ask the readers: bad behavior from job candidates

by Alison Green on July 21, 2016

We hear about plenty of bad behavior from job seekers here — from the candidate who sent a cake and a framed photo of himself to the hiring manager (?!), to the person who was intentionally late to interviews as a “strategy,” to the guy who advertised his job-hunting spouse on a billboard, and so many more.

Now it’s time to expand our list. What’s the worst or weirdest behavior you’ve ever seen from a job candidate?  (There’s a whole category in the archives for bad behavior from interviewers, so this is not one-sided.)

Share in the comments, and leave no detail out.

You may also like:
{ 1,533 comments }

{ 1,533 comments… read them below }

  1. Apparatchic*

    One candidate arrived a full HOUR ahead of time, so I had to send her to a nearby coffee shop. Once in the interview, she explained her cross-cultural relationship strategy as “perfecting my bitch-face”… not great in any circumstance, but definitely not great at our small faith-based NGO.

    1. ZSD*

      Wait, she wanted to look more bitchy, or she wanted to *correct* her bitch-face so she looked more friendly? And either way…I wish I could read her mind to understand what this has to do with cross-cultural relationships.

      1. Apparatchic*

        Noooo, her strategy for working with people in other countries was to HAVE a bitch-face. As in… that was how she dealt with possible positionality issues, intercultural conflicts, etc. Bitch-face. We still joke about it in our team because that is probably the WORST way to develop relationships with international partners!

        (I forgot to mention that our elderly ED was in this meeting.)

        1. EmmaLou*

          Darn, I was hoping that her meaning was that she thought “cross-cultural” had to do with crabby people :D. You know, because they are all cross… and she’d thought that all her life when she heard the term.

    2. some1*

      This happened when I was a receptionist 14 years ago; except the candidate refused to go get coffee. We weren’t really set up to have any visitors wait more than a few minutes so it was inconvenient for me.

      1. Apparatchic*

        One of the interviewers was literally at lunch so we actually couldn’t get started! But either way, SO inconvenient, right?

      2. Fog*

        Oh man, that’s giving me horrifying receptionist flashbacks. People who arrive way inappropriately early and sit in the too-small lobby right in front of you, and take up the next half hour -hour of your time with inane small talk or questioning. Go sit in your car and play games on your phone!

        1. Anna*

          Side note very late: I recently went to an interview and got there about 1o minutes early (like you do). Their lobby area was in the middle of an open floor plan so I got to sit there awkwardly staring at everyone working while I waited to start my interview.

    3. SJ*

      I had an interview this morning, and though I’d been to the building (at a university) twice before, they were both during off-times — never during rush hour. So I left myself even more extra time just in case and got there 45 minutes early. Security at the main desk asked when my appointment was and then said, “Oh, you should just go up to their wing now and show them that you’re SO punctual that you’re early!” Ah, no thanks, sir, I’m just gonna be seated in that waiting area over there until a more appropriate time…

      1. Apparatchic*

        I’m ALWAYS super-early for interviews – which is why I always research coffee shops in the area so that I can grab some tea and calm down before walking over for my usual 3-5 minutes early. I appreciate her effort (ish), but it showed a lack of judgement that was confirmed in her interview.

        1. ThatGirl*

          Same – I give myself tons of time to do last minute prep etc but I am also prepared to wait in my car or find a coffeeshop nearby. I’d never skulk in a lobby for an hour.

        2. SJ*

          Definitely! Before my first interview I figured there’d be a number of big waiting areas on the main floor (it’s a giant university business building), so I was prepared to hunker down in a corner on the main floor before heading up to the 4th floor at a reasonable time, but if there weren’t any I was going to skedaddle and find a coffee shop. I work at a university now and it’s so awkward when someone who has a meeting or interview shows up 25 minutes early and they insist on hanging out in the lobby instead of going across the walk to the student union building.

          1. TrainerGirl*

            Yes, it’s bad enough waiting when your interviewer doesn’t show up on time. I definitely wouldn’t show up an hour early.

        3. INTP*

          Yeah, it comes across as very presumptuous if you’re more than 5-10 minutes early imo. It comes across like “Showing off how punctual I am is more important than not inconveniencing people.”

          (Barring exceptional circumstances, like if there are literally no places to stand around for awhile indoors before going into the office proper and it’s freezing/raining/unsafe outside.)

          1. Apparatchic*

            As an obsessively early person, I actually have come to realize that being early is NOT being punctual! Part of good time management is really realizing that arriving on time means not inconveniencing anyone or expecting anyone to change their schedule for you.

            (Agreed on all the exceptional circumstances listed – if there had been a blizzard or no coffee shop in the next building, it would be totally different.)

            1. Boss Cat Meme*

              I was on my way to an interview once in a cab, and I had with me a small glass aquarium. I had to do a live presentation to the board of an educational program that I had designed for children. I left really early because I knew traffic would be really bad that time of day. I was a few blocks from the place and the cab driver (with me in the cab) was slammed in the intersection! My aquarium had a big crack in it and probably would no longer hold water, I had a big cut on my knee that torn my nylons and left bloodstains on them, and I was a complete nervous wreck! I got to the place and found a restroom in the lobby and cleaned myself all up, and I threw away the nylons and tried to calm myself down. When I was cool, I went to the organization and told the receptionist that I was so sorry I was late, but this is what happened, and I would like to reschedule the interview if they would allow it. The receptionist left and came back with the woman I supposed to meet who said, “You’re not late, you’re right on time!” She said she explained to the board what happened, and if I could possibly present that day, would I consider doing so? So I did, thinking I had no chance at that point. I got a big round of applause when I finished, and I got the job! ALWAYS be extra early is my motto, but when I am, I will make myself scarce outside somewhere until it’s time for the interview.

              1. stevenz*

                There’s a best-worst story if I ever heard one. Congratulations! But how were the fish?

          2. Library Director*

            My rule of thumb is give myself plenty of time, but to present myself about 15 minutes early. If I need to ask for restroom this gives me a chance to “freshen up”, check my teeth for spinach, etc. Of course I always bring appropriate reading material. “Library Research Skills For Teapot Makers” rather than my gory murder mystery.

        1. LadyLatteMotif*

          “Bitch-face” is the kind of buzzwordy youth slang that Buzzfeed would make a lot of use of, right up there with “on fleek.”

          1. Saturn9*

            You’re not kidding. #7 on Buzzfeed’s list of 10 Ways To Slay Your Dream Job is “Make sure your bitch-face is on fleek.”

    5. The lazy b (with spaces today for no particular reason)*

      Years ago I had an interview. I arrived really as I always do only to find out there was no cafe or anything nearby to wait in. I waited outside for a while (I didn’t have a car back then) but it was freezing and extremely windy so I went inside and said basically I know I’m super early but can I just sit in reception till you’re ready? They said fine. I went through my papers and waited. I got the job.

      1. The Expendable Redshirt*

        My story is somewhat similar. I took transit to an interview, arrived 50 min early, and discovered that there were no coffee shop type places nearby. The weather was bad, so I walked back in and talked to the receptionist. I let the receptionist know that I knew I was very early for my interview at X time. After a very short period sitting, the interviewer came to get me. The interview started, and it soon became clear that there was a mixup. The interviewer thought that I was a different late (no show) candidate ! Despite this confusion, I was offered the job.

        1. Apparatchic*

          I think these situations are different – first of all, the weather was bad, and secondly there was nothing nearby! It’s not ideal, but it’s not as egregious as just… showing up super early with no exacerbating factors.

    6. INTP*

      I had a candidate arrive 2 hours ahead of time. The receptionist just told him to take a seat in the lobby…where he proceeded to have a nap. The lobby is between the C-suite offices and the middle management and meeting room areas, so all the execs saw him. I had just started as a junior recruiter and vouched for him after a short phone interview so it was a hit to my credibility for sure.

      In this case it was pretty presumptuous because there were plenty of places for him to wait. There were a variety of little quick service restaurants (including Subway which is very cheap), and there was free seating outside (San Diego – outdoor seating is tolerable like 300 days/year) as well as a lobby for the building in general before coming to our floor.

      1. afiendishthingy*

        Out of curiosity was it a sitting up, just nodded off type of nap? Or did he literally stretch out on a couch/across several chairs with his jacket as a pillow?

          1. Pineapple Incident*

            Still an unfortunate but egregious offense in interviewing. Under no circumstances should people in that scenario ever see you sleeping.

            1. Cath in Canada*

              A friend of mine once fell asleep on her interviewer’s shoulder during a research seminar that took place in the middle of an all-day interview. She’d taken an overnight train to the interview and hadn’t slept at all, and she was sitting in a comfy chair in a dark room, right after lunch. She got the job! But this was in academia.

            2. Afiendishthingy*

              Oh, absolutely- I was just extra amused by my mental picture of the guy kicking his shoes off and lying across multiple chairs!

    7. Elisabeth*

      I still cringe when I think about an interview from a number of years ago. I was about 45 minutes early, in order to give myself lots of commuting time and time to find the building, so I went to a nearby coffee shop to review/prepare/wait it out. Arrived at the interview about 5 minutes before my time, only to realize this place had two office locations and I was in the wrong one. It killed me that I was theoretically “early” but ended up being late after getting in a cab and racing across town.

      1. Buffay the Vampire Layer*

        I’ve done that too. And the thing is, I looked the guy up on their website and they said he was in office location A. When I got there, the receptionist was like, no, everyone knows he’s in B. Which he was, with a very lived-in office and everything. I did not get that job.

        1. Elisabeth*

          Glad to see I am not alone! I also did not get the job. Also went by the address listed on the website. Oy.

          1. anony*

            Oh, that must have been stressful. But the HR / hiring director didn’t provide the address to interview at?

        2. Afiendishthingy*

          Who the heck is “everybody”? How were you supposed to know?

          Meanwhile we FREQUENTLY have people show up for interviews but have NO IDEA who called them for the interview, and the poor receptionist ends up wandering around asking if anyone has an interview scheduled.

          1. Akcipitrokulo*

            I was applying for a job with the police in their IT department. I was about 10 minutes early, introduced myself at the desk, and was told to wait for interviewer. So I waited…

            A few minutes past interview start time, I asked at desk if they knew when they’d be here, and was told they’d been informed I had arrived, and would be down shortly.

            So I waited…

            The third time I went up to the desk to ask, there was someone else who had just popped in as well, who interrupted with “Oh, you want to talk to X? He’s at the other (minor) station.”

            Call to explain and taxi ride later, they do still see me… 40 minutes late.

            I did get offered the job though, so not all bad!

            1. CanadianKat*

              A decent workplace would tell you exactly where to go, especially when they have more than one location. They would also give you clear directions like: “Take the elevator to the 21st floor, and ask reception for Hugh Smith.” If not, they should instruct the receptionist that Charlie Candidate is expected at 3pm and she is to call Sally in HR.

      2. Carrie*

        I had an interview once at a company with 2-3 offices in the same 5 miles or so. It was entirely on me that I didn’t ask the interviewer specifically where the interview would be conducted, but she never specified which office it was either, just assumed I knew I guess. I ended up calling my friend who worked for them and asking him where his interview was and went with that location. I did end up being a few minutes late but the interviewer showed up after I did…so she never knew. Now I always specify the address of where we’re meeting! (I didn’t end up getting the job, but after seeing my friend’s experience working there, I’m glad).

    8. Janice in Accounting*

      Ha! My husband is a pastor and I’m going to tell him the next time he interviews for a job to be sure and talking about his bitch-face! :P

    9. Alison*

      We once had someone show up 3-4 HOURS before their scheduled interview. The interview was supposed to be at like 1 or 2 PM, and they were there before I got in at 10. Did not get hired.

      1. Joseph*

        I don’t understand how that’s even possible.

        I can see how maybe you might show up an hour early – You’re wanted to be a bit early to give yourself plenty of time for traffic, but the roads were super clear.

        But this is extreme – Even in the cities famous for their traffic (LA, Atlanta, etc), it doesn’t take anywhere close to 3 hours to get places. Like did he specifically plan to arrive super early as some weird sign of how he’s SUPER-DEDICATED or something?

        1. Carrie*

          Oh, sometimes it can in LA. I’ve spent 3 hrs on the road to go 30 miles. :( *insert more crying emoticons* usually because of an accident since “normal” traffic is more like an extra 45 mins or so.

          Fortunately I never had to go for job interviews in LA or OC, but if I had, I’d have left insanely early and researched ahead of time to find a coffee shop or library or something nearby, preferably 5-10 mins away, and spent the time there instead. I would definitely not show up at 10am for a 2pm interview. That’s insane.

        2. CanadianKat*

          It can if you’re coming from out of town by public transit. I once had an interview in a town 2 hours away. It was scheduled for 10am, and the only bus I could take was at 7:30, arriving 9:30. If the interview had been at 1pm, I would have taken the same bus. But haning around in the lobby – no. Would have found a public library, coffee shop, or at worst, the bus depot.

          As it happened, there was a huge snow storm and the bus was one hour late. I called them, explained to the receptionist, and they were able to reschedule my interview for 10:30, which was pretty amazing, considering it was a 4-person panel of senior partners. I got the job.

      2. Library Director*

        We had that happen and the person wanted to know why we couldn’t interview her right then. We had a cancellation and was able to move up her shortened interview.

        1. Chalupa Batman*

          I work with college students, and this is exactly why I generally refuse to see students who come way before their scheduled appointment time. It’s not (always) that I *can’t*, but I want to set the norm of 5-10 minutes early as the precedent. People tend to think of early as a good thing, but there’s a limit. Every now and then a student has a good reason and approaches it as “I understand and can come back/reschedule if you’re not free, but if you are can I see you now?” and I move them up if I can, but as a rule, no, I’m busy right now. I see part of my job as enforcing these types of norms now, when it’s not going to be as big a deal as a job interview or similar event.

  2. AndersonDarling*

    I was supposed to be in a peer interview with a candidate, but our HR rep never called me to say they were ready. Two hours later, I asked what happened and the Hiring Manager said the candidate was wearing a transparent shirt. Not an “Ops, I didn’t know the light would do that” kind of shirt, but a clubbing/lingerie kind of see through shirt where you could see every detail of the applicant’s bra.
    The Hiring Manager and HR Rep agreed not to move forward with the peer interviewer.

    1. Michelenyc*

      Unfotunately, this happesn a lot in the fashion industry. While you can get away with wearing some interesting things. A transparent shirt would not go over well!

    2. stevenz*

      Maybe the bra was the most expensive article of clothing she had, and wanted to dress to impress.

    3. Leelee*

      The same thing happened to me too – a candidate came in wearing a see-through top with an electric orange, textured bra underneath (like one people wear on nights out when the bra is part of the outfit). I wish I didn’t know all the details of her underwear but it was quite literally staring me in the face.

      My industry is extremely competitive, old-fashioned and conservative and this was for a client facing role. For some reason that was my final straw (after a LOT of hilariously clueless new-grad interviews) and I persuaded my bosses to let me go around the local colleges giving talks and workshops on what not to do. In theory it’s to help the kids get work, but really it’s to help me keep my sanity when we’re recruiting.

      1. Mel*

        I’m glad it’s not just me who wants to go to local colleges and explain how getting a job works. My big pet peeve is resumes – if I could teach all the local students just one thing, it would be that employers can’t use their psychic powers to figure out which programming language you built a project in, you have to *tell* us. It’s so frustrating to see a short mention of a project that could be a great example of relevant experience and then absolutely no details.

    4. Journalist Wife*

      I once had to interview a candidate to be my new assistant (at a University, so she was a student) who showed up wearing a leather-and-leopard-print lace-up bustier. I could see every bit of what the Good Lord gave her pushed up and over the top, on display, on purpose. At 9:00 a.m. in an office building. When the affirmative action rep chased me down later to demand me why I did not hire the minority candidate, I explained that while her resume was okay (it was just okay), I had found someone with a better resume who came for her interview wearing actual clothes. That was not good enough. I was reprimanded because my answer to the AA rep’s question, “Why didn’t you just send her home to cover her breasts, and then interview her again?” was, “Because this job requires good judgement and I preferred to just pick someone with enough common sense to not need to be told to wear a shirt to an interview.” Seriously, I got in trouble over that response.

      1. Dirty Paws*

        People aren’t born with common sense. One reason, among many, for AA is to help even the playing field for those who didn’t grow up with the advantage of good role models.

  3. Act*

    We will never, ever forget Flip Flop Guy.

    He came in in flip flops, bermuda shorts, and a t-shirt, arrived late, and when we asked him why he’d been late, he told us he’d just come from a beach party. We’re also pretty sure he was stoned.

    We laugh about it to this day. According to LinkedIn, he’s still freelancing, which, shocker.

    1. The Optimizer*

      I know a guy that used to do this very thing on purpose so he could continue to collect unemployment.

      1. Adam V*

        Don’t unemployment offices ever call to confirm that these interviews actually happened?

        Conversely, should you feel guilty telling the unemployment office that they essentially blew off the interview by showing up stoned and in beach wear?

        1. Dan*

          And they would call, and confirm it happened ;)

          In my state, we are only required to make a “job contact”, but we do have to accept a reasonable job if offered.

        2. SophieChotek*

          Forgive my ignorance, but I thought there was a set limit for collecting unemployment? (i.e. eventually you won’t get it anymore).

          1. The Optimizer*

            Correct, but he was determined to milk it for all it was worth. The requirements at the time were just that he had to apply so he would show up in a tank top, cut-offs and flip-flops to fill out an application. This was for restaurant industry jobs, where that was the norm at the time.

          1. Vroom Vroom*

            I’ve been called before to confirm that a candidate interviewed for a position and was not offered it. I was like… why? And they said because the candidate was filing for unemployment.

          2. anony*

            Years ago, my husband was on unemployment in Canada and they randomly chose him and asked him to prove where he had looked for work. We filled in a full page of where he had applied (and we were surprised it was as much as it was! He had applied to more places than he thought he did.). Ever since then, every time I end up on unemployment (sadly), I take pains to create a spreadsheet to track where I’ve applied or networked just in case they ask, because they can and sometimes do ask. I think it’s usually random, unless someone put in an anonymous complaint.

            1. Evie*

              It can also be good to do for practical reasons – my BF is currently job hunting and got an email from a company he’d applied to over a month ago, and had written off as “they’ve gone with someone else”. Because he’s been applying for a variety of positions, in a variety of locations (read, cities!) and this one was a website based application (vs an email with cover letter and resume) type, he had to scrounge around to find the original job add to remind himself about the what and where (email from the company just mentioned lining up an interview – not where or for what job, not even if it was for an in person or phone interview!).

              1. Honeybee*

                Yeah, when I was job hunting I started a spreadsheet with the links to the original job ad. It helps if you get contacted later and need to find the ad, and it also helped me avoid applying to the same position more than once.

                1. penny*

                  But you should also copy the job description in case they remove the posting while still interviewing for the job.

              2. CanadianKat*

                I always do a spreadsheet. Also helps with prioritizing. I enter all potential jobs in, together with details (e.g. city, specialization, experience required, application deadline, etc.). Then when I start actually preparing applications, I start with the “best” jobs first – i.e. most relevant to my experience and needs, but keeping in mind the deadline. I also record responses received – i.e. whether they indicated they’d be conducting interviews in 2 weeks (then by week 3 or 4 I can write this off), whether they send a refusal, how far I get in the interview process.

                The spreadsheet contained links, but once I actually applied to a job, I would save the posting offline (as well as the exact copy of what I sent them).

                I also put in the spreadsheet which job sites / other sources to check regularly and when was the last time I checked, so that I don’t miss anything, but don’t have to go over week-old postings if I can see that I checked 3 days ago (though usually that’s daily for me).

        4. Liane*

          In my state, apparently companies report new hires to Workforce Department.
          When you’re on unemployment all you have to do is make 3 job contacts per week. And a contact per Workforce can be as little as a business telling you to go to their website to apply if you walk in and ask if they are hiring. I guess actually filling out the online app would be a second contact.
          Only after so many weeks do you actually have to keep a record of the contacts, so that you can show it if you are asked. Before that point, you just click Yes to the Did You Make 3 Contacts Last Week question when you log in to the site each week.

        5. Canadian Dot*

          I used to work in a retail store (Canada), and we had people come in and ask my manager to sign that they had applied for a job there. Without actually applying for a job. And they were SO put out when my manager would tell them that she’d be happy to sign, if they’d like to fill in an application, drop it off with a resume, and come to a group interview.

          1. Paquita*

            My husband worked at a fast food place years ago. Someone did that one day, the manager said we are hiring now, the guy said ‘I don’t want a job, you just need to sign my paper’. Manager said NO and the guy came over the counter going after the manager. Police were called and took the guy away.

            1. Chaordic One*

              When I was on unemployment and filed my claim every week, in addition to having to apply for only two jobs every week, I was asked if I had been offered and turned down any offers for employment.

              On the one hand, there certainly are lazy people who milk the system, but on the other hand the Department of Workforce Services is so preoccupied with unemployment applicants getting a job, any job, that they don’t give any thought to the actual job, what it pays, the benefits (if any) or if it is a good fit for the unemployed person. They encourage underemployment.

              I fibbed when answering the question, because I turned down a couple of job offers that were not good fits for me, but I denied it on the weekly unemployment claim form. This might not have worked if I had turned down an offer for a job that I applied for through the state Department of Workforce Services website and they had followed up about it. To cover my tracks, I applied for more than just two jobs every week. On my spreadsheet, I left off the jobs that made offers, but didn’t fit me very well. By holding out I took a risk that paid off for me and I was able to get a job that offered a better fit (and better pay and benefits).

              1. curious*

                That’s fraud. The government was GIVING you money. If you want to hold out for a better job, fine, but do it on your own dime. The taxpayers shouldn’t be paying for you to find a “better fit.”

                1. Rayner*

                  But there’s no point in taking a job that pays under the salary you need to survive. Like, if you’ve apllied for full time but they come hack and offer 2.5 days a week, that’s just not going to work even though the computer says you should accept it.

                3. Gina*

                  Each employee pays into the Unemployment Fund. As do the employers. So no the “government” wasn’t giving them anything. I am the payroll admin for my company so I know of what I speak.

                4. Annonymouse*

                  I’d argue it’s less fraudulent than the people in the above examples who asked to be signed off without actually applying.

                  Chaordic One is searching for employment above the bare minimum and looking to find a good job so they don’t have to go back to being on unemployment a year or less later because the pay is too low or the role doesn’t fit their skills.

              2. she was a fast machine*

                Hell, I have worked at a Workforce Office; WE are underemployed. Our ultimate goal is “to make people self-sufficient” but we don’t even make livable wages. So I feel you.

            2. ThatAspie*

              That is the kind of person whose stupidity and dishonesty makes the good people who really do need help look bad. Fortunately, their ilk is actually statistically rare. Unfortunately, the fact that fakers are rare does not seem to deter certain politicians from exaggerating the number of fraudsters and passing useless laws that only make it harder for nice people to get the help they need.

      2. Dan*

        I wanna move there. Virginia unemployment is the same across the state – about $375/week. In Northern Virginia, that pays the rent and nothing more (and that’s if you’re lucky). Whenever I’m on unemployment, I’m thankful the rent is getting paid, but I still have to eat you know. So, I bust my tail to get off of it.

        I wanna move somewhere where unemployment is worth milking.

        1. Elizabeth West*

          I don’t know if there is such a place.

          Ours is based on a percentage of what you were making before (I think), so when I was on it from a lower-paying job, I had to have family help me to even eat. The last time, I got more because I made more–it was still not enough, but the amount of help I needed was much less. And lucky for me, I’d already taken steps to cut back on my expenses. Plus, I could take longer to find something decent rather than taking the first minimum wage thing someone shoved at me. Which would have put me right back on that help-me-eat income tier!

          1. Dan*

            Massachusetts pays $600/week. I’m wondering if Western MA (where things are cheaper) might just be that place… (you could have had a job in Boston where you’d max out the unemployment, and then move.)

            1. afiendishthingy*

              Oh my god, I got paid $400/week working full-time in Mass. In 2014! I lived out of state, though.

              1. afiendishthingy*

                Come to think of it that was my take-home pay, though. It was about $600 before taxes and insurance.

              1. Dan*

                I was laid off from a $70k job in NoVA, where we got the $375. If I understand you correctly, I would have maxed out the $600 in Mass? Yup, I’d rather have that than $375.

          2. Rachel*

            That’s how it works here in Illinois. It’s based on your average weekly wage (pre-tax) in your two highest-earning quarters in the previous year – you get 47% of that per week. (For example, if you made $450/week at your job, you would get $212/week on unemployment – also before taxes.) The maximum weekly amount you get is capped at $437/week. ($521/week if you have a nonworking spouse, $595/week if you have a dependent child/children).

        2. Lee*

          As someone who lives in southern central part of VA (suburb of Richmond), this is enough to live on monthly.
          In fact, the high cost of living in NOVA drove the DOL southern census region income numbers up significantly. I believe it’s because most people who work in D.C. live in Maryland or NOVA, and their high incomes drive up the cost of living and cost of land. I believe there’s additional states taxes in the Hampton Roads area as well.

          1. SouthernBelle*

            No, it’s not. Unless you live in a roommate environment with 0 expenses like credit card debt, utilities, etc. However, if you are a single person, with a mortgage, debt, the need to eat, etc., unemployment paid at $375 ($360 if you allow them to take taxes out of it before you receive it) is not enough. Source: Firsthand knowledge in the Hampton Roads area.

            2. Lee*

              Absolutely, it’s another world in NOVA and around the Hampton Roads area.

              The rest of Virginia…not so much.

              1. Honeybee*

                Rent must be super cheap outside of NoVA and Hampton Roads (the only two parts of VA I’m familiar with). That’s only $1,500 a month.

        3. Court*

          It’s not supposed to be worth milking. It’s supposed to provide for your absolute necessities while you get back on your feet.

          1. Vicki*

            I’ve been on unemployment It’s barely minimum wage, requires a lot of paperwork, and has a set end date.

        4. A grad student*

          I’m in SW Virginia, and that’s about what I make off my graduate stipend, so it might be worth milking if you moved down here!

    2. Florida*

      Years ago, I worked in the training/recruiting office of a timeshare resort. Someone came to an interview wearing a golf shirt with the logo of our main competitor! We probably would not have held the golf shirt against him. It was casual, but he looked neat. But why a golf shirt with the name of our main competitor? That’s like going to apply for a job at Coke while wearing a Pepsi shirt.
      This was a place that hired almost anyone with a pulse to work in the sales department. He didn’t get the job.

    3. KarenD*

      We’re a medium-sized company in a well-known resort location.We don’t have this as much any more (because there just aren’t that many openings any more, and we don’t do the kind of 2-3 day interview that used to be standard) but at one point, every time we advertised a position we’d see marked interest from people who were retired or had taken nice buyouts. Some of their resumes were impressive, to say the least – so impressive that we’d almost have to bring them in for an interview.

      And those interviews would go something like this: They’d walk in, look around with a distinctly unimpressed air, make comments like “Oh, you still use salt glaze on your teapots? How very quaint!” and offer our senior management some “friendly critiques” about how we could be oh, so much better. They’d answer our questions politely but vaguely and then drill down on what was really important: That golf course by my hotel. Is it public or private? What are the other good courses in the area? Do you have any designed by Famous Golf Course Designer Guy? How about other Famous Golf Course Designer Guy? How hard is it to get a decent tee time? Some of them actually booked tee times during the interview trip! (We didn’t really mind if they asked to come a day or two early or leave a day or two late, but they were scheduling golf while they were supposed to be interviewing.)

      Unfortunately for us, our high-echelon management was easily starstruck and any time they got wind of one of these “superstars,” we had to make an effort to reel them in. All we could do is place side bets on how soon in the conversation the G-word would come up.

      Then there was Boyfriend Woman. She wanted to move here because her boyfriend lived here. Fair enough. But on the first day of the interview, she asked what restaurant they planned to take her to (meals were a structured part of the interview process) and then called her boyfriend and told him where to meet us! This was, by the way, a mid-career professional, not someone fresh out of college and deficient of clues.

    4. Steve*

      I got a mere 8 page resume from a candidate. When it was time to do the coding part of the interview he turned what should have been a 6-line method into 50 lines or so. Coincidence, or just stupid?

    5. Vicki*

      A friend of mine once interviewed a candidate for a system admin job. The candidate showed up in bright yellow sweatpants and sweatshirt.

      He was not hired.

  4. Alston*

    I got a 17 page resume from someone. It had his education back through preschool and listed accomplishments/what he’d learned from it as well.

      1. Hermione*

        I’d love it if his advancement in color theory or tactile painting techniques were listed as growth-accomplishments through his later schooling.

      2. INTP*

        I’m wondering if it was a private or competitive preschool and he was really trying to convey “Hey, I have rich parents, hire me fellow snobs!”

        2. One of the Sarahs*

          My sister landed in a weird set of uni accommodation. At the first “get to know you” night, this group of posh-accented people rampaged through the room asking everyone “Did you PAY?”. My sister was all “WTF?”, but politely asked what they meant. “For your education, did you PAY?” Cue my sister and her flatmates cracking up at the idea of a 6 year old handing over her pocket money and such – and instant bonding, so you can still ask them, 15 years later, “Did you PAY?” and be guaranteed hilarity will ensue.

          1. Fog*

            Ah yes, I went to a private school where I had to hide the fact that I was a “scholarship kid” if I wanted to make friends. Glad your friend and her roommates got to bond over it.

      3. A*

        Reminds me of Frank Caliendo’s joke about muppets looking for jobs – Grover’s resume said he was an “expert in spatial relations,” which basically just meant he knew the difference between ‘near’ and ‘far.’

    3. Apparatchic*

      This made me laugh out loud. I really want to know what his key accomplishments were through middle school.

      1. addlady*

        “Learn how to hit on target gender through a variety of techniques including negging, sweet-talking, and deception. Eventually just settled on being straight-forward and cleaning up personal appearance and behaviors.”

    4. KE*

      Similar, except my candidate’s was only 4 pages, but still managed to include his middle school theater production credits and which roles he played.

      This position was in no way related to the arts, public speaking, or anything else where childhood theater participation could be considered remotely relevant.

      1. Artemesia*

        Hard to imagine what he could have been thinking. For a theater job, it would fit in a cover letter about one’s lifelong passion for theater I suppose. But anything else? While a new grad might reference work during HS — middle school? WTF.

    5. Dan*

      At my prior job (government contractor), we had someone from the South submit a 10-page resume… which included his work as a pastor at his church.

      We didn’t hire him.

      1. LawLady*

        So 10 pages is obviously problematic. But if he worked as a pastor, wouldn’t it be pretty normal to include that on a resume as work experience? There are lots of great transferrable skills from being in the clergy. (i.e. people skills, public speaking, discretion)

        1. KR*

          Seconding this – pastors work HARD. It requires a lot of interpersonal skills, volunteer coordination, research, historical knowledge.

          1. Dan*

            No argument there. The thing is, our primary (and sole) work was supporting a federal agency. This guy actually had 20 years of experience working for said federal agency, and that was what made us interested in him. So the pastoral work was completely incidental, and two pages of it was just… strange. (Ok, not strange in the context of a ten page resume, but when you’re interested in the 20 years of experience he had as his primary job, reading two pages about church is just weird.) If you *are* going to write two pages about a job with transferable skills, focus on the transferable skills, and de-focus the actual employment.

            I wasn’t privy to the hiring decisions, but when I looked at the 10 page monster, I was like “damn.” The church stuff, not focused on transferable skills, just added to it.

            1. Mickey Q*

              My dad put a 30-year career spread over 7 different countries on 1 page.
              I laugh every time I see someone with 5 years of experience or even 10 have to go to multiple pages.

            2. Snargulfuss*

              Well, I’ve heard federal recruiters often talk about how much more info you include on a federal-style resume as opposed to a traditional one. Perhaps because the organization is a government contractor he thought it want a federal-style resume.

        2. Dan*

          I get what you’re saying, and this is where it comes down to a resume being a marketing document. If he turned in a page or two with a bullet or two discussing his pastorial work, I don’t think I’d bat an eye — particularly if he focused on the transferable skills aspects.

          But 1) It was a ten page document, and 2) That means he had a couple of pages to explain how his pastorial skills are useful outside the clergy, and he didn’t do it.

          The whole package just came across as WTF. TBH, I have the same sentiment reading many stories here — the underlying motives seem OK, but it’s the delivery/what’s done about it that gets people shown the door. Take the one about the job that was paying at the below end of market range plus no benefits. The applicant more or less told the interviewer that the company was a bunch of cheap bastards and only cared about profit. You know what? She’s 100% right, but her delivery was just completely wrong. Same idea here.

      2. Miss Betty*

        Pastor is a legitimate job and a legitimate career path which, in most mainstream denominations, requires a college degree, often a masters degree. It also requires a gamut of skills, including writing, public speaking, counseling, management and supervision, even bookkeeping, accounting, and web skills if the church is small. (I know some denominations and independent churches allow people – usually men – to be ordained without any education, but they’re not they majority.)

        I can understand why you were put off by the 10 page resume, but are you seriously suggesting that someone leave a job off their resume just because it’s pastor? What if this is someone changing careers – do you expect them to show up with a blank resume? What if they’re a part-time pastor (same requirements as a full-time pastor) that needs a secular job to supplement her pastor income. That’s not uncommon for small church pastors. Do you really discount all their education, skills, and experience just because they’re a pastor? (And does it matter that they’re from the south? What if he’d been a nothern pastor?)

        1. Dan*

          See above, but the preaching job was a side thing. He had 20 years working for the federal agency that my company supported, and that was the interest we had in him.

          Since you asked… in the context of what my company did (government contracting), and his total background (includes 20 years of employment by the federal agency we supported), it was out of place to spend two pages on pastoral work. Am I suggesting he leave it off entirely? If he’s not going to focus on the transferable skills, yes. (Remember, you don’t have to put every job you’ve ever had on a resume.)

          His package would have read very differently if he limited his resume to 1-2 pages, limited discussion of his church work to two or three sentences, and discussed some of the transferable skills in his cover letter.

          The reality is, the position required 15 years of experience in his primary job. Without that, nothing else matters.

          1. Artemesia*

            I suspect since he was from the south, he thought this would help him because discrimination based on religion is a thing there. One of the topics of conversation we constantly were emerged in when we first settled in the south for my job was ‘where do you go to church’ or ‘you will feel more comfortable once you are churched.’ Church membership is a plus or even a requirement many places.

            1. Lefty*

              Absolutely agree that this could have been a contributor!

              As a former government contractor in a Southern state as well, I can recall MANY instances of someone asking what church I was going to join… and some clear distaste for my lack of an answer.

    6. Rincat*

      I got a resume like that once from a woman who had earned about 6 degrees (two Bachelors, 4 Masters) in very disparate things. She’d been employed as an admin assistant for a state government for about 30 years and I guess they funded all her school work. She put down not only every college class she ever attend (and it was a LOT), but also every conference and session she ever attended! Like “How to make greeting cards in Photoshop.”

      1. Edith*

        My goodness. Not even my employer who pays for me to go to conferences cares which sessions I go to.

    7. intldevt*

      Ohhhh god. Amazing. I once got a super, super long CV from someone that included CHAPTERS and extensive personal anecdotes. It’s like he had started off trying to write a memoir, given up, and then said “hmm, I could rework some of this for my CV.” I will never forget the chapter (entitled “my teenage years”) that began with “the death of my father affected me profoundly…”

      1. Snork Maiden*

        Oh man. You can’t just leave us hanging here, intldevt! How did he overcome his grief? Did he overcome his grief?

      2. Elizabeth West*

        We got one like that once at Exjob that was a handwritten document, with a photocopy of the guy’s driver’s license at the top. It rambled on for pages. We kept it for a while just because it was so bizarre. I called it “the manifesto resume.”

        2. Artemesia*

          We got one on a large postcard written in a spiral from the outside curving around in circles to the center — with a little extra on the front of the card. We got another with a velum cover sheet with scrolled border and a really ugly head shot with (X organizations new VP for Finance) under it. I mean we were not giving points for attractiveness in hiring the VP but why would you lead with a picture if you were goofy looking? I actually wondered if it were an experiment for a dissertation i.e. sent the same resume to 20 similar jobs, some with pictures of handsome man, some with black man, some with goofy guy, and some with a woman’s picture to see if this affected interview calls.

      3. OpheliaInWaders*

        I suspect we work in the same field…I once got a CV that not only included things like conferences and such, but also included the birth dates of children and the applicant’s blood type! (Said CV did not include pertinent things like actual dates of employment or descriptions of roles)

          1. SusanIvanova*

            Or waches too much anime? Anime/manga characters frequently show them because in Japan blood types are like astrology signs: they’re supposed to say something about your personality.

            1. Julia*

              My Japanese friends and colleagues are always astonished when I say I do not know my blood type. But since there are only 4 (and I guess negatives), does that mean there are only four personality types and everyone with the same one as me must have similar characteristics? At least zodiac signs have some variety.

              1. SusanIvanova*

                Wikipedia says yep, only 4: wiki Blood_type_personality_theory The history behind it is interesting, since it’s a very recent development.

    8. Jadelyn*

      WOW! That beats the 12-pager that’s holding my current record – it went back to his first job as a dishwasher in a monastery in the 70s.

      1. Marillenbaum*

        Not gonna lie, that sounds like it has the potential to be a very interesting backdrop for a novel.

      2. many bells down*

        There’s a political candidate on the local election ballot I just got that’s listed every job he ever held as “relelvant experience”. All the way back to “Costco cashier”.

        1. Janice in Accounting*

          To be honest, if more political candidates had at one point worked as Costco cashiers, they might be better plugged in to the needs of their constituents.

    9. 1023*

      I recently received a similar resume, however it also listed the accomplishments of his children (getting into top schools, competitive sports, etc.). I have no idea why he thought that was important to the role we are hiring for.

      1. afiendishthingy*

        “I have no idea why he thought that was important to the role we are hiring for.” <—- Mantra of everyone who reads resumes

        I got a 2-page resume from a recent grad, written in approximately 4 point font (ok, maybe 7 or 8), which included like 15 bullet points about a summer internship in a university experimental forest. Very technical biochemistry stuff that none of us knew anything about, because we are a human services agency.

        Also had somebody list all their firearms certifications. Yes, that will come in handy in this job working with 5-year-olds with autism!

        Another applicant's only job experience was as "Hawaiian Hula Dancer". That was the job title.

        1. EGdub*

          I work with college students, who often have limited experience and list funny things because, well, that’s all they have, but I have seen two undergrads list modeling experience on their resumes.

      2. Honeybee*

        A lot of modern parents of high-achieving kids subscribe to this model I like to call ‘managed childhood.’ They see themselves as essentially the executive producers of their children’s lives, helping them curate their extracurricular activities, volunteer activities, summer experiences, music lessons, dance lessons, sports leagues, standardized testing…it’s exhausting to listen to them talk about. (I moderate an online community filled with these kids and their parents, and I used to do SAT tutoring to – as you can imagine – wealthy parents who could afford the price tag and intended for their kids to go to elite schools. The parents do indeed talk about their children’s accomplishments as if they were a joint effort or a project managed or something like that.)

    10. B-Bam*

      I received a 9 page resume once as a follow up to a normal resume from the applicant because they felt we could handle the truth. Rather than list jobs, it was a very disturbing account of the person’s life through the lens of very serious mental health issues. I shredded it out of consideration to the person who was clearly having a crisis but some of it stuck in my head – mostly the bit where the person went off on how it was not them in that 1970s porn movie but their high school nemesis with the applicant’s face superimposed on it.

      2. Mookie*

        Wow. Just out of curiosity, where they old enough to have been in a 70s porn, or was time-travel involved?

    11. vpc*

      My CV is ten pages, one per year, but it’s federal-style, and even then it starts with my college education and my first post-college job, since those are the first elements relevant to my field. My resume fits on a page.

      I reviewed one recently where the person had noted every single performance bonus she ever received… and she hadn’t gotten one since 2010, after getting one every year for the previous ten or so. That caused us to probe a little deeper about performance in her current position during the interview, for sure! It came down to “that boss just doesn’t like me if I don’t meet deadlines or do quality work.” So we didn’t hire her, ’cause deadlines and quality are pretty important on our team.

      1. Artemesia*

        No senior academic worth his salt will have a CV shorter than 15 or 20 pages; it is an entirely different deal than a resume.

        1. SomeoneLikeAnon*

          I have several resumes. My federal is roughly 10 pages spanning a 12-year career. I have a 4-5 page high level one. Then I have a two-page one that I cherry pick from the high level and federal. I usually only turn in the two-page, unless asked for more detail.

    12. Library Director*

      Oh my. When I was a school librarian there was a period I was required to give grades. So, silly me, I made the learning real. When one of the pre-teen grades would blow off the in-library work I graded accordingly. I had parents who were horrified and argued that they would never get into a good college. I used to assure them that no college or job interviewer was going to ask what their grade in library was. I did point out that the assignment was using research materials answers and making flash cards for the annual teapot history test. So, by blowing off the work they were throwing away prime study time for the big test.

  5. Anon for this*

    – Calling and calling and calling and calling

    – Trying to use the fact that she went to the same church as a manager (they hadn’t met previously – big church)

    1. TheAssistant*

      How did she even know about the church?! Other than “do you go to House of God? I think I saw you last Sunday!” this screams creepy to me.

      1. Chinook*

        “How did she even know about the church?! ”

        Depends on how they participate. If anyone does readings, is in the choir or gives communion, people will know them on sight (even if they can’t place from where). On the flip side, from giving out communion, I also recognize church goers by their face even if we have never talked (only because we are required to watch them eat the host, so you actually do spend a moment looking at their face).

        I wouldn’t call it creepy, just weird and not how I would introduce myself unless I thought I knew them from somewhere but couldn’t place them.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            If this is a Catholic church, the host is considered a blessed object and you aren’t supposed to do anything weird with it. Like palm it and take it to your weekend Satanic ritual, for example. When the priest does the ritual that goes, “The body of Christ; the blood of Christ,” etc., Catholics believe that the host and wine actually change to the actual body and blood of Jesus. It’s called transubstantiation. Some churches put it on your tongue and some let you receive it in your hand. But you have to eat it right then–you can’t just walk off with it.

            When they started giving it in your hand and letting you feed it to yourself, I was always terrified I would drop mine and the priest would thunder,”YOU HAVE PROFANED THE HOLINESS OF THE EUCHARIST!” in front of the whole church.

            1. Chinook*

              What Elizabeth said. I have actually had no-catholics come up for communion and take the host and not consume it but just walk off, looking at it. We are worried, at worse, about it being stolen for satanic rituals and, at best, being left as a bookmark in a hymnal (which, for we believers, would be the equivalent of leaving Jesus between the pages). One guy, with dementia, walked away and had three different people stop him before he got back to his seat to make sure he knew he either had to consume it or give it back (to be consumed or left in water to disintegrate. When the latter doesn’t happen in the water, it is considered a miracle and has happened 3 in the last 500 years. Google Eucharistic miracle – Argentina for one example).

              Sometimes it is with the best of intentions that this happens. I saw a child split it in half to share with her non-Catholic friend. The priest later had to explain that while she had great intentions, it wasn’t something she should do. In our eyes, it is like giving a $100 bill to a 2 year old – all they see is a pretty piece of paper that everyone wants without understanding its true value.

              1. Amber T*

                Right before my uncle’s funeral mass began, an adult daughter of a friend of his and my aunt, who was Jewish, was asking a lot of questions, and while curiosity is good and its always positive to learn about other religions, you gotta consider the time and place (asking my mourning aunt why you have to stand/sit/kneel while she’s digging around for tissues = NOT GOOD).

                So it’s time in the mass to receive the host. I was in the front pew with my aunt so we had already returned to our seats before people in the back had received. This woman walks up to the priest, plucks it from his hands before he says anything, and starts walking away. It took the priest a second to realize what was happening before he chased her down. Now I have a horrible habit of laughing during funerals (a weird nervous tick? I have no idea what’s wrong with me), but it was hard not to chuckle. If this had happened not at a funeral, it would have been very difficult not to laugh out loud.

                1. Isabel*

                  Oh man, this made me remember one of my most embarrassing moments:

                  I was not raised going to church. When I was in high school, a classmate died in an accident. Her service was held in a Catholic church. The friend sitting next to me had been very close to the girl who died and sobbed, quietly but inconsolably, throughout the service. She was Catholic. When it came time for the Eucharist, she pulled me up and clung to my arm, dragging me up the aisle as I whispered my protests. I didn’t want to manually peel her off my arm as she cried! So there I was, in line and then in front of the priest, with absolutely no idea what to do. He held the wafer to me and looked into my eyes. I wanted to disappear. So… I took it in my hand, mumbled thank you and hurried away.

                  UGH, it was even worse than I thought. No one came after me, but that is probably because the place was packed and there was no space to give chase!

                2. Chinook*

                  Isabel, honestly, if they thought you shouldn’t have it or did something shifty, they would have chased you even if the place was packed, trust me. But, if you ate it quietly, no one would have noticed or said anything because we literally have no clue if you have had First Communion or not. add to that the fact that you were doing a “good thing” by physically supporting your friend, I would consider the issue an non-issue. Part of what Catholics consider a requirement of sin is intent. You had no intent (in fact, your intent was the opposite) and you consumed it (I am guessing). Ergo, nothing to feel horrible about.

                4. Mander*

                  This reminds me of my great-uncle’s funeral many years ago. My whole family is generic, not very observant Protestant, except for said uncle who converted to Catholicism when he fell in love with my aunt. At the funeral it rapidly became very obvious which of us were the non-Catholics. The poor priest was very confused at first when half the congregation didn’t know what to do or what prayers to say, so he started giving us instructions. It added a bit of humor to the service.

                5. Omne*

                  This is to Mander- I grew up Lutheran and I found out the first time I went to a Catholic church with my GF that our Lord’s Prayer is longer than the Catholic version (Our Father). Suddenly I was the only person speaking in the entire church.

                  BTW in case anyone runs into it, if you go through the Eucharist line as a non-Catholic you can cross your hands in front of your chest and bow slightly to the Priest, normally they acknowledge you or give you a quick blessing. It isn’t universal but either way it’s a fairly graceful way of opting out.

                6. Anonicat*

                  I’m way late to this discussion but man, for my next resume I should list my experience as a Brownie Junior Leader (aged 16)! Clearly recruiters are dying to hear about how my leadership skills were developed by teaching 8-year-olds to set fires!

        2. Gaia*

          I will admit that, being not at all religious, I was unfamiliar with the phrase “eat the host” and had a moment of abject horror when I thought you meant they EAT THE HOST.

          And then I read Elizabeth West’s comment below and felt silly.

          1. Chinook*

            ” had a moment of abject horror when I thought you meant they EAT THE HOST”

            And that is why that silly rumour about Catholics being cannibals/eating small children just won’t go away. :)

    2. Amber T*

      I was promoted earlier this year, but it had to officially wait til they hired my replacement. My old job included manning the front desk, so I got to meet some of the people interviewing for my position. One woman…

      – Had her rabbi call one of the partners (who was not part of the search, I doubt he even realized we were hiring) since they belonged to the same temple and “personally recommend” her. He was very confused.

      – Had her son tell another partner’s daughter (they went to school together, not sure if they were friends) that his mom was really looking forward to working with her dad (this partner had a say in whether or not she was hired, but would not be working directly with her).

      – Shook my hand on her way out after her final interview and said “I look forward to replacing you.”

      She was not hired.

      1. Artemesia*

        Somehow I am feeling a tick of empathy here. An inexperienced job seeker who is middle aged and trying to get into the labor force and knows that it is ‘who you know’ that is important and trying to do what she thinks the big players do. Sad.

    3. Library Director*

      We just interviewed someone. We’re very clear that primary communication is through email and not to call about the job before or after the interview. I’ll answer as many questions via email as the person needs. We just interviewed a young man. He personally knows one of the interviewers. His girlfriend called the interviewer to see when he would be hired. He was already at the bottom of the pile for a myriad of reasons.

  6. Evie*

    We had a retail store and an office component to our company. We were hiring for the office but had them go to the store down a floor to wait and someone went down and got them. The interview was fine, she seemed normal and we probably would have hired her. After she left the store person called up to tell us a story.

    The interviewee had come in and commented on the squeaky floors. The retail person said yeah it is an old building etc.. The interviewee then told her that her house was old and had creaky floors and “that’s why she didn’t let fat people come over.”

    ………

      1. KateHR*

        People don’t realize that people in offices talk, which is why you should always be nice to everyone you encounter. I trust our receptionist impression on a candidate then the owner of our company.

        2. Noah*

          Yes! If you ever interview with an airline, and are given a ticket to travel, staff will note in your reservation how you act and your appearance.

  7. Cara*

    My old building happened to be next to a Mosque and we were interviewing for an entry level admin position. One guy we interviewed (in his 40s or so) asked if we had ‘anything to do with THOSE people’ while rolling his eyes and tutting. No matter how we pulled the question set he’d bring everything back to religion and our proximity to the Mosque. When we mentioned our equal opps policy he acknowledged the importance of diversity and equality….

    4. MommaTRex*

      Did you thank him? Don’t we all wish candidates would be this open in interviews so we know we which resumes to round-file?

  8. Us, Too*

    I asked a software engineering candidate one time to explain how he approached a particularly difficult technical problem. He started to explain his understanding of the problem and then 5 seconds into his explanation, he paused, looked at me and said, “I could explain, but you probably wouldn’t understand.”

    1. Myrin*

      !!!
      How did he think interviewing works? They’re putting together the most clueless people in the company and see which job candidate can best explain things to them?

      1. Dan*

        I’ve been interviewed who don’t necessarily understand my background (transferable skillset), and when I suspect that may be the case, I simply ask if they are familiar with those techniques. If they say no, then I uplevel the description with something they can grasp.

        I was once interviewed by someone who very much had a background in what I was doing. For 15 minutes, she kept saying she didn’t understand some nuanced part. It wasn’t that complicated, but I learned if I had to work with her, I’d kill my self. Good thing it was a day long interview and they have six different groups.

        2. SystemsLady*

          Oh how did we ever know. Bet he didn’t use th Dear God.

          We actually *hired* a temp like that (long, complicated story about what he actually was) who outright told us he thought our job was beneath him and that’s why he went for the job he had. Which was in no way above us – it was simply a position that organized things so they were ready for us.

          That’s a paraphrase that sounds worse than what he actually said, but the paraphrase sums up his overall behavior pretty well. Consistently proclaiming he knew enough about something to do it himself then doing it completely wrong, etc.

          He was brought into the president’s office and fired pretty quickly once my old boss (who liked him for some reason, which had nothing to do with his own personality I’m sure) quit and the new one started.

    5. SusanIvanova*

      *boggle*

      I ask software interviewees about interesting problems they’ve had to solve, and as software’s a big field sometimes it’s areas I don’t know. So I’ve listened to answers that I didn’t understand, but I could tell that *they* did by the way they explained it, and that’s what I was looking for.

  9. H.C.*

    More amusing than straight out weird, but I had one where a project manager candidate proclaimed he’s natural leader and take charge type because he’s an Aries. (He mentioned this pretty early on too, so I was fairly distracted/nonplussed for the rest of the half-hour session.)

    1. Arjay*

      This one hit my funny bone. I’m going to try to work “As an Aries, I…” into conversations today. :)

    2. Security SemiPro*

      I had this! I asked a candidate why they believed they were qualified for a job and their answer was “Well, I’m a Virgo, so I’m detail oriented.”

      I had difficulty listening to the rest of their answers because I was so distracted trying to figure out how star sign was a qualified skill. And if belief that star sign could be a skill was an immediate disqualifier for a very logic/fact checking based position. (And what if their belief in astrology was strong enough to be considered religious? But then, declaring religious faith isn’t exactly a qualifying skill either, and still inappropriate for a job interview…)

      1. Serin*

        “Well, I’m a Virgo, so I’m detail oriented.”

        Ooh, that reminds me of the time I received a resume (for a position that required a fair amount of writing) that said the author was “detail-orientated.”

        1. H.C.*

          I know I’ve commented about this on AAM before – but this reminded me of a resume that said “Copy editor: 2011 – 2913”

          1. Creag an Tuire*

            Somewhere there’s a person facing a wall full of details and an immortal time-traveling copy-editor who are wondering why they never get call-backs.

            3. A*

              “an immortal time-traveling copy-editor who [is] wondering why they never get call-backs.”

              So THAT’S what The Doctor does when he’s not saving the universe…

        2. UKJo*

          Actually “orientated” is fine in Britain! I just double checked because I kept reading your post and wondering where the prob was. Of course, if they were American then your point stands :)

            1. Artemesia*

              Well I learned something. I have always assumed orientate, administrate and doctorial degree were all associated with the semi-literate.

      2. KateHR*

        I had someone tell me this too! And they also asked what my sign was and proceeded to tell me all about myself!!!!

      3. DJ*

        Honestly, I think it’s no less BS than saying “I’m a green so therefore I..” or “I’m an ENfP so I…” or any other nonsensical pop psychology junk.

    3. Karo*

      I have a work-friend that does this a lot, but not just with herself – she also projects it onto other people. Like “Oh, as a Cancer, you should do exactly what you said you were going to but with this tiny random tweak because emotions matter more to you.” And, yeah, emotions do matter to me, but so does logic. Because I’m a person.

      Pretty much every time that happens I have to walk away from the conversation.

      1. Kai*

        I have a coworker at my new job who says this kind of thing to me. It’s like, really? You’re surprised I’m a Virgo because I don’t exhibit every Virgo tendency?

        1. Cath in Canada*

          I once had a friend of a friend who barely even knew me insist that I must have got my own birthday wrong because there was no way I could possibly be an Aquarius. She went on and on about it. I just walked away in the end.

      2. AcademiaNut*

        You can avoid this by telling people that you were born under the sign of Ophiuchus the Serpent bearer…. Or, if you want, lecture them on the precession of the equinoxes until their eyes glaze over.

        I’m a bit sensitive on this point, having had more than one person ask me about my career in astrology.

        1. Kenji*

          I’m born on the dividing line between two signs, and I’ve learned a certain LOOK astrology fans get when they hear my birthday and light up with excitement…I’ve gotten very good at inwardly cringeing and then nodding through a lecture on what it means to be “on the CUSP of saggitarius”

        2. SpiderN0ises*

          I’ve done this. xD That would be a great star sign. And apparently the sun can be in Cetus in March? It’s such a cute constellation.

    4. AnotherAlison*

      Ah well, as a Leo married to a Sagitarrius, I do know that that is completely true. . .all the fire signs are natural born leaders. Ha ha ha.

    5. Bookworm*

      Was there any possibility he was kidding? I tend to assume people are joking when they say stuff like that.

      1. H.C.*

        My co-interviewer and I considered it, but the candidate ended his response with that line (rather than starting with it & then going “Haha, just kidding, but seriously – I have demonstrated initiative numerous times in my previous roles with examples XYZ…”)

        So yeah, even as a joke that was weird – since we have to cut the silence by moving onto another question or following up on that fascinating star sign tidbit.

      2. Security SemiPro*

        If there had been more of an answer, maybe? But it was the entire answer! Said in the same tone as “Well, as a 15 year college professor, I’m comfortable with speaking to groups.” Self evident, no more explanation needed.

    6. Camellia*

      I took a “fun” personality test one time and the results came out as “mantis shrimp”. When I read the description to my family, they pretty much agreed that…it was right on target. :)

      “Mantis shrimps sport powerful claws that are used to attack and kill prey by spearing, stunning, or dismemberment. In captivity, some larger species are capable of breaking through aquarium glass with a single strike.”

      1. Allons-y*

        Can you imagine using that result to describe yourself instead of a star sign?
        “Well, as a Mantis Shrimp, I don’t sit well in long meetings…”

    7. Ann Cognito*

      I asked a candidate one time to explain where they learned their ethics and values, one of a series of questions on that topic that we always asked at that organization, and she said “I’m a Virgo and so is my brother.” My co-worker, who was interviewing with me, wouldn’t look at me and I didn’t want to catch her eye either, but the second the candidate left the room at the end we fell around laughing, and never figured-out exactly what she meant.

      1. Ann Cognito*

        We did follow-up with here there and then, but her explanation made as much sense as the original response!

  10. ashleyh*

    I had a job where I hired a lot of teens at their first job. I got a lot of great stories from that, but my favorite was the teenager who got an interview because his family donated a lot of money to our organization. He showed up to his interview wearing a t-shirt that said “F*ck B*tches Get Paid” and said he was really looking for a job where he’d get paid a lot for doing as little work as possible

    1. AdAgencyChick*

      Oh my goodness. Did you have to hire him because the parents were donors? Please tell me this story ends with his parents knocking some sense into him…but I bet it doesn’t. :(

    2. Katie F*

      Well, hey, at least he was honest. So he had that going for him. He couldn’t have telegraphed it any better if he’d tattooed “I Will Be a Wretched Choice, Don’t Pick Me” to his forehead.

    3. EleanoraUK*

      Hahaha, no one told him this is not one of those situations where ‘at least I’m honest about it’ applies.

    4. Me2*

      Many years ago, I worked in HR at a large auto supply chain store, most of our hires were teenagers applying for their first or second job, usually in our parts department. I’ll never forget the applicant who had previous experience working at two different fast food companies and listed his supervisors as “Wendy” and “Jack.” No, those weren’t actual supervisor names.

    5. Naomi*

      I have to wonder if that guy was pushed into the interview by his parents and was deliberately trying to tank it so he wouldn’t be offered the job.

      2. AshleyH*

        Oh, 100%. My VP called our development director and said in no uncertain terms that unfortunately we could not hire the kid.

    6. Dan*

      While I actually share the same career goal as this guy, I have learned that discretion is the better part of valor.

    7. KR*

      I just had a new hire (teenager or early 20s) show up for her on-boarding process in a belly shirt. Thankfully we had some company shirts to give her before she went to HR and I gave her a quick low-down on the dress code. And no, it wasn’t her first job.

      1. JennyFair*

        We had to provide pictures of our hands for a project at work (which sounds about as effective and valuable as you are picturing right this moment) and I had one of my reports provide a shot done during one of her part-time modeling job shoots that was her bare midriff with her hands tucked into her jeans. Gorgeous, artsy pic…totally not work appropriate.

  11. Act*

    OH. And of course, our long list of ridiculous writing samples. Some favorites:

    – Some guy sent us porn. Little a story about him having sex.
    – The woman who sent us a paper on why witchcraft is real.
    – The guy who sent us his defense of the pedophile in Lolita.
    – Werewolf. Fanfic.

    Writing samples are the best.

    1. Myrin*

      What kind of job did you hire for, if I may ask? Something related to creative writing? Because if not, if it’s about e. g. scientific writing, these samples or even more off-base!

      (I mean, I love me some werewolf fanfic but not in the workplace!)

      1. Act*

        Marketing writing. We basically did a dance whenever we got writing samples that were even mildly relevant. Never change, people who send in writing samples, never change.

        1. De Minimis*

          We require all candidates to do a writing sample, regardless of the job [org is a non-profit involved in education.] I would love to see some werewolf fanfic, most of the ones I’ve seen are just job related essay questions.

          1. Act*

            We had a dramatic reading. It was great.

            That said, the boring ones tend to be more helpful for hiring.

    2. Tris Prior*

      When I was working for a newspaper, we had a reporter candidate send in explicit poetry as her writing sample….

      Just, no.

      1. Nanc*

        Oh gosh the “Poetry” samples! We writing for technology firms and never once has a client asked us for a white paper in iambic pentameter or free verse! (I hope I didn’t just jinx myself because we currently have no poet on staff).

      2. YankeeNonprofitChick*

        I’m a poet who has always had a “day job,” first as a journalist, then in PR, now in fundraising. I would never have sent a poem as a writing sample for any position. I was actually quite closeted as a poet until I realized if you googled me most of the results were poetry-related. So I started mentioning it in job interviews, briefly. I had one interviewer ask me if I were able to be organized (because poets are flakes???). At another position, I was put in charge of a data conversion and I joked, who thought it was a good idea to put the poet in charge of the database?

        1. Amber T*

          My college offered a scholarship for math and science (and once upon a time, I thought I was going to be a math major). You had to write an essay about how math/science interested you, or what you liked about it, I don’t quite remember at this point. I wrote a poem. I did not get the scholarship.

          (My first day of calc, the professor was taking attendance, got to my name, looked at me, and said “you’re the poet?” I was embarrassed and friends have not let me live that down since.)

            1. RhysasaurusRex*

              My college essay was a 1 act play of me doing a dramatic poetry reading.

              My highschool later used it in an example packet of how to write awesome admission essays. Not sure what they were thinking.

              (to be fair, I was accepted to my first choice).

              2. Marillenbaum*

                As someone who used to work in college admissions, that’s pretty cool! I wouldn’t recommend it for most people, because it’s easy to do wrong, but if you have confidence and skill as a writer–HECK YES! It makes reading all those applications a little less soul-crushing.

    3. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      I am so, so disappointed that in my years of hiring writers, I have never received anything like this :(

      The only non-work samples I get are boring school papers.

    5. Anon Moose*

      Oh, I should have read the comments before posting. We had an in depth writing sample analyzing video games like Mario and Legend of Zelda at my nonprofit. Not as disqualifying but still.

        1. Artemesia*

          I used to read college applications; the most memorable was the first person account of his birth offered by one candidate.

      2. Act*

        This isn’t odd to me…? If the only work the candidate had was scholarly and it was a strongly constructed paper, whether the subject matter was traditionally highbrow enough is a weird quibble.

        1. Anon Moose*

          It was not the only work the candidate had done from their resume, and it was unfortunately badly edited. It was also just not a good match to the job which was writing in the legal field. I didn’t actually nix it (I actually read it with some interest) but my boss did. She frowns on academic writing samples for this job anyway, since they aren’t that helpful.

    6. Lemon Zinger*

      Amazing. I may have gone to college with the Lolita guy. “It’s a beautiful love story!’

      1. Liane*

        I need to text one of my references and make sure he isn’t going to answer, “She’s very detail oriented, and her proofreading skills greatly improved the quality of my Star Wars fanfics,” when asked about my work quality.
        Wait, I don’t need to bother–he has more sense.

        But it is true!

        1. Amber T*

          Writing fanfic is awesome and has definitely improved my writing skills. That being said… I don’t particularly want my employer or coworkers reading any of my stuff.

    8. blushing anonymous*

      I was one of those people!! right out of college, a local weekly newspaper was hiring…. I don’t even remember… a restaurant reviewer or something? they asked for three writing samples. I sent them:

      1. a college paper — maybe my senior project about the affects of panopticism on gender roles in the railway children
      2. one of my BEST Poems
      3. a paper on some french novel (I don’t remember which) written for a French Lit class. IN FRENCH

      I hope they got a good laugh at least…

      1. Buffay the Vampire Layer*

        The writing sample in French might actually be my favorite story of the day.

    11. lindsay*

      We just hired a business manager and one of the candidates brought in a list of her poetry publications. The only relevant part was the offhand comment about writing a business plan for expanding her publications/writing.

    13. Carpe Librarium*

      Now I kinda want to apply for jobs that require writing samples. I’d send a couple of suitable items, then include a short fun one with a note that it’s just to amuse the sample-reader if they need a break from the applications.

  12. burnout*

    I had an interviewee who was late to her interview. At about the 15 minute mark, 2 of my staff came into my office to tell me that they saw a woman in the ladies’ room washing her hair in the sink. As in, head under the faucet, shampoo on the counter washing her hair. They thought it might be my interviewee. Sure enough, it was. She arrived for her interview looking like a drowned rat with soaking wet hair, her shirt and shoulders wet. She had hair dye stains on her hands and kept asking over and over again if we were “in the cloud.” She did not get hired.

    4. Hermione*

      As someone who found her first grey hair this week, I have to say I’m sympathetic, yet also bewildered.

      1. Gandalf the Nude*

        I’m sure I will get some eye rolls for this, but I was honestly delighted when I found my first gray hair. I actually thought it was tinsel at first, but then I was like, “Why would there be tinsel in my hair in February?” I’m hoping it will age me up a bit, so colleagues will stop treating me so young.

        1. Jennie*

          I work in children’s programming and often come home to find feathers, glitter, and other stray things in my hair – so I also thought my first grey hairs were craft supplies! And I loved how they looked so sparkly that I have just been letting them grow in and join the party

        3. Mallory Janis Ian*

          I found my first gray hair on my fortieth birthday. I was washing my hands in the restroom at work, and when I glanced up at the mirror, I saw something very shiny and silvery sticking right straight up at the front and center of the hairline. That was when I knew I was old.

          1. Afiendishthingy*

            Huh. I’m 32 and have very noticeable white streaks, or at least I did before I started dyeing my hair cherry red.

            1. KAG*

              I find that frustrating. I worked HARD for my gray hairs (started appearing after trauma at 27), but I also like to dye my hair and, well, don’t have the patience (or the $$) to do the one-strand-at-a-time.

      3. Kate*

        Haha! I found my first gray hair in the eighth grade. Now that I’m in my mid-30’s, I’m getting a pretty well defined gray streak. One of my hair stylists told me it was cool like Rogue’s, so yeah, totally not stressing about that anymore :)

        1. Elizabeth*

          I suppose that is better than what I call mine: the skunk stripe. (I’m seriously debating highlights to hide this stuff…)

          1. Landshark*

            My dad called his gray streaks that pretty much up until he had more gray than black, so you’re not alone.

            My mom was a teacher and just named gray hairs after problem students (as a joke at home, not as an insult to the students). Streaks were named after big problems or full classes… and one was named after me, even though I wasn’t TOO bad… just because I was a stubborn butt sometimes.

        2. entrylevelsomething*

          Those gray streaks are so cool, especially paired with dark hair. My hair is dishwater blonde so eventually I guess it’s just going to get gradually paler. Boring.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            You can do highlights to jazz it up a bit. I got so tired of touching up grey on dark auburn every two weeks (my natural color is a light reddish-brown) that I went blonde. And I am LOVING IT. Although they have to be done in my salon, I can put off touch-ups now to four or five weeks, and it’s just so different. When I curl my hair now, I feel like a celebrity. :)

          2. 42*

            I have one of those too, right above my forehead and I call it my Religious Experience. Kinda like C. Heston after he came down from Mt Sinai in The Ten Commandments..

          3. Phyllis B*

            Yeah, I am a natural blonde who turned into dishwater blonde which turned into….blech. So I became a red-hair. I can’t wait until it’s completely silver/white. But knowing my family history, I don’t know. When my grand-mother died at 85 her hair was black with just a dusting of grey. ( I do have a white streak, but it seems like I can’t seem to style my hair where it shows. So I just cover it with color.)

    5. Bee Eye LL*

      I had an interviewee once use the bathroom before the interview. Not a big deal except he barely dried his hands so when he came in to interview, I got a big wet sloppy handshake from him. Not very appealing at all.

    8. Anon Moose*

      Sigh. I’m hoping it was not because the candidate was homeless or did not have access to a shower.

      1. Chinook*

        My first thought was possibly a poorly timed bird dropping. But, “in the cloud” would have been a deal breaker.

        1. Karo*

          But the shampoo! Like, did she get hit then run to the drug store to get shampoo and come in? If yes, couldn’t she have bought bottled water at the drug store and washed it in the parking lot?

          1. Mel*

            Or you know, in the drug store bathroom…or pretty much anywhere BUT the potential employers bathroom. LOL

      2. SystemsLady*

        The hair dye bit is what gets me/makes me think that thankfully wasn’t it.

        Maybe accidental hair bleaching or stressing about a grey?? Even then they make cover sticks (at least if the former was isolated)…

        1. burnout*

          She wasn’t homeless. She came very HIGHLY recommended from a known source, and I had done a phone interview that she totally aced. I was super excited to have her come meet in person. Then….. this. It was really weird. My interview partner and I kept giving each other the “side eye”. And she didn’t try to explain the wet hair either. I would have thought maybe a “I got something in my hair on the way in,” or… “I just came from the gym”…. I don’t know. It was really bizarre.

          I remember telling my staff who came into the office, “I don’t think I want to know that the person I may interview was washing her hair in the sink…… that gives me information I should judge her on.” And their reply was, “But… you’re going to wonder why she’s WET.” LOL

          2. AnotherAlison*

            See. . .there was a story behind my drug comment above. ~15 years ago, my SO hired a woman for a admin job who had a fantastic resume and interviewed well. He had to fire her the first week for bizarre behavior. I don’t remember any of the specifics, but it became obvious that she was on meth. She had previously held mid-level positions at Sprint and couldn’t get by in an admin job at a <10 person maintenance company. People change. . .

          3. stevenz*

            I could be wrong but I don’t think that “people who wash their hair in the restroom sink before an interview” are a protected class under EEOC regulations. So you would be OK using that information in your hiring decision. (It’s the cloud thing that’s got me… Maybe she got shampoo in her eyes and … Oh, never mind.)

      3. Polka Dot Bird*

        But even if she were homeless, and the only possible place she could wash her hair was in that specific bathroom, she still way too late for an interview. Over 15 minutes!

  13. MindoverMoneyChick*

    We had a guy who had interviewed pretty well and at the end of the interviewed we showed him around the office and introduced him to some of the employees. He met one woman he found attractive and started making sexually suggestive statements to her in front of the interviewer and the 3 other people she shared an office with.

    Yeah, he did not get invited back.

    1. Hermione*

      Well, I suppose it’s a good thing he showed his colors BEFORE you hired him, but honestly, yuck.

    2. AndersonDarling*

      Ick, Ick, Ick!!! You have to wonder about people like that. Does he know he didn’t get the job because of the sexual comments? Or is he thinking he was just overqualified, too cool for that job? Wowsers.

    3. Gandalf the Nude*

      I hope someone called him out on it. Letting folks get away with that sort of behavior reinforces it.

    4. MindoverMoneyChick*

      Actually, yes he did get called out. He was interviewed first one on one with vice-president A outside of the office. She liked him and passed him on to vice-president B and a couple of us managers for a full interview in the office.

      We were actually planning to hire him up until the point he pulled that crap. Vice-president A did call him and tell him he did not get the job and explained why. Apparently he took it fairly well and said he understood, which was surprising. And yes we dodged a bullet.

      1. Blue Anne*

        I’m really glad it was explained to him, and I hope he spent a long time kicking himself.

    5. MindoverMoneyChick*

      As a side note, it probably shouldn’t matter, but probably it did – both vice-presidents were women and partners in the company. They did not put up with sexiest crap in the office or make any of us put up with it.

  14. Bend & Snap*

    The candidate who kept telling our receptionist she was returning my call to get around our screening, when I hadn’t called her.

    And the candidate who, when asked to tell us why we should hire her for media relations, told me and my manager she’d “pitch her ass off” for us and also asked if she could take half days during the summer, revolving around the Red Sox home schedule, because she worked at a t-shirt shop near Fenway park and was needed for games.

    1. Amber T*

      As a former receptionist I HATED when people did that. I don’t think I ever got that with potential job people, but we got it with sales people all the time. Once I got confirmation that it was indeed a salesperson and not someone anyone wanted to talk to, I liked to play dumb and toy with them. “Oh you’re looking for HR? Hmmm… I don’t think I know who our HR person is…” “Oh you’re selling printers? How do you spell that, p… r… i…” If I could make the salesperson hang up on me it was a job well done.

      (I only did this with super snobby salespeople, not decent ones who were just trying to do their job without being asshats)

      2. Noah*

        The worst are the ones you send to voicemail and then they press zero to I guess see if someone else will answer.

  15. Big10Professor*

    More weird than bad, but I once got a candidate resume that said his interests were “church, dancing, and honey mustard.”

    2. SJ*

      we had a candidate resume with an interests section, and his first listed interest was “people.” Maybe it was due to a lack of sleep or something, but our head of HR and I had been going through the resumes and we just about died laughing.

        1. HYDR*

          We were interviewing dean candidates for a graduate school, and one guy listed his interests as ‘driving through backroads’ in some obscure country. During his interview, he asked if we had many foreign alums (we have a few, but not enough to warrant a trip on our dime for him to go overseas!). We saw through his technique.

        2. Anonymouse*

          Barbershop quartets are actually huge. There’s actually a Barbershop Harmony Society that has an international championship and they hold an international convention that has several thousand attendees.

          1. Taft's Bathtub*

            Don’t forget the ladies! There’s at least two international barbershop organizations for women as well. It probably does sound funny to people who didn’t realize that barbershop choruses and quartets are officially A Thing.

      2. anonforthis*

        Listed in the “interests” section of a managerial candidate’s resume: “shitting.” Candidate called us shortly after applying, apologizing up one side and down the other because he’d just realized that his teenage son had made an unauthorized edit to his resume.

          1. Mookie*

            Seriously, I pity anyone who doesn’t or can’t enjoy it thoroughly. One of life’s pleasures.

        3. Josh S*

          This guy would have absolutely had my utter sympathy and I would have absolutely forgiven him…asked him to submit a corrected resume for the files, but absolutely forgiven him.

          I lol’d

      3. Tinkerer*

        My best one was “hammocks”! No context, no explanation of any kind – just hammocks!

    3. all aboard the anon train*

      One of my friends listed “drinking” as an interest on his resume, and when he kept complaining about not getting an callbacks for jobs and asked me and another friend to look at his resume, we told him that no one was going to take him seriously if he put alcohol as an interest on a resume.

      1. GertietheDino*

        I had a job where I helped my boss screen resumes for a sales position. If their social media listed their interests/pictures as partying, drinking, drugs whatever, they were tossed in the NO pile. Make your profile private people!

        1. Blue Anne*

          When I was an admin at a tech company, one of my jobs was gatekeeping against the many unsolicited calls from recruiters. If I thought someone was a recruiter but I wasn’t sure, I would google them.

          It’s amazing how many times I’ve gotten to say “Hey, nice shirtless pic” on the work phone. 100% young men who were less than a year out of college.

      2. INTP*

        Actually, we had a client who I probably would have considered that a plus for, though I would have deleted it from the resume before showing them. There was a beer excursion during the interview process, beer in the office, Mandatory Fun trips to Vegas, etc. They definitely would have preferred an over-drinking employee over a non-drinking one.

        1. all aboard the anon train*

          I admit, I always wonder how this plays out in startups or offices where there’s such a focus on drinking at or after work, especially for people who don’t drink for personal or religious reasons.

          1. alter_ego*

            It’s not quite a startup, but there’s a pretty heavy drinking culture in my office of about 45 people. I don’t drink, at all, for any reason. Mostly I just go along, and drink orange juice or whatever. There’s definitely stuff I don’t get invited to, but for the most part, I don’t think it’s affected my career, at least not any more than my being the only woman has.

          2. INTP*

            In this case, the company was very conformist and chose employees like they were choosing pledges for a fraternity. I really don’t think a non-drinker would do well there unless they were VERY bro-ish in every other way.

            I’m sure there are other companies, though, where most people drink heavily with coworkers, but they’re relaxed about people who choose not to drink. Of course, some of us find it pretty annoying to be around drunk people when not drinking, so it could make it difficult to attend all the social events even if you’re not penalized for not drinking at them.

      3. Windchime*

        We had a candidate who was so nervous that he was sweating and trembling. His cell phone kept ringing and he couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. And then he mentioned that his hobbies were drinking wine and collecting guns. I voted “No” on hiring him because he was also super creepy. I was outvoted, he was hired. He lasted 6 months, I think.

      4. bridget*

        I’ve seen a fair bit of “craft beer,” “wine collecting,” and “[specific county in Kentucky] bourbon.” Those don’t give me much pause. This sounds a lot closer to just straight up “getting hammered.”

        Also to the mustard comment above, I have also seen “guacamole” listed as an interest. Law students are scrambling to make themselves seem quirky and interesting, especially the marathon/rock climbing/international travel interests section became too much of a cliche.

        1. Marillenbaum*

          Yeah, listing craft beer or wine collecting seems more…legitimate, somehow. Like you have a hobby, instead of an addiction.

          1. Library Director*

            Yes. I’m working on getting my certification as an Italian wine judge. Still thinking I wouldn’t put it on my resume as an interest. Maybe translate it to Italian Culture and History?

            1. Sincaru*

              Italian wine judge? Just curious, do you mind sharing which association are you part of (AIS, FIS, FISAR, ONAV, ASPI)?

                1. Sincaru*

                  Oh, cool! I see it is in collaboration with WSA (which is founded by the same people who founded AIS, which is the most recognized in Italy and by which I am certified). My diploma took a year (46 classes x 2,5 hours) and a two-day exam. Your course sounds fun, I am always glad when people take time to learn about my country’s wine, the best in the world IMO! Best of luck.

                2. Sincaru*

                  Sorry, just saw that certification is WSA but it was designed in conjunction with AIS – so yes, my colleagues!

        2. DMented Kitty*

          “I’m not just chugging beer! I’m sampling a flight of gluten-free German lagers with a French wine pairing — it’s called a smorgasvein and it’s elegantly cultural!”

      5. anon in the uk*

        As a teen I made a resume for the family cat, whose interests included sleeping, climbing trees and shouting at other cats. As far as I know neither of ny parents sent it off as theirs.

        2. DMented Kitty*

          I am seriously tempted to submit a resume for my cat. She either has a career at Kinko’s because she likes to hit the “Start/Copy” button on our printer, or a job at the drug testing facility since she likes to watch people pee then disappears right after you’re done.

    4. SophieChotek*

      Having gone to a conservative Christian undergrad that explicitly forbade dancing, drinking, sex, or card-playing (we had to sign papers saying we would not do any of these things)…apparently the church was not as conservative as the one that my undergrad college was affiliated with…

      1. Chinook*

        Considering that I can’t plan our semi-annual Church Lady gatherings without the guarantee of two types of wine and that I once knew a priest who pulled out his credit card at an (over 18) youth group gathering and said “the next round’s on God,” I feel confident in saying that different churches have very different views on the use of alcohol.

          1. Chinook*

            It was a Catholic college with a men’s residence and it was a gold card because the priests all took vows of poverty, so their university salaries went to the order to cover their expenses. The priest who ordered this was the College President! He also opened up the spare rooms to any females who joined them in the college sports teams’ annual “Drink a Small Town Dry” event.

            It always shocked me how so many alumni convinced their wives that sending their sons to this college would mean they were going to live a quiet, studious campus life because they were being supervised by priests.

            1. OpheliaInWaders*

              LOL, having attended a Jesuit university, I would like to confirm that the parents’ expectations were misplaced.

              1. Mander*

                Hah. As an innocent little (Protestant, of the variety that accepts beer with football but looks askance at anything else) 18 year old I once did an overnight campus visit at a Jesuit university. The girls I stayed with were supposed to show me around campus, talk to me about student life, and make sure I got to the events the next day.

                Instead they took me to the pool hall that was pretty lax about under age drinking, got me rather drunk, and sent me off to the events with an aspirin and a coffee.

        2. Blue Anne*

          I will join any church where “The next round’s on God” is an accepted practice.

          That said, my Grandma’s church just had to fire their pastor for buying a segway out of church funds, so maybe not…

          1. junipergreen*

            Gives new meaning to the phrase “holy rollers.”
            … I’ll see myself out now.

        4. Blackout*

          At my church’s group for young adults we take turns bringing in refreshments. Alcoholic beverages are frequently a part of the refreshment selection. My favorite was the week that someone brought in Sweet Baby Jesus beer for everyone.

        5. zora.dee*

          Agree. I worked for a Catholic priest who super loved his bourbon. I didn’t even drink at the time, so I never got to take advantage of the rounds he bought for staff, darnit!

        6. AliceBD*

          I feel bad because my church’s 20s and 30s group isn’t going to one cool location because they only have alcohol (no food) and I can’t drink (medical reasons). We discussed this location while at a local craft brewery eating amazing pub food and the rest of the group having 2 or 3 drinks each. I do assume there will be alcohol at basically every evening church event for adults. (I’m Episcopalian.)

        7. Library Director*

          Oh, yes. I grew up in a faith tradition where girls didn’t wear pants, no dancing, and you never drank in public. When I joined the Army and became a chaplain’s assistant I was stationed in Germany. I almost passed out when the priest asked if I liked wine (ummmm, uh, why). Because Germany has great wine. It was one of my first conversion steps :-D .

            1. Library Director*

              Considering the number of unwed teens in this hyper conservative church it might be the same. Genes but no jeans. ;-)

        9. BananaPants*

          Our Lutheran church holds a wine tasting dinner twice a year. Lutherans are often of German or Scandinavian background and are beer fans, too.

          I’m a craft beer enthusiast, but I wouldn’t put it on a resume.

      2. The Expendable Redshirt*

        I know of a church where the pastor invites people to visit the nearby Irish Pub after service. Half price appetisers!

    6. INTP*

      Actually, I kind of respect that more than people who list a million good-on-paper interests that you know they don’t have time to do ALL of on a regular basis. “My interests are Ironman Triathlons, reading to the blind, coding all my own iPhone apps, and weekend trips to Buenos Aires.”

      1. Windchime*

        Oh, no kidding. That reads like a match.com ad. As if people could do all these things and still have time for work, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.

        1. INTP*

          It reminds me of a story a supervising professor told me in grad school. When she started her Ph.D. program, in a class they had to go around sharing their names and some of their interests. All the classmates were listing classic or esoteric authors they enjoyed reading and other academia-friendly interests. When it got to her, she said “I really like TV. My favorite is Law and Order SVU.” It turned out that the professor was a big SVU fan as well and they got into a great conversation about it. It’s a nice reminder that most of us are doing pretty normal, unprestigious things during our downtime no matter our day jobs, and being honest about it can provide an opportunity for connection that’s more valuable than impressing someone with your perfectly curated list of hobbies.

          1. Marillenbaum*

            Exactly! I consider my TV-watching a legitimate hobby, and I will gladly talk to you at length and in depth about what I’m watching on Netflix.

              1. Marillenbaum*

                I’m currently OBSESSED with “Stranger Things”, and I’m rewatching Gilmore Girls in preparation for the new episodes in November.

          2. Rebecca in Dallas*

            Haha something similar happened to my sister. She started her PhD program in poetry and the professor had them go around and talk about what they had read over the summer. She answered “The Twilight Series.”

        2. Just Another Techie*

          Enh. If you’re a two-income, no-kids family and can afford a housekeeper and laundry service, it’s not that hard to have ridiculous hobbies. I’m a semi-serious aerial acrobat in my spare time and spend around 10-15 hours a week training, not to mention time spent going to circus shows to see what other artists are doing, volunteer work through my church, a weekly book group, and a weekly knitting group. I do eat a lot of frozen dinners though :)

            1. Elle*

              I would hire someone to do the grocery shopping…I recently discovered that the local Giant Eagle has online ordering, and for $5, I order my stuff online, and then to go pick it up. I really love it!

              1. Elizabeth West*

                Exjob used to do that at Sam’s Club for our break room supplies–Click and Pick. I would order it and then go get it the next day. Eventually, I learned where everything was and could gather it myself and check out faster than standing in the Click and Pick line.

                I would love to have my home stuff delivered from a store, like back in the day. :)

                1. Yet Another JD*

                  Is Amazon Prime Now available near you, Elizabeth? It’s pretty darned good with getting groceries to one’s door.

              2. Amber T*

                I’ve become obsessed with FreshDirect and Peapod (Stop&Shop) where you order it online and they DELIVER IT TO YOU. Seriously they just bring up all the bags and put it right in your kitchen. FD is only located in Southern NY (I think), but I know Stop&Shop is around further. If you have any big major grocery chains they might offer the same thing.

                1. Security SemiPro*

                  When I was super sick and my husband was working full time and in school, Peapod delivery is how we ate. Its miraculous.

                  We now pick up our weekly grocery order, but it saves so much time over actually shopping. And makes sure you stick to your list rather than browsing random stuff. We end up grabbing produce on a mid week run, but general shopping is dropped in the car trunk Friday afternoon.

                2. Artemesia*

                  We are old and live in a building with a lot of people who are older and Peapod is what keeps many of the elderly around us more or less independent. We walk to the grocery store half a mile away and lug stuff home but we are heartened by the fact that Peapod will be there for us when we need it. And Amazon prime — we will never need to leave the building.

              3. Mander*

                Wow, what? You have to go pick it up?

                I have clearly lived on the UK too long. Almost every grocery chain here does delivery. I didn’t realize this hadn’t come to America yet.

            2. A Non*

              Aerial acrobat here. It is pretty damn cool. It’s also not any more esoteric than finding the nearest place that offers lessons and signing up. Circus is undergoing a huge revival right now, and is no longer something you have to be born into. The school I attend teaches hundreds of adult beginners across all the circus disciplines, aerials included. (You do still kind of have to get into it as a kid, or into a similar discipline like dance or gymnastics, if you want to do it professionally. But that’s different.)

      2. Artemesia*

        Like politicians who once spent a weekend, or even a summer, on their grandfather’s estate and like to talk about their farm work background; or who interned at a company doing office work before their Harvard MBA and talk about how they worked their way up from the Secretarial Pool to CEO; or who spent one Friday night at a soup kitchen for their fraternity and stress the volunteer work they have done — each of these with pictures.

      1. ggg*

        Entire resume (for an intern position, but still):

        Name
        Ivy League School
        Major
        Interests: Football, video games and working out

        You need more interesting interests, kid.

  16. Seal*

    I’ve had 2 candidates sit and spin on their swivel chairs during their one-on-one interviews with me (well, not so much spin all the way around as swivel from side to side while looking at the ceiling). Made it very hard to establish eye contact.

    We had a candidate for a department head job come in dressed like she was going clubbing – low cut dress, spiked heels, over the top makeup and jewelry. That look does not scream librarian applying for a middle management position at an academic library.

    Had another candidate come in wearing an otherwise appropriate outfit with Birkenstock sandals. In December. With no socks. It’s fine not to wear heels, but ballet flats would have been FAR more appropriate. I spent so much time wondering if her feet were cold that I missed most of her presentation.

    1. animaniactoo*

      That last candidate might have been my godmother. Who tends to run hot all the time. No, her feet are not cold and she doesn’t mind if you ask – once.

      1. KR*

        I’m a short person and sometimes I can’t reach in swivel chairs so I end up spinning whether I like it or not! Get some not-swivel chairs – they take the travel out of the interview.

    3. JB (not in Houston)*

      Because I have Raynaud’s, and therefore my feet would have been in agony in her situation, I also would not have been able to pay attention. Objectively, I know that if she is choosing to wear those kinds of shoes in winter, she’s probably not cold. But I still would have been distracted.

    4. mskyle*

      Speaking of chairs, when I used to hire student workers at a university library I had a young man scoot up to the main desk on one of the rolling computer chairs to ask for an application (and this was not a short distance… he covered many yards and had to go around other tables/chairs/people). Great first impression with the hiring manager, doofus! I don’t remember whether he ever actually submitted the application, but I know I made a note of his name so I could put in on the bottom of the pile in case he did.

      1. Seal*

        Normally I’d agree with you, except it was December and the temperature was in the teens. If you must wear sandals when it’s that cold, socks would be expected.

        1. Perse's Mom*

          Eh, not really. Born and raised in Wisconsin; I could wear sandals year-round. Unless it’s a polar vortex situation, the temps don’t bother my feet. I only regret sandals if the weather turns foul, because wet sandals can get slippery.

          That said, the typical Birkenstock sandal is at flip-flop levels of non-formal footwear.

      2. Rana*

        I consider Birkenstocks to be the exception to that rule. They even make socks that are specifically meant to be worn with them.

    6. Library Director*

      Did you interview my husband? He wears Birkies year round. No socks. He did break down and wear socks with his Birkies (in suit and tie) when he defended his thesis. This May he attempted to wear real shoes in his suit while manning first aid stations in Rome. The team told him to stop and wear his Birkies (with socks). Granted these are people who know him and it’s expected.

  17. Anonymouse*

    While working in HR, I had a gentleman come to my desk and request an application.

    After I explained that we did not have applications and he could apply from our website, but before I could offer him the use of one of our computers, he stormed out the door.

    About five minutes later, one of the security guards came and asked if we had just had a visitor. It turned out that after leaving our office, this person had been so mad about not being able to get a paper application that he peed all over our elevator. The elevator only went to one floor, which means somehow he managed to pee, finish, and zip back up before the elevator reached the bottom floor.

    They had to shut the elevator down for two days to decontaminate it because the pee had gotten behind the buttons.

    To cap it all off, in the middle of the security guard telling us this, the candidate went to the front desk of the building to complain about me, resulting in the front desk calling to lecture me about being polite.

          1. Anonymouse*

            This is very paraphrased because the conversation has been a few years:
            PBX: “I have a gentleman here who says he tried to apply for a job and you were very rude to him.”
            Me: “He peed in the elevator!”
            PBX: “Well, he says you were rude to him!”
            Me: “But he peed in the elevator! Please hold him there!”
            PBX: “That’s not my problem. I’ve given him (boss’) number. Thank you.”

    3. RVA Cat*

      Please, please tell me the Whizzer was arrested and charged with something – public urination, vandalism….

      3. Anonymouse*

        No. They actually took his complaint seriously and felt I was partially at fault because I was “rude”. I should point out that I’m pretty sure I wasn’t rude.

        Yes, it makes as much sense as it sounds.

        1. Rusty Shackelford*

          I wonder how rude you have to be for people to decide peeing all over the elevator is an appropriate response.

    5. LBK*

      WTF is wrong with people? Seriously, I cannot imagine what goes on in someone’s head that leads them to this kind of action.

    7. Annoying Girl*

      Of course his behavior was outrageous but be careful. I seem to recall that some states require that you have paper applications available.

    8. pope suburban*

      We had a client poo on our bathroom floor once, because she was angry that we wouldn’t stay open way past close of business and carry her presumably-expensive wine to her car for her– which I told her we are expressly forbidden to do, because of the liability, when she called the front desk from inside the building like it was a horror movie (and, you know, it kind of was). Thankfully, she left on her own initiative while my coworker and I were locked in the boss’s office, making the most awkward phone call ever to see what he wanted to do (He was on the road at the time). Which should have been the end of it, but no, she tried to sneak back into the building through the locked side door, forcing us to wait her out and call for reinforcements. She sounded and appeared to be lucid and not high or ill, I guess she was just vindictive? I wonder if she and the Whizzer are friends.

      1. Anonymouse*

        I guess I’m lucky I only pee-angered him. I think if I poop-angered him, I might have left that job a lot sooner.

        1. pope suburban*

          Hey, I’m just relieved for both of us that they did it well away from our desks. I’d like to think that someone eliminating in front of you would be cause to quit and still get unemployment.

      2. Mallory Janis Ian*

        What I wonder is if these pee-angry and poop-angry people are able to pee or poop on command whenever they are angered, or if they just got lucky and happened to have a supply at the particular time when the anger occurred. Like, can one be perpetually prepared in case of being angry enough to pee or poop?

        1. pope suburban*

          I have to figure it’s a spur of the moment thing, and so only happens when they have the, uh, ammunition handy. I can’t imagine holding it for who knows how long in case someone angers you. Although I can’t imagine using anything other than a toilet (or bedpan, in the worst-case scenario) for elimination, so clearly I am not the best person to try to find insight into these people. :’D

          1. Mr. Mike*

            This is likely a behavior that happens more often, so, in response to Mallory, this person probably ‘held’ onto the ammunition in order to ‘deal’ with the rejection.

    9. MashaKasha*

      He PEED ON THE BUTTONS. While going down one floor!

      I’m impressed. This skill has to be in demand somewhere. Nowhere that I’ve worked, mind you, but somewhere.

      1. OhNo*

        I think the real question is which came first: him peeing on the buttons, or him pressing the button for his floor?

        You’d think there would be a logical progression here, but given that he peed in the elevator I doubt logic has much stake in this guy’s thought process.

        1. Anonymouse*

          I feel like he had to have peed and then touched the buttons because he was buttoned and zipped when he got off on the security footage.

            1. Alice Ulf*

              I just bark-laughed loud enough to echo. Thank goodness I’m the only one in this office during lunch. XD

  18. Name(Required)*

    I work for a rather well known magazine company and while hiring for a creative position one applicant asked to take a selfie with me for her instagram(I declined). After she left found her instagram, it was full of obnoxious selfies, a lot of alcohol, trespassing and harassing wildlife- the most resent was a picture of her getting ready for her interview in her mesh bra with our magazine name hashtagged below.

    2. ElectricTeapots*

      #diditforthegram
      “It” being applied for a job and completely ignored all codes of business conduct. Hope the ‘gram was worth it!

  19. Master Bean Counter*

    Were we taking applications for an IT person. A person who would do everything from desk top installs to security protocols to server maintenance. We got lots of applications for the position. One gentleman called and asked to speak to the hiring person. I took the call. He told me that he was older than our average candidate had back problems and couldn’t bend to get under desks. He also couldn’t lift more than 20 pounds. He then went on to say that if we should hire him because he was the most qualified person and if we didn’t he would file a complaint for age discrimination.
    The real kicker, he didn’t have any experience other than building computers from spare parts in his home. we never invited him for the interview.
    One guy we did interview showed up in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a flannel hoodie.

    1. Development Professional*

      I’m curious – did your job posting list the requirement to lift 20 lbs and climb under desks?

      1. Bee Eye LL*

        Most IT jobs relating to desktop support do have weight lifting limits and such because we do have to lug around PC’s and especially printers, which can be crazy heavy. A lot of people don’t realize the physical requirements of the job, which can involve climbing ladders, getting up in attics to run network cables, and so on.

        1. KR*

          +1 My grandboss expects me and my boss to wear business casual – I work slacks and heels Monday and ended up on a gravel construction site and cut my feet up and got my slacks all dusty. Black/Grey jeans and sneakers for the rest of the week for meeeeeee.

          1. Bee Eye LL*

            Been there done that. At my current work we wear jeans because we so often have to crawl around over, under, and through stuff. We only dress up when doing presentations, going to class, etc.

          2. Elizabeth West*

            I had to wear business casual at Exjob–and I often had to go out into the shop to fetch samples, boxes, literature, etc. I got dirty a LOT. It used to bug the crap out of me. We all would beg to wear jeans and polos, but they wouldn’t let us.

            1. Rana*

              Sounds like the retail job I had one summer as a teen. I was hired as a stockroom clerk – so lots of lifting, opening boxes, wrangling hangers, etc. – and most of the people who did that job tended to wear t-shirts and jeans, because no one ever saw them. But because I was young and female, they wanted me available to sub in with the dressing room staff, and thus be floor-presentable, which meant I was often doing that work in skirts, heels, and nylons. I ripped so many nylons that summer, it was unreal.

        2. Development Professional*

          I totally get that. I was wondering if it had been spelled out in the job posting, which I believe is required under ADA.

  20. animaniactoo*

    There was the guy who showed up to do a practice job wearing basketball shorts and an athletic top. Because he was on his way to the gym afterwards..

    We’re casual, but we’re not *that* casual… Nothing he would have seen during the first round of interviews would have given him the impression we are. It put my boss off enough that she went back to the pool to find someone else.

    1. ElectricTeapots*

      I once had a guy show up to an interview in gym clothes *post* workout. It was really easy to tell he had worked up a sweat, especially in the teeny tiny interview room…

      (This was an on-campus interview, but I’d been doing them all day and all the other students had figured out business casual just fine, so he had no excuse.)

      1. entrylevelsomething*

        When I applied for a student job as a freshman, I got a call on my phone as I was walking onto our (very small) campus. My (future) boss asked if I had time to meet up sometime that afternoon- he apologized for it being last minute, but wanted to meet me soon if I was available as he had a busy week. I had some time to come in, but cautiously noted I wasn’t dressed for an interview (ratty jeans and sweater) and wouldn’t have time to go and change. Three years later, one of the full-time workers in that school department told me that impressed my boss a lot, that I even had the self-awareness about office culture to mention that. I got the job based on a lot of things, but apparently it helped a bit. Seemed obvious to me, but I guess they’d had a few candidates who couldn’t suss it out.

  21. Rocket Scientist*

    My friend/coworker was responsible for the lunch interview and suggested to the candidate that they go to a restaurant which had excellent local cuisine. The candidate asked if they could go to a strip club instead.

    The manager of that division was female and immediately disqualified him, based solely on that.

    1. ZSD*

      Well, hey, as long as you’ve got somebody paying your way, you might as well get some perks.

      1. LD*

        Yes. My husband once left a job where some of the clients always expected to go to strip clubs on his company’s dime. When the company wouldn’t back him up, he found another job.

      2. Rocket Scientist*

        ITA.

        However that company was very “old boys’ club” and it probably wouldn’t have gone done that way.

  22. Wendy Darling*

    I was interviewing a candidate for a research job that involved wrangling research participants. I asked him to tell me about a time he’d encountered a difficult customer and how he dealt with it.

    He told me about the time he punched a guy out to stop a bar fight.

    The worst part is we hired him against my objections and later had to fire him for being belligerent and unprofessional.

      1. Wendy Darling*

        I know!! I warned them!

        We were up against a time limit and he had some skills we really needed that none of the other applicants were strong with, but it turns out that’s not really relevant if the guy is bullying his teammates and being rude to research participants. He was on thin ice for a while and was then fired for basically asking his supervisor if they could take their argument outside.

        1. afiendishthingy*

          Wow. I would have lorded that over my coworkers at every opportunity, forever. “Oh yeah? You think we should get coconut cake for Sue’s birthday? You also thought we should hire Bar Fight Guy. Unless you want a repeat of that, take my advice and get funfetti.”

          2. Wendy Darling*

            Unfortunately I was the biggest cheerleader for our other terrible hire in that time period, the guy who responded to our asking him to sign an NDA by emailing us a multi-page philosophical treatise about secrecy and human rights and then quitting (less than 4 hours into the job), causing scheduling chaos. So if I said “Well you thought we should hire Bar Fight Guy” they could very reasonably counter with “YOU said we should hire Too Good For NDAs Guy”. :)

  23. JustaTech*

    At a previous job I interviewed undergraduates for a part-time (no class credit) job in my lab. I had one candidate show up looking like all his clothes had come off the bottom of the laundry pile, but he was wearing a button-down so I let that slide. Then the lab manager asked “What is your greatest weakness?” and his answer was “I’m unmotivated.”
    He followed that up with “I know I’m not going to get this job because la jobs always go to Asian kids.” He was sitting with his back towards our lab, which was 50% Chinese.

    And to think we picked him to interview over the kid whose resume printed yellow-on-white!

    1. Mallory Janis Ian*

      He was awful, but still, no one should ever get a job with a yellow-on-white resume; it just encourages them.

      1. JustaTech*

        I begged my lab manager to be allowed to e-mail that kid and tell them to change their font, but she said it wasn’t our place to fix that kind of thing. :(

        We did get one resume that was amazing: the candidate made working at a Subway sound like an interesting, challenging job with lots of opportunities to learn and grow. I told the lab manager I didn’t care that the undergrad hadn’t taken a few classes we usually wanted, I wanted to meet this person. Sadly we were an off-campus lab and they got a better job elsewhere.

        All the undergrads we did hire were great and we kept several after they graduated. The scientists on the other hand, well, some of them were a lesson in why you should call references.

        1. Wendy Darling*

          My team at my last job didn’t used to call references because we mostly hired people for short term (less than 6 months) contracts and usually needed to hire very quickly.

          Then we hired the guy who was amazing on paper and in interviews but it turned out his entire resume was fabricated and he had none of the skills he claimed to have. Now they check references.

        2. Mallory Janis Ian*

          Weird coincidence: I went to our university caterer’s open house this afternoon, and the cater manager was going around getting people’s opinions about their new menu. She was jotting down notes in a notepad, and when she came to interview me, I could see that she was writing with a pale yellow gel pen on white paper. My AAM/real worlds are colliding.

    1. Mallory Janis Ian*

      Someone recommended this here awhile back, and I had many sleepless nights exhausting the archives. The stories are awesome!

    3. Liana*

      This is amazing. I’ve been looking for a new go-to site to add to my rotation (I’ve been feeling a bit lost since The Toast shut down), and I’ll definitely spend some time here.

  25. Ask a Manager* Post author

    By the way, I am thinking of using this slot on Thursday mornings for “ask the readers” posts — either the kind I’ve done here or “here’s a letter with no answer from me; let’s see what readers say about it.” (My schedule is a little crunched right now and I’m looking for ways to create some room in it.) Does that sound boring/annoying/horrible? Fun? Do you not care either way?

    3. SaraV*

      A) Great stories/advice to be given by commenters that usually don’t have a way to share said advice/stories
      B) Frees up time for you…

      I say this is a win-win situation.

    5. AndersonDarling*

      That sounds great! I’ve thought about sending in discussion topics before…because sometimes my questions don’t have a right answer, it’s more about getting experiences and opinions from the group.

    6. TheCupcakeCounter*

      If it is like this one I am all for it! Having the best time reading these stories!!!!

    8. Mallory Janis Ian*

      Some comment sections’ readers — no. This comment section’s readers — YES!

    10. addlady*

      You’re better off with ask the readers because otherwise you might get yourself into a position where you’re monitoring like crazy.

    12. The Optimizer*

      I like it! How about hirings gone wrong for the next one? You know, people who seemed great in an interview, got hired and immediately became an obvious mistake.

      2. TheCupcakeCounter*

        Or the worst way you have ever been told/found out you didn’t get the job. I have a great one from an internal opportunity…

    13. Biggle*

      I would really enjoy this! You have some of the best readers out of all the blogs I follow and I feel like they usually have really interesting/professional/polite different points of view things to say.

    14. LSCO*

      I think it sounds great! There’s such a great comment community on here, I’m sure there are loads of stories & nuggets of advice that everyone would be more than happy to share.

    16. Dawn*

      YESSSS! I love user stories! They’re my favorite part in the weekly open threads when someone asks for stories. LOVE THEM!!!!!

    21. LQ*

      I’m all for it!

      I don’t know if it would be more or less work but the things where you’ve had people who are regular commentators from other industries answer questions too are something I’ve enjoyed in the past. (I can see how that might be more work, but I’m not really sure.)

    23. Augusta Sugarbean*

      I like the “ask the readers” posts for sure. Can one of the topics be something like “What’s your best job experience?/Tell us about a great manager/company.”?

      I’m job hunting and while my current job is really, really awful, it’s at least an “enemy you know” type situation. Sometimes reading the letters here gives me pause and I wonder if I’ll end up somewhere worse. I know that’s just a false impression because no one writes in and says “Hey Alison, my job is great, my co-workers are great, my manager is great!” but it’d be nice to periodically hear positive experiences. (I’m sure they are some interspersed in the comments but it’d be nice to have a repository.)

      1. AndersonDarling*

        The good experience stories are a super boost to my mood. I love them! I love it when we get updates with happy endings, and I love it when the Friday Open Thread commentors have stories about finding jobs after a long stretch of unemployment.

      2. Marina*

        I was fired from a toxic job, unemployed for 5 months, terrible-but-not-as-toxic job for a year, and have just hit my 90 days in a job that pays well, with good benefits, boss and department that genuinely want to see me succeed, and tasks I am enthusiastic about. It’s possible. You can do it.

      3. ArtsNerd*

        I have the BEST boss right now, and a job that I really love. They do exist.

        But I will note that they seem to be “easier” to get when you have the luxury of waiting… potentially a couple of years… to find the right next step vs. just needing to escape a bad environment. I hopped from a terrible situation to a not-great-but-WAY-better one where my work was much more visible to my professional community, so I was able to get some good work done, build up a solid reputation and bide my time to take/make opportunities that worked out really well for me.

        I didn’t always believe it was possible, and I’m still pretty jaded about my field, but I’m so very happy with where my career is now.

    24. Just A Girl*

      I’d be a little sad: reader content is lovely, but very different from the one-letter response that usually goes in this slot. It’s more similar to the Friday open thread (which is also lovely, but a noticeable departure from actual Alison Advice).

      Would doing this on a different day– say, Tuesday– still help with the scheduling issue?

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        My thinking was Thursday because it’s a somewhat lower traffic day, and if new readers are coming to the site, I like them to have the best chances of seeing a post at the top that’s more typical of what’s normally here. (I have no idea if this logic is sound or not.)

    26. Graciosa*

      Either option is fine with me.

      Do not underestimate how much we enjoy and appreciate what you do.

      The corollary is that we are happy to accept adjustments that allow you to keep doing it. ;-)

    29. AnonEMoose*

      But…but…how will I possibly find time to read all the awesome comments? I mean, when I’m at work, I actually have to work!

      (Seriously, I think this is a really interesting idea, and I’d like to see it tried.)

    31. Elizabeth West*

      I love it when you do that. I know there will be lots of interesting comments to read! My favorites are the ones like this, where we get to tell stories. :D

    32. Jack the Treacle Eater*

      Ask the readers. ‘No answer from me’ risks partial viewpoints, pile ons, you having to spend the time monitoring anyway, letter writer dissatisfaction at not getting the AAM viewpoint. Nothing against posters here who are usually calm, objective and there’s enough to get all viewpoints, but sometimes there can be a hive mind sort of thing.

      1. OhNo*

        I agree. As awesome as the comments section is here, I think having letters with just reader responses might lead to some issues. I’m also thinking that someone would write in and be disappointed because they didn’t get a response from Alison, just us random readers.

        Perhaps you could offer people who write in the option, though? If they note that their letter is okay for comment-only response, that might preemptively solve the problem!

        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          I think if it’s between that and no response at all (because most letters don’t actually get answered here, just due to volume), people will be fine with it but who knows…

    33. Lee*

      I think there’s a feminist slant from some of the primary commentators on here that skews an objective opinion on submitted questions.

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        But there is a feminist slant from me too (just as I also have a non-racist slant, I hope). I mean, I hope no one would ever say “that Ask a Manager blog, she really doesn’t believe that women have the same value as men.”

          1. Lee*

            My initial thought was to say you don’t appear to have agenda when replying to letters, and I believe some commenters do have an agenda that bleeds through into their answers.

            2. N.J.*

              That’s what makes this commenting community so valuable thought, the diversity of agendas, or to word it in a more positive way-the diversity of beliefs, opinions and life experiences that inform and shape how the commenters here may interpret a question or issue. It can be uncomfortable to face strong opinions, sure, but an “agenda” that includes equality for women is never a bad thing. I’m assuming you are identifying a certain type of commenter who always identifies the (insert cause) spin or slant on a situation, such as feminism. I would argue though that there is great value in hearing from our commenters with agendas, even strong ones, if for no other reason than that we can debate if that person’s particular viewpoint is applicable to a question or issue. Feminism is not a dirty word, ever. It is uncomfortable for a lot of people to be prompted, willingly or not, to evaluate a situation with so many different lenses (feminist lense, anti-racism lense, generational lense etc.) because it removes the safety of a straightforward answer and destroys the idea that there is one set of rules that we can all apply to life and the working world, but that limits our ability to combat issues and biases and our ability to even see them.

              Bring on the agendas, ESPECIALLY the feminist ones!

              1. Lee*

                I didn’t actually think of things that way, but I do agree with you and would never want to discourage the diversity of thoughts here (and I like the idea of folks debating different view points).

            3. Anon Moose*

              By that you mean… some of the commenters may have a different perspective on workplace issues than you, very possibly due to their experiences and background, which may include factors like age, race and gender? Is that not the point of a comment section, to have differing viewpoints?
              I’d be interested particularly in any specific examples of said feminist bias. What precisely do you feel is objectionable?

              1. Lee*

                One of the issues is the term “mansplaining” used on this site. I feel this term broadly paints females as generally always in the right and any male that disagrees is wrong or talking down. I think this term derails the idea of feminism specifically, as it implies female superiority over males, not equality.
                I understand historically males have been dominant in the workplace and females were talked down to. That landscape is significantly changing (more women are working now than men, graduating college and becoming CEOs).
                Alison’s defense of this term, and the subsequent commentators relaying their experiences that inevitably end with a male talking down to a female started to feel biased. Do we just ignore situations when women talk down to other women? When women belittle men? Are we going to create a cutesy pun about it?
                The word ‘patronizing’ already exists, and while its rooted in the problems of patriarchal leadership, at least it can apply to both men and women. “Mansplaining” is a sexist term that, in my opinion, alienates the male commenters of this site and discourages anyone who disagreed.

                1. The Butcher of Luverne*

                  I think this term derails the idea of feminism specifically, as it implies female superiority over males, not equality.
                  ……

                  On the contrary. It implies that the man in question is condescending and belittling a woman. That is actually (supposed) male superiority over females.

                2. Lee*

                  @The Butcher of Luverne
                  “It implies that the man in question is condescending and belittling a woman. That is actually (supposed) male superiority over females.”
                  A male being condescending and belittling a female, when the female knows more than the male or is in the right, does not imply (supposed) male superiority. It implies arrogance on the males part and is a very negative term. I’m sure instances where men incorrectly and condescendingly belittle women occurs. As does instances where women belittle other women, women who belittle men, or men who belittle other men.
                  However, in my opinion, supporting this gender-specific term paints men in a very broad unflattering light, and will turn off most male readers.
                  There are plenty of other verbs to use in the English language. I don’t understand what you’re arguing exactly.

                3. Serafina*

                  “Mansplaining” is a method of calling out sexist behavior. Referring to sexist behavior by males towards females as “mansplaining” is not sexist anymore than calling out anti-black behavior by whites is racist. This is not part of a “feminist agenda” in a respect that is in any way inappropriate – mansplaining is a sexist behavior that can and should be called out and eliminated. The fact that YOUR agenda is so clearly to halt discussion of it merely marks you as part of the sexist silencing agenda that so many women have to struggle against to be taken seriously and treated with equal respect alongside male colleagues and by male colleagues.

                  As for Alison, I do hope she doesn’t back down from permitting open discussion of sexist behavior in the workplace, including practices like mansplaining, as they are legitimate and recognizable demeaning acts by male colleagues towards female colleagues.

        2. HDB*

          Such a good answer! Your “feminist slant” is a big part of why I respect your advice and enjoy your writing.

      2. Mookie*

        Advice columns don’t exist to be “objective.” Letter-writers are specifically and explicitly requesting informed feedback, and being informed requires experience and judgement.

        1. Mookie*

          Also, “objective opinion” on this topic–human behavior, decorum and custom, law regarding employment and labor–is an oxymoron.

    34. junipergreen*

      Yes! I come here primarily for your advice, but I also love the community you’ve built here and love hearing what other readers have to say.

    36. GiantPanda*

      Sounds like a great idea, but does it have to be Thursday? With the big Open threads on Friday and Saturday I’d prefer a short break somewhere.

    37. Mimmy*

      It’s a lot to read because the number of comments shoots up early, but I know many readers enjoy these type of threads – some of the stories they generate can be downright funny!

      My favorite, though, was the thread where you asked readers to describe their job, then answer questions from others.

    40. Snargulfuss*

      Yes! I LOVE these posts!

      For what they’re worth, here are a few ideas:
      – How about one on how people transition from one career to another, especially without quitting their current job to go back to school. How do you put a new skill into practice when it’s not part of your current job.
      – Best (aka worst) office Halloween costumes and antics
      – Best and worst boss stories
      – Dream jobs (I think there was a long thread on this in one of the Friday posts and it was really fun)
      – What did you think was most important about a job when you first started out vs. what’s most important to you now

      1. Christopher Tracy*

        – How about one on how people transition from one career to another, especially without quitting their current job to go back to school. How do you put a new skill into practice when it’s not part of your current job.

        I like this topic idea. I’d also like to see a redo of the post your job and salary thread where people stated how much they made when they first started in their professional careers and where they ended up. I’m thinking of making another career change soon, so it would be interesting to see what jobs pay what.

      2. Mimmy*

        Similar to the first idea: Readers who are undecided on their career path could post brief details–e.g. interests, skills, past experience–and others can offer suggestions. It’s something I’ve been struggling with, but I think those just starting out in the workforce, such as those about to graduate college, may benefit as well.

    41. vpc*

      Fun!

      Possible topic: malapropisms.

      I was in a training class this week where the presenter was soliciting answers from participants and at one point got herself tangled up and uttered the line, “….self pleasure, yep, that’s the first thing you stop doing.”

      I know we’ve all had that foot-in-mouth moment, either ourselves or cringing on others’ behalf! must be some great stories out there.

  26. Jake*

    I was interviewing a batch of candidates for an administrative assistant position with a duration of roughly 10 months to a year at an hourly rate towards the bottom of market rate with basically no benefits.

    Throughout the process, I was very very open about my max salary and benefits starting with the end of each phone screen. There was 0 chance I could exceed the salary without being fired, as I tried several times on a hire for the same position in the same location 6 months earlier, and was not successful.

    At the end of one of my in person interviews the candidate started asking about benefits, and I restated the salary.

    She broke down rambling and crying, saying things like, “I know you can afford more” and “you don’t know what it’s like working around a bunch of caddy women as a temp.”

    As I tried to defuse the situation by saying, I understand but I have no flexibility, she snapped and went on a rant about greedy businesses only care about profit, and our business can clearly afford more, etc.

    After 5 minutes of this rant I escorted her out. I dodged a bullet because prior to the freak out she would have been under consideration.

        2. The Cosmic Avenger*

          From Jake’s spelling, if it was actually “caddy” and not “catty”, I would have guessed it was shorthand for “people who can afford Cadillacs”.

    2. Dan*

      While I’m not sure I’m on board with her delivery, I’m certainly onboard with the sentiment. Bottom end of market rate plus no benefits screams CHEAP employer. I hate to say it, but I think a lot of people dodged bullets with this one.

      1. Rusty Shackelford*

        But she knew it before she came in for the interview. It’s not like it came as a surprise.

        2. ArtsNerd*

          YES. I’ve had someone give me the hard salary cap on the first phone screen because it was so low for the position and location, and I was able to withdraw from consideration on good terms. End of a boring, drama-free story.

  27. Development Professional*

    I may have told this story here before, but….

    We had an out of town candidate for a high level position who had done reasonably well in a phone interview. We invited him for a second round in person, but explained that we didn’t have the funds to pay his travel expenses (this was a teeny tiny nonprofit, and we were hiring for only the second paid staff position). He agreed on a Thursday to come in on two Mondays later – i.e. 10 days later. We scheduled a panel of 6 board and staff members to interview him.

    The Sunday night before his scheduled interview, he emails my colleague who had set it up, complaining that plan tickets were too expensive, and could he just interview by Skype instead? Why he didn’t already have a plane ticket in hand, since it had been 10 days since it was scheduled, I have no idea. We declined, saying that at this stage and for an executive, we really needed to meet in person. He became irate, saying that we should really be more flexible for him, since he was coming from another industry and basically we should be lucky that he was even considering us. We held firm, and he sent yet another email back, still claiming that we were being unreasonable. That was the end of his candidacy.

    1. Bee Eye LL*

      Airline ticket prices do fluctuate daily and he may have been watching them via a website hoping to see a deal pop up and it just never happened. I know you can write off job search expenses on taxes, so there are ways to offset it. However this is one of the burdens of looking for out of town jobs – there’s an expense involved.

      1. SystemsLady*

        Just about every travel site claims it happens, but from what I’ve seen you would never, ever get such a big discount from buying last minute that it’d actually be worth the risk of more commonly paying hundreds more for a longer itinerary.

        Granted, I fly a lot of domestic giant hub to giant hubs (sometimes with a regional at the front end, but same point applies if you’ll be stuck laying over for a hub to hub no matter what).

        If you’re flying to Japan outside of spring and summer or something, then sure, maybe that happens sometimes.

    2. Dan*

      I had a company tell me to book my interview ticket and they’d pay me back… except the ticket was $1600. I was worried they thought I was trying to rip them off or something, but they reimbursed it without a hassle. I got an offer, too.

      I get you work for a non-profit, but you guys won’t cover travel expenses for *executive* level hires? While I disagree with his delivery, I think his sentiment is more or less accurate. I work for a non-profit, and every out of town interview I’ve ever had, the employer has covered the travel expenses. I’m so used to having my expenses paid that if someone told me I had to pay them myself, I’d pass.

      1. Development Professional*

        I’ve had it go both ways at various nonprofits of various sizes, but in this case, the org’s entire yearly budget was $250K, and the job paid $40K a year with no benefits. This was explicitly stated in the job posting AND we confirmed that he understood it and was ok with both salary and the lack of reimbursement during the phone interview AND when setting up the second interview. He was free to decline politely at any of those junctures. Frankly, our pool of local candidates was at least as good as this one out of towner (if not better), and we had no trouble making the hire locally.

      2. Observer*

        Paying for an out of town hire to travel is not a universal practice. Especially for a really small place that has very few staff, it’s not unreasonable to not pay. As long as an organization is up front about it, I see no problem.

        If that’s something that’s a deal breaker, that’s fine. But you do NOT get to change your mind about this the day before your interview. This is not about delivery, this is about reneging on an agreement.

        1. Dan*

          Actually, you *do* get to change your mind about it the day before you interview. You just shouldn’t assume they’ll continue the process with you.

          1. Observer*

            Well, you get to change your mind. Because it’s a free country. But, it’s not a delivery problem. It’s a either a problem with keeping commitments or with thinking through what you are committing to. And neither is much good for an employer.

  28. Cafe au Lait*

    I worked at a community college library as a circulation manager. One applicant was rather pushy; “checking in” on the status of her application every time she came to study and the like. What really made me headtilt was when I was walking from one building to another, and saw the applicant back-up to the corner of a building and start moving up and down. Like a bear backs up to a tree to satisfy an itch.

    She saw me as she was doing this, and called out “Hey, YOU, Library Lady. Did you get my application? Am I getting an interview?”

    I mentioned her to my coworker later that afternoon. His response was: “There is no fucking way she’s getting an interview.”

    Apparently the applicant had threatened my coworker with a pistol when he worked at a payday advance service, and he came to her house to collect her loan.

      1. Dan*

        Well… it’s generally not within the norm to have a bill collector show up personally. I may very well do the same thing. There’s a process to collect (or not) on delinquent debt, and in person visits aren’t part of the deal. In fact, it’s quite possible that the woman could have sued the company and won.

        The only exception, AFAIK, is a repo man informing you that the property has been seized.

        1. Cafe au Lait*

          I didn’t think that payday lenders showed up in person either. I guess my coworker did quite a few house calls during his time there.

          He also said it was a very crappy, horrible place to work.

          1. Cafe au Lait*

            Oh, it also sounds like there were several tiers of contact.

            Tier 1: You show up in person to pay off, or pay off a portion of your loan.
            Tier 2: If you stop paying your loan, the company moves on to phone calls.
            Tier 3: After several instances of “no contact”, the company moved onto showing up to your house in person.

        1. OhNo*

          In person bill collection or not, I’m definitely more weirded out by the fact that she drew a gun on them. That certainly wouldn’t be my first instinct if a collection agent showed up at my door.

          (Running and hiding might be, though. Clearly my fight-or-flight response leans pretty heavily in one direction.)

    3. LBK*

      Apparently the applicant had threatened my coworker with a pistol when he worked at a payday advance service, and he came to her house to collect her loan.

      Uhhhh what!?!

      1. Isabel*

        I am interested in hearing more about your coworker. Bill collecting thug to librarian? The intrigue!

    5. Mookie*

      Everybody’s focusing on the gun and the loan, but I want to give the Baloo impersonation some love.

      1. Mander*

        I can totally see myself doing that, because itchy back sucks. But I wouldn’t shout out to ask if you got my application.

  29. C N B*

    I worked at a very small non-profit with only about 8-10 employees, several of them part-time. We desperately needed an IT person as the internet exploded upon us about 15 years ago. During a group interview of a young, techie, candidate, the ED asked him “how would your current supervisor describe you – in a couple of words?”

    His answer: ” oh, I guess, ‘loose cannon’ ” – didn’t get the job…

    1. Bee Eye LL*

      Hahah I once had a guy apply where he came from a small office and was the only IT guy. During the interview he actually told us he loves working by himself because he doesn’t get along well with others and then admitted to getting into arguments with “the last IT guy” they had there. He didn’t get hired, either.

    3. SJ*

      I’m sure he didn’t say it like this, but I’m picturing him saying “loose cannon,” winking, and doing finger guns.

        1. LBK*

          This is even funnier now having read Jamie’s story below where a guy actually did do finger guns and wink during an interview.

      3. Jamie*

        doing finger guns

        That’s the phrase I was looking for! Thank you, it was making my brain itchy.

    4. Guam Mom*

      To that very same question, I once had a candidate respond, “She always says I am a bull in a china shop… I don’t know what that means but it has to be good because she is always smiling when she says it!”

      Nope, nope, nope.

  30. Dip-lo-mat*

    Waaaaay back when I was a paralegal, my boss received a resume in triplicate–one copy in English, one in French, and one in Japanese. Also, the person’s name was in shadowed text.

    Into the trash can it went.

    1. FD*

      While being trilingual could be a useful skill on your resume, I feel like this isn’t quite the way to show it.

    2. Miaw*

      I think it depend on the industry, but I would have been impressed if I received a resume in 3 different languages. To give a bit of background, we deal with global clients who do not necessarily speak English, so foreign language skills are asset.

      1. Lemon Zinger*

        Yes! Though it would have made more sense to just hand in the resume in the language used by the organization, and to indicate there that he spoke French and Japanese.

        1. Dip-lo-mat*

          Yes. It would have. Even in my current foreign affairs agency (see me username), this is, by far, the only acceptable method unless otherwise specifically asked.

        2. Gaara*

          My practice involves international litigation, and certain language skills are very valuable. I agree that way would be better, but I certainly wouldn’t have thrown that in the trash.

        3. Marillenbaum*

          Exactly. I can technically write my resume in French, but I’m not going to do that unless I’m applying to a French company for a French-speaking position, or the company explicitly asked me to.

    3. Apparatchic*

      I don’t get this one. Sure, it’s overboard, but just the name in shadowed text and different languages doesn’t seem like instant trash-canning to me?

      2. Dip-lo-mat*

        Well, we were a corporate insurance law firm. No request for language and read as obnoxiously show-off-y. What my boss cared about was your ability to be super organized, meet deadlines, deal with difficult clients/opposing counsel/etc. What the overachievers fresh out of fancy schools wanted to show him was that they were so so so smart.

        On the shadowed text, think the text that looks like it’s casting a shadow on the floor. If someone handed you a resume in comic sans or a font that conveys similar gravitas for a position in a corporate law firm, would you seriously consider it?

      1. Nanani*

        If so, it would be really obvious from the formatting.
        Japanese resume conventions are VERY different from Western ones, so if the Japanese resume is formatted the same way as the other two, that immediately tells you this person is clueless – either about work standards in Japanese culture (if all are formatted Western style) or Western ones (if all are Japanese style).
        Legitimately including all languages for a position that requires them necessarily involves adapting your materials to the applicable cultures.

        1. Julia*

          I was in such a bind when I applied for my current Japanese job and they demanded a resume, in English or Japanese. If I only sent in an English resume, would I have to include information the Japanese want, but that are no-nos in the US? Which format? I think in the end, I did a compromise of both.

          1. Nanani*

            Oh god yes, those mandatory fields of Japanese resumes that are awkward to illegal in other countries gave me serious discomfort!
            I have been getting away without the headshot, but including the rest.

            *For the curious, standard Japanese resumes, for which you can buy an actual paper template, include: A headshot of the applicant in a suit, date of birth, current age at application time, marital status, number of dependents, and place of birth in addition to the things you’d expect elsewhere like work history and relevant experience.

    5. Karo*

      The only time I can see this making sense is if you were in someplace like Montreal, where you have to be proficient in French and English, and are also working for a client that requires you to speak Japanese. And all of this is stated clearly in the ad.

      1. SystemsLady*

        Even then, I’d save that gimmick for the cover letter. It’s actually a good idea there, as it provides an example of your ability to write (and properly localize) correspondence!

        That’s particularly important for French – you wouldn’t want to close a formal French letter with a literal translation for “Sincerely”, nor would you want an English letter to close with the line “Please accept, Mr. Stark, the expression of my highest regards.”

        1. Marillenbaum*

          This is giving me flashbacks to Mme. Cali’s Professional French class: three-and-a-half hours, complete with fifteen-minute smoke break midway.

        2. Mephyle*

          Or Spanish– in Mexico, one of the commonest polite ways to close a formal letter is “Since I have nothing more to say now, I bid you farewell with warmest regards.” I am not making this up.

    6. Nanani*

      I have sent the triplicate resume in those exact languages.
      However:
      1) It was email (or attachment uploaded to a webform asking for them)
      2) I’m a translator :)

  31. all aboard the anon train*

    I had a candidate come in for an editorial assistant position and state that she had a master’s degree in creative writing so working instead of writing was beneath her and that she really just wanted to talk to someone about getting her manuscript published. For one thing, I’m an editor, not a book agent. For another, she kept acting like her degree meant she was guaranteed to get published, and in my experience a creative writing degree does not add any weight to whether or not someone’s manuscript even gets looked at (let alone whether that person can even write).

    She kept beginning every sentence with, “I’m a writer, so….” or “Because I have a creative writing degree”, and once it became clear she wasn’t interested in the job, I told her to get out and that no one would be looking at her manuscript. Last I heard, the recruiter sent her name to our agents and told them to blacklist her and trash any submissions she sent in. Publishing in a pretty small industry, so I’m sure word got around to the other houses.

    1. Mallory Janis Ian*

      Hahaha. Did you literally stand up, hold open the door, and say “Get out”?

      1. some1*

        Yeah, I’d be interested to hear from Alison or anyone else to see if they ever decided to end an interview and how they did it.

        1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

          I have. I had a guy who was making some pretty sexist comments and kept ignoring the fact that I was the department head to be “buddy” with my male lead designer.

          We were about 15 minutes into our hour slot and instead of asking additional questions, I said “Well, that’s it on our end. Do you have any questions for us?”

          Looking back, I wish I had not offered him the opportunity to ask questions. Not that he asked anything bad, in fact, he asked the standard questions, and we were done in less than 25 minutes total. But I don’t know if he understood I cut the interview short, or if he just thought we were quick interviewers.

          1. Dan*

            TBH, he might have chalked it up to “efficient” interviewing. Even then, while he may very just assumed you learned everything you needed in 15 minutes (some interviewers are more efficient than others) he probably didn’t recognize that you had enough to reject him.

            1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

              Yeah, I always figured he walked away with no understanding of what actually happened.

              I’m often told I’m too polite for my own good.

        3. Collarbone High*

          Late to the party, but I once ended an interview after three questions.

          I asked the candidate to clarify something on his resume; he told me that if I had been paying attention, I would know the answer. It turned out the confusion stemmed from the fact his resume contained several major errors. (He was applying for a copy editing job.) When I pointed that out, he said, “Oh yeah, my wife mentioned that too. I told her to fix it, I guess she didn’t.”

          I stood up and said that the interview was over. He asked why, so I took 30 seconds to explain that I would not hire an editor who submitted a resume knowing it contained errors and blamed someone else for his carelessness. Then I walked out. (Not helping his case: he addressed all his comments to the only man in the room, who wasn’t the hiring manager, and the comment about his wife was said as though she was an incompetent secretary.)

        4. Formica Dinette*

          I once sat in on an interview where they guy answered his phone twice–once just as we were sitting down and again a few minutes later. After he hung up from the second call, my colleague ended the interview.

      2. all aboard the anon train*

        No standing up and holding open the door, but I did tell her that she wasted everyone’s time and that the interview was over. Then I escorted her to the receptionists desk to make sure she didn’t try to hand off her manuscript or badger anyone else in the office.

    2. shep*

      I have an MFA in creative writing and I would LOVE an editorial assistant position. I wonder what program she came from. Also what planet. MFA does not a publishing deal make, and the fact that she didn’t understand this at all is INSANE.

      1. shep*

        (Also I wonder how she was surviving financially as an MFA holder. I remained underemployed during and for a year and a half after my degree program, had to liquidate my savings, and jumped desperately out of the sinking ship that was my then-job into an only mildly more sound lifeboat. To beat the metaphor a little more, I’m on dry land in modest paradise now! But in my experience, an MFA just makes you overqualified and unhireable for almost everything unless someone takes a chance on you (which my now-supervisor did). Or you manage to break in with a coveted publishing position, which she totally botched.)

        1. all aboard the anon train*

          Based on her background and the prep school and undergrad university she went to, it looked like she came from money. Her resume listed a lot of “writing excursions” she took overseas (I asked about this out of curiosity because I thought maybe it was related to school, but turns out she just took her school vacations to go write in Europe, so). Some of the things she said during our very short interview led me to assume she was one of those lucky few who went into writing because she had someone financially backing her dream to be an artist.

          To be honest, I really don’t think MFAs even help someone break into the publishing industry. Most of my colleagues – myself included – have degrees in other subjects. But I think a lot of people misunderstand the publishing industry. I wouldn’t say it’s a great place for people looking to use their creative degrees, unfortunately. It’s pretty much quashed my own desire to read or write fiction for the foreseeable future.

          1. shep*

            My program is one of those rare MFA schools that has some sway in the children’s/young adult lit community with agents, so I’m lucky in that respect, but certainly would never bank on it to (1) get me published or (2) a position in publishing.

            Just, wow re: that applicant, though. I wish I had the financial resources to be half that entitled! (J/K. Mostly.) Good for you for shutting the situation down swiftly and with no room for her to badger you further!

              2. shep*

                Also to be clear: While it was difficult to find a job during and after my program, and while graduate expenses are nothing to shrug at, I LOVED LOVED LOVED my MFA experience there and wouldn’t change it for the world. I’d go into debt and do it all over again.

        1. shep*

          Seriously! I almost wonder if she knew, though, and thought “Oh but I don’t have to do that because MFA.”

          Tangentially, I spent several months as a remote agent intern dealing with slush and it was an INVALUABLE learning experience re: queries. I learned (1) mine were not NEARLY as abysmal as I feared and (2) how to finesse already decent query material to stand out more.

          Of course, I still struggle with queries. But at least I don’t demand my interviewers read my manuscript! :)

            1. shep*

              Oh my goodness, YES. Definitely some crazy folks. And people who clearly just blanket-queried ANY agent, regardless of market and genre the agent actually represented. The amount of picture book queries we got was dumbfounding.

              I did feel bad for some people, though, because it was clear they’d done their research and put together a query and the appropriate amount of requested sample pages in industry format, but the writing was just. not. there.

              1. Elizabeth West*

                I was starting to worry about the latter myself, but someone asked for pages the other day, based on a query with a synopsis and the first ten. (!!!!!!!!) Maybe I don’t suck as badly as I thought…..

        2. all aboard the anon train*

          I know! I had to take my name off my alma mater’s alumni list because I received so many emails from people asking me to look at their manuscripts. I still get messages every once in awhile on LinkedIn. That is not how you query a manuscript – especially to someone who is not a book agent and has no say in manuscripts that get accepted. Ugh.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            I’ve been trying to get off my alma mater’s list because I don’t have any money to give them and I don’t read the little magazine. As for manuscripts, writers get that too. I wrote a blog post stating that I won’t read unpubs. I’ve traded off with other writers, but it’s usually people I know, and I make beta readers e-sign an agreement first, just to protect both of us.

            Preston and Child have the same disclaimer in their FAQs on their website–they don’t read them and can’t help you get published. (I’d much rather they spent their time writing new Pendergast books, anyway!)

  33. Kay*

    We had an applicant for a part-time basic customer service position whose experience (in journalism, somewhat relevant for this position) was way back in her past because she had been caring for an ill family member. Which was fine! Except she said that in the last six months, she had taken a job at Burger King to have some additional income, and that she was using that position to refresh her journalism skills. She went on and on in her cover letter about how we would not believe the horrible things that were happening at this particular Burger King, and that she had prepared dozens of pages of expose documents using her journalism skills that she was planning to pitch to local newspapers. This was all presented as great relevant experience for the position. NOPE.

    Another person for that same job stated that he had moved to our area (quite rural and small town) to be together with his girlfriend of two months, and that since he was so in love, his relationship and now his life were clearly blessed by a higher power. Therefore, we should hire him because the positive energy of his life could only enhance our workplace. ALSO NOPE.

  34. KE*

    I had a candidate apply to be both CEO and executive assistant to the CEO. Immediately rejected for both.

    1. Mallory Janis Ian*

      Dwight Shrute! Because the only person he can trust to be his assistant is himself.

    2. ZSD*

      Did the application indicate that they knew what an executive assistant did? Maybe they thought it was like being the vice-CEO.

      1. KE*

        The posting had a very thorough description that included things like “take meeting minutes,” “handle email correspondence,” “manage calendar,” etc. There was no cover letter, and their experience was all lower level AP/AR– not anything that met the minimum qualifications for a CEO, assistant CEO, or executive assistant position.

      2. LD*

        That reminds me of a former employer where the “executive assistants” were administrative/secretarial assistants to the executives. They kept bringing up salary ranges for the “vice-CEO”/”CEO in training” type of executive assistants, as evidence that they were underpaid and they never did seem to understand the difference.

        1. LBK*

          Is there a type of executive assistant that isn’t an administrative assistant to an executive? I wasn’t aware that term had any other meaning.

    3. Rincat*

      Maybe they thought executive assistant was more like Assistant CEO? Not Assistant TO the CEO…

      1. Anon Moose*

        Ha, that reminds me of the West Wing. The assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff tried to joke “well I guess that sort of makes me Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff.”

  35. AGirlWhoGames*

    I’ve been a Tech Writer for 8 years. I work in software. Our clients are mostly in the DoD. I’m a young-looking (strike 1) woman (strike 2) with no military background (strike 3). Interviewing job candidates can be an interesting experience.

    My personal worst candidate was the gentleman who a) spent most of the interview interrupting my questions to explain what I actually meant to ask him, b) went off on tangents several times and resisted all attempts to pull him back on topic, and c) explained that since he had been in the industry longer than I had been alive, he would be able to fix all of our department’s issues (without ever asking if we had issues or what said issues might be).

    I brought the interview to an abrupt end after 11 minutes and 34 seconds. (We started precisely at 10:30 a.m. so I could do the math when I walked out.) I immediately went to the hiring manager – my boss – and said, “You’ll have to open a job rec for my position if we hire this guy.” My manager walked in, told the gentleman that he would obviously be a poor cultural match, and escorted him out. Three rant-y e-mails to the in-house recruiter later and he was permanently added to the “file in the trashcan” list.

    (I have an excellent manager who understands the BS I have to deal with in this industry and who has absolute confidence in my work and my judgement. He knew that if I skipped professionalism about a job candidate to the extent that I did, the candidate had to be horrific.)

      1. AGirlWhoGames*

        I know I’m lucky. As does my company – my productivity numbers went up 15% under this manager.

    3. Polka Dot Bird*

      He mansplained what questions you were trying to interview him with?! Hahahaha nooooooo.

      1. AGirlWhoGames*

        It was pretty awful. I deal with a lot of mansplaining in this industry and can usually gracefully side-step it, but I was stunned for it to happen to me *in an interview*!

  36. Anon for this*

    Have I got a DOOZIE for you!

    * Boasted about making up words (for a technical writing position!)
    * Grabbed the resume out of an interviewer’s hands (didn’t bring a personal copy).
    * Had no idea what was on his resume (hence the above).
    * Answered “I can’t remember what I did there, it was so long ago” to most questions.
    * Resume was badly formatted, hard to read, and chock full of typos and inaccuracies. (Again, for a writing position.)
    * The answer to ‘best accomplishment’ question: employees thew him a surprise birthday party. I…what?

    No, we did not hire this person.

    1. AGirlWhoGames*

      ARGH! I am a Tech Writer, and we often get candidate resumes and phone screens that make me wonder why the person would ever think of applying for a writing position! I actually had a candidate once who said, “Well, it’s just writing. It’s not that hard.” I…you…I…!!! (We did not hire that person.)

      1. EddieSherbert*

        PET PEEVE. At LastJob, my manager’s manager told us regularly that “it’s just writing. Anyone can write. Why do you need this much time to do XYZ?” He also made up his “own” title capitalization rules because he didn’t like any of the existing ones.

        Hence, my not being there anymore.

        1. LD*

          UGH! I have a similar story from my time in corporate communications, only the “easy” job was creating corporate videos. My new boss to me (video producer) and the artist (corporate branding, art for all employee promotions, signs, corporate magazine, etc.) “Your jobs aren’t so hard. Anyone can do what you do.”

          1. jj*

            I’m just chiming in here as another corporate video producer…solidarity, my friend. There are days when I want to tell people “I’m sorry, that won’t be possible as I left my magic wand at home today.” ARGH.

        2. Elizabeth West*

          He also made up his “own” title capitalization rules because he didn’t like any of the existing ones.
          This gives me an eye twitch. At a previous job, the VP wanted the marketing dude to have a sign made. She would not budge on how it should look. This is what he had to order:

          Welcome To The Best Widget Company In The World!

      2. Revolver Rani*

        I had one like that in an interview some years ago (also a tech writer). I asked, “what do you think would be challenging for you about this job?” And she answered, “I don’t think it would be challenging.”

      3. Sans*

        “It’s just writing. It’s not that hard.”

        That is the WORST thing you could ever say to a writer.

        Smoke is coming out of my ears.

        1. AGirlWhoGames*

          I have had to justify my job’s existence at previous companies on a fairly regular basis as a result of the “anyone can write” attitude. I tend to grab a random e-mail from a software developer explaining bug fix, point to it, and say, “so then, you [HR/Project Manager/Contracts Manager/Sales] would be comfortable sending this information, as written, to a non-technical audience that regularly asks us what an IP address is?” That usually stops the question for another 3 months or so.

      1. Anon for this*

        Despite his resume flaws, his skills looked promising and useful to the team. But in the interview, he just crashed and burned.

    6. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      I am always so surprised when I get resumes and cover letters with **glaring** errors in them for a writer position!

    7. Feline*

      What is it with people applying for tech writing positions? We had an applicant make it to the peer interview with the team he would be working with. We were an all-female team at the time, and the applicant was male.

      One of us asked about why he had left journalism for tech writing, and he explained he had been on the sports beat, covering a speedboat race when a boat flipped over. You could see everyone but him shifting in our chairs, but he continued to describe how the driver died right in front of him. So he didn’t want to be a journalist any more.

      You could hear a pin drop, only because our team are professional enough not to cry during an interview.

      I understand that it’s good to tell memorable, illustrative stories during an interview rather than give one-line answers, but don’t tell stories that traumatize your interviewers.

      2. ElCee*

        When you’re one of the many ex-journos out there, you have to start somewhere, so I’m not sure why it’s a problem when they look at the tech writing field.

      3. Blue Dog*

        I really don’t see anything wrong with his answer, though. He wanted to use his writing skills in job where he wouldn’t be called upon to witness and write about death. Seems reasonable. Maybe I’m cold but I don’t get why hearing about a stranger dying in a boat crash would make you cry.

        1. Triceratops*

          It sounds like he went into detail, though. A more appropriate version of that answer would be, “I witnessed a fatal accident on assignment and realized that I don’t want to be in that position again” or something.

        2. BusSys*

          I’m with Blue Dog. While I empathize that the story is tragic and unexpected, I think him being full on honest about the incident and his “please never again” reaction makes him very normal human. Especially considering that it was probably recent if yours was the first job following that.

        3. Super awesome fun times*

          Reminds me of a civics teacher I had in high school, who explained that he had left his last career as a journalist because he was covering a suicide, was on the scene, and piece of brain matter that had been missed in clean up dropped from the ceiling into his notebook. Horrifying.

      4. JMegan*

        Ouch! Definitely TMI for the situation – there’s truth, and then there’s oversharing!

    8. Grumpy*

      “No, we did not hire this person.”

      Ug, I think we did… I’ve named him Unbearable CoWorker.

  37. Not Karen*

    Not particularly egregious, but:

    At LastJob they had current employees at the level for which they were hiring go out to lunch with the candidate to share personal experience at the job. Obviously this was also a test to see if candidates dropped their guard once they were no longer talking to “actual” interviewers. We had one candidate who started the lunch with, “Tell me everything I need to know” and asked about potentially normal things, like the dress code and flexible schedule, with an annoyed groan, e.g., “Do you have to dress [in business attire] all the time??”

  38. Mallory Janis Ian*

    We interviewed an internal applicant for a position that would be a stretch for her but that she had been doing a small part of until it was filled.

    She had been going around telling everyone that she was a shoe-in because she had been “doing the job for six months”. Then we got a phone call from a professional organization that she is in, telling us that she was bragging to everyone there that she already had the job in the bag, and it was upsetting other members of the organization who had also applied for the job. And then, in the interview, when we asked if she had any questions for us, she said, “No; I already know everything about it.”

    She did not know everything about the job! The only part of the job that she was filling in for was managing the dean’s calendar, screening his calls, and filing his travel and expense reports. There was so much more to the job than that, but she thought she had reached the pinnacle of knowledge about the position through performing those tasks.

      1. Mallory Janis Ian*

        She didn’t get the job, and she sulked for several days and gave the successful applicant the cold shoulder for about a week after she started working. Then one morning she came in with a spring in her step and a twinkle in her eye and was simply over it.

        I think she had to mourn her loss, and she didn’t have the maturity to do it discreetly, but once it was out of her system, she was fine. She was offered a lower-level promotion soon after all that, from receptionist to assisting a department head, and that helped to sooth her bruised ego.

    2. some1*

      I think this is a really common mistake people make – when you are filling in for a vacant position, you’re usually doing the absolute bare minimum.

      1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

        I was on a hiring committee for a person who was serving as an interim director and asked why she was interested in the role. Her answer was something akin to “I have enjoyed mastering the director duties assigned to me, and I look forward to learning all the facets of this role.”

        It was a great answer that was very self aware!

  39. AnonyMiss*

    There are two who stand out. Neither of them were bad per se, just really, really weird and out of touch.

    Number one, law clerk applicant, prosecutor’s office. She sent her resume, cover letter, and official-but-opened (??) transcripts by overnight FedEx. I pull out the goods. The cover letter was one paragraph. A full-page-length, singular paragraph, with even the salutation and signature within the bounds of said paragraph. Kind of like this:

    “Dear Daenerys Targaryen District Attorney, My name is Valentina Warbleworth and I’m applying to be a law clerk with your office. Attached is my resume and transcripts. I want to be a prosecutor because [blah blah blah]. Thank you for your consideration, I look forward to hearing from you. God Bless, Valentina Warbleworth.”

    I’m barely-religious, but I’m used to some Serious Christians, so the God Bless made me wince a lot less than the page-a-graph or the oddly-formatted salutation (District Attorney Daenerys Targaryen, maybe? Or just Daenerys Targaryen, Ms. Targaryen, District Attorney of Essos, or anything?). Ooookay, let’s look at the resume. It looked like she found the most colorful, most garish template… to which she added her high school prom portrait in the header. Full-length, no less. Resume listed a lot of church-related volunteering, including missionary work, but no achievements, only duties – each of which was framed within a Bible quote.

    To top this all, the phone number she had listed was dead, and so was the email, which is worth a word on its own. It was [SexyFictitiousMaleAntihero]girlfriend@aol.com. We wanted to interview her none the less, but as we could not contact her… well, so went the interview offer out the window.

    Guy #2 was at a different government law job, applying for an attorney position. The job description mentioned that they would be handing religious discrimination cases along with other discrimination, worker’s comp, unemployment, and disciplinary matters for a large public employer. Resume lists most prominently not his JD… but his BA in Theology and his MDiv. We asked why he wanted this job, and he mentioned he recently proposed to his girlfriend, and looked to relocate to her hometown (which is a great reason for moving, tbh). My boss tried to gently steer the conversation towards religion, and how he would be able to function in a religion-sterilized office. (We were not allowed to call December 25 “Christmas,” in case it offends someone – and the same went for every other holiday that may be religiously interpreted: we called Thanksgiving “the federal Thanksgiving holiday”; absolutely no celebrations were allowed in case someone’s religion forbade celebrating things; and so on. Nutty place, glad I left.) The guy went pale as a sheet, and admitted to not even looking at the job description. He thought when we meant religious discrimination/First Amendment issues, we meant protecting Christians from harassment over their beliefs. And no, this was not in any of the “religious freedom act” states… this was Cali-friggin’-fornia.

    1. Putting Out Fires, Esq*

      The story about the would-be prosecutor just confirms so many of my suspicions.

      -a slightly sarcastic and joking public defender

    2. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

      Ouch…

      Admittedly, I’ve got a BA in religion and would have gone for the MDiv if I hadn’t crashed and burned in undergrad, but I’d be super passionate about religious freedom – it was a great opportunity to learn just how broad and diverse people’s beliefs can be! But most of my fellow students in the religion department weren’t of the same mindset. I’m imagining any of them in that position and… yep… I believe it.

      1. many bells down*

        Yeah I majored in Comparative Religion because I find religion of all kinds fascinating. Possibly because I was raised in a completely non-religious home. I am also very interested in religious freedom!

      3. Megan Schafer*

        Crud. I googled “Snapewife” and now I’ve lost myself into one of the internet’s Black Holes.

    4. Mallory Janis Ian*

      At the university where I work, if a transcript is open before being submitted, it is no longer “official” and cannot be accepted. Our wording calls for an “official, sealed transcript”, but I guess people’s curiosity gets the better of them?

      I recently had to send off for my ACT scores from almost thirty years ago*, and I ordered two sets: one for me to satisfy my curiosity, and one to be sent directly to the university.

      *I’m enrolling to finish the last year needed for my bachelor’s degree, and my original, private college accepted my English ACT score in lieu of a beginning comp class, but didn’t give official credit; they just let me skip. Now I need to show that I made at least a 30 on the English section, and my current, state university will consider whether that is good enough for a beginning comp credit. I got a 36 on that part, but maybe the thirty years ago part won’t be convincing; I don’t know.

      1. Rusty Shackelford*

        I never knew a transcript had to be sealed. What’s the purpose? You’d already know everything on your own transcript, right?

        1. burningupasun*

          It’s to prevent students from manipulating the transcript. I work at a college and we won’t accept a transcript as official unless it comes sealed from the other school, because students will (and have) tried to scam before by editing their transcripts, making fake ones, etc.

        2. Q*

          To make sure you didn’t modify it in any way. It goes from the university directly to the employer.

        3. Amadeo*

          You’d think, but they do it in order to make absolutely certain that the document isn’t adulterated in any way. The doctoring powers of some folks are strong. My last job I left only a couple of months ago also involved grad school admissions into the Math department. I had so much trouble explaining this concept to international students sometimes, so I wonder if maybe it’s a US thing?

          “No, you can’t bring me your transcripts you have at home that aren’t in a sealed envelope. No, your parent cannot send them from your house in your home country. Yes, they really need to come directly from your university if you don’t already have a sealed, stamped envelope with them inside.”

          1. Liz*

            Many places won’t even accept as official a transcript in a sealed, stamped envelope if it comes via the student. I know we don’t. It has to come straight from the other school to us to meet the official transcript requirements.

          2. sopo*

            It is an US thing. As someone with a BA from a country that does not do ‘transcripts’ and a school that was unable to help me actually fulfill the ‘sealed, sent by school transcript’ requirement (their best offer was a copy of my degree emailed to me for 40 euros) it’s a very frustrating request. I always have to try the ‘ I have a copy of my degree/grades that has been legalized by my countries Dept of Ed and the local Office of the County clerk and that’s the best I can do.’

        4. Mallory Janis Ian*

          A few years ago, my university also enacted a policy stating that ALL faculty, both new and current, had to submit official, sealed transcripts to their respective deans’ offices. This was an effort to ensure that we didn’t have any faculty with fraudulent degrees and to get rid of them if there were.

  40. Queen Anne of Cleves*

    Not much to add but one thing stands out. Apparently an interviewee was given the advice to sit on the same side of the table as the interviewer. Once I entered and sat down across from her she got up and moved to the chair right next to me. It felt so awkward and too close..not only that she could see my notes and files in front of me. I felt like I couldn’t take the notes I wanted because she was literally right at my elbow.

      1. Queen Anne of Cleves*

        I should have but I was so new at recruiting, interviewing and hiring at the time I just kind of froze and tried to work with it.

  41. Rincat*

    I had one candidate who mixed up the time zone for a video conference interview, and she tried to get into the conf room an hour late. We tried calling and emailing when the interview was supposed to start, and she never responded to us. Later in the day though, she sent us a scathing email about how unprofessional we were to keep her waiting (even though we tried contacting her), and she’d never been treated that way, and she’d never work for us in a million years. I remember she put something like “good luck with your job search” in quotes in the email, as if she was being sarcastic.

    I understand it’s frustrating to have a mix up like that when you’re taking the time to do an interview, but geez! No need to send a rant-filled email.

    1. Chinook*

      I was the candidate who got her time zones mixed up. I was in a different province for a two day group interview and, on the second day, they had scheduled individual interviews and mock teaching situations. For reasons I still don’t know, I got the time wrong AND I hadn’t reset my watch to the local time. I showed up for my interview 2 hours late.

      Luckily, the company realized they had put enough money in getting me out there that they let me do a mock classroom. Only, they set me up to fail (I later learned) by having their most experienced teacher play the most annoying and clueless student ever. I didn’t pick up on it but couldn’t understand why this person wasn’t understanding what I said, so I just repeatedly pivoted and tried different techniques. Turned out that, by the end, I had so impressed her with my flexibility that they gave me the job despite my ineptness at time management.

  42. New Girl*

    We had a guy call us 30 minutes AFTER this scheduled interview to say his cousin had just had her baby so he couldn’t come in for the interview and wanted to reschedule. My boss was reluctant, but decided to reschedule. Low and behold the guy no called, no showed.

    1. Artemesia*

      Every single time we bent over backward to accommodate someone who no showed for a ‘good reason’ they still proved to be flakey later or no showing later. It is one thing to have someone phone before missing something with an emergency — but when they no show, you know what you need to know 90 % of the time.

  43. Bree*

    A candidate was flying into an interview from two time zones over (CT to PT). He was a high-level exec candidate who would be required to do long-haul flights all over the world, usually to Asia and Australia, about 50% of the time. When we scheduled a dinner for 6:30pm, he started bombarding us with emails about how dinner MUST be at 5pm because his “bio-clock” would already be ready for food at that time and he also needed to be in bed at 8pm to ensure adequate rest for his “bio-clock”. He sent us several articles about the need for rest and how companies expect too much from their employees. Also, science articles about human biological clocks, with the specification that he wasn’t talking about procreation (thanks?)

    We canceled the interview because you can’t exactly fly into Beijing as a VP and tell everyone that you need to tend to your “bio-clock” so you’ll be skipping the morning briefing, but mostly because he was SUPER weird and demanding about the whole thing (Plus, this has always bothered me: 6:30pm is a perfectly normal dinnertime! Yes, you’re coming from a new time zone but, like, suck it up, dude.)

    1. Rincat*

      Not like the time I went to Europe (I live in Texas) and we were not offered dinner until 9pm the day we arrived. I was so hungry. :( Yes, 6:30pm is pretty reasonable!

      1. Elizabeth West*

        Or that the London tube rolls up at 11:30 pm and if you miss the last train, you are subject to the dreaded night bus.

        This would be good info for interviewers to give someone traveling overseas for a job hunt, or even to another city. Let them know that during X hours in the afternoon, you won’t be able to go to a restaurant, so plan accordingly. Or if you’re flying in the night before, you’ll have to make travel arrangements because public transit isn’t available after X o’clock.

        1. Claire (Scotland)*

          Night Tube services are starting next month on Fridays and Saturdays! I am looking forward to this as I mostly go to London for weekends, and it’ll be nice not to have to rely on the night buses.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            Really!?! They worked out the details finally? I remember the negotiations broke down before. That’s great to hear.

            I did ride the night bus last visit, but it was in Kingston and super boring, LOL. No crazy stuff at all. And here I was hoping for an adventure! ;)

            1. Mander*

              Nothing interesting has ever happened to me on the night bus, and I used to take it through Brixton regularly. I’m so disappointed.

    2. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      Even adjusted for the time zone: 8:30 is not that out there as a dinnertime. Sure, I’d make sure I had a snack in my bag for mid-afternoon in case I got hungry earlier, but that’s it.

    3. Qmatilda*

      When I hop time zones I am hungry all of the time. Apparently my stomach thinks both hunger and the local eating time are triggers.

      Long haul travel does the same thing.

      1. Parenthetically*

        Saaaaaaaaame. Although on long-hauls I have that weird combination of hungry and also mildly nauseous.

    4. Dan*

      I wouldn’t tell him to suck it up, but I would expect him to manage his own bio clock and snack appropriately. If you scheduled meetings nonstop such that he couldn’t get a light snack late afternoon if he needed it, that’s on you guys somewhat. If I’m tired and hungry, I’m not sucking it up. I might be physically present, but I’m not going to be productive.

      But as to what you’re hiring him for… yeah. I travel all around the world for leisure, and am gone a month at a time. I generally get first class or business class tickets. And you know what? Me and long flights don’t work too nice together. I can’t sleep on them. If you expected me to fly to Asia twice a month (or even once a month) for a week or less at each trip, it would be murder on my body and I would be barely functional while I’m gone. I really would have to self select out.

      1. Anne (with an "e")*

        That’s exactly what I was thinking. A granola bar, a pop tart, Nabisco crackers, dried fruit. These thing exist. Put them in in your brief case, problem solved.

  44. Mel*

    I phone interviewed someone once for a low level PR position who sounded as though he was in an echoey room when he answered (this was a scheduled phone interview). Initially I brushed it off as maybe a cell phone issue or that he was in a lobby somewhere or a cafeteria. Well after about 15 minutes I figured it out when I hear the loud woosh of a toilet as he’s explaining the outcome of a project he worked on. I interrupted him and said “excuse me, was that a toilet?” He claimed he was near a public restroom and apologized for the interruption, but I was skeptical. And then –another woosh, but this one was louder almost as if the phone was held near the toilet. Then a minute later as I’m fumbling trying to end the interview, and as if on cue, I hear water rushing from a faucet. Needless to say he didn’t make it to the in person interview.

          1. Hermione*

            The whole using your phone in the bathroom seems especially gross to me, given its necessary proximity to your face/mouth/eyes when in use. I suppose a lot of people do it now but it still makes me squirm.

            1. Megan Schafer*

              Ok, but think of all the other things that are in the bathroom at the same time. I don’t wash my face, for example, after I’ve been using the toilet, and it’s been exposed to the bathroom cooties just as surely as anything I’m carrying with me is. Heck, think that most people leave their toothbrushes open on the counter or their loofahs/sponges in the shower.

              1. Liz*

                That’s why I always put our toothbrushes away when we expect company. Despite the sign above the toilet (Lid down or cats drown) people here in the U.S. seem to leave the lid up more often than not. Always squicks me out.

                On the other hand, everyone in our house reads while using the bathroom. Can’t speak for the men, but I have a “reading hand” which never touches anything other than my book/Kindle. :)

    2. Mel*

      In one of my interviews as i was introducing myself and thanking the person for coming in to interview the first words out of her mouth were “you mean this isn’t the interview with [another company]?”

  45. Cube Ninja*

    I may have dropped this one a couple years ago, but via a former colleague:

    Interviewing for an entry level position at a company that did outsource work for mortgage companies, we had a reasonably relaxed business casual dress code (cargo khakis were acceptable, for example) and not much concern about tattoos or piercings, as long as they were offensive or excessive. For the record, I have inner conch piercings and 00ga in my lobes.

    Candidate arrives, begins interview, at some point asks about policy on piercings, is told they’re not a big deal. He then proceeds to rummage in his pocket and re-insert all of his piercings *while in the interview*.

    He was not hired.

    1. KimmieSue*

      Years ago I was recruiting for clean room technicians. Absolutely NO jewelry. When discussing this requirement and the reasons behind it, I had an interviewee ask me “does that include tongue piercings?” Followed immediately with her opening her big wide mouth, extending her tongue to show me the piercing.

      She was less than two feet from my face. It felt like two inches.

      Not hired.

      1. many bells down*

        Yeah I don’t care about piercings but watching someone fiddle with them squicks me the heck out. If it’s just sitting in your eyebrow or your lip, fine. If you’re twisting it or wiggling it or popping it in or out … noooopeee.

        1. Sophia in the DMV*

          I don’t do this in interviews but I am absolutely guilty of taking out and putting in my nose ring absentmindedly! I’m horrified if people think I’m picking my nose but I can’t stop myself – at a stop light, at my computer/while thinking etc

  46. Anonymouse*

    In a less uriney one, because I used to get about 500-600 applicants every time a file clerk was posted, I started putting one prescreening question.

    The question was “Rate your interest in the following job duties: Filing”. It was the only job duty listed, since it was the only duty of the job. The only options were “Interested” and “Not Interested”. I could usually weed out 2/3 of the applicants because they would put “Not Interested”.

    1. AndersonDarling*

      I am stuttering with amazement and disbelief! I want to be a file clerk but I don’t want to file!
      But adding the question was brilliant beyond belief!

    8. Liane*

      Oh, gee. This reminds me of one of the stories my mother-in-law told me about her career in Housing and Urban Development. She was very high level and supervised a lot of people before she retired.
      MIL said that often when she had a slacker and was trying to get through the firing process, she would assign them to only filing–right across from her work area where she could keep an eye on them–for as long as it took for them to be shipped out. There were a few who shaped up.
      I have no doubt that MIL did this. She was a wonderful, sweet person–but you did not give her trouble, or you would regret it and not ever do it again.

  47. HumbleOnion*

    An applicant cursed in the cover letter & included fun facts about animal penises. That might be ok if this were a job for a veterinary urologist, but it wasn’t.

    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      “Did you know that a cat’s penis is sharply barbed along its shaft? I know for a fact the females were not consulted about that.”

      2. Amadeo*

        Oh, it’s true. Trust me. Signed, once pre-vet student with an animal reproduction class, and once certified vet tech, also certified to do A.I. on cows. Don’t ask me where my arm has been.

    4. Wendy Darling*

      I recently wrote a cover letter that included a few lines about my dog’s exemplary office dog skills.

      It was for a job at a company offering pet services that is well-known for their dog-friendly office, though. Know your audience!

  48. evilintraining*

    Handed a guy a Word test with errors and asked him to fix them as he went. When he handed it back, he said, “I improved it.” He changed the wording in several places. Not egregious, but really? Arrogance doesn’t get you the job.

    Another showed up late to apply for a driving job, obviously hadn’t showered that morning, alluded to the fact that his drug screen and background checks might be problematic, then asked if I had a cigarette he could bum on his way out.

    1. K.*

      What was the Word guy in the running for? If the job involved editing in any capacity, I can see changing the wording.

      1. alice*

        I was going to ask this – I completed a test as part of an application for an editing position – I didn’t get the job, but I made to the final round (ultimately the other candidate had more experience). The interviewers told me they were impressed by my rewording of several passages, which is why they almost hired me.

    2. Persephone Mulberry*

      I have resisted the urge to edit and not just proof, in the past – particularly if it’s not clear whether “fixing” is supposed to include things like split infinitives.

      But to hand it back with the comment “I improvedit”? Wow.

      1. Liane*

        I *always* clarify that before I start–is this fixing typos and spelling/grammatical errors only or do you want me to tighten up wording and so on as well?

          1. Isabel*

            I was hired for my very first freelance editing job by a well-known gallery owner who had written a book of personal essays and short stories. He planned to self-publish after my edit and to sell the book in his gallery. We talked at length about the book before I began. He mentioned his language limitation (English was his second language) and how he didn’t feel he had been able to convey some themes he wanted to get at.

            So I dove right in, earnestly massaging the text, sure that when I finished he would feel completely understood. I handed over the edited manuscript and waited by the phone for my praise and inevitable bonus. Well, he called me, devastated. He had expected me to be impressed by his masterpiece and only wanted “punctuation errors” corrected. In fact, he said, he had seen himself more as a writing mentor to me.

  49. pinyata*

    A candidate’s Linkedin page said their nickname was “The King,” location “In Bed.”

    2. Bowserkitty*

      Now I finally understand why people say to carefully monitor your social media presence…I don’t know ANYBODY who would even think about writing that (-_-)

  50. Pwyll*

    Strangest by far was the intern candidate who sent me a full sized color photo of himself with a sticky-note that said he was AIPAC-certified. He was African-American. His cover letter mentioned growing up “in the ghetto” but rising above it while caring for his elderly family and training with ROTC, but he turned down his “military service offer” to come work for us.

    It was as if someone told him that getting an internship is as easy as checking every minority box possible. We didn’t interview him, not least of all because when I contacted the school listed on his resume to confirm he was enrolled (we had a formal relationship with a specific school, and this resume was received outside of their usual process) we were informed he was not a student.

    1. writelhd*

      Fair enough about rejecting him because he claimed he was a student somewhere he wasn’t…that’s a pretty big deal, because it’s dishonest. But as to the rest, maybe I have to have read the cover letter to get what you mean, but I see a bit of an issue for rejection someone because of it….if that were the only reason. Who are you to say to say that someone like that doesn’t really exist and is only “checking minority boxes.” That attitude is part of what perpetuates the problems minorities face. Their experiences aren’t like “mainstream” experiences, they aren’t as relate-able to the people who do the hiring, so the don’t get hired. And then because the don’t get hired, they don’t get the work experience to put on their resumes that would be more relate-able…etc. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to talk about being raised in the ghetto and taking care of your elderly family and doing ROTC in your cover letter or not for all jobs, but…if that’s what you have that’s true about you to write about and you can relate it to your ability to to the job in a convincing way, then it’s what you have.

      1. Pwyll*

        I suppose I should have made it clear: everything was a lie. We googled him once we found out the school didn’t know who he was. There’s no such thing as being AIPAC certified (not in his context), the school he claimed to attend didn’t have any idea who he was and it doesn’t have an ROTC program. All of the jobs on his resume were college work-study jobs, which he couldn’t have done if he didn’t attend the school, and were ALL race related (think, Student Trainee, Affirmative Action Office).

        His cover letter had nothing of substance to it OTHER than mentioning minorities: it basically said “You should hire me because I’m African American, from a poor background, kinda a veteran, and Jewish.”

        I hear what you’re saying, that was poor wording on my part. We had a great track record of hiring minorities who demonstrated that they should be hired based on reasons that had nothing to do with their race or religion.

        1. Noah*

          I don’t know if this is still true, but AIPAC used to offer a certificate that entitled you to a special passport stamp going into and out of Israel indicating that you can be trusted not to take actions against Israel. It also has nothing to do with being Jewish and certainly nothing to do with being non-African American. It’s upsetting that you apparently find the candidates claim of such certification to be untrue (?), improper (?), something else bad (?) because he was African-American. Was international travel part of the job description? I still wouldn’t put AIPAC certification on my resume (unless the job clearly required travel to Israel), but it’s hardly unreasonable. Your response is unreasonable and seemingly offensive.

        2. Aleph Nulliparous*

          Pwyll,

          I am a minority, and immediately understood your posts. Please don’t feel like you have to tiptoe around this issue on my behalf. It’s kind of nuts that we can’t have a conversation about this, without seemingly offending the overreacters of the world (cough cough, Noah).

          Good for you for checking on your perfectly reasonable suspicions and not hiring the liar. I would have done the same.

  51. SJPufendork*

    I work in technology and often go by my initials as opposed to my first name (I am female, so I adopted this long long ago).

    My boss (Jim) and I were set to interview a senior lead. On the morning of the interview, I was at the front desk printing a shipping label when the candidate came in, looking a bit disheveled. He also had on dark sunglasses, which he didn’t remove. I said good morning and introduced myself without thinking by my first name, so it wasn’t clear I was one of his interviewers. I recall making some comment apologizing about the bright light in reception. To this, the candidate replied, “nah….I just don’t want them to know I had to Take something to get here today” (he then made a gesture that implied he was smoking pot).

    I Cancelled the interview in the spot. To my declaration that we really didn’t need to proceed, the candidate demanded to talk to his interviewers. When I said I was one, he accused me of tricking him.

  52. friendlyposter*

    A candidate wrote a 2-page thank you note after his interview, emphasizing that he was perfect for the job because he has a strong work ethic, as opposed to lazy public employees who don’t. He made at least 3-4 other indirect swipes at “lazy” and “incompetent” public employees too. Even if this approach could be forgiven in other contexts (which I doubt), the letter fell especially flat because the job was with the government…. meaning the interviewers were public employees. Seven years later, I still have that thank you note.

    2. Marillenbaum*

      I love that you saved it! I used to work in college admissions, and when I was there, we definitely saved the wacky extra materials students (or family members) sent. My favorite was the mother who sent me a scrapbook of her daughter: prom photos, sports snaps, baby photos. Poor child.

  53. sockpuppet*

    1. Asked for a an example of how she resolved a professional conflict, candidate said, “I disagreed with my boss on policy x. I went to the CEO and kept going to the CEO until my boss was fired.”

    2. We’re in the south. Candidate from the north began mimicking a staff member’s southern accent during a group lunch and said, “Even when you say smart things, the accent makes it sound dumb, doesn’t it?”

    3. The candidate, presumably white, who said in his cover letter gave as evidence that he believed in diversity: his partner was African American and he “loved” their interracial children.

    1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      Asked for a an example of how she resolved a professional conflict, candidate said, “I disagreed with my boss on policy x. I went to the CEO and kept going to the CEO until my boss was fired.

      Wow…we had a candidate who was asked a similar question and she told a story about how she, the communications manager, and the marketing manager disagreed on how the project should go. When we asked how it was resolved, she said, “well I was the lead, so I ignored (marketing manager) and just did what I wanted.”

      1. Katie the Fed*

        We had a guy who answered several questions like this. “I went around my boss/did what I wanted, and was ultimately vindicated.” He used the word “vindicated” maybe 4-5 times. Nope!

        1. sockpuppet*

          I’m always torn between thinking, “Who SAYS this stuff” and “Thank you for saying it so we can dodge this bullet.””

            1. AnotherAlison*

              Honestly, I’m a quiet, introverted person, but I tend to be a little oversharing in situations where I’m uncomfortable. I clearly remember saying something awkward about the suit I was wearing at the end of my interview for my first position in my current company.

              I really enjoy reading these stories and seeing I’m not the biggest interview idiot ever.

            2. Snarkus Aurelius*

              You and I know this behavior is wrong, but they don’t. They’re sincerely not keeping it together because in their world they believe that’s acceptable behavior. What’s worse, they think people will agree!

              The upsides are a great story and a fantastic screening tool

        2. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

          VINDICATED!

          I’m going to see how many times I can work that into conversation today!

    2. Liane*

      “2. We’re in the south. Candidate from the north began mimicking a staff member’s southern accent during a group lunch and said, ‘Even when you say smart things, the accent makes it sound dumb, doesn’t it?'”

      “No, it doesn’t–but your spouting stupid, ignorant nonsense gave me my first clue that you are an ignorant jerk, which isn’t a skillset needed in this position, so we won’t be moving you forward. Bless your heart.”

  54. Anonymous Educator*

    I’ve got to say I’ve been fairly lucky when involved in hiring. Some candidates have been less than ideal or awkward, but nothing really story-worthy.

    I did get a funny résumé once for a tech position, and the second page of the résumé was just a multi-columned list of random tech things (JavaScript, Excel, Notepad, etc.)… nothing about level of proficiency (and Notepad, really?) or what the candidate actually used these for in previous jobs. There were probably about 300 things in the list. I was just like, “What are we supposed to do with this list?”

    1. Liane*

      Maybe someone who read and misunderstood that crazy advice to hide keywords all over your resume so that computer resume scanner will pick them up?

      1. Anonymous Educator*

        Possibly, except it wasn’t hidden. It was a second page in full black font. I also wasn’t at a place using an applicant tracking system—it was a résumé directly emailed to the hiring manager.

    2. Wendy Darling*

      When I was a kid my dad brought a stack of resumes home and I was being nosy looking at them. I found one that had the person’s entire computer specs listed under ‘Skills’. Like, Windows 98, 500mb hard drive, 8mb RAM, Soundblaster Pro.

      Even middle schooler me was like, ‘so what I get from this is dude doesn’t know anything about computers.’

    3. BusSys*

      To be fair, Notepad is pretty awesome for anyone working with code.

      But Notepad++ is even better!

      1. Mander*

        I’m not even a coder but I’d be suspicious of anyone using plain old Notepad for any serious projects. Notepad++ is a bare minimum requirement!

        1. Anymouse*

          Okay. This made me laugh out loud and gave me a reason to make my first comment on this site. Congratulations.

  55. KE*

    I was recruiting for a midlevel position for a writer/editor for fundraising pieces for an university. A med school alumnus applied, writing that he’d recently retired and had always dreamed of being a writer. His writing sample was a research paper on chlamydia.

    3. Marillenbaum*

      I had a student once submit an essay about how her boyfriend gave her herpes. It was the Common App, so this essay went to every school she applied to. She was forever known in the office as Herpes Girl.

    4. Lulubell*

      This reminds me of the time that the sales guy from a medical journal tried to sell me advertising by showing some examples they did for a herpes medication. With photos and everything. I work in high end skin care, so while this might be a typical Tuesday for him, it was NOT for me!

  56. Joseph*

    So my last company ran candidates through a gauntlet of interviews – pretty much a full day. Many of our candidates were flown in from out of town and the office was a good distance from the airport, so we’d arrange a flight the afternoon before, car rental and then a hotel next door to the office.
    So morning of the interview, the guy walks into our office. While walking him to her office for the start of the formal interview process, the hiring manager did the usual small talk “how was the flight? how was the hotel?” and asks him what he did last night – expecting the usual response about a chain restaurant for dinner or watching TV or whatever.
    Interviewee’s exact verbatim response: So I went to a bar in [super-trendy area of town like 45 minutes from our office]. I was drinking and saw a girl who I thought was cute and started chatting her up. After we’d talked for a few minutes, she turned and said “You know I’m a hooker right?”
    The manager cut the conversation off at that point before he could give more details. We discussed it for weeks and never concluded why he thought that was an appropriate conversation to discuss with an interviewer.

    1. Katie the Fed*

      Maybe your manager is someone people get very comfortable with very easily? I’m a bit like that – people just confess the weirdest things to me.

    2. LBK*

      Depending on how this was delivered I could actually see that being a pretty funny anecdote, but anything involving hookers is probably not appropriate for an interview.

  57. KimmieB*

    OH. I have never commented on here, but I have the best story. I used to be a store manager for a tool retailer, and I was interviewing candidates for an assistant manager position. A woman came in for her interview is a tight, see-thru skirt and giant high heels. When I closed the door to me office, she said, “Oh, you’re a woman,”, then kicked off her shoes with a groan and proceeded to give one of the worst interviews I’ve ever heard.
    I guess she didn’t feel I was worth her time or effort.

    1. Anonymous Educator*

      Wow. So many things wrong with that. So her plan was that you would be a heterosexual man who’d perv on her and thus give her the job?

  58. Meg!*

    During an interview, I asked the candidate a question similar to “Tell me about a time you had to overcome a difficult situation.” Her example was about the time she came home and caught her daughter in bed with her husband (her daughter’s stepfather). Awkward!

    3. Mel*

      Well….that could speak to how well she stays composed and how rationale her decisions are in stressful situations , couldn’t it?

      1. SarahBee*

        Sure. But it’s still entirely inappropriate for the context, and shows a decided lack of judgment and professionalism.

    4. AW*

      caught her daughter in bed with her husband

      Is that how she worded it? I’m more freaked out at the way it kinda sounds like she blames the daughter rather than the husband (shouldn’t be “caught her husband”).

  59. Lee*

    I was included in the hiring process for two new staff for the team I was leading. We interviewed a slew of candidates and the person I wanted to hire was someone with the academic background suited for the contract. The person the other supervisors had as their first choice completely turned me off during the interview. She asked *me* if I had children. I have no idea why she brought that up except maybe to curry favor with an employer who was a mother? Uh, no. Just no. Then, you could help but notice the top of her bra was showing out of her low cut top. I could not help but think, for the love of god, woman, cover yourself up! You’re supposed to be a professional! I guessed that she had hoped a man would be interviewing her at our office (I’m a woman).

    Unfortunately, I was overruled, and she was hired. She continued to dress like that and not being her direct supervisor, I couldn’t say anything. I had a bad feeling about her and wouldn’t you know, she expected others to do her work for her. She didn’t carry her weight in the team. I would go talk to her in person and point out we were a team and she was falling behind on her assignments and it was affecting the whole team. I gave her some suggestions on where she was having problems, but she wouldn’t listen. I don’t know if it was pride or simply b/c she realized someone else would cover for her if she continued to do shoddy work. One time she even came to my office and tried to physically intimidate me b/c I called out her incompetence to my boss.

    With no support from above, I left for a better job as soon as I could. A few months later, I heard she resigned. And didn’t bother giving 2 weeks’ notice. Interviewers, unless something in the resume or cover letter seems to contradict what you are seeing or feeling (in which case, do further research and ask questions), go with your gut.

    1. KRM*

      We had a contract worker (who I was not involved in hiring, alas) who dressed SUPER inappropriately. She always wore things a size too small for her, and her bra neither fit, nor concealed her nipples at all. She also insisted on wearing open-toed shoes into the lab ( a big no-no) and “forgetting” to put on lab shoes.
      She also spent a lot of time talking about how the way she dressed was “going to get her a man” and how her (teenaged) daughter was dating a “rich Jewish boy” so she should marry him.

      The kickers came when 1-our department VP had a meeting with all the research associates and she showed up 40′ late with Starbucks in her hand and 2-at the end of her contract position she claimed to first, not know she was on a contract and second, that she be hired as a scientist level (which are only PhDs at our company). She was informed that her shoddy work didn’t even merit a contract extension, and she was let go.

  60. grasshopper*

    Several stories:

    Guy who showed up in tshirt, cargo shorts and sneakers for an office job. When asked a question about his plans and goals for the future, he answered: “I want your job. Or to become a cop.”

    VP participated in the interviews and introduced herself to the candidate as “Jennifer”. The candidate repeatedly called her “Jenny” despite being told again that her name was “Jennifer”.

    Someone who hadn’t even applied for a job showed up and berated the receptionist, demanding that HR come and speak with him immediately because we should be grateful to have him working with us.

    Candidate who said “uuuuhhhmmm” so often in the beginning, middle and end of sentences that I started to keep a tally and realized that she said it over 100 times in 45 minutes.

    1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      VP participated in the interviews and introduced herself to the candidate as “Jennifer”. The candidate repeatedly called her “Jenny” despite being told again that her name was “Jennifer”.

      Ugh…my first name is fairly common, but not the most common spelling…think Katie vs. Catie. It frustrates me to get thank you notes that say, “Dear Catie…” when the candidate has my email address, my email signature, and my business card that all clearly say, “Katie ___”

      1. Dan*

        I have a Swedish spelling of a common Norwegian last name. I get addressed with the wrong spelling so often, even by people who know me, that when I get something spelled correctly, I just assume it’s spam.

      2. Wendy Darling*

        My name (which is not actually Wendy!) has two spellings that are basically equally common, and one of my coworkers uses the wrong one every. Single. Time. she emails me even though the correct spelling is in my email address, my email headers, and my email signature.

        Her name is an unusual spelling of a fairly common name and I have to resist the urge to spell it the more common way out of spite.

      3. Fushi*

        I’ve always gone by “Kate,” and the amount of times people will just completely ignore the name I’ve said/written in front of them and call me “Katie” instead…UGH

    2. Jo Riley*

      Oof, we had someone do the name thing. She’d communicated over email with our director (let’s say her name is Katherine) and had done a first interview with her. Second interview was the one I was in on, and the entire time she referred to our director as Katrina. My coworker felt bad that no one corrected her, but I figure if you can’t even remember your potential boss’s name–which you’ve seen in writing–then I don’t want you handling our finances.

    3. Pineapple Incident*

      I would’ve done the same tally-ing thing with the ummmmm girl. That stuff bothers me so much- I’d rather someone just pause if they need a moment!

      1. motherofdragons*

        My former coworker is a serious “ummm”-er. Yet she kept getting tapped to do presentations at big, statewide conferences! Bugged me to no end.

    4. motherofdragons*

      Feeling for your VP! I also have a name that has common nicknames. It really bugs me when I introduce myself as, to use your example, Jennifer, and people immediately call me Jen or Jenny. I’ve gotten better about smiling and saying, “Actually, only my family calls me Jenny. At work, I prefer to go by Jennifer.”

      1. MJ (Aotearoa/New Zealand)*

        I have the opposite issue! I introduce myself as “MJ” and a lot of people respond with “and what does that stand for?” After the first couple of times of telling people, and them proceeding to use my full first name, I’ve gotten pretty good at “MJ’s fine, thanks”.

        Just refer to people how they introduce themselves, it’s not that hard!?

      2. many bells down*

        I am actually a Jennifer, and I don’t mind Jenny if I’ve told the person they can call me that (I actually use Jenny at work most of the time), but it drives me NUTS if someone just assumes they can call me something different than what I’ve said. Jennifer is such a common name, and I spent years trying to get people to address me by my preferred version with no success, so I’m pretty sensitive about it. If I sign my email “Jennifer Bellsdown” I do not want a reply that says “Dear Jenn,”

        2. motherofdragons*

          Same! I’ve had people ask me, “What’s the big deal?” and I’m like, it’s my damn name!

      3. AliceBD*

        I switched from my full name to a nickname at age 9, but I’ve had to switch back to my full name at work because people keep calling me by a related name that is Not My Name. This isn’t really an issue in social situations, so at work I introduce myself by my full name and at church I use my nickname.

        For example, if my name was Virginia (not my actual name) and my nickname was Ginny, but then people at work call me Ginevra. I don’t respond to Ginevra and it is Not My Name. It’s a perfectly nice name and I have friends and coworkers called Ginevra, but it is Not Me. I don’t mind people using Ginny, but if using Ginny is going to make 50% or more of the people call me Ginevra, I’d rather go by Virginia because at least it is my real name.

  61. De Minimis*

    I’ve done one interview, nothing too interesting. One tip for candidates, though: When interviewers ask about getting feedback or dealing with supervisors, you probably shouldn’t talk about filing union grievances.

    1. Abby*

      I had someone in an interview ask me what the procedure was for filing grievances. She wasn’t already employed by the company. She did not get hired.

  62. Tammy*

    Years ago when I was a system/network administrator, the team I was on took turns interviewing job candidates, and one day it was my turn. The candidate was super proud of his certifications and had all the “right answers” to the expected questions memorized.

    Unfortunately for him, my style of technical interview wasn’t questions like “what’s the command to do X?” Rather, I’d throw out a scenario, and then let the candidate troubleshoot. I’d systematically eliminate options, watching for how the candidate thought through the information s/he was receiving and what s/he would do when s/he reached a wall and got stuck.

    Well, it quickly became obvious he had no clue what to do in a real world situation, and ultimately he told me “well, I’d do XYZ next.” I don’t remember what XYZ was, and it doesn’t matter at this stage, but the important thing was that XYZ wasn’t actually possible on a real computer. So I invited him to walk over to my desk and show me how to do XYZ, since “I’ve never seen that technique”.

    He started muttering to himself, under his breath but plenty loud enough that I could hear it. And what I heard was “mumble mumble mutter mutter F**KING B**CH mumble mutter!”

    Shocked and horrified doesn’t begin to cover how I felt. Today’s more mature and less petty me would have simply ended the interview there. Younger and pettier me, I hesitate to admit, didn’t do that. Instead, I spent another 90 minutes throwing him the toughest questions I could think of, just to watch him squirm. I escorted him back to our reception area, then walked into my boss’s office, threw the guy’s resume on my boss’s desk, and said “if you hire this guy, you’ll have my resignation five minutes later.” And then I told him why.

    Needless to say, we didn’t hire that guy, but I still wonder what was going through his head.

    That was the weirdest and worst behavior I’ve seen from a job seeker, but definitely not the weirdest and worst behavior I’ve seen in the workplace. As someone who’s been not just the only woman on all-male technical teams for most of her career, but a transgender woman (and hence treated as even farther down on the “geek power curve”), I’ve unfortunately seen a lot of fairly awful workplace behavior. (I can tell stories in the next open thread, if people are interested.) Fortunately, I’m in management now and work for a company that truly values what I bring to the table, so I haven’t had to deal with that sort of nonsense recently.

      1. Tammy*

        I actually did write a book, though it’s more a memoir of my life overall and doesn’t talk a great deal about workplace experiences specifically.

        Unfortunately, I don’t know a good way to provide information about it here without breaching the (admittedly slight) anonymity of my pseudonym and identifying my employer. :-( If anyone is interested, you are welcome to email me at “tammywrites [at] iclooud [dot] com” and I can provide a link off-blog.

    5. vpc*

      I would love to learn from your experiences! Glad you have ended up in a good place, even if the trajectory to get there was… sometimes less than ideal.

  63. designbot*

    One candidate’s resume claimed she had a “Bachelorette’s degree.” I actually googled this one because my reaction was, wait, is this a thing now? No, no it is not. At first I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and think, maybe this is some sort of feminist statement. But then I saw the butterfly illustration on her cover letter (I always review portfolio, then resume, then cover letter), and decided no, it’s just plain childish.
    Another sent no portfolio samples, which was listed as a requirement in the ad, and half her resume was taken up by a photo of her at the beach–it would have been a nice photo for an online dating profile, not for anything business related. Also she was from out of the country and would require a work visa, which if she had known anything about the company she would realize is highly unlikely to happen from a company that size. Not the worst, right, but not getting invited for an interview either. She proceeded to follow up three times, each time getting increasingly demanding to know why she hadn’t heard from us, she thought she was really good, etc. Everyone told me to ignore it but she just kept writing, so I finally wrote her back and said sorry, we’ve selected a stronger local candidate who followed the requirements laid out in the job description.

    2. afiendishthingy*

      Bachelorette’s degree????? Weird autocorrect? Did she genuinely think that’s what it was called?

      1. designbot*

        My guess is that she thought that the words “bachelor” and “bachelorette” were always swapped to indicate gender because someone had explained bachelorette parties to her, or thought it was a cute/inventive thing to do so. But that said, who knows what goes through people’s minds sometimes.

    3. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      I too always start with portfolios and I have been amazed at some of the ones I have seen.

      I received one that was all the cards you can do online at Walgreens/Shutterfly, where you use their templates and pop in photos.

      1. designbot*

        oh my god. The worst I’ve gotten has been all single-page or less stuff, like newspaper ads and band flyers. Never stock card “designs.”
        It really makes me long for some sort of certification in the graphic design field just as a way to draw a clear boundary for requirements.

        1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

          I fought with HR to take the “or equivalent experience” off the B.A. in design requirement as a way to prevent some of these applications.

          I also received on that was full of iron-on t-shirt designs and vinyl stickers made with one of those Circut machines.

          1. T3k*

            And now I don’t feel so bad about my portfolio. I lean very heavily towards the opposite end of business/professional designs, but at least it’s my own graphics, not templates.

            1. designbot*

              I wouldn’t feel bad about that, just know your audience! There’s nothing wrong with t-shirts and band posters, but a consultancy with corporate clients could care less, and visa-versa. The people showing newspaper ads claimed they’d been graphic designers for 20 years, so there must be a job out there for those people somewhere, it just was not in a place that did heavy-duty information graphics.

          2. Dynamic Beige*

            Hmm… I don’t have a B.A., my cert is “Associate of $ArtCollege” It was a 4-year programme, though. I have sometimes wondered if that would ever be problem if I wanted to apply for a full-time job. I guess it might.

    5. De Minimis*

      So if she’d gone to grad school would she say she had a “Mistress’s Degree?”

      3. Mander*

        I used to make that joke when I finished my MA. But, I meant it as a joke and never put it on a resume.

    6. Believe in the Bachelorette!*

      I want to believe that the Bachelorette candidate was actually just really good at marketing and branding and was going for a Legally Blonde vibe with the quirky branded phrasing and had made herself a personal logo with the butterfly.

    7. LawLady*

      Clearly the candidate wasn’t great, but if she was that egregious, why DID she have to call three times before getting shut down? Did you no let her know that she wouldn’t be getting an interview? If you’re not informing people that they’re out of the running after you’ve selected someone, you are being rude.

      1. designbot*

        We got several hundred applications for the position, and were not big enough to have any automated system set up–every single one went right into my own email account. It was barely possible to even glance at all of their materials, much less actually respond to each one.
        If she had been interviewed or followed up with in any way (i.e. anything that would indicate we were at all interested) I would absolutely have followed up to let her know.

      2. designbot*

        oh, and I should mention that we hadn’t actually selected someone yet. Saying that was the equivalent of saying “I have a boyfriend” to an obnoxious guy hitting on you at a bar–I just pulled out the only thing I knew could shut it down and keep her from emailing me every two days forever.

  64. Temperance*

    During and after college, I worked at a gas station for a period of time. It wasn’t a great job. I would occasionally work very early mornings – so early that some folks were out from the night before.

    One morning, around 6:30 a.m., a man came in, clearly on hard drugs and likely drunk, and asked for an application. I gave him one, and he then asked me whether we background check (!). I lied and said yes, and he cursed under his breath and mumbled something about disclosing his felony convictions.

    He had stolen a car at gunpoint while on PCP, and had been released the week prior. (He included the part about being on PCP, which led me to connect the dots.) He was clearly violating his parole by being on drugs and out all night. So, yeah, we declined to interview him.

  65. squids*

    One of the interview questions for a student position was “Tell me about one of your biggest accomplishments or successes, at work, school, or in your personal life.” Response: “Hole in one while golfing.” I prompted to expand on that, maybe this was the result of lots of hard work and practice? Nope. Proudly explained that it was during only the third or fourth time playing, and had never happened since.
    That was one time I really wanted to give constructive interview skills feedback.

    1. Joseph*

      I actually feel like if you explained it right, “hole in one while golfing” could be an incredible answer.

      You set a goal that you wanted to achieve, took dedicated hard work, had many near-misses that taught you that sometimes things outside your control cause unexpected setbacks, how you zeroed in on driver accuracy as the main thing holding you back. And then the hole in one happened and you realized that it wasn’t really the end goal, you had to keep pushing to improve.

    2. Mel*

      You’ve got to admit though you can’t blame him for saying it. What if he said he overcame a big illness or won the lottery or is proud of being a good dad. Those are all irrelevant to work but if you ask about personal you have to expect personal

      1. SarahBee*

        The question is about accomplishments or successes. It doesn’t have to be work-related, but it does have to be relevant. It needs to demonstrate skills, attributes or abilities that ARE work-related, because this is a job interview.

  66. Megan*

    I work for the feds (science organization) and hire a lot so I’ve had some interesting ones. There was a guy who tried to circumvent the hiring process by calling me repeatedly and trying to get me to interview him on the spot.

    My favorite though was with a candidate who looked great on paper. When I called him for a pre-interview, nobody picked up so I left a brief message saying who I was, the position I was referring to, the pay grade, and asking if he’d like to hear more about it and potentially schedule an interview. About an hour later he calls back. First he asks what position this is, and the next question is how much it pays (when I had already told him in both the job announcement and in the message I left him!). I repeated the pay grade “This is for a GS-X position which is $xx,xxx/year. He then asked if that was negotiable because that’s too low for him (on a pre-interview! The second question he asks! Before he knows anything about the position!) And when I said no, he proceeded to whine to me about his student loans for a bit and then grudgingly asks, “well what would I be doing?”

    He did not get the job.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      Wow. Did he have to apply through USAJobs? Because that’s a *process* and there’s no missing the pay grade info.

  67. Catabodua*

    My “worst” story person never actually got interviewed.

    I work in a large, under-served urban city which has a high crime rate. However, it’s typical of most large cities that it really depends on where you are located as to it’s relative safety.

    We had an opening for a data entry position and had a scheduled interview. The candidate never showed up.

    HR called them to make sure that the time/date hadn’t been mistaken and the candidate said “I didn’t get out of my car – I was too afraid of all the black people hanging around the steps of the building.” HR person and I were flabbergasted.

    It was also clear the person never came near our building. Our building is in a very low crime area, and actually low population area as well. Lots of businesses in a commercial district on a very, very busy road – it’s not the kind of place where people are walking around. On top of that, our building happens to have a very high chain link fence with a security gate/guard at the entrance to the parking lot. No one is ever “hanging” around our building.

    We assumed someone in her personal life must have convinced her not to show because of how dangerous the city is perceived. But to throw in the idea that “lots of black people” were a problem was the icing on the cake for us.

    1. TeaCozy*

      If you’re on the west coast, I think I know which city you’re talking about. I lived there for a few years and whenever I told people not from the area where I lived, their eyes would get kind of big and they’d say “…oh.”

      Never mind that I love that city and made many friends there and spent more than one night out after dark alone without incident…

      1. Catabodua*

        Actually, no Bridgeport Connecticut. I should clarify that it’s the largest city in our state. People in “real” large cities might disagree that it’s large. :)

        1. BusSys*

          I live near Bridgeport, originally from out of state, and when people call Bridgeport rough, I seriously can’t help but laugh. Granted all places be they cities or the smallest of small towns have good and bad people… but Bridgeport is nowhere near as bad as its local rep would suggest.

  68. Katie the Fed*

    I was the sole female member of an interview panel and we brought in a guy who seemed to…not respect that. He interrupted me aggressively mid-sentence every time it was my turn to ask a question. One of the times he interrupted me to ask when he was going to get a chance to ask us questions (which we tell them at the beginning will be at the end). He also only looked at/spoke to the men in the room. Unfortunately for him, I was the senior panel member (wouldn’t have made a difference anyway because he was so obnoxious nobody wanted to hire him).

    1. Temperance*

      This actually happened with one of the summer interns who interviewed at my office in June. One of my superiors is male, and he was conducting a panel interview with three female attorneys. The (male) candidate would look at my superior when answering a question asked by one of the women, and would give better answers to my superior’s questions.

      My boss apparently told him that this is a *collaborative* worksplace, and we respect all people here … so he wasn’t getting the job.

      1. Trig*

        We had a summer intern who definitely addressed all of his answers to the (only) male interviewer, no matter who asked the question, and despite the fact that our (female) manager was clearly identified as the main interviewer/manager.

        He was otherwise a good candidate, and pickings were slim, so we hired him. Of course he spent the summer going to the same male team member with questions and issues and concerns that were much better suited to our manager. Including looking for career guidance and ways to transition to a marketing position/management/CEO-track (at 23, with four months of experience).

        It was frustrating, because it was never anything blatant, but he clearly thought less of women and clearly only saw our occupation as a bridge to a shinier, fancier career.

    2. rPM*

      Gah, this has happened to me too. Every time I asked the candidate a question, he turned away from me and directed his answer to my male interview partner. Completely inappropriate regardless of our roles, but especially since we’d already clarified at the beginning of the interview that I was the hiring manager and the other interviewer was one of my direct reports.

      1. Artemesia*

        A bit of a tangent. But I had a job in Kuwait after the Gulf War and I took a male grad student who was about 35 with me as my assistant and thought this might make things a little easier in a culture with such strong traditions of male dominance. I worked with a large group of their employees for three weeks and never once did anyone defer to him over me. They clearly knew who the boss was, who the higher status person was and in spite of the fact that that person was female, they always deferred to me, directed questions to me and followed my direction. Hierarchy outweighed gender.

    3. CMT*

      I interned on a team in college that was all women. They were interviewing for the next year’s interns and told me that one young man kept talking about how he would handle various work situations by using male pronouns to refer to the boss. As he was being interviewed by the 3 women he would be reporting to in this position. I don’t know if they hired him.

      1. MJ (Aotearoa/New Zealand)*

        When I was hiring for an entry-level position (and therefore getting TONS of resumes) I auto-tossed anyone who began their letter with “Dear Sir”. The management chain was female all the way up in a relatively female-heavy industry, so addressing a cover letter to “Sir” is fairly out of touch.

    4. Just Another Techie*

      I was the sole female member of an interview panel

      I haaaaate that. I had one candidate who jabbed his finger in my face during a technical interview and told me to “Stop and listen. I’m trying this and it’s going to work.” (It wasn’t going to work. He was doing the equivalent of trying to prove -1 == +1.)

      1. Pineapple Incident*

        Yikes that’s weird, and unnecessarily aggressive. I’m sure you enjoyed that rejection though!

    5. College Career Counselor*

      Something similar in the (lack of) respect arena happened to me (although I’m a guy). I told this story in an open thread awhile back, but some years ago, I was part of a panel of interviewers meeting candidates for an associate dean position that included student judicial oversight. I asked the candidate to briefly discuss “restorative justice” and how he might have applied that concept in previous work with students. Whereupon the candidate proceeded to give a very lengthy and condescending answer and then went out of his way to call me out for asking what he felt was a “gotcha” question, implying in addition that I was stupid.

      At first I thought I’d misunderstood him (no trace of condescension or arrogance to anyone else in the room), but it turns out he just didn’t like me. How do I know this? When I asked a later question, I got the same attitude (ie, you’re an idiot who asks ridiculous questions). Maybe this person was engaging in some bizarre form of interview “negging?” You know, pick one person in the room and insult them so that they’ll respect your toughness and go to bat for you?

      This person had been the early favorite of the Dean, so everyone’s feedback had to be excruciatingly diplomatic. Luckily, this was a failed search. While holding out for the perfect candidate can certainly be counter productive, sometimes it really is better not to hire anyone at all.

    6. BananaPants*

      This happened to me around a year ago. I was on a panel with two guys who I outrank quite a bit in the hierarchy, and whenever I asked a question the candidate wouldn’t look at me and his answers seemed directed at the other two employees.

      They hired him anyways and he now sits next to me and works on several of my projects. While his behavior during the interview was off-putting, I chalked it up to interview nerves since he’s never given the slightest hint of sexist behavior while actually working here. It worked out well in the end but I was NOT optimistic given his behavior in the interview.

  69. Liz in a Library*

    I think I’ve mentioned this before…but I once phone interviewed someone for a student-facing library assistant job who, when I said that we’d be following up with all applicants the next week, whether to schedule an in-person interview or let them know we were going with other applicants, assumed the former, gushingly.

    And then began calling and emailing repeatedly, the very next day. It culminated in her sending me an email with the lyrics to ‘She Works Hard for the Money,’ with my name replacing all the pronouns. We didn’t end up bringing her in because she didn’t have the experience of other applicants, and the many phone calls definitely didn’t help. I thought the email was hilarious though!

    We also had a student apply for a FWS position who had regularly complained about all the staff, violated library policies, and been kind of a bully to our other student employees. Yep, lining up to hire you…

    1. LBK*

      I would save that email to go back and read on bad days when I needed cheering up. Hilarious.

    2. Anonyhippo*

      As to your last paragraph, that’s happened to us as well. They seem to think we don’t remember their rude behavior! (Yeah, sure.)

    3. Artemesia*

      I once ran a masters program and we had an applicant from the undergraduate program I also ran who had really screwed up — ended on discipline for unethical behavior and cheating and had alienated many of his teachers (hard to do in a program that was particularly student oriented) He applied for the masters program and we turned him down. He started appealing right and left because ‘I have the scores and the grades, so you have to admit me or it is discrimination.’ Damn straight. We were discriminating against horrible people we didn’t want in the program.

  70. Anon2*

    I was recently interviewing for a marketing coordinator role on my team. The day my lead candidate was coming in for his second round interview, our recruiter sent me the application the candidate had filled out when he was in for the first round interview. We have a standard “tell us in a few brief sentences why you feel you would be the best candidate for this position” question on the application. His response was “I don’t compete, I DOMINATE. I don’t concern myself with who I’m up against because I know there’s no competition.”

    Considering I had spoken to this guy a couple of times already and this seemed really out of character, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt by point blank asking him about it. When I did, his personality did a complete 180 and he became really cocky and huffy, saying he “stood by what he wrote.” I had spent a lot of time during the phone screen talking about our firm’s collaborative, team-oriented culture and the fact that this role requires a lot of interaction with various people in the firm, especially at the senior level. So needless to say, he went from being my lead candidate to getting a “thanks but no thanks.”

  71. Nobody Here By That Name*

    This person never made it to the interview stage, but under accomplishments on their resume they listed their numerous Steam achievements unlocked from hundreds of hours of gaming. They also listed their ability to play seven instruments, including the ocarina.

    I always wondered what the other seven were, that the ocarina was the one picked to be the standout example.

    1. Joseph*

      Given the mention of Steam achievements, I’m guessing that the Ocarina was specifically called out due to its’ link with the best Zelda game.

      3. Bowserkitty*

        the Ocarina was specifically called out due to its’ link with the best Zelda game.

        HAHA I don’t know if that was an intended pun or not….

    4. Plaster*

      He probably selected it as a nerd calling card–the most famous Zelda game centres around an ocarina. (I can’t tell from your comment if you know this or not, sorry!)

      1. Nobody Here By That Name*

        Yep, the Zelda thing was my guess too. Still wonder what the other 6 are though.

  72. Catabodua*

    Oh – and the other one I have, which is much more mundane, was a woman who aggressively leaned over the desk in between us each time she answered a question. Like, went up on her elbows and sort of hovered above you.

    It may sound silly but I got really anxious with her. Like, back up, get out of my space!

    I wondered if she had been told to do this as a strategy to appear forceful or strong or something. But it just came off incredibly weird and inappropriate.

  73. afiendishthingy*

    A candidate’s resume listed one position as “Teapot Support Professional” and rather than any details about what they did in this particular role, they wrote “A Teapot Support Professional is a person who provides support to [etc]…” I thought “well that’s weird” and googled the first phrase… yep, taken directly from the wikipedia article on Teapot Support Professionals.

  74. BananaPants*

    There was the time that the candidate arrived for an interview for a senior engineering position at a Fortune 500 company wearing a filthy orange polo shirt, jeans, and a bolo tie. He arrived almost a half hour late for what was to be 3 hours of interviews, lunch, and a final hour of interviews. 15 minutes in, he started to light up a cigarette in our conference room. We informed him that the entire corporate campus was smoke-free and he said he would need a smoke break every hour once he was hired and asked if he could take smoke breaks between interviews. He had wildly overstated his previous experience and lacked all of the skills that would be needed in that role. In the following panel interview was a manager who got halfway through, decided we would never hire the guy and said, “This is not going to proceed any further, thank you for your time” and ushered him out of the building. The candidate called later and threatened a lawsuit for age discrimination!

    2. Rebecca in Dallas*

      Haha, like an IRL Dale Gribble!

      “Oh, there’s no smoking at Stik Tech.”

    3. OhNo*

      I know fashion sense differs greatly between people, but.. an orange polo and a bolo tie? Even if it had been clean and he’d paired it with the nicest pair of slacks imaginable, that still would have raised some serious eyebrows at every job I’ve ever had.

      No matter how casual the attire on the job, common sense seems to dictate that button up + regular tie is the safest interview attire.

    4. Artemesia*

      One of our worst candidates (not in qualifications which were in the ballpark but in behavior, creepy email handle, and previous work elsewhere in the organization) also threatened to file lawsuits over age discrimination. Since the person we hired was a 56 year old woman and the person hired before that in the same type role was a 60 year old man, we were not too worried about this.

  75. Anonymoosetracks*

    Ooh, this isn’t like an all-time winner or anything, but we fairly recently had the most defensive cover letter ever. I am paraphrasing here because I’m not comfortable quoting it, but it was basically along the lines of “I know you’re going to think that I lack the qualifications for this position because I didn’t go to [top schools] or have [top grades]. But I have what all those applicants don’t have, which is real experience in the field.”

    We’re not hiring elitists at all and often hire people who have relevant experience in the field even if they didn’t go to top schools or get top grades. This guy did not actually have any experience in the field.

  76. some1*

    I was the bad candidate here. I lost my job and decided to cancel my home internet service to save money. So I would search for jobs on my phone, email them to myself, and once a day or every other day I would go to the library or a friend’s house and apply for jobs from s desktop computer.

    I was getting job interviews on the regular, and went to one that I thought was for a permanent position, but it turned out to be a temp position. However, I was still willing to consider it if I didn’t get a permanent offer somewhere else. They ended up making me an offer that evening, and I told them I would need a couple days to consider. I emailed the other hiring managers at other places I had interviewed that (as far as I knew) were still considering me. Because of time constraint, I emailed from my phone and cut and paste the email saying I had received another offer but was still interested in them; that I realized they may not be ready to make a hiring decision but if so I’d like to talk. Well, I forgot to change the names and companies when I cut & pasted, so four hiring managers got an email with their name & employer wrong. Worse, I’m an admin & supposed to send out *accurate* emails in the course of my work. I still cringe when I think about.

    Obviously, none of the hiring managers made an offer, but it was a blessing in disguise because the temp position turned into a great perm job.

  77. afiendishthingy*

    I also had an applicant who wrote on the application to explain an employment gap “I’ve been a stay at home mom for awhile which has its own challenges lol”

    I was like, SMH.

    2. Rusty Shackelford*

      I got a call from a woman who wanted to do some contract work for me, and unprompted she told me she’d left her full time job because “I’m just TOO FERTILE, HA HA HA!” I guess she assumed that since we were both women, we’d bond over this unplanned pregnancy experience. I was in the midst of fertility treatments and did not laugh.

      1. orchidsandtea*

        Yeah. That is not a universal experience, Fertile Myrtle. (Sorry, Rusty — that stings.)

  78. Gene*

    This is fresh in my mind after yesterday. I haven’t read the thread yet, but I’m sure it pales in comparison to some of the others. I’ve talked in Work Open Threads about the drawn out process to replace the employee who died in February ’15.

    Yesterday we had 4 applicants scheduled for oral panels – this is Civil Service hiring, so everyone goes through the process. All four were from out of state, so travel was involved. The night before, HR got an email from the one scheduled for third saying she wouldn’t be there for her interview. Less than 24 hr notice, but OK(ish). First applicant went through the practical test, then panel. Second applicant was a no show. Since there was now a 2 hour gap in the schedule, HR Dude called the one scheduled last to give him the option of coming in anytime, no answer, so he left VM. No reply, then two hours later – no show.

    Every one of these people confirmed a scheduled time to come in, all four would have had to travel from out of state (I’m in WA, applicants were from CA, NV, CO, and AZ), so it wasn’t just waking up and deciding not to go.

    The one who showed wasn’t a shoo-in applicant, so, while he’ll be certified by Civil Service Board next week, we’ll be figuring out what we want to do to fill the position.

    The good news, now we don’t have to worry about someone starting while only one of us is here…

  79. CM*

    I had somebody who:
    – Bragged about all his great experience at his last job and then in the next breath said that his last job was beneath him because they had him doing menial work that somebody without his degree/certification could easily do
    – Said that he was smarter than the executives at his last job and they didn’t know what they were doing, and he could do their job better
    – Said that he was better at IT than the IT guys at his last job, and detailed the months he had spent haranguing them to change stuff that he disagreed with (but in his view, it was a righteous crusade)

    And he couldn’t figure out why, despite his solid credentials and the fact that he was a genuinely smart and hardworking guy, he had been out of work for so long. :( I still wonder if I should have given him some feedback afterwards… on one hand maybe it would have been helpful, but I wasn’t confident that he would react well.

  80. Anonsydance*

    Oh man…we just finished a round of hiring – new guy starts on the 8th.

    New guy is replacing someone, Peter, who was with us for 6 months. During that round of hiring, there weren’t any real outrageous ones. Peter was the best, even though his work history had a few holes and what jobs he did have were all over the eastern coast. He was relocating from about 2 hours away and there was no relocation package included in his offer. So, after the offer was made and he accepted but before he officially started, he was trying to get a car, but for some reason they were denying him and wouldn’t let him get the car right away. So, naturally, we had to pay for a rental car for him and put it on our company card. It did not go over too well when I told him no and I put him on the phone with our manager who also told him no. At this point, we probably should have just said never mind. He never got an apartment (we live in New England), slept out of his car that he was able to get eventually or stayed at a hotel/motel every once in a while because all landlords are slum lords. He would have these epic meltdowns because of minor problems, usually his own fault (like saving something to the wrong folder). He flipped out at me because a customer wanted to see specific drawings of teapots for a quote and he didn’t comply fully with their requests. He would also say some pretty outrageously offensive stuff, especially racist stuff against Latinos. Half of our teapot assemblers are Latino and some speak very little English. I was legitimately afraid of him and interacted as little as possible.

    This round of hiring has produced some interesting things, like one girl applied to us saying how excited she was to work at our law firm. We are not a law firm. Another guy sent us a resume that actually had his picture on it and told us why he left each job.

    The guy we are hiring was also interesting. His cover letter and resume were fine, so that was great. It was the email he sent us where he opened with “Hey Guys.” He’s young so hopefully he’ll be friendly and not sad.

      1. Anonsydance*

        The fear came after he was an employee. But still, not good. I wish we got rid of him before he quit. He was hired on to put teapots into production but he ended up only doing teapot estimates and still wanted a raise at his review. And when he didn’t get the raise, he put his two weeks in. That was like on a Tuesday. Boss had him leave that Friday. So thankful.

  81. Anon Moose*

    We had a candidate who was pretty qualified but for their writing sample submitted an academic paper analyzing video games. To be fair, it was an academically published article, and the writing was ok, but it was not relevant to the job at all.

    1. Oxford Comma*

      This raises a question that I’ve grappled with. I have applied for jobs that ask for a writing sample, and I usually submit a already-written paper that is likely not really relevant to anything, per se. How directly relevant *should* a writing sample be? The requests often lack have explicit guidelines, so I always wonder this.

      The other thing I wonder about is length–most of my available samples are lengthy, but if I truncate it will be at the expense of context.

      1. Anon Moose*

        I’ve only done a few hiring things with not a huge pool of candidates. Honestly, I don’t read more than a page or so usually. Sometimes I skim for typos if I start noticing more than a few. A shorter piece or an excerpt will usually get read more fully, particularly for the kind of job I’ve hired for (see below). And especially if the content isn’t super relevant to the job and you just want to show you can write … well then I would say truncate it to max 4-5 pages and perhaps note that its a portion or an excerpt? If they have questions they can always ask for followup in an interview or further email right?

    2. costume teapot*

      I’m noticing a trend here about people submitting off-topic writing samples for jobs and folks being surprised by this. Is the expectation that someone will have a perfectly on-point writing sample for whatever job? Would it be better to submit a non-published article that is on topic, or a published article that is not but is still acceptable otherwise? I’m genuinely curious.

        1. Megs*

          I’d be curious to know the specific fields and instructions given for those writing samples. I would guess that would go a long way to clarify when an off-topic sample is appropriate. In my field (law), for example, you would almost never want to submit anything not legal related. In journalism or marketing I could see wanting something in their format and general subject matter assuming prior experience is a requirement. I wouldn’t think an applicant for an experienced sports writer job would want to submit an academic article on roses, for example.

        2. starsaphire*

          I know I’m a day late responding here, but…

          I’m in tech, and with the writing samples that get me interviews, the topic isn’t as important as the formatting. I need to show that I know how to effectively organize information, use bullets and numbering correctly, create tables and figures with callouts, etc. Academic papers, as a rule, don’t tend to require numbered active-verb-first steps. :)

          Usually, I sample from actual paid (non-proprietary) work I have done. Of course I go in and change identifying details, and explain that it’s a three-page excerpt from one procedure in a manual of 50 or more, which is pretty much what they want to see.

          But in a pinch, I have even submitted recipes and gotten good responses. For the job I have now, one of my writing samples (the one I had to write on the fly) was instructions for handmade chocolate truffles. (I now have to find time to make them and bring them in, because chocolate, and the hiring team still asks…)

      2. Anon Moose*

        Hmm. Perhaps I should punt this to someone more experienced with hiring generally, because the answer is probably “depends on the job” and “depends on the employer.”
        In the positions I’ve hired for, writing is a big part of the job and the sample we like to see show communications writing experience- blogs, articles, press releases, fact sheets, newsletters- or technical stuff like grants. Even detailed reports or memos. Oftentimes, an academic paper style-wise is not that helpful to understand how you’d write in the workplace in the field. A creative writing sample would also not be helpful for this job. For some other jobs, they absolutely could be. We do of course, understand that not all people may have this kind of sample, particularly recent grads (seriously though, if you have anything you’ve written at a job or internship email it to yourself and take out or redact the private info if necessary.)
        That wasn’t the case with this particular candidate from what we could tell (candidate was also nixed for unrelated reasons- though my boss raised her eyebrows at the writing sample. Not me- actually I read it all because I thought it was interesting personally.) My boss is also pretty picky about writing samples in general, and that may not be the case across industries and employers. We’ve also not moved people forward when they don’t submit a sample when its asked for, so a not relevant academic paper is way better than nothing in this case.
        TL:DR I guess I’d say as relevant to the field as you can get, or as close to the kind of writing mentioned in the job description you can get, but overall submit the best you can. And proofread it! Would they care if its published vs. relevant? I’d say for my non-academic field with non-academic writing something relevant would be better.

        1. Oxford Comma*

          All fair points, and I appreciate the response.

          I do like it when I’m asked to write a sample between phone and in person. The last interview I went on, I was asked to write a 2 page essay on the org’s mission generally and how I would contribute to it personally. It was a fairly low cost exercise (it took maybe 2-3 hours including research, but I’m an over thinker and it probably could have been done in an hour), gave them a sense of my writing on an “even playing field” with the other candidates, and focused my thinking with respect to the position.

        2. Elizabeth West*

          Ah okay, this is what I was thinking but wasn’t sure about. Thanks!

          I did what Oxford Comma did to get this job–we had to do an editing test after the applications were received (and presumably screened). I spent more time on mine and nailed it. :)

        3. costume teapot*

          Valuable context, thanks!

          In certain areas of my industry it’s not always common to have appropriate writing samples, but I hate the idea of sending a sample that is 2-3 years old. I’m actually in the process of writing something totally new from scratch just to use for apps but…this question nags at me a lot. :)

          1. Anon Moose*

            Right- I guess when I thought about it more… writing samples can be good, neutral, or hurt you. Good: Relevant to the position/ style/ shows some knowledge of the industry or topic or kind of norms expected. BUT you can’t always be sure about what that will look like to the employer because its semi-subjective. So if you’re unsure better to go with neutral: a high quality sample (or I have also seen several short samples) that showcases your writing, even if its not completely relevant to the job/industry. Even if its not relevant, if its proofread well and professionally appropriate it probably won’t hurt you. You don’t want Bad: something that would read as a out of left field. Again, its subjective. For this job, video games raised eyebrows with the older generation in a way that a different academic paper on education policy didn’t. If we were a more tech savvy or company that skews younger, it might not raise any or even be a plus. But stuff like fanfic or poetry or other examples above- not only is that not relevant, it can communicate you’re wildly unfamiliar with professional norms. So I’d pick something high quality and uncontroversial for all EXCEPT if its super relevant. And if you don’t have something in the style you want, you can write up a sample specifically for applying for jobs.

    3. Noah*

      I don’t understand. Did you ask for a writing sample or did you ask for a writing sample on a topic that is related to the job? If you asked for the former, it’s your fault. If you ask for the latter, you’re going to cut your applicant pool significantly, which may be good or bad.

  82. CenTX Anon*

    During general small talk comparing levels of traffic in various cities (LA, Houston, etc), candidate cheerfully told me that they had road rage issues and kept a gun in their car.

    They ended up not getting hired for other, more ordinary reasons, but the look on my boss’s face when I told him what they’d said was priceless.

  83. Qmatilda*

    Ah law firm interviews:
    1) had a candidate come in with glitter on her face and a nearly transparent top. And this was during the downturn. My firm had a very strong belief in having people with real world experience and she came from a social welfare attorney background but really.

    2) Had a guy who did ok to fine during the interview and then I was assigned to give him the tour around the firm. He waits until we are waiting for the elevator to ask, “Did I do ok?” Dude, this is still part of the interview.

    3) Guy who talked non-stop about his band during the interview. Yes, law interviews are way more casual as far as questions asked, this however was over the top.

    4) Oh the guy at the diversity hiring fair who tried to claim being a diversity candidate because he lived in Spain as a child (some not close relative was vaguely Spanish) It was amazing. His resume and background read about as privileged and white upper class as possible in my city.

    1. bridget*

      Re: #4, that reminds me of when Jack’s going to be vetted for a big position and his private detective tells him he has to resign from his all-white country club. Jack: “What about Juan Carlos? He’s ethnic.” Len: “He’s the king of Spain, Jack. I don’t think that counts.”

      1. bridget*

        Ahem, I meant to say Jack on 30 Rock. I sometimes forget not every conversation is not always on the topic of how much I love 30 Rock.

    2. Snarkus Aurelius*

      4) I understand that people from Spain are Hispanic, but white European doesn’t count as diverse in this context. But nice effort on that technicality.

      1. SusanIvanova*

        I knew a guy in college whose parents were Spanish immigrants, and he kept having to make that point to the college’s diversity advocates – no, he was a middle-class white kid, give the help to someone who needs it!

      2. alice*

        Every person I’ve ever met from Spain considers themselves a white European. I wonder if some people check the Hispanic box so to speak to get some extra attention or something.

        1. Van Wilder*

          I recently learned that “Hispanic” includes Spain but not Brazil (refers to language) and “Latino” includes Brazil but not Spain (refers to geography).

          2. Liz*

            I recently learned that “Hispanic” includes Spain

            Maybe in the U.S., but I’ve never yet met a Spaniard who would agree!

      3. Van Wilder*

        My ex’s father told him to check the box for Hispanic on his college applications because their family was from Portugal. Not Hispanic.

      4. BananaPants*

        I went to college with a white guy whose family emigrated from South Africa when he was in his early teens. He checked the box for “African American”, joined the African American Student Union, etc. because he insisted he was LITERALLY African-American. He seemed to enjoy the surprise when a white guy with a faint accent showed up for interviews or meetings.

        I get being proud of where you come from and he was literally from Africa, but in that context people/organizations are looking for ethnicity, not national origin.

        1. Noah*

          What if you are a black person who lives in Africa and is applying for college in the U.S.? He or she is not African-American in any sense of the word. Or what about a black African immigrant to the U.S. who is not a citizen. Not African American. If you’re going to call people out on technicalities, you need to consider other possible consequences of depending on technicalities. That’s why most universities are perfectly willing to consider a white person from Africa to be African Americans.

          Also, consider that the person you knew was perhaps actually part black, passing, and did not want to admit he was passing.

          1. AW*

            What if you are a black person who lives in Africa and is applying for college in the U.S.? He or she is not African-American in any sense of the word. Or what about a black African immigrant to the U.S. who is not a citizen. Not African American.

            Right, they’re not African American. You wouldn’t go to Nigeria and call everyone there an African-American. Nor do they refer to themselves as African-American the second they set foot in America. That’s not how that works. Universities absolutely should not be considering white people from South Africa as African-American.

          2. smthing*

            I have run diversity programs for university STEM (such as LSAMP), and we would absolutely consider black candidates from African countries as long as they were otherwise eligible. For most federally funded programs, that meant they had to be permanent residents or naturalized citizens and not on a student visa.

    3. BabyAttorney*

      #2 reminds me oddly of the time I interviewed with a small-but-growing firm downtown where the founding partner told me he never hires people from “that” law school (mine) and generally only likes people from his alma mater.

      Excuse me? Why did you just waste like 3 hours of my time? He had already given me a terrible impression by being an hour and a half late to the interview himself…but that really cinched it.

    4. Rusty Shackelford*

      Oh the guy at the diversity hiring fair who tried to claim being a diversity candidate because he lived in Spain as a child

      Hmmm. I’ve eaten at Taco Bell…

  84. bureaucrat#3*

    I’m not sure if this counts, because this was an applicant for an internal job (so he already worked with us), but a former peer of mine started off his interview for an internal promotion with some light chit chat about the results of his fertility testing, including the process for obtaining the sample and how proud he was that “his boys could swim.” This was in front of a 5 person interview panel that included his current manager, a couple of executive directors, and our CEO equivalent.

    Obviously he did not get the promotion.

  85. pgrmmgr*

    I recently had a candidate who looked reasonably good on paper for an open position. He came to a public event at my office (that required preregistration, which he did not do), and cornered me after the event asking for an update on the hiring process. I informed him that we had filled the position (the offer letter had only gone out a few days earlier, so I don’t feel bad that he wasn’t informed that the position was no longer open). His response: “Dammit. I was perfect for that position. Do you have another job open for me?” in an adversarial tone. Completely confirmed my suspicions that he would not be a great member of our team – he’s active in local social media and I’m confident I would not want him to represent our services to the public.

  86. Winter is here*

    I once interviewed a man and when I asked why he was looking to move from his current position his response was “I work with my live in girlfriend and she has said I’ve got to find a new job” When prompted as to why she felt that way he said “well I slept with a couple of girls in the office and she’s said if I don’t move jobs she’s moving out” erm…..

    Same interview he was asked how his current manager would describe him and he said “well we had a bit of a run in recently about this gay guy in my team. I told her I wouldn’t work with him because he clearly fancied me and you know I’m really worried about catching AIDS. My manager was really unhappy with my concern so we had a run in about that so I think she’d describe me as a pain in the butt”

    I can’t believe that someone would not only say or do these things in a civilized society but i struggle even more to believe that you’d be OK disclosing this behavior in an interview situation! After the fact the recruitment agency followed up with him and asked what he was thinking he said “She put me at such ease I forgot I was in an interview” This was only 2 of the 6 or 7 major issues with this guy and he was actually a really strong contender from the phone screen.

    2. Feo Takahari*

      I don’t think I could keep the interview going after the AIDS remark. I would have to ask him to leave right then and there.

  87. Rusty Shackelford*

    Many years ago, I was part of a group that interviewed a candidate whose previous experience was working at a JC Penney catalog desk. For those of you on the young side, it used to be that when you ordered anything from JC Penney, it was shipped to a store and you had to go pick it up at the catalog desk. We asked about a time when dealt with an unhappy customer, and she said it was near Christmas, and there was a crazy long line at the catalog desk, and she was the only one on duty, and all the customers were grumbling and obviously unhappy. She announced to the line that she wasn’t happy about it either, and they were all just going to have to deal with it. And since they stopped grumbling and stayed there and dealt with it, she considered it a success.

    After the interview, one of the other interviewers pointed out that her strategy *did* work, since the customers stayed. And I pointed out that it was the freaking JC Penney catalog desk. They literally had no other way to get the things they had ordered. It’s like claiming the DMV must be awesome because everybody goes there.

    1. Not the Droid You are Looking For*

      It’s like claiming the DMV must be awesome because everybody goes there.

      This is my new favorite simile. I’m totally stealing it!

    2. Anon Moose*

      Yeah, but the DMV being awful or the lines at Christmas being long is not necessarily the fault of the workers, who are often just as caught up in the bad situation as the customers are.Not a great story to showcase customer service I guess, but… what would you have done in the situation? Sounds like there wasn’t an alternative for the worker either.

      1. Lycheese*

        Pick a different story! The problem with this isn’t how they handled the situation, it’s offering it up as an example of successful customer service. It may well have been all that they could do in that situation, but you do NOT present that as an example of how you successfully handled an unhappy customer. There HAD to have been better examples they could have used. And if there weren’t, that tells you plenty about this candidate!

      2. motherofdragons*

        One alternative is to thank the customers for their patience, not tell them to “deal with it.”

        1. Rusty Shackelford*

          Bingo. You apologize, you ask a manager if it’s possible to get help, you make it the best experience you can for the customer. You do not point out that you are also miserable and basically tell them to screw themselves.

        2. catsAreCool*

          Yeah. A lot of people are pretty nice if they can tell you’re doing your best to help everyone, even if they do have to wait.

  88. TheCupcakeCounter*

    I was interviewing HS students for lifeguard positions for the after school pool program (I was also an instructor so interested students would receive the appropriate training). I asked most of the kids why they were interested in the position and in general I got good answers. One of my applicants though had a response that completely threw me. She thought it would be the best way to learn how to swim. I asked for clarification since several of the other students had indicated a desired to improve their stroke technique or start a swim program to improve their conditioning for other sports but nope – she couldn’t swim at all. Since this was my first time hiring for anything and the school had swimming as part of their PE program beginning in 2nd grade I was under the assumption that the students that applied had sufficient swimming skills. I was wrong and quickly learned that step one of hiring lifeguards is to make them take a swim test. That took my applicant pool from 50 down to 8 and made it much easier. I made sure the school made note of the required swim test in the advert for the next school year.

    1. AnotherAlison*

      That’s really weird. I was on the swim team for 4 years in high school and grew up water skiing, but never lifeguarded because the thought of having to rescue someone from the deep end made me nervous. I can’t imagine someone who can’t swim at all thinking that it’s a good idea. Maybe if you don’t have experience around water at all, you have no idea what a lifeguard actually does (other than sit in the chair and get a tan).

      1. Kelly L.*

        Probably pushed into applying by their parents. I got the same push, though I ended up working in bathhouse and concessions rather than as a lifeguard; the positions with the city park were considered good summer work for teens. You’d get paid beans, but the jobs neatly fit opposite the school year, you weren’t working late at night, etc.

      2. Clewgarnet*

        I can barely swim, but have somehow managed to rescue two people over the years. It’s amazing what you can do when you have to.

    2. Lemon Zinger*

      I was a lifeguard for several years when I was young. The swimming/brick-diving requirements were heavily emphasized in the application!

      1. Grumpy*

        Same. We had to tread water holding that stupid brick for 10 minutes to simulate holding a casualty waiting for an ambulance to show up. I now realize they were just f’cking with us for their own amusement.

        1. Megs*

          I worked one summer at a camp where all staff had to do the swimming test to see who could support the lifeguards in an emergency. During my treading water portion the head lifeguard took the opportunity to tell me off for spreading gossip about her (I hadn’t) and kept me in the water way longer than she was supposed to. Thankfully I wasn’t holding a brick!

      2. calonkat*

        Our city pool was the only pool in town. You had to have your Red Cross lifeguard certification (which you could obtain/renew at that pool in the first part of the summer if needed) to work as a lifeguard.

    4. BananaPants*

      Before I could start my lifeguard training class, I had to swim a certain distance (I think it was 400 yards, which was no biggie since I was a competitive swimmer), tread water for 2 minutes, and dive down to the bottom in the deep end to retrieve a 10 pound brick. For fun, during my test I did the brick retrieval followed by my 2 minutes of treading while holding the brick over my head. :D Ah, youth.

      Our YMCA and parks & rec department only hired lifeguards who were already certified, so they didn’t bother with a swim test. Virtually all of the guards were on the high school or YMCA/USS swim teams; lifeguarding seemed to be THE summer job for swimmers.

    5. CanadianKat*

      Tell me that was 30 years ago!

      I was rather hoping the lifeguards at the beach and pool know not only how to swim, but how to actually rescue people, with professional training. Just swimming is not enough! Somebody who is drowning may instinctively try to pull the rescuer underwater. Also, swimming with a non-swimming weight is a whole separate challenge. (I can swim reasonably well, but I tried swimming with my toddler in one arm, – nope, can’t do it, can only walk.)

  89. Newish Reader*

    I work at a university and many higher-level positions have a full day (or more) interview schedule that include open forum type sessions. One internal candidate, with full knowledge that the position’s supervisor was in the room, answered a question by relating how she had previously circumvented a policy she didn’t agree with – specifically, a policy the position’s supervisor enacted. Way to make a good impression!

  90. cataloger*

    I interviewed a 17-year-old candidate for a student job at the university, and her dad came with her to the interview. He must have insisted, because she was mortified and kept rolling her eyes, saying “DAD!!” whenever he’d interject with a question, or prompt her to tell me specific things. (I did hire her anyway, and she was great.)

    1. Trig*

      OH MY GOD accompanied her INTO the interview, not just TO it?! Ultimate Dad move! She must have been so mortified.

      1. cataloger*

        I think he was unsure about her having a job, so was making sure she was asking all the right questions about paperwork/payroll, and also sizing up the situation: making sure it was a real job and that I seemed like a safe person. (In retrospect, I’m glad we had a fixed salary for students and didn’t give anyone an opportunity to negotiate!)

    2. SL #2*

      Can you explain why you ended up hiring her anyway? Was it because it seemed like Dad coming along wasn’t the student’s idea at all? Did she blow you away despite her father sitting right next her and prompting her to answer questions a certain way??? Because this would be a deal-breaker for most employers, whether or not they’re hiring students.

      1. cataloger*

        Our interview process didn’t give much opportunity for applicants to blow us away, unfortunately; it was mainly a tour of the department while describing the project they’d be working on, with opportunities for them to ask questions along the way. It was more about gauging their interest, and we usually offered them the job on the spot. I was very new in that department, and at hiring, and that’s how we did it there!

        Also, we had to hire about a dozen students, so I was not so much looking for “the best” applicants, just looking for ones that seemed like they could do the work. I expect this explains why many of our hires were excellent (surprisingly many, really!), while others unexpectedly quit (no call/no show) right after training.

        She pointedly ignored Dad’s prompts (he did quiet down), asked good questions, and seemed interested, so we hired her as part of a big group.

        1. SL #2*

          Well, I’m really glad it all worked out for her and for you! I can definitely imagine scenarios where she would’ve been rejected on the spot because of her dad’s presence.

    3. Matilda*

      We had a teen who was recently hired for a position bring their father to the initial job orientation. I’m hoping this was at the parent’s insistence…

    4. Stefanie*

      Couldn’t you kick the dad out? “If you want your daughter to have a fair shot, you need to leave.”

      1. cataloger*

        I could have, and probably should have. I was caught off-guard, and the interview was fairly brief and informal, so didn’t turn out to be too awkward (at least not for too long). She may have even been the first person I interviewed, so I found myself planning what I’d do if it happened again with other students. (It didn’t.)

    6. T3k*

      God, this reminded me of my first internship. I didn’t have a car at the time for the interview, so my mom had to drive me. It was a small office, so we parked right near the entrance and as I got out to go in, my mom also got out (note, I was 22, so more than capable of handling myself). I seriously wanted to go “what are you doing?!” when I realized she’d followed me inside but the front desk person was right there. Thankfully, the owner wasn’t in at the time (she was notorious for not showing up on time) so we came back an hour later, and this time I was able to go “don’t follow me inside!” before I got out of the vehicle again.

  91. peanut butter kisses*

    We have students come in for our on campus job and decide that the had an hour to kill and just present themselves for their interview at the time they choose instead of the one that has already been set up and previously agreed to.

    1. Not Karen*

      Reminds me of the time I came in for an interview for a student job and halfway through the interviewer revealed she assumed I was the previously scheduled candidate, showing up half an hour late for the interview. For some reason this candidate was the one that got hired.

  92. Person of Interest*

    I think I’ve mentioned this one before, but I once interviewed a woman for an executive position, who sounded totally normal on the phone so I brought her in for an interview with rest of the senior leadership, including my boss, the CEO. She was completely manic and off the rails, but the worst part was her many ignorantly racist comments. Then she told us it was okay to say these things because her boyfriend was black and she (white woman) hung out with black people all the time. Yikes. I was so mortified and my boss was pissed off – I had to swear up and down that she had seemed great on the phone!

    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      You would think that people in general understand that there’s never any reason to use the phrase “the blacks” in a job interview. And you would be mistaken. :-(

  93. Leatherwings*

    I have a few!
    -I had was interviewing a candidate for a fundraising position. I asked him to tell me about his previous fundraising experience. This 22 year old human told me about how he sold candy in second grade to fundraise for the school, but he didn’t earn enough to receive a prize but he did “get a few buyers.” I felt bad for him, but also astonished.

    -I also used to hire entry level candidates for CSR position. One of the standard questions I had to ask was the standard “tell me about your greatest strengths” and he responded “Campin, huntin, fishin and fightin”

    -Same job as above, a candidate had previously worked for a rival company but left. I asked why. It was because she had punched someone at work, but as long as she sitting next to individuals that didn’t make her angry she thought she could handle coming to work. Big of her.

    1. Trig*

      I wonder if the ‘greatest strength’ should explicitly be ‘greatest work-related strength’. I mean, it should go without saying, but the number of people who respond with entirely unrelated things is surprising.

      1. LD*

        Yes, why do so many people think that interviewers are asking for personal examples. It’s a job interview, not a date. I have done coaching for interviewing skills and done mock interviews to help people prepare. In response to “Tell me about a time you overcame a difficult situation”, the individual burst into tears…she was thinking of a still painful personal situation. So that was a coaching opportunity, to help her think of several Work-related responses to those common questions. Now when I coach people, I remind them, every answer needs to be work-related, otherwise, it’s a toss up!

        1. Leatherwings*

          Oh, I totally think interviewers should be more specific in asking that question (I hate the question anyways, I think there are better ways to ask it).
          Unfortunately it was one of those things where I had to follow a strict script. I was allowed to ask my own questions but HAD to hit this certain list of pre-set questions exactly how they were written.

        2. Trig*

          To be fair (to me, ha!), sometimes a personal example is all you have. I used a conflict I’ve had on a rec sports team as an answer to the difficult situation question. It was for my first non-service industry job, and the only issue I’d had with coworkers in the past was over which radio station to play in the store… so I didn’t really have anything work-related.

          But I knew enough to explain it in a way that made it clear that I handle disagreements by trying to talk it out, seeing it from both sides, not getting angry, etc, and how that translates to an office environment.

          Even now, four years later, I haven’t had a serious conflict with anyone in my workplace. But there are a few minor ‘we disagreed about something so we talked it out’ situations I can draw from.

          1. Leatherwings*

            Totally. I just don’t suggest using an example from second grade that also includes the phrase “I wasn’t very good at it”

    2. GigglyPuff*

      I totally admit, one of my fun stories to tell is when I was in Girl Scouts, like 8 years old. My parents were very much into you have to sell the cookies, my dad was a manager so I wasn’t allowed to go to his office. My mom would drive me around and wait in the car.
      But one year, I had the idea to go to my grandmother’s condo community. Eight floors and two buildings of elderly people who never saw their grandkids. I raked in all the prizes that year.

      Never use it in a job interview though, lol

      2. Isabel*

        I actually think that answer could work in an interview. “My passion for fundraising began when….”

    4. AnotherAlison*

      Giggling at the first one. . .those campus career advisors need to tell students that it’s okay to say you don’t have experience in X, but your experience in Y and Z translates, or you’re a fast learner or whatever. Anything but reach back into elementary school experience.

      The second one just gets the one Luke Bryan song that I can’t stand stuck in my head. Thanks a lot. . .Huntin’. . .fishin’. . .lovin’ everyday. . .

  94. Kelly L.*

    Probably told this story before.

    It was bad behavior before applying, rather than after. Sandwich shop, early 00’s. This couple came in, ordered, were belligerent all through the ordering process, were belligerent the whole time they were paying, and then the wife capped it off with “This is the RUDEST service I’ve EVER had” and a rant in that vein for several minutes.

    And then after they ate, she came up and asked for an application, perfectly politely, and applied.

    To this day, I’m not sure whether she thought we had just forgotten the outburst (even though it was only about 20 minutes later and she’d been sitting in the store the whole time), or whether she hated the service so much that she was like “I can do better than that!”

      1. Kelly L.*

        Internal amusement, mostly. The owner had overheard the entire drama and was never going to hire her anyway.

    2. Me2*

      I used to own a small home decor store and had to banish a customer because she stole from us on several occasions. She came back in and as I was escorting her to the door she had the audacity to ask me if I was hiring.

    3. some1*

      My guess is she assumed the lowly sandwich maker/cashier wasn’t the decision maker so it didn’t matter.

      1. Kelly L.*

        Probably. The owner was actually there the whole time, but he looked extremely young for his age and is really short, so people usually thought he was a random kid.

  95. Librarosaurus*

    I just interviewed someone for a position this month who managed to refer to the size of her breasts twice during her interview. Which is twice more than I’m generally looking for for this kind of thing. Breast size isn’t a major factor in library positions, generally.

    I also interviewed someone a couple of years ago who would lick the entire area around her month between all her sentences. Imagine someone licking their lips, but with full tongue extension. Gross.

    2. Chinook*

      Obviously she missed the memo (thank goodness) that in an interview, it is best to show and not tell.

  96. Anonyhippo*

    The one I remember is back when we were attempting to hire a office worker. We always received a ton of applications for that type of position. Company tradition was that when applicants applied in person, when they turned in the application, I’d pull them into my office and have them do a short (timed, but generously so) screening test, then give a preliminary interview.

    This particular candidate totally bombed the screening test and it was obvious that due to her inability to read, follow written directions, and answer simple questions that this would not be a job she could handle. I went ahead and gave her a shortened version of the screening interview, as usual.

    At the end of the interview, I thanked her for her time and told her I’d be in contact with her within a week or two to let her know, I stood up to usher her out of my office. She then pulled out a bottle of perfume (no box) and shoved it at me. She told me it was for me, that she really wanted the job! I thanked her, but said I was not allowed to accept gifts and repeated my closing sentence thanking her for her time and telling her we’d let her know. She kept attempting to force me to accept the perfume bottle, then broke down sobbing that she really needed this job because of financial reasons (with details). This went on about five minutes with the perfume bottle, the crying and the attempted gift. Finally, I was able to get her up out of the chair and walked her to the exit.

    I was pretty freaked by that point and had to go hide in the restroom to talk myself down.

  97. EddieSherbert*

    When I was at a café, we had a car full of teenagers go through the Drive Thru to “order” job applications…. like the driver said “Hi, yes, I’d like to order three job applications, please” while his friends just guffawed in the background.

    When they pulled around I chatted a bit, and asked “Why did you think it was a good idea to go through the drive-thru?” I just got a blank stare and then some version of “well, it was here, so… you know.”

    Awkward!

    Anyways, I got their names and told my manager to toss their applications when (if) they brought them back.

    1. CheeryO*

      This happened ALL the time when I worked at Tim Hortons. We’d hand them out, because otherwise it would inevitably turn into an argument and hold up the line, but someone would inconspicuously mark them first, and they’d go straight in the trash when they came back.

  98. Matilda*

    I work with teen volunteers and I had one volunteer who did the actual volunteer work just fine, was rather high maintenance and always asking for things to be readjusted for her. However, I did have one major incident where her and her sister, took turns signing in for each other on their volunteer sheet for two weeks (so they could each get credit for two weeks, but only each have to work one). When they got caught they did apologize and I did let them continue volunteering (under the condition that if anything like that happened again they would be asked to leave and not asked back for any subsequent volunteer sessions). About a year later this volunteer applied for a job opening at the library and asks me to be a reference for her. I let her know she could put me down and I would verify she volunteered, but I would have to disclose the volunteering-sign-in incident and she may want to use a stronger reference. Well apparently she didn’t wait for me to reply before submitting her application and our HR person came to talk to me about her. She did not get an interview.

  99. HistoryCheck*

    I was interviewing a candidate with a colleague for a part-time position as an education guide in a museum. The candidate was a man who had a solid work history and a history degree, but was currently working in the shoe department of Sears. (We got people in our museum education positions often than were trying to change careers, break into the museum field, or looking for something to supplement other work.) I asked him something about how he would use his work experience in this position. His response: Well I really just love feet. And ladies, well ladies are just drawn to me. I mean, you two know. I can tell you are drawn to me.

    Next candidate!

      1. Tour Lady*

        Ooh, I had an interviewee like that. I asked him how his former manager would describe him and he said “That I have a great smile!” and proceeded to give me the cheesiest “sexy” grin. Ugh!

    2. So Very Anonymous*

      (slowly draws feet under chair and out of creeeeeeepy foot guy’s line of vision…)

    3. Afiendishthingy*

      From all of us at the Museum of Feminist Podiatry, welcome to the team, Stanley!

  100. INTP*

    My collection…

    1. Guy arrived two hours early to our small company. I believe he had quite the commute and had to cross the border for the interview (San Diego), but there were loads of places in our office park where he could have waited, including cheap air conditioned restaurants (Subway, etc) and free seating outdoors. While in our lobby waiting for two hours, he fell asleep. The C-level offices were right next to the lobby, so this was NOT unnoticed.

    2. My coworker contacted a guy on LinkedIn about a technical writer position. He responded back that he WAS interested. However, the company would have to agree to a number of technical requirements for his computer setup…because he had pled guilty to possession of child pornography, and part of his sentencing was that the government needed to monitor any computer he used. He did not move forward in the process.

    3. For the same tech writer position, we had a candidate who had been rejected by our very picky hiring manager before. (She maintained multiple contract tech writer positions, was ridiculously picky in legal and illegal ways, and would never reconsider a rejectee, so we really had to scour the earth for tech writers.) He wouldn’t accept this and kept calling us. Once he looked up my LinkedIn while on the phone with me and started trying to make conversation with me about various places I had lived and traveling I had done, where I grew up, etc. When one recruiter stopped taking his calls, he would call and request another. When the receptionist stopped forwarding him to anyone, he changed his name from Bob to Robert. The poor receptionist had to intercom me like “Bob is on the line for you again, but now he says his name is Robert.”

    3. Not sure if this counts since he was never really our candidate, but while scouring LinkedIn for the same tech writer position, I clicked on the link in a guy’s profile to see if maybe he had a professional blog or something that would impress our hiring manager. His blog was not about technical writing. It was about ancient alien theory, and all the ways that aliens have populated the earth and influenced our history. (At that point I didn’t even care about that personally, but we couldn’t send a guy to our hiring manager and have her google him and find that, it would kill our credibility.)

    4. Various things I’ve seen on resumes from Monster and Dice while looking for candidates:
    -Guy seemingly looking for a normal secular software engineering job discussed his somewhat controversial (LDS) religion in his cover letter, in a way that wasn’t relevant to his profession
    -Guy attached a cover letter with his ENTIRE life story to his resume. Said letter included the phrase “And then I spent a few years killing people in ‘Nam.” (I actually felt bad for him, I think he got drafted and was really screwed up about it, but still, social norms.)
    -New graduate boasted that he “Once gave a laptop to a classmate in need” under his volunteering.

    1. BabyAttorney*

      Be careful with #2. Several states have “ban the box” legislation that you can’t use former crime in consideration for hiring decisions.

      1. Bex*

        Even if they can’t consider the crime, they can consider the computer monitoring and veto based on that.

      2. The Cat is Winning*

        Actually, this isn’t true. “Ban the box” laws only forbid the employer from asking about criminal history early in the hiring process (usually on the application form).

      3. Observer*

        Even with Ban the Box, you most definitely can consider criminal history if it’s relevant. The computer monitoring piece is TOTALLY relevant.

      4. Anon Moose*

        It sounds like the candidate disclosed it, versus the employer asking. They still have to reject for a legitimate business reason, which it sounds like monitoring arguably could be.

  101. Anon for this*

    Worked for an LGBTQ advocacy organization and interviewed a woman to be a receptionist who thought that she didn’t mind “the gays” so much as long as lesbians didn’t hit on her and she didn’t “have to see any wang in the bathroom, you know?”

    I politely but quickly showed her the door.

    1. INTP*

      That’s funny, that’s exactly how I feel about straight men at work. Don’t hit on me and don’t let me see your wang in the bathroom and I’ll tolerate you just fine!

    2. designbot*

      I would’ve been tempted to ask her why getting hit on at work was something she generally expected to happen in the first place.

  102. Lily in NYC*

    Yay! I have two:
    1. We had a candidate for a high-level role show up drunk at 10am for a second-round interview with my boss. She had already met with the rest of our team. She told my boss that she didn’t like any of those bitches (the women on our team), but that it didn’t matter because she knew she’d just be working for him. And then she winked and tried to fondle his knee under the table. My boss said that we work as a team and since she would have been reporting to one of the women she didn’t like, she should just leave. She tried to argue but he just stood up and opened the door and stared at her until she left. I was flabbergasted because she was really normal at her first interview.
    2. A woman showed up for a VP interview wearing a mini-romper that was very low cut in the back. So basically, it was a miniskirt with a halter top. For an interview at a conservative government office. She met with one person and I guess it didn’t go well. When the person she met with came back to get the next person who was going to meet her, we saw the conference room door open and the woman just walked out the door to the elevators without a word and left. Oh, and she was 20 minutes late with no apology so my boss wasn’t willing to meet with her anyway. She was asked why she was late and she said she needed to make a copy of her resume. Way to be prepared!

    1. Lily in NYC*

      I forgot to mention the cover letter that consisted of two sentences in ALL CAPS and then a giant photo of the candidate’s face underneath. It was so random and bizarre.

      2. LBK*

        Laughing so hard at this.

        Also, I have not gone to an interview drunk but I’ve definitely gone to one extremely hungover – literally as I was walking out the door to the interview, I had to turn around, run to the bathroom and puke. I got to the second round, so I guess I wasn’t that incoherent! Still would not recommend it, though.

        1. Lily in NYC*

          Oh wow. I am so useless when I’m that hungover. I can’t imagine trying to be articulate.

          1. LBK*

            I think the saving grace was that it wasn’t a normal interview, it was a group interview for the Apple Store where we were put into small teams, did some icebreaker questions, then gave a 30-second presentation to the group on one of the other people in our team. It was mostly just to see how we interacted with others and how quickly we could form personal connections with people, so I didn’t have to attempt to pull together my consummate professional image through the haze of the hangover.

  103. Katie the Fed*

    Stories like these always make me wonder about unemployment numbers. Like, there has to be at least 3% of the population that is just fundamentally unemployable, right?

    1. Mel*

      I bet More than that. There are the physically and mentally unemployable. And then there are the “oh hell no’s” that are continually fired and hired because they’re warm bodies.

    2. Mazzy*

      I have alot of ideas about this but will keep it brief. I meet many people who would or should be in blue collar type jobs or other type of work besides white collar jobs because they don’t get or care to get office norms, hate sitting all day and have all sorts of routines to make it bearable, aren’t interested in various computer programs or their work, and don’t have any particular accomplishments in the work world even after years of working, or have a basic understanding about how things work even after years of work, and they don’t seem interested in learning how they work.

      I think white collar jobs where you can come in and do some routine work and go home at 5 are increasingly rare, but there are still a ton of applicants looking for that sort of job. Of course none of them say it on the interview, but you definitely get that feeling.

      1. AnotherAlison*

        Many people can’t cut it in blue collar jobs, either. My husband hired a guy to be an apprentice electrician who had gone to school to be a diesel mechanic. For whatever reason, he didn’t want to be a mechanic anymore after getting laid off from one company, and we know his aunt. . .

        He proceeded to complain about his pay every couple of weeks, and ended up making $5/hr more in less than 6 months. He got really mad one day because my husband said, “Shorts, really?” when he showed up to work in shorts in the winter. He went on a rant about how he didn’t like my husband making fun of him all the time (based on the shorts comment), and several other grievances that were equal in accuracy and weight. He then asked my husband to take him back to his vehicle (they were out doing work in a company van). A week later he calls and asks if he’s fired.

        The APPRENTICE couldn’t emotionally deal with his BOSS correcting his work (one of the grievances). It was completely weird, but it was like, if you can’t handle being told what to do at work by your boss, what do you expect out of work?

        1. Anonsydance*

          Unfortunately, I have to agree with you about people not being able to cut it in blue collar jobs. We hire temps from an agency to do the assembly and so many guys just can’t follow the directions and are constantly lost. Or they don’t even show up. Or show up hung over and leave a few hours into their shift after getting sick.

          1. Mazzy*

            This is true, I wasn’t thinking about this. I guess I was thinking about my town’s version of “blue collar,” which is or was working a union job at the supermarket, making the equivalent of $15-$20 nowadays stocking shelves and being a cashier. Those jobs still exist, but are getting rarer. I guess the blue collar world is changing to more skilled and nuanced work as well in some ways?

            1. Christopher Tracy*

              A lot of blue collar jobs have always been skilled labor, at least where I’m from.

      2. Pwyll*

        See, that’s the part where I disagree with a certain segment of our society that claims service-level jobs, like at fast food restaurants, are only intended to be for kids. There is a not-so-small portion of the population where service jobs are as good as it’s going to get for them. People who aren’t able to do white collar work, manufacturing work has disappeared, and aren’t going to strive for management. Treating service jobs as somehow lazy or lesser really drives me insane.

        1. SophieChotek*

          I definitely know a lot of people who work FT in service-level jobs/restaurant jobs, retail jobs in big box stores, and have worked FT myself for years as a barista — so I agree that attitude is frustrating. So often customers, meaning to be “nice”, ‘so when will you go to college and get a ‘real job’?” (And I just nod and say I’m finished with college.)

          That said, it does seem like a certain segment of the people do think that. And frankly it seems like maybe even the management of these companies to assume/still have that mindset…these are “supposed” to be the summer jobs for high school students, or the “part time’ jobs for undergrad college students, or the “for fun” jobs for retired people/stay-at-home-parents who just want “get out of the house 2 days a week”…and well, the pay and the way some people treats those in service seems to go along with these assumptions….?

        2. Elizabeth West*

          Yep, and it’s hard work that takes a physical toll on you after doing it for years. Being on your feet all day, carrying heavy items, working rotating shifts–these workers really should be paid better and get better benefits (wishing for some kind of national healthcare, at least). How can you possibly save for retirement when you can barely make ends meet? Because at some point, you’re physically not going to be able to do it anymore. :(

        3. Mander*

          I’ve never understood that claim. I’m pretty sure McDonald’s wasn’t started with the aim of giving jobs to kids, you know? And providing a service is by definition a useful occupation.

      3. Jadelyn*

        This…really rubs me the wrong way, tbh. Because it sounds like you’re presenting blue-collar jobs as some kind of “consolation prize” – “Sorry you can’t hack it at a Real Job, try blue-collar work instead.” There are types of blue-collar work that are primarily laborers, sure, but blue-collar as a term encompasses skilled trades as well. My fiance is a machinist – he had to do a 4 year apprenticeship, combining classroom and on-the-job training, and you literally can’t be genuinely incompetent or stupid and do what he does, because you’ll get yourself or someone else killed or seriously hurt.

        Sorry if I seem defensive, it’s just that I’ve had a number of people treat me like I’m “settling” because I work an office job and he doesn’t, and I keep seeing it as a pervasive cultural attitude beyond that. One friend literally asked “Are you sure you can be happy with someone who’s not as smart as you are?” Never mind the fact that he’s, if I’m being honest, smarter than me – he just likes working with his hands and making stuff, where I prefer data and logistics puzzles that get handled in an office.

        1. Jen*

          I’m on the opposite side from you in a sense – I’m an office worker and my husband’s family are primarily active or semi-retired blue-collar (my husband is retail management). I’ve gotten a lot of grief from his family because I have a desk job, and work for the government; they seem to see me as representing wasted tax dollars or something (not specifically me, but in the “government wastes our money/she works for the government”) sense.

          My husband has in the past gotten a bit defensive about his work because he’s has people treat him as lesser because he’s not a government employee (they’re the major employer in my city), and I’ve pointed out that I don’t do that (and in fact have great respect for his intelligence and the amount of stuff he has to be on top of in his job), and called out his extended family’s treatment of me as a counterpoint. It’s great fun.

        2. Rusty Shackelford*

          This. My brother-in-law is a skilled tradesman and he makes as much as I do with my degree. I’d hate his job. He’d hate mine. We’re both happy and well-paid contributing members of society.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            PLUMBERS.
            Man, they make serious dough. I’d hate that job–I put in my own kitchen faucet, and while lying under the sink praying a spider didn’t drop on my face, I thought, “No wonder they can charge so much. This sucks and I don’t want to do it.”

            1. Rusty Shackelford*

              PLUMBERS INDEED.

              I remember being not long out of college, living in a tiny rental, and finding that the plumber my landlord called for an issue was actually someone I’d graduated from high school with. So we talked. I lived in a tiny rental and had my first job and some student loan debt. He owned his own business and a nice home on a few acres of land. There are lots of really good jobs that don’t happen in an office and don’t require a degree, folks.

        3. Mazzy*

          My comment didn’t say one was better than the other. I’m saying that the number of white collar jobs keeps increasing as a portion of the workforce, but that doesn’t mean that the number of people qualified for or truly skilled at or interested in those sorts of jobs is also going up. I am talking more about skill set matching than about one being better than the other.

      4. Temperance*

        A lot of my extended family (and my MIL’s boyfriend) are like this. They want those low-responsibility, no education required, good-paying factory jobs that don’t exist anymore.

        My mom somehow got herself hired to work reception at a Pearle Vision … and she freaked out and walked out after less than a week because she didn’t want to learn the computer.

    3. Cath in Canada*

      I worked at a JobCentre (British government employment and benefits office) one summer when I was a student, and they told us at the orientation session that our city had an unemployment rate of 3% “which is considered full employment because the government assumes 3% of the population to be unemployable in any type of job”. So, great guess! :D

  104. cataloger*

    We interviewed one candidate for a full-time position who’d previously worked with us a student worker. In a question about the kinds of work she found satisfying, she referred to some of our tasks as “monkey work”, and volunteered that others had told her that accepting this job would be “the kiss of death” for her career.

    1. Bob*

      I use the term “monkey work” or the phrase “a trained monkey could do it” all the time and it’s a habit I’m trying to break. I use it to reference work that any random person off the street could master quickly. I don’t mean to be disrespectful but it obviously would be to the person who does the task being referenced.

      1. cataloger*

        Some staff who often do that work, who were part of the group interview, were not impressed!

        1. Temperance*

          I use it to describe certain tasks that I do, but I would never, ever say it to another person!

  105. Trig*

    Interviewing for a technical writing intern position, where all the candidates are from the local college post-bachelor’s program, and this is part of their required co-op. It’s expected they won’t have much/any experience in tech writing, office environments, or software in general. Most of them are humanities grads who’ve worked a variety of service jobs getting themselves through school. We’ve been doing this for four years now, so we have reasonable expectations for their qualifications.

    One candidate stands out for drastic self-sabotage. She spent most of the interview putting herself down.

    When asked why she wanted to be a technical writer, she responded that she didn’t really want to go back to work , but her husband, who worked in project management at [Major Competitor Company], thought she should get a job and that she would be ok at it because he could help her.

    When asked if she was enjoying the program, she said that she found it very difficult.

    When showing her portfolio she repeatedly stated that it wasn’t very good and she’d had a lot of help on her assignments.

    When asked about her weaknesses, she stated that she wasn’t very good at grammar.

    When asked what made her stand out from her peers, she said that they were probably better than her.

    At some point she started talking about how she knew we wouldn’t pick her because she was no good at all.

    No, we did not pick her. The handholding that would have required was beyond what we were willing to do. I really did feel for her though. I understand imposter syndrome, especially as a woman in tech! I wanted to take her aside and tell her not to shoot herself in the foot in future interviews- at least FAKE confidence. I also got the vibe that her husband was awful, but that’s a different issue altogether.

  106. Mazzy*

    I felt bad for one recently that followed up four times within the week after an interview, even though I had given them a timeline of two weeks out before I would even complete first round interviews. I didn’t have any information to give them, and they ended up saying on one phone call that they just want to get back to work, which I get, but that has nothing to do with your fit.

    Also, they had only been out of work for a month at that point, where I had other candidates that were out of work for much longer, so that particular person wasn’t going to be the one to tug at my heart strings about being out of work “so long.”

  107. Tea*

    This is probably far from the most egregious, but we once had a job candidate who, mid-interview, whipped out her phone and started texting. Like, she’s sitting down in the conference room, talking to my boss and answering his questions, and then mid answer, just pulls out her phone and starts tapping away.

    My boss and colleague (who were conducting the interview) stared at her in shock, and then my boss said, “Is there an emergency? Do you need to put a hold on this interview?” She finishes her texts, sets her phone in her lap, and is all, “Oh, no, let’s keep going.”

    She was also baffled when we cut the interview short.

    1. fposte*

      I confess that on a quick skim I read “tapping” as “fapping.” Somehow the actual story didn’t seem so bad after that.

      1. Tea*

        I had to muffle my laughter in a burst of coughing just now. Now THAT would make for an egregious story.

  108. cwethan*

    Not bad behavior in the interview, but… upon doing a cursory google search of candidates, discovered one of them was heavily involved in an online furry community under their real name (middle initial and all). They were unqualified for the position for other reasons, but I still dread running into this person at professional events because there are some things you just can’t unsee.

    1. Former Computer Professional*

      Long ago, one of the departments I worked with (but was not in) was looking for a junior person and I recommended a recent college grad I knew.

      The web was still in its infancy and the concept of “Googling” someone was still years off, but this guy still had his college web page up and his potential future boss found it.

      She came to me and expressed (valid) concern about hiring someone who publicly talked about his sexual exploits online. I pointed out that he was still young and naive, and I’d talk to him about online discretion, but that I still thought he’d be a good fit and encouraged her to talk to him before making a decision.

      He was a good fit. That was 15 years ago and I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s now a senior manager. (In my brain he’s still a gangly 20-yr-old doofball.)

      1. cwethan*

        Yeah, this person was…not a 20 year old goofball, which somehow made it worse. Was clearly an active and long-time member of the community! (Which, my personal view is that you do what makes you happy, don’t hurt anyone, and godspeed to you. But man, I wish I didn’t know that about this person-I-have-to-see-in-a-professional-capacity.)

        I hope a friend takes this person aside and has a discussion about privacy and professionalism at some point because I’m sure I wasn’t the only hiring manager to do this.

        1. Temperance*

          Kind of OT, but I’m active in online ferret communities because I have a few ferrets, and I will never, ever forget the man who replied to a post letting us all know that his daughter was a furry AND HE MADE HER FURSUIT. And he included a picture. Hork.

    3. Anymouse*

      As someone who has had a couple of furries on my volunteer staff at a local Teapot convention, I have to ask – were they just people in fursuits or in more… *ahem* explicit situations? Because the former definitely doesn’t imply the latter, and you might be squicking yourself out over nothing.

      1. DMented Kitty*

        Pics of people in fursuits I would just raise an eyebrow on, but think, “whatever floats your boat…”

        Pics of “furpiles” or any act of “yiffing” – um, nope.

  109. OfficePrincess*

    I once interviewed a woman who looked good on paper, arrived on time, and appeared neat and courteous. The interview started going well, but I kept getting whiffs of an odor. It gradually got stronger until I couldn’t deny that it was pot. Five minutes later, she was in the parking lot and I was trying to air out my boss’s office. Personally, I feel like what you do on your own time is your business, but it’s really not a good interviewing strategy, especially for a company in an industry that always requires drug tests.

      1. Artemesia*

        Alas people get nose blind and don’t know their clothes reek of it. I live in a building with mostly old people but there are some younger families and singles too. There was a big kerfuffle because someone smelled pot in the stairwell and we got endless tendentious missives about ‘police will be called’ yadda yadda. And then I got on the elevator with a young guy with his laundry on the way to the laundry room; it was as if a skunk had died in the elevator and he was obviously totally oblivious to the smell. That stuff is really hard to hide and it travels.

  110. MustNotBeNamed*

    I did one phone interview that I’ll never forget. I was already getting weird vibes from the guy, but then I asked him to tell me about a time he handled a conflict at work.

    He started off with, “This is when I was working in retail, so, you know, a lower caliber of coworkers…” He then proceeded to tell me about how his “boss’s girlfriend…well, not his girlfriend, his baby mama” was hitting on him and he had to enlist another coworker to help him avoid her. I was totally shocked.

    What was even more bizarre was that he then followed up this anecdote with an actual, reasonable answer to this question. The whole thing was very bizarre.

  111. Pwyll*

    So, I’m pretty sure I’ve told my “worst interviewee story” before: I was hiring an entry-level admin with flexible hours, so we were accepting current college students as well as graduates. Guy applies, he adds me on LinkedIn the second he’s offered an interview, and he’s relatively arrogant during the interview. He drops a few curse words, once I mentioned we were a fairly laid back atmosphere. (Cursing isn’t entirely out of bounds in our industry . . . but it certainly is during the interview). Things like, “I’ve definitely done shit like that before.” He makes a big point to emphasize all of his achievements with gay college organizations, “as I’m sure you understand,” in what I’m fairly certain was meant to be wink-wink-nod-nod-we’re-both-gay-brothers code for some reason. We ended up hiring a classmate of his (who is now, years later, a principal at the firm. So we clearly made the right choice).

    I received daily calls from Guy telling me how large of a mistake I made. He starts sending me e-mails and LinkedIn messages saying the same thing. He writes a false review on my LinkedIn “endorsements”. He attempts to friend me on Facebook. When I told him not to ever contact me again, he has his Dad call. Dad proceeds to tell me that I’m incompetent, and that I better enjoy the job I’m in because he’s going to ensure I never work anywhere else again (somehow). Dad calls Guy’s school (of which I am an alumnus) and proceeds to tell them he will stop donating to them unless they remove our company from their job and internship databases. (The school relayed this to me as an FYI and basically said they want to be left out of the dispute.) Dad calls my CEO to complain that his son was rejected based on his sexuality and that he’d see us in court. And then one day it all just stopped.

    I left the company about a year later. I was invited to their holiday party about 2 years later and imagine my surprise when Guy is there! Turns out, now in his senior year, Guy somehow slipped through and got hired as an intern. He doesn’t remember me (or pretends not to), but boasts to me that he’s for sure getting hired once he graduates. CEO candidly tells me later that night that he’s disappointed in his intern class and they were hiring none of them. No idea how Dad responded to that one.

    1. Mazzy*

      Cringeworthy. And I hope he verified that you’re a member of the “brotherhood” before he just assumed that that would somehow be the connection between you (and not qualifications).

      1. Pwyll*

        I think it was just an assumption, really. Which is so much more worse.

        I’ve left out a ton of the comments that are more specific to our industry that would clearly identify us, as I know a bunch of my old colleagues are readers here (hi there!). It was all around an insane experience.

    3. fposte*

      If you told this one before, it certainly didn’t include the juicy details, because I think I’d have remembered those.

  112. Infinity*

    We were interviewing for a mid-level attorney position at my federal gov agency. The candidate sat down slumped in his chair, I kid you not, armpit resting on the arm rest, hand dangling near the floor. He would switch sides, sometimes tucking his arm in, but still with his head in a weird horizontal position about where his torso should have been. When I asked him “why are you looking to transfer into the federal government from [fairly prominent large law firm]?” His response, “I’m looking for more flexibility to pursue different stuff.” No matter how I followed up, I couldn’t get him to clarify what “stuff” was or how he thought working for the government would be more flexible than private practice.

  113. Happy Hunter*

    Two days ago, I called a candidate whose resume I found online and appeared to be similar to what we seek for a certain position. I called, we had a nice chat, I told him I was going to send some further details and to reach back if he would like to chat further.

    The next day, I had received 2 emails, 3 voicemails, and he called both my line and the main line 22 times. As in, he called my line, I wouldn’t answer, he’d call the front desk, they would route to voicemail, he’d call mine back, rinse, repeat.

    He’s the first person in company history to have his number banned from calling. Funny enough, I wasn’t at my desk for the majority of the day, so if he had called once (maybe twice) and left it at that, I would have definitely moved forward.

      1. Happy Hunter*

        Essentially, that he was SUPER interested (I go that impression), had checked out the company online, our reviews, etc and wanted to chat further. If he had just left it at one VM and/or email, I would have moved him forward without a second thought. As it was, I was grateful he tipped his hand early.

  114. notmyrealname*

    Once I was interviewing a great candidate (spoiler: she actually got the job, so it worked out okay) when everyone’s middle-school nightmare happened. We were having a natural, easy conversation and she casually brushed back her hair from her face as we were talking — and she accidentally popped a zit on her forehead and dragged all the zit-blood and mess across her forehead. (SORRY. But I had to watch it, so you have to hear about it.) She had no idea and just continued the conversation. I froze and didn’t say anything. About 15 minutes later, I took her to my boss’s office for introductions, and my awesome boss greeted her enthusiastically and said, “Oh, I think you have something on your forehead! Here’s a kleenex.” She handed her a kleenex and a mirror and the candidate thanked her and laughed. I seriously don’t know how my boss could do things like that so naturally. It was so friendly and not-awkward, while I had been dying inside up til then!

    3. Artemesia*

      A fellow student in my husband’s law school class told us of the guy a year ahead of them who was wined and dined by a fancy law firm and afterwards everyone was sitting around in the partner’s office and they broke out the cigars. He had never smoked one before but he was ‘cool’ and so puffed away — and barfed all over the partner’s desk. Supposedly he got the job. I know this is a FOAF but they swore it was true and maybe it was. THAT would be pretty much my worst nightmare and I would never show my face again.

  115. Liana*

    Mine isn’t nearly as exciting as some of the others here, but we’re in the process of interviewing people for an admin assistant role (mine, actually, as i’m leaving in a few weeks) and we brought in one woman who, when asked what attracted her to the healthcare industry, said “Well I watch a lot of Grey’s Anatomy, and I wanted to see if it was anything like real life.” For context: I work in a hospital supporting several surgeons.

    1. anonymous red panda*

      Maybe similiar… I’m an academic librarian (which is a job that usually requires an advanced degree) and I’ve seen more cover letters than I can even remember where candidates present their love of libraries or the many hours they’ve spent *using* libraries as examples of why they think they’re qualified to work in them. I mean I’ve spent a lot of time shopping in grocery stores, but I don’t think that’s a good reason for someone to hire me as a grocery store employee. The Grey’s Anatomy thing cracks me up!

    2. Rebecca in Dallas*

      Someone once said in an interview that they wanted to be a retail buyer because that was Rachel’s job on Friends. :/

  116. Former Computer Professional*

    This is a long story, so bear with me. It’s a favorite.

    Some time ago we were hiring for a junior position. The boss decides that the three of us are senior enough to sort through resumes, narrow it down to 2-3 for in-person interviews, and hand over our best choice and why.

    First guy cannot explain gaps in his resume and keeps trying to change the subject. Thanks for your time.

    Second guy is doing ok and then he gets my “how do you think?” question. I ask, “Everyone screws up. [I give a couple short examples of my screwups.] Tell us about one time you screwed up.” What I want to hear is a) how you handle when you make mistakes and b) whether and what you learn from it.

    Second guy says, “I only make mistakes once! Once I learn something I never screw up again!” We figure he’s one of those I’ll Tell You What I Think You Want To Hear types and, given that the rest of his resume and interview went ok, put him aside for ‘maybe.’

    The third guy was younger than the others, just out of college, but had been an intern for similar work. He seems personable and knowledgeable enough. Then I ask my question.

    He looks thoughtful for a moment, then says, “Well, there’s the time I set a car on fire.”

    We immediately demand story time.

    Turns out he briefly left college after his internship and for a while worked in the shop at a car dealership. A car came in needing a transmission fluid change. Simple enough, right? Put the car up, drop the pan, drain the fluid, change the gasket, put the pan back on, fill it up with new fluid. Except when he went to refill the fluid he used the wrong funnel and the fluid splattered everywhere under the hood.

    Being the new guy, he panics. He thinks of what to use to clean the engine and for some reason thinks of brake-pad cleaner, which is very flammable but good for cleaning greasy fluids. He gets things cleaned and goes to check the transmission. Basically, you put the car through it’s gears and make sure it shifts with no problems.

    But first you have to start the engine. Now, he had no way of knowing that one of the spark plug wires was a bit frayed. He turns the key, a spark comes from the wire, the fumes from the brake-pad cleaner light, and suddenly the car is on fire.

    He pulls the keys, jumps out of the car and runs for a hose, and soaking both the car and himself.

    By this time, every other person in the shop is staring at him and trying not to lose it. The manager finally comes over, looks at the fried engine compartment, looks at the soaking wet guy, and says, “So. Car catch on fire?”

    To which the guy responds, “No. I always piss myself every day at 3 pm.” At which point the place loses it and everyone is howling with laughter.

    The scary part is, according to the guy, they cleaned up the engine compartment, replaced a mess of wires, checked for any further damage, and never told the owner his car had been aflame. It was 20 years ago and I still won’t go near that dealership.

    The cap: A week later I was having lunch with some colleagues and told this story. They were both amused and horrified. One of them finally said, “PLEASE tell me you didn’t hire this guy?”

    I said, “He starts next week.” And he turned out to be an awesome coworker.

    3. fposte*

      See, if the person in the previous post had set the Dalai Lama on fire, that would be worth putting in a cover letter.

      1. Former Computer Professional*

        The fire was accidental.

        The reason we hired him wasn’t because he set a car on fire. He got hired because a) he recognized it was a (monumental) screw-up, b) he owned up to it, and c) he worked to fix the problem(s) as best as he could AND when he was called out on it, didn’t start making excuses.

        That the rest of the shop then pitched in to fix the car also said a lot, even if the repair manager did lie to the customer (which was not the fault of the candidate).

  117. Alston*

    Oh God I forgot this one. Did anyone hear about the guy who pretended to be a Harvard student? http://www.thecrimson.com/article/1982/2/20/man-posing-as-harvard-grad-receives/

    Well my boss hired him as a volunteer. Because he was pretending to be a student again. Fake Student (FS) emailed my boss and asked for a volunteer job/internship. My boss like free labor. FS had a harvard email address (the name in the address was clearly not his name), the address was ON the resume. Boss did not notice. Boss hired him. Weird stuff happened, FS didn’t show up a lot, and we think he stole something. Boss finally figured out who the guy was, when FS finally came back my boss confronted him, told him he’d contacted Harvard and they’d never heard of him, and pointed out the email address that wasn’t his. FS denied everything.

    FS then proceeded to go up one floor in our building, to a different lab and ask about getting an internship with them because he’d just finished a GREAT internship with us. While he was talking to the grad students upstairs one realized that FS had stolen her laptop and just had it sitting visible in his open back pack.

    Long story short he got arrested and did not get a second internship.

    1. Pwyll*

      I swear I heard this story before, either from you or the news media. So crazy!

      Though, I have to say, I’m still pretty surprised that impersonating a Harvard student is a misdemeanor in Massachusetts. Just Harvard? Really?

      1. CM*

        I think it’s referring to the MA law against identity theft, which makes it a crime to impersonate someone and try to get personal information about them. It’s not Harvard-specific.

    2. Evan Þ*

      Tangent, but I couldn’t help grinning when I read that he “…was sentenced in Cambridge District Court by judge Lawrence F Feloney.”

  118. Stella*

    Someone on my team was recruiting for an internship-type position and asked the candidate an icebreaker-y question about leaders she admired. She said Hitler.

    2. SL #2*

      Okay, so if even Chad from The Bachelorette this season knows that admiring/being compared to Hitler is a bad thing, it’s safe to say that bringing up Hitler in any context during a job interview (unless you did a graduate thesis on him or something!) is a no-no.

    3. Leatherwings*

      There’s only a few completely wrong answers to this question. This is one of them.

    4. Stella*

      Yeah, there’s really no explanation that makes it OK, but I think she thought she was giving a “daring” or “out-of-the-box” answer. She said, “You have to be careful who you say that to,” and we were like, “Yes, never say it to anyone who’s interviewing you for a job.” She came with a glowing recommendation from an advisor, too. We thought about following up with the advisor, but decided to just drop it.

    5. costume teapot*

      Funny thing, I used this answer to a question about what person I thought of as a strong leader in world history when I was applying for a congressional sponsorship for a military academy. All the gentlemen went bug-eyed but I gave an analytical and reasoned response (“I may disagree whole heartedly with his methods and beliefs but yadda yadda etc”) and somehow got the sponsorship.

      Still not sure how that happened.

      1. Buffay the Vampire Layer*

        I think the major difference there is that you weren’t giving an example of someone you personally admired. Objectively, Hitler was in fact a strong leader.

    6. Artemesia*

      See she read this article on ‘how to stand out’ in the job search and thought it would make her memorable and she was right.

  119. Bob*

    We once interviewed a guy who was family friends with a big wig at the company. He mentioned it so many times in his cover letter that it was a little obnoxious. It sort of had an air of “this interview is just a formality because the job is mine” to it. Anyway, what he didn’t know is my boss and his reference were bitter enemies. We had to interview him because of his connection but my boss told us before the interview that this would be a short courtesy interview so we didn’t need to seriously consider this guy.

  120. Bone Thugg*

    A young man came by the small biotech company I worked for to interview for a lab position. His fashion sense was best described as RenFaire business casual. He wore velvet calf-length boots, purple slacks (carefully tucked into the boots), and a puffy white shirt with loosely drawn chest lacing. A fire engine red white-guy afro topped it all off. In the interview he discussed the fact that he was an “indigo tiger”, which destined him for success in an intellectual field. He also went on at length about how much of a dick his undergrad research adviser was.

    4. Tangerina Warbleworth*

      See, this is where I’d be tempted to have some fun. “You’re an indigo tiger? Really! I’m a screaming purple platypus, myself.”
      What in THE hell.

    6. Windchime*

      I used to work with a guy who would wear red jeans and a gold lame shirt to work as a computer engineer. I thought that was weird, but I think your ren-faire pirate is more…..unusual.

      1. Sophia in the DMV*

        I won’t mention his name bc he’s know for harassing people, but a few years ago, a guy with the initials RR went viral re: dating and IIRC he wore RenFaire type clothes in his pics

  121. Jo Riley*

    Mine’s not outlandish, but was very weird in the moment. I was part of an second interview panel with two colleagues, with my boss observing. It was for a finance/admin position. When it was the candidate’s turn to ask questions, she asked us what our backgrounds were–not too weird. When she heard I had a media studies background, she said, “Oh! What is your take on how the media has been reporting the results of last night’s democratic debate?” (This was just after the first debate.) She then proceeded to ask my coworker about all of the countries he’s visited and where he’d most like to travel. I’m really not sure what she expected to get out of asking these.
    I can’t remember if it was the same candidate or a different one who asked us where we saw our current jobs fitting into our career plans. Which, given that I’d like to move on before too long, is not exactly something I’m eager to talk about in front of my boss.

    1. Pwyll*

      Sounds to me like someone googled interview questions and didn’t realize that they weren’t the ones that candidates ask. Hah!

    2. Persephone Mulberry*

      This reminds me of an interview I went on – it was both a group interview and a panel – 5 interviewers asking questions of 5 candidates; one interviewer would ask a question and each of us would answer in turn. At the end, they asked each of us if we had any questions, and the first woman in the rotation goes, “You’ve asked five questions of us so I have five questions for you,” and proceeds to pull out a list and ask her five questions, the answers to which had mostly already been covered in the context of the interview.

  122. Jersey's Mom*

    We were hiring another field ecologist. The resume looked ok (older jobs as lab tech, consulting biologist), but didn’t have anything for the last 5 years. In the interview, I asked what she had been doing during that time. She proudly explained that she was a self employed life coach and hypnotist, then described the work as maintaining her commitment to being patient and responsible for the mental well being of all of her family members. She referred me to her website and exclaimed that she could certainly help me find my center, as my aura was clearly too dark.

    Not as dark as it apparently became when I told her that her skill set did not meet the job requirements and told her the interview was over.

  123. Newish Reader*

    Several of us in the office were interviewing for our next boss (executive level position). The executive assistant explained her role and how she supported this person. The candidate basically said he wouldn’t have need for anyone to do those things for him. Um, okay, so are you planning to eliminate a secretary if you get the job?

  124. SKA*

    We once had a recent college grad apply for an entry-level position. There were a few minor things “off” from the start — his suit was a few sizes too big, and he made a point mentioning that his mom was waiting for him outside in her car (no points against him for getting a ride to the office, but… why mention it?!).

    He stumbled kind of awkwardly through the interview (or at least the parts I was there for), and while his work seemed decent enough, his communication skills were lacking enough that he definitely wasn’t going to get the job (he would’ve had to interact with clients on a regular basis).

    On the way out, after thanking us for the interview, he said, and I quote, “It’s okay if you don’t give me the job. I won’t cry about it or anything.” and immediately proceeded to turn around and trip down the stairs. (He caught himself on the handrail and was not injured.)

    1. LD*

      Aww. This makes me want to buy him a cup of cocoa and tell him everything will turn out okay. He sounds so inexperienced and nervous and sweet.

    2. Abby*

      I used to interview medical students applying for residency positions. Many of them had never had a job. They would come to the interview with the little sewn on tag on their suits. I think they didn’t know you were supposed to take it off. One came in with a nice suit and dress shoes but had white socks on. I always thought it was cute. They were well qualified otherwise.

      1. Expected to pay more than my fair share*

        Don’t dis the white socks. It’s all my husband wears but I doubt most people know it.

        3. Artemesia*

          I solve the white sock problem by buying black cotton athletic socks; same sock really but unobtrusive with shoes and black slacks.

  125. David*

    Early in my career I recruited for a high volume call center so we interviewed tons of people though two stand out. The first had worked for the local branch of the YMCA and anytime she mentioned her job there she threw her hands up in a Y. It happened more times than I could count. The other was very unhappy in her current role but was conflicted about speaking ill of her employer. Even though we were alone in an interview room, anytime I asked about her duties she would look around then answer in a low whisper. Three times during the interview she slapped herself across the face when talking about that employer and said, “I shouldn’t have said that”. I felt bad for her but she was not hired.

      1. Artemesia*

        two bad there were not 3 of you doing the interview and you could have done the song every time she did the Y off you go with the MCA hand signs.

    2. Hermione*

      Even though we were alone in an interview room, anytime I asked about her duties she would look around then answer in a low whisper. Three times during the interview she slapped herself across the face when talking about that employer and said, “I shouldn’t have said that”. I felt bad for her but she was not hired.

      I knew someone like this once when I was in school – he had a really hard time saying anything negative about her former (abusive!) employer. I tried to advocate for his (and those like him) right to earn a decent living, but the movement never really took off.

      Years later, he saved my life, but then this crazy witch I knew threw a poisoned knife at him. It was horrible.

  126. Coolb*

    We had a guy come in to our so cal tech company office wearing a polyester cowboy cut leisure suit at a time when the office wore shorts and rode scooters in the hall. On the way out after the interview the escorting recruiter happened to walk past a box of stale donuts that had been sitting there all morning for the department to share. This guy stopped, sort of glazed over and did a Homer Simpson drool . You could see “Doh nuuuts” going through his head. He asked to take one and then proceeded to carry it into the men’s room with him before he exited.

    1. CM*

      Did it come back out of the men’s room with him, or did he step into the men’s room for an intimate moment with his donut?

    2. strawberries and raspberries*

      In the non-profit where I work, we’re partnered with another program that does recruitment events for open positions, so we get a lot of different people coming in from all over who are not necessarily associated with our program. Once we were finishing a workshop series, and to celebrate the participants we had ordered Subway sandwiches and put them in an open room near our computer lab where the recruitment candidates would complete online assessments once they passed the prescreening. This one guy was sent back to do an assessment, saw the sandwiches, and immediately starting helping himself to a stack of them. We had to intercept him and be like SIR THOSE ARE FOR A SEPARATE EVENT. The Recruiting Account Manager noted that in the database they use and he wasn’t referred.

  127. Jadelyn*

    Where do I even start?

    There’s the guy who applied for every single open position we had in the L.A. area (there were like 6) with the same exact emailed paragraph, no resume attached, with a selfie at the top and a description of himself that included how much he can bench-press.

    There’s the immigration cop who applied for a managerial job at my nonprofit, which works in large part with undocumented immigrants. Somehow I think that might not have been a good culture fit.

    There’s the guy who signed his cover letter with “Your brother in Christ, [name]” – I’m pagan, but even my super-Christian VP agreed that that was really inappropriate for a business correspondence.

    There’s the one who applied on a Friday afternoon and by the time I got in Monday morning I had two follow-up emails and four voicemails from that person demanding to know why I hadn’t called them back yet.

    I loved the one whose resume included a job title, “Severely Emotionally Disturbed Teacher” – it was at a school so I’m like 99% sure it was about teaching special ed classes for emotionally-disturbed kids, but that made me giggle.

    In similar vein, the one whose skills section of her resume prominently included “Working with the pubic”.

    1. LBK*

      Severely Emotionally Disturbed Teacher is my favorite of these. At least she was self-aware?

      1. Jadelyn*

        I’m considering putting “Severely Emotionally Disturbed HR Assistant” on my next resume. Truth in advertising?

    3. Rob aka Mediancat*

      How much he can bench press was relevant? Huh. I didn’t know the WWE was hiring.

  128. j-nonymous*

    I had a candidate show up for an interview reeking of alcohol, like he’d had way too much to drink the night before & woke up still drunk.

    He answered every question in a monosyllabic way (mostly “No” that he had certain experience that his resume indicated he had).

    We ended the interview early (obviously) and as we left the conference room, he rubbed my arm in a lascivious way and said, “I guess we know how that went.”

    Uh, yes – and hitting on me isn’t going to change that.

    1. Oxford Comma*

      OMG–his hail Mary at the end is the best!!! I’m going to keep it in my back pocket in case I bomb an interview in the future.

  129. Jamie*

    Flew in a candidate for a sales position. He would be working out of state (where he lived) so spent the day with being shown various parts of the company, meeting with the local sales team, etc. At the end of the day he was to meet with 3 of the owners and the COO for the more formal part of the interview process.

    As he was waiting in the front office to be called into the meeting the woman behind the front desk asked how his day had gone so far…small talk. In the most condescending tone ever called her Honey and told her he didn’t have time to chat because he was preparing for a meeting with “the big boys.”

    The woman? The majority owner. She was waiting for the meeting to start and was looking for a pen or something at the front desk.

    What she didn’t know at that time is when he’d been introduced to me as the IT hours earlier he said, “so Chicklet, I guess you’re the one who’s going to be taking care of me.” And then cocked his fingers like a gun and did the little shooting gesture at me while making clicking noises with his mouth while winking. It’s really hard to describe but you all know that gesture! He thought it was charming. It wasn’t.

    I know I’ve told this story before, but I’m still amazed it happened.

    Spoiler alert: he wasn’t hired.

    1. LBK*

      How is this a real person!? I honestly didn’t think dbags like this existed outside of TV shows. Yeesh.

    2. Aurion*

      Ooh, so did you or the owner tell him that he wasn’t being considered because he was a sexist ass? What was his reaction?

      1. SophieChotek*

        +1
        I want to know too.
        Or did he get to see in a few minutes she was one of the important ones.

        1. Jamie*

          That. She walked into the meeting and he was surprised when she was introduced. The meeting was very short. And his apology about not knowing who she was didn’t help because being rude to the receptionist wouldn’t have been okay either.

          I was new and not in the meeting – which to this day makes me sad because seeing his face would have been awesome.

    3. Abby*

      I worked as a secretary who was pretty high up in an industry where women leaders weren’t common. We had an open job position and that morning I had called several candidates asking to come into interivews. Of course I had to leave some messages (this was long before cell phones or email.) While I was at lunch, someone returned the call. My boss answered the phone because she was in the office and I wasn’t. Apparently, the candidate assumed she was the secretary and spoke extremely condescendingly to her. She told the candidate that there were no longer any interview times available and when I got back to work she told me to tell her immediately if a candidate ever spoke to me like that.

      It was awesome of my boss and a good lesson about treating everyone with respect. I did anyway, but it still opened my eyes.

    4. fposte*

      I was so hoping you’d come in to tell this one. It’s the finger gun that makes it.

      2. Jamie*

        If I’d remembered the phrase “finger gun” it wouldn’t have taken me so long to type!

    6. Artemesia*

      I thought guys like this knew to keep it holstered till they got the job. So what was the look on his face when the chick at the front desk turned out to be interviewing him?

  130. Emily, admin extraordinaire*

    This isn’t my story, but it’s so awesomely bad I have to share. It comes from my former boss when I was working in HR for a local movie theater chain. Said chain was owned by a larger company which also, at the time, owned a couple of restaurants, and we hired for those too. One was a themed restaurant (think Rainforest Café-ish) that had an indoor 3-story cliff, complete with pool at the bottom, and a cliff-diving show that would be repeated every hour or so throughout the working day (it has since gone out of business because the food wasn’t as awesome as the cliff-diving show, and the overhead was enormous). So we were in charge of hiring cliff divers.

    My boss had an interview with a cliff-diving candidate. Seemed good on paper– had done platform diving in high school, wanted a part-time job to help pay for tuition etc. Halfway through the interview, which had been going fairly well up to that point, she received a phone call from the CEO, which she had to take. When she got off the phone, she looked back at the candidate to see that he had taken off his shirt and was flexing his pectorals. One at a time. With a big grin on his face.

    He was not hired.

    1. LBK*

      Oh my goooooood. I had to cover my face with my hands because I was laughing so hard at this at my desk.

      I mean, I guess in theory looking good in a bathing suit would be a reasonable requirement for the role…but why would you do that unsolicited? Just…why? Was he trying to woo the hiring manager or did he really think that was appropriate for the interview? So many questions.

    2. Master Bean Counter*

      That is funny even if you did give me a moment of panic thinking an institution in Denver had gone out of business. Thankfully (or not) they are still open.

      1. Emily, admin extraordinaire*

        I believe the restaurant in my story was trying to copy the one in Denver– it was even a Mexican restaurant. Architecturally, it was stunning. Culinarily, it was overpriced and disappointing. Many people went once for the experience and never went back. I don’t think it made a profit in its last two years of operation– the other businesses owned by the company kept it from closing for much longer than it would have otherwise.

        1. Master Bean Counter*

          The one in Denver was actually a franchise out of Oklahoma to start with. I’m guessing yours might have been one of the other franchises.
          I think the one in Denver survives because they made deals with all of the local school districts and possibly the devil.

          3. GertietheDino*

            It survived because it was made a Landmark by the City and State. It was a tacky good time back in the day.

      3. gingersnap*

        Thanks for checking! That Denver institution is where my mother celebrated her college graduation (just after it opened) so I’d be distressed if it closed…

      4. Chameleon*

        Me too! The Denver restaurant played such a huge role in my childhood. There was an episode of a certain animated show about it and I died watching it because it was so true!

      5. Parenthetically*

        I came here to say, “CASA BONITA WENT OUT OF BUSINESS?!” but you beat me to it.

      6. littlemoose*

        Thank goodness! We just booked a trip to Denver and Casa Bonita is definitely on the agenda!

      7. Mander*

        Wow, I didn’t realize there were so many Coloradans here!

        Some friends and I went to Casa Bonita for old times’ sake a few years after we finished college. Clearly I didn’t eat anything during all those school and girl scout trips because the food was ZOMG SO BAD. I was like seriously? You’re in west Denver, you could hire almost anyone off the sidewalk outside and they could make better Mexican food than that. And no, that is not ethnicity specific.

    3. bridget*

      BAHAHAHA. Since we share an alma mater, I have a pretty good idea of the restaurant/movie theater chain you’re referring to. And also have met a fair share of local bros who think bouncing their pecs is the most charming move of all time.

    4. fposte*

      I just love the one at a time. Like he’s a stripper making the tassels go in different directions.

      1. Emily, admin extraordinaire*

        The space is now more movie theaters. A better use of it, I’m sure.

        1. DEJ*

          The Italian restaurant that closed at the same time across the street was replaced by a Mexican restaurant that is pretty good.

      1. Gillian*

        Oops, this is what I get for opening a thread yesterday and then not refreshing this morning/forgetting I wasn’t on the Friday open thread.

        Reiterating that I’m glad the silly restaurant from my childhood is still there.

  131. Nickibee*

    I was on the interview panel for our interns last summer. One of the candidates put on his resume that he was a snappy dresser. He was! Bow tie, slim cut suit, pink shirt, funky socks and snazzy shoes. He didn’t get one of the finance internships though.

  132. Interviewer*

    I was part of the interview panel for my position (I was leaving because my then fiance’s job was moving us across the country, and gave several months notice) I was introduced by my boss as the current teapot designer, but no details were given as to why I was leaving.

    At the end of one of the interviews, the candidate turned to me and said “Well, first, congratulations!” Which was a little odd, but I thought maybe she noticed the ring and meant on my engagement. Before anyone could say anything, in the next breath she said “I’m a little unclear, I thought this position was permanent, not a maternity leave. Will you be returning after you have the baby?”

    I wasn’t pregnant.

      1. Interviewer*

        Awkward didn’t even begin to describe it! The looks on the faces of the other interviewers was priceless! I recovered first and just matter of factly said it wasn’t a maternity leave, I wasn’t pregnant. She was appropriately mortified. And I never wore that shirt again.

        She didn’t move forward in the process from there. But honestly, she wouldn’t have even without that comment. Nothing else egregious, she just wasn’t a good fit with the other team members.

    2. TheAngryGuppy*

      Grrrrrrrrrr……I have so many stories about people’s assumptions about the contents of my uterus. I have yet to add one to the list from an interviewee, but I’m sure it will happen at some point. Sorry you’ve dealt with that too.

      Off topic NB for anyone that might think it “shows interest” to ask about women’s pregnancy status: It is NOT a good idea. EVER. Unless they tell you they’re pregnant. I get why people sometimes think I might be – I carry some extra weight on my tummy. It’s because I have PCOS (pretty common condition!) which can cause both abdominal weight gain and infertility – fun double-whammy! Luckily I am also not interested in having kids but if I were, these kinds of comments would be extra devastating.

      1. Interviewer*

        Fortunately, at the time, I wasn’t anywhere near trying to have children and it was more of a shock related to my appearance. But if that comment had come during another time in my life, it could have been devastating.

        You never know what’s going on with a woman’s body, and fertility status or pregnancy status is so often fraught with emotion. It’s never a good idea to ask about it!

        PCOS is so common. I have it too.

      2. Gwenderful*

        The best advice I’ve heard is that you NEVER ask a woman if she’s pregnant – not even if she’s in labor and the baby is crowning.

    3. EddieSherbert*

      Oh my gosh, I definitely just laughed at my desk. Luckily I avoided doing a spit-take – barely!

      1. Interviewer*

        :) It was the most awkward interview moment I’ve ever had, but a good story for dinner parties now!

    4. LBK*

      What did you say!? I would be so jarred I don’t think I would be able to form a coherent sentence.

      1. Interviewer*

        There was definitely a long pause while we all looked at each other in pure shock. I recovered first and told her it wasn’t a leave, I wasn’t pregnant. But the looks on everyone’s faces were priceless!

    5. Kaybee*

      I was just going to add a story similar to that. I had a candidate ask me when my baby was due. Not only was I not pregnant, but I had just found out that I was infertile. So that was fun.

  133. Anon for this*

    Not my story, but a co-worker. One of the interview questions was “Tell us how you would deal with a difficult or rude customer.” The interviewee asked for an example. (Seriously, you can’t imagine a difficult customer?) The interviewer replied, “Say they called you an asshole.” I have no idea what the interviewee’s answer was, but they reported the interviewer to their own HR afterwards.

    Well, I’m pretty sure they knew they didn’t want the job, but that is surely a nuclear way to guarantee you won’t get one (possibly ever, at that company).

    I was doing a phone screen once and asked, “If you shared an office with a teammate working on the same product you were, and you noticed that almost every time you walked in/out you saw they were browsing internet comics or otherwise not working, what would you do?” It was a common question because I was waiting to hear if they ‘report to management’ right away or ‘talk to the person’, or if they consider whether the person is getting tasks done quickly and effectively, etc.

    On this particular occasion, I could _hear_ the shrug in the applicant’s voice as they replied, “Nothing. Not my business.”

    1. Anon for this*

      Argh. They reported the interviewer to our (the interviewer’s) HR. I was trying to clarify there and made it less clear.

    2. CM*

      The HR one is pretty amazing, but I don’t think the answer to the teammate question is that bad. I guess you got a bad impression from his tone, but “not my business” seems pretty appropriate to me when it comes to monitoring a coworker’s work.

  134. Serin*

    When I was a church secretary, I was the first point of contact for candidates applying for a maintenance position.

    One candidate arrived wearing a knitted hat, and took it off, revealing another knitted hat underneath it. I guess that was his formal toque.

    Another guy sat down across from me to fill out an application, and then proceeded to demand my attention for more than an hour as he talked about himself. Several of the stories he told involved him walking off a job because he was angry “about the way they treated women in that place,” followed by a noticeable pause where I guess I was supposed to applaud. (I BEGGED the hiring manager not to hire that one; if he wasted an hour of my time while filling out an application, I could only imagine how much of my time he would demand if he was sitting in the next office over, and we already had one talker in the office.)

    My favorite, though, was the guy who responded to an ad that said, “Please apply in person Monday through Thursday, 8:30 a.m. to 2 p.m.” by coming around at ten on a Sunday night and leaving a message on my voicemail that said, “Where the hell y’all at? I done banged on all the doors, but I cain’t raise nobody.” (Note: This did not happen in the South.)

    3. VolunteercoordinatorinNOVA*

      Maybe he was worried about the pesky monkeys trying to steal his caps so he brought a few with him?

  135. Seal*

    We brought in a candidate who wound up doing a terrible interview. She came off as flippant, flaky, and disorganized, none of which are qualities you want in a cataloging librarian. At one point during her presentation she needed to get something from her bag, which in and of itself was odd, and disappeared behind the podium for almost a minute while continuing to talk. The kicker was that she sent handmade thank you notes that included the university’s copyrighted logo. Needless to say, she didn’t get hired.

  136. TheAngryGuppy*

    As I was leaving my term-limited position in a government agency to move to a new opportunity, I helped to interview potential replacements through a fellowship program (candidates all have terminal degrees). My boss (who would be theirs) did a formal interview, then sent them to me for a more casual/candid follow-up. Most candidates kind of ran together because they all had the usual “what’s the day-to-day like” type of questions, but there was one candidate I will never forget.

    He sits down in my office, has a few questions about whether he can work weird hours from home instead of 9-5 in the office (answer: no, the point of this position is for you to contribute your expertise and all gain experience working in the govt), and then says: “So, tell me what the politics are like in this agency.”

    Me: “Well, given that this is a short-term fellowship, you’re generally shielded from this because of the nature of the position. Like any workplace, there are occasional interpersonal politics, and of course there are certainly governmental politics that can affect higher level decisions, but that’s not usually going to have a huge impact on your work.”

    Him: “The reason I’m asking is that I think of myself as a sort of ‘Frank Underwood’ type so I want to know how to influence decision makers to my benefit.”

    Me: uhhhhhhhh………. (Internal monologue: So, your plan is to come into a small government agency on a short term fellowship, and murder your way into the presidency??!?! This is NOT a good fit for your goals, son!)

    Him: [tented fingers, intense stare]

    Me: (Short pause in case he wanted to turn and speak to camera with some dark folksy metaphor.)

    Me: “OK, well, thanks for your time. Let me show you out.”

    (He was asked to withdraw his candidacy from the program.)

    1. LBK*

      Me: (Short pause in case he wanted to turn and speak to camera with some dark folksy metaphor.)

      Love this.

  137. Cookie*

    I was in a team interview with a candidate for our administrative assistant position. The candidate seemed great until we asked her if she had any questions. She asked if typing was at all involved? She didn’t like to type.

  138. Lemon Zinger*

    I work at a university. We recently had a candidate come do a presentation for a data-heavy processing job. The entire department (100 people) came, since the role really affected everything we do. The candidate seemed like a really nice guy, but he didn’t directly answer any of the questions that were asked. Instead, he told long, rambling stories. He even included an anecdote about how he “took a stand-up comedy class, which is why I’m funny and good at public speaking.”

    No indication that he had any idea how the role actually worked. He flew thousands of miles for this interview on his own dime. He also hadn’t been involved in our department’s role for almost 10 years, so his knowledge was seriously outdated. After his presentation, the interviewing committee sent a survey out, asking for feedback. Everyone slammed him.

    He did not get the job.

    1. Pwyll*

      Your university had a candidate for a job, not for university President, effectively interview with 100 people?! What?!

      1. Lemon Zinger*

        I work at an enormous university. It’s totally common for positions like that one.

          1. College Career Counselor*

            I once met 53 people over the course of an all-day interview that included meeting with the department in question, an individual meeting with the president, related departments, and an all-campus meet-the-candidate session. If it’s higher education, size doesn’t necessarily matter (the previous example was at a university that had 3200 students total). They’re bringing you in, so they want to get their interview money’s worth for the investment.

      2. Jamie*

        I cannot imagine how much money a job would have to pay for me to consider interviewing with 100 people.

  139. AMD*

    This was an exchange called out over a pharmacy counter at the pharmacy I managed.

    “Hi, are you hiring technicians?”
    “Not right now, but if you want to put an application in the system, the next time we are hiring you’ll be in the applicant pool.”
    “Is it full time or part time?”
    “We aren’t hiring right now, but if we do in the future it will probably be part time.”
    “How much does it pay?”
    “Well, like I said, there is no open position right now, but I think the company’s starting rate for technicians is $X per hour.”
    “I used to work here for (Old Manager,) a couple years ago.”
    (Note: Old Manager was fired for flagrantly violating company policy repeatedly and concealing it.)
    “Oh, okay.”
    “So I have ten years’ experience as a technician.”
    “That’s, um, that’s cool.”
    She stared at me expectantly for a minute.
    “We, um, still aren’t hiring right now…”

    She was very aggressive and flat through the whole strange conversation, and it wasn’t until later I realized she was expecting me to offer her higher pay because of her years of experience under the bad manager for the job that, again, WE WERE NOT HIRING FOR.

  140. Pomelo*

    During the candidate’s questions section a guy said “Hey, what’s that a diagram of?”, pulled papers off my shelf and started looking at them.

    Another candidate arrived (late) with their adult daughter who didn’t want to wait outside. They then managed to work opinions about auras, crystals, and chemtrails into a technical interview.

  141. Doralee Rhodes*

    Long time reader, first time writer. Years ago, I had an open requisition and an internal candidate from a related yet separate business group. Let’s call her Lulu. This was my first terrible interview, and I was unsure what to do so I basically took copious notes from her responses.
    Because we worked at a client site, one of the questions I asked centered around how do you handle being “on” all the time as we work side by side with clients? Lulu enthusiastically told me she dealt with this same situation currently, and her best response was hiding under her desk when she saw a particular client manager was approaching. I carefully wrote down “hides under desk”.
    Next I asked described the iterative process designs tend to go through with various client representatives, and asked her if she had been in a similar situation before and how she felt about doing multiple rounds of rework. Lulu told me she burns off steam by going to the bathroom and kicking the large metal paper towel dispenser. I dutifully wrote down “kicks paper towel dispenser in bathroom”.
    I was shell shocked and emailed her current manager and asked for her most recent Annual Reviews. He told me those were private and I could not see them. Uh, dude, we work for the same company. So I got Lulu’s reviews from HR and lo and behold, she had lots of problems “controlling her anger” and “dealing with people”. We had a 5 point scale, and I had never seen anyone get 1’s and 2’s before. Even with all the weirdness I had to defend not hiring her, because internal applicants were given preference. HA!

    1. LBK*

      I love that you just kept taking notes – I’m picturing it like a wildlife observation. I can just imagine David Attenborough’s narration: “Watch as the frightened customer service representative seeks shelter under her desk. The client manager’s request will go unanswered today, but Lulu may not be so lucky the next time he comes around.”

      1. Me2*

        This whole post is killing me but that response, LBK, just sent me over the edge. Could hardly stop laughing long enough to type this.

      3. Doralee Rhodes*

        That’s exactly what is was like. I was scared shitless. Trapped alone in a room with this woman. I guess my last hope was my notes so the police could piece together what happened?

      6. plain_jane*

        Perfect. I have obviously watched too many of these documentaries, because I know exactly how that would sound.

        I think I know what I’m watching again this weekend.

    3. Mkb*

      I wonder if her manager didn’t want to give you the reviews because he was hoping to dump her off on you.

      1. Doralee Rhodes*

        That is ABSOLUTELY what was going on. He kept pressuring me and my manager for weeks, trying to guilt trip us saying he cleared her schedule so she could “go help us”. I work in a small industry so I still see her manager at various events a few times a year. Odd…he has never brought up the incident and it has been about 15 years. He is well known for being smarmy.

  142. Mdme Quillotine*

    (I don’t think I’ve told this story here, but if I did you have my apologies!)

    I never interviewed anyone, but when I worked as a receptionist for a while I had to wrangle interviewees before the hiring manager could come get them. There was one lady who stood out for a couple of reasons.

    Now, we never really got any professional looking applicants so I never really batted an eyelash if our interviewees showed up in shorts or tank tops because, honestly, I’d seen worse. This lady was sort of in the middle. She showed up wearing a fur shrug and with crazy gold manicure. She interviewed all right, I think, because she got the job. Only when she showed up to training she showed up several hours late and the trainer declined to train her, which he was allowed to do. Everyone was on probation until the on-boarding process was done. They’d discussed including her with a later training group until, on the way out she called him a pretty unsavory name under her breath and yet loud enough so that I, the trainer, and another employee heard her. The trainer happily called her back later to tell her not to bother coming back and you would think that would be the end of it.

    The problem was that we were always losing salespeople. It was just a role with high attrition. To be honest, the pay wasn’t all that good and neither were the commissions so people were always moving on to new opportunities. With so many people in and out the door, I guess no one noticed when the lady who we’d just fired applied for ANOTHER job, got interviewed, and was admitted to another training class. I was actually the one who noticed it was her and, naively, thought that the hiring managers had decided to ignore the earlier incident. About half an hour later, the HR guy came by and asked me if it was the same women and I said ‘yes.’

    Well, her behavior hadn’t really improved so she got fired a second time and that was when the wheels came off the bus. She showed up the next day claiming to be a secret agent for the Better Businesses Bureau and Affirmative Action or the and that we were in violation of a whole list of things and she was going to report us. Now, we were WELL AWARE that that’s not how the BBB or Affirmative Action works, but she wouldn’t go away and stay gone. She’d leave for a little while and then come back madder than ever. I know she was waiting for us to get scared into offering her a job, but finally someone pretended to apologize for our trainer’s behavior and she finally left for good.

    …until she had to pick up a check for the two hours she’d worked, but that’s another story.

      1. Mdme Quillotine*

        Haha, okay. It’s not quite as good as the other one. She was of the opinion that she’d worked more hours than she actually had, despite being shown her time card. As I type this, it occurs to me that she may well have expected to be paid for the time she was in the building impersonating an undercover agent.

        To make up for having a fairly boring followup, here’s a second hand story I got from the department chair of my program at school. He told it to my graduating class as we were preparing for our final show as an example of how not to eff up.

        So, he and the provost were interviewing a candidate for something, I don’t recall what job, and it went great up until that last moment. The division chair was very happy with the candidate and was looking forward to working with him. They were just observing the last formalities at that point. The candidate pretty much had the job.

        The thing is, the provost had a question he liked to ask his candidates because it weeded out the real freaks. He leaned forward and said ‘so, what do you REALLY like to do in your spare time?’ and the candidates eyes lit up —at which point the division chair felt his hopes crumble. Have you ever had one of those moments where you do that slow-motion “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” sound effect in your head? It was like that.

        The candidate proceeded to explain how he and his brother liked to get chicken carcasses from the store, boil the bones clean, and make little sculptures of bone and wire in their basement. Just like that, he was out of the running. The moral of the story was ‘be real during an interview, but not TOO real.’

        1. Qmatilda*

          What do you like to do in your spare time: Yoga, food, entertain my animal

          What do you REALLY like to do in your spare time: Sit around and drink wine, moving as little as possible.

          – wow, i’m super boring.

        2. CM*

          I think that’s actually kind of cool. Maybe just the sculpture part and fewer details about bones would have kept him in the running.

          1. fposte*

            Agreed. But the combination of manic intensity and boiling carcasses is a bad end note for anything not on the Food Network.

          2. Mdme Quillotine*

            I think it might have had to do with the look on his face when he started talking. The word ‘feverish’ was used.

        3. Jamie*

          as weirded out as I would be by carcass sculpture, I don’t think I’d know how to react to

          He leaned forward and said ‘so, what do you REALLY like to do in your spare time?’

          if it was as creepy in real life as it’s reading in my head!

  143. Jools*

    I was the lab manager in an academic lab that was hiring a new technician. One of the applicants had been recommended by a friend of mine, though we would have brought her in for an interview on the strength of her resume even without the recommendation. She showed up 15 minutes late (and the professor I worked for only had half an hour available), and even though she only gave one or two word answers to questions about her experience, it quickly became apparent that her resume was grossly inflated, with undergraduate lab classes spun to look like work experience. At the same time, she was happy to talk at length about inappropriate details about her personal life – we learned that she had moved to town for a boyfriend, but that hadn’t worked out, so she was currently couch surfing. After she left, my boss turned to me and asked if I’d noticed the glitter on her cheeks – he’d found it really distracting. I hadn’t noticed anything on her cheeks, but she was wearing glitter eyeshadow, so some must have fallen down.

    Things then got even better. We’d told her at the end of the interview that I was about to leave for a two week vacation, and not to expect a response until after my return. While I was away, I received a friend request from her on Facebook, which based on time stamps was sent simultaneously with a rambling, semi-rude follow up email sent to my work account. When I got back from vacation, the first thing that happened was that all the graduate students in the lab swarmed me to let me know that the weird candidate had been calling repeatedly, and being horrendously rude to whoever was unlucky enough to answer the phone. Needless to say, she didn’t get the job…

    1. HumbleOnion*

      Did you tell your friend about the applicant’s behavior? Curious to hear that reaction.

      1. Jools*

        No, she wasn’t a close friend and life got in the way – I was out of town, then she was out of town, then I had some serious health issues, and by the next time I spoke to her, it was no longer top of mind. I do know that the disastrous candidate moved away a few months later, after not having any luck finding a job in research in my city.

  144. straws*

    We had candidate who was corresponding from a business email. The email address had a different first initial than the name on his resume, but I just assumed he was using a different name (nickname, middle name, something like that). When he showed up to the interview, he was clearly on some type of drug (paranoid movements, drinking nervously from a beat up water bottle, not making eye contact, etc). He had no idea what we did, just had the name of the company and the address. We asked why he applied, and he said he didn’t know, his uncle found the job somewhere and his mom applied for him. It turned out, all of the correspondence we had was with his mother. She set it all up and sent him out to our offices to interview. We now have phone screens before interviews.

    We also had a candidate more recently that, during the phone screen, kept informing the screener of reasons why we weren’t going to hire her. We didn’t, but it wasn’t for any of the reasons she provided.

  145. Lolla*

    For us it was the person who 100% ignored the instructions to NOT come in person and to email a resume (because we were replacing our admin girl before firing her). It was all because she wanted to get a leg up and potentially an on-the-spot interview… like somehow handing us the resume got her ahead of all other candidates.

    The worst part was she didn’t even ask for a manager – she told our admin assistant she was here to apply for HER JOB!

    She even awkwardly hung around for the fall out of the admin immediately marching into the bosses office to confront him and then storming out and quitting on the spot. She then had the nerve to say “I’d be able to get started today if you want” without being interviewed!

    1. Pwyll*

      Wow. This is literally the horror story we imagined when we had to let go of our admin. Insane.

    2. designbot*

      Replacing people who haven’t been fired yet is SO tricky. I’ve never seen it done really well. This is from the other side of the table, but I’d interviewed in that situation before and had to do the interview at a coffee shop because none of the front conference rooms were available, and the boss didn’t want to march me past the guy I’d be replacing.
      I’ve always said that should’ve been my first clue that this place was bananas, but now that I think about it, IS there even a good way to do that?

      1. Sydney*

        I think the best way is to fire, hire a temp (or get others to do the work if possible) and then hire permanently. There’s just no way to keep it secret.

  146. The lazy b (with spaces today for no particular reason)*

    At a previous job my colleague was supporting interviews for board members – so a job that was about two days a month. One person who applied didn’t realise this – he thought it was a full time day job. The kicker is, he was somehow shortlisted for interview.

    When he came in to the interview and realised his mistake he self-selected out of the door.

  147. 2 Cents*

    We had one job candidate come in (not her first job, by a long shot) because on paper, she had all of the skills we were looking for, but she committed just about every interview sin in the book:
    –Outfit was casual leggings and a long t-shirt, like she was running errands on a Saturday.
    –Repeatedly bad mouthed her current employer (like “they’re so stupid, I don’t know how they’re still in business.”)
    –Bad mouthed her coworkers and implied they were dumb and unappreciative of her
    –Admitted that the freelance work she’d listed was “only for family friends” and she “never got paid” because she didn’t bother invoicing anyone
    –Had a previous job listed with no company name and refused to tell us (guess they were unappreciative of her too!)
    –Said she didn’t really like the main job function she was interviewing for, but as long as we could promise she’d never have to do the boring part of this job (which is part & parcel with the job function, no way around it), she’d be OK.
    –Told my boss (who would be hers) that she’d “let you know next week” whether she was interested in working for us. Um, that’s not how that works.
    –On her current work biography, she listed she worked as a clown (uh…) and absolutely believed in the Ancient Alien Theory. And no, she wasn’t joking.

      1. Jamie*

        Me too. A nurse who would go to the children’s wing of the hospital for parties and did other volunteer stuff…even took the classes so learn…clown stuff? She was really sweet.

        That said clowns are generally terrifying and it’s prudent not to scare people with your resume.

  148. Take back your mink*

    At our small teapot label printing business, a very small industry in our town (so if we don’t know each other we know of each other), we had a guy come in for an interview as a printer. He knew the job, since his dad had owned a much larger print shop in our area. We knew of his dad. For whatever reason, his dad sold his business instead of passing it on to his sons, who were well into their forties. I am guessing they had their opportunity. They (the sons), both briefly worked for the new people but apparently it didn’t work out for either of them.

    Anyway, he walks up to the building (where I am holding the door open for him), with a cigarette and hit it one last time then tossed it on the grass before walking in, didn’t greet me, and asked to see the boss. I then heard him in the back, during his tour of our place, loudly proclaim that, “This is nothing [compared to his dad’s former business]. I could run this place by myself.” Yah, and that’s why you are unemployed with excellent opportunities wasted behind you. He also mentioned that his current job was helping his brother do odd print jobs out of his garage. So if his arrogance alone didn’t sink him, knowing that he would have access to our customer list and job specifics certainly did.

  149. STX*

    This candidate was more “memorable” than “bad,” but he’s certainly the worst I ever interviewed. Not only did he highly exaggerate much of the experience on his resume*, but he came to the interview (at a conservative business-casual office) wearing a business suit and red sneakers!

    *IE, his resume said, “Led team to investigate the flow characteristics of Teapot Spouts in a custom-built robotic pouring chamber” while in reality he was not the team lead, he did not design or build the chamber, he did not collect data nor did he do any analysis. Instead he was responsible for designing and building the Test Teapot, which while good experience is not really what his resume conveyed, nor what we were looking for in a candidate.

      1. STX*

        People who have demonstrated that they know the rules, can break them. Sneakers are not “conservative,” much less red ones. He should have saved them for the candidate dinner after work.

    2. Miaw*

      So he assumed ‘business casual’ means wearing business AND casual at the same time? lol

  150. alias_jane*

    Interviewed a woman once who wore a dress that was basically one of those cutesy sailor dresses that you put toddlers in. She spent most of the interview talking about her father, who suffered from dementia (sad) and apparently often escaped the house and defecated on the neighbors’ lawns (did NOT need to know that).

    note: I did not work for an organization that dealt with memory care, the elderly, or anything else even remotely relevant to this conversation.

  151. Kaybee*

    One time we were doing an initial phone screen to fill an internship and one of the students decided to show initiative by SHOWING UP IN PERSON instead of doing the interview by phone.

    We actually ended up hiring her (in spite of that, not because of that) because she was the best qualified of the bunch and, aside from that one big mistake, seemed like a good culture fit. We had a stern talking-to with her about never doing that again, though. I think she had been inundated with bad advice about standing out, etc. She was very apologetic and mortified about the whole thing (we probably wouldn’t have hired her if she weren’t), and ended up being a great intern.

  152. WorkerBee 23*

    In my early 20s I was the receptionist for a manufacturing company. The HR team would interview production candidates in the conference room in the lobby so I got to witness everyone’s comings & goings. The strangest thing I ever saw during the interview process was this tiny foreign lady (she could hardly speak a word of English) come in for her interview accompanied by her very stern, mean-looking husband. He was furious when he was told that he could not accompany her into the conference room during the interview & was instead relegated to sit in the lobby – right across from me. He sneered at me the entire time. She did not get the job. I have no idea what was going on, all I could think of was this maybe a mail order bride situation? It was more than weird.

  153. Jack the Treacle Eater*

    Have you had bad behaviour from interviewers (as opposed to bosses generally)?

  154. Michelle*

    We were accepting applications/resumes for a position in the Cafe of our museum. A woman applied and two days later she called to see if she was going to get an interview. We don’t know yet, we are still accepting applications. I took her name and passed it on the hiring manager. Three days after that she called again. Same thing. This goes on for two weeks. Finally, I told her that the constant calling was not helping her chances and that if she was not going to considered, she would get a letter. She blew a gasket. She went on for a full 20 minutes about her degrees and she couldn’t believe she wasn’t qualified for a job in a Cafe. (Two minutes in, I put her on speakerphone for everyone to enjoy the crazy). When she finally quit talking, I told her that she could consider that her rejection call because we would not be hiring someone so aggressive and volatile to work with us, especially considering how many children we have come through each year. She started cussing and I hung up n her.

    Another applicant came in for her in-person interview (different position) in denim cut-off “Daisy Dukes”, flip flops, see through tank top with no bra & tied into a knot, sunglasses (which she never took off) and hair that looked like pack of rats had slept in it, so she just twisted up on top of her head with those chop-stick hair doodads. She did not get hired.

  155. Kate*

    This first one is from a friend – they were interviewing a candidate for a senior level position, and during the dinner the candidate asked if she could choose the wine – apparently she was very into wine. Sure. So the bill comes, and it turns out the wine was hundreds of dollars. I think she ordered two bottles, so we’re talking $500+ for wine alone (this is NOT the norm in my industry). She was still hired…and then fired a few years later.

    My story isn’t really bad behavior, just annoying. I was hiring for a 1 year entry-level (masters level) research position at a university. The duties included fieldwork in another country. No analysis. One of the candidates had just completed his masters at the university, and during the interview told me (multiple times) that what he really wanted to do was strengthen his analytical skills, and would the job pay for statistical training for him (no, since that wasn’t needed for the job). It came across as “the only reason I want this job is because I think you might pay for me to take classes”. The kicker is that he had taken what we affectionately call “baby stats” during his masters rather than either of the more demanding stats sequences, and he also had very little analytical coursework – which is fine, but maybe don’t ask me to pay for the courses you could have taken last year as a student. He followed up several times, and in each of his emails he asked about whether we would pay for courses (despite being told no). He was not hired.
    *Just want to be clear that I am normally happy to fund professional development and training, but to ask about it repeatedly during the interview, especially when it is unrelated to the position, was super offputting

    1. Stella*

      Haha, not interview-related, but the wine thing happened at a work event planned by my predecessor here. I don’t think anyone ever figured out who at the event had taken the liberty of ordering several $200 bottles. When I started the job I was warned to select wine for the whole table in advance when hosting this particular group, so it wouldn’t happen again.

      1. Artemesia*

        At my organization a fairly comfortable policy for entertaining candidates and such was destroyed by one evening of my boss lavishly ordering expensive drinks and an expensive multi course dining experience for a group at a conference. After that we were nickel dimed to death. It was always embarrassing to take an important job candidate out and know that the limits were stingy. We would choose restaurants that were far from impressive so as not to end up having to pay the bill out of our own pockets.

  156. Kittens*

    A young woman came into the restaurant I serve at on weekends to interview for a host/ess position. Sometimes our manager takes a little while to get to the interview because we’re understaffed, so they usually wait in our very much public bar area. She was generally well-composed, wearing a skirt with bare legs and heels (not actually a problem, my very casual city is often 100+ degrees). I gave her water and made small talk — she seemed nice but a little clueless and thin-skinned…she remarked that everyone here seemed so nice and all her other interviews had been so mean… it seemed a little off but hey whatever I am very friendly…. then she asked if I had any lotion. I told her I didn’t and moved on but don’t worry guys! She found hers in her purse and began to slather thick, heavily scented lotion on her legs! In a restaurant! Other manager saw it and she was pretty much instantly disqualified.

  157. Laura*

    Ok not an interview per se. But my junior year in college, they were hiring a VP of Enrollment and some students were invited to get a feel for the candidates (small campus, you see everybody). While I didn’t get to do that for who the University picked (really great choice though so I had no real complaints.) I did sit in for the session with one of the candidates. She was decent enough.

    However, at the end of the interview, the floor was open for the students to ask the candidate questions. I had to ask for her name. She did not introduce herself at all. Fortunately I was not the only one put off by it. You betcha I brought that up as a concern after the candidate had left!

    1. JB (not in Houston)*

      Wait, nobody told your group who it was? I’ve never been asked to sit in on an interview or meet with a candidate without someone involved in the process telling me ahead of time who the candidate was. Did they just usher her into a room with no introduction? Just “go into that room and ask the person in there some questions”?

      1. Laura*

        The asking questions part was last.

        And regardless of whether or not the committee that wanted student input gave the candidate’s name or not, the fact that the candidate did not introduce themselves by name was bizarre. People like putting names to faces. And the fact that this one did not do that first was a bit weird.

        She went straight into accomplishments/ her schpheal as soon as she was in the room. Unironically perhaps, I don’t remember her name.

    2. Elisabeth*

      Maybe I’m misunderstanding the process, but that seems more like an oversight than a big flaw on the candidate’s part?

      1. Artemesia*

        It was the responsibility of whoever was leading the session to either introduce her or ask her her name. To lay that on the candidate seems inappropriate to me. I know I have never introduced myself to people interviewing me. They invited me, I am thinking they know who I am.

  158. apopculturalist*

    A couple years ago, my company had a job candidate coming in. She arrived about 10 minutes before the interview, and looked/acted professional EXCEPT…she brought someone with her. Her boyfriend, we presumed.

    During her interview, the guy waited in our small reception area and actually FELL ASLEEP while the candidate was away.

    Best of all, she offered no explanation for who he was or why he was there. There’s a million coffee shops/bars/restaurants around here — he couldn’t find somewhere else to be while his girlfriend was in a job interview?

    Needless to say, she did not get the job.

  159. LiveAndLetDie*

    Two old favorites.

    1) I once got a resume for a data entry position from someone who had done a lot of freelance work, but the way she chose to list this work was quite literally a bullet list of situations she had found herself in while reporting, organized in no particular fashion, and including such items as “waited outside for five hours on a hot day near a car containing a dead body in order to report on it for the local newspaper” and “followed police chase for 14 blocks in order to be the first reporter on the scene.”

    2) I once had a candidate for an interview show up over an hour late and then attempt to bully her way into an interview right there on the spot because “at least I showed up.” When I said that I would not reschedule it and that she should consider the opportunity missed, she threatened to sue our company for discrimination, saying that she could tell from her 5-minute interaction that we only hired white people. I never heard anything after that, so I’m assuming it was all bluster, but it was incredibly unprofessional.

    1. Temperance*

      Oooh this reminds me of something I witnessed while shopping at a resale shop. It was a bag sale, so the place was swamped. This very rude, loud woman (who had been blocking aisles/shoving into people etc.) cut the line and demanded to see the manager. He asked her what the problem was, very nicely, and she went on a tirade about how the store is run by racists because “I don’t see a single minority working here”. She then took the opportunity to let him know that her daughter needed a job, and it would be discrimination not to hire her.

      The very nice young man pointed out that *he*, as an Asian man, was a minority, and said that several of the staff working were Latina. She seriously got in his face and said “THAT DOESN’T COUNT.”

  160. Anne (with an "e")*

    I know you say not to take advice from one’s parents; however, in this case I think my mother was spot on. This must have taken place the 1970’s. My mother had a friend whose husband had been laid off. Let’s call the wife Patricia and the husband Richard. Somehow Richard and Patricia had been invited to a dinner party at the house of the owner of a business where Richard wanted to be hired. Richard and Patricia could best be described as acquaintances at best of the host. (It is possible that they went to the same church, but I’m not sure.) Well, according to my mother, the grand idea was that Richard and Patricia would show up at the party over an hour before the event was scheduled to begin. Richard and **his wife!!** had planned to pitch why Richard should be hired by the host’s company. They came prepared with a resume and letters of recommendation. My mother was told about the plan before it was implemented and had advised Patricia against it. However, Patricia and Richard both thought it was an innovative and brilliant plan and went ahead with it anyway. The way I heard it, when Richard and Patricia arrived an hour and twenty minutes ahead of time!!! the hostess was in curlers and not dressed for the pary. The host was not even there yet (playing golf maybe). Richard and Patricia were ushered into the living room where they were served drinks by an employee of the caterer. There they sat for over an hour until the other, more normal guests stated to arrive. My mother said that Patricia felt that the hostess had been very rude to them because they had to sit there by themselves for so long when she knew they were in her house. Richard never did get an interview with the company. Yeah, my mother told me to never, ever do anything remotely like this ever. Good advice, Mom.

      1. SL #2*

        I know! If there’s ever a brilliant example of self-sabotage… could you imagine the doors that dinner party would’ve opened had Richard and Patricia gone and behaved like respectful, charming houseguests?

    2. designbot*

      Whenever one is operating outside of expectations, ask yourself “is it possible that what I am planning to do may create more work/hassle/stress for the person I want to impress?” Do not proceed if the answer is even a “maybe.”

  161. LiveAndLetDie*

    Ah! I thought of a third! Once, to see what kind of candidates we could get, our hiring manager put the job listing for our data entry clerk on Reddit.

    It was the only time they ever did that, first because we got very little response (I think I interviewed 2-3 people) and second because every single person who came in from Reddit for an interview did two things:

    1) Argued that our position should be fundamentally changed from what it actually is because of some bizarre reasoning they had come up with (i.e. “I think this position that doesn’t offer telecommuting should offer telecommuting because other companies do it for similar roles” and “You guys should really consider having this data entry clerk role do more IT work because I have IT experience and I really want an IT job.”), therefore making the interview less of an interview and more of a constant reiteration of why our data entry clerk position was set in stone.

    2) Went back onto the Reddit thread advertising the job afterward to trash talk the company, the location, me as an interviewer, our receptionist as a receptionist, and basically everything else they could think of to say negatively about us, because they had bombed their own interview and knew it.

  162. Crabby PM*

    The worst thing a candidate ever did was to interview with me (he was going to be reporting to me), say that he was fine with reporting to me even though he had extensive experience…. and THEN email my manager and ask if he could meet him for a coffee so they could “get to know each other better.” At that meeting, he asked if his title could be upgraded. It was a little pushy but fine, I had no objection. One day later, the recruiting agency comes back with, “The candidate would like to report to [manager] and not Crabby PM.”

    We wished him well with his job search.

    Also on the list: wildly inappropriate dress (beach sandals, shirts not ironed or tucked in). The candidate who came into the interview room, sighed HEAVILY, and spent 10 minutes pulling out laminated boards displaying websites she’d worked on (this was not a design position), insisting “I find the interview goes better when I can display these.”

    People who showed up early, ‘tailgated’ into the office (despite being given instructions that we didn’t have a receptionist and they were to call no earlier than 10 mins prior to the appointment time from the lobby phone), wandered into executive offices introducing himself and he had an interview could they help him find the person he was interviewing with? DON’T DO THAT

  163. Abby*

    My husband interviewed a candidate in her 40s and mid-career. At his company it is custom that the interviewer escort the interviewee to the next interview. He did so and it was a little bit of a walk (the company building is large). She took a personal call while they were walking to the next interview. It was not an emergency kid is sick at school call, just a regular phone call with a friend (my husband couldn’t help but overhear).

    He reviewed the resume of a candidate for an attorney job who referred to himself as Dr. John Smith. He had a law degree which is technically a juris doctor but that is very very bizarre in the legal field. And no, he didn’t have another degree that would result in being called doctor. He didn’t get an interview.

  164. MechE31*

    We had an interviewee with a Doctorate going for a highly technical new grad role. Everything went great, except no one could get past his neck tattoo that said THUG.

  165. Abby*

    I had a former employee who had been terminated before I was head of the organization. I strongly suspect that he later spent time in a mental institution. He frequently sent me letters asking me to write him a letter of recommendation. I repeatedly stated that I could not (there were some industry reasons I couldn’t) because that wasn’t my role and kept suggesting he contact Dr. X. I believe that Dr. X refused to write the letter because of performance and the person was making a last ditch effort with me.

    He started sending me gifts including a perfume, lotion, body wash set that was called Passion or something like that. It really creeped me out. I talked to my boss and sent it back with a letter stating that I was prohibited from accepting gifts (which was true) and stated that sending me gifts would not change my decision. Fortunately, I never heard from him again.

    I have a lot of compassion for those with mental illness but it got pushy and a little creepy.

  166. LA*

    Oh man, we had a doozy one time. Like, this guy was absolute perfection on paper. In person…just, no. And I was not the only one–everyone on the hiring committee had the exact same reaction. Let me try and list all the weirdness:
    -Super late; like, 40 minutes late. Supposedly because parking was impossible to find, and it *was* finals week, but seriously, that gets you maybe 15 minutes leeway. He could have literally parked at the McDonald’s off campus and arrived maybe 5 minutes late. Or he could’ve called us.
    -Blamed the people at the visitor’s center for not showing him where the library was on the map…we had already emailed him a map, which including highlighted pathways to the library.
    -Fucking crushed my hand on the handshake, and I give a pretty solid handshake. Not cool, dude–you didn’t intimidate me there, you just annoyed me.
    -When asked if he wanted a glass of water or anything to drink, his response was (and I quote): “That’s just the underhanded way of making sure I don’t talk too much.” –WTF?
    -Kept bringing up situations where he’d bested his other coworkers–not just once, but multiple times. Once in response to a question about collaboration, like this was a positive thing.
    -Tried to explain the position he was interviewing for to us.
    -Repeatedly told us that student workers he’d supervised called him “a dictator” and hated him. He was extremely proud of this fact.
    -Turns out he never actually managed student workers, he just worked alongside them. NOT THE SAME THING (and it cast that dictator thing into an even worse light).
    -Told us that his response to a conflict related to a student (that he didn’t manage!) was to go directly to the Dean when he didn’t like the answers he got. That’s like going to the CEO because someone else’s intern did something you didn’t like.
    -Straight up admitted he had a problem with a student worker who had Asperger’s. Not because of anything the student did, but just because he had Asperger’s.
    -Repeatedly described his coworkers as “little old ladies” who “type things very slow”. Complete with hand motions.
    -Was basically dismissive of everyone he’d ever worked with, with the exception of the two people that other people on our hiring committee know of/have worked with.
    -Bluntly informed us that he always has personality conflicts with some people. (not surprised, honestly)
    -Repeatedly emphasized how he uses email/multiple ways of documentation for CYA. No other reason. Apparently every other coworker he’s worked with has been out to get him.
    -Asked us if we had a problem considering him because he has a master’s degree. If we had a problem with that, we WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR AN INTERVIEW (my theory is that is the line he’d been given by other people that decided not to hire him).
    -Told us he assumed that we had not read his resume or accompanying application. Again, how the f*** did he think he got an interview? That we threw the applicants’ names into a hat?
    -Insulted our institution for not using the data recording approach he’s used to. Dude, so not the time.
    -Came in dressed like a grad student, not a professional.
    -So, so many other things I know I’m forgetting.

    None of those on their own would necessarily have been a problem we couldn’t have lived with in exchange for all the knowledge dude brought to the table (and to be fair, he wasn’t lying about his skills on his resume). We were totally willing to write some of it off as nervousness/frazzledness from the parking stuff. But all of it combined? Along with no references from the most recent job he had? Plus, the kicker: when we got his thank you email, it included a “thank you for considering me despite the fact that I hold a master’s degree” line as the closer, after we’d already reassured him multiple times that was a non-issue (a bonus, even).

    The thing is, he really was a perfect candidate on paper. We were all super excited to interview him. So we spent like an hour rehashing the interview immediately afterwards, trying to separate the weirdness of it from all the things he knew how to do that would’ve been awesome to have. But there was no way we could hire him after that train wreck of an interview.

    2. starsaphire*

      I… I’d swear I dated this guy. Or one of him.

      Sub out “ex-girlfriend/ex-wife” for “old job” or “former co-worker,” though.

  167. Mandy*

    I conducted a Skype interview with an Executive Assistant candidate (position supports our CEO and COO). I usually do phone interviews, but she suggested a video chat which was fine by me.

    She started the conversation by apologizing for her voice being a little raspy as she had been sick – that part was fine. Then she proceeded to tell me she also just got her period – that part was not okay. Things got weirder from there.

    During the interview rushed out of my view at one point to turn off her straightener. She also took her computer downstairs and filled a glass of water for herself. Both extremely bizarre and unprofessional things to do during a regular interview, much a video interview. I understand if you’re a little sick and need to pause for a second for water, but you should have the water nearby before you start the interview. Also, as an EA you are representing our executives – I couldn’t imagine her doing that effectively.

    Needless to say, after our call I let her know we wouldn’t be moving forward via a kind email. She was somehow very surprised by this…

  168. Coolb*

    Thought of another one. My then boss and I were both interviewing a candidate for an entry but professional level job. We asked some question in the middle of a routine interview and the buy blanked out. He fixed his stare on some point outside the window and just sat there unblinking for a good minute. We turned to look out the window to see what caught his eye, but there was nothing there. Eventually he seemed to return from his out of body experience and the interview continued. I never figured out if he had some medical condition and this was a form of a seizure or he was just that thrown by the question.

  169. LeisureSuitLarry*

    I almost hate to put this out there, but I’m going to anyway.

    In this situation I was the “bad” candidate, but it really wasn’t my fault. I promise.

    I was in the middle of a career change from accounting to web development. I’d gone through one round of interviews with this company. We hit it off. It was honestly love at first sight. They called me in for a final interview, which was some sort of top-grading BS or something like that. Anyway, the recruiter set up the interview, and I noticed immediately that although me, the recruiter, and the people I was interviewing with were in the same time zone (US-Pacific), he set the interview up for 2pm US-Eastern. I thought it was odd and called him up to confirm that he’d meant Pacific time. He said “of course! If I set it up for 2pm I meant 2pm.” So I let it go. Interview day comes around and at 2pm (Pacific) I show up at the office… three hours late from when the Director of Development had me on his schedule. He looked confused to see me, and I explained what had happened and that I confirmed with the recruiter that 2pm Pacific was the correct time.

    Fortunately, they liked me enough to hire me. Unfortunately, I should have paid attention to all the red flags that were available. They offered the job, and I accepted. The offer letter had me starting on a federal holiday that everyone everywhere takes unless their in retail or fast food. I got that changed. Then I showed up for my first day, the day after the holiday, and no one knew I was coming. The Dev Director and my project lead both said “we knew you’d accepted the job but we didn’t know when you were starting, so we’re not really prepared for you.” They eventually fired me because they didn’t have enough work to keep me busy.

  170. Bethlam*

    To set the stage: I sit at the front desk with a counter to the front. I have one of those desk easel things for holding papers upright, and kept a copy of each interviewee’s resume there for the machine shop manager because he always seemed to lose his copy. So the next guy comes in for his interview, and the manager isn’t out of his previous appointment, so I ask him to wait a few minutes. He makes sure to tell me that he’d already been interviewed by the previous operations manager who really was impressed with his skills and that we really needed to hire him because he really wanted to work for us.

    He either had a cold or allergies because he was sniffling and wiping his nose every couple of minutes with the back of his hand or on his shirt sleeve, EVEN THOUGH there was a box of tissues available. He proceeded to wander all around my office, picking up objects to look at them, touching the photos on the wall, leaning on the credenza to look at the safety cards that are handed out to visitors – basically snotting all over my office.

    THEN! Another employee was showing a local vendor out who does some of our outsourcing, and the candidate overheard them talking and asked the vendor if he was hiring, and then reached OVER MY COUNTER ON TO MY DESK and plucked his resume off my stand to give to the vendor!

    After the manager took him back for his interview I called the custodian and asked her to decontaminate my office, and then told the manager that this guy was blacklisted forever. He called several times after that, always implying that we were making a mistake by not hiring him, but he finally either found another job or just gave up.

  171. KRM*

    Took an interview candidate (for a scientist position, to be in charge of projects) to lunch. My colleague and I said we enjoyed his talk and he said “Oh, I’m sorry you had to listen to that.”. He then spent the next 20′ telling us how at his current job he basically was given a project and he just went off and worked on it by himself and he didn’t have to interact with anyone or report results to anyone but his boss. Given that we work in a highly collaborative biotech company, this was not a plus. He also seemed very surprised when we talked about how much he would have to interact with others, both in our department and in the company, in order to successfully run a project. I ended up telling the hiring manager that his demeanor through the meal seemed to indicate that he didn’t even want the job and didn’t know why he was there.

  172. AEB*

    One guy had been casual referred by a coworker for a PM job. He job hopped a lot, was iffy on the first interview but we brought him back to talk to the boss and requested he do some research on our industry for that interview. Come back, lies to the boss, and had done none of the research.

    Same round of hiring another guy had moved up from LA and just kept talking about how he used to work with or do PR or something with “LEO” you know “Leonardo DiCaprio.” Which he said at least 15 times in 30 minutes.

    Side note, I also once interviewed a guy who looked and sounded almost EXACTLY like Tommy Lee Jones.

  173. pnw*

    Years ago, the office manager and I were interviewing for an admin position. The interview was pretty standard until the end when the interviewee patted the office managers stomach and asked how far along she was. You can guess the rest…

    1. fposte*

      We’ve got a couple of those upthread but yours is the first with an actual stomach pat!

  174. KatSD*

    Had an internal candidate who was 10 minutes late (she only had to walk down the hall..) Plopped down on the chair (no apology/explanation) and proceeded to sprawl all over the conference table during the interview… I was so taken aback the only thing I remember her saying , in response to why she was interested in the position, that her current position was too much work and she wanted one where she could “play online” all day…and didn’t have to answer to nobody.. (It was an administrative support position.)

    Another one was the candidate, who, in response to the question of why she left her previous job – was that she decided everyone was doing things wrong so she’d taken it upon herself to correct them, repeatedly, despite being told by the manager she was the one doing things wrong. She then took it up the chain of “command” and would harangue people on a daily basis. Asked why she thought it was appropriate, she replied that she did this in every job she’d had – analyzed the job and decided that her way was the only way — despite the fact that the industry had clear policies and procedures defined by law.
    The best part of not hiring her was the fact that I’d worked with her in a previous position and she made the job so untenable I resigned. (The fact that my boss, the VP, wouldn’t stand up to her (her being three levels down the ladder) was also a factor.)

    Wasn’t really an interview situation but had an employee work out of class covering LOA’s and wanted the title and pay but not the work. Methodology for getting out of the work was crying and saying everyone was so mean because they expected that she listen to instruction and actually do the work. She pitted manager against manager and stirred up so much drama that people were being called into the director’s office on a regular basis. At least 4 senior level employees tried to work with her to provide training and support but it always dissolved into tears and drama.
    Despite that, when a permanent position opened up, she told everyone that it was hers – so others shouldn’t bother to apply. Upon learning she didn’t get the position she through an actual tantrum and had to be driven home she was so hysterical.

  175. LibraryChick*

    One time I arranged to have a phone interview instead of an in-person one because I knew the candidate lived a fair distance away. Well, in the middle of a 20 – 30 minute interview, I could hear other voices in the background. I asked if everything was okay, and she proceeded to tell me that she was hungry and was going through a fast food drive through. I got to “hold” while she ordered and paid. I was totally appalled and crossed her off my list immediately.

    Another time I had just conducted an in-person interview with a woman who was fantastic. I couldn’t wait to have her on board. Well, after we were done with the interview, we were standing near my office door exchanging pleasantries. She put her hands in her coat pocket, and started to kind of feel around in one of the pockets while this puzzled look came across her face. She then pulls out a huge bag of pot. I don’t know which of us was more surprised. She said, “Is this what I think it is?!” I responded, “Yes, I think so.” She says, “This is my daughter’s coat!” I believed her that it wasn’t her bag of pot and hired her anyway.

    1. Tea*

      This is a day late, but the pot story is absolutely hilarious. I’m glad it turned out well though!

    2. Artemesia*

      Under the circumstances the pot wouldn’t have fazed me but pulling weird stuff out her pocket in front of me probably would have.

  176. Leatherwings*

    Oh, I totally forgot this one. It’s not outrageous but I still remember it to this day.
    I helped screen resumes as an assistant one summer in college. It was just to flag obviously not-qualified resumes and bump up obviously qualified ones, I didn’t make any big decisions or anything. I also sent acknowledgements to anyone who submitted an application saying we receive the app and we would reach out if we wanted to interview you.

    One guy who seemed relatively qualified for a VP level job started following up every single day. I initially He would copy and paste the same exact message at 9:01am saying “I am very interested in X position. Would you tell me if you think I’m a strong fit? Kind regards, First Last.

    Then he started calling me personally twice a day to follow up. Every morning at 9:31am and again at 4:45pm. I had zero insight into the hiring process, and never once answered his calls or emails (my boss told me to just ignore them). After a month of that I finally went in and flagged his resume as “not qualified” and I still don’t feel one bit guilty about it.

    1. Lemon Zinger*

      With his terrible social skills, it sounds like he was definitely not qualified for that job! Yikes!

  177. VolunteercoordinatorinNOVA*

    I think one of the worst interviews I was ever part of was when a woman told us the only negative part of a annual review she had received (this supposedly happened in multiple reviews) was that she wore too many short skirts. She then went on to tell the panel how pants weren’t feminine enough (when a woman was wearing pants on the panel). She was a bit of a mess in general and had some serious boundary issues which would have been bad for the position. She also had a super bad email (I think something with sexy in it and a hotmail address) which made me question why we were doing a second interview with her before she even walked in. I think the worst part about it was that she was probably in her mid to late 50’s so it’s not like she may not have known better?

    1. Expected to pay more than my fair share*

      Age does not guarantee wisdom. Had a secretary at one place I worked you wore a plaid skirt with crinoline and saddle shoes. This was the 80’s and she was about 35 and the head of the secretaries.

    2. Lemon Zinger*

      Age really has nothing to do with it. A woman who works in my office is in her late 50s, but she wears VERY short skirts, club-style shoes, and has a fake tan and bleached hair. We work at a university and I think she tries to dress like the students.

      1. VolunteercoordinatorinNOVA*

        We probably wouldn’t have even known about the short skirt thing as she looked fine in the interview. She didn’t have any boundaries which are really crucial for someone working in social services. . I do really question the manager who thought she was a good fit because after the first question, I knew she was a bit wacky.

  178. Anonymoosetracks*

    We once got a 6-page resume from an older man, who by all appearances had been successful in the wokforce for many years. The first two pages were lists of the names of his wife, all of his children, and their spouses, and the names and ages of each of his grandchildren. Much of the remaining pages were scattered with the various work he had done in his LDS church. It was uncomfortable.

    1. Megs*

      I’ve been working on a document production for a few months now where we are doing a lot of redactions for relevance and HIPAA data. We are also producing a bunch of CVs and it is amazing how much personal stuff shows up. One reviewer found a CV that not only listed the person’s kids’ names and birth dates, but the *children’s* social security numbers. I told her to go ahead and redact those, too.

      1. Rusty Shackelford*

        We received a resume once that had the results of the applicant’s physical attached. I do not really need to know the specific gravity of your urine, but thank you.

  179. Kimberlee, Esq*

    My worst was the person who sent me an 8 page resume that was mostly academic for a campaign management (political) position. He’d studied lots of relevant stuff, but had never managed a campaign before. He made his case in the cover letter that this particular campaign shouldn’t be run by a political person, which was fine but not compelling, so I rejected him. As I hit send, I got an inky feeling and then a few minutes later, my phone range. It was this person, who spent the next 10 minutes arguing with me about the rejection. I was very flat and professional, but he kept arguing, demanded to see the resume of the person we did hire, etc. I think I actually laughed and said something like “of COURSE we’re not going to send you the resume of the person we hired.” Why would you even assume that that was a thing? What company has ever done that ever?

  180. lindsay*

    My spouse interviews a lot of people for AmeriCorps members. When asked “what’s something you’ve done that you’re most proud of?” someone once said, “I can almost do a backflip.”

    1. VolunteercoordinatorinNOVA*

      I once had an AmeriCorps interviewee tell me that his great achievement was learning how to cook and eat an artichoke. Maybe because it was for a food bank, he thought was relevant. I think I blew his mind when I told him you can do them in a microwave.

    2. MissDisplaced*

      Isn’t AmeriCorps for recent high school graduates though? I mean, that’s not an excuse but I would expect these applicants might not have much life or work experience.
      Still though, a backflip? You couldn’t think of anything else you did in school or anything. LOL!

      1. Artemesia*

        This. I can buy ‘I can do a backflip’. That takes commitment and practice, not bad qualities in an entry level worker. ‘Almost’. hmmmm

  181. Librarianna*

    In an interview for a director level position, when a candidate was asked the question “what is your managerial style?” he began with “We were just talking the other day about what a bad question that is…” which told us enough about his management style to know that he we did not want him for the job.

  182. Mickey, like the mouse*

    A candidate for a file clerk position, when asked how he would handle the volume of filing, responded that he was “actually, more of an idea man,” and suggested that he could benefit the organization more by working on “strategic initiatives,” instead of “menial” work. (No, we need someone to file.)

    A candidate for a campus tour guide position, when asked about what had been the biggest adjustment to life at college, responded that he still got lost on his way around campus after two years, and he had trouble meeting people, because he wasn’t good at talking to strangers. (We hired him to do data entry, instead. He was great at data entry.)

    A candidate for a sales position who kept reaching and looking far, far under the conference table. His arm would vanish beyond the elbow, and he would peer fixedly under the table. (In hindsight, I think he was repeatedly trying to check the time on his wristwatch, “subtly,” with longer sleeves than he was used to. But it looked pervy.)

  183. Tour Lady*

    I do a lot of interviewing for part-time, entry-level staff at my non-profit so I’ve got some stories to tell. The story that currently rises to the top is when we were hiring for said kind of position and the interviewee walked in looking like she was interviewing for role of sexy secretary. That was a bit strange but not a big deal. Then she begins saying that she wants this entry-level, part-time position because she dreams of starting a nonprofit of her own one day for children to teach them about spirituality. Oook, definitely not a typical answer to that question. The interview continued to be awkward since she was giving me sexy eyes throughout (I’m a woman and well, this was new to me) and would leave extremely long pauses after questions, to the point where I was concerned that she had forgotten the question.

    And then she said that angels talk to her. Yep. She said that she met with a “very special woman” recently who told her that her dream of opening the spiritual daycare center (or whatever) was her destiny because the angels told her so.

    Did I mention this was a group interview and my other two colleagues were sitting across from us and struggling to keep it together? Honestly, I’ve never been so close to losing it in an interview and I’m so glad we were able to get her out the door before we all lost our shit.

    Yeah, I’m probably going to hell.

  184. WilliamSockner*

    I was one of the interviewers for applicants to our law school journal, and we had some gems that day. Quotes from our interviewees include:

    “I think the journal board should really be able to look inwards and ask “What would Thomas Jefferson do?”.”
    “I really want the law journal to have its own voice, like Jack Kerouac’s in The Road*. Or Allen Ginsberg.”
    “I truly believe that law journals are the last holdouts of justice and truth in a culture overrun by the liberal media.”

    and one person who tried to tell us she’d be good at doing legal research because when she was in middle school band she was second-chair flute. There wasn’t anything else connecting those thoughts, that was just her answer.

    *(He was thinking Cormac McCarthy.)

      2. WilliamSockner*

        I asked him if he meant “On the Road” and he said no, “The Road”. He got the two confused, is what I meant.

        1. WilliamSockner*

          But, for that matter, it was not the getting them confused that made it ridiculous (that was just icing on the cake), it was the idea that he was going to cite Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac as his inspirations for the “voice” of an academic law journal.

          1. Anonymouse*

            Was he going to write the whole journal from a grocery store?

            LEAVE THE DAMN GROCERY STORE, ALLEN!

  185. Duffel of Doom*

    We had someone walk into an interview for a retail job in a new location of our company and announce: “I don’t know HOW you think you’re going to survive in this neighborhood.”

    Spoiler: We didn’t hire him and the new store is doing juuuuust fine.

    Someone else applied to a higher-level position in the same store, and assumed that since we pride ourselves on a minimum wage of X per hour, we would pay that position X. His cover letter started with “Do not contact me unless you’re willing to pay me $60,000.” The rest of his app was full of rants about paying people what they’re worth.

    We didn’t hire him either.

  186. Nes*

    I was interviewing candidates to work on a website managing ad campaigns once our sales team had sold them – one of the candidates spoke at length about how he wanted to move away from this and he wanted to work with an ad agency. It was a bit awkward to realise that not only had he not read the job spec but he hadn’t given bothered to research what kind of company we were.

  187. sometimeswhy*

    A candidate for a position at my first job out of college–scientific consulting, govt contracts, very buttoned up, we had to wear suits even when doing active lab work because someone with high military rank and a multibillion dollar budget might stop by at any moment–came in dressed properly, presented well then… devolved.

    – Not long after the beginning, he started calling the interviewers diminutives of their first names even though they’d been introduced as Mr. Surname and Mr. LastName.
    – About half way through he took his jacket off.
    – Shortly after that, he removed his tie and loosened his collar.
    – He dropped numerous f-bombs.
    – He kept slipping his feet in and out of his shoes. His feet smelled, apparently. About the time the jacket came off, a bunch of us took up watching through the conference room window. The interviewers who could not see his feet made faces every time he did it.
    – At the end when asked if he had anything to add or any questions, he leaned back in his chair, laced his fingers behind his head, and put his feet up on the conference room table before beginning to hold forth on how he could tell he was a really good fit and we could dispense with the formality and just go on ahead and hire him. That would be okay, right Bobby? Bobster? Bobarino? (I paraphrase.)

    I also once interviewed someone who pet my hand–like not just two-handed hand shake which would’ve been bad enough but he STROKED MY HAND–when we shook hands at the beginning and proceeded to give me sexy eyes the whole interview. I declined to shake his hand again at the end.

  188. HDB*

    This answer to “How familiar are you with our company?” is my favorite. The job candidate said “To be honest, I’ve applied to so many places, I can’t keep them straight. Which company is this again?”

  189. calonkat*

    Had a short stint working in the office of a temp company. Had a local manufacturing firm call and need anyone I could get to help unload boxes from trucks the next morning, they’d take anyone (even people they’d fired), their only restriction was “no felons”. Small town, and long ago, so when I called all these high school dropouts and left messages with their moms(!), they all started calling me back from the same party. I was following the song as one after another they called me! Finally one young man, that I had NOT called, called me and asked why I’d called everyone else but not him. I had to explain that he wasn’t eligible, having been featured recently on the front page of the paper as “local man convicted of felonies” (state felonies, he was out on bail).

    His response? “I don’t consider myself a criminal.”

    Unfortunately the state did.

    Better yet, his crime was trying to rob a local restaurant. He got hot during the commission of the crime, took off his t-shirt and left it there. Then answered an ad the restaurant ran and went to pick up the shirt!!! Sigh. He was a nice kid, but lacking some smarts.

    1. Collarbone High*

      I can’t stop laughing at the last part, especially him answering the ad. I would love to know what was going through his mind. “Sweet, I love that shirt! I couldn’t think of how to get it back and look, the answer just fell into my lap!”

  190. AlterKate*

    We received a cover letter that was blatantly ripped off from AAM’s post with the amazing cover letter example. You know, the one where Alison explicitly states: Do Not Steal This Cover Letter. She tried to change a few things around to fit her own job history, but some of the phrasing was word for word from the one in the post.

    2. bridget*

      Please tell me you told her you knew where it came from! I’d pay money to see the blood drain out of someone’s face. I feel like I should start googling phrases of cover letters with quotation marks and see if anything comes up.

  191. Librarosaurus*

    Once, we interviewed two people back to back, who unknowingly used each other as examples in their interviews. We were hiring for a library position in a city that has a library tech diploma program, so we occasionally end up interviewing people who went to school together, particularly if it’s a position for new grads. We had a question about a time the candidate had to deal with conflict in a team situation and how it was resolved. Candidate A used an example from a school group project. It sounded like pretty typical group project conflict, with a particularly frustrating prima donna figure that made the project hard for everyone else. It was an ok example.

    Our literal next interview was…as it turns out…with said prima donna. The colleague I was interviewing with and I exchanged side eyes as we heard the exact same story, but backwards, from candidate B. Even in his own words, he didn’t come out of the story particularly well.

    I’ve never had candidates use each other as examples before or since, but it was amazing. I’ve often wondered if they ran into each other in the hall between interviews…

  192. SusanIvanova*

    Coffeecup made it past the interview process because he put all his skill points in Bluff. He knew everyone, had worked everywhere, spun a most excellent story – and he really had worked those places. Or rather, been employed at those places, because he earned his nickname when it became obvious that I could do more than he did *plus* everything I was already doing just by having an extra cup of coffee.

  193. Pwyll*

    You guys keep reminding me of crazy things that happened that I’ve long-since forgotten:

    The interviewing team was given the resumes and the times and told they had been setup already and that we just needed to decide which of the three was best. Great, no problem. We’re having a great interview with someone very smart, who has lots of wonderful experience and is poised and put together, when we hit a lull and he suddenly responds, “So, I have to ask, I’m surprised that you’re willing to interview me. I’m assuming you don’t mind my past?” Everyone is confused. “You know, why I got fired from my last job as (important job here).” Finally, one of us says they weren’t aware of his firing and asks him to explain. Naturally, now he’s kicking himself, but he says he was fired for a drug problem but has since been through therapy and has been clean for 6 months.

    To be honest, I wanted to give the guy a chance, as he clearly screwed up in the past but seemed to be trying to get things back together. Sadly, we googled him. News story after news story after news story. Definitely was not in rehab due to the timeline. It pains me not to give details, but let’s just say he almost ODed in the office, after letting in his dealer who made off with dozens of computers.

  194. kay tee gee*

    First comment ever, because this story has got to get told.
    For my old company, we used to do an info session with several candidates (after phone screen) and then a happy hour after. The company paid for their drinks, but we told them, if you buy food, you pay for it. Sometimes people bought food, not often, but they always paid and we never even thought about it being a problem.
    Until one fateful day when an interviewee bought dinner and walked the tab. We still talk about it.

      1. kay tee gee*

        No idea actually. I wasn’t involved in hiring, just required to attend the info session. But I would love to know… ha.
        I also had a woman turn to me during the happy hour and say “excuse me, I have to check my Twitter.” Girl, bye.

  195. MissDisplaced*

    I was hiring for an Art Director position. I had one guy come in who looked really good on paper and had a good portfolio. But during the interview, when I began asking him more technical questions about which software he uses, what steps he would take to complete a typical job, etc., he said that he “didn’t do that stuff himself,” and just drew his ideas out on paper and expected the graphic designer and production artists to complete them.

    This was around 2005, so I kept thinking, “Dude learn to use a computer already!”
    We were a small company, with a small art department. Everybody needs to do everything.
    So. Not. Hired.

    1. SusanIvanova*

      I worked at a company that merged with another one that was very old-school in their approach to software engineering: the PhDs did the thinking, and the minions wrote the code. That this approach doesn’t work very well was why they’d acquired us, though that wasn’t the spin they put on it.

      Our team, of course, was full of people who could have deep thoughts *and* implement them. Their side was responsible for HR screening and re-writing our job descriptions so we kept getting theoretical PhDs in interviews no matter how much we begged for practical people.

  196. Rae*

    I was hiring internally and had an application from a woman in a different department. I hadn’t worked with her or really knew her at all so I checked in with her current supervisor to see what he thought of her work. He said she was a hard worker but could be “odd to deal with” and probably wouldn’t be a good fit for our client facing position. We still took the time to interview her and odd was an understatement. Making small talk beforehand, she mentioned she had noticed I’d looked really tired lately (great!) and that I should consider eating chocolate to replace any minerals I had lost during menstruation. So off to a great start. When we asked where she she saw herself in five years she told us in disturbingly graphic detail about her need to be married and have a child before her eggs went bad then turned and looked me dead in the eye and ended with “that’s something you should really consider, you probably don’t have much time left.”

    1. Camellia*

      We should probably start a thread that is just “Weirdest Words You’ve Heard in an Interview”.

      “Menstruation” and “eggs [going] bad” are a really good start!

  197. Mkb*

    The recruiter for my company received a very odd looking package in the mail, it was a mannequin arm (with a shirt sleeve on it) and a note saying “I’d give my left arm to work at your company.” This was for a VP role. He did not get the job.

    1. Some Random Dude*

      Hope he removed the mannequin’s middle finger, wrote “off” on it and sent it back to the applicant.

    2. EmilyG*

      Do you think he used the whole mannequin? And sent letters to other companies saying he’d give his right arm, left leg, right leg, etc. to work at their companies?

  198. Caroline*

    When I worked as a receptionist, we had a guy who was completely unqualified for the position he applied for come in to the office every other day asking about the status of his application. From the beginning he seemed a little off. He would insist on meeting with the hiring manager, and if I told her she was busy he would sit in the lobby and wait until she would come out and tell him she couldn’t meet with him that day. He never got the hint, and this went on for about 2 weeks. Each time he got more loud and aggressive, to the point where he walked behind my desk to find “where I had hidden his application” because he was sure if the hiring manager had seen it he would have gotten an interview. At that point the owner asked him to please leave and never come back, and I asked to have a panic button installed under the desk.

    1. Elizabeth West*

      Gah!

      I had a random vendor for one of those candy machines–you know, the ones that have Runts or Hot Tamales in them–yell at me once at another job. He asked if he could install it in our break room. I said sorry, but the company wouldn’t allow them, and he started getting very nasty and then banged out the door. It was so rude one of my coworkers popped up over the cube and was like, “OMG.” 0_0

  199. Xarcady*

    A couple stand out.
    The guy who was scheduled for an interview at 2:30 pm. Who showed up at 10 am because he “was in the area and thought he’d stop by and see if he could be interviewed earlier.” Um, nope. And in the area? We were in a small town about 45 minutes from any large city, and his address was clearly for a city at least an hour away. Said small town was simply not a place you would be, unless you had to be there.

    All he had to do was pick up a phone and call and ask to change the time, if that’s what he needed. At 10 am on that particular day, all the managers were in their weekly meeting. Maybe he had to grab a ride with someone, or take the bus, or something. But he was offered a choice of interview times/days, and we were pretty flexible, so showing up out of the blue like that was weird.

    Another candidate: if you want a job, perhaps showering and washing your hair before the interview would be a good first step. Or maybe just combing your hair? And I know we all don’t have interview suits, and some of us don’t have new clothing, but wearing faded, very wrinkled, ill-fitting, worn-out cotton knit top and skirt, that don’t go together, and possibly had food debris on them, and the top reveals your bra straps? Nope. It was a casual office, but employees were expected to wear clean clothing that didn’t look as if it had been in the bottom of the laundry basket for the past month.

    Although what canned that candidate was the two page, single-spaced resume–that had a different job on every line. She hadn’t yet found her “soul match” job, whatever that is, and so she changed jobs every 3-4 months.

    And the last one. I was at the reception desk, filling out a FedEx form. Guy walks in, clearly the interviewee I have scheduled for an interview in 10 minutes. He proceeds to walk up to the reception desk, shoulder me aside, inform the receptionist that he is here, and he’d appreciate being seen immediately. Hands his coat to me and tells me to hang it up, but since it is snowing out and some flakes fell on the coat, to leave 6 inches of space on either side of the coat so it could dry. Clearly, he was a big shot, and the sooner we knew that, the better.

    When the receptionist gave him the proofreading test all applicants have to take, he responded that he didn’t need to take it. Receptionist showed him to empty conference room to take the test, he reluctantly sits down. Demands cup of coffee with two sugars and cream.

    He gave the test to the receptionist after he was done, and she called me. Look on his face when he realized who I was? Yep, priceless.

    That’s the candidate who clued me in that checking with the receptionist to see how each candidate treated her was a good idea. Our small company did not need industrial sized egos like that.

  200. alice*

    I have two – these were both for the same internship position.

    The first guy, within minutes of sitting down, pulled out his phone and started what appeared to be web surfing while I was telling him a little bit about the position before asking questions. I stopped and waited for him to acknowledge me and possibly apologize. He then showed me pictures on his phone of him at his current job (he was in some sort of home improvement) and went on and on about how proud he was of that job. That interview was about ten minutes long.

    The second guy was out of state. When he applied, I didn’t realize this, but he told me when I wanted to schedule an in-person interview. He was super excited about flying out to meet us. This was for an unpaid internship with no guarantee of a full-time position once it was over. I explained this to him, wondering why anyone would want to move for an unpaid internship. He explained that he was planning on moving to our city anyway about a month, so this was no big deal. I thought it was weird, but we decided to interview him anyway (the date was scheduled two weeks out I believe). This guy’s professor called us the next day, emphasizing what an amazing person he was. Okay, that’s also weird, but nothing horrendous. After interviewing the candidate, we decided he wasn’t a good fit. The professor called us again demanding to know why we had passed up on such an excellent candidate and emphasizing how he had spent an enormous amount of money interviewing with us and was counting on the position. Again, it was unpaid. I still have no idea why he wanted this internship so bad.

  201. Lissa*

    The importance of proofreading your resume was definitely highlighted in one I got when working a retail job. Instead of “Peer Tutoring” the poor kid had put in “Peer Torturing.” While, yes, that is a common high school activity, I’m not sure it’s quite what we’re looking for…

    There was also the guy who put “masterpimp69@hotmail.com” as his resume email address.

  202. Basiorana*

    We had a candidate for a quality engineering role. She was good on the phone, but seemed a little nervous in person. So interviewer A asks about an accomplishment, and she reaches into her purse and pulls out three enormous, elaborate scrapbooks. She proceeds to show them off and talk at length about them. They had nothing to do with the industry or anything.

    Interviewer A doesn’t have time to properly warn Interviewer B, but B had different questions anyway. B asks about overcoming a challenge.

    Out come the books. Cue another 10 minute response, showing off her scrapbook skills.

    B ends a little early and grabs Interviewer C. He is laughing, right behind me, warning C about this. A sits near me and comes over when he sees them, and apparently texted C a warning.

    C, the hiring manager, goes in and is SUPER careful to clarify “at work” for her questions. She eventually asks a technical, quality question and out come the dang books because the interviewee wants to discuss how she used x process. Which was a stretch.

    Last interviewer is HR. They all know by now Scrapbook Lady is not getting the job, but HR is genuinely curious. HR, not being an engineer, is focused on interpersonal skills, fit etc. He asks his questions, with lots of chances to bring up the scrapbooking. Nothing. He says later he was beginning to think she’d figured out they were a lead balloon, and he asks her about some time she had to develop a weakness to accomplish a goal, and… Bam. Scrapbooks.

    Best part was the hiring manager concluding with “I have six county fair medals and run a scrapbooking club and even ‘I’ didn’t bring my scrapbooking up as an accomplishment in interviews!”

  203. Colin*

    1. Looking at a resume on my computer, saw links on various sentences in the job descriptions. When I followed the links, saw they were to sample resumes online. The applicant’s software must have put in the links when he pasted them.

    2. Had the boyfriend of a rejected applicant show up to the office to yell at the hiring manager.

    3. I was the first interviewer for an intern that would be reporting to me. He was not qualified, but when I told him that and that he should apply next year for a full time job after graduating, he refused to leave and started crying. He wanted to interview with other people, even as I’m making it clear that he would report to me and that I did not want him. After about twenty minutes, I managed to get him into the elevator. Needless to say, he was put on the “do not interview list”.

  204. NiceOrc*

    I was the bad interviewee for this one. It was a good interview, went well, interviewer said she would walk me out and as we were walking down the stairs she asked me some casual questions (weather etc) which I realised was still part of the interview. She mentioned my sister, who worked for the company but in a senior position and not in the area I was applying for. For SOME REASON, my brain thought this would be a good time to say that I knew the interviewer’s daughter was the same age as my sister’s daughter (2) and her name was Xxxx. The SECOND I finished saying that I knew the interview was over and I should just throw myself down the rest of the stairs. (No, of course I didn’t get the job!)

    1. Camellia*

      Honestly I can’t see the issue here. She is the one who brought up your sister. I’d be thinking, oh yes, my sister, and her daughter is the same age as your daughter! I can’t see the problem. Is it just that mentioning children in an interview for ANY reason is a no-no?

      1. Anon Moose*

        Right, I guess if there wasn’t already a personal connection, then it would probably come across as creepy that you know the interviewer’s child’s name and age- you are showing too much google-fu. But it seems pretty reasonable that you could have gotten that info from your sister, who you probably had a conversation with about the interview?
        “Oh, you have an interview at my company! Good luck! Who is doing it?”
        “Catelyn Stark”
        “Oh, great. I don’t know her that well but I hear good things. She seems pretty nice but strict. Sometimes we talk about kids. Her daughter Arya is the same age as my Myrcella.”
        Pretty innocuous (well, without the GOT references).

      2. Sadsack*

        I think it might be weird if the interviewer never mentioned her daughter, which I am guessing she didn’t. Sounds a little creepy, like “I know your child’s name and age” out of no where. I feel bad for NiceOrc because I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way!

  205. JWowza*

    Oh my…one of the ones that I’ve been an interviewer for that sticks out in my mind is a lady who looked great on paper but majorly lacked common professional decency. She showed up looking like she rolled out of bed then proceeded to tell us that she *had* to keep her phone next to her in case her daughter called. We all thought it was weird but maybe there were extenuating circumstances or something. Who knows. It just went downhill from there…
    Every time we’d ask a question, she’d let out this really high pitched, super loud, nervous-ish laugh which kept visibly startling one of the interviewers (to which a couple of us were trying not to laugh at the other interviewer’s reaction). Our questions were pretty standard, no curve balls, and really not funny in any way. We were puzzled.

    Next when we asked her why she was interested in the job, she answers, “Well, my business isn’t great right now and I really need to figure out what I’m going to do for retirement.” I guess she gets points for being direct?

    Another question was behavioral in nature asking about how to handle difficult customers. I don’t remember the whole monologue she went into except that “you know, if a customer gets in my face I just may have to get in their face right back and sometimes it may come to blows.”

    Weirdest interview I’ve ever been in. All of us were stunned into silence for a solid 5 minutes after she left. Then we couldn’t stop laughing at how super, super awkward it was the entire time.

  206. Beth*

    We took another look at a resume for a candidate we’d schedule for an interview with some trepidation due to his inexperience . Our recruiter liked him on the phone but he just didn’t pass muster when we reviewed his CV or the assignment he’d prepared. I emailed him to cancel the interview we set up with an explanation of the type of candidate we actually needed at this time, experience wise. I thanked him for considering us and wished him well. Apologized even for having the interview booked and now cancelling. His reply came by email immediately: “Cool. I want to work for an employer who has their shit together. Good luck.” Thank god we didn’t bring him in and waste our time. I need to trust my instincts. This guy should never have made it to the interview stage and that was my fault. But we really dodged a bullet.

    1. Miaw*

      The candidate shouldn’t have showed his displeasure so openly, but I sympathize with his sentiment. If you thought he’s unqualified from his cv, you shouldn’t have wasted his time by giving him an assigment.

      1. SusanIvanova*

        It might’ve been the combo that disqualified him, though. Lots of people who have borderline CVs turn out to have potential worth investing in. The reverse is true, of course, and that’s what the assignment is for.

  207. ElizzyBeth*

    The biggest problem I have when searching for new employees are the ones who fail right away because they can’t follow basic instructions. For instance, last year we put out an ad that was very purposefully crafted as a test to screen for people who could read directions and had the technical skills we wanted. It was pretty simple – we asked for resumes in PDF format only, sent attached to an email. The cover letter/inquiry was to be in the body of the email which was to be plain text. This is a very simple screening, so we thought. These are representative of tasks we perform nearly a hundred times per day and I needed to know they can do it and understand what that means. We decided ahead of time that any email that didn’t meet those basic requirements was immediately ignored. We did NOT state that in the ad, though. We wanted them to figure it out on their own.

    Well, we received over 500 emails… and only FOUR people actually managed to send an email that fulfilled both requirements. Most people attached a Word document with both the letter and resume in the file, and the body of the email said “see attached” – or they neglected to use plain text. A lot of them said things like, “I’m attaching a Word file because I don’t know how to make a PDF file.” That alone screams, “I don’t know what I’m doing!” Hint, people: In Word, as well as other word processing programs, you can easily save the file in PDF format. If somebody doesn’t know that, then I know they don’t have the skills I need, or they can’t be bothered to take about 5 minutes and figure out how to do it. The way I see it, this is a job application. You are trying to impress your potential employer and convince them to notice you. Don’t tell them how much you suck because you are wasting everyone’s time! Unfortunately, while those four followed directions, two of them were applying for the wrong position (one we don’t even have at our company), and the other two weren’t even remotely qualified. We decided to wait six months and try again. We got similar results the second time, too. Ultimately, my boss ended up hiring somebody another way, via word of mouth referral in a professional networking group. However, she told the person to do exactly what our ad did – told her to send me an email so I could schedule the interview… and that person passed the test. Whew!

    After years of headaches, I’ve found this small test to be a fantastic screening. It actually makes some people mad. They apparently get insulted or think we don’t really mean it. Some of the responses in the application emails are hilarious.. Some actual quotes from applications I’ve received (all of them in the NO file):

    “Plain text? Who uses plain text in their email anymore?”
    “I think plain text is ugly. I can’t show you my personality.” (This was an email with absurd, unreadable curly font, about 10 colors, and she attached a copy of her head-shot.)
    “One of my best strengths is my ability to comprehend complicated instructions and follow them perfectly.” (The email was in plain text, but the attached resume? He sent TWO copies of it, one RTF and one plain text.)
    “Please visit my website at *loonyfruittoons-dot-com* to download my resume. I don’t use email attachments.”
    “I’m attaching a copy of cover letter. Below is my resume.” (The cover letter was a DOC file.)

    1. Steve*

      Your successful response rate was so low, it makes me wonder if your instructions were as clear as you thought they were?

    2. Mr. Meeble*

      I’m a computer programmer with 20+ years of experience, and pretty much every email client I use defaults to HTML instead of plain text. In fact, off the top of my head, I’m not sure how I would send a plain text email in either of the two clients I regularly use. Also, many people might not know what you mean by “plain text”. That might mean no bold, no formatting, no color, etc. to a lot of people who don’t know that email has many formatted.

      I totally get that you want a “clever” test to weed out people, see if they’re paying attention, etc. But this one seems like it might not work to your advantage, needlessly weeding out good candidates who got tripped up on the vagaries of your requirements.

    3. Hershele Ostropoler*

      Way late to the party, but … if there aren’t specific instructions, I’ll e-mail the cover letter, with my resume attached as a PDF. If had been responding I’d have been fine even if I’d overlooked the instructions. So I’m particularly boggled that people were having trouble with this. Is that not standard procedure?

      (Moreover, I’d assume that any instructions in the posting about how to apply are intended to be followed. Again, is that unusual?)

  208. SomeoneLikeAnon*

    I interviewed a woman who spent the whole time complaining about how she did not like being a manager. She hated listening to “people’s drama” and “cleaning up their mess.” This was a technical position and she admitted that her knowledge wasn’t only rusty, but nearly 12 years old. I’m fine with people saying they need some time to get up to speed, but if you’re looking for a technical position, at least brush up on the concepts and tools beforehand. During the interview, she reacted to one of the questions with an angry “I don’t want to do that!” and started to get up to leave then immediately sat back down and acted like it was all a joke. I cut the meeting short and emphatically recommended that this person not continue further in the process as she clearly was not a team-player and would be a horrible fit to the company.

  209. Ruth*

    I was helping interview for my replacement (weird situation) and one of the people who applied was someone who’d applied for the job back when I’d been hired (I was leaving after only 18 months). Apparently she was quite qualified but had been a little dodgy the last time around, talking a lot about her current job and how they’d have to make some changes if they wanted to keep her. The hiring manager suspected she was using this interview to get herself a raise or something in an “I have other options” way.

    But she was also even more qualified now than before and she was local. So, she got offered an interview. The day before, she emailed us explicitly stating that since she’d been able to use the threat of this interview to get what she wanted from her manager at work, she wasn’t going to be able to make it. …I sort-of get what she was doing but at the same time to be so open about it instead of some polite lie… she got blacklisted from the company’s HR after that.

    1. Ruth*

      Oh and in the same interview cycle, we got a guy who didn’t want the job, he wanted the job of the guy I was paired working with (one teapot wrangler, one programmer) or he wanted that guy as his mentor. He kept talking about programming instead of teapots. We had to say “look, it’s teapots ALL day long for this position” and he kept saying things like “I think if we work together we can make some really amazing code and I want to learn everything he knows about code” and we kept having to say “yes but we’re not hiring him a programming buddy, do you have any interest in teapots because you’ll be minding teapots all day long!” … the worst was that the company head took a like to him because he was a shiny go-getter (just not about teapots!) and got rather upset when he got put at the bottom of our list.

  210. ElizzyBeth*

    Oh! I’ll actually add a story that happened to a good friend of mine. She landed an interview at a college, regarding a job working with a Dean. She had gone through several interviews, both via phone and in person. She had an accident and was on crutches after a surgery during this process. She had a temporary disabled placard. Anyway, she was called in to the HR office to take a series of exams, pretty normal stuff. She didn’t know that there was construction outside the HR office, so she arrived and couldn’t find a place to park in a handicapped spot, or anywhere close by. She called the HR office and said she was outside looking for a place to park but might be delayed because she’s on crutches. The HR woman tells her, “Look, you get here no later than five minutes prior to your appointment or I will shut down the exam. No exceptions. You should have known to give yourself more time, you know the rules.” Now, this was actually still about 30 minutes before her appointment, she was just calling to alert them that she was coming, she just was having some trouble.

    She ends up stopping outside the campus police dept and tells them she can’t find a place to park because of construction, explaining. The campus police offer to take her over in the golf cart, which was really nice. She gets there in plenty of time, about 15 minutes to go. She signs in and the woman tells her she canceled the appointment because she thought she couldn’t get there in time. My friend said she never said any such thing but said it didn’t really matter, she was there and ready to go. The HR lady says they can’t do it because she already shut it down and marked the file as a no show. I guess once that happens in their system, they don’t have a way to fix it. So she left there without being able to take the tests. She came over to my house in tears over it, wondering how they could be so rude and ridiculous.

    She then called the Dean’s office to explain what happened. The Dean said they decided she was no longer in the running because HR told him she had ‘severe difficulty with communication skills’.

    Ultimately, she decided to just let it go because she figured she didn’t want to work for anyone that stupid. Thankfully, she found a job at a different college about two weeks later. She later learned that the HR at the first school are notoriously rude to people and they’ve been the subject of quite a few federal complaints lately regarding hiring practices. As far as she’s concerned — they did her a favor.

  211. newlyhr*

    whoa, I have seen some strange stuffin my years working at a staffing company
    1. the girl who kicked off her shoes and put her bare feet on my desk while stating how much better that felt
    2. the guy who winked at me and said, “if I pulled a gun out right now I bet you would give me a job, right? (he got escorted out by law enforcement protesting that he was “just kidding and why can’t you take a f****** joke?”)
    3. the girl who called her mother in the middle of the interview to ask her the answer to one of my questions.
    4. the mother who told me she would come in and interview for her son because “he’s not too good at interviews and I can tell you everything you need to know about him.”

  212. Merida Ann*

    I was on a hiring committee to fill two openings for the same transportation position with a government agency – one person had been fired (for some pretty serious issues) and another left for health reasons, both within the last month. Lo and behold, the guy who had been fired applied and (somehow) was given an interview.

    I have no idea why HR didn’t dismiss him right off the bat, but being in government, we were told that we had to interview everyone that HR sent through. Additionally, we had to ask the exact same questions in every interview and couldn’t deviate from our script. (UGH!) So we weren’t allowed to address the elephant in the room of “Why the heck are you applying for the job we just fired you from?!” and had to try to act like it was a normal interview.

    Anyway, he answered every question with examples from working with us before he was fired, but he talked about it like it was somewhere else. As in “I previously worked with a government teapot agency in [city], where I worked as a driver transporting teapots between the agency’s two campuses and delivering tea leaves to the testing facility.” We were the only government teapot agency within a 200-mile radius – even if he had interviewed with people who hadn’t been working with him previously, it would have been obvious he was talking about our facility.

    It was so awkward. He wouldn’t look any of us in the eye the whole time. The whole thing was just a very weird, uncomfortable waste of time.

  213. Kiki*

    I was on a panel going to resumes. The others found one where the email contact was the equivalent of JediMaster@Teapots.com They were throwing in the “no” pile and laughing but I knew who it was and this person really WAS a master of teapots. Couldn’t believe we had a resume from that person! I had to do some fast talking to keep that resume in the mix. Sadly, our Jedi found a better job that we had to offer. The Force was not with us.

  214. KimberlyR*

    We recently had a candidate come in to the interview and immediately try to take charge (“Ok, let’s get started! How are y’all doing today?” etc.) She lied about being told the salary range before the interview when she spoke with HR-she said she wasn’t told anything at all-and pressed me to tell her how much I make (she would be replacing me in my role.) When I refused to tell her, she asked if it was at least enough to pay a house note. I called our HR Director immediately after the interview and she said they had gone over the salary range more than once prior to her interview.
    The person interviewing her with me is well known in our industry and when I introduced him, she had an expression on her face that made me think she knew of him, so I asked her, but she denied ever hearing his name. Later, through conversation of mutual people they know, it came out that she had heard of him. She even spoke with him in depth about a lot of people they know in the industry. I asked why she said she hadn’t heard of him, and she said she just wanted to see if it would come up in the conversation (???)
    She repeatedly spoke about the six figure company she had started (that had to close because the industry is in a huge recession) and how much money her company had been making. This job is somewhat entry-level and is nowhere close to being a six figure income. Since I know she did discuss salary ranges with HR, it left a bad taste in my mouth.
    After she left, the guy I interviewed her with said he liked her. I looked at him like he was crazy and said “You know she lied, right? Multiple times? Why would you like her??” He couldn’t give me a good answer. Obviously, I made sure she was removed from consideration.

    1. KimberlyR*

      Sorry for not leaving an empty line between each paragraph. I failed at formatting today…

  215. Ging*

    Our mid-sized home building company had an admin opening. Our favorite candidate was qualified on paper, but we should have been tipped off by her email address – butterfliii@ and the fact that she touted her skill with operating a CoinStar and Lottery machine in the skills section of her resume. She arrived for her interview in jeans & flip flops, chewed gum and twirled her hair while bouncing in her chair. The icing on the cake was when we asked her where she saw herself professionally in 5 years and her answer was a SuperSonics dancer.

  216. Hooptie*

    Not worst or weird…

    I was interviewing a young man whose mother worked for the company. When I asked him, “Why do you want to work here”, he responded with, “I don’t. My mom wants me to.” That was the LAST courtesy interview I ever did.

  217. Duffel of Doom*

    Can’t believe I forgot to mention this one:

    I had a phone-screen scheduled with a dude who’s Gmail profile picture showed as a video, so I clicked to watch it (I had no idea you could set video avatars!). It seemed like it was supposed to be funny, but wasn’t, so I clicked to the next one to try to figure this guy out. It was a porn video. Of him. Getting a blowjob. From a topless woman.

  218. Alli525*

    Once I was interviewing candidates for a quick temp job – 3 months mostly part-time. My company at the time used a temp agency, which theoretically exists to weed out the weird ones… they did not. They sent someone in who was a male in what I’d say was his 40s, and very much a dandy. (My team was all young women in a conservative industry.) None of that was a red flag, but ALL he could talk about is how much he loved working for women, serving under women, doing whatever women tell him to do. My team and I interviewed him in 3 groups of 2 people each, and all 3 teams came to the independent conclusion that it sounded like he was looking for a domme, not a job.

  219. Andrew*

    One of my coworkers once received a super long cover letter that included the fact that the candidate had been proudly celibate for several years.

  220. Kenji*

    When I was in grad school, I interviewed a young lady for a summer technician position. She absolutely killed the first 3/4 of the interview – enthusiastic, experienced, knowledgeable – until I asked her to give me an example of her ability to improvise when equipment breaks down in the field. Her bright, enthusiastic response? “Oh, I’m a farm kid! I’ve got plenty of practice [EXTREMELY offensive N-word] – rigging.” Needless to say the interview lasted about another two minutes, most of which was ringing silence on our end of the phone.

    The kicker? After I turned her down, she sent me a polite, professional email requesting feedback on how she could improve her interviewing! When I explained that that word was not acceptable, ever, in any circumstances, work related or not, she was completely confused. She’d never left the rural area of the country she grew up in, and appeared to genuinely have no idea how her vocabulary sounded to the rest of the world.

    1. ArtsNerd*

      Ever since I heard that particular variant on the term (in my 20s) I stopped even saying “jerry-rigged” because I assumed that it was a ‘polite’ evolution of that horribly racist version, and couldn’t get the implications of that out of my head. Only just now have I looked it up and discovered that it’s totally innocuous with roots in sailing terms.

    2. Karo*

      You know, I had a colleague use that phrase with me once and when I told her it was inappropriate she was baffled – and repeated it several more times. She didn’t see it as saying the N-word, she saw it as no different than saying “makeshift repairs”. Like, she had never actually thought about what she was saying or parsed the words out. She was a pretty horrid coworker in many ways, but this was the cherry on top of the sundae.

  221. DC*

    I recently received a resume from an intern candidate that said they had extensive experience in subject A. Needless to say, it clearly wasn’t extensive.

    Our organization also hired someone, who accepted but then turned down the job a few days later- annoying but we found someone else. About 4 weeks later the initial candidate called the reception desk easily 15-20 times in an hour constantly asking for different people, asking to see our HR policies, and asking to speak to legal. It was INSANITY.

  222. Amanda R*

    A friend of mine who did interviewing for a high-end grocery chain had a couple of doozies:

    1. The guy who came to his interview sweaty, in shorts and a tank top, because he’d come straight from a sand volleyball game. (This post suggests this sort of thing is way more common than I’d expect, but… seriously? Why do people schedule workouts or sports right before interviews, without taking like five minutes to change clothes and towel off? It boggles the mind.)

    2. The guy who had a really solid interview… except for the part where he constantly referred to the company by the name of its major national competitor. Every time, apparently. He realized halfway through, apologized, and just left the room, because I suppose at that point you can’t salvage it.

  223. QOTM*

    I’m late to this but I need to add to the record.

    I was asked to interview an engineer candidate for the technical team that supports my digital teapots team. We are a Fortune 100 company; he wore ripped jeans, tshirt, a black leather biker jacket with many zippers and metal accoutrements, and unlaced boots. His resume was several pages long, with many stints of 3 months or less. In trying to understand if this was a normal cadence of short contract assignments or job hopping, I asked him to talk about why he had been changing jobs so frequently. Without hesitation he explained that he often found a new job boring after a few weeks so he would leave, and that he often would ask for a raise a few weeks into a new job and would leave if not given one. Following the interview, a colleague walked him out to discover that he had deposited a lady friend in the lobby to wait during his interview, who was dressed in a very short, very tight dress and extremely high heels described by my colleague as looking like she was about to go clubbing. We did not hire this person.

    Second place: Phone screen of a project manager candidate. His resume contact information was out of state and it was a contract role, so our first question was to clarify why he was applying for a contract role so far from his location. In an incredibly long and rambling response he talked about having residences in three states that he rotates between, and that he was planning on moving back to his place in our area. Odd but not a huge issue, except it took many minutes to convey 20 seconds of information. Next question was why was he leaving his current role, which resulted in an even longer rambling response about the daughter of the owner of his current company being involved in some fraud scandal and how he could not stand to work with someone so evil who was going to destroy the company. It was like a spoken word soap opera: conspiracies, betrayals, heroes, villains. After a minute or two of this my colleague and I put him on mute (he continued on without noticing) and we agreed that no way are we hiring this loon but it was entertaining enough to finish out the 30 minutes. Eventually we got in a third question, which was why are you interested in this role. He talked for some time about how great his skills were and how valuable he would be to us, but managed to give no concrete examples of him demonstrating said skills. After that time was almost up so as usual we asked if he had any questions for us; despite the fact that we had not talked at all because he spent the whole time rambling, he assured us he had no questions and that he had a solid understanding of the role and that he was definitely a great fit for us. So that was four questions in 30 minutes, one of which was “do you have any questions for us” – this still stands as our record for fewest questions asked in an interview.

  224. Anon-admin*

    Several years ago in our department we had a new director of teapot analysis and an opening for a new Teapot analysis manager at our location. Leadership advertised the position externally and internally and several of our teapot analysts applied for the manager position. One of them arrived at the interview and proceeded to inform the new director that she wasn’t actually interested in the manager position but that she thought that it was very important that someone be promoted from within instead of hiring someone outside the company and this was the best way to get an audience with the director.

    3 years later, the same teapot analyst applied when the manager position was open again and was informed that she would be better served by not going through with the interview if she was going to try the same thing. She withdrew her name from consideration.

  225. EmilyKS*

    Did you ever talk to him, and let him know that his interview behaviour hurt his chances of getting hired? That if he ever leaves this job and has to interview somewhere else, they might not hire him if, when he’s showing his nerves, he only speaks to the male interviewers. (I’m surprised he hasn’t picked up on that yet, and that he hasn’t fixed it either, but, then again, maybe he has and he just hasn’t been in a position to show how yet.)

Comments are closed.