update from the reader working for her parents’ dysfunctional business

by Alison Green on October 16, 2013

Remember the reader trying to leave her parents’ dysfunctional business and getting told she was a terrible person because of it? Here’s her update.

I quit September 15th as planned, but there’s been nothing particularly thrilling for your readers… no fireworks. I’m getting the silent treatment, I think, which, despite the intent behind it, has been wonderful. She’s badmouthing me a little behind my back, but that’s it. The guy she hired to replace me is probably going to crack soon and quit due to the disorganization, judging from the texts I’ve gotten from him literally pleading for me to come back. I expect my mother is going to come back crying crocodile tears about how much she neeeeeeeds me once he leaves in disgust.

…which I won’t be doing because I just landed a new job! I will be working at a highly rated boutique catering company as assistant office manager. It’s a slight pay cut, but I will also be working approximately 10 fewer hours per week and get to partake of the free staff lunch made by the chefs every day. While it is obviously too early to be sure, the company culture of upbeat, well-grounded, Mac-using, muppet-loving foodies seems like an excellent fit for me.

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{ 40 comments }

{ 40 comments… read them below }

      1. Jessa*

        SO jealous of working for a muppet loving company where they feed you gourmet food. WOW. And come back to us when you need boosting cause ma is being OMG COME BACK!!!!!!!! and you need to be reminded – you do NOT need that chaserai and tsimmes one little bit.

  2. Jazzy Red*

    I’m glad that you didn’t have to deal with fireworks. I know it must have been difficult for you, but it sounds like you handled it very well.

    Congratulations on the new job! Having a good fit with the corporate culture is so important. I hope you enjoy your new job for a long time.

  4. Jamie*

    Good for you! And describing your new colleagues as Muppet loving is awesome and I’m sure that bodes well for it being a fabulous fit! Who doesn’t love Muppets…(and I’ll pretend I didn’t see the mac thing – because I’m happy for you. :))

  6. Interviewer*

    So glad to see this update! I’m sorry that it’s a pay cut but obviously free lunches are a wonderful bonus. Best wishes for continued success.

  7. PJ*

    Oh, I was hoping we’d have an update from you! Icing on the cake that it’s a happy one! Go forth and prosper, you muppet-loving foodie!

  10. NutellaNutterson*

    You’re working for the Swedish Chef?! Congratulations!!!

    Seriously, though, be prepared for some bounceback emotions as you get settled in. It’s a big mental shift to work somewhere functional. You learned all sorts of behaviors and thought patterns to survive in dysfunction, and that was important then, it was adaptive. And now you get to learn new behaviors and thought patterns – skills to succeed in a workplace with healthy boundaries and expectations.

    You’re going to rock it. There’s literally free lunch!

    1. AnonEMoose*

      Just chiming in to say “Congratulations!” and to agree with this. You may find yourself falling into some of those weird dysfunctional patterns. Try not to beat yourself up if it happens, just try to recognize that it’s happening and work on developing healthier ones.

      And unless your parents’ employee is actually a friend of yours, those texts need to stop. Seriously inappropriate!

      1. Another Emily*

        These texts are concerning. If this person is your friend, didn’t you warn him not to work there? If this person is not your friend, why is he texting you? Make a clean break with the dysfunctional workplace and tell him you can’t help him anymore. As you know, nothing but an actually functioning workplace could fix his job anyway.

        I’m so glad you have a great new job. Congratulations!

    1. Lindsay*

      +1: I gained twenty pounds at my first desk job when I got a free lunch everyday! But free fresh lunch is soooooo good!

      Congrats, OP!

    2. Rayner*

      Aaaaaand who mentioned needing weight watching advice? Maybe that’s the kind of thing you need to wait to be /asked/ for.

  12. Ash*

    the company culture of upbeat, well-grounded, Mac-using, muppet-loving foodies seems like an excellent fit for me.

    Will you hire me too?! As long as I can keep using my Windows phone though…

    1. COURTNEY*

      Windows Phone!!!

      I love mine and my co-workers think I am nuts. I am the lone wolf in an iPhone obsessed workplace.

      1. Jamie*

        I’m jealous. I have an iPhone because that’s what I deeply at work, but my family all has Windows phones and I just marinate in envy.

        I mean, my iPhone is fine…but it’s not Windows.

        1. Rayner*

          I loved Windows all the way up until they did Windows 8 thing.

          It’s hell for someone who has learning difficulties and I wish they’d never done it.

          Now, next computer WILL be a Mac.

          1. Jamie*

            Windows 8 was made for tablets and they should never have tried to roll it out to desktops. I skipped Vista and I’m skipping this.

  13. Andrea*

    Muppet-loving foodies? I want to be friends with these people. For reals.

    OP, I am so glad things are working out for you!

    1. Lanya*

      I want to join in too! Just the muppet part would be great in itself, but the food part makes it great x10. Best of luck, OP and I’m so glad you got out of your bad situation!

  14. Sydney*

    That sounds like a great new place to work. I’d want to work there if my job wasn’t equally awesome.

    Good job on sticking to your plan. In five+ years, you won’t look back and regret that decision.

  16. Ann Furthermore*

    What a great update! Good for you for being strong enough to follow through with breaking away from your family’s business. Many people would have been sucked back into the vortex of dysfunction.

    And your new job sounds great. Any job that provides a free lunch — made by professionals, no less — would be pretty awesome!

  17. Bea W*

    Best part of all? No whining parental guilt trips or being treated like you’re still the boss’ minor child!

  18. anon..*

    that’s wonderful news! congrats and please do continue to update us. best of everything on your new job, and independence.

  19. Ruffingit*

    This is a great update and kudos to you for having the guts to get out and move on! And yes, the silent treatment often backfires on people who practice it because they don’t realize that silence is exactly what their target wants from them. Congrats on the new job and good luck!

  23. Beth Anne*

    Awesome! I would love to work for a company that uses macs….since I use one at home…every Monday I have to relearn control c from command c lol

    Man those lunches sound awesome! And I thought our free Friday breakfasts were awesome.

  24. Ellie H.*

    Congratulations, that sounds fantastic!
    That reminds me of my favorite catering company to use to cater meetings. They have the best customer service imaginable and are super well organized. I would LOVE to work there and get free lunch!

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