here’s an example of a great cover letter by Alison Green on September 14, 2011 A reader recently sent me one of the best cover letters I’ve ever seen, and she nicely agreed to allow me to reprint it here in case it inspires anyone else. Note: Don’t steal this letter or even parts of it. The reason this letter works is because it’s so customized to the writer’s situation and the job she’s applying for. The idea here is inspiration, not copying! Here’s some background from the writer before we get to the letter itself: I’ve been out of work (but doing freelancing) for the last several years since my company closed. My background is in marketing communications and project management. Found your blog several months ago and have been religiously following your advice on finding a job. Recently I came across a posting that sounded absolutely fantastic, except that it was obvious they were looking for an entry-level/newbie type who wasn’t going to expect to be paid very much. After checking the posting on and off for several weeks and mulling it over, I knew I was the perfect person for the job even if they didn’t know it — plus it was only 10 minutes from my house. I wrote the cover letter of the century and sent it in. Got a call a couple of days later, and it was the guy from the ad who said, “You should know that you get the award for best cover letter ever.” We chatted for quite awhile and he asked for writing samples. A few days later I got the invite for a face-to-face, at which point I realized that this job would truly be the chance of a lifetime. We really clicked and while I could tell he was a little nervous about spending more money than he had previously decided on, he was definitely realizing what an asset I would be. The next day I got the formal offer! I was a bit concerned that any offer might be on the low side, but it was extremely fair and I couldn’t be happier. There’s your background. Here’s the letter, with a few identifying details redacted. Dear ___, As soon as I saw your posting for a ____, I knew it was the perfect position for me – and that I was the perfect solution for you. Let me explain further: As you will see from the attached resume, I’ve worn a lot of different hats. As a freelancer I’ve run the marketing gamut. From e-blasts, public relations and web marketing to copywriting, video and print production, you name it, I’ve done it. I’m extremely motivated, organized and disciplined – you have to be to work from home – and, it’s important to note, never had a dissatisfied client. While my official title at ____ was Project Management Coordinator, in reality I was known as the person who could do everything. Hats I wore there included copywriter, researcher extraordinaire, PowerPoint & Word guru and my favorite – She Who Must Be Obeyed (earned for riding herd on the account executives and graphics geniuses). We were a small company where everyone had to pitch in, and I thrived on the excitement of being involved at every level of every project. No matter where I’ve been, I’ve produced topnotch work because I’m dedicated to making sure each and every piece stands out from the crowd. Whether it’s promotional work for external clients or internal corporate leave behinds, I pride myself on my ability to recognize and articulate a distinct voice for every project. And that’s not always restricted to the written word. I’ve also designed and produced unique promotional giveaways for various clients. While writing is my passion, project management is my bread and butter. Keeping on top of projects and making sure all parts get to the finish line at the same time is one thing I do best. The ability to juggle projects and never missing a deadline didn’t just develop through my professional experience. It also comes from having three kids in four years – all with very different personalities, activities, schedules and demands. It was adapt or die trying. I’ve learned to budget my time and my assets, and most importantly, I’ve learned to be flexible and to get things done. I know what you’re thinking – that yes, I am the perfect person for the job, but there is no way you can afford me. But I’m not in it for the money – well, I am, but it isn’t the most important thing. I’m looking for a position where my contributions count and my efforts are appreciated – and hopefully a long-term commitment. Benefits such as a short commute and flexibility mean just as much as salary to me. The fact that you’re ten minutes from my house is a big plus – and you’ll never have to worry that I’ll be late! So let’s talk soon. Sincerely, Rebecca Zultowski So there you have it. So many things are great about this letter — it vividly paints a picture of Rebecca is and creates a compelling case for why she’d be great at the job, and I love the way she handled the salary question. Note that it doesn’t waste space by repeating what’s on her resume but instead adds something entirely new to her application overall. It’s also an example of how it’s okay to break the standard rules if you do it in a way that works — mentioning your kids wouldn’t normally be a good choice in a cover letter, but the way she did it here is perfect. When I told Rebecca all this and asked for permission to post it, she replied: I used to write very boring, run of the mill cover letters, but I found that once I started personalizing them – mentioning my kids in this one, had another one where I talked about how my parents were grammar and spelling hawks and drilled it into me – I really started getting a lot more responses. This one was really my best work if I do say so myself! :) I do have to give you total credit though. Your blog taught me to be interesting and creative with cover letters and also how to dance around the salary question. So very, very helpful!!! Please go ahead and post it as inspiration. I know it will be plagiarized in part or whole, but I’m so happy to have landed my dream job with it that if it helps someone else so be it. I’m contributing to the greater good if even one person is inspired by it. Now go forth with this in your head and write your own! Want more help finding a job? Get my e-book: How To Get a Job / Secrets of a Hiring Manager If you’ve ever wished that you could look into the brain of a hiring manager to find out what you need to do to get hired, this e-book is for you. I’ll give you step-by-step help through every stage of your job search, explaining at each step what a hiring manager is thinking and what they want to see from you. Learn more here. You may also like:here's a real-life example of a fantastic cover letterthis is one of my favorite cover letters everhere's an example of an excellent cover letter { 156 comments }
Bryce Christiansen* September 14, 2011 at 2:13 pm Wow Alison, I wish some of the people applying for a job with us currently would read this. Yesterday I got one cover letter that read like a ransom note. “You will give me this many hours each week and pay me this amount of money. You will call me at this number at this exact moment or else you will forfiet any opportunity of having me as an employee.” Thanks for the great info, I’ll be sure to pass it on. Bryce
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 2:15 pm Love the image of cover letter as ransom note!
Aniau* September 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm I’m half tempted to try that “Not accepting your rejection letter” Scheme next time I receive one! XD too funny!
Lina Souid* September 14, 2011 at 10:06 pm That’s amazing! Why am I imagining small magazine clippings of different letters sloppily glued onto resume paper?
Malbuq* August 1, 2012 at 10:25 pm Wow! Indeed the best cover letter I’ve ever read. Congratulations on the creativity. Great job! (And congrats on the job gotten and so well deserved!)
Marla* September 14, 2011 at 2:27 pm Mentioning the number of children you have is a good thing? The letter has great style, but I don’t advise my career clients to divulge information that interviewers try to get from illegal or shady interview questions. I’d rather include details like the importance of grammar learned from parents. We’re living in a world where interviewers walk you to your car to surreptitiously look into your car to see if you have kid’s car seats. The presence of such items can be cause for elimination.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 2:30 pm Right, that’s what I meant when I talked about breaking the rules. In her case, it was done well and it worked. Personally, I still would have left that out for the reason you mention, but it’s not my letter — and as we saw, it worked for her and she got the job!
Rebecca* September 14, 2011 at 3:09 pm OP here (always wanted to say that!). I didn’t always include a mention of my kids in cover letters for all the obvious reasons, but this particular job description spelled out the need for someone who was used to juggling projects, deadlines, etc. It just made sense for this instance.
Leigh* May 23, 2012 at 11:57 am Rebecca, Thank you so much for your inspiration!! Here it is a year later from your original posting (or almost a year) and I happen to land on the greatest cover letter I’ve ever read! I have been trying to write that perfect cover letter, to get on the top of the resume pile … after 2 solid years of job searching, I am inspired! I actually feel that perhaps I finally have a chance at finally landing a position, finally the chance to feel human again! Thank you!
Leigh* June 1, 2012 at 6:05 pm Update: I changed my cover letter … inspired by the original, I designed it around my own background and circumstances … I didn’t copy a single word, I just got inspired and started writing. I actually got an interview within 5 days. The interview went very well. I am so grateful to have received a call at all. No matter what happens from here, I feel that if nothing else, at least I had a renewed experience that if I keep working at it, I WILL land that job. I find that we are living in a world where, gone of the days that you could just get another job within a week. I’ve never in my lifetime had a problem getting a job, in fact I used to come highly rated. I feel that perhaps the economy is in such a bad place, that 500 + resumes are submitted for any given job … I know this because not so long ago, I was the one that received over 500 resumes to fill 5 positions. Sifting through all of them was so overwhelming, so unexpected that I found myself swamped in a sea of resumes, looking for something that stood out and said, “pick me, I’m perfect for the job”. Being at the other end of this spectrum is not only sad in this country we live in, but stressful and demeaning in many ways. I am educated and experienced up the xxx … gone are the good ole days! I have been humbled and have a renewed outlook on life and people. I hope to god, that I never left a bad impression or said anything demeaning to anyone I ever crossed paths with. If I did, shame on me! I beg for your forgiveness!
Michelle* July 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm Agreed, Leigh. I’ve been looking for something better for about a year, and I see 2 positions (one I’m more suited for, one I’m more excited for) from an organization that has held my interest since I first heard of it. However, I’m not quite up to par on paper, and my friends are telling me I’d better bring my “A game.” A direct, slightly off-kilter cover letter may just be the ticket to get me noticed for more than what’s on the paper.
Tami M* July 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm Michelle, I can so relate to your statement. I hope you’re able to compose a KILLER cover letter and knock ’em dead! Sometimes we have to take that leap of faith and go for the gusto; I hope this is your time. No, I don’t know you, but I sure am rootin’ for ya. :D ***crossing fingers, toes, eyes, and anything else that might help*** ;)
Michelle* July 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm Thanks, Tami! If I am blown away by my own cover letters, I’ll share! :)
Anonymous* September 14, 2011 at 6:58 pm We’re living in a world where interviewers walk you to your car to surreptitiously look into your car to see if you have kid’s car seats I remember seeing that HR methodology documented in an article featuring Evil HR Lady.
Suzanne Lucas* September 17, 2011 at 2:49 am Was that in that 50 Things your HR department won’t tell you in RD? The writer rounded up some really amazing quotes. I did read,years ago, in some HR magazine about the great idea of telling the candidate that you needed to go pick up some dry cleaning and unfortunately your car was in the shop, so could we conduct the interview in your car, while you drive me to the dry cleaners? The idea was that seeing how they kept their cars would give you fabulous insights and blah, blah, blah. If someone tried this on me, I’d be like, “Really? You want me to take a complete stranger into my car? No. I don’t think so.” I hate these stupid tricks. Let’s all be straight foward, shall we?
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 17, 2011 at 1:36 pm What I love about that suggestion is the total lack of concern about how it would make the interviewer come across to the candidate — no concern at all about the fact that the interviewer would appear to be totally unprofessional. Says so much about the weirdly one-sided approach so many employers take to the interview process.
SME* September 14, 2011 at 2:27 pm Okay, I thought I was a pretty great writer of cover letters, but I’m clearly nowhere near as awesome as I thought I was! Talk about inspiring!
Erica* September 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm I love this one! And I completely agree about personalizing it and making it “you.” Not just with the highlights, but really – who are you. It’s always a risk (and definitely is risky mentioning your kids) but the way I figure it? This is the kind of person I am, and if that’s not the kind of person they are looking for – it wouldn’t have worked anyway. I do tend to get a lot of interviews, etc. And I think it’s because not only am I careful where I apply, but I really try to figure out if it’s the right fit, right there in the cover letter.
Subversive Secretary* September 14, 2011 at 2:49 pm Wow, great inspiration. Ive often wondered how to address the issue of previous job titles not matching my actual duties, especially when I am applying for a job based on those skills not titles. I also loved how she uses her mommy skills, and makes those skills desirable and beneficial. It’s true, running a household, and multiple children is not unlike running a small business, but that gets written off as “someone who stays home and watches daytime television.” Great job and congrats on the hire!
Lina* September 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm Exteremely interesting. I would have never thought to write such a cover letter in terms of tone. I’ll try it for my next application and give you an update.
Lina Souid* September 14, 2011 at 10:12 pm I tried to write one today but it was really hard to recreate that style when I used to using more detail. It was still a good cover letter though so I went it.
Jen* September 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm “It’s also an example of how it’s okay to break the standard rules if you do it in a way that works — mentioning your kids wouldn’t normally be a good choice in a cover letter, but the way she did it here is perfect.” I’m curious as to why it works here. Beyond the empirical “she got the job, didn’t she”, what’s the spark here that others should strive for? (I’m trying to say this so it doesn’t sound challenging, but I do wonder if it’s the humor that makes it work, and if one of those things that doesn’t work for everyone. Best advice my best friend ever gave me before an interview: “if you think of something clever to say, don’t say it.” I think I’m pretty funny, but I’m also tone deaf to when I’m not being received the way I intend.)
SME* September 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm I think you have to strive to find a happy medium. On the one hand, you don’t want to be too informal, but on the other, if you don’t let any of your actual personality come through, how are you going to know if you’re going to be a good culture fit? There’s a difference between being on your best behavior, and being so formal that you lose the chance to let your personality shine.
K.A.* September 14, 2011 at 5:27 pm Breaking the rules sometimes gets you the job. It’s all about reading the situation. I think the key is to break them in an authentic way. I recently had a job interview and was invited out to dinner afterwards with a few senior management types. One of them kept on asking me ‘gotcha’ type questions. I’d prepped well for the interview and had good answers for all of them, but he kept hammering away. Eventually it dawned on me that he was trying to get me to crack and show some personality, so when the right opportunity came up I responded with a witty, borderline sarcastic, comment. He laughed and immediately the tone of the diner conversation become much more relaxed and social. The interview resulted in an offer a week later. My handling of the situation was entirely dependent on my read of his personality and what he was trying to get out of me. With someone else being sarcastic might be have killed my prospects.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 5:30 pm Informal is almost always better than formal as long it doesn’t go to an inappropriate/offensive extreme. People want to hire real people who they warm to, so if your application presents you as a real person, you’ll stand out from the other 300 generic job applications. As for why this particular rule breakage worked … well, taken as part of the whole, it just helped contribute to a picture of her as warm, sharp, and engaging.
Joey* September 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm Don’t write about your kids. Some people, sometimes without meaning to assume you’ll always need time off and can’t work late. They’d rather hire someone single who doesn’t have a family to worry about. Besides, it can raise discriminatory issues based on the stereotype that mothers are the primary caregivers. Is it me or do most people just make cover letters a lot more complicated than they should be.
fposte* September 14, 2011 at 6:56 pm All that is really, really industry and workplace dependent, though. What I’m thinking is that Rebecca also scored by connecting with that workplace’s culture, which she may have gleaned from research or may simply have been fortunate to match out of the box. It’s not that cover letters are so complicated; it’s that they’re a big chance, and people want to make the most of that chance. It’s useful to see how cover letters have succeeded in doing that for applicants. What’d be even more interesting is to see both the position posting and the cover letters that made it to interview for various jobs, to give people an idea of the variety of successful approaches and also how you can, at least sometimes, see the relationship between what an organization asks for and what they’re happy about getting.
Rebecca* September 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm OP again. I feel like I should give you a little background on why I ever decided to mention my kids in the first place. I have done a ton of volunteer work for all their different activities (managing teams, community/public relations, fundraising, etc.), and there is a section on my resume that details this experience – it is an important part of who I am and I did learn lots of valuable skills that also have helped me professionally, plus it helps fill in the gap from when I stayed home with my babies. (My kids are older now – high school and college.) If someone is not going to hire me because I’m a mom, then I probably don’t want to work there anyway.
SME* September 14, 2011 at 4:47 pm Rebecca, what I particularly loved about your cover letter is how much of a sense of (a wonderful!) personality came shining through. I think it’s easy for us job seekers to forget that as we write cover letter after cover letter. I appreciate the reminder!
Joey* September 15, 2011 at 1:42 pm I’m just sayin that most HR managers cringe when they see any mention of kids/family in your resume or cover letter for the reasons I mentioned above. It happened to work in your situation, but I would find another way to showcase those particular skills.
Anonymous* September 14, 2011 at 7:21 pm Very inspirational. Thanks AAM for posting this and special thanks to the OP for allowing it to be posted! Even if it is copied, I don’t think it could be done the same way you did it!
Kim* September 14, 2011 at 7:42 pm While I find this an interesting and personality-filled letter, I still think I would have a hard time actually using this informal/conversational tone in a cover letter. I’d think that older, by-the-book companies (such as mine) would actually laugh at this type of letter, and push it aside. I could be wrong, but this goes against everything I have learned in the past about cover letters! That being said…next time I apply for a job, I will have to give this method a try.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm I think that worry about informality stems from a misunderstanding of what good writing is about. Good writing actually is NOT stiff or formal; it’s easy on the ear, flows well, and conveys its substance along with some degree of personal flavor.
Lina Souid* September 14, 2011 at 10:13 pm Does that mean you should be using shorter sentences and paragraphs to make it sound more like a conversation?
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 10:16 pm I don’t think length of sentences or paragraphs really plays a role one way or another, although of course they shouldn’t be unusually long or choppily short.
Verrocchio* September 14, 2011 at 9:11 pm Honestly that was the best letter you have read? I was not impressed at all for several reasons. The children mentioned is just never a good idea formal or not it is just bad taste. The entire letter really had a very email and informal quality to it. It is fine to be friendly and make it personal but saying how awesome you are and you can afford me. That really sounds to me as if you are trying out for cheerleading. I would say overall not impressed and I am surprised you are impressed Allison.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 14, 2011 at 9:16 pm Yep, “email and informal quality” is good, as I’ve written above. Good writing is not stiff and formal. And I totally disagree that the way she mentioned motherhood was in bad taste; it worked.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 7:21 am Do you disagree because it worked? It could have gone the other way if the person on the otherside had decided that it was fluff. Like she says, they clicked thats the biggest reason the letter worked.
Irena* September 15, 2011 at 9:00 am She got the call because of the letter so she must have done something right. Unless you are in politics or on Wall St. or a really button-up type of company, this type of letter would work in any industry/company today. You have to get the “feel” for the company so you know how personal you can get. Mentioning kids was a bit too much but it was the right thing to do in this case (OP’s explanation above). It actually benefited her.
Anonymous* September 14, 2011 at 9:20 pm Her letter showcased her personality and the company decided that her personality and skills would be a great fit in their organizational culture. So, she got a job that was a perfect fit for her. If she had sent that identical letter to a different organization, it might not have fit well with them and the application might have been thrown out. But, she wouldn’t have wanted to work there anyway. Taking a risk like this works well when you know the culture you are applying to and/or only want a job that you know is a good fit (i.e., you are happy with your current job and would only move for the perfect job).
Rona* September 14, 2011 at 9:27 pm I wish I received letters like this from our candidates when we have positions open! Great job, Rebecca!
Verrocchio* September 14, 2011 at 9:35 pm I just need to say that it is not the best cover letter ever. I would say it is more of a decorative type of cover letter. Really this can only be used so often and is certainly not the best out there.
BC* September 14, 2011 at 9:47 pm I agree. It’s a good cover letter, not great. I’m glad it worked out in this situation and resulted in a job offer. A few parts were written awkwardly, but hey. To each his/her own. And in this crappy economy, we should be happy when one of us lands a job.
fposte* September 14, 2011 at 9:47 pm “Every so often”? Actually, you can probably only use it once, because it’s so clearly specific to the person and the circumstances. That’s key to its greatness. That is, I think, kind of the point, because what’s not so great? Generic cover letters that can be used over and over again for just about every position because they show no individual engagement with any of them.
HRanon* September 14, 2011 at 10:10 pm Wow. I haven’t even seen her resume, and I want to hire her. I don’t have an opening in this sort of position, but I want to hire her anyway. I am constantly dismayed by the flood of bad or no cover letters, poorly written resumes and all the other “don’ts” Allison and others cover. We are a desirable employer in a large city and even in this job market have enormous difficulty finding qualified applicants for well paying, higher-than-entry-level positions. We are usually willing to compromise on hard skill or education requirements for the right go-getter, motivated person, but alas- hiring these days has become one of my most dreaded tasks. I second Allison- Best. Cover. Letter. Ever.
Lina Souid* September 14, 2011 at 10:15 pm I third, hmm that doesn’t really work. I agree with Alison and HRanon.
Anonymous* September 14, 2011 at 10:59 pm I have a very similar story to the writer of this cover letter and after having worked in career services I think that cover letters are all about giving a genuine sense of who you are and what you bring to the table – they need to capture your essence (both personality and history) in your absence. My cover letter worked- and then I was very upfront in my interview about being a single parent because my husband is deceased. Legal or not-the reality is that is what I was bringing to the table and if it wasn’t going to work for the employer then I did not want the job and while I wouldn’t mention it in the cover letter, it worked for this example. I got the job –and LOVE it.
jones* September 15, 2011 at 12:01 am I like this letter – it’s fun, easy to read, and very direct. I always thought my cover letters were good, because I pride myself on “being a writer,” but never do my letters sound like this example. The only thing (for me) missing from the letter: a solid reason she’s interested in that particular company — or, for that matter, that position. I understand she mentioned it being the perfect opportunity, but then she just explained her experiences. I actually do not see why this letter couldn’t be sent to other jobs — it has loads of personality, but still appears generic and applicable to any job requiring good project management skills and a flair for writing. The great aspect of this letter is that the writer presents herself as confident and knowing herself thoroughly. Formal cover letters, I’d think, can make a person seem not to exude confidence because she is trying *too* hard with her writing. AAM, I wish you could analyze all of our cover letters! Like I said, I feel like mine have personality, but still come off a bit formal. Of course, my personality is fairly formal and professional, even in my social life. Which then begs the questions: What *if* one’s personality isn’t bubbly or super friendly? What is a “formal person” to do? Does the person w/o the conversational tone not get the job?
Sarah G* September 15, 2011 at 12:48 am Awesome, thanks for posting! And @Verrocchio – you’re writing is awkward and full of grammatical errors, so I’m not sure why you’d be criticizing someone else’s writing.
BC* September 15, 2011 at 1:24 pm He’s criticizing it because this is a blog, and that’s his opinion, and as far as I knew, we weren’t living in a communist country. So relax.
Sarah G* September 15, 2011 at 12:50 am And speaking of grammatical errors, I meant “your” writing. Oops!
None* September 15, 2011 at 5:03 am I did not like that coverletter at all. Pretty unprofessional in my opinion. I’ve had several jobs without resorting to writing letters like that. Let your skills speak for themselves!
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 15, 2011 at 8:51 am There’s nothing unprofessional about writing like a normal person. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way some people decided that professional must mean formal, and it’s just not true — as evidenced by the large number of hiring managers who get excited by letters like this. You can always find someone who disagrees with anything, of course, but the vast, vast majority of hiring managers are thrilled when they get a letter like this.
fposte* September 15, 2011 at 9:33 am I also think there’s more to it than just formal vs. informal. This was fluent and eloquent, with assurance and style that suggested a high level of writing skill in various situations. That’s different from somebody who sends a cover letter in chatspeak because they don’t know how to create a polished piece of writing. Conversely, when I’m hiring the young and inexperienced, I often like to see a little more formality to know they’re familiar with non-colloquial writing (and speaking)–but again, it needs to be fluent, not stiff, and if you’ve got polish and assurance, a more informal style is just fine.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 15, 2011 at 9:38 am Exactly. It’s good writing, not chat speak. I’m hoping people understand there’s a difference and that informality doesn’t equal slovenly. Someone out there is doing people a disservice by not teaching writing better. I’m convinced that people who learn to write really well — not just technically well, but well meaning that it also hits your ear in a pleasing way — learn it from reading a lot, not from school, because too many schools teach writing as “thesis sentence, supporting sentences” and don’t help kids learn the rhythm of good writing. Whoops, tangent.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 7:12 am Yep, interesting tone for a cover letter… But really? “I know what you’re thinking – that yes, I am the perfect person for the job, but there is no way you can afford me. But I’m not in it for the money – well, I am, but it isn’t the most important thing. I’m looking for a position where my contributions count and my efforts are appreciated – and hopefully a long-term commitment. ” Does anybody buy that at all nowadays…unfortunately comes off cheesy ..but thats me! It worked for her, so Yay! But yes, I am inspired to see if I can loosen up my cover letters as well…
Rebecca* September 15, 2011 at 7:58 am The reasons I wrote this letter in this style had a lot to do with the way the ad was written. It was obvious that the company owner had a sense of humor (they were looking for a marketing god/goddess) so I wanted to show them my humorous side. I’ve had jobs where it wasn’t a good fit culturally, and really didn’t want to do that again. As for my line about “I know what you’re thinking…” I totally agree that it was cheesy and I couldn’t believe I wrote it myself. But I had a feeling that he was looking for someone not afraid to show confidence – and I was right.
Long Time Admin* September 15, 2011 at 9:20 am Very interesting letter you wrote, Rebecca. I don’t hire/fire/manage anyone, but you sound like someone I would like to work with! As for the cheesy “I know what you’re thinking..” phrase, another way of saying it might be “If you’re thinking…”. In fact, I’m going to file this whole post away and when I get laid off (I know it’s coming, I just don’t know when), I’ll use your letter for inspiration.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 8:19 am Well it’s always easy when you have kids and your family to talk about ( and yes the way you write the letter is helpful) but what if you don’t have that? What if you really don’t have much experience in that field or much working experience in general, and there’s nothing happening in between that you can talk about?
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 15, 2011 at 8:45 am You’ve got to figure out why the employer should want to hire you, and talk about that. (But no, you shouldn’t normally talk about your family; Rebecca was unusual in doing it in a way that worked.)
Long Time Admin* September 15, 2011 at 9:23 am I’m piping in here again. I used the opposite “husband & kids” remarks in interviews before. Because I didn’t have a husband or kids, I wanted to stress the flexibility in my schedule, so I brought it up whenever the interviewer would ask about unexpected overtime. I don’t know if it helped or not, but I try to look for any advantage I might have.
LP* September 16, 2011 at 3:54 am I’ve thought about doing this a few times myself, but have ultimately decided to leave out all family references when possible. It might help me get the job, but I don’t want to help someone discriminate against another candidate because that person has a family and I don’t. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it – I just feel guilty myself. It’s far more likely to help your chances than hinder them.
Anonymous* September 16, 2011 at 8:09 am It doesn’t mean that the one that doesn’t have any kids is always the lucky one when it comes to getting hired. I was once told that that the reason that i wasn’t hired was that “we had to give the job to a single mom instead cause she needs money.” And I don’t?
iCinSi* September 15, 2011 at 10:03 am Overall, it is a friendly and compelling cover letter. I like it. But what is “riding herd”? Is that supposed to be “riding hard”? “She Who Must Be Obeyed (earned for riding herd on the account executives and graphics geniuses). ” And yes, it goes against the grain, but in a good way. It is great to see that there are real people reading cover letters who appreciate a less formal approach.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 15, 2011 at 10:05 am “Riding herd on” is an expression that means “keeping close watch on.”
JReichert* September 15, 2011 at 10:31 am It’s a cowboy term – a version of “riding the herd”, keeping tabs on. Sounds better than micromanaging!
Rebecca* September 15, 2011 at 10:56 am Graphics/creative types don’t always share the same vision of the account executives (and vice versa), so instead of letting either side head off course, I kept them both moving in the same direction – because at the end of the day, we had to complete the project for the client. Sometimes it was more like herding cats than cattle! :)
v* September 15, 2011 at 10:41 am Wow, that was… completely opposite to what I tend to write for my cover letters. I have to admit, though, I don’t think I could pull that type of a letter off in any case because it’s also opposite to my personality. I know this isn’t possible, but it would be nice to see another type of a good cover letter, something that is a little less enthusiastic (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and a little more… grounded perhaps? Something one could realistically claim as their own even if they are only good enough, not perfect.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 10:48 am I so glad you posted this Allison. Personally when I write cover letters I worry about coming across as boastful, so I fear writing a letter like this, which is probably to my detriment because I tone down my accomplishments. Also I’ve always used a more formal tone, which I realize still may be needed in certain cases, but this proves that can be a limiting restraint too. A great demonstration that personality and pride in your work do have a place in a cover letter, especially when done well. Great inspiration! One of the most valuable posts I’ve seen on this site.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 11:34 am Personalizing cover letters really does work! Once I started improving my writing and making my letters sound like “me” I started getting many more responses. Of course, it depends on the company and the type of position, but this author obviously tailored her letter to fit both. Reading this cover letter made it seem like the author was speaking to me, I loved it. Definitely and inspiration!
Rebecca* September 15, 2011 at 1:19 pm I am so thankful to all of you for all the kind comments. I’m feeling very warm and fuzzy! A couple of closing thoughts: To those of you who didn’t like it – to each their own. Of course this wouldn’t work for everybody. My field is marketing communications and I was replying to an ad looking for someone who could write compelling copy. Do you think they wanted to see something standard? No. Regardless, I encourage you to find your own voice for whatever your field is. Mechanical, rote letters are never good. For those of you who were inspired – if you end up changing your cover letter style and it gets you more notice, please share it with me on my blog (http://whitfieldsilver.wordpress.com). I’ll be writing about this whole experience over the weekend and would love to hear from anyone who was helped by it. I don’t mean that as a shameless plug – I truly am interested in hearing from you. And a big thank you to Alison for sharing my letter. It’s been an exhilarating experience!
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 2:59 pm Huh. Yeah, this would be laughed at in my field. While I agree that good writing is about readability, flow and coherency, the informal tone would not be respected. Certainly, if the ad you’re responding to is, itself, informal, you have more leeway. Not saying that it’s terrible, not at all. I just feel like there’s a lot of words and not a lot of actual substance. There’s a lot to be said for being able to be concise, too.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm No substance? The whole letter was substance — way more so than most cover letters, which tend to just summarize the same info that’s in the resume! In any case, it got her the job, which is the goal. And I regularly hear from people who tell me that they didn’t start getting interviews until they changed their cover letters to be more in this model so while no one approach will work everyone, it seems kind of laughable to criticize an approach that regularly pays off for people, in a market so tight that tons of great people aren’t even getting calls.
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm I’m also thiking it all depends on the job, the company, your skills but also on what you put on your cover letter that relates to the company and/or the job you are applying for. Sometimes your cover letter can work for you and other times it works against you. My opinion of this letter is that it is “nice”; it portraits a nice person, but alo a professional cover letter CAN still remain professional and personalized and not be so stiff and too official. However, this particular letter, although professionally written, is a bit too personal, and says a lot about the applicant who, as a recruiter, I would not hire if I came across this letter. But, it worked for her and for the company.
Sandrine* September 15, 2011 at 3:33 pm I think the letter was nice, overall. But I think some people might be missing the point It probably wins because it was “so personalized and adapted to the job it was sent for”. THAT is what a cover letter is supposed to be, THAT is what we should aim for. Not the style of the letter, not the actual info in it… just to have the job and the letter match (as well as the environment if possible) . I probably could not use that format myself because with my handwriting it would get too long, but what I love is that : – Rebecca READ the posting. She KNEW the environment. – She tailored her letter to match the above. – It worked. It could have been a standard letter to work in a lawyer firm, or a letter to work in a bank, as a teacher, as a HR representative… it’s not about what you put in or how, but WHY you put it in. So congratulations of understanding the ad and the environment so well Rebecca. I hope I can do the same next time I have to send a cover letter. Would this be the reason why you think this is the best cover letter ever, Allison ?
Anonymous* September 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm ITA with this! I think the lesson here is that you can take risks with your cover letter, but make sure it is an informed, calculated risk.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 16, 2011 at 1:20 am I think that’s a good explanation of it. In part, Rebecca was responding to the tone of the job posting. But, that said, even if it had been a more generic job posting, this type of letter is in general much more effective the standard, generic letters most people send. I know there are people here who want to argue that point, but there’s just loads of evidence to the contrary, filling up my email inbox from readers who got jobs this way.
Sandrine* September 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm (woops, missing one piece of punctuation. sorry. message did not post the first time and I guess my brain went kablooey)
Nyxalinth* September 15, 2011 at 5:59 pm Oh gods, I wish I’d seen this two hours ago! I was writing a cover letter a place I’d really enjoy working with. In the ad they asked to ‘Tell us about yourself” and I did the interview approach to that: keeping it work related. Ugh. No wonder I never get interview offers except from crappy fake marketing jobs or to sell insurance. I’ll admit that at first I was all “OMGS, this goes on, and on, and on…aren’t we so supposed to keep it short? Is it actually a good approach to be this wordy?” Must be, since Rebecca got the job! Re-reading it, my own ‘straight to the point’ cover eltters come across rather blah. I’ll try the longer, more personalized approach. the worst that will happen is absolutely nothing, which is no worse than I’m getting right now. :)
Domart* September 16, 2011 at 2:42 am Would a cover letter like this work going through an application system, or through recruiters? I totally get how it works with a job ad going to an individual, but what about something like Taleo or through a recruiting agency that’s handling a job search?
SME* September 16, 2011 at 10:01 am It probably depends on the type of job and the type of recruiter. At the staffing company where I currently work, cover letters are totally irrelevant. It might be different elsewhere.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 16, 2011 at 11:01 am I was recently managing a search that used an online application system. I was horrified by how few people included a cover letter, even though it was specifically requested, and how bad the ones that were included were. If someone had sent a personalized cover letter through that system, unless they were wildly unqualified they would have immediately moved to the top of the list for a phone interview.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 16, 2011 at 9:04 am One poster was posting dozens of times with, in some cases, outright nasty comments. I removed them.
Dmaz* September 16, 2011 at 10:55 am Rebecca seems like she’s older with many years of experience to back up her informal tone. I feel like she’s allowed to write a letter like this people who are doing the hiring, probably also around her age, will think “oh what a great personality, someone I can really get along with.” I am in my mid 20s, just out of grad school. I feel like if I wrote something like this, the HR rep would think “We can’t hire her, she’s clearly immature and has an inflated ego! She won’t be able to do the work required her because she has such a high sense of self-worth.” I hear it SO much from people, even those in their 30s, that today’s 20-somethings are lazy, have big egos, and don’t do what’s asked of them. I feel like a letter like this would only fuel those kind of stereotypes that I think hurt my generation. Please speak to whether or not this cover letter format is appropriate for younger job seekers.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 16, 2011 at 10:57 am Sigh. Yes, it’s appropriate. Look, you don’t want to do exactly what Rebecca did in her letter; her letter works because it’s customized to her and the job she was applying for. The point to take away here is that you want to write letters that are warm and engaging, have personality, explain why it’s a strong fit, and add new information to your application rather than just summarizing your resume. If you think you’d need a decade-plus more experience to make a case for being a strong fit for a particular job, it’s not the right job.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 16, 2011 at 11:35 am Here’s a link to Rebecca’s post on her own blog about her cover letter and her responses to some of the thoughts here: http://whitfieldsilver.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/an-eventful-week-and-then-some/ And huge thanks to Rebecca for letting me post such a great example of a cover letter (and dealing with having it picked apart). I can’t urge people strongly enough to go more in this direction; you will see results.
Rebecca* September 16, 2011 at 11:55 am When I said yes to letting you post my letter I figured there would be a handful of comments and they’d all be about the same: “huh, never thought of doing it that way.” Boy, was I wrong! I’ve been inspired by this in a whole other way. once upon a time I was an English teacher – time to put it to use! My blog has a section on Writing Exercises. I’m going to put together a few lessons on writing in a conversational tone. People – writing does not have to be stilted and sound like a robot wrote it. Open up and let your personality shine through!
clotilde* October 21, 2011 at 1:53 pm How do you mention in your cover letter if you didn’t graduate from University? That’s always my problem…
Ask a Manager* Post authorOctober 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm In most cases, you simply wouldn’t mention it at all.
clotilde* October 21, 2011 at 3:42 pm But wouldn’t they think I am hiding it? I don’t want to lead them on. I have a decent work experience to be honest but when I get to the part of a cover letter about University status, I feel quite inadequate. (PS. Your blog is a big big help!)
Ask a Manager* Post authorOctober 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm Nope. You’re not obligated to address anything at all about your degree in a cover letter. Or in a resume for that matter.
clotilde* October 27, 2011 at 12:00 am I see now. Oh one last question. How long should a cover letter be? I know it usually says keep it to one page but one of the companies I am sending my application to indicated that the more detailed the application is the better. I’ve edited it several times and made it concise…but it’s still over a page. Would I really lessen the chances of being read thoroughly if it’s too long? Anyway.. thank you ever so much!
Anonymous* November 1, 2011 at 12:04 pm I used this as a springboard for my own cover letter- made it less formal and very personal. At the interview, the head of the agency said that my cover letter got me the interview, because it really showed how I would fit in their office, and how well I understood the demands of their work. I tend to interview for positions where there are tons of people with very, very similar resumes, and the cover letter is the only way to stand out.
Brandon F.* November 4, 2011 at 2:03 am Great article – and, better yet, proof to those of us in the liberal arts fields that jobs can still be found… we just need to use our creativity to separate ourselves from the masses. Thank you for sharing this!
Bisma* November 9, 2011 at 12:34 am Thanks so so much for posting this. Just reading it once gave me so many inspirational ideas on how to fix my cover letter. It’s so difficult to figure out how to standout, and every cover letter “sample” you find online nowadays are the standard cookie-cutter layouts that put me to sleep. This is a refreshing read and a style that should definitely be utilized more often. =)
Anonymous* December 2, 2011 at 1:42 pm It’s very inspirational…but, it’s over 400 words. Isn’t this a huge no-no?
Ask a Manager* Post authorDecember 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm Nope! You want to avoid going over one page, but this fits fine on one page with room to spare (in 12 point font, not some crazily small font).
Anonymous* December 2, 2011 at 1:59 pm Thank you so much for the lightning-fast response. I have been toiling over my cover letter, worried about word count, being too “cutesy,” etc. My field is beauty editorial, which should be lenient with how creative the cover letter can be, but I have submitted to 10 jobs that I am more than qualified for, and have heard back from none. Back to the drawing board.
Anonymous* January 6, 2012 at 2:56 am I thought candidates weren’t supposed to tell a potential employer they would be a perfect fit/best candidate for the job.
Anonymous* February 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm I can understand why the writer chose an informal tone given the nature of the employer. But while the writing itself is good, there’s a lot that bothers me about this letter in terms of content. So much of it seems like puffery without any proof. Let’s break it down: ¶ 1. “I’ve had lots of jobs. Let me list some for you. I work really hard and all my clients like me.” ¶ 2. “I did lots of stuff at my old job. Here are some examples reiterated from my resume. I had to do work at my old job, but I enjoyed it because I am diligent.” ¶ 3. “My work has always been really good. It’s because I work hard to make sure it’s not mediocre. Here are some other tasks I’ve done.” [The only worthwhile line here is this: “I pride myself on my ability to recognize and articulate a distinct voice for every project.” She’s describing an actual skill, and she’s proves through her writing that she has it.] ¶ 4. “I’m responsible and really good at keeping deadlines and managing my time.” [I guess the writer sort of demonstrates this by mentioning her kids, but it’s a weak argument.] ¶ 5. “This is me being facetious. *teehee* But seriously folks, I just want to do work that isn’t pointless. Also, I’m not a flight risk. Here, have another joke!” Aside from the use of humor at the end, the letter amounts to nothing more than saying, “I’m qualified because I do good work and am diligent.” How is this meaningful? Every candidate would say the exact same thing about themselves if given the chance, and hiring professionals should know as much. Her letter doesn’t prove that she has any of the qualities she claims. She just SAYS she has them–over and over again–while occasionally restating job duties that should already be in her resume. The only real evidence of her ability to work hard is the fact that she wrote a really long letter. Look, I’m sure the writer is good at what she does. I’m just confused as to how her letter proves that. Once you take out all the unsubstantiated claims about being a good worker, all that’s left is a list of prior experience. Isn’t that what the resume’s for? After all, why would someone list a job on their resume and intend for it NOT to convey that they’re qualified and hard working? What’s the point of the cover letter then? What meaningful information does it add? Again, taking away the little joke at the end and the one line about articulating a distinct voice, the only thing I got out of this letter was that author is really good at baseless self-aggrandizement. Maybe that’s a valuable skill in certain industries, but if you’re applying to be a secretary, technician, etc., it’s totally irrelevant. Unless a cover letter conveys something more substantive, it seems borderline unjust to base a hiring decision on something so arbitrary. I guess an elaborate cover letter can indicate that an applicant actually wants the job, but since when did the ability to convey eagerness become a meaningful measure of anything?
Ask a Manager* Post authorFebruary 9, 2012 at 3:16 pm No one is hiring anyone based on a cover letter alone. But people do get interviews that way. And no one can “prove” anything about themselves through a cover letter either. What this letter does is come across as engaged, enthusiastic, interesting, smart, and compelling. She’s someone I’d want to talk to, as hiring manager who sees thousands of cover letters, 99% of which are generic crap. She stands out as someone interesting and worth talking with.
Anonymous* February 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm If you can’t prove you’re qualified, diligent, or whatever through a cover letter, why bother claiming you are 15 times in a row? It says nothing except that you think you’re wonderful. No information is being conveyed. You may get a “sense” from reading a cover letter that an applicant is “engaged, enthusiastic, interesting, smart, and compelling.” And I’ll grant you, those are important traits in an employee. But if that’s the case, the entire process is nothing more than formalized small talk, since the only thing you seem to care about is whatever comes across through subtext. You might as well have each candidate write you a poem for all the good it would do. If HR folks actually care whether applicants have the soft skills you mention, they should be more thorough in screening for them. At the very least, you’d think they’d know better than to automatically dismiss as “crap”, as you seem to, every applicant who fails to properly perform some arbitrary and often difficult social ritual.
Ask a Manager* Post authorFebruary 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm I think you lack a fundamental understanding of how hiring works and what employers are looking for, and why something like this would stand out in a sea of things that are very much not like this.
Anonymous* May 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm So what you are saying is, recruiters hunt for cover letters that screams all over saying, I am unemployed please help me. So that they can hire them for lesser salary, and since by that time the poor unemployed people would be working like slaves, the recruiters would show these examples as their greatest achivements. Shame on recruiters. That is behaving like a Raven but only in this case, you ravens eat flesh even before they are dead. Slavery never ended in my opinion.
ju* February 21, 2012 at 1:38 am The first sentence of the last paragraph sounded too arrogant for my liking… “I know what you’re thinking – that yes, I am the perfect person for the job, but there is no way you can afford me.” Was this really necessary? The rest of the writing clearly shows she has confidence in her ability. I just feel like too much confidence isn’t perceived as a positive for most positions.
Rebecca* February 26, 2012 at 10:43 am The ad I was responding to was very clear that this was for an entry-level position and that they were looking for someone right out of college and/or someone willing to work for low pay (lots of promises of raises/promotions), that’s why I phrased it that way. Yes, it comes off as a little pompous, but it was in keeping with the tone of the ad as well.
Teresa* February 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm I will be graduating this May and I needed a great cover letter. When I read the one posted here I loved it, and formed mine close to the one posted here. The problem my teacher did not. When I turned in my cover letter she said it was to long and it needed a lot of work to look professional. I give up… she was in Human Resource before she started teaching and at thos point I dont have any idea what a Human Resource Manager would consider a great cover letter.
Ask a Manager* Post authorFebruary 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm You can always find someone who will disagree with something; you need to judge your sources and decide accordingly.
Anonymous* March 1, 2012 at 1:07 am i cant for the life of me write a cover letter like this. all my letters sound like form letters.
Teresa* March 1, 2012 at 9:25 am Thank you for your kind words however, I rewrote the letter to look like everyone elses for a better grade. Its boring and it doesnt stand out among my fellow students but at this point its all about the grade.
Renee* March 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm While this letter was unique, it smacked of presumption and it was much too long. There is a fine line between the ability to project confidence and the unfortunate braggardly disposition – this letter, though I’m sure unintentional, comes across as braggardly. A hiring manager in a busy and competitive work environment might rather see a cover letter that sells well in under four paragraphs and with much less use of the first person singular.
Ask a Manager* Post authorMarch 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm Wow, I disagree. It’s true that in general you don’t want to write this long, but it worked in this case — there are exceptions to every rule, after all. But this just shows that there’s no way to please everyone, and that’s worth remembering!
Amit sekhawat* April 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm “I’m responsible and really good at keeping deadlines and managing my time.” [I guess the writer sort of demonstrates this by mentioning her kids, but it’s a weak argument.] “I know what you’re thinking – that yes, I am the perfect person for the job, but there is no way you can afford me.” Was this really necessary? The rest of the writing clearly shows she has confidence in her ability. I just feel like too much confidence isn’t perceived as a positive for most positions. “It’s also an example of how it’s okay to break the standard rules if you do it in a way that works — mentioning your kids wouldn’t normally be a good choice in a cover letter, but the way she did it here is perfect.” I’m curious as to why it works here. Beyond the empirical “she got the job, didn’t she”, what’s the spark here that others should strive for? (I’m trying to say this so it doesn’t sound challenging, but I do wonder if it’s the humor that makes it work, and if one of those things that doesn’t work for everyone. Best advice my best friend ever gave me before an interview: “if you think of something clever to say, don’t say it.” I think I’m pretty funny, but I’m also tone deaf to when I’m not being received the way I intend.)
Ask a Manager* Post authorApril 18, 2012 at 5:31 pm I wish I could break this down and explain exactly why it works, but — to me, at least — explaining why good writing works is sort of like trying to explain why a piece of music works. It just … does. The flow is great, it’s engaging and friendly, she comes across as remarkably competent … that’s all I’ve got :)
Anonymous* May 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm Having been in HR for over 20 years the example of a cover letter you have provided would be beneficial for a sales position only. Why do people assume we, HR employees who are the first to read your cover letters, want to waste our time reading a fluffed up letter of what someone thinks they can do to make our company better. You are very wrong. We want you to present the facts, your skills and accomplishments, clear cut.
Ask a Manager* Post authorMay 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm Um, guess what — it worked for a non-sales position and there are lots of hiring managers here who liked it to. I’ll never understand why some people present a subjective negative opinion as universal truth.
Realistic* May 15, 2012 at 11:30 pm She sounded a little too cocky. As an HR manager, I would be skeptical of her cockiness getting in the way of team work. I think it is important to point out or strengths but not be cocky about it. I beleive getting her point across in a professional matter (stating the facts of where she’s been and where she wants to go) is all that it takes to get the attention of the person reviewing the applications if one does carry the experience and qualifications. Personally and professionally, this cover letter set a tone that was not appealing to me. Over doing it does not draw in attention either my friends.
Monique* May 29, 2012 at 2:06 pm I just wanted to say that I re-did my entire cover letter based on this style and got a bite within a day of applying for a program associate position. I didn’t copy a single word, except for the “So let’s talk soon” and it was one of the first thing’s that the HR recruiter mentioned to me. She told me it caught her eye and she felt like she could go grab a coffee with me. thanks again for posting!
eh.* June 3, 2012 at 2:53 am One more year, and there will be a sea of all-alike, colorful cover letters :) And again, nothing standing up, just more sleepless hours to write cover letters, and fill them with jokes and ‘vivid pictures’. Don’t you, HR, think, it is a bit overkill with this all system of 1) formalizing things like ‘cv’ ‘cover letter’ and then complaining how boring it is to read.
Anonymous* June 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm I congratulate the writer for getting the attention of the hiring manager and, best of all, for winning the job. My own experience would indicate this letter is three times longer than most HR and/or hiring managers will read.
Tami M* June 18, 2012 at 3:51 pm I’m barely 1/4 down in reading the comments, and am so inspired, that I’m going to take the leap out of the box, and go for broke. There is a position that I would really like to learn more about, and am preparing for the application process. When I compose my cover letter, I am going to just keep it real, in a professional manner, and see what happens. I’m so used to the old way of writing them with stiff, stuffy language, that it’ll be a stretch for me, but I’m sort of excited about it. Thank you to everyone here for showing me that it’s OK to infuse my personality, and that it just might help me stand out. And even if I don’t get an interview, I’ll at least feel better about representing the real me. :D I’m so stoked! :) And thank you to Rebecca for getting this conversation started. I applaud your courage and kindness.
Quo Vadis* June 30, 2012 at 8:28 pm Nice work, Rebecca Z., and all of you job-seekers who successfully remolded your approach thanks to her inspiration. I’m wondering what you guys would do with my own challenge: (1) I plan to apply for a job, preferably in the music industry, but want to steer far clear of anything remotely Bieberesque. (2) What I really need is about two years of R&R, following serious burnout from an eight year service-industry venture. I poured everything I had into it, and am now sucked dry with mush for brains. This does have the unexpected upside that I am 100% safe in the event of the coming zombie/vampire apocalypse. (3) Part of #2 stems from my being a chronic insomniac, with severe depression–according to experts, I may also be bipolar. Think “Sam the Eagle” (of Muppets fame) with the added appeal of broad mood swings and huge bags under the eyes. (4) After months of exhaustive self-examination I can identify zero passions in my life at present. Somehow, this fails to yield compelling and refreshingly optimistic cover letter copy. OK, there’s my challenge, and now you are free to take a stab at it! [Hints: you can’t suggest clinical help, change of location, becoming a psychotic albeit brilliant supervillain (already did that once through a temp agency–very sub-par benefits package), or reading the collected motivational works of Tony Robbins.]
Laura L* July 1, 2012 at 5:27 pm This does have the unexpected upside that I am 100% safe in the event of the coming zombie/vampire apocalypse. Ha! I literally LOLed at that. Maybe you should try to START the zombie apocalypse. Then, when you’re the only living human left, your problems won’t matter anymore.
Quo Vadis* July 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm Curses! I knew I switched to a vegan diet too soon… Well, Laura, maybe I can administrate the apocalypse. There’s always a need for middle management.
Gary A* July 15, 2012 at 10:54 am I’m amazed to read all the back-patting here! Are any of you truly hiring managers? If this came across my desk I would never read it, as it’s far too long. If I did, the personal info overload would turn me off more than entice me to request an interview. The Internet is an AMAZING place where you can get some really great info and then there is info like this “praised” CV. KISS…. Three paragraphs, what you’ll do for me, what I can expect from you and make me feel it was written for me and not every posting you clicked “apply.”
Anonymous* July 25, 2012 at 9:56 am I think what I’ll do for you is exactly what you can expect from me. I’m not sure what distinction you’re trying to make between the two things. It sounds like you want your potential employer to feed you false promises and then deliver a harsher reality all in the same letter.
Anonymous* July 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm Thank-you for posting this. I wrote a cover letter after reading this that got me an interview the very next day. I think this helped to see how flexible I can be in a letter and that it’s ok to be yourself. They offered me the job!!!
Tami M* July 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm Congratulations!!! I wish you all the best, and hope this turns out to be your dream job! :D Did you accept?
Anonymous* July 21, 2012 at 11:11 am While I will agree that cover letter is more exciting to read than most, it is WAY too long. It could be much more concise while conveying the same information. And the more concise, the more likely the potential employer is to read the whole letter.
Anonymous* July 21, 2012 at 11:15 am Also not the best idea to tell your potential employer about how many kids you have. It shows that you may have to take off time/leave early/come in late to tote them around to soccer practice and dance class. While this may be your reality, better to keep it quiet until after you’re hired.
Anonymous* August 2, 2012 at 4:25 pm Terrible. After 100 cover letters there is no way I am going to read 400 lines ! The CV itself is so much more sufficient for me. I would only sent such a cover letter to NASA so that I can impress them. Not every job is a “NASA-LEVEL” and if you think we should consider all jobs to be “NASA-LEVEL” you need to wake up now !
Ask a Manager* Post authorAugust 2, 2012 at 8:59 pm If you really feel that way, you’re not doing a very good job of screening candidates.
Anonymous* August 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm I’m more happy with short cover letters. Granted, it really depends on the field – I once filled a cover letter asking for an interview with stuff about how nerdy I was, how often I play XBL, and then skills, back to more nerdy stuff because the environment was a laid-back culture with X-boxes in the break room and the dress code was jeans and sandals casual, and most of the employees were self-taught or recent graduates. But as far as short cover letter goes in web design – I’m happy with an short statement like, “Hey, I saw your ad for [position] and I looked at your company website and dig that you worked with BIG CLIENT. I’m interested in applying for [position]. Here’s a link to my online portfolio, and my resume is attached (and it’s also on my portfolio). Best way to contact me is [email, cell phone]. I look foward to hearing from you.” Basically a heads up about stuff that you’re sending me.
Anonymous Today* August 5, 2012 at 8:43 pm I just got a cover letter with the same first line of each of these paragraphs. I only noticed because the first sentence of each paragraph felt much more natural and conversational than almost every other cover letter I read — then realized that they sounded really familiar and went back to this post for confirmation. For some positions, this wouldn’t be much of a problem for me, since the applicant did fill in hir own personal details, but this is for a position that requires quite a bit of original writing. It’s not a complete disqualifier, but it certainly doesn’t give me confidence that this person can turn out top-notch original work. AAM readers, please know that some (many, probably) hiring managers read AAM too!
Anonymous* August 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm Thank you for this inspiration. I am generally a good writer, so all the boring cover letters I had been sending were kind of discouraging. I wouldn’t have written me back, either! I wrote one that really felt honest and I feel confident that I will get noticed, even if I don’t get a job.
Sienna Geary* August 28, 2012 at 8:41 pm Thank you so much for posting this great example of how a deviation from the standard rules can actually work. In my experience as both a career practitioner and an employer, I have found that often the rules are meant to be broken. Of course we teach people how to write a well-worded, concise and organized letter, however it can get tiring reading these all day long. I hope that your readers can see Rebecca’s example as an inspiration and not pick it apart- it obviously worked ;)
Cruciatus* September 3, 2012 at 11:04 pm I found this with a Google search of “Fantastic entry-level cover letters.” The cover letter got me really excited because I’m always trying to insert a little more personality into my cover letters but I always end up taking it out before I send them. Unfortunately, I just don’t know if this will work for me. I’m always reading about “the machine” that scans cover letters and resumes looking for the right phrases/words that match the company’s wants–in the last year all of the jobs I’ve applied to have been online only. There’s a job I really want in an administrative position (never thought I’d say that) at a reputable company. Though I’m not positive, I believe they might actually like more personality in a cover letter but I don’t know if there’s a natural way to show personality while talking about MS Word, Excel or the other qualifications they’re looking for. But maybe I’ll just try keeping the little bits of personality/enthusiasm in this time and see what it gets me. I have a Master’s degree but am working a dead-end job for barely more than minimum wage and have only had one interview in the 12 months I’ve been applying to other jobs. It can’t hurt to shake things up!
Snotty Sue* September 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm Of course someone somewhere out here in Internetland will “steal” this cover letter, if they want to use it. Everyone steals resume/cover letters, etc. from the internet. Let me define “stealing.” Mimicking the style, format, maybe a phrase or two. Who doesn’t? Why did you post it for the world to see then tell everyone they are thieves without your permission to steal “your” product. The “go to” person wearing multiple hats is unoriginal, tired and worn out. Sounds like poor time management or lack of delegation. Maybe she can find a job parting a sea or walking on water somewhere. It was an enjoyable read though.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 5, 2012 at 9:05 pm Wow, you are indeed snotty. And no, posting something on the Internet is not permission to take it and use it as your own. In fact, copyright law makes that explicitly illegal.