will I ever find a job I like? by Alison Green on December 12, 2018 A reader writes: I wrote a rambling letter to your blog a while ago when I was incredibly stressed out and floundering at my new job. I managed to work myself out of that immediate deep hole, but I’m still struggling with being happy at work. While I feel like the malfunctions I’m dealing with at my current job are reason enough to leave, there’s a part of me that wonders: will I ever like any job I hold? I spent my 20s either hating my office-like jobs or pursuing a more creative career, only to realize I didn’t like it and I wasn’t really that good at. I told myself then that I should stick with what I’m good at, which are more technical roles but with process improvement and project management angles sprinkled in there, and that I need to figure out how to balance the good and bad with work. At 30, I started a decent job as a project coordinator and quickly got a promotion, but the company laid off workers earlier this year due to losing a major client so I decided to look elsewhere, not to mention that the culture there was pretty negative all the time. I thought the job I started in April would be better, but my manager is terrible and the leadership of my team and department is very poor. Not to mention I’m drowning in work and can’t stop stressing about it all the time. I have a tendency to care too much about work and second guess myself. It’s also really difficult for me to just ignore things that can be improved at work, which I think drains me. I’m having trouble looking for a new job again because I’m terrified I’m putting all this effort in to just hate my job again. I started working with a career coach just to figure out what I want to do with my career, but I’m still concerned that I’m just not going to like any job that I go to. So my question is: how can I like my job when there’s always going to be things I don’t like about it? How can I leave work at work and not stress about it all the time? I answer this question — and four others — on the Ask a Manager podcast today. Other questions I’m answering there today include: How to answer when new coworkers ask how I like the job Asking for a raise when you job changes soon after you start We’re being asked to report on the doctors we work with A coworker is calling me “mom” — and other inappropriate coworker reactions to my pregnancy The show is 32 minutes long, and you can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, the iHeartRadio app, or wherever else you get your podcasts (or here’s the direct RSS feed). Or you can listen above. Or, if you prefer, here’s the transcript. Read updates to the first letter here and here. You may also like:my job search after grad school has been soul-crushingmy boss's stress is out of controlhere is your happy ending for the week { 49 comments }
Captain Radish* December 12, 2018 at 12:39 pm That’s a tough situation and one that probably has no good answer, honestly. I’ve gotten lucky enough to be in an industry I very much enjoy (fire alarm), but it’s not always sunshine and roses. You’re ultimately going to have to learn that the job fundamentally shouldn’t be what you center your life around. It’s going to be important, but you need to be able to disconnect yourself from it if/when it’s not going well or your going to become an anxious wreck.
Captain Radish* December 12, 2018 at 12:41 pm I wish I could edit: Something that later came to me is I am also quite concerned with my job and care quite a bit about how I do it. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but, again, you must remember not to let it consume you.
JulieCanCan* December 13, 2018 at 3:14 am I totally sympathize OP – it’s hard to really know if it’s you or the job when you’re not thrilled with a position or company. To make matters more confusing, it’s even tougher when you see others around you who appear satisfied in similar roles. For what it’s worth, I spent all of my 20’s obsessing about what I wanted to do with my life, and eventually found the right industry, so that was a big relief; I actually had one of those “sun shining down on me through the clouds while angels sang” when I realized “I’ve found it! THIS is where I’m supposed to be!” I remember that moment like it was yesterday. The position wasn’t one that was possible to remain in long-term (atrociously low pay, long hours, intense stress to the point where one of my peers developed shingles at the age of 24 because of how intense and crazy it was) BUT at least I knew the general industry I found interesting, intriguing and even fun/exciting. But it took a while to get there, believe me. Even now, knowing what I’m kind of good at and skilled in, I have those moments of “what if?” and I wonder if I should have gotten a different college degree or gone for a masters in something, just to have more specialized knowledge and security. But I try to remember that everyone goes through those feelings and stages, and I really do believe MOST people work to support themselves and aren’t necessary in their dream field or job, because as Alison always says, there is no such thing as a “dream job” AND I think once people get into jobs they think are dream jobs, they realize that’s not a thing. I don’t know what I’m trying to say here except I’ve been there and I think a lot of other people have gone through similar stages and feelings over the course of their careers. When you’re going through it, it feels like you’re the only person who has this problem, but I promise you it’s very normal and you shouldn’t feel like you’re alone in your struggle. Good luck, and keep your chin up. It gets better. Sometimes getting better means accepting that your job will not be ideal and will stress you out BUT it’s a good job in other ways. It kind of depends on where you’re willing to be flexible and if you can mentally accept certain things will never be ideal. I know, easier said than done, right? I hope you find what makes you happy.
JulieCanCan* December 13, 2018 at 3:17 am I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to respond to someone else’s comment, I thought I was adding a completely new comment. Either way, I hope the OP finds the right role/industry/company and feels satisfied, wherever they end up!
Detective Amy Santiago* December 12, 2018 at 12:44 pm To the first question-asker – I am in my early 40s and have only just found my holy grail of jobs. It took me a long time and a lot of trial & error to figure out what I was both good at and enjoyed doing. Just because you are good at something doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy doing it. I was great at customer service, but it was hell on my mental health. Make a list of the things you’re good at and enjoy doing. That is the basis for your job search. Good luck!
The Other Dawn* December 12, 2018 at 12:51 pm This is exactly what I did when it was announced a few months ago that my company was acquired. I made a list of the things I love to do, can deal with, and absolutely hate or don’t want to do. I also did the same in terms of company culture, benefits, etc. Once I did that, it totally made sense why I’ve struggled with certain things and where those struggles came from.
Detective Amy Santiago* December 12, 2018 at 12:56 pm It’s incredibly eye-opening. And then you sit there and wonder ‘why did it take me so long to figure this out?’
wafflesfriendswork* December 12, 2018 at 1:15 pm I’ve realized recently that most of the things I’m good at that I’ve done in nearly every post-college job are things I really hate doing. It honestly makes me worried that I’m never going to find that holy grail of jobs because I’m worried I’ve painted myself into a corner, skills and experience-wise. You give me a little bit of hope!
Sloan Kittering* December 12, 2018 at 1:19 pm So agree. I have some kind of hang up where the things I’m arguably best at seem boring and stupid to me. The things I admire and think are most interesting are the things I don’t have abilities in. It took me a long time to realize this about myself, and even then it’s a hard mental habit to change.
Smarty Boots* December 12, 2018 at 2:04 pm I would not focus (or at least not invest a lot of emotional energy) on finding that holy grail of jobs, because if you don’t find it, you will feel dissatisfied and always looking past what you have. I don’t mean, give up looking, but try to let go of *needing* to have the perfect job. It’s kind of a version of find your passion. What do you need from your job to be satisfied and reasonably happy? What do you *value*? Do you need to have lots of money? benefits? working with teams? being a leader? helping people? solving problems? etc. How do you *rank* these work values? would you give up money / better pay in return for a short commute and time for out-of-work interests? would you give up time (by working longer hours or having a longer commute) to work in a field you care about? and so on. I decided a long time ago it was ok to make somewhat less money and not be in the field I wanted, if I had a short commute, had flexibility to take care of a sick child, had colleagues I like and respect and who like and respect me, and have responsibilities that I am skilled at and generally enjoy. Sure, I have regrets that I was not able to move into what I identified as my holy grail of jobs, but a fair amount of that was out of my control due to the scarcity of available positions and my family situation. I can retire early, and do things I want then.
Mimmy* December 12, 2018 at 5:25 pm Oh this is SO totally me!! For example, I’m a nervous wreck when I work with people but, apparently, I’m very good at it. Between that and my academic background, I too feel like I’ve backed myself into a corner.
PhyllisB* December 12, 2018 at 1:17 pm Agreed. I was a telephone operator for years and HATED IT!!! (But I did love the money.) :-) Now I do something entirely different and like it so much more even though I don’t get near the money.
The Man, Becky Lynch* December 12, 2018 at 5:10 pm I told my boss once that I know I would be a savage at auditing or forensic accounting But I’d also sink straight into hell after awhile, I’ve seen too much and heard too much, my soul would rot out Just like how my first dream was to be a teacher. Then I debated social work. Then I just accepted I love accounting and business, I’ll just save the other more emotionally draining stuff for side work and volunteer gigs.
Detective Amy Santiago* December 12, 2018 at 6:23 pm I always said I wanted a job where I could help people. I wanted to feel like I was making a difference in people’s life and having a positive impact on the world. The problem with that is that people suck tremendously and I’d bust my ass to help them and they’d do something stupid and it would stress me out. Now I do work that is behind the scenes but important and has a positive impact and I don’t have to talk to people.
The Man, Becky Lynch* December 12, 2018 at 8:07 pm I’m lucky in the sense I do find pleasure in the customer service aspect. I’m always trying to make lives easier. I don’t know what would kill me faster, humans who are given help but still can’t seem to take the advice/services and start to fix things or just the evil people in the world who do despicable things and you have to clean up the shattered souls left behind (ex. Child abusers and the tiny souls that they leave for the strained social services dept. Aeeegh.)
Jen* December 12, 2018 at 12:45 pm For me, I did hit a sweet spot of sorts where I mostly like my job now. A lot of it comes down to my supervisor. For the first time in my career I really really like my supervisor most of the time. I have finally found someone who meshes well with what I need. He provides the right level of coaching but also pulls away when I need to just do things on my own. He appreciates my honesty and we have a really good professional relationship and rapport. I respect him and I think he respects me. That has made a huge difference. Then the little things. I like my commute. I like my office space. I like the flexibility that’s offered. I mostly like my co-workers. I don’t always like my tasks but for the most part I do. The pay is OK. I wish I made more but I make a good liveable salary. There are days I want to choke people or I want to cry in my office or throw things. But for the most part, I’m happy.
Sloan Kittering* December 12, 2018 at 1:22 pm I think if you’re lucky, as you get higher up you can carve out jobs where the supervisor has less impact on your day to day. If you can develop valuable skills and demonstrate that you can do the job, you can often get a supervisor off your back to go deal with other more problem employees. At least a lackluster one won’t bother you so much (abusive is still going to be an issue at every level, of course) YMMV but I found that when I was first starting out, the supervisor is usually right over your shoulder all day and creates a lot of hassle for you if you’re not gelling.
Jen* December 12, 2018 at 1:30 pm This is true. I am in my 40s and I feel like for the first time in my career I am being given the autonomy I need to not feel suffocated and micromanaged at my job. My first professional job in this field was good for the most part (decent pay, decent work, decent location, fun co-workers) but I had a boss who wanted me to cc her on every e-mail and would then critique every single email “You sign your e-mails Best, Jen and I think that something like Sincerely, Jen would be better.” That was the reason I left there but now I am at a point where I feel like I could push back on those sorts of feedback.
The Man, Becky Lynch* December 12, 2018 at 5:41 pm Omfg having that much time on your hands to just read other people’s email and nitpick salutations…what a nightmare! A former boss, prior to my days here, was similar. I cleaned out a bunch of decades old files. So many files with that crud DOCUMENTED!!! I laugh so hard because she’d hate me. And I’ve heard she was morally bankrupt, so I’m comfortable with that. I’m still washing that vibe out of the air that lingers.
The Man, Becky Lynch* December 12, 2018 at 5:36 pm Truth. I haven’t had someone who ever “supervises” me. Even as an EA, I was running the show after I knew my duties and understood what was expected. I’ve always been treated like an advisor of sorts, constantly asked for my insight and I’ve made big decisions along the way. I start turtling when I read posts here because y’all have big structured corporate jobs where you have layers above you and fear the executives often times. I’m over here dancing in my office between tasks, decorating my door in festive nonsense, using ridiculous clip art on bland HR announcements…and the CEO giggles at my antics. You can carve out your place that fits. You just can’t give any efs and keep chugging along, doing a bangup job along the way. I’m just a high school educated, street smarts, math nerd who has an uncanny way of remembering a ton of things that turn out to be how-businesses-work and such.
JulieCanCan* December 13, 2018 at 4:06 am Yes Jen! Totally!! You took the words right out of my mouth with this comment. For me, “little” things like a short commute are HUGE. I live in Los Angeles and I am currently looking for a new job. There are a lot of opportunities in my field which is great, right? But LA is a massive place so the first thing I do before sending a cover letter and resume (or before responding to someone on Linkedin if I’m being contacted first) is find out the address of the company and if the commute is longer than 30-40 minutes (which sadly in LA could be only 5 miles away!) I won’t even consider it if the commute is bad. There are jobs that pay a LOT – I’ll get excited about the prospects and then I’ll find out it would be a 90-minute drive in the morning and probably over 2 hours to get home at night. And it’s in the SAME CITY! No thank you. I’ll happily go with the job that pays $20,000 less per year but is only a 20-minute commute. No hesitation – for me, sitting in hellacious LA traffic and stressing out as time passes yet my car doesn’t move, ugh! I’ll arrive at work angry and annoyed- NOT a good way to start the day. My (quasi)sanity and stress level are too important. I just need a job that I can support myself with, you know, pay my bills and have a bit extra to do things like eat at my favorite sushi place occasionally….money is far less important than a short commute to me. But I definitely know people who would go for the higher money and long commute – it just depends on what you’re willing to deal with.
Detective Amy Santiago* December 12, 2018 at 12:48 pm For the doctor question – I understand why you are uncomfortable being asked to report on your doctors, but there is very likely a good reason for this and I agree with Alison that it’s worth asking about once. However, it’s also possible that they cannot share that reason with you for compliance reasons. My first thought is that there is some kind of investigation into insurance fraud/medicare fraud and that is why they are asking about the hours the doctors are in the office.
Ama* December 12, 2018 at 3:57 pm If it is the type of medical practice where doctors’ salaries are based on working a certain number of clinic hours a week (or one where they can work extra clinic hours to get additional money) they also may be just double checking that people are working the hours they are claiming so they pay people the correct amount.
Qosanchia* December 12, 2018 at 5:51 pm The thing that stood out to me was that the request came off as “keep record of these things, but DON’T WRITE ANYTHING DOWN!” To which my immediate thought was, “Wait, if you can’t write it down, how the heck are you supposed to record it?”
Cats On A Bench* December 13, 2018 at 8:23 am Agreed! Plus, I would never be able to remember from one day to the next any one person’s arrival and departure times were. If this is reported weekly, I’d only be able to give that day’s time and maybe the day before. This just gets worse if there’s more than 1 doctor to keep track of too! I would for sure have to write it down or I’d just be make guesses and that wouldn’t be fair to the doctors being monitored.
John* December 13, 2018 at 9:36 am This definitely sounded to me like an insurance/Medicaid/Medicare fraud or compliance related request to me. The request for no written documentation makes this more likely, as the lack of written documentation gives the company more plausible deniability – they’re often *required* to report any Medicaid fraud or abuse they know about (can vary by state), but can deny knowing about anything they aren’t alerted to by the payer if there’s no written record. Unfortunately, this may now affect the person that asked the question as well. If the office is taking Medicaid (and possibly Medicare) clients, state law may require that they report suspected fraud or abuse. I don’t know what the regulations or policies are if it’s private insurance only.
Snow Drift* December 12, 2018 at 1:06 pm Letter #1 STRONG agree with Alison on the use of outer connections in LinkedIn to get the skinny on an employer. In my experience, many people just can’t risk total honesty on Glassdoor, but are more than happy to be candid person-to-person. It’s also easier to parse a more complex work environment when you can have a back and forth. The personal conversation can reveal: Oh, you’re in project management? If you’re working in Dave’s group you’ll be fine. He really goes to bat for his team, so even though the director Sam is a real problem, Dave will shield you from 90% of it. Don’t interview with John, though, he’s really buddy-buddy with Sam and will throw you under the bus. Glassdoor’s usual lack of nuance will read: Sam is Satan’s minion, it’s fallen angels all the way down, run for your life.
Tipcat* December 12, 2018 at 1:16 pm Q#5–How bad does it have to be before you report these people (especially Mr. Mom) to HR?
BadWolf* December 12, 2018 at 1:17 pm On OP 1 — “It’s also really difficult for me to just ignore things that can be improved at work, which I think drains me.” This will be a thing at all jobs. Things to consider to help you “ignore” them. –The amount of time/money isn’t worth the improvement gain. –There are rules/regulations/legacy things that are non-obvious that make this the best thing for now –There are plans to ditch the process in the near future so changing it isn’t a good investment –This would be worth it, but it’s of medium importance and high importance keeps cropping up…so many someday it will get it’s turn –It’s been attempted to be improved before, but surprisingly turned into a nest of bees…so maybe not worth it. –Sometimes it’s a matter of “stay in your lane” if it’s technically someone else’s responsibility
Jennifer* December 12, 2018 at 4:53 pm Also, you will eventually go through the five stages of grief and come to acceptance. I’m so there with all the problems with my job. I’ve been told no so many times to about 98% of what’s broken, I just give up. Fine. Whatever. This is what the higher-ups want and that’s all that’s gonna happen.
Jennifer Juniper* December 13, 2018 at 11:35 am I have a tendency to think that whatever the higher-ups want is right, because they’re the ones in charge. All I have to do is obey and get paid. (No, that does not include anything illegal, for any wiseacres in the commentariat.)
Raging commie* December 13, 2018 at 12:32 pm See, I absolutely cannot do this, which is maybe why I’ve been dissatisfied in every job I’ve had since university.
BadWolf* December 12, 2018 at 1:26 pm On Q5/Mr Mom (ha) I do find myself and others doing this thing where we only remember one thing about someone so that’s what we bring up every time we see them in attempt to be friendly. But it can definitely seem weird. I wonder if your coworkers have latched onto too many pregnancy things because suddenly they have a “thing” to interact with you about. Maybe throw out a hobby/interest or two for them to grab onto instead. Like, “Hey, watching the new Marvel trailors? Can’t wait for Captain Marvel.” Mr. Mom seems like a category in himself. Also, I would repeat what you told us, “I know some women really like to talk about their pregnancies but I’m not really into that.” I think that helps the asker not feel too awkward and pivot to something else. With Mr. Mom, you might have to say it multiple times, possibly followed up with some, “Dude, what did I just say?”
Mr M* December 12, 2018 at 2:11 pm The one thing that working for other other people for 40+ years has taught me is to hate humanity with a passion. I am SO glad I never brought another human being into this terrible world…
Witchery* December 12, 2018 at 2:27 pm #1 – I haven’t listened to the podcast yet, but this is so me. I often feel like things would be better if I were different, or i just cared less. I’m working a lot on understanding that there are so many different types of people, and it makes sense that naturally a cookie cutter career may not feel like the right fit for everyone. Sometimes I think of work as a bizzare social experiment and use the days when the fit feels the worst to learn more about myself and about other people.
JulieCanCan* December 13, 2018 at 4:25 am Totally agree about companies and working and putting all kinds of people together inside a building to co-exist and work together for a large portion of their waking lives seeming like a valid but nutty social experiment. I think about this ALL THE TIME – how crazy it is to be plunked into an organization with strangers who you usually don’t know and have no choice in being around (and whom in your social life you’d most likely choose not to be friends with). It’s so funny when you really consider how strange the entire set-up of “work” is. Frankly, given all of the variables involved: different personalities and attitudes about everything under the sun, I’m surprised there aren’t MORE problems and issues at the workplace.
NW Mossy* December 12, 2018 at 3:16 pm I’m intrigued by the question, because I went through a very similar stretch of thoughts at one point in my career and have been managing people going through it too. To some extent, I think this kind of self-reflection is part of how we get “professionally mature.” By your early 30s, you’re past the stage of dealing with “OMG I’m such a noob” issues and you’ve got some professional competence under your belt. You have enough perspective to be able to see pain points, but you’ve yet to accumulate the influence and authority necessary to meaningfully change the big picture at your organization. You’re also still early on enough that you have the energy and the interest to want to see things change, and you want it to happen soon so that you don’t have to spend decades dealing with the brokenness. What ultimately helped me move through it was a combination of a role change and the passage of time, personally and professionally. Simply existing a bit longer as a professional gave me a greater inventory of experiences where things didn’t get solved, got solved by someone other than me, or got rendered completely moot. Having seen those things, I now have a much easier time releasing myself from caring so deeply about EVERYTHING and getting more selective. Personally, I had major life changes (moving, having kids) that rearranged my priorities at home and taught me how to feel OK with some things not being as important right now. So I guess if I’m offering counsel, it’s patience. Patience with yourself most of all, but also patience to allow life to unfold and give you experiences that help you more easily see the continuum between things you don’t care about, things you care about temporarily/intermittently, and things you will always care about. Learning the differences has felt like my first insight into the sort of wisdom that accumulates over a lifetime.
CastIrony* December 12, 2018 at 3:33 pm I wonder more about finding a job that I like AND that won’t be ruined by a bad boss (and bad fit/compatibility). I have self-diagnosed workplace PTSD, and I wonder how to find a job that has a boss that won’t do these things: – Take things away from me or take over as I am trying to fix the mistake I made – Micromanage me (criticize me all shift long, even though they have a point) – Live in fear of not if, but when, a mistake I make will derail into micromanagement – Ask me to let them know if I am ever mad at them (!) – Be nice to me and praise me in front of customers, but go back into their usual controlling behavior when it’s just me and my boss. It’s a long list, but that question about whether the OP will find a job they’ll ever like hit home.
DarlaMushrooms* December 12, 2018 at 4:23 pm In interviews I ask the hiring manager to describe management style. What their reporting structure is, how much autonomy the incumbent will have. Sometimes that will give you clues re micromanagement (watch the body language of others at the table, too). In my experience I find that the more interviews you have for a position, the more controlling the manager is. It’s not always the case, but has proved mostly true for me. I also am on guard for any passive-aggressive comments from the hiring manager (even slight ones), and any negative talk about the person previously in the position.
DarlaMushrooms* December 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm Not liking my jobs is something I have struggled with as well. I figured out that I am perfectly happy doing most tasks, but my work environment makes or breaks a job for me. Some of it is easy to screen out. For example, I have a tendency to feel resentful and envious (not my best qualities) when there is a big wealth divide between me and my superiors, so I avoid positions in which that would be the case (e.g., exec. assistant for a CEO). Workplace culture and morale is more difficult to suss out, so I try to probe a bit in interviews and ask around, but that’s not always successful. Also, when I notice a lot of processes at work that can be greatly improved I take that as an orange flag; I personally am happier with hard-working, high-achieving co-workers rather than people who just coast and do the bare minimum. Another thing I do is I Google search any of their current and recent job ads for a company I’m interested in. That tells me a lot about retention, and if turnover seems high I will ask about it in an interview.
agnes* December 12, 2018 at 4:41 pm I expected way too much from work when I was earlier–big paycheck, lots of creativity, social network, autonomy, significance, impact, etc etc. I’ve had big “important” jobs and not so big, not so important jobs. Some I’ve liked, some I haven’t. I have discovered that work is just work–it isn’t my identity. I have gotten pretty clear about what I do and don’t want in a job and more importantly,in my life. Since I’ve done that I have been a lot happier no matter what kind of work I am doing, because in the end, it wasn’t the job that was making me happy or unhappy–it was my expectations of the job. I’ve found other ways to make an impact, or have a social network, or have autonomy in my life.
Lena Clare* December 12, 2018 at 5:02 pm The pregnancy one though 0_o People are weird (and incredibly insensitive).
Jennifer* December 12, 2018 at 5:14 pm In all honesty, I know some people who just hate every single job they have. Don’t get me wrong, they usually have terrible jobs (retail, repo) or jerk coworkers (tech industry) or other good reasons to hate the job, but I suspect that if your skillsets only qualify you for certain jobs, and those certain jobs are in problematic industries, you might just end up hating everything. I don’t know if drastically changing your job skills/industry would be doable, but it might be an idea. But the LW should at least be glad that they stick with the jobs, because some of those people I’ve known who hate every job have gone to ridiculous lengths to get themselves out of jobs and/or just refuse to work. I used to know a guy who somehow managed to “slip, fall, and hurt his knee” on the first week of every damn job and he went out on workman’s comp every time. He was divey in many ways, that one, which is why I am no longer friends with his wife.
boop the first* December 13, 2018 at 9:41 am That’s what kind of worries me about this particular letter – it’s not about low-rung jobs at all. I assume I hate my jobs because they really are just Bad Jobs. So reading the perspective of someone who sounds like they have their life together is challenging the idea of purchasing papers that let you into the higher-rung “careers”. :/
Pescadero* December 13, 2018 at 3:11 pm Yep… that is probably me. I’m 20+ years into my career. I’m a high performer. I’ve had good jobs. I like the tasks involved in most of my jobs. I just don’t like jobs. The very obligation to work is soul crushing, and my entire goal in working since the day I started my first full time job is to make enough money so I can quit working as soon as is humanly possible. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed to have an aptitude in a high paying industry which will allow me to retire relatively early (hopefully before 55)… but that will still be almost 40 years more work than I’d like to have done.
Overworked night owl zombie* December 12, 2018 at 6:16 pm This is concerning the last question, about the pregnant woman. The next time someone asks if your going to leave after the baby comes, look them straight in the eyes and in a serious voice “That’s a little inappropriate to ask. Would you ask a man that?” It will make them think. As it is a little sexist.
Asenath* December 13, 2018 at 8:32 am I think, as others have said, it takes time to understand yourself and your workplace, and also no job is perfect. After finally (and belatedly) leaving a job that was an abysmal fit for so many reasons, I felt that anything that kept a roof over my head would do, especially while I was working towards getting the training I needed for my next target job. I ended up staying in one of those temp jobs until I realized that (a) there appeared to be no sign of me getting a job in the field I was then aiming for and (b) I mostly liked what I was doing, and it looked secure as well. But it took me time to learn to appreciate what I had, and also to let go of my desire to fix everything around me, even things that weren’t really part of my job and, in the bigger picture, weren’t that important.
boop the first* December 13, 2018 at 9:47 am I’ve hated all my jobs too, but then I don’t really like any aspect of my life even though it’s technically pretty darn simple, comfortable and I have nothing legitimate to complain about. Maybe it’s a work vs reward issue. My current job – the actual work itself is not too bad. Dare I say, interesting even? but the environment is unbearable. It’s filthy (really should be shut down), run by extremely difficult personalities, unsafe, and way too understaffed. And since I’m usually “comfortable” financially (due to having a spouse who earns twice what I do, plus having so few expenses because our lives are so incredibly boring/empty), the pay cheques aren’t worth the trouble. I try to reduce my hours to part time wherever I go, but without fail, I get forced to work full time because I’m such an accommodating pushover who is used to working with difficult people. I’m the only one who hasn’t had a full on screaming match with my boss, so I guess that means he wants me around more??? Ugh. haha sorry, I have no advice. I just sympathize.
Jennifer Juniper* December 13, 2018 at 11:32 am Figure out what you need, want, what you can put up with, and what is a dealbreaker for you in a job. Your career coach should be able to help you with that. Then act accordingly on your information.