work and COVID-19: an open thread

by Alison Green on April 16, 2020

This is an open thread for all things related to the intersection of work and COVID-19.

It’s been nearly a month since the first stay-at-home order was issued in the U.S. How are you doing in this weird new reality? What questions do you have? How can other people help?

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  1. Hlyssande*

    I’m really struggling to keep up with daily routines and it’s definitely affecting my ability to work. Sleep is not good.

    I don’t have room for a separate office setup in my apartment, so the place I’m working is the same place I’m on my laptop for leisure, which makes it harder to switch on and off to work mode.

    At least my cat is very snuggly.

    1. Amanda*

      I was having this issue. What helped was I started to close every work program when the work part of the day ended, even email, and then shut down the laptop. I then go to my front door, take a step out and then enter again, like I’m just walking home after work. And then I go on to do what I normally would in my leisure time.

      Even if I turn my laptop on 10 minutes after having turned it off, it really helped to separate my “home” time!

      1. Alice*

        I’ve been doing something similar. I have a work bag, so when I end my day the previous evening around work end time, I pack up my laptop into my bag, shut everything down at my desk (which is also my kitchen table), put my work phone on vibrate, and pack up anything else I might have used during the day. I move the bag to the place where I leave it on the floor when I come home from work and then open the door to my bedroom as if I’m coming home from work. (That’s one of the first places I go after work so I can put my shoes back in my closet.) The next morning I reverse the process – shut the door to my bedroom, move my work bag to my work station, unpack everything, and start working the normal time I would work in the morning. It’s obviously not exactly the same, but I think the action of packing up my work bag has helped me shift from work mode to home/leisure mode.

        Hope you figure out something that works, Hlyssande!

        2. Courageous cat*

          I do something like this too. I move my monitor into an area I can’t see it and put my laptop into my bag. I reclaim my dining table – buying fresh flowers whenever I’m at the grocery store to keep there has helped too somehow.

      2. Beth*

        This sounds like one of the best, simplest, most effective end-of-work rituals imaginable. Go you!

    2. juliebulie*

      Yes, I’m surprised how hard it is to keep up a daily routine. I want to rebel! I want to… I’m not sure what I want. But not this.

      And sleep – I don’t understand how I can be so tired, I want to go to bed early, yet my sleep is crap. I think I need exercise, but I’m too tired :-(

      Luckily I do have a separate space to work in, but my kitchen is just outside the doorway (there is no actual door). The kitchen is full of distractions.

      Oddly enough I find it easier to work with the TV on (game shows, reruns, etc that I don’t have to pay attention to). I guess because it somewhat mimics the din of the office?

      1. CupcakeCounter*

        Are you me????
        Exactly the same – tired, easily distracted, and required background noise. I have basically turned into a guard dog as well – a noise??? I must go investigate that immediately, oh just the washing machine finishing its cycle, when was the last time I washed the towels? Sheets? Have I change clothes recently? Oh look – a kitty!

        It doesn’t help that things are changing so fast behind the scenes at my place that our boss is hesitant to pass along some work because the directives change every hour or two so I barely have anything to do.

        1. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

          It doesn’t help that things are changing so fast behind the scenes at my place that our boss is hesitant to pass along some work because the directives change every hour or two so I barely have anything to do.

          OMG do you work where I work? It’s been driving me batty!

        2. Claudia*

          OMG, this is me. I spent 10 minutes yesterday investigating what I thought was two cat meows, only to conclude that it was either a regular squeak noise, or I was hallucinating. I then changed my pants and washed my sheets.

        3. MusicWithRocksIn*

          I can see right out the front window where I’m sitting and I stop and stare every time someone walks by. I feel like that noisy neighbor in Bewitched. But I am starved of seeing people doing things! The other day one of the deer gave me a look like I was creeping them out.

          1. This Old House*

            I have heard more references to Gladys Kravitz in the past 10 days than in the previous 10 years. This is clearly a pretty universal response to isolation. “Is that a real live human being?! I must know more!”

            1. Pomona Sprout*

              Gladys Kravitz was a character on a 60s TVshow, Bewitched, a nosy lady who semed to spend all her time looking out the window to spy on her neighbors.

      2. AvonLady Barksdale*

        You’re anxious! That is how you can be so tired. And it’s really hard. Just don’t beat yourself up for being tired. It sucks, but it’s a normal consequence of uncertainty and anxiety, even when you don’t think you’re anxious.

        No advice– unless you want it– but just some commiseration and some assurance that you’re not weird.

      3. HiringMgr2*

        I like to have the radio on in the background – same concept, I think! I’m trying to re-create office chatter! Maybe burn some popcorn, microwave some fish? haha, kidding. I’m trying to use humor to keep myself afloat, clearly.

        2. pancakes*

          There are lots & lots of long-playing videos on YouTube with these sorts of background sounds – 10 hours of coffee shop sounds, etc. I’ll drop a couple links in a separate reply. I’ve been working from home since last summer and often have one going in the background.

      4. Falling Star*

        Have you considered a tension rod and “curtain” as a door to block your view to the kitchen? If your doorway is wide, you can use a tension shower rod Some of the shower curtains have very nice graphics including outdoor scenes. Obviously a bed sheet you already own is an option. A tension rod will also allow you to adjust it vertically to let in light from the top, or raise it to allow egress for 4-legged coworkers.

        1. juliebulie*

          That’s not a bad idea. I have extra sheets and I can probably relocate one of the rods currently in use.

          1. Kelly AF*

            You could also try Command hooks and a shower curtain (or a sheet with holes cut in it) for a similar temporary solution.

            1. TheOtherJennifer*

              this is a really good idea. We have an office without a door and my husband constantly walks in while i’m on web cons. I could hang a shower curtain there with a big KEEP OUT sign!

              1. Kelly AF*

                No joke, this is absolutely how we have blackout curtains hung over the blinds in our bedroom in our current rental! We put up a bunch of command hooks, then hung them from those. It’s not pretty, but it works.

        2. Alexandra Lynch*

          If you own and can put holes in the walls, I use a wooden closet pole (cut to length) with closet rod holders. The pole fits into one and the other has a cutout to let the pole slip out, and you rotate that slightly to get the pole in and out. Tension poles didn’t work for us because we have a young cat who tried to climb the curtain. It’s a slightly more permanent solution, but you may want that.

          Our four-legged companions figured out how to nose the curtain aside so they could nap in the closet. I have, however, had a cat who was a Cat of Little Brain who would simply cry “Mommy is behind the Wall Of Fabric! I cannot get to Mommy!” when I drew a door curtain. His sister just looked at him and slipped through at the side. So it’s your call.

    3. Nina*

      I want more separation between school and play. It feels a bit like I’m always at work even though I have been working in a designated spot and actually exercising, eating family dinner, cooking fancy things after work – activities that you would think would feel like a break.

    4. Oranges*

      This only applies if you use your laptop for both work and leisure (as I do), but the biggest thing that helped me was making a separate user account on my laptop for work. I have a MacBook and if you check under “Users & Groups” in System Preferences, you can create a whole new user – with their own background, toolbar, files, and all that. It really helps to keep all of my files and bookmarks separate from my leisure account because I’m unable to just click over to Twitter on a whim.

      2. Ama*

        If you have a PC you should be able to do this as well. I also have separate Chrome profiles so I can’t access my “fun” bookmarks easily from work (and also can’t be as easily tempted into “just checking” work email when I’m on my home profile).

    5. Brett*

      Are you allowed to exercise outside where you are?

      I took up running, and started doing my workout right after the workday is done. This has created a nice barrier between work and the rest of my life. Cooking (which might mean eating earlier) is another barrier you can use.

      Another thing that has been really helpful is that we bought another laptop. So now work is done on one laptop and everything else is done on another. When I am done with work, I close the work laptop up and it stays closed. The home laptop has none of my work tools on it: no slacks, no work email, etc. (This is mandated by our security policies anyway, but still something to keep separate if you do this.)

      A second laptop might seem like a luxury, but you might be able to get one for relatively cheap and it could be very worth the sanity it could add to your routine.

      1. Ice and Indigo*

        If you aren’t able to go out running and have limited space, a good routine is to march in the spot, getting your knees as high as you can with each step. Preferably to funny music. I find that ‘Ra Ra Rasputin’ gets me a long way.

        1. Hillary*

          Walk at Home with Leslie Sansone videos are surprisingly good – she has a lot on youtube now (I also have older DVDs).

      2. Alli525*

        To clarify, I don’t think there are ANY rules in the U.S. that mandate you can’t go outside to exercise (provided you observe physical and social distancing). I live in the epicenter of the outbreak and I go out most days for a walk/run at lunchtime, which is completely in line with city and state rules. I wear a bandanna that I’ve folded into a mask, but even that’s not required yet unless the areas where I walk are crowded.

        I’ve been working on my coffee table because I don’t have space for a desk in my tiny apartment… recently I’ve started considering moving it so I can face in another direction while I work, vs where I sit when I watch TV.

        1. Brett*

          It’s not so much directly stay at home rules as it is just safety related. We definitely have neighborhoods here where it is not safe to go running. People there would go to certain parks, school tracks, or gyms to run. But the parks, school tracks, and gyms are all closed by use, so they do not have a safe place to run without taking public transit to another neighborhood.

        2. Eukomos*

          I always sit in a particular seat at my dining table when I eat, so for work I’m sitting on the opposite side of the table. I really do think it helps.

    6. Champagne Cocktail*

      I live in a studio apartment so I understand. Something that has really helped me is having a specific lighting configuration when I am working and another when I am not.

      1. Diahann Carroll*

        I too live in a studio, and I keep my dimmer lights on during work hours because it illuminates my workspace the way office lights do, and then at the end of the day, I turn that off and turn on my main lamp that illuminates the entire room. It really does make a difference in setting the tone.

      2. Frinkfrink*

        My husband telecommuted for 7 years before his current job, and this is what he did. He turned his overhead light on for work, and used other lighting for non-work activities in his office.

    7. MarketingLady*

      I was struggling with this, until I started going on 45 minute (length of my commute) walks before and after work to reset my brain.
      It keeps me active which is something I needed badly, and my “commute” gets my head ready for the day.

      1. WantonSeedStitch*

        I do this as well! I always started my commute with a walk of a little over a mile to get to the subway station, and now, I start my morning with a walk about that length. Since I’m not getting out and about much during the day, I take a longer walk in the evening when I’m done with work. It’s really helpful for me to shift mental gears.

      2. Christina*

        I started doing this the second week of stay-at-home orders and it’s made a WORLD of difference in breaking up work time from home time (and also weekdays from weekend). It also helps because I don’t have any good open space to exercise in my place and I just can’t keep looking at the same 4 walls 24/7.

        In 4 weeks, I’ve walked 56 miles! I haven’t skipped a day, even when it was raining or snowing, even if my walk was literally just around the block.

    8. Katrinka*

      I feel out of sorts, too, but I feel guilty about it because I don’t have it as bad as others. I’m still getting a full paycheck. I have a dedicated office space. I’m single, so I don’t have to compromise and deal with also caring for a partner or family. What right do I have to be stressed? (Which isn’t logical, but anxiety never is.)

        1. pamela voorhees*

          It’s also a perfectly rational response to the situation — you don’t have to justify your anxiety by comparing it to other people’s. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic that has the potential to change life as we know it. Of course you feel anxious. There’s no reason to feel guilty. If you can, give yourself permission to feel anxious. It’s better than creating a guilt spiral where you feel anxious, feel guilty, and then feel more anxious because you feel guilty.

      2. Liz*

        I have all that, minus the dedicated office space. and yet i find myself being anxious sometimes for no good reason. I just am. You’re totally allowed to be, the fact you don’t have responsibilities others do doesn’t matter one bit. Its scary, and uncertain. so you’re allowed to feel however you do, without feeling guilty.

      3. Curmudgeon in California*

        Most of my teammates have kids, so it’s obvious why they’re stressed. I can easily WFH full time, and not having the damned commute is wonderful, and gives me back two hours a day.

        However, I am a worrier by nature. My stress is through the roof. I only have a spouse and roommates, but everyone in my house is high risk.

      4. TechWorker*

        Me too! (RE: stable workable from home job and enough room for a dedicated office space). I am living with my partner but we’re both young and healthy and honestly I think I’d go nuts without social contact so I can’t exactly count that as a negative. I also had to take a few hours out last week to panic cry – as you say anxiety isn’t rational or logical but also – this is a super weird situation. I’m trying to be as sympathetic with myself as I would be with others… it’s a work in progress. Good Luck!

    9. Liz*

      Same. my “office” is my dining room table, which is basically an extension of my living room. So when i’m done, and on the couch,etc. i can still see my “office” i’ve been shutting down my laptop each night, and trying to set a routine. i make my bed each day, get dressed, including a bra, wash my face, and brush my hair, teeth etc. no makeup but that’s ok

      i’ve also been exploring new things to keep me busy in my down time, like audiobooks, which i never really liked, but now love, keeping the tv off, limiting my news watching, and taking walks. sometimes at lunch, sometimes after work.

      i’m actually considering taking tomorrow afternoon “off” even though i can’t realy go anywhere! i do need to grocery shop so i may do that, and then hit the pharmacy for a few things. then come home, and maybe do some chores which I can’t seem to get to after work.

    10. SophieChote*

      Same!
      Poor sleep, despite knowing I’m as safe as can be.
      Same re: using same space as where I eat, have leisure (watch online), etc.
      Having issues with staying on task, etc.

      Sigh…I guess it’s the new normal

      And we’re all experiencing similar things

    11. Duck Duck Goose*

      I’m in the same boat. I don’t have a home office so my wife and I are just sitting on the couch where we relax and using the coffee table for a shared desk. A way we’ve been trying to combat the work/life switch is shutting everything down and going on a short walk around our complex. It allows us to “come home” in a sense and has definitely helped, although not solved everything.

    13. chocoholic*

      One thing my husband and I have been doing is replacing our commute with a walk around our neighborhood. We go in the morning before we start work and again in the afternoon when we are done. It has helped.

      1. Partly Cloudy*

        Oh, this is a great idea! I spent my “morning commute” outside with my dogs but in the afternoon, I end up just working until – or later than – I would normally get home from commuting. :/

    14. MK*

      Same. I’m struggling to stay motivated on my work tasks. Yesterday I took a 2-hour nap at lunch and did about 30 minutes of actual work. I can’t focus and it takes me several days to complete something instead of a few hours (like it would in the office).

      My skin looks/feels like shit too. I haven’t been adhering to my normal skin routine, partly laziness and because I’m not running to the store if I run out.

      Increased grief, depression and anxiety no doubt.

      1. Elenia*

        My sleep patterns are bad. I sleep about 3.5 hours straight, then wake up, then sleep another 3.5 hours. This is obviously affecting everything I do. And now the Pause has been extended I just feel utterly depressed. I gotta clean, that always cheers me up, but I gotta get motivated to clean first. :(

        1. MusicWithRocksIn*

          I have the worst time getting up in the morning. And for some reason the baby is too? I can wake up fine when the baby is crying, but he’s been sleeping in, so I need to drag my butt out of bed, so I can drag his butt out of bed and get him dressed and fed before I’m supposed to be ‘on’ for the office. Part of it may be that I’ve forgotten how to wake myself up without a crying baby, but I’m a bit weirded out that he doesn’t want to get up either.

          1. allathian*

            How old is he? Babies change so quickly and go through stages. At some point they just learn that they don’t have to wake up and cry, especially if your schedule hasn’t really changed and you need to wake him up. Some babies wake up very early until they’re about 8-10 months or so, but after that their sleep pattern changes and they’ll sleep longer if they can. It happens about the same time that they switch from three naps to two or two naps to one. Or at least it did for my son, YMMV.

      2. ThisPersonIsTyping*

        trouble sleeping and concentrating, being easily irritated and being sensitive to noise when you weren’t before – these are all sings of depression (ask me how I know…).
        These are real things. They’re not just “in your head”. So sorry to anyone experiencing it, it’s definitely not easy. Be gentle with yourself.
        For anyone who wants advice: If you can, do something that takes your mind off the anxiety-inducing situation. Create art, listen to music, move around… chose the easiest version of anything. For example you may not have the energy for a one-hour zumba class but maybe you can do a 20-min-stretching. or even a 5 min one. Just lower the bar for yourself for everything. We’re all doing the best we can.

    15. Princess Deviant*

      There is comfort for me in knowing that others are having the same difficulties as I am, but yes it’s so very hard! I suppose the advice I’d give to you, which would also apply to me but which is hard to do!, is to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that the times are unknown so we can’t know how we are going to react to the unknown until it happens. We can cut ourselves some slack and cuddle our cats.
      And maybe eat chocolate? :)

    16. Curmudgeon in California*

      I actually use a different computer, in a different room, than the one I play games and read email on.

      My “commute” is from my bedroom to my work area. I do have to remember to activate my screen saver at the end of the day, get up and go into a different room for a few minutes to “end” my workday.

      The sleep thing, though…

      I already had insomnia. The insomnia is aggravated by stress. The stress from my roomie getting restless and always wanting to go out shopping is spreading to me and my wife. Sleep, what’s that?? If I get 6 hours a night I’m doing good. My body wants 8 or 9. Naps have entered my lifestyle.

    17. Stacey Rebecca*

      This is the exact same issue I was dealing with- impossible to switch gears psychologically when I tried to do work from my comfy couch spot.

      I ended up buying a $10 wooden folding tv tray from target and setting it up in front of a chair off to the side of my living room. When I sit in that chair, I’m at my “desk” and can get my head in the game.

    19. Quill*

      What I would give for a cat or a dog right now.

      My only company is podcasts and stuffed animals. My mother is campaigning for me to come cross country to live with them for the duration of this, some sort of nesting instinct I think.

      Fortunately I have a personal laptop so I just pack up the work one at the end of the day…

    20. Bethany*

      I’ve been going for a walk as soon as I finish working – though of course this is dependent on whether walks are allowed where you live.

  2. Legally a Vacuum*

    My productivity is really down-the expectation that I’m always available (because what else am I doing?) just sucks the motivation right out of me

    1. Jedi Squirrel*

      Same. I didn’t realize that WFH meant WFH 24/7.

      I really have no desire/motivation to do anything other than job search.

      1. AnotherAlison*

        I’m actually doing less off-hours than when I worked at the office. I used to work in the office, come home, do some household things, and hop back on my laptop. After all day in my home office and having the family around “not disturbing” me, I don’t have motivation or much ability to go back to work later in the evening. My family used to be scattered at night, but now they’re home and tired of being ignored. It’s the only way I can stay somewhat sane, and I am sorry for those working with people who won’t allow any boundaries or down time now.

        1. RegBarclay*

          I don’t have family living with me, but back in Before Times I used to take a break at five pm for a couple of hours to run errands, drive home and eat. Then I’d log back in all refreshed and power through a few more hours of work. Without that break and change of scene my second wind just isn’t there anymore.

    2. Amanda*

      But you’re not always available, and if your company expects you to be, they’re asshats.
      You should try to keep to the normal hours you would have in the office, and when that’s done just close everything work related. Go read a book, or play video games, or zoom with family and friends, whatever.
      Virtual happy hours help too, and not just with coworkers, but friends too. I had virtual dinner with a bunch of friends last Monday, and it went great!

      1. Legally a Vacuum*

        The problem is that we’ve always occasionally had to put in late hours- nothing unexpected for a lot of people who are non-exempt.

        Right now a lot of people on different projects are assuming I have some time after hours- maybe only once every 2 weeks or so. But if I’m on 10 different projects, that’s a lot of people who expect availability. And it’s not like at the office where it’s clear I’m staying late multiple days in a row.

        Going to my boss is fine, but he doesn’t control my workflow, and my ability to push back when my great-grandboss specifically asks me to work on a project is limited.

        1. Quinalla*

          Yup, I hear you, I’ve been pushing back on this myself, saying that expecting people to work more than 40 hours right now is for most not possible. Even those in the most ideal set up are still stressed and having to deal with so much they normally wouldn’t – add kids on top of that or someone else you are taking care of, health issues, anything breaking, etc. ugh! I can barely squeeze in 40 right now without working weekends and I flat out refuse, they are the only thing keeping me sane. I’ve been asking for more help and ruthlessly prioritizing on things that are due today vs. due later.

    3. Another name*

      I agree, I started off being more productive, when I first started teleworking 4 weeks ago, but my management’s push to accelerate projects because we all supposedly have more time and availability to work on them now is really sucking the motivation out of me.

      I am grieving for my “normal” life and fearing for the life of my loved ones who work in health care, and that takes energy too – I am not a work bot!

      1. Chili*

        Yes! My company had us do some “emergency work” right when things started to get serious with COVID-19 in our area and people started working from home. I didn’t mind doing some work outside normal hours for 2 weeks, especially since I could understood the justification of that tighter-than-normal timeline, but now, on week 4, they are still trying to push us on “new emergency projects” that really are just regular work on accelerated timelines because they realized we could do things much faster and it’s just unsustainable. I want to have time to do my hobbies!

        1. Another name*

          Exactly – it was one thing to push to get urgent tasks completed and everyone who was able to settled in to work from home the first couple of weeks – that was understandable. But now the managers are beating the bushes to flush out projects that dropped off the radar, sometimes for good reason, so they can whip them across the finish line.

          At least that’s how it looks when I insist on logging out at my regular time, and log back in every morning to read all the after hours emails and find that I’m already waaaay behind.

        2. Quill*

          Everything was an emergency the first two weeks, and now all the emergencies are me saying “Yes I’m aware of that going on, no, nothing will happen until the plague is over, please just set yourself an auto reminder to blast that at me some time in June or July when I have answers.”

    4. Goodbye Toby*

      Yeah our office keeps beating the drum that we all need to have a “work first” mentality and don’t seem to see the issue with that at all. They want us to be working and producing more than ever before, at the same time they cut our salaries and keep threatening our jobs under their breath. It is incredibly demotivating and quietly all of us are discussing how we are burnt out and done. I know we’re fortunate to have a job but oi.

      2. sofar*

        I’ve been joking to my husband that, when our company says, “We are going to be flexible and understand that everyone may not be working at 100%,” they clearly ACTUALLY mean, “We expect 150% right now.”

    5. Frinkfrink*

      My day job doesn’t expect me to be available outside of my posted hours, but I have a side gig in graphic design and all of THOSE clients are expecting me to be just as productive as ever. I even had one start an email with “Since you’re not commuting now and have more time…” At least that one took “No, I’m already overbooked” as an answer.

    6. Bree*

      Having this issue too – and I work in the health sector, so my ability to push back without looking like a jerk is super limited.

      1. Kitrona*

        If you burn out, you can’t do *any* work for them. Maybe that’s a tack you can take?

    7. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      I am getting a bit disheartened by seeing messages from colleagues at times like 7pm asking about implementation details of things, “should we do it this way or that way” etc that are really just part of ongoing project work — we do have deadlines for the project, but these questions aren’t urgent or time-sensitive as such.

      Then a conversation will start up in the group chat with people offering their opinion of what to do and why, responding to other people’s opinions with positive feedback or with why it won’t work as the case may be… and then there is an ongoing debate. The team I’m working with is quite “conflict comfortable” so it’s normal to have these kinds of debates but I don’t want to get into them at 7pm!

      It’s like the boundaries have gotten blurred between work life and home life with these people… and I can understand that, but am quite good at drawing boundaries myself so I’m passively aware that this is happening (because the group chat app is running in the background and pops things up) but I don’t actively engage or reply unless it is truly something time sensitive which has happened once over the last few months (the nature of this project is that it is long-term, we aren’t directly in the “line of fire” from clients or anything like that).

  3. annakarina1*

    I’ve been OK, but missing the community of my office space. I miss the casual social vibe of it. I’ve been able to do most of my work from my home laptop, but it doesn’t feel natural to just be home all the time working, I prefer office life. I’m lucky to be safe and to have my job, but I miss my co-workers and our friendly conversations, we just now only talk on Slack about work.

    2. The Cosmic Avenger*

      This. This is why I’m video chatting with coworkers, even if I don’t need to check in with them. I figure it’s pretty much the same as stopping by their office to chat for a few minutes, and if that was OK when we were in the office, it should be OK now. If anything, it’s actually needed more now.

    3. Megumin*

      Same, I always preferred working at home most of the week (not all, but most), but now I really miss my coworkers and being on campus. Although I think my previous job was the main reason I wanted to work from home – it was a super toxic environment and I just couldn’t stand being around most of those people, so I worked from home as much as I was allowed. Now that I have a much better job and team, I like being at the office.

    4. Herding Butterflies*

      This. I work at in incubator / start-up space and it’s just me in my office – so I work alone anyway – but I really miss my office!

    5. Another Chris*

      At this point I would pay money to sit in a room full of strangers and not talk to any of them, just to be around some different company in a different place.

    6. GRA*

      Yes! While I am so very grateful to be able to work from home, this experience has taught me that I DO NOT like working from home … I miss people and the office environment soooooo much!!

    9. BethDH*

      Agreed. I’ve realized I am a particular type of social — I don’t want to have events with work people much and I don’t even really miss events with close friends much. But I really miss those short casual conversations that just happen with friends/colleagues/neighbors.

    10. Aquawoman*

      Would it work for you to set up some coffee breaks on video chat? I have a video team meeting with my reports every week. It usually lasts 50-60 minutes and is 90% chat and 10% work issues.

    11. Academic admin*

      I am in my university admin office with just a handful of other people. It’s safe but there are no students. They are the best part of my job and I miss them! And there is talk that we may still be distant Ed in the fall. We are going feral here. There are comfy chairs on the balcony, tomato plants in the lobby and I plan to wear my fuzzy kitty slippers tomorrow.

      1. kiri*

        I work in an academic library – I miss the students SO much!! It’s so much easier to remember why we do what we do when I get to see students, chat with them about how things are going or help them figure something out. Easily the best part of my job! Here’s hoping we get to go back in the fall!

    12. Saaam*

      I really miss office life too. Our Slack channels used to be full or random articles and jokes, but now they’re dead silent and the only thing people message about is work. I don’t understand it. I miss random short conversations walking past people. I miss being in the presence of others and hearing background chatter.

      1. Curmudgeon in California*

        That, at least, is not our problem on Slack. We have a remote work channel, as well as a “random” channel, a “#hashtag-dad-jokes” channel, and a “punitentiary” channel. Those of us who want it get our quota of humorous memes, puns, and dad jokes. We even have an RSS feed of XKCD piped into our “random” channel.

        I wish we had a “rant” channel, but that’s not in our “go along to get along” culture.

        But we are leveraging Slack pretty well as our virtual announcement board and watercooler.

    13. an actual doctor*

      I’m an essential worker (see name) and need to be onsite. However, a lot of my normal day-to-day co-workers are now working from home. On top of that, I’m seeing patients virtually to try to decrease their exposure risks. I’m very extroverted, and the lack of IRL people contact (even though I’m still going to work) is making me exhausted!

    14. TheOtherJennifer*

      I had a co worker video con me today just to tell me he missed me giving him shit in real life. So that was cool. Hang in there!

    15. Anon for this*

      Try starting a social Slack channel. We have a “water cooler” chat which we use to share pet photos, talk about our families, or chat about pop culture like Tiger King, Animal Crossing, etc. It’s a great outlet to keep up the social team dynamics. And keep work out of it :)

  4. Beancat*

    As of this morning I’m officially furloughed. I was asked by a doctor to stay home two extra weeks after a coworker tested positive for COVID-19 and was due to return next week. Now we’re furloughed and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

    I would probably be a lot worse off if I didn’t have my husband and kittens here. I feel lucky in that sense. I think we’ll pull through okay, but I’m also definitely a bit off kilter.

  5. WhatDayIsIt*

    I work in a hard hit industry (think tourism), but we’re finally setting into long term projects at our work and our superiors are trying to protect our jobs with the higher ups. But watching other people loose work in our field has been tough and nerve-wracking as the lowest-ranking employee in my unit. It’s hard to figure out how concerned I should be.

    I also find myself worrying a lot about over-communicating – how much should I talk to my coworkers? Am I overbearing with my questions / new project ideas?

    2. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      Long term projects are things that presumably the company wants to have in order to be “competitive”, but probably doesn’t have the time for most of the time.

      Do you think you have a “visionary” management who see this as the chance to turn it into an opportunity to redirect people to work on things that will put you ahead of the game when things get back to somewhat normal? I worry that you say your “superiors are trying to protect your jobs with the higher ups” so perhaps not… but ultimately the higher ups haven’t made the decision to furlough or lay off people yet, which I would think it’s likely they could be talking about that by now if it was going to happen.

      Whether you are being ‘overbearing’ with new project ideas depends on whose initiative it was that you are “finally settling into long term projects” — has that come from ‘above’ or have you all just taken initiative to work on those. In any case I think proposing concrete things you can work on to put the company in a better place is likely to be appreciated, if they are realistic ideas.

  6. BigSigh*

    I think, at this point, I’m as adjusted as I’m going to get. I can tell the only way I’m not going stir crazy is because I’m lucky enough to be able to set up a work space outside my bedroom.

    I feel closer than ever to not just with the team I shared a physical office with, but the company globally thanks to the virtual meetings. I see their faces more than I used to and am lucky enough to see their families and homes.

    1. Bostonian*

      I agree with the second part. My team has always had remote workers, but now that *everyone* is “remote”, we’re doing a lot more to stay connected, and it has allowed our team to get closer as a whole.

      I really hope that once we’re eventually back in the office that we still utilize the tools that keep us all connected.

  7. CatCat*

    Working 100% from home is not my jam. Maybe if I planned for it, had dedicated space for it, and didn’t live in an urban area, I would dig it. But because I don’t, I hate it. It’s getting harder to concentrate on work the longer this drags out for me for some reason.

    1. East Coast Girl*

      I am commenting with you in solidarity on this one. Very grateful to have a job that can be done from home right now, when so many people do not. And I thoroughly enjoyed the option to WFH one day per week pre-Covid. Those were incredibly productive days and felt like a treat.

      But I am now on week five full time WFH and have learned the valuable lesson that doing it 100% of the time isn’t for me. Focus and productivity, which are normally two big benefits to WFH, are hitting new lows.

      Also, partner works night shifts so I have a lot of alone time right now. I addressed the cat as “Mr. McSniffs” last night. Isolation may be getting to me…

      1. allathian*

        I hear you. The most I worked from home pre-COVID was 3 days in a row, and that was very rare. I usually worked from home about 2-5 days per month. I’m finding it much harder to focus on work now.

    2. AvonLady Barksdale*

      That’s the thing– I planned for it, budgeted for it, rented a particular space knowing I would be doing it. So I’m ok. But most people didn’t get a chance to do those things and it’s not exactly easy to make adjustments on the fly if, say, you live in a studio without space for a table. It drives me nuts when people are like, “Make sure you have a good desk chair!” and I’m all, “But the desk chair wasn’t in the budget, where should it come from?”

      1. CatCat*

        I have put in a request to be able to go into work to take the desk chair and foot rest from my office. My chair at home is fine for short-term sitting, but it’s getting intolerable sitting in it all day.

      2. Jackalope*

        Not to mention my issue which is that I can’t buy a chair online (funny height so I want to make sure that it’s the right size) and all the furniture stores are closed so how exactly am I supposed to obtain this mythological chair?

        1. MusicWithRocksIn*

          Yea, it’s not like we can go out browsing for a good chair right now. And its one of those things I would prefer to try out myself.

          1. Kat in VA*

            This is so me. I have a Serta office chair that, by all rights, should be incredibly comfortable. It’s leather and upholstered and padded and has adjustments and…I hate it. It’s so uncomfortable. Even in a 30m meeting, I’m shifting every few minutes because *this* way makes my back hurt and *that* way makes my butt hurt.

            I even bought a gel cushion from Amazon (and waited over 2 weeks for it to get here, because that’s how things are right now, and I’m OK with that) and the cushion improved things by…maybe 10%.

            Whatever office chair I buy when this is all over – for future WFH endeavors – will be one that my butt has personally sat in for at least ten minutes to make sure it’s good.

      3. Exhausted Trope*

        I am 100% WFH now and was pitifully unprepared. My old task chair thrifted eons ago was giving me all the pain. Couldn’t afford a decent desk chair. But I did find a gaming chair for under $100 on Amazon. And it has massage. So thankful for a chair that actually supports my back!

    3. Liz*

      Yes! I’ve never had any desire to WFH but was grateful if the weather was bad etc. i had the option to do so. I’m not in an urban area, but am still going a bit crazy, finding it hard to concentrate etc. I’m grateful i still have a job, and probably will, but its still tough.

    4. Jellyfish*

      Same! In theory, WFH sounds great. In practice, I’m at a card table set up in my bedroom, and my building isn’t well located to allow leisurely outside walks at lunchtime. Some days I do fine, and other days, my brain just isn’t firing.

    5. Ray Gillette*

      Having so many people in close proximity due to urban living is definitely making it harder for me to concentrate. My upstairs neighbor is sick and I can hear her coughing constantly, another neighbor has lost all sense of time and plays loud music at weird hours, and the homeowner next door is coping with the boredom by mowing his lawn four times a week – my window opens right into his yard, so I can’t have the window open when he’s mowing.

      1. JustaTech*

        So many of my neighbors have been doing yard work it’s amazing. I get that they’re probably bored/stressed, but it’s weird to all the sudden have everyone mowing and weed-whacking and whatnot.

        Probably also a spring thing, and I just haven’t been home to notice, too.

    6. chocoholic*

      I don’t care for it either. I’m sharing my dining room table with 2 teenagers who are doing online school, one of which needs a fair amount of oversight from me, else he’d be playing minecraft all day. Sigh.

      I’ve been going into my office every other Monday to process the payroll, and I have enjoyed getting out of the house for a day. This week I was there and there was no heat at the office so it was less enjoyable. I at least did have a space heater in my office that I was able to use, but every time I left to use the bathroom, it was like a 20 degree temperature drop.

      1. Kitrona*

        I just read a news article about how the next county over from me is handling school for the rest of the school year, and it’s brilliant. Elementary and middle school up to 8th grade is pass/fail, with no new material from yesterday on. High school students can take the grade they have at the end of this week, or they can bring their grade up by submitting more work. All grades are accepting work and redone homework through May 22, but the schools are effectively saying, “Ok, we know y’all are having trouble, and we are too, so you don’t have to stress any more.”

    7. Quill*

      Yeah, my brain feels like scrambled eggs most days.

      At least I’m still the champion of “beating excel into an obedient pulp.”

    8. Oxford Comma*

      In ordinary circumstances, I get to WFH at least once a week. I have a dedicated office. I live in an okay area.

      Normal WFH meant that I got to sleep in a little late because I had no commute. It meant that I could spend the day working with few interruptions on a couple of projects. It meant I could go to a coffee shop and work there. It might mean I got time to walk to a neighborhood restaurant and treat myself to a nice lunch. It meant I had some time to recharge and slog through work that was hard to do in the office because you need a way to focus.

      This is not normal WFH. This is hell. I’m just trying to make it less hellish.

    9. onebitcpu*

      I’ve been working from home since March 13.
      In the past few days I have started playing mythbusters on a screen beside me, just to break the quiet with something other than music.
      It’s not quite the background noise of the office, but it seems to help.

  8. Regina Phalange*

    Is it terrible that I have settled into this “new normal” and don’t seem to be experiencing the cabin fever that a lot of my colleagues are?

    1. Dasein9*

      Nope. Not terrible.

      I wanted to become a remote worker entirely, myself. One big reason was to have time for friends, not . . . this! Still, in many ways I’m thriving and that’s causing some guilt.

      1. French Pressed*

        My partner and I completely filled our ambitious emergency fund savings goal this month, and we’re both gainfully employed without serious concerns about job security. There’s a strange sense of guilt about feeling newly financially secure and happy about our money situation in a time like this – having grown up below the poverty line, I explained it to a friend in a similar situation as “poverty survivors guilt”

        1. Dasein9*

          YES! A few years ago, I experienced a career-destroying layoff. It really does create aftershocks years later.

        2. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

          Me as well. The stimulus that came in yesterday has finally pushed me over my goal.

          Of course, now is also the time when everything in my house has started breaking down and needing costly repairs/replacement. Hopefully I can still hang on to my emergency fund.

          1. French Pressed*

            The stimulus check is what bumped us up as well. We were on track to meet our goal last year but then our shared car broke down and we had to buy a new(to-us) one since we were in the middle of a protracted multi-state move and were shuttling belongings back and forth. A very stressful time. Buying a used car outright and moving impacted our savings quite a bit and I felt guilty about it (it was my job that moved us, and that move that broke down the car) but my partner very calmly reminded me that these were exactly the sort of situations we were saving for. If you’ve built yourself that net, don’t feel bad about having to use it!

        3. MA marketing assistant*

          Same here. I just got a new job in a secure industry and it pays 4x as much as I’ve been making. (It pays well, but not extravagantly, for what it is.) I love working from home. I feel secure in my job (essential industry) and I’m ready to pay off some debt and start investing while the stock market is down. I feel guilty about this optimism and I’ve been donating money to orgs but mostly directly to individuals in order to offset that, but by and large I’m doing quite well for the first time in my life.

          1. Curmudgeon in California*

            Yaay! Enjoy your successes. If someone does better for themselves, that means this sh!t-show isn’t all bad.

      3. Anax*

        Yeah, that’s where I’m at. I love working remotely, but being cooped up in my apartment for 8 weeks and counting… that’s what’s driving me a little batty. I really pine to be outdoors, seeing friends, maybe a museum – not the office, which can be fun but is exhausting for me at the best of times.

        Part is that I’m JUST getting over respiratory illness and an asthma flare, so I haven’t been able to go out at all, even for brief walks – folding laundry had me panting for air – and I still can’t wear masks, so things are… limited.

        I’m dying for some vitamin D.

    2. Midwest writer*

      I expected to feel a lot more cabin fever than I actually have. Most weekends, we were on the road, driving 2-3 hours to hit a museum, restaurants, Costco shopping, something like that. We haven’t done that in a month and I … have enjoyed the quiet times at my house way more than I anticipated.

    3. Bostonian*

      Nope. Everyone adjusts differently, and sometimes our feelings about it change over time- as I learned the hard way last week when I went from “everything is fine” to “I am losing my damn mind”. I’m a little jealous of your ability to feel “settled”, but I’m hopeful that I’ll get there soon.

      1. MayLou*

        I’ve also gone from “fine” to “losing my mind” a bit lately. At first it was great. No commute! More people wanting to socialise via video! Lots of introvert time! But I have very little work, I’m very aware that my colleagues are snowed under with work and are also trying to care for small children, and I’m not able to take some of their work off their hands for various reasons. So I’m bored and feeling guilty at being unproductive. And I’m lonely. I miss hugs. I can’t imagine how we are going to cope if this carries on for months (UK lockdown was just extended for another three weeks) but also can’tssee how we can stop any time soon.

        To be more practical, the things I’ve found helpful have been very granular to do lists to keep myself on task and motivated, using a coworking room (I use Complice but I’m sure there are others) and interspersing work-work with small achievable household tasks. Somehow having successfully vacuumed the hallway gets the ball rolling for me to also successfully make a work call or whatever. Otherwise I never get going in the morning and we reach lunchtime before I’ve done more than maybe an hour of actual work.

    4. French Pressed*

      I’ve never dreaded office life the way my full-time WFH partner did, but I have also discovered that I don’t really miss it all either. And I’m fortunate to live near urban greenspaces with hiking trails that I use every morning before people are out to get my daily fix of “out of the house” – so I’m in a similar boat. Aside from the general societal stress, I’m feeling fine about everything. No rush to go back to work personally, other than a worry for my colleagues who are getting furloughed until we do.

      1. JJG*

        I was typing out a reply and then saw this one which matched my own situation and feelings exactly. So +1 to French Pressed.

    5. londonedit*

      Not at all, I’ve mainly settled in too. I don’t have a partner or children living with me, so I guess some people would say I’m lucky not to be juggling childcare as well as work. I’ve been working from home for a full month now and it’s very easy for me to do so – I have a work laptop and it’s just like being in the office, except that I can’t print things and I’m not seeing my colleagues every day. So maybe I’m just lucky all round. I am finding it harder to fill my evenings and weekends – I’m really missing seeing my partner and my family and the thought of doing another three weeks at least (which the UK government is expected to announce today) is really hard. But in terms of working from home, no, I’m not getting cabin fever because of that.

      1. Quill*

        I was doing great until this week, when the fact that I’m not an introvert, I’m an extrovert with a fear of people, reared its ugly head.

        I’ve been fantasizing about driving cross country to borrow some cats off one of my oldest friends (She has a whole colony after adopting a pregnant stray and keeping the kittens.)

    6. Blueberry*

      It’s not like other people will suffer less if you’re unhappy as well. I’m glad this is working well for you! That’s the opposite of terrible!

      1. Trachea Aurelia Belaroth*

        This is a sentiment that would be helpful for me in normal times, when I’m dealing with anxiety. My brain tries to justify relaxing by making sure there’s nothing I SHOULD be worrying about–and of ourselves it always finds something. It takes a while to remind myself that worrying doesn’t solve anything. Do what you can, plan what you can, but then you have to just wait and see what happens.

        Weirdly, I’m more able to be philosophical right now than during anxiety periods, when there’s really something troubling happening.

    7. The Man, Becky Lynch*

      Lots of people thrive in remote settings.

      Just because a lot of the vocal crowd is saying they’re miserable, doesn’t mean anyone is terrible for not minding it and not having cabin fever.

      My only issue is that I don’t like being “told” much of anything. So being mandated to change is a different aspect to the psychological issue on my end. But I don’t regularly leave and can work from the moon if they told me to try it out.

      I’m different than a lot of people too in the sense that I don’t care where I am, city/area wise. I moved to follow my partner and the whole “Did you check out the city? Make sure you like it first!” advice was met with “Lol nah it’ll be fine.” and I just found whatever affordable apartment was available when I got my job offer, I didn’t bother checking the area out. Duncur.

      We’re all very different creatures and that’s a good thing :)

    8. KayDeeAye*

      I have also settled in much more easily than I expected. Pre-COVID-19, I rarely worked from home and when I did, I had some difficulty keeping focused. But now – maybe because I have to be focused? because if I’m not, I can’t tell myself “I’ll catch up when I get back to the office tomorrow”? – I am finding my focus to be very similar as it was when I was in an office 5 days/week.

      And I don’t miss the commute at ALL. That’s an hour and a half of my life that I’ve gotten back! I miss seeing coworkers (most of them, anyway :-) ), and I miss going out to lunch/dinner, and I miss a few other things, too. But you know, home is good.

      1. Elenna*

        SAME. I had a 1.5 hour commute each way (was planning on looking for a condo near my work before all this started), and I’m 100% delighted to have those three hours a day back.

        1. miho*

          SAME. When I was making that daily 3 hour (roundtrip) daily commute, I always sucked it up and told myself that’s just the way it is. Whenever coworkers talked to me about my awful commute, I would just force a smile and say it’s not that bad – I have time to read and do other things on the train.

          But man, now that I don’t have that commute anyway, it really is freeing! It’s incredible how much I love staying at home.

      2. londonedit*

        I think that’s it. I was freelance for a few years, and worked almost exclusively at home, and back then people would always ask me how I could manage it, didn’t I get distracted, wasn’t it tempting to just sit around in my pyjamas, etc. But it’s very different when working from home is your bread and butter. If I didn’t do the work, I didn’t earn any money, and strangely enough that was quite good as motivation! And it’s the same now – I have to work from home or I’ll lose my job and I won’t have any money.

    9. Amanda*

      No, you’re fine! Don’t feel guilty for being ok!

      I had a short adaption period, and now I’m pretty settled too and mostly comfortable in our new reality. Do I miss things? Sure, very much, but it doesn’t seem to affect my mental health as much as with some friends and coworkers.

    10. Elenna*

      Yeah, I’m… honestly fine? I felt a bit of cabin fever a couple weeks ago after about three weeks of not going out (I started self-isolating about 1.5 weeks before most people because of possibly being near a confirmed case, plus I’d been working from home for about a week before that for unrelated reasons) but I’ve started going jogging every few days and that’s gone away. Also I’m one of those people who’s like “quarantine? who cares, I never want to leave the house anyways” so that helps. Plus I’ve been super lucky in that almost everyone I care for is both physically and financially okay. And between work, craft projects, and youtube/twitch I haven’t been bored at all.

    11. AndersonDarling*

      I don’t want to go back to working in an office. I’m able to make better use of my time from home. I’m in a support role and WFH makes my colleagues really think before calling/emailing, so communications are more thoughtful and less time is being wasted spinning wheels.
      I’m loosing weight because I have more time to eat healthy, I get more sleep, my house is clean, and I’m less stressed.

    12. High School Teacher*

      I think it varies for everyone! My friend normally WFH’ed once a week, and she is THRIVING now. She hopes to go full-time WFH.

    13. Lora*

      Nope. I actually LOVE it and am much more productive.

      In the cursed Open Office, people decide they are free to interrupt and chat with the one woman in the office the live-long day. I spend a solid half my friggin day, every day I am in the actual office, listening to people talk about their personal lives as long as I can stand and then saying nicely, OK I need to go to a meeting / work on project deadline soooo… A significant part of my job consists of Being Approachable, and if I tell them politely, “sorry, I’m working on this and don’t have time to chat today” that is viewed as Rude (see: one woman in the whole office full of grumpy older men).

      Last time I had a huge project that needed all my attention and a couple of people (a contractor and an employee in another department whom I had previously helped a LOT with her job) approached me to chat about nothing much, and I replied, “Sorry I really don’t have time this week, I’m overloaded with this one project, so unless it’s about Project I just don’t have a minute to spare,” it did NOT go well. The contractor was pissy and walked across the building to find another woman to talk to, stood over her shoulder and stared at her for several minutes and made her generally uncomfortable, and eventually had to be told never to return to the site. The employee complained that I wasn’t helping her enough (I had been doing her ENTIRE JOB for weeks! She couldn’t answer ONE stupid client question by herself while I worked on a different project?!? Or asked one of the several men also working on her project?? The answer she needed was smack in the middle of the spreadsheet I’d made for her, highlighted in purple!) and I was rude to her and she filed an official complaint with HR and my boss that I was mean. So, I get scolded for not being Approachable if I don’t let people waste four hours of my day.

      Now there is a slight barrier to them pestering me. They have to IM me, of which a record is made, or otherwise put their requests in writing, and the time is officially noted and charged to their department. They cannot casually drop by for a quick chat and not get their budget dinged $200 for my time. They have to schedule a meeting if they want a significant portion of my time.

      I get so much more done. I have big blocks of uninterrupted time for coding, checking complex calculations, writing up formal reports…I get in the flow of the work much more easily and just churn it out. It’s GREAT. My boss was under the impression that it was only a few people who do this to me daily, and once I was off projects with those few people everything would be better – and now is learning that it is not just those couple of guys, it’s really so many people I have zero control over my time and it’s a serious impact on productivity and work quality.

      Best of all, our IT system had some sort of horrible automatic save/update thing that was interfering with the function of a $25,000/year software package I need to use every day. I literally could not use this software for YEARS even though we paid $25,000/year for the license, because they had this update thing that prevented file transfers and auto-saved all the time, causing the huge files to crash when the auto-save file location filled up with information, which took about 30 minutes. When I’m working from home, if I disable the VPN and don’t connect to the internet at all, I can run the software perfectly! I can’t disable the WiFi connection at work though, it throws some sort of security exception so I can’t disable my connection to the network unless I’m at home. I can finally use the software as it’s intended to work, and it doesn’t crash! Oh. My. God. It’s a game changer!

      1. mf*

        I’m glad your boss is finally coming to understand how little control you have over your time when you’re in the office. I hope you continue to talk to him/her about this. I’ve worked in a bunch of support roles and while it is important to be approachable, that’s not the same thing as being at everyone’s disposal 100% of the time. You need to be able to put boundaries around your time without being scolded by HR for it.

      2. Jackalope*

        I hope this will make your boss aware and willing to let you set boundaries when you’re back in the office, but if not…. Is there a way when you get back that you can document how much time people are wasting coming by to chat and how much time you’re spending getting the software to work? That might help make things more quantifiable for your boss (and if you start billing other depts for your time maybe they will visit less?).

        1. Lora*

          That’s the crazy-making part for me: I was documenting and showing him, look, it is seriously 4 hours per day every friggin day, this is untenable, I need more than one or two work-from-home days per week in order to do my job properly. And he didn’t believe me. He just somehow assumed I was fibbing or exaggerating and it just could not possibly be that bad, that it was just me making excuses for being a slacker or just not very good at my job – he normally sits in a different building from me, so he really never sees this for himself. We were just re-org’ed a few months ago so he didn’t really know me either, just got stuck with me. But now with the difference in work capacity and quality, and the IM records on MS Teams and Skype and Zoom meeting requests, he is starting to believe it.

          1. allathian*

            Maybe the enforced WFH will open his eyes and you’ll be able to 100% WFH permanently since you’re so much more productive? You can only ask.

    14. I Wrote This in the Bathroom*

      I’m fine too (other than being terrified of going outside I guess). Heck, this lockdown/SIP might’ve ruined me for office jobs forever. I will be looking for a remote job (and likely not finding one) for the rest of my career.

      Like one of the commenters above, I used to go out, get together with friends, go to cultural events, meetup events, parties etc, a lot, and oddly I don’t miss that. I am starting to feel that there was a lot of fluff in my life (in form of both people and events that I attended) that was getting in the way of me doing the things, and interacting with the people, that mattered. I see a lot of decluttering in my post-covid future. A lot of social contacts and obligations will need to go, for they do not spark joy.

    16. Ama*

      I realized last night that this is the fourth consecutive March/April I have had to deal with some kind of extra complicating factor, either personally or professionally (some years, both) so in just my day-to-day this is not really much different than my last three springs where I just have to suddenly scramble in the face of an unexpected obstacle. In fact it might be a little easier because I can work from home AND everyone else is also dealing with this, as in previous years the issues were often something only me or only my small department were dealing with.

      And I am definitely going to have to talk with my boss about the possibility of taking more regular work from home days (by coincidence I was actually seriously thinking about it before all this happened, but was waiting to get past what turned out to be the last work trip I will take for the foreseeable future).

    17. RabbitRabbit*

      I don’t think so. I’m fine. Though I feel bad – I’m kind of itching for my husband to get his self-quarantine over so I can have my solo workspace back again … but then he has to go back to the office and risk more exposure. So, I’m not too fond of that part.

    18. periwinkle*

      It’s weird. I’ve been telecommuting 90% of the time for nearly two years so 100% isn’t a big change. My team is experienced at virtual meetings because we’re scattered across multiple facilities and time zones. I have a dedicated home office. I’m an introvert who is perfectly happy being alone for large chunks of time.

      I am nevertheless approaching cabin fever mode. The difference could be that my current isolation isn’t voluntary? It doesn’t help that I was supposed to fly off on vacation this weekend – down to LA to spend a day riding roller coasters and then onto a cruise ship to relax on my balcony and sip cocktails with juvenile names.

    19. Aquawoman*

      While I miss some stuff about the office, there have been some real upsides for me in WFH full time. I realize just how much of an accumulation of minor stressors I have. I’m an introvert and I have sensory processing disorder, and it’s just been nice not to be pecked to death by sensory ducks all day (e.g. bras–those MFs are uncomfortable! I just sort of squish that into background noise on a daily basis but when there are 12 such things every day, it adds up and not having that is nice).

    20. alienor*

      I don’t miss the office at all and would be fine working from home forever. I don’t miss socializing either–even before all this, I was pretty content to mostly chat with friends online and just meet up for an occasional face-to-face coffee or lunch. What I *do* miss, a lot, is doing things like shopping, enjoying the local beaches and parks (all closed at the moment), going to plays and museums, etc., and especially being able to travel. The one time I’ve felt really trapped and on the verge of a panic attack was when I tried looking at photos of past trips and realized that I might never be able to travel again, or at least not for several years.

    21. Kate H*

      Nope, not weird. I’ve considered and wished to work remotely from home for a while, and it’s actually exceeding my expectations. I love not having a commute, eating lunch at home, having my cats sleep next to me while I’m at my desk, and not having the distractions of a loud, open-plan office. In terms of cabin fever, I didn’t get out a ton previously so I’m coping with it better than many.

    22. Nozen*

      Not terrible at all, in fact I’m glad to see I’m not alone. It seems like all the articles and conversations are about dealing with social isolation, going stir crazy etc and I’m over here just living my life. I feel guilty that my friends, family and coworkers are having difficulties with the transition. I was joking the other day that it probably says something about my lifestyle that not leaving my house or seeing other people isn’t that big an adjustment.

    23. Niniel*

      Nope, not at all!! My one and only complaint in all of this is that I am mostly caught up on work, and I have low motivation for the few things that I have to do. If I could knock them out and be “on call” and do whatever the rest of the time, I’d be golden.

    24. Mama Bear*

      Not at all. I used to WFH and I miss it on some level. Some people are just suited for it.

    25. MistOrMister*

      I sure hope not, because this is me as well. I am nore productive both with the remote work and around my house now. I’m still lazy and low energy but somehow the being at home so much is helpful for me. I miss the ability to just run to any store I want if the whim hits, but really don”t have a lot I would need to be going to anywhere that’s closed for anyway.

    26. Telly Lace*

      I’m with you. While I’m definitely experiencing a lot of anxiety and fear, the working from home and mostly staying home doesn’t bother me that much. I was kind of a homebody anyway. Granted, I walk my dog three times a day and where I live I am still allowed to go running outside by myself, which I do 2-3 times a week, so I am still getting some nice time outside, where I know a lot of people are not lucky enough to be able to do that.

    27. Peachkins*

      I feel the same. My husband and I are total introverts and it’s actually been really nice not to have to worry about outside obligations. I do at least have my full-time job to pass a lot of the time, so that probably helps. Really though, other than the occasional urge to just go outside, I’ve been doing pretty well!

    28. Curmudgeon in California*

      Nope, not terrible. I don’t have cabin fever, and I like working from home.

      But my roomie does have cabin fever and she’s driving me nuts with it, which, coupled with the existential doom that this whole sh!t-show has caused, means that I’m just not working up to snuff. I feel guilty about it, because other than the roomie with the sugar foot, I’m doing fine.

    29. nep*

      Not terrible. There will be as many reactions/realities as there are humans dealing with the current situation.

    30. Senior Montoya*

      No, not terrible. People deal w adversity differently, sometimes because of previous experience and sometimes just because of temperament. And of course sometimes because of good fortune.

    31. Jean*

      If it’s terrible, then I’m terrible too. I like being by myself at home. I’m working from home and my job duties haven’t changed, just the place I’m doing them. I like being able to go out in the middle of the day for a walk, get up and do little chores throughout the day, have my “murder shows” (Dateline etc) on in the background, and pet my cats. (I have my son every other week, and we’re having to do online school during those weeks, but we have our own nice little routine for that too.)

      I miss going out, sometimes. But I’m not having a hard time with social distancing. Not at all.

  9. new kid*

    Monday’s post about not always working while “on the clock” right now is something I’m really struggling with too, but to an even more heightened degree. I’m on a long term project team where the only “real” deadlines (aside from interim milestones I set for myself) are currently years away. (In case it helps with context, think something like writing an instruction manual for a complex product as it’s being built but that’s still years away from release to customers.) Complicating things even further, I haven’t had a manager since the beginning of the year due to some org restructuring. I’m of course still beholden to the rest of my project team and we have a really great/supportive dynamic so I’m very conscientious to engage on every call with them and to deliver quality work on anything that’s directly requested of me, but there’s literally zero external pressure to do any work beyond that and my usually high internal motivation is completely shot.

    Is there anyway for me to turn this around and figure out how on earth I used to be able to focus for more than a few minutes at a time? I feel like I’m taking complete advantage of my situation, but I just cannot seem to make myself sit down and do work that I know no one particularly cares about or is looking for right this moment.

    1. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      When I face this kind of feeling, I up my external motivation. I set timers and tell myself if I work until it goes off, I can take a break and make some tea. I time myself doing things I need to do repeatedly (in my case, writing report cards for several hundred students) and track my running average and try to bring the the time down. I chunk my work into pieces, line up a bunch of blueberries or almonds, and eat one after completing each piece. It feels silly but it keeps me going.

      Also, headphones with ambient music or rain noise help with keeping away distractions, even when I’m already in a quiet place.

      1. new kid*

        I really like your blueberry/almond trick, actually! I think that’s the kind of simple ‘gamification’ that I would probably respond well to and my current work is parceled out in a way that would fit into something like that.

        Thanks for all the suggestions.

        1. MayLou*

          You might like Complice, which can be integrated with Workflowy for an even more powerful project management tool (that might not be the right term).

          When I was studying I found that always having listed the next step on every part of a project or piece of work was really helpful. Not an overwhelming list of everything that needed doing, and not a nebulous “make progress on this” but a specific next action. It made transitioning between tasks smoother and reduced the amount of time wasted in analysis paralysis.

      2. Amanda*

        For me, the TV actually helped me focus. I think having actual voices on the background helps me think I’m still in the office.

        1. Quill*

          Yeah, my youtube rabbit hole of “people cheerfully doing things” has gotten really deep.

    2. eshrai*

      I have the same problem really. Working on training that may or may not see the time of day, with no real guidance. I find my attention wandering more than usual. My manager has given us leave to spend our time on “professional development” as well. Think watching webinars to build skills usable in this job, or reading leadership prep books, etc. Would you be able to do some things like that, but related to your field? I really thrive on learning new skills so I have spent some of this time learning new technical skills that could be used in future projects. I plan on doing more of that today – watching Adobe tutorials and practicing.

      1. new kid*

        Yeah, whenever I had a day I was feeling less focused in the office, webinars were definitely a go to for me, especially since I’ve been using a new (to me) software and teaching myself as I go along. There’s something about being at home now though that I’m struggling to even be productive in that way. But I really appreciate the suggestion.

    3. So long and thanks for all the fish*

      I’m feeling this way too. I’m a scientist and am supposed to be writing a paper, but we didn’t get all the answers we need to publish (we have maybe half of the work done) and my PI told me to write up what we have, which I did, and when we discussed it in our last zoom meeting, we decided to wildly speculate (within reason) some answers. So i’m sitting here with instructions to speculate wildly speculate, with no motivation to do so, while my dog whines at me to play. Sometimes I give in with the hope that it’ll make my subconscious work, which has mixed results. Other times I bake something, because it feels somewhat like being in the lab. I wish I could focus.

      1. new kid*

        Yeah, that’s exactly it. Sometimes I can make myself do other things around the house (I’m moving at the end of the month, so packing mostly) that make me feel momentarily productive, but then I can’t get that energy focused back on work stuff.

      2. Eukomos*

        Set a timer, work on the article for fifteen minutes. If you make it, great, you accomplished your goal! You can keep working if you want to, which you may at that point because it’s always the starting that’s the hard part. If you don’t want to keep working after fifteen minutes are up then that’s fine, you accomplished your goal, go read some other articles you’ve been meaning to get to or apply to a grant or answer email or whatever else it is that’s on your plate, that still counts as productive. Eventually you’ll probably want to ramp up your initial goal past fifteen minutes but don’t push it, the trick only works if the initial goal is genuinely easy to achieve.

    4. limpet1*

      I’ve reealllly struggled with this but I’ve found setting 15 or 20 minute timers has been a massive help. I work for the 15 mins, no opening up ask a manager, checking my phone or the death count, getting water etc. for that time. Then I get 5 mins to walk around, read whatever I like (not make a snack or i’d be obese) before settling back down again. It really really works for me, i’ve basically got all my work done in half the time.

    5. SophieChote*

      I have the same issue on some of my big research projects for marketing/products that will probably be put on hold/never made now.

      ….especially when I finish my day-to-day stuff and all I have left are these projects with both no end and lots of work…hard to keep focued

      I understand.

      And following to see what others suggest

    6. Hydrangea McDuff*

      Doing short timers/pomodoro method works well for me.

      It also sounds like you don’t have as much to do as usual. Can you pick a skill you’ve always wanted to work on (even tangentially work-related) and do some professional development? If you’re on linked in you have access to lots of work type classes and tutorials. :)

    7. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      I struggle with being motivated to get stuff done even before the enforced WFH (and I struggle with it on personal projects as well)… it’s like I lack any kind of internal motivation or discipline a lot of the time. Not good. When there’s an imminent deadline with a “drop dead date” I will meet it; when there’s a problem I will go straight in there and solve all the things… but ultimately I find I prefer ‘longer term’ work as I got burned out over a period of years with “putting out fires” and I firmly believe there’s only a certain quota of that (varying from person to person) that you can take.

      So what I’ve tried to do is impose a structure on myself to make sure it gets done. At work I make a list of 3 things I have to complete that day and physically write it out (I’m old-skool in some ways despite working in ‘Tech’ so I have a glass whiteboard next to my desk, but it also works electronically) and commit to myself that I will do these things and then will do X (some treat) after I complete each one.

      It may be hypocritical advice since I struggle with it myself, but ultimately a “long term project” is just a series of “short term deliverables” each with their own timeline (which may not be a ‘drop dead date’ but just an internal milestone or not even have a specific date) and as such meeting the overall project goal is really just the accumulation of a series of sub-goals… as mundane as they are.

      For what it’s worth I think “being able to focus for more than a few minutes” and “no external pressure to do work so I don’t” are sort of orthogonal.

      1. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

        Oh and I forgot to add – my internal monologue goes something like: “there are X hours/days before you need to report back with a deliverable on the Y project, so why don’t you just slack off for a bit and then do the Y in the half hour before it’s due as you know you have been able to do before”….

    8. same boat*

      Yes to all of this! Started a new job a week after the UK went into lockdown and it’s been a *challenge*; never worked from home before, no solid deadlines, training is all self-guided and everyone else is coping with backlogs of emails and meetings so hearing back to clarify something takes a long time. Plus, my last team was so tiny and every task was made TOP PRIORITY so there’s an ingrained sense of needing to be busy at all times.

      Work right now is like zoning out in a meeting and trying desperately to concentrate… and then realising that you’re putting more effort into looking like you’re paying attention than actually paying attention.

      Do you have a desk-based task or hobby you could have on hand for when you zone out of work stuff? So instead of letting your concentration go entirely, you switch it over to something more enjoyable you can put down when you’re ready to work again. Even in the most basic sense, you’re still accomplishing something so you don’t end each day feeling defeated. It might not be the most ‘work-friendly’ advice, but it’s not really business as normal no

  10. The Cosmic Avenger*

    I’m finding that video chats are keeping me sane. But then, I’m a (low-energy) extrovert. When I was in the office, I would chat every day with at least 3 or 4 people face-to-face, talking about our families and our weekends and such. If you have MS Teams or Skype, offer to check in with coworkers via video chat. Even if you don’t feel the need, some of them might.

    Overall, I’m a bit worried about our collective future, but on a personal level, despite feeling isolated, I’ve worked from home before, just not 40 hours/5 days a week, so this is not as big of an adjustment for me. We’re going through a big transition at work, but we knew that was coming for months, it’s unrelated to the current crisis. It is a bit weirder now, but isn’t everything?

    1. A. Ham*

      yes to the video chats. It’s funny- when all this started we scheduled a daily department meeting via teams, and at the time we REALLY needed it because so much was changing on a daily basis and we needed to check in and get the new info- it was critical to our work. Now, weeks later, things have leveled out a little, and under normal circumstances it might be considered unnecessary to still have daily morning meetings but no one feels compelled to cancel them because everyone just likes seeing faces in the morning and checking in. They may only bee 10 minutes long on most days, but it is still helpful.

      1. The Cosmic Avenger*

        Yeah, we started a manager’s check-in call that we didn’t have before, as much to make sure everyone is doing OK as anything else. And the managers are of course keeping in touch with their direct reports.

    2. CupcakeCounter*

      I feel bad for everyone who calls me because I am TERRIBLE at letting them hang up. I basically turn into a golden retriever. Oh look…people! Pay attention to me! No don’t leave! I have stories to tell!

      Only saving grace so far is I can sing along out loud to the music I have going constantly.

      1. The Cosmic Avenger*

        I had a non-work video chat with a bunch of people from high school, and it went over 3 hours! Some of them are people I see a few times a year and interact/talk with almost every day, but some I hadn’t seen or talked to in decades. It was good to see/hear/talk to all of them, and yes, apparently us extroverts had a pent-up need for more conversation!

        I’m thinking about posting a video meeting link in the open thread now, just for anyone who needs to talk.

        1. Quill*

          I’m usually the introvert herder and right now I’m trying to drop all of them into one video call to play werewolf.

    3. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      As an extrovert myself I chat to more than 3-4 people a day, and we as a company have tried to replicate the F2F aspect (now we’re enforced WFH) with some “social” chat areas in our messaging app… which I do participate in, but I’m conscious that productivity is being monitored so don’t want to be perceived as ‘that guy (girl)’ who is always chatting and slacking off rather than doing actual productive work.

      I’m finding that people are more willing to share information about their personal lives than they would have in the office. I’m not sure if it’s a curse or a blessing? I haven’t seen anything noteworthy (spouse taking their clothes off for a shower not realising they are on camera, or whatever) but have heard the mundane day-to-day interactions like people’s partner bringing them coffee in the morning and it sort of puts names to faces like they always talked about their partner Sally (or whoever) but now we actually have seen Sally on camera!

      Also I am finding that compared to F2F meetings, the more introverted members of the team seem far more forthcoming / assertive over text chat than they are when we are all working in-person as a group… and it turns out that they don’t necessarily say much but when they do say something, it is actually significant and interesting! (and correct!)

  11. Elizabeth the Ginger*

    The school I teach at just made he official announcement (which was clearly coming) that we’re not returning to campus for the rest of the school year. Which I know will hit me with a bunch of moments of grief as we miss various traditions and milestones, but at the moment it just gives me a feeling of relief to have certainty. Now that I know what I’m up against, I can plan out what distance learning can look like for my curriculum. It also helps that I’ve mostly made peace by now with the fact that it will look very, very different – and it REALLY helps that my administration gets that, too.

    1. urban teacher*

      I just started with distance learning and learned that none of my special education students seem to have access. I’m only getting a few comments from parents so I have no idea if anyone sees anything.I wish my administration would realize that.

  12. Midwest writer*

    I cut back my hours about three weeks ago, when I realized I was going to be home with my three kids (8, 6 and 2). Previously I worked at home two days a week; my boss and I agreed it would be OK for me to WFH every day, for 25 hours a week instead of 40, temporarily. It was my suggestion, because I knew I wouldn’t be as productive at home with three kids who needed help with school, getting meals, etc. My husband is a teacher, so he was still getting paid and also working from home and taking a master’s level class relating to his teaching license. We swap on and off to make sure each of us has the time we need to get stuff done, and I’ve been getting up at 5 a.m. to do some writing and emailing before my kids wake up. Since the weather has turned to crap again (hello, 20 degrees and snow), my kids have been stuck inside more than usual, which makes it hard for them to go to sleep at night, which makes for VERY LONG DAYS.
    Monday, my boss called and told me she may have to bump me back to full-time, so that her paycheck protection loan stays as a grant instead of a loan. I get it, but I don’t have 40 hours of stuff to do right now for work (smaller newspapers than usual, no events to go cover) and I do have lots of hours of taking care of my kids ahead of me. I know it’s the epitome of a privilege problem, but I’m just tired and mentally exhausted from the whole thing.

    1. Miriam*

      Maybe your boss should pay you for 40 hours regardless of what you are able to get done, as an act of generosity as well as a way of helping themselves with the loan/grand situation. It seems like it would be a win-win, right?

      1. Midwest writer*

        I think that’s part of my issue. I’m salary, she doesn’t work in our location, she trusts me to put in however many hours to get the job done. So if she bumps me up to 40, I’m going to feel like I need to sit at a computer for 40 hours (or close to it) … when that’s not actually been how my job normally goes. Part of it is that I have to do quite a bit of driving to locations for meetings/covering events during normal times and almost all of that driving is gone. So there’s at least 5 hours of a normal week that I’m not doing. I’m going to feel guilty that I can’t fill those hours, but also feel guilty if I step away from the computer to help/play with my kids, even if I’m still available if my phone rings.

        1. LDN Layabout*

          Part of being salaried is being there to cover workload, not fully set hours.

          I’m sure at necessary times you probably worked more than 40. Your current workload doesn’t need 40 hours. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty over.

          1. Midwest writer*

            Fair point. I appreciate you reminding me of that.
            Our busiest season is usually in the summer — there are fairs and festivals most weekends that I need to get pics of, and that comes on the heels of graduation, which is also a busy time for the paper. And now … those are getting canceled and postponed. It’s going to be the quietest summer for me in years. I’m looking forward to it, in many ways.

            1. HiringMgr2*

              Absolutely agree. My team is salaried and I am not expecting them to log 40-hours weekly right now. I’m expecting them to get their work done and balance their working hours with their home/family needs – which will look different every single day. I am not at all concerned with making sure they are actually working 40-hours a week. In fact, I’m quite certain most are not. Heck, I’m not. As long the work is getting done that needs to get done… all is good. Don’t feel guilty!!

              Fellow parent here … and I’m losing my mind with homeschooling. It’s HARD.

              1. Midwest writer*

                It is so hard. And our school stuff isn’t even mandatory. My son’s kindergarten teacher is AMAZING. My older son’s teacher is … older and not so into Facebook and Zoom, but it’s OK because my husband has my oldest for a special class anyway, so my husband has some good insights there. I feel lucky that we can pretty much make them read, do some math and writing and call it good. Grading it would make it MUCH more stressful.

          2. Elizabeth the Ginger*

            And even if you were in the office for 40 hours a week, you wouldn’t be solidly working for 40 hours. You’d take bathroom and coffee breaks, chat with a coworker, etc.

            1. Midwest writer*

              Absolutely true … but I’m not killing 10 to 15 hours every week with nothing to do. (Well, some weeks. But not most weeks.) And it feels work-ish to talk with co-workers, less so to jump on the trampoline with my kids.

          3. GRA*

            This is a really good point. Thank you!! I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt of not always having 40 hours of work to do, while still getting all my work done. I know when we go back to the office, I’ll be back to 40+ hours a week. I’ve been good about giving others a lot of grace right now, but it’s hard to do for myself.

        2. CL Cox*

          A lot of meetings are bing held virtually, so you can still attend them from home. I think they’re also often recorded, so maybe you could watch them during a time when your kids are doing schoolwork, rather than when they are initially streaming. You can conduct emaqil interviews, which give you the flexibility of working on them when you can work around everyone else’s schedule. One thing I’ve also done is keep my work email open on my computer and turn on my speakers and notifications. That way, I can hear when an email comes in but still be working on other things.

          1. Midwest writer*

            I do attend meetings virtually, which has been awesome. I’m saving hours of drive time (two or three meetings most weeks, usually 30 minutes each way driving), which is awesome. I do lots of email interviews and I get up early to write, when there are fewer distractions. I get my email on my phone, so I’m never missing it … I just … feel like if I’m on 40, I should be busy at least 30 or more, and that’s just not super likely when working from home and when so much stuff is canceled. My feature story game is on point lately, though.

            1. Diahann Carroll*

              My feature story game is on point lately, though.

              Then that’s all that matters right now. You’re getting done the work you do have, so don’t worry about filling up 40 hours, especially since your boss knows you asked for a reduced schedule not only to look after your kids, but also because you knew work would be slow. Trust me – she knows it too. She just needs you to be on call for the 40 in case something comes up and so she can get her grant.

    2. Quinalla*

      Be up front with her IMO, tell her you will realistically only be able to do 30-35 hours of work, but you’ll be available for phone/email the normal 40. This is a unique time, I’d just be up front so that way you don’t have to feel bad about it. I know I’ve been up front with my boss that I can’t work 45-50 hours like I normally do, I don’t have the bandwidth right now, so I have been getting 40 and calling it good enough. I also am not nearly as focused during those 40, none of us are, but I’ve had to let that go too.

      1. Midwest writer*

        I feel like I should add in that she’s been AWESOME and super encouraging through all of this. She’s going to tell me to take care of the kids first and the rest will sort itself out. It’s just the issues in my head getting me down.
        On the other hand, I just read that the fund for small business loans has already run out of money, so who knows if she’ll even get the grant. I really want her to get it! She’s a good boss and has about a dozen employees who could really use the continued income through all of this.

  13. TiredofThis*

    I’ve been out of work since March 17th. We were lucky enough to be fully paid through the end of March and then furloughed starting April 1. I’m in a lucky financial position where, with unemployment, my tax returns, and the stimulus check, I don’t have to worry about housing or food. But I feel so lonely as most people I know are continuing to work remotely. It’s been increasingly difficult to not feel like I have a purposeless existence.

    1. Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws*

      I’m sorry you’re in this position. I know this is easier said than felt, but I assure you that your existence is not purposeless. You’re not defined by your career (or lack thereof) – none of us are – but I understand that the loneliness is real, especially under these circumstances. I hope you’re able to find some solace until life goes back to normal (or new normal).

    2. Pinkie Pie Works Hard*

      I’m in a bit of the opposite situation in which I live in a house of artists and performers and I’ve still got my day job. Our hours have become so disconnected from each other, and our specific experiences of what’s hard are very different (I’m on 6 AM conf calls each day; they’re watching movies in our common room at 2 AM). I’ve got friends who are furloughed and bored; I’ve got work colleagues who are overwhelmed and stressed. One of the best things we’ve done in any of it is just try to find small points of completely non-work-related connection as much as possible. Your friends who are adjusting to a new work reality might appreciate the opportunity to disconnect and talk directly to you about something interesting. And honestly, checking in on folks, or being vulnerable enough to ask for a check-in is its own purpose at this moment in time.

    3. RobotWithHumanHair*

      I feel you. I was furloughed last week and I don’t think I realized how much of my mental stability was tied to having working and feeling like I had a purpose throughout the week. It…hasn’t been easy.

  14. eshrai*

    I have been home working for the last month and there are good and bad days. I am having a very hard time focusing, even more so than usual, even when it is quiet with no interruptions. I was sick for the first two weeks, possibly coronavirus, probably not. Still have to use an emergency inhaler if i walk around the block. Being sick means I really haven’t been out of the house much. I have taken to riding in the car with my roommate when she does custody switches with her kids as my only means of escaping the house! We usually pick up a coffee too (from a drive through of course).

    It has been a hard adjustment with three kids in the house and homeschooling. I feel lucky I have a roommate here who is furloughed and is watching the kids while I work, and then I feel guilty that I am not more focused on my work. I am also still taking night classes to advance my career and struggling with all of it. But all in all I think my family unit here is coping well. My significant other still goes in to work so I am glad we are not trying to work from home in the same room. Kudos to all of you out there making that dynamic work!

  15. Kiwi*

    The stress is ruining my sleep schedule and what rest I do get is interrupted by really weird and unsettling dreams. It’s killing my focus and productivity and it’s bad timing because we’re still crazy busy.

    1. new kid*

      I wish I had advice for you, but all I can do is commiserate because my sleep schedule is totally off the rails right now and I’m having unsettling dreams as well. I couldn’t fall asleep until well after midnight last night (very late for me) and then woke up around 5 am this morning. I’m already anticipating the crash that’s inevitably coming this afternoon.

    2. Lizzy May*

      I can relate to this. I’m having such weird dreams and I wake up exhausted. Then I struggle all day to focus on work just to collapse into bed and do it all over again. I’ve taken two long weekends since late February just to try to clear my head and get my sleeping back in order and it works for a while and then the weird dreams start again.

    3. Grits McGee*

      If I don’t dose myself with melatonin, I don’t fall asleep until 4am. I’m hoping it’s a result of my routine being out of whack, and not a stealth return of the extreme psychosomatic insomnia that I had in my 20s. wish I could give you solutions instead of just sympathy and commiseration.

    4. Quinalla*

      Exercising daily (I take a break on the weekend) has helped me the most with this, but I have to do it right when I wake up or I won’t do it as I’m too exhausted later in the day. Getting outside as much as possible has helped too. My sleep is still not what it should be, but its hard with all this anxiety. I hope it gets better for you!

    5. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      Can you speak (remotely, I presume) to your doctor? Seems like you may have an incipient case of anxiety here.

    6. nep*

      Sorry you’re struggling with that. Same here re: sleep. Lack of sleep is like a poison. Hope it gets better for you.

  16. queen b*

    I am struggling because before COVID hit, I wanted to get a new job. That feeling hasn’t gone away, and now companies are not really hiring anymore. I’ve even thought about quitting but then I wouldn’t be eligible for unemployment. Sigh.

    1. Brett*

      It is very dependent on the industry, but some industries are scrambling to hire lots of new people right now. Hiring is slower because so many companies do not know _how_ to hire right now, but there are still jobs to be found.
      Even better, a lot more companies are going to be open to remote work now, so you can greatly expand your search geographically.

        1. fposte*

          Food supply, medical manufacturing, etc. A lot seem to be hiring at the corporate level as well as the hands-on, too.

          1. Diahann Carroll*

            Yup – my brother just had two interviews last week with Pepsi and P&G for corporate-level positions (I’m praying he gets one of these jobs so he can leave his CO position at a prison).

          1. nep*

            Too risky to be worth it. I salute those on these particular front lines.
            If I lived alone I’d continue Shipting while continuing my job search, but I live w a high-risk person.

        3. Brett*

          Agriculture and logistics need a lot more people right now too.
          I suspect there will be a big wave of hiring for automation companies as well.

        4. Diahann Carroll*

          Some software companies are still hiring, though the one I work for stopped a couple of weeks ago to preserve our cash reserves while revenues are down.

        5. I'm A Little Teapot*

          Maybe not scrambling, but accounting/finance and audit roles are still active, unless the company paused everything.

      2. Jedi Squirrel*

        Yes, this! It’s complicated right now, but companies are still hiring. Just gotta put yourself out there!

        1. queen b*

          thanks, everyone! I work in software, so I’ll have to be more diligent in my searches. hopefully something pops up soon!

          1. Goo*

            Not sure what kind of software you handle, but I know several grocery distributors are clamoring for software development to help them manage this insane influx of demand!

          2. software developer*

            Software companies are hiring, even if most of the company has a hiring freeze. The company I work for has a hiring freeze due to general uncertainty but certain divisions are still hiring.

    2. JF*

      I am in this boat – I’ve pretty much stopped looking since I think jumping ship would be a bad idea, but it hasn’t changed the reasons at my current job that I wanted to leave in the first place. I feel lucky to still be employed but that doesn’t make me happier about it.

    3. landertoo*

      Same. May was the month I was going to start actively applying to other jobs, and now I don’t know when that will happen, and it is a bummer!

      I don’t think I’d be comfortable leaving my current team in the lurch during the crisis (right now I work at an essential organization, and I know they don’t have the bandwidth to fill a staffing hole.) And it’s also just hard to walk away from a secure WFH gig during isolation. So I’ll stay until things cool down a bit.

      But I’m hitting up LinkedIn multiple times a day to fantasize about leaving, anyway. I’m so unhappy in this position! Which to be clear is a thousand times better than being fired/laid off, or god forbid getting COVID-19 because I’m forced to work in poor conditions, but still….

  17. A Teacher*

    I’m working more than I ever do when I’m in my classroom. Three hours of emails to parents yesterday and 6 hours of online grading. Not to mention 4 hours of live teaching/curriculum. I’m not sleeping well and I’m exhausted.

    1. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      Fellow teacher here. I am really disliking reviewing student work online. It doesn’t feel as “real” to me as my piles of paper, and it feels harder to keep track of the big picture of a student’s work.

      1. Mama Bear*

        I’m sure it doesn’t help that while you could eyeball a paper and recognize Timmy’s handwriting, you can’t do that online and if someone sent you a random file that didn’t follow your instructions…One of my kid’s teachers recorded a lesson with bad hair and her family wandering through in the background. I had to smile, though, because that’s a lot of people’s reality right now. My kid’s been getting lots of practice in writing a good “business email” and being patient and understanding. I know teachers have a lot on their plates.

    2. Gallery Mouse*

      My teacher friends have said the same thing! They are working more than ever before.
      Thank you for educating!!! I cant imagine how crazy it is right now with schools not re-opening for the remainder of the school year :(

      1. HiringMgr2*

        Seriously… GOD BLESS TEACHERS. My kid’s teacher is working her butt off right now and is doing such an amazing job. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is to translate in-school to distance learning. Especially with kids of all ages (as in, not adults).
        Thank you for all you do!!!!

    3. EBennett*

      I agree that online teaching is definitely more work. Is there any way to cut back on how much you grade? Our beloved principal basically just ordered us to only grade every other assignment because she is worried about our mental and physical health.
      The oft-repeated maxim is so true “put on your own oxygen mask first.” You cannot take care of your students if you don’t take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself.
      I also know it is easier said than done and I need to take my own advice.

      1. A Teacher*

        No, because 3 of my sections are dual credit and I adjunct for a junior college for my second job. Some of it is set, trust me I’ve cut back as much as I can on giving stuff. One section of dual credit will not have tests the rest of the semester–I’m doing projects instead and some of them are fun that they like (as they tell me-ie making food or baking something). For my non DC courses, we are only to count assignments if they help the grade-but I still have to meet with them and be available in 2 hours blocks of time 1-2 times a week. I’m not complaining, my admin is supportive and I haven’t had a lot of issues with parents for the most part, its just exhausting. It also sucks because I miss my classroom and the banter with my kids. I have a facility dog that I take to work daily and she’s almost depressed because she can’t “go to work.” I like that I’m learning new technology and my classroom will be more of a hybrid next year with MS Teams but the set up when we had no training and very little prep is a lot.

    4. Brett*

      I did a considerable amount of online teaching as a grad student, and the workload for online teaching versus in-person (especially for the lab classes I was doing) was vastly different. The online classes were easily 2x to 3x the workload of the in-person classes, and that was even with me writing new labs for the in-person class.
      Local governments are struggling for funding right now, but from an outside perspective it looks like we have to hire more teachers (a lot more) if we end up having another year of online classes.

      1. A Teacher*

        I think one of the positives I’m seeing is that a lot of those same critics of teachers because “they went to school once” are now realizing it isn’t so easy to teach. Teaching, like any profession, isn’t for everyone. I couldn’t be an engineer or in HR or a welder. I switched professions from athletic training to teaching and this online stuff after 10 years of teaching is a whole new ballgame.

    5. Humble Schoolmarm*

      When we first started, I was encouraged by how reasonable the workload seemed (1 hr office hours per day, don’t assign too much so that the kids don’t have to do school more than 2 hrs per day). What I didn’t expect, was how much of my time was going to go to answering emails. I was aware that I spent a lot of time in the classroom with my kids who are really capable but need to check that they’re doing everything perfectly right before they tackle any question or work, but I didn’t think about how demanding it would be in a virtual classroom. Right now I feel like 80% of my work day is emailing with 2 students. I don’t want to give them the brush off, because they’re anxious kids and this is an anxious time for everybody, but I’m really struggling to figure out how to reassure them AND mark AND prepare new material AND go to meetings (just raised from 1 to 3 per week) AND provide a whole new set of work for a kid who’s struggling.

      I’m delighted to have a stable job and I’m thrilled that my kids are hanging in there, but it’s a lot at the moment.

      1. A Teacher*

        Totally agree. Plus learning new technology. I didn’t know MS Teams or Screen cast o matic at all and the junior college is using Zoom. Its not just the teaching and prep, its all the other stuff and learning new technology on the fly and making classroom hands on stuff virtual–plus trying to engage the kids so you aren’t just talking at the screen.

        We are still required to meet in PLC (Professional Learning Community) and I’m an elective so there are 22 of us that do not teach the same thing at all–think I teach Health Sciences so Med Term and First aid and I’m supposed to meet collaboratively with art, Spanish, PE, and the band teachers. We call ourselves the Island of Misfit Toys. I’m the department chair so we are doing a touch base meeting tomorrow before we teach.

        1. Humble Schoolmarm*

          Yup! In the last 24 hours I’ve learned screencastify and Google meet. I’m so glad that our School Board has a tech team and they’ve been doing a great job of hosting office hours and sending quick guides to some of the most common programs.

          Right now we’re doing grade level meetings instead of PLCs. It’s not ideal because I teach in a dual language school and there isn’t typically a lot of overlap between my side and the English side. I’m trying to figure out if I can/want to burn enough capital with my principal to request a weekly meeting for just our second language side. We all share and know the same kids, so it makes more sense to me than to sit in on a meeting about kids I don’t know who are being taught different things in a whole other language.

      2. Maybe*

        Forgive me if this isn’t relevant as I’m not a teacher, but if it’s primarily two students would it be possible to set up pre-scheduled check ins every few days? That way you could plan around it / have them funnel all their requests through the check ins?

        1. A Teacher*

          In my case, its not two students. Its multiple students reaching out via: email, google voice text, regular text, and MS teams chat. At all hours of the day. I get anixety when something is not answered but after 13.5 hours on the computer yesterday, I realized I couldn’t sustain that.

    6. Also A Teacher*

      I just wanted to chime in and commiserate. I have some of both problems. I teach elementary band and strings, and they basically want us to run a YouTube channel except through Canvas, which has been a nightmare to learn and set up. My county is trying to be very cognizant of our personal time and also our students’ time (since parents are working from home and may be sharing devices with multiple kids) so right now what they’re asking of me seems…too easy and disconnected? I expected to be able to hold office hours for my kids and try to teach some new skills, but we aren’t allowed to even do that. We have to join one of the homeroom classes Google Meets once a week, which means by the end of the school year I won’t even have seen all of my kids once if I stick to this schedule. And then on top of all of this, we aren’t allowed to teach anything new (review only) and we aren’t grading or asking kids to turn in anything, so I can’t even give feedback to the ones I know will be chomping at the bit to hear from me.

      I just…really miss them and really miss making music with them and I’m so sad for all of the things we were going to accomplish this year that we won’t be now. This whole thing sucks. I’m also stressed about all the school instruments I won’t get back from kids and also possibly doing band and strings recruitment online somehow in the fall??? UGH.

      I’m just glad I’m not alone in my feelings. My friends are all loving this and living their WFH dreams and I feel so isolated and lonely and sad.

      1. Brett*

        There are a lot of regional networks forming just for band and strings teachers because of the unique problems they face. My wife (a suzuki institutional teacher) is part of one just for everyone to figure out the complications of work from home private lessons. Another friend of mine is a southern california band teacher who has a network of band teachers working through different software options together.
        You probably have at least an informal network already, so might want to reach out through them for some of the solutions they are coming up with.

        1. Also A Teacher*

          Thanks! If this wasn’t clear, we aren’t allowed to live teach, at all. No one at the elementary level in my district is. I definitely have a network of people and we are all sharing video ideas but…I just didn’t sign up to be a Youtube star, and that’s basically what’s being asked of us. :/ And I definitely didn’t sign up to do it on an incredibly clunky and not at all user-friendly site without being able to interact with my children.

    7. just a random teacher*

      I just wish my state would pick a plan and stick with it. We’re on about Round 4 of new plans in the last month, and I am just Over It. I can teach online, I can teach pass/fail, I can teach new stuff, I can just do review, I can do whatever, but I need to not get a new plan every damn week.

      At this point, I’m feeling totally unmotivated to actually tear my online course apart for the second time in April based on the new state-level rules from this week, because next week they’ll probably say something else and I am tired of all of the planning and clicking and throwing away of the previous hours and hours of work.

      Bleh.

    8. Another Teacher*

      I feel all of this. My state hasn’t officially shut down for the rest of the year but the informal consensus is we will. I miss my kids (HS freshmen and juniors) and am feeling totally torn trying to give my students enough attention and also my 3.5 and 5 month old enough attention. And it is HARD nor does it feel like enough for anyone.

  18. I miss the muffins*

    I miss the chocolate chocolate chip muffins at the cafeteria at work.

    Yes this is a minuscule thing compared to all that is going on right now. But those muffins were good enough to get a shout-out into the internet. And thank you to the baker(s) who made them.

    Maybe one day I’ll see you again, delicious muffin. You made the commute into the office worthwhile.

    1. Amanda*

      OMG, the cafeteria brownies! Weird and shallow as it may sound, it fills me with actual grief every time I think about the brownies.

      It may seem like nothing the big scheme, but for me they seem to represent everything that was good and normal and now is gone. I totally get you!

    2. Pit Pat*

      I would kill for a La Colombe oat milk latte.

      I realize in the big scheme of things, this is a very small thing to miss, but…

      I’d love to hear other people’s “frivolous” things that they miss.

      1. Jedi Squirrel*

        My jam was to walk the half mile to my local coffee shop and get a hot chocolate on the weekends. It was so nice in the winter!

        1. londonedit*

          What I’m really missing is my Saturday morning routine. I’d walk to my local parkrun, run the 5k with friends, and then either we’d all go for coffee or I’d walk back up to my favourite coffee shop and buy a coffee and a cake. I’d love to do that again!

      2. Grace*

        My work’s coffee machine! We had a proper one, that ground the beans for us, and I have nothing but instant at home because I was a coffee-only-at-work person. I miss good coffee.

        On the other hand, I’ve drastically cut my sugar intake on the basis of there being no eternal supply of biscuits and soft drinks.

      3. new kid*

        Super frivolous, but I miss idly shopping as a leisure activity, honestly. I’m moving at the end of the month, and I was really looking forward to buying furniture. Plus I think I tie shopping to my mom because we enjoy thrifting together and I haven’t been able to see her since new years.

        1. Roberta aka Bertie*

          I also miss window shopping. It was only after the quarantine started that I realized just how often I would take a long wander on the weekend popping into and out of shops, just for fun, buying if something caught my eye but mostly just looking.

      4. Herding Butterflies*

        I used to walk to the nearest bodega at about a block and half away just to get away from my desk and buy Reese’s peanut butter cups. I miss my office space, I miss the walk to the bodega. I know I can get Reese’s anywhere, but it was the ritual of it.

      5. christine*

        There is a little cafe across the street from the office that sells these giant, delicious chocolate chip cookies. A few times a week that’d be my mid-afternoon pick-me-up: a quick walk across the street for a cookie and either a hot chocolate or an iced chai. The employees at the cafe recognized me after a while. It was just… nice. I miss the cookies, but I think more than that I miss the routine of it. (And probably the ability to go outside for something that seems so frivolous now.)

      6. Elenna*

        There’s a Tim Hortons on the first floor of my office building and I miss their breakfast sandwiches and steeped tea. :(

        1. Bree*

          I miss the friendly workers who knew to get me my double-double every morning before I even said anything. :(

        2. Mill Miker*

          Carpooling meant I got dropped of at work every day a half hour before I was supposed to, which was just enough time to walk across downtown, enjoy a breakfast sandwich at Tim Hortons, and then walk back to the office. I miss the walk and the food.

      7. The Original K.*

        I miss just “popping into” a place. You’re out, you’re walking around, you see something in a window and you just walk in and decide to look around, or get the pastry they have in the window, or try on that dress. You can’t just walk in anywhere anymore, and I really miss that.

      8. Tau*

        Going out to a cafe for breakfast on the weekend. I had this whole routine where I would take my laptop, buy myself a chai and a panini or the local equivalents, and have some guiltless writing time (if I write, great! if I just produce 1k words of more worldbuilding and plotting notes, also great! If I just ended up daydreaming and then going home after half an hour, everything is good!). I’ve been trying to figure out if I could manage an in-home equivalent and coming up blank. :(

      9. Diahann Carroll*

        I miss going to cultural events like the opera – I bought my season tickets for 2020-2021 in December, and yesterday they sent us an email cancelling the entire season that was supposed to start in June (guess that means my state’s staying closed for some time). I miss getting dressed in cocktail and evening attire, doing my makeup, and showing up for a glitzy night on the town with good drinks and light patisseries. I have so many beautiful gowns that are just dying for some love, but I have nowhere to wear them now – it’s only a matter of time before my season tickets for the ballet get cancelled too. *sigh*

      11. JustaTech*

        I miss getting dinner at my husband’s work cafeteria. It’s not even mostly that it’s free, it’s that it’s always something really different and interesting and well made, and I could have a soda with dinner and when we got home we were *done* for the night, and no dishes.

      12. Mill Miker*

        The only thing that tends to get me up before noon on weekends is the opportunity to either prepare or purchase a really nice breakfast. With everything closed, and eggs in short supply, neither are really options right now, and most of the other things I consider breakfast staples are the things that run out or go off about halfway between our now-reduced grocery trips. I miss just having a breakfast that my brain recognizes as “breakfast” and not just “food”

      13. frivolousgrit*

        I miss walking up and down the aisles at a craft store, maybe buying something or maybe just browsing, during my lunch break at work. I would wear my ear buds, listen to a podcast, and just check out fabric/yarn/whatever.

        1. JustaTech*

          The last “frivolous” shopping I did before the SAH orders came down was to go to the yarn store. My SO gave me a hard time about it, but just knowing that I had enough yarn for two whole projects just for me took my anxiety way, way down.

      14. Jackalope*

        My favorite sport is ballroom dancing. As in, I’ve done it multiple times a week for over a decade. I applied for my current job since it was a significant pay increase and I could better afford the dancing. It’s my standard mental health boost when I’m having a hard time and just need to get out of my head for awhile. Etc. Really. Love. Dancing. But for obvious reasons, going to a dance party and dancing with 30 different people is off the table right now. It’s killing me! And I’m worried about my studio that they’ll still be around when all of this finishes. My other favorite sport is biking which I can still do in my state but it’s not the same as dancing.

      16. nep*

        Thrifting.
        Not so frivolous for me, though, since online reselling is currently one of my income streams.
        Really do miss visiting the mix of my favorite resale shops, though. And of course this is a time of year people are spring cleaning and usually donating some interesting things.
        Related to that, I always look forward to estate sale / garage sale ‘season.’ Gone for now…

      17. double spicy*

        Thanks for starting this thread! I miss being able to share baked goods with my coworkers (under normal circumstances, I attend lots of potlucks with friends, and my coworkers are always glad to help eat leftovers). I’ve hardly baked anything since before the stay-at-home order started locally, mid-March.

    3. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      I think I miss the little things as a way to keep myself from getting caught up in anxiety about the big things.

      1. NotAPirate*

        I think this statement is very wise. I have no hope of getting the big things right now (hugging my dad, very at risk, 4 states away from me) but there’s a decent hope that the grocery store might get my favorite cereal in stock. Focusing on missing my cereal is a lot easier than missing my dad.

    4. ThatGirl*

      I work in a company with a test kitchen that regularly turns out cupcakes, cookies and occasionally muffins, quick breads, scones, pizzas, pasta dishes, and other baked delights. I miss wandering into the break area to see what’s been made recently.

    5. Mouse*

      There’s a coffee shop next to my work. They’re ridiculously expensive, but the chai lattes are amaaaaazing and it’s my favorite “rough day” treat. I miss them so much.

    6. CupcakeCounter*

      I think focusing on those little things, either that you have them or you miss them, can really help manage anxiety over bigger picture issues. Its why I felt the LW from yesterday about the missing chocolate egg got an unfair shake. Yes there are serious issues out there and receiving a chocolate egg is low priority right now but those little things matter even more right now for mental health. It was something to look forward to! Like a sunny day in the middle of a Midwest winter – doesn’t change the fact that its still 4 degrees outside with 22 inches of snow but Damn! It looks pretty and makes me feel better.

      1. fposte*

        I would have *cried* over that chocolate egg. The combination of missing out and food right now would have just knifed me in the heart.

    7. The Original K.*

      I used to work somewhere that had the best blueberry muffins I have ever had, to this day. I feel you.

    8. CL Cox*

      There is an Amish bakery inside a farmer’s market near my school. They have the most amazing pretzels. I miss their pretzel and milkshake special. And Dunkin runs when I made bank deposits.

    11. Stormy Weather*

      There’s a Swedish espresso shop near my office that I miss. They make this cardamon bread with a cinnamon filling that is utterly amazing. And I can’t try to make it myself because I can’t find a store with yeast.

    12. Can't Sit Still*

      I miss the pie in the cafeteria at work. $.79 a slice for lemon meringue, pecan, chocolate silk, apple, or berry. Mmm, lemon meringue!

      I also miss espresso macchiatos and flat whites. They are entirely frivolous caffeine delivery methods, but I miss them so!

        1. Can't Sit Still*

          Our cafeteria is subsidized, so that keeps food cheap. But I think the pies are catering leftovers, given the total randomness of flavors.

    13. CastIrony*

      I frankly don’t miss much, but whenever I see a coworker from my former job, I always say hello to them by name because they’re special to me.

    14. just a random teacher*

      I miss overhearing the student conversations. Teens will tend to just kind of proceed about their lives when a teacher is in earshot and it’s not specifically time for a lesson, and I miss all of the little windows into their lives I’d get when they talk to their friends.

      I also miss Surprise Food. We’d often have someone bring in donuts or other snacks as a treat, and now that I’m home there are no more food surprises. I have plenty of junk food (among other things, I stocked up on tins of Christmas cookies at the after Christmas sales since those stay good for months and I planned to serve them at some meetings that won’t likely happen now), but things that I bought myself are not the same as things that just magically appear in the break room.

    15. Senior Montoya*

      I’m sad that I can’t bake for my colleagues. I love to cook, and it was so nice that they ate it all up.

    16. Chaordic One*

      I miss Starbucks. After they ordered the restaurants closed, they still had the drive-thru window open, but now even that is closed at the 2 nearest to my house and the only ones with drive-thru windows still open are too far out of the way to consider.

  19. Herding Butterflies*

    I know for many people the pandemic has highlighted how bad your management is. I know that I am lucky to still be working, but for each day that passes, my frustration with my management grows. They are tone deaf, unsympathetic….the horrible thing is that overall my company has been great, it’s just my direct management…..

    My question is how many of you would like to switch jobs when this is over (when and if the economy recovers)?

    1. Super Anon*

      I will definitely be trying to switch jobs. My employer hasn’t been too horrible. But, the whole WFH thing has turned my boss into a complete micromanager, and she seems like she is doing even less than when we were in the office.

    2. Jedi Squirrel*

      My frustration, stress, depression, and anxiety are at an all-time high. I was thinking about leaving before and am anxiously looking now.

      I keep telling myself that the economy is going to bounce back just to give myself hope. I can’t stand the thought of working here any more.

      1. KaliAZ*

        Yup I’m right there with you. Ever since this started I’m realizing the culture fit issues I thought were minor have driven my stress and anxiety through the roof.

        Starting my search again this weekend to give myself some hope.

    3. Mazzy*

      Can you be more specific? Tone deaf to what? I’m a manager and we haven’t been talking much about corona because I’m assuming employees don’t need or want to talk about corona yet again with me.

      1. Herding Butterflies*

        Tone deaf in that they expect work to go on like normal when there is nothing normal about this. I don’t have a printer or a scanner, so no I can’t just print that out, mark it up, scan it and send it out. No, I cannot market for new work when half my clients are shuttered. No, my billings will not meet expectations for this month as, again, half my clients are shuttered and thus half my projects are gone. No, I am not willing to call up my remaining clients and ask if they have any new projects (Really? WTF?) They are worried about to survive this crisis and how to pay their own staff; they aren’t thinking about projects right now. And on and on…..they are only looking at the $$ in this.

        1. Mazzy*

          Oh now I see! Yes a previous job made me reach out to people not ordering during the crash of late 2008. It felt like a punishment because it was all “duh you didn’t hear about the recession? I have no business.” And I think some people dropped us after I was forced to annoy them

          1. Herding Butterflies*

            Yes, and I fully understand that if we cannot create new business, my company will eventually not be able to afford all of us and layoff will happen. But for us, like you, there is no new business, and please stop beating on me to find it.

    4. Amanda*

      I’m actually really impressed with how my company is handling all of this, and my managers have been all around awesome. I went the other way. I was ligthly looking for somehing new before this started, and now I feel like it’s absolutely crazy to even consider leaving this company.

    5. Betty2*

      Me! I was already semi-looking, but things weren’t terrible and there are some good perks (government stability, good pay) that I’m really glad for right now. But omg. The miscommunication and poor management was hard in the office and next to impossible from home. This is also highlighting how much extra responsibility I’m expected to shoulder compared to my colleagues, without any kind of recognition or promotion. I’m being pinged before and after hours and asked to do things under incredibly short timelines with little to no direction, whereas some of my colleagues literally don’t have computers (half of us got assigned laptops, the other half of us have to work on our personal devices…yup, and this is government) & continue to be paid more than me. (Which is great for them!! I don’t want anyone to lose their income. But come on.)

    6. Aggretsuko*

      I’ve wanted to for years, but I’m trapped.

      I’m really tired of bringing up *WHOPPING PROBLEM* every 2-3 days to management and getting ignored about it and they won’t let me notify people that it is a problem.

    7. coffeeandpearls*

      The break in pace and routine at work has been a good reminder for me how unhealthy my office is and how micromanaged we are. Now the person doing the micromanagement is off their routine and they are not the best at technology, so they haven’t been able to do it full force for the past month. It’s been really nice. However, where there’s a will, there’s a way! I expect in the next few weeks, they will adapt and ramp back up. I’ll be polishing up my resume – but who’s hiring?!

    8. Lentils*

      Ugh, I’m sorry you’ve been having such a bad time with your direct management. Sending sympathy and e-hugs if you’d like them <3

      Pretty much everyone in my department (finance) is all but saying they're leaving as soon as they can. Most of us are being forced to come into the office despite being in one of the first hard-hit areas, and my company has been laughably disinterested in actually trying to ensure our safety. (They passed out one free bandana to each of us yesterday! And now we have the option of calling into meetings from our desks. This works maybe 50% of the time.) I already knew it was a sketchy company but this just confirms it – I'm not staying here one minute longer than I need to.

      1. Curmudgeon in California*

        One free bandana? That’s cheesy. Sure, I could probably eke two masks out of one bandana, but I’ve been sewing for years.

        If you work can be done remotely, the fact that they don’t enable it is … callous, at best.

    9. Aren't we supposed to know better?*

      Ooof I am so much in the same boat. I work for a public agency, and they’ve broadly been good, but my direct leadership has been awful, and keeps getting worse! Super unsympathetic to their employees to the point that I’m losing respect for them as fellow humans. And on the work side, assigning projects but immediately forgetting about them, making us spin our wheels re-doing the same steps because they can’t remember that we did them, and nit picking the (actually pretty impressive!) stuff we are able to get done with no direction whatsoever.

      I really like this organization, and my job, but I’m going to have a hard time staying with it once this is over. I feel disillusioned.

      1. Kowalski! Options!*

        Same here. I never realized that I worked with so many technophobic people who haven’t learned the most basic features of everyday software; who lash out at underlings in times of stress rather than rally the troops instead of seeing who can handle what and who can contribute to what; and how badly managed some of my coworkers are, because some supervisors are burning two or three people out while the rest are twiddling their fingers. I don’t know about the other teams in my division, but frankly, my bunch are slightly less functional than the Marx Brothers’ dressing room arrangements.
        I’m lucky that I have a skill set that’s in high demand because, frankly, once all of this is over, I’m THIS CLOSE to walking away and becoming a freelancer again.

    11. I'm A Little Teapot*

      My management’s failings aren’t specifically highlighted by the pandemic, but they’re still there. And they’re not related to callousness re the situation. I am searching. I expect it to be slower than usual, but considering “usual” for me has been just over a month, I do think I’ve got a good shot at something new before fall at latest.

    12. N*

      Desperately. So tone deaf. My boss told me I was “more likely to get covid at the grocery store” than at work. I work in a clinic that provides rehab services.

    13. CastIrony*

      I want to get a new job or quit my cafeteria job. I don’t want to go back after seven years of being part-time and knowing who my supervisor prefers. Besides, the environment is very negative.

    14. Senior Montoya*

      Me. Because right at the start, our bosses worked out a rotating skeleton crew to staff the office and work remotely with our students, and TPB slapped it down and said (while WFH mind you), you all have to come in and you have to see students face to face.

      Within a few days the county and then governor put in a stay at home order. But I will never never never forget that they thought our lives were so unimportant compared to “how it would look.”

    15. First Time Caller*

      This tracks for me too. I was already looking (and in fact have an interview later today!) because I was frustrated by the management in my current role. My boss has also been asking me to do outreach to our customers ostensibly to “see how they are doing” but really to remind them that we are still filling orders. It feels more than a little icky. If I liked this job more I would be more than happy to continue working from home, but I think I am willing to start a new job (in what our area considers an “essential” industry, no less) rather than just trying to wait it out…

  20. Master Bean Counter*

    In many ways I love this. I can accomplish so much at home. No commute is a huge plus.
    But this has also brought out a fatal flaw of my boss. He doesn’t communicate well. He neglected to tell me something very important this month that ended up with me looking like an inconsiderate fool. It’s amazing how much I miss not being in the office next to him.
    It’s also made me realize when this is over I probably should start looking for something new before my boss ends up tanking my career at the current company.

    1. Jedi Squirrel*

      Yeah, management skills in person are different that management skills while WFH.

      But why wait until this is over?

      1. Master Bean Counter*

        Nobody is hiring right now. At least not in my area. Also I’m set up on a pretty sweet work from home deal that no other employer in the area is doing as well as my company.

        1. Diahann Carroll*

          If you like working from home, try looking for permanent remote jobs. I’m still getting job alerts that show those positions are still out there, and most of them are with companies not headquartered in my state (I currently work for a company that doesn’t even have a field office in my state).

    2. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      > He neglected to tell me something very important this month that ended up with me looking like an inconsiderate fool. It’s amazing how much I miss not being in the office next to him.

      Sounds like important info you rely on isn’t actually communicated by your boss but just “heard” by you sitting next to him and so absorbing it in a 3rd party eavesdropping sort of way?

      That doesn’t sound right. Have the conversation with your boss about the situation that ended up with you looking like an “inconsiderate fool” and how ‘we’ can avoid this kind of thing in the future by communicating more directly (e.g. a daily/weekly review or whatever makes sense in your situation).

  21. Super Anon*

    So I’m really bummed that I’m probably going to be stuck in my current job for the next couple years, and I feel super guilty about that. There are 22 million people out of work, so I feel like I should just be grateful that I have a job. Especially, as I’m in an industry that is directly impacted by the limit on gatherings (although not immediately impacted). But, I’m still bummed about it, and I’m annoyed at myself for not jumping ship earlier. I lived through the great recession and I was just feeling confident enough again to change jobs.

    However, I’m also loving working from home.

    1. ThatOneRedhead*

      I found out yesterday that I didn’t get an internal position that I applied for and am with you in feeling stuck.

    2. Paris Geller*

      I can sympathize with this to a small degree. I am so grateful to have a job, but at the beginning of the year I was planning on apply for new jobs with an increase in pay & responsibilities, and that seems so unlikely now. I don’t dislike my job, but I was really ready for something new. I had started to feel like my career was starting to come together.

  22. Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws*

    My home wifi is out and my ISP keeps telling me we’ve exhausted all of our remote troubleshooting options and the next step is for a technician visit. I’m asking if I can mail them my modem to exchange for one I can install myself, or even just buy one to install myself, and they keep telling me that it’s not possible to return my modem by mail, but they can schedule a visit for me. I’d literally rather exhaust all my PTO than do that in my area right now. I live close to my office and nobody else is coming in, so I’m able to make it work until I can get a hotspot set up in my apartment, but this is exhausting and stressful. I’d rather just not go outside at all.

    1. fposte*

      You don’t need your ISP’s permission to buy your own modem, though; if that’s what you want to do, just order one online. Many devices list whose specs they meet, so it’s usually pretty easy.

      1. Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws*

        I’m aware. I’m still charged a monthly rental fee for the modem I have, which I’m waiting to find out whether they’ll waive if they won’t accept a return by mail.

        1. dealing with dragons*

          do they have drop off spots? last time I had cable there was a place you would chuck the box into to return it so there was no contact

    2. Jedi Squirrel*

      I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Losing my wifi is one of my biggest fears right now. I can use my phone as a hotspot, but would burn through my data plan fairly quickly. I’m starting to wonder if I should buy a back up router the next time something like this hits.

      1. Grace*

        My work has said that they’ll be happy to expense any overrun on phone data plans caused by hotspotting when internet is out. I know not all companies are that generous, but when it’s a choice between doing work and doing no work… It might be worth bringing up?

    3. Brett*

      Check with your cell company. Our company (Verizon) tripled our data limits for free so that we can hotspot if needed. If your home internet is out, your company might give you a lot of free extra data for a month or give you a really good deal on data temporarily.

      1. Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws*

        This is fantastic, thanks – my company is working with me to get a hotspot sent to my place and I can expense that and everything associated with it, but I’ve been using my personal phone as a hotspot for non-work use and I’m expecting the “you’re almost out of data” text any minute now.

        1. Brett*

          Definitely give your cell phone company a call and let them know what is going on. A lot of them are being very flexible right now.

    4. Granger Chase*

      You also can try calling again. My coworker’s elderly parents were told they needed to have a tech come into the home to fix their phone/internet. They weren’t willing to take the risk, but needed a working phone, so coworker made several calls to the company until they were able to get someone to walk them through how to fix the problem themselves. I’m sorry this company is being difficult about helping you without having to come into your home!

      Possible alternative suggestion: our local library is closed but they did send out an email to everyone saying that their free WiFi is still in place and you should be able to use it throughout the whole parking lot. I’m not sure if you have a library/cafe/school in your area that you might be able to park at and try to work that way? I know it’s an option I was considering when our internet was really spotty, as we aren’t willing to have anyone new come in our home right now due to comprised immune systems in the household.

      1. Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws*

        That’s my hope! They keep insisting they can’t get someone on the phone with me until I schedule a visit, and I’m not able to get a human on the phone when I call their customer service line, so I’ve just scheduled a visit with no intention of actually having it so I can get a phone call and eventually hopefully get someone to talk me through the steps, lmao. Telling them “there have been confirmed covid cases in my building and it’s not safe for the technician to come to my apartment” has done nothing to deter them from insisting it’ll be fiiiiiiiine.

        Thanks for the tip about the library!

    5. 00ff00Claire*

      If you’re comfortable buying your own, I would try to go that route. I had to take equipment back a few years ago and I put it off a long time because it was such a hassle. I don’t remember the company caring how long it took for me to take it back. If you’re willing to buy one yourself they but are that insistent you return the current one and they won’t let you mail in the modem, could you arrange for the technician to come out and just pick up the modem if they want it back that bad? You could leave it out for them to pick up like a reverse package delivery or something. Or maybe they would even be willing to let the technician bring new equipment and pick up the old without coming into your home?

    6. Gatomon*

      That’s ridiculous. If the modem is still syncing and it’s just wifi that is broken, you should be able to plug in any off-the-shelf wireless router and get a functioning network. Worst case scenario you may be double-NAT’ing, which can impact performance somewhat, but is obviously better than no internet.

    7. Holy Moley*

      IT person here: go on your ISP website and look at their approved modem list and buy one online at curbside pickup at an electronics store. Once you swap it out, just call the ISP helpdesk and they can add the modem to your account.

      I did this a few months ago, spent $100 on my own modem and got it fixed. Depending on your wireless router, if you rent from them they can give you a new one or you can install your own. Hope that helps :)

  23. Eillah*

    My ADHD is *out of control* right now. Making myself work feels like trying to push myself through a brick wall. Does anyone have motivation hacks where you trick yourself into doing things? I find it so, so, *so* difficult to make myself do things, even when I absolutely have to.

    1. ynotlot*

      One that works for me in a pinch is give yourself another critical task to do that you want to do even LESS. Then, set it up so that when you procrastinate that task, the procrastination is doing the other task.

      1. juliebulie*

        I’m in the same boat as Eillah. I tried choosing between doing my job vs. an even more unappealing household task, and… I’ve gotten more household tasks done in the last month than I did in the last couple of years. I’m my own worst boss. I’m intractable.

        So your particular strategy is working for me; just not working the way I had hoped.

        1. new kid*

          This is me! When I suddenly have a burst of productivity, it’s used up doing something around the house and I can’t seem to redirect the same energy back at work stuff.

    2. The Green Lawintern*

      Have you tried using a pomodoro timer? Twenty minutes of work followed by a five minute break. Sometimes it was the only way I could force myself to study in school.

      1. Anonymousaurus Rex*

        This is what I was going to suggest. The pomodoro technique the only way I was able to write my dissertation and I’ve gone back to it now. I’m a regular remote employee (with no kids), so I have no excuses for why this period is harder for me now, but I need to let myself indulge in breaks and then get back to work in order to get anything accomplished.

        1. Justin*

          Yes, that’s how I do things with my own focus issues. The specific lengths are different (usually it’s “get this THING done, break, get this THING done, break) but it works for me.

    3. Elenna*

      Yeah, I don’t have an official diagnosis but I suspect I might have ADHD, and focusing for WFH is, uh, difficult. Doesn’t help that it’s a slow period at work right now so I don’t really feel pressured to do things fast. It sort of helps when I have a list of stuff that needs doing instead of just one thing, so I can jump between them. Listening to Twitch streams in the background… uh… sort of helps? On one hand it gives the “bored, need something new” voice in my brain something to listen to, on the other hand it’s obviously another distraction. I’m hoping it’ll get better once we get more busy in a couple weeks.

    4. Kristin*

      Same, same, same. I know it doesn’t help that I have my personal laptop next to me and, most of all, can’t put down Animal Crossing… but that’s because it’s a hyperfixation that’s keeping me somewhat sane. I don’t have any tips, just solidarity.

    5. Justin*

      Interesting, mine is much worse in my open office. At home I have been able to compartmentalize. So I suppose what helps me is I say, from (time) to (time), it’s going to be work, and nothing else. And then I build in a lot of breaks. And I get some tea (or whatever) as a reward.

    6. irene*

      I’m not WFH but i recently got my ADHD diagnosis and was put on medication for it, and I finally feel like a normal person? with regards to energy levels anyway, and that helps me with feeling more motivation and less boredom (i’ve noticed since that when i get more tired/mentally worn out, it’s harder to keep on task and i look for other sources of stimulation, which looks a lot like getting bored quickly, and i have a harder time with multiple stimuli fighting for attention)

      I don’t know if you have the resources to re-evaluate your medication situation, that maybe WFH needs something different than you’re used to.

      But one thing that has helped me a LOT is the To Do List. I have hung picture frames throughout my house with plain white behind the glass (because they’re cheap at the dollar store!) and use whiteboard markers to make lists of things i want to accomplish, related to whatever tasks belong in a particular room. Though my bedroom has lots of chore things, too, so i can see the list from bed (this helps when i get stuck in the morning and need a reason to actually get up). There’s lots of unpleasant, boring things like mopping or cleaning toilets, but also fun things like reading a book or going for a bike ride. I usually do a week at a time, so that my weekdays after work are ok to do the list if i’m not too tired, but it’s really meant for weekends. I don’t expect to completely finish a list every week. But there is a gamification element and satisfaction for accurately predicting what i’ll have spoons for, and being able to cross off a particularly annoying task.

      Can you adapt something like this for work? Mix up good stuff and hard stuff, just think of it as one task out of many, and leave the reminders around your place? That’s why I like the picture frames (my teacher sister taught me that it’s cheaper than white boards! and you can make the background nice, or use a typed list as a shortcut, and if it stops working for you, you’ve got usable picture frames). I can move them where I need the reminders, and swap out, say, a list of things I have to do to leave for work with a list of things i have to check before taking my bike somewhere.

      Though tbh I’m very reliant on visual cues, color coding, and lots of lists to help my memory along. I have multiple lists and whiteboards at work, where I use a combination of Pleasant + Unpleasant tasks and deadlines to help keep motivated. I don’t need to have the reminders to separate my WFH and home stuff, but what I listed above, with the extra picture frames, is my plan for if/when i stop coming into the office (we’re essential services, i’m too new for wfh, but lots of office staff only come in once or twice a week). I’ve always struggled with WFH when doing online school or just trying to have a WFH day to get things done, but that was before I was diagnosed and thought my struggles were just a matter of willpower!

    7. Curmudgeon in California*

      Mine is going crazy too. I end up switching back and forth between so many attention sinks, and trying to do regular work, that I feel like a starfish. I can’t concentrate for more than 15 minutes at a time (some of this is the crazy increase in interruptions from deliveries and the gladfly roommate).

      If it wasn’t for my habit of documenting everything in the past, I would start leaving out steps and screwing up. Same with to-dos. Seriously, if I don’t write it down, it doesn’t exist.

      I make myself do the drudge stuff by telling myself that if I didn’t have that to do, I’d be bored.

  24. SociallyDistant*

    Our company laid off several people, then sent a mass email soliciting people to volunteer to be furloughed. People are of course worried. If they volunteer, will they be seen as not really “needing” a job and then be laid off later? If they don’t volunteer, will they be furloughed anyway but then miss out on the promised “incentives” the company is offering for those who volunteer?
    With the extra $600 from unemployment, some people stand to make more money unemployed, but with the unemployment offices being so overwhelmed, who’s to say you’d actually see the money right away? And they’re only giving people 36hrs to volunteer, which implies the INvoluntary furloughs are coming next week anyway…

    1. Tuckerman*

      Ugh, yeah, I know it probably varies state to state, but in my area people who applied for unemployment 3 weeks ago still haven’t seen a payment. And they won’t even begin processing for self-employed until 4/25. That puts a lot of people in a rough situation.

    2. CupcakeCounter*

      My company did that as well but they have a good track record of bringing people back as promised so quite a few people in the higher risk categories took the offer right away. Helped out my sister and her husband as they were able to keep their jobs and move to the same shift.

    3. Diahann Carroll*

      I would be concerned about this too – my state already said our unemployment fund will be insolvent by June, and claims are taking forever to be processed (not their fault), so there’s no guarantee there’s even going to be money left by the time they get to your claim.

  25. LDN Layabout*

    My org has a lot of ex-frontline staff and pretty much everyone has gone back, whether it’s nurses, pharmacists, paramedics, ambulance control room, as well as special constables and army reservists getting permission to be full time there (on full pay from us, obv).

    That’s in addition to those volunteering on various fronts.

    Some people are relating their experiences back to those of us still doing org work and to be honest it’s how I start my day every day now and it helps (and hopefully I’ll be volunteering at the Crick soon to support the testing ramp-up).

  26. Buni*

    One month after I more-or-less stopped working, my boss has just told me I can be furloughed (actually she offered to ‘furlong’ me, but I’m presuming she doesn’t intend to enter me into the 3.15 Derby and let me keep the winnings….).

    Up ’til now I was a kinda zero-hours-contract hourly paid worker – I submitted my hours at the end of each month, they paid me accordingly. I can still do little bits, but in a normal month my hours as of today would have been 30-ish, and it’s actually been 5. This is my one of two jobs, and I’m completely out on the other one, so this is FANTASTIC.

    1. fposte*

      My love for my immediate co-workers and staff has swelled. They have been so wonderful and been my bright lights during all of this.

      But I feel like I’m in a foxhole with them and nobody else in the army matters to me. Every now and then I get an email from above and I’m like “Who *are* you and why do I care what you say?” I”m a little worried about my ability to relate to my department when things come back to reality.

      1. fposte*

        Ugh, nesting fail; I’m sorry. I was going to comment on “furlonged,” which is unfortunately very funny in the middle of news that is not.

    2. Recreational Moderation*

      You just annoyed the heck out of my cat, who was dislodged from my lap when I burst out laughing at the idea of being “furlonged.” Actually, though, running in the Derby sounds like more fun than being furloughed … and I’d bet on you!
      Still giggling.

  27. Sleepy*

    How do people react when they hear coworkers are not social distancing? I was flabbergasted when one said that he was still practicing with his band (they have since stopped…I think) and another said he had dinner with a friend this weekend.

    1. Super Anon*

      I have one co-worker who is still living life as normal, and putting everything on facebook. She’s also complaining that everything is closed. I’ve had to block her, because I find it incredibly frustrating to see that she’s not taking this seriously, and it’s people like her that will make the shut downs go on longer.

      However, I also try and remind myself that I can’t control others I can only control myself.

    2. Sidestep*

      I have one colleague who attended some of those “defy the virus” parties back before our state put in a stay-at-home order. I’ve just headdesked and avoided conversation, really – we’re all working from home so there’s not much I can do besides (◔_◔) at their social media

    3. Bostonian*

      It’s very jarring and disappointing, but I try to keep judgement to myself (or just vent to my husband!). Our upstairs neighbors have very much not been social distancing, which does indirectly affect us, but I’d rather not say anything and just take extra precautions. I don’t think my saying anything is going to change anyone’s behavior.

      And in the case of coworkers where you still need to maintain good relationships… I think if anything, the safest bet is to respond to a coworker talking about social events with “Oh… so no social distancing?” in a confused/curious tone. And then leave it at that. If someone is the conscientious type who would change their behavior, then that might do the trick. If they’re not, there’s probably nothing you can do.

    4. Roscoe*

      It depends what they are doing. Like, a friend of mine had a few of us over in has backyard recently, for a couple of hours. All the chairs were at least 6 feet apart. People brought their own drinks, no one entered the house. It was 100% fine. I know some people would look unfavorably on that, but it really helped my mental state, and I don’t feel like I was any closer to catching anything than I am by going and picking up food or grocery shopping.

      But, to me, its not my place to judge what they are doing. As long as this is in effect, not my business. I’m not coming in contact with them, so what they do is on them.

      1. CupcakeCounter*

        A neighborhood just had a street party like that and the cops were called. They drove down the street, noticed that everyone was 6ft+ apart and told everyone they were doing a great job and to keep having fun. My favorite neighbors are too far down the road but we did drop off a gift on their front porch (they were supposed to go to Hawaii for 2 weeks and had been planning the trip for almost 2 years and had to cancel so I got them a pineapple, some rum, and coconut candles) and talk for 30 minutes or so from their front yard.

      2. pancakes*

        You have no idea whether it was or wasn’t “100% fine” because people can be asymptomatic carriers. The idea that people who are sick with the virus reliably look and sound sick is nonsense. We’ve known that for months now. Why are you denying it? Whether you want it to be or not, your own denial of basic facts is the business of everyone you come into contact with. People cannot survive with food and medicine but they absolutely can survive without backyard parties, so please stop trying to use “I don’t feel any closer to risk” as a deflection.

        2. Roscoe*

          Ok, fine, no one can know for sure if anything is 100% fine. My point is, we followed social distancing guidelines as they are laid out. If you would particularly like to never go outside, that is your choice. But, we were all 6-10 feet apart. So my risk of catching anything was no more than if I’m outside on a walk and someone is walking 6-10 feet in front or behind me. Luckily I don’t need your approval for what I’m doing.

          1. pancakes*

            You have entirely misunderstood what I was trying to say if your takeaway is that I like staying indoors forever! I was talking about your thought process, not my preferences, which are beside the point. You also appear to misunderstand the nature of risk. Yes, you are increasing the risk of a poor health outcome for yourself and everyone you come into contact with by choosing to break quarantine to socialize in addition to breaking quarantine to get food and medicine. Whether anyone approves or doesn’t approve is entirely beside the point. That you have the personal agency to choose to break quarantine is not an argument in favor of breaking quarantine.

            1. Old and Don’t Care*

              Breaking quarantine is not the best choice of words. Most people are not under legal quarantine. In my state what Roscoe describes would be discouraged but not outlawed.

              1. pancakes*

                I wasn’t saying or trying to suggest that what he’s doing is illegal, and regardless of my usage (or yours, for that matter), “quarantine” is not a legal term.

      3. CheeryO*

        That’s a false equivalency, though? Of course the grocery store is riskier, and it will be even more risky as long as people are using the 6-foot thing as a loophole to keep having in-person gatherings.

        1. Roscoe*

          How is it a loophole. We are outside. If I’m walking outside, and someone is 6-10 feet in front of me, am I using that as a loophole in your opinion? I live in an apartment building. Just by checking my mail, taking out the garbage, etc I’m probably exposing myself/others to things more than being 6+ feet away from someone outside.

          1. Ask a Manager* Post author

            You, like many people, have misunderstood the six feet rule. It’s not “everything is fine if you’re six feet apart.” It’s “if you absolutely must go out, staying six feet apart will help minimize risk.” But public health experts still want you avoiding all non-essential trips.

            https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/4agejq/coronavirus-social-distancing-six-foot-rule-misuse

            https://www.nj.com/coronavirus/2020/03/sorry-hanging-out-while-6-feet-apart-isnt-coronavirus-social-distancing-expert-says.html?fbclid=IwAR2BW0C9kchC2kJ6PwUdfeAMMuUr_8ueg-4B8heWEErciExtbPSnMYwJRWs

            And for good measure:

            https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/4agza3/answer-to-all-social-distancing-loophole-questions-is-no

      4. Atalanta0jess*

        The other thing to consider is that as far as I’m aware, length of exposure is significant. When they talk about contract tracing, I’ve heard examples of looking at people who have been exposed to someone with COVID within a 6 foot distance for a length of over 15 minutes. So passing someone at the store is a less likely exposure than spending a significant amount of time with the same person.

      5. Litebrite*

        Just wanted to say, Roscoe, that I’m with you. We’ve done a similar thing with our neighbors and we’re all better off for it, imo.

        1. Roscoe*

          Thank you. It really does help with people’s mental health issues. Its funny, I’ve seen many people who typically would say “take care of your mental health” who now want to ignore that aspect because of things that “could” happen vs. what is actually happening to me now. But I’m single and live alone. I’m not doing great some days. I’ve definitely broken down. That was the pick me up I needed.

          I’d also be willing to wager some of the people who are on the “don’t ever leave your house unless absolutely necessary” side are people with a family living with them and or yards that they can go excercise or enjoy themselves in. Its a lot easier to be on your moral high horse when that is your situation, vs. in an apartment alone

    5. Lizzy May*

      I have a coworker who told me that because the cell phone service is spotty in his house he goes to his parents’ home every day to “work from home.” He’s younger than me but his parents have to be in their 50s. He’s also still going and meeting with clients and coming in to the office every so often. It’s incredibly frustrating and while I don’t know his parents, I’m scared for them.

    6. Another manager*

      The issue I’m having related to this: I am working from home, but supervise staff who have to work on-site. One of them is super-fastidious about hygiene and social distancing. Another one in the same shop thinks the whole thing is silly, so he doesn’t take it seriously.

      The careful one wants to stay home, but get paid anyway, since in his mind, the reason he can’t come to work is because his co-worker is endangering everyone else. He’s complained to the union and our HR department. My usual approach in these cases would be to go to the work site and facilitate a conversation between the conflicting workers. But that would risk furthering the spread of COVID-19. I just lack the mojo to compel these two to resolve their conflict by calling them on the phone. There’s a Skype teleconference scheduled for tomorrow; if that doesn’t resolve the problem, I’m thinking about calling an in-person meeting and having it outdoors, so I can shout at them from 20 feet away …

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        Honestly, like yesterday’s letter, I don’t think this is a “work this conflict out yourselves” situation. Tell the one who’s being reckless that he needs to stop, period.

        1. asterisk*

          I’m aware of a similar situation.

          This place of business is closed to the public, but still has employees working onsite (following social distance guidelines). One employee, however, feels the whole coronavirus thing is being overblown and isn’t doing anything personally to stop the spread, including having family visiting every other weekend from another area. It’s affecting morale at the workplace, as other members of the staff are feeling exposed/compromised by this employee’s attitudes and actions.

          From a performance standpoint, the employee is productive and is following social distancing guidelines while at work, but his/her behaviour off the clock is putting other staff members at risk, and the employer has responsibilities to them, as well. What can the manager legally, sensibly do?

          1. pancakes*

            The other workers are compromised and are having their risk of exposure to virus increased by their coworker’s failure to abide quarantine guidelines, not merely “feeling exposed.” Why wouldn’t the manager take the same disciplinary steps they’d ordinarily take if an employee made a point of antagonizing others and putting them at risk? The behavior happens outside the workplace, yes, but so do many other termination-worthy behaviors. If, for example, the employee was drinking at home before work and picking up coworkers in a company vehicle while intoxicated, there would hopefully be no confusion about that being a big problem. This isn’t much different.

          2. DKMA*

            This version is a hard one. I think there are two choices:
            1) Institute even more on site social distancing policies, so that team members feel (and are) safer even if they are working with someone who may be careless outside the workplace.
            2) Institute policies around not allow access to the building of you have travelled to [Insert clear guidelines] or visited with people who have travelled [Insert clear guidelines] or attended any event with >X people. You may want/need to offer a paid 14-day self-isolation if you create a policy like this though.

            #2 sounds tricky, but I know companies did something similar early in this tragedy with people who travelled to Europe or had household members who had done the same.

    7. MissDisplaced*

      Hm. Well, these examples do not sound like large gatherings by any means. Assuming those friends or family aren’t and haven’t been sick, and have mostly been keeping to themselves or within a small circle of friends and family and are taking washing and disinfecting precautions and not getting too close. I don’t know about the band, maybe they were out in garage and/or have a big space to practice in without getting too close to each other? Kind of depends on what they’re doing and how many.

      It’s still a risk, but maybe not as huge of one like travel or going to more crowded places like the store. If you are a high-risk group for COVID, or have household members who are, then no don’t do that.

      1. Pennyworth*

        We have been told that any contact anywhere will increase the risk, and that sharing an enclosed space is the riskiest. The virus can hang in the air for three hours. You can look up images to see how much visible vapor we breathe out in cold weather. In an enclosed space any virus being exhaled just gets more and more concentrated with each exhalation even if you stay 6 feet apart apart. It can travel a long way in the open too. I once sat in a park with a friend on a very still spring day, and her cigarette smoke stayed in a visible ribbon that slowly traveled about 30 feet before dispersing. Anyone sittng directly downwind would have got a lungful of whatever she had just exhaled.

    8. Diahann Carroll*

      Not coworkers, but my apartment building shut down all of our common areas except the laundry rooms on each floor, and the shut down included our rooftop courtyard. Most people complied, no problem, but last weekend, I saw a couple of people sitting around a table together from my balcony – not remotely six feet apart – and I contacted building management about it. On Monday, they sent maintenance over to our building and they took the tables and chairs away and locked the doors to the courtyard. These damn ignorant ass people are not going to cause an effing outbreak in my building on my watch!

    9. zora*

      Not coworkers, but my upstairs neighbors have been throwing parties every weekend, with at least 8-10 people tromping in and out of the building. I’m so confused about what they are thinking, but we’re staying inside, so I’m not worried about any contact with these people. Just appalled and incapable of wrapping my mind around it.

      1. Diahann Carroll*

        Pray that they don’t become infected and cause an outbreak in your building.

        People are so f%#*ng inconsiderate and entitled.

    10. Retail not Retail*

      People aren’t even doing it at work – sharing vehicles when walking isn’t that hard.

      I also have a 60 something coworker who declared she doesn’t feel fragile so she intends to work even though we can be paid to stay home. Same with the 72 year old. Guys. We could KILL you. Literally.

  28. Diahann Carroll*

    I’m doing okay as long as the weather holds up. I posted in another thread here that the past couple of weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster what with the shelter-in-place order in my state in full effect since mid-March and tornado season swinging in. I had a breakdown a week or so ago when, in the middle of the night before I went to bed, tornado sirens were going off and the winds were knocking everything around outside and the news kept threatening power outages in my area. I spent two hours huddled in my bathroom crying because this combined with this virus was too much. Luckily, my area wasn’t hit, but the state next to me was and power was knocked out at hundreds of locations in my state, but it’s like, seriously? Can we get a damn break here?

    Anyway, my mom made masks for everyone in my family – I believe she mailed my brother and his family some yesterday. She’s bringing mine, and some toilet paper, down to my apartment tomorrow.

    Work is still going even though sales are slow and submission deadlines for proposals keep getting pushed back. I’m very fortunate to still be paid at my full rate (even though our bonuses will be cut by 10% starting in Q2), and my company has set up a disaster relief task force with multiple charities identified for employees to donate to – they’re matching whatever we all end up donating. And apparently some of our more wealthy employees, who want to remain anonymous, are doubling the match to the donations we make. I hope this means employee jobs are secure through the end of the year – my manager is a shareholder in the company and assured me they have enough cash reserves that all 3500+ employees can have their salaries paid out. Don’t know if our benefits (of which the company pays the bulk of) will be safe if this goes on much longer, though.

    1. Jennifer*

      I’m so sorry about your breakdown. We had tornadoes here as well, plus dealing with other health problems. It just feels like too much sometimes.

      I hope you’re feeling better.

      1. Diahann Carroll*

        Thanks, Jennifer. Yesterday we were under a high wind advisory, so that made me a little skittish, but my nerves are starting to settle. I just need to use this weekend to really sleep because I didn’t sleep a wink the night of the storm (which was last week) and have had piss poor sleep ever since. Oh – and then my acid reflux decided to make a reappearance after 8 years of being under control, so I’ve been going through most of my days feeling like I’m thisclose to a heart attack. Thankfully, my OTC omeprazole has started to kick in.

        1. Jennifer*

          I hope things continue to improve. Yoga has been helping me calm my nerves but I know it’s not for everyone.

          1. Diahann Carroll*

            I’ve been doing yoga just about every day for years, and it helps for the time I’m doing it, but not really any other time. It does remind me to breathe, which I guess will come in handy if I do catch the virus.

  29. Gallery Mouse*

    I am grateful for websites like this where people share advice and honestly visiting it on a daily basis gives me a sense of ‘normalcy,’ however the daily anxiety and chest pains (from anxiety) are slowly wearing on me. I am so lucky to have a job during a time like this but I do often resent it because on one hand it allows me to focus on something else, but on the other hand it doesnt allow me to focus on myself and what is going on around me. I’ve never worked longer hours or had so much stress. Part of what makes this job so lonely is that we absorb everyone’s complaints and we dont have anyone to turn to (which is why this site is a blessing!). We have no idea what the new reality will be like in the future.
    On a separate note…what websites is everyone visiting to stay sane? http://www.dlisted.com is back on my radar :)

    1. Blueberry*

      That sounds so difficult. I have nothing to offer but good vibes, but I send those to you!

    2. Kristin*

      Yeah, people talk about how at least they now have free time to do X, Y, and Z, but for a lot of us, it’s not that way. We still have to work, but in a different location, and we still have all the anxiety and stress of the world on us. It’s great that we still have jobs and therefore are more financially stable, but it’s just trading one stress for the other.

      I’ve been watching Bon Appetit videos, mostly! And poking at pintrest.

      1. JustaTech*

        I live for the Bon Appetit videos! The coffee one, especially. I knew Chris would be a total coffee nerd. (In the best possible way.)

      2. Gallery Mouse*

        Ohhh Bon Appetit! I’ll check those out – anything to get a break from the news. Thank you!!

  30. Mazzy*

    I’m trying to be a cool manager and let people be independent adults but I’m seeing too much stuff not getting done and people logged off for hours and it’s starting to make me look bad. Now I need to start managing more actively again. I asked one person if he was having issues with certain things and he said everything was fine. Then why is stuff not getting done. I’m really frustrated because people are now going to think I’m micromanaging but won’t acknowledge that their slacking off half of the day. They’re not realizing I put pressure on management to create on or two of the roles and management wants them to be producing or there is no reason to keep them.

    1. Mediamaven*

      We are having some of that too. Some people are thriving at home and some people are clearly taking advantage. The outcome of this whole experiment for me is that completely virtual work is not conducive to success. I’ve had to had some really serious discussions with some of my staff. But I find that most of them, when they understand how dire the situation is and what my expectations are, start performing better.

      1. Spearmint*

        I wouldn’t assume the less productive people are necessarily taking advantage. The stress of the current situation is hitting some people harder than others. Also, a lot of people find it difficult to focus on work when at home, even if they want to. I have always found it much harder to focus on work when I’m home. This has been true of me from high school onward.

        1. Mazzy*

          “Take advantage” isn’t the best phrase. But I also have some employees who have said that they don’t like being micromanaged and they like to work independently on projects, So four weeks into working from home, they should be able to motivate themselves and force themselves to concentrate to complete at least some things if they still want to keep up that same reputation

          1. Mediamaven*

            Perhaps it’s not the right phrase but my team is very young without a huge amount of responsiblity (no kids, many of them are staying with family) so, it feels a bit like that sometimes. I think they don’t really understand the magnitude of what’s happening right now. I’m only person I know who in our industry hasn’t cut pay, lay people off, all that. But to do that and keep people safe, they have to work. If we lose business because we don’t produce for our clients then that changes. When someone is staying on the clock but disappearing at 2 p.m. for the day it’s not a good look.

            1. shb*

              I manage a similar team (young, no kids/spouses, some staying with family) and they are definitely reporting varying levels of stress/overwhelm/under-productivity. You can’t discount the emotional toll the situation is taking on many people, even those without apparent responsibilities. Further, you don’t know what else they may be dealing with: sick roommate(s), high-risk or sick family members, mental health concerns, etc.

              I appreciate that you have a bottom line to worry about, too, but anyone can be struggling right now. The more understanding and flexible I am with my staff, the more forthcoming and cooperative and hard-working they seem to be.

    2. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd (ENTP)*

      Set up weekly 1-2-1s (with imminent start dates) to track the work.. ahem… “catch up about how you are doing in these times”; bring up the concerns.

      If you are actually seeing “people logged off for hours” and the lack of accomplishing things is reflecting on your team/dept as a whole — you have more than enough standing to address it now!

      It isn’t “micromanaging” to address the issue that a lot of stuff isn’t getting done and you want to understand why.

    3. LCS*

      I’m normally pretty hands off in terms of day to day management of their tasks – I’ve got a fairly mature professional team – but since we went to full WFH I’ve requested a weekly Monday e-mail from everyone on their key items to accomplish for the week, and a Friday update to account for how they made out against those weekly goals. I don’t care when or how it gets done, and I recognize that 40+ hours is likely unrealistic for most right now with kids home and other stressors, but it’s a good way to put the ownership on them to make sure at least the big rock type items are progressing. If I see on Monday that they’re not being ambitious enough I can intervene early and make sure a couple items get added to the list.

      The template I’ve asked them to use also has a couple questions around things like stress level, family, connectivity/tech issues etc. so also a good opportunity to understand the full magnitude of barriers (if any) to make sure I’m being sensitive to that, and make sure we’re creating a weekly plan together that’s workable.

      It’s not perfect but I’m finding it to be a decent system so far.

    4. Sally Cat*

      I’m seeing the same thing with one employee. Just not logging in and doing what she should be doing. My other two are doing great as we figure out how to do parts of their jobs from home. We’ve figured out it’s much easier to do theirs in the office where we can ask each other questions more easily and have everything we need, but are making the best of it.

      This has been really hard on me because I’m the only one coming in to do the things that have do be done in the office. That means that I’m having to do about half of what they normally do like open mail and make deposits. Then I have to get the parts they can do from home to them. We’re a nonprofit and are in the middle of implementing a strategic plan too and my board chair doesn’t understand why we can’t be full steam ahead. I’m dead tired and I know many of our other volunteers are too.

  31. KayDeeAye*

    I’m actually doing fairly well. My at-home office set-up isn’t perfect, but it’s not bad, either. I needed some things to make it more comfortable and functional (I’d mostly used it pretty casually up until the plague hit), and fortunately, I realized this Day 1 (3/17), ordered them right away, and got them within a week or so. As those of you who have tried to order home office stuff have noticed, there was a time when such things weren’t easy to obtain! I hope that’s eased off now.

    My productivity is also pretty good – most of my job is writing and editing, and I can do that from home easily, for the most part.

    What is a problem is internet speed – what I have at home is MUCH slower than what I have at the office, which is a problem because I do have to work with some large files (such as photos and big PDFs), and large files make my company laptop, my wifi or my VPN (or possibly all three) very cranky. And slow. So slow. So very very very slow.

    But otherwise, things are going pretty well, so I feel fortunate. There are things about working from home that I’m really going to miss once this is all over (though my home wifi isn’t one of them).

    1. NotAPirate*

      My desk chair has a busted arm. That’s not a problem for casual use. But nine to six in it is killing me. I rebuilt it with cardboard and duct tape, we’ll see how long it lasts. I miss my work computer, it was so much faster than my 10 year old personal laptop. My boss offered the first week in April for me to go in and borrow my desktop PC from the office, but that’s an hour commute in public transit and things are bad here so I am muddling through.

    2. LawLady*

      I’m so thankful I already had a good home setup. I already worked a fair bit from home in the evenings and on weekends, but now I’m spending 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, and having my amenities be decent is absolutely saving me.

      For people looking for at-home office chairs, I would highly recommend a gaming chair. They’re built for people to play video games for hours on end, and though I don’t play video games, I really appreciate that my chair has lumbar support, has a lot of adjust-ability, etc.

  32. Ijustwant2go2target*

    I am still going into work, as my position is essential. We are health care, but it is mental health facility (so no sick people). Parts of our organization have been laid off/furloughed until things calm down. I feel a bit guilty, but know I need to keep coming into to my part. Its hard being the only one to leave the house. My kids are going a bit nuts, not getting to see their peers and only spending time with each other. I am tired of my house, not being able to leave (except for work). I was actually doing ok up until this week. I am cranky, tired and stressed. I feel like every tickle cough or sneeze could be co-vid. I hope this week and next week my state peaks so we can see a down turn.

    1. KayDeeAye*

      My oldest friend also works with the mentally ill, so she’s considered essential, too. It’s hard on her, I know, so cyberhugs from me, if you want them!

  33. Jennifer*

    I just got a phone interview for tomorrow! I probably won’t get it but it’s reassuring to know there are some people hiring in my field. Just throwing some hope out there for those who need it.

  34. Anon for this*

    I’ve been furloughed for almost a month, and there’s a possibility the position will be totally eliminated. Here’s the problem: I am applying to medical school next year, which (unless things are totally shaken up in the fall, which is a possibility) will require me to take time off to fly to interviews. I was working at a place where a lot of people in my position go to healthcare grad school and it’s expected and understood that this time off will be granted. I’m applying to other jobs now, but I’m worried now that I’m applying to other jobs that (1) it will be reasonably obvious from my previous experience that this is my plan and I’ll only be around for a year, so there won’t be any point hiring me, and (2) that even if I get hired, I’ll have issues getting time off for interviews. Any advice?

    1. Brainstorming*

      I think there is a strong possibility that you will see changes to the medical school application process, including the possibility of interviewing virtually. I wouldn’t worry too much right now about the potential issues surrounding time off for those. Instead, focus on your applications and especially your cover letters. Think about it this way: how can your previous experience allow you to shine in these new roles? You might be putting more stock in your experience making leaving for medical school obvious than those reviewing your application will, particularly if you don’t make that the emphasis.

    2. coffeeandpearls*

      Med schools will not comment on this publicly at this stage since they hope to not have to do this (and the logistics of this are intensely complicated) – but they will move the interviews online if they have to. Committees in any case will also be forced to be more understanding of non-medically related work experience for the next year as many medical experiences are barred to students and prospective applicants right now. Even medical students can’t report to their clinical sites right now.

    3. Signe*

      I’m a doc who’s heavily involved in both her residency’s interview season and that of our attached med school. We’re making plans for both interview seasons to be virtual. There’s always the chance that we won’t have to implement those plans, but we are all expecting that we will.

  35. not_kate_winslet*

    I work in Public Health, and am technically “essential.” I supervise a team that normally does outreach and training to local health departments and the hospitality industry. My team has now all been reassigned to COVID-19 response roles, so I’m covering most of their regular work (the work that still exists anyway). The workload is technically manageable most days, but I’m working from home and having quite a bit of guilt about my staff needing to report to the office at the Health Department for their response roles.
    I sleep like crap, I drink too much, and my house is falling into squalor. It’s not fun times. I try to get out for a walk every day, but we’ve had a recent cold snap and the idea of walking outside when ice pellets are falling from the sky, while trying to avoid the runners huffing and puffing, is just too much to handle right now.

    1. NotAPirate*

      Instead of a walk, can you bundle up and sit in front of an open & sunny window for 15minutes a day? I read for vitamin D it’s better to get direct sunlight if you can (no glass).

      1. Atalanta0jess*

        I live in a split level, and try to just open the front door and step out onto the front stoop when I pass by. It helps.

      2. not_kate_winslet*

        I live on the first floor of a big ‘ol Victorian house, so I don’t get a lot of sunlight. But the weather is improving now, so hopefully my mood will too.

  36. Brett*

    I brought this up on the post a few days ago about flexibility for parents (who included all the product owners) at a small tech company.

    I’m noticing some distinct changes in pattern in agile workflows from everyone working at home.

    Standups are getting a lot easier to maintain. Our teams are doing such a great job with standups now, that they are considering switching to all online standups even after people are back in the office.

    Retros are harder. A lot harder. Tools just are not good enough to create the same experience as in-person retrospectives.

    Engineers are much more effective. Part of it is that the number of meetings has declined (because people are not used to online meetings, so they don’t do them unless they have to). But also, they don’t have to worry about drop by conversations. Everything is on slack (including slack calls) which doesn’t have the same immediacy as someone dropping by your cube. As a result, they are spending longer dedicated blocks working on development and getting more work done.
    From my perspective, as a principal engineer for several teams, it has also made it easier for me to work on longer non-development tasks and documents.

    But our product owners, scrummasters, and similar roles are suffering. Anything that requires getting a lot of people to talk together or talking to a lot of people to achieve goals. Their work is just so much more difficult when all of it is remote, and they are falling behind.

    I just thought the interesting part was watching our engineers take off in a work from home situation, and seeing standups become so much easier when that’s a ceremony that was always thought of as in-person focused.

    1. Alexandria*

      This is really interesting. I’m surprised that standups are going better – are they just more defined / faster?

      I totally get that this may work better for engineers. But the whole point is that the scrum master and product owners work is super important to actually getting anything out the door, so what works best for engineers might not actually be better for the company as a whole.

      1. Feline*

        I’m in an org that is transforming to Agile right now. Very painfully. So it colors my perception of this significantly.

        But shouldn’t a spike in productivity levels make management stop and think about what the engineers need to perform most productively and consider how to give them those things on a more regular basis to get more out of them? I don’t mean a shift to work from home, but at least give them walls instead of sticking them in an open concept? This seems like a really good example of how the work environment itself has grown to be a significant impediment. Yet companies use Agile as an excuse to remove walls and to put teams all up in each other’s faces with no personal space.

        1. Brett*

          You can have walls with agile and don’t need an open floor plan (unless you are doing mob programming).
          All of our engineers have cubes at minimum, and some even have offices. They still saw a ramp up in productivity when everyone shifted to work from home.

          But I think this shift is productivity is coming at a cost of a loss of productivity in other levels, and like Alexandria pointed out, that loss of productivity might more than offset any gains at the engineering level.

        2. TechWorker*

          I lead a team of engineers and don’t think we’ve seen the same spike in productivity, quite the opposite. It might depend how how collaborative the work is & how senior your team is, but it’s definitely harder for the junior folks to get answers to their quick questions that normally would just be answered by someone overhearing from 2 desks over.

        1. Alexandria*

          Yes I agree that in general engineers could take more responsibility, not in terms of programming, but in other areas

      3. Brett*

        I think the standups are going better because we don’t have open floor plans and not all our engineers sit together (about 1/3rd were remote already). So a lot of time was spent getting everyone in a room, dialing into the meeting, taking notes, etc. It could take 5-10 minutes just to get a 10 minute standup started up, and people would just stay at their desk and skip too often.

        Now, everyone just calls in from where they are, note taking is built into the process, and the meeting is up and running within a minute or two. It seems to be less disruptive for our devs and the meetings flow smoother.

    2. sofar*

      It’s funny because our increased reliance on Slack is actually making me LESS productive. In our very large office space, people had to think about whether it was worth it to come to my desk (or whether it was better to wait until the next twice-weekly check-in meeting to bring something up). Now that most of those check-in meetings aren’t taking place (because so many people have kids at home, making meetings impossible), and coming to my desk isn’t an option, people are Slacking about every little thing. The alerts are making me insane.

      I have tried muting for a few hours to get things done. I have tried only checking Slack every hour. But then the 20+ notifications I come back to are daunting. And, sometimes, people do Slack me about important things that need to happen right away — and it gets lost in the deluge.

      1. Brett*

        I think what you describe is what is happening to our product owners and similar people. They are now more slack and less meetings, when they need to be more meetings and less slack. They end up with too much slack noise across dozens of channels that would be easy to cut through with an appropriate meeting. Meanwhile, the typical engineer is getting 1-2 notifications per hour and can stick to 3-4 channels.

    3. Jostling*

      That’s so interesting! We are not an Agile shop but I have noticed the same from our engineers – to the extent that I feel bad interrupting them with said “drive-by” questions, even virtually. It’s definitely been harder getting answers from some folks without the threat of “don’t make me walk over there,” convening groups to work collaboratively (vs. routine check-ins/standups), and being aware of internal goings on without the visual social cues of seeing people head into a conference room.

    4. dealing with dragons*

      we have a lot of remote workers so our stand ups were already virtual. I think I’m noticing the same thing with engineers (product owner here) in that there aren’t walk ups so there’s more uninterrupted work……but, now that everyone else is on slack people are just messaging IT people (my department) instead of following processes. And right now it’s hard to tell if requests are “if we don’t have this we can’t generate revenue” or “wow this would be so cool to do!!”

      for us, we have 6 teams and 2 scrum masters and three product owners to go around. another train was also heavily furloughed so some of our scrum masters are doing double duty. each PO has 2 teams and scrum masters have 3-4 teams. It’s crazy.

      There’s also growing pains for us because deadlines haven’t shifted, so even though we have 60% of the workforce we had, they’re still expecting the same level of support ticket coverage and project work. I am fighting to give leadership realistic expectations but then they go behind my back to resources directly and have them do secret work I don’t know about. But the deadlines are the same for everything else.

    5. Tau*

      It is super interesting you say that about stand-ups, because I feel like ours are way less productive, take longer than they did before, and by the end I regularly feel like an animal ready to gnaw off a limb to escape from the trap. It’s like everyone has this worry in the back of their mind that people will think they’re slacking off, so instead of the brief “working on X right now” they give this super-detailed play-by-play of everything they did the day before. Of course, my stand-up also consists of nearly twenty people, which is its own can of worms.

      I also feel less productive as an engineer overall, which is partially me not being very suited to WFH (whyyy the executive function problems) but I think there’s also a loss on the engineering side if you can’t talk to product owners etc. Like, I can manage to bang out some code, but I can no longer stop by the PO’s desk to ask “uh, this feature, are you sure you want it like this? because implementing it I am seeing XYZ issues with that.” Agreed, though, that I’ve managed some lengthy super-productive coding sessions which I would probably not have been able to swing in the office without being interrupted. Although not as many as I could have because my company did not reduce meetings but instead turned all of them into video calls, and I’m finding it a lot harder to get back into my coding groove after a video call than a face-to-face meeting.

      1. Brett*

        It definitely sounds like you have the wrong people in standup. You need a small group of just your peer engineers. And 20 is way too many. (I think our biggest standup is 5 people out of a larger team of 50+.)

        That sounds a lot more like my monthly roadmap meetings than any sort of standup. Those do not work well virtually compared to in-person. I bet your POs are going to burn out super fast, because it sounds like they could be too deep into the engineering side.

      2. TechWorker*

        The play-by-play in stand-up kills me, it’s meant to be for things you need other people to care about, not a detailed description of your day. We have way fewer people in ours but also it’s totally acceptable and normal for people to say ‘this doesn’t sound like stand-up, let’s discuss after’ if we’re getting off track. It’s a bit harder to cut people off mid flow if they’re really into their description of what needs doing but the lead can always have a quiet word after…

  37. High School Teacher*

    I live in an apartment and have very noisy upstairs neighbors. They have a small child who throws a lot of tantrums – screeching at the top of their lungs, blood-curdling shrieks, more than just crying. I have to deal with that during the day, and then they also have very loud sex at weird times.

    Normally I just ignore it and use a white noise machine or turn up the TV, but I am teaching high schoolers virtually, and they could hear the child’s tantrum today. I am terrified that they will hear sex sounds eventually. I am starting to get really, really fed up with this. I understand we are all quarantined but these neighbors are really throwing off my whole day. My boyfriend says there isn’t really anything that can be done about it.

    What do you guys think I should do? Also, I’ve tried working in different areas of the apartment, but they are all over their apartment too.

    1. soup*

      It sounds like it’s more or less out of your control. I think the most you can do is write to the neighbors very nicely and explain that you teach high schoolers virtually in XY hours, and you would appreciate if they’re able to limit loud noises during those times. If they’re considerate, they’ll try. If they’re not considerate, you did your best.

    2. Elizabeth the Ginger*

      You might experiment with different mic options, if you have them. I’ve been teaching with my earbuds-with-built-in-microphone because I think they pick up less ambient noise than the mic built into my laptop and so hopefully my students are less likely to hear my three-year-old “resting”.

      I also second the note to the neighbors. There may be little they can do about the toddler, so you might want to nod to that in your note, but they can control how much noise the adults make doing adult things.

    3. blepkitty*

      I agree with the others about a note. I’d leave off the child, since I sincerely doubt they have any control over that (and are probably terribly distressed by it themselves), but most people would knock off their loud sex during school hours knowing that a whole class full of high schoolers might hear it. If that doesn’t work, complain to the leasing office.

      A microphone close to your mouth can help cut down on ambient noise being picked up, but beware that if you’re a noisy breather, everyone will hear that instead.

    4. Roscoe*

      Honestly, not much. To me this is a bit different than the question about the musician, because you can’t really control a kids tantrum. Depending on your relationship with them, you can mention how “thin the walls are” and hope they take the hint. But if the problem is really that there isn’t much sound insulation and they arent screaming like monkeys while having sex, it is kind of part of apartment living. Sure, you can tell them certain times that would be ideal for them NOT to have sex, but that is about it.

    5. NotAPirate*

      I wouldn’t tell them you teach and the hours. People retaliate sometimes, and you don’t want them to start deliberately being loud. Also, it’s not like the toddler will agree to tantrum on schedule. If you teach high schoolers, well they’ve had puberty, so at least you don’t have to explain what’s going on. Can you create some plans for quick changes in lessons if the neighbors do start having loud adults, like a video that could be shown or asking them to discuss something (so you can mute yourself). Worst case scenario you could just fake a internet disconnect. Actually, might be good plan to have internet disconnect plans anyway – we’ve had outages here.

      Seconding the advice on trying headphones with mics, I’ve had decent luck with one not picking up the loud construction next door. Headphones have the bonus of making your own background noise less apparent to you as well. If you are waiting on one in the mail, try a normal corded headphone in the mic jack. Some older computers will let that function as a microphone. You could also try using computer video but calling in with your phone for audio, most phones have options for filtering background noises.

      At the end of the day, if the worst case scenario does happen it’s a teaching moment. Here’s how we react when people are obnoxious, with kindness and compassion and embarrassment on their behalf. Their loudness doesn’t reflect poorly on you. A lot of your students may have younger tantrum-y siblings too.

    6. 00ff00Claire*

      The weird sex times – surely those noises are generally coming from the same area of the apartment??? – so maybe prioritize staying away from where those noises originate and just dealing with the screaming child the way you would a really bad thunderstorm or the marching band could only practice in the hallway if you were still at your school building? A child who is often screeching and shrieking at the top of their lungs might be doing so because of a developmental or language delay. Would it help to reframe that noise if you assume that is the situation (even if it isn’t) and that the parents don’t really have any control over it?

      Think through what you can reasonably do, then do it, and then if it continues to come up as an irritation remind yourself that you have done everything you can. To me, the hardest part of the situation would be the fact that the root – the noises – are really out of my control. I’ve found that just thinking through what I can control and then implementing my plan, even if it only has a minimal impact, often relieves some of the stress caused by something that is out of my control. Good luck!

  38. ynotlot*

    Do any healthcare workers, especially hospital nurses, read this blog? I’m wondering because I’ve seen a lot of questions and comments where it’s clear there’s an information disconnect and many people don’t realize what is happening in hospitals right now. My sister is a med/surg nurse caring for COVID patients and they have been forced to work without adequate PPE. When they have refused and asked for proper PPE, the hospital has fired them and then lied to the press about it. It’s one thing to have a PPE shortage, it’s another thing to actively, openly illegally fire your staff for reporting unsafe working conditions. Yes, they all have complaints in to OSHA and yes, every single one of these hospitals will lose these cases (unless there is literally zero justice in the world), but that doesn’t help in the moment.
    It’s crazy to talk about reopening things when we still don’t have enough PPE and tests. Until we have enough tests to test everyone (or at least all healthcare workers) and enough PPE that they CAN do their jobs, nothing is going to change.
    The doctors and other staff are on their side. Doctors have also been fired for speaking up in defense of giving nurses the correct PPE. Most recently, her hospital closed down her entire floor (which has only had COVID patients for several weeks) for asking for N95s for nurses. Moved all the patients onto another, more crowded floor.
    One of her long term patients passed away, alone in quarantine on a day when she was off. She cried for an entire day.
    All my progressive friends are ignoring this for some reason. They are posting about how landlords are robber barons, internet access for homeschooling kids, giving out meals, sewing inadequate fabric PPE, complaining about how bored they are – and don’t care at all that nurses are dying on the frontlines. Not a peep about PPE or nurses. Not even a like on my posts about it.
    I let my employer know early on that my sister was on the frontlines, she and her bf are both nurses, and they literally fear for their lives because healthy doctors and nurses have been dying due to inadequate PPE and high viral load exposures. I lobbied to let our staff work from home, since they can do so. My employer told me not to bother her with this, it is ‘too much’, and I was overstepping. We are mostly all still going into the office. And NO ONE, not one single person, has bothered to ask about my sister and if she’s okay, even though they all know her situation.
    I don’t why it seems like no one cares. It really, really, really hurts.

    1. Book Lover*

      This is very location dependent. It is entirely possible it seems like people don’t care because they don’t realize it is happening in some areas. In my part of the country there are not enough cases to cause strain on resources and while we are being careful with PPE we do not have a shortage. Here the focus has been more on the economic impact and health anxiety, rather than on immediate issues like hospitals overflowing or physicians and nurses working without PPE.

      I think there was a reporter who was interested in hearing stories about businesses that aren’t handling things ethically – maybe contact her? The info should be in a prior post.

      1. MissGirl*

        Yes, this is very true. Our hospitals are currently emptier than ever and some staff hours have been cut. We actually just sent 100 healthcare staff to New York to help out. We also have a robust tech and manufacturing area that’s converted operations to producing masks and plastic protective gear.

        They’re asking anyone with the mildest of symptoms to come get tested because we have a plethora of tests.

        You have my sympathy because what your family is facing SHOULD NOT happen ever. But I don’t think your friends are obtuse or unsympathetic, I think they are seeing the tangible things that affect them most.

        Right now my area is more worried about the economic impact. I don’t know anyone whose gotten sick but I know several people who have lost their jobs. I realize how lucky we are that we’re mostly healthy.

        Find emotional support where you can but don’t write ofF everyone for not responding in a way you want them to.

      2. Harriet Vane*

        I agree — this would seem to be a localized phenomenon, and the appropriate outlet for sharing might be the local news media (TV station, etc). Unclear whether your sister is interested in speaking to the media herself (and given her workload–both regular and emotional–as well as a fear of potential retribution, it is understandable that she may not feel up to doing so right now), but the media may be interested in pursuing, particularly those who have been fired for speaking out. Wishing peace to you, and to your sister.

    2. Anonymous again*

      Health care worker here. We’re re-using ppe in ways that we would have been disciplined for doing before. We all know to change gloves/masks/gowns at each step of a particular process, but now we have to fight the automatic reaction of throwing things away. It’s bizarre. And conversely, when one coworker decided to wear a mask all shift a few weeks ago she disciplined for it – then a week later we got a company-wide email saying that anybody can wear a mask all day if they want to.

      I work for one of the hospital chains that’s in the news for firing healthcare workers who complained. The big media push about how they’re in the right is also being blasted to us employees. There are emails about how they care about our health and safety and they’re doing everything to protect us. The firings spoke much louder than the emails. I don’t know of anybody complaining publicly now.

    3. Blueberry*

      How your sister and her colleagues are being treated is absolutely atrocious, and I am very, very sorry. FWIW, I am not on Facebook, but my friends and I have shared information on sending the PPE we happened to have at home to our local hospitals.

      This is not a justification, but it may be a reason: your coworkers may be terrified of what answer they hear if they ask about your sister. I’m remembering times when I knew coworkers were worried for people in their lives, and there were times I couldn’t bear to ask how those people were doing for fear of bad news, for fear of making my coworkers think about the bad news they’d have to give. I really hope that, whatever the reason, people include your sister and her coworkers in their thoughts and that they ask you how she is, and I really hope the answer will be as good as possible. May she and everyone get through this unscathed.

    4. Sleepy*

      I’m very sorry about your sister. It’s terrible that she has to work in those conditions, and it’s definitely hurtful to have her efforts be forgotten, and to have your workplace actually making the situation worse by not following social distancing guidelines.

      I was incredibly scared for my father at the beginning of this–he’s a semi-retired physician but in a high-risk group himself so if he were called in to work, it could get really bad. It was definitely hurtful when coworkers checked in on others’ family members but not mine.

      I think a lot of people are retreating into a fantasy bubble in this situation. Everyone I know is playing some type of alternate reality video game–The Sims, Stardew Valley, or Animal Crossing. I get it–it’s a coping mechanism I also use sometimes. Acknowledging that this is actually a life or death situation for people like your sister would puncture that bubble.

    5. Ashley*

      My industry is running at minimum capacity but to open back up we need PPE under everyday conditions. I hate the thought we are going to open back up and take needed PPE from the front lines.

    6. Misty*

      I’m so sorry to hear this. That must be incredibly difficult to worry about your sister’s safety at her job. I will be keeping her and you in my thoughts this week.

    7. EmilyAnn*

      You seem to have a lot going on emotionally and you’re hearing directly from your sister about horrible conditions. It sounds terrible and horrifying. When things happen and you feel like you’re getting inadequate support, in the relationships that matter, you call people and you tell them what you need. If they’re your friends they’ll give it to you. You seem frustrated that your “progressive” friends aren’t aware of these issues and posting about them. Posting is not solving a problem, so if you can think of ways they can help, let them know.

      I am so sorry you’re unable to work from home. That is wrong and irresponsible of your employer.

    8. wtd*

      My best friend is a doctor, so we’ve talked about a lot of this. But I do wonder — what do the nurses expect the hospitals to do? There’s a shortage of PPE. They likely cannot purchase enough to adequately protect the staff. They can’t refuse patients, they can’t magically make more PPE… what’s the right answer?

      Maybe there’s more PPE out there that the hospitals could buy but choose not too — I don’t know, as I don’t work in medicine and my friend’s hospital isn’t to that point yet (although she knows that once they get the surge they will not have adequate supplies). I am deeply upset by the idea of calling medical personnel heroes when they’re real people who deserve adequate PPE, not being dismissed as noble saviors making the ultimate sacrifice who would gladly choose to die on the front lines. But it seems like a problem that’s too late to correct this time. What’s the right response?

      2. Leslie Yep*

        Maybe not firing them for speaking out for a start? Letting them wear inadequate homemade PPE would be another step (yes, some places are letting them do this already, but plenty aren’t and it’s disgusting)

    9. Diahann Carroll*

      I hope your sister and her boyfriend stay healthy, and I’m sorry the people in your life don’t seem to care about their safety. My apartment community is putting together a slide show of letters for our local hospitals thanking them for their service – we know it’s not much since we can’t help with the PPE shortage (our governor has our local breweries and manufacturers sterilizing cloth and surgical masks to deliver to medical facilities across the state now), but we just want them to know that we appreciate them risking their lives, not by choice either, to keep the rest of us safe.

    10. N*

      I do think a lot of people don’t understand. I have relatives in health care in direct patient care positions (including my sister) who are very much affected by this, but those who don’t don’t necessarily hear about it. It varies so much from hospital to hospital and a lot of people have been gagged in talking to the media. Even my husband who has a lot of close friends who are doctors doesn’t really know what is happening aside from what I share with him. I have also been working at the hospital (I usually work in a clinic, but we have been thrown into a hospital “labor pool”) and have done some work supporting supply distribution…I think it’s hard to know about this stuff unless you’re seeing it directly. The PPE issue is dire. I hope your sister is doing as okay as she can.

    11. Willow*

      My local hospital has suspended nurses for refusing to work on COVID patients without N95 masks (which the hospital has).

    12. ..Kat..*

      I am sorry about your sister and her boyfriend. I am also a bedside nurse. I am lucky that I am in a union. We are protected from being fired for the reasons you mention. It is still stressful, we don’t have enough PPE, but at least we don’t have our very jobs under threat.

      My heart breaks for the patients who are alone except for the bedside nurses and other staff. I work in a children’s unit, so patients are allowed one adult visitor per day. But, this puts a lot of stress on the one visitor who is at the bedside. And the visitors cannot get together in the common areas (like waiting rooms and cafeterias ) like they did preCOVID19 – they used to provide a lot of support for each other.

      As an aside, I hope that the people who opted out of paying union dues will reconsider after seeing how our non-union brethren are being treated.

    13. Leslie Yep*

      Your comments are spot on. My company (before I was laid off) wasn’t doing anything meaningful to slow the spread until they were forced to by a stay at home order. My boss couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to attend standup meetings with 30ppl shoved into a small room, etc.

      I have several family members who are nurses/doctors and it’s disturbing what they’re being forced to make do with, and they’re not even in the hardest hit cities. My nurse family member has been told she can’t wear homemade PPE, but they won’t give her even a surgical mask. If she works with an immunocompromised patient, they get ONE set of PPE for all health workers assigned to that patient to share. This means that sometimes she’s putting on masks and gowns worn by respiratory therapists who have been on covid floors! The hospital admins are clearly only concerned about patient deaths and not worker deaths with this policy.

      The family member who works in the ER at least gets one n95 for the whole shift, but that’s their only protection and they’re regularly intubating (re: droplets flying everywhere) covid patients. Some of the nurses got fed up and purchased ponchos (that they end up reusing).

      I do have friends who are talking about this, but when I suggest they call their government reps and senators, somehow the subject always gets changed awfully quickly. The government and hospital administrators everywhere have a lot of health worker deaths to answer for and I’m terrified that my family members are going to end up a part of that count.

    14. Anonymous This Time*

      I work in a large health system. Usually I’m in the office but earlier in the pandemic, I moved to work that did have an exposure risk for a short period (I volunteered) and we were using the same PPE for the whole shift, which was not good. My system is rationing PPE, so that only some workers get N95 masks. We’re so short on PPE that every day, they collect it, decontaminate it and then re-distribute it. We now require all employees on campus to wear a surgical mask at work (makes sense in a healthcare system) and will not allow employees to substitute homemade cloth masks because there isn’t enough information about how effective then are (also makes sense, plus they’re non-standard so they’ll vary mask t mask. My division (I don’t know if it’s company-wide) is allowing people to work from home but they’re making it difficult. We are expected to keep up pre-pandemic productivity, there are a lot of requirements to document what we’ve done and some people have been required to provide a doctor’s note to prove they should work from home. Every day that I wear a mask at work, I feel a pang of guilt that I’m taking PPE from someone at my company who interacts with patients and can’t work from home. I’ve compromised by working from home when I can, and coming in when I’m required, but it still bothers me a lot.
      As for people around you not seeming to care, I also see this. I think it has to do with people being scared, not really understanding what is going on and fitting their experiences into their general political outlook. I have a lot of progressive friends who are spending a ton of time posting stuff about people being harmed economically by the pandemic, malevolent landlords, and profiteering. When I see something about people getting exposed at work, inevitably it’s about Amazon workers, who do have a higher risk, but are still at far lower risk than healthcare workers. (A far left friend has been relentlessly posting about how this is pandemic is entirely the fault of capitalism.) And yes, a lot of stuff about how they’re making masks. I would be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me. I can say that most people realize that healthcare workers with direct patient contact have a greater risk of infection, but they do not realize how much greater that risk is. And for some reason, no matter how many times you explain this to some people, they do not understand.
      If someone wasn’t interested in public health before this pandemic, it’s going to be hard to get them to focus on the that now. I’ve been talking to my progressive friends for years about health disparities and the importance of raising pay for nursing assistants and home health aides, but those weren’t the kind of causes they were intereted in. When Anthony Fauci mentioned racial and ethnic disparities in the serious illness adn deaths related to the coronavirus, they posted some stuff about that for a day and then went back to normal. Healthcare and public health was just not causes they were interested in or comfortable with advocating for. It still does bother me a lot too that even in the middle of a pandemic, my friends are spendign a ton of time on facebook going on about the economic damage without mentioning the danger that healthcare workers are in. I think a part of it is that people are scared and the economic effects are less scary than dying of Covid-19 and they have an easily identifiable villain. (Even if you disagree with them — landlords can’t pay their property taxes and the people they employ if they don’t collect at least a certain portion of the rent.)
      I really hope your sister and her coworkers are okay. There is no excuse for failing to provide employees with PPE and firing employees for advocating for other employees to have sufficient PPE.

  39. Jenn*

    I’ve been remote from home in my position before this started. The hardest adjustment for me is having my husband home 24/7 and working. We have different office spaces set up but we throw each other’s routines off. I miss those moments when I could dash out to pick something up for lunch or grab a coffee-those were times to get out and clear my head a bit.

    I am lucky that I feel closer to my team via video meetings 2 times a day.

    1. AvonLady Barksdale*

      Yup, routine is totally thrown off. He’s always AROUND. And he needs some of the stuff that’s in my office, so it’s tough to get true alone time. And he’s always on the sofa (that’s his workspace)! And he drinks all the coffee. I have taken to spending some afternoons with my laptop in the bedroom with the door closed.

    2. Sleepy*

      That was weird for me at first too. It took some time to adjust, but now I appreciate being able to see my husband more than I was before due to his super long commute. However, we’re trying to keep a lid on the together time during work hours–we take different lunch breaks, for example.

    3. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      We had to set a rule that my husband (who is now WFH 2 days a week and onsite the other three, because that’s their risk reduction solution, I hate his management) isn’t allowed out of his home office during his work hours except for brief trips to grab food or use the restroom or whatnot, because left to his own devices, he sets up in my living room with his work laptop open to Outlook and plays his x-box all day while he keeps an eye on his email, only then he’s “too busy working” to pause his game and get up and do things like let the dog in or out, so I have to do it even though I’m actually working. :P If he’s secluded in his office upstairs, then as far as I know he’s actually working all day (and if not, I have no idea, plausible deniability) and he doesn’t get on my nerves near so much.

  40. Threeve*

    My nonprofit has been 100% on telework for a month. We were unprepared for the transition, and have made very little improvement between Day 1 and Day 30. One of the directors has “stepped up” to coordinate things, but the trust the less-than-technologically-competent executives place in him has definitely been the result of his confidence, not competence.

    So he’s somehow snaked his way into “managing” all his peers, and doing it very badly; he changes his mind about procedures every few days and only announces his new decisions via call with other directors–he won’t share anything with lower-level employees directly, and he won’t put anything in writing.

    1. ynotlot*

      OMG, sounds like the nonprofit I used to work at. Execs ‘hoarding’ information like it’s toilet paper.

  41. Ruby314*

    I like working at home and am usually really good at it. But my mind has been so scattered with anxiety. My biggest issue has been my neighbors being noisy. Not like, “I can hear them talking or loud TV” noisy, but “starting a week-long construction project adding a new sunroom to the back of their house and sawing and nailing all day” kind of noisy. Also, two different people leaving dogs outside for the whole day yesterday and I swear they didn’t stop barking for more than 10 seconds in 6 hours. This is all happening within 25 feet of me sitting at my desk because I live in an urban area with rowhouses that each have a little patch of concrete out back. I think I might grind down my molars clenching my jaw because this is only bound to get worse as the weather gets warmer. OK /rant

    1. Alexandria*

      Omg that sunroom would be so annoying. I get that they are totally able to do that now when they can’t do much else, but I’d also want to say something about at least limiting their hours.

    2. thatoneoverthere*

      Depending on where you live you maybe able to file a noise complaint about the dogs. Or the fact they are outside all day.

    3. ynotlot*

      I live in a studio in a rowhome and it can get loud in the best of times. We have a scream-laugher, a video game shouter, a guitar strummer, and a really really squeaky bed (ok that last one is me and I feel terrible). Recently, I noticed that a trumpeter has joined our midst. Having read the post from a musician on here the other day, I’m sympathetic to the trumpet player because it’s probably their job and they need to practice. Our trumpet player has blessed us by keeping their practice within daylight hours.
      I’m holding it together but if we get a saxophone player or if someone gets a chatty parrot, I will be upset.

      1. just a random teacher*

        Does this mean I shouldn’t use my non-existent “spare time” during quarantine to teach my parrot to play the saxophone? *Cancels Amazon order for parrot-sized saxophone*

  42. Miriam*

    Every week I work less because if I don’t my own and my child’s mental health will suffer greatly. That 80 hours extra (at 2/3 pay because it’s “only” keeping another human alive and educated and protecting mental health, not physical health, FFS…) is not going to last very long. It may last until the end of our current stay at home order, but hahahahaha. Like that’s not going to be extended. Like summer camps aren’t going to be cancelled.

    It’s nice to still have a job, and one that keeps me out of harm’s way. My spouse is still going in, though, so that feels like a ticking time bomb.

    I don’t know whether to invest in office furniture (which I won’t want when this is over because we live in a small space) or to hope I get furloughed. If people really are getting that extra $600 a week on unemployment my unemployment take home would be more than I usually make. And I know it’s even more so for people who work low paying essential jobs, like grocery workers. While the price differential of being able to make more while not working (and running myself ragged) vs. working is annoying to me, it is downright cruel when it comes to cashiers making $10 an hour in harm’s way and also not getting that extra money. This is all so forked up.

  43. DJ*

    Today is officially a month since I was laid off. My spouse is still getting their PhD stipend, I’ll hopefully be getting unemployment benefits soon, and we were already planning on moving in with a relative at the beginning of summer so I’m not worried about finances.

    I am worried about where my career trajectory goes from here, though. I had helped create a position for myself that was (hopefully) going to get funded in the new fiscal year, and now that my nonprofit has moved to furloughing full-timers as well (it was just us part-timers to start) I’m not optimistic that it will go through. I’m applying for other jobs, but I’m not hopeful. And on top of all that, I’m 11 weeks pregnant. So add the normal pressures of job searching while pregnant to all of this. I’m worrying about how this layoff impacts my eligibility for paid family leave (state policy for me), if we even come back before my due date. I probably won’t find a new job in time to qualify, but if I don’t find a new job and go back to my old one will I look like a new hire? All things I’m starting to worry about. I feel like I was finally getting on track and now all bets are off.

    1. Anom-a-long-a-ding-dong*

      If you were laid off, my understanding is that your employment is terminated with that company (vs. furlough, where you might be brought back once they’re able to have you back). I’ve been laid off multiple times in the past, and if I were hired back, I would have been considered a new hire- might have been able to preserve some seniority perks, but ultimately, it would have involved applying for and getting an offer for a completely new job.

    2. Carlottamousses*

      If and once you do get an offer, you could try negotiating some kind of maternity leave (paid/unpaid/combination) at that stage even if you don’t technically qualify for whatever leave policies that company may have in place. My sister-in-law did this when she was hired around 7 months pregnant and was able to take a couple months of unpaid leave (not ideal, but it was something). And congratulations on the pregnancy!

  44. Too Much*

    Productivity is low for me. I run a research project with several scientists. I’m able to do my work and project planning remotely while they work in the lab (we do essential biomedical product development and manufacturing). I’m trying to mostly keep them busy and churn through data. Luckily I have my own office at home, but unfortunately I’ve also been using it as a bedroom. I asked my husband for a separation a few weeks before stay-at-home orders started coming in. I asked to work remotely because his high-risk elderly parents live with us. Bosses are understanding, but rightfully pushing for faster output because we’re in a critical phase of product development. Definitely looking forward to being able to work on-site again. 100% remote work is not for me in the best of times, and I miss the camaraderie of the lab/office and being in the thick of things. Plus my boss only responds to about a quarter of my emails…

  45. Caroline Bowman*

    I’ve realised that though I work from home normally, all the ”other” stuff I have going on in my life, like my pilates class, my runs around the neighbourhood (where we are, being outside, anywhere, unless en route to or from a shop or the doctor is proscribed, specifically exercising off your property – I know, ridiculous), being able to occasionally see other WFH buddies for a quick coffee… are what I really miss.

    Home schooling isn’t wonderful, but it’s okay, again, it’s their fun extra-curricular stuff that they really miss, and their friends.

    1. Filosofickle*

      Not able to exercise off your property? At all?! Wow, that must be hard. Especially for people without a yard.

  46. JezebelleJay*

    I’m really struggling with how to be a good manager to my team right now. I don’t expect them to be available every second (I’m certainly not!), and I don’t expect life to be normal even at all. But our work is up and down, but…I need them to produce more during the “up” time. When we talk on Monday morning about projects for the week, I really can’t get the three drafts of the social media posts I asked you to make on Thursday morning. This week I started offering deadlines “by Tuesday afternoon” so that there is some accountability.

    But what am I supposed to do when someone responds with “sorry these were late I’m having a hard week this week”? I WANT to be supportive. I want to cut people as much slack as I can. Should I start saying to let me know if someone else needs to take the work because you’re not able to get to it right now? How is that fair to the other team members?

    We have jobs, but we’re fundraisers, so we need to work in order to KEEP those jobs. What do I do?

    1. Stuck Librarian*

      Yeah, I’m struggling with this, too, especially since the WFH things I can give people aren’t things they normally would do, so none of us have a sense for what is reasonable to expect. Maybe this is lazy of me, but I’ve accepted that my low performers will probably take advantage of the time at home to work even less and my average-good performers will be reasonable, but not stellar. My work hasn’t changed, so I don’t have extra time to create ways to manage this new work model. Until I get an epiphany for how to increase productivity, I’m settling for receiving weekly reports summarizing what each person accomplished and not thinking too much about whether they could be doing more than they report. Admittedly, I spend more time on AAM than I normally would, so I can’t expect staff to stay focused more than I am.

    2. Just J.*

      Fellow manager here. I here you. But even as a manager I am struggling with my own productivity, so please try to cut as much slack as possible. I think this is a situation where you need to break everything down to “must be done today”, “ok to be done next week”, and “can be done whenever.” And then distribute an even amount of each type to everyone. Be clear about deadlines.

      Also, be as transparent as possible about the cash flow coming in and how salaries may or may not have to be cut, or whether or not layoffs will become a possibility. (I unfortunately think that a lot of people really do not realize where their salaries come from and money out can only be funded by money in.)

    3. BBBBBBB*

      Is there anything that is less time sensitive and can de prioritized? I’m still working, and have a decent workload – but I am forever grateful my manager has communicated to me and my team that she doesn’t expect anywhere near 100% productivity and all we can do is our best. She stressed that we should take more breaks than usual, and just focus on the few time sensitive deliverables versus being chained to our desks 40 hours a week. All projects not immediately time sensitive were put on the back burner and the only expectation is that we will meet those few crucial deliverables and otherwise be available for meetings/calls as needed. I spend a few hours each day working on my projects and calling into meetings, with several breaks inbetween take care of other things/myself, and then just keep an eye on my inbox/work phone in case anything comes up.

  47. Communication Is Key!*

    I need some advice — Communication from my company about coronavirus business changes has been terrible. So I was not surprised this morning when a random HR person from my company called me to ask if I would take a voluntary 10% pay cut for 3 months. No one had informed my boss, or even my grandboss that this was rolling out. I’m inclined to do it because I’m in a fairly stable place financially with little debt.

    I was a little blindsided by the conversation, so I didn’t have a ton of questions. Can anyone think of pitfalls, questions, etc. that I should be asking? If I thought my 10% would save lower paid workers from cuts or layoffs, I’m more than happy to do this. I work in advertising in an agency that is part of one of the giant worldwide holding companies based in UK, but I am in US.

    1. ynotlot*

      It might save you from a layoff. I normally wouldn’t advocate doing this, but 10% is more manageable than some cuts I’ve heard, and if you feel you’re at risk of getting laid off, being low-maintenance and understanding of the pay cut will probably help you a lot.

    2. Amanda*

      If you manage finantially, it’s probably a good idea to take it, since it could help keep you from being laid off.
      You should ask about your benefits, though. Will they be cut back too, will it be proportional? The ones that aren’t purely monetary, will they be affected by the salary reduction?
      You can also try to use this to negotiate some more flexibility, if you don’t have it already and want it. Flex time has been a godsend in these times!

      1. Communication Is Key!*

        I’m less worried about being layoffs but was thinking I could negotiate a 4 day week with reduced salary out of it.

        1. Diahann Carroll*

          That’s a good thing to ask for in return. I’d also ask if it’s possible that when things stabilize in your industry and revenues pick back up whether they would be able to not only put you back to your original salary, but also give you a lump sum payout for the money you lost out on while the pay cut was in place. They may not be able to do that, but I don’t think it’s an unfair question.

          And yes, if a 10% cut for three months won’t devastate you financially, definitely save your job and take it.

    3. Applesauced*

      Seconded! My boss just called me and said “because of what happened yesterday, here’s more work” uhhh, what happened yesterday?!

  48. Liane*

    Things at Fast Casual Restaurant are going fairly well. Per our state’s orders* we are drive thru, take-out, & online/phone orders only. Why Company only let us have masks this week (& required them), no idea–but I now work wearing a “cute puppy with tongue out” cloth mask! (Shout out to Daughter who bought a bunch way last year because she loves anime cons where those are common & has loaned most of her stash to me & to her coworkers!)

    My hours have thankfully gone back up this week to what they were in late February/early March, which is a relief. I have applied for unemployment as Reduced Hours and dutifully report weekly–but always get back “You have exceeded the benefits you were entitled” because I was out of work except for my 1 standing freelance job for most of last year. If anyone knows whether CARES Act allows UI benefits in this circumstance, please comment. I am still reporting (1) in case this week’s higher hours don’t continue, (2) in case I could get back benefits, or (3) Heaven forbid the COVID-19 restrictions/consequences last beyond June 30, when I am again eligible by normal rules.

    *Such as they are, I’m in one of the few that isn’t under any sort of stay-at-home orders. (Just recommends you do.) No clue why Governor hasn’t

  49. Former Retail Lifer*

    I’m the property manager of an apartment complex. I still have to go into work every day, so that part of my day is completely normal. However, my time at work is vastly different. This is normally a very people-centered job but my office is locked and no one is allowed in. Resident matters can all be addressed via phone or email and work orders and leases can be sent electronically, but what broke my day up was showing apartments. Prospects have the option of doing a Skype tour or viewing a video, and most have opted for the videos since we don’t have anything other than a model to show (I have a video library of most of the other options). So while my job actually got easier (I don’t even have to get up most of the time now), I can go an entire day without actually speaking to another human being. It’s so weird.

  50. AvonLady Barksdale*

    I’m frustrated, mostly because the usual avenues I have for overcoming that frustration– heavy job-searching, networking, and even things like getting my nails done in the middle of the day– aren’t available right now. Which is everyone’s boat, of course! But I find myself getting really upset at how little leadership my company is showing and how badly things are being communicated, even though the CEO THINKS he’s doing a great job. Like, no one has said anything kind or encouraging beyond “we hope you don’t get sick”, I was the only one who said anything about activities where we could stay connected (I suggested lunch and happy hour, and some activities for the kids, and while I got enthusiasm initially the ball seems to have been dropped), and on top of that, we all had to take pay cuts (I am now being paid less than when I first started with the company several years ago, with no reduction in expected hours and no offer of, say, an extra day of PTO or anything like that). I read things about CEOs who check in with people, who remind their staff that things are going to be unusual, who reassure parents that they understand things are crazy… It’s super disappointing.

    On the plus side, of course, I still have a job and I still have projects coming in. So that’s something.

    My partner is settling in to working from home (I already did full-time) and honestly, that is one of the hardest parts of this for me. I really want my space back! And because he’s not around his colleagues, I get the brunt of some of his work frustrations. I am enjoying the time we get to spend together and our family doggy walks, though.

  51. blepkitty*

    I’m struggling with my company right now. They haven’t been bad, but they dragged their feet about letting us work from home until school closures were announced (96% of my job is performed via computer). Since then, every announcement about new flexibility in rules has had “as long as it doesn’t affect your productivity” tacked on the end. Recently, one higher up was patting the company on the the back for being “on par” with the rest of our industry. It’s all felt patronizing and like they think we’re all just waiting for an excuse to slack off.

    Meanwhile, my anxiety and depression have been off the charts, and working from home doesn’t help. I need to be around my colleagues to get a read on the mood to help me tell my anxiety brain exactly why it can chill out. It certainly doesn’t help that I live alone and was in the middle of the dreadfully slow process of trying to find friends in my new city when this all went down.

  53. JustaTech*

    I’m … doing really well?
    Like, my sleep is fine, I haven’t gotten in a fight with my partner, I’m about as productive at work as I’ve been for the past 6 months (which isn’t as productive as I’ve been in the past, but the work just hasn’t been there to do).

    I’m sure that in another month or so I’ll run out of work I can do from home; there is only so much preparation you can do before you just need to get in the lab and *do the experiment*, but for now I’m tackling stuff I’d been avoiding. And spending a lot of time spelunking through the archives (my superpower). My work has asked us to spend down our vacation time to help the company financially, so I’ve been taking Fridays off and that’s been really nice, even if I’m not going anywhere.

    I’ve discovered the chair/desk combination that worked fine for grad school isn’t great for WFH, and I might end up trying to get a new chair.
    I’ve discovered that as much as I’m a shy, generally introverted person, I still miss seeing folks, so I’m calling in to work happy hour even if it’s on a day I’m technically “off”.

    Other than that, I feel guilty that I’m *not* stressed out, guilty that I’m not working out more, or doing more house/yard work (we bought the house last summer and are still getting the last bits of settling in done), guilty that I’m not making more masks. Guilty I’m not keeping a journal for posterity.

    If there was some way I could ease the burden of everyone who is stressed to the max, I would. Jedi hugs and good vibes!

    1. Amanda*

      “I’m sure that in another month or so I’ll run out of work I can do from home”

      This is actually what’s been stressing me the most. Most of our clients are postponing new contracts, so what should I plan for in a couple of months when the current ones end? I’m pretty sure my job will be safe, since it’s highly specialized and the company will need it going forward. But what will I actually do with my day? Then I feel guilty for stressing about being bored in the future.

      Otherwise, yeah, I’m also doing pretty good! I’ll add to your good vibes and Jedi hugs! =)

    2. Blueberry*

      If you were miserable that wouldn’t subtract from anyone else’s misery. If it helps, this random internet fruit is glad you’re doing well, and cheering you on in making masks at whatever pace is good for you. Each and every mask helps.

    3. Angelinha*

      Glad things are going well! Can you explain how taking vacation time helps your company financially? Is it that they don’t have the liability of having to pay out your accrued time whenever you leave the job in the future? Or are they having you take it unpaid now to reduce payroll in real time?

      1. JustaTech*

        It’s about getting the liability off the books for the end of Q2. They’ve actually asked everyone to take as much time as they can, and are “letting” people go negative. I don’t think anyone but the C-suite is going to do that by choice, but we just got basically a whole new C-suite (and I have to say our temp CEO is doing a good job, given extreme weirdness) that doesn’t have any vacation to spend.

        They’re doing it because even though we’re a medical treatment provider, we’re getting fewer patients these days (COVID will kill you faster than cancer, so sensibly our patients are staying home), so we’re going to take a big hit in the summer/fall.

        Given I’ve maxed out my vacation time, I’m totally fine spending it this way and getting to feel like I’m “helping”.

    4. The New Wanderer*

      I could be your twin, except I’m okay with IMs and phone calls instead of video (our company isn’t doing video anything). I generally prefer working from home over commuting to an office that was mostly empty before all this happened (95% of the colleagues I work with don’t work in the same building, or state, or country in some cases). Almost of my work can be done remotely, at least for a while, so while I think people are being far more flexible with schedules I haven’t felt any pressure to keep up productivity.

      In some ways I feel a little less pressure in various ways, because we *don’t* have other options that we feel like we need to be doing for Family Fun Time, I have more time to exercise and cook, and my schedule feels less rushed most of the time. My kids have adapted pretty well to online school overall and aren’t clamoring to spend time with friends or go somewhere fun. My husband was also looking to go full time remote anyway so this has worked out well for him and we have enough space to work in separate rooms from everyone. Essentially everyone has an office with a door and a window.

      That’s the good. The flip side is that my main stressors aren’t related to the pandemic, although it definitely makes things worse/harder. My long-term career prospects are dim, if there’s a layoff I’m at risk *again*, and although I just applied for a job I think I’m very qualified for, it’s with the federal gov’t so could take a very long time to even know if I get an interview. There are almost no other options for me to go elsewhere even without massive cutbacks. And my mom, who lives on the other coast, was just diagnosed with stage 4 / metastatic cancer after over a month of incorrect diagnoses and started chemo today. Two months ago she was fine and active, last month she had symptoms of dementia and slept 20 hrs/day, and now she’s aware and present and kind of back to normal but can barely walk from one room to the next without my dad’s help. And my dad is still making daily runs to various grocery stores in between pharmacy runs and doctor appointments. It’s been an insane roller coaster and I can’t be there because they don’t really need the help and the risk is too great.

      So I’m compartmentalizing like crazy and for now I’m okay with being okay with the indefinite working from home and homeschooling and a potential layoff because I don’t think I can manage it any other way.

  54. ThatGirl*

    My manager is not completely terrible, but she has micromanaging tendencies, can be passive-aggressive, and HATES to ever be wrong. She also wants credit for everything so she steps in to things before I’ve even had a chance to do the part I’m supposed to do. And she keeps making up new rules or changing existing ones — despite our style guide being a thing! I’ve been in this role for 8 months, by all accounts I’m doing well, but sometimes it almost feels gaslighty like “wait, did I get that rule completely wrong all this time?” — the answer is usually no, she just changed it on me. Thank goodness for occasional text rants to my coworker who shares my frustration and annoyance and has been putting up with it for much longer.

    1. ThatGirl*

      I guess I didn’t quite tie this in to COVID-19, but the point was that it’s getting worse when working from home because she can’t just “pop over” to my desk or shout from across the aisle.

    2. Briefly Anon*

      One of the things I love about google suite is whenever you have one of those “wait, has that always been the rule” moments it’s really easy to check the version history and prove, if only to yourself, and that no, the rules was changed after you did the work to justify the recipient’s latest issue with it. If you’re using Word etc for your style guide, can you suggest implementing a version control system so people making changes have to flag them up, and keep copies of older versions so you can see when changes were introduced? Numbered and dated and filed etc so it’s always obvious which is the current version, of course.

      1. ThatGirl*

        Oh the style guide hasn’t changed — she just decides something needs to be different and we have to try to keep up. Which means either manually writing in changes or looking through months of emails to see what she decided and when.

        1. coffeeandpearls*

          Do you work with me?! You can’t win – especially if you point out that she contradicted herself. Our unofficial office motto is “Don’t do it . . . but do it”. No helpful advice, just know you are not alone in your frustration!

          1. ThatGirl*

            If you work with me, I just texted you this afternoon to vent, lol. Otherwise, sadly, there are probably many managers like this out there.

  55. PromotionalKittenBasket*

    I’m doing okay, but I can tell my baseline anxiety (which had been around a 1.5/2) is now at about a 7. It doesn’t take much for me to either laugh or cry, and last night I pulled my childhood teddy bear out of retirement. I’m living alone with a non-snuggly cat atm, and I really needed something comforting to hug, 30s be damned. The days go quickly but they all feel the same. Nothing means anything and all I want is to go to a bar with a patio, drink an absurd cocktail in the sun next to other people, and hug my friends tight.

    I like my job and I’m so happy to have it right now. But I very much miss human touch.

    1. A Penny for Your Idea!*

      I feel you. (Sorry for the bad pun.) I’m the same way. I live alone and used to have a weekly hair appointment (just a wash and blow-out) which I realized was human touch, plus workouts with a trainer, hugs from friends and family living in the same city, and now there’s none of that. I do have two snuggly cats which have been a blessing. I wonder if adopting a second kitty might help for you. My local SPCA is doing almost everything virtually with respect to adoptions until the actual pick-up. It takes a bit of time for kitties to get used to their housemate (keep the new one in a separate room initially so they can sniff each other through the door) but it’s a great time to adopt. Just an idea…

    2. Matilda Jefferies*

      I’m in my 40’s, living with a husband, two kids, and two cats – and I also pulled out my childhood teddy bear last week. I get it.

      1. JustaTech*

        I’ve been putting my childhood teddy (stuff cow, technically) in the windows for the kids in the neighborhood to see (there’s a “bear hunt” thing in our city), but my cow’s also gotten some extra squeezes between moves.

        Frankly, it’s the most wholesome thing in the world.

    3. Katrianah (UK)*

      I’m 36, I’ve had Cuddles bear since I was born, and you will prise her out of my cold dead hands before I let her go. Don’t ever feel ashamed or embarrassed over a comfort object like that, especially when you’re touch deprived.

  56. Mylegsdontwork*

    I am about to get a pay cut of at least 10%, probably more. I won’t qualify for unemployment.

    I cannot afford this. I am disabled and use 30-40% of my income for medical expenses.

    Can anyone recommend any sort of job I could do in my spare time? Do you have any advice for me at all?

    I can’t walk or drive a car. I live in the Denver metro area. Thanks!

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      Some online retailers are hiring remote customer service reps – are you able to look for remote jobs that you can do nights and weekends?

      1. Mylegsdontwork*

        I could do weekends but not evenings. I work swing shift at my primary job and do all my medical appointments in the morning so I’m busy from 9am-9pm weekdays. If you know of any places hiring for weekends only let me know!

    2. Miss V*

      I’m sorry to hear this. It’s an awful situation.

      If you’re an hourly employee would it be possible to ask to have your hours cut instead of taking a pay cut? That way you could still file for unemployment for the lost hours but your employer would still be saving on your salary.

      1. Mylegsdontwork*

        I’m not hourly, I’m salaried and get paid once per month. It looks like they will cut my hours by 10-20% (and pay by at least 10%) but I don’t think that’s enough to qualify for unemployment.

    3. Coffeethenwine*

      What sorts of skills do you have that AAM readers could help suss out some suggestions from? (and hugs!)

      1. Mylegsdontwork*

        Thanks! I’ve worked a variety of customer service positions (cashier, server, library assistant, shipping and receiving, tutor) and have worked as a scientist for 10+ years.

  57. Alexandria*

    What is your company doing that is helping / making this situation better?

    My company is in an industry that is still very busy right now. So that helps. But some things they’ve done include:

    – Paying for things you need to WFH, like a keyboard/mouse/other ergonomic things. Even a small desk in some cases like for an employee who works from a small bedroom in a shared apartment and was otherwise working on the floor.

    – Subsidy for Wifi

    – Temporary completely anonymous BetterHelp subscription

    – Let people order food (up to a certain dollar amount) for a all-hands meeting that would otherwise have been catered

    1. Amanda*

      We’re in a tech field and pretty much everyone already had good wifi, so we’re not getting internet subsidy. But my company is giving a stipend to cover part of the increased electricity bill of those working from home.

      We also have a food-related card benefit, that can be used on either restaurants or grocery stores. This isn’t new, but they upped the given value on the notion that groceries are more expensive right now, and many people now need more food for people who’d normally eat at school or work.

    2. hermit crab*

      We got 12 extra days of paid leave for anything pandemic-related, on top of our normal PTO, no questions asked (can be used for family care, going to the store during off hours, volunteering, binge-watching netflix for your own mental health, whatever). I haven’t used any yet because I don’t have any care responsibilities, but I might take the day off next week for my birthday.

      We also got some money for WFH supplies and were encouraged to bring monitors, keyboards, etc. home from the office when we all went remote in mid-March.

      Our leadership has also been holding weekly “town hall” meetings (virtually) where they give updates and answer questions. The organization (a big nonprofit) has 500+ employees so this is more “face time” with senior leaders than we’d have normally.

      1. AvonLady Barksdale*

        That sounds awesome, especially the extra PTO. SO SMART, especially if they presented it the way you did. Takes so much of the pressure off.

      2. Diahann Carroll*

        My mom’s company gave them an extra five days of PTO – honestly, I feel it should have been 15 days, especially for the people who still have to go back into the office. But I guess something’s better than nothing.

  58. Stuck Librarian*

    I’m responsible for a public library and while most of our users are okay with us being closed, many would like us to provide curbside service or have some provision for those who need to use our computers (internet service is not available in many places that we serve). I, personally, think we could provide pick-up service designed so that there is no human to human interaction. By state regulations, we easily could do this. My staff, however, strongly oppose the idea, feeling that it is unsafe, and I don’t think this is the time to force them to do something to which they object, so we don’t offer this service.

    Obviously, we can’t tell users, “We can’t offer you that because many staff are in the at-risk population or have had loved ones die from COVID,” so we are stuck giving insipid “We can’t safely do that” answers which engenders the response of either “X library does, why can’t you?” or “The library is better for people than an ABC store and they are still open, so why aren’t you?”. To which we can only give another variation on the “It isn’t safe” answer. Has anybody from another public-service organization (church, etc.) found a better response?

    1. Jae*

      I think part of it is making yourself okay with the idea that the patrons aren’t going to be happy, more than anything else. I work in higher education, and there have definitely been some students who object to our switch to online classes, as well as the administration’s decision to shut down almost all campus services. Originally, we were keeping computer facilities open for students without technology at home, but we secured funding to buy loaner items for any student who didn’t have it.

      Still, some objected because they aren’t comfortable working at home, or it is noisy there, or the like. They wanted these facilities to be kept open with social distancing measures in place because all they see is the part of the process they engage with. They don’t realize that keeping it open requires workers to come in, many traveling on public transportation, and to interact with the public, something which scares them and may put them at risk. It means they are more likely to bring something home to someone vulnerable in their family.
      It may mean that they no longer can provide childcare or homeschooling to their own children, if schools are closed. It may mean that if they are able to secure a grocery delivery, no one will be home to get it, and they will now have to go to the store instead. They don’t realize that it requires us to be sanitizing the materials often, because if students come in to use computers, we have to keep wiping everything down with supplies that aren’t always easy to get. They don’t realize that more people on campus, means more security is needed on campus and well as more facilities workers, so we are pulling more people into work. They don’t realize it would be difficult to have enough people to staff our facilities and have them constantly maintain 6 feet of space, while still doing what they are expected to do.

      The thing is, even if you explained all of this to everyone who pushes back, you can’t explain things to people that they don’t want to understand. I think you can always say as a final comment, “There are many factors involved behind the scenes that make this not a possibility for us right now. I’m sorry,” and then just let yourself off the hook. You can’t make them happy with this, or make them understand to accept it. You just have to tell yourself it is unfortunate if they are disappointed, but they are not alone in being disappointed or mourning the way things used to be.

    2. hermit crab*

      My public library tried staying open to provide essential computer services to the community, but shut down all its in-person services after a few days of that because they found it couldn’t be done safely.

      They did, however, keep the public wifi fired up and they’re now encouraging people to sit in the parking lot (ideally inside their cars) and access wifi from there, call/message staff to get set up with online resources, etc. Obviously that doesn’t help everyone, but I think it is going reasonably well. While I’m sure there are patrons whose needs aren’t being met, there was actually a lot of public support when the library shut down its in-person services.

      1. Clisby*

        Same here. It’s also been publicized as a way students who have iffy/no internet at home can get connected.

  59. That'll happen*

    I was on medical leave for a non-covid reason for a month and now I am back to work as of Monday. I’m working from home and I just started a new position at my current workplace, a medical practice with ~500 employees. Patient volume has dropped 50% and they’ve had to make cuts. I’m lucky I just started my new position, which came with a small raise, because everyone who wasn’t furloughed had their pay cut by 20%. I’m now making less than I did when I started here about 3.5 years ago. I feel a tiny bit guilty for looking for a new job when I just started this new position, but I can’t live off of 80% of my income indefinitely. Who knows if it will ever go back up?

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      Don’t feel guilty – you have to do whatever it takes to survive, just like your company had to cut your salary by 20% to survive. It’s just business.

      1. That'll happen*

        Thank you for your kind words! I’ve had many friends tell me this, and I have other reasons why I shouldn’t feel guilty (legal but icky labor practices) but it’s still hard to break free of that mindset.

    2. Clisby*

      Forget the guilt. This is a business relationship – period. You do what’s best for you, the business does what’s best for it.

  60. Briefly Anon*

    Anyone else struggling with the shift to using things you always thought of as work tools for socialising? I’ve always been perfectly happy with video calls at work, but hate them socially. Give me a defined start and end time and an agenda, great. Call ‘just to chat’ while I’m in the middle of eating dinner (and keep calling if I don’t pick up)? Nope. I can live with a phone call, but I find a video call much harder to adjust to without more warning. At work I can get a cup of tea and go to the loo beforehand, but socially it’s kinda not the done thing to ask people to schedule their ‘just thinking of you’ moments. I’ve never loved socialising “just to chat” anyway – give me a play to see with people, a dinner to eat, a birthday to celebrate, a defined start and end time and an agenda! – but my family do, so I’ve got to suck it up! I think some of my frustration comes from the fact I am still working and most of my family aren’t, so they’re adjusting to the new reality by trying to be more social online, and I’m all onlined out by the end of the working day. I’m due to go on maternity leave in six weeks, and I know the demands to be available for video calls whenever it occurs to people is going to increase once the baby comes, but I’m hopeful I can actually enforce some scheduling for those on the basis of the baby’s sleep schedule.

    We’re having a surprising amount of trouble recruiting someone to cover my full time, wfh, guaranteed funding to March 21 position for nine months, which I think is partly about where it’s advertised and partly about the money we’re offering against the job title (I argued for a lower title on the maternity cover, since someone coming in fresh is unlikely to be able to cover some of the work I do anyway, but we can’t do that under the terms of the funding), but the team is going to struggle a lot if I leave before we have someone trained up, especially since none of us have any experience with training remotely before!

    If you have experience in data processing / analysing and you’re in England or Wales (not Scotland or NI, sorry!) – especially if you’re a confident user of Google Sheets with an eye for spotting minor errors in large datasets – and you’re interested, comment and I’ll figure out an appropriate way to send you the job spec!

    1. hermit crab*

      100% with you on the “all onlined out by the end of the working day.” I honestly don’t mind video meetings (I normally work from a different location than my team and was already doing a lot of them) but doing them all. day. long. and then having MORE meetings after work for my volunteer gig is too much. I have computer-based volunteer projects that I am falling way behind on because I am just maxed out on screen time at the end of the day.

    2. Filosofickle*

      In my book it’s socially okay to ask for scheduled calls! The baby will give you a good excuse change the rules, although you shouldn’t need to the baby to do so. I don’t mind chatting just for fun, but don’t like being taken by surprise. Not sure why.

      It’s pretty normal in my area to text in advance to agree on a good time, whether it’s basically now (“Hi, are you around?”) or later (“What day is good for you this week?”). If they just call me out of the blue there’s a good chance I won’t pick up, but I’ll respond with a text letting them know when I can talk. Even if it’s just 15 minutes from now, long enough do grab that cup of tea and hit the loo! If you keep asserting this boundary, they should learn.

  61. Loving Remote*

    I’m actually thriving in the remote environment. My company is incredibly supportive, I’m much more productive and focused than I am in the office, and I get a dog on my lap all day. My boss has even noticed how much I can get done with the remote set-up and has indicated I may continue to work some remote days even after which is great for me (cuts out my half hour commute). It maybe helps that I have a dedicated home office that I can walk out of and shut the door at 5pm so I still “leave work”.

    Also for people feeling disconnected, if you haven’t tried Netflix Party yet it is a blast! My group of friends have picked some shows and movies to watch and we have scheduled hangouts where we watch and chat and have a bit too much wine. Keeps us feeling together when we can’t actually hang.

  62. Jae*

    I am struggling, not with working from home, but with working from home under these circumstances. In the past, we were never allowed to work from home and since I have a killer commute, I would appreciate if this flexibility stuck around after, but doing this while this crisis is going on is challenging. People from my job have died; no one I worked with closely, or in most cases even knew, but it is still heartbreaking. Other people I know have been sick or lost loved ones. My own mother is sick, though seemingly with a very mild case. I miss my friends. I miss my family. Some of my important relationships have really shown their issues during this time (lack of checking in/availability/ghosting), which I get given the circumstances, but these issues were all present in smaller or different ways beforehand, so it feels like it is highlighting my loneliness.

    I work in higher education, and with students… there are a lot of asks. I find myself getting upset with someone asking for a letter (that probably won’t do what they expect), or with faculty for fobbing tasks off (though the fobbers always fob things off, it isn’t new). I’m getting upset by things that are normal. Maybe I’m just realizing they were never really acceptable things and I just tolerated them better before.

    This whole situation makes me want a different kind of life, but being stuck at home and with the world so precarious, it is hard to imagine making that happen. I feel very lucky to have my job and not to be in such a bad position objectively, but I’m sad. I saw a TikTok earlier this week of a guy singing a made up song “I’m sad… even though I’m productive… I’m sad… even though I’m getting shit done,” while he videoed himself being productive at various things. And that hit me. Sure, I’m crossing items off my to-do list, and I’m actually doing waaaaaay more work than I should be in many cases (because this situation requires so much extra management. I am not a manager, but there is no one to step in and handle this), but it feels like walking through Jello. Add in the feeling that I’m longing for something else (and the guilt at wanting something more or different when many people don’t even have enough) and I’m just not great.

    I’m supposed to be providing all this support, but who is supporting me?

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad right now. Have you considered speaking to a counselor? Many of them are doing phone appointments, and if your company has an EAP, it may be helpful to reach out to them for some leads.

  63. Salty Caramel*

    I’m really frustrated with the colleagues who don’t accept the current normal and are so invested in the status quo we have before everything went nuts. The ones that talk about ‘we have to open up the economy’ and say things like, ‘we have to go back to business as usual,’ instead of dealing with what’s in front of them.

    My opinion is we need to find ways for more people to be able to work and function. I don’t think corporations are doing half of what they can do to help their workers.

    1. A*

      Unfortunately I fear you are mostly correct. But not all! I work for a brand that primarily operates autonomously, but is owned by a major corporate conglomerate. Prior to, and going into, the COVID-19 situation – I honestly didn’t trust them based mostly on my outsider insight of what I believed the operations of corporations to be (first time working for a corp. previously with non-profits/co-ops/family owned businesses. I’ve been pleasantly surprised, and it’s changed my view for the better.

      Our production has been 100% shut down, my brand is unable to generate income. But our parent company floated all hourly factory workers for four weeks before furlough (employer covering all health benefit costs) – which was done to stop the bleed so we CAN all return to a stable company when we reopen. They’ve kept us updated on a twice a week basis, and voluntary furloughs / paycuts across senior management was implemented to avoid additional furloughs.

      They’ve told us that they do not expect anywhere near 100% productivity, and have put all projects not immediately time sensitive on the back burner. We need to meet the deliverables of those few top priority projects, otherwise just be generally available for calls/emails. Early on they implemented a mandatory no-meeting block for the first half of Tues & Thurs each week to ease the strain on parents attempting to homeschool.

      There are more examples, but point being – I felt the same way as you, but after this experience I do believe there are well managed corporations out there that are doing far more than ‘half of what they can do to help their workers’.

  64. Spearmint*

    I know this is a very privileged problem to have (as many people have lost jobs or are underpaid essential workers), but as someone who is relatively new to the professional workforce I’m worried about how the current situation will slow my career growth.

    I started in my first permanent position after college earlier this year in a niche field where I was going to have a lot of opportunities to develop skills, gain experience, and take on increasing responsibilities over the coming year. It was very exciting and exactly what I wanted out of my first “real” job. Then the pandemic started. For various reasons, the most interesting projects, experiences, and training that I was to be doing have been put on hold. They simply cannot be done while maintaining social distancing. Realistically, these projects won’t start back up until next year (at the earliest).

    I still have work to do, and my job is safe (thankfully), but the work I do have has been mindlessly boring and isn’t really helping me grow into my role and take on more responsibilities (and, not mention, won’t be the kind of thing I can highlight on my resume in 2-4 years when I’m looking for my next position).

    It has really sapped my motivation, and I’ve been far less productive (though it doesn’t matter much because I don’t have 40 hours of work to do in a week anyway at this point).

    1. NW Mossy*

      Elbow bump of solidarity on the whole “but my career!” thing – it’s really wearing on me.

      I might not be so fixated on it if it weren’t for the fact that I narrowly lost out on a promotion right before all this happened. Upper management was very clear that they want me to stay and that they want me in a director role soon, but the various avenues that lead there have dried up in the wake of the pandemic. This combined with a slump in demand for my team’s work has me at loose ends, and my boss is too new in his role to know what to tell me to focus on other than the generic make-work basics (documentation, cross-training, etc.).

      I’ve been focusing this week on trying to think up projects to work on with enough meat on the bone to yield some meaningful accomplishments. I used to do this in partnership with my former boss and she was a fantastic mentor, but now I have to figure out how to do it on my own because the structural support from above isn’t there anymore.

    2. CupcakeCounter*

      Unfortunately it might especially from a monetary standpoint…
      I graduated during the 2008 recession but was really lucky and found a job fairly quickly. Took a while for my industry to pick up after things started turning around so no merits or promotions for a couple of years. I had a good boss who realized that I was being paid less with 2 years experience than the incoming new grads with no experience and fought for a raise and promo. I ended up having to do an internal job change to get that and even then, because transfer promotions were at a capped percentage rate based on current salary, I was still underpaid for that position. Took 3 years for me to get there and the guy hired almost 2 years after me was there in 15 months.
      I had to leave in order to get to market rate and since asking for current salary wasn’t illegal yet, they required a W2 so while I got a significant raise compared to what I was making it still put me on the lower end of market rate. Luckily they realized it and brought me up to where I wanted to be within 6 months and another significant adjustment a little over a year later. I just started somewhere new in January and got market value but starting next week we have to take a 10% cut and 401k match was eliminated for at least 3-4 months. Merits are also off the table for our next fiscal year so that will impact my earning potential going forward as well.

      1. A*

        Oh gosh this gave me flash backs, I had much the same journey having graduated in 2010. Le sigh.

    3. EddieSherbert*

      It’s not fair, but you are probably right that this situation might mean it takes longer to get from Point A to Point B career-wise. However, everyone else is in the same boat too – so at least you won’t be *behind* anyone? I know that’s not at all a great silver-lining ;) but I’ve been reminding myself of that quite a bit recently.

      I was in the middle of job hunt/interviews to take a big step in my career when all this started and the couple jobs I was excited about and doing well in interviews were pulled for now :/ I’m fortunate that my current job is still going strong and I can work from home, but I was making this change because I started feeling *last year* that I’ve outgrown my current role and there’s no room for growth in this position. So I’m grateful to be employed, but very bummed to lose that opportunity to move on.

    4. JobHunter*

      I had just moved cross-country to take my current position. I got three weeks of work in before administration told us to ramp down our work and stay home. My work was all hands-on at this stage; it was too early to record any data from it. I was told that we would be notified when the situation changes. Fortunately, I am still getting my salary at this time.

      Unfortunately, I didn’t have much opportunity to explore this place or finish furnishing my apartment before the stay-at-home order. I did find two stores before all this happened, and I moved with a few weeks of supplies expecting to need some time for shopping around. I am using a few large moving boxes as my desk and table at the moment :D

      I am also worried about the delay in professional development and career advancement. I have been tinkering on old projects, taking some courses for professional development, and spending some time on LinkedIn making network connections.

  65. Brioche*

    I’m a third year law student. I’m terrified about finding a job; no one is hiring in my city right now. I have good grades and a high class ranking. But I don’t think that’s going to help at all. There’s a lot of uncertainty when (or if) the bar exam will be held this year. To say I’m stressed is an understatement.

  66. The Green Lawintern*

    I miss having a copy machine. I have a printer at home that technically has a scanner in it, but I have to scan in each page individually. I want to scream.

    1. blepkitty*

      Oh man. I feel your pain. Luckily I don’t need to scan things, but I don’t even have a printer and don’t want to shell out for one. My job is heavy on reading, and while I try not to print too much, sometimes I really need to print stuff out to give my eyes a screen break or cut down on distractions. It’s been hard.

    2. juliebulie*

      I miss having a color printer. I work with a lot of documents and I often use different-color highlighting for various purposes; the highlighting is done automatically with macros. Then I print it out and all the highlights are gray. Ugh

    3. Amanda*

      Dude, I don’t eve have a printer at home! Screaming doesn’t cover it, specially when I get A0 blueprint-style documents!

      On the bright side, I can say I’m 100% green right now! lol

    4. JustaTech*

      The only good thing about most of my company not having personal printer/scanners is that we have finally (finally!) gotten with the 21st century and have gone to e-sig for out internal documents.
      When you work in a regulated industry there are a *lot* of documents that need to be signed, most of which will never been looked at by anyone, but just in case they all need a signature.

      I hope we all get the e-sig abilities soon, because it really grinds my gears to have to print out our (internal) order form, fill it out in pen (no PDF form for you!), sign it, scan it, email it to the folks who need it (along with a typed list in case the scan is bad), and then keep the form for 10 years.

  67. Policy Wonk*

    I miss my coworkers a lot. While I usually hate meetings, I find I miss them, too. Conference calls just aren’t the same. And not being able to observe body language, facial cues and the like, I can’t gauge opposition, enthusiasm, etc. The ops tempo for work has slowed considerably, though there is still plenty to do. But I find I liked it when I had more work than hours in the day.

    That said, I don’t miss the commute – the extra hour of sleep in the morning is fantastic! And I can get a lot of work done from home. Right now I go in to the office once every other week. When we go back, I may try to flip that and telework once every other week.

    1. Filosofickle*

      This is one of the reasons I defend video calls so much. It’s not as good as in person for reading non-verbal cues, but it’s a hell of a lot better than voice or text only. Reading people is one of my biggest professional advantages and it severely limits me when I can’t use it!

  68. I hate this*

    I may have to quit my job. I’m trying to keep up a 40 hour workload while caring for a toddler and being pregnant. I’m failing both my job and my child and all I feel is guilt and stress. My husband earns almost 2x what I do so it makes sense as a family to prioritize his job. I hate that this will mean a step back in my career but I’m hoping I can be a rockstar at my next job when the world goes back to normal.

    Compassion and understanding from everyone goes a long way right now. I’m not getting a ton of that on the work end and it’s definitely exacerbating the stress and is the main reason I’ll probably quit.

    I wish you all the best in this hellscape.

    1. Ali G*

      Can you take the EFMLA and see if you can ride it out? Or do you need that for maternity leave if you stayed?

      1. I hate this*

        I would need that for maternity leave, since the company doesn’t give any sort of parental leave. This job is good but not amazing and I think I’ve reached the point where bending over backward for them isn’t worth what I get in return.

    2. Blueberry*

      I wish I could attach some casseroles to this comment or something else tangible. I hope that whatever your family decides you all make it through this as well as possible.

      1. I hate this*

        Thank you, just saying that makes me feel better. Imagine if we could message casseroles to people! How great would that be?

    3. dealing with dragons*

      I think a lot of people are going to have gaps for this time and it’s going to be expected that it happened.

      A middle ground step you might take is estimate how much work you can get done in a given time period and give it to your boss to prioritize. Clearly communicate you can get X, Y, and Z done but not anything else, so is that OK? If it’s not then continue with those conversations.

      And good luck! being pregnant sucks right now. I was always told there’s never a good time to have a baby and you’ll never be prepared but this was never what I had in mind.

  69. ExhaustedinAK*

    I am very lucky in that I have a job still. A third of of year depends on income earned from tourists who visit our educational center, and that’s gone, so I might not have a job in the future. My primary responsibility was over grants, and I can certainly get a bunch of applications done right now and supervise the people working on the grants, but then one of our other directors quit abruptly when this all started mid-March. I’m doing her work too, and discovering that she had really not been doing much, so there were some angry people, and a lot of dropped communications and loose ends I’m cleaning up. I’m able to go to our office, which is in the middle of nowhere and everyone else is working from home and I’m by myself. I’ve been working seven days a week since mid-March trying to get everything done, and I’m exhausted. I was going to take Friday off and then my boss told me she’s worried the Board of Directors will think we’re not doing enough, so I canceled my day off. I have a month’s worth of leave saved up because I am never able to take it. My 76-year-old mother lives with me, and she is so high-risk she’s almost a cartoon teaching others about COVID-19. She has also decided that all of a sudden she needs to go to the store all the time. So I’m dealing with that. Oh, and she’s having trouble remembering stuff. I feel guilty because I don’t have kids, and I have a job, and I should be happy. But I’m just tired. That’s all I wanted to say. I can’t tell anyone else in my life. So I’ll tell you.

    1. AnotherLibrarian*

      As a fellow AK local, stay safe. Its t0ugh right now. If you can, push back on getting your day off. The world will not end over one day and you sound like you could really use it.

    2. EddieSherbert*

      Please don’t feel guilty for having a tough time right now! This is a tough time – regardless of having children or not having a job or not, or even being a millionaire or not… Whatever. You’re so very allowed to be stressed out, regardless of what anyone else has going on.

      It sounds like you’re a rockstar employee who is doing amazing in a crappppyyyy time for your industry as a whole (tourism?). Please reconsider cancelling your day off. It sounds like you could use a mental health day. You don’t need a “better reason” to take off than… I want to and have the time saved up.

      Sending you good vibes and self-care!

    3. dinoweeds*

      Please take the day off! If the Board of Directors really thinks you “aren’t doing enough” just show them your time card. I manage an essential business and it is my top priority to ensure days off for everyone (that’s all the time, but especially now!) You have to take time for yourself to decompress.

      Good luck.

  70. Mad Woman*

    I am pretty comfortable right now but I’m trying to help a friend who is not. She is a day surgery nurse in a hospital.

    In early March, she got a cold and wasn’t given any shifts because they wanted her to self-quarantine in case it was COVID-19. Since then, there are also no day surgeries going on because they are mostly elective, so she has not worked in a while. At the same time, she is supposed to start a new nursing job next week.

    Would she be eligible for unemployment for the 6 weeks basically that she couldn’t work?

  71. fposte*

    My love for my immediate co-workers and staff has swelled. They have been so wonderful and been my bright lights during all of this.

    But I feel like I’m in a foxhole with them and nobody else in the army matters to me. Every now and then I get an email from above and I’m like “Who *are* you and why do I care what you say?” I”m a little worried about my ability to relate to my department when things come back to reality.

    1. EddieSherbert*

      I was just thinking about how I should make more of an effort to talk to coworkers outside of my “circle” (even though my circle is amazing!) during all of this; I have quite a few people I chatted with regularly in the office that I definitely haven’t talked to in over a month now because I don’t *have* to.

  72. SweetestCin*

    Okay is the best definition I’ve got. Some days are good, some days not as good. Mondays SUCK for a plentitude of reasons (Monday. Kids’ learning plans aren’t required to hit til 8 a.m. and typically don’t – not that I blame the teachers, they’re swamped too -, so I can’t plan out the day prior like I do the rest of the week. And its the first day of structure after a mainly non-structured weekend.). Check ins with my team definitely help. The great-grand-boss IS handling this with grace and offering us all that same grace, and I’m thankful for that. We get two updates, minimum, weekly. One specifically for employees, one addressed to our spouses and families, the gist of which is that he appreciates how much they’re being as flexible as their employee parent, he cares about all of us and our families, and that we are going to get through this, and that its okay to be working on schoolwork right next to Mom or Dad, everything looks a little different right now. Stressed because of spouse’s business; while essential, the unknowns having to do with the loan(s) and the delays in processing and granting and such are eating into the small company savings that had finally built up. Spouse is back to working 18 hour days again, after not doing so for the first time in the last five years. There’s two smaller than adult people in my house eating all the food all the time and trying to school online. I’m realizing that my personal choice not to be a full time teacher was the correct one. And that I like what I do. ::grins::

  73. KR*

    I am very grateful for my company. They have been working their assess off to supply us with PPE (essential workers but not medical workers), sanitizer, alcohol based disinfectant, everything we need to work from home, bonuses to help with financial instability, video-doctor appointments, extra dependent care time and flexibility. I’m so so grateful to be pulling in a paycheck right now and be working for one of the companies that is handling this the best they can.

  74. voluptuousfire*

    Outside of some stressful family issues, I’m adjusting to WFH full time. I’ve been mostly WFH from home since the summer, so it’s not unusual.

    It’s unusual in that I’m living alone for the first time since my dad’s in rehab/hospital since mid-March (we share the house). I was able to get a lot of stuff done that’s been piling up for ages. Our kitchen, living room rug and bathroom are the cleanest they’ve been in years. I clean a little bit every day and that makes things manageable. I also have some new cleaning products coming in on Tuesday and I’m looking forward to tackling the bathroom tub once they come. Cleaning has become comforting. If someone would drop by now, I wouldn’t be embarrassed by how the bathroom looks.

    I’m speaking with many of my cousins a lot more who have been supportive. The only thing is I’m feeling a bit lonely. My dad and I had a cat but she passed last winter, so I put in inquiries to adopt a cat with a local rescue. :) I’m so excited at the thought of having another heartbeat in the house again.

  75. Buttons*

    I always work from home. I typically go into the office every other month, for no reason other than showing my face and catching up with people. I also live on 2o acres, I am used to being isolated. But now my husband is here, he was laid off. My MIL has a house on my property, so she is always here. AND my brother and his wife moved into my guest house 2 months ago because they sold their house but construction was completed on their new home, and they were both laid off. So there are people here all the time. GO AWAY. Leave me alone! I need quite. Stop coming into my office, the door is closed, I have earplugs in, I am focused on my work- stop interrupting me!!!!

    I vent, but I am incredibly lucky. I have 4 people to socialize with, we cook dinner together, we play cards, we watch movies, we are building a barn for our cow that is going to calf in a couple of weeks, we have 30 chickens giving us eggs, we have a green house giving us fresh veggies. I am so lucky, but I still want them all too back to work and leave me alone!!

    1. EddieSherbert*

      I can relate (though I don’t have the space you do – that sounds amazingggg!!). I already worked from home most days (went into the office about once a week), so I haven’t minded that adjustment too much… but now my partner is home, not working, very extroverted/hyper, and frustrating me. Any movement (I go to refill my coffee cup or visit the bathroom) is treated as a cue to SOCIALIZE! I’m getting interrupted for their every life update (I’m taking out the trash now! I’m going to walk the dog! I’m going to sit on the patio for a bit!) even if I have the door closed and headphones in.

      But on the other hand, I really appreciate that they’re making a fresh pot of coffee for me partway through the morning, handling more than their share of the laundry and dishes and cooking, and arranging virtual game nights with our friends and family :) They make just being at stuck at home *in general* much better, even if they’re bad at boundaries with me *working at home*.

      1. Buttons*

        I lost it the other day and said “the only time any of you can talk to me is when I am out of my office or if you are bleeding!”

    2. AnotherLibrarian*

      You can both recognize your blessings (job, family, food) and also be annoyed at the disruption to your routine. I have a job. My partner has a job. We are both safe. But yes, I am also super ready to return to work and for things to get back to something like normal.

  76. Tempononymous*

    My company is not doing essential work. We have done work in the past that would qualify as essential, so my boss has decided we must remain open “just in case” we are needed for an essential job.
    And he’s ramped up production on non-essential jobs. Everyone is doing 10-12 hour days now, every single day. (Yes, we are getting overtime. No, it’s not optional.)
    Yesterday as I prepared to leave after 11.5 hours, my boss came to be and said “why are you leaving so soon? There’s still work to do!” and when I said I was headed home, she said “Where are you going to go? You live alone. There’s nothing you need to be doing there, and you have jobs on your desk that need to be done. You need to stay!”
    I’m so exhausted. I’m so pissed that the owner is using this crisis as an excuse to ramp up production of non-essential stuff. I’m so tired of my boss thinking that because I live alone and can’t run errands, every waking minute should be spent at my desk. Did I mention my boss took a half day off this week for her kid’s birthday?
    But I cannot afford to quit.

    1. Buttons*

      I am so sorry. That is just awful. If you leave she can complain, but will she fire you? What is the worst thing she will do if you set boundaries?

    2. Jedi Squirrel*

      Are you able to report them? If you’re in a state that’s under a SIP/SAH order, you should be able to report non-essential businesses that are staying open.

    3. Jae*

      I can’t say the level of bad things I am thinking about your boss, nor what I think she deserves. But she sounds like a total asshole, and I hope she reaps every single thing she sows, and that you are out of there as soon as possible.

      If you can push back without being fired, draw your boundaries and stick to them. Get yourself right up to the line of what you can get away with. Don’t push yourself to do anything more than needed. Work at the slowest pace you can get away with. If you can get many others on board with this and push back as a group (or slow down as a group), it would be even better.

      Your needs are valid. Needing rest and leisure is valid. Needing to run an errand is valid. Report her business if possible.

  77. DecorativeCacti*

    I’m wondering if anyone has filed for/received leave under FFCRA. My workplace has given us an extra bank of available leave but none of our full-time employees have 80 hours available and they even told one person there was some kind of 10 day waiting period.

    I can’t find anything about either of these at the DOL but to be honest my eyes glazed over very quickly and I could use some help. My HR is not helpful at all.

    1. fposte*

      I think a colleague is; they were quarantined under medical advice as a probable case, so they are eligible to use sick days under the act rather than their regular employment sick days. I think HRs in general have been annoyingly slow in realizing that yes, this means them.

      1. DecorativeCacti*

        I know part of the problem is that really no one knows what’s going on (even the DOL), but it would go a long way for my company to just admit it instead of the weird, rambling, circular answers we’re getting.

        1. fposte*

          At least as I read it, the leave itself is fairly clear; the question for some employers is doubtless whether or not they’re covered, and for pretty much all covered employers it’s “How do we handle this paperwork?” I’m optimistically believing that some of this leave is going to get classified retroactively, and I’d encourage employers to make that possible.

  78. Ali G*

    How about something funny to lighten the mood!
    In case you were missing the office kitchen and all that goes along with it…
    This morning I was making toast while my husband was on a call in the office (on the other side of the house but really not that far from the kitchen). When it was done I went to take it out of the toaster, and one of the pieces slipped right through the grates, landed on the hot coil and BURST INTO FLAMES!
    I scream, unplug the toaster, grab tongs, rescue the flaming bread, all while calling for my husband. Nothing.
    I toss the burnt bread into the trash.
    An hour later he comes out and is like “why does it small so bad in here?” I’m like “I almost burnt the house down you idiot!!!”
    Yes, the house still smells like burnt toast and we have to work all day like this. Not as bad as burnt popcorn, but not great either.

    3. SweetestCin*

      Add my coffee disaster this morning (know what happens when you drop a full filter of coffee grounds? A HUGE mess!!!!) and this is absolutely fodder for a sitcom!!!!!

  79. QCI*

    It feels like most people are “essential services”, so we have all the drawbacks and inconvenience of social distancing, but without the reduction in people and traffic.

    1. Retail not Retail*

      YES my commute (between 6 and 7) is the same and when we still got off at 3, that was the same!

      Traffic is still terrible, walmart parking lots are outside the laws of god and man

  80. Aren't we supposed to know better?*

    I work in public health, but ironically my organization’s leadership has been TERRIBLE at accommodating their employees during this time. I finally got permission to work from home after a lot of resistance, but I’m still struggling knowing that folks in leadership are looking down on me for doing so. I know there will be informal repercussions to my career not being “in the room” for all the crisis response. Logically, I know my health is more important, but I’m just struggling to stick with my decision to insist on teleworking when it feels like it will definitely hurt my career. Ughh I don’t know, I guess I could just use validation that I’m doing the right thing.

    1. Matilda Jefferies*

      I worked in public health until last year, and I’m hearing the same from a lot of my former colleagues. I hope we’re talking about the same organization, otherwise there are two of them out there behaving like this! Take care of yourself.

  81. SDSmith82*

    I actually like the working from home part of this. I learned how to set rules/expectations for my availability a long time ago, so that’s all good, but what kills me is the limitations on where I can go after work to recharge. I’m big on taking my dog out for nature walks, and all of our walking areas are closed. My neighborhood doesn’t have sidewalks, and even with reduced drivers, its still too busy to be safe. Those walking trails were something we needed. To add to that- I’m in insurance. I’m a bad guy, even if all we’re trying to do is take care of our folks. Most of my actual clients have not been effected directly (I deal with HOA insurance mostly) but the rest of my team deals with the ones who are getting hit the hardest. I was doing ok, but this week its starting to hit.

    1. KR*

      I feel you on feeling restricted from nature. It’s really tough. I live in an area where it’s easy for me to go out in the middle of nowhere and not interact with anyone but I have to interact with security guards to get in and out of where I live, so I’ve been avoiding leaving my house anyway :/

  82. Rosalita*

    My husband is bipolar and out of work and I have anxiety. I am having a hard time focusing and keeping my self and my husband balanced. I give myself breaks and do what I can but still i am having trouble sleeping and I am stress eating… Not much to ask just want those out there in a similar situation to know you arent alone.

  83. Aggretsuko*

    I am drowning in workload. I spend 3.5 hours a day in Zoom meetings and the rest of my time having to answer emails because we’re drowning in emails and I literally cannot do my actual job any more. It’s not socially acceptable to push back about any of this. I want to scream and scream all day. I do break into tears several times a day.

    Also, they are sending me a webcam and I do NOT want it and I do NOT want to turn one on so everyone can see me crying. How do I get out of this without having to explain to management that I cry during meetings? I don’t want to disclose that and I will be penalized if I tell or get caught crying.

    2. Damn it, Hardison!*

      I’ve used the excuse that the webcam is too much for my home network and causes me to drop off of meetings. In the odd event my husband and I are both on at the same time, it’s even true.

      1. JustaTech*

        Seconding this!
        “My network isn’t up to the extra load form video and keeps dropping me out of the meeting, so to make sure I hear everything I’m going to have to keep the video off. Sorry!”
        Make it a matter-of-face statement/email, and blame technology as much as you can.

        I’m so sorry your work is hurting you like this. It’s not right.

  84. Really Grouchy About This One Thing*

    I hate that we are having more meetings. They are cropping up everywhere with next to no notice. My office uses video and I hate video chatting. Looking at the camera feels unnatural, and then there’s my ugly face down in the corner of my peripheral vision.

    I went to lunch at 1:00 one day and hopped in the shower. I got a mandatory invite at 1:01 for a meeting that started at 1:00 (heard the email beep over the sound fo the shower). Yeah, they didn’t get video for that one. Nobody’s business what I look like with wet hair.

    1. Aggretsuko*

      Hear, hear. That really pisses me off too (see above). Also, the spontaneous meeting invites are driving me nuts.

    2. Josephine Beth NotAmy*

      Same here! I had a few hours blocked out this morning to catch up on my own work…and then got invites for meetings that filled up literally all that time. They’re all from my boss so it’s not like I can decline them.

  85. anon today*

    Simply a vent:

    I haven’t slept a full night in a month. Three friends have died and two are in critical condition. I covered stories this week that included two of our nursing homes having major COVID-19 outbreaks, death there too. I’m still working my full-time job at the studio (media)but am essentially on call 24 hours a day at this point, and my husband, an attorney is, for the most part, working from home and trying to homeschool our first grader. First-grader has a seven-hour daily required curriculum, He’s not even 7, it’s mind-blowing. And, of course, just to add to everything else, the dog hurt her back and needs six rounds of laser therapy. Meanwhile, my co-worker of three years, whose job usually focuses on sports, has been moved to the news right now. He’s supposed to be helping me because there are no sports, but he feels like he doesn’t need to do anything except watch classic sporting events on rerun(He’s here too, I can see him). All the support staff and sales staff are working from home. So is the boss. In short, I’m drowning.

    1. Jae*

      I am so sorry. This sounds like a nightmare. There was an article on buzzfeed this week about parents who pulled their first-grader out of the online schooling for just this reason; it was way too much to expect of a young child during a crisis, and of parents who are also battling it.

      Is there any chance of reporting the coworker to your boss? If they are a good boss and see that you are collapsing under the weight of your work, even if you are still getting things done, while this other person is essentially getting paid to watch TV, perhaps they will intervene.

      1. JustaTech*

        And seriously, 7 hours a day of school? Are schools even in session for 7 hours a day? And how much of that time is recess and gym and lunch and snack…

        As someone who always loved school – heck no. And really, what’s the school going to do, fail your 1st grader for only doing 30 worksheets rather than 50? Good grief.

        1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

          Agreed: insane. I have a child of a similar age (plus two older) and our schools are recommending *one* hour per day for children who would normally be at elementary school equivalent. Home learning is much more intensive than school time.

          All the fun stuff they’ll fill the rest of their days with will also bring them on academically but without frying their brains – den building and Lego and chalking and tea parties with toys. And READING.

    2. Kristin*

      I am so sorry for your losses. That would be majorly hard even without all of the rest of it.

      Your boss should absolutely do something about your coworker who isn’t working.

    3. Anongineer*

      I’m very sorry for your losses.

      I agree with the others about talking to your boss about your coworker – is there a way to ask what you can do if coworker isn’t doing their work or getting you the resources you need? I know Alison has done a ton of scripts that call out the coworker to the boss but in a way that’s asking “how can I resolve this/move forward?”

    4. Joy*

      You are dealing with so much, I’m sorry. But I have to ask, wtf is with a 7 hour day for a first grader? In Ontario I think they age has five hours of recommend schoolwork a week. Who the hell thought seven hours a day is reasonable? I’d just say screw that and not do any of it, like the mom Jae mentioned.

  86. Emmie*

    What’s the best way to support my family members working directly with COVID patients? They are nurses, paramedics and critical care doctors who all work in critical care COVID units. (Obviously, the paramedic is not working in that unit..) I’ve offered to do things – run errands, grocery shop and clean. They’ve all refused. It’s the emotional support I’m struggling with. I know their realities, but I am not living with it. I am not them. How do I support them emotionally?

    1. juliebulie*

      Just a guess… although it is good to offer to do things, I wonder if what they would appreciate most would be moments of normalcy; time that isn’t about the virus.

    2. fposte*

      I’m not in the group you’re talking about, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but given how conscientious you’ve been I would bet you’re already doing it. Maybe the problem is that it doesn’t feel like enough to you, but I’m sure it makes a difference to them, even if right now they’re not in a position to realize it.

    3. Ranon*

      I’ve had better luck with “I’m going to X store on Y day, is there anything you need me to grab” than general offers to get groceries, if that helps- the healthcare people in my life are doing grocery pick up/ delivery but with the substitution system the way it is someone who can grab something specific at the store may be helpful.

      1. cmcinnyc*

        This. When I’ve had friends in crisis, them having to think about “what do I need? is that somewhere reasonable for you to go/affordable?” was too much bandwidth. It was easier for them if I tacked things on like “I’m going to Duane Reade to get shampoo and toothpaste and I can pick you up some basics. Tell me your brands.” For a friend in a doorman building, I simply dropped off a bag of groceries (nothing frozen or needing refrigeration) at the desk with her apartment number on it so the doorman could hand it to her on her way in.

  87. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

    I was in the process of moving when this hit. So I set up my work-from-home office in my old place (we went to WFH about 2 weeks before the governor issued any orders – my boss is a med school professor/surgeon), and then had to set up again in my new place a week later. I’m really fortunate that I was able to get movers, switch in Internet service, etc. done in time.

    But my kitchen isn’t finished, I’m staring at all sorts of boxes that need to get unpacked, my cat wants way too much of my attention, my sleep schedule hasn’t fully adjusted to new location yet, and I’m drinking too much coffee.

  88. A. Ham*

    It’s been rough. Not so much in a day to day work kind of way- my company and team have been truly great in all of this, and as I’ve mentioned before in these threads, I am luckier than a lot of folks in my industry in that I still have a job – but more in an impending doom kind of way.
    We have been trying to keep our heads up and deal with mass cancellations as they come, and are trying to be optimistic and planning stuff for the (6 months from now) future… but the truth is, it is getting more and more apparent that even when things start to slowly open up, and restrictions start to be lifted, all of the things that we do- concerts, dance shows, theater, comedy shows- will be among the last things to get back to “normal”. We’re selling tickets for fall shows- which is good but probably optimistic. and what happens when we are allowed to re-open but can only seat at 1/2 capacity? We can’t break even with only half of a 3,000 seat theater sold (and we have two such theaters on our campus). We have a few much smaller venues that we may be able to open up earlier, but that’s not where our company’s main revenue comes from.
    For me, personally, there is a little bit of job security in even this situation- someone has to move all those tickets, and communicate with patrons, and process refunds- and that is my team. But eventually… if there are no shows, I don’t have a job. the longer this goes, the more worried about it I get.
    That mixed with the overwhelming sadness of my industry crumbling and my friends out of work has made this a particularly rough week. :-(

    1. A. Burr*

      My last job is in the same exact boat. Even though I’m not there anymore, I’m still desperately worried for the place and everyone in it. There’s several major fundraisers at the end of the year in our 3,000 seat theaters– are those going to proceed? How do we account for the lost revenue if they don’t, on top of the revenue we’ve already lost? How are patrons going to respond to all this? What does it mean for the future of the institution? For the industry?

      Wishing you strength and solidarity in the midst of all this.

      1. A. Ham*

        thank you.
        yeah, fundraisers are cancelled and other types of donations have come to a halt. (except of course the many very kind people who have opted to donate instead of take their ticket refund. we are very thankful for that).
        The road to full financial recovery is going to be a long one.

  89. Overempathetic*

    This week has been hard. I’ve discovered over the past few weeks wfh, that Mondays are the worst for me. Im ok on weekends, I can just do my thing, but Mondays when I don’t go to the office but I turn on my work laptop…things go downhill. I have a mental health check in with my team on Mondays (and twice more on the week), and they all talk about dealing with their families over the weekend and dealing with their anxiety &tc which I get – but all the talk of people around them reminds me I have no family or pets in my home (it’s literally just me), and their talk of the news gets me upset because I am avoiding the news to mitigate my own fears and mental health. So the call that’s supposed to help tanks all my careful work and I have to log off early and get asked why.

    I have seen one person in a month who both a) knew my name and b) stood only 6 feet away. I’m an introvert, yes but I’ve never felt so lonely as I do now. Alone is fine – this is something else, and it sucks. I’ve decided I can’t worry too much about being judged: I will go walking with my other living-alone-introvert friend, as close to 6 feet apart as we can get on the trails, just so I can see a person in real life who recognizes me for a person, not just another face in the socially distant crowd.

    I’m lucky to have work, a job, a boss who’s compassionate (but I feel is burning out on work only he can do – that’s a separate problem)…but every mental health resource in my large full bucket is sometimes put aside for a totally deflated stare at the wall.

    1. Aggretsuko*

      The only person I’ve seen with those qualifications is my apartment manager, who is horrible at her job and makes me crazy. I hate to think that the last live person I may ever see is *her.*

      1. Overempathetic*

        I haven’t even seen my apartment manager! All our interactions are now through a ton of papers posted to the wall outside the office.

        I’d probably think harder about walking with someone with other family/interactions, but she has none. Feeling like a person is not something I’d ever thought I’d have to plan out.

      2. Ramblin' Ma'am*

        Same here (although I like my landlord). We ran into each other outside the house Sunday morning and talked for 10 minutes at a safe distance. It was my longest in-person conversation in a month.

  90. OntarioLibraryWorker*

    For those who work in public libraries, what kind of work have you been doing from home? Our library has put together a few different projects – our book mobile is delivering sanitized books to patrons, you can request a weekly phone call to chat about books and more, we’re doing online storytimes and book clubs. We’re sending our formerly monthly newsletter weekly with book lists, activities for kids, links with resources and information on Covid, and more (this is the team I’m on). Our 3D printers and sewing machines are running to help with masks. And of course we’re promoting all of our e-resources and providing support. Our board’s most optimistic projection has up reopening in July, so it’s likely to be even later. So I’m just wondering if there are other ways we can be helping our patrons.

    It has definitely been an adjustment going from a 100% in person job to 100% remote. My husband is also WFH full time, so I am glad I am only part time because we have a toddler. I have no clue how parents are managing both working full time and taking care of kids – I salute you! My work doesn’t require collaboration so I can work at naptime /evenings/weekends. I’ve been texting and trading pet and kid photos with coworkers but it’s just not the same as us working together. I miss the adult & teen craft clubs I was running – we were getting a good turnout. We wanted to start a community garden at my branch and were just starting the planning. We had so much awesome stuff planned for March Break that had to be cancelled because we closed. Of course I am super lucky that I still have a job, and one that doesn’t depend on revenue to keep us afloat. I know that we can wait this out at home and my job will still be there when our doors open again, so I am thankful I don’t have that uncertainty hanging over my head. But I really feel for the patrons who came in every day because they didn’t have home internet. Or those who came in because it was a place they could come and chat and didn’t need to spend a penny. I hope they are doing okay.

    1. Anon-mama*

      I’m in a library in the U.S. We’ve been closed to the public for almost four weeks, shut down to employees for three. Librarians can field emails, call patrons, post on social media. I think some can somehow do statistics. The paraprofessionals (me) are forbid from doing bookmobile (too hard to sanitize), so we were told to do journal reading, webinars, create booklists, etc. Offers to pick up new items to process or other non-software work with books were denied. While I’m lucky to have my full pay, and mainly passive work, it’s been exhausting being fully responsible for our preschooler and infant, as well as making sure I’m actually “working” and will have something to show for it. We’re also not allowed to give an indication that we’re working from home to the public, so there goes any video programs. My spouse needs to be “on” during core hours, so there’s no splitting shifts nor a home office for him to escape to.

  91. stanleycupcakes*

    I started a new job on March 16, the day the entire office went remote. I’ve never worked from home before and I’m still getting used to the nuances of the job, but it seems like it’s going to be one of those ones that doesn’t really have good boundaries on time– my colleagues and I were up until 12:30A the other night collaborating on a project over WhatsApp.

    I also live alone in a studio apartment with no special spot to dedicate to work. I guess, how can you leave the office when you can’t really leave, you know?

    (Incidentally, the place I left at the beginning of March was thrust into the national spotlight for receiving a chunk of change in the stimulus bill. Many of my friends were furloughed a few weeks later. It was a really, really difficult decision to take the new job, but it’s *very* harrowing to know you would be unemployed if you’d decided against it. Such survivor’s guilt.)

    1. A*

      This might sound silly, but I’ve found it helpful to pack away my laptop and work phone every night as if I was leaving for the office in the morning. It helps me maintain boundaries, and the ritual of getting set up in the morning helps me get into work mode FWIW.

  92. Matilda Jefferies*

    No questions, just a bit of a vent.

    I’m still quite new to management – I started my job in September, and I was on a fairly normal managerial learning curve until last month. I have 4 permanent staff plus a consultant. One of my team is still in the office due to the nature of his work, and everyone else is WFH. So that’s a lot to adjust to, not to mention supporting my team’s anxieties without taking them on for myself.

    Then this weekend, TPTB decided to “redeploy” a bunch of head office staff – they have the choice to work in a store or a warehouse, or take vacation or unpaid leave. Not an easy decision for them, and not one that they made lightly, although I’m not convinced they’re handling it very well. In any case, I’m about to lose half my team to redeployment. So that means more juggling of duties, and more juggling of anxieties and morale. Both of my team members who are redeployed have sick family members (one with COVID, one not), so of course this doesn’t make anything easier for them either.

    Plus our consultant is running amok. She’s overstepping boundaries in all kinds of ways – I wrote a few weeks ago about her running meetings and assigning me work, which has eased off a bit, but now she’s trying to insert herself into my director’s work as well. So, she is a LOT, and we need to decide if we’re going to keep managing her or terminate her contract.

    I’m fine, mostly. I’m healthy, and everyone I love is healthy, and I’m lucky to still have a job and that I can do it from home. My husband is eligible for CERB, and my kids are bored and bickery but otherwise doing okay. It’s fine. It’s just…a lot. Breathe, breathe. Breathe.

  93. K*

    One of my teammates was fired last week because my boss felt she wasn’t taking on her fair share of assignments on our team. Which may be true. I’ve only been here two months, (compared to her seven months) and I felt like I was volunteering for more than her. But honestly, I don’t know what to think. She is a single mom of three kids and firing her for not being a “go-getter” during a national pandemic is pretty devastating. I’m sure some behaviors existed before all this pandemic stuff started and I know this is a business, not a charity. But, honestly, its hard not to think less of my company for doing this now.

    1. AnotherLibrarian*

      Yeah, if there’s a time to be firing someone- now it is not it. However, you don’t know the whole story- your boss may have been in a position where they had to decide between firing someone or furloughing everyone or other issues, and sometimes this is the least bad option. Because you’ve only been there two months, I would keep my head down and mouth shut until you know more (if you ever know more.)

      1. Diahann Carroll*

        Yeah, the optics aren’t great, but you’re not wrong that there was probably something else going on behind the scenes that K doesn’t know that led to that decision. With the economy the way it is right now, the best thing to do is MYOB and keep an eye on how these people roll in the event that you need to start looking again once the lockdowns are over.

  94. AnotherLibrarian*

    I have anxiety (not the kind fixed with bubble baths) and I am struggling right now. Making matters more complex is that I really can’t do my entire job from home. I work with historical documents which means being near them, because I am not taking my collections home. So, in reality, I’m doing about 3 to 5 hours of work a day. It feels wrong to not note this on my timesheet, but I’m exempt so I’ve been told not to.

    I know it’s silly to complain- I have a job. We are pretty stable (furloughs will come, but the way higher ed works it probably won’t be for a few months) and I am finically stable enough to be donating regularly to the local foodbank and homeless shelters. I just feel so guilty for not working enough and so anxious that someone will “find out” and then somehow I’ll get in trouble, even though I know that’s not really realistic.

  95. Buttons*

    I am a total introvert, and I want nothing more than to go to a bar, have a beer, eat bar food, and talk to strangers.

    2. Cog in the Machine*

      Ditto. It’s like when you eat the same thing for too long and then won’t touch it for a month. I don’t even particularly want to chat with strangers, but I’d love to go camp out at a restaurant with a book and just let the chatter wash over me.

  96. Johnson*

    I resigned this week and tomorrow is my last day at work. I had previous grievances that made me consider looking for a new job but not without a new one lined up. My big issue with the company is how the CEO declared that isolation would “kill the economy”, declared every business as essential and prohibited any kind of home office (despite the jobs at the headquarter offices being easily manageable from home).

    This isn’t a small company. There are hundreds of people sharing the same open spaces that makes impossible to keep safe distance, and rumours of people infected with COVID-like symptoms are going around already (including photos of crews cleaning sick people spaces protected just with masks and plastic bags!).

    I’m hoping I didn’t make a big mistake and it makes me feel a bit guilty. I have enough savings set aside while things get better, but the whole deal has been incredibly frustrating to deal with.

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      Given the cavalier way your CEO has responded to this issue and the lack of proper safety precautions taken by your cleaning crew, you probably made the correct choice – you could have ended up very ill working for these people.

      Good luck to you.

  97. S-Mart*

    When this started I had to manage a lot more actively than I did before, and it still took a while to get people up to what I expect (which is not 100% of pre-WFH… but also not the 10% I was getting). By this week it’s finally settled into something I can live with, but it’s still more active management than I’d like.

    Onboarding new people has been tough too. On the plus side, it’s doing a good job of highlighting where the onboarding may be weak. Hopping into a skype call is mixed difficulties depending on which person I’m working with, and screen sharing lags like in person instruction never will.

  98. Noice*

    I’m in a front line service full time, and have two full time coworkers on my department that are taking advantage of every possible bit of latitude, to the detriment of everyone else. No one is surprised–they’ve always been this way–but I’m unreasonably angry about it. I’m working full time because I swore to serve and protect, paying extra for childcare for my babies (my daycare closed and are keeping the payments for the whole month. The new daycare also needs to be paid as well). Those two people worked less than 20 hours last month, used none of their own leave, and are still making what I’m making. I’m pretty sure one of them has been falsifying their timesheet as well, but there’s just no bandwidth for an internal investigation right now. I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I’m not worried about getting sick, but I am worried about my department’s ability to get through this.

  99. Jonah*

    I’m one of the lucky people who’s doing really well. I got laid off a month ago from a job I absolutely hated, and I had been working on building up an emergency fund in anticipation of walking out one day. I’m also taking classes full time in preparation for starting a PhD program next year, so I have things to keep me busy. What’s been interesting, though is that it’s made me reevaluate what I want to do between now and then. I’m not so sure I want to hop on the job search train and get sucked back into an office job in a field I hate.

    I’ve been thinking about throwing some energy into a side hustle and freelancing and just…not going back to work full time. I know both of those can be tough, but I also love the freedom of being able to do my own thing. However, everyone in my life is pressuring me to job search and get back on the horse ASAP. That’s been the most frustrating thing about this whole situation!

  100. Anon remote worker*

    Anyone have a good script on how to tell clients that I will absolutely not be meeting with them while we’re in a statewide lockdown to work together? I’ve got some new ones pushing for this and my bosses are also pushing back for me but I’d like some wording of my own. New clients, accounting, needing a lot of my time in general. Even when not in lockdown, my client work has always been remote, out of our office instead of at client offices.

    Getting strong “this virus thing is a hoax/blown out of proportion, and it should be business as usual for us” vibes. No essential industry work here btw.

    1. Matilda Jefferies*

      I have some ideas for scripts, but none of them are exactly professional or polite. Honestly, what is with some people?

      Anyway. I would just go with Alison’s standard “that won’t be possible.” No apologies or explanations, just it’s not possible for you to meet in person, and here are the times you can meet online instead. Good luck!

      1. Anon remote worker*

        Thanks! That’s true, I don’t need to start listing excuses. I know my boss has my back and one client in particular might not end up being a good fit. We’re lucky that we are not short on work so I won’t be forced to travel unnecessarily.

    2. cmcinnyc*

      If you were in NY you could just say “What the fuck is wrong with you?” but alas… you’re probably somewhere you have to be a little more diplomatic than that.

    3. Ranon*

      Do you all have a “company policy” about this sort of thing? (Or if you’re the only one doing your type of work can you and your boss make one up that says remote is what they get?). I’m in an industry that’s considered essential but is pretty grey area (construction) and that’s a line I’m seeing from various folks a fair bit these days.

      1. Anon remote worker*

        Not a set in stone one but we do charge for drive time if we ever go out to a client, and that’d be a good chunk of change for me as I don’t live close to any of these clients. I’ll just have to “that’s not possible” them until they shush up about it.

  101. Now in the Job*

    Husband is an essential worker who has to go out and handle vehicles regularly. His coworker possibly exposed him and the other guys in his role, and I’m particularly displeased bc it was to do a total non-issue, not critical, personal thing. Today he has been coughing a lot. No other symptoms, but I worry for us both now. He *had* been the one doing most of the store runs, but now that’s going to fall to me. Just very frustrated due to his coworkers lack of forethought.

    He also hasn’t been socializing much either, which worries me as well. He has opted out of all the calls with friends that I’ve had and has been emotionally hard hit. I feel like I’m doing double duty almost.

    My usual work has slowed but I’ve taken up new responsibilities at work that are critical, and that makes me happy at least. Hopefully my job remains this secure.

  102. Jumpingjellybeans*

    I work for a government department and am lucky to still have a job. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. When this whole situation first started, we were at home with pay for the first 3 days. Then about 10 of us were given laptops to work from home. Another 10 were told they would eventually be given laptops as well. We’re now on week 5 and the remaining 10 still don’t have laptops and are still being paid to sit at home while we are working every day. This seems unfair. How do I bring this up without sounding like I’m complaining or don’t want to work? Rotating and sharing laptops was suggested but that would require going through a lot of logistical hoops and unnecessary contact. Some form of extra compensation or benefit also seems to be out of the question as we’re taxpayer funded.

    1. Jedi Squirrel*

      I am really feeling you on this. I am expected to put in 8-10 hours every day simply because I have stuff to do while I know a lot of my colleagues are sitting at home with nothing to do, and we are all getting paid what we were before.

      Mind, I’ve had way too much on my plate before this started, which is one of the reasons I was looking to leave. This experience has only made me want to find a new job even more.

    2. Rose Red*

      I understand your frustration and do not want to minimize it; I am sure I would feel the same way. But, I want to offer some perspective from the other side. I’m also in a gov office and am one of two people who can’t work from home, solely because we had desktops where everyone else had laptops. My supervisor is working on getting us laptops or finding another solution, but it’s taken longer than anyone anticipated due to the demand.

      And I hate it. It means I’ll be the first considered for layoffs, which is a possibility. It means there’s a huge backlog of work waiting for me. It means that I feel guilty because my coworkers are taking on an extra load and there’s nothing I can do to help (beyond being very available via phone and email to help with tasks that are usually mine). I like working; I miss working. I think the structure and distraction would be nice right now. (There is a caveat here that I don’t have kids and this would be a very different situation if I did).

      I’m not saying that I have it worse, just that it’s a bad situation for both parties. And I do feel for you as I feel for my team right now. I just want to help!

    3. Academic Librarian*

      I am a librarian and while the rest of the librarians and I have a lot of reference and research work we can be doing from home, the circulation staff don’t have any work because their jobs are centered on handling materials. Our university is paying everyone to work from home, so for the past month, the circ staff have been getting paid even if they don’t have any work to do.

      At first, I was slightly envious, but quickly realized that while it might be great for them now to get paid and not have to do any work, if we remain closed for a long time, there likely will be layoffs. Those who can’t work from home will be the first to go. So, now I feel grateful that I *do* have meaningful work to do from home.

  103. The Man, Becky Lynch*

    I want to be positive today, I have been drained otherwise. So the real upside to WFH on my side is that I eat more regularly and better. At the office, I hate bringing a lunch. I keep snacks and stuff around whenever possible but tend to cave to just going to buying something at some point. Being within reach of my kitchen has paid off. So now I do “get it” on that level for why that’s listed as a perk for a lot of people who are regularly remote!

    I haven’t “missed” lunch or did the “FML it’s 3pm and I haven’t taken a lunch yet…don’t wanna…” on any of my WFH days.

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      Yes, being able to cook all of my meals was in my top three best things about working from home full time list (using my own toilet was number 1) – I’ve saved so much money not eating take out these last 11 months and my weight has stayed consistent. I was truly concerned I would blow up due to sitting all day and eating all my junk food up, but I haven’t done that either – being able to do mid-day yoga and high intensity exercise has made the difference, I’m sure.

  104. Kristi E.*

    We are working in an non-public essential business. I could work from home but my team can’t so I’m coming into the office. We have cut back the people coming into the office so it is basically just my team. But one of my employees doesn’t want to work because of the pandemic. I understand that she is stressed and worried but everybody is stressed and worried. We don’t come in our employees don’t get paid. Our customers don’t get billed and our vendors don’t get paid. We can’t just shut down. One of our division sanitizes the office daily, and we have PPE available. So every precaution has been taken. I let her take time off this week but I’m not sure at this point that she will come back to work. I feel like a jerk making her come to work but on the other hand, we’ve got stuff to do.

  105. Josephine Beth NotAmy*

    I’m exhausted, and I’m in a fairly supportive organization, so I can’t imagine how hard others must have it. I feel like I work 10x harder than I did prior to the shutdown. I’m used to driving a lot for work (home visitor) with the decompress time in between, but now I’m in zoom meetings and visits back to back every day for 8-10 hours. My boss is incredibly stressed and using me as a sounding board, while my staff is also stressed and I’m trying to support them in any way I can. Did I mention I’m exhausted?

    1. PrincessFlyingHedgehog*

      It’s sounds like you are providing a ton of emotional support for everyone around you. Of course you’re exhausted! Do you have anyone you can turn to for emotional support?

    2. NotAPirate*

      Can you carve out little fake driving time breaks for yourself? Schedule your calls with little gaps in between. You’d want to get a cup of tea, use the bathroom, have a buffer in case someone runs over anyway. Then just like listen to 15min of a podcast or radio in the gap like you would in a car? Maybe that would help. There’s a fable I like, “You can’t pour from a cup that is empty” – youcan’t help others if you’re burnt out. Stepping back a little means you might be able to keep helping some over a longer period of time. Make sure you’re drinking enough water and eating regularly, nonstop work is the worst. I used to refill my water bottle when I went from one meeting to another, now at my desk all day I have stopped drinking water, oops. Started tracking water again and it’s really helped.

  106. Kage*

    Related to Letter #2 this morning on quitting post-PPP loan:
    My husband’s company of 4 had someone voluntarily leave in mid-February. They were interviewing to replace them but didn’t actually hire anyone as COVID started to hit our area. They’ve now applied for the PPP (we’ll see if they get it). Right now they’re all on reduced hours/furlough while waiting for a decision.

    If they get the PPP, would they have to quickly hire someone new to stay eligible for the forgiveness option (to get their headcounts up)? While they’re obviously willing to bring all the current staff back to full-time/full-pay as soon as it comes thru, they are (understandably) nervous about hiring someone if the workload itself isn’t actually there to support another person. The boss has always prided himself on being the type of employer that didn’t do quick hire/fire waves.

    1. Lucy P*

      I’ve wondered the same thing. We’ve been on a hiring freeze for almost 3 years, never replacing anyone who left voluntarily.

    2. Ali G*

      It’s probably not enough to make a difference. Worst case scenario, if they are short on the 75% going to wages, they can give some one time retention bonuses to make up the difference. It’s not the head count that matters (although the intention it to keep people on payroll), it’s whether or not they use 75% of the money they receive for payroll in the allotted time and do not drastically reduce workforce (so you also can’t layoff half your staff and give everyone else raises).

      1. Kage*

        The wages-only part is what I had previously thought but I don’t know if that’s true now based on Alison’s response this morning: “The forgiven amount is also reduced if the company has fewer employees compared to their average headcount during the previous 12-months and don’t hire them back by June 30.”

        With a smaller firm this can easily definitely can become an issue. For example, with them being only 3 to 4 people over April 2019-March 2020, their 12-month average for staff will be 3.875 (assuming they count Feb as 3.5 people since the person left mid-month). So them only having 3 people instead of 3.875 (or 4 if they round), seems to point to the idea that they’d have to hire someone by June 30 to keep the loan eligible for forgiveness….

  107. Respectfully, Pumat Sol*

    Despite being an extrovert, I am adjusting to this new normal. It helps that my husband, who is high risk, is now working from home. I have some company and I am not worried about him being exposed all day every day. We’re finding new ways to connect with people. I’m learning how to do my project management job remotely, which is very different from how I used to function – I am a very in-person kind of PM. I like to go to people’s offices and touch base, rather than email or IM. About half my team was laid off two weeks ago, so we’re all still trying to pick up the pieces. It’s been a challenge. We hope to rehire most of them when this is all over, but who knows when that will be, or if they’ll all still be available. I am coming to terms with the fact that I will likely be working from home far longer than any shelter in place order lasts. My husband is high risk and it’s just too great a risk for a second wave of infections when people can go in public again. I’ve alluded to this with my boss, but it will be very interesting to see how it all plays out when most of my office returns and I am still WFH indefinitely. I just feel like I have to. One of my coworkers that sits in the office across from me – his wife works in healthcare as a nurse or something like that. I can’t risk the exposure to him.

  108. Anonymous and partially furloughed*

    My spouse has yet to get anything official from unemployment saying what his amount is, when it might show up, even if he’s definitely approved. He did get an email yesterday saying “we’re backed up, we know you probably haven’t gotten your UI determination letter, but certify tomorrow anyway.” It said he could certify starting at 5 a.m., so we both got up to do this in hopes that the website maybe wouldn’t crash first thing. (Neither of us are morning people so we figured between the both of us we might be able to scrape together enough executive function to figure out how to certify).

    He was able to certify right away, no glitches, was able to update his direct deposit info too. Still no word on whether or when he’s getting anything, but at least we now know they are aware of him and that his application did not fall into a black hole. Baby steps. I am taking this as a small win.

    He’s struggling a lot with job hunting. He has depression and his previous field was very toxic and a bad fit for him, but unfortunately, the kind of work he’d likely do better at (specifically non-desk work that involves physical activity) is not an option since he is at higher risk so WFH is really the only thing he’s able to do. Things are not yet so dire that we have to put our health at risk in order to make ends meet. But he’s not finding many listings for WFH jobs he’s qualified for that do not involve call center or customer service, which are bad fits for him and very bad for his mental health.

    I am still working though on an 80% schedule. I also have a side business that I am flogging as hard as I can and I’ve gotten decent sales (for me) over the past week or so. Struggling some with resentment that I am the one working yet *I* am the one using my non-work time to try and figure out how to bring in more money. I even signed up for some of those dumb survey sites that supposedly pay you in Amazon gift cards, though I’ve yet to qualify for anything.

    I feel like all my executive function is going toward a) how to get food and supplies into the house without leaving, as delivery services are very backed up and often unreliable, getting cancelled at the last minute, b) being hyper aware of anything I have touched any time I step outside my apartment even if it’s just to go in the building basement (my neighbor is coughing a lot… she’s a smoker but who knows, these days) and trying to remember to constantly wash/sanitize myself any time I touch literally anything. It makes it hard to concentrate on my job. I catch myself just randomly starting to tear up in the middle of a work day when no work things are going wrong.

  109. Alex*

    This experience has really thrown into relief how much I hate my work life. I hate the commute. I hate being in the cube farm. Not having to do either of those things has been such a huge relief. I knew that I hated my job, but just having these two things be lifted from my daily grind is like taking 100 pounds off of my shoulders. The rest of my job feels less awful.

    It’s good information to know about myself.

    Of course, my organization is deeply financially F***** at this point and I’m worried about my continued ability to be employed but I’m just trying to enjoy my pajamas while I can and be grateful for every pay period I still have a paycheck.

    1. Lucy P*

      I love what I do, but don’t often love where I do it. There’s too much strife and stress from the top down. I miss a regular paycheck, but can’t say as I miss those people.

      My boss asked me to keep in touch with the staff and report back to the boss if anyone was in need financially or in need of a general assurance. One person texted me back yesterday, “I’m fine. Text me again when you have news.” Why should I give a rat’s a** about these people? Being home has been so nice

  110. PrincessFlyingHedgehog*

    I work at a university, and we (employees) just got an email about the university’s financial situation … no layoffs, paycuts, or furloughing YET, but the president acknowledges it’s a possibility. Right now, it’s about a hiring freeze, minimizing expenses, etc. But this email has totally sent me into an anxiety spiral about the future and how my job could be affected. I know I’ve been very lucky so far, but I’ve been struggling with the anxiety and uncertainty, and while I appreciate the president’s candor about how the institution has been affected, now I’m going to spend the rest of the day spinning my wheels with worry that I may face paycuts or furloughs or layoffs this summer.

    1. Diahann Carroll*

      That was me a couple of weeks ago when our company CFO’s talked about possible steps our company will be taking to retain all employee jobs, which they claim is their #1 focus right now. We did get told our quarterly bonuses will be cut up to 10% starting in Q2 through Q4, raises and promotions are cancelled for the year, and all the ways they plan to cut expenses (including cancelling in-person events, even when stay at home orders are lifted; cutting down on our software usage; limiting travel to purely essential trips only, so goodbye, yearly team meetup trips), but I spent days worrying myself sick that layoffs and furloughs will start coming down soon, especially since CFO’s presentation said a voluntary furlough program is also being floated around. I’m a creative at my company – we’re typically not considered essential. It would be disastrous for me to lose my job or, god forbid, they start cutting our (very good) benefits.

      I have no advice on how to get past this fear (it’s still in the back of my mind every day, which is why I promptly put my stimulus check and the profit sharing bonus I received at the end of March into my savings account for an emergency fund) – just wanted to say I sympathize and show solidarity.

  111. DanniellaBee*

    I am so tired of being treated like everything is normal and we need to continue to push through with pressure for high productivity during a literal global crisis. At my job we are lucky to be at home and protected but the constant pressure to produce, produce, produce while we are under this strain and totally out of our routines is tiring. Our moral was already severely impacted because they announced a brutal re-org in January and promised us no layoffs followed by huge layoffs in February. Then guess what, more layoffs yesterday this time due to COVID. I am usually a very high performer and my rating reflects that but I am have an extremely hard time doing anything but what is absolutely required of me these days. I just do not have it in me and I know many of my coworkers are feeling the same way during these difficult times.

  112. Lucy P*

    Whenever the stay at home order expires in my state, it’s possible that it may still be highly recommended for people to wear face coverings at work. I have a few cloth masks I’ve made, but I find that they really do muffle the sound of my voice, plus I talk low (always feel that talking louder makes me sound like I’m yelling).
    On top of that, we have a deaf person in the office who reads lips. If I take off my mask to talk to them, it’s defeating the purpose. I’ve seen the masks that the student invented for this purpose, but have no idea where to buy them.
    Plus, due to an already low budget, I can’t see the company paying for them.
    Anyone have ideas on what can be done to accommodate this person? Even if I managed to find one for myself, there’s another dozen or so people in the office who would need them.

    1. Meels*

      I’d be really surprised if people were recommending face-masks at work, with the exception of certain businesses/organisations (like healthcare). For one thing, WHO only recommends them if you’re actively caretaking some one with COVID-19. Plus, if things are still so bad that you need to wear face masks at work, surely the lockdown will be ongoing, so most people will be WFH? I think it’s unlikely that this will be a huge issue.

      1. Diahann Carroll*

        No, there are certain places in the U.S. that are mandating wearing face masks in public, even at work for non-healthcare employees. This is a serious concern.

        Lucy P, I have no idea how you would accommodate this person other than writing everything down and limiting actual face-to-face conversations, which is awful. But you’re right – you guys can’t pull your masks down to talk because that does defeat the purpose.

    3. Lepidoptera*

      If you google “see through surgical masks” a lot of products come up.
      I’m pretty sure that they were also mentioned on the last season of Switched at Birth, which is how I thought to Google that.

  113. Heffalump*

    I’ve been teleworking for 3 weeks, and it isn’t too bad—yet. There are some hands-on aspects of the work that I miss. OTOH, not having to commute (25 miles each way) is effectively shortening my workday.

    My employer issued all teleworkers a computer, choice of desktop or laptop. I chose a laptop, and they let me borrow one of the monitors from my work desktop, to which I now remote in. My home computer is on the desk in my bedroom, and the work laptop is on an adjacent table, which I already had.

    I can’t really get away from the laptop and its monitor physically, but I can turn them off and get away mentally. The fact that the work computers are Windows and my home computer is a Mac helps maintain the separation, but I think I’d be able to maintain it anyway. It helps that I’m on the clock with a definite shift and lunchtime.

    My workgroup has a weekly meeting, which now takes place via Microsoft Teams. It’s OK but not quite the same.

    Having said all this, I’ll probably be glad to go back in to the office when this is over.

  114. NotAPirate*

    My work has been using microsoft teams. Due to internet demands we are not using the video chat. But no one is communicating anything non work, even in the chat text threads. Almost everyone is introverted, about half the office lives alone, the other half with a significant other (no kids). We didn’t spend much water cooler time before, but it feels very weird to have gone to zero casual chat. We used to have chats before meetings while waiting on people at least. It’s weird. I’m not sure how/if to start a non work thing at work right now.

    1. Matilda Jefferies*

      I think you can probably just start! Lots of people are probably missing the office by now, even the non-water cooler types.

      Send out a meeting invite and say something like “this is totally optional, but if anyone wants to join me for a virtual coffee break next week, I’d love to see you!” Use the video if you can. Then take the lead on facilitating the meeting when it comes along. Ask everyone how they’re doing, what’s their favourite part of working from home, any signs of spring that they’re excited about, etc. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work – but it’s worth a try at any rate. Good luck!

    2. Nynaeve*

      I also set up specific chat channels for specific types of interactions: general break room chat, cute happy things, dark humor, vent about your stress, and work from home tips/questions. That gave it a little more structure and allowed people to opt in and out and generally match the type of interactions they had with what they wanted.

  115. JDC*

    I’m finding myself struggling with emotions with all the commercials and news about it. I’m finding myself crying a little here and there. I guess it just feels overwhelming and understandably scared. I am also ready to get some space for my family. I’m crazy about them but I could use a little space as I’m one who appreciates my alone time. It isn’t really the same just going into another room.

  116. Nicki Name*

    It took until yesterday for my boss to accidentally show us part of his pajama bottoms for a moment during a video meeting.

    I’m going to keep telling myself those where pajama bottoms, anyway, and not boxer shorts.

  117. anon@home*

    I am struggling so much. Most of my job is normally on the computer, and I have a dedicated work from home space (it’s in the basement, so cold, but I have monitors and a good chair, etc). However things that normally were manageable but occasionally a struggle when I was going into the office (like, anxiety, depression, and adhd) have been blown up to 11 working from home, and my productivity has taken a dive as the department head congrats everyone else on keeping on like nothing has changed. The scariest part is the losing time–I’ll be struggling with something that normally takes a hour, and when I check the clock it will be 3 hours later and I’m no closer to finishing.

    I also live alone, and I never realized how much I relied on the casual social interaction I got at the office. And I also feel guilty, because coworkers have kids and they are still able to get things done, and I only have to worry about the cat sleeping on my desk and yet am struggling so much. And I have no idea how to convey to my boss that “hey, I realize that everyone is stressed right now but I’m having a full blown mental health crisis on top of it” due to stigma, etc.

  118. Feline*

    I’m in an industry that has ended up with a lot of extra, unscheduled work due to the financial side of the pandemic. This extra work has heaped on us while our regularly scheduled work has not let up. One of Allison’s posts this week mentioned how companies should be reevaluating priorities and even eliminating things for the time being, and I shook my head sadly when I read it. In a recent meeting, someone pretty high up the food chain was asked about what could be deprioritized said, “It’s all critical work!”

    Is anyone else dealing with a significant uptick in workload while struggling for productivity? How are you managing? Drinking during the workday is not an option here, even when it seems the sanest answer.

    1. Jules the First*

      I hear you. I am so angry right now – we’ve been forced to take a 20% paycut, and yet my workload would be insane even in normal times, and I still have people rocking up to say “oh, can I get this last minute thing done urgently” and I’m like “I have no capacity to do that” and they’re like “y’all must have a ton of time to get this absolutely perfect and by the by I need this huge document assembled , updated, reformatted and sent to me for comment by COB, kthxbye” and I’m sitting here going “dude, that’s five hours of work and it’s 5.55pm!”

      Making matter worse, my boss gave me crap today for not turning up at the weekly team social…and I missed it because I was in a freaking meeting! With a paying client!

      1. KD*

        I hate how a lot of employers are taking advantage of this situation because “you should be grateful to have a job” and we are all too scared to ever push back because of possible layoffs.

    2. LC*

      I’m completely with you on this one – I work in financial services and we’ve been insanely busy with random requests on top of our day-to-day work (and it’s a busy time of year to begin with). My boss is being extra rigid about deadlines/projects and refuses to see anything as non-critical. I have a toddler at home now and my husband also works a full-time, stressful job, so we are struggling.

      I try to listen to a funny podcast as background noise while I work, and that helps a little. Reading AAM helps too since it makes me feel less alone in all of this. But mostly, I’ve been really sad and disappointed in the leadership of my company, and am putting out feelers for new roles.

  119. shiningcat*

    I am a freelance musician. All of my work has been cancelled through the summer. August gigs are, thus far, still holding. There is a question about next year, as well, because my work as a classical musician depends on the financial sustainability of the orgs that hire me and those orgs are struggling.

    I play an instrument that doesn’t work solo — I need to be playing with members of an ensemble for it to work. There is no substitute for this — virtual live playing has delays and multi-tracking eliminates any semblance of ensemble connection. I am lucky to live in an environment where people recognize that music is my actual day job, and it’s how I make money, and that in order for me to get back to work when this is over, I need to maintain by practicing. We respect each other’s schedules and noisy/quiet times of day. So there’s that, and I’m lucky. I felt alienated by a lot of comments here recently, and the post that complained about people being surrounded by tubas, but I also felt thankful that so many people also recognized that most of us are trying as hard as anyone else to respect our neighbors and keep a reasonable practice schedule to maintain our own work-from-home requirements.

    But it’s horribly lonely. As an ensemble musician, my job is also partly my spiritual fulfillment. And no money is coming in, and unemployment in my state isn’t set up yet for freelancers. So I’ve been sporadically teaching online lessons and taking on various writing projects to make a little money and fill the time. But I’m depressed and unmotivated, and even practicing myself is hard and has become a huge chore. I play so much less than I need to be playing to maintain.

    This site is geared mostly to the traditional job sector, I realize. I’d love to hear more from people like me, with non-traditional jobs: entertainment people, actors, musicians, tour guides…people whose jobs require other people and financial sustainability of an entire industry. I’m holding up but I’m scared, and feel very much alone.

    1. Nynaeve*

      I’m sorry things are so difficult right now! If it makes you feel better, even if these jobs haven’t been deemed “essential” for survival, I think they’re the jobs a lot of people are missing and hope come back – the jobs that make us all feel more connected and more human. There were so many great concerts I was looking forward to this year. I hope they’ll eventually be back.

      1. shiningcat*

        Thanks, Nynaeve, for the kind words! I hope so. By the way, love your handle — Wheel of Time??

        1. Nynaeve*

          Yes! My friends and I are excited for the new show. Though that may very well be on hold as well… let’s get the Yellow Ajah on this pandemic!

      2. Diahann Carroll*

        All of this. I’m so heartbroken that my season tickets to the opera have been cancelled – I love music and to not get to see wonderful live performances is killing me.

    2. V*

      Another classical musician here who’s devastated. I’m really, really lucky in that having my performance schedule wiped through August won’t destroy me financially, though it’ll hurt a lot – I have some savings and a couple side-jobs (think academic editing-type stuff) that can be done remotely and haven’t fallen through yet, and I was accepted to a fully-funded doctorate in my corner of the performance landscape right before this all hit, so I’ll have some meagre security starting in September – but it’s been terrifying and heartbreaking to watch our industry collapse overnight, and to wonder when we’ll be allowed to work again, and whether it’s ever going to feel safe or financially viable again. The total lack of protections for people classified as independent contractors doesn’t help, either. :(

      (I was also a bit stung by the recent thread about musicians practicing at home, though I didn’t want to get in the middle of it – not least because most other people working from home are presumably getting paid to do so, while the vast majority of musicians… are not, or if we’re getting paid for online performances it’s very, very little. We have no money coming in and we’re practicing so we don’t lose our technique and muscle memory, just so we can have the *hope* of getting work again when this is all over – in an environment that’s likely to have fewer openings and less money to go around than ever.)

      I’m also lucky in that I’ve got an instrument that does work solo, so I can pick things to work on that don’t feel totally hollowed out without other people – but I’m also finding the motivation hard to come by. I’m not much of a people person otherwise, and the brightest hours of my days have always been the ones where I got to share the music with other people. I’m playing much less than I should be, too – in part because I feel cringingly self-conscious about playing at home (“home” being a small apartment I share with a roommate, who says they don’t mind my playing at all but whom I still worry about inconveniencing or bothering anyway), and in part because it all just feels hopeless at the moment. We’re maybe the least essential of the nonessentials from a purely economic standpoint (which seems to be the only one an awful lot of people care about – I’m constantly bracing for some form of “you’re getting what you deserve for picking a completely unreasonable profession” at this point), this isn’t going to be over in a matter of weeks or months and if/when it *is* over we’ll be going out into a very different landscape than the one we came in with, and I’m terrified this won’t *be* a career option anymore, for anyone, no matter how good they are.

  120. Day Dreaming*

    So, is anyone else wondering about what our society will be like when this is all over? How many jobs will go right back to “butts in seats” when they were perfectly fine working remotely? Will restaurants keep cramming as many tables as they can into dining rooms or spread them out more? I have to imagine that all this reduced driving is doing wonders for our environment. And the whole concept of “I’m So Busy.” Maybe we’ll realize we don’t have to load our kids down with hours of homework every night, and be in scouts, swimming, piano, baseball, all at the same time? The ONE silver lining of this for me, is that everyone has stopped being so gosh darn BUSY. People are home, with their families (more or less). While we can’t necessarily hang out with neighbors right now… wouldn’t it be great if when we went back to our normal lives… if we kept some of this down time?

    Anyone else day dreaming about this kind of stuff? What would you like to see stick around after this is all over?

    1. NotAPirate*

      I disagree.

      I’m not at home with my family. Normally we hang out once a month. Now it’s indefinite no travel.

      I’m not on infinite down time. I am still “so busy”, making masks, helping extrovert friends feel connected, calling older folks to check in on them, running extra errands for those who can’t risk it.

      Restaurants have lots of tables to have lots of revenue. I don’t think that will change. Especially after they lose all this money.

      The environment is more impacted by manufacturing than daily commuters. Manufacturing is still ongoing.

      Swimming, baseball, piano, scouts are good and valuable activities that teach so many skills from teamwork to fitness. Staying active mentally and physically has proven benefits against Alzheimers, and other disorders. I look forward to the return of activities for kids and for adults.

      1. Anax*

        Yeah, downtime sounds like a foreign concept to me right now. I’m much busier than usual, often staying up until midnight or later to get overtime and household necessities done, back up at six, and it doesn’t help that exhaustion and anxiety are eating up some of my time. There’s a lot less relaxing and a lot more crying hysterically into a pillow.

      2. Seven hobbits are highly effective, people*

        Yeah, I feel like I have my regular full-time job, which can be done completely from home but takes longer and is less efficient that way (partially due to not having certain equipment), plus all of these annoying new Bonus Activities like “cook everything from scratch”, “sew masks”, “try to fix anything around the house that breaks by myself using tools I already own”, “disinfect the mail”, “figure out how to buy food and supplies with minimal contact”, and so on. I had big plans that I was going to re-watch Babylon 5 with my new “spare time”, but it turns out that I don’t actually HAVE any spare time and have not watched a single episode.

    2. Nessun*

      Someone on a call today asked my leadership team about what we’ll look like after all this. The answers seemed to indicate that we’re going to keep some of the changes – we’ve always been open to WFH, but I think a lot of people will rethink where and how they work and the firm will allow just about all options. Which is great! We’re proving that we can do our work on so many ways that weren’t considered before. (I just wish we were already at that choice instead of necessity. )

    3. Diahann Carroll*

      My company said that because of how seamlessly we transitioned to having 99% of our 3500+ staff work from home (which, we’re a software company, so that makes sense), they’ll be rethinking some things in regards to our buildings and whether or not we need to have field offices across the U.S., Europe, and Asia. I can totally see them closing down every office outside of the headquarters.

    4. Princess Zelda*

      Personally, I’m having a really hard time — I live alone and normally, I have plenty of human contact and then come home and rest. I go to restaurants and coffee shops and libraries and parks to write and I go to the zoo on my day off and I eat something new from a food truck every month. I’m an introvert, I can’t have people in my “me” space, but I’m also someone who can’t live in my own head because I’ll drive myself depressed. Now, I can’t go have shared experiences and have dinner in the park, I’m completely alone with my thoughts for 90% of the day, and my thoughts aren’t terribly nice to me. Being alone with my thoughts this much also drains me of energy almost as much as people do — so my apartment isn’t getting any cleaner, and my language skills aren’t getting any sharper.

      I like being busy, and I like people. Being laid off and stuck indoors and not being able to have human contact SUCKS.

  121. Just a PM*

    Is anyone else feeling burned out by all the WFH/teleworking, video conferencing, phone calls, etc? Even though I have a lot more flexibility and all my projects have slowed down (by a LOT), I’m waking up exhausted and wanting to sleep instead of work.

    1. MissDisplaced*

      At first I loved it because I like WFH. But without outlets for when you’re not working, yeah, I feel restless and easily distracted now.

    3. Silly Janet*

      Oh my god YES. I have been working from home for the last month, and our daily Zoom (technically Amazon Chime, but same idea) calls would often run 2.5 hours. They would take up the entire morning, I was getting very burned out by them. On Monday I was asked if I would help out on a new project, on top of the three I am already doing. I said I did not feel I would have time to do it in top of what I am already doing and because the meetings take up so much time. I said it professionally, but there was a very awkward silence. Saying no does not happen at this company- at our convention, an employee literally won an award for never saying no. But I have not been asked to join a meeting since, and my mental health has been vastly better. Those calls are exhausting! Not to mention that my job, which already had poor boundaries, seems to think we now work all weekend as well. So yes, it is very challenging. I hope I am not in trouble, but so far it is worth out to have gotten out of the Zooms.

  122. Rebecca*

    I like working from home more than being at the office because I don’t have a commute, I don’t have to pack a lunch, I’m not putting 37 or so miles a day on my car, etc. I wish it were peaceful, but it’s not – my elderly mother who is usually difficult and nasty is much worse, slamming things around in the kitchen upstairs right above me, TV blaring, it’s maddening. Sometimes I put earbuds in to tune it all out. I wish I had my own place, at least it would be quiet.

    The one thing I really do like is that I’m not constantly interrupted by people walking up “did you see that email, when are you going to do this, did you do that” all the micromanaging that goes on all day every day has evaporated. That’s the best part of this whole mess.

  123. WFHHalloweenCat*

    We’re supposed to track any downtime during the work day that is related to covid/suddenly having to work from home. We are expected to account for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week even though we are all salaried. I found out I was the only person in my department logging any covid downtime. It was only a half hour here and there because of network connection issues. If my internet drops at 4:30, it doesn’t make sense to spend the 15 minutes to try to get it back up and running. I’m worried if I plow through all my work for 8 hours straight every day this goes on without the normal office disruptions to slow me down, I’ll run out of things to do! I’m also worried that if I’m honest about NOT being able to fill 8 hours a day, I’ll get laid off even though my company keeps promising they won’t lay people off.

  124. Booksnbooks*

    I know an essential worker, albeit one who works on a skeleton staff of only 4 people. Two of their colleagues have decided to cross state lines to attend a family gathering, and I am extremely concerned. Both the work location and the state they will be visiting are under stay-at-home directives with rules about crossing state lines. Is this something their office can tell them they cannot do, because of the number of people who will be impacted if they are exposed to covid-19 during this ill-advised trip? It puts themselves and everyone in the office, and everyone’s families, at risk.

    1. fposte*

      I mean, it’s probably legal to fire them for it, since there’s no law against it. They might also, depending on the circumstances, be eligible for quarantine pay under the FFCRA if their office wished them to stay quarantined following the event. But it’s also getting into a level of personal-life involvement that employers don’t necessarily want to do, so it’s quite possible that they’d choose not to do anything.

      But I think there are two things here–one is the frustration of people not abiding by the rules, and the other is the risk. There’s nothing epidemiologically magic about a state boundary, so a family gathering across the line in state B may not present any more risk than a family gathering in state A. The unusual thing here is that it’s small and they know about it; most of us in big offices almost certainly work with people who aren’t following the rules but we don’t necessarily know. On a personal level, we really have limited ability to make other people follow the rules, and we generally have to find a way to make peace with that.

      1. Old and Don’t Care*

        Yes, Governor Bae in Kentucky apparently thinks the Ohio River is a magical forcefield that keeps his residents safe from the virus lurking in Ohio. It is okay to drive 10 miles from one county in Northern Kentucky to another, but not 2 miles from N. Kentucky to Cincinnati (unless you are one of the thousands of people who work there). Also not okay to run across the pedestrian bridge to run along the Ohio side of the river. Actually I suspect the Governor doesn’t believe in the magic forcefield but it’s easier to make a simple bad regulation than a not simple good one.

        Kentucky border levity aside, I would have serious concerns about attending any family gathering, regardless of whether it crossed state lines; family gatherings seem to be generators of hot spots. But I agree that we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t much control what others do.

  125. Curious George*

    I’m a middle manager working out of my studio apartment in the middle of Epidemia (my new name for NYC). I’ve been home for a month, working off my tiny laptop on my kitchen table. I think I’m experiencing a little bit of what everyone here has mentioned. I’ve been able to establish a routine and for the most part shut work off around 5 (the company has been really good about encouraging that). My sleep isn’t great and I’m either exhausted or wired. I have a mild, headache most days, but that might also be extreme boredom or ennui. I’d love to go out more and take a walk around the block every day, but even venturing into the hallway of my building to throw out the trash requires a full set up of protection and I have a limited number of gloves and masks, so I usually only go out 3x a week.

    The majority of my anxiety is that I feel I can’t manage my team effectively. I don’t have projects for them to work on and feel like I’m just giving them busy work to keep them occupied. Some of this is because the nature of our work has changed and there’s so much overlap that it’s not possible to just assign them something without making sure that it doesn’t impact something that my boss is doing. I have a weekly 1:1 with him and we’re in touch regularly throughout the week. But I also don’t want to harass the poor man. He’s in meetings constantly and I know things are difficult and he shouldn’t have to manage my anxiety. He’s mentioned a few times that he knows the team does not have much to do and we’ve discussed some of the management difficulties we’re facing. But, that’s rare and to be honest, if I had my way, I would ask for more validation or direction. But, that’s a sensitive conversation that I would have at an opportune time and these days, there are no opportune times.

  126. Aquawoman*

    Someone last week mentioned that they are doing an open-door thing where they get on Zoom/skype/etc and people can “stop by” as needed. I wanted to say thanks for that idea; my team was very enthusiastic about the idea. I have several new team members and I think it can be hard to negotiate when to “bother” me (they always say “bother,” and I’m like, you mean, do my actual job that I get paid for?).

  127. Batty Twerp*

    I don’t know how I feel at the moment.
    We’re on week 4 of the lockdown – I’ve been working from home since 17th March. I’ve got a pretty ok set-up, I’m comfortable enough and I’ve got a decent routine (I have a “commute” – I go to the end of our garden and back to ensure my brain gets the “that’s daylight – time to wake up and function” message).
    But I’ve been seconded back to my old position because of my experience and they are needed to help keep the company afloat. And this I absolutely hate! I left that team for a *reason*.
    The weirdest thing is that I’ve discovered, without the constant interruptions, the phone, the drop-by’s, my (ex)boss’s “cudja-justs” and constant requests for help for things she really should have worked out on her own, I’m over-efficient. I’m accomplishing in just over half a day what would have taken nearly two days in the office. I’m… running out of things to do.
    I keep being invited into the team’s weekly Skype call as well as my own team’s check-in and I’m running out of patience sitting on mute listening to (ex)boss enjoying the sound of her own voice. The fun part is, I’ve also had calls with a couple of the newest team members and they’ve been gently (and not so gently) complaining about (ex)boss! (direct quote: “how did you ever put up with her?”) I feel vindicated! All that time I wasn’t going mad – she really is a useless manager.

    I’m also still supposed to be doing some work in my normal role, but my current manager is snowed under with requests from *her* boss and, since I’m being “given” work to do, she’s not able to devote her attention to me as she would normally do.
    These are… interesting times.

    1. Batty Twerp*

      Update – not a good one. I’ve just found myself flipping double birds at my work mobile phone when (ex)boss called. She’s the only one who calls that number – everyone else Skype calls, dials the softphone number (same as ringing my desk landline were I still in the office) or calls my private mobile (for work-related calls, only HR and my current manager have this number) – so if it ever makes a noise, I know it’s her. I wanted to fling it across the room.

      I hate that I am not struggling with WFH; when this is all over, I may put forward a case to shift to a 2-days-out-of-the-office working arrangement. I’m struggling entirely with the nature of the work I’ve been given and who I’ve been given it by.
      What makes it worse is that the work is kind of important for keeping the company afloat so my furloughed colleagues have jobs to come back to. My motivation is through the floor and still sinking.

  128. MissDisplaced*

    For the most part, my life and job are pretty much the same. Except I get to WFH all the time now. Mostly I’m fine with WFH and was seeking it before the pandemic because I like WFH. The main thing I struggle with is Hubs being around distracting and with constant snacking/restlessness because there aren’t the typical outlets and places to go when not working. First-world white-collar issues I know! The work I do hasn’t really changed much and I have plenty of it to do to keep busy–it’s a very introverted type of work in general and that suits me fine. And while my company has instituted some rotating furlough weeks, those are fairly minor and will not be a significant impact/hit to my salary. The company has some other issues though, and those were apparent even before COVID-19 struck, so those may still affect me if this continues much longer. So, overall, it’s ok now, but definitely the uncertainty looms.

    My state is fortunate to be one that isn’t too terrible. Yes, there are many cases of COVID and deaths, but it is not nearly as dire as some nearby states. While I am relieved about that, I admit there is a feeling of what I call “unreality” that is is even going on? Because you look outside and things appear normal–my days are mostly normal. Yet I know it is happening and I feel terrible for those who’ve lost friends and family and livelihoods… but it hasn’t affected anyone I personally know yet. It’s very strange to feel that way–like you should also be suffering or something?

    Because a lot of this has not affected me much, I feel sort of guilty. For example, I got the direct deposit for the stimulus (mine was a reduced amount) and I feel guilty I even got that, let alone got it this fast, when others are suffering and struggling (I have no idea why mine was so fast except I file taxes online). I am considering donating it to a local food bank or something, because honestly I don’t “need” it right now (well, I mean who couldn’t use money–but I’m surely not hurting or desperate). But there is also a niggling fear of “what if I do need it later” also scares the crap out of me as I’ve been through poverty in 2009-2010 and I wonder if I should save at least some of it just in case because you never know what life chucks your way.

    Ugh! That’s all. I’m so paralyzed at times with indecision mixed with dread, and thus seek to avoid and hide.

  129. Ray Gillette*

    I’m tired and stressed. I’m 100% WFH so it could be worse, but every time someone brings up how I don’t have to commute anymore, I want to scream. Yeah, I’m not commuting anymore, but you know what I’m doing in that time instead? Working. I’m less productive from home because my apartment is woefully inadequate to serve as a home office. The occasional day here and there when I’m feeling under the weather or need to sign for a package is fine, but not weeks on end. The company has authorized me to take my desk and workstation home if I want, but even if I had a way to get a desk from the office to my apartment, I don’t have anywhere to put a desk.

    So the only way for me to get even close to getting everything done is to work longer hours. Nobody is going to yell at me if I don’t, but if I don’t do the work it doesn’t get done. I’ll just have to do it the next day, and putting things off means my backlog grows even faster than when I work long days, and that’s even more stressful.

    I know in the abstract that I should be grateful to be employed and working from home – my company is able to keep the lights on because we’re a product that makes working from home easier, so while our clients are behind on their bills, they’re still operating and that means that most of those bills should at some point get paid. But knowing I should feel grateful when I actually feel like crap makes it even worse.

  130. Probably Taking This Too Seriously*

    I miss people.
    Also, people irritate me. Like the ones I live with (aka spouse and kids), the slacker coworker and the one who sends me emails at 9:30 pm. And the neighbors who don’t take social distancing seriously and the Facebook group evangelist who posts pictures of my neighbors not taking social distancing seriously.
    And also I feel deeply connected to people at the same time. Playing cards with my kids is so fun when they are not driving me crazy.
    I’m kind of a mess!

  131. NewbieNewbieNew*

    I’m supposed to start a new office job after being unemployed and a stay at home parent for a couple years. My spouse is teleworking 80% of the time, and we have a three year old and a five year old. The staff at my new job is teleworking 60% of the time, and everyone seems pretty flexible. I don’t even know what to ask. How much am I going to hate my life?

  133. JF*

    Has anyone’s company done anything interesting to help soften the blow of paycuts? I realize the situation everyone is in and don’t want to be too negative, but my company doesn’t pay much as a rule, has no cost of living increases so people go years without any raise, has bad insurance, etc, so I’m wondering if there’s something I can suggest once these paycuts are finalized.

  134. rogelio*

    I’m struggling being between my upper management and regular employees. I’m working with people whose family and friends are sick and dying and my leaders are asking why deadlines aren’t being kept or why people are asking for extensions on plans for the rest of the year–how can anyone make concrete plans right now when so much is in flux? I’ve been able to get through a bit so I’m glad for that, but it’s emotionally draining.

    What I’m really frustrated with is our HR folks refusing to offer support or make any statements about the discrimination Asians are facing as a result of the virus. We’ve had issues at work and our employees have in their personal lives, too. But they won’t share any resources, even from the CDC, on the topic because to do so would be “too political.” If I didn’t need work now I’d be walking out the door.

  135. Businessfish*

    This may sound crazy, but I actually miss my commute.

    With 2 small kids, 30 minutes each way on the train to watch a show by myself and a 20 minute walk from the train to my office to get some steps and listen to podcasts is kind of one of the best parts of my day. I’m not inclined to exercise for its own sake, but forced exercise in the name of transportation works for me. So now I’m not moving AND I’m way behind on podcasts!

    1. Ray Gillette*

      I feel this so, so hard. I also took public transit to work, so my commute provided a quiet time to read. As I mentioned above, I’m now working during what was previously my commute time to offset the productivity hits I take being at home all the time. It’s not fun.

  136. SubjectAvocado*

    Apologies if this has been asked/discussed before.
    If you’re working from home, what is your threshold for being sick before you take a sick day? My company has a culture of utilizing WFH days when we aren’t feeling well but can ostensibly work. I developed a dry cough last night (major bummer) and am now thinking at what point I would take a sick day.

    1. Heffalump*

      I’d take a sick day if I felt too sick to work effectively, or at all. Overall that would make me a bit less likely to take a sick day, as being too sick for the commute (as a solo driver) wouldn’t enter into it.

    2. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      With the caveat that I’m just in general a really healthy person: the only time I’ve called in sick same-day in the last four years or so was when I got a bad bout of food poisoning from airport food on my way home from a vacation (which was extra frustrating) and literally didn’t move more than arms’ reach from my bathroom for three days.

      If I can sit upright at my desk, if I can think clearly, if I can functionally do my job, then since I don’t have to worry about annoying or infecting anyone else with whatever hacking crud I might have, I just work through it, even if I’m slightly less productive than I might be on a normal day. I have 100% WFH for like, six years now, so I also have very limited exposure to the general crud of the world, on top of my apparently very functional immune system.( No kids, my housemate also WFH 100%, historically if my husband gets sick with something I don’t and vice versa, and I left my house about once a week BEFORE the ‘rona melted the world.) I’m not “not calling in sick” out of some sort of martyrdom, I just legit don’t get very sick very often, and my PTO is all one bucket, so I’d rather save it for vacations than blow it on something relatively minor personally.

    3. DarthVelma*

      I’m using the same basic criteria I was using before. If I’m running a fever – no work. If I can’t stand up long enough to take a shower without getting dizzy – no work. And if I turn on the light next to the bed and it feels like a little man with a white hot poker is shoving it into the back of my skull and up into my eyeball – no work.

    4. AvonLady Barksdale*

      I WFH full-time, and I took one afternoon entirely off because I was having a hard time sitting up and just wanted to close my eyes. I had some kind of weird 24-hour virus and was just… weary. For most things, though, I power through if I can. That’s partly because we have only one bucket of PTO.

      However, this also means I have worked when I shouldn’t. I get certain types of migraines that, in addition to being painful, impair my processes to the point where I say incorrect words or I have trouble writing. Because I work from home I always feel like I should just take a 30-minute nap and then get back to it, and… that’s not an attitude I would advise anyone else to have.

      If you feel like you will be less than productive and you don’t have anything pressing, take a sick day.

  137. Anon Y. Mouse*

    Does anyone have any suggestions for good noise cancelling headphones with microphones that can block out noisy inconsiderate neighbours?

    One of my neighbours changed something in her setup so that I’m hearing so much bass noises and it’s murdering my ability to get anything done

    1. Damn it, Hardison!*

      I got these on Amazon: Cowin E7 Active Noise Canceling Headphones. Not as good at noise cancelling as some (I miss the Bose pair I have at work) but works pretty well, great on calls, and not a bad price (although the price has jumped about $15 since I bought them mid-March).

  138. MP*

    My job is in a hard-hit industry (meeting and event planning), and I’ve been temporarily furloughed through June. Thankfully, I’m on solid ground financially to ride this out, but I’m afraid of what this means for my career when/if I return to work.

    I’ve worked at my company for 8 years since graduating from college, so I’m worried I’m now pigeon-holed in an industry that might not return to “normal” for years, if ever. I also have a unique role that relies heavily on industry knowledge and soft skills, so I feel my experience won’t necessarily translate to other industries (like, say, web development or accounting might).

    Should I be looking for a new job now while on unemployment? How can I use this furlough time to set myself up for the future, either at my current employer or a new one?

  139. Animal worker*

    I’m way behind on my AAM reading, so apologies if someone else already posted this. Someone at work texted this to our manager group last week, and it is pretty hysterical. I hope that it gives some of you a smile (please take them in the spirit intended as humor):

    Some observations gathered around the country to put home sheltering in perspective:

    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.

    * So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.

    * Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.

    1. Stella70*

      Thanks for this! I am trying to keep spirits up with staff and things like this are so appreciated! :)

    2. voluptuousfire*

      The little monster calling in a bomb threat made me LOL. Thank you for posting this. :)

  140. anonymoose*

    y’all I work with kids and I truly desperately miss adult social interaction and conversation I’m relieved to still be working but for the love of god someone talk to me about anything other than farm animals and toy unboxing videos!!!

  141. Misty*

    Anyone in college whose not sure what to do in the fall?

    I signed up for fall classes the other day but I think if it’s still online in the fall I’m going to need to take a semester off. Who knows what will happen though, that’s still a few months away. Just curious if anyone else was reconsidering their educational plans also.

    1. deesse877*

      I’m an instructor, not a student, but here are some things to consider:

      1) Do you go to a small school or a large school? A small school may struggle to offer everything you need every semester, so that if you miss a course in the fall, you could end up off-track for a whole year rather than a semester.

      2) Where are you in your major? Some majors, particularly the hard and applied sciences, offer courses in sequences that must be followed. And in many majors, advanced courses are often offered yearly, not every semester. If you’re a junior or a senior, see if your department or academic advisor has advice about this.

      3) Is part-time an option for you, even if it stays 100% online?

      It is inarguably true that online instruction is lower-quality than face-to-face (there is a robust literature on this), so you’re certainly right to ask the question. But you could set yourself up for more delays down the road if you take a break now without carefully planning it.

      1. Misty*

        Thanks for replying. I really appreciate it.

        I go to a small public college that’s an hour away from where I currently live. My major is geography and I’ll be a junior in September. Part time could be an option for me but I was told it would mess up my financial aid which is how I paid for this semester. I just went back to college this semester after five years off so I don’t really know if it matters if it takes me more time to graduate. (Before this I was working for the past five years as a manager at a drug store.)

        It’s hard to plan tho. The future is so uncertain. I’m pretty sure by September I won’t be living where I’m living at the moment either since my lease is up at the end of August. I have a lack of people to ask advice from and my advisor just says that I should decide whats best for me (which makes sense since he just met me this semester). *shrug*

    2. Filosofickle*

      My BF is in grad school and considering the same. He hates online learning and worries that this education isn’t good enough to prepare him a career that’s wholly interpersonal. That’s fine with me as long as he thinks through how it affects his timeline and figures out how to work instead, which could be equally challenging. (He gets a cost of living stipend, so no school means no rent money. And we live together.)

  142. cactus lady*

    I’m starting a new job in May and it sounds like for at least the first month, everything will be remote. I’m moving for this job and trying to get a home office setup that’s really functional, what is working for people? I’m fortunate to have space and funds to set it up pretty much how I’d like it.

    Also, I’m getting a new puppy the weekend after I start! Any tips on WFH with an 8-week old pup? I’m planning on setting up a gated puppy area by my desk with his crate, and having a schedule to take him out, but any other tips are greatly appreciated!

    1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      Begin as you mean to go on! I brought the Junior Ambassador home at 8 weeks and let her spend all the time she wanted napping in my lap because it was crazy cute, and I had to upgrade my desk chair to a desk armchair a couple years ago and I currently have 50 pounds of snuggly 5 year old whippet mix draped across my leg taking her half of the chair out of the middle. (And she gets really mad at husband for not having enough room in HIS chair that she can climb up and snuggle with HIM.)

      While you’re still working on house training: ration the water. If you put down a whole bowlful, and let puppy drink the whole bowlful at their leisure, I swear they will manage to quadruple the volume in pee all over your floors. :P But if you put down a little bit at a time – quarter cup, half cup? 30 minutes before the normal scheduled going-outside time, it’ll be easier to manage.

    2. pancakes*

      I’m not sure having the crate by your desk will be the best set-up, considering how much noise there may be coming from that crate at times.

  143. Picard*

    I’m absolutely catawompus as I just found out last night the PPP application we put in and confirmed last week as done was NOT actually completed as needed and had to be revised – which I spent most of the evening doing only to find out this morning that funding has been exhausted so we’re out any chance of $$ to keep people. My boss is only slightly less annoyed/aggravated/disappointed than I am. :( :(

  144. LeahS*

    I cried all morning today. I am working from home and a mistake from the past came up that I made for the second time this week. My boss e-mailed me saying the mistakes were completely unacceptable. We are all stressed because of the virus and honestly I’m glad I’m at home because this would be even worse if I had to be around my boss in the office but… I’m just struggling. This all feels like too much. I know everyone is in the same boat, it’s hard for all of us! I just needed to vent a little.

    1. Stella70*

      No idea who you are or what you do, but your boss is an ass. Can we say ass on this forum? Let’s check again:
      Your boss is an ass. Unless your mistake caused the kidnapping of a litter of defenseless kittens (catnapping?) or the destruction of the only copy of the Constitution (or my grandma’s toffee cookie recipe), then you deserve compassion and leeway and the ability to acknowledge that we are honestly living through a period of time that will be written about for decades and talked about 100 years from now. Did you shower this week? Smile at anyone? Hope or pray your loved ones are doing okay? Then you knocked it out of the park, IMO. For the rest of today, do the best you can under these circumstances. Sleep, then do it again tomorrow. Notice I didn’t say “do the best you can”, but do the best UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. Get through this time, and when you can, find a better boss. Perhaps next time, work for a human. Hugs.

      1. LeahS*

        I cannot tell you how much better this made me feel. Thank you so much. Hugs right back atcha!

  145. cleo*

    I’m relived – just found out today that my contract, which was to expire the end of the month, has been officially extended for 4 more months.

    I’ve been working remotely for about a month. It’s been OK – I’m glad to have the work but am finding the lack of structure to be bad for my mental health.

  146. Justin*

    Doing okay personally. Family (including immunocompromised wife, infant, elderly father) all safe so far.

    Weird, there is a massive nyc disaster every decade or so and I usually am okay, even as my demographic (I’m black) suffers, which leaves me with survivors guilt. (Annoyed that some other Americans seem to be blaming us for our own suffering…)

    Work, such as it is, is fine and honestly much better out of the open office, which is truly terrible for my neurodivergence. Cant complain as I’m being paid. Can those go away forever now?

    Doing well (publications etc) with my academic work. Feel weird for having good news during this but I’m grateful for it. Hope everyone is okay.

    1. LGC*

      Yeah, I know the feeling – like, I’m astounded that it hasn’t directly affected me yet. Like, I still have a job for the foreseeable future, my close family is mostly fine right now…it’s not as bad as it could be, and that’s making me feel worse about things.

      I also hear you on the open office! People (okay, myself included) have really bad boundaries, and the one thing I’ve enjoyed is that I don’t have to worry about being interrupted as much.

  147. Temperance*

    Any tips on setting boundaries with your time while WFH? I need to be “done” with work by a certain time to feel less stressed and keep my anxiety in check, and I’m starting to resent people who assume that I have tons of “free” time because I’m not homeschooling. I’m happy to cover meetings/webinars/calls during the day while my colleagues who are parents are with their kids, but I’m not okay being expected to work until 9 p.m.

      1. Temperance*

        That post is actually what made me think of it! It was mostly us airing our frustrations (on both sides), but I don’t know that there’s really a solution.

    2. BugSwallowersAnonymous*

      Do Not Disturb! I started logging off and putting my phone on DND around ~6pm every night, after my manager texted me a screenshot (with no other context) of an error on our website at midnight about a week ago.

    3. AvonLady Barksdale*

      I shut down every evening by 6pm unless I’m still on a client call (which has happened once in the last seven months). Completely shut down. I don’t answer emails. I might check them, but I only answer if it’s really pressing. No one has pushed back on me, but if they do, I would have no problem saying that it’s best for me if I draw clear lines between “work time” and “home time.” Before COVID, I was working from home and would sometimes complete some tasks in the evenings, but I completely cut that out when stay-at-home started. I think it’s because before this, I still had evenings when I left the house, so I didn’t feel too put upon by hanging around after hours.

      Granted, if a co-worker with kids and a crazy day asked me to help with something after hours, I would probably do it occasionally and only with notice. But nothing I do is THAT time-sensitive.

  148. Anon Today*

    I work for a nonprofit. Our organization is so, so screwed. We’re going to have to lay off so many people, including me.

    For a lot of reasons that were long in coming, we’re in a very vulnerable financial situation, more so than other similar organizations. We’re lucky to have our own endowment, which funds much of our work… but we’ve been overspending from the endowment and the sudden market crash in March means that if it drops much further it will trigger a bunch of legal consequences.

    So all our programs that depended on the endowment are suddenly without funding. (Plus, of course, most fee-for-service programs aren’t bringing in any income, and the philanthropic world is shifting most funding to COVID response, so there’s not going to be new money out there for, like, after school programming).

  149. The bad guy*

    I found a great new job with less responsibility and way higher pay that I would have taken in a heartbeat pre covid. The board has approved the position as an essential hire but it’s in the non profit sector and I worry how long they can sustain themselves in this crisis. My current job is very safe through the crisis. Can I realistically take this job despite the fact that it doubles, triples, or quadruples my chances of getting laid off?

    1. anonybear*

      This is not a logical answer, but I am a big believer in intuition. I believe those choices that light us up lead to big and good things. You should honor your dreams and the way something says *yes* inside you.

    2. Nacho*

      Can you check this company’s financial stability? As a non-profit, most of their financial information should be public. If it doesn’t have enough money to keep running for at least a year without income, I wouldn’t take it.

  150. blackcat*

    I was one of those “F*!$ this is hard” parents in the other thread.
    I will say there is one perk: I now take a daily hour long run with my kid in the running stroller. My area has so little traffic now I can run in the middle of the street to keep far from other pedestrians/runners. Previously, it was hard to build running into my routine, but now that my entire routine has been thrown to hell, I’ve found a way to make it work.

  151. Aspiring Chicken Lady*

    I realized last night that I really miss my carpool ride home every night. It was a chance to blow off all of my steam from the day, and was a clear distinction between work and home.

    Now I just send my last progress report in an email and shuffle off to the kitchen to figure out if there’s enough dishes done to start cooking.

    And we’ve been getting some last minute instructions and requests for us to do additional overtime (we’re completing Unemployment Insurance claims, so yeah, I feel guilty if I don’t do the OT) , so deciding when the day ends gets a little mushy.

  152. Fake Old Converse Shoes (not in the US)*

    I know it may come as insensitive, but since I became a 100% WFH employee, I’ve been spammed by recruiters from the US to Ukraine (?) who promise dream jobs paid in € and US$ that sound too good to be true. I don’t know wether they are real or bots, but I block them as soon as I get them.

  153. PNW*

    Today is one month since I started working from home. I have a separate room with a desk/chair for working but if I had known it was going to last this long, I would have invested in a good ergonomic chair. I also have a treadmill in this room so once in a while during meetings, I’ll mute the sound and hop on for a few minutes just to stretch my body a little. When this is over, I am headed down to the office supply store nearby to get a good chair.

  154. inkstainedpages*

    For those working from home, especially in non-profits:

    Are you expected to work 40 hours per week? I’m the exec director at a small nonprofit and I’ve been encouraging people to work between 30 and 40 hours and use the rest of the time for self-care, but my board is not thrilled that we’re paying people full wages to not work 40 full hours. My thought is that it’s tough to expect everyone to get as much work done as usual with less than optimal home offices, worry about family situations, and upended personal lives for all.

    What are others doing? Are you required to use PTO for hours not worked under 40? Under 35? The board wanted me to get some sense from other orgs on how they are handling this.

    1. The bad guy*

      There are parents in my org working 20 hours. Everyone is being flexible, realistically, if these are salaries employees, they’ve probably put in enough 45-50 hour weeks to more than make up for the few 25-35 hour weeks they’re putting in now. Your board is being unreasonable as boards always are.

      1. inkstainedpages*

        They are non-exempt, so while they do put in lots of weeks over 40, they get paid overtime for those hours. However, I still think now’s the time to be flexible.

  155. Niniel*

    Does anyone have any ideas for how to go about asking for more work from home time once all the stay-at-home orders are restricted? My boss was adamantly against working from home until this happened. But now that we are getting work done, I really want to ask for more work from home days when this is over. Not every day, but once or twice a week. I’m enjoying this far too much and I want to continue this lifestyle once it’s all over.

    1. Amanda*

      Honestly, I’d wait until it is over to ask. Managers have too much on their plate right now to really think about this, so if you ask now, you’re likely to get a no. Plus, if things really are going well with WFH, it might end up becoming a company-wide option, so you might not even need to press your manager (too much) about it.

      1. Niniel*

        Oh yeah, I wasn’t as clear as I thought. I meant asking after it’s all over. I’m not going to ask for it now.

  156. Anongineer*

    My employer has been ridiculous about the COVID messaging that keeps getting sent out daily.

    I got very sick right around St. Patrick’s Day weekend (right before all the quarantine and social isolation measures really kicked off), and had to go to the ER for my symptoms as at that time they were recommending everyone go in and get tested if you thought you had it. However, they didn’t test me as I hadn’t had direct contact with a positive case and wasn’t an emergency responder. I was a presumed positive, told to go home and isolate for minimum one week, preferably two.

    *insert side rant about Georgia just not testing anyone*

    I told my supervisor what the doctor’s said, and they were supportive and told me that if I ran out of sick time they would make it work. However, I got daily messages asking when I’d be able to go back to work and HR called to confirm what the doctors had said. I started working remotely about 4 days after the ER, even though we didn’t have anything super pressing and I was exhausted. The whole sickness part is a whole ordeal, and I was lucky enough to have pretty mild symptoms.

    The thing that really irritates me is that every day our CEO sends out an email stating that they’re proud to not have closed any offices, that people are working from home when they can (which is pretty much everyone but some who choose not to), and that they’re happy to report that no one has tested positive in the company. Georgia wasn’t testing anyone! They’ve slowly started testing more people, but it’s still not great. It seems weird and misleading(?) to me to focus on not having an employee test positive and emphasize refusing to close when we’re in a freaking pandemic.

    1. KR*

      My sympathies. It infuriates me that people are touting low number of confirmed cases as some sort of success – like do the people who are sick and aren’t eligible for testing just not matter because it’s not “confirmed”? People can’t get tests! That’s why the numbers are low! Ugh. Hope you’re feeling better now.

      1. Anongineer*

        I’m much better, thanks! The only future health concern I have is that I have asthma, and literally cannot wear a mask. It limits my ability to breathe to where I’d pass out, so I’m looking forward to the dirty looks and people “calling me out” for not wearing one outside.

        Yeah, hopefully more tests become available they’ll be able to test everyone who has symptoms and maybe even test to see if you previously had it. For now I just sit and roll my eyes at every email.

  157. Marshbilly, not Hillbilly*

    I am a Serious Introvert, and I’m doing ok working from home (snoring cats aside), but I really, really miss my coworkers, which is quite strange for me. When we eventually go back to the office, I’m afraid I’ll want to hug everyone, or burst into tears…. Is it just me?

    1. tacocat*

      Definitely not just you. I love WFH, amd seriously introverted, but this circumstance isn’t something any of us every dreamed up so I think it makes sense.

    2. Mediamaven*

      I think too many people think that being introverted means you don’t like people. Not true! Just means we just like to be alone too!

  158. Hola Amigo*

    I went on leave before the quarantine. I was using this to find a new job but now I don’t know i will find one before my leave is up. And to top it off, my employer is getting rid of health insurance and child care reimbursement in order to cut costs. Even when i go back i will have no choice but to find a lower paying job as I cannot live without these benefits.

  160. Stavia*

    Now that the immediate crisis has passed (I was working 12-15 hour days for a few weeks, because I’m a part of our commas team and leadership guidance on what we needed to tell employees was changing hourly for weeks) I’m doing pretty well. I’m still super busy, since we’re trying to take a bunch of programs that were in person virtual, but our tech setups are pretty good and I’m at least as productive at home as I am in the office.

    All of this has really thrown into sharp relief the fact that my job could be done 100% remotely just fine. To take this job, I moved from the west coast to Texas, leaving behind my family, community, and a fantastic apartment, despite the fact that my company has a perfectly good office in the city where I was living.. Now that we’re all remote, it’s just like…we obviously have the ability to work effectively remotely. Why am I in Texas? Right now, I’m feeling the isolation pretty hard— even when stuff starts to open again, I’m still somewhere where I have no friends or family, and where I hate the weather so going outside isn’t generally an option anyway.

    I have a few years before I can realistically return home, but I’m considering doing whatever I can to accelerate that timeline.

    1. DarthVelma*

      I am in the wrong job. How do I apply to be on the commas team? :-)

      Seriously, this is officially my favorite typo EVAH!

      1. Stavia*

        Thank you, autocorrect!

        (I think my boss would agree that along with being on a comms team, we’re also a commas team!)

        1. Llama Face!*

          The most disappointing part of this awesome typo conversation is that you aren’t based out of Oxford. ;)

  161. overit*

    I have no real question or comment but I just want to vent real quick that I’m surrounded by “reopeners” who literally don’t care if people die and I feel a bit crazy.

    Stay safe y’all.

    2. Pipe Organ Guy*

      I have a self-employed libertarian nephew-in-law like that. He’s going to a rally next Monday to encourage the state to re-open its economy. I’m speechless.

      1. overit*

        One person close to me said, and I quote, “people die all the time.” My jaw literally fell open. I mean, how do you even respond to that?

        2. Megumin*

          That those “people” might be them or their loved ones if they catch the virus? That probably wouldn’t work on them though, we have some friends like that, and their response is just “Oh we have strong immune systems, I’m not worried. ” /smh

  162. That's not how the Force works*

    I’m looking for some advice regarding joining a thesis lab in my biology graduate program. We go through a series of lab rotations before we decide where we will spend the next 5-6 years working on a thesis project. During the pandemic, our rotations are still occurring, but they are virtual/remote. It looks like this will likely be the case for the remainder of the term, at which time I’ll need to choose a lab. My dilemma is this: I *love* the research that my current rotation lab does, and I think it will be excellent training for my future career, but I don’t really have a good sense of the lab environment. I’ve talked to lab members virtually, but I still worry that joining a lab I haven’t physically worked in is a risky move. Does anyone (particularly if you’re in the same position or have gone through a grad program) have advice on how to navigate this? Thank you!

    1. blackcat*

      How do you like your potential advisor?

      My advisor did not do what I thought I wanted to do when I entered grad school, but I worked with him on the advice of several people who said he was a truly excellent advisor.

      They were 100% right. Having gone through my PhD and seen many other people do the same, I offer the perspective offered to me: Your advisor-advisee relationship will be as important in your life as a spouse relationship, at least for the duration of grad school and possibly afterwards. Chose your advisor accordingly.

      My advisor has 100% had my back, both in grad school and after (he did a lot to get me my post-doc, and supported me when I had a difficult pregnancy and medically complex baby in the middle of grad school. I am in physical sciences and being a woman having a baby in grad school is not typical, to say the least). When he faced a tough time (health stuff), I 100% had his, taking over a lot of his teaching and research management responsibilities.

      Talk to former students from this lab, find out what they say. FWIW, half of why I love conferences in my field is getting together with my advisor’s other former students. THEY ARE ALL AWESOME. Such thoughtful, helpful, caring folks! The fact that they are the people my advisor has mentored speaks well of him.

  163. cmcinnyc*

    Me and my family are in as good a situation as we could reasonably be, given that we live/work in NYC. Is it stressful? Yes. But really–we have jobs, and we have our health, and our high-schooler is handling it well and we’ve even got a box of masks that we found in the back of the closet.

    Pictures of whackos in Trump hats storming state houses and waving Confederate flags? THAT is really getting to me. There are over 10K dead in NY, which clearly these people don’t care about and/or celebrate. People are in dire health, dire financial situations, separated from family, and small but painful things like missing graduations and vacations are really dragging on everyone.

    Nothing I could say next will make it past a reasonable moderator, so I’ll leave it this: WTF?

    1. Gazebo Slayer*

      Oh, the You Know Who fans are absolutely crowing that this is mostly affecting blue states (and NYC most of all). They want us dead.

      And the people affected worst of all are black people. So of course T***p’s racist death cult is extra pleased with that.

      That orange slimebag is deliberately withholding medical supplies from states whose governors don’t praise him enough. I’ve started to see people online describe it as murder, and I can’t argue.

      If this nation re-elects him, we are well and truly damned.

    1. Jedi Squirrel*

      How are you holding up, Alison? I imagine you’re being inundated with a ton of bad news about this.

      1. Anonymous Elephant*

        Yes! I was wondering if you were doing okay. It must be so difficult hearing everyone’s bad news and difficult situations so much.

      2. Ask a Manager* Post author

        Thanks for asking! Yeah, for the first few weeks, I was spending every night trying to answer as many AAM emails as I could (quick private answers as opposed to full-fledged posts), which made me feel like I was sort of steeping in awfulness, but I eventually realized that was unsustainable and I have (slightly) better boundaries now. I’m still trying to figure out more ways to be helpful to people right now though.

        Other than that, I’m doing okay! Ad revenue is WAY down, as it appears to be for most/all sites, so that’s … alarming, but what can you do? We’re luckier than most and have a cozy house full of cats. And obsessing over my finger injury from the blender accident has been a good distraction from all the eating I would otherwise want to be doing.

        1. Patreon*

          FWIW, I know I’d be more than interested in an AAM Patreon subscription! If you post the juicy stuff and let the comments run wild I’d pay double : )

    2. Jamie*

      I know, but your pragmatic optimism is part of your charm. This time pragmatism is winning.

      This thread has lifted a huge weight off me just making me feel less alone. Thanks for this.

  165. Megumin*

    I am wfh with 2 small kids – 1.5 and 5 years. I’d be doing a lot better if they weren’t so ON me all the time. I love snuggling with my girls, and I’m used to them being all over me when I get home from work (normally they are in day care). But since I’m not getting that child-free time at work anymore, they’re just wiggling on me all day, every day. My husband is an essential worker so he’s been going into work – and he takes over when he gets home, so I do get some break, but geez. It’s just SO MUCH WIGGLING. I would have thought the novelty of me being home all the time would wear off, but it has not.

    The plus side is that my girls are obsessed with Miyazaki films, so we’ve been watching all the Miyazaki movies on repeat. And if I gotta watch something on repeat, this is my top pick – my background noise is filled with the beautiful music of Joe Hisaishi. :)

    1. inkstainedpages*

      I have a 2.5 year old and a just-turned-4 year old. Seriously, SO MUCH WIGGLING. Solidarity. :)

      1. Megumin*

        It’s just legs and arms EVERYWHERE! Currently the younger one is not moving, but only because she’s napping on my lap. :) She’s normally a champion napper at day care, but of course, it’s terrible here at home. The only way she’ll sleep is on top of me. Thankfully me talking on meetings doesn’t really disturb her.

    2. blackcat*

      I’ve seen a meme going around that is a shot from the Good Place, where Eleanor has a lizard on her head and Tahani breathing down her neck.
      The caption is about being on a work video call. The lizard is labeled the toddler and Tahani labeled a 6 year old.

      All this is to say… you are not alone, my friend.

  166. Pipe Organ Guy*

    I’m working from home now, at least as much as I can. I can connect remotely to my work computer and get all the paper stuff done, post the service bulletin online, etc. But I still have to go in on Sunday for the live-streamed service, and one or two other afternoons to practice. I miss the human contact, even though I’m an introvert. This Sunday we’re going to have the priest, the preacher, a reader, two singers, and myself. The sexton will be there, too, along with the volunteer who records the services. That’s a total of eight people in a building that can seat 400. We still disinfect like crazy.

    My husband is working from home as well; he’s about to set up at one end of the guest room so that we’re in well-separated areas of the house. That will help with his phone calls and with my practicing at home and a biweekly staff meeting. We’re both eating well, and the cats are good company. On the other hand, it’s painful to get news that events we were planning on this summer are being cancelled. And it doesn’t help, either, when I read about groups that defy social distancing orders and gather in large groups in close quarters. I think, “it serves you right if a bunch of you come down with this virus” even as they put those around them at risk.

  167. Re'lar Fela*

    I’m struggling a lot right now. I’m a single parent with a 3.5 year old and I’m still working full time from home. On top of my regular duties, I’ve absorbed quite a few pieces of the past communications manager’s job (thankfully this is temporary; we have someone new slated to start in May. Once that person is onboarded, I’ll be able to pull back from those duties).

    My workplace in general is extremely supportive, but I’m definitely dropping balls and I feel horrible about it. I need support, but I’m not sure what I need or how to ask. My direct supervisory is FANTASTIC, but has more direct reports than anyone in the agency and is trying to keep our emergency shelter running while also parenting her four school-aged children. So I don’t want to be a burden, especially since I don’t know what I’m looking for.

    Any ideas how to a) figure it out and b) ask? What I really need is to be able to work part time at full time wages, but unfortunately I can’t do that without burning all my PTO, which would then leave me hanging if one or both of us were to get sick or otherwise need time off later in the year (for instance, if she has the–relatively minor–hernia repair surgery that we’ve been discussing with her ped for a couple of years now).

    Also, any tips on staying organized at home would be great! I struggle with organization/memory/prioritization in general, but I have a system when I’m in the office that really helps. My “office” at home is a corner of the dining room table, though, and I don’t have all my files or any other way to keep track of things. What I do have is an ever-increasing pile of papers and notes, where important things go to die.

    Did I mention I’m struggling?

    1. A*

      Hang in there, you got this! Do you have reason to believe you aren’t meeting expectations, based on the ‘new normal’? If not, I’d recommend just taking a step back and limiting your work output to time sensitive deliverables only. It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t sound like your employer has proactively brought this up, but hopefully they – like many employers – recognize that productivity will not be 100% and many people are effectively WFH ‘part time’ if you are counting solely dedicated time. I for one am catching up on my calls/emails/tasks/projects in the morning, and am then just glancing at my inbox in case anything urgent comes through. Otherwise I’m doing my own thing aside from scheduled calls.

      My main point is just to be careful that you aren’t putting unnecessary pressure on yourself- these are unprecedented times and the previous rules do not apply!

      Also, do you have any coworkers you are close to that you could speak with about your workload? I’m single/childless and one of my coworkers is at home with two kids, once I caught wind of home inundated she was I voluntarily took on some of her projects to give her some breathing room. Might not be able to replicate, but thought it worth mentioning.

      You’re doing the best you can, and you deserve credit for that!

  168. Wendy*

    I’m worried that our office doesn’t seem to have any sort of plan if/when one of us comes down with this – or at least not one that they are sharing with us. There’s 3 of us that still have to come into the office and looking at the guidelines, if 1 of us goes down, the other 2 would probably be considered close contact and have to do the 14 day isolation just in case.

    We have a meeting with our district manager next week, but if we can’t get a satisfactory answer from him, we’re planning on going to HR. We’re almost positive that HR doesn’t even realise that he won’t allow us to work from home at the moment, even though other district managers have offered WFH to our equivalent positions in their offices.

    1. Wendy*

      Should also add, we’re worried that if we bring attention to ourselves by questioning decisions, that one or more of us may get laid off because of lack of work.

  169. CRS syndrome*

    Anyone else struggling with not just concentration, but also memory?
    For example, a couple weeks ago I raised a concern in a meeting on I believe a Thursday. In another meeting the following Monday, I remembered raising the concern, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was.
    Today a teammate asked me to resend a document, and I couldn’t remember ever generating that document. Turned out I hadn’t, but I spent minutes trying to find it because I just couldn’t be sure I hadn’t generated and then forgot doing so.

    1. Re'lar Fela*

      YES. Granted, I tend to have memory issues in general due to brain surgery last May, but I can typically manage them pretty well. I had several significant missteps yesterday and am feeling like a total dunce.

    2. PrincessFlyingHedgehog*

      YESSSSS. My memory is so bad right now! I sometimes forget long, detailed conversations I had the previous day. If I don’t take notes, I’m not going to remember it.

      1. Pennalynn Lott*

        Same. I’ve had to explain to people that the furious typing they hear in the background on our calls isn’t me doing something else, it’s me taking detailed notes. I’d be lost without them.

        Every morning, I have to start the day reviewing the notes I’ve taken over the past three weeks to make sure I’m not overlooking anything. I never had to do this Before.

        I have had bouts of clinical depression over the years and one of the most maddening symptoms was my utter inability to retain information while I was depressed. This is scarily similar. I’m also experiencing the lack of motivation to practice self-care, another hallmark of depression. Ayeee.

    3. A*

      Oh gosh yes, everything has just blended together. Doesn’t help that I didn’t have a chance to grab my paperwork or organization files etc. I’m essentially relying on a wall of post-it reminders right now!

  170. aepyornis*

    I just emailed my staff that clean pajamas are now officially formal enough for our zoom meetings. The uncertainty remains staggering but our butts will be cozy.

    1. A*

      Ha! Good for you for calling this out specifically! My company didn’t explicitly say anything, but when we had virtual town hall and the CEO was in PJs with an almost-naked toddler running around in the background, I figured it was ok. One of our members of senior management purchased ‘The Comfy’ for all of us, it is now our unofficial uniform!

  171. Sled dog mama*

    Essential worker who was able to work from home about 80%. I got to do that exactly 1 day.
    (I work for a company that provides a service to healthcare clinics so I’m not actually employed by the organization that deems me essential).
    My boss was pretty adamant that since I could do My job from home I should be doing it and only be in outside clinic hours for the things I have to do in person. The second day I was WFH the organization was hit by a malware attack. 3 weeks later we’re almost back to normal. It appears the last thing to be restored will be remote access so I’m stuck going in to the office while my boss is texting me every day to ask if they have restored it. Also I’ve worked 16 of the last 17 days (all have been 10-14 hour days) and I need a day off but my physicians are making unreasonable demands on how fast they want things done.
    I want my remote access back!!!! So I can get stuff done without the md’s being crazy

  172. Retail not Retail*

    I’m really struggling – we’re only getting 2 weeks of info at a time. Some people say we’ll open day of one of the stay at home order getting dropped and that’s just ridiculous.

    Anyway, our pay is the same whether we’re here or not and I took last week off. Came this week to 5 hour days and made it about 2 days before anxiety hit me HARD. I worked today as well and told my boss I can’t work Friday/Saturday or next Tues/Weds because 5 days is too much exposure.

    I just don’t know if I’m making a good decision!

  173. Retail not Retail*

    Also i’m the only one refusing to carpool around the park. People in trucks with closed windows. No!

  174. Anonymous Elephant*

    I’m suffering in many ways.

    I work for a high school that is closed for the virus, but this is traditional the busiest time of year for us. My office is responsible for graduation and senior events like grad nite, plus prom. This whole situation has been awful. I’ve spent a lot of time on the phone through calls, texts, and social media with my seniors, comforting and listening to them cry. Talking to juniors who were looking forward to being the first people in their families to go to college, but instead fear how they will pay for it now that they didn’t have a sports season or drama/choir/orchestra performance to stand out on or the SAT/ACT/AP tests to wow admissions boards and qualify for scholarship. I am working from home, expected to be available by phone or email from 8am-3pm. I have a lot to do, but unfortunately I also have an only child who is incredibly lonely and just wants to spend all day talking to me. This morning he woke up crying and it took a good 30 minutes to calm him down… meanwhile I was getting texts and emails from work asking for clarification on items, telling me this was urgent as they were on a zoom call.

    But the single most frustrating part of all of this is that my husband’s government agency (think of a utility or natural resource agency) refuses to let him work from home. He is still expected to be in the office every day. He is an accountant and has already completed all of the tasks he needs to do for the next month. The general public isn’t allowed in the building. He had a new direct report hired March 1 and she was immediately provided a laptop and VPN and allowed to WFH even though she had received ZERO training and was just reading handbooks. I fully understand why she should WFH – I just want ALL of the staff to have that option. My husband has pushed back as much as he can, but the director has put his foot down. We’ve even offered to provide a letter from my son’s doctor explaining that my son has asthma and is high-risk and should be protected, but my husband would have to go unpaid and he brings in 70% of our income. Director says that people will just take advantage and not get work done, and he doesn’t want to pay them to sit on their butts, so he wants everyone in office. Never mind that HE WORKS FROM HOME. It’s hypocritical and disgusting. My husband could easily go to the office for 2-3 hours a week to collect physical paperwork (mail) that arrives, then complete those tasks at home. And now our mayor requires that all essential employees within city limits are required to face masks when working. Director says that until an employee or direct family member tests positive, they will still come in to the office.

    So I am effectively home alone with a chatty kid who needs help with his work and won’t leave me alone to get my own done with coworkers who are really good at instant, urgent demands, all while my husband continues to be exposed for no reason.

    1. AvonLady Barksdale*

      The Director doesn’t want to pay people to sit on their butts so he makes them come into the office to… sit on their butts? That sounds BRILLIANT. I’m really sorry. And for you and your students! That’s rough.

  175. cmcinnyc*

    This. When I’ve had friends in crisis, them having to think about “what do I need? is that somewhere reasonable for you to go/affordable?” was too much bandwidth. It was easier for them if I tacked things on like “I’m going to Duane Reade to get shampoo and toothpaste and I can pick you up some basics. Tell me your brands.” For a friend in a doorman building, I simply dropped off a bag of groceries (nothing frozen or needing refrigeration) at the desk with her apartment number on it so the doorman could hand it to her on her way in.

    1. cmcinnyc*

      Nesting error! That’s supposed to be upthread responding to how to help friends who are front-line.

  176. mreasy*

    I have panic disorder and now I have at least one – It’s usually two – panic attacks a day, bad ones. It’s like clockwork. I’ve been forced to work a lot more slowly than I’m used to, to avoid making it worse. I have meds, luckily, but this whole thing has been madness for my mental health (and I’m not actually “triggered” by germs or the idea of getting sick, it’s just the overall feeling in the world I think).

    2. Anonymous Elephant*

      I feel for you! I have anxiety as well and my meds are keeping me from attacks, but honestly, it’s getting close. My son is 10 and he also has anxiety and has woken up in attacks a few times lately. It’s so hard.

      What are you able to do when your attacks start to surface? Is your work the sort where you can step away for 30 mins and make it up later?

  177. Anonymous at a University*

    I’m starting to resent my work colleague who constantly interrupts people asking questions or speaking in ZOOM meetings to say, “Oh, look, my baby is waving! Wave to the baby!” I understand it’s hard to be a full-time parent and working remotely full-time right now, but I want to actually get an answer to the question, not to have the meeting explode into five minutes of, “Hi! Hi! Wave! So cute,” and then we get onto maybe another half a sentence and my colleague interrupts to tell people to wave to the baby again. Today we ran out of time because the person I needed to ask a question had to end the ZOOM meeting to attend another one, so I’ll have to e-mail him about my question and hope he gets back to me. Last on my list of priorities is waving to the baby, colleague.

    1. Re'lar Fela*

      My office has instituted brief moments at the beginning or end of calls to allow “coworkers” (kids and/or pets) to say hi. I have an EXTREMELY chatty 3.5 year old who is super lonely, so I mute myself when I’m not speaking. That way she can chatter without bothering anyone but me.

    2. Animal worker*

      We had a recent meeting that started with ‘bring your pet to the Zoom meeting’, so there was a planned 5-10 minutes of everyone oohing and aahing over pets, screenshots of them were all taken, then we got on with the meeting. It’s not done every time but I thought planning it in advance made it work well. Maybe that could be done for kids too – one meeting every couple of weeks to show off kids (and/or pets) for a few minutes, but the others are more work-focused? We still may have pets/kids with us in meetings, but we don’t talk about it or comment to the people about how cute their kid/animal is.

      1. WellRed*

        Oh dear god, please no. I want our meetings to be shorter and less annoying. We have slack for chit chat or cute photos or whatever.

      2. Re'lar Fela*

        +1

        That’s essentially what my job has been doing and it’s been really useful. We had a specific (optional) Zoom call last week that was a “mid-day happy hour” for us to bring pets/kids/spouses to say hi or just check in ourselves–no work talk allowed. It was a really nice break!

  178. Lovecraft Beauty*

    I’ve posted about how working from the construction zone that is my apartment is driving me crazy, and I tried to look at apartment therapy small spaces tours, and similar, to find ideas for how to make this experience less awful. Results: – none of the shiny house tours feel relevant to my situation and I suspect that’s a little bit my brain feeling stuck and helpless rather than “I am wholly dependent on other people to fix my life” actually being true, but I do legitimately need the construction crew to come back and finish and take their STUFF and DIRT away, which can’t happen until quarantine is over
    – even if I could find solutions, they would all cost money, and I’m feeling very reluctant to do that on what my brain perceives as luxuries. Yes, even though my job is reasonably secure.

    On conclusion: brains are the worst and I want a new edition without all the bugs.

  179. Wendy Darling*

    I’ve been trying to get a raise and a promotion for the last six months and everyone kept telling me it was coming soon. Circa February I finally got sick of it and started looking for new jobs, and then… boom, quarantined.

    Now my company just announced that NO ONE is getting raises/promotions this year due to “economic uncertainty” (even though we’re in an industry that’s making MORE money due to COVID-19 and our entire workforce can work from home) so I’m definitely going to be working 2 levels above my title and grievously underpaid at least until next year, probably next summer because that’s when the normal raise/promotion cycle is. But also the prospect of me finding a different job is drastically reduced because most places have frozen hiring.

    And to add insult to injury my company is super tone-deaf about making itself look good so we keep getting emails about how the company is dedicated to supporting us in this difficult time but also we need to work harder than ever and make sure we’re putting our customers first “in everything we do” (so basically “we don’t give a crap about your health or stress level, just work hard to improve our stock price”). They also keep talking up their EAP, which consists of nothing but webinars with content you could find for free on youtube.

    I have reached “bitch eating crackers” status with my employer. Send help.

      1. Wendy Darling*

        Between the self-congratulatory emails from my employer and the constant stream of emails from every business I’ve ever given my email address for any reason ever, I am suffering from a REALLY bad case of COVID-19 Email Fatigue. I can’t figure out how to get this one airline to leave me the hell alone other than canceling my frequent flier account.

    3. LC*

      Are you me?! This is exactly how my company is acting. They are adding projects, decreasing the amount of time we have to do routine work, and being the opposite of flexible – because we need to better service our clients during this uncertain time.

      They sent out an email with WFH tips. I have a toddler, so I immediately scrolled to the WFH While Parenting section. All the advice was to reach out to HR if you needed help and to communicate with your manager. I have been communicating with my manager, but she is not being helpful (she gets extra rigid during a crisis). I reached out to HR asking about the FFCRA, saying that I’m hitting a breaking point and trying to figure out my options.

      They wrote back that I’m not eligible and to “stay healthy”. That’s it.

      They’re on my bitch eating crackers list for sure.

  180. Isolated Anon*

    I’m lucky to be able to work from home, but it feels like my supervisors, and by that token, my whole team ate adapting badly. I know she’s under a lot of stress, but my supervisor has developed a habit of proclaiming “You should know this already!” When going over things that we’ve either never addressed before, or occasionally when telling us to do things that directly contradict the instructions she gave us earlier. I hope this gets better soon: up until now, it’s been a fairly good job, but this is adding in a lot of stress, and my anxiety is going through the roof.

  181. Trixie, the Great and Pedantic*

    Being furloughed is no fun. We decamped to FIL’s house for space purposes (a furloughed Trixie stuck in one room for eight hours plus Mr. Trixie loudly working the phones in the other room was a recipe for disaster) and I miss… well, everything. Home. My comfortable armchair. Feeling useful. Not having to check the Twitter feed of the Cleveland Fox affiliate to double-check what day it is. Reading reports. I miss working! The work I do is dependent on our clients, and they either can’t or won’t get their remote situations sorted out, so until they get back to work, I have no work.

  182. Tobias Funke*

    I have never posted on an open thread before, but here we are.

    I am a therapist and I am struggling feeling like I am doing enough. I am struggling with other therapists on social media groups talking about how “welllllll aaaaaaaaaaaactually I am still doing deep work with my clients” (with the subtext of, if you’re not, you are failing) and generally just feeling like I don’t have anything to offer professionally. I serve a really high needs population and many of my clients were struggling prior to covid19. I do a lot of work around safety and basic needs when we AREN’T in a pandemic. I don’t feel comfortable pressuring my clients to meet an agenda that is not theirs, or mine, but the agenda of some random smug asshole on social media. Ordinarily I would want to reach out to other therapists but I don’t feel comfortable doing that.

    Any other mental health field people feeling me?

    1. I'm A Little Teapot*

      Not in your field – but it’s ok to take a break from social media if you need to. Therapists are human too. It might be their way of coping, doesn’t mean it’s reality.

    2. Filosofickle*

      My BF is in school to become a therapist, and his instructors have said the same — they can’t get clients to talk about anything else! Which doesn’t feel rewarding or even interesting for the therapist, but c’est la vie. From a lay perspective, I think you’re doing the right thing to let your clients set the topics. Steer when you can, but if this is what’s coming up for them then this is what’s coming up for them. Curious, why don’t you feel comfortable reaching out to other therapists?

      I’m having a hard time steering social/networking conversations anywhere else as well despite my best efforts. Right now this is dominating our lives.

  183. Mimmy*

    The longer this goes on, the harder it’s going to be when we do go back to our physical work sites. That’s the part I’m struggling with. Adjusting to the routine, adjusting to what’ll probably be different norms for interaction, and just plain being around everyone. All of it.

    We have been doing weekly conference calls in the last 2-3 weeks, so it’s been nice keeping in touch with everyone. My supervisor–who’s currently the Acting Director, has been doing a wonderful job. She tries to keep our calls to the scheduled one hour, she listens to our ideas, and just seems to genuinely care. In an otherwise dysfunctional job, she’s the one bright spot (in addition to my students of course).

  184. ladycrim*

    My office has never, EVER permitted WFH before this happened. Even when companies all around us were shutting down due to the virus, and even though our office has dozens of visitors every day, their proposed solution was to have the custodians clean surfaces more thoroughly and post “wash your hands” signs on every wall. It wasn’t until local government ordered the shelter-in-place that they relented and reluctantly gave us laptops to WFH with. (Along with a reminder that this wasn’t going to set precedent or anything.)

    So I’ve been doing the home office thing for a month now, and … I like it. I REALLY like it. I’m not stressed from my commute, I feel more productive, I don’t have the tension of an office environment, I can have lunch with my husband (who works from home normally), and my cats keep coming by to be petted. I miss my co-workers, but I see them in our daily ZOOM meetings.

    I want the pandemic to end and life to return to normal (or as near to normal is it will get) for everybody, but yeah, I’m going to miss working from home.

    1. sally*

      I really and truly don’t know if I can go back to the office every day after this. My quality of life is so much better without the commute. Even with kids in the house to distract me and annoy me, I still feel like I’m getting more done than I used to, and have more energy left in me at the end of the day.

      My employer was also slow/reluctant to make the change to WFH, so I expect they’ll want us back at the office the very moment the governor says it’s allowed. I’m strongly tempted to find a job with a remote employer – or at least a more flexible employer – before that happens, even though it’s a terrible time to job hunt.

  185. Anax*

    I got “I Can’t Believe It’s Not COVID” two months ago, and I’ve been sick ever since. Got tested four weeks in, chest xray six weeks in, and there’s no sign it was COVID-19… but I’ve had all the symptoms, so it’s hard to absolutely say for sure.

    It’s been… honestly, really hard, not knowing what’s wrong with my body, and being socially pressured to work full-time and overtime, when I can’t breathe or think straight. And I’m out of sick time anyway, because I’m also chronically ill – and since I’m testing negative for COVID-19, I don’t get any special allowances for that.

    I’m doing a little better this week. The latest round of antibiotics and inhaled corticosteroids has knocked back my shortness of breath, though I’m still running a low fever. But at least I haven’t been getting short of breath just sitting on the couch; I was having to lay down for a couple hours every day, crying and panting for air, and praying that it was COVID-19 because if so, at least if I had to go to the hospital, I wouldn’t get COVID on top of whatever this was.

    I’ve been totally stuck inside for two months now; this is the first week I’ve been able to manage even a ten-minute walk, but my asthma makes masks nearly impossible, and I’m higher-risk, so my options are limited.

    On top of that, I’ve been pinch-hitting for a teammate who was stuck out of the country – thankfully, home now – doing a set of complicated, time-sensitive reports that no one else understands, based on multiple sets of semi-outdated, handwritten notes. Plus everything else I was doing, which is also time-sensitive – I’m payroll-adjacent, so if we don’t get our jobs done, people don’t get the pay they’re depending on. I’ve been pulling as much overtime as I can manage, and guilty that I’m not as productive as usual because I’ve been sick and exhausted.

    Plus, I have PTSD which is specifically related to survivor’s guilt and medical crises, my cat’s been sick, my significant others are stressed as hell, I have elderly family across the country who aren’t taking this seriously…

    I’m kind of not okay here, guys. I’m trying to sleep appropriately and not snap at people, but I’m overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to cope.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I hope you feel better. There’s also the usual ills running around – strep, bronchitis, flu, pneumonia, so you could have/could have had any of those (or multiple things). I hope you feel better soon. Does your job have an EAP? Maybe ask them for help finding teletherapy?

      1. Anax*

        Thanks.

        I know, and I don’t mean to sound alarmist – it’s just that most of those don’t last for months in otherwise-healthy twenty-somethings, and many have calling cards – like high fever, coughing fits, etc. – which make them easier to recognize. I’ve seen my doctor over Zoom like six times, got all the testing I can during this pandemic, and she’s also stumped.

        (I’m not immunocompromised or likely to be exposed to illness – I’m just already sick with something, and taking an inhaled corticosteroid, so my doctor says to stay the heck inside.)

        Best guess is “something” for a week or so in late February – which could have been seasonal flu, COVID-19, or something symptomatically similar – and then a persistent, low-grade walking pneumonia, which hasn’t caused fluid in the lungs, high fever, signs on xray, or a cough, and also didn’t respond to the first round of antibiotics, but *has* made it debilitatingly hard to breathe. We’re well into “weird, confusing nonsense” territory here.

        Since I didn’t get tested until weeks after the primary symptoms subsided, there’s no real way to say for sure what started this, or whether it’s a continuation of the same illness or a secondary infection. Symptomatically, it’s very COVID-like, so that’s been an ongoing concern; it was circulating in my community at that time.

        I’ve been looking for teletherapy, but haven’t found someone I’m at all comfortable with that takes my insurance, and out-of-network prices would be hard to swing. EAP theoretically exists, but it’s not great.

        1. WellRed*

          You know this, but I’ll say it anyway, if it’s something viral, the antibiotics won’t help. I still cringe thinking about the viral bronchitis i had three Februarys ago. Hang in there.

          1. Anax*

            Yeah, I know it. Walking pneumonia is most likely to be mycoplasma pneumoniae, and my neutrophil levels are somewhat (but not hugely) elevated, so… we’re guessing and grasping at straws. Thanks; I’m hoping it goes away for good soon; it’s been… pretty gnarly.

            1. blackcat*

              I really hope you get better soon. My MIL had all of this and it turned out to be lung cancer :/

              1. Anax*

                Thankfully, I suspect the xray would have caught that too. It was definitely in the back of my mind.

                Thank you, I do too. It’s been scary.

  186. NeonDreams*

    As another person said, I’m as settled as I’m going to be. I’m almost to the end of week 5 of WFH. It has perks and drawbacks, just like anything. My family is as safe as we can be. I get to start with a new therapist next week via the Internet.

    My employer has handled the virus response quite well. I would make fun of them because I think some procedures and rules are dumb. But really, I don’t have much to complain about at the moment. Which makes me feel guilty because a lot of people are suffering out there.

  187. RM*

    Anyone have tips for how to be polite to people who are working from home when you are not?Since I work in the service industry I have different days off than my partner who is at home. I mainly try to respect her space while she’s working, but occasionally I’ve made her lunch or need to vacuum or clean since my days off are the time I have for that.

    1. fposte*

      Communicate! I think this is ripe for a conversation: “Hey, usually you’re not here so it’s not disruptive for me to do the cleaning/vacuuming/whatever. Can we figure out some guidelines or best times to minimize the impact of cleaning on your work?”

      1. Mama Bear*

        This. Maybe find a time to run the vacuum when she’s not on a work call or whatever. But, really, talk about the new normal and how you can both get done what you need to get done.

  188. Wolfey*

    Nothing helpful to add, just venting.

    I feel hopeless. I graduate with my masters in engineering in exactly two months. All interviews and encouraging noises from firms have stopped. I’ve already received a rejection citing the tanking economy and have been told by another that they are freezing all hires.

    I know that others are in the same boat, but what really hurts is that the ONLY reason I put my personal plans for a family and self-fulfillment on hold for five years is because I graduated into the 2008 recession and never found a job in my first field, which I actually had natural talent for. So I grit my teeth and went back to school for STEM skills, which has been an awful slog.

    I did EVERYTHING RIGHT! Through three family medical emergencies and my own mental breakdown, discovering my dyslexia and ADHD, and taking on tens of thousands of dollars of debt, I passed my classes and started job hunting months in advance…and it’s all for nothing. I feel like I’m exactly where I was 10 years ago, except that all my friends have careers, spouses, and children now while I only have three useless degrees.

    What is going to happen to me?

    1. Nynaeve*

      That’s so frustrating! I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Sometimes it’s not anything you did wrong – it’s just bad luck. I hope your luck turns around sooner rather than later.

    2. Just Anon'ing!*

      So sorry to hear that.
      If you are willing to consider it, please look at internship or junior roles at software companies. The one I work at is hiring as usual, and someone with a masters of engineering has a lot of transferrable skills. Plus, everything is remote now.

      You’ve done an amazing amount of work and are demonstrating great perseverance; I feel confident you will get through this, but so sorry that you aren’t catching even a slight break here.

  190. Celeste*

    I’m currently furloughed from my job, and my expectation is it will be some time before I can return to work, if at all. My boss has two kids that are at very high risk for coronavirus. Between trying to hold the fort and their situation their stress level is easily over 9,000. Part of me would like to check in on them or send a card. A very loud part of me says I should not do this until I know there is no chance of returning. Partly because of the boss/employee relationship, partly because I don’t want it to come across as having ulterior motives.

  191. Salacia I Actaea*

    April 3 was the start of my third month at a new job. I started WFH on March 17. I have three HUGE projects I’m working on and I’m absolutely lost. I went to school for what I’m doing (internal audit) and graduated with my Master’s in Accounting last May. But, starting in Jan 2019, I was working in IT Audit (a very different animal from accounting). This new job is accounting / business process audit. I’ve compared it to spending a couple of years in school learning Polish, but then moving to Japan for 13 months (where no one speaks Polish, so you become proficient at Japanese), then up and moving to Poland (where no one speaks Japanese). I’m like, “These terms seem familiar. Pretty sure I had a class on this a couple of years ago.” Which reallllllly isn’t great when I’m auditing people who know their business processes inside-out.

    So everything is 5x harder for me and I can’t just walk 20 feet to my manager’s office to ask for guidance. I swear, this is like when I first went back to school after almost three decades of working and needed to learn calculus. My brain hurts and I feel like I’m failing. Which I can’t express to my boss, because he has a lot to deal with already. So I just pull out my old textbooks and muddle through as best I can.

    Also, I’m experiencing pretty much what everyone else is describing: inability to concentrate, poor sleep, decrease in productivity, etc.

    I *did* tell my boss on Wednesday that I’d be OK with all of us going back into the office if we were required to wear masks 100% of the time, and to eat our lunches in our cars. (Obviously, it’s not up to me).

    1. I'm A Little Teapot*

      I’m also in internal audit. And this is going to sound a little wacky, but I’ve got 10+ years more experience than you, so you’re going to have to trust me. Audit is audit is audit. Understanding the process and risks doesn’t change. The processes will change. The risks will change. The terms will change. But the audit itself – those principles do not change.

      As for your current struggles – are you the lead on the projects? If not, you need to talk to your lead. If they’re halfway competent, they’re going to understand that you’re inexperienced and are trying to switch from IT audit to finance/operational (which is the terms I use), and that takes time. They should be willing to talk things through with you. If you’re the lead, you need to talk to your manager. Yes, they’re busy. But they would much prefer to take some time helping you upfront than deal with a failed audit on the backend. Believe me on that.

      Realistically, you have very little experience right now. A year and 4ish months audit experience is not much, and it should be known and expected that you will need training and guidance. The fact that you’re struggling is not unexpected. If you weren’t struggling I’d be very suspicious.

      1. DKMA*

        Not in audit, but I’ll just reinforce the “talk to your manager” point. If you are new to his team and have not been raising issues he is probably getting concerned that he’s not hearing from you. I always worry much more about the new employees that don’t raise questions or concerns than I do the ones who bring things up. Every once in a while the quiet ones will be rockstars who don’t need help but usually it’s the opposite.

        1. Pennalynn Lott*

          I worked under this manager during the summer of 2018 when I interned at his previous company. We stayed in close contact the entire time between then and when he hired me at the current company. So at least I’m not a total unknown factor to him.

          We have a weekly touch base; I IM him regularly when I have a specific question; and if I’m truly stumped about something that is kind of fuzzy, I’ll ask if I can call him so we can talk it through. But I can tell he’s pulled in a ton of other directions. And sometimes I don’t really even know what to ask. And I’m worried about telling him that I have my textbooks open in a semicircle around me because I don’t want him to regret hiring me in as a senior.

          I was IM-ing with one of our other managers yesterday (she came from the same previous company, so I’ve known her since May of 2018, too). I gave her the same Poland/Japan example and she told me to reach out to her if I need help. So I may run some of the more. . . vague (?) and/or accounting fundamentals questions by her before bothering my boss. I don’t think she has quite as much on her plate right now (her projects won’t ramp up for another month).

      2. Pennalynn Lott*

        I am the lead.

        Thankfully, my most immediate projects are walkthroughs. I’ll sound like an idiot, but at least I’ll be learning about the business. I’ll be recording the meetings (WebEx) so I can take detailed notes afterward and let my manager watch if he wants to.

        And I’ve definitely let the auditees know that (a) this is my 3rd month with the company, and (b) I’ve come from IT audit and an IT-adjacent career. I’ll have one staff and one intern (both with more experience at the company itself and in fin/acctg than me).

        I think the main thing I have going for me is that I was in B2B sales for 25 years, and I co-own my own small company, so at least the overarching concepts aren’t brand new to me, as they would be for a 20-something graduate. And I’m comfortable leading meetings (and admitting the limits of my knowledge).

        I’ll reach out to my manager tomorrow since my first walkthrough is next Tuesday.

        Thank you, Little Teapot!

  192. Unproductive One*

    I’m mostly doing okay, largely because I’m burying my head in the sand and hyperfixating on video games even when I’m supposed to be working. I *have* work to do — time-sensitive work that other people are relying on — and I’m not doing it. Most days I’m at least able to reply to emails and messages. Some days, though, my depression/anxiety/stress/screaming in my head make it impossible to even do that much.

    How much can/should I tell my bosses about the fact that my mental health is causing me to be unproductive and/or that it’s why I’m missing deadlines?

    1. I'm A Little Teapot*

      Are you on medication or getting therapy via phone or something? You need help with your mental health.

  193. Dragon_dreamer*

    I just got a call saying I’ll be furloughed starting May 8th, the end of exams. :( They hope to bring me back at the end of August, when classes start. I do thankfully have seniority.

    … I also have about a third of their slide collection. :P

    Should I file for unemployment that day, or the day after?

  194. Gazebo Slayer*

    My boss is constantly micromanaging me (even though I am an independent contractor who just got a $5000 tax bill, at $16 an hour) and freaking out about productivity. He wants us to be *more* productive than we were before the pandemic. Which stresses me out immensely since I (a) have a crappy home internet connection that neither Comcast nor I seem to be able to fully fix and (b) I am working extra, non-billable hours for moving the physical goods my jobs involves.

  195. Matilda Jefferies*

    Oh! Here’s something nice. Last week (two weeks ago? ten years ago? who even knows any more?) I asked for recommendations for a decent WFH office chair. I ended up getting a “Langfjall” from IKEA, and it’s great. Nice and comfortable for my tall plus-sized body, and also small enough to fit into my tiny new desk setup.

    Thanks to everyone who had suggestions for me earlier!

  196. Robin*

    I am working at home. My husband has a job at a hospital, so my son still has day care.
    I’m a lonely extrovert.

    I want a cat. My husband does not want a cat. I WANT A CAT.
    I want something that will snuggle me other than my overtired husband and my toddler.
    I’m also just DONE. My job is taking care of people, all I do all day is take care of people.
    I want someone to take care of me.

    1. Nacho*

      Sounds like you want a dog, not a cat. A cute little lap dog that will sit with you and let you rub her stomach and lay in bed with you whenever you want.

      1. Mama Bear*

        Depends on the kind of cat. IMO good opportunity to talk to a rescue about the kind of cat with the right personality for the job. What I might do is find a cat I liked and show the actual cat photo to my spouse. What are his objections? Are they valid? Does he understand your need for a non-judgmental animal companion?

    2. Animal worker*

      Maybe you can compromise with your husband and foster a cat during the crisis. That way it’s not a forever commitment. Maybe you just get it for now when you really need it and it doesn’t work out long term for you both once the foster’s over, maybe he decides it’s not so bad and you can agree to get one permanently later.

      1. Mediamaven*

        That’s a wonderful idea. A lot of people think they don’t like cats because they’ve never had one. This would be a great chance to get your husband acquainted without a lifetime commitment!

        1. Wendy Darling*

          I thought I wanted a cat until I had to petsit my parents’ cats for 2 weeks and realized that I hate cleaning the litter box and dealing with canned cat food more than I like cats. Also my cat allergy is like 10x worse than my dog allergy so I go completely bonkers if there’s any cat hair on my bedding because it makes my whole face itch. :( (Sidebar: as an adult I’ve discovered that MOST of the things I irrationally dislike — cat hair near my face, dusting, walking on grass, etc — are things I am allergic to.)

          So now I just occasionally visit the local cat cafe, and admire friends’ cats. Right now we’re social distancing so I just get to admire the neighbor’s cat who likes to sit on their windowsill and survey his domain.

          1. Mediamaven*

            And I thought I didn’t want a cat until my neighbors cat who was abused moved into my house. I fell madly, deeply in love and now have three (the other two also just moved in).

            1. Wendy Darling*

              I love cats! Other people’s cats. Other people’s cats are great. (This is also my position on babies.)

              Maybe someday when automated litter boxes aren’t so finicky and crap I’ll have a cat. They are pretty cool.

    3. WellRed*

      So there was a similar letter this week in prudence or Carolyn about fostering a dog. Please talk with hubs about all the reasons for or against but don’t bring in an animal that isn’t fully wanted. Also, you may get a non snuggling aloof cat.

      1. Wendy Darling*

        My parents adopted this kitten who was super snuggly and sweet, and then she hit cat puberty and turned into a wild animal and no one could lay a hand on her for TWO YEARS. Fortunately she is an indoor-only cat, because we couldn’t even catch her to take her to the vet for vaccines for a few years there.

        If I ever get a cat I am getting an adult cat. The cat they got at 2-3 years old was a cuddler when they got him and has not changed a bit. He will jump up on the lap of a complete stranger and squeak at them until they pet him if they sit in his favorite chair.

  197. Gumby*

    I’m in the Bay Area so it has been an entire month since we’ve been under a shelter-in-place order. I work in an essential but not public-facing business; we’re still open and have the option of working from the office if needed though we are highly encouraged to WFH as much as possible. I am slower and less productive from home, but was getting by. This week my to do list exploded though so I have been in the office (with appropriate social distancing, etc.) for 3 days which is more than the total days I have been on site in the previous 3 weeks. Honestly, I kind of like being here. I’m going to go back to working from home tomorrow since I think I can clear up the bulk of the to do list today (as long as people stop adding to it!) but having had a few days in a row in the office makes me realize I missed it more than I thought I did. Apparently introversion can only take you so far.

    Otherwise, I’m feeling vaguely guilty that I am still employed and not experiencing any hardship worth mentioning, don’t have child-care responsibilities, and yet am still feeling miffed that the expected increase in free time somehow seems to have not occurred. (Yes, I do see how ‘still have a job’ and ‘no free time to do household stuff / read pile of books’ are connected – feelings are not logical.)

  198. Always Late to the Party*

    I am thriving, although I realize I am ridiculously lucky, and my heart aches for those going through uncertainty, illness and fear.

    In the weeks before everything was shut down I was in a very bad place mentally. I was totally burnt out, and barreling full speed toward a mental breakdown. There were a lot of factors, but what was grinding on me the most was the bad energy of a toxic relationship with the coworker I was sharing office space with. Being free of that, in addition to getting more rest and relaxation has done wonders for my mental health. At the beginning of WFH I spent a lot of energy being anxious about returning to that environment, but now that “the forseeable future” is several months instead of weeks, I’ve stopped putting energy into that worry and am putting the energy into doing the job well, instead.

    Coworker and I are both relatively new to the job and have very different roles and thus very different relationships with our boss. My role requires more interactions with Boss than hers does and I could tell she was resentful of my relationship with him. I realize now that she was (intentionally or not) gaslighting me as she would make comments about Boss’s expectations that were not true to my experience. She would also tell me every suggestion/comment I had was wrong, even the most trivial. A few days before we were all told to work remotely, I called her on this behavior and she said “well, I guess I’ll try not to do that” as if I was just being too sensitive. I was seriously doubting myself and my capability to do the job well.

    Since being free of her influence (our communications are much more sporadic, and primarily email) I’ve been able to learn for myself what my boss’s expectations are and it is obvious he is very happy with my work, and very understanding that I am still learning and will take time to perfect the job. On a few occasions there have been small things he is unhappy with, and he has been direct/stern, but not unkind about correcting those things. SO basically I can now learn to do the job without worrying constantly if he’ll tell me if I do something wrong. It’s also easier for us to interact the way we need to because we are both just sitting at our computers all day, and I don’t need to worry about her feelings about our constant interactions when workload is peaking (although my husband has had to remind me to set boundaries so I don’t burn out again).

    I also have time to do yoga twice a week and take an afternoon walk almost every day. I’ve been trying to shift to an intuitive eating mentality and feel like I am building a better relationship with food. Before the pandemic, I felt like I had lost touch with a lot of my friends and was feeling lonely. Since everyone is in their house bored, I’ve been able to reconnect with some close friends and have a virtual stitch and b*tch every week with friends from all over the country.

    There are times where I’m overwhelmed by anxiety, uncertainty and fear. I wrote this post more for myself to remind me how lucky I am to still be working, to be healthy and to be given this opportunity to “start over” basically at a time where I really needed it.

  199. Aspiring Policy Wonk*

    Hi Ask A Manager Community! I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me during this time. I’m about 3 years out of college, and I was gearing up to go to grad school in the fall. I was also applying and interviewing for jobs in case I wasn’t accepted. Of course, as is the case for many people, jobs offers and interviews fell through because of this pandemic. And the cherry on top of it all is that I’ve been waitlisted for grad school.

    I recognize that I’m lucky that I still have a job that lets me work from home, and I know I’ll probably have to stick with this job for a while longer. But I’m feeling stuck (and social distancing is partially to blame for this feeling), and I have no idea on how I should move forward.

    Does anyone have any advice on what I should do during this time to strengthen my resume and my application should I need to re-apply for grad school in the next cycle?

    1. Filosofickle*

      FWIW colleges are anticipating an unusually high number of non-acceptances this fall. Your odds are better than usual for being upgraded from the waitlist.

  200. Homer Simpson*

    I’m a military recruiter working from home, and far and away the biggest problem I’ve had is handling my supervisor’s expectations while I’m also handling a toddler with no daycare. Our supervisors have given us a ridiculous set of metrics to meet (500 phone calls in a 9- hour workday, so one call per minute basically) and I’m so far behind the mark it’s embarrassing. I missed a conference call this morning because my son decided that the balloon he’s been playing with for the last 2 days was terrifying, but he wouldn’t let it go. Forty minutes spent handling that meltdown, and then another twenty trying to get him to eat anything for lunch.
    Anyone have some good verbiage for telling your boss “Hey, I’m not getting shit done because a toddler is the only thing more unreasonable than you.” But, like, in a nice, respectful way so I don’t get court martialled?

    1. Always Late to the Party*

      Passive aggressively email them the question Alison answered this week, where a manager was frustrated with their top performer whose work had dipped because she was caring for a toddler?

    2. Old and Don’t Care*

      I can’t imagine making 500 phone calls day after day after day. Also, it’s an odd metric that looks worse with success (assuming productive phone calls that might result in a recruit probably take more than a minute).

  201. Hero*

    Hi! I’m a college student. How should I be in touch with places I have applied to / interviewed with for this summer?Should I be in touch with them? Many things in my industry are shutting down their internship programs, and I don’t want to sound out-of-touch, but I am still looking for work. Also, how do I apply / reach out to places I haven’t yet reached out to?

  202. Amethystmoon*

    Doing okay. I never thought I would miss having normal meetings, but we finally had a big group meeting today (we recognize people once a month for going above and beyond, and also do birthdays then). It felt actually normal even though we had it online and you could hear people’s dogs barking. But we got to see the dogs, so that too was good.

    I’ve had to go in a couple days a week to print and deliver physical files. They are kind of in the 80’s where I work, but I like having a cubicle as opposed to the open office plan. I’m sure since we’re in an essential industry that as soon as our governor says we can go back, we will have to and they will again be less generous with the working from home option.

  203. Llama Face!*

    I’m in an essential service industry but my employers have pulled out all stops so most employees can work remotely with just a handful in the office. This is great for safety but it is sure providing a clear demonstration of how terrible people in my workplace are at written and electronic communication. I am being slowly driven mad by the repeated dropped conversations with bosses and colleagues: We use instant messaging for most of our communication and I’ll be in the middle of asking work questions when suddenly the person on the other end just isn’t responding anymore. No brb or indication they left, just radio silence. It is preventing me from doing my work properly. Email isn’t any better since most of my colleagues don’t check it frequently and phone calls are intrusive and may not catch people who are often away from their desks. I’m already trying to minimize the frequency of my communication since I don’t want to overwhelm them or be seen as high maintenance, but I am rapidly approaching my wits’ end here. The most frustrating part is that I could be helpful and mostly self-directed and lessen my colleagues’ workloads if they would JUST GIVE ME THE INFO I NEED TO DO MY JOB, DAMMIT. AARGH /endrant

    1. Mama Bear*

      Try modeling the behavior you want to see? “Sue, I’m going to step away for a minute. I’ll be right back.” Or “Jack, can we table this until after lunch? I’m free at 1PM.” Or be specific, “Jack, I lost you earlier this morning when we were going over the teapot reports. If you need to step away during a discussion, can you let me know so I can pivot to another task?” Or specify how it is preventing you from working. “Sue, when you stopped responding about the reports, I couldn’t provide my manager timely feedback as requested. Would you prefer email or a phone call instead?”

      IMO if you aren’t getting what you need to do your job, you should follow up by another means.

      1. Llama Face!*

        I’ve tried! I always put messages on my IM if I’m stepping away with the time I’ll be back. And I try to close communication clearly so they know I’m done. I’ve asked my colleagues for preferred communication format and followed up with phone calls if I couldn’t get through otherwise (but only get someone at their desk to answer it half the time). And the boss is one of the people I’m struggling to get answers from.

        In writing my original post above and also chatting with a friend earlier I think the underlying thing that is making all this so stressful- and also why I can’t just throw up my hands and slack off half the day because I need someone else’s delayed input to continue- is that I’m feeling dread that my employer will see the lack of productivity and decide to start cutting our hours. They haven’t said anything like that is going to happen but have done/tried to do crappy things in the past that saved them money with a really bad impact on low level workers. So I don’t feel especially trusting towards them.

  204. Giving heart*

    Does filing for unemployment take money away from others? Should someone with plenty of savings and a giving heart consider not filing? Or might they as well file and then donate the money they receive?

    1. WellRed*

      It doesn’t take away from others but if you feel better giving back in some way, by all means do so.

    2. ...*

      Unemployment is insurance that you have paid into for years with your hard earned money. I would file. Its your money that you’ve paid the premiums for your whole working life. If you want to donate that is wonderful but I see no reason not to file.

    3. DKMA*

      You are not taking money from others. Some parts of the CARES act (like the payroll protection loans) had fixed funding pools, but the unemployment increases didn’t have these constraints.

      Nothing wrong with donating it if you want to. You will also be broadly helping by spending the money, especially at smaller, local businesses.

  205. SwirlyMuppet*

    I heard about a program launch this week . . . Pragli. Has anyone here used it, yet? It sounds like it’s set up in a way to help with some of the lack of socialization of remote working. I’d try it, but our team is small and already pretty well connected at the moment.

  206. BeadsNotBees*

    I am…. not great. I work in management for a locally-owned “chain” of childcare facilities, and we are still open and providing services to other essential workers (I am currently on site managing one of our individual locations for the duration). My husband works in a large warehouse store.

    We are exhausted. And scared. My husband is scared he’s going to get sick just because of the sheer number of people he interacts with daily. I’m more scared I will get ill and and accidentally pass it along to a child in my facility. I feel a lot of personal responsibility to mitigate my risks in any way I can, but I’ve found myself becoming bitter at those around me… I try to walk my dogs around the neighborhood just to give myself a break and end up having to change my route because there are groups of teens and families roaming the streets and not giving anyone space. My neighbor has sleepovers and BBQs with her girlfriends in her front yard. My friends and family who are at home text all day and share jokes about being in sweatpants and day drinking. We can’t get to a store when things are actually in stock and have to plan ahead and then gamble with pick-up or delivery orders 1-2 weeks in advance.

    I feel like I’m living in a different reality than a lot of people and it’s hard to remain positive/NOT resentful.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I’d be frustrated with that, too. I’d tell frequent text offenders that I’m still working/afraid and would like to not be included in their day drinking texts. You are living a different reality, and shame on your neighbor for treating it like a vacation. My neighborhood also has suspiciously large groups walking around and it makes me irritable.

      1. BeadsNotBees*

        I have to remind myself that I don’t know anyone’s full circumstances and it is NOT my job to police their social distancing… but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have to try really hard not to yell at a group of teen boys playing TACKLE football at the school behind our house.

        And you’re right, I should explicitly express that I’m having a hard time and to limit texts to certain topics. I at least wised up and muted the notifications so they aren’t bothering me when I’m actively working. It’s just difficult because I do want to remain engaged with my friends and family, we’re just kind of on different “wavelengths” right now.

    2. N*

      Yes, your reality is real and a lot of people aren’t acknowledging it!! It’s soul-crushing to watch people be inconsiderate.

    3. Ranon*

      Your work is probably helping keep the grandparents of some of those kiddos alive, so THANK YOU for the work you are doing. And I hope your neighbors get better at social distancing soon!

  207. Ciela*

    still working from work, but at reduced hours. Husband and I used to work 42-44 hours / week, and for the past month it’s been more like 22 hours / week.

    Georgia’s labor dept. website says that employers MUST file for workers who have been temporarily laid off or had hours reduced due to COVID-19, but so far nothing from the bosses about “everyone log on to this website each Friday to get your unemployment direct deposit”. I’m not sure if I want to push it? I know that the bosses are trying very hard not to incur additional expenses right now, and that hit to the unemployment insurance would not be welcome. But only one person has been fired in the past 20+ years, and I don’t think he would have qualified to collect. He decided to go to the beach with his girlfriend one week instead of working, and didn’t tell anyone ahead of time. This was after doing mediocre at best work for 6+ months.

    All of us have had our hours cut by at least 10 hours / week. Some people have had their hours cut by 30 / week. Personally, we’d be okay, even if this continued for a year, but I’d prefer not to have to cash out the IRA. An extra couple hundred / month from unemployment would be really nice. Just ugh, not sure what to do.

    1. WellRed*

      Unless Georgia has some really unusual system, you should be filing yourself each week on the state unemployment website. If indeed your company is expected to do so, by not doing so they are behaving badly and putting you at huge financial risk. You’ve paid into unemployment. Use it!

      1. WellRed*

        Also. Stop thinking of employees salary or unemployment as an additional expense. It’s a cost of doing business.

      2. Ciela*

        Not sure what GA normally does, but right now it is on the employers to file on behalf of workers who are affected by COVID-19 job loss / reduced hours.

        Also, I haven’t paid anything into unemployment. At least here, the unemployment insurance is paid by the employer, and it is illegal for them to pass that cost along to the employees.

    2. pancakes*

      Please take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with how unemployment insurance works. Your employer is legally obligated to pay into the state unemployment insurance fund based on the number of employees it has. Whether it wants to “incur additional expenses” is irrelevant. If you run a search for state of georgia unemployment insurance you will see numerous sources that explain how this works.

      1. Ciela*

        I just did read the updated info from the Georgia department of labor. Even only working reduced hours, I’m still over the weekly earnings limit for claiming benefits. Most likely all coworkers are also still making too much to claim any benefits.

        Also, due to COVID 19, employers will not have an increase in their unemployment taxes.

  208. Grand Mouse*

    I messed up. My company has a contract with a critical government building. I contacted one of the people after hours and said I have a cough but am otherwise fine, what would you like me to do? If I am not coughing tomorrow and have no fever I am fine to come in right? And he made it sound like. yes.

    Now my building has taken it as a coronavirus report, and has suspended my company’s service of that building. I got contacted by 3 people from my company, very mad I did that. I thought that was the proper procedure, as we are supposed to report any COVID symptoms every day before starting our shift. But it has the client panicked. I have been ordered to get tested, and have done so. Also getting a note from my doctor that I have asthma and it was likely that.

    Readers, I am terrified I will be fired for this. I was supposed to just contact my boss and say I wasn’t feeling well. Now it is a huge serious thing. I made a big mistake, but otoh one we have no precedent for. And I hope that even if I’m not fired for this, they don’t cancel the contract with my company, leaving me jobless anyway

    I had a panic attack and cried at work on Tuesday. At least privately. Then now I am not allowed to come into work. My stress level is so high that I can’t even focus on minor stuff like Animal Crossing, or even be happy about the stimulus check.

    1. Mediamaven*

      Ugg just sending you some strength. I made a terrible mistake this week to with a client on a video call. I know that terrible feeling of dread. I hope it blows over. It probably will. Mine did. It was a mistake. Please try to distract yourself from agonizing over it.

    2. Retail not Retail*

      No, you made the right call. I don’t have any authority experience, but I’d say your manager is wrong. Frustrated, but wrong. If you told them, they wouldn’t have reported it or noted it – and if it was?

      I know too many people are downplaying coughs or other symptoms right now out of fear of losing their jobs or a check. Hell, a month ago I had a shrink appointment where they asked us the covid questions and kicked us out if we said yes to anything. I didn’t have a fever and I also left out that when dust flies in my face I cough. Doctor’s an hour away and takes forever to get an appointment!

      1. WellRed*

        I disagree. She should have contacted her manager, not the client. That’s what managers are for. I’m sorry this happened. You tried to do the right thing. I think it’s unlikely they will fire you. As you say, it’s all very strange and new.

    3. Mama Bear*

      You’ve done the mitigation that you can. If there’s no written protocol in place, then the “after action report” (or just lesson learned) is that they need a plan for this with step by step instructions. Maybe part of a continuity of operations plan or similar. It is not enough to say “report symptoms” if they don’t say how and to who and if you need to otherwise stay home, etc. If they had you get a COVID test but you’re still going to an office, then that’s another mixed message. They are failing to clearly communicate.

      It sounds a bit like they’re more mad that the client is worried than they are about your health. I hope you get results soon and can move on.

    4. Anon for this one*

      > I was supposed to just contact my boss and say I wasn’t feeling well.

      So why did you contact the client (?) instead of following that?

      1. Princess Zelda*

        It reads to me that Grand Mouse was just told to “report symptoms” and not “report symptoms to your boss.”

        1. Grand Mouse*

          For further clarification, before each shift we report any symptoms to the client, as before we can start we now have to have an officer come out, ask us the questions, then sign in.

  209. Niska*

    I forwarded my work mail from our office on the 2nd. So far, I’ve gotten 3 pieces of mail. I know there’s more – where is the rest? Are people donating? I don’t know. I really regret not just continuing to go twice a week to pick things up from the mailbox.

    1. I'm A Little Teapot*

      forwarding can take a long time. you may end up getting things all at once, a month late.

  210. J.B.*

    So apparently I was logged onto zoom on the ipad my six year old was using. She thought it was hysterical to join my meeting. (I did laugh hysterically but will not let her know this fact.)

  211. Blazer*

    Advice for parents working from home and homeschooling? I’m really struggling with focus, productivity, and subsequently, motivation while working from home. I’m also a solo parent of a second grader and middle schooler who’ve moved to elearning for the remainder of the school year. We are in week 2 and I CANNOT get anything meaningful accomplished. I’ve basically given up at this point and aim to answer emails and complete minor daily responsibilities. This is not sustainable though so please, anyone, help! I can’t say for sure that it’s solely the kids causing my distraction. I’m starting to think it’s just me being at home. I never have this issue in the office and since I’m senior to most in my department, I’m really feeling like a slacker. Advice please!

    1. Mama Bear*

      I took a couple of days to be home and IMO it’s not just you. WFH under these circumstances is not like WFH normally. Maybe try breaking up your schedules. Have productive work time for everyone (homework for them, work-work for you). Take breaks in between. Teach them how and when to interrupt you. Teach them not to bother you on a work call. When my kid was little she had to learn these things. Things won’t be normal, but just try to get through what needs to be done. Triage as you need to. Maybe use a white board as a Kanban board so there’s a visual. Remember that they are able hands, too. My kid is doing things like sorting laundry and dishes in between her online classes.

    2. DKMA*

      Massive life triage:
      Priority 1 – Do enough work to not get fired / permanently ruin your reputation. Lock yourself in a room and compartmentalize guilt for as long as you need each day to do this.
      Priority 2 – Take care of your kids. The most important thing here is probably not remote learning school. You know your family, what matters most to your kids that you can prioritize keeping up.
      Priority 3 – Middle schooler schooling. Good news, he’s old enough to take responsibility for this himself. Give him 30 minutes in the morning to help him get ready and regular schooling amount of time at night to help with homework.
      Priority 4 – 2nd grader schooling. Can he read? Yes, have him read a lot. No, make that your only educational priority for him. Don’t worry about the rest.

      This is not for forever, you’ve got this.

      1. Blazer*

        I love this advice. Thank you. I’m normally intrinsically motivated, fairly organized and disciplined but this has been so taxing on my brain… I needed someone just to tell me what to do. Truly, thank you.

  212. nen*

    I am not holding up well. I came back from maternity leave into this and also have a first grader. My company is very male-dominated and most folks at my level and above don’t have kids at home or have stay at home wives. Most of my work is external client-based contracts but i’m also on the hook for TSP reports and managing my team of 15. Our clients are giving us zero flexibility with deadlines. I’m in the midst of trying to modify some of our government contracts so that we can exclude our typical travel/in person meetings (which all of our contracts currently require) so that I don’t have to lay people off in a few months. We have work now but without any new meetings, there won’t be much to do this summer. Instead of flexibility with the TSP reports, we are now required to do more because these are ‘unprecedented times’ and the company is expecting hits to the bottom line (don’t worry, they already suspended our 401k match and we’ll still be laid off if we don’t have billable work). PLUS there is an adjacent department manager who is a good buddy of my boss who would jump in like a vulture if it seems like I can’t manage all of this. He has already cannibalized my senior staff and he would absorb the rest along with my contracts to ‘help out.’ I’m… not dealing well. I already had a plan to get out of this company and maybe the whole industry in a few years. I feel guilty because I have so much privilege and I’m lucky to have a job. But I also feel resentful. I have a babysitter coming every day so I’m mostly failing at social distancing. My husband’s job is essential so he gets to leave the house every day but I’m the bread winner by a very large margin. And there is a fruit fly. In my bedroom. Where I’m trying to work.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I’m sorry you’re dealing with a vulture and an unrelenting client. I hope that you can get some flex on the meetings – many federal agencies use video calls and conference bridges for routine matters. Frankly I’d start looking. Other contractors may still be open and in better situations. Can your husband pick up any slack at home, even if it’s just a PTO day here and there?

  213. Sarah*

    My manager is terrible. He cycles through people to favor and people to hate, and right now I’m “unfavored” (6 months ago I was being promoted, hard to keep up!)

    He has scheduled exactly one check in with me in the month we’ve been wfh, and has ignored several emails from me. Which, like okay, whatever. But apparently he’s also been trash taking me to my coworkers as ‘not doing enough’ and ‘not keeping him informed.’ Ugghhhh toxic workplaces just keep on being toxic.

  214. Pennalynn Lott*

    Aaaaaand. . . pay cuts were just announced. 6% for everyone below Director level (like me).

    I am grateful to still be employed.

    Next step, adjusting my budget.

    Actually, my immediate next step is making a stiff drink. THEN I’ll bust out the spreadsheet.

    1. Ash*

      I hope the Directors and above are taking *higher* pay cuts?! They should not be forcing the lower paid staff to shoulder the pay cuts alone.

  215. BenAdminGeek*

    I’m a remote worker anyway, but this shift to have family home has really been stressful. I don’t usually like leaving the house much, but I think it’s the stress of knowing I really shouldn’t leave that has me in a constant state of low-level anxiety. It’s making it harder to work- I feel like I should be working constantly, but also having trouble staying focused and motivated during work hours.

  216. Can't Sit Still*

    One of my neighbors teaches dance via FaceTime/Zoom/Skype every Wednesday – Sunday from 3 pm – 10 pm. She does this outside, facing the apartment pool, so the sound reverberates throughout the complex. We had dual pane windows installed this past winter, so I can close my windows to shut out the noise. But lately it’s been so nice outside, and since I am under a strict shelter in place order by my doctor, open windows are the only way to get fresh air. It was warm enough last night that I finally gave up and closed all the windows and turned on the AC, because the combination of incessant noise and heat was driving me up a wall.

    Mondays & Tuesdays, she hosts evening karaoke parties, also next to the pool. Those last until whenever. I…am beginning to hate her. About once a week, a neighbor (different one each time, it seems) gets in a screaming fight with her, telling her to shut TF up already. She’s the only one making regular, outdoor noise out of about 80 apartments and the arguments are escalating.

    At least her classes start just before my workday ends, so I can have the windows and doors open with relative quiet during the day.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I’m assuming the karaoke parties are also virtual?

      Can you talk to her, as suggested in another letter re: the musicians who need to play at night? If you can’t or that doesn’t go well, I’d call building management to see if they can negotiate a compromise. To take over the common area all week and all night is a bit much.

    2. raincoaster*

      I’m surprised it hasn’t occurred to anyone to crash her Zoom parties with a tuba or a sweary outburst.

  217. Kay*

    When we started working from home, I thought I would be super productive. I teach and do research. I was sure that starting March 16, my research productivity would be off the charts and I would be submitting papers for publications.

    None of that has happened. I am sad at times, anxious, tired, lazy, and I’m mad at myself every night that I wasn’t productive that day.

  218. TooMuchWorkInOH*

    My boss is in absolute panic mode. She wants to hold twice-weekly virtual events with guest speakers, agendas, video recordings, the whole shebang. I get multiple emails per day about how this or that is now the number 1 priority or that the deadline is today, tomorrow, or asap. When I emailed her this morning for clarification on my priorities, she wrote back that I was a bottle-neck and slowing everyone down. She said that I should assign all my work to my employees (we are a small team of 3). And that she shouldn’t have to tell me what my priorities are, I should just know because I’m at a director level. I’m working from home with 3 kids, one who is spec. ed. and she said that she understood that I can’t always be 9-5, so she would “understand if you need to work at night after the kids go to bed.” I am absolutely losing my mind over here. How can she expect me to be tripling my workload, crapping on my direct reports, and not be able to ask her about direction and priorities!

  219. 901TN*

    My company tends to micromanage us…..A LOT. Working from home has now forced my employer to be more crafty in learning how we are spending our day. No more doing rounds around the floor or execs acting like they are putting paper in the shredder while snooping on your monitor. Now it’s detailing your day with daily phone calls, telling your manager when you have started working, downloading Skype on your prehistoric computer so your manager can see if you’re “Away”, and last but not least, expecting random video calls throughout this period of quarantine to make sure we aren’t in the Walmart parking lot (true words spoken by my manager). I can’t help but compare my WFH experience to my husband’s. This also arose some questions between us about whether micromanaging actually hurts productivity.

  220. Case of the Mondays*

    I’m struggling with having different work expectations and work styles from my husband and thus feeling constantly stressed. He finishes work hours before me. When I’m in the office that’s fine. When I’m home it makes me feel terrible and guilty. I’ll stop work to do certain things together while it is still daylight but then I still have to finish my work after dinner and then I feel like all I do is work. He literally rolls out of bed and starts working at 7 am while I get up, eat breakfast, shower, etc. and don’t really log on until 8:30 or 9:00. So in addition to having to work more hours than him I start later than him so I have to work even longer than him. He is basically 7-3 or 4 while I am 8:30 or 9:00 to 6:30 or 7:00.

  221. Becky*

    I am able, and currently working from home full time. There have been no salary cuts at my company, and even the yearly salary increases that went into effect on April 1 are unaffected. My industry and company are pretty much doing fine at the moment, and expect to continue to do fine. I don’t have kids that I have to figure out how to take care of in this situation. I don’t have a spouse. I have a roommate who is currently working from home full time as well.

    And yet… I am still struggling. And I feel guilty for struggling! I know my productivity is down, though I am still getting what needs to be done accomplished in a reasonable time.
    I spend 18-20 hours a day in my bedroom (because that is the only place I can work from right now) and I’m getting stressed, anxious and distracted so easily from work tasks. I try to take breaks and exercise regularly, but this is still all taking a toll on me.

    I haven’t been really able to talk about this with anybody because I do know that I am better off than many right now and don’t want to burden them, or seem out of touch with how bad others have it.

    1. DKMA*

      I have no advice for you other than to say you are not alone. I don’t know anyone who isn’t struggling on some level. I know I’m in the same boat, but instead of breaks and exercise I’m working in an extra beer or glass of wine every night and sleeping poorly.

      So, good job working in breaks and exercise! It’s OK to be freaked out while the world goes crazy even though you know if could be personally worse.

    2. DKMA*

      Sorry for a double post, but I realized I do have advice.
      1) You really should find someone you can talk to! Your problems are real and you deserve to talk them out with someone.
      2) Does your company have an EAP? Might be a good option to find a therapist if upon reflection you don’t have someone in your personal life you feel comfortable talking to about this (or even if you do).

  223. Anon for this one*

    In the UK – husband’s company has “furloughed” some people (about 20% of the company) and we have a scheme here where the government will pay 80% of salary for a fixed period if there isn’t any work currently but they intend to hold the job open for the future. Obviously the employee can’t work during this period.

    They are furloughing people on a rotating basis if this situation continues. And are topping up to 100% of normal salary for the people not working.

    Husband has said he would log on anyway and respond to emails, work on support tickets etc. Because the work still needs to get done. The deadlines don’t sleep.

    I explained that’s illegal (?) and jeopardising not only his own pay but potentially the government pay for others in the company as well. He is insistent on working for the company even if on furlough in contrast to all those other letters where *employers* are asking people to work whilst claiming a government subsidy!

    1. DKMA*

      In the US I’m pretty sure this would still be a very bad thing. Our company turns off people’s email when they are on leave to avoid enabling fraud like this.

  224. Nobody In Here*

    I’ve been ill for years and had a small part-time job, for a small online company, to help keep me off of state-based assistance. Last week our supervisor let us know that the company is floundering due to changes in internet usage affecting income. I joked with my friends that if I quit they could save my tiny salary, and they commented that if that’s what’s needed to keep the company going it’s in big trouble. Well, now they ‘eliminated’ my job. I’m pretty sure my monthly paycheck was about the size of the payments for the CEO’s spiffy new car. The weird part is that they’re all trying to keep in touch like we were best buddies and I still want to pal around. There was no talk of rehiring me if things got better again.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I’m sorry that you got laid off. I hope you can find somewhere else if you need to regain employment. Will they be references for you?

      1. Nobody In Here*

        Thank you. They probably would but I’m not sure I could find another job like that again. I’m on disability so I can keep a roof over my head.

    2. DKMA*

      I hope you’ve filed for unemployment. The CARES act will have the federal government pay you $600/week above whatever you would normally qualify for. Having your part time role eliminated means you should have no problem qualifying (aside from the extreme paperwork / getting through hassles occuring right now).

      1. Nobody In Here*

        Thanks for the thought. Due to the way I was employed and the hours I worked, I do not qualify for unemployment. I’ve confirmed it.

  225. A_Jessica*

    I’m working from home for the first time & I’ve learned the CTO of our very small business (under 30) is keeping very close tabs on our idle time & active time.
    Is this normal?
    We don’t have a policy on paper re: time idle v. time active. Is it common for people to get in trouble for idle time or am I overthinking this?

    1. Case of the Mondays*

      Can you download a mouse mover? I use mouse jiggle on my home computer because I couldn’t stop the screen from going black while I was on calls.

    2. Mama Bear*

      I would find that to be annoying micromanagement. If you are offline too long and not responsive, that’s a problem but if there’s no policy on idle time and they can’t tell if (for example) you are on a call with a colleague, then that’s just poor use of data.

  226. drivesmenuts*

    How are companies handling vacation time/PTO during this pandemic? No one at my company is taking any vacation time right now because everything that people had planned was cancelled. Also, lots of people are afraid to use up vacation time that may be needed for if/when they or a family member gets sick. We have sick time available but it is not much, thus any other PTO will be used first before going unpaid (We are excluded from the new US Federal sick leave laws due to being in healthcare, so any COVID related time out of work requires using company-granted PTO). I am also hesitant to plan for future vacations because I know that the stress of the current situation will catch up to me eventually and I will need numerous “mental health days” in order to cope.

    My company is asking for people to reserve vacation time for the rest of the year now so the company doesn’t get stuck with a glut of people requesting time off as soon as the country opens back up for traveling. I feel this is tone-deaf and annoying.

    1. Mama Bear*

      I took off some time around Easter for sanity, not that we went anywhere. All our summer plans as a family are on hold. I understand they want to plan ahead but there are so many unknowns. States are still extending stay at home orders. Any PTO request you put in now will be wishful thinking at best. I think a lot of people are going to wait and the company needs to prepare for that.

    2. Nacho*

      We were super busy for a while with people canceling vacations, so we stopped accepting PTO requests. Now though we’ve got the opposite problem, with almost no work to do, so the company’s more than happy to grant as much PTO as I want. Which is good because I’m this close to burning out from the stress of this virus and really need a 3 day weekend or two.

      1. Wendy Darling*

        I was looking at my PTO balance and realized that if I don’t burn some time I’ll max out my PTO accrual in a few months, so I basically need to use it or lose it. I’m now taking off every second Friday until further notice. All I’m gonna do is play video games or do jigsaw puzzles but it’ll be nice to have a break.

  227. Treebeardette*

    I work for a good factory. They’ve mandated that everyone wears masks. The masks are from China. Hardly anyone can stand wearing them. They are hard to breathe through. The hygiene is terrible because people keep touching masks to adjust them which can lead to any viruses spreading more. I wish they will do away with them because no one knows how to wear a mask properly.

    Anyone know how to deal with the claustrophobia from wearing masks?

    2. Mama Bear*

      Is it a poor quality mask or just that no one is used to wearing them? I would be appreciative of the mask, but see if you and your collogues can get some guidance. “Boss, everyone is touching the masks all day. I think there’s a trick to wearing them that we are missing. Is there any information on use from the manufacturer that we could distribute to help folks get used to them/wear them properly?”

    3. DKMA*

      So in a factory setting the masks are going to be more helpful in preventing spread from asymptomatic folks rather than preventing people wearing the masks from getting sick.

      Since they are so hard to breathe through it sounds like these might be medical grade (my wife tells me N95 masks are brutal to breathe through from when she used to work in a hospital) which would do more to protect you if used right.

      People adjusting their masks are likely doing more to increase their own personal risk than they are to undercut the droplet stopping benefit of wearing the mask. And you could improve it with rigorous glove / hand washing protocols. So education will help, but if you are personally diligent you probably don’t need to worry much more than you already were.

      1. Wendy Darling*

        I’ve worn N95-like respirator masks with replaceable cartridges for spraying nasty topcoats and sanding stuff you shouldn’t breathe before and they are BRUTAL to breathe through. I could only work for like 30 minutes at a time wearing the thing because it was just exhausting to drag air through the damn cartridges. I have so much empathy for anyone wearing those masks.

      2. Treebeardette*

        They are surgical masks from what I was told. Definitely not N95, but still exhausting to breathe through.

        We already have stringent have washing procedures and social distancing. I think they could do without the mask wearing.

    4. Mediamaven*

      I’m having the same problem just wearing it to the grocery store so I’m been having a lot of sympathy for people who are having to wear them all the time. Can you put something on the bridge of your nose to raise it forward a little?

  228. AJ*

    I took Alison’s advice on following up on a phone interview, acknowledging that COVID was probably messing with their process, and it worked! I got a follow up email from the recruiter today saying that a new position had opened up and do we want to do a video interview. Yippee!

  229. Liz J.*

    Has anyone ever had to give their two weeks notice over the phone? I’ve been interviewing for other positions since the pandemic started and it’s looking like this might be the case since our offices have yet to open up. I’ve always been able to give this news in person in previous roles, but never over the phone. Any advice on how to not make this awkward would be great!

    1. DKMA*

      I don’t think you need to fret much in this scenario. It’s not like you’re just failing to put in the effort to tell them in person, it’s a pandemic.

      More practically, do you have a regularly scheduled meeting with you boss already? If so, at the beginning of the meeting just tell them that there is something you need to discuss before you begin and dive into it. If not, you have to use your judgement of what will come off as awkward based on your relationship. Schedule a 1:1 meeting if you can do that. Be blunt and send an email saying there is something you need to discuss urgently if you need to.

  231. Elizabeth West*

    I don’t really have anything to add, since I’m not working right now. Everyone be as safe as possible and remember, this will not last forever.

  232. 653-CXK*

    News and views…

    1) I thought I would not like working from home the second time around – the first time was at my ExJob, it was only two days per week – but it’s working out fantastically. I’ve caught up on a lot of work I couldn’t do, thanks to the lack of interruptions (phone calls, desk visits) and motivation (doing my own work before others).

    I have a daily routine: I start at 8, so I set up my table and my laptop, turn it on, do my work, have lunch around noon, go back to work, stop at 4:30, break everything down, and that’s it. Unlike ExJob, where I had to carry around a laptop all the time and had a monitor, I can disconnect from the job pretty easily. Once this is all over, I plan on working just once per week from home – maybe on Wednesdays, where I have a certain report that takes a good part of three days to work and requires a lot of attention, and spending a full day on it without interruption would be optimal.

    2) Yesterday, I got an email from the receptionist who handles the mail, and it said “YOU HAVE A LOT OF MAIL.” My internal thought was, “Gee, you’re right, perhaps I should come down, put my health at risk on public transportation, then yours as well, just because you can’t separate the mail and send it out yourself?” I simply deleted the email message. I’m well aware I have lots of mail that needs to be sent out, but it’s not worth me coming in to do it. You want to talk about it? Talk to my boss.

    3) There are two things I do miss – eating out after work and going to downtown Boston on the weekends. Those two things helped me decompress after a long day (or week) and recharged my batteries. We’re in at the “peak” of our disease phase in our state, so hopefully by early May we will have some of the restrictions loosened so I can enjoy a little bit of the old times.

    4) I think the best reason why I’m handling this a lot better than others is the ten months I had between being let go from ExJob and being hired at CurrentJob prepared me. That time wasn’t easy: sure, I was debt free, I was able to collect unemployment to pay bills, I was able to get out of the house for interviews, but there were stretches where I thought this would last forever, and thankfully, it didn’t – it just took longer than I expected. I can’t say for everyone “this too shall pass” and other cliches, but there are silver linings in this crisis…they’ll come up when you least expect them.

  233. Kichka*

    This has shown me I hate working from home and being stuck in the house. Zoom is not an acceptable alternative; real life doesn’t come with a mute button. It doesn’t help that I was never afraid of the virus itself and wasn’t sold on the idea of shutting down the economy in the first place. But, my family and social circle all agree with the majority opinion and so push the “you’re not stuck at home you’re safe at home” view. Except I’m truly not afraid of this virus so that doesn’t even work for me. The only way my business will survive is if things start opening up again. My dominant feeling is very intense anger that everything was shut down, which starts fights with my family who disagree. Overall, I feel very cut off and really can’t find a positive thing to come out of this.

    1. DKMA*

      So three things:
      1) Please consider therapy, the anger you describe isn’t healthy, talking to a professional may help
      2) Your fear about you business sounds extremely stressful, I’m sorry.
      3) Your attitude about the virus is ill-informed and self-centered. Your personal risk preference isn’t really relevant. It’s a public health effort to slow spread of a disease and prevent health systems from getting overwhelmed and prevent needless loss of life.

      1. Reiner*

        I second DKMA. I’m glad you don’t fear the virus, but these stay-at-home measures aren’t really for I afraid people like you. They are for people like my ailing senior heart-patient father, who would likely not survive a brush with COVID-19. I appreciate you listening to your friends and family and staying home despite the impact on your business and on your mental state. My dad appreciates it too – thank you.

    2. pancakes*

      What bearing does your personal fear or lack of have on mortality rates, in your view? I don’t see how it’s at all relevant. If dozens, hundreds, or thousands of people in your area die much sooner than anyone anticipated, your business will be affected regardless of how you feel about their mortality or your own. If dozens, hundreds, or thousands of people in your area are observing social distancing guidelines and you aren’t, your business is going to be affected by that too, again regardless of how you feel about it or them. Of course you’re feeling cut off – you seem to have constructed a world view in which your feelings are all that matters, and there’s an enormous disconnect between that view and reality.

  234. MadamePince*

    Like many people have stated, I feel pretty guilty whenever I feel any anxiety or moodiness. I’ve got a house, a paycheck for the foreseeable future, work to keep me busy, food, and knock wood, my health. I’m with my kind spouse and generally easy-going second-grader, and our dining room table is now an office for three. I’ve been starting each day by trying to get up before everyone else with some alone time, and then with a 45-minute walk. This does really help. The home schooling has been the hardest part, and the amount of guilt I feel over my child’s video game and YouTube time is immense. I have noticed that I definitely feel better on the weekends, maybe because there is no expectation of work/school? I am also secretly judging my husband’s schedule and work (or lack of) – he seems to have less to keep himself busy than I do, but is taking multiple walks a day and it seems to take him a long time to get started every day. And I have to pretty much be the daily organizer/schedule monster, which some days drives me absolutely crazy. If summer camp is canceled I will seriously lose it or grant myself at least one day of day-drinking.

    But I have a pretty short fuse some days. I am a mid-level manager, and some of my staff are working quite a bit, and others not so much. Truth be told, there is not that much that they can do – some of their work is very place-oriented. It has been a huge amount of stress to figure out tasks for some of them, and I hate to pile on busy work. I’m fortunate that my employer (so far) is pretty lax/lenient on this and not demanding any sort of amazing productivity or anything exceptional, although I am afraid that may change.

    This whole situation has actually dredged up a lot of feelings and angst about my chosen profession, and I feel pretty pessimistic. I find some of the attempts of my colleagues to seem relevant and useful to be kind of desperate pathetic. I hope that will change, but only time will tell.

    1. pancakes*

      If your husband has less work to do what’s the problem with him taking longer to get started than you do?

  235. lilsheba*

    Because my company is so backward and would rather pay me to NOT work and be on leave until April 30, I’m having a great time. I putter around the house, take care of projects that have been waiting, Do online witch school, have time with my partners, and watch tv and stuff online. It’s great. If my ass backwards company would rather pay me to do nothing than *gasp* allow us peons to work from home that’s fine by me. I just hope I can do it longer! Btw this is a call center job and the technology and security are totally available for this. But whatever.

  236. Reiner*

    I work in healthcare, which is an essential industry. However, my job role is “back-office” and can be done effectively remotely. I’m not clinical. Our organization has remote work capabilities and has allowed some teams to do so at the discretion of their department head. My department head (DH) has allowed some team members to work daily remotely, while requiring the rest of us to come in. The permission isn’t based on who can do their job remotely, as 95% of us can do so. It also doesn’t seem to be connected to undisclosed medical conditions or family situations – it seems to be solely based on who put up the biggest fuss or threatened to quit. I don’t want to resort to that, because I like my job and I like feeling like I’m helping during this difficult time. I just don’t know why DH insists we continue to physically come in at all, except that old-school mentality that “you’re only doing work if I can see you doing it.” When I asked to work remotely for the safety of myself and my family, my position was subtly threatened and my request was denied.

    So we all come in to an active hospital every day, knowing that we are putting ourselves and our families at risk, with no protective gear because we are back-office, and no explanation as to why. I’ve spoken to friends on the medical staff, and they seem flabbergasted that we are still coming in. Their perception is, why put more people at risk than necessary? I wish our leadership saw it the same way.

    I’m working insane hours keeping up because it is an essential industry and it’s chaos right now. I’m grateful to have a job, but I’m also more stressed than I’ve ever been, and feeling so demoralized by the lack of trust from leadership and the preferential treatment others are receiving. I don’t know what my question is, I guess I just needed to say something before I have a breakdown. I hope you all are staying safe and sane.

    1. DKMA*

      Your department head is an ass and an idiot. I’m sure your hospital has some sort of organizing body set up for COVID policy, I’d try an end around. Could be a taskforce, could be an HR team, etc. A few paths:

      1) Straightforward: Contact them and straight forwardly say that you are still being asked to come in and it seems like a bad decision and confirm that it’s still the right guidance.
      2) Faux-naive: Reach out with to clarify and understand guidelines. Make sure you mention that you have the capability to work from home, but are still coming in to the hospital and want to make sure you are doing the right thing.
      3) Annoyingly nervous: Ask lots of detailed questions about how you can protect yourself. Make annoying requests regularly for PPE. Tell them you feel unsafe and a risk to other personnel and patients from incedental contact.

      I’d go with #3, it strikes the right balance of making a fuss + can’t really be blamed + still willing to work hard despite existential fear.

  237. Cimorene*

    I posted something similar last week (sorry for any redundancy) but added my questions im facing. I am a senior exec at a very supportive org of less than 200 people and have a job i can and am doing from home. However, I have a toddler whose daycare closed, my spouse is considered essential and still goes to work every day. So i am managing a two year old by myself while trying to participate in key decision-making meetings and support the 3 departments i oversee. I don’t know how much longer i can do this and unclear how much longer it will be until the daycare opens up again. Should i take FFCRA leave under the provision related to inability to work due to childcare? I’m already not managing a full time schedule (although trying my best to come close) and no one at my work has complained so im not sure it would make much difference. Its more that i can’t handle the stress, worry about constantly parking my kid in front of tv to get through meetings, and am exhausted taking care of the wee one all day and then still try and do work after hours. And what do i do if its several more weeks/months until childcare opens up? schools have already decided to not reopen. start looking for a nanny? totally at a loss as to how much longer can manage the current status and what options are available…

    1. DKMA*

      So the first thing to realize that trying to do this “well” is impossible. I think there are three connected issues you need to think through, and it’s going to come down to your own self-assessment of priorities and capacity.

      1) Parenting trade-offs
      2) Work performance
      3) Personal burn-out

      Only you can answer how comfortable you are with the 1 and 3. Is this something you are ok with and can power through or not? On work, I wonder if you don’t have more choices than you think. You have considered the two extremes of taking leave and keeping working (pretty much) full time while you manage this, but you may have other choices.

      You describe a small, supporting organization. There might be a range of work options they would be open to, have you had that conversation? If the choice is to have an executive take leave versus temporarily delegate some responsibility but retaining some engagement they might prefer that. You also might be fine just cutting back a bit, most companies are very sympathetic to your current situation.

  238. Anonnington*

    It has flipped everything on its head, but not entirely in a bad way.

    I can’t do the main things I normally do anymore.

    However! I needed a break. Arts & Entertainment is super fast paced. Just switching to doing things differently is very refreshing for me.

    I’m really enjoying the time to reflect and to take on new projects (more writing).

    I might start a new business. I’m getting really into gardening. I have extra seedlings. I’m going to try selling them. I’ll see how it goes.

    PS – I’m in a really hard-hit area. I’m struggling with the fact that a lot of people aren’t taking the disease seriously, either because their area isn’t impacted by it or because it hasn’t touched their life yet. I’ve been hospitalized before (including with pneumonia). I’ve lost close friends to serious illnesses. I’m just sick of the sheltered and selfish, “It’s not part of my reality so far, so I’ll make light of it / spread misinformation,” and all of that. Tangential to work, but I need to say something.

  239. LondonBridges*

    I’m a student worker, and thankfully the college is still paying everyone for their normal schedules. My big concern now is that I got a summer internship I was really hoping for! But it’s in a large museum currently shut down, and if it doesn’t reopen by then I won’t be able to do it. It’s frustrating getting a call saying “Hey you got the job! Maybe.”

  240. nnn*

    My comment here today is whiny. If you don’t want to read a whiny comment, skip it.

    I have a personality that’s well-suited to sitting at home doing quiet at-home activities. I was seriously considering taking some vacation time to stay home and do nothing!

    However, my workload is way up. I’m not essential services but my clients are, and I’m constantly (metaphorically) running around and putting out (virtual) fires.

    Meanwhile, my social media is full of people who are off work enjoying the quiet at-home activities that I yearn to be doing. I feel like everyone is having fun without me!

    I know, I should be grateful that I have steady income that I can safely earn from home, but I’ve never in my life had such FOMO!

    1. Senior Montoya*

      OMG YESSS!
      Chirpy happy people reading gigantic piles of books! Working 5000 piece puzzles! Making 100s of masks!

      “So, Senor Montoya, what have you been up to?”
      “I’m WORKING. I take breaks to do laundry. At the end of the day I’m done in, and just want to collapse on the couch til bedtime.”

  241. Senior Montoya*

    My WFH petty bitchy rant for today: I have a co-irker who I’ve been at BEC w for months. And now she’s the one who will not mute her g-d microphone in zoom meetings. Shut UP already.

    Fortunately I can sometimes mute the whole meeting and see her mouth moving while I watch in blissful blissful silence. Can’t do that at the office.

  242. Princess Zelda*

    I hope this is closely enough related to work to go here! It’s unemployment stress.

    I usually work two jobs to make my ends meet. A month and a bit ago, Job2 put me on a zero-hour schedule, then laid me off and encouraged me to apply for unemployment, so I did. At the same time, Job1 announced that we would be considered “on call” and they would continue to pay us paraprofessional hourlies at our normal rate and normal schedules. I am making just a little over the unemployment cap for my state, and it’s exactly enough to pay my rent. I had hoped that the way the CARES act would be implemented would be, essentially, lifting the cap by $600, so that people who are now partially unemployed could collect cap + 600 – paycheck. Instead, it’s being implemented so that it’s cap – paycheck: if ≥$1, give additional $600; if <$1, give nothing. I'm getting nothing, and trying to live on less than half of what I usually make while also helping my family, who are worse off than I am.

    Honestly, I'm scared. I have a little bit in savings and the stimulus check will help, but I only have until June with the way things are going. I don't want to go back to working in a grocery store; I did that for years and I hated every minute, and if I contract the virus from extended contact with the public I will not be able to afford medical care. I had just gotten my life back on track, and I am so terrified of losing everything I've been working for over the last five years. I did everything right — I got a college degree, I got a government job, I worked and worked and worked, I did all those One Neat Trick!s, and I saved what I could — and now it looks like it's all falling apart again.

    1. Clementine*

      I haven’t anything useful to say, but I’m sorry you are in that situation especially given how hard you’ve worked to get some security.

    2. Misty*

      “I had hoped that the way the CARES act would be implemented would be, essentially, lifting the cap by $600, so that people who are now partially unemployed could collect cap + 600 – paycheck. Instead, it’s being implemented so that it’s cap – paycheck: if ≥$1, give additional $600; if <$1, give nothing."

      Oh no! I thought it was whatever you made in unemployment + 600 too. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts this week. That totally sucks that you did everything right and it's falling apart. I'm so sorry.

  243. Spargle*

    My firm is very distrustful of remote work – to the point where the HR person had essentially moved into the satellite office so that she can keep an eye on everyone here. It’s ridiculous. The staff are required to be in the offices every day (we do nothing that can’t be done at home) and many of the lower-level associates have returned to the office because the extra strictures and demands made upon the remote workers were too much. I, for one, came back after two days. Remote work is terrible for my mental and emotional health to begin with, and then adding on seven extra steps that add no value other than extra work and stress for me outweighed the risk for me. Everyone in our office has pretty much resigned ourselves to this reality. If Susie is infected then we’ve all been infected, so we do our best to isolate and socially distance when we’re not at work. I’m pretty sure I would have missed something and eventually been fired – and I am the only person in my household so I have to have a job. Fortunately, that also means I’m not a danger to any family or roommates.

    If I had known this level of distrust was part of the management culture, I wouldn’t have taken this job. Now I feel stuck. At least my actual coworkers are wonderful people and I enjoy the work.

  245. Pru*

    We’re in week 4 of our states stay-at-home order. My daughter is 6 and is doing e-learning. I haven’t been able to participate in any of it as I still have to come in to work. I feel ridiculously guilty. The level of mom guilt that I already had has risen about 10 fold. She is taken to my MIL’s house every morning so myself and my husband can work. My MIL is the one who helps her w/ her school work and takes her on walks and does all the things that I, as her mom, should be doing. I am so very grateful for her though, even if I’m a tiny bit jealous and resentful in a way that I feel guilty for feeling. She is retired and is considered high risk. My FIL is a mail carrier. My daughter probably shouldn’t even be at their house. If my MIL gets sick, she will most likely die from this virus. She has comprised lungs from a rare birth abnormality and because of that has had life long asthma and COPD. My husbands job isn’t a job that can be done remotely. Mine is, however the company I work for won’t provide the necessary equipment for me to do my job at home. I use a program that can’t run on the company issued laptops (although another colleague was given a “real” laptop in order to use the program they use to complete their work). The majority of everyone else at work is working from home. Some employees are remoting in to their computers here at work in order to help someone who is in the office/warehouse or to access something they need. I’m not for sure if the owner is aware of this or not, but it’s usually highly frowned upon. I’m consider “essential” as I am the one who does payroll, pays all sales tax for 20+ states, handles all A/R & A/P, processes all wage related forms and reports that are required by our state, 2 other states for remote employees, and the federal gov. Remote work has never been an option here in the 10 years that I’ve been here up until recently when a few people were allowed to work remote during certain situations. Now the majority are being allowed to work remote. Technically I could 100% work from home, if I were allowed to remote in to my computer. I don’t even know how I feel about any of this. Before this, I was already looking for another job due to some things that I did not agree with here and made me question the ethics and principles of some in charge. This morning a few people who are still here in the office were all excited over reading Trumps guidelines to open the country in phrases. Do they not understand it’s not up to him? It’s our Governor who has that right. Others here keep saying this is just like the flu and people are over reacting. Yet here we are in a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere America that has a population of less than 600 and there are 13 confirmed cases w/ several more that are waiting on results. I just want to be at home with my family. I just want to be able to help my 6 year old with her school work. I don’t even know why I’m commenting on here really, maybe I just needed to vent. I just want normal back.

  246. aett*

    It sounds like it’s normal to be stressed with kids around while WFH, but I have to ask if anyone has had any luck getting younger kids (in this case, 4) to stop being so clingy and spend more time playing on their own.

    My older kid is mostly fine – he’s busy with distance learning and his own activities – but the 4-year-old is just constantly – CONSTANTLY – asking us to play with her. We feel terrible and stressed.

    1. Cimorene*

      wish i had ideas but just here to say i sympathize. I have a toddler and she wants nonstop attention and even when i give it to her, her attention span for activities is super short. It’s really rough, hang in there!

  247. another, another librarian*

    I work for a fairly large library system that is handling COVID-19…not well. I understand that politics are involved; however, a mid level manager is making their own rules that contradict upper management (think over a county or a city) and our director will just defer to the mid level manager.

    They want us to provide curb side pick up with no PPE and when it’s brought up that not everyone feels comfortable with this, we’re told to deal with it or face disciplinary action. I guess I’m just at a loss of what to do. I understand everyone is floundering and hoping for the best right now, it’s just hard on morale when management is giving no cares about how staff is, just how they’ll look to the public. I’m just exhausted because it’s seems like no one cares about us “essential staff” who, right now are not essential.

  248. entrylevelsomething*

    I was hired for what I’m trying really hard not to call my dream job, but suffice to say a job that was very interesting to me and was a step up in pay and responsibilities, with truly amazing benefits– to the point where my mentor said “honestly, I’m jealous of you.” I was supposed to start on March 23rd. I was laid off (with two weeks’ severance) from the job I’d very luckily not given notice to yet on March 12th, and very quickly my new job said that they’d have to push my start date back indefinitely– I can’t really train remotely so I’m at the mercy of when we can start re-opening NYC. HR said they were committed to honoring my offer, but I keep going back and forth on whether or not I think it’ll get pulled anyway– on the one hand, it’s a non-profit so their funding will be tricky over the next few years and they might start slashing the budget in anticipation of a bad year next year. On the other, it’s one of the largest and most beloved ones in its area, they’ve had much worse deficits before, and they created this position to fill a need they’ve had for years and my future boss was chomping at the bit to get someone in the role. It’s a lot of uncertainty, like everything right now.

  249. CMS*

    I’m enjoying the flexibility, sleeping in, and capacity to take power breaks while at home to boost my productivity.
    Fewer meetings has allowed me to work on manuals and other time consuming projects I’ve been putting off. However, communication has been horrendous and it has been very frustrating to get timely responses from my team and senior management. Lack of responsiveness has been extremely frustrating.

  250. VioletOwl*

    I didn’t comment in the prior thread for essential personnel as I didn’t see it until last night, but: I’m essential personnel, working in a hospital lab for a large hospital system. I just got trained on a COVID-19 testing platform that will roll out soon. I haven’t changed much about my daily life, in truth, as I’m a bit of a homebody anyway. But where I had insomnia/shift worker sleep syndrome before, I am exhausted now and can FINALLY sleep, even if it’s fitful.

    I am, admittedly, mildly jealous of those that are home – I have a terrible case of “the grass is greener” syndrome right now. I want time off, I want to nap, to devour a TV series, and read books and eat quarantine snacks. But I keep doing what I do, because infectious disease was my jam in college and this is precisely why I do what I do. I am deeply grateful, though, that I picked a very stable field when I chose my trade. I am so glad to still be employed full-time.

  251. Mike*

    I’ve recently been laid off for the past 3 weeks and my employer has asked me to return. Legally do I have to except, and if I don’t expect will that give me a problem filling for unemployment.

    I want to move on from them as I don’t see it being a fit for me anymore. I left a job of 8 years to go work for them and I believe I made a mistake in doing so. I just want to make sure I do it correctly so I can collect unemployment while I look for a new job.

  252. StugglingMom*

    I am struggling to keep up with work and my children (10 and 5). The kids have Zoom classes 3 times a day, each, and my employer thinks I should be able to complete all work tasks as if I were in the office. My husband doesn’t have the option to be home with us so everything is falling on me. I have tried to come up with a schedule but I swear these kids want a break every 10 minutes. I can’t stay focused for longer than a few minutes before that 5 year old pops up for some attention. Neither my supervisor or manager have spouses or children and have expressed their concern with my declining work. I was actually called to come into the office for a meeting with them so they could discuss my performance issues and hand me a copy of my job discription. By the time my husband gets home I’m in tears and on the verge of a breakdown from the chaos from my kids and the nasty emails from work. I don’t know how to do this and I think I’m hitting my breaking point.

  253. Beth*

    I have been unemployed since February. I worked in apartment leasing, and unfortunately, my sales weren’t great.

    I have been trying , to no avail, to find another job, any job, but something in a professional vein. Meanwhile, I just started receiving the expanded benefits. The extra would come a long way to clearing some debts, but I am torn as I would very much would like to work. Has anyone here that was receiving unemployment went out and got a job at a grocery store/Walmart just so they can say they have been working? And with all this virus meds going on is it really worth the risk?

  254. Jenny*

    I don’t live in the US, I live in Europe. The country I live in is not under a full lockdown, you can still travel, but you’re only supposed to do so if it’s essential. Lots of people here don’t have cars, especially international workers in big cities like me. My company has sent everyone home, but it’s a public building so it’s unlocked during the day and there are security staff, so you can enter the building if needed. The problem I’m experiencing is that the company seems to have decided that because it’s legal to travel, the answer to any problem you are having can be, ‘Well go in to work and get it.’ There is no need to work with you to avoid going in, especially if it will cost them money. Among the things people have been told to go in for: office supplies, printing or scanning, your computer monitor, your desk chair. How you get a chair home on a bus is not clear. If you buy any of these things to use for your work – and obviously if you didn’t have them, you’re using them for work – they will not pay you back. Their theory is that they’ve given you the opportunity to work from home, and if it’s necessary to have something to do your work, it’s necessary to travel to work to get it. There is no moral or ethical consideration they need to take to protect your health and safety if it will cost a few euros. This is the message from both management and Human Resources. I find this completely irresponsible, but am I just destined to be stuck with my feelings?

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