the potluck magician, the apricot thief, and other stories of holidays at work

by Alison Green on November 27, 2024

It’s more holiday stories! Tradition dictates that as we head into the holiday season, we must revisit holiday stories previously shared by readers. Here are some favorites.

1. The magic

I once worked at a small nonprofit with a lot of team spirit — people truly seemed to love staff gatherings, staff outings, etc. We voluntarily did all-staff potlucks to or three times per year, people often brought in treats for each other’s birthdays, etc. Except for a coworker who I will refer to ask Magic Mike. Magic Mike was an enthusiastic participant in all of these gatherings but insisted he didn’t know how to cook or bake at all. Instead of doing the logical thing and just bringing store-bought treats or beverages, on multiple occasions he brought … magic. To the potluck. As in, after everyone had their plates and was enjoying the food and socializing, he would call for everyone’s attention and perform magic tricks as his contribution. So all of us who had taken the time to buy groceries, cook something special, and shlep it into the office had to stop enjoying the party to watch Magic Mike perform.  (2022)

2. The skeletons

I was working from home on Halloween when an email was sent to the whole department about free Halloween goodie bags for everyone in the office . Which was then closely followed by an email explaining that the skeletons were not edible!I spent the rest of the day imagining different ways someone might accidentally eat a plastic skeleton.  (2023)

3. The audit manuals

We were doing one of those stealing swaps and someone picked and opened a large box. Which turned out to contain one of our (very extensive) audit manuals! The person who gave the gift was out sick and none of us could understand the gift at all. A third person nicely stole it and that was the end of that (or so we thought).

The next time the gift giver was in, they innocently asked the final holder of the manual if they had enjoyed the movie theater certificates. Turns out there was about $50 worth of free tickets hidden IN the audit manual which has been returned to the reference shelf with all the OTHER COPIES! There was a grand hunt which finally unearthed the certificates.  (2023)

4. The jazz casserole

I worked with a very sweet older lady who always hyped up her special casserole for potlucks in this same way. She called it ‘Jazz!!’ casserole and always made jazz-hands when she said the name, which she pronounced with a drawn out A sound, like she was in the cast of Chicago doing a musical number. It was basically pasta and cream of mushroom soup, super boring and not jazzy at all. She was so sweet that everyone took a little bit to be mannerly and told her it was good, which meant that she kept on bringing it to every potluck until she retired.  (2022)

5. The bread pudding

I make an awesome bread pudding, if I do say so myself. The reason it’s so awesome is I make it using pound cake. At a long ago job, I took it to the first holiday potluck I attended there. I brought along copies of the recipe because hey, someone always asks for it. The wicked witch of the finance department (I’ve worked with many lovely finance departments — she drove off so many employees in her department, including three finance directors in the five years I worked there, but that’s another story) raised a stink about how it was NOT bread pudding – it had no bread! And there is no such thing as cake pudding, what was I trying to pull? She accused me of trying to invent something and it just shouldn’t be done, especially at a potluck where if you sign up for a dessert, you must bring a traditional potluck dessert, not something made up!

In the days ahead, she filed a complaint with HR as after reading the recipe closely, she discovered I used a boxed pound cake mix and recommended a specific generic brand that, in my opinion, made a fantastic pound cake. The HR director danced around a strong suggestion that in future I not bring a bread pudding made with pound cake – this was a city government and there were unions involved and finance witch spent a great deal of time being counseled but never crossed a line to anything fireable.

So next year, I brought a bread pudding made with chocolate croissants. There was a hissy fit of epic proportions but every crumb of my bread pudding was gone be the end of the potluck.  (2023)

(The recipe is here.)

6. The apricots

My BigLaw firm, pre-2008-recession, threw serious events/parties. At one event for “alums” (i.e., for firm lawyers to schmooze with/try and get business from former firm attorneys now in house), every conference room on our meeting floor was a different theme. I was talking to a friend in the cheese room (which had assorted platters overflowing with cheeses, crackers, nuts, dried fruits, etc.) and saw my friend’s eyes go wide as she hissed, “Be casual, but turn around slowly.” I did, just in time to see a partner who was the head of her practice group and easily making a few million dollars a year tip the ENTIRE PLATTER of dried apricots into her designer bag. It had to have been several pounds worth. She then casually turned and walked out of the room. We speculated about “Tammy” and why the heck she needed so many apricots for years.  (2023)

7. Christmas tantrum

A woman who had worked at our office for more than twenty years pouted and threw tantrums like a child if she didn’t win a door prize at the annual Christmas dinner. Every time someone else’s name was randomly drawn, she would yell, ‘FIX!”’ or ‘CHEAT!’ or something similar. And one year, she just snatched a prize she really wanted from the table and told the person who won the prize, ‘I DESERVE this,’ and walked away with it.  (2014)

8. The engineers

I love the engineering department at my old job for being The Most Engineers.

Their holiday gift exchange is: everyone who wishes to participate brings a $15 gift card. The gift cards are placed in a bowl. Everyone removes one (1) gift card. End of exchange.

Last year they had a festive holiday presentation on environmental compliance policies because ‘everyone’s already in the same room.’ The compliance people put some holly on the first page of the PowerPoint.  (2022)

9. The boat

I was stuck on a boat party once, and there was no escape, they made sure of that. Floating around Sydney Harbor, and it was supposed to end at midnight, just all the people in the world I liked the least, compulsory attendance, and a boss patrolling the ship to make sure no one found anywhere to hide.

I was in total distress (social anxiety), trying not to cry, shaking, and trying to hide in the toilet was no good as it was below the water line and just being there made me violently ill.

At one point a guy had an accident and thought he’d broken his arm, so the boat pulled to the pier to let him off, but they had security guards to make sure no one else left the boat. As the boat pulled away again, with the bosses saying they were going to party on to morning and we had no choice in the matter, I put my shoes in my handbag, put the handbag in my mouth, and dived into the harbor, wearing a long black evening dress. In my mind, everything I bumped into was a shark!

I slopped up the stairs into the Sydney Opera House and tried to get a bit dry in their bathroom, and told concerned strangers I’d “fallen” into the harbor. Taxi home. Blissful escape. I have never attended a single work Christmas party since.  (2013)

10. The purses

One year, my boss’ uncle had a job as a distributor for Coach (the purse company). He and the partner of the law firm decided to use the discount to get myself and our secretary Coach purses for Christmas. In order to find out what we wanted, he asked us what kind of purse we suggested for his girlfriend.

The secretary immediately printed out her favorite purse on the Coach website and gave it to him. I, however, was focused on helping him find the perfect purse for his girlfriend. So I quizzed him incessantly on the size, shape and color of his girlfriend’s current purse. He ‘didn’t know’ and kept asking me, ‘But what do YOU like?’ which I refused to answer because “purses are very personal and every woman has a preference.” Finally, I told him to look at her current purse and get her something similar in size and shape and color.<

He took my advice and bought me the Coach version of my then-current purse. (I loved it!) When he gave it to me, he expressed his (comical) annoyance at me for not playing along, but then thanked me for educating him on how to buy a purse for his girlfriend. (She loved hers too! And she’s now his wife.)  (2022)

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{ 115 comments }

{ 115 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. NotTheSameAaron*

    I actually like Magic Mike’s idea. Better than bringing a poorly cooked dish that gives everyone that eats it food poisoning.

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    1. lyonite*

      But not as good as bringing a perfectly nice store-bought pie. Having to be a captive audience for some guy who thinks he’s the next Penn and/or Teller might be better than food poisoning, but not by much.

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      1. ISharedanOfficewithMagicMike*

        I submitted the Magic Mike story and am so proud it was deemed worth revisiting hahaha! I also have two more tidbits that I can’t recall why I didn’t include them the first time around:
        1. After a few years of working together MM tragically had to retire his top hat and endless scarves because he developed carpal tunnel from too many years of intense sleight-of-hand work. Not a joke!
        2. …Which led to the office potluck where he brought PUNS instead of magic — as in, he came up with a list of food-related puns and read them out to his hungry, captive audience, in lieu of buying a box of Oreos or otherwise contributing something we all could have appreciated.

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        2. The Prettiest Curse*

          The puns sound almost as bad as the magic! I hope he didn’t move on to stripping once people had had enough of the food puns.

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        4. CMBG*

          Did anybody ever give some guidance to this socially inept person, or did they just let him do his thing while they rolled their eyes at each other and then laugh at him later?

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        5. juliebulie*

          You know what, I was on board with the magic show. It’s a little weird, but as a person who hates potlucks for many reasons, I sympathize with anyone who looks for an alternative way to participate.

          But not with puns. That’s taking laziness to a whole new level.

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        7. Dadjokesareforeveryone*

          I mean, I love puns more than most people, and I would consider that an asshat thing to do. It’s not hard to buy a tray of cookies or something else if you can’t cook or bake well.

          Reply ↓
    2. Aggretsuko*

      I think some people do shame you (I say this as a non-cook) for not making a home made meal, so I agree with you that the guy brought what he could :)

      Reply ↓
  2. NoIWontFixYourComputer*

    #9. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? There are bosses making sure nobody is hiding??? And attendance was mandatory?

    Reply ↓
    1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      Diving into the harbor was NOT an extreme reaction to the situation. It was the only sane sensible reaction.

      They were literally being held hostage. I’m sorry armed guards to prevent you from leaving definitely is being held against one’s will. Even in Australia.

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      1. Alan*

        You’d have to be a pretty confident swimmer to pull this off. Carrying your purse in your teeth? In a long dress? Actually sounds pretty risky to me.

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        1. Venus*

          You couldn’t actually dive into the water while biting onto a purse and still have it when you surfaced because the forces on your mouth as you hit the water would be too hard. It would be okay for jumping in feet first (in which case you’d hopefully keep the purse dry). Bigger boats that hold a lot of people also tend to be a bit higher up off the water so it could be a big jump, and therefore painful. It’s also hard to know the depth of water at any point so jumping is always the best option.

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          1. Alan*

            Exactly. What might be underneath the surface of the water? I remember kayaking once a mile from land and bottoming out on something, never figured out what. It was scary. Keeping the purse dry seems hopeless to me for even the smallest jump. Feet-first your dress is going to bunch up around your arms, won’t it? There could be currents. This just seems like such a bad idea to me for so many reasons.

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        2. mymotherwasahamster*

          I‘m a pretty solid swimmer and would love to do this just to see if I could. (And I could.) I’ve definitely joked about doing something like it, but probably wouldn’t have the chutzpah… until reading this story. This lady is my merintrovert inspiration.

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          1. Chirpy*

            Back when I worked at a summer camp, I did swim in my regular clothes a few times (one was an impromptu decision by staff to jump in the pool on the weekend without kids around). Even in regular capris it was very odd, and I used to wear Tshirts with my swimsuit all the time. I don’t doubt someone could swim in an evening gown, but it’s definitely going to be difficult.

            And frankly, I don’t blame her, I’d probably consider it, but given that if I was in the same situation I’d be worried about the currents and probably chicken out. But armed guards!? I might call the cops.

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        3. Annie2*

          Especially at night when other boats definitely won’t be able to see a lone swimmer in the water (and won’t be expecting or watching for swimmers). I have to assume it was a very short distance.

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      2. Nobby Nobbs*

        The detail of the shoes cements this as an extremely rational reaction to an extremely unreasonable situation in my eyes.

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      5. Jellyfish Catcher*

        Well, it was risky, even next to the harbor, although I can understand her desperation.
        The worst part: NOBODY NOTICED THAT A PERSON WENT OVERBOARD, HOLY….

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        1. Silver Robin*

          THANK YOU I was wondering the same thing. Did they assume she managed to slip past security? Was there no follow up? Did somebody notice and then choose to say nothing in support of her daring escape? What was going on??

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    2. Tradd*

      Yeah, that was just wild. I’m impressed her shoes fit in her purse and she was able to hold her purse in her teeth! OMG!

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      1. Cats and Bats Rule*

        I definitely would have done this to get out of there, and would have made my shoes fit in the purse whither they could or not! #9-I hope you got out that job and found a better one quickly!!

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    3. Charlotte Lucas*

      I’m not that strong a swimmer. Luckily, my ankle ligaments are extremely loose. I roll them all the time, and it would not be hard to fake (or even engineer) a sprain or strain that needs Immediate Medical Attention.

      Reply ↓
  3. many bells down*

    I feel like there were other steps to take before *diving into the harbor*. Texting a friend to call with a “family emergency”? Throwing up on the CEO?

    Reply ↓
    3. Sharpie*

      Well,diving into the harbour is a way out that situation plus a good story afterwards. I just hope the dress wasn’t completely ruined by the seawater!

      Reply ↓
  4. UnCivilServant*

    Wouldn’t preventing people from leaving the boat when it is at dock be a criminal offense? Even in Australia?

    Reply ↓
        2. UKDancer*

          Yeah kidnapping and false imprisonment are definitely offences in Australia. The criminal justice system there works generally in the same way as it does in other common law jurisdictions.

          Reply ↓
    3. Charlotte Lucas*

      Why am I imagining Lucy Lawless’s character from My Life is Murder as the narrator of this story? (I know it’s in NZ now, but it started out in Australia.)

      Reply ↓
        1. Llellayena*

          Yes, but she wouldn’t end up IN the harbor. She’d stand on the rail, do a double flip (with iconic yelling) and land feet first on the dock.

          Reply ↓
  5. Pastor Petty Labelle*

    #5 the bread pudding, HR should not have even enterained the complaint. Like looked at Finance Witch and said, yeah that is not an HR matter, go away. But if they felt they had to appease her, they could have said, we will speak to her. Then told you, great pudding, please do this again. Which would technically be speaking to OP about the issue.

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    1. Can’t think of anything clever*

      When I handled employee investigations I often responded to complaints like this with a generic “I’ll take care of it” sort of response. More than once that involved going home and telling my cats about it. I’m not lying, I did take care of it.

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    2. Panicked*

      As an HR person, I can confidently say that we 100% do not have time to talk to people about their potluck contributions, unless it is 1. a safety issue or 2. we want the recipe.

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    3. Venus*

      I love the solution. “If you told me that I can’t make it with cake and I don’t want to make it with bread, then let’s find another option”. I would have ignored HR and made it with cake again, so I love that creativity!

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      3. Higher-ed Jessica*

        So awesome. I wanted this story to just go on, with a different NON-bread each year and an annual conniption, till it’s like Year 9 and she’s trying to decide whether to make it with cornbread or baklava this year.

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        2. Nanc (yes, that was my bread pudding story!)*

          I’m making it for Thanksgiving this year trying out a lemon cake, ginger instead of cinnamon and chopped up crystalized ginger instead of dried fruit. It’s baking right now and smells fantastic!

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    1. MommaCat*

      It was a comment to a post about how to throw a party employees would actually like, in response to the advice to not throw a holiday party on a boat.

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      1. The Prettiest Curse*

        I just don’t understand why anyone would ever plan a party on a boat! As an event planner, the whole idea just baffles me, because there’s SO much more that can go wrong than an event on dry land.

        It seems like a lot of the worst office party failures we’ve read about on this site happened on boats. Maybe the party boat companies just lure in novice planners with steep discounts.

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        1. UKDancer*

          Yeah. That said I’ve been to a couple of tango events on a permanently moored boat on the Thames. The difference being that it doesn’t go anywhere and you can leave when you want. So it’s not like being held captive.

          I mean I wouldn’t choose it for a work event but it’s quite fun for dancing and has quite a nice floor and plenty of space.

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        2. L*

          I’ve been to a work party on a boat that didn’t go too badly, provided your definition of “not too badly” includes one of the higher ups finding a piano(!) and regaling us all with Mustang Sally and Piano Man. Maybe the key is a set time limit and not too many drinks.

          (I also got married on a boat, at least in part so I could kick everyone out once it got back to shore lol.)

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        3. Ms. Norbury*

          My sister went to an office party on a boat that, according to her, was a smashing success. But it was a small company (so something like 10-12 people total), participation was totally optional and the owner really knew the staff and how hard they liked to party (i.e. HARD). I’m sure it would have been a nightmare for many people, but she said everyone clearly had a great time.

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  7. ScottW*

    Re #1, used to work with a woman who was in her church choir and was *very* proud of her voice. To me it seemed fine but not exceptional. Anyway, at her goodbye lunch she insisted on saying thank you to all of her attending coworkers by singing to us. Loudly. In a restaurant. Surrounded by other people. It was so painful.

    Reply ↓
  9. Tradd*

    2018 – The people in the air freight department of the freight forwarder I worked for at the time were invited to a big airline’s Christmas party (these used to be Very Big Things). Tickets were often given as prizes so going to the parties was a desired invite. One female coworker, whose social life seemed to entirely consist of adult birthday parties, couldn’t make the airline party. She was very sad. She was also an entitled witch and the golden girl of the department. Couldn’t do wrong in the toxic manager’s eyes. Anyway, one male coworker WON THE AIRLINE TICKETS. They were good for two people to the US, including Alaska and Hawaii. Entitled witch told coworker he won HER tickets and he needed to give them to her. He didn’t, of course. I asked entitled witch why she thought she was entitled to his tickets. She said she deserved them.

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  10. Stella70*

    I hope it’s okay to post the recipe ‘Nanc’ was referring to, since it might save people scrolling time on this, Thanksgiving Eve (in the U.S.) — a/k/a “Is It Okay To Wear Maternity Pants To The Thanksgiving Dinner, If I’m Not Pregnant, Just Anticipating Eating A LOT?” Day.

    BREAD PUDDING RECIPE by Nanc
    Well finding this recipe was a whole lot of fun–turns out my sister had the cookbook it came from.
    From The Settlement Cook Book, 1976 edition.
    Bread Pudding
    2 eggs
    2 cups milk
    1/2 cup sugar
    nutmeg or cinnamon
    [no amounts given, I wing it, sometimes it’s a teaspoon, sometimes it’s a half teaspoon of each, sometimes I just grate or shake the container until it seems like it’s enough]
    4 cups dried bread or cake
    [I was gobsmacked when my sister read this–I was right all along, finance witch! FYI I made the pound cake from the generic brand mix carried by Lucky Supermarkets in California. I’m sure any pound cake mix would do, look for one that uses sugar and not corn syrup]
    1/4 cup raisins
    [I use dried cherries or cranberries as raisins are the Devil’s pet bunny’s turds]
    Almonds
    [doesn’t specify amount or type. I usually use toasted pecans or walnuts]
    Beat the eggs, add milk, sugar, and gratings of nutmeg or cinnamon if desired; pour liquid over the bread [cake] in a pudding dish. [I use my mom’s old Pyrex 2 quart covered round baking dish], let stand until thoroughly soaked. Add raisins and almonds, if desired. Bake 20 minutes or until firm in a moderate oven, 350 F [it doesn’t say to preheat the oven but I always do]. Serve with milk, jelly or any pudding sauce.
    Random notes: I usually make the pound cake a few days ahead. Once it’s completely cool I cut it into cubes, spread it on a cookie sheet and set it in the oven to dry out–no heat in the oven, just the easiest place so they don’t clutter up the counter. When I made it with chocolate croissants it was before they were a thing, I just happened to live around the corner of a little bakery that made a dozen or so each day. They were kind enough to bake me a batch and then cubed them and let dry out in their kitchen before I picked them up.
    The recipe does not mention greasing or spraying the pudding/baking dish.
    The Settlement Cook Book was a gift from my sister when I first moved out on my own. I could cook but it’s a great book because it has measurement conversions, substitution suggestions, great charts and explanations of cuts of meat, tips on how to pick out produce, explanations of cheese (including what melts easiest) and all sorts of other cooking and entertaining tips. The recipes in my edition are definitely a bit dated but I still use the book and have adapted over the years.

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    1. Ellis Bell*

      Someone in the original comments said you can make this with Panettone! I am totally going to do this because it solves the problem of what to do with gluten free Panettone. I always buy it, thinking this is the year it’s going to taste good, but it’s never quite right. Although, just like bad gf bread always makes great toast, bad gf Panettone makes excellent French toast. I’m sure the recipe that shook HR to it’s very core can only help me out with this problem.

      Reply ↓
        1. Bella Ridley*

          Personally, if it were me making it with banana bread, I’d let the bread get really good and dry first in the fridge, I’d omit the dried raisins or fruit bits and potentially substitute in walnuts, as well as bump up the warming spices a little bit as well. Possibly with a glug of bourbon in there as well. I bet it would be delicious.

          Reply ↓
          1. Stella70*

            I agree with your off-the-cuff recipe. Sounds delicious. My stand-by is rehydrated Craisins. I would add those, plus chopped pecans. And a glug of tequila. (In a separate glass – I’m not a neanderthal!

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      3. Ms. Norbury*

        I haven’t used panettone, but I’ve made a bread-pudding-ish recipe with chocottone, which is basically panettone but with chocolate chips instead of candied fruit. It’s only a thing in my part of the world (and I’m sure it would make most italians have conniptions) but OMG it works beautifully.

        Reply ↓
      1. Nanc (yes, that was my bread pudding story!)*

        In defense of evil finance lady not hearing of fancy bread pudding: this all went down in 1985.

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    1. Jane*

      Same! My cousin has a legendary bread pudding that he makes with chocolate croissants for our family’s big Christmas Eve lunch every year; he usually makes three pans and there are never leftovers.

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    4. Bred likker*

      Stuffing is actually a savory variety of bread pudding. I made one for Christmas one year with half francese bread, half seeded sourdough, chicken mango sausage, pomegranate avrils and arugula. Bougie af, but extremely festive and beyond delicious!

      Reply ↓
  12. Nah*

    Maybe it’s all the cooking baking my brain but I’ve read #8 like six times now and I’m coming up blank on what the joke is? I’m so sorry OP, van someone please explain? TToTT

    Reply ↓
    1. UnCivilServant*

      From a personality aspect, engineers tend to be a very direct and solution-oriented lot. So rather than going through the trouble to get something the other people don’t like, the fix of bypassing that part of the process would be appealing. And the fact that it is also a farce would itself amuse the engineering set.

      /one of them.

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      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        I still vaguely remember a raunchy joke a mathematician told me where the mathematician and the physicist give up, but the engineer wins, because he gets, “Close enough for all practical purposes.”

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      2. Nah*

        I understood (and appreciated, I’m the same way I suppose) that part, it was the second paragraph that was tripping me up. LynnP cleared it up for me though, thank you both!

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        1. mymotherwasahamster*

          I love the logic of everyone all being there anyway. These are all lovely but the engineers made me laugh out loud!

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  13. Liz the Snackbrarian*

    I have to guess the woman in number six was pretty backed up. Dried apricots are known for having fiber, I would probably eat some if I were constipated.

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    1. This Old House*

      Given my current circumstances, my mind went to dietary restrictions. She’d done a circuit, realized there was nothing else at the entire party she could eat, and rather than camping out near the apricots all night, decided to take the apricots with her so she could snack while she mingled.

      I wouldn’t do it, but I’d be tempted. I don’t know what to do my hands at events where everyone is eating and drinking and I can’t partake!

      Reply ↓
  14. Phony Genius*

    #3 sounds like a devilish twist to put on a Dirty Santa game – hide a nice gift inside something that people would likely want to trade away. (Sort of like they sometimes do on Let’s Make a Deal.) Except it helps if the person who provided the gift is not out sick so that the secret can be revealed at the end of the game.

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    1. Charlotte Lucas*

      Or just like my mother who used to wrap gift cards, etc., in an old book, so it wasn’t as obvious what it was.

      Then tell you that the book wasn’t the gift and she expected it back.

      She also wrapped batteries for toys that required them and made us open those first. Delayed gratification was her jam.

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        2. A Library Person*

          It was always fun when you opened the batteries first and then had that wonderful moment of anticipation when you realized you were also getting something they would power up.

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      2. Sharpie*

        Sounds like my mum, who wrapped batteries that were unwrapped first and eventually gave the main gift. Or gave my brother a game for a console he didn’t have .. and then gave the gift that was the console.

        I got my own back a couple of years before she died – we’ve gone to doing a Secret Santa for family presents (everyone gets one person to buy for with a £30 limit). I bought her a whole bunch of different silk scarves off eBay and layered them all in a plain brown cardboard box, each one separated by tissue paper. I will forever treasure the memory of her face as she pulled out scarf after scarf, like a magician pulling scarves out of his sleeve.

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  15. LoV...*

    9. The Boat: “but they had security guards to make sure no one else left the boat.”

    WHAT? I mean, that’s practically just kidnapping people at that point.

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  16. Aggretsuko*

    I want to know what happened with #9 when the boss who was patrolling and imprisoning people noticed that she was gone. Was she in trouble the next day? Did he notice she was gone? Or care?

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  18. Mags*

    No. 6 made me giggle because I once went to a conference where I saw the Development Officer from a fairly prominent local charity tip a platter of chipolatas and one of chicken nuggets into what I can only hope was a rip-off Birkin. It was pre-meditated too, she had left the panel before lunch early specifically to get to the buffet before anyone else.

    I used to have to go to meetings with her about projects we were partners on and every time I remembered the greasy chipolatas splattering into the bag.

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  19. Literally a Cat*

    I found the detail of Sydney Harbour particularly hilarious. Seems like people just fall into it all the time, now I wonder how many were truly kidnapped by their party party party.

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    1. So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out*

      I don’t think I’d read the Sydney Harbor story before. Literally laughed out loud

      Reply ↓
  21. Radar’s Glasses*

    Related to #7. Our law firm’s holiday “party” segregated lawyers and spouses from support staff and their plus ones(even if the plus one was a superior court judge in their own right). There was a raffle for prizes and, wouldn’t you know, all the valuable prizes like wine were won by the lawyers’ spouses. It never occurred to these “winners” that they could have put the prizes back into the pot for the support staff to try and win. Thoughtfulness was not an element of these people. We were just peons to them. Glad I retired a year later.

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    1. Sharpie*

      The last work Christmas party I went to was the Christmas before moving away. They gave everyone a Christmas card with a raffle ticket in that corresponded to a prize. Everyone got something… I ended up with one of the top prizes, a very nice gift bag of food including a bottle of wine and some fancy chocolate and stuff. And that was on top of the hamper that everyone got.

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  22. Ex-Prof*

    #9 I don’t know about Australia, but am pretty sure this would constitute kidnapping in some if not all U.S. states.

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  23. Claire*

    re #9: harbour cruises in Sydney always stay in the inner harbour, you would never be much more than a couple of Olympic pool lengths from land

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  25. Perihelion*

    9 sounds like the premise of a great horror-comedy starring Samara Weaving where she tries desperately to escape a work party.

    Reply ↓

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