it’s your Friday good news by Alison Green on November 18, 2022 It’s your Friday good news! 1. “I wanted to finally provide my own good news. I started my toxic job 6 years ago, it didn’t start out as toxic but slowly became more and more so. I knew from reading your blog it was time to leave when I found myself fantasizing about getting injured significantly enough to be signed off for several months, without having a major life impact. Covid threw a wrench in my plans and the job hunt got delayed whilst the job got more toxic. Fortunately just under a year ago they offered me a compromise agreement (I’m in England) which I accepted after seeking legal advice. I ended up applying over a period of months to many, many jobs, and after around 10 interviews in a 2-week period I was offered 3 roles, one of which was the one which I felt I most wanted to do after the interviews. Although this was probably the biggest step up, the interviews felt more like a 2-sided conversation than the set questions I had at so many others which seemed limited to the information they were obtaining. I’m over 6 months into my new job and it’s going fantastically. I recently received confirmation that I’ve passed my six-month probation with positive feedback. There were definitely times when I couldn’t see myself feeling this positive about a job, so if you are in this position please keep going, it will happen for you.” 2. “While I never considered I would use them before in this way, I was able to use your interviewing tips while being a reference for someone else! I was asked to be a personal reference for a dear friend who really needed a job, and I really wanted to be helpful without being discounted because I was a personal friend. I was able to respond honestly and constructively by framing requested ‘weaknesses’ as ‘situations or circumstances that don’t play to their strengths’ (and would probably rarely come up in this particular job) compared to situations that do, and giving concrete examples of the soft and interpersonal skills I’d witnessed in various situations. I felt I was able to be both warm and professional by keeping it framed as interviewing on someone else’s behalf. My friend got the job, and I feel so grateful that I could be supportive in such a practical way!” 3. “I was laid off from my previous job after more than 15 years with the same employer. Since I’m now over 50, I was concerned about finding new employment, due to my age and having been with the previous employer that long — I know some HR folks and hiring managers see that as a concern in hiring decisions. I did receive generous severance and continued medical coverage for a number of months, and after that, my spouse was able to add me to his insurance while I continued to look. I looked diligently, applied for more than 80 positions, and also obtained certification as a Certified Industry Privacy Professional (CIPP/US). I was beginning to feel very discouraged, and was considering seeking temporary work, just to keep some cash coming in, and maybe make some new contacts. Then I happened across a job ad on LinkedIn. I’d never heard of the organization, so spent time on their website, and was very intrigued. It’s work I feel is important, involving some pretty fundamental functions supporting our society. I applied, and they called me to schedule an online conversation within a couple of days. They told me at the end of that conversation that they wanted to bring me in for an in-person interview. We did the in-person interview, which honestly felt more like a conversation than what I typically think of as an interview. I received a call with the offer a few days after that. I’ll admit I did not negotiate salary, because I feel that the offer was fair, and the benefits are generous. I’ll be starting next week. I’d never have known the job, or even the organization, existed if I hadn’t happened across that job ad, though I did submit my application through the organization’s website, not through LinkedIn. I’m looking forward to new challenges, and it sounds like this position will give me the opportunity to use more of my skill set. The advice I received from your book and the blog was invaluable, and I also received encouragement and validation from the comments section here. It all helped a lot and I appreciate it more than I can say. I’m excited to finally be able to share good news, and while I anticipate frustrations, because every job has them, I’m looking forward to diving in, learning, and seeing what I can contribute to this role.” You may also like:I can't seem to stop being late to meetingsa toxic duo, a bitter chat group, a firing, and a lot of dramaI don't know how to get past my toxic job { 23 comments }
Anon for this one* November 18, 2022 at 12:32 pm Congratulations, LW1. I have also been in a position where “I found myself fantasizing about getting injured significantly enough to be signed off for several months, without having a major life impact.” It’s appalling and tragic that a workplace can make a person think this way, and start to rationalize it like it’s a normal thought process! I’m glad we are both in better places now.
Who Am I* November 18, 2022 at 2:28 pm Mine was a voluntary hysterectomy. No more periods that were nearly disabling (the kind they used to tell us was all in our heads back then) and several weeks off work with short term disability pay. I’d have been broke for a while but the escape from the toxicity would’ve been welcome. When I finally did quit, it was with little notice and no new job line up and it felt wonderful.
Anon for this one* November 18, 2022 at 3:02 pm Mine was missing the last step and breaking my ankle (though that would have probably caused long-term effects now that I’m rational.) Preferably at work, so worker’s comp could pay for it. My company had a loophole where we could double dip and get paid the worker’s comp plus sick days if we had them.
CleverUsernameGoesHere* November 18, 2022 at 6:23 pm I’ve been in that position before too. I hated my job and my supervisor enough that I regularly had daydreams of getting hit by a bus just so I could avoid the office for a few weeks. Luckily I haven’t worked at that job in a few years.
Lyudie* November 18, 2022 at 5:07 pm I knew I needed to take a mental health day in 2020 when it occurred to me (while unable to sleep at 1 am) that if I got covid, I wouldn’t have to work. (the twist, though, is that when I DID get covid, I only took one full day off and a few short days with breaks at lunch time).
mango chiffon* November 18, 2022 at 6:01 pm Was in a similar place this summer when one coworker left, and two other coworkers were out simultaneously on parental leave. Understaffed and having to cover support while simultaneously having new duties as we returned to the office had me so anxious that I too fantasized about getting into a minor accident. Thankfully that situation was temporary and the feeling has gone, but it’s scary to think about how our brains react to that kind of stress.
Staying Anonymous Because I'm Cautious* November 18, 2022 at 12:39 pm Good is good news. LW#3 you resonate with me. In many ways, I could be you. Congratulations!
Wine not Whine* November 18, 2022 at 12:50 pm LW2, that’s brilliant! I have a friend for whom I’ve agreed to be a personal reference (we’ve done some volunteer work together) – I’ll keep your technique in mind. Thanks!
LW3* November 19, 2022 at 12:17 pm Thank you! I’m really enjoying the new job so far, too. The organization is growing, and it’s interesting being there now.
Anonymous For This One* November 18, 2022 at 12:53 pm I am so grateful for the weekly good news inspiration! I am struggling significantly right now and it keeps me hopeful that the next application will be The One. Wishing everyone happy holidays! :)
Adrian* November 18, 2022 at 1:34 pm OP2, that’s great! I recently changed jobs myself (hallelujah). My new employer specifically asked me for two references, one professional and one personal. My personal reference was a friend who started out as a colleague at a former firm. So he really knows how I operate.
NotAManager* November 18, 2022 at 2:09 pm I have a good news! I am not a confident job searcher or a particularly strong candidate but I felt drawn to a local organization who are doing some inspiring work. Against all better advice, I emailed the CEO to introduce myself and received a very encouraging reply, with an invitation to meet about some freelance work.
I went to school with only 1 Jennifer* November 18, 2022 at 5:34 pm Essentially and very incorrectly, it’s an out-of-court settlement that’s specific to employment. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compromise_agreement
Dear Reader* November 18, 2022 at 4:26 pm I got a job offer today that will let me transition from academia back into nonprofit work without taking a pay cut! It was a really long interview process, but I kept getting really positive feedback along the way which was a big boost to my self esteem.
Zaeobi* November 19, 2022 at 8:47 am Congrats! Transitioning out of academia is really tough – especially with the hit it can take to your self-esteem in the meanwhile!
Gary Patterson’s Cat* November 19, 2022 at 9:07 am It’s not exactly good news, but last weekend I submitted about 12 job applications, and was already contacted by 2 of them for a call and additional follow-up. Bad news: To my mortification, I realized last week that my first batch of applications from a few weeks ago had a typo in my resume (a duplicate word). Nevertheless, I actually did get a phone interview with one of the companies. Annoying thing: Writing a nice cover letter only to find out you can’t attach it to LinkIn or Indeed platform applies.
LW3* November 19, 2022 at 12:15 pm So with you on the spending time writing a cover letter, only to not be able to attach it. That’s incredibly frustrating, and I ran into it, too.
Jeremy Stein* November 20, 2022 at 5:46 pm LW3, I actually like that you didn’t feel you had to negotiate. That’s how I felt with my current job. I also felt like maybe I was doing something wrong not trying to negotiate, but my employer has been very fair with with my salary, and it has worked out very well for me.