how can I stay in touch with former coworkers?

by Alison Green on October 30, 2024

A reader asks:

I’ve been working for a while with a senior colleague who has been amazing — knowledgeable, supportive, and patient. He recently moved on from my organization. When he left, he told me to keep in touch.

I’d love to keep in touch but have no idea what to say! I feel like the standard advice is to send relevant articles and say why I think they would be interesting to him, but he’s moved to a different industry and is more than 10 years senior to me. Should I just reach out and ask him how the move went and how the new job is? How do I follow up after that? What are the best ways to stay in touch with colleagues in general, once you no longer work together?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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{ 18 comments }

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Former Retail Lifer*

    I “stay in touch” with former colleagues through LinkedIn. Liking or commenting on their posts here and there reminds them that I still exist. That way, when I have a reason to finally email them, it’s not like it came out of the blue.

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    1. Annie*

      this is the major reason I use LinkedIn…to stay connected with folks I used to work with. I’m late career now.

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    2. High Score!*

      Yep, LinkedIn is a self updating rolodex. I know some people hate it but the platform is valuable for keeping in touch, checking references of candidates, finding jobs and people to do them, and keeping up with relevant news in your field.

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  2. Caramel & Cheddar*

    Honestly, I feel like this is where something like LinkedIn could serve you well if they’re someone who uses it at least semi-regularly. Most of us don’t stay at one workplace our entire careers anyway, so when either you or they move to a new org, you’ll want to stay on top of where they are anyway, so why not use this as part of keeping in touch?

    I don’t even think “keeping in touch” needs to be a professional update or an annual coffee, it could just be commenting on their LinkedIn post when they announce a new role or share an interesting article. A quick reminder that you exist and are still interested in keeping up to date on their activity, without it necessarily becoming a Big Thing where now you have to find time to schedule coffee or whatever.

    This is more dicey, but I’ve definitely added past colleagues and even managers to social media when we no longer work together. Instagram is the safest one where I do that in terms of how I use it (nothing that could be considered even remotely interesting/risque), but the same applies re: commenting on or liking posts. Oh, you’ve just come back from a restorative trip to Costa Rica? Like. You’re presenting at the Llama Grooming Conference? Comment. Etc.

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  3. HonorBox*

    I think it depends somewhat on how close you were while working. If your relationship was one you’d consider more friendly, treat it as such. If it is someone with whom you were close from a work standpoint, an email every now and again to check in makes sense. If you can pick their brain about something, or share an accomplishment, that’s a good entry point.

    I worked with/for (they were on a board of an org I worked for) a couple of people for whom I have incredible respect. They treated me very well, offered great advice, helped me in my career, etc. And when I moved on (to a different job and state) the offer was made to stay in touch. We’ve touched base every now and again electronically, and when I’ve been back in the original area, I’ve invited them to grab coffee or a drink. It has never been weird and we’ve picked up right where we left off, filling in gaps about things that have happened in the interim. But it is always nice to reconnect.

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  4. Curious*

    I liked the answer but did wonder could the question be “What can I do to guarantee that if I contact them, they will they respond?”

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  5. Heather*

    I have received messages from former employees and coworkers via LinkedIn occasionally as a follow up to a post or on the anniversary of a role or a promotion. Think of it like waving to a neighbor. You keep in touch casually so that when/if you need a cup of sugar (reference, connection, etc.) it isn’t so awkward to ask or reach out to them.

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  6. Glad I Don't Work There*

    A good idea in general is separately (and non-obviously) to save addresses, phone numbers, etc. of people in your company. If you leave for any reason, you probably won’t have access to the former company directory any longer.

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  7. Sam*

    People will say “keep in touch” to colleagues they liked but I have never known anyone to actually want to keep in touch. If he wants to keep in touch he will reach out to you.

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    1. Jessica Clubber Lang*

      In this letter the LW is the one who wants to keep in touch. It’s fine to send an email or LI message or similar.

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  8. Slow Gin Lizz*

    I keep in touch with my former manager, who was wonderful and who I worked with very closely, via text. Nowadays, that’s a more acceptable form of communication with former coworkers than it used to be, I think. Months go by and I don’t hear from her, but when one of us texts the other we usually have a nice little back and forth and it’s lovely and cheers me up. She’s got three small kids (and the twins were barely a year old when I left that job) so sometimes she sends me cute kiddo photos and I love it. Hoping to get a Halloween costume pic tomorrow, and if I don’t, I might text on Fri to ask for one.

    Anyway, my point being that I feel like it actually makes more sense to share life updates with former colleagues than work talk (or articles, as this OP was asking about), unless of course you and your former colleague never talked about anything but work. But even in that case, I also don’t love the “send articles” idea, because if former colleague is still in your field it’s likely he’s seen the article already if it’s a big deal. In that case, you could say, “Hey Bob, did you see that article about XX? Wonder what your thoughts about it are” or whatever. But OP’s thoughts on asking Bob about his move and new job are more in line with what I think keeping in touch with former colleagues is about.

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    1. Filosofickle*

      I’ve always been a reluctant texter, but this is a good example of where it (or LinkedIn messaging) works really well and why I’m coming around to using it for work. With an email I feel like I have to send something substantial, more than a few words and ideally adding some meaningful content. It feels formal and like a Big Deal. (And that assumes they even check email.) But a text or message can be a few words — hey, how’s x going? — and it’s more naturally interactive.

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  9. Bookworm*

    I think it really depends and on the context. I’ve mostly fallen out of with my co-workers (time, distance, all we had in common was the job, etc.) but I often keep in “touch” via Linkedin. Liking any updates they have, etc. For a few instances I’ll be on a personal social media with them but I mostly keep that with LinkedIn (lots of people leave various platforms for whatever reason, etc.).

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  10. ThursdaysGeek*

    Yeah, it’s time to set up another lunch with my former co-workers. Every month or two those who can meet do meet. For another job, we meet for breakfast.

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  11. EA*

    If your industry has annual conferences or events, reaching out to ask if the former coworker will be attending is a great way to connect.

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  12. Friday Hopeful*

    My 21 year old son has seemed to master this skill already. He often asks his professors and bosses from internships if they have time for a quick coffee (and makes an appointment when its convenient for them- i know he has also on occasion picked it up and brought it to their office also instead of meeting out), and no one has ever turned him down. I love that he is a people person and not afraid to network!

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  13. Lily Potter*

    A more general comment (not applicable to the OP): If someone in your company gets laid off but you were spared, reach out at least twice. First time within the first week (“sorry to hear that you got laid off”) and again about three months later (“hope you’re doing okay; let me know if I can help with referrals or resources”) If you know that they’ve gotten a new job, congratulate them immediately, of course. If you don’t hear back on either occasion, the laid off person doesn’t want future contact – but I’ll bet that they’ll appreciate it.

    I was laid off during Covid and had a number of these kind of “keep in touch” messages. Though they didn’t lead to further communication for the most part, I appreciated them tremendously. Also, you can bet that I initiated communication when a kind former co-worker got laid off a few years after it happened to me. What goes around, comes around…..

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  14. Seen Too Much*

    My feeling is, if you consider them a mentor, or someone whose opinion you value, you can, occasionally, reach out for their thoughts. I’m thinking about a time when you want to move up in your career, but are unsure about what step to take – or, if you are thinking about a new job outside your organization, do they think you would be a good fit.

    Or, let’s say, you move into a similar position to the one they had and you have an issue come up – you can always send an email or message saying “I have this situation and I was wondering if you ever came across something like this? If so, would you be willing to walk me through how you handled it?”

    If they say no, or are non-responsive, no big deal, keep to just liking their posts.

    Reply ↓

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