let’s talk about bombed interviews and other job search mortifications

by Alison Green on January 23, 2020

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:

Today I had the worst job interview of my entire life. I am a young graduate professional who had the opportunity for a job that would have put my in a great position financially and mentally. It wasn’t a dream job, because those don’t exist, but I was really excited about it. Alison. I bombed it. It was terrible. It got me thinking though, I can’t be the only (semi) successful person who has totally failed something. Can we hear about mortifying interview experiences?

Yessss. Readers, please tell us about your bombed interviews and other job search mortifications in the comment section.

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{ 1,215 comments }

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  1. Andy*

    New to town, recently graduated, interview for a temp agency. Not even a position, just the agency.
    I choked. Literally. Something (dust? anxiety?) got all caught up in my throat and I absolutely choked and hacked and coughed and it could not be controlled. I was MORTIFIED. I must not have handled the near-death gasping as gracefully as they needed me to. I was not placed.
    I was not surprised.

    1. CupcakeCounter*

      I can beat that.
      I coughed so hard I threw up.
      Just a little and I was able to swallow it back but it came with a HUGE, chunky, wet belch that was so loud there was no chance they didn’t know vomit was involved.
      They got me a bottle of water and I snuck a mint (which also helped soothe my tickly throat) and it was not discussed.
      I did get the job and stayed for over 7 years.

        1. De Minimis*

          My wife has a related thing where she feels compelled to laugh whenever someone starts choking. She warned me about it when we first started to get to know each other.

      2. Liz E.*

        I once threw up in an interview, but at least I managed to step out into the hallway! I cleaned myself off and walked right back in and got the internship, but it’s still embarrassing 10+ years later.

        2. Jeannie*

          Oh dear. I made my brother have an embarrassing job interview by giving him the stomach flu. They gave him a trashcan and kept the interview going (doctors are odd). He got the job.

          1. PeanutButter*

            TBH the ability to keep going through illness is prized in the healthcare field. When I worked as a paramedic it was not unheard of for people who were sick to give themselves IV’s and hook up a saline/banana bag to give themselves a pick-me-up during downtime/charting.

            Not saying it was great but with the way healthcare is run as a business in the US, the work culture is definitely who can work the hardest/most overtime/etc and is one of the reasons burnout is so high. :/

        3. Gazebo Slayer*

          I remember Alison ran a letter a while back from someone who’d puked on the interview room floor during an interview!

          1. Theresa Rozum*

            I once had a new manager decide to interview every employee after he was hired. He started off okay with the standard, “Tell me about yourself” and “What do think your strengths are. ” Then he says ( you have to know here that I’m a full figured woman), “Tell me about your weight problem.” I replied, “I don’t have a weight problem.” He says,”Well, I believe you do.” To which I said, “Well…that would make it your problem,
            not mine.” His face turned bright red and he changed the subject.

            3. There’s probably a cat meme to describe it*

              I want to high five or fist bump you, but neither feel adequate. How about that thing in soccer where people half lift up their shirt over their face and run around blindly screaming in celebration? Too much?

    2. New Job So Much Better*

      “Please don’t tell Bernadette how badly I bombed this interview”– Penny on TBBT.

      1. Token Female*

        I also had a terrible interview with Intel. They accused me of lying on my resume and yelled at me. I was young and so insecure I burst into tears. It still irks me that I didn’t have the skills to refute what he was saying. I didn’t lie! And he was a jerk.

        1. Junior Assistant Peon*

          Intel hires PhD’s in my field, and the company has a reputation for having a lot of obnoxiously ultra-competitive personalities. I see it’s well-deserved!

          1. BekaAnne*

            Yes and no… I wouldn’t necessarily say “a lot” but in certain areas, there are definitely a lot of egos involved. And the higher you go, the more ego is involved… But when I worked there, most of the people either in clean rooms, supporting the clean room workers and working in the fabs were lovely. It was when you got to HR, R&D and teams like that who were more problematic.

    4. Nita*

      Oh no! That reminds me of a dinner interview I had years ago. Mexican restaurant. There were chips and salsa, and somehow I got a chip’s pointy end embedded in my gum. I could tell right away that was going to bleed big time. I shut my mouth, managed to smile and nod toward the bathroom without (I think) making it look like I’m trying to keep my mouth shut no matter what, and locked myself in the bathroom to clean up. I’m so glad there were several people talking at once, so no one asked me any questions. I made a mental note to see the dentist about that cleaning ASAP, got the job, and never ate chips in public again!

    5. Llame job seeker*

      I was interviewing for an agriculture magazine suite and even though they clearly said “you don’t have to have farming experience” in the description, I felt it might help if I could speak intelligently to an agriculture question should it come up. I panicked, though, when asked “Not that it’s necessary, but were curious if you have any farming or ag experience?”

      “MY UNCLE HAS A LLAMA!”

      This was all I could think of. My uncle had a farm and I’d visited several times. He recently bartered some work for a llama (I don’t know why, his wife wasn’t pleased…). So in this interview, the best I could come up with is that my extended relative had a single dromedary.

      They laughed. I was mortified. But I got the job!

        1. Loubelou*

          You got me, I laughed out loud too XD well done on getting the job! Did you write any llama articles?

      3. Stormfeather*

        And here I thought all the talking about llama wrangling on resumes and interviews was supposed to be non-literal…

      7. BekaAnne*

        Them: “Why are you interested in working for our company?”
        Me: “I watch all the medical shows and love them…”

        Super cringy – that was just over 4 years ago, and they still describe me as one of the best candidates they’ve ever interviewed. Don’t know how… I honestly figured that I’d fluffed it.

      9. frogsandturtles*

        One of my favorite kids’ books is about a farm llama: Harley, by Star Livingstone and Molly Bang.

    6. anon y. mous*

      At the interview for my first-ever FT job, I warned them that I was still getting over the end of a cold, but didn’t think it would be too bad. I was very wrong. Halfway through I got caught in a coughing fit that lasted over a solid minute – just spasms and spasms, couldn’t breathe at all.

      When the interviewer asked me worriedly if I was OK while shoving tissues at me, I lifted my head with tears STREAMING DOWN MY FACE and gasped “It’s fine, I’m just so happy to be here that I’m crying.”

      The job turned out to be a disaster but I’m still proud I managed that save.

        1. anon y. mous*

          Yep – not taking credit for the quality of the joke though. I think most reasonably merciful people would at least try for a polite chuckle in that situation.

    7. Jean*

      I got struck by a horrid coughing fit out of nowhere in an interview once too! The best part was when the person interviewing me said “Everyone we bring into this room has a coughing fit.” I felt really safe after that, let me tell you.

      They ended up calling and offering me a lower paid, crappier position than the one I applied/interviewed for. I said no thanks, and maybe look into having your ventilation system checked.

    8. Elizabeth West*

      This happened to me once (allergies), and I had nothing with me. I asked for a cup of water and although they got me one, they looked at me as if I was a bug. I didn’t get the job.

      Now I have a water bottle with me AT ALL TIMES.

    9. The Man, Becky Lynch*

      You weren’t placed?

      After you had this interview, did you contact them again? Since it was a temp agency…that may have been the reason you never heard from them again.

      In my experience many folks will go fill out the paperwork, do their initial interview with the agency and then wait for them to contact them, only to hear crickets.

      The thing with temp agencies is that isn’t how that works at all. You have to constantly check with them and push them to get you into a position. Only after they’ve placed you successfully once will you be put into their regular rotation. It’s a dumb system and I hate it personally but it’s important to remember these are not actually a traditional employer and are a go-between for you and your future placement. So you have to do that stupid gumption routine we otherwise say never to try!

      I’ve seen so many folks go to every temp agency in town and just wait it out and are like “This temping this is impossible! I thought they were always hiring!”

    10. Rachel*

      I was 24-ish, going out for a different position within the (ginormous) company I’d been with for 2 years.
      My mom called to say we needed to put down our family dog of 13 years right before I went to an interview. By “right before”, I mean 5 minutes before they called me in.
      I have no idea what I said, it’s a swirling black hole.

      But hey! That was 2 jobs ago (I’ve been progressively moving up) and I just accepted a job offer after negotiating a $10k salary increase and they threw in a cash bonus.
      And while no dog could ever replace my dear Tessa, my sweet Olive is snoring next to me.

  2. Sternoblaze*

    My absolute favorite was in college when I interviewed for an internship with the Associated Press. I was a magazine journalism major, but I had been working/job shadowing at my hometown newspaper as a reporter and page designer for a few years at that point. The interviewer was pretty horrified by this.

    Him: “So I see you’re a magazine major, but you’ve worked as a reporter and page designer. What do you even want to do?”
    Me: “Well, I’d like to eventually write for magazines, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have experience in a lot of different areas… right?”

    He harrumphed at me. I kept trying to win him over. It wasn’t working. At the end, he basically threw an AP-branded lanyard and tin of mints at me (everyone who interviewed got those) and said, “Here.” At this point I was pissed off at his behavior and responded with ,”Wow, it’s just like Christmas.”

    Yep, pretty sure the AP will never hire me. But that’s okay, because I bailed on jouralism pretty quickly after getting my degree.

      2. Prof. Kat*

        Sometimes people have some SUPER WEIRD exclusionary ideas about what experience is relevant or appropriate.

        I’m a professor Mechanical Engineering, and I was on a hiring committee for an opening in my department a few years ago. We had a very strong candidate whose degree was in Aerospace Engineering. For folks who are unfamiliar, these two fields have a TON of overlap. My research field, combustion, is sometimes found in ME departments, sometimes in AE departments, and sometimes both. I have colleagues from both fields, and I could just as easily ended up being a professor of AE with my background, despite my degree being in ME. Anyway: overlap! So much overlap! But one of the members of the hiring committee was super bothered the fact that the candidate had an AE background, even though his research was adjacent to mine, and we were specifically looking for someone with experience in *his area of research*. She wouldn’t let it go, and she actually tried to disqualify him from the search pool early on. It was very strange.

        2. Zelda*

          Have you heard the one about the mixed marriage? She was a chemical physicist, and he was a physical chemist, but somehow they made it work!

        3. Dr Wizard, PhD*

          I have a doctorate in English with a PhD thesis on representation in fantasy literature. I have also published on science fiction. These fields have unimaginable overlap.

          I wasn’t considered for a postdoc researching science fiction because they only wanted people whose PhDs were on science fiction specifically.

    5. Elisabeth*

      That’s so dumb. It’s not like journalism jobs grow on trees; most of us end up doing a range of things during our careers. (And for what it’s worth, my degree was also technically in magazine journalism. That would be the one thing I’ve never done for any length of time.)

      It sounds like the interviewer had some kind of bug up his butt.

      1. GreenDoor*

        My husband, who works in publishing himself, would say “and that’s why paper publishing is a dying industry.” Just a weird stick-in-the-mudness in that industry about certain things.

      2. Elizabeth West*

        Judging by the job posts I’ve been seeing that want a range of skills, I have to agree.

      3. BekaAnne*

        But surely it’s a good thing to have experience in adjacent and related roles, especially when the business contains and interacts with these roles every day… You have an appreciation of how to work better with those departments, and set things up so that it’s easier for them to pick you your work. I don’t … I don’t get it…

    6. Coffee Cup*

      Yes, how is it a bad thing to get experience in different roles within your industry as a student?

    7. Midwest Writer*

      I’m going to defend him just a little. I’ve been a newspaper reporter for 20 years. Working for the AP would be daily deadlines and a super fast-paced environment. And practically every student in j-school says something about wanting to write for magazines. The perception amongst newspaper types is that magazines are a cushy job (not saying it’s true, just that that’s the perception). He heard “I want the freedom to write long-form, investigative or in-depth features” and what he needed was someone to write 200-words in 20 minutes on breaking news, with the ability to either flesh it out in the follow-up versions or the humility to pass off the bigger story to more experienced reporters. It’s totally OK to want to write for magazines. It’s just that’s a totally different area of expertise.
      Yes, journalism needs people who are well-rounded and yes, reporters do best with getting a lot of experience. But in this case, I think Sternoblaze didn’t spin it as “lots of experience doing lots of things is great” and the interviewer heard “I’m not particularly interested in this job.”

      1. Senor Montoya*

        But it was an INTERNSHIP. Not a job. That guy might have had reasons or feels about it, but seriously, INTERNSHIP.

        1. MissGirl*

          Journalism internships are highly competitive. I was rejected from internships at local papers for not having enough experience. The AP would be so much more prestigious and hard to get than those.

          Like the OP, I found another field.

          1. ampersand*

            Thirding this. I also found another field–I couldn’t take the competition, among other things.

        2. 2 Cents*

          Yeah, the AP guy is looking for someone who wants to be that reporter, not someone who wants to try a lot of things. That said, OP’s resume must have impressed (and maybe the AP test scores) because those internships are really competitive.

          Speaking as a journalism major, now marketer (gasp!)

          1. le sigh*

            you’re right, but there’s also a ton of snobbery within journalism (at least in my day). the print journalism kids at my jschool all competed to out-grizzle one other (skipping class to work on stories, drinking at the bar til 3am, etc.) at the ripe ole age of 20, looking down at the TV and radio kids. it wasn’t much different in the professional world, either. AP guy probably felt this person wasn’t interested, so why was she wasting his time — but also, i’ve sat in some really condescending internship interviews with old timers who have a really narrow idea of what a “real” journalist is.

            1. Gatomon*

              That terrible culture really turned me off journalism by the time I finished my degree. Unfortunately I think at least 2 students in my year ended up committing suicide within a few years after graduation due to the pressure of the industry. The one that sticks in my mind the most was the “golden child” photo student who walked on water in the jschool, but couldn’t land a job after graduating.

      2. RoseMai*

        Either way he handled it terribly! If he was concerned about her interests, it would’ve been a natural next question to just ask.

      3. Sternoblaze*

        To be honest, I wasn’t particularly interested in the position. But one of my teachers specifically recommended I interview for the internship, so I did. My dream job was writing for “Entertainment Weekly”. I think if I’d told that to this guy he would have literally exploded on the spot.
        I never did end up writing for any magazines. I was a daily newspaper reporter for a while. As I mentioned, I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t the right role for me so I bailed. And looking at the state of journalism now, I’m glad I made that decision.

        1. Nagi*

          Out of curiosity, do you mind if I ask what you do now? I always find it interesting to see the changes in people’s career paths.

          1. Sternoblaze*

            I work in project management. I liked writing, but I wanted to write fluff, and those jobs aren’t exactly plentiful.

            1. Working Hypothesis*

              I admit to reading the kind of fluff you wanted to write, occasionally. And judging from the truly terrible grammar/structure/logical gaps I keep seeing in the online entertainment magazines, you’d have clearly been better than 99% of what’s out there, just based on the quality of your comments here! (Not saying you should’ve stayed in the industry; I’m just curious how, if it’s so competitive, they seem to keep landing idiots who can’t write.)

          2. Autumn Whitefield-Madrano*

            Magazine journalist career-changer here! I switched to “content marketing,” where I essentially write magazine-style pieces but for brands. It’s more stable in its own way but unstable in other ways, because content agencies lose and win clients all the time, so I was hired to work on clients that matched my background and am now writing articles that I have zero qualifications whatsoever to write.

    8. WantonSeedStitch*

      As someone who went to J-school as a grad student and was never able to make it into the industry because I couldn’t get an internship (which were all unpaid) AND also be able to work enough hours at an actual paying job to afford rent and food…screw that guy. You had actual experience and were looking for an internship to get more. Honestly, that sounds like a great thing. It’s not easy to get any kind of internship in journalism. Magazines are even harder because there are fewer of them than newspapers, and they seem to be less inclined to take on interns.

      I also bailed on journalism, but I’m happy with that and love my current career (which does actually use my researching and reporting skills from J-school, so that’s kind of great).

      1. TootsNYC*

        lots of the big magazine publishers (Condé Nast and Hearst, specifically) have fucked up internship management so badly and been stung for it (justly so) that they won’t have interns anymore. They can’t trust their employees to treat interns properly.

        I keep wishing they’d say, “fine, we’ll pay minimum wage,” but they find it easier to just not bother. And since the field is shrinking, I don’t think they’re worried about trying to help train up qualified junior employees; they just hire someone who’s working below their experience level.

        1. whomever*

          See I find that depressing. I work in computing and my internships ALL paid well. Like really well (actually one of them 12 years later I was…shit, I’m still here, how did that happen?)

          1. le sigh*

            yeah, my cousins did internships in computer engineering and the pay and opportunities were a world away from my journalism internships. it didn’t help that i had to limit my options to paying internships (they exist, but there aren’t many and they pay a pittance). and honestly, like some of the other commenters here, i just found it wasn’t what i wanted to be doing in the long-term.

      2. elescissorhands*

        I also bailed on journalism/ communications, it’s been so therapeutic to hear stories like mine! I’m still trying to find the type of position that would allow me to use the skills I learned. WantonSeedStitch, I’m just wondering what your current field is?

    9. Coffee Cat*

      Fellow Mass Comm/Journalism grad here. I graduated in 2007 just as the economy was collapsing. Myself & most of my peers never landed jobs in the industry. The few internship & job interviews I went to involved interviewers who were very condescending & made me feel like I was lucky to even be allowed to sit in the lobby. I ended up going into financial services. I worked my way up to management, working 9-5 and making much more than I would have made in journalism land. My company has encouraged me to take on training/teaching role where I write & edit all new hire & training course materials. I get to enjoy writing & creating, but in a different field.

      1. UnicornPoopsSkittles*

        Mass Comm/Journalism grad here, class of 2008. Same. Just… same. Only I ended up in medical research administration managing contracts and budget negotiation.

    10. Former Recruiter*

      That weirdly made me think of the scene in Gilmore Girls when Rory interviews with the newspaper. So awkward!

    11. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

      (With the caveat that I don’t know anything about journalism/media specifically) it doesn’t sound like you were the one who should have been mortified here. I initially thought he could be just asking how the AP internship would fit with your overall ‘profile’ but then given that he “harrumphed”.. this person just sounds like a jerk.

    12. Rachel 2: Electric Boogaloo*

      An agency sent me to a company to interview for a position. I don’t get the job, but the interviewer gives the agency good feedback about me. (They hired someone with a little more experience in the company’s specific industry.)

      Several months later, the agency sends me back over to that company to interview for another position. The first guy I interview with and I really hit it off and things go really well. He tells me that he’s going to bring his boss in so she can meet with me. Said boss walks in, and lo and behold, it’s the person I interviewed with the first time I was there. She says “Oh, if I realized it was you, I would have told the agency not to bother sending you back here.” And…interview over.

      Thanks to that experience, I am very hesitant to apply for another position at a company if I’ve already had contact with them about a previous position, unless somebody at said company were to reach out to me about another position. Otherwise, in my mind… I had my chance, and that was that.

      2. applesthatacquiesce*

        You do yourself a disservice. People are jerks and remember that people move around so this manager, may or may not still be a manager. Let it go

    13. frogsandturtles*

      What?? Why would working for your hometown newspaper & also doing design work be a problem?? I’d think it would be an asset. That’s such a weird take.

  3. Amber Rose*

    I once spent an interview badmouthing my previous employer. Just, talking about how they lied to me and mistreated everyone and were generally terrible. I shockingly did not get that job and also I die a little inside thinking back on how inappropriate that was.

    1. JokeyJules*

      I, too, have done exactly this. I definitely had the immature mindset of “oh, you want to know why i’m looking for new work? let me tell you alllllll about it” which is very much not what was really happening.

    2. PB*

      I did this once, and somehow did get offered that job. I didn’t take it (a second, better offer came in at the same time), but I am baffled as to why they would have wanted to take a chance on me after that.

      1. CupcakeCounter*

        My theory is that someone on the hiring committee worked there previously and had a similar experience. They wanted to hire you on principle to get you out of that hellhole.

      2. TootsNYC*

        I might do such a thing if I felt your credentials were really good, and I otherwise liked you, and I sensed that your previous employer was a trauma that you’d probably recover from pretty quickly.

      3. MM*

        I had interviewers ask me about not even my prior employer, just an org I’d worked at in the past that they had heard of. It wasn’t “why are you looking for work,” but rather “tell us your opinion of Organization.” It was the scariest Catch-22 I think I’ve had in an interview! I couldn’t tell if it was a test to see whether I had the professionalism not to badmouth, or a test to see whether I was discerning enough to see what was wrong with that org!

        I split the difference as best I could. Didn’t fully badmouth it, but I did, ah, acknowledge some concerns and critiques I had about the place. The two interviewers then Exchanged Significant Glances, which made me even more worried about the whole thing. I ended up getting the job, but to this day I wonder what that was about and whether I unknowingly screwed a former employer out of some grant money or something.

        1. rldk*

          they might have been asking because they’d had people come in with bad habits from that org, or just heard it was very dysfunctional. in which case, i’d think your response was perfect – showing that you recognized the issues while maintaining tact to not rant and rave.

        2. Max is my dog*

          I took a HR-related job that seemed like a step up for me at an organization that was on those Top Places to Work lists. The person who hire me was warm and friendly and spoke of her staff as a team pulling together. It took me only a short time to realize it was all a lie. The boss had personal problems that were affecting her. She often drank her lunch and then turned mean. No one who worked for this place appeared happy. My counterpart on the staff had sued the boss for racial discrimination so they didn’t speak My first project was to “clean up” after a mistake that the boss had made years earlier but I balked at signing my name to correspondence that I knew was problematic, if not illegal. After that I could do nothing right. I am certain that she (or someone at her instigation) twice removed checks from files in a cabinet in my locked office after hours; the spare keys were not secured. She fired me the day I reported the second theft and made unfounded accusations about my honesty. I was there only ten weeks

          I chose to leave this experience off my resume even though I had quit another job to take it. I don’t think I was asked directly about the gap but was prepared to say that I needed time off to deal with a personal loss. I got another job four moths later.

    3. Massmatt*

      If it makes you feel better, I have interviewed multiple people that badmouth their prior (or even current) employer. Even more people don’t make the mistake of saying bad things, but through gritted teeth, etc make it clear it’s a sore spot, especially if they were laid off.

      I’ve been laid off, it was painful, but the best advice I got during my job search was in how to handle talking about it. Describe what happened, using as neutral language as possible. Say something positive about the experience, and then immediately transition to talking about how that experience leads/helps you to what you are looking for NOW. Practice! Have a friend or acquaintance (preferably someone with experience hiring) mock interview you and give candid feedback. If you can’t do that, record yourself! Yes, I hate listening to/watching myself but every cringe you experience in practice is hopefully one less in a live interview.

      1. Mr M*

        I am trying to think about a positive from being laid-off with the an entire workforce of 720 on the same day because the company filed for bankruptcy & the COO & CFO are under investigation by the SEC…

        1. Perpal*

          A default positive may be something along the lines of “and now I am free to move on to bigger and better things!”

        2. Beatrice*

          Positive about working there, not necessarily about your separation experience. There, you’re going for neutral.

          “I was part of a mass layoff after the company had some difficulties with the SEC that weren’t related to my job. I was sad to go; I really enjoyed the opportunities I got to work on marketing process improvements there.”

        3. JustMyImagination*

          Unfortunately, the business had to close the site I was working at. It’s unfortunate as I met some really great people there, but I am excited that it gave me a push to explore new opportunities!

          That’s the gist of what I would use after I was laid off.

        4. The Man, Becky Lynch*

          You don’t make the layoff itself positive, you make your experience prior to the layoff positive!

          As others have stated it’s a “Unfortunately the business wasn’t sustainable and did have to close. However I was involved in many projects that have taught me valuable skills and I met many good people there.”

          I’ve had companies file bankruptcy before that’s actually better in the long run [unless you’re the CEO and trying to get another job…then that’s viewed a direct fail on their part often enough]. For all the employees who weren’t in that high executive role, you are just seen as a victim of their bad choices or really in most cases, the victim of a standard economy that consumes businesses for a lot of reasons, rarely due to gross negligence on anyone’s part.

          My very first job included an embezzling GM and an owner who made the worst thing that you can ever do mistake, allowed a big business to essentially own them without any actual ownership stake. AKA they were the only contact/customer and when they decided they were done, they pulled out and left the place dead in the water.

          But I learned all the basics of data entry, basics of accounting, structures and procedures that weren’t the reason the place died. So I still talk about the place fondly to the people who want to hear the good times and not the bad.

          1. Really - I'm not an idiot*

            I have more than 1! The most memorable:

            1) law school on-campus interview with big NYC firm:

            Interviewer: what kind of law are you interested in practicing?
            Me: litigation
            Interviewer: you know we don’t have a litigation practice, right?
            Me (after uncomfortable silence): I don’t know why I’m even here.
            Interview ends.

            2) interview for a GC position in a private equity firm. After acing interviews with a bunch of folks, they hand me a laptop and a 50 page agreement and ask me to write up a summary of all the ERISA issues. I start a Word doc with my name – and nothing else. I sat there for 30 mins bc my mind was blank and I hadn’t done that type of work in several years. Then, I had an interview with the President who told me how excited he was about my candidacy and I then interviewed with him even though I knew I had no chance. Spoiler: I didn’t get the job. I cringe thinking about their faces when they opened the word doc.

        5. Massmatt*

          I feel for you, honestly, that stinks. But—Did you learn anything there? Hit a big sales goal? Grow your skills? Even terrible jobs usually have SOME positive. Find something, you will be the better candidate for your next job.

          Entire company closing/lay-off is terrible, but In a way easier to explain than why out of 2,000 employees YOU were one of the 1-200 laid off.

          Explain, say something positive about it, and immediately move the discussion towards what you are doing NOW—talking about the interviewer’s job and how good you would be at it.

          1. Curmudgeon in California*

            Even when you work for an absolute disaster of a dysfunctional madhouse, you can always say “The position was a real eye-opener into how many ways a firm can mis-step. I now know what kinds of things to watch for in places I work so I don’t get stuck in an untenable situation.”

            I said something like this after I bailed out of a company that was circling the drain *hard*. Two months after I left there was a massive layoff, and bankruptcy, IIRC.

        6. That Girl from Quinn's House*

          If it was in the news, you can say, “Well I’m sure you’ve seen the news,” and then go on to why you want the job, without skipping a beat. They’ll Google it after.

        7. JSPA*

          “Despite excellent rapport with my co-workers and real interest in the day-to-day job, there were always some details at GONEBUSTCO that never quite added up. I’m sad to be in this situation–all of us let go, bankruptcy, top brass under investigation–but at least I now have context and a bigger picture understanding. Being suddenly thrust out is painful, but I really do take comfort in being in good company. I want the job offer! But if you don’t hire me, I hope you do hire one of my excellent ex coworkers.”

      2. chipMunkey*

        oh my. I interviewed someone who used “my f&*#$&_ manager” in every example given. EVERY. We did not hire. And a good lesson in using quotes inside of summarizing to capture the candidate’s responses.

    4. Yorick*

      I accidentally did this. I was trying to find out if they had the same terrible problems, but I didn’t know how to ask in a professional way. So I was basically like, “Is the department chair a jerk? Is the dean a terrible cheapskate? Because I’m dealing with that a lot right now. Let me tell you all about it.”

    5. Jellyfish*

      Ha, I once missed a job for the opposite reason. I worked in an absolute hellhole, but I’d been told not to badmouth a previous employer during an interview. With no real definition for “badmouth” and no diplomatic scripts to explain that it was time to move on, I stubbornly refused to explain why I wanted to leave a job that appeared decent on paper.
      My interviewer kept pushing for details, and I repeated over & over that my boss and I didn’t communicate well. While that was technically accurate, I only succeeded in making myself looking like a terrible communicator.

      1. TootsNYC*

        If I were interviewing, and you said “my boss and I don’t communicate well,” I wouldn’t push. I’d figure it was a mismatch.
        Maybe because that’s what I had once.

        I was once trying to leave a job I’d been at for a long time, mostly because the new boss and I just didn’t jell. I felt that she started every interaction or evaluation from the mindset that I MUST have screwed something up. And of course, sometimes I did screw something up.

        I interviewed at a bigger company she had once worked at (but for a job in a different department, but same industry/skill set), and the HR person said, “Oh, you work with Janet! She’s great, right?” And then “Why do you want to leave?”
        I just said, “Well, I’ve been there 10 years, and it’s just time to see if I can find something fresh.”
        But…

      2. Cedrus Libani*

        I did that once. Truth was, I loved my job, but it was at a startup. They were out of money. This rat was exiting the sinking ship, or at least trying to. I was interviewing at a direct competitor. Now that I’m more experienced, I would have just said – look, we both know I’m under NDA, breaking that would be a bad look, it’s not job or performance related and my boss will back me up on this. Here’s his number. But I was young, and I went with some content free babble about new opportunities. The hiring manager knew I was bluffing, and asked the question multiple times, but I had no idea what else to say. Nope, no job for me.

    6. EH*

      Ughghgh my first interview back on the market after a bunch of years in one place went like that. Felt like I sat in a little booth in the back of my head yelling STOP TALKING ABOUT OLDJOB OMG but nope. Ran my mouth, didn’t get the gig, don’t blame them at all.

      My next interview went much, much better, as have all interviews since – got it out of my system, I guess? Still, I cringe when I think about it.

      1. TardyTardis*

        I had to explain a gap of over a decade. “Special needs child, finally living on his own” pretty much covered it for me.

    7. Anon for this*

      I have done this too. The employer I was badmouthing was Oxford University. There are no words for the levels of cringe I feel looking back.

        1. Anonomoose*

          Apropos of nothing, I feel that, having talked to friends and from experience, almost anywhere that seems from the outside to be super prestigious and awesome is a bit of a hellmouth

          1. Anon for this*

            Oh yes, I completely agree! And thank you for my hypothetical hiring, my less than diplomatic or tactful 20-something self is slightly less mortified.

          2. Curmudgeon in California*

            I can agree with this. I work for a private university with significant name recognition.

            I once worked for a private religious university, and it was worse. Everyone there lied or was entitled as heck.

          3. Extremely anon for this*

            My worst-ever interviewer was at MIT. Oddly enough, I worked there in several departments, and it’s weird but not a hellmouth.

            1. Working Hypothesis*

              I was a student at the University of Chicago, and I worked there for several months during a gap year in the middle of my college years. It was pretty boring but otherwise unexceptionable — topical low-level office grunt work, but no worse in any other way than you’d find at any comparable type of job. And a couple of my friends stayed on after graduation as permanent staff in IT roles, and rather liked working there.

              So, no hellmouth that I’m aware of. I mean, yes, the place is a university, and as such it has all the weirdness of any other institute of higher education — Alison has talked a lot about the ways in which academia is a different world from the ordinary workplace, and it’s certainly true from my experience! — but AFAICT it’s not particularly worse than the less prestigious schools, and in some ways better than many.

    8. JB (not in Houston)*

      I did this once. Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I was thinking “You are not supposed to do this,” but it just came out before I could stop it! I’m still embarrassed thinking about it, even though I would not have been a good fit at that firm.

    9. PolicyWonk*

      I recently reviewed intern applications for a prestigious internship. Several statements of interest said a variation of “I would like this internship because it’s prestigious.” But the best one (“best”) said that she would like this internship because all her previous internships were horrible.

  4. Casual Librarian*

    In college, I once answered the ‘question’ “Tell me about yourself.” with an entire family history and a talk about where I came from and my hobbies. Think along the lines of, “Well, I come from city, state and have 3 brothers and 2 nieces. My dog just turned three last week and likes to listen to me practice the trumpet….” I went on like that for a solid 2 minutes before they cut me off and continued the interview.

    1. RPL*

      Oh, god, same. The interviewer cut me off by saying, “I want to know why I should hire you, not be your friend,” and I was so mortified.

      1. Beancat*

        Oh my god the thought of hearing that makes me want to shrivel up D: Kudos to you for carrying on because I think I would have been so stressed I vibrated out of the visible light spectrum.

          1. Beancat*

            Hahaha please do! It’s just a fun turn of phrase that can apply to many things, like stress or too much coffee.

        2. RPL*

          I probably should’ve just left right honestly. I was so flustered that there was no hope of saving myself. To make it worse, he’d taken me to the kitchen area for the interview for some reason, so the entire time there was someone sitting nearby eating a yogurt cup (very, very slowly, probably getting a kick out of watching me embarrass myself) and people wandering in and out. Total nightmare for my very first interview.

    2. Hobbies*

      Oh goodness, same. It’s mortifying to think about now. But without proper guidance… the struggle is real!

    3. Joie*

      But like, this is a reasonable issue. I’ve gone professional elevator pitch and they stare at me and go “how about about you personally?”

      But, maybe I’m odd but I would be absolutely pleased if someone told me they have a dog who likes to listen to the trumpet. Just reading that brings me joy.

      2. Rebecca in Dallas*

        Right? I would have been like, “Please show me pics of the dog now” and then we’d spend the rest of the interview talking about our pets.

    4. WantonSeedStitch*

      To be fair to you, vague-ass questions like “tell me about yourself” are not good interview technique!

      1. Disco Janet*

        Literally every interview I went to for my current profession asked me exactly that question, so I’m sure the expectation is that you will have a spiel ready about your (relevant) background.

        1. Socrates Johnson*

          What’s annoying is that is literally what is in your resume and I feel like it’s just reiterating it.
          Well,. I started here and got promoted and moved here and did this and blah blah.

          I never ask that.

          1. RabbitRabbit*

            When we ask it in my department, we want an idea of your progress in your career. Connect those dots that you laid out on the resume.

    5. YMMV*

      That’s hilarious. Reminds me of a time I was on an interview panel, and we asked some typical question like “tell me about a time you solved a problem.”

      and we got a 5+ minute spiel about how this guy managed to get his junker of a car (that did not run) out of his friends driveway in less than 48 hours, since his friend said it was no longer welcome there. His solution? call around till yet a DIFFERENT friend allowed him to place it in HIS yard.

      The interview panel and I just sat and listened in awe.

      Oh? And the job in question was for an entry level IT Developer role. Nothing to do with junker cars. At all.

      1. Quill*

        I always clarify questions like “how did you handle a difficult situation” with “do you want one from my professional career, or would you be fine with one from my studies or volunteer work?” because which one they want is pretty dependent.

        Professionally? I had a terrible boss and supervisor and I dealt with my supervisor, who I characterize as “not communicating efficiently,” rather than giving me verbal orders that she changed 5 minutes later and then yelled at me about, by forcing her to put all her requests in writing.

        Personally I can always fall back on having to change my undergrad thesis topic a month and a half before it was due. (I got a “you fainted in your advisor’s office, are you OK?” compassion B- and the shame of knowing that my thesis is freely available online if you do a little digging.)

        1. Casual Librarian*

          This is so great! I love the “professional career or studies/volunteer/etc” that’s a solid tip.

        2. YMMV*

          I think we would have been more open to “non-work” answers if his examples wasn’t about moving a rusted, non-working car from driveway to driveway… lol.

          3. Happily Self Employed*

            I would have been impressed if the solution was to recruit all his car buddies to get it running (while sourcing parts, adapting parts/tools, getting a moving permit, etc.) by basically doing a super crunch engineering project. It might involve actual physical parts and not code, but demonstrates leadership, project management, resourcefulness, and a lot of skills that are harder to demonstrate than whiteboard coding tests.

    6. TimeTravelR*

      I interviewed a woman who started her response to that question with the number of kids she has…. I knew then it was not the response I was looking for. I no longer ask that question in that way.

    7. The Man, Becky Lynch*

      I’ve had this happen in interviews a lot and it’s never actually cost anyone a job. It’s kind of heartwarming really because nothing that you are saying is weird or offensive to me, it is answering a question presented as “Tell me about yourself.” [Use “Tell me about your career and what brings you here today.” or something like that, jfc interviewers.]

      I’m kind of angry at the person RPL up thread is talking about. Don’t be a vague jerk and then respond with something catty like that. You can cut into someone’s monologue easily without being rude. You redirect into “What about you career wise, I’m sorry I wasn’t more clear, that was more of what I was getting at!”

    8. Karo*

      Ditto! I also threw in some answers to the (unasked!) not-illegal-but-not-advisable questions, like how old I was, sexual orientation (though, to be fair, that one was in reference to me talking about how long I had been with my boyfriend), etc.

      1. on the 1s*

        um maybe I’m not understanding your comment, but it is most definitely illegal to ask your age and in certain areas it is also illegal to ask about sexual orientation.

        1. Karo*

          From what I understand, they’re not illegal, just really ill advised because they can’t use the information to make a decision and if they turn you down, you could argue that it was because of your age, etc. Regardless, the lady didn’t ask any of that, I just couldn’t stop rambling about inappropriate topics!

        2. zora*

          Karo is correct, it’s a misunderstanding that the questions are illegal. Acting on protected information is illegal, not the actual asking of the question. But it’s not good to ask the questions, because then it makes it much harder to prove that you did not act on that information once you knew it.

          1. Judy Johnsen*

            I thought Allison had said on this site that an interviewer asking a potential candidate about marriage, do the u plan to have kids, etc was illegal.

      2. Amethyst*

        Same, but only because “tell me about yourself” = me saying something like, “I’m hard of hearing, I know ASL, I’m a hard worker…blah blah blah” which falls in the grey area. I have 15+ years of work experience to back me up as to the kind of employee I’ll be for my prospective employer, & my hearing loss is more of an issue now than it was when I first started working just out of high school. I have a harder time understanding people now than I did a long while back. (It makes for some amusing “What did Amethyst (mis)hear” anecdotes though!) The only time I was actually comfortable talking about it was when I interviewed for a job at my audiologists’ office since they’ve seen me for all my hearing aid/etc. needs for about 2 decades. (They actually brought it up, not me, but again, we’ve known each other for that long that it really wasn’t an issue.)

    9. Entry-level Marcus*

      I did something similar. I was interviewing for basically a dream job and was asked “what accomplishment are you most proud of?” I proceeded talked about how proud I was for maintaining a healthy long term relationship. The interviewers didn’t push back, but they did seem awkward. I obviously did not get the position.

      1. ampersand*

        I feel this. I haven’t been interviewed since having my daughter, but seriously? I’m most proud of getting through the first year of her life with no one dying (literally, me, there were complications, and also I kept the baby alive) or fleeing for the hills. I definitely won’t say that during an interview but I’ll be thinking it.

          1. nym*

            My SIL gantt-charted her pregnancy to plan for all the tasks she had to do to prepare for baby. We laughed, but that nursery was painted and all the furniture assembled a month before she went into labor.

    10. Clueless*

      I did the same thing as a college senior interviewing for my first FT job. It was a phone interview and after a while we got disconnected, so I called back and continued on with my life history. It wasn’t until years later that it dawned on me that the disconnection was not an accident. Oh, and I didn’t get the job – big surprise!

    11. Willis*

      My worst interview is also because of my response to that question. Like you, I interpreted it as them wanting me to tell about myself personally. Only, I wasn’t expecting to have to do that and I literally froze. After an awkward silence I said “Umm, I like to do….stuff” and gave a couple generic examples (read? go to the movies? I don’t remember now).

      It was my first real, professional-type job interview and for some reason it didn’t click in my brain that what he was asking was “tell me about yourself professionally,” which I would’ve been pretty prepared to do. But, it wasn’t for a position I was interested in so I wasn’t disappointed (or surprised) when I didn’t get the job!

      1. Corporate Goth*

        That’s not the worst answer I’ve ever heard to this question, if it helps any.

        That was, “ummmmm….” on repeat for a good 90 seconds. With job-relevant prompts like “Do you like to write? Code? Study foreign languages? Extracurricular activities? Eat pasta?”

        I was so trying to help that poor kid out, but wound up feeling incredibly desperate during *his* interview. The rest of it wasn’t much better.

      1. Teach*

        I teach high school kids, and one of my herd just did a video interview with a very highly selective college. 90 minutes passed and he opened my office door and said, “I did a lot of interview prep and was not expecting the hardest question to be ‘tell me about yourself.’” Good note to self to teach them how to answer that one!

    13. Snarflepants*

      Heh. Who hasn’t bombed this question at some point in their career? No one told me that this question actually ment, “Tell me about yourself from a professional aspect?” There I was at job interviews blathering on about where I was born and what my favourite food was. The interviewer really didn’t need to know about that.

      1. 404UsernameNotFound*

        Yeesh. I can’t even remember if I got asked the dreaded “tell me about yourself” at the interview, but I do remember an impromptu practice interview I had with a relative that was literally just “tell me about yourself, Miss 404”, repeated ad weepium in increasingly irritated tones. Makes me wonder what the poor woman had to go through in her job interviews…

        Thankfully, my real interviewers were much nicer and did not make me cry. I also got to use my preferred spiel in the interview to good effect (which makes me think I was asked some variation of “tell me about yourself”, but I have a memory like a sieve when it comes to everything that isn’t random facts).

    14. Alice*

      You must be really good at the trumpet! My dog runs away when I take out my trombone. I think he’s afraid of how it “gets bigger” when the slide moves.

    15. Elizabeth*

      SAME except the interviewer DIDN’T stop me, and instead gave me mortifyingly harsh (and correct!) feedback about it later. It was an internal interview, and an incredibly good lesson learned, but also, SO SO mortifying.

  5. Snarkus Aurelius*

    I once had a job interview at a very prestigious technical university. Despite not really wanting the job, I was still nervous in the interview.

    None of the nitty gritty details matter except for this one: I was completely, unintentionally full of shit.

    At one point, I was babbling so much even I had no idea what I was talking about, but for some reason I couldn’t stop talking!

    Oh they let me go on and on. No follow up questions and no call back.

    It was for the best!

    1. Krabby*

      Oh man, I did that too! After uni I was desperate and looking for anything. I went to an interview for a call center job at a bank. I was so nervous that I started babbling and said some random stuff about the work I’d done at my last job that was not true (but also not a problematic lie, more like a funny anecdote that never actually happened), but they asked probing questions (probably because it was a dumb and slightly unbelievable story) and I doubled down and made up more unbelievable shit until what I was saying directly contradicted my resume. But I could. Not. Shut. Up! I think my interviewers at that point were internally laughing and just seeing how far they could get me to dig down into the little hole I’d made for myself.

      That said, the job I actually did get (which was the literal worst) is how I got interested in HR, the career I’ve now had for 5 years. There’s always a silver lining.

    2. Emily*

      I had the opposite. I got an interview with a supercool arts nonprofit where I would have loved to work. I was so nervous in the interview that I barely talked at all. Like answering a question about my experience in a particular aspect of the work with, “Oh yes, I have done that lots of times.” … … … awkward silence … The interview was less than 30 minutes and I remember walking to the car just knowing I had totally bombed.

    3. MM*

      “Completely, unintentionally full of shit” is a valuable phrase I will be borrowing for those days when I suddenly lose my mind in a seminar and start babbling inane nonsense.

    4. AVP*

      Augh I had a phone interview like this at a top, top highly respected media brand that I would normally kill to work at. Wires crossed on their job post, and the internal titles they use are a little odd, so I had applied thinking it was relevant and then pretty quickly realized it was not. Think like, I am a teapot fabricator but they wanted a software engineer and I had shadowed an engineer once so I just blathered on about that as if it had been a big part of my job and I knew how to do it. I was just too embarrassed and too far in it to pull out. They did call me in for an in-person interview but I didn’t take it – they must have either been really desperate to fill the position or had a quota to hit!

    5. MissDisplaced*

      I’ve SO done that too. Just kept babbling on without really answering the question.
      I think that happens to me when I’m not really all that enthusiastic about the industry of the place, but go the the interview anyway because I need a job…any job. Desperation!

  6. Relatable Chainsaw Bear*

    When I was in college, I applied for an internship with NPR’s government lobbying division that I was SO psyched for. I was super interested in lobbying for a cause I actually believed in. I made it to the second round, was asked to do a phone interview. However, there was one small hitch – at the time, I didn’t really listen to NPR, I just read it online. A lot of my friends said I should just not be honest about that when asked about my favorite NPR shows, but I knew I couldn’t speak eloquently about any of them, so when that subject did come up in the interview, I was honest and told them I only read the news stories. Needless to say, I did not get the internship.

    1. Minhag*

      Mine is kinda related to your. In business school, I decided I desperately wanted to work for IBM and applied for a summer internship. I got the interview!

      At one point, they asked me about my favorite technology. I completely blanked. I’m a millennial but an intentional laggard on technological trends. I actually get annoyed when people suggest a tech solution to a problem that could be solved in a good-old-fashioned analogue way. I stuttered out an appreciation for whatever technology linked my iPhone to my MacBook Air because it keeps my Notes app up to date. Of course, I had no idea what kind of technology made that possible. Maybe something to do with wifi?

      I did not get the internship. Somehow, it had never occurred to me that a company called International Business Machines would have a technology focus.

      1. Paradise J*

        Why would you be annoyed when someone offers a solution to a problem that you’re seeking a solution for? That sounds a little confrontational.

        Also, IBM is a direct competitor to Apple, so if there was a problem with your answer, it’s probably the fact that you name-dropped three Apple products in one sentence!!

        1. Ace in the Hole*

          Because a lot of times the supposed solution is expensive, inefficient or delicate, and has a lot of bugs. Sometimes technology is great! But sometimes you can solve the problem just fine with methods that have a century of field use demonstrating effectiveness and reliability, and people just want the tech because it’s shiny and they assume it will be better since it’s NEW.

          I think people fall across a spectrum with technophobes at the one end who never want anything new and ultra-early-adopters at the other end who are champing at the bit to hop on the latest new thing. Most of us are somewhere in the middle, with a threshold for adopting new technology set based on how inconvenient the current solution is and how risky/inconvenient we perceive the new tech.

          1. Jennifer Juniper*

            I have panic attacks if the computer freezes, because I always think I broke it, even when I know perfectly well that I didn’t break it.

            And don’t get me started on smart phones. The things break if you look at them wrong, they cost $$$$, and you have to get special cases and phone insurance for them.

            I love my flip phone and my landline.

      2. Gumby*

        Writing. Writing is my favorite technology.

        I also lag a touch on technology trends, on purpose, and it is partially about not needing a new gadget every two seconds and partially that I am a leeeeetle bit of a “loving resistance fighter” a la Neil Postman in Technopoly.

        1. Delta Delta*

          I have been known to say “hammers” to this question. People used sticks and rocks to achieve their goals. But it took thousands of years for people to figure out how to put those things together to make, essentially, hammers. And really, sometimes all you want to do is hit something with a hammer.

    2. Oh No She Di'int*

      I actually don’t think that’s so terrible. There could be all sorts of reasons why a college kid couldn’t or wouldn’t listen to NPR. I would think that the fact that you did read the articles online and did so conscientiously would be enough for interviewers. As to why you didn’t get the internship, who can say? There are a million reasons why people don’t get jobs or internships, including “We already have too many interns from region X” or “We need an intern who is studying Major Y”.

      1. Quill*

        Yeah, I’d say that relying on the *radio* is far more a sign of being behind the times and/or not that invested. I’m assuming this was before the days of podcasts, but after the days that your average college student would rely on a radio for listening to music.

  7. Threeve*

    Left an interview, went to the bathroom, and realized that I’d tucked in the stretchy shirt I was wearing under my blazer a little too firmly and the top of my bra had been showing the whole time.

    2. Third or Nothing!*

      OH NO!!!!! That’s like my worst nightmare. I have large tracts of land and sometimes they take over new territory by dragging down the neckline of my shirt. I have no idea how they do it but I swear I have to pull up my shirt at least once a day lest anyone be accosted by my bright pink nursing bra.

      1. Prof. Kat*

        Bahahaha, A+ Holy Grail reference. “What, the curtains?”gets a lot of playtime as a joke in my family.

        1. Third or Nothing!*

          My husband and I throw A LOT of Monty Python quotes around. His favorites are from the Holy Grail scene with the peasants who run their own democracy. I tend to go for the Spanish Inquisition sketch myself.

    3. DANGER: Gumption Ahead*

      My skirt slipped off as I was being escorted out of the interview. I caught it as it was descending my butt (luckily I had hose on), but had a hella awkward moment of trying to figure out how to get it zipped and shake hands at the same time. Readers, I was not hired

    5. Susan*

      I looked down mid-interview and realized my ankle length skirt had unwrapped, exposing my knee length slip. Thank god for the slip, though – could have been worse!

    6. Environmental Compliance*

      Not at an interview, but my last day of work at a job, I managed to tuck my skirt into my nylons and walked out like that. And of course no one stopped me on my way to my car. *sigh*

  8. LizB*

    Does the time my skirt split down the back seam literally the moment I stepped into their office count?

    1. Hey Karma, Over Here*

      It would have. But I’ve been through the comments and you are probably holding fast in the top 20!

      1. LizB*

        I was extremely lucky in that the lining did not rip, so my butt was covered – but I didn’t know what to do, and was too mortified to mention it to any of the (very nice!) people interviewing, so I just kind of tried to keep my rear end pointed at walls as much as possible, and as soon as there was a chair available I was firmly in it. I did not get the job, but probably for unrelated reasons.

    3. irene adler*

      Yeah.
      So does discovering, during the tour at the end of the interview, that my blouse had been unbuttoned-the part directly over my ample bosom-the entire time. No doubt the interviewer was amused.

      Mortifying.

      Never heard back from them.

        1. Jennifer Juniper*

          They could have been perving on irene adler the whole time. So they didn’t mention it for prurient reasons.

    4. Dankar*

      Ugh, same! I sat down to wait for my interviewers and the top button of my pants pinged off into the office somewhere. I heard it rolling away (old building with original hardwood floors)…

    5. Malarkey01*

      Don’t feel too bad, on the other side of it I was interviewing a man who dropped his pen, reached to get it, and split the ENTIRE seat of his pants (like he basically had chaps after that). He was also a larger man and we ended up getting him 2 blankets to wrap himself with and I and another manager walked behind him to his car to help him conceal it. I have never had more empathy for someone.

      1. Rebecca in Dallas*

        That happened to my husband’s pants… as we were on our way to my grandfather’s wedding. We were out of town, he had only packed those pants and jeans. Luckily my dad had an extra pair of dress pants and they are (close to) the same size.

    6. Peachy*

      Here to commiserate. When I interviewed for an internship, I wore a skirt with a seam in front that ripped a tiny bit as I got out of the car. I had no way to fix it so I just hoped for the best. As I sat down with the interviewer it split all the way up to my underwear. I learned my lesson, and now I only wear things that fit properly and always carry safety pins.

    7. From The High Tower on Capitol Hill*

      So something very similar happened to me once. I had two interviews back to back and my skirt split a little during the first one. By the time I walked to the second one (just a few blocks) that split was at the booty level. Luckily it was winter and I live in the Northern US so I had a knee length parka on. So there I sit, in my second interview of the day, refusing to take off my parka. They asked me probably two or three times if they could take my coat and I just kept saying I was cold. Oddly enough I did get offered both of the jobs, ended up accepting neither.

    9. Person of Interest*

      Been there – ripped open a big chunk of the side seam on my pants as I was walking to their office. I think I sort of held my bag over that side of my body, and when I sat down I arranged my jacket to cover it.

    10. Campfire Raccoon*

      I have had this happen too.

      That’s what happens when you go a long time between needing the interview clothes. Eek.

    11. Lee*

      Oh god, this reminds me of the time my suit pants ripped in the rear, and I didn’t notice till I got home. I have NO idea when it might have happened. My interviewers and others might have seen my underwear.

      To make it even worse and more mortifying… it was uh… what I like to call “shark week” for me (got this phrase after reading a thread online about how a shark brain looks like a uterus and such, you can conclude from there).
      A heavy flow runs in my family, clothing doesn’t escape unscathed.

      Yeah… I didn’t get the job. I still wonder if it happened before or after, what was seen…
      (I tried my best to not be TMI/gross)

      1. Valprehension*

        I always thought it was called shark week because, um, blood? And because of “Shark Week” that used to happen on one of the major cable networks in the 90s. This is a whole new level of info/conections.

        1. Lee*

          Yep, the blood is also a factor and the Shark Week on Discovery channel. It’s like a 3-fold of references, which is why it’s so good.

    12. Shorty Paddleboardy*

      Oh man! Something similar happened to me.
      Not an interview, but back when I taught at a sailing school, my shorts completely ripped up the butt. I was about to teach a paddle boarding class to 15 and 16 year old boys (I wasn’t much older). With barely ten minutes until the class, I went into the office where they sell school logowear. They don’t sell shorts, but they do sell shirts, and they had full torso mannekins on the wall to show them off. That meant the mannekins had to wear cheap shorts. Without a word to the office manager, I undressed a mannekin and went to change in the maintenance shop (no bathrooms). I came back and put my shorts on the mannekin and binder clipped them on the back to stay on, just in time for class.
      For some time after that, the manager had to field customers asking to buy my mannekin shorts. I never gave the original ones back.

    13. Sleepless*

      Ohh, I haven’t thought about this in decades, but I bought a new interview outfit for my first professional job but I didn’t really practice moving around in it. I got in the car to go to the interview and the skirt fell open over one leg almost to crotch level. I had somehow not noticed it was a wraparound skirt. I spent the interview with my notebook firmly clamped on my lap. (And I did get offered the job, but I took a different one. Which I interviewed for, wearing that same skirt. What the hell, I had figured out how to wrangle it by then.)

  9. CatCat*

    One of my very first job interviews of my life was in my late teens at an office supply store. The manager asked me the standard “why I was interested in the job” question. This is really the kind of question one should anticipate and think about in advance. But I had nothing. Unable to think of anything else, I stammered, “I… just… like… …. …. … office supplies.” Silence. That was it. Interview performance did not improve. Didn’t get the job, LOL.

    1. LizB*

      Your transcription of your answer is making me laugh out loud. (I do actually like office supplies quite a bit!) But also, that question is such an annoying question in retail jobs, where probably most applicants are interested in the job because they need money to, like, live and stuff. Few people are really just so so passionate about toner and binders that they’d give anything to work part time at office max.

      1. Phony Genius*

        If I was the manager at Office Max, and you came in showing extreme passion for toner and binders, I probably wouldn’t hire you. I’d be worried that you might be some kind of weirdo who will defile the merchandise after hours.

          1. Third or Nothing!*

            I would love to be able to leave the George Takei “oh my” gif here. So just envision him saying it in your head, I guess.

        5. That Girl from Quinn's House*

          *insert gif of Liz Lemon with paperclips being sensually poured over her head*

        6. Junior Assistant Peon*

          This is exactly why my buddy’s wife was rejected for a job at a winery tasting room. They correctly deduced that someone a little too interested in working around booze would be a problem employee!

      2. boop the first*

        Yeah, they seriously need to ban that question for certain types of work. I mean… I get that there’s a reason I would choose that specific place, but it’s not going to be a thrilling answer regardless.

        1. CynicallySweet*

          Right? I got asked why I wanted to work for Subway once, and all I could think of was “I need gas money”

        2. Perpal*

          Curious what managers at those places like to hear. Are they actually looking for some kind of honest answer to figure out how to accommodate? Ie, “i want a summer job to save up for a car” is different than “hoping for something low stress that pays the bills for at least the next few years” vs “I was just divorced and trying to reenter the workforce” etc. IDK, maybe there is a reasonable explanation out there!

          1. Oh No She Di'int*

            So I’ve never hired at an office supply store, but if I did, I’d be looking for something like this: “I’m just starting out in the workforce and I’m looking for an opportunity to begin building my customer service skills. One day I’d like to be an XYZ, so I think it’s a good idea to learn how to speak to customers and meet their needs. I’m really eager to do a good job with that so that I develop the skills to prepare me for the rest of my career.”

            Or perhaps: “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the workforce. But one aspect that I always did enjoy was creating systems to keep things organized. With all the inventory in a store like this, I’m guessing that there are lots of systems that have to be followed to keep things in good working order. I enjoy following those kinds of systems and finding opportunities to implement new ones that might have been overlooked in the past.”

            Above all it should be truthful. You don’t have to say that you’ve had a lifelong passion for office supplies, but surely there is some aspect of the job you think would be a match for your skills and that would benefit both the business and you. Otherwise–honestly–why should they give you a job?

            But again, I am not a manager at an office supply store or anything like it. So I could be off base.

          2. That Girl from Quinn's House*

            I’ve hired entry level teenagers, and some of them would struggle with that question. I used to clarify, “OK, well, what made you apply here, instead of somewhere else?” Sometimes they wouldn’t get it and they’d say, “Well I can walk here and I don’t have a car,” and I’d say, “OK, there are three fast food restaurants, two gas stations, and a big box store on the next block, why did you apply here instead of over there?” Usually, this would get me the answer I needed to fill out the Mandatory Standardized Interview Form.

            The kids I supervised, I’d remind them when the topic came up in trainings, that they need to have a quick sentence explaining that because they’ll hear the question often through their working years.

            1. Oh No She Di'int*

              This response makes me realize I’d probably accept a much less “professional” answer from a teenager in an entry-level position. Something like: “The atmosphere seems really friendly here and it seems like I’d get along with the people I’ve seen here before”. That might be enough.

            2. Iris Eyes*

              Yet the answer is probably that they have applied at all of those places. Or have worked at some.

              1. 1234*

                I was just going to make the same comment, or they’d say “Well, the gas station is only hiring for overnight hours and I don’t want to be at work at midnight.”

          3. Rebecca in Dallas*

            When I was a manager at a department store, I liked to hear that they shopped at the particular store and enjoyed their experience. I know why they want *a* job, but why did they choose to apply at this particular store?

    3. A Simple Narwhal*

      Ugh I hate that question, especially for retail or very entry-level grunt positions. You can practically hear your own soul dying as you smile and try to say some convincing nonsense about how you’re totally super jazzed at the idea of stocking shelves or handling abusive customers for minimum wage.

      1. same*

        Ha, this, too! So many internal monologues of um… well, I like money, and am willing to trade labor for it?

        Having appreciation? Sure. But “passion” for dealing with people’s craptastic treatment, minimum wage and no benefits? Sorry, no.

      2. Seeking Second Childhood*

        My college summer retail job, I freely admitted I was looking for a job that did NOT involve hot grease…. although yes I also had some interest in their product.

    4. AnotherAlison*

      When I was a kid, there was a store called Organization Plus next to the movie theater. I went in there whenever I could. They had bins of fancy markers by color, cute desk organizers, and other assorted great things. I would have loved to have worked there. But, that store has not existed for decades. The Office Depots or Office Max stores near me are the most dirty and depressing stores, on level with the few remaining Sears and Kmarts. The only answer to why someone would want to work there would be a need for a job.

      1. Mary Richards*

        I love little stores like that! And the answer to “why do you want to work here?” for something like that HAS to be “because I love what you sell!”

      2. Iris Eyes*

        As someone who has watched people try to hire people to work at aforementioned stores I can confirm. Their Reddit is pretty entertaining this week since they are trying to keep a 5% retail workforce reduction underwraps.

      3. Lepidoptera*

        There’s a store called Solutions that does the same thing in Canada.
        Not sure it’s in the US too.

    5. Dust Bunny*

      I sorta did this at the interview for my awful job at a water park. They asked all the usual leading questions about “who is the most important person at Water Park?”, etc., and instead of saying, “The customers!” I had to think about it.

      They hired me anyway because the work was terrible and they needed bodies, but the was nothing particular in my interview to recommend me.

      1. Anonomoose*

        I’m picturing a “is it…me?” response, and may be laughing a little too hard at your pain..

        1. Dust Bunny*

          . . . “employees” was one of my various answers. My indecision alone should have warned them off.

          (I was a good employee, but the interview was a doozy.)

    6. Lindsay*

      I just skimmed your comment and missed that it was at an office supply store on first read. That would be an AMAZINGly embarrassing answer for any regular office job!!

      1. Onion Rings*

        I currently work at a print center. One of my former coworkers was interviewing for a slight promotion, but was told he lacked passion. Verbatim: “it seems like you’re only in this for the paycheck.” I have wondered ever since what the correct response was. “I would do it for free! I just love faxing!”

    7. PugLife*

      Oh man. in high school I was an art kid and called myself a poet and senior year I applied for a job at Staples. During the interview I gushed about how much I loved pens. Got the job. It took me a few years to realize that the manager just wanted to sleep with me. That job was messed up.

    8. Elitist Semicolon*

      About a year ago I had a phone interview for a position at another organization that was almost 100% identical to the one I have now. About two minutes in, a truck backed up into my driveway and about 4 men, most shirtless, jumped out of the back and started milling around my garage. I trailed off into nothing as I watched this, and then I said to the interviewers, “I”m sorry; I’m going to have to call you back. A truck has just pulled up and there are workmen on my property and I don’t know why they’re here.” The committee chair responded, “Well, we’re on a tight timeline and we have another interview scheduled for this afternoon.” At which point I looked outside and saw one of them open my garage door and go in, so I said, “I’m sorry. Five minutes – please? I really can’t let workmen I don’t know and wasn’t expecting be on my property.” The search chair huffed and said, “Fine.” I hung up and went outside to see WTF was going on. When I called back, the first question they asked me was, “How did you prepare for this interview?” Because I was doing the exact same job, I tried for some levity by saying, “Well, I went to work this morning and did my job!” SILENCE from the committee. I tried to back up and say, “I also looked into X, Y, and Z that your org is known for,” but apparently it was too late. I didn’t get a second interview and they didn’t bother rejecting me – not even via automated email generated by HR.

      (Turns out the workmen were from a company I’d hired to remove some insulation from the garage, showing up at 1:30 on a Tuesday instead of 4:00 on Friday as we’d scheduled. They were “in the area” and called their manager to see if it was okay for them to come; he emailed me (which didn’t see until after they’d come and gone) and then lied and said he’d talked to me and I’d given permission. The entire thing was a complete surprise – the only reason I was home to begin with was that I took the afternoon off so I wasn’t taking an interview call while at work – and worst of it was, not only did they completely blow the interview for me, but they did absolutely $hit work too. Nasty review on Yelp and the BBB website from me.)

      1. Elitist Semicolon*

        UGH sorry – that was supposed to be its own thread, not a response. Apparently I do not understand how commenting works.

        1. Funfetti*

          Sounds like you dodged a bullet that they were not flexible about a potentially unsafe situation happening at your house. And that they didn’t get your joke basically that you’re doing the same deal. But still annoying – I’m sorry.

          1. Elitist Semicolon*

            I know, right? Like, do they really think “sorry, we’re on a schedule” outweighs “there are random men at my house this very second” in urgency? Ugh.

            But you’re right. Bullet dodged.

    9. TootsNYC*

      I hire people for a slightly specialized niche. I ask people, “What do you like about our field?”

      I could see someone saying, “What do you like about retail?” in order to get you talking about it.

    10. Quill*

      At 19 I turned up in July for a part time opening at coach to get their application form with an obvious limp, decent shorts and a t-shirt, no makeup, and my natural hair on an 80 degree day with 80% humidity. I was not going for an interview, just because I had to fill out the application in person, yet after making me stand on my obvious limp for twenty minutes to fill out the whole form, the manager handed the thing back and said “you just don’t fit the company image.”

      Me, pissed: “Is that even a legal hiring criteria?”

      Manager, condescendingly, “Our sales associates promote the company image with their appearance and attire, and by aggressively pursuing sales for their commissions -”

      Me, even more pissed because COMMISSION had not been mentioned in the ad “Wow, you suck.”

      (Exit Quill, limping to stage left.)

    11. Amber T*

      Haven’t interviewed for a while but I remember never knowing how to answer why I was interested in the job. Right out of college, I had a phone interview with an HR department (can’t even remember the company) about an entry level accounts payable job. At that point, my eventual goal was to get into professional development, so I was applying to any entry level HR position I could. I had no idea how to answer… like, I want a career in HR, but in a completely different section, so I’m just applying to what I can?

      Didn’t get called for another interview.

    13. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

      I once answered that question (also in retail) with “you need people to do the job and I need the money”. (I was offered the job ahead of apparently more than 100 other applicants, and excelled at it!) The manager appreciated my no-bs, straight up attitude (and thus it was all the time I worked there, and he was sad to eventually see me leave.)

    14. Curmudgeon in California*

      I swear, some days I feel like giving a slightly snarky answer to that “Because I like paying my bills and it fits my skills.”

      Some of the supercilious jerks make me want to say “Because it pays more than signing on a street corner”, but I manage to hold it in.

    15. Gatomon*

      Ahh! Once I interviewed at a call center during college, and all I wanted out of that job was the health benefits, so… that was what I told them. I had no interest in the product or the work and just couldn’t fake it, even though they gave me multiple options to try a better answer.

      Naturally, I didn’t get hired. I remember being so embarrassed and confused at the time. The place had a reputation of hiring any warm, college-aged body so I really felt like I had done something horribly wrong to not land it. It just took me years to realize what exactly I’d done to screw that up….

  10. queen b*

    I don’t know if this is strictly “terrible” but I was certainly embarrassed!!! I was interviewing for an internship in college at a big fortune 500 company. I was also horribly sick. Runny nose, cough, the whole nine yards. But, I got dressed in my little suit and my padfolio and loudly proclaimed to the interviewer who came and got me that I was sick and I didn’t want to shake their hands.

    It was 2 panel interviews and in the middle of the second one I started coughing uncontrollably. The poor interviewer offered to get me water to help ease the cough, because I was inexperienced and forgot to bring my own water bottle, lol. I’m sure I didn’t even have good answers to the questions because I was trying so hard not to keep coughing.

    You know that part in Parks and Rec where Chris Traeger goes “STOP. POOPING.” – that was me with trying to stop my cough. Lesson learned, reschedule the interview if you can barely talk without hacking up a lung.

    1. Third or Nothing!*

      I would have totally done the same thing when I was a college kid. It would have never occurred to me to reschedule because I felt like I had no power whatsoever – and of course one NEVER asks anything of interviewers or bosses because that’s entitlement. Oof.

    2. Hats Are Great*

      I once did a phone interview when I had pneumonia. Coughed like crazy through the entire thing, it was awful.

      Eventually did get the job, tho.

    3. Kiwipinball*

      I tried to reschedule an interview once because I was sick. They wouldn’t let me. In their defense, they were having massive interviews (they needed to hire maybe 100 people for the summer, so were interviewing a LOT of students). I was having horrible stomach cramps and needing the bathroom frequently. I went, figuring worst case I’d have to leave and I’d be no worse off than if I skipped the interview completely. Thankfully my stomach had settled down some and I made it through, and I got the job. It’s not easy to reschedule intereviews.

    4. MCL*

      I was a finalist and flew out to another state for my interview. Academic library interviews trend toward being very long, and I had dinner with some hiring committee members the night before my full-day interview/tour/presentation the next day. This was at a tiny private college in the rural Midwest, and while I was eating dinner I realized I was starting to come down with something. The next day I woke to realize I had a full blown cold. I scuttled across the street to the one store in town, bought a bottle of DayQuil and some antihistamines, and powered through. It sucked so. much. This was in the beginning of 2009, I had just finished my master’s program, and the economy was in a tailspin. I was desperate for any job in my field. I didn’t get the job, but I ended up getting a different job later that year, which I still have.

    5. Bear Shark*

      I have a similar story from an interview for an internship. I didn’t even think to ask to reschedule when I came down with a terrible cold the day before the interview. Showed up in my interview outfit with a pocket full of tissues trying to discreetly wipe my nose but a pocket stuffed fully of snotty tissues is not at all discreet. Sounded like a complete airhead because cold medicine makes me loopy. Everything I’d learned from work and school up to that point was that if you weren’t throwing up or have a fever you better get yourself to work/school and suck it up because otherwise you were a slacker playing hooky and didn’t deserve the opportunity.

    6. Elizabeth West*

      I had an interview where I was sick (and refused to shake hands). I wasn’t at death’s door or hacking up a lung, but I was just sick enough so I wasn’t nervous. This also happened to me before a skating show once. I was so high on cold medicine I didn’t give a rip who was watching me.

      Part of me thinks this is a feature, not a bug.

      1. Extremely anon for this*

        In high school I once sang a solo in a concert where I was miraculously able to hit a really high note (the third E-flat above middle C) not in spite of but *because of* the cold messing up my voice. It killed my low range, but somehow managed to temporarily extend my high range.

        Though after high school, I always sang alto….

      2. Gatomon*

        I did really well on my ACT in high school because I was completely wrecked on Sudafed + Benadryl to stop the coughing and runny nose. I scored way higher than I expected and decided it wasn’t worth trying again while healthy.

    7. Pobody’s Nerfect*

      And we wonder why flu reaches epidemic proportions in worse and worse numbers every year…it’s all the sick people who won’t stay home but instead go to job interviews!

      1. Case of the Mondays*

        Here’s the thing. We all have bills to pay. I was sworn into the bar sick enough I should have stayed home. That’s because when I contacted them about rescheduling it was going to be 6 months out or so. I needed a job to keep a roof over my head and pay my student loans. My law firm needed an attorney admitted to practice law. Not sure they would have kept me around for 6 months without it. I sucked it up and got sworn in and then went right back home to bed. Ugh.

      2. Valprehension*

        …I think you mean “it’s the complete lack of social supports, paid sick leave, etc in our society that leaves people with no choice but to desperately hope for the best and interview for jobs while sick.”

        2. DrRat*

          ***STANDING OVATION***

          When your choices are 1) go to a job interview when ill or potentially 2) get evicted/have your car repossessed/have your power turned off/watch your kids go without food, most people are going to choose the former.

        3. Dr Wizard, PhD*

          Yup. I was sick enough last year that HR told my manager to have an official ‘informal conversation’ with me about it.

          What’s the goal here? Intimidate me into being sick less often? Or guilt me into coming to work while sick anyway?

    8. Lynn Whitehat*

      Oh God. I once went to a half-day job interview with a fever of 102. I thought I would look like a total flake if I called in sick before I even had the job. That was the first year my older son was in daycare, and if I waited to be 100% healthy to do anything, I never would have left the house. But I overshot the mark that time. The interviewers tried to hint to me a couple of times that “it’s a ~demanding~ position that requires an ~energetic~ person”, but I couldn’t rally.

    9. Fikly*

      I had my final interview scheduled and had just come down with the flu. I really wanted the job, and got anxious that if we rescheduled it would be too late, because I knew they were wanting to make a decision soon at that point (they needed to fill the role before a major launch), and it takes me a while to get over the flu.

      They were kind enough to offer to switch from an in-person interview to Skype. I started off the interview by apologizing to VP that I might appear more low energy than normal because I was on day 2 of the flu.

      I got the job! But wow was I so upset about the timing in the moment.

  11. MissGirl*

    I interviewed with a recruiter from a company I was very intrigued by. I had applied to Position A, but he asked if I would be interested in interviewing with the hiring manager for Position B. B seemed a greater fit for my skills, where A was a stretch. I agreed to meet with Jane, the manager.

    The only way I could describe my meeting with Jane was oddly adversarial. She stood me up for the first call. The second call began with her demanding to know why I was interviewing for B

    1. MissGirl*

      Sorry, the above submitted while I was still typing.

      Continued— when it was such a different job from A. It threw me off and I started rambling. I did try to explain the recruiter forwarded me on. Then I mentioned I was excited to work for a company that wasn’t a start up but has the feel of one. (Ten-year company that just went public.) She got offended and said it she considered them a start-up.

      Then I started asking way too many questions for this stage and rambled, not letting her talk as much as I should’ve. I blame nerves.

      I didn’t send a thank you that evening (Friday) because I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to move forward. I got rejected Saturday morning first thing.

      While I definitely didn’t want to work for her, I was still interested in the company. However, my next two applications, over a year, we’re rejected in minutes, making me think I’m on a no hire list.

      Luckily for me I landed an awesome position at another company that’s doing much better post IPO.

        1. MissGirl*

          Yes, but I learned under pressure I crumple. I know I came off poorly and lost my chance at another position in that company.

          It was good practice, however, for my next interviews. I held up better where I now have a job.

          1. Dasein9*

            Oh, one bad interview does not a character trait make.

            Glad you got a better position in the long run!

      2. TheForeigner*

        I once found my self in an interview with the hiring manager and the recruiter. The first 30 minutes went extremely weird. The hiring manager kept asking about my qualifications, my motivation to apply for this position in his department, etc. And I kept answering how my experience, education, ambition, etc. were such a great fit – but I couldn’t shake the impression that something was off.
        Well, after 30 minutes the recruiter chimes in and says: “huh, I forgot to mention that you are not interviewing for the position you applied for. I matched you with a different opening, I thought would fit.” Both the hiring manager and I were surprised. The hiring manager had not known about this “detail” and was rightfully curious why I applied to a position that was not a good fit. And I cannot blame them, I would not have applied for that position myself.
        We talked for maybe 30 minutes more, but never really recovered. I was not upset to not hear back from them.

        1. LiveLaughLurk*

          One of the temp agencies we used to work with did this thing where they would copy applicants’ resumes, paste them into Word, and then send them to us that way as a way of stripping the applicants’ personal info. They didn’t fix the spacing or change the font or anything, just saved these now-three-page-long documents over to us. They did not mention this to us at any point, so we spent the first several interviews being pretty judgey about these terribly crafted resumes that were being submitted for a position that involved a lot of work in MS Office. Finally, one of the applicants saw our copy of her resume and was horrified. She pulled out her own copy, which was neat and well-formatted and one page and we finally all figured out what was going on. It was a total failure by the temp agency to make a good impression with any of their candidates and we made sure to send them a firmly worded email about it after that interview.

          (Honestly, none of the people who interviewed before the girl who helped us figure out what was wrong would have been a good fit, and while the girl ALSO wasn’t a good fit, she ended up getting a temp job with another department with a strong endorsement from us and was eventually brought on as permanent staff.)

          1. Chaordic One*

            When I worked in H.R., for certain positions my employer wanted applicants to submit their qualifications in a spreadsheet format, which they did. The job didn’t involve paperwork or working with computers or spreadsheets and, for the most part, the spreadsheets were pretty much unformatted. It never occurred to the vast majority of applicants that the spreadsheet might be printed out.

            Then the hiring committee wanted me to print out the spread sheets and they printed out as a disorganized bunch of data. After they saw the spread sheets a new task added to my already heavy workload and that was to format the spread sheets before I printed them out, which was a tedious annoying part of the job that I do not miss.

            1. Ginger Peachy*

              My first interview out of college I was so nervous my glasses fogged up. I tried to casually take them off, but that meant I couldn’t see the expressions on the faces of the four people interviewing me. And then they slid a piece a paper across the table, asked me to read it over and share my thoughts. I had to put the foggy glasses back on. I was so embarrassed! All that was missing was a piece of electrical tape on the bridge! I did get the job, though.

    2. Lynn Whitehat*

      I’m a software developer. I was once recommended for a job that was supposed to be a software developer who you can put in front of customers in a pinch. But at some point, they changed their minds and decided they wanted the converse–a salesperson who understands a little about computers. No one thought of taking me off the list at that point? Or maybe they felt like they had to interview me because one of their employees recommended me? Anyway, it was a long, adversarial, degrading encounter where they just couldn’t *believe* I would waste their time when I haven’t done any sales since Girl Scouts and don’t want to.

    3. Fikly*

      That reminds me of a series of interviews for a job I applied for after being invited to apply by HR (they reached out to me spontaneously). Every single interviewer asked me how I found out about the position. Because…your HR person emailed me about it?

  12. Sharkie*

    I don’t have any but I have a pretty embarrassing Interviewer bomb. My interviewer for a phone interview was looking at the wrong resume for the entire interview then accused me of lying on my resume. Only after I told her I was Sharkie Smith that she realized she was looking at Sharkie Jones’s resume. She offered me the job out of embarrassment and I accepted the offer (I was fresh out of school and depressed and needed a job). That job was a nightmare.

    1. MusicWithRocksInIt*

      The owner of the company I was interviewing for stood up in the middle of my interview and announced he needed to go pass a kidney stone and left the room. I doubt he was embarrassed at all, but the manager who was interviewing me sure was. I was offered, and took the job because I was straight out of college, but man there were so many issues with that place.

          1. Amy Sly*

            I’m just going to say as someone currently trying to get one to pass … that I’m bloody impressed he could be that blasé about it. Good lord this thing hurts, and it’s not even passed through the pipes yet!

    2. SomebodyElse*

      I’ve done that as an interviewer… so embarrassed. I was really confused why the candidates answers weren’t really fitting the resume experience. But I continued to make notes… ask questions… etc. Finally I asked one that was very specific “Ok, I just want to talk a little about your role at Spacely Space Sprockets” He paused “Um, no sorry I’ve never worked there, I did work at Cogswell Cogs, though”… that’s when it dawned on me that I had pulled the wrong resume!

      I did fess up to the candidate though, because I’m sure some of my questions seemed totally out there and I didn’t want him walking away thinking he bombed the interview. Poor guy. He laughed about it though, and most of my questions to that point were non-resume specific. He didn’t get the job, but it wasn’t because of my error.

      1. ashie*

        I once rejected a teenage applicant because he failed his drug screen. Poor kid was so confused. Turns out there was some other guy with the same name who failed a few years back and I hadn’t bothered to look at the date. Oops. (We did hire him and he eventually left to join the Coast Guard. We’re really proud of him.)

        1. MeTwoToo*

          We also rejected a young man who failed his drug screen. He came in and argued that it was prescription and he could give us a copy of the prescription. It was and he did. His girlfriends prescription. We work at a med facility.

      2. Sally*

        How “SomebodyElse” responded is what you’d expect (confusion then apology). An interviewer accusing an applicant of lying! That’s a red flag all by itself.

      3. Toads, Beetles, Bats*

        Fessing up graciously was totally the right thing to do. My now-husband was once in a job interview where they’d been chatting for several minutes before it was revealed that the interviewer (Esteemed Doctor at Public University) had been looking at the wrong resume the whole time. EDPU glared at my husband, said “why didn’t you correct me!” and immediately showed him the door.

    3. Creed Bratton*

      My story is nothing compared to what I’ve read so far but once I did space out on the application while writing out MY OWN NAME. Store manager had to ask me if my middle name was indeed “Middle” (as in Jane Middle Doe).
      My middle name does start with an M but I was 16 and all nervous while filling out the application on site. I did get the job :)

      3. Lucia*

        I did something like this on one of the first job applications I filled out as a teenager. I was job hunting with a friend. We filled out applications in the store, and the manager took us right back to interview. I had written my last name in the correct box, but also in the ‘first name’ box. I didn’t get the job. My friend did.

  13. Basement designer*

    I got interviewed at my dream office. As part of the process, I bought along my portfolio, which featured my design work, including illustrations I did for a recent presentation. The boss was really impressed with the illustrations, and asked me to bring more next time.
    I was really happy to get into the second round of interview. Everybody said I was so going to get this job, and that the second round was often a formality. So I went to the interview, and bought along more illustrations. More exactly, fanart. (I felt a lot of my more “work-related” illustrations were very generic and almost powerpoint clip art like, and felt my fanart showed more passion and range).
    I didn’t get the job, and to this day, wondered if it was because I showed the wrong illustrations.

    1. MissGirl*

      I was told if you get a second interview, you’re practically guaranteed a job. Since I did get a job on my second interview for my first career job, I took it as gospel. Sadly, I assured a few friends they must be getting a job when they went on to get rejected. Job Myth #1.

      PS I totally want to see your portfolio.

      1. BugSwallowersAnonymous*

        I once got a interview for a job that I felt was a big stretch for me as a recent college grad, so I wasn’t nervous and did well in the first interview because I figured I wouldn’t get it anyway. But then they called me for a second interview, and nerves got the better of me. I didn’t really know how to prepare for a second interview, and I kind of tanked it.

      2. Oh No She Di'int*

        Oh dear lord, no. I think it’s irresponsible for someone to have told you that you’re practically guaranteed a job if you get a second interview. I have been involved in dozens (maybe nearing a hundred?) hiring processes throughout my career, and we almost always have at least 2 candidates make it to the 2nd interview stage for any given position. That means your chances at that point are 50/50 at best.

      3. Chaordic One*

        In a related school of thought, I once applied for a federal job where I received an invitation to be fingerprinted for a background check and photographed for an I.D. badge which I was told practically guaranteed a job. So I showed up at the security office and was fingerprinted and photographed and then… nothing. I was ghosted. (And I don’t have a criminal background and have never been arrested.)

        Friends who work at the agency all thought it was very weird. Six months later I received a generic “thank- you for applying” email with no mention of being fingerprinted and photographed, although it did invite me to apply for jobs with the agency in the future. Eventually I ran into one other person to whom the same thing had happened.

        My unconfirmed theory is that agency processed more applications than they had openings on the theory that not everyone would pass the background check. I was qualified for the job, but I think the agency ended up hiring a more qualified applicant and I was just sort of backup candidate.

        In recent months, the gossip from the friends who work at the agency is that the agency has been having trouble finding enough qualified applicants for their jobs.

        1. Vumblevee*

          My old boss did this. Her reasoning was that the fingerprinting and background checks took so long, she might as well put everyone remotely promising through it to minimize the wait time once she’d picked someone she liked.

      1. Lily in NYC*

        Art that would have nothing to do with a job – like illustrations of someone’s favorite comic book character.

    4. General von Klinkerhoffen*

      I wonder if they were worried about your understanding of copyright. Fan art (and fan fiction etc) is a tricky area for IP and they might have been wary that you would directly lift someone else’s material in other work and not realise it was not ok.

  14. AW*

    For years I ran a small circus company. We did auditions at a circus school, during the last week of their semester. A young woman went up in the aerial silks, got tangled in her very first move and could not get out. Her teacher stood on my shoulders and cut her out of her shirt with scissors. She finished the routine in her bra and tights.

    1. bdg*

      I thought this was going to be a chocolate teapot situation, but I think now it’s literally a circus company!

    3. LKW*

      That is an immensely cool job.

      I think having to be cut out of your clothing and leaving in bra and tights is a clear winner for worst interview. Especially as there is no ambulance or medical reason losing one’s clothing – just “not as skilled at aerial performing”.

    4. Sharrbe*

      You know, I may not have hired her, but I would have commended her for finishing. Or maybe I would have hired her if she really did do a good job? Because perseverence and the ability to withstand uncomfortable situations are pretty awesome qualities to have.

      1. AW*

        We hired her! She made jokes and kept her cool, and the whole time she was thinking “I’m bombing this” and we were thinking “she’s great under pressure.” Now she is the head of the circus school we met her at.

        3. CynicallySweet*

          This is an absolutely phenomenal ending. I can’t image you could do aerial work and be bad under pressure, but to be physically stuck and keep your cool? Seriously impressive

        4. LKW*

          OMG – it gets even better. She can now tell potential applicants the worst interview ever was her.

          1. Adric*

            Except she got the job. I’m pretty sure any interview that gets you hired is not “the worst ever”.

            1. Damien*

              It would certainly be MY worst interview if i had to finish it with my bits on show, even if i got the job.

    6. Lurking Trapeze Instructor*

      I usually lurk here, but I also am a flying trapeze instructor. Definitely endorsing the AMA. Circus people have great stories.

      1. Not So NewReader*

        Alison, you have two people here saying their job IS a circus. And they really mean it.

        Let us know when to make the popcorn, this is gonna be good.

  15. unfortunate*

    I tend to have bowel movements when I’m nervous. My first round of interviews out of grad school, I took care to always poop before the interview. But I really, REALLY had to go again while I was sitting in the reception area waiting for my interview to start. I do one of the most horrific poops of my whole life. There is no ventilation, air freshener, or anything in the bathroom that can make it better. I return to the reception area, and the receptionist immediately goes into the bathroom herself. She comes out and says, “my god, it smells like an outhouse in there!” She proceeds to call maintenance because the smell is so bad and she’s worried the plumbing is busted. Sitting feet away from her this whole time, I beg the floor to swallow me whole.

    1. AndersonDarling*

      I had to squeeze my face too keep myself from laughing uncontrollably at my desk while reading that!

    2. Snoop*

      ah yes. The interview sh*ts. I may or may not have had a ‘that is not a fart’ situation right on the way to an interview. I was early, thankfully, so I went into a McDonalds, threw away the undies, and went camando with just pantyhose over for that interview.

      1. Arabella Flynn*

        That’s… actually what pantyhose is for. That’s why they have a small cotton gusset in the crotch. It’s what differentiates them from tights. You’re not meant to wear anything under them, for better or for worse. There was a slew of advertising in the 70s pointing out that if you wore them under trousers instead of underwear and trouser socks, you wouldn’t have any panty lines showing.

          1. Commandoalldayeveryday*

            I have never commented before…but this is important…WHO THE HELL WEARS PANTIES WITH PANTYHOSE?????????

              1. Pomona Sprout*

                I can’t even remember the last time I wore pantyhose, but I know I always wore them with panties. I did know the panties were optional (or at became aware of that at some point, but for some reason, I never opted to leave them off.

              1. ampersand*

                Right?!

                As an aside: this is so funny! I didn’t realize there were separate camps on this issue…

            3. Valprehension*

              Tall people. Underwear *over* pantyhose/tights is sometimes the only way to avoid awkward crotch gap (where the crotch of the tights/hose falls several inches below your actual crotch.)

              1. heatherbelles*

                Ah, the safety knickers, I know those well. (opposite problem for me – short, but big hipped – so similar outcome).

                However, I recently discovered a company that actually does a range of sizes – height and width. They are a revelation, and so comfy.

                I had a number of interviews last year (didn’t get the jobs, but beside the point), and not worry about the tights staying put was a joy…

                1. heatherbelles*

                  Safety knickers or the company that makes them? Snag Tights is the company, if I’m allowed to say here (new to following the blog, so not quite sure…)

                  They do all the normal colours – and funky ones.

                  But prior to that, yes safety knickers allllll the way.

          2. Rebecca in Dallas*

            There are two distinct schools of thought on this. I rarely wear pantyhose/tights, but I always wear underwear underneath. BUT I don’t wash the pantyhose/tights every time I wear them, so that’s my reasoning.

        2. londonedit*

          Confused British person here who always assumed ‘pantyhose’ was just American for ‘tights’. What the heck are tights in America, then??

          1. Jemima Bond*

            Oh god me too! We need definitions. Possibly links to products for sale that we can view.
            What I would call tights, that is, nylon or Lycra hosiery that goes from your toes to your waist, might very occasionally have a small cottony section in the gusset but not enough to, er, do the job of pants (by which of course I mean knickers, panties, underwear, smalls). I’d never wear them without knickers owing to, well, the unpleasant experience of thin tight shiny nylon against the ladygarden.

          2. ampersand*

            Tights: Usually a thicker material, come in different colors and sometimes has patterns/designs, worn in winter usually because they’re warmer. Not see through. Wear for fun and warmth!

            Pantyhose: Made of nylon, less thick than tights, come in nude-ish colors (or colors that more match your skin tone than tights). See through, often. Bane of many a woman’s existence. Wear because it’s expected!

      1. Goodbye Toby*

        Oh I just remembered the time I basically peed my pants on the way to an out of town interview, stopped at a CVS to clean up, and also threw away the underwear, and went pantyhose only. It was a job at a court. I had repressed this until now…eek.

    5. Yorick*

      I always have this problem too. I had to do the first phone interview for my current job while on the toilet.

    6. Dust Bunny*

      It wasn’t an interview, but I have a nervous bladder. I had a particularly sensitive doctor’s appointment one day and intentionally did not chug my usual amount of water in the morning for fear I’d pee reflexively at the worst possible moment.

      Ended up getting mildly dehydrated, fainting on the exam table, and having to reschedule.

      1. Beatrice*

        I recently accidentally commented on a coworker’s accidental fart. I normally wouldn’t have said anything, but the plumbing in the building had malfunctioned just a couple of days ago, and I said something like, “oh no, it reeks again, we must have had another overflow!” And then caught a look at the mortification on her face and realized. I feel bad, but all I could do is stop and change the subject.

      2. HB*

        I would almost bet money she said it because she assumed the bathroom it smelled like that before unfortunate went into the bathroom and it was her way of semi-apologizing to them.

        1. Oh No She Di'int*

          That’s my take. The receptionist herself was embarrassed, probably thinking, “Oh that poor interviewee had to go in there with it smelling like that.”

    8. tcro*

      pro tip – even though the sound of multiple flushes is a little awkward, 2 or 3 flushes can help get rid of lingering stink.

    9. LCH*

      maybe she was embarrassed that the bathroom smelled bad and a guest had just used it. like, she didn’t know you did it. she was trying to cover. although i guess she could have said to you, omg, so sorry our bathroom has a problem!

    10. Shhhh*

      One of my professors in grad school told us a story about a candidate she had once interviewed that had a digestive situation in the middle of his job talk…

      On a slightly different note, I’ve had two interviews now (years apart) on particularly heavy days of my cycle. Nothing disastrous happened, but I was really self-conscious about it.

    11. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

      You could have agreed with her like “ohhh no I noticed that too, ugh” ;-) (I’m assuming she said it to you!)

    12. Curmudgeon in California*

      I have IBS-D. One of the things that triggers it is stress. I have to make sure that I don’t eat anything that can add to the stress on interview days. I also wear “granny pads” because of stress-based incontinence. All day interviews really push my envelope.

  16. A ducking disaster*

    I was once headhunted for a senior job in my Prime Minister’s office. It would have been a HUGE step up, and they were all ready to hire me…

    I went in to meet my future boss, and it was like I was possessed by a Potty-Mouth Demon. I don’t normally swear! Pretty much every answer I gave to her questions included a swear word:

    “Tell me about a recent challenge you’ve had at work.”
    “This project I inherited was a ducking disaster! I thought to myself, ‘what the duck am I going to do?! Oh dear, for some reason I can’t stop saying duck. I am so ducking sorry!!”

    …I did not get the job.

    2. Alexander Graham Yell*

      I’m picturing Natalie from Love Actually. “I did have an awful premonition I was going to duck up on my first day!”

  17. cmdrspacebabe*

    I once made it through an entire interview….. before realizing I was in the wrong interview, for a completely different job, with a completely different company that wasn’t even in the same industry.

    My university’s co-op program did interviews on-site, and I had 2 in a row. Interviewer #2 – for the job I actually really wanted, at Company X – mixed up his schedule, and came out at the exact time Interviewer #1 should have arrived for Company Y… so I assumed he WAS Interviewer #1, and answered based on what I’d prepped for Company Y.

    At the end of the interview, he asked, “So why do you want to work for Company X?” and I was so thrown off I completely blanked. I was too flustered to clarify that there’d been a mistake, so I just stammered out a half-assed response while sounding utterly shocked to be asked a completely normal question before awkwardly fleeing the room.

    I did not get the job, and also missed Interview #1 completely.

  18. LadyByTheLake*

    Oh, I was so young. I was in the final running for a position at a Very Important Institution. As a final step in the process, I was having lunch with the president of the institution. As part of preliminary small talk he asked me if I’d read a popular thriller that was tangentially related to my field. My response, “No, my mom read it and said it was trashy and stupid.” It quickly became clear that he’d read it and liked it (and in fairness, I read it later and although it was trashy it was also a lot of fun). The rest of the meal was . . . awkward. Nice way to start — call the president of a major institution trashy and stupid.

    1. ArchivesGremilin*

      I had a very similar situation!!! Turns out one of my interviewers was friends with the author of a book that I hated and apparently didn’t like the fact I didn’t like the book (therefore I hated author. She isn’t the first person I’ve come across to have this opinion. Like WTF. They’re not the same thing! Just because I don’t like a writing style doesn’t mean I don’t like the person *eye roll*). Didn’t the job after that.

      1. Quill*

        I just remembered, not an interview, but a semi-professional occasion when someone mentioned that their favorite author was Ayn Rand and I made a noise that made my opinion on not just her work, but her person, *perfectly* clear.

        2. Curmudgeon in California*

          Ugh. I would not want to work for someone who thought Ayn Rand was their favorite author.

      1. LadyByTheLake*

        That would have been worse! The author was John Grisham — very popular, not high art, but not worth calling “trashy and stupid,” particularly when it was pretty clear the president was asking to make small talk and try to find a point of common interest. I now know that the correct response would have been to say “no I haven’t gotten to that, have you?”

        1. Scout Finch*

          I had a business relationship with John Grisham when he was still lawyering in MS. Was a stand-up guy.

          I still think “A Time To Kill” was his best book! Even he knows that his work is not high art – and would say so himself.

          1. Elizabeth West*

            I was fine with him until he made those remarks about men who look at kid pR0n online. Even though he walked them back, that seriously soured me on him.

        2. Oh No She Di'int*

          Haha! I was going guess that you were in the art field and that the book was “The DaVinci Code”!

    3. Veronica Mars*

      Ohmigawd I relate to this so hard. Not in an interview, thank goodness, just in life. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me, but when I’m in an awkward get-to-know-you meeting with someone, I often manage to insult them in some way. Whether a poorly phrased joke or being too honest without knowing why they’re asking the question. Its just so awful. And I want to melt into the floor immediately.

      And the worst part is, I’m a cripplingly empathetic person. 3 years later I’ll be laying wide awake at 2am reliving every time I ever accidentally insulted another person and just wondering why I’m like this. I tearfully told my husband last week about how upset I was about this one time in 2015 I told his friend’s parents “But we have so much longer left to live and make money” as a justification for why we should pick up the restaurant check… and my husband didn’t even remember it.

      1. louise*

        Omg. I too remember in the middle of the night terrible things I’ve said and will get the strangest stabs of panic of ancient transgressions.

      2. ampersand*

        “But we have so much longer left to live and make money” is absolutely amazing. I mean, statistically it’s true!

        And hilarious.

    4. louise*

      Oh dear, I had blocked this memory: my favorite professor set up an informational interview for me with the editor-in-chief of a publishing house. He asked me if I’d read a particular non fiction book, that author’s second, and I replied that I had but was disappointed in it as it was such a different format from his first, all lists and how-to’s instead of the compelling true stories he’d told in his first book.

      The different feel was because the author had a co-author on the second book: the editor-in-chief himself.

    5. Existentialista*

      I had a similar experience in one of my few brushes with celebrity in my life. I was an arrogant undergraduate, on a plane on the way home for break. The nice man in the seat next to me asked me what I was studying.

      Me: English. I’m going to be a Writer.*
      Him: Oh, really? I’m a writer.
      Me: Oh, really? What do you write?
      Him: Thrillers. Medical thrillers.
      Me: Oooohhhh.
      Him: Have you read any?
      Me: Well, I’ve SEEN them…
      Him: Which ones have you seen?
      Me: Well, you know, “Coma”
      Him, Yeah, I wrote “Coma”.

      Turns out I was sitting next to Robin Cook. He spent the rest of the flight answering fan mail, and I’ve spent the rest of my life mortified.

      *I did not ever become a Writer.

      1. The New Wanderer*

        My best friend went to a book signing by a well known author and got a book autographed for me. He asked her what she liked about the book, and she bluntly said she didn’t but was able to quickly add she liked a different series of his (which was true). Fortunately he took it well and alluded to it in the message to me. :-)

  19. I LOVE LEARNING*

    When I was about to graduate from college, I interviewed for a job with a government agency that I remember almost nothing about except they had a subsidized cafeteria, which was a major selling point for me. I wasn’t even remotely qualified for the work they did and at one point was so stumped by something they asked that I just shouted “I LOVE LEARNING.” That didn’t work out so well for me.
    Surprisingly, I did get a job at the government agency where I literally FELL ASLEEP during one of the many long, boring interview rounds. The job was not any more exciting than the interview process.

      1. Quill*

        “I see that I Love Learning is already well adapted to our office environment, where many people develop boredom-induced narcolepsy.”

    2. Sinister Serina*

      Please tell me more about literally falling asleep during the long and boring interview process-details, please!

    3. First-time commenter*

      I have two sleeping-in-interviews stories!

      1. College interview. College was out of state, but a local interviewer came to my parents’ house to interview me. We had just gotten cats and I was allergic to them so right before the interviewer showed up, I took Benadryl, figuring it would be a 30 min. interview and I’d be ok. 2 hours later, interviewer was still talking and I was fast asleep in Benadryl-induced haze. Did not get in.

      2. Phone interview for an internship abroad. Because of the time zones, the interview was scheduled for 8 AM my time. Interviewer called and woke me up and it was completely obvious. Got the job though!

  20. Hallowflame*

    In my first interview for a job post-college (before I went back to school and completely changed careers) I was asked some sort of get-to-know-you personal question and ended up going on and on about my ex boyfriend and what he had been doing since the breakup. I’m shocked my interviewers even bothered asking me to submit a writing sample after that.

    1. Catwoman*

      Oh God, I had one of those just after college and getting out of a 5-year relationship. The question was something along the lines of tell us about a difficult situation you have overcome or something like that. And I went on and on about this relationship and why I was happy to be out of it. Ugggggghhhhh, still makes me cringe.

    2. Muriel Heslop*

      Okay, this one’s my favorite and made me laugh so hard. I work with teenagers and I am definitely sharing this one with my social skills class tomorrow. Thank you!

  21. Countess Boochie Flagrante*

    Interviewed while running a not-insignificant fever. It was a telepresence interview, so I wasn’t at risk of making the interviewer sick, but I was holding it all together by my fingernails and could barely string words together. At the time I had no idea just how off my game I was, but after I recovered a bit, I reviewed my memories of how I answered the questions and couldn’t stop cringing at everything I missed. Very simple knowledge-check questions became nearly impossible because I just couldn’t put two and two together, and if I felt like an answer was too short, I repeated myself nearly word-for-word to make it longer.

  22. Rose*

    When I was applying for my first professional job, I had no idea about the best version of the truth–I was just deadly honest. They asked me for my worst flaw and I told them everything I thought was wrong with me. EVERYTHING. I didn’t get the job, of course, and the interviewer actually called one of my references and told her to teach me some proper interviewing skills. I’m sort of convinced that woman saved my career.

    2. Muriel Heslop*

      This is actually a wonderful, helpful story. Being too forthcoming is one of my students’ biggest struggle – I cannot wait to share this one!

      1. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

        It’s so different from what you learn in education where you ought to answer teachers’, instructors’, other authority figures’ questions honestly or face consequences.

        I’m not sure where most people learn the difference between “norms that apply while you are a student” and “norms relevant to the workplace” actually?

    3. Quill*

      First job interview after my internship, they asked “what’s your greatest flaw” and I admitted “Rampant anxiety.”

  23. Gallery Mouse*

    Oh, have I ever been there!

    About 10 years ago I interviewed at a company that I had always dreamed of working at. They had an excellent reputation across the industry and there was growth potential as well as the possibility of a better salary.

    I showed up on time, I dressed the part and had my answers down. I was excited and nervous however nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The interview took place at a ground floor office with a large glass wall/window facing the street. I sat facing the window and the two interviewees whos backs were to the said glass wall/window. As we neared the end of the Q&A I was about to answer when a pigeon flew into the glass wall and dropped dead!!! The ‘thud’ was very faint and they didnt notice however they DID notice my face changing into a look of shock and horror. I was about to blurt out ‘a pigeon just flew into the window and died…’ and that did come out of my mouth as the pigeon got up…tossed it’s neck around…and flew away.

    They turned around to look and saw nothing. They then turned back to face me and said “thanks for coming by…we’ll be in touch.” I never did hear back from them. Sigh.

    3. Threeve*

      That was almost definitely a sign from the universe. Getting that job would have been catastrophic in some way you couldn’t have foreseen.

      1. Hedgehug*

        bahaha I’m imagining the pigeon screaming “Don’t do it!!!” while diving the window to stop the interview.

    4. Mathilde*

      A similar thing happened to me during a violin audition. It was really hot and the window was opened. The jury was taking notes, not looking at me.
      I was playing, a wasp entered the room, came straight at me, flew around my head. I stopped playing, and when the jurors rose their head, that as*hole wasp had already flown out of the window.
      I was left standing, with the bow in the air as I had used it to defend myself against the beast, started to say “there was a wasp” but felt stupid as I was saying it, so I just took my violin and picked up where I left.

    5. TiffIf*

      A number of years ago, in the middle of a quiet contemplative moment at church, there was suddenly a very loud thud of a bird against one of the windows that the ENTIRE congregation saw.

      1. qjames*

        I witnessed this once during a very quiet contemplative service at a rural monastery ;-; definitely a memento mori moment…

    6. Not So NewReader*

      hmmm. A carrier pigeon with a message for you?

      At an old place I lived, a neighbor begged me to help bury a dead partridge that flew into the window before her kids found it. It turned out I was going to bury the bird and she was going to watch me. I somehow did that.

      I would have been done with that interview whether they were or not. Just nope-nope-nope. Not going sit in that meeting room day after day and watch wildlife try to off themselves. Not enough money in the world…..

      1. Gallery Mouse*

        You know, I think you all have a really good point.

        That interview went south for a reason for sure! I’ve also never seen a pigeon recover like that. Truly amazing!
        :)

  24. Whoops*

    A number of years back when I was fresh out of college and really needed work experience/money, I had an interview for a low-level job at a Big Tech Company. When I arrived, the receptionist offered me water, which came in the form of a water bottle that exploded all over my crotch when I opened it, which coincidentally was also the moment they called me back for the interview. I was mortified but got the job.

    1. Wet Spots*

      Uh yeah. Versions of this have happened to me a couple of times (never in an interview situation, but right before presentations and meetings). The only technique I’ve come up with is to splash myself in other places that are clearly non-crotch related. There may be no good explanation for why I have wetness in my crotch and on my shoulder, but at least you can rule out a pee-pee incident!

  25. Hey Karma, Over Here*

    My dad got me an interview right after college with a company in the city. I took the bus downtown and met with the guy who, I guess, ran the place. I don’t know. I don’t know what the company did or what I would do there. I just knew that Jane who worked with my dad ten years earlier and bumped into him on the street told my dad to send me down on Thursday and interview with Bob. So I did.
    Bob was surprised that Jane recommended anyone to work there. She didn’t like people and she didn’t think the company needed more people. So we talked about that for awhile. Then I saw he had a mug with an organization I was interested in so I mentioned that. And we awkwardly talked about that for a bit, because I hadn’t joined yet so I didn’t really know much about it and he didn’t want to talk about it. And then we kind of sat there with him not talking about the company and me not asking about the company, until enough time had passed that I could go home.
    They never called about that job.

    1. Hey Karma, Over Here*

      PS: OP, this is the least embarrassing interview fail and the only I’m willing to share. So yeah, get back out there. I’m posting this from my computer at not my dream job but the best job for me. The right job will come along for you.

    2. PopJunkie42*

      You just made me remember a horrible lunch I had after I graduated college. I had studied art and museums and wanted to work in non-profits related to art. My dad was very stressed about this (understandably I suppose…) and set me up with lunch with one of his friends who ran a big hotel chain in the city. But me being clueless and him not really communicating well with me – I thought she was going to, I don’t know, give me job tips on how she could see hospitality services overlapping with museums? I think it was actually an interview. So when she asked if I was interested in working in hotels I said no (rather sullenly) and we just sort of awkwardly struggled through the rest of lunch.

  26. Kevin S*

    I have a degree from a for-profit university, which I know isn’t great but alas. I was interviewing for a dream job at a Fortune 500 employer. I met all the requirements for education and experience. I landed a job interview and it was three interviews, the first with the colleagues to the open position, the second with the boss to the open position and the third with the grandboss to the open position.

    Long story short, I nailed the first two interviews. Grandboss walks in, says he doesn’t have a lot of time, looks at my resume, and immediately starts pestering me on my alma mater, its accreditation (regional vs. national), asking why I would spend money to go there and saying he felt they were defrauding the federal government by letting people borrow Stafford loans to go there. I tried to spin it positively by saying I went there in the early days of “online college” and it fit my life/work schedule at the time, and then talking about all my relevant work experience since then. But he clearly wasn’t interested. Obviously I didn’t get the job. The whole experience was a belittling nightmare but you live and you learn.

    1. Kevin S*

      Follow up, I ended up working at a logistics services firm that had the Fortune 500 company as a client and we had to audit a bunch of FedEx shipments that were being sent to the grandboss from the interview. I sort of got a kick that the guy’s name later came up in my professional life.

    2. Threeve*

      I had a total mirror-universe experience! I went to an accredited private college that lost its accreditation thanks to some really shady behavior from its governance. Most alumni were pretty outraged.

      Not long after it happened, I was asked about it in an interview, in a totally mild making-conversation kind of way…and I could not stop myself from venomously trashing the school at some length.

      At best, I probably seemed seriously negative. At worst, slightly unhinged. Did not get the job.

      1. Veronica Mars*

        “At best, I probably seemed seriously negative. At worst, slightly unhinged.”

        This cracked me up. I’m pretty sure we have all had conversations that fit this description.

  27. Jennifer*

    When I was younger, I thought it was really smart to pretend my weaknesses were really strengths, like Michael Scott. When I was asked to name weaknesses, I said I’m TOO nice and I care TOO much. It never worked.

    In my defense, that is a stupid question. Stop asking people that.

    1. patricia*

      I always used the old “I’m too much of a perfectionist” answer, which in my defense happens to be a little true in my case, but I still cringe to think how many times I gave that answer.

      1. Lily in NYC*

        Ugh, I used it at my first ever interview. And I am not even close to being a perfectionist! I am as Type-B as they come.

      2. Quill*

        Gave that one too, though in my case it’s less about perfectionism and more about DON’T DUCKING RUSH ME.

      3. Veronica Mars*

        Yep, its literally my biggest weakness but there is no way to frame it in a genuine way. I’ve started to go with “I’m a little too intense” which also fits my greater personality traits that lead to the aforementioned perfectionism. I know thats, like, a pretty big weakness to clue people in on. But I think its saved me from a few jobs I’d be a truly terrible cultural fit for.

      4. Curmudgeon in California*

        I remember the first time I got asked that. I thought about it, and answered that I was too much of a perfectionist – because it was actually my worst trait. I didn’t understand “good enough”, so would either do a thing perfectly, or not at all.

    2. R*

      Respectfully disagree it’s a stupid question. Sometimes I want to know how self aware a person is. If someone genuinely believes they have no weaknesses, I really really don’t want to hire them. I also might want to talk through how they have/are working to overcome said weakness.

      1. Jennifer*

        I know I have many, MAAAAAAAAAANY weaknesses lol. I think it’s common knowledge that everyone has them. I guess I’d prefer they ask, “what are your goals for development/improvement?” Maybe it’s nitpicky but “weaknesses” just makes me think of Superman and kryptonite.

      2. fposte*

        It’s not a stupid thing to want to know, but it’s a bad way of getting to that because people are too likely to have scripted answers that won’t tell you anything useful.

        1. R*

          Agree there are ways to ask it that work. And ways that don’t. True story though: my Dad had an interview once and came home confused why they had asked him this question. Because he doesn’t have any weaknesses!

          2. Ayko*

            Well, there are people (like me) who don’t view ourselves in terms of “weaknesses.”

            I mean, sure, I know nothing about cars and would make an awful mechanic; I’m slow at math and don’t enjoy it at all so would be a lousy accountant; nor do I have the patience to manage people. But I also don’t apply for those jobs so it’s neither applicable nor a weakness, just me being different from other people and crafting my job search to suit me. I don’t need to be a good mechanic when there are people who ARE good mechanics — I just value their being different from me, because how else could I get my car fixed?

            I may have little patience for dishonest people in my personal life, but I leave the personal at home, plus there are generally structured avenues to resolve such problems in an office, so I don’t need to lose patience when I have recourse and can just kick the problem up the chain.

            I wish I had the physical strength and agility of a gymnast, but we’re talking about an office job so….

            I may get bored easily, but that generally makes me seek out stuff to do / ways to help. And if there’s nothing available, I know how to keep my mouth shut about it. (Also this comes as a consequence of intelligence and curiosity — my brain needs exercise — so I’d hardly consider THAT a weakness.)

            So yes, I’d be hard-pressed to find a weakness that in any way would affect my productivity at work. I’m basically just trying to guess at what someone else might consider a weakness — so I guess my weakness is I’m bad at figuring out what and why people think of others in terms of “that’s BAD” rather than “that’s different” without tacking on the negative value judgment. :D

            I’m pretty laid back and am a big fan of open communication, and I’m pretty good and efficient at what I do. I seek out jobs that align with my strengths — doesn’t everyone? So I just generally find the question confusing (or rather, the insistence upon asking it confusing, since I can’t imagine it elicits much in the way of useful information). To me it’s just such a foreign approach to another human being that I don’t know what to do with it. I’m sure every time I’ve had to answer this question it came off as lame. Thankfully it’s not a really common question anymore, although that may be because I’m well past entry-level these days.

            The first time I was ever asked this was in an interview when I was in high school, and I was so completely confused by the question. I was shocked because it made me seriously question if the interviewer was trying to bully me.

            1. Jennifer Juniper*

              I thought it was a character test to see if the candidate possessed humility and would not be arrogant.

          3. Fake Eleanor*

            Makes me think of The Office when Gabe asked Kelly what her weaknesses are and she said “I don’t have any, a**hole!”

      3. Massmatt*

        The problem is the way the question is phrased, especially using the word “weakness”. The interviewee has no frame of reference to know whether you actually want an honest and introspective answer, or would treat that as an admission of failure. Many of the people asking this question seem to want some variation of “I work too hard!”, and will penalize an honest answer. Especially if their office decor consists of motivational posters.

        If you want to know how a candidate deals with adversity, or overcomes a challenge, or what they have been working on to improve professionally, “tell me your greatest weakness” is really a terrible way to find out.

      4. Senor Montoya*

        Agree. We try to ask more specific versions of that however, such as talk about a time when you discovered errors in your work. Worst answer: I don’t make errors in my work, I’m too much of a perfectionist and always check and double check.

        Yeah, no. You are a human being, you make mistakes. If you’re young/entry level, you have made mistakes because you don’t know stuff yet. If you are older/mid-level, you have made mistakes because you have had more opportunities to make mistakes.

      5. Det. Charles Boyle*

        The problem is, people are not going to be completely honest about their weaknesses at an interview b/c they want the job. They’re going to provide a “weakness” that they can spin into a positive. So it’s just not a very good question. A better way to go about finding out about the interviewee is to ask better questions and check references.

        1. nate333*

          No, the problem is every positive trait can be spinned into a negative one and vice versa.

          It’s not just about perfectionism.

      6. Gumby*

        Here’s my problem: my legit worst work-related weakness is that I will stay at a job long past when it makes sense for me to move on for my own professional development. Years past. And it’s probably not the greatest idea to go into a job interview all “and so to address this weakness I am vowing to leave my next job within 6 months of the time it becomes clear that there is no more opportunity for growth.”

    3. annakarina1*

      It reminds me of Brooklyn-Nine-Nine where Captain Holt asks Amy to name her weaknesses and it was like that. “I work too hard? I care too much?”

    4. Texan In Exile*

      I completed an online application that asked, “Describe your three most recognizable negative personality characteristics.”

      I wanted to answer, “I will immediately say out loud to this sort of thing, ‘This is stupid.'”

    5. Socrates Johnson*

      My very first job was right out of college and they were specifically looking for entry level – right out of college. So I said my weakness was that I didn’t have any corporate experience. The interviewer actually argued with me and said “well you come here looking professional, you sound professional, etc”. It was a compliment but sounded like she was scolding me. 19 years later still at the same company and she became my boss :)

      I still think my answer was good. LOL.

    6. 1234*

      I think I answer this question with “I tend to want to get things done and will make decisions without waiting for all of the information, and sometimes I would’ve made a different choice if I had just waited. I try to work on this by asking myself ‘Do you have all of the information you need before deciding which direction to go in?'”

  28. Pickled Watermelon*

    In early September 2015 I was informed that I would be laid off at the end of the month. I was able to secure an interview at a company practically across the street for October 2. They were trying out a new skills test thing in Excel. I’m really good at Excel but I only got a 70% on the test because you have to solve the problems with a specific set of steps that might be different from how you would do it in the real world (HR guy assured me that 70% was actually pretty good because they were still calibrating the test). Then came the actual interview. It was bad. It was for a job that I had all the skills and experience for. I should have killed it. But the interviewers were a bit inert and that seeped into me. Plus I recognize now that I was most likely suffering from depression related to the old job. I felt so bad about my interview, I called my former colleague who had passed around my CV to apologize to her for potentially making her look bad. I actually refrained from job searching for the next 3 months (thank you generous severance package and money hoarder tendencies) to just take some time off and recover from burn out. Once I got back in the game, I was able to quickly land a consulting position that carried me through to the May 2016 when I started a full time job that I’m still at and quite happy with.

    Oh, also in 2000 when I was finishing up grad school I was applying left, right, and center, to jobs in my industry (which is kinda small). I had an interview at Company A and the interviewer said “I see you’ve also applied to Company B” because the mail merge I was using in my cover letters failed and the cover letter mentioned Company B. I got the job at Company A and was there for 6 years before moving to Company B.

    1. Elitist Semicolon*

      Ooo, I did this one for an academic job. Institution B called me for a phone interview, which went fine, and then scheduled an on-campus visit. When I got there, they said, “Did you realize you told us how much you’d like to teach at Institution A?” I was horrified and stammered out an apology, and they did not let me forget it the entire time I was there. The search chair kept saying things like, “You’re lucky we gave you this interview” and “if your credentials weren’t so strong, we’d never have called you.”

      It was an all-over terrible experience. They made the flight arrangements and I told them that I’d prefer not to fly through O’Hare because flights to and from my city via O’Hare are cancelled ALL the damn time. But they had to because of their state’s procurement requirements and of course my flight out was cancelled, so I missed the entire first day of what was supposed to be a two-day visit; when I landed that evening, the search chair picked me up at the airport, asked me how the flight was, then interrupted me to say, “I read your work on X. It’s very good!” And I thought, well, I hope so, since you’re interviewing me for a job to teach X. Then he kept patting me on the shoulder. THEN he was reluctant to arrange any sort of dinner for me, since (in his opinion) it was so late that the folks who were supposed to meet us for the dinner part of the interview had probably eaten. THEN the next day they didn’t give me a chance at all to use the restroom (I had to explicitly ask, “could we take a break so I could visit the restroom?”), the lunch was leftover sandwiches from the lunch interview I’d missed the day before, and the search chair kept me in his office until 45 minutes before my boarding time for the flight back because “it’s only a half-hour drive and the lines are never long.” I got to my gate about a minute before they closed the door.

      They offered me the job anyway. I didn’t take it for so, so many reasons.

    2. Sleve McDichael*

      That gives you a perfect answer to the ‘What is your biggest weakness?’ question discussed above. Mail merges!

  29. Another Millenial*

    One time, while still in college, I applied for a job that I thought looked great on paper. That was before I knew about MLM and pyramid schemes. The room was full of applicants, and they were just interviewing them back to back. The questions were loaded and had nothing to do with the job description. That’s not the bad part though.

    I don’t make a habit of looking down at my own chest, and hadn’t looked in the mirror between leaving the house and entering the office.

    My blouse had somehow come undone and my underthings were completely exposed. The male interviewer never told me–I saw myself in the reflection of the glass door as I was leaving.

    But there have been times in interviews where they ask me a simple question and my mind just… blanks… and I sit there, staring inwards at my vacant brain asking myself why I’m like this.

    2. Antennapedia*

      “But there have been times in interviews where they ask me a simple question and my mind just… blanks… and I sit there, staring inwards at my vacant brain asking myself why I’m like this.”

      This made me laugh so hard and also: GIRL, SAME.

    3. Glacier*

      “But there have been times in interviews where they ask me a simple question and my mind just… blanks… and I sit there, staring inwards at my vacant brain asking myself why I’m like this.”

      This is the absolute BEST way to describe that feeling. WHY. wwwhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy

  30. Sara*

    I interviewed with a B2B magazine right out of college, which likely wouldn’t have been a good fit regardless if I aced the interview. But it was downtown, paid more than the job I had and seemed interesting.
    The interviewer asked “What motivates you?” and I completely blanked on what could possibly motivate me to do a job well, so I said “Making my parents proud”. He said something like “Wow, interesting response. Most people say money”. I thought, yeah that makes a lot more sense. And I teared up a bit because I was embarrassed, which made the whole thing derail even more because he noticed me getting upset.
    The happy ending to that story is I ended up taking an ESL Teaching job out of the country a month later, so it all worked out for the best.

    1. Sara*

      Oh I also once answered the question “Where do you see yourself in five years” with ‘teaching overseas, my dream is to teach abroad”. That did not go over well.

      1. V*

        Hahaha, yes, one time I asked a candidate for an entry-level graduate software engineering role “What is your five-year trajectory?”. He responded “To be perfectly honest, by then I hope I will have made enough money to be able to live in the Alps and work as a ski instructor during the season and never have to write software for money again.”

      2. queequeg in his coffin*

        I once told an insurance company that I was planning to enroll in library school, because I’d always wanted to be a librarian. They did not hire me and it took a long time for me to realize that that was probably why — they wanted someone who wanted to sell insurance! Imagine that. (I did eventually become a librarian though.)

      3. Elitist Semicolon*

        My retired mother applied for a part-time job as a page at our local library just to have something to do during the day and got this question. She said something like, “I’m 65 and retired. This isn’t a career path for me.” They didn’t call her back. (But that librarian was replaced about a year later, so.)

      4. MonteCristo85*

        My dad was being interviewed for a promotion and they asked him the 10 year question. His response of “I will consider my life a complete failure if I still work here in 10 years” was not exactly what they were looking for.

      5. Elizabeth West*

        I hate that question so I always answer it with a joke about being a bestselling author. They laugh and that gives me a second to load my prepared answer, which I always feel sounds too rote.

      6. CM*

        But isn’t it kind of fucked up that we’re all supposed to lie and say we want things we don’t want?

        1. Jennifer Juniper*

          They want you to lie to see how well you’ll display engagement and buy-in to everything they say, regardless of how you feel.

  31. Phil's coworker*

    I didn’t bomb this interview, but this may be one of my most awkward interview moments.

    After completing a presentation during an interview, one of the attendees asked (I thought), “When you worked at the Blahblah Library, did you work with Phil?” I had, in fact, worked with Phil, but only a little, and started talking about that. After a minute, he interrupted me, and clarified that he’d actually asked if I’d worked with FILM. The library had a very noted film collection, and this was a legitimate question. I laughed. The other attendees laughed. We all had a good time with it and it continued to be a story the whole time I worked there.

    3. JJ*

      I love this! As a freelancer, I have “interviews” all the time at the start of projects, so it’s a lot easier now to find it funny when like, the cat decides to waltz in front of the camera or whatever. Practice really DOES make it all easier and help you remember this is just a regular meeting and you’re allowed to be a person.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        That sort of occurrence always makes me think of BBC Dad (political analyst on inter-Korean affairs Robert E. Kelly, whose young children interrupted him during a BBC interview he did from his home office) and I will never stop laughing at that video.

        1. Happily Self Employed*

          There’s also a scientist being interviewed whose cat climbs up him and drapes itself over his shoulders while he’s talking about something serious.

        2. Rebecca in Dallas*

          The best part of the video was his wife crawling on the ground trying to wrangle the children!

    4. Dramatic Squirrel*

      Most recent experience, flying to another country for an interview, flights were delayed due to weather and ended up arriving 3.5 hours late for my interview. I got the job and the calm way I dealt with it and kept them informed was a factor.

      Quite afew years ago my life was in a tough place in every way. I had been unemployed for a year and was absolutely desperate. Morning of the interview I wake up really ill with a bad cold. I had asked a relative who lived near the venue for directions. Followed them and arrived at the venue 30 mins early. Thought it was a bit quiet considering how many people work there. 10 mins before interview is scheduled I go into the building and tell the receptionist why I am there And I get a blank look. She eventually realises that I am in the wrong branch because they have 2 offices in this suburb. She can give me the address but she has no idea how to get to the other one. I drive around unfamiliar streets for 20 mins (pre-google maps era) searching before calling a friend to look it up on a map for me. I eventually arrive an hour late. I realise that I will not get an interview now but I don’t want them to think I am a flake so I go in to explain…and mid explanation I just burst into tears. I am now a sodden, heaving, choking , snot ridden mess. They actually interviewed me, out of pity I think. I didn’t get the job but I did get a great opportunity shortly afterward

      Last one is the story of a friend of a friend. Turns up at retail shop at pre-arranged time, for interview with the owner for a sales position. Introduces himself.
      Owner: so you climbed Mount Everest!
      Candidate: ahh, no, I didn’t
      Owner: You did, it’s right here on your CV
      Candidate: I definitely have not climbed Mount Everest
      Owner: So, why would you put it on your CV then, angrily thrusting CV at him
      Candidate: That is not my CV
      It just went downhill from there

    5. SophieChotek*

      Reminds me of a relative – a town in my state is referred to by natives as Alec.
      My relative was a teacher and interviewing for a position.
      When the interviewer asked her “What do you think of Alec?”
      She thought it was acronym for some new educational tool/model (as I recall), so went on about how she didn’t/was not familiar with ALEC but did know (others) and would be happy to get up-to-speed on ALEC.

  32. Lobsterfordinner*

    One of my first interviews after college went horribly. He asked me about my major in college (which was organizational communications). He ask about what this was and for some reason, even though I spent nearly 4.5 years studying it I blanked.

    Me: Its uummmm how organizations and businesses communicate
    Him: How so?
    Me: Well like how to do interviews and stuff, and how to communicate in a business fashion (WTF 22 year old me, not its not!!!0
    Him: Ok can you give me an example
    Me: well like if your boss orders lobster at a business dinner, its like how to know what to order…. (again WTF 22 year old me! You just wrote papers and presentations on this!!! You know this)
    Him: ok, lets move on

    Seriously how could I bomb it that BAD?!?

  33. Aunt Piddy*

    I had been practicing law for about five years and was looking to make a change. A friend got me an interview at a large firm that had a reputation for being a personal injury mill. My friend LOVED working there, though, so I figured I’d give it a shot.

    At first, the interviewer (a much older man) and I were completely sympatico on everything. I was actually feeling pretty good about the place! Then he asked me what I thought a normal workweek would look like (which is usually my question). I described a pretty normal 50-60 hour week with weekends if needed and HE STARTED LAUGHING. Then he went outside, called someone else in, told them what I’d said, and they BOTH started laughing at me.

    He went on to say that the job would be 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, mandatory, and implied that I was lazy. At that point I was DONE, so I deadpanned, “What’s your retention rate like?”

    He did not answer, but he did turn bright red, and I left. I found out later that he told my friend I “didn’t seem very interested in the job”. She was surprised to hear what had transpired.

      1. Quill*

        Wait, was this a lawyer for personal injury position and not a position where people kept being hurt on the job?

        1. Aunt Piddy*

          LOL, no it was a firm that specialized in personal injury. One of those heavily advertised “1-800 CASH NOW” type plaintiff firms that runs through new law grads like crazy.

          1. Quill*

            Look, all I’m saying is that with hours like that they were building the case against themselves..

  34. NewWorkingMama*

    I once interviewed for a magazine within a company I was already interning at (different magazine but it was a small company). A friend of mine had recommended me for the job. Since I already worked at the company and had an in, I assumed the job was basically mine (dying of cringe now). When I went in to interview with the Editor in Chief, she asked me a few questions and then asked me what I knew about the magazine. I had skimmed it, but hadn’t really learned anything about the audience or mission. I stumbled around for a bit before she took pity and told me what they did. Needless to say, I did not get the job, but I never made that mistake again.

    1. MousePrincess*

      I did something similar with an internal job too! I had never really been rejected from anything before and was actually surprised when I didn’t get the job which I was not qualified for and did not interview well for! Oh to be 25 again.

    2. Filosofickle*

      In college I interviewed for a Rotary scholarship to study abroad. The lead guy asked me what I knew about Rotary…which was nothing. He stared intently at me and asked something to the effect of, “Don’t you think it’s a good idea to learn something about an organization when you’re asking them for money?” I didn’t get the scholarship, unsurprisingly. But I’m so glad this happened early on, before it really mattered — I never ever made a mistake like that again.

    1. The Original K.*

      I was being interviewed by the other two people in the department (I’d met with the head of the department already), two women who were the same age with the same title and similar-sounding, fairly common names. I realized as they were talking that I knew the names but I didn’t know which one was which. I was able to fake it, though, and I got the job. A few months in, I actually told them that and it became a running joke. Apparently they’d even started on the same day so lots of people got them confused.

  36. Mr. Tyzik*

    I dressed up in a sportcoat and tie (I’m a ciswoman who usually presents female but had a passing Annie Hall phase). I was late. I was sweaty. I rambled in my answers. I wanted the job badly. It was in management and I had been performing in an interim role.

    I didn’t get the job. I was told I was too analytical for people management but had a great talent for problem solving and should go into business analysis. In my case, the leader recommended me for an opportunity which I accepted, and that was the start of a new career.

  37. Engineer*

    Interview with a major beer company was going pretty well, until the last question that should have been an ace in the bag!!
    “Why do you want to work for major beer company”
    Me – “I really like beer!”

    Did not hear back from them. Interviewer was probably looking for some more substance then hearing about my love for beer.

    3. Elitist Semicolon*

      I was on an interview committee once that received a letter in which the first two paragraphs were a pretty standard articulation of skills and examples but the third paragraph was all about the applicant’s love of beer and home brewing. The fourth paragraph stated how much he wanted to work for Local Brewery and be part of the growing company. Okay, but he was applying for a job in an academic department. Which he had identified in the first paragraph.

  38. Goodbye Toby*

    Interviewing at a law firm in college. Took a weird, giant 31 bag with my name embroidered on it (idk, I was young, someone gave it to me). Then told my interviewer that the other side of the office was nicer. He worked on the side with the worse view. Also, got my ears pierced the day before the interview, again no clue why. Still got the job and have worked here for years!

  39. Nancy Drew*

    I had a low-stakes phone interview for a non-profit. It was already bad because I basically begged for the interview (mistake #1). I had to leave work early to take it and ended up doing it in my car in a convenience store parking lot, so I was distracted and unprepared (mistake #2). The kicker is when I was asked what’s a negative thing your coworkers might think of you (paraphrased), I responded with: They probably think I’m a b*tch (BIG mistake #3).

    I probably would have done really well at that job but I was so desperate to leave my toxic company and I didn’t start reading AAM that I did not handle that application process with grace.

    1. Sal*

      oof, #3. You have my sympathies. What do you even say if you hear yourself while you’re saying it? “…But that’s because THEY’RE the REAL b*tches!” …Nope, didn’t help.

  40. DS*

    I was unemployed and desperate so I interviewed for a call centered job with an insurance company. It quickly became apparent in the interview that I didn’t want to work for them and they didn’t want to hire me, but we still went through all 11 pages of questions. At some point both interviewers set their question/scoring sheets down on the table and I could see just how low they were scoring me on every question. It was humiliating and demoralizing. And then to top it all off, I was complaining to a family member about what a horrible experience it was and their response was to list everything they thought I probably did wrong in the interview. It’s been 15 years and I still can’t forget the whole horrible day.

    1. Not So NewReader*

      Sometimes family just isn’t helpful. At all.
      So sorry…

      I bet you’d have no problem ending an interview like that now, as soon as you realized it wasn’t going to work.

  41. Oceanberry*

    I was working in an admin role for a professional services firm, with a goal of moving into marketing. An entry-level role in the marketing department opened up and I interviewed for it. Unfortunately, the hiring manager for the role was obsessed with Disney princesses and spent the entire interview quizzing me about the princesses and their movies. I was not very knowledgeable in this area and was unable to answer most of the questions. (Disney was not a client of the firm, nor did the role involve supporting or marketing to any entertainment industry clients, but the hiring manager only wanted people on her team who were aligned with her interests.) Thus, I completely bombed the interview. Even worse, the hiring manager told my admin manager that I was “unprepared to the point of being disrespectful for wasting everyone’s time,” resulting in a strong suggestion that I move on from the company altogether. I did just that about a month later, and although I have gone on to have a very successful marketing career, I still look back on that day as one of the worst of my work life.

    1. Jules the 3rd*

      Wow, she sounds unhinged. I think I’d look back at that as one of the ‘bullets dodged’ in my work life.

    2. Lisa B*

      That is *mind-boggling* batsh!t crazy of the interviewer. I so hope that you told your admin manager the full story!

      1. Oceanberry*

        I did, and she said something like, “Oops, I should have mentioned Jane’s obsession with Disney princesses and that you might want to read up/watch all the movies in advance of the interview.” But the marketing director in question was Very Powerful within the company, so was able to persuade others that I was a bad fit for the company, generally…oh well, their loss!

        2. Blarg*

          Not “I should have warned you she’s crazy and you shouldn’t join her team”?? That’s the only acceptable response.

    3. KayDeeAye*

      What? I mean, what?

      I’m just going to come out with my first, last and most judgmental thought, which is that she was a whackjob.

    4. WellRed*

      “Unfortunately, the hiring manager for the role was obsessed with Disney princesses and spent the entire interview quizzing me about the princesses and their movies.”

      Um, what? I was just sort of skimming responses but that phrase certainly caught my eye.

      1. WellRed*

        And now I wonder if insisting on hiring only those with an interest in Disney princesses is like some of those other letters we get where people are warned not to create an overly exclusive, non-diverse culture. But, I have no idea how universal Disney princess fandom is.

      2. Oceanberry*

        Yes, the questions were like – What Disney princess do you most identify with? Which Disney villains would you most or least want as your boss? Which Disney princess outfits would be most or least appropriate for our office? What’s your favorite line from [each of several Disney movies] and why? Stuff that had NOTHING to do with the job, or with marketing generally.

        I tried to adapt the questions/answers to talking about the fairy tales that had inspired the movies, when possible…but the interviewer got angry and said she was talking about movies, not books, and obviously I didn’t have attention to detail.

        1. Third or Nothing!*

          Oh goodness I can only imagine the kinds of answers you made! Disney HEAVILY sanitized those original stories.

        2. pamela voorhees*

          I could not refrain from answering that Ariel’s mermaid outfit would be least appropriate since it consists of a bra and literally nothing else. But also I couldn’t name a line from a Disney movie if a job depended on it (which it shouldn’t, this is hilarious but also the worst).

        3. Jemima Bond*

          Oooof. I’d be sunk, I haven’t seen many Disney cartoon films. I did watch Frozen though (to see what all the hype was about) so I’d end up trying to use that for all answers. “Elsa would be the worst boss as she’d freeze you to death if you made a mistake”. “Olaf’s outfit would be least appropriate for the office as he charges about naked, and I think a carrot nose would be off putting for clients”. “I identify most with Anna as I too would like to build a snowman, right now”.

      1. JJ*

        Oh man but now I’m thinking about it, what if you’d been like “while I DO have the inquisitive nature of Ariel, I like to think of myself as much more of a Belle, due to my practical and intellectual nature. I’m definitely not an Aurora because, while I am kind and even-tempered, I am an early riser. Speaking of nature I’m sooooo in tune with it, though I can’t really decide if I’m a Pocahontas or a Moana lol!” Would the hiring manager have just died of ecstacy on the spot?

        1. Oceanberry*

          I think you have just described the candidate she was looking for! Her office was completely decked out in Disney regalia as well (posters, figurines, etc.).

          1. pamela voorhees*

            I want to take a moment to spare a thought for someone who had to have a serious performance talk, or worse, get fired in this office. “I’m sorry, Darryl, but your numbers just haven’t improved” while Snow White gives you an ice cold uncaring smile.

    6. Michelle*

      We have a manager her who is also crazy about Disney and Disney princesses. Her whole department is all about Disney. One member of her department got on Jeopardy and was doing well. If she answered the final question correctly, she would have won. Guess what the final question was about? A Disney character. I don’t remember the actual question but the answer was Tinkerbell.

    8. 1234*

      I have some friends who would ace that interview but they’re also sane enough to wonder “WTF is wrong with this lady? I’m not interviewing to work at Disney World.”

    9. The Librarian (not the type from TNT)*

      Ugh, so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, yours is not the only crazy Disney story. My best friend met someone obsessed with Disney princesses, they got married, and because we’re not obsessed with Disney, they stopped hanging out with us or even talking to us. I know other people that talk about pretty much nothing but Disney and it mystifies and honestly kind of scares me. The Cult of Disney is a very real thing.

  42. AnotherAlison*

    There were a few, but the worst interviews I’ve had always seem to follow the same thing. I apply for experience-adjacent job, they go ahead and screen me and bring me in, knowing I don’t have that particular direct experience, and then the interview is a disaster because they keep asking things about the direct experience I don’t have. The most recent version of that (which was still many years ago) involved meeting a recruiter in August and a small company that had changed what they wanted by the time we talked in December. The whole interview was a guessing game of “How do you feel about X? Well, what about Y?” only to find out at the end that what they really wanted now was something I definitely wouldn’t be interested in–things I hadn’t done in 10 years–when the original was more in line with current experience.

    1. MsPantaloons*

      Ah yes I have had this experience!! Last year a recruiter contacted ME out of the blue and did this to me, a 30 minute call where every question went like this:

      Interviewer: Tell me about how you approach X job duty
      Me: Well, as I’ve said in response to literally every question you’ve asked, and as is abundantly clear from my resume and LinkedIn profile, I have no direct experience in X. I have experience in Y, which I approach like this, and I’ve seen successful Xers take this approach.

      He seemed baffled literally every time. It was SO bizarre. I did not get another interview.

    2. Aunt Piddy*

      Ugh, I had one of those. And I even KNEW the guy! He was looking for a relationship manager, and asked me how I would approach the role. I said I wasn’t really clear on whether or not he was looking to manage external relationships with clients or internal relationships within the company. He told me to pick one, so I told him how I would approach a role managing external relationships. Then he said, “Yeah, I was really looking for more of an *internal* relationship manager.” -_-

      1. AnotherAlison*

        I’ve never even heard of a role like that, unless that’s an HR type of thing. I’d have assumed external too.

  43. Eigenthing*

    In senior year of college, I once interviewed for a position at a rising startup that had an extremely cool product I was excited to work on.
    They asked me offhand if I had learned so and so mathematical topic, and I, eager to please, mentioned that I had learned it last semester. I expected some questions about projects I had done in the course.
    Instead, what had been a behavioral interview turned into 45 minutes of grilling on that particular mathematical technique as I promptly forgot even the names of basic concepts I had learned.
    Needless to say, I did not get the position.

  44. Lily in NYC*

    Early in my career, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. It was my third round, and this one was with the two top bosses. It was a pretty entry level position and they asked me about my reliability. I answered that “I am anally prompt”. The guys looked at each other and busted out laughing at me. I was so embarrassed that it sounded like I was talking about pooping. Luckily, they didn’t consider it a bomb and I ended up working there for 5 glorious years. Still my best job ever.

    1. CheeryO*

      This makes me think of 500 Days of Summer! “They used to call me anal girl… I was very neat and organized.”

  45. ThatGirl*

    Shortly after I got fired from a newspaper job years ago I was contacted by a major industrial supplier who thought my writing and editing skills would be a good fit for their catalog. And it was honestly a great opportunity, which I completely bombed. I was still anxious over my firing, I did NOT yet have a good answer for why I’d been fired, I was not back into the swing of interviewing yet and I was just a nervous mess. I had other bad interviews during that time period for various reasons, but that one stung the most because I think if I had interviewed well I could’ve had a long and successful career there.

  46. Ladybird*

    I was interviewing for a summer internship during my sophomore year of college. I went to the career fair and had a great conversation with a recruiter at a company, and got called for an on campus interview the next day. This was my first real, professional interview. During the interview, she asked “So why are you interested in Teapots Inc.” and I replied “Oh, I grew up in this region which has a rich history of teapot design, so it’s always sort of been a dream of mine to work in the teapot design industry!” and she said “Well, that’s great but you know we are a teapot manufacturing company, correct?” I was MORTIFIED. I really could not recover after that. Needless to say I did not get that internship. I did get an internship with a company that was my 3rd interview, so all’s well that ends well.

    In a fun twist of events, I was job searching my senior year and ended up interviewing with Teapots Inc again. I NAILED it. I landed the job and still work here, now with a funny story in my pocket :)

    1. Stuff and Nonsense*

      I did something similar at the beginning of my career– I was very invested in the idea of Working For A Nonprofit and Doing Good In the World, and didn’t know much at all about the many different kinds of organizations out there. As far as I was aware, there were Nonprofits, which help small children and puppies, and Corporations, which sell you potato chips and mortgages. So I got an interview, the interviewer asked the “why do you want to work here” question, and I gushed about how much I wanted to work for a nonprofit. “Oh. We’re not a nonprofit.” Turns out they were a private company that made money by helping small children and puppies. Luckily for me, it was a phone interview so I could (silently) bang my head against the desk while trying to recover, but I did not get called back for that job.

      A dozen years down the road, I am pleased to report that I now have a basic grasp of the many types of organizations working in my field.

  47. SpecialSpecialist*

    I had an interview in the development office of one of our state’s public universities. I had grown up in a different part of the state, so it wasn’t really one of the schools that had always been on my radar. It wasn’t the flagship school or the other big name public school that always makes it to the NCAA playoffs, and it wasn’t the public university that was 20 minutes away from me for most of my life. It was one of the University of State at City schools, which me in my mid-twenties naivete decided meant it wasn’t a well known school. And I said so in the interview. Needless to say, I didn’t get a call back for that position. I think I now work with more people who either went to that school for undergraduate or graduate degrees than any other school.

  48. stitchinthyme*

    I thought I left plenty of time to get to an interview at a very small company, but I got confused on the directions (this was before I had a smartphone or GPS) and ended up arriving 15 minutes late. I did have a cell phone at the time, but I’d forgotten to charge it and it was dead, so I left it at home, which meant I couldn’t even call to explain why I was running late. So I get there totally flustered, plus hot and sweaty (it was summer). The company owner was kind, asking me if I wanted to reschedule, but I assured him I was fine and we went on with the interview, then he took me down the road to the job site where I met with some of the team, then back to the office where we talked some more.

    The start time of the interview was already late in the work day, and the company owner was a talker, so by 7pm I was still there. The phone rang, and since the two or three others who worked in the office had gone home, the company owner answered it, then turned to me with a bemused look on his face and said, “It’s for you.” It was my husband, who was worried because I hadn’t come home yet; he saw my cell phone so he knew he couldn’t reach me that way, and the info about where I was interviewing was up on my computer screen, so he called.

    The company owner laughed it off and I did actually get the job offer, but to this day I’m still mortified thinking about it. My husband was very apologetic, but he thought I’d been in a car accident or something and never expected the actual company owner to answer the phone.

    1. MarfisaTheLibrarian*

      I was late for the interview for my current job!
      At the time, I was in a grad student job without any PTO, and had just had to schedule several days off for cataract surgery (at 25, go figure). I got offered the interview just before surgery, for three days *after* surgery. But because I’d have just taken so much time off, I was only able to take exactly the amount of time needed for the interview, which was in the afternoon. So the plan was, I’d work till noon, run to the subway, get there with about 10 minutes to spare.
      First, the person who was supposed to take over my shift was running late. Then there was a 15 minute wait for the train. I’m underground, so I email the interviewer to let her know.
      Then I get a few stations away where I’m supposed to change to the local train. I get off. I wait. I wait. Eventually, I realize that something’s up and learn that all trains are running express. So I get back on the train, call the interviewer, trying not to cry (we’re aboveground now), and tell her that I’ll be there soon but I need to travel to several stops past the site and then take the opposite train.
      I was about 45 minutes late, but I got the job

    2. The New Wanderer*

      I was over half an hour late to two separate job interviews due to bad directions and no in-route mapping capabilities (both before smartphones) and admittedly poor planning on my part. Both were out of state interviews scheduled for 4-5 hours, so completely unfamiliar territory and I hadn’t ever thought of actually practicing the drive ahead of time, much less leaving with enough time to spare in case of lostness.

      The first one, I showed up only 5 minutes late to the building I was given directions to, which turned out to be the wrong building. So the receptionist was able to call over to the other building and figure it out, as well as let them know what was going on with my lateness. I guess I got a pass for the delay to get to the correct building, and I did get the job.

      The second one, I had a cell phone and called about 5 minutes before I was expected to let them know I apparently missed the correct exit off the highway, which turned out to be the last exit off the highway for 10 miles. By the time I got turned around, navigated to the place, and hiked in from the remote parking lot, I was over half an hour late. Turns out they’re really used to people getting confounded by the similar street names and local traffic, so again it was not held against me and I got the job.

    3. Princess Orange*

      I was an hour late to the interview at my previous job. I was still relatively new to the area, I didn’t have a smartphone or GPS yet (at a point in time where most people did), and I assumed the street signs would be clearer. I hadn’t even saved the business’s phone number in my flip phone, so I couldn’t call until I finally admitted I was lost, pulled into an empty parking lot, and looked the company up on my pay-as-you-go data plan. The owner was super nice about it—the building was pretty hidden, and I wasn’t the first to get lost on the way—but I was absolutely mortified. Somehow I got the job anyhow, and was there for three great years before I had my daughter.

    4. ChemistryDude*

      I was late to a job interview because they put me up in a hotel in a suburb about 25 minutes away from the actual laboratory site. This was 2001 and I was a broke grad student, so I didn’t have a cellphone. I was quite prepared, though, with printouts from Yahoo! Maps showing the most direct route and a backup route to the laboratory. I allowed an hour to make the 25 minute run, because I hate being late. I started merrily on my way, navigating with no problem, until the urban traffic (which had been running a bit slow) ground to a stop. I then moved about half a mile in the next hour. I finally got around a truly impressive accident site and drove rather too quickly to the site. I came into the visitor center in a furious, sweaty rush, and the person I was supposed to meet was calmly watching the TV in the waiting room, which was showing coverage of the accident. I babbled, “I’m so sorry I’m late! There was a huge accident and…” He smiled, pointed up at the TV, and said, “Yeah, kinda figured you’d be late, with that.” I calmed down a bit and did well enough at the interview to get the job, which I held for more than a decade, but it was not an auspicious start. I also lived in that same suburb for much of the time that I worked that particular job, and the drive on my interview day was probably in my top five (out of a couple of thousand) longest on that particular route.

  49. Scott D*

    In my “First Act” I was a software developer. I knew how to build things, and knew quite a few programming languages. I had an interview at a company I *REALLY* wanted to work for. I researched the **** out of the company, posted on message boards for advice on interviewing, etc.

    Interviews at tech companies are all-day affairs. If the interview ends at any point before the end of the day, it generally means you aren’t going to be hired.

    I made sure I was well rested the day before. I knew everyone dressed in jeans and t-shirts so I dressed one level up with a nice shirt but no tie. I found out what public info I could about the people who would be interviewing me (short of stalking!)

    The first part of the interview was just the H.R. stuff–they reviewed my background, gave me a few general personality questions, etc. I felt I aced it. The second part of the interview was talking to the management team. These were very general questions about teamwork, work philosophy, “what is your worst quality?” etc. (I DIDN’T say “I tend to work too hard” and gave an honest answer.

    They seem pleased so then I went to lunch with the team for which I’d be working. This was just general cultural stuff, which I handled well.

    Finally, in the afternoon, it was the technical portion of the interview. This is where they see if you actually “know your stuff.” AND I TOTALLY BLANKED! I forgot the most BASIC of things that I know by heart. I couldn’t define common things that I had REHEARSED prior to the interview to save my life. I left feeling humiliated and mad at myself. I don’t know why this happened. Shortly afterward, I interviewed at another tech company I also wanted to work at and I got the job fairly easily.

    Now, I’ve left software development behind. The money is very good but the hours are crazy long. In my “Second Act” career, the boss insists that NO ONE work more than 40 hours. If you do, she asks why and tries to help me be more efficient. I’m very happy now but CRINGE thinking about this blown interview.

    1. ChangingNameDueToEmbarrassment*

      The blanking on tech stuff I can completely relate to. I interviewed for a role where I would be a technical project manager for a large company. I reached the last stage and I was invited to come to their office for a day for multiple team interviews. I was told by the recruiter that though my job wouldn’t entail doing cost analysis, I would be asked to perform such and would not be allowed the use of a computer. I’m horrible at math. Simply horrible. So the idea of having to do math with just a pencil and paper in a high stress situation had me on edge. I practiced and studied. I even had some accountant and business analyst friends tutor me.

      All of the interviews went really well until it came to the cost analysis portion. I couldn’t remember the formulas I had memorized – they also didn’t provide the formulas. This caused a cascading panic to where I even forgot how to do simple things like calculating percentages. Gone. The day after the recruiter reached out and gave me the bad news that it would have been mine if it weren’t for the cost analysis portion. She said they were shocked by my failure to demonstrate even simple math concepts. That they would have hired me if it wasn’t for screwing up the basic math part. I was so embarrassed by what happened during the interview that I didn’t ask the recruiter for a chance to prove myself again.

    2. Anonymous Coward*

      I blanked, too, on basic math. While interviewing with the first of 5 interviewers for a (non-technical) role at Google.

      He wanted me to whiteboard out a solution to an operations problem that I’d never had to consider before (like, “If a 2-minute call has a 40-minute service as a result, but the worker has to spend 2 hours on a service for a more complicated call that takes 4 minutes, how many calls should you aim to resolve in an hour when you are responsible for dispatching three workers in an 8-hour day?”). And it was SO EMBARRASSING to be staring at my own writing of, like, 100 X 40 and trying to count zeroes so I wouldn’t have to do the long-form multiplication in FRONT of someone, and know that I SHOULD know this, and nonetheless be wanting a calculator because I was so stressed out by the whole thing.

      1. linger*

        Ooh. To solve that one, don’t you also need to know how likely the complicated jobs are?
        You have 24 person-hours available each day; easy jobs take 2/3h, complicated jobs take 2h. Call time is negligible by comparison.
        So the two extreme cases are:
        (i) only easy jobs come in. n=3/2*24=36 jobs/day = 4.5 jobs/hour.
        (ii) only hard jobs come in. n=24/2=12 jobs/day = 1.5 jobs/hour.
        So you can only say it’s something of the order of 3 jobs/hour, though that estimate can be refined after observing the actual distribution of job complexity.

    3. 1234*

      As a new college graduate, I interviewed at a consulting firm to do PT data entry for a contracted period. Even that role involved multiple interviews and I didn’t seem to understand that “We have everything we need and we won’t need to have you interview with Jane” meant that I basically didn’t get the job. My response was “Are you sure? I’d be happy to speak with her!” And the interviewer said nicely how busy Jane is today and wouldn’t have time.

      Current me would’ve said “Thank you so much for your time!” And gotten the hell out of there.

    4. Elenna*

      Ugh, I’m reminded of the time I interviewed for a co-op position at a large government agency in the second half of my third year of university. They asked about variance (a basic stats concept that we learned in second year and then used in literally every stats class ever) and needless to say, every variance-related concept ever immediately flew out of my mind. Later, there were a couple questions on a concept I was literally learning in class right that moment, but by then I was so flustered that I had completely lost any ability to form my thoughts into coherent sentences. Spoiler: I did not get the job.

  50. ee lemmings*

    I had applied internally for four or five open positions. It was not unusual for the hiring manager to only contact those people who made the cut to the interview stage, with no communication to those who didn’t.

    I got a request for an interview one day prior, but the request did not identify which job it was for, only the department.

    I went on the interview, met with two different managers and to this day, have no idea what job it was for.

    1. Quill*

      I ended up having an interview once (via a recruiter and a very vague job description) that was for a job different than the one I thought I had applied for.

      I discovered this halfway through the org chart when I realized that my friend, whose academic and professional background are very different from mine, worked in an adjacent department. The interviewer then asked why I wanted (at 24 and in an industry notorious for having revolving doors of contract employees and temps) to change career tracks.

      Me: “I’m unemployed and would like to not be.”

  51. Dragoning*

    I had an interviewer once ask “If you were an animal, what animal would you be?” which is already a dumb question, but I decided to answer with “I would be a cat, because cats get to be jerks to people and everyone loves them anyway” which is true, but, uh.

    Really?

    I also once had a long, multi-day interview (my first post-college interview, only a couple months after I graduated, so I knew basically nothing at this point) with hiring manager, hiring manager’s manager, HR, peer groups, just so many people, and I had already had an HR screen! So when I saw the (same) HR person again, she asked me how the interview was going so far, and I made a terrible, stupid joke about “being interrogated” and she got all worried and motherly trying to be concerned, and I tried to explain it was a joke, and knew I never should’ve said that in an interview.

    Yeah, I got neither of these jobs.

    1. lawyer wrangler*

      A former coworker of mine mentioned how he had once gotten the animal question during an interview- his off the cuff response was “a seeing eye dog because I’m loyal and a leader, etc.” I always thought that was a brilliant answer to such a terrible question!

      1. Dragoning*

        My first reaction was “Oh, a dragon!” (see username) and then I was like “That’s not an animal…”

    2. Joie*

      I got asked once “what superhero would you be?” not what super power I’d choose but what existing superhero I’d be

      1. JZ*

        I’ve asked that question in an interview before. In my case it was a “culture fit” question, since we were a very nerdy software company where many people decorated their cubicles with their favorite comic book characters. Most people thought it was an easy question and I had some fun conversations about why they chose particular characters. I only had one candidate fail to be able to name a single superhero, which I thought was probably a sign that they’d not fit in well at a company where half the engineering team would take PTO the day of the local comics conventions.

        1. Dragoning*

          As an avid con-goer myself, I intensely dislike this assumption that they “Wouldn’t fit in” because they don’t have all the same hobbies. That’s not how culture fit should work in a company. Alison has countless posts about it on this site.

          1. JZ*

            I can’t remember, I might have phrased it as something about heroes? And I definitely would not have have held it against anyone if they pivoted and said something like, “My heroes don’t wear capes, I admire people like [fill in inspirational person here].” But this was the company that I eventually left after they added “fun” as one of the items on our performance reviews. (At that point I was so overworked that work was not fun, and so stressed that I was not fun to work with). So not being at least a little quirky/nerdy would have been a problem for them eventually.

  52. PR Girl*

    I fainted during an interview for an internship in college. That was a good time.

    I also interviewed once with a Fortune company and early in the process was being considered for two very different (but in the same department) roles. However, I missed the email that I was being flown across the country to interview for one of them, and went thinking I was interviewing with both. The hiring manager for the role I wasn’t selected for was still part of the interview process as a peer to the other senior leader because she would have been an internal client as opposed to my boss. Nevertheless, I spent the majority of the interview with her focusing on my experience in her field instead of the other one.

    It didn’t go well, I obviously didn’t get the job and I regretted it for a good two years before I just said, “Eh, it wasn’t meant to be.”

  53. CheeryO*

    I bombed the hell out of a phone interview when I was just out of grad school. The interviewer asked me what specific area of our field I was interested in, and I said, “Uhhh, probably the X side,” even though my recent experience was in Y and the job ad was heavy on Y and didn’t mention X at all. I don’t even know why I said it, but it came out, and my brain broke after that. He asked for more detail about why I was interested in X, and I just said, “Oh, I dunno, I just like the… X,” which wasn’t even a coherent sentence. He was clearly super annoyed by me and stopped the interview there. He said that he’d pass my resume on if any opportunities came up on the X side (lies).

    I’m a nervous interviewer on the best of days, and I had been feeling pretty hopeless about my job search, so I think I was just in a bad headspace. I had a bunch of less-than-stellar interviews around that time, but none quite as cringeworthy as that one.

  54. Wednesday's Child*

    I was interviewing at a conservative company for a position where I’d be training upper administration on a particular product. We were discussing various innovative training techniques that I’d used in the past. They asked for an example and I got up and sang a New Kids on the Block song that I’d reworded for a product, including doing the choreography from the video. The looks on their faces were like I’d started stripping. As I sat down I realized they probably wanted a verbal response, and one appropriate to the environment.

        1. annakarina1*

          Haha that’s great!

          I also thought that the song sounded like it could be reworded for a Pepsi ad, like imagining a freeze-frame shot of a Pepsi logo by Jordan’s head on the line “the right stuff.”

    5. Daisy-dog*

      I saw an interviewing joke on LinkedIn:
      Interviewer: How would you describe yourself.
      Candidate: Verbally, but I have prepared an interpretative dance.

      So…that was actually about you.

  55. Kiki*

    I was too honest in my first job interview for a cashier position at a grocery store. They asked why I wanted the job and I said “I need money.” I mean, I still got the job, but not my greatest interview.

    2. Fikly*

      I mean, really, if you asked the company why they wanted the role filled, is the honest answer anything but “I need the job done?” Why can’t potential employees desire to put food in their mouths and a roof over their heads.

  56. JMR*

    Not a job interview, but a medical school interview. I was beyond excited to be invited to interview at one of the top schools in the country. I was a boarderline candidate and it was a reach for me – my MCAT scores and GPA put me well below average for this school, but I had some experience that I thought might make up for it, like having been a co-author on a publication in a top-level journal. The gentleman who interviewed me was decidedly unimpressed with my credentials, and openly huffed that interviewing me was a waste of his time and I must be there to fulfill some sort of quota. I’m female but white, and I guarantee they could have found female candidates with better credentials than mine to fill their quota of that’s what was going on. I brought up my extensive volunteer experience, and the insight I gained from that, and my research experience, which tied into my goal of eventually wanting to run clinical studies someday. He wasn’t having it. He continued to grumble at how unqualified I was, and after about 10 minutes of this torture with 30 minutes left in the interview, and 3 more interviews to go that day, I excused myself and left. I spent my now-free afternoon having lunch in Chinatown and visiting the art museum. I did not get in.

    1. Perpal*

      What a gross interviewer. I want to reach through time and report their behavior to everyone at that school >:(

  57. Gul Ducat*

    I was on my way to an interview for what turned out to be a job so bad, it motivated me to go to grad school and realize my dream career.
    My car *caught on fire* on the highway, on the way to the interview. One thing about vehicle fires, they smell TERRIBLE, so I smelled terrible, and everyone I was in contact with that day reacted to me with a visible grimace. I got lucky though, and after the fire was put out, I got ride from a nice police man to a gas station-in a really bad neighborhood. I finally was able to get change and call from a pay phone to get a taxi to the job interview. I got to the interview three hours late, water logged (of course it was raining), and smelling horrible. I was mortified, but they were so impressed that I actually followed through despite how problematic the day was, that I got the job.

    1. AnotherAlison*

      Smelly solidarity!

      That is an amazing story. I’m impressed you did not cancel.

      My smelly story is from when I was in college. I attended a dinner with some of the recruiters the night before the career fair. On my way home, I got t-boned when someone else ran a light in the rain. I then lost control of my car and ended up causing a head-on collision and multi-car pile-up. I was totally fine. However, my airbags deployed, which left marks on my clothes (my interview suit and only dress clothes), and they also leave behind an acrid smell. I wore the suit to the career fair the next day, smelling like airbags. I ended up getting an onsite interview at the company that I had sat next to at the dinner, got the job, and worked there 5 years.

    2. Quill*

      I got lost due to a recruiter giving me the wrong address once, and got interview points for navigating myself to the interview despite that, but this is just, superhero levels of making it to the interview.

  58. AndersonDarling*

    Phone interview for a bank role. They asked about how I would handle confidential information. I gave examples of experience I had with HIPAA info and handling private information and then I blurted out, “But ya know, everyone gossips!”
    I have no idea why I said that! I’m not a gossipy person! I think I was trying to say something funny or friendly or whatever to connect to the interviewer.
    Then I developed a theory that some universal power had me throw the interview because it was not the job for me. When people tell me they had rotten interviews, I tell them that it just wasn’t the right job and the universe has the right one picked out…they just have to keep trying to connect to it.

  59. KP*

    I aced the phone interview, but had reservations about if I wanted the job or not. They requested an in person interview. On the day of the interview I left home 15 minutes late. No reason, just didn’t get out the door – I think I was watching dumb videos on YouTube, saw that it was time to go and then watched a couple more. I got there and didn’t even really apologize for being late, I didn’t acknowledge it at all, just went in as though nothing was wrong. We talked briefly about the position, and was told that the manager was a ‘very difficult person’ and asking if I could handle that. I sat WAY back in the chair, crossed my legs, put my hands behind my head and gave some nonsense answer about how great I am with difficult people.
    At the end of the interview they offered me the job, but I turned it down because I knew if they were desperate enough to want me after that ridiculous display, I didn’t want to work there.

  60. Former Fish Chucker*

    This is a story I heard, not 100% sure if it’s true or aquarium legend, but decades back when I was in college I interviewed for an animal trainer position at Sea World. Rumor had it that there was a past candidate who was having a great interview, and they were prepared to offer her a job. The last question was ‘why do you think you’d be a great candidate for this job’ or something along those lines. Her answer was ‘I was a dolphin in a former life, so I know how to best work with and communicate with them’. She did not get the job.

    2. Hedgehug*

      See, now I am expecting her to write about that interview on this forum and say “I don’t know why I said I was a former dolphin, I was just trying to connect with the interviewer” lol

  61. Manon*

    A few years ago I had an internship interview at a leading nonprofit in my desired issue area for a fantastic position. I was so excited that I completely psyched myself out. Day of, I was so so SO nervous. When some questions took me by surprise and I didn’t have a pre-prepared answer, I had a full-on panic attack (got red in the face, sputtering, couldn’t breathe come up with a coherent sentence). Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

    The worst part is now that I’m graduating there are positions there that I’m qualified for and would love to apply for, but the thought of interviewing with that same department head is unbearable.

    2. Cats4Gold*

      That’s awful that happened! But if you can, I’d encourage you to apply there anyways. It’s an opportunity to show how you’ve learned and grown, and to maybe make your peace with a bad experience. If it were me, I wouldn’t be thinking the worst about you, I’d be thinking “Oh no, I hope that this person is okay!” We’re all human, as these stories show, and panic attacks and coughing fits and bad days happen. I’d hate to see anybody lose out on a great opportunity because they feel embarrassed. Regardless of what you decide, good luck with the job search, I hope you find something that you love!

  62. Brownie*

    First professional interview of my life fresh out of college. I’d shared the job posting with one of my friends in my major who also got an interview. I showed up for mine as she was getting out of hers and she greeted me with a “Hi (nickname)!” in front of the head interviewer/potential boss. Who then proceeded to greet me with that nickname and ask which I preferred as that wasn’t the name on my resume. Now normally I only use nickname in social situations with friends and full name for anything professional, but could I say that? Nope, my brain arbitrarily decided to fall down on the job and come up with some kind of BS about nickname being gender-neutral so it wasn’t something I wanted to use in the workplace. It was like one of those scenes showing the oblivious person walking into danger while someone else is lunging at them shouting “Nooooooooo!” inside my head and threw me off completely for the rest of the interview. I didn’t get that job.

    1. JZ*

      Once when I was leaving an interview the next candidate was walking in, and it was a former coworker. I was a little worried about what he’d say if the interviewer casually asked, “So how do you two know each other?” only because of how I’d left the place we’d worked together. (We’d had been through a rough five month search to add another member to our department, and as soon as we hired someone, I gave my two week notice.) So I turned to the woman from HR who was walking me out and said, “You should totally hire Bob, he’s great!” Because I figured if I said nice things about him, there was no way he could repay that kindness by trash talking me (I also wasn’t entirely sure that job was a good fit for me, but I thought it might be a great fit for Bob, so why not score some good karma points?).

  63. Graphic Design Bear*

    My personal favorite:

    I was looking for a job before I got my degree. It wasn’t in my major but I did have lots of experience in it.

    I had to drive two towns over in the middle of summer with no AC. I was wearing a suit that made me look like a cut-rate mob boss ( I didn’t know for both of my different industries that suits weren’t required.)

    At the skills test I got so nervous I forgot everything I’d ever known about Excel, and then I slipped my pen (for note taking) in my pocket… but my suits front pockets were sewn shut and I couldn’t get it when I needed it again. I had to borrow a pen from the interviewer.

    By the end of the interview I was red faced, sweaty, and extremely embarrassed. While I did get a “thank you have a nice day” on the way out, that was all I got, lol!

    After that interview I decided to wait until I graduated so I could find a job in my field.

  64. HKB*

    At a transition point in my early professional life, I found myself needing to move back to my hometown. It was in the early 2000s before a lot of jobs were online and so I was looking in the local newspapers. I answered an ad for “marketing,” which I thought I could do with my humanities degree and some teaching experience.
    When I showed up to a dingy building in a sketchy part of a neighboring town, I was told to wait with other applicants while the team finished up their morning meeting. From the sounds coming out of the conference room, it was a sort of pep rally. When that cacophony finished, each applicant was assigned a rep to spend the day with. Thankfully mine was a woman who took me around to various offices trying to get people to sign up to use Stamps.com. Someone else was sent off to bus stops in a poorer section of town to sign people up for credit cards. My rep talked about joining her “team” and the other kinds of promotions she worked on. At the end of this bewildering day, I was called into the head guy’s office and he seemed to think I’d do well in his company. All I can remember is that he wore dark sunglasses, used a lot of hair gel, and had clear nail polish on his fingernails. It all felt very fishy and once I realized these “teams” were essentially a pyramid scheme, I thanked them and said it was not for me. Definitely one of the most bizarre days in my professional career.

    1. Socrates Johnson*

      I’ve had friends who went for an interview for ‘marketing’ and it was for selling coupon books door to door. The stories are actually hilarious because they showed up in interview wear and were paired with someone else who was in jeans and then got in their car and off they went. One of them stopped at their escort’s mom’s house to get lunch and it had been pouring, so my friend was drenched and his escort gave him a sweatshirt. When my friend tried to leave early and said the job wasn’t for him, the guy basically said “oh, you don’t think you can do this because it’s too hard for you!”

      1. Daisy-dog*

        Yes – the “marketing rep” trick is so common! I can’t believe your friend went to their escort’s mom’s house! Did they keep the sweatshirt?

      2. Anonymous Coward*

        Ha. I did this on my first day with Cutco. The guy driving me around was maybe 20. He went home to have lunch, and I didn’t have lunch (or a car), so I… went with him? And his mom fed me. She was very nice. Didn’t speak English, maybe wasn’t sure why her son was bringing home a girl in the middle of the day, but…

  65. Smithy*

    I’ve certainly done more than one ‘fail’ moment in an interview – that even include slipping from “embellishing” experience to lying and needing to withdraw from the process out of terror of being found out.

    But my greatest moments of interviewing shame were during a year where I was interviewing a lot, very unhappy at my job, and not getting offers. I do nonprofit fundraising, and sure – technically speaking, I have skills most nonprofits can make use of. And as a person with a diverse range of interests (this isn’t a field I got into because I only want to support museums featuring teapots made between 1850-1860), I certainly can connect to the missions of many organizations.

    However, the mix of real desperation to leave and the time it was taking….I was applying to lots of jobs and only quite realizing during the interviews exactly how much I did or did not connect to the mission. Some moments were mild cases of simply not being educated enough about the organization to sell my ability to sell the organization to donors. However, in one case after multiple rounds of interviews where I kept on being asked “given your history – are you sure you connect with teapot disposal advocacy”, I was there with the Executive Director and was just like “you know – you’re right. I’m not a good fit, I can’t do this.” As awkward and adversarial as it was, it truly was the best thing for all parties involved.

  66. Re'lar Fela*

    About a year ago, I interviewed for a position as an executive assistant to a popular YA author/YouTuber/creator of awesome things. It was a video interview with someone (not the author) I’ve admired for years and years as well as the Operations Manager of the author’s company. I was exceedingly prepared and the whole thing was going well…right up until the very end when I was asked to talk about my interests. They specifically asked if I enjoyed any YouTube channels or Podcasts or if I liked to read (the author and his company have multiple YT channels and podcasts and he obviously writes books. I love all of those things and could have spent HOURS talking about them). Instead, I blanked entirely and babbled uselessly about how I like playing with my toddler and doing puzzles. I still cringe thinking about it. Needless to say, I was not asked back for a second interview.

    (It all worked out, though; in September, I was offered an interview out of the blue with an organization I’ve long admired. I nailed that interview and it’s the best job I’ve ever had).

    1. CollegeSupervisor*

      Totally picturing John Green and Complexly here. I have a feeling John would empathize with that moment, so if it was really them there might have been any number of reasons you didn’t advance to a second interview.

      1. Re'lar Fela*

        The author in question was not available for the interview, as his young child needed to go to the doctor that morning. But yes, I imagine that John Green would have been very empathetic and likely amused. However, one of the things that was emphasized in the position description and throughout the interview was the importance of familiarity with the various projects of the company. But you’re completely right that there are a thousand possible reasons.

  67. akiwiinlondon*

    I think my worst interview I always remember was more a case of not clicking with the interviewer, I don’t recall doing anything outrageous but it was terrible.

    This was back when I was unemployed post redundancy from 2008 and I was trying to get a role back in my industry and get my career back on track after loosing my first ever job.
    I had a great first interview with someone higher up first (don’t recall why they were a first round) and was then asked to meet the actual manager of the role.
    I don’t remember the specifics now but I remember an incredibly uncomfortable interview, we didn’t connect, I didn’t answer his questions well. I bombed.

    The worst part that always struck me was the recruitment agency I was working with at the time also giving me a telling off for blowing the interview – I’d done so well with the higher up they couldn’t understand why it went so badly with the manager.

    Years later of work experience I know I likely dodged a bit of a bullet there – when it goes badly because you don’t have a good rapport with the person who will be your manager then it’s just not a good fit – but man that recruiter made me feel like the worst person ever and being young and desperate to get my career back on track it was a real blow.

  68. I usually lurk*

    This wasn’t a bomb, exactly, but I was once interviewing for a job 90 minutes from my current city of residence. It began raining HEAVILY on the way there; like, the kind of rain where you can hardly see the car in front of you. I barely made it on time to the reception desk, soaking wet (I think I had an umbrella, but it was blowing in sideways). The receptionist then walked me over to another building–it was still pouring sheets of rain–where the interview was to take place and we came to a massive puddle that could not be circumnavigated because of traffic. SHE OFFERED TO PICK ME UP AND CARRY ME OVER IT. (I’m a small person, but so was she … like, I’m pretty sure it would not have actually worked.) I declined and walked through the puddle in my high heels. When I got to the interview, they asked if I needed a moment and I wiped myself down with paper towels as best I could in the bathroom. I didn’t get the job, but I don’t think it’s because I was extremely wet. But I guess I’ll never know. I ended up getting a job I preferred over that one that lasted five wonderful years, and I still laugh to myself thinking of the nice lady who wanted to pick me up.

      1. Analytical Tree Hugger*

        It says a lot of positive things about the culture of the organization. Team work, to the max!

        1. I usually lurk*

          True! She was super nice. Like I think she genuinely wanted to help me and didn’t see any other options. I felt bad that she had to get soaked just to walk me over to another building … I drove home after the interview, but I doubt she had a spare set of clothes at work!

  70. Phony Genius*

    This was more of a delayed post-interview embarrassment. I was interviewing with a company, where I did not get the job. During the interview, I picked up the vibe that the company operated in a cult-like manner. I probably would have hated working there. I eventually got a job at an agency in the same field. One day, I am telling my interview story about this job to somebody, when I hear a voice behind me. It was the interviewer from that company – she had come to our office for a meeting on a contract they had with us. She was walking by my desk on the way to the conference room, and heard her company’s name. Yes, she heard enough to know I essentially called them a cult. The only thing that helped me out of that moment was that she had to get to that meeting, so she had no time to really respond to my statement.

    By the way, that company was eventually acquired, so their working environment eventually evolved to that of the acquiring company. But I’m not sure if they had to let some people go to break the cult.

  71. Elisabeth*

    The worst experience I ever had was a day when I was really too sick to get out of bed, but I badly wanted the job so I took a bunch of cold medicine and went to the office anyhow.

    ProTip: Don’t do that. The cold medicine worked well enough that I was loopy and not really giving the best answers, but not so well that I didn’t cough, sneeze, and otherwise work my way through an entire pocket pack of kleenex during the interview. It was completely unprofessional — and in hindsight, I’m also mortified that I exposed several members of management to whatever death virus was bringing me down.

    Needless to say, I did not get the job.

    Second worst was when I was interviewing with Company A, which had a similar name to more prestigious Company B. Somehow, I had gotten it into my head that A and B were in the same general neighborhood. (They weren’t.) So when we were making small talk during the interview, I asked when Company A had moved from that area.

    I could tell from the interviewer’s expression that this was a terrible, terrible mistake. I tried to explain what had happened, but there was no convincing her that I didn’t have A and B mixed up.

    And that is another job I did not get.

  72. ZSD*

    There was the time I prepared for the interview but somehow failed to prepare a response to, “So why are you interested in this position?” I stammered my way through an answer to what should be, you know, the one question you answer easily.

    Or the time I had a phone interview, and the interviewer called an hour early.

    1. Colette*

      I always forget to think about that question. You would think I’d learn by now. You would be wrong.

    2. Parfait*

      I got that question when I was interviewing for a secretary job at a university. The way it worked was, you had to take a test, and then they would send people for interviews in whatever department had an opening, in order of your test score. And they had to pick from among a few top-scoring people on the list. In practice you had to score 99 or 100 to get interviews.

      Everyone knew how this worked, so I was a bit put off by the question “So why do you want to work in Department X?” Ummmm…nothing in particular? I got sent up for the job on offer, you can take me or not.

      That lady also asked me whether I had kids so I was pretty pleased not to get offered that job.

  73. AJK*

    I had an interview for a job and it seemed to go really well. The interviewer even said she was so happy to interview me, she thought I’d do a great job… and then she went on to gush about the quality of all the candidates they’d interviewed, how exciting it was to have such a great pool to pick from – twenty seven people who could all do an amazing job!
    After that I was a little scared of getting the job, because the pressure of being *the one* picked out of twenty-seven awesome people might have been a little too much for me! In the end, I didn’t get it, but I wasn’t as disappointed as I could have been.

  74. Manders*

    I was interviewing at a cannabis dispensary. When the owners heard I grew up in Nashville, they insisted that I “do the accent” for them. I’ve never had a southern accent and I’m very, very bad at imitating one, but they wouldn’t stop asking until I did the accent for them.

    I did not get the job.

    1. Quill*

      Interviewed for a R&D position for a CBD oil producer recently, on the phone.

      “What’s your opinion on marijuana byproducts?”
      “That people’s use of them isn’t my business unless they’re exposing people secondhand or behind the wheel.”

      I don’t think it disqualified me…

  75. Not a Stodgy Employee*

    The interviewer strongly resembled a girl I had dated… who was a dead ringer for “Basic Instinct”-era Sharon Stone. It was quite a mind-scrambler answering questions about why I wanted to work for Stodgy Company while staring fixedly at her NOSE. Not her mouth, not her eyes, not anything below the neck, not thinking about the girl, not thinking about Sharon Stone, not thinking about THAT MOVE in THAT MOVIE…

  76. CL Cox*

    I applied for a position at a school. I arrived 15 minutes early. I then spent close to a half hour trying to find the public entrance to the building (for security reasons, every school in our district has one way in and out for non-employees and students). There were no signs, no one to ask, and I walked completely around the building twice. In heels. I pulled up the website to see if it showed where the entrance was, but it showed the building from the street, which was not where the entrance was located. I finally found it, but I was completely off my game for the interview and was not surprised that I didn’t get it. I drove to the building two days before the interview, so I would know where I was going, but it didn’t occur to me that what looked to be the entrance at the front of the building was not a way in.

  77. SarahKay*

    Pretty sure I’ve told this one before, but it’s still my worst interview ever (for which I am very thankful).
    As a student, I had an interview with a global burger company for a part-time job. Literally the first question the interviewer asked after confirming my name was “So, what do you know about our company?” I sat there, mind utterly blank of anything I knew about them, with only the thought ‘how much do I need to know, other than how to ask “Do you want fries with that?” running through my head. Eventually I managed to come up something about them having just opened their first branch in Russia, and we moved on.

    Spoiler alert: I did not get the job. My lack of knowledge was made worse by the fact that every. single. outlet. had a whole series of fact cards at their counters, so even back then (1990-1991 ish) there was no excuse for me.

    I am immensely grateful that this happened then in a comparatively low-stakes interview, and have made very sure it’s never happened since.

  78. Kay*

    I have one!

    My very first job interview ever. I was interviewing at my local library, at age 14, for a “page” position, basically putting the books back and staffing the front desk. The children’s librarian interviewing me had known me my whole life. I was asked my greatest weakness and I said “well, I don’t really like people all that much.”

    They were very kind about continuing with the interview, I signed up for a volunteer position instead, and 6 months later was hired in the adult department, but wow, 14 yo me, that level of honesty is not always a good fit for all situations…!

    1. JJ*

      Ha, I lost that same type of job because I wasn’t enough of a bookworm for the interviewer. Mind you, I WAS a bookworm, I was just also heavily involved in other academic and artistic pursuits at the time, and schoolbooks were the only books I had time for. I was too young to know to pivot and point out my excellent organizational skills (more important for the job of shelving books than having read them all, in my opinion.)

  79. Thatsmyfavoritekind*

    Back in law school I was interviewing for a summer position at a state Department of Justice. My interviewer and I weren’t really gelling and I think we could both feel it…nothing horrible was happening, but the energy was down, and we didn’t really have much of a connection.

    At the bottom of my resume, I’d added that I’d published a book, so as a way to build camaraderie my interviewer told me that she was an author as well. I was excited that we had something in common, so I asked what genre. She paused, laughed awkwardly, then gestured to what I realized were pictures of book covers with shirtless male torsos on the bulletin board behind her. She said, “Well, I write romance…erotica…” There was a long pause as she tried to struggle her way out of the explanation, but since I just kept smiling and nodding what she ended up blurting was, “I write gay sex.”

    Since I could tell she was instantly mortified with herself, and I wanted her to know it was OK since I enjoy a good erotica myself, and I didn’t want it to seem like I was judging the M/M aspect of it, I earnestly replied, “That’s my favorite kind!”

    And when she kind of laughed in amazement and covered her face with her hands, I DOUBLED DOWN: “No, seriously! It is!”

    I still haven’t figured out what the correct response is when your interviewer tells you they write slash erotica, but “That’s my favorite kind!” is probably not it. I didn’t even get a rejection email.

    3. AnotherAlison*

      I’m trying to wrap my head around how it is okay to have those covers up on her bulletin board at the state DOJ. I mean, I get that they aren’t showing all the details, but still!

    7. Jellyfish*

      This is amazing. Many of these comments are magnificent, but yours is the one that finally made me burst out laughing. Thankfully my office door is closed, but I’m gonna giggle about this all day.

    8. Sal*

      literally how is that not the best possible response? Surely she does not want to hire someone who will blush or go “Eeew,” right?

    9. Missy Murdoch*

      I just read this comment out loud to all the adults in my household (and one houseguest). It’s glorious! I’m seriously crying I’m laughing so hard.

      Gonna spend all next week telling my husband “that’s my favorite kind!”

  80. anon a mouse*

    I was 21 and finishing a summer internship in DC. I wanted to stay in town, and I managed to snag an interview with a recent alum of my college who was on the finance team of a high-profile presidential campaign. I was so excited and it went really well.

    Right up until he asked about my involvement in the campus political group. I proudly said that I’d had a leadership role and the current group president had done a great job planning events and increasing membership since the group apparently had been unusually inert before I started school.

    Yeah. My interviewer had been the former president that essentially drove the group into the ground. All good energy evaporated in a flash.

    And then I left the building to find a $250 rush hour parking ticket on my car.

  81. BeenThere*

    Oh boy. Well, I was young and pretty new to the work world. That’s my only excuse. Anyway, I was out at an interview. This would be my second job in that particular industry, and my third job ever (the first being an ice-cream scooper). I spent the whole interview telling them how I could improve their processes for them. They were polite. I didn’t get the job. I was indignant for quite a while.

  82. NewbieMD*

    Picture this: Boston, 2018. A fourth year medical student sitting in front of a small panel of respected medical professionals interviewing for a coveted orthopedic surgery residency at the hospital they represent. Said medical student’s stomach is churning because she was too nervous to eat breakfast but had four cups of very strong sloshing around in said stomach. Yeah, okay, enough of the third person. This medical student was me and this is my story. About five minutes into the interview my stomach started making hideous growling noises. Loud. I sat there for an hour and a half trying to sell myself to this staid group of interviewers and my stomach didn’t shut up for the entire time. It sounded like two cats fighting. About halfway through, one of the gentlemen offered me a Rolaids! When the ordeal was mercifully over and I was shaking hands, another of the interviewers told me he hoped I feel better! I slunk out of the building just dying inside. At least it sounded that way. Happily, I received the residency but I think I may be scarred for life.

    1. Leslie Knope*

      Not an interview, but once I had a meeting right after lunch and my stomach would not shut up. I felt fine, it was just doing that thing where it lets you know it’s digesting some good stuff. It “talked” the whole damn meeting…in a relatively quiet room with a small conference table and not much space between chairs. Luckily I was seated on the other side of the table from our client and I don’t think they ever noticed. My boss did notice, though. He laughed at me when we were finally leaving the room.

  83. Dame Judi Brunch*

    Way back in the day, I was unemployed for awhile, and was asked how I spent my days. For some reason, I launched into a detailed analysis of the formula of the Maury Povich Show. Inappropriate things were said. I just couldn’t shut up even though my brain was telling me to stop.
    Somehow, I was offered the job. I still don’t know how or why. I didn’t end up taking it, I received another offer and was too embarrassed to work there.

  84. Jellyfish*

    Interviewing was not a skill that came naturally, so I’ve had plenty of cringe worthy ones. However, my personal favorite happened when I was 17 years old.

    I was interviewing at a major pet supply retailer, and the interviewer understandably asked why I wanted to work there. I replied, “I love pets.”
    What else was there? I had nothing further to add and I just stared at the interviewer, waiting for her to ask the next question. She stared back, presumably waiting for me to elaborate and give an answer longer than three words. I did not. The interview didn’t last much longer, and she vaguely said they’d contact me if they wanted to move forward. I’m sure you’ll all be shocked to learn I never heard from them again.

    I’ve had worse interviews for jobs I cared about a lot more, but that’s definitely a memory I laugh about now.

  85. Less Bread More Taxes*

    I interviewed for an internship in college. I really didn’t want the internship, but I needed it to satisfy some university requirements. The interview went okay, it didn’t feel particularly short or long – about a half hour by my estimation. The interviewer then asked me if I wanted to look around the place for a bit, and I said “No, actually I have to go.” Looked at my watch and only five minutes had gone by. Her face was filled with disgust. I did not get a call back.

  86. Leslie Knope*

    I had a Skype interview in 2011 where the interviewer was having trouble on her end. She wasn’t able to get my video feed for some reason, just the audio. Video was working on my end and I could see that she was at home, which made sense because she told me she worked from home often. I asked her if she would prefer I called and we talked over the phone instead, but she said not to worry and we could just continue with what we had.

    After a while I realized she didn’t think I could see her…I assume when she was messing with her computer trying to get the feed to work that she didn’t hear me tell her video was working for me. That’s the only reason I can think that she would take her jacket off mid-interview and reveal she was only wearing a spaghetti strap tank top underneath. She then picked up her laptop and moved to a couch. She had the laptop sitting on the coffee table and she was leaning over resting her elbows on her knees while still talking to me. I could see straight down her shirt! 0_0

    I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I never said anything. I guess I kept my composure well because I went on to be in the 3 finalists considered for the position. Another finalist was a woman that I knew from another company, and I knew she was going to be tough competition. She ended up getting the offer and taking the position.

  87. Marny*

    After working as a criminal defense attorney for a long time, I was looking to make a change and interviewed at the Attorney General’s office in my state. My interviewer was telling me about how their division handles prisoner’s rights claims and I expressed my interest in that and went into a passionate pro-prisoner’s rights monologue. When I was finished, she said, “You do realize that we’re on the opposing side, right?” I did not get that job.

  88. Bro Do You Even Full Stack?*

    I got into an argument with the owner during an interview. He’d been so douchey I’d already written his three-person web team off but when he started in on how hard it is to find anyone who does full-stack (we are in Seattle, bee tee dubs), talking about it like full stack devs are the most magical of unicorns. I finally lost it and asked if he was even looking at my resume, because I was a junior full-stack dev and my resume was extremely clear about that. Also, he wasn’t hiring a full-stack dev, he’d advertised for a front end. Then I hung up on him.

    Generally I find that my interviewers are prepared.

    1. Hedgehug*

      I don’t know what any of your story means, and I’m too scared to google “full stack” lmao

      1. JZ*

        LOL, there’s so much technology jargon that sounds vaguely dirty. Full stack just means a developer that can work in all of the layers of the technology stack for a web site or application (back-end/server and client/web page).

      2. somebody blonde*

        “Full-stack” means both the backend and frontend software development. Front-end is roughly the stuff that users can see, back-end is the stuff that makes it all run. Think of it like a car: front-end would be everything you can see from the driver’s seat, back-end is all the stuff actually under the hood. What Bro is saying is that mechanics who do both aren’t that hard to find, but the guy wasn’t even even hiring for one of those, he was hiring for a guy who could do gauges and stuff.

  89. Fabulous*

    I have three (!!!) stories from when I was job searching about 4 years ago. Who knows what was going on in my head at that time… desperation? SMH.

    1) I accidentally swore during an interview. I was telling the story about how I can work with literally anyone due to a previous micromanaging boss (MB). I’d had a colleague who everyone had referred to as the “B***** of the office” but I’d gotten along with her amazingly, due to the relationship I’d had with MB. Of course, as I was telling the story I’d actually said the word, as opposed to a synonym or other “politically correct” term. The interviewer actually commented on it too at the end… No idea how I’d momentarily forgotten myself on that one!

    2) I flubbed by not editing out real names on reports I’d shared with an interviewer. I had been asked present a series of reports and presentations I’d created from scratch to demonstrate my abilities in a specific system. I’d presented these before, and normally I would take out names or black them out with a sharpie, but I’d apparently forgotten to do that on the set of printouts I took to this interview. AND I LEFT THEM THERE TOO. I didn’t realize until I had exited the building what a faux pas I’d made! Needless to say, I didn’t get that job!!

    3) Last one was for what seemed to be a dream-type job, combining my recent graduate degree in “Teatime” and the “Teapot Design” field that I was currently doing work in. My phone interview with the potential boss was fairly awkward, and in person, he was just as awkward (if not more) but I had my set of questions and I powered through. In learning more about the position, it slowly dawned on me that the job was actually Teatime Sales, as opposed to Teatime Design as it was marketed – and I am not a salesperson. I specifically asked how much sales the position entailed, got a runaround answer (“Oh, it’s not really sales at all… per se…”), and that basically ended my interview on the most awkward note of all. It didn’t make sense to continue, so we wrapped it up and I never heard from them again.

    1. Fabulous*

      OMG, I forgot one more from about 10 years ago!

      Interview for a small roofing company. They had me critique the roof of my personal apartment building (WTF?!) and then proceeded to keep me there for FOUR HOURS, in which I somehow ended up telling a sob story of how my job history had been terrible up to that point – and by sob story, I mean I was literally sitting there crying as I told my history. I don’t know if I was just in a particularly emotional state that day, or if it was triggered by feeling trapped (BC, FOUR HOURS!!), or what. But damn, that was mortifying after the fact…

    3. The New Wanderer*

      Oh, I had an internal interview once for a position/promotion that I thought would align really well with my degree and my career interests, based on the job description. Then the interview panel asked almost exclusively about my management experience and abilities, because apparently they were looking for a manager and not a senior individual contributor. What should have been obvious from my resume, that they must have reviewed to have selected me to interview, was that I had no managerial experience because not a manager and not interested in becoming a manager. Did not get it.

  90. Ruth (UK)*

    Some months back, the department I worked in was hiring and a candidate fainted in the interview. He now works at the company in a similar role in another department after having a presumably much more successful interview. He says he had been very nervous and not eaten at all that day before his early afternoon interview where he fainted.

    I don’t think I’ve done anything big/bad/specific enough to be story-worthy here, but I’ve definitely had some awkward/bad interviews with cringey moments in the past. I tend to ramble a bit when I get nervous, and speak incredibly fast. I also tend to start to overshare when I’m doing this. I don’t mean overshare dreadfully personal or gross things, but more just like useless extra information about my hobbies or whatever.

  91. Mindy*

    I had a phone screen interview with an HR person who absolutely stonewalled me around the salary requirements section. I tried all the tricks Alison suggests to not name an actual number, tried to delay that part of the conversation, tried to ask questions, but the interviewer would not have any of it. It was a tense, escalating back-and-forth. She wasn’t sharing any company-side info and was literally going to hang up on me if I did not give her an answer. The energy I was receiving was a huffy, “well call me back when you’re ready to talk about it” (picture a couple in a fight), and even though I was trying my best, I could feel myself meeting that energy in my own tone of voice, and getting hijacked by the intensity.

    There was a brief moment where I realized she was actually going to hang up on me, and I had a split second to decide whether to stay in F U mode or give up power for a miniscule chance at getting through to the next level. Decided to give myself the chance. I hadn’t done salary research yet, there wasn’t enough time to search glassdoor, I had no idea what to say and I felt like I was going to shoot myself in the foot either way — undersell myself or say something above their range and be excluded. Finally asked if she would accept a range, and then just guessed.

    The conversational tension didn’t go away though. The call ended pretty quickly after that, and I got off the phone and realized how much adrenaline was still pumping through me and how not like myself I felt, and I figured that the interpersonal piece of the encounter had lost me the possibility of moving forward, regardless of whether I’d guessed right around the salary range.

    Amazingly, I did get a call the next week about coming for an in-person interview. Still a bit baffled.

  92. Underpaid in Ohio*

    I had a GREAT interview for a job that would be a significant move forward for me–a title bump, a pay increase, etc. I was asked about my salary history, and it was then that I learned that I was significantly underpaid for my then-current title/experience level and by industry standards. The interviewer then believed that I lied about my experience level due to my salary, and started accusing me of lying. I got very defensive. It didn’t end well. And, unfortunately, I was recommended by a friend who worked in that department.

    I didn’t know nearly enough at that time to understand how to discuss salary in an interview, nor did I understand enough to realize how underpaid I was. This has been rectified.

    1. Alan*

      I don’t think this reflects as badly on you as it does the interviewer. I wouldn’t want to work for someone who would accuse me of lying without good evidence.

  93. Overeducated*

    2.5 day interview for a job at a university research center. It was obvious to me by lunch on day 1, after my tour of the center and campus, that the job was a terrible fit in so many ways. Nobody was awful, it wasn’t toxic, just a bad mismatch for my strengths and interests in a way that was not obvious from the job title and description. The problem was that this became VERY clear to EVERYONE when it was time for me to give my prepared research talk, and I still had 1.5 days of awkwardness to get through before my flight home.

    1. Overeducated*

      Oh and on the last day the research center director had a one on one breakfast with me and looked me right in the eye and said “what’s really important is that I hire someone with a true passion for X. Is that you?” Reader, it was not…I think i said something like “everything gets more interesting the more you learn about it” because straight up saying no seemed really rude.

  94. Llama Wrangler*

    This was a while ago, so I don’t remember the details, but I do remember that very early in my professional career I got invited to a phone screen that was framed as “a time to chat on the phone.” I was totally unprepared for it being an interview and stumbled through. I do know I took the call in my pajamas lounging in an armchair in the living room.

    1. londonedit*

      Ah, similar story here but with an in-person interview. I’d been invited in for a second interview at an organisation that was sort of adjacent to the industry I’d started my career in. In my (limited) experience of my current industry, especially for the sort of lower-level jobs I’d had, I was used to first interviews being slightly more formal, and second interviews being a less formal ‘meet someone slightly higher up so they can have a chat with you about your experience’. So, I showed up for this second interview feeling quite confident and assuming it would be more of an informal chat, and was greeted by a full interview panel including HR (I’d never seen an HR representative in an interview before and actually haven’t since) who proceeded to ask me a load of very formal, competence-based, serious interview questions. I was totally thrown off-course and wasn’t prepared at all, so most of my answers were absolute rubbish. Mind you, then concluded the interview by saying that while the dress I was wearing was very nice, they adhered to a set of corporate colours, and if I got the job I’d only be allowed to wear clothes in these four specific colours, so I wasn’t too sad about being rejected.

      1. Narvo Flieboppen*

        Very late to the thread, but only allowed to dress in specific colors if you work there? That’s some cult-level crazy. I think I’d call it a red flag and just ask them to remove me from consideration then and there. Wowzers.

  95. Anonymous Liz*

    I have had several. In one of my first interviews post-graduation, I was so nervous and determined to not be soft-spoken that I pretty much yelled the entire interview. I just not seem to control the volume of my voice, which mortified me and led to me turning beet red. The interview consisted of me sitting there red as a tomato and yelling down the interviewers.

    In another interview, I was asked why I was interested in leaving my current at the time position, and my retort was that it was a toxic work environment. (To be fair, it was quite toxic and had a reputation as such. But still.)

    My final story is brought to you by some casual “get-to-know-you” questions. I was asked who would play me if my someone made a biopic about me. I sat there stupefied for a few moments before saying Johnny Depp. Well – I am a woman and happen to have nothing in common with Johnny Depp as a person or any of the characters that he has played. I simply could not think of any other celebrity names at all in the moment. Thankfully this happened at the very end of the interview (or the interviewers decided that my awkwardness would be a great time to end the interview). I somehow managed to get that job despite it all!

      3. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

        That’s a game my friends and I have played for years, we have a cast list a mile long, but in an interview, I’d be like “Bryce Dallas Howard. Wait, what?”

  96. Elenia*

    I thought a couple of years ago I wanted to go into IT. After all, I have an IS degree. So I applied for a job that was Help Desk Level I. Imagine my surprise when I got there and she started hitting me with hardball questions more related to a sysadmin, really detailed questions about specific IT concepts. But the worst was – I was flustered and panicked and couldn’t answer even one. To my utter relief, she was very kind to me but I still feel humiliated by that interview.
    Sooooo….it worked out in the end. I am not in IT. Not even remotely. I decided I actually really like people and am in a 95% people facing job. :)

  97. Dragoning*

    Not technically the interview, but I once, while applying for a retail job recommended to me by someone for my parents’ church who taught Sunday school with my mother, who was the Assistant Manager. No call a week or so after my application, so my parents sent me in to “follow up.”

    Stammered some nonsense at the manager about how “My mom works with your assistant manager and she suggested I apply so I was wondering how that went” etc. etc. and the manager stared at me rambling for a minute before she had to stop me and have me repeat it because nothing I was saying made any sense to her.

    Actually got that job, though! Did very well at it! I hate retail!

  98. Sally*

    I forgot about the interview until just a hour before and showed up in a floor length denim jumper (UK: pinafore) (it was the 90s) to a lobbying firm on K street. No idea who they were, a recruiter set up the interview, my first after college.

  99. JJ*

    I bombed a job interview to make insane money a few months ago. It was absolutely awful. The job description wasn’t as clear as it should have been, and it turned out I thought the job was something completely different than what it was. However, I would’ve also been qualified for the actual job if I’d known. I got flustered, and then I got angry that the job description wasn’t clear and that the interviewer (also the manager for this role) waited fifty minutes in before pointing out that it seemed like we were misaligned. I then proceeded to shit-talk my current company, my boss, and my coworkers. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just…did. It was dumb, and I regret that part of it. But I think it’s also a blessing that I didn’t get the job because a poorly written job description and a boss who might not be the most willing to speak up might have been the tip of the iceberg.

  100. Angelinha*

    In college I interviewed for a summer internship and the interviewer asked a “tell me about a time…” question about my current work study role. I think the question might have been about a time you experienced an interpersonal conflict at work and how you handled it. I launched into an answer and happened to start with “one time I was working with my boss, Mary…” The conflict was not with Mary, I just felt like I was supposed to contextualize my answer, I guess? The interviewer waited for me to finish and then told me she was going to give me a little tip: NEVER, EVER badmouth your current boss in an interview.

    I was like…I didn’t? I have a great relationship with Mary! I think she must have heard me name her and then zoned out about the rest of my answer. 15+ years later and I am still embarrassed that she thought I knew so little about interviewing that I’d come in and badmouth my employer!

    She definitely thought she was giving me a very important learning moment. And she did not hire me.

    1. Sal*

      Ooooh this kind of thing is the kind of thing I most hate. I once had this fight with a judge when I was still in law school. “No, the problem is that you Literally Don’t Understand.”

  101. Onerous Amorphous*

    I work in an academic library in technical services, and a couple years ago I interviewed for a job at a community college that was more on the teaching and reference side of things. I talked up the instruction and reference classes that I took in library school, fighting through my nerves, which weren’t helped by the fact that I nearly ran out of gas driving to the interview (ugh) and had struggled to find parking and ended up being slightly late. So I was already flustered and feeling out of my depth, before I had to give my ten-minute information literacy presentation… my knees were visibly shaking the whole time, and I knew it and could do nothing to stop it. It was horrible.

    Worse though, are the two experiences I have had bombing phone interviews with people I already knew and had worked for previously. Once I was probably too casual and assumed I had it in the bag when I didn’t, and in the other I let my nerves get the better of me and struggled to form complete sentences. Those memories are way worse because it’s one thing to bomb an interview at a place you may never set foot inside again, and it’s another to bomb an interview for someone who is already one of your mentors. Ugh.

    1. Asenath*

      I think not caring whether you get the job or not helps – I ‘d almost forgotten I applied for one job by the time I got the interview, and by then I was pretty sure at least one out of two other applications might result in something, so I was more relaxed than ever before or since during an interview. The worst – it’s hard to put a finger on it, I think it was the interview in which, almost from the first question, I was certain that they already had someone in mind for an offer and it wasn’t me. They were so perfunctory, almost bored. And I’d put on my best interview outfit and done the best I could to get ready, too. But my performance was probably worse at my second interview for the job I got out of the interview I was most relaxed at. I was on a temporary contract, and I really wanted it to go permanent. Eventually it did, but according to the rules, they had to go through a full hiring process for the “new” position. I was assured by my supervisors I was a shoe-in for the job, and they’d been complimentary about my work over the years, but I worked myself up into such a state of nerves that it’s a wonder I got a single word out during the interview. My supervisor tossed me a few really easy questions about things like handling the typical challenges that came with the job, and my mind went blank. I got the job, but honestly, if they hadn’t known first-hand that I could do it and had done it for years, they would never have concluded that I was a reasonable candidate on the basis of that interview.

      1. ChemistryDude*

        Yes! Not caring helps so much. For my current job, I applied with an attitude of, “Well, that would be nice, but even though my degree is in the right subject, the oddball skill set I’ve acquired in the 17 years since then will take me out of the running.” I was shocked when I got the interview, but figured they must have had some minimum number of in-person interview slots to fill. So, I went in totally relaxed, even though I really wanted the job, figuring this was just a practice run for me. When I left, I had to restrain myself from doing an end-zone victory dance on the way to my car, because I knew I had nailed it.

  102. Sheffy4*

    I was interviewing for a job at a chain hotel as a Front Desk person. I did not have explicit hotel experience, but I had a decade of customer service experience in retail and F&B, so I was confident I could do the job with some basic training. The interviewer was throwing hypothetical questions at me to see how I would handle them, and one totally stumped me. He asked, “Let’s say we have a big sports team that’s taken up most of the hotel, and the hot water runs out, so no one can take a shower. What would you do?” I had no idea what to say, so I said something like, “Well, although I’ve never dealt with anything like that before, I assume there would be a procedure that I would follow, so I would refer to my training and handle the situation accordingly.” He just looked at me blankly, expecting me to say more, and so I basically said “I know that’s not a very thorough answer, but in the interest of learning, could you tell me how you would normally handle that kind of situation?” So I admitted that I bombed the answer, and now I just want to learn something (and show him I’m willing to learn), but nope! He just gave me this condescending smile and moved on to the next question. I was mortified and don’t even remember the rest of interview.

    2. Rusty Shackelford*

      I think that’s a great answer. I sat in on an interview once, where my manager kept asking people applying for an entry level position “what would you do in X situation,” when it was clear the correct answer *should* have been “whatever the training manual tells me to do.” But she seemed to assume these people should already know how to do the job. So frustrating.

    3. Sal*

      Agh, the dreaded “A: How would I know” question. I used to get these a lot when I was interviewing for criminal defense lawyer INTERNSHIPS–like, I assume there is a correct answer under the Rules of Professional Conduct in your state, so…I would look those up, and then I would talk to my supervisor, and ultimately I would come to a decision that reflected those sources of guidance?

    4. LCH*

      right? surely the hotel already has a plan for that sort of problem. like.. call ___ for plumbing issues, we have an agreement with these other hotels if we need to transfer guests because of major issues, whatever.

    6. linger*

      In this scenario, the water heating system is not malfunctioning, so there’s nothing to be done there. So the best you can do is to manage expectations. You can respond to the inevitable customer complaints, e.g. “We apologise but, due to unusually high demand today, we are temporarily out of hot water; we hope this will be resolved within a few hours.” You should also give a similarly worded warning to newly-arriving guests as they check in, to forestall complaints and reduce the time needed for the system to recover. Dunno what else you can reasonably be expected to do.

  103. anon24*

    When I changed careers I got an interview with the company that was my #1 choice. I really wanted to work for them because I knew they were a great place for newbies to the industry and they were also a great place to have on a resume. I was over the moon to get the interview. I REALLY wanted this job.

    Because of the interviewer’s schedule, they only interviewed one day out of every 2 weeks. I got an interview date that lined me up perfectly to start when I needed to, assuming I was hired. Because of the way they onboarded, pushing back the interview 2 more weeks would have pushed my start date back an extra month, making it 2 months from my interview date, which I did not want to do as I was unemployed. 3 days before I interviewed I went to visit my family for the holidays and spent the night in their house, which is very dry inside. The low humidity left me with a sore throat, and despite my best efforts it got worse rather than better and then began to drain down into my lungs so by the day of my interview I was unable to speak above a whisper and had a persistent cough.

    Because I am stupid and impatient and did not want to delay interviewing and also possibly delay starting the job I decided to suck it up and go to this interview. I nicely apologized for my voice, explained what happened and that I was not in any way contagious, and whisper-croaked through the whole interview, unable to say more than 2 or 3 words at a time before needing a sip of water.

    It was humiliating and so stupid of me. I’ll never do anything like that again. But either they took pity on me or were impressed anyway because I’ve been working there for 2 years now.

  104. Rambler*

    I had an panel interview where one of the interviewers arrived with shockingly red skin all over. I remarked something like “wow! You got some sun! I hope you were having fun!” He muttered something like “not really,” and I responded with a “oh, yard work or something?” And I think…. I don’t remember… but I think… I… might have… actually called him “Lobster Boy.”
    I got the job, amazingly, and discovered a month or so in that his skin condition was the result of a painful ongoing medical treatment.
    I melted into a puddle under my desk.

    1. jay*

      My first day at my current job, my boss was introducing me to my coworkers, and he mentioned that one of them was also ‘new’ in the sense that he’d been out of the office for several months. I blurted out, “Oh I hope you had a great vacation!”

      Coworker then explained he’d been out because he’d been in a terrible car accident D:

      (luckily, he saw how mortified I looked and laughed, and we’ve been cool ever since)

  105. Andrea*

    I have never commented here before, but I do have a bad interview story.

    My former boss at my current job was a nightmare, and I was desperate to get out of here. My previous employer was doing some reorganization, and Hans, their head engineering project manager for North America, was being reassigned to an engineering role, so the PM position was open. It was a great company and I’d been sad to leave, so I threw my hat in the ring. I had a phone interview with the head of their PMO in Europe, and it was fantastic — she loved me, I loved her, I could imagine working for her, I thought I’d fit in really well, etc. I just aced it. We scheduled a second interview, with her and also with Hans.

    This is a good time to say that while I am PMP-certified and have done project management my entire career (and I’m darned good at it), I have never officially been a Project Manager. For example, I’ve never had to submit a change request in any kind of software; I’ve just planned for how changes would be handled and then made sure they got handled. Hans, who knew me when I worked there and actually once recommended me for a project management position, pounced on this. He spent the entire interview, which lasted about 3 hours, asking me why I thought I was qualified if I had zero experience. I kept trying to give examples FROM WHEN I’D WORKED THERE of successful project management, but I could hear him being unimpressed.

    I did not get that job. They did at least take the time to email me and thank me for my time, and suggest that I should stick to positions I was qualified for and they’d consider me if any administrative positions became available. (I am an engineer with 20 years of experience and am considered an expert in my field.) Literal insult to injury.

      1. Andrea*

        Part of the reason I left that company was the politics, which were convoluted and would take days to describe in detail, but it was equal parts “her department shouldn’t even exist” and “she slept her way into this job” (my husband worked there, in a completely unrelated department). I’m not entirely shocked that that particular guy came into the interview with preconceived notions about me. Also, he’s a procedure guy, so the idea that someone might be using the same concept and process as him to get the same results as him when they’re not following his exact step-by-step procedure that he uses? Utterly foreign to him.

  106. M*

    In my last job search, I had 15 years of experience in senior leadership, interviewing for a senior leadership position. I was familiar with all aspects of the job and should not have had any trouble in the interview. It is one of those industries where you interview for the whole day or over a couple of days. In my first interview of the day I met with the head of the company who would be my boss and I could not understand anything she said. I mean, I knew each of the words she used but I honestly could not make any sense out of what she was asking me. I kept answering what I thought was her question and she would say It was clearly not a love match because halfway through my day they just stopped caring about me. They just left me sitting waiting for lunch and then just didn’t show up for the last few interviews. I had taken a car service so I couldn’t just leave so imagine sitting in the employee break room for the last few hours of the day while everyone walks by wondering who you are.

    The funny part of this was when she called me to say she was not offering me the job (surprise!), she said some things I didn’t understand about working together in the future. I thought she was just trying to let me down easy but I heard from my boss later (who knows her through the boss social circuit) that she was trying to offer me a different job than the one I had interviewed for! I had no idea.

  107. OrigCassandra*

    In the middle of a job talk (common practice in academic librarianship, which was my career at the time), my laptop ran out of juice and died on me. I was chattering on confidently, and then *blip*. Buh-bye slides. Buh-bye talk notes.

    I somehow managed to unearth my power cord and get the laptop restarted while keeping my patter more or less on topic, but wow, that was not the most funnest job interview experience ever.

    I did actually land the job, though. If nothing else can be said for me, at least I don’t rattle easily.

    1. Toads, Beetles, Bats*

      I would have been so dang impressed if I was on the hiring committee. Like, seriously, that’s worth five points.

  108. Hello It's Me*

    UGHGHGHGHGGHH

    I had an interview for a Big Tech Company that Everyone Wants To Work For.

    I got through the HR phone screen and the hiring manager phone screen.

    I got to the college phone screen and TOTALLY BOMBED IT.

    I could tell from literally the first sentence it wasn’t going to go well. I tried to save it! I tried! I TRIEEEEED. But I said, “I’m so excited to talk to you today!” and he goes “Uhhhhhhhh OKKKKkkkkkkk” like, “WHY IS THIS B* SO FAKE?!”

    Every interview question had so many follow-up questions, that I wasn’t used to… instead of knowing it was the normal protocol for this company, I was like, “Oh crap, he’s asking me all these unusual follow-up questions because he doesn’t believe me, aghghghghghgh.”

    He asked me if I’d ever fired someone and I told him about an employee who was having trouble after I started because he was used to doing things his own way (not scalable) and didn’t want a manager.

    The interviewer asked me how long between the time I started and the time he was fired and I told him 6 or 7 months, and he goes, “HE DIDN’T DO HIS WORK FOR 6 OR 7 MONTHS??!!?!?!” And I go, “No, wait, OK so the first 3 months, I didn’t lead the team — I was road-mapping and training. Then it was a slow implementation so everyone was getting used to it as we were getting the bugs out, so it wasn’t clear his problems weren’t solvable at first.”

    After that, the whole interview was just gone. I think I blacked out because I don’t even remember it.

    I even sent a thank you letter clarifying the firing situation and I still got rejected.

    adfhadfhaduf

  109. ElizabethJane*

    I’m not sure how bad the interview was because I don’t remember any of it. I was newly pregnant and up all night vomiting. This was a normal thing so I didn’t bother to reschedule. It’s not like waiting a day or two was going to make it better.

    I was so tired I blacked out. I must have gone through the interview like a robot. I don’t even know. I know I got in my car and suddenly jolted awake and had no idea how I got where I was or what time it was.

    Couldn’t have been that bad though – I did get the job. Unfortunately for me it was an industry that valued robots and I only lasted a year before I couldn’t take it anymore.

  110. Nonprofit Nancy*

    Ugh I had a terrible interview last job search, somehow things went wrong on my end and I completely forgot I had agreed to a call. I don’t know what happened. They called my cell in the middle of a workday as I was coming out of a meeting, I picked up and realized – it was a job interview, but I *didn’t remember what job.* I had to like, ad lib the whole thing while trying to sound prepared. It was terrible. In retrospect I probably should have just asked to reschedule, but I thought that would look even worse. Did not get a callback on that one.

    More recently, I had a 9AM call and got stuck on the *freaking* metro – so there I was trying to at least notify them, from underground, that I wasn’t going to make it. Terrible reception and I looked a hot mess. I did get a callback after that one but not surprisingly it didn’t work out, I’m sure I didn’t put my best foot forward.

  111. LucyHoneychurch*

    One of my first job interviews out of college. It was a group interview, with maybe 3 candidates and 5 interviewers. I was running late (bad form!). As I rushed into the room, I was quickly taking off my coat — and the top three buttons on my dress popped open, giving the whole room a full view of my bra (…at least I was wearing one?). I quickly mumbled an apology, buttoned myself up, sat down and tried to carry on. Making matters somewhat worse, this was for a Christian education publisher. I did not get that job.

    1. OrigCassandra*

      oh nooooooooooooo

      I am wincing vicariously for you. Wardrobe malfunctions are my nightmare.

  112. Liz*

    This wasn’t a job interview, but it is a pretty spectacular bombed interview story that I frequently trot out to people. Brown University was my first choice when I was applying for colleges, and I got food poisoning the day of my alum interview – and proceeded to projectile vomit in front of (fortunately not *on*) my interviewer. I did not get into Brown. I got in somewhere else that worked out well, and now I am an eternal source of comfort for anyone applying for anything: as long as you don’t throw up, you did better than I did, and things still worked out for me in the end!

  113. Chris*

    This past summer, after quitting my job on the spot because of a toxic situation, I interviewed with a pet food company . The phone interview went well. I passed, and they gave me a chance at an in-person interview. The process had three rounds. First round was with HR. That part went well. The second part – with the department I would be working with – was a total disaster.

    During the second round, I spoke to a guy I would be working closely with. We went over my resume and my past experiences. It began well. Then came one of the dreaded questions I can NEVER answer well – “tell me about a time when you did such-and-such”. I should point out that I am terrible at those questions because my mind always goes blank. Plus, I am not that senior. I am a fairly junior so I don’t have much experiences to go over. I tried my best but this person’s response was “but you still haven’t answered my question” over and over again. I probably heard that line 5 times in a course of a minute. I started to sweat, stutter, and having trouble breathing because my anxiety at that moment was going through the roof. I already knew I was blowing it. I just couldn’t answer a single question. Question after question I completely blanked out and had to half-ass them because I couldn’t think of a single real-world answer that they were asking.

    The third part of the interview? Completing Excel projects while an employee looked over my shoulder. I thought I could salvage it, but things only got worse. I could not complete the Excel exercises (yes, that’s EXERCISES, not AN EXERCISE). I was just aimlessly clicking the spreadsheet like a deer in the headlights all the way through. The employee told me that it was “okay” and that I could skip it. But at that point, I was so anxious and embarrassed that I basically gave up. When I was done, there was yet ANOTHER employee I had to go to to complete ANOTHER SET OF EXERCISES. I was so dejected and wanted to run out the door. I asked to go to the bathroom and they said yes. They told me where the bathroom was, then I ran down the stairs, darted out the door never to return. Honestly, I was completely mortified and embarrassed that I felt like hiding under the sheets midway through the interview.

    Surprisingly, they called me back while I was driving back home and they actually left a voicemail – inviting me back to complete the interview. But knowing how badly it went, I knew it wouldn’t matter if I finished it or not. I didn’t bother to call back. And not surprisingly, I never heard from them again.

    And in case you are wondering, three weeks later, I got a job offer after a very short and easy interview process. I am still happily employed here and have no plans of leaving anytime soon.

  114. Wish I could block this from my memory*

    Years ago, I had an interview at a Fortune 500 company for a job that I wanted with every fiber of my being. Unfortunately, I was still recovering from a cough and cold so was not at 100%, but I figured I can still go since it was closer to the end of my illness.

    Two people were interviewing me – I think a VP and a manager. As I was answering one of their questions, I felt a cough threaten to come out. I figured, no problem, I’ll just cough politely. So I coughed, and upon doing so, the biggest phlegm slid up my throat and into my mouth, and as I sat there with wide eyes and a mouthful of slime, my mind spun. How do I get out of this? Do I grab tissue from my bag and spit it out as discreetly as possible? Do I mime to excuse myself?

    I decided, no, that’ll attract too much attention. So I braced myself and swallowed, feeling the large slime slide down my throat.

    I didn’t get the job.

  115. Original Poster*

    OP Here! This posting is excellent timing. I was so embarrassed by my performance in the initial job interview that I considered withdrawing my candidacy. However, they actually invited me back for a final round of interviews with the team leader that I would be working with. My interview is this afternoon and I am (understandably) antsy about the process. These responses are helping so much!

    You should all know that this is not my first terrible job interview experience. I once interviewed for a job at a coffee shop with someone who knew my now husband, then boyfriend. When they asked how I met him I explained that we worked together at a previous job. They wondered out loud if this meant I would try to date their staff too and then never called me back. I still see them from time to time if I go to this coffee shop. 8 years later. It’s still mortifying.

    1. Andrea*

      +1!!! That’s great news! Good luck! (And that coffee shop person was a jerk. That wasn’t on you!)

  116. Brienne the Blue*

    After nailing a first-round interview to the point where the interviewer (my prospective supervisor) was speaking as though we were already colleagues by the end of it (“I’m going to be really happy to have someone who knows teapot lids as well as you do when we start building the purple teapots!”) and turning in a fantastic sample teapot they’d assigned me, I was really excited about working at this company. It was two blocks from my apartment, had incredible perks, and if the sample teapot was any indication, the work itself was going to be fun. When I got called in for a second interview with First Interviewer’s supervisor, First Interviewer assured me it was pretty much just a formality, that Second Interview just wanted to meet the candidates, but First Interviewer was the one making the call.

    Thirty seconds into the interview, Second Interviewer revealed himself to be a huge fan of a freelance project I’d been working on (that was my actual passion) — even better! At that point I assumed it was in the bag and I was pretty relaxed. Second Interviewer asked me about the job I’d held two jobs ago and I brightly told him all about how I’d been fired for cause (it was a good story, and probably not a totally justified firing, but it certainly didn’t reflect well on me). As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized the mistake, and I tried to spin it as “here’s what I learned from the experience,” but the damage was done. He shook my hand, ended the interview, and I received a form letter rejecting me two days later.

  117. littlelizard*

    My first ever non-retail job interview.

    The interviewers asked me to “tell me about yourself”. I was deeply depressed, stressed about how school was going, stressed about the interview and how I was dressed for it (not well), hadn’t made time for anything I liked for a while.

    I started tearing up at this very normal, routine question. This opportunity was coordinated through my college department, and my professor/department head was there, staring at me like I was embarrassing her. The interviewers were very kind, prompted me with ideas of what to mention. I pulled it together and had an Alright rest of the interview. I did not get the job.

  118. Anonymous Bean*

    Oh boy. I had an internal interview that would have let me move from my contracting company to the company I was placed at. I had already tried once, gotten great feedback as to how I could improve, and I took it to heart when another position opened up half a year later. I spent weeks getting myself together for try two. I had great answers.

    Until they asked me for an example of a time I had to think on my feet and “bend the rules” to get something done.

    Ironically I could no longer think on my feet. I blanked.

    Until I remembered our delivery of alcoholic beverages that morning for an event that afternoon.

    “Well…just this morning, we received a shipment of alcohol for the party that needed to be refrigerated immediately. There wasn’t room in the locked fridge, and I couldn’t put it in the break room fridges. So I quickly rearranged the entire locked fridge, pulling out and even moving shelves, and got every single bottle in there.”

    That barely qualified as bending the rules. Oof. I cringe remembering it. I didn’t get the job, but I was told it was because they really need someone who doesn’t need training on their system, and I would. But I just am so embarrassed by my boozy answer.

  119. Michelle*

    Job I really, really wanted. As soon as the interview started, my nose began itching. I tried to ignore it, then as it got worse I tried rubbing my nose discreetly as a gesture while I was talking. It finally got so bad that I excused myself to take an allergy pill and blow my nose, but it kept doing it. By the time I got to my car after the interview my whole face was numb.

    I’m sure they thought I was on drugs or something.

  120. Cruciatus*

    Mine is relatively tame and I don’t consider it a “bomb”, but it was definitely a lesson learned. I’ve always been a good speller, and near the end of one of my first interviews ever, someone asked me how good of a speller I am from 1-10. I said 10. They then asked me to spell “liaison”. Well. I didn’t spell it right and when they told me so I choked something out about looking up words when I wasn’t sure (which is and remains true). But I learned it’s better to leave some wiggle room there and not give yourself 10s (though I was trying to be CONFIDENT!). I have also never forgotten how to spell “liaison”. Stupid second “i”.

    In another interview, I worked for a medical school (staff) and was interviewing for an internal position and the provost (and FOUNDER OF THE SCHOOL) asked me what the mission statement for the school was. Well shit. She was “disappointed” I didn’t know the osteopathic mission. I later learned no one else knew it either but they weren’t the ones interviewing for another job! So, yeah. I did get the other job but I made sure to memorize the mission in case she popped in and asked me (she never did).

    1. Federal Middle Manager*

      I misspelled “Caribbean” in a cover letter where I trying to sell how familiar I am with Caribbean culture. (It was relevant to the job.) /sigh

      1. Blueberry*

        Don’t feel bad. I persistently misspell ‘Caribbean’ and my family is from Jamaica. I just keep wanting to put in 2 ‘r’s!

    2. Fikly*

      I used to have a job title that contained the word liaison. And often had to make phone calls where I had to give my title to people and they needed to make a note of it. No one can spell liaison. The only reason I can spell it is because I had to spell it for hundreds of people.

  121. toolazytocapitalize*

    when i was still in college i interviewed for a barista job at a local company. at the end of the interview, the manager was like “okay, i love this question. it’s just for fun! if there was a zombie apocalypse, what would you do?” and i was like “kill myself, no thanks!”

    earlier in that same interview, she asked “why do you want this job?” i answered,
    “because i lived on the block!” [enthusiasm true to original]

    somehow i left the interview feeling great. even more surprising, i got the job and worked there for 4 years – loved it! just writing this was a major cringe.

  122. Keymaster of Gozer*

    I came into the interview room, tripped over my own walking stick and face planted the table. I was in too much pain to continue the interview so ended up leaving.

        1. Keymaster of Gozer*

          Husband unit jokes that if it ever happens again I should fart when I hit the table. Start as you mean to go on I guess!

          (I’m fantastically clumsy even with my stick. And windy)

  123. This is not the job you're looking for*

    I was in graduate school and interviewing for positions for our required internship. This was my first experience applying to actual professional positions, so I was a nervous wreck. The interviewer for one of the first positions was from the UK. After the third or fourth question, I realized I was imitating her accent. I……did not get that position. It’s 20 years later and I still cringe thinking about it.

  124. Box of Kittens*

    I interviewed with a real estate agent right out of college for a marketing/admin hybrid position. The interview went pretty well until she asked me whether I was planning on having kids, which I knew was a shady question, so I answered telling her there weren’t any restrictions on my scheduling, if that was what she was looking for. She didn’t like that answer and repeated her original one, which I answered because I didn’t know how to politely push back. After the interview I got more and more uneasy about the question but somehow I ended up as one of the top candidates. I had a phone interview a few days later with another agent she worked closely with, because they sometimes shared their marketing/admins. The phone interview was completely unscheduled; both agents called and texted me several times before I picked up wanting me to answer right away on a Friday night while I was out to dinner with my new fiance’s extended family, who I had never met before. By that point, I was mad I had been asked the question and annoyed at the seeming lack of respect for my time. In the interview with the other agent, while standing in the restaurant lobby, I told him what the original agent had asked and that it was probably illegal. I kind of ranted at him a bit and he ended the phone interview. I did not get the job.

  125. Gallery Mouse*

    I have one more! (and so so many that I’d rather not remember)…

    I went in for an in-person interview after acing the phone one. I arrived on time and was led into a nice seating area and given a paper application to fill out. I haven’t filled out a paper one in so long but dove right in and started filling out the boxes…first name, last name, etc. For some insane reason when I got to the ‘Education’ part I started filling it out with my HIGH SCHOOL info! I wrote it all in before I realized…they are probably looking for my college information…I mean…

    At that point it was too late to do anything but ask for another form. I went up to reception and asked them for another one, and luckily for me the printer was broken and that was their last copy…and I didnt get the job (but I did end up working there years later and vowed to be a much kinder interviewer who kept several blank copies on hand for future applicants).

  126. Aphrodite*

    I had sent in a resume for a job opening at a small specialty publishing house for a job as an editor. When I got the interview I discovered there was an editing job as part of the interview. I expected this so it was no surprise. However, it came at the end of long and stressful (but apparently successful) interview. Plus, I had taken one of my cats into the emergency vet a couple of hours before the interview and was due to go back there afterwards.

    Needless to say, I bombed the test. I was exhausted and worried and it simply did me in by the time that test came up. Later, I came to realize it was likely a well-disguised fortunate turn of events by dodging what probably would have been a bullet. I ended up with a job in higher education and while not overly interesting, pays decently, has fantastic benefits, and I now have a wonderful boss. (Plus, I don’t have to edit, something I didn’t realize at the time that I was burned out on doing.)

  127. Womens Rea*

    I had a second round interview at a ~*very fancy*~ reproductive rights organization (which shall remain nameless). It was a panel interview and I could tell that one of the panelists didn’t think that I was qualified for the position based on my resume alone. She was not engaged at all, scrolling on her phone for the majority of the interview, and not really paying attention to my responses – I could tell the other people on the panel were looking at me with a lot of sympathy as I tried to be engaging.

    Anyway, I did feel like I bombed the interview because I had never been made to feel so small during an interview process before and I think that lack of confidence showed in my responses. And then HR ghosted me. It ended up being a blessing in disguise though because I probably wouldn’t have been happy in that work environment and I’ve gone on to be successful in my field. You’ll be ok OP! Happens to everyone.

  128. I Didn't Know The Population of the US*

    I was just out of undergrad and interviewing for a prestigious rotation program. First, it was a 2 hour drive and I hit major traffic and showed up about 45 min late. Then, I didn’t fully comprehend what a “case interview” was. This one was basically a business scenario you had to solve using a series of math equations. This particular case was something about a diaper company and the first question I needed to know was the population of the U.S. I had no idea. I guessed 30 million and the panel laughed, like real laughter, and said that was about the population of California. I then got stuck on the math part pretty hard and finally they just said they were out of time. It’s been 10 years and I still cannot for the life of me remember the population of the US, but I know it’s not 30 million. To my credit though, I did get the approximate number of diapers a child uses per day thanks to my time as a nanny. That answer really shocked them (apparently not one else was close).

  129. fluffy*

    I am having vivid memories of an interview nearly 2 decades ago. At this job, we had numerous locations spread out over a metro region, and our jobs were a mix of part-time, temporary, and full time, all with the same basic job description. One person I interviewed spent most of the interview complaining about his previous job and bad-mouthing his boss. I was that boss–he didn’t recognize me? I did call HR about his need to improve his interviewing skills

  130. The Man, Becky Lynch*

    I was meeting a lady I’d be replacing at a restaurant because it was a tiny town and a three person company operation. So she didn’t invite me to the farm location due to space limitations.

    I greeted her and in the process of sitting myself down used the table for leverage like many do. The table was precarious it turns out and slid with force into her abdomen section creating a big “oooommffff” moment.

    We never recovered after the assault by faulty table. She clearly decided I was a total jackhole for being so careless.

  131. Massive Dynamic*

    I interviewed for a full-time hospitality position waaaaaaaaaay back in my early 20s. I wore fancy big girls heels. They hurt a bit but I got the job and was told to come back for my first shift the next Monday. Monday came, wore the same heels (for luck?! young Massive was dumb, guys). This time, the shoes tore the skin off the back of my feet, and this was an on-your-feet shift job. I tried to play it off and hid my limp but my face must’ve showed I was in pain which probably read as disinterested since I have resting Kanye face. At the end of the shift, the boss told me “oh by the way, this is an on-call position only” and never called me to work there again.

    Thankfully I got a different job at a competitor a few weeks later and ended up staying there for nine years, moving into management for the last six. Also, I threw the shoes out.

  132. k*

    A recruiter for a certain major media organization visited our campus every year to recruit. I didn’t think my interview was horrible, all things considered, but they did make sure to send a rejection letter four days later.

    1. fposte*

      I can see that it was an ouch, but it doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. It doesn’t mean your interview was horrible, just that you, along with others, didn’t make the cut. I generally wait at least a week after interviews, but that doesn’t mean I’m spending more time agonizing over the applicants, just that I know people don’t like a fast rejection.

  133. HarrietWriterPants*

    When I was 23, I applied to 15 MFA programs in Creative Writing, and was accepted at three of them. The best was at a prestigious university in D.C., and I was a candidate for a three-year fellowship that involved working in their writing center tutoring undergrads–for a healthy stipend that meant I would be attending for free. With three years of teaching high school English under my belt, I thought I’d be a shoo-in. Before the interview, I could not stop thinking “This is a $94K opportunity! I better get prepared!”

    They sent me sample student essays and told me to prepare for a role-playing interview; I would act out the part of Writing Center tutor while someone pretended to be the student receiving writing advice. I read all the essays, made copious notes and flashcards, and was confident I had some top-notch Motivating English Teacher Writing Advice to lay on these people.

    So I get there, and the head of the program begins pretending to be a freshman student. His so-called essay is titled something like “Why Country Music Fans Are Normal People Too” and it’s all about the narrator going to a country bar, listening to Willie Nelson, and realizing the people around him are not complete hicks and rednecks. I had assumed it was meant to be a parody, as there were so many funny bits, and all the advice I’d prepared was about heightening the humor, etc. The director says, “No, it’s not supposed to be funny.” And I try to deflect, and give more thoughts on writing satire, before he interrupts me to say solemnly, “I don’t understand. Why would you think it was funny? Are you laughing at me?” and now I’m in the absurd situation of trying to imagine this accomplished 60 year old man as a naive 18 year old freshman — one who believes that a sentence like “The woman who liked Dolly Parton didn’t have big breasts herself and had never considered having cosmetic surgery” should be taken completely at face value — and responding appropriately, in a consoling yet encouraging manner, as his writing tutor. I couldn’t do it, and I could not recover. I mumbled something about revising the main topic, thinking about different reader perspectives, and some other nonsense. I got so flustered that at the end, once the role playing had mercifully drawn to a close, the director patted me on the back and said, “You know we still want you to come here, right? You’re still accepted to the program!” I was completely red and tongue-tied, and left the building in tears.

    It was crystal clear to us all that I would NOT be getting my $94K 3-year fellowship…and indeed, I did not end up going to that school. I did go to a different MFA program, and am still paying off my student loans….but that is another story. I am happily and lucratively employed at this point. Hang in there, OP! Someday this will be a mortifying moment that you remember for laughs–and a reminder of how far you’ve come.

    2. Amy Sly*

      Oy … you can’t exactly say “Because I wasn’t thinking the people here were classist bigots.”

  134. Famous internet cat*

    Not me, but Anthony Bourdain once got summarily dismissed from a job interview at a steakhouse because he thought the Scottish interviewer had asked “What do you know about me?” And he said, “Next to nothing!” The question had actually been “What do you know about meat?” He realized this much later.

  135. CynicallySweet*

    I once answered the question “why do you want to work here” with “because my car needs a lot of work and you’re walking distance from my apartment”…I did not get the job. I should not have gotten the job. On top of that answer I was WILDLY unqualified

    1. Fikly*

      Putting aside the unqualified part, if I was interviewing you, I would give you points for making sure you had a way to get to your job if you knew your car was unreliable.

  136. TypityTypeType*

    A variation: I was temping for a publisher and it was going really well — I was being invited to production meetings and they kept giving me more cool stuff to do. The bus trip was terrible, about 90 minutes with two transfers, but still, it was a great spot to be in.

    So one morning I get in, and the manager I’d been working with said, “We’d like to keep you on longer, maybe even on the way to being permanent.” I was delighted, but for some insane reason the first words out of my mouth were something like, “Great, more time taking the bus.” She responded, understandably, “Don’t you even want this job?” I tried to smooth it over, but later that day the temp agency called and said it would be my last day there. I said, “She didn’t like the bus remark, right?” “Right.”

    If I had just paused for *one second* before I responded, I’d have been working in publishing years before I finally got a spot at a magazine. It’s one time I really paid for my lack of a filter in those days.

  137. Wendy Darling*

    I got an interview for a data science job at Facebook so ostensibly I am good at statistics, right?

    It turns out I’m good at statistics until someone puts me in a conference room in Palo Alto and hands me a whiteboard marker and asks me to calculate something. I forgot all math. I mean I’m a mess at arithmetic anyway which is why I got good at computers, but I legitimately forgot how to calculate basic stuff and stood there gawping like a fish.

    I did not get hired. I’m not sure I’m sad about it (my wallet is definitely sad about it but the rest of me is pretty ambivalent), but it felt BAD.

    1. Holy Moley*

      OMG yes, this happened to me for my first IT interview after I graduated. Interviewed for a job at a huge company and they were all “create this program” with code and everything and I just brain farted. It was AWFUL. I kept giving basic awful answers that made it sounds like I never took a class in my life. I didnt get hired either lol.

    2. Elenna*

      LOL, I mentioned above the time when I applied for a government stats job and promptly forgot how to calculate variance. Variance! The thing we learned about in Stats 101! The thing that was used in every stats class ever! I kind of mumbled something like “it measures how much the random variable changes” and moved on. I did not get the job.

  138. Noise Generator*

    In two different interviews at two different companies, I was asked the awful “Where do you see yourself in five years?” question, and immediately responded with Mitch Hedberg’s “Celebrating the five-year anniversary of you asking me that question.” In both cases, I ended up with an offer. (Though I didn’t end up taking them.)

  139. Applesauced*

    I was a new architecture grad, interviewing at a former professor’s firm.
    I met with his partners “Bob” (who if I remember correctly – this was a decade ago – seemed a little annoyed the whole time), and he asked me if I was afraid of heights. I thought it was an odd question, so jokingly answered “only if the fall would kill me!”
    Bob said “well, we do a lot of cornice renovations, and you’d need to inspect them on scaffolding, so yeah…. the fall could be bad”
    I’m sure I turned bright red, but made it through the rest of the interview, but ultimately did not get the job.

  140. K in Boston*

    I was interviewing for a job that I wasn’t super interested in, but I needed a job, so…..

    The recruiter asked me to research the company. I looked at their website for probably all of 2 minutes, classifying it in my head as “they do security software.”

    During they interview, they asked me what I knew about them, and I said just that — “You do security software.” And that’s all. Awkward silence ensues.

    At the end of the call, the interviewer said, “Oh, and a tip? Research the company you’re interviewing for.”

    Probably not the worst story out there, but I definitely still hard-core cringe to this day when I think about it.

    1. we're basically gods*

      In your defense, a lot of software companies have absolutely inscrutable websites. I applied to a company for a job I really, really wanted, so I was *scouring* their website for information, and all I could come up with was that they did *something* for insurance companies. Everything else was either insurance industry jargon or generic corporate nonsense.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        I HATE that. I keep running into that.

        “XYZ Company is a full-service firm that specializes in creating the synergy within your company’s paradigm in a proactive way. We like to think outside the box and uniquely seize principle-centered resources that compellingly integrate mission-critical catalysts for change and conveniently redefine inter-mandated leadership.”

        1. starsaphire*

          I’ve run into this too, and very recently.

          The kicker? They KNEW that was the case. Because all three people I spoke with that day, about ten minutes in, would get the same smug grin on their faces and ask, “So tell me, what does our company do?”

          To the first guy, I babbled for about five minutes, flinging the website buzzwords back at him. (Because I’d spent two hours apiece on two different days going over the website, so I’d pretty much memorized them.)

          To the second person, I said, “Actually, I was going to ask you that.”

          To the third person, I said, “According to your website, everything… ” and I babbled on about how great diversity was.

          No one responded at all; they just moved on. So apparently that was a mandatory part of the grilling.

          The rejection notice came while I was still on the train home from the interview… I went to open their email the second I got home to prep the thank you letter, and the rejection was already in my inbox.

          Seriously, that’s some elitist BS, if you ask me. Rather like, “If you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it.”

          1. Elizabeth West*

            Ha! I found a corporate bullshit buzzword generator online. Everything up to “think outside the box” was me, tho.

      2. JZ*

        ^ This. When I was preparing for the interview at my first tech job I read literally every single page on the company web site but couldn’t figure out what “business solutions” actually meant. So I asked during my interview. I told them that I’d read all the pages on their web site but wasn’t clear what their software did. HR was happy to answer me, since I’d clearly done my homework, could quote their marketing materials and knew what industries they served. I just didn’t know what their software actually *did*. I got the job and worked there for 7 years.

  141. AvonLady Barksdale*

    I was interviewing for a position in my field at a company I really wanted to join. Everything was really well aligned– I was completely qualified for the job, it was a great next step, I knew the department VP from a previous position, all that good stuff. I met with the senior manager and we got along really well. Then at one point I leaned over to put something in a folder (I think it was an extra copy of my resume) and I got a paper cut on my middle finger, right below the nail, from the folder. OK, I thought, this happens. Then it started gushing blood EVERYWHERE. I am not a person who gets super embarrassed, and I am usually quite prepared, but not even my treasure trove of tissues could stop that thing. The senior manager ran and got me a Band-Aid. She was really nice about it, though I think it made her nervous. It definitely put me off my game. They never called me back and I was bummed, but I figured that’s gonna happen when you bleed all over the conference room table.

    … But about two or three years later, I learned that my cut finger had nothing to do with it. I ran into the VP I knew at a conference– he was going down the escalator, I was going up. He gave me a “wait there” and came back up to tell me that I had been his first choice but they froze the position right after my interview (this was back in 2006 or 2007, I think, there was a lot of freezing going on– even before the financial crisis). He was very sweet to tell me (a super nice guy), and at that point I had been promoted above that role, and I have to say I was relieved that it wasn’t because I sliced open my finger on a file folder.

  142. De Minimis*

    I had a long stretch of unemployment during the recession, but had gotten an interview with the county. It was a panel interview and I had a combination of nerves and just not having as much experience as they wanted for what was supposedly an entry-level job. I had not done well in my previous position and just couldn’t come up with a lot of good material to have good answers to interview questions.
    I faltered with a lot of my answers and had a deer in the headlights look for a lot of it. One of the interviewers in particular was very tough on me.

    When they had the section of the interview where they asked if I had anything else to add, I more or less begged them to hire me, promising that I would learn quickly and do a good job. It didn’t work. And when I left, I mistakenly took the printout they gave me of the list of questions that was supposed to be kept there for the next candidate!

    To make it worse, this was the type of job where they’d called people in based on their score on an exam. I had the top score on the exam, so they called me in over and over again over the next couple of years, and I met with the one interviewer who didn’t seem to like me at least three other times [the next time he made sure to tell me to not take the paper with the questions before I left…] I performed a little better in future interviews, but was never offered the job. After the fifth or sixth time, I eventually got to where I turned down interviews with them and quit trying to get hired there, because it was obvious that my experiences and qualifications at the time weren’t what they were looking for.

    All my other bad interviews were more about the interviewer being bad [one person had requested my resume and then apparently just called me in to berate me about why I hadn’t found work yet and what had I been doing this whole time…in a location that had 15% unemployment!]

      1. De Minimis*

        That was one of the rare times I did not bother with a thank you e-mail!

        What I think happened was I’d sent a resume/letter of interest to the company a couple of years before. They then had an opening and he contacted me and asked me to send a copy of my updated resume. I was still unemployed, so my resume was basically unchanged. I think he had expected that I’d found work during the intervening years. Also, it was obvious he hadn’t even looked at the resume until the interview…

        Thankfully, I was offered a job elsewhere the following day, so this only stung for a brief period.

    2. The Man, Becky Lynch*

      He was so salty over you accidentally taking a piece of paper with you…that guy is total weirdo and enough to not want to work there, just wtfffffff. No wonder they were hiring so often since you say they kept calling you back in to try over *face desk*

  143. Amy Sly*

    Two stories:
    I managed to get an interview for an attorney job at the city government. (This was back when I was getting maybe one interview for every 10 or 20 applications while I was working part-time at the mall, so desperation city.) I “just happened” to drop that my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and step-mother-in-law all worked for the city as well. Yeah … Even places that are nepotistic as hell don’t respond to it that openly.

    Some years later, I had my first Skype interview, with my document review agency recruiter. Now, I knew abstractly that Skype had video conferencing ability as well as voice, but when the recruiter asked me to turn my camera on, she discovered that I had not changed out of my pajamas. I then tried to do my best to keep the camera on facial closeups. Amazingly, I did get that job.

  144. Chronic Overthinker*

    Ooooh, I have had some bombs. Some to the point where I think I’ve blocked them from my memory.

    I do remember one where I messed up the interview time. I think we had originally scheduled for the morning, then switched to the afternoon. I forgot to write down the new time and showed up for the original meeting time. I stayed in the reception area for about 30 minutes past and was escorted to an empty conference room for an hour. By that time I was nervous and twitchy. We had the interview. It went marginally well. I was unemployed and eager to work so my answers were genuine and pretty on point, even though it wasn’t work that was really in my wheelhouse. I aced the skills test and got an offer a week later. About a week prior to the start date, I got an email saying the start date needed to be pushed back and they didn’t have a new date set yet. Then they said I should interview for the other position (in a completely different field). (RED FLAGS!) Yeah, needless to say, the job offer never got a new start date and I think the contract ended up getting cut altogether.

    Honestly, I think it saved me from work that I don’t think I would have been satisfied in and it helped me get my organizational skills on point for future jobs/interviews. All mistakes are lessons in disguise.

  145. Tibby*

    Interviewed for a summer job at a greenhouse when I was in college. The interviewer asked my where I saw myself in ten years, and I cheerfully replied with “Not working at a greenhouse!”

    Did not get that job.

    1. AnotherAlison*

      Reminds me of when hopeful-professional-job interviewers asked me about my college telemarketing job. I enthusiastically shared my hatred of that job. Then they told me the interview was for an applications engineer, which meant I would be on the phone doing with customer support all day. I didn’t recover from that flub.

  146. Unemployed Friendless Statue*

    I lock up in interviews more often than I care to count. If I’m lucky, I’ll panic enough that I manage to blurt out something vaguely related to the question, but more often than not, they may as well be interviewing a statue.

    Other than that, the moment I still remember with absolute, cringe-inducing clarity is from my first ever job interview, for a weekend library assistant post whilst I was still in high school. Naturally, the bloke wanted to know how I would act if a friend came in and wanted to chat whilst I was on duty.

    “Well, I don’t have any friends, so that’s not a worry.” I replied, with complete sincerity. Not the (only) reason I didn’t get the job, but I’m pretty sure it contributed.

  147. Akcipitrokulo*

    When I was a young looking 20-ish kid, I applied for a job in a hospital as a counsellor. Yeah – looking back I thought I had all the experience – and tbh I did have a lot more than they thought – but it was never going to happen that they’d send someone half the age of a bereaved parent to get them to open up to them.

  148. Kramerica Industries*

    8 years ago, I had an interview with a health care company in their marketing department as their summer intern. I think they were asking me about an example to show my ethics and what I’ve learned. I basically went on a rant about how someone stole one of my tweets and it went semi-viral, which taught me important lessons in plagarism and letting go of being mad about someone stealing my tweet.

  149. Dave*

    I was a first year long term substitute teacher at one of the state’s most challenging school districts. I accepted a job interview at another school district for a permanent teaching position. The interview seemed to be going well until they described why they were terminating their present first year teacher and looking for a new victim. I questioned why they thought I could do a better job taking over an impossible task for a first year teacher and if they considered revising the job to put their new candidate into a position to succeed. I did not get the job and the person who did also failed miserably.

    1. anonbanonon*

      At least you were honest, though. I’m currently in a youth outreach position where when I started I was like “Gosh, I wonder why people don’t stay in this position?” After three years, now I know.

  150. rnr*

    I was interviewing for a part time customer service type job in college. They asked me to talk about a time I dealt with a difficult customer, and I launched into a story about this awful customer I had to deal with at my previous retail job. Absolutely went off on it like I was telling my friends. Near the end I realized that was not what they were looking for and tried to salvage it, but the damage was done. I did not get the job.

  151. Jay*

    Med school interviews. First one: I went home to NY for two days during winter break before I went to FL to visit my grandparents. I brought a small bag with jeans and sweaters since I was taking summer clothes with me….and my dad informed me that he has arranged for me to have an interview the next day at the med school where he taught. My mother whisked me off to buy me a suit (that she picked out and I did not want or need) and a pair of boots with much higher heels than I normally wear. The interviewer kept me waiting for over thirty minutes and I sat quietly with my legs neatly crossed that whole time. When they called me back, I stood up in my unaccustomed high heels to discover that my foot and leg were completely asleep. I managed not to fall but I limped conspicuously into the room and have no memory of the interview.

    Second: the only time I was interviewed by a woman (this was 1981). All the interviewers had questions about why I was an English major instead of a bio or chem major. This woman looked at the (male) authors I was writing my independent work on and decided I was inadequately feminist. “Why didn’t you choose to write about women?” Um, because patriarchy? I had no coherent answer.

    Third: the most prestigious institution that deigned to interview me. Interviewer spends five minutes looking at my folder, which he has clearly not seen before. Says “Didn’t do too well in second semester of organic chemistry.” I said “No.” Turns a page. Says “Didn’t do too well on the MCATs.” “No.” Turns another page. “Didn’t bring your scores up the second time you took them.” “No.” Closes the folder and asks “What department is your father in?” I say “Um, he’s a cardiologist, but he doesn’t work here.” Interviewer looks puzzled. “Then why does your folder have a blue star on it?” I take a guess and say “Maybe because he went to med school here?” Interviewer says “What year?” “1958.” “What’s his name?” “Jim Levy.” “Why don’t I know him?” “Um. I have no idea.” “Where is he now?” “Westchester Medical Center.” “Oh! He must know George Reade!” “Yes.” Interviewer talks for ten minutes about George Reade, who was the chief of cardiothoracic surgery at my dad’s institution. He asked me one last question: “Do you know if George Reade has remarried?” I go home, call my mother, and tell her I am clearly not getting into Prestigious Medical School. I tell her the whole story. She asks who the interviewer was and I tell her his name. She makes a very unladylike and uncharacteristic noise and says “Do you remember I told you that your father had the measles when he was in med school? And he was in the hospital and there was a resident who told me he was going to die? THAT WAS THE RESIDENT.”

    3. pamela voorhees*

      im losing it this is the most peak medical school interview story i’ve ever heard, i’m so sorry this happened to you but gOD

    4. sheep jump death match*

      There’s something almost poetic or maybe theatrical about the third one! It’s practically a David Mamet scene. So much going on in those terrible declarative sentences!

  152. Nesprin*

    I was asked “if you were a puzzle piece, which one would you be?” My response “I dunno, the little blue one in the corner” since I was caught off guard and matched absurdity with absurdity. They asked “why?” I blurted out “Wait, was that a serious question?”

    I did not get the job.

    1. Thankful for AAM*

      I can often think of a good answer for those kinds of very poor questions. How would anyone answer that one.

      A piece that both fit in/connected with the other pieces and was colorful so it was noticed?

      A piece the other pieces followed?

      The last piece because it completes the picture.

      But never the missing piece!

      1. Jules the 3rd*

        The piece that makes you realize it’s a cat, not a cloud – I help people make sense out of the data.

    2. Alan*

      If someone asked me such an inane question in an interview I would like to think I would just say ‘A piece to a different puzzle’ and get up and walk out the door

  153. Thankful for AAM*

    Did, did you just read my mind?
    I just bombed an interview at one of the few places I could work except my current job/employer!

    1. I completely overshared on the, tell us about a work conflict, question. I dont know what happened but I lost my mind. It was bad.
    2. They asked if I had any other qualifications to add. They meant, tell us anything great about you that we have not covered. I heard, do you have any other certifications or other formal qualifications? I mumbled incoherently.

    Those are the highlights. The whole thing went badly on my part.

  154. Ouch*

    I applied to a fairly big-deal (locally) internship during high school, and right before, I bit my lip and was bleeding the entire time. The interviewers offered me a tissue so I was blotting my lip for half of it. Whew. Bad time.

  155. Daisy-dog*

    In my first job out of college I was working a low-level position, but the company had a manager-in-training program. I asked the store manager about it and she just said, “Yes, you’re great – I’ll get the district manager out here to interview you.” Turns out, the store manager actually was supposed to do a first round interview using pre-set questions. When the district manager came for the interview, she insisted on doing both sets of questions on her own. It took forever and my answers became very redundant – I’d only had 1 prior job and 2 rather crappy internships. I also slowly starting slouching further and further into my chair. The district manager’s interview technique was to ask me the question on the paper and takes notes – without looking at me unless she had a follow-up question. In the end, I asked what the next steps would be. She said there wouldn’t be any next steps and gave me a lot of bad feedback all at once. I don’t even know why she kept the interview going for so long – she knew that she wasn’t going to advance me after the fifth question. She even had a tone of disdain when she gave me the one compliment of the day – my outfit was cute.

  156. Shunken Hippo*

    I was interviewing for a position as a childrens’ activity coordinator at a library. I aced every question except the one about what programs I wanted to do. You know, the one question I had spent days researching and brain storming for. My brain froze up and I babbled about something and I could see the enthusiasm in their eyes die. The worst part is I still go to that library on a regular basis and have to talk to the head librarian who had been at the interview. It was over a year ago and I still cringe internally whenever I say hi to her.

  157. LR*

    After being stuck in a job with a terrible passive-aggressive, micromanaging boss for several years, I landed a management interview at The Hot New Place in town. The company was a well known hospitality organization with hotels, spas, and memberships worldwide. The position lined up with what I was doing, but with a great expansion in the scope and much better salary, so I was very excited.

    Then I met the hiring manager. It was clear they thought extremely highly of themselves as an organization and but this woman just oozed condescension with every statement and question she made.

    She asked how I like to be creative – I said I like to bake and explained why that was a good outlet for me. Her response? “Well, I’m a stylist and own my own store in addition to working here full time, so that is really more the sort of activity we’re looking for. And isn’t baking kind of an old people thing?”

    She asked me how I might increase a key metric if I got the position and I asked what the current state of that metric was and what the future goals surrounding it were. She literally waved her hand in the air and said “Why is that important? It’s not. Answer the question.”

    But the real kicker was when she stated the following, “As I’m sure you know sexual harassment is something that happens in hospitality and here at The Hot New Place we have to deal it.” I said, “Yes, it’s unfortunate. Happily I’ve always worked in places that put the employee first and address those incidents head on.” Her response, “No, I mean we just have to deal with it. We can’t risk upsetting the guests or members!”

    I excused myself shortly thereafter and went to the nearest bar where I proceeded to drink much too much for a Tuesday night while I made a seating chart for my wedding two weeks later. Shockingly, I never heard back.

    2. Massmatt*

      So what she actually means is, “We do not deal with it”!

      Bullet dodged, it sounds like a terrible, terrible company that caters the many Weinsteins of the world.

  158. Krabby*

    I had an interview for an internal communications role for a popular chain of fitness centers. The interview was set up in three parts, a 30 minute test, a 30 minute workout with my potential boss in their nearest location, followed by a 30 minute interview back in the office. The workout was apparently to assess culture fit, but looking back I now recognize it as an insane thing to ask someone to do for an office job.

    The workout portion was, unsurprisingly, a nightmare. I wasn’t in terrible shape, but I /was/ in terrible shape compared to my potential manager. I thought it would be a light workout, but she added a bunch of weight to every machine I used even after I told her that was good. We did a ton of different sets and she kept telling me to, “Push through the burn, we want to see your tenacity!” I felt like I was dying by the end of the thirty minutes and was only given five minutes to get back into my interview clothes and get back to the interview room. I didn’t even have time to look at myself in the mirror.

    I thought the interview went pretty well and I left feeling confident. I got a few funny looks on the bus, but I didn’t think too much about it.

    When I got home, my boyfriend physically recoiled when he saw me. I looked in the mirror and I looked deranged. My face was tomato red and frightening. My hair (which is fairly bushy generally but had been straightened that morning) was in a full halo around my head, sticking almost straight up. I also hadn’t realized that, even though I rubbed myself down quickly after the workout, I had continued to sweat and done it right through my blazer. I had full sweat rings under each arm. I do not know how my interviewer kept a straight face while we spoke.

    Moral of the story: I didn’t get the job, but that was probably for the best.

      1. Krabby*

        Right!? The things we put up with when we don’t know any better. I still can’t believe I didn’t question that.

          1. Krabby*

            I was told it was “to simulate the work environment.” Apparently the whole team went to the gym on their lunch breaks. I’m still very curious if that piece of it was a standard interview practice for every position in the company or if it was a rogue department going all in on a bad decision.

  159. Andrew*

    Many years ago i was second in command at a small community organizing non-profit in a very large city. Part of our culture was to include our community leaders – volunteers from the low-income communities that we worked with – to serve on our interview panels. Most of these folks were older retirees on fixed incomes, they were typically really sweet people who tried their best. The group of volunteers I worked with most were from a nearby church and called themselves the SOLS – the sweet old lady squad. We coached them a lot about how to remain professional in interviews, but they would always surprise us with weird questions or interveiw energy.

    We were interviewing for an office manager and finance guy, and one interviewee was a Very Attractive Gentleman in his early 20s, and everyone on the panel was charmed by him immediately (to be fair, he was probably the most good-looking person I have ever met in real life). Towards the end of the interview, we asked him about the accomplishmnets he was most proud of, and he started talking about his fitness routine, his body, and the fact that he had been booked for some modeling shoots in the past year. THe SOLS kept clamoring to know more, asking questions like “Have you been in the room with Famous Model?” “OMG, which part of your body is your favorite??” “Do you have abs??” etc. – i kep trying to shut it down hard, explaining that these questions were inappropriate, but it kept happening and he loved the attention so much he TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF TO SHOW THEM HIS ABS and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole while my panel was squealing with delight. After the interview awkwardly ended and I had a VERY stern conversation with my panel, I called the gentleman to apologize and he laughed and said it was OK. We scheduled a second interview with me and the CEO but he never showed.

    About a year later I saw him bartending at a ritzy bar downtown. We chatted briefly, and when I sheepishly reminded him that I met him at a job interview that went of the rails he started laughing, and told me he decided the job sounded so boring that he didn’t want it… so he just decided to mess with me and flirt with the committee “because they seemed like such nice old ladies”. I thanked him for not suing us into the ground and left him a $100 tip, and I never saw him again.

    1. annakarina1*

      That is pretty funny that he started trolling people and going all Chippendale’s in the interview room. I’m glad that he wasn’t embarrassed and things worked out for him.

  160. voluptuousfire*

    Years ago, I interviewed for an office manager role for a small tech company. This role also included working with helping them fill a few roles. It was definitely an odd company. The interviewer had left me a voicemail to set up a time to go onsite and she sounded rather harassed. This was the first time I met with anyone from the company (no phone screen). I got to the office and it was dead quiet, which seemed really odd for a tech firm. I met with the interviewer and the entire interview lasted less than 10 minutes. She seemed really stressed and was not very pleasant to me and was upset that my recruitment experience didn’t precisely align with what she needed. She escorted me out and while I’m waiting for the elevator, she went into the copy room which was right next door and proceeded to rip up my resume. I could audibly hear the paper tearing since the office was so quiet. Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

    I’m still shocked someone thought my candidacy was bad enough to tear up my resume when I was still there!

    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      I got to the office and it was dead quiet, which seemed really odd for a tech firm.

      I interviewed for a tech writing position once at a software company and expected it to look kind of fun and eccentric on the inside. It was not. None of the cubicles had a single cartoon or action figure in sight. I don’t know if my expectations were out of whack, or if I happened onto one of those places that forbids personal items on desks.

  161. ashie*

    I was interviewing at a company I had worked closely with in my previous job, with a lot of people I knew fairly well. I could feel an S-bomb coming but I couldn’t stop myself in time. Oh well, I didn’t really want the job anyway.

    1. ashie*

      I should clarify because that makes it sound like I pooped myself. I said a naughty word. Should not have done that.

      1. jay*

        I posted this in another comment but I think the filter ate it, but you are not alone!

        I had a second interview for a job in a fairly conservative field (finance-related) that required relocation across several states to a very expensive city, and the company would be paying for it (including paying for a real estate broker to find me someplace to live, movers, etc.). Because it was the second interview, and I knew we were down to two candidates (me and someone local), the higher-ups were included, and one of them (the equivalent of what would be my great-grandboss) told me in a very serious tone that he needed to make absolutely sure that I was serious about this job, because moving me would be a substantial investment (and also this was during the recession and jobs in my field were rare and highly competitive).

        I’m pretty competent in my field, but I’m also a big ole butch lesbian who was also born and raised in the hillbilly part of the rural South and that, shall we say, affects the way I interact with people unless I’m trying very consciously to do otherwise. So. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Of-fucking-COURSE I’m serious, y’all! I wouldn’t have dragged my ass all the way to [city] for this interview if I wasn’t.” It wasn’t, like, angry in tone or anything, but that’s just how I talk under regular/informal circumstances, and it popped out immediately because I did care a lot about the job. Half a second later, I realized what I had said, and continued, “Oh shit, excuse my language” (yup, that’s helping!) and literally had to cover my mouth to keep myself from talking.

        I still got the job, and have been here for over a decade. (Turned out great-grandboss was also gay and Southern, and he had a real good laugh about it!)

  162. whistle*

    I used to be in academia where aggressive interviews are not uncommon. I was five days away from being unemployed and nothing had come through yet for the next academic year. I had a phone interview with about my last option for university employment in the fall, so I was really geared up and eager to impress.

    The questions started off adversarial and just got worse from there. They kept asking why my dissertation made use of a certain model (which was the most widely accepted model in the field at the time, but this department happened to not like that model). Everything I said led to more antagonizing comments. I was on the verge of tears, but fortunately held it together until hanging up the phone. I just remember crying and thinking “Why did they even interview me? They knew my research used this model…” Then it clicked – they interviewed me specifically to grill me about my research and put me in my place. They had no intention of hiring me and just wanted to make a point.

    Well, they made their point. As I said, I used to be in academia…

    1. anonbanonon*

      :OOOOOOOO

      WOW. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Like, I’m in no way surprised but I also can’t believe someone would be petty enough to go through the trouble just to be a dick.

      1. Cedrus Libani*

        I also used to be in academia (in the sense that I ran screaming the moment I was done with the PhD) and I have absolutely no trouble believing this story. Just as some people do physical contact sports to have a space where it’s socially acceptable to beat weaker people into submission…there are other people who do mental contact sports for the same reason.

  163. VALCSW*

    First job interview after graduating from college. Was midway through a very lengthy rambling answer when I realized I had forgotten the question entirely; my mind was BLANK. I stopped & said, “I’m sorry, um…what was your question again?” I did not get the job.

    1. irene adler*

      You’re brave. That’s happened to me a few times and I’ve never had the guts to ask like you did.

  164. Dex*

    When I was 16 or so, my parents were encouraging me to get a job, so I walked around the local mall asking for applications. I applied at a very hip indie record store and was making small talk with two employees while I filled out the paper application. They asked me where I usually bought my music. “Oh, I don’t. I just download it from Napster. It’s free and you can get anything!” I said with the breezy innocence of a kid with zero guile. I saw them exchange a *look*, but it was years before I realized how awful that answer was. Major retroactive cringe. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. They probably threw my application in the trash the minute I walked out the door!

    More recently, I’d been laid off from a job after working for a year as a lawyer, and was applying for anything I could find. I got called in to interview for a job with a state agency that sounded like a cool opportunity. After a few warm up questions, they started asking me what specific case law I would cite to defend various arguments in court. Unfortunately, my past work hadn’t required using that body of law, and although I’d researched the work the agency did, it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d need to be able to cite actual cases in the interview! I had NO IDEA what to say. Never has there been a series of longer or more uncomfortable silences, as they asked question after question I couldn’t answer. Later in the interview, one of them mentioned in passing that they were also interviewing one of my (extremely experienced) references for the same position. This woman has 20+ years more practice under her belt than I do. To this day, I have no idea why they called me in. I was so clearly unqualified.

    But those silences. Oof. Burning shame.

  165. Tina Belcher's Less Cool Sister*

    Oh man, my very first job interview when I was a senior in college was a disaster. It’s a really good thing I didn’t get the job because I would have hated it, but when the asked me about my weaknesses I said something to the effect of “I have a hard time taking direction”. Not at all what I meant but that’s definitely what came out of my mouth. Needless to say, I did not get a call back…

    1. Tina Belcher's Less Cool Sister*

      Oh, and I had a weird interaction with an internal recruiter for a job I applied to a couple of years ago. During our phone interview he asked what I would do if I didn’t have to work, and I said I would still want to work to make people’s lives better (seemed like the right answer for work in nonprofit/education). He responded “Oh… I thought you’d say you wanted to help animals since it says on your resume you volunteer at an animal shelter”. How am I supposed to respond to that???

  166. AnonChemist*

    My most painful interview was my first one out of grad school. I was in the lobby waiting for the interviewer, and when he arrived to meet me, I lurched out of the chair way too quickly and slammed my shin into the glass coffee table, almost faceplanting. He was really concerned and offered ice, but I didn’t want to make a fuss, so I pretended it was fine. I made it through the hour-long panel interview and avoided dripping blood in their floor, albeit probably with some awful grimaces every time I inadvertantly moved my leg under the table.

    When I got out to the parking lot and inspected the damage in the car, I had an inch and a half high goose egg on my shin. Got the job, but not how I wanted to break into the working world. At least I didn’t shatter the table?

  167. anonbanonon*

    I started a new job as a temp with a local college when I was in my early 20’s and not as qualified or experienced as I thought I was at the time (typical 20’s behavior) and when I met one of the other staff I was nervous and went “Wow,
    are you ok? You look tired.” She took it in stride and playfully smacked her face a couple of times like oh I’m up, but dang I think about that all the time now. Needless to say, it ended up being a bad fit and I left about a year later. lol

  168. anon1990*

    I went into an interview for a semi-admin position. Beginning went great and then they wanted to give me a scenario to work on while they left the room for a bit. Basically “you get this vague email from your boss asking for a flight and lunch, figure out what kind of options to give him etc.”. So they give me the laptop and walk out of the room. I try to begin working but I can’t get the mouse to move. I’m trying the track-pad, the little rubber mouse thing on the keyboard. Nothing is working. I try weird F keys to see if that could help me tab through applications maybe.

    So then I get in my head like is it actually a test of how resourceful I am and I should use my phone? Anyway I step out to try and find the woman and explain I can’t get the laptop to work but she’s nowhere to be found. I sit there for 15 minutes doing nothing. She comes back in and I am so apologetic saying that I tried to find her but I think the laptop isn’t working and I can’t move the mouse. She then brings over the WIRELESS MOUSE that was obstructed from view behind her bag. I has to stupidly tell her I never saw it. So no, I did not get a call back. Although the agency I went through had gotten bad feedback on her interviewing other candidates so they think it might have been on purpose to kind of hide the mouse as she didn’t want to give up her role. In reality I think I was just dumb – but it’s a great story.

  169. Mae West*

    Years ago I met with the career counselor for help with getting an internship. After asking my major and what I hoped for, she asked what types of jobs my family members had. She then told me that since my family were blue collar workers, I should not expect to achieve anything higher. After graduating a couple of years later, the HR rep at my first professional job told me that I wouldn’t be interviewed for a different role at the same company because I wasn’t “the right caliber”. Their opinions were based on my social capital and not my grades/experience. I still feel angry at these two women who made be feel small and unworthy. And yes, I have achieved more.

      1. Yvonne*

        Many years ago, I applied for an office job. I don’t even remember what it was. This was back when most places had installed computers for everything but some, particularly small businesses like the one I applied to, hadn’t. They talked to me for awhile and asked me to take a typing test. I had been working in data entry and my typing skills were really good and I had put my speed and accuracy on my resume. Now I’d learned to type in high school on an electric typewriter but had spent my last few years working on computers. The thing about typing on a computer is that you can fix mistakes as you go and it barely affects your speed. Not only can you not do that on a typewriter, but also the keyboard feels wildly different. They took me into a room and sat me down in front of an electric typewriter. I knew I was doomed. I’ve never been more professionally mortified than handing over that error riddled mess. I felt like they just thought I was lying on my resume.

        1. AnnaBananna*

          Wow. That’s kind of dirty on their part. I will also say that growing up in the 90’s, and its early chat rooms (hello AOL), made me ridiculously fast at typing as an adult. I mean, absurdly so. But if you had me using a typewriter I wouldn’t even know how to function.

        2. CatMintCat*

          It works the other way too – my mother was a crack typist back in the day. On a manual typewriter she competed in (and won) races and competitions and had clocked 132wpm (absurdly fast). On her last job interview in her 50s they put her in front of a computer, which she had never used. It wasn’t pretty.

          1. Carlie*

            I was on the cusp of the revolution in my teenaged years and my school offered both typing (on typewriters) and keyboarding (on computers) classes. They were very different classes!

    4. FormerFirstTimer*

      That’s ridiculous. The only difference between “blue-collar” and “white collar” is that blue collar workers get dirtier while they’re working hard.

    5. Tidewater 4-1009*

      I encounter this attitude socially. A woman I’ve known for 20 years. Her husband is a good friend. People think she’s “classy” with her good manners and graceful style.
      She has consistently treated me like an idiot while I tried to make friends with her, and invited everyone except me to her parties.
      I think this has been bothering me lately because I’ve given up on her. IMHO she is not classy at all, or she would recognize the value in everyone.

      2. Sinister Serina*

        She is not classy at all, because class and good manners mean everyone is welcome and treated hospitably. She’s the opposite of that.

    6. Tidewater 4-1009*

      Also, what happened to Mae West is class warfare. The middle class trying to keep the working class in their place.
      Good for you Mae, proving them wrong! :)

      1. Not So NewReader*

        This kind of makes me chuckle. To some one who would ever say this with sincerity I guess the response is “And the middle class does not work???” ouch, ouch, ouch.

        1. Tidewater 4-1009*

          I was thinking of people who have middle-class incomes and think they’re superior to trades people, servers, etc. …Not all middle-class people are like this, but it sounds like Mae’s so-called counselors were.

    7. Melly*

      In college I interviewed for a summer student position managing visiting groups on campus. The girls that interviewed me were both cute, skinny, Valley girl types, just a year or two older than me. I’d gained the freshman 15 (+25!). I could feel them judging me the entire time. One of them asked me in a horrifyingly snotty voice, “What do you think we’re gonna say about you when you leave here?” My answer was clearly not the right one. I don’t think I could’ve possible said the right thing.

      1. DragonAttack*

        “Don’t know, don’t care, but here’s something I’ll say about you right now: You’re a bitch.”

    8. Seeking Second Childhood*

      The counselor blew it. The way to do a job right is to point out any specific behaviors where the “better caliber” candidates have a lead on you so you can work on it! New clothing, for example, can be obtained if you’re told your choices aren’t formal enough.
      I’m angry on your behalf.

    9. So long and thanks for all the fish*

      A friend of mine (who’s only about 24 now) had this experience with her academic advisor in college. It kept her in a PhD program she wasn’t interested in for about ~2 years too long, because she felt like leaving would be proving her advisor right.

        1. n*

          There are a million reasons to leave PhD programs that have nothing to do with a person’s abilities, intelligence, or potential. Graduate schools are generally dysfunctional places that train in highly specialized but not always useful ways and tend to exploit their students for underpaid labor. I have a PhD; it doesn’t show anything about my “caliber.”

    10. Retired and Happy Now*

      When I started looking around at colleges, there was one highly selective state school that was on my short list. My guidance counselor told my parents that they should tell me not to get my hopes too high because only one student from my high school had ever been accepted and I was not likely to be happy there anyway. I applied anyway, was accepted, awarded an academic scholarship, enrolled, was successful both academically and socially, and completed my B.A,. in four years. My mother ran into the guidance counselor in the grocery store at one point and was able to deliver the news that I ha made the dean’s list. I wish I had been there to see her face!

    11. Artemesia*

      Wow! A serious girlfriend of my son years ago was a super student who graduated college at 20 and got a masters in International Relations from George Washington — she got into Georgetown but couldn’t afford to go there. When she was trying to get an internship with the state department she was told ‘we reserve our positions for top candidates’. Sitting there with her Summa cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa, and 4.0 masters degree she asked ‘how am I not a competitive candidate? Answer — ‘oh we only look at people from Georgetown and the top Ivies’

      1. Happily Self Employed*

        I was trying to apply to a small business incubator (not like Y Combinator, some kind of thing for disabled sole proprietors). The application asked for my education, which included a different program’s small business prep certificate and a master’s degree in biology from the state university. My listed experience included supporting my thesis research with grants I had written myself.

        The interviewer looked at my folder, looked back at me like I had said my business plan was to sell child porn, and told me I would need to write a business plan for their lawyers to review to see if my business looked viable… but they didn’t think I should waste time trying, because only **educated** candidates are ever accepted. And I would need at least a credit score of 800 to qualify for the loan package. (I didn’t even want a loan package. I wanted help setting up my inventory system.)

  170. Apathetic Care Bear*

    This was more a problem with the interviewer than with me, but it’s still the most incredible bombed interview I’ve ever had. One of the first jobs I ever applied for after I graduated college was an assistant job for a VP at a small independent company that was sort of under the umbrella of a large university.

    When I arrived, the VP wasn’t there yet, so another person in the office pulled me in for an impromptu interview. That interview was going pretty well until suddenly it…wasn’t? We went from bonding over my (very subtle, I swear) Star Wars lapel pins and having a relatively normal professional conversation to cold stares and snippy questions like a switch got flipped. Total freeze out. To this day, I have no idea what I could have possibly said to warrant such a change.

    An awkward five minutes or so later, the VP showed up, so I was told to follow him to his office. What followed was the single most confrontational conversation I have ever had. He kept explaining that he needed an assistant who could challenge him and “call him on his bullsh*t” and if I couldn’t commit to doing that, I shouldn’t waste his time.

    He kept firing off questions and never really let me finish answering. Sometimes I wouldn’t even get to start answering—if I took a beat to think about my response to one of his questions (some of which were RIDICULOUS), he’d just make an aggrieved “aaagh” sound and wave his hand around impatiently and move on to barking another question at me. He made a lot of aggressively intense eye contact basically the whole time.

    By the time he started adding “don’t think, just answer” to the ends of his questions, I had already had enough. I didn’t quite walk out of the interview (although if this happened today, I absolutely would), but I put on my most nonplussed face, crossed my arms, and started giving monosyllabic answers while waiting out the clock. Post-recession economy be damned, I knew I wouldn’t be taking that job if they begged me. (They did not beg me. They did not call me back. I was not surprised in the least.)

    A few months later, at the job I eventually did get, I found out one of my new coworkers had worked there briefly as an office manager before moving onto her current job. She said she made it about two months before she quit; the whole office was that toxic. And the VP I interviewed with? Apparently delighted in bragging to his coworkers about how he employed Israeli special forces interrogation techniques in job interviews. You know, to keep people on their toes.

  171. FormerFirstTimer*

    At one interview I had, not only did I not know what a key term actually meant, I was so nervous I could. not. stop. talking. I walked out of that interview completely mortified and convinced I wouldn’t be getting a callback. Not only did I get the call, but I also got the job without having to do a second-round interview. I’ve been here three years come April. They overlooked me not knowing what a key term meant because literally no one outside the field knows what it means. I still have trouble explaining it to laypeople.

    1. Happily Self Employed*

      Maybe you won the interview because you didn’t try to BS them about the key term when you didn’t know it.

  172. Antilles*

    I was the hiring manager for this one, not the candidate, but this far and away the craziest story of “bombed interviews” I’ve personally encountered, so here we go:
    At my last company, we did fairly comprehensive interviews that took up most of a day. Because of that, we’d fly candidates in the day before, rent them a car, and put them up in a hotel next to the office so they could get ready rather than sprinting from a red-eye flight straight to the interview. We arrange all the travel and this candidate comes in..
    I’m the first interview of the day with him at 8:30 am. To help break the ice, I go into the normal casual chit-chat about how was your flight, everything okay at the hotel, blah blah blah. His response, summarized:
    “Flight was fine, checked into the hotel at like 5 pm, no worries. But since I’d never been to Atlanta before, I wanted to check out Buckhead and grab some drinks there. (ed.note: this is 45+ minutes each way from our outer-ring suburb). While there, I was grabbing a few beers and chatting up a girl at the bar, buying her shots, the usual. We were really hitting it off, then she interrupted me with ‘you know I’m available for money, right?’ Well, you know how it goes… (trails off). Anyways, it was a good evening.”
    Still can’t believe he thought that was an appropriate anecdote to share with an interviewer he’d literally just met 5 minutes earlier.
    He was way off the mark in other ways too (totally unprepared about the company, flirting with the waitress when we took him out for lunch, seemed to not even know his own transcript or resume, etc)…but even years later, wow, just wow.

    1. Drew*

      “Obviously, I didn’t want to waste my money even though I was sorely tempted, which shows you how frugal I can be.”

  173. Nea*

    In the middle of a tech writing interview, I was asked who my favorite author was. I answered, then got asked how that person’s style related to technical writing.

    “Uh, not at all? (Short explanation of why).”

    One of the interviewers later went on to enthuse about how Hemingway’s style, so I’m assuming that I didn’t get the job because my pleasure reading and my work writing are not the same thing.

  174. Suburban Bumpkin*

    I had worked for a couple years in an art gallery in Flint, MI, but really wanted to move to a bigger city. There were all kinds of gallery jobs in NYC, so I applied to lots of those. I did have a pretty stellar resume at the time so I naively assumed it wouldn’t be much trouble to get a job there, even though I’d only been to New York twice before in my life. My more sophisticated cousin warned me that those types of gallery jobs in NYC usually go to ~cool girls~ with rich parents and lots of connections.

    Finally an HR manager at a gallery called me for an interview–we’d gone to the same college and I think he took pity on me. I paid for my own ticket to NY and showed up for the interview on time, in a navy pinstripe pantsuit I’d bought from Macy’s just for the occasion.

    Everyone in the gallery, aside from the friendly HR manager, was dressed incredibly chic and understated… lots of black, skinny jeans (it was 2011), statement earrings. And here I was in my dumpy mall suit and a briefcase I’d borrowed from my mom. I knew immediately I wouldn’t make the cut and they let me know as much the next day.

    Lesson learned: know the culture of the industry you’re trying to break into, and the city you’re trying to move to. Four years later I did land a much better job in the city… at a fashion school, nonetheless.

  175. Drew*

    Two stories from different phases of my career:

    First, interviewing for my first teaching job. It was summer in the South and the school’s A/C had failed, so I was miserable waiting to talk to the assistant principal. He called me into his office and immediately told me to take off my coat and tie because it was way too hot to be that dressed up. Awesome. Great interview. Then I met with the principal, who told me I looked unprofessional for not wearing a coat and tie to a job interview. I still ended up getting the job but I should have seen that red flag for what it was, because that principal was one of the worst bosses I’ve ever had in any job, and the AP who interviewed me first left halfway through the year.

    Second, interviewing with Big Multinational Publisher because my small firm was shutting its doors. The interview was going well until the interviewer asked why most of my experience (freelance and staff) was with smaller firms, and I blurted out, “I really don’t like the corporate world.” I did not get that job.

  176. KayEss*

    A phone interviewer once asked me “tell me about something you learned in the past week.” I was unemployed and struggling with major depression—at that point, I hadn’t done anything professionally or intellectually invigorating in months. It was deeply embarrassing, and I very obviously struggled with my response—needless to say I did NOT receive a second call. I do use that question while interviewing candidates now, though.

    I’ve also been late for interviews a couple times. Once I somehow got the wrong DATE and showed up the day after I was supposed to interview, having inadvertently no-call no-showed. I was embarrassed, but not panic-attack devastated only because it was a position I was lukewarm at best about. They then interviewed me anyway, and it rapidly became this was a trash fire of a company desperate for talent in the face of relentless turnover… bad enough that I made sure to withdraw from consideration just in case they might have made me an offer after the whole debacle.

    1. Jules the 3rd*

      That is a startlingly hard question… I read a lot, and I can’t think of anything new I’ve learned in the last week. Except that Japanese police use padded cloths to roll up aggressive citizens and then carry them back to the station to calm down (google japanese police futon burrito for the bbc article…)

      1. KayEss*

        It really is! Also a very good question for the kind of role it was, and for pretty much every role in the education-adjacent company I’m at now. Sometimes I switch things up and ask candidates for certain roles about a recent (or at least recent-ish) time they TAUGHT someone something instead, just to see if they freeze or otherwise indicate that they don’t prioritize sharing knowledge or aren’t good at explaining concepts successfully to people unfamiliar with them.

    2. Rob aka Mediancat*

      I read all the time, so I’ll be able to come up with Something even if it’s “do you know that there was a movie that had both James Cagney and Samuel L. Jackson as credited actors?”

  177. MissGirl*

    They asked what new thing I’d done or learned in the last six months. I blurted out, “I went sea cave kayaking.” I saw the bless your heart look on her face. “You probably meant work related,” I stuttered. Took all my self control not to pull out the pictures when she said kayaking sounded like fun.

    Nope, I’m not 22. I was 35.

  178. Nodumbunny*

    My most recent interview was supposed to be over video – Skype or Zoom. I prepped for the interview, but didn’t doublecheck that I knew how to work the technology (which is not new to me but I’m no expert). Sure enough, I could get the audio to work, but not the video. Dumb mistake.

    1. Fikly*

      My last Zoom interview, my interviewer couldn’t get his video to work. Don’t feel too bad. He was HR.

  179. Granny K*

    I once backed into the president of my company’s Cadillac. Yes I dented the quarter panel. Yes I was insured. Yes, people waited until I left before pulling out of the parking lot for a while.

  180. Kyrielle*

    I had been invited in for an interview by a company at a job fair.

    On the way over, I stopped to not be early (I was wildly early, and near their office but not super-near…think a few minutes driving but a long walk), and to calm myself. I wandered through a store, got back to my car, and realized I had *locked my keys inside*.

    Getting roadside assistance would have taken over an hour; my mother was home and could bring me a spare key in about 30 minutes. So I called her…and then I called them (before the interview time) to explain that I would not be on time because I had locked my keys in the car and was waiting for someone to drive the spare key to me. (I don’t remember if I said it was my mother or not. I hope not.)

    They were very nice, pushed my interview back an hour (hour and a half?) and took their lunch early (apparently I was the last before-lunch interview).

    I was slightly shaky and unnerved in the interview, but I really couldn’t tell you how well I handled that part or didn’t, because really, I was already mortified and focused on that.

    …I got the job. (I took it, too, and worked at that company for quite a while.)

    1. Kyrielle*

      There was also the time I was applying for a stretch position and gamely tackled their various skills tests and whatnot…and took way longer than expected…without getting it done. And I forgot my suit jacket when I left the interview, too; one of my interviewers caught up with me in the parking lot to give me the jacket back.

      I did NOT get that job or any follow-up at all. I’m not surprised, and it’s for the best; I wasn’t a good fit, as I demonstrated repeatedly to myself and them. Whee.

  181. boop the first*

    I suspect I got too personable at the last interview, but I can’t be sure it was responsible for my devastating defeat…. he gave me a perfectly cromulent excuse for not hiring me, so I’m trying to take it at face value.

    But when I was 20, I had an interview that I thought was running smooth until it came to an awkward knot. The manager had asked me What Does “Pride” Mean to me personally?

    Having no context and not knowing where this question was going, my mind immediately turned to a recent conversation with my aunt, who’d said that my uncle’s pride led him to delay getting a diagnosis for his fatal lung cancer. He died within a year and it was a huge loss to the family, so it weighed heavily on me. It was bad timing.

    So casually (lol), I said that pride can be dangerous, that it can blind you to mistakes, close you off to constructive criticism and hinder your own development if you’re not too careful.

    He responded with “Uhhhhhhh…….. okay…. nobody has ever responded with that before… (awkward chuckle).” And then he launched into this long speech about how PROUD he was about his work, and how great he is, and how great the food is, etc.”

    And inside I was like “Ohhhhhhhhhh…. right, duh.” Total cringe.

    But I still stand by what I said. It was a restaurant job, and after working in food service for a decade, food bosses are so stereotypically full of themselves to the point of destroying their own businesses from the inside out. I hope my doofy answer at least wormed his way into his brain in some subconscious fashion.

    1. Jellyfish*

      Your answer was solid, even if it wasn’t the right place to deploy it. Once I was on the third round interview for a position I really wanted, and I was talking to the company president. He asked about my professional values, and I mentioned integrity, creativity, and perseverance maybe? That sounds like something I’d say. It wasn’t a bad answer in any case, but he clearly disagreed.

      He took a deep breath and said “well, OUR company values are A, B, C, D, & E!” I remember grit, resourcefulness, and tenacity – pretty related to what I’d said, but different terms. These values weren’t publicly listed or anything because I’d scoured their website many times by this point. Apparently I was supposed to guess the exact right words though, and I failed the test. Didn’t get that job.

      2. Jean*

        Oh my lolz, he sounds like a real piece of work. I can proudly say I would never work for a company that espouses “grit” as one of its core values. I would have had a hard time not saying something tongue-in-cheek like “Grit? You mean like…. dirt?”

  182. LizardOfOdds*

    Some of the stories here are amazing. Mine pales in comparison, but my absolute worst interview was with a company that sells outdoor gear – think camping, hiking, that kind of thing. The recruiter told me that the culture was very casual, so I should dress casually, and the campus is full of “crunchy people who love to be outdoors.” I did NOT listen, but I should have. Literally everyone I interviewed with, including the VP of the division, was wearing jeans and fleece and I showed up in a dress and heels. I felt incredibly awkward the whole time, which added to my nervousness, and I started giving completely ridiculous answers to their questions. COMPLETELY ridiculous.

    Interviewer: so, we love being outdoors! what do you like to do outdoors?
    Me: oh, nothing! I’d rather lick a toilet bowl clean than spend time outdoors. haha!
    Interviewer:
    Me: I mean… I… walk to my car in the mornings, I guess? And when I leave work I also walk… outdoors… to get to my car?

    I also spilled coffee on my fancy dress about halfway through, because that’s how I roll when I’m nervous.

    Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. Thank goodness!! It would have been a terrible culture fit for me.

    1. MissGirl*

      This is hilarious. I’m in the industry and it’s definitely a no-go if someone doesn’t express complete passion in the field. That’s a whole other problem because then you don’t always hire the best person for the job.

  183. Lizabeth*

    Interviewed with an ad agency early in my career (graphic designer here) and just “happened” to mention a radio ad that was really obnoxious for real estate – rental apartments. Yup, the ad agency produced it. The interviewer said, “See, we achieved what we wanted, you remembered it!” I said, “No, I remember it for the wrong reason and would NEVER step foot in the place.”

    Another one happened later in my career – an auction house in NYC. Interviewer had me do a test cover for a catalog. Then proceeded to grill me in a bored tone as to why I hadn’t done the auction house “style” cover while eating lunch in front of me (tuna fish sandwich, no less and stinky). I had a lot of interviews under my belt by now. The interviewer didn’t get the answer she was looking for and I had a lot of fun :))))))))

  184. HotSauce*

    Not me, but my mother told a story of interviewing for an office position shortly after giving birth to my younger sister. She’s what’s known as a “super producer” of milk and the interview ran long. By the end of it she had soaked through her pads, bra, sweater and blazer. Luckily the interviewer was a mom herself and told her not to worry! She was mortified, but ended up being offered the job and became fairly good friends with the hiring manager.

  185. Lyudie*

    Not as spectacular as some of these stories, but about 12 or so years ago I was interviewing for a mid-career but not-especially-senior writing position at a small company, I guess you could say they were an agency…they did writing for various companies, sort of like a specialized contract agency. Anyway, they started asking me questions about how I would handle a client who wanted more work than there was time for. I had always worked with a team/department lead who managed expectations, resourcing, etc. so I started with I would go to the lead to check priorities/expectations, said things like does the schedule need to slip or do expectations need to be managed, and they kept pushing “what if you had to do it all and in a short amount of time, they won’t pay for extra time and they would not budge on anything?” I guess they were trying to get me to say I’d work nights and weekends until it was done (and I did say I would do overtime as needed/when permitted by the contract) I think I finally ended up saying something brilliant like “I don’t know” or “I defer to management”. I did not get that job, though the HR guy said they liked me and now I was a known quantity, they’d consider me etc. in the future but I never heard from them again. Oddly another writer I worked with got a job there several years after this, and I suspect because he’s better at being glib than me (and writing, he didn’t last long from what I understand…).

  186. Long time listener, first time caller*

    I interviewed for a job working in neurology research. When the interviewer asked me why I wanted to work in neuro research I opened my mouth to say that it’s important to me because I have a family history of Alzheimer’s. I said “I have a family history of…of…um…” and my mind went completely blank. I forgot the word Alzheimer’s. I forgot all the words. I just sat there and look at the interviewer like I was the deer and she was the headlights. After what felt like an hour but was probably only 6 seconds she took pity on me and moved on to the next question.

  187. GigglyPuff*

    Had my first out of state, need to fly to another state, academic job interview. One of those dinner the night before, all day affairs with lunch and a presentation I had to do, straight to the airport at the end of the day.

    Well my doctor ended up upping the dosage of one of my medications, that I take at night. Made. Me. ILL. The plane left at 6am-ish, so taxi ride to the airport around 4am. Almost threw up in the cab cause it was so hot and stuffy. Got the airport, went to the bathroom, threw up. Checked in, went through security, went to the bathroom, threw up. Got some gatorade, tried to drink it, threw up. Got on the plane. Was supposed to be polishing up my presentation and writing all the notecards. Spent the entire time, breathing through my nose trying to control the nausea.

    Got to my layover, threw up, which there was basically nothing to throw up at that point, as I couldn’t even keep down water. Layover was at one of the NY airports during heavy construction, had no idea I had to switch buildings using a bus, took forever to find it. (Oh and I had totally overpacked, but it was a duffel without wheels, so had to lug this thing everywhere.) Threw up a few more times. Got on the next plane. There was a car waiting for me, place was about an hour away, almost fell asleep in the backseat (I never know if the places ask the hired cars about the interviewee but I usually try to ask questions about the area).

    Went out to dinner with the hiring manager, felt way better, was able to eat some, but I was pretty out of it, and it was obvious I wasn’t asking questions they expected. I guess they expected more questions about the next day, but I’d done these types before so I pretty much knew what to expect and just couldn’t fake it.

    Worst part: we ordered coffee at the end, which I still needed to go back to the hotel and work on my presentation, so I wanted the caffeine. Well there was this little jar and a spoon sitting on the table, waiter brought cream, so I added cream and sugar from the little jar. IT WASN’T SUGAR, it was totally salt. Then to make matters worse, I actually said to the manager “oh I just salted my coffee”. He, clearly surprised, offered to get the waiter to get a new cup. Nope, my poor shredded brain for some reason declined, then I proceeded to drink the salted coffee, declaring that it wasn’t that bad.

    Shockingly I did not get the job, and I have to be the hilarious job interviewee who salted their coffee, stated so, and then drank it.

    The next day was also full of hilarious, cringe-worthy stories. I went on to have breakfast with the dean, who asked what I was currently reading, I answered with all about the romantic suspense novel I was reading. It wasn’t until days later I realized he meant, professional development reading. Then he proceeded to take the stairs to the 3rd or 4th floor to his office, carrying my heavy overstuffed duffel, and I kept asking if it was okay, cause I was really embarrassed at how much I had overpacked. He finally made some “joke” about hurting his male sensibilities. There’s more, but dear lord, that interview it was one thing after another. They are one of the places that ghosted me afterwards, because apparently HR was supposed to notify candidates who didn’t get the job.

  188. Woozy*

    I fainted into the arms of the guy interviewing me at a college job fair.
    To preface, I had donated blood that morning and was in a hot, stuffy overcrowded arena in heels.
    I’m talking to the interviewer, going through my resume, what I’m looking for, all that, and then I start getting lightheaded and seeing spots. I am somewhat prone to passing out, so I know that at this point, I have maybe 15 seconds to get myself the hell to a chair before I hit the ground- but the interviewer keeps talking.
    I’m panicking, trying to subtly bend my knees and take deep breaths as the spots get bigger and I start hearing a whooshing in my ears. Finally I stop the guy mid-sentence and blurt out, “I’m sorry, I’m about to pass out.”
    Lo and behold, the second the words are out of my mouth, I go down, he catches me, and I’m steered over to a chair and given pretzels and water.
    I did not get a call for an interview.

    1. Sharrbe*

      As someone who has fainted in public twice, I sympathize. Didn’t do it at a job interview, but I once scared several tourists as I passed out on the rocks by a very tumultuous ocean. Didn’t get a head injury or swept out to sea so it was a win win, really. At LEAST he kept you from banging your head against a table!

  189. Ptarmigan*

    I was working for a temp agency back in my youth, and they sent me on a job interview for a (permanent) data entry position at an oil & gas parts supply company. I am fat and also tend to be a very non-dress-up kind of person and the agency person specifically recommended that I wear makeup, so I showed up in a nice skirt, blouse, and wearing some makeup. (I was also clean, hair brushed, etc.)

    The interviewer gave me a data entry test, leaving me in a room with a computer. She said I had 15 minutes to do the test, but not to worry if I didn’t finish it. It was trivial – I finished in about 5 minutes, walked out, and found her in her office. She was surprised. The rest of the interview, I don’t remember at all.

    The agency called me the next day to say that, even though I was the ONLY applicant who had finished the test at all, I was not being offered the job due to my “grooming.” Bullet dodged if you ask me.

    2. Sharrbe*

      Ugh. Yeah. I was once hired for a job and my manager told me that owner wanted me to wear nicer clothes/makeup etc. for our backroom office job where I never saw the public. Believe me when I say this was NOT a job where professional dress was necessary. I ended up leaving for various reasons, but that did factor in. Found out later the owner of the business was accused of sexual harrassment by several female employees. The whole request for us to wear makeup and skirts totally made sense then. Glad to have left.

    3. Massmatt*

      Ugh, that they demand women doing DATA ENTRY dress up. Not to mention the undoubted fat-phobia hiding behind “grooming”.

  190. DaveOrBusters*

    ugh. I still shutter. I had a perfect opportunity to get trained how to be a software engineer on the job. I had to take an aptitude test which I passed with a super high score. I got to the interview with a man who gave me a vibe that he didn’t want to be there and hadn’t read my resume . His first question is “tell me about yourself” – a classic, standard ice breaker question and…I blew it. I just rambled on and on for about ten minutes about minutia on my resume. It was horrible. He wasn’t even listening or looking at me or taking notes. He looked bored. And the more he looked disinterested, the more I kept talking.

  191. Not my usual name*

    1) I had an interview for an admin job in Social Services. The first question was basically what is social services. I know perfectly well, and yet i didn’t expect the question so my mind went completely blank and I just went “derrrrrrrrrrrrrr….”. Did not get the job.

    2) in my actual team, had an interview for a higher grade job. Was asked about something that is quite standard for our team but that I didn’t have much experience of. Mind went blank once more and I spent the entire interview fighting tears. Absolutely mortifying because all the interviewers were managers I knew well and worked with.

  192. let's talk acronyms*

    Interview was going well until I mispronounced the acronym used in the job title. It’s industry-specific and was just coming in to vogue, but still, I should have watched conference videos until I heard someone pronounce… I realized that I mispronounced mid-way through the interview when the interviewer used it correctly. My face fell ten stories.
    Auugh.

    Good luck, OP!

  193. HigherEdAnon*

    I interviewed for a higher ed position at my alma mater for a job I desperately wanted. Unfortunately the only time available was after an event at my current job – which had required me to be outside for about 7 hours in the 95 degree Texas heat. I had to do it in my car, sitting in a grocery store parking lot. I’m pretty sure I had minor heat stroke, and I have to assume I was just babbling on because I can’t even remember my answers. Devastating – especially since I would still love to work there and move closer to home.

  194. TinyLibrarian*

    I was in my first professional interview — suit skirt, high heels, the works. The morning of my interview, my only pair of pantyhose ripped. I was young enough to still believe that YoU cAn’T WeAr A sUiT wItHoUt PaNtYhOsE!!!! (at least in my industry you don’t have to wear them anymore) so I was frantic. Then I remembered that I had a nice silk pair of thigh highs tucked in the back of my closet. For, uh, marital fun times. Soooo… I put on them hose with a garter belt, dressed in my suit and off I went.
    During the interview my garter belt snapped and my hose fell down. The snap was audible. Everyone saw. I froze, then excused myself and shuffled slowly to a bathroom, where I took the hose off and stuffed them in my portfolio and returned to the room. No one could meet my eye.
    I did not get the job.
    I also never ever wore pantyhose OR a garter belt again to a job interview!

  195. BoiChaplain*

    At some point when I was desperate I decided to apply for a job as an assistant in the kitchen at a convent. I have a business degree with no experience in a professional kitchen. I got an interview and when I showed up I realized they were doing interviews every 15-30 minutes where they were overlapping candidates sitting in a room together. About 5 minutes into the interview where they were asking me what my “best dish” was.

    I had a business degree with data jobs in my background and someone joked at the other end of the table if they ever needed their check book balanced they would call me. The chef finally asked me (in her french accent) why I applied for the job if I obviously had no real cooking experience…

    I asked them (because I knew I wasn’t going to get the job) why they had called me back in if they knew I had no real cooking experience?

    When they told me they called everyone back because they are EEO employer my response was “I think there is a misunderstanding of what EEO means here”.

    Needless to say the chef let me know that she liked my attitude and sometimes the best assistants are those with no training. I didn’t get the job (needless to say) and I really completely bombed the interview and felt humiliated as I was leaving. I actually suggested we end the interview because it didn’t seem like we were going to be a good match.

  196. Catsaber*

    When I was fresh out of college, I interviewed for a staff position in the Registrar of a local community college. The branch was located kind of far away (other side of DFW metroplex), and I wasn’t thrilled about the position…but I needed a full-time job, so despite my misgivings, I went to the interview. I showed up about 20 min early, and got this awful gut feeling like I should walk it. I ignored it, because that would have been rude.

    I should have just no-showed. The person I interviewed with was the Registrar herself, and she was 30 min late with no explanation or even an apology. The interview started normally, and she told me several times she was “no nonsense” and if, at any point, I felt like this was not the position for me, to let her know that, so we could conclude the interview and not waste our time. About 15 min in, I decided “NOPE” and took her up on her offer to be candid. I politely said that I didn’t think this would be a good fit, and thanked her for her time.

    She was LIVID that I actually said that, and her attitude changed from “business nice” to “hellcat angry”. She started reaming me out, insulting everything she could about me. She said my experience was stupid, I was weak and afraid, and that I should never, ever tell an interview that I didn’t think the job would be a good fit. She told me I should have begged for the job, even if I knew I wasn’t going to accept it. I was so confused – she had just told me that I should let her know it wasn’t a good fit! I just sat there baffled, and she scolded me for that. Finally I told her okay, well I will just leave then, and then she scolded me AGAIN, and told me to sit back down, like I was a child. When I finally got the nerve to get up, I said again, “Well, thanks for your time, I better get going,” and just rushed out the door. I burst into tears as soon as I got out of the building.

    This was about 15 years ago. Clearly I am still scarred. :)

    1. Sharrbe*

      I love how people try to explain away their atrocious and insecure behavior behind the “no nonsense” defense. Like, no, you’re not “no nonsense”, you’re the epitome of nonsense. On the bright side, bullet dodged!! You did a great job!

      1. Catsaber*

        It’s the same as saying “I’m just an honest person,” when they are actually just a jerk person. :)

  197. Angela*

    Well, mine involves the toilet. And poo.

    Only somewhat literally- I was asked to name a company that inspired me. It was a very broad question that didn’t really relate to the job, but one of their many questions to test my personality, problem solving skills, etc. Despite feeling very strongly about several case-study companies that I’ve followed over the years, my mind went completely blank. So I mentioned to the first company that came to mind, which I had read a job listing for the day before. A company that makes special perfume to use in the toilet when going numbah 2. (It also has a very silly company name.)

    I mentioned a couple of facts about the company’s interesting business initiatives, but I couldn’t leave it there. *I just kept digging.* I tried to laugh it off, reading the mood of the interview (on a Friday in the afternoon) saying how I couldn’t believe I would mention that in a job interview, but here we are, haha.

    After the interview, the prospective boss walked me down to the lobby. She asked me in the elevator how it went. And what did I do? Bring up specifically how I mentioned that company, and how I couldn’t believe I talked about that in an interview, this is so funny, hahahaha.

    I cringed all the way walking to my car. Ironically, I was still in the running for a potential offer, but they were still making a decision when I received an offer elsewhere.

  198. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

    I’m still mortified about the one I had 8 years ago. It was a panel interview, with the man who would’ve been my boss, a lead, several developers who would’ve been my teammates. I was the only woman in the room, as it often is. The boss came across as kind of pushy and intimidating. Towards the end of my interview, he asked me how much I was looking for in terms of salary. In a room full of people, half of which would’ve been my peers if I’d gotten the job, I did not want to answer that question. I tried going with the tried and true “let me know what you think I’m worth and we can discuss”, then “I am not comfortable talking about this here, but we can always discuss through (name of the recruiter that had sent me)”, but he was having none of it. I finally caved and told him (and everyone in the room) the salary range. I then completely lost my mind at having just overshared to the degree I had not wanted to, and went into a rambling explanation of why I would not be able to accept less than (whatever lower point I’d given them). I remember saying something about having a kid in college. The boss called my recruiter after I left, and said I wasn’t a good fit. (He was probably right.) Here’s where it gets interesting. One of the people in the room turned out to be a friend’s family member’s husband. So I ended up getting some feedback from him through my friend, on two separate occasions. A few days after the interview, my friend told me “He said not to worry about getting the job, X (the boss) is a jerk and nobody wants to work for him and you wouldn’t like working for him, either.” Then a year later: “He said to tell you that they just had a layoff, the jerk is gone, do you want to apply again?” but by that time I’d already changed jobs and was happy where I was.

  199. PugLife*

    I applied to grad school straight out of undergrad. I didn’t really know what I wanted out of life and I ended up basically applying to the handful of schools that my professors suggested, without doing a ton of research on my own. I got accepted to a couple and went out to visit the one that I was most interested in. I emailed the head of the graduate department “I’m excited to start the program at University of X”!

    She replied, letting me know that she was actually with X State, and mentioned that I had made that same mistake *in my application materials* as well, and wanted to confirm that I did, in fact, know that I was coming to visit X State University and not University of X.

    I had done so little research that I didn’t even know there was a difference! I definitely didn’t know that U of X was 40 minutes down the road, had a better reputation, and was a school I probably would have been much happier at.

    I did end up going to X State and got my Master’s after 3 years instead of 2 (with a lot of unpleasant drama throughout; some of that was my immaturity and some of that was just academia’s poor boundaries). But yikes. And looking back, getting accepted under those circumstances was definitely a yellow flag that I should have paid more attention to.

  200. jay*

    I had a second interview for a job in a fairly conservative field (finance-related) that required relocation across several states to a very expensive city, and the company would be paying for it (including paying for a real estate broker to find me someplace to live, movers, etc.). Because it was the second interview, and I knew we were down to two candidates (me and someone local), the higher-ups were included, and one of them (the equivalent of what would be my great-grandboss) told me in a very serious tone that he needed to make absolutely sure that I was serious about this job, because moving me would be a substantial investment (and also this was during the recession and jobs in my field were rare and highly competitive).

    I’m pretty competent in my field, but I’m also a big ole butch lesbian who was also born and raised in the hillbilly part of the rural South and that, shall we say, affects the way I interact with people unless I’m trying very consciously to do otherwise. So. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Of-fucking-COURSE I’m serious, y’all! I wouldn’t have dragged my ass all the way to [city] for this interview if I wasn’t.” It wasn’t, like, angry in tone or anything, but that’s just how I talk under regular/informal circumstances, and it popped out immediately because I did care a lot about the job. Half a second later, I realized what I had said, and continued, “Oh shit, excuse my language” (yup, that’s helping!) and literally had to cover my mouth to keep myself from talking.

    I still got the job, and have been here for over a decade. (Turned out great-grandboss was also gay and Southern, and he had a real good laugh about it!)

  201. Chris*

    I have another one, though not as bad. This was for a phone interview a few years ago. I was working a temp job and actively looking for a permanent position. I went to my car to do the phone interview where there would be no noise and distraction. The lady I spoke with at this company did the usual at first, asking me about my experiences. In the middle of answering one of her questions, she interrupted me and started lecturing me about everything “wrong” with my resume. This was a huge red flag; she was my potential supervisor and this reeked of micromanaging and horrible boss all over. Nobody likes to be micromanaged, but my anxiety makes it worse for me to deal with compared with most other people. Embarrassed, I hung up the phone in the middle of her lecture. A few minutes later, she texted me and questioned why I hung up on her and she also clarified that she was just giving me “advice” on how my resume should be. Total red flag. I never asked her for “advice” and I was doing an interview, not at a job fair. I made no reply and never heard back from her or the company.

  202. Veryanon*

    This happened about 4 years ago. I have been in my particular field (HR) for over 20 years. I had been told that my job was being eliminated due to our company being purchased by a competitor. I was interviewing for a position with a company that was expanding into the U.S. and needed an experienced HR person to help launch their U.S. presence. I had interviewed over the phone with various people and thought the position sounded great; the people I met with seemed very enthusiastic about me as a candidate. They invited me in for a face to face interview, and this exchange occurred:

    (Very first question) Interviewer: So, I see on your resume that you majored in Political Science in college. Tell me why you picked that major.
    Me: (Confused because, 20+ years experience in HR, almost 30+ years since I had graduated from college and this was clearly evident on my resume) Well, I’m not sure that’s particularly relevant to where I am in my career today, but I’d be happy to talk about my experience and skills as they relate to your job opening.
    Interviewer (in a hostile tone): No, I really want to hear about why you decided to major in Political Science.
    Me: [chuckling nervously] I’d like to think I’m a little more practical now than I was back in college; at one point I was thinking about going into politics, but obviously that has not been my career path.
    Interviewer (still hostile): So you don’t have any political aspirations then?
    Me: [now getting annoyed, but still polite]: No, not really. What I’m really hoping to discuss with you are your plans for your U.S. launch and how my skills might help with that.
    Interviewer: I don’t think this is going to work. [Gets up and walks out of room, leaving me alone]
    Me: [sitting there dumbfounded, what the f*** just happened here? After a few minutes, gets up and finds my way out of the office]
    I never heard from them again. It was so weird.

    1. Chris*

      Wow. Totally out of line. But you dodged a bullet. If they treated you that way during the interview, imagine how hostile it would be once you are an employee! Sorry to hear about that.

      Also, with your experience, they should have never focused on your major 20 years ago. For a recent college graduate or a fairly junior, I can see why they would ask. But if you have at least 5 years of experience, they should not be questioning your major. Sure, they may be curious about it, but they shouldn’t be so dead focused on it.

      1. Veryanon*

        Right? It was just so bizarre. Here I was, close to 50 years old, and they were asking me to explain the reasoning of 18 year old me.

        1. That Girl from Quinn's House*

          “close to 50 years old”

          They wanted an excuse to flunk you on the interview so they could hire someone younger. Bullet dodged.

  203. NGL*

    Oooh boy. I had an interview shortly after the Superbowl – like maybe a day or two later? So the commercials were in heavy rotation, both in discussion and just airing on TV.

    I had a second interview, with the owner of the company, in a super relaxed environment, and there was a TV on but on silent. I had my back to it, but towards the end of the interview he says “Oh, I love this commercial! Did you see it?”

    I turn around to my horror to see it was one of the Budweiser commercials that used cute pets. I am a sap for cute animals in commercials, and this was something heartwarming like a puppy trying to get home to his owner. But on top of this, I had just lost a beloved pet unexpectedly, so anything about animals had me on a hair trigger.

    SOMEHOW I managed to make it through the interview without crying, but literally the moment the elevator doors closed behind me I dissolved. Called my husband just SOBBING out on the street like a madwoman. It took him a minute to figure out what had set me off.

    They still offered me the job. I didn’t accept for other reasons, but I will never forget the interview where I almost sobbed over cute puppies.

  204. gildedeggplant*

    I was a library school student interviewing for a job at a prestigious, large library. When they asked me why I wanted to work there, I said, “I dunno – you tell me!”

  205. MamaBear*

    I bombed the getting ready part…forgot the shirt to wear under my suit (traveled to a different state for the interview) and head to wear the white shirt I had worn to bed because the interview was at 8:30 AM. Hot mess.

  206. Akcipitrokulo*

    One that could have been really bad was when recruiting agent told me (several times when I asked if he were sure) that they were willing to train someone in a required technical skill, and told the employer I had experience in it.

    After far too many excruciating minutes of “I don’t know…” to very technical questions, we compared notes and cut interview short. No hard feelings on either side, but I got impression employer was going to have *words* with recruiter.

  207. Elwing*

    My interviewer opened by asking about my hobbies. I told them I exchanged postcards with people all around the world through a certain website. Then he asked me how that related to my interest in the job I was applying for. I said (a bit defiantly) “Not at all!” Clearly not the answer he was looking for. Luckily the rest of the interview went better and I did end up getting the job.

    In another interview, I was asked about if I had ever implemented a protocol or guideline at work. I had but it was on a rather small scale. But I used it as an example anyway. They asked lots of questions about it and I recognized that they thought it was a much bigger project than it actually was. Before I could point this out myself an ex colleague of mine (who was one of the interviewers) did it for me. It totally looked like I was trying to inflate my achievements. Didn’t get the job.

    1. Elwing*

      In the second interview I had one of my own best interview moments though. I was interviewed by the complete team, 8 or 9 people (please don’t do this, it’s intimidating). The atmosphere was rather chilly and uncomfortable. At one point I asked them (not a question I had prepared) if they ever did something fun together as a team. The first reaction was uncomfortable stares and then the boss said that they didn’t see that much of each other outside of work, in the end someone remembered that they had had dinner together. Several years ago. Not the team for me!

    2. Elizabeth West*

      Well, #1 asked about hobbies, which are leisure activities! What did he expect from that question?

  208. Scott*

    So far both of my truly embarrassing interviews have been pre-graduation. The first was an interview for a scholarship that would have involved meeting with other scholarship recipients on a regular basis to discuss assigned reading, current events, etc. A professor of mine had recommended me for the scholarship and going in, I felt very confident about my abilities to hold an engaging, intelligent conversation. The waiting area was right outside the conference room where the interview was being held by an interview panel of four or five people. As I was waiting, the woman they were interviewing before me was obviously driving a very spirited and enjoyable conversation with the interview panel, which gave me confidence that these were great people that I could connect with. However, as soon as I sat down, they acknowledged that I had been recommended to this scholarship by my specific professor and by the looks they gave each other and the tone of the interview that followed, I got the distinct impression that my professor had recommended a large number of individuals who were not in any way the type of student they were looking for. And, as the interview progressed, it became abundantly clear to me that I was one of those students who was not in any way the type of student they were looking for. I left that interview as embarrassed and deflated as I had ever felt.

    The second was actually around the same time as the first and was for a position with one of the university departments. Although I was young and still fairly new to the interview process, I didn’t think the interview had gone badly to any degree until the very end when the two interviewers looked at each other grinning and giggling and asked me what my feelings were about “The Green Ranger.” I wasn’t sure whether this was an inside joke of theirs, or a question meant to test my ability to think on my feet, or what it was supposed to be. They clearly thought it was hilarious so I tried to laugh along with them and probably bumbled out some nonsensical answer and the interview was over.

    Not too much later, I happened to look at my own Facebook profile while not logged into it to see what others would see, and there among the first things my profile advertised was that I Liked “The Green Ranger” from the original Power Rangers TV show. I hadn’t even remembered Liking the page, but I must have done some time during the early days of Facebook when everyone was Liking everything left and right. My interviewers had been laughing in my face and I hadn’t even realized it.

    I did have the chance to be on the other side of a mortifying interview. I was on the interview panel for a position I would be training, and one of the candidates was so nervous that she began sweating profusely. Think, a few notches below Guy From “Airplane!” Landing The Plane sweating profusely. We tried to reassure her that all was well, and allowed her to excuse herself to catch her breath and freshen up.

    She came back to the room and sat down with a large chunk of paper towel stuck to her face. We were *all* mortified.

    1. AnotherAlison*

      I have a feeling I was on the other side of some future embarrassing scholarship interviews. I did a day-long interview session last year for one of my alma mater’s most prestigious fellowships. The panel was an alumni (me), a professor, and a current fellowship student.

      Some of the the students were from upper income high schools nearby, some were from lower income districts, some were rural, etc. Some of the elite students went badly in the “I’ve already got this” sense, and then some of the other students just didn’t know what they were supposed to say. Some were just weird kids. This fellowship was for incoming STEM freshman who were targeting grad school and research careers. One kid said he would like to maintain the recycling business he started in high school for his long-term career. Another had a pretty poor showing in FIRST Robotics as the main thing he talked about and threw his buddies under the bus for why they didn’t do better.

      1. AnotherAlison*

        (future embarrassing stories. . .the interviews happened. Although they may not realize the embarrassment until they are older.)

    2. annakarina1*

      You dodged a bullet. That sounds incredibly high school and mean-spirited of them to mock you for something you liked on social media and asking it in a way to sneer at you.

  209. Dying on the Inside from Shame*

    Had been unemployed for a couple of months and one night some girl friends took me for drinks to cheer me up. After a few too many cocktails I decided I needed to revamp my cover letter when I got home. The final product was as bad as you can imagine. I still cringe at the number of incomplete sentences. The following morning, I started over and created a whole new cover letter that was actually quite good. Unfortunately, the document names were a little too similar (Why did I keep it?!?!?!) and I sent the drunken cover letter to several job postings and recruiters. I die a little on the inside when every time I think about how this cover letter is still out in the world.

  210. well that happened*

    Interviewed for a fundraising job years ago (i was doing fundraising at the time). The interviews went AMAZING, the interviewer and I were really bonding. she asked me if i saw myself in the field permanently and I said no, that i was good at it but it wasn’t going to be my forever career, i wanted to do more policy work. She said that was a shame, as they were really looking for someone who wanted to grow with them, and I sadly might not be be the best fit. We parted totally fine and understanding. Well she calls me up a few weeks later and says “hey you were amazing, there’s a job opening up with a connected org that’s more policy focused. if you want an interview to assist one of our policy writers, it’s yours tomorrow”. The next day is just a wreck. My boyfriend had broken up with in the intervening weeks and I’m still feeling emotional, my horrible 1987 car had broken down that morning (again! it had squirrels living in the engine block when I got it and that was high point). I show up to this interview and instead of talking about my writing/researching/assisting skills, the policy writer verbally accosts me for an hour about what talk shows i watch (ummm i don’t?) what papers i read every day (i just… read the news online? I’m 22 dude, I don’t get a newspaper). He wouldn’t stop asking the same questions different ways, like somehow the 3rd time asking about what papers i read would make me confess that I had a secret newspaper subscription. He out loud judges me for being ill informed, unfit for the job, and clearly not committed to their political slant. I was mortified and so confused why he had seen my resume (she sent it to him in advance) and decided to interview me if he didn’t want me. I have never felt so small or stupid as i did for that hour. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t just walk out. I barely held back tears, finally he released me, i sat on the metro and openly sobbed. I didn’t send a thank you note because I refused to thank a person who was that awful to me. worst interview ever. did not get the job, would have turned it down if they did offer.

  211. RedBrickDream*

    The day before a major job interview, I walked into a tree branch. Like, walked right into it. I had a black eye…a gash on my cheek…the whole nine yards.

    I went into the interview (which was at a school—so I met with a dozen adults after teaching a sample class to students I’d never met), got in the car to go home, looked in the rearview mirror…and my injury had gotten worse. I looked like I’d been punched.

    Three days later, I got a call. Not only did I get the job, but they were cancelling all the other interviews and offered me double my salary at the time. I guess my poor bruised face didn’t matter as much as I thought it did!

    1. Beth Jacobs*

      Oh, you have my empathy. With the slightest clumsy bruise or scratch, I worry that someone is going to think I was a victim of violence. Then again, being a victim of violence should not preclude someone from being hired.

  212. Chronic Overthinker*

    One more that is one of the worst and totally my fault. I was working for a particular restaurant chain in a front facing food service role. A new position opened up for an administrative role with a huge bump in pay. I jumped at the chance, even though my administrative skills weren’t particularly strong. I was asked why I was interested in the position. I did not do enough research and focused solely on the salary. I was woefully under-prepared for the interview and did not have thoughtful answers. I just wanted out of food service. Funnily enough the job I do now is what I was interviewing for back then. Needless to say I learned my lesson and I’m glad I no longer work for said restaurant chain in any capacity.

  213. Leela*

    I was interviewing for a position I was well qualified for and felt pretty confident about. The second the interview started though, I could tell there was no way I was going to get it or would even consider it if it was offered to me.

    I was dressed in a black pencil skirt with a black blazer over a blouse, my hair was in a bun, I was wearing tights and dressy flats. The woman who met me looked me up and down and not only smirked but audibly scoffed and then rolled her eyes. I asked if she was okay and she went “oh HMM? Nothing, haha! Don’t be so serious!” Then brought me into a room with her and two other women who seemed extremely uninterested in any answer I had to their questions. They kept shooting each other these really weird, indecipherable but obvious looks which didn’t seem to line up to anything (like it wasn’t right after my answer, which might indicate to me they didn’t like my answer, but just in periods of silence as they were writing, as they were asking me, any time at all when nothing in the conversation seemed weird or tricky).

    At the end they asked if I had any questions, and I asked what I felt were very normal and fair interview questions (“So you’d mentioned someone would be doing x, y, and z. About how much time would someone in this role spend of each of those? Could you describe a typical day?”) Type questions and one of the interviewers glared at me and went “Wow it’s like you think YOU’RE interviewing US.” Two of the women were incredibly rude the hole time, one of them looked as embarrassed as hell. When I asked as I was leaving about how long they thought they might get back to someone, they closed the office door in my face without answering me. I ran into the embarrassed woman later at a city event and waved hello, she sunk her head into her shoulders like a turtle and scurried away without acknowledging me.

    I truly can’t think of anything that came up that would account for this kind of behavior to this day.

    1. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

      Wow, this is like a Seinfeld episode – a character does everything as anyone normally would, but the people’s reactions make no sense and do not match the character’s actions. How bizarre. Good thing they never called back, I’d be afraid to work for these people if truth be told.

      1. Leela*

        It was extremely surreal and bizarre! I definitely wouldn’t have taken the job (or would have because it was mid-recession but would have kept job searching) if it had been offered, I can’t imagine how much worse they were to actually work for

  214. Jh*

    I’ve bombed a few interviews but it’s usually because the interviewer didn’t understand my background or had an expectation in their mind of who I should be…

    One was being put in a room at 37 years old with a master’s and 15 years of work experience in the field and asked to do some beautiful mind equations on a white board to prove my knowledge by 24 year olds. I was so furious and embarrassed that I wasn’t told about it that I blanked and bombed it.

    Another was nerves because although the main interviewer was lovely the others were just sort of staring at me with… Judgy eyes. so paranoid. I made awkward jokes to lighten the mood lol.

    One lady asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. I said managing a department and leading a team. So she said, oh so you want my job? She was a total… You know what!

    Another wasn’t really me bombing it but them. The lady didn’t look me in the eye once and just stared at her computer screen for 45 mins.

    The point is… It’s not the end of the world. I just didn’t fit what they wanted and I have a great job now with fantastic benefits and I’m making huge changes. Their loss!

    I also never ask for feedback or refuse it of offered. Why? I’ve had lots in my life and I killed myself trying to change when I was in my 20s… But it’s impossible to meet everyone’s standards. How they perceive you is subjective. Maybe they didn’t like my blazer , my few grey hairs, I didn’t explain something the way they deemed appropriate, or the fact I’m British, who knows. I won’t do that to myself anymore by faking who I am and what I know and customizing myself to every marketing job possible. I’m either too good or not good enough lol!

    Just know that if it’s right, it’s right. Don’t force things or act desperate.

    1. Fikly*

      So because it’s impossible to meet everyone’s standards, you refuse to hear any feedback? How does that work for you as an employee, who presumably has a manager with expectations?

  215. MCL*

    I was a newly minted graduate interviewing for a job through a recruiting firm. Somehow I missed what exact company they were placing for – either they didn’t make it clear, or (more likely) I missed it somehow. Anyway, the position was at a very famous food corporation. They asked me what I knew about the corporation and I TOTALLY froze. “Um… I know you make a great mac and cheese….” I was mortified. I did not get the job. It was a good lesson in making sure to do lots of research before interviewing, though!

  216. AliceBD*

    I work in marketing. I was interviewing and the man kept asking me about paper clips and did I know paper clips. He was saying pay per click, as in advertising, but I heard paper clip probably 4 times and looked like a complete fool.

    Wouldn’t have been a good fit anyway for some other reasons but it was mortifying to misunderstand something so many times.

    1. Elizabeth West*

      “I know everything there is to know about Mr. Clippy. He was my mentor at Office 1995 through 2003.”

      Sorry, I couldn’t resist, lol.

    2. blaise zamboni*

      Aaaah! God I can just imagine. “No, I said, [slowly] pay…per…clicks….”
      “Yes, payyy-perrrrr-clippps, they hold papers together, I’m familiar…???”

  217. BC Lower Mainlander*

    I once interviewed at a clothing store looking for temporary Christmas help 30 years ago. I remember there were about 10 people waiting outside the store, we were all holding copies of our resumes like they were life jackets! Overall it went well, but then the interviewer asked if I had any questions. I still don’t know what possessed me to ask, “What’s with the cattle call?”

  218. From The High Tower on Capitol Hill*

    Here’s a fun one. I was interviewing for a full-time job for after I graduated from college. Two days before, I had gone to the college football game and the guy standing on the bleachers in front of me fell backwards into me and I fell, hitting my shoulder against the bleacher behind me. So here I am, with my dominant arm in a sling, trying to carry my tote bag and a portfolio with me. There are two interviewers that are trying to shake my left hand while I am jostling my stuff around (possibly the worst handshakes I have ever given). They ask me what happened and I tell them the honest story of how I messed up my shoulder. I got a physical letter in the mail 8 months later telling me I didn’t get the job.

  219. Essess*

    I was sent by a recruiter to interview for a really good job as a computer programmer. I thought the interview went really well. About 10 minutes after my interview, I got a frantic call from my recruiter…”Did you REALLY use the word ‘c*ck’ in your interview?” My first reaction was “WHAT???” I’ve never used that word in my life. I don’t use it with friends, so I certainly wouldn’t use it in an interview. The recruiter was insistent that they had called her because I had talked about being a big c*ck at my previous job. Finally it clicked and I blurted out “COG…. I said COG. They asked why I was leaving my old job and I explained to them that I was a bigger cog in the organization than I wanted to be. I had explained that that they had pushed me into a role that was basically 3rd in command of the startup company when I wanted to be a low-level developer and that I was uncomfortable with that much pressure to keep a company afloat.” So I spent the entire night in tears and horrified that they thought I said “c*ck”. Then next day I got a call from the recruiter telling me that I got the job because the company HR person felt if I could confidently say that word in an interview then I could handle working in a heavily male-dominated work environment.

  220. Nita*

    I once spent half an interview writing with a pen that wasn’t working. I’d sat down at the table with a pen in hand, left my purse in the corner of the room, and then realized I fished out the one broken pen. Pretty sure the interviewers could see me scribbling away, and nothing showing up on the paper. I must have looked like a lunatic. The two things I’m happy with – that I was able to keep my composure despite this ridiculous situation, and that the interviewers were tactful enough not to ask me what I was doing.

  221. Pretty Fly for a WiFi*

    In my state (probably every state, I don’t know) there are placement “jails” where sexual predators who served their jail time, but are too dangerous for release live for a while (and sometimes forever). They’re privately run on behalf of the state. I interviewed for an HR position at one of these. The head of HR was interviewing me, and the first part of the interview was the usual question/answer portion. Then she walked me through the facility because, she said, sometimes HR had to go meet employees at their posts since they couldn’t leave. And, remember, this place isn’t a jail. It was still disconcerting to know those people were still too dangerous to be freed, although the tour was pleasant enough. I guess the interviewer figured she’d give me every chance to back out of accepting an offer if I didn’t feel comfortable working there.

    Welp… once we came back to her office, she was about to tell me what to do in case an “inmate” became inappropriate. I said, “Oh, I know! When I went to Europe by myself at 19, my mom told me that if I saw a man being lewd out on the street, I should just laugh at him.”

    Yeah… that wasn’t it.

    Needless to say, I never heard back from that place, not even to tell me I hadn’t gotten the position. To this day, I have no idea why I said that!! I was not even young! I was 36 years old!!!!!

  222. Goya de la Mancha*

    Had an interview with a company that my father had connections with. I deal with anxiety and was so proud of myself on the way to the interview for not feeling nervous, I didn’t even take my Xanax!…big mistake. Ended up having to walk out of the interview not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES due to panic setting in. The interviewers were very kind and even offered to reschedule, but needless to say, I bombed that one big time. Not sure I wanted the job even, but felt horrible for wasting their time, walking out 3 times and felt like I totally let my dad down since it was his connections that basically got me the interview.

  223. Adereterial*

    I managed to tank my crucial promotion board interview TWICE.

    In my defence… 30 minutes before the first try I got a call from my distraught (13 year old) niece, because my sister had literally fallen down stairs from top to bottom. She’d called an ambulance but she was incoherent and my niece couldn’t get hold of her Dad or my mum so called me in hysterics even though there was nothing I could do from where I was really – I live a good 150 miles away. I managed to get hold of my brother in law pretty quickly who was on his way back, met the ambulance on the way to the hospital. My sister was ultimately fine but throughout the interview all I could hear was my phone buzzing with messages and calls. I did ask to postpone and they said no.

    So… I got to retake it, after some wrangling. I thought it went much better but apparently because I didn’t specifically mention the phrase ‘long term’ in one of my examples (rather, I talked about sustained improvements and development), I failed it again.

    At that point I kinda threw in the towel. I discovered later the retake should have been at least 8 weeks after the first one (it was 4 weeks), and I was told to appeal it but at that point, I’d had enough and declined.

  224. Tee*

    I got an interview – an 18-person panel interview that required a prepared presentation. I don’t remember how I prepared, but I know that I THOUGHT I would nail it. Ummm. NO. The first part of the interview was all 18 people asking me questions. They were very detailed knowledge-based questions. I would’ve had to work with the material for years to be able to answer them. I answered every single one of them with “I’m not sure!, but I’ll get back to you with that answer!” (BIG SMILE). Then it was time for my presentation.

    The set-up for the room was 4 long tables placed into a square: this left a huge space in the middle. FOR SOME REASON, I thought I should go under the table and get into that square to present. This required me crawling under the table. As I came up, I smacked my forehead on the table and toppled onto my stomach. Think Amy Schumer doing her falling on the red-carpet bit. I stood up continued with my presentation and left the interview.

    The interview lead called me later and started the conversation with, “I assume you know you didn’t get the job.”

    But! I now work in the corporate offices at a desk job! So yes, to the OPs question, you will go on and still succeed even if this one interview was bad.

    1. Tee*

      Apologies, left out the first paragraph:
      My entire career has been at retail Fortune 500 company. I started at a store in a customer service position. 3 years in, I wanted to jump to one of the store positions that could lead to a desk job. I applied for a store trainer position – it was an overreach, but I thought that the interview could be a good networking opportunity.

  225. Rina Beana*

    I was young and had an interview on a Monday. Saturday night the weekend before the interview, I went out with my friends and ended up drinking a bit too much and tripping in a parking lot. I chipped a tooth, had a fat lip, and a sustained few abrasions. In retrospect, it probably would have been best to ask to postpone the interview for medical reasons but I pressed on.

    I showed up looking a mess and hadn’t prepared at all because I’d been distracted by my injuries. The whole sorry affair lasted about 15 minutes before they said we were done here. Obviously they never called.

  226. Quill*

    Me, 25, fresh out of getting fired from my first, and so far only, salaried job, drives to the middle of “I don’t know where” for an interview. Unfortunately, the business’ registered mailing address is not the entrance to the facilities, and though I arrive at this address 30 minutes early, I have to spend 15 finding the next place to pull over on a rural highway and call to figure out where the heck I’m supposed to be.

    My recruiter doesn’t pick up.
    My interviewer was only ever identified to me by first name when my recruiter arranged the interview.

    I call the front desk, explain the address I got that my recruiter scraped off google, obtain the real address, enter it, ask them to inform my interviewer that I may be slightly late as my gps shows that I can make it to security at the front gate with five minutes to spare and I don’t know how long security will take.

    I arrive in the lobby after security precisely 2 minutes late, still end up having to wait 10 minutes, and am escorted to the interview where my prospective grandboss and three people in adjacent working groups are interviewing me.

    About halfway through, my prospective grandboss drops “So, I googled your undergrad thesis.”

    Well aware that my undergrad thesis was, charitably, a disaster, blurts out “Oh shit.”

    Readers, I got the job.

    1. Sal*

      Would like more information re your UG thesis to the extent you are comfortable sharing, thanks in advance :)

      1. Quill*

        I was double majoring (bad idea #1) in a archaeology and environmental science (bad idea #2) and thought I could do a joint thesis because I had one summer to both join a dig (archaeology) and collect real world data for my envisci thesis (bi#3).

        I went. I dug. I packaged up soil samples to return to the USA with, with helpful permission to export from the local country.

        US authorities did not care, because, unbeknownst to me, soil samples from europe, asia, and africa, are banned.

        I spent the next 4 months trying to get my samples back before I was finally told they’d been destroyed as soon as they were confiscated, had to have a huge messy meeting with both my advisors, caught flak from the archaeology advisor for deciding to finish the major in environmental science, which did not offer a minor and was probably a better career choice, and not his because I could NOT have whipped up two new, separate thesises.

        Which leads to me collecting frozen soil samples on the side of the road in mid November, and concurrently fainting in my envisci advisor’s office when I realized I had to redo the lit review and hyperventilated.

        I spent all of a 1.5 month winter break working on the soil samples, which turned up “inconclusive” and had to present by late April.

        I don’t know what I did for my actual presentation but I distinctly remember answering a question with “look, there’s a lot of dirt, and some of that dirt is bird shit.”

  227. Snow*

    My husband was giving me a lift to an interview and a car stopped abruptly in front of us and we went into the back of them. it wasn’t as bad as it could have be though I think I had whiplash and I banged my knee in the jolt of it all. I rang to let them know I might be late though we got there on time in the end. They kept asking me if I wanted to reschedule but I insisted I was fine and then I spent the interview on the edge of tears when belated shock set in. I had no idea what I said in that interview, though it mustn’t have been too bad as while I did not get offered the job initially but I was the second place candidate so they called me when the first choice dropped out.

    On the day of my interview for my current role, my cat escaped when I left the house and I had to chase him down as he is not an outdoor cat. I captured him scaling a fence and he booted me in the face so I went to the interview with a fat lip (and probably some stray cat fur though I tried to get it all.)

    1. OrigCassandra*

      One of my cats fell off the headboard onto my face, leaving impressive marks on my nose… two days before an interview.

      I did not get that job (though I know the person who did get it and still holds it, and I am perfectly happy to admit I was flat outcompeted).

  228. Construction Safety*

    I was out of work due to my own choice, but need to find something. I go a local interview, meeting with the president, when a guy walks by the conference room. President says, “Oh, that’s one of our owners” The guy walks in and introduces himself. His first & last names are both slang words for male genitalia, think “Peter Tallywacker”.

    I waited for them to laugh.

    They did not.

    Thank heavens I had managed to briefly swallow my tongue then continued after the pause with the proper words.

  229. Chocoholic*

    Oh lord. I interviewed once, pretty early out of school at a large insurance company in my city. It would have been a great job. The interviewer asked me about how I handled stress. My answer was “heavy drinking”. I thought I was being funny. Surprisingly, I never heard back from that job.

  230. Anona*

    I was doing so well in an interview until we reached a scenario portion, where I was supposed to give written feedback to a question. I was stumped by the question and kept waiting for inspiration to come to me… and it never really did. Towards the end of the time, I jotted down something brief that didn’t address all aspects of the question, and that was the end of the interview. I didn’t get the job, but they told me I had been a great candidate and encouraged me to apply to future openings, I can only assume because the rest of the interview went so well.

    Another interview, the position was for something related to safety and risk, and I disagreed strongly with how the organization was handling things. I felt their current policies were opening them up to considerable risk, so I explained that. They disagreed, and the interviewer seemed annoyed with me for disagreeing. Didn’t get that job, feel like I dodged a bullet.

  231. Chickynubs*

    I had was looking for my first job after qualifying from medical school. I had been given a few offers but accepted a position in a local practice in my home town.

    A couple of weeks before I was due to start (in my field you normally have an offer 3 months before you start work as that is standard notice period) the owner called me and said that he could no longer offer me a full time position, only very part time. Obviously this was a spanner in the works and I was upset and talked it over with several people.

    Unbeknownst to me, my PARENTS then took it upon themselves to turn up at the practice and tell the owner what a conscientious person I am and he should do the right thing!

    I was absolutely mortified when I found out. Luckily the owner took it in his stride and said he understood because family can be very involved in his culture.

    He did actually then offer me the full time clinical hours (probably because something changed and it was convenient for him honestly). I ended up working for him for 6 years until he made my life unpleasant due to maternity leave!

  232. Eba*

    Ugh, one time on a phone interview for a position at a school, I was being interviewed by an acquaintance. They asked me about something related to my current position at the time, which was not going well, and I was brutally honest and talked to them for 10 or 15 minutes about how terrible it was, and how I felt so awful in my current job. Needless to say, I wasn’t offered the position. I don’t know what I was thinking, just that I was in such a bad place with my job at the time.

    Thankfully that’s been many years, and I now have a job that I’m good at, but it still makes me want to curl up into a ball when I think how honest I was in that interview, to my own detriment.

  233. Shadowstar*

    When I was young and in my early 20’s, I learned fairly early on to never, ever wear light colored slacks/skirts to an interview, no matter how much in fashion or in season they might be at the time. I unexpectedly got my time of the month one time, and didn’t know about it until it was too late to do anything. It was just a temp job, and no, I didn’t get it, and they didn’t say anything so I don’t know if they noticed, but…yeah. Always wear dark bottoms to an interview if there is any possibility of that happening, even if it’s remote.

  234. merp*

    I’ve definitely had weirder and worse things, but what’s coming to mind: after an all day interview I had been flown out for (which I’m sure I made mistakes in as well), the HR rep was walking me back to her office to chat and wrap up. She asked me what I thought of the area and if I could see myself living there, I gave just the most lukewarm non-answer, something like “maybe, I’m not sure.” I didn’t get offered the job, more than likely because I wasn’t the right candidate for other reasons, but I just remember kicking myself for that at the end of the day. I couldn’t act like I wanted to be there for 5 more minutes? ><

  235. Sally*

    My interview failure is somewhat mundane, but I wanted the OP to know that you can completely bomb an interview and still move on with your life. I had a great, conversational first interview for a job within my company, so I felt waaay too confident going into the second interview with the manager of the first interviewer. I didn’t prepare answers for any interview questions. And to be fair, I had not yet learned that I should do that (it was way before AAM). So when they asked me the usual questions, I tried to wing it, and of course I couldn’t think of examples for the scenarios they were interested in. It was so embarrassing to know that these managers in my company would have this crappy impression of me, based on the crappy interview.

  236. Seeking Second Childhood*

    I had a stretch interview that I knew was a stretch. The job was a very technical bit of technical writing, with BS engineering preferred. I had a non-technical BA, a minor in computer science minor, and direct experience … but I was caught flat-footed when they asked me to explain how my technical background was enough. I should have expected that and prepared an answer.

  237. Strawberry Red*

    I actually just bombed an interview last night!

    I’m an admin in my mid 20s, and I recently applied for an event planning job that was way out of my league (requirements included 3+ years of experience in areas I have no experience in). My line of thinking was that a) some of my skills are transferable, b) the job is right down the street from my house, and c) I probably wouldn’t even get an interview, so why not apply?

    I did end up getting an interview.

    Until I got to the interview, I didn’t even fully realize just how much out of my league the job was, and they clearly hadn’t read my resume beforehand. (There were some clues that they were pretty much interviewing anybody who applied). They asked me questions about event planning logistics, fundraising, and participant support, and I awkwardly talked about my experience in using Mailchimp and passing out evaluations at seminars. You could feel the awkwardness in the room. I didn’t even ask all of the questions I had prepared, because I knew it was over.

    Yeah, I don’t think they’ll be calling me back for a second interview.

    1. Fikly*

      Why, why do companies do this? Not only is it a waste of your time, but it is a waste of theirs! So surely from a self-interest point of view, the 30 seconds it would take for them to read your resume and see you do not have the experience they need would be a vast improvement over however long the interviewwas!

  238. Reality Check*

    I had been house sitting, so far from home. I had an interview 1st thing in the morning, and the day before, I picked up my beautiful bone-white business suit from the dry cleaners. Hung it up, ready to go early the next day. Except the skirt had slipped from the hanger – outside – and I didn’t notice it. It rained that night, so my skirt was ruined. The nearest female to me (my own place was too far away) was my mother. I zoomed over to her place in a panic and tried to raid her closet. The problem was that she outweighed me by at least 30 pounds so nothing fit. She did pull some of her old stuff from storage – that stuff fit me, but it smelled like moth balls and was circa 1979. I was desperate and just threw a bunch of clothes on.
    I showed up at that interview on time, but smelling like moth balls and basically looking like an idiot. Either it didn’t fit or was circa 1979, and nothing matched anything. There was a group of people interviewing me, and you could hear a pin drop when I walked in the room. I said “Okay, let me get this out here right now.” And I explained the situation.
    They cracked up laughing….and hired me.

    2. OrigCassandra*

      This is the kind of gumption I can absolutely get behind. Dealing with Life Happening and not letting it throw you? Well gumptioned.

  239. Melanoma is Not My Friend*

    Interviewed for a summer job at a tanning place only because I knew someone there (had never been tanning). I would’ve been cleaning tanning beds and explaining package options for purchase.

    Manager asked me if I’d use the beds and spray tanner machine, as they like their employees to look the part. I said I’d be willing to spray tan, but no tanning beds. When he asked why, I blurted out ‘skin cancer runs in my family’ – it does, but he probably doesn’t want that coming up when trying to sell people tanning bed packages… and this was 2004, I think before the warnings were quite as noticeable. The awkward silence after I answered was loud!!

    Still got offered the job, but then he told me he could only give me 12 hrs a week. Ended up working at a cardboard factory instead, for 2 summers.

  240. babylawyer*

    When I was interviewing for jobs for the summer after my first year of law school, I absolutely froze when an attorney at a personal injury firm asked me what I like to do for fun. Like, open-mouth, deer-in-the-headlights froze.

    I was a law student and did not remember what fun was, it seems. Instead of poking fun at that, I stuttered and stumbled and said “uhhhhhh, I used to like to read. I read Les Miserables last summer.” and then quickly said defensively, “I mean, I have friends!!” He stared blankly back at me and continued with the interview.

    I did not get the job.

    After that I planned out my answer to that question. (“Law school keeps me really busy most of the year because I’m involved in X, Y, and Z at the law school, but when I have free time I like to read and I like to cook.”) Sometimes, if I feel comfortable at an interview, I will even tell the interview that story, and it usually gets a big laugh.

  241. Andrea*

    I once interviewed a man who spent the first 10 minutes of his interview explaining that he really enjoyed working with people, helping people, solving problems, etc. Then he wrapped up with “I mean, if I had to sit in front of a computer for 3 or 4 hours a day, I’d go BANANAS!” Reader, the job was a help desk at a technology company.

    1. Quill*

      I once interviewed a woman who was exponentially more qualified for the job than I had been when I interviewed and got the same job, asked her “what about this job appeals to you,” and she answered “I’d like to experience the culture of a smaller company.”

      The culture at said company was so terrible that I choked on my water, also I got fired the day she started after outlasting three other people who got hired after me…

  242. Former Usher*

    I had worked at Company A for 10 years and left for a job at Company B. It was a disaster. I applied for a job back at Company A. Phone interview went pretty well up until the moment where we both realized I had accidentally listed Company A as both my former and current employer on my resume. I had already mentioned “attention to detail” as one of my strengths. I did not receive a second interview.

  243. Kimberlee, No Longer Esq.*

    My favorite interview story to share: I was walking to an interview, listening to my favorite podcast (MBMBaM, of course). I arrive, turn off the pod, and we go to the interview room. This is a tech-adjacent nonprofit, so their conference room has a glass wall that doesn’t come all the way down to the floor or all the way up to the ceiling. My interviewer has us sit at the far end, so less noise comes in from the rest of the office.

    Yet throughout the interview, we still hear a fair amount of noise! People talking, occasional laughter… my interviewer clearly notices as well. Maybe 10 or 15 minutes in, I realize that the noise we’re both hearing is actually my podcast playing, barely audible from my bag. I feel like I *can’t* say anything now, 10 minutes in, so we just endure, and I have no idea if he assumed the noise was coming from elsewhere in the office or if he figured out the real source as well. I did not get a call back, lol.

    1. merp*

      I feel like the McElroys would be delighted by this! At least you didn’t copy any of their job interview strategies from that one episode of the tv show..

      1. Quill*

        “Brothers, I put my phone in my purse during a job interview and it started playing your podcast in the middle of Munch Squad. The interview was at Taco Bell. What do I do?”

  244. Lorac*

    Recently graduated, applied to a Personal Assistant job to a famous language professor at a equally famous university. During the interview, he asked if he asked me to look for a book, how would I do it. I tried to crack a joke and say “I guess I’d first ask you how the title and author name is spelled” (since he specialized in German). He was not amused.

    To this day I still think it wasn’t the incorrect answer…but he was extremely annoyed at me for it.

  245. Tootsie*

    My last job interview. Got there about 10 min late (traffic & parking). It’s a panel interview situation. During the interview they ask me something, I pause to think, pause, pause, pause. Nothing! My mind went totally blank. I just froze. I eventually stammered something not very coherent, and I was so embarrassed I could have died! I always interviewed well! I just knew I had blown it, worst interview ever. I didn’t even bother to write any thank you emails, I KNEW I didn’t get it. I was so pissed at myself because I hated my current job, my mental and physical health were suffering from the stress. Imagine my surprise when I was offered the job a couple weeks later! My boss told me later some wanted to go with someone else but my references were glowing and she pushed for me. It’s been a year and it’s been great! Sometimes good things can come from bad interviews. :)

  246. Vegetable Lasagna*

    I once had an interview with a bank, and for some reason my interviewer kept GUSHING over how “safe and secure” the bank was. Well, the day before, my police officer mom had told me all about how the bank had gotten robbed the week before and I blurted out “didn’t you get robbed and no one hit the alarm for 2 hours?”

    Didn’t get a call back on that one.

    1. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

      This comment is why I wish there was a way to leave reactions on comments. I would “haha” and/or “heart” it in no time.

  247. Pellegrino*

    I was finishing a professional degree and interviewing for a job in my home state for after graduation. My school (which I had attended for 6 years) was located in a different state a few hours away, in City X. Interviewer starts off the interview by making small talk about City X. He asked if that was the capitol of the state. I was so nervous about the interview that my mind went completely blank. So I nervously said “Yes I think so!” A few minutes into the interview, the interviewer suddenly said “Wait. City Y is actually the capitol of that state.” This is a state I had lived in for SIX. Years. Did not get that job.

  248. MoneyBeets*

    I have interviewed three times in the past five years with a humongous, global corporation. This particular humongous company uses the STAR format, in which every answer has to include the situation, your task, your actions, and the result. Should be easy, I thought — after all, I know what I’ve done! Each time, I religiously prepared by outlining specific examples in case asked. And every time, I got myself scrambled and left out bits of the answers. To their credit, they always gently prompted me (“and what was the outcome?”) but, ugh. It felt like Jeopardy, where it’s not enough to have a specific answer, you also have to format it the right way or it doesn’t count. Didn’t get any of the jobs, but that’s OK. I love where I work, so these felt more like failed experiments than outright failures – but oof. Have never felt so bumbling in an interview as I did in those.

  249. Chris*

    Last one. This one was about a decade ago. This was the summer between my junior and senior of college, and I was searching for a part-time job. I got one interview with a large well-known retail company, and another interview with a small greenhouse nursery. The interview with the greenhouse was with the owner. It was completely rushed and his tone was rather hostile; he told me my job would be watering plants and the rate I would be paid. Then he asked if I wanted it. I hesitated due to his fast talking and impatient tone of voice. I said I would think about it. He then told me so stop standing around and wasting his time.

    No thank you. That was the last I heard of that job. I took the retail job and was happy with it.

  250. LCH*

    i went to an informational discussion (or however they phrased it) not realizing this was an interview, just not for a specific position. it was with a major museum in NYC. i did not wear interview clothing or prepare anything. because… it wasn’t an interview? i was 23. BOMBED.

    1. Fiona*

      Ugh, I did the same thing when I was in college. Visited Toronto and my college professor put me in touch with an old colleague who ran a really cool experimental video archive. I wore a denim jacket (my favorite look) and while I’m naturally very friendly and polite, I’m sure had zero questions for them during this informational interview that I definitely treated like a casual hang. When asked what I was interested in pursuing specifically, film-wise or why I was interested in Canada specifically, I think I gave a very chipper “I don’t know!” Now that I’m a working adult, I realize how much time they took from their day and how when I left, I’m sure they were like “what a waste of time.”

  251. Third or Nothing!*

    I once had a phone interview for a marketing position with a company my sister-in-law interviewed for and was super impressed by. I went in super prepared with answers for every question and did pretty well, I think. The interviewer did throw me for a bit with the question “how would you feel being managed by someone younger than you?” though. Seriously, what does age matter as long as they have the skills? If I remember correctly I spent much too long emphasizing that in my answer and repeated myself several times. Derp.

    Then they killed me with the comment “We are an all-hands-on-deck type team here. No one goes home until everyone can go home. Sometimes that means staying until 7 or later.” I was very clear with them that family time is sacred to me. At that point we could all tell the job was not a good fit. Could have at least had the decency to send me a rejection instead of saying they’d be in touch and ghosting me though.

  252. Analytical Tree Hugger*

    I once interviewed for a job that would require me to relocate.

    Interviewer: So, would you be willing to relocate to [CITY] for this job?
    Me: Yeah, there’s something that’s drawing me to the Midwest.
    Interviewer: Um…that’s great, but we’re in the South.
    Me: … … …

    (This was a job managing a team doing Geographic Information Systems work)

  253. WearingManyHats*

    Back when I worked in retail I was looking to get out of my very client-book based company and focus on visual merchandising at a large, creative store. I snagged a phone interview, but I was very, very ill when it was scheduled. I took some Dayquil to feel better. This helped me to stop coughing, but I was so loopy I told them I wasn’t interested in customer service. They asked me to clarify and instead of explaining my experience with client books (which is what I meant) I doubled down. There was a moment of stunned silence on the other end and they did not call me back.

  254. I Will Steal Your Pens*

    I was in an interview for an HR Manager role last fall. The hiring manager asked me what my career aspirations were. I told her flat out – I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in a general HR role – that I wanted to move into a specialist role. I just didn’t yet know what. (Quite frankly, I am pretty much done with HR so the thought of getting out of it completely is a rather nice one as well. But I digress). So I go on to add “I don’t think I want to go much higher than a manager or maybe a director, definitely not an executive. And before I could stop myself, I said “Because Executives tend to forget what its like to be an individual contributor living paycheck to paycheck. So they make decisions about benefits and other cost changes and pass it off as what is required, without taking into account the impact to those who essentially earn their pay”. That – word for word. When I was walking out, she handed me her card. The title? VPHR. Clearly the recruiter gave me old information as she had been promoted following an acquisition a month or so prior to my recruitment.

    Needless to say, I didn’t get an offer – or so much as a decline notification. I was ghosted (which, BTW – is getting to be a bad trend). However, the company and their HR department in particular was a total mess, so it is probably a bullet dodged.

    For the record – I do believe what I said. Not that I have disrespect for executives, but they do tend to be rather tone deaf when it comes to the workforce. Not all of them, but a great deal of those I have encountered in my career.

  255. Paralegal Part Deux*

    I had a job interview at a law firm that is mid-sized and a step up from where I work now. I was so nervous about I took a klonopin and then drove myself to the interview. It didn’t affect my driving, thankfully. Instead, I rambled and rambled during the interview. I knew I needed to shut up but did not have the ability to do so. You know that little voice that tells you to “STFU, like yesterday!” Yeah, my medicated other half was like “LOLZ, nah, I got this!”

    I can’t even remember what all I rambled about, but it was so bad. When I left, I was mortified sitting in my car and knew, then and there, that there was no way on earth I was getting that job.

    I was right. :/

  256. Brioche*

    I was interviewing for a French-language call center support job. I majored in French in college and spoke it well. Come time for the interview, I forgot every word of French I had ever known. It. was. awful.

    I did not get the job.

    1. Chris*

      You were probably just nervous. It happens to me; when I am not nervous, I remember everything I need to remember. When I am nervous, my mind goes completely blank. It’s not ideal but I have learned to manage it better over the years.

      1. Brioche*

        Oh, I was definitely nervous! This was my first post-college job interview. I’m much better in interviews, though I haven’t had to speak French again…yet.

    2. Usagi*

      Ahhh a similar situation happened to me, but with Japanese! To make things even worse, Japanese is my first language! I had moved to the US and was looking for a job, and had been speaking English almost exclusively since the move. Same thing, I for some reason could not remember any of my Japanese, and looked like a straight up liar saying things like “I’m born and raised in Tokyo” and “I’ve been speaking Japanese all my life.”

      I didn’t hear back, and I’m kind of glad I didn’t. I don’t know how I would’ve talked to anyone from that company ever again.

  257. Sarafina*

    I went on an interview before I started my current job that went horribly. I had an awful a few weeks before that was lingering only slightly. The day before the interview, things got worse and my ears plugged up so bad I couldn’t hear much. I went to the interview and explained nicely what was going on. Needless to say, probably for the fact that the interviewer had to yell his questions put him off.

    I went to the doctor the next day and I had a Eustachian Tube Dysfunction and ended up requiring a hefty does of steroids. I was all cleared up before I started a temp job, which turned into my current (and permanent!) position. But my current boss would have not been phased by a temporarily deaf employee. It would’ve been met with good humor!

  258. JustaTech*

    One of my first career-type job interviews out of college I was interviewing for a lowly lab position at a big research institute. I get to the interview and they ask me how I would calculate the molarity of a solution I was making. Now, I’m not a chemist, and my college was firmly of the opinion that there’s not point in just memorizing stuff, either you’ll use it every day and know it, or you’ll look it up. So I said I would look up the formula and all the data for the ingredients of the solution I was making. “And what if you don’t have the internet?” “I’d look it up in a textbook or look at the calculations from the last time it was made or ask for help.”

    Apparently this was the wrong answer. (Oh yeah, and this was not advertised as a chemistry job, it was advertised as a cell culture job where you might make a lot of very precise solutions, but none that require molarity calculations.) I was crushed.

    1. linger*

      That’s unfortunate. Your college seems to have done its students a disservice here by handwaving about how much you needed to know, versus what you should look up, for any given role.
      Biochem routinely requires molarity calculations (e.g. for preparing buffer solutions).
      The sort of answer your interviewers were probably expecting is the general formula, which anyone with high school science would be expected to know:
      (mass(g)/molecular weight (g/mol))/volume (L) = molarity (mol/L).
      You would also be expected to know the chemical formulas for most common reagents.
      But you’d have to calculate the exact molecular weight (using SI Tables or some similar reference for the component atomic weights, since they’re not all easily memorable whole numbers).

  259. LadyCop*

    Was in school, and was applying to different Community Service Officer positions around town. I generally was well prepared, but between school, work, an hour commute, and multiple interviews, I sometimes relied too much on my wit.
    I han an interview with Pleasantville Police Department. After the usual pleasantries, they ask me the first question:
    What do you know about Pleasantville?
    Me: *crickets*
    I awkwardly glossed over my non existent knowledge, and proceeded to stumble through the rest of the interview.
    I obviously was not asked back for a second interview.

    Oddly enough, I often got turned down for the many positions I interviewed for because they told me “You should apply for our Police Officer position. ” Which was little consult given the hundreds of applications departments in my state receive for each open position…

    I thought it was the most mortifying thing possible, until I started reading this blog in 2015, and actually doing some hiring. Seen much worse in interviews I’ve conducted.

  260. Katie A.*

    On my way to the interview, I swiped my card (a monthly pass that could only be swiped once every 20 minutes to prevent more than one person from using it) into the subway terminal and got the dreaded “Please swipe again” … and again … and then after my third swipe, still not having gotten through, the even more dreaded “Invalid Swipe – Card just used.” Ugh! The agent’s booth was at the other station entrance several uphill blocks away. So, knowing that I’d paid for my ride, I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and ducked under the turnstile. At that, a tarp covering the station wall swung open, revealing a hidden door, and out stepped a transit cop. I definitely thought I was going to get arrested on my way to the interview – an interview for a church job, no less! But after the cop determined I was sufficiently chastised, he sent me on my way.

    At the interview, the hiring manager brought me to meet with the ED before meeting with the rest of the interview committee. Sometime during the meeting with the ED, I realized my stockings had a huge run. So after our interview, I sort of backed out of his office, casually asked the hiring manager for the ladies’ room, kinda sidled into the restroom and threw away my stockings, hoping my mom’s insistence that pantyhose were ALWAYS REQUIRED for an interview wasn’t true.

    I was also working as a community organizer at the time and didn’t have a lot of formal clothes, so I was wearing a tweed pencil skirt and tweed blazer – after Memorial Day – and getting progressively more damp with sweat.

    I miraculously got the job, and I’m still here eight years later – and my coworker still teases me about my summertime tweed. :)

  261. Mary Whitney*

    OOOOH. When I was a fresh graduate and looking for, really, ANY job at all, I interviewed at an optometry office. I had two rounds of interviews. The first was with the office manager and it went pretty well. The second was with the doctor himself as well as the office manager.

    Guys, that was the most mortifying interview of my life. Apparently the office we had used for my initial interview was unavailable, so the doctor interviewed me in one of the exam rooms. Instead of having me sit in a normal chair, like a normal person, he told me that I got the “hot seat” and wanted me to sit on the exam chair. The office manager did try to offer me one of the AVAILABLE normal seats but the doctor insisted I sit in the exam chair. I was 21 and really needed the job so I went along with it. It was one of those reclining chairs, and I’m a really small person, so in order to not show everyone what was under my skirt I had to perch awkwardly on the edge.

    The doctor then grilled me about my degree path and why I wasn’t pursuing my masters degree for most of the interview. I totally bombed it because I was so uncomfortable being in the exam chair. They told me they’d be in contact in the next few days but I never heard back – not until about a month later, after I’d already accepted a (much better) job.

  262. Cautionary tale*

    I asked my aunt to get me an interview for an entry level position at a company where she held a very high level position in the same department. The initial screening interview went fine, I advanced to a one-on-one with the hiring manager, and he was asking about specifics of the experience I had listed on my resume, when it happened. Being young and inexperienced, and not having the wisdom of the Ask a Manager site to guide me, I had taken to heart the folk wisdom that “everyone exaggerates on their resume, it’s no big deal, companies expect it!” and said that I had done troubleshooting on a system I had in fact barely used.

    Within just a few questions, that became very obvious (especially since, being young and inexperienced and insecure, I had trouble remembering what I HAD done and was liable to downplay it besides.) and the interviewer straight up called me out on it, asking, “So you lied on your resume? Why did you do that?” I couldn’t even answer – what was there to say? I just sat there in my humiliated dishonesty until mercifully they let me go.

    It’s been fifteen years and I still think about that. My aunt continues to talk to me (and continued to work for that company until her retirement last year) so I guess I didn’t totally ruin her reputation there. I probably would have been qualified for the job without the exaggerations, but I almost certainly would not have been a good fit for their buttoned up corporate culture. Ironically, I now work for a company that spun off from that one, and sometimes need to liason with the people in that department I interviewed with. I tell myself they don’t remember me.

  263. Sarah*

    I’m trying not to take it as a sign from the universe that this is the first thing I read after getting back from a job interview this morning.

  264. ElectricKatyLand*

    Oh man, I went on an interview while I was still on maternity leave, and I hadn’t worn real clothes or shoes or makeup for a couple months. Apparently my professional filter was similarly rusty, because I answered the ‘how do you deal with professional conflict’ question by saying something along the lines of that I was raised in The South, so I know how to be nice to people’s faces and then save the politely worded badmouthing til when they leave. It was not great. I did not get the job offer.

  265. Pennalynn Lott*

    In my early 20’s I interviewed for an admin assistant position at a small tech company. I aced the first interview, got along great with everyone, was polished and professional but still friendly. I got called back for a second interview with the execs of the company and for some weird reason I treated it like a day hanging out with friends. I wore jeans tucked into slouch boots, which I remember clearly because I PROPPED MY FEET UP ON THE CONFERENCE TABLE, crossing my ankles. I think I was even chewing — and popping — bubblegum.

    In a surprise to absolutely no one but me, I didn’t get the job.

  266. Shannon*

    Oh let’s see.

    Recently received the rejection email as the interviewer was telling me what a strong candidate I was and how they were sending my resume up to the hiring manager.

    One (panel!) interview asked me to talk about waterfall vs agile and I lost every bit of knowledge I had about either. I still can’t articulate to you what I said but even as it came out of mouth I knew it was nonsense. And the looks on all five faces told me I was right.

    On a day I had a series of interviews lined up, one of the early interviewers spent her time staring at the half inch of tattoo that peeks out from under my blazer sleeve, and then popped up in the middle of the interview to leave me with the second interviewer. When we were done, the coordinator came in and said the next interviewer had a sudden emergency and they were going to cancel the other two remaining. As if I hadn’t noticed the tattoo Problem. (chuckle) Sadly the technical parts had been so fantastic that I was feeling good before this.

  267. now gainfully employed*

    Several years ago I had just graduated college and was living with a friend’s very generous parents while I tried to get literally any job with my art history degree after my planned path fell through due to a very unfortunate combo of illness (mine) and budget cuts (the organization’s.) I was applying to literally anything that was art-related– gallery jobs, nonprofits, art supply stores…. I was SO desperate.

    So when an internal records position opened up at an arts nonprofit, I was thrilled– my experience matched up, it was a nonprofit I was excited about, and the pay was good. Two days before the interview they emailed me to say that they’d decided they didn’t need a records manager after all, but they saw that I had some experience with Photoshop on my resume, and would I be interested in applying for a graphic design role. No details on the position or what they were looking for. I think they were “doing me a favor” because my initial cover letter was impressive.

    Now, I took some art classes in college, and I did have Photoshop experience, but I had literally never done design projects (aside from making a few logos for my parent’s friends.) I emailed back to say I was absolutely interested (I’m cringing in hindsight) and spent the next two days frantically googling “how to make a graphic design portfolio” and throwing album covers I’d made for mixtapes in high school into Photoshop templates.

    I walked into the interview a nervous wreck (traffic had been awful) with my “portfolio” clutched in shaking hands. They asked me some what I now realize are very normal design questions about campaigns I’d worked on, how I would handle developing a design strategy, etc. I tried desperately to make the case that my experience with campus events planning could count as a campaign while thinking “you know I haven’t done any design work! You saw my resume!”

    The interview was so short that they technically didn’t need to validate my parking, as anything under 30 minutes was free. They did give me a validation ticket, though, so I used that extra time to sit in my car and cry. WHOOF.

  268. Vemasi*

    When I first graduated college, I thought “conversational” was the appropriate term to put on a resume when you are not “fluent” in a foreign language. Which is dumb–as an English major, I should know that the literal meaning of a word is probably what it means–but I had just graduated and was trying to beef up my resume with every possible addition. I had only minored in Spanish and, while I could stumble through a slow conversation with a professor, I was by no means conversational in Spanish. What I should have put was that I could read Spanish or, as I do now, left it off entirely and mentioned it if it came up.

    Anyway, I interviewed for the first time for a full-time job, in a big PR firm in a city three hours away, and was asked to speak Spanish with a very intimidating upper management-type (he was not fluent either, but he wanted to test me). I could barely get through a sentence and forgot how to conjugate ser. He was not easy on me and I felt like an idiot.

    Honestly, though, I’m very happy I didn’t get that job. I developed anxiety a couple years later and I really depend on being close to my family and nature to deal with it, in addition to my low-pressure job.

  269. Karo*

    In my state there is an ambulance chaser law firm named Williams Injury Lawyers, known for being a bad place to work in addition to being sort of slimy. I was working with a headhunter at the time and when they told me they had an interview for me at a law firm, I was concerned it was going to be with a firm like Williams. Instead, it was at a firm named Williamson, Alpaca and Llama.

    Interview wasn’t really good or bad either way, but as I left I made an offhand comment about being concerned before I found out what firm I was interviewing with because I wouldn’t want to work at a firm “like Williamson.” The interviewer sort of looked at me weird and then showed me the door.

    About a week later, after thank you notes and all that were sent, I realized what I had done. Shockingly didn’t get the job after telling them that I wouldn’t want to work for a firm like theirs.

  270. LunaMei*

    When I was about 24-25, I interviewed at a hospital system in my city, in the marketing department. I was trying to move into editing/design, and I found a position that read like a junior level publications designer/writer/editor. It sounded perfect! The posting requested only a few years of experience, listed out some of the responsibilities, etc…it all sounded exactly what I had been doing, but would be focused solely on the hospital’s publications. I was super excited, and applied, and my dad knew someone on the board who mentioned me to the head of the publications department (which I feel really cringey about now). However when I got there, it quickly became clear that they were hiring for a full-blown magazine editor-in-chief – someone to replace the editor-in-chief who was retiring after 30 years. They wanted someone who could run a magazine, with many years experience in managing teams, editorial work, etc etc. I went from being confident to totally deflated, after I kept answering “No..no…no experience in that…no…no” to all the interviewer’s questions. After a while we just sat in silence. The interviewer was gracious to me and gently told me that maybe this wasn’t the right role for me, to which I agreed. I was really embarrassed though, and just sort of slunk out of the office.

    So either they totally misrepresented the job in the posting, or they got me mixed up with someone else. My next few interviews for marketing positions went about the same, and I took it as a sign from the universe I should shift away from that. I did, and am now working on databases, and much happier. :)

    1. MissDisplaced*

      It sounds like they either didn’t value the work that 30 year veteran editor-in-chief did, or they didn’t understand what he did.

      I’ve had a few interviews like that. Company was asking for the moon & stars, and lots of specialized experienced when the job post seemed quite lower level.

      1. LunaMei*

        I think it was a bit of both, the former EIC sounded like she had started out very junior and basically created that publication from scratch. I don’t remember if she actually had the title of “editor in chief” but it was most definitely the duties of one. I think it might have been a case of, she was hired as something fairly junior and never really got a title change, but definitely had the work and the influence of a higher level, so when the dept went to replace her, they just saw a title and thought “okay that’s what the job is”.

  271. Jigglypuff*

    Interviewed for a position in the admissions department of [University]. During the interview I was asked if I thought everyone should attend [University]. Since I hadn’t yet learned the trick of giving the answer they want versus telling them the truth, I said of course not, that [University] is great but wouldn’t be the best place for every single person. No surprise here: I did not get the job.

    1. Bopper*

      I would be more worried if you said Yes! If you want a Big10 football school and your school is a small liberal arts college, then it isn’t for you.

  272. VAP*

    My first year on the academic job market, I got a phone call from the chair of a department I’d applied to, calling to schedule the phone interview with the committee. Why he couldn’t just email me to set up a time like everyone else does, I have no idea. This was also the first time I’d gotten a response to an application (and the first time I’d ever applied for real jobs–I went straight from undergrad to my PhD), so I was already a bit flustered. But he introduced himself kind of quickly and I couldn’t make out the name of the school he said he was from, and I’d submitted about a dozen applications by then for jobs in different sub-fields at different places. I managed the scheduling part fine, but then he kept asking me if I had any questions that he could answer right then. I did not–I couldn’t even remember what this job was for or where it was, much less anything I wanted to know about it. It was awkward and I think I sounded hopelessly flustered. The official phone interview went ok, but I didn’t get to the next step.

    This one wasn’t on me, but a few years ago I was on a campus visit (a two-day interview I’d traveled to). The first faculty member I talked to on the main day was clearly worried that I’d be concerned (reasonably) about why they had several faculty members who had just left. So she told that one of them was moving because she and her wife didn’t find the area welcoming to them–I think it was meant to be reassuring, that she hadn’t left because she didn’t like the department or school, but also being a woman married to a woman, I was suddenly wondering if I wanted that job at all after all. In the end I was glad she’d mentioned it, because it let me ask other people much more direct questions than I would have otherwise, but it was still a really bad moment right then.

    1. That Girl from Quinn's House*

      I wonder if she mentioned the “unwelcoming for a woman married to a woman” as a kindness to you, so you could make a fully informed decision about moving to an area where homophobia was common.

      1. VAP*

        Some people might have! Knowing her better, I don’t think so–I really do think it was intended in totally another direction. She’s plenty welcoming and all, but had no idea that I was gay (I read as straight to literally everyone, including my wife up until the actual moment I asked her out). I do think she intended to be reassuring. As I said, it ended up being for the best, and I do appreciate the honesty, but it wasn’t what I expected in the moment.

  273. Bopper*

    My daughter went to the mall to apply for a summer job. She sat at a table filling out an application.
    A developly disabled young man was walking by with his helper person but just grabbed my daughter’s hair.
    She was extricated but flustered and the manager of the Pretzel store saw all this asked if she would like anything…we accepted a soda and he asked if she was applying for jobs and she said yes…he gave her an application, interviewed her and hired her!

  274. JPVaina*

    I was an intern interviewing for a full-time position at a company, and thought that I had it in the bag. When one of the interviewers asked where I saw myself in 5 years, I responded “Wow, that’s exactly what my dad is always asking me.” I also responded to a couple of other questions way too comfortably. I obviously didn’t get the job, but now professional me is mortified by my responses.

  275. Maniacal laughter*

    This is my specialist subject.

    Absolute highlight – I once went to an interview where they asked for an example of a time I’d resolved conflict – and I responded with a terrible laugh and said “Well, I’ve caused some trouble”.

    I hadn’t caused any trouble. I had left my last job when there were redundancies – I’d been a union rep (in the UK) and had negotiated during the redundancy, got decent offers for voluntary redundancy and left with such good will with management that I had the settlement agreement I took modified to remove the reference agreement because I was going to get a glowing one.

    I think I was possessed. It makes other interviews look wonderful by comparison. I also had to finish the interview – so imagine the horror of continuing to talk to people after you’d done that.

    I had one interview once with a law centre that was vaguely cooperative. They had a 5 interview panel – so whoever you looked at someone was in your peripheral vision. They were cooperative enough to have included an admin worker on the panel. But not cooperative enough to have given her a question she understood. I didn’t understand it (language that was used differently in the specific organisation I was coming from) and she couldn’t explain. We just stared at each other for a long time.

    I had another interview where my shoe started falling off (bought them specifically to be smart at the interview!) and I panicked and kind of slumped in my chair trying to push it back on before anyone noticed. At some point I realised the weird hunched thing was much worse than just having a problem with my shoe – and I had to explain. The interview didn’t really recover. I knew one person on the panel, and I’d applied to 2 roles they were advertising and been shortlisted for both. So I had to go back and sit miserably in front of them the next day as well.

    I once interviewed for a job I was already doing – and couldn’t answer the lead in easy question they started with – either why I wanted the job, or why I thought I was good at it. (I didn’t like the job, I wasn’t good at it – I can’t bluff, particularly with people I know).

    I’ve had only one job where I actually had a problem with my employer. Things got bad and were eventually resolved legally. At some later point I got interviewed for a promotion and they asked about a time when I had faced a problem at work. The only thing going through my mind was “Don’t mention the time I sued them due to discrimination, Don’t mention the time I sued them due to discrimination”. I think that was a correct instinct, it’s just a shame I couldn’t then think of anything else to say. (Did get the promotion in 6 months when I could apply again).

    I once managed to upset an organisation so much they offered me an interview and then withdrew it before it happened.

    On a good day I’m actually very good in a weird way. How much I care about my work really comes through and I’m knowledgeable (technical and soft skills). The people who actually like me enough to give me jobs are also the people who are OK with the weird so that works out well.

    My current job I tried so hard to be professional and balanced when asked to comment on a governmental organisation that I spend my life challenging. I failed. I was offered the job on the spot. (Which I reacted to in obvious abject terror because of ongoing negotiations with my last employer because discriminating against me once hadn’t been enough for them – which were just about to be settled and sort out a reference issue). My manager wanted people who were passionate. He’s accidentally selected people who can’t hide how they feel – and as someone who really really struggles with hidden communication I’m finally in a team where I actually understand everyone. I’m not baffled and worrying I missed something. It’s great.

    My mother had a university interview and accidentally walked into a cupboard at the end. It must be genetic.

  276. Veronica Mars*

    I was interviewing for co-ops and fresh off of a (genuinely) fantastic class on how to interview. I was so prepped with all my AMAZING star interview responses. Long, drawn out, unique ones when one or two stories could have related to multiple questions, but alas. The poor interviewer had this long checklist of STAR questions they had to ask. I gave long, drawn out answers to all of them. The interview went on for over an hour, at which point he interrupted and said “Maybe use an example you’ve already told to answer this question.” I… did not. I used a new story.

    Poor guy must have been exhausted by my enthusiasm lol.

    1. Veronica Mars*

      Of course, on the flip side, I once had a phone interview where I hung up and immediately called my mom sobbing about how the hiring manager hated me and I totally bombed it and he asked so many difficult questions I didn’t have good answers for. Only to have to pause the call to answer the job calling me back, offering me the job!

      That boss ended up being the best boss I ever had. It was just his ‘tactic’ to grill people, I guess.

  277. Amanda Jayne*

    I thought I had found my dream teaching position. I was fresh out of university, and it was back in my hometown. I had been told that the person in this position transferred to a new school, so imagine my surprise when the “current” position-holder sat on the interview panel. They asked many questions that seemed to have little to do with the role as described, only for me to find AT THE END OF THE INTERVIEW that they did in fact fill the role internally, and NEVER UPDATED the postings. I was totally unprepared to discuss kindergarten art, and had been dishing out middle school advice to THE PERSON WITH THE JOB.

  278. Christy*

    I once, when asked about a time I’d pushed back against my manager and why I would, brought up a recent situation and framed it as a matter of ethics.

    Did I mention that my interview panel was my current bosses?

    Needless to say, they did not appreciate being called unethical.

    (I still got the job, which I’d already been doing temporarily for months. But I think it was by the skin of my teeth. My boss, after I accepted the job over the phone, dove right into giving me feedback and I literally had a panic attack over it, and I was on a work trip so didn’t have my Xanax available.)

  279. Nicole*

    These stories are great! It left me with a question though- what’s the best way to address bra-accidentally showing incidents?

    I met with a lady once whose middle two buttons had popped open, and you could see her bra and quite a bit of her chest. Our meeting included a male colleague, and I ended up not saying anything, because I was worried that pointing it out in front of a man might make her more uncomfortable than not saying anything? Should I have slipped her a note? Anyone have suggestions for how to deal with this?

    1. Veronica Mars*

      I think I would have said “Oh, we’ll be right back” and brought her out in the hall to let her know.

      Mostly because once its pointed out, she would have to fix it, and adjusting yourself in front of men is so so awkward. But I think its better to tell them, and give them a chance to turn it into a look-how-well-interviewee-handles-embarrassment moment, than for all of you to remember her as “the girl with the bra.”

  280. Xingcat*

    Years ago, I had a second interview with a law firm, to work as their knowledge manager. This was a “culture interview” that took place at a fancy restaurant for brunch with a few of the partners. The waiter said, “Any allergies?” and I mentioned my severe allergy to avocado. The waiter must have misheard me, because I promptly was served an omelette with avocado in it, and went into anaphylactic shock. An ambulance had to be called, as I hadn’t packed my Epi-Pen for an interview, and I never heard from the law firm again. Perhaps they didn’t want to get sued!

  281. Bubbles McPherson*

    Interviewing for a DREAM JOB – seriously one I’ve dreamed about since high school and I’m now in my 40s. The job was managing and leading programs for a nonprofit, including developing new ones. I was acing all the questions, doing great at the small talk, when they pulled out this one:

    “What ideas do you have for new programs?”

    Despite that being a large part of the job, I inexplicably had not prepared for that question, My brain went blank, my tongue tripped over itself, and I gave some half-assed answer that did not do me justice and probably made me look like a moron.

    They were not impressed and hired someone who, frankly, is phenomenal and doing a much better job than I ever could have. I’m now in a job with incredible benefits and flexibility that is exactly what I need at this point in my career and life – and I’ve recalibrated my definition of a DREAM JOB.

  282. DCGirl*

    I think I’ve mentioned this before, but…

    I worked in fund raising at a college, and our office was in a very modern cantilevered building with odd twists and turns. We had an applicant come in, interview, and then take a wrong turn as she was leaving and go out an emergency door onto the roof of one the levels. Not surprisingly, this set off the fire alarm, and the entire building — which included everyone having lunch in the cafeteria — evacuated out onto the lawn where we all turned, faced the building, and saw this poor woman standing on the roof dying of embarrassment. The door, of course, had locked behind her.

    She was the best applicant and she got the job, but spent the first couple of months trying to live that day down.

  283. KayEss*

    Just remembered another one, though the issues were more on the hiring side…

    I was too naive at the time to recognize the NUMEROUS red flags in my initial interview with the owner (she talked about herself for an hour, she ranted at one point about how someone who had moved on to another job had personally betrayed her by doing so, and when she left the room briefly the “HR” manager informed me that yes she was a handful but everyone else just worked around her and made up for it) but then I was taken on a tour of the office… at which point one of the highest-ranking employees asked me the interview question “would you rather have your face horribly disfigured or be paraplegic?”

    Again, I was EXTREMELY naive, so I somehow gave this steaming turd of a conversation starter the most considered and sensitive answer I could. They offered me the job, and, all deities help me, I ACTUALLY TOOK IT. Literally the biggest mistake of my life thus far, let me tell you. I look back on that entire day and full-body cringe that I didn’t immediately run away screaming.

    (Shockingly enough, it turned out that inappropriate question guy was the ringleader in the toxic stew of long-time employees who were not the narcissist owner. His “thing” was asking strangers LIKE THE MAILMAN questions like the above, or his other favorite, “do you pee in the shower?” Also sexual harassment! I was suicidal again by the time I escaped a year later.)

  284. Interview Failing Teacher*

    Two of my first professional interviews were both major failures. Out of undergrad, I joined Teach For America (TFA). I’m not sure how they place teachers these days, but back in the Dark Ages when I was placed, TFA staff organized all of your interviews and if you were offered a teaching job, you had to take that job. Everything went through them, similar to how a contracting agency works. My first interview I was assigned to, I was very sick with some kind of head cold or sinus infection. Add that to a couple of weeks of sleep deprivation while undergoing the TFA summer training, and I was useless. The interview basically devolved into the principal of the school lecturing me on how bad I was doing at the interview and all the things I should do to improve. I was mortified but also so numb from my Nyquil hangover that it took a while for the mortification to sink in. The staff member who coordinated my interview received a swift rejection from her, yet then somehow convinced her to give me a second shot. I went back and interviewed all over again and got hired, but I think the only reason the principal hired me was that it would make her look better to have a TFA teacher on her staff.

    At the end of my second year at that school, when my commitment to TFA was winding down, I applied for a job with another school. It was a new school and they were very disorganized, so I remember the whole interview process being a bit of a train wreck. As part of the process, one of the school’s heads would come to your current job to observe you teaching your class. Scheduling a date / time for the observation was a bit of a hassle, but we eventually got it set. My class was supposed to have PE the morning of the observation/interview, and I had told the interviewer I would teach until PE time and then be able to talk while the class had PE.

    I was still very much a beginner teacher at this point, but it was literally the worst morning of teaching I had done in months. I taught young elementary, and the students were hyped up because there was a visitor, so they didn’t listen as well as usual. I went through the lesson but things just didn’t go as smoothly as usual. Several students began misbehaving and I had to deal with that. Then, the PE teacher didn’t show up on time. I stretched my lesson but soon she was 10 minutes late showing up to pick up my class and I had completed everything in my lesson.

    My mind was going blank for something else to do as the kids got more and more restless, so I decided to break out the CD player and lead them in some music and movement activities (all songs and movement activities they were familiar with!). One kid got so wound up, he jumped across the floor and collided headfirst with a classmate. Immediately, blood began pouring from his nose. We didn’t have a sink in the room, and the students were too young to send unsupervised to the hallway bathroom or nurse’s office. I think I tried calling the nurse’s office but no one picked up. It’s honestly all a blur from then on, but I believe the interviewer kept an eye on my class while I escorted the youngster to the office to get help. Finally, finally, the PE teacher showed up (by then 20+ min late) and I could escape.

    At that point there wasn’t time to talk for long, but there also wasn’t much to say. Some awkward interview-ish conversation took place and he said he would follow up about the next steps. Then, he ghosted me. I finally followed up, expecting to hear “thanks, but no thanks”, and instead learned I was still in the running (how?? why??). What followed next was supposed to be an in-person meeting for the interview portion, but getting a date and time for that was like pulling teeth. I was still interested in the job, but I was also contemplating a move back across the country to my home state, so it was pretty important to me to find out their decision either way. Finally, we decided on a time for the interview though he wouldn’t agree where I was to meet him. Then, I got an email that his computer had crashed, causing him to lose his notes from my observation (which at this point was several weeks in the past), and that instead of meeting he would just call me.

    He did actually call me, and I received my second tirade in two years on what a poor job I had done for the interview and things I should have done differently. (There was some bit about what he would have liked to have seen during the observation instead. I had sent him my classroom schedule prior to arranging the observation – if he had wanted to observe something different, he could have come at a different time of day. But I digress). Somewhere in there, he alluded to the fact that I wasn’t getting the job, but I’m not sure if he actually came right out and said it.

    The whole ordeal during the observation was discouraging and disheartening but that final phone conversation was the icing on the cake, especially considering it was completely unnecessary. He could have emailed me the day after the observation and said it wasn’t a good fit, or some other polite-fiction rejection. Instead he ghosted me, then strung me along, then tore me down. I’m glad that I can now look back and thank my lucky stars that the observation didn’t go well!

  285. Clarey*

    I was living in a part of the U.K. with a strong regional accent. I kept getting interviews but no job offers, and convinced myself it was because I sounded too “posh”. The next interview, I imitated (terribly!) this particular regional accent for the entire interview. It was awful. I didn’t get the job; in fact, I got a rejection email as soon as I got home.

  286. Potayto, Potahto*

    Years ago and a recent grad…When asked, “what’s something you’re good at?” I blurted out, “Making mashed potatoes.” Was this in the food or culinary industry? Nope. I then proceeded to blab on about my mashed potato making ‘technique’ for at least two excruciating minutes.

    The worst part: I wasn’t really great at making mashed potatoes back then. It was the first panicked answer that popped into my head and I rolled with it.

    I’m still cringing years later. Surprisingly, they asked me a week after to provide writing samples for review. I should’ve sent in a mashed potato recipe…

  287. PookieLou*

    My worst interview was a couple years after college graduation. I’d taken advantages of some temp opportunities abroad, and was ready for my first real, full-time, “big girl” job. I knew that realistically, it would be difficult to find work in my preferred area, so my goal was to find something that would pay the bills, with an enjoyable work atmosphere. This was an interview for one of the many admin positions I applied for.

    Just about everything went wrong. I got hopelessly lost in the neighborhood surrounding the office and arrived late. I dressed in an outfit that I thought was “grown-up professional”, which was actually just incredibly frumpy and completely at odds with the casual office dress code. (The interviewer wore skinny jeans and a neon t-shirt full of cut-outs. Nobody in the office wore anything dressier than jeans and an un-tucked button-down shirt.) I’m usually great in interviews, but maybe I was really flustered after being late and realizing that I came dressed like a 20-something granny, because I bombed just about every question. I answered one question about going above and beyond with a reference to a food service job from college that wasn’t even on my resume anymore. I was obviously nervous and visibly cringing at my own ineptitude. It’s still the worst interview I’ve ever done, even as a teenager trying to get a job assembling sandwiches.

    What’s interesting is that after some time had passed, I was kind of glad it didn’t work out, because with my limited experience I wouldn’t have recognized that the interviewer kind of bombed as well. One of her questions was “What do you imagine a typical day on the job will be like?” (Isn’t this a more appropriate question coming FROM the candidate?) I regurgitated as much information as I could about what I’d learned from the job posting and the company website, and she seemed almost annoyed that I didn’t know that the position was “so much more than just that”. (The job listing made it seem like a very simple and straightforward admin job. How was I supposed to know about the “so much more”?) She asked what other jobs I was applying for, down to details about specific companies and whether I’d had interviews, and wrote down every detail of my response on a worksheet. (I wanted to ask why and say that it wasn’t important for her to know, but I felt scared that it would reflect poorly on me. Like that would have been what tanked the interview.) She was so casual in her dress, speech, and demeanor (sitting with one leg up on the arm of her chair, chewing gum, etc), that I felt like I was interviewing with a teenager rather than a professional I could take seriously, especially for decisions like hiring. Even in my 20s I always preferred a more formal, buttoned-up professional environment to a “fun” one where people shoot Nerf guns at each other and have desks littered with action figures (nothing wrong with that if it works, it’s just not my style), so this office wouldn’t have been a good fit for me at all.

    In the end, the decision not to move forward felt understandably mutual. To the interviewer’s credit, I got a personal phone call letting me know they weren’t going to continue my candidacy after my single interview with them, which I thought was above and beyond. (I’m pretty sure I responded with a “Yeah, I know.” It was that bad.) Fortunately, by some miracle, I had somehow landed a job within my preferred field the day before said phone call. I sometimes wonder what kind of person they decided to hire, and how that all turned out.

  288. Turtlewings*

    Several years ago, just before GPS became a thing, I got massively lost on my way to the interview location. I didn’t even have their number on me to contact them about it. I arrived an hour and a half late, flustered and tearful. By some miracle they decided to let me stay until closing (a couple of hours) to see if they could work me in. Ultimately they could not, which turned out to be just as well since, I realized as I stood to go, the seam of my sweater had torn all the way from my armpit to the hem. They would have seen a lot more of me than I ever intended!

  289. cheese please*

    I was in my senior year of college and was applying for a cool consumer goods focused company that has a substantial R&D dept. (I studied engineering). It was a two-person interview with a higher-level person and a more junior person who was an alumni of my school, which was standard for their on-campus interviews at my school. The only question I remember was them asking me “what is the hardest technical problem you ever solved” and I went on to to talk about the hardest project in my hardest class the previous semester, probably trying to impress them. As the interviewers started to press into how I actually *solved* the problem with more technical questions I started getting flustered and less sure of myself, because IT WAS THE HARDEST PROBLEM EVER. Halfway through my (very terrible) explanation the more senior interviewer pulled out his phone, didn’t apologize or step out of the room, and started scrolling while leaning back in his chair. No apologies after he put it away a few minutes later and the junior interviewer had moved on to her next question. I was crushed and upset and just felt SO TERRIBLE about myself. What kind of person comes to a college campus and doesn’t have even the slightest respect or patience for young and nervous students?

    Being much more confident now I feel certain I can speak up for myself if a similar situation arises (hopefully not) but this experience stuck with me for many many years. Ugh.

    1. cheese please*

      Note to say that I realize many experiences are much worse. But I’m very sensitive to how people judge me in these sorts of setting and at the time I had no confidence to stand up to people in positions of power.

  290. BananaSalamander*

    I was the interviewer on this one but I had a job candidate one time respond to a question about other aspects of the work our company does that interest her with “I really love writing. Right now, I’m writing an erotic novel that I hope will – oh, I shouldn’t have said that. Oh, I’m so sorry. Oh, that was not appropriate. Oh, I can’t believe I just said that. Oh, this is bad. Oh, I —”

    I had to cut her off and tell her not to worry about it and that I love to hear that a candidate really enjoys writing. We moved on with the interview, but she was clearly really uncomfortable for the rest of the interview. (She got the job and a year later confided in me that she was flabbergasted we’d offered it to her even though she’d mentioned that hobby in the interview.) She’s a great employee but I have not asked about the status of her novel.

  291. Laney Boggs*

    Interviewing for my current position, which I really didnt want (I was temping for the same company, there was no openings in that department, and I needed PTO), I was asked “What does your ideal job look like?”

    Gobsmacked. I honestly think I floundered for a full minute trying to think of how I could say “Yes I’d love to be customer service for retailers’

  292. Anonymouse*

    I showed up on the wrong day. Interview was a Tuesday, and I came on Wednesday…so I didn’t just show up on the wrong day, I also no-showed the day before. The hiring manager was kind enough to interview me anyway, but we both knew I was DOA so it was super uncomfortable. I was SURE *I* had the day right and looked forward to my answering machine declaring me the winner, but when I played back their message…

  293. JuniorAccountant*

    While finishing my degree in music, I lucked into a part-time job for a corporate accounting department that offered me a junior accountant position after I graduated. Great! Salary, benefits, on-the-job training, the works. I never even had to interview.

    A few years later, with some experience under my belt, I was ready to stretch my wings (despite still having no formal accounting training). My recruiter sent me on an interview that initially went really well. They liked my experience, didn’t mind the non-related degree, and I aced their written accounting skills test. After a long discussion about GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles) to make sure I understood my stuff, the interviewer asked “do you have any questions for us?” and I, wanting to sound clever about accounting terms, say “Do you keep cash or accrual books?” I will never forget the sinking sensation I felt when the interviewer–after a very painful pause–said, “GAAP *is* accrual accounting.”

    Did not get that job.

  294. Anongineer*

    Oh I’ve got two from college that happened on the same day!

    So my college had a career center, where companies would have the applicants (aka students) apply for internships through the school and then interview on site. I went through the process, and got two interviews – one at like 8 am and one at 12 pm.

    I showed up a bit early for the first interview – my first interview ever – and met with the interviewer. Answered typical questions, until he saw that I was from Minnesota. Cue 45 minutes of never-ending questions and stories about ice fishing. Fun fact: not all Minnesotans ice fish! So I just sat there and mmhmm’ed for the most part. Surprisingly didn’t get that job.

    I go to class and return for the second interview, but I can’t find the company anywhere and there’s no record of them having interviews that day. Checked my email, confirmed it was the right day and time. However, there’s no location for this one. Turns out, the recruiter who organized it was in a different location (and time zone). I call her, she tells me it’s actually for 1 pm my time, but at their office which was about 30 minutes away. She calls the interviewer to let them know about the mix up, and I’m trying my hardest to get there on time. I didn’t have a car at the time, Uber/Lyft didn’t exist, and I couldn’t afford a cab ride there and back. So I frantically call all of my friends begging them to take me to this interview. One finally is able to, I show up about 30 minutes late and am frazzled but somehow manage to make it through. And then I had to wait outside their office building for an hour while my friend was in Lab… I did get that one! Not sure if it was out of pity or I actually did well.

    I went home after and just drank to forget that day.

  295. Pennalynn Lott*

    Another one: I recently graduated from a Master’s program and, during my last semester, was fishing around for full-time jobs and/or lengthy rotation programs (full-time, but limited to 2-3 years). I was an accounting major with a specialty in internal audit. I went for a group interview at one of the country’s largest banking/financial institutions for a 2-year rotation. When asked why I wanted to work in banking, generally, and for that company, specifically, I said something about how all the banking scandals of the last 15 years had rocked consumer confidence in the industry and that I’d be proud to be working in a capacity that could help save the bank from ruining its reputation or running afoul of the law.

    Yeah.

    Don’t tell your interviewer that you’re there to save them from themselves. Just. Don’t.

  296. Heather*

    I was working for a bad boss. I really didn’t like her (well, a lot of us didn’t.) On the day of the phone interview, she was really bad. I got home and got ready for the phone interview mentalmy. In the interview, they asked “tell us about bosses in the pass”. They wanted me to go through old bosses and say what I liked / disliked. I got to my current boss and just started crying. I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t hold it in. All the emotions I held in came all out. It was so awkward trying to professionally say “I hate her” (well, I was more like “I don’t like [blank], I want a boss that would be [blank].) They also know I was crying, so awkward!

  297. bubba*

    I had an interview for my dream job. I was so prepared. I made sure I knew everything about the project and had even identified opportunities they hadn’t noticed. I got there and the first question the interviewer asked was “tell me about yourself”

    And I went blank. I could not speak. I just sat there and alternated between saying “um” and smiling for a good five minutes before my interviewer said “Okay, great. Do you have any questions for me?”

    Since I was so prepared, the question part went on for 45 minutes and I thought I’d pulled it off. But I didn’t. Also, because I was so prepared, I was able to list all the reasons I thought one of their proposed projects was overkill. Not the best idea for an interview. (But I did notice later that they did not go forward with their proposed project, so maybe I was right?) Still, no second interview, no job.

  298. Pumpkin215*

    I was out of college maybe 4 years (so still in my early 20’s) and was asked during an interview for an Auditing position: “How do you manage stress?”
    I told the interviewed that I liked to take bubble baths.
    He was a man.
    I told a male manager that I take bubble baths to relieve stress.
    I didn’t get the job.

  299. Iris West-Allen*

    I’ve had a few bad interviews in my time, but I’m still not entirely sure what happened with this one. I had applied for a job with a billing service, and my initial interview went very well (one of the few times I walked out of an interview with my head held high). Naturally, when they called me a few days later to come in again, I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, I don’t think I did enough research on second interviews, because when I went back, things fell apart. It was basically a replay of my first interview (different interviewers though) and no mention at all that I’d even interviewed with them a week prior. I was completely rattled by the latter, fumbled my answers fantastically, and did not get the job. To this day I wonder if maybe they called me by mistake, thinking they hadn’t already interviewed me, which sucks because if how great I did on that first interview.

  300. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

    It was just a phone interview (with the would-be hiring manager, not a recruiter, though, as I’d already passed the recruiter stage) – HM asked some questions about how would I respond to particular situations which I can’t get too specific about as I’ve told this story IRL but essentially, the situations HM was asking about were “red flags” about their process, organisational issues, systematic failures in management, etc.

    As far as I can tell HM was expecting responses about those situations about how I would handle them in the moment and mitigate the situation.

    I actually frame-challenged the question and pointed out that it seems to me that situation S is symptomatic of a particular problem which I’ve come across in the past and the way I’ve found most effective to deal with problem P would be… which would handle situation S and a bunch of other things. Basically turning it back on the HM with “you’re asking the wrong question and not thinking about the big picture”.

    I wasn’t mortified, exactly, but did come off the phone interview wondering if I’d answered the ‘right’ thing (which I know to be right in my own mind) based on the HM’s responses which seemed to be totally surprised and taken aback. I felt sure I’d blown it — I didn’t “really need” this job but was looking to move on from my old role (I had one other active interview process at the time).

    I felt bad for the HM thinking about it after, like he had been working within the constraints of some self imposed ideas the whole time (for years) and then this intervieweee challenges it with things he hadn’t thought about before. I was ok with having blown it as there were so many red flags.

    Then the recruiter got back to me with feedback…. the HM was blown away and wanted to get me in to a face to face interview! (Which I’m pretty sure I would have been offered the role)… I noped out, and felt mortified again for that guy.

  301. Prairie*

    In my early 20s I applied for a very cool volunteer position at the New England Aquarium. I aced the first interview. The second interview was with a committee and I had never interview with more than two people before. For some reason I FROZE. Every question they asked I answered with as little information as possible. I mostly only made eye contact with the senior person on the team. At one point she asked “Are you interested in a working in the environmental field?” and I said “I have a job and right now I’m focusing on succeeding in that role.”
    They were probably like “Did this woman get a brain injury on her way here?”
    It pains me to remember this experience.

  302. TemptheMagicDragon*

    Not exactly a job, but I had an informational interview for a very prestigious graduate department at a very prestigious school by a very prestigious scholar. He was literally only talking to me because he knew some of my more well-off family members and they had asked him to talk to me, so there’s some class cringe here as well.

    I still hadn’t completed my undergrad and while it was a rigorous education, it taught me next to nothing about what graduate academic departments actually do (like really being immersed in critical theory and applying it in advanced ways, doing very very very specific research, etc.). When this star scholar asked me why I was interested in their program and the type of work I wanted to do, I literally said something that boiled down to, “Well I really like “x” author and really want to study him more.” And just couldn’t really explain anything beyond that, outside of some historical observations of the author’s influence. Like you’re talking to Carl Sagan and you’re like “Well I just love astronomy, wasn’t Galileo revolutionary and important?” or something.

    I knew I was bombing it, knew I was sounding kind of ignorant, but I didn’t really understand fully until the next year, when I went into a different grad program and actually figured out what academia is like after undergrad. I was like, “…oooooooooohhhhhhhh…” Such a full cringe, in hindsight.

  303. ainnnymouse*

    I did it over the phone. First off the guy did not say where he was calling from or what business he represented. And I apply to a lot of different places at once. I answer the phone and the guy is like “Hi. This is Tim”. I don’t know a Tim but I’m trying to be pleasant. He got mad because I didn’t know who this was. Then he yells the name of the business at me. I lived at a place that got terrible cell reception. It was hard to hear what the guy was saying. My phone was breaking up. He was asking me to come in for an interview then got frustrated at my answers and immediately changed it to a phone interview and proceeded to yell at me.

    Or maybe the one where everything was a trick question. I applied to this smoothie shop. I went in for the interview and first it was an average interview asking about my schooling and work history. Then it was a test to make a smoothie. First I had to quickly peel an apple with a knife by hand and put it in the smoothie. Then he tells me to pick some other fruits in it. I pick pineapple and some others. I blend it and taste it. The things tastes sour. The guy laughs and says “I didn’t tell you the pineapple was not ripe”. I put a lot of honey and other stuff in it. It still tastes terrible. Then he tells me that he didn’t tell me that the other fruits were not ripe either. I though “You sell these to your customers?”. He said I could have this sour abomination of a smoothie. I sat there drinking it in the store before I left and knew I bombed the interview.

  304. Terrible Assignment*

    After a successful phone interview for a very hip/popular workplace, they sent a sample exercise to complete. After reading it, I knew they where looking for someone with very different skills and experience than I had. I had the impulse to respond right away saying that, but instead went through and did the assignment – terribly. I knew it was bad and sent it anyway, which I regretted immediately after hitting send. I am, however, very grateful for the exercise because it was a concrete example of a mis-mtatch that talking through job description and experience hadn’t highlighted.

  305. Elizabeth*

    I landed an interview for a process improvement role at a local healthcare nonprofit, thanks to a friend who worked as a physician there.

    When I arrived, the HR admin had me fill out a long, poorly photocopied form that asked for information already contained in both my online application AND my resume – and to top it off, the spaces on the form were too small to actually write the answers they were asking for. Talk about the need for process improvement! Oh, and I had to fill out the form while trying to tune out the HR lobby TV loudly playing an instruction video about how to handle medical waste (gross!).

    After I filled out the form, the interview with the head of HR was horrible. She was absolutely expressionless – stony faced, like a robot. No body language, eyebrow movement, or voice tone variation whatsoever as I answered her questions. Her lack of social “feedback” led me to think that she very much disliked me and wouldn’t have interviewed me if not for my friend’s referral “forcing” her hand. I became so unnerved that I found my hands were shaking and I began to seriously fumble my answers (despite being a pretty confident interviewee in normal circumstances), but I pressed on.

    At the end of the interview, I ask her how she liked working there. She gave the faintest possible smile and “gushed” on in the same robotic, monotonous voice about how she absolutely LOVES the organization. And it’s then that I realized that she didn’t actually hate me, she’s just a robotic person with a flat affect, and I was nervous for nothing.

    Didn’t get the job.

  306. Anon for this one*

    I was applying for jobs having just left education (I wasn’t sure whether or not to go on to University at that point) and based on a very limited amount of self-studying and personal projects (and education at school) thought for some reason that I could apply to a job in IT as a “website administrator” or something similar – this was in about 2001.

    So I submitted my CV (resume – but this is in the UK) containing my personal info, education, results of standard educational exams/tests and one week of what we know in the UK as “work experience” — which is where students of about 15-16 years old seek out a company in an area they are possibly interested in as a career, and apply to do a week of “work experience” at that company where they get to see how it is in a real work environment, maybe shadow some actual tasks, etc (Though often “work experience” ends up being making the tea and browsing the internet…) with the aim of getting some view of how things are in the real world and maybe some idea of whether one’s desired career path is anything like it was imagined (*).

    I called the recruiter about this ‘website’ role and she exclaimed, “but you don’t even have any work experience!” (Meaning any previous employment in an office or something like that) because really the role was for someone with proper employment experience with websites etc already.

    I argued with her that “I do, I did a week’s work experience at xyz company” (which wasn’t even related to the role!) and “evidently you didn’t even read my CV so I’m not going to pursue this any further, [bye felicia]”

    … probably my details were marked as “do not hire” at that agency.

    I was only retrospectively mortified about this, around a year later!!

    (*): my friend was adamant at the time that she wanted to pursue a particular career path which her parents didn’t think suitable at all and they believed it was just a fad and that she would be put off when she found out what it was actually like. Her father had a contact in that industry so he set her up with a week’s work experience with the contact, to show her what it was really like [and put her off].

    Well, that experience confirmed that she did want to work in that path and she loved everything about that week and definitely wanted to pursue it (to her parents’ chagrin I expect!) …. She’s getting on for 20 years in that industry and loving every minute. I guess work experience weeks aren’t always futile! ;-)

  307. zaracat*

    Many years ago, my BF had recently moved interstate on a 2-3 year military posting and I was looking to follow. I’d lined up a series of interviews for a 12 month position in his new location – all on the same day – to fill in the gap until I started my own military service, and he was driving me around to the interviews. It’s complicated to explain why having multiple interviews for different employers on the same day was pretty normal for the position involved, but think of it like the work equivalent of speed dating. He was a terrible, aggressive driver who tailgated and on the way to one interview he rear-ended the car in front, minor damage only but I was a bit of a mess mentally when I arrived, barely on time, for one of the interviews. However, I pulled myself together and tried to present myself as professionally as possible.

    Then, although I’d made it clear that I would not be applying for any follow-on work after the 12 month position was up because of my military service commitment, the interviewer got it into his head that I was flighty or not serious about the job because I was following a partner and demanded to know what guarantee he had that I wouldn’t just drop the job halfway through “to follow my boyfriend somewhere else”. I was kind of gobsmacked – at that point in my life/career (very junior and naive) I would never have even contemplated breaking a contract, not only because it seemed unethical but also because I’d be worried it would reflect badly on me in my subsequent military career, not to mention I felt that flying in for these interviews at my own expense had demonstrated a fair degree of commitment.

    I was nearly in tears by the end of that interview. Safe to say I didn’t get the job. I did end up with one of the other positions I interviewed for – it turned out to be one of the worst jobs I ever held, I was completely out of my depth and also expected to do lots of unpaid overtime, but I did learn a lot and at least it was only 12 months. 30 years more life/work experience has taught me that you can in fact decide to walk away from horrible interviews and horrible jobs (not to mention horrible partners – the driving turned out not to be the only issue LOL).

  308. AnotherLibrarian*

    First interview at Fish and Game Department in Alaska. I showed up in a full suit, stockings, makeup, hair done and heels. The next most formally dressed person in the room was wearing a plaid shirt and string tie. Looking around, I knew instantaneously that I was not getting the job. Opps.

  309. Not that Mary*

    I was one of those kids who graduated early from high school. I also looked extremely young, and this was back in the dark ages when you walked business to business and handed off a (very thin in my case) resume. All the store owners/managers probably thought I was 14 and lying about being 17, and I was very conscious of my lack of work experience and anxious about the whole process.
    So at one shop the manager asks if I am called Mary and I say yes (I am assuming she is clarifying if I am called Mary Beth or Mary). Then she starts asking where I live, about my parents, if I have kids, if my family is ok with me working, do I have a reliable car, what are my plans when I have kids, and more along those lines.
    It finally dawns on me that she asked about my marital status, not which name I go by. I was too embarrassed to admit I had misunderstood the original question and continued pretending to be married! I really was a naive young person (and no, I didn’t get the job).
    Back then employers routinely asked age and marital status of women, I’m glad things have changed (though maybe not enough for all women everywhere).

  310. SaffyTaffy*

    I took a skills assessment alone in a break room, and when I handed it back to the hiring manager, I joked “I resisted the temptation to look answers up on my phone, I promise.” She looked horrified, and cut the interview short.

    1. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

      Cue a prompt revision of the skills assesment protocol.
      You dodged a bullet with a un-self-aware manager it seems.

  311. Lizardbreath*

    Ah, so many. In chronological order:

    1) Senior year of college. I had no idea what I wanted to do but thought publishing sounded kind of cool. No internships or anything (this was back in the 90s when it wasn’t quite as necessary as it is now, but would have been advisable.) I signed up for an interview day with Random House and did a bare minimum of prep work. The interviewer, who was clearly just going through the motions, asked me which imprints I’d be interested in working with. I said Tor, sparking the first sign of actual interest from her. But then she asked for follow up and I couldn’t remember any actual books that they’d published. And then I said “And of course I’d really love to work for Vintage” and you could see her kind of sigh and settle back into her chair. Needless to say I never heard from them again.

    3) Six years later, I was applying to medical school and I had an interview at Harvard, which was my #1 choice. (Picture star-eyed emoji here). They had more applicants than interviewers so the applicants were hanging out in a big hall and going in for scheduled interviews. I had my agenda, which clearly stated my first interview was at 9AM, but somehow I had it in my head that it was 9:30. My interviewer had to come out and find me, resulting in complete panic and mortification at the error. He was super nice, but I never really recovered. I did not get into Harvard for medical school.

    4) Fast forward 7 more years and I was in my final year of medical residency. Someone in a higher-level administrative position gave us a talk on finding a job and offered to meet with any of us in person for individual advice. I decided to take him up on the offer and set up a meeting time. I was leaving for a rotation in Africa in six weeks and needed to get some job applications in before I left the country, which meant that I wanted to meet with him before that. Unfortunately, I was the senior resident in the ICU that month, which meant that I was working flat out 7AM-7PM on my non-call days (I was on call every 4th day, so it went Day 1, on call: 29 hour shift, Day 2 post call: finish up on-call shift at 11AM, then home to sleep. Day 3 and 4: 7AM-7PM. Repeat). I decided that the best time to do it would be when I was post call, because I got to leave the hospital at 11 AM and would have the afternoon off for a 2PM interview. It did not occur to me that possibly going to this meeting after 32 hours without sleep would have a detrimental effect on my conversational skills. Halfway through the talk, he sort of exasperatedly told me that I was really going to have to be more dynamic and involved in a real job interview. I felt awful for wasting his time.

  312. Really - I'm not an idiot*

    I have more than 1! The most memorable:

    1) law school on-campus interview with big NYC firm:

    Interviewer: what kind of law are you interested in practicing?
    Me: litigation
    Interviewer: you know we don’t have a litigation practice, right?
    Me (after uncomfortable silence): I don’t know why I’m even here.
    Interview ends.

    2) interview for a GC position in a private equity firm. After acing interviews with a bunch of folks, they hand me a laptop and a 50 page agreement and ask me to write up a summary of all the ERISA issues. I start a Word doc with my name – and nothing else. I sat there for 30 mins bc my mind was blank and I hadn’t done that type of work in several years. Then, I had an interview with the President who told me how excited he was about my candidacy and I then interviewed with him even though I knew I had no chance. Spoiler: I didn’t get the job. I cringe thinking about their faces when they opened the word doc.

  313. nora*

    I had an interview at a building with two sets of doors – your typical solid outside doors and then glass doors inside with immobile glass panels in between the interior doors. The building directory was posted on one of the panels. You can probably guess where this is going. In an attempt to read the directory, I walked smack into a glass panel and damn near broke my nose. Blood was trickling down the back of my throat the entire time I was there and it’s possible I had a concussion. I didn’t have any visible bruising so I (perhaps foolishly) decided not to see a doctor, but I was woozy the entire drive home (40 miles down a country highway). They were very polite but didn’t call me back.

  314. hey anony*

    Not quite an interview, but simultaneously baffling and mortifying: I once applied for a job at an organization I was somewhat familiar with due to an informational interview I’d done well before that job was posted. I was hopeful because the hiring manager was the person I’d spoken with. I got an email back from the hiring manager, very quickly, rejecting me and using some surprisingly strong and negative language about “for obvious reasons,” which made it sound like I had made some truly egregious error in the application — along the lines of accidentally sending a link to porn or something like that. I looked at the files I’d sent and they were fine; I sent the files to the career counselor I was working with, who also couldn’t find anything wrong. I couldn’t exactly email back asking what specifically they were referring to, because then I’d look obtuse since apparently the mistake was both egregious AND obvious (but I guess I couldn’t have burned the bridge any harder by looking obtuse into the bargain?) I never re-encountered the hiring manager, who has since passed away — guess I’ll never know what that was about.

  315. Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers*

    When I was looking for my first full time job I had some terrible interviews. I had no idea what I was doing.

    The most memorable was for an entry level IT job.
    Q: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
    A: “Well I actually want to be an architect so I’m planning to go back to university.”

    The interviewer was visibly irritated and the interview ended soon after. I got a call from the irate recruiter the next day. I was genuinely confused because I thought you were supposed to answer questions honestly.

  316. Keyboard Jockey*

    I interviewed for a supervisor position at my current gig that I knew was a stretch. The day before the interview, I’d gotten stranded in the mountains during a blizzard on the way back from a ski trip. When I got home the morning of, I realized that my cat, who had been slowly declining, had reached the last few days of his life (we had to put him down two days later). I couldn’t stop crying, I was stressed out from the previous day, and I was totally not in any sort of mindset to interview. I reached out to see if we could reschedule, but this was a Friday and they wanted to make a decision the following week, so I decided to push through rather than withdraw.

    I fumbled almost every question, (“why would you make a good supervisor?” I answered with, “I’m not sure I would but I would sure love to try!”) but the one that still makes me cringe was along the lines of, “what are your thoughts about diversity?” And I answered, “How long do we have? I could talk about this all day,” and then proceeded to completely blank on any of the thoughts I actually have about the subject.

    I still work with these people, all of whom have been gracious enough to never speak of this interview again.

  317. Moth*

    Not technically a job, but in graduate school we had to do rotations in a few different labs before picking one that we would do our dissertation work in. They were essentially like 10-week long internships in the labs. To line up the rotations, you had to do an interview with the professor in charge of the lab, which were essentially like job interviews, where they would evaluate if you had the knowledge/fit to work for them. My first rotation in school was not going great; it was a topic that I was turning out not to love and it was just not a good fit with the other people in the lab (e.g., when I was interviewing for that one, the professor asked about work I’d done overseas with another scientist in the field. I talked excitedly about that scientist and the work I had done and the professor says, “Oh yes, Wakeen. He’s very… enthusiastic.” with as much disdain as you can put into a single word.).

    So I go to an interview for the second rotation, set up with a professor who seemed to be very friendly and supportive while teaching a class. Right off the bat, he’s super confrontational about every question he asks, just like the stereotype of an arrogant professor. He starts pressing me about what I’m doing in my current rotation and my mind is going blank as he gets more and more confrontational. Finally he asks me, “Do you even know what you’re doing right now?!” and I start crying. Not as in my eyes start to water, but as in full on uncontrollable bawling, to the point that I can’t even answer his frantic questions now about if I’m okay. My mortification only makes the crying worse. I finally just say that I should probably go now and make a hasty retreat out of his office. He did send me an email later, apologizing if he had said anything that had made me upset. But needless to say, he did not offer me a position in his lab.

  318. MsPantaloons*

    I’m so late but have been so enjoying these stories! Here’s one from last year.

    I was starting to apply/interview while my company was undergoing an acquisition, and I had a lot of time-sensitive FedEx-ing of paperwork to do. I had to get a stack out the same morning as a phone screen for a dream job at a dream company — I left plenty of time (I thought) but the FedEx process took way longer than expected, so I had to take the phone interview in my car parked on the street outside the shop.

    About 15 minutes into my 30 minute call, a city parking cop starts signaling me through the window. I realize that I’m probably sitting in a loading zone (this being outside a FedEx) and signal back like, “I’m going, sorry”, then pull away into the adjacent neighborhood while continuing the interview, without dropping a beat. I re-park, feeling pretttty smooth.

    2 minutes later the parking cop appears banging on my window looking FURIOUS. I went beet red, and had to interrupt my interviewer to say, “I’m sorry, can I call you back in a few minutes? I’m not sure what’s happening but, um, sorry, I’ll call you right back.”

    It turns out the registration on the car (which I had borrowed) was expired and that was what she was signaling me about in the first place. She gave me a ticket and a nice lecture about not fleeing the police LOL.

    I explained that I was in the middle of a job interview and apologized profusely. She asked if I got the job at least — I said it didn’t seem very likely :(

    I had to call the interviewer back to awkwardly wrap up the interview and try to explain what had happened without sounding like a complete idiot. I actually got to the next round but did NOT get the job.

    1. Chaordic One*

      In a similarly embarrassing situation I once interviewed for a position where I might, on ocassion, have been required to drive a company car. The interview didn’t go all that well. I was very young and green at the time and probably wouldn’t have gotten the job anyway. The thing that absolutely killed my chances was that, during the panel interview, one of the interviewers asked to see my driver’s license, which I produced and which, to my horror, had expired 3 months earlier. I didn’t get the job.

  319. Red Fraggle*

    One time a staffing agency recruited me for a position located an absurd distance from my home. They emphasized flex start times, though, so I agreed to interview. Everything was going well, until the panel casually mentioned that this particular position was arrive at 7:30am, butts-in-seats at 8:00am, no flex, strict policy. Suddenly, half my brain was on the interview and half was trying to figure out if getting to this job was even possible. (Answer: Even if I left at 4:30am, a poorly-placed accident would *still* make me late on occasion, so no. The traffic in this area is legendary.)

    While I was figuring that out, the panel asked the Most Dreaded Question: “What are your weaknesses?” And I was so flustered that I didn’t give my usual answer, or gracefully excuse myself from the interview based on the commute. No, instead I blurted out “I’m not punctual.” Not true, not the actual problem, but boy howdy I couldn’t explain that one away. MORTIFYING.

    And afterward? The staffing agency rep called to scold me like a child. SUPER FUN. (Mid-rant I realized that she had no idea where I actually lived AND thought that a $25,000 job was worth 6 hours in traffic every day, so I told her to take me off the agency’s list and never call again.)

  320. YRH*

    I once had a phone interviewer forget to call me. We rescheduled. She called 10 minutes early right as I was in the middle of my pre interview bathroom run.

    And I had a meltdown with the recruiter when the Peace Corps rejected me right before I graduated from college.

  321. Anon for this one*

    Alison, can you do a post in the future with the corollary/other side to this: worst interviewers/interview questions you (commenters) have encountered?

  322. Ktelzbeth*

    At one of my medical residency interviews, all the day’s interviewees had a group meeting with the program director in a room with comfy chairs and dim lighting. I’m certain I fell briefly asleep. I was internally mortified when I woke up, but tried to carry on as if nothing had happened. I mentally wrote that program off for falling asleep on the program director. Guess where I ended up going? Yup. He either didn’t notice or wasn’t upset.

  323. Peep*

    My worst interview was in college. I was in desperate need of some money, so I was applying everywhere I could. I applied to this mail room for some small business on campus, and I got an interview. I swear I thought I knew exactly where the place was. I had the address on a piece of paper, and I knew the town fairly well as I’d lived there for about 3 years at this point. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I still don’t know if I got the street names mixed up in my mind, or it was one of those weird streets that defy logic, but the building wasn’t where I thought it would be. I could not find that address for the life of me. This was before smartphones(or cell phones in general), so all I had was an address on a piece of paper. I was on foot, so I was slow, though I was nearly running in desperation around town. To make matters worse, it was *extremely* windy that day, and I have fairly long, very fine hair. It was warm despite the wind, and I was wearing a nice sweater and long, warm pants for the interview.

    I wandered around town for over an hour, going into random coffee shops, restaurants, and stores asking for directions to the interview address. I finally showed up to the place 45 minutes late. I was drenched in sweat, beet red, short of breath, and I had a rats nest on top of my had that defied any attempts at control. I approached the reception desk, wheezed out who I was and why I was late, and handed them my crumpled, wind battered resume. I then proceeded to totally bomb the 5 minute interview since I was so flustered from the entire package of things I knew I did wrong. They told me they’d let me know their decision at the end of Friday(3 days away).

    By the time I got home, the rejection message was already on my answering machine.

  324. Van Wilder*

    I asked a Partner about a negative item I saw about her firm in the press, and how they were changing their procedures as a result of the SEC findings. Don’t do that!
    She got cold and defensive and I knew I’d blown it. I took my cheap suit and weather-inappropriate shoes back into the snow and cried on the train ride home.
    A decade later, I’m a Senior Manager at a competitor and that firm has a reputation for being cutthroat and not very nice, so I like to think it worked out for the best. But man, it hurt at the time.

  325. NaN*

    In response to a behavioral question, “Tell me about a time you had to tell someone ‘no’,” I told the story of a fellow student who was my lab partner in one class and kept asking me for more and more help in other classes. I eventually had to push back and set boundaries, which was difficult and relevant to the question. Then the interviewer asked how it turned out in the end. “He sent me an email confession of his undying love for me at the end of the semester, and I started avoiding him like the plague.” It was a true answer, but probably not a good answer to an interview question.

  326. Library Guy*

    I was interviewing for my first Director position, and the committee asked, “What situations make you uncomfortable?”

    I didn’t even blink. “Well, this one …”

    I was sure that the sound of laughter wasn’t friendly. But I got the job!

  327. NJOutWest*

    While working on my post-grad accounting certificate, I was looking for accounting internships. I lucked out getting two phone interviews within less than a couple weeks. The first one ghosted me and I never heard back. The second one asked me to go in for an in-person interview. I was thrilled. This internship called for working under a CPA and I would be getting my first hand experience in real-world accounting.

    On the day of my interview, I drove using a GPS. I was under the impression that it would be at least in a small office. Nope. I was wrong. As I drew closer to my destination, I drove through a residential area. I felt that something was completely off. I assumed that I would be in a corporate environment but it was nothing but houses on a residential street with no offices in sight. I told myself that the office is probably well hidden. Nope, I was wrong again. When my GPS indicated I arrived, I was in front of someone’s house! My heart started to sink and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had been duped. But I naively went to the front door and rung the doorbell. A middle aged guy, formally dressed, invited me in. He had a small “office” in his house. He invited me to sit down and explained that I would be helping him during busy season with various accounting work. The interview lasted for a grand total of 5 minutes. Either way, something felt very odd. Why would I be at someone’s house? I felt very stupid.

    When the interview was over, I drove out, went straight home, and told my mother what happened. We both agreed that the interview was not legitimate. I never looked back, and luckily I didn’t hear back from the “accountant” after that. Lesson learned.

    1. ENTPrme*

      My CPA works out of his house in a very suburban neighborhood. Handles taxes for many local businesses and individuals.

  328. AnonEmu*

    I have celiac. I had been offered a job, but because it involved a very long-distance move, I wanted to visit the place in person before I 100% decided. While out at lunch on said move, I got glutened badly by supposedly gluten-free food (I had asked all the usual questions and eaten something that is usually safe). And it was bad – like, spending a very long time in the bathroom bad. Someone actually asked through the door if I needed to go to the ER. I reassured them that wasn’t needed, but I was sure I had tanked my chances and they were reconsidering the offer. Nope! They were really nice about it, and I have now been in that job almost a year! And my coworkers are nice about the whole celiac thing.

    1. Red Fraggle*

      I’m sorry you got so badly glutened, but hearing stories of folks being supportive and understanding about celiac always warms my soul.

  329. JessB*

    I was going for my first ever job interview, I was in high school (about 17 years old, I think), and it was for a part-tome position at a book shop. I loved reading and visited another branch of the store frequently- I should have had this in the bag!
    I sat down with the interviewer, and after introductions and ‘how are you?’, they asked me a simple question to put me at ease- ‘what do you like to read?’ Friends, I could not think of a single book. I could not think of anything at all to say!!!
    It was awful. I stared at her for a second, and then said exactly what was going through my mind… ‘I can’t think of anything, but I do love to read!’
    She was so nice and was quite happy to move on, but I suddenly remembered the book in my bag, and blurred out the details.
    I got that job, and loved it! I worked for the company for years.

    3. Onerous Amorphous*

      Oh man. This is a question that comes up a lot in library interviews and I always struggle so badly with it! I hate feeling put on the spot about what I’m reading. Inevitably when I get asked, my most recent read is either really niche nonfiction about a touchy topic, or a smutty romance novel, or something else I wouldn’t want to discuss with a stranger that I’m trying to convince to hire me.

  330. Red Fraggle*

    Oh, and another time I made it to the third round of interviews, only for the panel of C-level executives to act like I wasn’t even in the room. They just kept talking to each other. I thought it was a test, so I kept trying to politely butt in with “I can do this job because…” It was incredibly awkward. I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong, but I still felt like it was my fault somehow.

    (I found out later that the C’s had picked out a candidate before the hiring process had even started. The hiring manager was very annoyed at having her time wasted like that and told me I’d dodged a bullet.)

  331. MissDisplaced*

    I just did a pre-screen video interview and for some reason it submitted without audio.
    They kindly did give me a chance to re-record it, which I did. After submitting it, I received an email requesting a phone call, but then I just got a rejection today.

  332. Jackalope*

    It was my first ever phone interview (and probably only my second or third interview ever), back when I was in college, and I knew it was a real interview in my mind but somehow a phone call didn’t *feel* as official to me. The position was as a camp counselor working with teens training to go on missions trips or something like that, so intercultural experience was a definite plus. I had lived abroad in high school and the interviewer asked me what my favorite thing about [country] was. I blurted out that I’d loved the food. I could tell by the interviewer’s response that this was the Wrong Answer. (I’m guessing they wanted something along the lines of the wonderful relationships I’d made.) The rest of the interview was okay but I had already blown it and was off my game. Every single phone interview I’ve had since then I always reminded myself that even if it’s by phone it’s still a real interview by telling myself beforehand, “Don’t tell them it’s the food!”

    (For what it’s worth, Other Country has what I still consider the best food in the world. So there’s that. And what with buying plane fare to the job site I might not have had much net gain for this particular job so financially it prob worked out but I’m still a bit bummed I didn’t get it.)

  333. Chaordic One*

    This is sort of a bit off-topic and kind of related to when Alison wrote about why people didn’t leave bad interviews more often. I either heard about it on the radio or read it in a story told by an interviewer about interviewing a job applicant on a rainy day. For some reason I have the idea that the position was at a bookstore, but that might be completely wrong. The interview was proceeding in a manner that was decidedly “meh,” nothing special, but with no red flags either.

    Unbeknownst to everyone involved, the roof of the building had developed a leak and at a certain point in the interview, the ceiling tile above the applicant buckled and bent, acting like a spout and suddenly poured water on the hapless applicant. The interviewer was both apologetic, but also a bit amused by the situation. He offered her paper towels to help her dry off, but she stood up and in a most dignified manner, said she didn’t think the position was right for her and walked out.

  334. Oh Arrrghh*

    Oh NOOOO. This brings back baaaaad memories. :-)

    Interviewed to head up a nonprofit, and members of the board were at the interview. Bad thing #1: I wore an antique coral brooch, only to realize one of the board members was head of the Coral Conservancy or something like that. Bad thing #2: He was also besties with a prior employer at a job that did NOT end well. I don’t think either of those were reasons I didn’t get the job (I didn’t have budgeting experience, and that turned out to be a big deal), but it was sooo uncomfortable.

  335. NewReadingGlasses*

    In an interview for a LAB SAFETY position, I made some kid of expansive gesture while talking, and knocked over 2 separate cups of coffee and fell over a chair. Chaos ensued. I was not hired.

  336. Farrah Sahara*

    What a great list of shared stories today! I can feel the second hand embarrassment and commiserate, as I think we all have 1 or more interview situations we’d rather forget.

    Here are 2 from early 1990’s, when I had just graduated and was looking for a job, so had signed up with a few temp agencies.

    1) I woke up one morning, feeling really ill and took Neo Citran to help my symptoms. It wasn’t working, so my dad made me a special “hot toddy”, with very strong Irish whiskey. This will knock you out and then you can spend the day sleeping, he said. Sure enough, it worked and I was sleeping soundly for 2 hours, when the phone rang. It was an agency asking me to go for an interview that afternoon. I explained I was feeling too ill and asked to postpone until the next day. She refused and said, “No, you need to go today! They want to fill this by Friday.” So, I got myself ready and even though I was really groggy and tired, made the 90 minute bus ride, trudging up the employer’s street, through the heavy snow that had fallen 2 days earlier. I arrived and had to repeatedly pause and think about my answers during the interview, trying very hard to not fall asleep. I knew it was going badly, but I was too ill to care. I went home afterwards and got a call the next morning. The recruiter told me they liked my resume, but thought I “seemed really spaced out” and would not be moving me forward.

    2) I got a call from a different agency for an interview and was told that if they liked me, they wanted me to start the same day, so be prepared to potentially be working all day today. Ok, got myself ready, dressed up nicely and still living with my parents, my dad graciously offered to drive me to the interview. As I was getting into his car, I ducked my head too quickly and caught my upper eyelid skin on the corner of the car door. My eyelid was cut and blood started dripping down. My dad panicked and said, “Call them to cancel! You’re injured.” No, no, I’m fine and I held a large wad of Kleenex against my face while he drove me to the interview. During the car ride, the blood seemed to stop and I went inside as confidently as I could, ready for my interview. The interviewer, Darryl, was a very nice man and we were getting along well. Suddenly, his head tilted and he was looking at me intensely, almost staring. I was a little freaked out, but thought, ok, he’s really paying attention to what I’m saying, so kept talking. Slowly, I felt something trickling down my face. The eyelid cut had opened up and blood was now dripping down my left cheek. I reached up to stop anything dripping onto my freshly ironed white blouse and Darryl immediately grabbed a handful of paper towels that were behind his desk. I blotted them against my face and explained that I’d had a little “mishap” earlier that morning. He was sympathetic and said he was impressed with my ability to carry on, even though blood was dripping down my face! He made a little joke and said, “So, do you want to start here today?” and that was the start of a 3 month contract. It all ended well., but boy, what a way to go through an interview!

  337. hugseverycat*

    I have a few bad interview stories!

    One was for a retail catalog call center job. This was in my youth when I fairly regularly smoked weed, and I knew from some friends that this place drug tests you during the interview. So prior to the interview I went to the local head shop and bought a bottle of this truly vile stuff that if you drank it all, you would pass the drug test. You’re supposed to drink it like an hour or so before the actual test. So I drank it. And then drove to the interview, and I have never had to pee so bad in my LIFE. I actually stopped on the way to the interview to pee at a gas station. And by the time I was actually being interviewed, I had to pee AGAIN. I basically begged the interviewer to skip to the drug test part of the interview because I couldn’t hold it anymore.

    I passed the drug test and got that job.

    Another was for a retail computer store (think Best Buy). As part of the interview process they had you do this phenomenally long personality test on the computer. Among the questions were stuff like, have you ever thought about stealing from your employer. And I was like, “well sure, but I’d never DO that”. But the answer I gave was “yes” because I am not clever. I did not get that job!

    Finally, and this is probably the worst as I was much older — I was interviewing for an internal position at my current company. The gossip around the office was that the team I would be joining was kind of lazy and mostly sat around waiting for their clients to contact them, which happened seldom. So I kind of jokingly mentioned this reputation as a preamble to a “tell me what a typical day in this position is like” question. As I was saying the words, I was thinking “OH NO I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE” but it was too late. I was chewed out in the interview, and then subsequently chewed out again by the manager who was giving me “feedback” afterwards.

    I did not get that job. Obviously. But I am still with that company and ultimately I’m really glad I didn’t, as that manager really isn’t worth much, and the people on that team now do a LOT of travel (at least 50%) which I know I would absolutely hate.

  338. It's all for the best*

    I was working for a really terrible boss who didn’t want to hire the two managers (I was one of them) that he was forced to hire, so he dealt with it by refusing to speak to us. He would have been happy if I spent my days surfing the internet but I’m just not wired that way, so I kept trying to engage him and get him to give me work. After about six months of this I was interviewing for a promotion in a different department and the interviewer asked me “If I called [crappy boss] and asked him to tell me three things about you, what would he say?” Instead of thinking about my previous boss who I had a great working relationship with, I spit out two generic positives and then just…blanked. I started to panic, knowing that my interviewer was waiting for a third item. So I finally told what I’m pretty sure was the truth: “He’d say I was a pain in the ass!” Needless to say, the interviewer didn’t know how to respond to that. And I didn’t get the job. I’m still sure that crappy boss would totally have said I was a pain in the ass though!

  339. sacados*

    Ooh! I’m maybe a bit late to the party, but I had one informational interview years ago that was INCREDIBLY awkward.
    I was studying in Japan at the time and hoping to stay on to work for a few years so I began job hunting as my program wrapped up. I was interested in publishing at the time, so my former boss at my student job (the University Press at my college back in the US) hooked me up with a contact of hers at an agency in Tokyo that reps English-language books for release in the Japanese market. The contact (I’ll call her Emi) was relatively junior, so she thought it would be good for me to talk to her Boss as well.
    So, on to the interview itself–
    Boss is… to be fair, I don’t think she was trying to be mean, I think she’s just one of those dry, ironic personality types in the way that I could actually get along well with in a boss but is absolute MURDER on your nerves in an interview. I mean, I was nervous enough having to do this whole interview process in Japanese, so it didn’t help to have Boss saying things like “It might be better for you to work in America,” and “Japan still has lots of gender discrimination, not like America. You might not like it. If you try and work here, you might end up hating Japan. Then what will you do?”
    To which I’m like, well, I don’t expect that will happen but if it does I suppose I’d just … leave… at that point??

    Some more samples of conversation:
    Me: So, what do you like most about your job?
    Boss: I don’t particularly like my job.
    Me: ….oh.
    Emi: Really? You don’t?
    Boss: No.
    Emi: But, you get to read books and that sort of thing, isn’t that fun?
    Boss: Not really.
    Me: …………

    Just totally and completely shutting down the conversation and any potential followup. It was AWKWARD.

    1. PolicyWonk*

      Not the same, but when I was a sophomore in college, I took my first big lecture English lit class with intention of becoming an English major. There was a senior in the class so I asked her which English classes she enjoyed she said “oh, not really any of them” and I was crushed. Was it possible the whole English Department was a dud? I sat behind her all semester while an AMAZING professor taught a FASCINATING class and she spent the whole time… shopping for clothes…for her dog. She brought the dog in a bag on the last day of class, and I learned that just because someone is a senior doesn’t mean they have helpful perspectives.

  340. Elizabeth West*

    Recently, I interviewed for a job I really wanted. It was entry-level but in a new field, in an area I wanted to learn more about, and I was way too enthusiastic about it. Like, puppy-dog enthusiastic. They had doubts because technically I was overqualified, which I should have addressed but apparently failed to do so adequately. I did not get it. The HR person invited me to apply again to something else in future, but I feel like they would just hate me and I don’t want to now.

    1. Tea and Sympathy*

      There is no reason for them to hate you. I don’t even know you, and I like you – you’re one of my favorite commenters. There is also no benefit to them to invite you to apply again if they don’t mean it. Job searching is depressing. Don’t let it mess with your head. And good luck!

  341. Dave from the Bronx*

    It was for a construction supply company and they asked – “What are your weaknesses?” and my answer was “I have none.” *facepalm*

    Good times.

  342. Cedrus Libani*

    I have stories from both sides – one where I was the butt of the joke, and one where the interviewer was. These stories are both from my first job search, right as I was finishing college, which…explains some things. At 22 years old, I didn’t realize that the whole point was to identify a fit, and therefore sometimes it’s a good idea to push back, so that at the very least you can go home early.

    Mostly my fault: I’d decided to take a cab to the interview, which was on the other side of the city. I’d never been there, and did not want to risk a public transportation snafu. Cabbie gets hopelessly lost. Instead of 30 minutes early, I’m 15 minutes late. This was before smart phones, and I’d forgotten my printout with my contact’s phone number on it, so I had no way to let them know where I was.

    I apologized profusely to the first person on my schedule, and we had a normal interview. Next up was the big boss. He’s apparently been informed of the situation. He spends the entire half-hour slot asking pointed behavioral questions about professionalism, responsibility, etc. Then he hands me off to the next person on the schedule, who was supposed to give me a tour of the facility. “That won’t be necessary. Please escort her out.”

    That was a long bus ride home. On the plus side, I didn’t end up working for that guy, so…I win?

    Mostly NOT my fault: While in school, I’d been a beta tester for an automated llama grooming device. The thing was very fast, very twitchy, and I was a genuine expert in making the thing go. A bunch of these things had just been sold to a dog grooming company. The professor who’d hired me for the testing was a technical advisor at that company; he put in a word for me, and I got an interview there.

    When I arrived, I found that I was being interviewed for a dog walking position. One, that’s a minimum wage job. Two, I’d never actually walked a dog before. Three, I have a minor but visible disability. I’m strong enough to wrangle the llamas into their grooming stations, but I walk with a limp. Out of respect for the professor who’d gotten me the interview, I carried on, doing my best to highlight my dog skills and my walking skills…to the limited extent that I had those skills.

    The walkers were not happy about having to interview the least qualified person in the zip code. They were mostly polite about it, but it was obvious. The part that made it memorably weird: several of the groomers had also put themselves onto my schedule, so I could teach them how to fix their stuff. I was bouncing back and forth between the two groups. One moment I’m a world-class expert, the next I’m a doofus.

    I eventually got the story. HR had gone to the hiring manager, telling him that there was an unqualified applicant with connections. As I only had a high school education, his dog walking job was the only one that I could be interviewed for. Could you please give her a courtesy interview to make this go away? So he did. He didn’t bother to read my resume. He was apparently quite startled to realize that the “useless kid who could barely walk” was also the “she handed me her blazer, crawled under the machine, and realigned the poodle adapter” that the groomers were talking about. And no, HR wouldn’t let them hire me elsewhere; I wasn’t a certified dog groomer, so I wasn’t qualified to work in that department.

  343. Dress Like A "Lady"*

    A few years ago I was fresh out of college and I always wore pantihose/tights, skirts, and a nice shirt. I was told by my mother, who’s admittedly old fashioned, that I had to do this to get a job. But I wasn’t very practiced tights so I didn’t know about things like runs. I some how caught the back of my knee on something and ended up with a hole in them and a run from my knee to hip. I spent the whole time trying not to put my back to the interviewers. I LOVE wearing dresses and skirts though, so I just make sure I have a spare pair of tights for interviews now

    2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

      I went to one interview which was oddly early in the morning (like an hour before most similar workplaces open) presumably so they could fit it in around their normal working day. It was supremely dark when I got dressed, so it wasn’t until I was in the interview that I realised my “black” tights were definitively not black, unlike my suit. It was so glaring that I couldn’t think about anything else, but kept desperately glancing at my very definitely blue tights.

      I can’t imagine the interviewers cared in the slightest, but it threw me off completely. Having spare tights easily available (or underwear, or hair clips, or flat shoes, or sanitary wear) is more about your comfort and ease than your look, I think.

  344. PolicyWonk*

    I got my current position through a program that names finalists but then you have to use that finalist boost to find your own government position, so I went to DC for a few days and lined up as many “informational” interviews as I could squeeze in. I put it in quotes because they were mostly “hopefully you will find a position for me” interviews. There were too many. I was exhausted and just couldn’t prepare for that many subjects. I got to one office whose whole role is to manage the US relationship with country X. The interviewer asked me “ so why are you interested in working on country X?” The ONLY thing I could think of was “that’s where my best friend is from.” I am pretty sure I avoided saying that but also am pretty sure I didn’t say anything more useful or convincing. It was a short interview. Luckily, a different office had recruited me earlier that day and I actually had the relevant experience for that one

  345. Ra94*

    My worst interview was over the phone. I’d just finished law school, and the position was in an adjacent field but not a law firm. (Think legal research in the specific niche of llama herding. I’d studied a little bit of llama history, but never the specific subject). I had been totally up-front about my knowledge in my cover letter, and they invited me for a phone interview.

    The interviewer set the stage by announcing, “Now, this is going to be an extremely difficult interview”, and then proceeded to ask the most in-depth research questions, none of which I could answer.
    “What effect would you say the Llama Herding Conference of 1976 had on the industry?”
    “I’m not familiar with it, sorry! I could talk about my legal research skills th-”
    “Mm. So what were the advantages of Llama Tariff 24.5(b)?”

    He didn’t ask me a single question about myself, my skills, or my work experience, and kept the interview going for ages, clearly enjoying that I couldn’t answer a question. And it was an entry-level position that paid barely above minimum wage! I wonder if they ever filled the position…

  346. CollegeSupervisor*

    Not exactly mortifying, but I was once invited to an after-school tutoring program for what I thought was a job interview only to spend two hours shadowing/assisting with the actual tutoring before being told there weren’t any job openings available when the supervisor finally sat down to talk with me.

  347. Corporate Goth*

    Weird formal panel, where panel members could only ask preapproved questions, no interaction, no follow up (yes, it’s terrible). Interviewed on cold meds, the heavy duty behind the counter kind. Legit thought I was over the worst of it and just didn’t want to sound sick, but became ragingly ill the day after.

    I don’t remember the questions I was asked or the majority of the interview. I barely remember being unable to stop myself from casually leaning back and flipping a pen around in my hands, and making a throwaway comment that got me the job.

    As I walked out, leaving the panel in the room, the admin asked how it went. Being friendly with her, I made a face, thinking I’d bombed. One of the panel members walked out just in time to see me sticking my tongue out. I literally ran away. I also got the panel lead sick.

    I still can’t believe they hired me. Apparently I was the only person to get all sides of the “here’s-what-I’m-good-at / here’s-how-I-see-your-situation / here’s-how-I-can-help-you” triangle.

  348. barnacles have the longest proportional you-know-what in the animal kingdom*

    Many years back I interviewed for a position at a science museum. In the interview I was given a box of tricks (legos, pom poms, etc) and asked to come up with a brief demo that explained a scientific concept. I had come up with some ideas beforehand but couldn’t figure out how to do them with the items available so I PANICKED.

    My demo ended up being something about the barnacle life cycle (good) and prominently featured barnacle reproduction (uh ok?). I had a pipe cleaner or small foam noodle as a stand-in for a barnacle penis. (oh no) A few seconds in, I thought to point out that this would *not* be a kid demo, it would be better at the monthly adults-only events. This admission released all the tension they had been holding and the room erupted in relieved laughter.

    My husband thinks it was a memorable demo and was fine but I was not surprised to not get the job. However, I did volunteer there a few years later and actually got awards for my performance and contributions. I hope it was a redemption arc of sorts and will override any scandalized notes in my file.

  349. OtherLiz*

    Two come to mind. I got called for an interview for a very competitive library system two years after applying. I was thrilled, and spent a ton of time prepping. The person who set up the interview said I would be interviewing with two people, so I was surprised when I got there and there was only one guy waiting. It turns out that the other guy was sick, and this system had a strict policy of only interviewing with two people. Because of that, the interviewer called the other person, and the interview took place partially on the phone. That would’ve been bad enough, but he didn’t have a speakerphone, so he asked the question into the receiver, passed me the phone, I answered it and passed it back…it was truly horrid. He clearly resented the hell out of the whole thing. He never said hello, shook my hand, or made eye contact. I was not offered that job, and thank goodness.
    The other memorable one was a time just out of college that I was called to interview for a job the next day. I got stuck in a rainstorm and showed up absolutely soaked with my makeup running everywhere, with no time to do anything about it. I was so flustered that when they asked me what I knew about the company, I blurted out, “I don’t know, you tell me.” In my defense, I was sitting in a puddle of water. Got the job though!

  350. Rebecca*

    Campus visit for a tenure-track academic job. In the final interview with the search committee. I’m in the middle of answering a question about teaching when I feel a strange twinge in my eye. I blink. I blink again. Suddenly, what feels like a fiery bolt rips its way across the surface of my eye. My vision blurs; my eye starts watering uncontrollably (tears streaming visibly down my cheek). And then I realize: my contact lens had just torn in half in my eye.

    All I could come up with was, “I’m definitely passionate about pedagogy, but I do want to clarify that I’m not crying because I care so much about this issue—I’m having an issue with my contact lens. Could you excuse me briefly?” Then I went to the bathroom, fished both halves of the lens out, and completed my interview while unable to see any of the interviewers’ faces clearly.

    I had a few minutes after that interview round ended—just enough time to run to the car and grab my glasses from my bag before my research talk…

    And, thankfully, I got the job!

  351. Diamond*

    They asked what my understanding of one of their programs was, which had the word ‘indigent’ in the title. I had never heard that word before and assumed they meant ‘indigenous’. I went on about how this program provides for Indigenous people…

  352. Gazebo Slayer*

    When I was 23 and unemployed, I saw a posting for a dishwasher position at a fancy restaurant. It was outside the small New England town where I lived, I had no car, and there was extremely limited public transportation in that direction. However, I looked up directions online, and the mapping site I used said it was 1.7 miles from my address… so off I went on foot.

    Apparently online directions were a lot less reliable in those days–or my eyes were–because it was actually 7.1 miles. All along a winding country road, with no sidewalk and the occasional angry aggressive driver who evidently hated pedestrians. (There were letters to the editor of the local paper both from and about a guy who lived in that town and liked to intimidate bicyclists off the road. I guess anyone not in a car was not welcome.)

    While I was walking, a thunderstorm broke overhead. The thunder was so loud and so close to the lightning that I was expecting to be struck any minute. I ended up trudging down the road toward the fancy but remote restaurant, torrential rain drenching me, shoes squelching in the mud, sobbing with terror.

    I arrived three hours after I’d left home, looking as if I’d been thrown in a cold lake.

    The restaurant staff were kind and polite and let me fill out an application, probably out of pity. It was obvious that even if they’d hired me, I’d never have been able to make it to work reliably.

    I called a cab company for a ride home and was lucky to get one out in the boonies. Thirty dollars fare – but no way in hell was I walking back another three hours in a storm at night.

    Obviously the dumb decision was my choice to actually go there in the first place.

  353. Other Duties as Assigned*

    Here are two:

    1) I was just out of college and saw a posting for a logistics manager at a regional department store chain’s corporate headquarters. It was my field, so I sent in a resume and cover letter and got an invite to an in-person interview. Since it was only about 30 miles from where I was living, I drove there. It was a super hot day (95F+) and I had an un-air conditioned wreck of a beater car, with black paint/roof/interior no less. I put on my one interview suit and perspired my way up the highway.

    I got there in plenty of time. I didn’t want them to see me getting out of my old car, so I parked at the furthest spot from the door. Their HQ was sort of a bunker, with a lot of the office space below ground level; you walked down about ten steps from the level of the parking lot to the main entrance. The hiring manager came to reception to get me and walked me to his office. It was at the end of the corridor, so when I sat facing him, I could look up over his shoulder to see the underside of the front bumper of my car. Still, I was sure he hadn’t seen me arrive.

    While we’re talking, I notice some movement outside out of the corner of my eye. While parked, my car radiator had sprung a leak and was shooting steaming coolant through the grille. This was distracting. While I tried to stay focused on the interview, all I could think was, ‘where can I get a bucket and some water so I can limp home?’

    I tried to put this auto problem out of my mind for the next part of the interview with the marketing manager who’d be my direct supervisor. I started to ask him about the nature of the position, what he wanted to see in this role, etc. He was having none of this. His first question to me was: “Are you single?” I said yes and he got really excited: “Man, you’re going to LOVE working here. This place is full of single women and do THEY have a grapevine! By lunchtime of your first day here, every single women in the place will know there’s a new single guy here!” He went on: “…and this city is also amazing…there are lots of young divorcees! It’s great!”

    I never did get much from him about the job except he was looking forward to offloading the logistics duties onto someone else.

    The interview ended and I left. I went to a gas station for a can of leak stop and a gallon of coolant and chugged home. I wasn’t disappointed when the rejection letter arrived.

    2) Through networking, I’d heard about another job in a very niche part of my field several states away and I applied. I was invited for an interview and they said the hiring manager was going to be traveling near where I lived and he’d be willing to meet with me while en route. I agreed and drove about 100 miles to meet with him (I’d had the radiator fixed by that time). We met and it went well. In fact, he said that given the small pool and odd skill set required (which I had), it looked to be between me and one other candidate. He said they’d be making the decision soon and would contact me.

    A week later, a fat envelope from the company arrives in the mail. I open it to find info on profit sharing, insurance choices, a “your rights and responsibilities as an employee” handbook, brochures on PTO, 401k, etc. I’m thrilled until I read the acceptance letter which had the salutation:”Dear Carl.” The snag is, my name is NOT Carl. What had happened is that they sent his acceptance letter to me and evidently sent my rejection letter to him. I called them, and to their credit, they were mortified.

    I told my roommate about this and he said I missed an opportunity. He said I should have gone to the county courthouse and legally changed my name to Carl.

  354. A girl has no name*

    I was in my twenties, fresh out of teaching school, and was still a massive hippy. I always dried my hands on my pants to avoid killing a tree by using a paper towel.
    I went to a job interview at a charter school, used the bathroom before I went into the room, and tried to dry my hands on my pants. It did not work. I shook the interviewer’s hand with a wet hand. She was not amused.
    I panicked and said “Sorry, I just washed my hands!” She answered, “…Well, you did a good job.”
    I did not get the position.

    1. Beth Jacobs*

      I so feel for you! I dry my hands on my pants too – paper towels feel wasteful and I’m really sensitive to noise so dryers make me anxious. But – not all materials are suitable for it and the water really shows on light colours. Recently, I’ve seen places with a huge cotton towel on a roll – so everyone uses a fresh section. I really hope it goes mainstream.

  355. double spicy*

    Fortunately (or unfortunately?), I have multiple stories for this particular topic.

    1. There was an interview I completely bombed because I didn’t understand how to prepare for it adequately. I didn’t hear back from the hiring manager and he had instructed me to follow up, so I left him a voicemail. When he called me back, he asked for Jessica (which is not my name).

    2. I interviewed at a doctor’s office once. On the way to the interview, I realized I’d forgotten to bring my dress shoes (it was a long drive and I was wearing sneakers). Luckily, I had enough time to run into a department store on the way to buy pumps, so that ended up not being a problem. However, when they interviewed me, it was for a brand-new position where they didn’t know how many hours a week they would need, or exactly what the person in that role would be doing. It was like someone told them having this type of professional on staff was a good idea, but they didn’t actually understand what one would do. I’ve compared it to corresponding with someone for online dating, and then when you meet them, they are totally surprised by your gender.

    3. I was once ten minutes early for an interview at a school. They started the interview twenty minutes after the scheduled time and did not comment on or apologize for the lateness. The principal also never bothered to tell me that I didn’t get the job. Definitely dodged a bullet!

  356. Lizzo*

    First job interview out of school. Meeting with the director (boss’s boss).

    Director asks, “Tell me three things your friends would say about you.”
    I don’t recall the first two things, but the third thing, verbatim, was: “They’d say I have the balls to do just about anything.”
    [small dramatic pause]
    Director: “Really?”
    Me, externally, with a big grin: “Yep, that’s exactly what they’d say!”
    Me, internally: “OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT.”

    I got the job, and after working with the director a bit, realized that response had probably worked in my favor!

    That said…don’t try this at home, kids!

    1. icried*

      You had the balls to do just about anything… And you proved that statement true immediately by declaring that you have the balls to do just about anything during a job interview.

  357. Rosaline Montague*

    In college I really wanted a summer job as a camp counselor. My dad, a teacher, had a colleague who worked summers as a camp director, so he wangled me an interview. All I knew about the interview was that it would be in a group setting at the camp, which was about an hour’s drive. I showed up dressed medium nice in jeans and a silk button-up shirt, Birkenstocks (with socks; it was the 90s). It never occurred to me we would do, like, CAMP stuff. Suddenly I’m standing in a wet field (it was raining, and of course I didn’t have a jacket because I was expecting to be inside) wearing a blindfold, while they evaluate our group’s ability to do things like line up by height or make a circle, all without being able to see each other. I’m getting colder and colder and my feet are getting wetter and wetter. Then we go into the woods to the high ropes course and they want us to climb up ladders and walk across logs and jump off things, etc., all the while demonstrating our leadership skills, I guess? I stood awkwardly on the ground because I could not climb a ladder or cross wet logs IN BIRKENSTOCKS. I don’t know why I stayed.

    None of this showed my ability to take care of children at a summer camp, but oh well. I did not get the job and my dad was kinda irked he had called in a favor, while I was irked I hadn’t had the full information about the scope of the interview (and, admittedly, had made a lot of assumptions). if I’d been dressed properly I would have definitely at least tried to participate!

  358. Bowserkitty*

    Fresh out of college and my study abroad experience, I went with a well-known Japanese recruitment agency in the states. They knew I was looking for entry level stuff and I wasn’t experienced at all with translation. I had a few phone interviews but there really wasn’t much out there for me. Then they sent me to a bank interview three hours away from where I lived where two Japanese men made it really clear they were looking for a native Japanese speaker with ESL experience, not JSL -_- AND it was for someone with mid-level banking experience, which I have none! It was obvious I wasn’t going to get the job (nor COULD I have even really done well at it) and I felt so humiliated at the recruitment agency for sending me to this thing. The company even put me through a high-level written translation test at the end (without dictionary help) and I absolutely bombed it.

    It was so long ago at this point I can’t remember if I wrote back to the agency, but I was so upset with them that I had wasted my time and money going to this place only to feel like a completely under-qualified failure.

  359. kathyglo*

    I had applied for an administrative assistant job in the Psychology Dept. at a university. I thought I was doing pretty well, then I was asked a question about how I would handle stressful situations. I blanked and for some reason tried to joke, and said something like “A large glass of wine works pretty well for me.”
    Well from the look on everyone’s faces, I might just as well have said I keep a large supply of heroin and needles in my desk. I knew right then I blew it.
    Definitely a good lesson in studying and being prepared for future interviews, although I still do cringe hard…

  360. Tenebrae*

    Neither very dramatic but here we go.
    Came home from an interview that had seemed to go really well and discovered that the entire seat of my pants had ripped out. My butt was hanging out. I am unclear when it happened. I did not get the job.
    Many years later, had an interview for a job at my dream institution. Got very sick right before it. Wasn’t sure they’d reschedule for me and it was only a phone interview so I did it with a raging fever. At one point, I forgot what question they had asked halfway through answering it. I did get that job.

  361. Fellow Boot Fancier*

    Agh! The interview in Big City with my pencil-style suit skirt ripped straight up to the *top* of my backside! Can we discuss the awkwardness of walking into a man’s upscale office with apparent aplomb, sitting down, going through the interview with part of my attention noting if I was suddenly feeling more of the seat vs. skirt, then getting up to shake his hand while trying to make backing out of his office-in heels- look like it’s a natural, relaxed thing? Yeah, that one was pretty epic. I had taken the train from the suburbs, left with plenty of time to make the bus to the location and get there well in advance, only to learn that being small of stature and stepping down off a non-kneeling bus while wearing a pencil skirt is a really bad combination. Some nice woman ran up behind me to tell me my entire behind was exposed and helped me situate my suit jacket over the area. Luckily, the interview was at a posh hotel and I marched up to the Front Desk and asked for a sewing kit. Like that was normal. Went into a bathroom stall to remove skirt and mend it best I could-hotel security checked on me twice!-then marched back to the Front Desk to let them know I was there for an interview with their Director of Conferences. ….Gobsmacked-I actually got the job!

        1. Fellow Boot Fancier*

          Sorry, coffee just kicked in. Finishing my thought….because there was SO MUCH flapping until I got that sewn up, and not just my nerves!!!

  362. Sandangel*

    These stories make me feel a lot better about the two stories I have. One went well (basically a fill-in receptionist for a handful of medical offices) until I mentioned at the end that I didn’t drive (This absolutely would have required a car, but she never mentioned it).

    The other one was kinda weird. It was in a really busy part of LA (small lawyer office), and once I found my way in, I was left sitting for probably an hour or so bc a client meeting met over. I had a Massive graphic novel omnibus to read, and even then I was twiddling my thumbs. Once the guy finally showed up, he kept asking weird questions about what my parents and siblings do, if I played a musical instrument, and probably other stuff I’ve forgotten. Then he mentions that I would have to get up at the crock o’ dorn every day, and I think stay late as well.

    Oh! There was also another law office that was into the Church of …let’s say “Happyology”. Otherwise it seemed normal, but I wasn’t upset not hearing back from them.

  363. General von Klinkerhoffen*

    I didn’t think I had a story to offer until I read through the comments and something squirmed out from the recesses of my suppressed memories.

    Background: in the UK you typically apply for university age 17 for a specific programme which could be as broad as Engineering or as narrow as Pharmacology & Molecular Genetics. I am a linguist, so was applying for combinations of $Language1, $Language2 and Linguistics (depending on what the institutions specifically offered, and most didn’t then offer Linguistics without a language).

    At one prestigious university I ended up having around five interviews over two days, plus tests. The first day was two interviewers against me, including one weirdly aggressive interviewer who left me shaken. Day two was individual interviewers one at a time.

    When I arrived for my final interview, I was Pretty Much Done With Making Nice. So when the interviewer asked me what I thought about literature as an academic pursuit, I told him (at length) that I thought it was pseudo-intellectual navel-gazing entirely devoid of joy or merit.

    He explained that they were short of interviewers that day, so instead of a $Language1 or $Language2 or Linguistics specialist he was …

    … you’ve guessed it …

    … a Literature professor.

    (I was accepted, by the way, and graduated with a pure Linguistics degree, having ditched all literature and indeed language classes at the earliest opportunity – not all catastrophic interviews lead to rejection!)

    Three or four years after the interview, without our having set eyes on each other in the meantime, I happened to be seated next to him at a formal dinner.

    “OH IT’S YOU. I REMEMBER YOU!” he declared, before bursting with laughter. I guess I deserved it.

  364. Great Crested Snark*

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    I’m early in my career but have had quite a lot of interview experience for someone my age, and to my mind the incident below stands out as the worst interview experience I’ve ever had.

    (Sorry in advance for the long story).

    I was about 24 and I’d been living in France for 6 months, and I had an intermediate level of French. My circumstances had changed quite suddenly and I needed to find a job pronto, so I’d been sending out a lot of applications and not necessarily tracking where I’d been applying to and for what roles. One day I was out for a run by a busy road and I got a call requesting me to attend a job interview, but due to the traffic noise, lack of context and intermediate French, I couldn’t work out which company the interview was with or exactly where the company was located, just the date, time and *something something something* centre at the local airport. No problem, I though. I’ll just get to the airport nice and early and I’ll go from there. I’m sure I’ll be able to work out where it is. I pondered it over and decided that it must be for a company that I’d recently applied to and for a role that I was pretty excited about, so I prepared myself as best I could and set out on the appointed day.

    When I arrived at the airport, I started to realise the challenge I’d set for myself. It’s quite a large airport with 2 decent sized terminals, and I had no idea where to go and only 30 minutes to get there. I started to walk around and ask people where the company was that I’d thought I’d applied to, but got no results. There were no signs and they weren’t on any of the floor plans. I tried to call the number that they’d called me on, but no answer. I started to panic. After 15 minutes of praying and calling, they picked up and told me that the company was located in the private jet terminal of the airport, a special secret terminal that I’d never thought of going to. I ran there, by now horribly late, and was met by 2 women and a man who told me to take a seat around the corner and wait for them to come by for the interview.

    I don’t know if other people get this issue, but when I’m stressed AF, I get a kind of vision blindness where I can only see in a tunnel vision and it’s hard for me to take in information and process what’s going on. So I was red and sweaty and trying to maintain my composure, and I went around the corner and saw an open door with chairs in the room beyond and thought ‘Aha! Here we are!’. I went in, pulled the door shut behind me, and immediately noticed that it was a very fancy room. Plush furnishings, yachting magazines, soft carpets. I helped myself to some of the fancy handmade biscuits from the tray, grabbed a posh bottle of water from the fridge and sat down on the velvet sofa to wait. And wait. And wait. I waited far longer than I’d expected to, and I was getting bored of reading the magazines about yachting and Swiss watches. Finally, one of the 2 women I’d met at the terminal entrance opened the door and yelled at me ‘What are you doing in here?? This is the first class lounge!! We’ve been looking for you everywhere!!!!!’ I was mortified. I grabbed my things and followed her into the interview room, past a very obvious chair in the hall that was the official designated waiting area.

    When I’d settled into the interview room, the team introduced the company and the role, and it turns out that I’d been thinking of completely the wrong company and wrong job this whole time. However, I didn’t handle is well because I replied, in an audibly disappointed tone, ‘Ooooh’. They definitely noticed. Then they asked me, ‘Are you fluent in Russian?’. I replied, ‘No, I can speak basic Russian, as I’ve noted on my CV’. The man spoke up and said ‘Well for this role, you really need to be fluent in Russian’. There was an awkward pause. ‘Right… I guess I’ll show myself out?’

    At the time I wanted to die, but now I’m able to laugh about it. Thanks Alison for the great blog and the laughs in this thread!!

  365. Tink*

    It was back in 2013. I was going through a period of unemployment. Unfortunately, the industry that I was in was still recovering from the Great Recession, and jobs were pretty scarce. That meant not only relocation, but a slight career change too. My interview was in a city about two hours away. I left with plenty of time to account for traffic and allow myself to freshen up from driving before the scheduled interview.

    I did not account for the road construction.

    A fifteen minute delay would have pushed me to my limit. This one went on for forty. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to call my interviewer, tell them what happened, and inform them that I was going to be late for my scheduled interview. They were able to accommodate me that day despite everything, and after I hung up, I only screamed myself a little hoarse at the state highway department.

    I don’t remember much specific about the interview. I didn’t think I did badly, but I didn’t feel like I did well enough to rise above my earlier mishap. What I do remember is walking out, thinking, “That seems like a nice place to work. Too bad I blew my chance.”

    Two weeks later, in the women’s clothing department of Target, I got the call on my cell phone.

    Reader, I did not blow my chance.

  366. Raindrop*

    I typically interview well, however, my worst interview was after I had hung onto a job that I hated because we were paying for two mortgages due to relocating to a different state for my husband’s job. Once we finally sold the other house, (my entire paycheck went to that mortgage, so it was a very depressing situation), my husband said that I could quit my job. I did, at that time the job market was good (it took me less than a month to start a new job, this was before online applications). In between the job I got and the one I quit, I did an interview for a job at a much larger organization. At that time I was also on fertility medications. The interview went well until the manager started talking about compensation which was abysmally low and which shocked me (I had already taken a pay cut at the job I hated from my previous job, so this was another hit, they don’t pay well in this state). Instead of just taking it in stride, I started crying. I never cry it was due to being on the fertility meds, which are known to make women more emotional, other than that one incident of crying I did not have a lot of emotional symptoms that are typical. The interviewer was miserable and pretty unhappy with me. Obviously, I did not get the job and it was probably for the best. I did end up finding out that I was pregnant soon after and worked through the pregnancy at another job (where I had a great interview and did not end up crying). I can laugh about it now, especially because I did not think that the med affected me that much, when obviously they did!

  367. Q*

    A little late to the party, but one of my first interviews was essentially as a farmhand out in a rural area. On my way out, I used Google Maps – the problem being that there were two unconnected roads of the same name going in opposite directions. By the time I got turned around and found the place, I was about 15 minutes late. The woman interviewing me was peeved, of course, though I explained that I had gotten lost. She spent the rest of the interview cutting me off whenever I answered her questions, and at one point snipped at me to give her a “yes” or a “no” when I tried to give a thorough explanation of my experience in the area she was asking after. The weird part is, she still called to offer me the position after (guessing it was a small pool of applicants).

    Also, not an interview, but as a substitute teacher, I once sat in on a class that was behaving perfectly well doing their work, talking a bit as kids do. I started to read, they started to play “baseball” with a wad of paper. I tried to call the office to get some backup, but the phone in the room wasn’t hooked up and I wasn’t about to leave them. The security staff came around to find me sitting there in uncertainty while they carried on. I felt horrible, and it’s what convinced me once and for all that teaching was not for me.

  368. A Good Egg*

    For my first job out of graduate school, I was concerned about work that was exciting and would not devolve into everyday drudgery. My only reference point was the comic strip Dilbert, which I referenced extensively during the interview. The company was not impressed, and they contacted my graduate advisor to pass on the advice that such philosophical discussions were not relevant for full-time employment.

    1. Roz*

      This made me chuckle. Dilbert as a reference point for philosophical discussions – I’d be into that.

  369. Annie*

    When it was a surprise role playing interview for customer service. They brought a third person in to watch me roleplay with my possible future manager who did the full angry customer routine with their arms crossed. They gave me a list of questions I was supposed to ask 30 seconds before I started and asked me not to read directly from the list. I think I just looked like a fish with my mouth opening and closing

  370. Olive*

    1. Due to budget cuts I was laid off. I took it pretty hard and bawled my eyes off on my way to an interview. I get there, and of course my eyes are red and my face is puffy. I tell the receptionist that I’m having an allergic reaction (I didn’t know what else to say), she gives me eye drops and a couple of allergy pills. Little did I know, the pills were the kind that make you drowsy… I don’t recall the interview, other than the first minute when I told the interviewer “sorry, that my eyes are red, allergies!”, nor driving home back from it. Somehow, I got the job!
    2. In my experience, the first interview with a big company is talking to a recruiter. I mistakenly assumed this would be the case, but upon logging in, I realized that it was a panel of interviewers joining from different countries. After scrambling to answer all their questions because I was unprepared, I gave up on it and had the fantastic idea to say that my connection was having issues. Think of faking that you’re passing through a tunnel, but the online version of that… it went as poorly as you can imagine. To this day, I cringe when I remember how unprofessional that was. Of course, I didn’t get the job.

  371. Pedro C.*

    Not quite a job interview, but – friend was under consideration for a scholarship into a graduate program at the University of Chicago, and was having lunch with an associate dean of the school and someone from admissions. While engrossed in conversation, he failed to notice the contents of the dessert and took a bite, and then promptly interrupted the dean, asked him to call the paramedics, and passed out. The guy was deathly allergic to strawberries.

    He survived, and got the scholarship.

  372. CoveredInBees*

    Not a bomb on my part, but the interviewers. I was interviewing for an executive assistant position for a CEO. However, I’d also be working closely with two senior level staff, so I met with them after meeting with the CEO. During the first interview, I was told the position used to include arranging travel but that had become an overwhelming part of the position that a travel agent now handled it. Great! Except the interview with the two senior staff indicated they had a very different view of the position overall and it came to a head when the topic of booking travel came up. Not only did they feel that I was wrong about the travel agent but they were mad at me for it. I tried diplomatic smooth-overs but nothing short of admitting I was wrong and talking about my plans for arranging travel would placate them. I knew they probably weren’t actually mad at me but getting yelled at wasn’t ok.

    After, I emailed the recruiter giving a brief overview of the experience and suggested that they needed to get together to figure out what they wanted from the position. I also thanked them for their time but removed myself from consideration.

  373. Brain Malfunction*

    I had a job interview for the job I had essentially been doing for years, at a higher rate of pay. The interview should have been a cake-walk.

    However, I had a brain tumor (non-cancerous) at the time and had needed to start a new medication earlier that week, they said that if I had any side effects it would take weeks to kick in. I had been ok-ish, with a massive headache which was the norm for me, but an hour before the interview the meds just hit me, I started becoming groggy, my brain essentially shut down, I couldn’t understand what the interviewer was asking me, and I could barely put together a sentence that didn’t go “like, you know, the thing with the green thing, and the thing over with the person who does the thing” IT WAS RIDICULOUS! The following hands-on test was the software I used daily, and I essentially blinked and then the interviewer was saying the time was up. I had barely even opened the software.

    I explained later what happened, but because of protocol, I couldn’t get a do-over. If I had asked to postpone before the interview, that would have been ok, but I literally was not in my right mind to even think to ask. The interviewers told me later they thought I was drunk it was so bad and out of the norm for me, only one of them knew my medical condition.

    On the plus side, the guy who got the job is awesome.

  374. Ath*

    The interviewer asked about an old friend of his that also worked at the same law firm as me. I had to inform the interviewer that this person had died a few years ago. He had no idea. I still got the job but I didn’t think things were going well when death was a large portion of the interview.

  375. parsnip*

    today i found out that an amazing nature center job i applied for contacted me for a phone interview like a day after i submitted! … 8 days ago, when it got filtered into “promotions.”

  376. Imaginary Number*

    I was a junior in college and applied to be a staff member for a two-week “camp” that was run for incoming women Freshmen in STEM fields. Key here is Freshmen. Not kids. The position was basically like an RA and coordinator.

    I didn’t prepare for the interview at all. One of the first questions they asked me was why did I think I would be a good fit for this position. For whatever reason, I got hyper-focused on “safety” and went on and on about how I had really good attention to detail and was good at identifying potential risks and that safety was the most important thing in this position. Which like, would have been okay if I’d maybe mentioned once, but I basically centered my whole pitch as to why I’d be good at this job around it.

    And I kept coming back to it for other interview questions. Mainly because I didn’t really know what else to say about myself because I had no idea what the position actually entailed. Well over halfway into the interview my interviewer (a grad student) finally interrupted and said “you know we’re talking about people your own age, not little kids, right?”

    I finally realized how I looked and was mortified. I did not get the position.

  377. MissAgatha*

    Once at an interview, I was sitting in a room with one interviewer while waiting for the second one to be free to join us. Into the awkward silence, for reasons that to this day escape me, I started talking about how the typical keyboard that we all learn to type on is actually the most inefficient way to type and it was designed that way to slow people down so that their typewriters didn’t jam up all the time. There is another way of typing called dvorak which is supposed to be way faster. After listening to me babble about this for a few minutes, the interviewer excused herself to go track down the other interviewer, who returned to give me one of the shortest interviews I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t think I was even home before I got a call that they were not considering me for the position.

    1. MissAgatha*

      To make it worse – a few weeks later I got an awesome job, where I still work, and one of my co-workers mentioned that his wife worked at the company I had tried to educate about typing. I said, “Oh I interviewed there but didn’t get it” and he said “…. really? They usually hire pretty much anybody who applies.” I was too embarrassed to tell him my suspicions about why I didn’t get the job.

  379. Pear*

    When I was very young and very eager and very willing to put up with being treated like complete crap:

    This was the sixth interview for the PR agency. (Yes, I went through five interviews before this. The number of applicants kept getting smaller…and smaller….and smaller…and….)

    The sixth interview was going to be the final one, I was told. We were going to meet with the president of the agency, and I was all ready to get that job, finally.

    I get there about 10 minutes early and come face to face with the two other individuals who were my competition, so to speak. We find out from the receptionist that the president only comes to work one day out of the week, and while we would each meet with the president individually, the president had the receptionist schedule all the interviews back to back, so “we could bond over this shared triumph of being one of the three who bested all the others.”

    The receptionist relayed this in such a cheerful, upbeat manner that I didn’t even completely process what had been said until much later.

    There was no bonding. There was a lot of sizing each other up and peeking at work portfolios, though.

    I was picked to go last. So I sat through a hour of waiting for my turn. Strangely, the two other individuals came out of that interview with the president wide eyed, as if they had seen or heard something that was so shocking that words could not express it.

    When it was my turn, I found out what it was.

    On the very large wall, behind the president’s desk, was a mural. It was a very, very, VERY large horizontal painted mural – easily 6 feet wide, long and tall, so vivid as to look like a photograph and not a mural.

    It was of his wife. Completely, totally naked. Not artistically draped naked. Not coy, covering the chest and the lower regions naked. Completely, totally, utterly naked, with a come hither expression, reclining on a bed, legs spread, hair spread across the pillows, you get the idea.

    My mouth completely dropped open when I saw it. I was very young and my recovery time from this….was not good. He saw me looking at it (HOW COULD I NOT?) and said, “That’s my wife. She’s a very open person like I am, not afraid to hide anything, and that’s the kind of person I want for this position – a very open person who isn’t hiding anything.”

    And I responded in the only way I could think of – “I am not that open.”

    And reader, I did not get that job.

  380. Nezumi*

    I once applied internally to a corporate trainer job, coming up from a data processor. Basically I’d train people how to do my current job. As a processor, there’s not a lot of thinking, and when there’s a issue the SOP is to kick the problem file up the chain and move on to the next mediocre file in the queue. In other words, not a job where you learn to handle adversity.

    Naturally the interviewer asked “Tell me about a time when you were under intense adversity at work. How did you overcome it?”

    I panicked and reached back to the last time I had adversity, and spun a highly embellished yarn about how when working at Starbucks (ten years prior) we were three baristas down, the manager was ill, no one was trained and there was a line of angry customers forming and I grabbed the recipie book, learned how to make a caramel machiatto right then and there and led the troops to victory on that cold, grey, bitter 5am morning coffee rush! By GOD we had every customer served within a reasonable amount of time!”

    There were almost certainly other reasons, but…. the look on the interviewer’s faces made it pretty clear I wasn’t getting that job.

  381. occula*

    Once I was completely unable to find the office where a job interview was. It was in the state capitol building, which is large and confusing, and the office was apparently located off a stair landing, so it was like … the second and a half floor? Obviously I don’t know, because I couldn’t find it. I inquired first at the front desk, they directed me, I ended up eventually in a service elevator with several maintenance staff trying to help, and none of us could find it. Maybe that was a test I failed. At any rate, I eventually slunk away about half an hour after the interview was to happen, and pretended it never happened. Note: this was well before cell phones.

  382. Dorothy Zbornak*

    Way late to this party, but:

    I generally interview well – I practice answers, I research orgs and people I’ll be interviewing with, etc. Some years ago I landed an all-day interview for a job that was basically the same as what I had been doing at the time, just with more responsibility and at a bigger organization (that paid more, which was a huge plus). Essentially the same title but still a step up. I had an initial phone interview with someone that went well, so I was invited back for an all-day interview.

    The job was meant to report to the head of the organization, and I’d been told during scheduling that I’d be interviewing with a bunch of people, but the day before the interview I still hadn’t received any information about who I’d be meeting with and I was getting nervous. I finally received my interview schedule in the late afternoon and saw I’d be meeting with like 25 people total, each interview ranging from 1 to 4 or 5 interviewers. Most of the interviewers represented different areas of the org, so I was instantly put at a disadvantage as I had just 1 night to research all the people and what areas of the org they represented and come up with interesting questions for all of them. I was up way later than I’d wanted trying to cram all this information.

    I got to the location okay and learned that I’d basically be camped out in one conference room the entire day – a conference room in an old building that apparently didn’t have A/C, and this was in late April on an extremely warm day. I don’t do well in the heat in the best of times — I am a person who sweats and I get migraines and dizziness — but being hot during an all-day interview when I was in a suit it was basically my worst nightmare.

    Some of the interviews were ok, despite answering the same questions 6 or 7 times, but others were not. I had a one-on-one interview early in the day where a guy who ran some center within the organization basically grilled me with management questions about what I would do if I were in his position and he had a trouble employee. I wasn’t interviewing for a manager position! It had literally nothing to do with the job! I answered the best I could, and I know I gave okay answers because I’m pretty good at bluffing on topic, but he kept hounding me about it. “Is that really what you would do? Really?” I think he thought he was being funny. Jesus Mary and Joseph, I wanted to lean across the table and strangle him.

    As I mentioned earlier, I had researched every single person I was interviewing with and written down specific questions for the “do you have any questions for us?” portion. I had a leather folder with a notepad in it with all the questions in it that I kept on the table but closed for each interview. During each “do you have any questions for us?” I’d politely ask if they minded if I pulled out my notepad for reference – most everyone was fine with it since they knew I was meeting with a bajillion people who all came from different areas of the organization and that I’d naturally want to use my notes to remember my questions, but I had one person sarcastically say, “If you really think you need it, I guess so.” I stumbled through a response about how I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget to ask something important during my interviews, but it was clear that I lost points by daring to need my notes. Was I supposed to memorize 50+ questions?

    When I finally met with the head of the org, she honed in on a small gap several years prior in my resume, which I explained with some of Allison’s wording about a health issue that had long since been resolved (it was depression and obviously I didn’t need to explain that!), but it was quite clear she was extremely displeased with the gap.

    They never once offered me water or the restroom the entire day. I finally had to ask for both.

    I’d asked for a salad for the “lunch interview” portion and the salad was absolutely tiny, basically just iceberg lettuce, nothing to really fortify me for the rest of the day.

    And, as I mentioned earlier, it was so flipping hot in that room, particularly when the afternoon sun started beating down on it, that I legitimately thought I might faint. I didn’t even need the restroom to pee – I must have been so dehydrated and hot that the water I’d drunk was just absorbed back into my body – I mostly just wanted to do a sweat check to see if I’d actually sweated through my interview clothes. My torso was ok due to a shirt + the jacket but my butt was looking a little damp, and it was a gray suit and of course sweat stains show more in gray. But it wasn’t TOO bad and honestly I was so over the day I didn’t even give a shit.

    I finally staggered out at about 5pm with a full-blown migraine, actually unsure of whether or not I’d be able to drive home. I took some Excedrin Migraine and sat in my car for a while until the migraine eased enough to a regular headache and I was able to drive home.

    I did not get the job.

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