how can I tell if I’m a good manager?

by Alison Green on October 2, 2024

A reader writes:

I’ve recently started managing a team of several employees. While I love the work, I’m not oblivious to the fact I’m still very new at managing people and have lots of room to develop.

I once heard a speaker say that bad bosses are typically clueless about how they are perceived by their teams. Since employees don’t provide feedback in the same way a boss does, how can you actually tell how you are doing as a manager?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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{ 19 comments }

{ 19 comments… read them below }

  1. Katie Porter's Whiteboard*

    The best supervisor I ever had, and the kind of supervisor I try to be, would seek out feedback from their reports. And when they received feedback, they wouldn’t get upset but would instead discuss it with us and sometimes make changes to their processes. It was always easier to talk about a problem when they brought the issue up than it was to have unsolicited criticism.

  2. pally*

    A hiring manager told me she was the most liked manager in the company.

    Her evidence:
    (1) in the almost four years she’s worked at this company, no one who reports to her has quit.
    (2) people in other departments have mentioned to her that they wish they worked for her.

    As such, she felt inclined to be very choosy about whom she would hire. That hire would be very lucky to work for her, she explained.

    Oh gracious! I couldn’t get out of that interview fast enough.

    Thank you OP, for having the insight to strive to be a good manager.

    1. Cranky Old Bat*

      Just when I thought I couldn’t be surprised. I would never work for someone who said I would be lucky to do so.

    1. restingbutchface*

      I was just about to write this comment!

      Funnily enough, every manager who has boasted to me about their amazing managerial skills has turned out to be a nightmare. Like those people who have to tell you they’re an empath. No, you aren’t.

    3. the cat ears*

      it is a good sign but it’s not sufficient – I only mention this because I often see people express ideas to the effect of “the fact that you’re asking means you are” when someone says “how do I be a better ___”, and that is a great first step but there are still skills a person needs to learn if they want to follow through on their good intentions. So I’m glad we have this article.

  4. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    No is born to be a good manager, but many people already have traits which will set them up for success.
    – Listen to your Team, and listen to understand. Find out what is important to them, and how you can help them meet their personal goals.
    – Clearly outline expectations, and regularly touch base to make sure they understand the expectation. Ask questions of them if something doesn’t seem clear to them.
    – Manage poor performers/problem children up, or manage them out. Nothing drags down Team Morale more than a Manager who appears to tolerate sub-standard performance or bad behavior.
    – Be sure you are modeling the behaviors you want to see from your Team. Nothing is worse than a “Do as I say, not as I do” Manager.

    The fact the OP is asking the question shows they have a true desire to be a good Manager, and that is the first step in becoming one!

  5. SansaStark*

    This post is very timely for me. I’ve had a difficult few months and am second-guessing a lot of my decisions. These questions have left me more confident that I’m doing most things right and some tough decisions aren’t necessarily the symptom of a bigger problem with my approach to management.

  6. Peanut Hamper*

    My big four:

    1) Clear expectations
    2) Timely and appropriate feedback
    3) Consistency
    4) Proactive followup

  7. Zee*

    I’ve had 2 really good bosses and the defining characteristic for them both is their willingness to take suggestions from their employees and recognition of the fact that their employees are the experts in their specific job duties and that as boss they don’t know all the details.

    A lot of times my boss will say “let’s do X” and I’ll say “actually Y is better.” Sometimes she’ll ask me to justify that statement, and other times she’s just like “yeah okay I trust you on that.” Sometimes after I give reasons she’ll say “I hear you, but we’re still going to go with X” and that’s fine because it came at the end of a discussion and not a flat “we’re doing X because I said so and I’m the boss.”

    2. Katie Impact*

      404 for me too. Could be region-dependent, since the site seems to redirect you based on your location (I’m in Australia).

  9. Panda (she/her)*

    A great sign for me was when I changed jobs and someone who used to report to me came and joined my new team :)

  10. Fickle Pickle*

    Not relevant to the question, but is anyone else having trouble closing the ads? I used to be able to.

  11. Tony Howard*

    Every year, I would send out an anonymous survey to my team of direct reports asking them to rank me on a scale of 1-10 on a variety of leadership characteristics, management skills , etc. The survey results would be compiled by my executive assistant , who would only provide me with the final scores : ie, effective listening 6.7, honest communication 7.8, fair evaluations 8.3 , etc. Using the survey results helped me to focus on weak areas needed for improvement; although I do remember one year saying rather tempestuously “I know I don’t listen well, and I’m tired of hearing about it!” LOL

  12. Pescadero*

    When management is screwing employees – be honest about it. If you can’t do anything to fix the problem – admit it, and admit it sucks. Don’t cover for higher ups.

    …and don’t blow smoke up your employees butt’s about it, or try to sugarcoat crap as something positive.

  13. Having a Scrummy Week*

    How to be a good manager:

    1 ) Be authentic and honest while remaining diplomatic. Most employees realize that you are balancing their priorities with those of management, and sometimes those two conflict. Be straightforward and transparent in both directions.

    2 ) Give genuine, casual feedback to your employees, and ask for the same in return. Don’t wait until the annual review to bring up problems and praise – talk about them right away and give your employees clear paths to improvement and success. Unless it’s something severe like stealing or sexual harassment, always give employees fair warning that their performance is being scrutinized before deciding to let them go. It is cruel and also lowers team morale to see colleagues whimsically fired, especially when they were seemingly doing their jobs.

    3 ) Always give credit where credit is due. Amplify employee’s voices and ideas while tempering expectations about whether those ideas will be implemented.

    4 ) Do not create a pattern of cancelling or moving your 1:1s. It makes people feel nervous and/or neglected. Reserve that time for your employees, have a loose agenda, and show up with some enthusiasm. Nothing is worse than a disinterested manager.

    5 ) Insist on having achievable growth and development plans for each employee. Some of us want to climb, others just want to learn and stay mostly in our comfort zones. Both are okay – meet employees where they are and find opportunities for them to join projects or receive training in areas of interest.

    6 ) If you find that you aren’t a good manager and dislike managing people, ask your superiors if you can switch back to an IC role. Please.

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