update: colleague doesn’t wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom, and people are making it my problem

by Alison Green on December 16, 2024

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworker didn’t wash his hands after he using the bathroom and was pawing through the communal snacks (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update.

First of all, I’d like to apologise to the racoon population for comparing my colleague to that noble animal. Calling him a bin chicken might have revealed too much about my location.

Second, I found a solution which has pleased everyone — since the colleague in question had a strong preference for chocolate biscuits, I started adding individually wrapped mini-chocolate bars to our regular grocery order. It turns out that he likes these even more than chocolate biscuits, but now there’s enough sweet treats for everyone, and the biscuits are unsullied and safe to eat.

I wish I could say that someone in charge told the bin chicken to stop being disgusting and wash his hands, and he was so ashamed he became a model of hygiene. Alas, the world isn’t that perfect. On the other hand, thanks to the suggestions at AAM, a change in my own attitude, and a small upgrade to the kitchen facilities, the culture in my office is much improved, and one man is no longer ruining it for everyone. All we need now is for our fruit supplier to stop loading up our weekly fruit box with pears, and maybe throw in a citrus now and then, and then we’ll have achieved office kitchen perfection.

You may also like:
{ 84 comments }

{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }

    2. epicdemiologist*

      First time I’ve seen “cromulent” since the late, lamented Making Light shut down. *moment of silence*

      Reply ↓
  2. Bananas*

    A world where pears are the less desirable fruit… unfathomable!

    (Truly, I assumed bananas held that title worldwide.)

    Reply ↓
    1. KateM*

      I guess the problem is in “weekly”. Pears are often off before the week is over, so that weekly fruit box necessarily can’t be stretched over all week.

      Reply ↓
      1. Zona the Great*

        Man do I hate a melon! I’m a weirdo who doesn’t even really like watermelon too! I also agree with pears. Terrible fruit not even my horses will eat.

        Reply ↓
        3. ArchivesPony*

          I like the smell of Melon, and watermelon in particular is a absolute favorite scent of mine, but I really really dislike the taste. And I’ll only eat watermelon if it’s perfectly crisp but it rarely is so I don’t care for it.

          Reply ↓
      4. ZSD*

        I also dislike melon, and I strongly resent how often “seasonal fruit cup” means “cantaloupe, honeydew, and one purple grape.”

        (See also: “seasonal” vegetable medleys somehow always containing broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots.)

        Reply ↓
        2. In Florida, Strawberries Are a Winter Crop*

          I love melon and agree that “seasonal fruit cup” should not include those things when they’re not actually in season. Same for those steamed veggies; at least they freeze well, but the melons have to be trucked/shipped in from a hemisphere away much of the year.

          Reply ↓
        3. Nobby Nobbs*

          And zucchini and squash! Seasonal vegetables always seem to be mushy zucchini and squash, maybe with a sad, lonely slice of carrot thrown in for color.

          Reply ↓
      5. Resentful Oreos*

        I like watermelon, but that’s it. No honeydew and absolutely no cantaloupe. I hate the smell of cantaloupe, let alone the taste! And melon is *everywhere* in fruit platters. Sometimes I think fruit platters are just a way to get rid of unwanted melon.

        Reply ↓
        1. Goldfeesh*

          I hate how cantaloupe and watermelon will be mixed together, thereby ruining the watermelon. Ick! At least honeydew tastes like nothing and doesn’t inflict its flavor on innocent watermelon.

          Reply ↓
      6. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

        I hate all melons. Every few years, I try them again, just to be certain (tastes do change, after all) and the last time I tried them again, I got a fruit cup with an assortment of melons. The look on my face when I ate a piece caused our waitress to run over to the table and demand I tell her what sort of fruit I’d prefer. I told her it was on me- this was the day I was testing my melon hatred and had nothing to do with the establishment. I ended up with a bowl of orange slices and was very happy.

        I also dislike pears- it must be the texture, though I enjoy apples. Bananas are lovely (banana flavoring not so much).

        Reply ↓
      7. Clisby*

        Oh, I doubt it. I love watermelon, but canteloupe is foul. Honeydew is meh, but not as bad as canteloupe, which, once cut, smells like a rotting corpse and unless relentlessly plastic-wrapped, imparts that odor to anything else in the refrigerator.

        Reply ↓
      8. Ally McBeal*

        You may be biased but you’re certainly not alone! I find most melons gross. I tried growing a couple last year but they were stolen* right when they ripened so I have no idea if they were any good.

        *Etiquette question: In a community garden, is it stealing if you had absolutely no hand in growing or tending the plants at any point? Or is it fair game because it’s a “community” garden?

        Reply ↓
    3. Fanna-fo-fanna*

      How dare you diss bananas! My favorite fruit! Everyone in my house consumes a banana per day to stave off leg cramps.

      Reply ↓
      1. Goldenrod*

        Leg cramps??? Do tell! My household goes through a ton of bananas on the daily too…we don’t even have a pet monkey.

        Reply ↓
        1. fhqwhgads*

          Potassium helps with the cramps. That’s often while you’ll see tennis players eating a banana on a changeover. If you watch tennis.

          Reply ↓
      2. Samwise*

        Get the little bananas (not a small Cavendish, a finger banana or another variety that’s small when it’s full-sized). A better portion size and delicious.

        Reply ↓
    4. Yods*

      This is hilarious to me. When our biweekly? office fruitbasket arrives everyone immediately grabs a banana while they still can, and there is always a bunch of (mostly) citrus left at the bottom.

      I wish we could make a kind of map of favourite office fruit worldwide.

      Reply ↓
    5. comice pears are my favorite*

      Most people’s least favorite fruit seems to be informed by whether it’s local or not (of it’s not local it’s going to be worse in quality, or optimized more for ship-ability than taste), and whether they have the patience to fully ripen it (why do caterers insist on serving unripe fruit??).

      Reply ↓
      1. Strive to Excel*

        Less waste that way. Easier to buy a bunch of unripe fruit and let it ripen, knowing that it’ll be on the tough side, than to buy ripe fruit and have it all spoil.

        Reply ↓
        2. Resentful Oreos*

          LOL, I had to go look up what a bin chicken was! And I laughed because Australia has bin chickens, and we have trash pandas (raccoons)!

          Reply ↓
          1. Brisvegan*

            Closer in size to a goose, but less murdery.

            They have long beaks for better rubbish sorting. They are far more likely to actively get into a public rubbish bin than a pigeon. They are also less likely to steal the chips from your hand than a seagull. Due to their penchant for sorting through bins, they are perceived as dirtier than pigeons or seagulls, which perception probably underestimates the grossness of pigeons and overestimates the filth of the poor bin chicken.

            Reply ↓
        4. Kit*

          Yeah, rather like the concept of an emu parade, I’m afraid some local terms have just not made it into mainstream non-antipodean cognizance yet. Despite their being wonderful.

          Reply ↓
  5. ZSD*

    I wish I lived in a workplace where they ordered us fruit and treats every week!

    Also, I went to college with someone whose parents had taught him to only wash his hands after going #2, not after #1. So that’s what he did, and knowing that disgusted me to no end.

    Reply ↓
    1. Charlotte Lucas*

      I worked with someone who did that. Her logic behind it was suspect at best.

      Luckily, she always washed her hands at work, because she knew that people would talk otherwise.

      Reply ↓
      1. Foot Flusher*

        Urine is sterile. At least that’s what I repeated to myself over and over after I dropped my keys in a porta-loo and had to reach it to retrieve them. (I was the first user and had only urinated)

        But, bathrooms and all the surfaces inside can have germs on them, and thus why we wash our hands, dry, and then don’t touch surfaces on the way out. (Foot opening of door, etc)

        Reply ↓
        1. Archi-detect*

          or life is just dirty and bodily functions is a nice interval for when hands need a clean. I think bathrooms may actually cleaner because of the focus on it and making everything a hard surface that gets cleaned regularly over things like keyboards and phones

          Reply ↓
          1. ferrina*

            If nothing else, it really is a good reminder to regularly wash your hands.
            If you’ve ever seen a simulation of how germs spread in a communal space (I’ve seen a couple of germs spreading in a classroom), it’s terrifying. Washing hands regularly is important, even if your hands were magically not at all dirtied by using the toilet, just wash them to get rid of all the other things you touch (doorknobs, elevator buttons, communal pens, the printer, etc.).

            Reply ↓
            1. It’s me!*

              Exactly! Frankly there are times when I wash my hands BEFORE I use the restroom, like when I get off the subway, just finished working out in gym, etc.

              Reply ↓
          2. CV*

            Yes. I think the studies are that one’s kitchen sponge (and associated areas) are the truly disgusting surfaces in a home.

            Reply ↓
        2. RabbitRabbit*

          It’s not actually sterile, but at least it’s better if it’s only yours? Maybe?

          (Ideally it’s very low in germs when in your bladder but all bets are off once it comes out, and it’s a very good medium for bacteria after that point.)

          Reply ↓
        3. Riley*

          Urine is only sterile when it is in the bladder (and not always then). Since it exits the body through a non-sterile opening, it is not sterile once it’s outside the body.

          Reply ↓
      2. RVA Cat*

        Somehow it’s nastier for a man to not wash after #1 as it’s more “hands on” with body parts (and possible STIs).

        Reply ↓
    2. Criminally Competent*

      Do you work with my husband?

      Yes, we’ve been married over 20 years and I haven’t gotten him to change this disgusting habit.

      Reply ↓
    3. Wayward Sun*

      I had a friend like that. He believed that washing your hands disrupted the natural bacteria on your skin and made you more likely to get sick.

      Reply ↓
  6. Former Lab Rat*

    “Bin Chicken” has now been added to my vocabulary to describe anyone lacking in basic hygiene and table manners. Too bad higher ups didn’t step up and enforce basic decency.
    If I was present in the break room I’d be inclined to march over to the snack basket and leave a big note: Warning – X has pawed through these treats with unwashed hands after he came out of the loo.

    Remember the poster who wrote in about a coworker that helped himself at potlucks by just dipping his bare hands into the food? The poster was bringing in a salad one day and he reached into the bowl as she was coming in the door to grab a taste – with bare hands of course.

    Maybe the two are brothers separated at birth. I’m pretty sure they are single.

    Reply ↓
    1. fhqwhgads*

      I can’t tell if you’re saying you’ve decided to use “bin chicken” as a euphemism for people lacking in basic hygiene or if you think that’s what it means? But it’s Australian for ibis.

      Reply ↓
      1. Former Lab Rat*

        Euphemism – that’s why I said use to describe…. But I do have a hilarious mental image of ill mannered coworkers at feeding time. I

        Reply ↓
    2. NotRealAnonForThis*

      I have had a (male) coworker friend gently redirect my hand, discretely, to keep me out of a tray that the resident disgusting non-washing human being (also male) was pawing through.

      Reply ↓
    2. BethRA*

      Australian White Ibis – according to wikipedia:

      “The birds have also come to be regarded as a problem species in Victoria as a result of their scavenging activities, scattering rubbish from tips and bins in the process, and earning the widespread nickname “bin chicken”. They are even known to snatch sandwiches from picnickers.”

      (I wanted to look it up before I used it as an insult)

      Reply ↓
            1. BinChicken*

              Confirming tip = garbage dump in Australian. (A dumpster might be referred to as a “skip” but I think skips are lidless. Every job I’ve worked at that has dumpsters just referred to them as the “outside bin”!)

              Reply ↓
      2. Resentful Oreos*

        Snatching sandwiches from picnickers – like seagulls in the US will try and do as well, or snatch a bag of fries out of your hand (as happened to me one year).

        Reply ↓
        1. MigraineMonth*

          My dad visited Alaska and went on a wildlife viewing bus tour through Denali National Park. Near the end of the tour, some of the Americans expressed disappointment that they hadn’t seen any Bald Eagles. So the bus tour ended by swinging through the local town dump, where they watched a dozen of our majestic national birds eat garbage.

          Reply ↓
  9. Zona the Great*

    I quit my last job in part because boss didn’t wash his hands after the toilet. I know many people we interact with don’t wash their hands yet we continue on living well while not knowing. But because we worked in a tiny office with one shared bathroom, I could hear every sound and knew that he didn’t even wash his hands after a….

    Then knowing he’d use the shared ice machine, eat out of the candy bowl, go out to lunch with us, I began looking in earnest.

    Reply ↓
  10. RCB*

    If I worked there and was planning to give my two week notice, the very last staff meeting (or whatever equivalent type meeting that had the most number of people in it including myself and the Bin Chicken) I was in, there would be absolutely no way I wouldn’t take the floor and address the issue right there in front of everyone and ask this guy how, despite it being brought up by several people that it is disgusting an unsanitary, how he thought it was appropriate to not only not wash his hands after going to the bathroom but how he also thought it was appropriate to touch all of the snacks with his gross, unwashed hands, and ask what his plans were to once and for all fix his disgusting behavior, and absolutely be steadfast in demanding an answer from him while I am sure everyone sat there with “OMG this is awkward but I also want to see this play out because it’s about damn time someone addressed this!” look on their faces. Let him squirm, let management squirm, let HR squirm, let everyone be uncomfortable, this grown man is disgusting and a first grader would behave better.

    Reply ↓
    1. Zona the Great*

      While I am right there with you in spirit, I do want to say I once witnessed something similar: A woman loudly called out another woman on our floor for not washing her hands before leaving the bathroom. The poor woman had to say in front of everyone that she had very severe dermatitis and that she could only use the extremely harsh soap-free chemical stuff she kept at her desk. While I don’t think this guy has a good reason like this, I wouldn’t get in the habit of calling out our peers like this.

      Reply ↓
      1. MigraineMonth*

        Yeah, if you’re willing to call someone out, at least have a conversation with the offending party first.

        Remember, the issue in this letter isn’t that the coworker hasn’t adjusted their behavior after being asked multiple times to wash their hands and to stop touching all the biscuits. The issue is that the coworker is being disgusting and is senior enough that no one is comfortable asking them to stop.

        Reply ↓
  11. Resentful Oreos*

    Of course I had to look up what a “bin chicken” was and laughed! Australia has ibises, we have “trash pandas” aka raccoons in the US! I guess wherever we go, there is some species who thinks that our garbage cans are their gourmet delis.

    But good solution for your disgusting coworker. This way he won’t contaminate the candy dish. In theory, a communal candy dish is a great idea, but in practice, with Bin Chicken and Trash Panda coworkers who don’t follow basic hygiene, I wonder how gross they really are. I will certainly think twice about dipping into a candy dish!

    Reply ↓
    1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

      I believe there’s a minor-league sports team in the US with a raccoon mascot who held a fan competition to pick a new team name, and they settled on “Trash Pandas”.

      Reply ↓
      2. epicdemiologist*

        That would be the Rocket City Trash Pandas in Huntsville, AL. Their mascot is a raccoon in a rocket-powered trash can. “Rocket City” because Huntsville is home to the US Space and Rocket Center.

        Reply ↓
  12. Sunflower*

    I’m not sure the setup, but I’d be grossed out with a bowl of individually wrapped treats. He may still be touching and picking through the candy and taint the wrappers that others will take.

    Reply ↓
  13. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    Dirty disgusting inconsiderate behaviour which would irritate me far more than BO.
    If a manager would talk to him about a BO problem, why not about a hygiene problem affecting coworkers?

    Reply ↓
  14. Oh Boy*

    I had an office across the hall from a single use bathroom. Within a month I knew exactly who washed and who did not. I never partook in the communal lunch once this informal survey was done. Only one washed and he was a pretentious Jenny, who just ate what others provided and never cooked.

    Reply ↓
  15. Nanc*

    Send your poor, despondent unwanted pears my way so that I may turn them into a pear and Gruyere tart or poach them with wine and cinnamon or bake them with hazelnuts and drizzle them with caramel or stew them with ginger and lemon or bake them into a pie because pear pie is better than apple pie.
    Full disclosure: I live in pear country in the PNW.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Comment

Before you comment: Please be kind, stay on-topic, and follow the site's commenting rules.
You can report an ad, tech, or typo issue here.

Subscribe to all comments on this post by RSS