knowledge swap! share your expertise with people here

by Alison Green on April 11, 2024

Are you good at something and willing to share that expertise with others here? We did this six years ago and it was a great success, so we’re doing it again. Here’s how it works:

1. In the comment section below, name something you’re really good at that you’d be willing to answer questions about. It could be Excel, or running meetings, or make-up recommendations, or resolving customer service problems, or anything else that you’re awesome at and willing to take questions on.

2. Ask questions of others, and answer the questions people ask of you.

3. Feel free to leave calls for expertise too — like “how do I confine a search to a single column in Excel?” or “how do I keep people from falling asleep in my presentations?”

If all goes well, at the end of the day you will have helped other people and been helped yourself.

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{ 2,607 comments }

{ 2,607 comments… read them below }

  1. A. Nonymous*

    Hello: I am very good at calendar management and inbox organization (I manage my boss’s inbox/calendar) and can try to answer any questions I can.

    Who here is good with managing or guiding a coworker on your team who isn’t your direct report?

    1. Lab Boss*

      Hi! I have a team under me (one lower-level manager, and then a team managed by them). They work closely with another individual contributor who reports directly to my boss, but is closer in level to my direct/indirect reports, and I often have to guide him without being able to directly manage him. What can I help with?

      1. A. Nonymous*

        responding to the top comment!
        (caveat: I am an assistant managing the inbox & calendar of my manager, a Global Group Head – this is from a paired perspective)

        So- the single most important thing to do is to create a quick visual “language” understood by yourself and your manager. You accomplish this a couple different ways – I mainly use the colored flagging system in Outlook. This allows my manager to be able to look at her inbox and quickly see, for example “OK – three immediate action items, two things to read, one personal item, and prep info.” This in turn allows her to effectively respond and manage her time – she knows which flag denotes which level of priority. “Write” this language quickly and distribute it. These are the color flag categories I use for her inbox and her calendar:
        – Action
        – Action ASAP
        – Catchup
        – Deadline
        – Decision/Review
        – DEI (She leads the company council)
        – Eating Meeting
        – (My initials) on it – “I’m taking care of this, you don’t have to”
        – External Event
        – File this!
        – Gym
        – Kids
        – Husband
        – Important
        – Lunch
        – Meeting
        – (My boss) Read – confidential, not for me to read
        – Open/free time
        – Personal
        – Prep
        – Read
        – Recruiting
        – Training
        – Travel
        – Vacation
        – Work in Progress

        Tailor as you like, and this can also work for you. Create a code that you understand and stick to it.

        Now for inbox management…
        I prefer too many folders over too few – it’s clunky at the beginning, but eventually you get the hand of it and learn how to navigate your own files. Use in tandem with color coding:
        – Competitors
        – Compliance
        – Conferences
        – ERGs
        – Company News
        – Global Communications
        – Highlights (when applicable)
        – HR (incl. DEI, Recruiting, Promos, Payround, Headcount)
        – Management
        – Newsletters
        – Office (Meeting Invites, Travel, Team building)
        – Operations
        – Personal
        – Planning
        – Presentations
        – Research (Internal, external)
        – Senior Meetings
        – No longer needed
        Happy to answer more questions. Happy organizing

    2. HonorBox*

      I have experience with guiding teammates who are not direct reports. I have several people who dotted line report to me, though my boss the the true manager. I’m happy to weigh in if I can help.

      1. Syfy Geek*

        HonorBox, how do I make it clear without being too abrupt to my teammate that when I give her the instructions for a re-occurring procedure, she should do it the same way, every time?

        She’s awesome at parts of her job, but the other parts not so much. Her great part is working with people, the not so great part is the follow up paperwork. So she wants to do it differently to make it faster and easier on her. And I understand that. But our paperwork goes to Accounts Payable, and they have RULES that have to be followed. When I’ve pointed out/reminded her of the procedures, she’s laughed it off, and said she’d start doing it. And she does, sometimes…

        1. Fire Lord Azula*

          One thing I have tried is asking the person to make a guide to the procedure and then check it with someone higher up. This definitely depends on the personality of the person, though – mine just can’t remember things and asks the same questions over and over, so we are having her write her own process docs that she can refer to.

        2. Cyborg Llama Horde*

          In situations like this, I generally try to state 1) that it is important that something be done a particular way/this isn’t a process we can change and 2) why, with an optional 3) acknowledging that this may feel trivial, if it does.

          Examples:
          “Hey, please remember to check that you’ve uploaded all the prerequisites before processing the job. If we don’t have all the prereqs, the job can succeed but actually be in a failed state, which in some cases can cause a security incident that we need to report.”
          “It’s really important that this box go green BEFORE you press this button, because if you initiate step three before step two is complete, it starts running on the old config, and that can cause serious issues for us.”
          “We need to go through this checklist every time, and document that we have completed the checklist, because it’s collateral for our security certifications, and if an auditor were to find items without documented checklists, we could get marked down or possibly even fail the audit.”
          “I know that the blue and green folders thing seems silly, but we need to do it, because if our files aren’t in the correct color folder, Accounting won’t process our vendor payments, and we nearly lost a big client last year because of a system outage caused by not paying our vendors on time.”

    3. BradC*

      Ooo, I’d love your email inbox primer: what’s your general philosophy (zero-inbox, etc)? How do you handle in-progress or waiting-on-something items? Flags/folders/etc? What about when something is complete? Delete/archive/move to project-related folders? I know I’m always going back to search for prior discussions on a topic.

      Thanks!

      1. hypoglycemic rage*

        I would ALSO love to know this! I like to think I am pretty good at it now, but I can always improve. :D especially with organization…..

    5. abitahooey*

      I have a lot of experience with customer service in general, as well as brand social media. If you need help ousting any trolls I have GOT you!

    6. Fire Lord Azula*

      A general tip for guiding a coworker – I reward the behavior I want to see.

      For example, my coworker sent a Teams message to me while I was in the middle of something. At a quick glance, it could wait until I was at a good stopping point, so I didn’t answer. Coworker then sent a message to a group Teams thread that I am on. Then, about one minute after that, Coworker sent a message to a different Teams thread that I am on.

      This is something Coworker often does, if the person doesn’t respond quickly enough, they will continually paste the message into more and more Teams threads. That’s not really how we operate (Coworker is the newest member of the team, but not new-new anymore), so I just waited them out until they came to my desk to ask.

      I told them I was in the middle of something, but would be by to help when I could. And then did so!

    7. m0rgan*

      ohhh I have really been meaning to organize my inbox but I have no idea where to start!

      What are good folders to have/best methods of organization? Any tips to get started would be so helpful – I have 8 years of emails! Also what’s a good method for emails that I need to follow up on or get to at a later date? I’m currently leaving them “unread” until I get to it, then once completed, it can go to “read” and the notification disappears. Not sure that’s the best way to go about it.

      1. Healthcare Manager*

        Q. good method for emails that I need to follow up on or get to at a later date

        Alison has a blog about this, she puts all of the emails in a folder named ‘reply pending’

        I do slightly differently in that I use categories (right click on an email in outlook and you can see categories and rename them).

        Step 1. I move emails from my inbox AND sent box into allocated folders for each project so I can see everything in the one folder and then scroll through or filter based on category

        Step 2, name my categories
        Action: an email where I need to do something
        Monitor: an email where I don’t need to do something but someone else does and I need to keep track that a) they do it or b) I can then do my thing
        Reply pending: when I’ve sent an email to someone and I’m waiting for a reply
        Info: an email contains information I’ll want to refer back to at some point
        Done: to keep track of things that have been done / by myself or others (I use this in shared mailboxes, in my own I use the tick function)

        1. LC*

          I love categories, but I have one for items with my boss, and one for each staff member. I apply thr categories to both task list and emails.

          Then when I have staff 1:1 meetings I pull up my pending email folder and tasks and sort by category. There are all their pending items!

      2. Port*

        I’ve sort of abandoned the idea of organizing my inbox. It takes too much time and mental bandwidth to decide which email goes into which folder. It’s also labor intensive, esp if you have a few years to file. Plus a lot of emails might belong in more than one category of folder. So you spend more time looking for things. Ymmv! My outlook has a really good search function so I’m able to find past emails very fast, which lets me just leave everything in the inbox. If there’s an email I need to save for project documentation, I tend to export it to OneNote.

        If you’re looking for ways to sort out flagged emails and you have Outlook, then the tasks pane can be pretty powerful for managing tasks and flagged emails, although I see they’re phasing that out. (I am gonna be so mad when I can’t use it in outlook anymore.)

        1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

          Amen to your last paragraph. Used correctly, Outlook Tasks is incredibly powerful and has been for twenty years. New Outlook has wholly done away with it, and I’m furious – uninstalled and went back.

          It’s very common for me to have multiple discrete actions from a single email and in all previous versions I’ve been able to do that with different deadlines, progress bars, notes, attachments etc.

    8. MCR*

      What is your process for scheduling conference calls for mid-sized groups (8-12 people) across organizations? I’m constantly frustrated by how much time this takes with my firm and our clients. The process goes something like this:
      Client: “We need a meeting to discuss this next week. Please let us know your availability. Copying in Kendall, Shiv, Roman, and Connor, who will need to join as well.”
      Us, team of 4: We engage an admin to look at our calendars to find a half an hour free in all of our schedules at various points in the next week. Admin emails me the times. I ask internally if these are correct. Internal team members chime in “oh actually I can’t do X time” and I edit accordingly, then I send the list of times to client.
      Client: I’m free at time X and Y.
      Kendall, Shiv, Roman, Connor: Each chime in saying they are free at different times, often not including X and Y. This process takes 1-2 days.
      In the meantime, internally we schedule over the times originally offered because it’s taking so long for client to decide.
      Often we end up pushing the call out even further and exchange 5-7 more emails before a time is picked.

      Drives me insane. Any tips!?

      1. The Analyst*

        I used to coordinate multi-day and conference call meetings for people at some 10 organizations, and I found a Doodle poll sent to all attendees with possible options is best. Each attendee can indicate available, available-but-not-ideal, or not available times. Your system using the admin up front can help narrow that initial list of times, and your colleagues can participate in the poll to indicate the times they appear free but are not, in fact, free.

      2. Cathie from Canada*

        Is it possible for you to tell your team to reserve tentatively a time block each week for meetings? Say, Wednesdays after 3 or Thursdays after lunch or ? Then you could offer these times to the client in the first email.

      3. Port*

        If doodle starts to feel like a moving target or a game of battleship, I usually go to when2meet, which shows where everyone’s availability overlaps in a different way. Very easy readout too.

      4. MrsPookie*

        I give dates and times and let them choose one and go from there-usually with the REPLY ALL option, folks will bend and work within others schedules.

      5. A. Nonymous*

        Honestly, ya gotta go full domme. Use the Share >> Email calendar function and make them work around you. Easiest way to keep everyone on the same page.

      6. JLG*

        When2meet.com

        This is like doodle, with the key advantage that everyone can see what others have already approved. In my experience once 3-4 people chime in, then people tend to gravitate towards the consensus spots.

      7. bailey*

        if I’m understanding your comment correctly, you’re saying that you initially confirm that times A/B/C/X/Y/Z work for all 4 team members, the client picks time X or Y, and then the 4 team members respond with times that are anything other than X or Y? it sounds like the process should be that you confirm times A/B/C/X/Y/Z work for all 4 team members, then all 6 of those times should be temporarily booked for all 4 team members until the client picks one, then release the other 5 bookings. would this work for your organization?

      8. Another Admin*

        Could you delegate this entire process to the admin? It’s possible there are admins at the other orgs and the admins could work together. A lot of times admins can be quicker with these things and will often know what can be shuffled. Meaning someone might just offer their calendar openings but if an admin knows there’s a conflict with 1:1 they know that can be shuffled to make room for larger meetings.

    9. Healthcare Manager*

      A. Inbox management

      I love to get some tips about managing heavy email flow with a busy meeting schedule. I’m at the point where I can’t read every email that comes in and have to multitask and respond to emails while in meetings to stay on top of everything. I’m a project manager/programme manager if it helps. I get 100-150 emails a day.

      My current strategy
      1. Folders set up to organise emails
      2. Categories on emails (action, monitor, reply pending) so can easily scroll and see which emails I need to do something/chase
      3. Quick sense check on every email in the pop up to see if I need to read the whole thing
      4. Trust people will chase me if I don’t see it (I don’t like this one, but it is common in my industry)
      5. Organise in downtime Prep notes with emails attached in my calendar for each meeting that day (4-5 a day)

      B. Guiding when not line manager

      A necessary skill in project manager as rarely have any authority as not the line manager (matrix model). I put a lot of energy into building relationships, and ask questions (even when I know the answer). Then talk to people to ‘explore options’, and help them to pick the option I want. It’s much longer but more effective to get someone to agree this way and better than telling them as most people just don’t like being told what to do.

    10. A. Nonymous*

      Replying to myself and to the top comment:

      (caveat: I am an assistant managing the inbox & calendar of my manager, a Global Group Head – this is from a paired perspective)
      So- the single most important thing to do is to create a quick visual “language” understood by yourself and your manager. You accomplish this a couple different ways – I mainly use the colored flagging system in Outlook. This allows my manager to be able to look at her inbox and quickly see, for example “OK – three immediate action items, two things to read, one personal item, and prep info.” This in turn allows her to effectively respond and manage her time – she knows which flag denotes which level of priority. “Write” this language quickly and distribute it. These are the color flag categories I use for her inbox and her calendar:
      – Action
      – Action ASAP
      – Catchup
      – Deadline
      – Decision/Review
      – DEI (She leads the company council)
      – Eating Meeting
      – (My initials) on it – “I’m taking care of this, you don’t have to”
      – External Event
      – File this!
      – Gym
      – Kids
      – Husband
      – Important
      – Lunch
      – Meeting
      – (My boss) Read – confidential, not for me to read
      – Open/free time
      – Personal
      – Prep
      – Read
      – Recruiting
      – Training
      – Travel
      – Vacation
      – Work in Progress
      Tailor as you like, and this can also work for you. Create a code that you understand and stick to it.
      Now for inbox management…
      I prefer too many folders over too few – it’s clunky at the beginning, but eventually you get the hand of it and learn how to navigate your own files. Use in tandem with color coding:
      – Competitors
      – Compliance
      – Conferences
      – ERGs
      – Company News
      – Global Communications
      – Highlights (when applicable)
      – HR (incl. DEI, Recruiting, Promos, Payround, Headcount)
      – Management
      – Newsletters
      – Office (Meeting Invites, Travel, Team building)
      – Operations
      – Personal
      – Planning
      – Presentations
      – Research (Internal, external)
      – Senior Meetings
      – No longer needed
      Happy to answer more questions. Happy organizing

    11. Jules the First*

      Got an inbox question for you and a calendar one!

      My inbox has 50,000 items in it which I need to sort through and archive. Is there an easy way to find and archive all the ones with big attachments? My Outlook mailbox is nearly full; using the desktop app. After this, any brilliant ideas for staying on top of my 500 messages a day?

      Calendar question: I’m getting a new PA next week and wondering how best to communicate how I want meetings scheduled and prioritised. Things like making sure I get regular breaks without having to set rigid rules/timing; knowing which meetings to defend at all costs and which ones can be rearranged.

      1. Cathie from Canada*

        500 emails a day? Sounds impossible to manage. Two assistants might be able to do it if they did nothing else. All emails you get would need to be seen by them first and sorted or handled or filed so you only read a dozen or two a day.
        As for the 50,000 in your inbox, email can be sorted so large attachments are at the top of the queue. But really, unless there are regulatory reasons to hold on to some of them, I recommend you just delete everything older than a week? or a month? whatever works for you. hope this helps

      2. markey j*

        if there’s any rhyme or reason to the e-mails you receive, I think automatic rules would really help. if a certain person or organization’s e-mails are always about a specific thing (project updates, hiring, whatever), you can create a rule to move those e-mails to a specific folder for that information. If there’s a certain phrase your organization always uses for something (example: the “Smithertonson project”), you can make a rule for that too. you can also add multiple phrases to the same rule (ex: move e-mails with “Smithertonson project” or “Smithertnson project” or “project Smithertonson” or “SMITHPROJ” et cetera to the Smithertonson Project folder) and continue to update the rule every time someone uses a new phrase or misspelling. the only caveat is that you now have to remember to check all those folders because you won’t get the e-mail in your inbox! you can also make rules but leave them turned off and just run them manually, which will let you see e-mails as they arrive and then file them away at the push of a button when you’re ready.

      3. Troubadour*

        To find-and-archive big attachments in your inbox (assuming Outlook desktop):
        * start in the inbox
        * click in the search bar – don’t type anything, but select “current folder” from the dropdown menu
        * click somewhere in the blue bar so you can see the tool panel again
        * click “Has atachments”
        * at the top of the list of email, find the sort menu (it’ll probably be on “by date”) and change it to sort by size

        Then you can select all the ones from largest to whatever you want the cutoff to be, and do what you like with them.

        500 emails a day: it depends on the emails. I get a lot of mailing list emails so I have rules to send these to specific folders, then when I have time I can scan the titles and delete as I go. You might be able to do something similar based on the sender. For anything you have to sort manually the important thing is to be able to make a snap decision of whether this is something that:
        1 you don’t actually need the detail -> delete unread
        2 useful to read but no further action -> skim and delete
        3 may be needed for reference later -> archive into a “for reference” folder
        4 requires a quick response -> skim, immediately reply with “Yes, go ahead” (or forward to someone with “can you follow up on this?”), and delete
        5 requires more work -> move into a “for action” folder (and/or add to whatever system you use to manage tasks – but getting it out of the inbox makes it easier to see what you haven’t seen yet)

        *Hopefully* most of your emails are in categories 1-4!

        Some people also find it helpful to block out a time when they’re doing this kind of triage only, vs times when they’re working on the actual actions when they ignore all new incoming emails which would distract from their focus. This varies depending on the person and the environment I think.

  2. Cubicles & Chimeras*

    I am great at building relationships where we work internationally or just have never been face to face. For all you struggling with hybrid, remote, zoom relationship building, holler at me.

    1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

      Any tips for making sure work is distributed fairly between remote and in-person staff when the people giving work have varying levels of tech ability? Working at a small/mid size law firm, and I feel like our in-person staff get hit with more work from the in-person partners.

      1. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        It’s a twofold thing:
        – One for your in house people: make sure they know their limits and have the ability to turn down work for someone else on the team to do. It’s hard to build that because it’s easier to be silent in a chatroom or email when another work item comes up – particularly if it comes up in person and gets handed off to the in house people. Sometimes you’ll have to be a bit vocal about “who can take x, sadie is full up”. Or assign/reassign work as needed to even the workload. Additionally, depending upon your in house person’s tenure, you could make it a part of their job to parcel out the work they’re given by in house people. This can be a mixed bag sometimes, perceived power by some or unwanted by the in house person, but with the right team it can feel very natural that part of their duties is to play operator for in house staff.

        – For your distribution amongst workers regardless: it might be time to revamp how you get work. I’m just going to run with the concept of an IT Team. You’ve got everything from “my mouse doesn’t work” to “complex computer problems that stump even your best people”. Your in house person is going to be hit with the worst of the lower end, which will suck for them because it’s not interesting. So you can do a few things: have your in house person be the lowest level person on the team so their job is to do the most boring work, you can have your in house person have time to “hide” so they’re unbotherable by your other in house people so they can do the more interesting work. You can revamp how work comes – nothing comes face to face, only internal tickets. (Law firm means they understand billable hours! So you can lean into this, that you need to track hours worked on all these different types of tasks to identify areas we’re overspending/efficiency gains/etc, so now all work types will be submitted by X, triaged, and then managed across the team.) That allows you to better distribute across your team and also see what they’re doing so you can ensure your staff are all doing the same amount of work.

    2. DisneyChannelThis*

      How do you get “facetime” for lack of a better word? I feel like a lot of the time my work goes unnoticed until there’s a problem.

      Also, how do you build community with your coworkers? Ive been here 2 years and never talked to some people that are full remote or heavily hybrid remote.

      1. EmF*

        I work fully remotely for a company with thousands of people scattered across the world. If I’m doing something that involves them, I’ll shoot them a Teams message. “Oh hey, I’m grimpling some wotsits at the moment, and I want to make sure I’m doing it in a way that helps your wotsit grimpling needs. Here’s a screenshot – how does that look?”

        Means I’m not contacting them randomly out of the blue, and then once they’ve taken a look at it, sometimes that gives me more to talk about “… wow, I’ve never seen wotsits grimpled that way before. It looks really effective. Do you have time/can we set time to walk me through it?” If nothing work-related, “Thanks, I appreciate the time! I hope you have a good Thursday evening – personally, I’m going to spend mine (something noncontroversial and relatable – laundry? trying a new recipe? Going for a walk because the weather’s finally nice?)”

        Working remotely, you don’t run into folks into the hallways, so it’s important to intentionally build contact. If they told me in return that they were looking forward to Bridgerton and it turns out we had that in common, I might make a note to myself to ask them how they liked the first episode. (“Have you watched it yet? I’m only on the first episode, but oh my GOODNESS, how cool is Penelope?”) once it airs, in a spoiler-free way.

        Or “oh, that’s Laura, Laura likes fantasy romance novels, I should ask her for a recommendation.” And then I’ll put a hold in at the library, and read the book, and if I like it I’ll let her know.

        I really like Teams/Slack conversations, because I can scroll up and be reminded of what we talked about last time and I won’t forget someone’s name. Super useful. I wish face-to-face interactions had that. “I know I’ve been introduced to you seven times, but I do not remember your name or what we talked about last time” is so embarrassing.

        1. EmF*

          (In summary: I know a lot of folks here aren’t huge fans of small talk, but small talk is super important when you’re working remotely. It’s the equivalent of smiling or nodding at people as you pass in the hallways. Hi! I see you! You exist! How’s the weather in Mumbai?)

      2. catlady*

        My department has a really lovely remote/hybrid work culture that all grew from the pandemic shift to remote. On Slack, we (team of 12) say good morning and we sign off. If we’re sick or have something else going on that’s going to impact work, we mention it in our good morning message (“I’m not feeling well, taking a sick day” or “that storm flooded my basement, I’ll monitor email for anything urgent but will otherwise be ooo” etc). It prompts a sense of community and support to know in broad terms what’s going on with folks, and no one gets too personal with the details. We also have the usual pet pics and random thoughts channels, too, but usage fluctuates as people get busy; having the sign ons and sign offs in the general channel really helps us feel connected when we’re not seeing each other in person.

      3. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        Ultimately these are a bit intertwined, and I speak as someone who “kept the lights on” so nobody remembered I had a job until something elsewhere broke it.

        You build face time. Some of it is ultimately that social/community aspect. You join chatrooms about cooking or your pets or books, and you ensure you’re actually chatting with people in them a few times a week. (This is the easiest step one.) If your company offers things like Employee Resource Groups or skillset building things like a speech club, you join those for networking and “face time” even in hybrid. You keep your camera on at all times so you are a Face to them. If you have a team chatroom, you ask about what people’s weekend plans are. You offer help whenever anyone asks even for in person stuff, because even if you’re remote you can offer to do the backend stuff. This is at a cost to you, but it is also to your benefit that people see you as friendly, helpful, and they remember your name because of it and tell people about you because of that! (Oh, John found us the caterer, it’s sad he can’t be here to enjoy it but I’d never ordered catering before and he was a godsend.)

        Then with those superficial things, you build deeper relationships intentionally. You schedule time with people for 15 mins. For some that you have that superficial relationship with, you can just say “I want 15 mins to catch up on the office gossip, or tell me about how people felt about X after the meeting”. (Useful if you’re the remote and they’re the in person, or they’re in another office.) For those fully remote you don’t have a relationship with, you can schedule that time and ask “I really want to know more about your job as I realize I don’t know much about what you do.” or you really want to know about this project they just finished, or you noticed they’re really great at managing to due dates and you want to improve on that. Asking for help, asking to understand how other people keep the lights on, they’re just as lonely as you sometimes and don’t know how to make that step. So you have to be that first reach out. Then you build on it. You follow up post that meeting a day or two later thanking them in chat and asking if that meeting went well/hope their kid was feeling better/something that alerts them you paid attention to their meeting and gives them a reason to respond. You invite them to those chatrooms/those hybrid skill building events/resource groups and you’re the person they know there so they can start meeting others.

        And you schedule it. I ensure I talk to my people at least once a month via zoom for 15 or so mins. I chat them at least once a week about inane things on top of work things. I have reminders upon reminders because I am actually not a naturally social person nor am I naturally good at building a network.

        And as you do all of this, they in turn will learn about your job. They will know that nobody knows what you do and they’ll start talking about it. But it’s also worth finding time with people who are up above you and scheduling 15 mins to talk, to learn more about what they do and how they got there. (Particularly anyone who is on a path you could see yourself going down.) Be proactive too about your keep the lights on work – you know there are things that could break it, reach out to those people, those teams, and work on preventative measures. Or ways you can both make sure you alert each other of changes that might turn the lights off.

      4. Marble Racers*

        I just started in a 90% remote role. Twice a day we have “non-transactional time” zoom meetings. My team can have a hard time with forced chitchat, so one of them started showing us “professional” marble racing video’s. At first I was kind of shocked – we all earn decent money and here we are twice a day, 30 minutes at a time, watching marble racing. I mentioned this to my friend and that I thought I might skip some meetings (they are optional). She pointed out the company sanctioned these meetings and it must be important to them, so I need to participate! And she was right. Even though I’ve only met the group a few times in person, by having these non-meeting meetings, we are a pretty close group now. We don’t always watch marble videos, sometimes it’s other things, sometimes we talk, and sometimes we’re all tied up and can’t get to the Zoom. But for the most part I do try to make every meeting, it really has helped this newcomer feel welcomed and not isolated. (PS – some of the marbles races are quite elaborate. I had no idea this existed, and it can be fun – so check some out!).

    3. Carrots*

      What are your tips for building relationships when there are minor language / accent barriers that prevent an easy flow of conversation without repetition or awkwardness? Even though meetings are conducted in a single language it can be tough when not everyone is completely fluent.

      1. Hannah Lee*

        Depending on the meeting format, one thing could be to plan your schedule so that you are present 10, even 15 minutes before the meeting begins. Especially for regularly occurring meetings with similar attendees each meeting. While not everyone might be there, that’s a time when the few people who are there can interact informally, get to know each other.

        And within the meeting, if you’re presenting, think about opportunities to use visual aids, maybe with more detailed content (either sending them prior to the meeting or using in-meeting) which can make it much easier for non-native speakers to catch details).

        Lastly, being a good meeting citizen in general, such as amplifying contributions of people who are not the most typical/prominent speakers, doing what you can to ensure the primary SME’s or stakeholders on a topic have an opportunity to get the floor if they tend to hold back or get talked over by faster/native speakers.

      2. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        A few things:
        – If you have closed captioning for zoom/teams, turn it on! It benefits everyone.
        – Find tv shows where people have specific accents (or music or youtube videos, tiktoks, whatever) You need to train your brain to think in that accent. Sometimes even learning a bit of the language, watching shows in that language can help. You can see how that language shapes how they speak another. Understanding how someone who’s Finnish and approaches the vowel O and someone who’s Brazilian and approaches the vowel O help you distinguish that thought process and therefore the word/accent better.
        – Ensure people don’t talk over others to explain. Give the person time to slowly state what they need to state if they can’t find the words. Just like you wouldn’t interrupt someone who’s stuttering, you don’t interrupt the person who’s finding the word they need. Make sure your people in these meetings do the same. (Believe me, as someone who speaks other languages, sometimes a word just disappears on you. Or you can only think of it in effing Swedish and you’re speaking Hindi.)
        – If you think someone is not understanding, you can play rephraser. “So Yusef said that we need to do x to do y, Juusi is your team able to do x so we can move forward?”
        – When possible, have things written how that may be technical/uncommon words so everyone knows what those words look like.

      3. Once too Often*

        Trust that participants are intelligent & well-intentioned, that helps in both directions of comprehension.

        I’ve been on both sides of conversational fluency without business language. Treat participants as you would like to be treated; be easy to ask for help & ask easily for yourself. Remember that cultures use similar words very differently, sometimes in ways that induce titters. Eg, talking about “prophylactics” & learning that that means “condoms” to them.

        But really, most important is assuming good will & intelligence take you the farthest.

    4. CanadaGoose*

      Oh, this is an area I could use tips! I support an all-remote team of professionals, and we’ve done the get-to-know you chats over the last year, but don’t necessarily meet or talk every week. 1. How often would you suggest connecting on non-work topics? 2. What balance of asking questions and sharing my own experiences do you find works best? 3. I’ve kept some notes on things like kids names, hobbies, and other personal details I’d otherwise struggle to remember – please tell me if this is a bad idea. Thanks!

      1. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        If you’re all remote, I’d offer a few optional times to maintain the get together aspect – assuming your time zones work together well. (I manage across many time zones currently so it doesn’t.) You can do things like have a once a month friday coffee hour for the entire group to just catch up (optional attendance though, don’t force social hour), or a once a month “lunch and learn” where someone on your team presents a training on something. (Fun fact: these do not need to be about work related items, it could be teaching everyone on how to build better habits through their goal of training for a marathon.) This seems a bit trite, but it truly does help to build that camaraderie aspect of the team. Balance the times so that it works for everyone on your team, and also ensure you follow up if someone continually is not showing up, to ensure it’s because they don’t want to not because they can’t. (But some of this is for a manager than it is for someone supporting a team and not managing them.)

        For you individually, schedule more meetings. Follow up on a project you heard about, touch base again, and use your notes! Ask about the kid/cat/whatever. After that meeting, chat them a few days later with a thanks for making the time and a quick question about something you talked about – oh hey did your kids project go well/did you beat your time for the marathon, etc. If you noticed shared interests across some people in your notes, ask them if they trade baking tips with so and so. Chat someone and say “I remember you said you’re good at gluten free baking and I have a friend coming over who’s GF, any tips? good recipes for a dessert?”. People intrinsically want to be helpful when it’s something they like to talk about. Until you build a regular rapport where you’re at least chatting in chat multiple times per week, I’d err on engaging them to talk 60-0% of the time and sharing your own stuff the rest of the time. Sometimes it’s okay to just be honest and say “I feel disconnected sometimes, do you mind if I schedule a “coffee” with you once a month where we zoom and chat?”

        As to the notes – as long as you don’t keep anything inappropriate in there, I don’t see harm in it. I too struggle with that kind of thing, and so I have notes on people as well. Be kind in your notes and never admit it to anyone who you work with.

      2. Marble Racers*

        I just started in a 90% remote role. Twice a day we have “non-transactional time” zoom meetings. My team can have a hard time with forced chitchat, so one of them started showing us “professional” marble racing video’s. At first I was kind of shocked – we all earn decent money and here we are twice a day, 30 minutes at a time, watching marble racing. I mentioned this to my friend and that I thought I might skip some meetings (they are optional). She pointed out the company sanctioned these meetings and it must be important to them, so I need to participate! And she was right. Even though I’ve only met the group a few times in person, by having these non-meeting meetings, we are a pretty close group now. We don’t always watch marble videos, sometimes it’s other things, sometimes we talk, and sometimes we’re all tied up and can’t get to the Zoom. But for the most part I do try to make every meeting, it really has helped this newcomer feel welcomed and not isolated. (PS – some of the marbles races are quite elaborate. I had no idea this existed, and it can be fun – so check some out!).

    5. Green Tea*

      Do you use any particular online tools/platforms/techniques? to facilitate collaboration and trust-building?

      1. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        People who are Synchronous but remote: Chat systems are the backbone to everything. But they need to be more than just work conversations, that social aspect ties people together. Current trend in my chats is sharing music playlists amongst the team. I used to be on one where someone would share their favorite recipe (simple ones) and once a quarter we’d all try making it and sharing our results. (Sometimes to absolute laughter.) For managing work, they’re still beneficial because they can have automated alerts as well as internal chat widgets to submit questions, which allows the entire team to assist or just learn from someone else’s answer. I like Kanbans otherwise, lets everyone see what’s going on and where everyone is at.

        People who are async: Chats are still good, but threading is important because nobody wants to come into work and see 100 chats from people and read through it, it doesn’t happen. Some chat systems have widgets you can utilize so important information doesn’t get lost, use that! This can be things like widgets that feed meeting information into a box that’s pinned every day, or through a command someone can see the to do list for today that people are claiming work out of. But you need to schedule meetings on occasion for this group to get face time. Yes it means someone’s is going to be shafted for hours (and it should be you even if you have no wish for a 2 am meeting), but if you can get Germany, Australia, India and the US on a call once a quarter, it does wonders.

        You also just need to encourage cross collaboration in your individuals – say that you want to do a cross-learning thing once a quarter, so each find someone to meet with and learn how they do x or y. Put it on them to have 1:1s with their peers. Assign work in pairs sometimes, so they build those relationships.

        1. Azure Jane Lunatic*

          For async chat tools that offer it, I really like dedicated offtopic channels, either one offtopic channel or some specific topics like pets, cooking/food appreciation, arts & crafts, media appreciation. Coupled with redirecting conversations that stray back into shop talk into the appropriate forum, and doing a sum-up of the part that happened elsewhere. That makes it so if someone who does not share cat pictures is reading back through the main discussion area, they will be able to see why everyone started talking about teapot microwave safety. “Oh, so Alanis mentioned the cutest cat teapot with gilding, which reminded Taylor that we need to address the issue with the iridescent teapot coating in terms of microwave safety.”

          1. Cubicles & Chimeras*

            Oh same – although it depends on the number of people in the channel at any given time. 5-10 people async and 30 people async in a channel are very different things. But I definitely encourage threading so we don’t chat bomb people regardless of sync or async and it lets people look at things they find interesting.

    6. Anon Just for This*

      I’m an individual contributor on a small team that hasn’t had a manager in half a year. We’re 100% remote, but all in the same time zone. As far as I can tell, we hardly ever talk to each other (though one colleague and I get along great and connect regularly; for the record, she has had the same observation). If we have a meeting and I ask how everyone’s weekend is, there is a long, awkward silence. Like, you have to direct the question at a specific person to get any kind of answer. I’m generally pretty personable and have had a manager tell me that I’m very good at developing relationships and putting people at ease, even in a fully remote job.

      I don’t expect us to have heart-to-hearts or share our deepest hopes and dreams. Just some basic collegial chit-chat from time to time.

      1. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        Ooof, I’m sorry you haven’t had a manager in half a year, that’s probably not helping things. You might need face time (via zoom or whatever) to make the chat take off. Could you or your one colleague take point since you’re missing your manager? Maybe post in chat and say something like “I feel disconnected since we lost *old manager name*, I’d like to schedule a meeting every other week just to touch base. We could use it to ensure anything we learn is shared with others/ask questions/keep each other updated of where we’re at. I’ll send something out for Thursdays at 9 am, but let me know if there’s a better time we could all meet.” If you make it about you (I feel lost, I would benefit from this), it makes others more apt to help you because it’s making them feel important. And if you don’t ask for a time decision, but instead give them a time and ask for suggestions if it doesn’t work, it means that you don’t have to wait for people to respond to send things out. (A lot of people follow the path of least resistance, so if you schedule something, they’ll show up. But if you ask them to schedule something or a time, they can go radio silent.)

        Then when those meetings kick off, do the small talk about weekends/weather/hobbies. It’ll feel more natural then when you follow up in chat on Monday saying “how did everyone’s weekends go? Here’s my pictures from my kayaking adventure. Amol, did you get your garden planted? How was that book Hilda, should I add it to my tbr?”

    7. ccsquared*

      Once you identify people you want to connect with, how to do you make a request for a meeting? I have in mind people I’ve been introduced to, but failed to follow up with right away, and while I have general topics I want to discuss, it’s not for anything pressing, so I feel bad asking for time. Any scripts or formulas to craft an email would be awesome!

      1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        I’m not the expert, but I’d suggest something like this:

        Hi Jane,
        I really enjoyed meeting you when Wakeen introduced us [fill in details]. Your work on / your experience in [topic] was really interesting. Would you be open to connecting on [thing] sometime next week / this month.
        Thanks!
        ccsquared

        Remind them where they met you, say something enthusiastic about their work, then ask to meet up.

        The worst that can happen is they say no or ignore your e-mail.

        1. ccsquared*

          Thanks, this is great! Appreciate that you provided both the formula and sample wording, as that will help me adapt to various scenarios.

      2. Cubicles & Chimeras*

        Depending on how I know them, I do it one of two ways:
        – If they’re peers or people below me on an org chart (or I know them fairly well from some kind of interaction in chat or in a work project), I’ll send them a chat and ask if they’re not busy in the next few weeks, I’d love to connect on X, could I put 15 (30) mins on their calendar? Then post meeting or even in the last 5 mins of the meeting, I say I really liked talking about X, can we make this a reoccurring thing, say every month or every other week or so?
        – If they’re above me and/or I don’t know them well, I find a time slot a few weeks out and send them a meeting request, letting them know I’d like to talk about X item (or learn more about their role or whatever) but please let me know if there’s a better time for this meeting as it isn’t urgent. After the meeting, I send a quick thank you with a few follow up questions if I have some, and then state I really appreciated them taking them time/that I learned a lot, could I schedule something again in a few months?

        1. ccsquared*

          Thanks! What’s funny is this is exactly what I intuitively do with people I feel like I have already developed some rapport with, but my socially-anxious brain couldn’t pull this out as an approach that would work with someone I haven’t interacted much with. Having someone else affirm that it can work in this context is super helpful!

    1. The Prettiest Curse*

      Which platform do you use for event registration/management, and what are its advantages and disadvantages, including cost?
      (We’re in the process of dumping Eventbrite because they’re abysmal now.)
      Other events people, please chime in on this one too!

      1. Not a Real Giraffe*

        Another corporate event planner here. We use Cvent. Pros: It’s really robust and basically, if you can dream it, it can do it. It also syncs directly with our CRM system. Cons: It is expensive. We use it as part of an enterprise package with our parent company, but still feel the pain in our budget. It also takes a while to learn how to really use it well (though as a bonus, Cvent offers a lot of training opportunities both online and in-person). Depending on your account level, the customer service can vary from mildly helpful to superstar resolutions within minutes.

        I’ve used Event Create in other roles, but only recommend it for those who plan the occasional event. It’s cost-effective but not nearly as robust.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          Thank you! I have looked into Cvent and it seems pretty good (in a previous job, I used an event registration platform that was bought out by Cvent), but I’m not sure we’ll be able to justify the cost.

          1. Not a Real Giraffe*

            Another option is to explore vendors that already have Cvent licenses that you can use. I know meeting planner services like HPN Global have entire divisions that can help with event registration platforms for a fee way lower than your own Cvent license.

        2. Miette*

          Seconding Cvent and all the points made here. They also offer web programming and set up services, which really comes in handy if you don’t have that kind of thing in-house. It does take a while to learn, but the knowledgebase/training videos are actually quite helpful if you’ve the time/patience.

      2. frenchblue*

        We looked at Cvent, but it was ultimately out of budget. I’m exploring Pheedloop, and so far, I like it a lot.

        2. It's Me. Hi.*

          Pheedloop seems really promising, but I think they are best for smaller shows like under 3K.

          1. higher ed teaching*

            I anticipate maybe 25 people at any event for a couple years. I wouldn’t want them much bigger because I am doing workshop events.

      3. df200*

        I use Ticket Tailor because the fees were *much* cheaper than EventBrite. I’ve been really impressed with the functionality…it seems to do everything you could want it to do: easy payment processing using seamless connection to PayPal as a payment processor, the ability to offer discount codes and voucher codes, quick and easy to set up events, and some good back-end tools to manage bookings.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          Thank you, I’ve just started using Ticket Tailor for registration for our free events, so it’s good to hear from someone who’s used it more than me.

      1. Miette*

        Planning, promotion, production. Sorry for the alliteration, I’m primarily a marketer lol. The companies I work with either put on industry conferences or need support sending their staff/brand to industry trade shows.

    3. m0rgan*

      We do a lot of B2B work – we never know the best way to “advertise”, especially because relationship building is so integral. What do you find are the best methods to promote your work to other businesses? Any insight is appreciated!

      1. Miette*

        It depends on your audience and business model, but I find publishing content that is relevant to your audience is always very effective.

        Assuming you’ve got the basics already like a website and social media accounts on the platforms where your customers are likely to be, this content can be anything from white papers to webinars, blog posts, videos, user-generated content (UGC), social posts, webinars, etc. The key is to completely leverage the heck out of whatever you create across multiple channels so you get your money’s worth.

        Example: You’ve done a survey or some primary research in your space and will soon be publishing the results in a report. Get the biggest bang from it by: holding a webinar about the findings and how they show trends in the industry/are relevant to your target audience; issuing a press release (if the results are news-worthy); creating infographics promoting the paper on socials; cutting shorter videos from the webinar to also post on socials; create a series of blog posts; use the report as a fulfillment in paid promotions with an industry content site (I’m in tech so those would be TechTarget and similar); and on and on. As this content propagates, be sure you’ve got ways on your website to engage people who are interested in receiving more information–have a CTA for your email list/newsletter on every page, offer a free demo/trial, etc.

        Another thing to do is to develop content that’s relevant to your prospects at all stages of the purchasing funnel, not just at the top. So customer case studies, how to videos, technical articles, etc. are just as important as basic product info and promotional language around customer pain points/benefits. And if you’ve got happy customers who are willing to talk about it, put a customer story study pipeline together, because those testimonials are as good as gold.

        If you’ve the budget–and even if you don’t–I cannot undersell the impact that video has in reaching an audience. If you think YouTube is not for B2B, you’re wrong. It’s the second largest/most used search engine in the world, second only to Google, which owns it. I have noticed lately that Google prioritizes video in search results–just do a random search and you’ll often see that videos place higher even than the ads these days. This means that, if you optimize your videos for your SEO key words, you’ll place especially well in natural search and we all know how important that is. ALSO, be sure to post them to YT and embed the videos on your website (instead of just linking to them), because this also improves SEO results.

        Speaking of SEO, it really is the most important thing you can do, so make sure your website is optimized and if it isn’t get on it immediately. SEO is a marathon, not a sprint, and it takes time for it to be effective, but once it is, it’s extremely important to clients as they are in the initial stages of looking for a solution/product.

        Hope this helps–there’s loads more nuanced things you could do, of course, and other channels of promotion may work better in your market. Good luck!

    4. ferrina*

      Two questions:

      1. Are there any professional resources that you recommend, either directly or indirectly relating to B2B marketing? Podcasts or blogs or such?

      2. How do you get internal non-marketing people on board with the importance of marketing and things like brand messaging (so they don’t go rogue on their messaging)?

      1. Miette*

        1. It depends on which aspect of marketing you’re interested in learning more about, honestly. I’m on the lead generation/promotion/branding end of things, and I find that brands who are the leaders in their area tend to also publish a lot of good content on their blogs that’s relevant and free and useful. For example, if you’re wanting more info on how to do social marketing, I’d check out Sprout Social’s blog; if it’s blogging or website or email marketing, check out HubSpot.

        Also: Seth Godin is a minor deity–and a fun read, so check out his stuff.

        2. (Please take this in a non-gender-specific way) GUUURRRLLL! There’s a few places I’d start. First: do you have an executive “sponsor” that is someone with a “C” in their title who actually understands that marketing is important to the company and not just a cost center? If you can get them to back you up, then others will fall in line. Same goes for whomever is at the top of the department that’s causing the problem (Is it sales–it’s always sales). So start establishing a trust and rapport with whoever is in charge of that team. Second: If you can find an area where marketing really moved the needle for the company, something that no one thought of as being important before that maybe led to some quality prospects or even better, sales that closed. Demonstrate the value there–show how marketing directly led to a desired result. Increased awareness, SQLs, trials, etc. is what you’re looking for–something that sales people care about. This will sell the importance of what you do. As far as the importance of brand messaging, I long ago had to get super OK with being flexible about that, because unless you work for a company that’s draconian in the way they treat their brand and there are CONSEQUENCES for not doing it right, no one’s going to care much. THAT SAID, once the importance of marketing and what it can do for the org are established, you may find folks respect the process more and you can start asking/requiring them to purge all old PPT or email templates or whatever so that everyone’s on the same page. Good luck!

        1. Azure Jane Lunatic*

          A game-changer for my old team was learning how to migrate old PowerPoint presentations to a new template, so they didn’t have to do it manually for presentations they were still using. Just knowing that it could be done meant they could ask me how to do it rather than angsting over how much work it would be to do manually.

          1. Miette*

            This reminds me of a time when my company was had refreshed its brand so we were redoing all the PPTs and collateral. Once people saw how nice the professionally-done PPTs looked–and this was a place where there were lots and LOTS of network diagrams so this is saying something–they began to come to my team for help with new needs. They began so see our in-house designer as an asset they could use, which was a direct result of my campaign to get along well with the Sales VP and give them the support they needed whenever we could.

      2. T.N.H*

        For number 2, I’ve had success using Amplify which helps facilitate social media sharing across the org.

    1. Tuckerman*

      What’s the best way to prepare a soon to be kindergartener for starting at a language immersion school (Spanish program)?

      1. Spanish Prof*

        First – congrats on getting your kiddo into one of those programs! They can be remarkably effective if done right.

        Attending orientations will be extra important as kindergarten is already overwhelming for some kids without also being dunked into a language they don’t know. The more familiar they are with their classroom and teacher(s), the better.

        If you allow your kids screen time, there are lots of great shows out there in Spanish, about Spanish, or which have been translated to Spanish. Disney has done a marvelous job with its song translations, and it has the benefit of adding familiarity. Or you can play kids music in the car, etc.

        The final thing I would suggest is that you get ahead of your kiddo suggesting that people who are not speaking in English are talking “funny” or talking “wrong.” By exposing them to some input ahead of time, you can talk about how people in different places or sometimes even in the same place, simply use different words, and that’s okay :)

        1. chili oil*

          I second this. I did immersion for my kid, and for a long time (and in summers) we limited screentime to the immersed language. Also, try to learn it yourself, if you don’t speak it. There will be times that your kid wants to explain something, and they won’t have the vocab in English.

        2. Gen*

          My kid is in 4th grade in a Spanish immersion program. I also recommend parents learn the target language at the same time. No need to take a formal class but highly recommend if you can. Even an online app is sufficient. It helps to model the learning process (that mistakes are ok!) and it also allows parents to communicate with the mono-lingual Spanish families that often make up half the program.

      2. MikeM_inMD*

        ¿Que pasa?

        But seriously, the above is the most complex thing I can say in Spanish, and I am thinking it would be useful to learn Spanish. Are there any particular apps that you think do a good job at teaching conversational Spanish? Which one(s) would you recommend?

        1. Spanish Prof*

          As a classroom teacher, I never really made a study of the various apps. I am a bit familiar with Duolingo, but my sense of it is that it’s most useful for acquiring vocabulary (though it also depends on a person’s existing knowledge of a [any other] language(s), observational focus [“noticing”], willingness to mentally rehearse outside of app time, etc., all of which is highly individual and subjective).

          I hope others who have used apps will chime in, but my experience has taught me that unless you are a very self-aware, autodidactic learner, nothing beats actual live interactions for learning how to converse (once you have enough base vocabulary to even get started; otherwise it’s “how are you” and “fine” and then it’s pretty frustrating). That can be done in a classroom setting (your community center may have very low-cost classes available), through social groups (such as MeetUp, which often has language exchange groups), travel abroad, and through language exchange lists (I think there are some on Reddit and there are various sites available if you Google) which will match you with a fellow learner online.

          Sorry not to answer your question specifically but I hope these ideas may be helpful at some point. I also hope that you will indeed make this effort – learning a new language is brilliant for your brain, and of course opens doors to greater interpersonal connections and cultural appreciation.

          1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

            I tried Duolingo to refresh my basic Russian and this dovetails with my experience. It tested on vocab, but didn’t seem to get into any of the grammar. At least it didn’t in the lessons I did. Like, not even how to conjugate verbs.

          2. Trina*

            While I 100% agree that in-person instruction and/or practice is the way to go if you are really committed to learning the language, those who want to supplement that with some solo learning should check what resources your library has. They may carry CD/audio based programs like Pimsleur or let you access more structured learning apps; our patrons can use Mango Languages – which is usually subscription-based – for free.

        2. Spanish Prof*

          Ugh, Mike – I just typed out a long answer but it got lost in the ether. I promise I’ll respond!

      3. Jessica*

        I used to work at a Spanish immersion school, and one of the biggest things we recommended for Kindergarteners was SLEEP. School itself is exhausting for 5yo kids, and a new language ups the mental load. So get that kid to bed early, and don’t plan many other activities during the week for the first couple months!

      4. greg*

        My daughter is in a language immersion program for K (she came from an Italian program for Pre K). The track record at the school is very high with language acquisition. A few things:

        – Treat it like an honors program. It’s A LOT for them to take in so make sure they are getting extra rest etc.

        – Google translate can be your friend! I need to use it to help her with her math homework (yes Math is taught in Spanish) but I make sure to read the instructions in Spanish for her.

        – It is significantly easier to learn to read in Spanish than English BUT your child is then using extra brain power because they are non Native Spanish. I’d say the real challenge is at home she likes to practice English reading and I have to teach her to switch back and forth (For example, the letter “a” makes one sound in Spanish but multiple sounds in English).

    3. badger*

      What are your best resources for professional and technical Spanish learning? I have very strong social and conversational Spanish but am transitioning into working in Spanish professionally and really need more study resources for learning to speak, read and communicate in a high quality professional Spanish! (For context, I work with spanish-speakers from across the spanish speaking world, so doesn’t need to be dialect specific, as everyone is very tolerant of dialect differences, but more about levelling up my spanish to the technical elements of the professional sphere, rather than social/day to day life)

      1. Spanish Prof*

        I don’t have specific resources, but I can suggest an approach. It’s great you already have a foundational knowledge of the language to begin with!

        Treat yourself as if you were an intern in your field, and read up! I would look for blogs, newsletters, websites, etc., of companies and individuals who work in your field (you might use LinkedIn to find people to follow), and soak up (look up) as much as I could (try to make sure that the results are .mx or whatever so you know you’re looking at original Spanish and not a translation – which are often great, to be sure, but no reason not to get at the language as it was initially produced)

        Ask your Spanish-speaking colleagues if they’d be willing to forward or cc you on low-stakes communications so you can see how they’re using language in context.

        How’s your listening comprehension? Podcasts or YouTube channels by professionals in your field could be useful for additional exposure. The latter can sometimes generate excellent auto-captions, depending on audio quality.

        Keep a running list of unknown vocabulary, and split it into general Spanish and words related to a professional context (such as “gestionar” = manage/run). Wordreference.com is my favorite online dictionary.

        Also, if you’re on Facebook, follow the “Mundo Godínez” page (Godínez is basically like “working stiff” or “working Joe” and is all about office life, management baloney, etc. – memes, jokes, sarcasm, etc.). It has a lot of content which will introduce you to words and concepts you might not know right now – some of it may fly over your head, but it’s a source of both culture and language. Sometimes they also do serious posts from people seeking help because their employer isn’t following the law.

        Last tidbit: “Saludos cordiales” is the time-honored way to end an email, at least in Mexico :)

    4. museum manager*

      Are there any common phrasing/idiom-type mistakes to watch out for, specifically in language around opening hours, holidays, and parking/directions?
      My midwestern USA museum tries to have professional Spanish translation for key pages on our website, but we update opening/closing times and parking availability too often for professional translation to be feasible every time, and sometimes we have to describe specific situations e.g. when the museum will be open for public school holidays. Currently, I (with my vague memories of college-level Spanish) usually search for the “Horarios” page for museums located in LatAm and/or Spain and try to adapt that wording as closely as possible, but I do worry about my cultural knowledge gap as we don’t have any native Spanish speakers on our (very small) team.

      1. Spanish Prof*

        You are doing exactly what I would recommend, which is comparing your translations to ones produced in the country(countries) where the target language is spoken. That’s perfect!!

        There are variations around words like “holiday” (día festivo, día feriado), though I don’t think those are regional. For “parking lot” or “to park”, Mexico uses “estacionamiento” and “estacionar(se)” – but others might use “aparcar” or even “parquear” (which sounds like Spanglish but I think is used fairly commonly, though I personally wouldn’t use it).

        I like Wordreference.com because it will tag words (that it knows of) with italics and the country or region that it’s associated with. They also have a forum where you can search/post questions – super helpful – and the respondents also have their location so you know where the feedback is coming from.

        I suppose the other pitfall to look out for would be accidentally replacing commands with nouns. For example, “leave” (as in, leave your valuables in your car) would be the formal command form of dejar “deje” – but an uncareful dictionary user might end up with “permiso” (as in, maternity leave). I hate to say it but Google Translate has improved leaps and bounds from even just a few years ago :P

        Finally, try to be consistent. If your professionally-translated (bravo!) webpage was written with “tú” forms (addressing the visitor informally), then your command for “leave” would be “deja.” If it was written with “usted” forms (addressing the visitor formally), then your command would be “deje.” Etc. It’s not the end of the world when they are mixed up but it’s more professional when they’re consistent :)

        1. Spanish Prof*

          Sorry, I should say – the area of Mexico I lived in (DF/Puebla/Central) uses estacionamiento/estacionarse. One of my best friends is from Chihuahua and we often find that even that distance is enough for use to use different words for the same idea.

          1. museum manager*

            Thank you so much, this is all extremely helpful—I’d never heard of wordreference.com, but now I know how I’ll be procrastinating this afternoon!

          2. Annie*

            I’ve seen estacionamiento a lot in Tijuana, I think that’s one of the more difficult Spanish words (too many syllables!) :)

        2. Banana Pyjamas*

          Similar to parquear we used the word parquiadero. I actually forgot estacionamiento was a word. That’s in south and west suburban Chicago. I’ve heard parquiadero in music from northern Mexico as well.

    5. DisneyChannelThis*

      Here’s a really dumb question, what’s the difference between mexican spanish, columbian spanish, and spain spanish? Is there a way to learn specifically the version for a specific country (Like I know I can learn British English or American English) or will people look at me weird for asking that? My columbian friend uses words differently than my mexican friend, I’m not sure how widespread that difference is or even if like just what I am noticing is slang, accent etc.

      1. Eldritch Office Worker*

        I don’t think this is a dumb question at all and would also like to know. I (think) I was taught spain-spanish in high school and even the little bit I know has been confusing to the mexican-spanish speakers in my area. That could obviously be user error to an extent but it’s difficult to navigate.

      2. Database Developer Dude*

        This is soooooooo NOT a dumb question. Dialects are a thing, yo!

        I was in Caracas in the pre-Chavez era, and almost got my face slapped when I was looking for some breakfast. You have to be careful!!

        I was in an Army Reserve unit with a core of Spanish speakers, and one time out at dinner together, a Puerto Rican Sergeant asked the Mexican Staff Sergeant “What are you going to choose for your dinner?”.

        The Mexican staff sergeant responds: “I don’t know what you’re going to do with your food but I’m going to eat mine”.

        They were speaking Spanish. The word for ‘to choose’ in Puerto Rican Spanish is the F word in Mexican Spanish!

        1. Spanish Prof*

          This is probably the most classic Spain v. Mexico one – the verb you’re referring to is “coger”, which mean grab/take in Spain, but has evolved to mean “to f**k” in Mexico (and I think several other countries). To choose is “escoger” (or elegir, seleccionar, etc.), which is not problematic. But yes, if the sergeant was like “What are you going “to grab” for dinner?” lol it does sound pretty funny.

          I can’t bring myself to type out the urban legend about the evolution of “coger” (it mentions SA), but you could probably Google it.

      3. non-native Spanish speaker*

        Very smart question. I was actually speaking with a colleague recently on this topic. I studied in Spain and she’s Venezuelan. There are certain phrases that are commonplace in one location and would be confusing (or not well received) in another.

        1. MigraineMonth*

          From my understanding, there are pronouns and conjugation rules that differ from one region to another! Or the long r: Costa Rica is like, naw, we don’t do that here.

      4. Spanish Prof*

        Sooooo not a dumb question!

        First thing to know is that the word “dialect” (dialecto) is a bit contentious. Unfortunately, “dialecto” has been used to refer to indigenous languages throughout Central/South America, when they are in fact their own languages (idiomas/lenguas). By calling them “dialectos”, it diminishes their importance as full-fledged languages. But that correlation can mean that when you say “dialecto” in Spanish, someone might think you’re talking about an indigenous language and they’ll be like “I don’t speak a dialect.” So just a heads-up.

        Second thing to know is why – why are there so many variations throughout Latin America, and v. Spain (castellano)? There are many reasons, but the principal reason that you might see totally different words for something (particularly plants, foods, textiles, etc.) is that the indigenous peoples who were here first, had their own, differing words for things (because, of course, there were hundreds of languages spoken across the continent). So in (what later became) Mexico the prevailing word for corn was “maíz” but in (what is now) Perú the word was “choclo.” Or “banana” in one place is “plátano” in another.

        The second reason is time. 500+ years out from the conquest (rape, pillage, destruction) is a long time for languages to evolve. The Spanish in Spain isn’t the same as it once was, nor is that of Argentina, Colombia (note spelling with an O not a U), or Cuba! Basically you take the ingredients of indigenous language + Spanish (which was by no means spoken to an equally fluent or educated degree by the conquistadores or the colonists, either), let simmer for a few hundred years, and you’re going to end up with some differences.

        Some of which is slang, for sure (and SO fun to learn about – all the different ways to say “dude”, for example). Pronunciation is there, too – the way Caribbean nations tend to drop the “s” at the end of words, or the “sh” sound prevalent in the Argentine accent. But other stuff goes deeper – Costa Ricans say their “tú” imperatives in a very nonstandard way. Argentines say “vos”. Etc. (this is not an exhaustive list of who says what where, btw, don’t @ me :) )

        As far as what to learn – the only differential made by most textbooks is Spain Spanish versus Latin American Spanish, because Spain uses “vosotros” as its plural informal “you” (so if you were addressing your friends and saying do “you guys” want to go to the movies) whereas most of L.Am. uses “ustedes”. This requires learning all the verb forms that go along with vosotros. I always recommended to my students that they focus on Latin American Spanish (and learn the “Mexican” version of words if there were two options for something) because of practicality as US Americans, but I did encourage/allow them to practice Spain Spanish if they planned to travel to Europe.

        I do think the language apps have this same division, for the most part. As for your friends, nobody will look at you weird for asking about these differences, and most people will be very enthusiastic to tell you about their special slang or how people from other countries “sing” their words :)

    6. Diatryma*

      What are some good ways to retain and regain Spanish for an English-speaker who doesn’t use it in daily life?

      I minored in Spanish– should have double-majored, in retrospect, just for fun– and had what I thought was a solid grasp of Spanish… to my white classmates and my professors. I have a lot of anxiety about making things more difficult by insisting on Spanish, such as when traveling, and there’s no need for it in my work or home life. But I want to keep it as a skill, and it’s likely that eventually my kids will have bilingual friends whose parents I want to talk to.

      1. Spanish Prof*

        Well, if you want to study, you can use websites like studyspanish.com – there is a lot of free content before you get to the paid stuff.

        If you want to just immerse yourself a bit to reactivate the ol’ neurons – watching shows and movies you know well, but turning on Spanish subtitles (or audio – be aware that they are NOT likely to match) can be fun. You can make it into a lesson by jotting down words you don’t know, looking them up, etc., do a challenge by playing a scene with Spanish audio only, then again with English subtitles to test your comprehension, etc.

        Music in the car is great. My sister only took three years of HS Spanish but in college I’d make her listen to my Spanish CDs when we’d drive home during breaks and she still remembers some of the Shakira lyrics, lol (¿Dónde están los ladrones? is a beautiful album)

        Check out kids’ books in Spanish from the library and work your way up to YA – especially if it’s YA you already know. Harry Potter, Divergent, Twilight, etc. – most of those are available in Spanish (though they tend to be Spain Spanish, so be aware). Here the point might be to spend some of your time reading overall for gist (i.e., do NOT let yourself get bogged down by individual words), and then pick a paragraph once in a while to analyze, make a vocab list for, etc.

        Language exchange groups and MeetUps. Convo classes at the community center. Apps (some people are really motivated by streaks and gamified learning). Label stuff around your house. Make it a game with the kiddos. Flashcards. The usual.

        Finally – and this may sound silly but I promise it is huge – mental rehearsal. Make a point of translating your own thoughts into Spanish. “I have to buy bread” “Tengo que comprar pan.” Even better if you vocalize your thoughts. And, if you’re up for it, make note of what you didn’t know what to say and look it up later. I was only a teaching major (not a regular major) in Spanish in college but I still overqualified for entry into a Master’s degree in Spanish and I know the main reason I could express myself so well was mental rehearsal. All zee time.

        I hope this is helpful!!

        1. Diatryma*

          I wish there were Spanish conversation groups in town– there’s one run by the university that’s clearly intended for students, given that it meets at noon on a weekday. I have a couple Spanish-language books I’ve not been ready to commit to reading. And I guess as long as I’m reading to kiddos, I may as well see how well the Lorax is translated.

          Thanks!

    7. Minimal Pear*

      Do you have any recommendations for a replacement for Duolingo? Some of their recent updates have been bothering me. I’ve just been using it for basic maintenance. App or website are both fine!

      1. Minimal Pear*

        Oh, and it would be wonderful if there’s a way to test out of or skip beginner lessons.

      2. Mother of Corgis*

        I’ve used LanguageTransfer.org. Its audio lessons, completely free for Spanish and a few other languages I believe, and its less memorization and more understanding the common roots between the language and english, and how to find the word in the language even if you don’t know it, by knowing those roots and common rules.

    8. My Brain is Exploding*

      Is there some kind of general reference to use when trying to figure out what words in the Spanish-speaking country you are going to are slang for something else? Like not saying papaya in Cuba and using fruita bomba instead.

      1. Spanish Prof*

        Eeek, I don’t know of a single, catchall reference, and in fact I never knew that papaya was not to be used in Cuba (so thanks for that). Plus there is a bunch of variation even within countries, AND even words which technically have a slang meaning are often understood anyway (like the “coger” example above).

        I think it’s one of the joys of travel – figuring out what works where you are, maybe getting some frowns or giggles along the way. Like if a Brit offered you a rubber and you’re like WHAT and they meant an eraser. Or if you said that a certain dress makes your fanny look big and they’re like WHAT because, well … lol. Everyone in the convo will tend to know what is going on and figure it out.

        I suppose prior to travelling somewhere you could just search for “slang terms in Country” and start there … ? I’m sorry I don’t know of a specific comprehensive reference for this!

    9. Tau*

      Do you have any particular recommendations for someone who can generally understand native speakers when they’re trying to speak clearly (ex: the news, advertisements, tour guides, audiobooks, most one-on-one conversations with people as they realise I’m not a native speaker, etc.) but struggles to understand native speakers talking among themselves in a casual setting? This was rather humbling when I went to Mexico on holiday a few months ago. All I can realistically think of is get in more listening practice with Spanish-language podcasts etc., but I’m wondering if there’s something specific you do with students.

      1. Spanish Prof*

        The main reasons listening to native speakers is difficult, even when you know a ton of the target language, are: 1) lack of enunciation, 2) speed, 3) accent. Add to that people overlapping and interrupting each other, backtracking in their narration, not facing you so you can see their mouths/hear them clearly, etc. … it’s difficult!!

        So first – one thing is to become aware of the way that natural language combines itself/drops letters between words. Sometimes what sounds like one long word is two words sharing a vowel or an “s” (most often) – compare “¿Dondestá?” to “¿Dónde está?” or “Ellosaben” to “Ellos saben”

        If you’re like me (and my students) and you write words out in your head, sometimes we’ve misspelled or missed a silent H. Think of “¿Que ases?” which would really be “¿Qué haces?” or “lababo” – you’re like, what the heck is a “lababo” and then you realize it’s “laVabo” and then you figure it out because you know “laVar” is to wash and a “laVabo” is a place where washing happens (a sink).

        To improve your listening fluency in uncontrolled settings, you’ve already hit on one great idea, which is listening to podcasts (and if you have the right kind of player, you can slow down the play rate as needed). Ideally these would be on subjects you are interested in and have some vocabulary knowledge for, so the lexical piece is taken care of and you can focus on listening comprehension. YouTube channels/videos work for this, too, and have the benefit of visual cues and seeing a person’s mouth (sometimes).

        Quality pop/rock/alt/folk music (by quality, I mean there is more to their lyrics than just “do me baby”) is another way to practice hearing the ways words can get combined. In college, I PORED over my Shakira CD insert, memorized the lyrics, and listened to the songs ad nauseum. It was so freaking helpful.

        Watching Spanish-language shows can be really helpful. Netflix has “Nosotros los Nobles”, for example. You could play a scene with the original Spanish audio, then again with the English subtitles, then again with just the audio. Eventually you’ll rely less and less on the subtitles, or only need them because of words that you literally don’t know what they mean (not that you couldn’t hear or parse them).

        This is the hardest piece of language learning – tracking natural, uncontrolled, open-topic speech in a conversation that you are not a part of. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while. All practice is good practice!! <3 ¡Mucha suerte!

        1. Spanish Prof*

          The album is ¿Dónde están los ladrones? if you are interested.

          Also, I lived in Mexico for over six years (in the 2000s) AFTER getting my Master’s and while I was completely fluent orally, I still needed to learn slang … and improve, you guessed it, my listening comprehension. Despite myself, I got completely sucked into two novelas (every-evening “soap operas”): “La hija del jardinero” and “Amor en Custodia” (the Mexican remake, not the Argentine original). I don’t know if they can be found on streaming (I know they recently showed Amor en Custodia again), but because they are so repetitive/demonstrative and tend to move very incrementally, you tend to know what’s going on on a large scale and can focus on listening.

          Just be forewarned – Barbie (the main character of Amor en Custodia) has the Mexican equivalent of a “California girl” accent/vocab (like totally, for sure), and my daily exposure caused me to talk like her for a long while … up to and including the verbal crutch “o sea” which means “like”, lol. I’ve since mostly broken myself of the habit but it comes out from time to time :P

          1. Tau*

            ¡¡Muchas gracias!! That’s very helpful and it’s good to know I’m on the right track. In general I’m pretty happy with where I am with my Spanish because I *do* understand a lot and *can* have nice in-depth conversations about all sorts of subjects… but this whole thing made me aware of where I still need to put in some work. Admittedly, it didn’t help that the dialect was also an issue – I’m from Europe and have mainly learned Castilian Spanish up until now – but I was still hoping to follow a bit better, especially as I was travelling with Mexican friends and there was a lot of Spanish being spoken around me as a result.

            And yeah, the word merging always gets to me. My native language is German, and we do a thing where we set off words starting with vowels with glottal stops, so one vowel merging into the next doesn’t really happen and it took me a while to learn to listen for it in Spanish! I still sometimes get confused when “ha” or “he” just disappears in the perfect, like how “he esperado” often just sounds like “esperado”, definitely something to keep an ear out for.

            Thank you for the show and podcast recs! I’m unfortunately not a big TV/Netflix person, which is frustrating when I’m trying to learn a language, but I’ve managed to find a Spanish podcast that I find interesting and can understand pretty well (Despierta tu curiosidad from National Geographic, a history podcast – also good practice for understanding dates at speed, lol) and am always up for more. Music is also a good tip! Usually I’m more of a reader, but although reading more in Spanish won’t hurt my language skills it’s not going to do much for my listening comprehension.

            1. Clever Nickname*

              I’ve found the podcast “News in slow Spanish” to be really helpful with my listening comprehension. The free version of the show will give you the first 10 minutes of the episode, but there are hundreds of episodes. You can listen for free for literally days.

              They have intermediate and advanced for Peninsular and Latin American Spanish. 4 feeds total.

          2. Eileen*

            Just dropping in to say that doing the same thing with Shakira’s lyrics in middle and high school is how I leveled up my Spanish too!

    10. Clever Nickname*

      Would you mind sharing your thoughts on Spanish Language proficiency tests?
      How they’re seen professionally?
      What opportunities they can give you?
      If those opportunities are country-specific?
      How you feel about them as a Spanish Prof?

      1. Spanish Prof*

        Mm, that’s a tough one. ACTFL testing is probably the most well-known and respected (even outside of the US). In general, “proficiency” tests mean next to nothing if they don’t have a live interview component, which makes them costly.

        My university tried to split the difference by using STAMP tests as an exit exam, which have an oral component, but it’s the learner speaking aloud in response to a prompt – NOT an interview exchange. So decent, but not great. (And a much cheaper option)

        HOWEVER, some jobs don’t require speaking fluency, but rather reading & writing (which is, for a lot of people, far more accessible given the time and ability to access resources, work carefully, revise, etc.) So even a test that doesn’t check oral proficiency could be valuable if you were (for example) providing customer service via email. On the flip side, someone who studied in an immersion setting and has awesome oral fluency may have poor grammar or spelling! So it really can depend.

        In general, though, yeah – I’d say ACTFL is where it’s at in terms of recognition and also being a decent test. Educators follow their proficiency levels even when doing their own homegrown/classroom interviews and assessments.

        However, some agencies/businesses will still have their own tests they want you to pass, and that’s often because they work with a certain subset of technical terms or have simply had bad experiences they are now trying to screen for. My first teaching job back from Mexico – this was with a BS in Education, a Master’s in Spanish, and many years abroad – they still brought in other Spanish instructors to check my fluency in a brief interview. I wasn’t offended – it’s just the way it is. But my other credentials definitely got me through the door and I think that ACTFL is likely to do the same in most industries.

    11. Karma is My Boyfriend*

      I can read Spanish well enough to get the point across. However, I cannot speak it well, nor would I be able to get the gist of a conversation if listening to a native speaker. Any tips? Duolingo didn’t work for me because I could always see the words. I took 3 years of Spanish in high school (20 years ago!).

    12. La Federala*

      ¡Hola! I like all of your advice and suggestions. One that I find helpful is to watch shows/movies in the target language with closed captioning in the same language. There’s something about hearing and reading the same words at the same time that helps.
      I’m a court interpreter/translator. That’s one of my suggestions when people ask for advice on how to become an interpreter.

    13. Chase*

      Do you have any tips or tricks for helping students to learn to roll their ‘rr’s? I’ve studied Spanish off and on since high school, and have never figured out how to make my mouth do that.

  5. Anon in NJ*

    I work with family foundations and am happy to answer questions about how they work, etc.

      1. Anon in NJ*

        I work with family charitable foundations which are legal entities whose funds are restricted to charitable work, primarily making grants to nonprofit organizations. Ideally, the family makes all of their grants together in a collaborative process so my work sometimes involves trying to make sure disparate folks are working together while still in the bounds of the law.

    2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

      Have you ever run across a trust/foundation that does universal basic income for a large extended family? That’s something I’ve considered doing. Do you need to have a social worker on call? Do you do partial cash/partial trust fund for kids under 18? Do their parents just get that money? Thanks!

      1. Anon in NJ*

        My work is in charitable foundations so the primary work is in making grants to nonprofits and there are limitations to supporting family members. I work mostly with high net worth families so there are usually other financial supports available for family members. I usually think of financial and social supports for family members with needs called a Special Needs Trust in the US.

        1. Dawbs*

          If my workplace has…”stuff” specifically for these families, how do we get the information to be spread?

          i work education adjacent (think library- but that’s not quite it :) and we’ve worked really REALLY hard in getting special needs programming up and off the ground. but we struggle to get local families and schools to know it exists.
          and i can do more outreach to them if i only know how

          1. Anon in NJ*

            This is way out of my area of expertise but one option is to find nonprofits already serving the folks you are trying to reach out to, rather than the public as a whole. For example, in my area there are nonprofits that work to develop IEPs so maybe they’d share your programming notices with their clients.

          2. Anon in NJ*

            Later in this thread is an Abe Froman username with program management expertise and you might ask them.

      2. AM*

        I work for a family office – essentially we are a trust company that was created to serve the financial needs of a large net worth family. That has grown to now include multiple family foundations; we run the foundation and manage the family’s wealth including a lot of financial stuff for family members. We have trusts for all family members, some are for specific purposes and others are just Living Trusts; part of what we do as is disbursing money according to the trusts, and managing assets held by the trusts.

        No social worker, but we do have a client services person who’s job is to deal with the family members, but the trusts themselves are pretty specific about what each person gets and when.

      1. Anon in NJ*

        It’s hard. Most family foundations aren’t staffed, and the family typically acts in that role.It’s more akin to Individual Giving than Institutional Giving. So it’s often about getting in front of them through shared contacts (your board members if they are well placed are probably the best source of this) than LOIs or mailings over the transom.

    4. ex PhD*

      If you’re a humanities PhD looking to get out of academia, I can (probably?) help. I did it myself a few years ago.

        1. Esme_Weatherwax*

          No wait, come back! My corner of academia looks like it’s going to be shutting its doors in the next year or two and I’m trying to figure out what skills translate from academic contexts to business settings. I’m a behavioral scientist at a teaching-focused liberal arts institution. What advice do you have for job searching, either how to present my past experience or what kinds of roles to look for?

          1. Anon Just for This*

            I have a social science PhD and ended up working in government doing policy and data stuff related to my topic area. Though this was my career plan all along, since I’m not particularly interested in teaching and wanted to do applied work.

            The biggest thing that prepared me for this was taking a course in program evaluation. I had great research skills in some approaches, but program evaluation is open to collecting information via a bunch of different approaches. Second would be an online course in interrupted time series analysis (for free with EdX), since evaluating changes in policies or laws often uses this, whereas my research was looking at outcomes between groups at the same point in time.

            Several friends from grad school ended up taking jobs doing program evaluation or work on behavioural insights teams.

            You might also be interested in UX (user experience) roles.

    5. DataQueen*

      What’s the best approach to getting an operating grant funded? Do you totally see through it when we call it “planning grants” or “to support the needs of program XYZ”? Does it piss you off when we try to disguise that it’s operating money?

      1. Anon in NJ*

        I see through it but it doesn’t piss me off- I know that’s part of the game. I try and get my clients to give more general operating grants but it’s hard so I don’t want to tattle on nonprofits just trying to get their work funded. The most likely to give GO are those who have a long relationship with a nonprofit or who are giving small enough that restricted giving is not practical. Trust-based philanthropy IMHO is slow to catch on and also has to start from a relationship that already exists.

        1. DataQueen*

          Agreed, trust-based is slower to catch on and every org I’ve worked for is hesitant to educate donors. But my personal mission is to educate as many folks as I can!

    6. Wearing 17 Hats*

      I am the ED of a small nonprofit and we struggle to “win grants” that are then gifted to our larger “competitors” in the area. Any advice on how to stand out? And/or how to reach family foundations that we do not yet know of?

    7. MigraineMonth*

      Any advice for those of us who are looking to donate to less well-known organizations? On the one hand I want to be able to do a bit of vetting, but on the other hand I don’t like how controlling some of the donor-charitable org relationships have gotten.

      1. Orangie*

        Could you tell me more about what you mean by “how controlling some of the donor-charitable org relationships have gotten”? I work in donor relations, and donor perspective is worth its weight in gold!

        2. MigraineMonth*

          I haven’t fully thought this through, but it seems crazy that a charity is created to help with [genuine problem], and in order to do so it hires multiple employees that just jump through hoops all day. Searching for grants. Applying for grants. Cultivating donor relationships. Ensuring that the grant money is only used to pay for A, when actually B is desperately needed. Collecting possibly invasive data on those it serves to be able to report back to the donors that it really did help exactly N people. None of which directly helps with [genuine problem]!

          On the one hand, I understand that we don’t just want the people running the charity to pocket the money! On the other hand, it seems like a really top-down, controlling approach. There seems to be a real lack of trust or collaboration, and so much of the money has strings attached.

          I’m betting that there are plenty of times anti-malaria charities have ended up with thousands of dollars to purchase mosquito nets but zero dollars to transport those nets where they’re needed, or charities to combat homelessness that have plenty of money designated for shelters but none for paying their admin staff a living wage.

          1. Wearing 17 Hats*

            As someone who leads and fundraises for a small, young, lesser-known nonprofit, we definitely experience this. We “spend” a lot of time, resources, and money to write grants that may or may not get funded. We are an incredibly small team. We work hard to collaborate, so that donor dollars have an even bigger impact. We provide mental health services to an under-served area of our state, and grantmakers wish to fund projects (which I understand), but not overhead, so we struggle to provide services to the clients who need us most due to funds, but do *not* struggle to “build benches” for our clients to sit on around our facility.

    8. RedinSC*

      OOOOO!

      Ok, how does one get themselves in front of a family foundation when so many say no uninvited solicitations? How do you get to the point where you become visible to one?

    9. ccsquared*

      This is purely curiosity on my part, but is a family foundation the same as a charitable trust, and if so, how closely do future generations have to hew to the original founders mission? So for example, a wealthy couple is passionate about experimental art and music, and establishes a foundation to support and promote this scene. They give a lot of leway on what kinds of projects can be funded but their intent is clearly to promote the deployment of new forms of art and music. Could the subsequent generation all decide that they value the preservation of Renaissance music and art more than the creation of new stuff, and over time redirect, redirect all grants there? Or decide that they don’t want to support human art at all and fund AI projects instead because they sincerely believe this is the future of art?

      Or am I thinking about this wrong, and the main purpose of a family foundation is the tax advantages, getting the family name out, maintaining a common enterprise, etc.?

  6. PayRaven*

    Hey folks! I’m great at “office-ese”: tactfully explaining my problems and ideas in a way that makes the audience think they’re THEIR problems and ideas, artfully playing dumb in a way that moves conversations forward, and working subtly toward the outcome I want while maintaining relationships. Hit me up for ideas and translations!

    1. ThinMint*

      I like direct answers and work with leadership who like to say a lot without saying much. How do I push for more concrete answers? Is this the artfully playing dumb part? A few are mansplainers and my pride so far hasn’t wanted me to play dumb to be further mansplained.

      1. PayRaven*

        Oh, man, do I ever feel this! (Woman-shaped person in tech here!) But yes, this is where playing artfully dumb can be your best friend. Think of it as handling a toddler, or a small furry animal. They’re expressing themselves in the way they know how, and it’s your responsibility to deduce the information you need from their arcane ways.

        A good one for talky leadership is performing listening (also actually listening, but that doesn’t sound like an issue here).

        Leader: blah to blah le blah technical thing that’s almost the answer you need but it’s unclear, blah de blah de blah fluff blah!

        You: Oh, that makes a lot of sense! So in that case, [specific clarifying question, in a tone that makes it sound like you’re building on the previous point rather than routing around it]?

        Leader: Blah de blah, once again ALMOST the answer, fluffle blah de blorb!

        You: I see, I see. And so then [restate the point to make it even more specific]?

        It’s the same principle as in emergency medicine, where if you tell someone “bring me the ointment and the sutures,” and they just bring you the ointment, you just say “thanks, now can you bring me the sutures?” Did they miss something? Yes. Is dwelling on that going to get you the result you need? Nope!

        And then if you have the ability, sending a written followup that expresses understanding and enthusiasm (but also confirms key details that you need to move forward) is always a good move.

        1. Plate of Wings*

          Well said, it sounds like we have similar strengths and careers, but you worded this so well.

          Playing artfully dumb is a useful way to get people to be clearer, more direct, and more honest. It just removes some of the friction at work sometimes.

          That said, I acknowledge that not everyone can “afford” to play a little dumb. I am not concerned about anyone doubting my expertise, and I don’t need to draw lines in the sand to ensure respect. But for people newer to the workforce without the privilege of reputation, standing, and proven expertise, it can feel awful to give that kind of ground for the sake of relationships.

          I think everyone should try being a little extra gracious, patient, and forgiving at work, but if it feels like too much emotional labor that makes sense to me too.

        2. Tea*

          I’m kind of confused about what a person’s shape has to do with their gender identity.

          And I don’t know that treating your coworkers like toddlers or animals (!!!) is maybe the best way to manage interpersonal dynamics in a workplace.

          1. PayRaven*

            It’s relevant because whether or not I identify as female, that’s the lens through which my colleagues generally view me, which affects our interpersonal dynamic. In a perfect world that wouldn’t be the case, but I’m doing my best in the one I live in.

            I’ve found a lot of success in reframing frustrating situations into ones that I can get through with my emotions intact, and I’m very capable of separating that dynamic from my respect for that person as a person once that interaction is done, but to each their own!

      2. Healthcare Manager*

        I’m a big fan of the below strategy

        ‘Summarise what they said, but more concisely, and use explicit language like
        Option 1 or Option 2’

        “Oh I see, so let me say it back to you to make sure I’m understanding
        Option 1 is blah blah
        Option 2 is blah blah

        And you think option 1 is better? .”

        Another example is to just start pulling numbers out of the air. People aren’t good at coming up with estimates but they are good at correcting!

        ‘Oh so how long will it take?’
        ‘Can’t say, depends on too many variables’
        ‘Okay so shall I plan for 3 months/?
        ‘No! That way too long, can be done in less than a month’

        Etc

      3. Healthcare Manager*

        Reposting as format failed:
        I’m a big fan of the below strategy
        ‘Summarise what they said, but more concisely, and use explicit language like
        Option 1 or Option 2’

        “Oh I see, so let me say it back to you to make sure I’m understanding (put emphasis on doing this for my benefit, even though it’s probably because they’re waffling)
        Option 1 is blah blah
        Option 2 is blah blah

        And you think option 1 is better? (even if you’re not sure they like option 1 better just pick one because they’ll correct you).

        Another example is to just start pulling numbers out of the air. People aren’t good at coming up with estimates but they are good at correcting!

        ‘Oh so how long will it take?’
        ‘Can’t say depends on too many variables’
        ‘Okay so shall I plan for 3 months? (completely random time)’
        ‘No! That way too long, can be done in less than a month’

        Etc

    2. Mel*

      If you can recommend ways to make IT contractors care about the extremely niche analysis software that’s critical to my team’s roles…that would be great. (they have not factored it into system upgrades, won’t install updates without a whole campaign, occasionally removed write access to our working folders…)

      1. PayRaven*

        Woooooo doing a version of this right now. This is the art of translating your problems into their problems.

        The specifics of this are going to depend on what “their problems” are–what are their metrics, and what are they genuinely accountable for? What does their boss care about? (This can be tricky with contractors, but there’s always something.) It sounds like “my team is blocked” isn’t on their radar, so this might be as simple as translating “my team is blocked” into something with numbers. “Every time this software breaks, we lose $X thousand dollars in potential revenue/working time” can be a really strong one if you can get to a convincing number.

        Basically, this is similar to Alison’s advice in a lot of work settings: make it more of a problem for them to NOT act than it would be to act.

        1. PayRaven*

          If you can’t lock on to their actual metrics, then the fall back is “Be politely but persistently REALLY, REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING every time this happens.” Be the malicious compliance of documenting the history of this same daggum ticket.

          1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

            That was me as a project manager, annoying people into doing things they were meant to do. Usually, by cheerfully reminding people about things they were supposed to (or committed to) doing on a regular basis until they did the thing.

        2. Mel*

          the business case sounds promising – I hadn’t considered it because we’re such a small team, but when you factor in the cost of contractors that would have to replace us, plus the indirect threat of not being able to prove our company meets Regulations that might be something.

          1. PayRaven*

            it might not be a GOOD thing, but when it comes right down to it, money is the language that everybody speaks. Good luck!

      2. PayRaven*

        I typed you a long answer and I think it might have gotten caught in the oubliette, but don’t worry, I’m checking back to see if I need to come back to you!

      3. Azure Jane Lunatic*

        When your team can’t do something because of IT shenanigans, start by following the IT process for doing whatever, and then make sure that your manager knows that the specific blocker for your team’s deliverable is the software, and that we are currently waiting on IT to do X, Y, and Z. Make sure that your manager can view the ticket if possible. IT tends to get very excited about solving problems when layers of your management start talking to layers of their management. Especially with a nice project management layout of the consequences if IT does not fix things by a specific date.

        It might also be interesting to keep a running tally of the person-hours of your team’s wasted time, both in having to follow up at IT, and in not being able to do your work.

        When a company I was at was having IT problems, it really brought a lot of departments together, with the common cause of dealing with those problems. If you’re having this problem with IT, which other teams are having similar problems? Can you band together to get all your managers involved?

    3. DisneyChannelThis*

      This has happened to me a couple times now with a specific guy, he says to do it ABC way, then once its finished demands to know why we did ABC way and that going forward XYZ way is best. I’ve tried gently pointing out that my understanding was he said ABC way and that’s why I did it ABC but I’ll happily do XYZ now. Only for the XYZ result to be met with why arent we doing ABC way. It drives me nuts!

      1. Berlina*

        Did you ask for clarification in writing? Even if you just quickly summarize a talk and mail it as “FYI, please respond until x if there was a misunderstanding”.

      2. PayRaven*

        There are two things going on here: This Guy and the work you need to do for him.

        This Guy probably is the way he is. There’s probably not a lot you can do to change that. So we’ll focus on getting what we need around him.

        First, as Berlina mentioned already, getting written confirmation is your BEST of best friends. This is also a great opportunity for some of that artfully-playing-dumb: this miscommunication has happened before. You and I both know that it was his fault, but that’s not a detail that helps us here, so we’ll discard it.

        The next time you start work for him and he says to do it ABC way, send an email to the tune of “Hey, just confirming I understand–we want it to be done ABC, correct? Would hate to have to redo it again.” The tone you’re going for is warm, straightforward, and trusting that of COURSE we all want to get it right the first time.

        Sometimes this Type of Guy will bristle at being made to put their thoughts in writing. This is usually because they know they’re full of shit. You can decide how much it’s worth it to you to follow up until you get some kind of confirmation one way or the other.

        If he once more does you dirty and says, after AB and part of C are done, “Why isn’t this XYZ way?” then you have that email to point to, but you can also do the advanced move, which is, wide-eyed and serious, “Can you help me understand your thought process for when this should be ABC vs. XYZ? I want to be able to do this right [i.e. stop having this conversation with you ever again],” again followed up with a confirmation in writing.

        If all else fails, you’ve got a paper trail to bring to your or his boss.

        1. Cut short for time*

          What if my boss is doing this, and a paper trail is met with “we need to adapt on the fly/to changing circumstances”? I really would live to find a way as the semi-team lead to stop having to do everything in a rush because she can’t stick to a plan and comes up with a completely new approach at the eleventh hour.

          1. PayRaven*

            Step 1: Take some time to howl at the moon. It’s okay, you’ve earned it.

            Step 2: If you can find a way to articulate the real, tangible costs of switching at the last minute, that’s probably going to be your most persuasive asset. Think in terms of lost work (you know roughly people’s salaries and how many hours they spent, that’s a dollar amount!), opportunity cost (if we didn’t lose all that time, what else could we achieve?), and context switching. If you can make a case for producing a worse product because of the rush without throwing yourself under the bus, do that too.

            Step 3: Sometimes circumstances really do change, in a way that means the work has to change. (You and I both know that it’s not as off as your boss makes it out to be, but the possibilitiy exists.) You MIGHT be able to have a chat with her at the beginning of a project, in a hat of “work projection and risk management”, to say, “Given that we’ve seen in the past that sometimes things can happen to make us change tack, what should we be looking out for on this one?” It’s likely that she’s not thinking that far ahead, but asking the question will let her know that you’ve accepted the possibility and that you’re on the lookout for it, and will put her on notice that you’ve identified the pattern. And you might even get to plan in advance for a last-minute shift, which would be a fun bonus.

            But if you have that conversation, she says “Don’t worry, nothing will come up,” and then it’s day 11 of 14 and SOMETHING HAS COME UP, fall back on those numbers. You’re not telling her not to do it: you’re explaining the real costs of switching gears, including as many hard numbers as possible.

          2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

            Could you consider not rushing at the 11th hour? Like, if she wants to change stuff when it’s super late, that means that timelines might / will get missed. Do your best, but don’t make yourselves miserable trying to pull off miracles. She’s been able to do this because it has worked out for her so far.

            Is there any opportunity to do a more detailed options analysis on projects in the early stages?

      3. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        You might want to look at project management tools, since a major part of that role is documenting things. For smaller projects where a light touch on the PMing makes sense, I’ve ended up making a decisions log in Excel and sharing it on my screen during meetings, where we edit it in real time.

        The basic log has columns for what the issue is, what the decision is, the date the decision was made, whether the issue is open/closed, who approved the decision, etc.

        So, for example:
        Issue: are we going to use an off-the-shelf piece of software or build a tool ourselves.
        Decision: Build it ourselves
        Decision Date: 4/11/2024
        Rationale: Off-the-shelf would take too much effort to modify, concerns about data privacy.
        Decisionmaker: Serge and Catherine
        Status: CLOSED

    4. Banana Pyjamas*

      Reading your comments has been illuminating and reaffirming. How do you get past the initial ego response of I shouldn’t have to dumb myself down/demean myself for others.

      1. PayRaven*

        It can definitely be tricky! Especially if you’re in any kind of minority or disadvantaged group in your space (which I think correlates with needing to use these tactics).

        But I really do think of it as handling a toddler or a small furry animal. I’m an adult trying to do a job, and I need certain information and want to see certain outcomes. I need to navigate a communication style that doesn’t make intuitive sense to me, and that means modifying my own communication style to meet them in the middle.

        I also think of it as a performance. This isn’t the purest expression of “me”–this is the character I’m playing for a specific reason. It’s not a betrayal of myself to use words and tone and repetition in a way I’m not intuitively inclined to; it’s just a series of choices, and I’ve had good results from making them. My “worksona” has many faces.

        I’ve also had the good fortune of having other avenues at work to show competence and build my brand, and I work in a culture that really values asking questions when you don’t know something, so I will openly admit that I don’t have the same unspoken reputational risk from strategically playing dumb that someone in a tighter environment might, but if you’re getting good results, that’ll usually balance itself out.

      2. Cyborg Llama Horde*

        For me, it’s about priorities. Do I care more about being right/showing that I’m right/not “giving in” to Joe Obnoxious/whatever pride in involved in “demean myself,” or do I care that the work is done, correctly and efficiently, the first time?

        I think there’s also value in interrogating the “dumb down” idea. That sounds like on some level, being the incomprehensible subject matter expert is valuable to you. Why? Is it an idea of what “competent” looks like? Is it being a stickler for correct terminology? Is whatever is causing that impulse more important than communicating with your colleagues?

        To me, reducing friction in my work interactions is almost always worth it. Should I have to put each of my three questions in bold, with bullet points, and reiterate three times that I need answers to all of them? No. But if taking five extra minutes to format my initial email will eliminate a ten- or twenty-message back-and-forth in order to get answers, I will absolutely do it, because it makes the work overall easier, and minimizes the time I spend being annoyed by people I have limited patience for.

        1. Banana Pyjamas*

          I have been told verbatim to “dumb it down”, “play stupid”, and “pretend you don’t know”. So that’s where the language comes from. It feels very demeaning to be told that, especially as a 19 year old woman from a 40-something man. It was disheartening to hear from more seasoned women in my 20s. Now in my 30s I see some value, but struggle with how it was previously presented.

          A lot of PayRaven’s explanations have really helped reframe that, and it’s reaffirming that I already started doing some of those things on my own.

          I don’t consider myself a subject-matter expert, so I think my frustration also comes from being told that when discussing basic concepts. I switched to bullet emails years ago, but I will try bold too. I struggle with to get past the shouldn’t have to, but I think reframing it as spending less time being annoyed could be helpful. It’s like eating the yucky food first so the good part of the meal is more enjoyable.

          1. PayRaven*

            The “I shouldn’t HAVE to” thing is so real. I’ve found a lot of liberation in affirming to myself: you’re right! I shouldn’t have to. But I can either spend a lot of time and annoyance waiting for other people to be better, or I can manage my energy and time right now, and I know which one is going to pay off first.

    5. Miette*

      Strategies for dealing with a ceo who has nothing but criticism for work he asked for but failed to provide clear or specific direction on?

      1. PayRaven*

        With a CEO there’s the unfortunate reality that you just might not have any power in that situation. These tactics only work on a roughly-peer-level playing field.

        You can fall back on flattery to some extent, or really doubling down on the “I just want to make sure that I don’t make the same mistake [trusting you to tell me things if they’re important] again messaging (maybe incorporating some of the “Here’s what money we lost on rework/whatever tangible effects the lack of clarity will have” from other answers, but unfortunately, CEOs gonna operate how they’re gonna operate.

      2. Banana Pyjamas*

        I experienced this, and a couple of false starts to major projects.

        The first thing is understanding sometimes people don’t actually know what they want or can’t correctly express what they want.

        The second is that you can take preventive measures, but they won’t always works. At the end of the day, mind-changers are mind-changers.

        Ask a lot of questions in the meeting for the start of the project.

        Confirm you have the answer to each question, then write it down.

        Once you confirm what they want: here’s how I think we can do that, what would you prefer.

        Okay so just to verify, you want me to… let me write that down. This might seem excessive but they often add additional wants or clarification with this prompt.

        When they ask if there’s anything else: just to review you want me to x,y,z. You’d be shocked how often they tell you to do the opposite of what you confirmed. Then I reiterate you asked me for x, do you want x or a.

        Rinse and repeat until all of your action items are confirmed.

    6. anon for this one*

      Ooo please help. How can people (me and many others) politely express the obvious in this recurring situations.

      Tl:DR – how to professionally tell grand bosses, we see what you did there. Well played, now own it and we get to work. And we keep our jobs. Basically, your butts sit in the big leather chairs, own your decisions and let’s get to work without pretending otherwise.

      The grand bosses at the big central office are starting major projects. They will start the planning in the last 3 months of the year (for this company). This means getting ‘stakeholder’ input so the projects can all start with a bang with the new company year.

      Everyone has deadlines and other projects they have to meet before the year’s end. Thus, many stakeholders and lama experts cannot be part of these initial feedback meetings followed by weekly meetings for many of these projects. More people in the central office can.

      Grand bosses and great grand bosses keep asking for more meetings and times and volunteers. They also make snarky comments about “Hey office-in-the-boonies, you need to get your people to step up because we are giving them a chance to have a voice.” (the “step up” was said, “come to the table and participate,” “prioritize these initiatives”).

      Those same people from the boonies gave them feedback about the kick off timing, time commitments and of course the projects they have to finish before the end of the year. The responses are “we considered it, here we are.”

      Note that the work is often volunteer or in addition to the other work for those stakeholders. If we find a few experts available in the remote offices, they still have to meet their lama grooming targets or get paid less. The central office people get time and project management, etc. Even if the experts could make the meetings, the frequency and schedule requires a lot of work for those offices to cover with others. A hot mess scheduling.

      I and others are looking for a professional way to state:
      1. We gave you feedback on the timeline and limitations.
      2. You big bosses and central office chose these frequent meeting times and the projects times anyway.
      3. It looks like you don’t want our input at the other offices. Maybe because it is too hard to get that input. Or costs too much. That is ok. No hard feelings.
      4. What is not ok is call it “input by all the offices and experts near and far.” Don’t make us pretend you are getting input from anywhere but the central office. It hurts to lie at work and see it over and over again. It also turns good experts against the initiatives (which by themselves are actually good). We would rather be commanded than pretended. And your projects may have more success that way.

      Big bosses make decisions. Own it.

      1. PayRaven*

        This might be one for the big blog, as there’s a lot going on here and some of it is outside my competency sphere, but let me see if I can break down what I see. We’ve got:

        1. Central office vs. satellite office dynamics
        2. Differing incentives across stakeholder groups
        3. Lip service that’s coming off as offensive to the less-enfranchised groups

        What levers you actually have to affect this are going to really depend on what channels of communication and relationships you have with the big bosses and central office. It kind of sounds like you…don’t really have this, but in the event that you do, you could try to ask explicitly about what how people in the central office make time for this, framing it as “We’d love to be more involved, of course we’re very passionate about this stuff, so what have you all figured out to make it work that we simply haven’t yet?”

        The goal here isn’t to get advice (which we already know probably won’t apply to your situation), but to flush out what assumptions the big bosses have about the kind of time commitment and relative priority of this planning work are. If you have those concrete details, you can then go back in with specific questions “clarifying” (making it clear why those answers don’t work for you). You might also find out something interesting, like everyone in the central office is actually working a ton of unpaid overtime to make this happen, or it’s unspoken but common for other things to slip during this period.

        But if you’d made your case as directly as you can and it hasn’t worked then…yeah, your big bosses aren’t willing to accommodate you more. That sucks, AND IT’S OKAY TO BE GRUMPY ABOUT THAT. For all that you have a “no hard feelings” theme in your question, those ARE hard feelings, and that’s fine! Owning that might help you move to the “eye-rolling” phase of your life with these particular bosses. But if you’re letting this stuff turn experts against initiatives that you admit ARE good…those are hard feelings. Again, it’s okay to have those, and pretending you don’t is probably using up energy that would be better spent elsewhere.

        Another thing to remember is that from their perspective, all the offices and experts near and far DID have the opportunity to give input, and some of them actually did! They’re not seeing the missed opportunities from your side. They’re just not. All they’re seeing is the input that actually comes in. Again, roll your eyes, try to take their wording a little less literally.

        Re: “we would rather be commanded than pretended:” they ARE commanding you. This is just how they’re doing it. They’re also using rhetorical tactics to try to maintain relationships with their employees. It’s misfiring for your group, and that’s the last line of feedback you can attempt to give: “Hey, I know this isn’t the intent, but all this verbiage about ‘experts near and far’ really hits differently in the outer offices, where we’d really like to be participating more, but have been stymied by all the issues we’ve previously given you feedback on.”

    7. RandomED*

      How do I convince my board of directors to put more effort into financial and legal oversight? They are smart, but they are volunteers without much experience. I’ve tried the following: asking them to create structures for oversight, asking them to reach out to experts for advice, asking them to do training/research on how board oversight works, and explaining the risks of a lack of oversight (to the org and themselves personally). The responses have ranged from interested to apathetic to somewhat defensive—last year, our previous executive director lost a bunch of money right under their noses, and they don’t like to hear any implications that perhaps that was, in part, their own failure.

      In short, I’d like them to do the work (in accordance with how the power dynamic works), but they respond best when I do the work and simply hand them the solutions. They have put in lots of work when it was urgently needed or when they feel strongly about something. For context, my board is mostly tech professionals with project and people management experience.

      1. PayRaven*

        I think you’re going to have to get really clear with yourself about how much work you’re willing to do, first of all. If “if we don’t take action, RandomED will take care of it for us” is an option, they are simply never incentivized to change tactics. So that’s step one.

        Step two is release the idea of whose fault it was. You know and I know, but that’s not a detail that helps us, so we’ll discard it. Treat it entirely as a future-looking exercise: of course WE would hate for something like this to ever happen again, so we’re simply determining what we need to put in place for it to happen.

        When you’ve explained the risks, how tangible and personal have you made them? You might have to go one level deeper than whatever you said that wasn’t getting a good response. You have to turn generic “problems” into “things they can envision as problems for them, specifically.”

        If they’re generally smart folks, you can also lean on the messaging of “I think you’d be the right person/group to help us figure out how to move forward.” Put aside their past failures and give them the opportunity to do well (with your guiding hand).

        Does that help?

        1. RandomED*

          “ Step two is release the idea of whose fault it was. You know and I know, but that’s not a detail that helps us, so we’ll discard it.”

          That’s helpful framing. I think what is happening is they are hearing my calls for more oversight as an indictment of their past mistakes, which is not my goal at all. So, I need to figure out how to frame this without triggering that. If you have any tips/scripts, would love to hear them.

          “ You have to turn generic “problems” into ‘things they can envision as problems for them, specifically.’”

          I need to ruminate more on this! Maybe I can leverage the problems they do care about (eg having too much work on their plate, losing other board members) and connect those to how better oversight will help solve them.

          Thanks so much for your help!

    1. The Prettiest Curse*

      Oh, and also:
      – Event vendors – bidding out and contracting for event services.
      – Negotiating dietary requirements with caterers.

    2. badger*

      What’s the best way to seek event sponsorship? How do you go about starting that from scratch? What’s your top tips?

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        I really enjoy working with sponsors, but ran out of time to write an answer tonight. Please check back tomorrow for a complete guide (and the continuation of my guide to event planning below.)

      2. The Prettiest Curse*

        Prepare for a giant wall of text with all my knowledge on sponsorship. ;)

        Sponsor outreach is one of the first things you should do after scheduling your event date and venue. If you haven’t implemented a sponsor programme before, it can be a bit daunting, so it’s better to start simple and then ramp up for subsequent events.

        The first thing to do is research. Identify which similar events in your area have sponsors, what kind of sponsor opportunities they offer and how much they charge.You can often find sponsor brochures on event websites – if not, sign up for email updates on an event, as sponsor information will often be sent out via email.

        If you can’t locate their sponsor brochure, look at the type of companies who are sponsoring the event (this would be on their event website or brochure) and what the sponsor levels are called. Common sponsor level names include: Platinum / Gold / Silver / Bronze and Presenting/ Supporting / Contributing / Exhibiting. In these examples, Platinum or Presenting would be the top-level (most expensive) sponsorships. If your competitor events are very similar and at the same time of year as your event, you probably won’t want to approach their sponsors for a similar type of sponsorship, as companies may have restrictions on how much they will spend in a specific area or for a certain type of event. However, there’s no harm in asking, as you never know if there’s money sloshing around in the marketing budget.

        After you’ve done your research, work out what you want to offer sponsors. It’s probably best to start with 3 levels of sponsorship at most, as companies will be looking at how the levels differ in prices and benefits. If you’re starting a new sponsor programme, you’ll want to price your sponsor levels slightly below the equivalent levels at your competitor events so that companies will be willing to give you a chance. For example: if your rival conference charges £1,000 for an exhibiting sponsorship and attracts 300 attendees and your event attracts 300-400, you should charge around £800 for your equivalent sponsor level, so that their marketing staff will look at your brochure or sell sheet and realise that your event has more attendees and is cheaper. You can raise prices in subsequent years – companies often sponsor a lot of events and may not remember how much they paid the previous year.

        Next, you should put together a sponsor brochure (sometimes called a sell sheet.) This doesn’t have to look nice (though bonus points if it does) – it can be a Word document outlining the benefits of each sponsor level and with some information about the event. If you have great photos from a previous event or nice quotes you can pull from attendee evaluations (example: “This is the best llama grooming conference in the tri-state area. The networking opportunities are excellent! – 2023 attendee), add them in. The minimum information your sponsor brochure should include is:
        – Brief description of your event and some effusive language about how delighted you are to be launching a sponsor programme.
        – Information on how many people attend your event and any relevant information about attendees.
        – Sponsor packages (see below)
        – Contact email for more information.
        If you have enough attendee data to make a pie chart showing attendee breakdown, add that in too.

        Example attendee info: Every year, the Lovely Health Professionals Conference is attended by 300-400 health professionals.The majority of attendees (60%) are nurses, and the event also attracts doctors (20% of attendees), clinical social workers (10%) and other health professionals such as occupational therapists and lactation consultants (10%). The event predominately attracts attendees from the Greater London area (55%), but a significant percentage are from Hampshire (15%), Surrey (15%) and Bedfordshire (10%), with the remainder from other areas of the UK.

        Then outline your sponsor benefits and pricing.
        This is an example of what a sponsor might get in a top-level package:
        Presenting Sponsor – £10,000
        1 available
        Logo banner placement on event stage
        Full page advertisement in event brochure
        Logo recognition on event website, in event brochure, event signage and additional event materials
        2 giveaway items in attendee giveaway bag or virtual bag
        3 social media recognition posts pre-event and 3 social media recognition posts after the event.
        Exhibit booth in (whatever area of your event venue attracts the most foot traffic)
        3 free delegate tickets, plus 20% discount on additional tickets
        2 places at invitation-only VIP reception

        At the lowest level, companies will get a lot less than this – often just logo recognition and an exhibit booth, which may be in a less well-trafficked part of the venue.

        The most important things to do when writing sponsor packages are:
        1. NEVER promise anything to a sponsor that you can’t deliver. If you say they get a meet and greet with Oprah, they get a meet and greet with Oprah. (If circumstances make something you promised impossible, ask the sponsor what they want instead, then deliver it.)
        This is because some companies have pushy and/or charming marketing staff who will try to convince you to deliver more than you promised. Also, if you can’t deliver something you promised, this will upset the sponsor and it’s entirely possible they won’t sponsor again or they’ll ask for a refund.
        And:
        2.Be very, very clear about what you are giving them and what they are giving you.

        Regarding 1: managing and communicating with sponsors once they have signed up needs to be in somebody’s job description. Try not to spread this task between multiple people, otherwise the sponsor may end up getting inconsistent or wrong information.

        Once you’ve put together your packages, identify potential sponsors and send out your information. This is where you mine your contact list as much as possible. If you work for a non-profit, your fundraisers can help you here.

        A lot of companies will have money left in their marketing budgets at the end of the year, so that’s often the best time to send out sponsor information. For example, the big annual conference that I plan is held in June/July. For the 2024 event, we sent out sponsor information in November 2023 and secured several sponsors before the end of the year.

        Look at your list of companies sponsoring your competitor events – are there similar local companies you can approach? The most appropriate person to contact will usually be someone in the marketing department. If you already have relationships with an organisation, you can just ask your contact(s) over there if they would be interested. Make sure that you are putting information about sponsorships on your website, promotional materials and in your event emails. Often companies will see that you’re offering sponsorships and ask for a brochure, so you may not even need to approach people too much, especially if your event or organisation is well-known in your area. You may want to have a target list of companies to ask for sponsorships to help to narrow it down.
        Also, you do NOT need to be a sales person to sell sponsorships – I am very much not! But don’t be scared to follow up with your leads a couple of times after sending the brochure to see if they have questions or are interested.

        You can also offer in-kind sponsorships – this is the type of sponsorship where no money changes hands. I don’t have direct experience of putting these packages together, but the fundraising walk events I used to help with would often approach a company to ask for food or drinks (so: 3000 protein bars or 5000 bottles of water.) Companies will often have information on their website on how to contact them to request this type of donation. You may need to follow up a few times to get a response. Sometimes in-kind donations can also be part of a larger sponsor agreement.

        Depending on the type of event, you can also offer media sponsorships – again, I don’t have experience of these, but local TV channels in the US sometimes do these as part of community benefits, so they will do a brief news piece on your event and send one of their news anchors along to be the emcee. Local magazines or newspapers may also be willing to run a piece about your event if you distribute free copies to your attendees.

        Once you have confirmed a sponsorship, get a contract in place before you announce the sponsor. This doesn’t need to be complicated (our contract is less than 2 pages) – it just needs to outline the benefits, give your organisation the right to use their logo and say how much they will pay you. You can also include items such as setting up and removing their exhibit booth within a specific time frame or a payment schedule if it’s a big sponsorship. Make sure it gets signed by both organisations and have the contract template reviewed by someone with legal or contracts knowledge before sending if your organisation doesn’t have a standard sponsor agreement that you can adapt.

        Finally, if you need examples of sponsor brochures, ideas for sponsor packages, sponsor level names for specific industries etc., plug it into the search engine of your choice because there are a lot of good ideas out there.

        I hope this was useful, and good luck!

        1. kanzeon*

          I have no current need to do this but this writeup is so interesting and helpful- I’m going to save it just in case! Thank you!

    3. Mel*

      I’d like to arrange some hobby-related parties/socials for high-risk folks that are still staying covid safe. What’s the best approach at this point?

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        Honestly, the only truly safe option is to do them virtually. But I have organised (and attended) a few large events in the summer and not caught Covid. If there has to be an indoor element, limit the number of people in the room and allow for plenty of spacing. So if your event is for 25-30 people, you might want to hold it in a room that can accommodate 100+ people. You should have an outdoor break area (at minimum), ventilate any indoor areas as much as possible and/or use air purifiers. For catering, either have boxed/bagged lunches or tell people they should bring their own food and drink.

        However, the best option is to do it outdoors and rent a big marquee if you have a lot of people. Summer is (obviously) peak marquee rental season, so you may have to pay through the nose, if you can find one at this time of year. (If you want to rent a big marquee for a summer event, they are often sold out by the end of March/early April. Same with outdoor furniture rental. You are competing with weddings.)

        If you have a smaller number of people, you could probably borrow, rent or buy a pop-up tent. If your event is in a park, they will often allow this type of tent if they don’t exceed a certain size.

        Also, ask the people you are inviting what they would be comfortable doing so you can gauge how likely they would be to attend in the scenarios outlined above. I hope this helps, and good luck!

      2. Alice*

        I love your idea!
        There are Covid cautious people who take different levels of precautions, so I think it’s important to communicate clearly and without implying that specific people are too lax or too strict. What’s important is saying, “this is the approach we are taking at this event – if that works for you, we’d love to have you.”
        Everything that the Prettiest Curse said is good – it’s all about clean air. Also, you could think about explicitly articulating expectations for participants. Don’t come to the event if you have symptoms? If you have a known exposure within X time period? Mask in all indoor public spaces for a period of time before the event? Use a rapid test before the event? Being clear about that will help participants decide whether it’s a good fit for them.
        Finally – we used to have picnics or go punting or bike riding or whatever before the pandemic, and they are still fun group activities that can be very Covid safe! You’ll be able to plan some great events, I’m sure!

    4. Caroline*

      Where do you start with planning an event?
      For more context: I have to deliver an event with multiple moving parts across different sites. It’s a one day event, and I have a date.
      But now I’m a bit stuck on where to start – is there a best practice for where to begin?

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        This might be a tricky one if you haven’t done a multi-venue event before. I always advise people who don’t have much event planning experience to start with a small and simple event and then do something more complicated.

        It sounds like you have your venues set already. You’ll want to find out as much about the venues as you can – if you’re not already familiar with it, schedule an introductory call with your venue contact and follow up with an in-person site visit (if you’re local) or have your local staff person do it if it’s not within easy travel distance.
        Questions to ask your venue/things to consider:

        – Do they have in-house catering and AV services? If not, do they have a list of preferred or required vendors you can use? Do you have to pay a venue fee if you’re not using in-house services? (Hotels generally make you use their in-house services. Some venues will obtain quotes and contract with vendors on your behalf, but they charge you a fee to do it.)

        – If your event has a hybrid element, get as many details as you can about their hybrid meeting capabilities.

        – Do a walk-through of all the spaces you will use for your event, as if you were an attendee. Is there anything which might require extra signage, such as a weird bathroom layout? Does the venue provide extra signage or have rules about bringing your own?

        – Do they have wi-fi for event staff and attendees? If so, how is it accessed? (Hotels will sometimes charge, so make sure it’s included in your contract if you’ll need it.)

        – What are the parking and transit options for attendees? Do they offer validated or discounted parking? If a lot of attendees will be cycling to the event, do they have bike racks or bike storage?

        – How do they handle dietary requirements? When is the last day to get them the attendee head count for catering.

        – Do they have a private space (preferably with a lockable door) which can be used as a staff break area and for storage of valuables? If attendees will be staying in hotels the night before the event, is there somewhere they can store their luggage during the event? (Often hotels will allow people to store luggage at the front desk.)

        I have to log off for a bit now, will continue later!

    5. Nekussa*

      I have volunteered to organize a local festival for several years, but it’s not what I do for a living. If I ever decided to change careers, would such informal experience be valuable? Is there a lot of learning on the job, or are there formal study programs for event planners?

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        I don’t hire staff, but yes, this experience is valuable and you could definitely list it as events experience on your resume or cover letter.

        There are industry associations that offer training and certifications (here in the UK, it is the MIA – Meetings Industry Association), but I think around 90% of people in the industry (including me and the rest of my small department) have no formal training and basically fell into doing it. Nothing will teach you about planning and coordinating an event like actually doing it!

        Having any kind of background in an area where you really have to plan in advance, meet deadlines and Get Stuff Done is probably the most useful background. (My supervisor and I both have backgrounds in the performing arts.) Event planning and coordination is not very well-paid on the nonprofit/higher education side (which is where my experience lies), but I imagine it’s better compensated on the corporate side. You also have to sometimes work long and unsocial hours, but in my case that’s only for around 10 weeks of the year and things are less intense at other times.

        Best of luck if you do decide to change career!

      2. Banana Pyjamas*

        Some community colleges in the U.S. offer certificate programs for event planning. Often these will be at the back of the course catalogue because they are offered through third party partners.

      3. Miette*

        Here in the US there is a certification: Certified Meeting Professional, which is useful to have though not necessarily for an entry level position. You can google about it and learn a lot more about the “art and science” of meeting and event planning from a self-directed learning perspective. A lot of vendor blogs have free content around this as well–you could start there.

  8. MI Dawn*

    I work in health insurance in the US. While some things are state/company specific, if anyone has a “how do I” question, I’ll be happy to answer!

    1. Health Insurance Woes*

      My husband (who carries our health insurance) was just laid off last Friday. We’re covered through April 30. Is there a way to figure out if we should get Cobra, use marketplace…or what. We’re fortunate that any prescriptions would be just about as cheap using GoodRx, so I’m not too worried about that. But the last time he was laid off (right at the beginning of Covid :-( It took 9 months for him to find a job.
      The company I work for is so small it doesn’t offer health insurance so that’s not an option.

      1. Garblesnark*

        i am not the person you asked! but if I may, your hubby’s former employer will send you a COBRA letter with a form that you can fill out and send back with a check to get COBRA. COBRA is retroactive. While you are deciding, fill out the form and the check, put it on your fridge or another comparable obvious place in a stamped addressed envelope, and tell everyone you trust with a key to your home to mail the letter if you are in the ICU. You have at least 30 days from your spouse’s term date to decide what you will do, but that window will start to feel really narrow if you have a health crisis.

      2. hypoglycemic rage*

        I was unemployed for like 4 months earlier this year, and I could have used COBRA. but it was so expensive, I got on (IL) medicaid (medicare? I am 32) and would have gone through the marketplace had that not been an option. but it’s just me (apparently plants do not count as dependents??) and it might be different if you have an income.

        1. Banana Pyjamas*

          Similar situation here. Also when you make an application on marketplace it always goes through state Medicaid first.

    2. DottedZebra*

      I had a minor procedure that required anesthesia. I confirmed that the doctor was in network but it looks like the anesthesiologist was not. So my bill from the doctor is $120ish and the anesthesiologist was on my EOB for thousands. I thought Biden signed something recently about no surprise bills? I’m not sure how to fight this.

      1. Health Policy Staffer*

        I helped get that law (No Surprises Act) enacted! The first thing to know is that an EOB is not a bill, it’s what the provider asked your insurer to pay. If the process works like it’s supposed to, your insurer should pay an agreed upon rate and you will only be responsible for your copay/coinsurance/deductible.

        If the anesthesiologist DOES try to bill you separately, let your insurance company know. You can also tell your HR department if you have employer-sponsored insurance. Some employers also have advocacy services. And you can also report it to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/what-is-a-surprise-medical-bill-and-what-should-i-know-about-the-no-surprises-act-en-2123/

        3. Throwaway Account*

          Oh my goodness that is helpful! I’m a day late but if you see this, wow, great advice!

      2. Hannah Lee*

        I’d suggest looking at the details of your group insurance plan, to see if they have any specific language about provider billing, balance billing and what they’ll allow. It may be called out specifically in the plan documents you have, with details about what is prohibited. This will give you baseline information to explain what’s going on, such as the right terminology to describe the issue to whoever is going to look into it.

        Then follow up with both your employer’s benefits administrator and your insurance CS line. Explain what happened and ask them to look into it. (you could start with one and then move on to the other if it doesn’t seem to be getting resolved). And tell the billing office of the doctor that there may be an issue with how the claim was submitted/processed and you’re working to get it resolved.

        I’m the benefits administrator at my company, and when something like that has happened, the employee raised it to me, and I got the broker and and the group insurance company’s employer contact involved to help me and the employee gather, submit information, review the billing and claims processing, and get the provider to adjust their claims so a) the plans approved rates were applied to the service (vs an off the street rack-rate with no negotiated discount) and b) the claim was approved as an in-network claim, since the both facility and main doctor were in network providers and the employee/patient had no control over choosing the anesthesiologist who was involved in the procedure.

        What you’ll owe will likely depend on the specifics of your plan, your location, the specifics of facility, main doctor, specialists, etc. But you may find the whole thing is reduced and almost as important, it will ensure that payments towards your deductible, out-of-pocket maximum are recorded correctly so you don’t wind of paying more than you should for other services in the same plan year.

    3. Hannah Lee*

      Not so much a “how do I” question, but any experience with using a PEO set up to source a company’s group health insurance plans and other benefits?

      I manage benefits at my small private employer, and usually have several sales people pitching them every renewal period. In the past, I’d occasionally have them give a proposal, it never seemed as though the pricing justified introducing the complexity of going that way. Some of the companies offering this remind me of SOME the suppliers in the “swap out your electric provider” market ie IN THEORY what they are pitching sounds good, but in reality, there are shady things going on, and the savings or simplicity or whatever just isn’t what they are saying it will be.

      The appeal was usually the breath of options vs what we’d usually see as a small business.

      Has anyone found they worked well for them? Are there particular things to watch out for?

    4. No longer single or alone*

      How messy does it get when a child is double covered by insurance from both my husband and I? I know they’ll need to coordinate benefits for appointments, but is there anything I need to do to make things go smoothly? Or things I should be aware of?

      1. Leah*

        It’s actually not that messy to be double covered, so long as you contact both insurances and do a coordination of benefits. Once the insurances know who’s primary and who’s secondary there shouldn’t be any problems with them processing claims. Just make sure that you know who’s primary and that the medical provider knows that too do that they send claims in the correct order.

      2. Chelsea*

        I am not a health insurance expert but I have navigated double coverage for my child for the last 2 years and have learned some things.
        1. The primary insurance for the child will be determined by calendar day of each parent’s birthday. Whoever comes first in the year is primary. If your birthday is May 30 and spouse is June 15, your insurance is primary and spouse’s is secondary.
        2. You will probably have to do coordination of benefits more than once, and remind each insurance about the coordination of benefits more than once.
        3. Carefully read bills and insurance EOBs. Remind each provider about which insurance is primary, especially if it’s been a while between visits.
        4. It may take a long time for insurance to bill correctly, so don’t pay a bill you think insurance will cover. If insurance is being slow, update the provider. In my experience, the provider won’t send a bill to collections for a long time, and will make a hold note on the bill if they know insurance is processing. I had 1 bill that took 18 months to get paid properly, but it did not go to collections during that time.

        In my case, especially in the first year, I spent a lot of time on the phone with both insurance companies trying to get coordination of benefits sorted out. Now things generally bill pretty smoothly, but if we go to a new provider there are often some hiccups. For me it’s been worth the hassle and time suck in order to have our child (and us) covered at 100% with no copays, but it is definitely a time commitment.

      3. Garblesnark*

        Please look up the birthday rule and check based on this whether it is worth the additional expense.

        1. No longer single or alone*

          Thanks for the responses! This kid will have some fairly significant medical costs this year and each insurance does a better job covering different things. Thank you for the detailed advice everyone!

    5. Jonaessa*

      How do I find prices for prescriptions without calling every pharmacy? My doctor wrote me a prescription for a drug that is not covered by my insurance. I went to the medication’s website and got a savings coupon. That only brought it down to $550 at my preferred pharmacy. I can’t check prices on my insurance’s website because it’s not covered so there are no options to “search nearby” or anything. But when I called another (doctor-recommended) pharmacy, they told me they don’t contract with my insurance carrier (despite being a national carrier). When I tried to tell her that insurance wouldn’t cover it anyway, and I wanted to check the price with a savings card, she recommended I contact a pharmacy an hour away. I went back to my insurance website and did a quick chat. The support staff offered to find a pharmacy, so I thought, “YES! GREAT!” She sent me a list of all in-network pharmacies. :/ That doesn’t really help when the script isn’t covered.

      Am I not asking the right questions? Will I need to call every pharmacy? Is it better to go in with my savings card? What’s the most efficient way to find an affordable prescription?

      Thanks for any suggestions you can throw my way!

      1. hypoglycemic rage*

        i’m not the initial person, but i’ve gone on cvs and walgreen’s websites to find the cost (i do generic for meds) and if it’s not covered it should give you some estimate. i’ve also used goodrx when i was between insurances. hopefully this helps, i’ve never had a prescription not be covered by insurance though.

      3. Julia Gulia*

        Also not the OP but if you’re comfortable sharing, does this happen to be for a GLP1? The savings card and $550 is the common language of the community. If it’s the Z or the MJ, $550 is as low as it will go since your insurance doesn’t cover it at all. Th $25 advertised price assumes insurance coverage unfortunately.

        1. Jonaessa*

          You guessed it! If you are familiar with those, do you know of anything similar that my doctor could prescribe that a savings card would cover?

          Thanks for the feedback everyone!

      1. Hannah Lee*

        If you have a doctor you’re working with for treatment of whatever condition the medication would be treating, that’s a good place to start. Particularly if your insurance is through a company that is well known in your area, that practice may have already dealt with that carrier/plan and know what their plan/ formulary guidelines are for that prescription drug and what is needed to get something approved, which will make the process easier for you. That will also likely be the person who will need to justify it to the insurance carrier to get authorization if it’s not something that’s part of their standard formulary authorized treatment options.

        If you want to dig into it, you can look through the insurance plan’s formulary (PDL – prescription drug list) which will give information on what drugs are “standard” for what conditions, what payment tiers they fall in, and also have guidelines for what needs to happen to get other stuff approved. For example some require the doctor/patient to try A and B and C cheaper options before going to more expense option D. Or you may find that the medication you think would be good is not approved by them for condition M that you were focused on, but it is approved for condition P which you also have. Or that while the one drug you were looking for isn’t covered, but there is a near equivalent that is, that your doctor can write for an skip all the “special approval” and “extra expense” stuff.

        1. Azure Jane Lunatic*

          Sometimes if the insurance company says “you must try A, B, and C” it does not mean that you must do A, B, and C again, if you have already done those the last time. If you’ve tried A, B, and C in the past, have your doctor write a letter stating that you’ve tried those already. Sometimes that works.

    7. Jane Anonsten*

      How do I figure out if I can get my insurance to cover the cost of therapy? Who do I call, what do I ask? Both kids are diagnosed as neurodiverse (different flavors) and one of them is in need in my opinion; I also see one because I am a full-time working parent in the year 2024 and she helps keep me from putting on banana pants.

      1. your friendly local therapist*

        Not the OP but therapist here who helps people navigate insurance! Two relatively easy options: you can call your insurer and ask what your behavioral health coverage is, or you can look on your plan’s schedule of benefits. Generally speaking, if the clinician is in-network, coverage works one of two ways: either you’ll have a flat copay (say, $30) every session, or you’ll have to meet your deductible first and then coverage will kick in. If the therapist is NOT in-network, you still might have some coverage – in that case, the question to ask is “what are my out-of-network behavioral health benefits?” In that situation, what will typically happen is you’ll pay the therapist’s full fee (say, $175) and submit what’s called a superbly to your insurer, who will then reimburse you for whatever your plan covers (so if they cover 50%, you’ll get $87.50 back).

    9. Space Coyote*

      Do you have a license? I’m currently studying for the Colorado state exam for life and health and I’m interested in general advice from anyone with recent experience with a state exam (not necessarily CO).

      I might be freaking out a bit because my brain. is. full. of vocabulary @_@

      1. MI Dawn*

        For my position, I have to have a health care practitioner’s licence (MD, RN, etc). But there are a lot of company positions that don’t require one. Not familiar with state exams except the NCLEX (RN exam) which I took too many years ago. My child became a RN about 5 years ago and also took the NCLEX exam. They studied hard but said the exam wasn’t too bad because they studied.

        I apologize if that doesn’t answer what you asked!

        1. Space Coyote*

          Ah, in my case I work for a broker in employee benefits, so I’m studying for an insurance license. Thank you so much for answering!

    10. I'm usually smart enough, but not smart enough for this*

      I’ve been on my husband’s insurance but I just got a new job (yay!) and need to figure out whose is a better plan. Staying on his is cheaper per paycheck, but their description of benefits are just different enough that I can’t figure out which one would be cheaper over time/better if emergency strikes.

      I’m fairly healthy, so most of what I need is regular therapy, an annual checkup, and maybe 1-2 specialists a year, but I haven’t been able to find a calculator or something similar to add it all up.

      Any suggestions?

      1. MI Dawn*

        Oh, that’s always a tough one, because what works for one couple may not work for another. A few questions to look at: Most plans have to cover preventative care (annual exams, mammograms, colonoscopies, etc) at 100% paid, with nothing out of your pocket. Other services may have a deductible/copays/coinsurance that you have to cover. So, in your case:

        1. Does either plan have just copays (a set amount to pay, usually $25-$50 USD) for specialists? That tends to be cheaper than deductible/coinsurance if your specialist visits are expensive. However, if you see the specialist often, then you might max out a deductible/coinsurance early in the year and your insurance then would cover the rest of the visits in full.

        2. Are you taking any medications? How are they covered (under the insurance or under a separate pharmacy plan)? What would the costs be?

        3. How is therapy covered? Are there any limits to number of visits? Is your current therapist in-network with either/both plans? How expensive are the visits? (see #1 about copays vs deductible).

        4. Are you planning to expand your family (caring for additional adult members, having a child/adopting/fostering)? Would the additional person(s) be covered under your or his plan? Which would be more cost effective?

        I’m sorry I can’t be more precise, but insurance plans vary SO much! I always tell people that health insurance plans are like the old Chinese menus: You get everything in column A (i.e., services required by federal/state laws) and then your company gets to chose from column B as to what they want to cover in addition.

        For example, in my state, many companies are required by state law to cover services that many other states don’t require – infertility costs, many child expenses (autism, deafness, etc). But other companies do not have to cover those services if they chose not to. It’s all very complex.

        1. I'm usually smart enough, but not smart enough for this*

          Long response didn’t get lost! Thanks for the followup!

          1. It looks like they both have copays that are similar enough for specialists that that’s now not a concern (thanks!)
          2. I’m not currently taking medications, but it looks like they’d be a flat rate on one and a percent (up to a max) on the other that would be higher, so that’s good to knowQ
          3. I think the therapist would be out of network on both (I’ll have to double check with her, but I suspect). It’s explicitly not covered on one plan (if it’s telemedicine) but it’s not called out specifically on the other plan, so I’m not sure if that means it’s not covered at all or if it’s categorized as something else.
          4. No plans to add to the family in the near future, so I don’t think I have to worry about that!

          No apologies needed for the lack of precision. Thank you so much for the depth and thought!

      2. MI Dawn*

        I typed a very long response that I hope it went into moderation rather than vanished! I’ll keep checking.

    11. Kd*

      How much does your employer benefit administrator help on things like navigating inaccurate billing? I’m at a small company and the person who handles HR has a bunch of other jobs, so it would never occur to me to ask—but there have been times when I really could have used the help! What’s appropriate to ask?

      1. Julia Gulia*

        My job is one of those where I oversee all operations for a tiny organization. Definitely ask! We had this happen and our broker was able to help.

      2. MI Dawn*

        I agree with Julia Gulia. Ask your broker if you have one! Or, if you have some sort of community representative (my company has some employees who work with small businesses and helps them out), ask them.

    1. PlywoodRampsRUS*

      Oooh, thank you.

      Would Camtasia or Final Cut Pro be a better tool for adding Audio Description tracks to short videos, for people who are just learning the technology?

      1. Exit-Stage-Left*

        Hi, not the original poster – but work daily with audio accessibility elements (like AD / DV / VI-N to film and television).

        Of those two Final Cut would be the better choice, but probably not the best one. Premiere Pro is (by a wide margin) the most commonly used NLE system in accessibility (although if you learn one NLE system it’s usually easier to pick up and transfer to others). If cost is an option Davinci Resolve is a good option (it’s similar to Final Cut or Premiere Pro – but there’s a free version available).

        If you’re *strictly* doing Audio Description tracks however, you’re actually better of using audio editing software, not video editing software – in which case you’d be better looking at Adobe Audition, or ProTools or the like (there are also free Audio editing packages, but they’re not as good as those two which let you drop video tracks right into your project for Sync and reference).

    2. Carrots*

      If you were interested in pivoting your career away from video production, what would you apply for and how would your skills transfer?

    3. Parallax*

      Do you work with outside clients? I do some basic video shooting and editing for my organization, but we’re looking at hiring a video production company for a more complicated project later this year. I have a strong vision for the end product, but I know I don’t have the technical skills. Any tips for selecting the right company, and working on the project together? Any pitfalls or common mistakes to avoid?

      1. Exit-Stage-Left*

        Not the original poster, but used to run a freelance video production sideline:

        The most common mistake I saw was people hiring individuals (often friends or acquaintances, but sometimes individuals with significant experience trying to branch out on their own) who undercut our quotes but didn’t have the experience to know how to budget the project properly, and so had budgets or timelines that were just unfeasable.

        If going with the lowest bidder, make sure they have an established track record of the type of project you’re looking to do, and have given you a fairly detailed budget of how that breaks down between production costs, post-production time, labour etc.

        We got called in a *lot* for projects where someone had spent the entire budget shooting a project and then had to abandon it before being finished because they (often radically) underestimated the time and costs required to get it to the finish line – and didn’t realize there was a problem until it was too late.

        Make sure you have a number of interim timeline goals, (and typically fees triggered by those milestones) so you’re following (and reviewing output) the *entire* project. A typical deal would be something like:

        10% on Contract (setting out all the commitments and payment deadlines, etc)
        40% on approval of final Script / Shooting Plan / Shooting Schedule / Casting (all the “stuff” before you can actually start filming).
        10% on completion of shooting, review of all raw footage.
        10% on approval of rough cut
        20% on approval of fine cut
        10% on receipt of all final deliverables.

        That way if something goes off the rails (or personal or professional issues pop up) you’ve still got budget left to pivot and go in another direction (or hire someone else to take over).

        1. Parallax*

          Thank you! This is super helpful. We’re definitely looking to work with an established company that has a portfolio showing they do the kind of work we’re looking for.

          When you did this work, how involved was the client in the actual work, e.g. shooting? Were they onsite during shooting, or did you just agree on a shot list and then take it away to do the filming? We will probably have to coordinate some of the logistics on site when they film (for safety, etc), but should we expect to review the setup/shots as they go?

          1. Exit-Stage-Left*

            You’re the client, so that type of thing is completely at your discretion. It’s most common to have a client representative there any time we were shooting, as often things need to be tweaked and changed on the day, and that’s easier with someone there who can immediately sign off on those changes.

            We did work with some clients who just wanted the end product and didn’t want to be there, which is fine (depending on the subject matter actually shooting can be a lot more tedious than people think).

            Just be up front with what your expectations are. If that’s a deal breaker for someone that’s good to know up front (but would also be a bit of a red flag, as it’s really, really, common).

            1. Parallax*

              Good to know that’s very normal. We previously worked with a creative agency (not on video stuff) that was pretty resistant to our input/involvement through the process. In hindsight, that was probably a bit of a red flag, as you note, since we weren’t thrilled with the finished product.

    4. LoraC*

      Suggestions for voice overs when your company is too cheap to hire voice actors? They’ve been going around asking for employees to volunteer and narrate and the quality is really varied. I’ve heard about AI voice generators, is that an option and do you have any suggestions which ones to use?

      1. Exit-Stage-Left*

        AI voice generation is typically still really frowned upon by the accessibility community as being uneven quality and disconcerting to listeners (by the same token standard text-to-speech synthesis is really frowned upon – it’s better than nothing, but not much).

        Human voice narration is still the gold standard. In your case is it possible to find one or two employees who like this type of project and make them the defacto “voice actors” for your org?

        My best no-budget VO tip is to record in a clothes closet at home if possible. Most closets with the door closed are surprisingly good for acoustic deadening because of all the fabric. At least as good (or better) than a mediocre DIY voice booth.

      2. MG*

        We used an AI voice generator for our most recent project – Natural Reader. It was the first time our sound editor (freelance) worked with AI, and she enjoyed it, but in the end, it didn’t come out that much cheaper than our very expensive (but very, very professional) voice actor. That’s because while overall, the output was pretty good, there was still some finessing to do, and especially with pronuciation of foreign words (which we have here and there). In other words, most of what we saved on the voice actor we paid to our sound editor.

        She did say that it went faster as she gained more experience, and that probably the next project would go much faster. So overall, we saved maybe 15% on the project and got okay but not amazing output (since, as I said, our regular voice actor is particularly good). If you’re using employee narration and are doing voice overs regularly (so you build up experience with AI sound editing), that could work well for you.

    5. not applicable*

      Have you ever tried to manage this process across states? What are some tips/pitfalls that you would recommend if I was trying to produce a video with people all over my region?

      I’m trying to produce a video for my church and we don’t have any professionals helping us! As one of the older people within the leadership team, I’m trying to understand what the best way to implement that process is.

    6. DeskApple*

      There are of course a million free resources for editing- which is the overwhelming part. Do you have any go to references or course recommendations for absolute beginners who are otherwise very skilled in all kinds of other software? haha. I got procreate and froze at all the buttons and tabs

    7. Basic Octopus*

      Is there an easy and cheap (ideally free) way of blurring faces in a video? Specifically I’m using CCTV footage for training purposes and don’t want to identify people but my company doesn’t seem to care much about getting me access to something like this. The videos don’t need editing beyond trimming, it’s just a blur feature I need.

      1. Jennifer @unchartedworlds*

        I’m far from an expert on this, but as no-one else has answered yet… I think there’s a good chance this might be possible in the free version of Davinci Resolve, which is pretty marvellous for a free thing. And it’ll be easier if the people stay in the same place on the screen, harder if they’re moving around.

  10. Anon in NJ*

    I continue to struggle with how to describe achievements on a resume when metrics are challenging. Specifically around providing good client service and entrusted with challenging relationships. Specific examples from your resumes would be helpful!!

    2. df200*

      “I have led multi-functional teams of up 30 people, encouraging collaboration, developing strong trust-based multi-level relationships and establishing an environment which encourages everyone to contribute their expertise.”

      and

      “I am a qualified workplace mediator and I derive great satisfaction from using my skills to help individuals across [MY ORGANISATION] to resolve conflict and restore their working relationships.”

    3. Rae*

      Read one item on your resume (I prefer out loud). Now, imagine a hiring manager asking you why this mattered. what was the outcome and why did it matter?
      For example: Built a workload visualization for P. dept, identifying projects for the next 18 months, staff assigned to each, estimated days to completion, and division. This allowed my boss to quickly readjust workloads, respond more quickly to requests for new projects, saved time for everyone in the dept and streamlined work processes.
      I did resume reviews for several years. I’m not good at making up BS but I’m very good at polishing what other people have written.

    4. LaurCha*

      Same. I spent years teaching. I don’t have stats to hand any more. It’s hard to quantify other than “taught a buttload of courses to way too many students for 7 years”.

      1. Je ne sais What*

        It’s really about thinking through the crucial skills you want to highlight with that experience. Is it the coordination of multiple projects/course curricula? The communication skills necessary? The necessary team interaction of working in a secondary school department? It depends a lot on what you’re doing now too. Are you still teaching? Or pivoting to something else? Look at the action verbs the job descriptions you’re interested in use and see how you can articulate/demonstrate that in your teaching experience.

      2. CowWhisperer*

        I often explain the various subgroups of student populations I worked with like “Adapted content reading materials for English Language Learners at 4th, 6th, and 9th grade levels” or “Co-taught general education science courses to students with mild CI and moderate to severe LD IEPs. ”

        I currently teach – and no one has ever asked me for metrics as much as tools, techniques and adaptability.

    5. Garblesnark*

      Did anyone ever give you a compliment about how well you did this? maybe you can steal their wording?

      1. abitahooey*

        I got a tip I loved to help about keeping track of compliments/positive feedback on my work. My old boss encouraged me to just create a folder or a doc somewhere that was just compliments. I named mine the “yay folder” and I stick screenshots of emailed or DMed positive feedback in there that I save as [date. person name. project. feedback]. I also have a doc in there where I can make note of anecdotal feedback or milestones. This way when it comes time to update a resume, prep for a performance review, or ask for a raise, I don’t have to rack my brain for the things that went well, I can just pull up the folder! It’s also very nice to look through on days when I feel like absolute crap.

    6. TheGirlInTheAfternoon*

      “Provided consistent, detailed client service to up to X# of clients per quarter/round/whatever, including XYZ tasks.”
      “Entrusted with cultivating/maintaining/building high-touch client relationships across multiple sectors/industries/companies/whatever, regularly interacting with leadership/contacts/etc. to ensure successful outcomes.” (Or if “Entrusted with” seems a little too feelings-y for your industry, just skip straight to “Cultivated/maintained/whatever.”

      And if you received specific positive feedback from any of your clients, note that as well!

    7. Peanut Hamper*

      I find that a lot of people word their resume as “I did X to improve Y” as in “rewrote initial training to decrease onboarding of new employees”.

      Take that, spin it around (i.e., put the result first), put a number on it (metrics), and add a bit of detail that will give an interviewer something to ask a question about.

      “Reduced onboarding of new employees from six weeks to three weeks by rewriting initial training to remove redundancies and increase online options.”

    8. ecnaseener*

      I’m not in love with this phrasing (happy to hear if anyone has suggestions) but: “Frequently commended by [internal clients in my case] for providing clear, supportive guidance on complex projects”

    9. Stinky Tofu*

      [blockquote] …providing good client service and entrusted with challenging relationships… [/blockquote]

      1. Maintained X number of accounts for Y years, consistently receiving glowing feedback about my ability to Z.
      2. Fielded X% of the calls that came through my 3-person department because of my ability to quickly resolve customer concerns.
      3. Resolved an average of X% of cases in my inbox, an increase over X% of the expected monthly goals.
      4. Assigned the most complex cases, such as financial disputes, bulk order management, customer retention efforts, identity-theft concerns, etc., due to my expertise, my attention to detail and my ability to problem solve.
      5. Frequently received written and verbal positive feedback from multiple stakeholders regarding the high quality of my work and the timeliness of my delivery.
      6. Promoted X times in Y years because of demonstrated expertise in Z area.
      7. Rated “Outstanding“ on my most recent performance evaluation for A, B, and C.

      Hope this helps!

    10. ccsquared*

      As someone who’s seen a lot of resumes as a hiring manager for roles that don’t really have a lot of standard metrics, I’m actually not a fan of this advice to include metrics for the sake of using metrics – as others have pointed out, knowing what you specifically did and the impact it had is more important than quantifying everything. The goal of the “metrics” advice is to steer people away from making their resume into a set of brief job descriptions and towards a document that showcases their specific talents and accomplishments.

      Numbers can be great for that if you have them, but if you feel like you’re twisting yourself into pretzels to quantify something that isn’t normally quantified in your field or where the example highlights something else like skills you gained, your ability to work with humans, knowledge of an industry, etc., it’s ok to use a qualitative assessment of the impact.

      Where it does make sense to quantify:
      – Metrics that are standard to your field/role, for example, most sales managers would expect to see quota attainment or similar for a sales role
      – Metrics that give a sense of scope, particularly if that scope is spelled out in the job ad. Managing a system for a 10 person team is different than one for a 10,000 person company, and spending a $1,000 budget on a team event is different than running a $1M project.
      – Metrics that show truly standout performance relative to your peers or norms in the industry
      – Metrics that speak to the quality of your work, such as customer satisfaction scores or project evaluations

    1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

      Do you have a favorite document management system? Or what do you look for when evaluating new programs?

      1. 2 cents*

        I’m not an IT person, and my experience is many years ago, but I know of two prestigious legal employers who chose Hummingbird DM (it had a different name before), and I found it easy to use.

      2. LAM*

        I’m in a records role, so I see all these document management systems as an extension of what we have been doing for millennia. It’s just that the how that has changed.

        For example, you have to have an exit strategy negotiated before signing the contract when you didn’t have to think about when things were more analog. Otherwise, it’s a nightmare because they may still keep a copy of your data if you leave, cost an arm and a leg to retrieve everything, or you get a data dump with no context/loss of functionality.

        Something I noticed is these systems tend to focus on “we make it easier to search” and ignore the problem of bad metadata or you can’t OCR photos. I mean you can, but what’s the point of a caption that it’s a photo of a building…if every photo is of a building.

        The more straightforward your workflows and forms, the easier time people will have and the more consistent things will be, which makes it easier to find information. These systems struggle with nuance. Not that they would do some herding, more so that it will still be a pain point.

    2. More promise than lick*

      I’m what you might call an enthusiastic amateur. I have a really weird network problem (home internet isn’t as fast as it should be based on simple diagnostics) Can you please point me at some resources so I can teach myself enough to track it down?

      1. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

        Old hand at IT: first, find the logon details for your home router (Its usually provided by the ISP or whoever you purchased the router from) and access it through your PC browser – it’ll commonly be a sort of 192.168.1.254 address.
        Putting the router name and model into Google should also return the address info and where to find the password.
        From there it depends upon your brand – but there’s generally a menu and option to see what devices are connected. If that looks like there’s way too many then get your wireless passwords changed ASAP (you can do that from the router control panel).

        1. Betty4Cats*

          Really old IT hand (keypunch old :-0): If you have any “smart” devices connected to your network – range, fridge, washer, … for all I know maybe toaster! – look at your network stats if you can to see if there is one or more of them “chatting” all the time. Or just take them off the network and see if speed improves. Most of these devices are half-baked software and can take up all your bandwidth.

          1. More promise than lick*

            Unless it’s the neighbor’s smart devices (which… unlikely, they’re in a detached house lol) then this it definitely isn’t.

            The problem isn’t peak speeds, it’s random slowdowns and router connection hiccups, which seem to be worse for some websites than others.

            But I have no idea how to tell whether it’s the router (which was new in 2021, seems unlikely), the cabling in the house (extremely possible but why only sometimes), or usage fluctuations elsewhere in my local “node”. Or something else I haven’t thought of.

            And I don’t really know enough about network infrastructure in general to be able to point myself to learn more.

            1. I Have RBF*

              If you are in an urban area, the slowdown may not be inside your home network. If one of your neighbors on the same network “branch” is doing a lot of streaming or downloading, it can slow the entire branch down. You might want to make note of the time(s) of day that this happens – like say 4 pm when kids come home from school – and see if it correlates to anything.

      2. Tio*

        Not an IT anything, but with a weird note: My friend is a streamer, and after much frustration with his network speeds not being good despite paying more for a business line, he forced the company into a service call and they discovered his upload speeds were physically locked, as in the cables couldn’t handle his capacity. They upgraded the network and his speeds started going fine.

      3. HexagonRuler*

        WiFi signals will weaken a lot when they pass through solid objects, especially people, so to maximise your signal strength, put your WiFi router as high as possible in a central location. Loads of householders just site their router next to where the broadband enters the property which is frequently at floor level near the entrance door, so they end up with weak WiFi elsewhere.

        If you possibly can, run cables so that the router can be mounted high on a wall above the level of furniture and persons in a central location.

    3. Clever Nickname*

      A few questions

      1. I’m working on my A+. Any general tips.

      2. I’d like to eventually find a fully remote role with as little customer interaction as possible, which branch of IT would you suggest I focus on with those goals in mind?

      3. Which branch of IT would overlap best with eventually getting in to WebDev?

      4. Which non-Comptia certs would you recommend to someone who REALLY wants to understand the IT field?

      5. Best aspects of working in IT? Worst?

      1. Goth Manager Lady*

        I’m an IT leader. IT is a customer service industry no matter which role you’re stepping into and interested in going toward. At a higher level or more specialized position, the focus is less on day-to-day questions, however, you are still in a support org and will still need to do customer service & stakeholder engagement for project work. I have held a myriad of roles at all levels – the customer interaction changes, but never goes away.

        Perhaps a very high-level network engineer IC or database administrator will have less day to day user-facing interactions. Data center technicians are also likely to have no customer interaction, but not much room for growth.

        For certs, ITIL and ITSM frameworks are great for support roles. I hire a lot of entry-level technicians and I’m primarily focused on how their soft skills, customer service, and general presentation are first, then technical acumen, then certifications as a bonus.

        1. April*

          Do you recommend any coursework for ITIL and ITSM? Been in the support analyst field for over ten years but still find ITIL presentations hard to follow.

          1. Goth Manager Lady*

            For ITSM I would recommend Pink Elephant – we’ve run several of their trainings with our teams with great success.

            They recently lost their ITIL rights and I haven’t found a good replacement yet. :(

        3. NetNrrd*

          Yeah, I’m a principal network engineer (senior-level individual contributor), and most of the people I deal with are other (often senior) tech folks from my group and adjacent groups (server management, data center operations, etc). But even then, I end up having to deal with individual users on a fairly regular basis, either to help them troubleshoot or to get troubleshooting information from them.

      2. Cyborg Llama Horde*

        2) Cloud infrastructure management can usually be a) remote and b) relatively non-customer-facing, though as GML said, you’ll still have internal “customers.” Related to 4, most of the major cloud providers have their own certification tracks.

        5) For my job (It systems), I like the variety, and the problem-solving, and the mix of technical problems, process problems, and figuring out how to turn a coworker’s “I need to do X” into a technical solution.
        3am incidents that get you out of bed are pretty worst. As is losing days or weeks of work to one little setting somewhere that was toggled wrong.

    4. MikeM_inMD*

      > “in IT”

      Which part? Help desk? Hardware? Coding? Software testing? Data bases? ….

    5. TooMuchOfAManager*

      Hi!

      Software or hardware? If software, any tips for maximizing Teams/Project utilization? I’m project managing somewhere around a dozen projects and have just started using Project in my Teams Channel. I’ve watched a few videos, but they’re pretty basic. Any recommendations for resources or tips are appreciated! Thank you.

      1. ccsquared*

        Is your question about how to get your team/colleagues to collaborate together on Project or just how to learn Project?

        If your goal with Project is just to track tasks, assignments, and deadlines with your team, like the sort of projects most knowledge workers need to handle, you might check out Planner, which is another MSFT tool probably bundled in for free with your Office suite. It’s designed more to organize business activities described colloquially as projects, rather than the sorts of projects that would be led by project management professionals, and sits somewhere between personal task management and project management software, similar to Trello. If you are trying to collaborate with people who are using personal systems and shift them to something shared, choosing a tool that is more intuitive and feels more like consumer software can often solve a lot of training and adoption issues.

    7. TheGirlInTheAfternoon*

      What’s the least annoying way to tell IT professionals that I am the person they will tell stories about for the rest of their career, or at least the rest of their week?

      The number of IT folks who I have consulted about what seem like simple fixes only to have them say (almost verbatim), “I don’t understand, it shouldn’t be doing that!” or “This system literally should not be capable of breaking in the way it is currently broken” is very high. I don’t want to be the person they avoid forever! Or who gets a reputation as incompetent! Or as feigning helplessness!

      I usually go with some variation of “Fair warning, I think I emit some kind of charge that makes tech go haywire,” but truthfully it’s often very frustrating for us both. Is there a way to reduce that friction from the start?

      1. Neko*

        Trying your best to treat the IT people with respect and not be demanding can help a lot. I think your current warning is good, and it will always depend on the IT people you are working with.

        The main thing is to have patience with the process. Yesterday it took me 6-7 hours to find the cause of the issue I was trying to fix, and that was nonstop troubleshooting the issue as soon as it was given to me.

      2. Cyborg Llama Horde*

        Oh, you aren’t the person I’ll tell stories about for the rest of my career. I like the good-humored people with an obscure talent for breaking things in new and creative ways.

        It’s the people who spill an entire cup of grape soda onto their laptop keyboard and then walk away for the rest of the day — and then call in a screaming hurry at 9:06 the next morning when the laptop won’t turn on. Or the one dear sweet woman who wanted to know if the wifi problems would be resolved if we moved it to the cloud. Those are the stories that stick. Also the dreadful misogynists.

      3. I Have RBF*

        You have a career in QA!

        I have known several people who, if there was a flaw in the software, or an obscure edge case that caused an outage, they would, inadvertently, find it and trigger it. As an IT person, I both loved and hated these people. Loved them if they were part of my testing process, hated them when they ended up as end users.

        There are some people who just have a knack for finding the flaw. I actually try to appreciate them, but it’s hard at 6 pm on a Friday.

      4. TeaCoziesRUs*

        I tend to smile wryly, tell them my home tech support (hubby) calls me a walking EMP, and ask what some of their favorite bribes are. :)

        If it’s easy, or I know I’m going to have some down-time while they work, I’ll clear out and grab a favorite bribe for them (coffee, donut, whatever).

      5. Azure Jane Lunatic*

        A “Hi! I’ve been told that I have a talent for finding really weird edge cases!” is another good phrase, especially if you have examples. (An edge case is a single factor where stretching it to its limits has weird stuff going on; a corner case is a place where two weird limits intersect and cause even weirder stuff to happen.)

        I’m good at finding the weird stuff too, and the absolute best ability to cultivate is being able to give step-by-step instructions on how you got it to do the weird thing. Bonus points for a format that goes like:

        When I frob the whoozer, I expect that it wheezes and whunks. Instead, it wibbles and whinnies. Steps I took:
        1. Turn the whoozer on.
        2. Go make coffee while the whoozer warms up.
        3. Frob the whoozer using a gentle motion, rocking back and forth.
        4. High-pitched wibbling instead of a low-pitched wheeze.
        5. Random sparks while it whinnies.

        That helps them sort out which things are mistaken expectations, which are user error (you should use a quick flick immediately when the light turns blue instead of getting coffee, because if you let it warm up too long that’s bad), and which are things acting really unexpectedly.

      6. NetNrrd*

        It may be helpful to start with “okay, this is kind of weird” and explain what you’ve already done/looked at to try and figure it out. Like, “I ran ‘ipconfig /all’ on my windows machine, I tried pinging this thing by IP, I tried going to this other site from a web browser, and I got all these results from that testing.” Timestamps are helpful if some of the behavior may be visible on another machine and they can look at logs – like “I tried to connect to the internet coffeepot at 11:45am, but I got an error message saying ‘Error 418, this is the teapot’ – was there a problem with the coffee server around then?”
        The root of diagnostic troubleshooting is “What did you do? What did you expect to happen? What actually happened?”

    8. Head sheep counter*

      The cup holder on my PC broke off. Can you repair it?
      What is this big button here?
      If I delete all the files everywhere, can you recover them?

    9. JTP*

      Why are some IT people so afraid of Macs? My company uses mostly PCs, but the designers use Macs. It takes FOREVER to get IT help because most of the IT department won’t/can’t help. My husband (who also works in IT and helps me more than my company’s IT department) thinks they’re being ridiculous.

      1. I Have RBF*

        If they don’t hire Mac trained techs, you won’t get good Mac support.

        There are three major OS categories in the PC area: Windows, Mac, and Linux. Most people are good with only one of the three, sometimes people will do two, but seldom is anyone good at all three.

        So if your company is 90% Windows, you are very unlikely to get Mac support, since the techs are not hired as Mac support. They are not “afraid” of Mac support, but they are not trained to do it, so they just don’t want to f up something that they don’t know.

        I work primarily in Linux, and sometimes to a little Windows support. I don’t support Macs, I don’t really like Mac OS, and have no incentive to spend thousands of dollars on overpriced hardware just to learn it.

    10. TeaCoziesRUs*

      No question, just some good karma your way. :)

      I don’t know if you ever listen to RSlash read reddit on podcast, YouTube, etc. But one thing he’s drummed into both me and my kids is NEVER MESS WITH THE IT PERSON. If you need a smile, some of his Malicious compliance, Pro Revenge, and I Don’t Work Here, Lady stories have IT folks saving the day… or trying to. :)

  12. AlmostNotUnemployedInGreenland*

    I’m good at a couple of things and I’d be happy to answer questions about:

    eDiscovery

    How to train adults (quite different from teaching children)

    1. Jelizabug*

      I’d like to be more involved in creating/ designing training for learning management systems, specifically for the corporate world. Is that something you’re involved in? If so, do you recommend any specific areas of study I should focus on? I’m currently working through a project management certification and I’ll be brushing up on my graphics design skills. I suspect I will need to take some kind of instructional design courses, but I’m not sure where to go from there!

      1. AlmostNotUnemployedInGreenland*

        If you have a paid (Premium) account on LinkedIn, there are tons of very good courses on instructional design, curriculum development, etc. Those would be a good place to start, since they are included in the membership and you can sample a bunch of things without a big monetary commitment.

        I’m a little confused about what you mean in your question mentioning LMS. Do you mean getting your content in an LMS? Or am I misunderstanding you?

      1. Caramel & Cheddar*

        From my experience as an attendee, jokes/memes/funny videos where appropriate (emphasis on “where appropriate”). I recently had to attend health & safety training and one segment started with a quick video from someone on TikTok who did a safety audit of the Mines of Moria from Lord of the Rings. It helped make things less stale without overall compromising the serious nature of the subject matter.

        You have to have the right kind of workplace for that kind of thing, of course.

      2. AlmostNotUnemployedInGreenland*

        When I have to teach stuff like that, I definitely use humor as much as possible. Also good graphics can help a lot. I love to use short videos – little MP4 files that illustrate something necessary but are fun.

        Also using personal anecdotes applicable to the course material – always a good bet. It makes you and the material more relatable. Since my career has been going on for about 40 years, I have a LOT of stories.

    3. LaurCha*

      I am interested eDiscovery. Do I need a certificate? I’ve been a paralegal for just under two years (after several other careers) and I’d rather be dealing with documents than the drama of people. (Yes, family law. So much drama.) I’m reasonably tech-savvy but not IT-pro level.

      1. AlmostNotUnemployedInGreenland*

        Have you handled any litigation as a paralegal? That would be a big plus.

        A career in eDiscovery is a great move for paralegals. I’ve mentored several paralegals who now have great jobs in the field.

        I would advise you to see if you can switch to litigation practice so you can start to learn the basics. There is a lot to learn in eDiscovery and learning from the ground up is really helpful. There are a few different certs out there. I am a CEDS – Certified eDiscovery Specialist, which is issued by ACEDS. Check out http://www.aceds.org for more information. You will see that cert mentioned in job descriptions, but it is not a guarantee of an offer. It’s helpful, but it isn’t all you need.

        Check out relativity.com – this is Relativity, the most popular eDiscovery document review program on the market. It is the one that most firms require you to know. It’s pretty easy to pick up the basics, but the back end for database administration, is more complicated.

        Take some basic courses in database design and search criteria. A lot of the work in eDiscovery is based around these skills. There are different search engines out there, learning a bit about each of them would be very useful. Start with dtSearch. Learn about Boolean operators and how they are used to form complex searches.

    4. Diatryma*

      How do you figure out where people’s skill levels are, if you don’t have a formal assessment process or anything? I’m responsible for a lot of training in my lab, and not everyone comes in with the specific degree, a related degree, or a degree at all– and some of that doesn’t matter because they haven’t done this kind of work in years. I usually start everyone at the basic ‘do not lick the science’ but I’m still finding holes where people say they have skills but they aren’t where I want them to be.

      1. Lozi*

        This is a great question… people are not great at self-assessing, so what’s the best way to figure out where they are with content knowledge and skill, so that you can train them well?

    5. Anon Trainer*

      I train adults on a piece of software but am always looking for any tips, tricks, ideas, best practices, etc. because I have zero formal training in it and I do everything by trial and error.

      Currently, for the average user I have them do a self-directed introductory training (video or written documentation, their choice) that ends with a quiz so I know they’ve done it. Then they do a session with me to talk about the different ways their team uses the software so that I can demonstrate proper usage, they can ask questions, etc. We follow this up with a working session where they do actual real work in the database and I observe so I can offer tips and tricks, make gentle corrections, etc.

      This mostly seem to be working, but I’d love to hear anything that might improve what I’m doing. I always worry about retention since it can be such an overwhelming amount of information and I find my best users are the ones who use the software every single day for much of their job. Are there ways of helping with info retention for people who use it less often or in a more cyclical manner (e.g. really intensely but only once every six months), etc.

      1. Annie*

        Pictures! At least one for each step.

        I had to use a software feature that only comes up for me a few times per year and just knew I wouldn’t remember all the steps for that feature by the next time I had to use it, so I took a screenshot of each step and saved them all in a Word document. I also included notes of little details that can easily trip someone up, e.g. “make sure it’s a lower case “l” and not an upper case “I” for the record you’re trying to update”.

        1. Anon Trainer*

          That’s definitely part of the training! If you see it on screen during any step of a process, you’re going to see it in the documentation.

          If you’re a Microsoft user, you might like their tool called Steps Recorder that can record you going through a series of actions and then spit out steps / images of you doing that. It makes it super easy to make your own notes on your processes! I don’t use it for my training materials because I like to be able to give more context / clarifying info than the tool can provide, but it’s good for one-off personal things like you describe.

    6. not applicable*

      Commenting to follow along with this thread! I don’t have any specific questions but am very interested in learning more about training adults.

    7. TheGirlInTheAfternoon*

      I work in legal career services, and we used to have graduates who quite regularly worked in eDiscovery while continuing to search for a longer-term position. It seems like those positions have mostly shifted to more experienced professionals. Is that consistent with what you’ve seen?

      1. AlmostNotUnemployedInGreenland*

        Do you mean law school graduates? Yes, there are a lot of them who do document review while they are waiting for a perm spot in a firm or corp. eDiscovery work is when you specialize in the design of the databases where litigation documents are loaded, and in guiding attorneys through the whole process of document review and production.

    8. Lozi*

      I’m interested in learning more about how to train adults … what are some best practices?

    9. ferrina*

      How do you get adults to sign on board for training, especially at higher levels? Are there particular topics or ways of framing topics that get more people signing up and/or participating?

    10. Vottoast*

      No question, but hello from a Director of eDiscovery! Always fun to find colleagues in the wild!

    11. SummitSkein*

      Does any of your eDiscovery knowledge extend to … how to get people on board with better methods? I’m asking as I’m literally in the process of trying to download 50GB of information that we’re being sent – that can either be downloaded as the 50GB zip, or as 207 individual files. No in between. The problem is, I’m a ‘lowly’ admin in a state-run organization, and saying “hey this is unwieldy and way too big to be handled as-is” is falling on deaf ears. There are other major issues and I just feel like I have no way to push back.

    1. issalinde*

      please teach me your ways! despite having a creative background i ended up in finance and i’m miserable. how can i make a shift back to creative work (i’m looking at marketing as a possibility)

      1. howlieT*

        So, I did the reverse oddly! I’ve spent 12 years working in theatre and just recently transitioned into tech.

        The best advice I can offer is to start making contacts, it’s rubbish but also it gets you a long way, and to look at what you can offer as transferable skills. So for example, if you’re good at chairing a finance meeting you’ll be good at chairing a non-finance meeting right? Those skills don’t suddenly up and leave you just because you’ve changed the envvironment you use them in.

        Also keep an eye out for any free or low cost retrainer type courses in your local area, which is how I metaphorically got my foot in the door, and be prepared to do a bit of (yuck) networking. You need the first person who’s willing to take a chance on you to get you in the door, and then people stop thinking of you as “the finance person” because now you’re in the industry.

        The hardest bit of all is working out the level of pay cut you can afford to take, because most of the time when you’re changing career in a big way you’re going in right at the very bottom of the scale, and it’s not going to be big $, so work out your budgets, work out how long you can afford to do it for, and be honest with potential employers. The right one will be willing to meet you in the middle in my experience!

        1. Reader*

          I’m looking to do much the same move (opera production, both the performing and producing sides, into office work), only I’m having a really difficult time coming up with the way to get enough keywords into my resume in order to pass though the TMS and ever speak to a human. I do have a kind of catch-all job at a small business where a lot of monetary responsibility falls on me, but I don’t have a real job title.

          1. howlieT*

            I found it was a lot about rewording sometimes, so the CV part it’s like
            “Budget holder for my department”
            “Working with stakeholders and customers”
            “Working with new stystems” instead of
            “Budget holder for Show” or “working with show control systems”

            Honestly leaning on a network or any friends/linkedin contacts or anything of that sort is your best step in, but loads of tech companies etc like a career changer because you’re bringing in a fresh perspective

        2. Former Mental Health professional*

          I worked in mental health for about 10 years and then transitioned out of that about 10 years ago. I had a friend who worked in Healthcare Learning and Development who said, I think you’d be really good as a trainer. I applied and worked in healthcare IT for the next 7 years. Now I work as a Customer Success Manager for a company that sells an LMS – so my implementation skills, my project management skills and obviously my background working in IT/software in general still apply. My stress level has gone down considerably with each change. Use your network, but the main thing to remember is that all skills are transferable! Everything I learned as a counselor can be applied to customers/co-workers and helps with communication.

      2. anonymouse*

        Not sure about marketing in particular but for many kinds of creative work, you can start by doing freelance on the side to build up your resume. Are there some related kinds of freelance writing you could do that would be a qualification or useful writing samples for a marketing position?

      3. marketing director*

        Butting in to say…if at all possible, volunteer. Yes, it’s a very privileged thing to be able to do, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s genuinely the best option if you can manage even an hour or two per month. It may help to think of it as a free training course.
        The nice thing about marketing specifically is that there are a TON of low-commitment ways to get practical experience and resume fodder, because every single tiny struggling nonprofit out there wants marketing help and very few of them can afford to pay. If you’re lucky, you can join a volunteer board as part of the marketing subcommittee and get some slightly more professional guidance/training.
        That said, I want to note that marketing isn’t necessarily “creative” in the way that many people mean it. (I actually sometimes describe my career trajectory as transitioning from creative to marketing!) There’s typically a lot of data analysis, endless meetings about branding and color palettes, managing vendor relationships, chasing down print orders, etc. You really have to have a passion for understanding audience motivations and optimizing A/B campaigns; any kind of social sciences background will be especially helpful.
        That’s the other reason I suggest volunteering: see what the cycle really is like, and if it’s not for you then there will likely be zero professional consequences.

        1. Miette*

          25-year (nearly, yikes) marketing veteran here to agree with the second part of this. Marketing is more project management and learning how to multitask than anything else. And there are so many more aspects to it than people realize: product and go-to-market strategizing, market research, brand development, community development, lead/demand generation, customer relationship management, social/digital, PR and communications, branding/creative/advertising.

          I’ve worn many of these hats because I’ve worked for smaller firms/clients, so I’m a good all-arounder and a good manager (of people, projects, and vendors), but if you want to break into a big consumer-facing company like Kraft or something you’ll have to specialize. In fact, if that’s a goal and your interests lie in this direction, I’d look into advertising from the agency side as a way in, because you can gain more experience more quickly. There are several good programs out there now specific to advertising (I have a masters in strategic advertising and marketing, for example), but you could also pick up certifications in Google, Facebook, etc. advertising a with some time and very little cost, whith might be a foot in the door at a smaller agency.

    2. capybaracandles*

      How do you find what is appropriate to your skills? I have a master’s degree in librarianship, but honestly due to several factors (competitiveness, the area I specialized in, being unable to move for a few reasons) I don’t know that I’ll ever actually get a position in the field….I’m in healthcare doing administrative work now and I like it enough, but I’d like to get something that’s a bit more well paying.

      1. Holly*

        I am in an extremely similar situation with an MLIS too. I want to pivot to something higher paying and while I’m willing to learn new skills, it would be so much better to just be able to use what I already have.

    3. Phone A Friend*

      Asking this question for a friend (yes, a real friend!). My friend has worked in one field for over ten years, got a masters in it, and has worked her way up. Now she’s feeling very done with it (bad management in multiple areas, tiring public interaction, various other gripes I’ve heard). She knows she wants to leave the field she’s in but has no idea what she wants to do instead. She asked me for thoughts, because I’ve job searched more recently than her, but I can’t give her tips on how to find a new career path since I’m still within my field even with changing companies. She seems overwhelmed and having a hard time narrowing down what she’s interested in. Thoughts on how to find something new when all you really know is that you don’t want to be at the old career anymore?

      (Also she hates work and constantly says humans aren’t meant for 40 hour work weeks, we should be out in nature, that kind of thing… which I totally agree with but plotting to destroy capitalism will not put food on the table)

      1. scavenger*

        I have a non-work question. Recently I found a Vizio screen on the street and brought it home. It turns on, but its ports (newer) don’t match my laptop’s (older). Can I get a converter cable, or is there some other use I can put it to with the internet? Would I need an ethernet cable, or can it use WiFi?

        1. I have resting IT support face*

          You can get converters. It wouldn’t connect to the internet directly, you could connect to the laptop or another computer. It’s possible since it was on the street it’s not functioning.

          Generally, the connections will probably be VGA (w/ pinholes, the cables have pins and screws and are usually blue on the connector), HDMI (thin trapezoid) or USB C (phone connector size). It’s probably VGA on the laptop, HDMI on the monitor, those connectors are older but probably still cheap online on Amazon or NewEgg.

      3. NotmyNormalName*

        I did a career change at about 30. I went from advertising (client management and project management) to accounting and finance. I looked at what I liked about my work in advertising (data and how to use information to make business decisions) and used that to decide on a new career. I work in operations finance (so more business than true accounting).

        In my case, I went back to school, got an MBA and then my accounting designation. The MBA was only because it make the designation possible (gave me the classes I needed before doing my CMA – I’m in Canada). But the good thing about the MBA is I had a prof try to talk me into focusing on marketing (because I was good at it) and I got to test that out and decide that I was 100% done with anything like it. I know not everyone can afford to go back to school but it gives options. I might start with a college class to see if what you’re think of makes sense (I took some event planning classes and quickly decided that wasn’t me).

      4. TheGirlInTheAfternoon*

        Rather than focusing on what she’s interested in, start with what she’s good at and enjoys/doesn’t mind doing when it comes to work tasks. Then start thinking about environments – would she be more satisfied breaking her day up into a several smaller tasks or working on one or two larger projects? Does interacting with people drain her or give her energy? Does quiet space facilitate her focus, or does it make her mind wander?

        These can be really good clues about what kinds of work might suit her best.

    4. Disgruntled Academic*

      Do you have a favorite place where you look for jobs when you’re interested in changing careers? I’m an academic, but interested in things that could leverage my research, project management, writing/analysis skills. So far I just scroll through LinkedIn and USAjobs, but curious if there are better places to look. Thanks!

    5. heynonny*

      I’m gearing up for one myself but actually staying within the same company. I’m struggling a bit with how/when to message to people since I manage a team and we are reasonably close. Is there a good/bad way to break this news to my team and my management peers? (I’m less concerned about some general LI post to let my network know). I’m not sure how much I should explain it to them versus just… inform them.

    6. Caramel & Cheddar*

      Were any of your changes between wildly different sectors, e.g. going from something not super technical where you did technical work to something super technical where there’s even more technical stuff? If yes, did you have to start at the bottom every time?

      I’m finding though I might have experience in X, my lack of experience in Y means I’d have to start as a Junior Whatever at a lot of places and it feels so disheartening to be mid-career and start from scratch. I like to think I have lots of transferable skills in general and am good at learning things, but my lack of experience in the new sector feels like there’s no way I’d ever be selected from a pile of applicants.

      1. Caramel & Cheddar*

        Oh I just saw above you transitioned from theatre to tech, so that’s pretty close to the kind of change I’ve been eyeing.

    7. MHG*

      I’d love to know more on how to find what jobs even exist that I’m qualified for. I’ve been a sports journalist for 16 years, and I love it. However, it’s a field that is really really precarious. I would love to know how to find a job that is more stable but still challenges me.

      1. CzechMate*

        Not the person this was addressed to, but….you probably transition into digital marketing or PR, either for an agency or in-house for a company that is adjacent. You may or may not already know about how brands send sponsored stories to journalists, so you’d probably be well-positioned to be on the other end of that.

        Multiple journalists/marketing people I know have talked about how those two fields are becoming increasingly intertwined, so if you take classes in some other areas (digital marketing, analytics, data visualization, client relations, whatever) you could a) add to your skillset and become more valuable at your current org or b) set yourself up to transition into another area of the digital space.

        Source: my husband works in digital marketing/PR, and once upon a time I wanted to be a journalist and interviewed some I knew to get a sense of the space. The upskilling was something that was particularly recommended by a childhood friend who worked at Al-Jazeera.

    8. ccsquared*

      I’d love your thoughts on mindset when you get that first role and how to set yourself up for success. I’ve made two major role shifts that weren’t exactly whole new careers, but did involve going from manager to IC and having to learn new skills and work cultures. The first time, I didn’t prioritize learning or asking for feedback in effective ways, so it took me way longer to feel and be competent than I was comfortable with. This time around, I’m constantly frustrated by the fact I know I’m capable of more responsibility than I have, but due to norms in the field, I need to have the title and experience for a bit to be seen as capable of the more difficult work. What makes it especially frustrating is that my boss would happily give me more challenging assignments, there just aren’t any in our department right now, and he’s not having much luck finding opportunities with other teams either.

        1. CityKitty*

          You can’t just highlight the column to have it limit search to that part of your Google sheet as you would in Excel, but you can select top menu option “Edit” \ select “Find and replace” (or jump to that step directly with the CTRL + H shortcut) \ add your “find” term and range limit in the “Search” options box, then click “Find” button at bottom of window.

    2. TeenieBopper*

      Without knowing the specifics of what you’re trying to do (maybe something with formula or whatever), if you’re just searching you can highlight the column and ctrl+f

    3. Lab Boss*

      Click on the letter at the top of the column so it highlights the whole column. Then Ctrl+F and type your search term, it should search just the highlighted cells. Incidentally that’s true of any highlighted range of an Excel sheet- you also highlight multiple columns to confine your search to them, or row(s) or just a square of cells in the middle of a sheet.

    5. Jen*

      It seems to be working for me when I:
      1. Highlight the column
      2. Ctrl-F to find my word/phrase
      3. Click “Options <<" button in Find popup
      4. Change "Search:" dropdown to "By Columns"
      4a. I had to also change "Look in:" to "Values"

      This is finding matching cells in the selected column, but not in other columns.

    6. Combinatorialist*

      Another way is to turn on the filter row (Data -> Filter) and then you can search in the filter box. It will filter as you type and then you can hide all non-matching rows to see it all together

    7. ThinMint*

      How come it’s impossible to paste cells from Excel into Google sheets and have the table show up? Does Google do that on purpose?

      1. just here for the scripts*

        I do this literally every week and I’m not sure what’s not working for you.

        I can select all of a sheet in excel, copy (ctrl +c) and the paste (ctrl +V) in the first cell of my Google sheet and have the entire thing populate.

        Note that if you’re pasting functions, not all formulas and functions work from excel to sheets (or visa versa). In that case, right click and paste special>values only and the numbers /text will magically appear

    8. Jo*

      Typically FIND (and replace) will search only whatever cells are highlighted/selected. When finished, it may ask if you wish it to search the rest of the document. Tell it NO.

      To select a column, click on the letter at the top of the column.

    9. RedinSC*

      I have found that ChatGPT is a really big help when trying to discover how to do something in Excel.

  15. Gitty*

    please please please! does anyone know any way in the world to custom sort an outlook search folder according to rules like putting emails from specific person on top, then all emails marked high importance, than all emails containing the word disaster and so on? I have 900 emails to go thru and I would be so much calmer knowing the important emails are on top where I can see them!

    1. Miss Chanandler Bong*

      You could use Outlook rules to put the emails into folders. For instance, you can create a Monica folder, all Monica emails go into that folder. You could put the Rachel emails into another folder. Any specific subjects you can set up a rule to go into. Like “Project Joey” could go into a specific folder.

      The easiest way to do this is to right click on an email, say from Monica, and go to “Manage rules and alerts”. Or you can create a rule directly from there.

      1. Gitty*

        Yes I know how to do that, but is there any way in the world to sort your narrowed down folder “smartly”?

        1. Skoobles*

          Why is it important that the narrowed folder is sorted “smartly” rather than creating subfolders if you need things filtered further? It seems like the long-term benefit of having subfolders would be better, since it’d passively sort your emails and let you know when a high priority one came through.

          1. Gitty*

            I don’t want multiple folders that i need to stay on top of. I want one folder with everything I need to review but if it’s an email from my boss I want that on top so I see it first. following?

            1. Skoobles*

              I don’t understand why four folders with three emails each, a couple of which are less important by default, is harder than one folder with 12, no. You have the same number of emails to keep up with either way, and scrolling down the folders will be like scrolling down your super complicated multi target search strategy.

              1. Gitty*

                Lol this is what I’m looking for. I think it’s a great idea. If you don’t know how to do it, well, neither do I. Don’t argue with me.

            2. Hannah Lee*

              If you have a smallish set of things, email sources that would be a the top X number of priorities pretty consistently, you could create Outlook Rules to categorize them, as High Priority, Super Top Priority etc.

              For example:
              Email from Boss to You > “Mark as Importance “HIGH”
              Email with “TPS Reports” in Subject Line > “Mark as Importance “HIGH”
              Email from Annoying Peer that you also have to reply to within a week > “Mark as Importance “MEDIUM”

              You could do a similar rule, but instead of Importance, assign incoming emails to “CATEGORIES” that you’ve created in Outlook. This will give you more options than simply HIGH, MEDIUM, LOW or unmarked.

              (And I was today years old when I learned that you can ADD new Outlook categories. I wouldn’t have learned that if I didn’t just go looking at that feature to answer this question. Plus you can customize the colors- fun!
              For so long I’ve been frustrated that you could only assign 6, and I’d wind up sacrificing one when I needed a new one. )

              1. Hannah Lee*

                Oh, and then you can then sort or filter your inbox on IMPORTANCE or CATEGORIES or whatever your rule assigns.

                It won’t do a perfect cascade of High Priority but only from all the people who work at your top client (unless you made a special Outlook Rule class for all people from that company) but it will get you somewhat there.

        2. Miss Chanandler Bong*

          Other than the folder thing, you can go to your filter (mine says “by date” currently). If you sort “from” it puts them in alphabetical order. You can also display the important ones on top, but after that, it goes by date. I would think the folder thing would be easiest, but I love folders, lol.

      2. Anna*

        Are you using Outlook 365 on the web? If you are, 365 has a feature where you can “pin” an email to the top of a folder. You can set up a rule so that all emails from a certain person get pinned to the top of the folder they’re in.

        Another small thing I like about this feature is that when you move an item from one folder to another, it stays pinned, so you’ll see it at the top of the new folder too.

        I absolutely hate it that there’s no way to pin emails in the desktop app. I guess you could use categories maybe so emails from this person will stand out when you skim through the folder, but I know, it’s not the same.

        1. Gitty*

          no I’m using the desktop app. do you know if that supports “pinning” as well or only the web version? this is the first time I am hearing about this feature!

          1. Gitty*

            lol my bad i didn’t read thru the end of your response before answering. what a bummer this doesn’t exist on the desktop app! Microsoft should totally add that feature there.

            1. Sarah in Boston*

              It’s now in the desktop app if you have the latest and greatest Office365. I LOVE the pinned emails and was thrilled when it showed up in the desktop app.

              1. Anna*

                OMG! Finally, sheesh. I hope it gets rolled out to my computers soon. And I really hope they add the feature to Macs – it’s appalling how Microsoft refuses to add certain features to the Mac versions of its programs. It’s always something that’s not critical, but makes the experience of using the program 10x more efficient.

              2. Gitty*

                that’s amazing! I just put in a request to my IT team to upgrade me :) thanks so so much for sharing

    2. Skoobles*

      Based on what you’re describing, wouldn’t it be easier to create custom rules and sort them into specific folders?

      If you right click on an email, you can select “rules” and then “create rule”. This will open a box that contains some sample rules based on the message you picked, but if you click “advanced options” you can create rules based on a huge number of different criteria. Create a rule to send emails to the Bob Bobson folder if they’re from Bob, then a rule to send High Importance emails to the Important (notBob) folder, then a rule to send items with “disaster” in the body to the “disaster emails” folder.

        1. Meg*

          This may not completely solve your problem but if there are certain people who are always important (like your boss) you could set a rule that emails from them are assigned a category. You could then sort by categories.

    3. libellulebelle*

      I don’t know of a way to create custom sorting rules in Outlook. If this is a one-time backlog to sort through, I would suggest doing a series: first you sort by sender and find all of the emails from that specific person you want and file them away into a separate folder. Then you sort by the next category or search on the term you want and file those emails into a separate folder, and so on, category by category. Then going forward, you can try to stay more on top of your email as it comes in, by sorting into folders, using colors to categorize, or whatever tracking and filing system works for you.

    4. ENFP in Texas*

      You can use Rules for that. Right-click on an email, choose “Rules” from the drop-down menu, then either “Create New Rule” or “Manage Alerts & Rules” and you can choose how to flag/note/color/move an email when it comes in.

      For example you could make all emails from Jenny Doe show up in your inbox with bold, green font so you notice/can find them easier. You could send all emails marked “High Importance” into a separate folder that you can check easily, or mark it with a Category that you can then group your inbox by. Ditto for emails with a specific word – have Outlook put them in a Category, then you can group your Inbox by Categories.

      Once you set up your Rules, right-click on an email and select “Rules” again. Under “Manage Rules and Alerts”, click “Run Rules Now” to have them applied to your current folder.

      1. Gitty*

        yes that’s what I want but the end result should be email sort order. any ideas how to do that?

        1. ENFP in Texas*

          Using your example:

          Rule 1 – assign all emails from Jenny Doe to Category “_Jenny” (the underscore will ensure this is at the top of the alphabetical categories list)

          Rule 2 – assign all “High Importance” emails to Category “1_Important”

          Rule 3 – assign all emails with the word “Disaster” in the subject line to category “2_Disaster”

          Run all rules on your mailbox

          Sort your mailbox by Category – you may need to change it from “sort descending” to “sort ascending” to get your categorized emails up top.

          Your emails will be grouped by Category, and then should be in date order within the Category. When new email come in, they will be categorized and show up in those areas.

          1. Gitty*

            Oh wow that is so smart! I know about rules to categorize emails but I never thought of further sorting by category. thank you so much!!

          2. Tinamedte*

            Yay! We have a winner Thanks from someone who didn’t post the question but will be trying out the solution.

        2. clever user name*

          You could use the follow-up flags to set priority and sort that way. Messages from the boss get a “today” flag, messages marked important get a follow up “tomorrow” flag, messages with the word dragon get the “in 7 days” flag, etc. It would all fall apart in a few days though since Outlook will keep recalculating the due date. It took me a while to get used to using multiple folders and lots of rules as others have suggested, but it was life-changing once I did. It was hard to let go of the idea that Inbox=to do list – but that made a huge difference in my productivity and stress level.

          1. Tinamedte*

            This is interesting stuff. When you did make the leap to several folders (I haven’t, yet) — how did you go about deciding what folders to create? Bc I stumble on this very first step, and find it easier to just keep everything in the inbox.

      1. Miss Chanandler Bong*

        Sure! So I started out in IT, had a business administration degree. I figured out very quickly that I hate IT. I took a role in a finance department (AR-type role) and went back to school while working that role. A position on the accounting team opened up, they knew I wanted to pivot over, and I’ve been in accounting ever since. I now work entirely remotely for a publicly traded company.

        For accounting to IT, I imagine that you’d be able to work on some IT certifications and start pivoting over leveraging your accounting expertise. I was able to leverage my IT expertise because the company I was working for was undergoing an ERP transformation and I had experience with that system.

        1. ampersand*

          Which degree(s) did you get when you went back to school? I’m considering becoming an accountant but not sure yet which degree to get.

          My work experience is in accounting-adjacent fields (AP, managing budgets/financial stuff, payroll), while my undergrad degree is in social sciences.

    2. AnonAdmin*

      I have a degree in Accounting – but I’ve been in a different field (not IT) for quite a long time. Is there anything you would recommend for someone looking to refresh their Accounting knowledge?

      1. Miss Chanandler Bong*

        The big thing is that accounting regulations are constantly changing. You can look into CPE courses. These are geared for CPAs who are required to continue their education, but you don’t have to be a CPA to benefit. A lot of them are paid, but some webinars are free.

        There’s also accounting refresher courses out there. When I went back to school, it had been years since I took Principles of Accounting 1 and 2, so I needed a knowledge refresh before jumping into Intermediate Accounting. I took a free course from my local library via Udemy, and LinkedIn has a ton of courses on their catalog as well depending on what you need to refresh your knowledge.

    3. NeedToKeepTheCatFed*

      I’m a mathematics teacher (private schools), been looking at how to get into bookkeeping. I’m organized, detail oriented, not afraid of learning software, math is not a problem, any recommendations for getting my foot in the door?

      1. No Mercy Percy*

        As an accountant myself I’d suggest finding a position as an accounts payable or receivable clerk. It’ll be basic and tedious work but being organized and detail oriented will serve you well. Knock it out of the park and see about taking on more from the accounting person you work with. If you can make them aging reports too that would be helpful. Brush up on accounting basics (how debits and credits work being the biggest one) and you should be in a good spot.

      2. No Mercy Percy*

        One other recommendation I have is knowing how to think like an accountant. Learn the difference between cash basis accounting (how most non accountants look at money) vs accrual basis.

    4. The Constress*

      New accountant here. I need a filing system for the financial statements, AJE, purchase orders, balancing sales to receipts, COGS, cash flow, etc etc etc.

      I wonder if you might have any suggestions. The CFO has really checked out; she’s semi-retired. I see no files in her office to accommodate the paperwork that accounting usually keeps.

  17. df200*

    I’m a chartered project manager based in the UK. Very happy to answer any questions about project management. :-)

    1. varsha10*

      I’m a PMP at a nonprofit – I have never worked with any other PMPs or professional project managers so I’m never really sure if I’m doing it right? Do you use MS Project? How do you set it up? I feel like there are systems out there that I could be using to make things easier but I just don’t know about them.
      I am a member of my local PMI chapter but they’re all part of big PMOs and it’s all very intimidating.

      1. df200*

        Hi varsha10,

        Many thanks for your question – I completely understand that big PMOs can be a bit intimidating: large PMOs tend to have strict governance, lots of processes and to work in a very prescribed way.

        If you work alone or in a smaller team, or in the nonprofit space my advice would be: focus on getting get the basics right. Project Management provides a variety of different tools and techniques – the real trick is to choose the right “tools” for your project.

        As a minimum I suggest you have a schedule, a risk register, an assumptions log and a financial forecast. For the simplest projects these can be separate sheets in an excel workbook (search “Excel RAID Log” on google for some examples). For more complex projects or those with multiple inter-dependencies then you might find a dedicated scheduling tool (like MS Project) invaluable for the scheduling aspect (but, in my experience, you can keep your risks, assumptions and finances in Excel even for more complex projects). I’m a big fan of using simple tools – that way you can focus on the information and the process (i.e. actually managing your project), rather than learning the complexities of a specific software tool.

        There are lots of great “introduction to project management” books available which are probably your best starting point. Hope this helps?

        2. Another PM*

          I second this concept: use the simplest tools possible to cover what you need – I mostly use Thinkcell for timelines and a team OneNote Notebook with a bunch of tabs – and only use MS Project if you absolutely positively have to (it’s a pain!).

    2. betsyohs*

      Do you have any recommendations on resources for training mid-level project managers who manage small projects? I work at a consulting engineering firm, and we’d like to get our junior to mid-level staff more adept at managing their projects (schedule, budget, etc). Project budgets are in the $10k-$100k range (small!). I’m specifically looking for trainings that are not introductory – most of our staff have the basics down, they just need to level up their skills.

      1. df200*

        Hi betsyohs,

        That’s a great question! There are lots of books out there which provide an introduction to the basics of project management (I’ll list a few below in a separate post). Intermediate / advanced books (suitable for people who already understand the basics) tend to be topic-specific – i.e. they focus on one specific aspect of project management (stakeholder management, risk management, scheduling etc.)

        A couple of more ‘intermediate’ books that have helped me include:
        > “Brilliant Checklists For Project Managers” by Richard Newton
        > “Planning, Scheduling, Monitoring and Control (The Practical Management of Time, Cost and Risk)” published by the Association For Project Management

        If there are specific areas where you can see room for improvement, you might find that on-the-job coaching is more successful than book recommendations. In a previous team I set up a “Project Management Academy” which worked really well:

        > Members were asked to commit to completing 35hrs of professional development per year (not onerous because this is required by my organisation anyway).

        In return they got access to:
        > A MS Teams site with details of forthcoming events and curated links to useful content.
        > A monthly e-mail newsletter highlighting forthcoming training opportunities (Proj Mgmt events run by my organisation and the local branch of the Association for Project Management) & news.
        > Access to a range of carefully selected books on project management and leadership.
        > Training events (or “lunch and learns”) just for Academy Members – tailored to the subjects that our members request (mostly led by me).
        > An experienced Proj Mgmt mentor to help guide their Proj Mgmt development.

        Most of this could be delivered at low / nil cost drawing on my existing network of expertise throughout the business, and only took a couple of hours/week to arrange in addition to my “day job”.

        Hope that helps?

      2. df200*

        Hi betsyohs,

        That’s a great question! There are lots of entry-level project management books which cover the basics (I particularly like “Effective Project Management” by John Carroll). But if you’re looking for more intermediate books (for those who already know the basics) they tend to be topic-specific. I.e. they’ll give a deep-dive into a specific project management topic, like Risk Management, Stakeholder Management, or Scheduling – rather than an overview of project management as a whole.

        A couple of more intermediate books that have helped me:
        “Brilliant Checklists for Project Managers” by Richard Newton
        “Planning, Scheduling, Monitoring and Control (the practical project management of time, cost and risk)” by the Association for Project Management

        If you’re working with people who already know the basics you may find that on-the-job coaching is more effective than reading a book – this will allow you to target specific areas for improvement.

        In a previous job I set up a “Project Management Academy”. I asked members to commit to doing 35hrs of professional development per year (not overly onerous because that was already the expectation of our wider organisation) and in return they got…

        -Access to a MS Teams site with details of forthcoming events and curated links to useful content (both on our intranet and on the internet).
        -A monthly e-mail newsletter highlighting forthcoming training opportunities (internal events and events put on by our local branch of the Association for Project Management)
        -Access to my collection of books on project management and leadership
        -Training events put on just for members of the academy (approx. one hour-long event every 6-8 weeks) in direct response to their requests
        -An experienced mentor to help guide their development / answer any questions related to delivery of their projects.

        All this could be provided a low / nil cost using my existing network of contacts across the business. Overall it took a couple of hours a week on top of my “day job” but paid dividends in terms of the development of my team.

        Hope that helps?

    3. Ostrich Herder*

      Any advice on getting people to buy in to having an actual structure around projects? I don’t have any formal PM qualifications but a lot of what I do could fall under the ‘project management’ umbrella. I work in a small, casual org and no one here is good about sticking to a system, which leads to a lot of “oh, I thought YOU were doing that!” and “wait, I thought X was already done!” because there’s no central way of tracking what’s needed, who’s doing it, and whether it’s done.

      1. df200*

        Hi Ostrich Herder,

        I feel your pain! Even in an organisation with a strong project-management culture, it is still really tough to herd everyone in the same direction and avoid this sort of confusion.

        My normal approach would be to have a project management plan that clearly sets out: the aim, benefits, background, scope, exclusions, boundaries, delivery approach, milestones, dependencies, safety issues, equality considerations, stakeholders, assumptions, risks, estimated costs, and schedule for the project.

        I’d talk to my stakeholder when I create the plan, then invite everyone to a kick-off meeting where I walk them step-by-step through the plan (by the kick-off meeting, this should be old-news: everyone should already understand the part that they have to play in successfully delivering the project). At the end of the meeting, ask everyone to sign the plan to confirm that they understand their role and that the believe it’s deliverable. There’s something about that act of physically signing the plan that somehow brings it home to people that they being asked to commit to the plan. I often find that people are nodding their heads all the way through the meeting then, when you ask them to sign up to what’s been discussed, they suddenly get very furtive and nervous – so it’s worth being clear up-front that you’ll be asking them to sign-up to it!

        From then on it’s a case of chasing people to ensure they’re playing their part and giving you what you need in a timely manner. A written schedule (regularly updated) in either Excel or MS Project can be a valuable tool to track who has done what and when (and help give you early warning if you’re falling behind).

        Hope this helps?

        1. Ostrich Herder*

          Thank you so much for such a detailed and insightful answer! The signoff sounds especially useful in my case. There are some culture issues at play, and as a result I waste a lot of time convincing people that things are their responsibility and not someone else’s. A signoff process would help create a lot more accountability. And then I can use it at a checklist for tracking progress towards what needs to be done, which will be great for keeping me organized, too. Thanks again!

      2. Another PM*

        Gather everyone’s pain points first, either through one on ones or messaging. Then build solutions to these frustrations into your process. This both gets everyone invested in the process AND in you as a person who can make their lives easier.

        During the roll out, a lot of reminders that it will be harder up front and then faster and less painful later. You can also say that we are going to try it now and then check back in and do a v2.0 to see what was helpful and what was too cumbersome.

        Also, really focus on the smallest amount of process you need to solve the problems. Personalities who become PMs like process more than most and our tolerance for a lot of it is higher, so it’s important to repeatedly ask yourself if that process is actually beneficial to everyone or you just prefer it.

    4. sushirolls*

      Is the PMP worth it? I’ve been working as a Project/Program Manager for over 5 years but with no formal training. I moved into the role after being a Coordinator for about the same number of years. I have taken one-day/week long courses here and there but have always been intrigued by the PMP. Even if not practically useful, do potential employers value a PMP?

      1. df200*

        Hi sushirolls,

        I can’t speak for the PMP qualification specifically (my organisation tends to follow the Association for Project Management qualification route) but in general terms I think that qualifications and courses can often provide useful context for on-the-job experience: filling in any gaps and providing a logical framework to help connect your experiences together.

        I also think that some qualifications or professional accolades (like being a chartered project professional, for example) can be a useful “short cut” when applying for jobs – a way of quickly explaining to the recruiter what level you’re operating at. If I tell a potential employer that I’m a chartered project professional then they instantly know that I am capable of managing and delivering complex projects (of course, I still need to back that up with my CV, but it helps them form a view of me as an individual). Hopefully it also tells them that I’m someone who takes my professional development seriously and is always willing to learn.

        My organisation keeps threatening to make certain qualifications mandatory for more senior roles (i.e. no matter how much experience you have, you wouldn’t be able to apply if you don’t hold qualification ‘X’ or equivalent). They keep stopping short of actually implementing this policy though – perhaps because there are so many different qualifications out there and perhaps because many of our senior project managers don’t have the qualifications they’re looking for and so would be barred from applying for promotion!

        Hope this helps?

      2. Honor Harrington*

        If df200 doesn’t mind, I’ll add on here. In the US, having a PMP is often listed as a job requirement or +, and will almost always make it easier to get an interview. It helps open the door to hiring managers.

        Personally, I don’t think it teaches valuable skills. It’s “book learning.” But because PMI validates your professional experience as a PM as part of the cert granting process, hiring managers are used to thinking it means you are legit.

        1. df200*

          Honor Harrington,

          Very happy for others to wade-in to the debate – especially where they’ve got more relevant knowledge! I’m very conscious that my experience is UK-based and many AAM readers are based in the US – so good to have a US perspective. I /think/ I’m right in saying that the Project Management Institute is a US organisation – which might explain why PMP is more prevalent in the US (though some UK project managers do follow the PMI route)?

        2. Another PM*

          “Personally, I don’t think it teaches valuable skills. It’s “book learning.” But because PMI validates your professional experience as a PM as part of the cert granting process, hiring managers are used to thinking it means you are legit.”

          Fully agree! My kind of PMing doesn’t require it but I have read the book and it is like if a computer were to describe our jobs. I have never referred to it since.

      3. AC*

        PMP here, absolutely worth it. It’s still a highly sought after designation at least in North America, and absolutely a requirement for many jobs. You learn both technical project management and general management and leadership skills. The leadership skills alone are incredibly valuable. Maintaining my PMP also forces me to keep taking courses, seminars, sharing knowledge, etc which has been invaluable for me.

    5. Sandi*

      I do a lot of project management in my current job, but I don’t have any formal courses. If I want to continue with this type of work at a different company then is it possible to find good jobs without the official letters and paperwork? My work tends to be higher-level, so deciding which projects to fund and keeping an eye on how they are managed individually, so more a program manager than projects. I’m not sure if that’s sufficient to be hired into project management specifically, or if I’d be more likely to need a PMP or similar.

      If you could project manage for any industry, then what would be your favorite one? I’m likely to move back into a more technical role when I leave my current job, so I’m not sure if I want to have a PM-specific job, but I’m curious to learn more about some options if you have the time to share.

      1. df200*

        Hi Sandi,

        Many thanks for your question. It’s definitely possible to find project management jobs at different companies without formal project management qualifications, BUT you might find that these are more “entry level” type roles. In my experience, anything other than an entry-level role will often ask for a basic qualification in project management as a minimum (in the UK they’ll often ask for “Prince2”). Your best bet is probably to look at a few job adverts and see what qualifications they ask for. Ultimately, whilst the qualification might be a pre-requisite, like any job it’ll be your knowledge and experience (and how you present it in your application) that’ll secure you an interview.

        I’ve worked for 20 years for the same employer in the defence industry so I’m not well-placed to advise on different sectors but I can say that the most interesting job I’ve done was procuring bomb-disposal robots. :-)

        I think project management skills are very transferrable so even if you don’t pursue a career as a ‘pure’ project manager, the skills you’ve picked up will serve you well in a variety of future roles.

        Hope that helps?

      2. Another PM*

        In my field (pharma & biotech), the higher up you get, the less anyone cares about PMP certification. You have proved you can PM by actually doing the job and that is much more important than demonstrating you have read a book.

        Usually what I see is people wanting to get into PMing get their PMP, or someone who has a little bit of project management in their job and wants more of it (say, someone in contracting who has taken on project managing a new system roll out and would rather be a PM full time, to have both a little bit of experience and the PMP stamp of approval and investment).

        1. Sandi*

          Thanks, this has been my experience where I moved over from a senior technical role and no one was worried about my lack of courses because I did well with it quickly. Based on df200’s response and yours, it sounds like it’s worth it to check out other potential jobs and see what my options are. Thank you both!

  18. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

    I can help with questions about cat fostering–both kittens and cats that need socialization (esp. for fear of people). I’m also pretty solid on running a college student book club.

    1. Cookies for Breakfast*

      I’d love some cat fostering advice! My partner and I have had two female siblings for 3 weeks now, and we’re not sure how to help them overcome fear of people. We’ve fostered before; in all other situations, even cats that started out extremely shy gained full confidence and began showing affection within the first 2-3 weeks. These two refuse all human contact, aside from circling around us when we bring their food bowls.

      The progress they make on other things is nice. They’re comfortable exploring the entire house in the same way as the other cats were. They enjoy their food and treats we try to bribe them with (they were barely eating the first week, out of stress I imagine). They play with each other at night, and also engage with toys we give them now and then. They relax in their cat tree and cat beds, though the moment one of us approaches to try and take a photo or sit nearby, they run away. We’re not sure how to help them get from here to a point where they’re happy to be approached and touched, and feel like they can relax around us.

      1. mli0531*

        Truth is, some cats just aren’t that into humans. If possible, try to just sit there (play on your phone, read, whatever). Let them come to you. Let them sniff you (just like you would a dog). Try to cut off hiding places (we close doors to rooms). Patience, patience, patience. I also like talking to the cats (hi sweetie, hi handsome boy/sweet girl, etc). I think it helps associate humans with positive sounds.

      2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        Well, I think you’ve been doing the right things. Some cats just take much longer, and I honestly think when it’s two cats who are scared together, it’s harder to help them, because they reinforce each other’s fears sometimes. We had a pair of siblings like you describe a few months ago, and it took them 2 full months to really get comfortable with us–and one never did get comfortable being picked up. But helping them be less scared is definitely doable–just might take you much more time than it has previously.

        A couple things to keep in mind–try to keep yourself “small” when you approach them–don’t walk over to them for pets in a way that towers over them. Sit on the floor when you can. Reach out palms down, fingers closed so your hands look less like claws about to attack.

        Other things to start trying–whatever toys are their favorite, those only come out when one of you is around. And when you’re around, actively play with them with those toys. If there is a wand toy they like (or if you haven’t tried wand toys yet, get one), play with them until they are tired/very distracted playing with the toy. Over the course of a few days, get the wand toy closer and closer to you. Sit with your legs sticking out, and get them to chase the wand toy in a way that makes them need to run over your legs–they’ll probably balk at first, but eventually will want the toy enough to do it. Don’t try to pet them then–let them know that running over your legs is an interaction they’re in control of, especially the first few times. Once they’re running over your legs without hesitation, then start trying to have the toy stop in a spot where it’s close enough for them to pounce/catch it *and* for you to sneak in a quick pet of their back/head/side. Continue playing like this over several days until they let you pet them without shying away.

        If they’re more treat motivated, then treats are only for when they’re choosing to interact with you. Try sitting on the floor and creating a line of treats that lead to your foot or your leg. Get them comfortable eating a treat next to you. Once they are, then try a line of treats leading *onto* you. A single treat on your leg. If they eat it, replace it and see if they eat it then. Once they’re comfortable doing that, repeat, slowly moving the treat to different places on you. See if you can pet them while they eat the treat. All of this might take a few days, or it might not; either way, repeat this process until they’re comfortable approaching you for a treat and let you pet them when they eat it.

        Try to pet them and interact with them when they’re eating, but try to do it in steps over several days–you want them to associate people/petting with the things they like, including food. Start with just sitting near them while they eat. Then reach a hand near them. Then try petting them. Once they’re more comfortable with you petting their back/head/tail, then you can work on petting sides/neck/and eventually the belly (as they’re standing, not while they’re laying down), or getting them to get in your lap (you can probably use treats for this, too).

        Start with one hand petting before you try petting with two hands. Once they’re okay with two hands petting, you can try picking up, but only a little bit–practically just a scoot instead of picking up. Once they’re okay with that, then maybe a quick pick-up/scoot into your lap, or to your side. The most important thing is to never rush them, and if they react badly to something, just go back a couple steps from where you were and start over. Let them build trust that you’re not going to push them too fast, and that if you do, you’re going to back off for a bit.

        It’s very possible that one of the cats will do better with these steps faster than the other, and that’s okay–they will be a bridge for the other cat to see that it’s okay. They may also do better with one of you than the other, and that’s okay, too. If you haven’t tried using Churu lick sticks as a treat, you might want to try those, because they are a game changer in terms of getting frightened cats used to being near people’s hands.

        I hope this helps! Feel free to email me if you need more advice.

      3. Human Embodiment of the 100 Emoji*

        I’ve also fostered quite a few cats/kittens. How old are they? If they’re fully grown, I personally believe socialization is still possible, but it may take literal years. Growing up, one of our cats we rescued as a young adult was anti-social for about 3 or 4 years before she finally relaxed and would sit in laps/let people pet her.

        If they’re still kittens/younger, I highly recommend purritos (literally swaddling them up in a blanket and holding them like a baby) or keeping them in a smaller room without places they can run and hide from human interaction. The purrito worked really well on a slightly older (3-4 months) foster kitten I had that was still terrified of me two weeks into fostering.

    2. Forty Feet*

      I’ll be bringing in a new foster home on Friday. I have a 12 year old cat who was a foster-fail 9 years ago. I know the basics of slow introducing the cats: separate parts of the house to start, using items to swap scents, greeting through doors, etc. but I’m wondering if you have any additional tips or tricks that help with introductions?

      1. mli0531*

        I am a cat foster of 4 years (we have a “foster win” of our own, who we were suppose to keep for 3 days but its been 2+ years). Try to keep the introduction in a neutral part of the house (so the foster has a safe space to return afterwards). Bring a couple of toys into the intro space, as they can be used for distracting. Keep the initial introduction short (5-10 mins) and increase the amount of time over time. Allow the foster cat time to explore without granting full, permanent access (like being out while the humans are home and awake only for a couple of days). Bottom line: go slow (it takes at least a week to fully integrate a cat) and pay attention to the cues you are getting from your cat and the foster cat.

        1. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

          All of this is good. I also like to use treats as a distraction when they’re first meeting. A

          Another thing to do is to swap spaces for an hour or two after the first day; let the household cat go into the foster cat’s room, and the foster cat go into the rest of the house, that way they can both smell each other.

          Though I will say that most of my cat fostering is done keeping my fosters entirely separate from my household cats because that’s what the group I work with requires–with kittens, it’s because they have weaker immune systems, and with regular cats, it’s to keep the focus just on the foster cat’s needs when we’re interacting with them. It’s easier on everyone because the foster cats have time and safe space away from everyone, and our household cats don’t have to reacclimated to new cats all the time. We converted our guest room into our foster cat room (replaced the queen bed with a twin that no one can hide under/inside), so they have a big space that’s all cat-ified and their own.

      2. Another Lawyer*

        Also a foster of several years with 3 cats of my own. Adding to the excellent advice above, my cats are friendly and my house is small, so most of my fosters do end up meeting my cats – BUT I would strongly suggest a 1-2 week quarantine period, even if the cat appears healthy when they arrive (I vary depending on whether the new foster has come straight from the shelter/street, whether they’ve already been in foster for a while, etc). Ringworm, for example, can take 2 weeks to show up (ask me how I know…). During this time the foster can acclimate to their new surroundings, and hear/smell my cats through the door. When it is time for intros, I have a Feliway plugin in my office/foster room, which is supposed to help by releasing pheromones that encourage multicat friendliness. I also have these clear plastic panels from Amazon (brand is Tespo) that I will use to block the door but allow the cats to engage with and see each other at first but still be separated, if the foster seems interested. And remember that some hissing/swatting to establish boundaries is normal and ok if they otherwise seem interested/calm!

    3. Em from CT*

      My sister and I (we live together) would love to foster kittens or cats, but my sister has a lot of beautiful rugs and she is reluctant to get a cat who will scratch them! Is there any way to ask to foster a cat who has been declawed? (We would never DO that to a cat, but if someone already did…) Or can we train a cat not to scratch carpets? So far we’ve never managed with our current cat… it’s a good thing I got my current sofa for $20 at a garage sale, because the cat certainly hasn’t respected the upholstery. *g*

      1. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        I don’t know that there are any ways to specifically foster declawed cats, since the practice is fortunately becoming less common (and thankfully outlawed in some states). You can definitely say that you would be willing to foster a declawed cat–they’re much more prone to biting because they have no other “weapon” to defend themselves with, so some people don’t always want to foster them. But they also tend to adopt out quickly when they do show up, unless they’re elderly.

        As for the clawing, different cats have different preferences, honestly. We have a “sacrificial” chair for our household cats, combined with double-sided tape on the one corner of one couch that one of our cats was interested in as a kitten. Usually, if you have enough scratching alternatives to direct the cat to, you can mostly keep them from clawing furniture/carpet, but carpet is definitely more tempting to them. Ours have the chair, plus several cat trees, a few cardboard scratchers, and that’s generally been enough. Our foster cat room has cat trees, cardboard scratchers, and no carpet, because it’s easier to keep clean and sanitize between fosters.

        You could maybe try fostering pregnant cats/kittens, and have a designated room for them, as mama cats like having a smallish space they feel secure in, and usually you don’t want a bunch of kittens wandering around everywhere anyways. That way you could limit the rugs/furniture they have access to. Even a fairly small room, as long as it’s quiet and safe, is usually going to be a better place for mama and kittens than a cage in a shelter or rescue, and doing so frees up a space for a cat that’s already able to be up for adoption.

        2. Prof*

          Especially if you get them young, you can train cats to not scratch your things and to use scratch pads. If they go after the wrong thing, you move them to their scratch pad and praise them. We managed to do this so well that our girl (who damages nothing), trots over to her scratch pad whenever we come home (we still praise her for this).

    4. Put the Blame on Edamame*

      What questions do I need to ask myself before fostering a cat? what are the practical aspects I might overlook? Thanks for this thread, fascinating!

      1. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        Let’s see…
        -What experience do you already have with cats? Are you comfortable with cats in general? Are you going to be able to handle daily or even twice daily litter box scooping? Do you have other pets/cats, and are you planning on them interacting with the fosters or not (personally, it’s easier and safer for everyone if you keep them separated)?

        -What shelter/rescue are you going to work with? What are their rules, and are you okay with those rules?

        -How much free time will you have to spend with the fosters? Are you looking to foster bottle babies (huge commitment as they need feeding every 3-5 hours, 24/7 for the first few weeks), pregnant cats/mamas with kittens, or cats that need socializing? How patient are you with cats, and are you okay if they are slow to warm up to you?

        -Costs–you will do more laundry than you expect. Pregnant cats/mama cats & kittens need to eat good quality kitten food, which is more expensive. Kitten formula for bottle babies is also expensive. Some rescues help with that, some don’t. Things will get broken/torn up unexpectedly, especially if the fosters have full run of the house.

        -Travel-Do you like to leave town for a couple of days here and there, because when you have fosters, you can’t go at the drop of a hat–at minimum you need to be there in the morning and the evening each day. If you’re fostering bottle babies, that kitten has to go everywhere with you if you’re gone longer than 3 hours, including work. I love traveling, but I schedule it between fosters now. Kitten season, when fosters are most needed, is at its height in May-June, which are big travel times for a lot of people. In most cases, you’ll be fostering for 8-10 weeks at a time.

        And the real question when it comes to fostering–will you be able to give them back to the rescue/shelter when they’re ready to find their real furever home? Is there a particular kind of cat (temperment/etc.) that you might be prone to foster-failing with, and if so, are you going to be able to tell the rescue/shelter that you shouldn’t foster that kind? My spouse and I have found that litters of kittens are actually easiest to not foster-fail with, because we like all of them and there’s no way we can keep a whole litter and continue fostering. Single kittens and single or 2 sibling fosters are the most dangerous for foster failing, because you get a lot more attached because they are so dependent on you for everything. You always want to remember that if you have your own household cats/pets, you need to keep their needs in mind, too, and not take on so much that you end up not giving them enough attention.

        One thing that helps me not foster-fail is that I also volunteer at our shelter, so I see the cats I’ve fostered get adopted, usually within a couple weeks of going up for adoption, and it helps to know that I’ve helped them find a new home, and having done so, that giving them back so they can get adopted means I can keep helping more cats find their homes in the future. Foster failing for me means that I will have to stop fostering. And foster failing isn’t a tragedy–not everyone is meant to foster a series of cats! But if you want to foster as a way to help the most cats over time, remind yourself that you’re like a mama bird or a teacher helping prepare them for their lives out in the rest of the world, and they’re not meant to stay with you.

      2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        Also–it’s rare, but can happen–how prepared are you for dealing with illness or even death of a foster cat?

        We had one litter that picked up ringworm at the shelter when we took them for their last round of shots(hiiiighly contagious for kittens, but doesn’t show visibly for up to two weeks; the tech who gave them their shots washed her hands/etc., but forgot to take off the jacket she’d worn into the quarantine room), and we had to do 5 extra weeks of fostering which included daily meds, ointment 2x daily, and weekly baths of five kittens AND their mother. We were scrupulous about changing clothes, wearing gloves, etc., and one of our adult cats still managed to get it (pretty sure it was because she kept sticking her face under the foster room’s door to sniff at the kittens), which meant doing all of that with her, too, and isolating her from our other two cats.

        It was only the second litter we’d fostered, and it was *rough*. It’s one reason we keep fosters separate, and why we actually have two baby gates blocking the doorway inside and the doorway outside, as a sort of fence to keep everyone from being tempted to paw under the doors. It was a crazy, not common situation, but it is common enough to need to give fosters meds, so that’s something you need to be semi-comfortable with. Oh, and you may need a scale for weighing, to both give the right doses *and* to keep track of kitten weights to make sure everyone’s eating enough.

    5. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      I could definitely use your advice! I adopted a bonded pair of (non-sibling) kittens a few years ago. One was brave and friendly and the other was extremely shy. The brave one would try stuff, the shy one would see it was OK and try it a while later. Shy kitty has blossomed into a lovely cat. The only challenge is that there are only 3 people she’s OK with: me and two neighbours. Since they’re COVID kitties, they haven’t really had any interaction with people in our house.

      The landord and his daughter came by to do some repairs a while back and I decided to take the opportunity to try to socialize them a bit more. Brave Kitty was cautious, but came out for some churu and became besties with the daughter within like 10 minutes. Shy Kitty hid under the bed until 20 minutes after they left. (Obviously, I didn’t try to grab her).

      Is there anything I can do to help Shy Kitty? I managed to get a previous cat sorta comfortable with other people, but Shy Kitty is proving to need a little extra to maybe get there.

      1. lina*

        She may never get there, and that’s okay. My Chocolate is 13 now, and still dashes under the bed at the first hint of a stranger in the house; five minutes after they’re gone, she’s right back on the living room couch. Now that she’s deaf, she will sometimes come out to the top of the stairs if I have company over for a long time – she can’t hear them so she thinks they are gone – but she dashes back under the bed as soon as she sees them.

        1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

          Thanks for this. I get that there are limits – she’s never going to turn into Brave Kitty, and that’s OK. My concern is that if I ever move in with a partner, she’ll never come out.

          1. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

            Usually kitties will get used to whoever they’re around the most. They are also bravest when they own their space, so if you move to a new place, it will probably take her longer to adjust to that *and* a new person, as opposed to if someone moves in with you. Mainly, if you do ever live with a new partner, make sure that partner knows to let Shy Kitty have her space and interact with them on Shy Kitty’s timeline. It’s when you force interaction that it becomes problematic and harder to get the cat to come around eventually.
            My spouse’s cat (he truly adores my spouse, but tolerates me, even though I have been around since he was a kitten) has literally backtracked upon coming into a room with friends we had over that he didn’t know, but if people are over for an extended time and as long as they don’t try and chase him, he’ll come into the room we’re in, or at least the adjacent room eventually. Different cats just have different tolerances for people they don’t actually live with, and a lot of it stems from the interactions they have (or don’t have) when they’re young, but some of it is just their own personality.

    6. Karma is My Boyfriend*

      Omggggg my two recent adoptees haaaaaattteees me! Both will run away or wake up from a sleep if I even take one step towards them. One at least comes to me when I’m laying down for pets and cuddles, and the other I can tell desperately wants to do the same, but doesn’t. He will sneakily sleep by my at night. Help to make them less scaredy cats??

      1. Prof*

        you’re doing great! a cat being willing to sleep by you is a sign of trust. Just be patient and let them come to you

      2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        You just need to be patient! If they’ll come up to you when you’re laying down/asleep, they will come around eventually. Just don’t try to force them to accept pets or be picked up. You have to show them that you respect their space and back off, and let them come to you. Also, if you’re approaching them in a way that puts you above them or towering over them, try sitting instead. Remember, we’re basically giants to them, and that can be intimidating. That’s probably why they’re coming to you for pets/snuggling when you’re laying down or asleep–you are a lot less intimidating when you’re on their level, so to speak.

        Now, the way to get them to come to you might be different for each of them, but try treats or playing with a wand toy the way I described above to the person who’s fostering 2 siblings that are still shy after a few weeks. I would do the playing and the treats while sitting down. You could also try a line of treats including over your legs to get them to walk on you as another way to get them used to being around you when you’re sitting.

        Baby steps are key–once a cat is comfortable with one step, then try the next. Get them used to being near you. *Then* try to get them used to you reaching out for pets, or even just for them to sniff your hand. Then try petting.

        With cats that came from a shelter environment, they might be more skittish about being pet on the head/neck area, since that’s where they’re scruffed to get meds/examined/etc. safely by staff. Aim for petting their back, sides, or even just their tail first. Make sure they’re very comfortable with being pet with one hand before you try petting with two hands (because that is going to make them think they’re about to be picked up or scruffed).

        Patience, patience, patience.

  19. Not Tom, Just Petty*

    EXCEL QUESTION:
    Can I freeze the top row and the left column at the same time?
    Thank you.

      1. the one who got away*

        Oh, I should add — you can do this in any place where you want to freeze everything to the left of *and* everything above the cell in question.

    3. No Mercy Percy*

      Yes! Select cell B2, then go to View on the top ribbon. Select Freeze Panes, then Freeze Panes again from the drop down.

      1. A Genuine Scientician*

        To expand on this, you can freeze multiple rows / columns. Instead of clicking on cell B2, go to the first row/column combination you want to NOT be frozen, and choose the Freeze Panes option there.

        So, for example, doing so in cell D3 would mean you always see columns A, B, and C, and you always see rows 1 and 2, but everything else scrolls.

    4. CG*

      Yes! Click the “1” to highlight the top row, hold down ctrl, and then click the “A” to also highlight the first column. Then go to View -> Freeze Panes -> “Freeze Panes” (first option). That will free anything you’ve selected. (This also works for freezing multiple rows or columns.) It doesn’t work amazingly with scrolling – you get a bit more frozen than you want, but it includes the part you want, at any rate!

    5. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Thanks to all for replying. And thanks to others for not making me feel like the only one!

    6. numbers lady*

      yes! place your cursor in the cell in the corner below those two rows and hit freeze panes. Anything to the left and above that cell will be frozen :)

    7. Msd*

      When I’m trying to figure out how to do something in Microsoft excel/word I can usually find the answer by googling my question. Just go to google and type in “how do I ……in excel ”

      1. SarahKay*

        And to add to that – a colleague of mine who does a lot of clever stuff in excel has apparently been asking Chat GPT for excel answers and formulae.
        He says you have to check that the answer or formula is correct but that it’s usually a really good starting point.
        He says he doesn’t let it view his excel sheet (our company is very definite about No Company Data Shared With AI!) but just describes the problem to it.

      2. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        Every time I googled, it took me a video that was at least five minutes long. Or to a Quora result that began with, “create a macro.” Microsoft’s Excel page showed me how to do top OR side. I kept looking for a quick link, but there was no, “hey, put the cursor in B2 (or where needed) and select Freeze Panes.”
        I was SO frustrated!

          1. Troubadour*

            I much prefer text too, but if video’s the only option it often helps me to:
            a) change the speed to 2x,
            b) turn on captions, and
            c) hit the right arrow to skip forward rapidly until I can find the spot where they’re actually giving the answer instead of burbling on with an unnecessary introduction.

    8. Em from CT*

      A picky detail: you might need to unfreeze panes and then refreeze them using this tip if someone has already frozen e.g only the top row!

    9. Caz*

      Adding to all the advice that has been given – the keyboard shortcut for this (how I love my keyboard shortcuts) is alt-W-F-enter (and has been since at least office 2010, despite specific menus changing!)

    10. Sassy SAAS*

      Adding to everyone else… sometimes you can only freeze the top row/first column from the excel program, not the web version. I often have to open the file in excel to freeze what needs to be frozen, before going back to the web version (since I’m working on shared docs)

  20. Intrinsically Knotted*

    Question for somebody with expertise in…social work, I guess? How does one go about finding a social worker/getting access to things like a group home or other services, on behalf of a distant relation? I anticipate this becoming necessary in the next few years, but I don’t even know the right questions to ask, or what level of help I could get/provide when the relation is both physically distant and is living with her mother who ought to be figuring these things out herself.

        1. Jay (no, the other one)*

          I’m a hospice doc who has worked in geriatrics/palliative care for 15+ years and I didn’t know about 211. THANK YOU.

    2. Daryush*

      Hi! Generally clients are referred by a patient’s PCP or show up on risk list as the result of a hospital stay. Getting a social worker isn’t really a matter of just saying, “I want one,” generally you’ll also have specific needs that social work can help you meet: food/housing instability, maintaining active insurance coverage, some programs set up to help people living with certain chronic diseases.

      If your relative’s PCP is part of a larger health system, I would start there. Specific thing to mention might be concerns around stable housing or food, if this applies. If your relative has a medical condition, the health system (or city/state) may have specific case management programs. I’m most familiar with programs for HIV and diabetes, but I’m sure there others. Access would be through your relative’s PCP, or contact your city health department/look at the website.

      Since you aren’t your relative’s caretaker, all you can really do here is research and make suggestions to her mother. Social work can’t accomplish anything without buy-in from the patient/caretaker.

    3. Former Mental Health professional*

      I second the call to 211, but also look at the county website. They may have resources online or if they are very rural at least the number and office location where you could find more information about what might be available. If this person is getting medical care there may be a social worker at the hospital who could get them materials to apply or info about eligibility for services.

    4. Rage*

      Like Dayrush said, since you aren’t the guardian, you are going to be very limited in what you can do, but to do research you will need to narrow things down a bit:
      1. What state does the individual live in?
      2. Does the individual have a disability? If so, what is it?
      3. How old is the individual?
      4. Is the individual already receiving services (either through private health insurance, Medicaid, SSI/disability)? Does she have a case manager?
      5. What are the parent’s wishes with regard to her daughter? Does she have things set up for when she passes away (guardianship, trust, etc.)?

      I’m assuming she has a disability of some type, since you mentioned group home, so a good resource is going to be the local Disability Services Office.

    5. Miss Chanandler Bong*

      My brother is disabled (autistic) and getting him services has been like pulling teeth. He’s been out of high school for a year and we finally got him into a day program last week. If you anticipate this might be necessary, I wouldn’t wait; I’d look into starting the process. Housing can take at least a year. On the off chance that your relative is experiencing abuse, call the emergency line for her state. Unfortunately, abuse among the disabled is far too frequent. For this reason, if you can get her closer to you or you can go to her, I highly recommend it. We’ve been through two caregivers with my brother sadly.

      Your services will vary by state. My state has two departments, a department of adult social services and a department of disability services. Both are involved in my brother’s case.

    6. Anna*

      It’s also worth checking your local library for information. Lots of them keep lists of local resources for all kinds of things. Some libraries even have their own social workers now.

    7. emk*

      I support a program called Aging and Disability Resource Centers (ADRCs). Some states also call this a No Wrong Door program.

      It works like 211 (community resource hotline) but they have a lot more specific expertise in connecting folks to resources for older adults and people with disabilities – which sounds like it applies to your relative. They can help you figure out what to do for your specific situation, possibly including navigating a difficult family situation. They will be based in the state/county/region your relative lives, you should be able to find a phone number on google.

    8. Hedgehug*

      In Canada you can also use 211.

      You can try Googling services in your area, check community hall website, church websites, city hall. This could be food banks, food hampers, rental or utility assistance, etc.

      There is grocery assistance programs as well for physically driving people to the store or to get prescriptions. Palliative Care does this too if there is a decent one in the area you are looking for.

      Medical and care aid all the above might be able to help, but doctor clinics can help too with information if home care is needed, etc.

    9. RavCS*

      Hospice chaplain here. Depending on your relative’s age, their local Council on Aging may have resources and referrals. Many of our home patients have worked with their town’s Elder Services and may already have help in place before we come in. Other times we make the referral. Some costs are covered, if not there is usually a sliding scale. In my state, they have to be living at home for Elder Services (no institutional setting or Assisted Living Residence.) This may be helpful before a group home or other facility is needed. It may also be helpful for your relative’s mother if she can use assistance.
      And, as others have noted, you may be able to do the research, but your relative’s mother will have to be the person to carry this forward.

      1. PivotTime*

        Can I ask how you made the switch from librarianship to another field? I’m going from academic librarianship to the legal field and kind of floundering on taking the specialized skills you learn as a librarian and making them apply to non-library work.

        1. FormerLibrarian*

          So, not gonna lie, it didn’t hurt that I’m also parked on an MBA that I wasn’t using. :)

          Beyond that, what ended up working for me was thinking about what I wanted to do, and the KSAs from the jobs I wanted to apply for, and going really hard at targeting my experiences at those things. For every bullet on a job ad, I combed my own experiences for something that illustrated I had those skills, and really aimed my resume at those points. “It’s a marketing document, not your encyclopedia entry” was written in bold on my monitor.

    2. sushirolls*

      I don’t know if it’s the pandemic or just being an insecure millenial, but I have lost the ability to communicate professionally. I work in research and moved from a less sciency/more policy-oriented team to a very science-heavy team in 2021 and am struggling to keep up with the jargon and science speak. At first I thought that everything was so wildly over my head and I was not nearly as smart as everyone else on the team. But after like a year of active listening I realize that I do understand what they are talking about, but they use (sometimes unnecessarily) complicated terms in place of simple ones. Because Science. So while I don’t agree with doing this, I think I need to in order to keep up and gain respect/or at least be seen as someone with any credibility.

      1. Diatryma*

        Have you considered doing the opposite? A reputation for communicating ‘difficult’ concepts clearly and without condescension– a reputation for being the person people understand– can go a long way.

        1. FormerLibrarian*

          In my experience, which I’ll stress has very little to do with any scientific/technical fields, communication complexity should be roughly equivalent to specificity. So where that jargon is needed in order to clearly communicate something very specific, like what temperature to set the autoclave to(?), go for it, whereas with lunch plans, “about noon” is enough. So modulating to the situation is entirely appropriate.

    3. not applicable*

      In your talented opinion, when you edit a policy is it better to be strict when documenting it or flexible?

      My company recently pivoted from one way of operating to a much looser paradigm, but documentation of that new process is even looser. Because of that, we’re running into a bunch of things that aren’t /explicitly/ covered by the guiding docs and thus are “okay” and “just part of the job”. Is that just a symptom of updating policy?

      Also in running meetings, how do you encourage shyer people to interact/people to give meaningful inputs in the meeting?

      1. FormerLibrarian*

        Policies can have one or both of these focuses:
        – A thing needs to happen (or not happen)
        – A thing needs to happen *in this specific way.*

        A policy is never going to explicitly cover everything that a job or procedure entails, so flexibility there is key. Save the strict policies for when the method matters as much as the results.

        To your other question, I find the best way to encourage them to interact is to provide multiple channels for contribution. That way, hopefully everyone has a contribution channel that works for them. You won’t get anywhere useful by cajoling them into participating using channels they aren’t comfortable in.
        (I’d also encourage them to follow up with their thoughts after the meeting, when that’s viable. I personally have many of my best thoughts after we’ve all gone home.)

        1. not applicable*

          Thank you so much for answering both, you opened a new way of thinking for me in both questions!

  22. Cilantra*

    I’m an instructional designer and e-learning specialist. I can give pointers on creating engaging slides.

    1. Mio*

      I have to make a short PowerPoint presentation for my teammates about a work seminar I attended (with 2 other people). Usually these things have lots of photos and lean towards more “vacation-y” feeling, since the seminar trips are often held in tourist areas. Our seminar had TONS of good material and I really want to share some – any tips on how to do that in a good way, when people probably expect more relaxed, photo- and experience-focused slides? Thanks in advance!

    2. Lozi*

      I’m wondering if you can recommend a platform for doing e-learning for volunteers within a nonprofit. Our volunteers need initial broad training, then job-specific training. Some of it happens in-person, but there is a lot that could be done online on their own time. As a nonprofit we have a limited budget, so a complex LMS is not an option.

    3. ferrina*

      Is there a short trick for making engaging slides?
      I can make pretty decent slides, but it always feels like it takes longer than it should.

      1. MuseumChick*

        Great question! It’s about building relationships with the exhibits. When they know you care about them, they tend to behave when you are hosting an event.

    2. The Prettiest Curse*

      Out of curiosity – what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen a museum visitor do? And to make this work-related – if you rent out areas of your facility with exhibitions for events, how nerve-wracking is it for your staff, and does the hiring organisation or person have to get expensive liability insurance? (I’ve never organised an event in a museum, so I’m interested in the logistics.)

      1. MuseumChick*

        I did not actually witness this but while working in a very large building, on a very slow day, we found a trail of….feces leading from the exhibit floor to one of the bathroom….the bathroom was…..a wreck. We have no other information and what exactly happened.

        It depends on what area you work in. Collections care staff have major anxiety about these events. Fundraiser don’t. I don’t know much about the insurance question because I have always worked on the collection care side of things.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          Yikes re: the visitor story! And I’m not surprised that events make the collection folks anxious.
          Thank you for answering my questions. :)

          1. MuseumChick*

            And we know you are doing these events for the good of the museum! We just really wish all the artifacts would be locked behind at least three layers of security including a locking vault and a retinal scan.

        3. Bluebell Brenham*

          I’ll chime in to say “not all FR staff!” I started the adult night events at a museum I worked at. I held a hard line on an earlier ending time and no hard liquor, just to keep the rowdiness down. After I left, the CFO (who worked closely w the catering co) immediately changed both of those so more money would come in. I saw it more as long term visitor/donor development.

          1. Plate of Wings*

            In this day and age, an event bar can go all out with just beer, wine, and cider. If the hard liquor rule helped, it seems like a no-brainer! Good for you, certainly the CFO didn’t need to revert that.

        4. I have resting IT support face*

          Could have been the same place but the museum I worked at 15 years ago had a similar incident. A co-worker from that time went on to include it as a set piece in the novel she released a couple years ago.

      2. LaurCha*

        As a former curator I can tell you that events made me very, very nervous. Drunk people around art are not a great combo. It’s less alarming when no alcohol is involved, but really, if you want people to donate or get into a bidding war at an auction, you get them liquored up. At one museum, they had a no-red-wine policy. At another, my director was of Italian descent and red wine was NOT OPTIONAL. At the latter, we did not have people get liability insurance, but we also didn’t do private events like weddings, just community events. I’m not sure how the other museum handled it but I believe the cost of liability insurance is just wrapped up into the rental fee.

        This didn’t seem particularly weird to me, but my security staff lost their minds: we had an exhibition of Russian icons. A fellow from a nearby Russian Orthodox monastery came in and started praying and kissing the icons. The front desk called me and I was like, y’all, they’re religious objects, it’s fine as long as he’s not wearing lipstick. He was not. It was fine. I suppose the fact that we were in a very very Baptist small town in the deep South probably contributed to the security folks being weirded out.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          That’s really interesting, thank you! I’m not surprised about one museum having a “no red wine” policy!

          I have both Russian and Ukrainian heritage. From having been to a few Russian Orthodox services (before the church decided to shill for Putin), I can confirm that kissing icons is very normal in that religion.

        2. Jane Anonsten*

          I’m getting the warm fuzzies that you allowed him to venerate the icons instead of taking the stance that since they weren’t in a church it wasn’t allowed. Thanks for being awesome :)

    3. DisneyChannelThis*

      What determines what new exhibits you get? Is there a catalog of rotating exhibits somewhere??

      1. MuseumChick*

        It depends. At larger organization exhibit will be planned years in advance. The biggest factor is what artifacts you have or, could get loaned to you. Museums loan each other artifacts all the time so if you have an idea for an exhibit but don’t have an important artifact in your collection you can more often than not get it from someone else.

    4. Rae*

      What is the best way for me to share feedback with a museum when I think an exhibit is poorly put together and lacking information? Email vs Snail Mail?

      1. Lila*

        As another museum professional — email! Usually there will be a general email or general curatorial email and things will eventually get forwarded to the right person.

      2. MuseumChick*

        EMAIL! And please do give us feedback! Often times, that the only way the staff can get things changed. Especially when the same people have been on the Board of Directors for 30 years. A side note to this, writing an exhibit is very difficult. Tons of information is left out due to a variety of factors so sometimes that is what is happening.

    5. FuzzFrogs*

      I’m a librarian (with Master’s in Library Science), and I’d love to move into museums one day. Are you able to speak to how people with non-museum expertises move into/fare in museum jobs? Do you typically see people end up going back to school, or making things work, etc.?

      Obviously there’s some crossover between librarianship and museum stuff, but I feel like I haven’t seen a good answer as to whether I could move into museums without…going to grad school again. Or starting from the bottom again, compensation-wise.

      1. LaurCha*

        Larger museums and archive-heavy museums often have a Museum Librarian. In my experience these librarians have an MLS, not necessarily art history or history degrees. However, some background or experience in the subject matter will certainly help you get in the door.

      2. Lila*

        Are you interested in getting into curatorial work or just working within a museum space? I think it’s generally harder to move into curatorial, but there are libraries with gallery spaces and museums with accompanying research libraries, which could be good places to start and see what kind of jobs they have.

      3. MuseumChick*

        My personal opinion is this: it is very hard to move into the museum field if you don’t have a museum specific degree and/or TONS of work experience. There are far more people in the field then there are jobs so you will be competing against all of them. I would recommend going back to school and even finding either volunteer work in a museum or a part time job in one.

      4. Magnus Archivist*

        you could look for museums that also have libraries attached/in their structure. It wouldn’t get you *into* the museum, but it would get you working more closely with the museum curators and staff and potentially involved with more museum-based activities.

    6. Lurker*

      What is your favorite Museum or Exhibit you’ve ever seen, and that you think is worth seeing at least once?

      1. MuseumChick*

        Oh there are so many good ones! I should say before answering that museum professionals are the WORST people to bring to a museum exhibit. We just nitpick the heck out of everything.

        I guess it really depends on what you are looking to get out of going to an exhibit. If you want to think deeply and probably feel uncomfortable it would be the Sensation exhibit or Mining the Museum. The Indianapolis Children’s Museum, when I went there many years ago had a great exhibit on children who changed the world (think people like Anne Frank) and a really amazing display about Ryan White (his story is amazing, google him if you don’t know the name he brough tons of awareness to the AIDS epidemic). Interestingly, there is also a story about an exhibit that never got made that probably would have been the greatest museum exhibit of all time. It’s a very long story but so I will direct you to the Book History Wars and suggest your google “Enola Gay controversy”

      2. different museum chick*

        Jumping in as a fellow museums professional to say that it really, REALLY depends on your specific interests—but ACMI in Melbourne does some phenomenally innovative stuff, the V&A in London is the one London museum I recommend to every tourist because it’s got something for everyone (although I personally prefer the London Transport Museum), and the Detroit Institute of Arts has some of the best interpretation/labeling I’ve ever seen in an art museum!

    7. Needful Things*

      I support a professional personal property appraisal organization. How do museums go about finding appraisers when needed (i.e., donation valuation or whatever)? I’d love to find ways to bring your world to the world of our members and vice versa.

      We have members of all variety of specialties! The majority are fine art, with antiques & decorative arts a close second. But you’ll find everything from jewelry to classic cars, sports memorabilia, airplanes and even horses! The organization requires a progression of specialized education in the field, including becoming USPAP qualified.

      1. MuseumChick*

        Before I answer your question, let me answer one you did not ask because I think its super important. Museums cannot appraise any object. It’s a conflict of interest and the IRS gets annoyed.

        There are three primary appraisal organization in the USA, I don’t know about other counties. They are Appraisers Association of America, American Association of Appraisers and The International Society of Appraisers. Reach out to any/all of them and they should be able to help.

  24. Berin*

    I struggle with brevity in emails and other communications – I tend to be too wordy or I over-explain. Looking for tips to hone my writing, especially for emails/documents that are meant to go up the chain where brief (but impactful!) communication seems to be most valued!

    1. Lab Boss*

      Hi! When I struggled with this I developed a few strategies:
      – Convey important information in bullet points. That helps cut out a lot of words you’d normally use making things read as flowing paragraphs.
      – Put the highest-importance summary in the body of your e-mail, but include an attached document that explains things in more depth or technical detail so if someone DOES need it, it’s there.
      – If there’s a decision or followup that needs to happen, call it out very specifically in bold letters at either the very beginning or very end of the e-mail, so it’s not lost.

      1. Awkwardness*

        I handle it a bit differently, even though the essence is the same.
        I have a short summary on top of the email, bullet point for additional details below. Every to do at the bottom of the email.
        And stick to main sentences or only up to 1 subclause. I think this requires you too be really precise about reasoning and get rid of unnecessary words.

        I had a grand boss once who said he would not read emails longer than 3 sentences. Of course, this is not always realistic, but it gives you a good idea where to place the target.

        1. Berin*

          I’ve gotten similar feedback re: length of emails from my supervisor!

          Both of you have great advice, thank you so much!!

          1. Awkwardness*

            I forgot one thing: active sentences over passive sentences.

            So instead of: It would be preferable to cut the hair to 3mm…
            And instead of: I think it should be established as a rule to cut the hair to 3mm…
            Better: I recommend to cut the hair to 3mm.

      2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        Co-sign this. I sometimes start by listing bullets of the 3 (or whatever number) things I need to convey. Partly, this is so I don’t forget. But it also helps in structuring the e-mail, so I can start off with “here are 3 things you need to know,” then number / bullet them. I find it especially useful when I have 3 questions I need answers to or decisions I need made.

        Another thing I’ve done when I’m not sure how much detail to give is the brief summary at the top and say that I’ve provided a more detailed answer / response / explanation below in the e-mail.

    2. CG*

      I also struggle with this, and I’ve had a few people recommend Grammarly to me. For another automated helper option, Microsoft Word has an option to add wordiness checks to spelling/grammar check.

      To turn them on, in Word go to File -> Options -> Proofing. Under “When correcting spelling and grammar in Word”, you can click “Settings” next to “Writing Style”, and there’s a “Clarity and Conciseness” section with options that aren’t checked by default.

    3. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      From someone in IT who sometimes goes too far the other way!:

      Drafts are your salvation. Quickly type up the most important points that *have* to be got across in bullet point format – do not worry about grammar or spelling. Then, construct sentences around them so they flow together.

      *Then* correct any nasty spelling errors or grammatical snafus. Add in a nice opening/closing and you’re golden.

      2. NetNrrd*

        LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES: At least if it’s a really awkward draft, don’t put the ‘to’ or ‘cc’ entries in until you’re ready to send it. More than once I’ve accidentally sent a draft when I meant to just save it and exit.

    4. Skoobles*

      Summary paragraph up front with the key recommendation and justification; if somebody reads only that, they’ll know what your recommendation is.

      Bullet points or other formatting to make key points stick out rather than be in paragraph soup.

      Avoid redundant explanations or over-explaining basics to an audience who knows what you’re talking about. If you’ve explained something once in the email, assume it stays explained.

      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        I agree with beginning the message a summarizing sentence that asks or shares what you need.

        Following that, I use either bullet points or a sentence or two that briefly explains anything the person needs to know.
        Is there a deadline?
        Did I try X, Y and Z?

        If you’ve read any of my comments, you’ll know I can type a lot of words.
        I’m training myself to pull out the part I need to ask/share. I write one sentence that explains the purpose of the message and then I let myself go. From that, I try to pull anything important for the second part. And finally, if I determine that I need All The Words, write up my narrative.

    5. Ferret*

      I used to be pretty bad about this – I was told it was really common for ex-engineers to include way too much detail. One thing I did was write out my very long list as bullet points, then highlight the key phrases and words. Then I could see if I really needed to keep the rest or if I could move the key points up front and leave the bulk of information below or as an appendix

      1. Berin*

        I’m not an engineer, but my primary work has been with engineers for the last 8 years, so maybe that explains my verbosity!

    6. Susan Calvin*

      Seconding Lab Boss especially on this: TL;DR up top, *then* go into details.

      Also, strategic bolding of 1-2 keywords per paragraph or bullet helps busy audiences with speed reading and picking out which parts of the backstory are relevant or interesting to them.

    7. nonny*

      This depends a LOT on your audience, but sometimes you can completely cut out (or drastically reduce) any niceties (“I hope you’re doing well,” “let me know if you have any questions,” etc) and that can really help streamline your emails. You really have to know your audience though – I work in academia and cutting out the niceties works really well when cold emailing faculty I don’t know, but I wouldn’t do that with (most) faculty I do know, support staff, or students.

      1. Berin*

        I definitely use a TON of niceties, but from communications I’ve seen from senior staff, they don’t appear to be important. This is a tough habit for me to break, but I’ll give it a try! Thank you!

    8. clever user name*

      For me, writing the long version first is the only way I can end up with a concise message. Save the long one as a draft in case there are questions, but it’s easier to summarize and hone in on key points once you have the entire thing explained. Also I had a boss that encouraged us to ask questions that they could answer with a yes or no. That really helps you get to the point and frames your input as a solution. “Shall I Fed-Ex this tomorrow?” vs. “When and how do you want me to ship this?”

      1. bamcheeks*

        Same! That was going to be my top tip— give yourself more time to write the email, and treat it as a two stage process— writing, and then editing. Expect it to take longer— it’s your classic Mark Twain “sorry for sending a long letter, I didn’t have time to write a short one”.

        For the editing part, I would literally cut and paste the email into Word or another programme with a wordcount, and try and make it half as long. For me, this typically means:

        – taking out every “sort of” and “kind of”
        – looking for any doubled up verb phrases, adjectives or adverbs— so “I would like to think we will have someone in post by September” can just be “we want someone in post by September”; “the llamas are looking really stunningly beautiful todays is just “the llamas are looking beautiful today!”; “it’s important that senior management understand that the llama grooming team is critical, relevant and important to our overall mission” becomes “the LGT is critical to our mission.” This has the effect of making your writing much more direct and informative, and so much easier to read
        – take out every sentence or phrase that says the same as another sentence or phrase (it’s really common to repeat for emphasis, but concise and direct writing is much more emphatic and also less annoying)
        – look at the overall structure, and figure out what the point of each paragraph is and whether it’s in the right order
        – go through each sentence individually, and decide whether it’s relevant, important and in the right

        Still over 50% of the original wordcount? Do it all again, but harder. (50% is obviously a made-up figure, but giving yourself a quantitative figure to reduce by or two is a great way do *forcing* yourself to cut words and find more concise ways of saying things or cutting whole sentences or paragraphs that aren’t directly to the point. Once you realise how much better your writing is and it becomes second nature, you don’t need to quantify it so much.)

        Finally, define “success” for this email— are you informing, changing minds, asking for an action? Is that crystal clear? Could it be clearer? If so, do it again.

        Good luck!

        2. Lozi*

          this is GREAT. I find myself so annoyed with wordy emails … and then turn around and write them myself!

      2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        Yup, sometimes you’ve got to write the long e-mail, then put the key stuff on top and edit it down to a manageable length.

    9. OverEasy*

      I just write the wordy version first! It’s important to me to make sure I’ve included everything and am not skipping something over. Then I just have the VERY important second step of leaving the draft, then coming back and doing an edit. The edit is when I figure out if this needs to be bullet points, if paragraphs works, etc. Usually I’ll have in mind that I want this to be a 2-paragraph email (or whatever) and focus on cutting it down. I end up deleting a lot of unnecessary sentences. And this can be the time to format in the “put tldr on top” recommendations from a lot of other commenters. I just find that when I start with the approach to write the tldr first, I end up just back in the wrote-too-much situation.

      1. Berin*

        This is a great point, and something I need to build into my routine. I tend to overthink a lot, which can interfere with editing, but I like the idea of beginning with an end length in mind!

    10. SpecialSpecialist*

      You can also use ChatGPT to summarize your wordiness. Write your email/memo/whatever as you usually would. Then copy/paste it into ChatGPT and ask it to summarize in X words/sentences/paragraphs. Then use ChatGPT’s output as a suggestion to go back and pare down your work. Do it enough times and eventually, you’ll retrain yourself to cut out wordiness.

      1. Eliot Waugh*

        Yes to ChatGPT! I also struggle with this, and have gotten feedback that I need to shorten everything and use less detail. Used to take me an hour to write and edit some emails. Now I will quickly make a draft that includes too many details and filler words and then ask ChatGPT to make it shorter, nicer, stronger, or any other tone I’m trying to achieve.

    11. LaurCha*

      Read it out loud to yourself. You’ll quickly see where the sentences fail and the information gets repetitive or confusing. Or read it to your pets if you work at home. :)

    12. RNL*

      Write it all out, then go back and do a few things:
      1. read it and take out as many extra words as possible. Adverbs, qualifiers, unnecessary adjectives, etc. Sometimes I set myself a challenge: can I take out 25% of the words? 40%? 50%?
      2. then highlight the important points and put them first. Literally take the last sentence of the paragraph and put it at the beginning. Take the second clauses and put them first in multi-clause sentences, if the second clause has the more important idea.
      3. read it again, and once again take out unnecessary words or phrases, and try to change as many clauses as possible to the active voice rather than the passive voice.
      4. think about the overall message, and write a summary at the top, and think about the rest of your message as explication of the summary. Headings and bullet points are your friends!
      5. if you think your audience *might* want more detail, say “more detail can be found below” and then put more detail below under a heading.

      You do not want to take your audience on a journey of how you landed on an idea or a conclusion. You want to give them the conclusion right up front, clearly, and then information to asses whether they agree with the conclusion.

      1. Berin*

        Oh man, you hit the nail on the head – I tend to recap the journey, often because I am unsure of my own conclusions and want validation that I’ve approached the problem thoroughly. I really like your suggestion about adding detail under a different heading. Thank you for taking the time!

        1. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

          I can totally relate to wanting to tell the story of the journey in order. It’s the way we do it in stories, essays, research papers, etc. One thing that’s emphasized at my workplace is that busy leaders want the key thing first. Tell them the bottom line right up front. Then get into the important details later.

          Also, with e-mails, people can come back and ask clarifying questions if they need more specific detail. It happens.

          1. Awkwardness*

            Also, the managers can decide then if they want to spend more time to go into the details or leave it there.
            But you are sure they got art last the main message.

            1. Berin*

              Both of these are great points, especially about how we’re trained to write in school vs the workplace. Thank you for responding!

            2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

              Exactly! The detail is there if they want it. If they don’t, they didn’t have to wade through a bunch of information to find the key info.

          2. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

            To be extra clear on my last point. It *may* be better to default to less detail rather than more. If you have too little, the remedy is that someone e-mails you back and asks for the detail, no biggie. If you have too much, the key points may get lost.

            Though this is less important if you do the TL;DR at the top and add the details below.

    13. Meg*

      I have many questions or points in an email I *always* number my questions and or bullet point the things I wish to get across.

      1. Berin*

        It seems like a lot of folks who are good at this are big bullet people! I appreciate you responding!

    14. communications director & ex-editor*

      I’m going to give a rather long answer, sorry! I work in academia and see this quite a lot.

      The first step is understanding the underlying problem. Many of us struggle to write clearly because we’re recording our thoughts as we think them. It’s hard to edit our own writing because we’re not truly reading the words, we’re remembering our own thought processes—and so we fill in the gaps, mentally “batch” sentences together, and make intuitive leaps that readers simply can’t.

      Write your first draft, then ask yourself: what’s the point? Put that key message right at the top, after whatever standard pleasantries you use.

      With your key message in mind, go through your draft and pull out the key supporting points, then use that as an outline to rewrite your content from scratch. I know this sounds like a lot of work, but it really only takes me a few minutes at most. It forces me to ask myself what my audience NEEDS to know, as opposed to what I might WANT to tell them.

      Pull out any action items in a bulleted list at the end. Sometimes I color-code them for clients who can’t be trusted to read carefully. Use formatting sparingly and deliberately, including subheadings if appropriate.

      I strongly, strongly urge you not to use Grammarly or ChatGPT. They can make your text shorter, but they cannot reliably make it easier to read, because they are fundamentally incapable of understanding meaning. Furthermore, I’ve seen WAY too many real-life examples of both Grammarly and ChatGPT producing grammatically incorrect garbage—or even worse, something that looks okay at first glance but ends up expressing the opposite of what the writer intended.

      (I personally have ethical issues with large language models’ data scraping practices as well, but that’s a different topic altogether.)

    15. Tinamedte*

      I’d like to add: never underestimate the importance of a succinct email subject.

      It lets your audience know what is important in your email and what to expect.

    16. Fluff*

      Great ideas. Going to use a lot of them.

      I started using goblin tools. It is an AI tool but you have to write the content. The Formulizer lets you choose if you want the goblins to make it more formal, in formal, wishy washy, to the point, polite, and more spicey. You can dial up the spicy in peppers. 2 peppers and you are an annoying employee. 5 peppers and there might be a PIP in your future.

      You can also use the “Judge” to see how your email might be interpreted. I find that my short to the point emails may contain some unrecognized snark. I think the Judge has saved my career.

      Seriously though, goblin tools are great. I always add my zing to the suggestions though. No matter what add your zing back.

    17. Azalea Bertrand*

      Late to the party, but a coworker taught me one that’s been great when needing specific action from higher-ups:
      – create a two column table
      – set to inside only borders (reduces visual clutter)
      – left column include relevant heas eg background or previous decision, proposal/update/next steps, action required, deadline, links to documentation, contact for further info
      – right column have max 3 dot points for each heading
      – I’ll bold and highlight the action and deadline headings, use different colour highlights for actions for different people

      Seems to work well for helping people skim and skip to the relevant info.

    18. Annie*

      I tend to do that a lot, too. My boss wanted very succinct information. I would write out my email, and then go back and break it down into bullet points, with the subject and then a sub-bullet with the action, name, and due date.

      E-mails are too long
      – Finish editing e-mail for Subway account. Action: Berin. Due date: 12-Apr

    19. AnonForThis*

      I struggle with this too! A few thoughts:

      1) A late-in-life learning disability diagnosis allowed me to replace my shame-based identity of “wordy overthinker” with “smart but neurodifferent person, and writing is simply more difficult for my brain than it is for many of my peers’ brains.” Helps with self-compassion!

      2) I recently discovered “Writing for Busy Readers” by Jessica Laskey-Fink and Todd Rogers. Website with AI tool and other resources, plus newsletter and book. Might be of interest. Good luck to us all! :)

  25. Salesforce Admin*

    I’m a Salesforce administrator. Ask me your Salesforce questions, how tos, career advice, etc! Open to end users or other Salesforce professionals.

      1. Salesforce Admin*

        Salesforce’s original product is called Sales Cloud (we’ll call this OG Salesforce). The purpose of OG Salesforce is for any business to track their widget sales using a standard data model of Accounts (businesses), Contacts (individuals at those businesses) and Opportunities (revenue generating deals with an Account).

        However, as you can imagine, that data structure doesn’t work for all industries. And that’s where you get industry specific clouds like Education Cloud. Education Cloud takes the basic infrastructure of Salesforce with a data model optimized the student population.

        I’ve never worked in that cloud, so I don’t know the specifics, but I hope that helps you understand the why! LMK if you have further questions

    2. Rootsandbranches*

      Thank you! Can you give me basic info about how to manipulate data in a report? For example, conditionally formatting cells that meet a certain criteria, or having a query that pulls age, and then converting the “age” column to a fixed set of age ranges.

      1. Remember Neopets*

        Hi, not sure if anyone answered you yet, but that’s actually NOT considered basic in Salesforce. There are absurd limitations that Salesforce builds into it’s reporting structure but also certain things you would expect are impossible because Salesforce isn’t a relational database model. The way it stores objects/fields/data is not straightforward and your orgs salesforce admin who built and/or maintains your database is going to be super helpful!

        I can try to help though…. on a Salesforce report, in edit mode, you can use the down arrow in column menu to see the option “Add a bucket field”. That should help you with your ages problem. You could also potentially use the Formula field, but you’d need someone who can write whatever bastard mix of languages salesforce uses. (SQL, excel, and something it makes up on it’s own.)

        For conditional formatting, you can only apply that to reports that are grouped by rows or grouped by rows and columns and you should have that option in the lower right corner of the screen. However, it only works on summary fields. So if you MIGHT have to have your salesforce dev create custom fields if you’re not seeing what you want.

        1. Salesforce Admin*

          I would agree with all of the above! As Salesforce admins like to say, when you’ve seen one Salesforce org, you’ve seen one Salesforce org. So every org and cloud can be different based on data model and some of the choices that the admin has made. Some of those choices may not be good choices, or they may have been good choices years ago when the company was different.

          I would add – if you can’t get to any of the features that Neopets mentioned above, you may not have permissions to run reports in your org.

        2. Rootsandbranches*

          That’s helpful to know at least, I felt like I must be missing something obvious but knowing it’s not just me helps.

          We contract with an outside partner for admin so I’ll probably just keep exporting my reports to Excel for data analysis.

          Thanks for the answer!

          1. Salesforce Admin*

            You could ask that external partner if it’s a big need for you. Being asked to build a report is a very common task for a consultant.

      2. Remember Neopets*

        I tried to post before, so my apologies if it posts twice.

        Salesforce can be extremely tricky and you should probably solicit the help of your Salesforce dev or admin. Salesforce isn’t a relational database model, so they it structures it’s objects and fields can be very difficult to accurately report on.

        A report can have conditional formatting only if there’s grouping on rows or grouping on rows and columns and only for summary fields. If you don’t have a summary field, you may need to ask your admin or dev to make you a custom field.

        To get ages in a range, you’ll want to create a bucket field or a formula field. Keeping in mind that there are limitations on how many you can have in a report. Also, Salesforce uses a mix of SQL, excel, and it’s own made up shit for formulas, so good luck!

    3. Mad Harry Crewe*

      I’m currently in tech support (SaaS legal discovery software) and Salesforce admin has been recommended as a possible career path. What do you like about being a SF admin? Aside from getting a sandbox and playing around, are there any training courses that you specifically recommend or look for on a resume? Do you work as a consultant, or are you a full time employee with a Salesforce customer?

      1. Salesforce dev*

        Not the OP, but I changed careers into SF Admin and then development. Salesforce has their own free learning platform called Trailhead which is honestly amazing. You find a “trail” that suits your needs (for example, beginner admin) and follow along – trails are divided into modules, which can be theoretical or hands on (you get a free developer org) and take from 20’ to 2h to complete, all on your own time.

        What I personally liked about working as an admin was: it tends to be a very dynamic job, and while there are routine tasks (creating users! changing passwords!), a lot of the time you’re using logic to solve problems – basically a constant puzzle game. There’s a lot of human interaction involved as people report problems to you or ask you questions, so it doesn’t get lonely (development can, if you don’t have a good team).

        The money is also amazing, especially in relation to the amount of training you need. I doubled my salary in my first 3 years as an admin.

        Like I said, I work as a developer now, but as an admin I worked both as a consultant and inside a client, and there wasn’t much of a difference in my day to day.

        1. MMB*

          I love Trailhead and the training paths! I seriously considered becoming a Sales Force Admin, but it seems like the market is pretty saturated right now. Is there a website you recommend for entry level people looking to find an SF admin job?

          1. Salesforce Admin*

            LinkedIn and Indeed are where I find the majority of job openings.
            You should also talk to your local Salesforce admin user group and see if anyone is hiring.

            This site is for entry level admin jobs: https://d5f000009l1udeaa-dev-ed.my.site.com/s/. It’s a community built site on the Salesforce platform.

            I gave some other job advice down thread. LMK if you have any specific questions!

      2. Salesforce Admin*

        I’m a full time employee with a Salesforce customer. It is a saturated field for entry-level admins, but here’s what would make an entry-level admin stand out to me:

        Certifications: The admin cert is the gold standard. I don’t put too much value on the Associate, but if you have it, put it on your resume.
        Trailhead: Covered below by Salesforce dev – I agree with their comments.
        User Group: Find your local Salesforce user group and/or Salesforce Saturday. Google Salesforce (your city/region). Show up. Listen. Ask questions. Connect with people. Salesforce people are generally good people and want to help you get into the ecosystem.

        What I want to see in a person?
        First of all, figure-it-out-ness. Can you take an unclear problem and figure out how to solve it, even if the directions aren’t obvious?
        Experience building: Build something in Salesforce and show it to me. I don’t care what it is – build an app for your hobby and talk about how you designed it. What did you learn the hard way? Some mistakes you only make once (looking at you global value sets).
        Ability to talk to users: A lot of being an admin, especially an early career admin, is tech support. Highlight the tech support experience as you apply for jobs.

        What do I like about it?
        I work remotely with a flexible schedule, make good $$ and with 5+ years of experience it’s not hard for me to get a job if I needed to. I like to write (documentation) and design – I get do that with Salesforce.

        Advice for getting into it?
        If you work somewhere with Salesforce, become a power user and make friends with your admin(s) and/or the consulting team your company hires.
        If you want to pivot your career into it, look for admin jobs in industries you know. For example, you currently work in the legal industry, so you’d apply for a job as an admin at a law firm. Not a requirement, but can give you a leg up.

        1. BreakingCPQ*

          I’m also a Salesforce Admin at a Salesforce customer and our org has historically struggled with documentation so I’m interested in how you’re doing that if you don’t mind sharing. We run our internal support and change requests in Salesforce itself and when we’ve tried to use outside systems, it tends to get stale incredibly fast. Thank you!

          1. Salesforce Admin*

            I have a lot of thoughts on documentation! You have to establish that a) you will write it and b) it will live in a certain repository. No job is complete until the paperwork is done :). If a doc needs to be updated, you stop and update it in the process of soving a ticket. I call it a culture of documentation.

            I’ve found this really requires management support. At my last job, I got my hand slapped for writing documentation because there were other things to do (user support issues, features, etc). I’m sure they appreciated the docs when I was gone.

            How to start?
            First, establish a repository – where the docs live. Because you’re tracking change requests in Salesforce itself, you could use Salesforce Knowledge, but that would depend on your Salesforce edition. I’ve had good luck with Confluence and Notion. I like a tool that provides a version history and makes it easy to copypasta queries. You should also start using the description fields, even if that description field is a link to the document repository.

            I like to start by documenting user management: how users are configured, what permissions they should/shouldn’t have and what happens when they offboard.

            Then I like to think about the six Ws when documenting a piece of functionality:
            Who: Which users are using this process? How are access/permissions granted?
            What: What Salesforce tool is it (flow, process builder, validation rule, etc)
            When: When does this thing happen?
            Where: Where is it in the platform – what flows, fields, etc? Help an admin find it.
            Why: Why did the business decide to do this? What problem are we solving here?
            WTF: Did anything make you say WTF in this process? If so, document that for your fellow admins.

            I organize my documentation by functionality: Here is how X functionality works (how tasks are generated when a certain type of client converts, for example).
            I also keep a page for each object (may not be the best option in CPQ!) with notes about different fields of interest.

            But honestly, you have to dooooo it and invest in it. LMK if I can provide further advice.

    4. Totally Hypothetical*

      Is there a report that will show me performance of specific email templates, specifically the number sent, delivered rates, open rates, etc? We use classic email templates to send one off emails, not mass emails typically.

      1. Salesforce Admin*

        I think you’d need to use an Account Engagement report (counterintuitive – you’re probably looking for report types with the name of “email”). Do you know what cloud (or version) of Salesforce you’re on?

    5. Anonymous Industry Scientist*

      Why on god’s green earth does the Outlook integration with Lightning make me fully log in every. single. day. now and sometimes more than once a day? It used to remember me from day to day! Now it has amnesia. Did something change on the SF side recently?

      If the answer is no, or not that you’re aware of, it’s fine and I appreciate your answer anyway. I just know that small back-end changes can have big front-end results. I did talk to my own SF admin (always the first step!), but they did the shrug emoji and offered to open a case with SF support. Having been utterly talked down to by their support team before, I’m not eager to do that if I can avoid it. It’s not THAT annoying. Just a little annoying. XD

      1. Salesforce Admin*

        My org doesn’t use that integration, so I wouldn’t know what’s happening exactly. However, this sounds like a session timeout issue and if I was your admin that’s where I’d start. I’d check the profile session settings and see if there’s anything prompting the logout. I’d also want to know if you were changing IP addresses during the day for any reason, which could force log you out. If you know of others experiencing the problem, let your admin know. There may be something similar between those users which would clue them into the problem.

        Salesforce support is often next to useless IMHO.

    6. not my usual handle*

      Sincere question from another Salesforce professional: if you had the choice to double down on Salesforce or brand yourself more as a data systems specialist/application manager, what would you choose (or what factors would you weigh in making that decision)? I am nearly eligible to start the CTA panel process, but I’m worried that continuing to invest the time in Salesforce versus other products or more general IT skills is going to lock me into the ecosystem forever. I’m curious how others think about this but it doesn’t seem like something I can honestly ask in the Salesforce community.

      1. SBQQ_Custom_Object__c*

        Not OP, but I feel like there are enough transferable skills that getting your CTA wouldn’t lock you in forever. Some things are a little wonky with Salesforce as opposed to the general IT world, mostly to support the heavy emphasis on declarative development (looking at you, devops), but I’ve seen lots of multi-certed people floating around between Salesforce, Netsuite, Dynamics, and Hubspot just fine.
        Best of luck if you do decide to go for your CTA!

      2. Salesforce Admin*

        That’s a good question. I’m nowhere close to CTA, but I do think about it once or twice a year. Guess this is that once or twice per year. I’m almost halfway to Application Architect (Platform App Builder is done, Sharing and Visibility is on deck!) and if I can get that, maybe I’d think about CTA.

        I personally plan to stick with Salesforce because it’s what I know and I like working with it. Well, at least most of the time – it does have some quirks and dumb shit, like any tech platform. If Salesforce went away as a platform (which I don’t think is eminently likely), I’d probably work in migrations away from Salesforce to whatever system(s) replace it in the marketplace. Or I’d leave the industry entirely and work in a hobby/sport/passion of mine (if I could afford the pay cut).

        I think you should get your CTA if you want. It can’t hurt you. I think job hunting is more about how you tell your story than the specific credentials.

        Salesforce people tend to be real big on the Salesforce platform as the magical solution for everything, and it’s just… not. It’s fine! I like it! I don’t need to devote my life to it though.

        1. not my usual handle*

          Thanks for your thoughtful response! I think we all have this kind of love/hate relationship with the platform. :) It’s amazing when you can solve a business problem in a week that everyone assumed would take months, not so much when you create a new record type on the task object and now everything in this sandbox is f’d, lol.

          Honestly, my issue IS with the Salesforce hype engine – they sell a lot of software, but their approach means that a lot of IT people are turned off to the whole thing and don’t believe Salesforce professionals have real technical skills. My title was changed to not have the word “Salesforce” in it, partly to reflect that some of my work now is with other systems, but also because it was creating an impression that I didn’t have more general technical knowledge or that I’d be too “evangelistic” about putting things on Salesforce that don’t belong there.

          To be clear, I don’t think Salesforce professionals who got into it without prior technical backgrounds are not technical! I know some incredible admins, devs and architects who could run circles around people with more traditional tech training and experience. But as a woman in tech, I think I just carry a lot of scars around not being taken seriously and having to prove my chops, and I kind of want the second half of my career to be about technical problem solving, not marketing myself as having a right to be in the conversation (though, I’m sure that’s never going to go away).

          Good luck with your cert study! The architects certs do seem to be really valuable both in terms of content and professional opportunity. Based on your other comments here, it seems like you know your stuff, so hopefully these are some feathers you can add to your cap soon!

    8. Anonymato*

      Is there a way to use Salesforce for registration for events (some free, some paid)? Or is it better to get another software that will update records in Salesforce? Thanks!

      1. Salesforce Admin*

        Campaigns are made for tracking this in Salesforce. You’d create a Campaign and enroll your contacts or leads as Campaign Members. Then you can update Salesforce when the individual registers, track their attendance, and even track how much $$ came in from the campaign.

        You’d probably want your campaign members to register through an online form that connects to Salesforce (something like HubSpot or Pardot would do this for you) or you’d manually add campaign members.

        Make sure your admin checks the “Marketing User” box on any user who will be using Campaigns :)

  26. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

    Absolutely A-grade expert in the management of chaos with regards IT problems – from dealing with offensive and angry users to triaging call queues during emergency situations. Basically – Incident Management is my bread and butter.

    I’m also very good at T-SQL (I *can* do PL/SQL but not an expert with it) with regard database management.

    1. Cj*

      I know you can’t really answer this question without knowing what the actual problem is, but I’m a CPA and our server has been down since Monday morning. we are all kind of freaking out. they thought we would be able to log in yesterday, but I’m still waiting for a call from it because apparently there is a difference set up procedure for people like me who are remote.

      Apparently we were hit with a virus or malware or something. at this point they don’t think it was a security breach.

      My actual question – is it normal to take this long to get something like this fixed? I never asked, but I can’t imagine that we didn’t have backups of the data that could be installed on a new server quite quickly, and the programs themselves are all in the cloud. and I’ve always been told you need to keep not just the backup from the night before, but several backups, because your backup could also will be corrupted.

      1. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

        From experience I’d say they’ve hit upon a snag rebuilding the server. Restoring from backups is easy until it isn’t and with things like financial or transactional data you may need to pull in incremental backups and restore a working image off that.
        And yeah, backups can be corrupt! Or the server itself is no longer useable and they’re trying to put a new one into service.

        Or, and I think this is the case, they’re taking extra time to make darn sure it’s not going to get hit with malware the instant it’s opened up to remote access again. Recovering from a ransomware attack once took us over a week because we had to make sure no users had it either.

        The fact that they haven’t communicated this to you though is a failure of IT services. They’ve messed up on that. Always, always keep the customers informed.

        1. Tau*

          One of my companies had their network flattened by ransomware and I think it took them something on the order of a month to rebuild (happened in my last week there so I don’t know the details). But that was a case where everything got hit, rather than a single server.

        2. Cj*

          I’m sure our third party IT services communicated any relevant information to the people at the firm they are dealing with directly, it would be different keeping the rest of us employees in the dark. which I guess is understandable, as long as The Firm has been transparent with us about when we might be up and running again, which keeps changing.

      2. Betty4Cats*

        Long-time backup administrator here: yes, depending on the environment 4 days can be spent just figuring out what went wrong, which you have to do before you try to restore anything – else it could just get corrupted/broken again.

        And “just restoring from backup” is not “just” – I have full backups in the cloud of all of our locally stored data, but bringing that back “down” could take weeks depending on how much data and the network bandwidth available (e.g., is the speed more “superhighway” or “local street”).

        And “new server” – if it was physical hardware needing to be replaced it could take weeks to order more, as supply chains have really slowed since the pandemic. If it was a virtual server that should be able to be recreated quickly from a backup image – assuming they know which backup does not contain malware and there is a functioning VMware physical chassis.

        And the real kicker: has your IT dept ever been allowed to do a disaster recovery (DR) drill to test the (hopefully written) recovery documentation? Chances are that when they asked to do that it wasn’t approved because nonIT people don’t understand all the steps it takes. I work for a major educational institution and have been begging to do this for 25 years, but it always gets backburnered – until the day an emergency happens that creates more awareness of why we were asking!

      3. Also works in IT*

        I don’t have first hand experience with viruses / malware but yes, it absolutely can take that long or even longer. A company around here needed 1,5 months to restore everything…
        If you got hit by a virus / malware you have to figure out which one it is first. Then how it got in and how long it was hiding in your system. And then you need a (working!) backup older than that you can restore from. Depending on the circumstance maybe also new hardware because you have to be absolutely sure that the hardware you restore to is clean. Before you start to restore you need to make sure that the way it got in is closed. Then you need time for the actual restore. This depends on the amount of data, on which medium the backup was saved and how fast the hardware is. As an example we could restore the same amount of data in 4 hours, 10 hours and 30 hours depending on the medium it was saved.

        1. Cj*

          All the replies are greatly appreciated, but now I’m really freaking out! we are a tax firm, and since we use electronic document storage, we can’t even access the client information we would need to manually prepare extensions before April 15th.

          the IRS would probably wave penalties in this situation, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.

    2. Cj*

      I have scrolled right past your username before I made my other post, and didn’t realize this was you. I’m glad to see you here. I did see your post explaining why you haven’t been, but always enjoyed your comments so much.

      1. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

        Aww thank you! Yeah, the health is very very bad but I’ll still be reading here when I can.

        2. Jane Anonsten*

          Jumping on the bandwagon. Always appreciate your comments and sending you good thoughts.

    3. Venus*

      Any stories you want to share about the chaos?

      A friend of mine answered calls as part of an initial triage. A very stressed senior manager explained that he’d deleted the Start bar off his computer. Absolutely refused to understand that he’d hidden it. My friend finally had him bring his mouse pointer to the bottom of the screen, until it became a double-sided arrow, then had him click down and drag up. Surprise! The problem was fixed.

      For myself, I had a 50ish year old man with various degrees in tech and all sorts of experience show me how typing Ctrl-Alt-Delete results in a menu that gives you the option to lock the computer. He wasn’t being patronizing to me, rather he was so excited at this new skill he’d learned and wanted to share. I’m often surprised at how few people understand keyboard shortcuts!

    4. NetNrrd*

      Oooh! I love me some incident management and disaster response (large and small). Got suggestions for reading/viewing/etc?

  27. Gitty*

    If you work with religious Jews and want to understand them better I can answer questions about that!

        1. Filosofickle*

          Not everyone agrees with you! When I’ve asked this of close Jewish friends/colleagues — some of who think about this a lot, working for Jewish schools and cultural orgs — they have felt that while Jew is a neutral descriptor, it’s more of an in-group term and it’s probably best if I (not Jewish) try to avoid it. It’s hard to work around though! “Jewish people” sounds clumsy — often I have to reconstruct the sentence.

          1. Eliot Waugh*

            I’m also a Jew and can answer from my perspective.

            Jew is a neutral descriptor, same as Christian, or Muslim. But anti-semites will also use it as a slur. So it can sometimes sound off coming from a non-Jewish person.

            I can’t quite describe why this is, but hearing a non-Jew say something like “I just found out Adam Sandler is Jewish” sounds a lot different than “I just found out Adam Sandler is a Jew”. Maybe because one is describing a characteristic of Adam Sandler, and the other is equating him with (part of) his identity?

            It’s also good to note, like with most groups, there will be different opinions about this and feelings from different Jewish people and communities.

            1. Pocket Mouse*

              Yes, using a demographic as an adjective vs. a noun really makes a difference. The noun form makes the group seem monolithic, and more subject to biases—positive and/or negative—about that group. If negative biases are prevalent, you may need to be clear that you are part of the group you speak of in order to be understood as not, or at least less, problematic.

              Signed,
              A queer

          2. Jiminy Cricket*

            This question always makes me think of two moments on TV:

            In The Office, Oscar says he is Mexican, and Michael says, “Oh, but what’s the less derogatory term?” Ooof. I’m Jewish. I’m a Jew. The idea that the very normal name for my ethnicity and religion is a slur is deeply painful.

            In Community, I think it was a Christmas episode, the other characters are using the word Jew a lot, veering close to using it as an adjective (that is a huge, huge, huge no) and Annie, the Jewish character, gets increasingly uncomfortable and shouts, “Say the whole word!” So, yeah, intent and respect matter, even though it is an entirely neutral descriptor on its own.

      2. maybe: funkë*

        No judgment/not accusing you specifically, but when people think Jew is derrogatory I’m like…is it because YOU think being Jewish is a bad thing? Anyway yes I’m Jewish and it makes me uncomfortable when people try to avoid calling us Jews for that reason

    2. lunchtime caller*

      I just heard that Passover is coming up, anything we should know to be more sensitive to coworkers at this time? Is this a no-meeting, don’t try to ask them stuff sort of holiday, or more of a casual one?

      1. Gitty*

        yep! so for strictly religious Jews this is what’s going on. Monday, April 22 is is the day before passover. You can technically work but it’s a super busy hectic day. Tuesday and Wednesday are totally off, no phones, no nothing. Thursday and Friday are more casual holiday. yes phones but many will take off, it’s family time. The following Monday and Tuesday are again full on Holiday, no phones. and Wednesday everyone is back to work! Kids schools start on Thursday.

        1. curious*

          I’m not familiar with any other holiday where there are two sets of times that are a “big deal” – could you explain that?

          1. Gitty*

            I can try! Sukkot is the same idea. both Sukkot and Passover have what we call “first days” and “second days” of what we call “Yom Tov”. Yom Tov translates to holiday in English and there are strict religious laws for those days in terms of what can and can’t be done, similar to what we have for Saturday. The days in between first and second days Yom Tov are called “Chol Hamoed”. which literally means “weekdayish holdiday”. So those days have “lighter” rules if you want to think of it that way. Does that help clarify?

            1. Jay (no, the other one)*

              They’re not part of the same holiday. Both Sukkot and Pesach last for eight days (outside of Israel) with some days more of a “big deal” than others

          3. HannahS*

            It seems analogous to how for some, Ash Wednesday is a “big deal,” then leads into Lent and then into Easter, another “big deal” –but one wouldn’t take off work for all of Lent.

        2. Excel Gardener*

          Out of curiosity, how does this look for less religiously strict Jews? Is it a single day off or do they take more as well (obviously I’m sure this varies by individual, asking for generalizations).

          1. Roland*

            Someone like me who isn’t religious might just take off Monday to prep for the Seder (big ceremonial meal) in the evening and maybe Tuesday for the holiday itself, but they may also take off only one or neither.

          2. Echo*

            Those of us who aren’t super-religious probably only take Yom Kippur and maybe Rosh Hashanah off. (My dad and I work on Yom Kippur as it makes fasting feel more personally meaningful for us but that’s more unusual.)

            1. Echo*

              Oh, I should have said, I don’t travel for Passover because my family live nearby. People do travel for it and may need time off for that.

          3. Jiminy Cricket*

            I’m a religious Jew, but I’m Reform. That means that Passover lasts seven days for us, not eight. I will take the day before off for all the holiday prep and the first day off for the holiday.

            Similarly, we mark other two-day holidays for just one day.

            1. NoIWontFixYourComputer*

              I’m also Reform. I had always understood that it’s 8!days for the Diaspora (outside of Israel), and 7 days if you’re in Israel.

              Disclaimer. I could be wrong

              1. ST*

                My Reform temple growing up observed holidays with the original/shorter number of days (1 day of Rosh Hashanah, 7 of Sukkot, etc). I was told it was a change for modernity because the old reasoning of not being 100% sure of the calendar outside of Jerusalem no longer applied.

              3. Jiminy Cricket*

                Yep. 7 days in Israel. 8 days in the diaspora for Orthodox and Conservative. 7 days in the diaspora for Reform.

      2. Beth**

        Also, even for not especially religious Jews, they may change their dietary requirements during the holiday such that attending events where food and drinks are served is difficult.

      3. Bluebell Brenham*

        Even if someone isn’t taking off days for Passover, they may restrict their diet with regard to bread/leavened foods during that week. So if people are having lunch catered in, it’s nice to make sure there is a salad option or something. It would definitely not be a great week to decide to throw a big pizza party.

        1. FuzzBunny*

          Yes! But to add to this – ask the person first. Depending on how strictly they keep kosher for Passover, they might not be willing to eat even the salad.

          1. Bluebell Brenham*

            Yup! I was once at a work pizza party that happened during the intermediate days. There were quite a few Jewish folks and our choices ranged from “drink canned diet soda” to “eat salad” to “make a matzo pizza in the kitchen microwave” to “it’s not Seder so I’m fine with pizza” I ended up just doing soda, though I would have had salad without dressing if I was hungry.

          2. Mob Boss Rob Moss*

            Yes! And if they’re like me, they’ll eat a ham pizza the day after having done a full Seder. You just never know without asking.

    3. nnn*

      I know that some religious Jews (and some people in other religions) don’t shake hands with the opposite sex.

      I’ve also met people who wear Jewish religious symbols and don’t adhere to this rule.

      I’m not savvy enough to recognize any correlations between the specific religious symbols people might be wearing and whether or not they shake hands with the opposite sex.

      Given all this information, if I meet someone wearing Jewish religious symbols, should I err on the side of offering my hand or not offering my hand?

        1. Gitty*

          that’s not a bad idea. I’m not sure if NNN is a man or a lady and what religious symbols she is talking about. but I would think for things like a black velvet kippa, a black hat, a wig… Rather err on the side of not offering your hand. it’s kinda awkward to say no, rather not and it’s a pretty safe bet that anyone from those communities would rather not shake hands with the opposite gender

          1. nnn*

            Thanks!

            I’m a woman, and when I first learned this rule I started by proactively offering my hand to any men who were wearing religious symbols.

            Then a man wearing what I’m pretty sure is called a yarmukle (small circle on the top back of the head) offered me his hand to shake, so I was wondering if I was misinterpreting something.

            (When I do a google image search for kippa, the results look the same to my eye as when I do a google image search for yarmukle – not sure if they’re synonyms or if there’s some nuance. I know what you mean by black hats, but I don’t know how to tell by looking if someone is wearing a wig)

            I mean, personally, I have no particular need to shake hands with anyone, but I do it because it’s the social convention. I’m totally cool with not coercing anyone into touching me in a way they don’t want to, I just didn’t want to inadvertently come across as “Ew, I don’t want to shake hands with you!”

            1. nnn*

              Oops, typoed my way into an antonym!

              I meant to say “I started by NOT proactively offering”

            3. Ali + Nino*

              Re: nuance related to kippas/yarmulkes – it’s there! Material and how they are worn can be indicative of the wearer’s community. For your purposes, however, I don’t think you need to get so far into the weeds :)

            4. Beth**

              I would guess that in most western countries, it is only a minority of men who routinely wear a yarmulke/kippa who also observe the prohibition on shaking hands with someone of the opposite sex. So if you just base it on that, you are more likely than not to get it wrong. There are other clues, but none of them is likely to be obvious to people “on the outside” other than maybe wearing a tallit katan (the fringes that stick out from men’s shirts), but even that is not a 100% indication of someone’s position on hand shaking.

              The wig thing will only apply to women, not men. They are one of those things that once you know what you’re looking for, you can often spot, but people who aren’t well acquainted with many religious Jews would not necessarily notice.

              It’s definitely a minefield but as long as you are not aggressive in insisting on shaking hands and take no for an answer, you are unlikely to offend the person.

            5. Gitty*

              I hear you! In my opinion better to come down on the side of not proactively sticking out your hand to any Jewish man covering his head. If they want to shake hands they can initiate.

      2. Ali + Nino*

        Personally, when a man offers me his hand, I’ll shake hands so as not to embarrass him. (My understanding is many rabbis agree.) Would it be appropriate to give a little wave and a warm smile?

      3. MCR*

        Less-observant Jewish person here. The no-shaking-hands with the opposite sex rule is typically observed only by very observant people. For women, this likely means that they wear long skirts and have their arms covered, and may (but not necessarily) wear a wig. For men, they will at minimum wear a kippah. Wearing something like a star-of-david necklace is not at all indicative of how observant a Jewish person is.

      4. Pocket Mouse*

        Relatedly… what’s the guidance on shaking hands with non-binary people? If I were in that situation (as the non-binary person) I wouldn’t want to have to out myself or pull the focus to our respective gender identities in order to do the respectful thing. Is this on the radar for folks who have gender-based rules around handshakes?

        1. Beth**

          My understanding as a Reform Jew is that the prohibition is linked to menstruation. So people may be more concerned about whether the individual is capable of menstruation than their gender identity/presentation, if they recognise the concept of non-binary gender identities at all.

        2. Gitty*

          In that scenario I would think to just not initiate handshakes across the board. If the other person wants to initiate they can.

    4. Jiminy Cricket*

      This is a great discussion and you are generously answering some good questions.

      Heads up to others for context: People can be “religious Jews” in lots of different ways: Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, etc. Someone who is Conservative or Reform, for example, will have different practices or needs from someone who is Orthodox, but they are not (necessarily) non-religious.

      1. Gitty*

        Fair. I’m happy to clarify that I’m referring to orthodox religious Jews in all my responses

      2. Gitty*

        I’m so sorry for your loss is always good. the traditional Jewish phrase is Baruch Dayan Haemet just as an FYI. It means, “blessed is the true judge”

      3. Beth**

        Jews don’t do flowers for a death, so avoid those. My experience is that expressions of sympathy vary between Jewish communities. Here in the UK it’s standard to wish the mourners long life. American Jews tend to wish that the memories of the deceased will be a blessing.

    1. Tuckerman*

      What tips do you have for small businesses who don’t have money to hire someone for SEO or social media marketing? What DIY tasks are the most impactful on getting new clients?

      1. T.N.H*

        Only invest your time in social media if you can keep up with it. To have a good reach/engagement, you need to post nearly every day. If that’s not sustainable, it’s probably not worth putting on your list until you free up time or dollars to give it attention.

        SEO is the opposite. You can use free keyword tools or even Google to get some sense of what you need to include on your website. If you’re on WordPress or a similar platform, you should add a plugin to help guide you. Do you have a blog? Still one of the best ways to drive traffic to a website. Also, accessibility is so important both for SEO and for being an ethical business.

    2. LunaLena*

      I work in marketing for higher ed, and am hoping to hire a social media marketer soon. Amongst other social media and marketing-related things, I would like them to create short videos to show campus life and culture, targeted towards prospective and current students. What tools should I be giving them to help them succeed in the role?

      Also do you have any insight on marketing to Gen Z vs Millennials/Gen X/Boomers?

      1. T.N.H*

        Higher ed is wide open for better social media marketing. One thing you have going for you is your students. If you work on a college campus, you probably have student influencers there every day. Partnering/collabing with them will give you a huge boost.

        In terms of tools, branding is going to be really important. You probably don’t want to jump on every TikTok trend as an institution. Working closely with your hire to get a really good sense of your message will likely be one of the most important things you do.

        I’m sure someone would have an answer to your last question. Instead of thinking about generations, I usually look at my audience and target to them regardless of age.

        1. LunaLena*

          Thank you! As a social media ignoramus (I don’t even use social media in my personal life), I appreciate your insight.

    3. Phone A Friend*

      What is your background for getting into social media marketing?

      I’ve always wanted to pursue it and felt like 10 years ago, when social media was still new-ish, I had solid experience in that I spent 2 years in college running the Facebook for an informal college mascot. But my major was not marketing and then I was in jobs that had nothing to do with social media. What I was thinking of getting back into it, I was in job that was open to me running their social media. I was literally days away from handing over their LinkedIn, with plans of Facebook and Twitter to follow, when Covid hit and I was laid off. Now I worry I’m just way behind the times. I still know Facebook and Twitter/X, I’ve used YouTube and Tiktok, but I know nothing about Instagram and have no recent experience.

      So I guess what would you recommend for someone wanting to do social media marketing?

      1. T.N.H*

        As a freelancer, social is only one part of my job. If you can find a good position in marketing more broadly, you can maybe parlay that into social (this will also depend on the size of the team/organization).

        It’s amazing how different all these platforms are. Creating an account and playing with it will be an important first step to Instagram in particular. But you also should look at what others are doing.

        One important note, social media marketing as an influencer is very different from SMM as a business.

    4. anonymouse*

      I have a side gig doing social media for a small online business. I have over a thousand followers but Instagram apparently only shows my posts to less than a hundred of my followers even on the best days when I have been posting regularly. Is there anything that can be done about this? I’m not sure why they think people follow accounts if it isn’t to actually see the posts from the accounts they follow, it’s quite frustrating.

      1. T.N.H*

        Question, are you posting reels? That’s really the ticket to Instagram right now. You also will get a lot more views if you boost engagement. That can take a few forms including asking people to comment, doing a collab, and using stories.

        1. anonymouse*

          No, I’m not posting reels and I rarely use stories. As a user of Instagram I miss when it was about photos and I don’t enjoy videos/reels/stories so none of that is my skill set or enthusiasm, and it’s hard to figure out a way to make video work for what I’m promoting when I had a highly developed way of using photos. Sigh. OK, I guess I will have to think about if there’s a way to make reels work for me. thank you.

          1. T.N.H*

            Yup, that’s the issue. Tbh, in 2024, I don’t think an account can survive without posting video content. One way to get into this is to make a dummy account and follow all of your competitors/anyone doing well in the space. Spend some time watching their reels/stories/lives and see how they’re doing it. That will give you inspiration and hopefully help guide your next step.

      1. T.N.H*

        Yes, though I don’t know of anyone who makes more than nominal amounts through Instagram directly.

        I think for businesses, you can do a really great job reaching your potential customers if you have a good social strategy that stands out.

        For influencers, you have to have multiple revenue streams. So sponsorships, merch, affiliate programs all working together. Lots of influencers have other connected businesses too such as books, podcasts, substack etc. No micro or even mid-tier level account is making enough to support someone on its own (meaning without those extras like book deals).

    6. nonprofit marketing mgr*

      I’m technically in marketing but will freely admit my social media skills could use a tune-up; I do the basics (create overall strategy based on competitive & audience analysis, produce a mix of content types, collaborate with partner orgs) but I know I’m not on the cutting edge. There are a few things I’ve been wondering about—any insight/perspective would be much appreciated!

      Tagging: I’m wary of over-tagging, so I usually just tag organizations and individuals directly referenced in the post, and sometimes e.g. #AAPIheritagemonth if the post is tying into a bigger campaign. How big of a deal is tagging in general, and am I missing an opportunity even if I find it a bit gauche?

      Carousels: Years ago, I remember the accepted wisdom being that carousels got more engagement/reach because IG would push them onto the feed multiple times. Is that still true?

      Other platforms: We’ve left Xwitter and my org has policies forbidding TikTok and Snapchat. We have a Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube; I definitely don’t want my org on Tumblr, and I get the sense BeReal is on its way out. I have toyed with the idea of a temporary Discord for events, but that might be more work than it’s worth for our audience. I’m keeping an eye on Bluesky and (to a MUCH lesser extent) Mastodon, but are you aware of anything else on the rise? We’re a science education org affiliated with an undergraduate program, if that matters.

      1. T.N.H*

        It sounds like you’re on the right track! I’ll answer each piece on its own.

        Tagging: I would stick to only tagging people in the content. Are you doing collabs? Also are you tagging/mentioning in stories? That is where you’ll expand your reach because those other accounts will repost etc.

        Carousels: As discussed above, you should move your focus to reels. To be clear, most successful accounts have a mix of images and video content. But reels are what will gain you traction if you’re looking for that next level.

        Other platforms: This seems like the right stance to me. There is a bit of a gender disparity on these different platforms which you might need to consider. For Gen Z, Instagram generally skews female whereas Discord more male. Even though you have it, you may be overlooking YouTube as a social media opportunity, especially shorts. Surprisingly, LinkedIn is having a moment among younger people right now too.

        1. nonprofit marketing mgr*

          Thank you so much—this is all very helpful! I hadn’t even thought about LinkedIn, wow.

    7. I Was Supposed to Be in Audience Services*

      Detailed Audience Targeting for Meta— how would, say, a small theater company take better advantage of this feature? Specifically for a social media manager who has no idea how any of this works and probably shouldn’t be in charge of this anyway?

  29. Justin*

    Okay. I have a doctorate in education and have been teaching for 16 years. I’ve been teaching adults for the past 13. I’m also an author.

    I also have ADHD and compensate for my poor memory by being very energetic and intentional.

    I know how to run/lead a meeting, how to push through my executive function issues and be very early on completion, and how to present/teach/etc.

    I also know how to get a (nonfiction) book contract (and how to complete said books – I’ve completed two and have a third contract upcoming).

    And I am also Black, and I write about racism (and neurodivergence) so I can also give DEI guidance, even in the current nonsense situation.

    And you are all adults so I am happy to teach all of you anything listed above.

      1. not applicable*

        Seconded, especially since you sound as though you have an extremely fulfilling schedule!

        1. Justin*

          sorry I was on a plane for a while.

          I honestly bring a ton of myself into my writing. I look for something that connects me to the task and write from that angle and it flows

          1. Justin*

            Like half of my dissertation ended up being about my diagnosis process, even though the study was about racism and education.

            And if I’m ever “stuck” I actually starting writing about the fact that I’m stuck. Like, one of the chapters in my book starts with “I struggled with what to title this chapter” (or something like that).

    2. Miss Chanandler Bong*

      I highly suspect I have ADHD. I have pretty good coping skills, but it’s become apparent to me that I might need additional help (specifically medication; I already see a therapist). How do you go about getting an official ADHD diagnosis? I’ve been looking into it, but keep putting it off (because of course I am, lol).

      1. constant_craving*

        If you’re seeing a therapist, just ask them to evaluate. If for some reason they won’t (unlikely, it’s not a particularly challenging diagnosis to evaluate for), they should provide you a referral.

        (I’m a grad student in clinical psychology who specializes in ADHD, in case you’re wondering where I’m getting my info)

        1. Alice*

          Fwiw, I wanted to be evaluated for ADHD as an adult. I called my behavioral health insurance and used their service that finds an in-network provider in your area with availability. They set me up with someone who said, at the beginning of our meeting, “I don’t diagnose ADHD in employed adults.” Ok, why are we here?

      2. Earlk*

        Honestly, the easiest way is paying. I will say though, if the place you’re getting an adult diagnosis from isn’t interested in at least some feedback from a parental figure who’s known you since childhood I wouldn’t consider them to be particularly robust in their diagnosis.

    3. Late in life ADHDer*

      I’m here for any/all ADHD/executive functioning tips. Especially the part about completing tasks early.

      1. Justin*

        The sad fact is I used to procrastinate and then my parents told me they’d stop paying for college (this was in 2005) so I took a boring day where I didn’t have much to do and wrote down everything I had to do that day, including meals and such, and forced myself to develop a different sort of anxiety, of NOT getting things done. It took several years.

        But now I sort of operate under an “if I stop this I’ll fall apart” mindset so I do things (within reason) as soon as I can.

        Again, it took like a decade though.

    4. Charlotte*

      Thanks for sharing! Just seeing what you have listed as your expertise gives me some hope– I am a person who writes (and would like to complete my short story manuscript) as a side thing to my career, but also have what I strongly suspect is ADHD, which affects both my hobbies as well as my job.
      Can you talk more specifically about your coping mechanisms for pushing through poor memory and procrastination/time blindness, if that’s also something you deal with? (I feel like I used to be able to rise above my flakiness issues with charm and energy, but that was pre-parenthood and pre-remote work.)
      Thanks!

      2. Justin*

        I said this above but, I do have a terrible short-term memory. The boring answer is alarm/reminder overkill, like to the point where I am actually annoyed by my reminders enough that I check ahead of time so I can do what I’m being reminded of before my email/phone/text starts blaring.

        And I deal with time-blindness by just being absurdly early. I was at the airport today and the security line was much longer than usual, it took an hour. But I was so early that I still had 45 minutes before boarding when it was over.

        I am also a parent (to a toddler) and work hybrid, for the record. Frankly going into the office occasionally also helps (they don’t require it), because changing scenery is novel enough to diminish some of the mind-drifting.

        1. Justin*

          And as far as the manuscript stuff goes, I admit that I got my contracts by doing talks and other things (writing shorter chapters) and publishers found me, but I still had to apply. I knew I’d never finish my manuscripts without a deadline, though.

    5. Justin*

      I will keep checking here occasionally but if anyone wants to contact me more extensively (or buy my book about neurodivergent students of color), you can find everything (including a contact button) at j p b gerald dot com.

    6. Rear Mech*

      I also have ADHD and compensate for my poor memory by being very energetic and intentional.

      I know how to run/lead a meeting, how to push through my executive function issues and be very early on completion.

      All this right here! I am struggling in a new job right now. Any very very concrete small steps I can start with would really help. I see tips that are so big picture I don’t have the executive function to figure out an implementation for them. Working in a Microsoft + niche accounting software desk job environment, in case that is relevant. I’ve never had such an e-mail heavy job before and that combined with understaffing and general chaos is making me feel like I’m drowning.

      1. Rear Mech*

        After reading some of the other comments, I guess what I mean to ask is how to do things like “be extremely early” when everything is in triage mode – there’s a constant barrage of past due tasks and not everything will get done. Rules and expectations are in flux and that makes it even easier to just not do or not finish stuff.

        1. Justin*

          Well, that’s the thing, I do things extremely early so when sudden/triage occurs I can roll with it. But frankly I don’t triage well when it’s outside of my wheelhouse (teaching and writing). So when something happens suddenly but it’s teaching/writing, I’m good. And when it’s something else I fail

        2. Annie*

          It doesn’t sound like “be extremely early” will be realistic in your workplace.

          Here’s how I dealt with a constant backlog situation at a prior job: Set a personal goal that’s not super unrealistic for how many work items to get through in a day or hour based on the specifics of your work situation. Treat this goat met as an achievement unlocked every time you hit it. That can keep motivation levels up.

          If you have a general idea of how much time it takes to complete each work item, set a timer for that amount. If you finish the work item before the timer is up, great! Give yourself a breath or even a mini-break if you know that helps your ADHD brain/flow, reset the timer, then move on to the next one. If the work item is still in progress when the timer is up, don’t sweat it! Take a breath, finish the work item, reset and adjust your timer, then move on to the next one.

          If you have different types of work items that each take different amounts of time to complete, you can set a timer/alarm for each type in the Clock app built into Windows.

  30. Clydesdales&Coconuts*

    I teach people how to apply for grants and how to get themselves grant-ready. I also design and plan educational curriculum for both adults and youth.

    1. Bonita Beejou*

      This! I want to get into curriculum design/development for adult learners – patient education, healthcare (I’m a nurse). How did you get into this? Do you work remotely and full-time, or is this a freelance based role?

      Thank you!

    2. betsyohs*

      Do you have any resources for very small rural public elementary schools who want to find extra funding by applying for grants? Is that something an energetic parent volunteer could take on? Or is it something that needs more expertise? Any place we can start researching what grants are potentially available beyond google?

    3. Ostrich Herder*

      How did you get started in grant writing, and what would you consider the most important skills? This is something I’ve considered but have never really known how to get started!

    4. KTM*

      Can you tell me what your work title or field is? I’m starting some work with a nonprofit focusing on workforce development in high tech and I’d love consult with someone with your skillset but not sure what to search for.

    5. Lozi*

      I posted this above, but wondering if you might have ideas … any ideas for a platform for doing e-learning for volunteers within a nonprofit? Our volunteers need initial broad training, then job-specific training. Some of it happens in-person, but there is a lot that could be done online on their own time.

    6. ThursdaysGeek*

      Do you think there are grants to help a small church pay for an elevator to make it more accessible, and if so, where would I start looking for and applying for them? (Also, whoever thought split-level was a good idea for a public building?!)

    7. Needful Things*

      I support an organization that provides specialized education for a specific profession. The org would like to hire a consultant to go over their courses/curriculum (especially the exams) to make sure everything is top notch. Is this something you provide, or do you have recommendations on where to find such a consultant?

      The org is also interested in getting accredited, but as a small non-profit professional organization, it’s hard to tell where to go for that.

    8. PivotTime*

      I’m actually doing a grant writing certificate next month so I can add it to my skill set in my job search. How do you get experience in grant writing for organizations? Is it by volunteering or are there other avenues?

  31. theothermadeline*

    Hi! I am really good at presentations and business writing. I would love any suggestions for project management strategies for people with ADHD.

    1. constant_craving*

      Keep and use detailed checklists. I use the free version of Todoist for this. Break evey task down into its detailed subtasks and track each of those. Whenever you assign a task to someone, add a dated check-in on the item to your checklist.

      I know it sounds simplistic, but I haven’t found anything else to be effective. And as someone who provides therapy to adults with ADHD, this is basically one of the main strategies we teach.

      1. Neko*

        I do this. My memory is bad on its own but looking back at notes will bring back all that information when I need it. My project management nowadays is primarily for my part in things, rather than the whole project, but I still use those tools.

        I have free version of Clickup for work, which is probably similar to Todoist. Basically it is a tool that let you make spaces for each project, add tasks to those spaces, with optional sub tasks/due dates/priority assignment/customizable status options. Due dates with reminders are especially important to make sure I am following up on things in a timely manner.

        For work I will consolidate all my information from our vendor ticket system and other sources into Clickup lists that I can organize in a way that makes sense to me. I have email folders for each topic/project, so when I need to refer back to those emails they are easy to find.

        Anytime I have to add something to my lists I do it right away, so I know it won’t be forgotten. I can move it later to a different list if needed. Takes time to set up, but helps so much when you don’t have to worry about remembering all the things at once. And if the initial setup doesn’t work, I can change things around.

    2. Rage*

      ADHD-person here. I’m currently loving Monday.com at work – I was lucky enough to get one of the limited licenses and I used it every day. Every hour, almost. It’s so helpful and customizable.

    3. Susan Calvin*

      (Recurring) calendar blockers for everything; close enough to the deadline to kill the sense of being able to “snooze” it, but with a bit of slack built in in case things go wrong.

      Also check lists, templates and so on – you probably won’t remember to use them every time, but they’re there for consulting when you have that niggling feeling you’ve missed a step.

    4. VeryADHD*

      As a mid-career professional with ADHD and a job with tight deadlines, here are the mechanisms I use to Get the Thing Done with a fair amount of success:
      As others have said, the checklist is key! I aim to be as specific as I can about what items need to get done and by what date, and break larger items down into smaller steps.
      When I go to tackle the checklist, I start with the “low-hanging fruit” – the easier/least complicated items to check off – to help me get into a groove and build momentum for the bigger things.
      I put the (distraction) away. Like PHYSICALLY away from me.
      As I am terribly time-blind, I use a timer that physically shows how much time is passing, which is also helpful to get an idea of how much time a certain task is taking so I can then better judge how long the same/similar task will take in the future.
      I hope these strategies can help!

    5. Another PM*

      PM with ADHD here. I use my outlook calendar to create tags of things I need to do in the future and once they are in there, I forget about them until that day comes up.

      So for example, say I am in a meeting and someone emails needing me to review a slide deck and I don’t have time right now.
      – I go into outlook and schedule an appointment for 0 time (10:00-10:00), color coded a specific to do color (brown), and put it on my calendar for Monday.
      – Once it’s in there like that, I can move it around, so if I don’t get it done Monday, I’ll move it to Wednesday (I personally don’t put need to put it into an actual time gap, sometimes I have everything stacked in the morning just so I see it)
      – I’ll tell myself I can’t clock out for the weekend until I get all of them done on a Friday

      This helps me keep my working memory clear – once it is in my calendar, Current Me can forget about it, Future Me has it under control.

    6. Another PM*

      If you like taking notes by hand, I draw a quick (and ugly lol) square in front of any To Dos that come up for me in the meeting. Then when I am in a boring meeting or at the end of the day, I flip through my notebook and check them off, or consolidate them into another list.

    7. Fluff*

      I am interpreting your question for an ADHD audience vs and ADHD PM (though hopefully it helps both).First remember different brains. Often we get set on “the only way” and this can really impact other brains. ADHD folks have some major strengths which get overshadowed.

      1. For PM type items: use your audience’s language. If I have to work to understand the terminology my ADHD brain has already used up some energy without understanding the real ask or project. For example, “opportunity” might mean a chance to win some $$, apply for a role, take a class and learn a skill, basically something good. It is also a code for problem, something broken, lots of homework, a chance to get scammed, sales pitch for some doohickey, more meetings with more words that have new meetings. I never want to hear my pilot say she has now” has the opportunity to drop the landing gear.”

      2. Tweak your presentations or messaging for the audience group. You may need three slightly different slide decks for three different groups of stakeholders for the exact same project. The timelines and mission slides may be the same, but the wording and how it affects your audience may tweaked to them. Getting the cashiers involved may be different than the stockers, managers and system managers, drivers. Do some of your stakeholders value an advance notice so they can chew on it? Others may not care and only want to learn about the project at the kickoff. The C-suite is all about the global finances and another group is more focused on the trucks running on time or safety features for the same project.

      3. Find the balance between standardization WITH flexibility. How much harm is it to have 2 methods instead of one for the same outcome? Examples might be – everyone must use X, Y channel to communicate. Since it worked for the leaders’ brains, they never considered the impact of constant interruptive alerts on slack or teams. Simply because ‘it did not bother them.’ Productive work time plummeted for different brains. Figuring out how to hide alerts for specific times (like setting alerts for every 2 hours) helped other brains manage interruptions and kept communications current. What one brain thinks is background noise may be a level III nuclear threat alarm for another. Are the new processes making it harder for some brains to work?

      4. Think universal design -> how can your communications work for visual, tactile, and auditory people? Even simple things are huge: double or triple monitors, mouse size, visual timers, ability to work in different places vs everyone only gets one choice for monitor, cameras, etc. Another example: the corporate power point structure. Many have terrible colors and font design -> dyslexia, ADHD, challenging, etc. Having 2-3 templates with different fonts, spacing, colors could be very helpful for more brains.

      5. Energy Management. Some brains need time after a meeting or kickoff, no matter how engaged or energetic they were during the team get together. They may need some time to let everything fly around in their heads. Add those in. They may need to fidget or write or run around the complex. Let it be safe for them to check out of a social lunch or dinner. They may need to recharge and come back to the project after a longer break or the next day.

      6. Clear deadlines – ideal deadlines, partial deadlines, absolutely you will be be fired deadlines. If you say “around next week” that is Sunday night and you get it Monday of week # 3. “Monday Deadline” can mean Monday at 1700, 2359.

      7. Really look for speedbumps and barriers. Simple things can be so hard. Consider the project’s sharepoint website. If your team has to request access to it, then consider that a barrier and that it probably will not be done. The reality is the request has to be remembered, log in, find email with link, click and enter the request, find your ‘request granter’ – who is not in the system yet, fail at asking for access, not getting access. So at the next meeting, I do not have access and I am not asking for it either because “everyone else got it fine.” A solution would be to get a list and grant every team member access by X time and send them the link once completed.

      I hope this helps. The best thing is awareness and asking. Too often the assumption is lazy, rebellious or not wanting to do something. Yep, I can be all those things. Often though, I am trying to guide my ND brain in a NT world.

  32. No Mercy Percy*

    Accountant Excel formula guru here who’s trying to turn that into a career change to programming (I’ve picked up Python).

    1. tan audel*

      We have a macro that automatically calculates some numbers based off a report that’s generated for us—but the number of lines in the report often changes, and sometimes the substance of the lines change (think “Books” unexpectedly gets split into “Nonfiction Books” and “Fiction Books”, or a line is added). Options for totaling these categories without running into trouble when they change and people don’t notice, or is the better solution to rely on manual sums?

      1. No Mercy Percy*

        My suggestion would be a combination of wildcards and SUMIF or SUMIFS formulas. You can select the entire row or column in your sheet and use *book* or *books* in the formula. The * before and/or after tells the formula to look for the text and anything before or after or both, depending on where the * is placed.

      2. Ferret*

        Can you get whoever generates the reports to turn them into an actual Table in excel? You can try this yourself by going to the Insert tab and selecting the Table option.

        Basically this creates a specific data structure, which means that formulas you build off it will reference column names rather than specific ranges – so you don’t need to change anything based on the number of rows. It does mean that column names need to be unique. There is a lot more functionality but it’s a bit much to go into here – there are some good intro videos on youtube

        If you can’t change the report you receive you can create a template table and just clean and paste in the new data whenever you receive it.

  33. ElizabethJane*

    I have a liberal arts degree (English lit) and have successfully built a career in corporate finance and strategy analytics.

    Ask me anything (also I’m really good at excel)

    1. Ashley*

      I love a good pivot table but have never created one. What is the best way to start creating one, and any key things not to forget to do when starting out?

      1. varsha10*

        Just start messing around. Seriously. Move the fields around until it shows the data you want to see.

        1. Jane Anonsten*

          I’m in Supply Chain and do tons of pivot tables, and would add to this that you should use a data set you know fairly well. It’s easier in my opinion to learn a skill when you’re not trying to learn what’s in the data as well.

      2. Ferret*

        Pick a dataset and start messing about – a couple of things I have found below:

        -I find tabular layout much easier to understand (under the Design tab)
        – you can rename the columns to make more sense
        -if you want to you can add data fields multiple times e.g. if you want to check min max and average
        -slicers! slicers are great
        – in addition to the count function you can setup a distinct count of value, but you need to check the option to add the data to the data model when you first create the pivot
        – if you turn the original data into a Table (an option under the Insert tab) then select the table when creating the pivot it will update the data range automatically and you can add columns onto the table as much as you want
        –

      3. LCS*

        A couple other points to consider:
        – When you’re selecting data, if your data set may be bigger in the future, select a larger range to start. Nothing more frustrating than updating data and not being able to figure out why your pivot doesn’t look like it’s capturing the right info, to find that it’s not pulling from the added rows / columns.
        – Descriptive column names – you want to know what exactly each is to easily build your report vs. toggling back and forth.
        – Reminder that you can group date ranges by a variety of day / week / month / year / quarters – this can simplify data sets substantially
        – Reminder that if you’re grouping columns in your pivot, default naming will be like “Group 1”, “Group 2” but you can click F2 while on that cell and rename the group to something useful.

      4. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        I took some great online classes on Excel when I first started working. (I’m good with data, but had mostly only used SPSS). It was Lynda[dot]com at the time and is LinkedIn Learning now. I was able to access it for free through my library.

    2. Maya*

      I have an English degree and am desperate to do something else with it. I currently work in a library. What exactly does day to day look like in strategy analytics? And what is an entry level job description going to be?

      1. Rae*

        How do you feel about editing/writing work? The organization skills I learned working in a library serve me very well in the AEC industry where there can be hundreds of project descriptions and resumes with each project.

        2. Maya*

          I would love writing/editing work. I definitely have the detailed mindset where I could proofread things all day and not get bored.

          (Echoing the commenter below on what is AEC?)

          1. Rae*

            It is architecture/engineering/construction. I work for a consulting firm. Look for jobs like Editor, Marketing Assistant, Marketing Coordinator, Writer. You’ll never be bored in a job like this, there are new projects and resumes everyday. My role is slightly different, I complete corporate forms and qualification packages and work closely with editors and graphic design staff.
            Here’s a job example: https://careers.meadhunt.com/jobs/6108?lang=en-us

    3. Reader*

      I have degrees in classical music but ended up running the accounts payable and receivable for a small business. I would love to get out of the transportation industry that this small business is in (how is logistics less professional than the arts?), but I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to translate “Can project manage huge projects (operas) involving 70+ people” “can figure out why your numbers don’t match” and “can deal with difficult people (artists and truckers)” into something that gets through an ATS and to a human being without having to go back to school for another bachelors.

  34. CTT*

    I make a LOT of cold calls for work (real estate/regulatory law has a lot more of that than tell you about in law school!) and happy to pass on tips for managing phone anxiety, finding the right number, and dealing with being on hold forever.

      1. CTT*

        I use that time to refine my preparations for the call. I always try to prepare beforehand with a summary of what I want to say. If I’m on hold because it’s a high volume of calls situation, I try to refine my request down to what’s clearest and quickest. If I’m on hold because I keep getting passed around to different departments (like, a state agency that primarily does one thing and I’m calling about the other tiny thing that no one who works there knows they do), I work on revising my ask to something that the person on the phone is more likely to understand and poke around the agency website to see if there are some good keywords there.

    2. Cut short for time*

      I keep trying todo phone banking for causes I believe in, but they take up so much energy because of my anxiety of calling a stranger on the phone. Doing a lot of it/having positive experiences does not seem to reduce my anxiety. Any tips?

    3. Jane Anonsten*

      I hate when someone calls me out of the blue to ask me a question, because the types of questions I’m asked frequently involve me needing to go and research the answer and compare a few different pieces of information — convince me I should answer the calls anyway instead of emailing back “busy day, shoot me an email?”

    4. Sapientia*

      I would love some tips for managing phone anxiety! I hate calling people I don’t know and am rather nervous about receiving calls from strangers, too. Especially if I found a number online and don’t know if they are the right person or can help with my problem.

      I suppose having good scripts can help. Can you maybe recommend some or any sources for them?
      And do you have tips how to not ramble aimlessly when flustered?

  35. June*

    Excel, running meetings, corporate event planning and/or employee engagement/teambuilding – AMA!

    1. Peri peri chicken*

      Hi! In excel- how do you make column headings that stay at the top of your window as you scroll down? So if there is a data table you can see what the column represents even if you are on line 150? Thanks!

      1. Zahra*

        Freeze panes! Someone asked how to freeze panes higher up in the comments and lots of people told them how.

  36. MisterForkbeard*

    I’m the Admin and Service Owner for the largest NetSuite (SAAS/ERP service) install in existence. Happy to answer questions about the service or what it’s like to run an internal business service for 10k+ users.

  38. I knit and crochet*

    Anyone have advice on how to start a knitting and/or crochet business? I make hats, scarves, coasters, and Christmas ornaments.

    1. Skoobles*

      Bluntly, don’t.

      Your competition for knitted/crocheted items are going to be selling things at cost of materials because they aren’t really a business trying to make money, or selling things at extremely low labor prices because it’s made somewhere that does not have high wages for labor. It is going to be almost impossible for you to make things and charge a reasonable labor rate when you are competing in that arena, so you’re likely only going to get a small profit out of a huge amount of work.

      If you do want to make it a business, then you would need to find some sort of hook that drives people to you specifically, like the guy making custom rugs that went viral on TikTok… but trying to go viral is a hard bit of career advice.

      1. For the Love of Thread*

        Hard agree on trying to sell made products. My creative business teaches people to quilt and sells digital patterns. People are more likely to invest in those, and I only have to create them once to sell many.

      2. Tau*

        I am admittedly a slow knitter, but every time I do the math on handcrafts I don’t see how anyone can make it make sense as a business model. Materials alone often cost me more than many people would think is reasonable. If I add on a remotely reasonable hourly wage, I reach triple-digit euro amounts for stuff like… a hat.

      3. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

        I feel this so hard. I recently made a thing (sewing, but with fabric I had hand-embroidered) that is useful for the group hobby I do. Several people made jokes about wanting one. I did the math and realized that minimum wage for my time would set the price at nearly $1000 (mostly the embroidery).

    2. For the Love of Thread*

      Hi! I’m a creative entrepreneur who teaches free motion quilting online. That’s a really big question. Do you have specific tasks you want to do? If not, I’ll come back and answer the big question.

        1. For the Love of Thread*

          I’m not sure if it’s allowed to share a link, but smoosh my username into one word and add .com.

      2. I knit and crochet*

        Honestly, I am in the beginning stages of figuring things out so I am just at the bug questions stage.

    3. Mel*

      Published pattern writer here with a lot of contacts in the craft industry, but I’m starting with a much simpler question than applies to anyone thinking about business building:
      what does success look like for you?

      1. I knit and crochet*

        For me, ideally success would be it being my main income. I realize that’s probably unrealistic.

    4. whistle*

      You might have a market for the ornaments, but there is literally no way to make a profit off of hand knitted or crocheted hats and scarves. Let’s say you can make a hat in 4 hours. If you charge $20/hr for your labor and $5 for the yarn, you are at an $85 hat and still haven’t covered any business expenses.

    5. Rex Libris*

      I have an acquaintance who sells crochet items at Renaissance Faires. She said the hard part is getting customers to understand the pricing. You have to really sell that it’s handmade, how many hours go into it, the better quality, the better materials, etc. She said you’ll still get many, many people who will never understand why they should buy a $50 tea cozy from you, when they can get a $12 tea cozy at Wal-Mart.

      Going with materials that can help justify the price point (hand dyed yarn, natural and/or organic fibers, whatever) helps mitigate that.

    6. Iris Eyes*

      If you make a customized item get money up front, not necessarily all but at minimum enough to cover materials and get everything in writing (materials used, size, colors etc) NO EXCEPTIONS. Not for nobody.

      And don’t be afraid to ask a fair price if your workmanship and materials can back it up. There are people willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a crocheted hat, there are people willing to pay thousands of dollars for a garment, not many but its not impossible.

    7. Usurper Cranberries*

      Knit and crochet are so time intensive that selling products for anything like what they’re worth is extremely challenging. The people I see succeeding in the knit/crochet world tend to be selling patterns and classes more than finished items. Possible exception for the amigurumi makers since folks will drop a surprising amount of money on plushies (but beware of copyright since lots of the most popular plushies are fan art).
      On the other hand, if your goal is mostly to recoup yarn prices plus make a little extra, I’ve seen people do well partnering with local cafes/coffee shops/similar small businesses where they put a little basket of items near the checkout to sell on consignment.

    8. WellRed*

      A friend sells knitted hats, one pattern. They are $25 and she’s a regular during the fall craft fair season. I think she maybe sells about 2,000 annually but I can’t tell you if she’s profitable. Her retired mom helps her knit and i suspect other family members are ocassionally pressed into service or she’d never be able to do it.

  39. Lab Boss*

    Long-time summer camp employee here. Do you have questions? Are your kids (or you) looking for a summer job and you’re unsure what to expect? Are you dubious about whether skills will transfer? Do you just want to know if it’s like the movies? Ask away!

    1. Hlao-roo*

      A few questions that are just to satisfy my own curiosity:

      – What do you do (employment-wise) the rest of the year?

      – What’s the breakdown of long-term summer camp employees vs. high school/college students who only work at the camp for a few years? Are there enough long-termers to create a consistent work culture year-to-year, or does the culture change with the short-term employees (and maybe also with the mix of campers)?

      1. Lab Boss*

        I was only on full-time summer staff while I was in high school and college. I didn’t work in HS, and in college I worked in a professor’s lab during the school year. He didn’t love that I took summers off but we made it work. Post-graduation I have a full time job in food safety, although I do take some vacation every year to go help out at camp for old times’ sake.

        The vast majority of our staff are 15-21 year old HS and college students, with the rest being a mix of retirees, teachers (and others with seasonal work that lets them have free summers), and full-time employees of the organization that runs the camp. The vast majority of our youth staff work 1-2 years, but if you last longer than that you probably love it enough to work for 5 or more. The year-round employees mostly work behind the scenes (office jobs and maintenance), so the “camp culture” is mostly driven by the summer-only youth staff. We saw “generations” where you’d get a number of summer staff that would all last for 4-6 years and kind of drive a culture, then as they moved on the culture would shift to be driven by the next group of long-term-short-timers.

    2. hypoglycemic rage*

      genuinely I do actually want to know if it’s like the movies (or, since I read more, the books).

      1. Lab Boss*

        Depends what you’ve been watching/reading :D

        I worked at a camp for a youth organization that I will leave nameless, but the campers came in groups and stayed with their own home group rather than being thrown into a cabin full of strangers. Our program ran for a week at a time, so we’d get new campers in Sunday and they’d leave Saturday. No summer-long rivalries and romances (except amongst the staff, of course). I see the trope of black-market candy or soda sales in a lot of summer camp media but it wasn’t any kind of taboo at ours, we sold those things at the camp store, unless it was hot enough we were limiting them for safety.

        I think America’s pop-culture view of summer camp is based on 80s movies, and I’m too young to know if those were accurate. The counselors certainly get up to things when nobody’s looking, sex and smoking and drinking DID happen (although very little drinking- that would leave you unable to respond to an emergency, so it was much more closely watched for and punished). We did have a “rival” camp an hour or so drive away, and the counselors would do pranks back and forth (the rivalry was just between the counselors, part of the deal was that we should never impact the campers’ experience by goofing around with each other).

        Is there anything specific you’re wondering whether it really happened?

    3. ferrina*

      When is the right age to start looking at sleep-away camps for kids? How do you know when your kid is ready? And how to do you find a good sleep-away camp?

      1. Lab Boss*

        I described how my camp worked in my reply to hypoglycemic rage, above- when the campers are coming in with a group of people they know and staying with them for a week, it’s a different experience than season-long sleepaway camps where they’re going in relatively alone and staying for a longer time. I don’t know about the latter kind of camp in detail. The youngest campers at my camp were around 11-12. For the most part that was just fine, we had some homesickness but rarely was it bad enough they needed to go home mid-week or didn’t end up having fun.

        You should be having these conversations with your child. If you are scared or present it as something scary, they’ll pick up on that, and if you present it as something fun they’ll pick up on THAT. But don’t decide there’s a “right time” and pressure them into going, or they’ll just be unhappy. Some things to consider- Has your kid spent time away from home before, especially overnights? Day camps, lock-ins, even sleepovers can help get them ready to spend longer amounts of time away from you and away from home.

    4. Lee the sql*

      My kiddo (16) is going to work in camp kitchen for several weeks this summer – any advice i can pass on?

      1. Lab Boss*

        Kitchen staff can get kind of screwed- they get paid the low low summer camp staff pay, but don’t always get to do fun summer camp stuff. Make sure he finds out how much he’s allowed to do outside the kitchen (at my camp we did our best to let the kitchen people come participate in our activities whenever they were free). YOu can tell him to be sure he remembers to drink lots of water- the kitchen will get you dehydrated surprisingly fast. He won’t listen, because he’d 16, but you can tell him.

        If he’s shy/quiet (which was a lot of our kitchen crew) encourage him to try to get out of his shell. When you live with your coworkers, that summer can get long and lonely if you don’t make friends- because if you have no work friends, you also dont’ have after-work friends.

    5. Nelalvai*

      This is something I’ve wondered about since I was a kid at summer camp. The “keep the kids too busy to be homesick” strategy is really effective, but for some kids (me) it was exhausting. I had lots of fun in camps, but without fail, by day 5, I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I was guaranteed to throw a tantrum. How do you support kids with different energy levels or sensory needs?

      1. Lab Boss*

        Broadly, we had a little more of a “build your own curriculum” style model. The campers were pretty free to fill their days to the brim with activities, but also free to have un-scheduled time to just hike, work on crafts, grab a snack, or hang out doing nothing. The days had a lot of “classes” with instruction and scheduled activities, while the evenings were more for camp fires and songs and sports contests and stargazing, but it was all effectively optional and a given camper, or group of campers, could do the amount of activities in the week that made them happy.

        The campers came in groups with their own adults who knew them, so the details of managing any given camper’s mental load and how to neither over- nor under-stimulate was mostly on the adults with them, who a) knew them personally and b) only had to mind their own campers, not an entire camp. We facilitated the actual activities, and of course got pretty good at spotting a camper who was having trouble and helping to course-correct how their week was going.

  40. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

    I’m a lawyer. I can’t give legal advice, but I’m happy to give tips about how to find/evaluate an attorney. I can also give advice to people interested in the legal field or law students.

    1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

      (with the added caveat that this is going up during my workday so I’ll probably be a little slow to respond.)

      1. theothermadeline*

        I just want to say that my mom and I watched Keeping Up Appearances on PBS my whole childhood, and I never knew the name of it because we only called it Hyacinth, haha! Thanks for bringing back this lovely memory with your fab username

        1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

          Glad I could bring you a little joy! I watched Keeping Up Appearances on VHS with my grandparents. They introduced me to the joys of British comedy, which I still appreciate to this day.

    2. DisneyChannelThis*

      How do I find an attorney for writing up a basic will, end of life wishes, what I want done if Im in a coma etc? What information should I have prepared before meeting them?

      2. Sweet Summer Child*

        I would like to help ease your mind on this. I know it is crazy stressful to think about. So some “good news.” The estate lawyer has a packet of fill in the blank forms for EVERYTHING that you take home (or have mailed beforehand).

      3. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        Oh, this is actually my practice area! You’re looking for a trusts and estates attorney. There are a couple ways you can find one.

        First, I like to ask my network (friends, family, coworkers) to see if they have worked with anyone they recommend. I prefer personal recommendations from prior clients both as the attorney and as a client.
        Second, I check out my local bar association’s referral program. Google “[your city or county] bar association lawyer referral” to see if there is one in your area. Programs differ by region, so YMMV. If you live in a smaller town or county, try using the nearest large city’s bar association as well.
        Third, you can search for lawyers on the web. Google searches are great. There are plenty of professional listings like FindLaw, but also check out the lawyer’s website directly. Be mindful that a lot of awards you’ll see on attorney pages are “pay to play”. I get weekly emails from orgs telling me I’ve been selected for this or that award and for just $500, I can display their widget on my website. Look for things like state bar certifications or whatever your state’s equivalent is – those are distinctions that are truly earned.

        Once you find a couple lawyers, reach out to set up intro calls. Most attorneys offer short 15-30 minute calls for both of you to screen each other. Ask about the lawyer’s experience, what they recommend for your situation, and how they charge (flat fee or hourly). Be mindful of any rates that are a lot higher or a lot lower than the other rates you get. Lower ones in particular give me pause, especially in estate planning.

        Good luck!

        1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

          Also, the attorney will probably have their own questionnaire for you to fill out, but think about who you want to make medical or financial decisions for you, what you want to happen to your assets when you pass, and if there’s anybody you do not want to get money or to make medical/financial decisions for you. Know how much your assets are worth, and what kind of assets you have (retirement, brokerage, real estate, etc.). But the attorney’s job is to guide you through it.

          1. acmx*

            My company offers MetLife Legal Plan for will preparation (the cost is covered). Do you think this is a good option? The plan has a list of participating attny’s.

            1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

              I have no experience with MetLife so I can’t speak specifically to that. I have worked with another employee perk referral service at an old firm and it was fine, but the perk plan only covered a basic estate plan which wasn’t what all of them needed. I would see exactly what MetLife covers versus what you realistically need. You said will preparation – is that just one will, or is your significant other covered? Do you live in a jurisdiction where a will is sufficient or do you need a trust? In CA, most clients need a trust instead of just a will. Are any other docs included? My full estate plan also includes a power of attorney, health care directive, advance health care directive, and other ancillary docs that aren’t a will or trust but are very important to making sure you’re taken care of in the event of incapacity or death.

              1. acmx*

                Ha, turns out I do not have the benefit. I thought our group life insurance provided it but it’s for those with option L/I (I have no dependents so don’t want this).

                So, I’ll just follow your previous advice. Thank you!

              2. Anonymous Chupacabra*

                I worked as a legal assistant for an estate planning attorney who accepted MetLife! For future, it was super easy to look up what they covered on their vendor-oriented website once you have the correct ID number. I could do it in 15 seconds while on the phone with a new prospective client. The ID numbers they use are usually either the SSN or the company ID/badge number.

                Also, in my case we were really accustomed to people not having any idea what they were doing with estate planning or probate (my boss’s practice areas) so we were used to a LOT of hand holding.

                Finally, the attorney I worked for got the majority of his business through MetLife and other legal insurance plans. They were his bread and butter, so our entire team would practically wipe their noses for them. Insurance paid the entirety of the initial consult fee, and we had a standard form that we emailed to clients before their initial phone call that gave us the large majority of the info we would need.

                We made it as easy, convenient, and painless as possible because the insurance companies really held our feet to the fire when/if there was a complaint.

                1. acmx*

                  I had pulled a few options from the website awhile ago (which is why I thought I had it.) so I may still call one of them and mention where I got the info even if my company doesn’t pay

                  I bought a couple workbooks for when I die lol to help get me started.

        3. LLLs*

          This is great info, thank you so much.

          Does anyone know if there is another sort of professional person, in addition to a lawyer and financial planner, who might help me think about overall end-of-life (or disaster) planning? Maybe more like a planning coach?

          My situation is complex, involving caregiving and preventing certain family members from getting involved. I find it very stressful and find myself freezing up whenever I think about it. I need help breaking this down into small tasks and getting it done.

          TIA!

          1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

            Freezing is one of the most common client reactions I see, so you are not alone. I would start with an estate planning attorney. If the caregiving is for an elderly person, someone with elder law experience would be helpful. If it’s not an elderly person, special needs or supplemental needs trusts and medicare planning might be important. Beyond a lawyer, you might want to look into whether a financial planner, social worker, or disability advocate could help with long-term planning.
            Good luck!

    3. The Prettiest Curse*

      I think a lot of people would find it useful to know how to prepare for an initial meeting with a lawyer, especially one in the area of employment law.

      2. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        Facts are the most important part of any legal case, so have those ready. X happened on Y date, it was witnessed by Persons A, B, and C. Be honest with them about your own actions as well, because I cannot tell you how often a case is messed up because of a fact that the client hid or underplayed.

        Be prepared with questions. Those will really depend on what your issue is, but the typical ones are estimates for the timeline for different steps, costs for different steps, and likelihood of success for different steps.

      3. QED*

        Employment law is not my area, but I am a lawyer and I do intakes, generally with an eye towards litigation. Everyone is slightly different, but for me, for a first meeting, it’s most helpful if a potential client can explain why they’re looking for a lawyer, what outcome they want, and what they’ve done so far (if anything). And then be able to answer factual questions about the situation. So for example, if you got hit by a car and you want your medical bills paid by the person who hit you (forget car insurance for a second), you should be able to tell the facts of the car crash to the lawyer, say how much your medical bills were for and what injuries you suffered, if there were any non-medical bill effects from the crash, if you already tried contacting the other driver, if you have health insurance and did it pay for any procedures, stuff like that. I would also not go into a first meeting expecting the lawyer to say at that meeting that they’re going to file a lawsuit immediately. Lawsuits are expensive and time consuming and if you can get the outcome you want with a letter that threatens a lawsuit and then a settlement, that’s often preferable.

      4. The Rain In Spain*

        I think it’s helpful to prepare a timeline of the facts/relevant issue(s) as well as any relevant documentation you have.

    4. Anon query*

      How would one find an attorney who does employment law specifically in academia? Almost everyone we’ve found does either employer-side, representing the institutions, or specialises in representing students in disciplinary hearings. How does one find a lawyer with experience representing faculty members? (It would be for issues like discrimination, hostile workplace, etc)

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        Again, referrals are probably your best bet. Ask your peers, or ask those attorneys that specialize in students if they can refer you to counsel who specializes in faculty members. I don’t practice employment law, but I’m curious as to why you’d need someone who specializes in academia rather than a general employee-side employment lawyer. If you really do need a specialist, you can also see if employee-side employment lawyers have referrals.

      2. QED*

        I’m assuming you don’t have a union, but many university faculties do, so if you know any unionized faculty members in your area, it’s worth asking them and seeing if they can find out who their union uses if they don’t know. You can also ask your local Legal Aid society–they may not know academia-specific attorneys but they will know who does employee-side employment law.

    5. Jo*

      In estate planning for seniors, is there a single source type of professional that can help craft the will/trust but really understands the wealth management side, implications for Medicare, etc?

      I understand that ongoing investment advice would be a financial professional. But getting everything organized legally in the best way for later years….

      Who/what expertise am I looking for? Tips on screening? Red flags that persons might know the legal piece but maybe not big picture?

      Lastly, what is a reasonable amount of time to set up a personal will/trust? A relative did theirs recently and it took a YEAR from the first meeting to final papers. No particular reason. Whenever they asked, Lawyer’s office was “working on it”.

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        A trusts and estates attorney can handle most of what you’re asking about, but for more complex Medicare issues, look for someone who specialized in that. They may also call themselves Elder Law attorneys.

        I have some tips for screening above in the thread, but schedule an intro call with a couple lawyers and feel them out. Getting referrals from people you know and trust will have the most mileage. Ask your financial advisor or CPA if they have referrals.

        The only real red flag is when the price is very low for your area. Estate planning is an area of law that can change quite quickly and where levels of required experience can vary greatly depending on small fact changes. Ask how many plans they’ve prepared for people in your situation – with your type/amount of assets, your family structure, etc.

        Honestly, a year isn’t a great turnaround but things happen. I try to get drafts to clients within 3-4 months, and then get them in to sign within a month after that, schedules willing. But I also handle trust administration and litigation (which makes me better at drafting estate plans, IMO) and sometimes those matters can get in the way of my drafting schedule.

    6. I am not a lawyer, yet*

      I have a 22 year background in title examination and underwriting, and I have been considering going to school to become an attorney so I can get regional-level underwriting jobs. (Most companies I’ve looked at seem to require a J.D. and/or a license to practice law in at least one state.) I do not have a bachelor’s degree, yet – just a high school diploma. Overall, would you say it’s worth the effort to go back to school for 7+ years in your 40s to accomplish something like this?

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        You would want to look at a couple of things to make that decision. What is the anticipated pay rise versus the cost of all that education? Look up people who work in those regional-level underwriting jobs. Did they go to top well-known schools or smaller schools? Top schools are expensive and hard to get into, but smaller schools can offer just as good of an education with lower costs. Finally, does your state offer a way to get a bar license without going to law school? CA has a program where you can study under a state judge or attorney to take the bar. That’s what Kim K is doing, although it’s intended for folks like you who’ve been working in the field for a long time and just need that bar license to move up.
        The biggest thing to remember is that a legal education is expensive and most legal jobs don’t make Big Law salaries. Be realistic of the amount of work and the financial cost versus the most likely outcome.

      2. QED*

        How much more money would you make in regional level underwriting jobs compared to if you just moved up the ladder in the field you’re in? How much would it cost you to go to college and law school, and do these jobs tend to hire people right out of law school? Unless it’s a lot more money and/or you could go to college and law school basically for free, I probably wouldn’t do it just for this kind of job. Part-time college and law school programs exist so you can work while you attend and mitigate costs a bit, but it makes school take longer and means that you’re spending most of your non-work time going to class, doing homework, and studying. If you go full-time, it’s hard to work more than very part-time, especially in law school. Even if you get full tuition scholarships, law schools at least almost never give aid for living expenses, so that’s important to keep in mind. Taking out loans can be worth it, but you want to know ahead of time that you’re likely to be able to earn enough to pay them off.

    7. DataGirl*

      Any advice on how to find an international attorney? I live in the US but need help with social security in Germany. I’ve been putting off dealing with a retirement benefit issue for years because I have no clue how to start.

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        Oof that’s a tough one. Maybe look for law firms with international estate planning experience, specifically with Germany? They may have attorneys in German they’ve worked with, or could refer you to someone. If you have German citizenship, you can ask the consulate for help finding a lawyer.

    8. anonforthis*

      Who would one talk to if they needed to figure out a limited conservatorship situation? Like if someone had a family member and they wanted to mutually agree that the conservatee would give financial decision-making authority over to the other, but not any other aspects of potential conservatorships?

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

        That would be a trusts and estate attorney (sometimes called a probate attorney in different jurisdictions) or an elder law attorney. Lots of info about how to find one in this thread.

    9. It's Me. Hi.*

      I have two family members estranged from their father – one is over 18 and the other turns 18 this year. They both have 529 accounts for college/schooling but they’ve been told their dad has “control” over them. How can we help them get access to their 529s? Is there a way to do it without blowing up the family? TIA

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        Ooof, that’s a pretty specific situation and I can’t give direct legal advice. What I can say is that a 529 account is owned by the account holder, and I don’t believe the beneficiary has any legal rights over the contents (as opposed to a custodial account). However, depending on the situation like who funded the account, a family law attorney might be able to think of some creative way to get some of the access. If your primary goal is not blowing up the family, look for a family law attorney with experience in mediation or negotiation.
        Good luck.

        1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

          Also I may be wrong about the beneficiary’s legal rights over the contents of a 529 account. Double check with an attorney.

    10. California Dreamin'*

      My daughter is a high school junior who eventually plans to go to law school and work as a public defender. We are in the thick of her college search right now. Some colleges have majors like legal studies and criminology, some don’t. We’ve heard that for law school apps down the road, majoring in pre-law (what I assume “legal studies” is) is actually not the strongest degree to have and that she would be better off choosing something more general like history or poli sci. The most interesting majors to her have been things like “Philosophy, policy, and the law” or similar. But for schools that just offer more straightforward majors, she’s having a little trouble figuring out what she’d like to study that would be useful in her future law career. Philosophy is one contender, but I also was thinking that sociology might be good for someone who wants to work in public service type law. Obviously it’s mainly important that she choose something that she’ll enjoy for her undergrad degree. Thoughts?

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        I have never handled law school admissions, but IMHO undergraduate majors aren’t super important so long as they are academically rigorous. 95% of what lawyers do is reading, research, and writing. Pick a major that incorporates those elements. But I have friends and peers who studied everything under the sun. My patent attorney friends have science degrees, up to and including PhDs.

        Look for law-adjacent internships while in college in any practice area to get a feel for the job. Also, I strongly recommend working in the legal field for a couple years BEFORE going to law school. Being a lawyer is very different that a lot of people seem to think. It’s an expensive endeavor, and I see a lot of people on the “K through JD” pipeline who end up leaving the career. Make sure it’s really something you want to do before you spend the money to get the degree.

        1. QED*

          I co-sign working in the legal field before law school! It’s really the only way to see what lawyers do day to day. Additionally, I think it’s also helpful to think a little about why you want to be a lawyer and what you want to do with your law degree before you go to law school (and work in that field if possible). It helped me and a lot of people I know both decide what law school to go to, what internships to apply to in law school, and a generalized post-graduation plan. The people I went to law school with who had no idea mostly ended up taking the route of least resistant to Big Law–which is fine if that’s a choice you’re making, but if not you end up working extraordinarily long hours in a competitive environment when that’s not what you wanted, the combo of which makes it harder to get out.

        2. I work in Public Defense*

          I work in a public defenders office, and we have internships for undergrads, both in our collateral consequences department and in our investigations department. So, the daughter could check out the local Public Defenders office and probably get internships there throughout her school terms.

        3. Anonymous Chupacabra*

          (Hope I’m not stepping on your toes, Hyacinth.) Volunteering with low-cost and sliding scale law firms can help a lot. I volunteered at a national firm called Community Legal Services for a few years before I went for a job in the actual legal field (first as a court employee, then working at a law firm). I believe CLS is present in a lot of major US cities but I might be mistaken. It was also a fabulous way to get professional references from attorneys without having worked otherwise in the field.

      2. Kelly Kapoor*

        I work in legal education and agree that she should take a different path than pre-law/legal studies. She’ll learn everything she needs about the law in law school. The students most prepared are the ones who have really strong writing skills, so a writing-heavy major can be helpful. We also have a lot of strong students from STEM backgrounds that have stronger analytical skills but need some help with writing when they get here. I think you’re right that the main consideration should be something she’ll enjoy.

        1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

          I want to second the enjoyment aspect. I studied history because I LOVED it, and it made it so much easier to do well and get good grades, and that will really help with law school admissions.

      3. only decided to go to law school after college*

        Current law student here — don’t do prelaw or legal studies or whatever, it’s not worth it since your daughter will learn everything she needs to know about law in law school. Philosophy, policy, sociology, English, history–any of these would be great. She will be best served by an undergrad degree program that is rigorous and teaches critical analysis, reading and analyzing large volumes of primary documents, and writing, no matter the specific discipline. (But while she’s there, regardless of her major, I would recommend taking a couple of American history classes to make the context of legal decisions make more sense, especially in areas like property and constitutional law.) If the college also has opportunities for intern/externships in law or volunteer opportunities, that can be helpful for demonstrating at the law admissions stage that she has genuine interest in being a public defender. But you’re spot on when you say what’s most important is that she chooses something she enjoys! Both from a “you get out of it what you put into it” standpoint and a grades standpoint, the best major is just whatever she feels excited to study for four years before she gets to law school. Some colleges don’t even let you choose a major until you’re a sophomore, so since she already knows she wants to do law school after, I would say she can put off the what-major choice for later and for now look more at what individual classes are offered (can she reliably find 10 classes a semester that look amazing to her?), what the campus culture is like, are there clubs that interest her (as a proxy for finding like-minded students), what kinds of internship opportunities are available, etc.

      4. Thrillian*

        Not a lawyer, but I work in criminal justice defense in an administrative office overseeing public defense. I’d suggest seeing if she can intern or shadow or do some court watching (post-COVID, several courts have virtual courtrooms) as a lot of court proceedings are a matter of public record. Going in with fully open eyes is SUPER important because public defenders don’t work like you see in SVU and a lot of members of the public don’t realize that public defenders a) don’t have a say in the cases they take in several ways and b) people get weird about public defenders who represent defendants in ugly and highly visible cases and I feel like that’s important for young people to know.

        THAT BEING SAID, this is a great time to evaluate public defense as a career – several states (such as mine) have an Indigent Defense Commission which sets standards for rigorous criminal defense because of some pretty historically bad performance due to underfunding, so statutes are being proposed, written, and funded to ensure that everyone has access to their 6th amendment rights. Due to these standards, public defender pay has been racing upward and caseload maximums are being researched and enforced. My state’s overseeing commission for the statute is researching how to attract young people into the legal profession, into criminal defense, and finally into our state and most underserved areas.

        If you want to talk more, I’m happy to talk offline but we would need Alison to help facilitate that connection lol.

    11. nnn*

      Do you have any advice on how people can figure out what kind of lawyer they need?

      I often see in various advice forums people saying “get a lawyer” without elaborating on the type of lawyer, and everyone is proceeding with the conversation as though everyone knows exactly what kind of lawyer they need.

      1. The Rain In Spain*

        Sometimes the bar referral website will have a little screening tool for you to figure out what the issue type is, or even a number you can call- they may be able to help, or you can find a general attorney to consult with (for free intro call) and they can likely point you in the right direction.

        1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

          Seconding the bar referral website.

          But in general, you want to identify 1) what the issue is, and 2) does that issue fall into a general practice area. Criminal matters = criminal lawyer, probably defense. Anything other than criminal is civil. Does the issue pertain to something specific like employment, real estate, business, environmental issues, family law? Look for those kinds of lawyers. If it’s a matter that might involve a lawsuit, you want a litigator as opposed to a transactional attorney. Some attorneys do both, some don’t. If you aren’t sure what area it falls in, general civil litigators would be a good place to start.

    12. Q without U*

      How do you find a lawyer in an emergency? What if you’ve been arrested and need a lawyer asap, how do you even get one? What if it’s after hours? People on tv always seem to have a lawyer on tap, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        I have never had to find a lawyer on an emergency basis but here’s what I would do. I would email as many lawyers who practice anything remotely similar to what I need as I can find with a quick summary of the situation and why it’s an emergency. During business hours, I would call and repeat what I said in that email. I would also see if my local bar association has something about emergency representation.
        If I was arrested, I would call the most responsible person who’s number I have memorized (remember, they take your phone when you get arrested, memorize at least one phone number) and ask them to do all that for me.

    13. Ranon*

      What’s the lawyer side of employer provided legal insurance like? (e.g. Legal Ease, etc). Are we talking Delta Dental it’s garbage but it’s all that’s out there, or is it actually a reasonably useful tool?

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        I would be wary of the services provided by employer legal services, just because they’re typically quite limited. I’m a T&E attorney and at an old firm we got referrals through an employee benefit program where clients just got a very basic estate planning package. It was better than nothing, but our hope was they would come back for the full plan at some point. I would read the terms and conditions and get a lot of detail about what exactly is included. Can you add on extra services for a fee, or are they restricted to just what the service provides? Then talk to a couple attorneys outside the referral program to see if you can get a sense of whether what’s covered is what you need.

    14. Mel*

      I’m interested in a juris masters program in employment law (I’m late in my career and don’t have the energy for a JD – I just want to be a better educated HR professional). But I’m curious how lawyers view these programs.

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        I have no personal experience with juris masters programs or how rigorous they are, but we need more HR professionals with employment law education. I personally wouldn’t look down on it unless it was from an unaccredited school or from ASS Law (mostly joking, I think it’s a decently ranked school but some of the recent kerfuffle surrounding that school makes me give it a side-eye).
        See if you can get your company to pay for the program.

    15. Anonanon doo doo doo doo doo*

      My friend overstayed her visa 25 years ago from Russia and is in quite a predicament as the job she had that payed her in cash ended. She has always paid her taxes (somehow) and is a very good person. She adds a lot to her community.

      I think she’s getting bad legal advice. Her lawyer has told her to get married, they don’t need to live together and there’s no interview.

      My question to you is how do I find a decent immigration attorney who handles undocumented immigrants? I did a google search but I’m finding mostly information on attorneys who handle asylum cases. Thank you for any and all help!

      1. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet!)*

        Reach out to the asylym lawyers to ask for referrals for your friend’s case. Use your county or city’s bar referral service. See this thread for more information about those. Research law schools in your area to see if they have immigration law clinics. If your friend isn’t eligible for the clinic, they might be able to put you in touch with attorneys who could help.

    16. PivotTime*

      Hi, this request may be a bit out of left field, so my apologies if it’s not in your wheelhouse. I’m a now-former academic librarian who is almost done a Master of Legal studies program for a second career in the legal field. The degree I’m getting isn’t a JD, but I can interpret legal documents, am concentrating on intellectual property, and had over a decade of research and customer service experience at a well-known university. I’m having trouble figuring out how to make the move into the legal field. I don’t qualify for legal internships because I’m not getting a JD. Lots of jobs I see are for paralegals, but if I wanted to be one I would have spent way less money and time and gotten a degree in that. How does someone without a JD enter the law field? For context, here’s a short summary of my program; https://catalog.northeastern.edu/graduate/law/master-legal-studies-online/#text

  41. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

    I have a wine education certification, and know a lot about wine, managing restaurant wine lists, dealing with distributors, and running wine retail.

    1. Lab Boss*

      I have essentially zero real wine knowledge, and don’t really want to spend a lot of money on “the best” when I probably can’t tell the difference in the best vs the “not bad.” Are there any brands or styles you’d recommend as being pretty solid in your standard grocery-store $10-$25/Bottle range? Some pointers a novice could use?

      1. Lily Rowan*

        Related question: is that 90+ wine actually decent? (I mean, I generally like it, but I don’t think my taste is especially refined.)

        1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

          I can tell the difference between $100 and $10 wine for a lot of different wines, but not for everything. I don’t buy expensive Chianti because I can’t tell the difference between good Chianti and great Chianti. But I can definitely tell the difference with Bordeaux.

          (or do you mean 90+ points on a 100-point scale? It depends on who’s making that judgement, and there has been some serious grade inflation going on. Honestly, I think you should treat ratings like movie reviews – find a reviewer whose tastes match yours. If there’s a reviewer who hates horror movies in general, but you love them, then you should just generally ignore their opinion about anything in that genre.)

            1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

              Oh, no idea. Never heard of them (… quick web search…). There are a lot of direct-to-consumer wine businesses like that, who buy wine from various producers and slap their label on it, that have sprung up in the last 15-20 years. Can be really hit or miss. If that’s the avenue you want to go down, Cameron Hughes would be where I would start. They did good retail business back in the 90s & 2000s before they switched to direct-to-consumer.

      2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        I always start with questions like this by asking about what you eat and what your tastes are. There are plenty of things in that range that are objectively good value for the money, but your subjective opinion depends on what you like and if you’re eating anything with it. The best Cabernet in the world is probably not going to be appreciated by somebody who’s eating Dover Sole.

        My cheat sheet on this: big red meat – Merlot, Cabernet, French Rhone blends (from France, California, or Australia), red Zinfandel. White fish: white Rhone blends (grapes including Viognier, Marsanna, Roussane) or Albarino from Spain. Pork and salmon: Pinot Noir, some Spanish reds. Things with lots of tomato sauce – red Zinfandel, southern Italian reds. Cocktail hour: can be almost anything, like big Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Italian whites, etc.

        The second thing for this is geography – you’re going to better deals, in general, by getting wine from Spain, South America, and to some extent Australia and regional French (not Bordeaux or Burgundy).

        So on to brands: if you’re near a Trader Joe’s, they have plenty of house brands besides Charles Shaw, up in the $8-15 range, that I like (disclosure – I worked there about 20 years ago). Other large retailers (CostCo, Kroger) do similar thing – they can sell them for less because they aren’t burning lots of money on advertising. Louis Jadot is a regional French producer that has good affordable wines as well as premium stuff. Penfolds is a large Australian producer with the same kind of business model – lots of affordable stuff plus some $100 and up.

      3. too many dogs*

        Years ago, I was contemplating taking a class in wine, but the cost was a little steep. I can’t tell the difference between a good box wine and a so-so bottle of wine. The manager of the liquor store told me to do this: Get a 3-ring binder & notebook paper. Buy a bottle of wine & drink it (that was easy). Take a picture of the label & put it on the paper. Write down the date, what you liked & did not like about the wine, any food it tasted good with, any comments. Do this with every bottle you try. Try different brands, and different kinds of wines. After a while you’ll know what you like. AND IT WORKED! After a while I knew which brands I liked, and what kind of wine I liked.

    2. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet)*

      Do you have any advice on wine pairings with plant-based or vegan food? I’ve heard a lot about how you pair red wine with red meat and white wine with fish or chicken, but what if there isn’t a traditional protein?

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Ignore the protein. Consider the taste profile of the food overall. Tandoori chicken and tandoori paneer have the same taste profile, and should use the same wine. Ditto chicken parmesan and eggplant parmesan. A grilled ribeye and a grilled portobello can both be served with a big red wine.

        On the flip side, chicken in tomato sauce should be paired with a different wine than chicken piccata.

        2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

          Oh, and to provide some more context on the “red with meat, white with fish” thing.

          Back in, say, the 1950s, there wasn’t a lot of variety of wine available in the US. And most of what we ate was more straightforward food – a steak with a baked potato, a roast chicken. No nouvelle cuisine, no fusion cuisine, the only respected ‘ethnic’ cuisines were generic French and Italian. So that so-called rule was fine for people with pretty plain tastes and not much to choose from in the store.

          But I think the better rule is that the wine should either complement the overall character of the food, or serve as a contrast. Start with the sauces and seasonings.
          So a spicy pork curry could be served with a zesty red Zinfandel (complement), or a crisp and slightly sweet Gewurztraminer (contrast).

    3. Peon*

      There are SO many descriptors on wine descriptions, how do you figure out what you DO like without just drinking a ton of wine? I take a picture of labels of wines I enjoy, but it doesn’t help when the selection has changed by the time I want another bottle.

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        You can ignore the marketing-speak and start with grape variety and geography. If you really enjoyed a French chardonnay because it was (your taste impression – light/heavy, crisp/risch), then the next time you’re out just look for another French chardonnay and hone in on those simple terms.

    4. DataGirl*

      Are there any *good* alcohol free wines? I can’t have alcohol any more, but I miss the taste of wine, especially a nice, deep, red.

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Sorry, but I haven’t looked at these in a while, but they have supposedly gotten much better in the last decade. I think I recall seeing an article in the Washington Post in the last few months about them.

    5. Database Developer Dude*

      I used to think I didn’t like dry wines, but I’ve found some that I actually like. Is my taste changing or is it something else?

      My go-tos were Moscato and Riesling, but I have a great Apothic Red Blend I’m working on

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Well, Apothic Red isn’t really dry. It’s drier, but not dry.

        It’s very common for people to confuse dryness (which comes from those old medieval terms, and just means ‘lack of sugar’) with the astringent parching feel you get in your mouth from tannins. (Incidentally, strong black teas have lots of tannins too, so sipping some room temperature, unsweetened, strong tea to get a sense of what tannin feels like as opposed to lack of sugar.

        All that being said, yes it’s commonplace for your tastes to change over time, especially if you are broadening your palate in regards to food as well.

        1. Database Developer Dude*

          Oh, my palate has -always- been pretty broad when it comes to food. I’m a fan of Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain (may the latter rest in peace).

      1. Chauncy Gardener*

        Full disclosure: my wine tasting group is having one with a theme of wines in boxes and cans and I’d really like it not to suck

      2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Black Box was one of the earliest brands and is still reputable. And La Vielle Ferme is a French producer from the Rhone Valley that is good quality, and I see that they do boxed stuff too.

    7. Confused Chardonnay Fan*

      My palate loves taste notes like bitter, spicy, sour/tangy, peppery, salty, etc. I generally do not enjoy foods and drinks that are sweet. I like my coffee to be dark roast, richly steeped, no flavored sweeteners added, you get the picture. For cocktails my #1 go-to is a dirty martini with London Dry gin such as Tanqueray. I also enjoy a tart gin gimlet or a good sherry cask scotch (no peaty scotch).

      My go-to wine is chardonnay. I feel like my palate should prefer red wines. I found a bourbon barrel aged cabernet at Trader Joe’s that I like, but I still love chardonnay more. The problem is, sometimes a new chardonnay is fantastic and sometimes I wonder if I accidentally bought pinot grigio because it’s so light and sweet. What regions or flavor notes should I be looking for? I’m still trying to figure out if it’s unoaked vs oaked I like/dislike, if I want it dryer, or what the feature I should look for would be.

      After reading my novel (sorry!), what types/features of chardonnay do you think I should try? Or a similar wine?

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Sounds to me that you want the heavy, rich, buttery style of Chardonnay. So look specifically for ‘oaked’ on the label. New oak and American oak to be more precise. “Aged for 18 months in new American oak”, etc. And barrels can be charred or toasted more or less, too. The style you are looking for is much more likely to come from the US or Australia than it is from France.

        French oak – usually quercus robur – is grown more slowly, and it’s less porous, so it transmits fewer flavor notes, and transmits them more slowly, than American oak – quercus alba.

        Given that you like the peppery/bitter stuff in food, it’s actually not surprising that you’ve gravitated to something like Chardonnay. The tannins in red wine can get foul and metallic when consumed with those kinds of foods.

        If you want to branch out, consider Viognier or Spanish Albarino – they both have rich mouthfeel (texture), and aren’t sweet, but will have different taste notes. Also consider zesty reds that may pair well with your food, like an Aglianico from southern Italy.

        1. Confused Chardonnay Fan*

          Thank you SO much for the detailed response – I’m excited to go wine shopping and try these out! You ROCK!

    8. Syfy Geek*

      To me, all red wine tastes vinegary-acidic. White wine tastes dry, if that’s possible, like I need a drink of something else to wash it down. I’ve had friends all rave about what they were drinking, give me a sip, and when I make a face when swallowing tell me I’m exaggerating, or that I’m a philistine.

      The only wine I’ve found that I like drinking is one with strong fruity tastes, or as my friend says, grape juice with alcohol in it. Any suggestions on what I could try?

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        So full disclosure, I’ve never understood the vinegary thing. Tart yes, but the “ooh it smells like vinegar!” reaction that some people make befuddles me.

        A couple tests you can do on yourself. Maybe you just hate acidity in general, and I want to figure out your reaction to tannin, too (see another comment above).

        Do you like plain cranberry juice or tart lemonade? What about vinegar salad dressings or sour candy? If you really don’t like acidity at all, that strongly limits your wine options, but there are choices out there for you.

        As far as tannins go, make a cup of strong black tea and let it cool to room temperature – what reaction do you have when you taste it? Does it taste really bitter, like you can’t stand it at all and want to spit it out? (There are some people with an abnormally strong reaction to bitter compounds – so called ‘supertasters’ – with 2 copies of a recessive gene for it.)

        If you’re okay with sour, but not with bitter, that limits you to white wines for the most part. Among the fruitier are some Sauvignon Blancs and Rhone valley whites.

        If you can’t handle sour, then you may just need to stick to whites with a little sweetness – sugar helps mask the acidity, which is why we put sugar in lemonade. Try medium sweet whites. Rieslings come in all levels of sweetness, from syrupy to dry – read the back of the label, most producers have a standardized sliding scale they print to guide you. Gewurztraminer is often semi sweet. There’s also Vinho Verde or Moscato, which are lightly sparkling.

        1. Syfy Geek*

          Do you like plain cranberry juice or tart lemonade? What about vinegar salad dressings or sour candy? If you really don’t like acidity at all, that strongly limits your wine options, but there are choices out there for you. Nope, don’t like tart at all.

          Cup of strong black tea and let it cool to room temperature – what reaction do you have when you taste it? Does it taste really bitter, like you can’t stand it at all and want to spit it out? Double Nope- will not drink unsweet hot tea, will not drink unsweet cold tea.

          medium sweet whites. Rieslings come in all levels of sweetness, from syrupy to dry – read the back of the label, most producers have a standardized sliding scale they print to guide you. Gewurztraminer is often semi sweet. There’s also Vinho Verde or Moscato, which are lightly sparkling.- I’m so excited to try wine that won’t make me want to spit it out, or have to hold onto one glass all evening because I’m not drinking it, and if I pour it out, someone will just try to fill it up again.

          THANK YOU SO MUCH, you are the best evil twin ever!

    9. sswj*

      What is the term for wines that have a very … well, thick or heavy mouth feel? It seems to be mostly reds, and occasionally Chardonnay (which I rarely drink). I’d like to figure out how to avoid them. My preference is for tannins, peppery notes, tartness, even acidity, but with a good depth of flavor. I’ve tried some that are marketed as Big or Bold, and lately I’m finding too many have that dense feel to them without any real flavor to back it up. Am I missing something?
      I tend to buy Cabernet Sauvignon, Chianti, certain Pinot Noir, some Malbecs, Bordeaux for reds. In whites/Rose I love a tart Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, and anything from Provence.
      I think I need a wine class!

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        You answered your own question. “Mouthfeel” is the standard term for texture and viscosity. Big mouthfeel, heavy mouthfeel, full mouthfeel vs balanced mouthfeel, moderate mouthfeel, delicate mouthfeel.

        Wines that are intended to be drunk on their own (or are so marketed) tend to be bigger on the mouthfeel. Wines that are intended for fine dining will be less full, so as not to overwhelm the food. So the big, buttery, oaky Chardonnay that you order at the bar is not the wine that you drink with a really nice piece of broiled fish.

        Unfortunately, “big” and “bold” are really fungible marketing terms and probably aren’t helpful for you.

        You should also be looking at the fine print on the label for alcohol. In general, higher alcohol levels will create a heavier or more viscous wine (it’s partly chemistry and partly physiology of taste). And alcohol levels have really ramped up in the last 25 years in most parts of the world, as we’ve gotten smarter about growing practices and weather forecasting. Try to avoid any wine with alcohol higher than 14.5% or 15%.

        The same thing goes for residual sugar. A wine with 15.5% alcohol and 0.8% residual sugar will almost certainly feel more viscous in your mouth than one that’s 13% and 0%.

    10. Lurker*

      What are some of the best quality sweeter wines? I don’t like it when the wine is too tart and I’m just wondering which are the better choice if I’m looking for sweeter options

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Well there’s sweet and there’s sweet.

        I assume you aren’t talking about dessert wines. And to help clarify, a dessert wine is not a wine you drink with dessert. A dessert wine IS dessert, all on its own. In fact, traditionally you would serve a morsel of rich cheese with a wine like Porto or Sauternes to clear the palate.

        Grapes that are typically turned into medium-sweet wines include Riesling, Gewurztraminer, and Pinot Blanc – all common in Alsace, in northeastern France along Rhine river. If you’ve got a big enough wine store near you, just hit the Alsace shelf in the French section and you’ll probably do well. Oregon is also a good piece of geography for these grapes.

        Some Chenin Blancs (known as Steen in South Africa) are also sweet.

        But in all of these cases, you need to read the labels, as it’s possible to make a completely dry wine from any of those grapes too.

    11. KTM*

      Do you have any go-to suggestions for resources on becoming more educated about wine like online classes, youtube channel you trust, books, etc? I’m really into cooking (not a professional, but skilled amateur) and feel like I have all sorts of descriptors for food, spices, why things go well together, how they hit my palate. It’s very easy and intuitive for me to describe the profile of what I’m eating but I’m totally uneducated about wine. I think I could probably be ‘good’ at understanding wine pairings and flavor profiles but just don’t know where to start. My end goal really is to be able to try wines and understand what would go well with the food I’m preparing.

      1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        When I was working professionally in the field, I read a lot of material. Technical literature, the more popular magazines, reference works, reviews and commentary in national newspapers (Washington Post, LA Times in particular).

        The Oxford University Press publishes a massive encyclopedic book about wine that is comprehensive and objective. Jancis Robinson (who edited that) is a great wine writer in her own right, too. Oz Clarke has also written a lot of good stuff.

        I haven’t gone out specifically looking for video content about wine education, but nothing I’ve stumbled across impressed me at all.

    12. Rufus Bumblesplat*

      If you’re still answering: any advice on what to try for someone who really doesn’t get on with wine? My OH is convinced there must be a wine out there that I’ll find palatable, but so far not much success.

      I don’t like the taste of champagne/prosecco (plus half a flute rapidly gives me a migraine), chardonnay was probably the worst wine I’ve ever tried, sauvignon blanc was slightly less bad, and merlot and rioja didn’t agree with me either. The only one that I’d consider maybe ok was an Asti.

    1. Formatting is hard*

      Hi! I somehow have changed a setting so that I can no longer do “shift-tab” to reverse an indent or make something back up in paragraph form. Any chance you know the best way to re-set that (or, in general, to get things to back up to the left?)

    2. acmx*

      How do you get level numbering to work properly?!
      1.
      A.
      i.
      My letters/numbers always eventually shift out of place even on a new doc. If I have to edit, half the time I create a new doc because the numbering messes up.

      1. Jane Anonsten*

        I will piggyback and say especially when you want a custom list! How do I know which custom list is the custom list I spent an hour fixing the formatting on?

      2. mh_ccl*

        The best resource out there to explain this is this one from Shauna Kelly. https://shaunakelly.com/word/numbering/outlinenumbering.html

        One large annoyance I have with lists is the struggle of getting them to reset numbers when I restart a list. A workaround I sometimes use is to use my Body Text style as the first level of the list, without any numbering on it. This will automate the restarting, but obviously it may not be practical based on the content of your files.

    3. Student*

      What are the modern-day resources to teach people Microsoft Word, or to learn stuff in Word? Are there specific web sites, videos, or training resources you would recommend? I’m reasonably okay at Word and other Microsoft products, but not great.

      Some of my co-workers are… well, it would be charitable to call them bad at it. But they need to use Word and similar tools now a lot more than they ever did pre-pandemic. They are struggling mightily. We potentially can put work money towards training.

      I could use pointers towards intermediate-to-advanced Word functionality for myself, and my co-workers could use something like Word 101.

      1. MMB*

        Coursera has Microsoft Fundamentals courses as well as intermediate and advanced courses. I just took one to familiarize myself with some functions I don’t often use. They’re pretty inexpensive.

      2. Usurper Cranberries*

        I took a course on Word at my community college as an elective, and it’s honestly been one of the most useful courses I’ve taken in college. If there’s a local community college near you, you might check and see if they have any open-to-the-public Microsoft courses – they tend to be fairly cheap and well put together (at least where I went).

    4. Rosin and Roses*

      1. I had to play around with settings in Word to print stuff for my wedding and now Word or my computer is absolutely convinced that everything should be printed in landscape mode, even if all of the settings are indicating otherwise. I can only print Word documents properly be exporting them first as pdfs. Any idea what’s going on?

    5. ccsquared*

      What are the presets/settings you’d configure or templates you’d set up if you got a brand new install of Word so that you minimize what you have to change for each new project? I’m guessing a lot of us more casual users might be making life harder than it needs to be by not knowing how to configure Word fully for the kind of documents we create on a routine basis.

      1. Annie*

        I’m not sure why Microsoft change the standard “Normal” style to one with extra spacing before each paragraph. But you can open the Normal.dot template and change the Style settings for the Normal style by selecting “paragraph” and setting Spacing Before to zero and Line spacing to zero. That probably bothers me most.

  43. JR*

    I do a lot of volunteer work with a variety of organizations and commitment levels. I can answer questions on
    – finding volunteer work that fits with your abilities/availability/interest
    – managing volunteers, both from a volunteer and a volunteer manager perspective

    1. Geeyourhairsmellsterrific*

      I’m interested in any tips you have for managing volunteers, particularly when you are a volunteer yourself. I’m the chair of a committee at my house of worship and sometimes find myself getting frustrated because people don’t attend meetings or volunteer for tasks. We’re all volunteers and it’s hard to set expectations.
      Thank you!

      1. JR*

        I would say set expectations early and often, especially when recruiting new volunteers. Having even one new volunteer in the group can give you a great reason to remind everyone of the purpose of your team, average workload per week/month/event, types of work and how people can sign up for/be assigned to tasks.

        Be willing to ask specific people to take on tasks. Ex, we need someone to update the newsletter with event info by Friday. John, would you be able to help with that?

        If you are part of a leadership team, take some time to meet separately from the rest of the volunteers to make sure you are all on the same page about how you want to recruit, what kind of orientation you offer, and how to deal with tasks no one willing to do.

      2. I Have RBF*

        IME, you always need a backup plan when you are expecting things from volunteers who may not be as committed as you are. One con-com I chaired I ended going with plan D for one area, because of people flaking out.

        Also, you need to be able to say, “No communication, no showing up means that you won’t be doing X any more.” A lot of people like to say “I’m the X person at my church”, but if they don’t actually show up and do X on a regular basis, replace them. Yes, this is one place you should ask that they make sure that their duties are covered if they can’t make it. If they have a second/understudy, it helps.

    2. DisneyChannelThis*

      I’ve been struggling to find weekend/weekdays after 6PM volunteer opportunities, most seem to be 10AM Tuesday etc. (I work full time and can’t do weekdays). The weekend stuff I have found often has orientation on weekdays too. Any tips?

      2. JR*

        Places around me that have weekend opportunities are food banks, soup kitchens, zoos, museums, and environmental groups doing various clean up projects.

        If you find a place that only has weekday orientations for weekend volunteer shifts, you can reach out to their volunteer coordinator to see if it’s possible for you to have a weekend or weekday evening orientation. Some places will make exceptions if they really need people.

        You might also have luck volunteering at special events which are often in the evening or on weekends. Say a museum is only open M-F 8-5, but once a year they have a special weekend fundraiser. This might be a bit more piecemeal than you want though.

        It’s possible your city has some sort of central website listing volunteer opportunities with a variety of local organizations. Mine does, and it’s sortable by type of activity, day of the week, time of day, etc.

    3. anonymouse*

      You’re just who I was looking for! I’m looking to get back into volunteering after giving up my long-time gig at the start of the pandemic. I have done a lot of volunteer work in the past with animals but I’m thinking I should try something different. I currently work in publishing, so writing/editing/publishing is my other skill set. So far I only have the boring idea of seeing if they take volunteers to shelve books at the library. The other vague notion is, I work specifically for a manga publisher, and I know that These Kids Today are very into manga and anime, so could I, I don’t know, offer to run a club at a school? but is that a thing if you don’t work at the school? I was a college teacher long ago so I also have that background to invoke if it would help. Anyway, any hints you may have would be most appreciated.

      1. JR*

        Two different routes to go with talking to The Youth – search for schools in your area that already have these clubs and reach out to teachers in charge of these clubs to see if they are interested in having you come in for a talk. Or reach out your local library, probably whoever is in charge of teen or children’s programming, to see if they would be interested in hosting an anime or manga focused program.

        You can volunteer in schools if you aren’t a parent. I don’t know how likely a school would be to let you run a whole club without any prior relationship to the school, but I think they would be ok with you assisting in the library or helping the teacher in charge of the school paper or yearbook. You would definitely have to get background checked.

        1. anonymouse*

          Oh, I know that the local library has programs, I am on their email list and get emails about them at least once a week, and yet I didn’t put two and two together in literally my own post to think of that, thank you. I have survived being background checked in the past so that is not an obstacle, but the library might be an easier place to start. thanks!

  44. Combinatorialist*

    I give excellent technical presentations to both technical and non-technical people. Happy to answer questions on that.

      1. Combinatorialist*

        So a couple things:

        – Make sure to tell a story. Even a technical talk should have one (though it might be something like “this problem is really hard and we tried a bunch of things). Generally I will even say something like “Today I will tell you the story on how we deal with Problem X for Project Y”.
        – Link everything you are saying to your story. Even if people lose the details, what is the main thing you want them to leave with. Repeat it. A lot if the talk is long. Know how and why each slide contributes to the story.
        – Fit the story to the length of a talk. A 10 minute talk will need a short story that is very focused on the message. An hour long talk has time for the rambles and tangents (but still related material). The number one mistake I see is trying to fit all the details in a time window that isn’t appropriate for them. Everyone knows there are more details, you can even say there are more details if you feel the need to. Only include what’s relevant and appropriate for the story and the time frame you have to tell it.
        – Don’t underestimate the power of a well-timed joke, but make it relevant. It should help make the story more memorable.
        – Don’t use jargon unless you KNOW everyone in your audience is familiar with it.
        – Nothing is too basic to say. Either 1. people know it and therefore feel smart and connected to the material or 2. people don’t actually know it and you won’t lose them right at the very beginning

        1. It's me, hi, I'm the commenter, it's me*

          Hi Combinatorialist, I was going to post something similar :-). I really like this list! Let me add a few things of my own:
          — Whatever the speaker is imagining as the baseline knowledge of their audience is almost always too high.
          — Whatever the speaker is imagining as “the amount of material my audience will retain from one slide to the next” is almost always too high. Be ruthless about “does the audience actually need to know this to understand the story I’m telling?” and if the answer is no, cut it, and if the answer is yes, spend more time on it.
          — Pictures pictures pictures
          — In math, the way we think about a problem versus the way we write a completely correct solution can be quite different. (I assume other technical fields have some version of this too.) The things you say in the talk should be all about how you think about the problem; anyone who wants a completely correct solution can go read the completely correct solution you wrote in your article.

      2. Combinatorialist*

        The other thing when material is really difficult/dense is to assume that people will get lost and offer them multiple entry points back into the talk. This looks like frequent reminders like “we are trying to solve problem X and we have tried A and B so far and talked about why they didn’t work. We will now talk about C.” So even if they missed some details from A and B, they can pick it up again.

        Just like nothing is too basic, there are not too many reminders of what the key points you have already talked about are.

  45. Meh*

    I’m not a teacher (not nearly enough patience!) but I’m very good at casual wrangling of young (preschool-elemetnary aged) kids in random settings.

    1. Cj*

      I did decide to eat it yesterday, so I’m asking this a little late. fortunately it didn’t make me sick comma so apparently it was okay.

      I had called fixings ready for a burrito before I discovered that the Top the Tator I use on them was dated the middle of February. it had never been opened, and seemed okay so I did go ahead and eat it. this is a safe thing to do, or should I avoid it in the future?

      1. Ann on a Moose*

        Package dates are often based on freshness, rather than safety. Or, if safety based, are conservative; most things will still be fine past their package dates, if not quite as tasty.

        Top the Tater, being sour cream based and thus dairy, will go off quicker, but should be fine if unopened. Of course, it’s always a good idea to be safe; if it looks or smells off, don’t eat it. If you’re unsure, a tiny taste test isn’t likely to kill you even if it has gone bad. Be sure if you’re looking for mold or other signs of “this isn’t right”, you look at the container the whole way around; I’ve seen mold in a patch on the side of a sour cream container that was localized to that spot rather than being all the way around that was missed on first look because I got a different angle on it.

    2. Moths*

      I don’t have much of a need for public wrangling at this point, but I do have to privately wrangle my own toddler (soon to be toddlers) at home all the time. Any advice for how to make it go a little smoother or what skills I can be working on at home with them so that they’re more open to wrangling in public when folks need to do that? Thanks!

      1. Pets Banshees*

        Hi, preschool teacher and director here! Best advice first – lower your standards and be pleasantly surprised when they hold out longer than expected/try the new food/follow the direction the first time/etc. I see parents expecting their children to be able to do things that they’re developmentally not able to and then finding themselves disappointed/frustrated/angry. That doesn’t mean you can’t have expectations! It just means they need to be developmentally appropriate. This will lower your stress and theirs.

        Get on their level when you need their attention if you can. Speaking softly will actually help them to quiet down and listen to you (assuming they’re not mid-meltdown or something). Let them know what’s coming up, including brief, age-appropriate context if it’s appropriate. If your day-to-day doesn’t change much and they like it you can make a visual schedule. Let them help you and give them “grown up” jobs. Children like to feel useful and wanted, and it’ll make them more inclined to help when they’re older. Minimize screen time and wait until they really need you before you step in – these things will strengthen their resilience and executive functioning. Give them lots of free play time and let them use real materials as long as it’s appropriate (such as the pot you use rather than the little plastic pot). Look for opportunities to teach and model mindfulness. They’re young, but they can start the habits now even if they don’t ‘get it.’ Do you what you say you will. If you say you will leave after a hug and a kiss, do it (if your mind can be changed about leaving, maybe it can be changed about coming back?). Take care of yourself. The better rested, fed, or mindful you are the more you will be able to take what they throw at you. Help them with their communication and model for them if necessary. For example – “You want to go to that part of the playground? Oh, we can do that! “Say, ‘playground please!'” Sometimes you need to provide the words, but have them try to at least repeat it so they get used to speaking for themselves (though this takes time).
        I realize this is a bit of a novella and all over the place, so I’m happy to answer specific questions if you have any.

      1. PBJ*

        For date-based reminders, you could use the Reminder feature on the row (bell icon on the far left of the row) and set a sepecific date or use a date column from the row (you can also choose who the reminder goes to). Or, you could set up a workflow in automation if you need more criteria for what triggers the notification. It really depends on your specific needs.

        For dashboards, keep it simple. Think about the data you really need to see to support decision making. Avoid pulling in large reports. Make the widgets interactive if it makes sense (after reading the widget are you likely to open a specific sheet or report? Link to it to make the flow of work more efficient).

    3. ferrina*

      I was looking at Smartsheet for project management and projecting workload/staffing needs.
      Is this something that you’ve done with Smartsheet? If so, any tips? Any pitfalls/common troubleshooting? (either with Smartsheet or with getting people to adopt it)

      1. PBJ*

        Smartsheet does have Resource functionality but I’ve never used it effectively. At the time (~2019) I was looking into using the Resource view, it couldn’t handle having Resources with various availability hours – which is what we were dealing with, working mostly with Freelancers. So I never managed to really project availability and workload very well.
        That said, a lot has changed since then, and if your team are full-time it’s worth exploring for your use case.
        In terms of adoptibility, I find Smartsheet doesn’t have a particularly intuitive UX and that can be off-putting. I pitch it as being like Excel. If you have people that are only viewing the data or imputting basic data (no formula building or report building) I keep their access very light (user type, lock columns, etc.). For those that need to be entrenched I put them through Smartsheet’s online training program/certification.

    4. Needful Things*

      Two columns, and the third column needs to reference info from both (Column names are Current Position, Officer Start Date, and Officer End Date, respectively). I know some programming and some Smartsheet, but I have trouble “translating” to SS…

      If [Current Position]@row = “President”,
      then Officer End Date = [Officer Start Date]@row + 2,
      else if [Current Position]@row = “Vice President”
      then Officer End Date = [Officer Start Date]@row +1,

      ETC… There are five possible entries in Current Position. Only four of them are Officers, so the fifth (Director) won’t have the Officer Start Date filled in at all, and therefore the Officer End Date should just be blank.

      I am using the text/number format in the Officer Start Date field because I only need to put in a four digit year. I tried using the Date format but it was more complicated than it needed to be.

      In advance, I love you and think you kick a$$.

      1. PBJ*

        Hi Needful Things,

        You can build a nested IF statement when you have multiple outcomes:

        =IF([Current Position]@row = “President”, [Officer Start Date]@row + 2, IF([Current Position]@row = “Vice President”, [Officer Start Date]@row + 1, ” “))

        You’ll need to add in the IF statements for the other officer positions to the formula above. This is the simplest solution but makes for a long formula.

        If any of the officers have the same position duration you can combine them with an OR like this:

        =IF(OR([Current Position]@row = “President”, [Current Position]@row = “Officer 3”), [Officer Start Date]@row + 2, IF([Current Position]@row = “Vice President”, [Officer Start Date]@row + 1, ” “))

        If the position durations might change in the future, you can create an additional column to put the duration data in, and reference that rather than just the number in the formula. In that case the value_if_true becomes something like [Officer Start Date]@row + [Officer Position Duration]@row.

        I hope this helps! Also, the Smartsheet Community is fantastic at answering formula questions and have helped me wrangle some complex functionality in the past.

  47. Patiently Genealogy*

    Genealogy nerd here… 20+ years searching records, even took the Boston University certificate program (and graduated). It’s my hopeful retirement plan.

    1. The Cosmic Avenger*

      Oooh, I’ve been trying to find my grandfather’s birth certificate from Poland, to see if I qualify for citizenship based on his citizenship. I found his US immigration papers, so I know where and when he was born, but when I tried asking the Polish archives about obtaining a copy (I did a careful job of translating it into Polish, using basic words and checking the back translation and possible translation choices in Google Translate), I have apparently reached the limit of automated translation. Any advice on hiring translators locally, or lawyers in the country in which you want to obtain documents?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        Ooh, this one is tough one. While I have ordered materials from the Polish archives, it’s been over 15 years and I know things have changed. There are some sites that offer transcription — JewishGen has a ton of Polish vital records and has transcribed many of them, and in some cases, even digitized them.

        I do think the Polish archives digitized some of their files as well, so it may be a matter of finding someone who can translate the documents. I wonder if you could try a local university, someone who teaches German or Polish or Russian (depending on where in Poland the records live) and they may be able to translate the information you do have and what you’re looking to find.

        I will note that while immigration records are generally accurate, they may not be specifically accurate. The town my great-grandfather listed was the big town that people knew. His family actually came from a village nearby. And when I searched records, that village is where I found the most information, which I wouldn’t have known from his naturalization record.

        1. FuzzFrogs*

          Chiming in to agree. My family came from the Bahamas, but there’s several records claiming they came from “West Indies.” and even most of the records that accurately put them as Bahamian say they were from the closest city.

        2. The Cosmic Avenger*

          Thank you so much! I had never seen JewishGen before, I was just working with my MIL’s Ancestry account and the Ellis Island records so far. I’m not a serious genealogist, but if my grandfather was legally a Polish citizen (before he left at about 10 years old), I might be able to get citizenship in an EU country!

    2. Ruby Soho*

      Genealogy is so fascinating! I have an educational background in genetics, and have always been interested in where my ancestors lived (mainly Eastern Europe and Ireland). One thing I found in my research was that I share a bday with my paternal grandfather’s brother, his mother, and her father’s brother. Four of the last 5 generations have someone with this bday, and it’s all pretty much direct lineage.

    3. Ostrich Herder*

      My question is more about how I can be useful to genealogy folks! I work with a lot of organizations that are digitizing their archives, which include historical data about members over the years, including profiles of their community work, and obituaries after they’ve died. Every time I digitize one of these archives, I think about some hypothetical person trying to put together a family tree and finding this wealth of information about their great-aunt or whoever. What kinds of key words should I be including in metadata to make this stuff easy to find? Are you primarily searching by birth date, death date, location of birth, location of death…?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE :)

        All vital information is great! Birth, Death (or obituary), Marriage — and locations of such things. Can I also ask for middle names or intials when available… Super helpful for common names. But also, parents, sibling, or spouse information is super helpful. Not sure what kind of information your digitizing, but military/draft/pension service dates can help. I’ve also used old phone book information and voter registrations to track where an ancestor may have moved. And of course my favorite — super local newspapers in the 1920s that used to report the goings on with all the neighbors. (But that in itself is a huge lift!)

    4. Irish sources?*

      Any favorite sources for late 18th century Ireland?

      I’m not sure where to start looking for my Irish emigrant ancestor. All I have is his name, birth city (Wexford), approximate birthdate (1780), and very approximate emigration date (before 1810). Unfortunately he had an EXTREMELY common name, and I don’t have the names of his parents or other relatives, so I fear it will be very tough to make a positive identification.

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        I’ve definitely used Irish online records before, which have been helpful. But the kicker here is the date. I believe the Irish Census records only go back to the mid 1800s, which would be my usual starting point. And emigration records probably don’t have much info beyond a name (sometimes only a first initial) and where from. I think this might be a two-part process.

        Part 1) would be to find out anything else about your emigrant ancestor. If they married in the States/Canada/last location, you might find a marriage record with parents. Or an obituary in the local paper might say something about family or a more detailed date of birth. If they had siblings, you can sometimes use them to identify more information. Military / pension records are also generally good resources for next of kin.

        In my experience: I once found my greatx2 grandfather’s mother’s name from his brother’s marriage certificate. And also confirmed an ancestor’s maiden name through Census records which listed her family living next door (though I didn’t know it until I was browsing marriage records)

        Broadening a search to other relatives or details can be very helpful in narrowing down information that can better pinpoint vital records in the old country.

        Also, I love newspapers.

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        My mother is working on her Irish foreign birth registry citizenship. She made some progress on her own in terms of names/locations/dates, and then found someone in Northern Ireland who was able to pull together a lot of the details – he worked for the parish in one of her grandparents’ hometowns. My impression was that this was a side-hustle thing for him – he had the access and knowledge that made this work easier. Apologies for not having more info, but if you have a bit of money to throw at it, try with the parishes and see if you can find someone to do a similar job.

    5. Ali + Nino*

      This may be a stupid question but…is there a difference between ancestry and geneaology?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        Hmmmm… I would say they’re probably two-sides of the same coin. Ancestry comes from ancestors. Where as genealogy involves the herditary genealogical makeup of a person, which comes from their… ancestors.

    6. Lila*

      Thoughts on next steps after you’ve mined ancestry and family search? I’ve found some info on my family but never been able to locate immigration records, which I would love to do. Family came over in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, I believe through NY, but nothing’s ever turned up on Ellis Island site, etc, but not sure if it’s due to typos/poor transcription or them actually coming through elsewhere. Thanks!

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        The Ellis Island site is great and has some soft searches that can help with identifying relatives. But, I’ve found sometimes, you need to broaden the search using different parameters. What I think a lot of folks don’t know is that Baltimore saw a pretty significant influx of people in the late 1800s, so your people may have landed there. And also, some people came in backwards, heading up to Canada and then emigrating down to the states.

        All of this is to say that the more you know about your relative, the better able you will be to search using different parameters … or even people. Searching for grandmother with her common name was difficult. Searching for her sister, who came over with her and had a much less common first name, easier!

        Also naturalization records in the 1900s had lots of information that can help narrow down birthplaces, dates of arrival and where they arrived, birth dates, even family members. And Census Records indicate whether or not a immigrant was naturalized, in the process of naturalization, or not at all. So you can sometimes figure out benchmarks for dates when searching for records.

    7. Totally Hypothetical*

      Oh! Any idea why I can’t find the ship manifest for the ship my grandma came to the US on? She boarded in Bremen on a refugee visa in 1952. I can find other relatives from the same period but the ship my grandma should have come on (there’s a picture of her in front of it in the harbor in NY) was a US military ship that had been doing refugee runs but in 1952 should have been in Korea from what I can find. Any idea of where I should look?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        Not sure if your information is anecdotal or whether you have the manifest from Bremen. (I think that sometimes lives on Ancestry). It’s possible that since it was a military ship that the manifest isn’t held in a standard repository, i.e. Ellis Island or etc. But could be held by the US military branch that managed the ship. If you know the name of the ship, it might be worthwhile to checkout the website Fold3. They have a bunch of military records.

        If the information is anecdotal, I would recommend starting with what you know and finding records that support that. Then review what you’ve found to identify clues that clarify details that can help identify other records that can confirm when she arrived in the states and how she got there.

        1. Totally Hypothetical*

          I have (or at least have seen) her refugee paperwork f that lists her port of departure of Bremen. I fell down an ancestry rabbit hole about a decade ago and discovered 3/4 of my family lines have been in the US SINCE RHE 1850s at the latest and pre-American revolution at the earliest. My grandmas line remains more mysterious, I’m assuming due to records destroyed in the war. As a history nerd, I would like to have the time and resources to dig deeper!

    8. anon in uk*

      My family is British and very shy/skittish about DNA, so no one’s on Ancestry or 23andMe or the like. But we’re very abstractly hoping to find out more about a pair of mystery ancestors on one side from a part of the country where exactly none of us live now (say, the Lake District). I alone am in a good position to get an investigation going at the moment and would love to do this for my family. How would you recommend getting started? We have a few documents but no birth certificates. I’ve been considering a trip out to the Lake District anyway – would it make sense to try and find a genealogy researcher based there? Or a local records office? Or, since I live closer to London than the Lake District, would it be easier for me to just go to the British Library and ask for databases? Many thanks!

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        One of the key things I learned when taking courses is to fully outline what your question is. This will help determine what it is that you want to find and how best to go about it. If your question is that you want to find out where your great uncle died after he abandoned your aunt with her triplets, than the key would be to pull together the vetted and documented information you have to start a search for other records based on the information. If what you have is limited, then it might be helpful to get an expert to build up a profile of the mystery relative, which you can then use to research records in the Lake District. But I wouldn’t start with Lake District records until you have a good number of sources that take you in that direction. Because even while that location might be accurate, the information you would get could be more valuable and more informative if you have the background to support it.

        This could as easy as using the Ancestry database at your local library (if you don’t want to pay for a subscription) or seeing what records are available for free.

        Also let me know if I’ve explained this terribly!

    9. Betty*

      My mom’s family is from southern France. A number of the place names that we have recorded as family history (e.g., where my grandfather’s grandfather said he was from) don’t seem to exist, and a French friend suggested that they may be the Occitan place names. Any suggestions for how to find a map of France in the 19th century in Occitan?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        I’ve done research in 1800s France, but this is a new one for me! I know that there are map historians, so you may try a university that has a collection of Occitan maps or an Occitan language expert?

    10. DiggingDeep*

      Hi, thanks for posting! I’m trying to track down my paternal 2x grandparents who would have lived in Germany/Lithuanian/Soviet Union (perhaps Memel). I’m on 23andme, ancestry, myheritage and gedmatch but am not having much luck finding anyone closer than a 4th cousin DNA match. DMyheritage seemed to have the better non-US records but I’m still not finding much. I just now stumbled across this site https://www.germansfromlithuania.org/ Are there any other resources you recommend for that region for records from the mid-late 1800’s? Thank you.

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        A 4th cousin would be a descendant of your 3x grandparents…. so it may be worth investigating how you’re connected. If you’ve done your tree and they have done theirs, it’s sometimes just a matter of comparing names to figure out what branch they’re on.

        Also one of the difficulties with Eastern Europe and Russia is that the boundaries kept changing, so vital records could live almost anywhere. But, the key here I think is nailing down where your 2xGG may be from. Otherwise you would have to search an extensive swath of records in multiple languages.

        So my advise is two-fold. One, trace back as far as you can go on that branch. Get all the names you can. Siblings, cousins, maiden names, etc. Then compare with the fourth cousins on your lists and see if anything lines up.

        1. DiggingDeep*

          Thank you. I haven’t been able to figure out how the cousins are connected. My Dad was an only child. He and his parents immigrated after the war. I know my paternal grandfather’s name and heard he had at least one sibling, I possibly have my great grandfather’s (common) name which is based on a single document I found on Ancestry where my grandfather wrote the names of his parents on a form. I had hoped the Deutsche aus Litauensite website might be useful. Things I remember hearing definitely seemed to indicate that that branch of the family were part of that group, but it doesn’t look like there’s any info there that matches up. Hopefully either a new DNA match or new records will eventually show up that might provide a clue. Thank you again for your time!

    11. Honor Harrington*

      The news stories about genetic geneology as a tool for crime research is fascinating, but the stories always talk about it being really difficult. So why is it really difficult? It seems like the geneology should be like a big spreadsheet and you just have to filter to find the right person. Is it that we don’t have enough data to filter on?

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        Genetic genealogy isn’t my strong suit, but I can say that one of the reasons I find it challenging is that we’re dealing with probabilities and percentages. It’s a science to be sure, but it isn’t an exact science. Sharing a percentage of your DNA with another person, could mean you’re cousins, half-siblings, niece and great-uncle. And what about 3rd cousins who married each other? How and when should someone account for that? It requires fine-tuning all the information, evaluating the data — both genetic and paper trail and providing an extremely educated guess that isn’t typically proven until more testing is done.

    12. Brownie*

      Do you know of any program for the US like FreeReg is for the UK? For one branch of my family Ancestry is incredibly incorrect, but I need to find primary documents beyond “There’s at least 3 different Robert *spelling variation last name* in that area of the county in 1870 based on wills” that folks will accept as primary document proof so they stop lumping all three under the same person. Parish or church records of marriage, birth, and death would be perfect, but Ancestry doesn’t have them for that area.

      Also general “I understand why the name was passed down, it’s a family name, but for the love of puppies please put something on those names so the tree doesn’t repeat the same first, middle, and last name combo for the eldest boy for 4+ generations” solidarity. That’s one of the most frustrating things I’ve found when trying to do genealogy work, especially when both (or more!) brothers decide to name their eldest sons that way.

    13. No? Yes? Maybe.*

      How do I go about finding a genealogy professional to help me answer my questions? At this point, I’ve probably paid Ancestry . com enough money in a subscription I haven’t been using to have hired someone else, but I’m not sure how to do that.

      1. Genealogy nerd*

        the Board for Certified Genealogists has a database you can search to find an accredited genealogist. It’s an extensive process that requires hours and hours of documentation (one reason I’m not accredited, I still work full-time!) Or if you search Facebook for “Patiently Genealogy” — you’ll find my webpage and we can talk about what your questions are and whether I might be able to help.

  48. oeditrix*

    I’m an agented, traditionally published author and love answering questions about writing, querying, and the publication process. (I don’t know anything at all about self-publishing, so someone else will have to be the expert on that!)

    1. Jane Bingley*

      What advice would you give to someone trying to dive into the writing process? What’s a reasonable balance of writing work vs editing work vs social media work (which I hear is increasingly essential) vs searching for an agent/publisher work? Basically, if I’m committing a specific chunk of time to working toward getting published, how I do make myself useful and not leave any big gaps that will haunt me later?

      1. oeditrix*

        The most important part is the writing. It comes first. With veeeeery few exceptions, if you write fiction, you can’t query an agent without a full, polished manuscript in hand. (Nonfiction is different, it works by proposal, but you’ll still need to do the significant writing first.) In the end, you’ll spend a lot of time editing and revising, but trying to do that before you’ve got a full draft in hand can be self-defeating.

        Unless you are naturally gifted at social media, love it, and would be spending time doing it anyway, I do not recommend focusing on that. Your following has to be huge and rabid to make a big impact on sales. Socials can be valuable for networking with authors and industry voices–but even that can backfire! You only see people’s wins on socials, so it’s easy to get discouraged or drawn into heated debates when you really should be finishing that draft. ;)

        If you want to get an early start on learning about agents, publishers, etc., I always recommend letting it happen passively, in the background, rather than spending work time on it. Follow social media accounts about publishing, listen to the Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast, browse QueryTracker. net if you’re stuck in your writing some day. But if you’re a first-time author, try not to let it get into your head! It’s all about the writing, so I recommend you connect with the thing that makes you write, and focus there. I hope that helps!

      2. oeditrix*

        Full response awaits mod, but tl;dr:
        1) writing first, always;
        2) edit when you’ve got something to edit, preferably a completed draft;
        3) learn about agents & publishers passively, via podcasts, etc.;
        4) socials suck up writing time and won’t get you a deal unless you spend all your time there (& probably not then). good for networking, but tread carefully.

    2. Zombeyonce*

      Do you know how much agents and publishers care about social media presence for new fiction writers? I’ve heard really conflicting info on how much follower count matters for getting repped and published.

      I’m on a couple of platforms but with Twitter going up in flames, there’s just not the community there once was so I rarely post (though I have a couple thousand followers). I don’t know how much effort I should put in on that front.

      1. oeditrix*

        Yeah, I wouldn’t sink time and resources into it. At one point I had a couple thousand followers on Twitter, and while it connected me to potential blurbers and reviewers, it probably did very little in terms of sales. Unless you are huge, beloved, and known for the specific type of content you want to publish, it’s not a big sales driver according to current info. (That said, publishers will always be chasing that new hot platform. They all want a piece of BookTok, but just like Twitter, they can’t figure out how to monetize it directly. Bookfluencers sell more than authors themselves, but you can spend a lot of time trying to get their attention and get nowhere. Plus, by the time you’re publishing, there will be a new Next Big Thing, so why worry about it? TikTok could be the next Twitter, by then.)

    3. Anon for this*

      My significant other is a published nonfiction academic author, who has only ever worked directly with the publishers. One book, several encyclopedia articles, academic journals, etc. They would like to make the leap to more popular history nonfiction writing (a la David McCullough, Erik Larsen, etc.) Any advice on attempting that?

      1. oeditrix*

        Ooh, I love this question! I am a former academic myself, and I still remember when Pulitzer-winner Debby Applegate visited our workshop to talk about turning her dissertation work at Yale into a mainstream biography. (My classmates were giving her side-eye and I was like TELL ME MORE. Probably a red flag for my academic career.)

        Her biggest advice for that transition was that the writing is going to have to change way, way, way, way more than you think it will. It took her seven years to turn her academic work into acceptably commercial prose–and that was for a biography, not general-interest history. He may benefit from studying story structure–screenwriting books are a great place to go for this!–and joining a writing group that includes
        writers of fiction and/or commercial nonfiction. Reading work aloud to a writing group is a terrific way of seeing firsthand whether it’s entertaining or yawn-inducing. Either way, he’ll want to search relentless for a voice that does not read as academic. Freelancing for non-academic publications (in any subject) is also a good idea, as it will help him develop that sense of writing for an audience.

        When I was a few years out of grad school, I published a book that, while technically with an academic press, was aimed at a mainstream niche audience (it’s a book about a Tori Amos album). I worked hard to tone down the academic language, but I cringe now at some of the chapters! That’s all to say, it’s a work in progress and it will probably take some time. Good luck to him, and thank you for the question!

    4. Minimal Pear*

      Do you happen to have any advice for transitioning from short stories to novels? More in terms of publishing than writing, although I’ll probably struggle with both when the time comes. What will some big differences be? Is it still possible these days to have your first book be a collection of your previously published short stories?
      I’m a genre writer if that’s relevant.

      1. oeditrix*

        Love this question too!

        In genre fiction (well, mostly SF/F/horror), I believe it’s possible to come out of the gate with a short-story collection–particularly with a small press, of which there are so many good ones. You’re probably already submitting stories to mags and anthologies, but if not that seems like a necessary first step. In my understanding it is very rare for lit-fic writers to debut with a collection, unless they are hot stuff fresh out of Iowa or something.

        But, I confess, I’m biased toward novels so I’m basically always cheering for everyone to write one! I even teach a class on it. My big-picture advice is: learn to plot, please!! You can be an absolutely fantastic short story writer and produce a nigh-unreadable novel, if you do not stretch your skills to include basic 3-act structure. (I had to read a lot of these when I was a book reviewer, and I regularly through them at the wall.) Plot is truly a gift to your readers, a roadmap through 300 pages of prose that is deeply rewarding for both reader and writer. It gives your story focus and meaning and little dopamine boosts. Also….agents and editors love it. ;)

        For basic frontline plotting skills, I always recommend starting with screenwriting-based books (Save the Cat! and Save the Cat! Writes a Novel), Lisa Cron’s Wired for Story, and Story Genius. Good luck!

      2. oeditrix*

        Realizing that you’ve already published some short stories–congrats! Yeah, to my knowledge this isn’t a problem for publishers of collections, as long as they can get the rights. Novels are a different story, those do not generally get repubbed once they’re out there (though there are exceptions). I hope it’s okay that I focused on writing when it comes to novels–but truly, it’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks to getting published with a first novel.

        1. Minimal Pear*

          Thank you! I think I have decent novel-writing skills, since I have half a dozen terrible old novels clogging up my hard drive–but my writing is at the point where I know why they’re terrible and how to fix that in the future. :)
          Your points on what to look out for when switching to novels are super useful! And that’s good to know about collections–it’s how some authors I love got started, but I feel like I don’t see it happening as much these days.
          Thank you!

          1. oeditrix*

            You sound like you know the genre space far better than I do! And honestly a hard drive full of old bad novels is such a great sign that you can finish something, and you’ll keep trying. Kudos.

            There’s a great free article (and cheap self-pubbed expansion) called 2K to 10K by Rachel Aarons–it’s a great quick-and-dirty guide for authors looking to level up their skills. You might really connect with it!

    5. ferrina*

      For first-time writers, any pitfalls to avoid when we’re trying to write our first manuscript?

      1. oeditrix*

        Some pitfalls to avoid:

        – head-hopping (changing character POV in the same section or chapter)
        – exposition dumping (looooong chunks of unbroken text about the history, context, setting, or backstory, without actually showing a scene unfold in real time)
        – obsessively editing as you go, especially if you’re using it to avoid writing forward
        – chasing the market (it takes a long time to write something publishable and by that time you don’t know what’ll be trending, so just write what you love and figure it out later)
        – comparing yourself to published writers (it’s like comparing a baby potato plant to a bag of potato chips, one has been through the process and the other hasn’t)
        – believing what you read on social media about how people’s careers are going
        – believing what writers say about their writing routines. I promise they do not write every day, lol
        – making your loved ones read and reread your draft. get a writing group or partner!!! swapping work with other writers is more useful and fair.
        – beating yourself up for not writing fast enough, often enough, perfect enough, etc. etc. It’s a long process and there will be ebbs and flows. Life tends to happen right when you’re trying to finish something. Be gentle with yourself. Take breaks. If you start hating it, you’ll never finish. Make it play time and you’ll come back to it again and again, even after long breaks.
        – using too many song lyrics (those rights are expensive!!! use public domain poetry)
        – giving characters similar names (your readers will hate you)
        – using weird fonts, much like a resume ;)

        Okay, that’s all I’ve got offhand. Happy writing!

    6. anon_sighing*

      I don’t have any interest in publishing my own work, mainly because I cannot write an ending to save my life (probably should be asking advice on THIS, lol), but I do enjoy writing as a hobby.

      I have always been curious on how people find an agent that isn’t just a fleecer selling dreams (ok, this is my naturally suspicious nature coming out!)

      1. oeditrix*

        The answer is to do your research! Look up both the agency and the agent, look up their clients, look at their clients’ publishers to make sure they’re legitimate publishers not vanity presses. The website QueryTracker is a great place to start researching agents. Also, look up the authors you enjoy and find their agents; then go to the agency website and look up the newer agents at that agency. After a while you can spot what looks authentic.

        Beware of unaffiliated agents, agents outside New York (there are exceptions), and agents that promise the moon and sky. Real agents shouldn’t ask for “exclusives,” or imply that submitting only to them will give you an edge; they should never ever charge (they get paid when and ONLY when your work sells); and they should be willing to refer you to other clients of theirs, preferably published at legit houses, so you can ask questions before you decide whether to sign. It’s unfortunately very competitive to sign with an agent, which means if someone’s a bit too eager or easy to catch, you should do a little extra research on them.

        A good rule of thumb when searching for an agent–and this will help with rejections, too–an agent is looking for work that THEY know how to sell, with the connections THEY already have in the publishing world. They don’t get paid unless they sell you to a publishing house. That means they need to be personally passionate about the work, know lots of editors who are into that sort of thing, have a clear idea how to market it, etc. “Legit” is a necessary quality, but not sufficient. You want one who’s a perfect fit for you, whose tastes align with yours, otherwise neither of you will make any money.

    7. anon for this*

      My partner has had an unusual trajectory but somehow ended up with an agent and a contract for a YA genre novel with a publisher who suggested she “come up with a social media plan.” She’s organically built up a decent following on some niche socials, but has absolutely no clue how to leverage it. Is there any point in chasing Booktok etc.?
      (Personally, I think the publisher’s marketing department should be coming up with the plan. They’re an imprint of one of the big ones, so it feels a little silly that she’s getting basically zero guidance, but I guess that’s just how they operate!)

      1. oeditrix*

        Congratulations to your partner! But ooof, the marketing thing is so hard. Even the big publishers have totally gutted their publicity and marketing departments (along with everything else) and it seems like only the biggest titles get support. Can she loop in her agent to put some pressure on them for a marketing plan–or at least to ask the publisher what exactly they mean by a “social media plan”? That’s what agents are for, though it doesn’t always help that much.

        It’s great news that she has followers. Maybe she wants to use those platforms to run a few ARC giveaways, do an AMA, put together Zoom conversations with other authors? Preview an excerpt somewhere? Honestly, outside of just announcing the pub date and other news on socials, I’m pretty out of my depth on this stuff. The authors I know who’ve blown up on TikTok have literally no idea how it happened. My only real piece of wisdom is that nobody really knows how it works, including the marketing people at the big publishers, so when they say “make a social media plan” they probably don’t have any idea what that means, either. I would suggest she pick a few things she feels comfortable with to concentrate on, and try not to drown in the feeling that she should always be pushing harder or promoting more. After a certain point there’s only so much one person can do, and it’s just a crap shoot what works and doesn’t. I wish her the best of luck during the pre-pub roller coaster! Tell her to take care of herself! And give her treats and a massage if you can, it can be a stressful time. :)

    8. Katara*

      Do you have any tips for someone looking to publish a non-fiction book? I have heard that having a following is essential. I’m not into social media and was thinking of doing a podcast on the subject to gain some sort of following and see if anyone is even interested in the subject! Do you have any advice?

      1. oeditrix*

        For nonfiction, I think this might be a really good idea! For nonfiction you need a proposal, and a following would prove that there are people interested in your subject.

        I know nothing at all about podcast production (another thread, maybe?)–I imagine it’s lots of work, but it seems really fun. And maybe a good way to get your research together? Good luck!

  49. DisneyChannelThis*

    Data scientist here, AMA.

    Also great at excel (and a little sad to have moved away from using it) if you need any help making excel do what you want.

    1. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      I’ve always been fascinated by data science and really miss the amount I did in the labs – I’m curious to find out if that’s something that happens outside of the science/research fields? Do you do it for a regular corporation or do you have to stay within the research sector?

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        I’m academia adjacent, I work for a research center that’s partially funded through a university. I have friends doing the same work in a pure industry setting, they have less free range over what they do but they’re paid a lot more!

      2. Sandi*

        There might be subtle differences, but my understanding is that the corporate term is Business Analytics.

        1. SwimmingInASeaofVPs*

          Data scientist is a pretty common title in the purely corporate/industry world as well. The department I’m in is about 75 data scientists at the moment.

    2. AFac*

      Is it possible to search multiple Excel sheets at the same time? I feel like it should be possible and I should know how but I do not.

      2. Ferret*

        you can try searching from file explorer (or other storage systemas applicable) if all of the relevant sheets/files are in the same folder but that isn’t super effective

    3. chili oil*

      How do you differentiate Data Science from Machine Learning? What were the skills necessary to get into the data science you do?

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        Machine Learning is training a computer to be able to recognize and process data and create a prediction. A data scientist is a job that might use machine learning for a specific application. Data science usually involves interpretation of results, I have to be able to understand the questions the data is hoping to answer, in order to setup what data we want to generate for an experiment as well as decide how to process it after, what statistics can I generate to determine if those results are meaningful, how can I turn these numbers into a visual representation that can be published, etc. Machine learning is more just algorithms and predictions.

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        I use a lot of R and R Shiny (application version of R). Python is still vital for large process sets. I personally use a ton of linux computers/servers and Bash is essential for navigating there as well.

        1. ArtsNerd*

          Rad, thanks! I was thinking about moving into some kind of data work for my next pivot. I actually have some superficial familiarity with R but was reading that Python would be a better language to start with. So was just curious!

    5. KateM*

      Ooh! I recently concluded that I’d like to become a sata scientist!

      Would a data engineer bootcamp help at all or is it too wildly different thing?
      Anything I could start trying out while waiting for registration for new school year to beging?

      Also, I would at the same time like to stay a teacher as well. Is being a data scientist something that you could do half-time, or do I have to choose one or another?

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        You would do well in higher education! Teaching others is inevitable in academia haha. I have PhD students train under me frequently, and one promotion track I could pursue is to be a faculty and then teach formally as well. We frequently get requests for lower level training as well from organizations like Girls Who Code and similar. We also get a lot of undergrads working on specific projects, the ones who want to learn code often shadow me for a month and learn a couple small pipelines. Also just numerous times, faculty want to know how to handle their own data, and you end up training them on very specific tasks.

        My background is in engineering, I think it makes me a better scientist. A lot of engineers crossover, especially in like bioinformatics and other large scale process focuses. I think engineers training lends well to handling large volumes of information and breaking down what you need and how to get that out of large dataset. At the end of the day, all data is input/output and an engineering mindset fits that.

        In terms of what to learn before the school year, start teaching yourself to code, if you don’t have a solid language already! Languages will always change (I learned Maple in school, never used it professionally). Software has a shelf life of 2 years, so by the time you graduate you’ll already be using something different twice. The trick is to master learning how to learn new software and code. Chat GPT can be a great tool for getting example code to look at, stack overflow as well. Like verbal languages, once you master one language the others come quicker too. Get comfortable with opening a terminal, accessing tar files (most software downloads as .tar.gz usually), get a github account, try downloading a tool from there and installing it (readme files), start learning command line navigation (bash usually).

        https://www.w3schools.com/python/default.asp has a great set of tutorials for a lot of languages, if you don’t have a terminal you can use their webpage one.

        1. KateM*

          Thanks! I have done a bit of coding, also professionally, but I could use to learn the current popular languages for sure. I was in an IT-job for 1.5 years until I was laid off last fall, I got to sniff a bit at Python and databases and things like that, too.

          The student I teach right now are elementary and middle school – I do like the kiddos and teaching them! I’d like to keep this particular job but it is never going to be full-time, and also I feel like I want to balance the job where I run around in a classroom and talk nineteen to dozen about problems that I can solve in five seconds flat with something where I sit in a corner and engage my brain with something more challenging problem-wise.

          1. DisneyChannelThis*

            Ah! I see. I think you might have a harder time finding part time data scientist job to match with a part time elementary job. Most the jobs I know are full time, and have the issue of too much data and data backlogs waiting to be cleared which means they probably won’t post a part time job listing. There are a lot of coding volunteer opportunities with kids tho, you could perhaps balance out that way, I know a guy who does my same job but has a fixed schedule so he teaches robotics to 1st graders afterschool once a week and competitions on weekends. Or be full time but with flexible schedule (ie make up hours on weekends) so you can work teaching hours at your school job.

    6. beetlecat*

      I am interested in upping my data analysis skill set- I am pretty good at basic excel but not at advanced formulas and I have no coding experience. I’m looking into learning R to automate a lot of the manual analysis I do in Excel. What training(s) would you recommend? I tend to do better in settings with instructors and curricula rather than self-guided tutorials, and have been looking into eCornells data science essentials certificate program. Are those kinds of programs worth it/attractive to employers in your opinion? Also, what do you use Python for vs. R? I have big survey datasets so Id primarily be using coding to streamline analysis on that kind of data. Thank you!

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        Look into ggplot2, it’s a graph package in R that has a lot of really nice tutorials online. That was the package that made me finally let go of excel. I really do like the chart and plots in R better. I tried to do a histogram in excel for old times sake the other day and got so mad at the lack of functionality that I did end up booting up the computer with R and using ggplot2.

        A lot of the big name schools now have some sort of free online courses you can audit. If you are self taught in coding, as an employer we want some evidence of it, do you have a github with code we can see, can you answer questions quickly about coding, we might even do a coding test. If it’s an accredited program (not a linkedin special) a certificate holds some weight. Being able to solo learn new coding skills is a plus, so we don’t automatically filter out people without a formal background, sometimes we favor it! w3 is one of my favorite tutorials, I’ve linked it in a comment above already, you can test code inside the webpage with it.

        I use R primarily for app development, things that an end user will run. R also beats python extremely for visualization (data plotting). R handles importing large datasets a lot easier than Python pandas for my type of data, I use gRanges objects a lot. Python is better for looping over stuff, I can launch a python script from my terminal easily. Python is often used when I am running software other people have written as well. Scripts that I am writing to share with others (handing off to scientists to run on their own) I tend to use R, they have access to Rstudio and can run them more easily than they can install python. That just varies by institution.

        One more thing, is cloud services. Increasingly employers are looking for people with experience with Google Cloud or AWS from Amazon. Learning a bit of those gives you a leg up. If not those, they’ll still be using HPC (servers).

        1. beetlecat*

          thank you so much for such a thorough reply! I will definitely check out the resources you mentioned. A lot of folks I interact with seem to use R/RShiny quite a bit so that’s what I was gravitating towards learning, but since there are so many different languages/applications of “coding” I wanted to make sure I was on the right track!

      2. Ferret*

        Not a data scientist but I have worked a lot with big datasets and automating consolidation and analysis of results – one thing that might be worth trying out is if you can get up to speed on Power Query – it is an option within excel and is much closer to coding but there is a lot of support and guidance and buttons. It’s not exactly like any coding i have tried (although i only have basic SQL experience) but you do run into the same types of problems trying to get it to work so I find it helpful to get into the right mindset.
        I know you said self guided is less useful but this is an area where there is a fair amount on youtube and elsewhere which works pretty well for me

    7. Student*

      Any books, web sites, videos, or training resources you would recommend for data science?

      I’m a BS in Mathematics and a PhD in physics, but I’m about 40 – “data science” as a field didn’t exist when I was in college and seems to have coalesced from a mishmash of stuff I’m familiar with and stuff I’m not familiar with. Mild working knowledge of ML already, but at an amateur & project manager level, not at a developer level. I’d love to pivot out of what I currently do into more data analysis and hard science stuff that I love, but I need to get current on the modern tools and methods to do so.

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        So there’s two sides to data scientists, coding and understanding what the data *means*. You might be weaker on the coding side but stronger on the understanding side. Lean into that. A good department has people that are skewed both ways. A lot of times i find its easier to teach/learn coding skills than it is to learn the meaning. So look for data scientists in physics/math in your fields, that’ll give you the leg up on the background understanding and get you past an hurdles from low experience coding.

        Dave Tang has a great blog. https://davetang.org/muse/ and he’s been posting over a decade now. If you want to just read and see some code casually what people do with it.

        w3schools is my favorite set of online tutorials, I think I’ve linked them in KateM reply. They’ve a whole host of languages. I would recommend picking a core language to focus on probably either Python or C+ (java less favored these days). Then a secondary language probably one of SQL for databases, R or Matlab for visualizations, Bash for processing large files you cant open, to just know a couple things in to show that you are learning lots and open to learning more. Get familiar with conditional (if then), loops (for i in ), and data frames in whatever two languages you pick.

    8. vibecheckneeded*

      A bit of context- I am about to graduate with a degree in the social sciences and a minor in data analysis. I have a job lined up doing survey design and analysis, but I’m long-term interested in becoming a data scientist. What are some specific skills (I know Python, R, and SQL) that would be valuable for me to learn when looking to switch from being a data analyst to a data scientist? Would you recommend grad school?

      1. DisneyChannelThis*

        That’s a really good set to have! Make sure you name all those on your resume, keywords matter.

        Grad school depends on your long term career goals. It’s a painful process. If you want control over creating your own projects and steering them you likely need a grad school degree. If you are content processing data, creating and managing pipelines etc for someone else’s project then you are fine with a bachelors. Masters degree jobs you can get those jobs with a few more years experience as a bachelor degree only usually. PhD degree you might actually need to get, there’s a requirement for many job titles that need it. It’s better to do both together, PhD you can drop out and get your masters instead (“mastering out”). If you already have masters when entering PhD program there’s not a consolation prize then if it doesn’t work out.

  50. Football fan*

    I’m a lawyer and can answer questions about govt benefits such as SNAP and Medicaid. I’m looking for ideas for lawyers (me) to consult. Travel and public speaking are goals. I have consulted on property disputes, including shipwrecks, lost/abandoned property, and international properties. Would love ideas!

    1. Cheezmouser*

      My dad has chronic medical conditions that will eventually require more care. His social security income puts him above the poverty threshold so he doesn’t qualify for many benefits. He has no other savings or income besides SS. However, both in home and nursing home care are really expensive. Are there any other benefits that can help my dad or me afford care?

      1. Meg*

        I’m jumping in here because I work in elder care. Programs can differ depending on what state your father lives in. However a good first step is to contact your local Area Agency on Aging. They should have information and referral services and can likely point you in a good direction.

        If you tell me which state you are in, I can do some quick googling.

      2. Bumblebee*

        Not sure if this is the case for your family, but lots of former servicemembers don’t know about this — if your dad was a Veteran and served during a wartime period, there is a welfare-like program for low-income Veterans that can pay out monthly benefits if they have high medical expenses (like in-home care, assisted living, or nursing home). It can also pay surviving spouses of deceased Veterans. The programs are called Veterans Pension and Survivors Pension. The maximum benefit for a Veteran (if their medical expenses completely zero out their income) is around $2300 per month and for surviving spouses it’s around $1300 per month.

    2. Geeyourhairsmellsterrific*

      I have a similar question to Cheezmouser. My mother has income from Social Security and teaching pensions. Are those both included in the income limit for Medicaid?
      Thank you.

    3. pants are an illusion and so is death*

      I work with primarily undocumented and mixed-status families, and often have to assist clients with applying for Emergency Medical Assistance (a type of Medicaid in my state that will retroactively cover ER bills for undocumented folks). For mixed-status families, I also assist with SNAP applications for the family members who qualify.

      I occasionally run into situations where the client has been advised by their immigration lawyers to not apply for EMA or get their children on SNAP due to the public charge rule. Everything I can find from government sources indicates that EMA and SNAP have not been considered for public charge determinations since the Biden administration took office. Is there something I’m missing that would still lead an attorney to recommend not applying?

      Hospitals generally require an EMA application before they will move forward with financial assistance/charity care, so the client basically has to choose between going against their attorney’s advice or being on the hook for thousands of dollars in medical expenses. I’m just hoping to understand exactly where that conflict lies. Any information would be helpful!

      1. QED*

        If I’m remembering correctly, the Trump administration in 2019 included Medicaid, housing assistance, and SNAP (not sure about EMA) in a new public charge rule. The administration was sued by a number of localities, states and I think other parties, and the rule was still in litigation when Biden took office (the lower court said the rule was invalid, the Trump admin appealed). The Biden administration never defended the Trump rule in court or followed it and changed the rule back to not include Medicaid, housing assistance, and SNAP. But the Trump admin changing the rule showed that this was the sort of thing that could change based on who was in the White House and since it never made it to the US Supreme Court, the lawyers you’re talking to are probably concerned that if there’s a second Trump administration in the near future, they could revive the 2019 rule early in the administration, litigate it up to the Supreme Court, and get it upheld, given the makeup of the court. If that happens, I’m assuming a record of the EMA would be in the client’s file, and could be used to deny their application under a future public charge rule. So my best guess is that the immigration attorneys are trying to minimize future risk. But I’m not an immigration lawyer, so it’s just a guess. Hope this helps!

      2. QED*

        The extremely short answer is that these lawyers are likely being extremely risk-averse (my best guess). The longer answer is that in 2019 the Trump administration changed the public charge rule to include SNAP, Medicaid, and housing assistance (not sure about EMA) in the consideration for public charge determinations. Many lawsuits from states, localities, and others ensued, and at least one lower court found the rule invalid. When Biden took office, most of the legal challenges were still pending and the Biden administration decided not to defend the 2019 Trump rule in court, decided not to enforce it, and ultimately changed it so that SNAP, Medicaid, and housing assistance didn’t count. So you’re right that the Biden administration has never considered SNAP and EMA in public charge determinations. However, a lower court was the only one to ever make a ruling on the 2019 rule, which meant that decision didn’t and doesn’t bind any other court and the U.S. Supreme Court never weighed in. It’s reasonably likely that if there was a second Trump administration, they would change back to the 2019 rule (or make a new one include even more forms of assistance), and if they did it early enough in the administration, litigate it all the way to the Supreme Court, where the chances of the administration winning are probably not terrible given the makeup of the court. And the rule might go into effect on the way to the Supreme Court because the current Supreme Court disfavors nationwide injunctions in many cases. I get that this is a lot of ifs and uncertainty! And you’re probably thinking that your clients need assistance now, and being charged for thousands of dollars they don’t have is worse than the potential nebulous future effects of some rule that may never happen. But your clients’ immigration lawyers have to think about this stuff, and my guess (very much a guess, this is not my area of expertise and these aren’t my clients) is that because the immigration process takes so long, if EMA and SNAP are part of the public charge determination in the future, it could torpedo their current clients’ immigration cases at that point. So better not to apply for it and have a better shot at citizenship later. I hope that long explanation was helpful!

    4. ArtsNerd*

      If you’re looking for a public speaking idea, I can imagine there is absolutely a market for navigating benefit options if you’re newly disabled (e.g. long covid.) SSI/SSDI of course, but also healthcare, SNAP, housing assistance, etc.

  51. Wonky Policy Wonk*

    Here’s a weirdly specific one – I can give advice to recent law graduates/practicing lawyers who are looking to work outside of the legal field and don’t know what other careers value applicants with a law degree.

    Disclaimer – My lived experience in this area is specific to Canada and Australia and have second hand info from friends in the UK who took similar career paths, but I imagine it would apply pretty similarly to the US job market.

    1. I edit everything*

      Ooh. I have a friend who could maybe use your advice. He finished law school a year ago and hasn’t taken the bar exam yet (but is preparing to, I gather), and is job hunting. I think he’s looking in the direction of copyright law, particularly for digital media/music, and he also has an MLS (library science). You’d think with that combo, it wouldn’t be too hard, but he doesn’t want to work in academia. Any thoughts?

      1. Wonky Policy Wonk*

        Ah, this is crazy because I have a co-worker with the EXACT same educational background! I thought it was a very random transition to go from an MLS to a law degree but I guess it’s not that rare after all.

        If he’s looking for something related to copyright but doesn’t want to practice in the field or transition to academia, I would recommend looking into policy work with government (my current profession). Applicants with legal backgrounds are really competitive in policy roles, especially in areas that deal with a lot of legislation which copyright would definitely fall under. I’m not totally familiar with America’s political landscape, but I imagine that either at a State or Federal level there’s a department that deals with media/music regulation (maybe a Culture department, or could even fall under general Justice department purview). Working in policy is amazing for a lot of reasons – better hours than legal practice, lots of room for career growth, not having to interacting with clients, and you get to influence the laws/regulations for an area you’re passionate in.

    2. NoIWontFixYourComputer*

      Ok, here’s an equally weird response.

      I am a software developer with 40 years experience. I recently completed an MLS (Masters of Science in Legal Studies), with an emphasis in Cybersecurity and Data Privacy.

      This was not a bar track degree.

      What suggestions do you have?

  52. Ferret*

    I’m pretty good with excel, including pivots and powerquery. I have been working as a consultant for a while now so experience with a few different industries but I wouldn’t really claim expertise across them all

      1. Ferret*

        Excel is primarily a tool for sorting and analysing data – that being said it is possible to use some of the formatting tools to make it look clean and presentable.

        Is there a reason you can’t just copy and paste whatever table or data you are looking at into word? I’m not 100% clear on what kind of data you are working with and what result you are looking for, can you share any more details?

      2. MJ*

        If you just want the text in your Word document and not have it formatted as a table…
        – select and copy the section of the Excel spreadsheet you want
        – in Word, RIGHT CLICK where you want to insert the text and select “unformatted text”

        If the pasted table is too wide for your Word doc, go into Table Properties and select to make the table width 100%. This will make the whole thing fit between the margins and you can manipulate the column widths as best suits your need. (You can untick the set width box after the table has shrunk to manipulate it further, without it reverting back to the pasted size.)

    2. Claire*

      What’s powerquery!? I think of myself as excel adept and i know how to make and work pivots but what is this new found POWERQUERY! I must know!

      1. Ferret*

        I’ve mostly used in situations where i need to combine and analyse multiple files and reports – so for example when a weekly report is saved in a folder you can set up a query that will automatically pull it into your main analysis sheet.

        Or in one case we had a list of locations, stock data, and delivery data that was all in different formats and different sources and needed to be combine to predict inventory levels.

        You can see the option if you go into the Data tab and select GetData but there’s so much you can do that it is hard to summarise – if you are interested it’s worth looking up some intro to PowerQuery videos on youtube and seeing if it might be helpful

    3. Excel newbie*

      Hi! My question seems ridiculously easy but I can’t figure it out. Is there a way to select a number of cells in a column and see how many there are without actually counting them or doing some kind of subtraction?

      1. Ferret*

        When you select a group of cells (as in literally select with your mouse) that have data in them you shoudl see a count in the bottom right corner – if they are numerical you should also get an average and sum – although it will only count cells wiht data in them, not blanks. If you are talking about checking how many cells are in a column you can use COUNT (counts all cells with numbers), COUNTA (counts all non-blank cells including text) and COUNTIF / COUNTIFS (lets you add conditions – with all conditional functions I alwaysprefer to use the IFS version because it means i can add more conditions later if i need to )

        Does that get you what you need?

        1. Ferret*

          Oh also, if you do want to know how many blanks there are there is also a COUNTBLANK function – it’s great for checking what the completion% is of a form

  53. Former Animal Welfare worker*

    Non-judgmental, honest animal lover who is not an animal behaviorist, but has worked with many at a major animal welfare organization. Regularly answer questions from family and friends about the oddities of their very adorable cats and dogs. (sorry rabbit and bird people, love them, just don’t understand them quite as well)

    1. Lab Boss*

      We have a middle-aged cat who is both very large-framed, and moderately overweight. He likes to lay full-length on his back, sometimes with his legs extended and sometimes with them folded near his torso, for long periods of time (sometimes even fully falling asleep). I’ve never seen a cat so willing to expose his belly- is this just a weird cat quirk?

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        You lucked out! It’s your cat’s weird quirk. But, it’s not unheard of. I also had a large cat (20 lber) who would occasionally fall asleep on his back with his paws stretched above his head. (I called it his superman pose). It’s possible that this might be a weight-related thing, but more importantly demonstrates that your cat very much trusts his environment. So congratulations, you’ve created a happy home for your pet.

      2. mli0531*

        We had a foster do this and he wasn’t even overweight. Just loved sleeping with his belly against the back of the couch or his belly in the air. It’s freaking adorable

      3. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        We have a cat that does this, and he isn’t overweight or anything–some cats just feel comfortable enough doing it!

    2. Lifelong Learner*

      I’m not sure if there’s any solution to this, but about a year and a half ago I adopted a (probably 5-6 year old? probably a golden doodle or something? He’s large and curly) dog who was a breeder dog at a puppy mill. We obviously had to adjust him to living in a house, potty training, trusting people, etc. and he’s a really good boy. He went from being pretty jumpy (especially around dudes) to only a little jumpy on occasion. I have two questions:

      1) He’s very big and tends to get VERY excited. In his excitement, he tends to step on people’s feet (it really hurts, especially if you’re barefoot), knock into the 4 year old (I can tell he tries NOT to do this but it still happens), and pick up his bear-paws and smack you (it’s cute until he smacks you in the leg and gives you bruises). How can I work on getting him to contain himself a bit better? Is it just working on the ‘sit’ command better? I’ve been admittedly lax on actually training him due to other demands on my time.

      2) He’s lanky and he pees on his own front legs. He’s gotten a little better at this (he seems to make more of an effort to not soak them), but it still happens… is there any way to get him to stop doing this?

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        I’m wondering if both problems are somewhat related. You seem to have a healthy, happy, yet excitable dog — which could translate into a lack of concentration. Everything is great! Look at that piece of grass! OMG is that a piece of lint on the floor over there! There’s a sunbeam over there, must catch it before it moves. Add people into the mix and the enthusiasm increases. But it does sound like he’s responded well to some training. And if he’s particularly food motivated, you might be able to extend that training even further.

        I’m not a trainer, so I can’t really give you specific tips. Except to say, that if you’ve been a little lax on the training, I’d try to pick it up a bit more consistently. Even if it’s practicing having people walk through the door for five minutes a day. Or put a sign on the door when you’re expecting company to explain that you’re training the pup, and to take a treat from the mailbox and that they should only give the treat if pup sits in front of them. This will let him know that good things come to those who wait.

        1. Lifelong Learner*

          Thank you! I’ll definitely start focusing more on the training — I did so well with my first (now very old) dog, but haven’t as much with the newbie. Appreciate your advice :-)

      2. the.kat*

        With the stepping on people’s feet thing:

        My dog was (sometimes still is) really bad about this. The trainer that we did agility work with said that they sometimes don’t know or don’t pay attention to where their back feet are. To make my dog focus we had her walk over even spaced poles without stepping on them. We also worked on learning how to back up. Anything that gets their mind thinking about the back feet might be helpful for both of your problems.

        1. Lifelong Learner*

          Oh thank you! That may be helpful because he definitely doesn’t realize where his body is at any given time – we say he thinks he’s just a floating head. Lol.

          1. Usurper Cranberries*

            The poles exercise is called cavaletti if you want to search for tutorials (used more often for horses than dogs). You might also look into paw target training where he puts each paw on a piece of paper or whatever to help him learn to focus on where they are. Stairs exercises where they need to step up onto each stair individually (rather than leaping up the whole staircase at once) is another way to work on body awareness.

      3. Victoria*

        When dealing with an unwanted behavior the best way forward is to give them something else to do. They don’t understand to stop leg punching, while they very much understand that sitting or laying down gets them treats. You can also reward them for staying in a particular area, if that’s a better option, for example you can teach them to back away or go to their mat. In that case you don’t care if they are standing, sitting, or laying down but if they are out of the kitchen or the front hallway, or behind an artificial line that you create (and they will figure it out if you start slowly and give them the right cues) then that can be a useful option.

    3. Peon*

      I have a cat that has trained me to groom her in the evenings, which I don’t mind for one or two grooming sessions, but after that I just want to read my book in peace. If she comes back a third time and I don’t respond, she starts scratching my new bedroom set because she knows I’ll get out of bed to stop her, and then I’m halfway to grooming her again like she wants. Basically, my cat is outsmarting me. How do I turn the tables?

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        I would try to find a less interactive contact to replace with the grooming. Maybe that’s setting up a toy that she plays with when you read. (My cat was obsessed with cat dancer, which I tied to a chair and would flick when I wanted him to play with it) There are also puzzle toys that some cats appreciate. Toss out a toy that’s filled with catnip (though bear in mind, this may excite them and result in zoomies, which could impact reading)

        The second option is they may just want to engage with you. So you might replace grooming with simple petting, so they relax as you read.

        Though, will note that changing this habit may require some time, so would recommend wrapping some cardboard or double-sided tape to the bedroom set to avoid claw marks.

    4. Nannerdoodle*

      My partner and I recently adopted a cat who loves to be up high. We’ve tried keeping her off counters by adding cat perches and trees to rooms where we don’t want her on counters/dressers/tables. When we’re home, we reward her with a treat and/or play time to get her up on the trees or perches in rooms rather than on counters. This has worked remarkably well in the kitchen. However, nothing we do gets her off the dresser in the bedroom. The only thing that will get her to come off is a light spritz of water (which we hate doing). We have a perch and a tree in that room that both have higher and more comfortable spots than the dresser. Any tips?

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        Your cat mileage may vary. But you could try a few different things that cats typically don’t enjoy:

        Tape down a sheet of aluminum foil on the dresser. (Cats sometimes don’t like the way it feels) Double sided tape also works in this way.
        Spray it down with a citrusy scent (lemon, orange, grapefruit, etc.) Cats sometimes dislike the smell.
        Barriers. Place a box that obstructs the edges of the dresser so that there’s nowhere for her to jump on to.

        Also re: water. If a light spritz works and doesn’t traumatize her, I think that’s ok. But if you’re looking for an alternative, loud noises (a clap, a rattle, coins in a bottle) can sometimes result in the same response.

        1. Mad Harry Crewe*

          There’s also a device that puffs air when it senses movement. I don’t recall what it’s called, but the idea is that you make the unwanted surface a somewhat startling place to be. I know I’ve seen them various places but the only one I can think of right now is Jackson Galaxy’s shop.

      2. Usurper Cranberries*

        What does she do on the dresser? What is different about the dresser than the cat tree/perch? Can she see look out a window better from the dresser than the tree/perch? Is the dresser a cool surface she enjoys? Are there things on the dresser she wants to interact with? Does she ever go on the tree/perch near the dresser? If so, when and what does she do while she’s on them? Figuring out why the dresser is more appealing than the tree/perch can give you an inroad to making the alternatives more attractive.

    5. The Prettiest Curse*

      My dog is a rescue (Lab/Malinois/Staffie mix) and he can be overly reactive to other dogs. We’ve more or less trained him out of barking, but he will sometimes still lunge. Other than the obvious advice of walking him with a leash and harness, giving him calm and consistent voice commands, putting plenty of distance between us and other dogs (usually, but not always possible in the park where he gets walked) and rewarding him when he does react appropriately (all of which we already do), do you have any other advice? He has never attacked another dog, and he does have a few doggy pals that he can happily run around with off-leash. Thank you!

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        This one might be a little outside my wheelhouse. But it does sound like you’ve established a really good pattern. I was reading somewhere that dogs will lunge even if you’re trying to train them not to because they may feel like they need to protect you. And the reality is that they should expect you to protect them. This isn’t to say that you haven’t done that … all dog brains are wired differently. But it’s something to think about.

        The one thing I didn’t read in your post is what you do when passing another dog. Keeping distance is great. But it might help to stop the walk. Stand in front of your dog so he actively sees you protecting him and then continuing the walk when the threat (aka: other doggo) has passed.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          Thank you! He usually over-reacts to small dogs, so no idea what he could be thinking re: the potential threat, as he’s way bigger than them.
          We do often try to stop and pet him (for reassurance) when another dog approaches, but we’ll try standing between him and other dogs too.

          1. Victoria*

            When I have a dog with this problem, I walk off to the side and distract the dog with a treat. Over time, you should be able to continue walking (with you between your dog and the other one for safety) while holding the treat in their face as you walk past, and if all goes well then later you can be less obvious with the treats. You can also reward good observing behaviors, for example reward your dog for looking at a dog and then looking right back at you. If your dog can learn that seeing a dog, followed by checking in with you, is then followed by a reward then the observing of a dog becomes a positive instead of a stress. This can initially be taught with something other than dogs, for example a toy, and I’ve typically started by training it on a nearby pathway where a lot of dogs pass. I sit stationary with my foster and move closer or further from the path depending on how the dog is feeling that day. The ideal is to get them a bit closer, but not so close that they ever react.

            At the least I would stop petting him and see if that helps. It works with some dogs, and in other cases it reinforces their stress. Distraction and rewarding good behavior is often the best method.

            1. The Prettiest Curse*

              Thank you, we’ll give this a try! He can be a bit obsessive in his reactions to other dogs, so sometimes even putting a treat right in front of his nose won’t stop him fixating on the dog half a fired away.

          2. Sloanicota*

            Not the OP but I have a large dog, and he ignores small dogs (no threat) but freaks out at dogs close to his size or larger; he is protective. If your dog is more activated by small dogs, it may be more about prey drive more than protectiveness. Terriers are prone to this. To be fair my dogs is sometimes reactive just because he wants to play with the other dog, or at least get its attention, and it’s not necessarily aggression. But if he went for a teacupper, I’d assume he was trying to chomp it. The advice given here is still good though, teach him distraction techniques and reward him for disengaging with treats. He can learn he should not go for other dogs.

      2. Ghostess*

        I’m not a trainer, but I have a reactive GSD and have worked with a few great positive reinforcement trainers. It sounds like you’re already doing a lot of the really important work, which is reinforcement and management.

        The other piece is desensitization. That would look like taking your dog somewhere where there are other dogs, but keeping him at a distance from them. Stay at a distance where he can notice them but not react, and reward him for that. You can slowly get closer, and just keep an eye on where his threshold is.

        Ultimately, the reality may just be that he will always be reactive to dogs when he’s on leash. It’s super common – a lot of dogs have leash reactivity, because they feel like they can’t express themselves/navigate encounters the way they would off-leash. My dog will always be chaos on leash, and we just have to manage our environment. You can also look up BAT training by Grisha Stewart – I know a few folks who have had success with that, though I haven’t tried it personally because it wasn’t feasible for my dog and our environment.

        1. constant_craving*

          This. Desensitization is basically always the correct answer for reactive behavior. Really high value rewards help!

    6. Finn*

      We’re having a dog in our family (my parents, my siblings and me). Do you have any ideas on how to get her to leave me alone? Somehow she loves to sit/lie/stand near me…
      Also, I’ve been having an argument with my sister – do dogs make a difference between who says a command (so for example, if I say “lie” and she first sits, thinks a moment and then lies down, and I give her a treat for it/act like that’s exactly what she should do, does that cause a problem for my sister teaching her she has to lie down without sitting and thinking for a moment or does the dog learn that when I say it being slow is fine, and when my sister says it the dog has to be fast)?

      1. Former Animal Welfare worker*

        A couple of notes… If you want the dog to leave you alone, don’t engage with the dog. You can ignore them or leave the space. Gently excusing yourself from a dog’s area, is perfectly fine. Just don’t push, pull, shout, or punish the dog for being interested in you. That will just make them fearful of you, which could result in them acting aggressively.

        If you don’t want the dog to pay attention to you, I would also recommend that you should not be involved in it’s training. That would be deeply confusing to the dog. So, if you would prefer the dog to leave you alone, then let your sister train the dog.

        It can also be problematic if you and your sister are teaching different responses. Either response is fine, though it fully depends on the dog’s capabilities. (Long-legged dogs may need a little time to settle into a lay, then say dachshund). Either way, no one should push, pull, punish or shout at the dog for their response. (i.e. don’t push the dog down if you want him to lay down.) Also it’s important to note that it’s important for the dog to learn basic commands first and then you can refine them as they learn more.

        1. Finn*

          Don’t worry, no shouting, pushing etc involved in training :-) we don’t want to hurt the dog after all! So far, tricking her into doing what we want (for example holding a piece of food next to us while walking so she walks next to us), and when she does that say whatever command we want for that, works very well. She learns quickly!
          Victoria mostly got it correctly, I’m usually okay with her coming to say hi or asking to be petted or asking that I play with her, just not when I’m in the middle of reading or similar stuff. I’ll see what happens if I generally become more boring for her (that’s what you’re aiming at, right? Showing the dog “Finn rarely does anything with me, so I won’t be successful asking for it”).
          (I guess it’s obvious I’m not a dog expert, but I know enough to go on a walk with her and practice with her a bit etc.)
          Thanks a lot for your reply!

      2. Victoria*

        Do you want to be left alone all the time, or only in specific situations like sitting on a couch? You can train them to stay out of your bubble.

    7. Human cat tree*

      We adopted our cat 6 months ago and about 1 month ago she has started jumping/climbing up my back when I sit down at our dining room table. She mostly focuses on me although will very occasionally do it to my son or husband (usually if I am not around). She seems to be play attacking me. On a few occasions she has even done it while I am standing in a room (basically climbing my body). She is not really attacking me, but it can still hurt at times. We have been trying to calmly remove her and redirect, moved a cat tree near the table so she could be near us and up high but nothing has stopped the behavior so far. We have resorted to putting her in her room while we eat meals but I would prefer not to do that if we could train her out of this habit. any ideas?

      1. Former Animal Welfare Worker*

        Are you the cat’s main caretaker? If so, that might be why she’s focusing on you during mealtimes. Could be that during the day everyone is so busy and rushing around that when it’s dinner time and everyone is calm and sitting down at the table, she perceives this as the opportunity to play with you and everyone.

        I would recommend a divide and conquer approach. If you typically feed her, I would have your son or husband play with her for about 30 minutes before dinner. Really make her work with a wand toy or cat dancer toy mouse or ribbon. Make her run and jump around for it. Give her lots of encouragement (but e careful with petting if she’s chasing after a toy). Then give her dinner while you eat yours.

      2. Victoria*

        Can you block off the area, for example is she jumping up over the back of the chair so would a blanket or sweater hung over the back of the chair help? You can try shaking cans of coins to make a harsh noise, or spray with water. I really prefer not spraying cats but sometimes it helps with very specific unwanted behaviors. If spraying doesn’t work after a few attempts then I wouldn’t continue.

    8. NerdyPrettyThings*

      I’ve always had a dog, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had a puppy. Last weekend we adopted one that was born around Valentine’s Day. I know puppies “go” a lot, but I’m concerned she might be going too much. How much is really normal? For example, yesterday she was in her kennel a few hours without going at all, which was a first, but after I got home, she urinated eight times in 45 minutes.

      1. Former Animal Welfare Worker*

        Eight times in 45 minutes is a lot. But, if she’s training, she may still be training her body’s reaction to it. It might have been the stress of being left alone. Or it could be the excitement that you were home after being gone for a few hours. There are a lot of variables. I would say that if this happened once, it’s likely not an issue, but you should keep an eye on it.

      2. constant_craving*

        8 times in 45 minutes is enough that (unless it was only then and she had just drank a ton of water, or if she was marking) I would check in with your vet about a potential UTI.

        I would expect a two month old puppy to be ok with potty breaks about 30 minutes apart, generally.

    9. Clover*

      We have four cats, including a semi-feral one who’s made huge progress. He has been with us for nearly 5 years now, the past year as an indoor cat. But he is still afraid of my husband! My husband loves cats and has only ever been kind and gentle to him, but he can still only occasionally get close enough to pet him unless he’s actively distributing treats.

      I think the cat basically distrusts everyone except me; I’m the one who patiently lured him from the yard to the porch to eventually inside, with treats and baby talk and pets and careful, slow movements. I still move cautiously with him and approach him from his preferred side.

      My husband would like for the cat to trust him more, and I would like that too, but I don’t think there’s really a shortcut to putting in the work like I did.

      Is there anything I can do, as the cat’s only trusted person, to help him understand that the other human who lives here is friend, not foe? or do the two of them just need to sort this out on their own?

      1. Former Animal Welfare Worker*

        The best thing he could do is to be the primary food maker in the house. Your husband should take care of all the cat’s meal times and treat times. For several weeks. By himself. You shouldn’t fill in for him because the cat wants to eat at 5 AM (because we know how they like to be the early alarm clock).

        If he’s already the primary feeder. Then I would recommend he should also take care of playtime too. If the cat has a favorite wand toy or mouse. Your husband should be the dangler or tosser. (You still get all the cuddle time)

    10. Sixteenlbsostubbornpanther*

      Do you have any suggestions for a cat that just isn’t very interested in playing? We know our chubster needs exercise, and she’ll pounce on our legs to try to wrestle with us. But she’ll only deign to actually chase/pounce about 1 out of 20 tries if we use a fishing rod style toy, and she almost never goes after a toy on her own. She’ll sit for 15+ minutes contentedly watching us wriggle a worm or dance a ribbon in front of her, completely immune to it. Catnip in a toy means it gets ripped apart & eaten, not played with. Catnip spray on a toy gets a good hard sniff, then ignored. (Silvervine makes her aggressive!) We’ve wasted over a hundred dollars on toys that move, chirp, floppy fish, red dot, or roll; most of them enticed one half-decent play session, then she figured out how they worked and got bored. Kicker toys are usually snubbed too (though occasionally she’ll pick a fight with one of my rugs!)

      1. Former Animal Welfare Worker*

        I had a similar adorably large cat who was not interested in strenuous activities. We never really got into a consistent exercise routine, but one thing that was mildly helpful was using a fill-able ball with irregular holes. Fill with some standard dry food/treats demonstrate that food falls out when he rolls the ball, and the idea is that she will walk around with the ball as it delivers food.

        Also though, the destruction of a catnip toy is exercise! She has to exert a lot of energy to rip one of those suckers apart. (Though I recognize buying replacements gets expensive.)

        A few caveats with the food ball. 1) make sure you reduce the amount you feed during mealtimes. 2) People may come after me/you for feeding dry food. Wet food is better for cats. But a little dry is good for the teeth. So, if your cat normally eats wet food, don’t completely substitute dry for wet, use the dry as a treat and bear the calories in mind.

  54. Lily Rowan*

    I decided yesterday that I’m really good at asking questions. Raising things that people have skimmed past, or getting more detail, or just literally finding something out that I don’t know.

    1. Lab Boss*

      I can relate to that! I’m considered a regular suspect in meetings when some new idea is being rolled out, to find the logic hole or unanswerable question and raise it before it hits us in the real world.

    2. ArtsNerd*

      I’m terrible about asking questions in social contexts. I want to know more about people, but I’m not sure how to draw it out of them.

      1. Lily Rowan*

        I think a lot of that is just about self-talk — you are being interested, vs being nosy. I was once at a party with a semi-famous media person, and I walked away thinking we had a great conversation and realized later he just interviewed me! But I genuinely believed he was super interested in what I had to say.

        1. ArtsNerd*

          Wow I absolutely talk myself out of some questions thinking that it’s prying… good catch!

  55. Schnapps*

    I am good at governance and meeting management (no, not a lawyer, but law-adjacent). I write resolutions, bylaws, and wrangle elected officials into meetings. Then I tell them what they can do within the boundaries of procedure and policy (and some law).

    I also do board procedure training (the basics, nothing fancy – more of “I’m on a board now, what does that mean and what the heck do I do?)

      1. More promise than lick*

        I had an editor/compiler that would split screen with the PDF. Mostly I wrote in one huge document, but I also maintained a “spare” with all the headers/support packages/access to my image folder in parallel that had no text except whatever bit wouldn’t #&££ing compile, so I could rapidly iterate/troubleshoot. Particularly useful with equation formatting!

        I’d also sometimes just write in something like Notepad when I couldn’t stand staring at the screen or if had a really great idea but was on my phone.

        Also FWIW I used Harvard referencing for my internal bibliography – papers were listed as AuthorYear and cited as such in the document. Much easier to read/remember/look up/fix, and it’d come out as the university’s standard at the end anyway.

    2. Plate of Wings*

      I did the same and even though it doesn’t come up at work now, I’m so happy I got good at it! My standards for technical documentation are high because of it, and that definitely does come up at work, and probably always will. You should be proud of mastering this!

  57. Lab Boss*

    I work in food safety. If you have questions I’ll do my best to answer- anything from “is this safe to eat” to “what about this chemical I heard might be in my food.”

    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      Diced vegetables stored in a ziploc in the fridge, how many days later can they be safely used? Like chopped them Sunday, want to just add a handful to meals throughout the week. Is it better to like cut half an onion and leave the other half intact rather than dice it all at once and use over the next few days?

      1. varsha10*

        Ooh, related question – if fridge vegetables are too soft to eat raw, are they still OK to eat cooked?

        1. Lab Boss*

          That depends on how they’re getting soft. If you’re seeing wilting- carrot sticks or cabbage leaves starting to go limp or floppy- they are probably still safe to cook and eat (but you might not enjoy the texture as much). If the physical structure is getting soft, like soft or mushy spots, then you’re seeing active microbe spoilage and I would not attempt to salvage the food. If it’s very localized softness I will sometimes just cut away a generous portion around the soft spot, and use the rest as long as it’s in good shape.

      2. Lab Boss*

        I’ve never had a concern about using chopped vegetables through a whole week, as long as you’re storing them refrigerated (with “dry” and solid vegetables, like carrots, potentially lasting much longer). You’re likely to see a quality loss before a safety loss with something like onion, with it starting to dry out or develop a “skin” on the cut edges.

        Beyond a week you’re getting riskier- it will depend on the quality of the specific veg, and on things like how often you took it out of the fridge and for how long. If you’re risk-averse, a week max. If you’re more comfortable, trust your nose and fingers- most produce will start to spoil (unpleasant smell, taste, or texture) before it becomes actually unsafe to eat.

    2. varsha10*

      I am very forgetful and frequently leave my lunch in the car instead of bringing it in to the office with me. How long before I have to throw it away, assuming the weather isn’t too hot?

      1. Lab Boss*

        I’m going to give you two answers: the official answer and my answer.

        The “danger zone” for food safety is bigger than you think: 40 – 140 Fahrenheit. As little as 2 hours in this temperature range is enough for the food to become unsafe. The food doesn’t have to have been “dirty” for this to happen- unless you were cooking in a sterile environment and immediately vacuum-sealed your lunch, there’s microbes in there. If your lunch is in a cooler with ice packs you would have some extra time.

        My personal answer is that it depends- things like liquid and dairy are much more vulnerable. If you leave an apple, carrot sticks, and a peanut butter sandwich in the car… well, I can’t tell you what’s safe, but I wouldn’t be overly worried if it was my lunch.

    3. Cheezmouser*

      My kid’s preschool doesn’t have a fridge for storing lunches so I send a packed lunch in plastic lunchbox with a thin ice pack insert. I worry that the salami or cheese will go bad cuz it sits in a cubby for 4 hours at room temperature before lunch time. Is it ok to pack deli meats and other highly perishable foods in the lunchbox?

      1. Rhetorician*

        I’ll add my question to this thread, since it’s similar: My office provides breakfast in the morning, which includes items like breakfast burritos wrapped in foil. They tend to sit out on the counter for hours until they’re all gone. At what point should I stop eating them? Should I ask the office manager to start putting them away?

        1. Lab Boss*

          If they’re sitting out at room temperature (not refrigerated or kept in a 140+ F hot box), standard food service guidance says they are no longer safe after about 2 hours. Wet foods (I’m assuming cheese, eggs, greasy meats) are often better environments for microbial growth. There’s no exact 2-hour cutoff of course, this is a case where *probably* they’re fine until lunch time, but you’re creating a risk.

          Ideally they’d be put into refrigerated storage within 1-2 hours of being delivered.

        2. Lab Boss*

          (my first reply may have been eaten, forgive this if it’s a duplicate): Especially considering breakfast foods are likely to be wet (eggs, cheese, greasy meat, moist vegetables), if they aren’t being held at a safe temperature then standard food-handling guidance says they should be left out no more than 2 hours.

          That’s not a rigid cutoff where it will immediately be unsafe afterward, but you’re creating a risk. Once they’re no longer appetizingly hot (within that 1-2 hour window of when they’re fresh), just move them to the fridge.

      2. Lab Boss*

        Interesting that you mention salami- cured meats will actually hold up much better than non-cured meats!

        The ice pack is likely doing the job just fine, especially if it’s resting right on the sandwich. If you’re still concerned, are you able to upgrade to an insulated bag/box and a larger ice pack? The insulated container will help keep the entire inside cold instead of just what the ice pack is touching.

    4. Not Totally Subclinical*

      A family member likes to leave a stockpot of soup to cool on the counter before putting it in the fridge. How long is too long to leave it cooling?

      1. Lab Boss*

        See my answer to varsha10 about the danger zone and 2 hours. Your family member is right to not put a large volume of hot soup in the fridge, but what they’re doing is a hazard as the middle of the pot will stay at a very friendly microbial-growth temp for a long time as it cools from the outside in. (and if they’re putting a full stockpot in the fridge, that center is probably still in the danger zone for hours even in the fridge).

        Instead, I recommend splitting a big volume of liquid leftovers into smaller containers so they’ll cool quicker on the counter, and within 1-2 hours move them into the fridge to continue cooling. Once everything is fairly cold they can then blend it all back together in a single large container if desired.

      2. Diatryma*

        A stockpot tip: put it in a sink full of water instead. Water soaks up heat like nobody’s business, and the pot will cool off faster.

        1. Lab Boss*

          That will also work, but you’d want to be regularly stirring the pot as well if you can. The water will help pull heat from the outer-most part of the soup but you’re still at risk for a “warm center.”

    5. ZSD*

      Do you have tips on deciding whether to eat home-canned goods? My mother used to be a big home canner, and neighbors would also bring over their goodies, and now that Mom can no longer live at home, we’re trying to eat our way through the old jelly, apple sauce, spaghetti sauce, green beans, etc. Of course none of this has expiration dates stamped on it. How do you feel about apple sauce from 2014? Spaghetti sauce from 2010? Is there a rule of thumb for how long it takes home-canned goods to go bad?

      1. Lab Boss*

        I’m going to preface this by saying this is NOT my area of expertise, and the safest answer is for you to throw away any home-preserved foods you aren’t SURE is <2 years old and properly canned. That's the answer that's going to be in line with any official source you find: the food should be eaten within a year of canning, and no more than 2 years.

        Now, I've eaten home-canned food older than that and I'm sure you have too. If you don't want to throw it all away, here are what my biggest red flags would be:
        – vacuum seal not firmly intact (if you're not sure if that little poppy top is moving, play it safe and don't eat it)
        – Cloudy appearance (sign of microbial growth)
        – visual changes: funny colors, lots of separation in things like sauces, solid food looking grainy/mealy/slimy (even if the food isn't unsafe, these likely mean the quality is bad)
        – any corrosion, rust, sedimentation, or other buildup anywhere on the lid (can indicate an imperfect seal allowing a reaction with the contents)

    6. The Gollux, Not a Mere Device*

      We have some leftover tuna/broccoli/pasta salad, which was served at room temperature and refrigerated after dinner. How long can we safely keep it before eating?

      That may be an oddly specific question, but I just looked in the fridge for something else and was reminded we have this leftover.

      1. Lab Boss*

        It’s specific enough I can’t give you an exact answer. The longer it was out at room temperature the more you’ve shortened its overall refrigerated safe life. This is a case where in your shoes I would look for physical signs of spoilage- if it’s sitting in a pool of liquid that wasn’t there before or has become soft, slimy, or smelly, dispose of it.

    7. jokes*

      Can I hire you to come sniff the milk in my fridge when I think it’s gone funny? My husband is no longer providing this service lol

    8. Minimal Pear*

      How long past the “eat by” date do you think nondairy yogurt is okay? I’m planning to use it up ASAP but that still might take a few days.

      1. Lab Boss*

        I’m not familiar with non-dairy yogurt so I can’t give you an answer to that. I eat primarily Greek yogurt and will happily have it a week past the printed date without thinking twice, and even further if it still passes the sniff test.

        MOST printed dates are based around quality and the store needing to sell them before they’ve gone bad- which means you’ve got at least a few days grace before they actually become a problem. Dairy yogurt is an active culture, which helps it last because the good microbial culture helps fend off anything else that might want to grow there.

        1. Minimal Pear*

          Got it, thanks! I believe this one is active as well–I actually got it because I would love to use a bit of it to start my own homemade yogurt.

      2. Janne*

        In my experience, when soy yogurt goes bad it gets hairy so it’s easy to recognize that you shouldn’t eat it anymore. Mine gets white or blue-green fungus on the edges of the container. The white one is hard to see, so I always sniff the yogurt and look at it under good lighting.

      1. Lab Boss*

        Thanks! There’s no universal way to compare them- some foods can become dangerous before they ever start to noticeably “go bad,” while others will politely taste terrible even before they’d do you any harm. For MOST people, unless you’re leaving warm food (especially creamy/liquid/seafood) sit at room temperature for hours on end, if it looks/tastes/smells OK it’s very likely safe.

        Likewise, if food was good when it went into the freezer and hasn’t been thawed out since, I will never assume it’s become unsafe. It might be frostbitten past the point of being good, or useful only for stew, but the odds of it actually presenting a danger are low enough that I, personally, don’t worry.

    10. More promise than lick*

      Oh, I have one! I make a bechamel-based cheese sauce for macaroni, cauliflower etc. Is there a way to meal prep this so I can (say) cook on Sunday, use half on Thursday? With two young kids, “time to cook” is in very short supply…

      1. Lab Boss*

        You’re out of my wheelhouse there!

        The general guidance I’d give you combines what I’ve told others: When you cook it, get the half you want to save cooled as fast as possible (ideally by dividing it into smaller containers to maximize the surface-to-volume ratio) and store it tightly sealed once cool. Check for signs of spoilage before using (changes to appearance, taste, smell, or texture). There’s nothing in a standard bechamel that raises any major red flags for me in terms of food safety other than the dairy, which should keep well in the fridge.

    11. Cj*

      I did decide to eat it yesterday, so I’m asking this a little late. fortunately it didn’t make me sick comma so apparently it was okay.

      I had called fixings ready for a burrito before I discovered that the Top the Tator I use on them was dated the middle of February. it had never been opened, and seemed okay so I did go ahead and eat it. this is a safe thing to do, or should I avoid it in the future?

      1. Lab Boss*

        I had to Google it to figure out what top the Tater was :D

        Sour cream does have active cultures which can help it fend off spoilage, and the fact that it was unopened likely helped as well. That being said, I would have been cautious with it once it was a week past the expiry date, and even my fairly risk-accepting self would not have eaten a dairy-based product over a month past expiry. It’s not shocking that it was still good, but you did still need a bit of luck.

        1. ST*

          For those sorts of cultured dairy products, would you open it and take a look/smell when it’s expired, or is it a situation where it could be unsafe but not visible?

    12. Totally Hypothetical*

      How long can I keep meat in my freezer and still eat it without getting sick (assuming I don’t lose power or otherwise thaw the freezer)?

      1. Lab Boss*

        If you’re freezing it when it’s still fresh and not putting it through any freeze/thaw cycles, frozen meat held under 0 degrees F should be SAFE effectively forever. Depending on the cut and quality of meat you will start seeing the quality go down in anywhere from 4-12 months on average. Unlike other answers I’ve given here, that’s not “spoilage,” it will just start to suffer from freezer burn and become mealy or spongy. Even then you can probably still salvage it by doing something like a stew that will largely break it down.

    13. Jack Russell Terrier*

      An I being ‘too American’?! I feel like this is basic cross-contamination no-nos.

      Recently visiting friends and family in the UK, things that concerned me.
      *the kind of leaving on the stove you’ve been talking about
      *dipping knife into Boursin, running it along chicken breasts then using the same knife to get more Bourin for more chicken breasts etc. I mentioned it might not be a good idea, my friend said he’d been doing it for years. I’m vegetarian … I let it drop as it didn’t look like I was going to change him
      * same friend dipped his fingers back and forth between the salt bowl and steaks … .

      A while back there was an article in The Washington Post about how the most cross-contamination was on spices as people handle the jars without cleaning their hands.

      I cook meat for my husband, but as a vegetarian I’m incredibly conscious of keeping my hands clean of meat.

      1. More promise than lick*

        Europeans (including the UK) are much less fussed about chicken in particular because it’s mandatory to vaccinate chickens against it, so you just don’t really see it.

        1. Jack Russell Terrier*

          This would be a cross-contamination issue, where the raw chicken is now on the Boursin and will enjoy life there for … weeks, which might not be exactly healthy when eating the Boursin? UK sources point cross-contamination as an issue.

          1. More promise than lick*

            It’s still… let’s say “I’ll advised”, it’s just that “OMG raw chicken are you trying to kill somebody” isn’t really a thing here.

            For what it’s worth, “don’t cross contaminate raw meat with other stuff” is pushed in schools but the way it’s pushed really suggests to me that a lot of people aren’t doing it. (Kinda like the hand washing advice during early COVID).

      2. Lab Boss*

        I’m assuming you mean raw chicken and steak here?

        I certainly wouldn’t do those things. I’m American and can’t speak to the idea that chicken is less likely be salmonella-contaminated in the UK (it’s possible), but raw chicken is one of those “do NOT be casual about safety with this” foods for me. What you’re describing would be a really really major safety issue in the US based on the risks of raw chicken.

        Raw beef juice going into the salt… it’s probably not going to really go bad, salt is a preservative and beef isn’t as likely to have the real fun pathogens. I still wouldn’t do it, although that realistically could be more of an issue of palatability than true safety. I don’t know how much I would trust that salt to still be good once the beef juice residue sat on it a while.

    14. Moving to pharma from frontline healthcare*

      I have some tins of out of date food – vegetables and beans mostly.
      Are they still ok to eat if the best before date was 2-3 years ago?

      1. Lab Boss*

        Honestly you should be fine, commercially canned food is essentially good indefinitely* although you could see some quality/texture issues.

        IMPORTANT: This is only true if the can is in good shape. If you can see ANY rust, corrosion, bulging, or even a small dent, assume it is contaminated. Even a little dent from falling off a shelf could put a tiny crack in the can and allow contamination.

    15. Venus*

      Any foods you won’t eat? A friend works with food safety and won’t eat romaine lettuce unless it’s local. Any other suggestions?

      1. Lab Boss*

        There are foods I’m more careful with (raw chicken, cooked creamy foods left out at room temp) and foods I’m less worried than the average person (raw beef, medium-rare pork). There are no foods that I refuse entirely for safety reasons, unless you get into the real niche cases like maggot cheese.

        I often quote my college roommate, “you can’t get a microbiology degree without knowing how many germs are out there. This either makes you a germophobe, or you stop caring at all and start eating cake you found on the sidewalk.”

        1. CowWhisperer*

          I literally said the same thing as your roommate to some coworkers today!

          I took microbiology as part of my bio major and am much more “eh, they’ll be fine” about my two special needs students who occasionally explore various classroom items by licking them. I make sure everything is non-toxic and we wash down the high touch surfaces daily – but I don’t freak out when a kid eats a cracker that fell onto the dry, hard floor before we can stop them.

    16. EmilyClimbs*

      My general approach to expired food is that it feels fairly safe to eat if it’s within around 15-20% of the total storage time (i.e. if when I bought it the expiration date was a month away, I’ll eat it up to 5-6 days after the “use by” date, or if the date was a year away I’ll eat it up to a couple months later), assuming it still looks/smells/feels normal. Does this seem like a generally reasonable rule of thumb, or would you suggest a different one? Are there certain kinds of foods that make sense to be more or less relaxed about when it comes to expiration dates?

      Also, it seems like *tons* of food products say “refrigerate after opening and eat within 5 days,” including some that surprise me. Is that typically just a CYA statement, or are there really that many foods that go bad that quickly in the fridge?

      Thanks so much!

      1. Lab Boss*

        It’s not a terrible rule of thumb, although no official food safety governing body would admit it out loud. Off the top of my head I would say if the food has a year or more claimed shelf life, there’s a very good chance it’s never going to go bad if it stays in normal storage conditions in a sealed, non-damaged container, but I wouldn’t stake my life that I’m not forgetting anything.

        I’ve mentioned in other replies, some things are more inclined to go bad. Creamy, dairy, seafood, and poultry are all fairly fragile. Beef is probably the “safest” of the meats. Foods with active culture are more resistant to the growth of spoilage organisms and pathogens. Heavily spiced or seasoned food (including salt, onion, and garlic) is often more microbially resistant.

        I don’t know if I’ve ever noticed a “use within 5 days” notice on anything- do you have any examples? I can tell you plenty of “refrigerate after opening” warnings are probably mostly CYA, although there’s no harm in C’ing your own A and refrigerating them.

        1. They Don’t Make Sunday*

          Jumping in with some examples! Jarred roasted red peppers and also tomato paste. One says use within 7 days and the other says use within 10 days (I don’t remember which is which). I’ve started freezing the leftovers, but if I forget, how long are these okay in the fridge once opened?

        2. EmilyClimbs*

          In the fridge right now I have hummus that says “use within 7 days of opening,” a tempeh-based thing that says “use or freeze within 3-5 days of opening,” and vegetarian hot dogs made with soy protein that also say “use or freeze within 3-5 days of opening.” I feel like this comes up a lot but can’t remember a ton of good examples… I believe one of them that surprised me was enchilada sauce.

    17. Deb*

      What are your thoughts on the 5 second rule as it relates to food dropped on the floor or in the sink?

      1. Lab Boss*

        That it’s basically irrelevant. If the food is wet or sticky, or it lands on a dirty surface, then it’s dirty as soon as it makes contact. If it’s safe after 5 seconds it’s just as safe after 10, or 15.

    18. miseleigh*

      I love sushi/sashimi/poke, but it’s expensive. Where/how do I get sushi-grade fish so I can make my own? I’m guessing I can’t just buy the salmon at the fish counter in the grocery store. Same question for beef tartare :)

      1. Lab Boss*

        That’s not a question I’m equipped to answer, but you’re on the right track that I wouldn’t just go to a random fish counter. I would look to specialty grocery stores and butcher shops and be very specific about what you want to do with what you’re buying, they should be able to either sell you what you need, or help find it.

        I’ll note that this may not be the trick you think it is, quality raw goods (especially sushi grade fish) won’t be cheap- keep an eye on both your ingredients and your time cost, as well as how likely you are to replicate your favorite dishes. For delicate items like sushi I’ve found it’s a better bargain in the end to just give in and go to a restaurant.

        1. ST*

          Here in Japan, fish in the supermarket is specifically labeled for raw use if it’s intended for it ;)

      2. Elizabeth*

        I get frozen wild salmon shipped by the box from Alaska. They freeze it on the boats as they catch it, so I think it’s as safe as I’m going to get. There are a few companies that sell it. I haven’t found an equivalent for tuna, though.

    19. chemipedia*

      I know about the float test for raw eggs but how do I tell if a boiled egg is no good anymore? Preferably without having to tas

    20. Sapientia*

      I read that milk (even pasteurised) goes bad within a week of opening it (i.e. you should not drink it anymore) even if it does not smell or taste sour.
      Is that really true?

      Also, not sure about slightly moldy fruits or vegetables: my instinct is usually to throw away the whole thing/bunch because of spores, but my partner thinks cutting the moldy part away generously means you can eat the rest. What is actually safe?

    21. Basic Octopus*

      Why do you have to put your hairnet on first ( before PPE) when going into production facilities? Is that standard or just my company?

      1. chemipedia*

        Idk about food service but in the clean room environment in my chem lab, it’s to keep you from having to handle your hair while putting on your hood, cowl, or mask. It minimizes the chance that your hands will transfer skin or hair to the outside of the rest of your PPE.

  58. Outlook Cat*

    Is there a way to link/tie/connect appointments in Outlook?

    I will have meetings (scheduled by myself or others) and want to have the topics I want to bring up readily available. What I do is schedule another meeting at the same time, with just myself in it and capture all my advance notes in there. My problem arises if the other meeting gets moved around – now I have to remember to move my “topics” meeting as well. Ideally, that would move right along.
    If there is another way to tie personal notes to Outlook meetings, I’d entertain that as well.

    1. Information Governance/Records Management*

      Do you use OneNote? You can tie meetings with OneNote pages in which you’ve captured your notes.

    2. ENFP in Texas*

      Do you use OneNote at all? You could set up a Notebook with tabs for various projects, and each tab could have a page for each meeting, labeled by date.

      Use that page as a scratch pad for your thoughts and topics. If the meeting moves, you can just relabel the page.

    3. Generic Name*

      Ooh, I’m interested in the answer to this as well. I’ll sometimes add an agenda or notes into the notes field in outlook for a meeting, but one time That One Guy proceeded to email responses answering my topics to discuss. I was like, “dude, that’s why I set up this meeting, to discuss these very items.” I didn’t intend to have an email back and forth over the items because it was more efficient to discuss as a group for 30 mins. So I’ve been wary of including an agenda ever since, but that was probably something weird That One Guy did and not a normal response to being presented with a meeting agenda.

    4. Sarah in Boston*

      Do you have/use Teams as well as Outlook? If you have a Teams link in the meeting, you also have a chat, a file share, and some other tabs as well.

  59. goofBall*

    I know the software Figma very well. Anyone looking to break into UX/UI feel free to drop a question!

    1. LunaLena*

      I work in an adjacent field (graphic design) and have been noticing Figma appearing more and more as a recommended skill for designers. I’ve been trying to learn more about it and why it would be a useful tool, but haven’t been able to figure it out just yet. Can you give me an elevator pitch version of what the benefits of Figma are and what it’s used for?

      1. goofBall*

        Absolutely – so if you’re in graphic design you’ll probably stick to the Adobe stalwarts; Illustrator and Photoshop. Figma, while it does have vector capabilities, does not have a wide set of features for graphic design compared to Illustrator. Figma isn’t an illustration tool, its primarily used for designing user interfaces.

        So, if you pivot into user interface, problem discovery, and feature development, Figma will be your go to. Those who use Figma are UX designers, UI designers, and product designers.

        Assuming you are well-versed in Adobe, you may recall a program called Adobe XD. Figma is like that, but much more powerful (in fact, Adobe sunsetted XD and attempted to purchase Figma, but was blocked in July by the FTC). Other Figma precursors include InVision and Sketch.

        Figma blew others programs out of the water with their collaboration abilities. Mulitple people can work on a single file/design at once in Figma, and changes are seen in real time by all members.

        As for whether you should look into it yourself, if you’re not interested in expanding your skillset into user interface, I don’t think it would be worth your time. Graphic design is much more rooted in arts, whereas user interface design is rooted in psychology, technology, _as well as_ design.

        1. LunaLena*

          Thank you so much! I’ve definitely seen it referred to as a great tool for collaboration, but I couldn’t figure out why without doing a deep-dive into it – which, at the moment, I simply haven’t had time for, so I truly appreciate your summary!

          I don’t really deal a whole lot in UX/UI, but it does sound like an interesting area to potentially expand into.

      2. Safflower*

        I’m a career graphic designer who’s dabbled in web design and done some UX coursework. I used Figma as a tool to design web pages / apps. It lets you build functional prototypes so you can click through a site. It’s also pretty lightweight since it can run in browser and all lives on the cloud.

        Adobe used to have their tool (Adobe XD) but doesn’t support it anymore.

        2. Andi*

          The functional prototype thing is why I love it. You can send your team a link, and then on the web they’re looking at your app or site and can click and interact with it just like a live app / site on your phone would work. They see not only the layout and design but the interaction and how it really feels to use the design.

          It also makes the code much easier for the devs!

    2. Design&Grind*

      Yesssssss! Do you know any work arounds for better file management in figma? I haven’t had success finding any options for creating folders within our team projects, and it drives the devs I work with crazy when I share designs on a file by file basis, they’d rather have a folder per topic.

      1. goofBall*

        You can create a project within a team. On the home tab, hover over your team name and a ‘+’ will appear. That’s how you make a project. You can share a link to a project by selecting the project, and going to the top right and clicking “Share” and then the blue “Copy link”

        Within a project, you can create files.
        Within a file, you can create pages.

        Typically, my file organization looks like:

        My company name [Team]
        Name of the page for the app [Project]
        Name of the feature found on that page [File]
        Date of the iteration [Page]

        Also please look into annotating with Dev Mode. The devs I work with love this feature!

        1. Design&Grind*

          Thank you! I’ve used pages before but I think using a different naming convention like the iteration one you mentioned will go a long way. Definitely will be checking out the the dev mode annotations!

          1. goofBall*

            Good luck! The Figma YouTube is an excellent resource as well, so make sure to check that out :)

    3. JTP*

      Is it possible to save templates in Figma? I’m on a team of graphic designers, and we’re moving to using Figma to mock up emails for our email dev team (we were previously using whatever Adobe program we were most used to using, so some used InDesign, some used Illustrator, etc.).

      I’d like to set up templates for designers to start from.

      1. goofBall*

        Sort of. You can go one of two routes:

        1. File Duplication – You can have a create a file as a standard ‘template’, and duplicate that file each time. Similarly, you could have one file for all emails, and within that file have a page as a ‘template.’ Each time you have a new email, duplicate that template page.

        2. Components – You can create a standard template and create it as a component. Each time you copy and paste that main component, you can change the content of it. If you need to tweak the template, just change the main component and all instances of the main component will inherit the changes. Since you know Adobe, this is very similar to their “Smart Object” feature.

        I would recommend #2. There will be a little bit of a learning curve. Check out Figma’s YouTube for all things components.

    4. The Wizard Rincewind*

      My job is primarily writing and editing right now, but the market is dismal for pure writer/editor positions. I’ve been considering a pivot to copywriting, but sometimes a UX/UI position will crop up in my search. How much design knowledge is necessary for UX/UI? I have no design sensibility whatsoever. Does that pretty much ice me out of this field?

      1. goofBall*

        Look into UX writing jobs. These are positions for those who can write snappy content for modals, dialogs, buttons, etc. Writers who can say the most with the least (since no one reads online unless they’re actually reading, like an online newspaper or this blog) while also having the right tone for the brand. i.e. Serious, like a DIY tax service. Playful, like a pet toy subscription. Or authoritative, like getting lab results.

        If you don’t have any sort of design eye; meaning you enjoy pairing together colors, typefaces, spacing out things for visual balance, creating workflows that are usable and appealing to look at, I don’t think this would be the right pivot for you. There are UX jobs where you don’t need those aesthetic chops. Those jobs the focus is on creating wireframes that solve problems and then handing to a UI designer who adds the (literal and figurative) color to the screens. But it would be a harsh pivot from copywriting. And pure UX jobs are usually reserved for more senior folks who started doing both ends of the spectrum, UX and UI.

        I don’t want to discourage you, but I do think you should start including “UX Writing” / “UX Writer” in your search terms before making a big pivot. Good luck!

      2. goofBall*

        Note: I added a response about UX writing jobs below, check out the thread with commenter Andi for additional UX writing tips

    5. Andi*

      I’ve been trying to break into UX writing for the past year, but the market seems so rough right now. I have over a decade of experience in writing / editing / translation / language, and for the past two years I’ve been doing the UX writing for my company, although that’s not my primary job. I’ve also taken a lot of classes in UX, work well in Adobe and Figma, use Azure and Jira like a pro, and got Google certified in UX. But I can’t seem to get anyone to even look at my resume. I know there is so much competition right now, and it’s tough for everyone. But maybe you know something I’m overlooking as far as getting companies to see me as a valuable add? Thanks so much for answering.

      1. goofBall*

        Hey there, you’re right that the market is rough right now for those looking to break in. UX design has gotten really saturated in the past couple years. Here are some tips:

        1. You absolutely need to have a portfolio showcasing your work. This is more important than a resume. I’m more well versed in what a product design portfolio format should include, but I’m sure you could Google around for some medium articles with tips from experienced UX writers.

        Go to LinkedIn, search for companies who writing you respect, find the writers working on those teams, and look at their portfolios. They should be linked on their LinkedIn, but a google search of “Firstname Lastname” + “UX writing” should do the trick. Use these as inspiration for your own portfolio.

        Setting up your portfolio is the most time consuming part of applying for jobs, but it really is essential. If making a website feels too intimidating, consider using Notion (notion.so).

        2. Look outside if LinkedIn and Indeed for job opportunties. Don’t go for the big guys, instead build up your experience with smaller companies and startups. Check out builtin.com and wellfound.com

        1. Andi*

          This is absolutely fantastic. You’ve given me just the boost I needed to keep looking – thank you so much!

  60. Information Governance/Records Management*

    Happy to answer any burning questions you have about information governance and records management!

    Let me preempt one I get regularly – no, the retention period for tax records is not necessarily 7 years, nor is that the retention period for all other types of records.

    1. Lab Boss*

      Very specifically: How long should I be keeping the carbon copies from my checks? I don’t have business expenses and have never had a complicated enough tax return to itemize anything. I can (in theory) get electronic scans from the bank if I need to, although I’m not sure how far back that goes. I’ve got a shoebox full of check records for things like utility and credit card bills, mortgage payments, etc. dating back over a decade that I’m just vaguely afraid to deal with.

      1. Information Governance/Records Management*

        I’m an information governance professional, but not your information governance professional, so note that this is only general advice and not specific to your situation. I assume that you are keeping these for “tax purposes.” There is no federal legal requirement for the retention of tax records. When auditing, the IRS may go back 3 years or longer if they uncover major issues, but typically not more than 6 years. This information is from the IRS website; Google “how long does the IRS have to audit you” and the top result should be from the IRS website saying more or less what I’ve written here. That’s were the 7 years myth comes from – the IRS “may” go back 6 years, your tax return is filed for the year before the current year (i.e., 2023 taxes are filled in 2024) so keep them for 7 years. If you feel you are low risk for audit, you may choose to dispose of records sooner than 6 years; if you feel you are at high risk for audit, you may choose to keep them for longer than 6 years. It’s a personal risk assessment. Also be aware that there may be state tax laws that come into play, which will vary.

        This is one of the interesting and maddening things about records retention. Laws and regulations may not tell you exactly how long you need to keep records. The IRS doesn’t require you to keep your tax returns at all (there’s no law on it). And many of the cases that the law prescribes a retention period, it often says you must keep records for at least X number of years, which is not the same as dictating you when you should dispose of the records. In the case of tax records, even though you aren’t explicitly required to keep your returns, you may want to keep them for a period of time in case of audit. Or a corporation may keep product complaint records longer than strictly required by law because the statute of limitations on criminal or civil actions is longer, and therefore the company wants to keep the records in case it needs to defend itself against lawsuits. Retention is a combination of laws and regulations (including those requiring minimization of personal data), business needs, and evaluating risks of keeping or not keeping records.

    2. Pterodactyls are under-cited in the psychological literature*

      Ok, then how would you recommend deciding when things are old enough to go away? So many papers in my house! I can decide about personal-only stuff but what about legal/financial etc? Thanks for offering your expertise!

      1. Information Governance/Records Management*

        I wish I had an easy answer for you! As I tried to explain in my answer to the previous question, it can come down to personal risk assessment. For most personal records, even financial ones, there aren’t laws requiring you to keep them. But, you want to keep them for reasons like being able to prove you paid something or closed an account, or document your income or stock sales/purchases for tax purposes. Some of those types of things you can verify and destroy in a relatively short period of time, like utility bills, assuming you don’t need them for tax purposes. Other things, like legal documents that assert rights, you may need to keep more or less permanently. Think of why you might need the documents, the likelihood you will need them, and the possible consequences of not having them, as a starting point to determine how long you are comfortable keeping them before disposing of them. But, don’t jump to the worse case scenario or assign a high likelihood of something terrible happening if you don’t have the documents. Keeping something “just in case” when risk and consequences are low just doesn’t make sense for most people.

    3. Margaret Cavendish*

      Fellow records manager chiming in here – I was going to offer the same! And also the same advice that not everything needs to be 7 years. :)

      1. Information Governance/Records Management*

        Solidarity! If I had a dollar for every time someone told me they knew they had to keep something for 7 years I would have enough for a nice vacation overseas.

    4. Rosin and Roses*

      Ooh me! I have a question! Is it possible to transition into this field without a specific degree? I have *some* archives training at a university level but not an MLIS and I work in something archive adjacent but am looking for something that pays a bit better and has more room for advancement (feel free to tell me if those things don’t apply here.) I’ve noticed a few records management jobs in my search and am intrigued but am not really sure if I’m qualified or could make a case for myself.

  61. Margaret Cavendish*

    Advanced people management question:

    I need to explain to a direct report why I can tell him that his behaviour (in a meeting) was inappropriate, but he can’t say the same to me. If he has concerns about the way I’m treating him, that’s legit and I want to hear about them, but for him to literally say to his manager “your behaviour was inappropriate” is…well, that’s also inappropriate.

    I need to reinforce the message that I am his boss, ideally without saying the words “insubordination.” ;) Something to the effect of he is only responsible for his own behaviour, but I’m responsible for the entire team?

      1. Margaret Cavendish*

        He started off by telling the entire team (including my boss) that a policy I had written was “illegal.” Then – raised voice, banging on the table, pointing, leaning forward out of his seat. And my behaviour that he’s referring to is that I interrupted him – which I did, I’m not saying it was my best moment either.

        The meeting was on Friday, and I tried to talk to him on Monday – that’s when he said that (a) he wasn’t doing any of those things, and (b) if he was, it was in response to my “inappropriate” behaviour. This next conversation is going to be “we’re both professionals, we can handle this like adults” – but I do need to reinforce that I’m his boss, and he really can’t talk to me like that. I’m okay with apologizing for interrupting, and committing to hearing him out etc, it’s just this one specific part of the message that I’m struggling with.

        (Additional context, this isn’t the first time he has behaved like this, nor the first time he has talked like this to me. So I’m not basing the conversation off this one example – it’s definitely a pattern. Possibly gender-based, but I think more likely related to the fact that he applied for this job as an internal candidate, and I applied as an external, and he believes he’s more qualified than I am.)

        1. HSE Compliance*

          I disagree that you interrupting his disruptive behavior was inappropriate. Someone in a meeting raising their voice, banging on the table etc. should be interrupted.

        2. Claire*

          Ooof! You’re probably going to need to address his insubordination head on. Because that’s what this is.

          “Phinneas, I was not being inappropriate. I am the [manager of the quilting department] and I have the authority to take these actions. While I am always open to discussing why decisions were made or why actions were taken, I need you to accept that those things are within my purview as manager.”

          If he starts denying things that happened: “Phinneas, I am not going to argue with you about this. Whether or not you perceived your behaviour as inappropriate, I am telling you, as your manager, that it was and you cannot act that way in meetings going forward”

          Don’t get dragged into litigating whether or not that is considered “yelling.” You have the authority to tell him it was and he cannot behave that way.

        3. ccsquared*

          If you have a trusted HR point person or a good manager yourself, I would loop them in on this ASAP for awareness and advice; you can say that you plan to speak with the employee yourself but that you want to give them the heads up in case there is any backlash from the employee after that conversation. Also, if you haven’t yet documented these interactions, do that immediately and keep doing it going forward.

          I’m hoping for your sake that a frank “this can’t keep happening” convo between you and your employee solves the issue, but I’m seeing enough red flags here that would make me want to take steps to protect myself/the company in case he decides to double down or escalate this behavior. It’s also possible (or likely) you’re not the first manager who’s dealt with this, which is something a convo with HR or your manager might surface.

    2. Shirley B*

      Respectfully disagree! I think a direct report should be able to flag to their manager if they feel their behavior is inappropriate. That’s assuming “inappropriate” means potentially harmful, e.g. relating to harassment or emotional wellbeing. If he’s trying to flag what he sees as, e.g., an ineffective business strategy and getting it wrong, you can explain that as a more junior team member he doesn’t have the appropriate context to make that judgment call (if that’s the case).

      1. Margaret Cavendish*

        Yeah, this is what I’m struggling with. If he has concerns about me, he should definitely raise them – that’s not the behaviour I’m trying to shut down.

        The thing is I don’t think he gets that you can’t talk to your boss the same way you talk to a colleague. We’re not a super hierarchical organization, but at the end of the day I do have a certain amount of authority over him that he doesn’t have over me. It’s something I kind of get intuitively, so I’m having trouble explaining it to someone who doesn’t.

        1. Jack Russell Terrier*

          It seems to me he doesn’t get how to communicate conflict in general. He shouts, bangs on the table in a meeting *and* calls you inappropriate. Is this generally how he address issues with everyone? I’m not sure if this helps, but I might consider addressing this as a global communication issue, that he can’t shout at people and use inflammatory language, especially with his boss.

          PS – this is isn’t a situation where he might feel management/someone is trying to railroad through something illegal and is at the end of his tether.

          1. Jack Russell Terrier*

            Just saw what Claire wrote – this is the sort of thing I’m talking about

          2. Margaret Cavendish*

            Thanks! And yes, the policy is definitely not illegal – he doesn’t like it, but I promise it’s perfectly legal and ordinary. :)

          3. ccsquared*

            Does this guy think peers talk to each other by shouting, banging on tables and accusing each other of malfeasance? I’ve definitely been in passionate debates about strategy at work, but there’s a big difference between someone speaking emphatically and loudly about an idea, and attacking or intimidating other people in the conversation. The former is very much dependent on team and organizational culture, but pretty much every time I’ve seen someone exhibit the latter behavior, it’s made things really awkward because most people recognize it as rude and inappropriate.

        2. M2*

          I manage a lot of people. I am the head of multiple divisions/departments and have lots of people who work on my teams. I never think I have “authority” over anyone. I manage them, collaborate with them. We are a team. Do we disagree over things? Yes! But we discuss and come up with solutions. Have there been people who constantly push back, are disrespectful or don’t do their work? Yes, but as a manager you handle by the book and respectfully. Try and figure out the root issues. Get HR involved if you need to.

          You also should never disrespect anyone whether they are your boss, grand boss, work on your team, or are a colleague. If something does happen, apologize and don’t do it again. I had someone on my team scream in a meeting. I took them aside to ask what was going on and was told someone in their family had medical issues/were a caregiver/ exhausted. I helped them take much needed time off/ file for FMLA if needed/ and distribute their work so when they returned it didn’t all pile up.

          If someone on my team disagrees with how I handled something or how something is done, I listen to them. People have good ideas! Sometimes they are used and sometimes we do what was originally planned. I think part of being a great manager is just listening to those who work on your team.

          From what you wrote, the person is in the wrong. Interrupting is not ok either. I am concerned about the “authority” part. Listening to colleagues and people on your team is important and throwing around the boss card never gets you any points. People are adults. Treat them like adults.

          1. Margaret Cavendish*

            Thanks! I don’t want to lean too hard on the authority part, that’s not quite what I mean, but I’m having trouble expressing myself otherwise. It’s really about – sometimes I have to give direction that he doesn’t like or doesn’t agree with, and we have to talk about it respectfully. And as his manager, I need to be able to manage him – he doesn’t have the (responsibility, authority?) to manage me in the same way.

            Something like that, anyway. I appreciate all your help!

        3. Molly the cat*

          It seems potentially generous to say he doesn’t “understand”. You’re twisting yourself into knots trying to figure out how to diplomatically explain why his disrespectful behavior towards you was bad.

          You might be better off just pulling rank–you’re his manager, and he isn’t the authority who you have to convince of the rightness of your decisions.

          1. Margaret Cavendish*

            Ha! Yes, this is the exact problem – how to pull rank without pulling rank. As tempting as it is to flip tables and tell him he has to listen to me, it turns out I’m not actually allowed to do that!

            I’ve been talking to my director about him as well, and we’ve settled on this:

            Because of our respective roles, I participate in conversations that you’re not part of, and I make compromises and decisions based on some of these conversations. I value your input, but I also need to be clear that the final decision is mine.

    3. Claire*

      People manager here with some experience managing some big egos:
      Based on your response to another question in this thread, I would consider this Big Deal Behaviour that requires a Big Deal conversation.

      “Phinneas, we need to talk about what happened in the meeting last week. You cannot raise your voice and slam your fist on the table in meetings. That is not an appropriate way to communicate at work. We value your input and are open to hearing your feedback but you need to remain calm. If you can’t do that, it’s fine to take some time to calm down and bring it to my attention later.”

      If he starts talking about how you were being “inappropriate” for interrupting him, I’d respond with, “It is my purview as a manager to interrupt a meeting to steer it in the right direction. I know that sometimes that can be frustrating and I’m open to talking about it later one-on-one but I will sometimes manage meetings so we accomplish the things we need to. You are always welcome to debrief with me one-on-one if you’d like to understand why I steered things one way or the other.”

      If this is a pattern, I’d be ready to point that out and be clear that if it continues there will be consequences.

      Sorry you’re having to manage this person, this sort of stuff is never fun.

      1. Mad Harry Crewe*

        This is great language. You’ve addressed both points (his behavior, his opinion of the manager’s behavior) and identified why one was inappropriate and the other was not. You’ve also given him an alternate path to resolution for both (talk to me 1:1).

        1. Margaret Cavendish*

          Yes, thank you! We had The Talk this afternoon, and it went as well as could be expected. I’m saving this thread for next time I need it, probably in six months or so…

    4. Zona the Great*

      I’ve told 2 or 3 bosses that their behavior was unacceptable. Once was in front of a group in a meeting. Boss dogged me out hard in a personal way and I demanded an apology and a confirmation that that would never happen again. She apologized both in the moment and again after the fact when she really had a chance to reflect. The other examples were being disrespected on a human level.

      What your direct report did is pretty concerning, though. I would have not only interrupted but also asked him to leave the meeting and then apologize to those who had to witness this in a work place. Hearing someone yell and pound on the table would really really upset me.

      1. Plate of Wings*

        Yup, exactly, I would probably freeze up for the rest of the meeting if someone yelled and pounded the table during a work meeting. Actually the fists on tables alone would probably do it for me!

        Maybe it’s because I don’t work in a big egos and high stakes industry, I love this blog because I have work struggles too and it’s interesting to read about others.

        The personal cuts from your boss sound really inappropriate, it’s just so frustrating when people go low like that.

  62. Allura Vysoren*

    I’m not a published author (yet), but I am deeply entrenched in both indie and trad publishing and worked for four years as a copyeditor/proofreader for a small press.

    1. badger*

      How do you recommend getting more experience as a first reader/editor? How to find people to take you on etc

      1. Spacewoman Spiff*

        I’m not sure if this is what you’re thinking, but small literary magazines are often looking for volunteer first-round readers. Places like Story Magazine, The Adroit Journal, Electric Lit, etc., often have open applications. I applied for and got a reader position with Adroit years ago, which then helped me move up the chain to other (unpaid) editorial positions with other magazines, where I was managing first readers and making the final editorial decisions. If you’re talking paid work, that I don’t know anything about…love the economics of the publishing world. :(

        1. Minimal Pear*

          I’m in the process of joining a magazine as a reader–they bought one of my stories and then later asked a group of their authors if anyone wanted to become a reader. It does mean I can’t publish with this magazine again unless I quit.

      2. Allura Vysoren*

        Things are very different now than when I was working–mostly for the worse. My advice is to keep on the look out for opportunities: Look at bookjobs.com, follow the social media of anyone you might like to work for, and remember that there are a LOT of people who want to work in publishing and very few slots.

        Unless you’re asking for advice on how to freelance.

      1. Allura Vysoren*

        The bottom line is there’s also so much *you* can do. You can leave a review on sites like Goodreads or TheStoryGraph and recommend it to people who might like it, but at the end of the day it’s the author’s marketing that has to stand on its own.

    3. Bunny Girl*

      What do you think the benefits are in self-publishing versus trying to find a traditional publisher? I have a novel that I’m hoping to finish up this year and I’m debating on whether or not to self-publishing versus trying to find an agent and going the traditional route. Obviously one will take much longer than the other lol.

      1. penguin-editor*

        I am not OP, but I have a couple years in self-publishing on the copyediting side (as well as 10+ years in traditional, but mostly scholarly, publishing) under my belt, so I figured I’d chime in here.

        I don’t want to sound like a downer, but the biggest difference is quality. Unfortunately, self-publishing in the age of Kindle Unlimited means that your book has a high likelihood of being lost in the massive amounts of books being self-published these days. If you have had a fair number of beta readers (friends but also strangers) and all of them exclaim at how captivating your book is, how it needs to be in print tomorrow, you should find an agent. It’s harsh, but if their reaction is more measured, self-publishing might be the way to go. This is not to say that all self-published books aren’t good, but lots of people publish on Amazon without even a copyeditor… and it’s very obvious to an alert reader.

        If you really want to just get your story out there, and have accomplished the entirety of writing a book start to finish as personal accomplishment, self-publishing is a great avenue towards that. And they’re not all bad!

        Fiction is notoriously hard to break into. Often times I advise my authors to give it a few years of querying, at a minimum, before you consider self-publishing. (However that advice differs if, for example, you have a strong social media following, and you know that your followers will buy your book and spread it word-of-mouth.)

        Hope that helps :)

        1. WellRed*

          I agree with this. The few times I inadvertently tried to read self published fiction, it was not good. The font was too large, the editing was poor and the writing frankly wasn’t great. I won’t even consider paying for something self published now. There’s a literary agent who posted below. Maybe they can offer some good advice!

      2. Allura Vysoren*

        Oh boy do I have Thoughts on this.

        The short version is: The benefits depend on what you want to get out of it.

        Traditional publishing comes with distribution to brick and mortar bookstores, as well as libraries. There’s a reason why YA and MG are harder to self-pub than adult fiction and it’s because trad pub is the way to go if you want to get into school libraries. Period. Trad pub also means that someone else is handling the editing, cover design, formatting, typography, marketing (to a point), and printing.

        Trad pub is also not a business for everyone. It’s horribly difficult to break into. There’s rejection at every level–from agents, from editors, from readers. I’ve been querying since 2008 and I’ve never had an agent. Some writers get an agent and then their books don’t sell to a publisher. Some writers sell a book and then the publisher goes bankrupt. Some writers sell a book and then it doesn’t sell well enough for them to be able to get another deal. Some writers burn out because writing is a lot of work and it’s rarely for decent pay.

        Then there’s self-publishing. It used to carry a stigma that all self-published books are poorly written and that’s very rapidly becoming BS. Self-pub has freedom because you aren’t beholden to the wants of agents and acquisition teams–but you ARE beholden to readers. And you have to be a one-person publishing team unless you have the money to hire people to help you. A lot of people are attracted to that. A lot of people don’t have the time, energy, or money for that.

        Neither path is inherently “better” than the other one. It’s about your goals as an author and what you’re willing to do for your books. I’m currently planning out a career as a hybrid author, meaning I would be doing both at the same time with different books and under different pen names.

    4. Honor Harrington*

      If I wanted to find an editor to edit a book before I self publish, how would I find a good one? What sort of questions should you ask and skills should you look for? Grammer skills seem easy, but the ability to figure out how to make a mediocre book better seems a lot harder.

      1. Allura Vysoren*

        Reedsy is popular but expensive. I’ve heard people have had luck with Fiverr but frankly trying to gauge people’s expertise on there seems exhausting to me.

        Honestly, I think one of the best routes is to look at self-published books in your genre and check to see if they’ve credited an editor on the copyright page. If you’re having trouble finding editors in books you’ve read, you can use Amazon’s Look Inside feature to back up to the copyright page.

        1. penguin-editor*

          Reedsy *is* expensive on the author front, but it’s the only one out there that actually vets the people it lets on their site to present themselves as freelancers. You have to have traditional publishing experience to get through the onboarding (i.e. editing for a vanity/subsidy press doesn’t even count), with books in the world attached to your name and work, and they do actual personal onboarding/training; I may or may not know from personal experience. ;)

      2. Andi*

        I would look at the editorial guilds in your country. In the US, this is the Editorial Freelancers Association / EFA, or American Copyeditors Society / ACES. In Canada I would seek out EdsCanada, and in the UK it’s CIEP.

        Any of those groups will have a free job board you can post to. While you will still have to screen your applicants from the guild a bit to find the right fit, anyone who makes the effort to be involved with their association is going to at least be familiar with the standards, conventions, and best practices of their field. Head and shoulders above all the random people who think they can edit and make a buck off it because they got through high school English or whatever.

    5. Trina*

      This may or may not be your niche of publishing, but: children’s non-fiction. I know from Bernadette Banner’s sharing of writing her own book that adult non-fic books can (at least sometimes?) be pitched as more of a topic and outline than as a finished manuscript. Does kids’ non-fic ever work the same way? There’s a topic that’s near and dear to my heart that, as far as I can tell, has no books on it whatsoever, and I’m curious if I would be able to reach out to a publisher before having a full book put together.

      1. Allura Vysoren*

        I know very little about non-fic in general, but it’s called selling on proposal. The best way to know for sure, though, is to research agents that rep children’s non-fiction and publishers that accept unagented submissions. Look at their guidelines, see what they ask for, and that’ll tell you what you need to pursue publication.

        Keep in mind that selling fiction is selling a book. Selling non-fiction is selling *your expertise.* It’s important to be able to explain why you’re the person who should be writing this book.

  63. I edit everything*

    I know where that comma goes, how to properly use a semi-colon, and how to structure a story. Happy to help! I promise I won’t critique your grammar in your question unless you ask me to.

    1. Ruby Soho*

      Omg! I’m so serious about commas, semi-colons, etc. It drives me nuts when people don’t seem to know how to use them! So, I really love this post! lol
      Have you noticed Microsoft products telling you it’s best to remove the comma before “but”? AGHHH!! What?? No!!!!
      And I will never stop using the Oxford comma.

    2. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      I write fanfic and am embarrassed to say I have zero idea on any punctuation – I use dashes and brackets (when I can work them in) way more than I probably should.

      Are semicolons a speech thing or a description thing? Basically would I use them in descriptive parts of the text or during dialogue?

      (And I got an A in English – but I still don’t know what a noun is)

      1. I edit everything*

        For parts of speech, go find the old Schoolhouse Rock videos. They are spot on and fun.

        A semicolon is a wimpy period. You’d use it between two sections of a sentence that could stand alone as individual sentences, but you want to indicate a close relationship. They do tend to come up more often in narrative than in dialogue. Most people don’t speak semicolons, and I think it looks weird to have one in a line of dialogue, unless someone is a very formal speaker. I’d tend to use an em-dash in dialogue where in formal writing, a semicolon would be appropriate.

        Jane spent the morning watching B. Dylan Hollis videos; his whacky antics helped her forget about the pending alien invasion.

        “I just love B. Dylan Hollis videos–he’s so whacky!”

        “B. Dylan Hollis videos are a waste of time; there’s no place for whacky antics in the kitchen.”

        1. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

          You are very, very good. That explanation made things crystal clear in a way that years of schooling didn’t. Wish you’d been advising me in 1990 :)

      2. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        I’m not the person you asked (obviously!) but this is also my niche, so I’ll take a stab at an answer, and I Edit Everything can add affirm, contradict, or expand if they wish.

        Semicolons can be used in either of the situations you describe, as long as they are grammatically appropriate(*) and fit the circumstances and the voice.

        If you use semicolons in writing a character’s spoken dialogue (or internal monologue, or even the narrative/descriptive parts of the story if if it’s in a first person or tight third-person-limited POV), the character should be the kind of person who speaks deliberately, in carefully-constructed complex sentences, and has a solid understanding of grammar themself. Most people *don’t* think or speak with idealized ‘proper’ grammar. We use comma splices, sentence fragments, run-ons; we ramble and natter, change tense and person mid sentence, and start talking only to interrupt ourselves or be interrupted by others or the unfolding of events.
        So the kind of careful, deliberate speech and writing that calls for semicolons tends to sound stilted, unnatural, or out of character for all but a few Vulcans, wizards, scientists, lawyers, philosophers, stuffy traditionalists, strict taskmasters, and so on.

        Feel free to use them elsewhere, just bear in mind that may land badly with your readers.

        (*)The 2 main grammatical uses of semicolons are:
        1. To separate items listed in series, when the items already contain commas so that separating them with commas as usual would be confusing. Example: A list of cities can be separated by commas: Panama City, Bristol, Cairo. A list of cities and their countries contains a comma in each item, so the items must be separated by semicolons: Panama City, Panama; Panama City, FL, USA; Bristol, UK; Bristol, FL, USA; Cairo, Egypt; Cairo, FL, USA. (Florida, USA has a lot of copycat cities.) This use is uncommon outside nonfiction writing.
        2. To join two independent clauses (clauses which could each stand alone as a complete, grammatical sentence) while implying a connection between them. This use of semicolon has a similar weight and function to a comma-plus-conjunction (and, but, or, nor, so, therefore, because, and so on), but where the conjunction shows exactly what kind of connection the writer intends, the semicolon doesn’t specify what kind. It just tells the reader: I want you to know these things are related; I trust you to see the connection. Example: “I use a whole lot of half-assed semicolons; there was one of them just now; that was a semicolon after “semicolons,” and another one after “now.” [Ursula K. LeGuin, from The Wave in the Mind: Talks and Essays on the Writer, the Reader and the Imagination]
        If you’re revising writing using semicolons in way #2 and in doubt whether the semicolon is a good choice, you can try replacing it with a full stop/sentence break, or with a comman-and-conjunction, and see if one of those gives more of the feel you want.

        Write on!

      1. I edit everything*

        I use it by default. It’s my preference–it means I don’t have to stop and analyze “should I or shouldn’t I?” every time I have a series. But it’s not a hard and fast rule, and if an author or a publisher’s style guide wants to only use it when necessary, I’m OK with that.

        A lot of supposed “rules” in grammar are squishier than people think. Clarity is the ultimate rule, really. If adding or removing a comma makes something easier for the reader to understand, then do that.

    4. Lab Boss*

      Is it true that the first semi-colon was actually just a typesetting error, and all the rules around its use have just been an elaborate practical joke?

      1. I edit everything*

        LOL. I have never heard that, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Someone who knows more than me about old letterpress printing, where type was set by hand, will have to comment.

    5. Jack Russell Terrier*

      I could write a thesis on the death of the adverb.

      And what is it with people always laying down all the time these days . It’s so peculiar how suddenly the wrong tense etc takes off.

        1. Jack Russell Terrier*

          Ha! So true!

          I teach yoga and whereas every teacher used to say ‘come to lie down’ now they say ‘come to lay down’. So that has really brought it to my attention!!

      2. Finn*

        What would be the right way to talk about people [apparently not laying] down?
        If I remember correctly my vocabulary book translated “to lie” and “to lay” with the same word so I’m not entirely sure where the difference is… Or is it a case of “same word, usually used in different places”?

        1. Janne*

          You lay *something* down.

          You lie down. (Then it’s yourself that lies.)

          In linguistics, it’s called transitivity. Some verbs have an object with them. Some verbs never have an object. And others are fine with and without.

          Examples:
          Never an object: to sit, to fall, to laugh (try it! can you sit something/someone? can someone sit you?)
          Sometimes an object: to walk (“She walked” is alright by itself, “She walked the dog” is also normal)
          Always an object: to throw, to injure (for these verbs, “What did he throw?” is a normal question to ask. Compare to “What did he laugh?” which is nonsense)

    6. Finn*

      Do you know a good collection of english comma, sentence structure, etc. rules? If you ever are unsure about a rule, where do you look?
      I learnt english as my second language, and sometimes it’s difficult to remember all the rules, especially when I’m writing a more official text or so that needs to have a correct grammar. (And, I don’t trust my english schoolbook anymore after discovering it contains some rather obviously false information.)

      1. I edit everything*

        A lot of people love “Dreyer’s English,” though I haven’t used it, because it is more formal than the romance novels I typically edit (so it might be perfect for you). I generally turn to the Chicago Manual of Style, which is widely seen as the standard. You can get a free trial subscription to the online version and see if it’s useful for you. Also online, Grammar Girl is reliable and more accessible than the sometimes-technical approach taken by CMOS.

  64. Ruby Soho*

    How can I learn to speak more professionally? I feel like all of my colleagues are speaking some secret language that I can’t learn. I’m well-spoken (and very serious about grammar lol), but not in the same way as them. Sometimes people like my more casual language, but I’d really love to be able to sound more professional. It’s like there are buzz words that I just never think to use.

    1. Cheezmouser*

      Pick one person whose speaking style you like and try to learn from them, either directly by asking for mentorship or indirectly by observing them in meetings/presentations and noticing how they deliver their tone, phrasing, etc. Try to pick up the parts that work for you as you figure out your own style.

      (I’m not an expert but this is the advice I received from my leadership coach)

      1. Claire*

        This is great advice! Think of it as trying to mirror the tone and volume the person you’re talking to is using. Even if you don’t have the actual words themselves right, mirroring tone and volume can go a long way.

        I do a lot of code switching in my job where I go from talking to industry professionals to farmers. When in the office, I am corporate speak Barbie but if I’m out on a farm visit, you betcha my more rural accent comes out.

        People are comfortable with people who are familiar so mirroring their tone and speech patterns helps. If I’m meeting with clients that are casual and use a lot of colloquial phrases, I’ll match that. If I’m with more buttoned up clients, I will limit my use of contractions and make sure I’m not dropping the ends of words.

    3. Esme_Weatherwax*

      My first advice is: don’t try to force buzz words and jargon. People who are intentionally making their language more complex may come across as though they are insecure, and if you use technical language incorrectly, it can do a lot of damage to your credibility.

      If you are hearing the same technical term over and over among your colleagues, and you aren’t sure what it means, ask one of them to explain what it means to you. And note the next several times that you read or hear it to see if you can understand the nuances before you try using it yourself. But if they are just people who like to use “leverage” or “utilize” instead of “use”, know that there is nothing wrong with straightforward language.

      1. Ali + Nino*

        I agree with both of these points. I would also add that if you can think before you speak, slow down in conversations or meetings so you can process, it might help you to be more precise in your expression.

    4. TX_Trucker*

      I recommend the book: Weekend Language: Presenting with More Stories and Less PowerPoint by Andy Craig and Dave Yewman. Being professional is not about jargon or about good grammar. It’s about sharing your viewpoint.

    5. city comms*

      In my experience, sounding “professional” is less about the specific language you use and more about the general approach/framing. The purpose of corporate-speak is to give us all a set of pre-established scripts* to apply like a multiple-choice test that will result in the least emotionally charged phrasing possible.
      You might have better luck forgetting all about buzz words, and trying to think about things like: does this phrasing sound like I’m overly emotionally invested? Is there a more neutral way to say this? The goal is to be as bland and unobjectionable as possible while still conveying the key information. “What’s the timeline on this?” is a totally acceptable question to ask in all circumstances; “is this going to take long?” or “do you even have a plan?” might be what you MEAN, but it’s less likely to go down well.

      *Obviously this is a problem when people don’t have the opportunity to be exposed to the same scripts, but it’s still worth understanding that there is an actual purpose/function to “just circling back” and “put a pin in it!”

  65. AnonAdmin*

    Need some PowerPoint advice for poster printing. We currently are using it for 30 x 36 posters. I need to know if there is an easy way to import other formats that won’t corrupt the formatting/graphics – and if you could point me to a good source of actually learning PowerPoint I would be appreciative.

    1. just here for the scripts*

      Making it a pdf will lock down the formatting (literally stands for portable document format—over time the P has been assigned “permanent” or “printed” because it basically locks down your formatting

      1. ArtsNerd*

        Hit submit too soon. I’m a designer and haven’t touched powerpoint in years. I recommend playing around with Canva to see if that is easier for you to use!

        1. AnonAdmin*

          I am going to start working on learning that – we’ve been using PowerPoint due to trying to get everyone to use the same format. Just wish I could get them to send in the same size…

    3. A Genuine Scientician*

      Fundamentally, if you are going to import graphics, make sure that they are vector graphics files (.pdf is one such format). You want something that’s vector graphics so that it will rescale properly if you adjust the size, and not be locked into a lower resolution that becomes obvious when you make it larger on a poster.

    4. A Genuine Scientician*

      I’m an academic scientist who has won awards in both teaching and in presenting material. I’m happy to answer questions about how to effectively convey information, tips for presentations to increase how much the audience retains, general public speaking advice, how to gear your presentation for the right level for your audience, etc.

    5. Sarah in Boston*

      I also really like the Affinity suite. It’s not subscription based like Adobe and has a layout app, a vector app, and a bitmap app. I use it to to do the graphic design (including 24 x 36 sandwich board posters) for my choir.

      1. AnonAdmin*

        Am a fan of Affinity myself – is what me and the significant other use at home.

        Being as we’re working with a large group for the posters it probably wouldn’t be an option (licensing issue)

    6. Zephy*

      Microsoft Publisher might be a better software solution if you’re trying to make posters for printing, as opposed to slideshow presentations. If you’re already in the MS ecosystem, it may be possible to get access to Publisher as part of your MS Office suite, check with your IT department.

  66. The Cosmic Avenger*

    I love making spreadsheets. (I know I’m not alone!) Specifically, financial spreadsheets with functions, like a list of medical expenses since we started our Health Savings Account, the total expenses, and (for future use), how much and which expenses were withdrawn from the HSA. I also have one that shows the various coverage limits for my long term care insurance, starting with the initial coverage, and it calculates what it is now based on the added 5% yearly inflation protection. I also made one that imports an export of our county’s alcoholic beverage service price list, and automatically calculates the price per liter for comparison, and can be filtered for sale prices, and sales items sorted by % discount.

    1. Margaret Cavendish*

      I also love making spreadsheets! But I do not understand pivot tables. Can you explain them to me in very small words?

      2. The Cosmic Avenger*

        I’m getting OK at them; to me, the confusion is the “pivot” part! I kept thinking the data is reoriented on an axis or something. It’s really more telling Excel, “Take this sheet, and summarize the contents on another sheet”. For example, I have one that is a list of exported individual analytics events, which is then summarized by a pivot table, then a second table converts the sums into ratios.

        For another, I exported all broken links that originated from PDFs, then created a pivot table based on it that summarized how many broken links each PDF has, so we can prioritize the ones that need the most work. (It’s a collection of thousands.)

        1. Margaret Cavendish*

          >>I kept thinking the data is reoriented on an axis or something. It’s really more telling Excel, “Take this sheet, and summarize the contents on another sheet”.

          Yes, this! Thank you so much, it’s exactly the explanation I needed.

  67. Medium Sized Manager*

    Happy to lend a hand with process or program improvement/management and how to break down information in a way that’s easy to digest

    1. Sapientia*

      What’s your preferred way of documenting a process? I am currently trying to understand a rather complicated process with many involved actors with the purpose of then consulting how to digitise parts of it. I’d love to create both an overview of it and to find a way to note all the details that I’ve learned so they are not forgotten.
      Would you recommend using certain diagrams or formats like BPMN for the overview and then having a separate text that describes the details? Or how would you go about it?

      1. Medium Sized Manager*

        My first rule of thumb is to not be afraid of a first draft. Your first attempt will be difficult to follow and frustrating, and that is completely normal! Whenever I teach this to somebody new, their biggest fear is that they will be bad at it, but technical writing is a skill that must be practiced. Your goal is to be detailed with information but concise with explanation.

        We use an internal template that breaks it down by audience: teapot sales and teapot makers overlap, but their individual roles and scope of work do not. Starting with this can be helpful in building an outline: what is the high-level overview? What are things only sales need to know? From there, you can build out sections. Ideally, people can go straight to the part that affects them because it’s really easy to get overwhelmed with a wall of text that comes with a detailed process.

        I am a huge fan of tables/flow charts/examples. If you want something documented a certain way, don’t just say “enter the relevant information.” Define what is relevant and show examples that pertain to their scope of work. “Enter the invoice number, person purchasing, and the quote” with a screenshot example.

        We also link to other process documents if it’s really detailed so it’s easier to consume. Example: teapot orders from Canada follow a different process. See [Process Name] for details. That way, if the Canadian teapot process changes, you only have to update it in one location, you don’t overwhelm your existing process document, AND your reader knows exactly how to solve their problem.

        If there are specific tips you have learned, enter them as part of the instructions. “Access the report through X system. If you can’t access the system, reach out to Y person. If you get this error, follow these steps.”

        Peer review will also be your friend: I typically have somebody who knows the process and somebody who doesn’t. So, for example, once sales review their piece for accuracy, I recommend having the makers review the sales section – this will give you a good perspective on questions a brand-new employee might have but not know to ask.

        Be strategic in your review – these are activities that take time and thought. I like to do mine first thing in the morning before the day gets hectic so I have a fresh brain and am not distracted. I often leave notes for myself too – “Don’t like this phrasing – trying to solve the issue of makers missing custom requests.” If I can’t solve it after looking at it on two separate days, then talk it out with other people.

        I feel like this is equally a lot of information and not enough, so ending it here but happy to expand on anything!

        1. Sapientia*

          Thank you so much for taking the time to answer in so much detail! There are a ton of tips in here that I am going to digest and hopefully try out soon.

        2. ccsquared*

          I feel like I got more out of this comment than an 8 week intro to BPM course. Thanks!

  68. Stochastic*

    I’m a data architect – ask me anything about Power BI, SQL, or data warehousing! (Oddly specific, I know). I’m at work, so there might be a delay in my responding.

    1. CheesePlease*

      how did you learn PowerBI? I am self-taught and have done a lot of the microsoft trainings, but always feel like I spend 50% of my time googling when building a new report for my team

      1. Stochastic*

        Some good books to look at are: The Definitive Guide to DAX by Marco Russo and Alberto Ferrari and Mastering Microsoft Power BI by Greg Deckler and Brett Powell. Also, the Microsoft Learn modules for the PL-300 exam are a good starting point. There’s also a Power BI subreddit.

        Otherwise, lots of Googling and practice!

    2. tiny*

      I am the data-engineeringest person on the data sciences team (I think this is A Thing). I want to advance/develop, but my superpower is combining data skills with our scientific field, and a lot of the “next-step” roles (like data engineer) take me away from that and don’t exist at our company. Any thoughts? I like being efficient and supporting analytics but not really doing them myself.

      1. Stochastic*

        Not sure if you’re a Microsoft shop or use Power BI, but if you do, one intermediate step between analytics and engineering would be developing Power BI Datasets to import and model the data (using star schema) for use by those developing the analytics.

    3. Lluviata*

      Are there other good free options besides Microsoft Access for large datasets and calculations with multiple data lists? Some of the companies I’ve worked for used Access, but it was not user-friendly. A VERY important issue is that the users are experts in another field, not software people. Most of the users didnt understand Access well, so the reports and datasets weren’t maintained well and if anything broke we had a hard time fixing it. The person who created the databases and reports had moved on so that knowledge was lost. I think the answer here is to go with a paid solution so that we’d have technical support, but I wanted to check.

    1. Jane Bingley*

      How can someone who hasn’t owned a dog before set themselves up for success when it comes to adopting a dog? There’s the obvious stuff – find a vet, pet-proof your home, buy essential supplies – but are there any less obvious tips or tricks you’d give for a first-time pet owner?

      1. t-vex*

        Great question! I think the most important thing you can do is pick the right dog for your family. Breed is way less important than temperament – definitely pick a dog you like the look of, but remember every breed has some wierdo individuals that don’t fit the behavioral stereotype. That’s why I like to recommend adult dogs for first-timers, so you know what kind of personality you’re getting. Pick one that’s good around kids and other animals even if you don’t have any, because you’re going to encounter them at some point.

        Also – don’t be afraid to admit if it’s not working! Pet adoption is like speed dating. Sometimes you just don’t know until you get home and live together that it’s not a good fit. No harm, no foul – the dog got a break from the shelter, you learned more about your needs, and the shelter learned more about how the dog behaves in a home. Any good adoption agency will understand and take the dog back with no problem as long as it’s within the first couple of weeks, and let you try again.

        Last tip – learn how to read body language! Your dog is telling you all kinds of things as long as you know how to listen. There are lots of guides available but I especially like fearfreehappyhomes.com

      2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        Patience. And if you’ve never ever had a dog before, you might try fostering first, or foster-to-adopt.
        And I’ve found that puppies are a LOT more work than an adult dog.
        Make sure you tell your shelter that you’re a first-time dog owner, and see if they can recommend some dogs for you to look at first–they should have a good idea of their dogs’ temperaments.

      3. JTP*

        Don’t assume all shelters and rescues are the same. If one won’t adopt to you because you have no prior experience, or if you don’t have a fenced yard, look at other rescues and shelters.

      4. JTP*

        Also, don’t focus too much on breed (not that you mentioned it in your question, but it’s advice I think everyone should hear). All dogs are individuals.

        Be honest to yourself about your lifestyle. Don’t assume that a dog will suddenly make you more active than you currently are. Don’t adopt a high-energy dog that needs a 10-mile run to the take the edge off if you’re currently taking a 20-minute walk around the neighborhood a couple times a week.

        Also consider grooming — some dogs’ coats require frequent (expensive) grooming. Are you up for that? Able to afford that?

        Do you want an 80-lb dog that thinks he’s a lap dog, or do you prefer a dog who’s happy to have his own space?

        Can you handle a smart, driven dog who needs a job to do (and may become destructive if they don’t have that outlet), or a more laid-back dog?

      5. Siberian Husky owner*

        Don’t just “let the dog out” to do its business. Pick a designated potty area and train the dog to use that.

      6. Zona the Great*

        Intimacy. I rescued two giants from a 2-year shelter stint. I found it most overwhelming just trying to figure out what to do with them! I spent so much money on fancy things for them when I first got them. I bought massive bones that would take them a long time to chew only to find that they basically swallowed them whole and were bored again. I could barely relax. Finally, about 2 months in, we all just figured each other out. They learned my routines and I learned theirs. I regret spending all that money on silly puzzle balls and random things I thought they needed. All that was needed was an intimate connection with them and that can only be done with time.

  70. BacktoSchoolIGo*

    Ask: Is anyone a speech therapist licensed in California? I am a career public school teacher and I am hoping to enter a Speech-Language Pathology program in a year at a public university. I haven’t been in college full-time in almost 20 years. Seeking tips to making life/work manageable while going back to school, parenting, and teaching.

    I’m meeting with program advisors to map out my prerequisites at some of my local universities soon : )

    Thank you in advance to all who can share!

    1. Rainy*

      I am not an SLP, nor am I in California, but I do work in higher ed and part of what I do is partner with grad programs. I have worked closely with my institution’s SLP-MA and Au.D. programs for many years.

      Some things that I would get clarity on through your meetings: how will you combine your required clinical hours with a full-time teaching job? Do the clinics have evening/weekend hours? What are the practicum/internship requirements like for the programs you’re applying to? Will you be able to, for example, shift some of your teaching responsibilities in your current school or district to allow you to complete your practicum or internship requirements as a part of your teaching? Do any of your surrounding universities have SLP-MA programs that are structured for working teachers hoping to upskill/credential?

    2. Just a Teacher*

      You are going to have to get a Master’s in Speech/Communication Disorders which includes two full time internships and a clinical year. You will likely also need some pre-reqs related to anatomy, acoustics, phonetics, things like that.

      Have you considered a different field in education? I would recommend deaf education or early intervention. Similar path and actual job but less extra to do.

      1. CowWhisperer*

        If the OP isn’t a certified teacher currently – and took a CCC degree for undergrad – she’d have a long path to become certified in Deaf Education in California. She’d have to take a MA or MS level cert program while reaching basic fluency in ASL. That includes all the fun of student teaching which is generally unpaid (although some people working in schools can get state funded student teacher pay.)

        I’m a lapsed certified gen ed science teacher with intermediate fluency in ASL who is considering getting a D/HH endorsement through a newer program in MI that requires ASL classes equivalent to interpreter prep. The other state approved D/HH curriculum has less ASL – but has also failed at producing teachers.

        1. Just a Teacher*

          Even in California you can be d/hh without ASL fluency. I am certified in MO, IL, TX, and CA in d/hh and have never had to prove my ASL skills.

    3. SFer*

      I dont have an answer to your question, but, as parent to a public school kid in need of speech therapy services (and apparently there is a shortage of providers in California)— thank you!!!

  71. Public Speaking*

    I am a very successful public speaker (like won a bunch of awards etc) and most importantly have lots of experience training people to become great public speakers from zero experience/very low confidence. Happy to answer questions about getting better at this if you’re starting from a low or scary base!

    1. Margaret Cavendish*

      I’m here looking for this exact offer, so thank you! I’m planning on submitting a proposal to present at my industry conference in 2025. I have no problem with public speaking in general, and I give lots of presentations to my colleagues, executives, and even the Board.

      So I’m okay with the basics, but I’m wondering how to scale it up to a 40-ish minute presentation. How to figure out the right level of detail – most of my presentations are for people who don’t generally care about what I do, and they’re there either because they have to be or because they need the 10,000-foot overview. This will be my first time presenting to an audience who shares my particular niche interest, so I’m a bit worried about going overboard with ALL THE THINGS!

      1. Public Speaking*

        Ooh, a great question! With all presentations, try and think about what you’re trying to accomplish with the presentation – are you trying to inform, to inspire, for people to take specific actions etc? That will inform the tone and content of the speech massively (and help you eliminate the things you don’t genuinely need)
        Secondly, work from the “outside in”, ie write the beginning and end of your presentation first. Those are the most important parts of any public speaking, because they really stick in your audiences mind. Delivering those parts confidently and competently inform the whole tone (and give you the confidence to give an overall great speech).
        Try not to write the presentation word for word – think of the most important things you want to say, and then give a couple of “free-flowing” practices to yourself, in the mirror or the shower, untimed, just letting yourself talk off the cuff. This will make your speaking style on stage feel much more comfortable and “lived in”, because all the muscle memory will have the words to hand. It will also help you speak more slowly (most people speak too fast on stage) and help you notice when you’re veering off topic into something less important
        and, lastly, make sure you include the things that genuinely enthuse you – that will make your presentation fun and interesting to listen to and give it a personal stamp. Good luck!

    2. Awkwardness*

      Can you offer an honest opinion on toastmasters? I joined a club several months ago and do really like table topics but struggle with the prepared speeches and the type of feedback the group does/ does not provide.
      And how do you know that an idea/ topic is worth to be presented in any type of speech?

      1. Public Speaking*

        Toastmasters isn’t as common in my country, so I’m not super experienced. I find it can be a helpful place for people who really struggle with public speaking and really need the practice it takes to improve (unfortunately like a lot of things, getting really good at public speaking is ….lots and lots of practice), but if it’s not giving you the kind of public speaking and kind of feedback you like or need, it might not be worth it. I personally don’t love the sort of corporate style it encourages in people – public speaking should reflect your real style and personality and what you’re comfortable with and a great public speaker knows how to channel their own style and personality into something compelling, rather than using a set structure. I find it can make people “okay” public speakers if they’re currently quite bad but it rarely makes someone really good

    3. Warrant Officer Georgiana Breakspear-Goldfinch*

      How do you win awards for public speaking???? I did speech & debate in high school and loved it and I’m the go-to person on my team for presentations, but I crave yet more recognition.

      1. Public Speaking*

        I’m not American, so I can’t speak much to the American “speech and debate” circuit, but I did competitive debate and public speaking at university to a very high level (international championships), and then had experience, expertise, connections and a reputation that let me continue on post-academia. There’s a bit of a culture of “giving back” post uni in most competitive debate communities, so I judged competitions, continued to compete at some especially with less experienced speakers trying to improve (internationally, competitive debate is a team game), and did some teaching and volunteering. Outside of formal education (secondary education and universities), most public speaking awards are more corporate/toastmasters esque, but if you are interested in public speaking and like the thrill of performing (this is definitely the thing I miss about it!), I’d recommend improv! It uses much more similar skills to speech and debate and has a great community of adults!

    4. Fluff*

      Oooo – yes, how to learn to improve. I ask for feedback but that is generic. I would love to be invited as a public speaker. I get good feedback though I want improvement feedback so I can really be amazing.

      1. Public Speaking*

        the best tips for improving yourself, especially if you’re not getting the feedback you need to improve:
        1) record yourself and watch yourself back – this can be excruciating but it really helps identify weaknesses or places to improve
        2) give practice presentations or speeches to your mirror at home, focusing on your flow, your style, the phrases you use
        3) watch speeches/public speaking from people you admire – corporate presentations, political speeches, stand up comedians. they’re all doing public speaking, and watching them while thinking about the things you want to adopt from them will really help you improve
        4) ask people SPECIFIC questions when seeking feedback. So don’t just ask for feedback, but say “I’m really trying to work on how fast I talk, or how inspiring I sound, or how clear the information is, could you tell me whether that worked” etc. People give much better feedback when asked specific questions, rather than for feedback generally

  72. Nervous on Zoom*

    Does anyone have experience with doing Zoom interviewing. Specifically as the interviewee? How do you be your best while staring at the screen?

    1. chili oil*

      I always end up staring at myself, so I try to put the little box with my image near the camera. Otherwise, just try to let it be like a usual conversation.

    2. Ashley*

      It helped that when I did mine there were a few people in different rooms so I had multiple faces to visually scan. Also I had been doing a lot of meetings on Zoom / Teams recently so I was used to talking into the camera and eyes scanning the screen for other faces / reactions. Maybe practice with some friends?
      I also found taking paper notes made me look more engaged then typing /reading off a second monitor.

    3. Elastigirl*

      The best part of zoom interviewing/pitching is that you can have all your notes right in front of you. Position them immediately under the camera, and scroll so you’re always looking right at the camera, even when referring to your notes.

    4. LunaLena*

      One tip I heard was to put some googly eyes or a little smiley face sticker on your camera, so that you have something to focus on and make eye contact with.

    5. Jane Bingley*

      Practice your set-up on a Zoom call with a friend ahead of time. Have them check lighting, background, audio quality (are you echo-y, or quiet?), and make sure nothing looks awkward or distracting (a plant that looks like it’s growing out of your head, or a shirt that stops just below the camera and makes it look like it’s way more low cut than you want, for example).

      Dress professionally below the waist as well – people assume it’ll never be seen on camera but something unexpected may happen! If a pet starts to throw a fit or something expensive falls behind you or a minor earthquake hits or you think you’re logged off and stand up to leave – so many ways you can accidentally have your lower body seen on camera, so dress for an interview even if you intend your legs will go unseen.

      I stand by the googly eyes trick – stick a pair of googly eyes on either side of the camera to encourage you to make eye contact. You can also tape a photo of a loved one you feel comfortable around just behind your laptop camera so it feels like you’re talking to them.

      You may be tempted to have more notes but it’s really obvious when someone is reading on Zoom. I’d actually suggest having a notebook with any notes you want to have and don’t be afraid to visibly reference it/let it be seen on camera – it looks more professional than wandering eyes on a word doc which lead interviewers to assume you’re distracted.

    6. Emmie*

      Look at the people interviewing you instead of yourself. It sounds goofy but it works because you are mimicking an in-office interview.

      1. Ali + Nino*

        100% and when “making eye contact” I find it helpful to actually look at the eyebrows, so you’re showing interest and attention without overdoing it/staring.

      2. Another PM*

        I actually disagree! I have found it better to look at myself like chili oil mentioned above (and yes move your video square to be close to your camera so it looks like you are staring at them). It makes me more relaxed (like looking into a mirror) and is less anxiety-provoking than making virtual eye contact with a hiring manager.

        They don’t have to know you aren’t looking at them, it’s an advantage of it being virtual! You can save up that energy instead on thinking of your answers.

    7. Put the Blame on Edamame*

      Test your set up ahead of time, and don’t wear glasses that reflect your screen showing that you’re Googling something during the interview (happened in a job interview I was in as an interviewer! The interviewee was already floundering but that really ended their chances…)

      Really, practice loads, and remember it’s awkward for everyone.

    8. anon_sighing*

      I stare right into the camera so I don’t have to see their face. It helps ease my nerves.

      1. Plate of Wings*

        I do this too! I actually wonder if it unnerves people, because most others don’t, so I am trying to do a 50/50 split of camera to face these days.

    9. PBJ*

      I’ve been on both sides. I find video calls can make people’s energy a bit “flat”, so I amp up my energy. I turn off self view so I can’t see myself and I frequently look right into the camera as when you look at the people on your screen, you’re actually looking a bit lower than the camera. Oh, and do a quick background check to make sure nothing is poking our of your head (I watched a webinar this week where someone had an ornamental dagger sticking out their ear!)

  73. Ivy*

    I’m the year-round manager for an outdoor
    recreation/tourism business. All of my employees outside of my assistant manager (a elementary school teacher who uses us as a side-hustle/summer job) are 16-22 and still in school or figuring out their next step. I love talking about hiring and working with this age-cohort/demographic! Ask me anything!

    1. Lab Boss*

      What’s the newest youth slang you’ve picked up and started using in your real life? What’s the thing you’ve heard lately and still haven’t figured out what it means?

  74. US fed*

    I am seeking advice about managing senior-level employees. I am great at coaching and helping people develop, but how can I engage people who can handle more? Do I just keep giving them work until they cry “uncle!”? How do I balance giving them space with making sure they have enough support and making sure I get what I need?

    1. Lab Boss*

      At a certain point, you have to recognize that they’re no longer valuable to the company because of their constant output, but because of what they can do when called upon. You don’t want them completely without anything to do, but it’s OK if your most skilled/senior people can handle an average workload without it taking them forever.

      I’ve found once they get high level, it helps to approach managing as a collaboration. Don’t try to come up with the perfect way to tell them what to do, work WITH them to decide how their time will be prioritized. If there are relevant long term goals or deadlines, keep them in the loop. Make your NEEDS clear in advance and talk to them about how they want to get there. Don’t be too nitpicky about specific time-bound tasks, unless it’s actually necessary.

      1. Plate of Wings*

        This is so insightful! I’m not a people manager but I certainly see this in action at my small company. Thank you!

    2. Chauncy Gardener*

      Are you talking Director/VP level employees or people who have been doing their job for a long time and have a high degree of expertise?

    3. Pretty as a Princess*

      I am very good at making sure that I don’t reward high achieving hard workers with … just more work. This is one of my areas of interest and super powers, niche though it may be.

      I believe this is an excellent opportunity to talk to someone about their areas of interest for professional growth & development, or perhaps kinds of projects they may be interested in contributing to. I’d try from there to find opportunities aligned with those interests that they can work on when they’ve conquered strong performance against the base level of whatever output you need from them. The balance you want is they are doing a level of work that demonstrates they are an above average/excellent/whatever language performer, and creating additional “opportunities for them to succeed”.

      There is also a balance where you don’t want to reward people with so many “opportunities to succeed” that all these great special things wind up becoming punishments, in the sense that they get so many special things to take on that they feel overwhelmed.

      “Opportunities to succeed” examples might be: there’s an awards committee and you need to provide a member; there’s a study coming up that you need to position a staff member on; there’s a team that needs some help from your team on a new and exciting project; there’s an internal leadership program; there’s a conference they could go to with some of your senior leaders… lots of kinds of things.

      1. US fed*

        My problem is that my high achieving hard workers do want more work and feel unfulfilled when they don’t have a ton going on. Trust me, your approach is my default!

        (And these are senior-level analysts, not managers/directors/VPs. Not supervisors.)

    4. colorguard*

      One thing that the best managers I’ve had have done when I’ve hit that level in a role is to use the fact I can get through the “typical” workload faster to give me the opportunity to do more interesting/fun/stretch projects with the available time. It gave me chances to expand my skills, which often paid off with more interesting future roles. They also were a nice break from some of the more routine work and often were projects that had bigger impact in the company, which made them more rewarding.

  75. bookanon*

    I’m a literary agent, happy to answer questions on that/publishing/give book recs if you let me know other stuff you like.

    1. Elastigirl*

      I have a history dealing with entertainment agents, but the book world has a different vibe. What is a waste of time when approaching book agents/publishers with a debut novel (coming from a successful background of other types of writing/storytelling)? Thank you!

      1. bookanon*

        When it comes to fiction, agents basically just care about if the book sounds good and marketable. Almost all agents explain their submission process somewhere on their website, so just following the guidelines and writing a book they fall in love with is basically all you need. The only exception is that sometimes in literary fiction circles the right MFA or prestigious short story publications can give you extra cred, but in most other genres that type of thing would be a waste of time to pursue if you already have the great novel.

    2. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat*

      How would you approach a publisher for a translation project? The readership would probably be… Academics, but I’m no longer actively in academia. It’s a collection of old short stories, not the most pop lit subject.

      1. bookanon*

        That I’m not sure about, apologies! Translations are either a subright for books that we sell (meaning the publisher is coming to us wanting to pay money to publish in X language) or something we’re not involved with (a translator with cred in X language dreams of doing a new edition of Famous Title and emails the editor they’ve worked with before, perhaps).

    3. Little John*

      I have agent questions! Where do you acquire the writers you represent? Do you have to seek them out proactively, or do you receive enough inquiries from writers that you can choose from among them? How many writers do you represent? What does the sales end of the process look like: are you just, like, phoning publishers and saying the equivalent of “Get a load of this novel, you’d be a fool to miss out” and then sending it to them and hoping they buy it, or are there a lot more steps than that?

      1. bookanon*

        I definitely receive enough queries from authors that I can choose from among them, but I also sign authors based on referrals from other clients or people I know or by seeking them out if I see their work around and like it. I represent approximately 40 clients right now. The literal sales process does essentially look like emailing editors and saying “check out this next hot thing” and crossing your fingers, but it’s the end result working with the author to edit the manuscript, building relationships with editors/publishers and knowing their taste, and carefully crafting the pitch to sound extra appealing. And then everything after the sale is a lot more complicated than just counting our money.

    4. Spot the Chicken's biographer*

      Writing and publishing fiction for children.

      (I am a creative who has been mired in data management for way too long so I’m all over the place on this.)

      What resources/references do you recommend that map the publishing/marketing process and could answer the questions below?

      How do you “market test” your story to determine:
      –If kids would actually enjoy it and it’s worth pursuing publication
      –Appropriate age range?
      –Type/Style of book it should be (picture, first reader)?
      Choose an illustrator?

      1. bookanon*

        There’s really only one way, which is to go out and read approximately 100 (preferably more) examples of what you want to write (picture book, chapter book, etc) and get an inherent feeling for what the different age ranges sound like, what themes they deal with, what you’re more drawn to. There is no market testing in a meaningful sense for if an idea is “worth” pursuing publication. Most things will not be published but many things still make it through every week, so you should only pursue it if you feel compelled to write even in the face of multiple rejections and knowing it may take many book ideas to break through.

        As for resources, I recommend checking out Jennifer Laughran’s tumblr and the Author’s Guild.

    5. Pterodactyls are under-cited in the psychological literature*

      So far my published writing consists of one PhD dissertation, a couple peer-reviewed scientific papers, statistics tutorials for an allied-health professional journal, ~200k words of fanfic (individual works ~150-~60k words) and a personal essay I wrote in seventh grade that won a national contest lol. I have several ideas for sci-fi original works, not yet written so this is a far future question: obviously none of my stuff counts as previous “real” fiction publishing, but in trying to convince an agent my work might be financially viable, would it mean anything to mention this background? To me it shows that I can write well in a variety of formats, but I have no sales metrics. The closest I can get to data is “comparing my works to others of similar length in the same fandoms published around the same time, mine range from the 75th to 90th percentile for percent of readers leaving kudos or bookmarking the work.” How do you balance deciding whether an unknown author’s work is worth your time to evaluate, your personal reaction to the quality of the writing, and the lack of any data on whether their work would sell?
      From having done the dissertation I have some idea of how much utter work a novel would be and I’m trying to get an idea of whether it’s at all realistic to think of getting published or should I just figure this is for me and not expect anything else!

      1. lunchtime caller*

        so to tackle the embedded questions here:

        1. the background would not mean anything in terms of showing your work is financially viable, though fanfiction writing is often scene as a charming background trait in SFF
        2. which is okay, because in SFF you don’t need any data at all or a resume or metrics to pitch your work to an agent; whether or not to represent you will come down entirely to our opinion of the quality of the work and whether we think works LIKE that one sell. For that, research “comp titles” (there are loads of resources if you google that term) but also knowing the market is our job
        3. It’s never realistic to think of getting published in the sense that it’s not realistic to think you’ll become a decently well-known singer or be on Broadway. But at the same time, loads of people (though a tiny percentage of those who try) do it every week, so pursue it if it’s your dream

    6. Honor Harrington*

      I have always found books just by wandering the shelves in a book store or looking on line, but the algorhythms of Amazon make it hard to find new stuff. So, if I like SF/F, romance, historical fiction, cozy mysteries, and/or nature writing, what are the best places to find good reviews or recomendations? I feel like I must be missing great stuff just because I can’t find it!

      1. bookanon*

        The New York Times has a great review section for SFF and Romance! (possibly the other categories as well, though I’m less familiar with the reviewers in that space) If you don’t mind chatting up your local booksellers, they’ll also be experts at recommending things and know all the new good ones. Or if you’re far from an independent bookstore, following one on social media is great because they’ll often post top bookseller picks, events coming up in the store, book clubs they have, etc. Fated Mates is a great podcast for romance recs too.

      1. bookanon*

        Depends on what you’re into, but the last few things I really enjoyed were:

        THE DRIFT (sort of a speculative thriller with 3 entwined narratives)
        KILLERS OF A CERTAIN AGE (old lady assassins get Burn Noticed)
        SIREN QUEEN (old Hollywood plus magic and gods)
        SEVERANCE (plague related, but thoughtful about work in times of trouble)
        ON EARTH AS IT IS ON TELEVISION (aliens and talking cats!)

  76. Cross cultural/male dominated work*

    How do you work in multicultural situations? Specifically, as the only woman on an all-male team, and a number of the men are from/in cultures where woman aren’t valued for technical knowledge. Can you be heard or respected?

    1. anon_sighing*

      The first thing is to not treat this as a “cultural” issue, but a professional one. The second is to identify instances, write them down, and not make blanket assumptions as well: are they like this because you’re a woman or are they saying this because this is how they react to their colleagues in general, because they themselves are over-confident in their work and shoot down people, or how they work in general?

      You do not ask for respect or to be heard because the moment you have to ask, you’ve given them the ability to say ‘no.’ Personally, they can have whatever feelings they want about you but as their colleague, you have a right to be an equal. You don’t need to ask for that, too, because you were hired to do your job and deemed qualified already. Documentation is key. There are laws to protect you and you escalate it as a professional issue if that comes up. On the day-to-day though, you just need to assert your role (do what you were hired to do) and keep track that you’re doing it if things blow up in their faces for not listening.

    2. Honor Harrington*

      I think it depends on what price you are willing pay. The more you confront, the higher the pushback. And often, you will be considered the problem. So you need to decide how much you are willing to manage them or coddle them to get what you need.

      I have found that I can’t point out issues, but I can ask questions. “Ganesh, I’m sure you’ve already noticed that the code doesn’t work. That typo on line 42 just breaks it. Will you have time to fix it today before we go to UAT tomorrow?” or “hey, Pierre, what were you planning to do about the batch job abend?” This is especially good in my current job because holding others accountable in a respectful way is a key sign that you are a leader.

      Similarly, I don’t look for signs of respect, but I do stop signs of disrespect. You don’t have to call me ma’am, but if you call me sweetie pie, I’ll stop you in a heart beat. A friendly “that’s not appropriate here” often works. Sadly, as a woman, you can never be mad, and you can never cry.

      Think carefully about when doing “chick stuff” can work in your favor. I often take meeting minutes – and you better believe those minutes document exactly what I want to happen. I’ve found it easy to slide from “keeping minutes” to actually running the meeting.

      Good luck!

    3. Tau*

      So I’ve spent my whole career in male-dominated multicultural workplaces and have had surprisingly few problems so far, but I’m really not sure how much of that boils down to luck. Still, I’ll give it a try.

      Realistically, if you are in a workplace like this and struggling to be heard or respected, I’m not sure it’s fixable – these are often deeply-rooted problems tacitly supported by management which you are not in a great position to change. Any particular tactics aimed at making yourself heard are likely to only be putting a band-aid on the problem. However, that doesn’t mean every workplace like this is going to disrespect you, or every male coworker from a culture with a lot of sexism will be a problem. (I’ve actually found that the stereotype that women are bad at *specifically* STEM seems to be relatively Western, interestingly enough). Realistically, your best bet might be to do some very careful vetting at the interview stage – do any of the interviewers talk over you? Do you get the impression they don’t trust your qualifications, or are expecting you to need to prove you know what you’re talking about? Do you get a chance to talk to the team, and how do they interact? Are there any other women on the team… in technical positions? (This doesn’t tell the whole story, but I do view it as a red flag if there’s zero others around.)

      Otherwise, I generally try to straddle a line between friendly and open to other opinions but still confident, and pretty much try to take for granted that I’m going to be respected and treated as an equal participant. This part is cribbed from how I deal with my very overt speech disorder; my experience has been that people often take their cues from you in how they interact with you, and any hint of shame, defensiveness, lack of confidence, the sense that you’re trying to prove yourself worthy somehow, etc. can be like blood in the water. I want to radiate an aura of “of COURSE you will treat me as a fellow professional and consider me seriously despite the fact that I’m the only woman here and am also struggling to get words out, anything else is unthinkable” as much as possible, and the best way to do that is to make yourself believe it for real. That also means that I lean pretty heavily into obliviousness and don’t actually let myself wonder whether small stuff is due to me being visibly female or having an obvious disability. In practice, for the micro stuff I find it’s often impossible to know one way or the other, but thinking about it too much rattles you and can end up perturbing the fellow-professional-nothing-to-see-here aura.

      But again – I may have been lucky, I’m pretty sure none of this will save you in a workplace where disrespect is entrenched, and I also sometimes wonder if the stutter is interacting oddly with sexism that makes my experience not entirely generalisable. So your mileage may vary.

    4. Fluff*

      I also add a few other tactics:

      I have a few different jackets or tops in my office. Many are “male” like. When I need to, I put on the clothes to make the point of of course I am here to represent my department and am on equal respectful footing.

      Avoid any sexist appearing activities. Here you may have to do research for the various cultures.
      Practice your lines like an actor. “Can you get me tea please?” Pretend to misunderstand and “Oh I would love some, thanks” and hand him your cup. Or, “no,” gesture to the place where the drinks are, “It’s over there. Careful the water is hot.” and back to work.

      “No, I do not want to take notes.” Pass it back or to another man in the room. You can choose to soften it and ramp up the severity in a step-wise fashion. “Oh no, I take these notes for myself…” Write out scripts and say them out loud.

      Keeping adding to the list. “In this work place, everyone at this employee-rank is respected and treated the same within the command structure. I realize this may differ from other norms, and it is the expectation here.” plain comment, matter of fact and move to next topic.

      Practice saying it and then being quiet in the awkward. Glaciers melt, the sun explodes. wait it out. Bask in discomfort while you wait for them to do whatever. Train your brain that the discomfort is a good thing. Then go into the work topic.

      If you out rank people, consider giving feedback or setting expectations as people join the team. If the team is based in the US with US norms, find a way to communicate or have a professional version of how to thrive professionally in US business / common pitfalls for people new to the US and the US profession in X. A document can be quite helpful with the ‘we share this with our employees new to __.”

      Good luck.

  77. I'm A Little Teapot*

    I’m an external auditor, with a focus in auditing local governments in the US (cities, districts, schools). While a lot about auditing is very client specific, there’s a lot that is general. Any questions about being audited, how to audit, etc and I’ll do my best to answer.

    1. Syfy Geek*

      I have a question about a non-profit I used to work at. The Controller was also the HR person.
      The Accounts Payable person was also the Payroll person.

      The people in those two positions were brothers in law (married sisters so they didn’t have the same last name). There was never any idea of them doing anything the slightest bit shady, but if they wanted to, the Controller/HR could have created an imaginary employee and the AP/Payroll could have processed payroll for this imaginary person.

      We were always warned that Auditors catch everything! But the yearly auditors never realized the people in these positions were related. Is that just a fluke?

      1. I'm A Little Teapot*

        It’s very possible that the auditors wouldn’t realize. It’s not something we can easily check for. We would like to know about those sorts of relationships however, because it is a risk exactly as you describe. As auditors, we ask about “related parties” and I would hope that it would prompt someone to mention that sort of situation. I’ll give them some side eye for NOT mentioning it.

      1. I'm A Little Teapot*

        Had to google that lol. I’m both a lot scarier and a lot less scary than a state auditor however, depending on the context.

  78. Dogwoodblossom*

    I’m really good at parsing accents. If you work with the public in a diverse area I can give you some tips for figuring out what people are saying if they have a strong or unusual accent. My tips are probably only applicable to English though.

    Also I can teach you to teach your pet to use talking buttons.

    1. Lab Boss*

      Strictly curious: Do you have a sense of which accents tend to be the easiest or hardest to parse, overall? One of our sub-teams has some very rural Scottish people and I seem to be the only one who can understand them, and I’m always mystified as it seems obvious to me.

      1. Dog*

        I kinda think that has more to do with which are common in your area and/or what you’re used to hearing. I tend to have a harder time with accents where the cadence of speech is really different from mine/the regional accents I’m used to. Like a heavy Russian accent isn’t too different in terms of phonemes, but it can be like riding a roller coaster because it rises and falls so differently.

    2. little frog*

      Can you teach a non-treat motivated cat the talking buttons? What do you do when the answer is no? How do you train a pet to not be obnoxious? My cat often asks for treats by being scratchy/bitey, but the answer is no.

      1. Dogwoodblossom*

        You super can, but you do need to figure out *something* that’s motivating to the cat instead. Play is a big one for a lot of cats, or catnip. Pets is good if you have a cat that is particular about when/how it is touched.

        Whenever I talk to somebody who says “I don’t know what motivates my pet” my answer is that you need to figure it out! Something must.

        Re: training them not to be obnoxious, eh, it’s a bit up in the air. Button pets definitely can be demanding. But our animals aren’t trying to be combative right? The buttons allow them a new and unprecedented way to let us know they have an unmet need. Some people really balk at that idea, they feel like if they start the buttons and then learn that their pet has been unsatisfied in some way that that means they’ve been a bad caregiver up till now.

        A lot of people also fear that their animals will start asking for too many things. Usually food because humans have so much food related baggage that we love to dump on our pets, but other stuff too. My answer is two-fold. If your pet asks for something they can’t have, first check with yourself, is it really something they can’t have? Is it dangerous in some way, or did you make a rule because you felt like there should be a rule? If your pet has a medical condition that means they need to eat specific amounts of food at specific times, that’s a real reason to say no to a request for food. But if it’s 5 and you’re saying no because dinner time is 7 and that’s a rule you made up because it made sense for your work hours at a job you had two jobs ago, maybe dinner at 5 is fine actually. This may be an example from my real life. Lol.

        But if you do have to say no, you just say no. It’s fine to say no! Actually, with your cat being bitey, I think the buttons could really help her have a better way to communicate. One thing that’s super helpful (and you don’t need buttons to do it even, though they help) is to instead of just a flat “no” say what is happening instead. So instead of “No treats” when she wants treats you can say “Treats all done. Settle now. Treats later.” Sometimes they just want reassurance that the last treat, or play, or whatever isn’t the last one they’ll ever get for the rest of time. My girlfriend’s cat wants to play constantly. If we’ve already played with him for a while and we just want to sit and watch TV the answer isn’t “No Play” it’s “Play All Done, Toy Now” or “Puzzle Now” so he knows what his options are.

    3. A Girl Named Fred*

      Oh, I am so tempted to ask about teaching my pet to use talking buttons. Sometimes I just want to be like, “You’re clearly trying to tell me something and I’m sorry I can’t figure out what!” so her actually being able to push a button would be great.

      I also just want to get better at training her and communicating with her in general, so any general tips you have for training dogs (especially as a first-time dog owner) would be great!

      1. Dogwoodblossom*

        I’m only an amateur at dog training, but there are some great resources on instagram. I super recommend @r.plus.dogs (we hired her to work with us when we introduced a new dog into the household and she was great), @tailsofconnection, @calmcanineacademy and @dog_atheart. I also, always always recommend Karen Pryor, who is one of the OG positive reinforcement trainers (she studied under B. F. Skinner back in the 1950s). Her book ‘Don’t Shoot the Dog’ was literally life changing for me. Actually, it reminds me of a lot of Alison’s advice here when we hear about a bad manager and Alison says, “This is what happens when a manager doesn’t know what all tools they have in their toolbox.” The book is about understanding what your options are (besides just shooting the dog- a hyperbolic suggestion that will guarantee an end to bad behavior). When you’re trying to learn about dog training you want to search for positive reinforcement (r plus), cooperative care, and force/fear free. Know that “Dog Behaviorist” is a made-up nothing term and trainers who claim it aren’t to be trusted.

        The buttons though are different from training. This is counterintuitive and it trips up a lot of people. Really well-trained dogs and people who know a lot about dog training actually have a more difficult time with the buttons than complete novices. I’ve talked to people who are super frustrated that their agility champion dog isn’t pushing the buttons. The deal there is that the agility champion dog is *used to waiting for a cue to do a thing* and the buttons should never be cued. Buttons need to be the animal’s choice to press or not press. That can be really frustrating for people just starting with the buttons who are SO EXCITED TO COMMUNICATE BETTER! But like, choosing to say nothing is still communication. But yeah, if you have a dog that seems frustrated with your current communication, you should definitely look into some button training stuff.

        The first thing I would recommend is that you simplify the language you use with the dog. Try to use consistent words and phrases. For instance, when I started the buttons with my dog I wanted to add a food button but wasn’t sure what word to settle on. I thought through how I talked to my dog about food and realized I used all kinds of different words and phrases “Do you want some poodle food?” “Are you so sad and hungry?” “Time for poodle breakfast!” This list could go on and on because I’m ridiculous. So now, we just use the word “Food” to talk about food and the dog has a much better understanding of what’s happening. The words you choose don’t matter. The consistency matters. Once you have an established dog vocabulary you can try offering choices. You don’t need buttons for this at all. Can we embed links? I don’t think so. Full disclosure, this is my website. http://talkingtalkingbuttons.com/resources/two-hands

        1. A Girl Named Fred*

          Thank you so much!! I’ll definitely check all of those resources out. I’ve never even had a family dog prior to her, so I want to make sure I’m giving her the best life I can and I know that right now it’s my knowledge and skills that are lacking, not hers. I appreciate the thorough answer!

      2. Dogwoodblossom*

        AGNF I wrote you quite a long reply but it seems like it’s caught in moderation. I’ll try and repost it later if it doesn’t surface in the next couple hours. This is a big busy thread so I’m guessing it’s just taking a while.

    4. Bossypants*

      I’m interested in the extent to which talking buttons help cat–human communication. As AGNF notes, it would be great to know what my cat wants to tell me. Does it help?

      I really can’t wait for the buttons that translate human into cat!

      1. Dogwoodblossom*

        Buttons are great for cats. There’s an idea that dogs are more trainable than cats (which I already take issue with) and that dogs are, idk, friendlier? More interested in their people than cats are, which I also take issue with. Also, a super super common thing I hear is people saying “Oh I’d love to do the buttons but my dog/cat (I hear cat most often though) isn’t smart enough.” It’s like a dagger through my heart because the buttons have nothing to do with smart. There are 10 million articles about Bunny the Genius Doodle. I’m not saying Bunny isn’t smart, but there are literally thousands of animals (not just dogs and cats, but horses and cows and chickens and guinea pigs as well) doing this and they aren’t all geniuses. They just can’t be.

        So, your cat can absolutely learn the buttons. I had my dog for 9 years before we started learning the buttons in 2020 and we knew each other backwards and forwards. The things I have learned about him that I never would have known otherwise are astonishing. My girlfriend’s cat has only had his buttons for a few months and she recently gave him name buttons. He loves to say his own name. It’s very good.

        I actually think cats have a bit of an advantage over dogs with the buttons because dog owners know how to get their dogs to do stuff. They’ve done clicker training or whatever and taught their dog a specific behavior so they just try to apply that to the buttons and it backfires because buttons don’t work that way. But cat owners are used to putting down a toy or whatever and letting the cat decide if it wants to interact or not. Patience is absolutely critical.

        When you first start out with the buttons you choose things like “food” or “play” or “treat” or “pets.” It’s pretty basic and its usually stuff that your pet can already ask for so I get that it might not seem that useful. But that stuff isn’t for teaching your pet words (you should start with words that you know they know), it’s for teaching them how the buttons work. It’s for teaching that the buttons can be a means of communication. It’s a bit of a Rosetta Stone. Once they understand that then the sky is the limit. I’m a big proponent of feelings words in particular. There are a ton of button users who can now communicate what they need to calm their anxiety. Billie the cat, who is probably the biggest talking cat on social media, can tell his mom that he hates the music she’s playing (the Hamilton Soundtrack, lol) and wants her to turn it off.

        Another thing that I think gets lost sometimes when people talk about the buttons is that it isn’t just about your animal communicating with you. It’s also a clear way for you to communicate with them. There are other ways to do that, obviously, but when people are talking around them all day long, I think our animals don’t always pay attention to all the chatter. Many people have found that they can verbally say a thing to their pet but if they use the buttons as well, the animal understands better, is more keyed in. My theory is that it’s because if you’re at the buttons they know you’re definitely talking to them.

        The buttons were literally life changing for me and my dog. He has severe separation anxiety and medication and years of training could barely scratch it. He would be distraught when I got ready to leave, crying and howling and throwing himself at me. If he was left alone, he would cry literally the entire time I was gone. If my roommate was home, it would take him sometimes 20 minutes of soothing to calm down. If you think this sounds exhausting, you’re right, but I love this dog more than anything else in this world, so I could deal. But the first time I used time and place words to tell him where I was going (Errands) and when I would be back (Later) he just sat calmly on the couch and watched me leave like it was no big deal.

        He has absolutely communicated things to me with the buttons that I could never otherwise have known, but the way it’s changed how *I* communicate with *him* has been huge.

    5. Working on my listening*

      Do you have any tips for strong Indian accents? I wish I could be more specific, because I know I don’t have trouble with ALL Indian accents, but one of team leaders has a particularly low, gravely voice and an Indian accent where I have trouble separating out the words from each other. I feel so embarrassed, and I hate asking him to repeat himself!

      1. Dogwoodblossom*

        Yes! The biggest key (for any accent really) is to try to figure out the vowels. It’s really helpful if you can ask a question with a proscribed answer.

        At the job where I hammered out most of this, we got phone calls from clients who all had a 10 digit member number and before we did anything we needed them to tell us that number so we could pull up their account. But a phone number or any other number you might have a reasonable reason to ask for would work. Reciting numbers is great because there’s only 9 words you have to be able to parse, none of them rhyme, and they all have different vowel sounds in them.

        So once you hear that they are pronouncing the ‘eye’ sound in nine more like ‘ney’ (this is not an Indian specific example) or they’re making the ‘oo’ in two into more of an ‘oh’ you can use that as a bit of a cypher key to figure out the rest.

        There’s also just some stuff in English that trips people up (because it’s bonkers, to be clear) and some of it you make only realize after a conversation is over but you can carry it forward with you. I remember once hearing a Persian guy talking about the ‘woh-led’ and I finally figured out from context he was saying “World” and just hitting the L a little too hard. But like, it’s not a completely silent L, he wasn’t wrong to pronounce it.

        Also, with this stuff, it’s inherently frustrating to both parties and you really really have to not get impatient. It’s fine to ask people to repeat things once but if that doesn’t help, you have to ask another way to get an answer that’s phrased a little differently.

        1. Awkwardness*

          Wow. I am not sure if you can answer this, but how long would it take to get practise with this technique?
          I am no native English speaker, so this seems like a lot of concentration work: trying to understand their use of vowels, hearing the English sentence, trying to “correct” the vowel in my mind, understanding. While the other person is going on with talking.

          But the Indian accent is so strong most of the time, making it really difficult to follow the person speaking, that I would really love to put this in use.

          1. Dogwoodblossom*

            A good way to practice is just to listen to people speak. I actually started figuring the bits of this out from listening to LibriVox. It’s a very cool website that hosts free audiobooks of works that are in the public domain. But the catch is that they aren’t generally professionally recorded, they’re just random people who volunteered to read out loud and record it. So sometimes a book will be really well done by one narrator, and other times you get a totally different person every chapter and it varies wildly. I was listening to guy with an Indian by way of British accent read P.G. Wodehouse and I was having a rough time following (in addition to the accent the book was also focused on a lot of the minutia of Cricket, lol) until I was able to zero in on the main character’s name. He was saying “Mark” with an almost Bostonian drawl that turned it into “Mahk” and I was able to parse out other vowel sounds from there.

            A good way to find people to listen to is to check YouTube for videos by/for native speakers of X language who have tips on improving their English fluency. Typically, they will do these videos in English and they’re really interesting. They’re usually aimed at people coming to the US/UK for work/school so the focus is on building a professional vocabulary and understanding English idioms that trip people up. Also “X person reacts” videos can be a good source for listening to people from different specific places. Like “Irish people try American candy for first time,” or “Koreans react to American anti-drug propaganda.” You can put in basically any nationality, and you’ll find something.

          2. Dogwoodblossom*

            Realized I didn’t answer your time question. It took me several months to really build this skill. It is really tough to do this while still actively listening and if you’re already mentally translating it’ll probably be way tougher. It’s probably easier to do on the phone then face to face because you can take a beat to process and people just think you’re typing or something. But in my experience being patient and empathetic will go a long way with people.

            1. Awkwardness*

              That was a super helpful explanation. Thank you!!

              I listened to LibriVox before and skipped recordings because the accent was too distracting and I lost track of the story while trying to figure out the accent. I never thought to use that as training. Such a good idea!

  79. Design&Grind*

    I’m a UX and design expert primarily working in web and graphic design. As someone who almost exclusively works with NGO’s and Government agencies, I also know a lot of free/low cost design resources! Happy to answer questions or share any useful resources.

    1. LunaLena*

      I work in graphic design and marketing in education, so budgets are definitely always tight around here! Do you have any (preferably free) resources for simple vector icons or dynamic QR codes?

    2. Basic Octopus*

      I asked this above as well – Is there an easy and cheap (ideally free) way of blurring faces in a video? Specifically I’m using CCTV footage for training purposes and don’t want to identify people but my company doesn’t seem to care much about getting me access to something like this. The videos don’t need editing beyond trimming, it’s just a blur feature I need.

  80. Elastigirl*

    I have deep expertise in teaching/training creatives.

    More specifically, I teach people hoping to break into the entertainment industry. (And I have a high success rate.) AMA!

    1. Dogwoodblossom*

      Ooh, I have a question that may be too weirdly specific. I’m an artist with an interest in animation. A lot of my work is sculpting figures, mostly creatures, in clay and working with various fibercrafts and mixed media to make weird art dolls. I can also 3D model. I live in an area where there are several studios that do stop motion. How do I get a job in like a puppet studio?

    2. WellRed*

      What do you teach them? And do you ever turn anyone down because it’s probably hopeless?

  81. CheesePlease*

    I am by no means an expert but I am a young mom of 2 working full-time and am willing to give insight into:
    – daycare selection / budgeting
    – planning for maternity leave
    – being pregnant in an all-male office (woof)
    – returning to work in office after baby
    etc

    1. badger*

      What are the things that really surprised you about the process/that no one had told you about? I’m thinking about planning for my first child and starting to consume more resources about maternity leave/balancing childcare and just am seeing so much we don’t talk about normally and that I would never find out about if I wasn’t deliberately looking!

      1. CheesePlease*

        There’s a lot of specific pregnancy / childbirth / postpartum things that surprised me. I think having a trusted friend or two to text was really helpful there. I won’t get into the specifics but bodies are wonderful and wild is the summary on that.

        Re: maternity leave / childcare I was not really surprised by much personally. I had previous experience with FMLA when I was supervising individuals who needed it for themselves and was aware of how all the paperwork generally worked. I live in a state (PA) without any state leave so I just have FMLA + paid leave from my company and minimal paperwork. But this will vary by state / company

        It is important to note that if you want short-term disability to cover maternity leave (6 or 8 weeks depending on the type of delivery), you need to be enrolled in that before you get pregnant. I wish I had done the math. My short-term disability benefits provided through the company I was at with baby #1 only covered 60% of my salary for 6weeks, and by the time I had made all the months of contributions to ensure I was covered for the appropriate time period, I think I probably netted ~$200 total. So I barely recovered any wages.

      2. Grogu's Mom*

        One thing about the process that surprised me and was almost a disaster was how long it took my doctor to fill out my postpartum “return to work” paperwork for HR. To make a long story short, despite being verbally cleared at my 7 week postpartum appointment, it took almost 6 weeks after that to get the doctor’s signature on a single line that said I was able to resume performing the functions of my position with or without reasonable accommodations on x date. I submitted the form twice (online and in person), spent dozens of increasingly upsetting hours on the phone/on hold or in person at the records office, escalated to the manager of the records office, the manager’s manager, the doctor’s own manager, and eventually had to file an official grievance against the doctor before I got the signed form back, just a few days before I was scheduled to return to the office (and technically after the HR deadline to return to work on my scheduled date, but fortunately my HR office was reasonable about it). None of my suggestions (such as seeing another provider with less of a paperwork backlog and getting cleared again) were taken seriously.

        It was incredibly stressful at a time that I did not need additional stress. In hindsight, I would have brought the paperwork to the 7 week postpartum appointment and tried to get the doctor to sign it then and there. And if that didn’t work I would just keep scheduling appointments until I got what I needed, because the doctor just did not care until it affected her directly.

    2. Ali + Nino*

      How do you balance it all? I feel like I’m drowning and stuff is falling through the cracks. I specifically mean daily/weekly household and family stuff (e.g., buying groceries, meal plans, cleaning, etc.).

      1. CheesePlease*

        I mean we fall short of expectations at home and I feel like I’m failing 25% of the time and merely surviving 50% of the time. My husband is VERY helpful. He managed all the laundry, cleaning etc. I manage meals, feeding the baby etc. We do daycare / doctors / errands together.

        I haven’t dusted my house in a month. We do really simple meals (pasta + jar of pesto or frozen salmon pieces + frozen veg in the oven). On the weekends I try to batch prep breakfasts (baked oatmeal or egg bake) and one big soup or curry type meal that can work for 2-3 lunches when paired with some bread and cheese. We buy so much frozen stuff that cooks up fast. And then I just make peace with the imperfections of everything else. I try to also have cookies and ice cream at home too. Because survival.

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        I recommend the book How to Keep House While Drowning. It’s a very compassionate book, easy to read, and does exactly what it says on the cover.

      3. EmilyClimbs*

        If I can jump in as someone who has also been through this, two things stand out to me:

        1) Things will fall through the cracks… that’s inevitable and okay. The trick is figuring out what things you’re okay with deprioritizing. For us it included a lot of cleaning and household stuff, the quality of our meals, etc. If you judge yourself by the standard of “Can I do everything I did before, plus the massive added challenge of taking care of a baby?” you’re just setting yourself up for failure. You will be able to add some of these things back in over time, but for now, you’ll likely be happier with picking some things to intentionally either drop completely or at least treat as “nice to do if possible” rather than “must do.”

        2) If you have a partner, it’s so important and helpful to work together on this stuff from the start. Try to split responsibilities fairly, play to your strengths, make sure both of you get some responsibility-free downtime, keep both of you involved enough in parenting tasks that you don’t fall into the pattern where one of you ends up doing more because you’re “just better at it,” and take the impact of sleep deprivation very seriously (ideally by doing shifts so you both can get reasonable sleep, but if you’re not going to do that, then by recognizing that just getting through the day will be tough for the more sleep-deprived one, and that means the other partner should be taking on more than half of the daytime kid-and-house tasks.)

        Okay, off my soapbox now. Best of luck getting through this challenging time!

      4. Jane Anonsten*

        I’m a similar demographic as CheesePlease though my kids are in elementary now, but I heard a great analogy once:
        You are juggling, but not everything is made of glass. It’s ok to drop things that are made of plastic to keep the glass things in the air. It’s also ok for something to be made of glass today and plastic tomorrow.

    3. EMP*

      Would love your tips (or even just a pep talk) for working full time after maternity leave! My brain just isn’t in it, and I’m starting a new job soon where I fear the expectations will be very high. I’ve definitely been coasting at my current job the past few months back.

      1. CheesePlease*

        I left a job that demanded 120% constantly with no support, and am currently so happy at a job where giving 75% earns me high praise. How much support is there at the new job? Is management thoughtful and

        I make sure to be diligent about my to-do lists, cushion the deadlines I give my manager, and think of the things my family can do because we are dual income. I think of my retirement and life insurance and other benefits. This keeps me motivated on days when it feels draining.

        But I do think that documenting your work as much as possible before leave, and having a routine throughout your day, plus little treats (yummy snacks! a podcast you love while sorting through documents etc) make it manageable. I ha da giant One Note file with everything I was working on, how to do it with screenshots etc. It was very helpful returning to work.

        I also came back to the office on a Friday. That allowed me to touch base with my manager, clear out my email inbox and clean my desk (lol) but then I didn’t have to work a full week. Others have used intermittent leave to return 2-3 days / wk for 2-3wks before going back full time to really spend that time getting familiar with the role again.

        good luck!

    4. Medium Sized Manager*

      What are things your manager can do to support you?

      We are a flexible and fully remote office, so I am a) vocal about adjusting hours and being flexible about childcare (kiddos are always welcome in meetings if necessary) and b) make sure their goals are not inhibited by taking advantage of flexible time. I am a woman without kids so I try to let them lead, but I worry that new parents don’t know what they don’t know and would like to be able to offer ideas for them to use as they see fit.

      1. CheesePlease*

        1) Flexibility is KEY. my manage is a single parent and doesn’t let me take PTO when my kiddo is sick, daycare closes unexpectedly or I have to take them to a peds visit. She trusts I will get my work done and emphasizes that PTO is for >4hrs away from my desk and ideally for family time / relaxation / if I am sick etc. However, she leads by example here and that makes it easy to ask. You can just have a conversation with new parents and say “Hey, when Mark had his baby I let him know I had this policy around flexible time. And when Julie came back from maternity leave, she did this other thing. If you ever need X,Y or Z let me know”

        2) Stand up for employees if someone else makes weird / rude comments. Like if another manage makes a joke about maternity leave being a vacation, call them out and don’t leave it up to the pregnant employee to speak up. You sound lovely and decent so I hope you would do this anyways, but it does a long way for a nervous first-time parent.

        3) If our job has truly flexible hours – check in every 4-6m just to recalibrate hours / work expectations. ‘Hey Gina, you’ve been working 8am-4pm typically. With summer coming up and the schoolyear ending I wanted to touch base and see if those hours still work best for you and your family. We can shift to a different schedule if little Tim is starting summer camp and the hours are different” Just, take the asking portion off their plate a little bit.

  82. CG*

    I’ve been in the U.S. federal government for years and moved from technical to policy work over time. Happy to answer questions about working for the federal government, including benefits.

    1. Writer Seeks $$$*

      Hello! I have a background in journalism and experience as a staff writer. Are you able to speak to any roles that would need that kind of person, which departments, what the application process is likely to be?

  83. alldogsarepuppies*

    Excel:

    Is there a way to highlight cells in Column A provided it matches criteria in Column B

    1. Abe Froman*

      Conditional formatting! I only use google sheets these days, so I don’t quite remember how to do it in Excel. You can create a rule that basically says “if a range equals this, do this to these cells.”

      1. Lab Boss*

        Specifically in Excel you’d highlight the cells that you want to be highlighted, then under the “Home” tab use the “Conditional Formatting” drop-down box and select “Highlight Cells” rules. There’s some different options depending on how you want those criteria to match, but that should get you started!

    3. Ferret*

      This is a little tricky if you are trying to work across multiple columns in condiitonal formatting. Honestly what I would do is add column C with a formula that outputs if there is a match, e.g. =IF(a13=b13,”Y”,”N”), and then you can use conditional formatting on column C to highlight the Ys in Green and the Ns in red , and use column C to sort and filter results

    4. ecnaseener*

      I can’t quite tell what you mean by “it” matches criteria in column B, so two different interpretations — for both of these, in Conditional Formatting, choose the “use a formula” rule type. Apply the rule to column A (A:A or A1:A100 or whatever range you need)

      If you want to check that the value of B matches some criterion: =$B1=”x” or =$B1>10 or whatever

      If you have a value in column B and you want to check that A matches it, row by row: = $A1=$B1

    5. Pocket Mouse*

      Not quite an answer to your question, but I mentioned this related and super useful tidbit in a previous thread: after conditional formatting, you can sort on cell color.

  84. Moving to pharma from frontline healthcare*

    I transitioned from a career in the UK NHS as a healthcare professional to working for a pharmaceutical company. Happy to answer questions on how I’ve found it, what skills you need, approach etc….
    Speaking to colleagues in other countries who’ve had a similar career path, I think the challenges and rewards are similar
    PS I’m at work so replies will be later this eve

    1. Merp*

      I love the fast-paced, higher intensity of hospital work, but at some point will have to reckon the absolutely dismal salary compared to industry. For a fellow HCP who is a mild adrenaline junkie, and also has quite a bit of executive dysfunction, would I be doomed to fail in pharma? Would certain positions within pharma be better suited for me than others? I think I have a lot more questions but I’d better at least start there.

      1. Another PM*

        You’d probably be better off in a start up type environment – things are FAST and there is a lot of boom-bust where one trial is make or break for everyone. There is very little bureaucracy and people who can just jump into things and figure it out really thrive, for the most part.

        The difficulty is that at small/early places, they often need someone with experience because they don’t have enough people to train someone, or they are all scientists but now are ready to file new drug applications and need a regulatory expert to tell them what to do. So in your case, maybe you start briefly at a bigger, slower place with lots of people and then get into a small fast place.

        There are many different jobs for HCPs: supply chain often works with pharmacists, medical affairs communicates data with key opinion leaders and it’s helpful for someone who already has relationships with clinicians, medical writing for writing out dosing protocol and the like (though I would NOT recommend that for an adrenaline junkie!), DSPV/safety to look at medical safety signals (also probably not for your personality type), medical monitors who track trial progress, patient advocacy to interface with patient groups and understand what parts of their diseases really bother them and how we can design the drugs to help, and more that I can’t think of immediately.

  85. Statler von Waldorf*

    I have over 20 years of experience in HR and accounting in Canada. If anyone is wondering how tax and labour laws are different up here in the Great White North, let me know.

    Here’s a freebie that I like to share. Unlike our American friends to the south, in many provinces, you can absolutely be fired for discussing your salary with your co-workers, though the employer will have to pay severance. Most labor laws in Canada are provincial, and there is no federal equivalent to the NLRA. The provinces with pay transparency laws that protect your rights to discuss your salary are BC, Ontario, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, and PEI.

    1. Jane Bingley*

      Random question I should know the answer to: is it normal to have a contract for employment in Canada? I’ve always had a contract, but I’ve also never worked in the for-profit sector, and I’m astounded and horrified every time Alison says it’s unusual to have a contract in the US. They’re not complicated – a few pages detailing my salary and benefits, key HR policies, and usually some kind of privacy/confidentiality agreement.

      1. Statler von Waldorf*

        In my experience, a formal contract is uncommon. I’ve only had a formal contact once, and that was when I was working for a law firm that had unusually strict confidentiality requirements. As a rule, you are more likely to see formal contract from large corporations, you almost never see formal contracts used in small business. I have never worked in the non-profit sector, so I’m less sure about the norms in that area.

        What is more common is a more informal mixture of a verbal and written contracts. Depending on the industry, there will probably be a page with salary info on it for you to sign, plus a few forms that will vary based on industry. These forms will include tax forms, and may also include privacy policies, drug testing policies, safety policies, confidentiality polices, the “of course I read every word of that 300 page safety manual” disclaimer, or any other industry-specific agreements that the employer wants to have in writing. This varies a lot based on both the industry and the province.

    2. chili oil*

      Also, you can be taken to court for quitting with no/little notice. Two court cases recently in BC. The employers lost because they failed to prove monetary damage, but it’s a thing that can happen.

      1. Statler von Waldorf*

        This is true, but it is extremely rare. I’ve seen it happen once in my 20 years, and even then it never went to court. It was simply brought up as a possibility as part of the exit negotiations between the soon-to-be-ex employee and the employer.

        To win the case, the employer needs to prove damages caused by you leaving without notice, and the time and costs in replacing the employee are not considered valid. So unless you are a top salesman who took your contacts with you after you quit without notice, it’s not something I would lose sleep over.

    3. So Very Anonymous Today*

      The contract I signed when I started my job several years ago included a clause that I have to give 2 months notice when I quit. It doesn’t seem reasonable but I did sign the contract – what are the consequences if I only give three weeks notice?

      1. Statler von Waldorf*

        That would depend entirely on the contract. I’m not a lawyer and I’m not giving out legal advice, so I will simply state that you would need to speak to a lawyer licensed in your province about your specific contract to get an answer to that question.

        Speaking in general terms, failure to give contractually obligated notice would probably be considered a breach of contract, and you would likely be legally held responsible for any penalties stated in that contract for breaching it. I am unaware of any laws that state otherwise, but again, I am not a lawyer.

        The argument could be made that the costs of suing you for this breach (probably around $30,000-40,000 CAD) is probably much higher than any damages they could collect from you, so you don’t need to worry. I haven’t read your contract and I don’t know what it lists for damages, so I can’t confirm or deny that argument.

    4. General Question*

      Do the terms exempt and non-exempt that are used in the US to describe workers roughly line up with salaried and hourly employees in Canada? (e.g. if I am salaried, does my employer have to pay me for the whole week even I do only an hour of work that week?) If not, what are the major differences?

      1. Statler von Waldorf*

        Sorry, my lunch is over and I got slammed at work today, so I’ll have to give you the short version, which is that they don’t line up very much at all.

        Most Canadian employees, regardless of how they are paid, are entitled to overtime pay unless a specific exemption applies. These exemptions are based on provincial law, vary from province to province, and are way too numerous to list.

        It does go both ways. If you are salaried, you are not entitled to get paid for the entire week if you only work one hour. Your salary can be pro-rated to your hours worked legally. Usually the employers I’ve seen just pay the entire salary for employee morale reasons, but I’ve seen it get pro-rated and legal signed off on that when the employee challenged it.

    5. Medium Sized Manager*

      I moved from the US to Canada a few years ago, and HR told my manager that the job title was important because the government validates it for salary accuracy/equity. Is that true? What goes into that process?

    1. knxvil*

      This caught my attention, actually, because I’m considering relocating from Atlanta to Chattanooga. This might be a wildly tangential question, but do you enjoy the area? Are there any nuances I should consider that aren’t well known? I’ve lived in Tennessee before, but it was in Nashville. Chattanooga seems to be more of what I’m looking for (i.e., nobody drunkenly throwing chairs off of rooftops, wholly different tourist vibe, still a city but far enough away from big ones to feel quiet without being too rural), so I’m eager to pick the brain of a local. I have a fully remote job, so having fun stuff to draw me out of the house is also a plus!

      1. Emily*

        It’s a good town. I’ve been here since 2014, so it’s definitely expanded a lot. I like it though. Lots of good music and restaurants.

  87. Too Long Til Retirement*

    I know a lot about plants, if they can grow from the middle of the country to the East Coast. I can’t help much with desert/California plants, and houseplant and turf knowledge is low. I also hate lawns so take that for what you will.

    My question would be: how possible is it to turn this plant knowledge into a thriving career, especially if I am TERRIBLE at self-imposed deadlines and self-motivation?

    1. kbeers0su*

      If you know enough about agricultural crops, or enough about fruit and vegetable plants, I would encourage you to look at jobs in Extension. This is the arm of any Land Grant University, which is funded by the USDA, and does a lot of work out in the public teaching folks things that are based in agriculture (but also other things, too). More rural areas typically look for folks with traditional agricultural training/backgrounds, but urban areas are looking for folks who know more about what most folks would grow in/around their home.

      1. Too Long Til Retirement*

        Thank you! I do know about Extension offices, but I live in a very urban area. We have a few scattered around, but I don’t see jobs open very often. I work as a landscape designer now, it’s just a hard field to be in sometimes.

    2. Margaret Cavendish*

      Do you want to work with plants specifically, or are you okay working with people who work with plants? Every organization needs accountants, HR people, admin assistants, etc. So if you can find a way to do one of those jobs in an organization that works with plants, that might be a good way to get started.

      1. Too Long Til Retirement*

        I was vague on purpose, but I definitely already work with plans and do not want to do admin work or HR. Numbers are hard for me so that sort of job is out too.

    3. Ocotillo Blossom*

      Ever thought about landscape architecture as a career? Or even landscape design at a more entry level if you aren’t interested in getting a degree.

      1. Too Long Til Retirement*

        Haha that was my degree and that is what I am doing now pretty much. It’s kind of a one way ticket to burnoutland, even in my position which is quite possibly the lowest pressure of them all.

  88. Two cents*

    How do I prepare colleagues for my rapidly upcoming parental leave? I do change management/adoption support for a 50 person HR team and pretty much touch everything that goes on. I’ve drafted a support document that lays out upcoming milestones, expected needs, and recommended templates and drafts. My manager hasn’t identified who’s going to be doing what, and people have told me they’re nervous about that. I just know it’s not going to be me – I plan to take the 6 months leave I can cobble together. Any advice on how to support my team before I go out in about 6 (eek!) weeks?

    1. A Simple Narwhal*

      First off, congrats! Secondly, I think you need to have a come-to-jesus with your manager (assuming they’re being casual about this, but the nerves of your coworkers makes me thinks this might be the case). You are rapidly approaching the point in which you could leave at any minute (hopefully you’ll make it full term but things happen!) so they need to have a plan in place asap. I’ve read stories of managers who think a due date is set in stone so perhaps they think they have a solid 6 weeks to figure things out, make sure they know it might not be the case. They should also know that when you are on leave, you are absolutely unavailable to assist with anything work-related so there is no back-up plan of “just asking you a quick question”.

      So hopefully you and your manager get on the same page, it sounds like that’s really the only thing you need to do. It’s awesome that you’ve come up with your planning document, it should be really helpful for your manager to look at it and redistribute your duties and assignments while you’re on leave. But it is on your manager to do that – you can’t just assign work to colleagues, the manager needs to manage that. If after all that they don’t make a plan? It’s not your job to figure it out. And if there’s not a plan in place when you go on leave, oh well! They’ll make it work, just like they would make it work if you won the lottery and immediately quit and moved to a private island with no internet or cell service.

      In the meantime you can tell your colleagues that you created a planning document, and [manager] is going to reassign it across the team. Let them know that you have your ducks in a row, and it’s up to your manager to do the rest.

      Good luck with everything! I hope the next 6 weeks are uneventful. :-) (I have a 19 month old so feel free to ask any follow up questions on navigating working motherhood/etc!)

    2. Cheezmouser*

      I just came back in January from maternity leave for kid #3. I second the advice above about how there’s only so much you can do to prepare and then it’s on your manager.

      I usually create a spreadsheet listing out all of my ongoing responsibilities, current projects, meetings that I run, etc. I have columns for who is assigned to cover each during my leave (I made suggestions and then reviewed with my manager to get their approval), notes on what to do/what to watch for, deadlines, and links to relevant docs (project plans, how-to docs, etc.) After my manager approved the coverage assignments, I briefed my team on the overall plan and shared the link to the doc. Then I scheduled 1on1 meetings with each person who will be covering something for me to go over what they need to do, answer questions, provide training if needed, etc. If something was assigned to a person on another team, I reached out to that team’s manager to ensure it was okay (again, after my manager approved it) and then reached out to that individual. Timing-wise, I scheduled my maternity leave to start 2 weeks prior to due date, and started sharing out the plan and holding the 1on1 meetings about 3-4 weeks prior to my last day in office (so around 5-6 weeks prior to due date). I held one more team check in 1 week prior to my last day. I also notified any external contacts and people in other departments I frequently collaborate with about my leave about 4 weeks prior to my last day in office to let them know who they should contact in my absence.

      After that, you’ve done your due diligence so it’s time to let it go. I’ve once come back from leave to discover that nothing, zero, nada, zilch on my spreadsheet had been done while I was out. The building did not fall down and no one died, so it was fine.

  89. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat*

    I’ve worked zoos, libraries, teaching at grade school level and university students, high-end hotels, UI design, and archiving and cataloging pre-modern Japanese translations… If you have questions about having a finger in every pot you can find, send them my way!

    My question (which is directly related to my expertise) is that I feel like I never have any authority in any of the jobs I have… I’m well above entry level now, but I can never seem to get promoted in a timely manner, so I get frustrated and within two years I’ve jumped ship for somewhere else. Does anyone have any advice for sticking through with a job until you get the respect you deserve? Thanks!

      1. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat**

        Do internships! A lot of zoos have specific programs for teenagers that want to get involved that have a wide array of different responsibilities. Other private institutions like aquariums, vets, and pet shelters also offer volunteer positions and can be a great way to see if you can handle the stress and emotional weight of being responsible for animals. Encourage them to take courses in biology, zoology, and education (a lot of places want people with animal handling and public outreach experience!).

    2. Paint N Drip*

      UI design – seems like my PERFECT job but I can’t find any details about the specific skills/certifications/education that could help me transition from administrative work (and lots of design hobby skills/interest) to UI. Do you have any thoughts or your path you could share?

      1. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat**

        My particular path was: I was a hobby artist as well, and participated in a month-long game jam, where I was tasked with creating a UI for our game. It was a dinky little thing that ran on duct tape and hope, but I learned so much through trial by fire. That way, I also had a working portfolio of the programming I did to implement it as well as the actual UI pieces I had created; knowing how to actually implement the art assets was a huge plus on my resume! After that, I would just dig through old websites and challenge myself to make them more intuitive, more appealing, etc. and would create specific portfolios based on my changes. The biggest thing is your portfolio, so while you have stable work I recommend polishing it to a shine, and then hunting down dev teams looking for a UI designer. You can look through places like fiverr to get a good idea of what people are looking for, even if you don’t use the service directly.

  90. Pippa K*

    Not sure this will be of interest here, but I’m the editor of an academic journal. Happy to answer questions about peer review, how this part of academic publishing works, why nobody gets paid for this, etc.

    2. FormerLegalAssistant*

      Has AI writing been a problem for you yet? I copy edit for a journal, and I’ve had to send back a few with some really suspicious citations lately.

      1. Pippa K*

        We’re braced for it – my journal hasn’t seen it yet, but our publisher has prepared trainings and info to help editors spot it. (I recently had a grad student submit an AI generated paper, so I have no illusions that people won’t do this crap with submitted articles too. Sigh.)

    3. ArtsNerd*

      Do reviewers actually check the footnotes? I once spent HOURS diving into citations looking for a specific medical case in literature that several articles referenced but none of the citations actually led to the original case writeup. I ended up finally finding it separately. As a layperson that was pretty concerning!

      1. Pippa K*

        I’m in the social sciences, so there may be some differences to the medical literature. We don’t expect peer reviewers to check the cites, but I do if something looks fishy. And we sometimes find errors when copy editing for publication, but very rarely deliberate misrepresentations. I’ve seen some plagiarism, though – which gets the author on my ‘banned forever’ list.

    4. Sapientia*

      Any tips on how to get an article published when you are not part of a university or something similar? Would you just send an excerpt for an article to a fitting journal? Is there any formal introduction process or the need to send a resume?

      1. Pippa K*

        Most journals have online submission portals where you create an account, upload your article, and include further info like a cover letter and abstract. Every submission to my journal gets treated the same way, whether the author has a university affiliation or not, or is a faculty member or grad student, etc.

        But if you’re not sure whether a particular journal is an appropriate place to submit your article, it’s usually ok to send the editor a quick email to ask, with a brief description (not excerpt) of the piece. Good luck!

  91. Abe Froman*

    Non-profit management
    Program recruitment (for youth and young adults)
    Mentor program management
    Public speaking

    1. Abe Froman*

      I guess I should offer context. My career has been mostly in youth and young adult development, education, leadership development, etc. I currently work in recruiting youth into our enrichment program and also manage our youth mentoring program.

    2. KTM*

      I’m currently in engineering management and potentially looking to move over to non-profit management. I’ve served on boards before and have been in volunteer positions supporting the management of non-profits previously but never as a paid ED role. Would you suggest any formal education? (MBA, a focused degree on non profit management, etc) Or are my skills reasonably transferrable if I have leadership, mentorship, project management experience etc.?

      1. Abe Froman*

        Great question! I think it’s going to come down to the type of non-profit and their field, I think. I’m in an education-based org, but not on the programming side. I don’t have an advanced degree. If I wanted to get into programming, I would almost certainly need an education master’s to make the switch. There’s just so much theory and best practice that you need to be aware of. For many orgs and many, though, you could definitely show how your for-profit experience translates. Also highlighting things like board membership will go a long way as well.

    3. ferrina*

      How do you design a mentorship program to get the most benefit?

      We tried to start a mentorship program, but most people have one or two meeting and then don’t know what to talk about or how to utilize the relationship (this is true of both mentees and mentors). Are there particular activities or prompts that help people understand how to benefit in a mentorship program?

      1. Abe Froman*

        I think mentoring is one of those things that people have a pretty strong idea of what is it and what its for, but when it comes down to actually doing it, there can be a lot of ambiguity. Like there’s a sense of “How do I actually DO this?” So I would say some really clear goals for the program and having at the very least a launch guide, something that gives them some clarity on where to start the conversations. Ideally, if you have the bandwidth, having a a full year (or whatever time) guide to give thoughts on what to do, conversations they should be having, etc. Mentoring dot org can be really helpful with that, they have a good amount of resources you can use. I would also say the younger your participants (either as mentee or mentor), the greater the need for structure and guidance. Also, its important to note the level of organizational buy-in for the mentoring program. It takes a lot to launch a program, so its vital that the org is willing to put time and money behind it to do it well.

    4. dawbs*

      repeating this from upthread, because it fits here too:

      If my workplace has…”stuff” specifically for special needsfamilies, how do we get the information to be spread?

      I work education adjacent (think library- but that’s not quite it :) and we’ve worked really REALLY hard in getting special needs programming up and off the ground. But then there was a pandemic and a whole bunch of changes to how things worked. We still have the programming but we struggle to get local families and schools to know it exists (and at some point, my employer might cut it back if we don’t get more folks involved).

      I can do more outreach to them if i only know how–I can get info to schools, but not to special ed only.
      (And I can change things–if families need something different, I can pivot –we’ve had “please take this survey” things a few times and we’ve taken into account as much feedback as possible)

  92. Awkwardness*

    I am looking for advice on checklists or any other system to track To Dos, be it at work or in private life.
    I try really hard to use them, be it Kanban Boards, Lists in Word or Excel or Outlook Tasks, but always end up again and again with tons of snippets or screenshots or printouts or open tabs that remind me of things.

    1. Lifelong Learner*

      You mileage may vary, but I’ve gone straight-analog. There’s a pre-formatted pad on Amazon (called the ‘Make it Happen’ to do list) that I love to use where I just write down what I need to get done in a day. It separates everything out by priority and it’s really been helpful.

      1. not applicable*

        Seconded here; I have a three tier system going on at work that essentially works like a Kanban board.

        Tier 1: at the beginning of the payperiod (or a short period of time for personal things), brain dump all the crap I feel like I have to get done in the next two weeks on a small whiteboard/notebook
        Tier 2: choose some things to throw up on my big board as to-do list items for the day/week (however long it takes to get things done)
        Tier 3: as things inevitably pop up for my list, write it on the small board or notebook as pop-up items that I can choose to handle either this week as filler items (or as big items if they’re higher priority) or as the highest priority for next week.

    2. Margaret Cavendish*

      My advice would be to make peace with the snippets and screenshots that remind you of things! If that’s the way your brain works, then you’re better off leaning into it rather than fighting against it. There are lots of products that allow you to work this way – off the top of my head, there’s Microsoft OneNote, Google Keep, and Evernote.

      Printouts and open tabs are less reliable, but screenshots and snippets and bookmarks are great. You don’t need to overhaul your entire system, just tweak it a bit to make it less messy. Good luck!

      1. Awkwardness*

        Unfortunately screenshots do not give reminders. It happend multiple times that I took a screenshot/photo of an interesting event and only re-discovered the photo after the event.

        At work I will not forget anything if I go through my screenshots on a regular basis, but it gets frustrating if boss wants to have a list of open topics (and I need to compose it from scratch) or if done topics are in the Excel list of the team and others in another format as screenshots.

        1. Margaret Cavendish*

          You can definitely assign reminders in Google Keep – I do this multiple times a day! Create your screenshot, drop it into a note, add a reminder, go on with your life. I assume the other products can do it as well, but I don’t have them available offhand.

          What are you doing with your screenshots currently? Do you paste them or save them somewhere, or just leave them sitting on your clipboard? Because yeah, that’s going to be a recipe for disaster – it’s too easy to close them accidentally, or if your computer shuts down unexpectedly, then of course they’re gone. But if you’re already in the habit of saving them somehow – even just to your desktop – you already have the routine. So it’s just a matter of tweaking it a bit, and saving to Keep (or wherever) instead of your current location.

    3. anycat*

      thank you for asking this! i feel like i tend to start multiple to do lists and then lose sight of things.

    4. MHG*

      I LOVE the app/website TeuxDeux. I use it for both personal and work stuff. It does charge, but I happily pay because it keeps me organized. You can schedule out to-dos however long you need to, you can do recurring to-dos, and you even see a cute little cat animation when you mark an item off.

    5. FuzzBunny*

      I know you said you don’t love lists, but one challenge with the options you’ve mentioned so far is that you have to go to a separate app to access them. The game-changer for me was the Todoist app (specifically the desktop version). I can be in any other program, hit control-space, and it opens a window where I can use natural language (“buy milk today at 5pm” or “read [pasted link] tuesday”). So the thought occurs to me, I do this, and then I know it’s been recorded and I can close the tab or whatever. I can organize by projects, add tags, have pop-up reminders. You do have to pay, but it’s worth every penny IMO.

    6. Mad Harry Crewe*

      I started dot journaling a year ago (almost exactly – I think next week is my anniversary?). I’m not doing anything fancy, and it ebbs and flows how much I’m using it, but I’ve found that I LOVE having a place to dump Future Stuff with buckets for next year, later this year, later this month, or later this week. I really liked Dot Journaling: A Practical Guide by Rachel Miller – the book is organized really well and she has lots of example spreads with variations, so you can find a layout that makes you happy (vertical, horizontal, detailed, basic, one page, two page, etc). She’s also very much *not* prescriptive. When I started, I picked layouts from her book that made sense, and then adjusted as I went forward – within a month or two I’d settled on the formats I’m still using.

      Here is how this works for me:
      – At the front of my journal, I have several pages for this year. Each month has a box and when I schedule something or know I’ll need to do something later, I just write it at the bottom of the list in the appropriate month. I don’t try to keep or put these in date order – they just need to be in the appropriate month. Stuff goes into these lists slowly and comes out all at once, when I create the monthly spread.

      – Front also has a page for Next Year stuff – this is mostly events that I want to try and go to, but far-out-scheduled appointments can also go here, or travel – whatever makes sense. Again, doesn’t go in any order, I just add new stuff to the bottom of the list.

      – Monthly spread – at the end of the month, I set up the next monthly spread. For me, this is a two-page spread that has a calendar with date/weekday, some trackers (fun stuff and self-care stuff), and boxes for each week of the month. During creation, I fill this in from the appropriate month’s list from the yearly spread at the front of the book. This is where things start to get organized – I can mark down important days (birthdays, appointments, vacation, events) and assign tasks to specific weeks. I come back to the monthly spread throughout the month to update the trackers and add items to the later weeks’ lists – for example, if I know I want to get Task done by the end of the month but I don’t want to deal with it right now, I might put it in the Week 3 box and make that a problem for future me to deal with.

      – Weekly spread – Sunday night, I create the next weekly spread. This is a two page agenda, with large boxes for each day of the week, the dates – it basically looks like a normal planner page. This is where things get really granular. I pull tasks/reminders/notes/events/etc from the monthly spread, plus unfinished stuff from the previous week, and assign it to specific days. I don’t rely on memory – if it needs to happen on that day, I write it down, even if it’s a recurring thing that happens every week. I add stuff to later days of the week as they come up, so if I realize on Tuesday that I need to go to the hardware store this weekend, I’ll add “hardware store” to Saturday and start making the hardware store list there as well. I usually have space in the weekly spread for short notes, or I can write longer thoughts on a blank page and then just note that page number as a redirect (“therapy thoughts – p52”).

      – Other one-off spreads – the beauty of the dot/bullet journal format is that it’s completely flexible. Because you’re creating the document one page at a time, you can always go to the next blank page and start a new thing. I keep lists of housework that needs doing, travel planning, diary-type entries, etc, and then point to or refer to them as needed. If a page gets too full or messy, I can make a clean copy further on in the book and transfer only what’s current. You’re never supposed to guess how much space you’re going to need and leave blank pages, every new thing just goes on the next blank page and the book fills up from front to back.

      I do use fun pens for the page headers and dates, but this is not an artistic endeavor – it is a functional organizational tool. My writing is my normal writing, sometimes it’s nicer, sometimes it’s a scrawl. I cross things out. Bullet Journals have become a major Thing in some circles, and that’s fine, but it’s not what I’m doing.

    7. ccsquared*

      Software is both my day job and one of my hobbies, so I have tried a LOT of tools (including analog options). By far, the biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is that no tool will solve for making planning/review a habit, and without the habit, it becomes tempting to switch tools without really understanding specifically how the tool supports or detracts from your own way of working. So what I’d recommend is doing some sort of daily and weekly or biweekly process of review with whatever you have. As you do this, jot down what is working well with your tools and what you feel is lacking. After about a month you should have a solid habit and a solid list of notes; these are your requirements for a task list tool. For each requirement, note if it’s a *must* have for your process, something ideally the tool *should* have, something the tool *could* have, but that you’ll forgo for a must or should, or something the tool *won’t* have because you’ve decided you don’t need it or it’s not realistic. (BAs/PMs will recognize this as the MoSCoW method.) Once you have that, read reviews, browse websites, or just ask around to find something that will meet all of your musts, most or all of your shoulds, and hopefully some of your coulds. (All of the specific tools I have tried are mentioned elsewhere on this thread, so you have a good starting point on this step already!)

    8. Sapientia*

      My analog bullet journal works best for me, plus an easily accessible checklist app on my phone.

      The tip that helped me most was to have only one or two distinct places where you can find all your tasks. There you can also add where to find more info about the task.

      Also, your system has to be fitted to your needs. Use what is most comfortable for you right now.

    9. NetNrrd*

      take pictures of my notes and add them as attachments to trello cards or my to-do list reminder app items or whatever I’m using at that time. A lot of systems allow you to generate a card/item/whatever via email, so I can email myself a pic of the note, for instance.

    10. Nina_B*

      I quite like ToDoIst and have it linked to my google home screen or bookmarked to open automatically in Chrome. There’s separate lists (they call them Projects) for Home/Work or custom ones you can create, with subtasks, reminders etc.

    2. Ostrich Herder*

      I don’t use the scheduling components a whole lot, but if you have non-scheduling Squarespace questions I can probably answer them! Building Squarespace sites is a huge part of my job, I’ve launched over a hundred in the last five years.

    1. Dinosaur Sr.*

      Any idea why I’m comparing 2 Word docs – one is 12 pages and the other is 81 – my comparison result only has 12 pages. I think I have my track changes/review settings wrong.

      1. hiptobesquare*

        You do need to have track changes on in order for it to pick up the changes. I just tested it without track changes on and it didn’t find any differences which… isn’t accurate…

    2. Emmie*

      I am buying a new laptop soon. My old laptop takes forever to start up. I could do a better job keeping them up to date. What recommendations do you have for me? What’s the best anti-virus software?

      1. hiptobesquare*

        Keeping your drivers up to date is very important – I have old machines I still use that as long as I keep them updated, they more or less do what I want them to. I know for sure that Dell and Lenovo have a tool that you can set so your drives auto-update. I’m sure other products have them as well but I can’t speak to that. Critically, if your operating system is no longer getting updates, it’s time for a new computer or an operating system update – if you are working on an outdating OS, you are more open for security risks (this advise goes for everything, including your cell phone).

        I would make sure you have a solid state drive and at least 16GB of RAM for daily computing. If you buy a new Windows machine, it comes with Windows Defender which is actually pretty decent!

      2. hiptobesquare*

        Keeping your laptop up to date is very important! On the Windows side, I know for sure Dell and Lenovo have built in apps to update your drivers (I’m sure others do as well but I can’t speak to that). Critically (and this is with everything), if your operating system is no longer receiving updates, it’s time to upgrade the OS or replace the device all together.

        For standard computing, as long as you have a solid state drive and a minimum of 16GB of RAM, you should be fine. More RAM can never hurt but the more you add, the less effective each gig is.

        Windows 11 comes with Windows Defender which is pretty legit for built in virus protection.

  95. stelms_elms*

    Has anyone implemented a successful employee recognition program that involves more than handing out certificates or similar items where employees truly feel valued and recognized? Our unit has 150 people, including trade workers and executives.

    1. Lab Boss*

      Not my implementation but my spouse works in health care. They have “appreciation weeks” for the different segments (think a “Nurse week” or a “Physical Therapist week”), which usually involves being called out in the facility-wide e-mails for all the work they do, and some daily (relatively inexpensive) treats exclusively for the segment being appreciated. It’s not individual recognition, but they does like having their (often overlooked) specialty get some attention.

    3. Oof and Ouch*

      The biggest thing is to actually reward the employees in some way.

      Our system uses a graduated reward scale where management takes a look at something we want to recognize and then let employees pick out a gift card for their recognition. The big thing is that you have to be consistent. If Fred gets $100 for a full month of perfect llama grooming, then Ethel has to get the same thing if she does it. PTO is also a great one if you can do it.

      If you don’t have the budget for something like this, or if the reward isn’t on par with the effort the employee puts out, then you’re probably not going to get very far in my experience.

    5. ferrina*

      We sometimes do interviews with high achievers. This has gotten a lot of support- we have a great interviewer that makes it really comfortable, and people feel like they are really seen. And a lot of people really enjoy watching the interviews too. It’s mostly focused on career- how did you get to where you are now, what is your special skill/workplace superpower, what advice do you have looking to develop this skill? But there’s also some silly questions.

      It’s not exactly a reward system, more of a public recognition.

    6. NetNrrd*

      I’m having similar questions, but with a bonus challenge that we’ve got both on-site and remote/hybrid workers including folks who live in another state. Following with interest.

  96. Zombeyonce*

    I do a lot of web accessibility work. I can answer questions on how someone who enters content (not developer/programmer) can make it accessible to lots of different audiences. Especially for images you’re uploading!

    1. just here for the scripts*

      Me too—with text formatting and lowering the reading level to <grade 8 is my superpower (also helps with translations).

    2. ferrina*

      Any tips for designing/upgrading a B2B website? We’re beginners, and we need to revamp our website for a business audience from a lot of different industries. What are the basic things we need to keep in mind as we are designing?

      Also- any tips on blogs/books/podcasts/other resources where we should be studying up?

  97. A Simple Narwhal*

    Not sure if this is any interest but my coworkers think I’m some type of wizard whenever I do it, so here goes! I’m apparently very good at documenting processes.

    1. Chaos coordinator*

      This is something that I am trying to get better at. I’m pretty good at updating processes but wondering how do you start this from scratch?

      1. EO*

        I’m good at this too. I’d say try really hard not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. If your first draft is three bullet points, go with it. Next time you do the process, expand it to five bullet points with a couple sub-bullets. One of the biggest barriers to documenting processes is the time cost. Building up the document over time allows you to spread that out.

      2. Ann on a Moose*

        I wrote an initial document for just my site that (with some minor edits and some added screenshots) became the standard process document for my entire organization for setting up PCs.

        I wrote most of it as I went through the process of setting up my newly assigned PC when we were moving from Windows 7 to 10. I’d set up an app, and then document how I did it on the other machine as I went. If you’re creating documentation for processes that exist, don’t worry about what should be, just write down what is.

        As an aside, please make sure you credit people who help you in drafting or whose drafts you polish before you go and publish the documentation. It may not seem like much, but it doesn’t feel great seeing someone else’s name on a document you worked hard on and yours is nowhere to be found.

      3. A Simple Narwhal*

        I totally get that it can be hard starting from scratch! When I start documenting something, I start with a numbered list of basic overarching steps. So for example, if you need to upload something into your system, it might look like:

        1. Get document
        2. Upload document to system

        From there, you break it down into more steps:

        1. Get document
        a. You should receive this in an email from documentteam @ company . com every month.
        2. Upload document to system
        a. Go to [website]

        And then break it down even further! Overall you want to and try to answer the question of “could I give this to a complete stranger and have them follow it?” So that might involve explaining where the document comes from, naming conventions, file formats, etc. And then where is the system – is it a website? What’s the url? How do they log in? Etc. So the next break down might look like:

        1. Get document
        a. You should receive this in an email from documentteam @ company . com every month.
        b. It should be a .csv file, if it isn’t, send it back to them to reformat
        c. When you save it to your computer, make sure the file name is all lowercase
        2. Upload to system
        a. Go to [website]
        i. url: X
        ii. login info: X
        b. click this
        c. then this
        d. then this
        3. Possible issues: X
        a. steps to take to resolve
        4. Success looks like this: X
        5. Steps to take after: X

        I usually walk through the process myself, making sure to take note of every step as I do it. Once I’ve written it all down, I go back and take screen grabs of most of the steps where it would enhance the directions. Such as when you say to click on a certain button or fill out a specific field – it can be really helpful to have a visual element, so a screengrab of that part of the page with a box around the button. (I like to use snagit – they make it really easy to capture and markup screengrabs and insert it into the documentation)

        Sometimes it can feel like you’re being overly specific, but remember that you have your own knowledge filling in the gaps. Other people don’t have that knowledge and all the extra details will be very helpful for them.

        Once you’ve documented something if you can have someone else follow it and try and perform the task it will really test the documentation. Ideally they should be able to do it with no additional help. If they have any questions, then that’s something that should go into the documentation. Even if it’s just a tip rather than a direction, such as “Note: this may take a while to load, don’t worry if it just sits for a minute” or “Note: the screen may go black when you hit enter but that’s normal”, that can be really helpful too.

        Hope that’s helpful!

    2. I edit everything*

      I’ll take any general advice you have. We’ve implemented a new reservation system, and I’m the primary user, but there will come a day when other people will need to be able to make it work, so I’m trying to document the different processes as I go. I’m pretty good at picking things up intuitively, but they need step-by-step instructions.

      1. A Simple Narwhal*

        I posted above about starting with big overarching steps, then breaking it down into the smaller pieces, and then adding important details or helpful things to know, so check that out! Another good way to document is to just go through the process yourself, but write down literally everything you do as you do it. Every click, every time you hit a key, you want that documented. It’s almost impossible to be overly detailed with these things – it’s good to assume the person following the instructions knows nothing, and they’ll appreciate a screengrab pointing to the button they need to click or a list of what piece of information goes into which form line.

        Once you have it documented, ask someone to follow them without your help, but watch them do it. Any time they look confused or ask you a question, that means you should add something to your documentation. It might be a suggestion to go in a certain order, or a heads up that certain things take a while to load so they’ll just need to wait, or who to contact if something goes wrong. The more detail the better!

    3. not applicable*

      Would LOVE some general guardrails on how you do this in a quick and readily understandable fashion!

      1. A Simple Narwhal*

        I wrote out some general advice above, but the way to take documentation to the next level is to use screengrabs! It’s so much easier for someone to understand “Click the button that says ‘dog clinic entry’, with a picture of the screen with that button circled, than just the direction alone. You know it’s in the lower left corner, but they’re going to spend time searching around the screen for it. A quick picture cuts all of that out!

  98. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

    Every supervisor I have ever had has noted that my super power is using humor very effectively and appropriately in the workplace. I’m just a silly goose, but in a professional way. If that’s helpful to anyone, hmu.

      1. Schmitt*

        Love this; me too. Recently, I was voluntold to present my team at an internal meeting, with five minutes’ notice. I am good at off-the-cuff, and I ended up telling a story about our current project that roughly went:

        So imagine our current system is an octopus, and it’s got all its tentacles in places where they don’t really belong. We’re busy chopping the tentacles off one by one, and eventually there will only be the octopus head left, which we will then replace with a mf’ing UNICORN.

      2. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

        The best joke I ever told was something I can’t tell here, because it would absolutely out my identity and I want to stay anonymous, but to prove my credentials it was repeated to the vice president over my department (four levels above me) and they have now co-opted it and credit me. I’ve never been more proud.

        Some good standbys I have though:
        “What did the beluga say to the orca? Whale, whale, whale!”
        “What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaaah!” (in the style of the 5th symphony.)

        Part of my work involves consulting and I’ve often said to tough or nervous clients, as they explain things to me and I catch on or understand, “Ah yes, I smell what you are cooking” and that has put more than one defensive client at ease.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          Very cool that high-level management has adopted your joke, thank you for answering!

      1. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

        I actually WFM 100% so it’s more like, imagine a goose in a little pair of pajamas with messy hair LOL. But I’m now tempted to make an avatar of a goose in a suit.

    3. Sapientia*

      Have you trained your sense of humour in any way or made conscious adjustments for the workplace? If so, how did you do it?

      1. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

        Absolutely! My own sense of humor is pretty sarcastic and sometimes leans towards dark humor. I pretty much abandon the dark humor at work, although the right level of sarcasm, if paired with a warm style and not a negative one, can be very effective.

        I have gotten very good at kind of automatically filtering for jokes or comments that might just be a little too edgy. I think a lot of that is instinct from experience, although I cannot recall any times I’ve really stepped in it. When I do worry I’ve made a joke that doesn’t land well, I just circle back and check in with them – like, “Hey, I think that comment I made might have been a little too punchy. I hope I didn’t offend you – if I did I apologize!” I cant remember anyone ever having been offended, so I think my approach works.

        I also avoid leaning too hard into humor with clients at the very beginning. Most of my clients are internal, but if I were working with external clients I’d leave the warm communication style, take out the jokes.

  99. Title Insurance Agent*

    I can answer questions about title insurance, title research, endorsements, etc. Laws and practices vary state to state but many of the basics are universal. (In the US)

  100. MrsPookie*

    I’ve worked remote for years and have mastered how to feel connected with my team. If you are new to remote work and need ideas on how to connect with internal customers and co workers- let me know!

    1. Ashley*

      Did you ever have a co-worker that was in person and just forgot about you most of the time? Kind of an out of sight out of mind issue. I tend to be remote randomly along with a few others but they don’t want to bother us if we aren’t in the office…despite explaining we are still working just in a different locale. Their manager isn’t the strongest but has the same problem with them when they work remote and has been frustrated they won’t call / text on remote days.

    2. ferrina*

      We have several teams that work remotely. Each team communicates well within their own team, but they feel disconnected from other teams. Their work overlaps, but they don’t work on the same projects together. I’ve tried doing a couple group events, but gotten pushback on “I’m too busy” (while they are complaining that they feel disconnected).

      Any thoughts?

    3. Mad Harry Crewe*

      Onboarding remote – what are your tips for onboarding as a new hire on a remote team? I started my current job in person and then went home in March 2020. We’ve onboarded new people, but I was always in the comfortable position of being part of the established team. I’m starting to look around and the prospect of onboarding into a remote team is a little intimidating.

      1. ferrina*

        I do onboarding at my company, and we do a lot of remote people. Some of the things I recommend:
        -make the informal training into semiformal training. So schedule time to shadow someone doing your daily tasks, and make sure someone shadows you (this is also important from a tech end- we’ve had several instances where someone either didn’t have access they should have had or had access they shouldn’t have had, and no one realized it until they were sharing their screen)
        -set up coffee meetings with the key people you’ll be working with, both on and off your team. This should be set up in the first month. This is to get acquainted with folks, but I also like to ask “how can I make your life easier? what is one annoying thing that I might do that would make yourself harder? (so I know not to do it)”

  101. kbeers0su*

    I’m a farmer, have a paid 40 hour/week job in agriculture, and grew up on a farm.

    So I’m here for any farm/agriculture/gardening related things?

    1. Pippa K*

      Advice for water collecting/conservation for gardening in a dry area? Planning a rainwater barrel this year but would love other advice!

      1. kbeers0su*

        For rain collection, while you can use just about any container, using one designed for this purpose with a lid will help limit evaporation from the water you do collect. When watering, you want to go with a slow method that allows you to minimize the amount of water you’re actually using, while making the greatest impact on plants. (The expensive way to do that is drip irrigation. The cheap way is a simple soaker hose.) Use a deep ground cover like mulch or straw to help retain moisture. Only water in the morning/evening to prevent evaporation. And if you are in a place with high amounts of sun or high winds, both of these can also increase evaporation. So installing wind breaks around your plants and/or installing shade cloth above your garden (a thin cloth that filters the sun) will also help.

        1. Pippa K*

          Excellent, thank you! We do have a lot of wind, so my garden is partially sheltered by a barn wall, but I hadn’t thought of a sun shade. Maybe I can attach it to the deer fencing…off to look into this!

        2. KateM*

          So what I have done in my garden is to plant bigger plants (tomatoes, cucumbers, but not radishes nor carrots) with a drinking bottle each (half-litre plastic bottle turned into a funnel which ends right next to plant’s roots) and mulch heavily, and then I pour bottles full and don’t touch the rest. What’s your opinion of this?

          1. kbeers0su*

            If I’m understanding you correctly, you’ve turned bottles upside down, putting the drinking end down into the ground near each individual plant. This is a DIY version of the fancy water bulbs that people use for house plants, and can definitely work. Essentially, the water will slowly diffuse from the drinking end, which is sunk in the ground near the roots, as the soil around it has capacity for more moisture. There are several ways to modify this system. You can take the lid off the bottle before putting it into the ground, which will allow water to flow more quickly. Or you can leave the cap on, and around the top of the bottle you can poke small holes. Once you put the top into the ground, this will allow slower water flow. If you cut the bottom off the bottle before putting it in the ground, it makes it easier to refill and they can also naturally collect rainwater. However, if you leave the bottom on, you’re less likely to experience evaporation from the water bottle. So…I would say if this is a new system, keep an eye on your plants and look for classic symptoms of over/underwatering and make adjustments as needed.

            1. KateM*

              The bottoms are cut off (and I pour water in from that end, the bottles stay where they are all season) and caps are off as well, so it doesn’t diffuse slowly, but usually goes in rather fast.

              I mulch with cut grass from my own garden, I don’t use fertilizers or anything – so I hope it’s all right? Soil seems to stay nicely cool and moist under grass even when the top layer is dry, so I don’t water anywhere but in those bottles.

              1. kbeers0su*

                If your soil is staying damp, then that sounds like a great system! And mown grass is a great alternative to mulch, but most people don’t like the look. My neighbor does deep mulch around her tomatoes with her mown grass, and they are truly the best and most prolific tomato plants I’ve ever seen.

    2. Lifelong Learner*

      Should I take my local ‘frost dates’ as gospel, or do you think that once you get closer, checking on the forecast is sufficient to determine when to sow seeds or transplant?

      1. kbeers0su*

        I was just looking at my own seed packets to see if I have anything that could go in the ground, so I get where this question is coming from! Frost-free dates are good estimates, though even the Almanac provides a disclaimer that there’s a 30% chance of frost after the spring frost-free date. It’s all based on historical data, so there’s some validity to it. But, with climate change, we’ve even seen updates in recent years to planting zones (“plant hardiness zones”) so historical data isn’t always valid in the present. All gardening and farming is partly based on your risk tolerance, but you can combine information about your frost-free date with specific soil requirements for each type of plant you want to put in and make a pretty educated guess from there. For instance, our frost-free date is mid-May, but I have a few things that only require soil temperatures of 60 degrees. So I’m going to go ahead and risk it by planting some of those. Worst case scenario, the seeds rot and I replant in a few weeks. Mid-range scenario, the seeds are slow to start but still do something. Best case scenario, I get early greens! Transplants are a little bit touchier simply because they’re more exposed to the environment that seeds, so I would tend to be more conservative with planting those.

    3. PP*

      Hi kbersosu, I have a small community garden plot. How do I protect seedlings from getting eaten by earwigs? Any no-cost ideas? I have used Sluggo Plus in the past. Thanks!

      1. Dawn*

        Hi PP, I don’t have quite kbeers0su’s experience, but I think I can answer this one for you; I would recommend trying diatomaceous earth for earwigs. It’s not no-cost, but it’s pretty inexpensive. You can distribute it around the base of your plants, or directly on the sides of the box if you’re planting in a raised box or bed.

        It is particularly effective with earwigs, and it won’t cause harm to other pollinators visiting your garden.

        1. kbeers0su*

          Earwigs like to hide in dark, damp places (similar to slugs) so, unfortunately, a lot of gardens are prime hiding spots for them. I agree that using diatomaceous earth is a good option, especially in a community garden as it’s safe for humans as long as you don’t inhale it directly. To make it most effective, pull back any mulch or straw that is around the base of each plant (minimizing places to hide), then apply a complete ring around the base. Earwigs are most active early at night, so doing this in the late evening will give you the best results. The downside to diatomaceous earth is that it is deactivated as soon as it gets wet, so you will have to reapply it after every rain/watering. Another easy trap is a short container (cottage cheese size). Put about an inch of oil in it with some bacon grease, cut a small hole in the top, put the top on, and bury the container so that the top of the container is level with the ground. The earwigs will be attracted by the smell, will fall in, and won’t be able to get back out. Check the traps every morning, and dispose of the dead earwigs away from the garden as they give off strong pheromones and even dead ones will continue to attract more earwigs.

    4. ferrina*

      Pesticides in a home garden- I’ve never used them, and I’ve got an annoying amount of bugs. Some I don’t mind (I can handle cabbage moths in my kale) but some are causing big issues (mealybugs have effectively killed one of my trees).

      When should I use a pesticide, and what do I need to know about using pesticides?

      1. kbeers0su*

        Oooh. Ok, I have no experience with mealybugs. But what I’ve read is basically that they’re extremely difficult to get rid of because the eggs/nymphs are so small that typical methods for removal (washing the entire plant or spraying with insecticide) can’t get them out of all the little nooks and crannies. Most of the advice out there is that you just need to avoid getting them (super helpful). You say a tree, so assuming it’s not huge, I would recommend removing any parts that are heavily damaged/infested (double bag clippings and remove them from your property ASAP), wash it with warm water, and spot cleaning remaining issue areas with cotton balls/cotton swabs in 70% or less rubbing alcohol. (Spot check first to make sure it doesn’t burn the leaves on the tree.) And even with all of this, you’ll likely need to treat every few days to maybe get ahead of them.

      2. kbeers0su*

        And part 2- general discussion of whether to use insecticides- this is really up to you as an individual. I prefer not to use a ton of insecticides, but I also realize there are times where I can’t get ahead of the bugs. We hand pick Japanese beetles (pick them up and drop them in a jar of soapy water), but we use insecticides on some more tenacious bugs (like squash vine borers in our pumpkins). If you do decide to use insecticides, it’s important to know what insect you’re fighting. Sevin dust is a pretty basic one that will work on a lot of insects. But the “days to harvest” window is different for different plants- that is, the number of days you need to wait between when you apply the insecticide to the plant and when it’s safe to harvest anything from the plant for human consumption. So…the best advice I can give you is to read the tiny print on the back of any insecticide bottle. Make sure it can be used on the specific pest and type of plant, know the “days to harvest”, and know if it could be harmful to any other animals/fish/plants nearby. (Also, you can always call your local Extension office- this is part of what they do for the public. You let them know what you’re dealing with, and they can help advise you on what to use!)

        1. Dawn*

          Speaking as my region’s newest Master Gardener, I will also give a plug for reaching out to the Master Gardeners in your area for locality-specific advice! :)

    5. ferrina*

      I have a second question for you- how do you deal with sapplings? I have some trees that plants themselves then hide in a corner of my yard until suddenly they are 5 ft tall and hard to dig out.

      Any tips on sapling prevention/removal?

      1. kbeers0su*

        This partly depends on what type of saplings you’re seeing. Some sprout from the root of a nearby tree- the roots snake out into the surrounding area, and suddenly you have seemingly random saplings pop up. If that’s the case, the only way to completely stop the saplings is by killing the nearby tree and all of its roots. In the short-term, cutting them off as close to the ground may kill the saplings. Or you can apply a “shrub and stump killer” product to the saplings, and use the saplings themselves to help feed that herbicide back to the roots, thereby possibly stopping the saplings from growing all together. If it’s a corner of your yard where you’re seeing this, it could also be that you have debris, including seeds, landing there by wind and creating a mini compost pile that naturally helps the seeds to sprout. So it could just be making sure you clean that corner out through the fall and winter to remove any seeds. Or, maybe you have rogue squirrels and that’s the favorite hiding spot for nuts?

    6. Mel*

      I’m in north FL (where – yes, it freezes!) and planted cucumber seedlings about a month ago when lows were above 40 degrees. The leaves on all of them look good but the stems are looking very shriveled at the base. Any ideas on what’s wrong? Did I plant too early?

      1. kbeers0su*

        My suspicion is that the cold damaged the plants. But it could also be overwatering or underwatering (which usually affects the stem first). Cucumbers generally prefer warm weather, with soil temperatures at a minimum of 60 degrees and ideal soil temperatures above 70 degrees. I’m in Ohio and I don’t plant my cucumbers until June to make sure we’re beyond the possibility of low temperatures, and to move beyond the possibility of the spread of bacterial wilt (which also tends to be worse early in the season). If you’ve seen any cucumber beetles on your plants, they may have brought bacterial wilt to you, so that may also explain the damage to the stems. In any case, once the stem is damaged, there is nothing you can do to salvage them. I would remove them all, bag them, and dispose of them. Do not compost them in case it is a bacteria- you don’t want it to spread to any other plants.

    7. Ali + Nino*

      I think this is really cool!
      my understanding is American agricultural workers in general trend older and fewer young people are going into or staying in the field (pun intended ;) ). would you say this is accurate? If so, why do you think it is, and what do you think might be done to combat this trend?

      second question: Have you observed many people without your experience of living on a farm going into agriculture? Do most stick with it? What are some of the biggest obstacles, challenges, etc.?

      Lastly: what are your favorite and least favorite parts of working in agriculture?

      1. kbeers0su*

        The average age for American farmers is around 60 (depends on which data you look at). The issues are many that keep young folks from going into agriculture: ag land is expensive, especially when it’s good land; large farms will always be able to outbid small farms when land does come up for sale; older generations don’t have a retirement plan outside the farm, so their retirement is selling the farm; if a younger generation does want to take over the farm, farmers are notoriously bad about actually planning for the leadership change; economies of scale make it hard to break into farming if you don’t come from a farm family; and much more. The USDA and the Farmland Trust are trying to help combat these issues by creating systems to pass farms intact onto new owners, and support small farmers, but there are still lots of hurdles.

        I don’t think many folks who don’t grow up on a farm end up in agriculture, unless they are ag-adjacent (farm lending agencies, crop insurance, etc.). And most farmers/farm families have at least one person who also works off the farm to help support the family. It’s hard to make enough money from agriculture (and consistently over years through droughts and whatnot) to support a family. My husband and I both have off-farm jobs. My dad and mom both worked off-farm. My grandfather worked off-farm (my grandmother had 8 kids to handle, so she did not work off-farm).

        What I love: I’m a fourth generation American farmer, which is a cool tradition to be part of. I love that my kids know a lot about how the world works in the way their counterparts don’t (hamburgers don’t just show up at the grocery store- they come from cows, white eggs don’t always come from white chickens, most produce isn’t as pretty as what you see in commercials). What I hate: I’m generally risk-averse and this is the wrong field to be in if you’re like that :D There are just so many things that could go wrong (and do go wrong) that bankrupt farm families every year.

    8. DreamOfWinter*

      Hello! I’m in eastern Maine and have several acres of varied land. We’ve had an excessively rainy 18 months and most low-lying areas are super soggy. I’ve read that planting willows nearby will help draw up water, but do you have other advice for long-term water management? We do have a natural gentle slope down to a river, so adding in some swales or drainage ditches is certainly an option, but I’m hoping to avoid too much in the way of moving earth around.

      1. kbeers0su*

        There is a long list of native plants that are water-loving and would help absorb extra water. Willows and red maples are two trees you could consider, inkberries, some elderberries, and summersweet are shrub options, and other plants include ferns, lily of the valley, irises, daylilies, and purple coneflower. I’m sure there are more, but these are some I can recommend.

        Something you should consider is what type of soil you have, because that can impact water movement. There is a great tool through UC Davis that will show you soil reports by zip code (https://casoilresource.lawr.ucdavis.edu/gmap/).

        Even with significant landscaping made up of water-loving plants, you should still think about ways to move water. Swales would be least likely to alter the landscape, but will only move water that is still on the surface (think quick downpours). You could also build up the soil into berms to help direct water in certain ways, but this also only works for surface water. If you regularly get soaking rains, you’ll need underground drainage to move the water out of the soil. French drains are a great option, but they do require extensive digging, and can collapse later, undoing the work you did.

  103. Yup*

    Writing, specifically creative writing and storytelling, including how to fold that into advertising. Pushing back on generic AI to build and claim an original story is my next career move, soon as I’m done with this Master’s in CW!

    1. ferrina*

      Storytelling- how do you craft a strong storyline? How do you balance boring vs overly complex?

      1. Yup*

        Some people craft storylines, others like me start the story and see where it takes us. Then you rewrite and that’s where the magic happens. The balance between boring and complex comes down to rewriting, too–making sure you take out what’s not needed, and keep what works in a way that’s engaging to read.

        As for character names, I recently heard an author say that they pay a lot of attention to character names when choosing what to publish in their magazine. A name needs to have some meaning and connection to the larger work. It needs to fold into the themes and make sense with the narrative. A throwaway name gives the impression of a throwaway story.

      1. ferrina*

        My D&D group uses online name generators. I also know someone that found a baby name book at a used book sale and used that to find names they liked.

  104. knitting at the baseball game*

    I’m an expert on safety, especially research and laboratory safety, primarily biological safety. And I’m happy to answer if anyone has safety-related questions!

    1. pally*

      clean room air filters:
      do these have a limited life-assuming the filter is not clogged up with residue?
      Are there ways to tell if the filter is no good any more due to age?

      Not talking about HEPA filters. The filter pore size for these are too small for what we use. Talking something a littler larger pore size-wise.
      Thank you.

      1. knitting at the baseball game*

        My experience leans toward HEPA filters, but in general it’s always good to ask the manufacturer about the lifetime. It will depend on the use as well as the type of filter.

    3. Diatryma*

      What’s the best way to get my (large hospital) environmental health and safety people to do a noise study on my workspace? It’s loud and we know it’s loud, but no one’s been able to get someone in to say how loud or how to mitigate it.

      1. knitting at the baseball game*

        The easiest way to do it: If one of the folks in your workspace has an iPhone, download a decibel meter app and measure the noise during the times of day when it’s loudest. If the numbers are consistently around or above 80, take that information to your safety department and tell them that you’re concerned the elevated noise levels are hazardous and may harm your hearing.
        I say iPhone because the sound measuring apps are more accurate as iPhones use a consistent mic.

        1. Diatryma*

          I’ve emailed the EHS people (rather, I emailed the ergonomics people and asked how to get it done) before, but the language here will help for another email. Unfortunately, we can’t have phones in the lab. Thanks!

    4. Car park*

      What would you advise in terms of PPE when doing lab experiments with kids, especially kids who may have sensory issues? Gloves seem to agitate some of them. Should we stay away from certain types of experiments? We kind of run the gamut from chemistry, bio to physics.

      1. Diatryma*

        What kind of experiments and what age/ability of kids?

        Most kid-experiment PPE I’ve experienced has been performative, with the exception of some safety goggles, and a face shield or distance will accomplish the same thing there. For dry ice bombs, I’d definitely have earplugs. But even actual facts science labs are supposed to rely on PPE last, after things like ‘use something less likely to kill you’ and ‘do not be right next to the explosion’.

        1. Diatryma, overenthusiastic about SCIENCE*

          Extrapolating a bit from my own experience: most kid-science things are not going to be dangerous in a PPE way. There’s some danger of mess/stains/splash in eyes, there’s hot/cold a bit more than in a kitchen, there’s the danger that a kiddo will mimic/repeat an experiment without realizing there were safety measures in place*, but you can adjust for those.

          What’s the reason for the PPE? Sometimes it’s to make it Science, so you dress your fifth-graders up like it’s the Manhattan Project for Mentos and Diet Coke**. For functional reasons, you can improvise. If goggles don’t work, wear a face shield; if gloves don’t work, stay back, use tongs, or put the kid’s hands in a pair of Ziplocs– or, if gloves are to keep the kiddo from touching the science and then their mouth***, wear a mask instead. Maybe have the kiddos make the safety plans sometimes– do you need a fire extinguisher? how should we clear the field before we fling the pumpkins into it? what clothes are okay to wade into the creek, and what clothes mean you have to stay on the trail instead?

          *so this one time my dad the science teacher led a crayfish dissection and decided he wanted a fresh crayfish, so he got one from the grocery store and used that. When he pointed out what part of it was food, the class dared him to eat it, so he did. Rumor has it that a student later copied this, not realizing that the student crayfish were in formalin.

          **garbage bag lab coats to make it a special occasion.

          ***me.

      2. knitting at the baseball game*

        Like Diatryma says, PPE is going to depend on the hazard, but it should be considered the last line of defense. First, eliminate the hazardous material or consider a nonhazardous substitute. If that’s not possible, prevent contact with the hazard (have an adult perform the experiment while kids watch, for example). If you really want kids in contact with the hazard, do all you can to limit the exposure (shorter time, lower concentrations).
        Ultimately you may need PPE and it may be a requirement. Something that can help is offering PPE that fits (example: don’t just get XS adult gloves, try to find gloves that are made for children’s hands) and offer gloves in a variety of materials. If you have a contact at a local safety supplier, they may have recommendations. Good luck!

  105. Traffic Engineer*

    Job specific knowledge:
    I work in traffic design. Lane markings, signs, signals, and how to move traffic around during construction. If you’ve ever wondered why a sign looks that way, or why that signal went up, I probably know the (general) reason. I promise we do try to make driving through construction as simple as possible!

    General knowledge:
    Coming up with an easy to follow workload spreadsheet that tracks all ongoin and upcoming projects, their deadlines, what tasks are needed, and who will be working on it. We desperately needed a way to keep all our deadlines straight and realize if projects were stacked on another and since I figured out this tracking we can plan out a year in advance.

    1. Rae*

      Can you recommend a book or trade journal to give me an introduction to traffic engineering? I will read introductory textbooks however I do not absorb info from videos. I’m in the AEC industry but don’t work with Transportation directly.

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        Try the MUTCD – Manual of Uniform Traffic Control Devices. It’s the federal minimum standard for the United States, and though very technical, lays out standards and explanations in a very logical manner. Plus it has great visuals to help show placements.

        You can also check with your local engineering/built environment college to see if they have introductory material. They ought to have some material available used for orientation and tours.

      2. Traffic Engineer*

        Also! Look into the American Society of Civil Engineers, Institute of Transportation Engineers, Chi Epsilon, and any local branch university chapters. There’s usually a lot of free resources and materials available through their sites, and they can get you in contact with people in the industry if you have more specific questions.

    2. A Genuine Scientician*

      Is there a non-awful way to ask a city to evaluate traffic at a particular intersection? And if so, what sort of agency would be best to direct such a request to?

      Context: on my commute, there is one particular stretch where if you are at the red light for one intersection, the only way to NOT get caught at the next light (literally one block away) is to be the first car at the intersection AND ALSO speed. But only when traveling in one direction; the opposite direction has no such issue. I recognize that this may be the best compromise solution to a large traffic system, but as an outsider I can’t tell whether it’s that, or if something changed and the timings haven’t been updated to account for it, etc. I’d like to know, but I also don’t want to come off as assuming that people aren’t doing their jobs.

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        You most likely want to leave a comment with your city’s public service department, as they’re likely the ones that own the intersection and signals. Send a polite email detailing what you’ve noticed – give numbers if possible – and ask if they can consider the intersection for a traffic flow/signal timing study. I can’t guarantee you’ll hear back from them, or when or if they’d do the study, but that’s the first step for citizen complaints.

    3. Generic Name*

      Waves hi! We work in the same industry! I work for a giant construction company, and most of the projects I’ve worked on in my career have been transportation focused. I frequently review plan sets, but I normally just skip over the traffic design sheets because it’s not relevant to my area of expertise. :)

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        Ah, your company is the one that contacts me a year after final tracings with questions! We have such a lovely relationship. :)

        I kid, I kid. It’s great to find someone else in wild in this industry!

    4. Ali + Nino*

      OK, I have heard that when a lane is closed, the ideal way of driving around this is the “zipper” method, where drivers from the closed lane continually merge into the open lane, like a zipper (as opposed to only one car merging at a time). I hope this makes sense…My question is: 1) Is this still how we’re “supposed” to be doing this? and 2) Have you seen it work successfully? If so, where? I don’t see it happening this way in my city.

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        That is how it’s supposed to work, but obviously in practice people will do what they do. Zippers work best when there’s a high amount traffic moving slowly, or when there’s a low amount of traffic moving fast. Anything in between – which is most traffic conditions – is where the zipper merge starts to stutter, as some people will merge early, some people will speed to the end, some people try to merge two at a time, etc. There’s only so much we can do to engineer around human behavior, and, well, God likes to invent better fools.

    5. Finn*

      Two questions, none of them urgent:
      1) Do you know how they decide whether to make a 20-km-detour over big streets or a 2-km-detour over not that big but also not tiny streets?
      2) Do you think safety traffic signs (think STOP sign or “the vehicles on the other road may drive first” sign) can get so much that they decrease the safety of a crossroads? Yes there is a specific spot I’m thinking about, it has really over-the-top (neon yellow background behind the stop sign, blinking lamps on top, in my opinion bigger than a normal one, two of them on each side of the street, warning sign that the stop sign is coming, reduced velocity limits, I think you get the idea) signs.
      Again, really not urgent. Just me being curious.

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        1) So, in the US at least (assuming you aren’t since using km), detours are handled based on the level of roadway that needs to be detoured, as well as how long the closed stretch of road is. A small local street can be detoured onto other local streets, but a highway needs to be detoured to other highways or state routes unless there isn’t a viable option. If you’re someplace urban, there are a lot more options to route traffic around, but if you’re rural, things can get pretty convoluted because the roadway network just doesn’t exist out there.

        2) It is possible to oversign an area, creating too much visible clutter to be able to effectively convey information, but without seeing this particular intersection it’s hard for me say. The fact that these are flashing signs suggests that this might be an area where you’re driving for a long stretch without needing to stop, and when that happens it can cause a sort of… call it confirmation bias. You haven’t had to stop in 3 miles even though there are other small roads that cross, so why you need to stop at this one? And then you blaze through the intersection into oncoming traffic. It’s a very real phenomenon. A big, blinking, neon sign will catch your attention, shaking you out of the status quo, and you should still have amble time to react and slow down.

        1. Finn*

          Thanks a lot for your reply! You’re right, I’m not from the US, but figured that detours and signs probably have similar problems everywhere :-)
          Driving without having to stop for a long time really fits! I didn’t even think about that, just about the collection of signs. There are 10 miles or so (ca 15km) of road with not much on it behind it.

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        I love them! My company actually designed the first three diverging diamonds in my state, and I live near one now.

        I know they seem scary because you’re temporarily on the other side of the road, but it’s a smooth transition, traffic tends to flow through faster, and there is a significant reduction in crash points (12) compared to a traditional diamond (26) or even a SPUI (18). But they’re “new” and not widely implemented yet, so people freak out.

      2. Traffic Engineer*

        I love them! My company actually designed the first three that were built in my state, and my state’s DOT is very fond of them so there’s quite a few more there than other states.

        I know they confuse a lot of people the first time – you’re suddenly on the other side of the road! – but they’re really one the best interchange options we have right now. Traffic tends to flow more smoothly, they have fewer crash points (12) compared to a traditional diamond (26) or even a SPUI (16), and they actually have a smaller footprint than other interchange alternatives.

        But they’re not very common yet, so people are understandably worried when they hear they’re going to be on the “wrong” side of the road for a brief stretch. In addition to designing DDIs, my company has written and is involved in a lot of public education meetings to help make people aware of the changes. VR is actually great for this!

    7. Dragonfly7*

      Traffic circles – I know the main rule is to yield to whomever is already inside the circle, but I have encountered two so far where the traffic already inside the circle has to yield to the traffic entering it (but only at one of the multiple entry points). What set of circumstances would cause the traffic flow to be designed so differently for those traffic circles?

      1. Traffic Engineer*

        Hm, I haven’t heard of that before. I’ll have to do some research into it. Are you in the US?

        1. Dragonfly7*

          Yup! This only sticks out in my brain because I repeatedly almost caused accidents by not yielding in one of the two, to the point that I drove out of my way to avoid it.

          1. Traffic Engineer*

            So I haven’t been able to find anything in US standards that allows for the cars on the entry legs to have priority over cars inside the roundabout. I even mentioned it to one of my project managers, who’s designed close to two dozen roundabouts. His best guess is that the people around your two examples have trained themselves into driving that way – that they probably had only had minimal or no exposure to roundabouts before those were built and then were never educated on how to drive in one, so they started this habit of stopping inside the circle rather than entering traffic waiting for a gap and no one ever corrected them, and it’s ingrained to the people in the area.

            Unfortunately correcting a driving habit like this is very difficult to do. There’s no way to guarantee all drivers will see or read any educational material and it’s not illegal so you can’t really justify a traffic cop out there. You can always try leaving a comment with your city council/public works department requesting that they evaluate the roundabouts, but as I said in an above comment, I can’t promise if and when they’ll take a look.

  106. A New CV*

    This may be a niche skill that is not needed here but I am really good at dealing with “Karens” in customer service roles. No one knows de-escalation and conflict resolution better than an experienced customer service worker!

    1. Nelalvai*

      How do you tell customers you disagree with them or you’re not gonna do what they want? I’m in a government job and I field a lot of requests from people about how we should do XYZ differently. I need a nice way to say “I looked into your request, there’s not a problem and if there was your solution wouldn’t fix it”.

  107. frenchblue*

    I can answer any questions on event planning (especially nonprofits, donor relations, or community/government)! Also, I’m engaged, so wedding planning counts too right now :)

  108. Marie*

    I have a bunch of experience with Inventory Management and managing Bills of Material for manufacturing. Happy to help or dive into discussions with others!

    1. birdie08*

      Would you be able to link me to something simple for inventory management? A spreadsheet template or something along those lines? I sell my art on stickers, have a coloring book, and a few other small items that I sell at markets and online. I am going to embark on wholesaling to a few local stores. If someone wanted to know exactly how many stickers I have at home this exact moment, I have no current mechanism to answer that. It hasn’t been an issue thus far but I can see it turning into one soon! Thanks!

  109. Curiouser and Curiouser*

    Since you mentioned it specifically…I have a cosmetology certification that I no longer use but I’m pretty up to date/knowledgable on makeup, particularly when it comes to the “no makeup makeup” look or everyday, professional makeup if anyone has questions!

    1. Jane Bingley*

      My skin seems to loathe any kind of concealer, foundation, powder, or other product that’s normally applied to smooth the face. Given that it tends to give me acne where there was none before, I’ve defaulted to not wearing any and letting my bare face show. But when I try to add any other make-up (lipstick/lip stain, mascara, etc) it tends to look lopsided or overly dramatic. Is there a simple way to dress up a little without using a full-face product?

      1. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        Absolutely. If there’s a moisturizer you do like or a company that works for you, check to see if they have a tinted version. If not, consider mixing a bit of concealer or foundation in with your existing skin care products and try on a small portion of your face (likely when you’re not going anywhere) to see if there’s a reaction.

        Also, rather than applying to your full face, focus on the areas you most want to smooth or brighten – generally, that would be under eyes, t-zone, and chin.

        If no face products work, you can also focus on toning down the shades of your other makeup. Try a brown mascara rather than black, a lip color that’s only a few shades darker than your natural lips, an eyeshadow that’s very neutral and only use a little bit.

    2. Magnus Archivist*

      I just had trial make-up done for my wedding and was shocked at how cakey and glam my “natural but noticed” look was. What language do I use to ask for less foundation, less concealer sinking into every single eye wrinkle, less contouring, just generally…less?

      1. Jane Bingley*

        I’m far from an expert but I will flag – I requested a mostly natural look for my wedding make-up and was surprised at how glam it was when she was done. She saw my concerned look and reminded me that it has to look natural while fitting in with the overall look of a big dress and fancy hair, and that it would look much less dramatic once the whole look came together. I was pleasantly surprised to discover she was absolutely right and several people commented on how natural my make-up looked despite it feeling like total drama in the make-up chair! If you haven’t already, sharing photos of the rest of your look (dress, hair plans, and general venue/decoration photos) can help set the stage for the kind of look you want that will feel natural in that setting.

        1. Magnus Archivist*

          thank you! unfortunately the rest of my look and our theme (if we have one) is really not glam. it’s more…hobbit garden party? so I think the make-up will actually look kind of out of place.

          2. The Real Fran Fine*

            Is your makeup artist using full coverage foundations and powder? If so, ask her to stop and switch to a light to medium coverage liquid foundation or serum, tinted moisturizer, or a tinted BB/CC cream. Also, tell her you don’t want contouring of any kind (I never do this and I always look good – most people don’t need this step). A lot of professional makeup artists use heavy products like Dermablend, MAC, Cover FX, etc.), so you may need to ask for, or have her use your own, brands that are known for a more “clean” aesthetic like Glossier, Rose Inc., Merit, Ilia, etc.

      2. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        Others mentioned some of it – but “light to medium coverage” is always a good one. Also right now the “clean look but with more dramatic eyes” is sometimes a good way to ask for what you’re talking about. I think also mentioning your concerns directly can help, because there are definitely ways to avoid the wrinkles and makeup setting that you’re mentioning, so it could come down to just calling it out in the trial!

    3. KTM*

      I’m a woman who works in a professional setting and has limped her way through learning various makeup routines over time via friends, youtube, stores, etc. It’s something I want to learn more about but it always feels SO overwhelming. I have hobbies and this is just not one of them. Do you have suggestions on where I can find someone to sherpa me? I’ve found it really hit or miss to go to someplace like Ulta and just ask a random person. I just want some suggestions on product that makes sense for me and how to apply it. Where do people ‘learn’ makeup from?

      1. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        I can’t recommend enough getting makeup applied by a licensed cosmetologist and asking questions/for guidance. So many of them even have “makeup lessons” rather than application. Several will even allow you to pay for your service by buying product, which is always great, but it’s the best way for guidance!

    4. Hypatia*

      I’m older and dont wear much makeup, but would like a lipstick and/or mascara to add color on special occasions. What colors of lipstick will look less like clown makeup on thinner lips? And what type of mascara would be good for someone who rubs at her eyes sometimes?

      1. WellRed*

        I personally like lip tints in a rose or wine color that’s not too far off from my natural color. Burts Bees has some nice shades.

      2. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        I definitely recommend a few shades darker than your natural lip color. For me that’s a sort of mauve color, but for others it can be more on the brown side, so go by what your lips are! For mascara, let it set for a bit before rubbing and waterproof mascara can help even more – but make sure you have remover for waterproof makeup!

    5. WafflesFluff*

      Do you have any suggestions for separation issues? I feel like my foundation/concealer looks patchy b/c it’s not gelling well with my primer or something else.

      1. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        Make sure it’s fresh (most concealers and foundations only last about 6 months after opening!). Also trial and error, as lame as it sounds, may help. If you think it’s the primer, try without sometime to find out for sure. And if you’re not using a beauty blender, that can be a good way to apply more evenly.

    6. Beth Darcy*

      I’m a middle-aged woman from the upper-midwest and I tend to get pretty dewy (read: I sweat a bunch on my face) in warm climates, and also flush really easily (every gym I’ve ever gone to people have stopped me to ask if I’m feeling ok because my face gets so red), and with middle age has come drier skin that likes to make powdering over makeup look cakey. And I’m getting married in the Caribbean.

      Do you have any tips for what to try to keep from sweating off my makeup, but also not looking like my face is going to crack and flake off?

      1. Curiouser and Curiouser*

        Baking with a translucent powder has helped me with this (shoutout to the red face crew! I am a proud member, haha!) What you do is take a translucent loose powder and apply more than you need with a powder puff – so it’s visible – to your problems spots. For me, that’s under my eyes, around my lips, and my t-zone. Then let it “bake” (sit on your face) for 2-5 minutes and then brush off the excess with a fluffy brush. It really helps and shouldn’t look cakey.

        One tip for this technique though – make sure you remove any makeup that’s set in your fine lines or wrinkles BEFORE baking or you will bake in that product.

  111. Her name is fashion*

    I have a great sense of personal style and I help my friends shop (not a career, more like a fun hobby). I also track my entire wardrobe in Google Sheets and do data analysis and stats like ROI, cost/wear, environmental friendliness etc. If anyone has any questions I’m also happy to field those!

      1. Her name is fashion*

        I have quite a lot of pieces from Bimba Y Lola, which is a spanish brand more on the high end price-wise (think 150 euros for a dress, discounted to 70 when I buy it), but with sales I make it work. The craftsmanship is impeccable and I really get my money’s worth on that

        In general my ‘nicer’ clothing is generally worth the splurge. I havent had to throw away anything in a really long time. I live in France so that would be brands like René Derhy, IKKS, Suncoo, Desigual, Caroll, 123, …

        I also thrift these same brands, and honestly secondhand shopping is the way to go, especially to try out brands.

    2. knitting at the baseball game*

      What brands would you recommend for high quality professional wear for women?

      1. Her name is fashion*

        My office is on the casual side and I live in France, but I would recommend IKKS, René Derhy, Essentiel Antwerp, Bel-Air, 123, Caroll, Desigual (who are aiming for a pretty successful rebrand btw), Maje, Sandro. I used to love Banana Republic but their quality has really fallen down a cliff.
        I don’t know where you are but online shopping is probably a thing for at least some of these brands, happy shopping :-).

    3. Emmie*

      I am looking for a medium sized warm brown leather high end, no labels shoulder handbag. Any favorite brands / purses? If you don’t have anything like that, what brands offer the best ROI?

      2. Her name is fashion*

        I like Sequoia bags, they don’t always have labels but there is a recognizable ‘look’ :
        (I think my link ate my comment, it was a link to the Sequoia site to their ‘Harmony’ bag here)

        Or you could try looking around for a leather bag-making class, it usually costs as much as you would pay for a leather bag but you get to customise it and learn something at the same time.

    4. chili oil*

      how/where do you find professional looking shoes that are padded and relatively flat? I have hip/knee/feet issues and like to use a standing desk. My most comfy options are birkenstocks (bonus points for being easy to kick off) and running shoes. I’ve tried danskos (with a 1″ heel), and they were cute, but I got a severe backache within the first 30 minutes. Ballet flats don’t tend to stay on my feet, I like a strap. I only wear skirts in the summer, because I feel that the birkenstocks don’t look terrible, but I don’t want to wear sneakers with a skirt.

      1. Her name is fashion*

        I wear a lot of derbies for the same reasons as you state above, I find that they generally go with everything. I’m in France so I don’t know how accessible my list is, but you could hit up a Clark’s or a Hush Puppies, or Mellow Yellow.
        I went to a podiatrist that prescribed me some custom soles, and that is great for the ‘padding’ part of your question.

    5. A Simple Narwhal*

      I would LOVE to see what this spreadsheet looks like! I totally get if you can’t share it, but could you describe it a bit?

      1. Her name is fashion*

        It’s a bit unwieldy to share, but basically : I have a master sheet where I write down my outfit of the day, I have a sheet for each type of clothing that I own (Tops, Pants, Skirts, Dresses, etc) where I describe my items in detail (color, price paid, quality, year purchased, storage site…)
        and a stats page where I calculate stuff.

        I tried to take a screengrab but you can’t actually attach pictures here… :(

    6. Ali + Nino*

      Hellio! I’ve fallen down the Kibbe system and am trying to figure out color seasons but I’m feeling totally stumped. Any recommendations for figuring out color seasons? Or do you not subscribe to those theories?

      1. Her name is fashion*

        Hello, I personally don’t really care about my seasons, but I’ve seen it help others so you do you!
        Also, you can go on the goplaycosmetics site and do a quiz to find out what season you are, they sell this amazing lip color making gadget that subscribes to color theory.

    7. nnn*

      Do you know any tips for finding clothes that work for specific fit issues more efficiently than going into the store and trying everything on or hoping the google algorithm or strangers on reddit will be able to meet my needs?

      For example, my major fit issue with pants is that they tend to gap in the back. Is there a way to search for styles that won’t gap in the back? Or to search for “if [discontinued style] fits you, here are some other brands and styles that will likely fit you?”

      1. Her name is fashion*

        I don’t know if there’s a magic bullet for this. If I’m buying online, I tend to stick to brands where I know which sizes fit me.
        I do love in-person shopping though, in fact I have a tip about that : challenge yourself and get something slightly on the risky/weird/sexy side for you or that you feel you couldn’t pull off. Try it out, I find most people are surprised by how good it looks on them because of the way something looks on a hanger has no relation to how it will look on you <3

        1. ferrina*

          Similar question to this- any tips to finding good jeans? I just go the chaotic route of guessing and being wrong. There’s got to be a better way!

          1. Her name is fashion*

            I’m sorry, I own like 2 pairs of jeans, it is nigh impossible for me to find jeans I like.
            Tht said, growing up I had several many Calvin Klein Jeans that I loved and wore to death, maybe check them out to see what they’re making today?

          2. Anonamouse*

            This is literally a job for Stitch Fix (if you’re in the US, not sure if they are world wide). Put your measurements in the app and tell them you need jeans. Every pair i have gotten from them fits me like a glove and looks amazing.

    8. A Girl Named Fred*

      How does one go about developing a personal style? I’ve worn jeans and t-shirts for so long that nothing else “feels” like me, but I’d like to expand my options and be more active in how I choose to present myself to the world. But I have no idea how to do that without buying a bunch of stuff (even if thrifting) that I may never end up wearing! Thoughts?

      1. Her name is fashion*

        Good (tough) question!
        Maybe you’ve got to take it slow.
        Make a board in Pinterest where you pin stuff that you find beautiful on other people, see if there are some trends that emerge, like favorite colors, favorite cuts of a top, etc.
        Start small, maybe buy 1 piece that is “not you”. I actually do this a lot, I buy things that I can’t necessarily see me wearing and I put them in my closet for like 6 months. I come back to the piece after the time has passed and since it’s been in my closet and I’ve rifled through it to find things to wear I sort of get used to the idea of wearing that piece. You could do this on a smaller scale, like buying one nice top and keeping it in your closet sort of like an inspirational piece until you decide to wear it.
        Also, accessories are your friend for dressing up jeans and t-shirts. Earrings, a nice bag, a watch can dress up a look
        Also : maybe buy a nice brooch. Then you’ll have to buy a top or dress on which to pin the brooch ;)
        If nothing works, you could always get rid of stuff you bought by selling it or donating it. It’s not perfect, but that’s my advice.

        1. A Girl Named Fred*

          It’s good advice, I think! I like the idea of getting used to having a thing in my closet so it stops feeling so weird. (And you’re not wrong about buying something so you need to go get or do another thing – I specifically bought a super cute pair of polymer clay earrings so I’d be inspired to go get my ears re-pierced this year, lol!)

          Thank you!

      2. Dogwoodblossom*

        Hi again AGNF! Wanted to recommend Kathleen Illustrated on youtube! She has a couple great videos about “outfit recipes” that I found super helpful in terms of how I think about clothes. Her personal style is pretty out there (pretty heavily clown-core, which is a bridge too far for me) but her advice is widely applicable, and I find her opinions about fashion trends quite refreshing.

        1. Her name is fashion*

          I actually follow her on YouTube! I agree, it’s a very positive and caring space even if the looks themselves aren’t always for me.

  112. Bike Shorts*

    Knowledge Request: Managing Banquet Servers

    I work in catering/event planning for a college. I used to work in a kitchen so a lot of the transition has come really naturally, but I’ve never been a server. So when it comes to managing servers, I feel especially lost. We have a small number of big sit-down dinners per year, but when they happen, they’re a BIG deal. I want them to go off without a hitch, but I’m not super familiar with all of service styles, best practices, etc. Any advice you have would be super helpful!

    If you’ve worked as a banquet server/temp waiter, what has the event manager done that has made the event go super smoothly? I want all my temps to say, “please put me on Bike Shorts’ jobs!”… how do I get there?

  113. Call Me Definitely*

    I work in a library call center and would love to answer any questions you have about handling non-face-to-face customer interactions (phone, email, chat, etc.)!

    1. PivotTime*

      How patient do you find people are on chat? I used to work in a library and we would handle everything with daily email and occasional phone calls. It’s easy to put someone on hold on a phone while you get the info they need or reply to an email with a timeframe you can get the info to them. I can imagine that it’s a bit different with chat though.

  114. For the Love of Thread*

    I’m a creative entrepreneur who loves to talk about email marketing and product/course launches. I absolutely love talking about these things!

    1. WellRed*

      How many emails is too many? I feel like our marketing team is hitting up our list too often and people will just ignore or unsubscribe.

    2. chamomile*

      I’ve just stepped into a position where I need to manage a massive undifferentiated email list! I have a couple of questions, if you don’t mind:
      1) Any tips on segmenting your audience and ideal communication cadence? I’m trying to figure out what similar companies are doing, but it seems to vary a lot.
      2) Strategies for managing accidental attrition? Anecdotally, it seems like a lot of people are forwarding emails and then get surprised when the recipient unsubscribes. I’m hoping to introduce more friction into the unsub process, but I don’t want to be obnoxious about it.

  115. Andromeda*

    How do you write good docs for internal/company use, particularly for people who skim read? I have a tendency to overexplain or overcontextualise. I also know to use headings, bullets etc — I’m looking more for ways to best communicate impact in ways managers sit up and take notice of, or approaches to take when I edit a doc. My company culture is quite informal and not super jargon-y.

    1. For the Love of Thread*

      Ask this before you start writing: what do you want the people who read your document to do after they’re done? Ideally you can answer that question in one sentence and make it the first sentence in your document. I know you know the formatting parts, but I can’t stress enough the use of white space. If you’re a wall of text, no one is reading it. If you’re leaving space for the eyes to rest, people are more likely to take in your message.

    2. Clarity*

      When you’re using headings, consider making them not a “this is what this section is about” heading but instead the key piece of information that they need to take away from that section — and then any subheadings are the supporting details. This works really well for reports with finding and recommendations, but also for anything else where you need to be persuasive.

      For process documentation or anything else where you know all the weeds and some people will need to get into them and some won’t, I recommend using links to an appendix — that way they’ll be able to search the whole doc by keywords, but also if they’re reading How to Groom a Llama and they have the rare occurrence What to do if you discover your llama is actually a dog in a wool coat, they can click on it and get the info but it’s not taking up space in the Groom a Llama section.

      When editing, if you know the material too well it can be good to get help from a colleague who doesn’t. You may not use jargon but there might be a section where a step is intuitive to you but not to them, or where you’ve provided detail that could be moved elsewhere or removed.

      If folks aren’t reviewing it who need to, it’s probably worth looking at what the consequences are or aren’t of them not reading it. If it means they make mistakes that someone else has to fix, it may be hard to get them to read even the shortest clearest document, which might mean you have a process issue rather than a communication issue.

    3. LizW*

      Doc Control Specialist/Tech Writer here who also tends to overexplain/contextualise.
      If you are referring to corporate procedures and work instructions:
      It’s all about error proofing
      Use process flows to summarize your topic. This immediately limits the length of your doc and highlights mandatory steps. Your folks will be more likely to use them and auditors love being able to see a snapshot rather than reading pages of text.
      Save step by step instructions and details for test methods but replace text with images and tables when appropriate.

  116. Magnus Archivist*

    I’m an archivist who has worked with both paper/analog collections (your photographs, diaries, business records, ledgers, correspondence, etc.) and currently works with born-digital collections (your floppy disks, emails, websites, and anything else created on a computer).

    Ask me about anything archives/library/research/preservation related!

      1. Magnus Archivist*

        Oh wow, this is such a big question! I’m going to forget stuff — other digital archives types, please chime in with your faves.

        The multi-tool for born-digital archives is BitCurator. It’s such a nice little package of (most of) the tools you need to do basic digital forensics, generating reports about your media/files, and dealing with the one-off, surprise issues that come up with unique historical assets.

        Archive-It for website preservation.

        ePADD for email preservation and access.

        Also: Perpetual utility infielders Excel and Oxygen XML editor for working with data and mark-up.

        If you’re just interested generally in what tools are used in the field, the COPTR wiki of community-owned tools is a great overview. (link in reply)

        2. Professional_Lurker*

          I second this. BitCurator is my One True Love.

          I also love File Management programs/disc space analyzers like TreeSize — it’s not a preservation tool, but it gives you a great snapshot of what your records look like in situ — you can run reports on oldest or largest files, find dups, etc.

          Not a platform, per se, but one of the most simple yet important things you can do as a “layperson” for preserving your own digital records is choosing an appropriate file format — the Library of Congress releases a “Recommended Formats Statement” every year, to help you select file formats. I definitely recommend giving that a look.

          1. Professional_Lurker*

            Forgot to mention! For web archiving, you can either have an account with Archive-It that will be part of the Internet Archive (though that normally requires a subscription) or, if you want a smaller collection just for yourself, you can use either Webrecorder or Conifer as a browser-based, user-directed crawling option. They’re free up to 5 GB, so great for capturing webpages you need for research that could either be altered or deleted in a short period of time (breaking news, controversial blog posts, whathaveyou).

    2. stinky film defender*

      No question, just saying hi to a fellow archivist! :) I’m a film archivist.

      1. Magnus Archivist*

        hi! I do some magnetic tape digitization and have have the tiniest bit of experience with other a/v. True a/v and film archivists are absolutely the coolest folks.

    3. ferrina*

      I don’t know if this is in your wheelhouse, but how do you organize documents in a way that makes it easy to find? My organization has a ton of internal documents on the drive, but they are sort of all over. We have great resources, but can never find them!

      1. Magnus Archivist*

        It really depends on your organization! But some general advice:

        – don’t tie your system or arrangement to specific people (i.e., Mike’s folder, Loretta’s folder, etc.) but rather to roles (Head Accountant, Events Planner, President) so they can be passed to the next person to hold that role
        – or, the better version of that (and the one I recommend) would be by department/function: HR, Events, Communications, Accounting, Office of the President, etc. And ideally you have sub-folders in those directories for whatever makes sense to your org — subfolder for annual budgets, subfolder for event photographs, subfolder for press releases, etc.

        When archivists are organizing historical records, we always think about how a researcher is going to approach them.* So, is this org mostly known for a series of events it held in the 70s? If so, those events should be their own distinct grouping, to make them easy to find — the equivalent to making them a top-level directory on a shared network drive. Or are researchers likely to be looking for things by date or wanting to move through the collection chronologically, so we should divide the records up by decade or year? Or are they likely going to be interested in categories of media, so we should group the photographs together and the videos together?

        You know your organization best, so you can figure out how people use your documents and work backwards from there.

        *with the caveat that we always try to retain the order the records had when they came to us, if a) they have an order and b) it’s not a confusing system that only made sense to Basement Dave who kept their records for 40 years

    4. penguin-editor*

      I had a work-study job as an archivist in college, and to this day (many years later) it was the best job I ever had; I LOVED it. I have a dual degree in English and French, but if I wanted to get back into archive work, how would I do that? Can I work in an archive at say, a university library, without an advanced degree/MLS/I don’t know what? How did you “break in” to archive work?

      1. Magnus Archivist*

        That’s so great! Love hearing stories like that.

        Archives jobs are thin on the ground, though, and have been since I got into the field (about 15 years ago) despite the eternal drumbeat of “people are retiring! jobs are going to open up!” If you want to move into the field, unfortunately I do recommend getting an MLS degree with a concentration in archives. The market is just saturated with people with MLIS archives-specific degrees, so without one you’re going to be fighting an uphill battle to get hired. It sucks and I’m sorry to be a downer.

        I got really lucky with my first internship because I had reading knowledge of a handful of languages that were relevant to a specific archival processing project. I just happened to be finishing my degree at the same time as this internship opened up in the area where I already lived. That internship introduced me to local archives & library folks, which helped me get soft money project work for years (6 months here, a year there), before landing a permanent, FT position.

        If you want to learn more about the field and jobs/job hunting, google archivesgig for job postings and also check out a facebook group called “Archivists Think Tank.”

        1. penguin-editor*

          Thank you for the response! It’s about what I expected, so no worries about being a downer. :)

  117. EmF*

    I’ve got two decades of working in inbound call centres helping people who are calling in because something has gone wrong, with varying levels of being angry about it. Most of the time those people feel better after our conversations. Ask me your de-escalation questions!

      1. Finn*

        Amazing!
        Do you have any recommendations for saying beforehand “not urgent, if this takes a while or isn’t possible I’m fine with that, I’m just asking because I’d be happy if there is a solution to it. But if there is no solution, that’s okay too”? Or does it not matter since agents usually don’t care about that kind of thing?
        For written systems, is replying to your message where you told me how to solve my problem with “Thank you very much, it’s working! I hope you’ll have a good day!” or something similar appreciated, or is that annoying inbox clutter? I’d assume you get a lot of those, over time…

        1. Mad Harry Crewe*

          For the first one, if you’re calling in – “I’m not sure if you’re the right person to help with this” or “I’m not sure if I’m in the right place” – indicates that you know the agent might not have what you’re looking for, and that you’re less likely to be unhappy about it.

          Non-urgent stuff is better by email, if that’s a good option for you. Email lets us triage you against everything else that’s going on, and fit you in with our workflow and time. Phone calls always jump the queue, because the phone is synchronous communication – it’s got to be answered or it’s a missed call, even if the actual question on the other end is completely trivial.

          Close-the-loop “thanks, that worked!” type messages are neutral to good. If I (tech support) offered a solution that I’m not sure will work, it’s really great to get a response because then I can close the ticket and not need to follow up and check in. If I offered a solution that I’m confident in, it’s neutral. I’m no longer worried about you, so if you just disappear into the void it’s because I solved your problem and that’s fine. If you send back a quick thank you, that’ll reopen the ticket. I’ll see it, feel a momentary glow of satisfaction, and then close your ticket again.

  118. ArtK*

    I’ve been a software developer for 40+ years; happy to answer questions about that. I’m stronger in backend/server/database than I am in frontend.

    I’m also pretty good with 3D printing (FDM) and resin casting.

    1. ferrina*

      What’s a good beginner software for 3D printing?

      It looks cool and I’d love to get into it, but I have no idea where to start!

      1. Mad Harry Crewe*

        TinkerCAD for 3D modeling. I think a lot of printer manufacturers make their own slicers.

      2. EngineeringFun*

        I do a ton of 3D printing in lots of different materials. You can send CAD files out and get parts back in 3 days. ProtoMold seems to be the cheapest lately.

  120. Emmie*

    I have revamped ethics hotline, whistleblowing, and employee relations investigations for two large companies. If you do the same, I am happy to share my experience with you.

    Quite respectfully, let’s keep this to broader practitioner/practice/best practice questions rather than questions about a specific investigation.

    1. Ann on a Moose*

      What’s best practice for next steps once you try to call an ethics hotline only to find out it’s been disconnected (other than getting out of there, obviously)?

      1. Emmie*

        I assume you would like an answer from the reporter’s perspective. If you’d like an answer from a company receiving a report, I can answer that too.

        I’ll speak broadly about ethics and whistleblowing reporting mechanisms as ethics hotlines. Ethics hotlines should have several ways to report concerns – phone, email, or a form. No matter your reporting mechanism, updates should happen these ways:
        1. Many hotlines provide a way for anonymous reporters to “follow” their case. Sometimes third-party ethics hotline tools give people a case number. Some systems will allow you to log in to the system to receive updates.
        2. Companies should periodically update reporters on the status of their case. Those updates may not contain a lot of information but it can show you that the case is progressing. The hotline reports can take longer to investigate than you think. Sometimes investigators uncover more information or have to review a lot of documents.
        3. Some ethics hotlines provide reporters with the ability to ask follow up questions. If you have not received an update on your case in a reasonable time (perhaps a week), a reporter should be able to follow up on the ethics hotline report by hopefully logging into a third-party system or calling the ethics hotline.
        I want to give a special thanks to reporters who report allegations to the hotline. For some reporters, it is a hard and emotional decision. But these reports are important and helpful.

    2. Anecdata*

      How do you go about building (rebuilding?) trust with employees, that there won’t be retaliation against them if they call?

      And maybe related – how do you /actually/ prevent retaliation, especially in subtle stuff like not getting good opportunities, or negative qualitative/soft skills feedback?

      1. Emmie*

        Rebuilding trust depends on why the company does not have it. I bet, however, you already know that! Most people are distrustful of the ethics reporting process. They feel as if they are putting their jobs on the line by making a report. It is emotional too. Imagine being sexually harassed and reporting that at work? Imagine finding out your boss was making fraudulent sales reports and the executive was signing off on that? Reporters are brave.

        I would start by looking at the foundations of the programs. I recommend you:
        1. Revisit your process. What avenues are available for employees to report concerns? Typically, employees can report to their managers, through an Ombudsman, to HR (via employee relations), and to the ethics hotline.
        2. Make information about reporting processes available to your stakeholders. The company should publish information about the employee complaint process in its employee handbook and also on the employee intranet. Information about the ethics hotline should be available on the public facing website too for other interested parties. Publish information about a non-retaliation policy AND train people on it,
        3. Train your investigators. Ensure you present accurate information about confidentiality and the process to reporters and those you interview.
        4. Train your employees, managers, and executives on retaliation and the reporting process.
        5. Potentially engage in a PR campaign about the employee relations process.
        6. Provide information in your interviews about confidentiality and your company’s non-retaliation process. I always tell interviewees that they can come to me directly if they feel retaliated against.

        It is difficult to prevent retaliation. You can do that by explaining what retaliation is in policies and to people. Having a reliable way to track information about who filed reports or participated in investigations is helpful. Because you can track trends. I also always close out investigations with information about our non-retaliation policy. I explain how to report retaliation, and our zero tolerance for it. I also spend time educating myself on what constitutes retaliation too. You have to train your eye too.

  121. Katya*

    I’m a musician who transitioned to being a software engineer. Ask me anything about being a software engineer (I’m backend but play fullstack on TV) or career transitioning.

    1. Ali + Nino*

      How long and how much $ (if you don’t mind sharing) did you have to commit to training/education before getting a job in software engineering? how did you decide it would be worth the investment?

  122. General Organa*

    I’m a lawyer who didn’t go the public interest path in school but was able to switch from a corporate law firm to a big-name nonprofit–happy to talk about that transition if anyone wants!

  123. DataGirl*

    I work in graduate medical education, if anyone has any burning questions about residency or fellowship programs. I know a lot about compliance and regulations in GME and a little about hospital compliance in general.

    1. Ali + Nino*

      I so admire healthcare workers and part of me is interested in learning about that as a possible career path! Do you think this is a possibility for adults without a background in science/math? What are the options in terms of career path, and how can a person figure out if this is something they should pursue?

      1. DataGirl*

        Is there any particular area of healthcare you are interested in? There are hundreds of possibilities, depending on your interests and background. I can speak primarily to graduate medical education program administration- usually a program is led by a Program Coordinator (PC) and a Program Director (PD)- the PD is a doctor who is board certified in whatever specialty (Internal Medicine, Cardiology, etc.)and takes care of most of the educational aspects of the program.

        The PC manages all aspects of administration: paperwork, scheduling, data management, personnel management, and a lot more. Historically, it was a secretarial position but now it requires good technology, people, and administrative skills. There are a lot of specialty softwares that have to be used that need to be mastered, and a LOT of important deadlines, and a lot of rules and regulations to learn (on the job). Most Coordinators have a Bachelor’s degree, some have a Master’s or even a PhD. It probably varies by location whether someone without a degree could get hired, but hospitals are pretty desperate for employees right now so it could happen. If you do have a degree, it does not need to be in healthcare related field, most PCs do not (my degree in is library science). That said, there are now programs out there in things like ‘Healthcare Management’, ‘Healthcare Data’, etc. that could be beneficial, especially if you want to move into hospital administration directly. Also, if you want to move up I have not seen anyone in administration with less than a Master’s- if not in a Healthcare field then usually in an Education or Business decree.

        Specifically related to math and science- you don’t have to be good at those to work in administration, but you do need to be good at details since it’s really easy to make mistakes that can have serious consequences. My background is as a database administrator, so the transition to GME was not as hard for me as people without a lot of regulatory or technical work in their background.

        Lastly I’ll just add a couple of comments about working in a hospital as a non-medical person: If you are looking to make a career and don’t have a lot of experience, there are always jobs and they can lead to great careers. I’ve seen people work their way up from secretary, to director. You will be overworked and underpaid and most people will hate you, but if you can find your niche you can really succeed.

        1. DataGirl*

          I meant to say: if you want to move up I have not seen anyone in *Leadership* with less than a Master’s

  124. EngGirl*

    Anyone know how to do a vlookup in excel to sum across multiple sheets in the same workbook without needing to write an insanely long formula?

    I have a sheet of about 70 rows that I have organized alphabetically, and track a few different things daily on. Then I have a monthly summary sheet. Right now I have the monthly set up to sum across a specific row which is ok until I need to add or remove a row.

    1. just here for the scripts*

      You might prefer X lookup—it’s not nearly as positional dependent/rigid in order/function as VLOOKUP

    2. CoffeeCat*

      It sounds like =SUMIFS might be a better fit from what you’ve described. Can’t promise the formula won’t be lengthy depending on your sheet names, but you can design it so you don’t have to adjust it for adding a row, so you’ll write it once and not have to return to wrangle an eye- watering character count formula.

  125. Art Star*

    Niche here – Technology in an art context. I have my hands in a lot of things, however the concrete knowledge I can share is Adobe products (Photoshop, inDesign, Illustrator), printer functions, and navigating academia.

    Request for – How do I manage to even find jobs that would fit someone trying to move out of Academia? (what are real jobs??)

    1. For the Love of Thread*

      Are you trying to stay in the creative space? If so, check out Craft Industry Alliance. They offer a ton of training and have a job board of creative companies with opportunities from pattern design to social media.

    2. Another PM*

      I moved out of academia and into industry and I just talked to EVERYONE. Asked my parents to talk to their friends, talked to friends of friends, got coffee with anyone willing and asked if they knew someone etc etc.

      I ended up finding out about my current career (PMing, which I love) from a roommate’s ex-boyfriend who offered a phone call and described it. Then I started asking more specifically if anyone knew PMs, and then if they knew any other PMs who would be willing to chat. People generally love to give advice (hello, we are all on an advice website right now!) so even when I knew I wanted to be a PM, I would often phrase it more open-endedly (“I like to organize things and I think I would be a good PM but I am not sure yet”).

      Unfortunately academia really doesn’t give you a network the way industry does, but the good news is that once you get a foot in the door with your first job, it’s way easier to move around. Good luck!

  126. SereneScientist*

    I pivoted from the academic world after finishing a masters in social sciences to market research, and then pivoted again from market research to knowledge management in consulting. Along the way, I’ve figured out how to apply my degree to the roles I’ve had and even to my personal life. Ask me (almost) anything!

    1. ferrina*

      Tips for knowledge management? My organization has a ton of great resources, but they are everywhere. You pretty much have to ask someone who knows where the file is, because otherwise you will never find it on your own.
      Where do we start?

      1. SereneScientist*

        Ooo, that is a tricky but very good question! I hate to give this answer because it’s going to sound wishy-washy: it depends heavily on what the content is and who is using.

        I would say the basic principles are this:
        1. The resources need to be organized in a central database or knowledgebase of some kind that is accessible to everyone who needs it. I have found in my past organization that this was the heaviest lift because you have to basically gather the documents from all the random places they can end up–whether that is people’s local drives to some random server or even copies hiding in emails.
        2. Next, you need to have an organizational structure to the resources. Depending on the size and scale of your org, something fairly simple like organizing by function and topic might be sufficient. My org is large enough that we have an entire proprietary taxonomy that we use to organize our internal library by.
        3. You need someone (or ideally a team) to be the owners of this repository. Their basic tasks are upkeep of the materials, archiving of old content, gathering new content, and sharing content. In smaller organizations as with my prior one, knowledge management and learning/development were lumped into one team. There are many ways these can be configured but the long and short is that there needs to be *somebody* who owns the stuff.
        4. Once this is all in place, you will need to work on behavior change. This will mean communications around the launching of the repository, trainings to show people how to use the new system, trainings around the cadence of content maintenance/refresh/archiving, and regularly trainings, maybe once a year, as a reminder. This sort of change management is probably the second heaviest lift and requires the most sustained effort because changing behavior is incredibly hard. You also should consider making learning this knowledge base system part of onboarding.

        These are very very broad strokes but hopefully helpful?

  127. PayRaven*

    Non-work-related: I’m a competitive sewist, cosplayer, and costume contest judge! I love breaking down how I would approach making something or helping people present themselves and up their game in competition. Hit me up!

    1. A Girl Named Fred*

      This isn’t exactly what you described, but I’d love to hear your thoughts – when starting to make your first costume(s), I’ve heard both that one should focus on an easier outfit in order to build up skills, and that one should focus on a costume they’d love even if it’s made of trickier tasks. The former meaning that you get the sense of success from doing a good job, even if the costume isn’t as much of a “passion project”, while the passion for the latter would keep your motivation and excitement up, even if you’re having to work harder to learn the things you need to. I’m curious what you would tell someone who was asking you which approach to pick for their first project?

      1. PayRaven*

        So I actually come in on the opposite end: the only way to learn how to do something is to do it, and the only way to force yourself to push through unexpected and unfamiliar challenges is to REALLY REALLY care about it, so I say: make the thing you want to make!

        This can be tricky because it’ll be especially clear where your eye and your hand don’t line up, but you’ll also learn SO much faster, be more motivated, and be happier with the end product if it’s something you actually want to have and wear, not something you feel like is homework to get to the “good stuff.” It’s all going to be a lot of work anyway (and when you’re starting out it can actually be pretty tricky to identify when a simple design is deceptively difficult), so do the work you actually want!

        1. PayRaven*

          The dark underbelly of this is that if you’re just starting out, depending on your taste and how harshly you judge yourself, you’re not GUARANTEED the satisfaction of doing a good job even if you start with something “simple,” so might as well fail big.

          1. A Girl Named Fred*

            Oooh, y’know, that reframing may help me actually get going! I’ve been interested in cosplay for ages but never committed for a variety of reasons, one of which was fear of failure and not wanting to do the “boring” projects to learn. Deliberately choosing to go big because hey, if I’m possibly gonna fail anyway then I should Fail Big, might actually get me moving. Thank you!

            1. PayRaven*

              Most welcome! I say this NOT for self-promo purposes, but if you ever want to chat about it or want to bounce ideas for how to approach something, you can find me on Insta as millimetriccosplay!

    2. BlueCloud*

      Not exactly what you’re offering so feel free to ignore the questions. How do the economics of this work? Do the contestants pay to enter? Does the winner get a cash prize (if so, how much)? Do the judges get paid? Is it as cut throat (and judgy) as it seems from the Instagram comments section? I’m just generally trying to figure out if this is something I could continue to do as a random Halloween fun thing or if it’s worth trying to invest time to find a community/side gig there

      1. PayRaven*

        Heya! The answers to these can vary somewhat across events (every convention is its own entity), but I can give you the general trends I’ve experienced.

        No, contestants don’t pay to enter. (They paid to attend the convention, but there is no additional fee.) Cash prizes are not unheard-of but also not the standard; it’s more typically about the recognition (which means it is very, VERY difficult to go cash-positive or even break even in this hobby).

        Judges are also handled differently by convention. I’m a volunteer; I essentially donate a day of my DragonCon to the contest. Many cons have their paid guests judge the contest as part of their duties.

        Side-gig: the way people make a side-gig is generally by doing commissions for other cosplayers, which is outside the competitive sphere. However, I cannot say enough for the community, both in and out of the competitive space. The vast, VAST majority of cosplayers never compete! And I enjoy entering competitions to meet people and talk shop.

    3. Iris Eyes*

      How neat! How have you (or how have you seen) people deal with cosplay builds, (that can sometimes take years) and also accounting for possible/probable body shape/size fluctuations?

      I like cosplay but I’m not heavily invested in fandoms and don’t really interact with many video games or animes. Are there types of events or cons that more on the crafting and “dress-up” than the IPs? I seem to be most inspired by historically inspired takes on concepts or characters.

      1. A Girl Named Fred*

        Such a good question! That’s another thing I’ve wondered about for cosplay, like, if it’s possibly going to take me upwards of several months to finish, how do I make sure that the stuff I made in month one still fits in month eight? Do I just need to be prepared to take in or let out as needed?

      2. PayRaven*

        MY DEAR NEW FRIEND HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD OF DRAGONCON–

        Re: types of event: every event has its own “vibe,” but I’ve seen a TON of growing interest in historical-esque, Hannah Alexander-esque, Sakizo-esque, and other mashup/setting-shifted variations on characters in the last decade or so, to the point where it has a presence at nearly every event I attend. DragonCon (one of the older shows, held in Atlanta, GA every year) has an especially strong mash-up/variation culture, and it’s something I’ve been doing since I started out, making “ballgown versions” of anime designs. There’s absolutely a community for that, all the way from the broad-fantasy-inspiration to the nitty-gritty historical practice communities.

        Re: body shape/size fluctuations: as someone who had to rebuild her entire cosplay wardrobe post-COVID, that is something that is DEEPLY on my mind. The best thing you can do is build in flexibility, whether that’s with lacings or other extensible closure types, or by leaving a lot of seam allowance or “room” in the garment itself. My most recent build was a mammoth fantastical loosely-renaissance ballgown and not a single piece of it has a closure that’s locked to one specific measurement. If you’re thinking about it at the construction stage, you can definitely work it in!

        1. Iris Eyes*

          So I could do a 18th Century ballgown of a slug in a sci-fi book? Because I want to do a 18th Century gown based on a slug in a book lol Or maybe the bustle gown based on a hockey team

          1. PayRaven*

            I’m pretty sure I’ve literally given an award to an 18th century ballgown of a slug in a sci-fi book. (It might have been 19th century.) ABSOLUTELY live your dreams.

            There’s an entire community of practice at DragonCon based on dressing up as the CARPET. That ISN’T EVEN THERE ANYMORE.

            1. PepperVL*

              That’s not entirely true. There’s some in the admin area. If you catch the Marriott employees when it’s slow and ask nicely, they’ll take you back to see it and get pictures.

      3. PepperVL*

        I will add to what’s already been said by pointing out that historically inspired costumes are especially great for fluctuating body sizes, especially if you use historical patterns and some historical techniques. L can be tightened or loosened. Buttons can be moved (and extra button holes, if needed, aren’t usually noticeable on a garment. Pleats and pin tucks can be removed or adjusted. And didn’t forget that historical foundation garments helped people keep the same size and shape and fit the proper silhouette. If you make or buy a high-quality properly fitting corset, you can gain a pretty substantial amount of weight before you can’t get your waist & bust down to the size you need to fit in the costume.

  128. Rage*

    This is pretty niche, but I have 20+ years of experience with wildlife rehab and the management of birds of prey in captivity. If you are considering falconry, wildlife rehab, or how to help wildlife, I’m your go-to. (Also, if you are writing a book and it you want bird/wildlife info to be accurate – I am happy to help.)

    Slightly less niche – I have experience with EAPs (almost as much as with birds), so if you have questions on how to evaluate them, what services you should consider, how to effectively use your EAP as a manager, etc.

    1. I edit everything*

      Re: falconry. I was editing a client’s novel, and she had a falconer feeding a peregrine cracked corn. I googled, but found nothing to support that. What’re the chances a peregrine falcon would eat any kind of grain? (The corn had to change no matter, due to the setting–they wouldn’t have had corn in 1300 Europe.)

      1. Rage*

        Zero chance. Peregrine falcons (indeed, all birds of prey) are 100% meat eaters. Obligate carnivores. At least a portion of their diet should be whole prey: organs, bones, fur. Organ meat provides essential nutrients and the bones/fur keep the crop clean. You can feed straight muscle meat, as long as there is some bones/fur/organs.

    2. Em from CT*

      How do I begin in wildlife rehab, especially bird rehab? Should I volunteer for my local Audubon? Take some kind of training? I’m vaguely aware there are state regs about this, but would love to just learn more. Even basic things–at least once a summer birds get into my house and exhaust themselves trying to frantically get out, and I’d love to know how I can help them. (Last time I opened all the doors and windows and set some sugar water down next to the bird, but I have no idea if that was right.)

      1. Rage*

        A really good resource is the International Wildlife Rehabilitation Council (website in comment below). They have educational courses for rehabbers, both online and in-person. Their “Basic Wildlife Rehabilitation” is probably going to be the minimum requirement if you want to get your own license.

        But rehab is expensive (food, veterinary care, enclosures/space), and you must hold both federal and state permits (assuming US; I’m not sure about other countries). Google a list of rehabbers in your area and reach out to see if they would like a volunteer. I would recommend an organization rather than an individual, because they are likely to have a process for volunteers and you will probably get better information/training all around.

        If you have volunteered with a rehabber (or more than one) for a while and want to step up your game, you can ask them to add you as a subpermittee – this will allow you to function under their permit, but also allow you to do things more on your own. The person who I was a subpermittee under passed away last summer, and my state is weird about rehab, so I don’t currently hold a rehab license (I’ve founded a nonprofit to pick up where my late mentor’s org left off, and I have to have that plus facilities before I can go for a rehab permit – so I’m building up our collection and education business first, and will go for rehab 1-2 years after we get land).

      3. Rage*

        Re: birds that get into your house and can’t get out. You can just catch them either with a net or pick them up when they are exhausted. Put them in a box with holes and a lid, let them rest in a quiet, dark room. 1-2 hours maybe. Then take the box outside and open the lid.

        Same goes if a bird flies into your window and is knocked unconscious. Sometimes all they need is just a bit of time and safe space to recover.

        1. Em from CT*

          Thank you SO much! This is all such great info. I really appreciate you taking the time to type it up!

    3. Hannah Lee*

      As an avid birder, including years as a hawk-watcher, I’m delighted to make your virtual acquaintance, and really admire people who do wildlife rehab!

      I don’t have any questions about that right now, but RE EAP’s are their good or good-ish options for smaller employers?

      I manage benefits for my employer, we’re under 25 people. I’ve never come across a plan that would be affordable for us, even though there’s been times it would be helpful. I’ve only actually had an EAP where I worked once, and it was decades ago at a huge multinational, so it may be I’m just not aware of “where” they reside these days, or if it’s even an option for small employers.

      I’ve usually wound up pointing people who come to me to the add-on benefits from our medical insurance provider (they sometimes have lifestyle, or stress management or other services available) and have gathered hotline #s and program info for crisis centers, suicide prevention, financial assistance/counseling, housing assistance, career planning as needed. But if there were something affordable to the company, that would be free or reasonable to costs to employees, it could be great to have.

  129. Strategic Future*

    I am a pioneer in the fields of competitive intelligence and strategic foresight. With over 10 years of experiencing starting and scaling these capabilities within companies of all sizes and industry verticals from pre-revenue startups to F500s, my goal is that some day this will be a formal, functional capability within all companies. Just like companies recognize that a superior sales team, a robust marketing engine, and a differentiated product can all be sources of competitive advantage, they will see that a strategic foresight capability will enable them to outpace the competition whether they are an established leader or emerging disruptor.

    1. samecoin*

      This feels like something I would be good at in my industry (health care) . I often hear telling I have a good strategic mind in this context

    2. Anonamouse*

      This sounds incredibly cool- and i agree that this is a seriously underdeveloped skill in modern industry! How did you get started?

    3. Anecdata*

      Can you talk about how you go about starting it – how do you suss out whether you have enough leadership buy in to do anything; how do you get people on the same page about what your goal actually is, etc?

  130. OverEasy*

    Very very simple but somehow can’t figure it out Excel question: is there a way to just swap two cells? I have to do this ALL THE TIME but I can’t find a way that isn’t cut A, paste A somewhere else, cut B, paste B where A was, cut A again, paste in B’s old spot. Seems like way too long for something so small.

    1. Jodie*

      If they’re immediately adjacent to each other (e.g., cells A1 and B1 or A1 and A2) you can.
      -Click the rightmost or bottommost cell (B1 or A2 in those examples), and hit CTRL + X to cut.
      -Then click into the leftmost or topmost cell (A1 in both examples), and hit CTRL + SHIFT + the equal sign (=) key. They should swap!

    2. Ginger Cat Lady*

      If you’re on a windows computer, you can use the windows key and the V key simultaneously instead of Control V and it will show you the last several things you copied. This would mean you can skip the “paste somewhere else and recopy” step.

      2. Anonamouse*

        THANK YOU! This is the most helpful thing i’ve learned so far from this thread! Mind Blown.

  131. Busy Middle Manager*

    Random more midlevel computer tricks that might get your brains working and start a thread:

    If you are doing a mail merge with dollars and cents in it and there are suddenly loads of decimals, click on the #, shift+F9, then the term “merge field” pops up. You can then format it by adding a “ \# $,0.00” in the merge field screen so no matter how many decimals are in the #, only 2 (or every how many appear)

    SQL: I was confused about subqueries for a long time. Now I realize how simply they are. You have your “base” query. Then just do a left join ( select ……new query)) newquery on newquery.id = basequeryid

    You can do it forever. I now organize my queries like this where all of the math and renaming columns is done in sub queries. You can also use them to expand what you can include in one query. For example, you want a column for last bill, bill before that, and bill before that. Well do three subqueries, one looking for last bill, one for prior bill…

    Speaking of which, I now add orders to all of my subqueries using dense_rank () over (partition by…order by) add a desc in there if you want the latest record to be first
    Then you can pick order = 2 if you want second to last

    Also in SQL I used to struggle with picking time bands for how to run stuff. Then I mastered “end day of previous month” type formulas. You basically date the end-of-month day function then work backards. In this case, you add a day to that using dateadd, then minus three months using dateadd
    select dateadd(MM,-3,dateadd(dd,1,EOMONTH(getdate())))

    I used to update every query every month from lets say where thing > ‘05/01/2024’ to where > ‘eomonth(Getdate())’ now I never need to update it

    More basic excel stuff:
    Sum up items using multiple criteria using sumifs instead of sumif
    wrap formulas in =iferror(..in case there are division errors

      2. ArtK*

        I don’t know much about free, although I have used w3schools for reference information about a lot of stuff.

        I like many of the courses at Udemy which are relatively inexpensive and frequently go on sale.

        Happy to answer questions for you. Among other things, I was a contributor to the SQL standard.

  132. Petréa Mitchell*

    Hi, everyone! I know a lot about organized fandom and fan conventions. Do you have any questions about specific cons, are you looking for a recommendation, or are you just curious about some behind-the-scenes aspect of them? Ask away!

    (I also do a Substack newsletter about fan conventions, which I’ll put in a reply in case that goes over the line for self-promotion here.)

    1. Petréa Mitchell*

      My newsletter is SMOF News, at: https://smofnews.substack.com/

      (SMOF is a mostly tongue-in-cheek term for the volunteers who keep things running behind the scenes at the fan-run conventions. There are already so many sites called “Convention News” or variations thereof…)

      1. I Have RBF*

        LOL. I’ve chaired a local con, and worked staff on regionals – mostly registration, dealers and a little security/operations. I’ve retired to just being a dealer nowadays.

        But the managing of volunteers in a con-com environment is something I know fairly well.

    2. Esme_Weatherwax*

      No real questions, just thanks for doing this work. Fandoms are at once wondrous and exhausting. Conventions are amazing and also such a lot of work. The world would be a less magical place if people like you didn’t step up.

      1. Petréa Mitchell*

        Thanks for the kind words. I’ve only ever volunteered at the staff level, though. I’m standing right next to you in awe and gratitude at the sort of people who are con chairs or division heads– and then go back and do it again year after year!

    3. Database Developer Dude*

      As an attendee, if I see something entirely inappropriate, like someone being harassed, is it better to go find a staff member or to put myself immediately between the harasser and harassee and have someone else go find a staff member?

      1. Petréa Mitchell*

        Yes and yes. There are a lot of volunteer-run, nonprofit conventions which only aim to make a modest amount over their costs, enough to keep the con going and have a rainy-day fund. There are also commercial conventions that make enough money to be one or more people’s primary source of income.

    5. Deb*

      I’ve never been to one but always thought it would be fun. How do I find what’s offered in my area? How do I determine if it will be good or not?

      1. Petréa Mitchell*

        It depends on what you’re looking for. There are some sites out there with specialized listings for particular regions or types of convention. But putting the name of your city or the nearest metropolitan area plus a convention type into a search engine will often find you what you’re looking for in the area.

        If you’re not sure what term to use, here some of the major convention types that you can find just about anywhere in the US, Canada, or Europe:

        * Science fiction convention – generally has a small number of guests, tons of fan panels, readings, free autograph sessions, an elaborate costume contest with planned skits, a small amount of gaming, possibly a video room, and possibly a professional art show. (Sometimes also called “literary” conventions, but they generally cover all types of science fiction and fantasy– it’s more that other conventions don’t tend to have any book-focused content.)
        * Comic con/media con/pop culture expo – where you go for celebrity autographs, a big vendor area, a costume contest, and not much else. Be aware that autograph/photo-op fees are often bigger per item than the initial cost just to get in the door.
        * Anime convention – kind of midway between the above, with a bunch of celebrity guests but also a fair amount of fan programming. Anime cons usually have a strong gaming component as well. Warning for older fans: most anime cons skew young (teens and 20s) and tend to be designed with the interests and stamina of that age bracket in mind.
        * Gaming convention – usually focused on tabletop games, but there are some out there where the main attraction is video games. Larger gaming conventions will have some of everything.

        Some smaller categories, where there may or may not be something near you, include: costuming/cosplay, filk (music), anthropomorphic/furry, steampunk, and actual comics. (Due to a quirk of history, most events with “comic con” in the name are actually focused on celebrities.) Then there are cons which just focus on subsets of the above categories (miniatures gaming, a specific TV show, etc.) and a some oddballs about very specific interests that don’t really fit with any of the above.

        For finding out whether it’s any good, your main source will be people talking about their experiences at the last one. If you’re on social media, search on the convention’s name there and see what comes up. If the convention has a community group on Facebook, or a Discord server, or something similar, you can look in there and see if people are complaining about anything in particular.

  133. Not So Evil HR Lady*

    I manage leaves of absence at a state agency and have a strong knowledge of FMLA more specifically. Contact me if you have questions!

    1. Kristinemk*

      If someone is taking time off for surgery, just a week, and is using their PTO, we’re still required to both give them the FMLA forms and count that against their FMLA time? What if they don’t want to count it towards that?

      if so, do companies actually issue the FMLA forms to employees when they are out for this sort of thing? Or is trying to do this just creating extra work when it may not really be necessary?

  134. Not Your Mother*

    Work knowledge: Ask me about how to use Asana, Clickup, or Airtable.

    Life knowledge: I’m very very good at coming up with scripts for how to talk to your partner about X. (I am to your relationship communication what Alison is to your workplace communication.)

    1. Garblesnark*

      Asana – I love Trello and have been thinking of trying more robust project management tools. where do you go when you’re not sure how to make Asana do the thing?

      1. Not Your Mother*

        I love Trello too! But Asana is definitely more flexible and customizable. When I need help figuring out how to make Asana do the thing, I start with their help center. Did you have something specific you were trying to do, or were you just wondering about where to go when you have questions?

    2. sal*

      I have an airtable question! I have a spreadsheet where I’d like to keep track of lengths of time. The wrinkle is that some of the lengths of time are ongoing, whereas some have concluded. For the latter, I know how to make a formula that says please calculate the duration of the time between Onset Time and End Time. And I know there is some way to make a formula for the former, that basically says “please calculate the duration of the time between Onset Time and the present moment as I am actually looking at this airtable.” But is there a way to combine the two formulas into one command that outputs into one column, so that if it’s ongoing time (as denoted by “ongoing” in column B), use the latter formula, but if it’s a set duration with an end time (as denoted by “closed” in column B), use the former formula? This has been an open question for a couple of years for me now so we just do the calculation manually which is deeply annoying for me.

      1. sal*

        The formula I’ve been using for the set durations is:

        DATETIME_DIFF({End date of time}, {Onset date of time}, ‘years’)

        and the formula I’ve been using for the ongoing durations is:

        DATETIME_DIFF(TODAY(), {Onset date of time}, ‘years’)

      2. Not Your Mother*

        Oooooooh, have you tried using IF? Off the top of my head, this comes to mind:

        IF(
        {Column B} = “Closed”,
        DATETIME_DIFF({End date of time}, {Onset date of time}, ‘years’),
        IF({Column B} = “Ongoing”,
        DATETIME_DIFF(TODAY(), {Onset date of time}, ‘years’)
        )
        )

        So it will check the value of column B and then determine which formula to use.

        Be sure to check my formatting – the comment box here is limiting my ability to make formulas. :)

  135. residentmartian2*

    I am autistic and social cues can be hard. As it happens I also host a lot of 2-6 person meetings with vendors and brokers who present samples for me to review. Usually I will know the broker but am meeting the vendor reps for the first time. I could really use a breakdown of professional etiquette as it pertains to starting and ending these meetings!

    Does it matter which order I shake hands in? When walking into the room usually everyone is seated already and I don’t want to assume seniority or default to old gender norms. But there’s not always a clear order when people have spaced themselves out around a round table and some are waiting in their seats for me to get to them and others are popping up and leaning over others to extend hands.

    Should I always plan to walk people to the front door? It seems like a polite thing to do but more often than not it turns into a “midwest goodbye” where we exchanges thank yous and shake hands in the room and then have to do it all again at the door, plus needing to come up with small talk for the walk up front.

    When they want me to try food samples during the meeting, is there any polite way to demure? I usually would prefer to try them myself later on rather than in the middle of a meeting but it feels rude, and sometimes they just open the packaging and hold it out to me which feels even more rude to refuse.

    1. April*

      Generally, I shake hands in order of how they’re introduced to me. If there are no introductions or everyone knows each other, I shake based on who is closest to me and go around the room. If someone declines a handshake or are too far away, a slight head nod or hand wave will do.

      I wouldn’t walk someone to the door unless they have not been in that office before or they have mobility issues. I would still ask if they want help.

      Saying “No, thank you,” to any food offerings should be enough. If the person insists, you can joke that you are letting them have more.

      Hope this helps. Good luck!

    2. Betty*

      For the food samples, if you have a place you can set it (on a napkin for instance), one option might be to take it, set it down, and say “thanks, I’m looking forward to trying this after we wrap up”, then jump into whatever topic of discussion. (You could also say “oh, I don’t want to slow us down while I stop to enjoy this, I’ll try it later” as a way to decline.)

  136. TinkerTailor*

    Self-taught tailor here! Need nice clothes on a budget but they’re too big/small/hideous in current pattern? I can help you figure out the best thrifty tips and how to sew simple adjustments, or more complex stuff if you feel adventurous!

    1. Too Long Til Retirement*

      I know how to sew and I have made my own clothes before. However, I am very intimidated about hemming a pleated Anthropologie dress without a serger. Any tips?

      1. TinkerTailor*

        So, I had to look up that brand dress (sorry, very Podunk area, we don’t get a lot of good brands here), and that seems to be fairly easy. So, if you don’t have a helper to pin the hem up for you, use a measuring tape at the waist of the dress, mark where you want the hem with a pin, then drop another pin half an inch below.

        From there, you pin the hem up to that second pin; then sew. After this, roll the hem again to match the first pin; sew, and you’re hemmed without a serger! It’s a heavier hem, but it will hold well even with satin/sheer fabrics. if you want the pleats back, simply use a steamer or steam on on low to carefully repleat the hem.

    2. not applicable*

      I have a question about a Singer machine! I somehow managed to get my teeth feeder thingy – the part of my machine that moves the fabric automagically along without me having to pull – to stop doing its function. I don’t remember how I managed to do it, and I can’t seem to find any buttons or levers to bring them back. Any ideas?

      1. TinkerTailor*

        Hey there! So, there’s no real button or lever for the feeddogs; they’re likely jammed or need oiling. I would suggest starting with jamming; make sure nothing is stuck, like thread, a bit of broken needle or fabric, and if it looks clear, take a drop or two of oil, preferably a 3-in-1 basic multipurpose brand and drop it directly into the feeddog mechanism. From there, hand crank the wheel on the right side until you start seeing them move. Now, if they don’t start moving, you may have a broken spring or other mechanism, and you’ll have to reach out to a local repair service to have it looked at.

        Good luck!

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        Depending on the machine, there may be a button/switch/lever/command to drop the feed dogs. I’ve never had a Singer with that feature, but I have had a Brother with a switch that set the teeth high, low, and completely dropped. I remember one setting was “silk” but I don’t recall the others.

        If it’s a vintage machine – I would look up the model number to find the manual, or search the model number + “drop feed dogs” to see if you can find a forum post. If you don’t know the model number, there’s a site that will let you look up the model by serial number – link in reply. You can also look under the machine and see if you can spot a linkage that connects to the feed dogs and follow it back to wherever the switch is hiding.

        If it’s a modern machine, check your manual. You should be able to download the manual from the manufacturer’s website. Alternatively, do the same web search and it’ll probably come up.

      1. TinkerTailor*

        Ahhh, knits. The best way to practice is to pick up some super cheap remnants or old tee shirts, and just have at it. If you have any kids or niblings or other children in your life, making clothes for animals or making other fabric stuff, like capes/tents/etc is a great way to practice and not have to get rid of stuff, or you can practice with basic patterns and donate to local charities that need clothes.

        As for tips:

        – Test your stretch; 2-way and 4-way can give you very different, very interesting changes to the same pattern.

        – Knits like to drape; they don’t hold shape the same as non-stretch blends, so when styling knits, keep in mind that draping patterns are your friend.

        – Use elastic thread in the bobbin, not in the top. It sounds counterintuitive, but it actually can work out very well; however, if you do want a more stretchy appearance, use elastic in both spots, and widen your stitches and loosen your tension to compensate for the machine’s need to pull things tight.

        – Measure twice, cut once. Knits can be especially hard to handle starting out (I’ve screwed up so, so many times), so don’t hesitate to double check yourself~!

        Have fun!

        1. Kristin*

          Instead of an elastic thread bobbin, you can sew your seams/hems with a narrow zigzag stitch instead of a straight stitch, this will allow the seam to stretch

    4. A Girl Named Fred*

      Ohh, I want to start sewing more of my own wardrobe!! But my main question right now is regarding how to take in the waistband of a pair of jeans that are purposely designed to be uber-stretchy and pull-on (specifically, Betabrand’s denim.) I have two pairs that fit me well except for the fact that the waistband is huge, so they constantly slide down. Is there a way to take them in that will still let them slip on the way they’re supposed to, since they don’t have a button and fly?

      1. TinkerTailor*

        There is, and it’s relatively easy. I’d suggest getting a bit of elastic band and cutting small slits in the inner waistband (if there’s fabric to do so) and threading that through to tighten up the jeans without losing the pull-on ability.

        If that won’t work, another option, since they are super stretchy, is to make simple darts at the back center and side seams; you can adjust the darts as needed to make them fit, but since the material is already that stretchy, darts won’t take away the perk of just pulling them on.

        Good luck!

    5. BlueKat*

      Many of my jeans/yoga pants/etc have developed holes in the thigh area due to chub rub – is this the sort of job I can give my local tailor to fix, or is that too small/insignificant a job for them? What about socks with holes in them? If it’s something I can/should try to fix myself, how?

      1. TinkerTailor*

        You can absolutely take these to a local tailor, though to be honest, the yoga pants probably aren’t worth repairing; the material just doesn’t take a patch well, and to darn them would be too much money spent for something that may not hold up much longer.

        Jeans are much easier; I’ve patched and repatched my jeans for years thanks to chubrub, so my best suggestion is to take an old pair of jeans that are way too worn out to repair, cut them up, and make patches out of the strongest material, such as the lower legs. You can either do a running stitch by hand that weaves the materials together (I use a heavyweight cotton quilting thread for that), or a machine with any stitch that produces a cross stitch or other similar pattern. You can try this with your yoga pants, but I’ve had issues getting the patches to take; it may be better to replace those, but keep the jeans.

        Socks with holes in them depend on the size of the holes. Small holes are easy to darn; there’s an awesome set of videos on youtube to show you how to darn big knits. Big holes, sadly, aren’t as easy, but if you like crazy socks, sacrifice another holey pair for patches and use hand embroidery stitches to make them funky and fun.

        1. BlueKat*

          Cool, thank you! Would patching jeans be doable by hand? (I don’t have a sewing machine but do have very basic hand sewing skills) Otherwise, I guess it’s off to the tailor for me!

      2. Sewist*

        To help avoid this on new clothes I use an oval of iron-on (fusible) interfacing inside each trouser leg. I use the slightly stretchy stuff designed for knitted fabrics, because there’s a fair bit of bias flexing in that area.

        You can also do this if the fabric has started to get thin.

    6. anon in uk*

      I wanted a sleeveless blazer, so I bought a really nice (lined) blazer at a charity shop and took the sleeves off. I’m happy to finish the new armsyces by hand and the fabric does want to cooperate (it’s already creased in the logical places on both the main fabric and the lining, which helps a lot), but I’m struggling to identify a good way of doing this tidily. The rest of the lining is pre-finished. I’ve done some trial and error with slip stitches, but am not satisfied yet. Most of my sewing experience is on the machine, and I usually make skirts and dresses so I’m not accustomed to armscyes. Any tips or additional ideas? Thanks!

      1. TinkerTailor*

        Hmm, can you open a seam elsewhere inside the blazer to turn it inside out? That way, you can sew the new armholes on machine, then slip stitch the interior seam after you’re done so that no one’s the wiser! It’s tricky, I hate doing sleeveless stuff myself, so I usually use that method to eliminate my shaky slip stitches!

        Good luck!

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        I would do this by hand. You can either turn the fashion and lining fabric in, making sure the lining is rolled to the inside, and slip stitch along the edge.

        Or, if the lining won’t cooperate – cut a bias facing out of some light weight fabric that matches or is darker than the body. You could potentially even cut up the sleeves for this. I would make the facing 2″ wide to start with. Sew the facing by hand or by machine into the armscye, then turn it in. Manipulate the facing to be smooth – an iron will come in handy here, and you may need to trim it narrower, especially under the arm where the outside edge of the facing will be going around a much greater curve. Turn the edge under a quarter to half an inch and slip stitch down to the lining only. This will cover the raw edge of the lining and make a nice finish.

    7. Green Tea*

      I bought a nice women’s blazer online but it’s turned out too wide in the shoulders and too long for me – I look like a middle school debate club kid wearing their older sibling’s clothes.

      Is there an easy way to adjust? I can sew a straight line but don’t have advanced clothing construction skills – I mainly do quilting.

      1. Mad Harry Crewe*

        Length is easy, shoulders are not – there’s a lot going on in the shoulder. I would return it and try again. If you’re dedicated to this particular garment, I would go to a professional tailor for alterations and see what they can do.

      2. TinkerTailor*

        I’m going to disagree with Mad Harry here; if it’s a lined blazer, you can make a straight dart down the middle of the back, especially if the lapel is lined as well, or make double straight darts behind both shoulders and down to form a simple princess cut. Simply cut or pull the lining seam stitches out, and take in to the amount needed. If it’s a little too much, you can always take it to a local tailor!

  137. stupidly self-conscious*

    So I just finished active cancer treatment (hooray!) but I’m stupidly self-conscious about my hair. It’s probably 4-5 inches long and just WILD…plus it’s (hopefully not permanently) very thin right at my widow’s peak.

    I agreed to do a 4-5 minute LIVE interview tomorrow in studio. I’ve done television interviews, but never in the studio, and my live interview experiences have been…not great. (The best one was when the photog’s camera got unplugged and the signal completely cut out.)

    Any advice on hair, makeup, nerves, etc. would be greatly appreciated!

    1. Not Your Mother*

      Yay for finishing active cancer treatment!

      I have a dear pal who’s wrapping up her own treatment and she also happens to be very stylish. A cute headband is her go-to. If you’re worried about it looking thin from the front, maybe try putting the headband in and then pushing it a bit forward to give the front some volume while also keeping the wildness out of your face.

      My makeup knowledge is minimal, but my nerve knowledge is not — I’d suggest practicing talking out loud to yourself in the mirror about any topics you expect to talk about in the interview. Doesn’t need to be perfect or fancy language. Just getting the words out and getting used to how you feel speaking out loud about it helps a lot!

      Good luck!

    2. Ali + Nino*

      Congratulations, what a great milestone! I agree with the suggestion of a headband – maybe opt for a thicker, fabric one for comfort and coverage.

      Hair: The goal is neatness. So wild is great, but controlled, if that makes sense. If you now have curls/waves, you could try to use product (such as mousse or gel) to define the texture. (I’m guessing you’re not going to have a pro doing hair & make-up for your pre-interview? If so – ask for their advice!)

    3. MHG*

      Ask the producer you’re working with about makeup, in case they have a pro! And if you do have to do it yourself, pay special attention to your eyebrows, especially if they’ve thinned out from the chemo. I find that when my eyebrows are filled in (I use a very inexpensive NYX eyebrow pen for this), everything else looks more put together.

      1. stupidly self-conscious*

        No pro, unfortunately. :( I finished the heavy duty chemo a little over a year ago, so my eyebrows/eyelashes are OK. My hair is just wild because I haven’t cut it since I buzzed it when it started falling out. It’s like…every hair is the length of forehead bangs, slightly curly, and thick everywhere except for the top of my forehead.

    5. Curly*

      Do you have a patterned silk scarf headband? Ideally with a color found on the top or jewelry you’re going to wear? Let a few short wisps/curls peek out around it here and there, but the headband provides a smooth visual line that frames your face, so the overall effect is neat.

  138. Ostrich Herder*

    I mentioned it above, but building Squarespace sites is a huge part of my work, and I can answer a lot of questions about making the platform work (sometimes in unexpected ways) if there’s anything you’re trying to accomplish!

    1. Garblesnark*

      Can I ask how you chose between Squarespace, WordPress, Weebly, AWS, and the many others?

      1. Ostrich Herder*

        It happened a bit by chance. We were primarily building more robust sites on a non-Wordpress open source CMS, with multiple full-time, full-stack developers on staff. I was doing more project & client management type stuff, and had some front-end experience, but no back-end, and got tagged in to build some quick and easy ‘microsites’ for clients with smaller budgets and less tech knowhow. At the time, Squarespace was the best ‘drag and drop’ style builder I could find, much more flexible and design-forward than something like Weebly or Wix (this would have been in about 2018.) I liked the user experience and anything I couldn’t change (visually) in the design editor, I could get to with custom code.

        The microsites went well, and we started getting referrals for smaller, lower-budget sites that I continued to build in Squarespace, and as I got more experience, we found we could use it for more and more sites. It definitely has its limitations, but at this point we aim for clients that fit within those limitations. If I were choosing a platform today, Squarespace would be in the conversation, but so would Webflow, Duda, etc. – though I haven’t looked too deeply into alternatives, though, too busy building websites!

  139. ZSD*

    Unfortunately, I’ve recently gained knowledge of what to do when a parent dies, or what to do when a parent needs assisted living, needs to make a long-term care insurance claim, etc. I can answer questions for those of you earlier in this process than I am.

      1. ZSD*

        Thank you for the kind words. When my parent died, I found a federal government list (link to follow in another comment) of entities to notify. Without that, it would never have occurred to me to, for example, cancel the voter registration.

    2. I edit everything*

      I am in the middle of this now, with my mother in a memory care facility and receiving hospice care. I wish someone would teach us how to do all this stuff!

      My question: who has to be called first, once a person dies, and what can wait for a month? I’m thinking on the business/legal side. Retirement accounts, Social Security, IRS, banks, credit cards, etc. I’m her executor/POA, and I have no clue how to go about all of that when the time comes.

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        We used an estate attorney because my parents’ will was in probate. However, he instructed me to keep a spreadsheet of assets, payments, date called/cancelled, and who I spoke to. I started with retirement accounts so that money would be coming in to pay for bills, mortgage, etc. I did this a couple days after their passing and once the death certificates were in hand in case I had to email/fax it for proof.

        My best piece of advice is to turn off their home phone and redirect their mail to a PO Box. It was so difficult (mentally and emotionally) to go to their home and have to sort mail and listen to messages from credit card companies. It made is so much easier to be in their home without the mail/phone stress (credit card collections are awful btw)

        The face of grief looks different every day. ❤️

      2. ZSD*

        Best wishes for you and your mother.
        If you have a funeral through a funeral home, the funeral home actually notifies Social Security for you. And Social Security in turn notifies Medicare, so you don’t have to worry about either of those. (If you’re not going through a funeral home, then I would put Social Security at the very top of the list of groups to notify.)
        I would get her credit cards canceled and send a copy of the death certificate to one of the three credit bureaus as soon as you can, before someone steals her info, potentially opens a new card in her name, etc.
        I think you can take time to breathe a little before moving on to the retirement accounts and banks. You’ll still want to get that sorted out within, say, three months, but you can allow yourself space to do part of your grieving.

        Hm. If your mother no longer uses her credit cards anyway, maybe you could go ahead and cancel them now. (Be sure to request the cash-back checks first!) As stressful as having a parent in hospice is, you might actually have more head space to deal with this now than you will in the immediate aftermath of her death.

      3. ZSD*

        I typed out a response and am hoping it’s just stuck in moderation, but if I don’t see it appear in an hour, I’ll respond again. I’m not ignoring you!

    3. Cheezmouser*

      I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are healing. I’m at the very beginning of the process, looking at assisted living options and how to pay for them for my dad. My dad has social security income that puts him above the poverty threshold for many benefits, but has no other income. I have a full-time job and 2 kids in daycare/preschool (aka two baby mortgages) so I can’t pay much for his care or take care of him myself. I have no idea where to start, so any advice pointing me in the right direction would be helpful. Thanks!

      1. ZSD*

        I should preface this by saying that I wasn’t in this exact situation, and of course I’m not a financial advisor, so this is just my *impression* of what might help.
        Based on what you’ve written, I’m inferring that your father doesn’t have a living spouse and doesn’t have long-term care insurance. (If he does have LTC insurance, then that might pay for part of his assisted living, assuming they can confirm that he does need at least two types of assistance, such as assistance with bathing and dressing.)
        If your father’s assets are low enough, Medicaid (not Medicare for assisted living) might pay for part of his care. The asset and income limits vary by state, it seems, but are quite low, generally $2,000 in assets. Since he doesn’t have a spouse, I *think* you would need to sell his house and car (if applicable).
        However, you can put his assets in an irrevocable trust (not a revocable trust), and then they become invisible to Medicaid…in five years. So if you put everything in an irrevocable trust ASAP, then in five years, he might qualify for Medicaid.

        Some soft-skills type notes: If your father has other retirement savings and is upset about burning through them to pay for his care, try to remind him that this is what he was saving money for all those years. I had to repeatedly remind my parents that using their retirement savings to pay for assisted living was *exactly what had been the plan all along.* Of course they wanted to keep that money to pass it along to their kids, but really, they saved money so that they wouldn’t have to worry about paying for their care in old age.
        Also, do not for a moment worry about the fact that you’re not providing the care for your father directly. I know that’s what people did for generations, but it’s actually much better for him to be getting care from licensed, trained nurses, who have both the knowledge and the physical strength to provide quality care. So helping him get into assisted living IS your way of caring for him. Also, although you won’t be the one helping him dress, bathe, and eat, you’ll be providing care by advocating on his behalf with the facility. There will be times when you’re dissatisfied with the care he’s receiving, and you’ll step in and get the facility to improve his care. THAT is another way of providing care. I mention this just because some people carry guilt around the decision to help their loved one enter a long-term care facility, but really, it’s an expression of love and care, and there’s no need for guilt.

    4. Rage*

      Do you have any good resources for what is expected of the Executor? I’m Executor of my parents’ estate(s), while my brother holds the Medical Power of Attorney (since he lives closer). But I’m in a completely different state and so will have to navigate everything from a distance, when the time comes .

      1. ZSD*

        I’m afraid I don’t have resources on that, as only one of my parents has died, so the other one just inherited everything by default. We’re working with an elder lawyer to get ready for when our second parent dies!
        I *believe* that responsibilities of the executor vary by state, so if you’re going to look it up, make sure you’re looking for the right state. (At the very least, the laws for who can be an executor vary by state. In some states, a person who will themselves inherit can’t be the executor.)

  140. DameB*

    Travel writer here. Can help with grammar, cliché busting, fiddly bits of text, and thinking about decolonizing your language when writing about travel.

      1. DameB*

        I’m happy to tell you but I’m An Old and don’t think it’s a useful roadmap for others in 2024 (in case that’s what you’re looking for).

        I started as a junior editor at a regional magazine (think “Pennsylvania Magazine”). It paid peanuts but I got to learn about the nuts and bolts of writing for a publication: restaurant reviews, in-depth looks at local museums (“shovel museum” anyone?), a calendar of events, best ice cream parlor in the county, top ten beaches, etc.

        I also did the once-a-year article about other articles in the region (“Antiquing in the midAtlantic”). I was the most junior so I got the boring states (Maryland, I always got Maryland). That taught me about comping hotels, how to write logistics, etc.

        To make ends meet, I also did freelance for Frommer’s, Fodor’s etc. Taught me a lot of the phone/desk research that’s necessary for travel writing. You mostly don’t travel to do travel writing!

        I had sys-oped a WWIV BBS in college so my editor thought I might be useful when we set up this newfangled thing called a website. (the publisher thought it was a passing fad though.)

        Using that, I cobbled together enough HTML skills to move to a portal (early competitor to Yahoo). I handled the news desk and the travel section. When the first dotcom bust happened, I moved to a regional paper’s website where I did news and travel.

        While I was a SAHM, I did freelance gigs — still mostly writing about my own region for papers/magazines far away. Then I got a job writing for a luxury travel agency.

        It’s less exciting than it sounds. Mostly I interview people who have been places and ghost write articles for them.

      1. DameB*

        As a reader of AAM, you probably understand that this is a very complicated subject. Here are some good first steps, though!

        1. Acknowledge that colonialism isn’t over, it’s still very present. Ask anyone in American Samoa or Puerto Rico on election day.

        2. Recognize that colonialism isn’t what we see in the world. It’s HOW we see the world. Google “Map of the world” and you’ll find a million Mercator projections — this is a distorted view of the planet designed as a literal tool of colonialism. Start using another map.

        3. Don’t pretend your view is objective. It isn’t. Acknowledging that you have a POV is very important.

        4. Use the language of the people you’re talking about. That means using diacritics and updated names. Mumbai not Bombay. Māori not Maori. Reykjavík not Reykjavik. Türkiye not Turkey. Sometimes that’s hard to do — not everyone in a population agrees!

        5. Be careful how you describe remnants of colonialism. That’s a beautiful antebellum plantation, with elegant columns and spreading oaks that recall when belles in hoop skirts would sip mint juleps. It’s ALSO a place where thousands of people were enslaved and murdered.

  141. Schmitt*

    I love regular expressions.

    I am a hobby career coach and use the Management 3.0 Moving Motivators exercise often, getting rave reviews. I’m also good at helping figure out the questions you should ask in an interview.

    Looking for advice: I get cranky occasionally – brusque, a little sarcastic, frowny. Since I am a person who influences the mood of a meeting, this is suboptimal. I would love to have the perfect professional, calm shell I see many of my coworkers wearing.

    1. MHG*

      Advice: Try to figure out why you’re cranky. Are the meetings at 11 and you might be hungry? Keep snacks available. Is there one person who always says the thing that annoys you? Recognize it, and then think about ways to quell that. And if it’s just that you’re feeling cranky, sometimes just noticing that feeling is enough to help it subside.

      Also, if there’s any coworker you particularly admire and are comfortable with it, ask them how they do it.

      1. Em from CT*

        I also find myself getting cranky if I’m feeling very over-stimulated: in a loud room, lots of people around, lots of noise, lots of bright lights. YMMV, obviously, but that’s right up there with being hungry as triggers for me!

  143. DataQueen*

    I’m very good at fundraising development operations. If you have any questions about Raisers Edge, acknowledgements, managing major gift pipelines and campaigns, event operations – anything behind the scenes on fundraising.

  144. Databases*

    If your work majorly involves databases, could you share what your job is, how you got there, and what your day to day looks like? I’m trying to find my right fit!

    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      Data Scientist (Computational Biologist) and I deliberately took projects to get away from databases. I know my clinical research counterparts use a lot of SQL.

    2. Anna Badger*

      Product manager, got there via doing customer support and turning that into customer insights.

      The bit of my job that involves databases is largely taking a set of user flows and/or user requirements that I and/or a designer have generated, sitting with my engineering manager and software engineers to generate a set of fields we’re gonna need, and then mapping those fields to an architecture that makes sense.

      1. Databases*

        This sounds so interesting! Did you have any technical background? I really like working closely with technical folks and have thought about customer success management or project manaemnt as an option too.

    3. DataQueen*

      I work in fundraising/development operations, where I use a database of donor and gift records 24/7 to pull lists, analyze prospects, report on organizational revenue, plan events, and more. I got into it in a roundabout way – I was a marketing major and wanted to go into sales. The job I just happened to get was for a software company that made databases. Even though I wasn’t on the technical side (I was primarily a schmoozer) they trained me on how to use the system, and I got pretty good at it. When I was looking for a new job, I basically applied to all our customers to be the person that uses it. I knew how to maximize the system and knew what the company *wasnt* telling our customers, so I knew all the tricks, which made me a great end-user. I was pretty junior at the time and knew I wasn’t worth suing, so I wasn’t worried about the non-compete. I got a job with one of the customers that used our software, and never looked back!

      The technology has advanced a lot since I started – it’s no longer on a floppy disk :) – but I’m so in the weeds that it’s been a continuous learning on the job, and I’ve never needed formal education, coding lessons, etc.

      The fact that I was customer-facing first, in my opinion, really helped me in my career as I interviewed for new jobs. Some of my fellow database folks that I’ve met through my industry are less sociable, and very rigid with the laws and regulations of the data structure. By default I’m a people-person and a problem solver – as long as it doesn’t piss off the IRS, I’ll figure out a way to make it happen in our system. Having the mix of soft and hard skills means that leadership trusts me to present the numbers to the board, and to work directly with the CFO on revenue, etc., and that’s helped a lot with career progression.

    4. ArtK*

      My current job is a tad complicated: I’m a developer on a product that can take a customer’s database and make a copy of it with private information (PII, PCI, PHI) redacted in some way. I work with multiple databases, although mainly relational ones.

      I’ve developed other applications that use databases extensively. Things like medical records, and supply chain traceability. Before that I was a developer *of* database systems, like Teradata and IBM’s DB2. I got into that when I was hired into Teradata many, many, many years ago.

    5. Database Developer Dude*

      Software and Database Engineer here….. I started out as a Programmer in the Army, and working in IT you sometimes don’t get to specialize, you work on whatever there is to work on. I discovered I really liked dealing with databases, and continued my education, training, and experience in that direction.

      When I left active duty, I curated my job search in that direction, and I’ve been working for the past 10 years in a management and technology consulting firm, and taking gigs as they come if they have a major database component. I specialize in Microsoft SQL Server.

    6. Anon Trainer*

      I manage an event management database, which is essentially the user-facing side of a cloud-based software, though I get to write code for custom reports using the SQL data itself. I think in some places this is called a Production Manager or Product Specialist, and I’m sure many other things besides.

      I started out as a user myself, and quickly established an aptitude and interest in how the system worked, using it to better my team’s processes, etc. Years later when the previous database manager left, they reached out to me to see if I’d be interested in the role, which I was. I didn’t have the technical background for it, but I learned SQL on my own so I could support the report functions while also doing all the front end management.

      I work in non-profits and this seems to be a common way people come into these roles, I assume in part because we don’t pay enough to hire folks with the proper technical experience.

    7. Mad Harry Crewe*

      Tier 2 tech support for a SaaS legal compliance tech company. I don’t build databases, but I query them daily.

      How I got here: tech support is a good entry into the tech world. I was transitioning from a totally different field (B2B travel wholesaler). I had tons of customer service experience via phone and email, and tons of experience troubleshooting and solving problems for my team. I started in T1 (learning SQL, learning the product, learning more complex troubleshooting) and then moved up to T2 when a position opened up.

      Day to day: I’m handling tickets and internal questions. I do things like:
      – creating a one-off report of data that a customer can’t pull from the UI
      – reporting on customer stats, usage logs, usage types for CSMs, CS management, and Product
      – collecting information and validating bugs for ticketing to the Engineering team – sometimes this involves the DB, sometimes it doesn’t.
      – provide process guidance and expertise for customers who are doing complex things – for example, updating a large amount of data, doing data clean-ups, that sort of thing. Helping the customer understand and avoid pitfalls or making their lives harder
      – internal documentation, maintenance and new docs
      – helping the T1s with tickets they’re stuck on, but that don’t rise to the level of needing escalation

        1. Mad Harry Crewe*

          There are slow periods – our ticket volume rises and falls, so sometimes I just don’t have much going on in my own ticket queue. I like having slower periods to balance things out, and I’m still answering questions in chat for both Tier 1 tickets or for folks on other teams. I also work fast, so I think I tend to have more downtime than the other T2s. Right now we’re in a weird place because my company got acquired, so we’re in the slow process of migrating customers off the product I support. At some point, I’ll be ramping up supporting the new product, but that hasn’t started yet. We’re no longer releasing new features (which inevitably have weird interesting bugs to resolve) or doing quality of life improvements, the focus is just keeping the lights on/maintenance mode for the next year or so.

          So looking at the time before we announced end of life – never boring when the team was working well. I am good at amusing myself when there’s less work, and I always knew there would be an uptick, so I appreciated the slow times for giving me a break rather than getting bored or frustrated. There’s always questions in chat or housekeeping to do – we tend to get slow around the winter holidays, so I spent one December overhauling terrible old internal documentation. That was satisfying and made everyone’s lives better.

          There was a several month period where we didn’t really have a manager, and that was boring/frustrating because our T1s were keeping tickets that they should have passed off. So a lot of what I got was messed up because someone without the right experience had been trying to solve it, or the customer was mad because it was taking way longer than it should have. Once we had a new manager in place, he sorted things out pretty fast, defined the roles much more clearly and helped make sure tickets were moving through the team rather than getting snagged on someone who was thiiiiis close to solving it, they’ve got it, no really.

          Since announcing end of life – yeah, it’s been a bit weird and slow. Tier 2 is going to start carrying some of the migration work, which should be interesting and let me get a taste of the new product, which I’m looking forward to. I’m casually looking, but I still like my team and I’m not in a huge rush to leave.

  145. CostumesOn2*

    I’m a costumer for film and TV. I can answer questions about the industry, working on set, and costuming. AMA!

    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      What happens to outfits worn on TV after the episode is done? Where do they come from? Is there a giant TV outfit closet somewhere? Do actors get to take stuff home? Or does it get donated?

      Is it true that clothes in film/tv are all tailored to the actors and not off the rack?

      1. CostumesOn2*

        Clothes come from different places depending on time period and budget. Regular stores, thrifting, costume rental houses, or constructed. There’s not exactly a giant TV closet, but there are huge rental houses that stock everything from period costumes to modern day. They sometimes get things donated from past productions. For example, I’ve been on three movies that have used garments from Titanic.

        After an episode is completed the costumes live in the actors “closet” either on the costume truck on set or at the production office. Once the show is completed things are generally saved either for reshoots or the next season. Then it just depends. Some production companies want us to sell or donate as much as possible, or they keep it for their next project. Actors sometimes get to take/buy things at the end. It just depends on the item and if we will need it again.

        Generally, if it’s modern day, clothes are just off the rack and we do alterations for fit. Some items are custom made to measurements as well. If it’s a period piece or a fantasy type thing more garments will be built.

        2. Pocket Mouse*

          That’s so cool! Do all garments have a life story like that, where you can find out what other productions they’ve been used in? Does that information ever mean a costume won’t be used (like if it’s the same actor in a different movie, that’s too close for comfort)?

          1. CostumesOn2*

            No, not everything. We only really know if they have name tags inside, and it’s a 50/50 shot if a production will use nametags or not.

            We will reuse things if we can, esp if it was built custom for someone. You can only really do that though if it’s a basic item.

      2. Exit-Stage-Left*

        I can answer this as I used to do production office work and part of our job was setting up set sales!

        Costumes particularly go a bunch of places:
        – Key pieces that might be important in the future (reshoots, reference for visual effects, archival reasons) go into storage.
        – Many pieces are rented from costume houses and have to be returned (there’s companies that specialize in things like police outfits, period costumes, and the like)
        – Some pieces are paid placement or loans from designers for publicity that have to be returned (fancy dresses / suits / high end fashion).
        – Some actors will have a clause that they get dibs on their outfits after this point if they want to (I worked repeatedly with one actor who had this clause and would take *every single thing* he wore… every film. I think he would often only agree to do films to get free clothes – he was an unusual size that needed extensive custom tailoring).
        The stuff that’s left will often go to a set sale (or a company that does set sales for film) to be sold to the public. But at that point you’re often getting a bunch of “generic” stuff (clothes worn by minor or background characters) not really cool “film stuff”.

        There are gems you can find though. I still have an *amazing* bathrobe I bought from one of my shows for $20 but was probably worth a small fortune (it wasan *insanely* expensive high end bathrobe, that had all the branding picked out so it could be remade as a hotel bathrobe from a fake hotel in the show).

        1. anon_sighing*

          > – Many pieces are rented from costume houses and have to be returned (there’s companies that specialize in things like police outfits, period costumes, and the like)

          Ahhh, this explains why some exact outfits appear in different shows years apart. There is a fun Tumblr where people spot outfits seen across shows. :)

    2. HannahS*

      How did you get into your job? Who are the various stakeholders who get a say in what the final costume looks like?

      1. CostumesOn2*

        I went to school for costume design, then worked in theater until I got tired of a lot of work for no money. I decided to join the union, and got extremely lucky with timing and got hired immediately because I can sew well.

        So many people are involved in the final look. The costume designer and director first and foremost. The actor has some amount of say, but the bigger the star, the more input that is taken generally. Then producers always have a say as well. Then there may be other departments that get involved if there are stunts that are performed, or extensive hair or makeup that needs to be worked around etc.

    3. Le le lemon*

      1. How are extras dressed (and make up, etc)? Told to bring clothing of a certain style/colouring? Provided clothing? I’m thinking extras in the bar, walking down the street, etc. Do they do their own hair/makeup? (I’m assuming no, given the lighting?)
      2. How often are you working in multiples of an outfit, for scenes where there’s potentially messy food involved, or the actor gets wet?

      1. CostumesOn2*

        1. Generally for BG we will send an email asking them to bring clothing options within certain guidelines such as bring church dresses or outfits you’d wear to school. No logos always and sometimes specific colors or styles. They bring what the have and then we supplement from our costume stock. Sometimes we don’t see them until the day of filming and sometimes we get a pre fitting with them esp for things like period pieces. As for hair and makeup, they do the same. They’ll send out guidelines and some people will come with their hair and makeup done and some don’t so HMU will fix them up. All this happens very very quickly before filming starts.

        2. We work with multiples frequently. We have multiples of any important piece (if the character always wears a certain jacket for example) and anything that will get bloody or messy. Also if there is a stunt double we may have mults for both the actor and the double. We like to over prepare if possible.

    1. DataQueen*

      What’s the best logic puzzle book/app/program that you’ve seen that would help with LSAT prep, that isn’t an official LSAT prep program?

    2. Nervous Nellie*

      It may be too late for you to see this, but I love symbolic logic! That almost any sentence can be turned effectively into a math formula thrills me to no end. I took a course in college and buy every old logic textbook I come across just to pay with the exercises in each chapter. A kindred spirit you are indeed!

      1. KateM*

        It of course varies from time to time – I have 40+ different types in my collection – but my current daily playlist consists of Nerdle family (including Nanagrams and 2d Nerdles, but I skip the micro one), Battleship and Stitches, plus non-logic puzzles like Worldle (my geography knowledge has gone up a LOT) and Phrazle (as has knowledge of English idioms).

  147. HBJ*

    I see a lot of confusion on how drug testing actually works at work, so I manage a federally regulated/mandated drug abatement program and have for several years.

    1. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

      Are there any trainings or informational materials you could recommend?
      My org is looking for professional resources on deescalation and bystander intervention (either separately or combined) and while I have an idea of what seems to work, I don’t have any pro resources, nor time to vet them.

  149. RunShaker*

    I work in Trust Services and concentrate on IRA side of business. I keep up with the changing IRS rules, write procedures and job aids while manage a book of client IRAs. I can assist on answering questions about excess contributions, naming beneficiaries, how to name and distribute to a trust and how it affects the payout of an IRA plus other IRS rules. Any questions on your IRA and retirement and IRS rules, I’m able to assist. I am not a tax advisor though and cannot answer how it affects your tax return.

    1. former recruiter*

      Hi RunShaker! Do you know the best way to convert funds inside a Traditional IRA over to a Roth IRA? I’m not sure how it works with the tax implications.

      1. RunShaker*

        hello! your IRA custodian will have a form for you to fill out to make that selection and they will process it for you. You’ll need to open a Roth IRA to accept the conversion. The IRA custodian should give you a choice to convert cash or securities. If you convert securities, your IRA custodian will calculate the value of the securities not you. Your income doesn’t matter either when it comes to converting from Traditional IRA to Roth. The issue is you’ll pay taxes on the dollar amount you convert and tax amount will depend on your income so you should speak with tax advisor to find out how this will affect your taxes. Also, once you convert, the IRS no longer allows you to undo this transaction. You will receive a tax form 1099R with a code 2 which stands for IRA-Early Distribution Exception Applies which means you will not be charged a 10% penalty for taking the funds out of Traditional IRA. This form is mailed by end of January the following year. You’ll receive a 5498 tax form with a code 3. If you have a tax advisor, you’ll need to take the 1099R to them and let them know you did a conversion.

        That’s a lot but please ask clarifying questions. I’ll be checking periodically.

  150. Chocoholic*

    I am a very experienced knitter. I can knit garments and other fun items. Happy to help with a question or a yarn or pattern recommendation! :)

    1. Esme_Weatherwax*

      I’ve gotten pretty confident knitting flat, and making the occasional hat or mitten or sock, but I’ve tried to knit a sweater twice and everything goes pear shaped when I get to the sleeves. Supposedly the patterns I worked with were “easy” but do you have something for someone who has failed out of sweater kindergarten? I can follow patterns OK; it just seems to be the increases or joins or whatever is required to make sleeves happen that send me off the cliff.

      1. Chocoholic*

        Are you doing sweaters where you knit the sleeves separately and sew them on, or a top down sweater where you start at the neck and do increases and then separate for the sleeves? I find the latter to be a bit easier than the former, especially since you can try it on as you go.

        1. Esme_Weatherwax*

          I have tried both. It did seem marginally less disastrous in the top-down pattern but still got bad enough that I abandoned ship because it was clear the end result would not be wearable.

          1. Chocoholic*

            Something I have done was to make myself a chart/spreadsheet that shows row-by-row how many stitches I should have so that I can check myself easily. Print it out and make a mark to check off each row so you know exactly where you are in the pattern.

            Also, another idea would be to start with a baby sweater – it is the same process but a smaller scale and you can practice that way. You could donate or gift the finished product if you wanted to.

            Tin Can Knits is a company that has a huge size range for sweaters, so if you picked one out you liked, you could make a smaller size and if it went well, you could try an adult size.

            Many knitting shops offer classes for a project or if you just need help with 1 part of it, you can sometimes make an appointment and they will help you for a small fee. Just some ideas! :)

    2. JTP*

      I ordered yarn, and it came in something called a “hank”? How do I knit with that? I’m used to knitting from a ball of yarn.

      1. FormerLegalAssistant*

        You have to wind the hank into a ball and then knit from the ball. Your hank is probably tied with waste yarn in a couple of places, but unwind it from the hank carefully anyway. Once you’ve unwrapped it, you can hang it over the back of a chair (or use a swift if you have one) to hold the hank while you ball it up. You can use a ball winder for this or just wrap the ball manually.

        1. Caramel & Cheddar*

          I used to put it around my knees before I had a swift, so that’s another option.

        2. Mad Harry Crewe*

          If you have a local yarn store, they might let you borrow the swift and ball winder on a slow day. Some of them charge a small fee for this.

    3. HannahS*

      YES!!! Ok, so for my next sweater I’m looking for double-knit yarn (going to make either Kate Davies’ Braid Hills cardigan or another Carbeth Cardigan, which is with DK held double.) I have pretty sensitive skin, so something that’s on the softer side, but long-lasting and durable. As a benchmark, Cascade 220 doesn’t last well enough for me.

      I would also appreciate a recommendation for a good fingering-weight yarn for my first forays into colourwork.

      Thanks!

        1. Chocoholic*

          I don’t do a ton of colorwork and don’t usually use yarn that small, but I’ve used the fingering weight yarn from Knit Picks and that worked OK for me. Have you tried Knit Picks for the DK weight? I use mostly worsted, but their worsted has held up for me OK.

          I’m not sure if Lambs Pride makes smaller weight yarn than Worsted an Bulky, but I’ve had good luck with the durability of those (have used them for slippers)

          1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

            I was going to suggest KP’s “Palette” for the fingering weight yarn – I’ve done quite a few double-knit color workscarves with it and it’s worked a treat. And it comes in a million and twelve colors.

            1. Caramel & Cheddar*

              I like KP Palette for that too. The other ones I’ve seen suggested a lot but haven’t personally tried are Jamieson’s and John Arbon’s. I haven’t tried them because it was hard to find them from my local sellers, or if they had them they only had their sock yarn lines and I wanted something that didn’t have nylon in it.

              I also just found a good blog post from Karie Westermann on good yarns for colourwork: https://www.kariebookish.net/blog/4plyyarncolourwork

      1. Caramel & Cheddar*

        Are you against a gift card because you don’t like to give them or does the knitter in your life not like them?

        I ask because people with highly specalized hobbies often love the freedom of getting to choose something themself. Any time someone has bought me a knitting-related gift, it’s almost always been something I would never in a million years use because, through no fault of their own, there’s no way they could have known what the right thing was.

        1. Garblesnark*

          It’s mostly that, at the gathering where everyone is unwrapping things, I don’t want them to have NOTHING to unwrap. I’d be delighted to give them something small and mostly a gift card.

        2. Chocoholic*

          I agree with this – maybe you can ask if they want a particular item, like a ball winder and swift. If you go to a yarn shop, they often have other items like stitch holders, fancy needles, blocking mats, etc.

          I like getting gift cards because then I can buy what I want – if someone gifts me random yarn I may or may not be able to use it just because there might not be enough or whatever.

        3. Garblesnark*

          I’m happy for the main gift to be a gift card, but I’d like them to have something to unwrap while we’re all unwrapping things together.

          1. Chocoholic*

            I recommend going to a yarn shop and seeing what fun items they have. This year for Christmas, my husband gave me a little box that holds stitch markers, a tape measure, darning needles, a mini crochet hook and mini scissors.

    5. Little John*

      Ooo! I have a question! I’m trying to make knitted hats with a ribbed edge and a regularly knitted-in-the-round top. The edge is supposed to be tighter to my head than the rest of the hat. However, all my rib-knit edges come out way looser than the rest of the hat, like a big soft decorative frill that doesn’t help hold the hat on my head and doesn’t look good. It’s frustrating. Do you have any suggestions for how I could correct this?

      1. Chocoholic*

        Try using smaller needles for the ribbing. Your pattern should give you a gauge, and you can try knitting with different sized needles until you get the size it says in the pattern.

        It is not uncommon to use smaller needles for ribbing and then switch to larger needles for the “body” of the hat for just that reason. You may need to experiment a little to get the right size.

      2. Caramel & Cheddar*

        A lot of patterns will suggest going down one or two needle sizes for a ribbed brim, so that you’re working the same number of stitches but at a tighter gauge, which makes the circumference smaller.

        Some patterns will also have you knit the brim and then increase evenly by a few stitches on the first round after the ribbing. You could reverse engineer your hat if it’s one you’ve made before, e.g. if you need 108 stitches for the main part of the hat and you’re doing 2×2 ribbing, cast on with 104 stitches and then increase 4 stitches in the first round after the ribbing (or whatever math makes sense for how much looser the brim was).

    6. Caramel & Cheddar*

      Sorry I’m jumping in on your replies, I’m on my lunch break and also love knitting!

      1. Chocoholic*

        Not a problem at all! I’m working on a tedious project today and am taking some little breaks, but I do have to do my, you know, work :) Glad someone else can help too! :)

    7. Tau*

      Are there any particular tricks for knitting colourwork with many colours simultaneously? I made a self-designed pattern for my sister-in-law last year that turned out gorgeous (magpie fingerless gloves in stranded colourwork), and now my dad has requested gloves of his own with a different bird species. My problem is that although I could get away with three colours at a time for the magpie gloves, I’m pretty sure this species will require four or five at times and that’s… a lot of yarn for stranded colourwork, especially on a small-diameter thing, especially with me being a religious devotee of ladderback jacquard for catching floats which also bulks things up. I’m currently wondering whether I can do some stranded/intarsia hybrid, although it being in the round of course makes things complicated… or can you do duplicate stitch over larger areas without losing your mind or it looking terrible?

      (Of note: I have been knitting for some years but am entirely self-taught so have a very eclectic assortment of knitting knowledge.)

      1. Chocoholic*

        I think for that I would try duplicate stitching. I don’t do a ton of colorwork but that is what I would probably try first. I know you can do intarsia on things knitted in the round – that is how argyle socks are done.

        1. Caramel & Cheddar*

          I *do* do a lot of colourwork and this is exactly what I would suggest. At four and five colours per row, some of them are just not going to be used often enough to justify any of the regular colourwork methods, so duplicate stitch is going to save the day there. I loathe intarsia, though, so that’s part of my calculus here.

          One tip for if you’re going to duplicate stitch is to make the stitch you want to duplicate in a colour different from the ones that surround it so that it’s much easier to tell later on which one you need to duplicate.

          1. Tau*

            That last paragraph is already a very useful tip, thank you! Are there any issues with the underlying colour showing through on the duplicate stitch? There are some white highlights that would probably work pretty well in duplicate, but I’m wondering whether it would really show up as as white as knitting those normally.

            I admit that I’ve never done intarsia, only stranded colourwork – it just doesn’t seem super appealing with all those little balls of yarn, *and* I like knitting in the round too and I know intarsia in the round is possible but complicated. Your opinion only solidifies my avoidance, lol.

            1. Caramel & Cheddar*

              I think you can make colour theory work to your advantage here. Dark colours recede and light colours come to the foreground, so if you make the stitch you’ll eventually duplicate in a darker colour, it will show less under the white duplicate stitch.

              I also sometimes just do the duplicate stitch twice because I don’t find that it always looks as thick/full as I’d like it to, but of course this adds more bulk so your mileage may vary. The key thing is to not pull the strand too tightly because that will make the strand thinner and definitely make the background colour more prominent.

      2. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        Depending on the pattern progression from round to round, could slipping some stitches and working them on the next round allow you to carry fewer colors per round?

  151. April*

    IT Support Analyst here with cell phone expertise! I have also led dozens of interviews (mock and real) for IT and nonprofit ED roles.

  152. CanadaGoose*

    The expertise I was licensed in was nutrition counseling, but I won’t do any medical-type advice here, of course. Also ask me about building habits that work with your sensory sensitivities or other life circumstances.

    1. Garblesnark*

      Oddly specific and maybe not your area of expertise – I need a bunch of electrolytes all day, per my doctor, due to a legitimate health condition. Also, my dentist wants me to not drink sugar. Additionally, I am either allergic to or have as a serious migraine trigger: stevia, aspartame, erythritol, sweet & low, equal, and every other non-sugar sweetener. (Except monk fruit, which I can’t find anywhere by itself and not cut with something I can’t have, or honey or agave, which are sugar as far as my teeth are concerned, or coconut sugar.) It sort of seems like my only options are giving up on teeth and becoming a mad scientist who mixes their own electrolyte drinks at home. Suggestions?

      1. ArtsNerd*

        What about sipping on broth? I have POTS and keep a jar of miso in the fridge to whip into a broth when I am feeling woozy.

        1. Garblesnark*

          This is an interesting idea, thank you! I was picturing cold sports drinks and have never thought of broth as having electrolytes.

        2. CanadaGoose*

          Yes, broth may be electrolyte-rich enough! Good idea. Miso is delicious if you like it, but a salty homemade bone broth, chicken soup base, or lots of similar options may fit the needs described above.

      2. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        I loathe most of the non-sugar sweeteners and have other issues that limit my use of rest, I need to moderate my sugar intake, and I use electrolytes heavily at some times. I’d been getting by on home-made electrolyte mix, but a company I like, Skratch Labs, just came out with a professionally produced electrolyte mix that’s completely unsweetened, no added ANY sweeteners, which they call Everyday Hydration Mix.

        I haven’t tried it yet — I just saw the new release advert yesterday–so I can’t give a review. But their other, sweetened, hydration mixes have been pretty good, so I think it’s worth a try.

        Link in followup comment, or just search for Skratch Labs unsweetened hydration mix.

        1. Garblesnark*

          Oh interesting, I’ll check this out!

          I’ve seen a fair number of ads for another sweetener free one, Buoy, but it has anise as a main ingredient and they claim it is taste-free, while anise is one of the most taste-exuberant substances I have ever encountered, so I feel I cannot trust them.

          Thank you!

        2. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

          Skratch Labs unsweetened hydration mix:
          https://www.skratchlabs.com/products/hydration-everyday-drink-mix?variant=40521014050887

          My homemade mix as a jumping-off point for mad-scientist DIY:
          2-3 parts magnesium citrate powder with or without calcium (Natural Calm is a brand I can get in the US; unflavored only, the flavors all have Stevia, ugh)
          2 parts potassium citrate/bitartrate powder (NoSalt from McCormick brand contains potassium chloride, potassium bitartrate, adipic acid, silicon dioxide, mineral oil and fumaric acid)
          up to 1 part sodium chloride (ordinary salt, fine to swap iodized, kosher, sea salt, pink Himalyan, whatever; I use a low amount of salt in my drink mix because I use a LOT in my food and my overall needs are moderate. It’s fine to adjust based on your needs and other dietary intake.)

          Mix the powders, store in dry container until used, add to water with or without other flavorings, such as tea or a splash of lemon juice (ReaLemon brand dehydrated unsweetened lemon or lime juice powder is nice sweetener-free option that can mix with the powder, not to be confused with the same brand’s Stevia-sweetened drink mix which is… ugh, very Stevia flavored). I usually use about 1/2 teaspoon of powdered electrolyte mix to 1L water for daily sipping or post- sweating rehydration, and it has only a faint tangy-chemically flavor that lemon covers well. Occasionally I’ll mix a supersaturated 1/2 teaspoon powder in about a shotglass of water.

          Magnesium citrate is poorly absorbed or metabolized by some folks, ironically often folks with POTS, in which case it has less electrolyte effect and its laxative effect is more noticeable. It’s fine to reduce or omit it, or one of my friends recommends replace it with a smaller amount of magnesium glycinate, which is absorbed differently.

            1. CanadaGoose*

              Yes, well done, Higher Ed Cube Farmer, thanks for sharing your experience. I’m just getting around to replying now that my workday is done, but was going to endorse either the “mad scientist” option – talk to your local pharmacist about ingredients as needed – and the option of unsweetened electrolyte mixes, often marketed to runners.

      3. Warrant Officer Georgiana Breakspear-Goldfinch*

        Skratch Labs: flavored with fruit, no stevia, electrolyte bombs.

  153. Excel Gardener*

    Knowledge request: Networking across departments in a large corporation with an eye toward eventually transferring.

    My current role is a systems analyst, think one part IT and one part data integrity. I’d like to move into a data analyst role, and I believe I have the skills to do so (but mostly from self-study and graduate courses).

    I currently work for a Fortune 100 company and would love to get know people on data analytics teams and perhaps do a few informational interviews, all with an eye toward eventually transferring. But I have no idea how to do this. I’m remote and, at least at my level, teams are pretty siloed. Do I just use the intranet to find people who work in analytics and cold email/slack them? As far as I can tell, there aren’t any active internal networking programs in the company, though maybe I’m missing something.

    1. Cersei Lannister*

      I meant to post earlier today that networking is my special skill, so glad to be able to respond here! It will be a little more difficult to network effectively when you are remote, but not impossible at all.

      1) The best way to network is to deepen relationships with people on other teams that you’ve worked with previously. I suggest reaching out to folks on other teams that you’ve worked with before and asking if they have time for a virtual catch-up chat. You can use these conversations to learn about any new projects/initiatives they are working on that could be interesting to you, and to mention that you’d like to connect with folks on the Data Analytics team (and ideally this conversation happens organically). Large companies often have a lot of interconnectivity, so you never know if someone happened to work on that team in the past, or their close work friend is now a member of that team, etc. Expressing interest in a particular area/team to people who know you and your work well is often the best way to connect with teams that are not normally in your orbit.

      2) Is your company mostly remote or is there a corporate HQ where many employees work on site? More importantly, where is the Data Analytics team located? If possible, spending a week at your corporate HQ is a good investment of time to network and get “face-time” with important stakeholders in your department or other departments. Even though many people can be effective when working remotely, there’s still no substitute for in-person interaction, especially when you want to get to know someone on a deeper level or solidify an existing relationship.

      I work in a satellite office for my (Fortune 500) company, and I try to visit our corporate HQ at least once a month for 2-3 days. When I am there, I will reach out to a variety of senior leaders (1-2 levels higher than me) for meet & greets or catch-ups to update them on my projects and hear more about what’s happening in their world. A lot of times there’s not overlap in our projects, but it keeps the relationship warm and it keeps me on people’s radars.

      One caveat is that you need to understand the culture of your company. I luckily work for a place that really encourages coffee chats and inter-departmental networking, so my approach fits in very well with the company culture. You should definitely pay attention to how people build relationships across teams at your company and tailor your approach if the above doesn’t make sense for your company.

      3) Pay attention to your boss’s relationships. Depending on your relationship with your boss, you may be able to leverage his/her network to expand your own. If there is someone that your boss seems to have a solid relationship with, and that you would like to get to know, ask your boss to make a connection. This can be tricky sometimes – it works best if you have a good manager who supports your career development. If you think that is the case with your boss, you lose nothing by asking. It can also help you win points with your boss to see that you are actively trying to expand your network, since you having a larger network can also benefit your team down the road.

      4) Volunteer! A Fortune 100 company likely has a DEI committee, Community Service committee, or a number of affinity groups depending on how you identify (PoC, LGBTQ, Veteran, etc). Joining one or more of these groups and participating in their events is a great way to meet people from across the organization, and makes it more likely that someone can connect you with the team that you want to join.

      Some of the above may seem aggressive or like brown-nosing to people who are unaccustomed to networking, but it’s definitely effective. If you are personable and appear genuinely interested in the person you are talking to, you will start to build a stronger network of co-workers who think well of you and can recommend you/advocate for you for other roles and projects. It takes time, so persistence is key.

      Good luck and hope it works out!

  154. desk platypus*

    Does anyone have any experience/expertise in the field of career changing, specifically for a librarian? I do cataloging, have some experience in reference work, and no in depth IT work like with an ILS or website maintenance. I love public libraries but burn out is very, very real from dealing with the current state of culture wars surrounding libraries.

    1. H.Regalis*

      I went from libraries to IT. If you can find an entry-level IT job, that’s how I got into it. I looked for the jobs that are like, “Bring a good attitude! No experience necessary,” and managed to work my way up. I have another friend who did the same thing.

      A friend of mine is going libraries to data management. In government right now at least, there are a lot of data manager jobs, and the descriptions read like a library job but for the particular org’s data. The jobs my org has been posting for that pay roughly double what the library jobs do.

    2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

      You could try moving from public libraries to academic libraries–catalogers are much harder to find than other skills, and especially at larger universities, catalogers don’t often have as much public interaction as other librarians.

    3. FormerLibrarian*

      I went from public libraries to sales in a library-adjacent field. Because y experiences met a lot of different needs but my education felt odd in non-library applications, I actually zeroed out my resume and just put in my employment history. Then for each job I was applying for, I went through the list of attributes on the job description and pulled relevant examples of me being awesome from my life and career.

      Be prepared also for a speed change. When I left the field, I had a solid job offer from my current employer less than two weeks after I sent in a resume. It was honestly faster than I had even been expecting to get an interview scheduled. :)

    4. Common Taters on the Ax*

      I know someone who did the switch from cataloging to IT by getting a job at a library software company (I think it was user testing) and then moving on to other companies from there.

  156. silly little public health worker*

    public health worker! i am great at setting up complex events (including things that require heating/cooling) with 0 electric or internet. i’ve run pretty big, open-to-the-public, walk-up COVID testing and vaccination sites, and i’ve done a lot of public health education stuff in…like, any possible setting.

    this includes (not exclusively but does include) teaching CPR, opioid overdose reversal, and emergency first aid. i can’t *explain* how to teach a CPR/first aid class (you need a certification) but i CAN tell you how to get your lessons to stick and how to actually get someone to make the dummy click.

    1. HannahS*

      I have a question! Do you have a recommendation for a phone app that can help cue me of how to do CPR (or ACLS)? I keep my certification up-to-date, but suppose I’m on an airplane and in a panic I forget?

      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        I recently did first aid training for work with the St John Ambulance and they have both a website and app with extensive instructions on how to do all kinds of first aid, including CPR.

  157. Anna Badger*

    Don’t think I’d call myself an expert, but I co-lead (rather than manage) a widely neurodiverse team, with consistent feedback that the team culture is particularly welcoming and supportive. AMA about building team norms/culture, meeting facilitation, or just generally helping people do their best work when it comes to neurodivergent folks.

      1. Anna Badger*

        Ah, that I might be less helpful with – I’m mid-career but I’ve only worked at 3 different companies so I’ve only shifted twice. one thing I’ve had people ask me about in interviews is what we do to actively build team culture, and that’s the question i reply to with this stuff, if that helps?

  158. Rae*

    I could really use advice/recommendations for managing nonprofit finances, and recommendations of solid Quickbooks courses. I’m a volunteer treasurer for two nonprofits and it feels like a whole 2nd full time job.

    1. silly little public health worker*

      hi, hello, what do you currently do with finances? i don’t have a QB education recommendation but I have done this thing and I might be able to answer specific questions.

    2. Nonprofit CFO*

      Are there specific questions about NFP financial management? I’ve been a nonprofit finance director for 15 years and would be happy to help. As far as Quickbooks go… I don’t have any good recommendations, sorry!

    3. Garblesnark*

      QuickBooks is extremely gatekeep about information about their program.

      A competitor, Sage Peachtree, is the one I know better, partly because they will just explain things to you for free if you call and ask.

      If you’re stuck with QuickBooks and neither org has the subscription that will give you actual support on the software, I’d recommend buying a course on Coursera or Udemy. Be sure to check the course for how many hours it contains before you buy.

  159. silly little public health worker*

    knowledge request: finding remote work?? open to staying within my field (healthcare) and open to changing sectors.

    2. Garblesnark*

      Mostly commenting to share your frustration.

      Here are some things I’ve heard, but I haven’t been highly successful lately:

      – Your chances will be better with more specialized roles. Eg, jobs that require just a high school diploma and no experience, you’ll have a harder time differentiating yourself due to the sheer number of applicants

      – You may have better chances with hybrid roles in your area if you’re open to working from the office infrequently and be able to talk them down to one day in office per month or quarter

    3. Common Taters on the Ax*

      You might want to look at CROs (contract research organizations in pharma). Some have lots of remote workers to stay lean, to attract employees, and because the work is well-suited for it. (They don’t all, so don’t assume the jobs are remote. But check out their listings to see if they have open positions that are labeled remote.)

  160. Roy Donk*

    Knowledge request: I have been in my field for 20+ years and I know that I don’t want to be in it for the rest of my career. The problem is: I have no idea what I want to do instead. I’ve tried reading books, asking friends what they think I would be good at, even talking to a career coach, but I’m stuck. Have considered just taking jobs to see what I like but… being mid-career financially makes it hard to try an entry-level job. My favorite part of my jobs is organization (yesterday I very happily collated and prepared packets for an upcoming board meeting) and structure (love being able to follow a checklist). Any suggestions? Things to consider?

    1. April*

      I would start with listing what you love, like, and hate about your current work environment. Do you like working in an office surrounded by people? Traveling? Getting new challenges or staying with the same tasks everyday? Do you like learning new things? Who were your best and worst managers and co-workers, and why?

      Asking those questions helped me figure out that a role that is always customer facing would not be as good a fit as a role where I research and work with new vendors with less direct client interaction.

      I also recommend reaching out to local community college departments and see if there is a career path or program that fits your career goals. Good luck!

      2. Another PM*

        Related, when I was looking for a new career someone asked me what tasks I was doing in my current job that was not helpful for being promoted, no one asked for it, got in the way of my assigned deliverables, etc. So, things that I was so self-motivated to do that I would do them just because I liked them that much, and often when it was actively getting in the way of what I was supposed to be doing.

        For me, that was creating processes – I was frustrated at the inefficiencies of my office, so rather than doing my work I was asking everyone how they did it, writing up everything step by step, looking into what training would be available and scheduling it for everyone, etc – which is the basis of PMing, a career I didn’t even know existed at the time.

        Sounds like you might like PMing too!

        1. Roy Donk*

          This is super helpful, thank you. I have some things to research, it seems like! Part of my hesitation previously with PMing was that I had a pretty disastrous experience the only time I had a position that involved managing people. That experience actually led me down the path of intense therapy to work on my people-pleasing tendencies which I’ve been doing for a number of years now, so while it feels scary to think about managing people again, it may be more doable than I’m letting myself believe. Thank you again for your input!

    3. Common Taters on the Ax*

      Project management requires lots of organization. Whether you’d be suited for a position without starting at entry level probably depends on what your current field it, but if there’s something semi-adjacent that needs project managers and pays them appropriately, and you can get people to vouch for your level of organization, that might work out for you.

    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      What brands do you recommend for casual bike use? I’m riding around town or for a little exercise, not racing or mountain biking etc :D Feels like most the new bikes are wayyyy hardcore for what I need.

      1. Angstrom*

        The marketing can be confusing. Do you want a “city bike”, a “comfort bike”, or a “recreation bike”? It isn’t helpful for folks trying to get started.
        Most of the major brands do make decent simpler bikes for casual riding but they can be hard to find. Salespeople who are enthusiasts sometimes have a hard time understanding being happy with the simplest possible option.
        If there’s a local dealer you might look at Giant, and their associated Liv brand, which usually offers good value. Something like the Liv Alight might be fine for your use.

        1. DisneyChannelThis*

          Thanks! My first new bike long ago when I was 12 and first grew taller than my sister, was a Giant, neat that to see that brand name! And you are so right about the salespeople! They’re talking puncture proof tires, suspensions and all these things when I’m like I just want a bike lol

          1. Angstrom*

            I would stick with bike-store brands as opposed to big-box store brands. As with many products, the absolute cheapest version is usually not a good deal.
            Many cities have shops that refurbish used bikes for affordable transportation. That can be a good way to get rolling at a reasonable cost.

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        Have a look at Public Bikes and Linus bikes – they’re both very casual, lower end bikes but still plenty good for riding around town.

    2. ferrina*

      What do I need to do for general maintenance on my bike?

      I’d love to get into riding and I have a bike I like, but I think my wheels are flat and I might have the seat sitting too low? I’m also responsible for maintaining my kids’ bikes, and one of the bikes is super squeaky and hard to pedal.

      1. Angstrom*

        The very basics: Keep the tires pumped up, lubricate the chain, watch for anything obviously loose/rusty/worn, keep them out of the rain and snow.
        For tires, you need a pump that fits the valves on your bike. There are two commonly used — Schrader, like the ones on your car, and Presta, which has a metal stem. Some pumps will fit both.
        If your tire won’t inflate you may need a new tube. Tubes are inexpensive and easy to replace. To do it yourself you’ll need a couple of inexpensive bike tire irons to help remove the tire. Using a screwdriver can damage the tire or rim. You can also have a shop do it for you.
        Super squeaky and hard to pedal is probably a dry or rusty chain, which is very common when bikes are left outside. Lubricating the chain should help. If the wheels or cranks are noisy or hard to turn the bearings may be rusty. You could try oil but disassembly and regreasing might be needed.
        Brake pads wear with use and eventually need to be replaced.
        Seat height: You knee should be slightly bent at the bottom of the pedal stroke. If the seat is too high your hips will rock while you pedal which leads to more chafing. Many people adjust the seat so they can put one or both feet on the ground while sitting on the seat, but that’s almost always too low for best efficiency.
        Adjusting the fore & aft angle of the seat can make a big difference in comfort.

        1. Another Professional Bike Person*

          I will add, please bring your bike to a shop for a tune up/assessment at least once a year. this can help you learn about your bike and lifespan of the various brake pads, etc.

    3. TechWorker*

      Any tips on what to do when changing an inner tube is like… physically hard? I know the theory but the one time I had to change it when away from home a passerby offered me help getting the tire back on & saved me I reckon a good 20min. I changed it this week and just… couldn’t unseat the fucking tire to start. Feel like my grip strength is lacking (my excuse is I have tiny hands but like.. it makes me feel very incompetent as a cyclist! I rely on mostly cycling with other people with more competence…).

      Probably not helped by the fact my tires never seat correctly the first time :)

      1. Angstrom*

        First of all, make sure the tube/tire is completely empty. Just a few psi can make it very hard to unseat the bead.
        To unseat the tire, try grasping the top of the tire & rim with both hands, put your fingertips on the sidewall just above the rim, squeeze, and roll both hands back. That can be stronger than using just your thumbs.
        For remounting a tire, try to keep the part of the bead you’re not working on in the center of the rim where the diameter is the smallest. That effectively gives you more tire to work with.
        With the move to tubeless a lot of new tires have been getting tighter. Your bike shop might have advice on which tires are easier to work with. There are tools called “bead jacks” that give you more leverage to get a tire back on.
        Good tire levers help with dismounting and mounting. Pedros are my favorite.

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        Do you have a set of plastic tire irons? If not, get ’em. You can make do with one, but I prefer two (they usually come single or in sets of 3). Doing this with hand strength only is extremely hard and dependent on technique.

        Taking a tire off: put the tire iron between the rim and tire, scoop under the bead, and lever the whole thing outward. The bead will hop over the rim for a few inches with high tension. Most bike tire irons will have a little hook on the back end, hook it over the nearest spoke to keep that bit of tire popped out of the rim. Now take a second tire iron and slide it in to the gap next to the first one. Working slowly at first, use the second tire iron to pull the bead out over the top of the rim. This is really hard until you get maybe a third of the way around, and then there’s enough slack that the rest is fairly easy. Flip the wheel over and do the other side the same way.

        Now your tire and rim are still together, but instead of the tire sitting inside the rim, now your rim is inside the tire. You should be able to just pull the tire off, there’ll be enough wiggle room to separate them.

        To put the tire back on: step one is to reverse that last operation. Put the rim inside the tire, so that each tire bead is on the outside and the rim is inside with the tube. I like to have the tube slightly inflated at this point, I think it helps avoid pinch flats. This is a good time to make sure your tire tread is going the right way – there’s a small indicator arrow showing which way it’s made to spin, so figure out which way the wheel goes on your bike and make sure the arrow matches.

        Once you have everything loosely together, you’re going to take a tire iron and put it up between the tire and the rim. Hook the rim and lift the bead over the edge. Wedge a second tire iron in the gap next to the first, and shove them apart, lifting the bead over the edge. This one gets harder the further you go, but you’ll get there. Turn the wheel over and do the same thing on the other side.

        The smaller your tire diameter, the harder it is to take tires on and off. These days I can do some of these steps without a tire iron, but it’s definitely Flat Tire Hard Mode.

        1. Another Professional Bike Person*

          Please do not use tire levers during the second half of flat repair – that is, once you have gone through the trouble of putting a new or patched inner tube in and are on the home stretch. It is too easy to pinch the new tube and you’re back to square one. Especially if you are away from home! You must use your hands only to reinstall the tire.

    4. Careless Whisper*

      Is there anything to be done about a rusty bike? I left mine in the wrong spot in the carport for months, and it looks pretty bad now. I hate to toss anything functional, but I don’t like it looking so crummy so I’m about ready to donate it.

      1. Angstrom*

        Well, there’s rust that looks bad, and rust that causes problems.
        The chain is usually the worst. A rusty chain is noisy and adds a lot of resistance. You might be able to revive it with oil, and a new chain is not expensive.
        Rust on the frame, handlebars, seatpost, etc. is usually not a functional issue. You might be able to clean up some of it with an oily rag or kitchen scrubbing pad.
        Brakes, cables, shifters — lubricate and see how they function. New cables are not expensive.

  162. Lifelong Learner*

    Can I just put general commentary here — I absolutely love this. It warms my heart that total strangers are willing to share their knowledge and expertise with others absolutely free of charge. What a lovely thing to do for other humans and wonderful interactions between completely anonymous people. Thank you all!

  163. too many dogs*

    Compared to all the talent listed, this is pretty slim: I have lots of experience with storytimes for preschool ages, and have compiled an annotated list of great Picture Books to read with a group, or one-on-one that I would happily share. And I wouldn’t know a spreadsheet if it bit me.

      1. Diatryma*

        I’m a big fan of the Yolen/Teague How Do Dinosaurs series, and there’s Mo Willems’ Edwina, the Dinosaur Who Didn’t Know She Was Extinct. But I’m also trying to get more dinosaurs in my books these days just for myself.

      2. too many dogs*

        Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs by Byron Barton. Simple text, big bright pictures of dinosaurs. The Super Hungry Dinosaur by Martin Waddell. A little boy & his dog must outsmart a big hungry dinosaur. Helpful: ability to growl. Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs by Mo Willems. Great tongue-in-cheek version of the classic tale. How do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food by Jane Yolen. Silly rhyming book about dinosaurs & any bad eating habits they have. How do Dinosaur Go to Bed, by Jane Yolen. Another silly rhyming book about dinosaurs resisting bedtime. We Don’t Eat Our Classmates by Ryan Higgins. A cute little T-Rex (in rompers!) has trouble adjusting to school (because children are delicious). Hope this helps.

      3. too many dogs*

        Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs by Byron Barton. Simple text & big bright pictures of dinosaurs. The super Hungry Dinosaur by Martin Waddell. A little boy & his dog must outsmart a big hungry dinosaur. Helpful: ability to growl. Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs by Mo Willems. Great tongue-in-cheek version of the classic tale. How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? by Jane Yolen. Silly rhyming book about dinosaurs & bad eating habits. Not didactic or moralistic at all. How do Dinosaurs Go to Bed? by Jane Yolen. Another silly book about dinosaurs at bedtime. We Don’t eat our Classmates by Ryan Higgins. A cute little T-Rex (in rompers!) has trouble adjust to school (because children are delicious). Hope this helps.

      4. Diatryma*

        Matt Sewell’s Colorful Book of Dinosaurs (I had to look it up from when I bought it a couple years ago) got good reviews from a three-year-old of my acquaintance. Also good pictures.

    2. Anon for this*

      Love this! Do you have any recommendations for picture books that would work to read aloud for a mixed pair:
      – preschooler + 1st grader
      – preschooler + toddler (<2 yrs)
      Thank you!

    3. not applicable*

      I’ve got a little tyke who I adore that lives away from me that I would love to read to on occasion as he gets older! Are there any like web-based books or other interactive sort of things that I might be able to read to him over facetime calls?

    4. Diatryma*

      I sometimes feel like I have a solid handle on good books to read and recommend, and sometimes like if I know about something, everyone must, so there’s no point in yet another recommendation for the most popular books in the world. What are your less-known recs?

  164. JTP*

    I’m a graphic designer (print/digital/motion). I’m the go-to person on my team for InDesign — setting up a file for accessibility, setting up Styles, interactivity, data merges, etc.

    I would love a resource for coding an email for dark mode responsiveness.

    2. Lady Alys*

      Do you have any suggestions for learning InDesign, perhaps a YouTube channel, LinkedIn Learning course, etc – I have the whole suite on my computer, paid for by my employer, but it terrifies me.

      1. JTP*

        David Blatner has great (and very up-to-date) LinkedIn Learning courses. Once you get past the basics, Keith Gilbert has great tips and tricks for more advanced use of InDesign. He wrote a book called 100 Things Every InDesign User Should Know, and he writes scripts for InDesign (some of which are free).

  165. That Crazy Cat Lady*

    Not sure if this counts, my I am great at keeping my composure and not getting rattled, even if everyone around me is having a meltdown. My manager commented recently to me about how calm I always am no matter what is happening lol.

    3. That Crazy Cat Lady*

      There is one rule I stick to: No one else gets to control my energy or how I respond to anything. No one – not my boss, not my spouse, not my coworkers, etc. Even if the world is burning down, I and I alone decide how I choose to react and respond.

      So if, say, a coworker is coming to you and screaming that they’re trying to print a massive report for an important meeting that’s starting in five minutes and the printer isn’t working, their underlying message is I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO!

      Except…no. They don’t get to decide that. First, take a deep breath. We tend to hold our breath without realizing it when things are tense or anxious, and that keeps oxygen from going to the brain which makes it harder to think up solutions. Then, assess the situation from a clinical standpoint. What is causing the problem? What has already been done to fix it? What else can you do?

      Pretend you’re in a bubble, you can see everyone else but you have a protective layer around you that keeps you from being pulled into the swirl of emotions.

      All that said, this doesn’t mean that nothing is ever urgent to me, or that I can’t show some empathy when someone else is obviously struggling. A lot of the time, I place peacekeeper by saying things like, “It’s okay, we’ll figure this out.”

      It can just be helpful to take a magnifying glass to your own emotions and reactions. Am I REALLY feeling this way, or am I just feeling this way because I’m allowing someone else to dictate how I should be responding?

      Hope this helps!

  166. Garblesnark*

    Offer: I have a short attention span but a background in disability (at home and work!), human resources and onboarding, admin work/executive assistance, teaching, ESL, writing, and health insurance.

    Also if you know jobs I would be good at with that mix, suggest away.

    1. April*

      I think that a career in HR or IT, either for an insurance company or specializing in the medical field, would be great. Nonprofits generaly don’t pay as much as the private sector, but a disability rights organization, Make a Wish, etc., would be a good fit as well. Best of luck!

      2. ferrina*

        I was going to say a career in Talent Development could be a fit. That’s usually a subset of HR, and overlaps heavily with teaching. It can also have onboarding components mixed in.

    2. A Genuine Scientician*

      OK, weird question but I ask anyone who seems like they might know.

      I teach college science, and one of my learning objectives is “Student is able to extract information from a graph”, because it turns out many of our students struggle with this, and in general, students only get better at things when points are assigned to those.

      What can I put as alt text for a graph if I am trying to assess if students can extract the data from the graph?

        1. A Genuine Scientician*

          So, for example, let’s say I’m showing a graph of fish population over time. Let’s imagine that this is a bar chart with three bars at each time point, one for each of three different fish species, with different patterns in them so they’re accessible to the color blind too. Population sizes for each are plotted every 3 years for a 30 year interval. I might have questions like “Which fish species had the largest starting population?” or “Which fish species had the largest population growth in the interval SSSS to EEEE?”

          For the first of those, it seems like I can’t just write out a list of what each species’ population was at each time point, because we’re trying to see if the students can figure that out from the graph.

          1. Garblesnark*

            Ah, yes I see.

            First I will note that this is partly an audience question. I use image descriptions primarily due to neurodivergence personally. If you asked me this on a different forum, I’d include my blind and colorblind contacts in my response. (They happen to not be into blogs like this.) There are also professionals who do this for a living and specialize in setting these things up for blind and low vision people. Those aren’t my disabilities, so I don’t do much consultation there. Anyway! Disclaimers over.

            The first and last thing to check for is that your image description on something like this in my opinion is that it’s formatted in such a way, through punctuation, that it can actually be read by a screen reader. For example (and I have seen this), screen readers largely don’t call out when the text color changes on the screen. So if you’ve moved to a different plot point or bar, that needs to be denoted through punctuation or through formatting that you’ve checked is compatible through your students’ screen reader(s).

            I think a question I have for you is: would it be a fundamentally invalid or insufficient learning experience if a student took the graph, wrote out each of the plot points in a chart, and used the chart to answer the questions? If not, then providing essentially a chart (the plot points written out) to a blind student as an image description would, in my opinion, also not be fundamentally invalid.

            However, frankly, this seems like a tech problem. My blind friends largely use apps like Facebook by clicking around on the screen with the phone by their ear, and the phone reads them what it is that they clicked on. There must be a way to make a chart essentially tactile in a roughly parallel fashion, which is a much more comparable experience to what the sighted students are getting. I do not know what that way is, however, and it almost certainly involves a great deal more labor on the part of the educator than exporting graph contents to a chart.

          2. Nesprin*

            Easy:
            What was species A’s # at date
            Which species was more prevalent from date to date.

            Medium:
            Ask them to interpolate data- what would the likely values for species A at time in between sampling dates. How accurate is your data?
            Ask them to describe how variable the data is + interpret an R^2 value

            Hard:
            Extrapolate data, explain reasoning for why you used the model you did, and what confidence you have on that extrapolation.
            Generate hypotheses on why a given population would increase or decrease and describe a method to test.

      2. Dogwoodblossom*

        This is such an interesting question because (my work involves data visualization) a lot of graphs are really bad! If you told me somebody was having trouble understanding a graph my immediate assumption is that the graph needs to be redone, probably simplified, and tailored towards it’s intended audience better.

    3. emk*

      If you’re interested in government work, this sounds like great background for program manager or the like for some kind of disability-related program (Medicaid, Social Security, etc.) either state or fed!

  167. Twix*

    Industrial software engineer and applied mathematician here. Most of what I do is taking complex industrial design and manufacturing processes and turning them into mathematical models for use in things like simulation programs and custom CAD tools. Happy to field questions about software design, development, and logic, applied or theoretical math, or translating real-world systems into software.

  168. RagingADHD*

    Best practices / systems / training for managing a corporate library*? This is one of the duties I will need to take over within the next 2-3 years, and the current way of doing things is very out of date and just seems incredibly inefficient, overcomplicated, and error prone. I can’t introduce change yet, but I want to be well positioned to do so when I take the reins.

    *Corporate library = records of information presented to, and actions taken by, the Board and board-level committees of a public company in a highly regulated industry, as well as public filings and disclosures such as 10-K, 8-K, Form 4, etc. We have to respond to both annual and special exam requests by the regulators.

    Thanks!

    1. MossyMissus*

      I’d look into record management theory – it can get quite complicated but basically I’d start by working out what is actually coming in (types of record, frequency, origin) – this may well involve talking to the record creators (BTW they may not like doing this) – and then look at systems of organisation ie do you need a database? Spreadsheet? Do you need to number everything by origin? This will depend on the requests you get, but generally it’s advised to organise by creating body. It’s a *lot* of work to create a whole new system from scratch though so I hope your org appreciated you!

      1. RagingADHD*

        Our team also creates 90-95% of the records (which is why library management is just one aspect of the duties), but I appreciate the lead and will check it out!

        1. MossyMissus*

          OK, that does make it hard – but it also gives you more opportunities. If you manage to get people thinking about what will happen to their record after its useful period and the create it in a standardised format or save in a specific place at the moment of creation it will take a lot of work out later

  169. A Genuine Scientician*

    I’m an academic in a science field who has won awards both for teaching and for presenting my research. I’m happy to help with advice for setting up your presentation at the right level for your audience, tips to increase the amount of material they retain, ways to reduce tendency for the mind to wander, which common advice for presentations is just flat-out wrong, and just general speaking (I had some theater and vocal training as a kid that helped a lot) and/or PowerPoint tips.

    1. Anna*

      Do you like to create a lot of slides or just a few? Wordy or nah? Do you spend a lot of time on the aesthetic aspects of the presentation? What are your pptx best practices?

      1. A Genuine Scientician*

        In general: fewer words, more pictures. Large font when you do have words. You can absolutely say things that aren’t written there. Please do.

        If you’re presenting data to support a position, make the title of the slide the claim, and the content the data.

        Do not spend time reading an outline of your talk. By this, I mean you absolutely don’t want to have a slide that says “Presentation: 1 Outline, 2 Background, 3 First Example ….” that you then read at someone. It’s fine if you want to say something like “I’ll spend about the first 2/3 of the talk on X, and then talk about Y”, though.

        I tend to have more slides than it looks like I do if I’m not presenting on my own computer. There can be weird conversion issues with animations between different operating systems, so I rarely use them if I’m not going to be on my own device. Instead, I’ll make one slide that just has the axes and labels, then another one that adds some data, then another that adds a trend line, then another that adds the stats, etc.

        Picking a smaller number of things to go a little more deeply into tends to result in your audience retaining the information better than the inch deep mile wide approach. You can have more detailed stuff in bonus slides after your conclusions in case people ask about it.

        Bullet points should not be sentences next to dots. A fastest; B cheapest; C most accurate is a perfectly reasonable list of three items in bullet point format.

        Function over aesthetics. If you want to use something other than black text on a white background, that’s fine, but make sure a) your text is still readable on the far side of the room, and b) your background isn’t distracting. One good approach can be to put a solid color block around and behind any writing, so changes in color / pattern on the rest of the background don’t cause interference problems.

    2. Margaret Cavendish*

      I just asked this exact question to another award-winning public speaker above – I love that there are so many of you here!

      I want to submit a proposal to present at my industry conference in 2025. I’m quite used to presenting to people who aren’t interested in what I have to say – they’re in the room either because they’re required to be, or because they’re an executive or a board member getting a high-level overview. So I’m looking forward to having an audience who is listening to me on purpose!

      My question is about scale – how do I scale up from short overviews and specific how-to’s, and audiences with little background knowledge, to longer “here’s everything I know about rice sculpting, fellow rice sculptors!” I don’t want to go overboard – even the most committed audience probably isn’t interested in literally *everything* I might want to tell them. :)

      1. A Genuine Scientician*

        Great question.

        You’re right, you don’t want to cover everything you know. That would get unwieldy fast. So, the first thing to do is determine the scope of how much you want to cover. And to do that, you really need to consider how long of a talk you’ll have.

        In my field, lengths of presentations are pretty much:

        15 minutes: a standard conference talk
        30 minutes: part of a special symposium about a particular topic chosen by the organizers
        60 minutes: invited seminar where you’re the only one presenting to members of another organization.

        15 minutes really means 12-12.5 minutes of you talking, and then time for 1-3 short questions. 30 minutes means ~22-26 minutes talking, plus 5-10 questions. An hour means your presentation should be ~45 minutes without interruptions, and then some potentially fairly deep questions, maybe with some back-and-forth.

        After you’ve gotten some sense of the scope of what you can cover, you then want to start thinking in terms of narrative. We tend to remember things better when they’re stories. Remember that not all stories are fiction. But think through “Here is the main thing I want them to learn. What do I need to give them in terms of background so that they understand why it’s important, why this is something that wasn’t already obvious, and why someone should care?” I like the general framing of the hourglass structure. Start with a broad topic of something that people are likely to agree matters. Talk about this in some general term, spend a little time on what the field already knew and agreed on, then set up a big picture question or two. Then talk about what you’ve done to answer that in a particular case, how general the results are likely to be, and what caveats you have. And then tie this back to the bigger picture question, and what questions these new results lead you to next. Broad — narrowing — fine detail — expanding — general relevance.

      2. A Genuine Scientician*

        Also, this sounds weird, but: people like hearing a little bit of stuff they already know in the background.

        So, not my actual scientific field, but let’s pretend I’m going to give a talk about a new type of battery. Instead of just jumping in and talking how this new battery tech, I might start out with talking about how right now, we’re really good and generating energy BUT we need to get better at storing energy. Some of that is because we don’t always generate the power right when we need it, and some of it is that we need power even for things used in places they won’t be able to be plugged in. Current batteries use X materials, which have trade offs on how much power they can store, how many times they can be recharged, how heavy they are, and how toxic they are. For this one particular application, we’d be happy to get worse at A if we got better at B, so…

  170. mreasy*

    If anyone has any burning questions about music copyright or the music business in general, I’m all ears!

    1. No Mercy Percy*

      How does it work behind the scenes for copyright claims on Twitch and YouTube videos?

      1. mreasy*

        Great Q! There are a number of ways that people can discover uses of their music in videos on YouTube, Twitch, and other services. They’ll do it either via YouTube’s ContentID, or other third party tools/services. (ContentID is really focused on discovering uses of the specific recording they are delivered, so for artists whose music is covered regularly, another service is usually needed so that their publishers can monetize videos of cover versions. In some markets, especially Brazil & elsewhere in South America, a big new song will come out and immediately will be covered thousands of times, with the covers getting up to 50% as many views as the original, so it’s crucial to monetize covers in those markets.)

        If the YouTube tool finds the usage, they will automatically place a claim. If the claim is discovered by the owner or their agent, they will place a manual claim on the video using their YouTube CMS portal, which will include the song they’re claiming is involved, the timestamp of the usage, and other evidence. Several years ago, YouTube severely restricted the number of copyright holders who were able to have direct CMS access, because lots of completely frivolous and false copyright claims were being placed by users with that access.

        Since nowadays, most music companies have blanket licenses (for their entire catalogs) for both master (recording) & publishing (composition) sides for YouTube, Twitch, etc., a copyright claim will be placed, meaning the video owner has to monetize the video, ‘attach’ the song info, and share the video revenue with the copyright holder(s) for the song along the video platform’s usual policies for UGC (User-Generated Content) royalties, which incidentally are a lot less than for royalties for a video on the copyright owner’s own channel. If it’s a piece of music that isn’t licensed, the video owner will have to sign a license agreement with the music copyright owner(s) in order to avoid having the video taken down.

        After a number of copyright claims, a YouTube channel will be warned, and eventually may be decommissioned for a period of time. Usually a single copyright claim on the music will not get a video taken down, but if the company/artist is high enough profile, a single claim will elicit a takedown, with the content not restored until there is a license.

        Live performance videos are complex because while the song has a specific license owner, the recording itself doesn’t, given it’s usually recorded by the channel owner/video poster. That’s why you will often see live videos on YT, IG, TT, taken down, as they don’t have specific owners, and therefore the recordings don’t fall under existing blanket licenses with labels/distributors.

        Copyright owners can also issue takedowns for videos using their music for purposes they don’t approve of, such as politics, violence, drugs, etc. These are almost always listed as license exceptions in blanket agreements.

        ALL OF THAT SAID, video game music specifically is super complicated for this stuff! A lot of video game music companies don’t a) submit their music to ContentID and b) don’t sign up with many rights management organizations because different countries have different copyright laws and something like YouTube playthrough or Twitch game play videos or streams, once detected, will get takedowns issued by a copyright society even if the original copyright holder and/or artist don’t want that to happen. Because it is such bad publicity for the game company and the composer if a copyright strike or takedown occurs, especially on a popular YouTube or Twitch playthrough channel, game music companies will often avoid any license that may cause takedowns or copyright claims, even though that means they can lose significant revenue as a result.

        E.g., in the US, streaming earns both a mechanical and a public performance royalty for publishing (composition owners), with each earning half the song royalties per stream. Despite that, I had several game composer publishing clients with big streaming numbers who chose not to sign up with public performance societies due to the copyright claim/takedown issue, so they lost half their publishing royalties for streaming. (Worse, in some countries, one company handles both types of rights, so they had to exclude those countries entirely.) GEMA, the German society, legendarily used to go to video game conventions and give paper copyright violation notices to game companies who had gameplay videos running in their trade show kiosks, because they didn’t have public performance licenses for the music (playing music in a public space is considered a licensable “public performance”).

        Well, this has been very long. I hope it answered your Q! I also recommend checking out the info available from Songtrust and the Manatt law firm as they have great public resources on copyright.

      2. mreasy*

        Oh no my comment went into moderation due to being too long I think! I will do a tl;dr if it doesn’t show up soon. :)

    2. ArtsNerd*

      What’s the best way to handle royalties after a band (unincorporated) breaks up? Distrokid is still just sending it to my old bandmate’s account that we were using for the band. It’s pennies so I don’t particularly care but in an alternate universe where one of our old songs goes viral, I’m not sure how I would proceed.

      1. mreasy*

        IANAL of course!

        DistroKid isn’t responsible for establishing any rights picture or who is owed what – they will straight up just send to whoever they are told to send upon release setup. When you sign up for DistroKid, you agree that you have the rights to distribute the music you are sending them. Ultimately, you are each owed your agreed-upon percentage of what your money earns. If your music eventually starts earning “real money,” and your bandmate with the account won’t pay it out to you and your other bandmates, you will likely need litigation. It’s close enough to industry standard that bandmates share recording revenue evenly that in the absence of documentation to the contrary, that’s where things would be likely to land. If you wanted, you could probably more easily get the music taken down with a cease & desist, but then it won’t be available anywhere.

        If you and your bandmates co-wrote the songs, and you are not signed up with a PRO in your home country (in the US, ASCAP/BMI most often) with your songs and the agreed-upon songwriting splits registered, you could be in hot water if you did have a sudden viral moment. The first person who registers a composition is considered by default to have the correct share picture, so if your song started heating up, and one of your bandmates registers it with ASCAP and claims 100% of the song before the rest of you can, it will be incumbent upon you and any co-writers to prove your counterclaims (i.e. that you co-wrote the song and should get royalties). Usually the PRO wants a signed split sheet or other legal documentation, but emails or text exchanges can sometimes work, if no other documentation exists.

        I hope this helps!

        1. ArtsNerd*

          Thanks, yes! Fortunately, the accountholder is also a highly ethical person so I doubt things would get litigious to begin with, but it’s good to know in the vanishingly small chance that things happen this way.

    3. Hedgehug*

      I work in a church, we buy enough hymn books for the whole congregation, but we use powerpoint during the service and put the hymns on the screen (with the copyright under the title). Our understanding is that because we buy the hymn books, we don’t need a license to project the lyrics. True or false?

      1. mreasy*

        Hi! Love this question.

        This technically depends on if your purchase of the books includes any sort of agreement about public display/duplication. If not, you may technically be in violation, but your usage is extremely adherent to the spirit (no pub intended) of the copyright law, if not the letter. If somehow the publisher of one of the hymns found out and said something, you’d just be asked to stop the projection and use the books.

        However, the likelihood of that happening is basically zero. PROs (the folks who handle public performance royalties licensing and collection) are looking for actual violations that would have meaningful royalties attached, and they still can’t find a lot of them. (Maybe if you are talking about a megachurch with a controversial leader and the hymn composer finds out and is looking for something to start a fight about it? But I’m figuring you’d mention that.) Also the press for any copyright society who went after a church congregation for the most nothingburger “violation” (that truly isn’t really one) would be so bad that nobody would do it.

        tl;dr: I would extremely not worry about this!

  171. Garlic Microwaver*

    I’m a content strategist in healthcare. Small team, limited budget, politics at play- IYKYK. How does one stay sane, “connect” the dots between internal and external comms and manage/predict/analyize/write/create/interpret EVERYTHING? Also, what software do you use for an editorial calendar? I suck at excel and charting. Right now, it’s Google Sheets for us. Again, zero budget. I AM the content team.

    2. CoffeeCat*

      EVERYTHING is a bit outside my pay grade ;) For a calendar, gmail is a cheap (at most) option with solid calendar functionality.

    3. nonprofit marketing mgr*

      Hi, I’ve been where you are! It’s hard to give very specific advice but here’s the approach I’d suggest.

      Have an overall top-level comms strategy with specific goals, strategies, and tactics on a 2-year cycle. The concept of “minimum viable product” will be useful for you—figure out what the absolute minimum you need is, then build in layers from that. You want to minimize the amount of new content you have to create on a regular basis, so look for ways to repurpose content as part of your regular process, establish evergreen boilerplate/templates, and get comfortable telling people “That’s not a strategic priority right now” when they want you to jump on the latest microtrend.

      Re: politics at play, I’ve worked in academia and before any extremely visible change (because comms is very very visible!), I’d set up 1:1 meetings to “seek advice/input” from notoriously difficult faculty. Even though I rarely did exactly what they suggested, they were almost always mollified and felt heard/respected. Most importantly, either they didn’t challenge me at all in the big strategy presentations or I was able to anticipate the challenges and have diplomatic answers prepared.

      I know it’s tough when you’re in a firehose situation, but I swear that laying the groundwork will be worth it! And for what it’s worth, Google Sheets is fine as an editorial calendar. If you don’t already use data validation, checkboxes and preset drop-downs are a lifesaver.

  172. Dragonfly7*

    How do you match lip liner to lipstick or lip gloss, especially if they may not come from the same line or brand? My choices are limited by needing to be gluten free due to celiac, and while not a current lip product wearer, I’d like to try.

    1. Databases*

      Celiac here who is questioning my whole life- do I need to be worried about lip products???

      1. Dragonfly7*

        I was advised that lip products were the only makeup I needed to be careful of not containing gluten because it was the most likely to be accidentally ingested (I personally extend that to my foundation and face powder because that’s my personal comfort level). Your dietician or medical provider may have advised you differently. I’m not sure if it’s ever actually been studied; so many things haven’t!

        1. The Real Fran Fine*

          This was the same advice I was given, so most of my makeup and skincare products are gluten free.

          LYS Beauty, Lawless, Tower 28, and Dose of Colors have really nice gluten free lip liners btw.

        2. Databases*

          I got literally zero info with my DX. Just “stop eating gluten then.” I’ve cobbled things together from the internet

          1. Dragonfly7*

            I hate that this is such a normal experience for people with celiac disease. I’ve gotten a lot out of Taylor Silfverduk’s online celiac courses, but they can be expensive to pay for out of pocket.

    2. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think it depends on what kind of look you’re trying to achieve — I’ve never had any that matched perfectly, but I also put the lipstick overtop the liner for the most part, not inside it, and it’s never really been an issue.

      Can you do a liner that is close to your lip shade so that when you put on the gloss/lipstick, the colour difference doesn’t stand out? Some people also apply lipstick with a brush rather than directly from the tube, which gives you a lot more control when navigating the edges.

    3. RagingADHD*

      I rarely wear lip liner, but I was advised to match it to my lip, not to the lipstick / gloss.

    4. TechWorker*

      Think to some extent you gotta try it 1 maybe go to a department store where you can try a few options? I have a couple of lip liner/lipstick duos that I love& both of those the liner is a shade or two darker than the lipstick. I literally take 2 seconds putting them on & look like i made an effort :p

    5. hodie-hi*

      I’ve used a transparent lip liner with good results on the rare occasions I wear lipstick.

  173. No Mercy Percy*

    I’m an accountant who wants to change careers into programming or database management. I have a Software Development Certificate from a local community college. I know Python and SQL from the courses I took, as well as some HTML and CSS to a lesser degree. What’s the best way for me to approach this? Ideally I’d like to find a position that’s mostly or fully remote.

      1. No Mercy Percy*

        Not so much, but I’m working on building it. Currently I have a lot of ideas for Discord bots I want to make based on the Nextcord library for Python and I’m planning on adding them to my GitHub when I have them. Is there a better or additional way to have a portfolio than GitHub?

        1. TechWorker*

          Nah GitHub is good, but make sure it’s understandable in a standalone way, eg .readme or similar that explain what you’re trying to achieve. Having automated tests is a good sign too.

          One route in is to apply to roles within your current company, where you are already a known quantity with understanding of the business. Otherwise I do think it’s a bit of a tough market right now – lots of big tech companies are scaling back hiring and/or laying off, so I would lean into your current experience & apply for roles where that may be (at least tangentially) relevan

  174. Rebecca*

    I was an opiate addict for over a decade. I’ve been clean nearly as long. I have a lot of experience talking about these sensitive topics, and I think it’s really important to normalize our conversations about it.

    I can also help with resources for things like people that got out of jail and have no ID or paperwork. I still volunteer in the community and help folks in this way.

    1. Anon for this*

      My friend helps people move out of nursing homes into more independent living situations. A lot of these people struggle with addiction (often in addition to other issues). My observation is that many of his clients cycle through nursing home > independent living > hospital/rehab > repeat.
      My question for you is, do you think a professional in his position can make a difference without having personal experience with addiction?

    2. Little John*

      Any advice for good things I can say or do if someone close to me turns out to be struggling with addiction of whatever kind? This is hypothetical for me as of now, I’d just like to hear about what was actually helpful for you and what was counterproductive.

      1. Rebecca*

        I always focus on getting people to commit to medical detox and not “rehab”. Medical detox in a facility is required to be covered by any ACA compliant plan and by Medicaid. The facility will work with any benefits administrator to make sure you qualify for FMLA or short term disability if those are available to you.

        There’s a very real fear most people have about disrupting their lives. Asking someone to commit to rehab isn’t usually nearly as productive as asking someone to commit to 5-7 days of detox, where they’ll keep you comfortable. I tell people that it’s like a hotel with nurses.

      2. Pocket Mouse*

        No personal experience, but I work in a role related to harm reduction. It’s useful to have baseline knowledge that medications exist to manage cravings and withdrawal symptoms. This includes buprenorphine, naltrexone (can be used for both alcohol use disorder and opioid use disorder), and acamprosate in addition to methadone. Not that someone must use any of these, but they exist as options.

        Also, stigma doesn’t help, it hurts. The fact that you’re asking this question means you’re on the right track.

  175. JTP*

    Does anyone have a recommendation for remediating PDFs for accessibility **ON A MAC**? Seems like all programs I’ve found through Google are PC-based.

    1. Garblesnark*

      Really no intention of snark here, sometimes I have gotten answers to questions like these by calling apple. They built accessibility into their devices before Windows did and sometimes it’s just deep in the settings.

    4. What Words. I See No Words*

      My normal first step is to scream at whoever created the PDF from inside the privacy of your own head. Then it’ll depend on which aspect of it you’re trying to remediate. Am willing to try and answer questions or point to better resources. (Severely print-disabled screen-reader user.)

      As a rule of thumb, if you can convert it to a word document and get it back to plain text, it’ll help me a lot, but be prepared to have to check it manually because OCR is still imperfect. (I scanned two documents yesterday where it managed to turn ‘start’ into ‘stan’ that I had to use the app Be My Eyes to confirm I wasn’t imagining the problem. Different documents, different contexts, my software just decided to dislike ‘start’ for the day.)

  176. Databases*

    I’d love to connect with non technical people who work in highly technical organizations. How did figure out a viable career path? Are your options for growth limited?
    I love my (very large) org and want to stay here, but I am in an admin role that will hit a pay ceiling hard and soon. I guess I’m trying to figure out what the next step is. I am not opposed to going back to school, but I don’t think I can realistically catch up to be competitive on the directly technical side of things (fairly niche engineering). I enjoy spreadsheets, customer support, relationship building, writing, and working with technical folks (among other things).
    Looking for ideas, advice, solidarity I guess!

    1. abitahooey*

      Work for a tech company but I have limited tech knowledge. My closest coworker is the same. I’ve moved forward because while coding is my nemesis I am an excellent writer. So, tech people come to me with their amazing product they worked really hard on, and I help them explain it to our customers! My coworker manages a team of tech designers. While she’s not a tech expert she’s a great people manager and she’s built the team and made a niche for herself basically serving as our customer stand-in: she works with them to figure out various product and production shortcomings from our customer’s point of view, then they figure out how to fix it! Other non-tech people at my org work in finance, marketing, customer service, and sales. Basically, we all found ways to use our outsider perspective to work in our favor.

    2. EMP*

      I think you could go into something customer focused like sales and marketing, or possibly business development (though I’m not sure if that would require an MBA).

    3. mli0531*

      I might suggest Technical Writer or even Research Operations. Either would/could lean into your existing skills. Research Operations (ResOps) involves recruiting people to participate in research studies, while coordinating on schedules, payments, logistics, etc. As a researcher, having solid, knowledgeable people providing that support is amazing.

      1. Databases*

        I definitely feel like I am very scientifically/technically literate. I can quickly absorb and understand technical information, even if it’s not in my background area. I have a STEM adjacent degree that serves me well there!

    4. hodie-hi*

      Technical writing could be the answer. I am not a technical person. I don’t write code. I’ve been successful for more than 30 years. In my earliest years I worked office admin jobs. Similar qualities and skills are required to do good work in both roles.

    5. Onyx*

      There are lots of non-technical jobs at technical organizations! I’d argue that developers/engineering only make up about half the roles at a tech company. Some possible non-technical career opportunities I’ve seen include: Sales, Customer Success, Support, Finance, Marketing, HR, Recruiting, Learning & Development and more. I myself have spent the last 12 years in Marketing and Sales roles at tech companies. I was an English major in school and now I work on communications campaigns around COM APIs.

      Based on your skillset, I agree with others that technical writing might be a good avenue to explore. Technical writers are always in demand and I think there are certification courses you can do to build a portfolio. If you enjoy relationship building, customer success could also be a good avenue. Alternatively, you could look into product marketing or enablement.

      Since you like your current organization, I would recommend reaching out to folks whose roles/teams you are interested in exploring and do an informational interview. See if what they do is still of interest to you after the conversation and maybe offer to help them out on a project or two. They may be able to give you insight on if their team is hiring so you could apply for an internal transfer.

      1. Databases*

        So a lot of people are assuming I mean Tech, as in programming. That’s probably my bad! My company is an engineering company and I work on an aerospace/defense type government contract. So the vast majority of the employees are traditional engineers, not software engineers or other functions. I should have made that clearer!

    6. not applicable*

      I count myself as non-technical despite having attained a comp sci undergrad degree because my heart has always remained with my English minor lol. I am currently a pseudo-project manager of sorts and a subsystem engineer, as well as a technical team lead.

      1. The way I got here was just by involving myself in a bunch of different things and asking the “dumb” questions. Your skills in relationship building, working with technical folks, and even the admin side of things can be extremely helpful in leading some of these people; I’d start there! Eventually as you involve yourself in things and do your best to learn quickly, you won’t ever have to touch the technical things because you’ll build yourself a network of people who love those things that you can go to.

      2. My options have since grown actually! So being a non-technical person isn’t so bad; what I’ve found is that to become one the bar is exceedingly low. If you have some semblance of common sense, then you can make it really far.

      Best of luck!

      2. From here

    7. Common Taters on the Ax*

      What about proposal writing? That sounds like something that would use all of the skills you name. Other kinds of technical writing might be too lonely for someone who likes relationship building, but coordinating complex technical proposals requires lots teamwork.

      1. Databases*

        That’s a path I’ve been looking into! It seems super super variable in terms of earning potential and quality of life. But I do think it is something I could enjoy/be good at.

  177. H.Regalis*

    How to do technical interviews for IT/software development.

    I got hired entry-level doing software development for some niche software, and they trained me up, but I have zero educational background in comp sci, and I don’t know how to do technical interviews.

    When I’ve looked at sample questions, they’re all very pop-quizzy, rote memorization to me. I can code XYZ thing, but I can’t rattle off the exact steps in order to create a [whatever].

    1. Schmitt*

      This is going to depend so much on exactly what you’re looking for in your candidates and how your process in general is set up.

      One thing I’ve done is logical debugging in real-time. I had a piece of code with a glaring error in a for-loop that led to infinite looping (as well as a few other things wrong) and asked the candidate to evaluate it. This let me see how the candidate approached the process and was able to communicate about it.

      Another question I like to ask is “what is your favorite new feature in the latest version of (the language we’re hiring for)?” This tells me if the person has kept up to date and also shows me what they value in how they write code.

    2. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

      You just need to do the memorization. They’re stupid – nobody in real life codes their own search algorithm – but it’s become the way things are done. If you can talk through your thought process for figuring stuff out, that’s what they’re actually looking for once you get past entry level.

    3. EMP*

      it’s very pop quizzy, even sometimes at senior level positions (this is bad, in my personal opinion). I have no experience with IT which I think is a different set of skills, but I’m a senior level software engineer who’s been on many hiring teams and recently on the interviewee side of things. If you have any specific questions I can try to answer!
      For self learning, MIT and Harvard both have their python based intro CS classes online (both on EdX, I think) and I would recommend either to learn generic programming skills plus some of the “how to think about software” skills that interviewers will be looking for. Entry level jobs IME focus more on the basics of “how do you write a whatever” and less on big picture design/thinking and you can use practice problems for that.

    1. Iris Eyes*

      How to make employee ownership feel like a reality instead of just a buzz word? Yeah there is the twice yearly distribution/update but its not exactly a mindblowing amount (mid level corperate person with 6+ years and still well under 5 figures in value)

  179. Goth Manager Lady*

    I’m an IT Operations Leader and happy to answer any questions about service, ops, security, infra positions/work, and more!

    1. No Mercy Percy*

      Best way for an accountant to change careers into IT, specifically Python development or SQL DBM? I have a Bachelor’s in Accounting and recently got a Software Development Certificate from a local community college. I learned Python, SQL, some HTML and CSS. Also really good with Excel formulas.

      1. Goth Manager Lady*

        I haven’t had anyone in my network make this specific career change. I would ensure your resume is written to highlight your IT skills and any skills that are transferable from Accounting (of which there are many) and see if anyone in your network has entry-level opportunities in the area you’re interested in. Look at LinkedIn profiles of people who hold the position you’re interested in and build your skill set from theirs.

  180. Database Developer Dude*

    My primary job is as a database administrator/engineer. I specialize in Microsoft SQL Server. Happy to answer questions.

    My secondary job is as a data operations warrant officer in the Army Reserve (CW4). Happy to answer questions.

    I’m also a 3rd degree black belt in Olympic Style (Kukkiwon) Taekwondo. Very happy to answer questions.

    I’m also a Freemason under the jurisdiction of the Grand Lodge of the District of Columbia. I will answer questions I can, and tell you when I can’t.

    1. No Mercy Percy*

      Best way for an accountant to change careers into DBM? I have a Bachelor’s in Accounting and recently got a Software Development Certificate from a local community college. I know SQL, Python, Excel, and some Access.

      1. Database Developer Dude*

        Start off with some volunteer work you can put on your resume, and look for entry-level database positions

    2. ferrina*

      How old is too old to start Taekwondo?
      Also, do Taekwondo schools find it annoying when a student starts and stops in spurts? Do you lose your belt if you stop going?

      I’d love to try it out, but 1) I’m old and 2) my schedule is sporadic.

      1. Database Developer Dude*

        You’re never too old to start. I didn’t start until I was already 40. If you’d told me back then I’d be a 56 year old 3rd degree black belt, I’d have laughed you out of existence…..but here I am!

        Taekwondo schools are just happy to have the students. Do what you can. Having said that, until you’ve earned 1st degree black, if you stop going, when you start again, what ever school you start with will likely test you to see what belt they want to start you at.

        Your sporadic schedule is not a show stopper, you can attend class when you can. How old are you?

  181. Library Lady*

    I have worked in public libraries for over 10 years (AMA!) but I’m also a certified US passport agent at my library and have processed hundreds of applications. Happy to answer any passport-related questions, although I am not able to answer questions about visas.

      1. Library Lady*

        Surprisingly straightforward! The library was already a designated passport agency when I started working there, so I didn’t have to deal with that part of the process. But in terms of becoming a certified agent, there was some straightforward paperwork, an asynchronous online training module that took about 5-6 hours total to complete, and a multiple choice “final exam” at the end of the training module that I had to get 90% on in order to pass. And then every year our passport agents have to do recertification training, which is basically a shortened version of the initial training, so it’s much less time consuming.

  182. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

    I left K-12 teaching for a corporate job (training) and have been successful and thriving in that space for over a decade. If you want to leave teaching, HMU.

    1. BellyButton*

      I was a corporate trainer for many years. I tell all my teacher friends who are frustrated, overworked, and underpaid to move into instructional design, curriculum development and corporate training.

      1. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

        Other less-obvious but great career changes that I have seen: project management, product management, accounting/payroll, human resources, technical writing/documentation. Some of those require additional certificates or degrees, but I’ve known former teachers who shifted into all of those roles and thrived.

    2. Peanut Hamper*

      Are there any certifications that are handy to have, or helpful in the job search, and how do you get them?

      Any job boards that are specifically tailored to corporate training/instructional design?

      1. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

        If you are a teacher moving into a trainer/facilitator role, you definitely already have the chops to do the role. If you really really want to get a certification, get certified as an online or virtual instructor, or even just take a few Lynda.com courses, because those skill will serve you well.

        If you are wanting to become an instructional designer, a crash course in an authoring tool like Adobe Captivate and/or Articulate 360 (including Storyline), and editing/production tools like Camtasia, Photoshop, anything else in the Adobe creative suite, will serve you well. But usually, it is more important for the hiring committee to see what you are able to do, not point to a certificate, or for you to be able to share actual skills you have (like, “I’ve built lots of courses in Storyline with branching scenarios, triggers, and quizzing”.)

        There will be a lot of people out there (especially on LinkedIn) trying to sell you a very expensive ID bootcamp series. Those are fine, you’ll learn good stuff, but they are very expensive and you can learn a lot of things by just taking tutorials online. If you want to go for a certification, either go through ATD, or get one from an actual college or university. It will serve you better in the long run.

        I’ve mentored designers who are moving from teaching to design before, and by and large we (teachers and former teachers) are obsessed with certifications. They’re just not as necessary in the professional world. Show what you can do, and you’ll be good.

        1. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

          And to reply to your second part, I have found that LinkedIn has the best job postings for trainers and designers. If you want to go into instructional design for higher ed/academia, try HigherEdJobs.

  183. Kate G*

    I have experience with all types of client management systems and excellent client services skills across the globe. I also can read palms.

    1. Sumac and cedar*

      Here for palm reading stories. What predictions came true? What dark secrets have you revealed? Or you know, any other anecdotes you’d care to share

  184. William Murdoch's Homburg*

    Microbial/Chemical Technologist with excellent followup skills here – need a deliverable from another department in a timely fashion? I’m on it. Ask away!

    2. Karma is My Boyfriend*

      How do I get another department with a prickly leader to respond to my inquiries in a timely manner? Additionally, tips for following up with my boss? I have to ask them contract questions or to route things and sometimes…I just don’t hear back on these questions.

  185. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

    Hello! How do I deal with micromanaging coming from a non-manager? (In my case I’m a data scientist and he’s a product manager, but he keeps telling me exactly what to do rather than what questions he wants answered or what final product he needs.) Due to my company’s structure we don’t share a reporting chain at all.

    1. BellyButton*

      Ask him “what is the outcome you are wanting?” “what problem are you trying to solve?” I would also tell him that part of your job is to challenge him to think differently and that you need to be allowed to question and come up with the right way to execute to reach the outcome.

    2. Nesprin*

      People who are bad at specifying things are often good at correcting if you guess specifications wrong. Give them a chance to tell you how you’re wrong.

      “Ok, let me see if I understand correctly, you’re asking me to do A, B, and C by Date. Your ultimate goal for this work is (make something up if he doesn’t give you much) and you care most about (make something up as well), and these things don’t matter as much (make something up). Is that right? Did I have your priorities right? Anything else I should think about?”

    3. Anecdata*

      I am in a similar role where I need to get people to tell me what they are trying to accomplish, and let me tell them how I’m going to do it (a user researcher, working with PMs and designers) and some of the lines I use are:

      “Help me understand what decision you’re trying to make with [results of micromanaged task they want me to]…”

      “Imagine that we did that and the results are XYZ. What would you do next? would you be able to (move the project forward), or would you need more research on before XYZ could happen?”

      “What outcome would you need to see from (XYZ specific question they’re asking for) in order to feel comfortable launching the product/making XYZ change?”

  186. BellyButton*

    This is awesome! I love reading what people are good at. My job is organizational and people development. I think I am really good at helping people develop their skills/knowledge in whatever area they need to be successful today and what they will need to be successful in the future career path. I think I have the best job in the world- my entire job is helping individuals, teams, and the company be successful. My success is defined by their success.

    Here are a few things I love the most
    Talent reviews- using 9Box that defines past performance and potential performance
    Succession planning- identifying gaps, identifying people who are ready for advancement and finding a place for them to grow
    Corporate strategy and what skills/knowledge/expertise we will need to reach successfully execute this strategy
    Leadership development- Every quarter I have cohorts- individual contributors who have been identified as future leaders, first time managers, experienced managers (managers of managers). They have assigned AI learning (Skillgym) and then we meet monthly to discuss how that learning plays out in real life, and for them to practice peer to peer coaching. I facilitate the discussions, but don’t offer much of my expertise- I let them coach each other. Peer to peer coaching has been researched and the results say that it is the best way to learn and grow in a professional environment.

    Ask me anything!

      1. BellyButton*

        I didn’t know this job existed when I was on college and grad school. I worked in radio/tv for a while and hated it and then I took a corporate training job for medical management software. I loved teaching, so from there I started getting certified from ATD in training, instructional design, curriculum development, and coaching.

  187. William Murdoch's Homburg*

    Microbial/Chemical Technologist with excellent followup skills – need a deliverable from another department in a timely fashion? I’m on it. Ask away!

  188. Anna*

    I’m a midcareer public library paraprofessional who changed careers (several times) to get here. I’m currently in library school. I’m happy to answer questions from people thinking about working in libraries or going to library school.

    My general advice: apply for EVERYTHING. If you’re remotely interested, don’t miss opportunities to apply for scholarships, grants, conferences, presentations, papers, reviews, etc. Libraries are full of people who just want to get by – which is totally fine! But that means there are opportunities and money out there for the taking for the people who want to go after them. I don’t think I’m all that special, but my MLIS is costing me $0 thanks to all the stuff I’ve applied for. Honestly wouldn’t recommend getting an MLIS unless you can get a good chunk of aid.

    I’m also seeking advice on transitioning from public libraries to academic libraries (preferably R1). By the time I graduate, I’ll have (or already have) coding & data analysis skills, university administrative experience, teaching experience, and an academic library internship (in addition to my public library experience). People always say it’s a really difficult transition because you can’t get an academic library job without having had one already. Also, I don’t have a Master’s or a deep well of subject area knowledge. I’m nervous! Is there anything I can do to be better prepared when I begin my job search? Also, I really want to avoid working in a toxic environment. Any tips on red flags to look out for? Feel free to name specific schools! :)

    1. MossyMissus*

      I got some great voluntary experience from libraries of learned societies (eg botanical societies, astronomy societies). I didn’t actually go into academic libraries but I learned a ton about specialist topics that way and actually it was pretty quick to pick up subject knowledge as long as you’re interested in the topic. It does suck that it isn’t paid though :(

  189. California Dreamin'*

    I’m a court reporter who works exclusively in the deposition setting. Because I’m in them almost every workday, I’ve participated in more (and more varied) depos than most attorneys have. Litigants and third-party witnesses are often very nervous about the prospect of having their deposition taken. I can answer questions about how they work, what to expect (not the legal part but just what the process is like.) Also general interest questions on how we court reporters do our very niche job, something that I frequently get asked about out in the field.

    1. BellyButton*

      How is AI and software that captures meetings changing your job? Are you thinking about how to do your job differently with the technology changes? How do you keep your skills current? Does your employer give you opportunities to learn?

      1. California Dreamin'*

        We believe that we are the gold standard in terms of capturing a verbatim record. We are able to ensure that we get every word, to make sure nothing is lost to a mumble or a heavy accent or multiple people speaking over each other, and to prepare a transcript that doesn’t have any “inaudible” designations. So far, technology has not been able to replace us, but of course that’s always a concern for the future!
        Those of us that work in the deposition world typically don’t have an employer. We are freelancers who work with court reporting agencies to schedule jobs. But our professional organizations, both national and state, provide a lot of opportunities for continuing education. Most of my learning is done on the job! I do a lot of online searching for technical terminology that come up in depos that I’m not familiar with.

    2. Sapientia*

      Do you use shorthand by handwriting or do you use those typewriter-like machines? How to these machines work? What are your best tips for learning how to use shorthand and learning how to record a meeting?

      1. California Dreamin'*

        We use the typewriter-like machines you’re thinking of. They’re called steno machines, or “writers” in everyday parlance. I tell people it’s more like playing the piano than typing because you press multiple keys at once like chords. Each chord, or “stroke,” can represent a syllable, a whole word, or an entire phrase. For example, I can write “sat” by stroking SAT all at once, or I can write “Have you ever had your deposition taken before” by stroking TK*EPGS all together (we use our own what we call “briefs” to easily write phrases like “Do you remember” and “after the accident” that we hear all the time.) Not every letter of the alphabet has a key on the writer, so some combinations of keys represent other letters (TK represents the D sound.) As you can see, it’s like learning a foreign language to fluency. It takes several years of professional schooling to learn and to build up the necessary speed. In California we are certified at 200wpm and routinely write faster than that in bursts.
        I think the handwritten shorthand that secretaries used to use to take dictation is more what you’re thinking about for recording meetings. That’s like another language, too… I think it’s called Gregg or something like that? I don’t know how easy that is to learn.
        Generally people think we’re just kind of typing really fast, but it’s really a much more complex skill than folks imagine!

  190. Kiki Is The Most*

    As an American expat who has lived in 5 different countries in 4 continents, I’m your cheerleader to take that leap to take that exciting gig overseas and can answer ‘just’ about anything regarding life abroad! (It’s the best. Just sayin.)

    1. BellyButton*

      Yes! Me too! I lived in 4 countries, became a Canadian citizen before moving back to the US. It might have been hard, but it gave me an unmeasurable amount of experience and exposure to different cultures and people and really drove my success.

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        Oh yea! It’s challenging, exciting, frustrating, and amazing all in one! I’ve lived in my current country for 7 years and now moving again this summer to the other side of the planet. It’s overwhelming at times, too.

    2. Anon Trainer*

      How did you find jobs overseas? I’m always surprised when you see people say “I’m just going to move to X” because they think it’s easy to move to another country without any kind of work visa lined up, etc.

      Are there lots of companies just willing to hire foreign talent? Do you always need to be sponsored? Were you going places that let you work for up to X years before needing to move on? I don’t know how one even gets started with this sort of thing unless they’re working for an international agency of some kind (e.g. the UN) or they’re getting a transfer from one office to another in a multinational corporation.

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        I was an international teacher, so yes, that helps when it comes to finding a job, though the schools are not connected (the majority are separate entities). However, in my travels I have met everyone from the digital nomad, to working for Amazon (I know Americans and Brits that hold these positions in Europe currently), to working for an American and/or international company. It does depend on your sector but I have friends that took up transfers from the US and I have a pal that winged it and applied to an international gig from the US and got it. I do not live in a city with a US embassy currently. While having another language can help, it is NOT necessary. If it’s something that one is interested in, then it would take a bit of research on their part regarding the work they are in (I’m soooo not an expert on the ins/outs of all expat gigs!) There definitely are international companies willing to hire foreign talent.

    3. Tiny clay insects*

      How difficult were the logistics of moving? And did you move with a job lined up that was sponsoring your visa or whatever, or do it a different way?

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        When I first left the US (a grazillion years ago), I sold my car, rented my home, and moved to the Middle East. With 10 suitcases. I’ve learned my lesson and I move much much lighter these days but I do have to send a shipment to my upcoming job. I’m not attached to too many things but still will wait 3-5 months for my kitchenware to arrive!

        And yes, the job sponsors my visa. Having the job first makes things MUCH easier, as you often have an HR person that can help a little bit with things, though not always. My move to Europe was essentially on my own and I had to figure out the visa process/paperwork with very little help from HR.

        Once you become part of the expat/global community you meet lots of people, make contacts, and things become easier as you settle in.

    4. Irish Teacher.*

      What were the biggest culture shocks you experienced in other countries?

      Did living abroad change your views on anything in your own country?

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        Living in the Middle East is NOT was American media says it is. (It’s actually quite a bit better than people might think).
        Every country has it’s own challenges.
        Getting internet in another country is like talking to Time Warner in the US.
        Or anything with any government paperwork. Bureaucracy is the same everywhere.
        Being open and friendly will actually get you pretty far in most countries. Learning just a bit of their language is a big deal to locals.
        My paycheck may be smaller than what I would make in the US but my money and quality of life is definitely better.

        I’m originally from the US and I do NOT hate America. However, it’s difficult to watch how brazen and judgmental some Americans can be (via the internet of course), and how that has set the tone for how we are perceived in so much of the world. It’s a shame.

    5. Em from CT*

      I’m someone whose career is focussed predominately on research & writing: right now, for example, I research and write reports on government policy questions.

      I’d love to work and live abroad, specifically in Scandinavia, but have had a hard time finding roles for what is pretty much a “I’m an expert in your second language” field. Any advice for someone looking for such a general role?

      (Alternately, I could look for roles in email marketing, which is more of a niche field I have expertise in, but it’d be a pivot and not something I want to do long-term. Did you have to make that kind of deliberate choice to take a job abroad, or were you able to follow your career plan? Does that make sense?)

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        Em, I DID make a deliberate choice to move internationally, and then I went about figuring out how to do that. I had always thought that teaching overseas meant teaching english as a second language. While that is an option for some, that is not what I was looking for, as I teach secondary maths. The legwork was all me in figuring out if I could live (financially) in another country in my career. I also reached out to those people (strangers!) to ask a couple questions so that I find better resources.
        Apologies that I don’t know exactly what to research for your field. However, I do believe that searching out those companies in your preferred region would be worth the look.

        Often I think we can be scared of what ‘could’ happen until we actually give it a go. I’ve had plenty of those doubts myself but once I just started then the work has been worth it in happiness.

    6. anon_sighing*

      How was paying taxes, both to the local country (I guess picking the trickiest example) and to the USA?

      This is always my biggest worry if I work abroad for anything that isn’t just the US federal government.

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        If you live outside of the US for 335+ days, do not pull income from a job in the US and earn under a certain amount of money (I apologize I don’t know exactly what that is), then you do not pay taxes in the US. I DO file every year, and I pay taxes in my country of residence. There is also reciprocity with certain countries in regards to social security/retirement.

        I used to own property in the US, and currently I do not. I am only required to file federal taxes and I have a CPA do this to make sure I follow the tax laws.

        I have lived in countries where my job has subsided the tax payment and I didn’t have to pay taxes there either. It’s wild what kind of benefits you can get in different countries.

    7. ferrina*

      How did people back in your home country support you when you moved? What was most helpful?

      I have a family member moving overseas soon, and I’m not sure what I can do to be the best support I can!

      1. Kiki Is The Most*

        Aw that’s so lovely! How exciting for your family member, too! They may have transition days of being overwhelmed, especially while settling in. Things I appreciated were receiving real letters/postcards, check-in text messages and in general, friends sending me photos of regular life stuff/memes, etc as they normally would. I’m not on social media, so I still love feeling included even though I’m far away.

        If you decide to send a ‘care’ package, I would not send health/beauty items unless you check the countries import tax regulations. It’s a crazy hassle. But a favorite magazine, card game, photo printed out, or something that won’t spoil is incredibly generous (because shipping overseas from the US is $$$).

        And I love planning out the next visit with friends/family. If that is something you are able to do, then it’s a huge comfort to know that someone will be coming for a visit in 6 months.

  191. Car park*

    I would love tips on classrooom management with 1st to 3rd graders especially. I do after school classes in robotics so there is a lot of working in teams and hands on activities and it’s often loud and crazy, and I’m pretty sure I’m not as effective as I could be at controlling the chaos.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      I am no expert in this but I learned a couple of things from a summer camp I volunteer for:

      1. Set up a call and response for when the whole room needs to settle down and listen to you. Something like, you shout: “We love”, kids reply “robots!” Ideally it will be sillier than that but you get the idea. Having the youth respond was more effective than just an “eyes on me” thing in my experience.

      2. If a group or student is struggling to focus, you can offer something like: “if you give me three more minutes on task, we can take a 5 minute break after.” And set a timer.

      3. Write out a basic agenda for the day’s class, including how much time you want to spend on each section and when/how long the breaks are. Set timers.

    2. Databases*

      I found Love and Logic to be very very effective when I was in a 1st-3rd classroom. You can find a lot of the materials online!

    3. Yoli*

      A couple tips:

      1) When you give directions, keep them as concise and consistent (use the same words for the same types of tasks) as possible. Also chunk them and give a short time limit for the transitional directions, e.g., “When I say go you have 10 seconds to walk to your group table. When I get to 0 I need everyone silent so I can explain how to use the XYZ.” A common mistake I see is teachers spending so much time on the transitions that kids (especially younger ones) lose their stamina for listening to the actual directions for engaging in the activities.

      2) Use visuals. For something that happens every day, like cleanup, you can put it on a poster with pictures.

      3) Assign group leaders/captains. That person is responsible for keeping the entire group on track, making sure materials are handled appropriately, etc. Rotate the responsibility so everyone gets a turn (depending on how frequent the club meets you could rotate every week or every couple days), and give them some kind of sticker (that age group loves stickers), badge, paper hat, etc. so that when the whole group is off-task you can address the captain to help fix it. Note: You have to teach kids explicitly how to correct each other kindly using either silent signals or “Hey can you please…?”.

      4) Use a bell, chime, or timer to signal when time’s up. Simple but effective.

      5) Don’t give out materials until after giving directions/right before kids are going to use them. That might look like pre-organizing them in gallon bags and giving out one per group (to the captain, who can also be responsible for making sure everything is collected and returned at the end), or, if you have large materials, having them pre-set up on tables and giving directions to kids on the rug. If you could only change one thing tomorrow, this is what I’d recommend–once kids have hands on the materials, they’re no longer listening. For giving mid-activity directions use an attention getter that requires choral response and/or motion (e.g., “if you can hear me, clap once”, “Classity-class? Yessity-yes”) and make sure kids put the materials down and look at you before you start speaking. If you Google “attention getter” you’ll find a common ones, or you can ask the students which are used in their classes and use those.

  192. Frankie D.*

    I have been commuting by bike for 7 years! Ask me about safety, sharing the road, how to not show up to the office as a sweaty mess, all-weather gear, the benefits of cycling for your health, the environment, etc.

    1. Little John*

      Please lay all your wisdom on me about how to not show up to the office as a sweaty mess! I want to be able to enjoy riding fairly strenuously in my bike gear, but then change and appear in a professional environment in business-casual women’s clothing. Please assume I have access to a very basic public restroom where I’d need to change in a stall (so, no shower or sink-sponge-bath option). I don’t mind going from bike to office without a shower, but I would like to avoid being clammy to the touch at work or smelling bad to my co-workers.

      2. TechWorker*

        Honestly I don’t think you can? I commuted for a while by bike with only a restroom to change in, but it was large enough I could spray deodorant and wash a little if absolutely necessary. If you can’t wash AT ALL you could find a route with minimal hills, accept you won’t be cycling all out & plan your commute accordingly and/or plan your bike around it! An electric bike or a city bike with low gearing will allow you to sweat less. Have a backup plan for particularly rainy or hot days. Basically imagine you have a 45min walk or whatever, & plan similarly. (Compared to when you can shower & it’s a bit more comparable to a run :))

    2. Hlao-roo*

      Do you change from biking clothes to office clothes? If so:

      – how do you store your office clothes so they don’t wrinkle during your bike commute?

      – how do you store your bike clothes in the office? (I worry that my bike clothes would be smelly and uncomfortable to change back into at the end of the day, but your not-showing-up-as-a-sweaty-mess tips might make this a non-problem)

      1. Frankie D.*

        For not showing up a sweaty mess:
        1) I can’t emphasize the power of disposable baby wipes enough! They make them in all kinds of scents (so you don’t have to smell like a baby) and even some unscented as well I believe.
        2) This one is hard to avoid, especially riding in the stress of traffic, but it doesn’t have to be a race. Give yourself 5 extra minutes to get to the office and ride at a more leisurely pace. Also, moisture-wicking fabrics are a must for summertime.
        3) invest in a good rear rack/pannier set up so you don’t have to rely on a backpack.
        4) When changing in a stall/communal bathroom, I usually put deodorant on in the stall and then do any makeup/hair brushing at the communal sinks/mirrors – I have never had a coworker seem weirded out by this, I think it’s common enough practice to touch up one’s appearance in the office bathrooms.

        For storing office clothes, I try to buy materials that don’t wrinkle too much when packed in a pannier bag. If you have the option to leave work clothes at the office that are bulky or wrinkle easily (blazers, I’m looking at you), that’s also a great option. I also leave a set of dress shoes under my desk so I don’t have to transport those by bike as often.

        For storing bike clothes – this one is tricky because I work at a desk in an open office. For the really hot days, I often bring two sets of bike clothes. If you have an office where you can hang out your clothes during the day (or at least for a period of the day), that’s the ideal setup.

        Lastly, I try to normalize biking as a form of transportation as much as I can. If someone is confused or even in awe of my choice to ride my bike, I emphasize that it’s normal for me. At the end of the day, biking to work is just as valid an option as taking the bus or driving yourself in an expensive steel box!

        1. Hlao-roo*

          Thank you! I can take my work clothes in my pannier on a weekend ride to test out how much they wrinkle. Leaving my work shoes in the office and bringing two sets of bike clothes are both great ideas.

    3. Mad Harry Crewe*

      I bike commuted for most of twenty years, then stopped when we went remote in 2020. I still ride, but much less frequently. Am I crazy for thinking that the cars are dramatically taller than they were four years ago? I hate how much less visibility I have.

  193. Minimal Pear*

    I know a good bit about mending clothing–if you have a specific problem, I may be able to suggest the best method to fix it!

      1. Minimal Pear*

        If it’s something like a sweater, with bigger yarn, I would try finding a close match to the yarn. If the pull/run is small, you could do just a bit of sewing to pull things back together. If it’s larger, I would darn it.
        If it’s a stretchy knit fabric, I have to admit, those can be a pain. I might try some sort of patch, preferably of a fabric with similar stretch, sewn on with zigzag stitching. It would be visible, so I’d try to make it look intentionally decorative.
        I might also embroider over it, by getting sticky-backed wash-away stabilizer, sticking it to the part of the clothing in question so it doesn’t deform from the embroidery pulling, put a hoop on, and embroider. Then the stabilizer should wash out. This might still pull on the fabric, depending on how sturdy it is.

        1. Minimal Pear*

          You might still be able to darn it if it’s a stretchy knit fabric, but I always feel like I do a terrible job when I try that!

    2. JP*

      How do you handle pilling on clothing? I see so many gadgets, but I don’t know if they’re worth it, I tried to use a razor once and ended up slicing the fabric.

      1. Minimal Pear*

        Honestly, I’m still trying to figure this out too. I’m eyeing the Eileen Fisher sweater stone but need to look into how well it works.

        1. Annie*

          Maybe a lint roller or strips of masking tape or clear tape might do the trick? I know they can pick up stray hairs at least.

          1. Person*

            I have a “sweater shaver” and it is awesome. Mine is by Super Lint. I have also used it on my couch.

  194. jobbyjob*

    Does anyone consider themselves not naturally talented at communication and presentations (someone who is also naturally in introvert would be helpful) BUT you feel like you are actually really good at these things because of practice, or a mindset shift, or something else? When advising team members I have found that folks with natural skills in this area actually make less than helpful mentors in the types of suggestions they give. This comes up often as a gap with my very analytical team members- what advice do you have for them?

    1. EMP*

      I feel I might fall into the second bucket – an analytical person who is, well, not AMAZING at presentation, but decent to fine. One thing that helps me as I put together slides is to really focus on “what do I want the audience to leave here with”. A new understanding of our technology? Understanding why we did X instead of Y? Having that focus helps me organize my thoughts so I’m not just listing What I Did This Sprint but instead trying to highlight why/how/outcomes in a useful way.

      1. Awkwardness*

        This is key. Always think about the take-away of the audience.

        There are few basic things as:
        – no full text in presentations (as people will read the slide instead of listening to you),
        – no overwhelming information/too detailed graphs/too tiny letter size (as people try to comprehend the information instead of listening to you)
        – proper introduction
        – information of the final slide (as this will be kept on in most cases, so people will remember this)

        The presentation is to support the speaker and list main points. Nothing more.

        Other questions to ask:
        Do all people in the meeting have the same knowledge? How much of a detailed introduction is necessary or how much of an overview (technical staff vs. management)?
        Will you be presenting facts or start a discussion? Do you have a goal in the discussion to reach or to defend? If so, prepare for counterpoints. Example: You present of the new scissors for llama grooming and about the process to teach different departments to use those. The head of llama razor production was not helpful in the project and will surely doubt the quality of grooming done with scissors. So you have a quick statistic about time savings with scissors.

    2. Stickylizard*

      That’s 100% me. I’m very introverted–I’m super uncomfortable with any attention, dislike large groups, all of that. But in my first career as a K-12 teacher and in graduate school (music/humanities), I had to do a lot of presentations (class presentations, conference papers, etc.) or presentation-like things (emceeing school music concerts, parent night, pre-concert lectures).

      The two things that have helped me are practice and thinking of it as a performance or as acting–it isn’t the “real me” presenting, it’s Presentation Me. I rehearse the paper, PPT, or notecards over and over, often in front of a mirror and speaking aloud. This often also helps me create some distance from the “real me” as the script becomes ingrained in my mind and I focus on the specific task or information or presentation material. The mindset shift I go through probably emerged as a coping strategy to manage performing in beginning music recitals and concerts when I was a child, but I applied it to teaching (which terrified me!), lectures, and conference papers, and I found it to be so helpful.

    3. A Genuine Scientician*

      I am absolutely an introvert. But I still like presentations. Mindset stuff that helped me, but maybe not everyone else:

      1) If I’m being asked to present on a thing, it’s because I am in some way an expert on that thing. Even if it’s just being an expert on the specific situation. Someone wants to hear what I have to say on this topic, or else I wouldn’t have been asked to do this.

      2) There is absolutely a performance element. Think of it as a role you need to play. I know the stereotype is that the drama club is filled with the highly extroverted, but in reality there are a lot of performers who are naturally shy but pull on the role as they hit the stage. You can do that with a podium too. You don’t need to steal the show; you’re just trying to get a couple of key points across.

      3) Don’t be afraid of silence, or of starting a sentence over again if it gets away from you. One of the most common fears in the US is public speaking, so the odds are many of your audience members are glad they don’t have to be the one presenting. And they’re judging you less than you’re judging yourself. Taking 20 seconds to think, or take a sip of water, or saying “Let me start that sentence over” is going to be perfectly alright. If anything, it’s going to make you look *more* knowledgeable than just filling the silence would.

    4. MossyMissus*

      I’m introverted and find social situations hard – but I like giving presentations because then I’m in control! As people have said, it’s like a performance so I like to reframe it as ‘my time’ when everyone else gets to listen to me. NB works less well if people keep interrupting

    5. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

      I am a naturally talented presenter and I have mentored others on my team in developing their presentation skills! One of the tips I can offer is to have them think critically about every presentation they watch and ask themselves, “Is this is a good presentation, in my opinion? Why or why not? Am I getting the right information from it? Is it engaging and not boring? Is the presenter clear and poised?” And as they answer those questions, ask themselves why they think that way. They’ll get a list of how to emulate a good presented, with specific examples of “Do this” and “Don’t do this”. Then I suggest they ask for feedback every time they present so they can figure out what they need to tweak or adjust. If they’ve seen a presenter who was good at summarizing what’s on a slide, and they get the feedback that they need to be less wordy or not just read from a slide, they have an example they can emulate, and an actual skill that they can work on.

    6. ferrina*

      I have an introverted mentor who was great at communication who strongly recommends the book Quiet (The Power of Introverts In a World That Can’t Stop Talking) by Susan Cain.

    7. Theon, Theon, it rhymes with neon*

      I’m not sure if anyone else in the world is going to benefit from this extremely me-specific experience, but here goes:

      I’m a hardcore introvert, clearly neurodivergent in several ways, although it’s not clear I’d be diagnosable with ASD, and was born with interpersonal skills below my peers’ in a lot of ways.

      I’ve now become a pretty decent manager, and I’m hands-down the best at communication of all the other introverted and probably neurodivergent nerds who’ve managed my software development team in the last decade, and I got there by studying psychology, evolutionary biology, and related topics. Humans make a lot more sense now!

      Caveat: most psychology is BS, and most evolutionary psychology is BS. It helps if you have a background in philosophy of science and methodology to help sort out the wheat from the chaff. (I did say this was a very me-specific experience.) And you always have to keep individual variation in mind and not get so cocky that you start oversimplifying.

      But the mindset shift to “People are irrational because SCIENCE!” from “This person is being so irrational ARRRRGGH!” was gamechanging. It gave me both patience and specific strategies for dealing with people that I didn’t have before.

      I also give credit to AAM, plus mentoring from this one fantastic manager I had, who’s also naturally an introvert and has developed even more advanced interpersonal skills than mine. But I would never have been able to get nearly as much out of AAM or the mentoring without the evolutionary biology background.

  195. Nightengale*

    Neurodivergent care provider for neurodivergent patients here!

    Specifically I am a physician caring for kids. But the general challenges of being neurodivergent professional in a world that assumes the carers are neurotpyical, and the identifying with patients more than with other professionals, are probably applicable to many fields and patients/clients/students of all ages.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      I’m a neurodivergent patient and just… the paperwork. How do you deal with all the paperwork?

      1. Nightengale*

        Hah. Ours is a combination of paperwork and computerwork. It’s harder to loose the stuff scanned into the computer! Also one of my neurodivergences/disabilities affects handwriting so I often have forms scanned in for me to do as a PDF that others would handwrite.

        I use my desk as a demonstration to medical students about what the lack of executive function looks like.

        I have nursing support that isn’t ideal in some aspects but people will put papers in front of me and say “sign this”

        I have a very firm policy that we will not hold appointments hostage for lack of intake paperwork. Many people in my field refuse to schedule patients for an initial visit before the paperwork is returned. Considering 50% of children with ADHD have a parent with ADHD, I consider this an equity issue. Requiring paperwork also disproportionally impacts families with less education and those with limited English proficiency.

    2. ferrina*

      I’m ADHD and I’m 90% sure one of my kids is ADHD. The kid is in early elementary. My kid has biiiiiig feelings, to the point where they bully others. Any suggestions on helping my kid manage their feelings, and helping them curb the bullying?

      1. constant_craving*

        A few thoughts:

        Teach your kid to use cool down tools. Practice using them when calm. Model using them yourself (“I’m feeling upset so I’m going to walk away and take some deep breaths so I can talk to you in a calm, clear voice”). Talk about when to use them. Some of the families I work with build whole “cool down kits” for their kids, but you want at least some strategies that can be done without access to physical materials. Deep breathing, walking away, taking a “mind vacation,” etc. There are tons of options. It’s extremely hard to get kids to do these once the feelings are already big, so practice, practice, practice when kiddo is calm. Talk about how to notice what you’re feeling and when to use cool down tools (as you’re getting a little upset, don’t wait until feeling really upset).

        As much as possible, try to manage the situation to be less challenging for your kiddo. This can often include: setting clear and explicit expectations, making sure they’re not hungry/tired, keeping situations pretty structured, having ways to take a break, reducing the number of peers involved.

        Incentives, like a behavior chart at school rewarded at home, are really powerful when done correctly.

        All these skills together get taught in most behavioral parent training programs for ADHD (the only evidence-based non-medication treatment for kids with ADHD). It might be a good idea to see if this is offered near you.

      2. Nightengale*

        Not knowing your kid. . .

        if you haven’t talked to your kid’s PCP about ADHD, talk to them

        get a therapist.

        Ross Greene created Collaborative and Proactive Solutions – there are online materials and several books including “The Explosive Child.” It’s an adult/child problem solving approach that moves away from the usual reward/consequence system that doesn’t work as well as we have been told it does because children generally “know better” already but can’t “do better” when their skills don’t meet expectations. Very briefly there is the adult step of listing problems and triaging them, and then a joint process of solving problems with children by hearing their perspective, sharing the adult perspective and brainstorming. It has been used in kids with a variety of diagnoses and no diagnoses, and schools that use this approach have far fewer office referrals.

        To me, “bullying” implies a power imbalance where the more powerful person tries to hurt or exclude the less powerful person. Is this bullying or it is saying impulsive unkind things? Role play practice can help (often with that therapist I suggested). Some schools have a “lunch bunch” to practice social skills. Also there’s a strategy called “comic strip conversation” designed for autistic kids but a good strategy regardless of label. You draw out what happened (stick figures are fine) and speech bubbles of who said what. Then you draw in the thought/feeling bubbles. If the kid can’t figure out what to go there, the adult can supply suggestions.

        the feelings are fine, they are going to be big. what the kid says/does with them may be the issue. validate feelings. Keep validating them.

        Give fewer directions and ask fewer questions – swap them out for statements. For example, “spaghetti is on the table” rather than “eat your dinner.” There’s a great online resource for this, “declarative language”

        Finally the frontal lobe is still under construction and will get better!

    3. Fake Kirkland Coffee*

      I suspect I might have ASD, but I’m mostly able to skate on through the neurotypical world just fine. I’ve toyed with getting a diagnosis just to maybe get an answer, but I’m not sure what else a diagnosis could get me (outside of ADA stuff at work). Any advice?

      1. Nightengale*

        The two reasons for a diagnosis are if it would change anything and self-knowledge. this is true for any diagnosis, not just autism.

        “change anything” could mean medications, therapies, school or workplace accommodations. . .

        Self-knowledge can include peace of mind and validation and also things like strategies

        So if it wouldn’t change anything and you already have the self-knowledge/peace of mind, there may not be any reason. I will note that most autistic self-advocacy groups are very accepting of people who self-identify and so can be a source of advice and comradery regardless.

        “Knowing Why” is a book written by adult diagnosed autistic adults published by the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network. I actually haven’t read it yet but feel OK endorsing it based on my knowledge of the group overall.

  196. HannahS*

    I run excellent high-stakes meetings with various people who are both higher and lower ranking than me. On time, on topic, with clear communication on complex topics to the satisfaction of all parties, with interpersonal relationships preserved. My specific context is medical but a lot of it can be applied in other situations.

    I also went through medical school as a “non-traditional” student (i.e. not a classic biology major) with medical accommodations for a chronic illness, and am going through residency as a parent. If someone has questions for themselves or their loved ones about that, I’m happy to answer.

    1. Sumac and cedar*

      No questions, but as someone with a chronic illness I just want to say how happy this made me to read. We need more healthcare professionals with understanding of chronic illness, and lived experience is arguably the best way to gain that understanding!

    2. mushroommum*

      Not for me, but for my kid. She’s doing well (in STEM) at uni, non-biology/biochem/chem student, and is on-again/off-again on medicine. Did you have to learn Organic chem before going to med school? What about biochem? Would those have helped you? How important is volunteering in a healthcare setting? Other volunteer situations (she volunteers for a student club). Who do you recommend/not recommend med school for? — as in personality traits, etc. Favourite/worst parts of med school & residency?

      1. HannahS*

        Big caveat that I’m in Canada, not the US. I didn’t do any chemistry at all beyond AP chemistry in high school. I actually have a BA (long story but I started in a STEM degree and switched to an easier program due to my health at the time) though I did take quite a bit of biology and physiology. My recommendation for coursework is to see what the prerequisites are for the schools she’d be interested in attending, and planning based on that. It does help with the MCAT to know 1st-year university level biology, chemistry, organic chemistry, and physics.

        I didn’t volunteer in healthcare settings and many of my peers didn’t. I had a lot of work and volunteer experience with children, some of whom had medical needs. I did do some volunteer work as a research assistant, but I’m not sure how helpful that was given that some of my peers had Master’s degrees!

        Helpful character traits: an ability to delay gratification, resilience, self-motivation, good communication skills. Compassion, obviously. I was told, and I agree, that one should only pursue medicine if it’s the only thing you want to do. There are many, many lovely, satisfying, stable careers to be had in healthcare/science that don’t involve medical school.

        My favourite parts are what I got to / get to learn (because medicine is SO interesting) and how I get to help people. Helping people get better, helping them understand their illness/treatment, helping them navigate their way through the system and their illness, supporting them emotionally–it’s really, really satisfying. It scratches many of my intellectual and emotional itches at the same time, which I think very few other professions would.

        My least favourite–the exploitation of medical students and residents, the widespread abuse and mistreatment, the power games and politics. The sleep deprivation is also pretty brutal. A lot of that’ll go away when I’m no longer a resident, but it’s a long ten years of medical school and residency for me (not including mat leave.)

    3. UnicornFarmer*

      So I’m not working in anything medical or biological, but I struggle badly in giving the right level of context in general. It’s something that hit me hard yesterday in work with a conversation that was much more difficult than it needed to be. I usually don’t give enough, but occasionally go way overboard. A written document I can revise a bunch and get something approximately correct eventually. But it’s conversations that hit me badly. Any ideas on how to determine what the context is, and how much of it they already have?
      This also affects in my personal life which I kind of knew, but it’s suddenly obvious that this is something I need for professional reasons too.

      1. HannahS*

        In complex situations, I often start by asking what someone already knows, with something like, “I’m sure you’ve met with a lot of people about this–what’s your understanding so far of what’s going on?” Alternately, I might frame it as, “I’d like to quickly summarize what’s happened so far, so that we’re all on the same page.” Then I give a under-one-minute summary. Obviously, in every context it’s different, but I usually try to give the answers to these questions in my summary:
        -what was the initial problem/task?
        -what do we know so far about the problem/task?
        -what steps have been taken so far? what was the effect?
        -what is the present question?
        -“and that leads us to today, where we’re hoping to [state the goal of the meeting.]”

        The mistake people often make in over-communicating things is getting bogged down in “well I suggested this and then John said it might not work but we could try it anyway; I thought it was a good idea because it worked last time, so we tried that and it didn’t work.” Instead, that should be “we tried ___ and it didn’t work because___”

        One thing that no one teaches you is that it’s actually really helpful to rehearse. The first few times I knew I had high-stakes conversations coming up, I wrote myself bullet points on what had happened so far to organize myself, and I wrote down what I wanted to address in the meeting. In the moment, if I’m feeling flustered, I find it helpful to interrupt myself and say, “You know, I can hear myself getting scrambled. Why don’t we go back to the beginning, and I can summarize what’s happened so far.”

        If you’re someone who struggles to condense topics, a helpful exercise is to practice summarizing movies/books/TV shows in, say, three sentences or less. My dad used to make me do it (presumably because listening to your children describe exactly what happened in every book they read is exhausting) and I HATED it but gosh it really helped me learn how to communicate efficiently.

        1. HannahS*

          Sorry–and I’m not demonstrating amazing communication here because I’m on the tail end of a 24h shift–but to clarify, no matter what their answer is to my question about what they know so far, I always provide a summary.

  197. ecnaseener*

    Human-subjects researchers: I’m an IRB analyst, drop me any questions about how/what to submit, how to make your IRB love you, etc. (I’m US-based but I know my way around GCP as well.)

      1. ecnaseener*

        <3 to you too! (I can help with non-medical human research (psychology etc) if that's what you mean)

      1. ecnaseener*

        Things we love:

        * When you submit your best work — i.e. read all the instructions, make a genuine effort to answer every prompt instead of copying in something vaguely relevant from the grant, proofread for internal consistency (especially if your protocol has been evolving while you wrote it and especially if you’ve copied anything from another study), do your best to write the ICF in plain language, respond to every single IRB comment. I know there’s often pressure to be able to tell the sponsor or PI that you’ll submit to the IRB by X date, but if you submit something rushed and sloppy, well, that wastes our time and we don’t love that.

        * When you ask us to clarify things you don’t understand instead of just guessing. YMMV of course, but on my team we try very, very hard to be available and responsive because we would much rather you ask us a quick question about what an instruction/comment means than guess wrong and submit the wrong thing.

        * When you talk to us like people — if your IRB analyst sends you a message with a greeting and sign-off and stuff, don’t just wordlessly send back the revised documents :( And if you’ve made significant changes that aren’t in response to our comments, give us a heads-up! both so we don’t miss anything and because it just feels rude when someone tacks on a bunch of unexpected work for me without acknowledging it.

        * When you focus on what you’re going to be doing, not why. If you have a question about a planned study and are trying to give us some context (or we ask you for a brief overview), the most useful information is what actual procedures you’re doing — e.g., “clinical trial of an FDA-approved drug, there’ll be an MRI and CT scan”: that’s enough for me to tell you how to submit the study, I actually don’t give a crap at that stage what the drug’s supposed to do and I definitely don’t need to read any part of your grant. (Other info that’s relevant to the question of what/how to submit: funding, other institutions involved, are minors eligible, if analyzing existing data where is it coming from and is it identifiable)

        * When you at least pretend to buy in to the idea of ethics review, lol. (New researchers are often my favorites for this reason — a lot of them are genuinely invested in seeing how the review process can make their study better.) We’re positioned a bit weirdly as both regulatory compliance and ethics, so it’s understandable that people sometimes focus on objective compliance and forget about subjective ethics, but the ethics is the point. If we ask a question like “would it be feasible for you to do B instead of A?” really consider the question, don’t just think of it as “what should I say to get them to let me do A.” If you find yourself saying “but if I put Detail X in the consent form, it might make people not want to be in the study! am I really required to include it?” — take a step back, remind yourself what informed consent means, if you’re asking this question then the answer is definitely yes.

        OK, better stop there! In closing: different IRBs are different, but a lot of us really try to have positive relationships with the research community, so just treat us like respected colleagues who want to help you do research (we do!), as opposed to treating us like red tape you wish you could skip.

        1. constant_craving*

          I think I’d like working with your IRB better than others I’ve worked with.

    3. Careless Whisper*

      I’ve tried to get research teams to write better (more readable) ICFs several times, and I get pushback because they say IRBs are too bureaucratic/conflict-riddled to change and want what they’re used to. Is there any openness to changing up standard templates for ICFs?

      1. ecnaseener*

        Conflict-riddled is not something I’ve seen personally.

        Bureaucratic, guilty as charged — ICF templates are not entirely the IRB’s to dictate. Especially with clinical research, you’ve got language about HIPAA, research-related injury, subject payments, and costs of procedures, which all tend to be set by legal counsel or the contracts office. We push for it to be in plain language as much as possible, but it’s generally never going to be as plain as it should be. And then there are sometimes statements required verbatim by law. Even for the parts that are entirely ours, an overhaul of the template is something that gets reviewed by the entire staff and all the IRB chairs, if not the entire membership — so it’s not a frequent thing.

        Wanting what they’re used to — also yes. We put a lot of work and thought into our ICF template, we’re very good at reviewing it efficiently, and research teams with a dozen studies open at once are very good at walking subjects through it. Every IRB is different so I’m sure there are many that are more strict than mine and many that are less strict, but at mine we strongly prefer researchers use our template and most of the example language in it. If you propose a rephrase that’s actually better, great (we might even steal it for the next version of the template) but if you’re removing boilerplate that serves a specific purpose, we might push back on that and I’m sure some IRBs will flat-out refuse any changes to their standard language.

        If you do want to propose a deviation from the template, my recommendations would be: 1) Look at the template to see whether the language you’re looking at seems to be strictly required or just sample language, 2) Provide a justification for the deviation up front — without one, it can look like an error and I’m more likely to just change it back without bothering to ask why you did it. (But from your phrasing, it sounds like you’re not even getting to that point because the research teams aren’t willing to try it?)

        Oh, and for multi-site studies with a single IRB of record, we really can’t have each site write their own version of non-site-specific language — the big commercial IRBs have systems for handling that, maybe some of the bigger institutional ones do too, mine does not.

  198. get out the map*

    I’ve worked with ArcGIS for a long time am what most would call a “power user.” Not so much with the coding side of things, but if you work with ArcMap or ArcGIS Pro and have questions, I’d be happy to help! It seems like it’s a software that can come up for a lot of people in jobs where there wasn’t really training in it.

    1. Warrant Officer Georgiana Breakspear-Goldfinch*

      How do I get started? I’m having to do map things and have no mapping background; I’m a developer (currently using Leaflet to make maps, but at some point that’s probably not going to cut it).

      1. get out the map*

        I think in terms of where to start, it depends on what exactly you’re aiming to do and what software access you have. I’m not personally familiar with Leaflet, but it seems to be aimed at web maps. If that is your end product, then you can also use ArcGIS Online – individuals can sign up for accounts by just using an email, though if your organization has some kind of enterprise or organizational account, that could have more resources. Esri’s own help site has a lot of great how-to and FAQ type sites, for getting started with their suite of products. They are definitely the major name in the space, though their products do come with $$$$ once you try to move outside of what you can do with the free online maps (which is still quite a bit). There are a lot of resources that are just published to the public that can be pulled in to an online map – e.g. census data, rivers, trails – a lot of governments publish data to ArcGIS Online. If cost is an issue, the free open source name that I’m familiar with is QGIS, but I don’t know much about actually using it.

        1. Lady Alys*

          I’ve taught myself how to use just enough QGIS for my job, and could recommend a few Udemy courses (the fee for which the instructor waives for non-profits) and YouTube channels. It’s amazing.

      2. get out the map*

        I think in terms of where to start, it depends on what exactly you’re aiming to do and what software access you have. I’m not personally familiar with Leaflet, but it seems to be aimed at web maps. If that is your end product, then you can also use ArcGIS Online – individuals can sign up for accounts by just using an email, though if your organization has some kind of enterprise or organizational account, that could have more resources. Esri’s own help site has a lot of great how-to and FAQ type sites, for getting started with their suite of products. They are definitely the major name in the space, though their products do come with significant cost once you try to move outside of what you can do with the free online account. There are a lot of resources that are just published to the public that can be pulled in to an online map – e.g. census data, rivers, trails – a lot of governments publish data to ArcGIS Online. If cost is an issue, the free open source name that I’m familiar with is QGIS, but I don’t know much about actually using it.

        PS- sorry in advance if this comment double-posts, not sure if I somehow triggered moderation but it didn’t look like it posted the first time

    2. Em from CT*

      This is a very basic question, I suppose, but here goes:

      I used ArcGIS extensively when I was in college, but that was quiet a long time ago. I’d love to pick it up again, particularly for using HAZUS/natural disaster risk modelling.

      Can you offer any guidance about how to get myself set up with an ArcGis install? I.e. can I run it on my Mac? (I think not, right?) Do I need an especially powerful PC with a lot of memory?

      Or, I guess, just generally: any advice for someone diving into ArcGIS? I’m pretty tech-savvy and can learn programs pretty well just by playing with them, but any “start here” advice would be welcome!

      1. get out the map*

        So, as far as actually getting the program – I think ArcGIS operates off of a subscription service for individual users, and it looks like that runs around ten dollars a month if you are just using it for personal stuff rather than business use. You can also just sign up for a free ArcGIS Online account, which will let you play with online maps without having to actually install the program. The software itself has probably changed a lot since you last saw it- in the last couple of years, they have rolled out ArcGIS Pro, which looks a lot more modern and is set up to have a more user-friendly UI. The old ArcMap is officially in “mature support.” If you want something free that will look more like what you probably remember, I haven’t used it myself but QGIS is free and open source.

        I’ve never run it on a Mac, and it’s definitely less typical, but it looks like it can be done if you have an M-series processor – the Esri support website has the specs recommended. Where I work, the standard laptops (windows) don’t do well with it, so GIS users have upgraded laptops – you definitely need a machine that can be more on the workhorse end of things. For what it’s worth, my processor is a an 11th Gen Intel Core i7-11850H and I have 32 gb RAM.

        Esri’s own how-to’s are generally great resources, and they have forums as well, so taking a look at those can be helpful. Plus, there are some helpful series on youtube that can get you started- I don’t have links off hand, but I can see if I can find some if you’d like!

  199. wordsworkshop*

    I workshop written drafts for live storytelling performance. It’s not as esoteric as it may seem at first glance — even if someone ultimately does not tell a story on stage, the skills developed from story coaching are transferable to so many contexts.

  200. BellyButton*

    Are you using Ai? Does your company have AI policies, if so what?
    I am a firm believer that AI won’t replace me, but someone using AI will.
    I am only internal facing, so I have more leeway than those who are customer facing. I use AI all day every day- I use it to write internal comms, emails, Slack employee engagement posts, I used it yesterday to design a visual I was struggling with. I produce almost double the amount of content now that I use AI.

    1. WellRed*

      Our company is encouraging people to try it out in the belief that it will create efficiency. I’m a writer and reporter. I can write better than AI and do far, AI hasn’t replaced interviewing people for stories. I did use it to create a limerick recently and thought it wasn’t half bad!

      1. BellyButton*

        I also use it to record meetings, creating transcripts, summaries, notes, and action items. The thing is the more you use it the more it understands you and your style. I can load in some of my work and tell it to use my voice and my company brand to write XYZ. I then go back in a tweak it to be exactly what I want. But it does a ton of the leg for me.

        2. The Real Fran Fine*

          That’s what I use AI for at work (Copilot), as well as for creating beautiful headshots. AI is amazing.

    2. Iris Eyes*

      I’m sure there are people using it, unfortunately it looks like that is going to sneak up on the IT department. When I asked if there were any guidelines/documentation regarding the use of AI they said if I wanted to download any programs I would need to submit it for approval and that would take a few weeks.

      1. BellyButton*

        Everyone in my company is using ChatGPT and Fathom for Zoom. I was just in a meeting and we were trying to figure out how to word something, and all 4 of us went into ChatGPT and let it figure it out. I honestly can’t imagine not using it at this point. The amount of work it does for me is amazing. We do have guidelines and policies for use, but we are embracing it and using it to our advantage. I worry about those who don’t. It is hard enough being 50 and staying relevant, something this big and such a game changer could end up pushing a lot of people out.

        Like I said above- people won’t be replaced by AI, but they will be replaced by someone using AI.

    3. neurotech nerd*

      From someone who knows a fair bit about the tech behind AI, including recent graduate-level study, and has numerous good friends working in the field…what we currently call AI is essentially applied statistics. Anyone who treats it like “intelligence” or something that is capable of understanding meaning is buying into a dangerous fallacy. It is not and can never be what is now called “General AI” because of some really fundamental limitations in the way it works.

      It’s important that we fight our human tendency to anthropomorphize it—I do it too sometimes, even though I know exactly what goes into it and what doesn’t. It doesn’t “learn,” no matter what kind of fanciful language people use; it derives indirect input from a variety of subtle feedback mechanisms and processes those as parameter adjustments. It can’t extrapolate, reason, make judgment calls, or be accountable for decisions of any kind. Crucially, it doesn’t distinguish between true and false.

      There are also some extremely valid ethical concerns around AI. I’m not talking about Skynet-type fearmongering, I’m talking about current established practices underlying widely-used AI products. I think copyright law is going to be increasingly relevant: after all, who actually owns something generated by an AI that used illegally scraped training data? (i.e. the vast majority of them) Issues relating to AI replication/perpetuation of human bias are also quite well-documented.

      I don’t think AI is inherently bad or evil, or even that it’s useless. I do think that the way we talk about it has led and will lead to some really troubling outcomes, and I don’t believe any LLMs based on current technical structures will ever surpass a mediocre and untrustworthy quality of output.

      Personally, I strongly discourage my team from using ChatGPT. Not only is it ethically objectionable to me, I find that when people use it regularly, they consistently produce worse work. If they are still using it, they’ve learned to edit it to the point where I can’t tell, which is honestly all I want but is much harder than habitual ChatGPT users seem to think.

      As I always say: if nobody bothered to write this, why should I bother to read it?

  202. Tiny clay insects*

    Hi! I am a jack of all trades, master of none, sort of person. I sat down to think about what I know a ton about, but didn’t come up with anything (besides roller derby).

    I could use advice, though. I own a travel business that is newish and growing, and I teach nearly full-time at a university. I also have a novel coming out this summer. I am definitely experiencing symptoms of burnout. I can’t bail on my classes right now, nor can I cancel the tours I’m leading this summer. Once I reach July, I should have thr space to re-evaluate things and rearrange my life. but right now I’m so tired and overwhelmed, I feel like I have lost my capacity to feel happiness. (my dog has also had some health issues, which does not help.) Does anyone have advice about how to make things easier on yourself and ease some of the pressure during a shortish time period when you can’t just quit? I’d love tot all to people who are experts in crawling back from the edge of burnout.

    1. Garblesnark*

      1. Do you know about the stress cycle? There are short ted talks etc on this that say it better than I can, and understanding it will help.

      2. i understand you can’t cut out these work tasks. is there ANYTHING you can cut out or ask for help with? or pay someone to do?

      3. you must have designated rest time, and the rest has to actually be restful. for me, that means I have to also schedule designated panic/worry time, so when I panic/worry during rest time, I get to tell myself “no, that’s a Tuesday night activity.” it also means I had to figure out what makes rest actually restful for me – it’s different for different people.

      1. Tiny clay insects*

        1. I don’t know about the stress cycle, and I’m definitely going to google it.

        2. I think I should make a list of all of the things I have to do, and figure out what things I can quit doing. I can’t quit all work tasks, but I bet I could drop certain things or do a little less or whatever.

        3. I need to figure that out. I feel like I don’t know how to rest. I either fall immediately asleep or I just anxiously think about things I should be doing.

        Thank you for answering!

    2. Goddess47*

      Depending on what you teach and how the class(es) are set up, drop a test/assignment/project from the list… it’s late in the semester but both you and your students will be glad to have something taken off your list. You can do ‘everyone gets 100’ sort of approach, so the gradebook doesn’t have to be re-jiggered….

      Good luck!

      1. Tiny clay insects*

        This is a really, really good idea. I bet I could radically simplify some assignments or cut things out so grading is easier.

  203. Put the Blame on Edamame*

    I can demystify SEO and online grocery store marketing for anyone. I’m also good at presenting, online and in person, and writing report commentary.

    1. ThinMint*

      I don’t know what question to ask, but I’m intrigued about “online grocery store marketing”

      1. Put the Blame on Edamame*

        In the business we call it “retail media”, which is vague as hell, hence my rather clumsy phrase “online grocery store marketing”. So, since supermarket websites have existed, they have had promotional deals on them which came out of the agreement between the brand and the supermarket – e.g. if Alison was selling Alison’s Awesome Cat Food on supermarket.com, her overall agreement with the supermarket would probably have some marketing/promotion/deals baked in, like a featured special on supermarket.com/petfood/cat.

        Over the last few years, supermarkets have realised what Amazon was already on to – that as 3rd party cookies were devalued on the web, and as mass audiences became harder to reach by advertisers*, they had a very valuable place as media platforms: lots of people visit grocery website/apps, and they have a huge amount of 1st party data. Plus, they can measure impact (sales, add to baskets, new to brand purchases…) in a way that, say, a TV ad can’t – and that other digital advertising often claims it can, but due to various reasons (like 3rd party cookies being eliminated) often can’t, either.

        *The days of everyone watching the same TV show is over. There was a recent side note in Ryan Broderick’s Garbage Day about how people watching Shogun on Netflix were complaining that they “hadn’t heard anything about it” before the premiere – yet it had a Superbowl ad & a collosal ad campaign! But we consume media of all kinds in such different, moderated ways. However, most of us go to a supermarket – online or in person – and get regular exposure to them. I’m not saying Shogue should’ve advertised on Walmart.com, but it might not have hurt…

        So if Alison wants to advertise her new cat food flavour (Essence du Llama), and wants to reach a huge amount of people, and understand whether the ad was effective or not, a solution could be to advertise directly on supermarket.com. As well as any promo covered in her trading terms with the grocery, she can now buy media on the site much like she would on Meta or Google – search ads, sometimes display ads (banners, footers, even the thumbnails used on drop-down menus), “other customers added to basket”, favourites section, maybe a homepage takeover. She can target the ad, somewhat – outside of Amazon, targeting is fairly rudimentary on grocery sites, but it could be for “previous cat food purchasers”. These new types of ads are dynamic (i.e. can be changed quickly), and most commonly they’re search based – someone puts “cat food” in the supermarket.com search bar and Alison can bid on that term to appear on the top of the search results. One of the considerations would be, as most grocery items have low price points compared to, say, buying a car, is that the cost of a search placement might be more than the product is worth; my clients constantly complain that if they want to “own” the category term (like, “cat food”, “pet food”, whatever the generic phrase for the product type), they’d spend more money than the sales would recoup.

        Retail media has been slowly developing over the last decade but COVID made it grow stratospherically, so what I do is help my clients (FMCG brands) understand what it is and how to use it best. It’s still quite immature in digital marketing terms – like, Amazon Ads is by far the most advanced, and they’re still quite primitive compared to Google or Meta. And I used the Shogun example because retail media is evolving past just grocery products to advertise many other products/services.

        I hope that wasn’t too boring!

    2. ferrina*

      What are the basics of SEO? What are some good resources for learning about SEO? My organization is due for a website refresh, but doesn’t have an SEO expert and doesn’t have budget to bring one in.

      1. Put the Blame on Edamame*

        There are three “buckets” of SEO, and getting the basics right on each will help out hugely – and don’t require a full-on expert, but may require some time and attention.

        1. Technical: The website itself – is it accessible by Google (do you have Search Console set up, have you submitted a site map to it – actually very easy to do!), are there many error (404) pages? Are there many redirects? Is it accessible across different devices?

        This also covers UX issues, like “does the navigation make sense” and how many clicks would it take for a user to get to where they want to go; for instance, if you have a search bar, do people have to use it to find the most-wanted content on the site? They shouldn;’t have to – that should be clickable from the homepage.

        Essentially, the people who make your site need to ensure that it’s usable, not just fancy looking. Also, if you are doing a website refresh that involves moving content (let’s say AAM was changing the site and all the pages with a question on them had /question/ in the URL) need to have a redirect map and redirection plan, so check in on that. Refreshes often lead to older content being “orphaned”, so stray links may exist onsite and across the web that go to 404 pages – these can be easily avoided with careful planning.

        2. Content: Is the content accessible – do you have alt text on key images, is it readable, do you hyperlink between relevant content? Is the content relevant – I have gone to organisation’s home pages and been mystified by what they actually do because the homepage is all branding, no detail. And, for Google and for people, is your content findable? Which can be as simple as checking that the meta data is clear – meta data covers things like the page title (which on this page is “knowledge swap! share your expertise with people here”), the title tag (what’s displayed on the browser tab, here it’s “knowledge swap! share your expertise with people here – Ask a Manager”), as well as any subheadings (H tags). You don’t need to cram these with keywords, you need to make them clear and accurate; for example, if Alison had named this page “AAM – KnowSwap Time – post your best info below” it might kind of make sense to a regular reader in context, but it’s gibberish to most people. For your org, presumably you have content on the who-what-where-how of what you do, ensure that, say, the staff info page doesn’t have an insider-only name like “Da Skwad” but is called something like “[Org Name] People – Staff Contact Information”. Google is good at image reading, but still use captions and alt text on important images.

        And with content, use common sense – avoid churned-out AI slop or relying too much on stock imagery, images/videos that are sized weirdly or presented without context.

        If you are an org with a physical presence and location(s) are important – e.g. if you’re a shop or a community centre – make sure you have your location information easily findable (like in the footer of the page) and a dedicated location page with contact information, and ideally complete your Google Business Profile, Apple Maps, and Bing Maps profiles.

        If you are selling and have multiple products with different variations, check to see how Google is showing those variations – Search Console is good for this.

        Also, don’t worry about social share buttons, some CSS have them baked in still, even now, but disable them if you can – no one clicks on them and they take up extra time to load on the site adding to overall load time.

        3. Offsite – this essentially is your website’s “reputation” online, it’s footprint; it’s every outside website/online entity that connects to yours. This is part of why redirections are important, if the NY Times is linking to a page on your website and you orphan it, that’s a bad look for SEO. There’s a whole world of “linkbuilding” activities, but instead of worrying about that, if you are doing a website refresh the key is to maintain your existing link profile for a start, and check where people are linking to – Search Console is a good start, it can also show any dodgy sites linking to yours (that said, these days “toxic” links are less of an issue than they used to be, mind you there was a Russian bot attack recently that caused havoc on loads of websites, so you do need to be aware of what is out there). And check your hygiene – do your social profiles link to the correct homepage or contact page? (Again, so often people don’t! I had a client who spent half a million on a campaign on social media and never once added a link to any post to the website they had built to support it. Or another client who had a year-old promotional contest as their IG link, if you clicked it, 404 error). Are your listings on relevant directories accurate (e.g. my local yoga teacher works out of a community centre, I got her to make sure her website is listed on their website)?

        Along with those things, the other key thing to consider for a website refresh is analytics. Google switched their analytics platform last year, so presumably if you are using GA you have already moved to GA4, but thinking about what you want to measure and how, and that it;s accurate, is important in planning a website change.

        Think about these things ahead of a website change, not after. Decent planning will save so much time!

      2. Put the Blame on Edamame*

        In terms of good resources, unfortunately there are a lot of trash outlets flooding Google & YouTube with SEO “advice”, and I’m out of the game of SEO long enough to not know the absolute best places. That said, the old faithfuls were: Moz.com, BrightonSEO’s content library, SEO Roundtable, and I used to find the Screaming Frog youtube channel super helpful. I’d give LinkedIn Learning a shot – I haven;t done their SEO courses but I usually find their stuff good quality. I did all the Circus Street SEO courses about 5 years back and they were solid enough. Google’s online training on analytics etc is excellent, and free.

      3. Natan Gesher*

        > What are the basics of SEO?

        1. Google can only rank what it can index, can only index what it can render, and can only render what it can crawl. Make your web pages accessible to Google.

        2. One user need > one searcher intent > one closely connected group of search queries > one website (or section of a website, or page on a website)

        3. Try to optimize for relevance (self explanatory), for quality (user experience, speed, minimal advertising, readability) and for authority (links from other sites, links from your own site, social shares, unlinked mentions) in approximately equivalent amounts.

        > What are some good resources for learning about SEO?

        Whenever I’m teaching someone, I always start with this: https://www.w3schools.com/html/

        These may also help:
        – https://moz.com/learn/seo
        – https://www.semrush.com/blog/learn-seo/
        – https://developers.google.com/search

  204. PM by Day, Knitter by Night*

    I successfully practice inbox zero on both personal and both work accounts. Ask me how I do it.

    I’m also an IT project manager, a liberal arts grad in a company of engineers, and a kick-ass knitter.

      3. PM by Day, Knitter by Night*

        My husband has like 26,000 unread messages and it gives me hives.

        First, I use folders. Trick is to not have too many. At work, I have one for each project and a couple of miscellaneous ones. (Admin, Personal, Procurement) If I have an event that’s going to result in a lot of email, I might set up a folder for that event. Like an audit, a system outage that I’m managing, something like that. In my personal email, same thing. One for each kid, house stuff, shopping, knitting stuff, whatever. I would say I have about twelve folders in my personal email, more in my work email.

        Second – and the most important part – the first time I read the email I either delete it or, if it’s just informational, file it. If the email requires a response, but no real action, I reply right away and file or delete it. Since I have a copy in my sent email, I usually just delete it.

        If it requires an action from me, I add whatever the task is to my to do list then file the email. I only leave it in my in box for a period of time if I need to mull over what the action is. Once I’ve figured that out and put it in my to-do list, I file it.

        Third, I’m ruthless about deleting stuff. If I don’t think I’ll need it, I don’t save it. I don’t worry about archiving. Like Elsa, I just let it go.

        Finally, in my personal email, I’m diligent about unsubscribing. Like everyone else, I inadvertently agree to receive all kinds of crap. The first time it shows up, if I’m not interested, I unsubscribe. It takes a minute upfront, but my personal email inbox is amazingly devoid of junk. For sites that I order from all the time, and I have an account with purchase history, I turn off email alerts.

        Good luck. It takes some discipline in the moment but I find it worth the effort. Between four inboxes, I have a total of 2 emails, which warms my heart.

    2. Scott*

      I’m with Thin Mint on this. My gmail account shows 3064 in the inbox (not counting social and promotional that I just wholesale delete every few weeks.)

    1. anon_sighing*

      What would you say to someone who quit clarinet because their teacher was a bit bonkers? Lol.

      (Or: what’s the best way to introduce someone to the clarinet to create a meaningful relationship?)

      1. JP*

        The answer to that question can vary wildly. You see this in public schools all the time – seven elementary schools across one district, same levels of initial enrollment in the music program, by the time the kids get to junior high, only 20% are left still participating from some schools, compared to 70% from others. The results can be pretty dramatic over the course of several years.

        To start off, I recommend listening to clarinetists. Listen to different styles – classical, jazz, blues, etc. That was never part of the learning process when I was in school, and it seems so weird in retrospect. I wish I had had a better handle on the musician that I wanted to be. If I had been listening to Doreen Ketchens when I was a little girl, my musical career would have looked a lot different.

        One thing I’d also recommend as a player is to record yourself. Keep a practice journal. Take time to reflect on how far you’ve come and where you want to go. Remember your own agency during the learning process.

    2. KidClarinet*

      My middle schooler, in 2nd year of band, is not in love with playing her clarinet. Any tips to encourage her to stick with it? We want her in band at least 1-2 more years, and for her to take a chance on high school marching band. She says she will stay in band if she can switch to flute. Her band director said ok, but she would need to take summer lessons on her own to catch up. How hard will that be if she is not very motivated?

      1. Nelalvai*

        What about clarinet is unappealing, and what makes flute more appealing? Does she get along better with the flute section than the clarinet section? Think flautists are more popular? Enjoy the sound or the challenges more? Flute is new and therefore interesting, and clarinet is familiar and therefore boring? Is tired of breaking in and caring for reeds?
        If it’s the third one, I’m cautiously optimistic she could meet the band director’s standards. If it’s the last one, maybe. Reeds are finnicky suckers.
        Otherwise, I dunno. It’s hard to sustain school habits during summer. Depends a lot on the kid. It helps if you genuinely enjoy playing your instrument day after day after day.

      2. JP*

        I do play a bit of flute as well, but clarinet is my main instrument. There are some similarities with the fingerings. The embouchure is the main difference. You’re blowing across an open hole on a flute, sort of like when you blow over the top of a bottle to make a noise. It’s extremely different from what she’s used to on clarinet. It’s definitely possible to make the switch, and I’d say that if her heart is set on it, the sooner the better. If she does go through with it, I would also encourage shorter, but more frequent practice sessions throughout the week, rather than one or two longer practice sessions. 20 minutes a day for three days spread through the week is far more valuable than one hour once a week.

        I would recommend speaking with your daughter to figure out why exactly she’s not enjoying playing the clarinet, and why she wants to switch to flute. Is her instrument in good condition? It’s shocking how often kids will give up on playing a wind instrument, thinking they’re no good, when it turns out there was a mechanical issue holding them back. Is it a social issue – her friends are all flute players (not an invalid reason for wanting to switch, especially if she’s going to be around these people for years)? Does she just like the sound of the flute more than the clarinet? When it comes to playing an instrument, or sport, or any extra curricular, I don’t like the idea of pushing a kid to pursue it if the kid isn’t really into it, so I’d really want to know the details and the whys of everything.

        Lastly, my parents also pushed me to join marching band. I had a blast, really enjoyed it. But, over the course of my adult life, I’ve come to have some significant reservations about it. My marching band program in high school was highly competitive. I was spending 25 hours a week minimum during the season involved at rehearsals, football games, and competitions. It was way too much. I would never recommend a high schooler join that kind of program unless their heart was set on it. Also, woodwind players may not have as fulfilling an experience as brass, percussion, or auxiliary members of the band. The last band I worked with as an instructor was overrun with former drum corps folks on the staff who treated woodwinds as an afterthought. That’s not every program, obviously, but I run into that mentality a lot.

        Overall, I caution against pushing your kid to join marching band just because. It can be incredibly beneficial, but there can be significant downsides as well.

      3. Dogwoodblossom*

        I loved playing clarinet in high school but deeply fucking resented having to do marching band (which was a band requirement at my school). I was a nerd, *that’s why I was in band* and hated having to play boring simplistic pep songs at every freezing cold football game.

    3. Sopranistin*

      Hi there! What are your thoughts on synthetic reeds?
      I played clarinet in grade school through college. My degree is actually in voice and piano. But I’m always thinking of picking the clarinet up again just for fun. It’s been over a decade. I never knew synthetic reeds existed until recently!

      1. JP*

        I’m in favor of them! I personally still use the traditional reeds because it’s just what I’m used to, but I’ve seen other players use synthetic with pretty nice results. The consensus seems to be that Legere European cut synthetics are one of the best brands currently available. Whichever you decide to go with, try to make sure you have a decent reed case where you can store the reeds on a completely flat surface to avoid warping. It will extend the life of either type of reed.

        I did once see a non synthetic reed dipped in rubber or something. I don’t recommend those. I haven’t seen one in a long time. They may not even be made anymore.

        I’m not sure what your mouthpiece setup is, so this may be unnecessary advice, but the general rule is that the mouthpieces that come with a clarinet are usually crap. Vandoren B45s are usually a pretty solid replacement option. I used one for most of high school and a bit into college. Same goes for the ligature. I really like my Rovner inverted ligature, I think it’s made of nylon / fabric composite. Metal ligatures are also good if they’re well made. Something that has a groove or extra metal in the ring to help steady the reed is usually preferable to the plain metal circle things. I feel like I get a darker tone from the Rovner than what I’d get from a metal one, but it comes down to whatever you prefer.

        Good luck!

  206. Czhorat*

    I have very few actually useful skills.

    My job is designing commercial audiovisual systems, so I know a ton about room systems, K-12 stuff (including paging which can be interesting) and installed corporate stuff.

    It doesn’t translate to online, but I also juggle (and spin flowersticks, play a tiny bit of diabolo, and dabble with dragonstaff and contact staff). I DO sometimes informally teach juggling on my lunch hour.

    Not sure if I can answer any questions about those here without being in person with some props

    1. AnotherSarah*

      Okay I have a juggling for kids question! My three year old desperately wants to juggle (he calls it “jungling”). Obviously I just let him have at it with whatever less-destructive balls we have (currently dryer balls, though they’re a bit big for his hands). If he wanted to actually practice, is there 1-2 things he could start doing to work on it? Also: recs for balls that will not shatter things and are small enough for tiny hands? (This is also more a general athleticism question–my husband and I are noticing that he’s just not so coordinated and would like to help him improve that in a low-key way. Not at the level of intervention yet, I think, just that this seems like a good time to do a little practice.)

      1. Le le lemon*

        I’m not the OP, but we used to put rice into a flimsy sandwich bag (enough to make a ball, prob 1-2 C), tie it up, then stretch balloons over it (cut the neck off first), and do lots of layers. Soft if it lands on you/sturdy enough it shouldn’t break. (Hopefully, no latex allergies).

      2. WheresMyPen*

        When I did a circus day at school they had us practice juggling with floating scarves or handkerchiefs as they fall a lot slower. It’s also good to start practising with two balls and throwing in a circular motion, so when you throw one ball up, pass the other to the other hand, then catch the first ball in the free hand.

        1. AnotherSarah*

          Also smart! Falling slower is probably good for a kid with not-super hand-eye coordination….

    1. Kiki Is The Most*

      What do you do now? How long did it take to acquire your new job? Please tell me you didn’t have to go back to uni for more schooling….
      Do you still use your teacher voice at work?

    2. WheresMyPen*

      I work in educational publishing – lots of teachers in this industry writing or editing materials :)

  208. CoffeeCat*

    Data/Business Intelligence Analyst here! Topics for questions to me: Excel, Alteryx, dashboard tools (Tableau, Power BI, Looker), SQL (up to an intermediate level or so), DBeaver, Databricks (data warehouse).

    1. CoffeeCat*

      Topics for questions from me: any recommendations for getting started and learning about AI and Machine Learning?

  209. Ginger Family Med NP*

    I can help with ways to advocate for yourself with medical staff when you are in a larger body.

    1. Ginger Cat Lady*

      I don’t even know where to start with specific questions, because there is SO MUCH, but can you give us your top 5 tips?

      1. Ginger Family Med NP*

        My first tip would be to find a weight-neutral or fat-positive provider if at all possible – I recognize the limitations of health insurance and healthcare networks, but Mary Lambert (handle is @marylambertsings on IG) has a link to a google doc with a list of providers in most states in multiple specialties, ASDAH (Association for Size Diversity and Health) has a provider list on their website (although this is mostly RDs and therapists, it is growing), and if you google HAES providers there is a link to fatfriendlydocs.com which may yield options. Self magazine also recently published an article about how to find a fat friendly doc.

        Secondly – we all deserve healthcare spaces and tools that are the appropriate size for our bodies. Specifically with blood pressure cuffs, they should fit your arm appropriately, not barely have the velcro overlap – if they don’t fit, the BP reading will be artificially high. A forearm blood pressure is an option too.

        Gotta go see a patient but I’ll be back with more in an hour or two!

        1. Ginger Family Med NP*

          Third – you can refuse to be weighed and you can also refuse to consent to the “intervention” of a discussion about diet and exercise (although nutrition by addition can be a great way to positively affect labs, recommending calorie or carb restriction is not supported by evidence generally) (and discussing physical activity can also be supportive of health goals such as improved blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar – but this applies to all people, not just people in larger bodies).

          4. If you feel like your concerns are being dismissed in favor of a recommendation for weight loss, it is reasonable to say “Do thin people get this condition?” (spoiler alert, they do! it doesn’t matter what it is, there isn’t a single disease process that occurs in fat bodies but not thin bodies) and when the provider says “well yeah, but…” you can respond “What would you recommend to a straight sized person who has this condition?”

          5. Ragen Chastain is a great follow on instagram and writes the Weight and Healthcare newsletter on substack. She also publishes the HAES health sheets at haeshealthsheets.com which have condition specific recommendations that you can take to appointments with you.

    2. I Have RBF*

      How do I screen prospective primary care doctors to make sure they don’t do the weight/obesity/diet/exercise lecture? I don’t want to schedule an appointment just to end up yelling and walking out. I am also enby, and want to get a breast reduction, and I won’t put up with being told to “lose weight before I’ll consider it”, because that is that same as “fuck off, fatass” in my book.

      Yes, I’m bitter.

      1. Ginger Family Med NP*

        copied from my response to Ginger Cat Lady so you see it:

        My first tip would be to find a weight-neutral or fat-positive provider if at all possible – I recognize the limitations of health insurance and healthcare networks, but Mary Lambert (handle is @marylambertsings on IG) has a link to a google doc with a list of providers in most states in multiple specialties, ASDAH (Association for Size Diversity and Health) has a provider list on their website (although this is mostly RDs and therapists, it is growing), and if you google HAES providers there is a link to fatfriendlydocs.com which may yield options. Self magazine also recently published an article about how to find a fat friendly doc.

        Or if you let me know about where you are I can see what I can find for you.
        I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Discrimination against fat folx by healthcare providers is pervasive, and especially in a situation that some HCPs might see as “elective,” very frequently trans and non binary patients who live in larger bodies struggle immensely to get the care they need.

      2. Mad Harry Crewe*

        If it helps, I was able to get top surgery while not being Ideally Thin. I was worried that my surgeon might ask me to loose weight. We talked about weight and outcome (I brought it up), but she has no problem with me as I am. It’s not a guarantee, but here’s one good experience to help balance the horror stories of fatphobic surgeons.

  210. Em from CT*

    I work in state & local government, specifically procurement. Curious about how to write a Request for Proposals (RFP) or how governments evaluate vendors’ proposals? Do you have a tough problem that you’re sure the market knows how to solve and you want to solicit vendors’ help? Or are you a layperson and want to understand just why government procurement is so complex? Hit me up.

    (I can also connect folks to an excellent professional organization for those in the field; lmk.)

    1. Coffee and Plants*

      Gosh, I do commercial contracting but I’ve always wondered how I can make the switch to procurement. Any tips? I feel like it’s just the opposite side of what I do now, but the experience needed for the positions is different.

      1. Em from CT*

        I don’t know commercial contracting, but I will say that increasingly, more and more jurisdictions are struggling to hire qualified procurement staff, so they are more likely to be willing to train on the job. So it might be worth seeing what positions are out there.

        I don’t know where you’re located, but I’d suggest looking especially in jurisdictions that have begun using procurement strategically to meet their community’s goals. What I mean by that is–in some places, procurement is still seen as this very compliance-oriented thing where it’s all about checking off requirements and gathering the right forms. But some places now are beginning to understand that government purchasing has significant power to influence markets. So look for places that, for example, have released a strategic procurement plan or strategic purchasing plan; or places that are using procurement to direct business to minority- or women-owned vendors; or places that have made explicit commitments regarding (for example) sustainability in purchasing. These communities are more likely to have been thoughtful about what kind of culture they’re trying to create among procurement staff, and therefore what kind of hiring requirements they’re looking for and what kind of training they’re willing to provide.

    2. Aurion*

      Ooh, I’m in procurement for a small business for just under a decade (so, definitely less rigorous procedures) and am super curious about what’s required to switch to a more rigorous position. For example, a lot of public service applications require SCMP (supply chain management professional) designation in my area (not sure if other countries call it something else); is there something in those certifications that can’t be learned on the job, given my current experience? Any other suggestions as to how to make a switch over to a bigger outfit?

  211. Library IT*

    I am a systems librarian and part of an IT team in an academic library. I am really good at translating between IT people and non-IT people at any level. And vice versa. If you need help trying to get the info between tech and non-tech people, I’m your person!

    I am also really good at writing helpdesk/support/vendor tickets.

  212. Em from CT*

    Oh, and: as someone very recently diagnosed with ADHD as a woman in my 40s: I’m happy to talk about what’s worked for me in terms of setting up systems for task & deadline management, executive function, etc.

    1. not applicable*

      This is something I’m extremely interested in! I have a couple of things that I’m still trying out to see if they work both at home and at my job, but I still struggle greatly with setting up systems that I can stick with. Do you have one that works across your personal and professional lives or different ones for each? What are some of your tips for sticking to things that you try to do?

      1. constant_craving*

        For me (also have ADHD, and study ADHD professionally):

        Todoist. It’s effective enough to track what I need to track but simple enough. It also I use the free version. I keep everything, home and school/work there (when treating ADHD, we strongly recommend one system rather than divided systems for home and work).

    2. Jules the First*

      Yes please! Tricks for tracking a to do list without having to dump everything repeatedly or get overwhelmed (no way I can pick three priorities – my to do list will extend into eternity if I can only do three things a day) and/or ideas for breaking the paralysis that prevents me from starting anything or getting distracted scrolling reels all day.

    3. Sapientia*

      Would you be comfortable sharing what made you decide to pursue a formal diagnosis and how you went about it?
      I have recently considered that some symptoms of ADHD might fit me, but I also know that reading about any kind of medical condition tends to make people think that they might have it.

      1. Fluff*

        Not OP – also woman, recently diagnosed ADHD 1.5 years ago. Totally surprised.

        1. I was amazing during COVID professionally (hospital work)- my brain planned for all sorts of contingencies and built systems to handle the surges and all. My brain was immediately planning for all contingencies and possible out comes and contingencies for those outcomes. Algorithms for treatment, running out of stuff, violent patients, changing treatment, sick team mates, violent other people, cold storage, surges, ventilators, logistics, remote stuff, all that stuff – I could plan. They called me Batman at work.
        2. My kid got diagnosed. I started doing some of her occupational therapy tricks and like them.
        3. Someone at work made a comment “like mom like kid.” And they laughed and laughed when I was confused. In a good way, they meant well.
        4. I am the driver of the struggle bus, despite constantly trying and learning to organize, harness my brain etc. I was great for COVID and TOTALLY CRAP for family and life outside of work. I was running algorithms for everything in my life like being in a restaurant, having conversations, analyzing every part of my environment and all the next steps and outcomes.
        5. I started to realize that some things I do strangely well. Those same patterns I can do almost instantaneously can take others weeks or months. I came off arrogant because I was so convinced everyone did stuff better and I was so impatient with them. Why can’t they see the obvious? Because it is not obvious to them and their brains do not naturally work that way. My brain has different connections.
        6. NT easy stuff was hard – no matter how much I tried to get better. I had habits which I did not recognize and many other people do not need. For example, I do not feel time – so I have clocks and consider myself naked if my watch is not on my wrist. Before my diagnosis, I would have said “I am great with time.” Nope. I have good time tools. I love pens (all of them, fountain pens, etc.) because I visually like to write / draw and taking notes keeps by brain in the now. I interrupt people – even when I tried not too. I came up with tricks like counting after commas or sentences to figure out if someone was done talking. I started to listen for times when something that bothered me tended not to bother most people (fans going and lights anyone? Shirt tags? Buzzing lights? TV’s on in background? out of tune?)
        6. Constant drive to improve. Realizing that I am doing a version of the same thing over and over: self help book, do exercises, try, fail, do organization class, try, fail, punish self, etc. I turn anything into a “Fluff’s improvement of the self.” Even a vacation.

        At first I was really sad to learn that no matter how hard I work I was not going to be able to do X. Now I am learning that NT methods are not for my brain. Even with figuring out the ADHD, now I have to work at learning the skills that work with my brain. That is hard and now hopeful.

        Plus I am learning about my brain’s strengths. They are there. And I did not believe it.

  213. A Marketer*

    I work in social media marketing, mostly for small businesses in wellness, food, and travel. I’m happy to answer questions or share tips, let me know what you need help with!

    1. No Social Media Shopper*

      Tangentially related, but do you feel like social media marketing has become so huge and so much the norm that SEO is no longer prioritized? The reason for my curiosity is I am a non-user of social media. I have no interest (and I’m not old LOL). I understand it’s the way of the world for most, but there must be a decent swath of us out there that would rather do something, ANYTHING, else than doom scroll Instagram or lose hours on TikTok, etc. I had no idea how many products/companies I had NO IDEA about because I’m not on social media. I’m getting married soon and struggled so much to find certain things (ie: unique dress!) via Google shopping. However, when I enlisted the help of a social media using friend she was suddenly flooded with ads for websites selling exactly what I wanted that I could NOT find by Googling. Is there just no budget for both if you’re not a massive company? Am I just a unicorn and there’s no reason to bother to advertise outside of social media?

  214. AnotherSarah*

    I’m pretty good at giving academic presentations/presentations to academics!! Writing it, the public speaking side, slides…any takers?

    1. ferrina*

      How do you find opportunities to give presentations? Are there specific websites where you find opportunities, or are you asked to present?

      1. AnotherSarah*

        I tend to get asked! I’m a professor, so I have a network who knows my work. Sometimes someone will ask me to give a presentation at their university or related community group, stuff like that. I also sometimes advertise if I’m going to be somewhere for a while and am available to lecture. (Usually I’ll just post something like that on social media.)

  215. Garblesnark*

    Ooh – this varies state to state, but I am a notary and happy to answer questions about that.

    1. I edit everything*

      I have always wondered about the training for that, how to become a notary, etc. It seems like kind of a random, fun thing.

      1. Garblesnark*

        I took an online course and then an online test! Approved course and test providers will be available on your secretary of state’s website. You do also have to pass a background check and promise not to overthrow the government.

      2. Wellwhat*

        Some states don’t require any training at all, mine (Georgia) didn’t. You can google your state and notary requirements–many have their notary manual online with the qualifications and application information. In my state I could notarize for any county within the state but my commission was tied to my county of residence. I had to resign my commission when I moved to a different county and reapply in that county. Where I worked, there were some forms that new employees needed notarized so my department paid for my application fee and supplies for me so we could notarize it for them but there was no reason why I couldn’t also notarize things outside of work since it wasn’t going to cost them any additional money. It wouldn’t have offset the cost for me otherwise. GA allowed you to charge $2/notarial act. At the time, I think the fee was like $50 and the stamp was around $20. I was not required to be bonded. That probably varies by state though. It had to be renewed every year (the renewal fee was a little less).

        As a notary, you’re not processing “things” it’s more like you’re certifying that whatever was done (a signature on a document, an affidavit, attestation, etc.) was done by that person. Confirming that you checked proper identification, that they understood what they were doing (weren’t drunk or impaired in some way), weren’t under duress.

  217. DMLOKC*

    I have a lot of success getting invoices on federal contracts paid in 30 days or less. Our AR is 28 days and has been for years. This may not work for every business, but it’s worked, in different businesses, for me for over 25 years.

  218. AnotherSarah*

    Anyone make a great CV-to-resume switch? I’m a humanities professor, with typical humanities academic experience. I’ve read all the guides and am working on it, but any brilliant tips that I might not find other places?

    1. ferrina*

      Two tips:
      1. Write the accomplishments bullets as a marketing plug. You are sharing information in the best way. For less quantifiable accomplishments, this can get tricky because it feels like bragging. Sometimes I have a glass of wine to help me write the first draft, so I can get into a more swaggery mood. (always edit later)
      2. Keeps a long master resume that is similar to a CV, just for reference. I like to have my long-form 5-page resume, then cut it down to 2 pages for each job application. This helps you keep the most relevant bullet points for each job you apply to.

  220. ldub*

    Has anyone done a career pivot from advancement/fundraising/alumni relations to corporate or another field? Would love advice on how to frame transferrable skills and what roles to look for. Thank you!

    1. anywhere but here*

      I have not, but I’ll keep an eye on this thread because I am looking to make a similar move. :)

    2. ArtsNerd*

      There is a TON of overlap between fundraising and marketing/communications skills and donor relations has SO much in common with sales. (I come from a nonprofit marketing background.)

    3. Another Michael*

      There are so many! Communication stuff like dealing with upset constituents, customer service, making a case for support can all be good transferrable skills. If you were doing frontline work you should definitely spend some time thinking about how those metrics can be relevant to the jobs your applying for: prospect visit numbers, dollars raised, how you’ve upgraded gifts, etc. are all very relevant to sales roles, but are also very concrete demonstrations of your work output. If you do events based work that can lead into attention to detail, planning and project management, etc.

  221. Healthcare Manager*

    I’m a super organised person so can give organisation tips, and tips for how to write emails for busy people, especially the busy people that you know don’t read every email they get.

    1. ferrina*

      Question about physical organization- how do you figure out where things should go in your living space? I have ADHD, and while sometimes I can become hyper-organized, it’s a struggle on day-to-day basis.

      1. Healthcare Manager*

        Generally it’s by allocating everything a ‘home’ and forcing myself to put it back there, even if it means doing things take longer. If I put something down and it’s not it’s ‘home’ then I’ll forget it/lose it.

        Some things have many ‘homes’. That way when I’m looking for something I know I’ve only gotta check a few places.

        I don’t trust my memory, I trust my behavioural instincts/systems once the habits engrained.

  222. Cookie Lady*

    I’ve been a Girl Scout for 39 years (since I was 6), 22 of those years were spent as a full-time staff member. About 14 of those years specifically involved running the cookie program. So if you’ve ever wondered how the cookie sale works, I’m your girl (scout). ;) Or if you have questions about GS in general, I’m happy to answer, with the caveat that can be a lot of difference from one Council to the next.

    1. ferrina*

      My kid is about to start Girl Scouts, and I know literally nothing about it.
      -What does the time commitment look like?
      -What will they do?
      -My kid disengages quickly if she’s not interested in a topic; is that going to be a potential issue?
      -How do I, as a parent, support GS when I don’t have the time to really do anything?

      1. ferrina*

        Also- is GS open to boys now? I think I heard murmurings about that possibly happening a while back, but never actually heard the conclusion.

      2. Colette*

        I’m not in the US, but to answer your last question from my perspective:
        – drop off and pick up your child on time
        – fill out any paperwork you need to fill out without someone needing to chase you.
        – pay by the deadline
        – be conscious that what’s good for you is not necessarily what’s good for the leader – it may be convenient for you to ask a complicated question at the start of a meeting, but the leader may be responsible for organizing 20 kids at that point.

      3. Cookie Lady*

        So your first two questions are hard to answer because it honestly depends on the troop. For the time part, some troops meet weekly, some every other week, some once a month. Some try to have lots of ‘extras’ like field trips, camping, etc. A lot of that will be dependent on the troop, their age, the leadership team and their experience level with GS.
        For activities, GS is meant to be girl-led. Obviously, this is going to look different for kindergarten Daisies vs middle school Cadettes, but the idea is that the girls get to have a voice in what they do. Some troops do a little of everything. Some are totally outdoor oriented. Some are artsy, some are primarily STEM based. For this reason, it’s okay if the first troop you try doesn’t fit. I was in 4 different troops in my 12 years as a girl and the membership changed pretty much every year even when I stayed in a troop. The blessing and the curse of Girl Scouts is that a lot of it is open-ended. If you have familiarity with Boy Scouts, it’s very different from their rank system, which had a series of things you must check off a list to keep moving through the program. Girl Scouts operates on more of “here are the options – take what works and don’t worry about what doesn’t” kind of model.
        So hopefully, if your kid is in the right troop for her, the engagement won’t be an issue.
        And yes to everything Colette said. Be conscious that troop leadership is entirely volunteer and they probably have lots going on too. Respect their time and if there are little things you can fit in, try to do them. Maybe bring snack if the troop does that or drive on an outing. My mom worked 3 or 4 part time jobs when I was a kid and still managed to lead my troop for a lot of years and sometimes she had plenty of help and sometimes she literally had to make a schedule for the other parents and assign them a meeting to just be present for that hour because she wasn’t supposed to be the only adult there with 12 seventh graders.
        As for boys, no. Girl Scouts remains a girl-only organization. The Boy Scouts have let girls join, which has caused some confusion because people think we’re the same org in the first place but we’re not. Our founders were friends and the idea for GS came from observing the start of BS. But beyond that we are two totally separate entities and always have been.
        That being said, some Councils have expanded their definition of girl to include trans girls, non binary youth and trans boys who want to remain in Girl Scouts. This varies widely by Council – there are 111 of them in the US (which includes DC & PR) plus USA Girl Scouts Overseas for children of military, ambassadors, diplomats, etc. As an example, GS of Western Washington, the Seattle council, has been at the forefront of inclusivity for at least a decade – you may remember a news story where they returned a substantial monetary gift to the donor, because of anti trans stipulations put on the donation. My Council, in the southern US, doesn’t have a formal policy or statement at this time – they respond on a case-by-case basis, of which I’m only aware of a handful. So that’s where we’re at on that.

      4. Cookie Lady*

        Oh man. I wrote a whole big reply and I think the internet ate it. I will try again when I get home if it hasn’t shown up!

    2. Colette*

      I’ve been in Girl Guides (in Canada) for a similar length of time (but I took a couple of breaks as an adult) if you want to exchange info. :)

      1. Cookie Lady*

        That would be cool! My mom was actually a Guide for her last year of high school in the 70s, due to having to move to Canada then for her dad’s job.We still have some family up there.
        Y’all’s thin mints are so much better than either of the US bakers – my cousin has hooked me up a couple times.

    3. A Genuine Scientician*

      I worry that this is going to read as snarky, but please take it at face value:

      I’ve often heard that the great thing about the GS cookie sales is that they teach the scouts to be self-led and entrepreneurial. My experience as an outsider is that a lot of parents are the ones asking their networks to buy cookies, and only a subset of the scouts go set up tables at grocery stores or the like. And these days virtually no one goes door to door (which is not a bad thing, just an observation). I absolutely get the fund-raising part of it — quality programs take money, and they’re not backed by a government or such — but am I missing something about how these sales teach the kids something other than that well-off and well-connected parents make life easier?

      1. Cookie Lady*

        No snark inferred – I totally get that the cookie program looks INSANE from the outside. (And honestly sometimes from the inside too!)
        So yeah. There are always going to be parents who just do things for their kids. And that sucks. These parents are totally missing the point of putting your kid in a program like Girl Scouts.
        But, especially in the last 10 years or so, as an organization we have really tried to emphasize the program aspect and not just the fundraising piece. We recognize that adults are going to be involved in the sales but in training we encourage girl participation in SOME way. If the parent takes the order form to work, they bring it back home and have the girl look at the orders, pull the packages, bag them up, write thank you notes, etc. If the workplace allows visitors, they have the girl come in one day to deliver in person. If it’s a post on social media, make it a video pitch. I have one friend who writes out, verbatim, what her daughter wants to say about the cookies. I have another friend with 3 daughters who has each make a video explaining why you should purchase from them and not their sisters. There’s so much creativity out there.
        And sure, some parents are going to ignore this. But a lot more are actually going to do it and put the onus on their kid to sell the cookies. Last summer we took our top sellers on a weekend trip (they had to sell at least 3000 packages to qualify) – these are some AMAZING young people. Smart, articulate, full of ideas – between the ages of 11 and 17 and I can’t wait to see where they are 10 years from now. Yes, they all have very involved, enthusiastic parents but it’s clear to me that these kids are motivated on their own. And our top-selling troops are consistently troops who are either in the poorest parts of our big city areas or in our very rural, also very poor areas. They are kids who understand that mom & dad may not have the money or connections to make things happen for them but by standing at a cookie booth for a few weekends at Walmart or another grocery store, they can make things happen for themselves. It’s really empowering.
        And that’s the other piece of the cookie program – the troops who embrace the program part of it, who work on the money management and the business ethics and the people skills aspects of it, and have their girls earn the cookie badges and entrepreneurship pins and really involve the girls in the plans for the year and let them make decisions about what to do with their money are the ones who are most successful.
        So no, not every girl is going to get what we hope they will get out of it. But a lot still do.

  223. WellRed*

    Can someone recommend an inexpensive graph program for print publication? When we switched from Mac based, I had to start making graphs in excel. They are dull in every way. Our publishing software Is InDesign.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      I’m sure there are far, far better options but if you’re comfortable working with illustrator you can just trace over the excel chart to pretty it up.

  224. ruthG*

    alongside my day job, I am a babywearing consultant – an expert in all things slings wraps and carriers, all the way from Preemies to pre-K. UK based

    1. HannahS*

      I problems with my joins, and after by daughter was born I couldn’t use a carrier much because even the ergobaby omni but too much strain on my lower back–I wasn’t sure that the back/waist strap was really helpful. What would you recommend for someone who needs the weight distributed as evenly as possible?

      1. HannahS*

        Goodness I can’t spell today. I have problems with my *joints* and the carrier *put* too much strain on my low back.

        1. ruthG*

          The Omni is a bit of a Marmite carrier – people either love it or hate it. it’s also one that I regularly see worn in a way that can exeracerbate back pain – with baby too low and too loose. so often it can be something that we can trouble shoot. also, depending on the age of your little one, I would suggest a back carry Vs forward facing as this will distribute the weight better.

          for a versatile option which can distribute little one’s weight to different parts of your body as needed, you can try a woven wrap – a definite learning curve to this one though.

          1. ruthG*

            and yes, the built in “lumbar support” doesn’t do much for most of us! it’s pretty much the only carrier that has this which to me is a pretty sure sign that if doesn’t work !

    2. Ali + Nino*

      Hello! someone gave me a Moby Classic. wrap which I used to varying degrees with my kids. Two questions:

      1. I never felt like I could get the legs up high enough, to where the instructions said they would be. my baby’s legs wouldn’t be in a 90 degree angle if this makes sense. what was I doing wrong?

      2. Any baby carrier (style or brand) you recommend for very short women? Does it make a difference?

      1. ruthG*

        the moby wrap is a one way stretchy wrap which means it can be really tricky to get the right level of tightness. even if you get the legs in the right position, the slack moves over time and the legs can drop. top tips are to do the pelvic tuck (see a video by carrying matters on YouTube) then make sure both passes if fabric are already from knee pit to knee pit, and shoulder to shoulder. if you do have another baby, I would suggest getting a two way stretchy wrap – they tend to be lighter and far easier for use!

        for petite mums, I often suggest an option which has a minimal waistband such as a Meh Dai or Instegra/Kahubaby/Mamaruga Zensling. Moving to a back carry once baby is sitting is also a great move.

        1. ruthG*

          Integra that should have said! generally I would avoid carriers with wide, firm wristbands such as Ergobaby and Tula

          Hope this helps!

  225. Coffee and Plants*

    Hi all! I’m oddly good with Word, so I’m happy to answer any Word questions.

    1. nnn*

      The one thing I want to do in Word that is still eluding me: Select all, including textboxes, including headers and footers and watermark, in a single click or keyboard shortcut.

      No matter how hard I try, Word seems convinced that I can’t possibly really mean everything!

      1. hodie-hi*

        CTRL+A should get you most of the way there. It may not include headers, footers, watermarks, but IMH that’s not a big deal to go back and grab them.

      2. Coffee and Plants*

        Hmm. I agree with hodie-hi, but are you trying to copy and paste everything? You can try clicking within the header and hitting CTRL + SHIFT + Down arrow, but that might just highlight what’s in the header. You may have to handle the header/footer separately.

    2. Pocket Mouse*

      Is there a secret way to make tables not-awful to work with in Word? Thinking about margins vs. column width debacles, trying to delete the contents of multiple cells without deleting the whole cell/row, better control of indents within cells, etc.

      1. Coffee and Plants*

        Tables are a huge pain in Word! For width issues, I find that changing the width/height manually in the table tabs the easiest thing to do. For deleting, you can click within the cells where you want to get rid of the content and do CTRL + SHIFT + direction you want to go and hit delete, and that should take care of the content but not the cells themselves.

  226. anonymouse*

    I have a side gig doing social media for a small online business. I have over a thousand followers but Instagram apparently only shows my posts to less than a hundred of my followers even on the best days when I have been posting regularly. Is there anything that can be done about this? I’m not sure why they think people follow accounts if it isn’t to actually see the posts from the accounts they follow, it’s quite frustrating.

  227. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

    Medical coder of 20 years – hospital outpatient, including emergency rooms.

    1. anon_sighing*

      My personal gripe from years ago that shouldn’t be – the context is that this was a research, so patient were never billed (ugh, they weren’t SUPPOSED to be, at least, but ugh…another gripe).

      How can the same procedure be coded differently every time?

      My gripe was: It was always the right procedure (e.g., always coded as a colonoscopy in general) but a different type than what was done at the research visit (e.g., sometimes it’s coded as a biopsy vs sometimes as a sample collection vs sometimes as a simple inspection, etc). Sometimes the bill would come out higher and sometimes lower — we debated putting in “THIS IS THE CPT CODE FOR THIS PROCEDURE!” at the top but then the MD basically said ‘screw it’ at one point and said ‘if they wanna undercharge us, whatever, but complain when they overcharge.’

  228. ACM*

    I work in a bookstore. Aside from recs for people looking for a new series, I am bizarrely good at spotting good non-fiction instructional books–whether it’s for baking, art, sewing, or whatever. The really good stuff has a certain straightforward and no-nonsense presentation that you catch the vibe of once you know to look for it. I have examples.

    1. ferrina*

      Would love a rec for my kid! My kid is 8yo and looooooves Dogman. He’s a bit of a reluctant reader, in that he’s reluctant to read but he’s pretty decent at it (I dont’ think he knows how good he is).
      Suggestions?

      1. ACM*

        I suggest Dragonbreath by Ursula Vernon–they’re mixed text and comic book format, they’re fun, they’re interesting, and if he likes one there’s twelve of them. They’re about a kid dragon named Danny and his misadventures–as well as his ability to make the city bus system suddenly have stops for the Sargasso Sea and mythological Japan.

        Theres also Bunnicula–an older series by James Howe. It’s from the 70s. It’s a family dog telling how his family adopted a vampire bunny rabbit. They start finding vegetables with all the juice sucked out of them until they turned white. The cat thinks there’s unholy evil afoot and starts stabbing toothpicks into them to make sure they don’t rise from the compost heap and plotting the demise of the rabbit. Harold the Dog is more chill and concedes Bunnicula might be a vampire, but if he is, he’s not actually all that dangerous.

        1. ferrina*

          We read the Hamster Princess series by Ursula Vernon and loved it! I’ll keep an eye out for Dragonbreath.

      1. ACM*

        Baking– The King Arthur Baking Company’s All-Purpose Baker’s Companion.
        Google it. Look at that cover. Despite the mouthful of the title, the cover is fairly unostentatious. It’s not cutesy. Inside, it’s the same–you have a section for color photographs but not everything is there. It’s got notes about the chemistry of baking, too, how different things alter textures and why. It’s wonderful. Try the apple cake recipe. It’s amazing–you put almost no liquid into the dough and instead chop apples into it and all the liquid needed to make it a cake coming out of the apples in the oven.

        Art–Figure Drawing for All It’s Worth, by Andrew Loomis.
        I was looking for an art reference book and saw this one was still in print despite originally being published in the 40s. That gave me pause, so I investigated. Turns out Andrew Loomis was like THE ad art guy for decades, and the book is full of practical, well-drawn how-to on the human figure. Posture, muscles, bones, figures. If you’re interested in anatomy for artists, he’s great.

        Sewing–Reader’s Digest Complete Guide to Sewing. Sounds off the wall, but RD made a killer sewing book. There’s a weird phenomenon where some company will do a book for something they’re only tangentially associated with; the King Arthur Flour company did a baking book, Lincoln Electric made THE welding reference book, and Reader’s Digest did an amazing sewing book.

        1. ACM*

          The King Arthur baking book has a section for color photographs but they’re not all throughout the book, I mean.

    3. Jules the First*

      Ooh please! Need a new series but my reading habits are so eclectic I struggle! Loved Kelley Armstrong’s Women of the Otherworld series, as well as Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Milhone books. Big fan of Dorothy Gilman’s Mrs Pollifax series, and also the Rivers of London books. Outlander is hit and miss (I like Diana, but have to be in the mood); enjoy some of Deborah Harkness but not others. Ideas?

      2. ferrina*

        Mrs. Pollifax is delightful! I love that series!

        Maybe try the The Frangipani Tree (Crown Colony Series) by Ovida Yu. It’s a mystery, but like Mrs. Pollifax, brings in political elements but from a mid/ground level (not high level political intrigue). Su Lin is a young woman, but like Mrs. Pollifax decides that she would like to guide her own life, and tends to solve things her own way and give her supervisor a heart attack. It’s also a really interesting look at Singapore in the 1930s, which is a part of history I knew absolutely nothing about before I read the series.

      3. ACM*

        I love Rivers of London!

        Okay, to keep on that urban fantasy vibe: You may enjoy Benedict Jacka’s Alex Verus series. Verus is a diviner, he sees the future–or, rather, he sees possible outcomes. They’re darker and less whimsical than Rivers of London, so fair warning there.

        Looking at this, have you ever read T. Kingfisher’s books? She does fantasy, horror, fantasy romance. She’s got a knack for curious characters who try to understand the world, like Peter Grant and his attempts to understand what’s going on with magic and vestigia.

  229. Theater Pro*

    I’m a box office manager. I’m very good at getting free or discounted tickets to quality theater. Broadway and regional!

    1. I saw >100 shows in 2023*

      Oh, I would love any tips! I see a LOT of theater—I got the taste for it in London, where I would often go two or three times per week to everything from big Barbican productions to pub theatre. (I have many opinions on London venues and shows. I will see literally anything the Bush Theatre puts on.)
      I’ve recently relocated to the midwest USA. I do occasional Broadway trips (loved Merrily!), and try to make a point of seeing at least one regional theater show wherever I travel…but it’s so, so expensive here. My local community theater tickets start at $45 and I just can’t figure out how to see more without completely blowing my budget.

  230. Structural Engineer*

    I can answer questions about the design and construction of buildings, as well as more general questions about what it’s like to work in this industry! For instance: Is my 100-year-old apartment unit going to be safe in an earthquake? (Depends on where, when, and how it was built.) Is it ok to knock down this wall for my remodel? (Depends on the wall and what it’s doing.)

    1. LaurCha*

      I watch far too many youtube channels where expat Brits fix up chateaux and whatnot in rural France. It seems like they’re all just knocking down walls willy-nilly without checking with an engineer! I suppose they have some kind of knowledge about what’s load-bearing and what’s not, but I find it nerve-wracking.

      Anyway, are there structural engineers who will consult on small domestic projects?

      1. Structural Engineer*

        It’s pretty easy to tell whether a wall is load bearing if you know what to look for! One glance at the wall-to-floor connection should do it, plus a peek at the original drawings if necessary.

        Will structural engineers consult on small domestic projects: Typically, no. Small residential projects on the scale of single-family homes are usually not profitable enough to attract a structural engineering firm. Conceivably, you could find a freelancer or private consultant who is willing to take it on as an individual. That said, you don’t necessarily need the expertise of a licensed engineer for a residential project. Residential building codes are different from commercial building codes in that they are very specific about telling you how to assemble a house. Anyone can follow the directions if they know how to read building codes and can do basic load path calculations, like a contractor or architect. (Obtaining a construction permit, on the other hand, can get more complicated.)

    2. ferrina*

      1. How hard is it to replace a doorframe?

      2. Replacing a garage roof- what considerations are there? How hard is that?

      1. Structural Engineer*

        1. Depends on the doorframe: where is it, what material it and the building are made of (concrete/steel/wood/masonry?), how much of it is getting replaced (just the trim? Studs? Header?).
        2. Same considerations as above. How hard it will be depends on the specifics of what’s happening: replacing some asphalt shingle, for instance, will be a lot easier than replacing a bunch of rotted joists.

    3. anon in uk*

      The corridors in my building (England) all smell awful and I suspect it’s carpet rot. If so, is that something dangerous? Is it something I should be cornering my landlords over?

      1. Structural Engineer*

        Maybe. A moldy carpet by itself is nothing to be worried about, structurally speaking. But still unhealthy and worth getting a landlord to replace! What could get concerning is if it’s an indicator of excess moisture getting trapped in the floor itself. Typical types of floors are concrete slab with concrete framing, concrete slab with steel framing, or plywood on top of wood framing. If it’s either of the 2 concrete options, a little dampness on top is fine. Gross maybe, but structurally safe as long as it’s not from an embedded pipe leaking and not from water from the soil below seeping upwards (both of which could lead to corrosion). If it’s plywood on top of wood framing, excess moisture can lead to rot, which if left unchecked, can cause enough degradation to make the floor structurally unsound.

  231. ArlynPage*

    I’m a Product Manager and I’m great at mapping user journeys/workflows. I’m also good at presenting technical information. I have helped friends write cover letters too, and realized that some people have a hard time talking up their own expertise and enthusiasm for work opportunities.

    But I am TERRIBLE at time management and find myself sometimes freezing up at my desk and doing nothing instead of starting on projects, even if I am excited about doing them!! I need help with that!

    1. Not Your Mother*

      I use a five minute rule to start things. I just tell my brain, “we only have to work on this for five minutes and then we can get a snack/take a walk/run away into the forest never to be seen again/whatever.”

      Most of the time, those five minutes are enough to get me into a flow and I just keep working on the thing, or at least get it to a point that will be easier to pick up. Sometimes, though, I’ll finish the five minutes, and then my brain says, “Excuse me, that was enough and you promised me a snack/walk/whatever.” So we do that and try again later.

      It’s kind of like how some painters will paint their canvas orange or something before they start the actual painting so they aren’t just staring at a blank white canvas and trying to make it into something. Five minutes of something is easy to commit to and usually is enough to kick start the work.

    2. Mad Harry Crewe*

      Similar to the 5 minute rule – what is the smallest step you can take towards starting the thing? No, smaller. Really small. Can you open the file? Just open it, that’s all you have to do right now. Can you read the email? Don’t try to respond, don’t take any notes, don’t do anything else – just read it once through.

    3. Sapientia*

      What are your best tips on starting to map a workflow? I have no experience with mapping, only with describing through text.
      I would love to create a clearer overview of a complex workflow by visualising it, but struggle with where to start. And how do I include details?
      Any recommendations for books/tutorials/learning material would be greatly appreciated, too.

  232. Fresh Glass*

    How can you get noticed/promote your projects when you find it obnoxious to do so? I find that I often miss credit for things I have done because I am not good at being “out there” about my projects.

    I know some of this is just me keeping my head down, but how do you gracefully say “hey look at my awesome work!”.

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      The elevator pitch! when someone asks how things are going, take the opportunity to say, “it’s going well! we just finished up the Really Cool Thing which will make the workplace 40% cooler!” you get to talk about your work without feeling smarmy about it.

  233. Stacy Fakename*

    Wardrobe/costumer in regional theatre here! A big part of my job is clothing maintenance, so I can answer all your laundry and stain removal questions!

    1. BlueKat*

      I have a couple of t-shirts/polo shirts with prominent oil stains that I haven’t been able to remove, and it’s been a while since the stains appeared. Do I have any chance of removing the stains?

      (Also, love the username, fellow D20 enjoyer!)

      1. LaurCha*

        FOLLOWING because omg. I’m not THAT messy an eater, but when there is olive oil involved? Spots down my front. I keep having to retire shirts that I quite like and are relatively new.

      2. Stacy Fakename*

        It is possible, though may take some repetitions. For oil stains that are old, have been washed and dried already, or are generally stubborn: basic blue dawn dish soap and oxyclean powder are my two favs. Start with the dawn, full strength; massage it in to the stain with a clean rag on either side (in general, you want to give stains some new fabric to adhere to). Rinse the soap out, then put the whole shirt in a bucket of room temp water with a generous scoop of oxyclean dissolved in. Leave it there for at least 24 hours. Time is the ticket for set in stains! Wash normally, hang to dry, and repeat the dawn and oxy soak if needed.

        For fresh stains, start by blotting the stain (a clean rag on either side of the stain, massage it to transfer the oil into the rag. Try sprinkling some baking soda on the stain for extra oil removal. Then go for the Dawn and oxy as above! Also, don’t use heat–ie, a dryer–to dry the shirt until you’ve gotten all the stain out.

        Dish soap is generally designed to separate oils from the surfaces they’ve adhered to, so while many dish soaps work for stain removal, I’ve found that the original blue Dawn really is the best.

        2. Sapientia*

          Thank you so much! I will definitely try this (but with other dish soap, I don’t think Dawn is available here).

          1. Stacy Fakename*

            For dish soap, the ideal is one that mentioned grease removal in some way. A lot of “natural” and “green” washing liquids don’t actually include any de-greasing agent and are more similar to hand soap. Not bad cleaners in general, but the oil-removal aspect is what you really want!

    2. ferrina*

      I don’t know if this is in your wheelhouse, but how do you sustainably dispose of irreparable clothes?

      Also, love your name!

      2. Stacy Fakename*

        Ooof, that’s a hard one, and not entirely my wheelhouse. There’s not really a good answer for clothing recycling, as many “recycling” programs are actually just “pick out a few reusable/shred-able things and then trash the rest” programs. There are a couple hosiery recycling programs that seem decent. My general advice is probably in line with what you’re doing already: mend, donate, and once a thing is no longer wearable, turn it into rags for cleaning and gardening. I wish I could give you a more helpful answer!

      1. Stacy Fakename*

        Depends on the kind of ring! Assuming you mean the yellow/grey staining around the inside of a collared shirt (which is generally the result of sweat, skin, soap/lotion/shampoo/hair product build up), friction and soap are your friend. You can use my favorite original blue Dawn dish soap, or a stain remover spray like Shout if you have it. Either way, add your cleaning product to the dry shirt, and scrub vigorously. My go-to scrub tool is an old toothbrush. Let the product sit for at least an hour once you’ve scrubbed (double check your stain remover to make sure it doesn’t say to wash out immediately), then wash the shirt(s) on a cold regular cycle. You might need to repeat the process a couple times! For musicals with collared shirts, we do the spray and scrub (without the letting it sit part) every single time we wash shirts, and it helps keep the ring at bay.

        1. Another Michael*

          This is amazing – thank you! I’ve already been using original blue Dawn, but not sufficient friction or sitting!

  234. HannahS*

    Email organization. I have multiple personal and professional email accounts that I have to stay on top of and I find it really hard. Usually it’s a mix of things that can be ignored, things that need to be addressed but not right now, and things that need to be addressed right now (I’m usually good with those.) Organized people, how do you do it?

    1. TechWorker*

      Personally I don’t try to use email to manage this and instead use some project management tool, for me that’s Trello. So if I can respond to an email immediately, I will, if not it gets a Trello task referencing the email subject. I can then prioritise that task like any other, add a deadline etc.

    2. Sapientia*

      I like working with labels or categories and use them for types of email like “waiting for”, “read later” and/or for certain topics. A lot of email programs also have reminders that you can put on emails. I usually go through all new emails quickly to categorise them, answering some on the fly. The second step is to look at all emails that are categorised as a to do, find the ones I want to answer that day and of course marking the answered ones as done.

      More generally speaking, I read or watched some examples of how other people do it in the PKM (personal knowledge management) and productivity community, then tried it out for myself. I still tweak my system when I start to find certain parts tedious or find a new interesting method.

  235. BlueKat*

    I have a knack for proofreading! If anyone has questions about that, I can see if I have anything helpful to say.

    I’d love to hear advice from people who started to make friends at work after they’d already been in the job for a while (e.g. almost a year).

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      I got in with a group at work that had come over together from a previous workplace. I’d already been there for a year and a half, but they invited me to an exercise class and I went. So being open to those opportunities worked out well for me.

    1. Sapientia*

      Oh, how interesting! I am in German civil service and rather curious how it is structured in Finland. Is there centralised testing involved? Do civil servants have a special kind of employment status (Germany has “Beamte”, but not very government employee is one)? Are civil servants ever layed off or fired or are they pretty much fixed for life?

  237. Pretty as a Princess*

    I am a director (& thereby hiring manager) at a civilian organization where we often hire people out of the federal civil service or transitioning out of the military.

    I am an expert at helping you translate your USA-Jobs horrible format resume (the format is horrible, not your resume) into one that is usable by a civilian hiring manager in a non-government organization.

    This includes being able to tell you what information to LEAVE OUT – that is a substantive part of it but not the only part. People who hire where I work understand how these formats work and we are used to them, but they do a tremendous disservice really to candidates when applying to positions further away/less familiar with the government – in particular the Department of Defense. I can also help you translate DoD-speak on a resume into good civilian equivalent.

    (I am also about to enter into 3 hours of meetings, but if there are questions for me please be patient and I will happily help later today!)

  238. SuprisinglyADHD*

    I completed a 3+-year project to organize a house stuffed with 4 generations of stuff, while people still lived there. It included a garage, attic, tool shed, office, and several bedrooms. I can help with advice on planning, how to keep the ongoing project from impacting spaces that are being used, and especially, how to GET RID of stuff. How to decide what’s useful, what’s necessary, what’s worth keeping despite not having a use, methods of disposal, and what to do when a family member isn’t on board with getting rid of stuff.

    1. ferrina*

      HELP ME! I’ve got a house full of stuff. I’m also ADHD, so everything moves in spurts.

      -How do you store things that have sentimental value but won’t get used all the time?
      -How do you know when things have outlived their usefulness? Is there an easy litmus test?
      -Ethically disposing of items- what’s the easiest and most ethical way to dispose of stuff? For example, I’m reluctant to drop clothes at Goodwill because I’ve heard a lot of things will go to landfills. I’m willing to put in a lot of time, but not a ton of time. What are organizations that are good ones?

      1. not applicable*

        I’m also interested in the ethically disposing thing, I know that there are organizations that will ship you a bag that you can ship back to them and they’ll repurpose your stuff for you! But shipping also contributes to the problem, so if someone has a better solution I’d be interested in that!

      2. SuprisinglyADHD*

        First off, I highly recommend the book “Organizing Solutions for People With ADHD” by Susan Pinsky, there’s a lot of useful storage ideas and cleaning tips that cater to the sometimes chaotic energy that comes with ADHD.

        To decide whether or not to keep something, I ask a few questions. When was this last used? How often would it be used if it was accessible? Do I have other similar things I prefer? If you’re unsure, set up a big box for “??I don’t know??” and evaluate when you have more clear space to store things in.

        One thing that helps for things you’re unsure is Pack them up in a box and label whether or not the box has usable stuff to donate or if it would be thrown out. Do NOT itemize whet’s in the box. If you find yourself missing something after a couple of weeks, pull it out of the box. When you can’t remember what you packed in it and aren’t looking to use things in there, either donate or toss it, WITHOUT opening it. It feels really weird but it helped me with the guilt

        My family has the hardest times with books, I got creative with donations because we can’t bring ourselves to trash them and most of the thrift shops etc don’t want a lot. If they’re in great shape you can call around to senior centers and see if they’re looking for a particular type of book. The one by me wanted hardcover large-print fiction, and any audiobooks on CD. The children’s books went to anyone I knew who wanted to pick through for their kids. I also got permission to put some in pristine condition on my library’s Discard rack.

        1. ferrina*

          How often would it be used if it was accessible?

          This is a great question for me! I’ve got some stuff that I love but got buried in a pile and forgotten about or was put somewhere weird where it’s hard to get it. Half the battle is finding the right place so it’s there when I need it, and making those places accessible.
          Thank you!
          For books, I utilize the Little Free Libraries in my neighborhood. Books are one of the few things that I am pretty good about cycling through.

          1. SuprisinglyADHD*

            For making stuff easier to access, I have two main methods.
            Drawers: I got a bunch of baskets for most of the drawers in the house. Small metal ones for utensils and office supplies, various strong plastic ones for tools in the garage, and soft mesh ones for clothes. When someone opens a drawer, it’s easier to just grab the specific things, and putting it away is as simple as “open drawer, drop on top of bin”. I also labeled the outside of some drawers so other people don’t have to open every one to find the thing they want.
            Shelves: Use clear bins so it’s easy to tell what’s in them. If people don’t see something , they’ll forget it’s an option and never use it. I use open-top bins of various sizes for stuff that gets used a lot (eg, pills, seasonings, hair ties, gloves). For projects where there’s a bunch of related supplies, each one has it’s own closed bin, for example all the sketching and coloring stuff is in one bin, so when someone wants to do some drawing they just grab the bin and when they’re done, throw it all back in and slide it on the shelf. Try not to stack more than two bins high, otherwise it’s a hassel to get them down. Don’t sweat the exact spot to punt each one away after use, if it’s hard to get a bin underneath then put it on top.
            Anything you can put in a container is easier to slide out and see what’s in at a glance, especially on deep shelves with lots of small stuff.

      3. SuprisinglyADHD*

        For disposal, you probably have more options than you think.
        First, ask that very important question: is this trash? If it’s in poor condition, stained, chipped, or falling apart, please dispose of it. If it’s in a condition that would give you pause if you were the customer, it’s probably not good enough for other people, unless it’s something Very Expensive or Rare.
        Call your town or county hall, and ask what programs they have for recycling electronics, or other specific types of garbage. Some places will schedule a special pickup for things like furniture, electronics, etc, and may have recycling programs. Otherwise, you’re gonna have to throw it out. Many places make it so hard to “ethically” dispose of things. At some point I accepted that if I donate this, it will be trashed there by a volunteer and if I keep them forever, they’ll be thrown out when I’m (one day) dead, and someone else is cleaning my house. If it’s the only way to make your space usable, you should throw it away. (side note: my ADHD keeps telling me “you can use those old clothes to make a quilt, turn that pile of paper into a sculpture…. Many years of experience taught me that I won’t ever actually DO those projects, just feel guilty every time I look at it. It was oddly freeing to accept that I am free of that responsibility).
        Note: ymmv but if I put a pile of stuff out the day before garbage pickup with a “FREE!”, some or even most of it is gone before the truck comes in the morning. I once scheduled an electronics pickup for a heap of non-functional stuff and it vanished in the hour between me putting it out and the truck arriving.
        Donations: After-school programs, senior centers, youth centers, day cares, and the local library are great places to start, often they can link you with someone in need. Any religious affiliation you support is another good place. Then there’s Thrift Shops, Amvets, Savers (BB-BS), and even antique shops if the item is old and in Great condition.
        List them Online: I used OfferUp, and even EBAY lets you list items as “pick up only”. Ive heard mixed reviews of Facebook Marketplace, people either love it or hate it. I sorted things into categories and listed them as “Free if you take it all”. EG: Woman’s winter clothes size LG, Childrens Fiction Books, Assorted Tools Good condition. That was the catch though, I’m not letting people pick through the boxes or bags, I need it OUT and if you want any the rest is your problem now. (I say that much nicer to people, the best line is “I have no space and I’m late for an appointment, you’ll have to sort it on your own time.”

        1. ferrina*

          I love the idea of “Free if you take it all”- I’ve got a ton of kid clothes that my kids have grown out of and are still in good condition. This could be a great way to get it out of the house!

      4. Mad Harry Crewe*

        A suggestion that I really liked, but have not yet had the opportunity to try out – for stuff you think you’re ready to get rid of, put it in the Going Away Box, and then put that box in the bottom of your closet. Set a reminder for a while (3-6 months), and then go about your day. If you realize you want something “back” that went into the Going Away Box, that’s fine! Go get it out. If you don’t think about any of that stuff until the reminder goes off, it’s probably fine to go for real. Donate without fear.

    2. Car park*

      Omg. Yes please on dealing with people who won’t get rid of stuff (my partner). It’s all special, or can be used one day, or it was used this one time for…

      1. SuprisinglyADHD*

        So, getting rid of objects can be very difficult for some people, for a lot of reasons.
        The “it COULD be useful someday” mentality seems benign but it leads to clutter and extra difficulty finding what you DO use (also I’ve literally never been able to find that “could be useful” object when that need finally does come up). The trick is weighing the someday future convenience against the space to store it. This usually requires difficult conversations, but there are some workarounds. I’ve tackled this in a bunch of different ways. For a few rooms, I got carte blanche to “do whatever you want as long as you don’t tell me”. This worked well for stuff like the entire apartment’s worth of stuff that went into storage after a natural disaster, which got replaced before the original stuff came out of storage. Unless it looked like an heirloom, potentially expensive, or something cherished, I was allowed to donate or trash it without them knowing. That was the easiest for everyone involved, and only worked because they trusted me (and also had replacements for all the important stuff).
        For some rooms, I used the “three box” method (or four or five). One box for definitely trash, one for things that go in THIS room but don’t yet have the space clear, and one for things that go in OTHER rooms so I don’t have to keep wandering the house. This let me sort out (for example) the three adding machines, the pile of identical scissors because we needed to keep buying them when we couldn’t find the others, the dozens of placemats, and other stuff we had excessive multiples of. When we both had time, I worked with the person, collaboratively figuring out how many of a given object were needed, how many we had space to store, which ones were broken or worn to uselessness, and which could be donated. Speaking of…
        Donations are your ally here! A lot of people feel way better about donating the extra somethings rather than discarding them. This is my go to specifically if the object is definitely broken or low-quality. “I have nicer ones but someone is able to use my lesser one” is an easier stair to climb than “this is garbage now”. In this case, you’re avoiding the difficult “throw it out” choice by allowing the thrift store to do so instead. This works even if the person knows it’s likely to be thrown out by the recipient, as long as they’re not the one who has to do so. One potential avenue for nice but unused things is hobby groups. The fishing club will probably love grandpa’s old rods and reels, the craft club will happily use the beginner’s tools for new members to try out, the AV club would enjoy tinkering with those speakers. A lot of people can “pass on” objects much more easily than “getting rid of” them
        The “this object is special” is a different mindset. Look up “ADHD Object Attachment” or “autism object attachment” for more information (it’s not limited to neurodivergence, it’s just studied more there). One way to cope with this is to have a “goodbye period” where you designate a given spot the “farewell spot” so you have a chance to adjust to the idea of it leaving. Another method (my favorite) is to save a small piece of the object, in a designated Memory Box. For example, the padding off the handle of a tool, a small piece of that pillowcase with all the holes, one piece from that brainteaser puzzle you solved once but don’t want to display, a bristle off the broken hairbrush. Marie Kondo has some good ideas about thanking an object for it’s use and allowing it to rest (something like that, it’s been a while since I read her stuff).
        Finally, the hoarding mentality. It runs in my family, and when I come up against it, it’s a hard stop. I don’t have any successes there, unless they decide to seek professional help I’ve simply done my best to create storage spaces that allow them to sort into bins and store safely.
        Any of these issues needs compassion and compromise on both sides. My mom asks me for “permission” to throw things away which eases her anxiety around not saving it (if I say it’s ok then there’s not some secret reason it’s important. Anxiety is not rational, any workaround is a good one). One family member who is trying to clear out closets for useful storage space, has developed a system with me. On a day we’re both in a good mood, they’ll pick an area (eg, bookshelves in office, or linen closet, or this dresser). We go through the stuff there one by one. I’m the sounding board, to say stuff like “that’s really pretty” or “that doesn’t fit” or “we will never make pasta with that spaghetti roller you got for your bridal shower 25 years ago and never opened”. More specifically, I might add why something isn’t worth keeping: “that shirt is pretty but it’s got 2 big holes and an ink stain, it’s garbage” or “we have 30 good empty three-ring binders, maybe we should donate some so we can have this closet back” or “that needs professional repair, do you want to hire someone, or is it ok to get rid of it?” And then the person makes their decision, which I don’t argue with. If they want to keep the pretty shirt covered in holes, I’ll help them fit it in the drawer, if they decide to donate the beautiful vase then I’ll help them pack it in a box to drive over there. We make a lot of use of the “Maybe” pile. Sometimes, seeing the stacks of nice things makes it easier to give up the not-so-nice. Sometimes, things get put into deep storage (in a vacuum bag or box tucked in the back of the shelf for the next time we go through, when they’ll probably be discarded).
        Sometimes, I have to get creative with storage ideas. For example, one bedroom has two dedicated bookcases on another floor of the house, one for the various book series collected (specifically ones that have been re-read and will be again), and one for crafts that are currently out of interest but will be picked up again at some point (ADHD hyperfixations tend to come back around for us). One cabinet is dedicated to CABLES. As long as it’s a good wire, it’s in there. HDMI adapters, various USB chargers, Red/Yellow/White a/v cables, various orphaned power bricks, Ethernet, coax, you name it, it’s in there. There’s also a box for cables intended to be INSIDE a computer to connect various types of components, and the tools to install them.
        All of this to say, it is possible to work with someone who hates getting rid of things. Conversations about it can be emotional and difficult, and might need to be spread out over a long period of time. The most important thing is getting on the same page that you need to remove things (not specific things, ANY things) from the house. If a person has decided that EVERYTHING must stay then you don’t have anything to work with. If they agree that more space needs to be freed by removing some amount of objects, then you can start collaborating to find solutions. That first step, agreeing that [some undefined amount of stuff] has to be removed from the house, lets you start. From there, it’s baby steps.

    3. PivotTime*

      How do I keep compassion and kindness for a friend who is overwhelmed and can’t start even cleaning the chaos in their living space? They desperately want to tackle all the things but aren’t in mental space to hack it and haven’t been for several years. Counseling is financially out of their reach. I’m someone who holds onto nostalgic things (think one large plastic tub for all my childhood toys), but am not a things person in general. I find it really hard to see things their way. Not to borrow trouble, but they may need to move in the next few months and I am going to have to help them pack. Any tips for how I can keep calm and be supportive while shoving things into boxes and trying to avoid triggering a meltdown from them? Feel free to recommend books/websites/anything that you think might be helpful.

      1. SuprisinglyADHD*

        Cleaning, organizing, and especially discarding from a chaotic space requires a lot of energy, both physical and emotional. Stress (like from moving for example) adds to the necessary energy. And once things have gotten bad, GUILT sets in, which diverts even more energy away from being able to act towards self-blame instead. It becomes a vicious cycle that can wear someone down. When the mess is EVERYTHING, not having a clear start point adds an additional layer of difficulty. Have you heard the term “executive function”? In the broadest terms, it’s the part of your brain that makes decisions, puts tasks in order, and moves you from WANTING to do the thing, to actually DOING the thing. Everyone has a limited amount, some more than others, but eventually it gets to a point where you’re actually unable to make any more decisions until you can rest. (after a day of tough choices, I can’t decide which pair of sneakers to put on to walk to Mcdonalds). I have a comment above that talks about WHY someone might not be able to get rid of stuff.
        If you can keep this in mind while you help your friend pack, it might help you hold on to your sympathy, knowing that every organizing or sorting task is an uphill battle for them. It’s gonna be very frustrating for you, it’s natural to think “this is so much harder than it has to be, they should have done this ages ago, if they’d just CLEANED then I wouldn’t be stuck here all day, etc”. But in the moment, expressing those feelings is not going to be helpful. It will add to the guilt of not having fixed this ages ago.
        Depending on how close you are to your friend, you may be able to help now. If you have time and the inclination, you can offer to come over and help clean/sort in short bursts. You can ask at a time when you’re out and about (not sitting in the Chaos Zone), or when/if they’re venting about it. If they say they would appreciate the help, I’ve put some ideas in other comments from this thread, where I was talking about helping someone get rid of things. Having a sounding board for decisions can be helpful to some people. I’ve had a lot of practice helping other people down the decision tree. Most importantly, a room/apartment/house full of chaos and clutter can’t be fixed with one day (or even week) of nonstop work. A project like that can best be tackled a bit at a time. It needs at least a vague plan and a decision on a starting point. I highly recommend the book “Organizing Solutions for People With ADHD” by Susan Pinsky. It’s particularly helpful in deciding on a strategy, figuring out how to even start, and being able to stop and start again as you have time. You can suggest it to your friend, but if they’re already overwhelmed, reading another book can be an insurmountable chore. If both of you agree to work together on it, it might be best if you read the book (or make a plan on your own), and act as the guide. Or, if you don’t have the time/energy/etc, whatever support you can offer will be appreciated (if not immediately, then when they are in a better point in life).
        In the end, the broadest, most widely applicable advice I can offer is from some online post I can’t find anymore: Always assume that each person is doing the very best that they can right now. Your friend is using every ounce of cleaning energy they have at the moment, it’s just that there’s only a tiny amount there!

        1. PivotTime*

          Thank you so so much! I really appreciate everything you’ve said and your taking the time to reply. I’m definitely going to check out the book you recommended. If no one told you lately, you are doing valuable work that is so needed. Have a great weekend!

    4. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

      Any advice for dealing with specifically paper debris?
      -An ADHD-friendly method for organizing the papers that can’t be immediately discarded so they can be accessed to take action on or discard?
      -Concise authoritative information about necessary conditions for storing collectible or archival documents to retain their value, for someone unaware that poor storage conditions render their “but what if it’s valuable someday” documents worthless?
      -Concise authoritative information about which legal, medical, or financial documents need to be kept for how long, for someone who is a rule-follower but can’t find the rules so over-saves to be safe?
      -OSHA or fire safety code or similar authoritative guidelines for things like width of walkway, clear space around doors, windows, electronics or appliances; height of freestanding shelves, height or number of layers of stacked boxes, etc.

      1. SuprisinglyADHD*

        So, as a warning, paperwork is my achille’s heel. I’ve got some methods to help keep my personal papers mostly under control, but they’re kind of spotty. You’re asking about aisles, so I’m assuming you’re looking at something closer to an office’s worth of papers, not a file cabinet’s worth. I have the most success with hanging files, sometimes I don’t even need smaller folders inside them.
        First step is to figure out what kind of papers you even have. Clear a big flat table or get a bunch of boxes (depending on how much you have). If you’ve got like, an entire room’s worth of stuff, start by clearing the largest flat surface, even if that requires stacking whatever is there into boxes to set aside. You’re going to sort things into very broad categories first, before getting bogged down in the nitty-gritty. “This is health related, this is car stuff, these are receipts, here’s the manuals, this is letters/cards, photos go in this box, these are all manuals, this looks like bank records…” Don’t think too hard about any specific paper yet, put it in any box that makes sense and you can move specific things later. If you’re truly looking at mountains of paperwork, then you can be even broader, sorting by decade, which family member they belong to, which piece of furniture they were burying, or any other sweeping categories that work for you. If anything catches your eye that is definitely garbage, start your garbage box/bag now.
        Next, pick one box/pile. The goal now is to set limits for that type of paperwork. Questions to ask include How often will I probably need this? What will I be looking for when I do need this? How far back does this need to go? You can decide on subcategories now, planning how you will sort this specific topic. As an example: Bank Records. For each account you might have deposit/withdrawal receipts, monthly statements, the account terms and conditions from when it was opened, quarterly and yearly statements, and maybe some tax documents. Now the question, “How far back do I want to keep each of these?” (more on this below).
        So you’ve weeded out the unnecessary papers from that category, sorted into subcategories, and they’re in (more or less) date order. If you can put it away now, go ahead, but it’s fine to put it in a box and set it aside while you start the next category.
        A few more ideas on how to decide how far back your records need to go. Once in a lifetime stuff should usually be kept forever. Birth certificates, marriage license, deeds, wills, name changes, etc. I keep them set aside in a lockbox, with other critical stuff so that if I have to evacuate it’s all in one place. For anything to do with money, like investments or bank accounts, I keep the end-of-year statements for (usually) 7 years. I also have the most recent 12 monthly statements, or the last 4 quarterly ones. When I get a new one, or when I actually have time, I pull the older one(s). For cars, I keep the title in my lockbox, and in my files I keep a copy of the current inspection, registration, and insurance, (and sometimes the previous year’s too). Older stuff gets tossed (again, unless you have a specific reason, like a pending insurance claim).
        Generally, the question is “What would make me need this?” Grocery receipts from 3 years ago probably will never need to be consulted. Long-deceased relative’s bank account would only be needed if the heirs are still arguing over it.
        Hopefully, over time, you’ll get through each of your categories, (and hopefully discard large amounts), and they’re all neat in your file cabinet/binders/wherever. You might want to make sure there’s empty space in each in case some files need to grow bigger.
        Good luck! The Paper Monster is indeed a formidable foe!

  239. FR*

    Love reading through all people’s different expertises!

    I am really good at taking data and turning it into something understandable and meaningful for non-data folks, specifically in the realm of policy but happy to consult on any broader questions of what kind of cross-tab to run or how to make a graph people can read or how to put words to a tricky data concept.

    I’m not sure if I’m a Stata expert but I haven’t seen anyone else mention Stata above so happy to answer questions there/about working with large datasets generally.

    I’m also a criminal justice policy expert so if anyone has any questions about how sentencing or parole work or how to understand a state or local criminal legal system or the consequences of criminal convictions, I could at least point you in the right direction.

    Last but not least I am very good at work life boundaries! I am a successful executive who is also a single mom and works 40 hours or less most weeks. AMA!

  240. Anon34*

    I am a TV news reporter in the Deep South. This industry is PACKED with mansplainers, people who fly into rages over nothing, and straight-up wackos. Ask me how I deal with them on a daily basis without losing my mind!

    Also good with getting a quality product done on a seemingly impossible deadline, pushing through ADHD symptoms to get said work done, and keeping my makeup looking TV-ready while standing outside in 115+ degrees.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      Definitely interested in how you push through ADHD to get stuff done. And I don’t wear makeup anymore but HOW do you look polished in those conditions??

    2. Merp*

      1) How do you deal with mansplainers talking over you in meetings?
      2) How DO you keep your make up from sweating off in the heat? I use liquid foundation, a touch of powder, followed by a matte setting spray
      3) How do you also not sweat completely through any hairstyle besides a messy bun? I’m a US expat from the Midwest living in the Mediterranean, and I just can’t not look like I’ve run a marathon in a sauna after being outside for 5 minutes in the summer.

  241. Nesprin*

    I’m a bench scientist. Happy to answer questions on the best pipettes, writing papers and getting your labmates to shower regularly.

    1. taco*

      Lol, this is why I work alone in a basement dungeon lab.

      Do you have any ideas for teaching oneself some rudimentary glassblowing? This is the first place I’ve worked without a scientific glassblower, and there’s some stuff I need that’s beyond my usual “heat and bend” technique.

      1. Nesprin*

        A good scientific glassblower is worth their weight in broken Pasteur pipettes. I’ve done a lot of heat and pull slowly, and a couple things with a diamond tipped dremel bit or their more expensive cousins from jewelry workshops. (A friend even managed to put one into a CNC and mill out his glass microfluidic chips that way).

        My advice is to call the glass worker from your last institution and ask who they know.

        1. AFac*

          It used to be that lots of universities had one on staff to assist chemists, biologists, etc. with their research.

          Now there are practically none. Particularly when you need one.

  242. KD*

    Does anyone manage lots of versions of really big documents and have a good solution for keeping track of them?

    I have a large document describing some complex software, and I need people (technical & not) to be able to look up what the software does in version 1.0, 1.1, 1.2, 2.0, etc. Made more complicated by the fact that we may be making changes that go into both 1.3 and 2.1, so that’s two sets of docs that need updating… and so on. At the moment it’s a bunch of Word docs and a lot of Track Changes – is there anything better?! My best alternative so far is “markdown files in git”, which won’t fly with the non-technical people on my team, and will be painful to navigate to boot.

    1. TechWorker*

      I’m not aware of an open source easy answer – my company has written their own solution to this. If you’re already using GitHub and markdown tho possibly there is a sensible branching solution where if people double commit code the process is also to ‘double commit’ the docs? You can easily export markdown to pdf for who don’t want to use GitHub directly, and it would probably be simple-ish to add a frontend where users can request the docs they want and the backend generates the right pdf from github

    2. WestsideStory*

      I have had luck saving and naming the documents by calendar date (time of day also sometimes). That helps people find the last working version quickly.

    3. Sapientia*

      So you need a document for each of your software versions and each of these documents has different versions due to updates?

      What I have found helpful is to clearly mark not only the version of the software, but also the version of the document and the date of the document version, e.g. 2024-04-12_software-1.2_V103
      If you only need to compare the document version to its immediate predecessor, you could still use track changes in Word.

      Then it’s important to have a designated place for the most up to date documents. You might want to put all the old document versions into archive folders, probably separated by software version.

    2. Hlao-roo*

      I did this in 2021/2022, so I think some of my success was influenced by the “Great Resignation”/”Great Reshuffle” and by the high prevalence of virtual interviews because of COVID.

      I knew which area I wanted to move to, so I applied for jobs in that area. I have family in the region (part of the reason I wanted to move there) and I put a sentence or two about that on my cover letters so companies would know I was serious about moving and staying.

      I had a phone screen and a video interview with the company that ended up hiring me. I was prepared to move without any relocation assistance from the company, but they gave me a small stipend that help offset some of the moving costs. I asked for a start date ~5 weeks out from when I got the offer so I would have time to deal with moving logistics.

      If you have any follow-up questions, I’ll check back later and do my best to answer.

    3. Educator*

      I’ve done this a couple of times, and it honestly came down to networking. Professional contacts who knew people in my new city introduced me to them, and I found jobs from there.

      I also described the move as a done deal, even though it very much was not. Like “I’m moving to NYC this July. Really looking forward to it.” Meanwhile, I have not even started apartment hunting. But it erased any questions about whether I was serious. :)

    1. Sapientia*

      What are your best tips for learning Python and the basics of computer science or data science?

    2. Andi*

      I don’t code at all currently, but I want to learn. A couple of devs at work have suggested Python as a great entry into learning. Would you agree?

  245. Unladen European Swallow*

    I currently work in graduate admissions at an R1 university in the U.S. I also worked in a highly selective undergraduate admissions office previously.

    Are you thinking about going back to school? Earning a master’s? Finishing your bachelors? How should you evaluate different grad programs? What questions should you ask potential faculty? What differentiates a strong candidate? How are GREs/SATs really used? Ask your questions!

  246. AthenaC*

    I’m good at auditing, accounting, ASU 2016-01 (Leases) adoption, and giving feedback.

    Please, don’t all jump up at once. ;)

  247. Very Clueless*

    QUESTION: How do you get people to give you a real, complete answer.

    Specifically, I have applied for internal promotions and lateral transfers and been told “no”. When I’ve followed up, it’s always you are very qualified, we want to you did a great job, we’d love to promote/transfer you BUT ” you “don’t have qualification X even though you exceed the other categories”. That would be great except it’s just people leaning on some technicality as opposed to telling me whatever the actual reasons are.

    Almost all the people (90%) who did get promoted/transfered were also missing the same qualification that was given to me as the reason why I didn’t get it. When I’ve followed up later stating there must be something else I need to be more competitive, the answer is always “they’re an exception.” I said that was fine but then there must have been a reason the exception was made for them and not me and that recently everything has been an exception. I was told again they were exceptions and thus the circular loop begins.

    1. RagingADHD*

      I don’t think there is a way to get people to articulate things they have decided to refuse to tell you, and it seems clear to me that this is a deliberate choice on their part. The reason they aren’t giving you the other position is that they just don’t want to.

      If you have a good relationship with your manager or the manager on the team you’d like to transfer to, you could speak with them privately, lay your cards on the table, and ask them to coach you on how to earn one of these positions. They may decline, but if they do, you should start job hunting if you want to advance.

  248. MossyMissus*

    Minor thing but is anyone good at attracting a group’s attention? Even if I use my loud voice I find it really hard to get everyone to be quiet, follow me, sit down etc (adults not kids)

    1. Scott*

      I was at a workshop last week and the gentleman hosting it did a great job at herding the cats after each break/lunch. He would stand at the podium and speak a few words then begin clapping. Others would join in the applause and it got everyone to quiet down and take their seats. I thought it was a great method and it worked well.
      Personally, I have the experience of 30 years of military service and people listen when I break out that voice. YMMV though.

    2. ferrina*

      Speak loudly, then immediately lower your voice.

      If you speak loudly for more than a few words, people will tune you out again. You either need to keep your message really short, or start speaking loudly then immediately get softer so that others will need to quiet down.

      Also, move around a little bit. This can be using your hands or gently walking around- I had one professor who started walking on tables in the middle of a lecture (without pausing his lecture at all). It certainly got our attention! But you can also just gently walk towards someone a few steps while talking to the group. If you have one group that’s still talking, moving toward them can briefly get their attention- are you coming to interrupt them?

    3. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

      I’ve had great luck with variations on the technique other commenter Scott mentioned:

      Addressing just the people who are close enough to hear you or whose attention you can get easily, start an action that other people are socially conditioned or previously trained to join in. Once the group’s attention has shifted from their own individual conversations or activities to What The Group Is Doing Together, pick up the whole group’s attention.

      Clapping works. Asking those who can hear you to raise a hand, or turn to the person behind them, or take a seat if most folks are standing, or stand if most are sitting, or join me/the speaker in a countdown to quiet, or…

      Another trick is, if you have an idea in advance that you will need to get people’s attention repeatedly — perhaps you’re going to present, and then have break-out discussion groups, then another presenation or whole-group activity, then a refreshment break, etc.– teach the group one of those participatory attention-getting signals and involve them in helping get each other’s attention.

      I’ve done versions of this with adults at professional meetings or conferences, group fitness classes, and kids of assorted ages. It’s the participatory angle that seems to make it work, not the specific action or signal.

    4. Garblesnark*

      This only works a few times per group, but if you are normally quiet and suddenly get louder than the group thought you could be, you will instantly have everyone’s full attention. Head to your local theater nerd for tips of using your diaphragm to get SO loud.

    5. Aspiring Chicken Lady*

      Big eye contact – try to latch onto the first couple of people who are paying attention, then cast your net a bit wider. I like to then use words that are narrating the act of paying attention, as if bringing the attentive ones in on my quest to get the room in order. Mostly it works. If not, I have been known to then break out into a few quick dance moves.

    6. Educator*

      You have some good advice here–other tips:
      1) Give all the instructions before anyone moves. While you have the group’s attention, tell them what is going to happen between now and the next time you have it, so that they know what to expect. “In a moment we will be splitting up into groups by department to discuss this prompt. You’ll have five minutes. When there is just one minute left, I’ll blink the lights to let you know that you need to wrap up your conversation. Then, we’ll come back together to share some ideas. Any questions? Ok, huddle up with your department.”
      2) Use your AV! Turn the lights on and off, play some music, put up a flashy slide. Quick and easy ways to get the attention back without raising your voice.
      3) Divide and conquer. If people need to follow you, there should not be more than 10-15 of them. For larger groups, split the group up, appoint a leader for each, and make that leader responsible for guiding their people.

    7. expert at walking backwards while talking*

      VERY context-specific advice that will absolutely not work with every audience, but as a tour guide (usually for a mix of children and adults who are in vacation mode) I have had excellent results with “If you can hear me, clap once! If you can hear me, clap twice! If you can hear me, clap three times! Okay, here’s a cool thing about this next area!”
      Project from the diaphragm, stand tall (I’m speaking as a very short person), gesture big, and remind yourself that you ARE the authority in this situation (even if you’re not). Depending on the situation, you may also be able to “assign” them little observational tasks/challenges, which also helps keep them focused and quiet even if they’re not really tuned into your patter.

  249. The OG Sleepless*

    Veterinarian here! I don’t want to answer medical questions, but have you ever wanted to know anything about our job itself? Any behind the scenes things about animal hospitals?

    1. Jiminy Cricket*

      When you say nice things about my cats, even though I know they are are terrified of strangers and not very nice to vets, do you mean it? (Tell me you mean it.)

      1. Roja*

        That was my exact question! So many vets coo over my cats… do you really mean it, or are you just making conversation?

      2. The OG Sleepless*

        YES. Absolutely. I NEVER take pets’ aggression (aka fear) personally. Especially cats. True story: one of my favorite patients ever was a cat who would have killed me as soon as look at me. We had to sedate her for every single thing she ever needed. Every time, while she was sound asleep, I would nuzzle her face.

    2. anon_sighing*

      I have always been curious about how specialties (and/or animals served) are picked and how broad it can go (for instance, can you see cats and gerbils at your practice? Do you need licensing/credentialing for each type of animal? At what level are they split?)

      1. The OG Sleepless*

        Species: We are educated in all species. Sort of. Our education is focused on dogs/cats/horses/cattle. Legally, we can treat whatever species we choose. (Fun questions to ask grade-schoolers when we do school presentations: “What is the ONLY animal that vets can’t treat?” Give them a minute to come up with sillier and sillier answers, then say, “PEOPLE!” What we actually do depends on our comfort level and interest. There are very few vets who will truly treat whatever comes in. For example, I treat dogs and cats. Years ago, I knew enough about cattle that I could have managed with them, but it’s been too long, and it would be very ill-advised for me to try. I won’t go near a bird or a small mammal.

        Specialty: people who want to specialize do an internship followed by a residency, then they take an exam by their area of specialty. They can then add the letters for their specialty after DVM, such as DACVS or whatever. Most of us don’t pursue specialties. I didn’t, partly because I was sick of school and partly because there are too many things I like to do. I would happily spend my whole day doing an odd mix of soft tissue surgery, endocrinology, and critical care.

    3. I'm A Little Teapot*

      I would like to apologize, even though you are (probably) not my cat’s vet. But she now has a note on her file that she’s “feisty”. I promise, I did not teach her to take swipes at everyone in the vet’s office. At least she didn’t try to bite.

      Actual question – there seems to be a shortage of vets. I heard recently one component was that vet schools were terrible to women specifically. Can you speak on that topic at all?

      1. The OG Sleepless*

        There may or may not be a shortage of vets; it’s a complicated question. I would disagree that vet schools are terrible to women. Veterinary medicine is as bad about eating its young as any other profession, for sure, and back in the 60s/70s there was all the sexism you would imagine, but the profession shifted quickly to being largely female through the 80s and 90s. I didn’t encounter any real female-directed problems when I was in school in the early 90s.

      2. Fresh Glass*

        I am not a vet but have three close friends that are! One is very passionate about this very topic, she has never spoken about sexism, but boiled it down to two things.

        You got through a ton of schooling and then struggle to find a high enough paying job to help you get out of student debt. Her first job was very high pressure, working at all hours, on call in the middle of the night in winter etc, and she was making very little.

        It’s in many ways a thankless job, the animals (through no fault of their own) can be difficult patients, and the owners can be even more difficult. Sometimes the owners blame the vet for things that cannot be helped, or expect too much from their provider.

        She has bopped around through different facets of the vet industry and still hasn’t found the right niche for her. It seems like a very challenging career path!

        1. I'm A Little Teapot*

          That’s the impression that I’ve gotten – it’s just hard, from all directions.

    4. ferrina*

      What kind of information is actually useful for you to know about my pet? I feel like I am talking too much every time I go to the vet.

      1. The OG Sleepless*

        For a sick visit: when the problem started, how it progressed, what medications you’ve tried, whether they worked. We will ask further questions from there. Behavior cases might need more delving into where you got him, what his early history was like, and so forth.

    5. ferrina*

      Second question- do kids hinder the visit? My elementary-aged kids enjoy “helping” the cats go to the vet, but I don’t think it’s actually helpful. What’s your experience been?

      1. I'm A Little Teapot*

        Not a vet, but I was in the vet’s office recently and another client had their kid with them. The kid was 5/6ish and while well behaved was still a kid. Talking, some fidgeting, wanting to pet or talk to other animals (parent didn’t let them), etc. I noticed my cat was more stressed than usual because the kid was around. YMMV of course, but unless the kid is old enough to actually sit still and be quiet, I don’t want to see children at the vet. It makes it harder for me to keep my animal calm. However, I also understand the challenge a parent has, so if the kid has to be there, do your best.

      2. The OG Sleepless*

        No. I love having kids there. I engage them as much as they want to be engaged. The only thing I can’t stand is those stupid beeping video games while I’m talking.

    6. Hlao-roo*

      How do you feel about TV shows and movies that show vets treating people? (Off the top of my head, I think this happens in Schitt’s Creek and I think I’ve seen it in an action movie or two.) Do you find it funny? Annoying? Harmful?

      Sort of related, but do people ever try to ask you for human medical advice?

      1. The OG Sleepless*

        OMG, TV shows about vets treating people are absurd. No: I promise I have never had a band of gangsters come bursting in wanting me to treat a gunshot wound. (The absolutely disgusting treatment area in Better Call Saul, with barking dogs in wire cages right next to the surgery table, was annoying too.) Funny aside: remember the big showdown with the drug dealers in Better Call Saul, with the diverted drugs from the animal hospital? Somebody on set had done a tiny bit of research, and the boxes of drugs were black with a purple swirl like some of the product from Bayer Animal Health. Too bad they didn’t look a little further to see what product had that label. Folks, those drug lords were buying Drontal, a dewormer.)

        People occasionally try to ask me for human medical advice, sometimes shortly before they try to remove articles of clothing to show me a lesion. NOPE NOPE NOPE. I do NOT treat humans. Humans are GROSS.

    7. The Gollux, Not a Mere Device*

      Any advice on choosing a veterinarian other than “not too far from my house, and they take cats”? In particular, are there non-obvious reasons why I should avoid a particular vet?

      We are about to take our cats to a new vet, because their previous vet’s office closed and it’s time for the annual visit.

  250. Canadian Disability Inquiry*

    RE: Canadian long-term disability (CPP?), spousal income, taxes

    I am a US citizen and later this month I am marrying my Canadian fiancé. He is currently on long-term disability, I believe under CPP. We will be applying for a CR1 visa for him to move to me in the US, but in the meantime he is terrified that he will be held accountable for MY income in the US while he’s living in Canada. He worries that after he changes his status to married, even filing taxes as “married filing separately” and knowing we live in different households in different countries (forced to by US immigration pending visa), he will lose his disability payment or be required to pay income tax on MY income while he’s in Canada. He’s terrified to try to call his disability worker and potentially red flag himself by asking. Are there any reliable resources on this issue or anyone have any experience in this realm? Thank you!

    1. Colette*

      I am only vaguely familiar with disability in Canada, but I do know that “married filing separately” is a US thing, not a Canadian thing. This is legal stuff, so you should be able to find some of it online, but you should talk with an expert in the province he lives in before you get married.

      1. Colette*

        Specifically, I’d ask:
        – how does getting married affect his benefits?
        – does it make a difference if his spouse is not in Canada?
        – what happens when he moves to the US? (I’d be surprised if he would still qualify, but again, this is not my area of expertise.)

  251. Jellyfish Catcher*

    From my dad , (miss him every day) – a fabulous mentor.
    Be good to the people below you, all the way down. They are the ones who keep everything running for you. Get to know them, be trustworthy, be approachable, be helpful.

    His last position was head of finances for a large hospital and educational and research buildings on campus.
    Every month, sometimes, more, he would drive in at night to have midnight meals / meetings with the night crew managers.
    I asked why: “They’re my people, too. They need to know who I am, and that they can call me anytime.”
    Then he smiled:”besides, who do you think knows more of what goes on after hours, than the night crew? If they trust me, I’ll know those things, too, and quietly deal with them.”

  252. Roja*

    Ballet teacher here! Have questions about how to find a competent studio with a healthy environment for your child? How to find adult dance classes in your area? What college and career paths look like the field these days? Anything dance-related… have at it.

    1. The Prettiest Curse*

      Ahaha I was waiting for this since I’m an amateur ballet dancer in my late 40s! (I don’t do pointe work.)
      What tips do you have to maintain flexibility and turnout for older dancers? And what are the most useful warm-up/cool-down exercises and stretches for adult dancers?

    3. The Prettiest Curse*

      Oh and also – which ballet dancers (past and current) have, in your opinion, the best technique?

    5. Sapientia*

      What kind of dance classes would be good for an adult that wants to build a good basis for dance techniques?
      I am not sporty at all, but love the aesthetic and body control aspects of dance, preferring the aesthetic of flowy, controlled continuous movements and dance movements that fit the music well.
      Would it be most sensible to take ballet or jazz or contemporary dance classes? Or maybe something completely different?

  253. taco*

    Hello!
    I write instructions for a living (like recipes, but scientific), and have a lot of tips I can give.

    I also do science outreach in the community, and have a lot of experience building up an outreach program and also designing the programming so that everyone feels welcomed! (rule #1 – never tell someone they’re wrong, say something like, oh, i hadn’t thought of it that way!)

    ps- if anyone here is going to the BCCE in KY this summer, lmk, we can meet up!

    1. Put the Blame on Edamame*

      Would love to learn a little on best practices for instruction writing – I have to update an article on how to download documents from our site and I’m.dreading it.

  255. Mrs Marple's Favorite Niece*

    I am pretty skilled at interpreting Quality Standards for a manufacturing setting- ISO 9001 and AS9100 specifically and love to chat about it!

    1. QualityGirl*

      I have worked with ISO 9001 for years, but know little about how it relates (if at all) with AS9100. What are the primary differences?

  256. International student advice*

    Very specific and late, but I’m an international student adviser at a UK university (qualified immigration adviser but experienced in the whole international student experience). Ask me any questions about studying as an international student in the UK or UK immigration and I’ll do my best to help!

  257. Educator*

    I’ve worked in administration for public schools (district level), independent schools, and a couple of education-adjacent nonprofits. Happy to answer any school-related questions!

  259. Rat Racer*

    I have a degree in music theory and composition and arrange music for my local Synagogue’s adult and children’s choirs. This isn’t my paid job – I’m a volunteer – but happy to geek out about music theory and 4-part harmony with anyone who wants to discuss!

    1. Clever Nickname*

      Can you explain modulation to me like I’m a really bright 12 year old who know what the circle of 5ths is?

      1. Rat Racer*

        It depends on how much explanation you’re looking for, but Modulation just means the changing of keys, usually by introducing a chord from a new key. If you’re familiar with functional harmony, the “tonic” is the like the home base chord of the key you’re in. A C-Major chord is the Tonic in the key of C. The Dominant is the chord one fifth above (G-major when you’re in the key of C) and wants to resolve back to the Tonic. When you’re in the key of C and you hear a G chord, you’re waiting for it to resolve back to C. So, the most common way to modulate from one key to another is to introduce the Dominant from another key. If I’m in C-Major and I want to modulate to G-Major, I’ll introduce a D or a D7 chord (D is the dominant of G-major). If I want to modulate to a-minor, I’ll introduce an E chord. And so on. You don’t have to do it this way — there are all kinds of clever and surprising ways to move from one key to the next. But introducing the dominant from a new key is the classic MO.

    2. amateur muso*

      I’m very interested in learning more about arranging music!
      I’ve got some formal classical background (piano, flute) and am self-taught on a few different instruments (guitar, bass, misc tuned/untuned percussion). I’d say I’m roughly at a community-orchestra level in terms of performance ability—i.e. basically competent, not a rockstar—but any time I’ve tried to arrange small pieces for fun, it’s taken forever and turned out rather unsatisfactory to my ears.
      Are there any resources or approaches you recommend for arranging at something like an advanced beginner or early intermediate level? Most of what I’ve found has been focused on things like reading/writing notation and extremely basic theory. Or is this just the sort of thing I need to keep trying at, even if I’m bad at it?

      1. Rat Racer*

        Hmmmm…. the way that I was taught to arrange music was chronological. You learn the very strict rules that Bach made everyone abide by in the 17th century and then you gradually learn how and when to break them. Learning counterpoint is a great way to start to understand voicing, chord progressions and all the things that make voicing sound awkward (like parallel fifths or octaves, doubling a 3rd, leaving a 7th unresolved). Once you know the road rules, you have all the ingredients for arranging, and then it becomes more art + trial and error. In fact, it’s a lot like writing prose: you learn the rules of grammar; you learn then when it’s appropriate to break the rules of grammar; over time, you develop a sense of what makes for good sentence structure. Also, just like writing, it helps to have an editor — in this case, someone with experience in arranging music — who can point to a specific measure and say “this sounds off to me, what if you have the altos sing an F instead of a B-flat?” that sort of thing.

  260. Tally miss*

    Adding this heresince the kiss letter today reminded me. If you have a 401(k) retirement plan and are using a chat program, be careful if typing anything about your 401(k) plan.

    Accidentally adding a space between the 401 and the (k) can result the program deciding you really meant 401 and then a kiss emoji which can be embarrassing.

  261. Forensic Scientist*

    I have a couple of degrees in chemistry and forensic science, and currently work in forensics. AMA!

    Note: I’m in the US and am a chemist by background, so I’m not as familiar with other forensic disciplines but I did go to school for forensics so I know basics about a lot :)

    1. NetNrrd*

      Are you able to watch any police procedural made in the past 25 years without exploding from “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THAT WORKS??”

  262. Sumac and cedar*

    Clothing/ fashion questions! With a side of disability and gender questions.

    Background: I’ve gained a lot of weight due to chronic illness but since I’m mostly housebound shopping for new clothes is hard.

    1) Please give me your best online retailers for people at the top end of “regular” sizing or the lower end of plus sizing! My vibe is vintage (or “quirky”) but comfy, think shirt dresses with pleats or button ups with succulents on them (masc and femme are both my jam but I’m also still figuring out what works with my very changed body).

    2) Wedding guest dresses: I would love some fit and flare options to wear to two weddings this summer. Any brand recommendation? I’m looking for something that falls below the knee and has a fairly high waist since I’ll probably be in a wheelchair.

    3) Make up… I haven’t worn it in years but I won’t know many people at these weddings and the wheelchair is enough of a statement. Animal friendly brands for sensitive skin? Online tutorials for people with ADHD who would rather be doing almost anything else?

    4) Compression tights/ socks and heat intolerance at summer weddings… any advice? Either sartorial or general survival strategies.

    I know these are super specific and kind of a long shot but hoping someone has some insight for even some of it. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

    1. Sumac and cedar*

      PS I’m in Canada so ideally looking for things that exist or can be shipped here, but also open to US options

    2. not applicable*

      For 1, you can try Witch Bitch Thrift! They’re inclusive of all ages, sizes, and genders!

    3. Dogwoodblossom*

      I don’t know what their shipping to Canada policies are but if you like quirky and vintage I super recommend pinupgirlclothing.com. A lot of their stuff is (at least to me) pretty expensive, but it’s very high quality and I think the pricing is fair. They also have a good range of sizes. It sounds like we’re in the same bracket, the small end of plus size, and their sizing charts are totally accurate. They also have plus size models so you can see how the clothes fit different body shapes.

      Also, can’t help with heat, but sockdreams.com has some very cute compression socks.

    4. Ocotillo Blossom*

      For 1 and 2: Check out Retroglam, Rain Clothing Inc., and Pinup Canada for Canadian online retailers that have funky dresses in a variety of sizes.
      For online stores: A few years ago, I would’ve said Modcloth, but I think they’re on their way out. Their inventory is really low, but you can search on Poshmark or other used clothing sites for their house brand (also called Modcloth). Unique Vintage ships to Canada. I sometimes try to Google retailers near me or at least in Canada that sell specific brands like Retrolicious or Collectif (their websites both ship to Canada but it’s a bit expensive). Fun.com sells pop culture clothing and the shipping was super fast to Canada. Modern Millie is a small store in Salem, MA that ships to Canada (I think). Vixen by Micheline Pitt is a bit expensive but there’s an online store and I know the brand is sometimes carried in smaller boutiques.

      I lived in NB for a bit but I’m back in the US now, so I’m trying to remember where I was shopping for my quirky clothes!

      For cruelty-free makeup, I love Colourpop. They’re affordable and fun (and have great international shipping discounts every month or two!). I use crueltyfreekitty.com to check the status of beauty brands–they’ll even tell you if the brand is fully vegan.

      Let me know if you have more questions!
      Good luck!

    5. Annie*

      General survival strategies for Compression tights/ socks at summer weddings: If the manufacturer’s sizing chart says their size X should fit you, go one size up. To avoid irritation in the thighs, special lotions/creams are an option, but I much prefer shorts underneath skirts/dresses even in the heat.

      For relieving yourself in the heat, an ice water spray bottle might work. Even if airport security restrictions mean the wedding needs to provide one for you, you can still get one to use at home and practice where to spray and how in order to minimize visible wet spots.

    6. Kc*

      eShakti might be a good option for you. They have a few quirky styles, lots of sizes, and the ability to request alterations like adding pockets to dresses or changing necklines.

      I also would have recommended ModCloth once upon a time but they’ve gone downhill. This website lists alternatives that are super cute: https://horrorkitschbitch.com/2017/03/possible-alternatives-to-shopping-at-modcloth.html

      As you find things you like, take note of the brand and just shop for that across websites. I just tried looking for Bea and Dot dresses and found a ton of cute ones for cheap.

  263. Mimmy*

    These might be somewhat niche, but here are things I’m happy to answer questions on:

    1. Learning how to touch type
    2. Working with people who are blind or low vision
    3. Basic information about the Americans with Disabilities Act and general disability accessibility

    1. Put the Blame on Edamame*

      Touch type tips please! the quality of my keyboard skills have gone downhill in the last few years.

      1. Mimmy*

        I would find a self-paced typing training program and practice each lesson until you feel reasonably comfortable that you can complete it accurately without looking at the keys. Don’t worry about speed right away–that comes with practice. The goal is to build muscle memory, which can take time, so being patient with yourself is key.

        As for specific programs: I use Typing Club with the students I teach (I teach blind and visually impaired adults) but there are others too. Other than programs for those with vision impairments, I’m not really familiar with general typing programs.

        1. Rosin and Roses*

          I have no idea if it’s still the standard but I LOVED the Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing program when I was in middle school. It genuinely made learning to type enjoyable and I am now a very accurate and speedy typist. It looks like there is even a free version you can download!

    1. ferrina*

      seconding! I’d love some tips on living with small kitchens when you have a large family.

      1. Jules the First*

        Get as much out of the kitchen as you can. Decide which things *must* happen in the kitchen and ruthlessly prioritise. My favourite solution is a small island on wheels that you can move between kitchen and another space which means you can meal prep outside your kitchen.

    2. TechWorker*

      Ooh not like professional but I love it and am very happy with how my own kitchen design turned out. Houzz also has good forums.

  265. Change Manager*

    I’ve worked as an Organizational Change Management Consultant for over 7 years and have experience in non-profits, government, private sector and higher education :)

    1. nothing to see here*

      Ooo a tangential question for you! I’m just finishing a knowledge management degree, and am particularly interested in how KM, change management, and org development all intersect. My actual question: what do you wish more people understood about change management, especially people you work with regularly?

  266. Sparrow*

    My current full-time job is with a podcasting company. The work I do is mostly on the business side, but I also have some experience in podcast production. I’m happy to answer any questions about podcasting, what it’s like to work at a podcasting company, how to get into the industry, or anything else on the subject! :)

    1. Lady Alys*

      What’s the most efficient use of a limited amount of advertising budget to spread the word about a podcast?

      1. Sparrow*

        Honestly? I don’t recommend spending a ton of money on advertising. You can advertise ’til the sun comes home, and at the end of the day, people are going to care way more about what podcasts their friends recommend to them than what podcasts they saw in an advertisement. So your goal, rather than being “How do I advertise my podcast to as many people as possible?”, should be “How do I get people to recommend my show to their friends?”

        There are a few ways to do that, but the biggest things are:

        1) Have something baked into your show’s premise/format that makes your show stand out. One of the biggest problems I see is people trying to launch a show that has nothing that makes it unique from the rest of the shows in their genre/format. If you describe your show as “A movie discussion podcast,” you aren’t giving people any reason to pick your podcast out of the hundreds of movie discussion pods out there today. You can generate a lot more interest with something specific, like:

        – “A movie discussion podcast hosted by an award-winning film director and a filmmaking student who just entered the field”
        – “A podcast dedicated to reviewing films that have gotten 20% or less on Rotten Tomatoes”
        – “A queer film review podcast hosted by a 50-year-old bisexual man and his 19-year-old lesbian daughter”

        Those are all examples in the nonfiction realm, but the same thing applies in fiction—”A sci-fi podcast about a group of people on a space station” describes at least half a dozen shows I can think of off the top of my head; what makes your show different than them? Specific is always gonna get more attention than something super broad. If you’ve already started your show and you’re now worried that your doesn’t have any compelling or unique angles, that’s ok—you can always shift your show’s format if you think it’d benefit it. Don’t give me the show anyone could make. Find the story only you can tell and tell that.

        2) Good production values. Do you have a good-quality microphone, do you record in an area that gives you high audio quality (no background noise or echo), and is your show edited well? If you did not answer a very confident “Yes” to all three of those questions, that’s where you wanna spend your money first.

        Now, if you have a solid premise and good production values and you still have some money to spend on advertising, there are absolutely things that you can spend your money on. First priority in my opinion should be a nice website. You can host your website wherever and however you want, but it should function as one place that I can go to and find a description of your show’s premise/format, where I can listen to it, who works on it, transcripts (if you have them) the cover art and title of your show, and links to all your social media accounts. This is genuinely a critical part of effective advertising that SO many people overlook.

        A website also makes it easier to do two things for marketing that are completely free but can be very effective: one is sending out a press release to journalists (particularly in the podcast industry) asking them to review your show. I’m not sure if links are allowed in comments, but if you google “elena fernandez collins podcast press release” the first link should be an article titled “A Guide to Unleashing Your Podcast’s Press Release” that will walk you through how to do that. The second thing is feed drops: you can reach out to other shows and ask if you can send them your trailer to put in their podcast’s feed, usually as a trade where you’ll do the same for them. This allows you to both get a little boost in advertising by accessing each other’s existing audiences.

        If you still have money left over after that, my recommendation would be to try to advertise in podcast newsletters (which, btw, I highly recommend hunting down and subscribing to if you aren’t already). Their rates are generally pretty reasonable, and you’ll be guaranteed that anyone who sees it is going to be someone who’s already familiar with podcasts and enjoys listening to them.

        Hope that helps!

    2. SFer*

      Thanks! How do you get in to the podcasting industry, as a non-talent, non-technical person? Routes to get experience for technical roles? Other, non-technical roles? How is the industry in general hiring-wise?

  267. Caz*

    UK based – NHS staff, I have worked my way up from band 2 to band 6 with no degree, working a variety of admin roles including successfully rewriting and rebanding my role once. That was hard, let me help you have an easier time. I can also help you demonstrate how your experience is equivalent to a degree, at least well enough to get you to interview stage. (Remember, you only need to demonstrate that once, then you get to shine in the interview and prove your worth in the job by being excellent at it!)

    Also in my life – I am an accomplished cross stitcher and designer, and am running a profitable etsy business with my stitching. AMA.

    1. Caz*

      NHS job rebanding tip – All job descriptions are evaluated against the NHS Job Evaluation Handbook. It’s publicly available, one Google search should get you there. The scoring system is not straightforward but is laid out easily for you. Know what score you’re aiming for. Know what your high score domains are. Be prepared to get your first draft rejected and don’t get disheartened by it.

    2. Tired and in Pain*

      I currently don’t have a degree, but am looking to start a part-time Public Health one through the OU; I’d be unlikely to be in a position to go full-time even when it’s complete, due to chronic health issues. How flexible is the NHS currently on job-shares etc; would I be expected to do the legwork to find someone to jobshare with? Likewise WfH in non-clinical roles? Is that being clawed back or is it still available?

  268. BatManDan*

    I have a business where I show people how to stop “networking” and start building relationships that matter.
    If your “networking” is not producing consistent, high-value referrals (60+ of warm introductions to your ideal clients annually), then most likely you are skipping some key steps.
    What most people do that they call “networking,” is really just either speed prospecting, or marketing-by-hand.
    Happy to answer any questions people have, or refer to resources that are NOT mine, or share links to free (and freely available) information / places where I was a guest on other people’s podcasts.

    1. Zona the Great*

      I’m still not recovered from my last job where my boss praised “networking” as THE only thing. In his case it meant following him around the state to events, meetings, and conferences we were not involved in or invited to because Networking.

  269. Fluff*

    Medical Informatics. I am really good at figuring out some things that drive humans crazy without them knowing related to work and computers. I tend to be usability focused and often predict outcomes because I can “feel” barriers humans have with x computer change.

    I am good at verbalizing the hidden curriculum rules because I broke so many of them – snap, crack and let’s pulverize them for good measure so they stay broke. The “this is what you do at work to succeed, but we will never tell you and use whatever inappropriate methods to get rid of you.” Recently finding a niche with underground fellow ND professionals.

    And if you are a patient and want to know why something is done a certain way, I may be able to explain. (Hint assume highly regulated stupid costly reason).

  270. Betsy S*

    Unix/Solaris/Linux/AWS/OCI administration. Many tech-related skills. Also survived in tech while becoming a single mom to a somewhat special needs kid. AutADHD.

  271. ecnaseener*

    Question for the excel gurus! Is there a way to sum up the values in column B that correspond to cells in column A that hold formulas with a result of a particular value?

    That is: I can use SUMIF or SUMIFS to get the sum where column A has value of 5. And I can use SUMPRODUCT to get the sum where column A has a formula. But I can’t figure out how to combine them to get the sum where column A has a formula with value of 5 — I can’t get SUMIFS to check for a formula, or SUMPRODUCT to check for the value.

    1. ecnaseener*

      Never mind, I figured it out! [In case anyone else needs it: SUMPRODUCT(ISFORMULA(A:A)*(A:A=5),B:B) ]

  272. Zona the Great*

    I would love if we could do this again during a Friday thread or holiday full open thread. Anytime where the whole day is focused on just this advice thread.

  273. H.C.*

    Public Relations and Inbound/Content/Organic Marketing (particularly for healthcare & nonprofit sectors)

    1. H.C.*

      Can also answer questions about journos wanting to transition to the “dark” (but better paid & more stable) side of PR.

      1. Writer Seeks $$$*

        ok, I’ll bite! I have a background in journalism and have been working as staff writer for a few years. I don’t think I would be good or capable of producing marketing content, and I really don’t want to do social media stuff. is this incompatible with your field? what types of roles should someone with my experience look for and what skills/experience would be best emphasized?

        1. H.C.*

          There are definitely a wide range of content needs that goes beyond typical marketing materials (newsletters, quarterly/annual reports, website copy, video/podcast scripts, speechwriting for executives/experts, as well as technical writing).

          Rolewise, I would seek ones that say content writing (obvs) and content development. I know a lot of job descriptions will throw in marketing & social media in there as a catchall, but it may be worthwhile to consider those opportunities as well and then ask the hiring manager how much marketing/SM writing is actually involved versus the other types of writing just mentioned.

  274. HoneyBee359*

    I don’t have an office job anymore. But I’ve homeschooled for 14 years, started 2 homeschool co-ops, am studying for a degree in Naturopathic medicine and live on a ranch with chickens, rabbits, goats, cows and a garden. Happy to answer questions about any of that!

    1. Annie*

      For Naturopathic purposes, how interchangeable do herbs in the same genus, e.g. Viola bicolor vs Viola tricolor, Cirsium vulgarae vs Cirsium horridulum, etc. tend to be?

      1. HoneyBee359*

        It depends on how you’re using it but generally they can be pretty interchangeable. For example with mint there are a few that are much more beneficial medicinally than the others but overall the mint family is good for digestion, headaches, wound healing, etc. It’s just like with the family of any species. Similar composition and chemical ingredients but how much of those components makes a difference in the usage and effectiveness. Cirsium vulgurae and cirsium horridulum both have digestive benefits, lots of antioxidants. You could use them interchangeably. As a naturopath I would be suggesting the most effective strain for an individual’s needs, but in my home I don’t worry so much about the exact type unless I’m dealing with something critical.

      2. Literally a Botanist*

        Don’t take the chance

        For example, the seeds of Viola bicolor are edible. The seeds of Viola tricolor are toxic. Raphanus sativus is the common radish and all parts of Raphanus raphanistrum are toxic. Solanum has potato, tomato, eggplant, and several poisonous nightshades.

        I have twenty years of field experience and multiple degrees in local botany and I wouldn’t eat a plant that isn’t confirmed edible.

  275. Marilyn*

    Hi. I’m a Certified Customs specialist ( Canada )I worked for service providers for years explaining imports to our customers then jumped at the chance to do all the exports for a multinational shipping to e.g. US, Mexico and other North American countries to complicating land/sea quoting on products, services to Mali, Suriname, Saudi Arabia etc. Fun fact. Most companies have an unwritten rule that you can order/import stuff at work and pay the duties, taxes etc. under their corporate accounts at their pricing. It can be an amazing perk.I’d love to answer your questions..

  276. English Teacher*

    English grammar, punctuation, vocabulary and usage–both the big important stuff and weird fiddly details.

    (I’m not prescriptivist, by the way; I’m never going to say the way you speak or write is wrong. It’s about making yourself clear and sounding good in the specific situation.)

  277. SharkswithLasers*

    I work in the field of optical engineering which involves working with systems involving lasers (like materials processing), imaging systems/machine vision (robotics, autonomous vehicles, automated factory inspection) among many other things. Not sure if I can be helpful to anyone here but if you have questions about the field or how anything with light works… happy to help!

    1. Anecdata*

      Can you explain how the finances work? and specifically, how does it work between the parish and the diocese? Does the diocese shuffle money between the parishes (maybe to balance out one being in a richer area than the other); what expenses are paid by a parish vs a diocese; what rights/limits does a diocese have in its ability to tax parishes?

      1. Hedgehug*

        Parish finances are handled differently between Diocese to Diocese.

        Most basic way finances work:
        Parish gains income from weekend Mass collections (loose money and envelopes), automatic credit card payments, automatic bank withdrawals, e-transfers, tap machines, fundraisers etc.; occasionally income comes from a bequest or transfer of share/stock.
        The envelopes and loose money are counted, recorded and taken to the bank.
        This is the income money expected to pay utility bills, vendor bills (snow clearing, lawn care, etc) church supplies. A percentage of all income the parish makes goes to the Diocese (“cathedraticum”).

        At the previous Diocese I worked at on the other side of the country (Canada), that Diocese put parishes into groups to share finances to balance out. That happened after I left so I’m not sure how it’s been working for them.

        In my current Diocese, each parish is responsible for paying its bills, maintenance upkeep, etc. Our Diocese pays all employees. Previously the parishes paid their own staff, but that changed a few years ago as our Diocese has been working hard at centralizing things.

        Parishes need to work hard at being financially responsible and saving money in a reserve fund that the Diocese oversees. If the parish takes money from their reserve fund, they have to pay it back over time. This is of course unique to every parish depending on 1. the priest they have and his level of confidence and comfort in addressing money and finances with the parishioners, 2. the demographic of parishioners and their ability to donate, 3. the age of the building and its needs, 4. communication between the parish and the people about the needs

        For example, the parish I work at, my priest is excellent at communicating financial needs to the parish, and we are very fortunate to have good donors here.

        Our Diocese (and many others) has an annual fundraiser to go toward various charitable programs in which they have a set goal to meet, which gets divided up between all the parishes based on the previous year income for that parish. For example, if the Diocese commits to raising $2 million dollars, all 40 parishes have to contribute a mandated portion of that. Since the Diocese is the legal owner of each parish, they do have the right to mandate this. This has been a point of contention for some time as there has been growing pains in these times of parishes no longer being allowed to operate autonomously.

        The Diocese financially assisting a parish is also unique to the Diocese, but in general, they will assist the parish with cost of education/faith formation programs, and some building costs. For example, if the Bishop is noticing a trend that 10 out of his 30 parishes are complaining about roof leaks, he might mandate all 30 parishes to get a roof inspection and the Diocese will cover 75% of the inspection cost.

        I apologize for this being a bit all over the place of a response!

  279. Katherine*

    I work in accounts receivable and I’m very good at making sure my accounts don’t have large part due balances, large amounts of unaapplied cash, or unresolved disputes.

    I specifically work in logistics/transportation but previously I’ve worked in medical billing and the process is basically the same.

  280. Siege*

    Very late and for this audience almost certainly too niche, but if you have general questions about how unions work in the US, how to organize your workplace, the benefits of organizing your workplace, how to oust your sucky worksite reps/local leadership, or whether you actually get anything for your dues dollars, I am here to tell you all about that. I work with public sector employees, so some topics I’m not versed in, but I have ideas.

    Slightly lazy request (as in, I know Alison has answered this question and I just haven’t looked at it lately). My last managerial reference I would use is from a job 16 years ago. This is obviously too old, but due to a combination of a really bad workplace, a workplace way, way, way out of my field, and a return to school plus fake freelancing (I worked for one client very sporadically who doesn’t do that work any more and the people I was in contact with were not in a position to judge the quality of my work; the people who were have moved on), who have you used as references when job-searching? I could provide peer references from my current job, but maybe there’s something YOU thought of that I have not.

    1. Anecdata*

      Your advisor/a professor you worked with on research (assuming the back-to-school is relevant to the jobs you’re applying for); as a supplement to the past manager?

      1. Siege*

        I should have clarified – it was an AAS at a local community college in 2010, and while it was relevant to a part of my current career, it was in now-dated tech, so I think it’s about on par with the manager from 2008 in a different (but related) field. It’s a good thought, and if it were a newer degree, I’d give it serious consideration to who might be a good reference.

    2. Fish*

      Do you have any resources for what to expect from a union/how unions are organized/uh. What to do if you’re in a union and the whole thing seems extremely messy and low on like. Consistent means for outreach to members. Informing members about meetings. Communication about what next steps and specific goals are. Like I know I’ll have to get involved but what’s reasonable to expect and what systems need to be set up?

      1. Siege*

        You’re right that you’re going to have to get involved. :) Locals are almost always understrength in their boards – you have to have a large local to fill all your board seats, in my experience. Strangely, communications is the position most often left out, and it’s also what I do, so I have some experience with this!

        The most basic thing you should expect is that your local should have a way of communicating with members, usually two or three, and there should be a system in place so that that communication is timely and simple. I realize that sounds like a simple statement of a complex problem, but that’s it!

        I recommend to my locals that they implement an emailed newsletter system. It can be monthly or bimonthly as long as it is predictably scheduled. Along with that, if there are any gaps in scheduling that are making it hard to do this, those should be addressed upward. If you’re going to a bimonthly newsletter that sends in early May, you can’t schedule the June membership meeting at the late May meeting. This is the absolute bare minimum of what you need.

        To get a little more robust, add one or two other ways of communicating with your members. Other options are more a la carte and depend on your local’s overall preferences. One of the locals I support can put flyers in their employer-provided mailboxes; another local is working largely remotely and doesn’t have mailboxes. One local loves P2P texting; another local uses Facebook. Snail mail is generally not a good option, but could make sense for a once-a-year message.

        Think about what you communicate via each channel. P2P texting may work very, very well during a strike or day of action; Facebook probably won’t work as well because the algorithm sorts unpredictably (and frankly, more people have phones than have Facebook).

        Think carefully about tools. Depending on who your national affiliate is, you may have access to a system like Action Network, which handles both bulk emails and P2P texting – it can be a one-stop-shop if those are the ways you’ve established are best. I would not try to set this up on my own; the pricing structure is arcane and they aren’t good at getting back to you with that info but the free version won’t cut it at some point. But at minimum, you need a bulk emailer unless your local is VERY small. The benefits of being able to track what messages people are receiving and reading is really, really a point in the favor of a bulk emailer over an Outlook mailing list – but an Outlook mailing list is better than nothing.

        Speaking of your national affiliate, talk to them about the tools they have. If you have a state federation, they’d be who you reach out to first, but if you don’t or you aren’t sure, you can reach out to the national organization and tell them your local is looking at setting up a communications plan and you’d like to know what kinds of tools/training are available from them. Our national affiliate runs our database, for example, and provides regular trainings on it for new local leaders.

        Here’s the real issue: union work is volunteer work nearly exclusively, and it’s easy to burn out on volunteer work. What you’ll want to do is set up a system that works for you rather than you working for it. Don’t commit to weekly emails; be open to increasing messages during contract negotiations or during an action. Cross train people. Look for leaders. Many, many unions have people with leadership potential – that they demonstrate every day – who are afraid or unwilling to step into leader roles because they haven’t gotten encouragement or been able to address specific concerns or are afraid of speaking up. You’ll know what’s most likely the case if you think about who your members are. Minority food service workers who don’t speak English as a native language generally don’t see themselves in leadership roles in the same way white, college-educated faculty do.

        Concrete steps:
        1. Volunteer as comms chair.
        2. Assess the tools that you think will work well or have historically been used but are unused now.
        3. Set up an editorial schedule.
        4. Follow through, but prepare for when you can’t by cross-training someone who is not your local president in how to do your job.

        I hope that helps! I’ll check this again in case you’ve got more questions.

  281. nerdgal*

    Hi, I understand investing. Portfolio construction, how different kinds of investments work, how to manage the various risks. I also understand (USA) retirement investing. Caveat: I don’t know much about government jobs and how their retirement plans work. What do you want to know?

    1. investing novice*

      Do you have any opinions about international stock exposure from a US perspective? I’ve heard everything from 0% (lol no) to 60% (seems high?). Are there ever personal circumstances, such as planning to reture outside the US, that would impact target allocation?

      1. nerdgal*

        Hi, I replied earlier (or thought I had) but I don’t see it, so let me try again:
        Theoretically, a portfolio with some allocation to international stocks should have lower risk. However, funds and ETFs in that category tend to have somewhat higher fees, and the more components you have in a portfolio, the greater the effort required to keep it balanced. So if you really like simplicity, I think leaving them out is okay. Many big US stocks have significant overseas exposure anyway.
        Your question about expats is a good one! I don’t really have much knowledge there, sorry.

    2. I edit everything*

      I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I’ll post anyway, just in case.

      I have an old collection of retirement accounts (403Bs) just sitting at Fidelity, from an old job I left ten+ years ago. I’ve never been in a position to roll them over into a new employer program, so I’ve mostly just been ignoring them.

      What are my options with those accounts? Is it OK to just leave them where they are for now, or should I move the money into something else?

      1. nerdgal*

        Hi! If I were you, I would move them. Most 403B plans have higher fees than you would find at a discount brokerage, and fewer choices. Fidelity has some low cost funds that you could use, and you’d probably be happier with just one account to watch.

        Be sure to do a “direct rollover.” Fidelity would be the simplest choice. Schwab and Vanguard are good too.

      2. nerdgal*

        I think you should roll them all over to a single IRA, at Fidelity, or at Schwab or Vanguard.
        1. Almost certainly you will have lower fees; most 403B plans have high fees.
        2. More choices of investments.
        3. Only one account to keep track of instead of several.

        Be sure to do a “direct rollover.”

  282. Jennifer C.*

    I am good at making FOIA requests to state and local government agencies. (In your state these may be known as “Open Records” or “Public Records” requests.) I can give tips on how to reduce the cost of a request, how to figure out what to ask for, and how to deal with unhelpful government employees.

    1. PivotTime*

      FOIA is something I’m interested in doing but haven’t really had a need to yet. What are some beginner’s tips for an efficient request? And I’d love to know how you get government employees to respond to you on something like this

      1. Educator*

        As a former government employee–we are legally required to respond within a set timeframe.

        Most of us don’t want to be unhelpful, we are just wildly understaffed. FOIA requests are hugely time consuming, especially when confidential information is involved and we have to redact a lot, or when the scope of the request is very broad. We also tend to get a lot of requests around the same time, often because the media is focused on a topic or issue. And FOIA is rarely someone’s actual job–the FOIA officer does a ton of other things too.

        The people I worked with in government really want to be transparent and get constituents the information they need. It helps the overworked human on the other end if the request is very specific (don’t ask for every time any school leader sent an email mentioning race, because that is just witch hunting and will take for-ev-er, ask for information related to the incident you are concerned about), and includes a reasonable timeline (think weeks). If you are a community activist, coordinate with the other people involved in your cause so that you don’t all make the same request (we have to respond to each of you). And if you get charged, know that it is way less than what it costs us to pay the overtime and legal fees involved. And FOIA is super valuable, but regular human conversation can be too–if we can solve your issue or give you more information in a five minute phone call, we would much rather do that!

  283. I Have RBF*

    Linux/Unix Systems administrator/engineer with over 25 years experience. Mostly old school, not cloud. I’ve written code in around 15 languages, from macros to scripting to compiled. I’m self taught, no degree. I’m the one they come to when the cloud stuff doesn’t work. I deal a lot with permissions, privileges and access control for applications, plus performance tuning.

    If you want to know what to study or how to learn in this area, hit me up.

    1. stat analyst*

      Do you do any work in SAS? If so, do you have any go to favorite tips or tricks? I’m good at basic, straight forward programming, but would love to level up to so sleeker code!

  285. KB*

    I never like to imagine I could be an expert at anything, but the two areas I know best are volunteer management (I managed 150+ volunteers at a museum for five years) and records management. Happy to answer anything!

    1. nonny*

      As a long-time museum volunteer, I’ve always been curious—what’s the biggest difference between managing volunteers and managing employees? Do you look for different qualities when recruiting?

    2. Dragonfly7*

      How do you manage volunteer burnout and/or over reliance on the same small group of people?

  286. tokumei*

    Happy to answer any questions you might have about:
    -Japanese language
    -Moving to Japan
    -Getting a job in/changing jobs in Japan

    I’m a non-native fluent speaker who has passed the highest level of the Japanese language proficiency exam, so I like to think I’m equipped to help those learning the language from scratch! I’ve also lived here for more than a decade and successfully changed jobs multiple times.

      1. tokumei*

        I came for work, so my organization handled the visa process the first time. They shared with me what documentation I needed to submit, and I submitted it to their visa specialist employee. That person handled the visa application process, and then returned my passport to me with the visa already issued. It was more than a decade ago, so I can’t remember the exact details, but if you have specific questions I can try to help. I’ve been through a variety of visa processes since then while living here. I will say, I remember being very uncomfortable being without my passport for several weeks during the visa process, haha.

      1. tokumei*

        I started learning in university at 18, so well past the window that my brain was able to learn another language at near-native level. I was lucky that my university offered an intensive program that forced a lot of output, particularly speaking. I was also fortunate to be able to study abroad in Tokyo for 5 months during my third year of university.

        After 4 years of learning in my home country, I got a job teaching English in the countryside, and lived there for 5 years. The things that really helped my Japanese while in that job were:
        – Actively trying to understand the lessons that students were being taught about English grammar in Japanese while I was in the room
        – Watching a ton of Japanese TV and engaging in a hobby where most aspects were only accessible in Japanese
        – Be very stubborn about interacting only in Japanese with the outside world (rather than allowing doctors, waiters, cashiers, etc. to try to help me in English)
        – Study for and pass various Japanese language tests during those 5 years

        From there, I took an office job in Tokyo where most of my job tasks were in English but I was one of 3 English speakers in an office of 20. Having to talk about work topics in Japanese every day was what really pushed me from “strongly conversational” to “fully fluent.” Having to hold my ground with my diagonal-boss about COVID precautions being necessary, for example, meant that I had to be very confident in my language usage and know the vocabulary to get my point across! It was while I was at this job that I also started to read Japanese novels.

        This is going to sound ridiculous, but watching Japanese TV is probably the easiest, best way to keep up Japanese once you hit a certain level. It doesn’t matter if it’s movies, anime, cooking shows, game shows, whatever. Just listening to native speakers regularly helps.

        I can definitely recommend study materials, or share more about particulars of my experiences if you’re interested!

        1. acmx*

          Thanks! So interesting. I can dream about conversing a bit in Japanese on my next visit :)
          Japanese classes are hard to come by in my area. The local university offers/partners with an online course but I don’t have the self discipline to learn by myself. (Actually, I’d probably be shy in class so I’m doomed either way lol).

          What materials do you suggest?
          (If only I had a tape player, I still have Berlitz tapes LOL I’m that old).

          1. tokumei*

            Yeah, it’s definitely not an easy language to learn alone! I really benefited from being in a room of people at about the same level as myself and being forced by the teacher to speak with them, even if it meant making a fool of myself, lol.

            It may not be that helpful, but if you can find an online tutor or something, I strongly recommend the Genki series textbooks. They focus on teaching you things you can use without getting too caught up in the grammatical “why,” which gets you expressing yourself on at least simple, useful topics quickly. My goal when I first started learning was definitely communication more than anything esoteric, which seems to be the case for you too!

            After Genki, I found that “Tobira: Gateway to Advanced Japanese” was a rough transition but a great way to push myself into more high-level skills and forced me not to just get comfortable with the level of communication I was at. iirc, the readings in that textbook are all real articles, essays, or excerpts written by regular Japanese writers for a regular Japanese audience that have been chosen for their language usage and vocabulary and used in the book, not passages written specifically for language learners, so it forces you to apply everything you’ve learned to real-world examples.

            If you’re studying for the JLPT, I recommend the So-Matome series, as I think it gives a lot of practice questions and that type of thing that specifically prepares you for the test. I also used the Memrise app and the Anki app—there are JLPT specific decks in those for each level of the test.

            I’m happy to chat more if you’re interested! I don’t really want to post my email address publicly, but if you’re comfortable with that or can think of another alternative, I’d be interested to hear more about your Japanese-learning background and interests and such!

            1. acmx*

              I’ll look into Genki!
              I”d just like to learn a little of the moher tongue but no one to practice with. And maybe a retirement hobby (that’s a ways off, I not *that* old lol)
              I have a “junk” email myusername15 outlook

  287. Program Analyst*

    What are some good resources for Power BI? I’ve been using Microsoft’s training/educating system and a coworker is teaching me, but I keep running into a wall where I can’t get an outside source to be linked to the dashboard. Two other Power BI questions:
    1) how do you create dashboards in Power BI? I’m able to upload data into it, but that’s pretty much it.
    2) What do you do when you keep getting a pop-up notification saying your Power BI is out of date, even though it’s already the latest version.

  288. Andi*

    Request: How can I stand up for myself at work?

    I am a survivor of domestic violence who tends to shut down in conflict. I’m also currently in a conflict-prone work situation. Trying to leave, but it’s been slow going. In the meantime, any time someone in a bad mood accuses me of something I didn’t do or goes into, “I never said that!” mode or just… anything along those lines, I shut down and dip out. Then shake and cry in my car.

    I want to be able to calmly and professionally just say, “Hey, that’s not okay.”

      1. Andi*

        This is a great suggestion, and I actually used it today! My favorite person at work spent his lunch roleplaying some scenes for me before a difficult meeting with my boss. And it went really well! Thank you!

    2. PivotTime*

      First, I want to say that I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough situation. Having colleagues who, it sounds like, gaslight you or take their frustrations out on you is definitely not ok and their reactions aren’t your fault. As a conflict-avoidant person generally, in the past I found its totally natural to shut down or not know how to react in the moment. Please don’t be hard on yourself about how you’ve been handling this situation.
      Is there a short, stock phrase that you can say that would put up the professional boundary your colleagues lack and yet is easy for you to remember?
      Something like “I can see you’re having a bad day. Let’s talk when you’re calm”. Followed by you walking away.
      Or “I’m not talking to you about this right now. Put it in an email”. Again, followed by you walking away and taking yourself out of the situation.
      Said enough times it might get through their thick skulls or at least show them you’re not showing up to their anger party and they can’t dump their emotions on you.
      Until you get more comfortable saying something, is there someone at work who can be your ally when your colleagues start acting up? Someone who has no problems telling them to knock it off and sit down? Can this person come with you when facing the most vocal or mean of the people you have to deal with? You don’t have to divulge anything about your past, just a simple “X is really being an a-hole today, can you come with me when I bring him the report?” Sometimes having someone else there to witness the behavior can feel a little more safe because you’re not alone. If a colleague is routinely accusing you of mistakes you didn’t make or is verbally lashing out at you, it’s time to tell you boss or HR. Even if they don’t do anything or you end up leaving before they do, it’s at least in the record that you’re dealing with unprofessional behavior. They should want this to stop before it escalates further than it has. I wish you strength and good job hunting vibes.

      1. Andi*

        This was so kind of you to type out, thank you!
        I talked to HR again this week but they keep shrugging it off and kind of smoothing it over. I’m actively applying for other jobs so hopefully soon I’ll move to something a little calmer!
        I very much appreciate your suggestions and just your gentleness and reassurance that this is not okay behavior. Fingers crossed, and thank you again!

        1. PivotTime*

          Hi Andi, I’m so glad that I could be helpful. Sounds like you’re already doing the actions that are going to get you to a better place. I’m rooting for you virtually!

  289. WestsideStory*

    According to others, my superpower is the ability to do research on any type of topic – and come up with summaries in plain language that can be actionable. There’s nothing I like more than combing through four or five years of sales data to find the mistakes and replicable successes, or mine the web for marketing info to find an audience or a set of facts to prove a point. Some of the fun things I can share is how to “work a room” to find the key players in a crowded event space, or how to figure out if your website is really user-friendly!

    On the personal side, I know a LOT about gardening, have written a few books on the topic and gardened on both East and West Coasts of North America. I am always happy to answer questions about what plants to put in challenging spaces, or how to mitigate that bug or disease problem on your orchid or bonsai or cabbage etc. Ask away!

    Bonus: Mr. Westside is a verified EXPERT on New York City tourism, to the point where he has got several glass awards for it, and I’ve passed on his recs whenever someone here is planning a visit and needs good info.

    What we both wonder is where we might direct our interests and skills to a stay-at-home career?

    1. Sapientia*

      Wow, have you always been good at research or did you train it specifically?

      Also, please share how to “work a room” to find the key players in a crowded event space. That sounds very interesting! Maybe also some tips on how to approach them?

  290. Tribal Sovereignty 101*

    I find myself yelling at the television often enough at US public figures who desperately need to take Tribal Sovereignty 101 or Intro to Native American Studies that I feel up to answering a few questions in those areas.

    1. SuprisinglyADHD*

      Before events, sometimes a politician or celebrity will say a land acknowledgement, where they tell us which tribe lived there. Does that accomplish anything, or is that just a no-effort way to look like they care without doing anything? Like, do they then pay royalties to the tribe whose land was stolen? Does the acknowledged tribe get a say in what’s done with the land?

      1. Tribal Sovereignty 101*

        Good question! I was a little nervous about opening myself up in this way, but I can share on this one.

        Land acknowledgements can be a good first step if they go beyond being performative. The giver of the acknowledgement should really ask themselves what actions they and their organizations are going to take to support Indigenous communities. Will they support Indigenous-led organizations, support Indigenous-led movements, or give land back? Will they start collaborating with tribal governments on a government to government basis?

        I think it’s better if that sort of land acknowledgement shouldn’t be given by the people Indigenous to that place – we know where we’re from. It’s better if they come from the settlers, they’re the ones who need to do the acknowledging.

        No fair acknowledging whose land it is if there’s no plan to build relationships and work towards a better future.

        1. SuprisinglyADHD*

          Thank you, I’ve always wondered about that since I hear something like that before so many sports events. It always seemed kind of odd to me as a stand-alone statement. Thanks for taking the time to answer me!

  291. Fiona*

    There are so many comments here already I fear this won’t be seen but — does anyone have a great suggestion for an icebreaker activity for a new group of people who will be meeting/working together for the first time to start off a day-long seminar?

    1. Amy*

      I’m not sure if this is relevant to the specific situation, but is it really necessary to have an icebreaker activity? When I hear “icebreaker activity,” I hear “forced interaction to make it seem the whole group is One Big Team” when what I’d want is actually Presenter talks about what we are meeting for, makes us feel at ease about what we’re gonna do, the we just get to it, and the Presenter just makes the rounds to make sure things are going okay and smoothes issues out if they come up.

    2. Another PM*

      I am someone who hates ice breakers yet has to run lots of meetings, and the two questions that never seem to fail to get people warmed up to each other are: What was your first job? and What is your desert island snack if you could only eat one for the rest of your life?

    3. Put the Blame on Edamame*

      Ask people to introduce themselves and say what they want out of the day- it’s simple and can be a good lead in to the project.

  292. Teaching to leadership*

    I’ve been a teacher for over a decade and would like to move into secondary administration (deans and assistant principal roles). Some feedback from a recent interview was to focus more on how my leadership can transfer outside of the classroom. Any suggestions on wording/phrasing for this?

    I have volunteered for more leadership roles outside of the class (coordinator position, peer observer and curriculum development) but those are small roles and I feel like I can’t rely on that experience to answer every question.

    Thank you

    1. Educator*

      I started as a classroom teacher and have spent most of my career in administration. While I can’t get inside the head of the person who gave you that feedback, I can tell you my experience. Some teachers stay more siloed in their classrooms and their departments. Focused on their kids, their immediate colleagues, etc. In order to move up, I had to shift to thinking about the school community as a whole. That meant developing programs, organizing events, taking the lead on resolving challenging student and parent issues that impacted multiple teachers, getting involved in the messy politics of budgeting to fight for the things we needed, etc. It meant asking “how are we not meeting student needs right now, and what can I do to resolve that” on a much bigger scale. So that’s how I would frame it. Not particular roles, but ability to see and respond to the needs of the community beyond your official corner of it.

    2. Yoli*

      I have been a coach and assistant principal and currently coach folks in those roles. I’m hiring right now and I’m looking for:

      Content expertise – Do you know the standards, core practices, key frameworks etc. for your focal content? Since you’ve done curriculum development your resume bullet points could speak to the basis for that and your role–were you writing lesson plans, contributing to the vision of excellence, etc.? A big question I have when folks are developing in house curricula is around quality control: what did you do or what evidence did you collect to ensure the curriculum was appropriately rigorous and cohesive (vertically and horizontally)?

      Self-awareness and people leadership: As a peer observer, what are some examples of feedback you’ve given? What are your beliefs about relationships and building collaboration and mutual respect? How do you balance the big picture with individual teacher needs? Are you self aware about how you come across to people, and can you name specific strengths and gaps in your current practice?

      Red flags for supporting admin roles include anything that suggests low expectations (for students, colleagues, or self), “teachers vs. admin” dynamics (I tell people if you want to be admin because you think the current administration sucks, you’re better off leaving your school), or a lack of interest in working with adults. You’d be surprised by the number of people who don’t realize that working with adults is the primary avenue by which you have impact on kids as an administrator.

      I hope this helps! Happy to answer more questions–I have a lot of experience coaching people through the process of become a new admin and in their first few years in the role.

  293. Vendelle*

    I’m a native Dutch speaker and I know loads about voice and breathing related issues and what to do to get rid of them (I’m a speech therapist and specialize in voice and breathing problems).

    1. SFer*

      How cool! Thanks, here’s a work question: I get kinda short-breathed and all quiet voiced when I’m trying to speak to colleagues with authority. (Especially to peers over whom I need to exhibit some leadership). Any ideas for quick fixes?

      If you don’t mind, a second question:
      (presumably related..) my 5-yo, asthmatic little kid also goes to a tiny, (whiny), non-projected mumble frequently, in times when he’s low energy. How can a parent encourage him to speak up instead of whining/mumbling, without destroying his little confidence?

      Thanks for sharing your expertise.

    2. Janne*

      How can I help someone be louder?

      I’m leading a group of volunteer sports coaches. One of them is really hard to understand even when she’s shouting at the top of her ability. I know the pedagogical tips (e.g. talking not too loudly stimulates the group to be quieter, just keep the group moving in logical directions without too much talk, make sure all noses are pointed in your direction when you talk, etc) but in the end our terrain is right next to a railway and people just don’t hear her.

      I myself have quite a low-pitched voice and often get the feedback that I’m a bit too loud, so I’m not used to this problem :D

      So what should someone do when they have a soft high-pitched voice but they want a group of >30 people to hear them over train noise?

      1. Thisishalloween*

        if you are willing to do some tailored training for her, before or after a practice maybe, you might be able to get her to raise her voice. however, if she is unable to succeed at this core task of the role, she might need to know that this volunteer opportunity is not a good fit for her.

        1. Thisishalloween*

          yikes! thought I was responding to an orphaned question– didn’t see it was addressed to a professional. apologies for chiming in!

    3. Rhymetime*

      Do you have recommendations for regaining one’s singing voice with a hiatal hernia condition? Not seeking medical advice for the hernia itself.

  294. PepperVL*

    I’m SO late to this, but I’m in records management and happy to answer any questions about that.

    In my non-work life, I’m an accomplished cross stitcher and crocheter and great at costuming on a budget.

    1. judyjudyjudy*

      Do you have advice about maintaining a huge catalog of samples, that a team of people have access to? I think we are just going to have to re-inventory every year…

  296. Amy*

    I’m good at training people. I’ve worked in some form of customer service for over 20 years, much of it as some kind of senior/supervisor/manager, primarily retail, and have done a lot of hiring and a lot of training; training both base level employees as well as employees moving up to senior/assistant manager level who then were promoted above that as well. I think training others is not taught/talked about as much as it should be.

  297. Zendesk help needed!*

    I use Zendesk enterprise (multibrand) and am absolutely not using their reporting (Explore) to its full potential. One report that I really need but can’t figure out is basically a way of checking that my team are answering new/open tickets in time order.

    I’ve tried to create a report that will show the time between when the ticket was most recently created/reopened by the customer and the time that it was answered by the agent, but the results aren’t correct.

    Even a simple report showing the SLA time at the point it was answered by the agent would be helpful, but again I can’t figure it out.

    If you think you can help, I would pay for an hour of your time walking me through it.

  298. LondonLady*

    Good at writing speeches and presentations for self or others, and making them and now train people in that.

    Less good at networking events, particularly when I’m the only person from my organisation present. I get anxious when I don’t have a defined role.

    1. Janeric*

      I have similar networking issues and I find asking the organizers if they need any help in a defined role is very useful — especially when I clarify that it’s for my comfort, and that I don’t mind say, selling raffle tickets or running microphones.

  299. The Meat Embezzler*

    Late to seeing this but figured I’d chime in. 10+ year recruiter here. I did both temporary contract staffing for 5+ years and senior level executive recruiting for 5+ years. Happy to answer any questions/dispel any rumors about recruiting or the recruiting industry.

    1. Sapientia*

      As someone who is looking for a new job, how do you find your own recruiter? How do you recognise a good recruiter? Will a recruiter also consult on which jobs are feasible for you or only on your resume/cover letter?
      Or am I off-base and recruiters only work for companies?

      1. The Meat Embezzler*

        Hi Sapientia,

        I’ll answer your questions in the order you asked them:

        To find a recruiter in your industry, I’d start with a simple Google search and see what turns up. The more closely a recruiter aligns with your industry, the better a resource they will be. To me, a good recruiter will only focus on a few select verticals/industries as your best value that you can bring as a recruiter is specific industry knowledge. If the recruiter knows who the movers and shakers are within your industry, chances are they can a valuable resource.

        Your third question is a little tricky and it depends on your industry and where you are at in your career path. Some recruiters try to form relationships with early career professionals as the recruiter works with companies that will pay them to find early stage talent (Investment Banking springs to mind). Lots of other recruiters won’t invest the time with an early stage professional simply because the clients they work with won’t pay them a commission and therefore, the recruiter won’t invest the time working with you. This is particularly true in industries where there are lots of folks (say early career marketing and communications). Some recruiters will offer a more in-depth career conversation with you if you have a background that they work with quite a bit and can therefore get paid on.

        Regarding your last question, recruiters are paid by companies so they are incentivized to work on the jobs they have open and to find people to fill those jobs. There are instances where you can have a background that is very attractive and a recruiter can pitch your resume to several clients. You see this scenario a lot with software developers that have a very specialized skill set.

        Hope this helps!

        1. Sapientia*

          Yes, this has really helped as I only had some vague ideas before and did not know how much was actually factual :) thanks a lot!

  300. DreamOfWinter*

    Super late, and I don’t think I have anything unique that’s work-related to offer. I’m a great people manager but that’s all due to being a regular reader of AAM.

    However, if anyone has questions about raising chickens or ducks as a backyard hobby, I’m your gal. Happy to talk about peeps and quackers all day long!

    1. stat analyst*

      I would love to have backyard chickens or ducks at somepoint! What do you do with/for them when it gets cold in the winter?

      1. DreamOfWinter*

        I’m in Maine – so we get a lot of winter. The number one priority in housing them in winter is to have good ventilation, ideally passing over their heads. They can tolerate very cold temps – our coop was -15 inside at one point – as long as they are dry and don’t have drafts blowing on them. Also, I never ever keep water inside the coop. I make sure they can always go inside/outside if they want to during the day, and that they have an outside space that’s sheltered from wind and rain. The only time I’ve had frostbite issues is when it got really damp inside the coop on a below-freezing night.

        Ducks are even hardier than chickens. Mine are absolutely bonkers for snow and would rather sit outside in a snowstorm than be inside. Again, though, they don’t love wind. So I’ve made lots of wind breaks in their outdoor run and also have made sure they have a 3-sided shelter to go under on days when it’s really bad. I can tell when it’s brutal weather because even the ducks won’t go out.

        I also make them nice warm treats on cold days – oatmeal, scrambled eggs, chopped up veggie scraps are all favorites.

  301. Beezus*

    Are there any interior designers who can share insights on the client/project management software they use? I’m helping a friend as she’s setting up her design business (it’s a one-woman show right now), and she’s considering Dubsado, Programa, and StudioDesigner. Is there one platform you use that meets your needs, or are you using a combination?

  302. stat analyst*

    Does anyone work with SAS?? I’m good at just basic straight forward programming, but would love to level up! I’m always on the lookout for other people’s favorite bit of sleek coding!

  303. Donkey Option*

    Also late to the party, but I handle international chemical control regulatory compliance, Safety Data Sheets, labels (both consumer and workplace,) and similar. I actually know why product have California Proposition 65 statements. I also know it’s a field that is always in growth. So if anyone wants to know about any of that, let me know!

  304. Miss Mantis*

    Not sure if this is too out-there, but I’m good at mixed media sculpture, and my friends occasionally find it useful to come to me about what material(s) to use for various things (fixing or making). Also, if anyone has questions about preparing and pinning insect specimens!

  305. Landlord*

    I am a residential landlord for 11 properties. If you have questions about what landlords look for in tenants, why we price the rentals as we do, or how we handle move in/move outs, let me know.

    1. nerdgal*

      I know someone who just recently (a little less than 2 years) got a good paying job after years of being underemployed. He has no credit rating. (I don’t mean bad, I mean it doesn’t exist.) What can he do to convince potential landlords to rent to him? He has money in the bank and an on time payment record for cell phone and streaming services.

    2. PivotTime*

      What do landlords want in a tenant besides the usual: quiet, pays rent on time, doesn’t have parties, respects space and common areas, is polite and communicative, good credit, etc? How do you make yourself stand out in a competitive rental market as a tenant? Myself and my roommate are looking to move next year, and the area we want to be is going to be tricky to find a place affordably.

  306. Annie E. Mouse*

    This one is a long shot, but does anyone work with SAP WebIDE/tables? I’m trying to find a class or training to get myself around developing reporting capabilities.

  307. Kathy the Librarian*

    I very good at creating Adobe fillable forms. I use them all the time and making them fillable makes it easier for others!

  308. ECMG*

    I teach public speaking for tour guides, and am great at daily rosters/schedules. Hit me up!

    But if anyone’s just scrolling, the biggest unsolicited tip I can ever give for presentations/tours is to keep your hands below your shoulders at all times – it’ll help you breathe better, project better, and it’s very confident body language!

  309. Bella*

    I was seriously devastated after I felt played by this company , They took all my funds , They have wonderful ways to make you deposit all your hard earned money in the hope of doubling the funds or making some sort of profits back and you get slammed with a tax before withdrawals , I reported to Easyreclaim0@ Gmail. com who is a cryptocurrency expert and I got my funds

  310. Yoli*

    I am a literacy expert (and even if you don’t have young kids, it is in all of our best interest to be informed about literacy legislation and policy change at the federal and state, and local levels).

    Also open to questions about coaching/leading adults in ways that disrupt traditional patterns of dominance.

  311. AN*

    Hi! How do I move SharePoint file and folder locations without breaking the link? I’ve looked it up and feel like it should be automatic (the link should follow the file when I “move to”), but it’s not, my links break. Thanks!

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