my office is overrun with corporate buzzwords

by Alison Green on January 30, 2025

A reader writes:

Recently in my office, corporate buzzwords have picked up like crazy among my colleagues. Sometimes it feels like senior management’s entirely vocabulary is only buzzwords. In a presentation last week, for example, a director said that a “new piece of work is a runway to manifest our brand value proposition.” What does that mean?

Now my peers are using the same buzzwords in presentations, and they’re seeping into meetings and conversations. Another example that makes my eye twitch: Suddenly everyone is using the word “solutioning,” as in, “Thanks, Matt, for solutioning our IT request.” You know. Like a detective solutions a murder.

I’m all for language evolving, but morale is poor right now and there’s been a lot of water-cooler griping about senior leaders acting inauthentically. I think buzzwords may be contributing to this. When senior leadership’s talking a lot but not saying anything, it doesn’t make anyone feel that what we do has much real-world value.

I’m sick to death of conversations that don’t mean anything and waste everyone’s time. Am I overthinking this, or is it something I should address? If so, what’s the best way to do it?

I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

Other questions I’m answering there today include:

  • Should I correct clients who call me “Mrs.”?
  • Can I talk to multiple acquaintances about the same job at my old employer?
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{ 293 comments }

{ 293 comments… read them below or add one }

      1. juliebulie*

        I think this is key. I’ve been surrounded by buzzwords and marketing jargon since the previous century, but I can still tell whether or not something makes sense in plain English.

        I do remember when “proactive,” which is a legitimate word, was used so excessively by everyone that it meant literally nothing.

        Reply ↓
        1. Charlotte Lucas*

          Back in college, it was the name of the acne-treating soap my dermatologist had me use.

          Always my first image when I hear the word.

          Reply ↓
      2. Kes*

        I feel like the real time to worry is if you start using it outside of work. A while ago I was messaging a friend and said I’d reach out to another friend, then I stopped and was like wait is that jargon??

        Reply ↓
        1. MigraineMonth*

          I can handle most jargon, as long as it has an understood definition. “Reach out”, “touch base”, “circle back” and similar… yeah, they’re jargon, but at least they’re pretty common and I know what you mean. “Solutioning” is annoying when the word “solving” exists, but I have definitely committed worse crimes against the English language and I’m already accustomed to picking up a lot of tech jargon.

          If you start talking about “the brand value of manifesting a paradigm shift”, I strongly suspect you and I don’t have the same definition for those words and communication has failed. I’m going to have to ask you to explain what that means in words we both understand, which is obnoxious if all you meant was “if we change this we make more money”.

          Reply ↓
    2. DoD contractor*

      I came from academia to working as an external contractor for DoD projects, and just kept a running list of acronyms to ask my boss about after every call (5 years in and I still occasionally encounter new ones…). The best was discussing how person A’s role was as a SME [subject matter expert] supporting important person B. Since this sounded like “A is a smee supporting B” when said out loud, I thought this was some kind of Peter Pan reference to Captain Hook and his 1st mate Mr. Smee, and was disappointed to learn the actual meaning.

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      1. Wendy Darling*

        I know what SME stands for and have for years and yet every time I hear it out loud I allow myself to imagine the person as a little pirate henchman.

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          2. Tired Fed*

            “Smee” takes less effort.

            Also, we like our acronyms to sound like words. because that makes them *cooler*.

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        3. Charlotte Lucas*

          I always imagine Mr. Smee, and I think SMEs should be required to wear stripey stocking caps to meetings.

          Reply ↓
      2. Jay (no, the other one)*

        I’m a retired (therefore not particularly young) doc and I recently started working per diem in a job where much of my time is spent reading other people’s notes. I keep a browser window open to look up the ridiculous number of acronyms and abbreviations I run into that I have never seen before. It is entirely possible to have a sentence made up entirely of abbreviations/acronyms, conjuctions, preposition, and articles.

        Reply ↓
        1. HannahS*

          I am behind on my documentation and was just thinking wistfully about the notes I got to write on general surgery, which were simply: “AAO, BSNT, BS+, fl.+, pain -, BM 29/01/2025. CCM.”

          Meaning of course, “Alert and oriented, bowel soft and non-tender, bowel sounds presents, flatus present, no pain, last bowel movement yesterday. Continue current management.”

          The hours sucked, but that part was nice.

          Reply ↓
        2. Nightengale*

          In med school (early 2000s) I kept lists of acronyms with multiple meanings. It started first year when my own PCP ordered an SMA7 and I knew I had muscle weakness but didn’t think I fit the profile for spinal muscular atrophy.

          GF meant, in ONE WEEK, “girl friend” (lecture on adolescent medicine, “growth factor” (cell bio) and “gluten free” (can’t remember why this came up)

          On my ENT rotation (which one time I saw written in a chart as ORL – oto-rhino-laryngology – “BMT” meant “bilateral myringostomy tube” in the AM and “bone marrow transplant” in the PM on the same day

          But the cake was taken when I developed type 1 diabetes and helpfully, I thought, brought a typed list of meds and diagnoses to the hospital when I realized I needed to be admitted. I didn’t quite understand why they were doing an EKG but then the resident asked about my chest pain. I knew her from rotations earlier that year. I told her I wasn’t having any chest pain. She said she was sure she had read somewhere, chest pain. Finally I asked if she had read the words, “chest pain” or the acronym, “CP.” And that is how I had an EKG run on me for cerebral palsy.

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      3. metadata minion*

        I’ve seen this as an acronym many times, mostly here, but since it’s not really a term in my field I had no idea it was pronounced “smee” instead of s-m-e. Thank you for that delightful mental image!

        In libraries we have ORCID, which is an identifier for researchers so you can distinguish which of the 237 R. Smiths wrote that article. People are split about 50/50 on whether it’s homophonic with “orchid” or pronounced orc-ID, and the latter always gives me visions of Tolkien orcs presenting at scientific conferences.

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        1. Baldrick*

          Like everything, there are different ways of pronouncing it. I prefer Smee for obvious reasons, but occasionally hear s-m-e.

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        2. FashionablyEvil*

          Personally, I prefer orc-ID because of the Tolkien allusion, but I think “orchid” is going to eventually win out.

          My field also uses SME and I regularly hear both S-M-E and “smee.”

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          1. RedinSC*

            If I say it, I will usually say S-M-E

            but mostly I only write it after first spelling out subject matter expert. When I’m talking to people or about people, I usually say they’re the subject matter expert for this question….

            Reply ↓
        3. Elitist Semicolon*

          Acronyms that shouldn’t be pronounced as words: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, or…PNAS.

          (Guy in my lab did it anyway. Results were consistent with his hypothesis.)

          Reply ↓
          1. DoD contractor*

            I’m a social scientist and there’s a very commonly used measure of mood/emotion called the Positive Affectivity/Negative Affectivity Scales (PANAS, pronounced pan-ass). There’s a short form called the “tiny PANAS”.

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            1. RedinSC*

              OMG, currently in our corporate jargon is High Activity High Alignment, so when I talk about this I do refer to HAHA

              OK, for our HAHA objectives (sooooo much corporate speak…so much)

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          2. Helen Waite*

            I’d bet their yearly report is called the Annals of the National Academy of Sciences. Because some people love coming up with those kinds of acronyms.

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          3. Lily Rowan*

            I’ve never been so relieved as when I learned that people say the German development agency GIZ as “gee eye zed,” not “jizz”!

            Reply ↓
        4. DoD contractor*

          Weirdly, I think of the system as “logging in to orchid” and my actual identifier as my “orc-ID” (“Ugh, before I can submit this paper I’ll need to log into orchid to look up my Orc-ID.”)

          Reply ↓
      5. bamcheeks*

        Wait, you lot PRONOUNCE SME as smee?!? We use SME a lot to mean small-medium enterprise, but we pronounce it ess-em-ee!

        Reply ↓
        1. DoD contractor*

          DoD land seems big on pronouncing acronyms when they can:
          Human Rights Protection Office [oversight of DoD funded human subjects research], HRPO, pronounced as “Herp-Oh” or “Harp-Oh” (I prefer the latter for the Marx brother vibe)
          Plan of Action and Milestones [project timeline], POAM, pronounced “Poh-Am”
          Course of Action [plan], COA, pronounced to rhyme with Boa (constrictor)

          So you can say things like “Based on input from our smee, I think we’ve identified a revised coa but we’ll need to account for review by harpo in the updated poham.”

          Reply ↓
          2. Crilyne*

            My personal favorite is the Defense Medical Human Resources System-internet (DMHRSi), which is pronounced “dimmer-sigh”

            Reply ↓
            1. Charlotte Lucas*

              Back when I worked on Tricare benefits, we sometimes had to refer to the Service Point of Contact, pronounced Spock. This was a person who was assigned to the Vulcan Unit.

              Reply ↓
        2. Anon in Aotearoa*

          I worked in a bank’s IT department. We had subject matter experts in dealing with small to medium enterprises. That’s right, we had SME SMEs.

          Reply ↓
      7. MigraineMonth*

        I was very confused at the team meetings at my new job at a tech company, because everyone kept suggesting AI. It was a terrible idea for our department, since we worked on performance-critical software; any type of machine learning or, heaven forbid, LLM would just make us incredibly slow and inefficient. Yet none of the really smart people in the meetings brought that up.

        Someone eventually suggested AI for the area I was learning, and I said I thought it was a bad idea and a waste of time to implement artificial intelligence in that area. Everyone stared at me in confusion for a second before someone clarified that they were using the abbreviation AI–at a company that did groundbreaking work in computer artificial intelligence–to mean an “action item” that someone should follow up with after the meeting.

        Reply ↓
      8. Amy Purralta*

        Problem is it depends where you work as SME can mean Subject Matter Expert or Small and Medium Enterprise! I have a massive spreadsheet I keep up to date I was given by an ex Manager who has worked in the armed forces and healthcare. I’ve worked in Healthcare, Education, Construction, and Manufacturing in both the public and private sectors. It amazing how many things the same acronym can stand for!

        Reply ↓
        1. Charlotte Lucas*

          I work in a government health agency. It is alphabet soup.

          Fun fact: Medicare and Medicaid often have similar acronyms that stand for different things.

          Medicare has more than one acronym pronounced “ship.”

          Reply ↓
    3. RedinSC*

      Here’s a government speak, direct quote: Through the lens of Targeted Universalism, you’ll learn a practical framework for driving equitable outcomes.

      Reply ↓
        1. RedinSC*

          Well, see, I only speak English and Spanish as well! I read this email to my colleagues and they, as one said, WHAT?!?!

          AND they asked me to give up my lunch break (as in, attend this but not on the clock).

          Reply ↓
          1. Lenora Rose*

            I can follow the second half, which says a lot about what i do lately, but no idea what the first part means…

            Reply ↓
          2. JSPA*

            here’s how I’d parse it.

            “By avoiding jargon, elite references and gender, religion, wealth, culture and/or race-based presumptions, and instead sticking to shared terminology and universal aspects of humanexperience, you can be systematically inclusive.” It’s wild that the title itself is the opposite of what it’s supposed to teach… but, yeah, pretty sure this is “what are you doing over the winter break” vs “what are you and your husband doing for Christmas, oops, I forgot you’re not Christian and that you’re married to another woman.”

            and for

            “new piece of work is a runway to manifest our brand value proposition” that either means

            “every time you start a new project (or when you start this specific new project) you should treat it as a chance to make our company look good, and also emphasize that we give good value for money”

            or

            “every time you start a new project (or when you start this specific new project) you should treat it as a chance to make our company look good, and also emphasize the core values in our mission statement” (i.e. building and playing to a brand identity).

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    1. cleo*

      I also highly recommend comedian Lisa Beasley’s Corporate Erin videos on TikTok and Instagram for a brilliant skewering of corporate jargon.

      Reply ↓
      1. Sam I Am*

        Corporate Erin is great, as is @nicoleolive, her non-profit counterpart (look for the “Nonprofit Boss” videos).

        Reply ↓
      1. ferrina*

        Yes indeed!

        I knew I was truly fluent in jargon when I could fully translate Mission Statement without pausing the song.

        Reply ↓
  3. Apex Mountain*

    Buzzwords or jargon never bothered me. We all know what they mean anyway and in the end who really cares if someone says solutioning instead of solving.

    I’d pick the more impactful battles to fight and let this one go.

    Reply ↓
    1. Elbe*

      I don’t mind them, either, when they’re used sparingly. But when several are stacked together in the same sentence (like the example from the director), I find it genuinely hard to understand what is meant.

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    2. I should really pick a name*

      I think part of the point is that in some circumstances they DON’T know what the jargon means.

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      1. Betty Beep Boop*

        And occasionally the point is that they don’t WANT anyone to be able to pin down exactly what they meant.

        As an editor (and a person): there are two kinds of jargon.

        One is terms of art: to pick a well-known example there is a real difference between a mean, a median, and an average.

        The other is the sloppy “oh everyone is saying it and I’m not exactly sure what it means but it makes me sound like the hot-shots” stuff.

        Mostly that’s just annoying, but when someone starts talking like they eat airport books for breakfast about something that’s actually critical be alert for the feeling of large numbers whooshing by real fast, lest you discover too late that they “solutioned” it by transferring the problem to a different department’s budget without telling anyone they were doing it.

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        1. Strive to Excel*

          Deliberately overcomplicating the messaging is a known fraud tactic, actually. Enron pulled that on quarterly earnings calls.

          Reply ↓
          1. Betty Beep Boop*

            Yup. It’s good practice where you have the capital to periodically stop people and make them repeat themselves slower and in small words, just to be in the way of it when you smell trouble and really need to look someone in the eye and say “Do what now?”

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            1. Ella Minnow Pea*

              As another editor, it makes me craziest when people invent new words to replace perfectly good ones. I once had a colleague who insisted on saying things were “decisioned.” Or, you know, decided.

              As a human, don’t get me started on the takeover of “gifted” instead of “gave,” as in “She gifted me a llama grooming kit.”

              Reply ↓
              1. Leenie*

                “Decisioned” is awful. But I don’t actually mind the “gifted” thing, now that I’m used to it. I don’t use it myself, as it would feel like an affectation coming from me. But I’ve noticed that there’s a nuance in the way that it’s used, compared to the more generic “gave”. No one is ever going to say, “The cop gifted me a parking ticket.”

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          2. Jam on Toast*

            I 100% agree @Strive to Excel.

            Academia is another field that is rife with disingenuous writers who compose word salads that are intentionally written to disguise the real purpose or implications of weak, unproven arguments and ideas. People who do this usually want to make themselves look smarter and their audience feel dumber. The unending intellectual one-upmanship is so petty and off-putting and I hate it!

            Twenty years in higher ed has also taught me that the smartest, most proficient experts in a field can explain their work and its impacts clearly and succinctly to any level audience because they understand their work inside and out.

            Now, at the first hint of bafflegab, my ABSA* just starts flashing and wailing and I check out.
            *Academic Bull Sh*t Alarm :)

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        2. Falling Diphthong*

          In a past discussion here, I learned that “evergreen” is a bit of jargon in many fields, but means something different in each one.

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        3. ferrina*

          Well said! I’ve worked with several executives and wanna-be hotshots who parroted jargon to try to sound in the know. Often, even they didn’t know what they were saying. I’m fluent in Corporate Jargon, so I would often act as translator between execs and the people who actually had to do things (and I could tell when there was actual items to address vs when the execs were spewing words to convince themselves that they were smart).

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    3. dz*

      I don’t think buzzword or jargon is really the right term here. I call it MBA-speak, and it’s a kind of space-filling babble that actually does obscure meaning. It’s used to make the speaker seem important, and it impedes communication because it makes people zone out. It’s the verbal equivalent of lorem ipsum.

      Reply ↓
      1. Dee Zine*

        Yes, 100% agree with this. All the worst offenders I’ve worked with cannot actually say what they mean in plain speech, because they don’t actually know, and they’re afraid to admit it.

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      2. Cease and D6*

        At minimum, it conveys that the person speaking is too interested in how what they’re saying sounds, possibly at the expense of the meaning of what they are saying. You’d think the same if these people started doing all and only their business presentations in iambic pentameter – by forcing themselves to speak unnaturally for show, they’re showing that they prioritize the form over the content.

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    4. Wendy Darling*

      I completely agree and yet I have to consciously restrain myself from peeving about a few things. “Solutioning” drives me bonkers because for some reason we have gone to all the trouble of making a new verb when “solve” was right there the whole time. We do not need solutioning we have solve at home!

      I also have a lot of feelings about how “thought leadership” is the toxic outgrowth of the obsession with branding and is less of an obnoxious bit of jargon and more of a symptom of late-stage capitalism destroying everything. But I do not talk about those things at my corporate finance-adjacent job for obvious reasons.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lemons*

        It’s gone beyond the workplace, but my biggest peeve is omitting “to be”, as in, “this needs done.” ARG. TO BE DONE.

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          1. Lemons*

            Makes sense, I first heard it when I moved to a new region, but interestingly I’ve ONLY ever heard it in workplaces.

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        2. metadata minion*

          Oh, interesting, has that migrated into corporate-speak? I think of that as a particular regionalism! I actually came across a book of articles on regional English variants a few weeks ago with one on that particular construction titled “This syntax needs analyzed” ;-)

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        3. Pixel*

          This is not jargon, this is a regional dialect, and it’s been used for centuries. This has to do with cultural and linguistic diversity, not capitalism or corporate business.

          Reply ↓
        4. Dinwar*

          This is just normal linguistic evolution. People are, generally, lazy, and things that make language harder to use are frequently dropped. Sounds that are harder to make are replaced by sounds easier to make (listen to someone say “bye” sometime–which is a short version of “goodbye” which is itself a shortened version of “God by with you”). Similarly, as seen in my parenthetical above, people tend to drop words that are considered useless. “This needs to be done” doesn’t provide any more information than “This needs done”, and the latter saves several syllables and drops some relatively difficult sounds. (To be clear, I’m not saying any of these sounds ARE difficult, just that some sounds, and combinations of sounds, are harder than others.)

          To give some examples of what I’m talking about: “This needs done” is all done with your tongue in roughly the same part of the mouth, the sounds all flow into each other, and there is limited lip movement; “this needs to be done” requires you to go from the “s” to the “t” sound, the “e” sound makes the tongue move more, and the phrase requires larger lip movements.

          Had a lot of fun with this with my constructed language. There are a lot of parts of any natural language that simply don’t make sense from an exterior perspective. Turns out there are a lot of things in English that are redundant and can easily be removed without sacrificing comprehensibility.

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        5. Cyndi*

          Agreeing that this is a regionalism and not corporate-speak by origin; I first heard it from (and still knee-jerk associate it with) an ex from North Carolina.

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        7. Part time lab tech*

          I’d say “this needs doing” or “to be done”. Occasionally, I might use “to get DONE” if I wanted to emphasise it’s importance by using slight awkwardness to make the statement stand out.
          I don’t think “needs done” is used in my part of the world. (Australia)

          Reply ↓
      2. Putting the Dys in Dysfunction*

        The same thing happened from “giving” –> “gifting”.

        I know that this is now standard usage for much of the English-speaking world, and that language by its very nature continually finds new words and forms to replace old ones, but even so I can’t avoid wincing each time.

        Reply ↓
        1. Scholarly Publisher*

          “Authored” is the one I wince at. I recognize that it is a legitimate usage and distinct from “wrote” — “X authored a book” implies that the book has been published, while “X wrote a book” also applies to X’s unpublished manuscript. It still annoys me.

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        2. MigraineMonth*

          When I was a teenager, I looked up the grammatically correct usage of “nauseous” and was scrupulous in its usage. The rotten fruit is nauseous; I am nauseated. I carried this covenant with myself for over a decade.

          This has never made any difference whatsoever to anybody and I’m certain the English language has evolved to the point that it never will.

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        3. Lenora Rose*

          This is actually a case of extra refinement; things can be given that aren’t gifted (Obvious ones: Suzie gave me her cold, I gave the dog a bath), so gifting is a specific subset not a replacement. We can debate whether it’s necessary (I vote no), but it’s not the same as creating a word, like “solutioning”, that has NO practical difference from “solving”.

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    5. Saturday*

      I think it’s silly to make a verb out of solution when we already have a word for that, but I don’t worry too much about it. But if someone said, “a runway to manifest our brand value proposition,” like in LW’s example, that would slow down understanding, and I would find that annoying.

      Reply ↓
      1. Apex Mountain*

        I think I’d have to contain myself from laughing because it would be impossible to believe someone could say that seriously

        Reply ↓
      2. merida*

        Agreed!! One of my pet peeves from a previous job was hearing the phrase “we need to right-size the budget to fit to scope of the project” and realizing they just meant… adjust. Adjust the budget. They were asking our boss to increase the budget for an important project, but I had to do mental gymnastics to get there. Making up words when there is already a word makes us all sound silly.

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      3. bamcheeks*

        “Brand value proposition” is a technical marketing term that you can google! I’ve worked adjacemt to marketing long enough that I couldn’t define it into it looking it up but I know the basic idea.

        Reply ↓
    6. Trillian*

      If you have not done so, read Orwell’s “Politics and the English Language”, and what he has to say about ready made phrases doing your thinking for you.

      Reply ↓
    7. Firm Believer*

      You clearly have never had someone say, I’m going to socialize these ideas and get feedback. I mean, I cannot. Can’t you just say I’m going to share?

      I absolutely hate jargon.

      Reply ↓
      1. Grenelda Thurber*

        I heard that term years ago from a marketing professional. I still don’t know exactly what she meant.

        Reply ↓
      2. penny dreadful analyzer*

        They’re going to have the government take over the ideas so that they are publicly owned and financed?

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    8. Moths*

      As some others here have pointed out, for me it depends on the usage. There’s some jargon that I don’t mind. “Put a pin in it” “Circle back” things like that I actually find useful and pretty much everyone knows what they mean. You don’t have to like their use, but I find them a handy way to express something in just a few words that might have taken more to say otherwise.

      However, I worked for a while with someone who used jargon and buzzwords to speak a lot without ever saying anything and it drove me nuts. He’d present these grand plans that we’d have to sit through listening to, which would have no substance to them at all, then we’d be responsible for enacting said plans and when we tried to nail him down on anything, he’d disappear or speak around it again. Then if something wasn’t successful, he claimed deniability because he never actually had done anything. That type of use of jargon and buzzwords are the worst!

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    9. Lab Snep*

      I had a manager say “We have to do PDSA” and I said “Does that stand for “Pretty damn stupid acronym?””

      Probably not a smart thing to blurt out, but this was a terrible manager.

      Apparently it meant “Plan Say Do Act” which means even less sense to me.

      Reply ↓
  4. HonorBox*

    I’ve run into the same situation presented in letter 3. In those cases, I’ve proactively offered that I’ve had multiple people ask similar questions. That allows me to hint to people that the conversation shouldn’t be seen as an endorsement of their candidacy and that I’m not providing them information exclusively.

    Reply ↓
  5. Radioactive Cyborg Llama*

    Literally laughed out loud at that quote. but then had eye twitching at “solutioning.” I can hardly even type that.

    Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      I may have spent too long in programming, because that is far from the worst crime against English I’ve seen today.

      There’s a general rule of thumb that object names should be nouns, which seems like it should be straightforward until it’s implemented by busy people who aren’t great at writing. It’s common to come across an object name that is the nounified form of a verbified form of a noun.

      Reply ↓
  6. Elbe*

    Maybe the LW could ask a member of senior management to be the change agent that does some idea harvesting to solution this pain point so that there’s a paradigm shift that empowers employees to focus on mission critical deliverables.

    Reply ↓
      1. Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman*

        We will need to upskill our value proposition to enable wholistic development management.

        Reply ↓
  7. dz*

    A few of my coworkers have a private collaboration page where we collect these absurd phrases that are said in meetings. It keeps us sane.

    Reply ↓
    1. dz*

      – Correctify
      – We need to action that ask
      – The real bespoke adventure will begin when innovators marry data, AI, and custom
      – Cascade knowledge to your peer networks
      – Learnings
      – Pharmerging markets (pharma anywhere other than the USA)
      – Client revenue journey
      – Driving stakeholder alignment
      – Career patching
      – Bringing our compensation philosophy to life

      Reply ↓
        1. H*

          Ones I have noticed repeated- “kudos” “growing pains” “shout out” “SOP” “potential outputs” “thread the needle” “singing from the same sheet of music” “lock step” “healthy feedback” “wide reach”

          Reply ↓
          1. Strive to Excel*

            I classify half those as nonsense but the other half aren’t jargon. Growing pains, thread the needle, and lockstep are all standard english expressions. They *become* jargon if you don’t define *how* your business is having growing pains but that’s a different problem.

            Reply ↓
            1. H*

              Thread the needle is used at least 3 times in most meetings in a very vague way. It also reminds me of doing yoga where you “thread the needle”.

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        2. Heidi*

          Career patching sounds like it could be a real thing – like when you are between jobs and you take a volunteer position to career patch the gap.

          Reply ↓
        3. ecnaseener*

          Patch notes for career v1.0.7:

          – fixed bug in coworker interactions causing unpredictable behavior
          – adjusted drop rate of emails
          – fixed overflow error causing motivation to drop to zero at clock-in

          Reply ↓
        1. Kes*

          That’s the one that got me. It feels like something Galinda would say in Wicked lol.

          To me it’s actually worse that solutioning because solutioning can have a bit of nuance from solving (I often see this used more specifically as the step of taking a problem and determining the correct solution)

          Reply ↓
        2. Grenelda Thurber*

          My personal favorite: “Mandatory requirements,” followed closely by “my truth” as if truth is a variable thing.

          Reply ↓
      7. Maxi Moon*

        – granular
        – silo/siloed
        – actionable
        – synthesis/synthesize
        – being tasked with…
        – pain point
        – touchpoint/touch base
        THE WORST

        Reply ↓
        1. Big BaDaBoom*

          I have a team member that for the more than a decade I’ve known her says “touch basis”. At first, hearing her say it on calls, I thought she was saying “touch bases” which seemed a minor misunderstanding of the colloquialism but then I saw her write it as “touch basis” in emails.

          Reply ↓
      8. merida*

        ah I love this!! At a former job, a coworker and I had a similar list to keep us sane. Makes me laugh but also, why are companies all so similar with this??

        Reply ↓
        1. MigraineMonth*

          It’s amazing! Especially with “custom” tacked on the end there, which definitely seems like the wrong part of speech.

          I have to ask, though, in what jurisdictions is an innovator to marrying data, AI, *and* custom not considered polygamy?

          Reply ↓
  9. Not a Dude*

    I don’t know that I’ve ever been referred to as “Mrs.” (my field just isn’t that formal), but I loathe being called “guys” (and “dude”). I never say anything about it and it doesn’t fester, but it definitely makes me cringe.

    Reply ↓
    1. Double A*

      As a (female) Californian, I’d like to say “dude” had evolved to now be a gender-neutral part of our culture used to signal casual speech and affection for our subject e.g. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened today!” said to your female friend.

      (I’m kind of kidding. But we do use it in a gender neutral way, more than “guys.” I will call female friends “dude” whereas I wouldn’t refer to a singular female as “guy.”)

      Reply ↓
      1. Dasein9 (he/him)*

        I’ve seen a lot of Californians say this in the past few years.
        I’ve also seen a lot of Californians and non-Californians reply, “No, it’s gendered,” over the same number of years.

        You will, of course, choose your own words, but this is the type of thing that can create a rift between impact and intent, depending on the audience.

        Reply ↓
      2. Lenora Rose*

        Californians say this, and it’s often pointed out by the rest of us that even in California, “I banged this dude last night” does not land as gender neutral at all.

        There IS a gender neutral version, which is when it’s used as an exclamation (which IME isn’t always affectionate – “Dude!” shouted at someone who’s blocking the path isn’t either gendering the person OR affectionate, it’s exclaiming, and the intended text is “Hey, you, pay attention to what’s around you!” which is a lot longer to say.)

        If you can replace it with “Hey” (“Hey, you won’t believe what happened today!”) and still have a grammatical sentence, it’s usually safe to say it’s not gendered. But Californians keep trying to extend this to its other usage, which very much is.

        Reply ↓
      3. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

        Yes, it’s non-gendered in California and some other regions. It’s not non-gendered everywhere, or to everyone, and people move.

        And I’ve heard trans women, specifically, say that the term hurts them. So for me that’s reason enough to train myself out of using it in a gender-neutral fashion.

        Reply ↓
    2. Jay (no, the other one)*

      Hate that. HATE it. I know people will argue that “guys” is gender-neutral. They used to say that about using male pronouns as the default. Those are still gendered words and they do not accurately describe my gender. Our choir director calls us all “friends,” which I found a bit startling until I got used to it. Now I find it endearing – I’m one of the alto friends! I tend to say “folks” since I try to remember that even if I think everyone in the room is the same gender, I can’t know that for sure.

      On the other end of the scale is my mid-20s daughter tendency to call women “girlies” as in “Mom, you’re a real museum girlie.” I haven’t objected to it. I save my firepower for making sure she never, ever, ever adresses me as “b**ch.” Yes, I know you and your friends use it all the time and have reclaimed the term. Mama is not interested.

      Reply ↓
      1. Office Plant Queen*

        I think it really depends on where you are and where you grew up. “You guys” is exactly as gender neutral as “y’all” in regions where it is the plural you. I think that applies less to “guys” on its own, which is a lot more context dependent. If it could grammatically be replaced by “you” or “you guys” then yes, it reads 100% neutral if you grew up with it. I could walk into a room with three of my female friends, say “hey guys, what’s up?” and nobody would bat an eye at that. But I probably wouldn’t say “those guys are cool” when referring to a group of women, unless that group of women was an entity like a business. And “guy” (singular) is heavily male-coded.

        What I think is actually happening here is that “guys” has two different definitions, one as a pronoun and one as a regular noun. The pronoun is neutral while the noun is not. But lots of people only have the noun! And if you only have the noun, it’s really hard to shake the feeling that it’s always a gendered word. I’m not saying that’s wrong, by the way! Just that I’m pretty sure that’s where the disagreement comes from.

        And for what it’s worth, I have generally shifted my speech because I know it bothers some people. But if I’m around family and friends who I know are from the same place as me, I’m going to keep using it

        Reply ↓
      2. AL*

        I’m on board the train that’s moving “Girl/girlies” to gender-neutral territory.
        My social circle uses “Girl!” as an exclamatory in a similar way to “Dude!” – although it’s usually pronounced “Giiiiiiiirrrrrrl!” with some side-eye.

        I’ve also noticed this use of “girlies” – like “my nerd girlies” or “my museum girlies” in a way that implies a group of mixed-gender that likes a particular thing. It’s a “default to feminine” rather than “default to masculine” – so it’s not gender-neutral, but the opposite way than most other language.

        Reply ↓
    3. Saturday*

      I confess that I miss being able to say, “You Guys” like I did when I was younger. Nothing else seems to capture the sentiment for me. But I get it, lots of women don’t like it, so I won’t say it anymore.

      Reply ↓
        1. Saturday*

          I’m trying to get used to y’all. I’m not from an area where it’s used, and it just doesn’t sound as friendly to me, but I haven’t lost hope for it.

          Reply ↓
          1. The Real Bespoke Adventure*

            I’m from the south and I feel like in my region, ‘y’all’ and ‘you guys’ were used for different purposes – greetings like ‘hey y’all’ or group questions ‘y’all want some popcorn’ but ‘YOU GUYS, guess who just walked in??!?’ – you guys was more for emphasis. I would never have said ‘you guys want some popcorn,’ that sounds wrong, and ‘hey you guys’ was the start to The Electric Company show so also no. They were both seen as gender neutral but I get that people don’t like you guys and I don’t say it anymore (or more accurately I try not to).

            Reply ↓
        2. CJ*

          May I introduce you to my local regionalism “you all”? Just like y’all but you say both words.
          “Folks” works well where I used to say “guys”.
          “Dude” at the beginning of a sentence is an interjection and not a noun and you can’t change my mind.

          Reply ↓
      2. Grenelda Thurber*

        I grew up in a place where “you guys” always meant everyone here and didn’t really refer to gender at all. It would be hard remove from my vocabulary, but I do notice when I say it. Of course, we used “coke” to refer to any sweetened soda-type product too. I remember being asked what kind of coke I wanted as a kid. I don’t hear it so much these days.

        Reply ↓
        1. Office Plant Queen*

          I’m very curious where you’re from, because “coke” is pretty specifically southern, but “you guys” is generally midwest!

          Reply ↓
      3. Double A*

        “Everyone” also works, especially in a work setting. Also “folks.” Some people write “folx” which I don’t understand because folks is already gender-neutral.

        Some sentences where people might otherwise have said guys:
        “Hey everyone! Let’s get started.”
        “Those people over there.”
        “That group over there.”

        Reply ↓
        1. Lenora Rose*

          I think “folx” comes from the same impulse that created “lite”, rather than the gender-neutral x-usage.

          Reply ↓
          1. Charlotte Lucas*

            It always feels like someone misspelled “fox,” and that can make reading things so much more interesting.

            Reply ↓
      4. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

        Folks, everyone, y’all. I’m Midwestern but currently live in Maryland so while y’all isn’t *quite* local it’s still usable.

        Reply ↓
    4. Kes*

      I’ll admit, as a woman, I do use “hey guys” or “you guys”. I don’t think it’s ideal but the thing is I don’t have a good replacement for it. I know in some parts of the states “y’all” serves this function but I am not in an area where that is said and it would sound really weird if I tried.

      Reply ↓
    5. Jasmine Clark*

      I use “you guys” all the time to refer to mixed-gender groups and even all-female groups! It doesn’t make sense but I’m so used to using it. I really don’t think much of it. I don’t prefer to say “y’all” or “folks.” Nothing wrong with those words; they’re just words I happen to not say and so it would be unusual for me to start saying them. I sometimes say “you all” and “everyone,” but a lot of times, I say “you guys” even though I know it logically does not make sense.

      “Dude” for a woman? Sounds funny… I never call anyone “dude,” but it’s just a funny and lighthearted thing, so if someone called me that, I would be fine with it but think it’s a bit weird.

      Reply ↓
  10. SunnyShine*

    My co-workers and I use the buzzwords as a way to blow off steam. We’re making fun of the situation and the word. Kind of like us saying “opportunities” instead of “problems”. Any chance this is just people being silly?

    Reply ↓
    1. juliebulie*

      You can tell people are being silly when they carelessly say something during a meeting. It is when they put it in writing that you have to decide how silly they think they are.

      Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      I think if OP’s senior leadership is just being silly and blowing off steam when trying to communicate company objectives, there’s an even bigger problem than inauthenticity and jargon.

      Reply ↓
    3. Jasmine Clark*

      Saying “opportunities” instead of “problems” is actually meaningful. It’s not a buzzword. It’s an attempt to look at a bad situation in a more optimistic way, and I think that’s a good thing.

      Reply ↓
      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        I worked somewhere that used “opportunity” to mean “difficult or impossible task we’re assigning you because everyone else was somehow able to get out of it ”

        So I guess that shows some optimism that you think the person won’t quit on the spot.

        Reply ↓
  11. Diana Trout*

    corporate jargon annoys the shit out of me. I have been waiting to vent about this for years now!!

    I work in HR and I am so tired of hearing people say things like “we need to leverage our capabilities for maximum success”, or “were creating a best in class employee experience” (which 99% of the time is BS). I work in People Analytics so I could go on and on about anyone using the terms “data driven” or “data informed” or “were leveraging predictive analytics for (name initiative here) . Whenever I hear HR people talk like that I pretty much immediately roll my eyes because I have come to realize they often don’t really know what they are talking about.

    I have had managers actually tell me when I talk to them about their analytics that they understand it because I don’t use that jargon.

    Reply ↓
    2. Kes*

      I mean, some of that is really marketing-speak, where puffing things up is the point, and if used correctly I don’t know that I would consider “data-driven” or predictive analytics to be jargon, although I suppose they can be used as jargon in some places if they’re being used incorrectly as puff filler, which it sounds like is the case here.

      I think because the people leading companies tend to be involved in sales (and not just to customers, but also selling the company to employees), they’re used to speaking in sales/marketing speak and it then becomes part of the corporate culture in general

      Reply ↓
    3. Ama*

      “best in class” never fails to remind me of the time I “won” a dance competition because I was literally the only person entered in my specific age group +chosen discipline . If you pick a small enough subgroup it’s very easy to be the best.

      Reply ↓
      1. Georgia Carolyn Mason*

        Ha, we nominated a community partner for an award and they were super excited they won…I really liked their people, so I refrained from telling them there were no other entries, or that the person from the awarding org called us the day before the deadline and asked us to just nominate SOMEONE. Best in class!

        Reply ↓
    1. Empty water bottle*

      At the risk of preaching the obvious to the choir:

      SOLVE

      The infinitive y’all are looking for is “to solve!”

      “Thanks, Matt, for solving our IT request.”
      “The detective solves a murder.”

      Reply ↓
        1. Part time lab tech*

          I like guesstimate. To me it conveys the feeling of not having looked any figures up so don’t rely on it in a casual way. Estimate is a more formal scientific or accounting term.

          Reply ↓
  13. H*

    I have made it a game during meetings esp with my direct supervisor. I keep track and tally and then laugh about it with my friends later and I have gotten 2 colleagues involved as well who will text me what they notice as well. Yes, we are juvenile. But it is very inauthentic sounding.

    Reply ↓
  14. Ellis Bell*

    For the Ms instead of Mrs option, I think there’s a few options, because this stuff is so dependant on context. So my menu would include:
    1)”It’s Ms, not Mrs (pause for them to apologise or recognise)
    2)”It’s MsSmith, but anyway, as I was saying, the regulations prohibit this..(no pause, just go ahead with the interaction).
    3) “Oh! it’s actually Ms! I’ve never gone by Mrs, I actually think I was a Ms on my first day here, and I am definitely not ever changing it, so that’ll be easier ….(keep waffling until you see the daylight drain from their eyes).
    4) “It’s MsSmith to rhyme with FizzDip/TizzWhiff/WhizSniff/LizKith”.
    5) Alternate the above, deciding if you want to remind people every time or just once. If you want to do it every time, you might go with 2 as the least disruptive to your interactions, or 4 as the one most likely to be remembered with a few repeats. Use a different rhyme each time you remind them …. with a smile.

    Reply ↓
    1. Toads*

      I think Alison and Ellis Bell have lots of good options for this situation! It’s something I’ve wrestled with, too, and I’m still not very confident about how I want to handle it. In my case, it’s people defaulting to calling me “Miss LastName” (I’m in my mid-40s, I think they’re trying to be polite?) instead of Dr. LastName. Even though Dr. LastName is correct for me, it feels a little rude or awkward to ask that people call me that if they need to use my last name. These days, I usually go for a cheerful tone and say, “Oh, it’s Dr. LastName, but FirstName is also fine.” People still look at me like I’ve just announced that I play bridge with Bigfoot on Saturdays when I say that, though. And I know that the “it’s also fine to call me FirstName” won’t work for the LW, here. Ultimately, I feel like it’s okay (for all the reasons Alison named!) to ask to be called by the correct name and/or honorific for you. Wishing you the best, LW!

      Reply ↓
      1. MigraineMonth*

        I didn’t think I had a strong opinion on my title (it only comes up rarely) until the man at the DMV called me Miss Firstname and I had a full-body convulsive “no” reaction.

        (This wasn’t in the south. I have no idea why this person decided to address all the women this way.)

        Reply ↓
        1. Trick or Treatment*

          Dumb question alert: when said out loud, what is the difference between these? I think Mrs. is said like “Missis”, but I thought Ms. is also said the same as Miss? (Not a native speaker, and I always thought this was a very weird part of English.)

          Reply ↓
          2. Jasmine Clark*

            Not a dumb question! “Ms” and “Miss,” when said out loud, usually sound pretty much the same. They’re supposed to sound different though. “Ms” is supposed to have a “z” sound. But in the real world, most people don’t say that. And so “Ms” and “Miss” both sound like “Miss.”

            Reply ↓
      2. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

        I think asking for Dr comes across a bit differently than making the Mrs / Ms distinction (I’m a married woman with a PhD and would rather be called by literally any title other than Mrs – even, personally, misgendered as Mr) since it’s seen as a status thing. In a work context I’d correct to Ms – from a rude CSR who tries using Mrs I will insist on Dr, because if they are going to insist on a title I will ask they use the right one, and their “use Dr if asked” script probably overrides their “I see the marital status in my files and ZOMG THAT IS IMPORTANT socialization.

        Reply ↓
  16. 3-Foot Tall Inflatable Rainbow Unicorn*

    I wish I could remember the name of it, but there was a Doctor Who audio adventure where the villain spoke only in corporatese, culminating in the plea to her angry boss “But I’ve onboarded many key learnings!”

    Reply ↓
      1. 3-Foot Tall Inflatable Rainbow Unicorn*

        If I recall correctly, there wasn’t enough time left for her to correctify her momentum.

        Reply ↓
  17. Tech editor*

    McSweeneys has a recent article, “A marriage proposal spoken entirely in jargon”. I’ll add link in comment.

    Reply ↓
      1. Elsewise*

        I love that. I also genuinely am not sure if they got engaged or not by the end. Guess we’ll have to wait for the circle back!

        Reply ↓
  18. Strive to Excel*

    In the same vein – use less acronyms! And define them!

    I’ll name and shame myself here. I’m in accounting and we love us some acronyms. I didn’t realize how much until I got presented with essentially a paragraph of acronyms, read it, and thought “sure, that makes sense” completely unironically. Then I tried to present to our ops manager. That did not go well.

    Reply ↓
    2. LFG!*

      An old boss loved “let’s f*ing go!” as in, the thing video game streamers yell nonstop, so we put ‘LFG!’ on everything. It was funny to watch client-facing people struggle to answer clients asking what the acronym meant while staying professional/dignified.

      Reply ↓
      1. Jay (no, the other one)*

        Years ago (late 1980s) we were at the Deloach Winery in the Russian River Valley on a cold rainy Thursday afternoon. We were the only people in the tasting room and they had everything open because they had just had a group of buyers in. We had a great time tasting reserve wines that we could definitely not afford and chatting with the tasting room host. As he poured us tastes of their OFS Chardonnay, he asked if we knew what “OFS” stood for. We replied “Our Finest Selection.” He said “That’s what we tell the ATF. Before he started this winery, Cecil Deloach was an SF firefighter. It stands for ‘Out F*ing Standing.’ “

        Reply ↓
    4. Leia Oregano*

      I work in higher ed and we’re rife with acronyms. It’s so bad — I can have a fully intelligible conversation with mostly acronyms and the odd verb (thankfully most of our acronyms are not verb-able). New hires take notes on what they all mean until they get the hang of them all, and our orientation team literally publishes lists of acronyms and what they mean for incoming students! I’m definitely an offender here but at least they’re all real things that do have meaning?? We’re relatively low on the buzzword front, so maybe we even out in the end lol.

      Reply ↓
    5. bamcheeks*

      I’ve just started a new job, and was in a meeting where people kept turning and explaining the subject-matter acronyms to me (“NLFC — that’s the National Llama Farming Convention” yes I know! I’ve been to it six times!) and none of the internal organisational ones (“You’ll have to ask IDS to prepare the NNbs for you, but wait til after the HTS has been submitted” the what now.)

      Reply ↓
  19. 3-Foot Tall Inflatable Rainbow Unicorn*

    And then there is the great Terry Pratchett in Going Postal:

    “You had to admire the way perfectly innocent words were mugged, ravished, stripped of all true meaning and decency, and then sent to walk the gutter for Reacher Gilt, although “synergistically” had probably been a whore from the start.”

    Reply ↓
  20. Seriously?*

    My company recently hired a higher up. I went to a meeting and he showed up. He pretty much ONLY speaks in jargon. I knew what he meant and could answer, but it did feel like a way to exclude others or make them feel stupid. Maybe it’s the former middle school English teacher in me, but I firmly think speaking/writing simply but clearly is the way to go. Of course, this guy also went to a coworker (also female) who knows her job well and just talked down to her and told her how to do her job. These characteristics can go hand in hand.

    Reply ↓
  21. Amber Rose*

    My last company hired a consultant and suddenly everything was about future states and RACI charts and structural updates.

    At some point it just starts flowing around and over you. Like being swept up in a stream of hot air.

    Reply ↓
  22. Hotdog not dog*

    My former company had a “Decisioning Tool”. It was a flowchart. I am surprised that I managed not to be reprimanded over my response to my boss’ question, “Did you decision an outcome” for the TPS reports yet?
    “Yes, Fergus. I put them in the trash can.”

    Reply ↓
  23. Small mind*

    *rolls eyes* yes corporate jargon can be cringey but is it really the thing to get bent out of shape about?

    “what does that mean”

    it’s really not that hard to figure out.

    Reply ↓
    1. metadata minion*

      In many cases it *is* that hard if you’re not used to it. And while I can sit here and look at the example sentence and take the time to figure out what it means, if it was in a meeting I would be completely lost.

      Reply ↓
      1. Elbe*

        Agreed. When the jargon is stacked up in a single sentence, it’s a lot harder to translate it in real time.

        It’s also just obnoxious to make your coworkers put in the effort to translate what you’re trying to say. And, pretty much without exception, what you find when you translate jargon-heavy messages is that it’s the most basic tripe you’ve ever heard in your life.

        Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      I don’t mind the occasional “circle back” or “touch base”, but jargon is generally disliked because it is genuinely confusing until you have gotten used to it, and even afterwards it can be used to obscure the fact that an idea is simplistic, obvious, or just a lot of hot air.

      Corporate speak (distinct from terms of art for specific fields, which are sometimes important for accuracy) also puts up unnecessary communication barriers. It excludes people who are new to the white collar/business world, people who did not go to college/business school, people who have trouble rapidly learning lots of new words and phrases, and many people who are not native English speakers. Reading the examples of corporate speak I mostly understand them, but I’d struggle to do so in real-time even though I’m in every one of those privileged groups.

      I have a limited amount of focused mental energy to spend at work. I’d rather spend it actually doing the work, rather than trying to puzzle through what on earth the head of the department is telling us we’re supposed to be doing, particularly since even though I know the definition, I don’t think *they* know what “synergystically” means.

      Reply ↓
  24. Hedda*

    Depending on my mood, I either smile and nod, or say, “Huh?” I’m known for being extremely articulate, so this communicates my nonparticipation.

    Reply ↓
    1. London Calling*

      A manager at an ex-job once sent out a memo full of jargon. I wrote on the bottom, ‘Andrew, haven’t the faintest idea what this is about, can you clarify what’s wanted?’ I suspect he’d been in a meeting, just taken down what was being said and reproduced it.
      (He all but admitted he had no idea, either).

      Reply ↓
  25. Double A*

    I have to wonder if the Ms./Mrs. letter is actually about teaching and just anonymized. In which case, the clients are (mostly) children. If so, one hand, you could actually teach them about this; many of them might be mostly oblivious to the social context of these titles. On the other hand, it’s really not a battle I fight with students personally even though Mrs. is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

    If it’s not actually teaching and it’s adults, I think “I prefer Ms.” works fine. I wouldn’t fight the battle with clients, but I’d want my colleagues to get it right. At the same time, remembering everyone’s preferred title is a challenge; since I don’t like Mrs., I don’t use it for my colleagues but I know some of them do prefer it so I try to use it in that case.

    Reply ↓
    1. Office Plant Queen*

      I’m struggling to imagine anything other than teaching where not even coworkers typically use first names! And if it is teaching, I think it really depends on the age of the kids. By high school, kids should have more awareness of the social context of titles and should be able to use them correctly without constant reminders

      Reply ↓
    2. TeaAndToast*

      I am in my late 20s and don’t remember ever being taught the difference between Mrs. and Ms. By the time I was in school, Ms. was pretty established in the lexicon and don’t think it’s always obvious to kids that Miss, Mrs., and Ms. have a difference of meaning rather than just a difference of pronunciation or variations of the same word. I guess what I am saying is that a cheerful correction is a great option but it seems likely to be an ignorance rather than malice situation. (For context I am in a large progressive city in Canada, where people seem to be generally less into titles than in the US)

      Reply ↓
    3. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

      If so, that goes beyond “anonymization” into “active obfuscation that makes the answer useless”.

      I understand that if you’re in a small town and have a highly specific problem you may not want to reveal your exact industry, but saying “I’m a teacher” is not going to doxx anyone. The whole llama groomer / teapot designer convention that I presume originated as a reasonable attempt at anonymization really seems to have become little more than an inside joke. Nobody is going to ID me from, say, knowing that I’m a data scientist in the DC metro area.

      Reply ↓
    1. An Architect*

      As someone whose title includes the word Architect, I don’t have any problems with architecting. We also use the term solutioning (as described by Pretty as a Princess below). I think where it becomes jargon though is where these terms get borrowed into situations where they don’t actually belong or make sense, just to try and make something sound impressive

      Reply ↓
  27. cleo*

    For a brilliant skewering of corporate jargon, I highly recommend comedian Lisa Beasley’s Corporate Erin videos on TikTok and Instagram.

    Reply ↓
  28. Pretty as a Princess*

    That use of “solutioning” is odd to me. We use it when someone jumps straight to declaring a solution when they haven’t examined the context of the situation or the desired outcomes.

    Ex:
    Kelly: “we have had a higher number of teapot malformations in quadrant 5 this year…”
    Gil: “We need to hire a new Executive director of teapot structural integrity!”
    Kelly: “.. our quality models caught the statistical deviation and paused the line. It turns out that the flinkernator on production line 4 is worn down and the part is no longer manufactured. So we need to discuss what our options are for keeping line 4 running. That might include sourcing second hand parts, or paying for the CAD drawings to have our own flinkernators manufactured, or finding other ways to modernize line 4 which may include upgrading to flinkernator-free machinery.”

    Gil was solutioning.

    Reply ↓
  29. Ann O'Nemity*

    Corporate jargon can be really annoying when it’s just meaningless filler or when it confuses and alienates people. But at the same time, it’s natural for groups to develop their own slang and idioms—so of course, business professionals come up with their own in-group terminology, like “solutioning.”

    A lot of people assume “solutioning” is just a fancy way of saying “solving,” but in IT and project management, it actually has a more specific meaning. It refers to the process of developing a strategy to find the best solution. It doesn’t even have to involve solving the problem itself; rather, it’s about creating a game plan for how to approach the problem. While simple issues don’t usually require “solutioning,” it can be useful for complex problems with multiple possible solutions and approaches.

    Reply ↓
    1. Festively Dressed Earl*

      This is interesting; you and Pretty Princess in the above comment use ‘solutioning’ in specific and entirely opposite ways.

      Reply ↓
      1. An Architect*

        I don’t think they entirely are, although they’re not describing it exactly the same either. I would say solutioning is about determining what the solution to a problem should be. As Ann says, this doesn’t have to involve actually solving the problem.
        Where I find Ann’s definition a little confusing is that to me it conflates determining your strategy for how you will determine the solution, with determining the solution or approach for actually solving the problem. To me the latter is solutioning and the former is a optional pre-step, where in some cases you’ll take the time to actually specify how you’re going to determine what the best solution is, and in other cases you don’t really need that as a formal step.
        Pretty as a Princess describes a situation where someone is jumping ahead to solutioning prematurely when they don’t have the full context of the problem yet.

        Reply ↓
        1. Ann O'Nemity*

          Yeah, I think both determining the strategy for the solution and determining the approach to solving the problem can both be solutioning. This might be easiest with an example.

          So let’s say you’re an e-commerce company struggling with website performance during peak shopping seasons. The solutioning approach would involve:
          * Assessing the Problem – Figure out what’s slowing things down (servers, databases, traffic spikes).
          * Designing the Solution – Move to AWS with auto-scaling servers (EC2), a managed database (RDS), and a faster content delivery network (CloudFront).
          * Implementing the Plan – Migrate in phases: test first, move the database with minimal downtime, and deploy the app using containers (Docker + Kubernetes).
          * Testing & Optimizing – Run load tests, security checks, and fine-tune performance before going live.
          * Deploying & Supporting – Roll out gradually using blue-green deployment, monitor with CloudWatch, and keep refining based on traffic patterns.
          Since different aspects (servers, databases, security, deployments) need specialized expertise, each will have its own team, project plan, timeline, and success metrics. The goal of solutioning is to connect all the moving pieces into a clear, strategic roadmap that ensures everything works together smoothly.

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  30. nonprofit writer*

    Great timing! I just logged off of a webinar that used “decision” as a verb.

    “Our reviewing and decisioning process will be ongoing.”

    “Once we have decisioned your application, you will receive an email.”

    Definitely feeling a little twitchy over here since as a nonprofit professional, I am always swimming in acronyms and jargon (and often swimming against the tide, to no avail.)

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    1. An Architect*

      The first one feels like someone felt the two steps should agree in tense and for some reason made them verbs instead of nouns. The second follows from the first, and is worse IMO

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  31. Hoo boy*

    Did anyone here ever watch Word Girl on PBS when they were kids?

    Someone’s got to make a timeskip special where Becky Botsford finds herself employed by Mr. Big, and he very literally uses corporate-speak.

    Reply ↓
  32. Grenelda Thurber*

    Sometime back when I wasn’t paying attention “ask” became a noun and “adult” became a verb. I was confused, but I’m old.

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    2. Dinwar*

      I kind of like the idea of “adult” being a verb.

      In every culture there has been a performative aspect to pretty much every role in that culture. Mostly this comes up in kingship, but it’s true of all roles. For example, carrying around a distaff was a way to perform the role of wife and to demonstrate you were performing it well. In our culture wearing certain cloths is a way to perform the role of management–you see a guy in a polo shirt on a jobsite you know perfectly well this isn’t the forklift operator.

      The term “adulting” emphasizes that, particularly in an age where everyone posts everything online. It acknowledges that being an adult is something you DO, a suite of actions to be performed–and if you’re performing, there is necessarily an audience.

      Nouning the term “ask” is another example of linguistic simplification. “Request” is more difficult to say (“qu” is almost always going to be more difficult than other options), and “ask” as a noun provides the same information. “Ask” has a somewhat different implication that I’d have to think about more to pin down, though. Which makes it useful. English is a language of implications and subtle shades of meaning, after all, and having a variety of words that are ALMOST the same definitions is actually a value. If you don’t believe me, check out the wheel of emotions, which is basically this idea in another format.

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  33. Festively Dressed Earl*

    LW 1 may work with Miles Bron and a bunch of people like Birdie who think “it’s so dumb it’s brilliant!” Imbreatheate that predefinitely and circumspectively.

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  34. Office Plant Queen*

    On the topic of Ms vs Mrs, I had a teacher in high school who corrected people by saying “I’m Ms. So-and-so. Mrs. So-and-so is my mom”

    It’s clear, light-hearted, and a little bit funny so it’s memorable (I even remember it over 15 years later!)

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      1. Jenesis*

        I didn’t start using Mrs. or change my name when I married.

        “There is no Mrs. Husbandlast at this address. That is my mother-in-law.”

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  35. Burnt Out Librarian*

    Corporate speak and jargon is obnoxious but it is a wonderful secret weapon to use against administrators who don’t want to adapt or budge on a specific topic. If you can figure out a way to make your idea sound more buzzy and corporate, you suddenly get their buy-in… Partially because they don’t want to admit they don’t know what you mean or they can’t explain why the old way is better in the same terms.

    Case in point– You’re going to lose your mind if you have to do one more personality test at a team building exercise when you could be actually learning a useful skill:

    “While I love our use of the Myers-Briggs to analyze our communication styles, I feel like the current cultural temperature lends more to a hands-on training experience on new technology. What if we looped IT in on this?”

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  36. Dasein9 (he/him)*

    In the 1970s, my sister had a keychain that said “Call me Ms.” I wonder if a desk sign that says the same could be useful.

    Reply ↓
  37. Tasha*

    I did not win any brownie points with colleague when after she said, “We’re going to solution that,” I responded, “Do you mean solve?”

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    2. Grenelda Thurber*

      That is terrible. It’s just adding more syllables where no more are needed. To me, it immediately sounds like it should be a setting on my washing machine. I mean, it probably isn’t there, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was (I don’t know what half of the settings mean).

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  39. Zona the Great*

    I don’t use jargon but I love using words and phrases that are just slightly adrift of normal as a way to entertain myself when working with uppity self-important people. I work in government. Tons of meetings with stuffy people. My favorite phrase is “sally forth” as in, “okay, great. Thank you for that update. We will sally forth and keep you abreast of our progress”.

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    1. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

      Me too, though I’m not client-facing and I know from reading here that people need to put up with a great deal of unpleasantness because What Will The Clients Think.

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  41. Ally McBeal*

    I work in comms and my office has this giant floor-to-ceiling mural with as many corporate buzzwords as they could fit onto the wall. Sort of like a word cloud that makes you nauseous to look at.

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  43. LadyAmalthea*

    In my last job, the boss’s son was especially terrible about this, and it seemed especially out of touch in retail. It got so bad that we started a bingo card, which at least made it more amusing than annoying.

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  44. Hearsay*

    for the LW who prefers Ms.:
    At my job I call the patients Ms/Mrs/Mr and their last name (if I can pronounce it) or first (if I can’t). I did it since I started there, I just want to be respectful.
    There has been a handful of people who have asked me to call them but their first name. I did tend to forget because I use Ms/Mrs/Mr most of the time. Everytime I slipped, they would correct me. One gentleman said it jokingly the first two times and then seriously asked me not to say Mr. So and So and to call him by his first name. After that I pushed myself to be purposeful when his name was on the list, and quickly corrected if I slipped up. Right after that serious exchange, he smiled so that I felt convicted but not shamed. Other patients cheerfuly reminded me every time until I got it and I trained myself to call them by their first name. I may stutter sometimes but I want to be respectful no matter what the person prefers to be called.
    I think those are two great options depending on who is speaking with you. It might be ingrained, but most people want to do right and a reminder until they call you “Ms.” on their own would be beneficial.

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  45. Abogado Avocado*

    I asked ChatGPT to rewrite Genesis in corporate speak. Here’s what I got:

    In the beginning, the Visionary created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless, void, and lacked a clearly defined strategy. The Spirit of the Executive hovered over the waters, brainstorming new initiatives.

    And the Executive said, “Let there be light,” and there was a breakthrough: light was optimized. The light was deemed on-brand, and the darkness was put into the off-peak zone.

    The Executive saw that the light was good and strategically separated it from the darkness. The light was designated as “Day” and the darkness was labeled “Night”—an alignment of resources. There was evening, and there was morning, Day One.

    And the Executive said, “Let there be a space to improve operational efficiency, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” So the space was created and called “Sky.” The first stage of optimization was complete. . .

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    1. Jasmine Clark*

      I’m a Christian and I think this is absolutely hilarious and it made my day!! Every part of this is just perfect. Too funny. XD

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  48. Lenora Rose*

    … Did the entire office forget that “solving” exists?

    Jargon that has a specific meaning no extant word already has, I understand, or which quickly summarizes a concept that a group spent hours or weeks refining. Jargon that is literally just a weirder way to say exactly the same thing as a common word drives me nuts.

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  49. Kevin Sours*

    I think it’s useful to draw a distinction between a jargon and a slang (even though there tends to be considerable overlap between the two in practice). Because while we talk a lot about corporate jargon it really tends to be more of a slang.

    A jargon is a vocabulary that develops within a particular group — typically around some profession or other specific interest — to describe things related to what the group does. Developing short hand and assigning specific meanings to ordinary words to be able to talk quickly about things or draw specific distinctions that aren’t necessarily relevant outside the group. As an example the word “fruit” means something different to a biologist than it does to a chef. While overuse of jargon can be a problem ultimately the purpose of a jargon is to allow great clarity of speech.

    A slang, on the other hand, develops within a social group and has the general cultural purpose of marking someone as a member of that group. A secondary purpose is to make it harder for out groups to understand the conversation of the in group. The classic example is teen slang. The fact that parents can’t really understand it or use it properly is a feature. Slangs tend to change rapidly so that you have to be in the group in order to “keep up”. Ultimately the purpose of slangs tends to be obfuscatory.

    As I said above social groups and professional groups overlap so various lingos develop that serve both purposes. But a lot of the corporate “jargon” seems to be about in group/out group marking more than anything else.

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  51. I'm just here for the cats!!*

    #1 just sounds like an annoying place to work. I once worked someplace that had so many acronyms and abbreviations that I couldn’t keep up in meetings. I asked my manager for help, asking if there was some sort of document with what these all meant, but she just looked at me and shrugged.
    #2. I think you should be able to address the name. There is one caveat I would like to add, and that is sometimes people who have stutters or speech impediments can have issues with Ms. and it sounds like Mrs. Even people whose stutter is well controlled will have problems with that. As someone who has a speech impediment, and always messed up with my teacher Ms. Smith please do not get angry or frustrated. Especially if you know they have a speech impediment.

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  52. Jasmine Clark*

    I’m a copywriter and oh wow, corporate buzzwords are incredibly annoying to me. So many people say them and write them, and they think the words sound impressive but they just don’t. AI has made this worse of course. For example, AI loves to use “dynamic,” and now that word is very much overused and meaningless. It’s supposed to have a meaning, but people have used it so much that the meaning has been pretty much lost. I rarely see “dynamic” used in a way that actually adds meaning to a sentence.

    Another example of an overused corporate buzzword is “innovative.” So many businesses describe themselves as “innovative” but they really aren’t doing anything that’s super special and different. But they think saying “innovative” will make people think they’re somehow unique.

    I’m so tired of corporate buzzwords and people trying to sound formal and professional. I wish more people would speak in plain English and stop trying too hard to sound smart. I think a lot of people have a fear of being judged for not sounding professional enough… but I think sounding professional is overrated.

    Reply ↓

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