{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    The weekend posts are for relatively light discussion — think office break room — and comments should ask questions and/or seek to discuss ideas. “Here’s what happened to me today” personal-blog-style posts will be removed (because they got out of control in the past). We also can’t do medical advice here.

    These threads are no politics.

    Please give the full rules a re-read.

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  2. sarah*

    Reading thread! Say what you’re reading / ask for and give book recommendations!

    I’ve been on an Agatha Christie binge. What are your favorite more contemporary mysteries?

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    3. Jackalope*

      I’m reading Night Flyer by Tiya Miles. It’s a biography of Harriet Tubman and I’m really loving it. The author is honest about the bad stuff re slavery, but also about many of the good things in her life, and she tries to paint HT as a heroic ordinary person rather than a superhero. I’ve been enjoying it a lot and highly recommend it.

      I also read How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying by Django Wexler. It’s entertaining and made me laugh several times, while also taking itself seriously enough not to be just silly. The main character has spent hundreds of lives over and over trying to save the world and failing each time, losing to the Dark Lord. She finally decides to join the winning side and become the Dark Lord herself.

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    5. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      I read Scotty Bowers’s memoir, *Full Service*, about his time as an (unpaid, or so he says) pimp to the Hollywood stars from the late 1940s on. Content warning for descriptions of child sexual assault and child sex work (both in Scotty’s own history–he seems remarkably unbothered by what happened to him as a child), and for certain stars, the author gets pretty detailed about what they did and didn’t like in bed.

      It certainly was interesting, and I read it in one night. Bowers comes off as a fairly likable but very self-involved narcissist. He admits a lot of his flaws without ever seeming terribly sorry about them. At the time he wrote the book, he was 89 years old and still in demand as a bartender for Hollywood parties. He died at 96 after a long and apparently very happy life. Go figure.

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    6. Tradd*

      Sue Grafton’s Alphabet series (she died before it was completed)

      Sara Paretsky’s VI Warshawsky books set in Chicago

      The Inspector Lynley series by Elizabeth George

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    7. Mobie's Mom Now*

      P.J. Tracy has a couple series I really like, the Monkeewrench series set in the Twin Cities, and the Maggie Nolan series set in LA. I read the Monkeewrench series several years ago and just found the newer ones today, so that’s exciting!

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    8. Bertha Rochester Likes Fire*

      I have really enjoyed the Her Royal Spyness series by Rhys Bowen. They’re set in the 1930s and are a fun little romp!

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    9. Falling Diphthong*

      Donna Andrews’ bird mysteries are the ones I buy in hardcover on the release date. I enjoy both the mysteries and that she leaned into the sense of community.

      I also recommend her 4 book “You’ve Got Murder” series, with an AI sleuth.

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    3. Sparkly Librarian*

      My kid, who is five, has been making adorable pronouncements that make me laugh aloud.

      “Mama, can I have a hug? You know, it’s a family tradition to give kids hugs if they ask.”

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      1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

        Aw! I’m not even a kid person and I give kids hugs if they ask. (Assuming they are kids I know or their parents are at least near enough to express if they’re not ok with it.)

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    4. Six Feldspar*

      It took until 1am, but I finished the Christmas decorations for my family (first gifting is today) and I’m riding the crafting high!

      I am also solemnly swearing never to knit with embroidery floss ever again…

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    5. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      I went to a big box store to get some emergency t-shirts, and I found one with Bessie Coleman on it and one with Maya Angelou on it!

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        1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

          Seriously! : ) I used to live in Oakland back in the ’90s, and she was prominently featured in one of the historical displays at one of the Bay Area airports — one of the great Black women aviators!

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    6. Catagorical*

      I was going to miss going to visit a friend due to sudden brake warning light on my car. (Really scared me) Mechanic said it was ok to drive for a while, so got all the work done a week later.

      And then my friend decided to go pay for the repair as a gift! (A lot needed replacing, but just worn out)

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    7. Le le lemon*

      I heard Duke Ellington’s Solitude on the radio, as I was driving somewhere. Mind blowing; main character moment; beautifully, beautifully orchestrated. Moody, stunning, amazing. I’m still thinking about it.

      Type ‘Solitude Neeme Jarvi & the Detroit Symphony Orchestra” into Youtube. I believe it’s an orchestration? I’m happily down a rabbit hole.

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  4. 653-CXK*

    “We r undah the tri, weytin fur Sandta Klaws. Nao, not thuh gueye wif thuh whyte beerd an thuh beeg tummie, the kat hoo komz in uh raycing kur and gihvs us kitteh tois and katnip.”

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  6. Six Feldspar*

    If you’ve spent a seasonal holiday in the opposite season, how did it feel?

    My story: A few years ago I got to spend Christmas in Scotland (backpacking, working at a local restaurant, owners invited me to their Christmas and to look after their cats). It was a fantastic time, everyone was lovely and I didn’t feel homesick – but it did feel very weird to have Christmas food in winter, snow on the ground, no summer fruit or cricket on in the background, etc etc. My brain was convinced this set up was not right! I thought after all the years of trying to make traditional Christmas food work in Australian summer it would be great, but it was also a trip to the uncanny valley!

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    1. ThatGirl*

      We live near Chicago (so, cold Christmases) but spent a couple years in south Florida for Christmas. It’s still winter but much warmer, and it was odd to swim and go to the beach on Christmas Eve.

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    2. Bluebell Brenham*

      I once spent Christmas Day on the beach in Miami. I’m not a Christmas observer but it was still a fun change.

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  7. SuprisinglyADHD*

    What is a really nice edition of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?
    The only thing my brother asked for Christmas is a nice bookshelf-worthy but also reading-friendly set of the three. I’m looking for Hardcover and NOT with the movie artwork. Does anyone know/have a really nice edition that I can search for?

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    1. Catagorical*

      Not specifically, but Tolkien himself did some super charming illustrations and I wonder if you could search for editions with the author’s own artwork.

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      1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

        There are a couple of really nice Tolkien illustrated versions on Amazon – the only thing that would give me pause about the hardcover versions is that I think most of them are a single volume omnibus, which looks lovely but does not (IMO) lend itself well to reading, because it’s a monstrous doorstop of a book to contain all three volumes.

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        1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

          The Juniper sets are gorgeous, but quite spendy, depending on your budget. Then on the other hand, for real portability combined with cost-effectiveness, there’s a hard bound pocket size set that looks quite nice (albeit small) for $35, at which point you can also include a magnifier or a nice set of reading glasses :)

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    2. Lissajous*

      My mum got me a Folio Society set for Christmas when I was 10; 30 years later I still have them, and they are still beautiful (and read several times!).

      They’d probably be postal order though, so your timing may not work.

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    3. Missa Brevis*

      If it’s in your budget, Folio Society books are absolutely gorgeous and also very readable! Every single detail is well-considered in terms of both the visual design and the construction. My FS copy of Black Beauty is one of my prized possessions.

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  8. Le le lemon*

    Solo time/holiday food delights

    I get to spend Christmas morning by myself; joyous. I’m thinking about what I can bake/eat that’ll just be a delicious start to the day. I forsee mango (and maybe fruit salad), perhaps a little sweet baked treat. Just something nice for myself.

    What would you eat? What are your treats in moments of solitude? Or when you’ve snuck away from the family to go on that errand/walk?

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    1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      My happy just-me snack is a plate of sliced smoked sausage and cheddar cheese with those flipside pretzel-y crackers.

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  9. Jackalope*

    Gaming thread! Share what you’ve been playing and give or request recs. As always, all games are welcome, not just video games.

    My spouse and I just played a fun little video game this week called Never Alone. It’s a 2-person puzzle game based on an Inupiaq legend, where one person plays a little girl and the other person plays her friend the fox. The graphics were beautiful and we had a lot of fun figuring things out together. The only thing I didn’t like was that the controllers weren’t always as sensitive as I needed them to be. Note that you can play solo but my spouse tried and said it wasn’t nearly as much fun. Both characters have individual abilities and they have to rely on each other, which means that if you play solo you have to switch back and forth. From what I saw playing together, that would probably happen several times per scene. But as a duo we had a wonderful time.

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    1. AnReAr*

      I’ve played that one! To note for others, it’s also narrated by actual Inupiaq storytellers in their language (with subtitles for us who don’t understand the language). It’s a great game, and actually made by the tribe. There’s also lots of bonus content in the form of informational videos on the culture from the people who made the game, including the storytellers.

      Currently I’ve been switching between Fae Farm, Palia, and Planet Crafter since I’m off work until the new year for the holidays. The first two are fantasy life sims with non binary character creation, queer friendliness, and Palia is actually an MMO with a lovely player base. Planet Crafter is a resource crafter where you survive and terraform a planet from its surface (think Subnautica, on an initially unliveable planet with no life).

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  10. RMNPgirl*

    How to start liking coffee?

    I’ve never like the taste of coffee, I love the smell but can’t stand the taste. Even in things like coffee ice cream. So this might end up being a moot question. But, I would like to develop a taste if possible. Mainly because I see so many flavor profiles people create with coffee that I would like without the underlying coffee taste. So I was hoping there would be way to get myself to like it so I could enjoy those drinks. There are just so many more options if you like coffee. I currently drink tea which I love but it is a bit limiting.

    Any suggestions are welcome!

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    1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      Maybe you could try a coffee-flavored candy like Hopjes and see if that’s a way in?

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    2. Tradd*

      Coffee straight is too bitter for me, so cream/milk and sugar. The way I drink my tea. I have plebian tastes in coffee. I’m quite happy with McD’s coffee. It’s cheap and readily available. I don’t make coffee at home. All tea here.

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    3. Clara Bowe*

      It might be worth it to try a cold brew latte? I hate the acidity of coffee – it compounds the unpleasant bitterness for me – but cold brew reduces that by a large margin. Also Morgan Eckroth on YouTube has a bunch of “how to up your coffee game” or coffees drinks for people who don’t like coffee.

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    4. Missa Brevis*

      I’d starting by figuring out exactly what about coffee taste you don’t like. For me, it’s the bitterness that I can’t stand, so I can tolerate some cold brew or coffee ice cream. Some folks hate the ‘burnt’ flavor, and would be better off trying lighter roasts of coffee. Different solutions for different problems.

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    5. BRR*

      Coffee lover here. Is there something specific about the taste you don’t like? There are some light roasts out there that taste like a coffee/tea hybrid. They might be a good place to start getting your palette used to the taste.

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  11. Life Resets At 65*

    What is it like restarting your love life after 65? I’m happy being single and haven’t dated in over 40 years. It looks like someone is interested in me and he seems really nice, but I’m not sure if we have enough in common. Would common values balance out an athletic activity mismatch? He’s very active in sports and I’m not, and I don’t see that changing.

    Have you started a romance after 65 and how did it work out?

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  12. SuprisinglyADHD*

    Was there ever any merchandise made for The Christmas Chronicles (2019)? My mom has a crush on Kurt Russel and collects Santa figurines, dolls, statues, pictures, you name it! I can’t find any sort of Kurt Russel Santa stuff besides replicas of his outfit (which is wonderful but not something she would want).
    Alternatively, she would love a real, soft, warm Santa hat with a nice lining and velvety feel. All I’ve been able to find for years are lightweight, scratchy, novelty hats.
    (Sorry for the multiple posts, my whole family is waaay late on our Christmas shopping)

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  13. Scorpion singer*

    I’m looking for advice on friendship. There’s a coworker who I chat with daily who is a few decades older than me (I’m late 20s, she’s early 50s), and I want to take the next step in deepening our friendship. I’ve asked her to hang out outside of work twice in the last few months (getting coffee after work, going for a weekend hike), and both times she has enthusiastically accepted and we’ve had a lovely time! Although I’m getting lots of clear positive signals that she enjoys spending time with me, she hasn’t done any of the asking to hang out and I worry that maybe she doesn’t actually like my company because she doesn’t propose anything. But she is also pretty shy (and has described herself as such), so that may be part of her hesitation. Any advice for deepening the friendship while making sure it’s something we both want?

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  14. Anon Poster*

    Anyone have particularly strong feelings about over-the-ear noise canceling headphones? I’m looking to get a pair, but I don’t know how to choose a brand! I care most about comfort and battery life. I don’t anticipate using the noise canceling all that often, mostly just on planes. I obviously want them to sound good, but “good” is relative and I’m easy to please there. I would use them often while walking, so I’m looking for something that stays put without having to fuss with it too much. If you have brands you love or brands you hate, I’m all ears!

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