update: I’m a member of The Satanic Temple and got outed at work

by Alison Green on May 16, 2022

Remember the letter-writer who’s a member of The Satanic Temple and got outed at work and her boss had become hostile to her? Here’s the update.

So my update is better but a bit of a bummer.

My manager got suspended pending an investigation. Not because of me directly, but this was I guess a cherry on the cake of issues she’d been having for a while under the radar.

At the beginning of April, our corporate office sent out a few holiday well wish bulletins for Ramadan, Eid, Passover, and Easter. Boss had been complaining about only certain bulletins (guess which ones) quite loudly to certain people. Other coworkers had been to HR because of Boss’s comments and weird requirements about time off for non-Christian staff. Our staff is really diverse and we have a lot of coverage so it’s not like there was a shortage of people that would impact the schedule.

I went to HR before your response because things with my boss kept getting worse. My yearly reviews are in June, she pulled me in three months early and basically trashed my chances for a promotion I really wanted saying I was a distraction in the office and becoming entitled and my work quality was low.

The rest of the comments with my coworkers I’ve been able to handle with humor and being blunt but I took my performance eval to HR and explained everything.

HR was great. I didn’t expect that level of support and while I don’t think I’m the catalyst for her suspension, I’m relieved the company is upholding the values they say they have.

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{ 158 comments }

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  1. Putting the Dys in Dysfunction*

    OP, your boss leaving may pay dividends with respect to your coworkers’ behavior as well. The old boss likely contributed to a culture of non-inclusion, which hopefully will now improve.

    1. Eldritch Office Worker*

      This! Especially if HR is being supportive. They likely will be primed to address the culture issue after their investigation.

      1. Kevin Sours*

        Assuming they know about it. If it doesn’t stop OP would be well advised to say something about it. Especially knowing HR will likely have their back.

        1. Eldritch Office Worker*

          I have a hard time imagining it didn’t come up when OP “explained everything” and brought them their performance review that included being “a distraction” but yes OP should consider them a friendly resource from here on out

          1. Kevin Sours*

            “The rest of the comments with my coworkers I’ve been able to handle with humor and being blunt but I took my performance eval to HR and explained everything.”

            Suggests OP may be downplaying the extent of coworkers’ behavior to HR.

    2. Nonprofit Junkie*

      Agreed. An effective manager would have shut the coworker comments down. I’m very sorry this happened to you and to your other non-Christian coworkers.

    3. Smithy*

      I do have hopes for this as well.

      Not exactly the same situation, but I thought Anthony Bourdain wrote a very good article about the MeToo movement where he mentioned that while he didn’t engage in that behavior – he didn’t engage in behavior that made anyone feel like they could confide in him about being maltreated either. While there may be a coworker or two who feel similarly or sympathetically to the boss, the boss clearly created a larger environment where multiple staff members were feeling excluded but then also unaware of who was or was not sympathetic to the boss’s views.

      The coworker who originally saw the OP and donated, may have ultimately outed the OP in a relatively innocent way during chitchat about the weekend. But given the initial reaction from the boss and larger team, there was no way for the OP to know how widespread and malicious the reaction was. Which can then make the experience at work feel very isolating and potentially scary. So hopefully this response from HR stops anyone else who may have been sympathetic to the boss and for those who were coming from a more clueless or lighthearted place, that tone is easier to identify.

      1. WantonSeedStitch*

        I’m going to have to find that Bourdain article. I was really, really fond of him, and would like to see that perspective.

        1. Smithy*

          Ok – not an article, an interview – https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2017/10/anthony-bourdain-on-weinstein-john-besh-and-meathead-restaurant-culture.html

          Still, some really good reflection on how someone can be a “not bad person” but how in a problematic professional culture, that can still prevent you from being seen as the ally you’d like to see yourself as. As this is an interview, he’s not quite as concise on this issue as he may have been in subsequent articles/interviews, but still really interesting. And I think the interviewer is good in highlighting how Bourdain himself likely engaged in some professional leadership earlier in his career that he wouldn’t have celebrated later.

      2. Elle*

        I loved that piece of his. Really respect folks who can take stock of their behavior like that. I miss him and his contributions tremendously. :-(

  2. LavaLamp(she/her)*

    I’m glad someone is taking this seriously and that HR is looking into things. I hope things continue to improve!

  3. Jora Malli*

    OP, I’m so glad you went to HR to stand up for yourself! It sounds like your manager was a religious discrimination lawsuit waiting to happen, and it’s good that you were able to give HR more data points for their investigation.

    1. JSPA*

      Yes! It would be great if every human were ready to see the lessons in front of them and stop being discriminatory. But sometimes the best short term result is that the company puts a stop to the problem by giving them an endless unpaid vacation to think about what they got wrong…and everyone else can get back to doing a good job without the acrid smoke of smoldering hatred seeping under the doors.

    2. Recruited Recruiter*

      As an HR Person,
      If I were in the position of the investigation it sounds like these HR people are doing, I would be happy to receive additional info like this.
      If there is a major incident like this, please go to HR.

      1. Fikly*

        With the ways laws are in the US, unless there is good proof, it’s very often just too risky, especially if you live in a no fault state, or work for a small employer.

        They can fire you and you have no recourse.

        It’s all well and good to say “go to HR” but when you are risking losing your job as a consequence, and you don’t have any evidence that HR will support you, why on earth would we trust HR?

        1. quill*

          In this case OP now has pretty decent reasons to trust that HR is taking the problem seriously.

  4. NotAnotherSageGrouse*

    Glad your employer is taking your boss’ bigoted behavior seriously, OP!
    Hope your coworkers get bored with gossip, and that you snag that promotion :)

  5. anonymous73*

    It always nice to hear when someone has HR’s support against a terrible boss. Your complaint may not have been the catalyst, but it may have been one of the last straws.

    1. MissMeghan*

      I agree. I understand why OP says the update is a bit of a bummer, but to me it’s such a relief when you see that a bad boss isn’t reflective of a company-wide problem.

  6. KTB1*

    I actually don’t think that’s a bummer at all. It sounds like HR is appropriately dealing with a terrible boss.
    Fingers crossed that she gets shown the door and you get your well-deserved promotion!

    1. MEH Squared*

      I was thinking the same thing. I really hope things improve for the OP from here on out and that the boss is G-O-N-E. Good job, OP, on advocating for yourself with HR.

    2. Cobol*

      I came to say something similar. Hopefully LW will identify the part that’s a bummer.

      1. ecnaseener*

        I think the bummer is the getting-blocked-from-promotion part! Even if/when LW gets a better manager, who knows how long it’ll take for the promotion to come back around.

        2. ferrina*

          Yes, this stuck out to me. I’ve been blocked from a promotion by a vindictive boss (not for religion) and it’s jarring. I hope LW is able to surround themself with friends and family who provide support and are able to help keep them grounded- I know I went in for a head trip after my experience.

          LW, you are doing everything right and showing extraordinary courage. I hope things calm back down and you are able to go back to getting the professional respect that you deserve at work (and hopefully that promotion, too!)

          1. ferrina*

            side note- if you have any proof of the promotion, such as a professional growth plan or emails, save those. If they later determine that your boss was discriminating, you may be able to tell them that you were blocked from a promotion and they can help. In one case, my professional development was stunted due to pregnancy discrimination (my boss stopped giving me assignments for the last 4 months of my pregnancy, so I wasn’t able to take on the new responsibilities that I had been promised), and when I brought this up to a new boss 6 months later, HR was suddenly able to promote me off-cycle.

        3. Cobol*

          I may be misreading, but it doesn’t sound like their manager blocked them from an upcoming promotion, as much as said they weren’t going to promote them. Normally that’s the same thing, but I don’t think a suspended manager really has that kind of power.

          1. ecnaseener*

            Hm, I read “trashed my chances” as having done something to destroy said chances, like giving a lukewarm performance review. But maybe it just means trash-talked.

            LW, come back and let us know!

      2. JSPA*

        Satanic Temple folks tend to be pretty open minded, and it’s not unusual for them to harbor the expectation that when one creates a teachable moment, other people will rise to the occasion. Call it the ST version of a Kumbayah moment.

        The idea that sometimes people will not just screw themselves and others over, but will double down on it, is philosophically painful.

        But you know what, OP? It wasn’t carelessness, it wasn’t “the system” brainwashing the manager, and it wasn’t just you who was suffering. A dozen small cuts is a dozen small cuts too many.

    3. learnedthehardway*

      I agree – your company and HR are standing up for inclusion. And that benefits everybody.

    4. Yvette*

      Me too, what is the bummer part? Did we miss something? Or maybe OP is a bigger person thjan we are! :)

      1. This is a name, I guess*

        Some people see any disciplinary action against a coworker as a bummer. I know I’ve seen my coworkers feel uncomfortable when coworkers are let go, even if that person is toxic.

    5. Kes*

      Yeah it’s a bummer that boss continued to suck, but not that surprising. It’s good that HR is actually dealing with boss. Hopefully they’ll continue to follow through and you’ll have a better boss soon.

    6. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Yeah, I know that OP is sympathetic human, but boss is that meme:
      “Oh, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”

      1. whingedrinking*

        It always strikes me as odd when people fret about “getting someone fired”, when what they did was honestly report that someone’s actions to a reasonable authority figure. Didn’t that person pretty clearly get themselves fired?

    7. Frankie Bergstein*

      Me too! Bc of the title, I was worried YOU got suspended. THAT would have been a bummer.

    8. SJ (they/them)*

      same!! everything sounds good here. OP, it is right and good that your boss should face appropriate consequences for their words and actions. I commend you for standing up for yourself, and your other non-Christian coworkers by extension. Excellently done.

      I don’t recall if you mentioned if you are white, but if you are, and given the otherwise significant overlap between religious discrimination & racial discrimination, standing up for yourself here is an extra nice way to use some of your racial privilege (again, if applicable) to protect others.

  7. Hills to Die On*

    Which part is the bummer?? I hope you get the promotion and that your boss does not manage people ever again. Thanks for the update!

  8. Lobsterman*

    It’s never a bummer when destructive bigots face consequences for their bad behavior.

    1. Observer*

      True. It’s a bummer that they are so entrenched in their bigotry that the only way to stop them is to fire them.

    2. Verde*

      Thank you, I was trying to say that in my head so I could add it here, but you put it perfectly. Bravo! And good riddance.

  9. Crap Spackle*

    In the original post, there were commenters who were keen to blame OP on the claim of her religious persuasion being inherently provocative. I hope this update is a reminder to those that a bigot is a bigot and victim blaming is never a good look.

    1. Critical Rolls*

      Yeah, if the word Satan makes you clutch your pearls, it’s probably good to check your clutching reflex about other religious practices in general.

      1. Marcia*

        I disagree. There is a difference. Being against Islam or Judaism is not the same as being against Satanism. This boss happened to be a bigoted jerk and also reacted poorly to Satanism. You could have somebody not be a bigoted jerk and react poorly to Satanism. The Temple of Satan is an intentionally provocative name. Islam or Judaism is not.

        1. Sorrischian*

          Sure, the name is provocative – but how people respond to being provoked is on them.

          Someone saying “you’re a member of the Church of WHAT?” but then hearing their coworker out (or doing some research of their own) about what they do and stand for and making a good-faith effort to continue to treat them normally, even if they are still maybe a bit weirded out by the Satan aspect, would be one thing. Actively mocking and ostracizing them? Not so much!

        2. Well...*

          A lot of satanic iconography originates in other pagan religions Christianity was persecuting, so they don’t get to turn around now and claim anyone who uses those images is trying to provoke them. It was provocative from its medieval goat-hooved beginnings.

        3. FFR Now*

          It’s NOT the Temple of Satan though, is it? It’s The Satanic Temple – and it’s NOT about Satanism, and it’s NOT a religion. Read up about it from neutral sources, and read up about world religions again from neutral sources. Being an ignorant bigot is still being a bigot.

        4. Wee wee wee*

          Ooh, this comment sounds to me like it’s getting into “Wearing a low-cut shirt is intentionally provocative” territory.

        6. Batgirl*

          Yes, the Satanic Temple folks know their name is provocative. However the point is that the word “satan” shouldn’t be provocative just because of people’s knee jerk assumptions. The people who think it is, need to consider why they think so.

        7. Fluffy Fish*

          Just stop. You are trying to justify discriminating against someone’s religion. I don’t care what it’s called. I don’t care how you personally feel about it.

          If you are openly treating someone differently because of their religion, you’re not a good person.

        8. JewishAndVibing*

          As a Jewish person, I do not remotely agree. To many people, saying you’re a Muslim or a Jew can be seen as provocative, especially by the same people bothered by the Satanic Temple.

          Many people in the Satanic Temple use their privilege to help those of us of religious minorities, especially in pointing out to those who believe that the Untied States is truly secular. Which it is not. Secularism in the U.S. is inherently Christian.

        9. Critical Rolls*

          Uh huh. This is right next door to, “Well but Islam IS a violent religion!” and “Jews DO control Hollywood!” It’s a “gut” reaction that has nothing to do with reality.

        10. Also BIPOC*

          Do you also discriminate against the Yazidi people because some people think their God is equivalent to Satan? Religious discrimination is wrong, no matter how you slice it.

        11. Blarg*

          If only that were true.

          As a Jewish person, I can say that being Jewish has been “controversial” and “provocative” in my professional and personal life.

          For example, I lost two friends of more than a decade in 2021 when they asked what I was doing for St Patrick’s Day and I said, “I don’t observe that holiday.” (And wanted to say, “are you people nuts? no one should be doing anything, it’s a freaking pandemic”). I was told that I was anti-Christian and anti-Catholic, and that they could eat latkes at Hanukkah and still disagree with Israel.

          It isn’t my holiday. But apparently they’d celebrated my holiday via potato pancakes (which wasn’t with me; I don’t ask people to observe my celebrations), so I was obligated to observe their holiday. Bringing Israel into it was the cherry on the anti-Semitic sundae cause … that’s the only reason to bring it up.

          These are two woke leftist liberals. So, yea. Being Jewish can be provocative. People who hate … just hate.

          1. Princesss Sparklepony*

            With those comments and actions it doesn’t sound like they are woke leftist liberals.

            And how weird to drag on someone who doesn’t celebrate St Patrick’s day which is pretty much a get drunk and wear green day. It’s more secular than religious. OK, there are some old people who will head to mass that morning – before getting their drink on, but for the most part it’s a parade and beer. I will admit to getting some corned beef and potatoes around St Pats since the delis/grocery store prepared food sections will have it available and I’m too lazy to make it myself. But I wouldn’t say I celebrate. Or force anyone else to do so or get cranky if they don’t.

            Do they complain if you don’t do Santa-con?

        12. Kevin Sours*

          The point to the Temple of Satan is that they aren’t any more provocative than a lot of religious beliefs, they just don’t get a pass for it. They actively demonstrate the hypocrisy of people who insist on being allowed to push their religious beliefs on others and then turn around and complain bitterly about having to be exposed to other people’s beliefs.

    3. Meep*

      So much this. I had a coworker who is a bigot. People kept making excuses because she is an older Southern lady, but at some point, you are going to have to call a spade a spade when they bash every race, gender, and creed of people that aren’t white cishet Christan males such as herself*

      *She is a weird one and totally gives off 1950’s corporate man vibes.

      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        Yes.
        because, ok, I’ll play that game.
        Coworker thinks “white is right”.
        Rock on, with your bad self, General LeeAnn. But I don’t have to listen to it.
        I don’t have to respect your right to say it to me in my workplace. I don’t have to stay silent and let people think I agree with it.

    5. SixTigers*

      They were blaming OP because of a reasonably sensible belief system? Okay, the name is going to flash some dark corners and trigger some knee-jerk reactions, but I seem to remember that Jesus would sit down and eat — an enormously significant social interaction — with people considered the scum of the earth, including prostitutes and tax collectors, and people even HE called corrupt (Pharisees).

      Interesting that the Holy Rollers don’t seem to remember that part, either . . .

  10. Verthandi*

    Thanks for the update! I’m glad things are turning out well. Good luck with getting the promotion!

  11. Mm*

    I feel like this is a huge part of what satanic temple is about – giving a structure for people to point out how ridiculous/bad the religious discrimination is. I think this is a *huge* win for your colleagues who were struggling with this boss in relation to their more deeply held religion.

    1. All the words*

      It provides an official religion for the irreligious to call home when they can see (in the U.S.) a religion being unconstitutionally forced on people.

      Want to put a manger scene up in front of city hall? Okay, then by law you have to also put up this Baphomet display and this Solstice display.

      1. SixTigers*

        I find it amusing that when a statue of Satan (including horns, cloven feet, and tail, and complete with two kids on its lap) is going to be put up next to the Ten Commandments, which has been “proudly” erected on public property, the Ten Commandments suddenly finds a new home.

        1. Pointy's in the North Tower*

          That’s Baphomet, not Satan, and I was really, really hoping for a Baphomet monument next to the Ten Commandments one since I work a block away from the capitol grounds where Commandments were and Baphomet would have been placed.

    2. Userper Cranberries*

      Dismissing someone’s religion as less “deeply held” while talking about how bad religious discrimination is isn’t a good look. You might want to reflect a bit more on how you think and talk about religions you don’t find personally compelling.

      1. Former Hominid*

        The Satanic Temple is an explicitly Atheistic organization founded to support freedom of and freedom from religion. So while I get what you’re saying, I think Mm is not particularly wrong in their framing.

        1. Userper Cranberries*

          I know exactly what the Satanic Temple is. I still find it very gross and discriminatory to assume that someone doesn’t deeply hold to their beliefs because of which religion it is.

          1. whisky galore*

            As an actual member of The Satanic Temple, I’m completely unfazed by the above commenter’s description of other religious beliefs as ‘more deeply held’; primarily because although my church uses satanism as a metaphor, my religious beliefs are non-existent.

            Other TST members may have deeply held beliefs that correlate with the TST’s mission, so I don’t want to discount their experience — but personally speaking, your assumption that I am somehow affronted by an accurate take on TST is incorrect.

            2. A friendly neighbourhood satanist*

              I agree with this.
              My deeply held beliefs correlate with the TST tenets, but that’s largely because the tenets were a very good and articulate expression of beliefs I already held.
              They are, at their core, *secular* beliefs, though in this case they are embedded in a pseudo-religious framework for the purpose of making a point.
              TST does operate in a weird liminal space where it both is and is not an actual religion, and I have no problem with saying that someone who is a member of an actual religion that doesn’t have that strange caveat probably has more deeply held religious beliefs than I do. Because their beliefs are actually religious with no asterisk.

        2. Well...*

          Obligatory shout-out to other religions like paganism, wicca, etc that use imagery and practices associated with Christianity’s version of Satan and who also deserve freedom of religion even if they aren’t the activist demonstration of religious freedom that TST is.

      2. A friendly neighbourhood satanist*

        I get your point, but I also understand what Min was trying to say, even if they didn’t phrase it perfectly. I think you could have called them in a bit more gently.

        I do deeply believe in the tenets of the Satanic Temple – they really reflect my personal moral compass, and I believe in them strongly. But I also see how they’re a bit different from religious beliefs that claim divine inspiration, and why people might view them a bit differently.

        1. CoveredinBees*

          Perhaps a useful distinction would be theological vs. philosophical beliefs. You can have philosophical beliefs that have theological origins. You can have philosophical beliefs that come from elsewhere. As I understand it, TST’s tenets fit the latter group.

    3. SleepyKitten*

      Yes I came here to say this! The fact that LW was experiencing discrimination without even asking for accommodations* exposed the underlying discrimination that loads of other employees were facing.

      *Obviously accommodations are good, but people use “this accommodation is too hard for us” as an excuse that’s difficult to argue with

  12. Cnoocy*

    I wonder whether the boss knew they had messed up in the past, and knowing that they had a employee in a group known for suing over religious discrimination made them freak out. Ironically leading to consequences for their religious discrimination.

    1. LavaLamp(she/her)*

      I think it’s probably more likely that the boss is so confident that everyone secretly agrees with her, that she didn’t think anyone would call her on it.

      1. Yvette*

        I think you hit the nail on the head. Isn’t that how most bigots are? “Oh everybody feels that way, I’m the only one with the guts to say it.” She got what she deserved.

      3. SixTigers*

        Or, “I don’t care WHAT other people say, I’M going to act the way I want! And if that dirty XYZ doesn’t like it, s/he can leave!”

    2. This is a name, I guess*

      Who wants to bet that boss is going to squawk about being religiously discriminated against herself for BEING A CHRISTIAN! OMG! THE MOST OPPRESSED GROUP!

    3. Salymander*

      I doubt the bigot boss really thought seriously about the possibility of being sued by the employee with support from TST. I think bigot boss probably never spared a thought to the fact that such bigotry could ever be seen as wrong by anyone in a position to do anything about it. Whenever I have witnessed or had to deal with this particular variety of bigotry, the bigot/s always behaved as if they were absolutely correct to behave the way they did, and they seemed to think that all right minded people would agree with them. It was like they felt immune from any consequences because they thought that everyone around them agreed with their core beliefs. Anyone who did disagree was seen to be either The Other and therefore not deserving of basic human respect, or was apostate and in rebellion against a set of rules and beliefs that everyone including the wayward person knew was the One Right Way. All beliefs that don’t agree with theirs are seen as only existing as an opposition to their own beliefs. This validates their feeling that the world is operating as binary, an Us versus Them sort of system, with everyone working either for or against one commonly recognized set of core beliefs. It probably never crossed the bigot’s mind that anyone might have nothing to do with their system at all.

  13. Yep, me again*

    I don’t understand why this would be called a ‘bummer’. Sounds to me like this manager is probably going to be fired and the performance evaluation can be carried out by someone else who might evaluate it more fairly.

    OP-what makes this a bummer?

    1. Boof*

      They’re probably just sad their boss couldn’t pull themselves together and stop discriminating

      1. Eldritch Office Worker*

        Yeah “bummer, things got worse and it turns out my manager is an even bigger than I thought” sounds reasonable

        1. Eldritch Office Worker*

          I meant to write “bigger bigot” but since I accidentally omitted the word fill with the descriptor of your choice

            1. ScruffyInternHerder*

              I assumed that’s why the (descriptive noun) was not included, myself :) So we could fill in to our own personal taste/level of salt and color.

              1. Salymander*

                Yeah I was actually really appreciative of the mad libs style comment because I had a whole bunch of words I wanted to use.

    2. zutara*

      It’s because the crappy boss moved the review period up early *specifically* to give the LW a bad review and tank their chances for a promotion for this year.

    3. RedinSC*

      I think the *bummer* is that the boss wasn’t fired immediately, but suspended. There is a chance this boss will be back, in her same role, with her same power, actually.

      To me, that’s the bummer.

  14. CheesePlease*

    I think it’s a bummer only because instead of realizing their errors and improving as a person or manager, they were simply fired. Maybe this will encourage them to change. But, still a bummer in some sense. I get that OP. Glad HR did their job though :)

    1. RedinSC*

      But she wasn’t fired, she was suspended. There’s a chance she’s coming back, right?

      1. SixTigers*

        Possibly? Or they suspended her in order to get her the heck out of the office and out of people’s faces while they put together the termination paperwork and prepared to advertise for a replacement.

  16. Sparkles McFadden*

    I get why you feel this update is a bummer. You seem like a kind and thoughtful person so you were hoping that there would be a meeting of the minds, and this issue could be addressed by everyone being an adult professional. Please keep in mind that your boss has probably been on HR’s radar for a long time. No one gets suspended or fired over just one thing. For every one item you’ve seen or experienced personally, there were fifty others you did know about. You had concrete proof that HR could use to back up more nebulous reports. Most progress is made in this less than satisfying fashion.

    Speaking for myself, it’s always good to hear about an HR department doing the job right.

    Wishing you all the best…

  17. ChemistryChick*

    This is so very satisfying to read. I’m glad things were handled in the appropriate manner, OP!

  18. Emily*

    I think this update is actually pretty great! OP, I’m so glad HR took your concerns seriously and I’m so glad your boss’s terrible behavior is being addressed.

  19. Lirael*

    I’m really confused that everyone seems to think the manager has been fired and that this is a great update. The letter is clear that the manager has only been suspended.

    As to why the situation is a bummer:
    -the situation got worse after the previous letter
    -OP got a bad performance review
    -OP got prevented from a promotion she wanted: there’s nothing to say that this has been rescinded
    -presumably the suspension will finish and the manager will come back. Even if she is warned not to retaliate against OP, it’s still not going to be fun working for her.

    Good luck OP, I hope things get properly better from here!

    1. DonnaMartinGraduates!*

      damn – I think I missed a lot of those finer points (and the not-so-fine ones — ahem, manager suspended not fired…)

      Thanks for the clarification!

    2. Emily*

      Lirael: Unless I missed it, I don’t see anyone saying the boss has been fired, but the boss being suspended while an investigation is done is a really important step, and could very likely lead to firing when the investigation concludes (I witnessed that happen at my previous work place). Also, OP said that HR has been great and OP let them know about the bad performance review from the boss, so hopefully that will be corrected.

      1. Lirael*

        Quite a few comments say yay the boss was fired! It’s weird. And yes she might be, or she might see the light and improve or resign, but this is far from definite. Also I feel like if HR was going to trash the bad review this would already be in progress. I dunno, I just totally understand why OP says it’s a bummer and if I were them I’d be nonplussed to come here and have everyone saying it wasn’t.

        1. Emily*

          Lirael: Yeah, it’s definitely a misreading of OP’s update if people think the boss was fired. Because the boss hasn’t been, at least not yet, but the boss has been suspended which is a good first step. All I see about the performance review is that OP took it to HR and explained everything, so it doesn’t seem a conclusion has been reached on that yet, but hopefully it will be addressed. OP see the update as a bit of a bummer, which is of course their prerogative, but I thought it was great that HR is actually being so supportive and taking action, which we see way too little of. I’m not surprised by the way the boss continued to behave because by what was described in the first letter it did not seem like the boss was at all a reasonable person and it did not seem like the boss was going to change, but I know it can be extremely frustrating when you are a reasonable/kind person and have the realistic expectation that people should treat you the same way, but then they don’t.

    3. This is a name, I guess*

      I’m betting Manager didn’t get fired because she’s threatening her own religious discrimination litigation, because they are not respecting her Christian beliefs. OP’s probably going to be subjected to a lot of “war on Christmas” rhetoric.

      1. quill*

        The more Boss ticks off HR with that speech though, the more they can tell HER boss about her behavior.

    4. Dinwar*

      The manager got suspended pending an investigation–probably a good sign for how this investigation would go.

      While I agree with the points you raise, I have a feeling that these performance reviews won’t stick. The boss is pretty clearly retaliating against the employee, which is illegal. HR seems to be pretty good at this company, so they likely will take that into consideration. It’s a rough patch now, to be sure! I just feel that it’s likely to get better. It’s certainly NOT going to look good in the investigation. I mean, flagrantly discriminating against someone on the basis of religion, then retaliating against them when you’re called out on it, offer a pretty cut-and-dried case.

    5. Boof*

      Well said, though i hope the manager’s suspension means other fixes and improvements will soon follow

  20. DonnaMartinGraduates!*

    Gratifying update. Thanks, OP and all the best with your quest for a promotion.

  21. Eye roll*

    I don’t see any part of this as a bummer, OP.

    I hope HR also dealt with that “review” of hers – no reason you should bear any consequences for a bigoted manager.

    1. allathian*

      The only thing I see as a bummer is that the bigot was only suspended rather than fired outright. But I do hope that the OP can get HR to strike the bad review from her record.

  22. Richard Hershberger*

    She is now shouting from the rooftops that she is being oppressed for being a Christian. I know the type, and this is invariably the next step. They give Christianity a bad name.

    1. Fluffy Fish*

      Maybe shes the person who had enough free time to rant online about meditation barbie really introducing kids to satan.

      1. bratschegirl*

        I saw that! A coworker of mine immediately went out and bought one. She’s going to be our mascot now.

    3. A Feast of Fools*

      I am reminded of the almost-yearly studies showing that white Evangelicals believe that Christians face more discrimination in the US than any other group, including Muslims.

      1. Salymander*

        The fundie church my family went to would get really upset by any perceived slight, and every time there would be weeks and weeks of ranting/preaching about christians being persecuted and fed to the lions and sinners burning in a lake of fire. Any consequences for bad behavior were really a plot by servants of the devil to hurt Jesus. It was incredibly tiresome, and really contributed to my budding atheism.

  23. Anon for this*

    I’m so pleased!! I’m also really curious how many of TST’s application “how did you find us” sections now say “that Ask A Manager article” (like mine will eventually…).

  24. Fluffy Fish*

    Hey OP – I’m guessing its a bummer because of your review and because your coworkers are still being jerks.

    But HR being supportive is a great thing and should help you further resolve things (if you feel comfortable pursuing either of these of course):

    Review – go back to HR. Request a NEW review to replace that one in your file.

    Jerk Coworkers – If they are still at it keep pushing back on their behavior and consider documenting it. If it doesn’t fade as the no longer topic of gossip du jour, go back to HR. HR should follow up and make it clear that there is ZERO tolerance for that behavior and if it continues there will be consequences.

  25. Nameless in Customer Service*

    Thank you for updating us, LW. I really hope something can be done about the bad review and spiked promotion, but I am very impressed with you for going to HR and pleasantly shocked by their compassionate and just response.

  27. milksnake*

    OP my heart goes out to you. My boss seemed genuinely interested in my religious beliefs and then after I opened up about it things got awkward and somewhat hostile. I’ve also been told “I’m afraid you’ll put a curse on me” and other insults like that but my coworkers were thankfully very supportive.

    1. DarthVelma*

      When people make the stupid comments about being afraid you’ll put a curse on them, do you ever just want to reply “Why? What have you done to deserve that?”

      1. A Feast of Fools*

        My response is usually along the lines of, “Ooooooh!! That would be a cool super power! Can you imagine having power like that? I hope I’d use it for good but there’d probably be a lot of flat tires in the wake of my morning commute!” All while laughing and treating it like we’re on the same side of a line, not on opposite sides.

      2. Salymander*

        Maybe they are worried that OP will call down a whopping Satanic curse on them and all the generations of their family because they didn’t refill the coffeepot or they parked in OP’s parking space.

        Rolling my eyes so hard right now.

  28. I've Escaped Cubicle Land*

    OP it is very gratifying to hear that HR stepped up for you. Hope you get a more accurate performance review and the office gossip dies down. Pagan here and I’ve seen your bosses type of behavior play out before. Hopefully Boss will either not come back or have their wings so badly clipped that they are afraid to put a toe out of line.

  29. The Pied Piper*

    I haven’t even read the update yet, but greatly appreciate the reminder to join TST. I’m now a member!

  30. RJ*

    OP, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with a bad manager. Despite having HR support, I can understand why your update is a bit of a bummer since your performance review hasn’t been rescinded and re-evaluated as it should be. The manager being suspended is one step in the right direction, but it’s not the only one that needs to be taken.

  31. Gary Patterson's Cat*

    It’s a shame people have to behave like this. Her zealotry may have just lost her her job.
    I’m glad your HR took it seriously and investigated. I would maybe see if you could revisit that last review with your old manager when you do get a new manager and/or apply for the promotion again because it sounds like it was done punitively on the part of your manager.

  32. quill*

    Not much of a bummer from our perspective, given that it often takes consequences for people to realize that their bigotry is unacceptable.

  33. noname*

    OP, what were the “weird requirements about time off for non-Christian staff”?

  34. GythaOgden*

    This is great news! The thread discussion last time round was very interesting — as a practising Christian I wholly support your cause because of the way it challenges us. I wish you all the best because we do need that voice making us all work harder to think things through more carefully. I’ve been on a long spiritual road and just reading and contributing to the thread really helped make a few decisions that needed making.

    I wish you all the best and I’m so glad you rid yourself of that toxic manager.

  35. JewishAndVibing*

    OP, I hope you’re ok. It already sounded pretty hostile, and to hear it got worse before the letter was published is awful.

  36. CommanderBanana*

    Thank you for the update! I work in an organization that likes to pat itself on the back for being “diverse” and makes a lot of hay with its (toothless) DEI initiatives, but I still get a ton of pushback about taking the High Holy Days (all two of them!) off, including people who think it’s appropriate to call with work issues on Yom Kippur! The mentality seems to be that if it’s not a Christian holiday it’s not a “real” and doesn’t need to be respected.

    1. Blarg*

      Ugh, I’m sorry. I’ve been there. My senior year high school homecoming was on Yom Kippur. They pushed the start of the dance back a half hour to “accommodate” the handful of Jewish students. It’s been more than twenty years. It’s not that I’m still sad or bitter, but … I remember.

      Also, I like your user name and if anyone who knows me reads this blog, they’d prob think that you were me. Which is oddly relieving … I’m always so worried about anonymity.

      1. CommanderBanana*

        Yep, then they scheduled a mandatory, organization-wide, all-staff retreat. On Yom Kipper. Because iNcLuSiViTy.

        1. Blarg*

          Nope, nope, nope, nope.

          I’d START observing on principle.

          I used to work in 24/7 spaces where I could be the hero for covering the shifts no one else wanted AND get extra pay.

          My current org is legit in DEI efforts, and I’ve been trying to figure out a way for non-Christians to be able to observe holidays without having to use vaca time that’s “fair” when our org closes the week of Christmas to New Years (paid). It’s like, great that we get a week off, and also the last week on earth I’d choose to have off. The org is open to suggestions but … figuring one out has been hard.

  37. yala*

    I’d say it’s kind of the opposite of a bummer. I mean, absolutely sucks that she’s Like That, but it’s REALLY good that you and others went to HR and that they actually seem to take it seriously and are (hopefully) doing something to make the workplace less hostile.

    It’s always nice when bullies who think they’re invulnerable find out they aren’t.

  38. Sindy*

    At least you got some justice OP. Glad to hear that HR is being proactive and helpful, hopefully your coworkers will get bored and your promotion will get straightened out. Rooting for you!

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