did I blow this job opportunity?

by Alison Green on December 1, 2013

A reader writes:

I just want to know if I handled this situation right.

I am fresh out of college and finishing up a course online, which requires some intense work because it’s a lot of work compacted in a short amount of time. I applied to many different jobs, and I got a phone call from one of the employers requesting an interview. They said it can be “any time at my convenience,” and since I had a lot of coursework to work on and I was leaving the country after my work was done, I told the girl on the phone that the day after I get back would be good, which would be two weeks from when they called. She noted that and gave me a time to meet at and the call ended well. I didn’t mention that I had school work to do, but I told her when I leaving the country.

About 30 minutes later, she left a message on my cell phone saying they filled the position. My dad got so mad that I didn’t schedule an interview earlier and started yelling that I blew it and it’s all my fault, etc. As I got more irritated with all the negativity, I ended up calling them back and asking why they chose to cancel my interview and go on to hire someone else. She told me they had a second time applicant come in and decided they were what they wanted. My parents told me they think that the employer thought I wasn’t interested because I scheduled a date too late, while I thought they had this applicant in mind and if I didn’t have better skills than the other then they would hire that other person. When I called back to ask why they chose someone else, the girl on the phone sounded really irritated with me. She spoke in a “what part of ‘we filled the position’ don’t you understand?” tone of voice and it made me feel bad for calling back and asking.

Did I do the right thing by calling back? I’m still mad at myself because I possibly could have done the interview earlier but then I would feel like I wouldn’t have gotten the job anyway.

Well … no. It wasn’t really reasonable to call back and ask why they chose someone else. If you had already been interviewed and then rejected, it would have been reasonable to ask for feedback on how you could be a stronger candidate, but that’s a different question — it’s asking for feedback to help you in the future versus asking them to justify their hiring decision to you.

For what it’s worth, it is a little weird to be told 30 minutes after scheduling an interview that they filled the position. I suspect that what happened is that they decided they didn’t want to wait two weeks to interview you, and decided to go with whoever their top candidate already was. In many cases, two weeks is a long time to ask to delay an interview — and especially with an entry-level position, where they probably have many qualified candidates, it can knock you out of the running if they’re trying to move quickly. I know that they told you that the interview could be “any time at your convenience,” but that doesn’t really mean any time. Usually it means “within the next week or so.”

There are other possible explanations too, of course: It’s possible that they had already filled the position before you were called, and the woman calling you wasn’t yet in the loop. Or it’s possible that they had an offer out to someone else, but they have a policy of continuing to interview candidates until their offer has been accepted, and it was accepted soon after you talked to them. Or something else. But the most likely of these possibilities is the one in the paragraph above — they had a candidate they liked, they were willing to talk to you because you looked promising, but they weren’t willing to wait two weeks to do it.

So yeah, you made a couple of mistakes here — you took it literally when they told you that the interview could be any time (in general, assume that sooner is always better with interviews, because if a candidate they like comes along, they could always hire that person and short-circuit the rest of the process), and you didn’t frame it quite correctly when you called them back to ask what happened. But these are pretty minor mistakes, and not uncommon when you’re right out of school and learning how this stuff works.

Meanwhile, it might be smart to stop sharing pieces of your job search with your dad if he’s going to yell at you and tell you that you’re blowing things, which he really can’t know from the outside.

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  1. Anonymous*

    it might be smart to stop sharing pieces of your job search with your dad

    This is a really good idea. From personal experience, job hunting becomes less stressful when your parents don’t know every little detail. This might be hard, especially if you’re currently living with them, but it’s better for everyone’s sanity.

    2. Emily M*

      I second this. It hurt me to withhold information from my mother during my most recent job search, but it really was best for both of us. She’s incredibly anxious and I have to work so hard not to slip into the anxious habits I’ve had modeled for me since birth – keeping my cards closer to my chest kept us both happier and healthier.

      1. Anonymous*

        Oh yes. I’m very familiar with the anxious mother. She loves me and means well, but she’ll always tell me to “play it safe”.

      2. saro*

        I’m pregnant and am not sharing my anxiety with my mother. It’s a high-risk pregnancy and I’ve even asked her not to tell my extended family (they feed into her neuroses). I like to keep it positive and vague – it’s been so helpful!

        Good luck with your job search!

    3. Amanda*

      That’s true, but if parents help financially during the job search, it’s reasonable that they might want to be kept in the loop.

      1. Ruffingit*

        I disagree. So many people make the mistake of thinking they’re entitled to details/to give their opinions to someone they are financially supporting in some way. Not so. As the person who is asked for money, you’re entitled to say yes or no to helping, but that’s it. If a parent is supporting an adult child through a job search, they can either believe it when she says “Yes, I am doing all I can to make the job search fruitful” or not.

        If they don’t believe that, they can withhold support if they so desire. But knowing the details of a job search or of life in general is not helpful especially when many parents are woefully out of touch with how things work in the job search arena (as we’ve seen numerous times here on AAM).

        1. Anonymous*

          What??? People can most certainly put terms and conditions on giving the money. Or they can make it a gift. The receiver can choose to accept or not.
          But telling the giver that they have no right for input? I think not. Unless it’s a gift.the giver has every right to ensure that the investment is being used well.

          1. Ruffingit*

            Yes, they can put terms on giving the money, absolutely. My point is that simply giving money does not AUTOMATICALLY entitle you to comment on a person’s life or choices. You can either give money or not and put your own parameters on doing that. But you cannot expect that simply by giving money you are then entitled to all details.

            I have had people ask me for money when they needed it. My choice was to give it or not. If I gave it, I did not then require that the person allow me to continually comment/educate them on the good/bad use of the money. They are adults and what they choose to do with their lives is their business. If I choose to fund something for them, my part there ends with giving/not giving the money. If I think they’re not doing what they should be doing, then I don’t give them money. But that’s where it ends. I don’t require them to send me a spreadsheet of how they’re spending every dime and/or to lecture them on what they need to be doing.

            1. Green*

              This is a bit unreasonable. The receiver of the money should generally assume it comes with strings attached, and accept it or not on that assumption, and everyone involved will be happier.

              Don’t care to know what your mother-in-law thinks about the floral arrangements, the cake, the date, the wedding location, the meal selections, the invitations, the music, etc. for the wedding? Then pay for the wedding yourself and do whatever you please. Don’t want your parents’ input on your college? Get the loans in your name and go wherever you like.

              1. Jamie*

                There is a difference between giving money earmarked for a specific end – although I would still argue if a parent pays for part of a wedding it should be a gift to their child and spouse to be that helps the couple have the wedding they want, not use money as leverage to get your way.

                But a lot of parental help during the early adult years while living at home before established is living expenses. There is a difference between expecting money given to be used as it was agreed upon and thinking that because you’re paying for food and utilities you have a right to micromanage every aspect of your adult child’s life.

                If someone isn’t trying to work or has issues with taking advantage that’s one thing, but I certainly don’t think my kids are only entitled to room and board if they do everything the way I would.

                1. Green*

                  You are arguing about how you think it “should” be, but I am arguing that–given the reality of most situations–the recipient should just assume that funds come with strings attached and accept it or not on that basis. Most people don’t announce the “strings” up front, which would also be ideal, but they nevertheless often have expectations regarding their role in how the money is spent.

                  If you like to live your life independently and without the management of others (as I do), then you should plan on paying for it yourself. If your child is not able to live independently (which requires earning your own money and spending only what you make), then the parent may (rightfully) assume there’s still some parenting/teaching left to do. If you want to be treated like an “adult”, then go move out and be an adult.

                  I know it’s tough out there to get a job and all that, but this is part of the reason my 34 year old cousin and his 32 year old sister are still living at home off their parents while spending the money they make at their part-time jobs on video games instead of car insurance and their parents throw up their hands and say they have no control over the situation, while paying said car insurance (and car payment, and grocery bills, and health insurance, and mortgage, and utilities, and gas).

                3. Jamie*

                  I firmly agree that if one wants full autonomy one needs to pay their own way in life…absolutely.

                  I don’t micromanage the lives of my kids, but as long as they live in my house they do live by my rules regarding visitors, cleaning schedule, etc. That’s not so much trying to make them conform as it is my just insisting on controlling my own comfy environment. So, sure, there are built in downsides to that.

                  And regarding your example, I don’t think that’s the result of money without strings as it is no consequences to irresponsibility and enabling bad choices. My kids are younger, still in college, and so this is the time for them to test the adult waters while still having a safety net – but if they were to drop out and slack around not working toward advancing their lives then yes, that would be a problem.

                  So while I’d never be able to let my kids to hungry, homeless, or without medical care as long as it was in my power to provide it for them – I would have huge issues supporting adults capable of doing so themselves. So I guess I do have conditions on support above and beyond the basics but my conditions are that they are responsible and working on preparing themselves to be self supporting. I just don’t see that as telling them what to apply from how to apply, picking their majors, etc.

                  I find this stage of life interesting as it really is a complicated time of resetting boundaries and learning how to relate outside of the typical parent child dynamic needed when they are little.

                  For example, buying a used car for the first time can be daunting. I can’t imagine just handing over some helping money and letting a 18 or 20 year old go buy a used car without guidance, without insisting either my husband or a mechanic look it over, teaching them to do a title search, etc.

                  By the same token I can’t imagine buying them one I find suitable and bringing it home as a done deal. How will they learn what questions to ask and what to look for without being involved in the process?

                  The middle ground is if you’d like us to contribute to your car it needs to be safe, reliable, and a decent deal. If you want to do it yourself without our input or involvement then you’re doing it without our money and if it falls apart the consequences are yours – I’m not maintaining a pretty beater no matter how much I love the owner.

                  Just like we pay for school and they are free to study whatever they like within reason, but if they came home wanting a major that was just for academic curiosity with no career path…they are still more than welcome to live at home and I’ll still feed them – but tuition? We need to work something out, either convince me with facts on how this will help you become self sufficient or pay for it yourself and show me how you plan on becoming self sufficient aside from this.

                  I.e. I am not forcing them into IT or accounting, but I’m not paying for clown college or a school without accreditation.

                  So in thinking about this I’m not opposed to conditions – I just don’t think they should be used to emotionally control or micromanage.

            2. Jamie*

              I cannot this this enough.

              Help, or do not. Sure, you can put conditions on it – when I give my kids my credit card to pay for classes at registration they aren’t allowed to instead use that money to go away for the weekend.

              But sure, if you think someone is being irresponsible or a freeloader you can withdraw support, but helping someone out financially doesn’t mean you can micromanage their lives.

              That said, if any of my kids left a resume laying around that was rife with typos or I felt didn’t convey their skills properly would I silently stand by and let them send it out without offering up my opinion? No. The same way I wouldn’t let them walk around with spinach in their teeth without saying something. I absolutely have offered advice, and I’ve mentioned it when I saw a help wanted sign in store that one of my sons had repeatedly said he wanted to work at but they rarely have openings. So I don’t think it’s always wrong to offer up opinions and tbh my kids bring this stuff to me to get advice. Not that they always take it, but then I don’t require everyone on the receiving end of my alleged wisdom to obey.

              Conversations tend to have a more positive effect than shouted edicts and criticism.

              2. Ruffingit*

                There’s no way to reply to your post above Jamie, so I’ll do it here. You hit the nail on the head regarding helping vs. micromanaging. There’s a huge difference. Telling someone exactly how they need to be living their lives and what they should be doing is micromanaging. Helping them learn things like how to buy a used car (as in your example) is not micromanaging, that’s teaching and is fair and reasonable.

                I’ve known people who think that giving money to someone then entitles them to give their opinion on every single thing the receiver does and how they live their lives. And that just isn’t appropriate regardless. It’s a major boundaries problem. If you don’t want to give someone money, then don’t. But deciding that you will give it doesn’t entitle you to micromanage their lives. As I said, if you feel they aren’t doing what they should be doing, then don’t give money, but that is as far as it goes as to what is your business vs. their business.

                I have a relative who would often say “Well, if I don’t tell so and so how to do (insert whatever life task here that was none of relative’s business), I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces (financially, emotionally, etc).” And I told said relative “Actually, you don’t have to pick up the pieces. You don’t have to do anything at all. If you decide to do so, then OK, but that doesn’t entitle you to tell the person how to live their life as you see fit. You only get to decide if you’ll assist them.”

                1. Ann Furthermore*

                  This is so true, and it should be this way. But add family to the mix, and pretty soon you’ve got a recipe for disaster, or at the very least, a lot of meddling.

                  When my husband and I were first dating, one night we went to a BBQ at my sister and her husband’s house, and my parents and 2 of my brothers were there too. At the time, my parents were, in one way or another, to one extent or another, financially helping out my sister and her husband, plus my 2 brothers.

                  In the car after we left my husband made a remark about how my mom is definitely the “matriarch” and I laughed. Then he said that he could tell that one the one hand she was very proud of me because I was on my own and supported myself. But on the other hand it ticked her off a little bit because she knew that since she wasn’t supporting me at all, she had no business telling me what to do or how to live my life.

    4. FiveNine*

      This is really important. Dad, without meaning to, effectively has already interferred in OP’s relationship with one employer who had expressed interest but is now somewhat soured. Dad could torpedo OP’s sense of being able to navigate the hiring process, and perhaps push OP into the first (inappropriate) job to come along too. OP, some jobs are so low-paying that if you stay there a year or more it’s financially almost impossible to get out of them (get time to interview, have money to be able to withstand the temporary lapse in pay, have money to move if necessary, heck, have money to get a haircut or fresh underpants, etc.)

      2. Green*

        This places a lot of responsibility on Dad. Don’t think Dad should have yelled (but being 22 not so very long ago, I had a tendency to describe discussions that resulted in me feeling embarrassed about something as them “yelling at me”, so I tend to take the description with a grain of salt there), but this is a good opportunity for OP to learn that she controls her reactions to other people and that she is the only one responsible for her communications with employers and her job search. Blaming the fact that she doubled down on her errors on her dad is a bit like the OP who said that her cousin made her a fake resume… This OP called the employer and that OP sent in the fake resume.

        Learning to stop and reflect before acting is a pretty valuable job/life skill.

        And, OP, I have effed up many a job application. Shrug, put it out of your mind, and move on to the next one to do it better next time. Which is what you should be doing until you start a job anyway.

        1. Zillah*

          I don’t think that’s a fair comparison at all.

          Having someone make you a fake resume is dishonest, and you actively participate in that dishonesty by accepting help in making a fake resume and then in sending it out. It’s an involved process that requires calculated decisions.

          In this situation, the OP made a poor choice that seems to have been motivated in a large part by a simple lack of confidence and knowledge about job searching.

          Continual dishonesty =/= one poor judgment call.

          I also think that it’s really important to point out that while it’s very easy to say “stop and reflect before acting,” it’s a lot harder to maintain emotional distance when you’re in a situation where you feel vulnerable and unsure of yourself, especially when someone you’re close to and generally trust is telling you that you did something wrong.

          1. Green*

            Yes, it’s hard to maintain emotional distance, but that’s what you have to do in the working world to succeed. You have to make good decisions. And when you can’t control the people around you, you have to control how you react to them. That’s one of the most important principles in workplace conflict management.

            Rash interactions with employers and co-workers can have bad consequences. This isn’t a dire situation for OP, but is an opportunity for a lesson learned.

        2. anonymous*

          “but this is a good opportunity for OP to learn that she controls her reactions to other people”

          That isn’t an excuse for bullying behavior. There was no reason for the OP’s father to shout at her for a pretty understandable newbie job-hunter mistake, and while you might have been hyperbolic about being shouted at, plenty of other people aren’t. Verbal abuse is actually a thing that exists with sad frequency and victims of it shouldn’t be blamed that they’ve been conditioned to obey under that kind of pressure.

          1. Anna*

            You’re reading a lot into the OP’s original one sentence. Your parents yelling at you does not equal bullying or abuse. Sometimes it does, but it’s far more likely that it doesn’t. If we’re going to start reading so much in to the OP’s letter, then can we assume the OP hasn’t been doing a very good job search and that she’s using the last of her savings to go out of the country even though her parents asked her several times not to and that she hasn’t been paying them rent so they’re super pissed that she’s using all this money for a vacation?

        3. Kou*

          “this is a good opportunity for OP to learn that she controls her reactions to other people and that she is the only one responsible for her communications with employers and her job search”

          Which is absolutely true, but you’re taking way too much responsibility off dad here. Sure the OP is an adult, but she’s an inexperienced one who is still in great need of guidance from her family. She controls what she does, but as to what she thinks she *should* do, she lacks the gift of experience to know when dad is totally off-base and how to appropriately handle that. If she already knew when her mentors were wrong, she wouldn’t need mentors at all.

    5. ew0054*

      Living with parents can be tough. You need to just ignore them, especially if they are the procrastinating, worrying types. Just do what you feel is right for you. Otherwise you are living the life they would have wanted in their hindsight, it is too late for them.

      1. Rachel*

        “You are living the life they would have wanted in their hindsight, and it is too late for them.”

        OH. THIS.

        SO MANY of my friends need to read that sentence. It ASTOUNDS me how many parents use their children as means to correct their own mistakes/regrets in life. So unbelievably selfish and puts so much burden on their children, who end up feeling guilty about building a life of their own as a result.

        1. Jamie*

          It is FAR more likely that parents just want to help their kids avoid the mistakes they themselves made so their kids have an easier road.

          Relationships and communication in families is imperfect, but I don’t know anyone who is trying to relive their own lives through their kids. When you see them doing something that you know will make life harder for them or could end badly you want to protect them. Can you over protect them? Sure, it’s impossible to walk the line perfectly every time, but the vast majority of parents the intent is that your kids have a better and easier life than you had…it’s for them, not us.

          1. Anon for this*

            Not always the case though. My mother’s failed dance ambitions saw me doing 30 hours a week on top of school growing up, with every half-pound counted and berated for. I’m still now struggling with purging – so it can have serious effects on kids. Some of my friends parents were similar.

            But I realise that this is probably a lot more prevalent with stage mums relative to normal ones.

            1. Xay*

              There are a lot of sports parents who are the same. You’d be surprised how many people are trying to relive their failed dreams through their children.

    7. holly*

      yeah, no more sharing with the parents unless they can learn to control themselves and act like adults.

  2. Anonymous*

    This is super-nitpicky but it really bugged me in this letter:

    The person on the phone is a woman, not a “girl”. It sounds like you’ve assumed, possibly without reason, that she is just a messenger. That might be true – she might be an admin scheduling an appointment. However, she may well be your hiring manager, or an HR rep, or similar.

    In any case, she is a person you were potentially intending to work with if this job had worked out; it would be a good idea to stop referring to potential future colleagues as if they were children.

    2. Jen in RO*

      To nitpick back, you can’t know if the caller would mind it. I’m almost 30 and I still think it’s weird to refer to myself as a woman (and yes I’ve read all the discussions on AAM). I’m lucky that my language had a female version of ‘guy’, which is a good middle ground, but if I had to choose between ‘woman’ and ‘girl’ for myself, I would choose ‘girl’. The OP just needs to know that some people of the female persuasion don’t like being called one or the other and make an informed choice.

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        It’s not so much about whether the caller would mind; maybe she would and maybe she wouldn’t. It’s about whether it’s appropriate to refer to adult women as girls, particularly in professional situations — and it’s really not. Whether or not one particular woman doesn’t mind doesn’t change the fact that it’s (a) inaccurate and (b) minimizing/demeaning to women in general.

        1. De*

          Thank you. I do mind that very much (especially being a woman in IT) and I’d bet more women mind being called “girl” than being bothered being called “woman”. It’s like using “Miss” – when in doubt use the expression that will not be found demeaning.

          1. Lacey*

            Just the other day someone repeatedly referred to a colleague and I as ‘girls’, and we’re both a year or so either side of 40. It was incredibly grating, if he’d done it one more time I think I would have actually said something but fortunately he stopped in time.

            I was ok with it for quite a long time, but seriously, when I’m pushing 40 I’m not a girl anymore.

          2. Wren*

            Yes! It bugs me when people use “Miss” to refer ro women clearly old enough to be their mothers, or even grandmothers!

            1. Elizabeth West*

              Hell no. Call me Miss. When people started calling me Ma’am, it made me feel sad and old.

              I’m fine with “ladies.” In figure skating, the females are all referred to as ladies and the males as men. So at the elite level, you may have a pre-teen skating against a woman in her upper twenties, but they’re all ladies. And for all the rest of us, anyone not in juvenile can be a pre-teen or an actual senior citizen.

        2. Anon*

          I’ve been trying to get my new boss to stop referring to me as a girl in front of clients/people we work with. I called her on it the first time it happened a few weeks ago, attempting to nip it in the bud. I’ve explained to her that it diminishes my work and it’s really not in the interest of the company if clients and outsiders don’t take me and what I do seriously (I work in a male dominated field and look pretty young, so I’m already fighting an uphill battle, here). Unfortunately, she keeps doing it. I know she doesn’t mean any harm but it bugs me tremendously. :/

            1. Anon*

              It’s only happened once since the first time and, unfortunately, circumstances were such that I didn’t have a chance to correct her. I do plan on calling her on it every time she does it.

          2. tcookson*

            I was working with our budget director once on a paperwork problem, and she picked up the phone to call someone from the business office for their advice. When they answered, she said, “I’ve got one of my girls here, and we’re . . . ”

            One of my girls?!! I didn’t even know what to say to her, that burned me up so bad!

            1. Ruffingit*

              UGH, no. Just no. That is so inappropriate. She should have used your title “I’ve got my assistant of marketing here” or just your name or something. But “one of my girls…” NO!

        3. Observer*

          Thank you! Perfectly put.

          I’m an adult, and I expect to be treated as one. It’s not just in IT that this is a problem.

          To be nit-picky, myself: Even it the young woman on the phone was “just the messenger, it doesn’t make her a “girl”. Office managers, admin assistants, scheduling assistants, receptionists, etc. are generally adults trying to do an adult job.

          It’s just a good idea to get into the habit of referring to ALL of the people you meet up with in an employment context as adults.

          1. Jamie*

            That’s what bothered me as well. Receptionists and admins have just as much right to not be referred to as girls as the hiring manager would.

            For me it depends on the context whether It bothers me. I dont like it at all when it’s “the girl at the front desk, the IT girl, etc. It has more than a taint of diminishing the woman as an adult and feels like it’s making a “less than” statement, intended or not.

            But when work friend, also female, shoots out an email to a couple of us (all female)” hey girls, what are we doing for lunch”…that will never bother me. Because the it’s just a casual figure of speech and you couldn’t find an insult of slight in the comment with a magnifying glass.

        4. ChristineSW*

          What I dislike more is “gal”. My 70-something year old aunt does that…like nails on a chalkboard.

            1. Windchime*

              “Gal” makes me feel like I should be wearing my hair in braids with a bandana tied into a halter top and a pair of denim daisy duke shorts with cowboy boots. Like, “Hey, little gal, why don’t you climb on up into my pickup truck?”

              “Ma’am” makes me feel dowdy, like I”m an old granny or something.

        5. Poe*

          THIS SO MUCH. I am 26 and an executive assistant who also handles the main phone line, and I get called “girl” all the time. Yes, I am young. Yes, I am female. However, I also have a university degree and have spent the past 4+ years busting my butt to get where I am, and I’d like a little respect, please.

        6. TootsNYC*

          (years later, sorry–but people do read the “back issues”)

          I think it’s also less about nitpicky and more about this:
          It can be dangerous to make dismissive assumptions about the person who makes the phone calls or answers the phone. “The girl who answered the phone” is a phrase that indicates you think she’s a person of little importance in the transaction. And of little influence or clout.

          She’s not–even if she’s the lowest person on the totem pole in that office, she’s still not someone you should think of dismissively, because that assumption could so very easily leak out. And then you’re toast.

          Substitute the phrase “the woman I spoke with”–it’ll get your mindset right. It’s safer.

        1. Jamie*

          I don’t like it, and I don’t even know why. It’s just off putting to me unless I’m watching Downton Abbey.

          HR lady? Sales lady? See that lady over there? I just always here a tint of Jerry Lewis no matter who is saying it.

          1. fposte*

            Yeah, and those examples point out the other problem–people don’t say “sales gentleman” or “HR gentleman.”

            1. Diane*

              I worked with a woman who used “gentleman” indiscriminately. The gentleman who hit her car, the gentleman who could did not turn in receipts with his expense reports, the gentleman who answered the phone . . . Jane Austen would spit.

          2. Lindsay the Temp*

            I’m 30, and an older guy I was dating told me that he told his mother I was a nice lady… I thought that was bizarre…

          3. Jen in RO*

            I found it a bit endearing when my manager sent my (all-female) team emails starting with “Hi ladies”. Mostly because “ladies” definitely did not apply to us – we were very foul-mouthed (but since the boss was in another country, he never witness out daily bitchfest).

        2. Ellie H.*

          I HATE “lady.” I hate it used generically e.g. “I asked the lady at the front desk”; I hate it used in a friendly manner e.g. “Hello ladies! I was thinking about ordering pizza and wonder if anyone else wants to join”; and I hate it used as a cute term for “girlfriend” e.g. “I took my lady to the movies last night.”

          1. Abradee*

            Whenever I hear someone refer to women as “ladies,” it always makes me think of a Demetri Martin joke where he says you can make even the most innocent remark sound creepy if you just put “ladies” at the end of it: “After college I joined the peace corps…ladies.” Therefore I only use “ladies” when I’m trying to be funny. Emphasis on the word “trying.”

      3. Carpe Librarium*

        It’s easier to recognise the double standard when you mentally swap the genders. How many times do you hear a man referred to as a boy?
        I realise that ‘guy’ is often used instead, but it’s more than a simple fluke that western, English-speaking cultures haven’t embraced a similarly all-encompassing equivalent for women.

          1. en pointe*

            Yeah I hear ‘guys’ used to refer to groups of either or mixed gender but not for female individuals.

            1. Zillah*

              I actually do sometimes hear “guys” when the group is all female, but it’s only in casual social situations.

        2. LondonI*

          Actually, I do. I constantly hear the term ‘city boy’ used and, in a more disparaging sense, ‘wide boy’. People in my company sometimes talk about the ‘boys in the post room’ or having ‘one of the boys from IT look at my computer’.

          I’m usually pretty feminist, but in the context I’m not especially bothered about people talking about the ‘girl from HR’. I think, though, in a situation where males were always called ‘men’ and females (particularly those in certain roles) were always referred to as ‘girls’, this would bother me a lot more.

    3. ew0054*

      At first I thought this was nit-picky.

      But after re-reading I have to agree with you. It establishes a dynamic of disrespect for the person and their position. Perhaps this manager picked up on this, and this is why the OP didn’t get the job?

  3. Mimi*

    It sounds like OP called the employer twice: once to ask why they were canceling the interview, and again to ask why they chose someone else. Or am I reading that incorrectly?

    1. Ruffingit*

      Hard to tell, but I read it as called back once to ask why they canceled the interview and chose someone else. The OP mentions that when she called, the woman on the phone was irritated. The way it was written makes it sound like she called twice, but I think she was just discussing what happened on the first call, not that she called again.

      1. fposte*

        I thought it was pretty clear that it was just one call myself. She refers to calling to ask why they went “on to hire someone else,” and then mentions the response during that call: “When I called back to ask why they chose someone else…” I don’t think she called them twice to ask why they hired someone else.

    3. ChristineSW*

      I just re-read that part, and I think she only called once; the woman left a voice mail saying they chose someone else, and the OP called back asking why.

  4. MrsG*

    I always take “any time” to mean “any time tomorrow”. I had an interviewer not want to wait 2 days because I was sick, and what I consider sick is actual high fever and vomiting, otherwise I can struggle through work or an interview.

    A better option would be to interview as soon as you could, notify them that you would be out of the country for x amount of time but could still be contacted via phone/email/whatever, and advise of what your start date could be. They might have picked the other person anyway, but scheduling an interview for 2 weeks out probably made them think you weren’t very interested.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I wouldn’t extrapolate from that interviewer to everyone else though — most interviewers really don’t mean “tomorrow” when they say “any time.” Yes, you can always find some crazy, unreasonable interviewer, but in general someone who says “any time” really means “any time reasonably soon”!

      1. Ruffingit*

        Yeah, to me anytime basically means within the next 2-5 days erring on the side of less time if possible. Two weeks is way too much IMO.

    2. Felicia*

      I had an interview that wouldn’t wait roughly 48 hours from when I got the call, so I decided I wouldn’t want that job. I usually take any time to mean less than a week from when you get the call – usually i try to figure out a time 2-3 days later. Though no one hs actually ever asked me that and being put on the spot like that i don’t know what i’d say. Usually they say we’re doing interviews on x and y day and ask what time is easier for me on those days, which is imo easier to answer

      1. Ruffingit*

        Agreed, it’s so much better when they give you a couple of days to work with and you can choose. Maybe not for everyone, for some people I’m sure they like making their own choice, but for me it’s easier if the interviewer says “We’re interviewing on Monday and Thursday this week, which of those would work better for you?”

      2. PEBCAK*

        It really depends on how desirable a candidate you are, though, and at the entry-level, it’s hard to really have a ton of negotiating power. I agree that it’s weird that the employer wasn’t clearer on their timeframe in the OP, but I don’t think a short turn-around is that weird, especially when dealing (presumably) with full-time students.

    3. JustMe*

      Just wanted to second this.

      Awhile back, I had an interview for a position I was really interested in. Booking took some negotiation, since I live in the next town and we are a single car family. The interview was scheduled for a week later.

      Several days later (before my interview), the HR person contacted me and said they just had a really great candidate interview and they were pretty sure they were going to hire her. He essentially told me not to bother coming in.

      At the time, it was super disappointing because I had already booked the whole day off, etc. But I just want to reiterate: if you don’t get there first, someone else might. So, if you are contacted for an interview, always start arranging your schedule for it asap. You don’t want to miss out.

  5. Anji*

    Actually, this sets off alarm bells about this company for me. Regardless of whether the OP should have scheduled an interview earlier, the fact that the woman called back *30 minutes* later to cancel the interview strikes me as odd. It’s as if she was scheduling interviews without knowing the real status of the position (i.e. it was already filled, or closed to new interviewees). That could be why she was irritated to receive a call from the OP, because she was frustrated at the situation, and everyone’s time being wasted.

    I would have probably made that call myself, just to know what exactly had changed in the past 30 minutes that made them cancel the interview. What if I had juggled a bunch of appointments in those 30 minutes to make time for the interview? Anyway, just my opinion!

    1. Sourire*

      It could be that she took down the 2-week date, presented that to whoever is interviewing/hiring/decision-making, and that person decided not to move forward with OP. At that point they may have hired another candidate as per the scenarios Alison suggested, or perhaps they just decided not to go with OP and the position being filled was the reason given, even if not true. They may have figured that answer would invite less questions/protests than a simple “we decided not to move forward with your candidacy”, and thus were annoyed when OP called back, since they assumed the matter was closed. Granted, I would have waited longer than 30 minutes, but as a job seeker I guess it’s actually nicer to know sooner rather than later.

    3. Ruffingit*

      I agree that made me think twice too. It’s such a short window of time to call back in to say they’d hired someone. Alison gives some scenarios that are possible, but regardless 30 minutes…yeah, I kind of gave the side eye to that too.

  6. llamathatducks*

    LW, I just want to say that no matter what missteps you made, it is not reasonable or okay for your dad to yell at you for them. Everyone makes mistakes when they’re learning to do something they’re new to – it’s a totally normal part of learning! And if your mistakes have a real cost to you, that’s plenty enough “punishment” or incentive to do better next time – it makes no sense to add yelling to the mix.

    Alison’s advice is good; you can definitely take it as a guide for what to do in the future. But please try not to beat yourself up for not knowing all the norms yet! This stuff happens; you’re learning pretty quickly!

    1. Not So NewReader*

      This times ten.
      Of the whole story the thing that got me was the father’s reaction. OP is learning, she is putting herself out there and trying.
      Dad should have known better. Very seldom do we teach or even reach people when we are yelling at the top of our lungs.
      In addition, I see OP reaching out an asking opinions of others: “Did I handle this okay or no?”
      I wonder if Dad asked a peer for their thoughts on how he handled the situation.
      OP gets points for asking. Make a life habit of asking well chosen people what they think when the going gets rocky.

      OP, if job hunting were easy, then Alison would not have been able to keep the blog alive for all these years. Because no one would have any questions or any odd situations happen.
      Other posters have written some great advice, too, along with Alison’s. I hope you re-read the comments and find their words helpful and encouraging.

      1. Ruffingit*

        Adding my voice to the chorus of HANG TOUGH OP!! It’s not easy out there and Not So NewReader makes an excellent point here – your dad probably didn’t ask anyone if his reaction was appropriate, but you are reaching out and trying to learn. That’s awesome and the ability to seek out answers and the desire to learn is going to serve you well throughout life.

        Never is it OK for someone to yell or become verbally abusive. Doesn’t matter if they are your parents or a stranger on the street. If your father is like this often, you may want to do some reading on boundary setting. That will serve you well in life. Take it from someone who knows intimately the suffering that comes from not setting boundaries early enough with your father. GOOD LUCK!

        1. Elle-em-en-oh-pee*

          Once you don’t answer to anyone for your essentials it’s alot easier not to discuss things with the people you don’t want to. Until then, you eventually learn to keep your head down and never tell ANYONE (friends or family on either side of the spectrum) anything more than you have to about, anything.

          Otherwise you risk getting criticized by both sides.

          1. Ruffingit*

            AMEN AMEN AMEN! That is something I learned late in life and now try to pass on to others. There is no need to explain or defend yourself. Less is more when it comes to details about what you’re doing or not doing or whatever. Anytime you give more details than is necessary, you open yourself to the criticism/opinion brigade. Just not worth it. I have found that there are very few people in this world that I can share details with who will then say “Hmmm…so what you’re feeling/thinking is…” In other words, active listeners who genuinely take an interest without telling you their opinion (which you didn’t ask for) are rare.

            1. mirror*

              Reading the part about dad yelling really hit close to home. Growing up, my dad did the exact same thing. Every little misstep–and sometimes even my naive questions–were met with over the top anger, frustration, yelling, and “why did you do/ask that??!” His reactions created a perfectionistic, procrastinating, fear-of-failure adult who bottles up everything and waits til the breaking point to tell anyone what’s wrong.

              These anxieties have created a lot of hurdles to becoming a successful, happy adult but I’m working on them. Moving out helped a lot for my sanity and my relationship with my dad. It didnt work being vague with him when I lived at home, because he would drill me for specifics and no response=anger. He has a pathological need to tell me what to do or say in any situation to make sure that I always make “the right choice.”

              OP, good luck with your job search and I hope your father’s outburst was just a one time thing. I think you made some very innocent mistakes, but nothing life-shattering.

              1. Ruffingit*

                Mirror,

                I am so sorry that was your experience growing up. That’s emotional abuse and it does make for a very difficult life as an adult sometimes because you’re way of relating/handling emotions is skewed beyond belief. It makes sense that it would be when emotions/basic human behavior = emotional abuse growing up.

                It’s such an irony because your father wanted to make sure you always made “the right choice,” but his behavior was the wrong choice x 1000.

                I hope you’ve been able to work through some of what you lived with. It sounds like you’re very aware of how wrong it was and that’s a good thing. HUGS!

              2. Kelly L.*

                I had the same. :/

                It did cause me to default to putting off talking about a potential problem until it’s become huge. If (for example) I had a problem in class growing up, and I didn’t say anything till report cards came out and showed an unsatisfactory grade, I’d get chewed out for not telling him sooner, and he always swore that he’d be reasonable if I told him early–but it wasn’t borne out by my experience, because if I told him the moment I felt overwhelmed, he’d still chew me out; it still wasn’t early enough for him. So I went back to putting it off, because I figured I was getting chewed out either way, and if I put it off I might at least be able to salvage my grade before the end of the semester without him ever knowing there’d been a problem. It sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t.

    2. Rose*

      THANK YOU!!

      You made two rookie mistakes. You’re very new at this. I’m sure you won’t make them again. There’s a lot to learn about the working world! Read this blog for a few months, and you’ll begin to pick up on work etiquette.

      The HUGE mistake is your father thinking it’s ok to blow up at you for making a mistake. You weren’t being lazy, deceitful, or anything else abhorrent. You were trying your best to do the right thing. I can’t imagine why he would feel the need to add to the sadness of rejection by yelling at you.

      You’re new to the job hunt, but he’s not new to being a human.

  7. Ann Furthermore*

    What a bummer that your dad jumped all over your case. That certainly doesn’t accomplish anything.

    For what it’s worth, any time I’ve been called for an interview, I set it up for as soon as possible. Now, realistically, not everyone can drop everything and come in the same day, or even the next day, but sometime within the next few days is reasonable.

    By putting the interview off for 2 weeks, you may have sent the message that you didn’t need or want the job that badly, even though I’m sure that’s not true. Companies want to hire people enthusiastic about working for them, and with the job market being what it is, they usually have plenty of candidates to choose from.

    I get why you did it though…when you’re completely focused on school, it can be hard to get into interview mode. But the interviewer didn’t know that, so she may have picked up a “whatever” vibe from you.

  8. EJ*

    Unfortunately the dad was correct though – as AAM mentions, you can’t put an interview off until after you finish a course and go on a trip.

    Sure, the employer could have gently nudged the OP to choose a sooner time, but they’re not obligated to.

    Everyone makes mistakes, OP. This was one. Just learn from it and move on. It might help to acknowledge your mistake to your father, if you’d like him off your back.

  9. Anon*

    I also think it’s partly the interviewer’s fault here too. Rather than making the candidates guess, couldn’t they just say “within two weeks,” or otherwise give them an idea of what date(s) they had in mind? The employer wasn’t clear in communicating that.

    1. Sourire*

      I do think if the person on the phone knew 2 weeks would be an issue, it would have been nice of them to speak up. However, I don’t really think it would be necessary for her to say “within 2 weeks” or what not, because that is pretty standard convention, particularly for entry level positions. It would be like throwing out there that professional clothing needs to be worn to the interview. If they needed interviews to be completed within 48 hours or something like that, certainly that should be mentioned as opposed to any time, but otherwise I feel it’s unnecessary.

    2. MissDisplaced*

      Yes. When they tell me “any time” I typically reverse the question and ask them what time slots they have available. You can then get a sense of whether they are scheduling within the next couple of days, or for 2 to 3 weeks out (which is not uncommon either).

    3. Felicia*

      I do think it’s easier if interviewers say what days they’re interviewing or what days are good for them so you don’t have to do as much guessing at all. Normally interviewers do give you specific times as options. I’ve also had interviewers ask me for a time that was less than 24 hours away from when i got the call – i had to learn that it was ok to say I couldn’t do it. I guess I blew my chances with that or something, but when they call on Monday late afternoon an d they say they’re only interviewing Tuesday, a lot of people aren’t going to be able to do t hat, so maybe they’re losing great candidates.

      1. Ruffingit*

        I agree that calling late Monday for Tuesday interviews is a bit much. It makes me wonder if they’re disorganized in that they didn’t get their list of candidates together in a timely manner and now they’re having to rush to do interviews. I personally feel it’s a bit disrespectful to expect less than 24 hours for an interview. Even people without jobs have to plan on possibly getting their interview clothes cleaned (let’s say they had an interview that day and a dog jumped on them right after or something), getting some more paper to bring resume copies or whatever. Those are small examples, but there are reasons why people can’t do 24-hours or less turnaround so I think 48 hours is a minimum that should be offered on the side of the interviewers. That’s perhaps just me though :)

        1. Felicia*

          Glad it’s not just me who thinks so! I felt that it said something bad about the organization of the company. I often get 48 hours offered and I feel bad when i can’t do that too. But if they call Monday and offer Wednesday, and I say sorry and that I can do any time Thursday or Friday, I think that’s reasonable. But I always feel bad when I can’t go to an interview. Once I was offered an interview that was basically the exact same time as another one, and they were only doing a 3 hour window on that one day, no exceptions (the locations were too far apart for me to do both in one day) . I think that’s unfair too.

          1. Ruffingit*

            A 3-hour window on a single day would cause the side-eye from me too. I understand the possible reasons for that, but it’s a pretty tight schedule to expect people to accept. I can see them losing some great candidates that way.

        2. FarBreton*

          A few months ago, I got an email about an admin job I’d applied to the day before on Craigslist. While keeping their email address (and thus company) anonymous, they asked if I’d be available in the next two days. I told them that two days later would be better, but that tomorrow was doable. The next morning (so, tomorrow), they emailed me and asked me to come in that afternoon! After some prodding, they told me they were a chocolate teapot wholesale company. Since I needed a job and figured that any interview was good practice, I put on a nice outfit and dutifully rushed in.

          The last-minute, unaccomodating scheduling ended up being pretty telling. The interview was only about ten minutes long. The woman’s first question was what my passions were, and I told her essentially the same things my resume showed. When my passions didn’t include helping run a chocolate teapot wholesale company, she told me that I probably wasn’t a good fit because they were looking for someone who’d want to stay forever. They clearly did not care at all about wasting my time, but I’m still baffled at how that was a better use of their time than simply reading my resume.

          1. Ruffingit*

            The fact that you had to prod them to get them to tell you who they were is pretty telling. What a weird experience, sorry you had your time wasted like that. The first question was about your passions and they’re looking for someone to stay forever? What planet are they on because it’s not earth.

            1. FarBreton*

              Yeah, it was pretty bizarre. They didn’t actually say forever, but many years or even a lifetime was implied. The only explanation I can think of for their caginess was that they sold very valuable chocolate teapots and might have been afraid that I’d bring a gun and rob them? (Even though I’d google-sleuthed their name before they confirmed it!)

  10. Anonymous*

    I think everyone made mistakes here. The op really should have scheduled the interview sooner, and calling back to ask why the interview was cancelled was a misstep. The interviewer should have given a time line guide to avoid interviewees scheduling appointments too far out, or at least asked the op at the time if she could schedule something sooner. And the dad really needs to keep his trip shut if he thinks yelling at the op will accomplish anything.

  11. anon*

    This situation was a bummer, but as someone job searching, you need to learn from it and move on. It can be tough to think you might have let a job slip through your fingers, but really, you didn’t even interview with this company and you have no idea if you would have gotten the job anyway. You were still in the early, early stages of applying for the job. Keep reading this blog to learn more about how to job search and behave like a professional (it is very different from college). Good luck dealing with your parents.

    1. Ruffingit*

      I would be also, but it’s hard to tell if that is what happened here. I read it as the OP called once and she was relaying what happened in the phone call in that paragraph where it looks like she would have called a second time.

  13. Kimberlee, Esq.*

    Yeah, a good rule of thumb is that, if you’re an entry level candidate, there are going to be very, very few times you should pick up the phone and call a prospective employer, for any reason (other than when they tell you to). Calling to find out why your interview was cancelled or why your application was rejected is virtually never a good idea.

    In this case, a follow-up email asking about the weird timing might have come off better, but even still, I’m having a hard time figuring out how your word that without it sounding like “I’m sad/mad that you cancelled my interview, and I demand you tell me why.” As much as I really can’t fault you for wanting to know, I just don’t think there’s a good way to ask. :(

    1. Anon*

      There is nothing wrong with calling to find out why the interview was cancelled, that is perfectly acceptable. Entry level candidates have just as much right as senior level candidates to ask basic questions, there is no guarantee you will receive an answer however. That is where you have to let it go and drop it.

      I will echo what other people say – regardless of how busy school is and your schedule, when they say anytime, they mean within the next week or so.

      1. Sophia*

        But the message said they were moving on with another candidate. It wasn’t a ‘interview is cancelled’ vague message

      2. Kimberlee, Esq.*

        But if your interview is cancelled via email, and you feel you must follow up, then you should do so via email. I stick by my wording; there a just very few instances where an entry level candidate should be calling a prospective employer. I don’t think senior level candidates have more of a right to know, I was just accounting for the idea that if you’re wooing people to a senior position, you’re more accommodating to them, pretty much universally. I’d still think the candidate was going overboard by calling, but it would be less likely to cost them real points.

        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          I agree — never any reason to call for something like this. Email would be far preferable, but even then it should be asking for feedback or seeking clarification, not asking why they made the decision they did.

    2. FiveNine*

      I got the sense the only real reason the OP called back is because the Dad was so angry and OP was caught up in a moment of largely reacting to that situation. It sounds like the stress of an already stressful situation was magnified exponentially.

      1. Anji*

        Exactly. I think the brand of “mistake” in this situation was largely caused by the father’s overreaction. The OP had coursework and an overseas trip. The timing was bad for an interview and she judged her priorities. Maybe if she had gone to the interview earlier, she would have failed her course. It was really just bad luck.

      2. Mrs Addams*

        +1

        I think the OP knew she was making a mistake in calling back, but the heated situation with her father pushed her into calling back where in any other situation she wouldn’t have.

        1. fposte*

          Sure, but that’s a lesson too. Don’t let your parents’ reaction run your job search behavior.

          However, I definitely agree that Dad’s response sounds unhelpful and over the top. People make mistakes when they’re new at stuff, and the OP’s new at job-hunting. This wasn’t a big deal in the overall scheme of things, and it’s not going to hurt her long-term (and quite possibly wouldn’t have made any difference in the short). There’s no reason to turn this into a drama.

          1. Ruffingit*

            +1. Turning things into a drama unnecessarily is one of my pet peeves because you don’t need to invite trouble to pull up a chair and stay for dinner. It comes on its own. In other words, no need to make trouble/drama where it’s unnecessary, life will give you enough shit on its own.

    3. ChristineSW*

      Has no one else considered that she might’ve gotten poor advice from her college’s career center (not to mention her own family). We’ve talked many, many times here how some of these centers advise soon-to-graduate and newly-graduated students to use what can be deemed as aggressive and sales-y tactics. I bet the OP thought it was okay to call back.

      1. Marcy*

        I agree. I went back to school for a graduate degree and was shocked at what some of these career centers tell students to do to get a job. It was obvious to me that these “advisors” have never been on a job interview themselves nor done any hiring. I felt bad for the younger folks that believed these people.

        1. Ruffingit*

          So much bad information out there. So, so much. I too feel badly for people who take this information to heart and then wonder why they are having such rotten luck in the job hunt.

  14. Jake*

    A hard part of growing up for many of us is realizing that parents no longer need to be involved in the details of your life.

    Independence is a two way street, if you keep involving parents in the details of life it is hard to complain about them acting controlling.

    As a note, by you I mean the collective you not the op.

    1. Ruffingit*

      Yes, indeed. People often have a difficult time not explaining or defending themselves. That’s a general human issue, but it gets even worse when it’s parent/child because that relationship is built on a foundation of the child having to answer to the parent. But, there comes a time when that simply isn’t the case anymore and the child needs to learn to say, for example, “I am making a good effort with job hunting” or “I’m happy with the way things are progressing” and leave it at that. Supplying details to anyone frequently invites commentary you don’t want. Better to just be vague and move on.

    2. Carpe Librarium*

      This is why I miss the general ‘one’:
      “… if one keeps involving parents in the details of life it is hard to complain about them acting controlling.”
      It has fallen out of use in the last few decades, but it was useful to distinguish between ‘somebody in general’ and ‘the person on the receiving end of this statement’.
      (End grammar geek out)

    3. EngineerGirl*

      This is true. But the other part of it is that you don’t truly get to claim full “adulthood” until you are fully supporting yourself. As long as you are living off of another’s income you don’t get all rights and privileges.

  15. Maggie*

    OP, just shake it off and move on. This probably wasn’t the right employer for you, their canceling the interview so quickly would make most of us scowl.

  16. Mena*

    You are over-involving your parents in your job search (and please note that I didn’t say they are over-involving themselves) – you need to limit the information you are sharing with Mom and Dad – you are an adult and managing your own job search.

    And to call back and ask for explanation? That is quite out of line.

    Yes, you blew it by scheduling the interview so far in the future (of course they may lose interest) and then you blew it again by asking for explanation (I hear: defend your decision to me). I’m not surprised by the response you received.

    Please learn some lessons on this one.

  17. Zed*

    I think a lot of commenters are being too hard on the OP. It is terribly unprofessional for the company to agree to an interview date and time, only to call back 30 minutes later to cancel. If it was unreasonable for the OP to come in for an interview in two weeks, she should have been told. The woman who called was perfectly capable of saying, “I’m sorry but we’re really hoping to have the interviews wrapped up this week. Are you available on Thursday or Friday?”

    The fact of the matter is that they already had a candidate they liked, and that was that. The OP’s interview might have been canceled even if it was the next day–there is no way to know.

    1. ew0054*

      Well unprofessional yes, but at least it saved time for both parties (even if it was self-serving in favor of the company… it usually is). Otherwise, the OP would have gone on the interview with high hopes, then nothing but more time wasted.

    2. en pointe*

      I agree that the interviewer should have just said that 2 weeks was too long but I don’t think anyone is being hard on the OP just for the sake of being hard on them.

      The OP hopefully now has the right advice to better handle this situation in future. Because a lot of companies might not say anything – just because they should doesn’t mean they will.

    3. fposte*

      I think they might have handled it better, but I don’t think it’s necessarily unprofessional. The woman in the phone isn’t necessarily the hiring manager, after all–she’s quite likely just the scheduler. Her job is to identify the OP’s availability. She did; her boss said “We’re not waiting for that, then, we’ll just go with our current top candidate and get the search closed”; she called the OP back.

      1. Zed*

        You’re right–unprofessional was a bit harsh!

        What I was getting at, though, was that there was more at work here than just a couple of missteps on behalf of the OP. Canceling the interview without offering the OP the chance to come in for an earlier interview (depending on how exactly the OP phrased their availability, of course…) means that there’s was a pretty strong candidate already–who would have been strong even had the OP interviewed.

        1. Jen in RO*

          Yeah, I agree. Schedulers have always told me when my suggested dates did not work for them, and we always agreed on a better alternative together.

  18. Vicki*

    I had an interview that was scheduled for Tuesday morning and canceled on Monday noon. Apparently they decided to hire the very first candidate interviewed.

  19. Rob*

    I’ve just happened across this lovely blog, and spent most of the night flipping through its archives. I’ve got my very first job interview on Wed (graduated from HS this past school year), and I’m looking forward to it.

    I’ll be poking around here lots, loving it!

Comments are closed.