succeeding at work if you’re neurodivergent

by Alison Green on October 24, 2024

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:

I have ADHD and learning disabilities. I suspect I have autism too. I just got into a new manager position. With the amount of disabilities I have, it’s amazing how far I made it.

As I look for advice for succeeding in the workplace as a neurodivergent, all I keep finding is advice to buy noise canceling headphones, fidget toys, and blue light blocking glasses. It’s not very helpful.

Would it be possible to have a post where neurodivergents can share any helpful tips and hacks for the workplace?

Yes indeed. Let’s use the comment section on this post. Readers who aren’t neurodivergent, please hang back on this one.

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{ 553 comments }

{ 553 comments… read them below }

  1. ElizabethJane*

    Find a project tracking system that works for you for keeping track of your direct reports.

    Personally I use Google slides and I have a deck for reach report (I only have 2) and then a slide for each week of meetings. Then I add my topics to the respective week and we cover in our 1:1s. If I make a note to follow up in 2 weeks I add it to the slide for 2 weeks from now.

    There are project programs like Asana but I can’t organize them the way I like. Slides gave me better customization and the manual updates help my memory.

    1. RIP Pillowfort*

      I use a simple set up I do in OneNote. I have the schedule and put in all the work people are assigned to do there. I just tick everything off as completed (as it is) and note anything necessary. This also goes for my work too. I do it per week and move over anything relevant to the next week along with notes.

      I never found the commercial project tracking programs to be helpful for managing tasks.

      1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

        yes OneNote works great! My manager has ADHD and they started using OneNote for our front office staff meetings (its just 3 of us). We each have access and there’s is a note for each week we meet. We can all just put info on the note as things come up and then they talk about it with us. Best thing is if it’s something complex it gives my manager a chance to look at it before hand and give us answers.

        1. not my usual handle*

          But also, if something doesn’t work for you, ditch it posthaste and keep looking for the right tool! I cannot at all deal with OneNote, something about it’s mental model stresses me out, so when we were setting up a new meeting, I said “can we use [internal Wiki nickname]?” and shared my nicely-set up notes page, before anyone could suggest OneNote, and everyone else, who did not care at all where the notes were as long as they didn’t have to be in charge of setting them up, was happy with that.

          1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

            oh yes whatever tool works best. I also don’t really like onenote. I wish it was better, more like Evernote.

      2. Caramel & Cheddar*

        I have a OneNote notebook for tracking the stuff I collaborate with others on, but I make sure to share the notebook with those people so that we can both put stuff on the agenda as we think of things. Ultimately I take responsibility for it, but it’s helpful for them to pop stuff on as they think about it in between meetings.

      3. Edwina*

        I didn’t know I have ADHD until very recently, BUT I found through my own experience that I needed to keep trying things to help me be organized and keep looking for a system that was going to work for me. I tried all sorts of things over the years, and I’m finally very happy having everything in OneNote. I also have folders in Outlook for emails. So if I need to find info about something, I only need to look in 2 places.

        I also have forced myself to look at my To Do list every day so I can remind myself what the priorities are for that day/week. I used to think that I didn’t have TIME to look at the To Do list, and I just handled whatever was in my Inbox from the top, which of course means that there might be important stuff that I don’t get to until I’ve taken a lot of time to resolve a bunch of NOT time-sensitive stuff.

        Some other things that might be helpful:
        – I write everything down because if I don’t, it’s like the conversation never happened.
        – I try to normalize the things that I need to do. My attitude is “of course some people need to take notes” or “of course it’s no big deal that I fiddle with my tiny Slinky all day long” etc.

        1. Anonym*

          Yes to all of this. And if you’re like me (acknowledging the breadth and diversity of the ADHD spectrum), you might need to change up systems periodically. That’s okay!

          I’ve found that my brain stops responding as well to organizational systems every 3-6 months, so I either tweak or select something different. I’ve been keeping my to do list as a standing calendar item, but lately I’ve been forgetting to check it, so I know that it’s time to either clean it up and reset or try an alternative for tracking action items.

          I used to beat myself up for not sticking with things, but I’ve made peace with the simple fact that this is how my mind works. It’s a neutral thing, not a bad one.

          TL;DR: you might need to switch up your tools/systems from time to time, and that’s okay!

          1. CanadiEm*

            This is true for me as well. I have different paper based and digital systems that I flow through, and have gotten pretty good at noticing when a system isn’t working for me anymore.

        2. Catherine*

          I am also a “write everything off and tick the box” person with my bullet journal and explain it to others as “we’re so busy that I don’t always remember exactly when I handled something, this is the easiest way to look it up.”

          1. I Have RBF*

            At one job with a consulting firm, I had a project task journal, with project number, start, description, stop, and hours columns. I was diligent about using it, and could fill out my timecard from it. It turned out to be invaluable when project managers or auditors would come to me and say “You charged half an hour to xxxx.yyy 8 months ago. What did you do with that time?” I could literally go back to the date in my notebook, and read it off.

            I am not quite as meticulous now, because I don’t have to bill in 6 minute increments. But if I did, you’d better believe I’d have a spreadsheet up that I logged my work into.

      4. KTbrd*

        Was coming here to say onenote! I keep list of all my tasks in there using the checkbox feature, check off when they’re done, and delete ad the end of the day. Downside is that if I forget to put something on my list, it’s very easy for me to forget about it. (ADHD) That’s definitely been the most successful thing for me. also, I started keeping my cell phone in another room while I’m working and that’s fantastic for me.

    2. ferrina*

      Yes, and you may need 2 systems: one for your and one for your team.

      You obviously need a system that works for you and speaks for your brain. But what works for your brain may or may not work for the neurotypical/brains of your team. If your needs align with the way your team works- great!

      But if your brain doesn’t align with your teams’ needs, that’s okay too. I am ADHD and my system is to change systems every 3-6 months. That’s what works for me, and I’ve received praise about how many projects I’m able to juggle simultaneously. But my system of changing systems would create havoc if I asked my team to do it, so I also have one steady system that works well for the majority of my team. I will sometimes delegate to others that they need to update the steady system for me- that works well.

      1. Don't Comment Much*

        Oh my gosh this! I like paper planners (for to-dos, not scheduling) but I cannot stick with one all the way through. I used to beat myself up about it, but it’s really just part of what works for me–I consider the cost of new planners ADHD tax. Use the new one while it works, and move on when I need to. Sometimes I can find someone who wants to use the rest of it.

        1. Hapless Bureaucrat*

          Yet another ADHD +1. I usually focus with my team on having them find a system that works for them to get what they need from me… and then just know that whatever system I am using for myself will start spluttering out when the novelty wears off and hopefully I will notice in time to try something new or else cycle back to an old system that can become new again.

          1. Banana Pyjamas*

            This is why I like undated planners. I can start where I left off without the guilt of creating unnecessary waste or falling off the plan.

            Also my planner has to be attractive enough that I actively seek it out. I noticed I have a tendency to buy things with gold spirals.

            1. Goody*

              Undated planners are the bomb. I’m currently on a Happy Planner system with a unicorn cover :) But that’s only for personal stuff, I have a mental block about using that in particular at work and have an Excel document instead.

              1. I Have RBF*

                When I was using planners I loved undated ones. I used to ones where you could add/remove pages from the notebook, and I would archive them in quarterly bundles. I used the Arc System or Discbound undated pages, plus a weekly appointments page.

                It felt more sane to not have wasted pages on days where I wasn’t doing anything, or was doing only one thing for several days.

            2. arkward admin*

              I’m an admin for a team of around 40 freelance contractors and 8 salaried colleagues in a social services field, plus assistant for the boss. I have one part time direct report. Many hats, which suits me just fine.

              I’m not officially diagnosed but I think there’s some autism/ADD mix going on.
              For me, it’s mostly keeping colour coded Excel sheets, with automated date reminders (near dead lines orange, critical deadlines red, done things green – like a traffic light). Same for data I have to collect and archive from the team and state agencies.

              This is coupled with a Google calendar that reminds me about tasks and to look into the corresponding sheets. The Google calendar is the starting page in my browser so I can’t forget to open it.

              I m prone to missing little mistakes I made, so whenever I notice a pattern (which I’m good at), I really do a deep dive how to build systems where I can’t make those mistakes in the first place.

              My team knows that I welcome questions, since to me those are data points to streamline our processes. If I don’t know that people have issues, I can’t improve the workflows.

              In my current job people appreciate my problem solving capabilities so much, that I’m afforded plenty of goodwill for my inevitable interpersonal blunders (imagined by me or real!). This realization makes me a lot less anxious and in turn less arkward with social interactions on the job.

        2. Fumbling forward*

          I have fallen in love with Rocketbook’s Everyday Planner (https://getrocketbook.com/products/everyday-notebook). I love that I can handwrite out my planning and to-do lists, but they can be scanned for ease of finding the information later if needed, which is wonderous if you have scanned the pages and then lose the notebook! I used to have stacks of half started planners or notebooks, which were useless because I didn’t know which one had the notes I needed. And there’s no risk of “wasting” or “ruining” the planner because you can wipe away any mistakes and start over. The executive size is perfect for tucking in a bag if I’m traveling, but I also love the letter size which gives me more room to work. No connection to the company – I just really love the product and it saves me daily.

      2. twig*

        I have ADHD too. I find that I need to change systems periodically – but that often involves a bit of chaos as the old system stops working for me and I’m figuring out what the new system is.

        Do you usually plan ahead for the next system or do your just adapt/evolve as the change is needed?

        2. Frankie*

          This is blowing my mind. So many commenters mentioning changing their system periodically and here I was thinking I had failed again as my latest system has been showing cracks. This is awesome to see and to consider.

          1. anonymous ADD (hold the H)*

            I was diagnosed as an adult, and always thought something was wrong with me that I couldn’t stick to a planner since high school.

            I felt so seen when I started hearing other ADHDers talking about this!

            Looking back on it now, I think high school was easier because I had fewer things to keep track of, and it’s common to start a new planner each academic year.

            I am older, and from the pre digital planner days. My senior year, I had one of those knockoff Franklin planners that were all the rage at the time. They were tiny adorable binders you could customize with all kinds of inserts, tabs, pages, calendar styles, and even accessories like a custom hole punch for their proprietary 6 hole format. iirc you could even get a flat calculator that flipped in. I had little folders, envelopes and sheet protectors I used frequently.

            The novelty of that and my obsession with office supplies probably helped me stick with it, too. I kinda miss those but would totally lose a paper planner these days.

      3. ursula*

        Another ADHD +1 for this. I have accepted that any system will work for a while and then fall off, and I will have to put a new system in place that feels right to me at the time. It doesn’t make sense to other people but it works for me. 3-6 months is about right. I strongly endorse the point about having separate systems for yourself vs your team (and then managing your tasks on the team system becomes an item for your personal work management system).

        1. Poly Anna*

          Some systems have cross-platform integrations to automate some of the synchronization if that’s something you want.

      4. spicy brain crew*

        yet another ADHD +1 for this! I have to change systems periodically, and there’s no real consistency with how long they work for me… so I just try to enjoy the novelty of a new one and adapt as needed. It’s helpful if I can figure out what it is that stops working so I can see if it’s a structure/external thing or something about my behavior (like I need to check the system vs. I need different kinds of highlighters/a different platform).

        1. I Have RBF*

          Yeah, I even have to change up my task tracking, so bounce from paper to electronic, notepad to spreadsheet, etc. I sort of rotate through them, using whatever works at that time. If I start having too many tasks to track with a plain text file, I switch to a Kanban system, and vice-versa if I don’t have enough stuff to track via Kanban.

    3. Specks*

      Trello can be really great for this — that’s what I mostly use for task management for myself and others. I have separate calendars (and one for my personal life as well), and organize it by “urgent/today”, “next 2-3 days”, “long-term”, “waiting on someone”, etc — but the beauty of those lists is that they’re so flexible, you can organize it by project or by time or by whatever else. You can assign people to tasks, have sub-tasks, etc. And it sends reminders.

      1. Specks*

        Oh, also, don’t be afraid to switch it up. I have weeks where attention span is my worst challenge (going through one right now), and then I try to break each task up into 10 mini-steps and put each one as a “card” on trello (or whatever system you end up using). That way I get a series of short, fast-paced tasks to complete and move to my “done” column, with the attendant cortisone of checking something off. On weeks when my anxiety is out of control, I cannot face a list of 15 tasks to do for the day and I combine them all as much as possible. So think of the difference between “edit X report and add Y section to it” (maybe with sub-tasks within the card), vs. Edit intro to X report, edit methodology section of X report, do analysis for Y section of X report, make tables for Y section, write text for Y section, send email with questions about Y report to Z, etc. Experiment and figure out which works better for your brain in general, but also today or for a particular kind of task, and do that.

        1. I Have RBF*

          Yeah, I’ve found that the curves of anxiety, stress level, task quantity and complexity, plus ambiguity, determines how much slicing and dicing I need to do to get things into a manageable place.

          At a certain combination or those, I get locked in to “analysis paralysis” and I can’t get anything started. I’m having one of those phases currently, and it’s driving me nuts. I have things I need to do, but can’t get a handle on where to start untangling the gordonian knot of stuff that wants to be done simultaneously.

      2. ADD it me*

        Fellow ADHD and I love Trello! It’s also great for me that I can put random tasks on a backlog and I don’t lose track of them like I sometimes do with paper lists or OneNote. I have one for me and also have shared ones for some projects.

      3. Sleeve McQueen*

        Not diagnosed with anything, but the reason I love Trello is that you can forward emails to the board, which takes all of one second, to ensure I capture every task. They all go into an unsorted column and then when I go to the board I sort them according to the Eisenhower Matrix and add due dates. If I want to feel particularly organised, I will use the labels so I can see at a glance what sits with me and what sits with others

    4. Lils*

      I agree with this too. But also–I will say that a system that works for you in one type of job may not work for the next type of job. I’ve worked in a very niche part of my industry for 20 years and have had to completely overhaul my tracking/to-do system three times to stay successful in different roles. Just be easy on yourself and remember YOU know your brain best–what works for someone else might not work for you. Take the time to figure out what works for you.

    5. Jess R.*

      On this note, I’ve found that the best thing for me as a neurodivergent manager is to accept that my systems are going to change. I use a paper planner for a while, then I use Trello for a while, then a neat-but-not-for-me app called Super Productivity, then back around to a paper planner. I just build it into my expectations that my organizational and management systems will be cyclical. It’s worked much better than trying to force myself to stick with a program once it’s not working for my brain anymore.

    6. Glass*

      So you keep personally identifiable and sensitive information on a network that your company does not own.
      That’s a terrible practice.

      1. Lils*

        I am confused by this comment. Where did you get the idea that there was sensitive or PII involved?

    7. mockjedi*

      I really love Asana as an ADHD person, but it works best if your whole team uses it. Pro, if you pitch it to your team and take the lead on setting up the project structure, you get to look super independent and organized and on top of shit, aka the opposite of the reason I need Asana XD

  3. Baela Targaryen*

    This is a tip for when you get home if you’ve had an exhausting day. I know it sounds weird, but trust me: keep your shoes on if you want to finish up dishes, tidy up, vacuum, etc. Keeping your shoes on does *something* in your brain that makes these tasks easier to do/work up the energy for. Seriously — trust me!!

    1. Jaid*

      Keeping the shoes on seems to be a good signal to say the work day isn’t over, just transferred over to a new location…

      1. leproducer*

        For me its a bra. I work from home, and sometimes will do a first round of emails, then have a slow morning with coffee and cats. But to get back to actually doing anything, or even just weekend chores, there haaaas to be a lightly supportive bra (not an underwire. thats a bridge too far)

        1. Cats Ate My Croissant*

          Ha, yeah, I’m also a ‘hoist the boobs and set sail for productivity’ person – I’m a student so have classes but a LOT of work to do at home. It also helps me switch off at night. Maybe my boobs are connected to my brain.

          1. whimbrel*

            > ‘hoist the boobs and set sail for productivity’

            I am CRYING hahahahaha, I have never come across this phrase before but I absolutely need to adhere to the ‘must be dressed for work when not physically working at the office’ and that is a spectacular way to phrase it.

    2. DJ Abbott*

      Maybe it’s because your feet are supported and comfy. I change into Crocs at home. So supportive and comfy, much better than slippers! :)

    3. Nespresso Addict*

      I have adhd and am on the autism spectrum. I can vouch for this shoes trick – it’s crazy that it works as well as it does. I’ll do it in the evenings or even on the weekends sometimes when I find myself doing too much scrolling or rotting. And on days I work from home I have much better focus at my desk if I’m wearing shoes. I actually had to buy myself a pair of indoors-only sneakers for this purpose as we’re a “no shoes in the house” family.

    4. Kris*

      Yes to this! I find it helpful on weekend mornings, too. If there are chores/errands I need to do before lounging around, I put on my daytime clothes/shoes as soon as I get up.

    5. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      The shoe trick might not work for some people who can’t wear shoes in the house. But I’ve found keeping my work clothes works similar for me. So instead of getting into comfy clothes right away I will keep my work clothes on and go do what I need to do, like dishes.

      1. Hapless Bureaucrat*

        Yes. I wfh full time but still dress for work (with the exception of slippers because outside shoes stay outside).
        I’ve found that the Mr. Rogers switch at the end of the day out of the office shirt/jewelry and into the chores shirt really helps my mind get into the right mode. And then when it’s relaxing time, I finally break out the soft pants.

        1. kalli*

          I have my work shoes that I only wear for work; they live under my WFH desk and I sit down, put my shoes on, and take them off to go on break.

          I might be rocking up in my oodie but I still put on my work shoes. *shrugs*

      2. HE Admin*

        You can do indoor-only shoes that you ONLY wear in the house so you’re not tracking around outside grime, like some cultures do house slippers. Then it’s still “shoes on” but it’s not “dirt everywhere.”

      3. Rainy*

        Yup. Once my “in for the night” pants go on, I’m in for the night. If I want to take a walk or go to the shops etc I keep my work clothes on.

      4. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        Yes, it doesn’t need to be shoes or clothes *specifically*, just some kind of sensory/situational/behavioral cue you associate with the kind of activity, energy, or focus mode you need.

        The underlying general principle behind this and many other adapatations is: set your circumstances up to be ‘ergonomic’ for your brain, so you don’t have to spend executive function or other limited brain resources adapting to circumstances.

      5. Not Australian*

        I think this is why I always struggled with my homework as a kid. My mother would insist I changed out of my school uniform the minute I got home, but I just *couldn’t* deal with school work if I was wearing home clothes!

    6. Specks*

      Ugh I come from a culture that doesn’t wear outside shoes inside and just reading this gave me an anxiety attack.

      But I do something similar — do all the chores immediately after work without any pause, while I’m still in “doing things” mode, and it makes a huge difference. If I sit down for a quick cup of tea or snack, that’s it. So I think it’s more about the timing and not letting any “relaxation” interrupt mentally rather than the shoes.

      1. Paint N Drip*

        When my mom landed at home and started in on chores or cooking and I just wanted to sit and rest” she would often say “an object in motion stays in motion!”
        Just keep moving!

      2. rustily*

        Echoing the comments and also to add: for me it’s the sitting down that kills me. Once I sit down, all momentum is lost.

        1. Wolf*

          “Beware of the Small Sit. It will immediately grow into a Big Sit, and nothing will get done that day.”

      3. Dek*

        AuDHD (plus Anxiety. All the A’s!) here

        Checklists.

        Checklists are your friends. However granular you need to make up. I use a small legal pad and make mine in batches of 10. I’ve considered pre-printing them, but making them by hand also helps to slow me down and think about what elements I need to double-check before calling a project finished.

        1. Edwina*

          Yes! Just making the checklist relaxes me because I’ve gotten the things out of my head, and I can stop being anxious that I’ll forget something. However, I still struggle a bit with going back and using the list to get things done. Work in progress.

          1. I Have RBF*

            I find that just writing the task list puts it in my brain. I will sometimes lose the checklist, but I can either remake it, or do it from memory once is exists in written form. But if it isn’t written? It doesn’t exist. Yes, it’s weird.

        2. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

          In my Autism / ADHD / Anxiety / Depression house, we all struggle with executive function, so the checklist is our jam.

          We have plastic boards with little sliders, with the morning chores to get ready for school / work. As we do the task, the button slides to green and we aren’t having to use cognitive load on remembering.

          There are recurring daily alarms – the kids come home soon, feed them snacks and meals, medication, etc.

          We use visual posters for the hard stuff. With babies we had a poster that listed what to try for a crying baby (diaper, food, sleep, walk, play, etc). We have a depression poster for when you realize you’re in a hole. We have a visual checklist for what to bring to camp.
          In the bathroom there is a laminated drawing of a human with highlighted “4 P’s to wash” (pits, privates, piggies, pelt/hair).

      4. Zap R.*

        Do what old Italian ladies have done since the beginning of time and change into some slides once you come in the door. Something more supportive than flip flops or slippers but not quite enough of a shoe to wear to the grocery store.

    8. Always Tired*

      I could never. That tracks the outside cooties all over my house. I DO, however, have choring slippers. I come home and change into a house outfit and chore slippers.

      1. But what to call me?*

        I also do not like outside shoes to come inside. However, I do keep my outside clothes on when there are still tasks I need to do, because clothes that have been in the outside world and have sat where other people have sat are not allowed in my bed. If I can’t settle in my nice comfy bed for a nice evening of interneting then I might as well keep accomplishing things until enough things have been accomplished to finally put jammies on.

    9. Lyon*

      I understand this works for a lot of people, but just as a counterexample (all tips & tricks for neurodivergent people have counterexamples), I have found that when I try to make this work, I burn myself out. It’s true that an object in motion stays in motion, but sometimes it really shouldn’t. I have the kind of ADHD where I get really involved in a project and don’t notice that I’m tired, do too much, and get cranky and have to lie on the couch in a heap for 8 hours. Sometimes it is better to rest early and often.

      1. spicy brain crew*

        Yes, and sometimes it depends on the task/day! If I have a finite thing I know I need to/want to get done in the evening after work, coming home and immediately getting comfy in my home clothes sometimes gives me the right amount of softness/ease to get through the task without having to sit and check out.

        1. Edwina*

          I think I’m in this camp. It’s good for me to keep in mind that some things are helpful for some people, but if an idea doesn’t work for me, it’s OK. I don’t have to feel like I’m failing at managing ADHD (which I’m prone to do because this is all new to me).

    10. Hedgehug*

      O.m.g.
      I think this might be why my late-mother ALWAYS wore indoor sneakers!!! I only ever saw her in slippers at bedtime. I will need to start emulating her more.

      1. Zzyx*

        Might be a foot issue too. Wearing slippers or going barefoot for long periods of time can be painful for some people!

    11. Dek*

      I…never thought about this.

      I was a shoes-on kid for my whole life, but my housemate for 10 years was from a shoes-off house, and I just transitioned. Even when the apartment is a mess (always), I take my shoes off at the door and feel like “Ah, I am doing the responsible adult thing.”

      …but having my shoes off makes it very easy to just flop onto the couch and do nothing.

      You are wise!

    12. Mark*

      Similarly: I have indoor shoes and indoor slippers; my indoor shoes are typically used when I’m working (I started using them because slippers weren’t good enough for a standing desk) and so putting on my “work” shoes is part of the “get to work” routine. I get the same model of shoes that I wear outside but the indoor and outdoor ones have to be different colours or the system will fall apart.

    13. Zap R.*

      My (undiagnosed but almost certainly ADHD) Nana used to cook dinner with her winter coat on. She said that it keeping it on after she came home from work stopped her from flopping down on the couch or at the kitchen table and zoning out/nodding off/doing what ever the 1960s of doomscrolling was.

    14. Noideawhattouseforthename*

      yes!! Keep the shoes on and also – DO NOT SIT! That little sit will turn into a big sit and you’re done for the afternoon/evening

    15. JMC*

      I personally hate shoes, that’s just me. I do like to work at a proper desk though, I am not one of the “work from the bed or couch” kind of person. So i have a desk, a chair and all my cozy comforting things in the office with me. Then home is elsewhere throughout the house. I do understand that feet thing though so I use socks rather than shoes.

    16. Goody*

      “keep your shoes on if you want to finish up dishes, tidy up, vacuum, etc. Keeping your shoes on does *something* in your brain that makes these tasks easier to do/work up the energy for.”

      Quoted for truth. Putting on my slippers is a signal to my brain that it’s time to rest.

      1. JustaTech*

        Yes! And putting on “real” clothes helps my brain understand that it’s time for “work mode”. When we started COVID WFH I knew that I had to build as much structure as I could, so I would put on a standard work outfit with shoes (we’re a shoes-on house and I need them for my knees anyway) and “go to work”.
        Even my NT husband agrees that it’s easier to stay in “work mode” in shoes vs slippers.

      1. Scottlibraryimissyou*

        Haha my roommate and I used to get properly dressed and fix our hair and makeup in order to head to the library at 11 PM for all-nighter paper-writing parties. I knew I couldn’t go in sweats or I’d never get my work done.

    18. Reed Weird (they/them)*

      My partner is also a “must wear shoes to be productive” person, but I’m a “no outside shoes inside” person. Our compromise: they have a pair of comfortable ballet flats that are inside only, designated get-shit-done shoes :) Partner overheats very easily, so slippers like what I wear were a no-go.

  4. Eldritch Office Worker*

    Make your work fit your brain, not the other way around (as much as possible)

    I need to be busy, I need tight deadlines, I need my brain to be engaged or I’m doing nothing. I try to gamify my work where I can, try to beat expectations, try to make something funnier or flashier or more dopamine-enducing when possible. I go with my moods as much as I can – if I have a wave of focus I ride it hard, and some days I am able to go a little slower (or frankly even crash) because I’ve done that other piece.

    I’ve done a ton of trial and error to figure out what systems of organization and accountability work best for me. Right now a combination of google tasks and a big time tracking worksheet (like you might have in a billable job) have been working well. The nice thing about the time tracking worksheet is I can later make charts or graphs, which is fun and visual, so I have some motivation to have all the data in there.

    I also need to take notes by hands, or meetings are impossible. I have been transcribing them into a giant document, which means I have to see them twice and they are eventually ctrl+f-able, which is great reinforcement and gives me something to reference.

    No two brains are the same and you have to find what works for you – that often means finding a ton of things that don’t. But there are a lot of tools and strategies, something will eventually click.

    1. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      I need to be busy, I need tight deadlines, I need my brain to be engaged or I’m doing nothing

      This is exactly why I left software development and went into technical support. Absolutely need that different problems every day thing. The brain doesn’t have an off switch.

      1. I Have RBF*

        That’s why I make a shitty full-time programmer but a good sysadmin. I can’t do the same thing every day or my brain switches off. Sameness is my bane.

    2. WeirdChemist*

      Seconding taking notes by hand… things just don’t stick in my brain if I type them!

      To take it even farther, if I have to write something (not a strong suit of mine, and a task that I often procrastinate on), I also find it easier to hand-write a rough draft before transcribing it into a word document. Not the most efficient, but certainly better than staring at that blinking cursor on a blank document for hours instead of writing…

      1. Eldritch Office Worker*

        I think efficiency is relative! If it gets the task done faster and better then it’s super efficient :)

      2. JustaTech*

        Thirding notes by hand.
        The hand-eye-brain thing helps keep me engaged, and not using my laptop keeps many of the distractions away.
        It also has the bonuses of 1) giving me somewhere to put color commentary, and 2) people don’t ask me to take minutes, because I don’t bring my laptop.

    3. ferrina*

      you have to find what works for you – that often means finding a ton of things that don’t. But there are a lot of tools and strategies, something will eventually click.

      This. So much this. I’ve tried so many, many things. Some ideas I’ve gotten from colleagues; some ideas are from ADHD books or blogs (I love the YouTube channel How To ADHD for strategies); some are from totally random sources (a sport that I played for two seasons in middle school; a book character; a TV show, etc). Don’t ever say “should”- neurospicy brains don’t follow the “should”. Results speak for themselves- follow what resonates with you and gets the results you need.

      1. WeirdChemist*

        100%! Even just in this particular comment section, there’s suggestions being put out where it’s wild to me that those things work for people because they would not fly with my brain! For example, the pomodoro (sp?) technique does *NOT* work for me… if I try to take a short break I can’t get the focus back. But it definitely works for other people!

        I had an old boss who expected everyone to be able to work the exact same way as him, and it was super frustrating. It was a constant battle of “this self-organizational strategy worked for me, therefore if it doesn’t for you then you suck”, which obviously did a terrible number on my mental health/self esteem…

        Given that the LW is in management, make sure you’re keeping this in mind not only for your own self-management strategies but also in how you’re managing others! Your reports might have ways of doing things that work best for them that are different than yours. As their boss, it’s your job to find a good compromise that works for *both* of you, not just one or the other. As a manager, you’re not just working for your own success, you’re also trying to help set others up for success too!

        1. Paint N Drip*

          It is a genuine mystery to me why pomodoro technique keeps making it’s way onto the ‘adhd hacks’ e-lists

          1. Covert Copier Whisperer*

            It can work for some ADHD brains! It’s not great for me, but it did help my spouse. Something about the “only need to commit X minutes” helped them get over that initial block on getting started because the project seemed so huge.

            1. Frankie*

              Same here. It helps me start but sometimes also doesn’t help me start on the game due to the breaks.

          2. Nice cup of tea*

            I’m AuADHD and I have trouble starting sometimes.

            It isn’t my only method, but it does work well for me.

          3. Selina Luna*

            I wonder the same thing about other “ADHD hacks.” I think it’s because neurospicy brains are all spicy in different ways. Mine might be cilantro, while yours might be cinnamon, and those require different tools and techniques.

          4. yirna*

            It only works for me sometimes, like for a task I really don’t want to start. It’s the starting that’s the hard part, then it’s easier to just keep going and blow past the ‘break.’ It helped a lot for essays in school. Less so now that I’m in the workforce, but that’s more because I’m actually doing things I find interesting.

            1. I Have RBF*

              Yeah, my biggest issue is initiation of tasks that hit my “too much at once, to complicated, can’t break it down” trigger. My brain just says “nope!” until I can find the right “small start” subtask that is discrete enough for my brain to say “okay, I’ll just do that and see how much else I can do”.

              Interestingly enough, if there’s actually a problem to solve, instead of just a series of interrelated tasks to do, I can solve the problem, but still not be able to start the tasks. It’s annoying and weird.

          5. Thegreatprevaricator*

            It totally works for me but sometimes the short breaks are 40 mins long. As others have said, the trick then for me is not thinking that means it’s failed! I absolutely still get a lot more done with it than without it. I also use for specific tasks, and within a framework of support including time blocking. It works best for report writing and other desk based tasks that are involved but also boring!

          6. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

            Pomodoro works for my family. It gets over that initial resistance – just clean for 4 minutes, and creates a game and a challenge to see how much we can do in that short time.

        2. Ellis Bell*

          Pomodoro never used to work for me, but I figured an adaptation to it that has made it really useful; I used to get distracted by full on breaks, especially if I flopped down and relaxed; now what I do is a portion of action followed by a portion of thinking about my next steps; it helps me to do something with my hands while thinking, like making tea or going for a walk, or going to brainstorm it with someone. This is useful when it’s a tricky task, or one I’m dreading or unmotivated about. Sometimes just telling myself I’m only going to be doing the task for twenty minutes (or if it’s a real bore, I might change it to just ten) before I can get a change of scenery ,is all I need to get into a flow, and I don’t need the breaks at all.

          1. I Have RBF*

            Yeah, sometimes the “Yes, this sucks, but I can do it for 15 minutes” is a way to try to plow through disliked tasks. For me that is any form of cleaning – I always end up in pain if I spend too long cleaning, which acts as a negative reinforcement. So I only clean in short bursts, and if I start hurting that’s my signal to stop. I had to stop giving a fuck in order to have it not be as much of a guilt and shame spiral.

    4. Rage*

      “Make your work fit your brain, not the other way around (as much as possible)”

      This is so accurate. I got my ADHD diagnosis last fall (at 40-freaking-9), and one of the things that came out of the psychological evaluation was that my brain wants fast-paced, short-duration tasks. It’s what made me such a damned good EA (and the other coordinator job I was doing 1.5 years ago). But 1.5 years ago, I got moved to a contracts administrator role…and that is so very NOT fast-paced, short-duration tasks. No wonder I completely fell apart. Now that I am medicated and can focus better (or, rather, focus PERIOD), I have worked hard to implement some checks into my processes that break up the “slow-burn” process of contracting to give my brain what it needs to function successfully. I track my contracts (and policies; I do that too) using Monday.com, and move them from group to group as they go through the process. I have columns to indicate if I need to meet with this team or that, if Finance has approved the contract, when my follow-up date is (those notification reminders are so very helpful). I also keep a separate log for the contracts which includes different information (such as termination notice periods, start/end dates, etc.) – that is available for all leadership to see, so if they want to look in and see where a contract is in our process (of course, they don’t LOL). That’s a lot of logging – but there’s the stuff *I* need to see/know and the stuff *others* need to see/know – and honestly breaking things down smaller has been more helpful than I ever thought possible.

      Also: I put reminders on my Outlook calendar for things that I do routinely (weekly, monthly, yearly) and work through the reminders list every day. I like those because I can “snooze” them for a day or two or whatever, so it’s not clogging up my To Do list, so if I have something major today, the reminder will come back tomorrow morning and not be constantly nagging me to address it.

      And work-flow schedules: planning out what will need to happen (as far as large projects/initiatives) next month, next quarter, in 6 months, in 12 months, etc helps me keep a big picture overview so that I can focus more on the minutiae but not panic with OMG was I supposed to do that now?? interruptions.

      And, honestly, set these types of things up for your home life as well, because the more you can fend off the brain memory overload, the better you will be overall. I have some apps that I use for tracking household chores – because I am absolutely not going to remember to check the water softener salt level every 2 months otherwise.

      Also, it helps my focus to have some background noise, but it needs to be more predictable than the hum that accompanies a regular office environment – so if I need to focus, I’ll put on a nature documentary and listen to that, or an audiobook I’ve already listened to/read previously. And I have one day a week where I work from home, and saving up those larger projects for that day has been beneficial for me.

      Oh – make your workSPACE work for you as well. My desk phone can only be on my left side – because I tuck the headset into my left shoulder when I’m talking and typing, and if it’s on my right side, the phone cord runs across my keyboard and that Simply Will Not Do. (And, no, I cannot tuck the phone on my right side; this is how specific some of our neurospicy quirks can get.) Folders/documents that I reference regularly are also to my left; folders I get into less frequently are always on the right. Stapler on the right (since I will grab it with my right hand) but pens, pencils, etc. are on the left (even though I’m right handed). Figuring out exactly what you need from your desk will make you more efficient because you’re reducing the annoyance factor – and, for me, that will dry up any motivation I might have.

      1. Eldritch Office Worker*

        OMGGG the workspace one yes. It is so distracting if wires are in the wrong place or if you reach for something and it’s not where you expect it. Untenable.

        My workspace isn’t always tidy but it is always deliberate.

        1. WeirdChemist*

          “My workspace isn’t always tidy but it is always deliberate”

          Never have I seen a truer statement lol. These piles of papers may look chaotic, but I know exactly what they are and what they’re for so don’t touch them!

          1. fluffy*

            Looking back, it was when one company insisted we must all keep our desks “presentable” and “clean” that I decided to start looking elsewhere. It made me feel super uncomfortable and judged, and this was just the start of upper management demonstrating that their priorities were in the wrong place.

      2. Analyst J*

        Seconding this thread. I plan, what I can, of my workday into how I work best – focus heavy work in the morning when leaving my afternoons to wrap up the day and handle admin tasks but this is what works for me based on how my brain works best. Finding what works for you is really important to be successful & the process is always evolving. I also have my desk and OneNote (best app ever!) arrange in a way that makes it easy for me to find info and removes sensory irritations that maybe distracting.
        When I was managing I also leveraged a group OneNote notebook to track shared info and meeting notes so that I could keep track of everything without feeling overwhelmed because my team also contributed to updating the info.

      3. Data Bear*

        I’m with you on background noise; it’s like it uses up excess attention and lets the rest of my mind focus better.

        But for me, it can’t have words! Words take up *too much* attention. Lots of trance and electronica music for me.

        1. Kan*

          There used to be a website that would let you listen to live air traffic control feeds from various airports (you could choose) over lo-fi music. It was heavenly. Unfortunately, the web builder’s access to live air traffic control feeds was cut off. It was the absolute best, and I can feel my brain tingling just remembering it.

          1. Nate*

            I believe Stanley Kubrick (who was almost certainly on the ND spectrum) often listed to air traffic controllers while editing his films.

          2. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

            Ooh speaking of brain-tingle, have you tried 8D music, with two-ear headphones?

            Somehow they mess with fade and – I don’t know, all those slidey DJ buttons – so that the music sounds like it’s circling your head, including behind you. If you close your eyes and follow the sound ball with your eyes, it is incredibly relaxing. Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiss!

            I suspect it hooks into a similar brain thing as EMDR eye movement therapy for trauma. I always feel really relaxed during that, too.

      4. Edwina*

        @Rage, thanks for all of the ideas! I was finally diagnosed at 60-freaking-1, so I feel you on that! I’m going to bookmark your comment so I will remember that I should do what works for ME. Because it’s so new to me, it’s pretty easy to feel like the weirdest weirdo for (1) having ADHD and (2) worrying about getting ADHD “wrong.”

        Now I know why I used to put on Law & Order in the background while I worked. It only works with episodes I’ve already seen a million times. I tried this once with the Benedict Cumberbatch “Sherlock,” but you really have to pay attention to that show. You can’t half-ass it and still know what’s going on, so I saved it for when I wasn’t working.

      5. late diagnosed neurospicy*

        Seconding the recommendation for Monday.com! It’s very flexible and I love itl

      6. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

        This is so spot on! I’m another late-diagnosed person who compensated for decades, without realizing.

        I also work in intense spurts, whereas a long slow slog is death. I get a ton done in my spurts! I make it a game – can I get the core work done by X o’clock? Then it feels like I’m winning, but not having to slog. I’m the bunny, but the turtle!

    6. Rock Prof*

      Similarly I need to always have multiple things I’m working on so I can switch from thing to thing otherwise I lose focus. Academia works pretty well for that because the classes switch every semester, grading is kind of nice thing to do when my brain is somewhat wandering and doesn’t need a done of focus but still feels like doing something, my research projects I can jump into whenever.
      I will add the caveat that I am absolutely terrible at completing things, like writing up my projects, and great at starting new ones.

    7. not nice, don't care*

      I have found it’s important not to let the need to be busy eclipse the need to be measured or to leave room for regrouping/breathing. It’s super hard for me to intentionally *not* go at full speed all the time, but my job involves maybe 50% incredibly busy times and 50% super slow. I have had to learn to carve out low-activity time even when it’s busy, or my other health issues will floor me.
      It’s been a mental culture change for me, but the funny thing is, my bosses are really supportive, and I’ve come to realize the person cracking the whip on my pacing and productivity is me. Learning when to pause our inner-boss is so important.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Speaking of going full speed, I have a very annoying (to me!) habit of missing really important details in emails. Like, my boss would write, “Please make sure this $500 check gets put into the Llama project fund.” And I’d write back and be like, “Ok, was it a check or a credit card donation?” And immediately after I hit send, I’d be like, ooooooops, she says *right there* in her email that it’s a check, and have to sheepishly send an immediate follow up email. Or sometimes I wouldn’t even notice she’d just said so and have to sheepishly respond to her follow up email telling me, again, that it’s a check.

        I just read so fast that I often skim emails to get the gist and not even notice the important details. So if you have a question about something in an email or chat but don’t need it answered immediately, give yourself a few minutes or even a few hours, re-read the email/chat and see if your question is, in fact, answered in the email/chat. And only if you confirm that it’s not answered, only then should you ask the question. Similarly, if someone asks you a question that doesn’t need to be answered immediately, give yourself a few minutes to actually think through your answer rather than respond immediately. Even if you know what the answer is, you might be better able to explain it if you take a few minutes before writing it down for others to read.

        Note that I’m not saying you should never ask questions, I’m just saying that somehow my brain, at least (maybe not yours, though!), has a really bad habit of missing important details in written communications and in order to get myself to slow down and really read the material, I need to give my eyes a rest from the material for awhile in order to really take in what’s written down.

        1. ADHD is slowly killing me*

          The option to cancel an email you just sent before it actually goes out was a life saver for me. You have to dig into the Gmail settings to find it and turn it on, but it’s so worth it. I have it set for 30 second grace period. And it has saved me so many times.

    8. Putting the Dys in Dysfunction*

      One really good way to make the work fit your brain is to (where you can) delegate the tasks that are more difficult for you to folks who are more suited to that task.

      For example, if I’m working on a sprawling project with someone good at details (which I am most certainly not, given my ADHD brain), I rely on them to be more fluent with the details while I work on other aspects.

      Don’t feel that you need to be good at everything because you’re the manager. Let other folks shine, just make sure that they give you input the way you need it.

    9. Wilbur*

      For me, Eisenhower matrices and blocking time. Eisenhower matrix to help me prioritize what I need to do and what I should hand off, and limiting when I’ll respond to emails. If I don’t block out time for specific things and limit when I respond to emails, then I’m spending all morning responding to emails or approving things that don’t require my immediate attention.

    10. OhGee*

      Agreed! For me (inattentive-type ADHD and some auditory processing issues), I decide where and with whom I can be open about my particular brain, and for those who don’t need to know, I simply ask for what I need in the moment.

      In meetings: “could you repeat that so I can be sure I’ve got it right in my notes?” (Great and covers for the fact that sometimes I simply don’t process a critical sentence the first time around.)

      Somebody drops by my desk to ask me for something: “I can do that – would you please send me a follow-up email (or, if we have a shared task system, a ticket/request etc) to be sure I don’t let it slip?” (Nobody should be verbally asking me for things when I’m in the middle of something else, but I’ve worked in many settings with people who prefer a quick in person conversation. So I find a way to ensure it works for me.)

      I find the tools that work for me (pomodoro timer app for motivation, combo of digital project management tools for overall/long-term tracking and handwritten lists for a satisfying ability to manually cross things off as I finish them).

      Ask for what you need in order to do your best, and don’t apologize for it. Good luck.

    11. General von Klinkerhoffen*

      “Make your work fit your brain, not the other way around (as much as possible)”

      Yes, exactly this.

      A job is like a sandwich – we call it egg salad or reuben or PBJ, but the majority of a sandwich is the bread. You have to like the bread to like the sandwich.

      In this extended metaphor I thought I wanted to work in egg salad, and I got my first work experience with an egg salad organisation. The job was nothing to do with eggs or mayonnaise – I was kneading bread dough. Nowadays I knead bread dough in a BLT boutique, and hot dang I kick butt at it.

    12. Karo*

      Being billable has been a gamechanger for me. I have to do 7.5 hours of work every day; I have to meet deadlines everyday. It also helps that we use a project tracking system like Trello so people add tasks to my board for me and they are there staring me in the face until I get them done – And if it’s not on my Trello board, it doesn’t exist.

  5. Optimus*

    ADHD here. My number one advice – or at least, what has helped me the most – is getting “things I need to do/know” out of my head and into writing in a place that makes sense. For me this is a two-parter: (1) a to-do list system that is easy to use so I will actually use it, and (2) leaning heavily on electronic calendars. If anyone tells me anything, it goes in one ear and right out the other. So I take notes in every meeting/conversation, and as soon as it’s over, I transfer actions to my to-do list and dates to my calendar.

    I took a company-provided training a year and a half ago on the Inbox Zero approach to managing emails/tasks/calendar items and for me it was life-changing. I currently have about 200 items in my inbox (we had a hurricane and then I was sick, and I’m behind right now) but when I started using Microsoft Outlook’s tasks features as a part of the Inbox Zero approach, it was like the sun came up. Before that, I was using Notepad to keep a running list of all the things I needed to do, and that worked okay for many years, but having the tasks do the same thing but be integrated with my email was a big step up.

    Obviously this is just one facet of ADHD, but for me, trying to catch and organize the constant barrage of tasks and dates was tough until I got the hang of this.

    I’ve also learned to give my brain some breathing time after something strenuous. So if I have a big deadline one day and I have to push really hard to write something or complete a presentation or whatever, I need to focus on quieter, more tedious, non-time-sensitive stuff the next day if at all possible.

    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I’m also a “don’t tell me verbally, I will instantaneously forget it” type and if I have a conversation with someone who needs something from me, I ask them to follow up with me via email so that there’s a record of our conversation (or if I have a request of them, I send them the email).

      The other “getting things out of my head” thing I do is having a place to jot things down for later, though I do this mostly in my personal life. For example, if I am in the middle of something but suddenly think “Oh! I need to google X!”, I google the thing, leave the search results open in my browser, and then go back to what I was actually working on. I’ve seen similar suggestions for people to just keep a notepad by their computers where they can write down the distracting thought that they don’t need to address right this second so they can go back to what they actually do need to address. Then at the end of the day they can revisit the notepad filled with things like “buy cough medicine” or “email Celine about the birthday party.”

      1. ursula*

        About the tendency to get sidetracked by the sudden “I need to Google X” impulse (which is enormous for me) – I keep a tiny scratch pad beside my desk that I think of as the “look up later” list, and I try to dump my google ideas there instead of immediately indulging in a research rabbit hole. It helps me feel like I “put” the thing somewhere, so I can theoretically go back to it later and it won’t be lost, but in practice I almost never actually follow up on them, because they didn’t actually matter beyond a passing impulse.

      2. Ellis Bell*

        I have the kind of job now, where it’s fine to say “don’t tell me verbally” or “could you email me this” or “remind me”, it’s something a lot of people do. However, I had a job in the past where it really wouldn’t have been okay to do that and my job was kind of structured around people coming up to my desk to ask me for random things. I used a huge plain white A3 pad as a kind of desk mat and would scribble little To Do notes on the top page so everything was always visible, no need to flick through or look around for where you put your cute little note book. My rule was that I’d have everything ticked off by the end of the day, or at the very least not go to the next page until I could tear off the completed top one.

    2. ADHD*

      Seconding all of this—inbox zero was a huge game changer for me because I would get overwhelmed by the barrage of emails on different subjects, requiring different amounts of work, etc. Now I try to process emails in batches once or twice a day (obviously dependent on expectations of your role), answer or archive any that can be dealt with in five minutes or less, and transfer things requiring more thought/effort to a task management system (I use Todoist.) Getting organized with daily tasks either the night before or early in the morning before new stuff starts coming in is also super helpful, so I don’t spend time trying to figure out where I should focus my energy (I tend to get paralyzed when I have multiple equally important, equally urgent tasks, even though I rationally know the answer is “pick one, it literally does not matter which.”)

      Also, getting enough sleep.

    3. DivergentStitches*

      I agree with the Outlook tasks/to-do feature. When I discovered it, it was a real game changer for managing my work. You can drag an email over to the task pane to create a task. Dates for following up, it’s great.

      1. see you anon*

        +1 for tasks/to-do features. Also using a calendar or day planner of some sort, I use both. My workplace uses Outlook, so I have calendar built-in which is helpful. Using the reminders/follow feature in both tasks and calendar is really helpful for me since it’ll auto-populate what I need to do today, tomorrow, this week, and I can adjust as my workflow and energy shift.

        This may be mentioned elsewhere, but I want to offer colour coding. Colour coding tasks got me through undergrad, grad school, and pretty much every office job I’ve had. It helps me to group like tasks together so that I can get the best use out of my energy bursts, or know that I need to tuck in on a heftier project. My colour coded groups are a mixture of broad topics my work touches (“HR”), as well as more specific, regular tasks I handle (“payroll”, “onboarding”).

      2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        +1

        And this is why I backed out of New Outlook where this feature appears to have been eliminated altogether.

    4. FricketyFrack*

      I haven’t been diagnosed as neurodivergent (though I do wonder how many people need to ask me if I am before I do something about it) but to-do lists and either my Outlook calendar or phone calendar/alarms are a game changer. I am CONSTANTLY thinking of something I need to do and then forgetting about it within 30 seconds, so I’ve had to make an effort to put it somewhere immediately or it’s a total crapshoot if the thought will ever return. People sometimes think it’s rude when I whip out my phone while they’re talking but it’s like, if it’s not in here, it doesn’t exist.

      1. Chelle*

        I’ve said before that one of the ADHD diagnostic criteria should be “how long did you put off making this eval appointment?”

        1. FricketyFrack*

          I’ve been told that constantly forgetting to make an appointment is probably a good sign that I need to make an appointment. It hasn’t helped, tbh.

          1. fluffy*

            Getting an ADHD diagnosis is one of the strongest examples of a real-life catch-22: a huge part of making the process happen involves doing things that are already super hard for someone with ADHD, and the providers seem to love to shame people for it, too.

            1. Nightengale*

              I (neurodivergent myself) work with neurodivergent kids and many neurodivergences are hereditary. 50% of kids with ADHD have a parent with ADHD. We don’t have good research data on how many autistic kids have an autistic parent. . . but it’s a sizable minority.

              The main group in my city doing what I do will not schedule the intake appointment until paperwork is returned.

              You know who has trouble getting paperwork done and handed in?

              I have made this a hill to die on that my practice will never require paperwork because it’s a DEI issue for disabled people as well as people with limited English proficiency, limited health literacy, all the people we claim that we are here to serve.

              3. ADHDParent*

                my son needs paperwork done and I am struggling so hard to get it done. There are just too many steps. I actually managed to get teacher to fill out forms and kid to fill out forms and I just needed to get the parent ones done… and couldn’t. I don’t know why. But now I need to start over and meanwhile my kid is suffering.

                1. Pajama Mommas*

                  Thank you @Nightengale! That is important.
                  We also joke at my house about the catch-22 that is taking medication every day–it’s hard to remember to take your medication when you haven’t yet had the medication that helps you remember to do things….

              4. I Have RBF*

                Yes.

                I have an easier time with paperwork than my roomie, for example, but I still have a limited patience with it. A two page (single sided) for is about my max, and then my brain says “Fuck this shit, I’m not a form monkey.”

                The first time I have to enter the same information in a second place on the form? Bye! My brain will not do it, unless it’s my name at the top of the second page. I have to treat it as a second form completely, and even then my brain balks in annoyance.

            2. Orv*

              Not just the diagnosis, but jumping through the hoops necessary to get the meds, and tracking them down when the inevitable shortages happen.

              1. JustaTech*

                One thing I super appreciate about my GP is that she never gives me a hard time when I message her “hey, I’ve used up all the prescriptions you called in for me months ago and now I only have 4 pills left, may I have new prescriptions please?”
                Because she gets that the amount of executive function involved in remembering to get the prescription filled and picked up is one thing, but to keep track of how many are left for half a year? Never going to happen.

          1. Edwina*

            In response to Chelle’s “I’ve said before that one of the ADHD diagnostic criteria should be ‘how long did you put off making this eval appointment?’”

        3. I Have RBF*

          Seriously. I had a childhood Dx, but that paperwork is long gone, and was in another state, so… I keep putting off getting it dealt with. Then again, I’ve needed to find a new primary care doc for nearly 15 years. I just go to urgent care when I have a problem…

      2. Slow Gin Lizz*

        I suspected I had ADHD and finally made an appt for an eval, only to have them say I didn’t have ADHD (the eval was not set up to evaluate the various things that made me suspect I had it, and that really annoyed me) and it took me another year to get a different eval and diagnosis because I still felt that I had it even after the first eval said no. But I think that just suspecting you have ADHD is good enough – and if you start implementing some of the tools recommended here and on other ADHD websites and they help, it doesn’t even matter if you have ADHD or not. That’s the beauty of these tools, they can help anyone, not just us ADHDers!

        1. Ellis Bell*

          I’ve heard a lot of women say they’re still getting evaluated for symptoms more common in boys.

          1. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

            I 1,000% have ADHD, but was told by the neuropsych that while I have executive function issues and test with very ADHD characteristics, I couldn’t *technically* be diagnosed with ADHD because as a child my school and social life weren’t impacted enough.

            But the neuropsych also said that was only because the diagnosis criteria are deeply sexist against females. Unlike many boys, many girls tend to people-please and compensate with perfectionism (channeling our intense struggles into anxiety/ depression). Medical sexism is a real problem.

            But my doctor was willing to try me on the meds, they work great, as do ADHD strategies (ADDitude magazine is incredible, as is YouTube’s How to ADHD). So now I just confidently say I have ADHD.

        2. asbanks*

          Same situation. I had an eval that was 90% test-format “IQ questions”, like “can I say a list of animals and then can you say it back in order of their size” or “can you solve this word puzzle”. This is exactly the kind of thing my brain LOVES. It’s short duration, a brain puzzle, and something I can objectively score well or poorly on? Let’s GO.

          Never asked me anything like, I don’t know… “do you know where your keys are right now?” or “how many hours have you spent staring at a blank assignment and neither completing it nor allowing yourself to do anything else?”

          1. Walk on the Left Side*

            Had an extremely similar experience. The whole neuropsych testing process kicked in my hyperfocus, and the singular “do a boring repetitive-but-not-quite task for 15 minutes” test HAD A PATTERN TO IT and thus I ended up with a just-barely-normal result. They even had the gall to state in the writeup that my “symptoms were over-reported” because of how I did in their one brief test.

            Why oh why did I waste over a thousand dollars on that joke of a process.

          2. I Have RBF*

            Seriously.

            I tend to blow the top off of IQ type tests, but none of them address my executive dysfunctions. Yes, I’m smart, but that doesn’t actually do me much good if I can’t actually get things done. IQ type tests are nice little puzzles, but have little relation to why ADHD is a problem for people.

    5. Successful Birthday Rememberer*

      Planning my day in my calendar with items to follow up on, downtime to get misc tasks done, tracking in Hive for projects, and sticky notes for the things I keep forgetting.
      Put the phone down and do not pick it up during times of critical focus.
      Record and /or get transcriptions of things that are confusing so you can go back and listen.
      Create chat rooms by project / topic to keep everything in one place.
      Notepad and pen goes everywhere. Stars next to action items and either enter them in the calendar or knock them out at a set time every day.
      Color code calendar and email for finding things quickly.
      Do brain breaks when you can – go for a walk or whatever if it’s an option.
      Have checklists per person to follow up on ‘did they do the thing’. It can be private or shared with them – whatever works. They can enter comments to follow up and close items on the list.

      Good luck to you!

    6. Paint N Drip*

      I am 100% with you on your first point, and I’d recommend the ‘Getting Things Done’ method/book

  6. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

    Things that have helped me:

    Having a wall behind me in the office. I really really do not like having people behind me or people walking around behind me.
    Looking at people’s eyebrows or foreheads instead of their eyes while talking.
    Being able to vacate the office a few minutes before the weekly fire alarm check. Not only are the alarms a known epilepsy trigger but the noise itself is horrible.
    Decent note taking methods – otherwise I’ll forget stuff (although that could be menopause related)
    The art of the quiet exit. If things get too loud/busy I find something that needs doing elsewhere or pop out for a 10 minute fresh air break.
    Doing embroidery at lunch while watching something on my ipad.

    Basically it boils down to whatever can prevent/forstall a meltdown. Also several decades of therapy.

      2. Audrey Puffins*

        I used to be a fire marshal, and we did a weekly check on our fire alarm. It was never a full evacuation drill, it was literally just a quick burst of the noise every Tuesday at 11am, and people knew they didn’t need to leave their desks unless the noise went on for more than ten seconds

      3. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

        To clarify – it’s a short test of the system that doesn’t require evacuation. But the sirens are really really loud.
        Fire drills are more every two months.

        1. Mimmy*

          Oh god, the fire alarms at my job are HORRENDOUSLY loud, which is not a good thing when you wear hearing aids!! Our drills are usually monthly.

      4. Arrietty*

        Incredibly normal in the UK, I’d be concerned by any corporate building that didn’t test the alarm system weekly. You just know that on Tuesday at 11am or whenever, you don’t need to evacuate if you hear the alarm unless it lasts more than a minute.

    2. Hiring in Canada*

      Seconding the “wall behind you” thing. I need to be located physically where no one will be passing behind me. I can’t focus and start getting paranoid, not because I’m doing anything wrong, but I’m always anticipating a distraction. Plus, if I’m wearing headphones for noise cancellation or “jam loud music into my brain to trigger concentration”, I can’t hear the people around me, and I really cannot do that if I think people will be behind me.

    3. spicy brain crew*

      I didn’t realize until moving cubicles how much having a wall/no one walking behind me was better than the alternative. I feel like a piece of my brain is always on alert for anyone walking behind me (and another piece is highly aware of being clocked in, a whole other thing), to the point that I’ve thought about getting a rearview mirror for my desk so I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder!

      1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        I have an artistic mirror wall behind my desk – a dozen or so small circular mirrors. It feels like art but helpfully reflects anyone approaching.

    5. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

      The art of the quiet exit, yes!

      I feel like that’s a physical disability thing too. All of these things require an intense tracking of spoons (units of energy).

  7. EttaPlace*

    For those of us on the autism spectrum, always laying out things in clearly communicated, specific ways helps. For example, don’t assume that we’ll dress up tomorrow just because we know there’s a meeting with a special client. If you want something, you have to tell people that!

    1. Mid*

      And I think the flip side of that would be asking clarifying questions when you think you might be missing something! And then, if your memory is a sieve like mine, writing down the answer to reference in the future.

  8. juliebulie*

    Believe it or not, I do better work with the TV on. I always have a runaway train of thought when I’m trying to work, and having something in the background that I don’t have to actively pay attention to seems to tame the runaway train. I get too caught up in music to work with music on, and I loathe most daytime TV, so I usually keep it tuned to either sitcom reruns or game shows.

    Unfortunately I was never able to do this in the office, as wearing headphones makes whatever I’m listening to seem more intense, which is not what I need. To get away from other people’s conversations I had to physically move to another place in the building. Fortunately, it was a big building with a lot of unused areas. We don’t have that building anymore, and the remaining office is noisy no matter where you are, and not in a way that is good or neutral for ADHD, so here I sit at home with The Price Is Right.

    1. Psammead*

      I’m in this club too! I need an existing low level distraction so my brain doesn’t go off looking for a new one.
      My brother is diagnosed ADHD and I have some very strong traits, and I’ve found I get on a lot better with a job that has a lot of variety, where I’m not doing the same routine tasks over and over again. I’m in applications support and get to either visit customer sites for hands on work or wfh and deal with user troubleshooting as it comes in by email. Having control over my work approach, plenty of variation in my work day and having management that appreciate me and mostly leave me to get on with it as long as everything is under control work much better for me than in office routine work

    2. Unkempt Flatware*

      Yep! Severe ADHDer here and I can’t work without TV or movies in the background. I also have NY Times games on another tab and spend all day bouncing around.

    3. WeirdChemist*

      I can’t do TV (too much visual distraction), but definitely need music to work! I have certain songs/albums/playlists that have become a sense memory of “time to work now” which makes it way easier for me to focus. I wrote my PhD dissertation one Hamilton soundtrack play through at a time lol. Luckily I’m not someone who gets sick of hearing the same thing over and over again very easily!

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        And I can only do music if the task I’m doing is totally mindless! And it can’t be music with words, either, because then I concentrate too much on the words. Awhile back I think there was an AAM post about an online cat purr generator and I clicked that and it was soooo cool, a really nice soothing type of white noise. The person who created that also has a noise generator that you can combine nature sounds like wind, rain, ocean and/or just white, pink, or brown noise. I like that one even better and use it when I’m trying to read work stuff and my brain just won’t focus. My brain definitely can’t focus on reading if there’s music playing or any kind of annoying noise.

      2. Rainy*

        Mr Rainy and I both have ADHD but fall on different sides of the presentation binaries in most things. I can have tv/movies on in the background and he finds it distracting. He has music or audiobooks going literally all the time, which I find distracting. He’s overwhelmed by too much light; I’m overwhelmed by too much sound. He’s an always sock, I’m a never sock. He likes food routine, I require food variety. And on and on. :)

    4. alto*

      i personally refer to my runaway train of thought as “the monkey in the back of my head who will start banging pots and pans if not properly placated”, but i deal with it the same way – having something playing in the background (bonus points for it being in a language i don’t understand, because then the monkey can’t latch onto something happening in the video/stream/song/whatever and take over)

      1. You Had Me At Moein*

        omg. It never occurred to me to have things in languages I don’t speak playing in the background. This is a great idea. Thank you!

        Even if I’m not paying attention to most any shows/movies/songs, my brain will still latch on to certain words or phrases and start going down a rabbit hole.

    5. ferrina*

      I’ve found that it depends on what I’m doing. If I’m doing a rote task like filling out spreadsheets, podcasts worked really well for me (I could binge hours of a certain D&D game).
      If I’m doing a brainstorming task, I need silence and space. I sit on my floor with papers around me. Or I walk around while muttering to myself. I can’t have other sounds or my brain leaves the brainstorming mode.

    6. Rage*

      Yeah I’m definitely the same way – but whatever is on the TV needs to be something that won’t drag my attention away. So, for me: no movies I have never seen before; movies I have watched a zillion times (such as “The 13th Warrior” or “Aliens”) give me the background noise + entertainment I need but do not interrupt my focus (OK, except I will stop and yell “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU…” with Ripley when she faces down the queen). Forensic Files is a good series, and Blue Planet/Planet Earth. Actually anything with David Attenborough narrating, come to think of it. I’ve probably seen them before anyway LOL

      Audiobooks are good too – but fiction only, and something I have previously read or listened to.

      Background noise doesn’t bother me…until it does. Brains are weird.

    7. Biology Dropout*

      Wow, this is me too!! Though in an office setting I do audiobooks or podcasts because they look less distracting than TV to managers, and actually they work better for me than TV most of the time.

    8. MyStars*

      I have a good friend who runs QVC and HSN in the background all day for similar reasons. Gives that part of her brain something to do that she doesn’t need to retain.

  9. Bird Lady*

    I work remotely now, which has significantly helped reduce unwanted stimulus. When setting up my workspace, I was careful to build a spot that is soothing, separate from everything else, and away from noises when my husband is home.

    One of the things I do is block time off on my calendar daily to accomplish tasks I find difficult for whatever reason. If it’s on my calendar, the time is respected by my colleagues, but more importantly, by me.

    I use an online tool called Grammerly to check my spelling, punctuation, and reading level. (I end up having to write a lot of technical step by step instructions, so it’s helpful for ensuring that I’m writing on a reading level students can understand.)

    I step away from things to go for a short walk, or grab a coffee, when I’m overstimulated, cranky, or need to rest my brain. Fortunately, my current employer encourages us to take short mental health breaks when needed. In previous jobs, I used these walks to have one on one low-stakes conversations with folks I was collaborating with. It eliminated so many of the workplace distractions and being away from the office gave people freedom to be more direct.

  10. Jo*

    I often forget things and for some reason I don’t always see calendar reminders in Outlook. I find it easier to send myself an email using the ‘delay delivery ‘ option so I get a reminder email at the right time for whatever I need.

    3. Generic Name*

      I changed the alert settings on my laptop and phone to change the meeting alert tone. For some reason, the “new email” tone is very similar in my brain to the “upcoming meeting” tone in Outlook, so even though I had turned off the new email sound, I was still missing the meeting alert tone because I just didn’t hear it anymore.

    4. Wolf*

      I don’t use any active reminders, I just set Outlook to list my tasks in my calendar, so I constantly have a clear list of what needs to happen today/this week/this month/until a specific date.

      For my brain, a pop-up reminder never comes at a convenient time. It just rips me out of whatever task I was working on. With the list, I can grab tasks when I’m ready to do them.

  11. RaginMiner*

    I am autistic but not ADHD, so YMMV with my suggestions.
    I use Smartsheets to keep track of my projects and updates. I also schedule “busy” time on my calendar and close my door for 2-4 hours at a time so I can work without distraction. I use my airpods to listen to a boring technical (read, not super stimulating) podcast or white noise if there’s activity in my office that is distracting. I also keep thinking putty at my desk to do something with my hands. I take frequent brain breaks.
    Interpersonally, I make a point to participate in cookoffs/events and be warm and friendly and join conversations. Social cues are a little difficult for me, but this helps me avoid the standoffish engineer stereotype!

      1. AUK*

        Wait a minute – so it’s putty-that’s-used-for-thinking, not putty-that-can-think? I think I have misunderstood this, my whole life. I thought it was meant to be a joke about sentient putty (which now I write it down is obviously insane).

        2. Cat*

          “which now I write it down is obviously insane”
          Who among us has not had something that our brains just accepted without question until we attempted to communicate to someone else and had a metaphorical record scratch?

  12. Charlie*

    If you think it’s safe to, disclose your neurodivergence to your manager and HR so you can request appropriate accommodations. What you might ask for really depends on your individual needs but could be accommodations like: remote working, x amount of advance notice for travel, advance notice of phone calls where possible, flexible schedule, are a few examples.

    1. ferrina*

      I recommend against disclosing unless you need to, especially if you are early career. ADHD and autism are words that everyone knows, but most people don’t actually know much about it. They tend to rely on the stereotypes that they are familiar with. Even well-meaning managers can do damage when they think they are helping (like assuming that they know what techniques for you). It can also damage you when you are trying to advance your career- your manager may assume that your AuDHD will limit how you perform in future roles (even if you are already showing that you have those skills!).

      1. JPB Gerald*

        I felt safe myself but ONLY because I now have a doctorate and a long track record. (I also wasn’t diagnosed until I was 35.)

        Had I been diagnosed at 20 I don’t think I’d’ve disclosed.

      2. ArtsNerd*

        You might be able to ask for accommodations without disclosing the diagnosis! My doctor’s letter just said that I have documented disabilities requiring XYZ accommodations until I asked her to specifically put my connective tissue dx in there since those symptoms get pretty wild and random and i wanted that part of it disclosed.

      3. Gamer Girl*

        Hard agree. I got my diagnosis at 40 and all of the accommodations I had informally became contested, post-diagnosis. It was so strange. I was still exactly the same person, but people hear “ADHD” and immediately think “misbehaving, naughty, doesn’t know anything”… when I had been pulling the weight of the entire team for years (documented! praised! received raises for it and everything!). I threw in my diagnosis because my need for a quiet space was a non optional need after an office reorg and suddenly it was like a switch flipped and certain people began to just distrust me.

        Same thing happened in my personal life with certain people, but that was oddly easier to deal with. “You don’t have that!” is officially my most triggering phrase.

        So, if you need accommodations, don’t say the names. People get so weird about it for no reason.

      4. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

        I agree with this – disclosing sounds good, but very few neurotypical people have the curiosity and openness to learn and be open rather than to snap-judge and rely on stereotypes from the 80s.

        I only disclose to people who share their own neurodiversity, or give off neurodiverse signals – they mention having a kid or spouse who’s ND, they know a lot about fidgets, they have those nonverbal tells – and a need to know. And even then it’s very carefully done.

  13. dulcinea47*

    Generic advice is generic b/c we don’t know what you have problems with specifically. Some people are super bothered by lights, some aren’t. Maybe you’re great at spreadsheets, maybe they pose a real challenge. There’s a huge variety in ADH and LD. It would help to have more an idea of what you struggle with.

    I have loads of coping techniques (I take lots of notes by hand b/c it helps me remember things; I have scheduled “no distractions” time where I close my email etc.; I’m allowed to work from home a small amount and there are certain tasks I prefer to work on at home; & more) but what will work for you varies!

    1. Unkempt Flatware*

      Yes, this is what they are asking for–generic advice so they can see what works for them.

  14. Caramel & Cheddar*

    What kind of advice are you looking for, LW? The stuff you mention is largely sensory and I think specific about how you might personally succeed, but as a new manager are you looking for tips on managing your staff? Communications? Team building? Something else?

    I ask because while these are all things any manager might want tips on, I know that as a neurodivergent manager or even a manager of neurodivergent staff too, there will be an extra layer of things you may want to consider to set both them and you up for success. I have a neurodivergent colleague, for example, who is willing to do team building exercises but only under certain conditions and I imagine that kind of thing would be helpful to know how to navigate as a manager.

  15. Not Jen from The IT Crowd*

    A workplace that is genuinely accommodating! Unfortunately this is hard because it’s usually down to your colleagues more than anything. I’ve personally found having a hybrid job that is mostly from home particularly helpful, so I’ve got better control of my working environment.
    Also, don’t be afraid to use things like ChatGPT to your advantage. I can get really stuck sometimes getting started on something, so I go to ChatGPT and ask for an outline of whatever it is. Once I have that, I’m usually good to go.
    I’ve also found being upfront about my ND with my team is helpful and lets them know I’m a safe space for them to seek support and be open and honest about such things, too, but this may also depend on your workplace and how “safe” it is generally for ND people.

    1. Eldritch Office Worker*

      This is huge and I desperately wish accommodating workplaces were more available to everyone.

      1. Asher (they/them)*

        Remote work has been an absolute gift for compensating for inaccessible workplaces in my case: it lets me control my environment, walk around/stim/stretch/pet my cats, work from the floor, make a schedule that can accommodate for when I have good focus vs bad focus days, etc. I’m late-diagnosed, and finally being able to work remotely has highlighted how truly awful offices were/are for my brain.

        On the concrete level, Outlook tasks and OneNote are how I organize absolutely everything; if it’s not written down, it doesn’t exist. I’m also proactive about getting what structure I can from my supervisor: external structure lets me design my own systems to meet the outcomes needed, with the method of achieving those outcomes being up to me. I’m very lucky that I’m in a role that makes this doable. Wishing you the best!

    2. ArtsNerd*

      I have an ADHD-competent supervisor right now, and I want to cry at how much better work could be if we all had this.

      My prior boss started canceling our one on ones and wondered why my performance and morale cratered when I would be left working from home for weeks without spoken conversation with anyone on staff. I straight up begged him to just have a 10-minute quick weekly call with me, and he couldn’t even do that much. My current boss and I have frequent slack communication as well as several brief check-ins scheduled throughout the week to help keep me from slipping too far off task and rejuggle priorities as needed. We’ll have co-working parties for quiet body-double time.

      It’s just… it’s the best. The absolute best.

  16. bipolarbb*

    I’m not sure how helpful this is, but I have bipolar disorder and my husband has ADHD and I find we both have similar issues with focus and hyperstimulation. Working from home has been a game changer for me. I also start work later in the day because I am not a morning person. I keep a very strict daily to do list that my boss has access to. Finally, this is very individual, but I am extremely open about my diagnosis – I work in the mental health field, so it’s a bit less stigmatized, but I am very loud and open about my disorder and my needs.

    1. Eldritch Office Worker*

      On the same token I work MUCH worse from home and have been able to negotiate more office time than my job description allows (I know that sounds like a weird thing to have to push for but mileage may vary and all that).

      One of the issues with advice for any kind of ND is you may need to do exactly the opposite for your given brain, but I think this kind of advice is great because you’re calling out the root cause is focus and stimulation, which is something people can self-evaluate once the reason has been isolated.

  17. ADHD making six figures*

    I have clinically diagnosed ADHD that I treat with adderall on an as needed basis. The medication is very helpful for focus, but not a miracle drug (you can see focus on the wrong things on Adderall like scrolling on your phone).

    I find that, in my job that requires a lot of reading (hundreds of pages of medical records and financial documents daily), I need to lean in on my ADHD hyperfocus “superpower” which for me usually happens in the afternoon. I start my day in the morning with easier tasks to ease into the workday, but when the afternoon hits that is my time to go full throttle and focus on the harder daily tasks.

    Even neurotypical people can’t focus 100% all the time, so try to give yourself some grace when it comes to focus.

    1. ferrina*

      Even neurotypical people can’t focus 100% all the time, so try to give yourself some grace

      Seconding this. I spent most of my life feeling guilty that I wasn’t productive 100% of the time (this was true both at work and at home). Eventually I realized- no one is productive all the time. It’s not normal to be 100% productive, and the brain needs rest and times of lower productivity!

      One reframing that helped was looking at the outcomes. I spend more time resting, but when I’m productive I get a lot done. My boss is constantly impressed with what I’m able to do. My strength isn’t in being like other people; my strength is a rarer and different talent.

    2. Ellis Bell*

      Omg, same on the hyperfocus reading. It’s completely baffling to some people how I manage to do it. I know a lot of ND people hate the references to a conditions containing a “superpower” when they’re really struggling, but it makes sense to use any you might have in your job, and to not overlook anything that *isn’t* causing a problem. It can be hard to see in ourselves, because we assume all beneficial brain traits are universal.

    3. Mountain*

      My hyper focus is in the morning. I’ve tried to put up signs asking not to be disturbed during these times, but my boundary is not respected. Sometimes someone really does have something that is time sensitive but mostly it is only time sensitive to them (they really want to ask me something that could wait). I should add a note to my sign telling people I’ll be ready to answer non-urgent questions at ___ o’clock.

  18. CS*

    I am so over all the suggestions you find online for ADHD. Fidget toys and headphones do nothing for me. I am also looking for suggestions!

    Here are some small things that help me:

    -I force myself to take breaks. I have my AAM break at 10am when the 2nd post for the day comes out in my time zone ;-)
    -I use the downstairs bathroom so I am getting a change of scenery.
    -I do a few easy tasks first thing in the morning so I start the day out in a positive manner. This also helps me ensure I don’t get a backlog of easy tasks that eventually become impossible because they’re just sitting in my list staring at me.
    -Even though I have a task list in our software, I also use a paper list for things I know are important to get done today. Otherwise they blend in with the less important list.
    -I like to group tasks together. Ex: I’ll do all my calls re. payments, then all my follow-up emails to clients reminding them of what I’m waiting on, then reach out to the next group of clients for the next task, etc.
    -I use a lot of sub-folders to keep my files organized.
    -I walk to my colleagues’ desks instead of phoning/emailing so I can move.

    Most importantly: I keep spare ADHD meds at my desk for when I forget to take them!

    1. MelbaToast*

      I was going to post and saw your comment covered all of the little things I do, too!

      I also make a point to taking my lunch hour and getting a change of scenery. If I sit at my desk for lunch, I end up having a harder time focusing in the afternoon. Also, if lunch hours are flexible, I love taking a 1:00 lunch because the afternoon is “shorter”.

    2. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I do a few easy tasks first thing in the morning so I start the day out in a positive manner. This also helps me ensure I don’t get a backlog of easy tasks that eventually become impossible because they’re just sitting in my list staring at me.

      This is a great idea! I find that easing into work (or home chores) works much better for me than the usually recommended method of getting the hard/worst stuff over with first. Starting with something quick and easy gets me into work mode much more quickly, because a) it makes me dread starting work much less if I don’t have a giant thing waiting for me first thing and b) it’s usually quick win that’ll do wonders for my dopamine levels and make me feel better about myself and feel good about accomplishing something and checking it off my to-do list.

    3. Mid*

      And I’m the opposite—if I take a break when I’m on a roll, I’m done being focused for the day! So I try to only take breaks when I’m switching between tasks, and if I’m in a good flow, I’ll fully skip breaks. I keep snacks in my desk so I don’t forget to eat and don’t have to leave my desk for food. I also have a standing desk and a wobble board so I can move my body while not leaving my desk.

    4. ctrl-alt-delicious*

      Haha yes, the “wow I’m feeling super irritable with all this crap, oh hey, I didn’t take my adderall earlier what a coincidence.”

    5. Pretty as a Princess*

      I have ADHD as well and will add to and plus-up:
      – I take the stairs everywhere (it’s a 5-story building so there’s effort but it’s not exhausting). This gives me a brain break that helps me switch gears for my next meeting/convo.
      – I try to get up and walk a lap around my floor if I feel like I’m not making traction
      – I also prefer a face to face conversation to not only be able to move, but also to minimize the sheer volume of emails/written messages that have to go back and forth.
      – I have a to-do list in a written notebook that I start every week. One page is “administrative” stuff and one page is “technical” stuff. Things get added over the course of the week and the ones that MUST be done that day get a * next to them to help prioritize. If something gets carried for a few weeks because I am procrastinating, then it’s still there in print and I will finally get it done so I can cross it off
      – I too try to group certain tasks together
      – I start my morning visiting AAM, LinkedIn, and professional news sites, ALWAYS. This is in part because I take my ADHD meds right as I walk in. So I do these things first to get my brain in work mode.
      – I have extra little reminders for my own specific gaps: there is a sticky on my desk that says “you have ADHD – check your xyz.”
      – When I have to read something substantial, I *print* it and take it to another surface to read, away from my desk. Part of this is because I need the physical ablity to flip back and forth and scribble notes, to help stuff stick in my brain. The other is that I have learned that if I read everything digitally, it’s too easy to hyperfocus on inserting comments/edits as I go, instead of reading the whole document and focusing on the ideas/concepts/facts.

  19. Baldrick*

    I found someone that I trust as almost a mentor, except that’s not really the best title. I go to them for advice about social and other situations that I’m not sure how to navigate. This is someone who knows some of my flaws, although I didn’t have to give them a diagnosis (in other words I explained how it impacts my work and asked for help in a specific situation initially, and occasionally ask for advice every couple months or so as needed, but I didn’t say “I have autism” as I know people who have had problems sharing their diagnoses at work).

    1. Always Science-ing*

      ^this. Autistic here, I have a trusted colleague/friend at work that is generous with their time and allows me to run things past them when I’m feeling uncertain of if/what’s appropriate.

    2. Hanani*

      YES for me this person is my amazing supervisor, and part of our 1:1s is discussing upcoming Peopling Situations and/or debriefing past ones. I can also bring him email drafts to make sure I have the tone right.

  20. Ann Onymous*

    I’ve got ADHD. Here are some things that work well for me:
    *Break big tasks into small, manageable pieces so you can just focus on tackling the next piece instead of feeling overwhelmed by the entirety of the task.
    *Build little incremental rewards into tasks you find tedious – I’ll sometimes get M&Ms and eat one each time I finish reviewing a page of a document, for example.
    *Have a prioritized to-do list (can be written, digital – find the tool that works for you). This is especially helpful for me when I get interrupted by people asking questions, etc. because I know exactly what task to jump back into when the interruption is done.
    *If a quick task comes up that you can complete immediately, just go ahead and do it. That saves you needing to spend energy and brain space remembering to come back to it later.
    *Commit to actively working on something for a certain amount of time and know that when that time’s up you can take a quick break. (This may not work as well if you’re in a job where you regularly get interrupted).
    *A 5 minute movement break (taking a quick walk or standing up to stretch) can be really helpful when I’m having trouble focusing.

    1. Genevieve*

      Also clinically diagnosed ADHD and all of this works great — I like the pomodoro method for the “active commitment to a certain amount of time” thing. I also sit down on Sunday night and write out my list for the week and try to imagine my way through the different priorities.

      From the AU lens (not AU but many friends who are), the one thing that I encourage people to remember is that for many colleagues, what might feel like pointless chit chat to you has a relational purpose and does constitute work to others. That can be a real clash of expectations if you tend to be a “get straight to the point” type of manager.

      Also, medication for the win for me. But that doesn’t work for everyone.

      1. CeramicSun*

        To add onto the “active commitment for a certain amount of time”, I’ve recently started putting a stopwatch on to track how long I’m in focus and trying to take breaks don’t add up to more than 1/3 of the time I’ve been focusing. The pomodoro method didn’t quite work for me because I will often hyperfocus on what I need to do for roughly 1-3 hours straight and be fine but I have a harder time transitioning between work & breaks.

    2. Paint N Drip*

      re manageable tasks, there is an online set of tools on a website called Goblin Tools – one of the tools breaks tasks down into chunks as you describe

      1. ADHD Goblin*

        I am so excited that someone else mentioned Goblin Tools! I use it religiously to break down tasks into manageable chunks. Even if it is “I opened the website and looked at it,” that still is an achievement and it should be checked off your list! My therapist used to call it “baby steps checklist” where I would list “open laptop” “open web browser” “pull up website” as tasks on my check list that I could mark off. Even if I didn’t ultimately get whatever I needed done, I could still look at my list and see that I had achieved *something.* It may seem super silly (I scoffed at the idea when my therapist first suggested it; now I can’t operate on a bad day without my “goblin checklists”!) but it genuinely helps.

        Personally, I get really bogged down into the productivity trap and feeling awful if I don’t get whatever task it is completed, but having completed *some* steps, even baby steps, even the most basic goblin tasks, can help me feel a lot better overall, and it tends to help me keep going. Plus, the dopamine rush of crossing something off my checklist usually rolled together and then it was all momentum.

  21. Rosalind*

    I have ADHD (not diagnosed until last year, in my mid-30s) and the biggest things that have helped me in the workplace are:
    – My #1: Using a bullet journal to track my daily, weekly, and monthly commitments and appointments – I’ve personally found that paper planning works way better for me, because it removes the distraction of technology, but also using a bullet journal has been a way more effective paper planner for me because there’s more novelty and creativity each week (there’s a great YouTube video on the channel How to ADHD that talks about this too!)
    – Being really matter of fact about my needs – “oh, I have an easier time focusing in a quiet space” etc as opposed to what I used to do, which was just try to deal with the distractions
    – Embracing the way that other people help me feel accountable – I really benefit from body-doubling, so finding a work buddy to work quietly in the same space as me has been helpful.
    – Lean into my periods of hyperfocus. This might not be good for everyone, but for me sometimes I can get 8 hours of work done in an hour, and so I take advantage of that and basically work until I’m not interested anymore. I don’t take scheduled “breaks” because it will mess up my flow too much.
    – Setting micro deadlines that I’ll be held accountable to. It’s really helpful for me to tell someone “Let’s schedule a 5 minute check in next week and see how things are progressing” and then booking that meeting, because it helps ensure I don’t fall too fall behind.
    – Reply to emails right away. Like within 5 seconds of receiving. Otherwise it falls into the pit of my brain and can get lost.

    1. ferrina*

      I love how you phrase your needs: “oh, I have an easier time focusing in a quiet space”. You are focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want, which lets other people know how to support you. You also aren’t making it about your diagnosis, but about your workstyle. This is both relatable to everyone (neurodiverse and neurotypical) and it lets you avoid the unconscious biases around a diagnosis that could impact how people treat you.

      2. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        Here to upvote this comment from ferrina.

        This is also how I do and it tends to work well for me.

    2. Everdene*

      I don’t have a diagnosis of ADHD but meet a lot of the ‘adult diagnosed woman’ stereotypical criteria. I started bullet journaling 3 years ago after a friend handed me a pack of pens, a dotted notebook and a post it saying ‘Google bullet journal’. I now run a home bujo and work bujo and it has been transformational. I describe it as my external hard drive and if it isn’t written down it won’t happen. My bujo habit really helps me prioritise, remember dates and crucially plan rest too. I cannot second your bullet journal suggestion enough.

  22. OP*

    Thanks for posting my question! Turns out half my team has ADHD or Autism so I’m with my people.

    I’ll read through all the comments. If I didn’t respond, know I do read and appreciate it. :)

    1. Jean (just Jean)*

      Thank you, thank you, OP, for submitting your question, and Alison for creating today’s post!

      I feel so seen in reading the comments. Haven’t felt this much clarity since I figured out my own ADD at age fifty-eight (yes, you read that correctly). All of a sudden my whole life, at work and at home, made total sense.

      I will bookmark this wonderful resource for frequent future reference.

      Note to my inner demons: Please be kind. It’s impossible for me to adopt every suggestion immediately, or ever.

    2. PurplePeopleEater*

      For a brief period of time, I was on a team with 6 ND members, 2 NT members, and 1 ND manager. No team is perfect, but certain things just worked so well.

  23. Gwen Soul*

    If this is your first time being a manager there might be other problems that haven’t come up in individual contributor roles where you have more control over the work. Be clear with your reports how you need to work (maybe not the whys unless you feel comfortable) but if there are things that throw you off make sure you let them know so you all can work together effectively.

    They may also have their own needs that are conflicting so be aware. For example I cannot focus on one thing too long so I need lots of projects that I can jump around on to keep engaged, a peer I work with needs to hyperfocus on one thing and asking her to switch up throws her whole day off. Knowing this we set up specific times to talk about projects so she can prep her mind and I know when to go to her.

  24. kiki*

    One thing I do that makes masking more palatable is pretend I am playing a bold leader in a character drama. I find this very fun and I think it’s gone over really well (promotions, praise, etc.)

    I have found that a lot of the advice about “bringing your whole self to work” isn’t realistic for me. In a leader, people prefer the Martin Sheen from West Wing energy I bring over my natural form, which would probably more closely resemble April Ludgate. Who is a beloved character for a reason, but probably would not most people’s first pick as a boss.

    1. Eldritch Office Worker*

      I LOVE this (and bring your whole self to work is incredibly hard for ND people, I wish we could do away with that advice).

      1. ferrina*

        lol, yes! My whole self is a LOT for most people. I’m ADHD and I constantly have multiple trains of thought that move very quickly. I can go from vague concept to full fledged actionable plan in less than 3 minutes, and it’s very overwhelming for some people. I also have some extreme lateral thinking, and while it is extremely helpful in my work, getting raw access to my thinking process is not helpful for most people :D

        1. Massive Dynamic*

          LOL I’ve had to dodge requests for raw access to my thinking process too. Like, let me train you in a normal way on a task. You do not want uncensored access to my brain; it’s too much.

        2. I Have RBF*

          I had one manager tell me “Slow down. Not everyone is as smart as you.” The guy had a masters, I never finished college. But when I’m on a roll, I am like a steamroller, and others need a little more time to follow my trail.

      2. I Have RBF*

        Seriously. My “whole self” has some sharp edges, odd twists, and very strong opinions. Most people can’t handle the whole me. I spend a lot of effort to not be “weird” at work.

    2. Paint N Drip*

      Relatable, and good advice for many. I swear high school theater is the #1 reason I am even remotely employable as an adult

    3. Hillary*

      Yes – I hate the whole self advice. It feeds into the toxic do what you love trope and drives anxiety/stress/burnout.

      We’re all masking to some extent in most interactions, that’s part of the deal with living in a society. We’ve been consciously and unconsciously conditioned to do just that. The only real variable is if we’re self-aware enough to recognize it.

    4. Gamer Girl*

      Yes!!! I do this slightly differently (ADHD) and I specifically select which parts of myself are “on” vs “off” (I used to be a big oversharer and decided that I needed to reform that about myself at work). While I’m on my way in to the office, I think through the things I’m turning on today. For example: do I have the space in my day to take a couple extra breaks and chat, or is that not realistic? If I have a big deadline, I consciously turn “off” my chat switch. I know I will have a difficult conversation with a report, so I think through the different character traits I would like to see if I were the report, then switch those “on” or “off” in my head.

      It’s strange written out (takes longer to write out than to do), but it works for me!

      1. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

        I realized awhile ago that the most popular coworkers are the ones who choose to share 1-3 interests as “their thing” (pets, watching football, cooking, marathons, gardening) and that guides the workplace chitchat.

        One coworker was so friendly, and also incredibly private – but most people completely missed how thoroughly she deflected with amiable jokes and pat anecdotes. She was a total enigma but people thought they knew her, and everyone liked her.

        I’m ND and social skills were acquired with a mental clipboard, and I was taking so many notes. I’m not good at deflecting, I tend to be very literal and answer questions as-is, but watching her helped.

        So did the book “How to Talk to Anyone about Anything” by James Williams, who talked about how to truly listen to people and importantly for me, how we can each shape the direction of a conversation rather than being helpless like a leaf on a stream. It was so helpful! I still re-listen to it when I have a big social thing I’m anxious about.

  25. EttaPlace*

    Autism here. I don’t deal well with unspoken expectations. For example, I once wore ripped jeans and goofy tee to a large breakfast with all of my school district’s administration, superintendent, and school board members. No one told me to dress up, but I knew we would be having breakfast with these people. It just didn’t click to me that I would want to look like my best professional self on that day because it was professional development, no students, and we usually dress down on PD days.

    I also appreciate knowing if people enjoy my company. I often feel like most people don’t like me or don’t get me, so I tend to be more shy and less collaborative when feeling that way. Also, those of us who are high performers often hear good things about their work, but rarely hear good things about who they are in the workplace. There’s a difference between “your work on project X with Casey was great,” and “you and Casey did a great job on project X, and I think Casey really appreciated your willingness to learn a new method for doing Y.” In reality, most people I work with feel positively about me. A lot of folks on the autism spectrum would appreciate that, I think.

    If we’re meeting someone important, I love it when I have talking points ahead of time. Sometimes I know what I want to say, but other times, I’m so grateful for my boss or colleagues talking through what that meeting might look like as well as what things I need to remember or know about who we’re meeting. For people with autism, I think front-loading information and stating expectations makes a huge difference.

    1. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

      Thanks for saying that. I tucked in my brain to give positive feedback.

      I do that already with my kid’s friends – they’re all neurodiverse too, and I figure they likely get a lot more criticism than praise, so I make sure to tell them I’m glad they came over and they’re a nice kid.

      But I’m not sure I do that with coworkers, especially the ones I suspect are ND. Thanks for planting a seed.

  26. DJ*

    Don’t hire a team full of other neurodivergent people. This is a little tongue-in-cheek; I unintentionally did that with my first team, and half the staff had to flame out spectacularly for me to learn my lesson. You can hire kind, empathetic people who are also cool, calm, and collected.

    If you are building your own team or have openings you need to hire for, screen really really well. Have someone who knows you and your work style well sit in, if possible. Be very frank with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses as a manager, and share those with candidates (workshop how to not say it bluntly). There have been several hires or potential hires who could have been great at the job, but would not have succeeded with me as their manager.

    Be open at the start by talking about how the team can help you help them succeed. I start by asking them some pretty direct questions about what they need from you to be able to perform well. I will then supply the “how” to them – what they need to do to get that result from me. For example, they all know that if they try to tell me something important while I’m doing rounds or in an unrelated text thread, I have no chance of remembering it. They need to email me or it doesn’t happen.

    Schedule send your emails when you’re working late, so your staff don’t catch you working odd hours and start thinking they need to be doing that too.

    Make “friends” with HR. You will likely have some missteps where you either gave too much grace or not enough as you start managing. I had a terrible time with absenteeism, for example. Other neurodivergent people + chronic illnesses + wanting to take people at face value = people taking advantage of your flexibility (sometimes) If you have an open dialogue with HR or your supervisor or someone who can help smooth things over, you will be better prepared for when something goes wrong.

    When an issue arises that you can trace back to your own neurodivergence, create a policy to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Example: I can be very terrible about tracking receipts. We recently switched to a new finance system that works so incredibly well for my brain, and has built in mechanisms to punish forgetting. I’ve taken that and re-built it for some other administrative tasks that I struggle with.

    Your job is no longer to do the thing; your job is to clear the path for your staff to do the thing. I’ll repeat myself: YOUR JOB IS NO LONGER TO DO THE THING. Don’t be afraid to let go of certain tasks, if it’s something that your staff are capable of doing and it makes sense in their job description. You don’t need to hold All the Things to make you seem more competent. You’ll likely drop them all and look silly.

    Finally, for the love of God: don’t hold off on releasing information because it isn’t formatted Exactly How You Want. Just get your staff the information they need. I promise, so long as it’s legible, they won’t necessarily care that it’s not perfect.

    1. Meerkat*

      this was pretty negative. “make sure to discriminate against neurodivergent people in hiring” “your neurodivergence is a flaw you must compensate for, unlike normal people’s normal flaws”

      1. DJ*

        Thanks for sharing how it came across to you. I think it’s a little reductionist, so I’d like to add some more context.

        I found that when I was hiring, I would get really excited about people vibing on my same frequency. Half of them ended up having a really terrible time on the team because the same “quirks” we bonded over made me a really terrible manager FOR THEM. When I was re-filling those positions, I worked with my boss (also neurodivergent) to create a rubric that we could use more objectively. We still have plenty of neurodivergency, we just don’t have people who are not going to succeed under me.

        I think that as a neurodivergent person, I’ve had the great advantage of having to spend more time thinking deeply about why interactions are going poorly, changing what I can, and being content with how I proceed forward knowing I’m putting my best foot forward. The OP mentioned being a new manager, I’m sharing the parts of management that slapped me in the face. Literally everyone has flaws that we need to compensate for. I think the earlier we examine how those flaws are actively standing in our way, the happier we’ll be.

        1. ferrina*

          It sounds like you made the classic blunder in hiring- you picked people that reminded you of you, rather than thinking critically about the team make-up. That’s a mistake I’ve seen a lot of managers make. You inadvertently end up with a team of similar experiences/demographic make-up, and it limits the team’s perspective to their own experiences.

          A strong team has people with complementary experiences. Having people who have different reference points and ways of thinking gives the team a wider pool of experiences and knowledge to draw from. Obviously you need to balance that with shared core values and ability to work together, but it’s important to ask “how does this person expand our team’s collective pool of experiences and thinking?”

          1. DJ*

            Yup! And I think it’s an easier trap to fall into when you feel isolated or othered at work, which can be the case with neurodivergency. I have learned my lesson and have steps in place for the future.

          2. Covert Copier Whisperer*

            Yes, this is how I read this, too. It’s a definite trap– I have several people on my team who have brains like mine. For one, we have enough differences that it works really well. For another– we do our best on both sides, but I really think they’d benefit from a manager with more natural ability to give them external accountability on deadlines.
            Now, when I hire, along with evaluation rubrics I concentrate on letting my own personality/style show enough that applicants can evaluate me like DJ mentioned.

        2. Ellis Bell*

          I got it; you were saying to be diverse in your hiring instead of vibing off a doppelganger. It’s very enticing to be reminded of yourself when hiring and it’s not until you realise everyone is super similar and has the same strengths and weaknesses that you see it. When I worked in newspapers the bigwigs called it “Like Us” and would deliberately try to get us to exploit this human failing and only write about people “like” our typical reader (The Daily Mail was held up as the ultimate example). My old boss was scathing about this after every “Like Us” training session; “We are providing information, we need to be all things to all people”.

  27. Roberta*

    Two things- in the larger scheme, a workplace that works for your needs is important. Not everyone can make it happen, but if you know what you need (variety, strict routine, independence v teamwork, etc.) it can help in finding the environment that works for you.

    For my own work, two things that have helped a lot are body doubling and writing everything down (in a notebook, with a pen). Body doubling is simply working in the same space as another person. Something about knowing I am working with other people around helps to make my brain stay in work mode. They don’t even need to be checking my work, just knowing they are there helps.
    Writing things down in a bullet journal or flexible notebook helps me remember details, keep track of my tasks, and keep it all organized in one spot compared to chasing down little notes everywhere.
    Finally, forgiveness for yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes, as humans we all do regardless of how our brains work.

    1. cleo*

      Body doubling helps me too. Even virtual body doubling. There are online tools for this – I use one called focusmate.com. You sign up for a session and are paired with someone for a video chat where you both state what you’re going to work on and then work silently on it. There’s a free version and paid.

      I make a focusmate appointment for Monday morning to help me set up my weekly to do list.

  28. Caramel & Cheddar*

    I’m 99% sure I have ADHD and by job is entirely computer based, so I make sure that all of my notes are digital and searchable using a very elaborate OneNote setup. If it’s not in my notes, it’s not real! I also keep a fairly detailed job manual for myself, that I write as I go and continually add to. This is in part so that if I win the lottery, whoever takes over isn’t completely lost, but it’s also something I consult for myself all the time when I don’t remember how something works or why I do things a certain way.

    A couple of others people have already mentioned working from home as a game changer, but it was a game changer to me too. It dramatically cut down on the number of distractions I have, and although a ping on Teams can divert attention, it doesn’t throw me off nearly as much as someone who is already standing directly in front of me and can’t be ignored until I’m ready to chat. I’m not opposed to small talk in the office (I chalk the time wasted up to being the price of doing business if you want people in the office), but I do find it infinitely easier to avoid lengthy chit chat sessions when I’m at home.

  29. Nannerdoodle*

    ADHD here. I have an electronic to do list and project tracker that is just for me and helps me get my thoughts in order. I use the project tracking feature and calendar in Teams to put all the things I need to do (recurring and one offs) in a tracked system and I can also put the priorities in and I can arrange them into a calendar of when to do them (which helps with some of my time blindness). Included in this are all the “meeting prep” things I need to do before meetings with direct reports (such as reviewing anything I need to talk about with them or anything I need updates on). Anything that I need to do that I hear about from meetings goes on that tracker. Are there other project trackers that say what I need to do? Yes, but I add those things to my tracker with the last piece on my tracker being to update the other trackers. If I need to check 5 different things to figure out what I need to do, I will forget something. If it’s not on this 1 tracker, it doesn’t exist to me basically because I’ll forget. Plus, I get all the happy feelings from checking off tasks.

    I also try to give myself focus breaks, and I arrange my schedule (as best I can) in a way that the times that are most productive to my brain are the times I get to do the hardest of my tasks that require the most focus.

    Also, it can be worth it to think through tasks you do that are just busy work tasks that are necessary but not hard. The ones that can be almost impossible to do if there isn’t a deadline. I see which of those tasks can be used as legitimate growth opportunities for direct reports (not just busy work for them too), and see if it’s possible to have a direct report do at least one of those tasks for a time. Growth for them plus I don’t have to do a task that stalls me out.

    1. Nannerdoodle*

      Another important thing! I do my job in a way that is very “juggle 30 things at once and hop between them as I am thinking about/productive in each area”. This works well specifically for my job and for me. I recognize that this is NOT how a lot of neurotypical people or even other neurodivergent people work. So I try to make sure my direct reports and coworkers who ever have to cover areas of my job when I’m out know that what works for me may not work for them. My systems won’t necessarily be their systems, and as long as the actual tasks are done correctly (some of them in a very specific order, some of them not), it doesn’t matter to me what system they use to get their tasks done.

  30. Jester*

    Give yourself permission to be weird. I’m dyslexic. I’ve added five extra steps to a process we use in my job that probably seems like it makes more work. It doesn’t affect the final product since it’s all on the backend, my colleagues don’t have to do it this way because they have their own processes, and they would definitely wonder why the heck I do it this way, but it works for me. It gives me a chance to slow down to see any mistakes and some extra checks when I don’t see my mistakes.

  31. DivergentStitches*

    I am autistic, suspected ADHD as well.

    I’m easily bored so when I don’t have anything to do, I get into trouble.

    The Outlook to-do task pane is wonderful! I also utilize the Outlook calendar for my personal appointments as well as work, just mark them private. I set reminders for 18 hours before when there’s something I have to do the next morning, for example a dentist appointment.

    I enjoy lo-fi music which has no words, because lyrics are too distracting to me. Chillhop on Youtube is good, or just search lo-fi and there’s lots of channels with long streams of music. It’s just a nice slow music with a beat, usually positive and uplifting (at least it feels like it to me).

    1. late diagnosed neurospicy*

      +1 for “bored easily and getting into trouble as a result”. This one bit me in the face so hard and so many times before I learned I was autistic, and that this was just going to be a Thing that I needed to channel.

  32. K*

    I have ADHD, and so do my daughter and all my siblings.

    I cannot stress this enough: choose a job and a field where your neurodivergent traits are considered an asset, not a liability. Otherwise you will always be like a fish trying to swim upstream.

    My sister is an ER nurse and I work in crisis response; our short attention spans, quick reactions, low patience for BS, and pattern recognition skills are considered such major assets that, for the most part, people are willing to overlook how terrible we are at routine paperwork.

    My brother, by contrast, works (or tries to) in IT and it’s slow torture. He is forever between jobs as his superiors and colleagues get fed up with his inability to sit down, buckle down, and work according to an established plan without constantly trying to improve it and piss everybody off in the process.

    1. Irish Teacher.*

      I may or may not be autistic (definitely not ADHD) and agreed. I’m a learning support teacher who is great at research and paperwork and heck, I get PAID to talk about stuff like history and books at a captive audience all day!!!

      And because I’m good at that stuff, I can get away with off-loading the stuff I’m NOT good at, like interacting with parents, onto colleagues. One of my colleagues told me, “you’re really good at teaching and that’s the important part.”

    2. run mad; don't faint*

      When I have to discuss issues with reports, I write down a list of questions first, so I can figure out (and remember) what I need to ask. I will also research appropriate responses (this site is very helpful for that). I make a written note reminding me to let the other person finish speaking; I’m a bit verbally impulsive and struggle not to interrupt.

      And whenever appropriate, I allow myself the option of saying, “Let me take a few minutes to think this through, then I’ll get back to you.” That allows me more time to turn things over and figure out what other information I may need on a given situation.

    3. Eldritch Office Worker*

      Yes – I work in HR and it’s perfect for my brain. I get to interact with people, I get to solve a lot of problems, I get to be an expert in something (anyone else get a nice little dopamine kick when their ego is fluffed? I’m sure that’s not ND specific but I find it helps a lot with motivation).

      And every day is different. There are throughlines, which is great when I’m lower energy and need some consistency, but it’s never boring.

    4. ferrina*

      Yes! So much yes to this! And there’s different ways to do this- I’ve ended up creating my own job a couple times because my strengths were different than anyone (including me) had anticipated. Lean in to what your strengths are and how they can impact the business. I’ve been invited to meetings that made no sense for my role because my strengths were an asset to the conversation.

  33. Former preschool wrangler*

    ADHD here! former teacher/admin who supervised teaching teams and now a program manager at large non profit.
    Taking a different track here, and offering some advice for working with other humans, especially supervising/managing while neurodivergent.
    As obvious from comments above, most neurodivergent folks know A LOT about how their brain works best, what environment we need, and what makes things nigh on impossible to get any work done. get curious about the same things for your direct reports!
    Even NT folks have learning styles, communication styles etc, and identifying strategies to translate the information in my wonderfully atypical brain into a format my reports understand is incredibly helpful.
    I try to break things down into steps or bullet points in written docs to keep people from getting overwhelmed by the sheer volume of thoughts I have.
    Also, seek and take feedback well, even when it’s embarrassing!!!
    Talk to much in a meeting by accident? don’t personalize it, don’t get defensive, remember that work isn’t personal.
    it’s ok to be quirky and a little offbeat as a manager/supervisor, as long as you show that you are self-aware enough to work with others in good faith.
    Also , the last thing is pay close attention to your stress level and bandwidth before meetings!
    stressed+dysregulated+having to sit still and pay attention= recipe for reacting emotionally or impulsively

  34. LovelyTresses*

    Congratulations on your new role! I’m a manager with ADHD and when I hit a really hard ceiling in my first management role, my therapist suggested an executive coach who specializes in executives with ADHD. My exec coach really helped me identify barriers and techniques to overcome in ways that general advice on the internet could never. Highly recommend! A few things I learned: ADHD is best managed with sleep, diet, exercise, routines and medication (if you’d like). Getting those 4-5 things down are huge. Additionally, there are a few hours a day that I am my most on, so I save my big executive function-y tasks for those hours (usually digging through my inbox or reading a lot of research etc). But mostly, it was really helpful to have someone to talk to about problem-solving WORK/MANAGEMENT issues, with a lens of how might I hack my neurodivergence so solve this, instead of therapy where I was always talking about my feelings. Good luck!

    1. Ellis Bell*

      I know it’s not technically work advice, but once I got sleep, exercise and routines down everything improved at work too. I’d say you need the routine first, then comes sleeping, and then comes enough energy for exercise (still working on that last one some days though)

    2. Jules the First*

      I was going to say that a work coach was invaluable when I stepped up (and bless my head of L&D who got me another one when he noticed my webcam angle was carefully concealing a bump) in working through all the different components of my specific job and spotting the potential hiccups and pitfalls and brainstorming solutions that would work for me. She also did a great job of holding me accountable for at least trying to implement them.

  35. AndHisHorse*

    I’m a big fan of the Getting Things Done system (https://gettingthingsdone.com/). It’s pretty adaptable to whatever set of tools you want to use; in my personal life I use an app (https://facilethings.com/), but at work I use Google Docs and Sheets.

    For those who don’t want to buy in to the whole philosophy, the most important insight I want to communicate is that identifying a need for something to be done, figuring out what exactly to do about it, and doing the thing are all separate tasks. Jot down a note “Alice asked me to figure out what to do about Bob’s Teacup Project running behind schedule” when you read the email from Alice, figure out which documents to review to get an idea of team capacity later, and do the reviews at some point after that.

    Bundling them introduces risks. Bundling “capturing” and “clarifying” might mean putting off recording that something has to be done until you have time to plan about it, or rushing the plan because you’re in the middle of capturing a bunch of things or have to rush to your next meeting. Bundling “clarifying” and execution can push you into switching between planning and implementation in ways that leave it unclear what you’re supposed to do or, importantly, what “done” looks like. GTD makes further recommendations beyond this, including how to store and reason about items which aren’t immediately actionable, but I think that’s the core idea.

    1. ADHD*

      +1 for GTD! I like Todoist for this because it has an “inbox” where I can stash things like “figure out what to do about new project” and clarify the next action when I process my inbox later (I do this weekly, but depending on your kind of work this may be daily.)

    2. Generic Name*

      This is a great system! But don’t be afraid to change or update your systems as you change jobs and move through your career. When I was primarily doing technical tasks on projects, GTD worked great. It was a really good tracking system to keep track of what I needed to do and what I had completed on different projects. When I moved into project management, it stopped working so well because I had to track stuff that other people were doing. I think the key is *write stuff down* and don’t try to rely on memory alone.

      1. Paint N Drip*

        the GTD concept of ‘get it out of your head’ has been perhaps the single most profound tip for ND brains at work that I’ve ever learned

  36. dude, who moved my cheese?*

    First, I pick jobs and projects that are a good fit for me (detail-oriented, independent work with clear guidelines and deadlines — no complex social situations with unspoken rules and thinking on your feet about how to respond).

    I work well with templates, examples and scripts. If I were starting a people manager position (which would be a good sign that I’ve been abducted by aliens and replaced by a body double) I would take some trainings and get a sense of the structure, schedule and tools I want to use in managing. I’ve heard good things about The Management Center’s trainings and templates. I would also make sure that my own manager was available to regularly give me clear, direct feedback.

    Also? Therapy to have a safe, confidential space to unpack work-related anxieties and unhelpful thought patterns so I’m not bringing those TO work.

    1. dude, who moved my cheese?*

      Sorry, last thing — this came from an Austin Kleon illustration I can’t find right now — “it doesn’t need to be perfect. it just needs to be done.”

  37. Squirrel chaser*

    Build flex into your schedule, and do not let yours and others’ expectations of your productivity be set at your max focus. Knowing there is a crash coming after those hyper-productive highs is very important, and trying to think of your productivity on an averaging scale helps offset the shame that used to come with a productivity crash. To that end, try to save some of that hyper focus work to send out or submit or roll out on a day you have less energy! Tell your reports very specifically that you welcome, encourage, and need reminders, and that they never have to worry about seeming impatient or impolite in following up. Resist the urge to personally accomplish every request- empower your teams to get what they need themselves to the fullest possible extent, so they are less impacted by procrastination issues and your part in the tasks is usually much smaller than you imagine if you can just get out of your teams’ way, also freeing you up to do the things they can’t do without you.

  38. The Coolest Clown Around*

    I have ADHD, and work in a quasi-management role, and there are a few things that make both pieces a little easier:
    – Make time for each of your direct reports weekly or bi-weekly, but have this be super structured and to a set time. I really like ManagerTools one-on-one rules: they talk for 15 minutes about whatever they want, and then I have 15 minutes to cover whatever questions I need answered. Anything that would take longer than that gets it’s own interaction at another time. I literally set a timer for this, and I don’t make exceptions for either party.
    – Structure your distractions. I find it really challenging to work on something boring or complicated for long stretches, so I knock out as much as I can first thing and then move to a more interesting or easier task for an hour, then switch back and forth. I have windows of “interruptable” time that everyone knows about, and the rest of the time I’m “in a meeting” with myself. I also turn off email and IM notifications during times I really need to knock something out.
    – Strategic caffeine use. This is for my focus times, and my focus times ONLY.
    – Find something to do with your hands during meetings. During internal meetings (not one-on-ones) I crochet, and during external meetings I take overly detailed notes. I then summarize any key takeaways or tasks at the bottom, and immediately add them to my to-do list (for me) or email them out (for my team) when that’s appropriate. This also means everybody should be on the same page about what they need to know and what’s expected of them. For one-on-ones, I ask my reports to send me an email summary sometimes.
    – All meetings you control have an agenda and a clearly defined purpose. If you catch yourself or your team straying off-topic, just redirect back to those and anything extra can be it’s own email/conversation later.

  39. Not So Little My*

    I have lots of thoughts on this (Autistic senior software developer) but I’m on my phone and can’t type that much. But I use the “me” Slack channel to externalize my “next steps” in a multi-step process I’m hyperfocusing on, to remind myself of To Dos I need to defer until after the thing I’m hyperfocusing on, and to leave myself notes at the end of the day (especially Friday) so I can pick up again without as much transition friction the next work day.

    1. ferrina*

      AI can also be helpful in externalizing. I’ve used LLMs in brainstorming, figuring out next steps, and better articulating the buzz of thoughts in my brain (I’m ADHD). You can also ask AI to help you figure out what question to ask next- “I want to create a chocolate shop that specializes in teapots made for llamas. What are five questions that customers will ask about my shop?”

      *usual caveats about AI. AI can summarize, but is only as good as the data that’s put in. Many AIs also can use the prompts that you put in for training and other uses, so never put proprietary company data into AI (unless you know that it’s allowed, for example, your company has purchased AI that has secured data practices).

  40. Jen*

    I second a LOT of this. I likely have ADHD and it has taken me a long time to find out the best things to do, especially when I transitioned to work with lots of long-term projects. I couldn’t get into bullet journals but I LOVE my Panda Planner, which was originally created by someone with a brain injury, anxiety, depression, and medical issues that made it hard to focus and organize. I use it religiously for work, and taking 10 minutes at the beginning of each day and 20-30 minutes on Monday morning to review, break down projects,, and write my to-do list is life changing. It is also a good place to write stuff down when people tell you something.

    I have also leaned in to the fact that I am generally either engrossed or really distracted, and when I get engrossed I just go with it, and I don’t beat myself up if I spend time to staring out the window another morning, or doing a rote task like folding laundry – particularly because ALL brains need time to relax. It helps that I work from home! I also work great on deadlines so I started giving myself deadlines on everything, and interim deadlines when I need to get pieces done by.

  41. LateADHDandAdapting*

    I am definitely following this, as a late-diagnosed combination ADHD person.

    Would love to hear how people who work in multiple locations manage their organizing and keeping track of tasks. I like having a white board with projects on it, but because I work in three locations (home, local office and city office) it’s hard for me to transport something like that, and space in city office is limited. And I’m such a visual person!

    1. CeramicSun*

      Same here but I’m a student. If I’m on campus, any tools would need to be portable or digital. I think I’m on digital planning tool #4 now bc I always forget to write things in my physical planners. I’ve tried Google calendar/tasks (since the class schedule is already on there), X-tiles, Focumon (for gamifying focus sessions), and the default reminder app on my phone/iPad.

    2. Covert Copier Whisperer*

      OneNote! Or equivalent if you use a different software package. If I’m in the office and taking paper notes, I scan them as soon as I’m done with a meeting and drop them into OneNote. I can take pictures of physical white boards and ditto.
      I use it in conjunction with Microsoft’s to-do list; I can flag a note on One Note as a to-do and it’ll populate on my task lists across Office.

    3. Squirrel chaser*

      Check out Mural- it’s like an extremely free form digital whiteboard with lots of sticky notes and shapes and slide and sectioning options! It’s not my bag but my org uses it extensively

    4. Ellis Bell*

      Hmm, do you mean paper over screens? I use an A4 chunky disc bound planner that I designed myself using templates (from onestopteachershop). Lots of bright colours, seasonal decorations scattered throughout the calendar section, I punch a sticker sheet so I can apply those in key places, I have good sticky notes the transparent ones to overwrite things and the kind with a full sticky back that stay put, and I have different coloured pens and Sharpies for my dot grid pages ( the colours I carry mean different things depending on my latest key…. is that the kind of thing you mean? If it is you’ll need a backpack or bag that can hold it, a printed out planning system, discs, disc punch, lots of stationary and pen loops in your backpack (I also really like those pencil cases that turn into pen cups).

    5. Annie*

      For a portable/collapsible version of your whiteboard, try the following search terms:

      dry erase whiteboard paper

      retractable whiteboard

      Zipboard whiteboard (This brand may be too small)

      Magnetic dry erase roll up whiteboard

  42. RagingADHD*

    Everyone’s particular profile of traits is different and presents different challenges depending on the type of work you do and the circumstances you work in. Many neurodivergent traits are strengths in one context and weaknesses in others.

    I would suggest that the top priority is understanding yourself and how your strengths and weaknesses impact your work. I found the book “Smart but Scattered” by Dawson and Guare very helpful, even though it is written for parents of ND kids. It gives some really helpful assessments and charts to understand what your executive functions actually do, and how clusters of strong/weak functions tend to work together. (It also points out that ND is usually hereditary and prompts parents to examine their own coping methods). The work-oriented version, “The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success,” has more anecdotes. That was interesting, but I did not find it as helpful/applicable.

    The second book I recommend isn’t about neurodivergence, but a mental shift in thinking about designing your own work processes and work environment: “Work Clean” by Dan Charnas, which applies principles of professional kitchens to any type of work, including efficiency of movement, investing time to pre-prepare for complex tasks, and analyzing your work process for improvements.

    Here are a couple of examples from my own life where I was able to apply some of this learning: I was very slow and making a lot of simple errors in working from notes or doing data entry. By learning more about which executive function does what, I realized that my working memory is extremely weak. The impact of that is that I can look at a list, source document, notes, etc on my desk and literally forget what I just read by the time I find my cursor onscreen.

    A practical change was to use side-by-side screens or a document holder right next to my working screen. Being able to minimize the distance my eyes have to travel, or even keep both source and destination in my sightline at the same time, greatly increased my speed and reduced errors. It also helped me overcome embarrassment about what I “should” be able to do or over using “childish” methods — if I’m doing very detailed work while tired or it’s noisy, I am now more comfortable using my fingers to follow along and compare source to destination, or read aloud.

    Which relates to my second example: talking out loud to myself helps me stay on track with a lot of things, because things inside my head are amorphous and shift around, while things outside my head stay in one place. But of course, that’s not appropriate in all working environments. One of the reasons I can concentrate better if I have a private space with a door is that I don’t have to worry about bothering other people. If I’m in a cube or a non-private space where I can’t mutter, then it helps to work with paper as much as possible because it is external and tactile and helps with that “outside my head” aspect more than digital information does.

    Even if my examples don’t seem relevant to you, I encourage you to read the books. There are a lot of different takeaways for different people.

    1. Gamer Girl*

      Your example about the notes is spot-on! At work, I’ve eliminated this problem entirely by being a very good touch typist (all those typing classes back in the day, coupled with a desire to be the fastest are actually a godsend these days!)

      But at home, this problem strikes me hard! I carry a notepad that is permanently attached to me (necklace style or pocket chain, otherwise I will lose it and will spend lots of time looking for it, until I forget what I’m looking for because I get distracted). It is my external brain! When I am telling my husband what I’m about to go do, he now knows to prompt me to write down what I said I was about to do before I exit the room. Otherwise, whatever the task was will be forgotten immediately!

      My work version of this is: during one on one meetings with new reports, I tell them to ensure I continue taking notes and to just ask me “did you write that down?” if I don’t write down something they’ve told me that I need to remember. It took me years to realize that externalizing immediate tasks to the notebook was the only way I wouldn’t forget what I was about to do the second I walked out of the room. And once I got on this example, it works very well for direct reports: I tell new reports it’s the equivalent of making sure your server at a restaurant writes down your order. I respect you, servers, but if you don’t write it down because you are “going to remember and it takes too much time to write it down”… that is a trap I know all too well! It takes a couple seconds to say, “oh hey, did you write that down?” that will pay massive dividends and I will be beyond grateful for the reminder! Far more humiliating for me to have to go back, say, “I know you told me something important, but I didn’t write it down, and now I don’t remember what it was!”

      Acknowledge it as a memory problem because of too many requests flying around, being very busy and needing to capture things in writing no matter how small, a conscientiousness quirk, or an efficiency aide from some bullet journal guru. I don’t advise mentioning directly that you have AuDHD, as it’s backfired for me in the past the symptoms should be enough on their own. As long as you follow up and do the things you noted, people will keep following this system of politely asking you “by the way, did you write that down?”

  43. AuDHD in the workplace*

    AuDHD person here. These are a few things I try to do:

    1. If remote/ hybrid (I’m remote), keep my camera off and encourage camera off meetings (whenever possible, of course). There’s something about not having to look at people while talking that makes it easier for me to stay engaged. It allows me to do more of my “fidgeting” activities such as coloring or even playing games on my phone.

    2. Keeping a notebook open in front of me at all times to jot down random thoughts/ things I forgot to do/ new tasks that someone assigns me, etc. I will eventually move those items to a to- do list I keep on my computer, but there’s something about having the notebook in front of me that reminds me to write it down. People always gave me advice to “write it down so you don’t forget”, but I always seemed to forget to actually write something down, haha. Having the notebook there in front of me helps prompt me to remember to write things down (most of the time).

    3. Probably more general advice than neurodivergent related, but this helps my autism a lot too. Figure out what motivates/ spurs action in each person you work with. There’s an intersection there where you need to figure out both what the team that person works with cares about and what that person individually cares about. For example, if the team cares about revenue impact, make sure you understand which revenue bucket they care about. If the team might cares more about customer satisfaction, you need to understand how they measure customer satisfaction. Individually, some people care about recognition, so you want to make sure you understand who they want to be recognized by. Others care more about impact, so you need to clearly state how your ask will help them make a big impact. Making sure I understand the people around me in this way allows me to communicate much more effectively with them.

  44. Data Bear*

    The thing our neurodiversity employee resource group keeps telling management is: Different People Need Different Things.

    So keep that in mind when reviewing these tips!

    One thing me & a coworker (both ADHD) have found really helpful is body doubling. We both work hybrid, and on the days we’re in the office together, we have a standing meeting where we get together in the same physical space and work side-by-side. Sometimes it’s a thing we need to collaborate on, but often we focus on the tasks we don’t want to do.

    It works great, I think in part because the time is limited – makes it easier to knuckle down if you know it’s only for an hour.

  45. Victoria*

    I haven’t tried implementing this at work yet, but at home when I have competing tasks I do one for a set period of time then the next (even if the first isn’t finished) and back and forth.
    I clean the house as if I were doing circuit training: 15 minutes in the kitchen, 15 minutes in the bathroom, 15 minutes in the living room. And then back to the kitchen. It keeps me from getting lost in the details of one room (and say defrosting the freezer before the clutter is picked up in the living room). At some point, when time is running out, it becomes clear what absolutely has to be finished.
    When I need to write something and clean the kitchen, I’ll write for 45 minutes, then clean for 15 minutes, then back to writing. Eventually one task is finished and then I concentrate on the other. Or one task needs to be finished and I ignore the other.

    1. Rock Prof*

      This is how I get grading done when I have multiple assignments. I’ll grade quiz A for 10-15 minutes, then some papers for 10-15 minutes, etc. It really helps to see some chunks get finished and then completing one always feels like a pleasant surprise.

  46. Smiling Politely*

    ADHD / suspected Autistic person here

    My biggest challenge is staying focused and regaining focus when inevitable distractions come up. (I’m in a role where I have to be available for questions from coworkers and customers.) My biggest help with this is handwritten lists. First I list what I want or need to accomplish, then I estimate how long each will take, then prioritize in whatever way is logical – usually a combination of urgency + amount of time. I try to interweave easy/quick tasks with the more difficult ones, so I can feel a sense of accomplishment that keeps me motivated.

    Don’t be afraid to experiment to find what works. Maybe lists help, but electronic lists are better for you than handwritten. Or maybe you find you need to block out time in the mornings or afternoons for uninterrupted focus. Take time to examine what motivates you.

    I’m looking forward to seeing the other comments to maybe find some more tips for myself. :)

  47. Ssssssss*

    Things that have helped me:
    *Be willing to change organizing systems when the current one no longer works. It happens! Eventually your brain will tune out your system or decide it’s a hassle. It’s totally okay to say, “this system doesn’t serve me any more” and switch to a new one.
    *If you’re in the office, get away from people every once in a while. I’ll take the long way to the mailroom to get in a little walk and let my brain bounce around without other people Right There, and it makes it much easier to make it through the last few hours of the afternoon.
    *Build systems to make sure your physical needs are getting met (food, water). It’s easy to forget or ignore those, but keeping on top of them will make it easier for your brain to function. Right now keeping a really big tumbler of water with a metal straw (silicon tips on both ends for no annoying clinking) keeps me drinking enough.
    *Give yourself grace and try again tomorrow if your brain just isn’t braining sometimes. If you had a subordinate say, “I’m sorry, I’m trying but I just can’t focus on this thing today due to ADHD/other health issue,” you would be sympathetic and figure out what you could do to help right? So, extend that sympathy to yourself too.
    *Working at 100% at all times is not sustainable. It is not a real expectation. Let that lie go free and save your 100% for the times it’s actually needed.
    *You got where you are because you are good at what you do. No one is going to suddenly yank it back without warning.
    *Never assume you’ll “just remember that thing” – write it down, take a photo, take a voice memo, do something, or it will disappear into the void. I’m sure you already know that one, but every once in a while we all like to tell ourselves that lie :)

  48. My Name Is*

    Hihi! Underdiagnosed and high-masking here; GAD diagnosed, ADHD suspected, probs a touch of the ’tism too. There’s already a TON of good advice here, and I saw that you have a ND team too (yay! mine is also pretty darn ND, which while it comes with its own challenges, means we can be pretty blunt about issues when they arise). I want to add, if you’re someone who is a high-masker OR your role will require a lot of masking (esp. if it’s at a higher level than you’re used to), to start scheduling in downtime/unmasked time/activities to balance those out. For example, if you have to run or participate in a retreat, schedule time into the retreat for introversion/unmasking, but also make sure that you have recovery time that evening AND there is a lot of time in the next few days where you won’t have to be in situations that require high masking. I try to schedule in hyperfocus/special interest time ASAP after these, as they help me bounce back. People mentioned flexibility, and that’s important here too; build flexibility into your schedule so that you can move things around to get that decompression when needed.

    Anyway I’m going to go dive into the rest of the commentariat because I bet there’s advice I can use as well :D

    1. A Person*

      As someone who just had to run an onsite 100% on recovery time in the evening. I had to literally just crash on the couch all evening BOTH days after team activities / dinners. Despite expecting to be exhausted, I wasn’t prepared for just how exhausting it would be.

  49. ADHD*

    AS someone with ADHD, I can say that you must protect your sleep habits like your life depends on it. Get the full 8-9 hours, and be super consistent in your bed and wakeup times. Anything less than that, and your executive function will drain away and you will get caught in an endless cycle of being unproductive-stressing and staying up late to get things done. It will spiral out of control way too easily.

    1. Seal*

      Establish bedtime and morning routines as well. Lay out your clothes (including underwear and socks) and pack your lunch the night before. Get yourself ready the same way every morning (e.g. shower, get dressed, feed the cats, eat breakfast, grab your stuff, leave) so you don’t have to think about it every day.

      My cats know they’re not getting fed until I take a shower and get dressed, so they wait semi-patiently in the bathroom and zoom to the kitchen when I’m done. But if I oversleep or something disrupts my morning routine (and theirs) the whole day is shot.

    2. Flor*

      Exercise, too! I’m autistic rather than ADHD, but I really notice a difference in how frazzled and scatter-brained I feel if I’m not lifting consistently compared to if I am.

    3. Mid*

      Ugh yes. I’m caught in one of those cycles right now and it’s ROUGH. Exercise is super super important for me. If you like a lot of diversity in your exercise, ClassPass can be a good way to try out a lot of different exercise classes. I found that I like classes more than self-directed workouts because that’s less executive functioning needed. I also absolutely need to workout in the mornings before work, not after.

      I’ve also found that semi-flexible routines work better for me (so I don’t get bored) by setting up a routine I can do in any order. (Eg morning routine is gym, shower, eat, pet cats, 15 min of scrolling time. I can eat, gym, cats, shower, scroll, or gym, shower, scroll, eat, cats, or pretty much any other combo (except showering comes after the gym), and I still get all the things done in the timeframe I need, but the variety helps it be more interesting.)

      Also not letting my sleep schedule dramatically differ from weekends to weekdays was a big help! I’ll stay up like 1-2 hours later, and wake up within an hour of my normal time always. I used to wake up at 5am on weekdays and then sleep until 10am on weekends and it was a constant struggle.

  50. nee: email settings*

    ADHD: Don’t be afraid to keep trying new systems. For me, it’s a paper planner where I write out my schedule for the day. I do this during my daily call with my admin (I am also a manager) which helps me get started for the day and sometimes I turn into a working call so we’re just virtually body doubling doing our own work. It helps me focus and she benefits too, even though she doesn’t need it. (I’ve checked in with her on it.) This was a real game-changer for me. I also do little rewards for myself with my planner–I have stamps and stickers I use every day.

    Also get a job that works with your brain. I love management because stuff is always coming at me, but sometimes I get to do deep dives into stuff. I say all the time that I would do poorly in a job that was self-directed.

    I color on calls where I may have to take notes (easy to write with the coloring utensil) and I’ll do diamond painting on calls that are long where I need to pay attention but won’t need to take notes. I also do those picky pads too. If I have to stay camera-on I may use MS paint to “color” on my screen.

  51. CM*

    As others have said, it really depends on your specific issues. For me, the interpersonal stuff was not intuitive, and what I have found most valuable over the years is learning how to communicate in a clear and friendly way. Chat for a minute and ask “how are you” before launching into work, or if you launch in, ask a friendly question at the end. When you ask for something, explain why you are asking so it’s not interpreted as you being hostile.

  52. RIP Pillowfort*

    Diagnosed ADHD with strong suspicion I’m autistic as well.

    You need to look at what your job needs you to do and how to make your ADHD work with those tasks.

    1. I absolutely need some kind of background noise to drown out my own brain at times. What noise it is (white noise vs. music/podcast) isn’t important. So noise cancelling headphones make my problems focusing worse. Conversely my daughter loves her noise cancelling and it helps her focus. At work, the building is super loud so it’s not a problem. If I’m working from home I need some music or a podcast on.

    2. I have a tracking system that works for me. You have to find what works for you. I deal with a lot of scheduling and work deadlines. I have my own internal system I use and I set my deadlines tighter than they need to be so I know they’ll get done in time. This internal tracking system is a trial and error process. I settled on using OneNote as kind of a per week schedule to-do list for any reports and work I have. I also keep a running tab of information for meetings/discussions based on work.

    3. My job entails switching focus on tasks constantly and dealing with vast knowledge of procedures/figuring out solutions. That’s great for me because I really understand the procedures of my workplace, the subject matter I deal with, and can logic out solutions. If there is a task you know you will struggle with and it’s appropriate to delegate? Absolutely do that.

    4. Knowing what you will struggle with because there’s always something. I struggle with in-person interactions like training and writing long reports (longer than 2 pages). I have to find strategies to ensure these are not going to be a problem. I make sure I have prepared what I will say for in person meetings (I do dry runs in my head) and I break up any paperwork tasks that take a long time.

    5. Do not beat yourself up if you have a bad focus day. I have those occasionally and I beat myself up because I’m not as productive as I think I should be. However when looking at the actual metrics- I’m insanely productive on average. So no one but me really clocks the focus issue but me.

  53. Jojo*

    Congrats on the new job!

    I have learning disabilities and my personal motto is to know my weaknesses. I cannot spell and it’s pretty bad. In the early days of my career, I kept a spellers dictionary in my desk drawer. Now, spellcheck handles that. (Unless I misspell a word so bad that it can’t figure out what I’m trying to spell.) I do sometimes have to type while sharing or projecting my screen, and that allows people to see my mistakes, but I’ve made a point to be very proficient with spell check and I correct words with squiggles quickly, so that the one person who must always be right doesn’t have time to point it out. I also tend to transfer my letter problems to the keyboard, so I frequently mix up Bs and Ps. (b and p are just the same picture flipped.) If I’m sharing my screen, I make a point to slow down my typing to try and avoid my common trip ups. And, if something I’m writing is going to someone important, I have a few proof readers who know what my deal is and are willing to proof read for me.

    I know a lot of people use headphones to help with attention, but it doesn’t work for me. Music and podcasts are just more words going into my head, and I already have enough words in my head. When I was working from home, I would use earplugs to block out my husband’s voice coming from his office.

    Self care is a big one for me. I spend a lot of time masking at work, and it’s exhausting. I use crafting and walking as ways to let my brain work through all the words in there and to relax and just be myself for a little while.

    This is not something that will help you, but I’ve been in my job for several decades, and have a pretty good reputation for good work. When someone catches one of my mistakes and calls it out, I will normally say it’s because I have learning disabilities, make my correction, and move on. My goal is to help normalize learning disabilities, and demonstrate that many people can be very successful in their jobs even with LDs. Once you become proficient in this new job, if you have any opportunity to do that, I think it would be good for all of us if you feel safe enough to do so.

  54. mo*

    Following the hell out of this thread, and an ADHD + Autistic manager. I don’t have a magic solution, but you do have my solidarity!

  55. Manders*

    ADD/Asperger’s here. I have a lot of aesthetic desk accessories and stationary. This somehow helps me want to keep my desk tidy and clean.

    I have a big, beautiful ‘to do’ list pad on my desk that I rewrite twice a day so everything is fresh. While I do keep due date type stuff on it, I try to keep the majority of tasks small enough that I can check off several of them in a day and get that rewarding feeling of getting things done.

    I have a white board/bulletin board combo.
    – On the bulletin board I have printed out tasks that are routine but multi step. Like receiving a chemical is not hard but has things that I could forget and only happens in batches every other month or so, so I have an order receiving task list that says to write the date on the product, add chemical to inventory, circle the right things and sign the shipping slip, update the orders/receiving form, etc.
    – On the white board I have reminders for that week, organization tables and a temp order list.

    On my phone I have multiple quiet alarms that go off that tell me to add certain things to my to do list according to day/week/month. I have alarms every few hours to just tell me what time it is and alarms to tell me it’s getting close to leave and then to leave. I have terrible time awareness.

    For me, personally, using software organizers doesn’t work so I use paper ones. They are, again, aesthetic, and they have to be out and viewable. If tucked away, I won’t think of them at all. I still use a few Microsoft calendar/emails to myself for yearly reminders and super important due dates and meetings. But for day to day tasks, it’s all paper stuff.

    I get a little overwhelmed sometimes so I make sure I have backup tasks I can switch to to take my mind off whatever task is frustrating me. As soon as I’ve processed whatever that was, I go back to the main task. Sometimes I break down the overwhelming task to smaller and smaller bites, think about what I need to do, go do an unrelated task to remove any lingering stress, and then finally start working on the overwhelming task. Sometimes I just need to keep switching back and forth. If I lack other tasks to do, I might just go to the bathroom and read a novel on my phone for a bit. I know better than to let my stress keep building because then I tend to just shut down a bit and everything takes even longer. :)

  56. anon for this*

    I’m autistic and one thing that’s really helped me succeed has been telling basically everyone that (1) I really want feedback, positive and negative, and I’m very willing to listen to it, and (2) feedback needs to be straightforward/direct, I won’t pick up on hints. This means I can let myself off the hook for watching for hints, which sends me into an anxiety spiral and I’m incredibly bad at anyway, and still be assured that I will find out if/when I need to know there’s an issue. This does depend on working with people who aren’t passive-aggressive jerks, but that’s a whole other problem.

  57. Always Science-ing*

    Thank you for posting this question Alison!! I unfortunately won’t have time to share my personal approaches today (busy day), but am really looking forward to discovering new ideas/approaches from other ND commenters!

  58. Disorganized Librarian*

    Two things that have helped me (see my username) is 1) A weekly hour by hour schedule. I found a free template on Canva and I keep the tab open constantly to check and see. This helps me break down big tasks into smaller chunks that I spread out throughout the week. This also helps me say “yes, I will work on that tomorrow at 2pm.” So it gives clear expectations on when someone can expect me to be done with it. Also, it is a great way to visualize my work load. If I have more tasks than time slots, I have too much going on. 2) Over a week or so, if you feel yourself have a burst of energy or lethargy, write down what time that happened. After a while, you can look and see if there’s a pattern of a time of day you’re particularly productive or unproductive, then you can schedule your tasks and meetings accordingly!
    These have helped me so much and turned me from a frazzled “Oh shoot I forgot to do that again!” to one of the most productive workers on my team!

  59. MaskedMarvel*

    I have adhd and my shrink wasn’t 100% prepared to say I wasn’t on the spectrum.
    Things that helped
    1) Getting the right job. I work as a solutions engineer, explaining our tech to prospective buyers. Lots of change, problem solving, missing small details generally doesn’t matter. I don’t get bored. my father suggested I work at the tax officem I would have got bored and sucked at it.
    2) I viewed interacting with people as a skill. The sales people were kind of at a loss if people didn’t want to talk about sports teams or golf. I know a decent amount about a few things, so could talk math, chemistry, literature, and frankly have worked on being charming.
    3) The fact that I’m probably on the spectrum allowed me to get to the point duspassionately quickly, without a lot of wishful thinking.
    4) Medication. I’m hopped up on methylphenidate as I write this.

    still issues… I’m pushing my boss to understand that the supposed benefits of in office “collaboration” were offset by the numerous distractions

  60. Brenda of all Trades*

    I haven’t seen anyone else mention this: Automate what can be automated! If you have a reoccurring Something, use whatever programs at your disposal to schedule/remind/submit/file/pay whatever it is. If you have employee reviews every quarter or year, have outlook schedule it; it can always be moved about from there. If a TPS Report is due every week, automate a reminder to file it however works best for you.

    In our ADHD workplace & household, the things that fall through the cracks are the ones that can’t be automated easily.

    1. Gamer Girl*

      Yes! This is what saved me when I started managing: automate weekly meetings, automate reminders about weekly tasks that you somehow forget to do every. single. week.

      I also set a “slow down” and “hard stop” reminder 10 and 5 mins before meetings to prevent me being late because I have a hard time transitioning between tasks ( and I forget to go to the bathroom when I’m hyperfocused. Just the way my brain works!) It is morally neutral and accepting that is much easier than being hard on myself!

      I found ways to automate meetings and tasks within our systems and then trained my team how to do it and then assigned each of them to train the people we work with most. Soon, all of our internal customers had automated most what everyone was just “remembering” to check on/pass on to the next team, and we got way more done with way less frustration! Basically: think about it as accomplishing the task in the laziest way possible. Same meaning as efficiency, but way more fun than that, and I get more creative ideas!

      Final and ultimate tip: If you need to do busy work reports that no one will ever check but you need to do them for… reasons… make sure you actually do them. Do the report, but find a way to do it that is as copy pastable, automateble as possible. If someone has a problem with it, they will tell you, but as long as you can prove that you sent the dreaded busywork on time, that is the most important thing about doing it (turns out: you can send the summary report that already exists within the management tool as your report with a single line: “For Team X, Q4, see attached. Best.” and no one will question it. In fact, most of the other managers, except for the one who refuses to use the mandatory management tool and is the root cause of the reports, will start doing the same!)

  61. Human Embodiment of the 100 Emoji*

    As someone with ADHD, I think one of the important things for me was to accept that systems that work for everyone else may not work for me, and that’s ok. I was constantly trying these standardized systems (pomodoro, bullet journaling) that people suggest for ADHD, but found it impossible to follow strict parameters without getting bored. Eventually, I just realized that a blank lined journal in which I can change up the format whenever I want and allowing myself to switch from task to task when I get bored, even if the workflow wouldn’t “make sense” to other people, works best for me. This may not work for everyone with ADHD, but it works for me.

  62. Temperance*

    Advice from my ADHD spouse: build in movement breaks, consciously. You can do this inconspicuously in most workplaces, just go get coffee on a different floor or go to the far away supply closet. Instead of doing laps on your floor.

    1. Bruce*

      Great advice! I have a kid who is a pacer, I do it myself sometimes. A good walk is better for clearing the mind…

    2. spicy brain crew*

      Yes! I also just brought in a balance board to the office and am enjoying my standing desk SO MUCH today.

  63. Murfle*

    Fellow ADHDer here! I use lots of documentation as a scaffold for my brain.

    I take heavy advantage of the “Flag” feature in Outlook and the “Save for later” feature in Slack. Flagged and saved items essentially become my list of things to review/action/follow up on. And once they’ve been taken care of and I unflag them, it feels like I’ve crossed items off a checklist – very satisfying.

    At the end of each day, I look at my calendar and my flagged item list to see what I need to work on the following day. Then I write them all down on a spreadsheet, separated by multiple categories:
    1. Easy stuff (eg: Schedule meeting with Harold, fill in time sheet)
    2. Hard stuff (eg: Review and edit screens 1-5 for project X)
    3. Meetings
    4. Miscellaneous (eg: leave at 3 for doctor appt)

    And THEN, on the same spreadsheet, I keep a tally of what I accomplished for each day of the week. Stuff that gets actioned on the to-do list gets cut and pasted from the “to-do” section to “Things I did on Monday” or whatever. Being able to look at what I accomplish on a day-to-day basis really combats impostor syndrome!

    The last thing I do is review all the things I worked on, then email a summary every week to my manager. This achieves multiple things:
    1. My manager is kept in the loop about what I’m working on, including major wins (eg: stats show that project X has increased client deposits by Y amount)
    2. It forces me to focus on the big picture of what I’m doing
    3. Having a week-by-week portrait of my projects and accomplishments makes putting together my end-of-year review really easy. I don’t have to remember what I did in March; I just need to check the emails I wrote that month.

    1. Mango Freak*

      Ooh ooh! Labels and filters in Gmail!!!

      I get a lot of work emails that actually don’t require any action from me, just because I’m in some email group or something. So I created a filter that tags any email with my first name *in the body of the email* with a special label, and I check that label all the time. What’s great is I also told my supervisor this, so he always puts my name in when he’s tagging me in to do something like schedule a meeting.

      It’s perfect cuz on bad days when I’m having trouble making myself work and the jerkbrain is going “You’re terrible you’re going to get fire you deserve to get fired” I can click on the “[Name] check” label and reassure myself, “well Boss hasn’t tagged you in on anything that you haven’t done so you’re doing okay.”

  64. Passionfruit*

    If you have any learning disabilities related to reading, vision, or numbers: make use of conditional formatting in Excel. I have dyscalculia and eye focusing problems, and I’ve found automatic color-coding to be incredibly helpful. I used to loathe spreadsheets, but after learning some techniques to make them clearer to read at a glance, I’ve come to value them.

    1. Snow Angels in the Zen Garden*

      I would appreciate more suggestions that help with your eye focusing if you have them, please. I don’t know if there is a name for it, but my eye doctor has told me my eyes don’t refocus as fast as they should for someone my age – they act about 20 years older.

      1. Monkeypants*

        For me and my terrible eyes, a pair of curved monitors did wonders. The curvature means that every point on the screens is at about the same comfortable focal distance. So while my eyes don’t refocus quickly, it doesn’t matter too much because they don’t need to.

        I did have to go to a proper computer store that had several models on display to figure out the curvature that worked best for me. Some of them were much too tightly curved for what I needed. (I’m fully remote and purchased my own. If you’re in an office, you might be able to request something as an accommodation.)

  65. Biobot*

    Autistic here, and an executive. Being a manager as a neurodivergent person can be very challenging. Especially if you don’t have the instruction manual for how to interact with and motivate others naturally installed. My best advice is to identify others in your life who seem to have figured this out, who are both well-liked and well-respected, and study them carefully. Pay attention to what they do, and how they do it, and incorporate their strategies. Also – remember to compliment people! Often, on work product or performance that is good, but also occasionally on a personal level (I like your scarf! Those are great shoes! etc). I have had to build my own instruction manual over time for how to have many kinds of basic (positive) human interactions to build trust and goodwill, but it is worth the results.

    1. Aumelia*

      Yes on the personal compliments! Autistic here, and as a manager one of my biggest breakthroughs was getting deliberate about engaging with my team on a personal level – not excessively, but things like remembering the names of their kids, and important hobbies or interests (write it down in your note-taking system of choice!). If they mention they’re doing something interesting on the weekend, make a note and ask about it the next time you catch up the following week.
      It might seem obvious and intuitive to neurotypical folks, but it really builds your team’s sense of being seen and cared for, and that helps the work flow.

  66. Zoya*

    Freelancer with ADHD here! I am not a manager so I can’t speak to that, but a few things that have been helpful for me as a person managing myself:

    – Use time of day to your advantage (this is a tip I got from the doctor who diagnosed me with ADHD). For me personally, I’m a night owl so it takes me a little while to get going in the morning, but once I do, I find that I’m sharpest in the morning (especially right after my meds kick in) and then fade over the course of the day. So I use my “commute time” (or, in my case, breakfast + tea) to shake off the cobwebs, and then when I first get to my desk I do all the fiddly focus-requiring stuff like clearing out my inbox, scheduling, bookeeping, proofreading, reviewing notes, etc. Late morning/early afternoon is when I schedule meetings, do editing/revising, and do other stuff that requires some attention but not laser focus. The end of the day, when the meds are wearing off and my brain is pinging all over the shop, is when I do my most creative work (first drafts, outlining, etc.). This does require having a fair amount of control over your schedule, but it’s worked really well for me.

    – To-do lists. I can’t function without them. I keep a running list for all my clients/projects in OneNote, but for complex projects or extra-busy weeks I’ll often hand-write a to-do list and then physically check off tasks.

    – If you have the option, record meetings/calls whenever you can. I don’t always use the recording but it’s super-helpful to have as a backup in case I spaced out and missed something in my notes.

    – Automate as much as you can. For example, I use a bookkeeping software that has a time tracker built in, then generates invoices from the time tracker and easily lets me send them straight to clients. It saves me so many steps, so I no longer procrastinate on generating/sending invoices and then scramble and send a bunch at once.

    – Remember that you got this job for a reason. I sense a bit of self-deprecation and/or imposter syndrome in your letter, which is so so so common for those of us who’ve been told over and over that our brains are wrong. But you bring real value to your workplace, not just in spite of your brain but because of it. Make a list of all the things you’re good at in your job, if you feel up to it, and look at it whenever you need a bit of a boost. (Yes, it’s corny, but it works for me.) For example, I’m really good at taking fragmented bits of inspiration from different sources and putting them together into a coherent narrative. It started out as an ADHD quirk + masking skill – covering for inattention lapses by filling in the blanks myself – but now it’s something that my clients really value!

  67. Boof*

    Not sure if I qualify, but also not totally sure what space you are in, LW. I probably have mild ADHD and/or I just have a lot more ADHD tendencies than most of my professional peers (doctors). For example: a bunch of people who did well on one of our high stakes medical school tests advised that they just “memorized X reference book”. There is just no way I can sit down and memorize a huge book (basically, study it for hours a day a month straight). I cannot. I know because I tried really hard and I barely passed.
    I did much better when I both adopted some “good testing strategies” I briefly heard once in a random advice group in a summer high school prep program – particularly for me fidgeting does NOT help my reading comprehension (I know that goes against all ADHD advice out there so your mileage may vary – but when I’m attempting to read / study a text it really does take away the needed focus, and that was the advice then too – jiggling feet etc make it worse. ) But it SOMETIMES helps other types of focus – like a semi boring lecture or video, basically it keeps me from being utterly distracted from something I’m sorta supposed to pay attention to but don’t need to deep focus on.
    Another one is to rest – especially before a big test. STOP STUDYING and relax/do something totally different for a few days – that was a game changer for me i went from low test scores to high test scores (assuming I had been doing some studying all along – but very much small bites/slow steady / don’t try for long cramming sessions it will only exhaust my focus for when I really need it)
    Even if you don’t want to try to keep regular sleep/exercise/eating schedule for work days. I love staying up late / sleeping in but that is for vacation, weekends, etc.
    Make sure to schedule vacations to totally unplug, and totally unplug on the vacations. I’m terrible at doing this but I feel it when I lapse (I’m about to take my first vacation in 6 months next week – oops – it’s so hard to make time for myself and it feels harder than it’s worth sometimes but I know I’m less efficient and struggling with burnout now and I’m already excited for my break enough that I’m doing way better this week)
    Those are a few of my personal tips – as someone with the sort of likely ADHD tendencies that can be mostly managed with lifestyle / behavior tricks.
    And yes for having a work place/colleagues that won’t be rigid about how you get things done, focus on results not your quirks/ accommodate quirks etc.

    1. Boof*

      (just want to add, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD in college and tried meds once when I was really struggling with training, but I didn’t immediately find them helpful + was in the middle of reproductive years and I just didn’t find them worth the bother, personally. That is not to say they won’t be helpful to someone else just that I have the formal diagnosis but it’s mild and I mostly just need to make my own adjustments and find a good environment rather than what other people might find most useful – like meds and formal accommodations)

      1. CeramicSun*

        I relate so much to what you said. I am on medication but people at my school keep on asking me about applying for formal accommodations when I genuinely don’t think they would be helpful. I don’t need extra time on tests, lectures are already recorded (not that I rewatch them- I have to be there in person or I’m never catching up), and getting extensions for everything just means everything will pile up even more (unless I’m sick or an emergency comes up which would be valid reasons for extensions without needed to involve the disability office) .

        1. Boof*

          ahh, same! Yes I remember I got more time on tests in college but… I didn’t actually need that, and the pull out was a little awkward. And longer deadlines probably just would have meant more procrastination @-@ When really I needed to learn my own internal tricks. I suppose some kind of pseudo-deadline might have been helpful but probably not a reasonable accommodation (ie, the deadline is there, but it’s easy to ask for a short extension at the last minute; but I could easily see that putting undue burden on folks grading such things depending on their own workflow and I wouldn’t have wanted that)

        2. Gamer Girl*

          Honestly, the only thing that would have helped me was to have less time to do things, with actual accountability. Like: if I had been able to request that I have a deadline of one week instead of all semester to do a project, during the semester I was assigned only projects for an 18 credit load of very important classes that I needed no less than a B+ to graduate… and I had 8 classes total? I think I would have done much better and been much healthier.

          Or the ability to request an exam instead of a project–for the love of googly eyes, projects instead of exams are my absolute Achilles heel. Exams have a clear, make or break, defined time period, and my brain does amazing things under time pressure. All that projects ever did was stress me out so much I couldn’t do them until the last minute.

          I blamed myself for not being able to do projects “the right way” for a very very long time, but now I know that if I could have just had exams or just been assigned a room and computer for one day for 12 hours for each project, one week at a time, I could have passed everything with straight As and almost no residual, mental health killing shame and extreme stress.

  68. Carlie*

    These tips are great!

    Things that have helped me (ADHD here also):

    When possible, I schedule meetings with a half hour extra after booked. I then stay in the room where the meeting happened to do any easy action items that came up during the meeting, before I walk through the Portal of Forgetfulness (exit door to the room). If I have to prepare/present at a meeting, I do the same thing but before – I get there a half hour early to get settled and finish any last-minute prep.

    If I’m having an awful focus day, I will go sit somewhere where I can see other people working. That helps (mirroring or body doubling).

    I need my to-do items to be visible. I’ve experimented with table signs, presentation boards, neon sticky notes – anything that keeps them right there on my desk. Computer-based lists are garbage for me.

    There are times when I simply have to be not available to anyone to get something done. That’s been one of the hardest things, but sometimes I have to not allow distractions in.

    Silent unobtrusive fidget toys. So many fidget toys.

    I have office help, so I’ve taken the things that freeze up my brain the worst and outsourced those specific things to that person, like scheduling meetings.

  69. Seal*

    Keep a daily to-do list and use it to plan ahead. While I meticulously maintain my calendar and schedule meetings and appointments in advance, having a detailed to-do list where I can check things off as done is invaluable. I use a Google doc and make bullet pointed list broken down by week, then day. Everything from meetings to deadlines to water the plants is included. Since I work at a university, I set up my to-do lists by semester and add items and tasks as necessary. Just the simple act of making a list clears my head; planning ahead gives me peace of mind.

    Also, don’t forget to include travel time before or between meetings, especially if you have to leave the building. Decide how long it takes you to get from point A to point B, then double it (time blindness is REAL!).

  70. Dawn*

    I’m sure I’m echoing a lot of people here, but use a scheduling program. Use calendar programs. Use virtual assistants.

    I am literally only a functional human being because of Alexa, who reminds me, out loud, to do everything I need to do, when I need to do it.

  71. Velomont*

    I don’t know if this is applicable to you, however, I just retired six months after a formal autism diagnosis. This followed years of therapy before I even recognized that autism was a possibility. I highly recommend, if possible or practicable, that you get an assessment.
    I somehow bumbled through a 30 year career in the military (I did passably well, with nothing to be embarrassed about except that my career progression wasn’t what it should have been), followed by a post-military career in private industry, with more or less the same nature of career success that I had in the military.
    My diagnosis was like a secret decoder for every inappropriate and annoying (and on a few occasions offensive and/or toxic) things that I said and did.
    So, from my perspective, keep an ability to monitor your own behaviour and thoughts as an outside observer. The various experts out there say that you shouldn’t have to “mask”, that is, hide you neurodivergent self. However, if you’re in a meeting with Lockheed Martin or Boeing as the customer, you better mask as well as make the effort to critically assess, to the best of your ability, your own thoughts. Sadly, it’s an effort but that’s what you have to do if you want to thrive rather than just survive.

    1. Sydney Ellen Wade*

      May I ask how you received a formal autism diagnosis? I have suspicions I might be but am not sure where to start.

      1. Velomont*

        At the time I was living in Montreal and I went to a private neurological clinic. I could have gone through the public system but that would have entailed a few year wait list whereas the private option was a four or five month wait.

        For me it was extremely worthwhile.

      2. ruerue*

        Google “adult autism assessment in [your city]” and email/phone every single one until you find one that actually does adult autism assessment. Many only do assessment for children but don’t openly say so. Get on whatever waitlist they offer, then keep calling other places. I got lucky and found one that had an open appointment right away. They took my health insurance so it was very cheap.

      3. amylynn*

        I am mid-diagnosis (the appointment to go over the tests is next week). I’m in the southern US, midsize city with a large university. Second what was said about making sure they do adult assessment. And it is much easier to get an appointment when you can pay out of pocket – expect at least $1000-1500. It took me a month to get the initial appointment and another couple of weeks for the assessment. Due to family history I chose to do a full cognitive test, as well as testing for autism and dyspraxia. The in-office time was 6 hours (one hour initial, four hours testing, in two, two two-hour blocks, plus the final appointment). There was also an extensive questionnaire I completed before the first appointment and a handful of tests I took online.

  72. Slinky*

    I think one of the hardest things is learning what works for you and not what works for others generally. It’s really easy to have a sense of what “should” work, especially if you see other people doing this (e.g., I should be able to remember this or I should be able to work through lunch). Other people’s normal isn’t going to be yours (and this is true for neurotypical people, too!), so do what you need. For me, this means:

    -Write everything down. I mean everything. If it’s not on my to-do list, it falls out of my brain. A quick note of “email Jane” takes two second and saves so much grief.
    -Take your breaks. Set an alarm on your phone if you have to. It’s so important, both physically and mentally, to step away from work, stretch, look at something far away, take care of your basic biological function, and then get back to it. Mentally, this can also help break up any negative thought patterns you’re beginning. (I have OCD and anxiety. Intrusive thoughts are a part of daily life so I have to actively interrupt them.)
    -Break eye contact occasionally. If I have to think about something for a second, I give myself permission to look away from the person and then look back after.
    -If you can turn your Zoom camera off, do! Zoom is so much more exhausting than being in a room with people. I’m not sure this is even a neurodivergent thing. I think it’s just true for everyone.

  73. Jigglypuff*

    One of the things that helps me is to have a sympathetic work friend you can check in with. I have a friend who reads my emails if I need someone to make sure they sound okay before I send them, and this same person is the one I go to if I want to make sure I didn’t miss some kind of unstated rule or misunderstand something someone said, etc. etc. I tend to take things very literally and miss the nuance when people are just chatting, so this is the person I go to to check on those sorts of things.

  74. FreakInTheExcelSheets*

    Lists, lists, and more lists, all organized in a way that makes sense to your brain but will probably look like a hot mess to anyone else. Do try to keep them all together though so you don’t have to go through the ‘where did I save those notes’ dance too often. I have a lot of ‘ugly’ files that make perfect sense to me but I have to ‘translate’ before I share with anyone else.

    As far as keeping your brain engaged in a secondary process so you can concentrate, the best advice I ever saw (long before my ADHD diagnosis, but something that made me look back and go ‘yep the signs have always been there’) was to listen to video game soundtracks. They’re designed to keep you focused on the game but not distract you! My favorites are Elder Scrolls and Assassin’s Creed, but funny enough I’ve never played either.

    1. not nice, don't care*

      I put on nature stuff, like rain with wind chimes, birds sounds at the ocean, etc. I can’t do audio that involves narratives or plots because I need to be able to wander off, mentally or physically. I can’t do earbuds/headphones due to PTSD, so my audio background also has to be something audible yet innocuous to potential listeners.

    2. Banana Pyjamas*

      Certain movie soundtracks are great for this (Memoirs of a Geisha, and Pride and Prejudice 2005) as well as the Ambient Worlds YouTube.

  75. MKL*

    If your company uses Teams, you can make shared checklists in the Planner tool within it. I set up one attached to each project, and you can assign tasks – not only to others, but also to yourself. I then use the to-do lists as an action item in our regular catch-ups- everyone can see what you’re thinking is about what should be done when – and it makes a satisfying “ding” if you accomplish your goals (you can turn this off).

    As a neurodivergent project manager, I also find it really helpful to have a more neurotypiclal deputy project manager who I can explain how I want things done (eg the risk register should be updated every fortnight, but often I forget/ get distracted) – and then they can help hold me accountable as we do the things together.

    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      If you use Planner but also some of the other tools in the Office 365 suite, the To Do app is helpful in combining all those tasks into a single place so you’re not looking in both Planner and Outlook and wherever else.

  76. AlabamaAnonymous*

    I just got diagnosed with ADHD last year (at the age of 50). I had some work habits in place that had helped me survive this far, but my diagnosis was still life-changing. I see a lot of great suggestions already, but I’ll add a couple more, specifically related to managing other people ..
    -Lean in to delegating. I ask my staff to send me meeting invites (instead of setting them up myself). I ask them “if I haven’t responded by x date on this, please remind me”. And then I am always very appreciative when they do remind me and try to do the thing right away. So it’s not too onerous for them.
    -Keep a running follow-up list. Similar to someone above who uses ppt slides, for my supervisor and for each of my direct reports, I have a running list of items to talk with them about. (My supervisor’s is a Word document. the lists for my direct reports are notes on their meetings on my calendar.) Anytime I think of something I need to ask one of them, I stop (right then, no matter what I’m doing) and add that item to my list. Then, the next time I meet with them (I have regularly scheduled meetings), I can pull up that list and go through it.
    -Do it now. If I’m in a meeting with a staff member and we decide that I need to follow-up with someone about something, I will often stop right then and write the email or add it to my list.
    -Be as open as possible about how you work best. I have not necessarily shared my ADHD diagnosis with my staff, but I have been very upfront with them about a lot of things related to that. I am very clear that I have a poor memory, so I have explained about the running lists, the delegating, etc. If they are asking about something and I am thinking hard, I know my face sometimes looks blank. So I will say “I am thinking – I’m not ignoring you” so they don’t misinterpret my blank face for disinterest. (For example, if eye contact is difficult for you, I would say that straight up. “Hey, I don’t tend to look people in the eye when I’m talking to them. I am listening, even if it doesn’t look like it.” And then make sure to respond to what they said verbally so they know you heard them.) (sorry – not to lean too far into autistic stereotypes – I was just trying to think of a possible example. I realize that may not be an issue for you.)
    When I first started this management job, I took some time in a staff meeting to talk explicitly about my management style and what is important to me. (I used the framework from Managing Up by Mary Abbajay but you could use any framework or language you are comfortable with.) When I onboard new staff, I actually go through that presentation with them as well. (One plus side of this is that they feel comfortable telling me what they need in a work environment as well. Then I try to accommodate that as much as possible (or explain why we can’t.)
    -Show you care about them (in a work-appropriate way). I end every one-one-one meeting with my staff by asking them, “Is there anything else I can do to support you?” And then if there is, I try to do it (or explain why we can’t). They know I care about them as people, so they are more willing to forgive my foibles.
    -Medication. I know medication is not for everyone, but I have found it very helpful. Getting on meds has allowed me to focus show much better and be more productive. Which in turn made me less grumpy which makes for a happier employee/manager

  77. Office Manager*

    ADHD here- use the systems that work for you and don’t use the ones that don’t!
    I have multiple systems that I can adjust and change as I go. I definitely second making sure you’re always writing things down!

    One thing I do that works for me: I use my email as a to do list, and will send myself emails when I’m assigned tasks verbally by my boss. I also make and delete temporary folders to sort my work to help me get through it so it’s not just a giant full email box. How do I sort my work? Depends on the day I’m having! Sometimes I sort by type of work, sometimes I sort by what feels hardest to easiest, sometimes I sort by highest to lowest anxiety, and sometimes I don’t sort at all.

  78. the cat ears*

    Figure out routines with work times and breaks that work for you, and try to discover what is most effective for different kinds of work and different moods. When I have a day where I feel like everything is slow and hard, I usually will do 25/5 Pomodoro sessions, and when it’s a break time I’ll get up, go for a walk around the block, or do a small chore like a few dishes.

    Take notes – I just use the self-chat in Teams to send them to myself. I take them whenever I take a break from something where I’ve been concentrating deeply and worry I’ll take a while to get back into it when I come back.

  79. Mango Freak*

    I was diagnosed at 40 and what’s helped me the most was just finally realizing I AM NOT A FRAUD.

    I spent years–decades–working next to people who did things the “right” way. When the pandemic sent us all to WFH, I realized how much of my work day I actually spent acting (“masking” I guess?) like I was working that way too. But it turns out my work was just as good, often better.

    I don’t sit down and do a task methodically A to Z every time. I’m the stereotypical person who will spend hours the first time figuring out how to save ten minutes every subsequent time. Except sometimes it’s not ten, it’s twenty, or more. And maybe I can’t make myself sit at my desk for hours and just DO THE THING…but if I let myself walk away and come back later, then I do the thing in what feels like 10 minutes.

    I’m fortunate that I have supervisors now who understand and appreciate this about me. I haven’t said “ADHD” to my boss, but he knows I’m a night owl, and he knows about my work pace. (He asked me once how many hours a week a responsibility would take me. I sighed and said, “It’s hard to say because there a normal hours and then there are [Mango Freak] Hours.”)

    So I guess the upshot of all that is: find a place you don’t have to pretend. Easier said than done, but gold once you get it.

  80. Covert Copier Whisperer*

    ADHD manager here. I frankly love it, it’s so much easier for me to be at this level than it was to be an individual contributor.

    Because so much advice will vary based on how your ND shows up, and “manager” can mean so many things, I have no guarantee my tips will help you, OP, but hopefully they’ll help someone. Here’s my situation:
    -The unit I manage are mid-level professionals with a fair amount of freedom to act, full-time telework, working largely with external and internal clients. My work is 75% making sure my team has what they need for their deliverables, and only 25% my own deliverables.
    – I tend to have the most issues around short-term memory, anxiety blocks on things requiring cold calls/scheduling, the finishing stages of long-term tasks, and finding less complex tasks too boring to concentrate on.
    – I am, on the other hand, really good at crisis management, complex analysis, networking, and the parts of project management that aren’t following up with people.

    My biggest tip, assuming you’re new to people-managing, is this: make an inventory of specific tasks you struggle with, and are good at, PLUS a list for your team. And when you set up your work, CONSIDER YOUR TEAM in whatever way makes sense for your shared work.
    -For instance: I am crap at scheduling meetings. My team prefers to have blocks of uninterrupted work time. It works better for us all if they put meetings on my calendar instead of the other way around.
    -Another for instance: I have set weekly meetings with each of them, so that I’m not struggling to remember where they are in projects, and they know they have a dedicated place to follow up on anything they need from me.
    -We are making increasing use of shared task lists, project management software, and other tracking software that lets them see what I’ve tackled, and helps me automatically build to-do lists with notifications.
    As a manager, you may also have more leeway to ask for information (status updates, reports, etc) in your preferred method, so don’t feel bad about maximizing whatever method works for you. If you prefer written reports, ask for the email! If you prefer meetings, ask for that! And it’s fine to tell your team the reason for your preference, so if they have a different preferred style, you can flex if needed. (This works better with a small team and in an office setting, obviously.)
    The list also helps me know where I need to concentrate my coping techniques, so I don’t over-engineer my approach to things I’m good at, and save it for (ugh) invoicing.

    Specific tips that work for my individual work:
    – to the extent I can get the tasks that are hardest for me done as soon as they come in, I do. Those that I can’t (ugh, invoices), but are predictable, I set aside calendar time for, plus flag them for easiest findability in my inbox with the fewest steps. I’ve set up email filtering rules and folders, plus dedicated time to check.
    – music does help me concentrate, so I’ve got work-friendly playlists that work for me queued up. I actually spent time testing what kind works best for different tasks.
    – I use external accountability where I need to deliver something to someone. (“I should have this to you in X days, please check if you don’t see it.”)
    – I have a sit/stand desk, because sometimes that little change in perspective and movement is all I need.
    – I try to make sure I have at least one task or meeting I really enjoy or that feels really productive, each day.
    – If I’m going to need to give a presentation or be very verbal/customer-facing in the morning, I’ll sometimes stack meetings. If I start in Verbal Processing Mode, it’s hard for me to get out of, so I might as well use it to my advantage.
    – I have so many fidgets. And in long meetings where I can’t talk… I knit. No one can see my hands when I’m on a virtual meeting.
    – only one person at my work knows my diagnosis, but I am open about how my brain works and how I work best– and also where I struggle, and how I manage that. For my workplace, that works! I’ve found that when I say “I have ADHD” to someone in my personal life, it doesn’t actually tell them much about how I show up or what to expect. If I say “when I forget to text you, it’s because my short-term memory is bad, NEVER about you,” that is much more useful.

  81. werewolf*

    context: i am autistic, and work hybrid in a corporate office setting. my desk is a cubicle, but our office is very empty, so I only have two close neighbors, my teammate at a kitty-corner cubicle and my boss in a nearby office. i think i accidentally lucked myself into a job that’s very accommodating for my autism! makes it scary to leave although i need more money :’)

    – i have three different methods of task management, which range from very low-key to very detailed: a separate inbox in my email for to-do items, a detailed to do list, and a hour-by-hour schedule with tasks planned for different times of day and breaks baked in. each level includes the previous levels, but i have this system in place to deal with my varying levels of organizational needs — level 3 is overkill for my usual day-to-day, but sometimes i am too frazzled to tackle my regular to-do list and need some overplanning and built-in break times.

    – i have a space selected for when i need lower stimulation — if it’s too loud or especially if the lights are too bright, my team has a conference room which is really only used for our team meetings, so i move my laptop there and work in lower light and quiet.

    – i keep safe food snacks and small lunches in a drawer

    – my boss handles client communication — the nature of my work is that i often do work for clients or other departments. for the most part, my boss received job requests and then puts them into our system, and then when i complete the work i hand it off to her and she passes it on to the client. this means that i am always dealing with the same communication style, and i don’t have to worry as much about my mannerisms and how i come across to clients, which would be stressful for me and require me to mask more.

    – i make a lot of SOPs and checklists. a lot of my work is repetitive, but my department didn’t have SOPs already, or they didn’t think they needed SOPs for certain processes because it was obvious how to do them. a lot of the time it’s not for me! by creating my own, i’m able to ensure that all of my work is consistent.

    – i do keep some fidget/sensory toys at my desk. the silicone bubble pop things are great. all of mine are pretty quiet. tbh i want a lava lamp, i love visual stimuli and the dinky desk thing i have now isn’t cutting it

    – paper calendar — i don’t have enough events for my digital calendar to my at my fingertips at all time, or i think digital would suffice. i like a paper calendar so i can just glance over and see everything.

    – one thing i got special permission / accommodation for was audiobooks, for a little while our IT had blocked Hoopla and Libby (library apps) but I was able to request them to be unblocked since i use audiobooks to help me focus.

    – wishlist item: at the risk of being a bit too comfy, the next thing i’m looking for is a weighted lap blanket, 7-10 lbs.

    there’s probably some other stuff that i do to accommodate myself subconsciously, but this is what i can think of off the top of my head.

    1. Mid*

      I love my weighted lap blanket! I don’t think it looks unprofessional, and they come in plenty of boring colors if you want it to blend in more. (Mine is grey on one side and stars on the other.)

    2. Biology Dropout*

      Ooh this is all amazing!! Yes to the safe desk snacks and lap blanket, I did this when I worked in an office!

    3. Banana Pyjamas*

      On safe snacks: I really struggle getting lunch goods to and from the office. I have found keeping non-perishables in my desk incredibly helpful. I usually do okay with freezer meals, but it’s still good to have my other things at work just in case.

  82. not nice, don't care*

    I mostly work in-office now, but I wfh for an hour each morning to give me a chance to triage emails, take urgent actions/troubleshoot overnight problems, check my calendar, print (via VPN so I’m not using my own printer/paper) any documents I need for the day, etc.
    It’s not so necessary during slow times, but when it’s hectic, that hour in the morning makes the rest of my in-person day flow so much better and I’m way less wound up anticipating chaos upon arrival.

  83. ADHD Lawyer*

    There are some great suggestions in here!

    One thing I have found is that I have to have something to do when I’m in a meeting, especially if it’s virtual. If I don’t need to take notes, I either play a mindless game on my phone or go to the jigsaw explorer website and do puzzles. The advantage of the latter is that I’m still looking at my screen.

    I use both the Jomo app and/or the Brick device, depending on the day, to help avoid hyperfocusing on something on my phone instead of work.

    Finally, I’ve learned that for me, it’s really important to start the day right. If I get straight into working on something, I am much more likely to be mostly productive the rest of the day. So knowing the first project (or 2 or 3, but never more than that) I’m going to work on when I arrive at the office is really important for me. I can’t start my day with organizing and prioritizing, because I’ll just end up overwhelmed and shut down.

    1. Data Bear*

      Dude! You have no idea how delighted I am to learn that I’m not the only one on the Jigsaw Explorer website during meetings!

  84. Carlie*

    Also – in the sense of universal design for all, sometimes making things fit you makes them better for your team as well! For instance, when I have a task I need the team to work on, I think about all the things that would make me NOT able to do it – what would stop me in my tracks, what would make it hard to complete, and then I try to give them workarounds or information to get over those barriers right from the start. That has helped me build up a lot of instruction/info sheets for reference and use in the future.

  85. Nightengale*

    Hoo boy

    I’m multiply neurodivergent and I work with neurodivergent kids in a field (medicine) that is stereotypically not a place you expect specifically autistic people working)

    But it works for me

    My biggest neurodivergence impairment at work is poor visual processing including facial recognition. Fortunately most people in hospitals have to wear name badges.

    It helps to have a space that is yours. To organize (or not) as works for you. I shared a desk for awhile and that was tough. I share a workroom now and that is fine. My desk is piled with papers and fidgets but it’s my space.

    I’ve never officially been a manager in terms of hire/fire power. I have been shift supervisors and a senior doctor to more junior doctors or medical students. I make a little eye contact if it seems expected. I listen to what they have to say. I tend to share information more than giving directions or asking specific questions – it works pretty well

    A lot of work can be scripted. What do you say when you call someone on the phone? How do you explain whatever? There’s an outset of creating the scripts but then a great return on investment.

    I may come back later and ramble more.

  86. Janie*

    Three things come to mind that work for me
    1. Identifying when my attention span is most reliable. For me, that is early morning. So I try to schedule focus heavy activities for then, and keep less focus heavy work for the afternoon when my brain is shot

    2. I stopped stressing so much about trying to change. I get feedback all the time about how organized I am. I’m not. I’m a ball of feral chaos. But I AM good at pulling all the chaos together at the last minutes. Once I started trusting myself and seeing that talent as possibly beneficial, I was able to better utilize my strengths

    3. I bought a huge monitor. I need to see everything I’m working on or it ceases to exist. So having lots of screen space for a million docs and browser tabs makes a difference.

    1. Banana Pyjamas*

      On point 3: if you’re a visual person the screen setup that works for you. I do best with 3 17” monitors, though I do want to try a big screen tv. I only just learned Windows + left/right arrow to make a window take exactly half of your screen.

      Also fiddle with your programs, some have really adjustable front ends that mean you can make the best layout for your needs. Some even allow you to save layouts.

      1. Goody*

        ” I only just learned Windows + left/right arrow to make a window take exactly half of your screen.”

        TIL!!! I have a dual screen but oh I spend so much time fiddling with window layout some days. Thank you!

  87. Starfox*

    Autistic crew chief here. I’ve found 2 things that really help me at work:

    1. I realized that I’m a details person but struggle with the big picture stuff. That means that once I have the main goal laid out for me, I can plug details into it all day long, but without that explanation the details are a lot of meaningless nonsense that I can’t keep track of & leave my brain pretty much immediately. I can’t just be given a task, I need to know the point of the task in order to do it without having a breakdown. YMMV, this is how my brain works, but figuring it out is the tricky part.

    2. Repeating things back to people. When my boss wants something done or my crew members come to me with a problem I need to solve, I summarize my understanding of it back at them. It helps me understand what they’re saying & makes sure that we’re both on the same page about what’s going on. Helps my anxiety that I’ve misunderstood or been misunderstood immensely.

  88. Dawn*

    I also wanted to take a moment to mention this: “neurodivergent” isn’t inherently incorrect, but generally the preferred term nowadays is “neurodiverse” which has somewhat less negative implications.

    1. Nightengale*

      That’s interesting – what I encounter is generally the opposite. The best I can tell from her radical advocacy work, the person who coined the term “neurodivergent” meant it to be neutral or positive, not negative, (Kassiane Asasumasu ) and I see it that way myself as a multiply neurodivergent person.

      A group can and should be neurodiverse just as a group can and should be diverse in other ways.
      But a person isn’t diverse or neurodiverse. They are neurotypical or neurodivergent. Just like I’m not “diverse” by being Jewish or asexual but these traits contribute to group diversity.

      These are the references I usually use when speaking on neurodiversity to explain the difference between neurodiverse and neurodivergent

      https://neuroqueer.com/neurodiversity-terms-and-definitions/
      https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1614249935452407&set=pcb.1614059212138146

      1. Higher Ed Cube Farmer*

        My experience is like Nightengale’s : Neurodiverse, like diverse, describes a group not a single person; neurodivergent isn’t negative.

        I’ve seen some variation in use within the broader community, similar to the variation around person-first language. My take on diverse/divergent prescriptivism is also similar:

        People get to choose how to refer to themselves and the community they are a part of. If my preferred wording differs from someone else’s, I’ll use theirs toward them and ask them to use mine toward me. Neither of us gets to say which is right for everyone.

    3. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

      I also prefer neurodiverse, because when is “divergent” every positive?? Brains come in all kinds, and that’s good (even though it can be so hard in a rigid neurotypical world).

      But I don’t think neurodivergent is bad per se. I just don’t like it.

      I also use neurospicy, because it makes me laugh.

    4. Lellow*

      Saying a particular person is neurodiverse is as helpful as saying they’re LGBT. They’re multiple contradictory things all at once?

      A community can be neurodiverse, ie have multiple people with different neurotypes within it (including neurotypicals!). A person whose brain is different from the neurotypical assumed norm is neurodivergant. (Or neuraotypical, but I personally don’t like that because I have to read it about three times to make sure I’ve got it right.) Or is [specific neurotype].

      1. Nightengale*

        yeah most people I know prefer neurodivergent to neuroatypical because of the confusion with neurotypical. Considering how many of our neurodivergences affect spelling. . .

        I was talking with the person who spearheads the DEI work in our professional society largely in the area of racism and she was asking when to say neurodiverse vs neurodivergent. I said – “are you diverse?” She said “no, I’m Black.” And then it clicked.

  89. veebee*

    I made my own agenda planner!! It seems small, but it helps so much!

    The layout of traditional agenda planners just doesn’t work for my brain—they either have a page per day (which is too much for me) or a week laid out out over two pages, or something similar. I need to see the full week in one glance, and then the next week the next glance, otherwise I won’t be able to see far enough ahead to properly plan out my time.

    I bought a grid notebook, some Day of the Week stickers, and some Number stickers (for days of the month) and went to town! I love it way more than I was expecting too because I don’t have to “commit” to a layout for the whole year, I can adjust it based on what’s working or not.

  90. Brev*

    Asking ChatGPT for advice on writing emails to get better at tone. I dont like using it to generate things for me but I find it very useful to ask for things like “what are some easy tips for writing a clear email” or “how you you politely correct someone in an email”. It gives you simple clear instructions.

    Tone in writing is the one thing that ChatGPT really actually knows about because that’s its whole deal. And you can ask it for specific tips on the specific thing you need to do.

    Also, if you aren’t already – sleeping with an eye mask or taking time to lie with an eye mask on if you have time (like while listening to an audio book or something). Shutting off the use of sight for a bit helps with sleep and gives you a bit of time where you are being less stimulated which gives you time to recharge every day and less likely to hit overstimulation or burn out.

    1. ruerue*

      This. I’m autistic and have always had a hard time coming across as friendly in professional emails. These days, I write what I would write if everybody were autistic (basically a list of things I need to get across) and then I copy and paste it into ChatGPT and ask it to rewrite it as a warm, professional email. It comes up with the little pleasantries I can never think of.

      1. Brev*

        Yes! I often ask for feedback on what I’ve written and it’s great because I can ask it “what was not warm about the tone and why” and it completely breaks it down for me.

        Apparently the use of highly technical terms can be seen as condescending! I thought they were just correct and the most accurate thing to use but apparently not using them makes you sound warmer so there you go.

  91. Jonathan MacKay*

    Adapting the environment to fit your needs leads to a far superior result to adapting yourself to the environment. There are also side benefits that neuro-typical coworkers will benefit from as well. The more accommodations there are to diverse needs, the better.

    1. Annie*

      Specific ways to adapt the environment to fit your needs:

      – Educate yourself and others on accessibility features/apps even if you’re not the primary audience for them, e.g. “Some people find that they process information better if it’s presented to them verbally. Here’s how to get your computer to read this Word document aloud,” “Some people find it easier to process the written word. Here’s how to turn on the captions for this training video,” etc.

      – If your workplace allows you to install browser addons, there are several that allow you to make browser-based tools more accessible to you by changing colors and spacing or hiding/emphasizing tools based on usage.

  92. An Autistic Reader*

    I’m a late-diagnosed, mid-career autist working in creative services. After years of 1099 work, I made the leap last fall to W2, and I was deeply nervous about it. As a consultant, I could construct my social model of ability just as I needed it to be; was I damning myself to public failure by giving up that control? Truly I did not know.

    Now I’m a year in, and I can make observations. Mostly it’s going well, due in large part to company culture: we have unlimited work-from-home, for instance. The cultural expectation is for everyone to be in the office, and mostly they are, but people chime into Slack all the time letting folks know they’ll be working remotely that day, for any reason at all. Any time I need deep focus, or can’t bear to mask, I can disappear into the woodwork and no one bats an eye.

    One concern I had going in is burnout – still a concern, actually. I’m a high performer and I didn’t want to use myself up, autistically working full speed ahead, especially given that most people in offices do not work that way. I didn’t trust myself to intuit the proper level of effort; I wanted an external metric. Well, we track time at my job, so in addition to making a sheet that made more sense for me than tracking directly into Harvest, I created a productivity tracker that gives me a percentage, and I aim for no more than 80% (still higher than corporate averages in the wild). I’ve also pushed to normalize this as a companywide standard, to protect our team from unrealistic time-tracking expectations (and succeeded!).

    Finally, it has been a struggle interfacing with neurotypical leaders; there is absolutely a double empathy disconnect here. I cope by living my values, being vocal about things that matter to me, going remote when needed, and – protip here! – telling myself, “It’s just a job.” Those four magic words allow me to create psychological distance whenever I need to and prevent myself from harm.

  93. E*

    Spouse of someone with ADHD and probably a little on the spectrum. Two things that helped my husband. Find a system to track your completed tasks and consider using alarms or notifications for everything. Early career, he would end up missing deadlines/meetings/etc because he was too focused another task and lose track of time or thought there was enough time to start a new thing, setting alarms or notification helps with this problem. He also would start something, think of how to fix a second task and completely forget to finish the first thing because in his mind he had started it so it should be finished. Having some sort of task tracking fixed this problem. What works for others may not work for you so don’t be afraid to try different systems out!

    1. Banana Pyjamas*

      On alarms:

      -an alarm for any routine item, repeated appropriately

      -include details you need

      -the right tone: registers to your brain as an alarm but does not trigger fight/flight/anxiety

      -emojis you like

      Example:
      10:30 Breakfast 30 carbs [pancake emoji] repeat every day

      1. Banana Pyjamas*

        You can also do this in the Clock app on Windows if it’s more helpful on your computer.

  94. InfoSec Semi Pro*

    Things that work for me personally (ADHD, physical disability)
    – my brain does not remember anything, so I rely heavily on external tools and systems to do the remembering for me.
    – I rebel against structure and “have to” so my tools need to be gentle, supportive, and flexible… but consistently available. Google Keep, Google Docs are big ones for me. I still start most days by writing down the top three things I need to do that day and sticking it to my monitor.
    – I am streaky! My good days are GREAT, my mediocre days are sad, and my bad days are last minute call outs because I can’t walk or think. So nothing can rely on me being on top of my game on any given day. Everything has to have notes and a backup who can step in for me, or it needs to be able to wait a day or three.

    I live and die by my calendar, including putting in space to do planning and note taking and organization work. I block off “lunch” and a planning check in every single day. These time slots can move, but deleting them is BAD and I treat it like “would I dislocate my thumb to get out of this bind?”

    Planning always, always includes a strategic calendar check. When I make a calendar invite, it gets the context needed to go with it. Meetings get linked agendas and working documents, and if a meeting doesn’t have an agenda WTF is anyone there? I manage my calendar to have space to prep for the meetings that need it and take notes (and send them out if I’m doing that)

    Share everything in draft form. Do not let yourself become the sole holder of any piece of information or strategy. I share blank documents when I start them. Obviously not to C levels or the final intended audience all of the time, but to my team and nearby folks. Does it have sentences I didn’t finish writing? Yes. Is it better than nothing? Also yes.

    I do what I can on the days I can. I label tasks not just by due date and priority, but by what I need to have to get them done. Do I need focus time? (that better be blocked on my calendar, possibly with back up time in case that is a bad day) Do I need other people? Have a pointer for their 1:1 agenda or the next meeting with that team. Is it something I can do on a mediocre day? (I literally have a to do list for “No Brain Day”, stuff that needs to get done, but doesn’t need a space on a good day. I am not sharp enough to come up with the list on said No Brain Day, but I can open it and follow along.)

    When I think of something I will need to remember to do later, it gets tucked into the calendar and/or noted in the appropriate file/agenda. I have running documents for my staff, my boss, and my usual coworkers that are where I write down what I need to ask them about the next time I see them. Some of these are more formal and shared (working agenda for 1:1s with staff) some of them are half a step above bar napkins. I won’t always remember what I meant to ask Jane, but I can usually find my Google Keep list or text file labeled “Jane” and it has hints and instructions from PastMe.

    Write down the notes/plans/strategy/context before putting down any project. I might come back to it tomorrow and remember everything. I might not get back to it for a month and barely recognize the idea.

    In addition to the daily planning check in, and dedicated planning time for specific projects, I also have blocked time for quarterly and annual planning. I do half a day for quarterly and about a week’s worth of days/half days for annual. This can be used for wrapping up specific organizational tasks, like checking on goals and performance planning, and also for reflecting on what has gone well and I should do more of, what needs to change, policy thoughts, and overall scheduling for the big set pieces of work my team does, making sure that audits don’t fall on holidays and that if I don’t want to renew with that vendor in December, I make space for testing different vendors in the summer and integrating them into the company in the fall.

    Things that may help a more general you:
    – in addition to just trying a bunch of different tools and approaches and seeing what sticks, see if your workplace EAP or insurance covers actual executive function coaching/therapy. There are professionals who can help you evaluate what you struggle with and recommend tools that may be better tailored to your exact needs
    – get familiar with what supports your company already offers and prioritize taking advantage of them. My last company had a running contract with the Getting Stuff Done folks and would send people for serious training in that method and had software tools that would integrate with Outlook. All it took was adding yourself to the list, but you had to know there was a list!
    – maintaining your team’s productivity and your own productivity is one of the highest priorities of being a manager. Don’t skimp on dedicating work time and effort to the systems that keep you and your team competent and productive every day in favor of getting something small done today

  95. Nice cup of tea*

    I’m AuADHD.

    I absolutely love a big whiteboard for organizing myself.

    I need everything emailed to me so I can look at it again.

    1. Lentils*

      Yes seconding the whiteboard suggestion! Also, if you find yourself needing a lot of reminders and/or you need to take notes during phone calls/virtual meetings, a little desk one is super helpful too. My manager has ADHD and tipped me (autistic) off to this and it’s been a gamechanger for me.

    3. Banana Pyjamas*

      A nice color coded whiteboard is a dream! I find blue and green ink to be very helpful. Red can be simultaneously too aggressive and difficult to read, but pink and orange are less so and easier to read.

  96. Bruce*

    I’m not diagnosed, but both my kids are, there is a lot of ADHD and ASD in my family, and I recognize aspects of this in my self, so:
    *) slow down on emotional responses so you can give considered responses instead of snapping at people
    *) group therapy and individual counseling helps with emotional intelligence in all types of relationships
    *) age and experience helps wear off the sharp edges… no short cut to that!

  97. Lyon*

    For me personally the biggest thing is finding a workplace and job where I don’t have to mask or go against my own grain too much. To me, this means that the majority of tasks are independent and have a defined product; projects have the right level of scope and urgency so that they seem challenging and relevant, but not impossible or emergency; systems and procedures are flexible and customizable to my needs, I don’t have to conform to the Way Things Have Always Been Done; I have a stable and quiet work space; and my supervisor is supportive and effective and I don’t have to “manage up”. I tend to ask my managers to help me prioritize since this is an area of weakness for me, so it helps if they are strong in this area and have a clear vision.

    Finding the right fit feels more possible to me than making a wrong fit work. Whenever I’m job-searching, I almost always wind up quitting one or two jobs within a couple of months before I find one that I want to commit to for several years.

  98. SquirrelOtter*

    I write EVERYTHING down, in one notebook, or digital notebook like a Scribe or ReMarkable. I know my memory is garbage, but if I write it down, legibly, I can’t forget. it’s important to not use multiple notebooks, as that’s how info gets lost.

  99. Slow Gin Lizz*

    I heard something recently about how if you’re stuck on a problem, just changing your environment can often jolt your brain into a better problem-solving mode. So that’s one of the reasons that going for a walk can help, not just because you’re getting exercise and getting away from your computer (though those reasons help too!). Because of this, I think it can be helpful to work in different environments sometimes too, so don’t be afraid to take your computer to a coffee shop or into a conference room at work instead of your office or something like that.

  100. Alena*

    For me (a person with ADHD and undefined other stuff, from a family of the same) finding a niche I can do very very well in and then working from home as much as possible had been a godsend. My parents had roughly the same approach, although WFH didn’t exist then, they both found ways to avoid overstimulating times at the office.

  101. ampersand*

    I have ADHD and suspect I’m on the autism spectrum because my kid is. There’s lots of good advice here already (especially about writing everything down!), and one thing I’ve found to be very helpful for regulation and to combat sensory overload is getting outside in nature/daylight as much as possible.

    I figured this out the hard way by working too many hours straight and not taking breaks–then I started taking breaks and that was slightly better, but what really helps if I’m feeling off/worn out/overloaded/stressed/etc is to go outside for a walk (or sit outside if a walk isn’t doable). I’ve found even just a few minutes outside a few times a day to be helpful; it makes everything else I’m dealing with seem more manageable. It’s like a reset button.

    Thanks, OP, for asking this question! :)

    1. Hillary*

      When we were all wfh my team had scheduled “get outside” long lunches two days a week in the cold months (the office had better natural light than all our home setups and we usually walked to lunch). It was amazing.

  102. Friendly Office Bisexual*

    I am LOVING this thread. Time to take (poorly organized?) notes on all these suggestions.

    – ADHD, autistic, and perpetually anxious about succeeding at my job

    1. Hedgehug*

      One of the greatest gadgets in my life is my Samsung phone that comes with a pen. Absolutely life changing for me to be able to just immediately write on my phone. Not type, WRITE! I will never have another phone that doesn’t come with a pen.

    2. CanadaGoose*

      Yes, thanks to the OP for asking, Allison for posting, and everyone for contributing! I’ve grabbed a few notes into my Dropbox, and hope to remember this thread exists the next time I’m flailing around trying to meet my autistic needs at work.
      Info dump of themes so far:
      – Have note-taking and task-tracking system(s)
      – set up your environment to match your needs
      – book time for what you need, eg planning
      – use clothing/shoes as a signal for what “mode” you’re in (work, chores, relax, sleep)
      – Breaks? maybe, it depends. Task switching might be just as good sometimes. Other times you’ll really benefit from getting outside / sunlight regularly. Reminder alarms for basic body functions may be needed.
      – get to know yourself. Eg I like to be busy, or I learn best by listening/reading, and accommodate accordingly.

  103. Hedgehug*

    I have serious ADHD (all internal, not physical hyperactivity) that at age 36 I only learned about this past year. Life changing!
    I work 4 days a week, and I find that slacking off on day 1 is great for me, haha. It put my brain into haul-ass mode for the end of the week.
    Do I recommend it? No, but it works for me.
    Sometimes though to get stuff done, I will playfully say to myself “Hyperfocus….ON!” like a superhero activating their superpower.

    1. Hedgehug*

      Oh to add, I also use a paper agenda at work. Digital calendars do NOT work for me at all. To my brain, a digital calendar is out of sight, out of mind. I need my agenda dayplanner book, I need to physically write stuff down. And thankfully my boss is exactly the same as me, so he is totally fine with my expensive dayplanner, haha.

    2. Banana Pyjamas*

      Similarly, I find being allowed to work when no one else is in office really gets me going. My favorite is actually Saturday morning, but if I can have 1-2 hours before or after everyone else that’s helpful. I get so much more done during that time.

  104. Loose Socks*

    I am autistic and ADHD and also HR Supervisor, and head of the HR department. I don’t often view my diagnosis as disabilities, just a different way of functioning that requires creative coping mechanisms.

    It is really helpful to work with people that are different from you and have strengths where you have weaknesses. I am great at maintaining routines, but not great at maintaining organization, so I hired someone that excels in organization.

    I do best in written communication, which is excellent in HR as documentation is a huge part of the job. I also do well in identifying exact issues, for instance we have a supervisor that has a lot of complaints put in against him. I took notes of all the complaints, compiled them, and stripped them down to the EXACT issues that needed to be focused on, which, considering the main complaint about this guy is “he’s a massive jerk and everything about him makes everyone angry” was pretty impressive.

  105. ProdMgrReplacedByAI*

    Lean into your strengths and be honest about your weak spots.

    I often tell people “please email me again if you don’t hear back” because I know that if it scrolls off the first page of my inbox then it’s gone forever. On the “out of sight out of mind” front, I also keep a pad of post-its on my desk and write things down on those if I need to remember them.

    I have very productive periods interspersed with stretches of time-wasting and procrastination (like right now as I type this). I don’t worry about whether I’m having a productive 10 minutes. I worry about what needs to get done today and what needs to get done this week. Sometimes a few minutes of procrastination primes my brain to crank out a presentation or whatever needs to get done.

    Spotify has Focus music playlists. I put those on when I need to work because they’re not distracting and they help me get in the zone.

    1. Breaks are necessary*

      To your second point: that sounds like cyber-loafing which I first encountered in “Laziness does not exist” as a concept. Apparently it helps keep us more productive than just trying to power through all the time.

  106. Bunny Girl*

    This one is hard, but finding the right job for yourself is absolutely key. I entered the work force at 17 and was so miserable in every single job I had. I mostly worked in admin and customer service jobs. The constant flood of people and human interaction left me completely depleted by the end of the week and I had no energy to do the things that I loved and that made me feel happy and whole. I was constantly anxious, on edge, and overstimulated. Then I went to graduate school and got a job in a research lab. It’s absolutely night and day. Do I still have days/weeks where I struggle to be productive? Yes! Am I much happier, healthier, and willing to put in the energy to find strategies for myself when I have those days? Also yes!

    1. Zap R.*

      Yeah, I am stuck in admin hell because ADHD caused me to flunk out of my specialized university program and now I have no real world experience in any of the stuff I went to school for. Going back in my thirties and finishing a diploma program hasn’t really made a difference. Don’t do what I did, OP.

  107. ADHD Progammer*

    I’ve seen most of this posted already, but wanted to echo a few points that have been especially helpful for me.

    The first is medication. It doesn’t work for everyone, but starting medication at 31 likely saved my career (or at the very least my current job). There are days it works better than others, but working from a baseline of “pretty good focus” makes all of the other strategies so much easier to implement.

    The second is that it took me a while to realize that part of what worked well for me was the novelty of having a new system/trick/habit/etc. Something would work great for me for a while, but then start falling apart. Initially I’d see this as a failure and try to force myself to keep making it work, but eventually I started trying to see it as a signal to move on and try something else for a while.

    Similarly, cast a wide net when looking for tips, strategies, etc. One aspect of the word “neurodivergent” that I like is the “divergent” part- even though we both have ADHD it’s highly unlikely that all (or even most) of what works for me will work for you and vice versa, but there might be one or two things that do. The importing part is trying stuff out to find those one or two things, not trying to force the ones that don’t work for you just because someone else swears by them.

    Finally, some tricks that have worked well for me (either consistently or for a period of time). I’ve been working from home since I’ve gotten my diagnosis so I’m not sure how all of these would translate to an office, but regardless:
    – keeping my phone out of reach (I have a charger I pass on my way to my desk that I drop it on)
    – making sure that content-based distractions aren’t accessible from my computer (e.g. RSS reader, Twitter(RIP)/BlueSky/Mastodon, etc are only on my phone)
    – paying attention to small changes in my environment that can have a big impact, like cracking a window for fresh air, making sure I don’t have too much or too little caffeine, taking 30s to do some stretches, making sure I take the time to have a shower in the morning, etc
    – this one is likely very dependent on having a home office, but I inherited an old treadmill and built a standing/walking desk for myself. Being able to shift my weight, pace, etc while working has made a big difference for me, although it definitely isn’t for everyone. Just make sure you have a way to work sitting down if you’re too tired, getting sick, etc. (I accomplish this by having two workstations, and I swap my personal and work laptops back and forth as needed, but there’s a million ways to go about this.)
    – I picked up a pair of bluetooth-enabled ear protectors to use as headphones. The audio quality isn’t as good as a nice pair of headphones, but for me at least often I just need to block out sound, not necessarily have something playing. I find passive isolation much more pleasant (and cheaper) than noise cancelation with nothing playing.

    Best of luck!

    1. Banana Pyjamas*

      Ooh yes! The right amount of caffeine is key. I find my sweet spot 24-30 oz of coffee each day. Less isn’t enough, but more causes anxiety spirals.

  108. JPB Gerald*

    There’s the macro (finding a career and workplace that is supportive, which is hard, but I managed to do it because I found my current job while I already had a job so I was able to risk being direct with colleagues; I don’t mask anymore and it has greatly improved my success).

    There’s the micro, though. Think through the environment you have succeeded in when you needed to focus/work. Be it school, previous jobs, etc. What really set you on edge or gave you calm? I learned that I really really hate when my back is to the general office, so I can’t see when people are coming. So I need a seat where I’m either in a corner or just away from the center.

    I also had to think through what I need to wear. I (a man) absolutely hate tucking in my shirts because it’ll bother me all day. So I found attire that doesn’t require that but is still business casual.

    Conversely, I also realized I do like to be around people! My job allows us to be remote but I choose to go into the office because complete isolation at home makes my mind wander. It’s not for everyone. I don’t know you!

    There’s no one size fits all. I think the key is sitting down and being really really specific with yourself about your needs, then, unfortunately, it might be trial and error finding a workplace that will not just tolerate you but support and uplift you. It happened for me (and I write about neurodivergence and race as a scholar and an education author, so I think about all this a lot; you can google my name if you want). I hope it can happen for you.

    1. JPB Gerald*

      And some more stuff I do that others have said:

      Everything goes on the calendar, including lunch and walk breaks, or I just won’t do it.

      Taking breaks that are active (I need to move) rather than lying down (again, this is just me) because once I truly stop I’m not starting again.

      Trying to walk a tightrope between having too many calls and too few (if I have zero I can spiral off into nonsense land).

      Etc.

  109. toolegittoresign*

    1. Eat and drink water regularly throughout the day to keep your energy levels consistent.
    2. Track what times of day you’re most focused. Then, block your calendar to reserve that time for the tasks that most require focus.
    3. When you’re on focus time, keep email, Slack, Teams etc. CLOSED. No notifications, not even the little numbers popping up on the task bar icons.
    4. Put your phone in a drawer.
    5. Learn and accept your own strengths and weaknesses. I learned that, due to my neurological stuff, I can never be a good manager. I can lead people, but I can’t manage them. I am a phenomenal team member, consultant and individual contributor. Once I accepted that, I was able to really thrive in my career. However, some of my favorite managers have ADHD. Don’t assume what you can and can’t do simply because someone else with your same condition can or can’t. Figure out what tasks you love and which ones you hate. Figure out when it’s better to take a break and work late rather than stress for two hours doing nothing.
    6. Talk to a therapist if you can. Just having a neutral 3rd party to dump all my work anxiety, stress, pride, excitement, struggles, ease helped me immensely in figuring out what my work style is, and how I can recover from burnout and avoid burnout in the future.
    7. If you have trouble focusing in meetings (YMMV) find something to do with your hands. A fidget ring, a fidget pen (usually silent) — I find writing notes helps even if what I write is nonsense. Now that I work remote, I crochet in meetings where I’m not presenting. No once can see I’m doing it and I can focus on what’s been said or shown on screen.

  111. Web of Pies*

    I’m an “undiagnosed, but something ain’t right,” I’m confident I’m in the ADHD camp, maaaybe AuDHD.

    I always struggled with normal employment, either I was too bored and struggled to finish things or do them better than half-ass after being at the company for a while, or I took “give it 100%” WAY too literally and worked so hard I hurt myself.

    I switched to a freelance role, where it’s variety all day every day, and it’s soooo much better, my mind likes this so much more. I get to start new projects with new people all the time, and there’s no boss over my shoulder triggering demand avoidance.

    CAVEAT: It did take me a while to figure out how to beat the executive dysfunction to thrive as a freelancer: my technique is to have a series of checklists, a regular daily to-do, everything goes on my calendar, and I have productivity goals (hours worked/money earned) that I track daily to make sure that I’m working enough, and to allow myself to rest when I’m on track or ahead.

    Also, don’t ever sit on the couch in the morning, go right to the desk.

  112. An Australian in London*

    I see a lot of excellent advice here on specific points, so I’ll take a step backwards for more of a meta-point:

    – Don’t try to be a clone of the neurotypical.
    – Don’t be concerned about doing things differently in ways that work for you.
    – Using systems doesn’t mean you are less successful a manager than anyone who doesn’t use those systems. The odds are good they are using systems that you don’t see. Using systems and tools and outsourcing to offset deficits and challenges are exactly the signs of a competent manager. (There are other signs too; this is necessary but not sufficient.)

    It is expected not to get all this right the first time. Successful managers might have spent years and even decades figuring out what best supported them.

    (Broadly I would give this meta-advice to the neurotypical also.)

  113. anon for this one*

    undiagnosed neurospicy here – they would have called it Asperger’s back in the 90s. Basically I’m not great at people, but female and always pretty good at masking. And I ended up in a very people-focused corporate career.

    The big thing is these are all skills that can be learned. They may not be in a job description but they’re part of most jobs.

    The things that I eventually learned:
    1) Step back and listen. Seriously, wait. Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t interrupt because you’re excited.
    2) Show your work. I tend to go from A to D, people usually need A-B-C-D. But start with the tldr when presenting.
    3) Relationship building/maintenance is part of the job. Social interactions can be gamified and there are usually rules. I put peoples’ birthdays on my calendar, set myself reminders to check in, and generally just tried to be kind and compassionate. A lot of this was learned via observation, part of why I prefer to be in the office.
    4) Be approachable. For me that meant putting on my friendly face when I get out of the car (it’s a thing with my forehead/eyes that makes it look like I’m about to smile, basically the opposite of RBF), always making eye contact in the hall/elevator/parking garage, and making small talk. I learned to respond to interruptions with “how can I help?” It was a lot of work but a huge part of my job.

    I’m still working on hearing nuance, and sometimes my career has suffered because I don’t catch the underlying context from leaders. But it’s a learned skill and I’m continuing to get better.

    As a leader, #4 was my absolute biggest learning and the hardest change to make. I would schedule meetings with myself and go on do not disturb when I needed to focus for an extended period.

  114. Former Retail Lifer*

    I was using calendar reminders popping up at specific times to remind me about time-sensitive items like meetings, but I would sometimes miss those, somehow. A colleague at another location told me she set phone alarms. If I have a meeting or a phone call that I can’t miss, a phone alarm going off until I turn it off ensures I won’t.

    1. Hermione Danger*

      I commented later down, but wanted to make sure this got seen. Because phone alarms have saved me.

  115. OneLuckyDuck*

    100%, ask for reasonable accommodations when interviewing! My very talented husband with Central Auditory Processing Disorder physically *can not* hear a question, formulate an answer in his head, then present it to interviewers in a compelling way. Even when he totally knows the material and answer they’re looking for. No success for 15+ years, then two promotions in the past 3 years with just an extra 10 minutes to read the question and outline a response. (Done right before the interview, your accommodation may be different). Good luck, and great question for the thread!

  116. Destra N.*

    As a mildly neurospicy director-level employee, I have NEVER been so successful at my work as I have under the EOS system. It’s meant to be deployed company-wide, but honestly, you could roll out a version of it just for your team. The reason it works for me is that I know exactly what I’m supposed to be working on, have quarterly project goals with deadlines and clear milestones that help avoid that panicky sense of overwhelm, we check in on those goals during every team meeting so they never fall under the radar, and every meeting is structured in a very specific way so that everyone always knows what to expect and where/when to raise issues for discussion. I really appreciate having a predictable meeting structure to corral my runaway brain. (Related: Reject any meetings that don’t have an agenda prepared ahead of time. The agenda provides the structure we need, and it also enforces the idea that every meeting must have a clear purpose. Delegate the agenda to someone on your team.)

    Separately, I use the hell out of my public calendar. Everything from meetings to project time gets scheduled. Not only do I then know exactly what I should be working on at any given time (which eliminates the “too many things to do and therefore nothing gets done” sort of paralysis in which us ADHD folks are experts), but no one else can schedule that time. Your calendar is a visual aid – a chart no different than a line graph or a pie chart – that shows your availability. Project time is NOT available time in my world. It is sacred, no one else can have it. If I do need that time for a meeting, then project time gets *moved*, not deleted. This also helps tremendously with learning how much time projects actually will take, which is helpful since ADHD makes it really tough to estimate time.

    A management trick that I deploy when my brain freezes due to being overwhelmed by a request is to delay having to think about it by asking a clarifying question, even something so basic as “When do you need this by?” will do the trick. That usually buys me time to process it more deeply while I’m waiting for the other person to respond. When a direct report brings an issue to my attention, my question is often “What is your recommendation?” Bonus: 90% of the time, their recommendation is just fine, and then I let them implement their solution instead of trying to take it on – they get the credit and my head doesn’t explode, so it’s a win-win.

    My last note here is that it is not your job as a manager to be good at everything. That is what your team is for. Understanding and acknowledging exactly what your weaknesses are is critical because whatever you’re not so great at is often something you can delegate to someone who is!

    1. Annie*

      I hadn’t heard of “the EOS system” before today.

      Do you mean “Entrepreneurial Operating System”, or something else?

  117. Catgirl*

    My advice is don’t disclose at work if you can help it. My employer who prides themselves on being accepting and supportive has subjected me to multiple lectures on how my neurodivergence makes people uncomfortable and I could stop being neurodivergent if I just TRIED hard enough.

  118. The Data Diva*

    Managing created new challenges for me as there was so much more interpersonal stuff, which I am not always the best at. I created routines that supported the type of manager I wanted to be (e.g. walk by employee’s office and say hi/check-in every morning, or get Starbucks once a week and invite employee along). This made all of my interpersonal actions feel so much easier, because they were basically part of my schedule. That may seem cold, but it’s what my brain needed. I also take notes on things employees tell me about their personal lives so I can remind myself to ask about them later.

    I also script difficult conversations, and write extensive notes so that I know exactly what I want to say going into a meeting. Role-playing with a friend can also be really helpful- I’ve role played difficult conversations with my boss (also neurodivergent) and my spouse.

  119. Office Rat*

    I am autistic, high functioning, and honestly the best accommodation I received was to work a 4 day work week. Just having an extra day off to lay in bed and get over the work week has made me much more functional, and capable of interacting with people. It’s made the difference in my losing another job or quitting and staying at my current job, now hitting 6 years. I’ve never stayed at a job so long before, and I am doing well.

  120. Hermione Danger*

    I have ADHD and have had a number of jobs with lots going on and short turnaround times. These are the things that help me:
    1) A bullet journal – it’s the only scheduling/tracking system that has ever worked for me, and I track things by month, week and day in it. A side benefit is that if I stop updating it, I know I’m getting overwhelmed and need my manager’s support in re-prioritizing.
    2) An evolving task list in Excel. I organize it by deadline, and if it’s something iterative, there are also columns to indicate where it is and when it’s due back to me and what my next steps are. I review it every morning, revise it as needed, and give it a final revision as the last thing I do each day. This is especially helpful during our busy season when I’ve got way too much going on to track in my head. It’s also something I can email weekly to my manager so she knows where I am on each project.
    3) A legal pad on which I can break down big projects into smaller tasks and then prioritize. So I know what order to do the work, I’m not wasting bullet journal pages, and I have the satisfaction of crossing things off as they get done. Also, for me, working on the list by hand helps me think more clearly about what I’m doing and what needs to be done.
    I have all three of these items going at once, since they let me look at everything that’s going on in different ways.

  121. Veryanon*

    I have ADHD, which wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my 5os, and I’m also most likely on the ASD spectrum. Some coping skills I developed were to become hyper organized. Everything goes on my calendar, I set up folders in my email for different things I’m working on, and I use outlook to flag things I need to follow up on. There are time management and project management courses in LinkedIn Learning that might be helpful.
    In meetings, I find it helps to keep my camera off and make sure I have something nearby to keep my hands busy so I can focus.
    I’ve also worked on my interpersonal and communications skills by keeping visible reminders around to make sure I’m giving others space to talk and/or provide input. I read over emails at least twice before sending them for tone. I remind myself all the time to include greetings and language like “I hope this finds you well” – things that naturally occur to others.
    I hope this is helpful.

  122. WillowSunstar*

    Suspect Asperger’s here. Chat GPT has helped me with writing emails to not be blunt. One thing that works well is creating templates that can then be modified to fit different situations. For example, in the old days I might have said something like ,”Hello, can you send me file xyz by noon today?” and not much else. Chat GPT comes up with I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to kindly request (document name) that I need today to proceed with task (xyz). If possible, could you please send it over by (specific time)? I would greatly appreciate your prompt assistance. Thank you in advance for your help. (etc). As you can see, much improved from what I would have sent.

  123. Kella*

    This is more of an overarching principle to follow than a specific hack: Make a habit of noticing when you’re struggling with something and when you say to yourself “I *should* be able to do this.” This may be a sign that you are completing the task in the (neuro)typical way and you’re letting the fact that many people do it that way determine how you do it, and inform your judgement on whether you’re doing it well or not.

    Take a step back, look at the task, ask yourself why you believe you “should” be able to do it. Is there another way to do it that would make it easier? Are you expending a lot of mental and emotional resources to do it the typical way when another method would be more efficient for *your* brain specifically? Or, if it’s something you have been able to do at a higher level in the past, use this “should” as a flag to examine what’s different and what is making it more challenging for you in this context. “Power through” and “try harder” are rarely the most efficient solutions when something is hard.

    1. Scott*

      This, when you’re struggling it means something isn’t working…if you’re autistic life is a constant discomfort, so it’s better to figure out another way instead of pushing into discomfort. We’ve done that enough already (even if it is really frustrating to not be able to do “normal” things or work the same amount or way as other people.)

  124. Library Lady*

    I’m going to send this to my husband – he’s been recently diagnosed as autistic, has moderate to severe OCD and depression, and has been unemployed for 6 years because of these challenges.

    Also if anyone has suggestions on how to potentially reenter the workplace after such a long time of not working that would also be helpful! I have no idea what to suggest for him

    1. CanadaGoose*

      Hm, as a recently-identified autistic person who was underemployed for a while, I suggest:
      1. Therapy
      2. Daily structure
      Work up to the daily/weekly structure of working for pay by signing up for a skill-building class and/or getting a volunteer “job”, and spending some of the non-booked time on studying work norms. This blog plus Alison’s books are a good start. Then do some career assessment stuff to see where skills and interests match up with jobs that are out there. Pick a field or job junction, and get some recent training or experience doing the thing (see the class or volunteer job advice above). Meanwhile, reserve time in the week for job search activities.
      Some light networking – ie letting people you know that you’re looking for/available for work of ___ type is fine. People want to be helpful! Sign up with temp and other employment agencies if they sometimes have the right kind of job – that’s what worked for me. Dont bother with the “networking” of meeting a big group of strangers who may have icky sales pitches of their own. Do talk to classmates and fellow volunteers about your goals and theirs, just as a get-to-know-you activity.
      Also, figure out the clothes/shoes/grooming combo that is sensory-friendly and professional. Use some or all of it when you’re getting into work mode, including class/volunteer work and job search tasks. Setting up a dedicated location (desk or half of the dining table) is also smart space planning.
      Dont forget to build in eating, drinking, rest/play, and exercise. These take time, too, and focus on work isn’t sustainable for more than a couple hours without a planned break for meeting brain and body needs. I made the mistake of thinking that an 8-hour workday meant working for 8 hours straight. But it’s normal to work intermittently, with resets every 2-3 hours.

  125. Scott*

    Stay within your realm of success. I have about a postcard’s worth of rules I need to follow. Within those rules I’m fairly effective and good at my job, if I step outside of those accommodations or try to push it, I fail.

    That list will be different for different people, it can include the number of hours you can work at this particular job, the sensory set up of the job, noise levels, lighting, one on one vs in groups, design of the spaces, autonomy for working, set schedule vs freedom to choose hours, emotionally intelligent supervisor.

    What makes you function effectively? (This is super important when picking a job, make sure the job aligns with how you function).

  126. Owl-a-roo*

    TL;DR: Take some time to think about your basic daily needs and have a plan for making sure they stay met during the day. This is a major factor in maintaining focus. Below, I’ve detailed some examples of how I do this for myself.

    I grew up playing The Sims, so the analogy I use is the Needs bars: I want as many of them to be green as possible. The original Sims uses Hunger, Bladder, Energy, Room, Comfort, Social, Fun, and Hygiene. It’s a simplistic framework, but it helps to have a frame of reference. The three that really sneak up on me in an office environment are Hunger, Comfort, and Social.

    Hunger – I need to come in with either a packed lunch or a definite plan for lunch (i.e., decide the night before that I’m going to order from Jimmy John’s for lunch tomorrow); otherwise, lunch becomes An Ordeal that ends in something unsatisfying, usually cold Pop Tarts from the vending machine. I also have a pretty big water bottle to ensure I stay hydrated all day without having to refill more than once.

    Comfort – Offices often run VERY chilly, especially in the summer when the A/C is on. When I had a dedicated desk, I used a space heater in my area to keep myself comfortable (layers of clothing aren’t always enough for my perpetual chill). Our department moved to a different building post-COVID, and space heaters are unfortunately forbidden there. After some trial and error, I’ve settled on a heating pad that can easily roll up and fit in my backpack. I also keep some low-caffeine and no-caffeine tea bags with me so I can chug hot beverages. In a pinch, I will sometimes just put straight-up hot water in my travel mug without any tea. I also make sure my workspace meets my ergonomic needs – at home, I use a laptop riser and separate keyboard to prevent hunching over my laptop; at the office, I spend a couple of minutes making sure the chair height, lumbar, and arms are JUST right (we hotdesk, so it’s a different chair each time).

    Social – I am a delicate soul who needs the perfect balance of people and no-people. If I haven’t spoken to anybody all day, I can get very lonely; if I’ve had a TON of meetings, I get overstimulated and start shutting down. I have a few work buddies who are good for a quick chat if I want to say hi. Our building happens to have a few “wellness” rooms (separate from lactation rooms); so if I get incredibly overstimulated, I can find one and calm down for a few minutes.

  127. Good Wilhelmina Hunting*

    If you are underemployed because your education wasn’t adequately supported, follow Rudy Simone’s advice and get your degree so you can get the hell out of having to work as a waiter, salesperson, admin etc. As a ND who made that journey in midlife, it’s not just an employment game changer, it’s a different world.

  128. fka Get Me Out of Here*

    My therapist and I just yesterday came up with a new system for me to try (ADHD). Pomodoros work sometimes, Caveday (body-doubling over Zoom) works sometimes, and we came up with a couple other ideas, but usually they only work for a couple of days before I start going off the rails. Her original suggestion was that Mondays I do one technique, then Tuesday another, but I immediately recoiled because that felt too structured. What I suggested to build on her idea, though, was to put slips of paper in a bowl with different strategies and use that strategy for the day. I put the slip back so I can still have a chance of getting it the next day. Today I’m using Caveday and holy cow am I slamming through work. This is still a new system to me (lol) so it may not stick, but it is currently novel so right now it’s working for me!

    The strategies are: Caveday (body-doubling), pomodoros, Eat That Frog (most challenging thing first), keeping my phone away from my desk, and using Apple Downtime to limit access to my most time-wasting apps. (My phone is probably my biggest distraction, and the last two are things I haven’t really tried before.)

    1. Mid*

      I love screen time limits! If you always go over, you can have a friend set a password that’s unknown to you. I don’t have a password set for mine, because the pop-up is usually enough to break the time wasting trance I’m in. I’ve also noticed I’ve gotten better at “saving” my screen time for later in the evening instead of always running out in the morning.

  129. Lizbrarian*

    I recently was diagnosed with ADHD, and it explains a lot with how I work and how I process information. Unfortunately I don’t trust my boss with this information, so I need this information so I can work on things and not burst into tears in the bathroom after meetings.

  130. Zap R.*

    My biggest issue (besides the effect of time blindness on my commute) is that I’m trapped in a terrible admin job because the job hunting cycle is nearly impossible to navigate with ADHD:

    Step 1: Update your resume. No typos or formatting errors allowed. Sink into profound depression when you realize how little you’ve done with your life on account of your disability.

    Step 2: Sort through hundreds of job postings until you have a handful that could kinda sorta fit your skill set. Maybe no one will notice that you don’t have any of the required soft skills (i.e. confidence, follow-through, punctuality.) Anyway, none of the postings list a salary, so you’ll just have to find out in the interview whether you’ll be able to pay rent.

    Step 3: Write a bespoke cover letter for each of the jobs you find. Try to make yourself sound competent without sounding arrogant and enthusiastic without sounding desperate. *You* wouldn’t hire you in a million years but whatever.

    Step 4: Tediously retype all of that info into the company’s online application portal.

    Step 5: Wait.

    Step 6: Wait.

    Step 7: Wait.

    Step 8: Get an interview. Iron your best dress. Attempt to make your hair look okay. Makeup? Oh god, no time. Where’s the printout of your resume? Oh, Jesus Christ, why is it on the kitchen table? Whatever, maybe they won’t notice the coffee stain. Too late for the subway so you guess you’ll spend $25 you don’t have on an Uber. You can practice suppressing the myriad tics that have alienated your peers since grade school in the car.

    Step 9: Wait

    Step 10: Wait.

    Step 11: Second interview! It went well, you think! Now they’re just going to call your…Oh, god. You forgot to notify your references.

    Step 12: Wait.

    Step 13: Rejection! Hope your wild emotional dysregulation and lifetime of humiliating social failures don’t cause you to take it personally!

    Step 14: See Step 1

    1. Zap R.*

      Anyway, I just realized that this comment offered zero advice to OP but if I’m being honest, I’ve never actually found anything that helps besides the mild focus boost I get from lo-fi compilations and noise generators.

    2. Festively Dressed Earl*

      Step 1: set reminder to virtual-hug Zap R. Unless that bugs you and then I won’t.
      Step 2: Add “yet” to each sentence on the list of things I haven’t done either.
      Step 3: Iron the best dress or interview outfit when you finish cleaning it, or do that as a fidget when you’re procrastinating on something else. You’re gonna need it eventually and that way it’s just ready to go at all times. It’s your personal Batsuit.
      Step 4: Learn a skill when you’re waiting – practice a language, do an Excel tutorial, take a Khan Academy class on something you missed in school, explore brilliant. org. Voila, at least you accomplished something in your downtime.
      Step 5: Crap, wasn’t I supposed to remember to virtual hug you? That’s what that ding was, wasn’t it?

        1. CanadaGoose*

          Yay! Thanks, Festively Dressed Earl. I’m not Zap R., but I got warm fuzzies from reading this anyway.

  131. K Smith*

    Networking doesn’t have to be “circulating through a large room of strangers making small talk.” For a long time I though this was the only way to ‘network’ and then I felt like a failure because I’m just not able to do that.

    My best ‘network’ contacts are people I work with that know me as competent and hardworking, and will go to bat for me when I need their help/referrals for a new job/workplace advice/whatever. I try to actively cultivate those individual relationships – a simple ‘thank you’ with an explanation for how much you appreciate their support goes a long way.

    It took me a long time to get comfortable with this – I’ll never again go to some god awful (for me) ‘networking’ event or conference full of strangers and then beat myself up for standing in the corner and not talking to anyone. You can do well in many professions by cultivating a few good relationships instead of having 50+ contacts you only have met once.

  132. Suzie O.*

    I got a late diagnosis of ADD, and found that I naturally over the years developed some coping mechanisms. What works best for me is to color code my emails as red (needs action), yellow (waiting on a response), or green (background info). Copious notes in OneNote also helps. My calendar is only shared with a few people, so I put hot due outs/deadlines there as well.

  133. Salsa Your Face*

    AuDHD here. I tell people the truth about the ways that my thinking differs from the norm without explicitly saying why, so as not to introduce any prejudice.

    I might say something like “I’m a really high context person, so I might have several follow-up questions that I’ll need to have answered before I get started, and if there are any areas where you can provide background detail on why things are being done a certain way, that will help me as well.”

    Or I might let someone know that I’m going to be taking notes during a discussion that most people wouldn’t take notes on, because I don’t retain verbal information very well.

    What it boils down to is identifying the exact ways that I know I work best (which, to be fair, were discovered through long periods of trial and error) and not being shy about verbalizing them and taking the space I need to ensure that my needs are met so that I can do my job effectively.

    1. Salsa Your Face*

      Also, and I know this isn’t necessarily possible for everyone, but I specifically steered myself towards an industry that I knew would be a good fit for me. My work is project based, which means that the essence of the work that I do always remains the same (good for my autism), but the topic of the project introduces novelty that keeps things feeling fresh (good for my ADHD.) And, because the only thing that really matters is that I deliver my work on time, I’m able to alternate between procrastination and hyperfocus depending on what my brain is demanding of me at any given time.

  134. Good Lord Ratty*

    Radical acceptance.

    I work in a very rulebound organization (the rules by which we do our jobs are literally laws) and yet there are exceptions for every damn thing. This is annoying and often inefficient, and there is nothing I can do to change it. (Yes, I work in government.)

    It feels Deeply Wrong and Unjust to me, much of the time, but as there’s nothing to be done, the best thing for me to do is to practice radical acceptance around it.

    Also, take notes on literally every process in OneNote. I also colour-code my email inbox. I have multiple tab groups and pinned tabs (also colour-coded) in my browser. My personal file management system is highly specific to me, but I hew to it absolutely. Find what works for you and stick to it.

  135. RogueTrainer*

    An ADHD trick I picked up from an ADHD supervisor I adored working with: get a cube timer. She really enjoyed chatting with folks, and had a tendency to overrun meeting times or lose track of time, so she used these timers that she could flip at the start of a meeting or even while the chat was happening- a long one for meetings with 10/15/20/30 minute limits or a shorter one for non-work chats with 1/3/5/10 minute limits. When the timer went off, it signaled that the meeting/chat was done (or needed to be) so everyone could refocus. She also explained that the timer was to keep her on track, not to cut us off, so if we were talking through something important that needed more time, it could be reset. It really helped me, and I use the short timer method occasionally for training classes with new hires- especially since we do training as a pull-out program with limited time for working through the material, it helps keep chatting to a minimum or refocus everyone from whatever tangent we’ve gone down. I haven’t needed it as often since I started taking medication for my ADHD after finally receiving a diagnosis, but it’s still a very useful tool.

  136. Sydni*

    I have not read all the comments, so this may have been mentioned, but I prefer to track tasks on paper, not digitally. I don’t always need to keep super organized, but when I do (like when I worked from home and lost all external time/task cues) I like the bullet journal method. If you search online you will find all these fancy layouts and artwork and it makes it look extremely intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. I recommend the book “The Bullet Journal Method” by Ryder Carroll who developed the system to work with his ADHD. It is a pretty simple, straightforward way to keep track of meeting notes, To Do lists, calendars etc. in a single notebook and it’s completely adaptable to your needs. Spending time at the start of the month, week and day laying out known meetings, tasks, and appointments is helpful to getting prepared, breaking down tasks with longer due dates, and not accidently forgetting something that was written on a sticky note and covered up by a doom pile.

  137. Misquoted*

    If it’s appropriate to do so, I recommend the information in the blog at Thrive (thriveautismcoaching.com).

  138. Maleficent2026*

    ADHD with other neuro spiciness in the mix. Embrace your quirks! Lego has been a great tool for me over the years. Need to focus while giving a presentation? Fidget with a minifig in my pocket. Need a brain break? 10-15 minutes building a set. Need to pay attention in a boring meeting? Minifigs or a small pile of bricks to stack.
    I’m discovering that in the field I’m now in, many of the successful people have at least a small level of neurodivergence, because this is a field that plays to our strengths. So I’ve made it a point to develop a “Lego Lady” persona at work. My desk has several sets displayed. I use Lego themed office supplies. I bring a small box of minifigs to meetings and encourage people to use them as needed. I keep a larger box of assorted bricks at my desk for either myself or others to use as needed. I’m only about 18 months into this position, but since my work has been excellent, people seem to be more willing to see Lego as a tool instead of just a toy.

  139. BuckeyeIT*

    In true ADHD fashion, I have not read all of the comments here- but the thing that has helped me the most is a Rocketbook. Since my working memory is practically non-existent, I make that my external working memory & carry it everywhere to jot things down. Then, I use the app on my phone to scan it (I scan to Trello) and you can hashtag items to help organize the scans.

  140. HCworker*

    Undiagnosed but probable ASD (with the qualifications to accurately determine that). This is what helps me. YMMV, I know some of these are particular to having a private office and/or telework available; I’m sorry if they don’t help all the way.

    1) I brought in table lamps and never use my overhead fluorescents
    2) I have two categories of stims: public and private. For public, I have worry stones to touch and play with. For private, when I need to I close my door and just rock or sway until I feel better.
    3) Weighted blanket. Even if just for a few minutes thrown over my shoulders between meetings.
    4) Letting my mask down around understanding and supportive coworkers. I have a lunch friend and we have a no masking rule with each other for our private lunches together.
    5) I repeat all instructions back to my colleagues/supervisors. That way I know I got it right and they have an opportunity to add any unspoken instructions that I didn’t articulate because they flew right by me.
    6) I use CBT techniques to identify when I’m getting stuck on certain self-loathing thought spirals because I’m only focusing on one type of evidence or I’m disqualifying evidence that I’m doing well. This is helpful because I sincerely never have any idea what anyone around me thinks of me unless they articulate it to me directly, but sometimes I fill in the blanks with very negative stuff.

  141. Design&Grind*

    If I really have to focus on a task and get it done, I use the pomodoro technique of working in short intervals of 25 minutes, with short breaks in between intervals. I like this free online timer https://pomofocus.io/. Mentally, while still hard, it’s a lot easier to get yourself to focus for 25 minutes at a time.

    1. amoeba*

      Yup – not many things work for me, but this is among the better ones. Also, when I’m feeling really stuck, I change the settings to as low as 10 mins work interval or less (with 10 min breaks). Basically, as short as necessary to get started. For me, the hardest part is not the focus itself, but really rather getting started, so when I know it’s only, like, 7 mins, I can usually do it! I then gradually increase the length until I eventually end up at the standard 25/5 (or not! Even if I’m just getting work done in 10 min intervals, it’s still much more than 0…)

  142. ecnaseener*

    I am not a manager so I can’t speak to that element of it, but I always like to recommend this to-do spreadsheet: https://twiceroyaldove.tumblr.com/post/631783365878611968

    It’s particularly helpful if you struggle with initiating tasks because you can’t decide what to do first, and it also helps with time blindness because you’re prompted to estimate the duration of a task when you first enter it into the list.

    I feel your pain about specific tools being recommended over and over, I think it’s just a quintessential part of the ADHD experience that for any given tool or strategy there will be some ADHDers who swear by it and others for whom it’s useless or even actively unhelpful.

    The only universally helpful tip is, keep in mind that you’re under no obligation to do things the “normal” or intuitive way. If you find something that works for you, cherish it – don’t talk yourself out of using it because it’s weird or convoluted or feels like you’re “giving in” to something.

    1. Festively Dressed Earl*

      Bookmarked, thank you! Task paralysis/executive dysfunction is a big problem for me.

  143. LabManagerGuy*

    I have a lot of neurodivergent characteristics and conditions, but I’m fortunate that most of them don’t impact me too directly at work (because of what they are and the fact that I work a highly flexible job in a field notoriously packed to the gills with neurodivergent folk). The biggest work-related problems all stem from my ADHD, and some large fraction of those have been managed with a truly comprehensive system of alarms and calendar reminders. I have a dozen or more meetings a week, and without all of the electronic assists, I’d miss more than half of them. They also help with things like due dates, which, given that I have two dozen or more tasks at a time, is pretty important.

  144. Festively Dressed Earl*

    ADHD only, no LD or autism that I know of, so take what works. Diagnosed as an adult and had to figure out what worked for me fast since I had to take the bar exam.

    *Pomodoro method – pick a task, work for a timed amount of time followed by a timed break, repeat two or three more times, then take a longer break. Classic is 25-30 minutes followed by 5 minute short breaks and a 15-30 minute long break; I do 30-45 minutes followed by 10 minute short break and 30-45 long break.
    *Always have at least two tasks/projects going; when you get bored of one, rotate to the next one. Helps scratch the need to procrastinate while still keeping you productive. When I was studying, I’d rotate between 2-3 different subjects.
    *Like everyone else said, reminders! I even have calendar reminders to eat, because hyperfocus is no joke.
    *Timers if you have time blindness.
    *Dice or a random number generator to overcome analysis paralysis. I have numbered lists of things that need to be done daily/weekly, and if I get stuck deciding what to do, I will literally roll a d20 and do that thing. For me, the important thing is to get in motion before being stuck turns into hours of distraction. Once I’m in the rhythm of doing something, the ‘next thing to do’ often falls into place.
    *Gamified productivity tools. I use one probably meant for teenagers called Spirit City. Take your dopamine where you can get it.
    *Take notes in trainings/when getting instructions. I often have questions come up mid-stream, interrupt to ask, and then everyone else gets to go on a tangent with me. Not good. If I write down my questions, the trainer/presenter/supervisor will often answer them as they go along without me breaking in. Then I ask anything still open when they invite questions or finish presenting.

    1. Mid*

      Other gamified task apps (I haven’t used most of these and can’t speak to their quality or cost):
      Habitica
      Habits Garden
      Todoist
      Forest
      Habitify
      Trackabi
      Any.do
      EpicWin
      Beeminder
      Level Up Life
      Do It Now

      I personally LOVE Habitica, and I’ve been an on-off user for almost a decade.

  145. Murfle*

    Chiming in again with another note:

    My particular flavour of ADHD affects my ability to process auditory information. That, combined with my difficulty focusing means that if I’m not actively involved in a meeting and taking notes, a lot of important information just slides off my brain. Here are a few scripts to deal with that:

    – “Can you run that by me again?” (AKA: a more polite way of saying “can you repeat what you just said?”)
    – “Can you follow up with me on Slack or send an email? It will be easier for me to action everything if I see all the feedback/notes/action items at once”
    – “I think I’ve understood, but can you send me a message on Slack or email? It’s better all around if I can see it, not just hear it.”

  146. Mid*

    Figure out what your needs and likes are, and then figure out how that translates to work. (But also be aware they might change! Especially with ADHD, it’s soooo common for your coping strategies to rather suddenly stop being effective and you need to change things up.)

    For me, I really really hate working in an open office. Like, I know a lot of people dislike it, but it makes me nearly non-functional. Headphones don’t do enough for me. Seeing people moving around me, getting interrupted, feeling self-consciousness about needing to stand up or get snacks, having to wear Highly Professional Clothing, all of that makes me miserable. When I do have to be in the office, I get nothing done, and I’m a chatty menace which means no one else around me gets anything done either.

    So, to deal with this, I prioritize working remotely. I will take a lower paying or less interesting position for the ability to work from home 100% of the time. I will tolerate 1 in-office day per week at most, and make sure that I stick to that when looking at new positions. (There are a lot of pros and cons for WFH, and I also know a lot of ADHD people who can’t handle it because it’s hard to stay motivated to actually complete the work, or they need more social engagement, etc.)

    I also need to KISS my organization systems. I’ve found one, simple way to keep track of what I need to do, and I do not change or make it more complicated, even though I often have the urge. I use Microsoft To Do and flag emails in Outlook. To Do syncs to your task list in outlook and flagged emails show up in To Do, so I can edit things and mark them as done in either place and it reflects in both places. I flag things with their due dates, but I don’t color code or do anything else to make it more complex, because it ends up breaking down for me. I also will use post-its taped to my monitors for things I need reminders on that aren’t to-dos but more like recurring things (eg Client X needs Y file format.) I have all training notes written down in one notebook that is never allowed to leave my desk or be used for anything other than training notes. And then I also never, ever trust myself to remember something. I always make a note or a task. I will not remember what I was doing or why I paused the task to come back to it later without documenting it. I also work in the legal industry, so there’s a strong culture of documentation and record keeping, which works well for me.

    I need work that isn’t super monotonous, or at least it has ebbs and flows. If I have exactly 30 hours of work every single week, I’m going to struggle, because my productivity is deeply inconsistent at times. However, if I have two weeks of 50 hours of work, and two weeks of 20 hours of work, I’ll be great. Same amount of work, but I need the ebb and flow to keep myself engaged and interested. I work in a fairly boring role, but it’s very cyclical work, so that works really well for me.

    Basically, my biggest tip is to sit and really evaluate what your needs are, and then work to figure out how those can fit or be accommodated in a workplace. Everyone has needs, just neurodivergent people sometimes have a narrower scope of acceptable, in my personal experience. It’s also a fact that certain industries and roles will never be a good fit for some people, no matter the accommodations. (Someone with a phobia of public speaking is likely not going to do well as the Press Secretary, and someone who hates water won’t be a good swim coach.) Knowing your strengths and limitations will help you set yourself up for success more than anything else. Trying to put a square peg in a round hole will never feel good in the long run.

    Some questions to ask: Do you need a job that has a lot of movement or sedentary? Do you need to be social at work or do you need to sit in a cave and be left alone? Do you need a quiet environment or a louder one? Lots of routine or lots of chaos? How do you communicate best? How do you learn best? What are your skills and strengths and what fills your cup? What things are really challenging for you and what drains you? What does your support network look like outside of work? Do you want your work to be fulfilling or do you get fulfillment outside of work? Do you like a lot of clear hierarchy or more flat structures? Do you like rigid workplaces with a lot of rules and clear roles or more artsy, fluid work with flexibility about roles and duties? Do you like steady work or cyclical?

    What are your hard lines, and what things can you be flexible on? (E.g. I have a hard line about how much I’m in an open office and I can’t tolerate customer facing roles, but can be flexible about my commute distance and flexible work hours and can be in-office more often if I’m guaranteed a private office.)

    Once you know yourself and your needs, you can then find work environments that support you, or can be adapted to suit you.

    1. Mid*

      Also, for me, not being ashamed of my needs was huge. I know my brain works differently than most people’s. I will not feel bad about that. That also then translated to me being much more willing to seek accommodations when needed and to find workplaces that were more suitable for me, rather than trying to force myself to work in ways that didn’t work for me.

  147. Sunny*

    As an AUDHD manager myself I am finding lots of suggestions to consider for myself!

    Things I find helpful during my workday:

    – EMERGENCY. SNACK. STASH. Protein bars. Almonds. Cheese sticks. Olives. (These are my favorite snacks) and some chocolate even. I am very bad about getting in the zone and crashing myself out. I started keeping small portions of snacks on hand that work for me as an energy boost and keep me from hitting the braindead blood sugar crash. The chocolate is for my emotional emergencies lol.

    – big water bottle or big cup of water to keep you hydrating throughout the day. Similar reasons as the snacks—I’m a better boss when I’m fed and hydrated. (:

    – I use my email (outlook) calendar and program reminders for things that happen on regular intervals so I don’t forget to follow up.

    – this is a little chaotic, but I leave emails for tasks/projects/requests that are in progress open and only close the email when I complete the task. It works for me, though!

    – most important to me for actual work things is my “to do” journal, which I keep in a physical journal because it sticks into my head better to write things down via a pen, and I like to practice my penmanship (: . I use a very loose bullet style for this (nothing fancy, it is literally bullet points and then an arrow next to the task if I move it to the next day) and then I write down meetings (with times!) that i have, work items I would ideally like to complete, and may add to it throughout the day. However, the key step is either at the close of day or start of day to set up your to do list. I generally use close of day for that so I can help myself turn off my brain from work mode.

    – from the book “how to keep house while drowning” there was a section on the “on ramp” effect — the smallest step to getting you to a task. i actually use this idea for some of my big picture goals and team projects, and have gotten incredible results. By making bite sized pieces of a larger problem and distributing them to my team based on their strengths and growth goals, daunting and even ambiguous tasks became much easier and it really helped me learn to delegate better and break my own projects down, too.

    – less tangible but no less important for me was actively working on flexibility when the day’s plans go awry. Being able to adapt from the “ugh today was crazy, I didn’t get anything done” to the “I didn’t get my to-do list items cleared out, but I put out six fires and didn’t get burned once” mindset was very useful for my overall sanity and stress levels.

    – have some support for yourself in place if you can. I don’t know about you, but I find that long and hard days for anyone are sometimes doubly hard on me. One rough work day can make me super worn out for multiple days after, and I started getting planning for the tiredness to an extent. I have some weeks where I can cook just fine, but plenty of other nights where I have very easy to prepare meals from Trader Joe’s in the fridge or freezer (frozen butter chicken my beloved) so I can just chill out faster instead of having to work + commute + chores. Figuring out which chores you can configure to be easier has helped me a lot.

    Anyway, maybe none of these work for you, and that is okay, but I hope you find some great tips that help you.

  148. leif*

    I don’t know what industry you work in as I work in food service so this may or may not be helpful. (I have autism and an additional disability). But I find it’s important to figure out what you need, and then figure out how to apply it to the workplace. If that’s consistent ten-minute breaks, if it is making a to-do list that is on paper and color-coordinated, if it is only scheduling meetings on a certain day, just apply the ways that you support and accommodate yourself at home. In food service for me a lot of that is physical comfort, so ensuring that I bring electrolytes and snacks, and get good soles for my shoes. I also don’t schedule anything else on days that I work long shifts (as a full timer that obviously sucks, but since work drains all of my mental energy and sensory tolerance, I could harm myself further if I did that). I keep things that I shouldn’t forget, etc. on a sticky note in my pocket, and I religiously protect my days off. I also established with my manager that I need the same days off every single week (like Tuesday or Wednesday), even if that day changes when staff quit etc., because consistency is important for me. I find that managers and coworkers are very open to the idea of someone’s brain working differently and VERY opposed to the idea of autism or disability, ironically. So I phrase things like “my brain just works better when ___” or “it makes it easier to plan when my schedule stays the same” or “I need to take a break, I’m feeling overwhelmed” or “can you walk me through that/show me that in person/write that down”? I always skip the middleman of the reason WHY I am like that and people respond a lot better because it doesn’t trigger ableism. You can also say things like “it’s important to me” etc. like set your boundaries! You do not have to explain yourself any more than a neurotypical person does! Finally, my advice is: survive, and then outside of work, establish things you like to do, and establish good self-esteem. I have been regularly reprimanded at previous jobs for pretty much everything about me (at one job, even how much weight I put on one foot when I stand) and that can really wear down on you. I am good and fast, have excellent customer service, and have good relationships with my coworkers, all confirmed by managers, so it’s a constant frustration because I think that’s what should matter, but I digress. Put your boundary up when you need to and don’t push yourself somewhere you can’t. My real advice is: survive in a workplace that is NOT made for us, do not give all of yourself to it. Support and love your neurodivergence and your disability in life outside of work and build yourself up in a way that you can’t at work. There is no way to fully accommodate yourself in some environments, but you have to let go of that a little bit. Don’t make every weird social interaction with a coworker into your own fault. There’s two people in every interaction. Don’t beat yourself up; take care of yourself. Do self-care, regulate your body outside of work. If you do disclose your disability, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. I’ve been fired the one time I tried, so I don’t disclose anymore, but if I ever am in a non-food environment where I would try again, I would DOCUMENT this time!!! Good luck!

    1. Boof*

      … it’s interesting you note you skip to the ask and avoid the why now as it’s more successful. I realized I have some staff (and sometimes I do it myself, though I’ve really tried to stop) who tend to start with the justification/the why and not the actual question; and it’s actually really confusing (plus I start to zone out when I hear about all the different scheduling conflicts before I hear the “so is it ok if we delay things 1 week?”) and hard to follow without the context of what are they seeking (a lot of the time they’ve already got something in mind; vs if they want me to try to solve the problem then I need to sit down / open charts / start looking at things usually instead of hearing a list)
      There’s a lot of reasons why just starting with the solution / ask rather the explanation is a good idea, and only get into the reasons if it’s requested/required!

  149. FluffskyMom*

    AuDHD therapist here. I am a therapist, not your therapist. Here are some tips about how I’m able to manage: regular sensory breaks, every hour. I’m talking lights off, sound off, and simply breathing. I also build structure into my day, and make sure there is transition time. In addition, meet basic needs: nutrition, hydration, hygiene, and rest. That is BASIC maintenance, not self-care. You must meet your minimal energy needs in order to enforce boundaries, as change requires EXTRA energy. Self care is anything in excess of basic maintenance.

  150. asbanks*

    Lots of wonderful comments here! Hoping to piggy-back while we’re all sharing solutions:

    Has anybody found something that helps them for long meetings?

    Fidget toys aren’t enough for me when I’m in a 4-5 hour presentation with little discussion/interaction. I tried knitting, but I’m not good enough at it yet for it to be a background thing and not a full-focus thing.

    1. Mid*

      Can you get up and walk around, or stand up? Or get up and “use the restroom” (aka just walk outside for a minute)? Do you get food or breaks in these meetings? Can you take hand written notes (and doodle a bit)? Can you do anything before the meetings to make them more tolerable, like go to the gym right before? Can you volunteer to have a more active role in these meetings, like being the slide changer or question moderator or timer?

      For what it’s worth, no one can really pay attention for 4-5 hours, especially when there’s nothing interactive. Everyone is zoning out and likely not retaining anything past the first hour or so.

    2. Fluff*

      Oh my, those are some loooong meetings.

      I like to have a menu of exit strategies to use. You do not have todo the reason for the script – it is to give you a temporary exit for a brain break. I am ND and I am totally fine if people get up for a break and return. However, in some work places, you may need to ‘appear’ to step out for socially accepted reasons.

      Every meeting options
      – have a drink bottle with you. Or a hot tea (pack your tea bags). Then you have to at least get up to refill it. Or dump out what you have a refill it. Or to get hot water.
      – bathroom break.

      Every third meeting or so.
      – Step out to take a call – “excuse me” and hold your phone in a specific way.
      – step out to get a sweater (return with sweater but take a ‘brain’ detour).

      If workplace is friendly – warn those who need to know ahead of time. “I may have to get up an move about it as sitting for so long is hard today.”
      Then step out and do a brain break – short walk, step outside for some vitamin D, breathing , etc.

      If you need ideas and your brain can manage it, watch the others and see how they take breaks. I find having ITTT (If this, then that options) because my brain will go blank when I am in the need-plausible-escaoe now.

    3. amylynn*

      I think a 4-5 hour presentation is a bit much even for someone who is neurotypical! This is one when I would get together with your colleagues and plus for more breaks or to break up the session.

      I sometime knit during Zoom presentations but I worry that doing it live might create a Madame Defarge vibe.

      I sometimes take notes during meetings to help me focus. It doesn’t even matter if I ever look at the notes again.

  151. Autistically Imperfect*

    For management specifically:

    If you’re like me and struggle to understand and connect with the people below you like a normal human being (this is why I have no desire to be a manager again, but in my defense I was young, undiagnosed, military, had no leadership training, and very few good examples to follow – so I’ll cut myself some slack) – I might suggest something like a Working Genius assessment if everyone is ok with it. I like it because it’s work-related, not “personality” testing, and it helps you understand how different people will communicate and prioritize things differently based on their strengths and weaknesses. It gives you ideas on how to communicate effectively based on each result type. I know there’s a lot of bias against anything that looks like personality testing at work, but I really thought this one was useful.

    Also, I think explaining to your team how YOU tend to communicate and why, can help them not think poorly of you if your style is different than they’re used to. And giving them advance permission to clarify things with you if they feel like you said something offensive but aren’t sure if you meant it that way (I tend to be too direct and focused on the work tasks and not the human being in front of me, and I miss things…).

    Also, this thread is great, reading about all the things I’ve been doing without fully realizing why! I feel a little less crazy today…thank you all.

  152. NeurodivergentBee*

    For organization, I use Microsoft Finder and a folder system: Project —> Project Subarea —> Tasking Folders (ex. Research, resources, drafts, feedback, in progress, finished, final docs). I use [#] FolderName to order the folders how I want them, or the order my process is in.
    For fidgeting: this is very specific to me, but I wear fake nails (no skin picking) and a one of those rings that is three interlocking rings I can roll back and forth under the table, it’s not obvious and looks professional.
    Work Station: I have a doorbell system, people press a doorbell that’s on my doorframe and it triggers a light system to alert me that they are there (I’m also hard of hearing in addition to being neurodivergent), and a review mirror pointed at the door so I can do quick checks. I’m lucky enough to have a door and my own office, and I’m not shy about shutting the door if I get overwhelmed—it’s a little out of step with company culture but people adapted to it quickly and I haven’t gotten any pushback.
    Work Hours: if my teams says I’m available, I respond almost immediately. If it says I’m out of the office or offline, no one gets a response until that green check comes back on. Again, people adapted to this really quickly.

    I’m also lucky to have an incredibly supportive boss who, as long as he’s happy with my work, gives me an incredible amount of flexibility and grace in making things work for me.

    This may or may not work for you (if it’s not obvious I have really bad OCD) but it’s helped me a ton

  153. Cruella*

    I’m autistic and for a long time I didn’t think I needed to write things down because I always remembered them. But when I started putting tasks, reminders, events, etc into a simple to-do system and making checklists for repetitive tasks, it freed up a lot of cognitive energy that my brain was using to keep all that info in the background.

    Sometimes remembering too much is the issue!

  154. Lab Snep*

    I work in one of my hyperfixation fields, that helps.

    Some days when I am in the main part of the lab and CANNOT concentrate, I put up a do not disturb sign.

    I have had to deal with a few people thinking that I am angry when I am being direct, or that I’m upset when it is just frustration, but most people know how to read me.

    I have an accommodation, I have been told by the people not in a weird little clique that I am easy to get along with and I know my stuff.

    I died in an office environment, couldn’t do it. But having a job with rules and structures helps me. A lot.

    Now if I can get my coworkers to get my attention before they talk to me (I miss everythibg because I cope with the noise by hyperfocusing) that would be grand.

  155. PubIntAtty*

    Lots of others with great advice here on tools and systems. As another ADHD+(who has been a manager and am now working at a professional level I was told I would my neurodivergence would prohibit me from doing as a child) I want to add something on an emotional level: Your neurospicy is why they wanted you. Lots of folks can crunch the number/ make the widgets etc… but your brain lets you spot potential problems, work through systems, and makes you very in tune to the emotional condition of the work place (ADHD vibe check is a super power). When you get overwhelmed at times you are going to doubt yourself. Come back and read this then. You are better suited to this than a neurotypical, so be the rockstar you are.

  156. Invisible for this*

    I can’t WAIT to read all the advice here, but two things from ND Me:

    1. You’re a unique, neurospicy blend different from all others… not all advice is transferable.
    2. Lean into your strengths. Have a plan for known challenges (ie – be protective of sleep.)
    3. Alison’s interview the person with autism at the autism-friendly workplace was fantastic!
    4. ADDitude Magazine has great articles for adults and the work space.

  157. Somewhere in Texas*

    As someone who strongly thinks I have ADHD that I’ve masked my whole life, here we go!

    Note that your mileage may vary, so see what works best for you.
    – Lists, literally all of them. I get a dopamine hit from checking things off. I even have a list for next weeks lists. Ink and Volt has a stunning dashboard pad that works on a weekly basis–which is my vibe.
    – For any sort of menial tasks that are hard to focus on, find something to plan in the background that you’ve already seen. The amount of data entry I did at my remote job with Gilmore Girls rolling in the background is astounding. This occupied *just enough* of my brain that I wouldn’t hop to a new task to quickly.
    – When I WFH I always have on shoes and a bra. This is my signal that it is time to work. Find what your signal is.
    – I note what types of tasks are easier at different times. For example, I save all creative or detail-oriented work for first thing in the morning.

  158. Rosanna*

    If you are comfortable asking for reasonable accommodations, then the Ask Jan network is absolutely brilliant for helping think of what to ask for that would help for your specific circumstances: https://askjan.org/

    You can search the database by condition e.g. ADHD and it will suggest all different kinds of reasonable accommodations that may be helpful for you. Even if you don’t feel comfortable asking your workplace to formally put these in place, you may be able to put some of them in place informally for yourself, especially as you are in a management position.

  159. Lurker_BBG*

    I have been a long-time lurker (10+ years), but I have only commented a couple of times during that time. This is one of those posts that really resonates with me. I greatly appreciate all the helpful tips that apply to neurodivergent and neurotypical populations.

    I haven’t seen this posted yet, but it is imperative if you are on the spectrum to find yourself. I don’t mean to take a personality test or ask for 360 feedback. You have to do this on your own to discover your metacognition. Dr. Temple Grandin can help. She believes the autistic mind falls into four types: photorealistic visual thinking, pattern thinking, verbal facts language translation thinking, and auditory thinking.

    Important side note – these are not the same as Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences.

    Read Dr. Grandin’s “Thinking in Pictures” to hear her first-hand account of Visual Thinking. The movie, Temple Grandin, also tries to show what is happening in her mind visually. I have seen multiple people on the spectrum learn about this and go that is how I think.

    I am going to disagree with Dr. Grandin about there only being four types of Autistic minds. I believe there are far more. For myself, I think in perspectives. I can put an object in my mind and interact with it similar to how people interact with augmented reality. Complete with the telescoping in/out, spin around to see the different angles, and even dissect the multiple layers. But unlike augmented reality, I can do this with concepts and intangible objects, too. Additionally, I can put myself in different shoes and see different perspectives. It is hard to describe entirely.

    I have never found a neurotypical person who thinks this way. So, while I may have multiple shortcomings and challenges, I also have a unique thinking ability. The secret is making the unique value proposition greatly outweigh the shortcomings and challenges.

    This is two cents from a person who is not supposed to be anyone notable. I entered the workforce in construction and was then selected to enter a blue-collar craft. At my location, there were over a thousand other craft workers doing the same job as me. Then, I was selected to join a step-up support position for the craft and other crafts. There were nearly fifty of us at the location in this position. I was then selected to take a higher-level support position and oversee the work of a dozen lower-level support people. There was only one of these positions at my location and ten positions within North America for my employer. I am now being considered for the next level, a global role with only eight positions globally for my employer.

  160. restingbutchface*

    Don’t try to be neurotypical, focus on being the best version of yourself you can be.

    A lot of the advice online focuses on how to mask yourself or tools and tricks to pass as neurotypical, which is unhelpful at best. Finding work that matches your brain is key and to do that you need to understand and appreciate your strengths and challenges *as you are now*, not in some idyllic parallel universe.

    No amount of timers, apps or journals helped me. Knowing & accepting myself was the first step to thriving.

  161. Ladybugger*

    As a fellow maybe-autist, here are some things that work for me in terms of being personable and developing social capital (extremely important in most jobs, not something that most folks who are ND in our specific way are naturally amazing at). Being liked is at least as important as doing a good job.

    Disclaimer: I’m about to describe a lot of masking stuff, and I know there’s a contingent of ND people who are like “I shouldn’t have to mask!” and like, okay but you do, so, I don’t know what to tell you.

    – Workshop and deploy a tone that reads as ‘friendly’ to others. This varies based on your voice’s natural pitch. Watch others and mimic if you can do it credibly. If you can’t, try to find as close as you can get that feels more natural. Do this every time you interact with someone, on purpose, and it becomes a second nature over time and will stop feeling like acting.
    – Build “time to be social” into your day. I find it easiest to make a point to do the “how’s your weekend/any fun plans” dance in the mornings before I hit my desk and again before I leave. Don’t worry so much about talking to *everyone* but make a point to strike up conversation in your kitchen and other communal spaces during the times you pass through.
    – Build “time to be social” into your meetings. This is the best tip I ever got from a fellow ND. This will vary depending on your professional proximity to someone – external clients usually get 10 minutes of yapping for me, 2-3 for internals unless I haven’t seen them in a while when I may go up to 5-10. Space it out for some at the beginning and the end.
    – If you have to take notes on people’s kids/spouse’s names, their hobbies, whatever, to keep up, do it. You can never let anyone see this, haha, but really good salespeople do it! People love when you can circle back.
    – Call back to the last time you saw someone (briefly) when you next see them in a communal space or meeting. “Oh Virgil, how’d the garden turn out last weekend?” etc. See above. Limit this to once per day if you see them frequently.
    – I find framing my speech as questions makes people perceive me better, and being thoughtful about my language. Especially when you think someone is doing something wrong, approach it with curiosity. eg. “What was your thinking in putting this strategy together?” or “Walk me through your process in this project so far.”
    – Generally try not to correct people unless there are real stakes. I give this as a general rule because I think ND people are more likely to over-correct people in a way that becomes annoying and reduces social capital. This rule helps manage that to err on the positive social impact side. E.g. A typo in an internal document is not a national emergency, correct it yourself if it’s a group piece of work or leave it alone. A financial error in a budget that makes a $10,000 difference – yeah, ask whether that’s correct as your understanding was X, Y, and Z.
    – Resist the urge to point out inefficiency in process, unless it’s your job to do so.
    – Pretend to like dogs, if you don’t already. The dogs one is going to get exhausting but it’s all NT people talk about so it’s better if you can feign interest in their dogs.
    – If someone puts a ladybug in your general area, pretend you are fine with having bugs on your desk and don’t loudly proclaim you’re going to kill it. (This one might be specific to me.)

    Love,
    AuADHD

    1. Spooz*

      Phrasing corrections as questions is something that helped a lot with the way people perceive me. I still struggle to judge when something needs attention drawing to it and when I can just let it go so I tend to swing wildly in one direction or the other. But saying, “Could you explain this sentence here to me?” rather than “It’s your, not you’re, idiot!” draws attention to something without saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” which people tend not to like even when you are right and they are wrong.

  162. DJ*

    Do you do some WFH and does that help? WFH could help as you can stim more whilst working, have a set timetable for yourself including when you talk with other staff.
    Does going into the office work better for you? If so, can you work more at the office while your staff keep their current WFH/hybrid arrangements?
    Going into the office could help as you follow a regular routine and separate work from home. If you WFH set a regular routine.
    When do you and don’t you want to interact with staff?

  163. Biology Dropout*

    My browser keeps crashing so I apologize if someone else has said this one already, but on my commute to work, I go over the list of things I need to do during the day so I’m already prioritized and in the work zone. I need to know what’s coming up and pre-gaming it all in my head (and honestly, pregaming likely conversations because I don’t do great on the fly) is incredibly helpful!

  164. Daria grace*

    I’m not formally diagnosed but suspect I’m autistic and definitely have issues around overstimulation. Something that’s been important for me to thrive at work is looking at my week holistically and seeing how things outside work hours are feeding into my workplace coping. For example, I seem to better manage work on days when I go for a walk before work and at lunch time. I’ve also realised that a gathering I’m involved in on a week night is so mentally draining and overstimulating it’s throwing me off for the rest of the work week so I’m considering if I can change how I’m involved. Of course this all doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your personal life to optimise your work life but still might be worth looking at if there is easy tweaks to make it all work better together.

  165. K*

    I keep a ton of reminders for tasks in my Outlook calendar, and take a bunch of notes about projects so I can refer back to them later.
    But honestly what’s helped the most is by pure luck stumbling into a workplace and department that is very accepting, and feeling safe enough to unmask more and be more myself. (There are quite a few other neurodivergent people in the department who have disclosed to me, our director is openly ADHD and I’m privately convinced a majority of the rest of the department is also neurodivergent. I think that’s why I feel comfortable and like I fit in here.)
    I think also asking for help and accommodations can help, but mileage really can vary depending on the workplace. Mine have been really supportive. When I was in a really bad burnout place at the end of 2023, I requested to drop to 4 days as an accommodation, and this has been life changing. I no longer feel constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated and on the verge of a meltdown. I’m doing so much better work now, taking way fewer sick days, and I believe it’s a win for everyone as the company is getting much better value out of me for less money!

  166. JMC*

    I have kind of a crap memory so I have notepad up for quick notes that are always changing, and I use sticky notes on my computer screens for more permanent notes and I also keep copies on google calender through an addon they have where you can replicate sticky notes. I always have some kind of sound going on in the background because I hate it when it’s super quiet. I also have low level lighting and do everything possible to not have sensory stuff in my way.

  167. Spooz*

    Things changed a lot for me at work when I realised that “fit in socially” was an unspoken part of my job description. I had been excelling at the explicit parts of my job description but always eating lunch by myself and never going to celebratory project drinks. It was a revelation to me that “be a good team member” meant more than “complete my tasks on time and on budget”.

    I started to take “fit in socially” as seriously as I took my other tasks. I observed others who seemed to be succeeding at this mystery task and copied what they did. I mentally assigned myself performance targets for non-work interactions with coworkers (e.g. when someone asks how your weekend was, give a brief positive description of a non-work activity and ASK THEM TOO and LISTEN TO THEIR ANSWER) and attendance at optional social events (e.g. don’t eat lunch by yourself more than one day in a row; budget to buy lunch instead of bringing it one day a week).

    It was very tiring. But I do think that “fit in socially” is actually part of all job descriptions, it’s just that for some reason no one actually tells you. Once you realise it is a deliverable like any other, you can start to action it.

    Pro tip: you will not fit in socially if you tell your coworkers this is what you are doing! Save that for spouses and friends.

    1. Spooz*

      Another thing: always dress near the top of the dress code scale. Look at what your peers and immediate boss wear. Who’s the smartest person at your level? Wear what they wear, every day.

      Other commenters have mentioned turning up to Important Office Events underdressed because they didn’t understand that the tone was going to be different because no one told them. If you wear a dress and blazer every day, then if you turn up to an “all suits” meeting then you’ll only be slightly casual for that – compared to if you turn up in jeans and a hoodie.

      —

      And: get good at receiving feedback. Then people will be more likely to tell you when you mess up. Don’t argue with them, even if you don’t agree.

      “Thank you for telling me. I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I’ll have to go away and think about that.”

      Then you can go away and think about it, decide whether you think it’s true/helpful, decide what if anything to do about it, maybe check in with some other people you trust, and maybe come back to the person with follow up questions.

      I always need time to digest stuff. I absolutely cannot think with people staring at me.

      But by receiving feedback like a sane, balanced person (I find I can handle a script I have memorised even if I’m Having A LOT Of Feelings) you will encourage people to talk to you about problems they are having with you.

      —

      Further: its fine to go into a meeting with personal notes. Either a mini-agenda that’s private to you so you remember what you wanted to say, or a little list of SHORT scripts for things that might come up that you need to respond to.

      Just try and print it out in a small enough font that the other people can’t read it upside down! Or hand write it. Or hide it in a notebook and just open the cover when you want to refer to it.

      Maybe you won’t need it, but I find it very helpful in stopping me getting so caught up in planning a dozen conversational moves ahead like some kind of social chess grand master because I know I have the important stuff written down, so I can concentrate on what people are actually saying.

      As a manager, you can also send stuff you want to say by email ahead of time and limit the meeting to questions people have about it.

      For example, I recently had a Big Importsnt Doctors Appointment to make some critical decisions about my care for an acute condition. I emailed the specialist everything I wanted to say beforehand: relevant bits of my medical history, things I was worried about, questions I had, what I thought I wanted to do and why. It was about three pages! But it really reduced my anxiety about the appointment and meant that it was really productive because we could get straight into the details.

      1. Spooz*

        I’ve just remembered some feedback I used to get about emails.

        If someone’s first contact with me was via email, they would think I was very cold, to the point where they would sometimes dread meeting me. Then they would meet me and realise I was not like that at all! I got this feedback from more than one person, so goodness knows how many people thought it but never told me.

        If someone met me in person first, they found my emails overwhelming but very helpful. They would be LONG but clear with zero waffle and cover every possible question/eventuality/action item in a very readable format. (This was in a culture where people would often send multiple emails in quick succession as they remembered other things they meant to say. I just sent the one with absolutely everything in it.)

        If this is you, I recommend two things:
        1. Write the email as you normally would. Then, go back and “frill it up”. Put in some small talk at the beginning. Rephrase some of your statements as questions or “I was wondering” or “I was thinking”. Sign off with a warm, effusive expression.
        2. Start a document where you copy particularly good phrasing from other people’s emails as a resource for #1. Not the whole email, just the isolated phrase/sentence. Once you have a bank built up, you can skim it quickly, add a few into your email, and be done with it rather than having to come up with it all yourself.

        Also: do not tell people you do this…! It comes across as weird and artificial. But it works.

  168. WanderleyWagon*

    I am recently diagnosed in middle age and have found it very helpful because I can now be (reasonably) direct with colleagues about having ADHD/ASD and my workplace have been generally supportive (more so after diagnosis than before diagnosis; before diagnosis I was on our version of a PIP). Things that are working for me:
    1) breaking tasks down into smaller tasks to keep from getting overwhelmed and keep momentum going (VERY HELPFUL, as others in this thread have said)
    2) I find it much easier to focus in conversations with other people than trying to do tasks on my own. So I have turned all the tasks I can into meetings (i.e., you want me to endorse your application for something or write you a reference? Let’s schedule a meeting so that we can go through the details and then I don’t get stuck on small obstacles in the task. In some cases I am able to actually complete the task in the meeting and send it straight to the person who wants it, which has been working surprisingly well).
    3) I print most everything that I need to read or remember. I focus better on paper documents, I can easily annotate, and the task is concrete and right there in front of me so doesn’t get forgotten.
    4) I have gone as far as hiring an hourly paid PA a few hours a week to help me file, tidy and task track. I’m aware it’s a privileged position to be in, but once I got over the shame of thinking ‘I am an adult, I ought to be able to do this by myself’ it was life-changing.

  169. administratrivia*

    A big part of my ADHD is time blindness – if I’m dialed in on something, I can work on it for hours without noticing, but if it’s something I don’t want to be doing / don’t find engaging, even 10 minutes of focus time feels like an agony.

    When I started in a managerial position, I discovered that “only sometimes in touch with the passage of linear time” and “in charge of their own schedule” don’t tend to play well together. I would wind up spending hours on a task that I found interesting, and then have to scramble to get something else done, even though the second thing was objectively much more important.

    Right now, here’s how I manage this:
    1. Right when I get to work, I block out everything on my schedule that absolutely has to happen at a specific time – meetings, trainings, lunch, etc. (Technically, lunch doesn’t have to happen at a specific time, but I do make myself block off 30 minutes of Not Doing Work)

    2. Next, I figure out what my highest priority tasks are for the day by checking:
    2a: The calendar. Do any of my meetings have things I need to prep / print / review?
    2b: My inbox. I don’t actually respond to any emails at this phase; I’m just checking to see if there are any emails that are going to be A Task to respond to.
    2c: My to-do list(s)

    3. Once I’ve identified my highest priority tasks, I pick one. I know that I’m at my best in the morning, so I usually try to start with whatever is most important, but honestly, whittling it down first – I don’t let myself put more than 5-6 things on the list – means that whatever I pick is going to be worth doing.

    4. Before I start working, I go back to my daily planner and block off how much time I think the task going to take, accepting that I don’t actually know how long fifteen minutes is and that I’ll probably be wildly off.

    5. I set a timer for however long I’ve estimated and I get to work.

    6. When the timer goes off (or if I finish early), I re-evaluate. Do I need more time? New block of time on the schedule; new timer on the phone. Did I wildly overestimate how much time I needed? Update the calendar, pick the next task, repeat from #4. Did I get distracted by something else? Correct the calendar, go back to #4.

    It feels like a lot, but for me, the combination of setting the timer (to know how much time actually passes) and of tracking what I do with my time (to be able to spot patterns and trends) has been really helpful in learning to prioritize tasks and not spend my Good Brain Hours fiddling with unimportant excel stuff. It’s also helping me figure out how much time things actually take, which is something I don’t necessarily know.

    I also absolutely second everybody who said that you need to find a tracking system that works for you, and try not worry if you have to change it up every so often – the novelty is part of what keeps it working! My current system is an elaborate post-it note ecosystem with different zones for different stages of project; in the past, I’ve used Google Calendar, paper calendars, a whiteboard, a running list…

  170. late diagnosed neurospicy*

    Hey, I found out a few years ago that I was autistic (I’m in my mid-30s) and the knowledge has helped me restructure my work in a way that works for me, because I now have an explanation for why I struggle with things that other folks seem to find quite simple.
    Here are some things that have helped:

    – Learning to recognize the signs of autistic burnout and actively practicing self-care when I feel that coming on. If I’m peopled out, overwhelmed with sensory input, or juggling too many things in my head, I let myself take a few minutes’ break in a quiet place to recenter and refocus.

    – Writing things down. If you tell me something vocally, it’s in one neuron and out the other. If it’s written down, or on a checklist, or in email, I am much more likely to complete the task.

    – Digital calendars and reminders. I use my Apple watch all the time to set timers for myself in case I fall into hyperfocus, to create reminders of the Really Cool Idea I’ve come up with so I can address it at a better time, to remind me to do certain things at specific times (like take lunch or pick up my dry cleaning), and so on. My spouse and I share a Google calendar that we use to keep each other apprised of our work schedules and important events.

    – Reframing autistic traits in positive, business-actionable ways. Instead of “I hyperfocus on the details to the exclusion of all else and raise tons of minor issues that others would probably prefer to ignore”, I can say “I have great attention to detail and do well with process auditing and logistical tasks”.

    – Being kind and patient with myself. Everyone has a race to run, and it’s not your fault if you’ve been equipped with a different number of legs than other folks, or no legs, or a jet pack that works brilliantly but only half the time. You are not a mistake, a joke, a problem, or an idiot. You’re wired differently, and as a result you have a different set of strengths and skills than much of the general public (and some of them may be hidden superpowers). Lean into your own strengths and run your own race, and don’t pay any mind to what other folks are doing or where they are on their path.

  171. nerevarine*

    I have PTSD, OCD, and maybe ADHD. One of my biggest challenges is stopping at the end of the day instead of finishing whatever project I’m working on. I don’t track my time as I’m exempt, so if I’m not careful I’ll find myself working 10+ hour days because I can’t tear myself away. I did that for a long time, from when I became exempt until the burnout nearly got me fired. So now I have alarms set on my phone for when to start and stop work. I can’t start before my morning alarm, and I can’t work past my evening alarm unless the entire team is doing overtime.

  172. voluptuousfire*

    I have ADHD, so the best way to organize myself is using my email inbox. I try to have inbox zero, so all emails get moved to my triage folder and I’ll flag them with the appropriate label and flag. This way I know what i have to do just by looking at the emails listed. I also use different colors to priotize–red is urgent/priority, green is soon, and yellow is not right now.

    Once that’s done, they get moved to the appropriate subfolder. I can time block as I need to to get my work done in each folder.

  173. Haley*

    I do not have ADHD but I am autistic, and my partner and our best friends are all 3 AuDHD. Here’s some things that have worked well for us:
    – over ear noise cancelling headphones (Mine were about $60 on Amazon and work GREAT)
    – in ear noise cancelling ear buds (loop and eargasm are two great brands)
    – fidgets (I specifically love sensory strips, spinner rings, and the ono roller)
    – I’ve brought in a lamp or two that I use when I’m in my classroom alone, so it’s a much gentler light than the fluorescents
    – weighted lap mat that looks like a blanket
    – my Brita filter water bottle, so I can fill it literally anywhere and it tastes like nothing
    – consider a formal 504 or accommodation plan so you can have access to the things you need

  174. Jane*

    ADHD here. I have found it much more productive to just give in to my need to take frequent work breaks than to try and power through and appear to be working all the time. When I worked in an office, I would allow myself to get up frequently and get a drink, go to the bathroom, walk around the building, eat a snack in the break room, etc. I felt that as long as I was getting all my work done on time and was available to my team, it was fine.

    I now work 100% remote, and I don’t think I could ever go back to the office. If your job isn’t remote, you could apply for ADA accommodation for it if you think it would help you and it works for your job.

  175. Anna Haugen*

    One of the biggest parts of being neurodivergent is to realize that you are *not normal*. That is, your brain does not function like other peoples’ brains do–even other neurodiverse brains! Things that are easy for most people will be hard for you, and vice versa. Things that are no problem for most people will be huge problems for you, and vice versa. So a lot of this is going to be you figuring out what your own needs are, and how to arrange your work so that your needs are met while also seeing to it that the people you are supervising get their work needs met (which might be completely different from yours) in such a way that all of you can perform your jobs to the best of your abilities.

    Over the course of your life, you have almost certainly internalized the way things “should” be. You “should” be able to do X, Y, and Z–everyone can do them, they’re easy! You “shouldn’t” be bothered by A, B, and C–nobody is bothered by that, don’t be a baby. You “should” be able to do a task the same way everybody else does it.

    To the best of your abilities, forget all of that. If something doesn’t work for you the way it “should,” then don’t try to force yourself to fit. Instead, take a step back and ask if there’s another way you could do it that would work. Instead of googling “work help for people with ADD/ADHD” or whatever, google different possible ways to handle the specific task you’re having problems with. The goal is to tailor your workflow and your environment to the specific challenges that you, in particular, face. And to maximize the strengths that you have.

    Also, one common problem with ADD/ADHD and autism is that your brain doesn’t produce the right neurotransmitters when you complete a task. Therefore, you probably don’t get the same feeling of satisfaction that most people enjoy. You get all the same stress–and probably more stress than other people!–as you work on the task, but you *don’t* get the reward after. Which (among other things) makes it easier to focus on the bad feelings and the stuff that went wrong and all the problems and the stuff that still has to be worked on. The best way I’ve found to combat this is to consciously reward myself and take time to celebrate everything I complete. That helps motivate me, but it ALSO means that when I look back on it later, I’m less likely to focus on the negatives and have a more balanced memory of the thing I did.

  176. Fluff*

    Great question and comments.

    I’ll add to the learning your brain thread. Pay attention and learn your brain likes (What is likes where it likes, flow, hyper focus, your favorite stuff to do, where you see color or hear music, etc) and your brain dislikes (brain squeeze, headache, stressed, struggles, noise, places, etc.). Your brain and body will give your clues and now you are the detective figuring those out. Some of us ND folks have trouble with those signs and signals especially our own bodies. We may completely miss the signal or be yes. no (hungry yes or no vs. levels of hungry) or be at the opposite end to the wrong seams on my socks to a meltdown.

    Clues here may also be how your body reacts – which can be hard to learn. These clues can also help you figure out where and with what you may need accommodations. Watching others may help as well. Observe and consider where someone else may have friction. Sometimes putting on the investigative lens may result in an idea for you.

    Then – look for friction areas. Where does your brain “ache?” Where do you get a jaw clench, a change in your heart rate or a feeling to procrastinate, avoid, escape? That is where you start looking at accommodations.

    I work in informatics (medical) with an interest in human machine interaction or usability. There is also a field called cognitive ergonomics. Figuring out a crutch or a prosthesis for a missing limb has already had so much research and many options. The ideas behind cognitive ergonomics or brain support is relatively new. Those accommodations or support can be very different for folks. In one sense it is similar to cockpit design in the plane. Everything is designed to make it easier to for pilots to do their work. Now, out of the cockpit – all that goes away.

    Last, and this is hard, look where you are strong or skilled. I was a late dx AuDHD and assumed everyone could see the things I see and I was the failure at not getting everything else. Little did I know that I could be good at some stuff more than others and vice versa.

    I had to learn to that is ok for me to “not be good” at everything. This sounds obvious and weirdly arrogant for a completely insecure ND brain. I had to realize that. For example, I am an ‘every where everything all at once’ mind. I can instantly see all the possibilities and options which often take NT months of analysis.

    Now, can I stop explaining or read the feeling of a room OR the mood of a CEO? Nope. If I can annoy the wrong person at the wrong event, I. will. do. it. even as I try my absolute best not to. Then I try to learn, improve and do it again. I find new and creative ways to step in the turd. Therefore, I learned that some things I cannot do well, and I may not be able to learn OR the learning of that skill may take so much effort and energy that I cannot do anything else. This is ok to find out about yourself. And it may take time to accept that and pivot.

    As you learn your accommodations, tools, etc. please give yourself compassion. You have spent YEARS trying to work within NT ways. Like having a NT user manual for your particular brain. As you try different ideas and perspectives, give yourself time to learn to use that new IKEA manual you are creating for your brain. Then you can help guide to your needs.

  177. Goody*

    Not a manager but definitely struggling with ASD/ADHD and a brain that won’t stay on task. Sadly was not diagnosed as a kid (I’m of the “ADD is a boy’s disease” era) and it’s much harder to acquire as an adult, especially after learning masks and coping mechanisms.

    I have a daily tasks list that I keep in Excel so I can easily update (why Excel? I don’t know, it’s just where I went when I created it) as I add or complete projects, appointments, expected deliveries and so on. Because of the way my company and department are structured, I have ALL of my department’s projects on it. And I use the Covey notations to indicate status (dot for in progress, right arrow for delegate to future, left arrow to delegate to another person, etc.). The first thing I do when I get to work is open that file, add any new projects that came in before I did for the day, and print it off to hard copy so I can make notes and mark status as we go. This also enables my manager to grab my list at any time if he wants to see where things stand. One of the last tasks of the day is to update the list with what happened that day – completions, new additions, etc.

    Manager has learned to accept that I need a bit of down time between projects, and will gently ask me what’s on my plate if I’ve been zoned into a phone game or playing with my Crazy Aaron’s Putty (current favorite is Snow Angel) for too long. That’s usually enough to get me out of the executive dysfunction rut and at least looking at what has to happen.

    When I really need to lock in (usually for data crunching), I will turn my desk phone to DND, pull out a big pair of headphones and turn on music. The cans act as a visual to everyone else that I really need to not be interrupted, and even the techs in other departments have learned that signal. Manager is also awesome about redirecting other people when I need that isolation.

    I have to document every.single.phone.call. I don’t know why I don’t have as much of an issue with face-to-face, but if it’s a phone conversation, I absolutely will forget detail if I don’t write it down in the moment. So I have a half dozen spiral notebooks that are my phone logs for the last…. um…. 8 years? And yes, I actually have gone back into years to look for information.

    Also, phone alarms. Lots and lots of alarms.

  178. Paul*

    My wife is autistic with ADHD, she worked a fast-paced startup job first in customer service and then as a manager. It was incredibly difficult and stressful and the experience left her so burnt out that she resolved never to work in an office again. It was the culture that did it. The job was supposed to be about handling customer requests and cranking through tickets. The job was actually about sucking up to the narcissists in lower-tier upper management and making them feel like they’re doing a great job while they issue directives that are completely divorced from reality with no thought of planning or practicalities, plus then interfacing with a team of agents and trying to convert bullshit into a reasonable work plan that can actually be done. Dancing on the fine line between asserting the reality of your team’s needs and of your bosses delusions while protecting the extremely fragile egos of everyone above you is a very neurotypical kind of activity.

    What helped her cope in this role:
    – Make her workspace as safe as possible – she got a corner desk so people wouldn’t walk up behind her
    – Find neurodivergent allies and meet with them regularly to vent
    – Map out what the hell is going on with the people above, why are people behaving irrationally and doing things that are harming the company — note — this was part of a decades-long still-ongoing project to understand narcissism in the context of capitalism and patriarchy. Every little bit helped. Once she began to understand the actual motivation and goals of the people who were pressuring her (rather than what they said their goals were) things became more clear.
    – Talk to neurotypicals and try to make sense of the politics
    – Build a work persona that is friendly and flirty and use that to her advantage to protect herself and her team from bullying and other endemic bullshit
    – Lots of venting to loved ones (this was me) to evacuate the stress
    – Play video games once home from work to clear head
    – Healthy lifestyle habits – good diet, exercise, good sleep etc…. needed because she was going into battle every day.

    Who knows what kind of system you’ll be embedded in at your job but it’s very hard in our experience to find a workplace that doesn’t have narcissists at the top, if not all the way through, and dealing with that was for sure the hardest part of the job by a huge margin.

  179. ElliottRook*

    I’m autistic and frankly, I finally just had to accept that I was never going to be happy or successful in any traditional office no matter how many accommodations were made for me. For starters, there’s the hours–I’m naturally nocturnal and I’ve always been happiest working afternoons or better yet, overnights. 8-5 or even 9-5 was a perpetual misery. I’m also not great with people, or tracking, or being glued to one spot for eight hours straight, especially in an open floor plan where any number of people may be looking at me at any given time. What my current job and most recent previous job have had in common is under a dozen coworkers, graveyard hours, no desk and no deadlines!

  180. Banana Pyjamas*

    I find that the color of paper and ink I use impact my ability to remember. If I’m writing on a yellow legal/steno pad I have to use red ink. I strongly prefer blue ink and white paper.

    I prefer steno pads because the spiral binding means the papers aren’t trying to constantly come out from underneath or making the notepad slide about. I find that incredibly annoying and distracting. I spend entirely too much time straightening. After my work stopped buying steno pads, I started using the tiniest binder clips to keep my note pad pages in place, but this also meant I needed to switch to full size legal pads even though I prefer smaller notes.

    My sibling has been sending and requesting voice memos a lot recently to accommodate their energy levels. I find that playing at 1.5x speed is helpful when I’m struggling with brain fog; it forces me to focus, but it’s not so fast I can’t keep up.

    If you know exactly what you are looking for in an assignment, communicate that.

    Even if you think a process can’t have a template because of x, y, and z, think again and consider whether you’re being too mentally rigid. There’s a strong possibility you would be able to come up with work arounds for x, y, and z. It could be as simple as giving an Excel column a more general name. (Yes, I’m still mad I didn’t realize it was that simple).

    Building on the above, don’t just direct people to look at what you did and do the same, direct them to a template. It ensures the quality of the work product.

    As an alternative to templates, if there’s an SOP, direct them there. (After thought, consider whether SOPs shouldn’t be/have templates.)

    Same rules and tools every time. The only time you used different rules and tools is A) law/administrative code requires you too, B) the rules and tools you have don’t apply, and you need to develop additional tools. (This doesn’t so much apply to your organization, but your tasks.)

    When you run across something new, develop an SOP and/or template for the future.

    Because of the double-empathy problem, there will be some people you just can’t get through to no matter how much you simplify or how you change your approach. NTs are surprisingly mentally rigid themselves, and once they view you a certain way, that’s just how they view you. Your communication styles will just never be a match. You will want someone who can communicate in both of your styles.

    If someone is constantly negatively talking about former employees, it’s a red flag. Two examples from my own work experience: a person distracting from their own performance issues, and a person telling me exactly how they saw me/exactly what they thought of me.

    1. Banana Pyjamas*

      I forgot to share my DX: ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. Probably high-masking autistic (self-assessments indicate this, also family history), possibly internalized PDA, but some level of demand avoidance can be normal with neurodivergence.

  181. Poly Anna*

    I’m just going to plug Productivity Alchemy if nobody’s done that yet: https://productivityalchemy.com/

    They’re temporarily on hiatus but there’s 350+ episodes of productivity advice by often creative and/or neurodivergent peeps. The host, Kevin, is married to author Ursula Vernon/T Kingfisher. It starts out with her and then branches out to other writers (some big genre names), other creatives and then pretty whoever signs up and seems interesting. Some later ones are def selling something, but most are really interesting and not the kind of person who is usually asked for productivity advice.

    Includes chickens, bullet journals, ADHD, sitting ball side effects and trigger warnings as appropriate. (Not paid by them, just like them)

  182. Volunteer Enforcer*

    I have autism, anxiety and depression and am an Administrator on a local government Social Worker team. I use categories and folders for emails, plus drag and drop to keep all tasks in my public admin inbox. I visualise my tasks as a pile of pizza- I make a note of when I last made progress on a task. Calendar entries and moving them if my schedule doesn’t go as planned. Being completely honest in a detailed way with my manager about my strengths and weaknesses, and giving a surface level overview to peers. Plus having my “support corner” colleagues who understand my difficulties best. I know the colleagues bit sounds like alot but it plays out subtly in reality.

  183. radiant*

    I’m autistic (diagnosed last year at 38), and waiting on an ADHD assessment.

    I’ve been at my workplace for five years now, and moved into a new role earlier this year. With my new manager, I was up-front about my diagnosis (I’m lucky to work in a psychologically safe organisation – don’t think I’d have done it at previous workplaces), and was clear about what I’d need from them: weekly check-in meetings (15-20 mins usually, just to go over the past week and the coming week), clear and explicit instructions if they need me to do something (e.g. if they said “It’d be nice if we did X” yes, I agree, but you’re not asking me to do it. “It’d be nice if we did X, please could you take that on?” is a lot clearer and I know what’s expected of me). As part of my role (I work in DEI) I organised some training for line managers on how to best support autistic colleagues, which was received very positively and will make a huge difference across the company.

    Working remotely has been a huge help for me – I found the commute extremely overstimulating, so now I only go in occasionally for things that NEED to be in person, like all hands events or speaking on panels. Knowing it’s no longer a daily requirement is a huge help. I also have a standing desk at home (one of those that has hydraulic legs so I can raise or lower it) for when I have ‘itchy feet’ i.e. can’t sit still.

    I saw a few other people mention taking notes by hand, and that’s something that works really well for me too. My notebook is used kind of like a bullet journal for work, which I find really useful. My to-do lists stay in there, but I will transcribe meeting notes into OneNote (easier to search and easier to share!). If I have to learn a new process then I make extensive notes, because peri-menopause means the brain fog is real, and it’s helpful to have something to refer back to in language I understand.

  184. Holly.*

    I use One Note for my personal notes (including a page of contacts and ‘where to find’ key people/folders/which software I need for which task. Day to Day tasks are fine, it’s the ‘how to upload that report I only use every six months’.
    Excel for tasks (conditional formatting so due dates automatically change colour/number of days to go before deadline automatically calculated)
    I use Outlook alot too – recurring reminders for that monthly report, colourcoded appointments for level of urgency/which project. Including reminders ahead of time, e.g. a week before that monthly report goes out, check in with Fred that his section is nearly complete.
    Notebooks for every meeting in chronological order, so I know who was there and when it happened.
    And remembering other people get distracted and forget stuff, it’s human.

  185. Corporate Goth*

    Human formulas. By which I mean, try to find a litany of phrases from people you respect that you can copy in various situations. Everything from someone asking how you are (e.g., ask them how they are as well, also remember this is social formula and may not be literal – but as a manager, you really do want to know how direct reports are doing), condolences, asking about a project, setting expectations, documenting something in writing, offering praise.

    I’ve found these to be very effective to connect with others – there’s still a barrier of puzzled incomprehension of why formulas work, but it’s apparently an acceptable façade – especially if you tweak them to make them your own. My spouse helps me run through variations and calls it practicing being human. :)

    Also, the more you can turn strengths into things you’re known for at work – say, neurospicy observation levels – that helps, too.

  186. Lemonwhirl*

    If your company has an actually-autistic or actually-neurodivergent Slack channel, join them and look for a mentor. It’s especially helpful if you can find one who is also a manager.

    Would also recommend working with a neurodivergent coach. There are loads of them out there. You might go with a goal of getting off to a good start in your management job or developing strategies for dealing with your job. You might wait until you have an idea of the challenges you are facing, but working with an ND coach can be invaluable. (And yeah, coaching and mentoring are two different things. You might find a mentor who can also coach, but they are separate role and skills that you’d want to be intentionally engaging for different goals/reasons.)

  187. MK*

    A tool that’s been really helpful for my own task management with ADHD is Amazing Marvin. Unlike other task organizers that want you to follow their system, Marvin lets you toggle “strategies” on and off so you can always find a shiny way to look at tasks without losing track of the content underneath.

  188. Bob the Sourdough Starter*

    People who are neurodiverse usually keep it quiet at work, so it can feel like there are no successful NDs around. But we exist, and we can absolutely thrive!

    For me, I need strict organization. I have one process (I find Microsoft Team’s Kanban board to be great) and have recurring reminders to check / update status of projects – and I don’t get to ignore them. I schedule status updates with boss / direct reports so there’s urgency and a deadline.

    I space out if I’m just listening, so I take notes – typing actually lets me look at people and be visibly engaged, versus hand writing notes – which helps me actually hear the words, and gives me something to reference later. If it’s a conversation that doesn’t need notes (rare), I use Thinking Putty or fidget with a pen, to let my brain actually focus.

    I get sensory overwhelmed, especially with noise, and so in problematic environments I use Flare’s Calmer earplugs (they have a hole in the middle so it’s not actually “plugged” but it stops the highest and lowest sounds, and the internal pressure in my ear canal is deeply relaxing for me). They are clear and discreet, nobody notices them, but they help me keep my stuff together. But also… I seek out roles and settings that are less overwhelming, like remote work.

    If you suspect you have autism, it can be helpful to just tell people straight up “due to the way my brain is wired, I can miss hints or body language signals, so please communicate with me with actual words.” It skirts revealing a medical diagnosis (or your guess at one) while still tells them the information they need to know. Otherwise they assume you’re being a jerk, because most neurotypical folks never have to even think about the web of unspoken communication, and so they assume a hint must have been deliberately ignored – but just the act of pointing it out activates their logical brain instead of the mammal brain.

  189. Audacityflamingo2319*

    I have a check list on my phone for everything I need to do after work in order to be prepared for the next day. I don’t have to keep the list in my head or try to remember that Tonight I Need To Do XYZ.
    I also have a physical notebook at work that I carry everywhere with me. If you’ve talked to me about it, the topic is in my notebook along with date and time we chatted.

  190. deezyd*

    I have inattentive type ADHD. Despite being told over the years that I’m lazy, my work ethic isn’t great, etc., I am thriving in a career in my field of choice. I learned that I need to write things down, in multiple places, both by hand and digitally. This has helped me retain information and stay on top of deadlines. It has helped me in communication as well (I work in project management where communication is essential.) I have made spreadsheets for individual projects where I only kept track of whom I communicated with and when and what they responded with. As for “keeping my brain happy”, I have a playlist called “songs that quench my adhd” that I play on a loop. Finally, I learned to be more forgiving towards myself when I have a minor slip up such as forgetting a non-critical deadline; this has helped my mental health significantly.

  191. Nate the (not always) Great*

    Some excellent advice here. As someone who is almost certainly on the ND spectrum, I’ve struggled both personally and professionally for decades. I’ve lost jobs for reasons, past supervisors probably remember me as a nice fellow who just didn’t know how to do the job abandoned ignored their low-key attempts at course correction.

    Finding a framework for staying on task is key. WFH has been a godsend, but it also means that I need to be extra vigilant to stay on track. Getting cleaned up helps, though things like mowing the lawn on lunch break alters this. I’ll second the indoor shoes. I have a pair of Sperry boat shoes that I only wear indoors. Along with showering and wearing legitimate presentable clothes (jeans, corduroys, cargo shorts, collared shirt, etc) as opposed to sweatpants, running shorts, t-shirt is a reminder that I’m at work, and not just lounging around the house.

    While tone is hard to detect over email, it’s also helpful because it means everyone has that same issue. Sauce for the goose. Not being able to read tone of voice or facial expression is no longer a fear.

  192. probably not a robot*

    ADHD but not (I don’t think) autistic, and will be reading this thread for advice later, but some stuff that has helped me a lot:

    – I try to write every task down on a to-do list as soon as I get the task, because it’s possible I will forget it in 5 seconds. I also write down new-to-me procedures step-by-step and save them in a little folder on my computer so when inevitably I get asked to do a specific thing I did 9 months ago and I forgot how to do it, it’s there.
    – I acknowledge receipt of email requests from clients, and including an “I will look into this” or “I will get this done” statement in that response helps me actually get it done more easily because now I’ve made a promise. (It’s also better than leaving the client hanging! I also have social anxiety and used to avoid getting back to a client if I didn’t have any specific news/answers because I worried it would look inefficient, but unsurprisingly people love to know you actually got their email and are acting on it.)
    – My to-do list/system has to be flexible because I get bored with it, and I’m working on acknowledging that to myself rather than sticking with something I’m getting burned out on, but right now I’ve been using a system where I separate every task by urgency and then separate those tasks out into smaller categories by how much time I think they will take. I also have a “done” list where I transfer my to-do list out, which helps me if I forgot I did a task (I can forget I did something in 5 seconds too) and also shows me that I’m making progress even when the to-do list is really long and it would otherwise feel like I’m not making a dent in it.
    – I’m an anxious person so for a while I thought what I really wanted was a boring and predictable job, but now I’m working for a boss who cannot plan for shit and is always having some kind of crisis, and I am thriving when I come in and there’s a weird fire to put out, even though everyone else in this office is like “I don’t know how you do it!” Additionally, working for someone who’s really disorganized means I’m OBLIGED to be organized, and I’m much better at doing things I feel obligated to do. (My boss will likely not be working here in a few months, although I don’t think I’m supposed to know that specifically, but various people have made it clear the company is going to keep me on when he inevitably leaves, so I’m hoping when that happens I can work in a capacity where there are frequent crises but not because the boss sucks.)
    – I’ve made my peace with being perceived as weird. People like me even though I’m weird, and sometimes because I’m weird. For me this is largely just having eccentric and intense interests and knowing a lot of weird facts about a specific hyperfixation, and I’m in a field where that’s relatively common, so I’m not saying no one neurodivergent should mask at all ever, but if you’ve got a lot of baggage around how you are perceived and you’re not working a job that’s all about, like, public image, it may be good to take a few steps back and consider whether anyone actually cares much.
    – Not solely a neurodivergent thing, obviously, but I always have a backscratcher and tissues at my desk because bodily discomforts will completely divert my attention and it’s better to have a way to solve them immediately, and the two most frequent of those for me is itchiness and needing to blow my nose. I think this is kind of the core of the “headphones!” advice — prepare quick and easy ways to block out or solve stimuli that unnecessarily divert your attention if at all possible. It’s just that those stimuli are going to be different for different people.
    – I forget to eat (and adderall suppresses my appetite) so I try to keep to a very strict lunch schedule and now people ask me where I am if I’m not there at my usual time. This is kind of annoying (sometimes I want to eat outside!) but it also doubles as a way to make myself spend some time socializing, which is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. Food is very fraught for a lot of people so this specific solution won’t work for everyone, but mandatory Socialize With People time has been really helpful for me, a person who is introverted and socially anxious and who might not do it on my own.

  193. B*

    There is a resource for many kinds of disabilities and possible accommodations on the website for the Job Access Network (JAN.org). I appreciate this resource because I am autistic and a very literal thinker, so it has helped me find accommodations for myself and also to understand what accommodations others may need and why those accommodations help meet that need.

  194. I Have RBF*

    So, I had a childhood Dx of ADD, and I have suffered both a head injury and a stroke. Add to it a minor? bit of dyslexia, and my cognition is a mess. Add to that a high IQ and it’s a mess. I have always had task initiation issues, and it hurt me in a lot of ways (and still does.)

    While I wouldn’t say I’m a smashing success, I am still employed in my field at an age where most people have been pushed out.

    When I get overwhelmed, or have trouble “starting” stuff, I go to a checklist. I start whacking stuff into little subtasks, and figure if I can just get one small part started, it will help cascade the rest. If I have too much stuff on my plate, it goes onto a checklist and gets priorities marked.

    If I still have initiation issues, I have to dig in to why. Most often it is because I feel I’m missing context or components to do it. I have a very hard time starting open-ended tasks with incomplete scope. Sometimes I have to add an artificial “boundary” just to be able to start work.

    One thing I have discovered about the way my brain works is that I loathe jobs where I do the same dull stuff every day. So I picked a career where troubleshooting and problem solving are a biiig part of my day. I automate all the routine stuff as much as I can, because otherwise my brain just balks. It seems that at least half of the people I know in my occupation have an ADHD Dx from childhood.

    There are other ADHD things that still plague me, but I can work around most of them. Since I don’t have an adult Dx, I am not on any medication. I do drink a significant quantity of coffee.

    My soft skills did not develop automatically. Up until middle age, my middle name could have been “socially awkward”. I cringe at some of the clueless shit I used to say and do. I still mess up sometimes, because my social ability is a bit stunted, and I have to think about things in a way that NT folks don’t. I do have a good imagination, so at least I can “put myself in someone else’s shoes” to try to figure out how to handle things. Also, I will check with others to see if my reactions and perceptions are off base.

    For years I thought I was just lazy and a fuckup. It wasn’t until my mother mentioned, in passing, the childhood ADD diagnosis and the fact that they declined to put me on Ritalin that things started to make sense. My self esteem improved when I realized that many of my problems were due to the childhood head injury and ADD. I started finding more ways to adapt, and continue to do so, even at 63. I have long since stopped expecting to be “normal”, because I never really have been.

    I hope this helps someone else on their journey in life.

  195. Workaholic*

    All my friends with ADHD post memes and I’m ✔️ on every box. I’ve never been tested. But reading through all these comments… more ✔️.

    high performing chaos is where I’m at. Going back top to start reading again.

  196. whoeverblah*

    I’m autistic and a people manager. My experience is that neurodivergent people know what they need in order to succeed, but they’re not always able to use those tools. I’d like to reframe this question as: what can a manager do to support a neurodivergent worker. I ask all of my reports questions about their preferred working styles in order to assess how I can help them to thrive. To the extent that we can navigate their needs with discretion between us, let’s put those in place immediately. For accommodations that are more extensive, I help them to navigate formal HR accommodations. I do not need anyone, neurodivergent or not, to disclose to me WHY they need something. But anything reasonable, let’s make it happen!

  197. Marshmallow*

    It’s hard to know how to answer without knowing what challenges you’re specifically facing, but I’ll join in anyway. I’m Autistic, ADHD, with dyslexia and dyscalculia. I work in R&D in a senior technical role (I have had people report to me in the past).

    1. Embrace the brain dump. If you’re overwhelmed write everything down. It doesn’t need to be pretty and organized. It just needs to be written down. Usually when I do that, I walk away for maybe 30 min and go do something sort of mindless, then come back to the written and give it some organization and attack plan. Then proceed with working.
    2. Ask for what would help you, even if you don’t disclose your disabilities. My boss hates meeting agendas and I need them to function because I struggle know when it’s my turn to talk to what to say especially if a subject change is in order. Our compromise for our 1:1 meetings is that I send him any topics I want to discuss and he helps me by bringing them up in our meetings so I know when it’s my turn. That way I don’t have to worry about it throughout the whole meeting and end up never bringing up my topics. It’s done wonders for the efficacy of our 1:1 meetings.
    3. Fidget toys and standing during meetings and earplugs do help me some.
    4. I color code everything. That is more for the dyslexia and discalculia, but it works well for the way my brain works.
    5. If you lose track of time like I do, I check my calendar in the morning and set phone alarms for “5-min to meeting” so that when I lose track of time my phone will come to the rescue. If I didn’t do this I’d always be late to meetings or miss them altogether. My only caution is that you have to stop what you’re doing and get ready for the meeting… I’ve messed it up by trying to keep working for like 2 min and then losing track of time again and missing the meeting. Haha.

    There’s probably hundreds of other things I do… but without knowing what you need. These are my top ones.

  198. web_avoidance_tactician*

    There is a guy making apps that I adore. His name is Michael something and he made an app called Ochi, which allows me to really control what my machines can do. If I want to watch a movie on Netflix (I use my Mac for this) I switch off everything except Netflix. Now movies take 90 minutes or so instead of the three hours where I stop to google an actor or want to find out what acting style Pacino is using and why…

    Another is called Focused OS. You set it up and it’s an easy menu bar click to dull everything (even desktop). It also has sounds to choose from, e.g. coffee shop or music, and it works offline for the says I use Freedom app to block all web function.

    I have tried so many apps — I’m a bit like Carrie Bradshaw with shoe shopping, if I’m honest, and a lot get binned after a while. The top comment on this post and the convo below made me feel so. much. better. about this part of my AHHD. :)

    I really appreciate this conversation and I have sent it to my ADHD friends!

  199. Introverted Pokemon*

    AuDHD here. The commentariat has posted a lot of great advice, a fair amount of it ADHD focused. Not sure what more I can add, but here goes…

    I don’t know if someone already mentioned this, but “How To ADHD” by Jessica McCabe is a great book; she also runs a Youtube channel with short, grabby videos and helpful advice.

    As far as autistic-person- interacting-with-other-humans advice goes, the following works for me (and I work from home):

    – I do tasks in the same order, the same way, at the same time every day. If someone wants to reach me, I’m easy to predict/find.
    – I use digital and written calendars together. Just the act of writing something down helps me remember it, but having events/appointments/meetings logged in multiple places provides a safety net/extra layer of accountability (for me as well as others on my team).
    -I usually click on text as I read it, and leave comments on documents as I go, in order to stay engaged with digital material; this has the added benefit of making questions/comments accessible to others on my team or clients.
    -I use AI tools such as Sider- ChatGPT Sidebar to “smooth out” my emails (exact prompt); otherwise, my messages tend to be short and blunt. Good for getting messages across; not great for helping others to feel heard and understood.
    – I tend to repeat back instructions and sometimes other peoples’ observations, just to ensure that we are on the same page. This also allows the other person a chance to include anything else they would like for you to know/understand, while making them feel heard.

    More “hacks”:

    – “Lofi Girl” channel on Youtube, along with the ubiquitous noise cancelling headphones.
    – Using color filters on your computer screen to mitigate eyestrain and glare.
    – When multiple tasks or demands appear at once, assigning them a number from 1-5 or 1-10, or (my favorite) Red Light-Green Light- Yellow Light. Green= can wait, Yellow= can wait a little bit, Red= first priority.
    -Handling only one thing at a time. I struggle with transitions; when I have a clear sense of priorities and know what is expected of me, I find it easier to handle tasks one by one, usually in the order of deadline and/or order in which they are received.

    As far as managerial-specific advice goes: I personally find interacting with and managing other people draining. The more you are expected to manage others, the more masking others may expect of you, and the more inherently exhausting the position will be. Unless you are working in a highly supportive environment with other people who understand the daily barrage of sensory and functional challenges that autistic/other neurodivergent people face, be aware that you will need to plan for more downtime/breaks than in the past to recoup your energy.

    To be neurodivergent in this world is to work twice as hard for half the apparent results, especially in environments where most of your coworkers are NT or allistic (not autistic). Also, ADHD and autism, though they often occur together, are not interchangeable. A person who has ADHD may have a really different perspective than somebody who is autistic or AUDHD. Even if you share a workspace with lots of ADHD coworkers, I’ve found that adding autism to the mix can still set you apart in fundamental ways (there is a difference between overlooking/misreading facial cues and seeing a face as a collection of interesting parts with no inherent meaning behind it, which is how I tend to experience faces). This is a long-winded way of saying that you’ll need to choose what works for you and leave the rest.

  200. EL*

    I’m autistic and may have ADHD, and I’m in a sort of junior manager role (I generally manage workstreams rather than projects, so a smaller set of staff/work to keep track of). I’m also often fairly client facing. Here are some things that have worked for me:

    1. Unless I’m specifically taking meeting minutes (which generally only happens now if I’m staffing a leadership meeting) I take all of my notes by hand in a notebook. I used OneNote for a while (and still use it for meeting minutes), and the search function is helpful, but I found it a lot more out of sight/out of mind than a physical notebook, and I’ve found a physical notebook to be way easier to reference. It’s more “real” in my brain.
    2. Communicate/confirm dates, timelines, paths forward in writing. This is good practice anyway, but especially because of my auditory processing issues, etc. it’s a really helpful way to make sure everyone’s on the same page. It’s also good to have as a reference when my brain is having trouble retaining it.
    3. Checklists. So many checklists. You can make checklists for extremely minor things (check x email, reply to y message) if it’s helpful for you. Once you’ve done it, check it off! It’s a good tiny hit of dopamiine.
    4. Tell your staff what they can expect from you and what you need from them. I tend to be extremely pedantic when I’m reviewing things, and the more annoyed I get at the number of issues the more pedantic I get, and so when I get new staff or am working with junior staff for the first time, I try to be clear on what I need from them (e.g., if they just need me to review x section for overall content and not for specific formmating or if y section is incomplete because they had an idea but need my thoughts before continuing, it should be noted in writing in the material they’re sending and flagged in the email/message they send it in) and then what they can expect from me in terms of feedback. This helps cut down on miscommunication, where I think I’m getting something with one level of completeness and am mad that it’s a mess while what they really need from me is for me to take a 20 minute look and tell them whether it’s even in the right direction.
    5. I personally have a really hard time telling what the right level of permissiveness vs structure is for junior staff (I don’t want to be seen as being mean and struggle a lot with judging whether I’m being mean) so having one or two more senior people who you can bounce stuff off of can be incredibly helpful. I would often go to my last manager and run guidance for junior staff by him before providing it, which 1) helped me build that understanding of where the guardrails should be, 2) gave me someone to validate my actions with, and 3) helped him understand what the issues were on the project.
    6. Figure out what accommodations you can set up for yourself without disclosing more than you want to to your staff/leadership. I’m somewhere with a fairly flexible schedule (I have to work a fair number of hours, but I can step away for half an hour if I need to and nobody cares as long as it doesn’t impact my work) and so if at some point I need to for example not talk to another human being for half an hour, I can (usually) just block off my calendar and people will respect it without asking what it’s for.
    7. Be willing to say no even before you’re overloaded. I have a bad habit of thinking “I’m fine, I can do that extra thing” and then once that extra thing shows up I’m not fine but I still have the extra thing to do. Doing something poorly or doing all of your work poorly because you’re overstretched is not actually better than doing your original things well and leaving that extra thing for someone else.
    8. Be cognizant of burnout, and be kind to yourself. You’re not being a better manager if you burn yourself out.

  201. Nina_B*

    I have ADHD and started my first manager role a few years ago… the things I struggled the most with were forgetting about tasks, and constantly getting interrupted by people asking me questions while I was trying to do my tasks (I had to design as well as manage a team and oversee/sign off all work). We used a job management system which I set up so it showed me only things I was tagged in to act as a ‘to do list’ for work signoffs. I then blocked out specific times of day (roughly late morning, after lunch and later in the day) for this, rather than feeling like I had to constantly remain vigilant about checks. For interrupting team members, I had to set boundaries and asked them to collate their questions into blocks rather than coming over every 5 minutes which made me lose focus. I also had an ‘always open’ text file with a structured copy paste format to track jobs for each week for timesheets. At the start of every week I’d copy paste the section that had blank list for each day to fill, so it was repetitive but structured. With emails and calendar, I found that the default 15 mins notification was too long a time to wait (my brain would get distracted and I’d frequently miss the start time) so I made it default 5 minutes. For tracking people’s progress as a manager, I made a spreadsheet so I could easily see what was discussed in each 1:1 and made it easy in one file (rather than many doc files). Setting up my folders and a structure where my tasks will ‘live’, that was easily accessed via links/bookmarks helped in busy periods.

    I think giving yourself a structure is most important, but also something that’s easy to access. No point having lists or files that you can’t remember where they go or have 5 steps and logins to access. And don’t be afraid to state your boundaries with colleagues because they’ll forget your brain’s limits, so you have to teach them (unapologetically!).

  202. 5oclock*

    This question could not have come at a better time!

    AuDHD here and I’m really falling down on my job, hard. I’ve hit a wall of apathy and have let virtually all my work slide and the further behind I am, the harder it gets to push through. My manager is very hands off, which is both a blessing and a curse.

    I will work my way through the suggestions for things I have yet to try or hadn’t considered.

  203. 5oclock*

    This question could not have come at a better time!

    AuDHD here and I’m really falling down on my job, hard. I’ve hit a wall of apathy and have let virtually all my work slide. My manager is very hands off, which is both a blessing and a curse.

    So I’ll work my way through the suggestions for things I have yet to try or hadn’t considered.

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