update: my new employee ran a background check on me and asked me about what he found

by Alison Green on October 24, 2024

Remember the letter-writer whose new employee ran a background check on them and asked them about what he found? Here’s the update.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the blog today to find you had re-released my letter! I felt an update was owed to the commentariat.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciated your advice on this peculiar situation. It was a much-needed grounding and reminder of what “normal” should look like. While I was not able to participate when the post was originally published, I did read every single comment!

Your point about questionable judgement was SPOT on.

“Scott” was indeed a younger employee and deeply convinced of the superiority of his own intellect and gender. He had a 5-, 10-, and 15-year life plan with ambitious goals. Unfortunately, this was coupled with no more sense than God gave a goose. His previous work experience in an unrelated field left him the impression that it was absolutely reasonable to deeply examine the people around him but then “verify” his findings through research.

As part of his 5-year plan, he was applying for many roles within the company in search of advancement, despite not having relevant experience nor demonstrating development in any key skill areas. As mentioned in my letter, I was hired on in a line-level position and then promoted to a management position within a couple of months. In that industry, career advancement is often tied to re-assignment in diverse geographic locations (going where the work is) and arriving at a new location is accompanied by sharing bona fides with the team to build connections. Imagine you’ve worked for 20 years for the same company, but have moved eight times and never worked in the same place/with the same team more than two years in a row. I had spent a great deal of time grabbing opportunities as they arose, living out of suitcases, and working far, far too much. I had garnered some nice accolades in some faintly glamorous locales, but anyone who has done it knows that the luster is surface-level only.

Scott was intensely interested in my career experience and how I progressed in the field. Coupled with his desire for promotion and deeply flawed perceptions around reasonable follow-up, this led to the rather extraordinary situation I wrote in about.

Armed with the knowledge that Scott was about as intuitive as a pile of bricks, I was planning a follow-up conversation the next time we worked together. He beat me to the punch when he asked me AGAIN about the information he had found as soon as I approached his desk. This time with a copy of my booking photo pulled up on his screen. (!!!!) I reacted much more decisively this time, telling him to close the browsing window immediately and pulling him into the office for a one-on-one conversation.

Looking back, I think I used your phrasing almost verbatim around work boundaries and everyone deserving privacy. Scott was mostly confused by this response. In his view, it was perfectly reasonable to look for deeper information about almost anyone. His rationale behind asking me about what he’d found was he “wanted to alert me this information was out there.” I told him it was unacceptable behavior and demonstrated incredibly poor judgement that he’d dig this far into any colleague, much less his manager. Then to bring it up multiple times! The company completed background checks for every employee. If they had proceeded with the hire, one would assume that nothing relevant was in the report! I also let him know this was such an egregious situation, we would be documenting both conversations and issuing a write-up, and this endangered his future with the company.

After distance from the situation, I genuinely believe Scott was an incredibly intelligent person demonstrating that anyone can be an absolute idiot.

Did I document the situation in detail? Absolutely.

Did I discuss this with HR and my boss? Absolutely and she was ready to fire Scott. HR was flabbergasted and incredibly helpful in their handling of the situation. My documentation plan was supported with the agreement that Scott was on his on his final chance.

Did Scott get promoted into another position? Not while I was there.

After this incident, he did demonstrate an earnest desire to improve as a team member and make amends. We parted on decent terms. I actually wound up suggesting he read AAM regularly!

Unfortunately, my industry was one devastated by the pandemic. I wrote the letter in mid-2019. By March of 2020, almost my entire professional network was either unemployed or being overworked as skeleton staff. Driven by necessity, I grabbed a copy of Alison’s book How To Get A Job and, after giving some serious consideration about what I’d like out of my work moving forward, I re-tooled my resume and got to hunting.

I’ve successfully transitioned to a new, very different industry and landed a position with a great company. It offers a much better work-life balance and more reasonable employee culture. While I do sometimes miss my old career, my situation is much improved and I have been quite happy to be settled down.

I have no idea where Scott has landed but I wish him well. I will NOT be googling him.

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{ 108 comments }

{ 108 comments… read them below or add one }

      2. Miss Chanandler Bong*

        “He had a 5-, 10-, and 15-year life plan with ambitious goals. Unfortunately, this was coupled with no more sense than God gave a goose.”
        “Armed with the knowledge that Scott was about as intuitive as a pile of bricks”
        “After distance from the situation, I genuinely believe Scott was an incredibly intelligent person demonstrating that anyone can be an absolute idiot.”

        I’m dying of laughter

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    3. Dry Cleaning Enthusiast*

      Although, part of me now is constructing the scenario where Scott works with the person who answers questions like “Are you married?” with “Sometimes”. Inexorable force meets immovable object, etc.

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      2. Heffalump*

        There’s actually a poignant mid-70s song, “Sometimes,” by The Facts of Life, that begins like this:

        “Hello, baby. Are you married?”

        “Sometimes.”

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      3. Irish Teacher.*

        I’m now imagining:
        Scott: I see you have a conviction for…/live in…/whatever.
        Secretive LW: Maybe.
        Scott: Maybe?
        Secretive LW: Yeah, I might and I might not. Who knows?
        Scott: Um, well, I saw it online.
        Secretive LW: Sometimes that’s true and sometimes it isn’t.

        Actually, responding to Scott is one situation where that tactic might actually be appropriate.

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      1. Juicebox Hero*

        It’d be sweet sweet karma if he’d had to spend a night in the hoosegow over an insurance snafu somewhere in there.

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  2. Mouse named Anon*

    I remember this letter! I also remember being flabbergasted by the fact you spent the night in jail over this and at Scott! I am glad you have moved onto to bigger and better things OP!

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  3. Hlao-roo*

    Thank you for this update! Good for you for talking to Scott, and I hope he’s pulled back on his “research” deep-dives on anyone/everyone around him. I’m glad you landed at a good job in the new industry!

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  4. H.Regalis*

    Thanks for the update!

    If this were D&D, Scott would have a high INT score and abominably low WIS and CHA scores. Good god.

    Reply ↓
  5. Dark Macadamia*

    Pretending he was “just informing” LW while asking “clarifying questions” and finding the PHOTO is wild. Like LW needs to be told the concept of a background check exists, and that somehow requires him to have more details?

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    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      “Hey boss, did you know you got arrested once?” is the conversation I imagine happening, since it sounds like Scott is enough of a doofus to not realize that what he’s saying is completely unnecessary and dopey.

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  6. Bruce*

    You handled it well, and it sounds like he did learn a lesson. Understand why you feel well shut of him though! Scott if you are out there reading AAM don’t comment, just take the L and do better.

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  7. Anne Shirley Blythe*

    A copy of the booking photo on his screen. WTAF.

    I am truly glad you had a decent HR and everything worked out. I did half-expect to see another account of outrageous Scott behavior, though–the proverbial last straw. A “so I located your house on Google Maps; why do you prefer using Route 1 to get to work?” kind of thing. It was soo hard to not skip ahead.

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  8. Berin*

    I may just be a Cynical Sally, but I am still very much of the mindset that Scott’s actions were meant to put himself in a position of power over OP, especially by having the booking photo pulled up on his screen. OP sounds extremely well-suited to management, because my reaction would have been much more unprofessional, and I’m not sure I could have forced myself to continue to manage Scott.

    All that to say: way to be, OP!

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      1. Wilbur*

        I could see it working. Frequently changing teams and working with new people, I could see someone panic and worry about getting their next assignment. Plenty of stories out there about people confessing to crimes they never committed because they were pressured by the police and were worried about missing work, losing their job, etc. I can imagine if it was someone much earlier in their career (OP mentioned a lot of supervisory experience in the original post) panicking. I don’t think I would’ve been so generous with Scott, the whole thing seems so sketchy.

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        1. Expelliarmus*

          Makes sense. I’m reminded of the letter where two of the OP’s employees played a horrible prank on another employee, making her think she was going to prison. There was a comment thread on that post’s update where someone was like “she didn’t work with money; she couldn’t have possibly committed fraud”, and it was pointed out that the burden of proof was not on her side, among other things.

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      2. ferrina*

        Yeah, the high INT, low WIS. He had the intelligence to find the “dirt” but not the wisdom to know what dirt actually looks like.

        I still suspect this is a backfired powerplay. OP says Scott was confused by OP’s explanation about boundaries and privacy- but Scott could have been confused that OP wasn’t reacting the way he had anticipated. When I’ve dealt with Power Player Posers, they are genuinely confused when their oh-so-brilliant-scheme backfires. Scott showed no empathy for how his coworkers or even OP might have felt- he wasn’t mortified or showed any kind of sense of “wow, I may have accidentally made my coworkers deeply uncomfortable.”
        I think it was the real-world repercussions that finally got Scott’s attention. OP was very smart to bring this to HR and the boss. And I’m glad they were properly horrified. Scott changed his ways (that OP could tell), but only after OP told him that the old ways were damaging Scott’s career.

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    4. Hendry*

      I don’t see how it’s a power play…So he had knowledge of an extremely minor traffic mixup. Where’s the leverage and what could he possibly do with this info?

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      1. Mr. Mousebender*

        “Where’s the leverage and what could he possibly do with this info?” WE recognise that there’s nothing to leverage here, but clearly Scott didn’t.

        A power play is still a power play even if it’s carried out incompetently by someone with less grasp on logic than your average mollusk.

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      2. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

        Scott was probably expecting LW to be horrified to be found out, beg him to keep quiet about it, etc. Which would leave LW “owing” him for the “favor”.

        And yes, the mixup was minor, but it did land LW in jail overnight.

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      3. DramaQ*

        I don’t see how it’s a power play…So he had knowledge of an extremely minor traffic mixup. Where’s the leverage and what could he possibly do with this info?

        Most people who try these types of power plays are not very smart.

        I’m guessing he’s watched one too many TV shows where people get ahead by blackmailing over some of the dumbest stuff that in the real world wouldn’t mean squat.

        Given he was fairly young at the time I can see how he formed his perception of the working world. I know working in a lab I have to disabuse so many young people of things they learned watching forensic crime shows. That someone got the idea the way you move ahead in corporate America is to be like Mad Men wouldn’t shock me.

        I hope HR and the LW’s boss put the fear of God into him. I would be skeptical that Scott was smart enough to change as a whole but at least he shut up about the LW.

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        1. Salsa Your Face*

          And yet even in Mad Men, when Pete tried to exert power over Don by revealing what he knew, the bosses smacked him right back down with a perfectly times “Who cares?”

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    5. learnedthehardway*

      I agree with you – Scott thought he could lean on the OP to extort favourable treatment based on his “discovery”. No doubt he thought he’d get juicier assignments, better performance ratings, or something like that.

      Not very bright, but definitely evil.

      Reply ↓
    6. Slow Gin Lizz*

      Yeah. Was it Captain Awkward who recently had a letter where the OP was worried he was going to get blackmailed and how they weren’t ashamed of the blackmail material, they just weren’t public about it and Capt said that the OP actually held the power in the situation, because if they just tell people what’s going on then the blackmailer won’t have anything to use as blackmail material?

      Anyway, it’s entirely possible Scott was hoping to use this knowledge to his own advantage but was too inept to figure out how. (I’m not so cynical to think that; I tend to think he was just clueless, but who knows.)

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      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Update: it WAS Captain Awkward but the letter was pretty awful so I won’t post a link here. Feel free to look for it yourself, though.

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    7. LL*

      I agree completely. While I hope he’s actually changed his attitude about this, I’m not convinced he has. I’m glad he got better to work with though.

      Reply ↓
  9. Successful Birthday Rememberer*

    I love that he was confused when confronted. Those kinds of things keep me humble. If anyone can be so unbelievably wrong in their logic, anyone can.
    Glad he was open to changing his behavior. He reminds of the OP who wanted to borrow the CEO’s assistant despite being told no, but still wanted the assitant to call the CEO on his day off and ask if she could work for OP.

    I aspire to the level of confidence that these men have. Heck, I aspire to the level of confidence of a common housecat.

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    1. Pyanfar*

      A tweet by writer Sarah Hagi, who said she started with a daily prayer, “God, give me the confidence of a mediocre white dude”.

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      1. Colorado*

        Wait, I have a goose named Moose who is a very intelligent guardian animal an will alert the rest of the farm animals by squawking when a predator is near. Moose is definitely smarter than Scott ;-)

        Reply ↓
        1. Consonance*

          That’s well and good when a moose dreams of moose juice.
          And nothing goes wrong when a goose dreams of goose juice.
          But it isn’t too good when a moose and a goose
          Start dreaming they’re drinking the other one’s juice.

          Reply ↓
          1. Salsa Your Face*

            There’s a line in a Sandra Boynton book that goes “a goose and a moose together have juice…but not the hippopotamus” that is now and forever stuck in my head!

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    2. Ostrich Herder*

      I came to the comments specifically to say how much I loved this phrase. Thanks so much for the update, OP, it was a treat to read!

      Reply ↓
    4. Jojo*

      Based on the well earned reputation of Geese, I would suggest not insulting them by comparing them to duller knives in the drawer.

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    6. Nathan*

      I as well. This is an amazing phrase and I think it is indicative of the good humor and aplomb which with this poster has navigated this odd situation.

      Reply ↓
  11. Homeburger*

    Great update! My actual job is to do deep-dive research on current and potential clients and every once and a while I’ll come across a colleague’s name (employees in one area of our business might be customers in another) and I just mark them as finished without looking them up! I don’t even think we have a policy about that, its just common sense! And I do find potentially embarrassing info on a client – just saw one who got arrested for shoplifting when they were 19, charges were dropped – and I will only include it in my report if it is clearly relevant to our business.

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  12. MCL*

    “No more sense than God gave a goose” is an incredible turn of phrase that I have deep affection for, and elicited a huge chortle out of me. This is a fantastic update. Gosh, I feel like we’ve all met a Scott, who has all the brains in the world but negative zero common sense. I’m so glad you talked to him – even though he was perplexed. Thank you for this very entertaining update and I’m so happy you’re in a better spot.

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  13. I'll have the blue plate special, please.*

    Good to hear it worked out, OP. You might want to block him from your online channels (i.e., LinkedIn), if you haven’t already.

    Reply ↓
  15. Meep*

    Welp. I understand the appeal of light internet stalking, but checking out their Facebook and LinkedIn is as far as it should go. Maaaaybe if they have a public Instagram in their name just to see if they have a dog. Do it once late at night when you cannot sleep and be done. Repeatedly searching for and paying to see your boss’s personal information is way too much and boarders on actual stalking.

    I definitely would’ve let him be fired, tbh.

    Reply ↓
  19. Jen in OR*

    “We parted on decent terms. I actually wound up suggesting he read AAM regularly!”

    If Scott comments on this, I. Will. PLOTZ.

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    2. House On The Rock*

      I wonder if Scott was aware how razor thin the ice was under him and that OP actually advocated for him not being fired. Part of me hopes he does see this and fully recants his earlier views and actions!

      Reply ↓
    3. Old Woman in Purple*

      Just in case Scott took OPs advice and is reading this: I do hope he took the lessons to heart, and is having an amazing life! (Tho, understand him not wanting to comment in public….)

      Reply ↓
  20. Roberta*

    Thank you for this update OP! I am sorry your field got decimated by Covid but am glad you are somewhere that brings you new adventures.

    Scott was just baffling. The idea of bringing this info repeatedly without any reason that was job-related, apparently just because he wanted you to know he has it (“clarification” my ass) is a truly bonkers idea outside of an HBO drama.

    May this be a learning moment for him.

    Reply ↓
    1. wickyj*

      Pete Campbell did almost the same thing on Mad Men, and it didn’t go great for him (and in that case, it was actually background with potential professional implications).

      Reply ↓
    1. 3-Foot Tall Inflatable Rainbow Unicorn*

      Sounds like a place he’d excel, considering that he was already doing extra background checks on company time!

      Reply ↓
    2. Glad I'm Not in the Rat-Race Any More.*

      I was about to suggest the job some museums and charities have, where the fundraising staff do deep-dive research on potential donors looking for dirt that might take accepting their money questionable (how many institutions recently had to take the name “Sackler” off their buildings?) BUT!!!! If Scott’s first instinct was to attempt a power-play move on someone he’d researched, his time in this field would not last beyond the first time he tried to talk to a potential donor about what he’d found.

      Reply ↓
  22. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    Honestly, at our Company, many of our employees have software that runs background information on people as part of their jobs. This would 100% be considered misuse of company systems, and is a terminatable offense. The temptation is there to look into the personal lives of celebrities, professional athletes, politicians, etc. so we have very specific guidelines regarding when and how this software can be used. We have terminated several employees who used it for other than business purposes. It’s people like Scott who make us have these guidelines.

    Reply ↓
    1. Hendry*

      That seems different though than this letter. From what I gather Scott got this information from publicly available sources, not a private company system.

      Still completely wrong but I can see why Scott wasn’t terminated

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    2. Lady Danbury*

      My very first post-college job was at a bank and included a rotation as a teller. While my 21 year old self was curious about family members’ bank account balances (most of my family banked there), even back then I had enough sense to know that looking them up would be a gross invasion of privacy and violation of bank policy. My later stint in internal audit confirmed that this is something that they monitor!

      Reply ↓
  24. JJ*

    The whole Googling people you used to work to see what they’re up to is dangerous. Sometimes you find they’ve completely lived up to the potential you saw and have put together an amazing career and sometimes you find them on the sex offender registry.

    Reply ↓
  26. Seal*

    After distance from the situation, I genuinely believe Scott was an incredibly intelligent person demonstrating that anyone can be an absolute idiot.

    Having spent my entire career in academia, I’ve lost track of the number of well-educated idiots I’ve met.

    That said, as a late-career middle-aged woman I’ve also managed or worked with early-career staff members who were deeply convinced of the superiority of their own intellect and gender. Being surrounded by intelligent if not brilliant colleagues who still had to work their way up and didn’t hesitate to let everyone know it humbled most of them. Seeing one of their “game-changing” ideas fail because they didn’t do their homework humbled others. But a few were so threatened by the idea others did not share their overly-inflated opinion of themselves or that they might actually have to work to get ahead that they tried to sabotage people’s careers. Those were the ones you had to watch out for.

    Reply ↓
  27. Number22*

    I applaud seeing a manager who had the confidence and courage to address this, let alone on the spot! I feel like more and more, I’m seeing managers who don’t want to actually, ya know, manage.

    Reply ↓
  28. juliebulie*

    Thank you for this update! I still don’t understand why Scott thought this was reasonable to do in the first place. Maybe now he won’t do it to other people – or at least he won’t be dumb enough to let them know.

    Reply ↓
    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      This letter reminds me of a friend with an unusual first name who did a lot of internet dating before she met her now-husband. One date she told us about later was with a guy who asked her some very specific questions about her life history – turns out he’d googled just her first name and occupation and found out a whole bunch of stuff about her. And he admitted it! I understand googling people if you’re meeting them for work or an interview or something – it’s good to have some background on them, I guess? – but it’s really weird to do it before a first date! And even if you do it for work, be cool about it, don’t just outright bring up very personal things you find there, keep it to stuff in their LinkedIn profile. Although actually, even for work I suggest only looking at LinkedIn and maybe their website bio and any publications they have written, don’t be digging deep into their personal history, am I right?

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      1. Marcela*

        I could see doing it before a first date with someone you met on the internet or who doesn’t have any other connection to you. Better to Google than to find out you’re dating someone who has a long rap sheet. I think I would keep that info quiet, though.

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      2. Aeryn*

        It’s totally normal to do it before a date – you don’t want to go on a date with a convicted murderer.

        It is a massive rookie error to let your date know you googled them – you both maintain the polite fiction you haven’t looked each other up.

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      3. WellRed*

        I don’t think think it’s weird at all to google someone you are going on a date with and doubly so for women. But with all googling keep it brief.

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    2. KC*

      I think the concept of privacy is non-existent to a lot of people in his age group, because they didn’t really have any growing up thanks to helicopter parenting. I see a lot of Gen Z people getting mad or feeling slighted/suspicious when a member of their friend group doesn’t have Life36o on.

      It’s certainly not all of them, but I do see it a lot.

      Reply ↓
  29. HugeTractsofLand*

    Fantastic update with some great turns of phrase. I’m glad you dealt so resoundingly with Scott and it says a lot or positive things about your character that you continued to work with him even after this BS. Pointing him towards AAM is probably the best thing you could do for him if he’s that crap at soft skills. I hope you keep thriving!

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  30. Happily Retired*

    After reading OP’s comments on the career track in her industry, and the fact that it was badly affected by the pandemic, I put 2 and 2 together and got 17.3 – I’m guessing that she was in hotel/ hospitality.

    As a somewhat unwilling hotel guest on and off since September 27, and seeing both wonderful and horrendous treatment of other evacuated guests, I’m very grateful to OP for trying to civilize Scott, whether it took or not. The last thing a traveler needs is to have to deal with a front-desk or management person with terrible human relation skills.

    Great update!

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  31. fluffy*

    Some of what “Scott” said to justify his actions reminds me very, very much of a stalker I had recently; he was infatuated with me and saw me as super successful and wanted to know everything about me so that he could replicate that success. This included finding my birth name and my home address, for some reason, but did not include understanding my need for privacy.

    Good on you for managing to get Scott on a much better path as far as boundaries are concerned. Or at least, we can only hope.

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  32. oooooooooh*

    Honestly, I work in media and this so reminds me of a colleague. Or several colleagues… Or a dozen……..

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  33. BigLawEx*

    I once worked for a company with the secondary product of databases (B2B). We got free access. I looked up about two people I’d fallen out of touch with, and myself to see what was there. The thought of looking up colleagues…just never crossed my mind.

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  35. Blarg*

    In the early 00s, I learned on the news that my relatively new boss at a small non profit had just pleaded guilty to embezzling from his prior employer, a community college. A coworker who had also seen the report came to my office the next day, closed the door, and asked about it. Together we approached the CEO. He explained that he and the board knew, and had structures in place to ensure he had no access to any money, ongoing counseling, etc. They believed in second chances.

    They could have made it so we didn’t find out on the news, but that’s how you handle it. As far as I know, he had a successful long tenure and eventually retired from that job.

    Cannot imagine confronting him about it directly, and this was actually new info!

    Reply ↓

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