update: my patronizing coworker interrupts meetings to explain basic things to me

by Alison Green on December 11, 2024

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose patronizing coworker kept interrupting meetings to explain basic things to her? Here’s the update.

I wrote last year about my insufferable coworker “Craig” who habitually interrupted meetings to Craig-splain basic concepts to me. I have a two-part update:

1. Your response to my letter was very helpful in making me see just how blatantly obnoxious this behavior was and that I shouldn’t just be enduring it. The reader comments were very supportive and offered a lot of great retorts to Craig’s blatherings, which I harvested and kept in a file on my phone so I could deploy them as needed. But I also finally went to upper management about the pattern. I believe somebody did bring Craig to a reckoning, as the frequency of the incidents drastically decreased, which was great — although I was slightly disappointed to never get to use most of the suggested replies.

2. Some months later, I got a repeat call from an annoying recruiter, about a position in which I had no interest. The recruiter kept telling me the position was very prestigious, would gain me a lot of respect in my field, class up my resume, etc. It was a not-great role, at a company type I avoid, in a location at which I don’t want to work … and it suddenly dawned on me who would actually be flattered by this sales pitch! I sicced the recruiter on Craig (just gave him Craig’s contact info, absolutely no praise or endorsement of any sort), and soon Craig was off to this dubiously-prestigious new job. I feel a little guilty for inflicting him on his new coworkers. Maybe I should anonymously forward them the list of Craig-diffusing meeting interruption retorts.

Thanks to you and your readers.

You may also like:
{ 114 comments }

{ 114 comments… read them below }

    3. Snark*

      I was getting all disappointed that Craig didn’t get all the sick burns dropped on him, and then OP casually notes that she blew him out an airlock sans helmet. Absolute perfection.

    1. December Already*

      I love this saying! I’m gonna repeat this to myself when i can’t stand the people I’m around….

  5. WantonSeedStitch*

    Getting rid of an irritating and condescending coworker by getting them a new job? That’s the kind of chaotic good we need in this world!

    1. Emotional support capybara (he/him)*

      And getting rid of an irritating recruiter in the process! A++++ would LOL again.

    1. MigraineMonth*

      As much as I love the poetry of the second part, I really want to give LW kudos for part one. Going to upper management about the sexist bloviator was a big step, and it sounds like it did a lot of good. I’m sure all your colleagues (and particularly the female-presenting ones) benefitted from him no longer derailing meetings for his mansplaining.

      1. learnedthehardway*

        Kudos to upper management as well, for dealing with the issue and shutting Craig down. That’s really the kind of change we need to see in the world!

      2. Sara without an H*

        +1. Kudos to the LW and also to her senior management. They recognized the problem and (gasp!) handled it.

      3. Observer*

        As much as I love the poetry of the second part, I really want to give LW kudos for part one.

        Very much this!

        1. Where’s the Orchestra?*

          Can I be petty and hope that he is forever getting shut down with his bloviating detours at new job?

          But also – yay for management for shutting him down as much as possible at old job before he got “headhunted” away.

    2. ferrina*

      Yes, this is perfect in every way! I’m so glad that going to upper management helped, and siccing the recruiter on Craig is just too perfect for words. Legend!

  10. Yes Anastasia*

    This is like if Lizzie Bennet had somehow been the one to get Mr. Collins his position with Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

    3. Throwaway Account*

      Well, Lizzie did accidentally get him his wife!
      And sadly, Mr. Collins will “fail upwards” in life/career.

      1. StarTrek Nutcase*

        Unfortunately, most things in life are a meritocracy – more of a nepotismic (sic) “shit floats” ‘cracy.

  11. Don't Send Your Kids to Hudson University*

    This is the sort of poetic conclusion I love to see during update season!

  13. Ama*

    Honestly a company with an overinflated sense of their own prestige sounds like the perfect match for Craig.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        And boy, do I hope there’s a Craig there who Craig-splains to Craig for the next eight years. After all, he’s the new guy, right?

        3. LaurCha*

          Y’all. Once you decide to get past the annoyance, watching two bloviating dudes mansplain *at each other* is absolutely hilarious.

          1. TeaCoziesRUs*

            hence the popcorn factor of most TV “news” (aka opinion) shows with “experts” blathering on about something or another?

      1. Firefighter (Metaphorical)*

        I’m totally hearing that comment in Matt Berry’s voice and it’s the only thing that could have made this perfect update even better

      1. TeaCoziesRUs*

        Preferably one who is going through or past menopause… former hippies with no Fs to give are among my favorite women.

        1. Gen X Karen*

          Plenty of us post-hippie folks are in that “zero F’s to give” stage. I would love one of my Gen X sisters to be putting him in his place.

  19. Rey*

    This is my favorite kind of update! As far as I’m concerned, these people always end up working for the nominees for “worst boss of the year”.

  20. Person from the Resume*

    THIS is a very very great update.

    1) Sounds like management did their job and actually got him to change his behavior.

    2) You then went the extra mile and created the scenario for him to leave your company.

    So awesome!

    1. KateM*

      After some earlier updates, I was thinking if I dare to read this one or not and wished that there was a tag to hint what was to come. So yeah, much better than I dared to hope for!

    1. Hlao-roo*

      I’m pretty sure he did take the new job! The LW wrote:

      soon Craig was off to this dubiously-prestigious new job. I feel a little guilty for inflicting him on his new coworkers.

      I think the “new job” with “new coworkers” is the job the recruiter was looking to fill.

    1. epicdemiologist*

      In the immortal words of GLaDOS, “You’re someone else’s problem, now I only want you gone.”

  26. Sheik YurBooti*

    Relieved your company of Craig and got a recruiter (who will keep you on their good list) their bonus. Well done.

  31. Lalitah*

    I love this update! It’s not evil – not a step below Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light level.

  42. Ms. Elaneous*

    Congrats, LW — nice move!
    and I did look back at the original comments — just to have on hand in case I ever encounter a Craig.
    I will add a Last Resort (not nearly as clever as the recruiter dig),

    Craig – you have no information we need.
    We do not just Love the sound of your voice. You are not Bob Edwards, you are not James Earl Jones. Button it up.

  43. Czhorat*

    Not only did LW get rid of Craig, but this is a lesson about recruitment: questionable tactics will get you questionable candidates.

    2. Venus*

      I was thinking the same. I’d feel badly if Craig was going to an excellent company, but a bad company who can only convince a bad recruiter to work for them… probably has a bunch of people like Craig already and hopefully all the good people know to stay away!

  47. Metadata Janktress*

    YAY, I was hoping we’d get an update on this. Out of curiosity, which ones did you get to use?

  48. Resentful Oreos*

    This update just made my day. Thank you, LW. Send the obnoxious to recruit away the obnoxious!

    1. Lizabeth*

      And would you be able to find out anything on how Craig is doing at the new job? Curious minds want to know!

  63. Awesome Sauce*

    “I feel a little guilty for inflicting him on his new coworkers. Maybe I should anonymously forward them the list of Craig-diffusing meeting interruption retorts.”

    And thus, I die. (of laughter.) Incredible.

  67. whimbrel*

    I smiled like that one gif from early seasons of Survivor, where the two women are shocked and have their hands up to their face and the tall dude in the back just slowly breaks into this enormous grin. :D

    Superb work, OP!

Comments are closed.