ask the readers: weirdly dramatic responses to mundane office changes

by Alison Green on May 11, 2017

There’s something about work that can make people have weirdly strong reactions to relatively mundane changes in office policies or practices — like the guy who throws a loud temper tantrum when I.T. makes him change the password he’s used for the last three years, or the angsty drama greeting an announcement that people can’t bring in their own plants anymore because of bugs.

Let’s hear about weirdly dramatic reactions that you’ve seen people have to policy changes at work — the more disproportionate to the provocation, the better. If someone lost their mind when they were told to clean out their email or Hulked out when casual Fridays ended, please share in the comments. Details, details please.

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    1. Future Homesteader*

      Hitting refresh repeatedly. We’re in the midst of a lot of changes (too soon to write about, I think, and so far nothing spectacular, just irksome), so I look forward to hearing others’ tales, which I have no doubt will make me feel better about the sulking going on here.

    2. animaniactoo*

      Ditto. Our server is moving super slow at the moment as we try to delete stuff to create some operating room and I need a timefiller!

    5. MegaMoose, Esq*

      Joining the desperately looking forward to distraction crew! I’ve spent close to the last month desperately trying to drag out the few things I have to do as long as humanly possible. Everyone is grumpy here and just wants this project to end. Sadly, nothing I can do affects that, or I’d be busting my butt for sure.

    7. Justanotherthought*

      I like how Alison kept her introduction short, knowing this is going to be AMAAAAZZZINNG and just what we all needed today.

      Bring. It. On.

    8. Julie Noted*

      Aw man! I was looking forward to this post and I wake up to see that it’s here and over 1000 comments already 8O

    2. What What in the*

      “Free” meerkats? As in, all further meerkats require being paid for? Or did you mean free-range meerkats, so all further meerkats are from captivity? Come on, you can’t leave it at that!

      1. Apollo Warbucks*

        They are soft toys that are given away to customers who buy from the company I work for. unfortunately they stopped giving them to staff at all.

        2. ReneeB*

          I worked for a biomedical company and they had plush toys of diseases. A little grinning staph infection bacteria. A flu virus. A Streptococcus bacteria.

          These were intended as schwag for customers and partners at industry events. I take it they didn’t go over well. They ended up at the office for employees to take. They still didn’t go over well. They started giving them to all new employees. I received a few when I was on-boarded. I didn’t want them either.

          A plush meerkat however…! I would kill for one of those.

          So yes, I can imagine the gladitorial combats taking place in the office for dibs on meerkats!

            1. Bits and Bytes*

              I agree. Biomed schwag is awesome. My MIL has an Irritable Bowel plush that growls when shaken. It’s just the best.

              1. AMT*

                I’ll take “things I didn’t know I desperately wanted on my desk” for 500, Alex.

            2. MI Dawn*

              Oh, I love those, too. Both my daughters have some of them. But you get really weird looks when you tell people that your daughter asked for mono for Christmas….

              1. Stella*

                My daughter got dissentary from her Aunt for christmas one year. The bed bug was funny until we actually got bedbugs…

              2. PlainJane*

                Giant Microbes, one of the companies that makes plushie microbes, also sells underwear with pictures of microbes on them. So I got one of my close male friends a pair of boxers with pictures of gonorrhea on them. The joke for years was that I gave him the clap for Christmas.

                1. Kelly*

                  Thanks for including the name of that company. My sister works in the public health field and I think she’d get a laugh of getting a plushie herpes as a gag gift.

                2. vpc*

                  I also work in public health, on the side that does outbreak investigations, and *everybody* has at least a few on their desks. They also made / make ties. I knew I was in the right job when the icebreaker at the the office christmas party was “so what’s your favorite pathogen?” and EVERYONE HAD AN ANSWER TO THE QUESTION.

                  (Mine is the Black Death.)

                3. Clumsy Ninja*

                  vpc – I love this! Now I’m going to ask everyone at work about their favorite pathogen….

                4. Epiphyta*

                  I have two of the rhinovirus soap dispensers!

                  My son has several of the plushies, and nearly made his grandmother faint at Christmas when he announced that his best friend gave him chlamydia.

            3. JessaB*

              My sister used to toss them to her Uni students when she taught advanced nursing courses as rewards for getting really really complicated stuff right. I have a few as well but my fave from that company is actually a stuffed brain neuron.

            5. Rachel*

              I got my girlfriend a plush platelet after she developed an autoimmune platelet deficiency (ITP). She needs all the platelets she can get, huggable or otherwise :)

          4. Apollo Warbucks*

            The latest one’s are StarWars themed, I didn’t even know I wanted a Luke Skywalker meerkat until I was told I couldn’t have one.

            2. Elstra*

              I didn’t know I wanted one until you revealed their existence and I couldn’t have one!

              1. Anne (with an "e")*

                I want a plush toy Meerkat. I would especially <3 a Star Wars themed Meerkat. The idea that they exist and I don't have one seriously bums me out…..

                1. Bunny*

                  A young man at work does an excellent Meerkat impression and I giggle uncontrollably when he does it. So he does it when I’m on the air.

                  Yes, I work for WKRP.

            3. Annie Mouse*

              I know which company you mean and I’m just about to get something that would mean I get the free meerkat. I thought they were still Frozen ones, the Star Wars ones are awesome!!

              1. Say what, now?*

                Can we get a hint about these magical meerkat retailers? Is it a part of their logo? Or even just a country of origin would be great??? : )

                1. MsSolo*

                  It’s a pun on a UK business’s name that is currently running ads with high profile hollywood stars. Try searching youtube for something like Arnie meerkat.

              2. Meerkat*

                Bummer to lose meerkats as an employee – but still given out to customers, right? How do I become a customer????? I’ll find a way to get a meerkat. Next incarnation suggestion – a Doctor Who meerkat!

          5. Aphrael*

            When I was a kid I had a beanie baby snow leopard from a pharmaceutical company, so instead of spots it had influenza viruses.

              1. JessaB*

                Oh that is cool, the influenza leopard. I actually have from way back when they gave them out, an Aflaac duck, that yells “Aflaaaaaaaac” when you press on it.

                1. PennyLane*

                  I totally had this duck too! My dad picked it up at a conference and I kept it on a shelf in my room in college. Friends loved pressing him, and he was super popular when people were drunk.

          6. paul*

            ….I honestly *really* want the staph one, and the strep one, as someone that’s had issues with those two. Granted, mostly so I can light them on fire as a form of petty revenge but still….

            Did y’all know you can get strep in your skin? I never knew that until it happened to me

            1. Not Rebee*

              Yes, and it’s nasty. Had several infections break out at once (going theory is many shaving nicks infected by breathing staph from my nose) all over my legs… one site swelled to the size of my palm and was so deep they literally measured it by sticking one of those long handled q-tips into it. The scar, 7 years later, is the size of the tip of my index finger. Not Fun At All.

              1. Agile Phalanges*

                So, what I’m taking away from that is: avoid shavings legs. Especially when sick. But avoid shaving legs at all, just to be safe.

            3. TM*

              I LOVE the disease plushies. I have an e-coli and an ebola. The ebola was swag from a vendor (I work in a biomedical research dept at a university).

            4. Not So NewReader*

              Did not know you could get it on your skin. I did learn that strep can cause bleeding. Blood in the throat follows gravity downward….

            5. This Daydreamer*

              I’ve got Cellulitis right now! I’m okay now, for the most part but the first couple of days were hell.

            6. On Fire*

              Way late to the party, but… yes. And it can be Bad (TM). My MIL ended up having one leg amputated below the knee because she had a *severe* case of strep in her leg.

          7. Artemesia*

            My daughter gave me a plush bone cell for Christmas to commemorate a recent fracture. I was amazed that such things exist but she said there were e-coli on the same rack.

            2. JustaTech*

              One year for Valentine’s day my husband got me the heart-shaped box set of venereal diseases. The itty bitty syphilis is so cute!

            3. RKB*

              After I had a bowel resection and lost my small intestine my friends got me a plush one to make up for it. Hilarious.

          8. Noah*

            “A plush meerkat however…! I would kill for one of those.”

            Well, you could use the stuffed strep bacteria to do it…

          9. mrs__peel*

            Awww, I would’ve loved some plush diseases!

            My mom gave me a squishy brain (one of those rubbery things you squeeze to relieve stress) that she got at a stroke conference, and it’s one of my favorite things in the world.

          10. curmudgeon*

            I’d love the disease plushies! Friends who are doctors have them & they are cool. There’s even patterns that you can knit/crochet of them.
            Send ’em my way!

          11. Falling Diphthong*

            Judging by the length of the responses–if anyone is wondering “What would my employees like besides money and time off?” apparently the answer is stuffed viruses. Which would not have occurred to me. (Disclosure–I would love a stuffed virus.)

          12. The OG Anonsie*

            I love the plushie microbes! I’m surprised there weren’t enough weird nerds in any of those groups to snag a bunch.

          15. eplawyer*

            Seriously if your company is still trying to unload them, I will take them. As apparently will others.

          16. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain*

            I love giant microbes. I gave my boxer dog rabies and it was the perfect size and shape for playing fetch.

          17. Megan*

            I love those plush diseases. My BIL and his wife got me the STD set for Christmas, which quickly went from amusing living room decor to cat toy – the chlamydia one for some reason is fascinating to them.

          18. Gadget Hackwrench*

            One of the first gifts my husband got me, early in our dating relationship was a plush Rhinovirus. I named him Steve. Steve the Rhinovirus is still one of my favorite stuffed animals. (Although my Uglydoll Secret Mission Icebat is the star at the moment, because I just got him earlier this week… which I mention because he’s here in my lap… at the office.) The Plush Microbes are so cuuuuuute!

          19. weasel007*

            oHHH..I got some of those for Christmas one year. My husband was so proud to tell everyone that he got me chicken pox for Christmas.

        7. O'Thee*

          Ha, small world – my company signed a partnership with you guys a while ago so I’ve got three of those suckers staring at me in the office right now!

      1. liz_isabella*

        I kind of love the idea of the insurance comparison company having their meerkats cut off at the source.

        1. Discordia Angel Jones*

          Glad to hear it!

          Your employers will be pleased to know that that’s what I immediately thought of when I read your comment.

    8. This Daydreamer*

      I think you’re going to cause a near riot here just by introducing the idea of free meerkats!

      I want one too. *sad puppy dog eyes*

      1. madge*

        Thank you for this gift. This is now bookmarked for any down days, down time, any time…

      6. Pixel*

        To think some lucky duck was paid presumably nice wages to design the meerkats and write the bios… “So, what are your recent accomplishments?” “A team of well-rounded meerkats”.

    10. Gaia*

      We recently went through a rebranding and were told our beloved mascot could not longer be used in such public ways. This mascot is everywhere. And beloved. By everyone.

      It did not go over well. There are rebel factions still using her in everything. Brand is angry.

      1. justsomeone*

        We phased out a beloved caterpillar mascot about 10 years ago and we still have people absolutely obsessed with it who beg for caterpillar themed swag.

        1. LavaLamp*

          OHMYGOD! I need a stuffed Meerkat now. That is freaking the most adorable thing I’ve seen in a very long time. <3 <3

      2. Gadget Hackwrench*

        When my University mostly replaced their Mascot, the students weren’t having it AT ALL. They did it because “Puck Man” is great for Hockey but weird for other sports… but if you ask the students they’d rather have Puck Man at the football games than The Chicken. (Redhawk.)

        “In 1995 the official nickname of some of the school’s other Division III teams was changed from the Engineers to the Red Hawks, but the hockey, football, cross-country, tennis, and track and field teams all chose to retain the Engineers name. The “Red Hawks” name was, at the time, very unpopular among the student body; a “Red Hawk” mascot was frequently taunted with thrown concessions and chants of “kill the chicken!””
        https://unprompted.com/ntrw/PuckMan

    12. Hankie Enlightenment (formerly Sarahnova)*

      Are you in the UK, Apollo? I totally know who you work for if you are!

    13. Bagpuss*

      I’m obviously deeply unnatural.
      I hate the meerkats. They irritate the heck out of me.
      I’ve never bought insurance via that company but they do’t tempt me to do so.
      Clearly, if I ever do get insurance through them I should come back here and offer the meerkat to the highest bidder!

      1. DJ*

        I find them less irritating than their rival the opera singer (picturing the confusion of non-UK readers!). Although at least that organisation did some ads admitting that he was annoying and punishing him for it.

        2. Anne (with an "e")*

          Here in the States we have a Gecko that works for a certain insurance company. Another insurance company has Snoopy from Peanuts. Then there is the AFLAC duck. I love them all. So, we are not missing out on the cuteness over here.

          1. Kirsten*

            My dad works for Aflac. I have many stuffed ducks in various outfits that quack “Aflac… Aflac… AFLAC!!!” when you squeeze them.

  3. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

    Usually, at one of my jobs, the manager would bring donuts or bagels on Friday. It was consistent enough that people would not eat breakfast at home on Friday.

    One of my coworkers flipped out when the manager forgot them one week. He started throwing his arms around and near-yelling “where are the bleeping donuts, I’m bleeping hungry! This is so bleeping ridiculous…”

    He sulked the rest of the day.

    2. Anonyforthis*

      And I’m sure this guy *never* contributed to any potluck or other food events but just expected everyone else to provide it for HIM.

      This guy sucks.

      1. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

        I think I had a more nuanced view; he had literally no income after basic expenses. Still, a tantrum?

        1. TL -*

          Even then, nobody owes him free food, especially not his manager. I can understand being disappointed and hungry/grumpy but you keep it to yourself, people!

          3. Noah*

            I don’t know. When you create the expectation that there’s breakfast every Friday, I think you need to give notice if you’re not going to bring it in. Something is owed, if not actual breakfast.

          4. Callalily*

            Everyone is owed free donuts… should be a government program distributing them to offices.

            1. Managed Chaos*

              I once worked for an estate attorney who flipped out on the receptionist for not saving her a whole wheat bagel from the Friday morning bagels. Even though the admin let her know when the bagels arrived, made sure to order one of the bagels, apparently the fact that she didn’t guard it with her life to make sure none of the other partners took it was a terrible offense.

          5. Indoor Cat*

            Yeah, like…I sympathize with financial struggles. But the places to get free food are, like, the Food Shelf? Meals on Wheels? Food Stamps? A Church or something that gives out food? Unlocked dumpster behind a fast food or grocery?

            It’s not your boss’s job to give free food.

    3. alter_ego*

      I love to bake, but I can’t eat everything, of course, so I regularly bring cupcakes and such to work. At an old internship, there was a few weeks where I didn’t bring anything in, because I’d gotten pretty busy in my personal life. Like 3 people complained that I hadn’t brought anything in lately.

      I never brought treats to work again.

        1. TootsNYC*

          and how stupid! Because anyone with half a brain would realize you run the risk of people never bringing you cupcakes or donuts again!

      2. Anonymouse*

        Our old Executive Assistant used to bake cookies in the break room every Friday and bring them around. Apparently, some people started complaining that when she started at the other end of the building, the cookies weren’t as warm when she got to them. No good deed goes unpunished.

            1. Artemesia*

              In our family the phrase is ‘it is all part of life’s rich pageant.’ I’m not sure where the first person to use it lifted it from but we’ve been saying it for decades now

                1. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

                  It’s a really old English idiom, but Inspector Clouseau (i.e., Peter Sellers) uses it in The Pink Panther. R.E.M. lifted it as an album title :)

        3. MegaMoose, Esq*

          Good lord. It’s called a microwave, people. I’ve never had a job that didn’t have one. It’s also called “don’t look the gift cookies in the mouth.”

          2. alter_ego*

            This is totally off topic, but I recently discovered that the coffee shop in my building will put their (giant) chocolate chip cookies on the panini press for you to heat them up if you ask. It’s a game changer. Seriously, best warmed up cookie I’ve ever had in my life.

              1. Beancounter Eric*

                Fresh from the oven chocolate chip peanut butter…..I may need to leave work early…

            2. MegaMoose, Esq*

              Oooooohhh! I’m not big on cookies (or sweet foods generally), but that sounds amazing.

            3. Tasha*

              We have a sign by the toaster in the employee lounge that says, “Do not heat cookies in the toaster. Use the microwave.”

            4. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

              I knew panini presses and George Foreman grills had a purpose!

        5. Time Bomb of Petulance*

          At an old job, I used to bring donuts… until people started complaining that I didn’t get enough of *specific type of donut(s)* that they liked. I was so put off by it that I stopped bringing them.

            1. Time Bomb of Petulance*

              Right?! People were making statements like, “[Time Bomb of Petulance] never gets enough chocolate glaze donuts” and “I wish [Time Bomb of Petulance] would get more bear claws when bringing donuts” . . . uh, you realize I didn’t have to bring ANY donuts at all, especially since no one else is contributing to the cost.

            1. Time Bomb of Petulance*

              The complaints also stopped (as far as I’m aware). No one else stepped up to buy donuts, so the office went without them.

              1. Jills Verne*

                Dammit, now I want donuts. I guess I know what I’m doing tomorrow morning. :/

              2. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

                You can bring donuts one more time and say, “This is your last chance to behave like adults.” :)

        6. Sled dog mama*

          Holy Cow. The only proper response to being offered a homemade cookie is “Thank you” that can be followed by yes or no depending on if you want/eat/like cookies but there is no other proper response

            1. Amy G. Golly*

              This was always my prompt when I worked with kids.

              Me: “Carson, would you like some?”
              Carson: “Nuh.” (or *grabbing motion*)
              Me: “Yes please, or no thank you?”

              It was hard not to take that practice with me into a job as a grocery cashier.

              Me: “Would you like your laundry detergent in a separate bag?”
              Customer, without looking up from phone: “Yeah.”
              Me, silently to myself: YES PLEASE OR NO THANK YOU???

              1. Agile Phalanges*

                Oh, man. I actually added “please” to someone’s solo “yes.” OUT LOUD. They were a superior. I was mortified. In my defense, my son was around 5 or so at the time, so it was a skill we were working on with him. But yeah. Embarrassing.

                2. Zahra*

                  It’s a reflex you get when you parent. And then you realize that no matter how much our parents drilled this into our heads, plenty of adults forgot basic politeness along the way.

          2. Chaordic One*

            When I brought in homemade cookies, I have been offered proposals of marriage. When I protested that I was already married, I was told that that didn’t matter and that he’d be happy to share me???!!!

      4. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

        I used to have a very difficult receptionist who found out I baked, and bugged me endlessly to bring in cookies. So I did. Within a week, she was complaining that I hadn’t brought more. I never brought any in again.

        Now I work in a different area, and regularly bring in snacks. One person stops by, eats the snacks, and moans the whole time about how evil they are and how she shouldn’t be eating them and how bad and unhealthy they are. I politely said that the snacks were to enjoy, and that if they were a source of stress instead of enjoyment I could stop bringing them. She stopped complaining.

        2. MegaMoose, Esq*

          Good for you. I had one job a few years ago where we would get treats for birthdays once a month – there was always a group of people moaning and groaning about that bad, bad cake they were being forced to eat. I can’t stand food moralizing.

          1. Melba_Toast*

            On the other hand, there are offices (my old one) that will inquire further if you *don’t* eat the cake. “Oh, honey, are you on a diet? Good for you!” Errr…I just don’t like chocolate cake ((shrug))

            1. MegaMoose, Esq*

              Oh yeah, the same group of people were the ones who’d go on and on if you didn’t eat cake, or took an extra small piece. I don’t especially like most sweet foods, which some people find to be absolutely SHOCKING (sometimes insultingly so, as I’m overweight).

              1. Paula, with Two Kids*

                Me, too. But if they had chips…watch out! Love the salty, not the sweet. It’s just as “fattening”.

          2. Hlyssande*

            Our birthday thing is once a quarter now, and they’ve moved from cake only to a variety of snacks. There’s always cookies/pie/cake/something sweet, but also fruit, chips n salsa, cheese, crackers, veggies, and healthier stuff like that. People still whinge about it.

            1. MegaMoose, Esq*

              Yup. We always had at least fruit in addition to cake, but that just prompted the “oh, I should really take fruit, but I just feel naughty today!” or “good for you, way to be strong!” if you went for the fruit.

              1. Kit*

                ARRGH I hate comments like that!! I will generally raise my eyebrows slightly, say “food is morally neutral” in a tone of “I have a line here and you are about to cross it”, and go on eating my snack. It usually works.

              2. Hlyssande*

                Ugh, so rude. When people make comments like that, I just want to grab the unhealthiest thing on the table and stuff it in my mouth, all while keeping deadpan eye contact with the person.

              3. Clumsy Ninja*

                I got congratulated for “being so good” at a conference when I took an apple rather than the candy bars or whatever else was there for the afternoon snack session. I just said, “It’s not being good. I like apples, and all the chocolate stuff makes me vomit. There’s nothing moral about it.”

            2. Annabell*

              I wish my office would do this. I love sweets, but I’m allergic to wheat and bringing myself extra snacks for office celebrations always seems over the top.

              1. Jane Eyre*

                Same her, Annabell. Wheat allergies are the worst. My officemates STILL bug me every time it’s birthday cake day in the office. Perhaps I’ll make a sign to plaster on my cube?

              2. Hlyssande*

                The variety is pretty nice, I’ve got to say. Sorry yours doesn’t accommodate your wheat allergy, that’s rough! I think part of the reason we have variety is due to dietary limitations in the office.

                They’re a lot more accommodating of that than they used to be. I used to get myself on the picnic and holiday planning committees and push for non-meat dishes that weren’t just a salad endlessly.

        4. Amber T*

          For a whole ‘nother host of (non-work related) reasons, I HATE when people specifically call out food for being bad, or evil, or that they’re bad for enjoying a “bad” food. Moderation is key. /offtopic

          1. Night Cheese*

            Ugh, I agree. Especially if it’s when someone else is eating and enjoying something. “Oh my gooooddd, I can’t believe you can eat that pizza. Anytime *I* eat pizza I just feel so horrible about myself for the rest of the day!” It’s probably one of my biggest pet peeves. Plus it’s just rude.

            LET. PEOPLE. ENJOY. THINGS.

            1. The OG Anonsie*

              Don’t talk about other people’s food or eating habits. DON’T DO IT. Blanket rule!

              1. Annabell*

                Seriously, comments on someone else’s eating habits or bodies ought to be off limits across the board.

                1. Castaspella*

                  Totally – my lunch always seems to be up for discussion. I largely eat quite healthily (in an office full of people who regularly frequent local take-aways). If I have my salad, it’s “why are you eating like that, you don’t need to lose weight?”, if I decide I fancy a KFC, everyone loses their shit, “I can’t believe YOU’RE eating THAT!!”. I can’t win! Nobody else seems to be subject to this scrutiny.

                  And it’s every, single, day.

                2. Annie Moose*

                  I loathe “YOU don’t need to eat that SALAD, you don’t need to lose weight!!!”. Aside from the whole “you don’t know what food plans/medical problems/health issues other people have” thing (and the whole “why are you even commenting on other people’s weight” thing), sometimes I just want to eat a salad, Karen!!!

          2. Blue Anne*

            Yes. Or “Oh I won’t have any cake, I’m being good.”

            So I’m being bad by having a slice of the delicious ice cream cakes we get at the office for birthdays? Uggghhhhh go away and let me eat my delicious thing.

          3. KRM*

            Ohhh, I accidentally snapped at a co-worker yesterday who was like “well I RUINED the yoga we had yesterday by going out for a burger”. You did not. The two have nothing to do with each other. Please don’t food moralize around me, I can’t stand it.
            We are friends, so I apologized right after and she accepted it/said she’s working on not being a moralizer, but I just couldn’t stop myself in the moment.

          4. fishy*

            Yup. Literally every time the company provides food for us, the managers stand around saying how they can’t take any because they’re being “good” that day, or they’ll take a tiny bit and moan about how “bad” they are. I’m thinking they just don’t realize that they’re implying that all the employees who are doing what the company expects by actually eating the food are being “bad”.

          5. Mrs. Fenris*

            My (soon to be former) boss has serious food issues. She will say loudly in a joking-not-joking way, “HEY WHO BROUGHT THE FAT PILLS?” anytime someone brings in donuts or whatever. My coworker and I, who love to eat, will say “THANK YOU!!” to the “guilty” party as soon as she starts in.

        6. Allison*

          Good response, I hate people who talk about food like that. We have a similar setup near my cube, people bring in candy and treats and others help themselves. I always hear “oh my god, this is so dangerous! I’m being sooo baaad. I shouldn’t . . .”

          Look, if you’re watching what you eat and you often face dilemmas about whether to eat or not eat a snack in front of you, I get that, but keep it to yourself. I don’t need to hear you waffling about it, and scolding yourself for being bad. Eat, don’t eat, or stop to think, but I hate diet talk in the office.

        7. Oscar Madisoy*

          “I used to have a very difficult receptionist who found out I baked, and bugged me endlessly to bring in cookies. So I did.”

          Why?

        8. Software Engineer*

          I hate watching people do the oh-I-shouldn’t dance. I used to sit by the office candy bowl and listen to and endless parade of middle-aged men (I work in tech) hem and haw about how they were being so bad, they were on a diet. Nobody cares, people! Eat it or don’t!

          1. nhb*

            I may make up a sign with your quote “Nobody cares, people! Eat it or don’t!” I love this.

      5. Isben Takes Tea*

        Well done!

        It wasn’t at work, but I lived in a big house (think former sorority) for a year in college, and I loved to bake as a stress-relief. I’d regularly share cookies (because it’s fun to share), but one day, people came down as I was starting to bake and they started putting requests in, like “Can you make them extra chewy?” “I like mine with nuts!” “Why don’t you ever make Snickerdoodles?” and I never baked cookies in the group kitchen again.

      6. Ol' Crow*

        I have a rather large garden where I grow a good variety of vegetables and herbs, and despite preserving them, I still can’t eat everything. I enjoy giving it away. So I brought it a bunch of gorgeous beets in for my (really awful) boss (who could occasionally be nice). I left the greens on because they are delicious – 2 meals for the price of one!
        She took them with a little word of thanks. Next my thyme was very going mad, so I asked if she wanted me to bring some in for her. She said kind of nastily “yes, but make sure you bring me recipes too; the herb is useless if I don’t know how to cook with it. And next time you bring me beets, clean them up and cut off the greens so I don’t have to do it.” That was the last time she got anything from my garden.

        1. HelenGrace*

          That is so infuriating to me…especially since my home-garden beet crop failed this year (and I was growing them *specifically* to eat the greens!) You would have been my hero if you offered those to me :)

          1. Ol' Crow*

            If you were close to me, you would be the recipient this year :) I’m a green lover, so we grow everything from the normal down to horseradish, which if you haven’t tried, is absolutely amazing!
            And yes, I was beyond infuriated. But I got my revenge as I never brought anything further in for her, but she watched me bring in bags for a couple of different people a few different times.

            Best of luck on the next batch of beets!

          1. Ol' Crow*

            I just wish I could say this was my worst experience with her. But, sadly, it wasn’t – not even close.

        7. Meri*

          Ignoring the ridiculous rudeness for a second… who needs recipes for thyme? It’s THYME- you can use it in anything!

        9. The Strand*

          What an incredible ass!
          One of the nicest things I ever got was fresh rosemary from a neighbor, shortly before they moved. It was so nice, I wish I’d made them something they could have enjoyed.

        10. Dan*

          next thing you know she’ll be asking you to include dishes!

          However, she’ll have neither the thyme nor the plates.

          I’ll show myself out how.

      7. Anne (with an "e")*

        I am a teacher. At my old school I used to bring in homemade cookies or brownies for my students once in a while. I stopped when some students started acting entitled to the treats. Also, I would hear about what was wrong with the treats (I’m on a diet. I am allergic to nuts,chocolate, etc. Why don’t you bring us xyz instead?) It was very rare to hear even a single “Thank you” from the students who gobbled down the food like they were starving. Thus, no more treats. Why bother?

        1. Ol' Crow*

          Exactly, why bother? It’s so frustrating to do something for others only to have it kicked around as if your efforts and time, not to mention thoughtfulness, were nothing.
          Did the students complain about their lack of treats?

          1. Anne (with an "e")*

            Yes, they did complain a bit. However, I would just tell them that I didn’t have the time to bake anymore.

      8. emw1*

        I used to bake for my last job(before I got laid off after 22 years!), and I have to say, no one ever complained that I hadn’t brought something in if it didn’t happen for a few weeks. They just sucked it up and never said a word, because they knew if they did, I’d totally cut them off from dessert day. I would get to try new recipes without having to eat it all myself, and they knew it. They even used to collect funds for me because butter isn’t cheap!

        1. LKW*

          I had a coworker who once a year would spend a pre-Christmas weekend with her mother and sister and bake quite literally thousands of cookies. She would bring in two heaping containers of cookies , one for each office location. If you complained – the rest of us beat you up. There is no complaining when Susan makes cookies.

          1. emw1*

            I know, I’m not working right now, yet I still have 10 lbs of butter on hand. I just gotta have it! Whipping cream is almost 6 bucks a quart. I’ve not done much baking now that I’m not working, so I guess I’m saving some money!

          2. SongBird*

            If you can find a local restaurant supply store, butter there is MUCH cheaper. I used to get a pound of butter for under $2 when it was up around $4 at the grocery store. The butter wasn’t cut into sticks, but I have knives, so that wasn’t a worry.

            Milk is cheaper there as well, and I’ve found LOTS of good stuff. Like Costco, but better.

      9. General Ginger*

        I have a coworker who enjoys baking, and occasionally brings in muffins and cookies. Why would anyone want to jeopardize this Occasional Magical Special Treat Day by being an entitled jerk?

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          And entitled jerks everywhere are like MY BODY IS READY

        2. emw1*

          I was getting deep into layer cakes and cheesecakes at the time, so no one ever complained. Plus multiple types of brownies/cookies. And every xmas I’d make 14 types of candy for presents at the office. I have a room dedicated to my cookbooks. I have a problem :)

          1. General Ginger*

            A delicious problem! It’s awesome to hear that your coworkers not only appreciated your efforts, but also understood that supplies cost money and were willing to contribute.

      10. Old Admin*

        I remember baking several times for a difficult team I was working with (rude, condescending, not very helpful), trying to win them over. I do pretty technical stuff myself, but had exhausted every work related strategy.
        We had a mandatory SCRUM team building exercise where everybody had to say something nice WORK RELATED about somebody else. We talked about each other’s competence, technical knowledge, even helpfulness… then a team member was supposed to talk about me.
        She stared at me for a while, the awkwardly said: “Well… uhh… Old Admin bakes really well, I guess…”
        I never brought food to work again, and left the team soon after.

      11. RKB*

        Not a bad story – but my coworker always opens in the morning and brings baked goods with her. We work in a gym so she’s made various protein brownies and cookies and whatnot. One time she forgot and our regulars were actually very sad. They said Mandy’s cookies were the best part about working out at 530 in the morning.

      12. kavm*

        apparently the woman (“Jane”) who had my job before me used to make waffles pretty regularly. one of my coworkers pestered me about it CONSTANTLY when i first started, expecting me to do the same since i am in the same role. he also spent the first month i was on the job calling me “new-Jane” as a “joke.”

        because of this i’ve never brought treats into the office, not even for my birthday (the office norm is for people to bring in donuts on their birthday). it just really rubbed me the wrong way.

    4. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      This has happened in one of my offices. The whiner was informed in no uncertain terms that he had just recruited himself to get his ass over to Einstein Bros. and furnish the bagels for that week.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          I will savor the expression that came over his face until my dying day.

          1. ReneeB*

            As one of my former bosses who had been a Navy officer used to say to me, “Who tied an anchor to your ass?” (I think he probably said ‘tush’ or ‘behind.’)

            In other words, your complaining just volunteered you to solve the problem you’re running your mouth about!

            3. Rebecca in Dallas*

              Haha, one of my friends says, “Are your arms painted on?” I like the anchor one, though.

      2. Adlib*

        One of my old offices had a “donut club” where each member had to furnish donuts for that Friday, and only other members could eat them. It was a huge office so I don’t know how they managed to keep it that way. (The club was open to all, but you definitely had to sign up and be a willing furnisher.)

        1. Engineering Manager*

          I was in a similar donut pool. We had someone who decided they wanted to get donuts, so they agreed to sign up and got several weeks worth of donuts. When it came time for their first turn to be the supplier, they decided that they no longer wanted to be part of the donut club. That did not go over well and he was banned from ever getting donuts (we often opened things up to the public as it got later and there were more donuts than could be eaten by the club members).

          1. Zombii*

            And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first time at Donut Club, you have to buy the donuts.

      4. Aurion*

        Not Mad, I love all of your comments, but this one sent me giggling like a kid. You’re one of my favourites on this forum.

      5. Noah*

        Sequel: he sues his employer for illegally forcing him to buy food for the company. :-)

        1. Stone Satellite*

          Or lets his norovirus-infected child slobber on them and gets the entire office sick.

    5. designbot*

      My husband flipped out over a similar cancellation of breakfast goods. His solution has been to make waffles for his office every Friday for the past five years. I’m eye rolling pretty hard, but then again have I ever stayed at the same job for five years? Maybe that’s what it takes.

      2. CM*

        That’s the opposite of entitled. It’s not, “I deserve to have someone bring me free food,” it’s, “I really like our breakfast, and I’m upset that it’s gone, so I’m going to personally make sure it happens for everybody!”

    6. Library Lady*

      Oh yeah. One of my bosses had a candy jar, and people used to come in, check it out, and complain to her if it wasn’t something they liked. I did once snap at someone, “Are you actually complaining that the free candy doesn’t meet your standards?”

      1. C Average*

        My mom instilled in my sister and me the principle that one does not complain about free stuff. One is not obligated to like, use, keep, or feel grateful for the free stuff, but one says “thank you” and keeps one’s feelings about the free stuff to oneself.

        I think this is a very good principle.

        (I imagine there are situations where constructive criticism of the free stuff would be genuinely helpful, but these would be exceptions to the rule.)

        1. WhirlwindMonk*

          Yeah, if the free stuff is a specific gift to a person or small group to show appreciation for their work, and the gift is ill advised for some reason (e.g. wine to a group that contains people who don’t drink wine for taste or religious reasons), there’s definitely room for someone to say “Hey, this gift is not doing what you want it to do.”

        3. SusanIvanova*

          That reminds me of a recent Miss Manners:

          Dear Miss Manners: I have a friend who will hand a gift back to me immediately after unwrapping it if she does not like it/has no use for it. She has implied I should get her something more to her liking/useful. She has done this to others. Am I wrong to be offended? I have tried to be considerate in selecting a gift, but obviously I am missing the mark. What’s the proper response?

          Miss Manners: To stop giving her presents.

      2. WFHMama*

        I used to have a candy dish on my desk in an old office and got similar complaints from a co-worker. Mind you he and I rarely interacted until he started sniffing around my candy dish, and then when he complained he didn’t like what I had, I said to him, “Are you really complaining to me about the candy I have on my desk that you walked over her to get for free?” the look on his face was amazing.

        Now that I think about it, that was the same guy I called out in our kitchen once. The company provided free breakfast for the staff on Fridays. And one morning he was complaining to the admin in charge of setting up that he was sick of the same things all the time. I looked at him and said, “Are you really complaining about the free bagel you have been able to eat at work for the last 2 years?” He shook his head and tried to stammer something, but as the rest of the folks in the kitchen laughed and he slunk off with his free bagel and I don’t think I heard him complain again.

        1. Sled dog mama*

          We have a lunch meeting every week here and we have the same lunch every week and I do get very tired of it but you will never hear me complain because I have a choice to eat it or get something else.

        2. Paxton*

          At my old job, I did (discreetly) ask the admin if she would include vegetarian options in our free Friday lunches. Half of our programmers were vegetarian but were too afraid to ask as she was a bit hostile. But I didn’t complain to the office or out loud.

          1. WFHMama*

            That is way different. Asking to accommodate specific diets is way different than someone complaining that their weekly free bagel is boring. “Hey thanks for lunch, would you mind making sure some options are vegetarian?” is acceptable. “uugghh… another stupid bagel??” is a bratty entitled annoyance.

        3. frog*

          Oh, for pity’s sake, the Entitlement Complex of some people. The company I used to work for bought a corporate level CSA membership every year, so once a week in the summer months, we’d get organic fruit delivered to the office, and placed in the kitchen where we could help ourselves. Towards the end of the season, the variety would naturally lessen, until the last 2-3 weeks, when it was usually just apples.

          I remember passing through the kitchen one week to hear coworkers scoffing, “Oh, only APPLES again? Bo-ring!” and thinking: yeah, apples. Free organic ones. Like, I had just shared the lightrail that morning with a kid who was clearly going to spend the day somewhere other than home, and noticing he had with him a lidless plastic container, and a package of ramen noodles. That was clearly it for his lunch. He probably would have loved a freaking free organic apple.

          I ended up taking home the leftovers that night, about half of what had been delivered, and baking up a breakfast apple crisp that I brought back into the office the next day. Miraculously, people had no problem with the “boring” apples in that format.

          1. Not So NewReader*

            I ended up with Harry and David pears because “it’s just fruit”. Yeah, okay. Best pears I have ever had in my life, it was like eating pure candy. Perfection.

          2. VivaVirago*

            That is so annoying! I don’t even get why people complain about this stuff – they don’t *have* to eat it. Really nice of you to bake it all up into an apple crisp.

            On the flip-side for me is the coworker who kindly brought in some good-lookin’ apples. I actually have IBD and was having a massive flare-up, so I really couldn’t tolerate apples that day. I thought it was a cool thing to do, though, and I didn’t comment other than to say “That’s nice of you, thanks!” as I happened to be the only person in the office when he came in. I just quietly didn’t eat them.

            Later on, after the THIRD time being harangued for why I wasn’t eating the apples, I did just calmly say that I had health issues, but I’m sure others would enjoy them. Then he kept demanding to know what my health issues were and exclaiming over the idea that I couldn’t eat apples and how ridiculous that was. (Happily, the coworker who does know what’s going on with me had my back, but it was really tough going.)

            So… I could do with him maybe *not* bringing in snacks?

            Incidentally, I get so much shit in the office for what I am eating or not, even when I do briefly explain why. What even is the deal with people getting so invested in what food I put in my face? And insisting that there is One Right Way to eat? Eurgh.

            I think my general rules are:
            – Don’t comment on what people are or are not eating. It’s super rude and can be really hurtful.
            – Don’t complain about the snacks that people have kindly brought in.

            1. JanetM*

              I think, personally, it’s okay to comment positively on what people are eating: “Ooh, that looks / smells delicious!” seems unlikely to be hurtful, and so I don’t think it’s rude.

            2. Cedrus Libani*

              As a celiac, I have a rule…you get ONE polite “no thank you”, and if you ask again, you get an unsparing description of the gastrointestinal havoc that will result if I eat whatever food you’re trying to foist upon me. Somehow, I rarely have to tell anyone a third time. =)

      3. AnonEMoose*

        There’s an acronym in fandom circles that seems to apply, here: FYFIF.

        Which stands for: F*** You, Fanboy, It’s Free!

        I so want to say this, or some variation thereof, to people who complain about free stuff.

        1. CdnAcct*

          Thank you for sharing that acronym, I’ll be using that with my own fandom friends!

    7. DevManager*

      At a previous job, we had bagel/muffin Wednesday for the longest time until we got new members on the wellness committee, who decided the money would be better spent on fruit because it’s healthier.
      The number of company wide emails that flew about was astonishing – most of the lab and shipping groups were incensed because they certainly moved enough during the day to burn a bagel off. Eventually our COO stepped in and changed things back to the way they were – until we moved offices six months later and they dropped the bagels in favor of subsidized lunch three days a week.

      1. SusanIvanova*

        We had free snack food for years until the Healthy Snack Initiative hit – plain M&Ms were removed, leaving only the peanut (or “poison” as our allergic co-workers put it), strange snack “cakes” that looked and tasted like the things my mom would put out to attract wildlife, rice cakes, etc. I’m sure they saved a lot on restocking.

        1. JGray*

          I hate the healthy snack initiative. It ruined vending machines. I can understand it in schools but in workplaces- no. We are all adults and since I actually work in downtown in my town there are lots of other places I can go to get the treats I want.

    8. PizzaDog*

      That happened to me too!

      She complained to the manager!! about it. ‘I was counting on being able to have a bagel for lunch. Now I can’t afford to buy something to eat.’

    9. Pwyll*

      Hah! Your story reminds me of something that happens in a book and now I’m chuckling to myself. If you liked this story, you will LOVE something similar from the book “Company” by Max Barry.

      1. Zombii*

        Further: If you love the scenarios presented on WTF Wednesdays (which are not a real thing here, for obvious reasons), you will love the book Company by Max Barry. Seriously. If you read books, read that book.

      2. Katiedid*

        I love Max Barry! I’ll have to check this one out. “Jennifer Government” is one of my favorite books!

    10. JBPL*

      I had a staff member throw a fit about the *type* of donuts I brought in for my staff once. I have not brought office donuts in the 3 years since.

    11. HR Gal*

      What is it about food that turns otherwise reasonable people into toddlers?

      My office is split between two floors, with 70% on the floor below and 30% on the floor above. Often, when an employee goes away for vacation, they bring back a small treat and send out an email letting everyone know there’s a treat in their floor’s kitchen. I’ve heard MULTIPLE complaints from a number of employees on the top floor that the bottom floor always gets food and they don’t. Seriously?? You’re that upset that someone else might get a piece of candy and you don’t? And if it matters that much to you, ***why don’t you just take the elevator one floor down to get the treat rather than complaining about not getting treats?!!?!?***

    12. Qmatilda*

      I vividly recall seeing a deposition transcript where a good 20 pages was devoted to a discussion of the promised donuts/bagels, the lack of them as promised, and who was to blame.

      The carb rage is real.

    13. LA*

      I work in a very laid-back office where it’s not uncommon for one of my coworkers to have his 3 year old play in his office during the work day.
      My office generally has some kind of snack available, often leftovers from events. His daughter usually meanders over to my office to grab some of those snacks during the day. After week’s of being able to get snacks from my office, this 3 year old came in my office on a week when our snack stash was depleted. She spent the next 20 minutes going between her dad and I demanding to know where the snacks were and how we were going to remedy this problem.
      Later that afternoon, my boss came in, also demanding to know when there would be more snacks. :)

    14. CM*

      I have a lot of stories like this. The worst was not quite an office change, but somebody who had been habitually stealing from the salad bar and got called on it one day by a cafeteria worker who discreetly pulled him aside. He wrote a long and outraged post on the company-wide message board saying that the whole point of the cafeteria was to make him more efficient at his job, and how was he supposed to know that he had to pay for stuff from the salad bar, and they should put a sign up explaining that you have to pay separately for those items (there IS a sign, I thought it was ridiculous when I first saw it), and it’s not HIS responsibility to understand how the cafeteria works, in fact the cafeteria and its workers only exist to serve him, and it’s terrible that they would dare say this to him, etc.

  4. EA*

    So I don’t think this is all that dramatic but I will bite.

    Our space is getting changed an an extra cubicle is being added, everyone will lose about an inch, and one woman will lose an office. The funny part is, the coworker who is losing an inch is the one having a fit, not the woman losing the office. She is going on about how she wasn’t ‘consulted’ about the change, and never got a chance to give input, and that it is disrespectful and shows how little she is appreciated because they change the space and don’t ask what she thinks.

    She has a lot of other issues with our boss, and I think is projecting onto this thing. It’s just hilarious someone else is having their office taken away, and that woman isn’t pitching a fit.

    1. Ramona Flowers*

      Tell her it’s been moved back an inch, then change nothing. Bet she doesn’t notice.

    2. Morning Glory*

      Wow, one whole inch!

      But I suspect a lot of the stories people will post are going to be like this: employees who have larger issues with their boss/workplace/coworkers and it all comes out over something mundane.

      2. Ama*

        Oh this is definitely true. We just moved to new offices at the same time as I am dealing with an apartment move (which happened because circumstances beyond our control rendered our other apartment uninhabitable — it was not at all our choice to move). Last week we were told we could no longer keep items on top of the cupboard in our cubicles (where I have always kept a small plant), and I very nearly lost it on my boss. I was probably only saved by the fact that I was not feeling well, and my brain was moving so much slower that I had time to catch myself before I said something regrettable.

        It had nothing to do with the plant’s location and pretty much everything to do with having control over both my home and work spaces ripped away from me nearly simultaneously.

      3. JD*

        Yes, for sure. I’ve been the one having a fit over little things because I’ve felt slighted already by other things, and the “mundane” thing, which is usually more visible to everyone in the office feels like a public jab.

        For example, I had been quickly promoted early in my career and given more and more responsibility and a huge workload. Then I came back from vacation and the VP of my department started talking about Fergus in our weekly meeting. I asked who Fergus was. He said “your new manager – he starts next Monday”. I honestly thought he was joking. They had hired a manager for me without even letting me know?!? So he started and I played nicely even though I was furious and once Fergus started it was clear he had no idea what my department did. There were other little things like this that made me feel that I was not trusted and basically being “demoted”. Then my VP came into my office one day, made small talk with me and casually mentioned that I needed to clean out my office because Jane, another VP would be moving into my office and I would be moving into the cubicles (despite there being at least one other office available). I totally pouted and made a big scene of moving my stuff out. And refused to speak to Jane for months.

        My company does not handle things very professionally, from the top-down.

        1. Adlib*

          Sounds like a place I used to work! I think those things would set me off too. At one job, I got moved from an office to a cubicle, and the way I was told is that I was shown my new cubicle. No announcement, no explanation. My facial expressions were pretty clear, I’m told. The kicker was that no one was moving into my old office.

        2. Miss Elaine E.*

          I’m truly sorry you had to endure that, but I have to ask:

          Did you get to keep the red Swingline stapler?

          :D :D :D

        3. PatPat*

          But that’s awful! It’s totally reaction worthy. Not a fit, but some kind of reaction for sure.

        4. Turquoise Cow*

          They told my boss I was starting on Monday on Friday at 4:30. Needless to say he had no input in hiring me. He wasn’t terribly happy about it.

      4. fposte*

        Yup. I threw a fit over a moved office wall once. It was definitely a last-straw situation.

      5. required name*

        Yeah, I think the last time I broke down crying it wasn’t over anything that was worth it, it was just everything was building up and then they put this straw on my back… :P

      7. Working Mom*

        I just love when employees talk about being “disrespected” if they don’t get the best cube/space/office, etc. I just LOVE that comment. {heavy sarcasm}

      8. ReneeB*

        Here’s my story of pulling a weirdly dramatic response to an impersonal office change.

        I finally scored an office at my last job. A real office. With a door. That closed. An office!

        I was 38 years old and had been working my tush off for a ‘real office’ for years. I took that job in part because it came with a ‘real office.’ Maybe this makes me old school. Maybe it means I’m stuck in a past era instead of being a modern worker of the 21st century. I don’t know. But that office *mattered* to me.

        About six months in they moved my entire department out of one section of the building to another. All of my senior colleagues were to retain offices and I was to receive a cubicle. I was not an admin, but I was to be put in the open office area in a cube.

        I threw an everlasting fit for weeks. I’m not proud of that. But I threw down. I was willing to lose my job over it. Over walls with a door!

        Now I look back on it I see that in in reality an office is nice, but what I was really mad about was how the job I’d been hired for turned out to be very different from the job they needed done.

        The job I was hired for was analysis, drafting, and organization. The job they needed done involved scurrying around to grumpy executives on a daily basis and begging them for their signatures in a ritualistic song and dance. Which if not performed correctly and on cue between 2:30 and 3:15 pm, meant that the documents I was submitting didn’t get signed, and the internal stakeholders who needed them signed then expressed extreme displeasure with *me.* When I had no power to make executives who expected me to smile and giggle on cue, sign anything at all. Frequently they didn’t for any reason or no reason at all. Sometimes just because they could!

        Oh I was beyond displeased that this song and dance was part of the position and did everything I could to change it, through my own department, through other departments, through Finance, through the CEO, but nada. Nothing. All the other departments needed someone to do the smile and giggle on a daily basis, and *they* weren’t going to do it.

        I tried to implement a routing system where the documents moved through the process without a personal representative walking them around and smiling at execs. Nope, nada. The pushback I received on that was unbelievable. Documents literally disappeared for days at a time and reappeared later, after international deadlines had passed. They had been conveniently ‘lost’ in other people’s offices. And it was made clear to me there was no recourse to hold the people who ‘lost’ them accountable.

        So I sucked it up and I walked docs around, smiled, giggled, interfaced with really unpleasant people, and did the best I could to get files signed for the internal stakeholders. I took one for the team for half a year, while trying to perform the analysis, drafting, and organization part of my job in the meantime, not ever really having enough time to do it right.

        So when they wanted to *take my office away* and put me in a cubicle? Oh heck no. I threw down!

        The fits I pitched were beneath me. As a professional and as an adult. I was so childish. I was willing to lose my job over this.

        Finally one of my bosses did go to bat for me, pulled a few strings, and found a shared office location for me. Another colleague and I were in a room together. But we could close the door. And I said, oh god, thank you. Okay, I’ll take it. Thank you!

        Yes, the fight was definitely over this other aspect of my job I found demoralizing and demeaning. The office was just a symbol of the bigger issue. One I’d had no success in pushing back on.

        When I left that job, I have no idea if they finally got DocuSign like professionals of the 21st century, if the people who also considered it beneath them to personally walk documents around and smile sweetly finally realized they had to do it, or what. And I don’t care! I could care less!

        My new job came with an office. Last week they moved me and all of my colleagues to a new part of the building. I lost my about half my square feet, my real wood furniture, and access to sunlight. But I didn’t complain once. Not a peep! I have a sliding door now instead of a real wood door. But more importantly, I am valued in the work I do for this employer, and I am never made to giggle and smile for people in power. I was more than happy to move, on time and without a single complaint!

        So that’s my story of making a big deal out of nothing, because the real something I couldn’t get resolved wouldn’t budge. Still not proud of it, but I definitely learned something about myself!

        1. Wendy Darling*

          I threw a massive fit when my job took our cube walls away and moved to a completely open plan office so they could smash more people in, and it was basically because I was pissed at the execs for not giving two shits about our quality of life. THEY had offices with doors (the biggest offices in the building, and they were the only people who didn’t have to share) and their EAs got to keep their (double normal size!) cubes, but everyone else lost their tiny shred of privacy and had 30% more people crammed into their already-crowded work area.

          It was more of a tantrum about the tone-deaf selfishness of our execs than about the actual loss of cubicles. They’d already taken our storage space and our common space and several of our conference rooms — the cube walls were the last straw.

          1. Nobody Here By That Name*

            We’ve got a situation like that at my office. Tons of lip service about caring about morale yet tone deaf to anyone who points out that the decision to go to a noisy open office plan that in no way supports the work we do is one of the many things killing morale at the moment.

          2. Allison*

            I have a cubicle for the first time in forever, and boy does it make me happy! Storage space and privacy? Awesome! But shortly after I got here, one person on the team said she wanted to just have the team in an open office setting with just desks, no walls, because she wanted to see everyone every day! She had an office, which they give to people with her job because she needs a space to make phone calls and communicate sensitive information in private. Either she didn’t realize she’d need to make those calls in the open, or what she really wanted was to keep her office but round up all the cube-dwellers and smush them into the area outside her office. Either way, I’m glad she works remotely now.

        2. No Name Yet*

          That ‘giggle and smile’ bait-and-switch part of your old job makes me *furious* on your behalf!

        3. My AAM is True*

          I recently had a weirdly dramatic response to an office/cube situation — from HR.

          Our company has recently redone all the furnishings of our building. In the process, they changed the rules for who gets to have an office. I’m one of the casualties: I’ve had an office nearly my entire tenure with the company, and now I’m moved to a cubicle. When I heard about the new rules, I sent an inquiry to the relevant mailing list, asking for clarification and asking if they had considering grandfathering those of us who lost in the deal. I believe I used the word “demotion.”

          I did not receive a direct reply. Instead, an HR person sent a message to my boss, his boss, *his* boss, and **his** boss, saying something about how they needed to talk to me and “rein me in.” My boss, to his credit, said no, this is crap, it is in fact a demotion, and he wasn’t going to tell me otherwise.

          I didn’t get an office, but at least the policy was finally clearly announced, along with the rationale; I’d like to think I had something to do with it.

      9. Detective Amy Santiago*

        OldJob liked to move people around a lot. It was incredibly annoying because they would only tell us like an hour before we were supposed to move and we had to haul all of our stuff back and forth without boxes.

        I was out sick for a couple of days and when I came back, found that my desk had been moved. Luckily, my work partner convinced them to swap our cubes so he was still to my right because we’d sat that way forever and were both in a good working rhythm that way. He also knew that I am very particular about how my desk is set up and make sure everything was in the same places.

        That was just one of the many ways that company didn’t respect employees though. There was no real business need to make us move around so much.

        2. JanetM*

          About 10 years ago, I came back from an extended leave (to help care for my Dad during his final illness) to find all my stuff in the hallway and new carpet being put down in the office. I didn’t quite burst into tears, but it was close.

          I probably would have been okay if, when I called on Friday to say, “Back in town, will be at work on Monday,” someone had said, “Oh by the way, we’re getting that new carpet we applied for two years ago.” But the surprise on top of six weeks of stress was a bit much.

        3. Gadget Hackwrench*

          After my boss quit on the spot one day (understandably they were a horrid place to work,) my grandbosses did their utmost to get rid of me. I was too good at my job to fire, so they rode my back until I had a panic attack in the office and then used that as a reason that I had to move to a lower level set of duties, while keeping the same pay, because I was too mentally delicate the job I’d been doing for two years. Funny thing is the lower level actually involved regular contact with angry angry angry clients. To the point where one of the things we had pinned up in our cube was what to say when you believe the caller threatens to kill you/bomb the company, etc.

          They moved me from a 3.5 wall 66″ high cube, the setup and organization of which I had full control over, to a much smaller 1+.5+.5 wall cube with 42″ walls… basically a library carrel, in another section where the desk policy was “No personal items other than 1 framed picture, 1 stress ball and 1 travel beverage cup. Nothing pinned to the walls except work charts and documents.” For a little while I got away with keeping my 6 inch fake potted plant, my flip flap and a canister of Thinking Putty, and put up some fun work related memes “If you don’t remember to restate the question, you’re going to have a bad time.” (we got marked off for not restating the question back to the caller.)

          About 6 weeks into it they came to me and made me take them all down, and get rid of everything and I had another panic attack. They had already changed my duties from something that used my skills to something that really didn’t. Moved me from a place where I could eat at my desk to somewhere I couldn’t. Put me on the phone with people who tell me daily they hope I get cancer, or hit by a bus, or they hope someone rapes me because I sound like a bitch who really need to get some, stuff like my little flip flap were keeping me SANE. In the end they decided that my Thinking Putty was allowed to be a “stress ball” which is honestly the only thing that got me through the last few weeks there before I put in my two weeks and came here.

    4. the gold digger*

      She is going on about how she wasn’t ‘consulted’ about the change, and never got a chance to give input, and that it is disrespectful and shows how little she is appreciated because they change the space and don’t ask what she thinks.

      I have never worked anywhere where I was “consulted” about something like this. I have worked for three F100s and have moved space about a gajillion times, including the time my entire team lost our window offices in the corp HQ building and had to move to cubicles in a windowless converted warehouse 13 miles away in an area where there were frequent carjackings.

        1. the gold digger*

          I did tell my boss that people do quit over things like that. We were furious. My boss, who got to keep his window office in HQ, didn’t even fight for us. He just said, “Someone else needed the space!”

          1. Amber T*

            I’m sure he would have done plenty of fighting if his window office was being reassigned… >.<

          2. K.*

            No office, OK, I could deal. No window, I could deal. No office, no window, an extra 13 miles added to my commute, AND a real threat to my personal safety? Nah, son. Two weeks’ notice and good luck to you. I withdrew from consideration for a job after I was told in the interview that there had been two break-ins that resulted in one of the workers getting shot (he lived) by the robber. The interviewer didn’t sound at ALL concerned about this when she told me; it was an afterthought. I told the recruiter, who was horrified.

            1. Clewgarnet*

              My company’s in the process of moving to a new office that’s 10 miles away from the current one, is in the middle of a high crime area (I’ve seen two drug dreals going on, and I’ve only visited the new office twice), doesn’t have enough desks for everybody, and they’re going to make us pay £750 a year to park in the company-owned car park.

              They can’t understand why people are leaving…

              1. Anne (with an "e")*

                Wow! How clueless!?! Come work for us. You can work in a high crime area AND pay an unnecessary, outrageous yearly fee for the privilege. And they wonder why people are leaving… Umm. Why, oh, why?

            2. Nic*

              The smoking area for my current building is out front. Across the street is an empty field lined with trees, and a community of transients live there and have for years.

              Twice in two months security came through on the night shift and let us know there had been gunshots across the street, and that if we needed to be walked to our cars let them know.

              There is a courtyard protected on three sides by the building, and open only to the back. Smoking is not allowed in this courtyard. When the smokers brought this concern to management, they received nothing more than a “noted.” All of management is on dayshift, and haven’t been present for these security alerts (though I can’t imagine they weren’t informed!)

              1. penny*

                Well to be fair,you could take a break in the courtyard & NOT smoke. The coworkers who want a break for fresh air without breathing in smoke would probably complain if it were allowed back there which wouldn’t change the situation from management’s end. So they aren’t stopping you from using the court yard, just smoking there and leaving it up to the smokers to prioritize.

      2. Punkin*

        Yes – we went from the plush golf course IT center to the “lakeside” office park – where criminals loitered by the lake.

    5. Beancounter Eric*

      “Consulted” about an office space change – yeah, right!!

      Closest I’ve ever come to being consulted about an office space change was “You can move today, or tomorrow – your choice”….and as for not being appreciated, she should just be happy to having a job.

      Tomorrow, she may not.

      1. Mike C.*

        she should just be happy to having a job

        Careful now employment isn’t charity, it’s an exchange of labor for money.

        1. Zombii*

          Seriously. I can’t take anyone seriously who responds to an employee complaint (no matter how childish or irrelevant) with “should be grateful to have a job” or similar, instead of acknowledging and responding to the actual complaint. It’s the ultimate Not Gonna Listen/Don’t Care statement.

        2. Gadget Hackwrench*

          People can get to thinking it IS charity when their bosses remind them on a semi-daily basis that there are plenty of other people willing to do their job… which seems to be the modus operandi since the recession started.

      2. pandop*

        It does happen. We recently rearranged our large open plan office, and there were various layout options which were discussed with the team – and as a result people are happy with the change (not least because we seem to have more space than we did before)

    7. Winger*

      This happened to me a couple years ago except instead of losing an inch, I lost about 2 feet and my cubicle became nearly unusable. Luckily I got transferred shortly thereafter.

      1. Artemesia*

        My favorite example of this is the shared desk in the movie Brazil — see if when you can if you haven’t.

        An office was made for me by cutting a large room in half and a colleague got the other half. Just before the construction was to start he came in and showed the contractor where to put the wall — in such a way that he got an extra foot and my office was very narrow — By the time I saw it, the wall was up so I was stuck — it was a very long narrow office — but at least long, so I did make an office nook and a table conference nook out of it as I frequently had clients coming in to confer and I could meet with two easily and 3 less easily — but that extra six inches would have made it a lot more pleasant. I had been saving this guy’s job for years when he was on the chopping block; the next time he annoyed management and his future was imperiled, I just kept my mouth shut and he was fired. I didn’t say a negative word, I just didn’t step up to defend him.

        1. Winger*

          Oh god, that scene in Brazil is exactly what I thought of. The best part of my situation was that a structural column that used to be in a space between two cubicles was now literally in the middle of mine. It was beyond absurd! If this had been a space for a 5’6″ intern to use, it would have been silly but fine, but it was totally ridiculous for a 6’3″ full time employee like me.

    8. GeekyDesigner*

      …Err Wow!

      I’m in a similar position where my office is planning on moving 6 designers into a space originally meant for 4 plus a small storage room. Each person would be giving up 40 sq footage of space and two wall cabinets. I doubt its going to happen because it leaves two people with about 22″ to walk into their office.

      No one else asked me if I wanted to share an office with this other designer. I have my own office ATM. The only reason why I haven’t said anything is I’m turning my notice in tomorrow as I plan on moving at the end of the month.

      But to complain about losing an inch?!

      1. required name*

        “I doubt its going to happen because it leaves two people with about 22″ to walk into their office.”

        Be prepared. Anything is possible. An old job had us sharing cubicles, two or three per. And they weren’t very big cubicles either.

        1. GeekyDesigner*

          About 5 of our office staff are CAD detailers. They’ve already started putting the kibosh on it as they see its not going to work with our existing furniture and what was in that storage (is actually material samples, laminates and such like you would see at a hardware store) isn’t going to fit in the space they want to move it into. Also they don’t think it’s fair that the designers have to give us so much compared to the rest of the office. Oh, and it’s not ADA compliant.

          I’ve also been told one of graphic designers will pull a literal fie if we move our a specific 3d designer over there. I have no clue if management knows how much the two don’t get along.

          1. SusanIvanova*

            I was going to suggest invoking the ADA on it. It’s amazingly effective. When I broke my ankle I discovered that the time out between waving your badge at the reader and walking the 5 feet to the door was 5 seconds. Try doing that on crutches. My friend the Wonder Admin waved the ADA at them and it got changed that day – normal facilities requests can take a week or more.

        2. Karen D*

          I shared a cubicle-sized office with another writer for awhile at a previous job.

          Fortunately, he and I were friends because Lordy, it was tight in there. For one of us to get in or out, the other had to have their chair pulled all the way up to the U-shaped desk we shared. That’s the way I generally sit, but he was a leggy fellow and liked to lean back, so I spent a lot of time feeling hemmed in.

          Also fortunately, his wife was a friend of mine and a sport, though she did observe that I spent more time in close physical proximity to him than she did.

          1. Aunt Vixen*

            Now remembering Dorothy Parker’s comment about the itsy office she and Robert Benchley shared at Vanity Fair. “Any smaller and it would have been adultery.”

          2. GeekyDesigner*

            BTW I love the use of the word Lordy. It was never apart of anyone’s vocabulary where I grew up. I became incredibly fond of the word when I had an amazing coworker from California who used the word quite frequently.

            1. Karen D*

              It was actually a word that particularly colleague used a lot :D That and “gee golly gosh” and a few exclamations that would have sounded utterly goofy/downright creepy coming from most grown men, but charming coming from him.

              And Aunt Vixen, that’s a great quote! The beautiful thing about this particular co-worker was that, while he was kind and affectionate with pretty much everyone he worked with, he was also very serious about his faith in a non-judgy way … and no question about the fact that he adored his wife.

              So nobody would have been very understanding if I had had a fit about sharing an office so small … they’d say “but … it’s with Wakeen though! you get to spend all day every day with Wakeen!”

        3. Vicki*

          I once had a job where my office was pie-slice-shaped. It had a door at the wide end (which was maybe 7ft wide) and it literally went to a point at the other end.

          I did not raise a fuss. I did, however, feel very un-valued.

          Eventually I had the opportunity to move into a different office. The woman who used to have that office had move to another state and was telecommuting. SHE raised a fuss that I was being moved into _her_ office. Which she wasn’t using because she now lived 600 miles away. But she might want to use it if she visited HQ for a few days.

      2. Magenta Sky*

        22″ is probably a building code violation. Certainly would be an ADA violation if there’s anyone who might ever need access in a wheelchair, but even without that. I suspect the fire marshalls would have something harsh to say.

    9. MillersSpring*

      I was at a new company and was promoted to team lead within six weeks. It was difficult to learn the company and the teapot design function there, so I asked if it was possible for all of the teapot designers and spout decorators at that location could be put in the same area. Just a preliminary question, not a formal request.

      Well one of the young women on my team got furious with me. Thought a little power had gone to my head. Didn’t know why I expected her to interact with people at work and help newbies. All because her cube MIGHT have gotten moved. She had a window and no f—ing way was she going to move.

      We each left that company years ago, and I think she still hates me.

    10. Ann O. Nymous*

      We’re about to go through an office renovation at my office and I’m amazed at what some of my coworkers in the things they are complaining about/asking for. A group of coworkers in one part of the offce, none of whom are remotely at the C-suite/senior level, is really annoyed that their office walls are going to get narrow glass panels next to their doors. They also were annoyed that our bosses were going to pick out their new office furniture and that the bosses were insisting the furniture is uniform. My bosses are definitely keeping their needs in mind and aren’t being dictatorial, but like, in what universe do you think that you have any say in this? It’s really bizarre.

      1. KRM*

        HA! We just had some reno done to add more office space in my area. The annoying new scientist is losing his proximity to a window (doesn’t have one in his current office, but can see through the glass walls through into the offices that do have windows). So he 1-tried to demand to keep an office that a director now has, and then 2-suggested that it would be a great way to “get to know colleagues” if we all shifted offices around on a set time schedule. Dude, suck it up. I know that you hate that I have a window and you don’t, but TS! Literally nobody else cares, including people who currently have offices in windowless corridors!

    11. Claire Underwood*

      How insane! Several years ago, I worked at a government funded agency and we needed to reconfigure several offices and add additional space for a new program with extra staff. It was a toxic environment to begin with, thanks to crazy people in leadership roles; think fail upwards. One of our program coordinators was a generally disagreeable and inept woman who was told that she would need to move to the office right next to hers while the construction was going on. Same size office. No difference. The ensuing meltdown included constant crying for 2 days, disrupting my staff’s time over the issue and threatening to resign over it.

      She ended up pouting for two weeks. What happened after that? She got promoted to Director.

      1. OhBehave*

        Argh! Rewarding bad behavior is always a good tactic – NOT.

        BTW – is it odd that I heard your user name in his voice?

    12. Jay*

      Years ago I left a job because we were moving out of state, and one of my colleagues wanted to move into my office because it was quieter. This was a 1960s building where all the rooms were the same – or at least I thought they were. About two weeks before I left, she came into my office to “check it out” and realized the door was on the other side of the front wall – I walked in to the left side of my office, and she walked in to the right side of hers. She was HORRIFIED. She had all her furniture arranged for *her* configuration, and it might not work with the door over there….I think I managed not to laugh, but I can’t swear to it.

  5. Bow Ties Are Cool*

    I would totally Hulk out if casual Fridays ended.

    And then I would work from home every. Single. Friday. Forever.

    1. CS Rep By Day, Writer By Night*

      They just took ours away last month. I Hulked out in the privacy of my own home instead of work though. And I no longer have the option of working from home either!

      1. The Bill Murray Disagreement*

        Is it a new thing for casual Fridays to go away? (I’m in consulting, so we don’t get them usually – but I didn’t know places were taking them away!)

        1. Frozen Ginger*

          Right?? What could be their reasoning, unless they have a lot of clients visiting of Fridays.

          1. tiny temping teapot*

            At my (definitely formal) office, you can only wear jeans on the last Friday of the month and you are expected to donate to the charity of the month (always local ones suggested by staff). No one’s policing it, the sweet lady who collects the donations doesn’t chase you down or anything, but yup, jeans only once a month and you should donate.

            1. Zombii*

              Toxic ExJob tried selling monthly “casual passes” to “let” people wear jeans and T-shirts on Fridays (weekends were casual but Fridays were not).

              This went on for a few years, then they realized it was kind of stupid to expect people to buy professional wardrobe if you’re only willing to pay them a few dollars over minimum wage. They changed the dress code to “clean clothes, nothing too skanky, no holes above the knee” (I’m paraphrasing). Just before I quit, most people were wearing pajama pants most days. Tiny rebellions, you know?

        2. CS Rep By Day, Writer By Night*

          My company was acquired by a larger corporation, and their office dress code does not include casual Fridays. :(

          1. AwkwardKaterpillar*

            We don’t get casual anything. No jeans – ever.

            During the summer they have a slightly relaxed dress code – in that women can wear sandals, (but only certain kids. They have to have a strap on the back and nothing between the toes) crop pants (but not shorter than midcalf) and *drumroll* skirts or dresses without hose!

            1. AMG*

              I couldn’t work there. You can put me in a cube the size of a bathroom stall with no treats ever, but I am wearing jeans or I’m working somewhere else.

            2. KatiePie*

              If I ever worked anywhere that hose were required with skirts, I’d…well, I wouldn’t work there. Good heavens, is it still 1982?
              I mean, I’m all for wearing them if it’s by choice, for fashion/vanity. But required? Nope. Nuh-uh.
              Also, very curious if this objection is due to my age (33) or location (CA), or if I’m right that it’s outdated?

              1. AwkwardKaterpillar*

                It’s definitely outdated. I’m in what is considered a fairly progressive upper Midwest city and it is not the norm in other workplaces here.

              2. Gov Worker*

                I’m sixty-one and cannot remember the last time I wore pantyhose. I couldn’t work there either. Hate pantyhose with a passion.

            3. Leggings are the new jeans*

              They expect women in the year 2017 to wear hose? Where on earth do you even purchase them any more? Im sorry.

          2. JM60*

            I love my office, where people wear jeans everyday (or at least on the three days a week we don’t work from home). I love my job.

        3. Noah*

          I never understood casual Friday. Either it’s okay to wear jeans at work or it isn’t. Why is it more okay on Friday?

          1. Noah*

            Me either. The airline I work for now is casual all the time, benefit of low cost. The previous one has casual Fridays but the rest of the week it was shirt and tie. Never understood why it was ok to wear jeans and a polo shirt on Fridays but the earth would end if we did it the rest of the week.

            Different Noah btw.

          2. Zombii*

            Casual Friday earns good will for the company and costs the company nothing. It’s a free morale boost.

            First, they get it into your head that professional dress is acceptable and casual dress is not, then they “give” you casual Friday: they “let” you “break the rules” because they want to give the illusion that they care about their workers without spending money on anything that would actually improve the workplace.

            If it’s casual all the time, there’s no more leniency they can give you: casual is the new standard, and people bitch incessantly whenever they have to “dress up” for corporate visitors (slacks, clean shirt and a blazer—maybe once per quarter).

            1. penny*

              Yes I always tell my boss this. It’s free & people get excited so if they allow it occasionally even outside Friday (like last day of a short week) they earn extra good will at no cost to the company. But man would I Love to be able to wear jeans daily! Slacks just aren’t as comfortable.

        1. ancolie*

          I love it, too!

          Have you seen the bowties that are made from feathers? So pretty! wwwDOTbrackishbowtiesDOTcom
          (not affiliated in any way, I just think they’re awesome. If this is too close to spam, Alison, I understand if you delete it!)

    3. Solidus Pilcrow*

      Not a freak out, but a former workplace had an unusually joyful reaction to getting casual Fridays. The company didn’t do casual Fridays or allow jeans until it was acquired by a larger organization that did. Thing is, they were already business casual. The men were already wearing khakis and polo shirts (or slacks and a button-down shirt for a dressier look). The women, of course, tended to vary more, but it wasn’t like they were wearing powersuits and nylons every day.

      1. Rebecca in Dallas*

        My (business casual, jeans on Fridays) office also had a very joyful reaction to getting to jeans being allowed every day. I don’t understand it, jeans are not that comfy to me and everybody dressed very casually before.

        1. Karen D*

          This is pretty much our dress code. We were purchased about six years ago, and the new owner issued a no-jeans edict (though pretty much everything else along the lines of “casual” was allowed, including open-toe shoes, sleeveless tops and non-denim capris) and you’d have thought New Owner gutted a puppy in the middle 0f the cube farm.

          Said edict kind of .. dissolved. People stopped wearing jeans for awhile and then started wearing them again. We were sold again and the jeans rule quietly disappeared from the online version of our employee handbook.

    5. Malibu Stacey*

      I work for a company that has branches all over the US. When my old counterpart was hired, our manager of sorts out of the Chicago office told we do Casual Fridays (but we don’t). It was just a mix-up because the mgr oversaw offices all over the midwest & probably forgot.

      Anyways, when coworker started and found out we were business casual 5 days a week she wore dress pants that look like denim with a tshirt that barely skirted business casual every Friday

    6. Hlyssande*

      We lost casual Fridays when we moved into our fancy office park because it’s a ‘fancy’ office park so they didn’t think anyone would be in casual. We also have the C-suite here, but the reason they gave us was the upscale location…which was disproven the very first Monday, when about a quarter of the people we passed wandering around were in jeans.

      We finally got it back four years later, woo. There was much rejoicing. When we moved here, we lost casual Friday, tall cubicles with actual privacy, and an onsite cafeteria where you could get breakfast + lunch for $10/day. We gained covered parking (great in MN), free Keurig and water +ice (in exchange for no cafeteria), and windows (yay). The cubes are at a height where everyone can see everyone, and they had to make emergency adjustments to put glass dividers up over the wall tops because you could hear everyone else as if they were talking in your face. They also added white noise. The sorest sticking point was the casual Fridays.

      1. Antilles*

        We lost casual Fridays when we moved into our fancy office park because it’s a ‘fancy’ office park so they didn’t think anyone would be in casual.
        I don’t understand this reasoning. Why exactly would you care what the other offices wear? Given that most office workers’ entire exposure to other companies in your building/office consists of “the walk from the car to the doorway”, I don’t see how this matters in the slightest.
        It’s also odd to wonder what would have happened if your neighbor was like, the post office or something.
        Would you suddenly start wearing postal uniforms?

        1. Hlyssande*

          We didn’t get the reasoning either, but there was no choice in the matter. That’s the excuse they gave, but I’m pretty sure the real reason was the C-Suite of the division in the same office. It just so happens that we got casual Fridays back when some of the upper levels changed. Newer Prez more laid back than the old Prez, but that didn’t really come out until the change happened.

          What’s frustrating is that our Austin corporate office is all casual all the time, except when VIPs visit. And by casual, I mean graphic tees and everything, as long as it’s in good condition. They get warning emails ahead of time to dress up when VIPs are coming.

    7. It's Business Time*

      We lost Casual Fridays when an IT person was looking at an issue in the boardroom with all of the top execs. His flip flops got caught in the cables and pulled the laptop and projector onto the floor causing a major disruption.

    9. MsCHX*

      My current workplace is the first place I’ve worked in a long time with a casual dress code (largish midwestern city…) I am not a casual dresser. It took awhile for people to get used to it and always referencing “comfort”. I mean, I happen to find jersey knit dresses to be the most comfortable thing EVER…but whatevs.

      So, I secretly rejoice, on the inside, when workplaces veer from a casual dress code.

      Sorry.

  6. PB*

    A couple years ago, I led revamping one of our workflows. The process was old, more than 40 years (!), and our administration was adamant that we had to modernize it. In truth, it was something that wouldn’t affect many people, and most other offices had made the change 20 years ago, but people were mad about the very idea that we would change it. I held a series of meetings with stakeholders, specifically to ascertain what their needs were. Getting this information was like pulling teeth. According to them, their needs were “Doing this the way we’ve always done it and never changing!!!” My personal favorite was one person who arrived at the meeting with a prepared written statement about why the old workflow was necessary, and titled it “Hills to Die On.” Why they thought that would make admin change their minds, I will never understand.

        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          Y’all, I just removed nearly 100 comments about the Oxford comma, which were clearly off-topic from the original post. The site rules are really clear on prohibiting off-topic comments.

          It’s really time-consuming for me to have to individually remove so many comments, and I need people to respect that rule.

          1. Noobtastic*

            For some reason, this just made me laugh so much.

            Maybe because it’s 5 in the morning, but wow. 100 comments?

    2. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      I had this happen once, with a lifer at my first job. He just crossed his arms, glared, and said “I’m not changing how I do my job, and you can’t make me.”

      Our boss at the time just looked at him for a moment and said, “This is a condition of your continued employment at this company. Do what feels best.”

      Lifer actually quit, and last I heard never worked again. That was his hill, I guess.

      1. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

        Because “you can’t make me” worked so well when we were toddlers…

            2. MegaMoose, Esq*

              I’m going to need to be careful drinking my tea while reading these comments.

              1. JessaB*

                I have learnt to never, ever, drink things whilst reading AAM. It’s too dangerous.

          2. Artemesia*

            A lot of people who fail to succeed in getting and keeping jobs do this because they are offended that people boss them around; their non-working relatives and neighbors agree ‘they can’t do you like that’. They seem to have missed the meaning of the word ‘boss.’

          3. Magenta Sky*

            “You’re resignation is accepted. Here’s a box for your personal effects.”

            1. Kathleen Adams*

              I knew a guy who used to regularly quit his job (the same job) – just throw up his hands, toss around some profanity, say “I quit” and walk out – but then after a half day or so, he would come back and act like nothing had happened. His boss let him do this for some reason or other.

              So this worked just fine until he got a new manager, who when he said “I quit” said “OK. We’ll cut you a check for the pay we owe you.” And that was that. Somebody finally called his bluff.

              1. Noobtastic*

                I once worked in a small office, where the office manager had quit multiple times, one time standing at the door of his office, while he was in a meeting, and holding up a legal pad with “I Quit” written on it in big letters with a marker.

                However, I will note that each times he came back, it was because the boss wooed and/or groveled to get her back. When the other people in the office quit, they stayed gone. He went through employees like sand through an hourglass.

                This was the same guy who set up surveillance equipment throughout the office.

        2. Working Mom*

          I once had an employee give me (her boss) the silent treatment because she did not like being on a corrective performance plan. She repeatedly made the same mistakes over and over again, and would always argue each mistake by saying that she disagreed that it was a mistake. The job aid and job description was apparently not enough proof to her that it WAS actually an error. She did many things, but the silent treatment was my favorite. I had far too much fun with it.

      3. Adam*

        I’ve never been interested in being a boss, but I find myself wishing I could have been in your boss’s shoes at that moment just to know what that felt like. There must be a certain exhilaration in dealing with unreasonable people and knowing you have the absolute last word.

      4. LSP*

        What makes me sad about this is having worked in state government, there are a TON of people who pull this because they believe that no one is ever going to go through the trouble of following the process to fire them.

        They are usually correct. :(

        1. calonkat*

          I had a relative who was a manager in state government. She WAS willing to do the documentation and process to get rid of bad employees.

          Her reward was everyone trying to transfer their bad employees to her :(

          1. Hapless Bureaucrat*

            In case my nom d’AAM was not a dead giveaway, I’ve worked in government long enough to see both of those. And also my “favorite,” the one where the manager does all the work to document, the person has just blown through their final warning, even the union has thrown up its hands… and at the last minute HR gets cold feet and transfers them to another division instead of firing them. A few years and a re-org later, guess who is back on the team.

            The best managers I’ve worked with were masters of the art of the gentle push. Sure I can’t fire you… yet… but look at how pretty and green the grass is at that other agency. I bet they even have free bagels.

            Now that I’m a supervisor I really appreciate having those examples.

        2. MsCHX*

          HR Manager who worked briefly for the state. Oh, the joy of getting bad managers out because no one would go through the process prior to the arrival of the new Director and then me. We really cleaned house!

      5. Lissa*

        Something like this happened at my first job (chain restaurant) when the supervisor told the owner “You won’t fire me, the store couldn’t run without me!” and the owner was like “yeah? there’s the door!” I don’t even remember what the issue was…

      6. Bea*

        My boss told me the reason he fired someone when he first bought the business was because he came in and said “these are the duties I won’t be doing any more.” “These are your job, you have to keep doing them.” “But I won’t do these things!” “Then you won’t be working here any longer, I’m sorry that you’ve decided to leave. I wish you the best.”

        The person was floored they were let go. Because there’s a world where we tell not a boss but an owner on top of that they don’t want to do essential functions of their job!

    3. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

      This is how my office mantra/hash tag.

      MEMORANDUM
      To: The Powers That Be
      From: Me
      RE: HILLS TO DIE ON

      1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        “We had to destroy the village in order to save it, sir.”

        2. Chaordic One*

          After an exhaustive search, we reluctantly came to the sad conclusion that there is, indeed, no baby in the baby in the bath water.

      2. PB*

        My old office did use “Hills to Die On” as a mantra.

        “I’m not doing it. It’s my hill to die on!”

        Unsurprisingly (unlike TNMBOIS’s former coworker), no one ever actually chose to die on the hill. But they seemed to think it was a magical phrase. If you said it was a hill to die on, then management HAD to respect it! They were very confused when this never worked.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          I’m very confused that people don’t really grok what “die on” implies. You’re willing to get fired over this? Srsly now?

          1. PB*

            Or quit or retire? You’re THAT tied to workflow?

            But to each their own, and if they’re willing to get fired over it, I’m sure not going to miss them.

          2. Lablizard*

            I’ve had things I was willing to get fired over (e.g. appropriate credit – and patent profits – given to junior staff, fighting back against a racist, sexist, anti anyone he thought was Muslim director). I would bet almost everyone has a hill.

            1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

              Sure. It’s just that those are more like distinguished mountains anyone would be proud to die on, and some people are determined to die on tiny, muddy hummocks that don’t even have names.

              1. PB*

                Yep. I’ve considered what my hills are. In my field, this would likely include: fighting for equality; fighting censorship; providing equal access to everyone, regardless of who they are or what they’re working on.

                The things my colleagues were throwing around as hills to die on tended to be things like: “I like the old workflow, and we’ve always done it that way.” That shouldn’t be anyone’s hill to die on.

              2. Aurion*

                If they really were determined to die on the tiny muddy anthills that’s one thing, but some seem only ready to posture atop the anthill and then get outraged when the other side actually advances.

              4. Lablizard*

                I think this is why almost every language has the equivalent of “making a mountain out of a molehill”. Some people see mountains everywhere

        2. Purple Dragon*

          We have a Customer Service department who take calls for orders. At one stage we had a Manager of that department who wasn’t performing and was eventually fired. Her replacement came in and told the team that they couldn’t all take lunch at the same time due.
          Half of the team pitched a fit and stormed into the new managers bosses office. They demanded that the new manager be fired immediately or they were all going to quit.
          Props to the new managers boss as she took them up on their offer and they were out on the street in under half an hour. It took several weeks to get new people into those roles and up and running but it was worth it to the company.
          I don’t understand how they thought it was going to end any other way.

          1. Anne (with an "e")*

            Why do people think that they are so irreplaceable that they do not want to comply with a perfectly reasonable new policy?

    4. sam*

      This this this this this.

      I mean – my company actually outsourced some of our back office processes. There weren’t that many employees involved, but a large reason that the company ultimately went to outsourcing as a solution was because any attempts to streamline/modernize internally were simply met with a brick wall of resistance. It finally got to the point where the people in charge decided that the only way they were going to bring these processes up to 21st century standards was to move them out for at least a few years and essentially have someone else do the upgrading.

      And this is a real danger of being resistant to change – you (and I) like to think we’re indispensable. We’re not.

      I knew someone at another company (I worked on the “other side” of several transactions from her) who, aside from being thoroughly unpleasant to work with, engaged in her own form of “job preservation” by keeping every document she ever worked on on her own computer and never sharing them with any other employee or the company’s servers – she thought this “knowledge hoarding” would make her too valuable to fire. And it did, for a while. But eventually, her bad attitude became too much and they finally got rid of her, even knowing she might destroy her files on her way out the door (which she did). And it took a lot of work to reconstruct her files, but the company finally decided it wasn’t worth being held hostage to her bullying behavior.

      1. Trillian*

        Her password was that secure? Once the decision was made, IT should have been on the case, making a mirror of that drive, and waving her off with a broad smirk.

        1. sam*

          It wasn’t my company, and this was well over a decade ago. I think she may have anticipated things as well.

          She was really something else. A guy who I worked with after her departure did not speak for several years while working for her. I didn’t know he existed until she left.

          At my firm, we would actually draw straws (or the equivalent) to see who would have to call her when we had to deal with her – can you imagine a bunch of professional lawyers, including a partner, basically all standing around yelling “not it” every time we realized we were going to have to talk to her about something?

        2. Chinook*

          If someone wanted to keep things secure enough in order to keep job security, it can be done by documenting just enough information to make it painful for them to leave. When I was hired at a tech company, the boss was reluctant to let me do anything because his last office manager did this type of knowledge hoarding. He literally laid off most of his staff before he laid off her because he knew it would be too much work to figure out what she was doing, but she was still let go.

          One way she did this would be by filling out something like a GST rebate form but not showing how she came up with the numbers she used. I discovered this when we got audited a few years later. I quickly told my boss that this had to change and showed him a better way to document knowledge. That is when he told me about the old office manager’s work style and why he was doing so much himself – he never wanted to be held hostage like that again. As a result, I went the opposite way and documented the whys and hows of everything I did so that I could free him up to do his actual work and leave the admin. type stuff to me.

      2. Misclassified*

        I’m surprised the company didn’t go into her computer during some off hours, before firing her, to obtain the files.

        Or were they kept on her personal computer?

      3. Artemesia*

        Why didn’t they lock down her office, then fire her? I can’t imagine not securing the computer when you suspect a knowledge hoarder will be malicious.

        1. JessaB*

          Forget that, why were they not backing up every machine in the place on a regular basis. IF people are allowed to save files on their machines, then those machines should be part of the institutional back up system. Either that or make it impossible to save locally. What if she were a completely nice, honest, lovely employee and her machine just DIED, instead of her being malicious and deleting stuff?

          1. Michele*

            Or even worse, what if she suddenly died? The information needs to be accessible, even with passwords.

            1. BananaPants*

              No kidding! We’ve sadly had two employees die suddenly at young ages in the last decade – one of the first steps was to have IT secure hard drives and laptops.

              We have automatic cloud backup anyways because around 4-5 years ago half of our group had sudden catastrophic hard drive failures in the span of 3 months. So much critical information was unrecoverable that our boss decided to pay the $7 per month per employee for the daily backup service.

      4. Bea*

        I’m laughing at that lady because I’m seasoned at doing everything from scratch. I pity the fool who thinks any documentation is worth being held hostage with. Thats why you walk a crazy lady out and she never sees the door slamming on her ass.

        1. JessaB*

          Yes, but it costs money (either your hours where you’re not doing the rest of your regular job,) or paying someone else to either check the drive or recreate stuff. Also unless she really knows how to scrub a drive, I’m surprised IT didn’t at least try to reconstruct it.

      5. Chinook*

        Ooohhh…we are currently battling that stubbornness when it comes to paperwork processes with one project manager (who otherwise is amazing at his job). He does the paperwork the same way he has for the last 25 years – on paper, creating very detailed binders of forms. Everyone else has switched to our (much more efficient) computerized system but he always claims he doesn’t have enough time. We have tried reason and even promises of all the data he could have access to with no luck. We pointed out that this was designed with direct input from the guys who opposed this type of change 10 years ago (the same group that sends me computer screen shots from their camera) and they like it. We offered to fly down to him and walk him through the process (which is not necessary because the interface has been proven to be very user friendly because of previously mentioned input). Nothing.

        But we are now thinking hell has frozen over because we saw that he clicked a button in one of the programs showing us his progress in the field. We are holding our breath to see if he completes the online forms before our internal deadline, treating him like a wild animal approaching humans for the first time – we don’t want to scare him off by being too enthusiastic. I swear, if I could figure out a way to reward him with donuts every time he did something correctly, I would.

      6. Magenta Sky*

        Somebody needs to go read the whole story of Terry Childs, who did prison time for that kind of nonsense. (Of course, he actively endangered lives, holding the 911 system hostage, but that affects the length of the sentence, not whether or not it’s criminal.)

        1. Sibley*

          I was in CA auditing government entities at the the time that happened. IIRC, they had to call in Silicon Valley experts to break into the systems. We spend the rest of that audit season talking to our clients about their processes to prevent that sort of thing. There were more than a few changes made.

          1. Mookie*

            IIRC, they had to call in Silicon Valley experts to break into the systems

            He gave the passwords to Gavin Newsom after Newsom agreed to a meeting while Childs was in jail awaiting trial.

    5. Xarcady*

      Long ago, I was a staff employee at a state university. When plans were announced to upgrade the software used by various offices on campus, and make all the new software interact with all the other new software, people quit their jobs.

      The software in use 3 or 4 major areas had been in use for over 25 years. (I am *not* making this up.) Jobs were designed to work with the software and its limitations, instead of the software being designed to assist people in doing their jobs. When faced with a total reorganization of everything–the software they used, the jobs they were doing–a significant number of employees could not cope.

      Me? I was the solitary employee dancing in the halls, delighted to get a new computer (because none of the existing computers could handle modern software), and thrilled at the chance to make my job easier.

      Then my office found out that we could customize our software a bit. And they voted to make it work as much like the old software as possible. We were not going to change our workflow. We were not going to change outdated forms. We were not going to change things that caused problems for everyone on campus at least once per year. No, we were going to fossilize those things and keep them forever.

      I walked out at the end of that meeting and went and cried in the ladies’ room. And started sending out resumes the following day.

      1. Adlib*

        OMG, this is my nightmare! I’m in the middle of a system change right now and trying to run it. This story will haunt me. (Yep, it’s customizable.)

        1. Xarcady*

          We were finally going to have the capability to email people. Instead of batch printing letters overnight, and having to send someone to go and get them from the computer center across campus every morning, getting student workers to stuff the envelopes, lugging everything to the mail room on the other side of campus, where every piece of mail got sent to the state capital to get postage put on, and then the mail could finally get mailed. It took 5-7 days for someone to get a letter from our office, and we dealt with time-sensitive matters, and most people got their mail after the deadline listed in the letter.

          I put my foot down over the email. It solved so many problems. But staff kept saying that people wanted to receive a hard copy of our notices. I pointed out that people were free to print their own hard copy. I could not believe that people were willing to accept a week-long process for mailing things over the 5-10 minutes that emailing would take. And that they didn’t mind dealing with the numerous complaint phone calls we received weekly. (Also had to introduce people to the idea of templates, mailing lists, and BCC.)

          Then they complained that the work-study students would have nothing to do. I had my one genius moment, and declared that the students were more than capable of filling in the names and info in the form letters, and gave the entire mailing situation to the students. Who did a great job.

          So then people complained that they had too much time on their hands, without all those letters to work on. Our boss squashed that pretty quickly.

          I had suppressed all these memories. Now they are flooding back. I will probably have a nightmare tonight.

          I wish you luck and more receptive audience than that university had.

      2. LKW*

        I had a client that would get extremely upset if anything on a slide was red. To him it set off alarm bells that this item or statement was an issue and was at risk or needed to be escalated.

      3. 2horseygirls*

        I feel your pain – I left a community college where many of the longtime admins reiterated daily how the old system (which was hobbled together with fishing wire and bubble gum, in an archaic programming language, and there was literally no one left on campus who could fix anything that broke) was FAR superior to the new ERP. Not.

        I unknowingly sealed my own fate the first day in the new academic division (after 5 1/2 years in the marketing and PR office – I was restructured out of my position) when, upon hearing that it took two secretaries two weeks (!?!?!?!) to key information from 130 background check forms into an Excel spreadsheet, I innocently asked “This is all basic demographic information except for 5 fields. We already have this from their application in the ERP. Why not run a report for a starting point of 85% of the information, add the 5 columns, update what has changed, and boom, done in a couple of hours? It is faster, more accurate, and more efficient.”

        The dean and the two secretaries looked like I had suggested a naked hula dance with flaming batons on the conference table.

        Finally, the dean asked, “And WHY do YOU have access to this system?” Because I was just a lowly secretary now, and the ONLY ones on the academic side (vs. administration/operations side) who were granted access by a papal dispensation were the dean, and SUPPOSED to be the dean’s administrative assistants. None of whom had any idea, or inclination to learn, how to use the ERP, and instead handed over their log-ins to the secretaries who did not kvetch and actually figured out the system. (insert eye roll here)

        “Because I have been the one pulling, deduping, then handscrubbing the 60,000+ name mailing list for the credit and noncredit schedules for the last 5 1/2 years.” Seriously?!?!

        After the dean terminated me, they went back to hand-entering, and nearly 20% of the next incoming class could not start classes because when they showed up for fingerprinting, their data did not match their identification. Hmmmm . . . . .

          1. JessaB*

            In some majors background checks are a thing (particularly law, education and medicine,) and since they’re going to check you to be licenced, they might as well check you BEFORE you start learning something only to find out after spending six digits in student loan money that you cannot go to work in that field because of X disqualification that they would have found out BEFORE you started if they’d checked. So most Unis will at minimum check people going into fields that require a check to get out of into the real world. It also gives you a chance to correct any wrong records, or get them expunged if you’re eligible. I have a friend with a twin brother who used to tell the cops he was Friend, if he got pulled over. If nobody had checked Friend, then they would never have found out.

          2. 2horseygirls*

            It was the basic nurse assistant program, and they had to be cleared to do clinicals in healthcare facilities.

        2. Noobtastic*

          Wait. Did the dean terminate you because you did your job for the last 5 1/2 years, and actually mentioned it? Because during the course of your job, you had access to something that you no longer had access to, but you still knew how it worked? Is THAT why he terminated you?

          Unbefreakinglievable.

      4. Artemesia*

        A state office I knew about moved from terminals to PCs and a new data base for a critical state function; the people in that office got the IT staff to refigure the computers so they worked just like the old terminals, fossilizing the system they were trying to replace. I think they got away with it.

      5. Kelly*

        As another public university worker who went through multiple software changes recently, that’s still sadly accurate. It was actually worse dealing with the longer serving people that couldn’t get how to use an online time sheet, learn how to use Outlook, and learn how to use a new work software. I don’t like Outlook much myself and would have preferred if campus leadership had been willing to spend more money for the Google package, which has better cloud support and more storage, but I kept an open mind. I still hate Outlook and prefer Gmail. I’m sure we’ll be switching to a new work software sooner, probably within the next 5 years. I hope by that time some of the ones who were resisting change will be gone.

    6. Library Lady*

      My dad tells a story about having to move a bunch of offices off the company’s old punch card system in the 80s. Some were very resistant, up to the point where the new equipment was installed and the old was removed. There was one guy who dug in his heels to the end, until my dad came around and said, “The equipment that runs the punch cards is gone. You have to use the new system now.” Then he took the punch cards off the guy’s desk and threw them in the trash. Walked out of the room, turned around, and sure enough the guy is taking them out of the trash.

        1. Blue eagle*

          We retrieved one of those from my parent’s old house last summer and hung it on our front door for Christmas!

          1. Just J.*

            We made the cutest table top Christmas trees out of Dad’s old punchcards………

      2. Kate*

        I was working in Japan during the big earthquake in 2011. My office was pretty shaken up (although we were far enough from the center that no one was hurt), and the only joy in that horrid day was realizing the punch card machine was on the floor in pieces.

        Sadly, it was back in working order when I returned the following week. Oh well.

    7. FCJ*

      I’ve been in the sort of opposite position, where the higher-ups decided that our workflow needed to be more efficient and that every location (I worked retail logistics) needed to have the exact same procedures–as in, open the boxes in a precise way in a precise order. And GOD FORBID if two people worked on different sets of boxes at the same time, even if Set 1 wasn’t big enough to require the whole team. It worked well for one or two departments, but mostly it was a huge waste of manpower, and regional management was so enamored of the new system that they wouldn’t listen when the actual workers told them which parts didn’t work. I probably got a little too invested in it (one thing I HATE is being micromanaged at my job), but I never had a flip-out.

      1. Stone Satellite*

        I’ve been on this side of it too. Our IT department (at a tech company) decided there was One Source Control To Rule Them All without consulting the teams who would be forced to use it to see if it was workable. For our team it wasn’t. It had a hard cap on file size, and meeting that with our product would’ve been months of work for the entire team, for a product that was about to sunset anyway. So, when the switch was made at corporate, we just ran our own source control on a box under someone’s desk and never mentioned it to anyone in IT (“shadow IT”, as it was called, was deemed Very Bad and could never be mentioned outside the confines of the team cubes). Maybe from the other side it looked like unreasonable intransigence but for us it was just practical.

        2. Gadget Hackwrench*

          “Arbitrary or micro-management, illogical decisions, inconsistent policies, the creation of unnecessary work and exclusionary practices will elicit a quiet, subversive, almost vicious attitude from otherwise excellent IT staff. Interestingly, IT groups don’t fall apart in this mode. From the outside, nothing looks to be wrong and the work still gets done. But internally, the IT group, or portions of it, may cut themselves off almost entirely from the intended management structure. They may work on big projects or steer the group entirely from the shadows while diverting the attention of supervisors to lesser topics. They believe they are protecting the organization, as well as their own credibility — and they are often correct.” <– The Unspoken Truth About Managing Geeks, we will fix it even if you don't want us to.

    8. danr*

      My old company was doing something similar and one group chose that “hill to die on”. They all refused to use the new process with all sorts of excuses. The whole department was laid off. They were treated just like the rest of the folks being laid off at the time. And they were all folks who should have known better.

    9. Mallory Janis Ian*

      One professor in my old department wrote a document, to the incoming new dean, entitled, “manifesto”. It was sixteen pages of stream of consciousness, with no capitalization or punctuation, about the inherent worth — nay, glory! — of the current pedagogy and why nothing should ever be done to steer the department off its current trajectory.

  7. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

    I moved into a more senior position at work and took over scheduling tasks for our team. I took the opportunity to change coverage on some tasks. While I was at it, I changed the colour scheme. The least popular task was filled in BRIGHT ANGRY RED every month, and I thought changing things up would help people feel less like the schedule was yelling bad news at them.

    I got no comment on the schedule changes, but one person flipped out over the colour scheme. Couldn’t handle it, super upset, needed it back the way it was, was convinced that the new colours would confuse everyone and nobody would be able to remember which of three tasks they were assigned to. Direct quote: “Can we please not change anything that we are not being forced to change?” In retrospect, it was a brilliant way to distract from the more substantial changes.

    1. Color Dependent*

      They were definitely overreacting, but in fairness, I recognize and organize everything I do by the colors I or my team has assigned to tasks, and if suddenly they were different it would confuse me and slow me WAY the heck down on my day to day. Actually more confusing than being assigned a different task entirely. I feel for them, but obviously they could have handled it with less drama!

      1. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

        Fair enough–I often don’t anticipate how much changes that wouldn’t bother me might bother others.
        Our tasks are big blocks that take up half a day at a time, so the change in colour would only confuse people the one time they looked at it that day… and most people instantly copy their schedule into their Outlook calendar, where they can use any colour they want.
        I ended up just changing the colour to slightly more pastel versions of the originals. So far, so good.

        1. Zombii*

          Thank you for toning down the BRIGHT ANGRY RED, on behalf of everyone who doesn’t understand people who actively try to make the Sharepoint pages they have access to look like a toxic neon throwback to my mid-90’s LiveJournal days. :)

      2. Amber T*

        Ditto, I’m a color coded type person, and if things changed suddenly I’d be confused… for a couple of days. You learn to adjust, or you personally color code your own tasks using your own system.

        (My boss once emailed me with a top priority project and called it “Code Blue.” I cheekily responded that blue was my mid-priority task code, so I’ll have it done by the end of the week. I laughed, but I also learned he doesn’t like jokes when stressed.)

        1. Amber T*

          *He laughed. I mean, I laughed too, but it sounds extra mean the way I initially wrote it. Oh, for an edit button.

          1. Hills to Die on (formerly AMG)*

            I would have totally lol’d at this. Glad I wasn’t there!

    2. WhichSister*

      ” In retrospect, it was a brilliant way to distract from the more substantial changes.”

      You have a future in politics

    3. Another Lawyer*

      We have a color coded task list system and we were changing the format and the new format was less compatible with colors so we had to make the switch without colors. My coworker cried.

      1. Ramona Flowers*

        I still haven’t forgiven Apple for removing coloured file labels. No, coloured tags are not the damn same!

        1. Another Lawyer*

          I worked for 12 hours to figure out how to get the color onto the files because I ALSO love it, but just not to the level of crying.

        2. Trillian*

          I’ve started adding custom folder icons to the folders I want to be able to find at a glance. I have a set of icons of different coloured folders. Command-I to open information on the icon file, click on copy (Command-C) the icon image, Command-I to open information on the target image, select and Command-V to paste the new icon image.

    4. LKW*

      I had a client that would get extremely upset if anything on a slide was red. To him it set off alarm bells that this item or statement was an issue and was at risk or needed to be escalated.

    5. required name*

      I like to bring up the Bikeshed Principle in meetings as a way to shut down/delay minor nitpicky details. You have no idea how many people have opinions on the precise shade of puce until they’re fighting over hexidemical color codes. It’s as great as the “parking lot” for Topics For Later on as away to keep meetings on track.

      But you’re right, when they’re fighting over color, they’re not fighting over the layout of the bikeshed XD

      1. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

        Well now I’m reading up about the Bikeshed Principle. Thanks!

      2. Boris*

        I’ve been in hour long meetings where very intelligent and important people have spent the whole time arguing about exactly where to position a lightswitch. I’m so glad to hear it has a name!

        1. Indigo*

          Philosophers are pros at this. A meeting I attended was once derailed for a good thirty minutes by an argument over which translation of Kant’s categorical imperative we should print on the t-shirts we were selling as a fundraiser for the Philosophy Students’ Union at my university.

    6. LCL*

      When I wrote my very first schedule for this group, which was done in rudimentary excel, I agonized over it and put it out a day late to allow someone to proofread it. After it was posted, our most attention to detail/excessively controlling person told me I had made a bad mistake on the schedule. The mistake-I dropped the hyphen from the numbering scheme, which appeared exactly once on the schedule. I dropped it on purpose because I thought my way was easier to read.

      1. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

        I’m still working in rudimentary excel… what have you moved onto? I keep thinking there must be a better way to do this, but I haven’t gotten around to figuring it out.

    7. SusanIvanova*

      Our bug tracking system puts things that it thinks are mega-high priority in BIG BOLD RED, *and* sends email every day about those. Most of the time they aren’t that mega-high priority. I got one tagged that way that technically wasn’t – it hit only one person, on pre-release software not even close to alpha-level testing stage – but that was because he was using it internally and eventually it would hit everyone. So it was my top job, but I changed the priority anyway because I was working on it and didn’t need the nag emails or the BIG BOLD RED text every time I looked at the list. The bug-filer knew I was working on it because we’d chatted in IRC about the details.

      He flipped out anyway because by changing it from BIG BOLD RED obviously I wasn’t making it my top priority.

    8. Julie Noted*

      The most senior staff in our department spent ages debating the colour of flags highlighting project status. Red for overdue was extremely controversial. Can we have a blue flag to say the project is overdue but it’s not my fault?

  8. Bolt*

    When I was working at a grocery store the manager went from being relaxes about us keeping our cell phones in our pockets to strict. So when she posted a notice on the bulletin board that there’d be no cell phones on our person, effective immediately, one of the bag boys lost his marbles.

    Within second of him approaching the bulletin board we see his shiny iPhone flying through the air before it landed (probably a good 20 feet away). He stomped over to it seething, realized he had broken the screen, threw it back down, and stomped on it with all of his might until it completely broke apart. (The joys of a parent buying an unstable teenager an expensive phone).

    The best part – the change in enforcement only applied to cashiers, not the bag boys.

    2. Drewby80*

      “The best part – the change in enforcement only applied to cashiers, not the bag boys.”

      My heart lifted reading this after the little turd destroyed his own phone. Hopefully his parents told him to suck it up until upgrade time.

      1. Allison*

        That might have been do-able 10 years ago, nowadays I think expecting anyone to go without a cell phone for more than a month or so isn’t really realistic. That said, making him pay for the replacement, thus limiting him to something cheap, might have been an adequate punishment.

        1. SimonTheGreyWarden*

          I don’t know, expecting a business professional or adult to go without a phone (especially a smart phone) is really limiting now – many of my students use them in place of computers. However, expecting a teenage boy to go without an iPhone isn’t unreasonable at all to me, and I definitely agree he should pay for the replacement.

          1. Adam*

            It seems like a fair punishment to me. The standards have just evolved as the technology did. In previous generations being grounded meant you couldn’t use the phone at home which was a pretty big deal. Then it was the internet. Nowadays it’s the smart device.

            1. MacAilbert*

              When I was a teen (I’m 26), grounding meant the only thing allowed was books. I wasn’t really allowed to go out of the house and hang with people ever, so I didn’t have a phone to take away. It really just meant no computer.

              1. Adam*

                It varies by the kid of course. When I was grounded I could still use the phone and usually the TV and even internet.

                For me, being grounded meant no video games. :P

                1. Saturnalia*

                  I liked to read and spend time alone, so I had to watch bad movies with my family when I was grounded. Just can’t win lol

                2. Becky*

                  For me being grounded meant I wasn’t allowed to go to the library and check out more books.

                4. Ev*

                  For me, it was no books and I had to keep my bedroom door open. Mostly so that my parents could check that I wasn’t sneakily reading.

                  (Admittedly, this was because I was grounded due to failing math because I spent all of class reading, so…)

              2. BookishMiss*

                This is exactly why grounding did nothing to me. I spent my teenaged life in my room reading anyway.

                1. F Manley*

                  It was on exactly this principle that my parents would ground me by not allowing me to read books. It was the Worst Punishment, reserved for when I was being really irresponsible. Prohibiting me from leaving the house would’ve done nothing to my usual habits, but not being allowed to read? Maddening.

                2. Antilles*

                  My parents would ground me by intentionally *not* sending me to my room, because there’s too many cool things in there. Instead, I’d have to sit in the living room and quietly watch whatever (awful) TV program they were currently watching.

                3. Hlyssande*

                  F Manley, I feel your pain. I was hit with a golf ball in the eye when I was in 2nd grade….right when I had discovered the love of my life, books. I was not allowed to read anything for more than six months. It was The Worst, and I hadn’t even done anything to deserve it.

                  I don’t remember getting grounded, but up until high school time outs happened with a terrifying antique chair that my parents had. It worked (no books allowed while in time out either).

                4. Nic*

                  Mine thought too highly of reading to forbid it, so my parents did what Antilles’ did (they called it “being a person”), and if I did go to my room I had to keep the door open.

                5. Ms_Morlowe*

                  My parents did the same as F. Manleys’–punishment was not being allowed to read. They later told me they used to get the *dirtiest* looks in public when they said “Okay, MyName: keep it up and no reading tonight”.

                6. Gazebo Slayer*

                  I had a friend as a kid who was failing two classes due to horrible bullying. Her only joy in life was reading and her mother took away all her books for weeks or months (I forget) because of those failing grades. (One of which was gym. Gym is hell, especially for a target.)

                  I considered it abuse then, and still do.

              3. Another Amy*

                When I was in a lot of trouble as a child, my parents would take all my books away. That was the best way to punish me. Well, except that before the age of 10, as a consequence, I had a book hidden in every room of the house.

              4. Lala*

                I was grounded *from* books for an entire month after getting a C on my last report card of the school year. That first month of summer was SOOOOO SLOW without anything to read. It was hell for a nerdy kid (we didn’t get a computer until the next year). It was only the second most ridiculous punishment I ever got, tbh.

                I totally cheated and read books when I was babysitting after I put the kids to bed, but I was limited to whatever was in the house I went to. I also did a lot of writing that month.

          2. Chalupa Batman*

            This. Teenagers not having personal phones is inconvenient, but not critical. After my daughter lost one phone and broke the other (accidentally for both, which is the only reason she had a chance to do it twice), she got no more phone. Even though she’s still on our plan, so we’re paying whether she has it or not. It’s our Hill to Die On.

        2. Liane*

          If it was my kid* he would have paid for the iPhone and been issued a cheap phone, preferably, if they still offer them, the type sold for young kids.

          *FTR, my kids didn’t get smart phones until they paid for them out of their own money

          1. Ciscononymous*

            This would have been my response. If you’re old enough to be out and about on your own, I’ll make sure you have a phone, but it may not be the newest, shiniest thing on the market. For this incident, I’d get as close to a Nokia as I still could until upgrade time, unless my child wanted to pay for the new phone themselves :)

        3. TL -*

          But you can get a really basic phone for much cheaper than an iPhone and just deal with the fact that you have slow, buggy, potentially dumb phone. :)

        4. Amadeo*

          One of those Junebug things with four or five programmable buttons for important numbers.

              1. AllTheFiles*

                He doesn’t need texting. I like the Junebug idea – “Ok son, press the picture with the guy on it to call dad and the picture with the lady on it for mom. That is it.”

        6. Honeybee*

          …sure it is. Most teenagers don’t really need constant access to a phone. Quite frankly most adults probably don’t really need constant access to a phone, either.

      2. Marillenbaum*

        You can have a $20 pay-as-you-go that you pay for yourself until upgrade time. In the interim, you get to also pay me back for my money that you wasted on a phone-breaking tantrum.

    3. Turtlewings*

      The sheer complete illogic of breaking your phone to pieces because you can’t carry it at work… I can’t facepalm hard enough.

      1. Lala*

        My brother has broken his phone out of sheer rage by throwing it at the wall at least twice. It’s the dumbest reaction, because then he has to replace the phone. He’s never thrown anything else or done anything else violent when angry, so I’m not even sure what makes him do it, other than some kind of bizarre financial masochism.

    4. Mononymous*

      Whoa. If that were my kid he’d never have a phone nicer than a 90s-era flip phone ever again (until able to pay for his own). If that!

      1. The Cosmic Avenger*

        Get them a Jitterbug, or a Firefly, if they still make them. VERY limited flip phones — the Jitterbug was designed as an emergency phone for seniors.

        1. Amadeo*

          Jitterbug, that’s the name of it! LOL, I called it ‘junebug’ a little further up.

          1. Mallory Janis Ian*

            Ha. When I was reading “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” with my son, that horrible little Greg Heffley received a jitterbug phone from his parents for his birthday. It had one button, for calling home, and that was all.

        1. Allison*

          yes! “well if you’re going to throw your phone and stomp on it when you get mad, you can use this Nokia brick until you learn to control your anger issues.”

          Seriously, I’ve tossed a phone or two when really mad, usually at whoever I was texting and wanted to get that connection point the hell away from me, but even then I’m usually careful to throw it at something soft, or not throw it hard enough to cause damage. I can’t afford to dispose of phones like that.

          1. Sprinkled with Snark*

            That’s the only thing I have ever missed about those old fashioned, heavy, curly cord phones – – the amazing satisfaction you get from slamming down the receiver in a moment of rage! Now all I can do is angrily thumb the screen for a few seconds.

            1. Thyme*

              When people at work get off phone calls that make them angry, you can always hear it when they slam down their phones (though they’re just standard plastic landline sorta phones.) It’s pretty satisfying to hear the click, tbh.

      3. Artemesia*

        He undoubtedly told them that it fell out of his pocket and a car in the lot ran over it or something. My daughter once dropped her phone and a porsche ran over it before she could pick it up — this was in the road as she got out of a car. We weren’t buying her phone, so I believed it.

    5. Jaydee*

      Was his name by any chance Ben Solo?

      I just love the idea of Kylo Ren working as a bagger at a grocery store. I imagine him covering the “Ben” on his name tag with tape and writing “Kylo” on it and using the force to push carts in from the parking lot.

      3. General Ginger*

        You leave my co-commander out of this :)

        (but seriously, that’s a hilarious mental image)

      1. Fafaflunkie*

        If only you pulled out your own phone and put his tirade all over YouTube….that would have been the piece de resistance!
        Apaologies for the previous post–it seems this blog and this phone don’t get along when it comes to posting replies.

  9. Mononymous*

    My coworkers in my current office panic and scream their fool heads off every time a delivery carrier comes to the door, as if said carrier was here to murder us all.

    (I work from home, and said coworkers are small dogs.)

    7. BethRA*

      You never know when one of those delivery people is carrying a bomb.

      At least, that’s what the Chief of Security at my home office says.

    9. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      My dog used to do this. Then, I ordered a squeaky toy, some treats, and a rawhide chew from Amazon Prime. Now, Mr. UPS Man comes to the door, and it’s all happy wags and whimpers.

      1. Mononymous*

        Oh, I wish I could get mine to understand that! Sadly their attention spans aren’t long enough for them to connect deliverer of the box with the box contents.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          I actually asked the UPS guy to stick around and opened it right there on the porch. :D

          1. Amadeo*

            At least he waited for you to do that. I had a postal carrier scream at me to keep the dog inside when I answered the door once. My GSD was standing behind me already, silent and just watching, pretty relaxed body language in spite of this woman’s totally uncalled for freak out. I didn’t have the change to invite her to offer toy or treat.

            1. bohtie*

              to be fair, some people are legit terrified of dogs. The guy who installed the cable at my new apartment got super-tense when he heard my dog barking inside and could only calm down when I mentioned that I’d put her away as soon as the truck pulled up. He said he’d been bitten several times on the job, including once by a huge dog that did some damage, and that it was hard to even listen to my ancient tiny mutt who literally has no teeth.

              In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve had a number of people who have to come to my door or inside be visibly relieved when I tell them “Please ignore the dog, she’s shut in the bedroom but she yells a lot”

              1. Liz in a Library*

                Yeah, my sister got chased and bitten by a large dog as a small child, and it has taken her a long time to be comfortable. She’s now good with specific dogs she’s met multiple times, but she’s genuinely tense even with friends’ dogs she doesn’t know well.

            2. Thyme*

              Not everyone can read dog body language, and there are a lot of awful dog owners out there who don’t have well behaved dogs. I love dogs, personally, but I respect dogs and I get why people are nervous – especially if their work means they come across strange dogs a lot! And some people are just afraid.

            3. tigerStripes*

              I love GSDs, but I also have a lot of respect for them. They’re big, powerful dogs (and so sweet and adorable!)

      2. TootsNYC*

        If I were the UPS guy, I’d be asking people for permission to give their dogs treats.

        1. Beancounter Eric*

          UPS guy used to carry dog treats and would leave a couple on top of our packages for our late Flattie.

          1. Michele*

            We had one like that for a short time. My dog lived for another 12 years and was convinced that every UPS truck was going to bring her a treat.

          2. Paquita*

            UPS guy comes to our house when he is in the neighborhood even if we don’t have a delivery. He comes to bring treats for our dog.

        2. Manic Pixie HR Girl*

          My MIL’s mailman does this! Her GSD thinks he’s the greatest thing since bubble gum (and she is definitely a Guard Dog … or thinks she is … until you give her pats and treats!)

        3. Rebecca in Dallas*

          Haha, an Amazon Prime delivery driver had a treat out and ready once when I opened the door! My dog wolfed down the treat, then kept barking at him lol.

        4. Venus Supreme*

          Our mailman carried treats with him and would always give a couple to my family’s dogs. Our one dog looked forward to the treats so much, she’d jump in the truck with him :)

        5. kavm*

          my UPS guy brings treats! he’s really nice. my dog totally freaks out when the truck goes by, but she generally gets overexcited about visitors.

        6. Agile Phalanges*

          My boss has a teacup yorkie that hollers at everyone that walks in the door here at work (and we have both delivery drivers AND walk-in customers multiple times per day. Fun.). A few of the drivers bring treats. She barks her fool head off as they arrive, barks as they drop the treat and walk away, barks as they leave the building, and then as soon as they drive off, she happily eats the treat. She will NOT be bribed.

        7. Mallory Janis Ian*

          Our UPS guy used to give dog biscuits to our German shepherd when he’d make deliveries. He set packages in the carport at the back door, and our dog’s backyard gate came right up to the carport. He brought a treat in front of us, and we told our dog, “It’s okay Cybill [Shepherd]; you can have it”, and she loved the UPS guy ever after.

        8. Cadbury Cream Egg*

          The UPS guy that would deliver to my old apartment kept treats on his truck. You would see dogs sprinting across the grounds (frequently with leashes trailing behind them which made it all the funnier) and go IN TO his truck looking for treats. He and the dogs loved it.

    10. WhichSister*

      According to my live in home security toddlers, leaves and gusts of winds are all just terrorists in disguise

      1. Liane*

        Is my family the only one with a dog that loudly warns off malicious air molecules? (That’s our theory as to what he’s alerting about.)

        1. Wednesday Mouse*

          My friend’s cat tries to warn us all about the space monkeys that she can clearly see (she watches them, intensely), but us dumb humans can’t.

        4. Adlib*

          Our family’s late Great Pyreness used to bark at hot air balloons in her air space. She also barked at donkey poop.

          1. KellyK*

            My pittie barks at birds, and chases them. Not birds in low-hanging tree branches that he might have a chance of getting at, but hawks circling a hundred feet above him. It’s even funnier when he does the same thing with jets.

            He’s also fiercely defended us from a crayfish that was advancing on the house.

          2. Ms Ida*

            My Pyr is being terroized my a pug that walks by every day and bars as he goes by. My dog is losing her mind. I am worried it will distract her from her guarding duties. If she is distracted who will tell me a new leaf fell on the lawn?
            We are in a flight path so she doesnt pay attention to planes but I suspect a hot air ballon would get her attention.

        6. Rachel*

          One of my dogs barks at the ghosts on the front porch. Either that, or he’s figured out that when he stares at the door and barks, the other dog will abandon the toy/human/spot on the couch and then he can snatch it. Either he’s dumb or manipulative. I can’t tell.

    11. Kelly L.*

      Have you seen the Oatmeal’s “if my dogs were middle-aged men”?

      MURDERER! MURDERER!

    12. Lucy Richardson*

      Ha. I have now added a front yard security sweep of the front yard to my morning routine, as our “intern” is hopelessly distracted by our “gardening staff.”

      I know training the puppy not to bark is the long term solution, but before I’ve had my first cup of coffee, shooing the rabbit into the woods is the path of least resistance.

      1. LavaLamp*

        I actually got out of my car at 4am to shoo a bunny out of the ATM lane at my bank. Bunny glared at me, as it was raining and he looked rather soggy. I’m guessing the ATM was warm.

    13. OtterB*

      When I’m working from home and have a conference call, I’ve been known to have to explain that I’m muting my phone because I’m being defended against the mail.

      1. Anlyn*

        I have to explain that the neighbor dog started barking, and mine had to show her support and solidarity.

        1. Qmatilda*

          Every single time. The GSD mix next door can’t help herself and mine gets all unsettled on her behalf.

      2. Just J.*

        I’ve had to explain that my cat thinks I am talking to him and he is talking back.

        1. Spoonie*

          My Yorkie mix warbles/sings at me sometimes. I rue the day I start working from home regularly and have to explain that sound because it’s not a normal dog noise.

        2. Shishimai*

          Done this with a parrot.
          …who would start chirping and screaming, LOUDLY, every time I was on a work phone call. He seemed to know – he didn’t yell when I was on the line with, say, salespeople. No, he saved it for the boss.

    14. Red Reader*

      Mine do the same thing, only they’re hound mixes, so many’s the time I’ve muted three seconds into a big beautiful bloodhound I GOT SOMETHING MAW bay at the door from my office into the backyard and caused my entire conference call to pause for a second.

      2. Hlyssande*

        A friend of a friend has bassets – they definitely do that. BAOOOOOOOOOOOOW! BAAAAOOOOOW! Forever.

      3. Not So NewReader*

        For the first few years my mutt said “I love you” randomly, but each word began with a W. “Why Wove Wooo”. But the way he did it, it would be hard not believe he wasn’t saying I love you. He was pretty clear.

        When I interviewed for my job that I have now, I had two choices. Lock him out of the room I was in and pray he did not start with those ear piecing cries OR keep him with me and rub his belly the entire time and pray he dd not decide to join the conversation with his I love you’s. He got a two hour belly rub.

        I later found out that my boss would not have cared in the least, found the situation very funny and probably would have said, “That is something that would happen to ME.”
        I took a temp job later, he actually did talk on the phone interview. That boss did not care either.

    15. ConsultantQueen*

      My colleague just came over to me to see what’s so funny because I couldn’t stop giggling

    22. Anonicat*

      My dog is so excited to see the delivery guy that she prances in a circle around him all the way from the gate to the door. I have no idea why she loves him so much but the poor guy is from Singapore where huge black dogs are not normally family pets, so she freaked him right out the first few times.

  10. not so super-visor*

    I guess it’s not that ridiculous, but we just standardized our email signatures yesterday. People flipped out. “Why can’t I have this picture of my dog in my signature?” “But I’ve always used pink cursive font — it’s cuter.” “You’re crushing our individuality.” Another department manager had employees who threatened to quit. I really didn’t think that having a standard email signature was that big of a deal. This is literally the only company that I’ve worked for that didn’t have one (until now).

    2. Bow Ties Are Cool*

      Waaay back when HTML mail was a new thing, all of The Ladies (a relatively harmless clique in our office) changed their email backgrounds to PRINTS! Cute prints! Colorful prints! With color-coordinated imitation-handwriting fonts!

      Two years later, the company standardized emails–colors, fonts, signatures, everything. Those of us who would normally have chafed against that level of strictness were just relieved that we’d once again be able to read everyone’s email without courting a migraine.

      1. not so super-visor*

        oh yeah… they banned the backgrounds and standardized the fonts/sizes too… that was definitely part of the “outrage.”

        1. Ciscononymous*

          I mean…that might earn an eye-roll from me, but definitely not a fit. Wow.
          We have guidelines but not standardization, which I think is a nice compromise. But ultimately…meh?

        1. Working Mom*

          I hate it when people have email backgrounds! Even worse when I have forward the chain to someone and it looks like I have a rose pastel background on my email. GRRR

          1. 2horseygirls*

            In Outlook, when you forward, you can go either go to Options, Page Color, and set it to No Color, or I think if you right-click, there might be an option to remove background on forwards, and replies.

          2. ReneeB*

            Ooooo! I had to learn how to do this because I also refused the pastel pink scourge on my emails.

            1) Choose “Forward.”
            2) Choose “Options.”
            3) Under the “Themes” group, play with Colors, Fonts, Effects, and Themes until *it goes awwwwway.*

            Breathe a sigh of relief.

            Curse the college who makes you do this every time.

      3. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        One of the admins at my old employer had a psychedelic email background and three-paragraph signature with inspirational quotes. She was literally sobbing when standard signatures, colors, and fonts were implemented.

      4. Adam*

        Whoever implemented the email wallpaper in MS Outlook I want to find and give a stern talking to.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          Sort of like the guy who invented Comic Sans. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU SON OF A BITCH”

          1. Adam*

            I’d throw in the guy who invented Papyrus as well. The complete upheaval of the production of church bulletins would be tremendous.

            1. memoryisram*

              I am really, really tempted to see if I can block all three with group policy. I’ll let you know if I’m successful.

          2. Marillenbaum*

            Comic Sans was actually designed to be an easy-to-read font for people with dyslexia. I’ve been way less mad at how ugly I find it after I learned that.

            1. TootsNYC*

              That’s not true–it was designed to be casual. There IS a font for people with dyslexia, but it’s not Comic Sans.

              It might be easy to read for them, however.

              https://go.learningally.org/dyslexia-does-font-really-matter/?gclid=CjwKEAjwl9DIBRCG_e3DwsKsizsSJADMmJ11De9CPT0RAP1QN1qEXyeMMPSpEER8t809dCbsLJzLrhoCpG_w_wcB

              Though…research has shown that when teachers do their handouts in a slightly-hard-to-read font, students retain the info better. And Comic Sans was among the fonts that were effective.

              https://hbr.org/2012/03/hard-to-read-fonts-promote-better-recall

              1. ElectricLady*

                Interesting to see that Trebuchet is one of the easiest font to read. It is one of my favorite fonts to use (the other one is Garamond)

            1. Noobtastic*

              Me, too!

              Actually, I used them both for a personal project, but when I had to transfer it to PowerPoint, for publication, they both got switched to Arial, automatically. Now, I just start with Arial, so I’ll know what the end product will look like.

              But I still like Comic Sans and Papyrus. And when people say they need a sarcasm font, I always volunteer Comic Sans.

          4. Construction Safety*

            Dunno. We had a client who buried us with monthly forms. I filled out mine in Comic Sans to protest.

          5. Seven If You Count Bad John*

            I asked my brother-the-Art-Director why all the haterade for Comic Sans. I mean, to me it’s just…eh, whatever. And he explained to me that it was designed for a particular use, that it’s really really suitable for, but that it gets abused and misused and applied in really inappropriate ways. Mainly, people wouldn’t hate it so much if it were being correctly applied.

            1. Zombii*

              Totally agree. The creator of Comic Sans in no villain, the real villains are the people who decided to print the big sign in the break room that says ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING? ONLY USE THE BREAK ROOM ON SCHEDULED BREAKS!!! in Comic Sans. :(

              1. Noobtastic*

                Yeah, Comic Sans is a comedic font. You should only use it for light-hearted stuff. Like comic books and funny stories.

                Papyrus, on the other hand, is for high drama set in Ancient Egypt, or at least the Middle East, preferably Sumerian or Mesopotamia.

                What stumps me is what font to use when I’m writing a comedy set in Ancient Egypt.

          6. Cath in Canada*

            I once got a fortune cookie that said “You have a deep interest in all that is artistic”, in Comic Sans. I have a friend at work who’s an artist / designer / data vis guy who hates that font more than anyone I’ve ever met, so of course I left the fortune on his computer keyboard while he was away on a trip to annoy him. It’s now the banner image on his Twitter profile :D

          7. nonegiven*

            Why do people hate Comic Sans? I love Comic Sans, it’s so much easier to read.

            1. Em*

              I know a grade one teacher who uses it all the time because the “a” and “g” look the way the children are being taught to print them.

      5. Allison*

        I remember when AOL had stationary for emails, and booooy did I use that stationary. I was in middle school.

      6. misplacedmidwesterner*

        I have a coworker who when she sends me an email, I immedately hit control+a and copy it over to a word document, change it to arial and then read it.

        I can’t read the twelve fonts and colors she always uses.

        Once in a hall I overheard someone gushing about how much she loves this woman’s “cheerful” emails and I wanted to scream.

        1. Mike C.*

          You should have saved your coworkers the trouble and Reply-all with the converted message.

          “Hey guys, here’s a version everyone can read!”

        2. Nic*

          I had a coworker who did this in all process documentation, which was on a shared location. If someone went in and standardized things, it would only be a matter of hours or days before it was rainbow hued and running the gamut of sizes.

          2. Mallory Janis Ian*

            Someone should create a read-only of the standardized version and lock the permissions so she can’t change it. Entitle it “doc-name-LEGIBLE”.

        3. Mallory Janis Ian*

          Ugh, one of the other department head’s assistants in our college sends emails in a cursive handwriting font. I always convert it to Calibri, because I am NOT going to strain my eyes and hurt my brain on that nonsense.

    3. Jesmlet*

      We changed the color of our names to a slightly different shade of teal and people were so grumpy about changing it. It takes literally 2 minutes to change and they were given very easy instructions for how and why.

    5. Jen*

      YES! We did this one too about a year ago and people lost their damn minds. “But why can’t I put an animated gif in my signature!” or bible quote. Or photo of kids. It was INSANE.

      2. Kiki*

        I have been known to put memes in my email signature. But only for internal emails to people who I know would find it amusing.

      3. Elizabeth West*

        At Exjob you weren’t supposed to have quotes in your email sig, but people did it anyway. I always rolled my eyes when I saw them because they weren’t even good quotes.

        Mine would have been something like “Yer a wizard, Harry.” — Hagrid That way everybody knows who they’re dealing with. :) #nerd

        1. IT_Guy*

          Mine would have been “Do not meddle in the affairs of DBA’s for they are subtle and quick to Index” – Double geek score!

        2. Rebecca in Dallas*

          Ugh, one of my coworkers at ExJob figured out how to make an email signature in Outlook, so she added a quote. “Working together for the commen good.” Yes, “common” was misspelled and no, I never pointed it out to her. She and I didn’t get along, so it made me smile every time.

          1. Life is Good*

            This makes me laugh! At my old job, we had a standard email signature and font. One lady decided she needed to be “unique” and changed the font color to red EVERY time she started an email. Many people in other offices asked co-workers, with a chuckle, why she was yelling at them when she emailed. She had no clue people were laughing at her weirdness.

          2. Noobtastic*

            I once had to work with a hotel to fix a billing issue, and at the end, I got a confirmation letter, with “Sorry for the incontinence” in the closing line.

            I kept that letter for a long time, for whenever I needed a good laugh or to point out to young people why it is important to know how to spell, all by yourself, and turning off the spell-checker is a good thing.

        3. GreenForDanger*

          I actually compile all the really terrible inspirational quotes that people who write to me include at the end of their emails. I have ten pages of them. Some of them are just crazy, my favorites being “”The head that sticks up gets pounded” chinese proverb on nails sticking up on a floor” – who would think that that was a good message to send – and, from a sheriff, “”There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough have never cared for anything else thereafter.”–Ernest Hemingway “. I was his supervisor and had to tell him that in Canada, where the message we give sheriffs is that their first duty is to de-escalate a situation, you don’t want to advertise that hunting armed men has jaded you for the rest of life.

          1. Noobtastic*

            My favorite “collected” quote is “Nick it in the butt!” attributed to Barney Fife.

            Someone needs their hearing checked.

          2. Mallory Janis Ian*

            “The head that sticks up gets pounded” should be on one of those demotivational posters.

      4. required name*

        I’d love to ban bible quotes in signatures, along with any and all kinds of inspirational quotes. And pictures. Those, too.

        Why, yes, I do get way too many e-mails where the “signature” is three times as long as the actual e-mail.

        1. Writelhd*

          One time I got an email where the signature was a photo of the person who’d sent it in kinda of a cheesy portrait style. Except it was huge, like 4″ by 6″ on the computer screen. I don’t know if the size was intentional.

        2. MoodyMoody*

          I work for a publicly-funded community college, and we are not allowed to have any religious quotes in our signatures. So not only were the roughly 283 colleagues with Bible quotes unhappy, so was my boss. She had to remove her Quran quotes, too.

        3. Nanani*

          For me it’s not so much quotes as it is faux-legal copypasta about deleting this email immediately if it has been sent to you an error and not printing it out without written permission in triplicate etc etc. Usually in 2 or more languages per email because of my field (translation).

          Love gmail’s option of just showing the body and skipping the signatures altogether

        4. JanetM*

          For a while, our required email signature at work included, among many other things, a large image of a map showing which building we had moved into.

    6. alter_ego*

      What is it with people who think their individuality is something that their workplace needs to respect. We had an “office warming” party when we moved to a new location (we work tangentially to construction and architecture, so showing off our office is a big deal for impressing clients). We were asked to tidy our desks in anticipation of about 100 people that were going to be milling about our space, judging our suitability for hire based on it. One of my coworkers lost his *mind* about having to tidy. We were all allowed to leave our personal items on the desk, we could even leave our papers and such. They just wanted us to basically wipe down the surfaces, and square the papers up so it looked somewhat organized. He went on this huge rant about how apparently the image that we wanted to project to our potential clients was that we were all mindless corporate drones, not people with actually personalities.

      1. Adam*

        Tangentially, that reminds me of an argument I bore witness to. A guy thought it was dumb that he could be rejected from attending a private charity event that was a dress-up affair even though he wanted to show up in jeans and a hoody because that’s what he likes wearing.

        “My money is just as good as anyone else’s. Why should they care what I wear?”

        Well in the broader context they don’t. There’s nothing stopping you from donating online, but to attend this event they’re creating a certain atmosphere which means they’re using certain social rules.

        1. MegaMoose, Esq*

          Unless you’re Mark Zuckerberg, but in that case, your money isn’t just as good, it’s BETTER than anyone else’s.

        2. TootsNYC*

          The other guests care what you wear!
          Having everyone dress up creates a very definite vibe! (I always feel sorry for people who go to the theater in NYC wearing their fancy clothes. They’re surrounded by people in casual clothing, and it’s just not as fun, I’m sure.)

          And collectively, they give more than you.

          1. Adam*

            So my office is right across the street from my city’s symphony. One time I went after work to attend a concert. I didn’t dress SUPER nice, but I wore clothes that wouldn’t be out of place in my generally professional level office.

            Now the thing about this particular concert is that it was a video game concert dedicated to the music of The Legend of Zelda. So a good number of attendees showed up in costume. A lot of Links and Zeldas running around. This keeps in the spirit of the event so I think that’s cool (and a five year old dressed as Link is THE cutest thing in the world and I will fight you on this).

            But to this day I remember the one guy who looked like he rolled out of bed and just grabbed whatever clothes were lying on his floor including dingy cargo shorts and a T–shirt with the phrase “Who pissed in your cereal?”

            I was just “Dude…really?”

            1. Taylor Swift*

              I roll my eyes heavily at anyone who wears t-shirts with those kinds of slogans designed to provoke or be outrageous. If the only way you can get attention is by wearing a printed slogan, something’s wrong with you.

              1. Mallory Janis Ian*

                Thank you! And I’m also looking at parents who send their children to school in t-shirts with slogans extolling character traits that they’re ostensibly supposed to be correcting.

              2. Redtail*

                I once found myself waiting in line at an educational event next to a guy who was wearing an “artfully ripped” tshirt… with an image of a mostly-naked woman on… in an embellished diamanté bikini. Even worse, it was a family-friendly setting. Seriously, dude?

            2. Honeybee*

              I actually wore a nice dress to Symphony of the Goddesses and everyone else (including my husband) was in cosplay or Zelda t-shirts. I felt so overdressed, lol.

      2. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        “You’re right, Wakeen. We don’t want your personality on display.”

          1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

            Quite. The English language is tricky sometimes.

          2. Dweali*

            You mean that’s SUPPOSED to stay silent?…….huh, maybe that’s where I keep going wrong :-)

      3. Collarbone High*

        Ha, I witnessed a similar incident where we were asked to tidy up for a VIP visit and our department manager was out that day. He had approximately 78 bottles with 1 cm of molding soda on his desk so someone collected and recycled all of them. He threw an epic fit when he saw it the next day.

          2. Noobtastic*

            My first office job: One of my duties was to wash the coffee cups. Mind you, there were only three of us in the office, two of whom drank coffee, and there were about two dozen cups.

            One day, I noticed that every last cup was missing, so I went around the office, collected the coffee cups, most of which still had coffee in them, and several had mold growing in them, and I washed the lot.

            The bossman yelled at me, because he claimed he was conducting an experiment. Well, to be fair, he WAS a scientist, and his product was supposed to kill mold. But, as I told him, “There are these things called petri dishes.”

            His wife (the other coffee drinker in the office) thought that was hilarious. And I never got yelled at for washing coffee cups again.

            But to this day, I am confused. Was he REALLY running an experiment? Or was he just saying that to mess with my mind because he was embarrassed to have left out so many used coffee cups?

        2. Annie Moose*

          Do you get bottle return refunds? I wonder if that was part of his anger–in Michigan, that’d be $7.80.

          1. Collarbone High*

            Nope, no refunds. He was just mad because “I liked my desk the way it was.”

        3. Ann O. Nymous*

          This reminds me of the time I sent out daily emails for a week warning people that I was going to clean out the fridge on Friday afternoon and throw out anything that was moldy, including the Tupperware it was in (at the direction of my boss). On Friday afternoon, our bookkeeper came in and berated me for throwing away perfectly good food and containers and for not telling her I was doing this. She wanted me to clean other people’s moldy salmon, rotting rice, blue chicken, etc. out of their Tupperware and go around to everyone and return their Tupperware to them. She also pulled several moldy items out of the trash and pointed out to me how the mold could be “cut off” and things could still be eaten.

          Is it wasteful? Yes, but my boss told me explicitly NOT to spend my time cleaning other people’s dishes, which I appreciated. Not effing happening.

          1. Aurion*

            wow, even if you were to go through the effort of cleaning all those containers you don’t get to keep them?

            1. the gold digger*

              Yeah, I wouldn’t throw away Tupperware, but if I’m going to wash it, it’s going home with me.

              (The only thing of my mom’s that I want when she dies is her Tupperware. That stuff is almost 50 years old and still going strong.)

            2. Ann O. Nymous*

              Based on the gnarly stuff that was in those containers, I wouldn’t have wanted to keep them even if I had gone to the trouble to keep them. And I’m glad my boss didn’t make me, as cleaning foul-smelling salmon and blue avocados out of other people’s Tupperware would’ve been completely demoralizing. I’m not normally so wasteful, but making myself retch as I bleach other people’s forgotten lunch containers from 2 months ago is Not. My. Jam.

              1. Sprinkled with Snark*

                You CANNOT cut off mold from one part of a piece of food and eat the rest. If it’s moldy, it’s ALL moldy. The entire piece of bread or burrito or pancake or cheese is already moldy even though you might only see it on one part. You and your boss did the right thing to protect your co-workers health and safety. I wouldn’t be surprised if the woman telling you to save 50 year old plastic tupperware and cut moldy portions in half is a secret hoarder.

                1. Collarbone High*

                  I have been having this fight with my miserly dad for three decades now. No, dad, you cannot cut off the moldy part and eat the rest, and “penicillin is good for you” does not apply here.

                2. Zombii*

                  Or maybe just poor/grew up poor?

                  My grandpa lived through the depression and he had this mindset about food. Things got awkward between us when my eighth grade science teacher dropped the knowledge bomb that mold on the outside = mold spores through all of it. Gross.

                  I feel bad about letting food spoil, but not the extent that I’d force myself to eat spoiled food.

          3. Chaordic One*

            We had a situation where, after a week of emails, our receptionist cleaned out the refrigerator and threw away a whole bunch of dirty dishes and one of the department supervisors threw a fit because she threw away “a wedding present.”

            It turned out that our janitor had done some dumpster diving, found the container, cleaned it out and took it home for himself. After he figured out that it was what the department head was having a cow about, the janitor brought it back for him. But the department head was a jerk.

          1. Rachel*

            Oh my god, I was thinking about quoting that myself! :D You beat me to it, ya smeghead ;)

      4. JanetM*

        Conversely, I once worked at a company that required we leave (fake) papers and diskettes on empty desks so it would look as though there were more staff.

    7. Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way!*

      I just wish we could make adjustments to our signatures because all of our signatures have our closing in German (I work for a company based in Europe) and highlights trade shows in Europe only, yet we are the US subsidiary based in TX!

    8. Catalyst*

      I actually prefer the standard email signatures, it makes it so much easier when you start a a new company. Here is your format, change the name/title/phone and keep moving.

    9. Anon today...and tomorrow*

      My mom loves messing with her font style and color. She had been using this awful blue color in some kind of script font. I couldn’t read anything she sent me, but I’m not her boss and she takes offense at anything I say that might criticize how she works so I keep my mouth shut. Last year she got a new boss who is about my age. New Boss tells the office which font and color all email exchanges should be in. My mom complained to me for weeks. I tell my mom that I agree with her boss, that the font should be standard and that her color/font choice made her email difficult to read. She stopped speaking to me for weeks too.

      Last month the boss made mention of the way my mother writes an email. She tries desperately to sound professional so she refuses to use contractions, she throws out these words that are never used or spelled correctly, and she does this: Hello…how are you today?… The weather is really lovely…
      It drives me batty and I don’t work with her. Her boss has asked her to stop with the “…” , to use spellcheck, and to just focus on the simple message rather than what she thinks is professional. Her boss explained that you can be simple and professional as long as you’re polite. Mom is furious about this. This time I’m not telling her I agree with her boss, but I can tell you. :)

      1. textbookaquarian*

        Is your mother my coworker? LOL She also uses blue script font and has issues with writing emails. It drives me bonkers to see the spelling errors and “…” instead of a proper period at the end of every sentence.

        1. Elizabeth West*

          I can’t stand it when people use ellipses instead of periods. Or run-on sentences without any punctuation whatsoever I can barely tell where their blathering ends and the subject of the email begins it really annoys me even in facebook comments I find it hard to take anybody seriously who can’t even punctuate I mean we learned that shit in grade school

          1. Anon today...and tomorrow*

            It’s funny that you say this. I just got an email from someone at my son’s school and it was a giant run on sentence. It was also written primarily in lowercase. This was from one of the people who teaches my 10 year old son. I’m going to assume that she wrote it quickly on her phone and that was the reason for the errors. To think of it any other way would be too upsetting.

            1. PattS*

              Working in schools for over 20 years, I’ve seen horribly written emails by English instructors and basic math errors by math teachers. And, no, these were written on a PC.

            2. Julia*

              I once had to do business with a company that wrote everything in lower case. Like, they would go out of my way to edit everything I sent them into lower case only. Even my name. O_o

          3. Janice in Accounting*

            LOL But . . . how else am I supposed to put my personality on display . . .

          4. Turquoise Cow*

            And then if you point it out they throw a fit about how grammar shouldn’t matter.

            No, this is exactly why it does.

        2. AwkwardKaterpillar*

          Oh God the ellipses. There are several offenders in my department. I just want to respond, are you uncertain about something? Is this request you replied ‘ok…’ to really NOT ok? Is this stream of consciousness or an actual statement?

          1. Noobtastic*

            Yeah, I always interpret an ellipsis as a pause, either indicating that you are lost in thought or that you are talking to your imaginary friend.

            I use it in conversational writing, and quotations, when I mean to imply that the person’s voice trailed off, because they were lost and confused.

            To have that be at the end of every sentence would be maddening. The only excuse is a broken space bar.

      2. L Dub*

        Does your mom work in Minnesota? I have a co-worker that uses about a million ellipses per email.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          I post on a Facebook group with an older guy who does this. It drives me BANANAS. He’s not from MN tho.

        2. Natalie*

          Not sure about Anon’s mom, but I’m in Minnesota and my predecessor did the “…” thing all the time. She was also wildly inconsistent about the amount of dots that made each ellipses which drives me crazy. It’s a single piece of punctuation made out of 3 horizontal dots. It’s not however many damn periods you feel like typing. *table flip*

          1. Turquoise Cow*

            Yes! I’m more annoyed by the million dot ellipsis than a simple three dot one. After a while it starts to look like you’re speaking in Morse code.

    10. paul*

      I’ve got to admit, I dislike our standardized email signatures, mostly because they keep changing the approved fonts and colors so I have to go back and change it every couple of months. Minor annoyance but still…can’t we just frigging it leave it alone? it’s an email signature, 14 point font, black and…I can’t remember if we’re on Calibari or what now, but a normalish font

      1. SusanIvanova*

        Wow… can you get away with no signature? Anything anybody at work needs from me is already included in the header.

        1. paul*

          Nope, they’re required. It’s a minor irritation, so not worth fussing over. I just don’t get why they can’t let us stick with one dang signature.

    12. ArtK*

      I’ll confess… not to throwing a fit, mind you, but being annoyed at a signature policy.

      Our company has a standardized signature block. What I *didn’t* know is that they banned quotations. Our Chief Marketing Officer wrote me a stern note about the quotation I had. I just ignored him. While I could understand not wanting offensive things there, this is what is in my signature right now:

      “The life so short, the craft so long to learn”
      “By hammer and hand do all things stand”

      1. Melody Pond*

        Parliament of Fowls!

        I have to google the second one, I don’t know it offhand.

        1. ArtK*

          The first one is an English translation of a common Latin phrase: Ars longa, vita brevis. The second one is the motto of the Worshipful Company of Blacksmiths in London. Both of these appear on the wall at an Arts and Crafts (the movement, as in William Morris) themed restaurant.

          I should note that when we recently had a serious reduction-in-force, the CMO left. I’m still here.

          1. EE*

            I’m surprised to see that translation. I have always understood it to mean that a piece of art may outlive a person.

      2. Ann O. Nymous*

        I mean, I don’t think it sounds like you threw a fit, but it sounds like you were pretty obstinate about a reasonable request to not have quotes in your email signature. In all honestly, I think it looks unprofessional.

        1. Sprinkled with Snark*

          I agree with no quotes in signatures, especially if they have nothing to do with your company or your particular job. Ars longa, vita brevis is Latin for, “Art is long, Life is Short.” The Romans, of course, stole it from the Greeks, as they did everything else, and it was originally written by Hippocrates (the Greek physician) as the opening to a medical text. Hippocrates was talking about the “craft” of medicine will be around longer than the physician itself, then continues with what a physician must be prepared to do to make his patients cooperate with him. I see this quote all the time and people think it means that the fine arts will be here forever. The Worshipful Company of Blacksmiths, also known as Liverymen, are a blacksmith “union” that still accepts apprentices. So, if I received an email with both of those quotes in the signature, I would wonder , hmmm, doctor or blacksmith? Of course, quotes can mean anything to anybody, but it just goes to show you that words and mottos and so on can be very powerful, and have significant meaning to the people associated with them. That’s a good reason not to include them in an office signature when the office has nothing to do with what it is you are aligning yourself with.

    13. K.*

      Oh, people threw a fit at my old job when we standardized the signatures as part of a rebrand – and we made it so that people physically could not change them to anything other than the standard. We (marketing) got so much hate mail, it was crazy. The phrase “stifling creativity” came up a lot. This woman I was friendly with and who had used hideous lavender hard-to-read cursive font in her email signature asked me if there was any way an exception could be made for her and didn’t speak to me for a few weeks when I told her no. “Can you check with the VP?” “No need, I know what he’ll say. The answer is no.” [pouting, silence]

    14. Stranger than fiction*

      Oh boy, I’m currently pushing for this at work and will surely have similar responses. Some people’s signatures take up an entire 8.5×11 sheet of paper if you print one of their emails! Actually I think the record is 1 1/2 pages.

      1. Zahra*

        Now I want to add an Easter Egg to the standard “This is confidential information and you should destroy this email yadda yadda….” after-signature thing. I wonder how long it would be before someone noticed.

        1. aelle*

          An employee of my former client had the translation of “best regards” in 5 or 6 different (real) languages at the end of his signature… and then a line in Klingon that translated to “f*ck off”. I don’t know if anyone else ever noticed it.

    15. g*

      Yeah, they are trying to do that here. But the new signature is very hard to read, and has info it doesn’t need instead of what it does. It also looks really weird unless every single device used is configured in some odd way – but since everyone occasionally has to use something else, it’s bonkers.

    16. Manic Pixie HR Girl*

      Ahahahaha we did this a couple years ago – people were SO ANNOYED. I thought it was kind of ridiculous but not an overly big deal. After the transition I found it actually made a ton of sense. (And SO MANY PEOPLE still don’t comply, which is superbly annoying to me!)

    17. Tilly*

      The resistance to standard email signatures is mind boggling, like it’s your only place to express yourself and your personality? Maybe it’s my corp. comm. profession but it is such a big pet peeve of mine when people can’t use the template. When I worked at a hospital, the email signatures were really out of control – emojis, Bible quotes and this one doctor had lined pink notebook paper imported to be the backdrop of her email content and when you replied to her, it was impossible to delete. I know the medical field needs to be more friendly but seriously – how does a patient trust you with their chronic heart condition when your darn email signature looks like a Lisa Frank notebook? I could really rant about email signatures all day.

      1. Ann O. Nymous*

        I could rant all day about the number of emails I get from people in public service whose email signatures say things like “have a blessed day” or who say that to me on the phone.

      2. Sprinkled with Snark*

        It’s always the people who do nothing else “creative” in any aspect of their life who insist on really “artistic” emails, colors, and fonts, as if they are the present day Mary Cassat or Andrew Wyeth or somebody.

        “Why do you want to have a purple background with a yellow font and a paintbrush added to your signature when it’s impossible to read?”

        “Because I like purple and I need to show everybody that I am unique and I can express myself creatively.”

        Then they should by a scarf, or hang a poster in their cubicle and I might think they are more creative and unique than trying to read the email info in between crayon-sketched daisies pulled out of the photoshop folder.

      3. ..Kat..*

        I don’t care if you are a cardiologist. Stop dotting your letter ‘i’ with a heart!

    18. Adlib*

      I created a professional-looking signature at a previous job, and that prompted the whole company to mandate signatures. I’d say you should have seen the others, but it sounds like you have!

    19. Ann O. Nymous*

      We also changed our work email signatures to make them standard and it was INSANE how many people had opinions about the dumbest stuff (fonts/sizing/colors) – literally, who cares? And then we instituted it and one department head rearranged his signature and other one refused to remove her colored email background. I can’t imagine anything I care less about at work than what my email signature looks like, but this process at our office took MONTHS.

    20. Mike C.*

      BUT MY OUTLOOK TEMPLATE!!!!

      But seriously, as long as there isn’t a huge block of text come on.

    21. 2horseygirls*

      At Exjob, we rebranded and as of when I left 3 years later, the argument over standard email signatures was still going strong.

      It might just be my Catholic school/military family upbringing, but seriously?

      “This is the new standard email signature as of Wednesday, May 10, 2017.”

      Period. Full stop. Done. No discussion or debate.

    22. Antilles*

      I love company standard email signatures. Why? Because they always contain your full name, title, phone and address – also known as “stuff I might need at some point”. Whereas the non-standard ones usually are missing some of that information in favor of random quotes.

      1. Anonicat*

        I’ve been coordinating article submissions to scientific journals for our research group and how much do I love standardized signatures! They give me everything I need for the Author Affiliations part of the submission process – especially full institution names, spelled and punctuated as the institution requires. Because god forbid something is published as “University of Winterfell” when they are officially “The University of Winterfell”.

      2. Nic*

        There was a person I interacted with at another company when I worked for OldJob. We communicated through email primarily, but sometimes it was appropriate to give her a call. Turns out, they specifically kept that “stuff I might need” out of the signature. It took scanning through a month of emails to find one they sent that had the full formal sig rather than the abbreviated reply version.

        I <3 standardized signatures.

    23. MsMaryMary*

      One of my clients makes dog food, and all of their employees have pictures of their pets in their email signature. I’m pretty sure the company would cease to function if they could no longer share pictures of their furry friends.

      2. No Name Yet*

        A. Adorable, it would definitely make me look forward to their emails (esp people new to me).

        B. At least does actually make some sense for their corporate mission.

        C. What if someone doesn’t have a pet? I’m imagining either a weird form of discrimination (obviously not in a legal sense), and/or someone doing google image searches and changing their picture up every few months just for fun.

    24. Hlyssande*

      Hahah. We have standardized signatures (no fancy colors, specific format, etc), but I have made mine ever so slightly out of sync with the standard because the standard is in grayscale and small font and your name doesn’t stand out at all. I made my name bold and one size bigger.

      I just realized that I haven’t seen emails with hideous wallpaper backgrounds for months now. Maybe they put in a GPO to prevent people from having them when we migrated to O365.

    26. Lalaith*

      If only these people would realize they’re probably the reason *why* the signatures are getting standardized.

    27. E*

      We just recently had to do this, I didn’t mind except I liked having a short quote in my signature. Just a tiny bit of personality in my email signature was nice.

    28. Shelby Drink the Juice*

      I never understood the long and ridiculous email signatures. Most people here aren’t emailing anyone outside the company. So, I don’t need to see the company logo, or your email address (you emailed me, I have it!), or the company tag line or a photo of the major product we make. I know ALL that stuff. And why are you using funky colors? The most ridiculous I ever saw was an admin who under her pink script name was in different colors the corresponding wingding & info for phone, fax (???), email, snail mail.

      Mine is all Calibri, first line 11pt bold my name, followed by 10pt second line my job title (so when I contact you about product xyz you can see that I work in the business office of xyz and you need to reply, and third line my desk phone so if you want to call you don’t have to look it up.

  11. DecorativeCacti*

    I’m not sure if it counts, but here’s mine: We got a new copier at work and it made a slight squeak when making a large volume of copies. I got daily reports from one person that it was STILL SQUEAKING. She would be in my office every hour. There was literally nothing I could do and she knew that. The squeak was so slight that when I called out the repair guy, I couldn’t even tell him if it was doing it or not because I couldn’t hear it. Her complaining got so bad that we had to move the copier into a recently emptied office instead of giving it to an employee.

    1. Sadsack*

      Ok, I am the same way as that person, sensitive to strange sounds. It can be very distracting and difficult to overcome, but I try. I don’t blame her for wanting the distracting annoyance moved!

      1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        I do blame her for repeatedly complaining about the same situation.

        3. TL -*

          But she got the copier moved and I doubt it would have gotten moved otherwise, so…

          I’m firmly on the side of “should not have to deal with squeaks at work!” It’s bad enough that I have to walk through the cloud of stench by the bacteria bench; at least I know that is essential to someone’s work.

        4. TL -*

          Oh, the in the office every hour is too much but the daily emails I can understand. (depending on how fast your response was; if you were held up by other factors she knew about, that’s unreasonable.)

          1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

            I know on our heavily secured and firewalled network, moving a printer entails reassigning a network port, which requires forms in triplicate and so on.

            1. TL -*

              I can imagine that – but I also know how slowly it can take to get things done when half of that slow is, “Well, it’s just not a priority,” and very, very rarely, I choose to be the “handle with care high priority PITA”* because some things I just cannot tolerate. It’s surprising how much things can be expedited if people are sufficiently motivated.**

              *Very, very rarely. Normally I try to be very chill and understanding and reasonable about how I’m probably not the most important thing in other people’s lives.
              **99% of the time, if you’re nice and have proved yourself to be a rational person, they’ll expedite it for you if you ask, though.

      2. DecorativeCacti*

        I totally understand being sensitive to certain sounds, but she’s in a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation. There’s always something wrong either with the office or her health (she’s a major hypochondriac) and there was nothing I could do short of unplugging the machine and not allowing anyone to use it. We were working on a solution so continuing to complain didn’t do anything but make me want to leave it longer just to spite her.

      3. paul*

        I have our networked printer in my office.

        This is a *large* printer. It has 4 paper trays, the two largest of which can fit 4 reams each. It sounds like an airplane taking off.

        I’ve brought in a set of ear plugs and muffs for when people run big jobs.

          1. paul*

            nah, not really much odor.

            The hell of it is 99.999% of the time what we’re printing is pretty small–a few pages of client notes, forms for reimbursements, time sheets, w/e. But man when we gotta do a big print (say copies of large grants when an agency wants several copies-I’ve seen us burn 2-3 reams at a sitting) it is a royal PITA. But it’s so infrequent I mostly just deal with it ya know?

      4. AllTheFiles*

        This is why I’m so glad I have a door and boss usually works from home. I’m ADHD and distracted by other people talking, people walking by my door, noises of people walking down the hall, etc. She comes in and will leave the door open, complain about temp, open the mini-blinds on the window to the hallway, and walk in and out. Ugggggggh. She keeps feeling bad about working better at home and I’m like “do it!” we cannot share an office if you’re here all the time.

        1. Stone Satellite*

          Hahaha! I don’t know why but the thought of sharing an office, but only if the other person agrees not to use it, is pretty hilarious right now. I think I’ve been at work too long today.

    2. Merci Dee*

      Misophonia = hatred of sound

      Granted, people that suffer from misophonia don’t hate every single sound they hear, but they typically have one or two trigger sounds that give them problems — squeaks of this sort might have been hers. When a person with misophonia is exposed to their trigger sound, the fight-or-flight response is often activated. Some people try to get away from the sound, though others can become combative in an effort to stop the distracting noise. At this point, misophonia has not been listed as a condition in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but more and more scientists seem to be displaying an interest in studying those with the condition to find out why it affects some and not others. Most recent research seems to indicate that there’s a difference in the way the brain is wired for sound between those with and those without misophonia.

      And, yes, I suffer (greatly) with it. One of my biggest trigger sounds is someone who’s popping and snapping gum. A former co-worker sat in the cube next to mine, and would snap her gum all day. I used to have vivid fantasies of jumping over the bins and kicking every single one of her flipping teeth down her flipping throat so that she could never snap her flipping gum again. My physical responses to the sound were pretty pronounced (accelerated heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased respiration, occasional sweating, etc.), but that was mostly because I could neither fight nor take flight from the sound. I talked with her a couple of times to politely ask her to not chew her gum quite so loudly, but that only ever stopped it for five minutes at a time. Even earbuds wouldn’t drown out the sound. I almost cried in relief when I found out she was leaving for another job.

      1. BritCred*

        I have it as well and one of my triggers is my flatmates chair squeaking! Drives me insane and I can hear it through 2 or 3 closed doors!

      2. AllTheFiles*

        I became physically angered when people would walk down the hall near my old office. The thump sound coupled with the shaking of walls/floor with each step made me crazy.

        1. Trillian*

          I lived in a poorly soundproofed flat with neighbours who thump-thumped from 5 am on. I could feel my adrenal glands release at that first thump in the morning.

      3. Amy G. Golly*

        I’ve never heard this name for it before!

        I have a lot of sound sensitivity issues, likely related to my anxiety and OCD. There are days when I can largely ignore an annoying sound and get on with my life, and days where the continued vibration of a coworker’s phone on silent will drive me out of my tiny little mind! And yes, the physical symptoms – increased blood pressure, heart rate, body temp, etc – are very real. When I was a grocery cashier, I once became so disturbed by the loud blare of the emergency exit alarm (a customer tried to go through it) that I cursed in front of a customer. (Which may not sound bad, but I’m normally very in-control!) Fortunately, they did not seem to mind so much.

        Anyway, what I mean is: I sympathize with the lady who had to endure the squeaks! It’s likely she was enduring very real agony and frustration, even if no one else seemed bothered by it.

        1. Merci Dee*

          If it makes you feel any better, research also seems to indicate that those diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and OCD have a higher incidence of misophonia.

          My mother and I are counters, and my daughter tends toward hoarding. My mom and I will both almost kill someone who’s snapping gum like fireworks. But it doesn’t seem like this has started to affect my daughter yet. Though it may simply be a matter of time — what research has been conducted points toward misophonia developing between the ages of 9 and 13, and most predominantly in females. Also, the trigger sounds most often reported with the condition are sounds related to the mouth (slurping, smacking, swallowing, chewing, etc.).

          People, as a species, sure can be strange.

    3. Poster Child*

      Your response should have been “Oh you’re right, I do hear an annoying squeak. Every time you come into my office.”

    4. Paula, with Two Kids*

      Just thought I would point out that high pitch sounds disappear from your hearing range as you age. I know the last time my brakes needed work, my 17 year old let me know. The sound literally made her cringe and cover her ears, but I could hear nothing.

      Cringe inducing squeaks at work would completely destroy me. Better to work with the smell of rotting fish in the air than squeals.

      1. Julia*

        Yeah. I’m 28 and still have perfect hearing and the sounds my co-worker made and pretended not to notice…
        Granted, she had the TV on loud during work hours and stared at it instead of working, but even all the other sounds she made were awful. Like, put your personal phone on silent in a shared office?

  12. Jan Levinson*

    I work in an office with a warehouse that ships out 95% of our orders. However, we occasionally have customers, or people of the general public come into our office to pick up orders. We recently stopped accepting cash (credit card or check only) and my supervisor FLIPPED OUT. I’ve been at my company for almost 2 years, and have only done a handful of cash transactions ever. The change was for the safety of our employees, as one of our branches in another city had a customer comment on how they “had a cash box not locked up for anyone to steal.” The change had little to no effect on us, due to the low amount of both walk in customers, and specifically walk in customers that pay with cash, but my supervisor went on an on for WEEKS about what a “huge inconvenience” it would be for those who didn’t like to use credit cards or checks.

    *Side note: the majority of the cash transactions that I HAD done before, were from the same individual, who is notoriously known as being a huge creep to all the women in our office. If we were to lose anyone’s business due to our policy change, people would have been GLAD that it was the creeper’s business that we were losing!

    1. Sadsack*

      There was a clerk at my local drug store who complained a lot when they started using the new credit card chip reader. When I would take out my card and she’d see it had chip, she would sigh and roll her eyes, then impatiently scowl at the machine while waiting for the transaction to be approved. She complained about how much longer it takes to run the new chip cards. It takes about three seconds longer, at least that is what it feels like to me as the customer. When I said I’d rather it take a few seconds more if it means my info is safer, she scoffed and just restated that it takes sooo long now. I wonder if she complained too much because she wasn’t there anymore not long after that.

      1. Cucumberzucchini*

        Many of the new chip readers do take WAY longer, it’s definitely more then three seconds. Not that the Clerk should be complaining to a customer, but it’s a legitimate concern especially at busy stores with several customer-deep lines because it does add to noticeably to the check-out time.

        I’ve noticed different machines take different lengths of time. When they first started being used I was noticing everywhere hooooow muuuch looooonger they were taking then swiping and one day I went to American Eagle. It took no time at all with the chip reader, it was super fast and I was amazed. I mentioned it to the Clerk, but he wasn’t as impressed as I was. I continue to encounter various speeds of chip readers. And frankly I don’t think they’re that much more secure. The perpetrators of credit card fraud are industrious and will always find ways to thwart security measures: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/nov/15/credit-card-chip-technology-not-more-secure-than-m/

        1. Zombii*

          The chip itself is more secure than the mag strip because of how the information is encoded/encrypted, but the weakness in security is always at the point of sale, or the bank, or somewhere in that line (it’s like 5 different steps/systems from one to the other, including the credit card company which is not the bank). Very few cards have information stolen by someone using a handheld card scanner—it’s so much more efficient to get hundreds of thousands of cards’ information by hacking a system that stores the information instead of one by one.

          I seriously almost went off on a cashier at Costco because she was talking sh!t about chip cards so much, talking about how there were still data compromises and information was still being hacked, so obviously the chip didn’t do anything.

        2. Magenta Sky*

          Credit card pads are pricey, and chip card processing is far more processor intensive – the card info is encrypted on the pad. Ergo, if the store bought cheap pads (and even the cheap ones are a bit pricey), they’re very slow.

          Ours are actually *faster* than the old pads, because the old pads were of a cheaper sort than the new ones.

        3. Not So NewReader*

          Most of the chip readers around here are slower, noticeably slower. Most of the clerks are complaining. We will eventually have to get one at my job and we will have to have a dedicated line. The higher ups will have kittens over this expense and it could lead to the end of our ability to accept cards OR the end of our department. Fun stuff. not.

        4. Izacus*

          This is actually extremely wierd since it seems to be a US thing – I’ve also noticed when visiting that chip transactions take ages in comparison to the same ones here around EU O.o Did they mess up the protocol or something?

      2. Wild Feminist*

        Cashiers are often timed to the second for how quickly they can get a customer through their line. I can easily see how a cashier would be pissed at how a chip reader would add 3+ seconds per customer to their times (probably even more based on user error, where I live half the time they don’t work or are too confusing and require multiple attempts).

        1. paul*

          It’s been many years since I worked at WalMart but they used to track items/hour. Don’t knwo if they still do or not

          1. Nephredil*

            Yes, they do still track, but it’s not items/hour. It’s the number of items scanned divided by the length of the transaction. Most places require an 85% speed level minimum. If you go lower than that for a certain number of weeks, you go through retraining and probation. It can eventually lead to being fired. If you have a physical impairment you have to get a doctor’s note and include a speed in it, like “So and So needs to reduce her speed to 75% (or 65%, etc.) due to such and such physical problem.” Anything that made it take longer to hit that cash out button was counted, including setting up paper or reusable bags, calling for a price check, etc. The timer started when the first item was scanned and didn’t stop until the transaction was over and the receipt was printed.

        2. Aurion*

          How often do they use those metrics though? I cashed years ago at a grocery store and I was told verbally that despite being new I had one of the fastest times on the floor. However, I didn’t get exceptional praise for my time/accuracy nor did I hear about slower coworkers being penalized for being slower.

          2. RKB*

            We got gift cards for being in top five and we got “talked to” (read: nagged) about being in the bottom five. This was about two years ago. Whenever I shop there I still see the little supervisor station where the numbers are posted so looks like it’s still happening.

        3. GeekyDesigner*

          Eh it is what is is. I honestly think cashiers have it easy now. Back in the day I worked in a decent-sized convenience store that didn’t have an item scanner even though they were quite common at the time. People were always amazed that I would have them completely rung up before they made it to the counter. I knew the price of every item in the store off the top of my head. Of course, I always offered to let the costumer review the transaction to make sure I wasn’t ringing up items they didn’t buy.

          1. Not So NewReader*

            With the ease has come a group of more things they track you on. It’s to the point that it is almost impossible to figure out which 20 things they are tracking you on this week. Yes, it changes every week. So what happens next is no matter how hard you try you have always failed on at least one of the 20 weekly things. This means constant reprimands and constant threats of write ups.

            I remember one place, I caught the register just deleting a sale. Gone! I called tech. They LAUGHED, told me that ALWAYS happens and then did nothing. Meanwhile people are getting written up for shortages and no one can prove that they did not cause the shortage. My friend got caught in this mess. She got fired. She went down to unemployment and they said “Oh, you were fired for stealing. How can ONE company hire so many thieves?” She got her unemployment.

            I ended up calling tech two more times with the same problem of sales disappearing and got the same laughter. I reported it to my boss then my boss’ boss. As far as I know, STILL nothing happened.

      3. lowercase holly*

        yes, i encountered a lot of the chip complaints from cashiers when they first rolled out. which makes me wonder if there was a huge problem at the very first. because they seem fine now?

      4. Collarbone High*

        Hijacking your comment to vent: can the US get its act together on chip readers already? I’m especially annoyed with places that *have* chip readers and aren’t using them, because a) security and b) half the time there’s no indication until I’ve stood there with my card in the reader for 90 seconds and then the cashier says oh, that doesn’t work.

        1. Turquoise Cow*

          Agreed. Also, my husband likes to use his phone to pay with Apple Pay and gets annoyed when it’s a device that *should* be capable of reading it, but doesn’t.

          I’ve gotten into the habit of asking, especially if it’s a place I’ve not been before, “do I insert?”

        2. Noah*

          Why do you care? The chip readers protect the credit card companies. You’re fine either way.

        3. Not So NewReader*

          The company we use is making everyone get a dedicated line just for the credit card machine. In my field not every office can afford another phone line. In some cases telling TPTB will involve yelling. So, yeah. Some places are going to be awhile before they change or they may simply decide to fold.

        4. nonegiven*

          My local grocery store taped paper over the slots.

          I just used one for the first time, Tuesday. The only card I had with a chip until recently was an HSA card that hardly ever gets used at POS, when it does they aren’t equipped to read the chip. My bank finally sent me a chip card for my checking account and I used it at the Mart of Walls the other day.

      5. Noah*

        Even if the chip reader takes a bit longer, it avoids the situations where the magnetic strip can’t be read. On balance, I bet it saves time!

        1. Not So NewReader*

          The magnetic strips have gotten better. The few that do not scan can be covered in tissue paper (like used in food handling) then they will scan.

      6. Zahra*

        Wow. Does she not remember the days of paper credit card slips and how you had to call over a certain amount to get the confirmation number? And even after we moved to machines, you could enter the number manually (when the magnetic strip was not readable) and then do the paper slip, call the credit card company for the number, etc?

        I think she will be ecstatic when the US moves to the “tap your card on the machine” system (similar to how you can use your phone to pay).

        1. Sprinkled with Snark*

          I used to work for a well-known chain department store part time in college, and yes, I remember those days! We even had those ridiculous hand-operated machines you’d have to slide across with all your might to get a half-faded unreadable receipt. I would frequently have to call banks, call credit card companies, and then spend close to an hour sorting piles of white, blue carbon and yellow receipts, clipping everything with little paper clips and attaching things to cash register receipts in separate leather bank bags, and then, a week later, the store manger would tell you that your drawer was off by 3 cents, so what happened? Or “Two weeks ago you gave a customer a 15 percent discount on the Sag Harbor sweater, but the Sag Harbor sweater was only discounted at 10 percent, not the 15 percent that the Stone Harbor sweaters were discounted at. Can you explained what happened here?” And I would say, “I don’t know. Isn’t that all automatic in the register anyway? I can’t give customers discounts willy nilly.” Well, don’t let it happen again, he’d say with a stern look.

          After my recent check-out experience at Target last weekend, CLEARLY skills like accuracy, customer service, and even basic competency are no longer required to work as a cashier who handles money throughout the course of a shift.

        2. Marillenbaum*

          When I was studying abroad (2010), I went to a vintage shop in Prague with my roommate. She ended up buying several items, and paid with a credit card. The woman who owned the shop had to carbon copy the card, call the number, etc. to process the payment! It was insane, and the only time I’ve ever seen it happen.

          1. JanetM*

            Several months ago, the salon where I get my nails done lost their internet connection for a day (I think nearby construction cut a line, or something). I was impressed that they still had the manual embossing machine and could run my card that way.

    2. Dinosaur*

      People who flip out over changes regarding cash security procedures always make me wonder if they’re stealing from the till. It’s probably not fair but it’s a bit of a red flag for me.

      2. Ama*

        There’s also a certain type of person who would see changes like this as an implication that they *might* steal and get offended for that reason. I did not go through this with cash, but I once oversaw a workplace kitchen and implemented a rule that non-kitchen staff could not enter to make food safety procedures easier — and you’d have thought I had sent around an email singling out certain coworkers as Typhoid Marys.

      3. JB (not in Houston)*

        I can see why you think that, but there are also people like me who would worry about excluding customers who do not have bank accounts or credit cards. I wouldn’t flip out about it, but I would push back a little, albeit professionally.

        1. MegaMoose, Esq*

          I thought of that too, but Jan did say they only had a handful of cash transactions over two years, so I’m guessing that they’re not serving a community where that’s an issue.

      4. Not So NewReader*

        It depends on the situation.

        I have had cash outs with deposits well over $10k. The money was always right.

        Where I have seen problems is when management clearly distrusts everyone and mentions that often. That, combined with constant procedure changes that leave people confused and unsure what the current procedure is. Yes, people get antsy because they fear false accusations.

        In this case here, it could be that the employee over estimated how many cash customers there actually were. It’s very easy for front line people to over estimate these things since they do not see the reports that show general trends. I wonder if management showed the employee the longer term trends. People tend to calm down when informed of the bigger picture.

  13. Librarian in waiting*

    When I started as a page at the public library, one of the perks was getting to listen to headphones while shelving. The culture at the library shifted where even the pages were expected to interact with the patrons, and the headphones had to go. Half of the pages were OUTRAGED! OUTRAGED! that the headphones were going. Several quit immediately in response. Some just made rude and snarky comments any time the supervisor talked. One man (40ish) threw his headphones at the wall and said “have a nice life!” before walking out on his shift.

    I enjoyed listening to music/podcasts too, but seriously? It was a tense couple of months and “headphone-gate” still gets brought up occasionally.

    1. Turtlewings*

      Honestly, I would consider that a serious quality-of-life loss. Shelving is absolutely mind-numbing. If I wasn’t allowed to have headphones during my most tedious and boring tasks, I’d — well, I wouldn’t throw anything at a wall, but there would be wailing and gnashing of teeth!

      1. Allison*

        Yeah, I would totally understand where they were coming from, but I wouldn’t be happy about that change at all.

      2. Librarian in waiting*

        Yeah, totally. I hate shelving and was so happy to move on after 5 years. But if that was really a deal breaker for me I would quietly tell my supervisor I was quitting and why. I wouldn’t throw literal tantrums in front of my coworkers and supervisors because of a policy change. TPTB did give pages additional tasks so that their days were more broken up and didn’t spend 4-5 hours shelving. A raise might have helped soften the blow :)

      3. Junior Dev*

        Yep. I had a job at a cafeteria and when they declared we could no longer have headphones in for out cleanup at the end of the night, it made my job much less pleasant.

      4. Kate H*

        I work a job that’s 90% being crouched over a desk checking things. If I come in early to catch up, I’m allowed to use headphones until we officially open. The moment when I have to turn the music off is always a sad one.

      5. Bwmn*

        I agree with this. I also have to say that the majority of my shelving/library experience was through work-study in undergrad. A career working in the library was never part of my thinking and the appealing part of the job (aside form getting paid) was being able to zone out with headphones – so I have to imagine that why people had that job was a large part of why the headphones would or would not be a big deal.

        Now if someone quit because one day a manager forgot doughnut Friday or they were losing an inch of their cubicle space….that would shock me. Through headphones against the wall is definitely a tantrum, but I do understand the overall negative reaction.

      6. madge*

        Same here.

        “One man (40ish) threw his headphones at the wall and said “have a nice life!” before walking out on his shift.”
        I just laughed so hard at that visual. #goals

      7. BenAdminGeek*

        I loved shelving- it’s just you against the world, trying desperately to restore order in a mad dash against the uncivilized hordes who apparently think that 398.2 and 741.5 are the same thing and stuff books every which way.

        2. Kirsten*

          Agreed! And it was always exciting to find another book to add to the ever-growing reading list.

          Even a decade after my college library job days, I still always reshelve any book I use while at the library.

          1. Ev*

            Okay, I’m sorry, I’m going to be this person.

            Please, *please* don’t do that.

            I’m sure you know exactly where that book goes. I’m sure you are an intelligent and conscientious library patron who is fully capable of reading and understanding call numbers. I do not wish to cast aspersions on you in any way. However:

            a) For every library patron who does indeed know how to shelve, there are a hundred who don’t and who are going to assume that they do and put their Clive Cussler novels back on the shelf in the nonfiction section and we are never going to find them again. Please don’t encourage them.

            b) Lots of libraries keep track of the books that are used in house and not checked out and add them to their usage numbers. Those numbers are what keep your library alive and get it funded. If you reshelve the book, we don’t know you used it.

            Probably, there is a designated spot your library staff would like you to put the book after you used it. Please help them out by doing so.

          2. Beaded Librarian*

            Please don’t do that! :) At my library at least we in house books that are used by patrons and this can be very helpful for figuring out what IS being used even if it nev makes it out of the library. I appreciate your being helpful but it can mess up circulation statistics.

            1. Lusca*

              I had no idea this was a thing, thank you both for sharing your librarian expertise! I don’t read in libraries much anymore (usually reserve online ahead of time) but if I do, I will NOT reshelve :)

              1. Lusca*

                To clarify, I will look for the designated in-house return place, rather than accidentally walking a novel into the nonfiction section.

    2. alter_ego*

      I certainly wouldn’t throw anything, or quit immediately. But if my job banned headphones, I would quietly and immediately start looking for a new job. That would be a *huge* quality of life thing for me. I can barely focus in my busy open office area as it is. removing the noise barrier would destroy my productivity.

      1. TL -*

        Yup. My last lab selectively banned headphones – somehow it was safe for the grad students to wear them but not for anyone else – and while it lasted it was pretty awful. And I was less willing to do long hours of mind-numbing work so I’m pretty sure I was less productive. Plus, some people just ended up blasting music out of their computer.

        1. BananaPants*

          Our previous EH&S manager said we couldn’t use headphones in our materials characterization lab. The then-manager of the lab bought a set of speakers and use of them was first come, first served. Many, many times our metallurgist got there first and the rest of us were subjected to his…eclectic musical tastes.

          He sang along to most of it, and I could have gone an entire career without hearing him belt out “The Pina Colada Song” and “Hold The Line”.

      3. MegaMoose, Esq*

        Open office with zero client interaction here, and same. I don’t use headphones terribly often myself as I do quality control and don’t want to seem unavailable if people have questions, but I bet a number of people would quit if a rule like this came down.

        1. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

          I would straight-up quit if I couldn’t do doc review with headphones!

          1. MegaMoose, Esq*

            For real, right? When I started doing this my husband (who works for a large firm and got his license several years before me) used to tease me about how he did all his doc review on the couch watching movies.

            1. Marillenbaum*

              When I worked in college admissions, we read paper applications. As in, 14,000 students would apply electronically. We would then PRINT OUT the entire application, and spend weeks organizing them, shelving them, etc. When I worked from home, I would read files while watching “Midsomer Murders” on Netflix. It was a good way to pace myself, because a 90-minute episode should get me through 15 files. Still, any time I mentioned our system to colleagues at other institutions, they were HORRIFIED.

      4. Amy G. Golly*

        This is a different situation, though. In a public library, pages are on the floor shelving items amidst patrons who are using the library. Your average person doesn’t know the difference between different roles in the library, so even if the pages aren’t expected to answer certain types of questions (rather direct them to Reference or Circulation), people are still going to ask them; not to mention how many times they’ll be asked where the bathroom is, whether there’s a drinking fountain, and am I going in the right direction to find Conference Room A? It creates an unfriendly environment when you walk up to an employee to ask them a question and are either ignored or asked to repeat yourself because you didn’t realize they had earbuds in and couldn’t hear you.

        So yeah, I can understand being upset if that was a part of the job, and now it’s going away. It’s a nice perk, but frankly, I’m amazed they were allowed them to begin with!

      5. oranges & lemons*

        Yeah, I’m an editor and my desk is located between a conference room and the office kitchen with no barriers. I don’t know how I would do anything without them.

      6. Nic*

        My general solution is one earbud in, or one headphone ear-cover part behind the ear. That way I can hear others and my music or book.

        I have gone out to buy a new pair when I realized I forgot mine in the past. Work is MISERABLE without some background noise.

    3. Adam*

      I worked as a student librarian while in college (one of my favorite jobs) and headphones were a godsend during shelving and other such mundane tasks. I’d be upset if they were banned, but I’d get over it. It might have been a problem for my boss though as headphones helped me from being distracted and leafing through all the books before I shelved them…

    4. Paper Librarian*

      My first paging job did not permit headphones in the stacks, and that’s how I shelved for over a year. It was indeed mind numbing. But now that I am in a managerial position, I fight to keep headphones permitted. And I only occasionally do the “when I was your age” grumbling.

    5. Hunger Games Summer*

      I worked as a library page in high school (many moons ago) and we were not allowed to have headphones while we shelved either then. At the same time though we were not allowed to interact with patrons – it was really awkward. If someone asked me a question all I could do was point them to the desk and let them know the staff were here to help.

    6. Kama'aina Kitty*

      I worked as a public librarian where we had student workers do the shelving. One evening, a patron came up to the reference desk and was visibly angry. He didn’t say what was wrong, just that he knew we knew and we should quit trying to play dumb. We finally figured out that he had seen one of the student workers wearing headsets while shelving. He was livid, accused us of stealing the public’s money, shirking our responsibilities, etc. So, while I agree that listening to music seems like a small kindness that should be offered to those doing a mind-numbing, low-paying but very necessary job, some people might see headsets and interpret it as doing a half-@ssed job.

      1. Megan*

        That doesn’t strike me as a reasonable thing to accommodate from patrons, though. If he had a legit complaint about quality of something, maybe, but if everything’s being provided for there’s no reason to wipe his butt.

    7. Chaordic One*

      At our library they instituted a policy where even the people who worked in the back offices now had to do some time at the front desk. I kind of understand the thinking, but I really felt bad for some of the people because it wasn’t what the signed on for when they were first hired and a lot of them were not really very good at it. (Think Doc Marten people skills.)

      A couple of people ended up being fired and I kind of suspect that the idea might have been to get rid of a couple of long-time employees and then to replace them with lower-cost new ones.

  14. all aboard the anon train*

    At my last company, they used to get cookies once a month from a well-known bakery in my city. People used to stampede down the halls when it was cookie time and grab handfuls or platefuls instead of taking one. Eventually it got to the point that if you got to the cookie location 10 or 15 minutes after they were put down, there were none left. An email was sent out reminding people to take only one cookie so their coworkers could also have some, and that they were welcome to take additional cookies at the end of the day only if there were any leftover.

    There was such a protest. Some people were SO INSULTED that they couldn’t take more than one cookie (and honestly, I can understand maybe taking two, but these repeat offenders were talking between 6 – 12 each – legit strutting away with plates piled high). They complained so much about being denied more than one cookie that cookie day ended up stopping permanently. It was honestly bizarre. Grown adults throwing tantrums over being denied more than one cookie (and they were big cookies, too).

    This was also the same place that had people protest when the type of disposable plastic silverware and paper plates were changed in the cafeteria. Apparent reasoning was that “they didn’t like major changes”.

    2. Nea*

      We had something similar with coffee at one office. The office provided free coffee and had two pots going: caf and decaf.

      Someone on the team liked their coffee double-strong. So they’d *pour out* the regular coffee, make a double-strong pot, and leave it on the burner. Then someone who didn’t like such strong coffee would come in, realize what had happened, *pour out* the double strong coffee and make a regular pot. Double strong would come back for another cup and…

      Lather, rinse, repeat at least 3x per day, to the point that most of the department’s free coffee was going straight down the drain. Warnings didn’t stop it, trying to add a third pot of double-strong didn’t stop it, so that was the end of the free beverages.

        1. ancolie*

          He could be self-medicating if he has ADHD*. Caffeine can actually have a calming effect on ADHD brains, helping them to settle down and focus. It does that for me.

          * it’s all ADHD now, separated into types, instead of ADD and ADHD.

      3. Elizabeth West*

        Somebody at Exjob posted a sign about a similar issue–I saw it on my first day. It was something like, “Please label the pot when you make it double strength so those of us who don’t like to eat our coffee know which one is which.”

      4. SusanIvanova*

        We had one VP (very small company, so basically high-level manager) who thought full-strength coffee would make everyone too wired, so he’d make half-caf in the caf pot.

        Shortly after that our town got its first Starbucks (first coffee shop of any type, yay suburbs) and my team started having a rotating afternoon coffee run.

      6. KatiePie*

        Why on God’s green earth would you pour out double strength coffee? Why not just add hot water to you cup? For that matter, why not always brew double strength and the weak-coffee-drinkers can add their water as needed? I never understood that. You can always weaken coffee once it’s brewed, but you can’t strengthen it.

    3. Turquoise Cow*

      Beware of giving out free food. Or anything free, for that matter. People become seriously crazy about it.

      1. all aboard the anon train*

        Seriously. That same company used to get lunches catered all the time for meetings, and would leave the leftovers in the kitchens. People kept tupperware in their desks just so they could take it home. One guy grabbed a huge pan of lasagna and kept it as his desk so no one else could have any.

        When the company started getting into financial trouble, they stopped getting so much catering and people revolted over not getting leftovers. Which was weird to me because it’s not like the food was advertised as a perk or promised as part of the job during interviews. It was a weird thing to expect.

        1. Chocolate Teapot*

          I’ve had the coworkers with plastic boxes and tinfoil as well. Somebody complained when there were no leftovers after a meeting, since the receptionist (who was in charge of ordering catering) always ordered slightly less to stop food going to waste.

        2. ReneeB*

          I used to help set up and break down the catering for executive meetings at OldJob.

          I would take whatever didn’t get eaten to the public kitchen afterwards.

          When the executive admins started getting more involved in catering set up and break down, suddenly food was embargoed. They’d carefully wheel it all back to the executive offices, which had passcode doors the plebes couldn’t get through. The executives would ignore it there in the executive offices for the rest of the day, just like they’d ignored it in the executive meetings. Where it would get cold and go bad. And where the cleaning crew had to come in and throw it away at the end of the night.

          As compared to the public kitchen where the food would all be eaten in a matter of an hour, would not go to waste, and where people threw out the pans that were empty and generally picked up after themselves once everything was gone. They were respectful and appreciative.

          The general population started asking me about why they weren’t getting the executive leftovers anymore, and I just had to shrug, because I didn’t want to throw the executive admins under the bus.

          But seriously. The Powers That Be had ignored or picked at the food for two and a half hours already. It wasn’t coming out of these ladies’ personal pocket money. None of them, or me, had any budgeting oversight responsibilities. We were expected to obtain appropriately impressive and edible catering. But god forbid if the general population got to eat it afterward, rather than it being literally thrown in the trash.

          1. Hlyssande*

            Leftovers in our office all go to the break room afterwards on a first come first serve basis. People are pretty good at cleaning up after themselves too, and it’s great.

            Sometimes it’s really great lunch stuff, sometimes pastries, there was cake this morning (I missed it, but that’s okay). Sometimes weird pasta salads, but it doesn’t go to waste. And they don’t let it sit all day either, just for an hour or two, and then it goes into the fridge to come out the next day if perishable.

    5. NotTheSecretary*

      When I worked at in the office of a warehouse, we would get a freezer full of ice cream bars in the summer. It actually had to be addressed that workers MUST STOP taking entire boxes home with them. One coworker took such offense to this that he would made it his mission to eat as much ice cream as possible while on site. I watched him eat seven of them during a thirty minute lunch break. He would proudly boast about how he’d make himself sick on free food just to make sure he got his “fair share”.

      Ooof.

      1. The Rat-Catcher*

        Vaguely reminds me of the Hunger Games: Catching Fire scene when Katniss and Peeta go to that banquet and find out that the people in the Capitol take pills to throw up their food so they can eat more.

      2. Lissa*

        I just….why??? I don’t get this at all! I’d be so tempted to say “uh, do you see anyone else taking seven of these? is your “fair share” higher than everyone else’s?” or something else snarky. This type of “make yourself sick to make a point” thing is just…so odd to me.

        1. NotTheSecretary*

          He was an odd one in a lot of ways. I chalked a lot of his behavior up to how young he was (just 19) but he was the type that always had a “one up” story to anything you said, always had advice for anything you did, and thought himself to be an expert on most things. Most of us just nodded along and quietly rolled our eyes when he left.

        2. AMT*

          Reminds me of a David Sedaris story in which he tried to eat all of his Halloween candy at once, even candy that he was allergic to, so that he wouldn’t have to give any to the neighbor kids.

          1. Hlyssande*

            Well, that I can understand. Toss the stuff you’re allergic to, but being forced to give it away to the neighbor kids? Oh heck no. I used to store mine in a drawer and slooowly eat it over the next few months. I’d still have laffy taffys come Easter. If my parents had made me give away whatever I hadn’t eaten a few days later, you better believe that I’d gorge on it all.

        3. Zombii*

          Re: “Make yourself sick to make a point.”

          At Toxic ExJob (call center) one of the managers suggested to newbies that they should each buy a bag of jelly beans and eat a handful every time they ended a call that was over their call time goal. Because that’s how she’d gotten her call time down when she was on the phones. By making herself physically ill eating too much sugar for not meeting site goals. As self-punishment for not performing like a model employee. Wtf.

      3. Drew*

        I had a former coworker who considered any office treats to be his personal food stash – taking half a pizza when we ordered pizza, stacking half a dozen donuts on a plate to take back to his desk because he might want them in the afternoon, etc.

        We got a new “take no shit” office manager at one point, and when she saw this guy do that, she walked over to his desk, gave him her best fake smile, said “oh, no, honey, these are for everyone to share,” and took the plate right back to the kitchen.

        He didn’t understand why the rest of us weren’t sympathetic to his “mistreatment.” And that’s only one reason he is a FORMER coworker and she is now senior management.

        1. Nic*

          I had a coworker who thought any treats were just for him. If breakfast tacos were ordered for my department, we’d usually offer other departments nearby any leftovers. If he hadn’t already, as soon as he heard that leftovers were being offered he’d go through and get *all* of the ones he wanted (example, all the brisket) and hide them in his desk drawer before the other department could get any. He’d also get in line first or near-first (he volunteered to help with setup), and would take massive amounts of what was there. If some folks didn’t get firsts while he was loading up his second, he’d say folks should have gotten there faster.
          Management did talk to him, but his answer was that he didn’t care.

    6. Stranger than fiction*

      I just wonder where people get their manners from sometimes (or lack of).

    8. textbookaquarian*

      We ran into the same issue with free snacks. Every afternoon three large containers would be placed in the break areas on each floor. People started treating it like free lunch and would take half a container for themselves. So snacks are now passed out in the cafeteria under the watchful eye of the staff which of course they take crap for. One server told us about a guy who showed up 15 minutes early expecting to take what he wanted. After being told to wait, he loudly complained to everyone else that walked up in an effort to shame her into caving. She wanted to cry he was making such a scene. She kept her cool though and reported him to security later.

    9. AwkwardKaterpillar*

      I do not understand this inability of grown adults to understand the concept of sharing. When someone brings in a treat here there are a couple people that will take extras right off the bat, for their kids/spouse/etc.

      If there are leftovers, ok, but give everyone the opportunity to have some first. I didn’t make cupcakes so you could take 5 home to your family and leave the people they were meant for without any.

      1. all aboard the anon train*

        Right? Part of me doesn’t even understand why they need to take extra to bring home, and why they do it before anyone else can even have a piece. I’ve definitely taken some leftovers from work home for dinner at night, but I usually take it at the end of the day and not five minutes after it’s put in the kitchen.

        People get really weird about free food. I remember the time I put out some unopened bags of Halloween candy and opened them so people knew they were to share, and then saw someone take the whole bag with them instead of a piece or two.

        1. Gadget Hackwrench*

          Everywhere I’ve ever worked leftovers have either a) stayed in the office fridge and were grazed upon by staff until gone or b) were sent home with student workers/interns on the grounds that college kids need food more than adults with full time jobs. Usually (a) happens in places with no interns, like here.

      2. Krista*

        It’s so bizarre. My spouse actually is the opposite way–he’s so determined to let people at his work eat the treats that recently when he brought his coworkers (my favorite!) cupcakes, a dozen cupcakes for about 8 colleagues, he not only didn’t eat one himself but didn’t bring me a leftover one because he would rather offer the extras to the staff who work tangentially to his office. He’s really nice but I just love those cupcakes so much.

    10. Trotwood*

      A friend of mine works for a large tech company that still acts like a startup. They have free beer in their office, limited to something like two glasses per day. They must keep the keg (yes, the keg) on one of those portable taps, and they had to send a communication that people needed to leave the keg in the common area and they had to stop rolling it to their desks. People were outraged. The stories I hear from that place…

    12. CAS*

      I worked at an office that offered free catered lunches on Mondays. This was even listed as a company benefit. I have never seen such entitled people in my life as those at this office. I think they were worse than locusts. Heaven forbid if you arrived in the break room 15 minutes after the announcement that lunch was served. You might find leftover sauce or gravy. Once I came back from a meeting 10 minutes after the announcement, and there literally was nothing edible left. I learned later from the admin. assistant that some of the staff would make up multiple plates so they could take food home for their families. Free catered lunch =/= free dinner for one’s family. But that’s what they did. HR was basing the catering orders on how much food was consumed, and they were buying more and more food. Upper management was annoyed by how much was being spent on the lunches, but nothing was ever said about people who were taking more than their share.

      Predictably, the company had financial problems (sigh) and a bunch of us were laid off. After that, I heard from the admin. assistant that the Monday lunches were eliminated. Despite the fact that real people actually lost their jobs, some entitled knuckleheads over there were complaining that they didn’t get their free lunches anymore. Those poor, employed souls forced to pay for their own food …

      1. Sara*

        Around the holidays, several of our vendors order lunches for the staff as a thank you – usually pizza. I’ve seen people walk away with a whole goddamn box of pizza before half of the staff got through the line. When she got called out on it, she said she was just taking it home for her kids. Ridiculous.

        1. CAS*

          Ugh! I ‘m glad she was called out. I do not understand how “free office lunch” equates in some people’s minds with “dinner for my family.” It wouldn’t bother me if the food were out long enough that it would appear everyone was served. But to go in and basically serve one’s family before all the staff are served? No. Just no.

          1. Noobtastic*

            I’d be so tempted to say, LOUDLY, “Oh, no! I had no idea you were so poor that you can’t afford to feed your own children! EVERYBODY! SALLY CAN’T AFFORD TO BUY DINNER FOR HER CHILDREN! WE NEED TO PASS THE HAT AROUND AND RAISE FUNDS TO FEED HER FAMILY!”

            Bonus points if she’s upper-level management.

    13. E*

      Coffee related: Higher-ups in another office location had been each charging their own preferred kcup coffee refills to their company cards. It was decided that the company would provide a reusable kcup and one brand of regular coffee. Anything more they would need to provide on their own dime. Oh, and the cases of bottled water stopped too, because they had at least 3 options in their office for drinking water. Granted, this was a policy change due to the monthly overspending at the company’s expense but I’d have thought it would be common sense to not have 4 different people all buying coffee and cases of bottled water on their company cards each month.

  15. PB*

    At my last job, we had a volunteer from another department who helped out when she could. This amounted to three hours per week, tops, and she wouldn’t come over for weeks at a time when she got busy. Despite this, she felt she had a stake in our office layout. We had a random chair in a corner, which we decided to surplus, because who’d sit in a corner behind a door?

    She freaked out. She couldn’t figure out where to put her purse and jacket without this chair. When we explained that we put ours on the floor, she looked at us like we were crazy. My boss had to get a special chair, just for her to put her purse on.

    When we got all new furniture and her workstation moved across the hall, you’d think the world had ended.

    1. all aboard the anon train*

      I’ve known a surprising amount of people who get weird about putting their purses on the floor. In my experience, they’re usually the type of people who put their purse on an empty subway seat and won’t even move it during rush hour or when someone needs a seat (and I dislike them for it so much).

      I don’t really get it. Even the expensive purses I’ve owned have gone on the floor because I’m not going to be rude and take an empty chair someone might need.

      1. Hermione*

        Ugh that drives me crazy. If you don’t want it on the floor, stand up with it on your shoulder, or bring a cheap tote bag to put it in and then put it on the floor, or, and crazy as this may be, PUT IT ON YOUR LAP.

        I’m hyper-aware of my surroundings and not inconveniencing others and this stuff seriously makes me loony.

        1. Cath in Canada*

          Same! I once asked a woman who’d given her purse its own seat on the bus if she could please move it so I could sit down (I was carrying a very heavy casserole dish full of food for a potluck), and you’d have thought I’d asked if I could sit in her lap. She eventually moved her bag, but then when a seat opened up behind us a few stops later she said “you need to move to that seat now”. I didn’t feel like fighting so I rolled my eyes and did it, and she put her bag back on its own seat and then wouldn’t move it at all for the next person who asked.

          See also: people who put their wet umbrella on the empty bus seat next to them so people who get on later as the bus fills up have to either sit in the wet spot or stand up; people who sit in the aisle seat when there’s an empty window seat next to them and won’t get up so you have to squeeze past them. I can kinda understand the latter if you’re going to get off at the next stop or something, but that rarely seems to be the case.

      2. You're Not My Supervisor*

        This may actually be a cultural thing. Something about purses on the floor meaning bad luck with money? I can’t remember exactly where I got this notion, but I believe a friend who was from Morocco told me something to that effect.

        1. TL -*

          The people that I know are white and American. And it’s a germ thing (but it’s not rational or correct. Your purse isn’t going to give you a disease from setting it on the subway floor.)

          2. Liz T*

            I knew a black Texan woman who told me it was bad luck to put your purse on the floor.

            1. Rebecca in Dallas*

              Yes, I’m from Texas. “Purse on the floor, money out the door.” I still put mine on the floor under my desk, maybe that’s my problem.

              1. Anonymous 40*

                Weird. I’m from the D/FW area and have never heard that. Of course the areas bigger and more populous than some countries, so I guess that’s not surprising.

            2. TL -*

              Interestingly, I’m from the Texas/Mexico border and I’ve never heard this! My friends who complain about this are American and white and it’s definitely for germ reasons.

              But I do think people from back home put their purses on the floor less, now that I think about it –
              I do tend to look for anywhere but the floor to put my purse at a restaurant and when I do put it there, it feels wrong in a weird way (not gross but a little like everyone is judging me for not finding a better place to put my purse). But on the subway or outside in a park, it doesn’t bother me at all. So very specific!

          3. Sara*

            Oh there are studies that say the bottom of your purse is one of the germiest places. Even worse than a toilet. But at the same time, just don’t put it near your food, you should be fine.

            1. TL -*

              Everything is worse than a toilet, though! :)
              And yes, but it’s probably not as bad as your keyboard, communal keyboards, your toothbrush, or your phone (seriously, your phone screen is nasty.)

              1. Zombii*

                “More germs than a public toilet seat” has more Google hits than “Tastes like chicken.”

        2. Lablizard*

          A couple of my friends who are of Chinese descent, but from a variety of different places in Asia, always get on my case if I put my purse on the floor. They told me that it means your money is going disappear/flow away/decrease

          1. nonegiven*

            I thought that was why you put the toilet lid down, to keep your money from going down the drain.

        4. MsCHX*

          My mother would NEVER put her purse on the floor and would quite possibly cuss you if you put her bag on the floor. LOL!

        5. Julia*

          This. Plus manspreaders and people who cross their legs in a way that makes the soles of their shoes touch your legs.
          People who elbow you because they can’t stand up to take off/put on their jacket suck, too.
          And stinkers.

      3. Amber T*

        I’ve sat on other people’s bags before. Hasn’t happened that often, just a few times. Twice they waited til one of us left to get the bag (less communication needed), but one dude ripped his messenger bag from underneath me. If you’re lucky to get a seat on a subway (or train, or where ever), you’re only allowed to take up as much room as your butt takes up. Not your bags, not your legs. If people are being rude, I usually don’t have a problem with being rude right back.

        1. all aboard the anon train*

          Oh, definitely. I’ve just moved people’s stuff before if I want to sit. It’s just really rude to occupy extra space you don’t need in a crowded area.

        2. Blue Anne*

          Ha. Yeah, I remember basically sitting on people’s laps a bunch of times during rush hour on the 4 or 5 when I was in high school. Or grabbing the standing pole close enough to where they were leaning against it that I was heavily touching their shoulder.

          I was guilty of etiquette breaches too though. I learned pretty quickly that while I can comfortably and safely knit standing up on my 40 minute train ride, the people in the seats in front of me sometimes do not appreciate it…

        3. Marillenbaum*

          I mean, I’m someone who carries a lot of stuff on the Metro in the morning. I have my (crossbody) purse, my massive backpack, and my gym bag. I still manage to take up only a single seat: gym bag between my feet, backpack on my lap, purse on top of the backpack. It’s perfectly doable.

      4. Lily in NYC*

        I don’t ever put my purse on a floor. But I know it’s my own issue and would never complain about it. I brought in an adhesive 3M hook – problem solved! People need to get over themselves.

        1. AMT*

          I’ve seen portable purse hooks designed to hang from restaurant tables. I think it’s a brilliant idea. My messenger bag is cheap, but NYC floors get filthy.

      5. Sibley*

        The unwritten rule of transit where I am it you just start sitting down. If they don’t want their purse sat on, they move it. Train conductors will enforce that rule as well, and if you cause a fuss they’ll throw you off the train. I’ve seen, repeatedly.

      6. Alton*

        I don’t like putting my things on the floor, especially on the city buses that always seem filthy, so I just carry my stuff in my lap when I’m on the bus.

        I don’t see a problem with people putting their stuff on the seat next to them if there are plenty of seats available, but I don’t because the seats are often gross-looking, too.

        1. all aboard the anon train*

          My problem isn’t when they put their stuff on a seat in an empty subway car or bus. It’s when they do that when it’s a busy subway car or bus and that seat could be used for someone to sit in.

        2. Elizabeth West*

          There was a video going around where someone gave the seat on a London tube line a big old whack and the amount of dust that came up was SICKENING. The next time I rode the tube, I tried really hard not to think about it.

          Still not as gross as the floor, though. On any public transit, my purse goes on my lap; if I have a backpack, it goes on the floor between my feet whether I’m standing or sitting.

      8. ReneeB*

        Oh lord have mercy. I was told once, in all seriousness, not to put my purse on the floor because that meant I was disrespecting my money. And if I disrespected my money by putting it on the public floor, it would disrespect me.

        Whhhhhhat? Talk about strangely purse-superstitious. The lady was completely serious. She was very lady like with her purse at all times. I finally understood why. Sigh.

        So now when I witness this, I remember that lady, and I just shrug. Sometimes these things are believed in all seriousness. And who am I to keep someone from having their money disrespect them? XD

    2. Sualah*

      Wow. I mean, I wouldn’t want to put my stuff on the floor, either, but I can’t imagine throwing that kind of fit about it. Overreaction, much?

      1. PB*

        Yep. We tried to work with her on other options, like using the coat rack across the hall, which had a shelf for bags, using the hutch on the desk, or putting it on the printer table right next to her desk, but it *had* to be a chair. Nothing else would do.

        1. AvonLady Barksdale*

          In some parts of Mexico, one does not, ever ever, put one’s purse on the floor. I was told during my tours there that this is because a purse on the floor means that one is a woman of ill repute (how true this is, I don’t know), but there’s a security thing too. Anyway, at most restaurants we visited, waitstaff brought over a little pole or rack for our purses. It was awesome. We had lots of fun names for this pole. Strikes me as an elegant and space-saving solution… unless you demand a whole freaking chair for your bag.

          1. Amber T*

            The “woman of ill repute” is fascinating… how are you of ill repute if you put your bag on the floor? Because you have to bend over? Hmm… it’s ridiculous, don’t get me wrong, but it’s interesting the way cultures or groups of people associate one thing with another, and when you’re outside that group, trying to figure out how and why.

            1. Pickles*

              Some cultures use signals less obvious than, say, a super skimpy outfit to indicate, er, availability. Can’t speak to this particular one, but I’ve heard of it in other parts of the world.

              Also, I’ve heard advice that in some places, you should avoid putting your bag on the floor to avoid picking up bedbugs. Which argues for not sitting down, too, in my book.

              1. nonegiven*

                When the wife of the local pest control guy goes to a hotel, she will put her stuff on the dresser, in the bathtub, counter, etc, until she has pulled the covers back down to the mattress and closely inspected it.

            2. SF2K01*

              Historically, this is because, in certain regions, Prostitutes would sit somewhere like you might see a beggar today – on the ground with a money area/purse/bag in front of them. You walk, throw your money in the bag, and then you’ve hired her, so I can see where this might come from.

          2. Liane*

            When I was a little kid, lots of diners and even better restaurants had hooks under the tables that were for purses. By the time I was a teen–when I needed them–they were gone. Those so need to be brought back.

            1. RabbitRabbit*

              I see a lot of them at bar seating, fortunately. An alternative is that you can buy a little folding hook that clips on a table edge, and slips into your purse afterwards.

              2. MegaMoose, Esq*

                I still see the hooks at bars sometimes, but I think a lot of places are phasing them out to make room for outlets. I’ve got a charger in my bag that we bought on accident (not realizing the cord was super short) but now lives for phone charging at the bar.

          3. Aunt Margie at Work*

            I read about that, too. In Dear Abby. Two women went to lunch. A was offended that B put purse on table. B told A that only women of ill repute put their purses on the floor.

            1. AMT*

              I love how some people seem to keep a running tally of what “women of ill repute” do. Like, where did they pick up this information? Why have they so meticulously catalogued it?

              1. Nic*

                Growing up in the Southern US, this list is extremely long. I remember being taught to do or not do many things as a small child, ranging from “women of ill repute wear maekup. Good girls pinch their cheeks,” to “only women of ill repute sweat. Ladies ‘glow’.”

    3. Catalyst*

      I won’t lie, I have some expensive purses that I try really hard not to put on the floor. BUT, I would never throw a fit over it, let alone even mention it because I know I’m being a weirdo. lol

    4. Turquoise Cow*

      I have a purse with a long strap. If there’s no obvious place to put it (say, at a party or other get-together) and/or I don’t feel comfortable leaving it unattended (for security or convenience reasons), I’ll just carry it, strap across my body. Both my hands are free.

      When I’m at a restaurant or similar, I’ll set it on the floor and loop the strap over my knees so I can pick it up without having to bend over, and I also am not taking a chair that someone else might need.

      I’ve never understood the trend of huge purses with small handles that you *have* to carry. People literally have to set them down somewhere to rummage for things, which slows everyone down.

    5. This*

      Southern (US) family here–you don’t put your purse on the floor because it means you’ll have no money. My gran, as I recall, was a stickler about this one.

      Also, don’t sweep people’s feet with the broom. Don’t remember why on that one, though.

      1. Nic*

        For the broom one at least in my area, the person whose feet were swept under would never marry.

        I remember specifically setting up situations where I’d have my feet swept under. For that reason.

  16. FDCA In Canada*

    Last month as the result of budget cuts, our boss informed us we would no longer be able to offer free coffee to clients at our satellite office. One of my coworkers, who does not even work at that office, was honestly devastated at this. She complained for, quite literally, days. Every time anyone came near the coffee machine in our regular office, it was grounds for a full-scale “Did you KNOW that our OTHER office CUT their COFFEE?” and then five minutes of ranting. “I’m just the kind of person who could never deny that to someone!” or “That’s just cruel” or “Can you even imagine what some people must be thinking?” to “Someone left a Google review that says we had free coffee and now that won’t be accurate!”

    I work for a government-sponsored nonprofit. It’s an office. Our regular office sees maybe 3 people avail themselves of the free coffee per week, tops. But on and on and on and on and on the discussion went. I brought back two boxes of cups/stirrers/lids/etc to the regular office and as I was storing them away, my coworker happened upon me and said “Are those from the OTHER office? Are you SURE it’s a good idea to keep them here?” Coffee is still kind of a touchy subject here now.

    1. ThatGirl*

      Oh my gosh, my last job changed its coffee and it was so stupid. First they were cutting costs so the free (horrible) coffee was discontinued and Flavia machines were installed. We were given some free packs as a trial and encouraged to order more at a discount through the company.

      The machines were terrible, broke a lot and everyone complained about having to buy packets.

      The free horrible coffee returned and keurig machines were also installed. We still had to buy pods.

      The whole time there was much better coffee available for a minimal amount in the cafe.

      1. Amber T*

        If I’m going to be perfectly honest… if my company got rid of free coffee, I’d be one of the ones endlessly complaining about it. To be fair, probably not to anyone except those who are also complaining about it (and there would be plenty). Buying it for cheap is one thing, but free (even if horrible) coffee…

        1. JustaTech*

          My office agreed that if they ever got rid of the free, meh coffee we made ourselves, that would be the sign of the end times. At some of our other sites they had to stop providing keurig coffee because people were going through so much (9 cups per person per day) that it was clear people were taking it home. Another site had to have a lecture and an official rule that you were not allowed to buy the $0.25 sodas out of the vending machine and then sell them on the beach during your break.

          1. BenAdminGeek*

            “an official rule that you were not allowed to buy the $0.25 sodas out of the vending machine and then sell them on the beach during your break”

            This is the best thing ever.

      2. Hlyssande*

        Yeah, if my office discontinued the free coffee, there would be a riot. But that’s partially because they installed the free coffee when we moved here in trade for losing the cheap but good onsite cafeteria. There’s a sink, industrial keurig + cups, and a giant printer in a little nook near me on the top floor, and another industrial keurig along with some traditional brewers in the big break room a floor down.

        1. Sprinkled with Snark*

          One of the worst places I have ever worked was at a public children’s garden where we had year-round outdoor events involving staff, volunteers, and of course, the children and their families. One time my not-so-bright director had organized an outdoor event at night in December, and the weather had turned bitterly and unseasonably cold. The staff, who were busy trying to wrap up fragile plants, while wearing full Carheart suits, face masks and gloves, kept returning to the main office just to warm up. We had NO visitors to the outdoor garden that night, and the director insisted we stayed open until 9pm. He would always have us set up this little table where we SOLD coffee right outside the office, but the staff weren’t allowed to have any of it. Most of the paid staff, who were not educational programmers, were high school kids working in this government grant program, so these 16 and 17 year old kids were standing outside in the snow flapping themselves in the chest and arms to warm up. The other educational programmer had the idea to make a big pot of hot water and let the kids have some hot chocolate. My director was NOT there that night. So we made hot chocolate and gave it to the kids, which was like half a box of some cheap Swiss Miss packets or something. The very next morning, when we came in to work, our director FLIPS OUT! She screamed at Jenn and I, how DARE we STEAL from the company and waste their precious resources, etc, etc, and both Jenn and I said we will PAY for the 6 packets of Swiss Miss, in fact, we will each buy a WHOLE BOX and donate it to the organization, but she just went on and on about how irresponsible we were, and finally Jenn broke down in tears, saying “If you saw those poor freezing kids out there you would have helped them too!” and ran crying into the bathroom. Then the director (who was a real B in every way usually), put up a big sign in the staff break room that read “coffees and hot chocolates are for SALE only, and that ANY employee who takes them for ANY reason will be fired.” The next weekend, when we had that same stupid event again, one of the kids moms, who was this wonderful Latino woman, brought in a huge tray of hot food, Mexican cocoa, hot chocolate, etc, and set it all up in the breakroom. She put up a sign that read, “This food is free for the garden staff who work so hard every day serving the public.” My director was so pissed, but she knew that if she made a big stink she would lose all standing with the community. We all ended up quitting soon after that, and now the garden is permanently closed.

          1. Anne (with an "e")*

            It makes me wonder if this woman had been kinder and smarter, in that order, that perhaps the community garden could have survived.

          2. Lusca*

            Good for you and your colleague for standing up to her! My whole community loves our nature centers and would be devestated without them, especially the kids. Did this garden close primarily because of your ex-boss’s mismanagement?

    2. Ancient Blue Haired Lady*

      My office moved to a different office location and we weren’t able to take this huge, fancy coffeemaker with us. There’s only about 15 people who regularly work here, and the rest work remotely and maybe come into the office once a year, but they all talk about this fancy coffeemaker. Some remote coworkers were asking about the coffee situation at the new office because they were planning on coming in and I was like, “Well, there’s a Keurig, and a Tassimo, and a regular coffeemaker” and they were like WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FANCY ONE? I JUST WANT COFFEE FROM THE FANCY ONE. When they did come in and someone gave them the tour of the office, they commenced their squawking about the FANCY COFFEEMAKER and WHEN ARE YOU GETTING IT BACK???????????

      Everyone who regularly works in the office is fine with the coffee situation

    4. Aunt Vixen*

      I had an office where the paper products in the restrooms went from being not so bad to being gossamer-thin overnight. I didn’t pitch a fit, but I did bring it up when someone asked how everyone was doing. (You had to use 3x the paper towels to dry your hands; not actually saving money or trees!) They admitted it had been an ordering error and as soon as the bad ones were used up we’d go back to the previous brand. Very satisfying.

      1. Ms Ida*

        My office tried to saving money by buying single ply toilet paper. It was so thin and on such large rolls that it would break and you would end up with a handful of tiny shards to TP. I am usually pretty relaxed about the changes but even I complained that time. I understand some people went bananas. We had the regualr TP back the next week and still gets mentioned after five years.

    5. LB*

      My husband and his coworkers had a fit when they changed the free coffee. The company (which is having some well-known cash flow problems) decided that in lieu of Starbucks coffee for the free coffee, they were switching to some cheaper brand. My husband was livid. He would come home from work and only want to tell me about his company’s audacity to buy cheap coffee. After a few weeks, the company switched the coffee back due to the staff revolt. I was amazed that a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings had the nerve to complain about the quality of free coffee while the company is laying people off.

      1. Anastasia Beaverhausen*

        It may seem petty but those are the straws that break camels backs. I work for a very lucrative, very small private company that produces teapots on a guaranteed 24 hour turnaround – and despite the steady business growth every now and then gets a bee in their bonnet about cutting costs. First they cut bonuses and then they eliminated them (without ever saying a word in advance). Then they cut production and support staff. Then they declared no overtime despite increased volume and decreased staff – so we became perpetually behind on everything that wasn’t on 24 hour turnaround, but still vital such as quality control and customer service. So they hired a do nothing person to “keep us on task” (she comes in two hours late, takes a two hour lunch, leaves two hours early; but she has a way of talking in circles and giggling until you forget what you’re talking about or just shut down). They gifted us a Keurig machine but told us we had to provide our own k cups and by the way they were no longer going to pay for coffee, sweeter, and creamer. Ummm, more than once they’ve had clients/guests in the conference room who have asked for coffee and we’ve sheepishly been asked if anyone has a k cup!

        And then they tried to discontinue the Sparklett’s water jug in the breakroom. It costs 36 dollars a month. That became our hill to die on. They caved, but we’re still bitter three years later.

  17. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

    Three years of angst and woe at OldJob when we went from “ok just please wear your badge somewhere on your person” to “badge must be on a lanyard around your neck and visible on your front at all times.” Custodial staff and IT were excepted, since they were often working where having a badge hanging down in front of them was an issue; as I recall, a few people tried bribing IT to get their badge-holder armbands. Some people appointed themselves the lanyard police and started challenging everyone who wasn’t wearing their badge properly at any moment, while others went full rebel and refused to carry their badges at all once they got past the door.

    1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      Office Dark Knights vs. Office Jokers: FIGHT

    2. M*

      I think this one is a legit reaction up until the point of not carrying badges after they got through the door.

    3. Teena*

      Something similar happened at my job! Upon being told that it was now mandatory to wear your badge on a lanyard (no, not a clip, not on your belt, it had to be a lanyard), one woman completely lost it. She stood up (this was a meeting) and ranted about how lanyards were UGLY and they RUINED her outfits and WHY OH WHY was this a rule because EVERYONE hated it (no, the rest of us were fine) and so on. She compared it to “papers, please” and how this was the slippery slope that would lead to robot workers and oh there was so much more but I can’t remember it all.

      Over the next few weeks she tried wearing her lanyard inside her blouse (no, the point is that the badge is visible) and claiming she just forgot until she got written up… and SHE QUIT. Well, took early retirement, but still. She was a massively unhappy person in all regards so I’m sure this was just the final straw, but still. She’s a legend around here (The Lanyard Loathing Lady).

      1. WaitingforMacaroni*

        I used to wear a lanyard daily and it created pilling on my cheaper outfits, so I sort of see that argument. But to quit over it? Noooooooooooo.

        1. sam*

          The little metal hook at the end of most lanyards actually wore holes in some of my sweaters when I worked in a place that was a “visible badges all the time” type of place. Since womens’ clothes often don’t have belt-loops or pockets, I often got stuck wearing a lanyard even though it wasn’t actually mandatory.

          1. SarahKay*

            sam, I sew a short length of ribbon to the inside of any skirts/trousers that don’t have belt loops and clip the lanyard to that. In fact lots of garments will have a similar loop inside the waistband anyway (in the UK, at least), presumably so you can hang the garment from them.

            2. sam*

              That works if you’re wearing something with a waistband :)

              (I wear a lot of dresses. )

              1. SarahKay*

                Ooh, yes, sorry, I have no tips for that, merely sympathy. Actually that’s not quite true – I have been known to wear my lanyard as an improvised belt – obviously it needs to be the sort of lanyard that clips open at the back, and the right length to sit approx on your waist….YMMV

          2. caligirl*

            Don’t like lanyards either – I secretly think of it as a leash – but Micheal’s has some that are basically long strands of fake pearls so they aren’t as ugly. (I had to get a new one recently due to a peanut butter incident.)

          3. Candi*

            That would explain the number of lanyard hooks I’ve seen around here with colored, patterned, or even color coordinated duct tape around the hooks. (Usually people in scrubs/with med titles on their badges.)

      2. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

        To be fair, I also hate lanyards with a fiery passion; I don’t know why, but something about having a lanyard lie against the back of my neck really bugs me, and tenses up a whole bunch of muscles in that area. I was a semi-rebel for a little while (I still used a clip, but clipped my badge to my collar so it was essentially in the same region as a lanyard would put it) and that seemed to be acceptable to all but the most understimulated of the Office Dark Knights.

        1. bohtie*

          I have the same reaction! I do NOT like having stuff on the back of my neck, and also I do a decent amount of heavy lifting so I’m constantly getting my badge caught on stuff anyway. I just basically strung it through my belt loop and called it a day, and luckily so far no one has complained.

        2. MegaMoose, Esq*

          Yeah, I can’t stand the feel of most lanyards either. Thankfully, the one place I worked that ID was required the rule was just “visible,” and since I usually wear separates, I could use a clip with extender. I think those are far more useful when you need to swipe doors, anyhow.

      3. Armchair Analyst*

        “massively unhappy person”

        You’re more generous than I am. I once went to a company picnic, that had been moved inside due to rain. And in the course of the elevator ride down to the large meeting room, my co-worker complained about BOTH the rainout AND having had to set aside work for an expected afternoon of fun that is usually outside. I was impressed. After that I just called her “Complainy Lady” in my head. I’ll tell you what, though – she never failed to live up to her nickname. :(

      4. Youth Services Librarian*

        We had lanyard drama! So, our city decided to issue all the workers photo ids to wear. Whatever, nothing to do with us since half the time they forget the library exists. But somehow our director was told or decided that we also MUST have photo ids. So we all obediently trooped over to the police station, got our pictures taken in the booking office, and waited. And waited. Finally, our photos ids came. They misspelled the name of our city and labeled all the staff as “clerks”. Um…. so we waited and waited again. Finally, new badges came. Everyone must wear their badge on a lanyard! Well, I hate anything around my neck and I work with kids (ever had a lanyard grabbed and pulled by an inquisitive baby or toddler?) our circulation staff kept getting them caught on things. I took to clipping mine to my existing name tag (oh yeah, did I mention we already had name tags?) and another staff member was sure the lanyard was giving her neck spasms. But everyone must wear the lanyards and photo ids! Um…finally someone asked why. Nobody knew. Mysteriously, use of the lanyards and photo ids diminished. A few people still wear them, but not often.

        1. BritCred*

          I worked in a non client facing office and we had to change our lanyards out for breakaway ones. One of the reasons I was given for this was that it was for safety if someone tried to harm us with them. No one was sure who this mythical person was that was out to harm us with our lanyards.

          1. RabbitRabbit*

            Sounds like someone who used to work in, or who knows someone who works in, a hospital. Of course, those people generally know that the reason is because you’re actually *working with people* who might be inclined to grab your lanyard.

            1. Anonymous 40*

              Huh. I work for a hospital and the lanyards they give us aren’t breakaway, though it would make sense that they should be. In a previous badge-wearing company, you had to have a breakaway if you were working in a manufacturing or shipping facility.

          2. Gen*

            One of our bank employees was strangled with his lanyard and hospitalised by a guy specifically stealing his ID to get into the main offices, so they just switched to a rule of never wearing them off site :/

        2. Amy G. Golly*

          I feel like this entire thread could be filled with “Library workers who overreact to things.” :P When I started at my old library, everyone had name tags, but many just didn’t wear them. When they started enforcing the “everyone must wear a name tag” rule, there was similar wailing and gnashing of teeth.

          …as there was to EVERY change we were ever asked to make during my time there. ;)

      5. Kj*

        I hate lanyards, but that’s because I’ve worked/ currently work in setting where clients have tried to chock staff with them. I have the type that breaks if someone grabs it, so I’ll wear mine now but many of my coworkers have the type that doesn’t break, despite the fact that clients have tried to chock other staff before. I think the policy that we wear them is stupid considering the risks. Or at least require that people’s special fashion/sportsball/whatever lanyard break when grabbed.

            1. RabbitRabbit*

              Yeah, that or psych/ER unit/etc. My hospital provides both standard and breakaway models depending on preference and location.

              1. MegaMoose, Esq*

                Do hospitals refer to their patients as clients? That was the keyword for me (an old, old friend of mine has worked for group homes for years – oh, the stories!).

          2. Kj*

            A therapy office. Yes, I also worked in a residential home. I also lost 6 inches of hair at that place from a client attack… Yeah, I’m paranoid now.

        2. BritCred*

          See you needed the management I mention above! That I can understand when there is a need and a risk.

        3. Jaune Desprez*

          At a former job, everyone in my department had to switch to institution-branded breakaway lanyards, which actually made sense because it was a medical environment and some of our patients were disturbed. One of the check-in desk staff took it very badly. She liked to make beaded jewelry, and she had assembled a huge selection of fancy beaded lanyards to match her different outfits. After her manager told her that the beaded lanyards were no longer acceptable, she spent the next week in a glowering funk, muttering under her breath and then staring coldly at anyone who asked what she’d said. She was a very intense, volatile person with a dominating physical presence, and her coworkers were all a little bit afraid of her.

          This same coworker reacted even more angrily when we all had to standardize our email signatures. She hijacked a staff meeting to argue about it and gesticulated so wildly that she actually hit the poor shrinking girl sitting next to her. The best part about it was the personal email motto she was fighting to hard to keep: “Committed to performing excellence!”

      7. The OG Anonsie*

        SHE COMPARED IT TO PAPERS, PLEASE

        This is now my favorite story from this whole post.

        As someone who has a bit of a funny gait, though, I hate having a lanyard around my neck because whether you leave it long or tie it up short, it either swings or bounces off my boobs with every step. When I had a job where I had to have a badge visible on the chest there was no lanyard-specific component to it, so I just got the clip kind and clipped it by my shoulder so it wouldn’t swing around. A lot of people did the same thing. If they said it hadddd to be a lanyard, I’d be pretty peeved.

        1. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

          Yeah, I have the same thing — I’m busty, so the badge hangs in midair instead of lying against my body when it’s on a lanyard, and swings wildly unless I take major pains to walk as smoothly as I possibly can. More reasons I hate lanyards!

    4. AlexandrinaVictoria*

      This has just happened at my company, with similar results. People are putting the lanyard in their pockets and attaching their badges the way they did before. “But I’m using the lanyard!” I’d just be happier if the lanyards weren’t so ugly! :-)

      1. TL -*

        I hate hate hate lanyards. I don’t like fabric against my neck, and I feel like they’re choking me half the time and they rub the back of my neck raw anyways.

        I don’t complain about them, I just quietly rebel until people give in. Right now, I just completely ignore our badge policy (I didn’t have one for a few months because I didn’t want to pay to replace the one I lost. Finally gave in when I had to swipe in and out of a bunch of rooms.)

        1. Allison*

          I didn’t mind how it looked or felt, but I had a horrible habit of playing with the little metal and plastic contraption that affixed the badge to the lanyard, and eventually the plastic bit would break, I’d try to fix it with tape, that would last a week or so, and then I’d need to pilfer a new lanyard because I couldn’t just replace the plastic doohicky.

    5. Sibley*

      We have to have the badges on us at all times. Depending on the layout of your floor, you can’t get back to your desk without a badge. Not carrying your badge is a real problem, so everyone does.

    6. Anonyme*

      I’m a nurse and items around your neck are fairly widely acknowledged as a serious safety risk in health care. Patients have strangled nurses and physicians with lanyards and stethoscopes. It might not be a concern in an office environment but I would not wear a lanyard around my neck.

      1. mskyle*

        Most lanyards now have a breakaway buckle or similar, for this very reason. I still hate them, but I think the strangling risk is much lower than it used to be.

        1. RabbitRabbit*

          Yes, our hospital provides both models. I suspect some units require breakaway.

    7. The Bread burglar*

      We have to wear and carry ours everywhere because all the bloody doors are secured and you cant get to the loo without it. But we have two ids both facig in to eachother because I hate the photo. Nobody has ever commented on it.

      1. Nic*

        I know your pain! There are four badge-ins to get to my desk, and another two if I need to get to the bathroom from my desk. Luckily we can use lanyards or clips with extenders.

    8. mskyle*

      I have some sympathy for the lanyard loathers… I really hate having things hanging from my neck (small chains are OK, but nothing big, and I’m very particular about aprons and halter tops). I used to work at a lanyard-requiring place and I ended up switching over to wearing shirts with collars to “protect” me from the lanyard. Did not like it. I would have happily worn a badge on a clip, but that was not allowed.

      1. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

        My work apron when I was in retail was a godsend — instead of a neck loop, it had two very long straps that crossed between my shoulderblades and then looped through at hip height. Since I often had a lot of heavy objects in my pockets (scanner, fabric scissors, extra stock I was putting away, etc) it was sooo good to have that weight spread out rather than hanging off my neck. I’ve always thought that if I ended up in a position where I wore an apron again, I’d alter it if need be to get that arrangement again.

        1. SimplyAlissa*

          I have a side job in the mornings where I have to wear an apron. The supplied apron was one with 3 tiny narrow pockets (seriously, I could barely get my hand in one) with a neck loop. And in shortness that it barely covered past your waistline, and the ties were so short that I could barely get it around me (I’m not a large person per se, but we wear many layers of clothing due to working in a cold room).

          I bought a cross-tie one off Amazon for cheap, with two large deep pockets, long enough length to protect my clothing, and plenty of strap length to properly tie off despite my ten layers of clothing. Management started to say something the first day I wore it…until his complaint slowly petered out, he shrugged, and said “Well you are wearing the right color”.

          Anything hanging off my neck causes me panic attacks (PTSD). Lanyards, aprons, clingy small children. The apron was hill I was willing to die on. Or at least bring in a doctor’s note for.

    9. SarahKay*

      I admit, I’m not a fan of lanyards. If I’m having a tough day my neck and shoulders are where all the stress sits, and I find the weight (minimal though it is) of the lanyard makes it worse. Luckily we’re allowed to wear our passes on our belts, so long as they’re visible.

      All that said, if lanyards become the enforced rule, I’d grumble quietly once or twice to a couple of friends and then live with it. Because, you know, I’m an adult, and that’s the rule.

    10. required name*

      If they mandated lanyards, I’d be that person. I wear my badge on my belt and never had any issues. But I hate the way long necklaces feel, I hate how lanyards just get in the way, I hate how they hang down. They’re big and bulky and just feel weird against my neck. They’re just constantly in the way. Loathe them. The badge holders wear through the belt loops eventually, but that’s a small price to pay for not having to wear a lanyard.

    11. bopper*

      When our Swedish overlords bought our company, we were told to wear our badges on lanyards… but the problem is that the thingy where you swipe your badge to get through the revolving doors is at wheelchair height…so you have to bend over. Our bosses told us to adhere to the request for the first couple of months at least..implying that after that they don’t care as much. I wear my badge but on a retractible thing I clip on my pants so I don’t have to choke myself going to he cafeteria.

      Also, Brighton makes pretty lanyards.

    12. many bells down*

      I actually kind of miss our lanyards, because we could wear any kind we liked and put buttons/badges on them. But the new badges they gave us are really nice. I just don’t have anything to put my 47 Star Trek pins on now.

    13. Cath in Canada*

      Oh, that happened at one of my old jobs, too, and some people were Not Happy. IIRC, visible ID cards at chest height were required for us to maintain a security clearance status that got our exports fast-tracked through the US border, and the US customs agency (or whoever oversaw the programme for them) could do random unannounced inspections. So there was a legitimate business need for it, and the company bought safe breakaway lanyards in a pretty nice non-scratchy material, but people still expended a ridiculous amount of time and energy trying to fight the rule.

    14. Reader*

      Does nobody remember the AskAManager post where male colleagues were using looking at a woman’s ID (on the end of a lanyard) as an excuse to very obviously ogle her breasts, and she wasn’t allowed to alter the lanyard length or wear the ID somewhere else on her person?

      1. Nic*

        Oh! I’d totally forgotten that until you brought it up. *shudders* What a creep, and what a horrible situation!

    15. a.n.o.n.*

      This would actually be a huge problem for me, and I would complain. I have chronic migraine, and having anything around my neck triggers an episode for me. When I try to wear lanyards or necklaces, I end up in horrific pain.

  18. alter_ego*

    The reaction wasn’t too extreme, but the impetus just seemed crazy to me. We have a set of customized objects for our drawings in AutoCAD. the default color for them was orange, years and years ago. After about a year of orange, the default color changed to green. It has been green for 7 or 8 years now. One engineer was still using the old orange buttons. This required effort on his part. Green is the default. you have to manually change things in each drawing if you want the buttons to come in orange.

    Last year, the head of the company decided that he wanted everyone across all offices on the same standard. This meant that our one guy had to start using the green objects. He argued for. hours. Would not let go of his desire for orange objects, for no discernible reason. Our drawings print in black and white, it required more work to get orange, but this was a HUUUUUUUGE sticking point for him. As far as I know, he’s still using orange. It just blows my mind that he cares this much about it.

      1. my two cents*

        that’s my thought, too…maybe the selected ‘green’ looks absolutely horrid and/or it is harder to distinguish gradient tones. My dad always loved the color yellow – because it was the only color that appeared as ‘yellow’ to him. Greens all looked like beige-y greys to my dad. My colorblind buddy can still ‘see’ most colors as normal, but he can’t tell if something is red-based or green-based if they’re the same tone, ie dark olive looks like maroon, or yellow-green appears the same as light orange.

        Regardless, this is still Well beyond a reasonable reaction. lol

        1. alter_ego*

          I don’t think he is. It’s not a very “pretty” shade of green, because it’s quite neon, but the orange is similarly neon. And there’s no gradients or other colors to confuse it with. Just green objects and white text on a black background (we’re free to change it to a white background and black text, but we’ve all chosen black with white text since it shows up on the screens better)

      2. alter_ego*

        He, to my knowledge, isn’t. He’s been similarly incredibly stubborn about other changes, but this is the most objectively insignificant one he’s fought.

      3. On Fire*

        My first thought, too. My cousin can only see bright orange; everything else is shades of gray (but not 50). Depending on the setup of his work, this guy might be being more efficient by spending that extra time changing the color.

      4. Ursula*

        I assume that would have come up in the arguing if it were the case. It would be an actual legitimate reason.

    2. SimonTheGreyWarden*

      That they print in black and white makes this story all the more delicious to me.

      1. Applesauced*

        Typically the colors correspond to line weights, so if “green” is 1 point, and “orange” is 10 points, that’s a HUGE issue in a drawing set.

        1. alter_ego*

          Same line weight, luckily, or else they really would force him to change it. The colors are the same on the…brightness scale, for lack of a better descriptor, which means they print the same in black and white. But yes, a different line weight would be a HUGE issue for us.

    3. animaniactoo*

      I’d be willing to put down money on partial color blindness that means he can see the orange but can’t see the green and it would affect his spatial relationships when working not to have something that was actually a “second” color as far as his eyes can tell.

  19. Mrs. Fenris*

    Not overly dramatic, but when our facility expanded to being open 24 hours, email became the primary way for the boss and staff to communicate with each other. Big deal, right? People who work different shifts can go several days without seeing each other, so verbal communication or leaving notes wasn’t going to be effective any more.

    One guy greatly resented being “forced” to check his email. He found that totally unacceptable for whatever reason. He would miss staff-wide memos, and indignantly say, “well, *I* didn’t know!” Oh, yeah, it was in the email Boss sent Monday, didn’t you see it? “No. And I’m sick of being told I have to check my email. That’s just ridiculous.” I mean, every week. This was around 2009 and he was a young guy with all of the usual connections on social media and so forth, so it’s not like he had trouble with the technology. Just for whatever reason, he didn’t want to.

    1. Turtlewings*

      “I’m sick of being told I have to check my email.” Well, if you’re sick of doing the basic tasks required by your job, there’s the door! That’s just… mind-boggling.

    2. Dinosaur*

      I’m in college right now and I’ve heard similar sentiments from students younger than me (I’m 26 and older than many). Some professors use email regularly to announce due date changes, classroom changes, alterations to assignments, etc. There’s so much whining about it and I don’t understand it. These are usually the same people glued to their phones in class so I can’t figure out what the problem is.

      1. Transformer*

        Do they also update the online syllabus so the info is in one place or are there multiple emails they just “need to keep”

      2. Emi.*

        They’re mad about all email, not just about email for last-minute things? I had professors cancel class by email with ~15 minutes’ notice, which was really frustrating to everyone who didn’t constantly check email on our phones (even if we did use said phones in class).

        1. Natalie*

          How else are they supposed to do it with that amount of notice, though? Professors don’t generally have everyone’s phone number to text the whole class. And it beats showing up to class to see a note on the door when you could have been notified sooner.

          1. Alter_ego*

            I think the issue is probably that they shouldn’t really be doing it at all. I can’t imagine that there are that many scenarios that you only know about 15 minutes in advance. But in my experience, professors took the fact that they *could* notify us on that sort of a timeline as permission to cancel more frequently then they otherwise would.

            I was perhaps more frustrated by the fact that the only two professors that I had who would regularly cancel class were also the only two with an attendance policy.

            1. Natalie*

              Huh. Over a decade and several colleges, I think I’ve had a surprise/last minute cancellation once or twice, and they were definitely issues where the professor didn’t have advanced warning. I did have a situation where the entire course was cancelled for low enrollment, and the college put a note on the door rather than email us. I was THRILLED to leave work early and get over to campus during rush hour only to find out that I wasn’t in a class anymore.

              1. Marillenbaum*

                I once had a professor leave during class. It was 2.5 hours, with a 15-minute break in the middle. During the break, he suddenly walked into the classroom and said “Daycare called. Kid’s sick. Class is cancelled. Tell people?” and walked out. I wrote a notice on the board, and my study group went out for tacos and margaritas.

              2. Nic*

                During hurricane season several years ago I made myself get up and walk across campus (a mile or so) in the rain and wind because there had been no notice that class was cancelled. Only to find that the building the class was in had been turned into a hurricane shelter and all classes all week were cancelled.

                You’d think a campus-wide “this building is being re-purposed” email would have been possible.

        2. The Rat-Catcher*

          Our university’s email server had HORRIBLE mobile compatibility, which was the reason I never saw any of my emails until I checked from my laptop.

          1. The OG Anonsie*

            Yeah I was going to say– the reason people were upset about this when I was in school was because the school’s email system was terrible to use and often had issues that kept you from getting in for long periods of time (like, a full day long) so using it was a mess sometimes.

      3. TootsNYC*

        I have a college student son, and he’s a bit like this. ye gods!

        He may have missed out on some classes for next year because he didn’t check his email.

    3. Queen of the File*

      Oh yeah. My dad is this guy (minus the young part). He’s excellent at his job which is the only reason he hasn’t been fired 10 times over. He came back to work after taking 3 days off and was complaining to me that he had “30 new emails. Can you believe it? I don’t have time to read all that!! I just deleted them.”

    4. Phyllis*

      Yep. We were still doing paper memos here even 11-12 years ago. Which for one of my programs meant 14 separate memos & interoffice envelopes. I sent one final paper memo telling them from that point on all communications regarding the program would be via email. Had one guy tell me he several times ‘I don’t check my email’. My response was ‘That’s fine, but you’re going to miss a lot of important notices from me, because that’s what I’m sending.’ His work-around was to constantly ask another co-worker if I’d sent any communications that day/week/month.

    5. Anonymousaurus Rex*

      Oh man! I used to work at a Fire Department and there was one EMT (older guy, but low on totem pole) who absolutely never looked at his email. He’d be confused and out of the loop on basic memos all the time and honestly didn’t seem to understand that checking his email regularly was actually a job requirement. It drove me nuts! This was only 4 years ago.

    6. Noah*

      There was an AAM question about guy who refused to check email in the past year-ish. But at least that was an old guy in a gov’t office.

    7. Zombii*

      I think this is more common now that it was in 2009, but none of my friends in the 25-30 age range regularly check their email. They don’t whinge about work email or anything, because that’s obviously a job requirement for those who have it, but sending something to their personal emails means they’ll see it in like a week or two if ever.

      Kids these days seem to prefer social media and other “blast” platforms over one-on-one correspondence. (I’m 34, and apparently an anachronistic 34, since I prefer “old people” communication channels like email.)

      1. nonegiven*

        My son is 40 and he’s like, I get 300 emails a day, I’m on x many email lists, one of which I run. Message me on FB if you need me to see it in a timely manner and not have it lost in the avalanche.

      2. Marina*

        It’s so interesting to me that you see social media as “blast” and email as one-to-one, because it feels the opposite for me. Social media is a connection with an individual person I know; 90% of my email is newsletters, coupons, reminders from the kid’s school, etc. I suppose I feel the same way about paper mail as well–it could be a more personal form of communication but I so rarely get personal letters, it’s all mass mail junk.

  20. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

    Not exactly my work, but my church’s music director, choir, and the whole congregation flipped when the ELCA had to switch….hymnals. To get new ones.

    The new, very nice books are red as opposed to these ragged green ones. So much drama over “I can’t fiiiind anything/I don’t liiiiiike the red/whyyyyy did we haaaaave to change books.”

      2. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

        My grandmother was on the planning committee when they were renovating her church. Oh, the stories she told about committee drama!

    2. Parcae*

      Oh man, I need to get some of my pastor friends to contribute to this thread. So many amazing stories!

    3. A la peanut butter sandwiches*

      I could totally see some members of my old congregation doing that.

    4. ThatGirl*

      My dad’s a Mennonite pastor and whoooo boy the stupid crap churches have split over…

      1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        And somewhere the Archbishop of Canterbury just got a little self-conscious AND DOES NOT KNOW WHY

    5. NoMoreMrFixit*

      Yup that’s a hill lots of folks are willing to die on. When I was an organist many years ago my denomination brought out a new prayer book. And the new minister rammed it down our throats. Half the congregation ended up leaving over it and the way it was forced on us with no discussion.

    6. SimonTheGreyWarden*

      Ah, when the Catholic church makes any changes to the Mass. My grandpa took his grumbling to his grave about the end of Latin masses, and I personally spent two years complaining about changing “of one being” to “consubstantial”.

      It still doesn’t feel right.

      1. Jesmlet*

        I’m still cranky about having to say “and with your spirit”. It just sounds silly. Also the pounding of the chest 3 times. I just skip it.

        2. Nic*

          That on bothers me SO MUCH! I can deal with the chest pounding; I went to Catholic school and that was pretty ingrained. I don’t attend mass often these days (usually just with family) which is quite obvious as I use 10 year outdated phrases.

        3. Marthooh*

          Yeah, I’m not a Catholic anymore, but I heard about that one. I’d be tempted to put a “Dude!” at the end.

      2. Elizabeth West*

        Oh, the bitching when we switched to guitar mass in the 1970s. Most people liked the new songs / guitar music, but some of them never stopped complaining.

        This is the same congregation that would drone “Faith of Our Fathers” as such a slow dirge I still can’t stand that hymn to this day. >_<

      3. SusanIvanova*

        That’s because the new translation ignores one of the prime rules of translation – don’t try to do a “literal” translation. It doesn’t work. English does not emphasize things by repeating them three times. “Chalice” may be closer to the original Latin than “cup”, but English words that derive from Latin are generally fancier/more formal terms – “chalice” just makes me think of that guy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: “You chose… poorly.” And I have a friend who can go on for ages about how words that in Latin were a collective gender-neutral for “people” (yes, even back then) got translated as “men” instead.

    7. Spoonie*

      I grew up as one denomination. Worked for another. So. Many. Stories. Lawd.

      I am now agnostic. This may be partially why.

      1. Blue Anne*

        I grew up Quaker. You need a consensus to do anything. People can abstain but – at least in our Meeting – if anyone was still voting against it, you couldn’t do it. And anyone in the congregation who’s interested can be on any committee or at any business meeting.

        We always call them the Ents. Much conferring and meditating and consulting the light within… six years later the carpet would change from beige to teal…

        1. AMT*

          I am going to borrow that term! Such a perfect way to refer to the kind of organizational culture that values process and buy-in over replacing the copier sometime in the next decade.

        2. KellyK*

          Yeah, that’s about right for Quaker process. My meeting did have some major drama a few months ago, where one person wanted to stop the group from doing something, but couldn’t really give a concrete objection other than that he didn’t like it. At a very heated business meeting, he said he’d just unilaterally tell the person “no” himself, and the clerk of the meeting had to explain that he couldn’t do that. And he left the meeting in a huff.

          This was the same person who objected *strongly* when I mentioned a protest I was doing on the meeting mailing list. (Being vague to avoid getting into politics, but it was not out of line with the kind of stuff Quakers tend to protest.) At the time, he was in charge of checking the meeting voicemail and the meeting had gotten an invite from the group I was protesting. I’d been planning on protesting anyway, but his email made me go, “Oh, right, I’d been meaning to ask if anybody from the Meeting wanted to join me.” I clarified a couple times that the two things weren’t related, and that I was not presuming to do this as a representative of the meeting, but, oh, the drama. Dude wasn’t even a member of the meeting. (Neither am I, but I feel like trying to steamroll a group into doing things your way is even more presumptuous if you haven’t even *joined* the group.)

    9. CherryScary*

      I remember that happening! My mom was in the choir/worked in the office, and we still have a copy of the old one (also a blue softcover one that was optional(?) in our house.

      I don’t remember anyone freaking out about it, but I was in college at the time, so came home and the change had happened.

    10. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT*

      Let me tell you about the Great Sausage Controversy of 2013 when we stopped making ham for Shrove Tuesday. The ham instructions were in a binder, with all of the tasks involved broken down into 15-minute intervals, specific directions about where to buy the ham, and photocopies of receipts for every ham purchased for the past 20 years so we could know if we were getting an ok deal on the ham.

      My church is generally fantastic and as ok with change as possible, but every once in a while you hit these weird pockets…

      1. Taylor Swift*

        OMG I love this. To be honest, it sounds like something I’d do for myself (but would probably never impose on anybody else).

    11. GeorgiaB*

      I didn’t complain to anyone, but I hated that change! I still like the green book better :)

      1. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

        Well, me too, but I like the way the red book is organized and that it was new.

    12. Amadeo*

      Heh, yeah, that sounds about right. I’ve been trying to get my church to sing a couple of contemporary worship songs. Holy. Cheese. You’d have thought that I’d brought Lecrae in and blasted him on the speakers and it was just ‘10,000 Reasons’. The griping the followed made me so glad my faith is firm in something not human because I couldn’t decide if I wanted to roll my eyes or throw up my hands and all of the paper lyrics in them and let them flutter to the floor as I walked off.

      We are *still* trying to get something going with something that isn’t accompanied by only the piano and the organ.

      1. Adlib*

        Oh man, I’m pretty sure my church split over music. (Our budget stopped allowing a 7 member touring band.) That can be hard, but keep at it! I love the Lecrae reference!

      2. BenAdminGeek*

        We still have folks complain about how if we just taught hymnody to the middle schoolers, they’d learn to love the old hymns.

        My father’s take is that everyone is particularly drawn to the style of music from when they came to faith, so it feels “wrong” to shift from that. It feels like a step away from the true faith to them, even though it’s not. I like that explanation as it helps me understand why people complain, and makes me less likely to knock people down and shout at them in the sanctuary (my faith tradition is opposed to abusing the elderly, YMMV).

        1. Amadeo*

          LOL, I suppose that depends on the individual much like most things. This is the church I grew up in, was baptized in, etc, etc. So I know all of the song leader’s favorites by heart (we are very tiny, there is no worship committee of any sort, there’s about 30 people on any given Sunday that come to church) and don’t need the hymnal. They are very happy in their little, compact comfort zones, thankyewverymuch.

          But I prefer the modern worship stuff. The preference might have even developed marginally out of spite. It’s different, it’s new (sing unto Me a new song), and in some cases far less challenging in vocal range than older stuff, so if you sing bad, like me, you can at least sing bad within your range, LOL.

      3. Merci Dee*

        Speaking of contemporary worship songs . . . .

        Most surprised I’ve ever been was a couple of years ago when my dad agreed to a one-year appointment for a two-church charge in the local United Methodist conference. He’d retired the year before, but the pastor normally appointed to the charge was in a massive auto wreck and couldn’t come back for months. So dad agreed to fill the pulpits for the year.

        One of the churches was small. Built in the 1830s, little traditional white Methodist church. The building was so narrow that the two rows of pews couldn’t be positioned just straight across — they had to angle them on either side of the aisle so that there actually =was= room for an aisle. I think there were approximately 50 or 60 people there each week, so they pretty much packed out the house. And most of the congregation was leaning toward the elderly side.

        Walked in the church with Mom and Dad on the first Sunday he was supposed to preach there, and was pleasantly surprised to find them firing up a laptop and getting everything ready with the projector. And then I was even more surprised when about half of the music was contemporary praise choruses and hymns that they had lined up from Youtube for the service. I didn’t know a few of them, but I quickly picked them up.

        Like I said, really surprised me that a tiny Methodist church that was, quite literally, out in the middle of nowhere, was set up for such an integrated service. But I’m glad they were. That was the first time that I’d heard the Phillips, Craig, and Dean version of Revelation Song, and I fell in love with it. Every time I hear it now, I’ve got some serious ugly crying going on.

    13. LKW*

      Buying new haggadahs for Passover will throw a family into a tizzy. “Stuff is missing! The songs are different! But the descriptions of the four kids are different!”

      1. Batshua*

        THEY TOOK OUT RABBI JOSE!

        (The new ones say Rabbi Yose, and I am deeply DEEPLY sad about this.)

    14. JoAnna*

      There was allegedly a Lutheran church in my home state (North Dakota) that split in two over the color of the hymnals. From what I was told, the Greenies won out and the Red Brigade formed their own denomination as a result.

    15. Sally*

      Ha! I also grew up ELCA, but with the green book (too young for the red book), but all the Olds constantly complained about how superior the arrangements in the red book were, and these poor children today with their awful green book who will never know any better…

    16. BenAdminGeek*

      Our denomination’s local camp very wisely has “hymn sings” for older folks using the old hymals. Old people love it, no one else has to attend.

  21. Bloo*

    My coworker spent three hours SOBBING at work the day they announced we would be starting our work day a half hour later.

    2. anon for now*

      I can think of a lot of reasons a shift in timing would be very upsetting (someone takes public transit and because of timing shifts their inbound/outbound commute will take a lot longer; current childcare provider isn’t an option later into the afternoon/evening, starting work later means driving during the peak of rush hour when before it didn’t) but sobbing for 3 hours does seem out of proportion.

      1. VermiciousKnit*

        Could it possibly have meant that they suddenly couldn’t participate in something they did before that meant a lot to them? Kid’s routine, a class or hobby, a social gathering, a club? It seems like there must have been something else behind this one that could be a bigger deal than anyone could know.

        1. Reader*

          Simply a necessary change in childcare (or an inability to work their second job) could mean a huge financial loss that they may not be able to afford- I think that’s enough reason to sob for 3 hours, because then there’s the consideration of whether they need to quit this job and either way they’ll be taking a huge financial hit.

    3. Jennifer*

      Was it also then ending a half hour later? Does she have kids or other care commitments? Because while 3 hours of sobbing is excessive, if my office announced we all had to stay half an hour later than I currently do, it would be really difficult for me because daycare isn’t stretching their hours beyond 6 pm and I’d have to look into hiring additional help that would be a big budget hit and logistical stressor.

      1. Natalie*

        I mean, that’s true of all of the stories here – the changes might be genuinely irking for some reason or another, but the point of the tale is the ludicrous overreaction.

        1. Lissa*

          I was starting to think the point was explaining to other people why they would have also hated whatever change was being implemented in their story. ;)

    4. Matilda*

      In fairness, if the work day would then be extended a half hour on the other end that could cause conflicts for people (from regular evening plans to daycare pickup). I have a decent commute and leaving a half hour later for me means I’m late (and then get charged more) picking up my kid from daycare. Sobbing for 3 hours though, not necessarily the best and/or most productive response.

    5. Blue Anne*

      Wow.

      I think I probably sobbed for about three hours when I realized I was going to be deported.

      Geez.

    6. Noah*

      Perhaps because she was going to find a new job because now she couldn’t get to her kid’s school in time to pick him up.

          1. Reader*

            Thirded. I don’t think sobbing for 3 hours is that much of an overreaction when we factor in how unaffordable child care can be in the US. Plenty of families pay more for child care than one parent’s income.

    7. Sarah G*

      Huh. This makes me think of a recent misunderstanding/misperception at work, when I walked out of the room in tears during a training, because my friend had just asked me how my aunt with cancer was doing, and I had just the day before found out that what we’d thought was stage 2 operable cancer was now stage 4 inoperable. So when my friend asked me, I broke down in tears, and then left the room to collect myself. A few weeks later, when another co-worker who’d seen this found out the reason I’d been upset, she said she was glad I cleared that up because she’d thought I was upset about the spider suspended in the air right next to me, which our trainer had just pointed out. SO, I’m wondering if the timing of the sobbing could have been a coincidence, like my crying that was allegedly related to a spider?

  22. GOG11*

    In a former department and building (at current employer), there was a little tower window at the top of the building with a light in it. In response to a change so inconsequential I can’t even remember what it was, she flipped on the light – during the day (gasp!) – in a vengeful attempt to increase employer’s electric bill. This doesn’t seem too over the top until you factor in her giving me a wide eyed, dramatic look before turning on her heel and marching back to her office after the deed was done.

    1. Matilda Jefferies*

      Ha, that was teenage me! I can’t remember now what the issue was, but I clearly remember being SO MAD at my parents that I went stomping around the house turning on all the lights. Guess I really showed them, lol!

    2. GOG11*

      I got distracted in the middle of typing up. “She” is a former, overly-dramatic coworker.

      She would also tell me completely-not-egregious-things and then repeat them when I didn’t react with a look of horror or a gasp or an “oh my god!” because she assumed I hadn’t heard. I finally just started manufacturing dramatic responses so she would go away because not emoting meant I got to hear the same thing over several times with different enunciation.
      “Can you believe Susan left a spoon in the sink?!”
      “Can you believe Susan left a spoon. In the sink?!”
      “I’m telling you that Susan left her spoon in the sink. Her dirty spoon. In the sink. UNWASHED!”

      1. Nolan*

        Whenever a drama llama asks me a question like that I just shrug and confirm that I can, in fact, believe it.

        The deflated response that yields nourishes my soul.

      2. Seinfeld Fan*

        I read these complaints in the voice of George Costanza. “UNWASHED, Jerry!”

    3. Language Student*

      This reminds me of a thing my partner did just at the end of our honeymoon phase in high school. I was… not good at cleaning, and would often leave empty cans of diet coke on her bedside table when I stayed over. In protest, she left *her* empty can of diet coke on *my* bedside table the next time she stayed at mine. Me being oblivious, didn’t notice for about three days and when I did, just thought “aww, [girlfriend] used that!” because I’m sappy. She thought it was the best revenge ever and that it was super dramatic. I laughed when I found out it was meant to be revenge.
      We’ve since learned to communicate much more effectively, but I still giggle when I think about it.

  23. Snarkus Aurelius*

    A friend of mine worked at a large law firm. All the attorneys were supposed to get new chairs. The delivery guy literally went down the hall with each new chair, pulled the old one out, and rolled the new one in. One attorney got very upset because she’s more senior but the junior attorneys got their chairs first. As in, the lower level lawyers had their new chairs a whopping 5-10 minutes longer than she did.

    On a similar note, this woman’s office neighbor got a new desk. The delivery guy wasn’t even done moving it in when she was right there with a tape measure to make sure the desk wasn’t bigger than hers. (It was by two inches.)

    If I were her boss, I’d wonder if she didn’t have enough to do.

    2. Snarkus Aurelius*

      I forgot one awesome detail: all of this office furniture moving took place after work. So those junior attorneys weren’t even around to enjoy their new chairs for those precious, exclusive minutes.

      3. Noah*

        What kind of law firm is this where junior attorneys weren’t there in the evening??

    3. Jay*

      My husband worked for a small university. He directed a grant-funded institute and the grant included money for office furniture. He likes a big desk, and he had people coming in from the community for meetings, and it was a large office, so he ordered the biggest desk in the catalog.

      The purchasing officer informed him he wasn’t allowed to have that desk. Remember, the university was not paying for the desk – the grant was paying, and that money had to be used for furniture. He asked why, and she said he wasn’t high enough rank for a desk that size. “It’s the policy.” He reviewed the faculty handbook and told her there was no such policy. “It’s an unwritten policy.” In the end (which took three months) he had to get a letter in writing from the provost that he was allowed to use his grant money to buy the big desk.

      1. Anne (with an "e")*

        That is hilarious. It also reminds me of Raj’s Brobdingnagian desk.

      2. ggg*

        I got in trouble for asking for a wooden credenza when I was only a level 2 staffer. Wooden furniture is restricted to level 3 and above. (Note that this is not nice wooden furniture; this is stuff that has been kicking around since 1960 or so.) So I was told by an imperious secretary, whose boss was a level *4*.

        A week later, Imperious Secretary oh-so-graciously gave me her beat up credenza sized metal filing cabinets, and replaced them with wooden furniture, because she could. At the beginning of this I really just wanted something to put my papers in, but after that, I was kind of mad.

      3. Meredith*

        Grant projects at my state university still have to abide by university purchasing rules. It pisses people off to no end (and rightly so) that they have to used our terrible university-mandated travel booking software when they can find cheaper flights online, which wastes their grant funds. Super fun.

  24. Lurking Tom*

    My former employer moved us into a new, bigger office because we outgrew the one we were in. One person did not like where her cube was located, so she built herself a weird little hovel out of boxes & sheets in a more desirable location (I guess?). I think it got shut down pretty quickly, but it was funny that it happened at all!

    1. Leatherwings*

      Office Fort! That’s amazing. I would stop by the fort everyday just to marvel at a grown person building a fort.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        I would love to have an office fort, with a roof. The light over my cube was bothering me, and I asked about unscrewing one bulb–nope. Well then can we get IKEA leaves? Nope. So whenever it would bug me, I just opened my biggest umbrella, hooked it over my monitor and off the side of my cube, and worked under that.

      2. Nic*

        At one of my OldJobs (customer service for a video game company) we shared desks with opposite shifts, and each space had about 3.5 feet and a wall that might go over your head and past your chair when you were sitting at the desk.

        One teammate decided to make a box-castle with his, and his deskmate decided to help. They had it reaching almost to the ceiling, with a dragon and all sorts of other cool stuff. Action figures were hanging out on it.

        They eventually had to take it down due to being a fire hazard.

    2. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      Office hovel. We’re done here, pack it up.

    3. Lily in NYC*

      What!! I love this so much. We had a woman who tried to make herself a “door” to her cubicle with a tension rod and a curtain. It was a long time ago but I don’t think anyone made her take it down. It would never be allowed now but we were more casual back then.

      1. Totally Serious*

        I used to have a cubicle smack in the middle of a larger, open office space. The entry of my cubicle was near the door of the executive conference room, so all of the upper-level staff would congregate right around my work space chatting and doing their hallway conversations and what-have-you while waiting for meetings to start. I mentioned this to my boss, saying it could get very loud and distracting, but that I didn’t feel I had the standing to say anything to any of these executives. She did have the standing to say something to them, but instead of doing that she brought in a tension rod and curtain for my cube. It (obviously) did nothing to resolve the problem, required anyone that actually needed to speak to me to part the curtains and/or duck to step in to my space, and also made me look like the office weirdo. I left it up for a couple of days because I didn’t know if it would cause tension for me to take it down but it made me deeply uncomfortable.

        1. Lily in NYC*

          I guess it was nice of her to try but using fabric as noise control is silly.

            1. Totally Serious*

              There was a lot of “Oh, are you decorating” kinds of comments (while they were hunched over in the doorway). In retrospect it’s kind of funny but I didn’t think so at the time.

      1. WKRP Fan*

        Watched an admin tape the floor near her cube once to keep people from looking over her shoulder when approaching her. She was gone shortly after.

        Would not have believed it had I not walked up as it was happening. She used yellow duct tape. With a broken line to indicate where to enter her cube.

  25. Anon today...and tomorrow*

    Our break room has a giant whiteboard calendar in it. Last year the company sent us a new one and asked us to start using it at the first of this year. Not really sure why…the other was perfectly usable and there was no differing info on it, but hey, whatever! The new calendar is slightly smaller than the previous one – as in the previous calendar was 36X48 inches and the new one is 32X44 inches. The woman who updates this calendar was FURIOUS about this change. Oh the campaign this woman has waged to get the old calendar back – she sends emails, complains to every single employee at least once a day, has started tours of our branch in the break room (she points to the board and announces “this is the piece of crap calendar they expect us to use”), and holds that fury in her heart. Recently a few big wigs in the company were visiting and she started her tour as usual and then she paused as if expecting them to agree with her. They didn’t, she sighed heavily and moved on with her tour. Before they left she made sure to send them back to the home office with a list outlining why the new calendar sucks. You know they just crumpled that crap up into a ball the second they got into the car. LOL!

    3. JamToday*

      For some reason I have enormous sympathy for this woman, probably because of the (glorious) phrase “holds that fury in her heart”. I know I have held fury in my heart over things that other people think are totally inconsequential because that thing — inconsequential as it truly is — is the thing that is One More Thing that is in my pile of crummy things that I have to deal with. Like, I can deal with all this other crummy stuff. Here I am, look at me dealing with it just fine but MY GOD you just gave me *another TOTALLY UNNECESSARY thing that I have to deal with. Can I just have One Thing that I’m used to, that works, just fine, that provides some level of consistency and reliability in my life? Please?

      Anyway, that’s my sympathy for this poor woman. She needs a victory, however small, and she’s not getting it. I feel bad for her on that account.

    4. Jady*

      I wonder if she had the ability to ninja-change it back, would anyone even notice or care?

      I’d try that in her shoes!

  26. Stephanie (HR Manager)*

    The COOKIE!

    We had fresh cookies at an employee engagement event. The cookies were just the treat we had along with the actual activity. The event lasted the full-time advertised, and at the end, we brought the extra cookies to a department that can’t usually break away and gets a lot of community members (our usual place to put extra food.)

    One employee showed up over an hour later, and threw a screaming fit in the hallway (in front of someone I was trying to hire) that the cookies were gone (they weren’t, they were down the hall) and that the extras weren’t brought to her department instead (her department was less acute and can generally get away more easily or send someone down to bring them back for everyone else.) The fact that she could walk down the hall to get a cookie didn’t matter. The fact that she could buy a cookie at any time for .30 in the cafeteria didn’t matter either. Someone in my department got up and got her two cookies on a napkin, and she refused them. She got her department director and the HR Director involved, and the extra treats from the next event went to her department. (We sure greased that squeaky wheel.)

    But, after a little saving-face, the employee I was trying to hire did come aboard. Thank goodness!

    1. Turtlewings*

      This is the second or third cookie-related insanity so far, and I just have to say, I now feel a little less shamefaced about getting seconds whenever work-treats are provided. At least I’ve never thrown a screaming tantrum about it!

    2. Anon For This*

      The hysteria around food always cracks me up.

      I work for an organization that offers professional development programming and the number one meltdown we have from attendee’s is related to food. The food is too expensive. There isn’t enough food. Why are we only providing baked goods? The baked goods aren’t soft enough, chewy enough, etc.? How dare we not make coffee available at all times and on demand. I’ve had someone scream at me in a hallway because we ran out of hard boiled eggs (and this person was late), and we needed to plan better because she needed protein to function.

      1. NP Admin*

        I also do pd programming frequently in my job and you are so right. No matter what you do, people will complain about the food. God forbid you make someone wait 10 minutes while a new pot of coffee is brewed.
        When we solicit feedback on pd sessions maybe half of it is about the actual content of the course and the rest is about the food.

        1. RabbitRabbit*

          I have to admit I just submitted a review for a conference (which my company paid a significant amount for) and that was about right. Half was “half of the presenters sounded like they were shilling for their companies but claimed they had no conflicts to declare” and the other half was “breakfast was just pastries, where’s the fruit, lunch had just some green salad for vegetarians.” Next time I’m bringing my own food.

          1. NP Admin*

            I mean, I am totally with you on the salad thing :) As a vegetarian I always make sure the events I coordinate offer substantial vegetarian options…it seriously isn’t that hard!

        2. Ally A*

          Half the evaluations are always “get better food” and half are “I loved the food!” Also, please don’t have pastries for the continental type breakfast, they’re not healthy. So we add fruit and yogurt and nobody eats it, but you better believe all those muffins are gone in a heartbeat.

    3. Hannah*

      Wow. Almost the exact same scenario played out when I was at the DMV a few years ago. I was just trying to get a new ID, and the person who was supposed to be helping me was having a full on tantrum that no one had brought her a cookie from a different floor. She kept turning back to me to start working again and then turning back around to yell at her co-workers about the cookies. It was incredible.

      1. Drew*

        “Maybe if you were more focused on helping people, you’d get a damn cookie.”

        Things I Wouldn’t Dare Say for $600, Alex…

    4. Dweali*

      And no one tripped when they were delivering the goodies….more power..erhm I mean, less clutzy than I :-)

    5. Sunshine*

      Those are the stories that make me want to work in HR when I grow up. I swear, the moment someone came to me to complain about cookies….

  27. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

    Two of my wife’s coworkers hate each other and often physically fight, sometimes to the point of injury.

    She also recently got a new temporary coworker, who is fine, but very shy. Still, every evening he steals some of one of the original coworker’s lunches! He’s very sneaky, but it’s a small office. I think he is upset that he has to keep his office door closed most of the time recently instead of wandering around. He hates change.

    …She works from home. They are cats.

    2. the gold digger*

      Does that co-worker make a beeline for her computer every time she steps away from it so she can sit on the keyboard (and reconfigure the system in the process)?

      Does the (very noisy) co-worker demand attention every time your wife is in a meeting?

      1. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

        Yes! The most extroverted coworker spoke LOUDLY during a few conference calls, has knocked her phone headset off during a call, and likes to sit ON her as she works.

        1. Liz in a Library*

          And see, I thought my furry colleague was the only one who could physically pull my headset off. Amazing!

          1. wifeofovercaffeinatedandqueer*

            My headset is just looped around the one ear. If he tries he can get it off very easily.

            Our first foster cat used to cry if I wasn’t holding him. I had to rig a scarf to keep him snuggled up to me so I could do my job.

            1. Junior Dev*

              This is the most amazing thing I have read in a long time. The scarf cat, I mean.

          2. Hlyssande*

            Mine tries to chew on the mic while I’m wearing it. Very adorable, yet distracting.

        2. Anonymouse for this*

          Lol – I just had to record a 5 min presentation for a college assignment. The cat has ignored me all morning but no sooner had I gone into the bedroom, put my headset and mic on and started recording than she came and sat at my feet yowling at me. Ended up having to close the bedroom door and then go into the bathroom with that door closed to finish the recording.

      2. wifeofovercaffeinatedandqueer*

        My noisiest coworker will stand in my line of sight if I’m not paying attention to him. I have a laptop docking station and two monitors, so if he’s in my line of sight I can’t see 50% of my work screens. You can imagine the problems this creates when I am trying to talk to one of my customers. or my boss or coworkers, for that matter. He tried to eat my phone headset, disconnected calls with customers, and has knocked all of my equipment off the desk at least once.

        Right now he was exiled to the other room for getting in a slap fight under the door while I was in a conference call with my whole team and our boss’ boss.

        I am eternally grateful that our headsets will mute automatically because of his antics. I am also grateful that my supervisors see this as funny rather than irritating and haven’t revoked my remote work setup.

    4. Anonyforthis*

      I love it! ;) I can also see this occurring in an actual workplace with *shudder* human beings!

    5. Another bureaucrat*

      Ha. I seriously had to read that a few times out of confusion before I saw the second paragraph…..

    6. Mononymous*

      Ha, yes! And let me guess, if she’s trying to take notes, read papers, etc., the only possible place for the coworkers to sit is directly ON her materials. Also pens, drinking glasses and any other random objects must be carefully pushed off onto the floor at the first opportunity.

      2. overcaffeinatedandqueer*

        No, they drink from her glasses and bowls! Less mess, but more gross for sure.

      3. wifeofovercaffeinatedandqueer*

        He is guilty of the sitting part of this. Sitting on paper is his second favorite place. Even after getting him his own place to sit, even.

    7. Leslie Knope*

      Oh my goodness. And here I was with my mouth open mid-snack thinking, “COWORKERS PHSYICALLY FIGHTING?? THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD.” And then I finish reading the post! Haha. I just snorted at my desk. Classic!!

  28. Catalyst*

    This wasn’t a tantrum per se, but definitely an overreaction.
    I started at a new company last summer and during my training I was asked to cover off some tasks for someone in AP who was going on vacation (I will note that I am her boss to put this into some perspective), which was no problem, I wasn’t fully trained, so why not help someone out. While she was showing me what she does she used the snip tool to take a screen grab of something to put in an email and went to the top of the snip tool -Edit – Copy, went to her email and file – paste. I pointed out to her that as soon as you use the snip tool to take a screen grab you can just go to the other place and paste it, you don’t have to copy it, that is an automatic thing. I was trying to save her some time (she had to do this about 50 times a day). She went to my boss and told her that I was trying to change processes and I hadn’t been there long enough to be sticking my nose in how they do things. I couldn’t believe it when my boss then legitimately had a conversation with me about it and told me that this person is basically a ‘handle with care’ because she hates any sort of change. Everyone tiptoes around her because she’s had a ‘hard’ life (that is a whole other story).

    1. Kimberly R*

      I didn’t know that! You just taught me something new! Unlike your coworker, I will use this knowledge so thanks.

      2. Jessica*

        Man, I am SUCH a fan of the snipping tool, and yet I did not know this!! I had to run to my computer and try it for myself, and it totally worked! Thanks, Catalyst! You’re well named, because you just caused a lot of efficiency improvement and time-saving. Sorry none of it happened in your own workplace.

    2. JeanB in NC*

      One of my strong points is figuring out efficiencies in processes, and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve asked someone who’d been at a job for a while “can’t we just do this instead – it’ll save 2 steps” and the person will just get totally irate that I was telling them how to do their job. I mean, these were things like getting the window to open full page instead of taking the extra step of opening the window then hitting the expand button.

      2. Ramona Flowers*

        You’ve just reminded me: several people were not happy when I pointed out that instead of installing the fiddly add-on they’d been using and using multiple steps to take and save full screenshots (ie the whole of a scrolling page and not just the bit you can see at one time) in Firefox you can just

        1. hit shift+F2
        2. type the following: screenshot –fullpage

        which results in a full-page screenshot being taken and saved in your downloads folder. In two seconds. But the add-on does it! But that involves change!

        2. leukothea*

          WHAT!!! You have changed my life! I’ve been taking multiple screenshots and attempting to stitch them back together by pasting them into Word without any spacing in between — which NEVER works. :( This will save me so much time and anguish! Thank you! :)

      3. anna green*

        Wait, how do you get the window to open full page? I don’t think I know that…

    4. Becca*

      Holy cow, I didn’t know this tip about the snipping tool and now I will always use it!! I was doing it like your AP person!

      1. Jessica*

        Heh heh, I’ve always saved the image, then inserted it into the email. Definitely takes longer!

    6. Tabby Baltimore*

      I use this tool almost daily, and screen-grab w/the mouse, but had always done the extra CTRL-C step before moving to the destination document and CTRL-V’ing it in. No more! Catalyst, you can change my process any time you want. Thank you!

    7. Noah*

      In most snipping tools this is an option, but it is defaulted to on. So if anybody else tries this and it doesn’t work, check to see that “automatically place snips in clipboard” (or whatever) is checked.

    8. The OG Anonsie*

      Oh my god, when someone was training me a project to me at my old job right after I started there, something like this happened.

      The dude training me wasn’t giving me a lot of specific information so I would ask questions about anywhere there was a hole in the process where I didn’t know what to do. Along the lines of, “So after you check with X Team, do you update the documentation or do you check with Y Team for consensus first, or how does that work?”

      He would answer the questions normally, but after like two weeks my boss called me into his office and I got a very stern talking to about how this person was a professional and he knew what I was doing I needed to follow the processes he had developed. And yes yes, I am also a professional with opinions, but I needed to respect Coworker’s established steps and follow them because that’s how it works. If I don’t do this, my job will be at stake, so I better not deviate from the workflow again or else. I had no idea what was going on and had to ask repeatedly what spurred this before it came out that Coworker had complained that my questions asking for specific steps were actually me trying to undermine his workflow and saying that I had better ideas and wouldn’t do what he told me and he was a big stupid stupid-head, neener neener boo boo.

      So I explained what kinds of questions I was asking (and gave examples) thinking that would clear it up, right? Alas, my boss felt that Coworker’s perception of these questions was accurate and told me to stop asking them regardless of my intent because it was… Hurting Coworker’s feelings, I guess? He literally told me to stop asking questions of any kind or I would be in serious trouble. Things only went downhill from there. I bailed out harder than I’ve ever bailed out of any job before in a matter of months. It felt like I was taking crazy pills all the time.

      1. Ramona Flowers*

        Well, really, how dare you ask for details of the process so you can follow it? Dear goodness that sounds horrendous!

        1. The OG Anonsie*

          The place was like a parody of a bad office. I left after a couple months, and in those couple months we had lost 20% or so of the staff already by the time I left with murmurs from others who had one foot out the door.

  29. Chicken Fishing*

    My organization opted to implement the new minimum pay for exempt staff even though it did not become law. This amounted to a 15-20% raise for an entire group of employees (all with the same title and responsibilities). The maximum raise anyone receives from their annual review is 5% so this was a significant bump compared to what they would have otherwise received. People were furious! Because this meant they all were being paid the same amount regardless of length of employment. Three people quit over this.

    2. Turtlewings*

      What must it be like, to feel like your own comfort/success only counts if someone else is suffering?

      1. Amy the Rev*

        I know, right? Makes me sad to think that this has been a phenomenon we’ve been aware of since at least the first century (it’s a story in one of the main near-eastern texts to come out of that era: the parable of the workers in the field/vineyard), and we’re nowhere nearer to getting past it

        1. TootsNYC*

          I know that story–I think of it often, especially lately. I feel it’s the one people have forgotten most.

          And this sort of reaction always reminds me of the people who get SO pissed off over the parking spaces at the grocery store that are labeled “Reserved for mothers with small children.”

          I’m always like, “OK, a kindness to someone else means people are taking things away from you?”

          Not to mention: Seriously–you wouldn’t get that spot anyway, someone else would have taken it, and you’d only be ONE parking space closer.

          1. Taylor Swift*

            Maybe they’re really mad at how society values motherhood over any other possible way of life for women and also about how they assume only women are going to have small children with them and the parking spot is the visible reminder that breaks the camel’s back.

            1. KellyK*

              Like, those are valid things to be mad about, but griping about a business doing something nice for customers who have rugrats to herd is still petty. You’re absolutely right about the assumption that it’s women, though—I’m making a mental note to politely suggest that any business I use that does this change the wording to “People with small children.”

          2. Marillenbaum*

            My sister parked in the “Expectant Mothers” spot at her local grocery store and got yelled at by some lady for not looking “pregnant enough”. She was six months and wearing a poncho.

            1. Zombii*

              “Expectant mothers” spots are such a weird grey area. One of my coworkers said she only used them after she was pregnant for a while and fatigued all the time and really appreciated the closer spot, another coworker parked in one when she went into the store to buy a pregnancy test along with all her other regular groceries (but don’t worry guys: the test was positive so she totally counted!).

    3. the gold digger*

      Were new, less-experienced people now being paid the same as more experienced (and in theory, more productive and valuable) employees? Or did everyone get a 15% raise? Because I can see how that would bother the more experienced employees. There should be a pay premium for productivity.

      1. Jesmlet*

        Yeah if this is what happened I would be a tiny bit irritated. Not to the point where I’d quit because getting a 15% raise sounds great, but if I’ve been around longer and am most likely producing at a higher quality/quantity, I’d be upset that my value was suddenly leveled with more junior employees.

      2. my two cents*

        I’d read this as more of a salary “correction” the company did – they raised the pay for all people in one group at the same rate. The tenured employees became unreasonably upset that this correction wasn’t also tiered to match performance…but it wasn’t a merit-based raise anyway.

        1. Jesmlet*

          The reason why I assumed otherwise was because it said 15-20%. To me that implies that the ones who were more junior got a 20% raise and the senior ones got a 15% raise which got them all to the same hourly rate.

      3. Chicken Fishing*

        Yes, they all now make the same amount (15% increase for the longest term employees, 20% for the newest) and I do understand them feeling some disappointment. They are all equally productive, but some are more effective than others (although not necessarily based on who he been here the longest) and normally I would want their salaries to reflect that, absolutely. It was just a weird overreaction especially since none of them have been working here more than 5 years and the three who quit were not the longest term employees. We were very transparent about what was happening because we thought that was important, and I still think that was the right thing. We knew they might not be thrilled, but we expected that the large increase in their paychecks would mitigate that. We just didn’t see that reaction coming!

        1. Em Too*

          My company messed up its pay rise rules one year and a small number of people (including me) leapfrogged the next cohort up. Oops. I got the job of figuring out how it had happened, and there was minor grumbling but no-one *quit* or got anywhere close.

        2. The OG Anonsie*

          I wonder if the knowledge that the whole scale had been underpaid before made a lot of people go out to see what better deal they could get somewhere else. So rather than “how dare you adjust everyone’s salaries, I quit” it’s “oh hey, you’ve been underpaying us and I can make more somewhere else, peace out.”

    4. Naomi*

      Sign that human nature never really changes: this is literally the exact plot of a Biblical parable. (Matthew 20:1-16)

    5. LiveAndLetDie*

      I guess they looked at it as “well so-and-so got a higher raise than me” and not “woohoo, I got a raise!” I can understand how someone might think it’s unfair if everyone got bumped to $15/hr when some of them started at 10 and others at 13.

      Even still, you got a freaking raise, why would you quit over a raise? It’s maddening.

      1. Pebbles*

        Okay, so I did just this many years ago when I was working fast-food. I was earning $4.75 an hour after 1.5 years and just before my review I learned that one of my brand new coworkers was earning $5 an hour. Over that 1.5 years I learned how to work most areas including closing, was reliable and taking on other shifts when people called out sick, etc. So at my review I was offered a $.20 raise, to bring my hourly total to $4.95. I quit over a $.05 difference because 1) I could theoretically get rehired and get a better raise, 2) my manager either wasn’t willing or able to increase my raise $.05, and 3) pride.

        2. Nic*

          Something similar happened at OldJob and we lost a handful of folks. People who had been there for ages were making various amounts based on yearly and merit increases, but had started at 15, and new people were being brought on at 18. When I was brought on I was making more than someone who had 17 years seniority.

          If I was that person, I would have been upset, and rightly so. That job gave horrible raises (2% was REALLY good), so there was no way to catch up.

    6. Sibley*

      Good riddance. Someone else will be happy to have that job, which they clearly didn’t want.

      1. Lurks@Work*

        I’m late to the party, I know, but I wonder how those three who quit would justify doing so in the next job interview.
        “Tell me why you left your last job.”
        “I found out that other employees were getting paid a living wage and it made me VERY ANGRY.”

    7. Youth Services Librarian*

      Yeah, I don’t get that. We ended up doing this (although 15% I wish! It was more like 1.5% and the most we get from raises is 2%) and my director was very worried that I would be upset that my one colleague would be paid the same as me. I….didn’t care. I mean, yeah, I’ve been here a lot longer, but our job responsibilities are comparable. I really don’t care.

    8. Noah*

      “It’s not about how much money I have. It’s about how much more I have than my coworkers.”

      Oy.

    9. The Rat-Catcher*

      People in the same role doing the same job are paid the same amount?! The humanity!

  30. Justme*

    I work for a University and we’re changing the parking situation. Instead of sticky tags of a certain color to designate where we are allowed to park, we’re moving to a robotic camera system that will read license plates.

    People are already freaking the bleep out and it won’t take effect until FY2018.

    1. Rincat*

      We did that last year. I love the new system since I don’t have to hassle with stickers, and I can add up to 3 vehicles to my “badge.” And yes, people FREAKED OUT. They really loved those stickers.

      1. Justme*

        Last year, the sticker was in the shape of the state. It was pretty cool. But they are otherwise so annoying.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          We got stickers in the shape of the state when I worked for a State regulatory agency.

          I work in….Colorado.

          The effect was somewhat lost.

          1. Justme*

            Ours were Colorado-shaped (square) the year before. Stickers the shape of Arkansas are pretty cool though.

            1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

              It was especially great because they actually made a big deal out of it. “Our stickers this year are in the shape of Colorado! Show your Colorado pride, people!”

              I personally think Colorado is a particularly nicely-proportioned rectangle, but….yeah, it’s a rectangle.

          3. Master Bean Counter*

            I’m laughing so hard at this.
            I’m wondering if somebody ordered the stickers and just told people they were the shape of the state or if they paid extra to get the stickers the shape of the state.

            1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

              Nope, they legit paid extra. It was the exact ratio of Colorado’s borders.

      2. JanetM*

        What if you need to add a one-time-use plate (e.g., your car is in the shop and you have a loaner or a rental)? Can you take it back off your “badge,” or does it forever count against your limit? I’m not trying to be snarky; I’m honestly just curious.

    2. fposte*

      We did this. And somehow I missed the memo, so I got pretty indignant about all the unauthorized people parking in the garage.

    3. Taylor Swift*

      I don’t get the people who stick years and years worth of parking stickers next to each other, rather than take the outdated ones off. It seems pretty lame to me to brag about how long you’ve been parking somewhere.

      1. VermiciousKnit*

        I do that with our state park stickers, but it’s just because they’re really pretty and every year is a new design.

      2. 2horseygirls*

        Welcome to almost every resident in the city of Chicago! I legit thought it was exclusive to the Windy City.

    4. Chaordic One*

      I liked those stickers. I applied mine to a clear sheet of acetate and then cut the sticker out and place it in the rear window. I could then easily transfer the sticker from car to car, as I had several different cars at the time. Technically, it was cheating, but I was only parking one car on campus at the time. (And besides, they issued a whole lot more parking permits than there were actual parking places.)

  31. Important Moi*

    My organization used Lotus and WordPerfect for far too long. When it was announced that Microsoft Office Suite would be put on everyone’s computer, several people went to their managers to announce the would neither use or learn it. They actually got away with that for a year.

    1. M*

      “I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.” – Lucille Bluth

      (I dunno, it just made me think of that, lol).

    2. PB*

      A year isn’t so bad. I have coworkers who have refused to learn to use “new” industry-specific software since the 90s.

      1. Nea*

        I knew a guy like that too. He’s got a favorite word processing software and for decades he takes everything he’s given, transfers it into his pet program, does the work, and then exports it back into the original format.

        His boss is impressed by this, mostly because he published a book about his favorite software and that makes him An Author and therefore an expert.

      2. k*

        I used to work for a nationwide company that has thousands of local offices around the country; it’s a big name in the industry. To this day, half of their client records and process are on a DOS based system. There is a second, modern system that they’re slowly transitioning to, but every time they move a function over people complain or take so long to figure it out that is causes serious problems. They’ve been transitioning systems for over 10 years.

        1. Nolan*

          I worked for a national wireless carrier, and when I started 10 years ago, they had a DOS based system, and a web based system they were transitioning to. In training we were told we’d never need it, and they’d announce they were phasing it out once or twice a year, but I had access to it for almost 5 years. The only reason I lost access was that I’d accidentally locked myself out by entering an old password too many times, and figured that nobody at corporate would actually be willing to unlock my account at that point.

          My partner currently works for a large beverage company and they STILL use one of those DOS systems.

          1. Nic*

            I had a job like this. In training they said “You’ll never need to use this” and didn’t even create accounts for us. First day out of training, guess what everyone in the class needed to use?

        2. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

          Oh my god, OldJob’s central piece of software that everything else pulled data from was a DOS program. Everyone in the company pretty much lived in fear that it would one day collapse, because if it did, everything would be gone — but trying to shift us over to something newer and less… well, DOS-y kept getting met with howls of “but what if it doesn’t immediately work??? We’ll lose e v e r y t h i n g“

        3. nonegiven*

          I used to use Enable, office suite for DOS. Word processor, spreadsheet and database.

    3. LiveAndLetDie*

      Ha! My dad is STILL upset his company stopped using Lotus. He loved it so much.

      2. JeanB in NC*

        I loved Lotus also. When I had to switch to Excel and had to start using the mouse, I started having problems with my hand that I had never had before. (And I know there are keyboard shortcuts in Excel but I just never got used to using them other than just a few.)

      3. TootsNYC*

        I miss XyWrite. I had expertise in it that has no value now.

        And there are some functionalities that would be REALLY useful (I miss the save-get function, which let you save any text string on almost any key using very simple steps).

        1. This Daydreamer*

          You can do something very similar to that with Word. Just have it autocorrect two or three letters to whatever long phrase you like.

          1. Zombii*

            That’s a bit overly complicated in a mental cost/benefit, unless the text string is something you’ll be using a lot. Having multiple screens on the clipboard is super useful when you need it (moving multiple blocks of text around, or just wanting to copy all the things before swapping to another document and pasting them). :)

            1. Nic*

              I agree about multiple clipboards being useful. ClipX is a keyboard manager that sounds like it does something quite similar.

            2. KellyK*

              I find it mostly useful for acronyms, which have to be spelled out on first use. I have a huge list of custom auto-correct entries that change XYZ* to Xtraordinary Yellow Zippers (XYZ). In that case, it saves not only the typing but also having to double check whether the X stands for Xtraordinary or Xtensible or Xceptional.

    4. Kathleen Adams*

      We have one person (we had two until one of them retired a few months ago) who clings to WordPerfect as though it were the only the only life raft and she an abandoned mariner afloat in the North Sea. The rest of us all use MSWord, like regular people, but she’s executive assistant to the president and people always tiptoe around her for some reason, and so she gets away with it. But I do enjoy sending her documents written and formatted in MSWord. Like a regular person.

      1. ggg*

        Imagine, if you will, someone who insisted on typing *scientific papers*, full of equations, in Word Perfect. Using graphs he generated in Quattro. In the 2010s, until IT took away his Pentium and CRT monitor for network security reasons.

        He would often wonder why very few of said papers were accepted for publication.

        1. nonegiven*

          Visicalc, I think that was the name of the program. My mother and I took a class in it.

        1. Zombii*

          Probably. I’ve never heard an unflawed reason for using one program over another, or hardware, etc (except “this is what everyone else is doing”—that gets points for at least being somewhat relevant). I use OpenOffice because MS Office costs money and I’m a broke student; once I’m not a broke student, I’ll probably still use OpenOffice because it’s what I’m used to.

          2. Nanani*

            I love Open Office, but now that I’m working a real job I have to use what my clients want me to use, which is Word. Unless I want to spend my days reformatting documents instead of actually working on them.

    5. JB (not in Houston)*

      When we switched to Word from WordPerfect, our *IT* person said she was refusing to learn anything about Word. We are a small organization and have one person who takes care of almost anything computer or network related for us. She eventually relented, but there was a significant period of time when she refused to learn how to do anything in Word. I got along with her on a personal level, but when she retired, I wasn’t sorry.

      1. Kathleen Adams*

        Has anyone ever heard of “MultiMate” (not sure of the spelling)? I wouldn’t have except that I had a supervisor who has since retired, thank God, who use to sing the praises of MultiMate over both WordPerfect and MSWord. Because apparently a rock-bottom basic, blue-screen word processing program was the last word in elegant solutions to one’s composition and correspondence needs?

        That’s plenty weird, but not nearly as weird as an IT person being a computer stick-in-the-mud.

    6. Sibley*

      My company switched from Lotus to Outlook for email, and there were some people who retired prior to the change rather than learn Outlook. At least it was quiet!

    9. KTZee*

      Up until about 5 years ago, my company was running both Word and Framemaker as word processing software, per user preference. (Framemaker… srsly.) When the powers that be announced that Framemaker was going to be discontinued for corporate use there was intense resistance and rebellion. I wouldn’t be even a little surprised to learn that there are people who have carefully hoarded their Framemaker installations through to this day and refused to switch over entirely to Word.

    10. Stranger than fiction*

      We have someone here (who makes three times more than I do) that still uses lotus and has to call me over once in a while when converting something to excel and I have to hear the disdain for excel and if it would just work more like lotus…

    11. SusanIvanova*

      Does it have a Linux version? Corporate declared we would all use a Microsoft product that didn’t even come in a Mac version, so my cross-platform team’s response was “good luck with that”.

      Then they said that the web version of Outlook had “no problems” on Macs or Linux. I worked for a virtual machine tech company. I had access to a dozen pre-installed Linux variants. I sent them screen shots of what Outlook looked like on each one. Not a single one was readable – overlapping text, text that remained mostly off-page regardless of scrolling, white-on-white regardless of settings – a total mess.

    12. LizM*

      We switched from Word Perfect to Word in the 1990s. People in my office still complain about it.

      1. LizM*

        That said, we switched from Lotus to Outlook about 6 years ago, and from Outlook to Gmail about 3 years ago, and Lotus is still my favorite.

        1. JanetM*

          My favorite was CorporateTime, because of how the calendars worked. You could create a recurring appointment and then make changes in the list of dates (for example, if your committee met the second Tuesday of every month except for May, because that was spring break, you could change the May date rather than having to create a separate event), or just list a series of dates. Loved that feature!

          I vaguely remember preferring GroupWise to LotusNotes, but I don’t remember exactly why.

    13. BePositive*

      I hate Lotus. My company hates it too but still having trouble phasing it out. People still use Word Perfect?

  32. MuseumChick*

    I was hired at a small museum once where the volunteers were so resistant to change I was literally unable to do my job. I was hired for a “catch all” role, helping with tours, memberships, mailings, special events, etc. But the primary reason the director hired me was so I could bring some order to the museum collection (keeping museum collections records is a HUGE under taking and when things haven’t been done right for literally years it could take twice as long to untangle the mess).

    There was a volunteer who worked in the collections twice a week. She hated that I had been hired. I suggest keeping written accession forms (literally step one, like every single museum keeps them. This was nothing radical.) She didn’t want to write them. I tried to set up a speaker I knew from another museum to talk about proper artifact handling and storage. This volunteer was always too busy to come (I highly suspect she just didn’t want to and my boss really wanted her to be there so it never happened), I did manage to get them to start using the three-part number system most museum use to track object but not without A LOT of grumbling. She was making the collection worse not better but this volunteer was good friends with a member of our board. So my director felt like she could do anything. This volunteer also had a lot of health problems so my director felt bad for her.

    1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      Museum volunteers can be hysterically bad employees.

      1. MuseumChick*

        It’s true, especially at small places where the volunteers feel like they “own” the museum!

    2. Volunteer Coordinator in NOVA*

      I feel like I’ve had to deal with more volunteer temper tantrums than staff and they are always over people not wanting to alter their behavior and most times, it’s a small change too. Usually, it was about what they could/couldn’t say and they would just lose it. I think the worst was when I had to explain to a volunteer that they couldn’t invite homeless children to their home for Christmas morning and I had to have an hour conversation about boundaries and they ended up quitting. I think the holidays just brought out the worst in people as I once had someone who wanted to donate a bunch of gifts that we couldn’t use call me the devil and accuse me that I was against everything Christmas and goodness stood for. This was at the end of a 14 hours day and the lack of savings in my bank account kept me from just walking out on my job.

      1. MuseumChick*

        Volunteer Coordinator, I think you just summed up everything terrible about a museum job in one paragraph! (FLY, I really love working in a museum! But there are….challenges)

        1. HR Manager*

          I’m sorry but I don’t understand. Can you please explain why you would need to tell someone they can’t invite homeless children to their home? Not trying to be snarky but I genuinely don’t understand. Isn’t it their business who they invite to their home?

          1. Volunteer Coordinator in NOVA*

            There are a few reasons but the two major reasons are boundries and safety. It can be really hard for volunteers to deal with boundaries (especially with kids) as people just want to help but sometimes as a volunteer, you don’t understand all the complexities of a person or situation. As a volunteer, you could become overly attached, disagree with a parent’s choice or sometimes we had to ask families to leave (for a variety of reasons) and volunteers would get very upset. Because of confidentiality, I often couldn’t share this information but volunteers would really struggle sometimes when families would leave and they wouldn’t be able to interact with someone they had grown to care for. We had a gift giving process at the shelter so it wasn’t like they didn’t get to celebrate the holiday and they would get to celebrate with their family (not with a random family they don’t know). We also couldn’t take the chance that a kid would go to someone’s house and something inappropriate would happen.

            If the volunteer had met these kids on their own and wanted to do then that’s up to them but we had an obligation to keep our clients safe especially since there is a higher correlation between people who are homeless and people who’ve experienced some type of violence in their life.

            1. Zombii*

              Thank you for clarifying. I was super confused, thinking you were also talking about museum volunteers and not understanding the connection to homeless children! *facepalm*

          2. Natalie*

            When you have volunteers that work directly with a client population, it’s pretty standard policy to prohibit contact with the client population outside of the specified volunteer hours. There are various reasons for this – eliminating favoritism, creates an extra layer of protection for vulnerable clients, provides the volunteers with a graceful out if they are asked to do things they’re not comfortable with, etc.

          3. Slytherin HR*

            If the volunteer is actively recruiting the homeless children that they encounter as part of the volunteer work, that’s a huge boundary issue and the liability would likely fall on the organization if anything hinky happened. Particularly when you’re talking about at-risk children, an organization needs to be pretty careful that they aren’t encouraging or allowing scenarios where sexual predators can take advantage of the children or even just putting the children into a situation where they become someone’s project instead of a person.

          4. JustVisiting*

            If the volunteer is working for a homeless shelter or related service provider, it could create a problem for a volunteer to host private events for some of the clients. Especially if the clients are dependent on the services being provided, and might feel obligated to attend even if they’re uncomfortable with it … or a whole host of other possible issues. Additionally, the volunteer can be seen as acting on behalf of the organization, especially if the invitations take place while the volunteer is working, and just for current clients, etc. — potentially creating liability issues. There’s just a million reasons why, even if everyone has good intentions, this is not advisable.

    3. Liane*

      There’s a whole Epic Saga of original and updates on a museum professional trying in vain to deal with a volunteer named “Steve” (it’s so long running I can recall the name used in the posts!) who not only was giving that OP problems but had parts of the collection at his home, was very good buddies with donors, and no one was able to control him.
      Spoiler: as of latest update I can recall, Steve still had the items & was making life miserable.

    4. Library Lady*

      I was a consultant for one of these museums once. The board wanted to make major changes, but didn’t want to upset the volunteers because then there would be no one to keep the museum open, and the volunteers refused to make any changes at all.

    5. Good Afternoon!*

      I worked at an historical farm museum. Someone once dropped off a piglet. Just dropped it off saying we were a farm :(. They rare fused to give their information so we were stuck with it.

      It was a modern hog. Quite different from the historic breeds we used for education. The biggest difference; they are BIGGER as in hundreds of pounds bigger!

      A coworker adopted it and it was great pals wth his kid. I think it lived under/near their porch? It never got an accession number. Our curator would not put up with that silliness.

      I know not a tantrum but I thought everyone could use a laugh about the museum world.

      1. Astor*

        This whole poor thing, poor you guys, poor piglet, but the part that made me laugh out loud is, that it “never got an accession number.”

      2. MuseumChick*

        LOL, I know this is very niche but I’ve always kind of wanted AAM to do a series “People from field X tell us your stories” Museums are truely the weirdest.

  33. Volunteer Coordinator in NOVA*

    When I first read the title, I thought OMG this may be me. I just rant to myself (or to people not at my job) though and don’t make a huge deal of it at work because my boss/ED don’t always care when people voice their opinions. But after reading everyone else stories, I feel a bit better that maybe some of the things that annoy me at my job are justified!

    1. JulieBulie*

      I rant and rave internally over all kinds of things. I never like any change at first. But I also know that I will get used to it and possibly even end up liking it. But still, I always have that negative initial reaction. It would be nice if more people could hold their venom and bile, and fume quietly for a little while before making an external reaction.

  34. David*

    We have treat days every other Friday, with people signing up to bring in said treats on those days. Most of the time it’s baked good (bagels, donuts, etc), but every so often someone will do something out of the ordinary, like a nacho bar. In those cases, they’ll generally not set up the treats until later morning because the food doesn’t really lend itself to being an early morning treat. Well, one fellow will go through the roof if the food isn’t set out by 8am…and he’ll let everyone know how upset he is because “this is my breakfast and I’m going to have to go hungry!” And heaven forbid the designated person forgot! Of course, that doesn’t happen often because he’ll be sure to send them an e-mail the day before reminding them of their obligation.

    1. Rincat*

      “Obligation.” Ha! So sorry an independent adult with a job can’t manage to feed himself or be hungry for a little bit one day out of the week…

      1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        Like I said above, I think complaints of this nature are an automatic volunteer to go out and get the bagels one’s damnself.

      1. Rebecca in Dallas*

        Haha, I was about to say! How often does this guy contribute his “obligation”?

    3. Pebbles*

      Ha! I never get in before 8:30 (I am NOT a morning person), so that poor guy would starve on my designated days.

    4. Artemesia*

      Someone should put a bargain basement box of granola bars on the guy’s desk with a note ‘so you don’t have to go hungry next time someone brings in a lunch treat instead of a breakfast treat.’ But he probably wouldn’t get it.

    5. Nottingham*

      All I can think now is, there’s a guy who’s practically begging for any of the old slapstick food-to-the-face jokes.

      “But breakfast whaaa–” *schlap, gloop* Pancake drops onto his head, hot dog goes up his nose, sauce or gravy down his shirt, custard pie to the face, bananas end up stuck in his ears, etc

  35. Rincat*

    The Office Jerk in my former department threw a hissy fit when it came out that people below director-level would be sharing offices soon. We had recently reorganized and there just wasn’t enough space for everyone to have a private office. I was the first person to get an office mate, and when he saw the new desk being moved into my office he was LIVID. He got really angry and tried to get me to join in his rage-a-thon. He badgered me to get upset that I was being so “mistreated”. Then he sulked and complained about it for a few weeks. When he finally got his office mate, I noticed he started taking a lot more unplanned absences. The silly thing is, we all worked from home about 60-80% of the week so if you scheduled it right, you basically had the office to yourself when you were on site! So not much changed except having an extra, empty desk and occasionally seeing your office mate.

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      I was sort of sympathetic until you got to the part about working from home most of the time. You really could schedule around each other if it was THAT important to you.

      1. Rincat*

        Yeah, I can see how losing a private office when you’ve had one for a while is really sucky…I mean I wasn’t thrilled about it when I first found out, but that’s life sometimes. I probably would have been more bothered if we had to be on site all the time. And yes, I rarely saw my office mate because of our schedules, so it really didn’t feel like a change at all!

  36. Always Thinking*

    A staff member in a different department threatened to throw his laptop out of the window if we replaced it (it was 3 years old and due for an upgrade) with the new standard model, which he didn’t like because it weighed a few ounces more.

    1. Justme*

      I’m holding on to my old printer because it works well and only needs one relatively inexpensive cartridge. 99% of my printing is in black & white anyway, so I don’t need a fancy color printer. I can print on the copier if I need color. I’m due for the upgrade and told IT to put me at the very bottom of the list.

      1. The Bread burglar*

        The bottom of the list is different then out the window! Plus I am guessing its not due to the weight?

        I’m resisting a new scanner and at the bottom of the list. But thats because mine works and people who have the new ones complain about bugs.

      2. Elizabeth West*

        Ha, I held out until Windows 10 for a laptop upgrade at Exjob. I did NOT want to use Windows 8 even though they made us go to a meeting where they showed us how it worked. I managed to keep my Win 7 machine until almost the bitter end.

        1. SusanIvanova*

          For very valid work reasons – occasionally I had to test our software in 8-bit color mode – I had an older version of Windows on my laptop. I quickly learned that if it had to go in for any service, to put post-its all over it saying that a software upgrade was not allowed and would result in the computer bouncing straight back for a downgrade. “But features!” Except the only one I use; aside from that, it was a paperweight.

    2. Anonyforthis*

      Yup, whenever we do a hardware upgrade, there are always people who have issues. In our case, the laptops were actually smaller, but we provided a docking station/monitor/keyboard and mouse for anyone to take home so they did not need to use the smaller screen/keyboard unless they were traveling. Well, we upgraded the laptop of a user a while back, and did he come and talk to us about any issues? Nope. He passively-aggressively told his boss that he absolutely could not take his laptop anywhere because it did not work with his home printer, and he was getting carpal tunnel from the keyboard and could not see the screen. Only when I went to his location did his boss ask me about it, in front of him, and he (in his doufy way) said that he was just fine with not bringing his laptop home but his BOSS probably minded… I can’t wait for this guy to retire…not soon enough!

      1. writelhd*

        I was prepared to hate the new windows when we were forced to upgrade from XP (not that I was going to say anything about it…) but then I ended up actually liking it a lot.

        1. Noobtastic*

          I miss XP a lot, actually, largely because my favorite old games would run on it, but not on the new numbered Windows. Thank goodness for Good Old Games dot com (GOG), and releasing those games I have missed for years.

          I do have a very very old laptop, that still runs XP, but I literally only use it for one game (not yet out on GOG). I might load up something else on it someday, if I dig out the old disks or find the download file online. But I’d have to remember 1) to do it and 2) where I stashed the old laptop.

          I do, however, really miss how I had my desktop set up juuuuuuust the way I like it. I have never managed that again with the new Windows. And Windows 10 just annoys me sooooo much with showing me a new, pretty picture whenever I turn it on, with a “Do you like what you see?” question, but absolutely no way to actually save that picture so I can look at it AGAIN or save it to my desktop! Nope. If I like the picture, I just have to stare at it and soak it in, until I finally say, “Well, I’d better actually start working now,” and finish logging in. Bleh.

          1. Jess*

            The thing that bugs me about the “do you like what you see?” is that I’m not sure what part of an algorithm is going to pay attention to my response. Like – I don’t like THIS particular landscape photo because it looks bleak to me. But if I say “no”, will it stop showing me all landscape photos? Or just photos that are predominantly one colour? Or photos taken in the same location?

            1. Noobtastic*

              Yeah! It’s so non-specific. I think I clicked “yes” on something that had a vaguely curved shape to it, and then the next five pictures were pictures of tools and things, all that had a vaguely curved shape to them. Or maybe it just thought “Hmmmm, we don’t know what this picture is actually all about, so let’s just throw something completely random out there, and see if she likes it.” And then, when I clicked “NO,” for the tools, they just kept sending them to me, anyway, but they were different colors, so that was different, right?

              Sometimes, I think they have us click that button just to make us feel like we’re being heard, but there is no algorithm, at all.

  37. The Final Pam*

    At an old job (about 3-4 years ago) we were changing from using a pretty old / archaic system on Lotus Notes to a much MUCH simpler system through Outlook. The new process was so easy, took way less time, and was less confusing in just about every way. People got SO MAD.

    1. ggg*

      Same here. People were so used to complaining about the shitty e-mail client that they couldn’t stop when it stopped being shitty.

      1. Paxton*

        At my OldJob, the company was purchased by a fortune 500 and they moved us from outlook to lotus notes. It was a sad day.

  38. kittymommy*

    My boss flips out if I don’t make a full put of coffee for him, even if he’s only here a half hour. The reason I don’t? In the one who Jas to pay for all the coffee supplies. With no reimbursement. Sorry, if I’m not drinking it, I’m not wasting it.

    3. LiveAndLetDie*

      Can you tell him “Sorry, it’s getting too expensive for me to provide the coffee here, I can’t keep doing this”?

      2. kittymommy*

        Maybe, but it’s easier to just make every couple of weeks and keep him out of my hair. He knows he can’t really complain about it, but he could retaliate in other ways. He’s not my”main” boss do that helps.

        1. Noobtastic*

          If he retaliates, go to HR.

          It is NOT your job to pay for your boss’s coffee every day. And if he abuses you for not spending YOUR money on HIM, then definitely report it to HR.

          In fact, if he abuses you, full stop, report to HR.

          I’m in an HR mood today. YMMV. But honestly, this is just unacceptable! Having quit jobs before, I can honestly say I would not work for such a man. If this was supposed to be a regular part of the job, then he should have set your salary lower by exactly how much it costs to buy the coffee supplies, when he hired you, in the first place, and then made “Go out and fetch the coffee supplies with ‘petty cash'” as part of your official duties. I would be OK with that. In that case, eh could even insist that you fix him coffee on days he’s only popping in for five minutes. But NOT abuse you for missing it that day. Abuse is never OK.

          I am feeling very rage about this (of all the things here, THIS is ticking me off so much, right now!), and I think I’d better get offline, now, because I’ll stress-hurt myself. Gonna go watch a movie or something.

          Good luck!

          1. Noobtastic*

            Hehe. Apparently, I’m having a “weirdly dramatic response” to a mundane office… um. Thing.

    4. Lemon Zinger*

      Sounds like coffee is a business expense for you. You need to ask for reimbursement, or stop providing it.

  39. Elmyra Duff*

    At one of my old jobs, the manager would buy the department pizza and cookies, candy bars, and other things like that once a month or so. One month, he bought full size candy bars instead of small ones, and one of the more…eccentric women in the office lost her mind. The most repeated phrase in her rant was, “WHO EATS FULL SIZE CANDY BARS?!” Like, hey, I do. Go back to your yoga ball, crazypants.

    1. The Bread burglar*

      Bwahaha amazing. I would love full size candybars.

      Thats like the jackpot house at halloween.

    3. Anonymous Coward*

      At one of MY old jobs, the company provided snacks in baskets and bins, including full-sized candy bars. For a few months, SOMEONE (identity unknown by me) would eat a single Twix out of a package and leave the other one in the wrapper on the kitchen counter. To come back to later? (They never seemed to.) For others to eat? (Who wants to eat from a package an unknown coworker has opened and left?) Either at the end of the day, or when someone got annoyed that it was still there, the second Twix got tossed in the trash. It got to the point of people leaving notes like “Just take it back to your desk and eat it tomorrow. Or find a friend to share. Don’t leave candy out to attract bugs.”

      1. Partly Cloudy*

        One of my co-workers’ pet peeve is people dividing food in the break room that “shouldn’t” be divided. Like, she’s fine with you taking half a bagel if they’re already cut in half, but hates it when you cut a donut or muffin in half – even with a knife, not having touched/contaminated the food in any way. Part of me is curious to know how this co-worker would deal with the Twix thing. They’re sort of meant to be broken apart, but come in the same package… how would she feel?

        1. Library Lady*

          Your co-worker would hate me soooo much. I’m totally cutting up those donuts. I don’t want a whole one, I want a little bit of two different ones.

          1. kc89*

            You should find someone to split the donuts with instead of leaving cut up donuts sitting and looking like they have been touched.

            1. motherofdragons*

              Really? That seems like overkill. What if you can’t find anyone? No donuts for you?

  40. Sunshine on a cloudy day*

    Oh man. At old ToxicJob I took over a multi-step process (it involved onboarding new employees to certain programs, tracking their training and getting specific docs from them) from a colleague (said colleague had been promoted to be my supervisor). I created a basic spreadsheet so that I could keep track of where I was within the process for each new employees (also so that I could date certain steps and quickly determine how much longer new employees had for other steps).

    Colleague/new supervisor was bizzarely incensed that I did this – instead of just keeping track of the info in my head, like she did, I guess…? She told me repeatedly what a waste of time it was and would audibly sigh when or slam drawers doors/drawers if I ever mentioned the spreadsheet (ex: she would ask how many days John had left to complete this training, I would respond with “one sec, let me check the tracker”). It got to the point that she went to the head of the department to report me for my “poor time management”.

    It was crazy, but there were definitely other issues between her and I (and the department as a whole), so this was just one of the couple weird things she latched onto to express her displeasure with me/my working style.

    1. Sunshine on a cloudy day*

      Oh she also get really mad when I started using a macro to make some formatting changes with a single key-stroke to a daily report that I had to print. She’d make a big scene of checking the formatting of the report everyday (literally until I left), to make sure that it was formatted properly before handing it to our dept. head.

      1. Adlib*

        Yikes, sounds like she’s never managed anyone before. I guess she likes the extra work.

    2. The Rat-Catcher*

      Why let a computer remember what you could remember yourself, amirite?
      Certainly no one will ever need this information while you are out/after you leave and wouldn’t think “Gosh, if Sunshine had only kept this in some sort of easy-to-read written format!”

  41. writelhd*

    Not exactly an office change but related, we do a rotating breakfast Friday where those who sign up bring something in for all the others who have also signed up. We’ve got a fair number of accomplished cooks (or coworkers with spouses who are accomplished cooks) so some people really go nuts and bring in amazing home cooked treats. We’ve had omelettes (we did put a stove in our plant just for this) hand-delivered by the president and Belgian waffles made to order with an amazing array of toppings.

    Other people just bring bagels because it’s easier and faster, and you do have to sign up to bring food to be allowed to partake in the food others bring. Which is fine with me, but man there are certain people who make a BIG FRIKKIN DEAL every single time it’s just bagels. These are generally not the same people who do the awesome home cooking themselves.

    1. JulieBulie*

      I brought a fruit salad (with fresh fruit that I had cut up the night before) to one of those things, and my coworkers complained because “it’s supposed to be donuts or danish.” I didn’t know that. It was only the third Friday, and I thought we were going for a variety of breakfast things. Fruit is more expensive than donuts. I could have brought donuts.

      But it was fine. No one ate the awesome fruit salad, and I got to keep the rest, and it was great.

      1. Another bureaucrat*

        I will never understand people who think they get to comment or complain about FREE FOOD. It’s FREE. Better if it’s nice or involved effort from someone! Then you have to be extra nice and thankful. Jeez.

      2. Meredith*

        Food is so fraught! I love bringing in whole fruit, because we have a few people who can’t eat baked goods or are watching their weight. We get donuts and other treats all the time, which they can’t eat, which is a bummer. Boo to people who complain about free food.

      3. Fed Minion*

        I would love fruit. Free snack s are free snacks. Plus, fruit is delicious and healthy. I don’t understand the resistance.

      4. Jenna*

        I would have loved fruit! I’m celiac, so, the donuts and Danishes smell great, but, I can’t eat them. I still miss bagels, too.

        1. Jessica*

          Ditto. I am celiac and mostly paleo, so I’m the one who grumbles when it’s nothing but bagels and pastries.

          The sad thing is that most people really don’t like healthy food. I periodically host gatherings at my house, and my husband always wants to just get cookies and pizza. I’ve put in the effort to make healthy stuff – chicken chili, Asian slaw, taco bar, homemade apple baked beans, various salads…and pretty much everyone just eats the pizza and cookies. :’-( The worst part is my husband is right!

          1. KellyK*

            Chicken chili and the taco bar sound amazing to me. You can totally invite me over and I won’t let your hard work go to waste! ;) (Though I will also eat the cookies. I mean, cookies.)

    2. NLMC*

      We’ve had the same issues with Friday breakfasts. We had someone send out an angry email explaining no one should be going to the dollar menu since other people bring nicer items.

    3. JamToday*

      Heh, many years ago I worked very closely with the Engineering department. We had software releases every two months, and they were a Big Deal. Engineers were required to be in, boots on the ground, by 7am to do smoke testing, and identify any potential issues prior to our customers start of business. The company would provide a nice breakfast buffet for them — fruit, bagels, cream cheese, smoked salmon, coffee — and I would show up early and usually bake a breakfast casserole (french toast) just to be nice and comradely.

      One time — ONE TIME — I just couldn’t get it together the night before to do it (don’t know why, busy or exhausted or whatever) so I swung by McD’s and picked up breakfast sandwiches (with and without meat for the vegetarians) and hashbrowns, to the tune of around $40 and was immediately met with some very sour “Why didn’t you bring french toast?!?” and other fairly aggressive expressions of disappointment. I. Was. Pissed. I must have looked it too, because about a half hour later I got a whole bunch of sheepish “thank yous” which makes me think their manager came out and spoke sternly to them about how not to be total jerks to your coworkers who got up at 6am to get you breakfast.

    4. HRU*

      I’m reading Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes, and this reminds me of Leave-No-Mom-Behind – for Co-Workers. We’re all doing the best we can. Be Pleasant. An Attitude of Gratitude is key. Make it work FOR the group.

      My one exception was when my Mom retired. She kept over cooking and overbaking for herself, buying things to drop off and say “but it was on sale!” and would bring so much, so often to my house that the food that my family meal plans were constantly hijacked. I had to say, mom, love ya, but do NOT bring any more food here unless it is OK’d by the adults (yes, she brought my kids into the equation, often with half-price after-holiday candy excess)

  42. Inbox full*

    It was not as disproportionate as it looked, but several people got upset at my previous job when new management and IT prepared to implement a policy that (1) no email could be kept on the local drive – no archives, (2) all messages older than X would be removed on the email servers, (3) messages older than Y but newer than X would be in archives on the servers.

    They did not want the servers stuffed full, they did not want potential confidential data scattered on local drives, and they did not *really* want discovery for lawsuits to involve emails going back multiple years (nor to involve every hard drive and employee, though given documents, that last was inevitable).

    The previous policy? You have X space on the email server, don’t exceed it or else you will not be able to send/receive mail.

    The strong reaction was because many of the engineers and other field people had been able to find answers to questions or resolve issues by referencing old emails – in some cases 5+ years old. And while a few of them were things you would look at and think “I had better save this in a document because I will want to reference it for a long time”…many of them were not.

    The company was thinking of it from an information-control and legal liability standpoint. The employees were responding, “But that information helps me do my job!”

    1. Government Worker*

      That would drive me bonkers. My office’s email retention policy is 6 months, and I keep an archive of older stuff on my local drive because 6 months is just way too short. My archive system had some holes at first until I figured out the best way to manage it, and several times I’ve been annoyed at not being able to go back and find someone’s email address/an old document/confirmation of when something occured/other info. And I’ve been here less than two years.

      1. RabbitRabbit*

        I work in medical research in a hospital. Generally you’d better keep those e-mails for about a decade. This leads to a lot of printing and putting in binders, but even then there’s an expectation that a lot of them should be available in their original (electronic) format.

        1. Lison*

          I work in regulated environment and yes emails need to be available for ten years if they are to do with decisions on regulated products. I’ve also been able to forward on messages from regulators proving that despite what the new manager thinks the regulator has previously said it’s not ok. Plus I’ve had at least one time where I had proof that I had been told from on high that I had to write a statement that was sent out and resulted in problems for the company. And ive also been able to sort potential problems out without extra work by answering the same question I did 3 years ago. To me losing everything is my hill to die on. If there is a way that important emails can be stored on a secure server then I’ll not chose to die on that hill but otherwise no.

    2. Fabulous*

      I always keep all my email for this exact reason. Maybe I’ll need this information down the road. Let ME dictate what is deletable!

      1. Inbox full*

        I think the “we do not want this available for discovery in a lawsuit” was a large part of it. After they got burned by it in at least one lawsuit, and had to haul up gigabytes of email in two more. (I do not think the email was a problem other than its volume in those two, but I wasn’t involved closely enough to be sure.)

        Maybe don’t do things where it will cause problems? But having information that when client X wanted to use third-party tool Y they just solved it themselves by doing Z is incredibly valuable when a new client asks whether you can provide a way for them to use third-party tool Y with what you’re providing.

        It’s not like there’s plans or documentation for it, because the client just did it. But knowing they did, and how, makes solving it for the new client really easy. (It also makes the fact so non-interesting that none of us remembered it – but a quick search on ‘Y’ turned it up.)

        1. K*

          Lawyer here. Forensic discovery is WAY more expensive when you know responsive docs have been deleted. The stated goal of purging them to avoid discovery could get you knocked with pretty heavy sanctions.

          1. Pebbles*

            I work for a data recovery company that finds those docs/emails for litigation and can confirm this.

          2. Anonymous 40*

            You’re the lawyer, of course, but this doesn’t match what I’ve heard on the subject, even from other lawyers. My understanding is that if an organization has a written email retention policy – say six months, with no local archives allowed on users’ PCs – and enforced those rules both in practice and with technology, you wouldn’t be sanctioned for not being able to produce messages outside that period. With exceptions, of course, for regulatory requirements and messages covered by legal holds received prior to the automatic deletion of relevant records.

    3. WaitingforMacaroni*

      I used to work with Engineers. And the reaction was the same. “No, we can’t archive remotely, we can’t get to the old stuff with a fast enough turnaround even though we only look at old stuff maybe once a year!”

      IT won; engineers didn’t have administrative staff dedicated enough (or stick around long enough since no one wanted to file or archive among the administrative staff at all) to implement a local but redundant system and stuff was “lost.” Cue the eye rolls and complaining.

      1. Inbox full*

        If they had wanted it archived on the server, I believe 90% or more of the complaining would have gone away.

        Anything older than a year was going to be purged, and keeping local copies of it in an email archive was going to be forbidden. That really seemed to be most of the breaking point for people.

    4. required name*

      Wow. I have e-mail archives going back from when I started this job and they’re priceless. They’re kept on my local network drive, not the C drive, so IT backs it up every day.

      My opinion would be “I don’t care about your potential lawsuits, I need this for my job, you know, the one I got hired for” ;)

      2. Karen K*

        I can also get any emails I have sent since we began emailing, even though we changed systems (Groupwise to Outlook), so long as I haven’t actually deleted it.

        They do autoarchive after so many days, but they’re easy enough to find. And no, none of it is on our local drives. IT here strongly discourages using local drives for anything, but that’s for safety rather than security. Before I finally got it through my head, I would lose countless files when my PC eventually crashed.

      3. TrixM*

        This is pretty old, but as an email and server administrator, I just have to respond.

        PST files are absolute garbage. They were designed for the days of dialup (POP-based) email, not as a long-time archive format. They were not designed to be used on shared drives – in fact, if too many people have PST files open on a server, they consume extra processing “threads”, and in some cases, can crash the file server.

        PST files can’t be searched without opening them in Outlook, so that data can’t be shared, and we administrators can’t check it for duplicates. They corrupt themselves incredibly easily – the file format is so bad. The amount of people who literally drag and drop ALL of their garbage email will astound you – meeting requests (not the actual calendar item for the meeting), morning tea notices, gossip with other staff members, unofficial correspondence regarding a project closed off years ago (yes, with the actual contacts etc stored in the actual records management system), jokes, funny cat pics, personal correspondence with friends and family, blah blah. And then some of these people create a new PST copy – which still contains the old stuff – and append to the “new” one, every month, year, whatever. And even when they are not duplicating the contents, they never ever ever go back into old archives to see if the contents themselves are still required/useful.

        In my organisation, the maximum length of time we must hold onto financial records is 7 years – these MUST be stored in the appropriate accounting system, or the records management system. There are some legislative requirements we must adhere to – those records (including email deemed as records) must be stored in the records management system. This makes them actually discoverable and ensures they are retained for the required period. We delete staff members’ “home drives” when they leave, which means their precious PSTs go up in smoke. There are PSTs going back to 2002 on our file servers. We are only required to keep HR/pension info for that long, and not in email!

        If there are actual good business reasons to have more email storage capacity for reference purposes, and where you don’t have an appropriate records management system (it’s useful stuff, but not “official” stuff you need to store, please please please lobby your managers to lobby the higher-ups to get an email archive system put in place.

        “IT” actually often does not have the power to put new systems in, willy-nilly. I have begged for 8 years for us to put in an archiving system for the reasons above, but the our bosses do not budget for it, or when they do, they remove the funding. “There’s no demand from the business… The board is not prioritising IT-only projects…”.

        In the meantime, I dread if we get a legal case that will require discovery. We are not compliant with archiving standards. Our file servers are groaning from the weight of PSTs. Information is locked up in “personal” storage and can’t be got-at easily. We are consuming many multiples of storage space beyond what we actually need because of all the duplicates and garbage being stored Staff are demanding bigger mailboxes that we can’t supply because of the fact we haven’t been allowed to upgrade our mail servers in 7 years.

        So if “the business” makes a stink about it that reaches the executive level, you can bet that “IT” can get it done, because there will be money and an appropriate prioritisation of our bosses’ projects.

        And the supreme irony of this is that my team is currently being terminated because IT needs to be “more proactive” in our organisation, but our bosses could not see that “proactively” recommending a proper email archive system to the executive (not to mention all the other initiatives we’ve been desperate to do) would make us seem to be “proactive” about responding to IT stress points. Our email storage is the worst by far, and it affects ALL parts of the business.
        As my team has pointed out over and over and over. Never mind, we’ll be gone in a few months, and they won’t have to keep ignoring our complaints.

  43. Amy the Rev*

    My church was going to change the altar configuration to make the pulpit moveable, so that we could have the pageant in the sanctuary more easily, and have more space at the front of the sanctuary in general…people. got. pissed.
    So many folks were up in arms about how it’d be *wrong* to change the altar configuration, how it had been that way *since the church was built* (in the late 1700s), etc…

    Finally after much lobbying the vote to change it passed, and in the course of the construction, we discovered:
    …
    the foundation for 5 different altar configurations. Five.

    There’s truth to the joke: What are the seven last words of a dying church? “We’ve never done it that way before”

    1. NLMC*

      I was at a church that had people freak out when they started printing the song order in the bulletin. They still were upset when it was pointed out that all the musicians and music minister had the list all along. They were just putting it out for everyone to see now. I mean how can the Holy Spirit move them if the list was already printed?

      2. Anonymous 40*

        Ha! I’m thrown off by the fact that my relatively new church doesn’t print the order of worship in the bulletin. But I can’t imagine even mentioning it in passing to the staff, much less actually complaining.

    2. kittymommy*

      Ok, I’ll admit, when my church repainted I was one of the purple who flipped out. I Hated it!! I still hate it. It is nite the color of a papaya. What made it worse is I pass the church on my way to and from work so I see it almost every day. And I normally get stopped at the light so I just stare at it. I no longer feel abject despair, but it’s not my favorite.

      1. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

        I was really sad when my old church got repainted. It used to be a very soft weathered red that I adored, and they went to this very plasticky-looking greenish-white. The fact that my parents headed up the committee that chose the color made it worse!

      2. Elizabeth West*

        My old childhood church was redecorated in the early 1970s when I was just a youngling, with gold carpet and these cool-looking broken-glass mosaic blue stained glass windows (before they were just frosted). People complained. But they got used to it; I barely remember the old church.

        Then they had to redo the entire interior again when a very messed-up teenager broke in, stole money from the collection, and set the building on fire. I saw a picture of the new interior–it’s white with big beams. Now it looks like the inside of a boat. I haven’t been back, so I wonder if people are complaining now or if they’re just glad it’s still there. :P

        But I dream about it sometimes (I spent enough time in it as a kid, lord knows), and in my dreams, it always looks like it did when I was a kid.

      1. Annie Moose*

        Actually, I have a minor church story too. My church has this terrible carpet in the sanctuary, this awful very thin, very worn, ugly brown carpet for the aisle and part of the back. (the area actually under the pews is a perfectly serviceable hardwood) My mother says it’s the same carpet since she moved there in the early 80s. Apparently any time someone mentioned replacing the carpet, my grandmother freaks out and goes on a frenzy of carpet-cleaning to “prove” it’s perfectly good carpet, to the point that no one has dared mention replacing it for years.

        Ah well, this is what you have to live with in a tiny church. When you don’t have that many members, sometimes it’s worth it to just put up with someone’s idiosyncracies.

        (yeah, I’ll call my own grandmother out! She doesn’t use the internet so she’ll never know ;) )

        1. Michelle Young*

          I’m a Mormon, and it is an international church that is very much about order. We do things a particular way:

          1) If your congregation is at least X size, then the church will build an actual church building for your congregation. The church will choose and purchase land, and build your church according to one of the standard lay-outs (apparently, the size of the congregation determines the layout). The local congregants don’t have much of any say about the layout, and mostly just say “YAAAYYYY! We get a building!” because…
          2) If your congregation is NOT at least X size, you rent whatever is available. I moved around a lot, and lived in a lot of places that only had less-than-X size congregations. I have attended church services in warehouses, storerooms above a shop, and in one case, meeting on Sunday afternoons at another (alternate denomination – I THINK Presbyterian, but I was about 6, so I could be wrong) church’s building. If it’s a small enough congregation, you might just meet in someone’s living room. Basically, we take what we can get, and are encouraged to be happy to have any sort of regularly-available shelter, at all. After that, just getting a building of our very own is heaven! “It may be standardized, but it’s OURS!”

          As for decoration – we have a selection of prints that may be hung on the walls. Sometimes, someone will knit or crochet a table cloth for the women’s auxiliary meeting room. The children’s auxiliary gets more personalized decoration – basically if someone wants to put up “Theme of the month” or display artwork by the children, or whatever, it’s all transitory, and nobody says “boo” about it, unless that particular display is offensive (such as “Special children” with only three kids listed). If someone were to actually do a tablecloth for the men’s meeting room, then it would be allowed, but frankly, I’ve never seen a priesthood group that cared enough about making their room “pretty” to actually do that. But I haven’t been everywhere, and it probably has happened in a few places. But pretty much, if you’ve seen one actual church building, you’ve seen them all, only with different layouts. The chapel may have a different design overhead (some have beams, and some have buttresses, and some are just kind of bland), but I’m wracking my brains to remember a church building, actually built by the church, that did not have blue carpet. Now temples, on the other hand, have a whole lot of variety. Lots and lots and lots of white inside, yes, but the outside is recognizable as “The Washington D.C. temple” or “The Atlanta temple” or “The Salt Lake temple.” They try really hard to make them more individual. But the Sunday-go-to-church buildings are pretty standard. I think they have carpet replacements and wood-floor re-varnishing on a standardized schedule. It’s not debated. It’s just announced. “We will be re-coating the floor in the cultural hall over the next month. If you have sensitivities to the fumes, you are free to attend church at a different congregation during that time period, or just stay home.” We do “ward-hopping” all the time in our church, because everyone is using the same manuals, and the same lesson-schedule. The only real difference is that some congregations start at 9, some at 11, and some at 1. Sometimes, you have three congregations sharing the same building, so they stagger their schedules to accommodate each other. But they’re all teaching the same lessons that day. However, you are only allowed to actually serve in a calling within your own, assigned geographically, congregations.

          That said, we are church full of people, and people will freak out over odd things. We usually have the freak-outs over suggestions for activities. “We are single adults! We can’t have an Easter Egg hunt! I don’t care how much fun it is! You’re just stupid, so sit down and shut up!” Yes, screaming matches sometimes ensue in the planning committee. Generally, though, someone else on the planning committee, who has no dog in that fight, will start singing a hymn, or something, to calm people down, and remind them to be reverent in church, and the freak-out will fade (usually with neither proposed activity being chosen – you fight, you lose). Another freak-out possibility is when the Presidency makes some sort of decree changing things (like giving Blacks the Priesthood, back in the 70’s). Some people are elated, and others say, “But, but, but… Whyyyyyyy??????” However, in the end, if it comes from on high, you either accept it, or leave the church. Some people do wind up leaving the church over such things.

          The difference between a small individual church and a global church are really something, huh? Sometimes, I look at a small church, and get the feeling that it would be nice to be part of that (and you do have some of that feeling in the smaller congregations – there is a lot of top-down standardization in how things are run, but you have the small-group people dynamics, and it CAN be quite cozy and downright charming, like a family), and other times, I’m just glad of the standardization.

          1. ConstitutionallyVerbose*

            Ex-Mormon here- the church I grew up in had dull orange carpet! Like, the colour of a basketball. Weird, huh?

            The other weird thing, though, is that… weird twine-y rope-carpet *stuff* they use on all the walls. What was up with that?

  44. No, please*

    I worked in a salon that was booth rental. We were all responsible for our own supplies, licenses and insurance, plus we all paid rent. Our rent enabled the owner to hire a receptionist who was also responsible for booking appointments and regular cleaning. This is normal in most salons and we all cleaned our own stations and tools. We had an open house one weekend that we advertised on the radio. We all cleaned for that and the receptionist was only asked to mop the floors and clean the bathroom. We all moved our chairs so this would be quick and easy. She decided to come in early on the morning of the open house to get her nails done, for free, and used this as a reason to not clean. She through a huge fit about “not being a slave!” She stomped around red faced all day, holding her hands up like they were fragile glass and complaining about how mistreated she was. It was so embarrassing that we kept her away from clients. I can’t understand why she wasn’t sent home?

  45. Matilda Jefferies*

    I just want to preface this by saying it was NOT ME who objected to this change. Not me, okay? It was…a friend of mine.

    I…I mean, my friend, started a new job that she didn’t really want, but had to take because it was the only thing on offer. The job itself was fine, but she really objected to the login credentials on her computer system. All her previous jobs had used first initial + last name (mjefferies), and this one was last name + first initial (jefferiesm). It was just *wrong,* and my friend hated logging in with that username every single day she worked there.

    1. Fictional Butt*

      I just got my school email address for the university I’ll be going to for grad school. The university limits how many characters your email address can have, so mine is my first initial plus my last name but the last letter of my last name is missing. I am PISSED. Especially since I’ve had other schools/employers who used the same email system and they didn’t have a character limit. (Seriously, one of my email addresses was firstname.lastname@employer.org… and both my names are loooong.) I’m just not looking forward to the next 3 years of not receiving emails because my email address was misspelled/having to correct people who think my name is spelled the same as my email.

      1. Nallomy*

        I also got a confusing university-generated email address. The last letter of my last name is the same as the first letter of my legal first name, but I go by a nickname that starts with a different letter. Let’s say my name is Olivia Monteiro (it’s not actually), but everyone calls me Liv. My email address is monteirooliv @ university.edu, with a double O in the middle, but people don’t always notice it because nobody calls me Olivia. I can’t even count the number of messages I missed or got late because people didn’t check the address carefully.

      2. Jessica*

        I worked at a university where I was very amused to discover there was a part-time student whose name was close to that of a very senior administrator. They had the same first name, and their last names sounded the same but were off by a letter in the spelling. The VSA’s surname sounded like a common word, but wasn’t spelled like it, while the student’s name was that word. So this part-time student used to get a ton of misdirected emails. I hate to think of the probable sensitive nature of some of them.

        1. Michelle Young*

          Oh, that sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen, when the Very Sensitive Information goes awry.

        2. LawBee*

          Our Managing Partner sends me confidential emails ALL THE TIME because one of his assistants has the same first name as I do. I used to forward them to her – now I just ignore and delete. I don’t want to know what’s going on behind those closed doors.

      3. NoBadCats*

        Before I was an in-house editor at my current employer, I was a freelancer. So MANY times, my co-irkers will cc me on e-mails, but our e-mail system will autofill with my freelance address instead of my office address. Think nobadcats@companyname.com vs. nbcats@homeaddress.com.

        I have been flat out told by co-irkers that it’s “too hard” to actually look at the address when they’re e-mailing and my outside address has been propagated to multiple freelancers and clients. I finally had to set up rules on my home/freelance address to forward all mail to my @companyname.com account because I was missing so many vital e-mails.

    3. Totally Serious*

      My husband has a first initial/last name combo that ends up kinda mildly inappropriate to some people. His first initial + part (BUT NOT ALL) of his last name make a slang term for part of the, uh, male anatomy. So for example, if his name were D. Icknar or something like that, meaning the email address would be dicknar@company.com. Now most people don’t even think about this, much less mention it, but he did once have a boss that made SUCH a big deal out of it. And IT wouldn’t change it because it was the standard formatting and she wouldn’t drop it because she felt like he would be so embarrassed by it and he mostly just wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whenever it came up.

          1. Not Karen*

            Why would you change that?? :)

            I can’t remember under what circumstances, but at one point I came across a man named B. A. King so his e-mail was baking@company.com. As a baker, I would love that e-mail address.

          2. Nic*

            That’s amusing! My small town college’s mascot is (strangely for that Bible Belt area) the Demons. That would have gone so well at my school. hehe!

      3. Artemesia*

        I remember calling roll when I taught HS in the 60s. One day, new class and there was, Matheson, Virgin (or something like that, but Virgin) When I got to her name, I said ‘Virginia’ and she breathed an audible sigh of relief when she raised her hand. She came up to me afterwards and said ‘you are the first teacher who didn’t call out ‘Virgin’; I hate it that my name gets cut off that way because of the character limit.’ I wondered when I saw it, but figured if I were mistaken, it was better than being mistaken the other way.

        1. Nic*

          That reminds me of one student my dad had. He was a professor and used to call roll at the beginning of class. One semester on the first day he got to a student whose name was Shithead (pronounced Shi (as in shiitake mushroom) theed (rhymes with “bleed”).

          He was quick on his feet. “Hey guys, roll call is taking too long. I’m going to pass around a page for everyone to sign.”

          I have a feeling the student knew EXACTLY why he changed, and given how poor I know my father is at pronouncing words from other languages than English, I would bet dollars to donuts (even ones cut in half!) that the student was relieved.

      5. JanetM*

        Long ago, Eudora email would warn you about using NSFW language. We had a faculty member whose first name was Dong-hua.

    4. many bells down*

      There’s a picture I’ve seen of this girl’s automatically assigned college email. Her name is Megan Finger. The college gave her “fingerme@collegename.edu”.

    5. Nic*

      I don’t know if this turned into a big explosion at any point, but it was one of those things that EVERYONE in the office knew about and the less mature ones laughed at.

      At OldJob the email format was FLastname@email. That’s also how records of our actions on the system appeared in the system, and many workers called their coworkers by FLastname as though it were one word.

      We had a woman named (changed, of course, to something different but similar that would work in this example) Claire Munbath. The email format was FLastname@email. That’s also how records of our actions on the system appeared in the system, and many workers called their coworkers by FLastname as though it were one word.

      The company made her change the way she spelled her name at work to Klaire.

      Having an awkward last name of my own, to an extent I get it. I’d also be less than pleased.

      1. Michelle Young*

        So, instead of just telling their employees to be adults, and stop giggling like a bunch of tweens at a slumber party, they actually made her change her name?

        There’s a Hill to Die On.

    6. Anonymous 40*

      At my job, the standard is the first six letters of your last name and your first and middle initials. My last name is seven letters long, so when I have to type my login I have to consciously think to drop the last letter of my last name. I have SO much trouble catching it, even after three years. Our email addresses are firstname.lastname and I so wish they’d make that our user names as well.

      1. Marthooh*

        That might be easier if you consciously call it a password instead of a user name.

  46. Lily in NYC*

    My sister was responsible for creating data standards at her job (an agency that hold important records) – a place where people are entrenched and very set in their ways. Most people were fine but a few people completely lost their minds. She was a young woman when this was going on and the middle-aged men were the people who pushed back the most. One of them started a campaign of terror against her and reported her for discrimination. That didn’t work so he reported her to the inspector general’s office for fraud and he got in trouble for making a false report.
    The best part is that she’s been promoted multiple times since then and ended up as the boss of everyone who messed with her. All of a sudden they started kissing her butt, except for the worst dude, who was the head of a division. He got worse and started badmouthing her to his staff. They like my sister and felt very uncomfortable and ended up reporting him after he said she deserved to have her throat slit. He got forced into retirement and went on a national news program to complain how he was railroaded (I don’t want to say which one because then I won’t be anonymous here as my sister is very googleable). This was over two years ago and he still sends her creepy texts once in a while (she never responds and reports it every time).

    1. SimonTheGreyWarden*

      Wow. I mean, I just can’t imagine anything other than Wow to say. Is your sister able to get a restraining order or anything?

    2. Queen of the File*

      !!!

      I had a disturbing coworker who threatened me after I reacted with surprise when he came up behind me and touched my shoulder one day. I now feel lucky that he disappeared from my life after reading this.

    4. Noobtastic*

      Did he say WHY she deserved to have her throat slit, or did he think murder was an appropriate response to creating data standards?

      How incredibly horrible. That should have been a firing offense, not a forced retirement. Forced or not, retirement means benefits, and firing does not.

      And then he complained about it on the news? Did the reporter point out that the reason he was let go was that he made death threats? Or was it all one-sided and “oh, the poor, poor man, railroaded into retirement by a young bitch who didn’t have the proper respect for his middle-aged manliness”?

      I’m so disgusted by this. Thank God that he didn’t get away with it, and that her employers had her back. And her employees, as well! Good for them!

  47. Gandalf the Nude*

    When changing from an archaic, manual entry process that lent no protection in case of an audit, to a shiny new online system that would take 1/3 of the time and close the liability gap:

    Manager: Hey, some of my guys are real technology challenged. Dickey, Doyle, and Coover don’t use their smartphones for anything but calls. Can we keep them on the manual system?
    Me: No, the entire point is to get away from that system because it wouldn’t stand up to an audit. I’ve got a bunch of guides and I’m happy to give them extra training.
    Manager: Can I at least do Arlo’s for him?
    Me: No, that still defeats the purpose of the new system. Why?
    Manager: He thinks computers are the devil.
    Me: It’s really not complicated. Even Bo learned–
    Manager: No, he thinks computers are the literal devil.

    1. No, please*

      Lol! This reminds me of a coworker I had in a department store. I was 17 and helping her pick up the lingerie area. She started telling me that only white cotton underwear was appropriate for Christian women and she hoped I didn’t buy any of this sinful underwear. Why are everyday objects so evil to some folks?

      1. Liane*

        “Why are everyday objects so evil to some folks?”
        This (sort of) proper Christian lady who sings in the choir and plays roleplaying games (including D&D!) has no idea. Sorry.

        1. Adlib*

          I had always heard D&D was evil while I was growing up, but once I grew up and became a gamer? Still don’t get it.

        2. Noobtastic*

          Oh, wow, remember the big blow-up about D&D about 35 years ago? Apparently, as I recall, a kid somewhere played D&D and then killed himself. So, obviously, it was the game that made him kill himself, and not, I don’t know, depression, school bullying, family abuse, sexual abuse, etc. Nope. Had to be a table-top role-playing game that made him decide death was a good idea.

          We weren’t allowed to play it at our house, after that, and none of us understood why. Decades later, my father bought a D&D computer game and gave it to me, as if he didn’t remember banning the game, so long ago. It was so much fun, and I’ve been enjoying D&D computer games ever since.

      3. Marillenbaum*

        Wow. I remember my mom not letting me buy underwear with writing on it as a teenager (apart from my beloved day-of-the-week set), because she said minors did not need sexually suggestive underwear (fair enough), but she would never have said white only.

      4. paul*

        My was (she isn’t now, term’s over) a deacon, and well…I *know* she doesn’t agree with that

      5. Artemesia*

        You should have told her about Elvis’s white cotton underwear fetish. In fact this is part of lots of school girl fetishes.

      6. Little Missy*

        I remember that scene in Miss Congeniality where Miss Rhode Island confesses she once shoplifted some red panties. “They were Satan’s panties!” I’m a Christian and without giving TMI, let me just say I don’t own a single pair of white cotton underwear. So there.

    2. JoAnna*

      I was absolutely floored by something my husband told me yesterday. He works as a computer programmer for a local school district. There’s one teacher that they’ve always had trouble with in terms of when they’ve needed teachers to input data into the system for whatever reason. He thought that she was a technophobe or something.

      It turns out she has an actual religious objection to using the Internet. As in, she claims that her religious beliefs forbid her from using the Internet in any way, shape, or form (apparently because the Internet is evil) and as such the school district has to accommodate her.

      She has computers in her classroom but they are not networked in any way. The school secretary has to input her grades for her, because she refuses to do it since the grading system publishes the grades online. She has an email address, but somebody else checks it and prints out any emails she needs to see and delivers them to her. And so on.

      I am absolutely fascinated by this. I would really love to sit and chat with her and get an idea of what is and isn’t allowed in her world.

      1. Detective Amy Santiago*

        Is she a Scientologist? I believe they are supposed to avoid the internet.

        That seems like going beyond ‘reasonable’ accommodations though.

      2. Stranger than fiction*

        Well of course. God forbid she learn something contrary to what she’s being told.

      3. JoAnna*

        My husband asked his boss if she knew what specific religion this woman was a part of, but his boss did not know. She believes it’s some flavor of Christian fundamentalism.

        He asked why she still had a job (but in more tactful terms), and it seems that her students get really good grades so the district is reluctant to end her contract. It’s possible that she’s going to retire in a few years, and my husband believes the district is basically just waiting for that to happen as opposed to having to let her go and potentially face a lawsuit re: religious discrimination. (Although, as my husband also said, “Good luck filing a lawsuit without using the Internet.”)

        1. Noobtastic*

          If she can get someone else to print out her emails for her, she can hire a lawyer, even without the internet. The phone book is still published, after all. And librarians will help you find phone numbers, if necessary.

          She could certainly sue, if she wanted to.

    3. Noobtastic*

      But, the literal devil has been around since Adam and Eve, and computers, even in their simplest form, have only been around since the early-to-mid 19th century. So, that just doesn’t make any sense.

      If they are the literal devil’s current incarnation, I wonder what inanimate object he was, before.

  48. C Average*

    I used to work for a large coffee chain that slant-rhymes with Warbucks, awe would periodically get edicts from corporate about some top-down change in policy. “We’re going to sell Aztec-inspired drinking chocolate!” “We’re switching donut vendors!” “We’re no longer charging extra for soy milk.”

    Every change was accompanied by an enthusiastic memo, detailed schematics, talking points, and some kind of meeting.

    Everyone seemed to have their own method of coping with these changes. Some people would enthusiastically upswell the new concept to everyone, inspiring annoyance in colleagues and customers alike. Some people would passive-aggressively ignore the new thing. Some people would loudly declaim about corporate and its asinine ideas.

    Nothing got people riled up like the arrival of new music, particularly at the holidays. One year I was working with a shift manager who was a great guy, total team player, beloved by everyone who worked with him. It was just before closing, and no customers were left in the store. “Happy Christmas/War is Over” began to play for the umpteenth time.

    “C, can you help me with something in the back room?” the shift manager said.

    “Sure.”

    “You do a lot of rock climbing, right?”

    I nodded.

    “Do you think you could climb that utility shelf high enough to reach the ceiling?”

    “Sure, that’s easy,” I said, proceeding to demonstrate.

    “Stay right there.” He popped the CD out of the player and handed it to me. “Pop up the ceiling tile and slide this on top and then let the tile fall back into place.”

    “How did you know it’d pop up like that?”

    “I used to work construction.” He smiled. “Perfect. We’ll never speak of this to anyone. Deal?”

    “Deal.”

    1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      From the bottom of my Christmas music-hating heart, you are my heroes. When I worked retail, they played the same Christmas CD for two and a half months on repeat. I may Hulk out if I ever hear “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” ever again.

      1. Teapot Librarian*

        For me it’s “Santa Baby.” (And now that I’ve thought of it, it’s going to be stuck in my head all day.)

        1. Emi.*

          To everyone who has strong feelings about Christmas music: go on Youtube and search “All I Want For Christmas Is A Goat.” You’re welcome.

        2. Chaordic One*

          I’ve heard that certain lyrics in “Santa Baby” are considered to be a double entendre. I never liked the song after that.

        3. BananaPants*

          For Mr. BP, it was “Wonderful Christmastime”. He said that after hearing it hourly for 2.5 months straight in the big box electronics store, if Paul McCartney himself had walked in he would have had things thrown at him.

      2. Purchasing Specialist/DBE Program Manager*

        My twitchy song is Roxanne…Macy’s played that song 90 bagillion times a shift.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          I can’t hear Roxanne without remembering Eddie Murphy in 48 hours.

      3. AndersonDarling*

        Every time I hear “Do you Believe in Life after Love?” I think I am mopping a floor at Fazolis. The CD playlist wrapped up at closing, and that was the last song. Thank goodness stores can have satellite music now and they don’t have to listen to the same songs over and over and over.

      4. LCL*

        I love hearing the repeated Christmas music. What drives me nuts at my local Sbux is the skronky freefrom jazz they play, really loud, early in the morning. I would rather hear the Christmas music again than the stuff I heard yesterday. There aren’t enough words to express how much I hate that style of music. If you can’t count time when you listen to it it’s crap. And get off my lawn!

      5. Hunger Games Summer*

        When I worked at a chain pet store in high school I was so glad the fish tanks drowned out the 2+ months of Christmas music. Santa Claus is coming to town is my personal hatred.

      6. Elizabeth West*

        Not retail, but they start picking music early for ice skating shows, usually around Halloween.

        Suzy *F*cking* Snowflake. Do not google; the banality will make you puke. >_<

        Every year, some little kid would skate to this or that other brain-wrecker, I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Jesus not only wept; he pulled out all his hair and ran screaming from the building.

        1. Marillenbaum*

          I will defend the Kacey Musgraves cover of the hippopotamus song, though–her voice is lovely and the whole thing is charming!

          1. DevAssist*

            Her whole Christmas album was totally charming (but yeah, not listening to it now since it is May…)

      7. WPH*

        Oh gawd. Elton John’s “Step into Christmas” still makes my eye twitch 20 years after working retail. I just. can.not.hear.that.song.again.

    2. Another bureaucrat*

      Hahahaha. You know, I try to be very flexible to change, but I could see getting snippy at the constant changes if I worked at Starbucks. And doubly-so about 24/7 holiday music.

      1. Another bureaucrat*

        (I should edit to add– I try to be flexible to change AT WORK. At home, I suck at it. So I have to compensate by being chill somewhere in my life.)

    4. SimonTheGreyWarden*

      The only decent Christmas year when I worked at a bookstore similar to Barns and Hobos was when Sting came out with a Christmas album because at least it wasn’t a million different versions of “Baby it’s cold outside”.

      1. Xarcady*

        The store where I work part-time had 4, yes, 4 different versions of Frosty the Snowman playing this past holiday season. Two of them were always played one right after the other.

    5. Marillenbaum*

      I hate that song so much. Even as someone who loves Christmas music (I will occasionally play it in summer, because it’s always okay when you have the magic of the season in your heart!), that is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad song. The children’s choir! Yoko! John Lennon at his most smug and self-righteous!

      1. Isabel C.*

        ZOMG yes. “What have I done?” Well, JOHN, I haven’t released a bunch of uber-pretentious songs about how religion is evil and the military-industrial complex, maaaan, if that’s what you mean.

        Also I briefly confused that song with “Feed the World,” the Hippie Christmas Song I hate even more. Do they know it’s Christmastime at all? Well, the ones who are Christian do, and the others presumably don’t care, and please shove your “clanging chimes of doom” up your ass, Bono. Ugh.

        I would also commit flagrant property damage to stop the motherfucking Christmas Shoes. Ugh.

        1. Marillenbaum*

          Confession: I actually LOVE “Feed the World” because it is pretentious and horrible and so damned catchy! I like to shout it at the top of my lungs when I decorate the tree. (Actually, a professor on campus was playing it loudly with the door of his office open earlier last week. I jammed out while walking by, and he immediately pipes up “It’s for research!” Sure it is, dude).

      2. Artemesia*

        I am a freethinker and don’t celebrate Christmas but many of the classic religious carols are pretty and I love ‘O Holy Night’. But the novelty tunes — well any novelty tunes wears after one hearing — but on repeat all night. Unbearable.

    6. Mirax*

      I wish that someone had done that back when I worked at Victoria’s Secret. For whatever reason, management didn’t swap out the holiday CD after the new year. We were listening to a breathy techno remix of “Jingle Bells” well into March.

    7. JoAnna*

      I once had a coworker who played Last Christmas over and over and over in our open office. I wanted to murder him.

      2. CrazyEngineerGirl*

        I so would make up my own lyrics and start singing along… LOUDLY. Something like…

        This Christmas I murdered Fergus
        And the very next day I hid him away
        Next year he won’t be here
        And we’ll listen to something else then… else then

        1. EE*

          You may be somebody who would benefit from the parody album “A Very Scary Solstice”, which is inspired by the work of HP Lovecraft and sounds oh so very similar to the real songs.

          Sample lyrics:

          Awake Ye Scary Great Ones and let mankind dismay/ Remember Great C’thulhu shall rise up from Rh’lyeh/ To kill us all with tentacles if we should come his way/ Oh, tidings of madness and woe/ Madness and woe/ Oh, tidings of madness and woe.

    8. This Daydreamer*

      When I first started at my old job (B&N) we had tapes that we would play in the store. Every now and then Corporate would send us new ones. They only sent us one Christmas tape. They sent it in early October. The store manager would start playing that one Christmas tape exclusively the day we got it and would hide all of the others. The assistant manager’s, being sane and good, would hide the Christmas tape and play the others until Thanksgiving. This back and forth happened just about every day and was hilarious.

      1. This Daydreamer*

        And pardon me while I throw a tantrum because autocorrect put as apostrophe in managers where IT DOESN’T BELONG.

      2. Interviewer*

        I worked in a bookstore that aimed to be a local version of B&N, many months ago. We played Christmas music from Manheim Steamroller all day from Thanksgiving until Christmas. Outside of the holiday season, it was generally just Manheim Steamroller’s non-seasonal music playing in the store.

        I used to get lots of headaches back then, which I now know were from working all day and skipping lunch and not staying hydrated. So now, Manheim Steamroller will give me an instant migraine. It’s the weirdest thing.

    9. Nolan*

      *wipes tear from eye* That is just BEAUTIFUL.

      Way back in the day, when I worked at blockbuster video, corporate would send us these promotional DVDs with trailers and commercials and music videos on them. But they only had like 40 minutes of content, so you heard a lot of the same stuff in the course of an average shift. But, they did have a passcode on them (not sure why, literally no one would ever want to watch them) that you had to use the DVD player’s remote to enter.

      So, if the remote broke, or went missing, or if the player stopped reading it for some reason, you couldn’t pay the promo DVD. But regular DVDs still worked fine! We were supposed to keep it to G ratings, but usually would throw PG in as well. It was always funny when you’d put a PG movie in and forget if there were swears in it. Inevitably, the swear would happen just as the store got quiet.

      1. 2horseygirls*

        #blockbusterforever

        Have you found @TheLastBlockbuster on Twitter? Put down your beverage and swallow before you read – trust me on this! :D

    11. Greg M.*

      suddenly reminded of the time the safety audit was gonna happen and the manager put a safety slide show on the tv and wouldn’t let people change it, even locked the tv controls down. this would be fine, it was quiet. except he interspersed annoying orange videos in between.

    12. imakethings*

      My most hated songs are anything by Bob Marley. They looped at a terrible terrible bar I waitressed at for years through college. I still have nightmares about that place… I used to have to scoop vomit out of urinals

      *shudders*

    13. RedSonja*

      I worked in a place where the receptionist started playing Christmas music on December 1st. I happened to mention that I typically didn’t like holiday music that early on. But I rolled with it, and even brought in some CDs of my own (mainly to avoid yet another repeat of the Chipmunks Christmas album; I was unsuccessful). Partway through the month , my boss came to me to tell me that when I say that I don’t like having holiday music playing constantly, it made them think that I didn’t like them.

      It was… Not a good culture fit.

    14. Bebe*

      I worked at the Disney Store one Christmas, 20 yrs ago. I still can’t talk about it. The horror. The horror.

    15. DaniCalifornia*

      I LOVE Christmas music. I have a wide playlist of them. But nothing is worse at Christmas than the store recordings. I worked at “Antique Armada” in high school and the music track was only 1.5 hours longed. Those 13 hour shifts were horrendous and they had picked all the normal songs sung by famous people. I was never so happy when January came and a new track came in.
      My husband walks out of stores that play those.

      1. Marillenbaum*

        THIS! I love Christmas music with a pure and holy love, but you need a long playlist to avoid the worst killing impulses.

    16. Noobtastic*

      I always used to love hearing Christmas music when I was a kid. But then, someone decided that Thanksgiving just wasn’t early enough, and started playing the Christmas music at the beginning of November.

      Then they changed to OCTOBER! I happen to really like Thanksgiving and Halloween, so STOP IGNORING AND DESTROYING TWO OF THE BEST AMERICAN HOLIDAYS!

      And now, I can’t stand to listen to Christmas music until it actually IS Christmas, or else it’s summertime, and I want to mentally cool down. So, I’m the weirdo listening to Christmas music in January and June. I probably annoy people with it.

  49. Amadeo*

    At my previous position as the web specialist (and occasional IT deputy for their overworked IT employee) in a university math department I saw a fun one. There was a specific mathematic software used by more than one department in the university, so the university maintained a server license for it that you could request access to for an install on your office or lab computers if it was needed. Most of the older professors in that department were pretty used to just getting what they wanted whenever I think, and one of them came to me asking to have this software installed on his computer.

    Well, in order to keep track of the licenses being used across campus, university-wide IT had a form that needed to be completed and signed specifying the ID number of the user, their office, so and and so forth and included a clause about maintaining the software properly (don’t boot leg it and take it home, break it, so on and so forth, pretty standard TOS and consisting of just two sentences).

    This professor, upon receiving this form, while he did not shout came unglued. He took it to his lawyer (or he said he did) then came back to me and proceeded to launch into a diatribe about how his lawyer told him not to sign it, why couldn’t he just get this software on his computer, he needed it! He shouldn’t have to sign a form for this. It wasn’t his job to do anything laid out by the two sentences on this form, he wasn’t going to sign it and he didn’t know why I had to put so many roadblocks in front of him. I should just do whatever he asked/said he needed to teach and get out of his way. In lots more words than that. I think I listened to him for 15 minutes before I just took the form back from him and walked off.

    To this day I do not know if he ever got that software installed on his computer. I never did.

  50. Insurance*

    We recently moved spaces. We were crammed into an old storage space and our company remodeled the entire 6th floor with skylights, bigger desks, more conference rooms, our own lunch room with microwaves, couches and refrigerators and a Keurig.

    The people who had been there for 10 years plus threw a fit because it was now “too far away from Starbucks/the parking garage/the gym” and no one consulted them on where our department should relocate to. The younger employees were upset that no one consulted them about seating arrangements and desk assignments.

    My manager lost it at all of the complaining.

  51. NLMC*

    I had an employee threaten to go to HR because as I was updating the seating chart I moved her friend out of the cube next to her.

    1. Nottingham*

      I have to speak up in defence of this, as someone who (briefly) worked in a hot-desking call centre that left every worker socially isolated. To me, this seems like a reasonable reaction, especially if workplace friendships could have been taken into account. Having a sympathetic colleague nearby can make all the difference between ‘bad job, but I can cope’ and ‘terrible job I will quit ASAP’

      Honestly, it always seems bizarre to me when so many companies talk about morale and creating a positive vibe and all that stuff, and then ignore the importance of human connections and the other little details that really matter to human beings because it’s (short-term) ‘easier’ to treat people like cogs in a machine.

      We see it in the letters here all the time: coworkers you like are incredibly valuable to people, and many letter-writers are quitting not because of the work or the built environment or the perks & pay, but because they feel lonely or ignored or devalued or disrespected by people at work.

  52. Addison*

    In all fairness, this is a pretty big change, but we’re revamping the way we do our reports for the second time this year so far. I’m the actual Reports Doer, and I’m… scared but prepared for the onslaught of “wait, I was supposed to enter what where?” and willing to embrace it. But after we had our first meeting to go over the changes yesterday, one of my coworkers followed me to my office and closed the door behind us (without me realizing she was behind me, which was kind of alarming) and immediately started swearing and pacing back and forth. She vented to me about how “these people are trying to kill me, I swear to god” and raved on and on with dramatic arm gestures and lots of profanity for several minutes… then erupted into tears and said “I can’t take this” and left. Just like that.

    I… It’s…. It’s just reports my dude. It’s gonna be ok? What a way to start the morning.

      1. Noobtastic*

        We’re putting cover sheets on them now. Did you get the memo? I’ll make sure you get a copy of the memo.

  53. Pizzagate*

    Morale was low in our department (for many many reasons) and our self appointed acting Director, Jane, decided to do something to boost spirits one Friday. So she told her assistant to order pizza for lunch for our department of 23 people. So the assistant ordered two medium pizzas and an individual size salad… for our department of 23 people.
    Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, that was an insufficient amount of pizza. And salad.
    Most of us rolled our eyes and got our own lunch, but one of our co-workers was very upset and whined and moaned that he was looking forward to the pizza and now there just wasn’t enough.
    But as I said, Jane was self-appointed. She didn’t get along with a lot of us and one gentleman in particular, Percival, REALLY didn’t get along with her. So he took it as an opportunity to make loud snarky remarks along the lines of “how could Jane run the department if she couldn’t even handle ordering pizza?” Jane got mad, yelled at everyone to stay away from her and slammed her door as hard as she could. (Something she did frequently.) She walked around all afternoon with red eyes like she’d been crying.
    We referred to this as Pizzagate. The most amazing part was Jane’s assistant never said a word about it or apologized. Some of us speculated in the following years that she had done it on purpose because, again, Jane was unpopular and difficult to work for.
    Perhaps needless to say, again, but we never ordered pizza again.

    1. WhichSister*

      So, I am guessing Jane might have been one of the causes of the morale problems in the first place?

    2. Shoe Ruiner*

      “So he took it as an opportunity to make loud snarky remarks along the lines of “how could Jane run the department if she couldn’t even handle ordering pizza?” ”

      I agree that ordering two medium pizzas for 23 people is ridiculous. However, I will say, ordering the right amount of food for people is a skill learned over time and a lot of people get it wrong. As someone who used to order pizza and other catering A LOT at at an old job, I learned this the hard way.

      1. Partly Cloudy*

        Same. I used to be on a Fun Committee and during our first lunch event, a couple of us ran back to the grocery store (down the street) to restock food because we got it wrong. Everyone took it in stride, though.

        A former co-worker’s boss once asked her to order lunch for their department (~6 people, but she misheard and thought he wanted her to order for the whole company (~50 people). From an outsider’s perspective, it was a nice surprise to get an unexpected free lunch. [shrug]

      2. Squeeble*

        Same! In my experience people tend to eat less than you expect. Then you have a ton of leftovers.

    3. Camellia*

      Hmm, my first thought was to wonder if she had heard “pizza for 2 or 3 people”, instead of “23 people”.

  54. Skweeks50*

    Two stories:
    My department previously shared a small building with several departments on campus. We decided to buy an ice machine because the fridge didn’t have an icemaker. Everyone in the department chipped in on the cost since it wasn’t in the budget to purchase one. When it arrived it was placed in a public area because there was no place in the office to keep it. Everyone else in the building started using the ice machine to fill big glasses and bowls so there was never any ice when we needed it. Signs went up mentioning that it was only for us, that the area was under surveillance, and a small group started what you could call an Ice Machine Watchgroup. All over ice.
    We have since moved into a new building which is lovely but still under construction. When all the new furniture was picked out everyone in the building was going to have the same chair. An executive found this out and threw a fit that he would be using the same chair as staff working in cubes. So now everyone who was assigned an office has a different chair. The only difference is that it is a different color and the back is taller. I also wasn’t allowed to sit in it when they had a demonstration of how to adjust them because I am in a cube.

    1. CrazyEngineerGirl*

      But… did you take the ice machine with you to the new building? Was it left behind because it’s not needed at the new building? Was it not taken because it wasn’t needed, but somehow destroyed rather than left behind because that’s what the Ice Machine Watchgroup decided??? I have to know!

  55. CatCat*

    I was an admin assistant at an office and responsible for cleaning up after catered meetings and putting leftovers in the fridge. Staff were welcome to partake of the leftovers. One time, there wasn’t a lot of room so I started pulling things out from the back to rearrange and make more room. It was revolting. I found containers of food that had expired *years* prior. In the most disgusting instance, there was a three year old pint of milk. Three. YEARS.

    I brought it up to my manager and suggested that I clean out the fridge at the end of every month and toss anything expired and have people write their names/dates on their personal containers so we’d know if they were over a month old so we could let them know. This had worked well at a prior office I had worked at. My manager, horrified at the ancient milk, thought it was a good idea. She emailed the policy, we put a notice on the fridge, and provided pens, post-its, and tape next to the fridge.

    People were super catty and upset about it! I caught two people in the break room bitching about it with hyperbolic outrage (Can you BELIEVE this! They better not throw out MY FOOD! This is RIDICULOUS!). I calmly told them that they had, until then, been storing their fresh food with old, rotting food so that was the reason for the policy. They glared at me and said I better not throw away their food.

    1. Sfigato*

      Going through an ex-employees (public) computer files, I came across a letter he wrote to HR in the most passive aggressive bizspeak ever to complain about his lunch being thrown away when the fridge was cleaned. It was all, “I’m CURIOUS why you would throw out a lunch that was clearly marked with my initial etc etc etc.”

    2. CC*

      I’m ruthless about this. I give plenty of warning and clear instructions, but I will throw everything and I mean EVERYTHING out if I have to without hesitation. I haven’t had to at my current job, but at my last one I found a lunchbox with spoiled food inside sitting on top of the fridge… and at one point, the fridges got so bad that I truly had to toss everything. Even after giving an entire week’s notice with both signs and emails, I was left with…I think at least three trash bags full of food, Tupperware, lunch boxes, etc. (including three or four separate baggies of spoiling hardboiled eggs? I think I had to send out an egg-specific email because it was just so gross). The only thing I set aside was a designer lunch bag and a few condiments. I’m pretty sure your coworkers would hate me.

      1. DecorativeCacti*

        Someone at my office still holds a grudge after 2? 3? years because I threw away her unmarked juice because I should have known it was hers.

      2. Elizabeth West*

        Yeah, at both Exjob AND OldExjob, they had the cleaners throw out everything left after the fridge cleaning notice. Including containers. After a few people lost their containers, they started being more diligent about not leaving leftovers in the fridge until the damn things formed their own government.

      3. Sunshine*

        This is me. Doesn’t matter how much notice, etc…. There’s always someone. I will also throw away dirty dishes or silverware left in the sink too long. If you want to keep it, you better take it home.

      4. Princess Carolyn*

        My last office had official fridge cleaning days planned once a month. The entire schedule for the year was posted on the fridge. Occasionally, I’d forget to take home some restaurant leftovers that Friday afternoon and come back Monday to find them gone, but then I’d see the schedule posted and realize I should be mad at myself, not the executive assistant. That system actually worked really well.

    3. Marillenbaum*

      My mother’s office has a policy similar to this: everything you put in the fridge has to be labeled with your name and the date you put it in. Anything unlabeled, and any takeout put in that week, is cleared out Friday at 3 PM unless you’ve contacted the office manager (ie–“Don’t toss what I put in today, I’m working late and taking it home with me”). It’s part of the onboarding process as well, along with “Here’s the supply closet” or “Karen will help you with badges”.

    4. Corky's wife Bonnie*

      EEEEW, three year old milk????? How did it not stink to high heaven? I bet it was solid chunks by then.

    5. Totally Serious*

      Our previous office required everything except condiments to be removed from the fridge every Friday at an appointed time. The exec. assistant would then go to the fridge at 3 pm and sweep everything in it into a trashcan…tupperware, lunch bags, etc. There was an auto-reminder that went out 3 times a week on this policy and giant sign on the fridge door. Still, every week: RAGE.

    6. Stranger than fiction*

      Well here we di the same but if it’s really gross we throw the storage containers away too and boy does that cause some outrage. A manager recently had to buy one of his teports replacement containers because she threw a fit.

    7. Not That Jane*

      Oooh… not an overreaction story, but this makes me think of the time our faculty room fridge suddenly lost power… on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving.

  56. NotTheSecretary*

    I worked at a hardware store for a few years in college. This place was really into pretending that we were all Family and encouraged our Fun Fund Committee to have lunches and snacks for special events (which was nice). We had to have a store meeting to address the fact that people were taking home extra plates of food to their families and leaving none for employees who would be in for later shifts.

    There was an entire group of people who stood up in the meeting and shouted about how we were “heartless” to expect them to have a treat or meal and not take a serving home to their kids, as well. Store Manager had to intervene and insist that everyone sit down so we could finish the meeting and that she would address anyone who disagreed with this policy privately.

    We actually stopped having any kind of food for a few months and, when the food returned, had one committee member sit in the break room and watch it the entire time to be sure no one packed any to go.

    1. Liane*

      People were really bad about this at the (rhymes with Call-Part) where I did customer service. The 2 most egregious incidents:
      1–Managers ordered in pizzas–yes there was enough for all to have 2 or 3 slices–for everyone doing overnight Thanksgiving night/Black Friday morning. Several jerks who were among the first to get breaks put 5 or 6 slices apiece in their lockers so there was none left.
      2–The store met some kind of big deal metric so there was large celebration with a meal and cakes for each shift. Unlike the Black Friday Debacle, for these kinds of events the store has one “lunch” brought out/prepared for each shift, with 3rd (overnight) starting it off. It was arranged for 3 sheet cakes from our bakery. Each cake box was clearly labeled, “3rd Shift,” “1st Shift,” “2nd Shift” and all were stored in the bakery–so not easy to get to. The next morning, the mangled (yes, right word for it) remains of all 3 cakes were found in the trashed breakroom. The woman tasked with this event had to scramble (I was helping because I had nothing to do in Layaway) to get enough smaller cakes for our shift and second. She complained to Store Manager and showed him the mess, but nothing was ever done.

      1. AndersonDarling*

        Ugh. We had problems with late shifts raiding the fridge and taking food that was meant for the next day’s meetings…cakes, beverages, things like that. So they put a lock on the fridge.
        The fridge was broken into the first night. They broke the lock. Someone broke a fridge to get to someone else’s food.
        People.are.awful.

      2. Partly Cloudy*

        I can’t get past the fact that they put slices of pizza in their lockers. Unrefrigerated. Unventilated. For hours, I presume.

    2. LegalBeagle*

      We had something similar – occasionally, the firm I worked at would provide free breakfast (pastries, donuts, etc.) as a staff appreciation gesture. A group of co-workers would race to the break room every time and fill Tupperware (!!) with treats. If you were a few minutes late, you would go without. Luckily for my co-workers, I didn’t yell at anyone that I would have to go hungry or take it to HR. I just marveled and laughed to myself at the ridiculous situation!

    3. Noobtastic*

      Remind me when I’m CEO of my own Fortune 500 company to install cafeteria style food-service bars in every break room, so that whenever there is a departmental food event, we can put the food behind the glass, and have someone serve the people, individually. The rule will be simple: You can go through the line as many times as you want, but you can only get a standard serving on your plate.

      This is just so sad that it comes down to this.

      People can be so selfish and awful about food.

  57. LiveAndLetDie*

    We moved last year from a warehouse-style building that had poorly-functioning overhead lights and lots of windows into a more traditional office setting that has functioning lights and less natural light. The CEO said that during regular business hours, the lights should be on at all times, as we are a place of business and that’s normal.

    Most people took it well, but one team in particular flipped their lids. We suddenly got a ton of complaints about how the lights hurt their eyes and how the building was too bright with the lights on, and then if we turned the lights off, they’d complain that it was too dark and that we should buy lamps to make it brighter. Eventually HR had to step in and tell them if they had genuine health reasons that they needed accommodation with the lighting, they would be accommodated, but they’d have to file official reports.

    No one filed anything. The lights are on 9-5 now and no one says a word.

    1. Michele*

      We had something similar, but on a smaller scale. Many of the offices here are divided in two with cubicle partitions. One woman had been used to having one of these divided offices to herself, and she liked to work in barely lit conditions. When she got a new office mate, she screamed at her for turning on the lights.

      1. ggg*

        My office has no independent light switch (the lighting is controlled for the whole office bay at once) and I hate it.

  58. AvonLady Barksdale*

    I’ve been chewed out for not listing email addresses in rank order. This has happened in more than one office, and it baffles me every time. At one place, Outlook alphabetized and that was the end of it, but at my first job out of college, woe betide the person who put her boss’s email address ahead of the CEO’s.

    1. Lily in NYC*

      Oh my god, one of my friends freaked out about this! She was the project lead and her boss put her name last in an email to the entire team. She went to him in a huff and told him that if she wasn’t doing a good job that he should have someone else lead the project. He was so confused and asked what she meant and she mentioned the email order. He got pretty angry with her and told her that if she is this sensitive that she is not meant for print journalism. She told me this story thinking I would be mad on her behalf and when I told her she overreacted I got the silent treatment (which was not quite the punishment she thought it was). I friendship-divorced her not long after this because I was tired of walking on eggshells around her.

    2. IrishDiva*

      I worked at a company like that – it had to be done by rank. The CEO couldn’t care less; it was one of his underlings who INSISTED it be done that way.

    3. HR Pro*

      I actually thought this was a thing. I typically do type them in order of ranking. However, I don’t look at the order of addresses in emails I receive, so I maybe should stop doing it.

      On the other hand, now that we use Gmail at work, I sometimes find having to make an extra click to open the CC field is annoying, so I put all of the names in the To field, even the ones that I just intend to CC. I’m sure that’s driving someone crazy somewhere.

  59. Stranger than fiction*

    We recently implemented an informational form for the salespeople to fill out in order to make the handover to support smoother. I’m talking they’d have to do this 2-3 times a month on a good month…and they’re throwing a hissy fit and making their boss do it for them. And their boss is rebelling ny drawing a line through most of the important parts or saying “support will get this info” which defeats the whole purpose.

    1. CrazyEngineerGirl*

      We tried to do this at my company. The salespeople were not receptive, to say the least, and it ended up crashing and burning. The thing is, I still need all of that info. And the salesperson is still the person that I have to get it from. So rather than spend 3-5 minutes at the start documenting the important info that you already know, let’s wait until I need it and have to ask you for it and we’ll all just hope that this time you remember the details still and don’t have to go back to the customer to ask for info you already knew at one point. I mean really.

      1. KatiePie*

        Oh my gosh, I’m so glad to know it’s not just our sales department. Yeesh. You’d think they’d get a clue.

  60. Sfigato*

    I have two – one where the employee response was unreasonable, and one where the management response was.

    I worked in an office with many perks, including an espresso machine. When the machine died, the COO decided not to replace it, since they cost a lot of money and we had a coffee maker. This led to an all out war between the COO and some of the junior staff. The espresso machine became a symbol of everything the junior staff hated about the COO, and people acted as if he had just decided that we were going to ritually slaughter puppies every morning. The company bought a new espresso machine.

    On the flip side, I worked at a nonprofit that paid really low salaries but fully covered our health insurance. The company’s premiums kept going up, and they were losing money, so to save money they decided to have the employees cover any part of their premium over $500. This was announced in the most nonchalant way possible, like, “ok you have to cover your premiums and this is totally normal so deal with it.” The staff revolted, rightly so – this involved a pay cut for all of us, none of us made very much to begin with, most of us could have found higher paying jobs, turnover was already really high, and regardless of the business need, it should have been handled with more delicacy. I don’t remember the end result – I left soon after.

    1. hugseverycat*

      Ugh, I’m not even remotely surprised at the 2nd example. I’ve never had a job where reductions in health insurance were treated as a big deal. Whatever, we’re raising our premiums $50 a paycheck. Nobody ever seems to mind that this results in a multiple-percentage-point pay cut for our lower paid staff.

    2. anon admin*

      I loathe espresso machines. Not only do they cost an arm and a leg, they’re delicate little mechanical butterflies that break constantly. And they’re a stupidly expensive pain in the ass to fix. You can’t get someone on site to work on them–you have to package those stupidly heavy machines up and ship them back to their maker (at your own cost, of course). I once worked at a midsize company with an espresso machine on each of our four floors, and there was a non-stop rotation of broken espresso machines being shipped off for maintenance (which meant a constant scramble looking for appropriately sized/sturdy packaging material, and naturally, the entire admin staff was female, so they weren’t the easiest things for us to carry…). The employees wanted to know why they couldn’t have TWO espresso machines per floor, one for each mini-kitchen, and bitched and moaned if the one on their floor was broken and they had to go up or down a flight to find a functioning one. (We maintained an opt-in mailing list for “coffee snobs”–that was the name they picked, not us–that would alert people when a machine was broken/out for repair, and tell them which kitchens currently had functioning espresso machines, and yet somehow people always seemed blindsided.)

      If you have an espresso machine in your building, I can all but guarantee whoever is tasked with taking care of it hates it, and if you complain about it being broken/not replaced, they probably hate you, too.

  61. k*

    I have one, but it was actually an overly positive response.

    In old job, management got away with treating our team pretty poorly due to us all being young and without much workplace experience. The oddest thing, we didn’t get office supplies. No pens, no paper. We all brought our own in from home. Anyways…one day our department moved to another floor. Shortly after the move, a team member discovered The Closet. It contained a small stash of pens, notebooks, etc. People lost their ever-lovin minds. You’d have thought they’d found Narnia in that closet. “Have you heard about the closet?!” “Ooooh The Closet!” “Oh my god, we found pens!” “There’s post-its you guys! POST-ITS!!!!” The hysteria died down after a few days once, as there really hadn’t been that much in there. But for months new hires would hear about that time we found The Closet.

    1. required name*

      My current place provides pens, notepads, kleenex, and cleaning wipes. It’s amazing the morale boost.

    2. AnotherHRPro*

      I love this! <3
      Sometimes all it take to make people happy are office supplies.

    3. Manager-at-Large*

      When I first started in IT, the department had a supply cupboard, but some supplies were kept by the department admin. One of these special items were the refills for mechanical pencils. One day, needing a new tube of leads, I went and asked for 0.5 mm leads. She drew a tube out of her supply drawer and asked: “How many would you like?”

    5. Nic*

      My second job teaching high school came with no supplies. Teachers had to supply EVERYTHING except the room, the ancient textbooks, and the desks (of which there were not enough for the number of students). Need to give a test? Better buy paper! Want to write on the board? Better buy chalk or dry erase markers!

      It wasn’t the school’s fault, and that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms I’m not going to get into. If you had dropped a “The Closet” down at that school, there would have been parades and happy tears.

  62. Parcae*

    Our small nonprofit had a big reorganization about two years ago. People were promoted, reporting structures changed, job duties for several positions were tweaked to be more standardized, etc. All sorts of actually important stuff that people could have had weird reactions about, but miracle of miracles, everything was going very smoothly… until the routine staff meeting where we distributed the new staff list with updated job titles. Our CFO, whose title and position were not changing in the slightest, STORMED OUT in a rage. It seems that a coworker’s new title was the last straw. He threw a fit with the ED– screaming, swearing, throwing things– and ended up being fired. Over someone else’s job title.

  63. Wednesday Mouse*

    An old company once sent out a missive in mid-December that all staff could no longer use coffee mugs they’d brought in from home; we had to use the branded coffee mugs (individually printed with our names on) instead. Annoying yes, but as we were public facing, it made some sort of sense, and I heard later that the company had had complaints from the public at another office where a member of staff had an inappropriate slogan on a mug which a customer took offense to.

    It was a small change. Some were miffed that the mugs were supposed to be a “Christmas gift” when in fact they were nothing of the sort, but most of us shrugged and got on with it. It’s a mug, right?

    The woman I worked with however went ballistic. She hated the new mugs. They weren’t the right shape. They weren’t the right size. They were white and bland. It was so unfair that she could no longer use her rainbow-striped large coffee mug that her partner had purchased for her when she first got the job. She was so angry she took her branded mug and smashed it in the car park, and continued to use her own mug. When our boss next came into our office (we only saw him in person once a month or so) she explained that she’d accidentally knocked her mug off the kitchen counter the day before.

    She was sent a new mug with her name on, and this time kept it in the cupboard for when the boss came round, using her own mug the majority of the time. She was caught out though – we’d been asked to take photos of us working in the office for *reasons* and of course, not thinking about it, there were pictures of her holding her rainbow mug.

    Boss was NOT HAPPY. He made a special trip to come to our office for a disciplinary meeting with coworker, and she was officially “written up” for using the wrong mug.

    That didn’t stop her. She was still using her own mug by the time I left. One memorable occasion, the boss arrived unannounced, she saw his car out of the window and quick as a flash knocked her (half full) mug into her desk drawer before he got through the office door. She ruined a calculator and a few papers doing that. All because she wouldn’t drink from a branded mug.

    3. Betty*

      I get it. I would do the same thing! lol
      I don’t like standard mugs because they are too small. I am very particular about my tea.

  64. Tab*

    Some of these examples are kind of mean. Have you never been stressed out before? The kind of stress where even one more tiny annoying thing can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back of your ability to hold it together? Usually freaking out over a tiny thing has nothing to do with the tiny thing, but usually a bigger thing that is way more complicated and difficult to address. It’s pretty easy to see that if you have some empathy for others.

    1. Blue*

      But in a lot of these cases the people who are overreacting are making other people’s lives measurably worse. And, it’s not like they’re apologizing later for their behaviour and showing some empathy.

    3. Leatherwings*

      I have definitely been stressed before, but I generally try to be professional enough to not throw a fit over cookies or sob hysterically over my workspace. My empathy does not extend to hilariously ridiculous behavior over minor things.

    4. TL -*

      It’s not okay to make your stress someone else’s problem, though. And even though we’re all human and make mistakes, I’m not reading a whole ton of stories where people apologized afterwards. I feel bad when I’m tired and speak more curtly than I should – I go back and apologize profusely to people for sounding more frustrated than is warranted. I can’t imagine screaming at a coworker.
      (I’m not going to even mention the times when someone else’s screaming has been *my* last straw. More than one person is allowed to be unduly stressed in any situation!)

    5. ToS*

      I’m hoping that this is more about the thin line between functioning and having conflict side-swipe progress at work. There is a lot simmering in all workplaces. And relationships too, for that matter.

      We seem to be more stressed out now with changes in national leadership dialing it up to an unhealthy degree, which would include impact on employer-provided health insurance and when SHOULD I retire options. A lot of people are feeling stuck, or on their own with options at work.

    7. LKW*

      But as an adult and as a professional it’s expected that you hold your emotions in check in a professional setting. If you want to go home and punch the sofa cushions because someone got a green chair and you got a red chair and green is your favorite color – go ahead. But freaking out over the final straw instead of professionally managing all the prior straws is likely not going to do you any good.

    8. Blue Anne*

      I have absolutely been stressed out at work before. I have been on the edges of breakdowns for issues outside of work and had clients yell at me. I have had colleagues push stupid, stupid things when we were super crunched for time. All of that type of thing happens. Not letting one tiny thing break my back, no matter how stressed out I am, is part of being an adult in a professional job.

      I have empathy for people’s annoyance, I don’t have sympathy for acting like a toddler.

    9. Tea*

      Nobody gets to take out their stress and unhappiness on others, no matter the reason, and ESPECIALLY not in a professional environment. That is what I would characterize as “mean” behavior. There’s really no excuse for a lot of these tantrums, outbursts, screaming at bosses and coworkers, and pointless insubordination, and I think it’s a disservice to act as if they’re just a natural consequence of folks getting stressed at work.

    10. Tab*

      Never said taking shit out on other was ok. Never said acting juvenile was ok. Never said any of it was ok. What I’m saying is automatically judging others harshly for their poor reactions is harsh and mean. This while thing of mocking people who are clearly having personal breakdowns is just gross.

      1. Zombii*

        No one’s judging. We’re laughing nervously because we all know how easy it would be to do exactly the same thing, in the right circumstances, if the right buttons were pressed.

        If you’re not into the conversation in this comment section, you’re welcome to bail at any time. I do that myself, frequently, instead of making an ass of myself decrying the stories of fellow internet strangers. :)

  65. Master Bean Counter*

    Two stories:
    We had a scale worker that would go out and push stalled trucks off the scale. She was told repeatedly not to do this as she was no spring chicken and had the muscle mass of a marshmallow. She had even previously strained her back pushing a truck. Workman’s comp claim and all. She threw an fit and filed a grievance when she was told that she was to not step outside of the scale house during her working hours. She was eventually fired, for pushing a truck off the scale. Tried to get the union to file a discrimination grievance, because surely they wouldn’t tell a man not to do that.

    Had a coworker flip out earlier this week because I didn’t update a pivot table that I didn’t see in a file that I sent to a consultant. The consultant didn’t use that pivot table for anything either. This was just one incident in a week long fight as I take over her last task with this company as she eases into (fights strongly against…) retirement.

  66. Temperance*

    My office implemented a clock-in system for non-exempt employees after apparently not having a time clock for many years.

    The amount of meetings about this (insignificant) change was hilarious, but my favorite thing was how everyone became nitpicky about everything and started fighting with each other. There are some secretaries here who smoke A LOT, and the other secretaries were getting pissy about having to clock in and out for lunch while other people were smoking 8 times/day.

    This happened like 2 years ago at this point … and there is still animosity between the smokers and nonsmokers. It’s hilarious.

    1. jhhj*

      I’m with the nonsmokers here. In places that are really anal about your work hours/clocking in and out/taking even the smallest break, when the smokers get a pile of paid breaks and no one else does, it’s incredibly disenheartening.

      1. Temperance*

        The thing that I don’t understand, though, is that literally nothing changed. Literally nothing. They just had to clock in and out. Smokers were already getting a lot of breaks.

      2. Ramona Flowers*

        So walk outside without smoking?

        Never understood why people with this complaint don’t do this.

        1. Lissa*

          I used to do this at my job and smokers would get weirdly pissy about it! Except for one awesome smoker coworker who got me Popeye’s candy cigarettes to take with me.

        2. Zombii*

          I’ve never worked somewhere that allowed that (and believe me I tried—kitchens are hot and terrible!).

          Manager: “Smoke break?”
          Me: “I don’t smoke. Just need some fresh air.”
          Manager: “If you don’t smoke, we need you working.”

        3. Anonymous 40*

          Or the smokers could just work the same schedule as everyone else, rather than being rewarded for an addiction.

    2. Bow Ties Are Cool*

      Long, long ago at a temp job that had time clocks, the employer solved that by making people clock out for smoke breaks. Suddenly everyone who smoked was working an hour later to make their 40…

    3. Jean*

      I don’t know, I kind of sympathize with this one. As a non-smoker who used to work in retail, it used to bother me quite a lot that the smokers got to take several extra breaks during their shifts to go out and have a cigarette (without clocking out), while the rest of us were chained to our registers. It was maddening.

      1. Temperance*

        I sympathize with the annoyance that smokers take a ton of breaks … but they literally always have. Nothing has changed. That’s why I’m genuinely confused at the anger.

        1. Morning Glory*

          Maybe some of them had previously not deducted 15-20 min to grab lunch or go to the bank from their time-sheets previously under the justification that it was still less time away from their desks than the smokers were taking.

          If so, then in addition to feeling patronized by being forced to clock-in/out, they’re also feeling the unfairness of the double standard that they had previously self-corrected (even if that self-correction meant bending the rules).

          I am guessing from your wording that you are exempt, and don’t have to clock in/out?

          1. Terry*

            When I worked in a retail environment where all my coworkers smoked and typically got an extra 20-40 minutes paid break per day as a result, I didn’t worry too much about watching the clock on my break. I didn’t intentionally string it out, but I wouldn’t worry about taking an extra 5-10 minutes because I wanted to finish this chapter of my book or I’d been running an errand. If I needed to clock in and out rather than writing a timesheet I would be dinged for the 5 minutes of reading but my coworkers would not be for the 20 minutes of smoking. It would never have been acceptable for me to just walk outside and stand around without smoking for 5 minutes every now and then and colleagues used to actively encourage me to take up smoking for the express purpose of getting more breaks.

      2. NoBadCats*

        And this is why, as a smoker, I don’t smoke on the clock. I take my last cig on the walk from the train to work, then my next one is during the reverse trip. I have been smoking since college, so it’s not like I’m a casual smoker. Once I’m home and in my own room it’s smoke-o-rama.

        I’ve had loads of co-irkers express surprise when they discover that I smoke at all, since they say they’ve never smelt it on me and I never duck out for a smoke during the day. I’m super self-conscious when I realize that some of my clothes are carrying smoke scent, I hate it and I’ll be forced to quit soon thank goodness. I’ve have loads of doctor appointments the past couple of months, none of which had even a moment in which my smoking was addressed (admittedly, I have an ugly health problem which takes priority at the moment), but I’m shocked that there’s never been a moment after the “And how much do you smoke each day?” “Um… just under a pack a day during the week, because I won’t smoke at work. But evenings and at the weekend, my intake is greater.” “Okay. So about this [horrible other health issue].”

        So, honestly, as a smoker of over 30 years, I don’t have much sympathy for the multiple breaks per day smokers. I don’t ever say anything, because people/choices/notmybusiness, but I do have to say I loathe working with a smoker who can’t manage the day without several breaks. We had a temp who sat near me recently, who took about 10 smoke breaks a day and the room she sat in just reeked. When you’ve got a 30 year smoker saying, “Yeesh, Lordy, this reeks.” yeah, that’s an office problem.

    4. paul*

      I mean, do they have to clock in/out for smokes? Because I’ve always hated that crap too, when it’s OK for smokers to smoke every hour but not for other people

      Current job isn’t at all a problem with that (of course I don’t think any of us smoke either)

        1. Horse Lover*

          I would say it’s probably the fact that it got brought up and to the forefront you know?

          I silently complained and occasionally complained to my boss when I was working retail about my coworker would always need a smoke break any time it looked like there was a rush, an upset customer, etc, etc, and ditch me.

        2. TL -*

          I think I would be annoyed if I had to clock out for lunch and breaks and my time was clearly tracked and lots of people were taking excessive smoke breaks (especially because I imagine they’re told they need to clock out to run to the bank, for instance.)

          I imagine beforehand, there was probably a lot less tracking of the times and ducking out early or taking a longer break to do something wasn’t noticed and now they feel that it is.

    5. BananaPants*

      I’m exempt, but you’d better believe I was ticked off when my manager informed me that as the first female employee to return from maternity leave in a decade, management expected me to work later to make up for taking two 15 minute breaks per day to pump breastmilk for my baby – yet the same managers never seemed to notice or care that our handful of smokers went out to smoke for 10-15 minutes 4-6 times a day. They wasted a lot more time than I did.

  67. PattS*

    In my new role as executive admin, I’m in charge of the coffee and supplies in our break room. At the urging of our purchasing manager, I bought coffee cups that are recyclable. They are still 8oz, but a little shorter and wider than the styrofoam cups. Our security team/hall monitors (I work in a high school) complained for a week about the change and that things weren’t done the same way my predecessor did them. These cups don’t fit in the wall dispenser, either. I joked it off but after a while the complaints got old. I put on my mom voice and told them if they kept griping about it, there would be no more free coffee and that I have a different way of organizing and arranging things. Suddenly, everyone is happy with the cups!

  68. LAI*

    Oh my gosh, I had a co-worker once who could NOT handle change. When we changed our calender system, she refused to learn how to use it and wouldn’t let anyone schedule meetings with her. When we got new chairs in our conference room without consulting her, she threatened to quit!

  69. Xay*

    I used to work for a contracting company with a mix of on-site and off-site staff. The main office had very well stocked break room refreshments- coffee, tea, soda, water, fresh fruit, candy, chips, etc. The understanding was that staff were welcome to help themselves to the food in the break room.

    Over time, some of the off-site staff started stopping by the office to stock up on break room food and drinks. And by “stock up” I mean they brought bags and coolers to take food from the break room. After a few months of the break room being completely empty by the second week of the month, management issued a policy saying that the break room food and drinks were primarily for staff working or attending meeting at the main office.

    People lost their minds. Petitions were organized, there was at least one hostile exchange during an on-site staff meeting and many nasty emails were sent. In the end, the company got rid of the break room refreshments completely.

    1. Rincat*

      I hate it when people get entitled like that. I mean, entire coolers???? It’s not your free, personal grocery store.

      1. Xay*

        It was ridiculous. The justification for the coolers was that the client site didn’t offer free drinks so they were taking enough for our staff at that site – except other people from the same site would come by to pick up their stash too.

    2. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      This is literally why we can’t have nice things.

    3. ToS*

      Cure it with a $5 weekly (yes, taxed) stipend for off-site staff. You only get what you can consume on-site. If it was $10, the on-site people would say that they don’t eat the food, call it nasty, and why can’t they get a raise?

      Not a surprise that the company saved themselves ALL the money rather than work it out.

      1. House of Cats*

        It sounds to me like the off site staff were possibly trying to stock their areas so they had the same access to things as the on site people, but that the company really only had stocked enough for the volume of people on site. If it was just one off site person, I would think they might just be taking things for personal use, but since it was so many – it sounds like a supply and demand issue; perhaps the company needed to just stick the off site locations as well. Inequality indermines morale faster than almost anything.

  70. Heidz*

    I worked in an oncology clinic. Management put a small decal with the clinic’s logo on it in one of the many, huge windows in the chemotherapy suite. The nurses freaked out and said that they couldn’t see out of the window, even though they were supposed to be giving patients their chemo drugs and not gaze out of the window.

    1. Marillenbaum*

      This reminds me of the intern who wept over not getting a laptop so she couldn’t work on the patio. “What if I need to be inspired?!”

  71. Library Lady*

    I was heading up a major collection move for my department in the library. Another department had a bunch of book trucks that they stored right near a door. I moved the trucks a little further into the room, and sent them all an email saying, “Hey, I had to move y’alls book trucks a little further down because we need the doorways clear while we’re doing the big collection move. We can put them back when we’re done.” Grim silence. They had an emergency meeting about the next morning, and there were rumblings that by touching their stuff, I had both deeply offended them AND messed up their carefully orchestrated daily workflow. It all blew over in a few days. I did move their book trucks back when we were done.

    1. Seal*

      Ah, book truck wars. At my first library staff job, I was in charge of sending books to the bindery; when they came back from the bindery, they were sent to circulation to be shelved. This was a large library, so I sent and received several hundreds of books to the bindery on a weekly basis. Since they were going to circulation anyway, the logical thing to do was get a few book trucks from circulation, load them up with newly bound books, and roll everything over to the circulation desk. Except the person in charge of shelving flat-out refused to make any of their book trucks available for that purpose, which meant we had to use ours. And when we used ours, he’d confiscate them and never return them. Even better, if he thought we had taken one of his, he’d sneak into our area when no one was around, dump whatever was on them on the floor, and take the book truck. This happened on a weekly basis. That was my introduction to a dysfunctional workplace.

      1. NiceOrc*

        And then the label maker comes out… It starts with small tags “Circulation”, then escalates to “For circulation use only!” and by the end there are labels upon labels and it’s a point of pride to make sure that particular book truck is never in the Circulation department!

        1. V (a different one)*

          Don’t forget the hasty sharpie scrawl when the labels start peeling off “CIRCULATION ! OnLY ! DON”T TAKE!!!!!!!!!!”

  72. Grabapple McGee*

    One time my (former) boss had a cow over the office Christmas card list/labels because we had abbreviated the streets (Blvd., Pkwy., Rd., etc.) and the state to the 2-letter code used by USPS. She wanted everything completely spelled out, and then wanted us to print the labels on plain paper so she could look at them before we wasted any actual LABELS. So we spelled out the state and printed all 568 labels on plain paper. About a week later she gave them back and said they were ready to be printed on labels and posted. When we went to print them, the USPS system verified and changed all the addresses to whatever the USPS prefers and has on official record, so naturally it abbreviated street names and states on all of them. HA!

  73. beanie beans*

    We have terrible morale in our office lately, so while on the surface it seems like some of the changes that people blow up about are minor, when you’ve lost trust that your management cares about you and your work, the most minor policy change can feel like the last straw.

    I broke down crying a few months ago over a teeny tiny duty that was added to my workload, and to an outsider I would have looked nuts, but if you’d looked at piles and piles and piles that had been added on in the last year it might have made more sense.

    1. Liz in a Library*

      It happens. I cried at work once over being told I could no longer eat lunch in my office. My boss wasn’t the problem, but was the messenger and probably thought I was nuts. It wasn’t about the lunch, it was about being super close to the edge in a horribly toxic place.

      It’s still a super inappropriate way to react though. But I do have sympathy for the way a bad job can warp your perception.

    2. only acting normal*

      I didn’t cry, but I once had a stand-up shouting match with a manager who wanted us to supervise the more senior workers at a site 100miles away, in addition to a massive backlog of our own work. I lost it because it was just after 5 of us had all been refused promotion to 3 open senior jobs on our own site, and then had to train our newly hired seniors.
      He called HR in (fair enough! I did yell at him.)
      While he repeatedly tried and failed to get me to say I was wrong for refusing to supervise people 100miles away who outranked me, the HR lady just sat there struggling to suppress a smile. She eventually made him settle for my freely-offered calmly-delivered apology for shouting. (I think HR already knew he was an odious creep – the 16yr old office junior quit after he sexually harassed her at an office party.)
      We never did have to supervise the other site (my argument being it was their managers job…), and I was quietly moved to a team with a manager I’d had previously who was really really pleased to have me working for her again.

  74. Wednesday Mouse*

    An old company once sent out a missive in mid-December that all staff could no longer use coffee mugs they’d brought in from home; we had to use the branded coffee mugs (individually printed with our names on) instead. Annoying yes, but as we were public facing, it made some sort of sense, and I heard later that the company had had complaints from the public at another office where a member of staff had an inappropriate slogan on a mug which a customer took offense to.

    It was a small change. Some were miffed that the mugs were supposed to be a “Christmas gift” when in fact they were nothing of the sort, but most of us shrugged and got on with it. It’s a mug, right?

    The woman I worked with however went ballistic. She hated the new mugs. They weren’t the right shape. They weren’t the right size. They were white and bland. It was so unfair that she could no longer use her rainbow-striped large coffee mug that her partner had purchased for her when she first got the job. She was so angry she took her branded mug and smashed it in the car park, and continued to use her own mug. When our boss next came into our office (we only saw him in person once a month or so) she explained that she’d accidentally knocked her mug off the kitchen counter the day before.

    She was sent a new mug with her name on, and this time kept it in the cupboard for when the boss came round, using her own mug the majority of the time. She was caught out though – we’d been asked to take photos of us working in the office for *reasons* and of course, not thinking about it, there were pictures of her holding her rainbow mug. She was pulled into head office for a very serious meeting the following day.

    I don’t know what happened after that; I left pretty soon after. But yeah. She was not happy about having to use a branded mug.

  75. Mischa*

    I’m an admin at a small, mildly incestuous non-profit. We got rid of the Keurigs in the building because our coffee bill was about $400 a month. We got normal coffee makers and tea kettles and since lowered our bill to $40 a month, and the quality of the coffee has drastically improved. But immediately after we made the switch, people lost their minds. It’s like we had set out on a rampage to destroy any happiness in their lives — trust me, I don’t care enough to be that vindictive. Besides, it’s free food! I can’t believe how caught up people get on something that costs them nothing.

    1. Volunteer Coordinator in NOVA*

      We had that happen at my first non-profit as well. You would have thought that you were asking people to give up their first born child. It was at the point that they were trying to cut anything so they didn’t have to let people go so I kept saying to people, isn’t getting rid of a Keurig better than someone losing their job?

  76. Higher Ed Admin with an Attitude*

    Anybody who has ever worked in higher ed knows that one crazy-ass professor who goes ON A TEAR when little things change. This is not faculty-bashing — most faculty are regular human beings and can deal. But there is always, always one who, when informed of the new (easier, faster, more user-friendly) method to upload grades, write a twelve-page letter to THE PRESIDENT and THE BOARD and everyone else he can think of about SANCTITY of FREEDOM to SHARE IDEAS and how all of this TECHNOLOGY is VIRTUALLY MURDERING the FREE EXCHANGE of OPINIONS, in 8-point electric blue Comic Sans, quoting Rousseau, Jefferson and Springsteen. Which is complete BS because he makes the department secretary do it anyway.

    1. Michele*

      Yep. My husband is a college professor, so I know a lot of them. I know some people that into academia because they know that they couldn’t handle regularly structured jobs.

    2. WhichSister*

      Never forget to quote Springsteen. My father was a huge fan of the boss and would have loved what you wrote

    4. CollegeAdmin*

      YES. Oh my gosh yes.

      We have one faculty member in particular who is notorious for doing this…and he sends out these missives to the all staff email listserv. I keep them for when I need a laugh.

    5. 2horseygirls*

      We’ll keep pushin’ ’til it’s understood,
      And these badlands start treating us good.

    7. Nic*

      Both of my parents are professors, and I’ve worked teaching high school. My mom has a saying about educational fields: You can’t make people change, the old ones just die off eventually.

  77. The Bread burglar*

    At a previous job we were once allowed to wear casual clothes at christmas time -we normally had to dress business smart with men in ties despite it being a call centre and not at all public facing.

    A male colleague came in wearing casual clothes and a hat (like a baseball hat with graffiti style writing on it) and was asked to remove it by a manager. The colleague argued against removing it saying they didnt specify that the no hats rule would still be in effect. He ended up refusing yo remove it and going home for the rest of the day unpaid. The casual dress was supposed to be all week but they cancelled it for everyone because of this. 4 months later he got fired and was escorted out by police for stealing money from the place but that was unrelated crazyness.

  78. June*

    I am the idiot in this story – My boss had me moved from one side of the office to another side. While this would normally not be a big deal, for some reason I threw a major hissy fit. I yelled at him that I was losing my community (I got along very well with my coworkers and was not sure about the staff on the other side of the floor), that I should have some say in the matter (uh, he’s the boss), and I didn’t like the new cubicle set-up (it’s a horrible design where my back is to the hallway and the two monitors are in front of a window so the glare is horrible), and there is no valid reason to move me (I am his direct report, there was open space, and again, duh, he’s the boss). I actually sulked for two days about this change. After I discussed this with my husband, who was the rational one in the conversation, he pointed out that my boss, up to this point, has been great (he was super supportive of me during my breast cancer surgeries and treatment which just ended a few days before this “event”), that I am lucky that my boss wants me around (again, my boss is a great guy), and my boss is the boss, he can do whatever he wants without my prior approval (somehow I had forgot that). After cooling down, I humbly apologized to my boss. I explained that he caught me at a weak, emotional state (breast cancer can mess with your mind and emotions), that the decision is wise (it really was a wise move), and while I am not crazy about the cubicle design, I would be glad to move. He was gracious and accepted my apology. But for two weeks, he was very cautious in his approach. Poor guy, he did not deserve my hissy fit. Even a horrible boss did not deserve my meltdown. We can laugh about it now and our work relationship is great. But wow, what a difficult brat I was for that brief moment.
    BTW, I get along with my new co-workers and I am on a wait list to get the cubicle redesigned cause even Facilities is embarrassed about the lay-out.

    1. Lemon Zinger*

      I totally empathize with you here.

      Last summer, there was some office restructuring and people were being moved around to different cubicles/offices. A director in my office actually asked me what I thought about moving to the other end of our space. I was… not on board. Primarily because the move would have totally isolated me from the people I support! I got a little upset and was definitely not professional about it, but apparently my explanation worked, and I was not asked to move.

      A few months later, I voluntarily moved to a less-desirable cubicle to get away from an intrusive coworker with no sense of personal space. I am still in the correct area, but have a lot more privacy.

    2. bunniferous*

      Under the circumstances any decent human would cut you some slack. My mom only had ONE breast cancer surgery (she is fine now!) and it messed with her for awhile.

  79. Sfigato*

    I have one more. I’m currently helping to implement a more systematic way of tracking strategies and outcomes at the nonprofit I work at. Our program people are great, do amazing work, but their work is all done in the form of long narratives that make it really hard for us to understand what progress we are making and what change we are effecting.

    Any attempt to get them to categorize anything or measure anything or try to understand any impacts immediately spins out into “We can’t measure that! How can we possibly know our impact! It’s all too complicated and interconnected!” It’s so, so frustrating, especially because the are 80% there in what they are already doing – most of the stuff we want to track and systematize they are already doing, it’s just all in their heads instead of in any documented way that we could run any kind of report or analysis on. I find myself clamping my mouth shut a lot of the time lest I exclaim “If your work is so unknowable and unmeasurable, then why are we even doing it!? Why spend a lot of money on a program if we have no way to know what the benefit of it is?”

    I’m finding Douglas Hubbard’s “How to Measure Anything” really helpful in this respect.

    1. Teapot Librarian*

      I have an employee who complains when I ask him to track anything because it “takes away from doing my job.” Well no, tracking these things is part of doing your job.

    2. Anonymouse*

      Are you my officemate??? You’d think outcome based evaluation was stripping the soul from people’s programs by the way some of them react.

      1. sfigato*

        I do understand some of the existential dread of it,and not wanting to just be checking boxes or trying to neatly package things. But the approach we are using is pretty flexible and not rigid. And it really stems from having new leadership who struggled to understand the impact of our programs…because our current method of doing business doesn’t allow for any thorough, systematic approach to understanding them. It’s all in long narratives and in the heads of the program staff. we ended a program recently that we had done for years, and had nothing to show for it, no way to talk about what we accomplished with it, no way to even rationalize why we were shutting it down other than we had other priorities.
        My initial fear was that they were kind of slacking, but that happily hasn’t proved the case at all.

  80. The Optimizer*

    We had nice extras around the office, such as lotions, a basket of OTC medication, a snack basket, etc. The bathrooms had soap provided by the building but Jane, who did the shopping, also bought nicer soap (smelly stuff from bath & body works and the like). When the soap got low and the pump no longer worked, someone mixed a little water in it. Well, Jane was very, very upset by this and made it her mission to find out who the culprit was. There were emails and notes taped to the mirror demanding that the practice be stopped. Her main reasoning was that they were using tap water to dilute the soap and that was unsanitary. She eventually stopped buying the soap because people continued to mix it with that nasty tap water.

    1. Turtlewings*

      The tap water… that they’re… washing their hands in…
      [insert that picture of Jackie Chan going “whaaaa?”]

    2. writelhd*

      yeah sanitation can be a thing people have strong opinions about and that inevitable comes up in shared spaces. I had a co-worker determined to identify and shame everybody who let the lip of their water bottle touch the spout of the water cooler when they got water. I personally just don’t think much about things like that but agree it could be a way to spread germs and should be avoided, but he co-opted a small group manager’s discussion where we were supposed to talk about big-picture company policies to go on and length about how we needed to institute policies around that issue.

      1. LCL*

        Often the sanitation argument is used by those who really don’t like clutter and want a clutter free space. They don’t give an es about sanitation, they just use that word ’cause it gets results. I am the disorganized, cluttered person. A couple drivers would complain that I would leave the daily newspaper in the company vehicle. Even though I was the only one who would vacuum out the mud and gravel from the drivers’ side, or use some windex to wash the dirt and grime off the steering wheel and dash. Or shudder, clean the mystery substance from inside the windshield. But somehow I was the unsanitary one because I would leave a folded up newspaper on the floor of the passenger side of a vehicle that usually was only driven by one person. Jerks.

    3. Amber Rose*

      She’s not wrong. You aren’t supposed to dilute soap with tap water because bacteria grows where water is, and liquid soaps typically have organic elements to them. The kind bacteria loves to eat. In other words, if you dilute your soap, instead of cleaning your hands you’re now bathing them in the beginnings of mold.

      Her reaction was ridiculous, mind you. But it is unsanitary to dilute soap.

    4. Insurance*

      I am baffled by this. Did she also bring in spring water for people to wash their hands with so the soap never met or mixed with tap water ever?

    5. Lemon Zinger*

      I don’t blame her for being upset. You should NEVER mix tap water with soap. That defeats the purpose.

        1. Nic*

          Not, in this case. You can mix soap with tap water when you’re washing your hands and there’s no issue, but if you pour water into the soap and leave them together you start growing colonies of ick.

  81. Me2*

    In another lifetime I worked for a very large company which was building a new 15 story headquarters office building. I was employed by the company but spent most of my days working with the building contractors. As we got closer to occupancy, the company decided that all employees would be given a tour of the new building and facilities, and I gave probably 90% of the tours. Each tour consisted of 10 to 20 people, usually by department or team, so most employees were with their direct manager, and each tour was taken to the floor or area where their new workspaces were located at some point during the tour. The entire building was brand new, and had offices, cubicles, shared workspaces, and all the ancillary facilities like an employee cafeteria and gym. Most people were thrilled to be able to see the new space. However, at one of my tours, a group of data entry clerks and their manager, one of the clerks absolutely lost her marbles because she didn’t like, are you ready for it?, the colors of fabric chosen for the cubicle walls. She wanted to know who she should talk to in order to DEMAND that the colors be changed, not just for her department’s cubicles but for the entire building, over a thousand cubicles that were already there! Yeah, not happening. Her manager shushed her but throughout the rest of the tour she kept coming up to me and ordering me to tell her who she should follow up with. Then we got to our last stop, the cafeteria. Remember, the entire building was brand new, we built it from an empty lot, so it was all state of the art for the time and the company gave one of the most beautiful spaces with an amazing view to this cafeteria when they easily could have used it for C-suite offices. She stood in the space screaming at me that there were microwaves along one wall and that the company was trying to poison her. The contractor management team happened to be in the space, people I usually worked with when I wasn’t giving the tours, and they swarmed me to protect me because they thought she was going to hit me. I was suddenly surrounded by big burly guys (I’m a very petite female) in hard hats offering to “escort” her out of the building. Her manager quickly got her out of there and I finished the tour. I thought the incident was funny and mostly “not my monkeys, not my circus” but about a week later I received an enormous bouquet from the general contractor’s office, which triggered one of the owners of my company asking me what happened. After I told her, she contacted the employee, sat her down, listened to her complaints about the fabric and microwaves, and very gently suggested that the woman find employment elsewhere if she couldn’t be happy in the new environment. I was so impressed by the owner taking the time to listen to this employee, especially after she (the owner) had been pouring her time and resources into creating this amazing building; she was a class act. The employee was able to voluntarily quit and we all moved on (and into the new building).

  82. Cube Ninja*

    At my last company, we did most of our hiring via temp-to-hire. Come in, do the job for 90 days, if everything is kosher, get hired. It was -very- uncommon for us not to complete conversions because the agencies we worked with generally brought us good candidates.

    We had one guy who was a good worker, quiet, asked smart questions, did his job well. At some point, our department needed to adjust slightly to make room for some expansion in another team. This necessitated a few cube moves, as one might expect. Said worker who had given absolutely no outward signs of weirdness informed his manager that he did not wish to move desks and would quit if they moved him.

    Manager stared at him for a minute, said “ok”, and asked for his badge, then walked him out.

  83. Michele*

    We had a woman cry and slam something down on the counter while releasing expletives because we weren’t allowed to sign on someone’s behalf any more. To be clear, I am not talking about signing your own name because you were delegated a responsibility. I am talking about “Jane Smith for Bill Jones” without Bill Jones ever seeing it.

  84. HisGirlFriday*

    OMG, so many.

    * We have mandatory images for our e-mail signatures that must be changed every month. We have had them for 12 years. Our office manager routinely “forgets” to do it, then whinges she doesn’t know how to do it, then asks me (a director) to do it for her.

    * At our yearly strategic plan meeting, several of the committees I am staff liaison for mentioned, ‘Oh, HisGirl creates appointments for our calendars and that makes it easy to schedule around meetings!’ That has now become mandatory and two office mates (office manager and quasi-director) have pitched unholy fits about it because they ‘don’t know how’ and it’s ‘too hard to learn’ and ‘it’s too complicated.’

    Y’all, we freaking use Outlook for our calendar, and we already create appointments on the calendar to book the conference rooms, so all we’re actually doing is inviting people to the event we’re already creating.

    * With various staffing changes (which is another whole issue in and of itself; let’s lose 60+ hours of staffing time per week and still expect everything to get done in an office of five people, sure!), two people (office manager and quasi-director) are no longer able to take lunch together and go shopping, but must stagger their lunches so we have phone coverage (office manager can’t go until receptionist gets back) and that is The End Of The World As We Know It.

    1. House of Cats*

      One of the most important aspects of employee job satisfaction is whether employees feel like they have work friends. When doing employee happiness surveys, one common question is, “Do you have a good friend at work?”, or something along those lines. Although there was clearly a logical reason for the schedule change, I can 100% see why they would be REALLY upset about something that dramatically affects their quality of life and happiness every day. Anytime you split up work friends, you can expect a huge backlash- regardless of the reason.

    2. Writelhd*

      Im curious what context would require changing images in email signatures one a month, that seems an unusually rigorous use of email

      2. Nottingham*

        I’ve seen email sigs that advertise upcoming events the org is doing, with new event names, times, dates and places, so that doesn’t bother me.

        Someone claiming they can’t learn a simple thing to do their own job, though? Wow. Especially considering there are probably, like, Youtube instructional videos and wikiHow diagrams out there.

  85. Amber T*

    During my time as receptionist/office assistant, I was tasked to get the snacks in order. Our groundskeeper was the one who ordered the snacks and drinks, and while he was a genius when it came to plants and landscapes, he wasn’t super organized. We would get 12 boxes of potato chips one month and skip pretzels, and everyone would be upset. So I was in charge of coming up with a system of organization and telling him *what* to buy each month.

    The first month I start, I get everything in order, make a list of what I think we need to restock on, and then… nothing happens. Turns out, we had a lot of snacks of certain types, and management decided to “run out” of snacks completely before ordering anything new. So we had a ridiculous amount of one brand of potato chips, but none of the other.

    Dear. Lord. You would have thought we canceled Christmas. Keep in mind, these are professional adults who have been in the work place for YEARS, freaking out because we don’t have the right flavor of chips, or we’re missing pretzels, or whatnot (meanwhile, as a recentish grad who came from an awful, toxic first job, I was thrilled we had so many free snacks, even if I didn’t like all of them). But it was made known that *I* was in charge of ordering snacks, so I got most of the criticism. “Why aren’t your ordering these?” “What happened to this?” Ugh. Building management eventually caved and started ordering snacks again, but what a way to start a new job!

    There was also that time that the person in charge of ordering milk for coffee (someone separate… yes, multiple snack/food/drink people. It’s since been rectified) decided not to order skim milk because “nobody uses skim milk for their coffee” (even though we were routinely running out). I was the receptionist that day, and I spent 27 minutes (yes, I counted) listening to people complain about the lack of skim milk. It got so bad she just ran out to the store to pick up a half gallon. (Then doubled the next week’s order of skim, which didn’t end up being finished, then complained again that no one used skim milk.)

    I swear my job isn’t as crazy as described above!

  86. Anon this time around*

    Oooh, I have one overreaction that was so large and widespread that it actually made the news!

    I used to work for a large company that you’ve definitely heard of. Most of the buildings on the main campus had locker/shower rooms, in order to encourage us to bike/run/whatever to work. Said locker rooms had towel service–there were fresh towels brought in every day for use after showering. This was pretty awesome, because bringing in your own towel meant that you either had to carry a wet towel home with you every night, or find somewhere in your office to hang your towel to dry. I was a runner at the time, and appreciated the chance to clean up after my lunchtime run.

    In the early aughts, the company was trying to cut costs, and decided to cut the towel service.

    The resulting firestorm of emails was *epic*. Everyone was mad, including people who never used the locker rooms. Furious blog posts were written. People went to the press. It was water cooler conversation for months.

    The company quietly reinstated towel service less than a year later. Other cuts from that era still survive, as far as I know, but at least the towels were back.

    2. Anon this time around*

      Ah, I was incorrect: towels were reinstated two years later. (And, really, the towels were just the flashpoint for discontent around other cuts to benefits that were made at the same time. They were a symbol. A kind of ridiculous symbol, but a symbol nonetheless.)

      I just did a search, and there have been articles written about the towel debacle as recently as 2014.

  87. Kathleen Adams*

    Perhaps only graphic designers or those who work with them will appreciate the foolishness of this, but…

    We had a graphic designer who refused to convert to InDesign. And I mean flat-out refused. She used Corel for *everything*, and to be fair she could make it do a lot, but she was asking Corel to all sorts of things that were above and beyond that software’s call of duty.

    We finally hit the point where printing firms were literally refusing to work with Corel files any more, so she was going to have to learn InDesign. But no. She actually quit over learning Corel, and went to work for a guy who was the Corel King of the Midwest. I don’t know if she ever did learn InDesign (she suddenly died a few years ago).

    But one of the weird things was that after she left, we had somebody take a look at her computer and she had FIVE different versions of Corel on her hard drive. She apparently liked how version 2 did X and how version 4 did Y and so on, so she kept them all. No wonder she was always wanting more memory, and no wonder her PC always ran so slowly.

    And surely it would have been simpler to just learn InDesign?

    1. Another Lawyer*

      I had a graphic design professor who would keep old versions of photoshop, illustrator, etc. because Adobe would get rid of certain features he used

      1. Kathleen Adams*

        This was apparently the same deal, but still…*FIVE* full versions of a program seems excessive. And unsustainable. If she’d gotten a sixth version, what was she going to do? Stick it in her pocket? ‘Cause it wasn’t going to fit on her hard drive, that’s for sure.

    2. Liane*

      I can sort of see her point. I dabble in 3d art as a hobby, even though learning the software was a major learning curve for me. And when I finally decided to get New Software because the newest generations of models didn’t work with Fave Software, oh gee!
      But I wouldn’t react this way, even if it was for work. (And I am both high strung and stubborn. Fortunately, I also believe in acting professional.)

      1. Kathleen Adams*

        Well, exactly. With a hobby, you should do whatever makes you happy. But when you’re a professional designer, you should use professional design software, and that meant InDesign. In fact, by the time she quit, InDesign had been the default software for her job for at least 2-3 years. Her resistance was kind of impressive, in a Do-You-Own-Lots-of-Corel-Stock-or-Are-You-Just-a-Nut? sort of way.

    3. On Fire*

      That’s amazing. I wasn’t originally thrilled to abandon Quark, but InDesign is so easy to use – and Corel? Really? There are so many options that Corel just didn’t have… *slinks away muttering, wild-eyed*

      1. Kathleen Adams*

        I think she’d gotten so used to finding work-arounds to allow her do the stuff that Corel wasn’t designed to do that the idea of not doing work-arounds filled her with dismay and disorientation.

        Or something. This wasn’t her only personality quirk, by any means.

      2. Carolyn*

        THIS! When I was reading the post I thought ahead “Oh, she was a diehard Quark fan!” and was stunned to see it was Corel! I loved Quark – I had all the keyboard shortcuts down and most of the easter eggs too! But I stopped doing graphic design work before InDesign became the standard … in fact, that is how I tell people how long it has been: “The last time I did graphic design, Quark was the cutting edge!”

    4. LS*

      TBH if I move to a new client or look for a new job, I’ll be asking whether they use Sketch before I make a decision ;) software proficiency is a big part of your competency as a designer. But I’m also happy to learn and use new software if it’s better suited to my work and I can better integrate with my team.

  88. Red Reader*

    One of my staffers not only pitched a yelling fit about getting a raise, she tried to get the rest of the team to join her in objecting in the middle of a staff meeting. It wasn’t that her raise was insufficient. She was just seriously honked off that she was getting a raise. “Am I the only one upset by this?” Everyone else was like “… uh, yeah, you really are.” I have no idea what her actual issue with it was.

      1. Red Reader*

        I went to a training a few weeks ago about implementing change, and the facilitator asked the group for examples of change that are universally approved of. Three or four people in unison were like “Raises! Everyone likes raises!” and I was like “Let me tell you my story.”

        The entire room was dumbfounded.

          1. Red Reader*

            While this has been the most boggling episode of whackitude, we have wondered the same thing about this particular person on more than one occasion. :P

            1. Kathleen Adams*

              I used to work with a guy who, I’m pretty sure, was an alien pod. Sample sentence about a coworker whose mother had died only a couple of days earlier:
              Pod person: “Karen’s really upset!”
              Me: “Well, yes. Her mom died. She was close to her mom.”
              Pod person: “But she’s really upset and sad!”
              Me: ::befuddlement::

              Apparently being upset and sad about one’s parent dying wasn’t the way things worked on his planet?

      2. Icecreamroll*

        I worked for a non profit, and the boss wanted to give me a raise, but that meant it would be part of a new grant application (if we got the grant, I’d get the raise). I didn’t know any of this, and found out that I was getting a raise when they announced that we won the grant and that part of the grant would be $xx for me. I was unhappy to learn about this in a group setting (not unhappy about the $$) and have it announced like it was just a wonderful gift they were giving me (instead of something I earned).

      1. Red Reader*

        The max raises that year were 3%, and she didn’t max out. I mean, anything’s possible, but …

      3. Natalie*

        That shouldn’t matter – a higher bracket only affects the income above the bracket line. You will always be netting more money.

    5. Cassandra*

      This is where I sheepishly admit that I raised concerns in my annual review over receiving a raise, because I wasn’t entirely confident colleagues I value had been treated fairly in our raise-scarce environment.

      But I promise, cross my heart, I did NOT throw a tantrum about it!

      1. Red Reader*

        Yeah, she was full-on exhorting the team in our staff meeting to refuse their raises (which everyone had gotten within a pre-established and well-published range with clear criteria provided) in solidarity for who-even-knows-what.

  89. PB*

    After a few years at my old job, the administration decided to relax the food and drink policy. Previously, we hadn’t been allowed to have any food or drink at our desks. The new policy allowed us to have beverages in sealed containers, and we had to keep them on the floor. It was a huge improvement, and never led to any spillage.

    One coworker freaked out because she felt that no food or drink was the only way and allowing water or coffee would ruin everything.

    1. writelhd*

      That seems like an unusual restriction from my perspective anyway. The last time I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink at my desk according to my own judgement was in high school. But I guess it depends on the situation, I could see no food in certain manufacturing settings or like at a bank or something.

      1. PB*

        I tend to agree, but it’s not uncommon in my field, as we work with delicate materials that would be destroyed by contact with liquid. However, my current job doesn’t have a food or drink policy. They just ask that we be careful, and it hasn’t been a problem yet.

      2. Liane*

        The cashiers for the fuel kiosk at the grocery where College Kids work aren’t allowed to have drinks any more. Some hapless cashier spilled theirs & the whole register set up had to be replaced. Daughter says for awhile they didn’t even allow closed drinks at the store registers because of this incident. But also assured me the kiosk cashiers would be allowed water once it got warmer (it does have AC)

    2. bohtie*

      I have a coworker who regularly came into my office after-hours and hid my (closed) water bottle because she thinks it’s dangerous/unprofessional to have water within five feet of my computer. I ended up having to get my boss involved because she outranks and is senior to me and yelled at me every time I asked her to stop messing with my stuff. It was utterly ridiculous.

  90. Anon for this Internship*

    When I was an interning in college I stayed with the same company the whole time. So my second summer there I was prepping new business for underwriters to review along with 3 other interns (4 of us total; two on each team–west and east). I don’t remember which team I was on, so lets say the West team let both of their interns take vacation at the same time. And not only that, the regularly full time employee who also did this job was on vacation as well.

    I start to notice I’m receiving west team work and I know I can’t do all of mine plus there’s and still meet my bench marking requirements. So I asked my supervisor about it (if I needed to do that or should I send it back or what). She asked her boss about it b/c as far as she knew that wasn’t something we were doing. Sometime later that day in the ‘fishbowl’ conference room I see West team supervisor with my boss’s boss pitching a fit–full on yelling, fist clenching and pumping, and stomping of feet—b/c I had dared to question this and how this situation was not her fault (even though she approved all those vacations at the same time and didn’t plan for coverage) it was mine for being lazy and insubordinate.

    I asked my boss later about it and she just shook her head. She said that the other lady hadn’t reached out to anyone to ask for help, just thought that myself and the other girl wouldn’t notice and would just do the work.

    1. Anon for this Internship*

      Not really an office change. But still a mundane office thing the West team supervisor should’ve planned for.

  91. ToS*

    We have a lot of women on the floor of our org’s 10 floor building. All floors have mens and women’s rooms, and being 50 years old, the ones with accessible stalls have 1-2 seats. After a review, it was decided that the men’s room on our floor would be switched to a single-user, gender neutral restroom.

    I mentioned it to our admin. We had a full week of spontaneous conversations about her not being sure she would be able to use a restroom with a urinal in it.

    Yes, the women’s room remained as-is. We reminded her.
    Restrooms on 10 floors, only one other was being converted to single-use, gender neutral. Nine other women’s rooms, two a mere flight of stairs away.

    People might think she’s weird.

    Dear, you are bringing up not being able to walk past a plumbing fixture when you are the only person in a single-use restroom, and presumably, since it’s on the other side of the building, it will be an emergency. People will understand. Everyone poops.

    Then, all of a sudden, it wasn’t an issue any more.

    She must have been traumatized by a urinal early in life.

    For this reason, I am completely OK with Dads bringing daughters into the mens rooms on a supervised basis.

    1. Anlyn*

      We had a community theater building in the town I grew up in. We used it for theater, dance recitals, and other various things. I hated going into the girl’s bathroom because the toilet was shaped weird, it was uncomfortable, I had to squat/bend over to pee, and I couldn’t poop because there was no where for it to go.

      It took me several years to realize it was a urinal. In the girl’s bathroom. It was a single use, so there was no other toilet available. Boy’s bathroom was also a urinal. For a long time I thought I had made it up, or my memory was playing tricks on me, but when I went back some years ago I took a peek and no, it was still there. Still a urinal.

      1. ToS*

        That’s a plumbing code violation – not that you would know that. Even if the building is historic, they have to have options for bodily functions, EVEN priests poop! (Wild guess that it was some male-only place)

        *If* they have not set up other facilities (including porta-potties) consider tipping off folks that would care about making a change, especially if they raise funds to make a change.

  92. Amused Anon*

    My company acquired another company last year and recently switched their employees to computers on our network. Having previously worked for the company we acquired, I know firsthand that everything about my company in terms of how they treat their employees (pay, bonuses, raises, benefits, etc.) is vastly superior, but people coming over from the acquired company threw a shit fit because they couldn’t download Spotify on their new computers (as we have stricter controls wrt software/internet use than they’re used to). They banded together and forced their manager to ask my grandboss to lift the restriction. She responded with a very diplomatic eyeroll.

    1. justsomeone*

      We can’t do spotify or pandora on our work computers either. But we can use them on our cellphones ON THE COMPANY WIFI so you don’t have to use your data. People still complain. >.<

  93. Whoops*

    Our organization (multiple offices across the country) has made the switch so that no one has a private office except our office, which happens to be the founding office–basically, culture changed after we had been established in this office. Word comes down from the top that in our office redesign, we’d be expected to not have private offices, whatever that looks like and makes sense. One of our staff members quit in a huff after loudly complaining for weeks and making really snarky comments (i.e. Fergus, the highest-level person in our office and manager to many, should sit on a raised platform desk that swivels constantly all day so he can keep watch on us).

    1. Chaordic One*

      After hearing about all of the problems that are associated with open offices, I can certainly understand why this would be upsetting. The switch as you’ve described it could really negatively impact the ability of some people to do their jobs. The comments about Fergus sitting on a raised-level desk were clearly unnecessarily snarky, but I don’t blame him for quitting. It’s not like the top was listening to him or valued his input.

  94. LSP*

    When I first started at my job about 2 years ago, most of the fluorescent lights were not functioning properly, but that didn’t matter so much because there was enough natural light from a few large windows along one wall.

    One day, I came in and HOLY COW IT WAS BRIGHT! The previous evening the landlord had come in (apparently with the knowledge of our operations manager, but no one else in the office) and fixed all the lights. It was uncomfortably bright.

    More than a few people mentioned it to the operations manager (with varying levels of tact/complaining tones). The OM then called everyone into the common area in the back of the office where most of the staff cubes are and FREAKED OUT on all of us, actually saying that the next person to complain about the lighting would be FIRED!

    Honestly, if he had given people a heads up about the change, it wouldn’t have been a big deal, or if he simply suggested we only turn on one set of lights (which is what we now do) there would have been no problem. Instead, he took is quite personally and screamed at us for 15 minutes because he was annoyed that people were unpleasantly surprised by a drastic (I cannot explain how terribly bright it suddenly was in the office!) change to their working environment. People were maybe complaining too much, sure, but I actually came very close to quitting after that. I’m not a kid. I don’t need to be dressed down like that because you’re irritated.

    1. Girasol*

      Lighting! That was my first thought. Every time one person would ask facilities, “Would you fix the light tube over my cubical? It’s out,” there would be a bicker involving most of the people within photon distance from that tube insisting that it was SUPPOSED to be out, or that they had untwisted its connection ON PURPOSE because NOBODY wants it on…oh, they do so! Nobody wants it OFF except YOU… I always felt sorry for the rather shy facilities guy who so often found himself in the firing line of these arguments. Then there was the morning light switch fight. Two or three people would come in and leave it off and work under the dimmed night lights. Then someone would come in and turn it on to full daytime brightness. Then someone would sneak over to the switch and turn it back off. On…off….on….off….

    2. Collarbone High*

      OMG yes, lighting wars.

      At LastJob, the office manager decided to replace every fluorescent in the main open-plan room (she did not work in that room).

      It was like looking into the sun, and my team had to use software with a white background for 8 hours a day. My boss, who was awesome, dragged a ladder up from facilities and removed half the bulbs above our area because all of us had migraines within an hour.

      For the next month, various remote workers who came in 2 or 3 times a year would make an appearance and complain about the missing bulbs. Even when it was explained that the people without the option to work remotely really needed those bulbs not to be there, they still complained. That was three years ago and that battle is STILL going on.

  95. Alice Ulf*

    My coworker, who is generally sweet but also somewhat oversensitive, has a fit of literal weeping every. single. autumn when the grounds crew cuts back the bushes outside our office. She has to close all the window blinds so that she “can’t witness” the process. These bushes grow back full and leafy and beautiful every year.

    This has happened each of the seven years I have worked for this organization.

    2. paul*

      …..you’re not working with my maternal aunt are you? Works in higher ed in a fairly prestigious university, professor…plant stuff that I don’t understand…and is famous in our family for digging plants out of dumpsters near Walmarts or nurserys to try and save them

      1. Alice Ulf*

        Ha! Not the same person, but I can perfectly picture my coworker doing EXACTLY what you’ve described.

    4. N*

      This one is kind of cute, actually. Like, having a coworker burst into tears is very odd and not professional, but there is something kind of sweet about her being that concerned about the bushes being trimmed back.

      1. Kathleen Adams*

        Man, I don’t know. It’s possible for something to be both weird and sweet, but for me, this is too weird to be sweet.

  96. Episkey*

    I kind of had a tantrum about something like this once in a previous job. It’s slightly embarrassing now — I do actually feel like I had reason to be upset, but I didn’t react well.

    I was hired as an Assistant Teapot Painter and was part of the Teapot Painter department. I was the only assistant and there were 2 regular Teapot Painters who shared an office. Unfortunately, that office did not have room for a 3rd person (where logically it would have made the most sense for me to sit), so I was put in a different room with the Teapot Designers. Important to note here is that the person who previously held my position had been in that same room/same desk with the Teapot Designers as well for the 2 years she had worked there.

    For whatever reason the Head Teapot Designer took an intense dislike to the fact that I was put in “their” room and lobbied hard from my very first day to get me moved somewhere else. She wasn’t successful for awhile because there was literally nowhere else to put me. Finally, the Teapot Designer dept was scheduled to get an intern. At this point, the Head Teapot Designer raised such a ruckus saying their intern HAD to be in the same room with them and I needed to be moved.

    So, the company finally decided to move me. The issue was that they decided to move me to this room that had been haphazardly set up with desktops/cubes solely for our contractors. I was the only full-time employee who was being put in this room. It was an interior room with no windows and my space was literally a desk top with no drawers/no storage. My space in the Teapot Designer room had been an area with a window and I had drawers & storage because I needed to work with paper files for my job.

    My boss, one of the Teapot Painters, broke the news and I…did not react well. I kind of had a fit, but the thing that really put me over the top was that when she walked me over to the Contractor Room, she told me I had been assigned a desk top and couldn’t pick my own. I flipped out and refused to sit where they assigned me. I think I said something like, “Yeah, this isn’t going to work. If I have to sit in here the least you can do is let me pick where I’m sitting.” (I don’t remember why I didn’t like where they had assigned me.) My boss, bless her heart, was very conflict-averse and she actually backed down and let me sit where I wanted to within the room. I cringe when I look back on that because there were definitely more professional ways in which I could have handled that.

    The kicker to the whole thing was that the Teapot Designers’ intern didn’t start for another 6 months so the desk in the room that I had been forced to leave sat empty for an additional 6 months awaiting the intern.

  97. Discordia Angel Jones*

    Gonna post mine before reading the thread, which I am looking forward to IMMENSELY. So here goes, although I’m sure I won’t have the most shocking stuff to post.

    1. Colleague sends boss an email about upcoming password change for our computers (every 6 months, standard stuff). Boss walks over to colleague’s desk (open plan office!), screams “I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE MY PASSWORD” and picks up colleague’s desk phone, and throws it at them (and hits them!). Walks away.

    2. Boss hires a new person, while colleague A (incidentally, same colleague as phone recipient above) is away for the Christmas break. New person has two weeks in the office before A returns. Boss decides new person should take the desk opposite A (so they would be facing each other if their computer monitors didn’t get in the way), because new person is in the same department as A (it’s a department of three, Boss, A and new person). A returns, sees new person, throws office keys on desk, throws purse on desk, gives new person the stink eye. Goes straight into Boss’s office. We can all hear the shouting about how dare Boss sit someone opposite A and how dare Boss disrespect A like that.

    3. For some reason, the usual Instant Coffee Brand (TM) was not available, so Nearest Competitor Brand (TM) was purchased instead. Boss 2 (there are two partners in this office) goes to make their morning coffee. Doesn’t like Nearest Competitor Brand. Throws the kettle with hot water across the kitchen, somehow doesn’t manage to scald themselves. Breaks kettle. Comes into office. Slams Nearest Competitor Brand on desk of office manager. Walks off.

    4. And finally. Boss (1, from 1 and 2 above) wants to make savings on office supplies. Office Manager therefore orders cheaper printer paper. Colleague A (same as above) prints a document for Boss 1 and gives it to him on the new paper (which tbh is a lot worse than the old paper). Boss 1 stalks over to A, asks what the f*** this shit is (the paper), and throws each sheet of paper in A’s face (like Dollar Bill man).

    And yes, I am looking for a new job.

    1. Anon today...and tomorrow*

      I don’t know….that pretty crazy!!! You’re a contender in my book.

      1. Red Reader*

        Seriously. Not only throwing a phone at someone, but HITTING THEM with it? Loony toons.

    2. fposte*

      I think somebody needs to get your office some Nerf balls. People seem to be obsessed with throwing stuff.

      1. Discordia Angel Jones*

        I got Boss 1 a set which changes his pens/pencils into golf clubs, had a set of golf ball erasers, and a putting green shaped notepad when I had him for Secret Santa.

        He hasn’t used it yet to hit anybody with!

    3. PB*

      People in your office sure do love throwing things, sometimes very dangerous things!

      I hope you find a better job soon.

      1. Discordia Angel Jones*

        They sure do.

        They love screaming and shouting and other hilarious antics too but those don’t tend to be because of mundane office changes. More like getting out of bed the wrong side that morning and so forth.

        I realised that I do what some other commenters here talk about, and basically behave like I am watching Animal Behaviour on a Nature Documentary (narrated by David Attenborough, naturally).

    5. Leslie Knope*

      I have say, I haven’t heard of an office be so oddly physical in their anger! Throw the phone! Throw the pot! At my office the only we throw are passive aggressive glances or eye rolls.

  98. Alice's_tree*

    I’m not sure half the people in my office have ever had a non-exaggerated response to a change. Fifty percent of folks will just shrug their shoulders and get the job done, but the other fifty percent will think the sky is falling and then spend five years commenting on how much they miss the way it was before the sky fell. Some examples of terrible things we have done to these Chicken Littles:
    1. We hired an HR person. (Egads! Aren’t we horrible?) She has made virtually no changes or impact on their daily work lives. Yet they hated her on sight and nicknamed her Satan’s Wife.
    2. We amended the business casual dress code to clarify which things (capris, flip-flops, rock band t-shirts) were considered too casual. This required three meetings to explain, and drew comparisons to Nazi Germany.
    3. We asked that if people are going to be out on unscheduled PTO, they speak to a live person in management rather than leave a voice mail. This was met with a series of angry “what if” scenarios, pretty much all of which were answered with “Then try calling back.”

    1. OfficeFun*

      I gotta say I agree #3 is weird, can they text a manager? It’s 2017, that’s what voicemail was invented for!

    2. MsCHX*

      3 is very odd. If it’s unscheduled you’d presume it’s due to illness or emergency. Personally I’d probably call and shoot a quick email (text I guess…I don’t text my boss/colleagues) but would not want to be expected to continuously call back.

  99. Angela R.*

    We work in an old hospital building that has horrible air circulation because our current space was designed for patients beds and not for office cubes. There is a main door to this office area and it is really heavy. I like to keep the door closed because it loud in the hallway and it also keeps the temperature controls, space heaters or air, inside the room. My coworker likes the door open so when I go to lunch he props the door open. About six months ago, a manager decided that we should install a soft close door mechanism because she didn’t like the opening and closing of the door. (BTW, she doesn’t work in the room) Since the door has been installed, the guy has been here THREE times to adjust how fast/slow the door closes. Now the door doesn’t completely close. It rests on the door stop. When I get back from lunch, the door is still propped open.

  100. OfficeFun*

    I work as an admin at very big boring division in big boring white collar industry. There’s a few admins who really get territorial over things…

    I decided this week to request to swap out mismatched trash cans for a pair of trash/recycle in our large conference rooms- ones which match the other large conference rooms.

    An admin saw the swap came angrily to me, very upset, asked me to come over and tried to argue with me that the cans were too big, not fitting the room, would cause more work for the staff. I stayed positive (when people get petty, I get treacly) and was able to have a clear answer for each of her issues. I also offered that we TRY these for a month and if they were an issue we could just swap them back again! Reluctantly she agreed and has been cool to me ever since.

    Yes, over trash cans.

  101. Rikki Tikki Tarantula*

    One of my current coworkers likes to sit on my desk, sometimes sleep on it. He finds the Chicago Manual of Style especially comfy (yes, he’s a cat).

    I used to work at a direct response ad agency. Management cut back the proofreaders, and writers were expected to edit/proofread their own work. Not the best process, but most of us accepted it. Except for Werner (name is changed). He was from East Germany and screeched that this new process was JUST LIKE living under Communist rule. A few months later he took umbrage to a joke one of the other writers made, snapped, “Oh sure, everything is hilarious to you,” walked out, and never came back.

  102. Colorado*

    This is awesome! I love how most of them are about food and space. Few about actual work related items. People and their very weird quirks about food and space amuse me, though I am a creature of habit with my space and that may be a hill I would die on, or at least put up a good battle.

  103. paul*

    This is my wife’s workplace and this is second hand (I heard it from her/corporate HR when they gave us a heads up)

    My wife’s availability changed, so there was reshuffling of shifts and one person flipped out at being asked to work weekends (this is a 365 day a year coverage job, and she wasn’t being asked to work more than 40 hours–just like 8-4 Tues-Sat) as part of it.

    Rather than even asking about alternatives, she started threatening people, including my wife–and was (thank god) dumb enough to *write to their corporate offices* threatening the other employees, so we got a nice note about there having been threats made, contact with concerns, LEO’s notified, blah blah blah” and she got put on leave then terminated.

    It was one of those…just…wow…moments. Woman was apparently a total PITA–I’d told my wife she should probably be talking to either her boss or HR about this coworker before–and now she’s very gone, so it worked out

  104. BritCred*

    The rules were changed for the factory floor that they couldn’t have radios playing during the day. For several reasons:

    – No one could hear a radio more than a few workstations away from themselves so everyone had their own and were listening to different things. However someone coming into the factory could hear a cacophony of noise.
    – The radios were drowning out safety warnings of forklifts
    – The company had recently been told that they’d have to spend a serious chunk of cash on a license to allow anyone to listen to a radio or anything (PRS licence in the UK) . The rule is horrid but having just made the staff take a 10% salary sacrifice to keep the company running at all they didn’t consider it a priority.

    This was all explained – including the part that the office staff had taken a hit to keep the company open – in a full staff meeting with everyone present.

    The next day someone went into the toilet block in the factory and destroyed every toilet and sink in there. Basically meaning that not only did they cost the company more to repair it, they cost themselves comfort by having to take longer to reach the upstairs toilets. And of course productivity goes down which means more talks about that too…

      1. Cristina in England*

        Yeah but in this context it is a stupid rule. If everyone is playing a different thing, *for themselves*, then it isn’t really a public performance. It is simply an inefficient alternative to using headphones (which presumably aren’t allowed).

  105. DON'T TOUCH MY LETTUCE!!!!*

    OH MY!!!! I have a huge deadline but I am totally wasting time here in order to tell you all the tale of Liz and her Tupperware container.

    Our office had a large kitchen with two full sized fridges. About once every 3 months a sign would go on the doors warning you of the impending clean out of anything left in the fridge over the coming weekend. This was not the first time this had happened, it was a regular occurrence.

    The signs would go up on a Monday and the clean out happened that weekend. I need to stress the signs were LARGE and covered most of the front of the fridge doors. They would also send an email to the whole office telling them that the clean out was happening that weekend.

    Liz was in the office that week, and she used the fridges every day so it’s not like she was on vacation and didn’t have any notice. I know she used the fridges every day because she brought in large, elaborate items to prepare a daily salad, all of which took up lots of space in the fridges, which people bitched about, but that is a story for another time.

    So the weekend comes, the clean out happens and then Monday morning when Liz went to load the fridge with her lunch she realized that she had left a Tupperware container full of lettuce in the fridge that has now been discarded.

    The freakout that happened was amazing. I’m talking about full on screaming, tears, swearing. Yelling at the administrative assistant who puts the signs up and schedules the cleaning crew to do the clean up, yelling at anyone who tried to actually help calm her down, yelling at her desk into her phone after she called her husband to tell him “THEY ALL HATE ME! THEY THREW OUT MY LETTUCE!!! THEY KNEW IT WAS MY LETTUCE BUT THEY DIDN’T CARE! THEY THREW IT OUT ANYWAY!!”

    Her manager tried to get her to go to HR with him so they could try to contain the crazy but that only made it worse. The yelling changed to them trying to silence her and she wasn’t going to be quiet anymore about all the bullying she endured from coworkers.

    The majority of us just hid at our desks and tried to pretend we were invisible and that nothing unusual was going on. A few folks really did try to help and then realized quickly this was not something they could fix and slunk away.

    Her manager threatened to call the police on her if she didn’t go to HR with him and she finally stomped away and the screaming continued in HR. She was sent home for the day, was given a verbal warning about her actions.

    But amazingly she showed up for work the next day and acted like nothing had happened the day before. She continued to work there for 2 more years with no other incidents. She declined to follow up with HR on her bullying accusations.

    None of us have any idea what the hell happened to cause such an over reaction that day in a normally calm coworker. But the stories still crop up from time to time.

    2. Michelle*

      We had something similar happen where I work. “Joan” worked as an admin asst. Her son “Jason” was the A/V manager. Joan resigned and moved back to home state. She had left a frozen meal in the work fridges. Signs went up that the refrigerator was being cleaned and any outdated food or condiments would be trashed. Housekeeping trashed the frozen meal Joan left because it was expired by over a year. And it was seafood. Jason LOST his mind. Ranting about how he planning to eat that meal that day and now he had nothing to eat! He went on for hours. Now, we have a cafe and he could have gone up and gotten a meal and charged it if he really didn’t have anything else but no. He just acted like it was insane for them to throw out a expired for over a year seafood frozen mela.

      1. DON'T TOUCH MY LETTUCE!!!!*

        Michelle – that is amazing too. I wonder if he called his mom and complained too.

  106. Feline*

    The company I worked for purchased another company, and their employees came to work in our office. For a while, they operated a mixed network, where the former employees of PurcahsedCompany had access to more of the internet than the much more restricted subset that CurrentJob allowed. PurchasedCompany employees surfed Facebook, and Twitter in cubicles next to CurrentJob employees who could not even reach their personal webmail.

    All good things come to an end, and they eventually turned on the web filters for PurchasedCompany employees. One who sat near me hit the roof, proclaiming, “I need YouTube for inspiration!” As far as I know, he is still uninspired.

  107. writelhd*

    I know these comments are meant to be fun and light (and I made one of my own), but one thing that occurs to me, having a partner with autism, is that some people (such as but not limited to people with autism) do really struggle with certain types of change or have certain things about their environment that they are sensitive to. That’s not necessarily an excuse to throw a dramatic fit, and I think the lengths people will go to make their displeasure KNOWN to OTHERS is part of what it’s fun to snark about here… but it’s something to think about to avoid straying to far into territory that might be judgey of what should or shouldn’t make others upset.

    1. Bow Ties Are Cool*

      Yeah, I had sympathy for the coworker described above as sobbing at her desk for half the day when their working hours were shifted half an hour. I have A Schedule That Will Be Stuck To, and though I don’t think I’d cry for hours if I were forced to change my working time, I would probably have a quiet 15 minute cry in the bathroom.

    2. Hazel Asperg*

      I’m very grateful you said this. I have what can look like comical over-reactions to minor events, but it’s because I’m autistic. I appreciate that most people described in these examples aren’t autistic, but this whole post kind of made me feel bad about myself.

    3. Turtlewings*

      Agreed, tbh. Most of these are just people being ridiculous, but some of them do seem to indicate some kind of Genuinely Serious Problem underneath that I hope the subjects have gotten help for since these incidents!

      1. Hellanon*

        Getting help, yes. Or learning to have their meltdowns in private, even if it’s just a stall in the bathroom. The common thread in most of these stories is that folks are dropping their inside voices and screaming blue murder at admins and colleagues who didn’t sign on for that kind of abuse. Everybody loses their temper – it’s losing it directly at someone, at work, that’s the real problem.

    4. Both Sides*

      Yeah, I understand. I had typed out a long list of really weirdness from a person I worked briefly for (and quit because of), then decided not to post because it was clear, even at the time, that she was simply unwell, and it must have been awful to be stuck inside her head.

      This doesn’t excuse her bullying, however. She needed help, management knew she needed help, and didn’t ask her to get it, but allowed her to take her terrifyingly deep-seated iron-fisted control issues out on those around her, who were dependent on her goodwill to keep their jobs. It wasn’t okay, but really, it was management who saw and yet did nothing who needs to be blamed for not righting the situation.

      The thing is, I can see the value in being able to vent about what happens to those of us caught in the path of a person like this, and sharing head-shaking moments. I mean, nothing like a little “Oh, my GOD, how did you put up with that?!” to help get through the day. It’s nice to have someone tell you what you are experiencing is So Very Much Not Okay.

  108. Amber Rose*

    I sort of have one. The issue wasn’t totally ridiculous but the reaction sure was.

    Two years ago, the oil and gas collapse happened. We are an oil and gas adjacent company, so it didn’t hit us as hard but sales dropped pretty significantly. Christmas approached and bonus time rolled around. Bonuses were lower because the company was bringing in less money.

    My black sheep coworker threw a FIT. It was all bullshit because he’d been busting his ass, and he deserved better than that and the bitching just went on, to anyone who would listen for 10 seconds. It got bad enough that the owners were insulted and pointed out that since they don’t have to give bonuses they could just not do them at all. Everyone got a talking to about it, which I felt was crap since it was just the one dude.

    Anyways, I personally was pretty touched by my bonus and thought it was really generous. I hadn’t even been there a year and what I got basically funded a massive family Christmas.

    1. Janice in Accounting*

      I’m in oil and gas, and haven’t gotten a bonus since the year of the BP oil spill. But I don’t throw a fit about it, because I know how lucky I am just to have a job . . .

  109. Gen*

    We got a Starbucks in our canteen. Not a real one where you could swipe for points or use vouchers, just an outlet type thing. One manager walked in the day it opened, tried to use their card and when it was refused- they quit. Then and there. Just threw everything down and left. Never came back. I can sort of understand someone objecting to the loss of the cheap coffee or to the brand but, quitting cos it was the wrong kind of Starbucks… wtf?

  110. Anon today...and tomorrow*

    Somebody above mentioned food tables which reminded me of the biggest melt down I’ve ever witnessed over something sooooooo stupid.

    Years ago I worked for a large insurance company call center. It really was a great place to work and the department did a lot to keep us all engaged since we were literally stuck on the phone all day. One of the favorite things were potluck food tables. We’d do one just about every month. After about a year they started to suck because it was the same 10 people making something that took effort and the same 45 people who would bring a bag of chips and dip and then taken heaping platefuls of the stuff that took effort. I worked on a team of about 15 people and those 10 people worked on my team so there was a lot of justified grumbling on their part. The department decided that due to the lack of effort on the part of so many, the department wide food tables would be stopped. Soon after they moved my team to an isolated area of the call center floor. Our team normally had little to no interaction with the rest of the call center based on the type of work we did versus them. That, combined with our move to this isolated corner where nobody but us ever went, our team bonded. A few months passed and then the regular food table providers suggested that we have a pot luck lunch for our team. We set it up in an empty cubicle in our area, everyone brought something, and it was nice. Except for the fact that people from the other team noticed the crockpots, trays, and bottles of soda and followed us into our area. They were not happy. They demanded that we share the food. We refused. They got their manager involved who got our manager involved who then had to get the big manager involved. Basically their manager insisted that we share the food, our manager was all “hell no! this was our team thing” and the big manager backed us up and said that this was clearly a team event and that if they wanted they could have a team pot luck too, but given that we didn’t broadcast it and hadn’t set it up centrally there was no reason to expect to believe that this was meant to be a department wide event. They did try coordinating a food table of their own. As you can imagine, it was a lot of chips and dip. We did make our food table a monthly thing and it was always successful.

    1. paul*

      Honestly, we’ve done the chips and dips tables a few times and enjoyed the hell out of them. All of us bring a bag of chips and a dip of choice–homemade or store bought, w/e. Fun snackies and low effort. I like it more than real pot lucks

    2. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms*

      At my old job, our department supervisor and manager were the sweetest people. They kept track of our birthdays and start date anniversaries, and would have a sheet put up in the beginning of the year for everyone to write down their two preferred baked goods, to receive on those dates. Other departments got SUPER mad that we got treats, and when our supervisor explained that it was from her own pocket, and their supervisors could do the same, the other supervisors complained to the ED.

  111. Responsible party*

    I’m very amused at the fact that most of the responses have a few “that happens here too, isn’t it crazy” comments, and then the “well, wait a minute…” comment.

    And yes, I’m in the former group for most, but the latter group for a few.

    1. Morning Glory*

      I think it’s so interesting to hear people chime with the “wait a minute” comments! That they have a chance to explain why a change would bother them so much is useful information – it will make me think twice before I decide someone overreacts in my office, at least.

  112. Not a docent*

    I was once in charge of the volunteers who gave public tours at a museum. They had previously been referred to (informally) as docents, which is an antiquated term that conjures up images of older ladies that tell rambling stories only tangentially related to the art. Because my tour philosophy was that tours would be inquiry based (not lecture based), I made the decision to change their ‘titles’ to that of Volunteer Guides. (And most reputable museum do not use the term “docent” – they use “guide” or “educator.”) I ordered them really nice name tags, with the museum’s logo and their names -something they had never had. They were SO offended. They DID NOT like being volunteer guides, they DID NOT want to wear the name tags.

    In retrospect, I should have explained this change to them earlier rather than springing it on them when I handed out the name tags; as well as my rationale for why volunteer guide was more representative of the type of tours they were giving. I’m not the type of person who gets hung up on titles, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. Important lesson learned.

    1. MuseumChick*

      I worked as a tour guide once at a historic site. Like a year before I started, they changed the uniform from a literally suite-and-tie outfit to khakis and a polo shirt. The volunteers were still complaining about it when I started. They felt they wouldn’t get as much respect from groups if they didn’t have a very form uniform. I watch the director in vain trying to explain that very form outfits made people nervous to ask questions and put a lot of distance between them and the public while a more casual uniform made visitors feel more comfortable.

      1. Easter*

        I worked as a docent, very part time (think one day a month), at a super small museum. Most of us had been there for several years and had done a lot for the museum (we weren’t very well funded). Think bailing out the flooded basement, making donations to cover payroll kind of stuff. There was some staff turnover around the time we got a big grant, which naturally brought changes. In theory, many of the changes were things we should have rolled with (for example, we went from a “business casual” uniform to being asked to wear black dress slacks and a white dress shirt), but the new staff member that managed the docents was strangely detailed about stuff (the white dress shirt had to have buttons to the neck, not a split neck and then buttons, which is somewhat common for women’s shirts) and could get confrontational (via email!) about these details. She also wouldn’t take our suggestions into consideration (some of which she was completely within her right to ignore, but some of which were based on our years of working at the museum, like which areas of the floor were going soft and so maybe let’s not put that irreplaceable bust right there?). One by one, the old docents quit, taking years of institutional knowledge with them, but I stuck around because I loved the museum, and it was also a great part time job. UNTIL she instituted the rule that we had to stand at all times when working. This was a TINY museum. We were open one day a week for guided tours on the hour. Yes, we’d occasionally get folks dropping by with questions or to visit the gift shop, but the place was LOCKED. You had to ring a bell and be let in by a docent. There were virtually zero situations in which a visitor would see us sitting down and “looking unprofessional.” And before, when we were allowed to sit, we were reading quietly. It was insane. We suggested small, discreet stools – maybe that was the problem. Nope. We suggested that we only be allowed to read topical books that we had for sale in the gift shop. Nope. We suggested that we stand when a tour was in the museum, even if they weren’t in our area/we weren’t visible, but otherwise be allowed to sit (again, we knew exactly when there were visitors in the museum). Nope. We finally asked for those cushion-y mats that help relieve pressure if you’re on your feet (people like cashiers often have them). NOPE. I made it all the way until she denied the cushion-y mat before I quit via a probably somewhat dramatic email to the executive director (who we rarely saw, as she worked M-F and tours were on weekends). For awhile I was pretty upset because I’d invested a lot in the place and hated to tarnish my memories, but enough time has passed since then that I’m able to see it as hilarious and absurd. The best part is that this particular staff member quit about a year later, so all of the turmoil was essentially for nothing.

        1. Greg M.*

          actually requiring you to stand and refusing to provide anti fatigue mats is pretty mean. I doubt your reaction was unreasonable.

          1. No, please*

            Yes! I was given the “floating floors” argument against mats. There is no cloud under the floor. Laminate laid directly on concrete is not floating. Mats are extremely helpful.

            1. Greg M.*

              floating floors???? speaking as someone who uses those they also don’t skid or move around.

    2. TootsNYC*

      See, I don’t share your reaction to the word “docent.” To me a docent is someone who really knows stuff. I expect docents to have MUCH more serious knowledge than a volunteer guide.

      1. Not a docent*

        You’d be wrong in your assumption then. Just because someone is a volunteer doesn’t mean they have less knowledge. (And “docents” are pretty much always volunteers. If you’re paid, you’re usually referred to as an educator.) I’ve been a volunteer guide at two internationally known museums (completely separate from my paid job which was at a third museum) and I have a master’s in art history from an Ivy League university. Most of the “docents” who volunteered *for* me didn’t. (I inherited a lot of them — when I solicited new guides, I made sure they had advanced degrees in the appropriate art historical period.) The other problem with the term “docent” is that people think of being lectured “to” which is a very passé way of doing adult museum education (ie. adult tours). Docent : Museum Guide :: Stewardess : Flight Attendant.

    3. leukothea*

      Huh, I didn’t know that about the word docent. To me, it’s the correct word because it’s specific to the task, and a less-specific word like “guide” (which could refer to a Girl Guide, or a guidebook) is less specific.

      Isn’t it funny how fads in language come and go? I suppose in 20 years “docent” will be back in vogue again.

      1. Orfeo*

        It may be a discipline or area specific shibboleth that is not as universal as ‘not a docent’ claims. Certainly a cursory google shows all kinds of prestigious museums and galleries describing their docent training programs and docent-led tours, although it does seem to be confined to the US. For example, the term ‘docent’ is all over the Smithsonian website.

        1. Not a docent*

          The Smithsonian has a lot of non-art museums, though. I’m specifically talking about big-name art museums like SFMoMA, MoMA, the Met, the Guggenheim, the Art Institute, etc. They use the term ‘guide’ or ‘educator.’

  113. Michaela*

    My office is currently throwing a fit over middle management changing the rules about work-from-home and flextime. It’s historically been at your discretion, and they want notice and a signed agreement with HR, which is pretty standard, right? People are throwing tantrums like you wouldn’t believe. One dude threatened to go on strike. (We’re not in a union.)

    1. Mr. Clean*

      I had a colleague who would work from home regularly, and often “work from home” in the morning and then roll in around 11. They got a new boss who asked that they be there at 9 when the work day started (they worked closely together doing stuff that was much easier when they were in the same place). They were also chronically behind in their work, so it wasn’t clear if they were ACTUALLY working from home. They freaked out and told said boss that they were an adult and how DARE the boss tell them when and where they should work etc. Their employment didn’t last a lot longer.

    2. Anon for This*

      A company tangentially related to mine has one team that works from home full-time. Nobody seems to know if/how much they *actually* work. Due to some anticipated changes in the field, this team will probably lose their work-from-home privileges in the next 18 +/- months. We fully expect a revolt. (For the record, I’m not opposed to working from home and enjoyed when I did it. But there should be measurable results, which they are NOT producing. Hence, privilege lost.)

  114. SL #2*

    Ah, yes. Poor change management. The building cafe recently changed vendors (the previous vendor had been here for 10+ years). Lines are longer because the new vendor changed the line flow, the menu was more expensive, regular salted potato chips are literally impossible to find in the dang place… it pains me because my entire job is to make systems more efficient.

    Our entire office waged a negative comment card campaign (I also participated and left them 2 cards stapled together because I had Thoughts) and they’re finally implementing some of our suggestions. I can’t tell if this is more or less egregious than some of the other stories above.

  115. Stan*

    We currently keep our donor database in Access. A version of Access that is so old we cannot update the computers for fear of causing compatibility issues. The last business manager quit with less than a year in because the secretary (who to be fair uses the database the most and is an “institution” to our donors) refuses to learn a new system. The unending sulking, pouting, and triangulating were enough that the manager left rather than fighting the battle with the secretary.

    1. Professional Shopper*

      I have two coworkers who refuse to stop using an ancient Access database! We cannot explain it or convince them to stop. I’ve always suspected it was a weird Access thing.

      Our new system can do everything AND more than the Access database can, and everything relevant was imported into the new system. To ease the transition, IT have converted the Access database into an Excel file in case anyone needs data that’s almost 20 years old.

      They have to login to a server set up in 2000 to access the database. No one but them has updated the database in three years. It’s been three years since the rest of the team (5 people) switched over, and the other 2 continue to use Access on the side because they don’t trust the new system.

  116. The Moops*

    Our small office is in a building surrounded by street parking, which used to be free until the neighboring houses petitioned the city for permits and meters (and won). So our owners found us a parking lot a few blocks away, and they pay to rent spaces for us every month. Nice, right?

    Apparently our VP of Business Development felt that parking her (leased, and not even top of the line) Mercedes in this lot and walking three blocks would be slumming it, so she would park in the handicapped spot next to our building, which is in a small lot containing reserved spaces our owners use. I KNOW! And nobody said anything to her because she is good friends with one of the owners.

    She left a few months ago, presumably for a job with better parking.

    1. Michele*

      I work at a satellite building, and when the corporate bigwigs come over, they park in the handicap spots. The entitled jerks. If they couldn’t fire me, I would say something.

      1. Merida May*

        Oh wow, you just jogged my memory of a time when I had to tell one of our project directors that the numbers in our parking lot were essentially meaningless, and her rank did not mean she could procure the parking spot with #1 on it for her exclusive use.

      3. AndersonDarling*

        Our bigwigs park in spots reserved for emergency ambulances. And we have a small lot that requires little walking no matter where you park. So someone could die because Dr. Company didn’t want to walk and extra 40 feet.

  117. Laura*

    None worth noting. I’m getting annoyed that our President’s admin has started making those type of changes because of her pet peeves. Like recycling bottles and cans can only be done in the kitchen because it’s unprofessional when drops from a can get on the paper when they are in the same recycling bin.

  118. Michele*

    Non-exempt workers have to fill out electronic time cards here. It isn’t like a punch-clock system; they can fill them out after the fact. There is a certain amount of flextime, so if you want to go to your kid’s play at 2 PM or workout during lunch or whatever, that is fine. However, people were taking an hour and a half at lunch or leaving for a couple of hours for their kids and not logging it on the time cards or staying late to make up the time. When it was clarified that they needed to do that, people complained for months about how it was so unfair and they were being treated like children.

    1. Not Karen*

      It is and they are. Adults can manage their own time and workload – it shouldn’t matter how many hours they work so long as they get their work done.

      1. fposte*

        They’re non-exempt, though; this means they were getting paid for more hours than they worked. So they weren’t ethically managing their own time.

      2. paul*

        They’re hourly (so am I). Actually being at work while you’re being paid, per hour, to be at work, isnt’ unreasonable

      3. MsCHX*

        Uhmm…yeah…Non-exempt employee’s timesheets need to *accurately* (and legally!) reflect the hours they worked.

  119. Merida May*

    This is such a timely post, I feel like I have something like this coming up on the horizon. I recently changed jobs and I’m going to be taking over a process from another co-worker. Both my supervisor and his supervisor have dropped very ominous observations like “Coworker will be devastated” and “Coworker is very emotionally invested in this process, please try to be patient”. I feel like I have the ‘Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming’ gif hanging over my head.
    The only thing that comes to mind is when there was some scuttlebutt over people taking too many breaks at oldjob, management temporarily pulled breaks for everyone and restricted it to just a lunch. They really had no standing to do that and it was quickly retracted, but my immediate coworkers made protest signs and displayed them at their desks in the short interim between it being announced and then pulled. I understand where it was coming from, but I feel like drawing and coloring protest signs to hang at your desk doesn’t really send a message that we’re all adults and should be trusted to manage our own time effectively.

    1. KinAZ*

      This is me! I’m in the process of taking over something from a coworker and I’m new as well. Good luck! I already stepped in it as I said “I think x is a good idea moving forward as I think it would make things easier to track”. Everyone was on board except the coworker I’m taking over from. So far at least an hour every day this week about how we couldn’t possibly do that.

  120. Fenchurch*

    We use Yammer, a corporate social media group, at my company. One of the most popular Yammer threads was an employee complaining that our cafeteria reduced the amount of meatballs in the spaghetti and meatballs that they provide to us. For free. Complaining about his free lunch. A real winner.

  121. Trisha*

    I was talking to an employee about their attendance, which has been spotty at best. We had moved up their start time an hour, had meetings with them explaining the policy and about why they came in late. We barely started the conversation (I got to say, I called you in today to discuss your attendance…) and she lost all semblance of control. She started yelling, swearing, and ended up crying. Needless to say we had a long talk about professionalism and separating personal life from work. It was the start to a pretty ridiculous day, but such is the life of a manager, I guess.

  122. N*

    Situation: It’s my first job out of college and I’m working at a nonprofit. I share an office with an older woman, “Jane.” Jane is a recovering alcoholic who is in a Christian rock group with her 12 step program and likes to come in and hijack meetings with really bizarre stories about her life. She also frequently reveals WAY too much information about her life–like she’ll turn to you suddenly and say, “You know, my mother never told me she loved me.” Things like that.

    Jane is a caseworker, and one of her duties is to walk groups of at-risk youth through their paperwork and in-take forms. We normally would recruit several youth to the programs at once, have them go through a few days of orientation, and then have them file all of their paperwork at the end. One day, the rest of the team decided that from now on, we would have Jane do paperwork with the youth at the beginning of the week, rather than the end.

    Jane immediately says, “That’s not how we’ve always done it.” I set up Jane’s Outlook calendar so that she’s scheduled to work with the youth at a certain time, print and lay out all of the paperwork for her, and schedule the youth to meet at a specified time. Jane continually “forgets” that she needs to meet with the youth and makes passive aggressive comments for months about how she “can’t be expected to know” about the change and insists that it’s everyone else’s “fault” that she keeps forgetting. This leads to her making bizarrely racist comments about the youth, neglecting a lot of her job duties, inventing procedures that had never existed before and being upset that I don’t know them, etc. Her contract was not renewed.

    1. N*

      *Amendment to the comment: I don’t want to say that the woman was odd because she was a recovering alcoholic and Christian. However, she was VERY judgmental about OTHER people who had addictions and mental illnesses, which is why those details about her stick out the most to me.

  123. Picky*

    My former organization went to a phone tree, in order to free up staff time from answering the phone and directing the call. Certain staff lost their sh*t. They claimed that customers would hate it, we would be inundated with angry customers whom front-line staff would have to deal with and it would become a workplace harrassment issue. And it was just bad management! You see, we’re not soulless and cold like other organizations, we still give people the personal touch and that’s why they come to us. This will KILL our brand. There were three or four very adamant people (out of 50, and none of them were the people who had to answer the phones in the first place), but one person continued to rail against it long after it had been decided and was being implemented. Week one went by with no complaints. (We’re not sure the customers noticed). Week two. Week three. They were still claiming it was terrible. By week four they shut up and no more was heard about the cold, soulless phone tree.

  124. hbc*

    I had an employee storm out of a meeting and go home for the day because our initial plan for redoing some bathroom supply stuff was to leave the toilet seat covers in their cardboard packaging on a shelf near the toilet rather than mounting a special dispenser on the wall. I believe the phrase “You’re dictating where I can put my ass!!” was used.

  125. Arjay*

    I was the offender. If I’d been one of those interns, I would have been fired because dress code was always a big thing for me. I worked in a pharmacy. Dress code for women was something like solid color tops and black, brown, navy, or khaki slacks or skirt. Fine. Then they changed it to navy tops and khaki bottoms only. And it was effective the next Monday. And they were barely paying minimum wage. They insisted this wasn’t a uniform because it was street clothes. My argument was that, considering I’d often work 9 days in a row, 9 pairs of khakis and 9 navy tops aren’t in anyone’s closet as “street clothes.” After arguing and getting nowhere, I decided to comply with the stated dress code. The next time our district manager was coming in, I wore a navy polo shirt, a khaki skirt, and very bright, gaudy rainbow-striped knee socks. No one was happy, lol.
    Another time they decided to replace our lab coats with a different style that didn’t have pockets. I refused to wear the new ones. Without pockets, they were entirely useless, and added another hot layer to wear on the already hot raised-floor pharmacy. Nope.

    1. Allison*

      To be fair, you don’t need a fresh pair of pants every day. They probably expected employees to have 2-4 pairs – 2 means you can wear one while the other is airing out, 4 in case you’re really unlucky with rips and stains and the like. The tops I can see being an issue though.

      For some reason, any time I need a specific item of clothing, no matter how standard (like black pants or a white button down shirt) it suddenly becomes impossible to find anything suitable. Like the company picked the one season where the fashion industry deemed that item of clothing so ugly and outdated no one was going to make anything of the sort.

      1. nnn*

        For some reason, any time I need a specific item of clothing, no matter how standard (like black pants or a white button down shirt) it suddenly becomes impossible to find anything suitable

        Yes! Every time I see a dress code conversation on here, I find myself mentally trying to figure out where I could get clothes that would meet that criteria on short notice, and the answer is almost always that I have no idea. (And that’s before we even get into the question of, like, pants that don’t gap in the back and shirts that don’t make me look pregnant.)

        Employers and schools and such that expect people to buy their own clothes that meet very specific criteria should be required to provide a list of places where you can buy those clothes right this minute.

        1. Definitely Staying Anon on this one*

          I joined a small start-up as a HR person who also did all the office management stuff and other things as needed. The company was that small, they didn’t need full time of any support positions, so I did several roles. I liked the work, the industry, etc. I thought I liked the company, until things started getting weird.

          Company is growing in terms of employees and customers. Let’s make processes easier/faster/more likely to grow with us. Oh the push back. Over everything. I had employees who refused to use the new HR/onboarding software even though it allowed them, for the first time ever, to see how much PTO they had left for the year. Previously, there had been instances of employees getting shorted on their PTO because the owners mis-tracked things in whatever google spreadsheet they may or may not have updated lately. This prevented those kind of issues, but still, a good 25% of the employees refused to use the system.

          Created an employee handbook to standardize office policies. There was a near riot. Because I was moving them from a system of “we’re not sure what perks we get from our job and they change constantly depending on which owner we ask and people bitch every week because they never know what’s going on” to “everything we get, including benefits & PTO, is written out in black & white”. People were yelling at the staff meeting about how upset they were in the change in office culture I was causing. Sorry….not “change”. I believe the term used was “destruction”. I’m even the one who pushed that we provide FMLA & paid family leave, and still I was devil. (Company was still two years of growth away from being big enough to being required to offer FMLA.)

          Asked everyone to use the shared google spreadsheet to list what they wanted me to order/buy when stocking office kitchen. Whether it was a snack, a k-cup flavor, fruit (even down to exactly what kind of apple you wanted)….whatever you wanted. I was authorized to buy just about anything, but one guy cornered me, literally backed me into a corner, to wag a finger in my face and say in a threatening voice that if he wanted something for the kitchen, goddammit, he was just going to tell me in person, and I’d better remember his requests.

          This wasn’t the start or end of the weird behavior in that place. For a software company, they were awful adverse to using software to fix any internal issues. And as the oldest person there, and someone who hates change, I was gobsmacked at how obstinate these people were. And it’s not like they were entrenched in 20 year old habits….the company was less than 3 years old.

          Not quite a change per se, but when I started there and first dove in to create an HR system, I discovered that when the owners were hiring, they never did any of the basics. Like I-9 forms, w-4s. Not a one. So tackling stuff like that was one of my first issues. It was mostly a herding cats kind of task…tracking down employees on days they were in the office (and not at a client site) to get signatures, getting w-4s so we were actually taking out the taxes the employee wanted.

          But I ran into two snags. Employee A didn’t want to fill out the w-4 because it wasn’t any of my business what information he filled in on the worksheet on the backside, and he would just send it to the IRS directly. It was an hour or so of roundabout conversation to get him to understand that worksheet was for him only, I just needed his deductions to make sure we were taking out the right amount of tax from his paycheck. For some reason, he wasn’t getting the concept. This wasn’t his first job, this is a form & process he had to complete before, so I don’t know what the issue was.

          But Employee B was the kicker. Declared he didn’t need to prove his identity. Went on a hate-filled, expletive filled email rant against me about how he wasn’t going to have anything to do with an I-9. I said, hey, gotta do it. The less I engaged, the angrier he got, to the point of threatening me with physical harm. This went on for like two days, pure vitriol being poured into my inbox. I just forwarded it to the owners. Next day I’m in the office (I wasn’t there every day), he came by to sign his paperwork, like nothing had happened in the previous days. He wasn’t disciplined. He wasn’t even spoken to about his behavior or threats. It was just a shrug and “Oh, Employee B is just that way”.

          The weirdness & threats weren’t even what drove me running away. I uncovered major fraud, and found out one of the owners was signing my name on stuff. I nope-d the f right out of there after that.

          1. Definitely Staying Anon on this one*

            Whoops….I have no idea how this ended up as a reply rather than it’s own comment.

        2. Jessica*

          Yeah, and by “you,” you of course mean all employees of whatever size, shape, and gender they could possibly be.

          1. nnn*

            Yes, exactly! The employee with size 14 feet, the employee with 50-inch hips, the employee with 25-inch hips, the employee who is 7 feet tall, the employee who is 4 feet tall.

            And if the employer cannot provide the employee with a source for the clothing that meets the employer’s criteria and fits the employee’s body, the employer cannot punish the employee for failing to wear clothing that meet those criteria.

    2. heatherskib*

      Radio shack basically did this in 98/99. It went from smart business to labeled oxfords and khakis. But at least they gave us a couple months to do it.

  126. SKA*

    Our office decided to stop providing an endless supply of disposable coffee cups. Employees can now either bring in their own coffee mugs or grab a free company-branded one from the supply closet.

    You’d think they announced that everyone was taking a pay cut from some of the reactions I’ve overheard. Talking about how cheap the company is, or claiming that it will inconvenience guests. (Guests are pretty rare, but there are a few small stashes of disposables still kept around for exactly that purpose.)

  127. E*

    The change in payroll cycles from biweekly to bimonthly. You’d think from some folks’ reactions that this was the end of the world. Never mind that there were at least 2 months’ notice before the actual change, and that it had been delayed a couple of months more due to some behind the scenes fit from a higher-up. Most bills come monthly, so I couldn’t understand why fully capable adults couldn’t manage to adjust their budgets a bit.

    1. De Minimis*

      This happened at my wife’s job and I think it actually was a lousy deal while it was going on. The changed happened in such a way to where she got a short paycheck for the period of the transition, and then had to wait a long period for the next paycheck so it put us in a money crunch.

      It was one of those bimonthly schedules with oddball pay dates [not the 1st and 15th, which isn’t that big of a deal.]

      1. Pebbles*

        This happened in our company when they changed the payroll schedule, only to make up for the short paycheck, each employee was given an advance as a loan. Mandatory. So even if you had savings where you could manage for an extra week you had to take the extra money. The deal is, when I leave the company, I have to pay that back (auto-deducted from my last paycheck). That was about 7 years ago that we got a loan some of us didn’t want.

    2. Master Bean Counter*

      Imagine the horror if you change it from once a month to biweekly. Just trying giving people their money in a more often and more timely. The world ends.

    4. Xarcady*

      At one job, they changed payroll from weekly to every other week. The Horror! And we were getting direct deposit! Oh, the double Horror!

      The change was announced 4 months in advance, and timed to correspond with the week annual bonus checks were given out–so that people would have enough money to cover that first week without a pay check.

      One manager went around convincing everyone that quadruple the amount of taxes would be taken out of the paychecks. The owner of the company had people in tears in her office, begging her not to take so much money away from them.

      Many people were furious that they might have to use their bonus check to cover expenses that first week. When it was suggested that if they, over the course of the next 4 months, saved up one week’s pay they wouldn’t have to touch their bonus money, they were still mad. Why should they have to save money? The company should just not change their pay.

      And direct deposit was just another way for the company to steal more money from our checks! I never did quite figure that one out.

      The owners estimated they would cut payroll costs in half doing this, but that argument fell on deaf ears.

    5. paul*

      we went the other way–from 1st and 15th to biweekly here…two years ago now I think. And I’d throw a fit if we went back, this is *so* much nicer.

    6. Statler von Waldorf*

      I think you mean semi-monthly (twice a month) not bimonthly (every two months.)

      Also, there are legit concerns. My mortgage payment auto-debits every two weeks. If my payroll got switched to twice a month, I would have two mortgage payments a year that would come out on the same pay period. Either I wouldn’t be able to afford food for those two weeks. or I would have to refinance my mortgage, which is kinda a pain.

      1. Natalie*

        You have no ability to change the auto debit without refinancing? That’s rather unusual.

      2. E*

        Yes, semi-monthly. There was also a bit of a debate between folks on whether or not that was the same as bi-monthly. My poor brain is tired this afternoon, I do know they’re different :)

    7. required name*

      This would be an issue for me. Every-two-weeks means that I get two months out of the year when I get 3 paychecks. Those “extra” paychecks are basically my cushions and really help out.

    8. Chaordic One*

      It’s not clear if you mean that the switch was from being twice a week to twice a month, or from being paid every two weeks to being paid every two months. If it is the latter, then I can certainly understand the upset.

    9. Nic*

      I had this happen at a previous job. It also affected the way overtime was determined and paid out. For some, it drastically affected their bill cycles, and it can take quite a bit of time to get that back balanced out, especially when it’s not the largest paycheck anyway. It also (though we were being paid a smidge more each check) removed the occasional months of three checks, which a lot of folks used to catch up or get ahead.

      I can see why people were upset. It didn’t hit me too hard, but I wasn’t living check to check either.

    10. Ghost Town*

      This happened to me last year. My uni implemented changes to payroll structures and classifications to comply with the new FLSA rules that were halted. Uni kept them b/c they’d already done the work behind it. It meant I went from being paid monthly to every two weeks. Uni doesn’t actually pay very well (I was on staff at the College) and our entire household budget was built around paying all the big bills w/my beginning of the month paycheck. This was something we could sort out by shifting a few things here and there. But, the fact that my July 2016 raise didn’t cover the full cost of the parking pass increase, coupled with raising insurance costs, I was taking home less money each month than the year prior. Then add in the bi-weekly paycheck. This legitimately meant we didn’t have enough coming in for those few months to fully cover our bills. I didn’t wail or gnash my teeth or kick up a commotion at work, but it didn’t help general feelings of being undervalued and so on.

  128. Hillary*

    At the non-profit where I used to work, I was part of the events and fundraising team. We were usually allowed to have a free glass of wine or two during the party, but one staff member abused the privilege and drove under the influence, so they banned staff from drinking at future events. Everyone freaked out as though it was some sort of constitutional violation to stop employees from drinking on the job.

  129. I work with a toddler*

    Last week, I found a toy clock on my desk so I put it on our managers desk thinking it was left on my desk by mistake and probably a toy from our Mommy and Me groups. Turns out, it was our on-stage Psychotherapist’s clock she uses to time her consults. She uses my desk one a week for one hour. When she was back the next week, she gave everyone an angry lecture on how her toy clock disappeared. Then she was angry that I used “her desk” when she isn’t there. It’s been my desk for over a year now and is filled with my items. Not to mention, I’m there the whole week except when she needs it that one hour. She takes consultations at our other locations and have not heard any complaints of the like. A couple days ago we had ago taffeta meeting and she gave me the silent treatment. She hasn’t addressed her issues with me but the staff tells me after being confused as to why she scolds them for my offenses. This is our Psychotherapist we’re talking about. Majored in child psychology and she’s the one with behavioral issues. I’m afraid to talk to her because of her constant meltdowns. It’s difficult to stay upset with her because she acts like a toddler and it gets comedic but this is our work place. God help us!

    1. LCL*

      Taffeta for staff ? That’s why I (sometimes) love auto correct. Now I am picturing all my managers (all men) in taffeta gowns drinking tea and eating finger sandwiches while discussing the usual meeting items. Thank you for that fun visual picture!

    2. LadyCop*

      My dad always said a lot of people become shrinks to figure out what’s wrong with themselves

      1. Tobias Funke*

        The first week of social work school someone in my class literally said “I have a counseling degree already but I have to fix myself so that’s why I’m here”.

        I have no idea what he does now but I hope it doesn’t involve client contact.

      2. Ama*

        I worked for a couple therapists for a while and they freely admitted they both became family therapists because they both had issues handling their own families.

      3. Hellanon*

        Did he know my uncle personally? Poster child for that particular stereotype…

  130. MAB*

    Ooo! I actually have one for this. I moved an employee from department A to department B on the same shift with a supervisor who is very flexible about shifts. It was mostly to cover for a coworkers maternity leave and for advancement in the company. But it was also the separate her from her supervisor as I had the manager senses tingling that employee was over running her supervisor.

    Not only did she come up to my office to yell at me, get even more angry when I told her to change her attitude and than get kicked out of my office to deescalate the situation. But she convinced her supervisor to quit my department with her. I have never seen a temper tantrum to spectacular and willing to drag as many people down with her as possible.

  131. Wells*

    My team provides customer service at a college, and we shifted a few years ago from only being accessible through a receptionist to serving students at a big, open counter. The very difficult, very dramatic woman who had formerly been our receptionist got into the habit of marching students who needed us over to our counter and angrily instructing us exactly how we would help them.

    There are ten stations at our counter. We started out working at station three. Then, after a few months, we moved to station two. Station two is clearly visible from station three. It is about four feet to the right. The change was obvious–the roll cage that used to be closed at station two was now open, and station three was now empty and abandoned.

    The week after the change, Former Receptionist marched a student over, as usual. Everyone was busy with students or on the phone, so nobody could help immediately. There’s a virtual line up that she could put the student in, but she hated that system. So she waited. At station three. It had a “CLOSED” sign. Nobody was staffing it. The computer was off. There was new signage at station two, and a member of our team who she knew well was sitting there, helping a student. Instead of asking anyone why the station was closed, putting the student in the virtual line, or, you know, looking four feet to the right, she just waited at station three in a state of increasing frustration until she angrily gave up and marched the poor student off to God know’s where.

    To be clear, at this point she worked in a totally different unit than we did, and it was inappropriate for her to hand-deliver students. I’m not sure what we could have done–sent an e-mail to dozens of staff members outside of our office letting them know that we had moved four feet to the right, just in case? If she had waited until someone was free, we could have explained. Or if she had just told the student “Go to Office X and put your name into the computer” instead of herding them over like a lost lamb, that would have worked fine.

    It reminded me of when I swapped the positions of my big dog’s bed and my little dog’s bed, and the big dog just tried to curl up in the little bed. This is the place where the thing happens, darn it!

    1. Kathleen Adams*

      I’m going to write something that I very seldom write: LOL. *Lit*erally.

    2. Trillian*

      From my experience as a young student, all I can say is poor students. I was on the polite and timid side, so tended to be a target for the domineering types. But I was also sharp and observant, so I’d figure out what I needed to do–and it would be horribly stressful, because the domineering types do *not* like to be contradicted.

  132. Spoonie*

    A teapot design file was uploaded to the tracking system correctly. The sr manufacturer flailed for two months, so I submitted a ticket to get it fixed. He needed the file, so I emailed it with a little comment about “Yes, here’s the file that’s been on the tracking system since X date and that I emailed previously on X-1 months”. I may have been a little annoyed, but my boss (copied on the email) found it hilarious.

    He replied saying that the file on the tracking system was Not Correct and I had done something Wrong. The file that I had re-downloaded that was still correct. After 8 emails back and forth (in which his boss then became copied on), it turned out that he was saving the webpage, not the attachment. Oh, and he also tried to recreate the design file (very, very poorly).

    This man is the sr technical lead and manufacturer. And he can’t save an attachment. Never once was there an apology or anything. Another manufacturer had to show him how to save a file. My 5 year old relative can do that correctly.

  133. misplacedmidwesterner*

    Our workplace just transferred to a new email server, updated our outlook clients, etc. All of this is good, much needed, and I love the new features.

    However, I’ve lost all my autofill email. You know when you type a name in the “to” field and it starts suggesting people you have emailed before. That’s all gone. They’re being reclaimed as I email people, but I have to go to the directory or my contact list for each one. It’s really slowing me down. I haven’t complained to anyone at work but I did send a multi part text rant to my husband that continued over dinner last night.

    It will be fine in 2 to 3 weeks when it has learned all my people again.

    1. Noah*

      FWIW, we had the same thing happen when we switched something in Exchange server. Annoying but IT basically told us to get over it.

    2. AlwhoisthatAl*

      But your IT can fix this in Outlook, the autofill info is in a file in your old directory, all they need to do is transfer it. Google it and send it to your IT dept

  134. Ask a Manager* Post author

    Wow. When I was setting up this post, I wasn’t sure if it would get a lot of interest! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a post get 800+ comments in less than two hours before.

    1. Amber Rose*

      You attract the kind of readers who work with very emotional people, it seems. :D

      1. paul*

        I don’t even think it has to be that; if a lot of us are late 20s/mid thirties on up and have been working sicne our teenage years, that’s a lot of time to run into one or two really odd people in our working life…and boy howdy they stand out.

    2. Master Bean Counter*

      No, we all work with that *one* person. And a chance to tell the story that almost no one believes is just too good to pass up. ;)

  135. BathroomWars*

    The ladies’ room at OldJob had ZERO air circulation and smelled like a port-a-potty on a hot day at a chili cookoff sometimes.

    One lady brought in a plug-in air freshener and plugged it in. Someone else threw it in the trash. Plug-in lady made a 20-point font sign for the bathroom mirror demanding the return of the plug-in air freshener. The culprit left a note saying “Sorry it’s gone. I’m allergic to scented things so I threw it away.” Plug-in lady left a note demanding a replacement because she’d purchased it with her own money and it was her property. Allergic lady taped two one-dollar bills to the mirror. No note. Plug-in lady left a note that it cost way more than that (it was from like Bath & Body Works or similar) and left the $2 right where it was. The $2 stayed for a long, long time. Then it disappeared one day. I don’t know who finally took it down.

    Months later, a mini bottle of air freshener spray showed up. Someone left a fairly polite note next to it saying “We don’t need a repeat of last time, but please remember that some people are very sensitive to these kinds of smells.” Plug-in lady (who was not me, I swear!) now keeps the air freshener in her office and brings it with her when she takes a crap.

    1. fposte*

      This is just beautiful. I’m sorry it wasn’t documented as it happened in a photo sequence.

    2. paul*

      we had a previous manager throw a fit that sometimes the bathroom stank. And I mean a nasty, send to all staff emails about “personal odors” (her phrase) remaining in the bathroom. Not about people leaving a mess of poop or pads or TP or whatever–about smells.

      That remains the only time I’ve gone over someone’s head to complain to a grandboss. Like, I’m sorry, people poop in bathrooms, and poop can smell.

    4. I have IBS*

      Ik it’s too late and not the point, but if you get a little travel-sized squirt bottle and fill it with 15 drops essential oil and 1 or 2 tablespoons of rubbing alcohol, shake it up until it’s mixed, and then fill the rest of the bottle with water, you can just spritz the toilet water before going #2 and it will prevent the odor from spreading or lingering.

      1. Bridget*

        An old coworker had a spray called Poo-purri that she would take to the bathroom with her. It smelled really nice actually…but we always knew who was in there before us. 0_0

    5. Ama*

      I’m sensitive (hah) to both sides here — I hate bad smelling bathrooms, but I actually am allergic to those plug-in air fresheners (to the extent that I had to ask my mom to unplug the ones in her bathroom when I visit). I wouldn’t have thrown it away, though, and I would have happily volunteered the type of air freshener that doesn’t give me a crippling sinus headache.

    6. Chaordic One*

      I used to get mildly upset that people from the floor above us would use “our” bathroom on “our” floor when they had to do seriously stinky business. I never said anything about it, but it did bug me.

    7. Gov Worker*

      If I could, I would come back late after someone dropped a stink bomb. Seriously, flushing after each release of poo or immediately after finishing but before wiping would cut down on a lot of the stink. It is rude not to do this.

      I hate poo smells, including my own. I spray after myself at home. Not to start a war, but the anti-scent contingent can get rather self-righteous and militant sometime. I would have appreciated the person bringing in a scent device.

      Working at home is wonderful and has eliminated a multitude of petty problems.

  136. Lemon Zinger*

    A woman in my department (“Pat”) puts on a “fun day” once a month with a special theme: breakfast, Mexican food, etc. She sends out meeting invites attached to long emails each month, notifying everyone of the theme and begs for participation, with ideas like “bring some homemade cornbread!” or “a 500-count pack of paper plates would be very helpful” or “if you have a waffle iron, we could really use it.”

    Lately, participation has waned. Pat’s monthly emails have been getting very passive-aggressive. The latest email said “Because Jane from teapot design is the only person to show up every month, I wonder if fun day is no longer a good idea. Maybe I should stop arranging these because it appears that nobody wants to socialize with their coworkers.”

    I don’t participate because the first time I did, I got food poisoning from Pat’s food contribution. Her personal hygiene is… questionable.

    1. Leatherwings*

      Oh My God. The food poisoning is like the cherry on top of the overly dramatic Pat cake. She gave you food poisoning!

    2. Malibu Stacey*

      Ah, the Social Director – I’ve had one at every job. My old counterpart would throw potlucks every 3 months or so. For various reasons, group lunches aren’t super practical at our company. She would create a sign-up sheet for a potluck to be held in two weeks and if you didn’t sign up within a couple of days she’d hound you and then send an offic-wide email asking if people are signing up because otherwise we can’t do it.

  137. ErinWithans*

    When I started an office IT job, one of my first assignments was to clean up and update everyone’s computers. The first time I worked with this one coworker’s computer, it was a complete mess. He had some kind of add on for IE that added a little animated Olaf (from the movie Frozen) that would dance around and occasionally have animated snowflakes fall down the screen. Needless to say, it slowed his computer to a crawl, and he was always complaining about how slow his computer was. So, among general scans and cleanup, I removed the add on.

    He was LIVID. Went to my boss, to HR, to the head boss, because his animated dancing snowman that messed up his computer was gone. Phrases like “she has no right” and “how dare she” were thrown around. He made a big show of downloading some other hideous animated nav bar add on instead, and kept trying to flaunt it whenever I was nearby.

  138. Lauren*

    Yeah … I threatened to quit when they claimed I couldn’t have chrome and were trying to force IE on me. I had to have my boss write a justification email saying I needed access to all browsers to do my job (web dev). Part of my job was social media posting and they blocked me from accessing that too, and told me to post from home or my call. My cell that was also blocked while in the building! I basically said, I might as well as go home as this restriction is completely unacceptable and I will play nice and fake that there is a workaround. I knew that I had to do this during my first week, otherwise they’d think it was ok to exclude me from doing the majority of my job during business hours while at work. Corporate IT fun.

    Same with Windows 8, I made the IT person give me admin access so my boyfriend could fix it back to Windows 7. For this current computer / job, I had IT let me upgrade to Windows 10 – they only let me because it was free at the time.

    1. Papyrus*

      At work we have Chrome and Firefox in addition to IE, but there are one or two intranet sites that only work with IE. And we’re not allowed to make any updates to our computers on our own, so it’s an old version of IE on top of the fact that Microsoft has abandoned IE for Edge, which we’ll probably never, ever upgrade to. Thankfully, I don’t have to use it often, but I cringe whenever I have to navigate through those horrible, broken websites. Even when you start up IE, I get a pop up every time that basically says “You’re still using this browser?! WHY? Update already!”

      3. Nic*

        I’ve worked for SEVERAL places that required an outdated version of IE. I’ve even had places send out emails specifically saying NOT to upgrade, and if you did to downgrade again. Once upon a time I had to install four different versions of IE to try to find one that would function correctly on a new computer I was given.
        I never found one that functioned the way it had on my old computer, which still confuses me.

      4. Big Red*

        Yup. I think we work at the same company. The annoying thing is that we have some apps that work best on IE and some that work best on Firefox. I’ve given up trying to remember which is which…of course until I’m sharing my screen with someone and they say “Oh my goodness. You need to be using IE/Firefox with this.” Good thing they can’t see my eye roll.

    2. Elizabeth West*

      I always used Chrome at work except for the company intranet–it seemed to work better on IE. Which mystified me, since it was a software company.

      1. Annie Moose*

        This is pretty common with old stuff. Older versions of IE didn’t support standards that other browsers did, so to make stuff that works with old versions of IE, you literally have to break things and violate standards. You have to do a fair bit of extra work to make a site work identically on old versions of IE and other browsers, if you’re trying to do anything fancy.

        (now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go have flashbacks to when I worked on applications that had to work in IE7… and thank God I never had to support IE6. We just about had a party the day we were allowed to stop supporting IE7.)

        1. Hellanon*

          Our automated data payroll system 1) only runs on IE and 2) requires frequent updates to the Flash and Java plugins.

          In 2017.

          Seriously, guys?

  139. LadyCop*

    A police chief once decided he was going to change uniforms for his department, which included new pants that had stripes down the sides.

    There was great uproar over this, but two officers in particular were not happy. They were so pissed both of them went and had stripes tattooed… not tape, not a Sharpie, but tattooed…down their legs.

    They showed up to work in shorts to protest… and still had to wear the pants

    3. CatCat*

      Ahahaha!

      This made me think of Lt. Dangle on “Reno 911!” He basically wears hot pants instead of a regular uniform. He lobbied to be able to wear his little short shorts instead of standard uniform pants.

      “My argument was: hey, I’m out there on the streets. I gotta be able to move like a cheetah, you know. A law enforcement cheetah.”

    5. Writelhd*

      This is the kind of concrete example of stunning overreacting I think the topic was going for. This one wins, so I say.

      Like for real permanent tattooed?

  140. That Was Witchy*

    I have two stories:

    During my career, I have had three stints working retail in an upscale mall. It was well-known many of the food outlets would give mall employees a small discount, especially if you were wearing your name tag. Obviously, one of the most popular discounts was 10 percent off Starbucks. Ten percent isn’t an enormous discount, but it was nice to know we were appreciated. One day, our Starbucks discount stopped. Turns out, one of the employees in an anchor store transferred to another mall, and when she didn’t get 10 percent off at Starbucks (because that mall, a much, much larger mall, did not offer employee discounts at Starbucks), she pitched such a huge fit, we lost our discount as well.

    When I started in my current job, I was tasked with optimizing the work flow between my group and another department. Basically, my team took over a few things the other group was handling poorly, and should have been our responsibility anyway. I cannot tell you how many people on the other team complained about the process changing. I kept pointing out the new process made their life easier, yet somehow, that wasn’t good enough. I guess they had to realize for themselves their jobs were easier for them to stop complaining. We’re all good now, but I dread the day we have to change any of the processes again.

  141. DecorativeCacti*

    Ooh, I have another one. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this. One of our directors would regularly come into the office break room and if there were dishes left in the sink, she would RAGE about people not cleaning up after themselves. Running out of breath, red in the face raging. Then she would pick up the offending mug, raise it as high as she could, and throw it into the bottom of the trash bin. We lost so many plates, mugs, and silverware. Everyone knew she did this and our other directors would witness her and do nothing. She finally stopped after a concerted effort of employees complaining to HR.

    1. fposte*

      I kind of love her–this is a pet peeve of mine. And I do wonder why so many people were leaving their crap in the sink *even after a director started a policy of throwing that stuff away.*

      1. Betsy*

        I agree, and I’m laughing really hard. After the second time, you’d think people would learn how to prevent having their things thrown away. Instead, they keep doing the same thing and being shocked by the same result. Classic. I’m enjoying this thread.

        1. DecorativeCacti*

          There was never a huge pile up. It would be an oatmeal mug left to soak while someone went to the bathroom or a fork that got forgotten because someone was pulled away for an emergency. Yeah, annoying but it really wasn’t A Big Deal. The best part was when she started complaining that there were no communal dishes left. Everyone started hiding them in their desks so they wouldn’t go missing.

          1. fposte*

            I’d say “Mission accomplished” except it sounds like they only thought to hide the clean stuff and still left the dirty stuff in the sink.

    2. Noah*

      FWIW, I do the same thing with dishes left in the sink at work. Maybe not as dramatically, but they still end up in the trash at the end of the day if it is my turn to tidy up the breakroom. Not my job to wash your dishes, sorry.

      1. OfficeFun*

        Weirdly one day I saw a very nice insulated lunchbag sitting on top of the trash. I admit I opened it and found two super nice pyrex dishes WITH lids. The food was slightly wilted but nowhere near old or gross, and some wetness as though something had spilled but no damage. I went ahead and cleaned it all up and kept it for the day in case someone came for it. I will always wonder if someone tossed it as some mean retaliation, but I’ve never heard anything. And now I have two nice pyrex dishes with lids!

    3. Not Karen*

      Is that better or worse than the passive-aggressive our admins kept sending… week after week…

  142. Earth day every day*

    My supervisor freaked out when we switched from sorted to single-stream recycling. He made my department keep sorting for a couple months until his boss showed him that all our carefully sorted recycling got dumped in the same place when the bins were picked up up and we were all wasting time.

  143. De Minimis*

    This is actually a reasonable complaint, but I was at the mechanic’s once and overheard the owner complaining to the uniform company about his work attire not being delivered as normal. “I keep having to wear my own personal pants to work and I’m tired of it!”

    I just like the phrase “My own personal pants.”

    1. Amber Rose*

      I can only read this in the voice of Ben Stiller: “You made me bleed my own blood!”

      1. nonegiven*

        DH wears his own personal pants to work now. Three times he had to come home and change his pants when the uniform company pants, that he was paying for, ripped out the seat while he was working.

    4. Carolyn*

      “Personal ____” reminds me of an office joke we have. I have a good relationship with my boss and there is a lot of good natured teasing that goes back and forth. We regularly have prospective customers come through and have coffee and a water cooler on offer. In the afternoons I like tea and had noticed several prospects asking for tea instead of coffee – I asked my boss if we could get an electric kettle and tea assortment. He said no because “no one really drinks tea.” So I upgraded my kettle at home and brought that one in for my desk and stashed my favorite teas in my desk.

      Flash forward a few weeks and an important visitor comes to our location … and when asked if they would like coffee, requests tea. My boss says “Sure!” and leads him into the kitchen, opening all the cabinets, searching for the tea I was told not to buy! The visitor was distracted talking to someone else, so I saunter up to my boss and say “Are you looking for the tea you told me not to buy?” He looks at me shocked, grins … then remembers that he told the guy he was getting him tea and looks a bit sheepish. So I say “Well, I have my PERSONAL tea at my desk – would you like me to offer our guest some of my PERSONAL tea?!” We start giggling, he says “Yes, please offer him some of your personal tea!” (Worked out well – I brought the visitor back to my office, made a proper cuppa and we held our portion of the meeting in my office over tea!)

      The next day I said “Hey … should I order up some tea for the office?” My boss started laughing and agreed. (No on the kettle though! He thinks the hot water on our water dispenser or running the Keurig without a cup is fine – I told him that was an abomination and we had a good laugh, but no kitchen kettle! It’s funny … we work for a Japanese company … many of our Japanese employees are used to hot water dispensers that always have perfectly hot water! So when they come to visit, I tell them of my kettle … and wind up getting some good face time in with the execs!)

      To this day when my boss sees me drinking tea or comes into my office while the kettle is on, he makes reference to my PERSONAL tea. :)

  144. Ramona Flowers*

    Last year, I did some part-time work alongside freelancing and retraining part-time. They had budgeted for me to spend a set number of hours on a specific project.

    Well, the department moved offices and my team went from a private office for 2-3 people to a 12-person one. One of our new officemates, Jane, kept scheduling departmental meetings to discuss things like whether people should be allowed to eat loudly in the office. (We worked at a university and lunchtimes were a prime drop-in time so we often had to eat at our desks.) She invited me to one. I declined because I was paid hourly and wasn’t scheduled to work that day. Jane literally never spoke to me again after that. Like, actually blanked me in the corridor.

    She also used to schedule meetings to discuss the need to put a key I never used back in a particular drawer.

    1. Turtlewings*

      Wow. There’s “meeting that should have been an email” and then there’s “meeting that barely warranted an offhand comment.”

  145. EG*

    I worked as an assistant at a small non-profit. We expanded to the next floor and we were setting up a small office there in an open floor plan. The manager in the new space asked for a coat rack since there was no door or closet to hang anything on. I remembered that we had two coat racks downstairs — a heavily-used one by the front door and one near my boss’ desk, that she used when she came in three days a week (she worked from a satellite office 2 days a week). Since she was out that day, so I just moved the coat rack.

    My boss returned the next week and expressed utter disbelief that I had my moved the coat rack without asking. She requested that I immediately replace it. To do this, I have no idea why it was so shocking or impossible to use the communal coat rack.

  146. evilintraining*

    One that got a guy fired. The org I worked for stepped up its security after 9/11, and part of that was wanting everyone to have an ID badge. One guy, “Fergus,” flipped out to the whole staff in an email at the end of the day. This was a Jewish org, and he started his email with, “How about we tattoo numbers on everyone? I hear that’s a great way to control a large group of people!” From there, he went on and on about Big Brother, etc. and ended by saying he would wear his badge in his back pocket because he thought that was where it belonged. The next day, we were called into an emergency staff meeting, at which we were informed that Fergus was no longer working there and was banned from the building.

  147. Captain Lavender*

    These two are which are totally BEC, but left me with this face: O_O

    I used to be an assistant branch manager in a financial institution. One of my things was to always keep a candy jar on my desk – encourage staff to pop in, friendly & welcoming, right? I changed what was in it one time and was nearly overwhelmed with complaints. The change? From Hershey’s Kisses to a mini chocolate bar mixture.

    Being a financial institution the dress code could be a bit archaic. However, they did allow for bare legs for women (i.e. no tights or pantyhose) from May – September. Seeing as I’m not a hosiery fan myself, I decided that September meant right up until September 30th. As October approached I reminded in meetings, sent out an email with the dress code attached, that sort of thing. Of course, October happens and I have staff in skirts and no tights. So I approached them one at a time (when there were no clients around) and essentially whispered a reminder about the tights thing. NBD, right? One of them whipped around and all but shouted in my face “FINE! I will wear nothing but pants until May, then!”.

  148. Seal*

    At our library, librarians are considered faculty; as such, we have additional requirements for promotion beyond those of classified staff members. Often there are messages that are of interest to just librarians that are not appropriate for the all-staff mailing list. One would think that the logical thing to do would be to have a separate mailing list for librarians for that very purpose. But for years such a list didn’t exist because HR felt that classified staff would be insulted that the librarians had a separate mailing list. Instead, their solution was to maintain a Word document that listed all 75+ librarians’ email addresses. If anyone needed to send a message just to the librarians, they had to cut and paste all of the email addresses from the Word document in the “To” line of the email message. As a new librarian, I thought that was ridiculous and finally brought it up at a meeting. The ensuing 20 minute conversation about the pros and cons of mailing lists was enlightening and not in a good way. HR finally agreed to set up a mailing list after I pointed out to that that their cut-and-paste list was in fact an inefficient form of a mailing list. I still roll my eyes over that.

  149. Pwyll*

    I used to work for a tiny non-profit organization. As it happened, some of our board members worked in the same building as well, and would often stop in to chat or get updates on our programming.

    One day we hired a web developer in a wheelchair. Based on our narrow walkways, we needed to move a bookshelf from one side of our main door to the other side of the door (into a corner) to let the chair pass through so he could get to his desk. This caused one of our board members to go ABSOLUTELY INSANE.

    For 2 weeks she stopped in multiple times per day to loudly demand that the bookshelf be moved back. By the third day she was literally sobbing in the office about it. By week 2, she approached one of our employees and proceeded to scream at her FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT about how the bookshelf in the corner is a fire hazard and how could we all not care about people dying in a fire, and fire this, and fire that. Problem is, she was screaming this to a woman who had been in a house fire during her childhood and had truly horrific scars from the neck down (but an awesome attitude about how she survived). When this swayed no one, the board member literally curled up into a ball in front of the door and proclaimed she would not move until the bookshelf was returned to its rightful, appropriate location.

    We had to have the police remove her.

    3. Parcae*

      Did she resign from the board? Did you ever see her again? This story is AMAZING. I must have more information.

      1. Pwyll*

        She did indeed. After a private meeting with the Board President and our Executive Director, she determined she “needed to refocus her efforts on her family obligations.” I felt bad for her, as as I assume something was going on in her life and she just snapped. She was very nice, if a bit odd, prior to this, and had actually helped us to build some of the bookshelves and furniture when we first moved into the building (yay IKEA!). Maybe she felt more invested to the furniture because of that? It’s honestly the only thing I can even attempt to justify the interactions with.

        I moved away a few months later, but she still worked in the building. I’m pretty sure she walked fully around the building to take the furthest stairwell from our office, though. But we greeted each other nicely enough in the parking lot.

        1. Parcae*

          I guess that’s good. It’s hard to imagine a better realistic resolution to the situation. Still, yikes. I hope your former board member is doing better, and that your directly involved coworkers weren’t too traumatized by the experience.

    4. Ramona Flowers*

      I’m very happy that this ended with the moving of the employee and not the bookcase.

  150. Lia*

    Co-worker took umbrage to the new sign in the kitchen reminding people to clean up after themselves and not leave k-cups in the Keurig or dishes in the sink, and would deliberately leave k-cups in the machine and refused to load or unload the dishwasher.

    I once came in to the kitchen to the sight of her doing that — in front of the CEO — who was, at the time, loading his own dirty coffee cup into the dishwasher.

  151. Anonbutprobablynot*

    (Alison, please don’t publish elsewhere.) A company I worked for did surprise hair follicle test. I have long hair, that I’ve worked very hairs to grow out and keep in shape. I had never had this done before, so I asked the people taking the sample how much hair they had to take. I was told “just a strand.” Believing them to mean “a single strand of hair,” I agreed (not passing was not an issue) and asked them “please don’t mess up my hair.” The person taking the sample started to cut my hair and I’m thinking “woah, that’s more than a strand,” but not so much I couldn’t deal with, UNTIL THEY STARTED CUTTING AGAIN!!!! I immediately felt the if my head and was horrified! They’d take a 1″ by 3″ chunk of hair!!! I flipped out. This was most definitely not a single strand of hair, as I’d been told and when I asked, I was told “that’s what we consider a strand, you should have known.” I was livid! They even threatened me by trying to say I was refusing the test!!! AFTER THEY HAD ALREADY TAKEN A CHUNK OF HAIR!!! This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could have dealt with the sexism, sexual harassment, shit stirring boss, and coworker that per coworkers & my boss was “setting me up to fail,” but this was a huge violation of trust and my person. I called my boss and quit without notice. I’m sure there was lots of profanity and I was in tears. It’s been a year and that part of my hair still hasn’t grown back to the length it was. Every time I can’t put my hair up properly or I think about the incident, it still makes me angry.

    1. WhichSister*

      They cut a chunk out of your hair, like I did to my doll when I was 5 years old and got a comb stuck in her hair. THIS IS A HUGE DEAL. You had every right to be upset.

    3. Umvue*

      Wow, I would have been upset too. I had to look up hair follicle testing. Why on earth would they need such a large sample?

    4. nnn*

      OMG! That’s not what “strand” means, and that’s also not what a follicle is! To get a follicle, you pull a hair out at the root, not cut it with scissors!

      1. Annie Moose*

        Eh. For drug testing hair, it is actually cut. It’s the first inch or so that they test, so they just have to cut it close to your scalp to get it.

    5. Annie Moose*

      That’s nutty! I’ve had hair tests before (I too have long hair), and they only took a small bit from under my hair, where it’s totally unnoticeable.

      (actually, I’ve always thought it was a little amusing–they only take a small bundle of strands, but because my hair’s so long, it ends up as this big bundle! But oh man, if they’d taken enough to be noticed, I would’ve been LIVID)

    6. On Fire*

      I do NOT use this word in the legal sense, but I would have felt assaulted and violated. That’s awful. I don’t blame you for throwing a fit.

    7. Fabulous*

      I had to do a follicle test TWICE for my current job. And I had super long hair as well when it was done. The first time wasn’t a huge issue. I had researched it a bit beforehand and was super nervous at some of the pictures I’d seen, but they ended up taking only a little bit, and I was like great I can deal with that! Well, the next time… Oh man. They took a HUGE chunk, like 3″, from one side of my head AND THEN THEY DID IT AGAIN ON THE OTHER SIDE. I was like WTF?! Thankfully after a few weeks/months when it started growing out I stopped noticing the basically bald patches on my scalp. And also thankfully I haven’t had any issues putting my hair up. But I very nearly freaked out.

      1. nonegiven*

        After hearing all this, I’d rather lose my dream job than have gaps cut into my hair.

  152. HigherEd on Toast*

    I used to work for a college where one department’s secretary would regularly make coffee. It was apparently The Best Coffee Ever, and various people from my department would go over there to drink it rather than make their own. (I never did because I don’t drink coffee, but the amount of swearing by it people did was phenomenal).

    The secretary got in a car accident and was out of work for a month. There were several people who, when the college announced it would have a combination of temp workers and work-study students cover the secretary’s job until she recovered, reacted with, “But what about OUR COFFEE??” They didn’t ask if she was okay, or what had happened, or join in the cards and help the college was trying to organize for her. Nope, all they cared about was that she wouldn’t be there to make The Best Coffee Ever. When she came back, still using a cane, some of these people refused to talk to her because of the month of no coffee. I was pretty ashamed to work with them.

    I’m at a different place now, but I sure hope they started treating her better.

  153. Stone Satellite*

    I work in an office well-known for its perks and high employee satisfaction. But, of course, we’re only human, so when the party planning committee announced that the swanky adults-only plus-one party (normally a winter holiday party in Nov/Dec) would be in the summer and the plus-family party (normally a big picnic-style thing in the summer months) would be in the winter, it was widely assumed in the office that something terrible was happening. Family party … in the winter? And adult party in the summer? What is the world coming to?! What’s being taken from us in the new arrangement? I don’t know what it is but I want it back, dammit! It was disruptive enough that the party planners held a meeting with the entire 500+-person office to explain that nothing was being cut, they just had a cool idea for the family party that would work better in the winter, and for the adult party that could work in the summer, so they’re switching it up this year. I assume this is the sort of reaction that makes people throw up their hands and say, “I’m not planning any more parties for these ingrates!”

  154. Amber Rose*

    I have another one actually. This doesn’t really count, but it almost does.

    The Friday before the company camping trip, everyone left for the afternoon except those of us who weren’t going. That more or less amounted to four people or so. It was very, unsettlingly quiet. So as a joke, when one of the other people stopped to ask a question, I put my finger on my lips and said, shhhhh. He did it to the other person when she stopped by, and we spent a juvenile 30 seconds shushing each other and giggling.

    The fourth person then came by, slammed his fist into the wall and screamed, “Stop talking about me!” with tears running down his face.

    I still don’t know why he thought less than a minute of shushing was about him.

  155. Green Goose*

    This was my overreaction:
    At my job there was a succession of crappy things that all happened within about six weeks. My team was split up, I was moved out of my private office into a cubicle at a new location. My two closest work friends quit and then the remaining people on my team were fired and I just took it all in stride, but you know what put me over the edge? When the head of the new office refused to let me have a private bathroom key. There was one communal one that was stolen on the first day, and after it was replaced it was lost again and we had to beg another business to let us in the bathroom. I suggested that everyone get their own bathroom key and it was shot down. It was the final straw and I cried about it. I’m not sure why that was the thing that “broke” me.

    1. Turtlewings*

      (a) I can easily understand why One More Thing would break you after all that, (b) having to beg other people to let you use the bathroom is an entirely valid thing to have a fit about!

    2. Betsy*

      At first I misunderstood this and thought you meant there was a communal bathroom, and you wanted to use a private one, and I was like, haha, we’ve all had days like that.

      But then I reread and realized there was A Bathroom, and it was locked, and no one would give you a key to it. !!!!!! That’s not an overreaction! Who’s stealing these keys??

      1. Green Goose*

        Oops, I meant to write “personal” instead of “private”. I think the first day someone accidentally stole it, they probably put it in their pocket and forgot about it. There were 25 of us sharing the key, and the second day the last key fell into a vent. It was ridiculous.

  156. Cafe au Lait*

    I have one!

    My coworker has worked in our unit first as a student employee in the sixties, and then moved onto a staff job after a brief post-college break. That entire time the original heavy, steel desks remained in our department. When my new boss started, she insisted that we have updated furniture immediately. Our workspace was quite dreary and felt overwhelming.

    My coworker threw an absolute fit. The desks wouldn’t be sufficient for her job, she needed her old chair because it fit her hips, the new shades wouldn’t let in enough light, etc, etc, etc. Coworker vehemently complained to the point my boss let her keep everything except her desk and the shades by her desk.

  157. Tagg*

    So I work as a receptionist for a specialty doctor’s practice that’s a part of a large healthcare system. Our office is in a satellite location, in a building that my employer doesn’t actually own. We just rent the space on the second floor.

    Anyway, we’ve been open for about 3 years, and all of a sudden the building owner decides that he doesn’t like the “No firearms” sign we have on the front door of the building. So we have to move it from the building door to the front door of our office suite. Fine, whatever, it’s your building, dude (he’s his own brand of weird but that’s not the point of this story).

    A few weeks after the sign has been moved, a patient comes in the door and the first thing he says to me is, “Why is there a sign that says firearms aren’t allowed in the suite?” To which I reply, “…because firearms aren’t allowed in the suite. Per hospital policy.” (love when I can just hide behind Because It’s Policy) Well this just sets him off. We’re denying him his rights, if he gets shot in here he’s gonna sue, I’m never coming here again, crap like that. I just mentally roll my eyes, double check where the panic button is and send him on his way back to the doctor.

    After his appointment, he refuses to speak to me. His wife does all the checking-out. And come to find out, he was serious about never coming back to us, as the doctor tells me that he’ll be following up with his family doc to manage his disease.

    The fun part? I know for a fact that his family doctor (which is part of a different, but just as large, healthcare system) has the exact. same. policy. It’s pretty standard hospital policy across the board, and is only in effect for safety reasons. I get that gun rights are a hot-button topic, but when I was talking to our security guard the next day, he said they had to put the policy in place because people were bringing their guns and -literally leaving them on a table in the waiting room.-

    1. Malibu Stacey*

      It’s always refreshing to hear when someone with rage issues is also a firearms fan.

    2. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

      Why is it the really irresponsible gun owners that seem to always be SO! INSISTENT! on having guns with them every second of the day?

    3. DArcy*

      Ehhh. As a legal concealed weapon carrier, it’s messy to have a no-weapons sign all the way inside the building as opposed to at the access doors, because then we have to go all the way back out to the parking lot to safely store the firearm (and that’s assuming one even keeps a backup lockbox). Obviously, it’s still unreasonable to flip out over it.

      1. Annie Moose*

        Surely anyone with a concealed carry permit should have some way to store their firearm if they unexpectedly need to enter a building where they can’t legally carry it. I know it depends on your state, but there’s a lot of places you can’t carry a gun (in my state: schools, churches if you don’t have permission, hospitals, any sort of “entertainment” facility with a high seating capacity, etc.). It’s highly irresponsible to not be prepared for the possibility of these situations. (and all of the concealed carry people I know are, indeed, aware of and prepared for this)

  158. Anne*

    The method of calculating mileage reimbursement from home to the airport for work travel was to specifically use MapQuest. It was in all of the documentation and manuals; using any other service would not be approved by fiscal staff. A few years ago it was finally updated to say that Google Maps was the most reliable map to use when calculating mileage. One employee flipped her shit because Google Maps showed her drive was a half mile shorter than MapQuest. She demanded proof that every single manual and documented instructions had been changed in hopes that one hadn’t that she could use as a GOTCHA. She sent multiple emails to the travel staff demanding justification for the change even though it was obviously wrong. Over one full mile round trip. Reimbursed at 50 cents a mile.

    2. heatherskib*

      I actually got called in to be chewed out for using a different mapping website once upon a time.

  159. TheTallestOneEver*

    This isn’t something I witnessed personally, but it was shared in an online forum I’m on and it continues to be the oddest, most over the top workplace reaction I’ve ever read.

    It’s Jane’s first day on the job. Her new boss takes her to her new cubicle, and says, “Get settled. I’ll come back through and walk you around to introduce you to everyone.”

    Jane says, “No thanks. I prefer to introduce myself once I figure out who I want to know.”

    Boss looks at Jane and says, “Mmmmkay” clearly thinking Jane is joking.

    As promised, the boss comes back and says, “Come on, I’ll show you around.” They walk through the office and arrive at the first cubicle where the boss is going to start introductions. Jane sees that boss is about to introduce her, and keeps walking past the cube, out the door, to the parking lot. Jane gets in her car and drives away.

    The very confused boss calls Jane on her cell to figure out where she is and to make sure she’s okay. Jane tells her that she left because the boss didn’t respect her wishes to not be introduced, and that she quits. We tried to understand what set Jane off for something so ordinary. She didn’t want “just anyone to be in her personal business” and that after a few weeks on the job, she planned to set up a meeting with the group of people she wanted to know.

    2. Blue Anne*

      I keep coming back to this comment and trying to figure Jane out. Nope. It’s not happening.

    3. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain*

      Wow. Someone never outgrew the high school mean girl clique. That office dodged a bullet. But I am dying to know what would have happened if one of the people she selected for her super cool club didn’t want to know her.

  160. RPL*

    This isn’t really a mundane change, but it was a weirdly dramatic response. I spent a few years at an epically dysfunctional office that grossly underpaid its employees while the president and CEO rolled in riches. The head of IT was apparently recruited by a competitor and offered 3x his current salary. He went to the president and CEO and basically said, “My family is struggling to make ends meet, but I love the work I do here and don’t want to leave” (company did really, really good things for kids from low-income families).

    I know all of this because the CEO flipped out and emailed the entire company about it, boasting about how he’d fired the guy, saying that he expected his employees to be “completely dedicated” to the company’s vision, and if any employee wanted to be greedy like the guy he’d fired, they could “get the f*** out.” (Out of curiosity, I pasted the email into a Word doc. Five pages long.) And across the company, we all silently started polishing up our resumes…

  161. The Other Katie*

    A long time ago in a country far away, I worked for a GPS mapping company. One weekend the engineers pushed a software update for the in-house editing software and accidentally made the default display setting the “colourblind” setting (roads displayed in colours other than green and red) instead of the usual setting. Monday morning: cue the absolute chaos. I don’t think anyone did any work until noon or so.

  162. De Minimis*

    I was guilty of this…I flipped out because they were doing some kind of floor work in our breakroom so no one could access it [this was a large factory-type workplace] for the first couple of hours of the shift [though at the time I didn’t know how long it would be.] We just had to put our food on metal shelves in the hallway.

    My complaint was that the facility is open 24 hours a day but doesn’t have a shift operating for at least 5-6 hours a day, so I didn’t understand why they couldn’t have done the work before we arrived. I guess I’m still burned up about it!

  163. Buffy*

    I work at a University, and they announced in a list of some general updates that big bulletin boards were going away in order to emphasize digital signage. From the faculty response, you’d think they were burning the entire building down. (Even said in an email sent to *everyone on faculty and staff* it was “DUPLICITOUS” to “TRY TO HIDE THIS MONUMENTAL CHANGE” at the end of a long list of updates.)

    2. Chaordic One*

      Back in the 1990s I worked at a college bookstore. Although the store was supposed to be self-supporting it provided many additional services that were not typical of college bookstores and always only just barely paid for itself. (Additional services such as having personal charge accounts for students, faculty and management, but not regular staff.) By the mid-90s sales were down because many students were starting to buy their textbooks online where they were less expensive and the college management made the decision to lay-off all of the staff and have the store run by Barnes and Noble.

      The faculty went ballistic and the decision to let the store be taken over by Barnes and Noble was tabled (at least temporarily). We bookstore staff naively thought they were supporting us. They weren’t. They were just angry that this had been sprung on them without their being consulted. The takeover was delayed for a couple of years while the faculty got used to the idea of Barnes and Noble taking over and also to the idea of the loss of the charge accounts.

      When Barnes and Noble took over we were offered the opportunity to reapply for our jobs, but since B and N paid quite a bit lower than what we had been making when the college ran things, no one did so.

  164. Cassandra*

    So, this is one of the few stories from Toxic Ex-Job that is even a little bit funny.

    The staff intranet had not been redesigned since about 1996. There were blink tags. BLINK. TAGS. And it had accumulated all the outdated cruft you’d expect. At last (cue heavenly trumpets) the overworked web team had found time to re-architect, migrate, and redesign it.

    They called a well-attended meeting to demo the new intranet, which they duly did to the sound of pleased oohs and aahs from the audience. It was an unimaginably amazing improvement over what was there before. We cheerfully applauded the demo close, and the web lead asked for questions.

    A hand went up from That Guy, and the web lead called on him. “You moved my link,” said That Guy.

    “I’m sorry?” said the web lead.

    “You MOVED my LINK.”

    “Er, which link was that?”

    “The link I use every day. You MOVED IT.” In, of course, a total How Dare You tone of voice.

    “I’m sorry, I’m not sure which link you mean,” said the web lead, struggling (pretty much successfully) to keep the total WTF out of his voice, especially with most of the rest of us suppressing giggles (not entirely successfully).

    Cue ten-minute discussion of That Guy’s Link, because That Guy just Would. Not. Let. His. Link. Go.

    1. Trillian*

      If it dated from 1996, it probably said, “click here.” So no wonder he couldn’t be specific.

      1. Cassandra*

        Ha! You’re totally right about there being a lot of “click here” in the 1996 version. That Guy’s link wasn’t one of them, as it happens.

        That Guy just could not quite fathom that someone else might not know that the link in question was his link that he used every day such that it was ineligible to be moved.

        (The web lead throughout the demo had shown his awareness that any change this large would mean retraining muscle memory and all that good habitual stuff. Except for That Guy, we were all completely fine with that because the new intranet was a giant leap forward.)

  165. ugh*

    My department updates the SOP documents to ensure they’re always current. This requires us to communicate with the people actually using the processes to make the changes.
    The company moved us from cubicles to long, shared tables in a training room. Being a training room, there weren’t enough phone jacks for every person. We went from having personal desk phones to having two shared phones at the end of the room you could schedule time to use.
    An employee from another department was told to act as my expert on a document being updated and requested a screen-share phone call. This usually means they expect you to do their part of the job by typing the edits, changes, and notes they want updated live, as they ramble on and on, rather than doing their job thoroughly and submitting edits written on the documents requiring changes. It also inevitably leads to mistakes and re-dos, since the type to request this generally don’t look at the document before the call, are making up edits as they go, and forget what they’ve said since there’s no record.
    Anyways, both phones are in use. I offer to have a screen share with instant messaging instead, or he could call once the phones were free, but then I couldn’t screen share since we had desktop computers, which I couldn’t pick up and drag over to the phone. And we dealt with financial/personal information, so we were not permitted to use our personal cell phones for work purposes.
    He was completely incensed. What do you mean you don’t have a phone?! Why can’t you type this for me?! This is inconvenient and you’re just lazy! I can’t believe this $%@# you’re telling me! You’re lying and won’t do your job! (all over IM and email, which he could have used to send his edits).
    He escalated his complaints all the way up to the VP of my department.
    My manager sat me down and asked why I refused to help this guy, was unable to do my job, and why I told him I don’t have a desk phone.
    I didn’t get in trouble once they realized I had offered multiple other communication options the guy chose not to use, but the VP made an announcement to everyone in the room that we weren’t allowed to tell people we didn’t have desk phones, and that if someone requests a screen share call, they would move the phone over to our computer with the extra-long cord they just purchased for that purpose.
    I still had to work with the whinger after, and he kept making snide comments about my lack of phone as if I’d been lying.

    1. ReneeB*

      Do you work at my OldJob. It seriously sounds like it.

      You have my greatest sympathy!

  166. Delta Delta*

    I once worked with an attorney who fired off a very nasty letter to a judge for calling a case with a younger attorney before co-worker’s case. The hearings were scheduled in a big block, along with about 50 others at the same time. The judge was calling them alphabetically.

    Here’s another: I live in a very picturesque town. One night at a town zoning board meeting, one of the board members literally began to cry because the nursing home in town had shutters one inch smaller than the zoning regulations called for. Another time she sobbed through a meeting because a new local merchant had (and I am not making this up) “too many flowers” in front of his store.

    1. justsomeone*

      Do you live in Stars Hollow and was it Taylor sobbing about the shutters?????

  167. Another Laura*

    Not a reaction but I think the biggest, but really mundane, change I’ve seen at my job has to do with the item slips, where the customers jot down item numbers for us to pull the items from our stock.

    I don’t even remember when it happened but the idea is getting the associates on the floor to interact more with the customers. I’m not sure how well it’s worked. It’s been a while and I still don’t think any of us have the process down pat yet- I know I don’t.

    Our busy-ness often varies (some days we can do one-on-one help finding a certain teapot, some days it’s too go go go)and I still am not quite used to where that one slip caddy with pencils that was kept out is at, and it’s been months. I’m still on the fence about it…

    It wasn’t and isn’t worth losing my cool over but axing it from (I think it was)six caddies spaced pretty evenly to just one (in a rather inconvenient spot) is kinda questionable.

    But at least we bring out a few more during the busy seasons. Again, big change, mundane really.

  168. Delta Delta*

    I also want to add that although many of these are very off the wall, I can see how it happens. I once worked in a very unstable, toxic place. Nothing felt stable. Ever. A small change, like using a blue label instead of a yellow one (or whatever) felt monumental. The boss also often forgot what he changed or would make rules that everyone had to follow except him and his favorites, and people felt like they were constantly doing something wrong. One person said once, “I wish Boss would go on vacation so at least for a week I would know what my job is.” So, some of this I understand.

  169. Rachel H*

    Not exactly a policy change but at a previous company I worked with, we had a woman get emotional she when we replaced her old, broken printer. She hugged it and yelled “don’t take my baby!” She may have been half joking. Maybe. But she was definitely having a hard time letting it go.

  170. Snatch*

    Tears and running out of a staff meeting when it was announced we would be getting cubicles.

  171. ex-keeper*

    I used to work in animal care (think zookeeper), and we had a change to a safety protocol that a former coworker protested. The reason on one of them was, basically, ‘so you don’t catch a really nasty disease when they bite you or your inhale their feces’, and they would still refuse to wear proper gear. Ended up with a screaming match between him and my boss, and then him getting fired and escorted out by security.

  172. No RAH RAH here*

    I work on a university campus. There is a new rule that one may not wear a university-logo T-shirt to work ever. I’m not sure why, but grown-ups are now convinced that this outrage will not stand come “game day” – even though all football games are played on Saturday when we don’t work, and our university team is ranked something like 129 out of 129 FBS teams.

    1. Rincat*

      That’s kind of a weird rule. At my university the only type of t-shirts we can wear are university logo! Certainly not one to be outraged over, though, especially if they get to wear regular t-shirts.

    2. Antilles*

      This sounds like a policy developed after someone wore a very borderline ‘university logo’ t-shirt (e.g., one that uses your logo to mock Big Rival), so they just wanted to completely shut that down.
      That said, it’s very possible that “this will not stand” people are right and enforcement of the policy will be quietly vanish come fall. Remember that (a) the most passionate people about your university are almost certainly the sports fans and (b) there’s approximately a 100% chance that your football coach makes more than the university president.

  173. Lora*

    Oh nooooo. I currently work with a dude who, while he is not the king of freakouts, is definitely a Baron or Viscount. And it’s always, at bottom, the same damn thing: Thing which he has been told about repeatedly in person, reiterated in email, and witnessed by many others in meetings, and discussed on the phone, is somehow the Worst Surprise Ever and why didn’t anyone tell him?!?! Why is he being left out of important decision making??? Nobody should dare to make this serious decision without his input!!111!!!eleventy!!

    -5 minute training sessions on new equipment for employees who do not report to him at all, who are sitting on their butts checking Facebook and have been tasked with the 5 minute training by their actual bosses. He personally didn’t have to do the training, they weren’t his people, he just observed other people’s employees putting away their personal phones and doing the training per their boss’ request, and freaked out that they should be focused on other projects.
    -The new technical report template being done in Word, with a header that included the company logo, per the department head’s request. Dude only does PowerPoint and Excel.
    -A piece of equipment which we were planning to sell, which had been declared utterly useless, being moved to the basement instead of cluttering up other people’s workspace. Not *his* workspace, other people’s, who wanted it gone. It had even been declared a safety hazard, and he still didn’t want anyone moving it. The trash equipment that we were going to get rid of.
    -His employees aren’t allowed to speak to anyone else in the company. They can say hi, but they aren’t allowed to have any work discussions with anyone, because then they are doing something he doesn’t know about and what if they said something wrong. They aren’t allowed to go to meetings without him, he goes to all the meetings personally and doesn’t delegate anything.
    -A piece of equipment about the size of a VCR moved from a countertop to a shelf. I’m serious. It wasn’t in use, so someone put it on a shelf about 7 feet away where it wouldn’t get stuff spilled on it or bumped into. Not, like, hidden under anything, it was in plain sight, at eye level. He did not personally use this equipment; nobody did, it was for a project that was months away.
    -Having to tell a vendor “no, thank you, the presentation was nice but I don’t want to buy your product”. He hyperventilates if a vendor takes us out to lunch and we end up not buying from them, even if it’s pizza.

    I’ve actually ended up doing a good chunk of his job, just because it’s easier for me to do it than to deal with a two-hour meeting in which he goes bonkers at everyone and then plans another meeting so he can natter on some more. People have stopped showing up to his meetings, and he doesn’t understand whyyyyy because communication is so critical!!!!

    1. Observer*

      -His employees aren’t allowed to speak to anyone else in the company. They can say hi, but they aren’t allowed to have any work discussions with anyone, because then they are doing something he doesn’t know about and what if they said something wrong. They aren’t allowed to go to meetings without him, he goes to all the meetings personally and doesn’t delegate anything.
      ================================================

      This guy sounds like a winner. But HR really needs to put a stop to this particular piece of nonsense, since this could easily be seen as illegal – the NLRA (National Labor Relations Act) says that you can’t keep people from discussing their jobs with other employees of the company. The rules he’s setting are so broad that if someone came after them, the company would likely get into trouble.

      1. Lora*

        Pretty sure the Grandboss is preparing to show him the door. At this point I’m just eating the popcorn and grinning. He’s screwed up nearly every responsibility that has been given to him, now the Grandboss is just throwing things at him in the hope that he might execute even one of them successfully. His actual boss washed his hands of responsibility months ago. I’m not sure how aware he is of this fact, he’s pretty bad at politics.

  174. Peppermint Tea*

    My office recently started enforcing a no scents policy. You aren’t supposed to use scented lotion, perfume, scented soap, candles, potpourri, or anything like that. The policy came to be due to an employee who kept stinky potpourri in her office.

    Well, shortly after this all went down, I got this cold, which would not go away. I couldn’t breathe, and I was miserable. One day, in a desperate attempt to be able to breathe again, I bought a bottle of peppermint extract on my lunch break, with plans of using it in my coffee and tea. I assumed that this would be fine, because it’s an edible product, and strong smelling foods/food products are not banned by our no scents policy. Well, my boss just happened to come into my office as I was putting some peppermint into my coffee, and he absolutely flipped out. He started screaming, and he started lecturing me on the dangers of peppermint allergies, and how by using peppermint extract, I could cause someone to have an allergic reaction. I apologized and immediately took the peppermint to my car, and then proceeded to avoid me for the rest of the day. Then the next day, everything was back to normal, and he never mentioned it again. He doesn’t have any food allergies, and neither does anything else in the building, so I still find the whole thing to have been really bizarre.

      1. JanetM*

        Not at work, but I do know someone with a mint allergy who is sensitive enough that I do have to leave my gum in the car when I get together with her.

  175. Analysis Paralysis*

    This is actually my mother’s story. She was the director of nursing at a state psychiatric hospital from 1970’s through 1990’s. In the mid-70’s, there was a minor dress code change for the uniformed employees, related to their socks (which were not issued as part of the uniform). My mother was responsible for notifying all the nursing and other on-floor support staff. One of the support staff (what was then called an orderly) had a screaming fit, cursed my mother out, and then embarked on a campaign of harassment – though luckily (!?!) her car bore the brunt of his wrath.

    During the course of a year, her car had the air let out of all tires weekly and actually slashed-beyond-repair several times, the headlights and / or taillights broken at least every other week, back window broken twice (on particularly snowy days in the snow-belt), windshield wiper blades removed on multiple occasions, and best-of-all, on 4 occasions, a giant bucket of paint thinner splashed up the hood, causing the paint to bubble/blister on the hood, front quarter panels, roof and front doors. After the 4th incident, she stopped repainting the car.

    She knew it was the orderly (he frequently asked her “how’s your car?” with a creepy innuendo in his voice, etc.) but couldn’t prove it. The facility consisted of multiple single-story buildings with their own parking lots, spread over dozens of wooded acres, so it took a year for security to actually catch him in the act (they finally took her seriously enough to set up a stakeout), and then months for the union process to be followed for his termination. At his termination, he threatened to stuff his dirty socks down her throat. The police didn’t take this as a ‘credible threat’ but she was able to get a judge to issue a restraining order. For weeks she was escorted to-and-from her car by security until the hospital learned that he had moved across the country.

      1. Analysis Paralysis*

        So I checked with my mom: at those days, nurses at her hospital still wore Whites, including white stockings. The on-floor support staff also wore white uniforms, so the hospital director decided all staff should wear white socks/stocking (it was the 70’s — there were some funky striped socks going around!). He thought if the hospital wanted him to wear white socks, these should be issued as part of the uniform. Again, it was the 70’s — the heyday of white tube socks (the stripes at the top were OK according to my mom) & somehow this guy didn’t own any and didn’t want to buy any!

  176. You didn't see me*

    We are in the middle of a process change on one of our projects. We added a field on one of our firms, and asked our developers to put specific information in this new field. Not “leave it off the form”, mind you, just “move it to this new field”.

    Cue audible meltdown. 45 minute rant on why couldn’t the information be in [OLD FIELD], we might as well just leave it out of the form altogether then, I’m not even going to use [NEW FIELD]… completely hijacked a 1-hour meeting.
    And then continued to meltdown over Skype for the several more days.

    Still don’t know if they have used that new field or not….

    1. Shishimai*

      ..do you work with me?!

      Actually, on a reread, I don’t think so. I have a coworker who does this, though – the tiniest request, even when provided in email and thoroughly argued about there, can provoke 30+ minutes of ranting about how this (small, routine) change is going to delay things by DAYS. Including during emergencies.

      Yeah, Coworker is a treat.

  177. NotMe*

    So, I totally freaked out over something stupid once. In a restructure I was moved from a team with administrative support to working totally alone without colleagues or an admin. The change was hard, but I was sucking it up and figuring things out. After a few months I realized I was running low on office supplies. But I didn’t have an admin to help me. And I didn’t have access to the company’s system to order them myself. Why, because I didn’t have a cost center because I wasn’t “on a team”. And no one could tell me how to fix this. Now this is a big and very profitable company (fortune 100) and here I was taking unattended pens, paperclips and post it notes whenever I saw them. I was still getting by, but was getting more annoyed each and every day. Then one day the unspeakable happened. My stapler broke. So I still now way to order office supplies and again, I was working for a very profitable company that could afford a freaking stapler. Now a rational person would have just stopped by the office supply store that I pass every single day on the way to work and bought a stupid $10 stapler. But I wasn’t in a rational head space. So I liberated someone else’s stapler. This person had a cost center and an admin to order a replacement so I felt justified. To this day I have the stolen stapler on my desk and I feel guilty looking at it.

    1. Discordia Angel Jones*

      I like your story!

      It made me giggle a bit as I sit surrounded by the best-in-office stapler (that I brought from home), the best-in-office hole punch (that my colleague who left brought from home and which I liberated after she left), and the best-in-office Staple Remover (picker? that pinchy thing), which I liberated from one of my colleagues while she was on holiday.

      My office doesn’t buy stationary for the staff. Not even post its or sticky tabs.

    2. Delta Delta*

      My mother in law once liberated a stapler while at a temp job back in the 70s. I assume she took it specifically because the owner had used a label maker to put her name on the back of it. My husband ended up with it somehow and we now refer to it not as “the stapler” but by the name on the stapler (not naming the name in case that person is still living and reads this blog).

    3. Betsy*

      Hey, man, give them back their stapler! That’s theft!

      I’m joking, of course. I once stole a mug from my boss’s desk because he broke my pencil cup. We’ve all done ridiculous things. (He didn’t even apologize!)

      1. heatherskib*

        I was just going to go there! “If they take my stapler I’ll burn down the office”

  178. DCGirl*

    I’ve got one. I worked at a private Catholic girls high school that was created when two schools with declining enrollments merged. Each school had its own culture and traditions, so merging them into one cohesive whole was challenging. The students actually handled the merger better than the adults in most respects and actively contributed to such things as what the athletic teams would be called, what to name the yearbook, what the new uniforms would look like, and what the new school colors would be. They ultimately chose gray and green. Green was chosen specifically to symbolize hope and growth. Gray symbolized the blending of the two schools’ existing school colors.

    So, after a year of planning, School A shut down its building, packed up its stuff, and moved it all into School B’s building where the merged school would be located. School B’s head secretary, who’d apparently worked there since Jesus was a child, behaved as though the Visigoths had arrived at the gate in order to sack the place. She resisted every change that was involved with the merger and was monstrously rude to School A’s faculty and staff, but was forced to knuckle under. It was clear, though, that she’d eventually reach her breaking point and take a stand on something.

    Her hill to die on became the choice of the school colors. In consultation with a design firm that was helping with the rebranding, specific PMS colors for the gray and green voted on by the students were chosen. A voted-on student committee sat with designers, picked swatches, and put it to a vote by both student bodies. The gray was a medium gray. The green chosen was a dark forest green. She hated that shade of green with the blistering passion of a thousand red-hot suns. Hated it. She thought the darker green was depressing combined with the medium gray and that it should be brightened up. She also was livid that the students had been given that much power over important decisions like that since they were just students and couldn’t know better, KWIM?

    As a result, for everything that she ordered for the school, she chose brighter shades of green that were “more cheerful” to her. She didn’t even pick one shade of green and stick to it. There were, literally, a dozen shades of green for the stationery, catalog, bookshop items such as pencils and folders…. Kelly green, apple green, grass green…. anything but the dark forest green picked by the students in consultation with the branding firm. She was also picking shades of gray so pale as to be almost white, but it was the green where there was a real problem. The students were ticked.

    This is where I came in. I was hired to run the school’s fund raising and student recruitment programs and inherited the branding problems. Nothing in the school matched, and the goal of cohesiveness under the new school name and new school traditions was wobbling.

    First I tried talking with her, and the drama and hysterics were amazing. You’d have thought PMS colors were a tool of Satan. She kept on doing it, because purchasing orders had to go through her for the school president’s signature. I typed my own and took them to him directly, which she didn’t appreciate, but anything ordered by the teachers or the rest of the staff (such as cups for a fund raiser) came in whatever green she fancied that day.

    The school’s business manager finally came up with a solution, which was to send a letter to all of the school’s vendors stating that the school’s official colors were PMS XXX and PMS YYY and that any materials delivered to the school in other colors would not be paid for. The drama that ensued when she found that out was epic.

    This was also the women who kept an ancient PC on her desk so that she could continue to use Volkswriter rather than learning WordPerfect.

    1. ReneeB*

      Wooooooowwww.

      Props to the school’s business manager for formulating a solution that didn’t involve continuing to do battle with her on her chosen battlefield.

      Terrible that it had to come to that, but excellent solution.

      Sounds very much like the way you work with children: don’t provide an option on the menu that you don’t want them to choose!

    2. Nallomy*

      Ohh, this reminds me of a hypothetical future change that people got up in arms over! I used to teach in a rapidly growing suburb (it is still rapidly growing, I just no longer work there) which was served by about 10 K-8 schools and one high school. All of the schools are now overcrowded, but it’s worse at the K-8 schools, as we have a number of excellent independent schools in the area, so not all families in the district choose the (very good) public high school. In order to alleviate crowding at the K-8 schools, one proposal was put forth to change to a model with K-5 and 6-8 schools, which is what one of the neighboring towns did over about a 15 year period to deal with similar overcrowding. Reconfiguring schools is definitely a Big Deal because it profoundly affects everyone attached to those schools, but given the nature of the problem, it seemed to many decision-makers like an idea worth exploring. (Ultimately they decided to renovate and enlarge half the existing K-8 schools and build another new one.)

      Do you know what my colleagues’ most-vocalized complaint about this idea was? “Well, if we combine K-8 Schools A and B to create Elementary School A and Middle School B, what are their mascots going to be? I’m not changing mascots!” Our mascot was a penguin, BTW.

  179. Haggadar*

    I threw a mini tantrum once – for a short period of time. I was banished from the confines of the secure HR department along with another coworker. I was moved from an office with a view to a cloffice (closet sized office) with no windows on another floor in the middle of all employees – read: no buffer from drop ins. I was furious because I felt like I was no longer part of the HR team. That is until I realized I never had to see my jerk of a boss or interact with him (he never once came upstairs to visit me and my coworker). I also realized I really didn’t like most of my coworkers and never had to see them either. Turned out getting moved was a blessing in disguise. I was able to work without dealing with my boss / coworkers and ended up being a happier, more productive employee.

  180. Lizzy*

    I’m the office “fun-maker” and in charge of stuff like birthday celebrations, staff lunches, and so on. We’re doing a “mandatory” field trip this summer as a team-building activity to attend a major league baseball game. Literally everything is paid for – pretty decent seats at the stadium, transpiration to and from, and staff all get to eat (and drink) on the company’s dime.
    “Can we have seats in the shade?”
    “Do we have to stay for the whole game?”
    “People better stay for the whole game. No one is going home early.”
    “We’re gonna have shirts? Do we get to choose what type of shirt?”
    “Can we drink on the party bus? Oh, we don’t have a party bus?? That sucks.”

    Dude. You’re getting to go to a MLB game, all expenses paid, for FREE.
    Now I will say this – most of our staff is very good about expressing appreciation for all the stuff I plan, and I try really hard to make everyone happy (or at least quasi-happy) with these types of things.
    But seriously. It’s free. Stop whining.

    1. Isabel C.*

      I admit I’d probably be mildly peeved at having to go – I hate both crowds and sports, a lot, and I wouldn’t go to an MLB game, given the choice, if someone offered me a hundred bucks – but I’d probably just use a sick day and grumble about the mandatory nature on AAM. :P

      And if I did want to go, I would not whine about the specifics: free outing is free!

      1. Lizzy*

        I hear ya! The ones complaining are the ones who actually want to go, which is the cause of the annoyance/amusement on my end :)

    2. Taylor Swift*

      I don’t think any of those are egregious, although I get why you’re annoyed at being the receiver of all the questions. Going to baseball game wouldn’t be near the top of the list of things I’d like to do, even if it were free. And knowing whether the seats were in the shade would be pretty important.

    3. Beancounter Eric*

      As for “You’re getting to go to a MLB game, all expenses paid, for FREE”, OldCo had a non-mandatory MLB event for the office staff….my response was a) I had time sensitive work to complete (which was true), and b) I had far better things to do than watch supposedly adult men play a child’s game. And no, I did not go to the game.

      To some of us, free, or othewise, a baseball game or other sporting event has negative value. We don’t find it “fun”. Throw in crowds and mandatory attendance, and you will have a very ticked off person.

      And as far as some of us are concerned, we do not want, nor need organized “fun” events at work. We don’t appreciate it, and would rather it be stopped.

      1. Analysis Paralysis*

        “a baseball game or other sporting event has negative value”

        ^^THIS!^^

        Attending a spectator sporting event = PUNISHMENT. Watching sports, and baseball in particular, is torture. Doing it with coworkers is worse. Making it mandatory is the worst. Making it mandatory AND outside of work hours is the worst of the worst.

        A game during working hours, I can suck it up (graciously of course) because my time belongs to the Company during working hours. But at OldJob, they always did MLB evening games. And they didn’t pay for transportation/parking — I’m out of pocket at least $10 (plus more $ for a babysitter). I seriously resent being forced to use my time, gas and money for the “reward” of sitting for hours on hard seats, sweating in the summer evening sun, making trivial small-talk with people I already see more than I see my own family, for the privilege of watching overpaid prince-lings sweating, swearing, spitting, scratching and occasionally whacking a little white ball with a stick. Nope. Not “fun”, not a “reward” — I don’t care if it’s FREE, it’s punishment.

        Lizzie, it sounds like you do a great job with planning events (yay for providing transportation!), and I love that you really care about creating fun events — I’d love to have you as our office “fun-maker”. Please know that I am NOT criticizing you or trying to downplay your efforts! Do consider that professional sporting events may not appeal to everyone (I personally consider this to be a “gendered” activity, with a big group of mostly men Bonding While Talking Baseball and Football). Perhaps you could plan a buyout of a bowling alley for a few hours during the workday. People could watch or play (but please don’t reward people for actually being good at a sport!)… bowling isn’t my thing either, but I found a 2 hour afternoon bowling outing far more palatable than MLB games. Anyway, I hope you can come up with other team building events that appeal to people like me and Beancounter Eric (hope you don’t mind that I’m speaking for you, B.Eric!).

        1. Beancounter Eric*

          Not at all.

          A couple of thoughts/questions….first, I’d argue what while my time belongs to the company during work hours, attendance at a sporting event falls outside the scope of my duties. As I see it, I was hired to manage the accounting & finance issues pertaining to the company, and “team-building” events at a baseball game don’t really fit that role.

          Second, I don’t begrudge the players outrageous salaries – I believe strongly in free markets, and if enough people want to pay to watch a silly childs game being played by adults, so be it. Just don’t expect me to attend, and don’t take my tax dollars to build their stadium. (Sorry about the political statement)

          As for bowling – OK, except the last two times I attended a company bowling event, my job was eliminated within six months. Coincidence??? Probably, but why chance it?? :-)

          Want to do a team building project? How about partnering with Lions, Optimist, Elks, Rotary, or one of the other volunteer organizations on one of their events? Meals-on-Wheels, Habitat for Humanity, etc. can always use help, and may be able to incorporate a corporate group into a project.

          1. Lizzy*

            I hear ya both – the game is during work hours, and we’re specifically taking 2 vehicles so that people that want/need to be home by 5 can still do so, and people who want to stay until the end of the game (if it’ll be past 5) can still do so.

            I totally understand that baseball isn’t for everyone. To be honest, I thought it was dumb and boring and stupid until my son started playing and I had to learn anyhow HAHA! The vast majority of our staff are fans of this particular team, and the rest of the staff, by and large, still appreciate and support the team and are excited about going. (The team has one a World Series in the past 5 years; won’t get into any more specifics to keep it somewhat anonymous!) The “complainers” actually are all ones that have stated they are VERY excited about it and CAN’T WAIT. I think I might feel better if someone was like “seriously? baseball?? LAME” lol

            I also get the gender-issue. We wouldn’t do a NFL outing because a) not very many staff are NFL fans and b) it is more of the “man game”. In our particular case, we have 4 males on a staff of 22, so…. we’re much more likely to be “ladies game” ;)

            I appreciate the comments, and I do not at all take offense. Analysis Paralysis, thanks for the kind words! I like being the “fun” person (most of the time) and this was more of a “SHEESH people, quit nit-picking!!” comment than anything :)

            Beancounter Eric, LOVE THOSE IDEAS!!! A couple of years ago we started doing an adopt-a-family for the holidays. It’s the only thing we’ve done for more than one year because it was so successful and well-received. I’d like to mix it up and not just support one charity/organization, and hadn’t thought about some of your suggestions!! I’m totally stealing them for future ideas :)

            1. Beancounter Eric*

              A few others which come to mind – is there a 5k/10k road race in your area? – the organizing group will be glad to have volunteers, and may be able to work a mention of your group. Talk to your local Emergency Management Agency about their Community Emergency Response Team (CERT)…..have enough people, you might be able to get a training program worked up for your business.

      2. House of Cats*

        Yeah, I am kind of with them. I find baseball games endlessly boring, I get sunburned easily etc. I would not want to go on that outing, and I’d be pretty mad that it was mandatory. In general, mandatory “fun” is a bad idea because you can’t force people to have fun; you can only force them to show up and resent it.

    4. Annabeth*

      I don’t think there’s anything out of line about those questions or comments. Those are not “weirdly dramatic response” but quite normal and predictable ones.

      This is not team-building. There is NOTHING about being forced to spend a day bored to death at an event I could not care less about that will help me work better with my colleagues. I’d be furious if this was mandatory in my workplace! If you want to organise a jolly to a baseball match fine, but don’t do it in the guise of “team-building” and force everyone to suffer through it with you. That’s not reasonable or effective.

      1. Lizzy*

        To be honest, I don’t get the “team-building” part either. The Powers That Be indicated it’s a “mandatory team-building activity” (their words, hence the quotes), so…
        I would get if someone asked the questions/comments if they weren’t excited about going – these all came from people who would willingly take a day off to see this particular team play anyhow, and are just being nit-picky lol!

    5. Zip Silver*

      I personally am a baseball fan, but free tickets to a game aren’t really worth much. With 160 games a year, you can buy tickets for $5-$10. Going to a game is cheaper than going to a movie.

      1. Lizzy*

        Normally, yes, I agree. However, this team recently won the World Series, and the seats are pretty good ones, so they actually cost about $30/person. Tack on $25 each for food/drink, plus transportation (our office is about an hour away from the stadium) and t-shirts for the staff, and we’re looking at over $2000.

        To put it in perspective, our office usually spends about $1500-1800 on the holiday party, which is our “large” event of the year, and around $2oo-250 for a staff lunch.

    6. Observer*

      You’re getting to go to a MLB game, all expenses paid, for FREE.
      =========================================================

      That’s nice if you WANT to go to an MLB game. But, if you don’t care about going to an MLB game, then it’s not unreasonable to want to have the other perks. And, if you want to NOT go – if going is a burden for any reason – then the extras are what makes this acceptable.

      And that’s assuming that no one in the group has a bigger problem – they can’t eat the typical stadium food for some reason, someone has a problem with the seating, whatever.

      The fact that this thing has to be “mandatory” says that maybe a significant amount of people just have no interest in this. And, if you are talking about non-exempt staff, it’s not even nominally free if it’s out of work hours. Because any “mandatory” actually needs to be paid for, whether you put the word in quotes or not.

      1. Lizzy*

        I hear ya!!

        As I mentioned in the other follow-up comments, the vast majority of our staff are fans of this particular baseball team, and baseball in general – and these are the ones making the nit-picky comments I referred to :) The game is during the work day, and I’m making sure that we have 2 vehicles so that staff that want/need to be back by 5 can be, and staff that want to stay until the end of the game (if it runs long) can do so. It’s absolutely not our intention to have this be a burden or punishment in any way. The Powers That Be indicated it’s “mandatory”, as in: it’s an all-staff event and if your reason for not going is “I just don’t want to go”, well… If you’re sick or legitimately have a reason why you can’t go, that’s fine. (We actually had one staff respond as “tentative” accepting on the Outlook invite, because she wasn’t sure if she would be needing to travel that week. We had preemptively chosen a date when we knew travel wouldn’t be required of any staff; literally all other staff but 1 responded within minutes with “OHMYGOSH THIS IS AWESOME I CAN’T WAIT” or variations thereof. The 1 that didn’t respond immediately was out of the office that day LOL.)

        We try to accommodate everyone’s dietary needs, and with a smaller office (22 staff total), it’s much easier than with a larger office. We only have 1 vegetarian, and she frequently goes to games for this team anyhow, so I know she’s good to go. The only other restriction is that one of our staff is allergic to dairy. She’s the CEO and was the one that said “OH MY GOSH YES LET’S DO THIS!!!” when the topic was initially mentioned, so I know she’s on-board, too. Otherwise, yes, I would absolutely be sure that everyone could actually eat something!!

        I really do appreciate everyone’s comments and concerns. Please rest assured that we try very hard to make staff-activities fun for all staff (or at least not DREADFUL). We’re generally a good group when it comes to all-staff events like this, and many of us do hang out outside of work. I wouldn’t recommend this type of event for every office; it just so happens to be a good fit for our particular office. :)

  181. Carolyn*

    This happened YESTERDAY.

    I work in a sales office with a showroom – we manufacture large, intricate and expensive teapots and hold open houses for our authorized dealers so that their prospects can see these teapots in action and learn more about them. It falls to me to organize these events, shop for the lunch, set it all up and put it all away. For the past nearly 4 years, perishable leftovers were fair game, but things like cans of soda and snack sized bags of chips are put away for when dealers bring prospects in for demonstrations or our next event.

    One employee with a bad attitude and a huge sense of entitlement was not in the office the day of the event – he comes to me and asks for a can of soda since he missed the event. I told him that I had put everything away for the next event. He argues that since he wasn’t here, he should still get it. I tell him that if he would like a soda, he can purchase it from the deli next door, but these sodas are for guests and events. He starts angrily mumbling in a language that I do not speak (though from tone I guessed he was not complimenting me …) and walked off – I kept noticing him talking to others and angrily staring at me, but he gave me the silent treatment all morning. Whatever.

    I send out an e-mail reminding everyone to eat the leftovers in the fridge and when I am in the kitchen, several employees (including this dude) come in – I point out where everything is and tell them to please eat as much as they can so it doesn’t go to waste and then get back to my busy day. Apparently after I left (as was gleefully reported to me by another coworker. sigh.) this guy informed all present that I was a “b*tch” for not giving him a soda, he was “done with” me and he would never take anything I offered him ever again. I didn’t care about the antics … I did care about being called a b*tch in front of coworkers and the visiting dealer techs in for training. Before I could talk to my boss (this guy is an ongoing discipline problem and a hothead – there was a reason not to confront him directly, the only one he barely respects is our boss), he made several other cracks at my expense to other employees (each gleefully reported as they happened. sigh.)

    When I spoke to my boss he said he would talk to the guy and that it was really all HIS fault because he never made an official policy regarding leftovers. I told him word from on high would be a good thing, but this was how it had been handled for nearly 4 years without incident and that my issue had nothing to do with who got to drink soda and EVERYTHING to do with being called a b*tch and complained about to coworkers and visitors alike. I sympathized with my boss wanting to just talk to him about it and drop it there – this guy is a PITA and I didn’t envy him having to try and get this guy to see that he was out of line … but that was not working for me. I made it clear (by saying several times) that I expected an apology and I wanted that apology made in my boss’ presence. (“sorry you got mad at me” was not going to work for me and every apology I have ever heard out of him in the past – and there have been many – take that tack!)

    The guy calls today and mumbles an apology to me – I explain that we can discuss this further and clear the air the next time that he is in the office, but that further discussion in person was absolutely necessary to me. He has been miserable to coworkers, employees at other locations (HR made special mention that employees needed to be present in the office for the end of year lunch and there would be no gift cards or makeup days for employees not at work SPECIFICALLY because of the fit he had when he missed a free lunch because he was out installing a teapot that day … and got a per diem to buy his own lunch anyway!!!) and we have had complaints from customers … but yesterday he called the wrong woman a b*tch and I have no intention of accepting it. He let me know he would be in the office Monday and we could speak then. Good.

    Over a can of Pepsi.

      1. Carolyn*

        Thank you!!! I feel very good about this! He has been awful to others that do not feel comfortable speaking up, but that is not the case for me. He is not 100% awful (more like an irresponsible and impulsive child who has tantrums on the reg. sigh.), so I am hoping that our brief chat on Monday makes an impression and he goes forth and sins no more! Well, baby steps … I would settle for not calling people b*tches … ;)

        In my teen years I was put into leadership positions where I have been either significantly younger than the team or the only woman (or both!) so it is second nature to insist on being treated with respect and asserting myself and staying cool and collected around dramatic people. Who knew backstage work would be good for my office job! LOL

      1. Carolyn*

        A question I have asked myself a billion times – he is a liability. We are short on teapot techs and they are vital to our operation … methinks that has A LOT to do with it.

  182. The Other Dawn*

    Oh, I finally thought of one! And it’s a two-parter.

    Years ago at Old Job (a teeny tiny bank), we had a temp that we eventually hired. (Most of our employees started as a temp and were then hired (or not).) We’ll call her Sally.

    First part: Sally worked in my two-person department as a temp (it was just me and her). We decided to hire her on, so I got to offer her the job and tell her the salary number. Well, she was happy about the job, but she got really offended about the salary. Very offended. Like, a snarling face and high-pitched voice. She said the salary was “a slap in the face after all [her] hard work.” She said she has a degree and that should account for something. Um, OK. I understand it’s on the low end, but this wasn’t exactly a highly paid job that required a degree and she’s not obligated to take the job. I told her that. She then decided to have a discussion with the CEO (she skipped a couple levels there) and unfortunately he caved (I wish I knew why) and gave her a little more money so we hired her. ARRGGHHH

    Second part: Sally decided that the Accounting department would be more interesting and she would be able to better utilize her degree, so she applied to be the accounting assistant. Again, this really didn’t require a degree, as it was simple account reconciliation and things like that. So, the time comes for her first review in the new department (again, it’s just two people: she and the staff accountant). She gets a good review, mostly Meets Expectations with a few Exceeds Expectations thrown in where appropriate. She even got one of two Significantly Exceeds Expectations. Well, this was not good enough. This was a horrible review (in her opinion only). She argued about it with her boss. Argued. In a loud accusatory voice. I heard her comparing herself to other people (one of them was me) and asking how she could possibly get that rating when John does half of what she does, or does she have to wear a suit every day like Dawn to get rated Exceeds Expectations (yes, we had a category at that time for being well-groomed-UGH, and she was rated Meets Expectations, which was the standard rating). More crying ensued. Again she went to the CEO’s office. (He came walking out at one point to get her a box of tissues and the look on his face was priceless.) She then went home that night and had her husband help her rewrite the entire review. She gave herself Significantly Exceeds Expectations in EVERY category. I was pretty freakin’ happy when her boss didn’t back down. That was the beginning of the end for her, though. Everyone in the office knew what had happened and sided with the boss. Some, of course, made it very obvious how they felt and ignored her. Others didn’t. I just kept my head down and tried to keep it business-like. But it was so awkward in the office after that. She felt unappreciated by her boss and that the job wasn’t worth it, so she quit maybe a month or two later.

  183. IsobelDeBrujah*

    I am the receptionist for a smallish nonprofit and the day after I started my job I was informed that I needed to make a request to have my name moved in the office listing because I was “listed ahead of someone who is above you.” I was confused because I assumed that any office listing would be alphabetical. As it turns out, yes, the list IS alphabetical via last name and since my real last name starts with a C, I was ahead of the person who told me I had to request a change because her name starts with W.

    At the next staff meeting, my very first with the company, she spent ten minutes talking about how unfair it was that “someone,” was listed “above,” her given her seniority and skills. She’s still angry about it several months later and brings it up every chance she gets.

    1. Detective Amy Santiago*

      … they wanted you to CHANGE YOUR NAME so you couldn’t be before a higher up on an alphabetical list???

      run away

      1. IsobelDeBrujah*

        It was just one person. My actual boss kindly explained to her that the list was alphabetical and that nothing was changing but she acted like it was a personal attack.

        1. Taylor Swift*

          If her name started with a W, wouldn’t she be below pretty much everybody anyway?

          1. Hunger Games Summer*

            No joke – I have a W last name and know to just look at the bottom or close to it.

            1. Nallomy*

              Seriously. I’m always like, “Just give me the last page of the sign in sheet, I know that’s where I am.”

              I am kind of irrationally annoyed that the login on the copy machine – one must find one’s name and then enter one’s PIN – doesn’t alphabetize, but just adds new folk to the end of the list. Last year I was on the last screen of names, so I could just hold down the scroll arrow. Now I have to do that and then go back to the second-to-last screen. UGH. And a bunch of people are leaving this year, I might wind up on screen 5 or 6 of 8 by September.

          2. IsobelDeBrujah*

            I was hired as a result of an expansion. Before I got here she was the only person in the clerical department and as such, the only person on the list for our department. Now that there are two of us, she can’t be the only person on the list anymore.

    2. imakethings*

      I’m also a receptionist. People who are just above the lowest level employees really, really like to make that tiny semblance of authority known. On my first day I got a lot of, “Well I’m not a receptionist, so I don’t do THAT” from a young woman training me. We’re in all honesty equals, I have more education and training, and get paid more, but okay honey. Whatever makes you feel important.

  184. Larina*

    Buckle up, everyone, because I have a somewhat related story that I love to tell.

    About a year and a half ago, my department started actually getting more organized and we started tracking mistakes we found in other people’s data entry work. This was important for us to figure out where misunderstandings were, and also who might need extra training or assistance with doing the job. We are still kind of a startup, so there’s not as much organization as we really needed, but this was the first step towards doing that.

    As part of this new process, we were double checking our peers’ work, and then leaving notes for them in a shared excel doc. I ended up double checking a woman who I had been relatively friendly with, but who was notorious for making a lot of mistakes. I wanted to be thorough, because we were doing a training exercise, and it was going to be a great learning experience.

    So I finish looking over all her stuff, and I leave at 5 like I do every day. She normally stayed until 6. She started looking at the notes I left her, and got angrier and angrier. She vocalized to her manager that I was being “too nit picky” and “was out to get her.” We’d both applied to a manager position in our department, so I was sure in her mind, I was trying to sabotage her to our department head.

    She stayed later than usual that day, and ended up writing me two separate emails about how I was out of line to write out all of her mistakes and how I was only doing it to make her look bad. I don’t check work emails at home, so the next morning, I get in and she’s at work earlier than usual. I check my email, and have zero idea of how to respond to this. She tried to speak with me about the issue, but I wanted to at least wait until our manager got in, because her response to feedback just felt way over the top.

    The two managers in our department got in a little later, I spoke with one in private about how confused and thrown off I was, and while that was happening, this woman quit because our managers had the audacity to try to listen to both of us during the conflict. She ended up emailing all the managers and department head saying she was totally in the right about everything.

    Tldr: A woman got mad at me for doing my job and telling her that she wasn’t that great at doing her job. As a bonus, because of my thorough work, I was offered a promotion 6 months later to lead QA for my department.

  185. MuseumChick*

    Lord. I’m surprised she was allowed to get way with that for so long. Was there any reason there was never a “Ordering items in the correct school colors is part of your job.If you can’t do that we will have to re-think your position here.” conversation with her?

  186. Noah*

    We recently changed phone systems at work. With the new system, you no longer have to dial 9 first for an outside line. You just dial the number. You would think the world has come to an end. The best part is, they were able to set it up so you can dial a 9 first and it will just ignore it. So even if you are used to dialing the 9 it doesn’t matter.

    There is one person who has been complaining about the new phones for the last week.
    “I don’t know how to transfer!” You push the transfer button then dial the ext, just like the previous system.
    “I don’t know how to access my voicemail!” You push the voicemail button, then enter your PIN, just like the previous system.

    Literally, beyond the dialing 9 thing I have found nothing that works any differently from a user perspective. Apparently the big change was on the back end and it is VoIP and connect to Active Directory. Makes it easier to add new people and expand it across locations.

    2. heatherskib*

      I honestly never got the entire 9 to dial out thing. If you accidentally double hit the 1 button for long distance, you are accidentally going to call 911 in the US

      1. Sled dog mama*

        Usually if you had to dial 9 to get out you’d have to dial 9911 to get 911

        1. Rat in the Sugar*

          On our office phones you have to dial 9 first, and the way they are set up it is absolutely possible to accidentally dial the police. We try to tell people that if you do that, you need to stay on the line and tell them it was an accident, but people freak out and hang up and then the police show up wondering what’s going on.

        2. JanetM*

          Our old system required dialing a 9 for an outside line, and they did in fact have problems with people accidentally calling 911.

          So the system was modified to require dialing 8 for an outside line instead of 9.

          Oh, the humanity. Oh, the outrage.

  187. DCGirl*

    I thought of another one. A dear friend on Facebook has been posting about how deeply upset her husband is by the fact that the chocolate nozzle on the fro yo machine (this is Silicon Valley, folks) is broken so he has to go up a floor if he wants chocolate fro yo.

    2. Mrs. Fenris*

      I have a colleague who posted on a professional website about a time she posted on Facebook that she never had time to work out. Someone replied, “why can’t you just use the company gym?” Apparently he worked for Google. He had no grasp of an industry where a company with 30 employees is considered large, and these little perks just do not exist.

  188. Easter*

    I clerked for the same firm in a small community both summers of law school. The Big Story of the time was that a local judge had been arrested for slashing the tires of the cleaning lady who accidentally parked in “his spot” after hours when she arrived to clean the courthouse. Apparently, she’d done if a couple of times before (wanting to park close to the building since she’d be alone and leaving the courthouse after it was dark) and he’d “warned her” by leaving her notes, but she did it again and so he slashed her tires. Totally reasonable.

  189. Exhausted NP Middle Manager*

    I recently had our CEO come into my office to complain that the “millennial” workers in our office were feeling entirely too entitled and were whining about stupid things. What were those things, you ask (FYI, I’m Gen X, and the CEO is a Boomer)? 1) After submitting a purchase request, which has to be signed by the CEO, that the CEO return the PR to the submitting staff rather than give it to the CFO. PRs frequently go missing in our office after being turned over to one or the other; 2) After submitting a PTO request, which has to be signed by the CEO, that the CEO return the time sheet to the submitting staff, who is required by policy/procedure to staple it to her time sheet. PTO requests frequently go missing in our office after being given to the CEO or CFO; and 3) We put a piece of blank paper on the fridge in the kitchen so we can write down things we run out of (office supplies, coffee creamer, toilet paper,etc.). This was because no one is ever sure who to ask when we run out of things. If we ask the CFO, she says the Admin Assistant orders it, ask the Admin Assistant, she says she doesn’t have the authority to get whatever it is, that the CFO has to get it. And suddenly we have no toilet paper.

    So, I gently pointed out to our CEO that this wasn’t “whiny millennial entitlement,” but actually reasonable requests to make the office a liveable space where we can get our work done. She flipped out. “SO WHAT, I’M SUPPOSED TO SEND OUT AN ALL-STAFF EMAIL WHEN I SIGN SOMETHING?” No, you just put it in the mailbox of the person who submitted it. “IF I GIVE THE PR BACK TO THE PERSON, WHO MAKES THEM COMPLETE THE PURCHASE?” No one. If they need something, which they obviously do, because they filled out a form, they will make sure to follow through. If they don’t, what’s the difference? You fulfilled your part of the transaction. “WHY DO THEY FEEL THE NEED TO NITPICK EVERYTHING?!” They’re literally asking for a blank sheet of paper to get stuck to the fridge on which we can write “toilet paper.” Doesn’t that help everyone, while costing us nothing? “I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT FORMS GO MISSING IN MY OFFICE.” Well, if you give them back to the staff person, you can’t be accused of losing them. “SHOULD I TELL EVERYONE I JUST SIGNED SOMETHING?” Literally just answered that 30 seconds ago.

    I then pointed out that we have gotten rid of employee merit raises, took away professional development funds, reduced the amount we’re paying to employee HSAs, and closed a program. If they want a piece of paper on the fridge, PUT A PIECE OF PAPER ON THE FRIDGE.

        1. nonegiven*

          Why did the toilet over flow? I had to use copy paper because there was no toilet paper.

  190. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

    Our management gave us free bottled water. The problem was people were taking bottles, drinking a few sips and when the water was room temperature, throwing it out and getting a new one. So there was a huge waste of plastic bottles and water. They stopped the bottled water and gave everyone a reusable insulated water bottle (branded with the company name). The reaction from a few people was interesting. They acted like they were given poison because now they had to drink tap water. BTW: our city has one of the highest rated safe tap water in the country. One guy: “This is against my rights, I can’t drink this stuff”.

    1. Rincat*

      Did they not realize most bottled water brands are from municipal water sources? Especially the cheaper ones that I’m sure the company probably bought?

      1. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

        You’re looking for common sense where none exists. The bottled water came from rhymes with MalWart so it was super cheap water to begin with. But it was free!

      2. heatherskib*

        I’ll vouch, my hometown is the named source of a nationally known water brand. it comes from a spigot from the same aquifer under most of our state. Field trips to the water plant were common.

  191. Malibu Stacey*

    I was the senior admin for a dept that accepted payments. Our already large company acquired two others in a year and since it was also a shady company, we charged our clients to pay online. So we got to the point that we literally had hundreds of pieces of mail delivered every day (we also got anything that was generically addressed to the company because it might have a check enclosed), on Mondays and the day after holidays it would even more.

    It went from taking 1/2 an hour to sort and deliver our dept’s mail to taking 3+ hours so I got permission from the my boss, the AVP of the dept, to ban personal employee deliveries like Amazon to the office. When I sent out the email re: the change, someone replied to me obviously thinking they were forwarding to someone else, asking who I thought I was, I’m just a secretary & an anorexic b*tch.

  192. coffeeandpearls*

    Coworker, Frick, was giving a presentation to our department on how we were changing the schedule of “group process day”, which is how we hire student workers for our department. Frick was in charge of this assignment, so this was more of a “here’s the plan , do you have anything we can tweak” presentation.

    During the presentation, coworker Frack was noticeably scribbling very furiously and aggressively in his notebook. His scribbles became so loud that Frick stopped the presentation and said “Frack, you seem upset. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable with the change, or address any concerns?”. Frack turned purple replied ” Honestly, I will NEVER be satisfied”! I mean . . . if people show you how they are- believe them! I excused myself to go laugh in the bathroom.

  193. Kat Map*

    This will probably get lost in the sea of amazing stories that precede it, but here goes.

    At my last job, we had flexible hours — we could come in anytime between 7am-10am and stay as late as 6pm. The 7am start-time was kind of unenforced for a while, though. Some people would come in earlier to get things done before others arrived. Supervisors and managers knew it was happening but didn’t have a problem with it, because hey, work was getting done. Until one day the CEO of the company decided that the 7am start time was to be 100% enforced.

    People got really angry. A small group of early-morning-arrivers started posting things around the warehouse, in washrooms, along hallways… For example, we had little company slogans like “Expand your mind!”, which then had the amendment “…but not before 7” posted next to it.

    There were a lot of incidents of small changes resulting in big upsets, but that one stands out in my mind, to the point that the phrase ‘…but not before 7’ kind of taking on a life of it’s own.

    2. Catabodua*

      I love this. I’ll admit that I’d probably be tempted to deface the motivational posters as well.

  194. A Potterhead for life*

    When I started at a financial company I immediately realized we had a serious problem with our shredder for confidential documents (and there is A LOT of it!) . The shredder was circa 1970, weighed about 50 pounds, and “shredding” consisted of cutting 1″ horizontal strips of paper, so that any report that was printed on landscape would be cut into extremely legible, easy to reassemble strips of report data. The staff would run all of the confidential paper through this ridiculous shredder and then THROW IT INTO THE CITY TRASH. By the end of my first week we had thrown the shredder away and engaged a company to provide huge confidential bins for actual destruction.

    The staff was thoroughly incensed by this change and they complained endlessly. One staff member slammed a door and pushed office equipment around because she believed the change was unnecessary and an affront to her competency (even though she had nothing to do with the original shredder!).

  195. Tasha*

    My example is kind of the opposite–a dumb, trivial change. Our company with a standard work week of 37.5 hours was acquired, and the new owners extended the normal end-of-day from 4:30 to 4:45 so our work week aligned with theirs. Yeah, no one at our location respected that.

  196. Bea*

    When I first started I realized the person prior didn’t do much in terms of statements or early collection. So I started sending statements regularly. Easy and normal, right?

    No. I got a call from someone crying because she was stressed out. She has just paid her bill in full. Nobody told her over all these years that sometimes things cross in the mail. Full on meltdown “But WHY would you send me a statement?!?” No extra charges or harsh wording.

    I was scared to change procedures as the new management but thankfully everyone is really happy with my choices because it’s easier and streamlined. I can only imagine if someone pushed back on anything let alone flipped their lids over less work!

    1. WaitingforMacaroni*

      Oh those statements. I always “loved” it when the invoice AND the statement would arrive in the same envelope. Since my job was only date stamp and verify, I would send both off to accounting.

  197. JKP*

    This one isn’t about a change, but rather a lack of a change. I was hired for a week of training/consulting for the owner of a small business (4 service professionals and 1 receptionist) because they were having problems with work performance. Every time the owner tried to address it with the staff, they complained that the problem was lack of sufficient training. So the owner thought they would be happy if he paid for a trainer to come in and help fill in whatever gaps they were struggling with. Nope. One employee quit the day before I even arrived (not because of me personally, they didn’t even know me, just because a trainer was coming). The rest avoided me as much as possible.

    When we closed the office early the first day to have a staff meeting (which was intended to create the agenda for what they wanted to be trained on during my week there), the remaining employees were 100% focused on negotiating to change the office hours so they could take their lunch breaks at the same time. Because of how client appointments are staggered, that would mean closing the office for 2 full hours in the middle of the day so the staff could have a 1 hour lunch break together. The owner was firm that it wasn’t possible, that would mean 6 less client appointments the office could schedule each day, and they were fully booked as it was. Two or three of them could go to lunch together and they could switch off each day, but someone had to remain at the office to see clients. (The owner even offered to have the phone forwarded to him, so no one would have to stay behind to answer the phone). Two or three HOURS of HEATED discussion about their RIGHT to all eat lunch together and not have to stagger their lunch breaks. I didn’t know anyone except the owner, so I just sat back and watched this all unfold in amazement. One of the employees started screaming about how they couldn’t stand for this anymore, and they QUIT, and stormed out, slamming the door so hard the pictures fell off the walls.

    I’m not sure exactly what the real issue was, because the office was actually overstaffed, to the point that they spent more time socializing with each other than seeing clients, so I’m not sure why they NEEDED to eat lunch together too.

    1. nonegiven*

      That reminds me, my sister started as consultant/pt office manager for a lawyer. She said fire xxx, lawyer said who will do her work? Trust me, you’ll never miss her.

  199. Betsy*

    Whenever we got a specific shoutout on a customer service survey, our boss used to give us a $5 gift card as a reward. I always saw it as unnecessary, but nice. Recently our boss was transferred out of our branch punitively (long story), and it was discovered that the gift cards thing was explicitly against company policy. He’s lucky he wasn’t fired for it. Our new manager nixed the gift card thing immediately and replaced it with a much more kosher “service buck” system, where he would give us a little paper dollar that would take a dollar off a single-serve beverage. It’s a little like being in second grade, but it’s whatever.

    One of our newer employees didn’t see the gift card thing the way I did. He was super angry when Old Boss left and we were told we wouldn’t be getting gift cards for that week’s shoutouts, or any future shoutouts. Everybody was just like, “Oh, okay.” We mostly stuck them in our lockers and forgot about them anyway. But this one dude was like, “Wow. So I don’t get MY gift card? That’s not fair. That just doesn’t seem fair. I just didn’t realize I was working for the kind of company that would allow this to happen.” He kept getting more and more worked up, like, we all thought he was gonna quit over this stupid gift card. He actually derailed the entire meeting because he couldn’t get over the gift card thing.

    I was like, “Greg, we weren’t entitled to those gift cards, it was a special perk Dan threw in to reward us. Technically they don’t have to reward us for survey comments at all.”

    He goes, “Fine. You know what? I just don’t appreciate being PENALIZED because Dan didn’t know the company policy.”

    And I was like, “I will buy you a $5 gift card, Greg.”

    He said, “No. It’s the PRINCIPLE of the thing.”

    He drafted a resignation letter and had us all proofread it for him, but he ultimately didn’t hand it in, and we all smirked at each other and then moved on. Three months later, we had our biannual meeting with the district manager. The DM asked us if we had any suggestions or concerns about working there, and Greg raised his hand and said he’d like the gift cards to come back, and he’d also like to be reimbursed back gift cards. He’s just really into this gift card thing.

  200. Chinook*

    Could be worse – my boss and I edit one set of procedures that had randomly placed commas. We remove them and the guy puts them back every single time. If he worked in the office, instead of from home, I swear I would remove that button from his keyboard!

    1. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain*

      Is his last name Shatner by any chance? That, may be, the way, he speaks, and pausing, often, in the middle, of a, sentence, seems, correct. People think that the Oxford comma debate is heated, wait until you meet a Shatner comma devotee.

      1. Isabel C.*

        The grade school “put a comma in when you take a breath” rule has done more harm than good, IMO.

  201. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms*

    I have 2! At my last job about a year before I left,we were starting to switch to electronic record keeping. All the shift leaders (of which I was one) had about 9 months to play around with it, get to know it, figure out bugs, etc., since we were going to be training everyone else. While I was doing this, all the other employees would constantly fret about it: This looks stupid, it’s too complicated, HOW can we be expected to do this??? Before they had even been shown anything.
    And then, recently, at my new job we transitioned to electronic record keeping…AND THE SAME THING HAPPENED!! Everyone just constantly complaining about how hard it would be. What a disaster it would be. How they would never get used to it, and we would screw everything up, even though it was the sane system we had been using all along, just without a paper backup. Including the supervisor of my dept (so great for morale).
    Spoiler alert: it went fine, and the only person still complaining is my direct supervisor….

  202. H.C.*

    I had ex-colleagues who were incensed when I declined having an office going away party (usually bagel breakfast or frozen yogurt afternoon snack) when I left OldJob. I’ve already said heartfelt goodbyes to the co-workers I’m friendly with and exchanged pleasantries with others I work with regularly – not to mention I’m fairly introverted and don’t really care for the public farewell speeches. But yeah, the outrage (some of which felt more about the free food than towards my leaving) felt out of proportion – and some still bring it up when I run into them months later.

    My only guess is that I might’ve set off a precedent of “no more goodbye parties” (however modest it might’ve been), but oh well—I don’t work there anymore.

  203. trees please*

    I work at a public library. A decision was made that items on the hold shelves would now be shelved with the hold slips (patron names) facing right. Previously they had been shelved with the slips facing left.

    We have had endless complaints about the change: it’s impossible to find names, so hard to read the tags, etc etc. We’ve received so many complaints that the change is now being discussed at the consortium level and reviewed for reversal.

    1. Not Karen*

      You could start a) shelving the books facing the opposite direction or b) move the shelves to the other side of the hallway.

  204. Not That Jane*

    I can tell a minor one on myself.

    So, our school organizes breakfast potlucks once in a while, and all teachers are expected to bring something to share (usually on in-service days, which can be pretty long). It had been announced a few weeks previously that a breakfast potluck was scheduled for a certain Monday morning. I put it in my work calendar and spent a couple hours assembling and baking a breakfast casserole the night before.

    When I brought it in on the scheduled morning, though, mine was the only dish. My principal then sheepishly explained that they had decided to have the potluck the following day because “we thought too many people would forget to bring anything on a Monday morning.”

    I got a little heated and asked when this change had been announced. He said that it hadn’t been, they just knew that no one would bring anything on a Monday.

    My retort: “Well don’t expect me to bring anything tomorrow. I put this date on my calendar and brought something today, and I’m not doing it again.”

    1. Another bureaucrat*

      What?! They didn’t announce it , just banked on people not planning. I would have been peeved, too, especially if I had made something myself.

    4. heatherskib*

      The sad thing is apparently they were right since no one else brought in food. But it sucks for you!

  205. Venus Supreme*

    My old boss (and owner of the company) once vomited at his desk when told he needed to confront a problematic consultant we were working with. He’s the most anti-confrontational, and the company was floundering.

    It was kinda funny — the exchange went, “Fergus, you’ll need to talk to Dave about how he’s treating the team.” “Oh.” *Turns and barfs into waste bin*

  206. Girasol*

    While it didn’t result in fireworks, one of the changes that seemed to go over worst was an office move to an area without a window. Everyone in a 200-person cubicle area had to exit the door to see sunshine. Early griping proved ineffective because, after all, somebody had to work in the middle of the building, it became a noise level complaint, but the one that came up with every change that followed.
    “We’re changing our entire process. You’ll get two days training and be expected to do it the new way. Understood?”
    “Yes, but are we going to get a window soon?”
    “We’re going to reorganize. Here’s why. Now you’ll work on this, with them, under him. Any questions or concerns?”
    “Do we get a window?”
    “Due to the financial downturn about a fourth of the team will have to be laid off. The announcement is next week. Questions?”
    “Will the ones who remain get a window?”

    1. Jennie*

      In all fairness: I don’t have a window, since I work underground. I just spent three days off-site in an office with a meeting room. It was glorious and gloriously productive.

  208. Blue Dog*

    1) One of the members of my team was complaining about his two hour commute each way and how it affected his productivity (apparently, it was my fault live there). We went against established company norms which, rightly or wrongly, disallowed telecommuting (under the theory that the employee needed to by physically present). Employee was allowed to work from home two days a week (saving him 8 hours a week off of his commute). His productivity increased dramatically. Accordingly, we authorized an additional day week if he wanted it. Employee got pissed saying we were discriminating against him and trying to phase him out.
    2) Employees started complaining that the food served at the month team lunches was always the same. So, the following month, I told the highest producer that she could pick whatever she wanted for the catered lunch as a reward. She told me it wasn’t her job and that I should do it myself.

    1. Sydney*

      Being in charge of ordering food is the worst. Everyone complains about it but no one wants to do it.

  209. That would be a good band name*

    This was at a call center. Around 30 aisles of about 20 cubes in each side of the aisle. There was a major protest when facilities decided that they couldn’t continue to empty individual trash cans at each cube so they removed the small trash cans and replaced them with large ones at the end of each aisle. People lost it. There were threats of quitting and someone managed to get ahold of the VP of operations at corporate (might have been acting CEO at the time, was promoted to that position later) to complain. The complaints and general fit having went on for at least a week (by fit, people would sigh dramatically and raise their voice to complain about having to walk 20 feet to throw something away). Someone gave in and said to bring back the trash cans.

    1. nonegiven*

      Call centers are soul sucking, I would have left everything on the floor where the trash can had been

  210. Robbenmel*

    Wow. To all of these. People are fascinating. But mostly, people are exhausting.

      1. Another bureaucrat*

        At this point, I honestly think schoolage children would behave better than the adults in most of these stories.

    2. Jillociraptor*

      I feel like anyone who tries to argue from the basis that human beings are fundamentally logical needs to read this thread!

  211. AlaskaKT*

    My company went from well groomed facial hair was okay to absolutely must be clean shaven (due to client rules). I had THREE guys threaten to quit, when we were already short staffed.

    I had to go through the clients handbook and argue to my boss that mustaches were allowed to keep those guys.

    I may have also implied that I would come to work with a facial hair prosthetic forever if they didn’t change it since there wasn’t anything in the rules about women having facial hair.

    So… I might have been part of the flip out, but we were already working 80+ hour weeks to cover our schedule and could not afford to loose 3 more people.

    1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      “My company went from well groomed facial hair was okay to absolutely must be clean shaven (due to client rules). I had THREE guys threaten to quit, when we were already short staffed. ”

      Honestly, I sympathize with this, as an occasionally bearded fellow. Your employer wouldn’t dream of ordering all women to get pixie cuts or dye their hair blue or get an eyebrow piercing, and this level of meddling in a person’s personal appearance is ridiculous and uncalled for. I know guys who’ve had beards or goatees for decades; it’s as much a part of how they look as their nose, and asking them to shave would be an outrageous request and violation of boundaries.

      1. Reader*

        For plenty of people, beards and facial hair are also things they have to maintain for religion. Even the military has religious exemptions when it comes to facial hair.

  212. Seal*

    One of the staff members I inherited at a new job had a coffee pot and made coffee for anyone who wanted it every day. While I’m a coffee drinker, I wasn’t terribly thrilled with her being the self-designated coffee maker for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that it was a distraction for many of our part-time workers, who used it as an excuse to sit around and chat. One day the coffee making staffer had an early doctor’s appointment, so another staff member took it upon herself to make coffee. When the coffee making staffer came in, she promptly pitched a loud fit over the fact that the other staff member had used too much coffee to make the coffee. As it turned out, the coffee making staffer had been using less than half the amount of coffee one would ordinarily use in a 12 cup coffee maker because coffee was “too expensive”. The poor staff member who dared to make a decent cup of coffee was regularly chastised for her wasteful habits for the next few days, at which point I told the coffee making staffer to get rid of her coffee maker. No one complained, probably because they were sick of drinking watered-down coffee.

  213. Spondee*

    A former coworker owned a pretzel cart, and he started bringing in a couple trays of pretzels every week – he called it “pretzel Tuesday.” Everything was clearly labeled. He put up huge signs saying “pretzels courtesy of Wakeen’s pretzel cart.” Everyone loved it. Then he left and people lost their freaking minds.

    Every month the office manager’s suggestion box was stuffed with notes to bring back Pretzel Tuesday! (She sent out a monthly office-wide email answering every question individually – so when she got 25 questions about pretzels, we all knew it.) Then people started using the Q&A sessions at the end of our company-wide meetings to demand pretzel Tuesdays. People just could not understand that this was never something the company provided.

    This went on for months. He left over the summer, and in December the company sent out an email saying that they see how invested we all are in pretzels, so in lieu of the the holiday party, they were bringing back Pretzel Tuesday.

  214. Anon just in case*

    Pens.

    I got caught in the middle of this and it sucked. I used to order the office supplies at OldExjob. We had generic pens for the entire office (think basic black Bic pens; I used them all the time; they were fine). Certain sales reps preferred to use special Pilot pens, because they flowed better or some such. I would order them each a box of their pens. It cost a little more to get them a box of their favorite pens, maybe added $6-8 to the office supply order. Until one day, in a frenzy of tiny budget cuts since she literally had nothing better to do, Bosswife decided we weren’t going to spend the money on them.

    Mind you, this is the same person who insisted we buy her a gel pen (which to be fair, she used to sign checks) but that cost maybe twice what the sales guys’ pens cost. She also told me not to tell them that I ordered her a special pen.

    Of course, this was a small office, and I unpacked the supplies in front of my desk near the supply closet, and they saw her pens. “Whose are those?”
    “…..”
    “No really; whose pens are those?”
    “They’re Bosswife’s.”
    “WHY DOES SHE GET SPECIAL PENS AND WE CAN’T HAVE OUR PENS I CANT WORK WITHOUT MY PEN AAAAAAAAAHHHH OMG WARRGGGGBBLLLLE”

    They didn’t complain to her–they complained to me. On and on and on until I finally went to my supervisor and told her if they didn’t let me order their pens, I was not going to order supplies anymore because I couldn’t take the bitching. I don’t know what she said to Bosswife, or if she said anything at all, but after that, I was allowed to order their special pens again.

    Sheesh!

    1. H.C.*

      Sheesh indeed, and I’m someone who’s fairly picky about my pens (and more often than not, just brought my own in!)

      1. Beancounter Eric*

        That’s me….if the company wants to buy basic BIC, Papermate, or no-name cheap ballpoints, fine, terrific, wonderful – I’ll bring in my Fisher SpacePen, my assorted Parkers, my Zebra and Pilot fine points, and at the end of the day – my handwriting is still nearly illegible!!

    2. Sydney*

      In this case tho it’s obviously because someone else is getting special treatment when all staff should be treated the same way. If it’s truly $$ then all fancy pens should go. Not just some. (and you don’t need a special pen to sign cheques)

  215. AnonasaurusRex*

    We changed our PTO plan last year. We used to accrue a set number of hours per pay period based on years of service. The change was that we now accrue based on hours worked (capped at full time hours so if you’re part time and work extra hours you get more), still based on years of service. Our hours roll over every year and we have a very large bank of hours, with regular cash-in opportunities. When forming the plan, I was part of the process improvement team who did analysis of how we should put the new plan together. We looked at the average hours used every year in different demographic groups, what other companies in our industry were doing, and we adjust the rate per hour worked UP so that everything balanced. Holidays are paid, sick time is a yearly bank of 7 days, but you can use PTO for anything over that. Overall if you take the average number of vacation days per year you will accrue 4 less days a year.

    One guy was so mad about the change and the loss of 4 hours that he was fired after throwing a fit, marching into the VP of HR’s office, and threatening to set his car on fire. His guy had worked here over 15 years and was already accruing at the highest rate possible. His PTO bank was nearly capped out and he really only took enough time off necessary to keep from capping out and “losing” time. He was complaining about days he would never use and threatening arson.

      1. Another bureaucrat*

        From your first sentence I was all set to be reluctantly forgiving to this person, because PTO and sick time are a big deal. ….then I got to “threatening to set his car on fire.”

        I think my jaw is still hanging open. WHAT.

    2. Madame X*

      WTH!
      What did he think that threatening to set his own car on fire was going to accomplish? “IF you don’t give me what I want, I will destroy my own valuable property!”

  216. BeautifulVoid*

    Not my day job, but it left a lasting impression on me anyway – I write as a hobby, and though I have a number of books published, I seriously doubt I’ll ever make a living from it (not that I’d want the pressure of that anyway). I imagine, though I could be wrong, that most people who write for the same publishers I do are in a similar situation.

    A ways back, one of those publishers (small to mid-sized, focused mostly on e-books) decided to do a massive website redesign/overhaul. The owners, who are lovely people and a pleasure to work with, sent out a mass email to all the authors detailing the changes and their goals and visions for the future. In this email, they said that one of the biggest issues with this upgrade was that they would have to manually create new entries/pages for every single book. A pain in the butt, but not the end of the world, and they assured us that while it would take some time, it would get done. (Obviously, because they want to sell books!) The deal they offered us was this – if we could fill out the attached form for each book we had published with them, it would make their lives a little easier, and those books would go up on the new site first. Again, they stressed that this was completely optional and that all books would eventually be listed on the new site regardless if we filled out the forms. The forms weren’t a big deal, just basic information (blurb, subgenre, author bio, etc.) in a specific format that they wanted.

    In addition to emailing this to all of us, they also posted the same message on the Yahoo group they created for us so we can communicate with each other for promotion and things like that. One woman sent back a SCATHING reply on the Yahoo group (so everyone could see) about how inappropriate this was, how dare they expect us to do their jobs for them, how we should all be fighting against this and refusing to do…this completely optional task that only took me a couple minutes. I don’t remember all the details, but my personal favorite part was when she wrote that if they wanted her to fill out those forms, she was going to send them an invoice for her time because she expected to be paid for her work.

    It was insane. I’d never interacted with this woman before, but I was tempted to respond to her. However, I couldn’t decide between gently suggesting she take a step back and a deep breath, or pointing out how ridiculous she sounded and how she probably wasn’t going to get her desired reaction from the rest of us. I probably would have been mature enough to stay out of any drama, but before I could decide for sure, her message disappeared. I don’t know if she had second thoughts and deleted it, or if the admins removed it and handled things privately. Either way, the idea of submitting an invoice and demanding to be compensated for something OPTIONAL still makes me snicker a little bit, and this must have been at least a year ago.

    1. V (a different one)*

      That story is beautiful. I have such a perfect vision of her typing in righteous fury, just fuming.

  217. Radiation*

    I work in Radiation Therapy, I’m not a therapist I’m in a sort of supervisory role where it’s generally acknowledged that in the clinical setting I can tell them not to do something or yes go ahead but I’m not their supervisor.
    When we are performing a treatment the patient is in one room and we are outside with AV monitors so we can see and hear the patient at all times. Usually there are 2 therapists working at one machine one person to do record keeping/charting and double check the other person who actually controls the machine. The cameras we use to watch the patient aren’t the best and over time they get worse but they do ok as long as there is sufficient light…enter my story.
    At old job (at a VA clinic) therapist A felt that the light should always be at a level that was most comfortable for the patient and to her that meant low, sometimes extremely low since patients lay on their backs and look at the ceiling. Therapist B believed that the person controlling the machine should decide how much light was necessary to be able to see on the monitor. The chief therapist agreed that the person controlling the machine should decide. So the department went through writing and approving a policy to that effect. Two weeks after this policy was official Therapist A was still complaining that she thought the patient should control the lighting level. From my office on the other side of the department I could hear this discussion so I marched over there to tell them to know off the discussion and treat patients. Therapist A decided to try to drag me into it. I was already at the end of my rope with her for various reasons. I apparently decided that it was time to summon my inner drill sergeant. I believe that what I told her was “This is a dictatorship not a democracy, YOU SUPERVISOR has dictated the policy. You don’t have to like it but you do have to follow it!” and when she tried to protest I told her “Shut UP!”
    I’m pretty sure I heard an “oorah” and some applause from the veterans waiting to be treated.

    1. nonegiven*

      I had to pull rank on some radiation techs. I had to get a patient advocate and the radiation doc’s nurse, and my mom involved. I was bullied and humiliated by the health care techs administering the radiation treatments, that were supposed to be supporting me, I thought. I pawed through all the gowns in the cabinet and couldn’t find one that I could get my arms into, 95% of the time. They bitched about the mess I made throwing gowns on the floor, which I did after I didn’t find one, and the nurse suggested using two gowns I couldn’t get my arms into. Really? What good does it do to have two gowns I can’t get my arms into, I had to put the gown on and walk across a public hallway anyone could walk down. I suggested if this is my choice I might as well walk across the damn hall topless. Tech Bitch said “if that’s your choice…” I went blind with rage. They had gowns that fit somewhere, they were denying me. Ended up, every time I walked in, bitch just as fat as me handed me a gown that fit on the way into the dressing room. Finally. I had used my last spoon by then. I had to drive an hour and wait in the parking lot to make sure, either my mom or my sister showed up before I could even bring myself to walk in the door. My sister was 100 miles away, she came when my mom couldn’t. I have follow ups every 6 months and I still won’t walk in that place alone. I still resent that one bitch that gave me so much shit and I take revenge in the fact she was the one that always had to hand me the gown.

      I have taken enough crap from people all my life. I’d rather die than take that bullshit again.

  218. Bagpuss*

    I think the weirdest reaction I ever had was when I moved offices within my company. I took over a substantial caseload from a retiring colleague, who didn’t do a proper handover, so I was very reliant on the files being up to date. I discovered that her secretary ha not done any filing for 3 months, so all the files were 3 months out of date.
    So, I had a chat with her, and having established that there wasn’t anything else more urgent, told her that I needed her to do the filing as a priority, because I literally couldn’t do my job util that was done.

    She literally had a temper tantrum. As in, screaming, shouting, stamping her feet .

    I’m not sure why she thought that expecting her to do a fairly basic part of her job was so unreasonable.

    1. DataQueen*

      I just had this argument with my admin today. Every week she sends me the expenses to date. Today I asked her, “listen, can you send me the expenses to date against the budget to date? $200,000 means nothing to me unless I know we were only supposed to be at $100,000”. And she just couldn’t get it –
      “No, i tracked the spending and you do the budget.”
      “I understand, but once I do the budget, I just want you to take the numbers from that budget, and put them in your report. That’s all.”
      “Yeah, that’s not in my job description . You plan the budget. I track expenses.”
      So in lieu of fighting, I guess I am going to continue to open my budget separately every time I get her expenses to date report, because that is not the hill I am going to die on. It’s frustrating, but I value an admin who has very set job duties and never deviates from them, because it’s reliable and consistent. I don’t worry about her being sidetracked by “more interesting” projects, or asking to be promoted, or getting bogged down learning new tasks – it’s a great person to have, even if it’s frustrating when you just want to change little tiny things.

      1. Leslie Knope*

        Could you pre populate the budget YTD or year end budget and she just fills in the expenses in a field next to it? (I agree though, this is totally reasonable!)

  219. Gray*

    We changed the way that we tracked processed inventory and asked that all analysts please initial and date product going into storage. Before this product was placed into storage with just the piece count affixed- the initials and dates were suppose to help accountability down the line.

    Out of a team of fourteen only two did not have a prolonged meltdown when this was announced. They were already labeling the product with counts, but taking a second to add initials and dates? Oh the humanity!

  220. Library Clerk*

    I worked at a library that was part of a system. The manager of the library was great, and very young. Like in her late 20’s and most of the staff was older and CRAZY. The library system decided, for many sound reasons, to stop having credit card swipers in the branches a few years ago. We moved to an online credit card payment system. Not many people paid fines by credit card, the swipers didn’t work well, because it was rare folks paid fines with credit cards staff wasn’t always sure how to even accept that form of payment, and so on. The online system was easy to use, cheaper than swipers, plus other libraries saw a bump in fines getting paid because people could do it from home. All good things.

    So the manager makes the announcement at a staff meeting that this change is coming in a few months. She outlines the reasons why, explains what training will be taking place, and even gives out talking points that can be used to explain the transition to patrons. Again, this is a change that will be taking place in the future plus support and training have been planned.

    The staff goes nuts. People are crying and saying that the library system doesn’t care about providing the patrons with good customer service and that it would be too confusing for patrons to understand how to make a payment online (this was 2011-2012ish) and that basically the world was going to end. I couldn’t believe it, even though this staff would freak about every little thing, so I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised.

    She handed it all really well but I think their constant freak outs and melt downs affected her health. She left after 5 years and I hear she’s doing great at her new library.

  221. Cath in Canada*

    I used to work in a department where people pitched a fit when we got a new lab manager who started actually enforcing the footwear rules. I prefer fully enclosed shoes or boots anyway (still do, even though I’ve not worked in a lab for 12 years) so I was a bemused bystander to all these tantrums about how it was unfair that you couldn’t wear open toe or open heel shoes any more. The poor lab manager was a perfectly nice guy, and people HATED him.

    A few months in, someone (who was wearing mid-calf leather boots) spilled some concentrated hydrochloric acid on the floor. We had to evacuate the building for a few hours. The person who caused the spill was fine (although a bit annoyed at the constant “don’t drop acid at work!” jokes), but her ruined boots were displayed at an all-staff meeting at which the lab manager yelled “the footwear argument is now OVER!”. It was pretty epic.

    2. Sydney*

      That’s a safety requirement. Companies can actually be fined for not enforcing it. And now if I remember correctly they can also charge the person who didn’t follow the safety guidelines.

      And duh – who wants to drop hydrochloric acid on their feet?

  222. Agile Phalanges*

    Um, my boss is freaking out because Yahoo’s home page isn’t loading for him. He’s not very tech savvy, and Yahoo is his portal to the internet. How will he know what’s going on in the world if he can’t see the headlines? I tried clearing the cache/cookies/history/etc., but that’s all I know how to do for him, and it didn’t help. He’s practically beside himself.

  223. Covered in Bees*

    Literally any administrative change at my small nonprofit makes people lose it. Asking them to maintain their calendars in Outlook, because people have varied schedules and our receptionist needs to manage client expectations. Switching from paper based timesheets to electronic. Requiring people to comply with state laws regarding breaks – as in, you need to take at least 20 minutes of your (fully paid) lunch hour. It’s like bizarro world.

  224. MrsJ*

    We’re on a top floor. No surrounding building is as tall as ours. Someone wrote on a few of our windows in dry erase marker, i.e., using them as a white board. Our office manager got very angry, took pictures as “evidence of vandalism” and DEMANDED to know who did it. She asked everyone in the area if they had seen who “defaced company property”. She still wasn’t happy when we showed her that it was easily erasable.

  225. Not Karen*

    I haven’t expressed my frustration about it, but it really pisses me off that someone keeps manually turning off the motion-sensing light in the bathroom…

    1. Collarbone High*

      Oh, same! Because by the time I realize the light has been turned off, the door has closed behind me and I’m plunged into darkness.

    2. BigSigh*

      Our company kitchen has these lights and recently someone started randomly turning off the motion sensor when leaving. We’ve got no new people, so it’s an odd habit to suddenly start, but no one could figure out who was doing it. One girl would not stop complaining to HR–and HR didn’t like her. I know for a fact he started doing it too, specifically because he knew she didn’t like that.

  226. clearance level, after the fact*

    Oooh oooh oooh! I thought of one, from my husband. Allison, please do not share on other websites.

    My husband is a software engineer at a tech company that has both a government contract division and commercial division. His team has been transferred from the government to commercial group, because it is actually working on a commercial product that has been developed based on something originally used for the government/military.

    Their team got a question from a potential customer that, as my husband tells it, is a technical detail that is totally completely within the realm of public knowledge. One team member emailed someone on the government team to confirm their understanding before responding to the customer. That person responded with some confirming data… and then in an afterthought, emailed one of the government division project managers to confirm that the data was not classified.

    Turns out the PM decided that it should be mark classified. The commercial team members didn’t have clearance and it had been forwarded to literally every member of the team except my husband at this point — the managers, the directors, everyone. As my husband tells it, a guy from IT, escorted by security, came busting into their offices without warning, grabbed the laptops and company issued cell phones, and said that the hard-drives were going to need to be literally shredded. I guess one manager pleaded for twenty minutes to respond to emails unrelated to this question and the IT/security folks stood in his office for the entirety of it. For about a day, my husband was the only one with a computer that could actually answer any customer questions or access anything with their active customer facing product.

  227. Greg M.*

    here’s a very minor one but I get to contribute *has cookie*

    So there’s a training site for Intel products where you “read” a small article and answer a 5-10 question quiz. You accrue points for doing this quizzes and get to spend them on some pretty sweet stuff completely free.

    Their old site had the quizzes be if you got 80% you got half the points and 100% would get all of them. However less than 80 it didn’t care and you could try again. Well wiht all the questions on one page you could use the system to figure out the answers without reading the article (multiple choice). Oh I changed this answer and my grade went up by 10% so that’s that answer and such.

    Well they restructured it so now that doesn’t work anymore. In the forums someone said they “should be ashamed of themselves” I responded with “for what? giving away free product? free ride’s over suck it up” and then they deleted their comment.

    also if you work retail google intel retail edge.

  228. KR*

    One of my first tasks at my old job was to switch everyone over from Outlook to the Google Suite. Everything went over – no one lost any data, but the complaining and resistance we faced was rediculous. One department declined to switch and said they refused to do it, so my boss told them that they were wondering their own and we would t not be supporting them for any glitches or how-to’s. As part of my job entailed teaching people how to turn on their PC sometimes, you can imagine how well that went.

  229. Free Meerkats (formerly Gene)*

    Had t0 go away and do actual work.

    But I remembered this one. There was a week where I was working out of our main office instead of our cozy little double-wide and I once myself by digging into the menu system of our giant printer/copiers and discovered that I could change the colors on the control screens. Since I like blues and greens, I changed everything to a good contrast selection of cool colors (as opposed to warm colors, not opposed to uncool colors); I left every single button and control exactly as they were, just changed colors. The next day you’d think I’d changed the entire system to Sanskrit and required one to do interpretive dance to make a copy.

    I could have just said, “Here, let me fix that.” but I didn’t, I just made some popcorn to see how far it would go. After over an hour of the entire admin staff standing there with them taking turns furiously punching buttons on all the machines, someone put in an emergency service call. The copier guy was there in under 15 minutes and spent an hour punching buttons. He finally said he didn’t know what was wrong with them and ordered new control displays for every machine.

    When he came the next day to install them, I’d changed them back…

  230. Merula*

    I have SO MUCH for this topic. I’ll try to keep it concise.

    My location has recently consolidated everyone from two buildings into one. As part of this, they replaced ALL of the furniture. Everything. Didn’t matter if it was a 30-year-old cubicle or a chair you got a month ago, EVERYTHING is brand-spanking-new.

    People are OUTRAGED. The cube walls are 8 INCHES SHORTER than they used to be. (This is to make sure that enough light gets to people at the center of the building, which had previously been an issue for people in one building but not in the other.) The cubes are now 8×5 instead of 7×6, of all horrors. The under-desk drawers are in DIFFERENT CONFIGURATIONS than they used to be. Etc. etc. etc. It’s like everyone would rather be in their stained, smelly, ancient cubes than take any change whatsoever.

    They also replaced the carpet, only there are some dips and divots that you can only feel if you’re wearing heels. (My guess is that the workers in thick boots walked over the area and said “yeah, that works”.) “Shoddy workmanship, they never should have done this.”

    And then, to add insult to injury, they updated the configuration of our intranet homepage to look more modern than 2004. “Now I can’t find anything!” Well, now we have a search bar, so you don’t need muscle memory to find literally every piece of information.

    No good deed….

    1. heatherskib*

      The carpet thing I would have an issue with for safety… but everything else is just people losing their minds.

      1. Merula*

        I hear you, and we are an incredibly safety-conscious workplace. (As in, safety is very literally our business. Second only to OSHA HQ.) It’s not something that can actually increase the trip and fall hazard, it’s more like, if you’re standing in one particular spot, one heel might feel a half inch lower. If you’re walking, you can’t feel it. And maintenance is fixing the dips as they’re reported.

        But most people aren’t reporting things to maintenance, they’re just standing around complaining about the new carpeting and telling everyone who passes “Hey, step right here, feel that?”

  231. JC*

    I work for an entertainment company and we would get free crappy t-shirts for some of the projects our company produced. Our new VP decided they were too expensive and he didn’t want to order them anymore. A co-worker asked about it and started crying when he was told we weren’t getting them anymore.

  232. Kathleen Adams*

    At my organization, one of the traditions is that after you’ve been here 10 years, you are given a watch at the company Christmas party. Not a solid gold watch or anything, but a nice watch, embossed very subtly with the organizational logo. I still have mine, and I’ve been here a lot longer than 10 years.

    Anyway, one of the guys here was REALLY pissed at the quality of his watch. I don’t know much about watch brands, so I have no idea if it was worse than mine or not (it looked OK to me, but hey, what do I know?), but anyway, he was so not happy. He’s a great guy (I consider him a friend), but gooOOOooolly can he bitch, and he went to town exercising that talent.

    It’s been at least 10 years and he’s still bitching. About a watch. A *free* watch. And he doesn’t even work here any more.

  233. no one, who are you?*

    Many years ago I collected data from about 70 separate organizations, 4 times a year. The orgs all used the same form, which was constructed in Word. After a few rounds of collecting the forms, realizing literally everyone was doing their math wrong, and spending A LOT of time chasing down corrections (usually a few hours before deadline), I recreated the form in Excel, added locked formulas, and presented it to my boss. He was so aghast at my proposal that he told me I would have to take it to the board of directors. I guess he thought I would back down. I didn’t, and I won. I still shake my head at how hard it was to change a dang form.

  234. NotAMoose*

    Purchase orders. Corporate office is now requiring that we track all spending with purchase orders. We have to guess the total amount that we’re going to spend, put in the purchase order, then order the things from the place and give them the PO number so that billing can kind of match. The person on site who buys the most stuff at this office is refusing point-blank to do purchase orders. It’s too much work, it takes too long, it’s not how things were done, everything worked fine in the first place why would you ever change a procedure that works, ad nauseum.

    I’m waiting for all of our vendors to start asking for the PO number, because they’ve been informed that it’s now policy, and won’t be able to fulfill any requests until they get our PO number.

  235. Leslie Knope*

    Just want to throw this out there.

    I think this whole comment thread has made me realize how important it is to be self-aware. I recently was asked by my Boss to start doing a certain Teakettle report. This report would most likely take 10 minutes a week, but for some reason I could start to feel the anger boil. Seriously. I felt like steam was coming out of my ears and that I was going to explode.

    At the time, and I think like most other things that have been mentioned, the report was a proxy for a whole slew of issues I was dealing with-some workplace related, some not.

    Somehow I had the common sense to smile, agree to the report, ask to follow up the next day, and then after taking a quick lap around the building, decided to finish work from home. That seriously saved me. I was able to get it out of my system, do some yoga, some swearing, and recenter before the next day.

    1. Kyrielle*

      You rock! That is so hard to do. I’m getting better at some things based on learning here and elsewhere also – I may compose the words in my head, but I don’t have to type them or send them. (Or say them, but it’s usually electronic.)

    2. CubeQueen*

      This has been enlightening to me as well. It’s made me realize that I’ve been complaining about some things that are not “hills worth dyeing on” and I need to just be grateful that I’ve got a good job and great coworkers.

    1. DCGirl*

      At my last job, one of our sales people referred to the fact that our diminishing sales were approaching the Mendoza Line. I was the only person who understood the reference.

  238. Nicole*

    I work in costumer service and there’s a lot of college students at the bottom of the totum pole. A new manger recently started and implemented a “no studying while working” policy and I swear a riot almost started. One employee stood in the parking lot after the meeting and gathered the rest one by one until there was a whole mob complaining loudly about the injustice of the change. Very dramatic- it still hasn’t settled down.

  239. Nic*

    I once worked for a company that was putting out new software, and folks did NOT like it. To try to increase morale they gave everyone in the company a shirt with the name of the new software on it.

    There were bonfires of shirts burned in protest at gatherings outside of work.

    That software became (after a couple of years of tweaking) THE best software I’ve ever used at a job.

    1. misspiggy*

      Bonfires! That’s magnificent. I’m so glad I kept reading down this thread.

  240. Person of Interest*

    This was a volunteer scenario with a group entirely of adults. I was in a co-lead role, and the other leader and I decided to change how we would do weekly attendance for the group. Instead of having the section leads take attendance of their section and submit it, we would just have every person sign in individually as they walk in (like, we have a spreadsheet with everyone’s name, they just put a check mark in the row for their name under today’s date). That way the group leads don’t have to worry about missing someone, or handing off the responsibility if they are absent one week, or submitting their list. And me and the other leader can quickly scan the spreadsheet to see if we have any attendance issues that need to be addressed. Simplifies things for everyone right? Well, two of the section leaders went BALLISTIC that we were taking away their responsibility, that they needed to take attendance to connect with people, the whole nine. Like, they wanted me removed as a co-leader since it was my idea. They eventually got over it and the new system stuck, but I never understood the vitriol over such a mundane change that seriously made life easier for literally everyone!

  241. The OG Anonsie*

    I had sort of the opposite of this, a coworker who raised hell about an extremely trivial process until she got it changed. She was in charge of ordering supplies for the department, and she placed orders once a week based on whatever was needed or requested since the last order.

    She was super, super mad that she was able to order all our supplies from Super Supply Hub, Inc but had to separately order paper and ink from the vendor that handled the printers/copiers directly*. This was because of the deal that we had with the vendor, and the prices were good that way. It didn’t take her much extra time (both systems were pretty simple), but she didn’t like that she had to place multiple supply orders because, god damn it! Because!! It doesn’t make sense to do two! I heard her go on at length about this to anyone who would listen at least once a week (at supply ordering time) for actual years. Eventually, and I’m not sure how, she got the process changed… And then continued to tell the story about how awful it was before and how she made everything better, to anyone who would listen, every week at supply ordering time.

    *This wasn’t actually the situation, but the real things were industry specific in a boring way so I’ve generalized it.

  242. De Minimis*

    At my father’s former employer, a lot of employees flipped out when the company began requiring direct deposit. I’m not sure how it got resolved. It’s pretty common these days.

    1. Nallomy*

      Related: I work in a school system that used to offer 21 (I think, maybe it was 22) or 26 pay periods per year, i.e. one could opt to spread out their salary over just the academic year or the full calendar year. When they started pushing direct deposit, they changed it so new employees had to have DD and 26 paychecks, but employees who were already with the district could still opt for 21 paper checks per year. A few years ago, I think 5-6, they made everyone switch to DD, and along with that to the 26 checks schedule. I work with people who still complain about that anytime anything relating to pay is brought up. We are fighting like crazy to preserve cost of living raises, and when our union reps bring that up in meetings, these people get up to complain about 26 checks per year.

    2. Reader*

      That could be quite problematic for individuals without bank accounts, who are disproportionately low-income or live in certain locales without accessible banks.

  243. Julie Noted*

    I worked for a government department that did lots of project work. We got a new CEO who, after settling in, discovered that he had no visibility of most of the projects, only what limited information was prepared and sent up the line when he enquired about anything specific. After digging around some more he learned that even the shorter, simpler projects frequently ran over time and/or budget, and that in many cases it couldn’t be determined whether it ran over time because there was never even a target delivery date!

    So he decided that we would have a project management framework. Projects costing over $50k (in taxpayers’ money, remember) needed to have a plan written up, and provide regular status updates. Neither the plan nor the updates had to be huge documents that take a lot of time to prepare (an update could be one paragraph per fortnight), but they had to exist. There was a central repository where they could be seen by relevant managers and stakeholders, so there shouldn’t be any more suprises about work landing on your lap or suddenly being 18 months late.

    The number of staff who lost their shit about having to write down the basic elements of what they were doing…people complained that the CEO was personally insulting their professionalism, and they should just be trusted to do things without any documentation. Some flat-out refused to comply. Some falsified information in their status reports. Some went to elaborate efforts to put a few token documents in the repository but create a locked-down, secret stash of ‘real’ project updates for their eyes only. One person quit and claimed it was because they were driven out by the unreasonable requirement of project plans. Someone else filed a harrassment claim over having their work (but not their name) included in a list of projects that were past their deadline.

    (Important background info: the management culture was terrible, right up to senior managers, so all of this outright subordination was tolerated because “what can you do”?)

    1. N*

      Oh. My. God. This happened in a quasi-governmental arena where I worked, too. Boss told CFO that she wanted to have a little more oversight into what, exactly, was happening with the administration of public, taxpayer funds. This basically just meant that, every now and then, she would like some updates about what was going on. CFO was so hostile about it that there were literally screaming matches in my office and I overheard the CFO sobbing behind closed doors a few times. She was obviously a little stressed but…oy.

      1. Julie Noted*

        Indeed.

        All staff had to attend mandatory fraud awareness training (unrelated to the project management stuff). I gave the presenter a quiet heads up beforehand, and one of the examples of red flags that make auditors dig more deeply is hostility to, and failure to comply with, standard documentation practices. Boy, did people get shitty about that!

  244. AB*

    Our office is on the 2nd floor of a 9 storey building. Some maintenance was being done which meant for about a week there would be less elevators than usual. Signs were put up asking people on the 2nd floor to consider taking the stairs.

    People were livid about the signs. A couple said they will now STOP using the stairs because of the principle of it. And a petition was made..

    1. Not Karen*

      I used to work in a building with a really slow elevator. One time this woman spent the entire time waiting for the elevator (a solid few minutes) pacing and muttering complaints about how slow it was. The elevator finally came and we got on. She got off on the second floor.

      1. Susan G*

        That could have been me. I have a knee problem that means I need to try to avoid climbing stairs whenever possible (walking is fine, and I pace a lot when I’m waiting because I can’t stand on it for too long or it stiffens up). I get SO much judgement for taking the elevator a short way, but the alternative is excruciating pain, swelling and not being able to walk for a week, so y’know, I have to put up with the judgmental colleagues rudeness.

        1. Clumsy Ninja*

          Susan G, I’m going to guess that you probably don’t complain about the wait time the entire time you’re waiting, though, right?

  245. Kate*

    My coworker is in the Army Reserves. She had to miss a week of work for Army stuff. The day before she was supposed to come back, she was told by her commanding officer that she was required to take a rest day. Our boss freaked. He sent an email at 3am wanting to speak to her commanding officer about how much he needed Coworker in the office that day. It was ridiculous.

    1. JLK in the ATX*

      As a former Reservist, unless the reserve day was already part of her orders, she is required to return to work, as expected. Those duty times are known in advance. The Commander can’t tell the Reservist to take another day off unless the orders read to include that day. Technically she isn’t under the Commanders orders, at that point. While the boss was a bit over the top in wanting to speak to the Commander, it’s not out of order for them to be upset that someone else told their employee they could have another day off.

  246. Anon-for-this*

    Not sure if this is quite what the prompt is asking for, but it was a weirdly dramatic response to a mundane thing at work.

    I was in my office, thought I heard someone ask me something out in the lobby and popped my head out to see – nope, just the manager talking to a customer. The manager turned her head and GLARED at me just as I ducked away to head back to my office. Note, I hadn’t said anything or made any noise – just stuck my head round the corner, then ducked back about a second later.

    Five minutes later, the manager finished up with the client, and slammed open the door to my office to give me a firm, very-raised-voice dressing-down along the lines of:

    “ANON! You CAN’T just stand in doorways like that! It’s COMPLETELY inappropriate and unprofessional! What do you think the customers think, seeing you standing there in the doorway like that?! It’s offputting to them, and it’s distracting to me! You really need to get more in touch with basic professional norms, Anon! If that sort of behaviour continues, I’m going to have to speak to Grandboss about it!”

    And then as she turned and stomped out, moments before she slammed my office door, I heard her say quite distinctly, “It’s f***ing WEIRD.”

    I’d been at that job about two years by that point, and all my previous feedback had been along the lines of “needs more training in X aspect of the software” and “works better with Y equipment than Z.” This came completely out of left field; I just sort of boggled, and made sure never to be within arm’s length of a door in the presence of that manager ever again.

  247. HR Pro*

    I had a coworker once who freaked out – got very angry – that the company was going to start putting a small amount of money into everyone’s 401k plan, even if the person wasn’t contributing from their own paychecks. He was livid. Because he’d get a small amount of “free” money. He thought it was a bad idea, but I NEVER understood why he thought it was a bad idea. (If he thought the company was using its money inappropriately, or if he thought money was being taken from some more important purpose to go into the 401k, I could have understood. But he never said any of that.)

      1. JanetM*

        I’m sorry; I don’t understand. I assume from your comment that there is something in Islamic law that would make this unacceptable; I’m curios what that might be.

  248. Kris*

    When our building was refurbished, we were required to remove all personal furniture and weren’t allowed to bring it back – only standardised furniture in the offices! One colleague tried to get a petition up and eventually went to the union – because he wasn’t allowed to keep his (very skanky) couch in is new office. He eventually left the organisation in a blaze of angry glory.

    1. DataQueen*

      We have a weird rule like this – but I think it’s to keep people from getting too comfortable with the seating plan. Like, “well, you can’t make me change offices because I bought this couch especially for this space and it only fits here.” Luckily, our facilities lead will get anything you want for you – standing desks, comfy chairs – although he drew the line at a bike desk when i asked once.

  249. DataQueen*

    The most ridiculous overreaction that has happened to me in the context of my office:

    We had this disgusting faux floral arrangement in the lobby. It was given to us by a local flower shop when we moved into the building – in 2002. It was 4 feet tall by 3 feet wide and in a 2 foot tall faux cement planter. It sat on the desk behind reception and had 15 years of dust on it. We went through 2 remodels and a full rebrand, and this thing stayed. My boss hated this thing – every time he walked through the lobby, he commented on how gross it was. “What will guests think?” “It looks like my grandmothers house in here!” “That think NEEDS to get out of the lobby!”

    Finally, I decided to prank him by moving the monstrosity into his office – i put it smack in the middle of his conference table with a note that said “I finally got it out of the lobby!” He proceeded to prank another coworker, who did another, until it ended up in a storage closet, where it’s been for the past 2 years.

    This past winter, we did an office-wide clean-up project. We were encouraged to purge purge purge – and I found those gross, dusty, gigantic flowers tucked in a back storage room, and I knew they had to go. But I figured, hey – they’re pretty big, right? And we’re a non-profit, so maybe I could get some money for them. So I put them on craigslist – make a donation to ____ and you get these flowers! No bites. I reposted for 4 weeks. Nothing.

    Finally, to make it fun, I posted on our intraweb – “I’m going to host an auction with proceeds going to the employee fun fund, and whoever wins gets to throw this thing into the dumpster!” I thought people would think it was fun. Instead, I was met with blind rage. THOSE FLOWERS ARE AN INSTITUTION! Didn’t I know they had been here for 15 years? How dare I suggest throwing out a piece of our history! Never mind that they had been out of the lobby for 2 years and no one had noticed – oh no, this was anarchy. Why hadn’t I checked hospitals and churches? Why hadn’t I brought them to a homeless shelter? Why hadn’t I tried to clean them and make them into boutonnieres for the staff to wear at the gala? It was hilarious. I suggested to some of these people that perhaps they find a home for the flowers, but no no, this was MY job. And I wasn’t doing it right. Yet every day they sat in the hallway, people stopped into my office to ask, “why are the flowers still here?” “why haven’t you found a home for the flowers?”

    I will never tell anyone what happened to those flowers, but I eventually refused to speak with anyone about them anymore. They disappeared from the hallway, and I posted on our intraweb “the flowers have found a home.” and did not reply to any follow-up comments.

      1. Bilbiovore*

        where I work the answer to “where did the legacy flower arrangement go?” ” We moved it to a better place”

  250. Former Computer Professional*

    Would you like a reverse one?

    A long time ago I worked for a software group, and part of my job was making sure our software would run properly, due to a variety of technical issues few people here will care about ;-).

    I would use one specific computer set up just to test things, which I shared with the programmers. That meant that nothing could change on the computer without my knowledge — and approval. I made a rule that the programmers not only had to inform me of any change they wanted to make, but they had to justify it. I would grill them about whether it was really necessary, and sometimes we’d get into an argument. The programmers would often complain to our boss, who would back me up.

    One day I had a serious health scare, and as a result of it wound up taking some anti-anxiety meds for a while. A few days later, while on these meds, one of the programmers who would regularly argue with me came to my office and said, “I’m going to make [X, Y, Z] changes to the test machine, because I need it to do [A and B],” and looked like he was braced for a fight.

    I said, “Ok. Thanks for telling me.”

    The programmer looked at me strangely and said, “Did you hear what I said?”

    I repeated back to him what he’d told me and again thanked him for the information.

    He said, “Are you on some kind of drugs today?” and I told him that, yes, I was on some meds due to health issues.

    He then said, “Would you please take them for the rest of my life?”

    That was over 20 years ago and I still laugh my head off when I think of it. A few years ago I ran into the programmer and reminded him of that story, and couldn’t stop laughing while telling it. He apologized for being a jerk all those other times, but in the end it was worth it for such an enjoyable memory.

  251. Birthday*

    I worked at a small office with about 10 employees. To be nice, the manager organised a surprise cake and treats for each of our birthdays. One day, she did the same for my co-worker. My co-worker was very uncomfortable during the song, and then went straight to speak with Grand Boss, even crying when she told GB what happened. She was upset that we were doing a belated celebration (late by a few days). It wasn’t because she thought we forgot her birthday. Apparently she held a superstition that celebrating your birthday late was bad luck. She was angry at the rest of us for that. I think my manager apologised to smooth things over. Co-worker refused to eat any of the food, especially the cake.

  252. Lunchables*

    Coworker (that we had a variety of problems with) started crying at her desk after being told that she was assigned to attend a lunchtime food-tasting event. She was upset because she doesn’t eat lunch and felt we were forcing her. Eventually, we decided it would be easier to just send someone else for lunch events.

    She was a full-time writer at our food magazine. I don’t know what she expected.

    1. Paula, with Two Kids*

      This made me genuinely laugh! I’m thinking HR needs to ask one extra question during the interview process. “Do you eat lunch?”

    2. Reader*

      Perhaps this was a religious fasting holiday for her (and no one else realized it, which made her feel more alienated)?

      1. Lunchables*

        Oh no, it was not. She never ate lunch on any day, ever. Which would be an obvious problem for a food writer, but she got hired because of connections.

  253. EvilQueenRegina*

    When I worked at The Real Office, one time my coworker Arya was placing a stationery order, there was some problem at the supplier’s end and the order was going to have to come through in two separate batches, one coming the day after the other, and the handwash was going to be in the second batch. Arya explained about the delay to everyone, but one guy, Joffrey, did not like this and sent an email to the entire team about how “we appear to have run out of handwash” and really ranting about what we could do about it, can’t remember much of the wording as this was around 2010, but ending with “ok, I know we could all bring our own in”.

    Arya saw the email the next day and went ballistic, replying to the entire team with something like “Joffrey, I’m really disappointed that you felt the need to email the team about this, I did explain to everyone about the problem with the supplier, it is arriving today, the handwash has been diluted and I felt that there was sufficient. I apologise if the lack of handwash has inconvenienced everyone.”

    A lot more fuss than a delivery one day late warranted!

  254. lisamarie*

    Attended an all staff meeting the other day where the powers that be discussed in the same meeting a) the sudden shift from our enviably good insurance to *remarkably* less coverage/services for the same price, and b) a request to stop storing the p-card into online accounts/websites and just type it in since there’s been some “accidents”.

    Guess which one got everyone yelling?

  255. lisamarie*

    I freaked out about this in a way my co-workers thought was unreasonable, but I am still digging my heels in and it’s been several months.

    Data security is of utmost importance around here. There is an initiate to move our systems to two-factor authentication. I am a responsible data steward, I am on board with this. However, this comes with non-negotiable refusal of cell phone stipends for employees, but the two-factor authentication system they chose requires a smartphone app. This means I cannot do my job without extensive utilization of a personal resource, with no compensation for this resource. For folks without a smartphone there is currently an option to receive an automated call to your desk phone and key in a pin, but they are gradually forcing people out of this option. But this also means that someone cannot do anything work related away from their desk.

    Mind you this applies to everyone and every internal system, so even a custodian making $10/hr to be able to do simple HR things like view their paycheck, W2, or select their health insurance plan, is required to have a smart phone.

    I am livid. Well, wouldn’t you be?

    1. bunniferous*

      I feel for the custodian. But if you already have a smartphone I fail to see the issue. And I say that as someone who uses her smartphone for work all the time. To me it is like being able to use my personal computer at home for work.

      1. Observer*

        The issue is that data costs money. Most “unlimited” data plans are expensive, and tend to throttle you pretty badly over a certain amount.

          1. Aunt Margie at Work*

            My multi billion dollar, international company does not have wi-fi in the office. Now I’m annoyed. I never realized it’s a thing offices have.

          2. Observer*

            Plenty of offices don’t have wifi. And, many that do won’t necessarily allow un-managed phones on the network.

    2. nnn*

      Ugh, that’s awful!

      Given the cost of smart phones and data plans, I wonder if this would in practical terms put the lower income earners below minimum wage?

  256. only acting normal*

    In my office we don’t really do celebrations – at most we do a card and collection when people leave/retire, and you bring in cakes for your team-mates (~10 people max) on your birthday if you’re in office that day. Very low-key.
    However, one of my colleagues got really annoyed that she “had” to arrange a card and flowers when a guy on our team became a father for the second time (there had been no team babies for 10+ years before that, and the dad was on a different team when his first child was born). This was *completely* self-imposed by her, and totally not expected by the rest of the team, the boss, or the new dad. She repeatedly tried to get me to share her outrage but I was just really puzzled.

  257. RVB_tk*

    Oh, this is golden.

    I had a couple coworkers pitch a huge fit when my employer updated the dress code. What did they change?

    No pajamas.

    Not even kidding. This was at a call center and the dress code was VERY relaxed, but we had people literally coming to work in their pjs or similar nightclothes. The best part was some of the worst offenders went on to harangue management over it, since “it was never a problem before” and “we’re not face to face with customers so why does it matter”. People would show up in defiance in pjs and argue when they were told to go home and change, and the suggestion box got spammed with ‘let us wear pjs’ for weeks. It was honestly shocking to me – the dress code was already so casual that I personally would routinely wear shorts and a plain tee any given day when the weather was warm and was never written up, but pajamas? Seriously. Eventually they stopped wearing pjs Monday through Friday, but would still come in on the weekends like they rolled out of bed and drove to work.

    It took several months, and a lot of write-ups, before it finally stopped completely. Granted, this was one of the more ridiculous responses to a change, but there were some similarly loud protests when they outlawed spaghetti tanks, booty shorts, and flip flops. Not even kidding.

    #callcenterlife

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      It matters because you’re working, not sleeping! Goodness.

      This is truly ridiculous and I appreciate it, RVB_tk.

  258. Consultant*

    I had a thing like this a few weeks ago when someone changed the settings in the printer again.

    Let me explain. I’m paid for 40 h a week (and paid very poorly for the work I do). That’s the time I have to spend at clients’ sites. But then I’m expected to come to the office to, for example, print out my time and expenses reports. It’s 2 h way and about 2 h printing and organising. Add to that the fact that we have about 8 printers in the office and most of them at any given time aren’t working for some reason. And add to that the fact that my huge, rich international company lacks things like staplers, so to organise my expenses I have to bring my own office materials.

    So I came to the office in the morning tired after a flight from the client’s site and just wanting to print out the 40 invoices as quickly as possible and go home. First printer was not working. The second one wasn’t either. The third one was working and I spent an hour printing the thing out. Then someone came to the printer and started to change the settings for whatever reason. As a result when I wanted to continue my printing the printer wasn’t reacting anymore. I tried to change the settings back… Which was impossible. Then I started to throw expletives and almost bursted into tears.

    Of course I felt bad. But given how I hate my office the only solution for me not to behave like this is for now to avoid it all together. I agree with some commenters who wrote here that it’s about people reacting excessively because of the overall work frustration, not just a tiny problem.

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      I don’t think that’s a petty frustration, given the context. Having to spend an hour on a task like printing, and then not even being done, and then not being paid for that time…Yeesh.

      1. Consultant*

        Yes, but if someone didn’t know the context they would think I’m crazy reacting like this.

        I feel very bad about how angry and frustrated I currently am, but don’t think this will change until I find and start a new job.

  259. IT Guy*

    I worked in a unionized I.T. department (don’t ask) and management decided to make us all punch time clocks instead of simply recording our time. If you were five or ten minutes late, your pay would be docked or you had to use vacation (we couldn’t just stay late to mak up the time). People were ANGRY about this and it also had the side effect of people (myself included) calling in sick. For example, if I was running 10 minutes late, I could choose to either lose that pay or simply call in sick and get paid for the entire day. Not a touch choice.

    A couple of the time clocks were physically sabotaged. If a meeting was scheduled to go until 4 (when most people left), at exactly 4 p.m. everyone would walk out and punch the time clock even if the meeting wasn’t concluded. This happened once with the president of the company present!

    Things eventually settled down but morale went down the toilet. People were unwilling to do anything extra beyond their normal jobs.

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      I sympathize with this one too! It’s not so much clock punching vs. time recorded, but the nickel-and-diming over the pay. We’ve heard SO many cautionary tales here about micromanaging employees’ time when it isn’t necessary.

    2. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

      Dunno, I think this is pretty justifiable. Nothing kills morale like treating adults like children and micromanaging them in such a way that you imply you don’t trust them to manage their own time.

      1. Observer*

        Sorry, time clock vs recording time is NOT about micromanaging time. There are a lot of good reasons to use time clocks, not the least of which is that they generally result in fewer errors.

        The bigger issue is that policy that accompanied it – not letting people like IT just make up the time is just stupid. It accomplishes nothing, and the morale hit is justifiably huge.

        1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

          Nope, even the good reasons are good only considered independently of the morale hit they cause. If you trust adults to do professional-level work on the basis of their own skill and knowledge, you trust them to report their time honestly. Unless you’re dealing with unreliable teenagers or run a factory where shift times need to be very tightly controlled, no number of errors is a good enough reason to flush morale down the toilet – as is almost guaranteed to happen with salaried professionals, and as happened here. It’s a patronizing, demeaning system that tells employees “we’re going to treat you like factory workers and track you down to the minute, because we don’t trust you enough to give you even the slightest flexibility.” And so we see people marching out of meetings at 4pm on the dot to clock out.

          The not making up time and docking pay for 10 minutes late is a consequence of the time clocks and the attitude among management that they cause.

          We use a web-based time tracking system where everyone just self-reports hours worked per day to the nearest 15 minutes, have very few errors, and produce records sufficient to stand up to government audit. And when life happens and traffic stacks up or a meeting runs long, both employer and employees grant each other a measure of flexibility.

          The other issue, not letting people make up time or building in flexibility, is a consequence of adopting the time clocks.

          1. Observer*

            The not making up time and docking pay for 10 minutes late is a consequence of the time clocks and the attitude among management that they cause.

            You have it backwards – the attitude was not caused by the time clocks.

            And adults with a professional attitude shouldn’t get all bent out of shape from using timeclocks.

            1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

              Your attitude is condescending, both to me and regarding the issue, and speaks volumes about the mindset of those who embrace them. Let me guess, you led the charge on timeclocks once upon a time?

              Adults with a professional attitude don’t need timeclocks, so the point is moot.

              1. Observer*

                That question says more about you than about me.

                No, I’ve never been in charge of the time clocks. And, I DO actually have to use a time clock, even though I’m exempt. I saw who kicked up a fuss when the time clocks went in, and it was NOT the people with professional attitudes. Some of them did have legitimate questions – which were answered. But, since policies were not changing, it didn’t make much of a difference for staff, except for the people who actually had to process time sheets, and the people responsible for audits. THEY benefited hugely.

    3. only acting normal*

      I had a time-clocked job in a data-entry-centre once where the manager called me to her desk for a 10 minute lecture because I clocked in 30 seconds late after lunch one day (literally 30 s, she told me how late I was), conveniently ignoring the fact that I clocked in 15min early *every* morning (because public transport), and I was her most productive employee by about 20%.
      Suffice to say, I never did one iota of work during that 15min ever ever again, and dialled back my work rate to hit my bonus generating targets exactly and no more.
      Show me good will, or I will remove every last trace of it from my work for you: I’m ****ing ruthless like that. (I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.)

      1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

        Yep. Time clocks where they’re not necessary just burns that goodwill. If you track my time down to the second, you get exactly what I’ve agreed to give you and not a bit more.

        1. Observer*

          Like no one has ever pulled that kind of garbage before time clocks, and all managers with time clocks so this.

          Manager was a jerk. The time clock didn’t make her a jerk.

          1. The Not Mad But Occasionally Irritable Scientist*

            You can stamp your little feet and tell me I’m wrong all you want, but in this very story, issues followed the implementation of time clocks, they didn’t precede them. The proof is in the pudding, and it doesn’t really favor your interpretation.

            1. Observer*

              No – it’s pretty clear that the boss was a jerk. No one turns into a jerk of that magnitude just because a time clock got installed. Blaming the time clock is like blaming a car because some guy got into the car drunk and crashed.

      2. The Rat-Catcher*

        Sounds like a natural consequence for your employer! :)
        The Golden Rule might be said to be for children, but dang it if I haven’t seen it play out in truth over and over again in every aspect of life.

  260. Elenia*

    Here’s mine.
    We once had a coworker who really struggled at her job. Now our job is fundraising so it’s not *difficult* but it can be stressful if you don’t have a tough skin. But it wasn’t even the “no’s” that bothered her, it was basic excel documents, stuff like that. She’d work all day every day and then on the weekends and this is most a 40 hour job, sometimes 45 hours (a couple of weeks a year).
    So it became clear we had to let her go. One morning my boss called her in and gave her the notice. This poor woman returned to her office, sobbing and crying.
    At the time we worked in what we called a “fishbowl” – all of the internal office walls were glass so you couldn’t hide. She proceeded to spend the next two hours, sobbing and crying, and making phone calls, and s-l-o-w-l-y packing up her desk. Three times my boss went in there and had the awkward conversation that she needed to step it up, that she was making everyone uncomfortable.
    Which she was. it was a full-on snotfest, face red, eyes red, sobbing loudly. Did I mention this was a 50 YO woman? In retrospect I can only think she was having complications with menopause but it was extremely awkward….

  261. Elenia*

    I thought of one more that is probably more in line with Allison’s rules.

    Used to work at a flooring wholesaler and there was a gentleman there who was a drama queen on his best day.

    We were customer service and used to sit in cubicles on the main floor. One day he threw the door open to his office so hard it bounced off the opposite wall and shouted ” WHO TRANSFERRED ME MURPHY’S OVERHEAD DOORS?”

    Everyone looked at each other, confused.

    Again, he shouted. ” WHO TRANSFERRED ME MURPHY’S OVERHEAD DOORS?”

    Again, blank looks on everyone.

    “DON’T YOU EVER TRANSFER MURPHY’S OVERHEAD DOORS TO ME AGAIN!”

    And slammed his door shut.

    1. Marthooh*

      This was funny. Your previous post, not so much. Maybe that’s just the menopause speaking, though.

  262. Sabrina Spellman*

    I don’t know if this counts, but it’s all I have.

    I currently have a co-worker who is older and her position is meant to be the first stop when anyone comes into the office. She had managed to tuck herself back in a corner, so no one knew she was there. It kept her off the frontline. When OldBoss left, current boss brought her forward so she could address people when they came in. This made her insanely moody and people who worked outside my department voiced their complaints about it. Then CurrentBoss decided to move her completely out front, to sit with our interns, and boy was that interesting. She tried to ask if she could instead trade jobs with our temp because she had a private office, but she was only part-time.

  263. Acid Queen*

    At my office, we are given digital data that has to be translated into maps, tables, images, etc. One annual meeting, it was suggested to the managers to list and categorize things in numerical order. Before we were getting random number/letter lists that made NO sense and were messing up formulas. Like literally we said, “please list this as A1, A2, A3….” you would have thought we told them to murder a bag of kittens. They were OUT. RAGED. Screaming matches of, “I’ve been doing it X way for 15 years, why do we have to change?!!!,!?”

    Same events, the bosses would provide pizza for 50+ people with varying diet requirements…someone threw a fit that the cheese pizza was a white pizza (there were other no-meat options with red sauce).

  264. AlterKate*

    Not so much a Hulk tantrum, but more of a silent (albeit strange) protest. I used to work at a local government office and our Big Boss was pretty strict about dress code. Other offices got to have casual Fridays, but we were to be business professional at all times, hose with skirts. We did serve the public, but only as clerks, not professionals or anything. One of the older staff was fed up and decided she would protest by wearing the exact same dress, every day, for a month. It was clean, she was showered and didn’t smell, but she came in wearing the same dress every day. I’m not sure what she thought this would accomplish, but she was satisfied with herself and made sure to tell everyone exactly what she was doing.

  265. Former Admin turned Project Manager*

    I used to work as the admin to a VP in our organization, and the assistant to one of our chiefs (not the chief to whom my boss reported, but one with whom he frequently had meetings) did not like using an electronic calendar. Even after a company-wide email requiring that every keep their calendars updated and properly coded (e.g., marking out of office when a meeting was offsite, creating an appointment to block for travel time, etc.), she insisted that her paper version of the chief’s calendar was the only one that mattered. I sent a meeting invitation after using the busy search function on the email calendar, but did not have time to call her to verify that her boss was really free (not to mention that I refused to participate in her ridiculous game on general principles). She replied to the invitation with a message that said “FormerAdmin, BigBoss cannot attend this meeting because he will be offsite to meet with ImportantStakeholder. Please call me to reschedule. Signed, BossAdmin” [she actually signed it with “Signed,” as her closing). I was in an all day training and checking my email during a break, so I simply replied with a request to update the online calendar so that I could do the busy search as directed by our company policy. I hadn’t noticed that she’d sent the meeting decline message from her boss’ account, thus making me reply to her boss instead of her. She intercepted the message before he saw it, but also filed an HR complaint about me due to “…extreme insubordination and an attempt to disparage [her] character to [my] superiors.” Note that this alleged “insubordination” was me acting on common sense, following a process as described by her boss and others at this level, and that neither she nor her boss were actually in the same chain of command to me and my boss.

    1. The Rat-Catcher*

      The term “insubordination” outside the military always makes me cringe a little. But in this context, it’s effing insane.

      1. Former Admin turned Project Manager*

        HR told BossAdmin that they would have my supervisor speak to me about the incident, and he did speak to me. He spoke to me in an encouraging and supportive manner, and praised me for being professional and working in an efficient way to get meetings scheduled. BossAdmin retired a few years later, and the day she left, her replacement took great pleasure in throwing the paper calendar into the recycle bin.

  266. Patches*

    We moved from a cruddy, dingy office location to a new, purpose built office with loads of natural light, gorgeous bathrooms, shower facilities, free gym and every other perk you could think of that would make a pleasant working environment. One guy started complaining that the new office management wouldn’t let us have Christmas decorations.

  267. Thankfully Formerly IT*

    I used to work IT for a large hospital system back in the 90s. Hotmail was a big thing. One of the first browser-based email services. And certain hospital staff (cough *doctors* cough) loved it. And brought a ton of virus problems into the hospital network, putting patient confidentiality at risk.
    We had two legitimate hospital-wide email systems. There was the text-only, hospital-wide-only Meditech system, and an Exchange server that gave people external email (like, off-site), so no one had any need to use their personal Hotmail account at work. Senior Management decided to ban all browser-based email services and my boss put the ban in place without telling me, the person who did all the repairs. About an hour after he blocked Hotmail, I got a call from the head of the Psychiatric Services department. The way she described her problem, it sounded like she was having a problem with the Exchange system, so I went to her office.
    This department head and I had always got along fairly well.. I didn’t know her well, but never had any problems with her.
    When I got there, I found out that she meant Hotmail. I didn’t know it had been blocked, and the 404 error led me to call my boss to ask him if we were having trouble with our internet service. He informed me that Hotmail had been blocked. I informed the Psych Services department head.

    Who went absolutely apeshit and threw a huge, heavy glass paperweight at my head.

    She faced zero consequences for that, despite the Zero Tolerance policy posters stuck up all over the hospital’s walls. That was one of the incidents that led me to burn out (the second was a physical assault by a coworker in my own department, and the last was a sexual harassment complaint against a contractor that went nowhere). I left about a year after the Psych Services director pegged a paperweight at my head.

  268. realjillyj*

    I work in a high end retail store that’s known for its customer service and virtually nonexistent return policy. Employees have always had a stricter return policy than customers, we’ve always had to get permission from the store manager to return items that were damaged or worn, but it got stricter last month. In an attempt to cut down on fraud and improve inventory accuracy (you wouldn’t believe how many items are returned as the wrong size or color or different item altogether) a policy was implemented stating that all employee returns had to be processed by a manager. Sort of a pain, but no big deal, right? Wrong. Someone I work with has been at my store since it opened, 20+ years ago, and took this change as a personal attack. She started ranting to every employee who would listen, or who made the mistake of not just walking away when she mentioned the change, declaring that she would no longer buy anything from the store because clearly they didn’t trust her and she wasn’t a thief and it wasn’t like this when she started. Even after several explanations of the business reasons behind the policy, she’s still angry and talks about it frequently.

  269. JanetM*

    Once upon a time, the small aerospace company where my Dad and his best friend worked was purchased by a larger aerospace/avionics firm. Shortly thereafter, an edict came down from the new corporate headquarters that effective immediately, no personal items whatsoever were allowed in cubicles, with the exception of reference materials and work tools.

    Dad’s friend quietly packed up all his personal items, including reference materials and work tools. He took the box out to his car, walked over to the HR office in the next building, and retired. Effective immediately.

  270. NotSpeculatingOnWhatPplDidWithoutTheSoap*

    I worked at an office where ALL supplies were kept in the same locked closet – everything from the projectors and extra laptops (reasonable), to…. the bathroom soap and toilet paper. If you needed anything, you had to go get the key from the 1 person in finance authorized to dispense those supplies. Result being, bathroom was often out of soap and toilet paper.

    I’m came in in a mid-level management position, spent a couple months stocking extra tp and soap in my desk, and finally when to finance to ask that the TP and soap be kept unlocked, where the cleaning staff could access them before the key-owner came in. Nope, they’re worried people will use “excessively” if they see how much we really have. OK, how about just a small unlocked stash – just enough for replacements each day?

    I’m not authorized to approve that, you’ll have to check with HeadOfFinance.

    Hey HeadOfFinance, do you mind if we keep /a/ role of toilet paper and an extra bar of soap unlocked?

    I’m not really in charge of that; you’ll have to check with HeadOfHR.

    Hey HeadOfHR, do you mind if we keep /a/ role of toilet paper and an extra bar of soap unlocked?

    I’m not really in charge of that; you’ll have to check with…

    In the end, I got 5 office leaders to agree they had no personal objection (but didn’t want to take the risk of approving it!); and a confirmation that know one knew of any actual policy that directed the tp and soap to be locked down – when someone finally told me they would do it “only if you’re sure it’s ok with international-CEO” (who’s never in our office and has never asked about our tp storage!); I said “Look, I refuse to take up our CEO’s time on this. I’m putting out an extra roll of tp and some soap. If it causes a problem, it’s 100% my fault – I’ll take the blame”).

    What do you know, I got my soap, and there was never a problem.

    But yes, this was a non-profit.

  271. Cam*

    My work has a subsidized lunch room with delicious food. One of the perks is the free fruit basket (bananas, apples, oranges). Well, people were abusing the system and bringing shopping bags in to fill with fruit, so they started charging 50 cents per fruit (which, admittedly, is more expensive than just getting the fruit from the store).

    Everyone got upset! Complaints, emails, threats to quit! The director had a town hall meeting to explain about the fruit. Every new employee is informed about the fruit saga.

  272. The ReFa*

    I’m, a software engineer. At my previous job we used a specific framework in several different projects. Everyone was using the most recent version X of the framework except for senior developer Adam who insisted on using an extremely old version Y (the projects were relatively independent so this was possible). I once suggested to Adam that an upgrade would be a good idea. After 30 minutes of lecture on how must I’m wrong he told me to mind my own business. Everybody in the office had learned to step around Adam as much as possible. However, the old version was causing more and more trouble and it was finally decided to force Adam to upgrade ‘his’ code.

    The update itself was pure drama (though the actual technical change was done in a few hours). At first Adam tried to prevent the change, e.g., by writing a three page memo to the CEO detailing why Y is so much better than X. When that did not work he tried to impeded the process as much as he could. If he encountered the slightest problem he would revert ‘his’ code back to version Y and just move on without telling anybody. We literally hat to sit someone next to him to stop him from doing any stupid stuff. It was like
    Me: Ehm, Adam what are you doing
    Adam: Nothing
    Me: you just reverted the code back to the state from two month ago. Why?
    Adam: Because I need to do A and version X cannot do that.
    Me: Yes it can, let me show you.
    [10-30 Minutes of discussion]
    Adam: In version Y, I would have done that in 5 Minutes.
    (in version X it would have been one minute)
    It was annoying to have the same discussions with him over and over again. Finally, we implemented safeguards to prevent him form using version Y.

    But the actual problems started later.
    * Whenever something went wrong, Adam would blame it on the new versions.
    * Whenever there was a problem in a Project: version X
    * A deadline was missed: version X what else.
    In addition to that, he started to lobby for a downgrade to version Y. Once he almost convinced the head of sales. Another time he spend the whole Christmas party trying to convince various board members. He would also refuse tasks based on ‘this cannot be done with X’ (yes it could).
    This went on for several month until he was finally let go.

    On the upside, once Adam was gone, we could finally implement better procedures for the development process.

  274. saffytaffy*

    I once made personalized ‘Friends’ Day’ (valentine’s day) cards for all the teachers and staff at the school where I worked, and two teachers complained to Fearless Leader that their cards didn’t have as much glitter on their as “some of the other teachers’ cards.”

    To be clear, there was glitter. There was also a heartfelt message of appreciation. But there was not AS MUCH GLITTER as there could have been.

  275. jenny*

    People quitting because you now have to keep your dog at work on a leash and out of the kitchen/meetings/the bathrooms

  276. I Tell These Stories to Everyone*

    I’m really late to the party but I wanted to share mine.

    At my last job, a guy had a breakdown over new automated reminders to fill in our timesheets, and decided I, a manager in another department, was the right sounding board for his rage. He had written up his resignation letter and brought it into my office to wave around, while pounding his chest and yelling about the lack of respect he got there. Because of *automated* reminder messages. He marched from my office down the hall to his boss’s, who told him to sleep on the resignation and bring it back the next day if he still wanted to quit. He didn’t.

    I told this story to a woman at my next job, who shrugged and said it sounded reasonable to her. She proceeded to quit a couple months later because of an office move before ever seeing the new space. She said the new open floor plan was disrespectful and symbolic of all the things wrong with the organization. There were tears and slammed doors and lots of yelling when she gave her notice. On her planned second-to-last day, she un-quit.

  277. Bart*

    This thread would be 1/100th the size if the challenge was “Name a time when change in your workplace was handled well and age-appropriately.”

    And seriously, how is there not a thermostat story in here anywhere? I work for a multi-billion dollar company that has expanded rapidly over the years and absorbed additional office space at my location multiple times. So the building is chopped up, and there are thermostats around every corner. The one that controls my office is in the vacant office next door, and this same thermostat controls only one other area, which is on the other side of the vacant office and currently occupied by one co-worker–an admin-level employee who is literally counting her days until retirement.

    I noticed one day recently it was extremely warm in my office, and upon inspection realized the thermostat had not been transitioned from “Heat Mode” to “AC Mode.” And the 80 degrees outside had translated to 82 degrees in my office, so I walked over and quickly flipped the thermostat into “AC Mode.” I don’t know how she did it, but the co-worker located in the other office somehow beat me back to my office (I am convinced there is a secret passageway) and immediately berate me about the change. After allowing her to (quite aggressively) list her multitude of reasons why she needed to maintain an 80 degree temperature and why I was an inconsiderate jerk, I simply told her it was approaching Summer, and I didn’t think keeping our offices at 80+ degrees was going to work for me. Instead of discussing it further, she demanded a meeting with the Building Manager (which she was granted) and ended up winning her case.

    To this day, the thermostat is still on “Heat Mode” and I’m still melting in my office. Oh, and I should also mention I am a Corporate Vice President. Not that it matters in the outcome, but I think it does add to the story just a little, don’t you?

  278. Not Delilah*

    Super late to this party, but this is extremely relevant to my work life right now! I wrote a while back about a situation in an academic department where a faculty member flipped out because I didn’t answer her last-minute request in the obsequious fashion my predecessor “Delilah” would have. This faculty member is BACK with a VENGEANCE.

    Delilah used to email the department to tell them that end-of-semester grades were due a day earlier than they actually were. The idea was that it would reduce the number of faculty who waited until the last minute to turn in their grades. Delilah would get really worked up about people turning grades in on time, despite the fact that it wasn’t her responsibility and if someone didn’t get grades in on time it was their own job to fix it (there was an established procedure that was annoying enough to have a somewhat punitive purpose). I decided quietly to eliminate this practice because it didn’t actually keep people from turning things in at the last minute or late, and the people who habitually turned grades in late KNEW that Delilah’s deadline was fake, anyway (since the uni sends an email out telling people when the actual deadline is).

    So the day before grades were due, I emailed the department with a heads up. I got an email back from the faculty member in question, who had a “suggestion” for future semesters about a “policy of Delilah’s”… yadda yadda. I wrote back to thank her for the suggestion, that I had considered doing this but I’d decided not to for various reasons, but if she wanted to talk about it we could do that.

    She wrote back, very frosty, saying the policy had worked for HER and that yes, she DID want to discuss it further. I of course took this straight to my chair, who was on the same page as me, and said he’d deal with it. He ended up slightly modifying the email I sent him outlining my reasons for eliminating the policy and he sent it to the faculty member as though he’d written it.

    The next day she stormed into my chair’s office, shut the door, and began complaining about me. I put on my headphones so as to avoid hearing all the details, but later that afternoon I got an email from her titled “Why I’m angry” which was… a lengthy rant chastising me for having the gall to “abolish” an “academic” and “departmental policy” and to critique the tone of my email. Apparently she thought I was getting too big for my boots in suggesting that I, “a staff member,” would condescend to “discuss it” with her, “a faculty member and associate chair.” (But the thing is that she ISN’T associate chair; university policy blocks her from being AC, and the “honorary AC” status granted to her by the department had been revoked because of an email she’d sent calling them all a NSFW epithet.)

    I didn’t respond. A friend and loyal reader of AAM said “treat it like an embarrassing indiscretion that you’re gracious enough to ignore.” I did forward it to my chair and he let me rant about it until I got it out of my system, though.

    Amusingly enough, toward the end of her email, this faculty member informed me that “after correspondence with the chair” she saw there were some good reasons for eliminating the policy after all. She still doesn’t know a big chunk of that correspondence was ghost-written by me!

  279. Courtney*

    When I was still working in retail, my store was having a sudden problem with people’s food being stolen from the fridge. We figured it was probably one of our new seasonal hires, clarified the rules, tried to crack down on it, etc. Got worse – and really, when you work retail, it’s the holiday season, you get a half hour lunch, and there are no nearby places to grab food, your lunch disappearing is a big problem. Our head of loss prevention was basically on a witch hunt to find the person. Set up cameras and everything, but insisted they showed nothing, that the thief must be messing with the cameras, we needed to take this more seriously, etc.

    The store manager eventually set up his own camera without telling anyone. Turns out the loss prevention boss was the one taking everyone’s dude. He was promptly fired. I have no idea why he did it – doubt food scarcity was a problem since he seemed to have plenty of money at work to buy video games and such.

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