short answer Sunday — 6 short answers to 6 short questions

It’s short answer Sunday — six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. Out-of-town job is flying me in to interview — what if I accept another job and have to cancel?

I have a job interview scheduled in another state. The potential employer is booking paying for the flight and a hotel stay for my husband and me. It is two weeks away. In the meantime, I have another job interview with a second employer — a job I want more. If the first employer books the flight, and I cancel it because I accepted the second employer’s offer, what happens? Should I offer to pay for the flight?

Well, to some extent, it’s a risk they took when they agreed to pay for your flight (and the hotel, but that’s nearly always refundable). It’s a cost of doing business — or at least a cost of interviewing out-of-town candidates. There’s always risk built in; they could end up hating your interview, or they could offer you the job and you could turn it down. That said, it’s not ideal and you’d at least want to acknowledge how very sorry you are.

2. Managers will only reward based on seniority, not merit

I work in a medical office with five other people, two of whom are the owners. I am a very hard worker and I push the limits of my position wherever I work, which is personally rewarding to me. Starting as a weekend replacement to them four years ago, I have since worked my way “up” to more responsibilities then any other employee. I have many back office tasks and responsibilities that are undefined but solely mine; like being the only employee who interviews new hires, I do all of the training, handle all patient complaints and disputes, and am asked by my bosses to coach my coworkers in sales and patient care, etc.

I enjoy all of these tasks, but the big problem… They have reiterated that we, the four staff members, all have the same position and that pay is primarily based on seniority. They refuse to assign any different title for me or to define my differences to the other staff members but still ask me to act as superior. It feels clear to me that I should stop taking on these tasks if they are not in the job description that everyone shares.

I don’t want to “turn off” my aggressive work ethic and my bosses have never expressed disagreement with me being so proactive, but I feel it is to a point where they need to choose: 1) I continue working to the same expectations with a title change and change in pay grade -or- 2) I stop doing the extra tasks and work to the level of my coworkers. I have lost faith in the fact that my hard work would pay off and now feel I’ve been used for whatever they could get from me. Am I seeing this clearly? Should I be taking a different approach? How can I affectively communicate my frustrations and show them my perspective?

You should be searching for another job, because a workplace that rewards solely based on seniority and not on work quality, and which refuses to distinguish between great work and okay work is not a workplace where you will thrive. Nor is it one that deserves the type of employee you sound like.

3. Should I mention I’m seeking career counseling in my cover letter?

I am a job hopper. The following is a brief work history (from least recent to most recent): 2 years and 9 months (part-time workstudy), 3 years and 4 months (part time, full-time, part-time retail), 6 months (internship), 4 months (temporary position), 4 months (regular, full-time), currently 4 months and wanting to leave (regular, full-time). I unintentionally keep accepting positions that require a certain ability, personality, or traits that I don’t have.

I realize my lack of self-awareness is a big problem and have been considering seeking a career counselor to help me figure out my strengths and weaknesses and the jobs that would utilize those strengths. Is that something I would be able to put on my cover letter to show potential employers that yes, I know I have a problem and am working to fix it, or is that not a good idea?

Nope, that doesn’t go in your cover letter. First, it draws attention the problem, and second, it’s an inappropriate over-share that has nothing to do with your ability to excel at the job they’re hiring for.

By the way, the only job hopping I see in your history are the two most recent jobs. Internships and temp positions that are designed by their nature to be temporary don’t count as job hopping. It’s just the two recent ones that might be an issue.

4. Interviewer asked if I had any pending offers

I had a phone interview recently and was asked if I was in the interview process with any other company and did I have any pending offers. Do they really care?

Yes. They’re asking because they want to know if you have time constraints they should be aware of — like if you were likely to receive an offer next week. Sometimes if you’re a strong enough candidate, they’ll expedite things on their end when that’s the case.

5. How to follow up on a rejection that left the door open

I went for an interview last month with a small organization. I got through the first round and met the executive director for a second round of interviews. I thought they went well, but I ultimately didn’t get the job. The primary interviewer for both interviews sent me a really nice email saying how much they liked me and thought I’d be a good fit for their organization but that I didn’t have the experience they needed for that position. At the end of the note, she did say that there might be another job posting in a couple of months that I would be more suited for and I should let her know if I would be interested. I replied back with a thank-you note and said that I would be interested in the position.

After that, our messages have stopped and the job hasn’t been posted yet. Should I be trying to keep in touch with her in some way or should I just keep my eyes open for the posting? And if I should keep in touch, how should I go about doing that? Alternatively, if I don’t keep in touch with her now and the job is finally posted, should I send her a message after applying or just apply and trust that she will see the application?

In six weeks, email her and say you wanted to follow up on the position she mentioned they might be posting soon. Tell her you’re really interested and would love a heads-up when they’re ready to talk to candidates.

And yes, once you apply, send her a quick email letting her know that you did.

6. Does “a couple of weeks” really mean two weeks?

I had a final round interview with my dream company exactly 2 weeks ago. After the interview, I asked for the timeframe for the next step and the interviewer said, “We will contact you in a couple of weeks.” I’m getting jittery now. Should I send them an email asking for an update now that 2 weeks have passed? Or should I wait more? If they say “a couple of weeks,” would they be annoyed that I contacted them after only 2 weeks?

Wait until it’s been three weeks and send over an email reiterating your interest and asking if they have an updated timeline.

Hiring nearly always takes longer than the people involved in it expect it to. Really, you should mentally double any timeline you’re given, at least as far as adjusting your own expectations go. (Plus, “a couple of weeks” in this context really means “a few weeks, more or less, maybe more.”)

{ 67 comments… read them below }

  1. Corporate Drone*

    #1: No, you don’t offer to pay for anything. That is part of the cost of doing business, and your T&E for that trip is already budgeted. This is simply another expense that they expect. Flying you in for an interview is not promissory or the part of either party, either. I was once flown from the east coast to the west coast for a series of all day interviews, including one over lunch, and got a “thanks, but no thanks” email a few days later. I doubt the employer felt guilty about that at all, and neither should you if you need to cancel at the last minute. Good luck with both!

    1. Judari*

      This. Plus they can write it off as a business expense I believe as well so they would never be loosing money on it.

      1. Canuck*

        While this is true, it doesn’t mean the cost is free because it is a business expense / write off. It just means the business doesn’t pay taxes on that amount.

        “Kramer, do you even know what a write off is?”

        “No, but those big companies do, and they’re the ones writing everything off!”

        :)

        1. Judari*

          True but businesses budget for this sort of thing if they offer it. The point being you aren’t putting them out by it so you shouldn’t feel you “owe” them.

    2. Kara*

      Yep – my company recently flew a candidate across the country twice and didn’t make him an offer. It happens. Don’t feel guilty!

  2. 7*

    For OP 2…Please look for something else. Please feel free to let them know why when you put your two weeks in.

    1. Jamie*

      Yep – nothing is as demotivating as lack of acknowledgement.

      Some employees love the seniority thing and others need a meritocracy. I personal would prefer to only work with people who prefer meritocracy.

      1. 7*

        Right. As a business owner I find it unproductive to manage the way they do. I would value an employee with less tenure but substantial output more than tenured mediocre employees.

      2. Jessa*

        I understand a seniority thing when the jobs are the same, but once you start piling extra work on one person the jobs are no longer the same and seniority should not apply. The job should be given a new title, etc.

  3. Kristi*

    #3, Is there any way you can stick it out at your current job until you’ve got a year there? Maybe focusing on that, and working with a coach, will be enough for the next 6-8 months. And eventually, you may be able to drop that four-month full-time job from your resume.

    1. Judari*

      I was going to write the exact same thing. Although I would probably drop the 4 month job stint off the resume anyway. OP seems to have more internship and temp experience to back them up, along with the current position. I would rather have to explain why I have a job gap rather than why I left a position after 4 months on top of leaving my current one after 4 months.

    1. Chinook - Chocolate Teapot Social Coordinator*

      I think that OP#2 could explain that she left because she was looking to grow professionally and that organization had no room for such growth.

  4. Cara*

    Is it common for a company to pay for the interviewer’s spouse’s travel as well, as in #1? That surprises me. If they are just flying him out as a courtesy and you think there is a good chance you won’t accept an offer, wouldn’t you at least let them save the expense of his flight?

    1. Alicia*

      Depending of the level of the position, and the type of role it is, it has been known to happen. I know some of my professor friends had their spouses flown out for the interview process as well.

    2. Marmite*

      If it’s a higher level position then some companies will fly the spouse out too. It allows them to have a look at the area they’d be relocating to, which makes sense as the spouse/family’s happiness with moving will be part of the candidate’s decision making process. I’ve particularly seen this with friends working in academia.

      1. Chocolate Teapot*

        Where I live, there are often people who need to relocate for work, so it is often common to have couples fly over together. One will be interviewing and the “trailing spouse” (usually the wife, but it doesn’t always happen like that) will be looking at infrastructure, schools, areas in which to live etc.

  5. Not So NewReader*

    #3. I interviewed for a job once with a resume that showed a track record not as good as yours is. I was pretty nervous about that.

    I waited for the interviewer to mention it. I pointed out two things- 1) I prefer to stay employed and I do what it takes to get there. 2) Right now my main goal is to find a rock solid employer and stay with that employer for a long period of time. Changing jobs is not fun. I prefer not to do that. I would rather work for one employer and make myself the best employee possible.

    The interviewer had no further questions about my work history. I got the job.

    1. Judari*

      Can you provide a bit more context on #1. I would think saying, “I prefer to stay employed and I do what it takes to get there.” would work more against you. My interpretation of that is someone who doesn’t care about the job they take but just that they will do anything to have one, especially if they have a bad track record. Even though your #2 counters that, how would the interviewer know if they were that “rock solid employer” for you and you wouldn’t leave in a few months. Not trying to pick apart your statement but just trying to understand it. Perhaps its obvious though and my brain is just being a bit slow at the moment.

      1. Not So NewReader*

        Good questions, Judari.
        Regarding point number 1- my jobs were temporary or seasonal (it varied). So, although my resume looked like a mish-mash of jobs, my resume did show that I was continuously employed at something while searching for permanent work. I told the interviewer that this series of jobs allowed me to fulfill my commitment to taking care of my household. (Subtle message- “I am a responsible person and I follow through on my commitments.”)

        Then I segued into reason #2. “BUT. What I REALLY want is to find an employer that is an enduring company where I can stay and grow as an employee.” (Other places had lay-offs, went out of biz, seasonal work, etc. I wanted someone who was rock solid as in providing steady work.) I indicated that I did not want to leave after three months, I wanted to settle in and become acquainted with many aspects of the business. I turned the question around and point blank asked HER if they could keep me employed for years to come, “because this is what I want”. I bluntly said I was tired of constantly job hunting and I wanted to settle into a job and grow as an employee for the company. I asked politely, but I think it impressed the interviewer that longevity was important to me.

        The varied jobs taught me a lot about what I can and cannot do, what I like and what I don’t like. I have worked with all kinds of people and handled many unusual situations. I said
        “This means I know when to ask for help but I can also be relied upon to help with trouble-shooting or special tasks, I am flexible.” I showed her how I would fit in, how it made sense to hire me.

        I think because I had decided inside myself to nail down the job situation- quit floating around- that decision shined through to the interviewer. She knew that I had enough of “job shopping”.
        Like I said, I was very nervous about this interview. Going into the interview I just decided to tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Going from one job to another is very nerve-wracking and I wanted something better than that.

        It was a four plus hour interview that involved… I dunno… 12-15 people (roughly). They later apologized for putting me through hoops. I said “I don’t mind because I got to know your company through the eyes of a dozen plus people.” Again, that was the truth.

        No one particular thing showed my commitment as a serious employee. It was numerous things combined such as my overlooking the 12-15 interviewers (a boo-boo on their part) and explaining my crazy resume and my good references from former employers, etc.

        A committed employee thinks of things to say that a slacker would never think of to say. A good interviewer can readily see the difference.

        1. Judari*

          Ah see that is different then. I assumed you were leaving lots of full time jobs because you said your track record wasn’t as good as OP’s. OP is leaving full-time jobs but you said your jobs were seasonal or temporary and ended for various reasons out of your control. That makes more sense why your work history would be more inconsistent. Your track record then was in fact better than OPs cause, as Alison mentioned, even though you had more jobs they were all temp so its not considered job hopping.

          It would also make sense as why you would give the reasoning of wanting a stable “rock-solid” job that you had the opportunity to be at for a long period of time.

          However in the OP’s case with the track record of leaving 2 full-time jobs in the first four months I don’t think it would apply to. They have had “rock solid” full-time jobs that they personally chose to leave. OP mentioned it was because they were not able to discern the right fit. I believe in your case saying you always wanted to be working (why you continually accepted temp work) and that you are looking for something solid works for you. However in OP’s position and anyone voluntarily leaving full-time jobs I think saying those things still makes them appear flaky.

      2. Mrs Addams*

        I took that to mean that notsonewreader would take any job during periods of unemployment, even if it were temporary, or not the right fit. This would lead to short job stints, but in my mind at least shows notsonewreader is willing to work rather than sit at home waiting for the “perfect” job to come along at which he/she can stay for a number of years.

        1. Judari*

          Agreed. However that doesn’t apply to the OP’s case since they were full-time and not temp jobs. I didn’t know until notsonewreader replied that they had worked temp jobs, makes more sense now.

  6. Not So NewReader*

    For OP #2. I hope you have a written list of all you do and all you have learned in this job. If no, start with a list of things that no one else does and go from there.

    They cannot keep what is inside your head- you take that with you when you leave. And please, do. Leave. Use all that learning and ability to leverage a new job with better pay. Some employer out there will think they found a gold mine when they find you.

    In response to your questions about holding back effort- no, do not do this. Because the person who gets hurt the most in the end is you and no one else. Never let an employer mold you into something less than YOU. Be you at all times. Why. Self-respect. You go home at night and you know you did your absolute best. Continue doing your best every day.

    I had an aunt who worked like crazy. Her employer thought nothing of it– until she retired. The employer had to hire four people to do the work she was doing on her own. She lived independently until she was 100 years old. Well, we can see why. Her work ethic carried over into her personal life and helped her to remain independent well beyond what most people can do. It’s amazing what sustains us.

    1. So Very Anonymous*

      I’m not the OP, but I’m in a somewhat similar situation and really needed to read this. Thanks!

    2. Dan*

      Yeah, I’ll second the “always do what you can to maintain your professional reputation” mantra. If you turn into a slacker and the new job calls this job for a reference, you may very well torpedo your chances at getting the new job.

    3. Anony1234*

      I work in a union environment, and they really base everything off of seniority rather than merit. Even though my direct managers are not union and they do not have a say over my pay because they are not in cooperate, they still rarely verbalize any acknowledgement of when I go above and beyond. But I’m doing exactly what you suggest here – the list. I remember some of the things where I should have at least been given a thank you but wasn’t. All I can do right now in this job is wait until late summer when I get my little raise of about 10 cents for my “acknowledgement.”

      And yes, I will be looking for a new job soon.

      1. Jessa*

        Surprising because in a union environment if you’re getting tonnes of tasks not normally in the job description they usually will lobby for you to get a higher/different job title that actually speaks to what you are doing. Seniority in union shops is usually all about “like jobs.”

  7. Erika Kerekes*

    #1 – I would encourage you to try to work out the timing so that you get to go to the out-of-town interview. If you get an offer from job #2, see if you can delay your response. Personally, I believe in keeping all your options open. Something at the out-of-town interview might surprise you and make you feel like that opportunity is actually a better one, either short-term or long-term. If they’re interested enough in you to bring you in from out of town on their dime, they see value in you. You may very well see the same once you’ve met the team in person.

  8. Just Curious*

    6. Does “a couple of weeks” really mean two weeks?

    I’m wondering how long most readers here usually wait before you start to feel like you’re being strung along and want to tell the hiring company to go pound sand.

    I’ve been on the receiving end of an internal recruiter telling me every few weeks that a decision should be this week, next week, blah blah blah.

    Yesterday morning, I saw the position reposted on LI, after being gone for 2 months. I emailed the recruiter and asked if he had any new info about my status as a candidate. He said the HM did NOT ask him to post the ad, he just thought he’d do it and see what turned up, and he also said a late-entry internal candidate is now delaying the process as they have to interview him. It’s been 3 months since I first spoke with this company, and a month since my final interview — after which I was told I was the “only” candidate and an offer would come soon.

    I feel like if they can’t say yes to me, then sc*** them. I feel like the girl who asks out a guy and doesn’t have the self esteem to tell him to forget it when he says he might go with her if he can’t find another date. But on the other hand, it hasn’t been a completely ridiculous timeline, so maybe I’m out of line.

    1. Dan*

      I was in that position back in 2008. Had an interview and started getting strung along. Unfortunately, it was my first interview, and the economy was in the toilet, so I elected to let them string me along. After two months, they finally rejected me.

      At that very moment, had I had other offers on the table, I would have sent them a note along the lines of “it’s obvious to me that I’m not your #1 candidate, and TBH, you aren’t my number one choice either. Let me do us a favor and withdraw my candidacy.”

      Funny thing is, I was a 100% perfect match on paper, and I thought that was my dream job. That was the first time in my life that I was praying for a rejection. Why not reject them myself? Because I’d rather have a job than no job.

      1. Not So NewReader*

        Very well said, Dan.
        I walked away from what can only be described as a perpetual interview. My thoughts at that time parallel what you have written here.
        In the end, it turned out to be a very good decision.
        Like you are saying “any job is better than no job.” Well in some extreme cases- it is better to be unemployed.

        Just Curious, if they hired you tomorrow, would you be able to calm down enough to do a good job for them? I don’t think I would be able to, myself. And therein lies the answer….

        1. Just Curious*

          Ha! I cross-posted with you.

          That’s a good question. I do think I could do a good job, but what’s creeping in now is the back-of-mind thought: What’s this guy’s deal with me? Why didn’t he want to hire me?”

          I don’t want to start off feeling adversarial, because I’ve felt that way with a former boss/current coworker for about 5 yrs, and that negative relationship is really what’s driving me to look now.

          1. Not So NewReader*

            Yeah… adversarial starts are not a good sign.
            Three years from now when he fails to say “good morning” to you- are you still going to feel the questions echo in your head?

      1. Rana*

        I’d say you’re better served just mentally writing them off and moving on. Withdrawing your candidacy in such a manner might feel good, but it serves no real purpose, and could needlessly burn bridges. Not everyone in that organization is an assh*le, even if it may seem so, and you might want those connections later.

        1. Jessa*

          Exactly. If I really were still interested in the job I might touch back with them in 3 weeks if they said “a couple,” otherwise I’d just write them off and forget about them.

    2. Just Curious*

      Dan & Rana – I’m actually employed & only looking selectively to move on & up. While I’d never tell them to go eff themselves, at this point, I’m tempted to withdraw because I get the impression that the hiring manager just isn’t that into me. It’s basically a 3-person team in a 15,000 person company. We’re going to be working very closely, and if they aren’t excited enough about me to make me an offer now, then I wonder what the HM will be like to work with. I can understand they want to vet other candidates, but I feel like they’re desperately searching for other candidates to compare me to. It was definitely a purple squirrel job description, and I’m as close as they’re going to get (by the nature of the job & industry, I actually know the pool of people who do this type of work, who would do it here, and for what they want to pay). . .I just didn’t gel perfectly with the HM, although the other team member and I clicked instantly.

      1. -X-*

        “I feel like they’re desperately searching for other candidates to compare me to.”

        I don’t see how you can know that.

        1. Just Curious*

          The recruiter has actually been transparent about their process. Two weeks ago the recruiter told me theHM had said that they would get an offer ready when HM got back from vacation. Recruiter said he would contact me late in the week, a week ago. So 1 week after they told me I’d get an offer, the recruiter is reposting a January ad on linkedin. I don’t really think they’re desperately looking for candidates but it’s jarring when you have been told we are basically good to go with an offer to seeing the position readvertised, without them being willing to reject you. Mostly I’m starting to think the recruiter is a huge truth-spinner.

      2. Rana*

        Well, if you want to withdraw on the basis of not clicking, fine, but I can imagine a lot of other factors coming into play with the timeline – company policy about having a certain number of candidates (which, if your pool is as small as you say, could really complicate things), shifts in budget allotments, someone who’s crucial to okaying the decision being ill or otherwise unavailable, a last minute departure of someone else in another department who needs to be replaced with greater urgency, and so on.

        Basically, as a candidate, you only get to see the tip of the iceberg here; if you’re at all interested, what’s the harm in waiting?

        1. Just Curious*

          No harm in waiting, but because of things that have happened described above, I don’t know if I’m interested. Because of the recruiters willingness to be transparent, I have checked in regularly and have been informed when outside factors are causing the delay. First it was vacation, now it’s an internal candidate. The internal candidate didn’t appear until after the recruiter had already told me I was going to get an offer after the HM’s vacation. I feel like I know what’s going on but I also think I am getting half truths at best, lies at worst, just to keep me on the hook.

          1. -X-*

            Your mind is clearly made up. It seems to be based on a lot of speculation about things you can’t know, but you feel it strongly, so withdraw. I don’t think it’s logical or to your benefit in any way to withdraw, but it’s clear you want to. So do it.

            1. Just Curious*

              Actually I have no plans to withdraw, so you seem to be the one speculating quite a bit. If nothing else, I’m interested in seeing the $$ if we get that far. It’s frustrating, but I’ve waited this long, what’s a little longer? I might be walking around p*ssed off in the interim, but that’s normal.

              1. -X-*

                Sorry, yes, I was speculating from whey you wrote “I’m tempted to withdraw”.

                Just as I was confused when you wrote “I feel like they’re desperately searching” and then “I don’t really think they’re desperately looking for candidates”

                I’m still confused about that last bit.

  9. Erika*

    #4 I would urge job seekers to be direct and honest on this question. If you do have a pending offer in hand, if you’re our top candidate, I’ll move mountains to get an offer in hand to you ASAP. So let me now! I’ve personally been the person with offer-in-hand, waiting on my preferred potential employer to give me an offer. If I hadn’t been direct and let them know my time constraints for replying to the first offer, I’d have missed out on what’s been one of the most interesting and rewarding positions of my career so far.

  10. EngineerGirl*

    #1 – The OP is assuming that she will interview with job #2 and get an offer before she ever goes on her trip – two weeks away. I would be stunned that a corporation could move that fast. She may get a verbal offer, but a written one takes longer. And it isn’t “real” until a written offer is given. And what if there is negotiation involved? It will take even longer.

    In short, I think that it will be a non-issue due to the time lines involved.

    1. EngineerGirl*

      Also, the OP is assuming she will get an offer from job #2, which may not be true. There are a lot of variables, and the OP shouldn’t act like she has an offer until she has an offer.

      This is one of those “we will cross that bridge when we come to it” scenarios.

      1. yasmara*

        EngineerGirl, I was thinking exactly the same thing! My husband is job searching right now (while still employed) & it’s been amazing to observe/participate in this process. He had one interview that we were SURE was going to result in an immediate offer (and relocation) and it fell through completely. He has a verbal offer now, but is in salary negotiations & has no formal written offer, so he’s still treating it as if there is no official offer…until you have an offer letter in-hand, agreed-upon salary/benefits, and a start date, the job is not a sure thing…

    2. EngineerGirl*

      Also, I don’t know how the OP can decide which job is better until she interviews with both.

  11. anon...*

    I’m not the OP but I have really appreciated all the comments on the bullying co-worker.

  12. Chocolate Teapot*

    And as Dan puts it above, sometimes what looks like a dream job on paper can turn into a nightmare at interview. (Wierdo interviewer, horrid stuffy office premises, job descriptions which suddenly become very vague etc.)

  13. FiveNine*

    I just might noted that as bountiful a job situation as OP #1 is presenting here with scenarios of rejecting out-of-hand a potential employer who has booked flights and hotel rooms for her and her husband, OP #1 doesn’t actually have any offer in hand from EITHER employer.

    1. Cat*

      I’m not sure why more than one person has felt the need to point this out, to be honest. She didn’t say she did; she was just wondering how she should handle it if the situation arose. That’s not crazy; even if it doesn’t occur this time, it might in the future or an analagous situation might, and so why not get AAM’s feedback if she’s willing to give it? (Same way as it’s useful for us readers to read these posts even if we never encounter the precise situation described.)

      1. EngineerGirl*

        I think the take away is this – don’t act on something unless it is real.

        Don’t resign your old job until you get a written offer on a new one.
        Don’t stop looking for a job just because your current manager has promised you a promotion
        Don’t stop looking for a job because you just had an awesome interview

        Etc. etc. etc.

        It isn’t real until it is written.

        1. Cat*

          Sure, but writing into AAM isn’t really “acting on.” Or do you mean, don’t cancel the interview for Job #2 until you’ve actually accepted Job #1?

          1. EngineerGirl*

            I saw the OP willing to make decisions without all the data. While there is probably a strong desire to stay put, she hasn’t interviewed with either position yet, so doesn’t know what either job entails. She also doesn’t know if she’ll be offered either the job. And there is an assumption that job #1 will interview and get back with her in less than 2 weeks (not very likely) In short, there are so many unknown unknowns that I’m not sure she should be worrying about this scenario.

            Perhaps it is a pet peeve of mine, but I see so many thinking that interview = job offer. It is a naive position to take.

  14. Elise*

    Even after Alison’s topic about the subject, people are still referring to “dream company” or “dream job.” Is that legal?

  15. Andy Lester*

    When they say “We expect to get back to you in a few weeks”, then clarify it! “So, I should contact you after May 15th to check up if I haven’t heard from you?” Ten seconds of conversation at the time saves hours of agonizing and writing to AAM.

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