it’s your Friday good news

by Alison Green on July 28, 2023

It’s your Friday good news!

I wanted to send in a good news update of my own! I am self employed so I never really thought I would have anything applicable. But after reading this letter and her update, I realized I now do!

I co-own a business that my partner and I had been running on autopilot. We were doing the absolute least. We were not organized. We were not hiring the appropriate professional support (accountant, etc). We were basically acting as if we were somehow 1099 contractors, except for our own selves. This, predictably, hit the end of its useful life. When I read the LW linked above and especially her update I got chills. If she could do it, I could do it! My business now has the appropriate professional support, appropriate tax advice, appropriate boundaries, appropriate structure and defined roles … we’re running really well. It has also helped me get my personal life in order and my finances are now organized to the point where I will be closing on my first home this month.

I have learned a lot about myself, my field, my partner, my values … so much. I am now much more effective professionally. I don’t think I’d ever realized the degree to which my willy-nillyness and my dearth of self respect intersected before I read that letter and update. Once I was inspired to take control I began to see myself as Real. Before, I saw myself as somehow cosplaying a (Job Title), but not actually being legitimate enough to really be one (despite being in my field for 13 years and doing this particular work for 8 years). The incredible amount of self respect I’ve grown over the last few months has been unreal. I am on the up and up, my business is on the up and up, and my partner and I are planning to expand to add a position within the next year. I have been pursuing more and more training and education and feeling more confident to implement the training and education into my work. I have actively sought out even more opportunities for training and education.

I feel proud of myself instead of ashamed. I don’t know what I thought would happen if I admitted I was in over my head (I would go to bad girl jail? I don’t know) or if I had to share the behind the scenes truth with anyone … but whatever it was, it did not happen. I hope someone somewhere reads this and feels more empowered to take control over something in their own life. I now have real achievements, real hopes, and real goals for myself and this business. I used to tell people I am self-employed because I am unemployable. Now I tell people I co-own a  business doing (exactly what we do). It feels amazing.

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{ 25 comments }

{ 25 comments… read them below }

  1. Observer*

    I used to tell people I am self-employed because I am unemployable. Now I tell people I co-own a business doing (exactly what we do). It feels amazing.

    This gave me the chills. I am SO glad you got out of that space and into a MUCH healthier one.

    1. The Happy Graduate*

      Right? I honestly teared up a little reading this, especially with that ending, because it’s just such a truly lovely thing to see someone realize their self-worth to this extent!

    2. Thin Mints didn't make me thin*

      What a great update! Take a moment and pat yourself on the back, OP. You did good.

    3. Kes*

      Yeah that line really shows the difference in attitude and it’s such a dramatic 180 but so great both for OP to actually realize their own worth and value themself (and regularly reinforce that worth rather than that lack of worth) and to stop essentially anti-marketing themself. TBH I don’t even know what I’d say if someone told me the first line. The second one is honestly so much better and it’s literally just the truth.

      I recently read a book called How Women Rise which talks about common habits women have that hold them back in their career and the first one is literally this – reluctance to claim their accomplishments, whether through lack of belief in themselves or socialisation not to self-promote (along with another habit, minimizing themselves). So glad OP was able to move past this and recognize and acknowledge and own their own worth and achievements.

  2. Dana Lynne*

    This is fantastic. And I am so glad you have changed your story about yourself. Congratulations!

  3. Neonwaffles*

    Love this letter OP! As a fellow self employed entrepreneur with limited management experience (and even limited coworking experience). AAM has been so helpful in learning ‘How Business is Done’.

    I used to joke ‘My boss (me) doesn’t know what she’s doing’ but after creating systems, doing the work and getting the business lined out legally, financially and professionally I’ve definitely respected and invested in myself and my work more. Way to go!

  4. Harriet Vane*

    I am so happy for you!! And the “Bad Girl Jail” really resonates. What happens when we admit we aren’t perfect?

  5. Hermione Danger*

    This makes me BEYOND happy for the OP. What an amazing discovery, but in particular, kudos to them for not only realizing the work could–and needed to–be done, but also for having the determination to do it. That can be difficult and sometimes scary work, but they did it and are now seeing real rewards in their self-esteem AND their business. Congratulations, OP! This is wonderful!

  6. Bookworm*

    Love this letter, OP! I’m SO glad you went through all of that: some people do exactly what you did and hire staff…while doing the absolute least. And it shows. So it’s really awesome you’ve actually had this realization, since so many don’t. Congratulations and thank you for sharing this with us!!

  7. TootsNYC*

    I don’t know what I thought would happen if I admitted I was in over my head (I would go to bad girl jail? I don’t know) or if I had to share the behind the scenes truth with anyone … but whatever it was, it did not happen.

    I think a lot of people get this sort of thing going on in their head, about lots of things.

  8. I take tea*

    This update made me so happy. I sometimes think I spend too much time reading AAM, I’m after all not in the US, but I just love seeing how good advice can spread and make an impact on many people. To learn what and when to delegate and outsource is very important. (I’m not good at this myself, but working on it.)

  9. Damn it, Hardison!*

    This is such a lovely update! Congratulations on all that you have accomplished!

  10. A Girl Named Fred*

    “I hope someone somewhere reads this and feels more empowered to take control over something in their own life.”

    Consider this hope achieved, LW, because this letter came out at the perfect time to give me some hope and a much-needed kick in the pants to believe in myself to take whatever next step in life I decide on. Wishing you and your partner the best!

    1. Quinalla*

      Seriously, same here! Thanks so much for sharing this, I love to see anyone, but especially women, step up and own their power. I took a big step in leadership myself today and I was terrified and excited and it went great, so it was wonderful to come here and read this and be able to channel it into thinking similar things about myself.

  11. Lissa Evans*

    You have no idea how much I needed to read this today, and to realize that my own sense of self-worth is impacting the choices I make, and how much I can change it all if I also take the reins and begin to believe I am “real” too!

  13. iamthelola*

    As a small business owner myself, getting ready to embark on this same journey, I herby nominate this for “best friday good news post”

  15. Claire New*

    What a powerful story. Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your insights and it’ll have an impact on my own trajectory.

  16. BottledPoetry*

    Can’t wait to share this letter with my therapist next time we talk about perfectionism and self love. You should be so proud of yourself!!

  17. NeedRain47*

    No matter your field, this kind of ability to work toward fulfilling your own needs and wants, even when it includes needing help, is absolutely priceless! Go OP!

  19. Lizard Breath*

    I really love the willingness of the original LW and this one to do some self-examination about their business skills and commit to making improvements without shame. This is a lesson that so many of us could apply to many aspects of our lives.

  20. stk*

    Oh this is LOVELY. I think your story will resonate hard with a lot of people, LW. Thank you!

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