Ask a Manager in the media by Alison Green on September 3, 2018 Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently: I’m on the Lifehacker podcast today, talking about bad bosses, setting boundaries at work, how to know if you’re the bad boss, and more. (My segment is 11:40-28:00, and then again 38:35-40:35.) I was on the CBS This Morning podcast, talking about dating at work, what to do when you’re making less than a coworker, accidentally hitting reply-all, and much more. I talked to PopSugar about acne when you’re job hunting. I’m in this Business Insider piece about awkward silences in salary negotiation. I answered questions for the Penny Hoarder about talking to someone about bad hygiene, dealing with overly personal questions, asking for a mental health day, and more. { 8 comments }
Free Meerkats* September 3, 2018 at 1:22 pm Silence works well in interviews, too. Answer the question, then shut up. If the interviewer wants more, they’ll ask.
Daphne* September 3, 2018 at 1:58 pm Had a quick scan of the Penny Hoarder article and liked the script for asking for a mental health day – I’ve always wondered how best to word it. I was depressed (probably still am) towards the end of last year, to the point where coworkers noticed a change, and really should have taken time off to get my head straight. Unfortunately I’m in a retail/grocery job where on return to work we have to fill out a form detailing why we were off (think it’s to cover my employer from placing workers in food prep areas if still chance of being contagious etc) and I really didn’t want to divulge details of my mental health to management. I guess I could have gone with something along the lines of nausea, which isn’t a total lie, heh
Kathlynn* September 3, 2018 at 2:53 pm My biggest tip for new managers: learn the laws. And don’t break them. And if you can, set your boundaries as far from the line as possible. (as in, make sure you are doing overtime/stats/PTO correctly. Pay your employees what you can, not as little as you can.) And don’t flip if you have an employee tell you something is against the law. And I second the tone matters. But then so does the phrase. Like, my manager will wait until she’s mad to correct me one things, and her phrasing will make me feel like I’m the only one who she’s mad at. When it’s me, my coworker, and the shift before me. Or, in a recent case, I thought she had forgotten I was on light duty and couldn’t lift some really heavy items. She was just mad that the previous shift hadn’t moved them, and that I hadn’t gotten my coworker to do so. (I didn’t do so, because she’s not as strong as me, I didn’t know if she knew how, and a lot of other things to do.)
Close Bracket* September 3, 2018 at 3:32 pm Just how long do you let that awkward silence stretch out? I knew someone in sales who said she had sat in silence for as long as half an hour after asking for a sale. That would make for a reeeeeally awkward interview situation. :) But it does stretch into something measured in minutes rather than seconds. Do you break it? What do you say?
Emily K* September 3, 2018 at 4:11 pm Social convention would say that if you were the last one to speak, the other person should speak next, either to respond with an answer or acknowledgment, or ask for clarification if they can’t respond. If you’re in a situation with someone who doesn’t just pause to see if you have more to say but completely fails to respond back for several minutes after you’ve said something, you’re dealing with someone who’s making a weird and very agressive power play, not a normal interview scenario.
Ask a Manager* Post authorSeptember 3, 2018 at 4:23 pm Yeah, that would be quite odd. If it goes on for a ridiculous period of time, it would be fine to say, “Does that work for you?” or “Should I give you a moment?” or some other inquiry to ensure they have not expired in front of you.
gsa* September 3, 2018 at 9:30 pm Penny Hoarder question #3 is ripe for innuendo and inappropriate answers to counter the inappropriate question. It could also be a Mad Libs… :D I don’t date (plural noun) anymore because I find them to be quite (adjective). I have dated so many (plural noun) my (body part) is so sore and (adjective) I had to get it test by a (licensed professional). In the mean time, while my (body part) was convalescing on (noun), I determined I would rather date (plural noun). (Request) (verb) me if any of this is with in you (verb).
Anonymous Ampersand* September 4, 2018 at 3:34 pm Someone shared your BBC article about team building on our work intranet Alison :)