boss goes through my things, haircut drama, and more

by Alison Green on December 13, 2024

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives.

1. My boss sits at my desk and goes through my things

I just started a new receptionist job with a very small company. This is my first time in any kind of front-desk role. When I’m at lunch, my boss sits at my desk to answer calls and greet visitors (both of which are extremely rare). I think it’s odd, since there’s a doorbell that guests can use that rings to her desk and the phones forward to her if I don’t answer them, but because I’ve never been in this type of position before, I have no idea if this is normal or not. I decided not to ask her about it in case it would make me look naive.

The really uncomfortable part is that when she’s up at my desk, she has a habit of looking through my stuff. I took notes on some of her procedures on a legal pad during training, and yesterday she went through the notes while she was covering the desk. She annotated them for me (mostly useless things like underlining things for emphasis, but in one case she misread my handwriting and thought she was correcting a typo). This made me feel very uncomfortable, like I don’t have any privacy if she’s going to be going through all my things. She never told me she would do this or asked my permission – in fact, she made a point of saying that this is my desk and I can do whatever I want there!

The most cringeworthy thing so far was when I left to use the bathroom today. I don’t have to tell her when I’m going to the bathroom, but when I came back, she was up at the front desk and waiting for me. She whispered to me, “I left some goodies in your purse,” and sure enough, there were some company-branded client gifts in there (think phone charger, USB). I was shocked that she had gone through my purse, even to do something nice. I would much rather her hand them to me or use a drawer than open my bag, which was zipped and under my desk, to put something in there. Am I overreacting or is this truly inappropriate? If the latter, how can I get this to stop?

No, it’s weird and boundary-violating. It’s not outrageous-level violating, but it’s definitely off.

I’d wait to see if it happens again before saying anything. If it does, the purse thing is the easiest one to address. You could say, “I appreciate you giving me this stuff, but I have a thing about people going in my purse — will you leave them on the desk instead? Thanks!” (Also, if you have a drawer that locks, start keeping your purse in there.)

The notes are harder since technically it’s her prerogative to look at your notes if she wants to. Because of that, your better bet may be to just switch things up logistically to make it harder for her to do it — try putting them in a drawer or under other papers. But if it keeps happening, you could say, “I don’t write those notes thinking anyone else will see them, so I feel a little self-conscious when you annotate them! I definitely want your feedback, of course, but I’d much rather get it face to face if there’s something you want me doing differently.”

The bigger issue is whether these are signs that she’s going to be boundary-violating in other ways, so keep your eyes open for that.

– 2017

2. Haircut drama is disrupting my office

I’m a manager in an Human Resources department for a large company. Back in December a new employee started in our office. “Nina” wears her hair in a pixie cut. Another employee, “Mika,” got obessed with Nina’s hair. She talked about how great it was all the time. Mika’s hair was a single length and almost down to her stomach. Nina was flattered and she showed Mika several photos of herself with the cut, which she has had for three years. She was honest about the maintenance and what goes into having the cut. Mika decided to get it and even went to Nina’s salon to get it done.

However, Mika hates the cut on herself. She has cried over it while at work and this makes everyone uncomfortable. She said she has spent hundreds on vitamins to make her hair grow faster, and she is also getting into more personal territory because she has been telling everyone about how her husband is upset that she spent the money they were saving for a vacation on an expensive wig without telling him. Mika says her husband supported whatever she wants to do with her hair and it’s not about her hair but about her spending the money without telling him. Several of her colleagues have told me Mika’s random crying and oversharing of her marital issues are making them uncomfortable. Nina has said she was flattered at first but has become annoyed and uncomfortable with Mika because Mika still likes Nina’s hair but cries about it on herself. This is Nina’s first job after college and her second job ever. I see why she is uncomfortable because while Mika is not her boss, she is not her peer and is senior to her. Nina says Mika blames her for talking her into getting the cut (even though Nina did no such thing) and then will cry and apologize to her for being harsh.

I really want to be understanding to Mika, but this situation is becoming untenable. No one wants to be around Mika and I am fairly certain Nina is job hunting. How can I gently speak to Mika about not crying every day or oversharing her marital issues with her colleagues, especially Nina?

Oh my goodness. It sounds like at this point you need to tell Mika that it’s becoming disruptive and she needs to keep this out of the office. I would say it this way: “I know you’re unhappy with your haircut, and I’m sympathetic. However, at this point continuing to talk about it in the office is becoming disruptive, and I’m sure you can understand it’s making things particularly uncomfortable for Nina. Going forward, I’d like you to keep conversations about your haircut out of the office. I know that might seem like an odd thing to ask, but it’s become such a focal point that it’s truly disrupting the office.”

Ideally her manager should have this conversation with Mika rather than you. But as HR, you can coach her manager in how to do it. (But if you feel her manager won’t do it effectively — if she’s inexperienced or terrible at delivering difficult messages — you could step in and handle it. But make sure that her manager is looped in and ready to back you up on this.)

– 2017

3. Should you tell an interviewee she has something in her teeth?

Our team interviewed a candidate today who got a large clump of lipstick on her teeth about 15 minutes in. No one brought it up. We talked for about an hour and got a good sense of her fit for the position, so it was actually a pretty good interview for us. But I kept imagining her discovering the lipstick blob afterwards and being embarrassed after the fact. I think none of us told her because she was young and we didn’t want to make her nervous, but I know I would have wanted to know if I were her. What would you (or readers) have done?

Was there any opportunity to say something to her privately (not in front of an entire panel of interviewers), and was there a way she could have fixed it privately (like on a bathroom break)? If so, you could have discreetly said something to her, ideally just at the start of that break so she could immediately fix it in private. If not, though, it’s a lot harder. I suppose in that case you could have suggested a break (even though you wouldn’t have otherwise had one) but if it was only an hour-long interview, that’s hard to do too. So ultimately, I think it’s okay that you didn’t say anything. Not ideal, but it sounds like maybe it was unavoidable for it to play out that way.

– 2017

4. Is it a red flag if all your interviewers are running late?

I recently had three interviews with a company that I was very excited about, until the actual interview process. The first interview was on a Monday and by phone. They had instructed me that they would conference call me and asked for a number to reach me. They were 23 minutes late to call. I had planned this interview during my lunch break so that I could take the call away from my office and sat in my car waiting. At 20 minutes, I decided to give them another five and then call it good, but they made it within my additional five minute allowance. They apologized profusely saying a meeting ran late, so I let it go (we’ve all been there, meeting runs late and you know someone is waiting for you but the time to get up and walk out is not appropriate).

After the phone interview, I was invited to an in-person interview to be conducted by one of the phone interviewers and two other team members. They told me to plan for 1.5 hours – I was there for 2.5 hours because they were 45 minutes late to start. I sat in the conference room waiting that entire 45 minutes without anyone coming to check on me or ask me if I needed water or the restroom. There was no excuse when they finally arrived and they dove right in without again checking in on my wait. This to me was a bit of a red flag, two interviews and late – but I again put it aside just thinking perhaps the lateness is the one person who was present for both interviews. I wouldn’t be working with that person on a daily basis, so dropped it.

They asked me to come back for a “final” interview with three new people who I had not yet met, these being higher in rank, and informed me that I would have one hour with each – again, late. The first person was 10 minutes late, the second 15 minutes late, and the third 30 minutes late (this is on top of the lateness from the previous interview). The third one was the only one to offer an excuse and told me she needed to eat her lunch prior to meeting me because she wouldn’t have time after and had an afternoon full of important meetings that she needed to be on time to. What??? The meeting she had with me wasn’t important enough to be on time?

It really felt as though they did not see me as a priority – until they made an offer yesterday. I’m not sure how I feel about being there now. The interviews went fine and the job would be an advance from what I am doing now, but I’m just not sure – the interview process was a bit of downer. Are late interview starts a new trend? I’ve been at my current job for eight years, so maybe I am missing something.

Ten minutes, even 15 minutes late isn’t a big deal in this context. Annoying, yes, but not something I’d read much into, definitely not enough to turn down an offer over. The reality is that things sometimes run late, and interviews are widely treated as something people can be a little late to. That’s a double standard, yes, but it’s one that’s widely accepted. (And actually, in that day of three interviews, once the first person was late, it’s more understandable that the others were late too — they presumably plugged something else into the original time they’d planned for you, and weren’t sure when you’d be finished with the previous person and available for them. When that third person’s slot got bumped back, it’s very possible that it really did mess up her only ability to eat for the day.)

But the longer waits and the lack of any acknowledgement or apology would worry me more. Still not necessarily enough to turn down the offer over, but I’d take it as a flag to look really hard at what else you’ve learned about their culture and ways of operating. Have you seen evidence that aside from this, they’re really on top of things and operating at a high level? Or have you seen other evidence of disorganization/flakiness? Put this in the context of everything else you know, rather than in a vacuum.

– 2017

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{ 148 comments }

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  1. duinath*

    IDK, when I’ve never had a meeting with a company where anyone was on time, I believe I would bow out.

    It would just signal I’d spend my time there frustrated. I don’t know that it’s disrespectful, exactly? But I like to be able to plan things out. Being on time is important for me.

    Just wouldn’t be a good fit.

    1. ASD always*

      Same here. 5-10 minutes probably wouldn’t register, but 20-55 minutes (30 minutes on top of 15 on top of 10, if I’m reading that correctly) is just far too much wasted time.

      1. Anita Brake*

        Agreed. Once, when I was about 20, I had been laid off from my job, so I was interviewing. At one office the interview started over an hour late with no acknowledgement. They just started the interview as if I hadn’t been waiting for them for over an hour. And I didn’t arrive excessively early; this was over an hour from when the meeting was supposed to start. I was not yet experienced enough to know that this, along with the “we’re all family here!” culture at a really small company (gun repair courses at a correspondence school, if you can believe it!), were giant red flags. I learned a lot from that job! But it was definitely not worth the experience.

    2. Earlk*

      For the time they were all late because of an overrun meeting surely you’d just nominate one person to bow out earlier to start the interview and explain that the rest are running late.

      1. duinath*

        Yep. Don’t get me wrong; you could find a reason to excuse every one of the times they were late, I’d guess.

        But when they are never not late, that is a pattern I don’t like.

        1. Edwina*

          yeah, I’d have to at least ask them about it, especially if I was on the verge of taking my name out of consideration. not much to lose at that point.

      2. Learn ALL the things*

        At my job, external meetings take priority over internal ones. It’s not uncommon to be in a meeting with my team and have one person step out so they can conduct an interview or attend a scheduled client meeting. It matters to is that our reputation with people outside the organization is that we are respectful of their time.

        I don’t know if I would have stayed if I was just alone in a conference room for 45 minutes and nobody showed up.

        1. Bast*

          At this point in my career, I’d walk out. 15 minutes max, and I am gone. I don’t need to be somewhere that disrespects my time; my fear would be it’s indicative of a place that does not know boundaries and thinks nothing of making employees stay late randomly to suit their whim.

          However, when I was new and desperately needed to get my foot in the door, I would have stayed.

      3. House On The Rock*

        I just had a situation like that, where a colleague and I were both in a meeting right before we were set to interview someone. About 5 minutes before the end of the first meeting, I simply said “Herbert and I have an interview with an external candidate at 3 so I’m going to drop off and get that set up. Herbert, you take your time I’ll start off with introductions and general info with the candidate”. Everyone on the call totally understood and it was not a big deal at all! I would have felt awful making someone wait for us both.

        The other thing I question is the person who explicitly said “lunch and my other meetings were more important than this”. Not that lunch isn’t important, but phrasing it the way she did feels off.

        1. Learn ALL the things*

          That one struck me as well. Honestly, I’d be worried that if I took the job, I’d be in the same situation of having so many important overlapping meetings that it would be a struggle to do things like eat lunch and take bathroom breaks. It’s not a great sign, in my opinion.

    3. Roland*

      Yup. It may or may not be a red flag for anything else, but the fact is they have a culture where meetings run late and people stay even if they have other obligations. I would be frustrated every day somewhere like that.

    4. Great Frogs of Literature*

      I think this is really a “know what you’re willing to put up with” situation. I think I could live with an otherwise-great job where everyone was late all the time, as long as I got the same flexibility to be late when other people messed up my schedule. It would annoy me, sure, but I could deal, especially if it was a job where I could continue doing work while waiting for the late person.

      Weirdly, it’s the being 45 minutes late and not apologizing or acknowledging it that might push it over the edge for me. If the job has a culture where we’re all just 20 or 30 minutes late all the time, I don’t necessarily need an apology every single meeting. But I do think you should be enough aware of it to apologize to sometime from outside the company who you’ve never worked with before.

      1. metadata minion*

        Yeah, I’m the same way. Though I would want to figure out whether it’s just that people are terrible about keeping meetings to time, or if it’s because everyone has back-to-back-to-back meetings all the time. Dithering I can put up with; artificial urgency and overwork is a problem.

      2. Smithy*

        I agree that no acknowledgement is the most suspect.

        I’ve worked in offices where if you have back to back meetings, being 5-10 min late is easy, especially if one runs a little over. However, to have 45 min late be remotely standard – those are only jobs that have been on large campuses, notably hospitals, universities, etc. And while for those on that campus, it might be more understandable – for a new interview or other external person – to expect them to blindly understand that you needed to catch a shuttle between meetings and etc etc is not reasonable.

        I do think that best/worst scenario is that folks who work there have begun to see their workplace as the only place in the world. That these types of delays due to something like needing to travel from East to West Campus are just understood, to not step back and realize that’s not a thing in many many other workplaces is a severe blind spot.

        Again, how much of an issue that is will vary – but I would see that as a baseline note.

        1. Elsewise*

          I currently work in an office with a standardized built in five minute grace period for all meetings. New hires are told not to message people until that five minutes is up, and that they are allowed to be up to five minutes late to meetings. As someone with a very intense internal “be on time” pressure, it was an adjustment for sure, but it’s actually been great to know that I can go to the bathroom or grab some water between meetings and no one will be upset.

          However, this is five minutes, and even that is communicated to external applicants so they know that if their interviewers are running a few minutes behind, not to panic. Someone being 45 minutes late to a meeting would still be hugely rude, especially without communication!

    5. Antilles*

      I agree entirely. Being late once is whatever, but the fact they’re currently a 4/4 on being late? Yeah, that’s a massive red flag to me, because ever scenario I can imagine is bad: They’re incredibly disorganized, they’re tremendously overworked and spend all day putting out fires, they have no concept of timeliness, etc.

      1. PurpleShark*

        IDK, this really entirely depends on the business. If it is a service like a health care facility, then yes, emergencies do come up. I think the massive red flag for me would be the lack of acknowledgment that an emergency or something came up, and more specifically when they are running that late, an offer to reschedule or check-in to see if I could still wait. I would also appreciate an estimated time if they are running late.

    6. Workerbee*

      Yeah, we used to have a horrible meeting culture when I joined my current org, and it definitely came from the top: The big boss at the time wanted to do nothing BUT sit in meetings all day (because then he wouldn’t have to do any work), and so encouraged people to ramble on far past the meeting end – and oh, did we have the ramblers! – even though that meant we’d be late to meetings with external clients. And we were late all.the.time.

      Being new, I saw that the rest of the team had gotten kind of trapped in this mode, so I started pointing out/vocalizing that I “had a hard stop, we have clients waiting” and then would try to stick to it. But the culture really only got better overall when the lead rambler left for greener pastures and the big boss got let go.

    7. fine-tipped pen aficionado*

      I think this is a great point. Something doesn’t have to be objectively wrong for it to be wrong for you!

    8. Consonance*

      I’m surprised by Alison’s advice on this topic. In my experience throughout my career, interviews are probably the one time where being late is definitely inappropriate. As someone conducting interviews, I’ve always ensured they start on-the-dot, and never go over time. If someone on my search committee were late, I’d be really frustrated. I can’t think of any interview I’ve ever had as a candidate where it was significantly delayed. None of that is to say that being late can never happen, but the idea that it’s broadly accepted to be late is very far outside of my experience.

  2. Strive to Excel*

    #3 reminds me of the awesome letter where someone panicked that they had condoms fall out of their bag during the interview and then updated us with the news that:

    a) they got hired
    b) they told their interviewer several months down the road
    c) their interviewer cried with laughter and said that she’d spent the whole interview panicking about the huge lipstick blob she’d not seen in time to fix and thus had not registered the condoms at all

    I am not having any luck finding the link but will post it if I do :)

  3. Arrietty*

    It amuses me that so many of the reruns are from 2017. Was that a particularly ridiculous year? Or just long enough ago to feel fresh? Either way, I’d forgotten most of these so it’s nice to see them again.

    3. Ask a Manager* Post author

      Ha, it’s because when I started doing reruns for Decembers some years ago, I started with the oldest parts of archives and have worked my way forward, and now I’m up to 2017 (although I sometimes sprinkle in others for variety).

  4. FashionablyEvil*

    Man, I’d love updates for these (especially the boss annotating someone’s notes and the haircut drama.)

    1. I edit everything*

      I think that during update season, all letter reruns should be ones with updates. It’s only fair!

    2. Hlao-roo*

      No official updates, but a few of these letter-writers posted in the comments of the original letters.

      “My boss sits at my desk and goes through my things” letter-writer commented twice as OP #1:

      Long story short, I quit with no notice after a month. I felt bad, and I know how unprofessional that is, but at least it’s not somewhere I worked long enough to have to list it on my resume. It was a nightmare and I’m just glad to be done!

      “Haircut drama is disrupting my office” letter-writer commented twice as OP #1:

      Unfortunately the company does not offer an EAP or anything along those lines. Mika has worked here for over a decade and has never caused drama or acted like this before she got the haircut. As her manager I don’t feel comfortable telling her she needs to see a therapist or probe whether or not she is having other issues. She has told me (voluntarily, without me asking) that she doesn’t have any issues with mental health and her marriage was good before she caused problems by spending the vacation money, but I have tried to gently discourage this line of thought because I’m her manager and don’t want to get into such personal things.

      “Is it a red flag if all your interviewers are running late?” letter-writer commented once as “Lost in Time”:

      Thank you all for these comments. I have decided to decline the offer. Last night I was thinking back on the interviews and no one seemed excited during the interview, the interview with the woman who I would be replacing ran late and they did not allow me to ask her any questions (though I did follow up by email – no reply yet) and I just get the sense that something is off. About 30 mins ago I got the written offer letter – my name is spelled wrong and the salary on the letter is $5,000 less than the verbal offer!!!!! Something with this company is a real miss (and mess).

      I’ll link to the comments in a reply.

      2. Resentful Oreos*

        It’s too bad Mika’s office doesn’t offer an EAP because Mika sure sounds like she needs it. If she doesn’t want to discuss her marital issues with LW that’s her prerogative, but, it’s also the LW’s prerogative to tell her “you need to knock it off and be civil to Nina while you’re at work.”

        Spending vacation money on an expensive wig (when it’s not because of chemo or something) – yep, Mika’s got issues. How she solves them is her business. But she’s got to act like an adult at work and work and play well with others, including Nina. It’s not Nina’s fault that the haircut didn’t work out.

    3. Hlao-roo*

      “My boss sits at my desk and goes through my things” letter-writer left an update comment here:

      https://www.askamanager.org/2017/10/my-boss-goes-through-my-things-how-far-back-to-list-your-experience-and-more.html#comment-1669730

      “Haircut drama is disrupting my office” letter-writer left comments with more information here:

      https://www.askamanager.org/2017/10/haircut-drama-avoiding-video-chats-with-clients-and-more.html#comment-1666510

      “Is it a red flag if all your interviewers are running late?” letter-writer left an update comment here:

      https://www.askamanager.org/2017/10/should-i-tell-my-coworkers-i-have-hemorrhoids-all-my-interviewers-were-running-late-and-more.html#comment-1678342

      1. Vathena*

        Just here to say I love your screen name! My 11yo and I just finished reading “Watership Down” (her first time, my second- a fave). :)

  5. Turingtested*

    Letter 2 just baffles me. I’ve gone from long hair to pixie a few times, and each time the hairdresser asked many pointed questions about my emotional health, general mental state, and made sure I understood it would be years to grow out my hair.

    And then to blame and intimidate a younger employee fresh into the workforce for your personal decision! I have a hard time believing that Mika was completely reasonable before the haircut.

    1. Seamyst*

      Exactly! I went from boob-length hair to a pixie in one session, and the stylist was the nervous one before, asking if I was sure about this, etc. (Afterward, she and the other stylists all gushed about how great it looked on me!)

      Also, you can get very nice wigs for $100 and below, so it’s baffling that Mika spent a vacation-savings amount on one.

        1. BatManDan*

          Yup. There is tension in her relationship with her husband, and she’s displacing the discomfort with her decision onto Nina, and her discomfort with being unable to discuss it with her husband onto her co-workers. Many reasons why this is likely happening, but that’s my educated guess here.

      2. Resentful Oreos*

        I didn’t even go as drastic – I went from hip length hair to a mid-back layered cut. So from “real long” to “long but manageable.” And my hairdresser at the time still asked me if I was sure, that this was a big change, etc. (I wound up very happy with my new hair!)

        I think *most* hairdressers will query you about whether this is something you really want to go through with if you’re going to do a drastic cut.

    2. Bella Ridley*

      I mean, I’ve had my hair chopped into a very short pixie and all the hairdresser asked was if I was sure. She didn’t conduct a psychological interview beforehand or anything, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the stylist in question didn’t either. Or considering Mika’s reaction, even if the stylist did, she could have just told her she was super psyched for it.

      1. Jackalope*

        This has been more my experience as well. Each time I’ve had a haircut that drastically changed the length the stylist asked if I was sure, but when I said I was they went ahead and did it without further questions.

      2. Tio*

        Yeah same here. The hair stylist is not my therapist! Thye just want to know enough to ensure that you’re not going to freak out on THEM if you don’t like it and be sobbing in their store or refusing to pay because you made a bad decision. Sounds like Turingtested’s stylist might have had a really bad experience or two!

        1. Turingtested*

          Oh maybe I made it sound more dramatic than it was. “Ok I have to ask-you aren’t in a fight with anyone right now?” “Before I do the big cut, you still good? remember, 3-5 years to grow it out!”

          Those type of questions not like “Did a parent cut your hair traumatically?”

          1. Drago Cucina*

            That made me laugh. Because I have fine, thin hair, my mother would always cut my hair in a bad pixie. I dreamed of long luxurious hair.

            So my Christmas present when I was in 5th grade was a cheap, blonde, polyester, fall (look up 70s, fall hair piece). Needless to say it didn’t look real. I look back at my school photos and cringe.

            Today I wear my hair even shorter than a pixie. I still get asked if I’m sure. Uh, it’s obviously not a whim. Get out those number three clippers.

            2. Missa Brevis*

              Oof. At least my unfortunate childhood haircut was my own choice – I got tired of dealing with long hair, begged to get a pixie cut, and promptly discovered that my ultra-fine hair turns into an even less manageable dandelion puff if it’s shorter than shoulder length. That was a long couple of years while it grew back out.

          2. Meaningful hats*

            I wonder if I’m blessed with fast-growing hair because I’ve gone from a shaved head (took a #2 clipper to my hair and had at it) to shoulder-length hair in 2 years. I’ve grown out pixies in about 6 months.

            1. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

              Perhaps you’re blessed, but really, what does “long hair” mean? It’s very subjective. For that matter, what does “shoulder length” mean? Touches the top of the shoulder? Hits the top of the shoulder blade?

              1. Weaponized Pumpkin*

                Mine grew that fast through my 20s, but now it’s growing 1/2″ per month — which my stylists tell me is average. (I’m currently growing out my gray and very irritated about that.)

        2. All het up about it*

          Funny story – the first time I cut my hair VERY short – not quite pixie, but nearly, my stylist herself cried. I LOVED it – and have continuously gone back and forth from long to short, including some real pixie cuts over the years. But it was certainly disconcerting to have your hairstylist in tears. (Small shop in a small town and the same stylist who cut my mom and family’s hair, which helps explain the over investment in a clients’ hair. Somewhat at least.)

    3. Caz*

      Same! I once went from waist-length (oh it was driving me crazy) to pixie in one session and the hairdresser insisted on doing it in intervals – taking off 6 inches first, which is a dramatic change, do you want to continue, now to chin length, very dramatic change, do you want to continue, then finally to pixie. Mika has something else going on and/or does not listen to people who are trying to help her.

      1. JustaTech*

        There’s a historical costumer on YouTube (Morgan Donner) who did a video of historical hair styles where she went from past-hip-length hair to a buzz cut.
        She was very happy to do it (had done something similar before) but a *lot* of people in the comments were quietly freaking out because it wasn’t something they could imagine doing themselves.
        Like, my hair is long and I’ve had it that way for a very long time (ever since a traumatic involuntary haircut as a preschooler – don’t let little kids have scissors unsupervised!) but I know myself well enough to know that no matter how cute someone else’s pixie is, *I* would have a really hard time with such a radical change.

        1. TeaCoziesRUs*

          That was one of my first thoughts!! I love how she did it – 500 years of hairstyles, and she even popped herself in with short hair a couple times, as well as a mullet. She also did a follow up video, in which she acknowledged that late fall in Vermont is, perhaps, not the best time of year to pixie unless you SERIOUSLY want to invest in beanies. :D

    4. Frankie Mermaids*

      I understand being initially upset/regretful over making such a drastic change but if Mika has had time to “spend hundreds” on vitamins and her entire vacation savings on a wig, and she is STILL regularly crying about it at work there’s something else at play here. It doesn’t matter what. She just needs to leave Nina alone about it.

      1. MigraineMonth*

        I’m not certain about that. Appearance can be a really important part of one’s identity and how other people respond to you, and a significant change in it can affect one’s self-esteem and even one’s sense of self.

        None of that changes that Mika needs to learn to deal with that in a way that stops disrupting work and negatively affecting Nina, or that she probably could use help working through it now, but I don’t think an intense emotional reaction–even a long-lasting one–necessarily indicates underlying trauma, mental health diagnosis, marital troubles, etc.

    5. Saturday*

      I think she was sure and excited about it – it sounds like she thought about it for a long time – but then she didn’t like it in the end. To me, the baffling part is that she keeps bringing it up at work.

    6. WorkerDrone*

      Oh wow, different strokes for different folks and all but I would be so put off by a hairdresser asking me pointed questions about my emotional health or mental state just for a hair cut, extreme cut or not. That would feel incredibly invasive and absolutely none of their business; I’d see it as so far out of the norm I’m honestly not sure I’d continue to patronize that hairdresser and I definitely wouldn’t be answering questions like that.

      That to say, I doubt Mika’s hairdresser did a deep dive into her psyche before chopping it off, but honestly, it isn’t the hairdresser’s job to.

      1. Workerbee*

        Eh, I don’t really pay attention to this because I barely even want to go in for a trim, but I’ve somehow heard too many stories about women getting drastic hair cuts after or during upheavals in their lives. So it makes sense to me that a savvy hairdresser would take a step back and suss out a “why”. It makes even more sense now with our blame-others culture.

      2. Kit*

        A stylist only has to have one client threaten to leave nasty reviews, refuse to pay, or – worse – actually do either, before they may decide that a couple extra questions are worth it for everyone’s peace of mind. It doesn’t need to be a deep dive, but it’s not unreasonable from a business perspective, never mind that this is often someone who sees that client every 4-6 weeks or so and has developed a friendly rapport with them.

        Then again, I think this is rather like the artist double-checking to make sure that someone is certain before starting on their first tattoo; people’s bodies are very personal to them and also sort of inescapable for them, and if you’re in a profession where you make alterations to bodies, you get to deal with some people’s feelings about their bodies before and after those alterations. Sometimes it’s joy, sometimes it’s regret, but wanting to try and tilt the playing field away from regret isn’t some wildly out-of-step norm.

    7. J*

      Early in my worklife, I worked with a very young woman who went from long hair to a pixie cut. It’s hard to remember details now, but it turned out that she was from a patriarchal family and culture and her fiance had told her she couldn’t cut her hair and called off the engagement. She was not a drama person, reserved but very sweet. I gathered – or maybe wishfully imagined? – that she cut her hair on purpose to end the engagement.

      That was 25+ years ago but with the rise in “trad culture” religious groups, I do wonder if this person’s husband felt she had violated an unwritten rule about how wives are supposed to look.

      Who knows? This is one where I wish we could have a “where are they now” about the co-worker! Did the hair grow out before she went completely off the rails? Did the husband find new things about her choices to dislike?

      1. Learn ALL the things*

        I grew up in conservative religion and I have a friend whose mom always wanted short hair, but her husband doesn’t like short hair on women so she has long hair. It’s A Thing in people who embrace “traditional” gender roles.

        1. The Prettiest Curse*

          The Catholic all-girls private high school next to mine apparently had a rule that pupils must have at least shoulder length hair and needed advance permission (!) to get it cut.
          Very glad I didn’t go to that school, because I would not have wanted to deal with all their petty rules, and also because I have very fine hair that looks absolutely terrible if I try to grow it out

      2. JustaTech*

        When I started college there were a *lot* of other women in my class who got drastic haircuts as part of going to college. For all of them it was about finding themselves and creating a major separation from the past. Not all (or even most) of them came from patriarchal or traditional families.
        I think it was a combination of “long hair is for little girls” and cutting your hair being the easiest, cheapest and most reversible way of drastically changing your appearance.

  7. Apex Mountain*

    I realize this isn’t the point of the letter but how expensive are wigs that one can cost as much as a vacation??

    1. CV*

      We may be seeing an unreliable narrator—perhaps Mika has told husband the wig was $$$$ but that is hiding other money indiscretions.

    2. BatManDan*

      Probably not the same price, but if they were saving for a vacation, and she spent some of the money budgeted for the vacation, it likely set them back weeks or months in being able to take the vacation

      1. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

        And if they’ve already committed to the vacation (PTO, deposit, etc), then there may be no time for such a setback and it will require offsetting cuts elsewhere or forfeiture; that’d explain the stress and strife.

    3. Clisby*

      Of course, I have no idea how much they planned to spend on a vacation, but human hair wigs can be as much as $2000 (or probably even more).

      1. Ali + Nino*

        Yep, and they can easily cost more than that depending on the length, not to mention styling/coloring it to get it the way you want it.

    4. Learn ALL the things*

      There’s a pretty wide range of wig prices, from the cheap ones in the Halloween store to the ones that cost a few thousand dollars. I remember reading once that the wig budget on Game of Thrones was fairly astronomical, given how long most of them were and how realistic they wanted them to look.

      Real life wig wearers don’t generally spend what it would cost to get a TV/Movie costume level wig, but they’re out there and it wouldn’t surprise me if someone experiencing this level of haircut regret went overboard and bought a super expensive wig because they’re trying to pretend the haircut never happened.

    5. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      a natural hair, especially virgin hair, is especially expensive. Although I didn’t take it to mean it was the cost of an entire vacation. More that they had saved some money up for a vacation (but maybe not all of it) and she took a big chunk of it.

    6. H.Regalis*

      A full human hair wig can get really expensive: Thousands of dollars, depending on the length, and if she was getting one that was waist-length or close to it, that’s going to be one of the most expensive ones out there.

      The benefit of human hair over synthetic is that you can heat style it. Synthetic hair will melt.

    7. Frosty*

      Wigs can cost many many thousands of dollars depending on what it’s made with (synthetic or human hair), the condition, the way it’s put together, the length etc.

      That’s before any styling or dying etc. that might take place. She definitely could have easily spent hundreds without even blinking. She also doesn’t sound like she has great impulse control so who knows what she actually bought.

    8. Ask a Manager* Post author

      My mom had one during chemo that was $600. I could see that being a chunk of someone’s vacation fund. (It was incredibly flattering, we all loved it.)

  8. Llama lamma workplace drama*

    Is anyone else having a HUGE Ronald McDonald House add pop up about every 1 minute that covers the screen? I’m trying to read comments here but it keeps popping up. Small ads on the bottom of the screen and sides of the screen I understand but it covers the entire webpage and I have to click the X in the corner to close it out.

    1. Beany*

      Not seeing that (here, today), but I frequently encounter pop-up/slide-over ads on pages these days, and I think the point *is* that you have to click the X in the corner to get rid of it. The more of your brain space it takes up, the better the ad is doing.

    2. AMH*

      Under the connect option up top, there’s a link to report an issue with an ad. Might be worth letting Alison know that way; ad services sometimes have odd ones get through.

    3. LimeRoos*

      Yeah, same. And it’s on almost all the pages, since I use the Surprise Me! button a lot too. At least it’s not noisy lol.

    5. Insert Clever Name Here*

      It comes up on mobile for me the first time I come to the site each day this week, but I haven’t reported it because the X is easy to find (sometimes they hide them like it’s the freaking holy grail); it doesn’t come up on my laptop.

    8. Zona the Great*

      Yes but because it’s RMH, I don’t mind clicking out of it. I was unwilling to report it because of their good work. I get why you’re annoyed tho.

    9. Ask a Manager* Post author

      Super frustrating, I’m sorry about this — I’ve had repeated reports of it this week and my ad network is trying to block it but it apparently keeps forcing its way through. I’ll let them know it’s still showing up and that Ronald McDonald has a lot to answer for.

  9. Student*

    A quality synthetic wig is $300-500, but as someone mentioned above, decent wigs can be found for closer to $100. But a high-end human hair wig can run into the thousands.

    1. Falling Diphthong*

      And Mika really isn’t doing anything to suggest she has a sense of proportional response to this as a problem, so I can see “Only a top quality hip-length human hair wig can repair this” being where she landed.

  10. JP*

    Obligatory Bobby Hill “That’s my purse!”

    But seriously, you do not open another person’s purse unless they have given you explicit permission. I thought everyone knew this, but apparently not LW1’s boss.

    1. Antilles*

      I’m guessing OP1’s boss knows quite well that’s not acceptable, but just wanted to snoop. It seems incredibly unlikely to me that it’s pure coincidence that the boss happened to stop by to deliver the goodie bag during the exact 5 minutes OP1 was in the restroom AND somehow never thought to simply leave the goodie bag on the desk.

    2. Nightengale*

      Acceptable reason for my boss to go through my purse:

      I am unconscious and she needs my ID/insurance card/emergency contact information/diabetes supplies (although everyone where I work at this point should know I keep those supplies in my tote bag and my bottom desk drawer)

      Second acceptable reason:

      I am tied up and say explicitly, with words, to a boss I trust: oh go take $5 out of my purse to help pay for whateverthing

      I can’t think of a third reason

      1. Scholarly Publisher*

        I left it in the bathroom or other common area, and my boss is looking through it for ID so they can return it to the right person.

        Can’t think of another legit reason to go through it when it’s in my desk.

      2. Meri*

        I misread “tied up” as literally tied up, and thought that $5 was an awfully low ransom demand before I blinked and re-read it as intended, but there’s the third reason.

      1. Ama*

        I have had a boundary testing boss (who was ultimately fired for embezzlement – his boundary testing was to see if I would be as oblivious to his scheme as his previous report) and this was my first thought. Not necessarily that the boss is as nefarious as mine but that she was testing what OP would tolerate.

      1. JP*

        My partner’s the same way with mine. He might set some papers or something on top of my purse if he wants me to have them, but not in my purse.

        The only other person’s purse I’ve ever gone through is my mom’s, and that’s only because she plops it in my lap and tells me to grab her a tissue or something.

      3. House On The Rock*

        My spouse of 30 years also asks permission to both take things out and put things into my purse – even when it’s replacing the same item, like car keys or lip balm. I wouldn’t really care if he didn’t, but he knows instinctively it’s a boundary. The fact that this boss acts like it doesn’t is weird and concerning.

      4. Insert Clever Name Here*

        I can’t remember if it was an article or a podcast, but I recently heard the explanation that generally speaking, a woman’s purse is analogous to a man’s pocket. You wouldn’t just reach into a man’s pocket to grab a stick of gum and you don’t reach into a woman’s purse to grab one either.

    5. JMC*

      Definitely not. One thing I do not put up is anyone touching anything of mine, going into a bag, opening drawers, moving stuff, whatever. Keep your mitts off.

    6. So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out*

      I don’t even carry a purse and the idea of someone going into someone’s purse without permission causes me to recoil. It’s somewhere between going through someone’s backpack (which I do carry and such would cause me to recoil) and going through someone’s pockets.

    8. Freya*

      I have restricted medications in my handbag; I am comfortable leaving it under my desk at work, but I am also never any further away than the bathroom, which is within earshot of the main office. Any time I’m going to be further away than a given distance from my handbag and it’ll be out of my sight, it goes with me, because I am very well aware that I carry enough of my meds that anyone pinching it will be, in my part of Australia, deemed to be in possession with intent to supply, and that’s a serious indictable offence, which means it is also a crime for me not to report it to the police. I choose to not take the risk that I will have to do that much paperwork, so I suffer the inconvenience of hauling my overstuffed handbag with me.

  11. Alexis Rose*

    Letter 4:

    My concern with the lateness is that it happened THREE times. Flakiness and disorganization are certainly possible, but I wonder if what is actually going on is that work culture is one of perpetual business with not enough time to get things done. Or the culture is one where there is minimal resourcing allocated to preventing urgencies so all the time spent is running around dealing with urgencies/emergencies, and the cycle just repeats itself.

    Who knows, maybe by filling this position they were hiring for it would help solve that issue: one more set of hands to complete all the work, plan ahead to avoid issues. But I would be asking questions about workflow, if there are clearly documented procedures for things, etc.

    1. HonorBox*

      Trying to look at this without my own notion about time (I noted this below), I’d be much more likely to give some benefit of the doubt for the third part where things started a bit late and the lateness escalated. Once you start late it is difficult to catch up, especially if it is higher level people within the business.

      The phone call starting more than 20 minutes late is a problem. Maybe not the end of the world kind of problem, but a problem nonetheless.

      The exec delaying because they needed to eat lunch is also a problem. I think I’d forgo lunch if it put an interview THAT far behind. But also maybe not an end of the world problem because everything else started late already.

      The 45 minute wait for the second interview with zero interaction with anyone is the largest problem to me. Yes, things happen, and there are things outside of everyone’s control that may cause something like that. But someone…anyone…needed to be checking in with the LW with updates (excuses) and offers of water, a restroom, a chance to get up and stretch their legs.

    2. Sneaky Squirrel*

      I’m someone who works in a company like this and this was my thought as well. It could be indicative of a culture where people are reactive rather than proactive. LW could expect to spend a lot of time shifting priorities to address the latest urgent issue.

  12. Throwaway Account*

    I know these are old letters, but purse snooping boss, what the heck!!

    I’d love an update to that one!

  13. HonorBox*

    I learned from my dad that being on time, or even a few minutes early, is respectful. So I have almost compulsively tried to be a few minutes early for everything. As I’ve gotten older, had children, lived more, I’ve softened a bit on timing. I still try to be early, but I’m less rigid. I better understand that things happen, so a meeting may start 5 or 10 minutes late.

    With that in mind, I don’t know that I’d completely write off an opportunity where interviews started really late like in the 4th letter. But I would weigh that heavily as I made a decision should an offer be made. Maybe it isn’t something a company can’t come back from, but what does it show you about the workplace? Are things too chaotic that people are running 20, 30, 45 minutes late chronically? Do they not value people enough to check in with them and give them updates while they’re waiting 45 minutes?

    There’s a distinct power imbalance in interviews, which is something I really try to keep in mind when I’m on the hiring side – we had an interview just last week and we waited 10 minutes for the person to show up in the Zoom before ending it. But companies really do need to recognize that the people they’re interviewing also have other things in their lives. And as has been rightfully pointed out so many times on this site, interviews are a two way conversation. If you keep a candidate waiting multiple times for extensive periods of time… and I consider anything beyond 15 extensive here… you’re not putting your best foot forward as a company.

    1. Frieda*

      I think of people who regularly arrive late to meetings as completely disrespectful of my time. Once? Sure, anyone can have a flat tire, or a technology glitch, or some other unexpected delay. I would expect someone in that situation to do the thing I’d do: contact the other person as soon as they could, apologize briefly, and ask to reschedule. In an interview I’d be patient with the first delay, and then would as people said above keep in mind that there might be a domino effect.

      But every appointment through a whole multi-intervew process? Nope. Whatever is going on there, it’s not the place for me. The idea of agreeing with someone to meet for an estimated period beginning at a specific time and then … not doing that? And also not saying: I realize we’re running very behind schedule; I’m so sorry.

      Clocks and calendars exist for a reason.

      1. HonorBox*

        As I wrote my response, I was trying very hard to balance out my gut reaction of anxiety and anger. If I was in that situation, I might have been understanding of the delay for the first interview, but a bit agitated about the delay. I’d have walked out of the conference room in the second interview and at least asked someone if I’d been forgotten. But after 30 minutes of sitting with zero interaction, there wouldn’t have been an interview.

        1. AngryOctopus*

          After 15′ I’d expect someone to come in with something like “I’m so sorry, we’re having a board meeting today and it’s running way over, can I get you anything” and I would definitely ask to reschedule at that point. But after 30′ for sure I would have left, at this point in my career I’d know it wasn’t a fit.

  14. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    #1 The training notes are the only item she could reasonably look at – but NOT annotate. Everything else the OP posted is clear boundary-crossing.

    However, with such a loopy and unpredictable boss, I’d first try to avoid trouble and just lock everything in my desk drawer that I didn’t want her to poke through.
    If you’ve no locks, or she starts going into anything you didn’t lock up – e.g. your coat, spare shoes, mug – then I’d talk to her.
    And of course, job hunt if you can as she’s an unreasonably nosy pain.

    #2 Is she mid-teens? Otherwise, time to grow up (even if she’s 40)

    #3 Lipstick blooper isn’t something I’d personally find worth mentioning.
    However, I’d quietly notify her asap about e.g. skirt tucked behind into her underpants or loo paper trailing behind

  15. Clearance Issues*

    Mika needs to get over herself. It was her hair, Nina did not hold her down to force her to get the haircut. She is allowed to dislike how she looks with short hair, but she needs to drop it, own her mistake, and then remember that portraying confidence makes the haircut work.

    I get hating how a haircut turned out, I just had my hair botched by a hairdresser I used to trust. It technically looks fine but it is not at all what I asked for. With the initial style, it did not compliment my face, my confidence was shot, and I did cry over it… at home. At work I make sure I’m presentable and deal/laugh about it (and blame hat head in the cold weather when my hair goes everywhere).

    1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

      I had a bad haircut once. I wanted a trim, they cut it super short. Nota Bene, the hairdressed had super short hair so assumptions were made when I said I wanted it not to touch my shoulders anymore. Like so short that my husband who never notices my haircuts (because its usually an inch cut off) came home from work and went ….oooooh, you got your hair cut. Yeah I was less than thrilled, but I just went with it. It will grow back. It’s hair.

      1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

        same! I wanted it collar BONE length and they cut it to collar length. Thats like 3 inches! I hated it, especially because my hair takes a really long time to grow out.

      2. Ama*

        I also had that problem – on my 17th birthday no less. The hairdresser measured “collarbone length ” by pulling my wet hair so straight it hurt so of course when it dried it was about two inches off my shoulders. I cried all afternoon (because 17). And then I got over it.

        I suspect there’s something else Mika is unhappy with in her life and she’s fixated on the haircut because the other issue feels too big to tackle.

        1. DramaQ*

          I suspect there’s something else Mika is unhappy with in her life and she’s fixated on the haircut because the other issue feels too big to tackle.

          I was thinking that too. To be so upset you go behind your husband’s back and use money that was agreed to be for a vacation on a wig?!

          That speaks to much deeper problems than just a bad haircut. Nina didn’t make her get it, Nina did not shove the vacation money into Mika’s hand. Mika needs to be told to knock it off. It’s gone way beyond a bad hair cut if it has Nina job hunting.

          1. Resentful Oreos*

            I agree with you – something is going on with Mika if she’s boo hooing that her bad haircut is all Nina’s fault, making Nina’s life miserable, and buying an expensive wig with vacation money. She’s acting like a middle schooler.

            Mika should be told to leave Nina alone. And maybe if the company offers some kind of counseling or benefits for therapy, to be directed there. Not make Nina’s life miserable.

            If everyone who got a pixie cut and wore ballet flats because Audrey Hepburn looked great in hers, found out it wasn’t flattering to them, Audrey would have been pelted with eggs and rotten produce every time she stepped outside! Most people aren’t Mika, though, they are adults who take responsibility for their own decisions.

    2. Ali + Nino*

      But the part that’s so baffling to me is that SHE BOUGHT A WIG. She can wear it whenever she is out in public and NO ONE, not even her husband, has to see her without it if she so chooses. She has an immediate and obvious out until her hair grows to a length she does like, and yet she has so little control of her emotions that this isn’t enough. She needs to get a grip.

  16. Jane Bingley*

    The purse-snooping boss is definitely a boundary-crosser, but I think I’d just start taking some of my stuff with me. Grab my purse, tuck my notebook in it, and then duck out for lunch or run to the bathroom. It shouldn’t have to be that way, but if you know she’s unreasonable, only leaving stuff you’re not worried about her snooping in is a reasonable way to keep a boundary.

  17. Another Kristin*

    LW1 reminds me of the time I stayed in a B and B where the owner went into my room when I was out and moved my suitcase. Apparently putting it on the luggage rack in the room was wrong and I needed to put it in the closet! When I confronted her about it, she scolded me for being so inconsiderate about where I’d left the suitcase, making her put it away for me.

    I don’t know if she rifled through my suitcase or not, but as she clearly was a person who did not understand boundaries, I wouldn’t be surprised. I just wish I’d packed a lot of drugs or a particularly large vibrator or something to remind her why you don’t touch other peoples’ property!

    1. Another Kristin*

      Not recommending that the LW keep a vibrator in her purse, unless she REALLY wants to give her boss a shock

  18. PMReplacedByAI*

    I always tell my team to treat candidates the same way you treat customers. We are trying to sell them on ourselves as a great place to work.

    I would have noped right out of a company where they were late to interviews and didn’t communicate. Yes, sometimes there is something on fire and you need to deal with it immediately, but you can send someone (anyone) to check on your candidate and make sure they know you haven’t forgotten them. People who can’t manage that are unlikely to be better once you actually work in their office.

  19. H.Regalis*

    Ugh, Mika. I’m guessing Mika has something else going on and the haircut became the load-bearing anxiety repository (swap out anxiety as needed). That’s sad, but it needs to stay out of work. She’s gotta deal with that herself, away from her coworkers, and especially away from Nina. Poor Nina!

  20. bmorepm*

    wow I’m super surprised by Alison’s comment in L1, “The notes are harder since technically it’s her prerogative to look at your notes if she wants to.” I don’t think that’s accurate at all or that it would be an agreed upon thought. Yes, in theory, it could make sense under some circumstances for a manager to look at your notes, but taking it upon themselves to read them and especially annotate them is not normal behavior and not widely accepted as is suggested.

    1. Leenie*

      I think the “technically” is doing some work in that sentence. I don’t think the behavior was normal or expected (as you mentioned, especially the annotation). But work product sitting out on your desk is technically fair game. Telling your boss to stay out of your handbag is way more straightforward than telling them not to read your work notes, which are probably (again, technically) company property.

  21. SnoopingBoss*

    Be aware that many companies will go through locked drawers, etc. If it’s stored at work they’ll look at it. Annotating, however, is a new one on me.

    The purse is questionable unless it’s done in the presence of its owner, but most companies I’ve worked at would consider it fair game since it was on their premises.

    That said, it usually wouldn’t be done unless there was a legitimate business reason. I’ve had two places entirely clear out my desk when I’ve been hybrid because they had new folks joining and decided they needed the desk or when we decided I’d come in less frequently than I had been. It irritated me to no end, but I didn’t say anything because it was within their rights and nothing was obviously missing (I didn’t have a complete inventory of my stuff kept in the locked drawer the second time so I always had some nagging doubts).

  22. Pomodoro Sauce*

    LW 1’s issue reminded me of this description of Isabel Myers (of the Myers Briggs Personality Indicator) from “the Personality Brokers”.

    Sometimes she took advantage of the empty office to search the staff’s private files for data she suspected they were withholding from her. On nights when she reached for her thermos of tiger’s milk for sustenance, her intrusiveness was documented by the trail of sweet, sticky fingerprints she left in her wake.”

  23. workingdayandnight*

    I once waited around 3 hours for an interview for a woman I’ll call W. I had taken a 2 hour train ride into the city for it so I decided to keep waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And every time I asked the receptionist about it, I was told ‘she’s not ready yet.’ I eventually had the interview but didn’t get the job because, in W’s words, I wasn’t ‘forceful enough’ which it turned out went back to how long I waited. So W being late somehow hurt me and not her. The good news is it’s a small enough industry that I ended up working for a good friend of W’s. My boss told me she laughed her butt off when W told her I wasn’t ‘forceful enough’ and she told W I was the exact opposite of that. We had a great laugh over it which helped me let it go.

  24. And thanks for the coffee*

    #1 Boss goes through my things.
    I wouldn’t even let my spouse go through my purse. Not so much about what he might find, but I didn’t want things disorganized in the purse. I’d find it very boundary violating for my boss to have a look in or go through my purse.

    1. Freya*

      The things I know my husband might go through my handbag to find are all things I would want to grab quickly myself (like my keys, hand sanitiser, emergency allergy meds and puffer) so they’re deliberately in an outside pocket that you can just stick your hand in and immediately find. If he goes in the inside of that overstuffed thing, he will lose a hand, because if I can’t find it then it doesn’t exist.

  25. Resentful Oreos*

    Mika is being a ridiculous kidult. Bad haircuts happen, and it’s not the fault of your “inspiration” if what looked good on them didn’t look good on you. Nina didn’t hold a gun to Mika’s head and force her to the hair salon.

    I suspect there might be something deeper going on (Mika never liked Nina in the first place? Marriage problems?) with Mika, because her behavior seems so immature – Mika chose to cut her hair and is now blaming Nina for, I don’t know, being a bad fashion inspiration? – but whatever is going on, Mika needs to cut it out. Tell her that however she feels, hair will grow out, and in the meantime, she’s got to act like a mature adult at work.

  26. Gustavo*

    My old boss would go through EVERYONES offices after people left for the day or before they came in. It was so creepy! He finally was forced to retire and everyone breathes so much easier knowing their privacy isn’t violated every day. He did a lot of other very strange things but that was a big one.

  27. Elio*

    For the haircut drama, Mika needs to learn some personal responsibility. She’s allegedly a grown up and she choose to get a drastic hair cut and then choose to spend unreasonable amounts of money on a wig and hair growth vitamins. That’s her problem and so is the tension with her husband about her financial dishonesty.

    It’s really bad that Mika is blaming Nina for her choice to cut her hair to the point that Nina is job searching. That is something management needs to shut down.

Comments are closed.