most popular posts of 2022

by Alison Green on December 29, 2022

Here are the posts that interested people the most in 2022, via two lists: the most viewed posts and the most commented on posts.

Most viewed posts of 2022:

10. Should I tell my coworker she’ll never get promoted, are two-week vacations excessive, and more

9. Is our intern just clueless and inexperienced — or a con artist?

8. My wife says my relationship with my coworker is inappropriate

7. My coworker sent a classist, racist email company-wide after a janitor won our Christmas contest

6. The CEO is obsessed with me and wants me to be his emotional support

5. I got in trouble for wearing the same dress every day

4. My coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos

3. My coworker says I bullied her … should I tell her boss she needs more of a backbone?

2. Update: my best employee quit on the spot because I wouldn’t let her go to her college graduation

1. The new hire who showed up is not the same person we interviewed

Most commented on posts of 2022:

(doesn’t include open threads or “ask the readers” posts, which otherwise would hold many of the top 10 places)

10. My boss sent me a message urging me to follow Jesus, my coworker reported me for saying “data Nazi,” and more

9. My coworker is using paid paternity leave to work a second job instead of taking care of his baby

8. CEO attacked me in an all-staff email, I can’t give my employee satisfying answers, and more

7. I got in trouble for wearing the same dress every day

6. My wife says my relationship with my coworker is inappropriate

5. It feels impossible to be a working mom with little kids

4. My coworker left her baby in the car while she worked, ads that want a “bubbly personality,” and more

3. Panel member doesn’t realize I’m an expert, favorite work potluck dishes, and more

2. My coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos

1. I’m biased against people who went to women’s colleges

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{ 56 comments }

{ 56 comments… read them below }

      1. Dark Macadamia*

        I had the same question! I’d forgotten about this letter and it seems unlikely we’ll get an official update considering how the response went lol

    2. The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon*

      I loved that!
      OP: “I feel like people who went to women’s colleges are fragile and precious!”
      Women’s college alums: (rolling up sleeves, cracking knuckles) “The hell you say?”

      1. Fishsticks*

        You have to have never, ever met womens’ college alums to think they are anything but ready to stand their ground come what may.

    3. NotAnotherManager!*

      Ugh, that one. Not just holding irrational biases not supported by facts but also a manager with hiring authority.

      That one irritated me. The whole way she presented her argument, like she was so much smarter than everyone else and had cracked the code of women’s colleges when, in reality, it was just an articulate presentation of her own internalized misogyny. I went to a large, co-ed public university, but I had a dozen or so HS friends who chose various women’s colleges, and none of them were the fragile, afraid-to-compete types. Several of them were college athletes who went to schools that had a stronger women’s sports program than they would have gotten at a co-ed university that had to be sued repeatedly to enforce Title IX and provide the women’s soccer team balls that held air.

      1. Anon for this*

        I was thinking about that letter too. I went to a private, co-ed Catholic college in the 1980s. I got a great scholarship, so it was a good deal at the time, but I still remember constantly having to prove I was smart and having male students constantly patronize me (I remember one guy referred to me once as my boyfriend’s “golden shadow.” WTAF????). I shut all of them up by graduating top of my class as the valedictorian, but it’s only recently that I’ve realized how much emotional energy I had to put into just proving that I belonged there. I never received this attitude from the (mostly male, middle-aged, white) professors, interestingly.
        My cousin went to Smith, and in talking to her about her experience, I felt then and still feel that gave her *such* an advantage in not having to fight those battles all the time.

        1. ecnaseener*

          Yeah. I’m sure someone made this point in the comments the first time around, but I’m just now figuring out how to articulate it — the OP had such an attitude of “it’s not preparing you for the REAL WORLD,” with the underlying assumption that the only way to get prepared for a phenomenon (such as sexism) is to experience it directly, which just isn’t true. (I notice she didn’t seem to have a problem with the many other ways higher education is different from the “real world!”)

          1. Irish Teacher*

            And it isn’t even true that attending an all women’s college shields one from sexism. Students often have part-time jobs, they have families, they date, they go to movies, read books, have male lecturers… OK, they might not have male classmates talking over them in class or lecturers who prioritise the male point of view, but there are other forms of sexism.

            And if she thinks people who are shielded from any form of sexism are in need of cossetting, then…wouldn’t almost all cis men fall into that category? Yet, she didn’t seem to have any problem hiring men.

            And it’s not like avoiding sexism is the only way a person can be privileged or unfamiliar with the “real world” anyway.

      2. RetailEscapee*

        Yes!! This had gigantic “not like other girls” energy that made me angry at her and sad for her.

    4. MHC Alum*

      I completely missed that one because I was on my surgery clerkship, which had hours sadly not amenable to AAM browsing, but my blood is boiling so I’ll comment what I would have if I’d seen that post in real time:

      My Mt. Holyoke College experience was amazingly valuable, and I 100% would not be where I am today without it. I was pushed to expand my horizons both socially and academically, made deep, rich friendships (with women, nonbinary folks, and trans men!), and was supported in my journey to med school. I’m currently holding my own in a top 20 medical program alongside a slew of people who went to both Ivy leagues and state schools. I’ve heard every single one of these BS lines about women’s colleges/historically women’s colleges not preparing students for the real world, and they still drive me up a wall. Everyone I know from undergrad is killing it out in the real world, and like Alison mentioned, it’s backed up by the stats.

    1. Seeking Second Childhood*

      She joined in the comments. Scroll to the last comment at the very bottom of the comments section — thanks to All Het Up About It!

  3. an0n*

    I’m not checking right now, but I feel like previous years had more of an overlap between most viewed and most commented posts. Just interesting

    2. Seeking Second Childhood*

      I suspect some of that is because of reposts elseweb. I’ve seen other forums suggest links to this website for situations similar to letters to Alison. Those would lead to views after a comments section has closed.

  4. Grumble*

    My blood still boils at the C-suite’s response to the stealing intern. He was caught red handing shoving company property into his backpack and their response was “He’s a fine young man and we don’t want to bust up his confidence.” The commentariat at the time felt two ways about, both surrounding the Brock Turner case. One side felt his actions shouldn’t be equated to raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. I, and many others, see how the Brock Turners of the world are encouraged before the dumpster even comes into play.

    1. EPLawywer*

      Yep, yep, yep. I had the same thought. Oh we don’t want to destroy this privileged child’s confidence.

      Although come to think of it, being forced to attend seminars on professional norms for a MONTH would be painful.

    2. Cat Tree*

      I’m sure this was already discussed in the initial thread, but I have too assume the intern was white-presenting, and I’m doubtful that the same amount of grace would be extended to a POC.

      1. Myrin*

        The OP back then posted some very in-depth comments and confirmed that the intern was white but that indeed the C-suite behaved the same lenient way towards all employees (she mentioned a hispanic coworker who exhibited problematic behaviour before the intern ever came on board, for example) because they were obsessed with being seen as “cool bosses”.

    1. EPLawywer*

      Oh the bullied backbone one. There’s an update where the OP is STILL all Sally is a problem not me.

      1. Rachelnyc*

        There was a final one where she acknowledged that she was the problem and talked about going into therapy etc. to be fair, she really took the advice on board

        1. Catwhisperer*

          Does anyone have the link for the second update? It’s not linked to the first update or the original post, but I very clearly remember reading it and being shocked at everything OP left out of their original email, including that Sally recommended her for the job.

  6. Goldenrod*

    I had somehow missed the “I got in trouble for wearing the same dress every day” post. I can see why that was highly commented on! I got super mad reading that!! Was there ever an update?

    I can see why Alison questioned if this was the hill the LW wanted to die on….but for me, it WOULD be the hill I want to die on! I would wear that same dress eternally in response. I’d love to know how that one turned out.

    1. Fishsticks*

      Yeah, if my clothes are clean and I accessorize and otherwise keep it looking appropriate for the workplace, why the hell should anyone care if I’m wearing the same dress to the office? What if I just had multiples of one dress I really liked?

  7. The Eye of Argon*

    Oh, man, the pregnancy announcement debacle. One of my all-time favorites, not only because of the cluelessness and entitlement of the pee-stick thrower, but also to remind me that while my coworkers can drive me up a wall they could be way worse ;)

  10. Moonlight Elantra*

    I swear the 100-day dress post was a guerilla marketing tactic for wool&. I clicked that link and got targeted ads for those dresses for MONTHS afterward.

    1. Myrin*

      Adblockers are your friend!
      (Also, this got brought up in the original comment section as well and between this being a problem a lot of people could identify with and the well-observed phenomenon that whenever we get letters about clothes, people start hemming and hawing about how ~we simply can’t knooow~ what the item in question looks like, I personally appreciate people posting links.)

  11. Happily Retired*

    I’ll admit that I’m surprised that the Twitter employee’s original post and the update didn’t make the list. Maybe posts late in the calendar year are starting from behind the rest in terms of numbers of views.

    1. Roland*

      I suspect that high page views are from posts being shared more widely than the core group of AAM readers, and frankly there is so much content on Terrible Twitter that it’s probably hard to stand out.

    3. The Eye of Argon*

      Plus it happened fairly late in the year so there wasn’t as much time for it to spread around, unlike the others, which happened early or mid-year.

  12. Roland*

    Is the first list using most absolute page views, or most unique users? Doesn’t really matter, I’m just curious and it’s fun to speculate on why some posts only made one of the lists and not the other :)

    Thanks for another year of amazing posts!

  13. NotAnotherManager!*

    Gaston, his racist comments about the janitor winning the car raffle, and the complete failure of everyone involved to do no more than send an HR email about the drawing still makes my blood boil. God forbid one of the likely lowest-paid employees in the organization win something that likely makes a real difference in their family finances.

  14. ecnaseener*

    The pregnancy announcement post is an ask-the-readers question, I thought that excluded it from the most commented rankings?

    1. kr*

      I always thought that meant posts like ‘share your interview horror stories’ and not ‘a reader writes…’ letters but I could be mistaken.

      1. ecnaseener*

        I assume it means any post that starts with “It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question.”

  15. My Dear Wormwood*

    I’m amused to be reminded of the question about whether 2-week vacations are excessive – just yesterday I started planning a 3-weeker!

    1. allathian*

      Yeah, me too. Granted, I’m in Europe where whole countries pretty much shut down except for essential services in either July (Scandinavia) or August. I work for a governmental agency in Finland and while we don’t stop working completely and people do stagger their vacations, no new initiatives are taken between mid-June and late August. Everything is just kept ticking over. The same thing applies during the Christmas season, between approx. December 23 and January 6 (12th Night, a holiday here when it’s a weekday).

  16. Silly Janet*

    The post about the child being left in the car is one of the few posts I commented on this year, and I stand by what I said then that CPS should have been called.

    And in case it comes up, calling CPS does NOT mean a child is taken away immediately. The first step is typically to find out if an investigation is even warranted- sometimes it is advising the caller about if a call is even necessary. The next step would be to meet with or talk to the caregivers and give advice support and direct them to resources. The child being taken away is usually a last resort, unless the child is in imminent danger.

    I’m sympathetic to the mother, and can’t begin to imagine what led her to do that. But I also don’t want to imagine what could have happened to the baby.

    I hope everyone in that scenario is doing better.

  17. goddessoftransitory*

    I remember the guy with the inappropriate coworker relationship where it was SO TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE; to the point where I wondered if it was a trolling fake letter. How could anyone write that down and go yeah, it’s my wife that’s got the problem?

  18. Mark*

    Not only would I not even notice that a co-worker wore the same clothes many days in a row, I wouldn’t care.

  19. Yowza*

    OMFG I missed the women’s college letter the first time around. Jeeeeeez. I gotta be honest, I don’t need to hear from that OP again.

  20. Fishsticks*

    I think about that thing with the new hire being a different person than the interviewee all the time, I really do. The idea that that was a thing absolutely blew my mind. Plus, the sheer audacity it takes to just barrel through your first few days hoping no one says anything…

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