update: my boss is blocking my move to a new team

by Alison Green on December 14, 2023

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss was blocking their move to a new team (#5 at the link)? Here’s the update.

I have a very happy update to my question from almost exactly a year ago.

Things got much worse before they got better. They promised me a promotion, which got enthusiastically approved by the VP and then, inexplicably, blocked by that immediate manager (let’s call her Broomhilda). I transferred to the other team, which was great, and the new boss was a wonderful ally… but she was blocked too and eventually pushed out of the company. That promised promotion floated around many times over the course of a year but although I pushed and pushed I was apparently at a stalemate. A more junior colleague got a promotion, so she was then higher up than me, but when I pushed back on this, Broomhilda coldly told me that it would happen for me … at some vague time in the future, but not now, despite my stellar performance reviews. She did not even tell me this face-to-face, but in a video call while she was driving so all I saw was her chin. I had to push for WEEKS to even get this meeting to get clarity.

The last straw was when they told me that I would need to start coming back full-time to the office. As a primary parent with two young kids, eight hours a week in commuting time was a no-go. I kinda shrugged and continued to work from home regardless, waiting for the shoe to drop … which it did two months later. The worst part — the day that they sent me an email telling me that I would need to start coming in full-time as of the next day, I was called into my boss’s office to tell me the GREAT NEWS — they were giving me that promotion I wanted, the one that had been promised a full year before. Clearly they were not expecting my lackluster response. I told her I would need to think about it as I was not sure I would even be staying with the company. I wanted so badly to quit with a million guns blazing, but decided not to burn my bridges and was civil as I told them that I was going to be moving on. The severance they gave me was enough to fund a few months of freelancing as a stopgap. (Or so I thought.)

The day before I launched my company, I got a contract. And then another. And another. Just from word of mouth, from people I had worked with in the past. I am working 25-30 hours a week, booked 4-6 weeks out, and making more than when I was employed full-time, and my career mojo is way up again! It’s been almost six months and I am happier and more fulfilled than I have been in many years! My days are varied and there is almost zero drudge work (because what company wants to pay a high hourly salary for that?).

The “whipped cream and cherry on top” satisfying ending is that my old boss called me and offered me my old job back — fully remote. I told them sorry, that I was making too much money and having too much success to be willing to go back, that they could no longer afford me. They asked me if I was able to freelance and I got to tell them that I was pretty fully booked until at least the holidays but I could possibly free up a day here or there for them — in a month.

And guess what? In my new company, my boss respects me and treats me like a superstar. She gets me coffee, lets me leave whenever I want, even work from bed if I want to. I have been nominated for Employee of the Month EVERY month since I started. (OK, granted I’m my own boss and the sole employee, but still, killing it 🙂)

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{ 54 comments }

{ 54 comments… read them below }

  4. Pastor Petty Labelle*

    Wow, my boss argues with me when I want time off.* I need a better boss.

    Congratulations OP, so glad it worked out for you.

    *also self-employed.

    1. Avery*

      Hah! I’m not self-employed, but my work is so flexible (and my anxiety so… present) that I think I’m harsher on myself about taking time off than my actual boss is!

    2. STAT!*

      My stupid boss has problems paying me all the money I am owed by clients for the work I have done. She’s too scared to invoice them, apparently.*

      Also congratulations from me, OP.

      * also self-employed

  5. Michelle Smith*

    This is such a satisfying update!! I am THRILLED for you and wish you a lifetime of continued happiness and success!!

  6. Raia*

    What am awesome update!! I dream of the day I can tell a boss “I’ve been too successful, I can’t go back to your company”.

  7. Sara without an H*

    I wish more managers realized this — treat your high performers well, because they have other options. And blocking internal transfers is especially short-sighted.

    Congratulations, LW, and here’s to more success in the new year!

    1. OrdinaryJoe*

      Yes! Why more mangers don’t understand this very basic fact is beyond me. Short-sighted is an excellent description.

    2. Observer*

      I wish more managers realized this — treat your high performers well, because they have other options. And blocking internal transfers is especially short-sighted.

      Yes! This comes up every time someone writes in about this. I get the impulse to try to wring more out of your best performers while spending resources on others you’re trying to get up to speed. But it’s stupid and self defeating. All you wind up doing is losing the people who are most valuable.

  8. Magenta Sky*

    “. . . they could no longer afford me.”

    That is one of the most awesome updates I’ve ever seen.

  9. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

    Hahahaha! I never cease to be amazed at people who let opportunity slip through their fingers and then they try to still do the thing they needed to do a year ago. But wait, *now* we’re willing to be flexible! And promote you! Too little, too late, friends.

    Congratulations on your success.

  10. HugeTractsofLand*

    Congratulations! It can be scary to switch to freelance work, but I’m so happy to hear that it’s working out for you. It’s especially satisfying that all your new customers are ones that you earned with your previous hard work! I hope your new boss gives you an end-of-year bonus :)

  16. Sloanicota*

    My favorite thing about working for myself was mandatory period leave. Every month there was a full day allocated in the budget for that; only pajamas, advil and staying in bed. What a great boss I had back then :D

  17. Dovasary Balitang*

    The whole blocking transfers and promotions thing gives me such Whistleblower/Uber vibes.

    I’m glad everything worked out for you, LW!

  18. MEH Squared*

    LOVE this update, OP. So glad you came out like a champ at the end. It had to be satisfying to tellyour former boss, “You can’t afford me”, and your last paragraph had me grinning like a fool. So pleased for you!

  20. Ink*

    The prophecy of Allison’s response- bad companies/managers never predict that blocking someone’s advancement will just make them leave the company entirely- in action. If I was the junior employee being promoted and knew you/your work fairly well, I wouldn’t be feeling very attached at staying at that company, either… but I’m sure that’ll be a surprise too if they leave, regardless of any warning signs someone rents a billboard to try to show them.

  25. duinath*

    …in the immortal words of jojo:

    Go find someone else
    In letting you go, I’m loving myself
    You got a problem
    But don’t come asking me for help
    ‘Cause you know
    It’s just too little too late
    A little too wrong, and I can’t wait

    (congrats op!)

  26. Mad Mac*

    There can never be too many folks raving about a satisfying, glorious update. Wooooohooooo and many congrats to you, OP! Thank you for all the vicarious but utterly palpable joy you’ve given me, and I hope this kind of success is just the beginning.

  28. Colin Watson*

    As somebody who’s just quit a long-time job and is about to go freelance, this was a joy to read!

  30. Chauncy Gardener*

    “And guess what? In my new company, my boss respects me and treats me like a superstar. She gets me coffee, lets me leave whenever I want, even work from bed if I want to. I have been nominated for Employee of the Month EVERY month since I started. (OK, granted I’m my own boss and the sole employee, but still, killing it )”

    I love this SO very much!! You go!!

  33. Leave hummus alone*

    I am SO HAPPY for you, OP!! You really made my day. Best of luck for your thriving new business!

  34. Jennifer C.*

    I was recently in a situation very similar to LW’s situation. My great-grandboss blocked me from transferring to another department that I passionately wanted to transfer to.

    It may have been because I was extremely good at my current job, but no one ever told me that. My boss would tell me I was doing a good job about once a year, but that was all the internal feedback I ever got. (I know that I did a good job because my clients and industry colleagues raved about me.)

    Anyway, after being blocked from transferring with no explanation, I told everyone who would listen that I was going to leave the company if I couldn’t transfer. No one seemed to care. I got a better job and left.

    This was about 6 months ago and I’m still angry & heartbroken that (in addition to not being allowed to transfer) I was never told “sorry, you’re too valuable in your position for us to let you transfer” and never got even a half-hearted “oh no, please don’t leave…”

    1. Warm hugs from internet stranger*

      I’m so sorry to hear that you are still angry and heartbroken!
      After decades of working in corporates and hearing so many stories from brilliant overworked coworkers over the years, my conclusion is that most managers do not give a damn about their employees. They are only there to make their own life easier.

      Your only ‘problem’ was that you were too good for them to let you go to the other department. You need to forgive yourself for trusting this company that they will do the right thing. Find a therapist and maybe that may help you move on with your life.

      Never go into any job thinking this is my next permanent place. Go in there thinking – let me see if this is a good fit for me, if not I’m out in 2 yrs time, looking for a better place. (And if its toxic, the 2 yr role can be thrown out the window)

    1. econobiker*

      While it sounds like that she got a severance for quitting, it was probably more like she was (finally!!!!) offered the “often promised promotion” and also full time return to office (versus working remote) or they would let her go. And then she chose the “letting me go” option.

      I had a relative whose job was “re-engineered” by a new manager to become a different job title, essentially just a minor reduction in the same responsibilities as they previously had, and a significant reduction in pay. My relative was given time to consider accepting/rejecting the change in job title/pay and decided not to take it. She was given a notice period, assisted in “training” the replacement person (who was a buddy of the new manager), and was given a severance upon being let go. That new manager was never let in on the joke punch line that my relative was going to eventually quit the job anyway within 6 months. She and her husband’s children were now all grown up, out of college, college bills paid off, and had left home so she and her husband were selling their house to downsize and could survive one income with the profits from the house sale by living in a small condominium. The new manager’s position “reengineering” just accelerated her exit from that workplace 4 months sooner with the bonus of a severance package that, combined with unemployment benefit payments, pretty much made up for the missed 4 months of salary. Oh and that person was my mother so I saw it happen first hand!

  37. econobiker*

    Funny how that demand to return to the office full time could be removed when they really needed the OP and offered her the position back.

  38. heartwarmed*

    >>>I told them sorry, that I was making too much money and having too much success to be willing to go back, that they could no longer afford me.

    LOVE IT!!!

  40. Kenneth*

    My manager at a previous job also kept moving the goal posts on a promotion to the point where I just concluded it wasn’t ever happening, at least not with that manager. And at the time, the company had a policy where your manager had to approve team transfers as well – though you could appeal if they refused. But I still liked the work I was doing, so I just… chugged along until I saw a good chance to jump ship.

    Which happened after an annual review where he heavily implied I went rogue on a project.

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