coworker’s “people I need to hit” list, director sent around a photo of my messy desk, and more

by Alison Green on January 2, 2025

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives.

1. I saw a coworker’s “people I need to hit” list

In a meeting last week, my coworker Tony shared his screen while his OneNote was still visible and the title of the first note (minimized on the side) was “People I Need to Hit.” It was just him and me in the meeting, and I only saw the note title, and I’m sure he doesn’t realize I saw it.

I didn’t say anything to Tony, but mentioned it to my coworker Carmela later in the day. Tony has been reprimanded for being very defensive and verbally aggressive in meetings (nothing outrageous, just notably confrontational and unprofessional, such as saying, “I don’t even know why your department exists, we don’t need it” to Carmela’s boss). Carmela thought the OneNote was a hilarious example of his unnecessary aggression. We even joked that the title might’ve been cut off and was actually just a list of people he needs to hit up for money and that he’s a secret loan shark.

However, when I told my boyfriend, Paulie, the same story at home, he was appalled. Paulie is encouraging me to go to HR and tell them what I saw and is convinced that the “People I Need to Hit” list is a precursor to workplace violence. I don’t agree, and I have sometimes taken frustration out in note titles myself (naming a doc “Stupid 7am Meeting” to capture my meeting notes, for example) just for personal amusement. But I value Paulie’s judgment and maybe he has a good perspective as an outsider, vs. Carmela and myself who think of Tony as just an eye-rolling example of an annoying and tone-deaf coworker (he’s not even the most annoying or tone-deaf person we work with on a day-to-day basis). Am I under-reacting? Is my boyfriend overreacting?

Since you’re the person who interacts with Tony, you’re the one best positioned to know if it’s something to be alarmed by or not. I suspect he’s not keeping an list of people he actually plans to injure in some way … but it’s certainly a commentary on his stance toward colleagues. If you’re really worried, you could mention to Tony’s boss, saying that it was so jarring to see that you felt you should mention it. But I also think that if your vibe is that it’s nothing, this isn’t so alarming that you need to escalate it regardless of that.

– 2019

2. My director sent around a photo of my messy desk

I am from South America and work as a programmer in Sweden. Our director is always asking everybody to keep our office clean, and I strongly agree that many people need to learn how to not leave dirty cups all around the tables. Sometimes I myself organize and clean some messy shared spaces.

My own desk has two screens, a cable adapter hub, a laptop, a big keyboard, and a special game mouse — which are my work tools but make a lot of cables. I really struggle trying to organize my own cables and they never look 100% neat. I am very sensitive to it. I also have a notebook, a pen, and a Swedish grammar book on my desk, since Swedish is my fourth language and I am still learning it.

So, today the director was really pissed about messy and dirty desks (some tables with rotten food and dozens of dirty cups) and took pictures of them. She posted the pictures in a private Facebook group with everyone who works in the office (about 40 people) and wrote “clean your desks.” I was shocked and surprised to see my desk in one of the pictures — the only picture which identifies the owner (because of the screens and the grammar book). All the other pictures were focused on specific objects, not the entire desks, so we were not able to identify them. I am super uncomfortable and thinking about what I should do about it. I am feeling very badly treated. Should I open it to everyone? If yes, how?

Nah, let it go. It sounds like it was more of a group-shaming and I doubt any of your coworkers think it was a shot specifically fired at you. (And your desk doesn’t even sound particularly bad. Cables are a pretty normal part of many desks.) Other people may feel they were singled out because they recognized their mug or something. Your manager is just making a point about how people need to be neater; it doesn’t sound like it’s personal or something to feel bad about.

– 2016

3. Am I editing documents too heavily?

I am a new-ish program associate at a state agency. I know that they hired me in part because of my English degree, as part of my duties are that I edit official correspondence that our coordinators write on behalf of the secretary’s and governor’s offices. I enjoy editing and at one point had considered doing it professionally, though I haven’t yet been able to find a position I’m qualified for. In the meantime, I feel that this editing thing is also getting me in trouble.

Today, my supervisor brought me a document that had multiple authors that we were to be sending out to the counties and asked me to look it over and suggest changes. When she came back 40 minutes later and saw the mark-up (pointing out awkward sentences, suggesting reformatting when links and locations are delivered inconsistently, pointing out inconsistent oxford comma usage, etc), she seemed perplexed and almost offended. She said something about how she probably wouldn’t use some of the changes and that she’d been letting some things slide because of the multiple authors. I tried to assure her that I understood that/that I know that that’s part of editing, but the exchange still left me feeling odd and like I’d somehow disappointed her despite literally doing what was asked.

While it’s the first time this has happened in a document of this size, it’s not the first time I’ve gotten this impression. Am I doing something wrong here? Is there a different level of acceptable editing for this “last looks” sort of thing? Should I only point out when things are genuinely unreadable instead of a little confusing/inconsistently formatted? How should I be approaching this editing situation without stepping on anyone’s toes?

There are a bunch of different types of editing that a coworker might ask for: There’s thorough proofreading, there’s “take a look at this and see if anything glaring jumps out at you,” there’s “see if you can improve the flow of the writing,” there’s “flag anything that’s not accurate,” and probably more that I’m not thinking of. It sounds like you assumed your boss wanted something more thorough than she actually did.

Unless your job is specifically “proofreader” or “copy editor,” it’s smart to ask what type of edits a person is looking for before you edit heavily. In this case, you could go back to your boss and say something like, “I think I did heavier edits than you were looking for on that document. So that I know for the future, will you tell me a bit about what kind of thing you’re looking for when you ask me to look something over? I want to make sure I’m doing the right level of editing going forward!”

– 2019

4. My interviewer seemed uninterested in me from the start

I had a job interview a week ago, and it was clear right from the get-go that the interviewer seemed really disinterested and not really that responsive to my questions. She ended the interview after 15 minutes. Unsurprisingly, today I got a response that I wasn’t selected.

I’m not sure what I did wrong. It can’t be my qualifications, as she had to have wanted to meet with me for a reason, and I really think I answered everything well — she even said I “answered the questions really well” at the end when I asked if she wanted anything about me clarified (whatever that could mean). Yet she still seemed so bored by me and so eager to be done with it, right from the start. She said she was early in the interview process, so I feel like she can’t have gotten to meet with that many more candidates, if any.

What are the odds that her first or second candidate was so outstanding that she realized she would now have to drudge through a number of other interviews? What conclusion could she have come to so quickly before the interview to decide I wasn’t a good fit? If she knew she wouldn’t select me so early on, why even bother with an interview?

It could be anything! It could be that she already knows she wants to hire her friend … or she received terrible personal news that day and was rushing through your interview to go deal with it … or someone else selected you for the interview and she wouldn’t have but saw your resume too late in the process to cancel … or the day before the interview she realized she really needs to hire someone with llama wrangling experience, which you don’t have, and she felt it was too late to cancel … or she took an instant dislike to you because of your shoes … or you answered an early question in a way that was a deal-breaker, and she isn’t a skilled enough interviewer to either tell you that or handle the rest of the interview better … or something else that I’m not thinking of.

You can drive yourself out of your mind by trying to figure out this sort of thing without any real information to inform your thinking. It’s better to just figure it wasn’t meant to be for whatever reason, and move on.

– 2019

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{ 154 comments }

{ 154 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Reality.Bites*

    While it was never on a work computer, a spreadsheet used to track my retirement savings had the title “Plan For World Domination.xls”

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      1. Confused*

        But why?? I am so confused by the letter and by these answers.
        Why would you choose a title that leaves room for discussion about violent tendencies, productivity, or similar, especially at work? Even if it is meant to be funny or ironic, this seems such an unnecessary way to make people wonder about your attitude (if this is among the first things they learn about you).

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        1. rebelwithmouseyhair*

          Because sometimes your whole self can’t help spilling over into work?

          I used to have a folder called “corporate blabla” in which I saved all the boring business translations full of buzzwords like thinking outside the box and workshopping. There was zero chance any client would ever know that’s where I stored their translations, so no harm done. Interns would chuckle seeing it, and would remember where to store their corporate blabla translations.

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          1. Mutually supportive*

            I had a graduate with a folder called “can you just”, for all those little 5 minutes jobs.

            Which would be fine, but our drawings automatically put the filepath into the footer, so he *almost* sent out drawings with G://canyoujust/[client project drawing]

            which I didn’t think would give the right impression…

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        2. bamcheeks*

          I mean, doodling during meetings is a pretty widely known concentration tactic. If you think having a notebook called “doodles from important meetings” reflects on someone’s productivity you must have worked in some very humourless environments! I wouldn’t be super thrilled about a co-worker having a “people I’d like to hit” list (especially if it was combined with an aggressive communication style) but I’d no more judge someone for having a notebook with a tongue-in-cheek cover than I would judge them for having a floral water bottle.

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          1. Marshmallow*

            That notebook is full of doodles from meetings cuz I have ADHD and need to do something in meetings in order to be able to listen (and no, taking notes does not help with that).

            Some people just like to have a little whimsy in their lives to survive the daily grind. It’s fine if it’s not for everyone… but it’s not really hurting anyone either. I probably wouldn’t love the one about hitting people but how much I cared would vary greatly based on what I knew of the person. But in itself it would concern me zero.

            If it makes you feel better about if I know what might make people uncomfortable (and I believe there is a difference between making someone uncomfortable and making someone annoyed because they can’t read thru the humor that’s implied), I also have a notebook titled “my list of bodies I buried in the woods”… I was given it by a friend that knows and appreciates my sense of humor and I love it… but I leave that one at home for personal use only.

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        3. Anise*

          Because the vast majority of people are not so rigid and unaware as to assume that a title like “Doodles I made during important work meetings” is intended in any way seriously, and those, apparently like you, who are perturbed by it are not people whose judgement I value?

          There is a company called WTF Notebooks UK who make notebooks named things like “Tasks I need to complete before I can watch a Netflix”, “Meetings that could have been emails”, “People I want to punch in the face” (and others which would get this comment sent to moderation) etc. They are beloved in my office – almost everyone has at least one of these on their desk. My boss bought a bunch to give as gifts a few years ago. People here are capable of using their critical thinking skills to judge that these are humorous and not to be taken literally or seriously.

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          1. UKDancer*

            I have a couple of the WTF Notebooks. They’re good quality notebooks and the titles amuse me.

            I think they’re funny. I mean I wouldn’t use the ones with offensive titles in the workplace (at home is different) but I have used others in the office that are amusing to me.

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            1. Vincent t adultman*

              Yeah, I worked with a team where we’d send the links to WTF Notebooks around on a regular basis. Again, we wouldn’t have necessarily used some of their notebooks in the office because duh, why get yourself hauled in front of HR for no good reason. But that particular team had that kind of sense of humor. I’ve also worked on teams where I would NOT send around links of funny WTF Notebooks because I know that team doesn’t have that same sense of humor. And that’s okay.

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            2. Clisby*

              Yeah, one Christmas I got my kids the notebooks titled Times My Cat Was A Real Jerk and Snide Comments I Need To Keep To Myself.

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          2. Elizabeth West*

            When I was struggling at OldCityExjob after they changed everything, I had a folder in a flash drive I labeled F*ckadoodledoo. If I was stressed, I’d wait for downtime, open a Notepad document, vent in that, and save it in the file. It kept me from saying something I shouldn’t and the fast typing made me look busy.

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            1. Confused*

              This example, with this explanation, makes sense. Thanks for mentioning that!

              I work a lot with internal customers at different locations and share my screen a lot. I had mishaps and I have gotten very careful about files, folders or things accidently showing up under recently used files no matter the file path.
              Good if people know this would be considered funny among their colleagues. While the majority would not mind, I know two or three of my internal customers would not get the joke and it would be noted as such. And tbh, I have no desire to find out if they would circle this back to my boss, when it is so easily avoided by boring and conventional naming of things.

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          3. Marshmallow*

            That’s where I got it from! I love them! I got one for my friend that said “times I was right and no one listened”.

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          4. Confused*

            Good if a title as “People I want to punch in the face” is beloved in your office. But I can think of a few people in my organisation who are rather rigid and would consider this as unprofessional.

            There is always a chance that you come across a person who does have a very different sense of humour, who does not get irony or who has a very different understanding of how much humour should be displayed in a business context. This might be problematic (or not) depending in various factors, but you are on the safer side if you refrain from ironic notebook titles, file naming or “funny” postcards at your desk.

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          5. Mgguy*

            Reading this comment, I was just thinking about titling one of my notebooks “meetings that could have been an email”.

            I’m the guy who’s picky about paper and buys kind of expensive notebooks that also have a side benefit of being appropriately conservative for really any situation. I use a lot of hard bound Black N’ Red brand notebooks, both the one I use as a lab notebook and several others for different topics.

            I also have a few other assorted ones, and one I’m especially not fond of gets used for all the nonsense meetings that we’re required to attend that…well really could have been an email.

            I wouldn’t actually do that. My field is what I’d call selectively conservative-I’m in academia, which tends to be welcoming to to unconventional appearance, openly supportive of LGBTQIA+ rights and racially/ethnically diverse workplaces, and the like. It’s just accepted that faculty especially will be “different”, and it’s one of those places where neurodiverse people can really find their home and thrive. At the same time, administration by and large tends to be fairly conservative, and when we’re in our dozenth “Student success” meeting of the semester, I don’t think they would take kindly to seeing a notebook labeled that way. Funny enough, the president(who I communicate with regularly and once or twice a semester will ask me to come by his office for coffee and catch-up) shares the same sentiment and would find it hysterical, but he also doesn’t want to micro-manage the lower level administrators…

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        4. Irish Teacher.*

          I don’t think most people who write stuff like that are expecting it to be among the first things anybody learns about them. Generally, it is just for themselves and they don’t expect anybody else to read it at all, let alone somebody who doesn’t know much else about them.

          Especially with a “people I need to hit” list. I think that person definitely didn’t intend anybody else seeing that. Even if he titled it more gently like “people I wish were fired” or “most annoying people at this company,” it still wouldn’t be something he’d want anybody else seeing. It was almost certainly meant for his own eyes only.

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          1. Antilles*

            Also, it’s worth noting that a lot of this is notable because Tony is already viewed as very defensive, verbally aggressive, confrontational, and unprofessional.
            If this was instead a well liked personable guy, people wouldn’t blink an eye at the list title, instead they’d just shrug it off. Heck, some people might joke right back about “saw your document title yesterday, does the printer in the copy room count? that dang thing never works!”

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            1. Venus*

              If it’s someone who is a nice guy then I’d assume it’s a list of people they needed to reach out to for something. OP thought of money (hitting them up for cash) whereas I thought of hitting them up for info or a request.

              For the question of why someone would ever label a document in a way that could be viewed as aggressive, then I would say that some of us wouldn’t think of that connotation. Given that Tony already has a reputation then that’s an issue for him, but when I write personal notes I’m not thinking of all the ways it could be viewed.

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              1. Lauren19*

                I’m with you, I’d like to believe this was a ‘people I need to reach out to list’ ie hit up for a request, follow up, etc, not a violent take. Depending on his OneNote margins, the title could have been longer and not seen on the screen share. Now OP does have to factor in past behavior, but I wouldn’t immediately jump to a violent read of this.

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            2. Amy*

              I would always blink an eye at the title “People I need to hit” and a list of colleagues. I don’t care if the person has the personality of a teddy bear. It’s weird and unprofessional.

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          2. Julia K*

            I wouldn’t be too worried about actual violence. But even if his list is the equivalent of “people I wish were fired” or “most annoying people at this company,” I still think that reveals something about him as a coworker. Who keeps a list like that??

            Unless, maybe, he’s documenting an ongoing exchange with one or more other people who are acting inappropriately?

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            1. froodle*

              I’ll fess up to having a spreadsheet on my work desktop at Old Job called “shitty comments from shitty people”.

              it was for the exact purpose you’ve mentioned above – certain members of staff were making incredibly derogatory and mean spirited remarks on a regular basis, and I was logging it to get my ducks in a row when I complained (obviously I did not plan on using the original file name when I did so!)

              of course, the bigger problem was that we had a whole subset of employees who were making shitty comments to their colleagues on the reg, and the biggest problem was that we had managers who not only allowed it but participated

              I ended up leaving. the shittiness ran too deep and I wasn’t interested in diving into a poo pool party with those inexplicably buoyant turds

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              1. allathian*

                “The shittiness ran too deep and I wasn’t interested in diving into a poo pool party with those inexplicably buoyant turds” made me giggle.

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        5. Falling Diphthong*

          There are plenty of people who ask themselves “Where should I put this document/chat/etc with the stuff I desperately don’t want my managers to read? On this work device, under a clearly identifying name, is the answer I have discovered! For that is easier to find at work, which is when I always make time to focus on this record, honing my observations on how everyone sucks.”

          It’s a whole subgenre of letters.

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        6. Throwaway Account*

          I think confused is saying that these answers (and amusing document titles) seem very blasé compared to the violence in the title “people I need to hit”

          The jokey titles are very different from the violence in the title the OP saw. That is what I think Confused was confused about.

          Let’s face it, there is workplace violence and that title seems like the same kind of joke as telling “fire” in a crowded theater. It’s not really funny

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          1. Despachito*

            To be honest, I do not see a lot of difference between the notebok of OP 1’s coworker “ people I need to hit” and the notebook “People I want to punch in the face” mentioned by Anise.

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          2. Leenie*

            I don’t think Confused was making that distinction. I think Confused was pretty clearly lumping them all together, since they were responding to the comment that said, “I have a notebook titled “Doodles I made during important work meetings”…” and started their respond with, “ But why?? I am so confused by the letter and by these answers. Why would you choose a title that leaves room for discussion about violent tendencies, productivity, or similar, especially at work?”

            They said, “violent tendencies, productivity, or similar…” So there really isn’t an interpretation where they think there’s a difference, as you’re suggesting.

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        7. ecnaseener*

          Risk tolerance, essentially. If having a title like that makes you feel good, then you might be fine with the low risk of someone seeing it and taking it badly. Everyone’s different, but there are real downsides to operating with zero risk tolerance — it’s stressful.

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        8. Raven*

          Because not everything is done for others. Sometimes it is for your own amusement to get you through the day and it harms no one.

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        9. Maxouillenet*

          When I was in high school, as I’m dyspraxic, I had a computer paid for by the rectorat (French equivalent of a school district).
          During freshman year, I had a history-geography teacher with a great sense of humor. She explained to us one day how to differentiate between sects and religions, so that we wouldn’t get confused.
          And as a joke, I said I was going to take notes, so I created a document entitled “How to create a cult” and actually took the notes. For credibility I put it as a hidden file.

          My computer had to be returned at the end of each school year and I had to return it as I found it (i.e. not formatted because there was software already installed by the rectorat that had to stay) so I deleted the documents and completely forgot about this hidden file. I realized it too late

          I’d like to thank the rectorat for not taking this document seriously.

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        10. fhqwhgads*

          I think the phrase in the letter, sure, could imply violence – imagined or otherwise – but it’s also so the beginning of other phrases, it’s ambiguous enough not to matter. Unless this guy punches walls or stabs furniture. It sounds like he’s known for being defensive but not violent. The loan shark joke in the letter sort of even points at it. “Hit up” not just for money, but in the sense of “talk to” or “interact with” is so so so common.
          If the title had said “People I need to Punch” I’d be more worried. Whether dude meant it sarcastically and just venting frustration or actually intended to punch people, that would’ve had a lot fewer innocuous interpretations – if any at all. But “hit” has so many meanings, assuming the wording in the letter is verbatim, it’s got too many not at all alarming possibilities.

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          1. Clisby*

            Or if this co-worker was the guy who went around stabbing office furniture – that requires a report to HR/management.

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        11. Kevin Sours*

          I’m not saying it’s good judgement or anything but he was probably working under the assumption that nobody would ever see it.

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    2. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      It depends a lot on culture though. Where I work in IT you can get away with some VERY dark humour in terms of file naming (and variables) but on the understanding that if someone outside the department is going to see it you need to clean that shit up.

      And I say this as someone with a sticker on my laptop that says ‘from now on we’ll f*ck things up MY way’ (It’s only stuck on with blu-tac though so can be removed quickly)

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  2. CHRISTOPHER FRANKLIN*

    Ah, the “people I need to hit” list reminds me of a trip I took with my sister to New York. She was the personnel manager for a major museum so we took in several museums including the Metropolitan Museum. I wanted to go to the museum store which I think of as the “brandy” of the museum, a distillation of everything they thought was noteworthy. I got in line to purchase my little souvenir behind this guy who was performing as a parody of the ugly out-of-towner pretending to fit as a New Yorker by being rude and loud. A Black woman behind the counter and behind the check out staff stared at him, rolled her eyes, and made eye contact with my sister. As I checked out, my sister spoke to her and introduced herself (there aren’t that many other Black women working in major museums so she tried to network as often as possible). She said to the woman: ” I don’t know how you get through the day without hitting someone”. The woman, manager of the store, said: “If I started hitting now, I would be hitting people all day”. words to live by….

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  3. WoodswomanWrites*

    #4, Alison is spot on that it’s impossible to know why an interviewer behaves the way they do.

    I once had what seemed like a strong interview, and I was surprised when I wasn’t invited for a second round. About a month later, I looked at the organization’s website and discovered they had hired an internal candidate. After this experience, I used that explanation in my head for interviews going forward. Did I know that was the case? No. But it kept me from falling into the loop of trying to figure out what happened over and over again.

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    1. Office Chinchilla*

      I once had an interview where it became clear that whoever chose the people to interview was not the person conducting the interview. It was an interview for, basically, a gopher position: you’d be asked to do a variety of tasks as needed for all different departments of the company. It was typical for people trying to break into the business to start in this position and then use the connections they made to move on to the more specialized positions they actually wanted and studied to do. The interviewer took one look at my resume, said “oh, you want to paint tea pots,” and ROLLED HER EYES. (Turned out to be a bullet dodged for many reasons, but it’s hard to see that when you’re still unemployed.)

      I had another interview that was going rather well, and then halfway through, the boss arrived and popped his head in for a second. The room we were in had all glass walls, and the interview was happening before most people arrived for the day so it was just the two of us before the boss got there. The interviewer was happy and engaged. After the boss left, I saw her look briefly up over my shoulder (I assume the boss was standing there on the other side of the glass wall) and her whole demeanor changed. She slouched and lost all interest in me, and there was no getting that interview back. I still wish I had called her on that and asked what disqualified me, even though it’s likely the answer would have been illegal (based on the boss seeing me for a second) so she wouldn’t have told me.

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  4. Thepuppiesareok*

    OP1 my answer to this would have been very different a year ago. That’s because in the last year there was an incident of workplace violence at my job and sadly everyone was not ok. As a result I’m a lot more proactive about these things now. If I were comfortable with him I’d tell Tony “Hey Tony the other day I saw something on your computer called ‘People I need to hit.’ I’m hoping that was a joke. If not please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, even if it’s just venting. I know work can be stressful and sometimes people get on our nerves.”. Incidentally this is one of the tactics recommended in a training I took on diffusing violence in the workplace. Give people a chance to say what’s bothering them/what they need help with before it becomes something bottled up and ready to explode. If you’re not comfortable bringing it up with him talk to his manager and give a similar message. Basically a ‘I’m wondering if someone needs to check in with Tony and see how he’s doing ‘. Not necessarily to get him in trouble.

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    1. It doesn't matter until it does*

      As someone who received an “I love you all” from someone who was a witness of a school shooting, we all believe it can’t happen to us or someone around us. Until it does. I’ll admit I didn’t take “joking” threats super seriously. I do now and I would mention something like that, if nothing else, but to an anonymous report line if your work has one.

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    2. Baked Alaska*

      I’m a New Orleanian and I spent all of yesterday checking to make sure my friends were alive, while everyone else I knew in the rest of the country kept posting wild remarks about ‘what a wonderful year this going to be!’. I, too, would take this very seriously. I’ve been impacted by more than one incident of serious violence in my life, I’m sorry to say, but all it takes is one to change your view forever.

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      2. AP*

        So sorry for you. I really am. I know the abject terror of wondering if your loved one is alive after a massacre. You move on but don’t really get over it. I hope all your loved ones are ok now and forever. New Orleans and Vegas and it’s only the second day of the year. Red flags suggesting violence cannot be ignored or laughed away, sadly.

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    4. AnonymousFormerTeacher*

      I absolutely agree.

      I taught for a little over a decade, and the number of times I read an aside in a student’s writings or overheard a teenager make a joke or comment. Newtown happened early in my career – I have had more hard conversations with students and reported more things to administration and/or the SRO than I care to remember. And most of them were teenagers being dumb.

      But then I anonymously reported a kid for a borderline weird comment because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it 1:1 with them – and it turns out they did have a plan and access. It was terrifying, even with appropriate intervention from law enforcement, mental health care, and their family.

      Even though I no longer teach, I call those comments and document names out in my corporate job, and escalate appropriately.

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    5. Frosty*

      I totally agree with this – a list called “people I want to hit” is actually quite alarming. Why would this list exist, why is it long enough that he’s saving it in a document?

      Your approach is also excellent – it lets Tony know that people do see him. If it was a meaningless “jokey” list, then perhaps he’d be chagrined enough to quit making it.

      If there is something darker afoot, it might give him a resource to halt it from getting worse.

      Thank you for making this comment

      Reply ↓
    7. Cacofonix*

      I don’t have experience nor training in this, but in taking your advice in the moment not later, and asking if Tony were okay upon noticing the note on his screen, what if his response were to be “no, all good”? I would ask him to remove it from his screen because it is distracting. I would hope he’d do it on his own, but if he didn’t and refused, then would one see that as a clear escalation and calmly end the meeting? I know someone who would joke “looks like I need to add you to the list.” For me, it’s a real threat, joking or not.

      Reply ↓
    8. LadyVet*

      I was a little surprised that neither the people LW talked to nor Alison said anything about talking directly to Tony himself, even just to say “I wanted to focus on the meeting at hand but now that’s done, I noticed that file…”

      Reply ↓
  5. Still looking*

    I once had a manager who when leaving produced a “Staff points of pain” document for the next manager. They did show a couple of staff some of what they’d written. The content was pretty horrifying. One of the staff who saw it did point out the document would reflect negatively on this manager.
    So of course we were all looking everywhere for it but never found it. We approached the departing manager’s manager who’d never been given it. So it didn’t end up going anywhere or to any new manager!

    Reply ↓
  6. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

    OP1 (‘people I need to hit’ list) I fall somewhere between OP’s and Paulie’s (OPs boyfriend) responses. I doubt it is a precursor to workplace violence, but also it is more significant than just blowing off steam, because it’s part of the already established pattern of unnecessary aggression and confrontation. I wonder if Carmela doesn’t know about the history and the reprimand and that’s why she just laughed it off. I would mention this to his boss, it can be discussed openly if the boss knows that you know about the reprimand (or the history in general), or more tactfully if the boss doesn’t know that you already have that context.

    Reply ↓
    1. Strive to Excel*

      I agree the established pattern of aggression is what makes it more worrying. I’ve got coworkers where seeing a list like that wouldn’t worry me in the least, because I know they’re either being funny internally or because I know “hit list” translates to “who haven’t I hit up to sign the birthday card”. I’d be more concerned to see it on the screen of a coworker I knew had anger issues.

      Reply ↓
  7. EditingBadWriters*

    For #3, I have to disagree with Alison somewhat. While the different types of editing are legitimate editing passes in more formal environments, they rarely exist as separate steps except in formal publishing environments. In most corporate environments there’s one combined editing pass that fills all of the purposes. Even if that’s not the case, in environments that care enough to do different types of editing, documents with that level of issues would either be rejected and sent back as not ready for editing or many of the issues would be considered egregious enough to be addressed by any editor – and getting repeated documents with that level of poor quality would be addressed through some form of corrective action.

    However, in many cases, formulating this as a review rather than an edit might make it less jarring since technically it would be suggestions the author or person collating the different input together could choose to use or ignore. Regardless, whether there’s one pass for all editing or review or more, most writers/editors I know would flag all of the issues highlighted unless specifically told not to do so in some type of informal or preliminary pass (ignore the typos – I’ll fix those later, I have a bunch of blurbs from people and need help organizing it).

    Further, it is more important, not less, to do comprehensive editing when there are multiple authors because part of the job here is making sure the result is cohesive and sounds like it was written by one person.

    I would add, many people think anyone can write and many people think they are much better writers than they actually are.

    I have a coworker who is nearly incomprehensible in writing – he can’t organize a thought, he uses random punctuation and formatting, he uses weird colloquialisms, and more. Yet he continues to get asked to write up material related to his areas of responsibility. I literally get a headache when I try to read it and make sense of it. He even gets assigned extra writing (newsletter articles, blog pieces, etc) when they fall under his area of expertise because my boss doesn’t understand how bad at it he is, or understand how difficult and time consuming it is to edit. You have to address all of it together to address any of it because it’s a weird tangle. It would never make it to any type of formal editing process that had organizational/proofreading/etc passes, though, because he would never be allowed to write anything in such an environment.

    Reply ↓
    1. Momma Bear*

      I wonder if it was more that the boss was caught off guard than the LW was wrong. If the boss has been letting things slide and now someone has brought attention to it, that reflects back on the boss’ behavior, rather than the fault of the reviewer. Sounds to me like she’s been slacking on this and/or other documents for a while. Not all changes need to be implemented, certainly but I agree with you that editing for cohesion and clarity is extra important with multiple authors.

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    2. B*

      Some of the OP’s changes sound stylistic (especially the one about revising awkward sentences). There are many workplaces where making a technically unnecessary revision to something written by a more senior person (or committee of more senior people) would be a faux pas. It’s ultimately on the manager to clarify this, but, especially for a very junior employee, I can easily imagine offering “edits” that accidentally offend.

      Reply ↓
    3. JB (not in Houston)*

      I think you might be missing the point of Alison’s answer. She said, “There are a bunch of different types of editing *that a coworker might ask for*.” And that’s correct. The terms “editing” and “proofreading” can mean different things to different people, and the OP and her manager clearly have different ideas of what was asked for. I agree with your comment generally about what kind of editing should be done, but that isn’t much help for the OP for us to talk about what kind of editing *should* be happening. She needs to be aligned with what her manager wants from her. That’s really what OP was asking about–what her manager expects from her/whether she misunderstood what she was supposed to be doing–and that’s what Alison is addressing.

      Reply ↓
      1. fhqwhgads*

        Yes, exactly. What matters in the situation for the LW isn’t whether there is some universal ideal of what should be edited when a document is submitted for editing. It’s the opposite: that there isn’t one and when Human A says “edit this” and Human B says “edit this”, they might be asking you to do very different things. To avoid the type of reaction the LW got, the LW needs to know what the Human doing the asking is actually asking for. And that’s what the AAM reply addressed.

        Reply ↓
    4. Sacrosant Peace*

      This seems like a good place to respond.

      I am objectively a better writer and grammarian than many of my co-workers and some of my superiors. I also have a knack for finding the right word as opposed to using a long explanation.

      I had to learn that those skills are not necessarily what I am being asked for when I am requested to edit.

      I also had to learn that some people take editing very personal and edits are viewed as an attack on their intelligence and standing at the organization.

      Yes, there were a few awkward conversations.c

      These days, unless I am personally affected, my edits are very minor. I prefer my peace.

      Reply ↓
      1. Artemesia*

        In your situation I would ask ‘are you looking for proofreading here? or editing/re-writing?’ They are obviously very different goals and I think the difference is quite clear phrased that way? i.e. catch ‘mistakes’ versus ‘improve the quality of the piece.’

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  8. Irish Teacher.*

    LW4, given that he interviewer was uninterested right from the start, it was unlikely to be anything you did. Far more likely that they found the perfect candidate already (or somebody they thought to be the perfect candidate) and they weren’t interested in looking further. No, that’s not a good idea because somebody even better could come along but it’s not unusual for people to do stuff like that.

    In teacher, in Ireland, 15 minute interviews generally mean they have the candidate they want already. This is something specific to teaching in Ireland, as there is a rule that to get a permanent contract, people have to reapply and be reinterviewed after their first year in the job. If the teacher is good, it’s usually a formality; unless a real unicorn candidate comes along, they are getting the job. So they call in a few people for 10-15 minute interviews.

    I once had an interview that lasted 3 minutes and the interviewer clearly wasn’t listening to me. It went someway like “and I have experience of teaching this subject to all years from 1st year to 6th year,” “and have you any experience of teaching it to 5th or 6th year classes?” (What annoyed me there was that this interview took place 2-3 hours’ journey from my home; I mean, seriously, if you are calling people at random just to make up the numbers, call some of the local people. It was in a large city. There would have certainly been candidates who were local.)

    And yeah, that’s a specific thing to the Irish public service, but there could be something similar going on, like she knew who she wanted to employ but her boss was insisting she interview anyway or she had a friend or relative she wanted to employ and was trying to make it look “fairer” by making them go through an interview process.

    Or I guess there could have been some kind of bias on her part, like you belong to a race or have an accent or something she is prejudiced against and would never employ.

    I think it’s unlikely you did anything wrong that early in the interview. It’s possible but given her level of disinterest, it seems more likely it was a lack of engagement from the start on her part, for whatever reason.

    Reply ↓
    1. EvilQueenRegina*

      I remember one former coworker describing an unenthusiastic interviewer once – in that case they’d had a temp in the role and wanted to keep that person longterm, but there was a policy in place where anyone who was at risk of layoff (which my coworker had been at the time of applying) had to be given first priority, so they couldn’t hire the temp at that point until all at risk applicants had been interviewed.

      As it turned out, that coworker found out the day before the interview that the funding had been secured to keep her original job after all (the decision on this had been delayed several times), but still went to the interview anyway. Apparently the only time the interviewer smiled was when she explained that.

      Coworker went through the interview, but withdrew from the process within a couple of hours.

      Reply ↓
      1. OrangeCup*

        The one time I walked out of an interview knowing I wasn’t getting the job because of an unenthusiastic interviewer, I’ve always wondered if it was because of a bait and switch I refused to let them pull with the salary. The recruiter mentioned XX in the first meeting with me, a very high salary for the role at the time, which was the only reason I was interested (I wasn’t interested in the company type or the owner, who was a notoriously difficult man). On the second call to confirm the interview, she suddenly says YY about the salary, which was 10-15K less. I asked if I misheard her on the previous call. She says no, they just want to see if there was any wiggle room. I said no. I still got the interview, but they were pretty rude.

        Then they wound up hiring a nasty former manager of mine from a previous job who came into that job from another industry entirely, who knew nothing about our industry and was just hired to try and figure out how to make the department more money. I’ve always wondered if he got the full salary quote or not. I did find out he messed something up at this job he was hired at instead of me in the first few months so badly that he was nearly fired by the difficult boss! So that was fun to hear.

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    2. SmallStrangeThing*

      I agree that it wasn’t something you did as there was disinterest from the start.

      In these cases, I recommend something one of my old schoolmates managed to pull off. She was in the same boat but the interviewers also mentioned more than once what a great job a temporary department transfer [Beth] was doing in the role. She spoke up and said, “I apologize if I am making a leap here, but it sounds as if you are already planning to give this role to Beth. I think that I would be a great fit with the company and was wondering if you have any other roles you think that I could fill. ” The interviewers were taken aback and the interview turned into a discussion on the company with the interviews actually starting to pay attention. She obviously didn’t get that role, but about 3 weeks later, got a call about another role in the company. Sometimes it pays to call people out in a kind fashion and show some bravery.

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    3. MassMatt*

      Interviewing candidates is unfortunately the last thing many people want to do, especially if they are not the hiring manager. It’s a shame, but even more than most other management responsibilities, people are often thrown into it with no training or guidelines whatsoever.

      This interviewer’s attitude was poor, but as Alison says I wouldn’t read much into it. They may have had far too many interviews to get through in a day, gotten bad news just before, or yes maybe they had another candidate they wanted to hire and were required to do more interviews anyway. You’ll never know, so it’s best to try to move on and try not to obsess over it.

      All that said, have I obsessed over bad interviews and how I might have screwed them up? Yes, yes I have.

      Reply ↓
    4. Ama*

      Many years ago, I was working at a university and our department was hiring student workers. Our department head picked out 18 candidates for the first round interviews and insisted we ask each one of them every question on a three page list (was department head actually conducting these interviews? Of course not, she expected the staff to do it and narrow the pool down to 3-4 candidates she would then interview for our two open positions). She also insisted we schedule all 18 interviews in a three day period.

      The candidates who had the day 3 slots definitely got a group of unenthusiastic and inattentive interviewers as we were exhausted.

      Reply ↓
  9. Katie*

    Op2 reminds me of a director at my company. The company regularly did presentations to potential clients behind my team’s group of desks. We always cleaned our desks before these things.

    The night before one of these, the director came and was pissed at the messy cords. One employee was working late and he made my employee fix all of the 10 or so desks.

    I was pissed on my employee’s behalf and complained about it. It’s one thing to complain to us and have us fix our desks the next morning but to yell at someone and make them fix other people’s desks wasn’t appropriate.

    I hated that guy as is. In my 17 years of working, I have complained to my manager exactly twice about people’s behaviors and he was the subject of the complaint both times.

    Reply ↓
    1. Good Man Hennerz*

      I don’t have anything diagnosed… what other people see as ”chaos” or ”mess” is for me ”I put it there, it is in it’s place, I know where it is”…

      I work nowadays more or less as a ”stores manager” and yes, some of the storages are a ”pile of junk”. If I ”organize” things however, then the place will be ready for a marine drill sergeant’s inspection.

      However, even if it is a ”pile of junk”, I still ”know where everything is”… it’s not ”photographic memory”, I can’t remember texts or anything like that… ”eidetic memory? ” But if someone went and ”touched my things” on a personal space like my desk… oooh, that marine drill sergeant would be a polite individual compared to me. It’s like going to a blind person’s house and rearranging their furniture!

      Reply ↓
  10. I should really pick a name*

    I have sometimes taken frustration out in note titles myself (naming a doc “Stupid 7am Meeting” to capture my meeting notes, for example)

    Not a great idea on a work computer, and the letter itself explains why.

    Reply ↓
  11. Johnny Sack*

    The fact that LW 1 used Tony , Carmela, and Paulie as names makes me think they’re being accused of being part of a certain Italian-American subculture.

    Reply ↓
    1. Nightengale*

      Those are also names of characters from the TV show “The Commish” which ran in the early 90s. Tony, Carmela and Paulie were all police officers on the show (Tony was the Commish) I miss that show . . .

      Reply ↓
    3. YesPhoebeWould*

      I’m not certain either way, but if the song “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey comes on the office sound system?

      I’d just avoid Tony’s desk.

      Reply ↓
  12. TX_Trucker*

    #1 Working in the transportation industry, I monitor lots of national safety data. Driving related deaths is the the number 1 cause of a fatality while working. It may surprise you to learn that the #3 cause in the United States is homicide.

    Reply ↓
        1. Delta Delta*

          What are people doing in the UK that causes them to 1) be up at such heights and 2) fall from the same? Or is it just falling in general? I’m very curious about this.

          Reply ↓
          2. MassMatt*

            Among the jobs that require working at heights: Construction, roof/gutter repair, solar installation, house painting, power and telephone line employees, arborist, and window washer.

            Reply ↓
          3. UKDancer*

            The major fields where people in the UK tend to die at work are construction and agriculture forestry and fishing. So I’m guessing that would be one of the reasons for falls being one of the causes of death.

            Construction can involve working at height fairly often which might have something to do with it despite safety being better than it was. Agriculture involves working around a lot of hazards (I can still remember a public information film from my childhood about the dangers on farms) so it’s not surprising.

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          4. Irish Teacher.*

            The number of deaths in the workplace are generally quite low. In Ireland, vehicle deaths were the most common in 2023 and then falls from heights, but there were a total of 13 of the first and 11 of the second. There were 43 workplace deaths in total.

            Now, obviously, the UK has a much higher population than Ireland, but googling their numbers, the UK had a total of 138 deaths in a year and 47 of those were in construction.

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          5. Bella Ridley*

            This is not specific to the UK. Look more closely into the US’s Bureau of Labour Statistics if you’d like to see common workplaces fatality reasons. Not everyone works in an office.

            Reply ↓
      1. ecnaseener*

        I think it’s the part about homicide being a common cause of death at work. Trucker is suggesting that “people I need to hit” might be “hit” as in hit-list, not as in punch.

        Reply ↓
        1. RagingADHD*

          In the US in 2023, there were 740 fatalities due to violent acts in the workplace, of which 458 were homicides.

          There were 171.9 million people employed in the US in 2023.

          Obviously, any homicides are too many homicides, but it is in fact an *extremely* uncommon occurrence.

          Reply ↓
  13. Tradd*

    #2 really irked me. A previous company I worked for wouldn’t pay for wireless keyboards/mice. If you wanted them, you brought in your own. Yet, management was always bellyaching about how messy the cables made desks. I’ve also had managers in the past who had desks that were a hazardous materials zone gripe about people having stuff they were actually working on that was out. This was an office that didn’t require everything put away at night and wasn’t paperless.

    Reply ↓
    1. Alan*

      Complaining about cables is so, so stupid. (I know I’m not supposed to use the “s word” but the shoe fits.) Do these same people go to a construction site and demand that workers not have their tools out? This is a self-own on the part of managers who don’t realize how the work happens.

      Reply ↓
  14. Sun in an Empty Room*

    #3 In addition to different thoroughness of editing there needs to be a consideration for workflow of documents you’re editing. With multiple authors in a gov’t agency conveying back minor edits, and especially getting response to comments about style, could be very lengthy. I suspect your manager was wanting you to MAKE the edits to save time rather than COMMENT on the edits that need to be made. In this situation, I would have wanted a track changes document with edits made. I would limit comments to areas where you’re truly unsure of the meaning being conveyed. Track changes will allow the final user to accept or reject changes (yes/no thinking) vs get into responses about grammar choices.

    Reply ↓
    1. Antilles*

      Even OP making the edits directly would still be a problem, because you’d still need to route the document back to the original authors to verify their edits. If it’s really a “last look” before it goes out the door, the only changes that OP should be flagging are blatant glaring errors.
      I would also note that “unsure of the meaning being conveyed” varies by the person. With OP being a new-ish associate, it’s entirely possible that what OP thinks is unclear is actually perfectly clear to someone with more experience.

      Reply ↓
      1. Delta Delta*

        But – at the very least, there should be agreement about grammar, usage, and tense throughout the document. Although, part of me would like to witness the inevitable fights about the Oxford comma.

        Reply ↓
        1. Anne Shirley Blythe*

          Yes, ideally there should. But in many situations, the editor does not get any say, much less final say. There are so many scenarios. Sometimes the managers/writers only want a stamp of approval to move things along, but won’t admit it. Meanwhile the editor is simply doing their job.

          Reply ↓
        2. Antilles*

          Perhaps, but the time to do that sort of tweaking is NOT the last look, after a group of individual authors has already reviewed it. Especially since many grammar and usage mistakes don’t really inhibit the reader’s understanding and are therefore not worth the effort of having to scramble to cycle back to the original authors at the very last minute.
          The fact OP’s boss came back to ask for comments after only 40 minutes (which isn’t enough for a full editing pass) very strongly suggests that this wasn’t intended to be a full check of grammar and editing, discussion of the merits of Oxford commas, etc but more of a quick set of eyes check for major screw-ups.

          Reply ↓
          1. Anne Shirley Blythe*

            Agreed. I actually wasn’t referring to the last look. Because of egos/ineffective management/flawed systems etc., editors will encounter people who are resistant to any changes at any stage. Results can be unfortunate and absurd.

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      2. Anne Shirley Blythe*

        I automatically assumed (especially because it was 2019) that this was a tracked-changes situation. Since the OP has an English degree, I’m inclined to think the meaning was indeed unclear. Since the document was being sent to “the counties,” it was probably intended for a general audience.

        I think this is likely a case of the manager not appreciating having a spotlight on all the problems, especially if this was a deadline situation. So Alison is spot-on about clarifying the level of editing wanted. Being an editor is frequently a “damned if you do/damned if you don’t” scenario (How dare you be so exacting!/How could you miss that!) Clarification helps lessen aggravation on both sides.

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  15. Porcupine*

    Workplace violence is more frequent than many people realize, and TX Trucker had the data to back that up. I think they’re suggesting that Tony’s note be taken more seriously. “Joking” threats are a common early warning sign, and when taken with his already aggressive behavior, it is potentially concerning.

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  16. Mutually supportive*

    I had a graduate with a folder called “can you just”, for all those little 5 minutes jobs.

    Which would be fine, but our drawings automatically put the filepath into the footer, so he *almost* sent out drawings with G://canyoujust/[client project drawing]

    which I didn’t think would give the right impression…

    Reply ↓
    1. NotAnotherManager!*

      I had an entry-level hire vent his frustrations with his project work in drafts of his project time entries (which went directly onto the customer bill). He wrote them in that format and then went back and cleaned them up to be more professional before submitting the final versions. Until the month he forgot, and we all got to do several meetings no one wanted to go to because his entries questioning the intelligence of the project leadership team and client, complaining about having to redo a deliverable multiple times when requirements changed, and (worst of all) admitting he was charging project time for not really doing work, all made it onto the draft bill the project lead reviewed before sending to the client. He was lucky not to be fired over some of the content, and we had a very direct discussion about why your work computer/project billing are not necessarily the best place for one’s creative writing efforts.

      Reply ↓
  17. Redaktorin*

    As the recipient of multiple English degrees and a former professional editor, I can tell you that editing usually requires a lot more training than an English degree. At many schools in the US, an undergraduate English degree is awarded for the study of literary criticism, with grammar covered only in one or two elective courses, if at all. Grad students will sometimes get the chance to write “awk” on any long sentences from undergrads, with no supervision from their own professors or confirmation that the sentences in question were actually awkward. It just doesn’t mean much for your ability to do the work, and most people I’ve met who figured they were qualified by virtue of their English degrees had some very noticeable knowledge gaps. It’s a question of not knowing what you don’t know.

    This is all to say that the boss’s reaction may be due to poor-quality editing. The OP may not even be in a position to accurately assess their work product.

    Dialling it way back is part of the answer, but so is taking a course with ACES, CIEP, the Editorial Freelancer’s Association, et al.

    Reply ↓
  18. Ms. Eleanous*

    I love the world domination title

    In college, we had the S**t list.

    Since hit might sound
    gangster-y:

    Need photos for dart board.

    Needs mute button

    Reply ↓
  19. NotAnotherManager!*

    I kind of want LW#3 to come and work for me. Our team routinely has to do a final edit over multi-author documents, and the cleanup they describe is exactly what we want flagged/fixed in the final version. Good example of how different workplaces need/value different things, but, where I am, multi-author documents get more scrutiny, not less, to ensure consistency across the documents when it goes out (especially if we can’t get a project style guide in front of the drafters).

    Reply ↓
  20. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

    1. Depends a LOT on the situation, culture, country etc. I’d personally rate it as a bit immature (and if one of my direct reports did it definitely warn them about the optics) but I know these people and if they had done it it was likely due to a brief moment of frustration. Or an ironic name for a totally innocuous data set.

    So I wouldn’t go to HR unless I had VERY good reason to believe that this was an actual hit list – and to be honest the first thing they’d ask is for IT to pull the file check for any other material on the computer, then see if any previous behavioural complaints had been issued against that person. Which, btw from the IT department, is a real faff.

    If you have reason to believe that person is dangerous then absolutely report it – we do NOT mind doing audits for good reason.

    Reply ↓
    1. Venus*

      Yeah, there’s one guy at work where this would immediately be raised and management would want to know, so it’s all about context!

      Reply ↓
  21. T.N.H*

    I am a copy editor and always ask what kind of edit they are looking for. But, it sounds like you should be working with a style guide. While that won’t stop you from following up with your manager, it would settle things like serial comma pretty definitively. (If you don’t have one on your team, check with marketing, PR, social media etc.)

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  22. Delta Delta*

    I had a job with a coworker named “Jane” who did really bizarre things and then would pretend she didn’t. I kept a hard-copy folder of these things in a folder I called “JBB” for “Jane Behaving Badly.” It still sort of makes me giggle.

    Reply ↓
  23. Seashell*

    Keeping “people I need to hit” on a work computer or computer used for work is bad judgment, even if it was meant jokingly. It’s at least on par with folder titled “super-boring work stuff” or “tasks for obnoxious boss.”

    Reply ↓
  24. SunnyShine*

    For LW1, I’ve been in two very large well-known companies that would require this to be reported. Everyone takes a yearly training on workplace violence. We are trained to look for disgruntled employees and to report any concerns, no matter how small.

    I see this as a problem, especially since he is verbally aggressive. Even if you think it won’t turn into violence, the fact that he IS being verbally aggressive means he is creating a hostile environment.

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  25. an infinite number of monkeys*

    I learned not to put funny, for-my-eyes-only notes in work presentations after one got posted to the agency intranet after I transferred internally to another job.

    It was harmless, but if you searched on our internal website for this particular procedure, the first result read, “[Process]: A Training Guide. Fear not, mortals! For I have come to enlighten you on…”

    Reply ↓
  26. el l*

    OP4:
    Before you apply for any other job ever again, remind yourself. No matter how good you are, no matter how well you prepare for the interview, no matter what you do, the following can and do regularly happen that will torpedo you getting the job:

    The Internal Candidate
    The Boss’ Nephew
    We’re Not Hiring Anymore*
    Interviewer Has Totally Subjective Better Impression of Another Candidate

    So much in hiring that just ain’t in your control. Sure sounds like that was the case here.

    *Can be just for this position, can be period, or can be related “we don’t have our stuff together”

    Reply ↓
    1. RagingADHD*

      Don’t forget the X factor!

      When you subconsciously remind them of their ex, and they just automatically don’t trust / like you without even realizing why.

      Reply ↓
    2. toolate12*

      In my industry (public sector), hiring managers are required to go through the motions of publicly posting the job and interviewing even when they’ve already settled on the candidate they want ahead of time.

      Usually you can kind of tell when this is the case bc the job is super specific and/or seems a little too good to be true. OTOH: I love applying for these jobs anyway even though I know I won’t get them because they are a great chance to network/have a conversation with someone new in our industry, or get a little peek into an org I’m curious about.

      Reply ↓
  27. WheresTheCoffee*

    Am I the only one that interpreted ‘people I need to hit’ as, perhaps, a list of people he might want to have sex with? As in, ‘I need it ‘hit’ that?’ Not an expression I’m fond of, but that was my first thought…

    Reply ↓
    2. Falling Diphthong*

      I think the context of the general aggression is what tilts it toward the violent interpretation. So depending on what you knew of the person, it could mean:
      • Person I want to punch in the face.
      • Person I need to remember to follow up with.
      • Person I want to have sex with.
      • Something where the acronym is HIT and no one ever put together that that has a meaning other than “Hydration Integration Timeline.”
      • Etc.

      Reply ↓
    3. Icee Breezes*

      But the sexual/slangy connotation of “I’d hit that” is never used grammatically in the same way as “People I want to hit”.

      You’d never say “I’d hit her” and mean it sexually, because the slang phrase is, “I’d hit that” (that being conceptually short for ‘dat a**’). “I’d hit her” could only mean a strike, not a sexual encounter, and “People I want to hit” is constructed as the latter. The sentence construction can’t be applied to the sexual phrasing.

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  28. Robin*

    Re Hit list: I used to work with someone so annoying that I would consider it a good day when I didn’t want to kill her. Literally not kill but she was awful. I would say that just as a release. The hit list is probably the same

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    1. Pinniped Power!*

      My current go-to for excruciating meetings is “set my computer on fire, toss it out the window, run off to leave with the seals”

      Reply ↓
  29. Georgina Sands*

    #4, I have fairly recently started being involved with hiring and to a lesser extent interviewing for the first time, and one thing I have learnt is that I will never take rejections personally again. There are just so many reasons that could happen, very few of which are to do with you – and if the interviewer did take a dislike to you because of race/accent/clothes etc, you don’t want to work there anyway. (I have also realised how much I hate professional floof and have taken chunks of it off my own CV!)

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  30. Stuart Foote*

    I once had a video interview where the interviewer clearly had more important things to do and started responding to emails halfway through (you could see his eyes looking at the second monitor), and ended the interview early. I didn’t hear any feedback after the interview. Then two months later the company reached out to schedule the final interview with the VP (who clearly was going to hire me no matter what; it was an extremely easy interview) and sent an offer the next week. Moral of the story is you really never know with job interviews.

    (And, of course, there have been many, many interviews that I spent a ton of time preparing for, did an excellent job, established great rapport with the interviewer, and then never heard anything ever again; sadly, it goes both ways).

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  31. Jo*

    #1 My immediate thought was that it was a list of people he needed to CONTACT. My initial though was referencing the need to take action.

    I realize “hit” can have other meanings – violence, romance, etc. But seeing it on a colleagues’ screen, I wouldn’t have jumped to “hit” as in “strike”.

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    2. Icee Breezes*

      This and the “maybe it’s sexual” speculation above are playing twister with possible interpretations. The grammar just doesn’t work that way. No one ever says “I need to hit Andy for details” to mean, I need to contact him. It’s “I need to hit him UP for details”. The list probably isn’t meant seriously, just sarcastically, but the only reasonable interpretation of “hit” is in fact “to strike.”

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  32. Soon. Soon...*

    I have a list of People To Feed To The Aliens When The Mothership Lands but I sure don’t keep it on a work computer. (not least because my list goes back decades)

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  33. Axel*

    My hesitation with #1 and just sort of disregarding it as blowing off steam or an unfortunate name is that unlike LW1’s stupid meetings list, I’m failing to see what the practical purpose for the People To Hit list could be aside from an expression of hostility with a title that is perhaps hyperbolic but is still an expression of a desire for violence. Given the person’s other tendencies towards aggression and combativeness I would be deeply alarmed by this, but maybe that’s because I entered schooling and the workplace entirely in a post-Columbine world and the spectre of mass shootings is constantly pressing on my shoulders. Even if it’s nothing, a list of people a combative, aggressive person feels violently towards, enough that they felt the need to *write out a list,* is enough of a red flag that I’d feel the need to alert SOMEONE about it.

    To me it’s just not comparable to “stupid notes” or “dumb meetings” in terms of document title. Hyperbolic expressions of violence are different than “stupid” or “useless” and there is *no* practical purpose for this list. It’s not the same thing, and it needs to be treated with more seriousness than general workplace frustration. The risk is just too high, even if it’s not likely this actually will become a workplace violence incident and if someone followed up with this individual taking it seriously it would at least impress upon him how serious the spectre of workplace violence is and that this is not an appropriate thing to do. I get that the LW knows this person better than we do, but that would be enough to give me massive anxiety going to work from that point forward if I saw it on the computer of a combative, aggressive coworker.

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  34. Juicebox Hero*

    I once had a really horrible interview where the interviewer made it plain from the get go that I was wasting her time. I was desperate to get out of a horrible retail job so I prepped like crazy.

    She told me she didn’t care about my reasons, answered her phone for a not very urgent sounding call in the middle of it, and on the tour of the place she plain vanished before we were a quarter of the way through. Her assistant was super-nice and obviously felt sorry for me. It was the most soul-poisoning thing I’ve ever endured, and I ugly cried when I finally got home.

    It took years to realize that it didn’t matter what her reasons were and that working for a shithead like her would have been the worst, but in the short term it stopped my job search cold.

    Oh, and she misspelled my last name on the rejection letter when it came 5 weeks later.

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  35. Cacofonix*

    To be fair, if I saw meeting notes on screen entitled “Stupid 7am Meeting” from one of my employees, I’d be following up. Call it what you want. If it was a mistake to show it, okay, just be more careful. If not, it’s a fairly significant transgression that I’d dig into. I insisted that my team turn off pop up chats and notifications and turn off unnecessary apps and tabs on zoom calls for anyone outside our team and especially with clients for all kinds of reasons. We were constantly sharing screens; they knew it would be an issue given that rule.

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  36. I'm just here for the cats!!*

    I disagree with #2. unless everyone’s desks were pictured it sounds like the boss only took pictures of desks they found to be messy. That’s the boss saying the OP is messy, but it is really just cluttered from the computer cords. If this was a new letter I would tell them to go to the boss and ask for suggestions to keep the cords tidy.

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  37. megaboo*

    I think you would have to know Tony’s sense of humor. I feel like my active shooter training points out these things as problematic. That probably sounds paranoid, but it would be a red flag for me.

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  38. LoraC*

    LW#1
    My first assumption is that it’s shorthand for people I need to “hit up” or follow up with. I’ve also definitely been tempted to hit those same people as they don’t respond when I require their input, so I could see someone dropping the “up” part as a bit of dark humor.

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  39. Jellyfish Catcher*

    It Happens: one day in our office of all women, a very large male came in, looked at one of the young women and began screaming, pointing and waving that she was “now his.”
    We got it taken care of, without injuries or assault – but after that, the office door (with safety glass) was locked, with an intercom to speak with people first.

    The third cause of death on the job in the US is murder.

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    1. AnonymousParent*

      I feel greatly for you. My kid is alive and I’m grateful every day. None of it seems lighthearted or funny to me.

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  40. AnonymousParent*

    It may seem innocuous for a disgruntled employee to act out in what may seem silly ways, until said employee makes his “hit” list a horrific reality. It happened at my grown kid’s work place and we will never be over it. Tell HR every single time. You saw it on the news. Happy and safe New Year’s all. See something, say something is real.

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  41. Rae*

    #3 When my supervisor gives me a document with multiple authors and asks me to review it, she wants me to make any edits I see fit and send it back to her complete. I think I asked the first time, but yeah anything that saves time – do it.

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  42. Raida*

    2. My director sent around a photo of my messy desk

    Personally I would have sent the image of my just desk to my director and said “What, specifically, do you want changed? Do I need to get some kind of cover so the cables aren’t visible?”

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  43. Earliest*

    #3 – I too work for a government agency and have to do proofreading/editing on ridiculous unintelligible redlined documents too. I’ve learned a few things the hard way. Here are a few ways I do things that may or may not be relevant.

    – in this specific case I think probably the kind of thing your boss was looking for is a listing of bullet points in an email regarding the most egregious stuff (for example, “this datum is not correct,” or “this point is at odds with law and our agency’s stated policy,” etc.).The best thing is to list out these points and then ideally follow up on them with your boss in a conversation later. Be sure to read the document with the “No Markup” filter on under the Review tab.

    – alternatively, I have developed a detailed method of version control/editing for documents. Sometimes what happens in these scenarios is that no one really owns a particular document and it turns into a hellish versioning monster with 10 different edits overlaid. In that case, I have learned the hard way that the best method *for my workplace culture* is to push our team to the clean version so the damn thing can just get done, while maintaining the trail we took to get there. I do this by the following:
    —> establish a working folder for the document. Establish an “Archive” folder within that file for the old versions.
    —> use a version of the following naming convention: “YYYY.MM.DD [File Name] v.1”
    —> when the document goes out for a round of edits, there’s a point at which it has a million comments and redlines. At that point you have a meeting with the regular decision makers (unless you can resolve by email) and make decisions about open issues. Log decisions as comments/make edits in redline according to decisions in doc.
    —> at that point, when it’s done, make a copy of the doc. Move one copy to Archive; update the date and version of the second copy in the filename. The filename title will be ending “_redline” and that will be your nightmare version – it will be a copy of the previous versions with all redlines/comments. Then you will save as another version, titled ending “_clean,” and which will have all decided comments closed out or deleted and the major edits accepted (also minor cleanup formatting changes complete – depending on your level of authority you may also want to make your own minor, non-substantive syntactical edits in redline because usually 10 people redlining on top of each other leads to nonsense soup prose – I have some credibility/expertise to make these kinds of changes but ymmv). Then circulate both versions with the decision making group.
    —> repeat until everyone is exhausted, they all finish fighting with each other, and you have a clean version that the most important people have signed off on.

    I know that this chain of work seems *completely* insane, especially in light of cloud documents. The reason for this is because when you are working in a government agency, especially on policy documents that contain a set of basically political decisions, this process helps you document who made each decision, why, and when – which actually becomes kind of important when you are trying to implement the dang thing, or justify why you did certain things to external stakeholders, etc. This method also lets you have a moment to do a holistic review by a single person of the document as a whole for formatting, syntax, organization, which these types of documents typically badly need, without stepping on too many people’s toes or doing anything irrevocable. Plus it helps you push towards actually resolving things and getting a clean, signed-off final document, which ultimately is the only work product leadership really cares about.

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  44. Librarian*

    For OP#1 and all, please don’t do any of this on a work computer. As a manager, I have dealt with so many jokes, funny titles, asides in work communications, on work computers, that turned into gigantic things and only harmed the person who was venting, thought they were being funny and everyone would get it, or just didn’t know how electronic communications work. This included jokes about who was in “that time of the month” or “needed serious medication” or was “on drugs.” I sat in a tear-filled meeting with a union rep when an employee wrote a venting letter about her boss that she never intended to send, but then saved it to a shared drive accidentally (and the whole department had shown each other before they told me it was there). Think that people need to be smacked in the head, because they are being frustrating beyond comprehension, just don’t say it at work in any form.

    Reply ↓

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