{ 218 comments… read them below }

      1. Lizzo*

        What about the sandwich that hit the boss in the butt and left a stain on her dryclean-only skirt? Need a recipe for that projectile.

    2. You want stories, I got stories*

      I’ve never read this story before. I feel like my life is a bit more complete now.

      Quack quack.

      2. Legally Brunette*

        +1

        Motion to nominate the blogger to get cracking on this! Because we ALL need Duck Club Sandwiches and Cheap (Human) Ass Rolls in our lives.

        2. Expelliarmus*

          Some other things to add:

          Usurper Cranberries
          That chocolate cake with cherry pie filling someone made that resulted in their coworker making inappropriate moans when eating it
          The blood orange curd tart made by a Jewish OP who was hassled by an interviewer about baking-induced scars

      3. Festively Dressed Earl*

        That reminds me that I still need to try the non-traditional bread pudding. And I still wish we’d gotten the blood orange tart from the LW with the interviewer who was “triggered” by baking scars.

      4. GhostGirl*

        Submitting request for a committee to comb through all comments and find recipes that have been posted over the years, and create a cookbook.

    3. Quinalla*

      This is so amazing! Normally I wouldn’t make a post like this, but have to register my delight :)

      1. Deborah*

        The thing about the cupcakes is, they aren’t even the point of the letter. They are just a side detail. This is a True Fan.

      1. TJ Morrison*

        I was expecting Cheap-ass rolls, but this was even better. It was one of the times when you can move the hyphen to the right, not just in your head, but in writing: Cheap ass-rolls!!!

    3. SurlyAF*

      I never imagined that cheap ass rolls could be more hilarious, but this genius did it!

      Somehow I had missed the original “fold in the salsa” story, but from now on I’ll be folding in salsa as well as cheese.

      1. Throwaway Account*

        OMG, I think about that more than I should!

        Do you know the song, “You can’t eat at everybody house”?
        I’ll put a link in a reply

    4. datamuse*

      I’ll make some cookies and hang them off a stuffed dog (but I’ll put them in ziplocs so they can actually be eaten)!

      1. Frickityfrack*

        I can’t believe you would do this to me! Cranberry sauce is MY thing!

        Ok, no, I DO make cranberry sauce every year but it’s because I’m very lazy and it’s so easy to make. All of my coworkers texted me the morning of Thanksgiving to ask me how I make it and it was like, “um cranberries, oj, and as much sugar as you like, cook it until you personally feel that it’s done?”

        1. 3DogNight*

          I had no OJ, so used pineapple juice this year, was AMAZING! Try it. I think for Christmas I’m going to do the pineapple again, but use brown sugar instead of white. And call it dessert, LOL

        2. Violin squeaks*

          My family thinks I’m trying to upstage them by making homemade cranberry sauce and I just…. IT COULDNT BE EASIER

        3. Old Woman in Purple*

          I believe the situation dictates that there be MULTIPLE versions of cranberry sauce. After all, one can’t have an USURPER without an ORIGINAL, right?

  10. Reading While Working*

    You know you read too much Ask A Manager when you get every single reference! GREAT JOB!!

    2. I heart bacon*

      Knew every reference and TOTALLY wanted to go to this Thanksgiving! Honestly, the best Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever seen. =)

    4. Iconic Bloomingdale*

      I know, right? I knew all of the references and then scrolled back to the beginning of the blog to make sure I hadn’t missed any.

      lol

    1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      Especially because the recipe was adapted to be human butt rolls. I about died at that point.

  13. Andy*

    I love this party theme and I love this site and now I get to love them both.
    What a golden age in which we live. Blessings, truly.

      1. Leems*

        She’s local-ish to me! Marc Heu Patisserie is an absolute must if you happen to be in the St. Paul, MN metro.

        1. Patisserie aficionado*

          IKR! As I was scrolling down, I spotted that as Marc Heu’s work immediately and knew she must be local. I was both amazed and not surprised to be right. His bakery is so sublimely good. AMA readers: come to Minnesota and eat at Marc Heu.

        2. Amesip*

          I’ll admit I was just skimming the blog and didn’t notice that they bought it. It makes sense though, lol. I wouldn’t know where to even begin to make something like that! I don’t live in the area, so I’ll just have to look at their website and dream of fancy patisserie.

  15. Wow, really?*

    That was hilarious, and I love how their partner was supportive about it. And the rolls! I also loe that links to each Ask a Manager post are included.

  17. CommanderBanana*

    I LOVE IT.

    The only thing that could make it even more AAM is if someone cut in line at the buffet and took all of something with their bare hands while having a meltdown about not winning the salsa competition, or whatever. :D

    1. Magenta Sky*

      And there needs to be an email afterwards telling everyone they’re expected to apologize – you know who you are.

    2. Part time lab tech*

      I googled hand salad tongs after I read that. Do you know they make bare hand bones serving spoons?

  20. Kate*

    This is so creative and delightful, and I also love that the menu is mostly breadstuffs, dessert and snacks (and dessert-ish drinks)! What a great feast!

  22. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

    Okay but tell me more about that delicious looking loaf of bread back there! Is that the cider bread? I want deets.

    1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      Yeah I was all oh the partner wants the cider bread with maple butter included — sounds fair.

  23. Rage*

    This is brilliant.

    At my Friends-giving this year, there were Hawaiian rolls and, without thinking, I yelled: “YES! CHEAP-ASS ROLLS!”

    And everyone stared at me.

  25. Arts Akimbo*

    I can’t quite remember the birthday cake one, where the too-fancy cake was interpreted as crossing a line, and tumblr keeps throwing up a pop-up before I can click on the link! My site search efforts have failed me– can anyone help me out?

    1. Scout Finch*

      Search for Is a new hire crossing boundaries with my husband on the site.

      If I post the link, it will go into moderation.

  28. Mostly Managing*

    I have a new goal in life. :)

    Christmas is going to be weird this year, and I think I’m going to just quietly do as many aam dishes as possible, without telling the extended family. it will be my own private joke for me, and it will help preserve what little sanity i have left!

    1. The Prettiest Curse*

      Since fruitcake as Christmas cake is apparently going out of fashion, now is your opportunity to inflict an eternal fruitcake named Philippe on your friends and family!

    2. tangled tinsel*

      it’s not even the best cake he produces. he’s the best french pastry chef in st paul tho diane moua definitely gives him a run for his money

  31. nothanks*

    Your website isn’t blocked on my secure workplace server, but Tumblr is. I wish there was a summary in the text, or some photos included, as opposed to just a link. Accessibility issues make me sad.

      1. justcommentary*

        Yeah, an accessibility issue would be Alison not warning for strobing GIFs or something similar? If you weren’t at work, then this wouldn’t be a problem. The post itself doesn’t have alt text which is also an accessibility issue, but not one that’s in Alison’s control or her responsibility.

        I guess in the literal, most technical, non-disability related sense, the post isn’t accessible for people with unrestricted internet access but that’s not what people generally mean by that.

  32. Going Anon and On*

    Argh! My employer blocks Tumblr. I’ll have to wait until I get home to see it. Now I’m gonna spend the rest of the day staring at the clock.

  33. Elizabeth West*

    Omg that is fantastic! Bookmarking as soon as I’m on my personal laptop.
    Duck club sandwiches, hahahaha

    I love her little Pusheen drink glasses.

    1. H.Regalis*

      Same re: Pusheen glasses! I love those. If I didn’t have a teeny, tiny kitchen with minimal cabinet space, I’d get them.

  38. badatnames*

    Loving the Twin Cities representation! I’m not this cool, but I’m glad my state can bring it.

  39. Laufey*

    Okay, but now I need to know if the cupcake bribery car alarm OP and No Mas Pantalones ever got married.

  41. ursula*

    I for one am proud to be studied like an amoeba in a petri dish by a community of nosy, lurking writers.

  55. RetiredAcademicLibrarian*

    My favorite part of the dinner was the Partner’s response to the alcoholic beverage – “After dinner, they lay down on the floor and sang the Slippery Fish song.”

    I don’t even know what the Slippery Fish song is and it made me laugh.

  60. Anne Shirley*

    I am beyond delighted there were cheap-ass rolls. How could there NOT be?!

    Incidentally, I screenshot that letter and keep it in an emergency “folder of laughs” when I am in dire need of a chuckle.

  63. SHEILA, the co-host*

    How could you leave me, the co-host who did nothing, and left 10 minutes after the party started to have extracurricular time with my affair partner, out! I am outraged! /s

  65. Momma Bear*

    This is fantastic! I knew the rolls had to be there, but I liked the other selections, too. And the description of the partner after partaking in the mudslides. Thank you for sharing, OP!

  66. quercus*

    Looking at them, it appears they’re not actually cheap-ass rolls, but rather cheap ass-rolls (or you could say artisanally crafted ass-rolls)

    (Brough to you by Ask a Manager/XKCD crossover week! https://xkcd.com/37/ )

  68. Mireas*

    Oh wow!

    This was brilliant on so many levels! (I too, would do more work in service of a pun. Cheap-ass rolls, indeed!).

  71. Aelswitha*

    This is amazing. As is the “girls love chocolate” story, and if you somehow missed that – which I had – you should absolutely go there.

  72. L.H. Puttgrass*

    Also: This was the first I’d heard about Duck Club. Reading about that has made my day. So thanks.

  75. Fish Microwaver*

    I couldn’t finish the article because of a pop up. what i want to know is were there Usurper Cranberries?

  80. VP of Monitoring Employees' LinkedIn Profiles**

    I would add a plate of chopped liver in honor of “Liver Boss” (the one who fired employees who were unable or unwilling to test for compatibility as a liver donor for his brother).

  81. Ex-prof*

    I never read the Christmas Party with the Magician tale before! It’s so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes.

    Also, why didn’t I end up working at the School District That Has Banquets With Mudslides instead of the School District Where You Could Be Fired for Drinking In Your Own House?

    (It was in a dry town and, yes, they meant it.)

  82. Colorado*

    I love this! My favorite letter ever is the magician at the piano, and of course who doesn’t love cheap ass rolls. Thanks for making me laugh!

  85. Still*

    You’d think that it would be difficult to plan an entire dinner based on a work-advice blog, but actually it seems to be the opposite – I can think of a whole bunch of dishes that didn’t make the list, like the rum balls or a roast chicken torn apart with bare hands. Who knew food was such a huge part of the workplace!

  89. So many questions...*

    OMG I want to be their best friend! This is literally the best thing I’ve seen this year. Wins the internet!

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