Ask a Manager

It’s your Friday good news!

1.  “I have a success story that happened on Friday the 13th, of all things. I work in the office three days a week and usually have two appointments Friday afternoon that I can do from home. On Thursday, I prepared all the necessary documents and took them home so I would have everything I needed for the home office. Friday morning, I unpacked my bag and put the documents away, thinking, ‘Oh right, these are the things I need for my appointments tomorrow.’ I happily went about my day, planned to see a friend in the afternoon and checked my calendar which I had somehow missed to write the work appointments in. You see where this is going. I don’t know which brain cells were misconnected in that moment, that I was somehow able to simultaneously check that Friday afternoon was free and
not make the connection that the documents I had just put away were meant for Friday afternoon, but I did.

I had wonderful day and a very chill and relaxed afternoon with my friend. Right until she was about to leave. I checked my phone and saw several messages and missed calls from work, which is when it hit me: it was Friday and I was supposed to be in a zoom meeting with a client right now. My stomach dropped. My gut reaction was to cover things up. My mind started fabulating excuses but nothing I came up with sounded believable. My friend suggested telling the truth and my immediate reaction was a mortified ‘No!’ — I couldn’t let anyone know what happened, they couldn’t know I forgot, I needed a better reason … but then I thought of your blog and how often you mention owning up on your mistakes, admitting you’re mortified, explaining how you’re going to remedy the situation and just trying to do better in the future.

So I took some time to cool, mentally prepared what I was going to say and then I called my boss. And told her the truth. And that I was mortified and really sorry and how I was going make sure it didn’t happen again. And it was fine. She wasn’t happy with me forgetting, naturally, but she was just glad that I was well. ‘This is so not like you, we were worried something bad must have happened. And don’t worry, things like this usually only happen once.’ I called our receptionist who had gracefully told my clients that I was experiencing technical difficulties and couldn’t make the meeting, explained what happened and thanked her profusely for helping me keep face with the clients. And it was fine. They were all just glad I was okay.

Thank you so much for the work you do here and thanks to anyone who has ever shared their story here for giving others a learning opportunity. This blog helped me immensely when I tried being brave enough to take responsibility. And it was fine. I still can’t quite believe it. But I’m so glad and proud I handled it this way. And I’m so amazed that the reaction was exactly what you always said it would be.”

2.  “I’ve never written into AAM but I’ve been following for several years now. It’s been an invaluable resource as I entered the workforce after graduating college and working my way up. I started at my first job several years ago and thought about leaving multiple times but always found a reason to stay. I’ve been underpaid to varying degrees almost my entire time here, and just like everybody else in the past couple of years I have been thinking much harder about what I want my career to look like going forward. Last year I made a case for a promotion and got it, but I got much less of a raise than I was hoping for and it turned out having more communication with upper management just left me more frustrated over the bad decision-making than ever. I had hoped that officially having more seniority would make them more likely to listen to me, but that was naive.

A few weeks ago, my mentor and favorite person to work with quit, leaving me as the only person in my role when we really need 3 to be properly functional. Well, this is going to be very bad news for my current team because I’ve accepted an offer from a leading company for literally twice my current salary (and well over market rate and the top salary I expected to make in my entire career), top notch benefits, and a pivot to work I’m really interested in and is more in line with my personal values. I’m just waiting for the background check to clear before I give notice.

I’ve felt so much relief since accepting the offer. This job has been toxic in a lot of ways and I hadn’t realized just how much it had been dragging me down, especially over the past few years. I always read the updates on here about people making these amazing career moves and I never thought I would be one of them! Multiple people I spoke to during the process told me that the hiring manager is one of the best people managers they’ve ever worked with and I’m really excited to be moving on. I’m hoping I can help my current boss hire a replacement before I leave, but the advice here has helped me yet again in recognizing that it’s not my fault they failed to staff properly or treat their employees well enough that we want to stay.

Wishing the best of luck to all the other job seekers out there!”

3.  “A few months ago I’d emailed you about my fears in filing for medical leave (and then immediately emailed again asking you not to post it). I was worried, for various reasons, that I’d experience negative professional consequences(?) after my leave was over. Well, instead, my crappy employers laid me off right BEFORE I was supposed to go on leave! The timing was super suspicious in several ways, and HR gave me some pretty damning info via email, so I lawyered up. It was a lot of stress, but I got a much better severance in the end, and now I can actually do the medical stuff I was planning without panicking about health insurance or immediately finding a new job.

I’d like to say my former employers learned a lesson, but knowing them, I doubt that. But at least I annoyed them on my way out!”

4.  “Two years ago, I left an abusive marriage and began raising my children as a solo parent. We were scraping by, but money was very, very tight. I loved my job but I knew I would eventually need to make a change to higher paying employment. I had no idea what that might be, and needed some time to recover before I forged a new path anyways. In the meantime, I read this site diligently and continued to pursue as much knowledge in my field as I could. Preparation meets opportunity, and all that. Well, at the start of the year my workplace brought in a specialist to audit our practices and provide feedback and new strategies. After seeing my work, the auditor offered me some consultancy work and then a full role in their organization. I’m making nearly 4x my previous salary, still working in the field I love. I make my own schedule and can do most of my work from home, which allows me to be there for my kids. This is truly life changing. I’m still pinching myself!”