mysterious visitor won’t leave our cafe, correcting coworker’s Spanish mistake, and more

by Alison Green on January 13, 2025

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Unauthorized visitor won’t leave our cafe

I work for a university research department, and we have run into an issue with a stranger repeatedly remaining in our office cafe/kitchen space, and it is proving surprisingly difficult to resolve.

The building we are in houses many departments that don’t work with undergrads, but do work with graduate students, faculty, and other affiliates and guests. The building is not owned by the university, and building management is across the street in a different building. The building is unlocked 8-5 Monday-Friday but requires fob access at all other times. All of the office suites require fobs to get in, but the cafe and bathrooms are outside of locked areas, and the cafe is an open area without a door, so there’s no way to prevent people from entering that space once in the building.

Since early November, we’ve had an issue with a youngish man appearing in the cafe some days. He has a computer and will get lunch and return, so initially we assumed he was a grad student. When he ignored requests to stop watching videos out loud in the space (he would stop for a minute or so, then go back to his prior behavior), we started to get suspicious. I tried to politely ask who he worked with here or what other building department he works for, or even just his name, and he evaded the questions, by speaking quietly, repeatedly claiming he’d already told me, and mumbling the requested information in sentences that were otherwise clear and understandable. As a guy under five feet tall, intimidating authority is just about the last thing I’ll ever be described as, so I quickly hit a wall.

My supervisor and several other staff members at various times also asked him for information and to be respectful of the space and or to leave, but no one got any further, though it never escalated in a hostile or loud way either. We reached out to building management and they said they’d send security, but that never happened.

We’ve continued to spot him sporadically and heard reports from other groups of him pulling similar behavior, and always naming a department not on that floor as the one he worked for. Building management did speak to him at one point, and he claimed to work for us. Building management is nice but often slow to respond to messages, so we cannot easily summon them every time we see him.

Grad students have also reported seeing him around over the weekend sometimes, when they’ve been in to work on things. This past weekend, my supervisor, otherwise on parental leave, stopped by to get something and spotted him but chose not to engage since she had her kids with her.

We are a bunch of social scientists and well aware of not wanting to come off as profiling a Black man for being in a space, but at this point it is an issue. Practically, the biggest problem is that in the time it takes to go get management or someone else for help, he’s able to slip away or leave until the next time we spot him, and engaging with him is just going in circles, never getting enough information to get further, or to even verify if he belong in the building. It’s not clear if he’s even disruptive in a way that would justify calling the police. What should we do?

Do you have to do anything? It doesn’t sound like he’s causing problems, other than sitting in a cafe. I’m not suggesting you should completely ignore your security rules, which presumably exist for a reason, but you’ve tried to address it and gotten nowhere, and it doesn’t sound like you’re in a position where you absolutely must take additional action. Is it an option to just let your building management know the whole history — including the fact that at least once he lied about who he works for, as well as that he’s been there on weekends when the building was locked — and then leave it in their court to decide what to do?

If he’s being disruptive or refusing direct requests (like to stop playing videos out loud), you can call campus security, but otherwise this seems like an issue for the building management rather than any of you. If you feel they’re not handling it with an appropriate level of urgency, the next step is to be clearer with them about exactly why it needs more urgency; right now they’re probably proceeding as if it’s a minor issue because it’s not clear that it requires more than that.

2. Should I have corrected my coworker’s very funny Spanish mistake?

I have an extremely low-stakes but very funny question for you. My team consists of five monolingual English speakers, though a couple of us know some words or phrases in other languages, including myself and my coworker, “Mary.”

Mary likes to throw around the few Spanish phrases she knows for flavor, and usually uses them correctly, but today she goofed quite badly. In Spanish, “happy new year” translates to “feliz año nuevo” (note the tilde over the “n”). Mary, however, wished another coworker “feliz ano nuevo” (no tilde) in our team’s group chat. This translates to “happy new anus.”

I said nothing. I laughed myself to tears in my home office, but I didn’t correct Mary. I figured everyone would know what she meant, and correcting her would be unduly embarrassing. Was that the right thing to do? Is there a way to bring something like that up without embarrassing someone?

Do you have a warm relationship with Mary? Is she someone with a sense of humor who can laugh at herself? If so, I can think of no greater gift than letting her know she wished your coworker a happy new anus, and I don’t think you need to tiptoe around it at all.

If Mary is not someone who can laugh at herself … well, in that case I might have even more desire to tell her what she said, but from an office politics perspective it may be wiser to just leave it alone.

3. My coworkers won’t stop singing

This is probably not a problem that can really be solved, but it’s driving me insane and maybe you have some insight I’m not thinking of.

I have two coworkers who wander in and out of my work area frequently throughout the day who are constantly singing. Both actual song lyrics, and wordless opera-style harmonising. I would find it annoying even if they were good singers, but I’m sorry to say that they’re not, which makes it even worse.

They drive me absolutely bonkers because I can’t stand noise while I’m trying to work. Because of where my desk is located, I can’t use headphones (I sit at the front desk despite receptionist duties not being part of my job description, which is a whole other letter).

Neither of them is the type of person I feel I could earnestly ask to stop. Asking them would almost certainly result in them a) arguing with me and/or b) singing even louder at me. Plus, I don’t want to be seen as the office grinch. Is there anything at all that I can do about this?

Someone singing in the hallways while other people were trying to focus was one of the earliest things I had to address as a new manager! It remains fascinating to me that some people don’t realize that’s not okay to do in an area where other people are trying to concentrate on work.

In a normal situation you could simply say, “Hey, it’s hard to focus when you’re singing in this space! Sorry to ask, but could you not sing when you’re walking through here?” But since you think these coworkers would argue with you about it (WTF?) or just sing more loudly (also WTF?), your only other option is explain to a manager that it’s disrupting your work and ask them to intervene. Most managers are likely to ask if you’ve tried speaking to the coworkers yourself first, so you should preemptively explain why you think doing that will escalate things. (And for what it’s worth, any manager should be pretty alarmed to hear that one of their employees would fight someone over a request like this, but the fact that this dynamic exists in your workplace in the first place makes me wonder if that will actually be the case or not.)

Related:
my employee is a terrible singer

4. Best way to phrase an unusual dietary requirement

I have recently been diagnosed with a medical condition that requires me to avoid fatty foods. As in, my body has issues digesting these foods, so I should not eat them. At home, it’s not really an inconvenience — while the diagnosis is new, I have had these issues since birth, so I have always avoided certain foods such as cream, mayo, etc. as I knew they made me sick. However, it is a much bigger problem when eating out and at work events as I am not sure how to communicate my dietary needs. (I find even dishes that would be completely fine if I cooked them at home with minimal olive oil are often made with a lot of butter or other fat in commercial settings.)

In the past, I just tried to make do, but now that I have a diagnosis, I would like to be able to ask for food that meets my medical needs like anyone else and not be sick after work dinners. I have tried just asking for “low-fat” but as a petite woman, it has led to some inappropriate comments suggesting I “should not be trying to lose weight” or even that I have an eating disorder! What wording would you recommend? Am I better off giving a list of specific ingredients (“no mayo, cream, butter, or full-fat dairy” which are the main culprits in my experience)? Or just get the vegan option, which allows me to avoid most of these, even if it’s likely to miss instances where, say, the cook just uses a lot of oil? Is there a better way to phrase it?

Give the list of specific ingredients, since not only is “low-fat” leading to some weird misunderstandings, but you also risk people defining “low-fat” differently than you do. It’s safer to simply say, “I have a medical condition that means I can’t digest mayo, cream, butter, or full-fat dairy.”

5. Applying to follow an ex-manager to her new company

I’ve had a fantastic work relationship with my now-ex supervisor (let’s call her Xena) who recently left for a higher-ranking (but not senior leadership) job at another organization in the same field. Xena gave me a hint about an opening in her new department, a position where I’d be reporting to her again — which I’d like very much.

Do you have any advice about deploying a recommendation from a colleague who’s brand-new at the organization I’d be applying to? If I’m asked why I want to apply for the job, would it be a bad move to mention wanting to work with Xena as one of my leading motivations? How much weight is the organization likely to give to her recommendation in the first-round sorting of applications?

Her recommendation is likely to carry a great deal of weight as the hiring manager. But don’t frame wanting to work for her again as one of your leading motivations. Mention it, yes, but you don’t want to sound like it’s the primary driver of your interest — since if they see that, they’re likely to immediately start worrying about what will happen if Xena leaves later this year. Focus on other reasons the job appeals to you, and keep the mention of Xena as more of an aside.

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{ 49 comments }

{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Cmdrshprd*

    As someone that does a decent amount of food/catering ordering for meetings that require taking dietary restrictions into account, just saying I have high/low fat restrictions/requirements is meaningless, even though I want to be helpful and meet your needs. I don’t know what that means and how to check for it on menus.

    It does not give me the information I need to work with, I would suggest saying high/low fat giving specific common ingredients list.

    “no mayo, cream, butter, or full-fat dairy” which are the main culprits in my experience)”

    But is reduced fat dairy okay, even if they use a ton of it? I could imagine a cook/restaurant substituting full fat dairy for extra reduced fat dairy, but does that equal the same results in terms of fat? say does 1 cup of full fat dairy = 2 cups of 50% reduced fat dairy?

    But based on this comment I might even add oil to the list, or ask oil on the side, for salads.

    “Or just get the vegan option, which allows me to avoid most of these, even if it’s likely to miss instances where, say, the cook just uses a lot of oil?”

    Is beef/meat okay?

    In addition to the high/low fat requirements with common ingredients I would provide some suggestions of commonish items that are generally safe to eat. Like a salad with plain, salt/pepper check, oil/vinaigrette dressing on the side, or plain chicken sandwich with just salt/pepper, plain burger.

    Even with the common ingredients list it seems like there are some ingredients that are generally fine except when used in excessive amounts?

    I say this because often times when ordering places will list their main toppings/ingredients but won’t include the sub ingredients like seasonings or butters/oils used on meat.

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    2. Ellis Bell*

      I’ve found that lots of caterers want a discussion with me about my food requirements, but I don’t think OP is placed to do that. In their shoes I might give a list of good substitutes alongside the no-nos.

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  2. Riley*

    Letter 1:

    Yes, she has to do something. This is an access restricted building on weekends, and the visitor has been seen there on weekends. This is not a situation where he can just stay as long as he doesn’t bother anyone.

    What is the tailgating policy? Do people just hold the door for whoever is following them when they fob in? That should stop, as a first step.

    They could also implement a practice of empowering people at the, say, manager level who can ask to see people’s fobs outside of normal working hours. No fob = you find someone to vouch for you or you get escorted out of the building (there would need to be consequences for vouching for someone you don’t actually know).

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    1. Person from the Resume*

      Him being spotted in the building on weekends actually makes me wonder if the guy is sleeping in the building overnight.

      But I do think the responsibility is on the building management so it’s a matter of your office/the university pressuring building management to do something at least about him being there when the building is not open to the public.

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      1. Artemesia*

        WE had a guy who was living in one of our buildings — who was not a student or employee. He managed to do it for quite a long time.

        I have the image in this letter of it being a break room situation rather than a staffed cafe open to the public; surely the building can figure out how to deal with someone who doesn’t live there and yet is spending hours in the building. This is a lazy building management problem.

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        1. Looper*

          I also got the impression it was more “break room” than “public place to buy and consume food”. I would definitely feel very uncomfortable if a strange man was repeatedly in my office break room watching videos out loud on his laptop. He has no reason to be there and needs to go.

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    2. Kisa*

      Yes. This is so alien to me. Like, I am a petite woman and I do not go in to threathening situations. But if someone, who has reason to, is entering my place of work, I feel like I have duty to politely queston that. If someone mumbles and I dont understand, I say “Excuse me?”.

      Ofcourse, if the situation is threathening, I back off and call security/or backup. And eventually, this is their job if someone is persistently staying somewhere they shouldnt.

      Ofcourse, there MIGHT be a good and innocent reason this person is there, but they are not being co-operative so you should just follow your policy.

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    3. Lizard the Second*

      Building management did speak to him at one point, and he claimed to work for us.

      Building management needs to ask for his staff ID.

      It’s a worry that he’s clearly lying about his identity to get access.

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      1. Roland*

        Yeah, building security is being very neglectful here. It’s quite literally their job to check access rights and escort people out when they shouldn’t be there.

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    4. Bulu Babi*

      It’s a university, not a high security facility. So what if someone who’s otherwise homeless found a safe place to there without bothering anyone? What’s gained by throwing him out? I’d bring a printed list of behaviour to avoid and recommended classes, and quietly tell him “We’re not the police and we’re happy you are comfortable here. Here are some behaviours to avoid, here are some cool beginner classes you can attend, and here are some openings among staff (to work the cafeteria for example).”

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      1. Anon2*

        The letter writer has already said that the visitor has not abided by requests to follow broadly agreed-upon etiquette for public spaces (not watching videos without headphones); why would a list be any more effective?

        Furthermore, how would a list of beginner classes help this person? You can only attend classes if you are an enrolled and tuition-paying student at every school I’m familiar with.

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    5. DeliCat*

      I think it’s more the fact that it doesn’t need to be the LW’s responsibility. The building management seem pretty ineffectual (the guy says he works for us? Cool, you saw his staff ID then?) but it is ultimately their job and if they’re not doing it then ideally the complaint should be escalated. It doesn’t sound like the LW needs to be taking this on directly.

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  3. RCB*

    #2, she may already know that she used the wrong form of ano, but just couldn’t figure out how to get the n with the tilde on her keyboard and assumed that everyone knew what she meant despite the technically wrong word.

    I had this come up at New Years when I was going to text a few Latino friends in Spanish, but I could not figure out how to get the tilde so I gave up and reverted to English, but your colleague may have just decided to go with it nonetheless.

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    1. Matt*

      I don’t speak Spanish, but there was this one meme about a sentence that could either translate to “My father is 47 years old”, which was probably intended, or “My potato has 47 anuses”, which left me in tears laughing ;)

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      1. HiddenT*

        I was gonna mention that one too!

        For those curious:

        Mi papá tiene 47 años: “my father is 47 years old”
        Mi papa tiene 47 anos: “my potato has 47 anuses”

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    2. Cmdrshprd*

      As someone that is a native speaker and generally knows the differences, most of the times due to predictive text I don’t even bother manually inserting the proper accents knowing that 99% of the time spell check/autocorrect will catch it and fix it for me. In the 1% of times it doesn’t catch it for some reason, (unless it is a formal communication/printed format) the extra time spent trying to search and find the right accent letter is not worth it. If I am writing in Spanish to someone they will almost certainly understand and excuse the typo.

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      1. Irish Teacher.*

        I’ve done the same, leaving out fádas in Irish. Especially if I’m on a phone, where it has a tendency to give me the wrong thing, à instead of á. Sometimes I just give up, figuring people will get it. (Predictive text is dire for Irish though.)

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    3. Spanish Prof*

      Spanish speakers will often use “ni” in place of ñ if on an English-set keyboard – as in “feliz cumpleanios”

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    4. Emmy Noether*

      I occasionally run into this problem when I’m typing German on a French computer keyboard and cannot get the ß, or French on a German computer keyboard and cannot get the ç. I usually solve it by going to find the letter elsewhere (as a last resort, I will google “sz” or “c cedille” and google will spit it out) and copy it in. I can’t remember the codes to generate them directly, but that would also be an option. I speak both languages well enough to know if it’s going to change the meaning – and I can’t think of a case where it would – but it bothers me enough to write it wrong that I try fairly hard not to.

      On a phone keyboard, generally you just hold the base letter down and get all the diacritics options in a popup menu, no matter the language setting, so typing it on a phone is also a solution.

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      1. Jill Swinburne*

        In German, wouldn’t you just sub ‘ss’ for ß? I can’t speak to workarounds for other languages.

        (Sidenote: in the part of New Zealand I live in, the preferred way to spell words in Te Reo Maori is with double vowels ‘aa’ instead of using a macron (ā) as most other regions do. On the rare occasions I have to write a Te Reo word, this pleases me.)

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        1. amoeba*

          You could, yes, but people who don’t realise you’re using a different keyboard might (and will, in my experience) assume you’re just bad at spelling! Source: I’m in Switzerland, where they decided a while ago to get completely rid of the ß, and I do regularly get that. “No, this is the correct way to spell it in Switzerland, actually!”
          (Also, when it’s in people’s names, it’s considered at least a bit impolite to not make the effort…)

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        2. Emmy Noether*

          Yes, you can substitute, if you don’t have another option (it’s sort of… an emergency substitution, or a less-correct-but-not-incorrect spelling, which are concepts that do not exist in English spelling). As amoeba mentions, the Swiss got rid of the problem that way, but it still just looks visually wrong to me. It also – theoretically – changes the pronunciation in some cases, which is the reason it exists in the first place. It IS definitely better than substituting a capital B though, which I’ve seen, and is very jarring.

          I have thought of an example where it changes meaning, too: Maße (measurements) vs. Masse (mass). Not a funny switch like año/ano, but may lead to some confusion.

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    5. lowstakesanswer*

      I was in Mexico for New Years for the second time a few weeks ago, and there were several gold foil balloons that just said “Feliz ano nuevos” and I didn’t catch anyone batting an eye.

      If she was my friend I would assume she wasn’t making a typo and proceed to act accordingly, but for a colleague I can’t see any reason.

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    6. Reality.Bites*

      Instead of speaking to her, you could invite her over and watch the Modern Family episode, “A Year of Birthdays”

      Phil says mi ano fui hermoso (My year was beautiful).
      Gloria corrects him about año and he replies, “Still works.”

      Reply ↓
  4. Artemesia*

    The ‘low fat’ issue reminds me of an issue we faced with one of my kids who for medical reasons had to be on a very low fat diet because otherwise she developed pancreatitis — luckily this is something that about half the kids who have it outgrow it and she did, but it is incredibly painful and debilitating and potentially dangerous to have constant flare ups.

    when in restaurants we would get waitresses who would snarl ‘she doesn’t look fat to me.’ or make other rude remarks. One of the things I did to help her feel less deprived was to find fancy things that were low fat. One of those was a shrimp cocktail which was fancy and tasty but low fat made with no mayo. Literal strangers in restaurants would see this 6 year old kid with her gorgeous shrimp cocktail in the fancy glass and make insulting remarks about her or our parenting ‘Well isn’t she the fancy one’; ‘does she always get what she demands’ or ‘you are going to regret spoiling her.’ People.

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    1. Roeslein*

      OP here – this is the condition I have although obviously I am unlikely to outgrow at this point! I know realise I had it as a kid as well, but it wasn’t diagnosed so folks mostly thought I was a food snob for hot wanting to eat fast food.

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    2. Ellis Bell*

      What has to be wrong with you that you object to a kid enjoying her food in any, but especially a fancy way? My parents used to take us out specifically so we could eat ice cream out of tall sundae glasses! Also, what do they think is going to happen to her personality and manners? Is she going to start blurting out negative, rude and unhappy comments to people who are just enjoying their food?

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  5. nnn*

    I think the first step for #1 is to be able to articulate (to the young man in question/to building management/to security) why his sitting around in your cafe is different from sitting around in other university cafes or nearby cafes.

    Many universities have (or have historically had) a strong public space culture, with a high tolerance for random people being around compared with office buildings etc. Within a university, if someone is in a cafe or a library or on a random bench in a hallway, it’s highly unlikely that anyone would question whether they belong there. There usually isn’t anything stopping members of the public from walking into a university building to use a washroom or get a coffee, or any rules against doing so. There isn’t really the concept of an “unauthorized visitor”.

    Is your building different from the rest of the university in this regard? If yes, how so?

    For example, the letter mentions that the building is not owned by the university but it does house many departments. Does that mean it’s not part of the campus but people might mistake it for part of the campus? If yes, that’s the starting point for your approach. “This building isn’t actually part of the campus – there’s a campus cafeteria in Other Building”

    Or maybe it’s something else. Maybe it’s that the building requires fob access? Maybe it’s whatever it is about your work that has you working in a fob access environment rather than an open campus environment? Maybe your campus isn’t open, unlike other campuses that newbies may have attended previously? Or maybe it’s just that he was making noise?

    Whatever it is, the crucial starting point is identifying what exactly it is about this situation that’s different from the unremarkable everyday situation of some guy sitting in a university cafeteria using his laptop.

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    1. Cmdrshprd*

      Except part of the issue seems to be the space is open to the o
      public 9 to 5 mon. thru Fri. but not other times.

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  6. musical chairs*

    Calling campus security to a building the university does not own, at best, would do nothing, and, at worst, could make a potentially escalated situation (that you worry could be seen as racially charged) appear that much worse.

    The guy isn’t leaving when you say you’ve asked him to do so after being disruptive. Stop asking him passive aggressive questions like “who do you work for” and tell building management that he’s making noise in common areas and won’t leave when asked. Confirm with them that they won’t engage real or campus police, but do get them to do their jobs in their building.

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  7. Decidedly Me*

    LW5 – I’m new to a company and have several previous reports and other coworkers hoping to change over to work with me again. New company is aware of this and actively seeks these recommendations from me (for my roles and others). I think the recommendation will have more weight than you’re thinking.

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    1. Trick or Treatment*

      Exactly! A lot of companies love it when applicants are a known quantity to a manager/coworker.

      Also, to avoid sounding like the former manager is your only draw, you can rather say something like “She sounded very positive about the company and department, and I trust her judgement”, then you could add you would like to work for her again.

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  8. handfulofbees*

    2: I’ve definitely done this in conversation (regarding the state park in California). Had a bit of trouble pronouncing ‘año’ at first, but once I realized what I was saying, I learned. Very quickly lol.

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  9. AL*

    #4 – I also have some really odd dietary restrictions. People can absolutely get weird about them – I don’t have the same low-fat issue, but I don’t eat any form of pizza, and people have Feelings about that. I’ve found that focusing on the specific rather than the general lessens some of the weirdness around it.

    I’ve gotten comfortable with channeling my inner Sally Albright when out for meals with colleagues. I’ll typically warn the table that I have some weird restrictions (without getting into what they are) and just dive into asking the waiter – politely, of course – for exactly the alterations I need.
    For me, that looks like saying, “Is this chicken able to be grilled instead of fried? Wonderful. Can you please leave off the cheese and the kale slaw? Thank you.”
    I typically have a back-up order as well if the original dish can’t be altered to my needs.

    For catering is being ordered for a work dinner, I typically have a conversation with the person doing the ordering to see if I can have a look at the menu. If necessary, I ask to have a separate meal ordered for me.

    The longer I work with specific people (my work includes catered lunch every day), the more used to my odd diet they get, and it becomes less of a “thing.”

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  10. Annie*

    #4 Some more phrases to try on to help restaurants meet your dietary needs: “I’m dairy free when eating out”, “I eat vegan during the day”

    I’m basing this on the majority of the problematic ingredients in your letter coming from milk.

    While these statements might not sound completely honest, you wouldn’t be the first or the last person in the world to have to follow a more restrictive version of your medically prescribed diet when eating out.

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    1. Jill Swinburne*

      Except then you suddenly find your meal full of coconut oil or cashew cream. I’d actually lean into the medical explanation – people are more likely to take it seriously.

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    2. Roeslein*

      Thanks! As another poster suggested, this is a pancreatitis issue, nothing to do with lactose intolerance. I drink tons of almost fat-free milk with zero issue. The worst offender for me besides cream is actually mayo! I also have no issue with meat especially if baked / cooked with no additional fat, and while I mostly eat vegetarian diet with meat maybe once a week I don’t think anyone would believe me if I suddenly claimed to be vegan.

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  11. tabloidtainted*

    #1: If it’s a security risk to have a stranger popping up in the building, stop tiptoeing around the issue!

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  12. Chocolate Teapot*

    5. I would be focussing on why the new position would be a good role for me, apart from working with Xena again.

    There have been letters over the years on here about starting a new job and the (often a main positive for accepting) boss has departed shortly after starting. There have been a mix of circumstances and outcomes, so it is worth thinking about what to do if the working relationship is curtailed.

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  13. Emily*

    I’d let the Spanish correction go. I’m sure the recipient knew what she meant. Unless she’s a staff translator there’s really no reason to bring it up and embarrass her.

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  14. nnn*

    Adding to the brainstorming for #4:

    “I have a medical condition that severely limits the amount of fat my body can digest. I know, it’s super hard to get from that information to deciding what to order at a work meal! Historically, I’ve found ordering the vegan option is safest, but if I could [see nutritional information/talk to the chef/whatever it is you actually need] that would be ideal”

    Advantages: that states what you actually need and makes it clear why (it’s not for weight loss, it’s not for food allergies)
    Disadvantages: wordy, an above-average amount of personal information

    This is almost certainly not the single best right answer, but I’m posting it in case it helps you arrive at the actual right answer

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  15. HiddenT*

    As someone who works with multiple Spanish speakers, they probably wouldn’t even notice it/would assume it was a typo. Many times non-native speakers are way more sensitive about the “correct” language than native speakers, because they took classes/used a program to learn the language, as opposed to a native speakers mostly learning by osmosis. I’d just let it go, since this was a casual remark and not on any official paperwork or marketing material.

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  16. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    #1 I would not tolerate this. However, I’ve always worked in R&D where security is a high priority, so I’m probably more hardline on this issue than most pp. Also workplace safety meant even anyone hanging around the edges of the closed site would soon be be questioned by security.

    If security / building management are not readily available, then I suggest going as a group with your phones and saying ” You are not authorised to be here. Please leave”
    Don’t engage in any explanations. If he refuses/doesn’t leave, everyone takes photos of him. Tell him you will be giving these photos to building security and the campus police – and do so.
    Do this every time

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  17. Seal*

    #1: Long-time academic librarian here. This situation is unfortunately common at research universities and definitely needs to be addressed.

    It sounds like there are two separate issues here: playing videos without using headphones in a public space, and unauthorized entry when the building isn’t open to the public. The latter is trespassing and in some ways easier to address since there really isn’t a gray area. Even if the university doesn’t own the building, it houses university people and property; I’d be very surprised if it isn’t under the purview of campus police/security. Everyone who does have access to the building should be reminded to not let authorized people in and that everyone should be prepared to prove their affiliation after hours.

    The no headphones issue can be a bit trickier, especially if there aren’t a lot of people around. It helps to have a sign in the area to point to (trust me, people don’t actually read them) when asking someone to not do something, because then it’s not just one person’s concern. Another tactic is to check back in a few minutes or have a colleague do so. It’s easy to ignore one person or a single reminder, less so if the message is repeated. But if none of that works, you may need to escalate the situation. If nothing else, talk to other people in the building and compare notes. Chances are plenty of people are aware of the situation but don’t know how to address it.

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  18. HiddenT*

    Re: #1

    I wonder if the young man in question is homeless. Maybe trying to help him find some resources would be helpful. Maybe someone from the university counseling center might be able to swing by at a time he’s usually hanging around.

    Unfortunately a fair number of minority/low income university students end up being homeless for various reasons. That isn’t LW1’s problem to solve, of course, but if they could pass the word to someone who could, maybe that would get their ersatz tenant dealt with faster.

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  19. allathian*

    Given that the origin of Spanish is largely in vulgar Latin (the language the people spoke rather than wrote), it should come as no surprise that a similar error is possible in Latin.

    Apparently, one famously expensive public (i.e. private in the US) school was forced to raise its annual tuition fees by £500 per annum. On the letter, however, an n was omitted by mistake: per anum. One irate parent apparently responded and wrote “Thank you for the notification, but for my part, I would prefer to continue paying through the nose, as usual.”

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