weekend open thread – November 16-17, 2024

by Alison Green on November 15, 2024

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand.

Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

Book recommendation of the week: Blood Test, by Charles Baxter. A mild-mannered father is thrown after a blood test predicts he will turn to a life of crime.

* I make a commission if you use that Amazon link.

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{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    The weekend posts are for relatively light discussion — think office break room — and comments should ask questions and/or seek to discuss ideas. “Here’s what happened to me today” personal-blog-style posts will be removed (because they got out of control in the past). We also can’t do medical advice here.

    These threads are no politics.

    Please give the full rules a re-read.

    Reply ↓
    1. Dark Macadamia*

      Be a Revolution – I love Ijeoma Oluo’s writing and this one has been on my list for awhile.

      God of the Woods – I’m not huge on mysteries but it’s a book club pick and I’m enjoying it so far.

      Reply ↓
    2. Sloanicota*

      “Margo’s Got Money Problems,” which I believe was a recc from here, finally came up in my library holds cue. I really like the author’s observations so far.

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    3. Flower*

      Just finished Creation Lake (shortlisted for the Booker Prize, didn’t win it). People either think it’s brilliant or they think it’s weird and boring and it makes them feel stupid. I am in the latter camp. I have read lots of analyses and reviews of it and I still don’t see why people think it’s so great. (Please feel free to enlighten me, anyone! I would appreciate it.) I feel really dumb. The London Review of Books review made me feel a little better (the critic at one point said that while he was reading the book he thought, “why are you even writing this?”), but the naysayers are definitely in the minority.

      Reply ↓
      1. Flower*

        p.s. The only reason I even finished reading it at all is that it’s for my book group. Otherwise I would have abandoned it, and I never do that.

        Reply ↓
    4. Jackalope*

      I just finished a book called Wild Girls by Tiya Mills. It’s a nonfiction book about girls and women in US history who were outdoorsy, and whose love of the outdoors helped them become stronger to fight against the bad parts of our society. There was a special emphasis on Black and Indigenous girls, which I enjoyed. Some of the book was rough, since it went into some of the most awful bits of our history (slavery and genocide against Indigenous peoples, as well as the Indian boarding schools). But it was overall hopeful, and I enjoyed reading about things like how the Indigenous children resisted their kidnappers at the boarding schools, or how Harriet Tubman’s extraordinary success at smuggling people to freedom (none of her groups were ever captured) was due in part to her fieldwork and forestry such that she knew how to move and keep people safe and fed. It’s a short gem of a book and I highly recommend if you’re at all interested.

      Reply ↓
    5. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      Finished the Joan Didion novel *The Last Thing He Wanted* — another geo-political thriller like *Democracy* and *The Book of Common Prayer*. I feel like she’s a little like Graham Greene. I really liked the book, but I still think my favorite of hers is still *Play It As It Lays* (which is not a geo-political thriller at all).

      Started on a comfort re-read of E. F. Benson’s *Queen Lucia*, where nothing heavier than small-village social politics is going on. It’s bound with Benson’s *Miss Mapp*, so that’s next on the list, and then I’m going for a comfort re-read of what I think is Agatha Christie’s first Tommy and Tuppence novel, *The Secret Adversary*.

      Reply ↓
    6. Charlotte Lucas*

      Finished “Witches Abroad” and “The Last Dragonslayer.” Halfway through “Enter a Murderer” and about to start “The Song of the Quarkbeast.”

      Reply ↓
    7. Falling Diphthong*

      Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann. A shepherd is murdered and his flock decide to solve the mystery of his death. Told from the point of view of the sheep. Fun and engaging.

      Sheep are exceptional at acting casual.

      Reply ↓
    1. Snell*

      Been a tough week in the big picture, but I finally replaced my car that got totalled a few weeks ago (in a fairly terrifying collision) + completed associated paperwork for it. Growing the good out of the bad.

      Reply ↓
      1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

        Glad it sounds like you are okay and getting some nice transit as a replacement!

        Reply ↓
    2. Six Feldspar*

      It was my birthday on Monday! I had a nice chill day working from home, then pilates after. I’m doing other things on the weekends before and after so it was nice to have the day itself be pretty low key.

      Reply ↓
    7. RLC*

      Cold weather = more cat snuggles! Yes, they are little opportunists who are probably more interested in human body heat output than in actual affection, but we enjoy the attention.

      Reply ↓
    8. Falling Diphthong*

      I decided life was too short to eat more than one of the crappy mini eclairs I bought.

      (Sounds weird, but I had one at tea and was doing the “I could force these down if I were a guest at someone’s home, so we could have them for dessert tonight and tomorrow…” and then stopped and asked myself WHY.)

      Reply ↓
    9. Linnaea*

      When our server at the restaurant we go to every week told us we were the staff’s favorite customers. We’ve been going there since it opened about 20 years ago.

      Reply ↓
  4. Literally a Cat*

    I would love to have some good thoughts please, thank you. At the vet waiting for the results of my geriatric kitty.

    Reply ↓
    7. Falling Diphthong*

      From my “visualize your body healing” tape: Picture a pet from whom you have felt love, and let that feeling surround you.

      Reply ↓
  5. RLC*

    Alison’s cat crew looks ready to take on winter’s chill! What a comfy bunch.
    Do I see a heating pad under the group?

    Reply ↓
  6. Charlotte Lucas*

    Topic: Chemistry between actors in their roles. Sometimes I am so impressed by how much I believe actors are in love/lust or even true friends. Some of my favorites:

    Shawn and Gus as BFFs in Psych

    The British show The Musketeers – I believe they’re all each other’s ride or die, and the romantic chemistry between Aramis and the Queen is off the charts

    Bashir and Garak in ST: DS9 (I totally believed Worf and Jadzia, too)

    Henry Higgins and Ruth Newsome (of the Mimico Newsomes) in Murdoch Mysteries have the kind of wacko chemistry that is a joy to behold

    Nick and Nora in the Thin Man series

    Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in their movies

    Reply ↓
      1. Dark Macadamia*

        Basically all of the Good Place! Phenomenal chemistry between the main four plus Michael and Janet in various permutations.

        Reply ↓
  7. LemonDrops*

    I moved several years ago and have yet to make any friends in the new area.
    My daily commute is very long and exhausting, so I find my weekend time is when I do errands and chores. It’s not much of a life. I want to make some friends here, but I’m stuck as to how.

    I’m an atheist. I looked into taking courses for adults, but they seem to all be offered during the day- must be for retirees. I have also joined meetup but find myself just too tired to drive into the city.

    does anyone have any suggestions I haven’t tried yet?

    Reply ↓
    1. Jenesis*

      Do you have neighbors? (It sounds like you moved from a city into either a rural area or a small town?) If you use social media, have you tried looking up your area on Nextdoor to see if there are any weekend events happening in your area?

      Does your area have a park, community/rec center, (bar/pub, if you’re ok with drinking culture,) or other place where people go to meet people?

      Reply ↓
    2. Charlotte Lucas*

      Do you have any hobbies that there might be a local group for? Or local groups to volunteer with? Farmers Markets often need volunteers, and it’s usually just a commitment to on or two mornings a month.

      Depending on the size of your community, maybe look into helping out at other local events. It’s a great way to meet people and learn more about where you live.

      If there’s a Unitarian church in your area, they welcome atheists and agnostics. Not sure if this is still the case, but the pastor of ours was an atheist.

      Reply ↓
      1. Unkempt Flatware*

        I agree to look for volunteering opportunities. If you have the emotional capacity, see about a companionship program at a hospice. Being someone’s best friend at the end of their life sounds rewarding.

        Reply ↓
      2. Jenesis*

        If I may ask, what does one preach about at a UU worship service, if not about God and Jesus and prayer? (Speaking as another atheist, who generally feels very uncomfortable in churches.)

        Reply ↓
    3. Curlywhenwet*

      Buy and use season tickets to a local team. You will see the same people around you every game and will have a built in conversation topic.

      Join a quilting/knitting/gardening club that you can stop at on the way home from work.

      Reply ↓
  8. Weekend Warrior*

    Territory-marking outside of work?
    The recent call for examples of territory-marking at work had a lot of great responses and made me think about how that looks outside of work. It’s hard to actually mark territory in most public places but I certainly have some strong preferences that are hard to shake. I’d mark if I could!
    For example:
    At the rec centre pool I have a favourite locker (top corner) and a favourite shower nozzle (harder stream than the others). When I bag these I feel like I’ve won a little lottery. Not getting them makes me feel a bit out of sorts. :) :)

    Some people claim their favourite change cubicles by leaving clothes in them while they swim. Officially discouraged and unpopular but still happens.

    Anyone else have territorial preferences? How far have you gone to mark them? Have you removed other people’s marks? :)

    Reply ↓
    1. Falling Diphthong*

      How I Met Your Mother had an opening bit about the official booth of the show’s heroes at the bar downstairs. Which was no better than any of the other booths, but the enmity when some other group sat in the booth was deep felt.

      Like you I have a favorite locker at the gym where I swim.

      Reply ↓
  9. Falling Diphthong*

    What are you watching, and would you recommend it?

    Just watched Emilia Perez on Netflix, and blown away. Zoe Saldana plays a severely under-appreciated Mexican lawyer, who agrees to meet with the head of a drug cartel in one of those “You could make a lot of money, or be killed: your choice” scenarios. The cartel head wants to start a new life as a woman, and needs the lawyer to figure out how to do this secretly, with a clean break.

    It’s about transformation, and about the ties to the past that persist through transformation. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but each time it did it felt like of course, this was what would happen. Very satisfying.

    Also it’s a musical.

    Reply ↓
    1. Bilbo Haggins*

      I guess it makes sense that a cartel boss would grow tired of mutilating others and would resort to mutilating himself.

      Reply ↓

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