weekend open thread – January 18-19, 2025

by Alison Green on January 17, 2025

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand.

Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

Book recommendation of the week: Rental House, by Weike Wang. After the daughter of Chinese immigrants and the son of a white, working class family marry, they grapple with their relationship with each other and both sets of parents over the course of a summer vacation. (Amazon, Bookshop)

* I earn a commission if you use those links.

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{ 73 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    The weekend posts are for relatively light discussion — think office break room — and comments should ask questions and/or seek to discuss ideas. “Here’s what happened to me today” personal-blog-style posts will be removed (because they got out of control in the past). We also can’t do medical advice here.

    These threads are no politics.

    Please give the full rules a re-read.

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    1. Valancy Stirling*

      I’m reading A Love Song For Ricki Wilde by Tia Williams. It’s an absolutely delightful romance about fitting in, romanticizing life, and accepting the things that make you you.

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    3. Dark Macadamia*

      Recently finished “Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone” and loved it. The blurb compared it to Knives Out and I think that’s pretty accurate, the kind of witty, sarcastic, clever-dumb humor mixed with a murder mystery.

      Now I’m listening to “Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” on audio. I feel like it’s objectively not great but it’s hitting the exact reading experience I wanted so I’m really enjoying it.

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    4. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      I’m part way through Carrie Fisher’s *Postcards from the Edge*, a fictionalized recovery memoir. I like it. While I fortunately do not have any addiction to drugs or alcohol, I do have an unhealthy relationship with food, and Fisher’s depiction of the lies addicts (to anything) tell themselves is spot on.

      I’m also part way through Betty MacDonald’s very funny *Onions in the Stew*, which details her life moving to and living on Vashon Island off the Washington State coast near Seattle and Tacoma in the early 1940s. So far, none of her vile racism towards the local indigenous population has appeared, but we’ll see how the rest of it goes. She is friendly with a local Japanese couple, but seems shockingly unbothered when they get sent to an internment camp.

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      1. Dark Macadamia*

        How did I never know Betty MacDonald lived in Washington? I just read her Wikipedia page and I lived in the same neighborhood as her for awhile.

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        1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

          Oh, cool! There’s a lot of Seattle stuff in her *Anybody Can Do Anything* memoir about trying out a series of jobs in the early 1930s.

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    5. Falling Diphthong*

      Finished Circe by Madeline Miller, a retelling of the Greek myth, which was very good; I especially liked what the author did with Penelope. Reading this I thought a lot about Pandora’s Jar by Natalie Haynes, about the depiction of women in ancient Greek myth. (Specifically that there are many versions of these stories, and that the versions in your high school Penguin Classics translation probably were the most “women should sit on the sidelines” of all the options available.)

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      1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

        How interesting that last fact is! I hadn’t thought about it, but it makes a lot of sense.

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      1. Teapot Translator*

        Also, I just realized that when people would recommend Dorothy Sayer, I was confusing her with Elizabeth Peters. And I tried Peters’s first book years and years ago and didn’t finish it because of the racism towards Egyptian people. So, anyway, I’m going try Dorothy Sayer. All I could find at the library was the BBC dramatizations. Will start with that.

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        1. Weekend Warrior*

          The Sayers novels are excellently written but many are shot through with snobby “genteel” antisemitism, typical of inter-war Britain (and elsewhere). The first one, Whose Body?, is particularly bad. She later has at least one upper class character marry a Jewish character but still traffics in stereotypes. The BBC dramatizations no doubt soften all this. I’ve seen them but don’t really remember. I loved Gaudy Night as a young woman but recently decided to reread all the novels and noticed what I’d skimmed over as a younger reader. Blechh!

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    7. chocolate muffins*

      Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram Kendi. I learned some things (like that Roger Taney, who wrote the Dred Scott Supreme Court opinion, also freed everyone he had enslaved – definitely did not know that!) but didn’t really follow the thread connecting the five people he was highlighting. Some of the historical facts were interesting but the anlysis did not seem particularly deep or novel, to me.

      Reply ↓
      1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

        I really enjoyed his *How to Be an Anti-Racist* — it’s a philosophy interwoven with a memoir that covers related moments in his own development as a thinker.

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    9. HannahS*

      I’m slowly picking my way through The Collected Schizophrenias by Esme Weijun Wang. It’s a combination of memoir about her experience of schizoaffective disorder and discussion about psychosis and psychiatry. I think it’s good, but there’s something about the writing style that’s not to my taste. I can’t really put my finger on it. I’m still going to finish it, though.

      I tend to read cookbooks before bed to help me relax and fall asleep. I just finished Classic German Cooking by Luisa Weiss and enjoyed it, though I won’t be cooking from it (the recipes were pretty much either deeply unkosher or desserts lol)

      My go-to comfort read is the Innkeeper Series by Ilona Andrews. I’ve read their other works and find them a bit dark/gory for my taste. Since my life is tending towards hard/sad these days, I’m looking for more comforting things. Does anyone have a recommendation for something similar to the Innkeeper series?

      Reply ↓
    10. Charlotte Lucas*

      Just finished Death in Ecstasy by Ngaio Marsh. The mystery was good, but I found the portrayal of the two gay characters problematic (it was written during the 1930s).

      Now I’m working through some collections of short mysteries. “Death at the Sundial Motel” shattered me in the modern collection +really good, but so sad), so I’ve moved to a collection of older English mysteries.

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    11. Rara Avis*

      Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue. Well -written and based on a real lesbian couple who met at school in 1805. But like her Room, not a comforting read.

      Virals by Kathy Reichs. Fun YA by the author of the Temperance Brennan mysteries.

      The Antique Hunter’sGuide to Murder by C.L. Miller, daughter of well-known writer of antique guides. Interesting but the writing is only so-so.

      Next is Red, White, and Whole, a middle-grade novel in poetry about an Indian-American 12 year old coping with puberty and her mother’s leukemia diagnosis. I’m not a fan of novels told in poems, but we just heard the author talk, and it’s set in 1983, and she mentioned fashion, Cyndi Lauper, and Star Wars — I was 12 in 2983, so I figured I needed to read it.

      Reply ↓
  3. Valancy Stirling*

    Procrastination thread! What, if any, are you hoping to get done this weekend?

    (“Catch up on sleep” is an absolutely valid response!)

    Reply ↓
    1. Past Lurker*

      I want to purge my closet of clothes that I don’t want anymore. I’ll donate as much as possible and hopefully repurpose or recycle the rest.

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    3. Dark Macadamia*

      Put away the Christmas tree. I took all the decorations off of it two weeks ago and all the other holiday decor is gone but this naked tree has just been looming in the corner being too hard to confront, lol

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    4. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      Syllabi. Ugh. My brain is so foggy sometimes, and creating something new/modifying something existing feels like it hurts. But I know I will be much happier once I have the syllabi done and that I’ll be a better teacher once I have *my* roadmap set out for me!

      I don’t think I can bring myself to drive back to my apartment and clean it of pesticides in the biting cold that’s coming, but maybe later next week. Ugh.

      Reply ↓
    6. Amber Rose*

      I should probably pull the Christmas lights off the lawn…

      It’s also time to get back to the gym. I have been sick since December but I’m more or less better except for a cough so, it’s time.

      Reply ↓
    1. Valancy Stirling*

      I traveled to Chile with one of my best friends, who lives on the other end of the continent and whom I almost never get to see.

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    2. Falling Diphthong*

      I traded my old pair of Lothlorian wool/possum gloves for a new one. The old pair was getting thin in the palms, and the new pair is just delightfully warm and cozy and never gives me that “grk, thin spot there” when grabbing a car handle.

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    3. Teapot Translator*

      Finally received my pack of dogs playing cards from Artiphany! Delivery was delayed due to the strike.

      Reply ↓
    4. WellRed*

      On eBay I found a replacement for a top I loved that I didn’t get to enjoy for long because it got damaged (and I had paid full price I liked it so much). It arrives next week,

      Reply ↓
    5. WorkNowPaintLater*

      The weather warming up enough to melt the glacier that had formed around my car’s wiper blades. Catching a new episode of Will Trent. And realizing today that I can sleep in (for me) for three days in a row.

      Reply ↓
    6. Past Lurker*

      The online order form for my favorite coffeehouse didn’t let me select the latte flavor I wanted. They recently changed the order form, so I flagged it in case they wanted to fix it. I picked a different flavor but alerted them in the comment section that it wouldn’t let me pick that flavor. When I went to pick it up, they had made my latte with the flavor I originally wanted!

      Reply ↓
  6. Falling Diphthong*

    What are you watching, and would you recommend it?

    Blue Eyed Samurai is good if you’re up for a tale of animated revenge. This is definitely R rated, between the violence, nudity, and sex. In old Japan a mixed race warrior sets out to seek revenge on a whole lot of people. I liked the straightforward approach to brothels, and that the romance turned into less “a perfect pairing of souls” and more “we could be a step on each other’s journeys.”

    Returned to S2 of Silo, after taking a break because the slow pace was getting frustrating watching once a week. Will probably finish the last two episodes tonight. I like individual characters, but we have learned almost nothing and the whole middle of the season could have been an email.

    Did not finish No Good Deed, about the secrets that bubble up when a house is listed for sale in LA. I like stories where the house feels like a character in its own right, and this had a lot less of that than I expected–the people looking for a house needed shelter, and shelter with natural light and exposed beams is nice. They missed a chance to go much deeper on “Why do shows like House Hunters appeal so hard?” After three episodes, I didn’t care what happened to any of these people.

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    1. Teapot Translator*

      I’m watching The Last Detective. I like it, but I think they meant it to be funnier than it actually is.

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    2. Sloanicota*

      Sidenote, FD, I’ve been watching with dismay as whatever has been happening kept happening this week. I hope the site has figured out how to block that person’s IP or whatever. You are such a good commenter and it’s horrid.

      Reply ↓
    3. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

      *Sex and the City* — I missed it when it was on in the late ’90s/early 2000s, though of course I read about it. I like some of its LGBTQ+ representation so far, though the language is sometimes cringey and I haven’t seen all identities fully represented yet. But it’s nice to see at least a consistent presence of gay men in the series. I wasn’t even out as bi yet when the series was on, but watching the series feels like teleporting to a more hopeful time for LGBTQ+ rights, where what was in front of us was only going to get better. I also like fact that the series does not shy away from the representation of women being able to be unapologetically sexual if they want.

      Reply ↓
      1. Squirrel Nutkin (the teach, not the admin)*

        I will say there was (in my opinion) some bi erasure going on in one episode where an out apparently gay man marries a straight woman and they tell their friends they are in love and have great sex. The series seems to grudgingly admit that it’s possible (though individual characters doubt it) but never takes the step to saying, you know, lots of folks are bisexual or homoflexible — this isn’t that unheard of. That would have been nice.

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    4. Charlotte Lucas*

      I rewatched both seasons of the extremely funny British comedy Spy recently. Then realized that I want Darren Boyd and Alan Tudyk (or Wat from A Knight’s Tale, as he’s known in my household) to start in something together. Maybe as brothers.

      Reply ↓
  7. RLC*

    Grendel’s expression seems to say “you weren’t supposed to see me up here !”
    Would love the backstory on how he got to that perch.

    Reply ↓
      2. Ask a Manager* Post author

        It’s a big slab of live edge wood that’s hanging on the wall. He’s discovered that he can jump from the top of the cat tree in the corner onto the wood slab and walk along it. He’s also discovered that he can jump from the cat tree to the top of the window blinds, which I am less happy about.

        Reply ↓
  8. Anon5775*

    My partner and I are thinking of going to Lincoln or Omaha Nebraska for our summer trip. We like staying in Airbnb’s, but since we’ve never been to either city before, we’re not sure of the best neighborhoods to stay in to be close to say, the zoo, and other attractions. Alternatively if there are neighborhoods to avoid, I’d love that info as well. Can’t miss attractions we should see are also welcome. Thanks!

    Reply ↓
    1. Enjoy Nebraska*

      I live near but not in those areas. Don’t go during the College World series unless you are going FOR the College World Series. Also don’t go during Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting. Both of these are in Omaha and lodging prices are sky high. Then it depends – adults only or adults and kids? What do you like to do? Lincoln has some off-the-wall museums: roller skating museum, World of Speed (HUGE), International Quilt Museum, there’s a museum on the college campus. In between Lincoln and Omaha is a big outlet mall, Baker’s chocolate company, and the SAC (Strategic Air Command) museum. Omaha has its share of museums, so look at them and see if their exhibits are what interest you. The Durham Museum is small , it’s had some good exhibits and some not-so-good; Joslyn Art Museum, tour of Joslyn Castle if you like cool old historic buildings. There’s a Black History Museum (I haven’t been there yet), a children’s museum in both cities. Bellevue (near Omaha) has Fontenelle Forest Tree Rush. I’m not sure about areas where there would be Airbnbs.

      Reply ↓
  9. MissB*

    How does your garden planning go?

    Too wintery here to be growing much and this is the time of year that I really narrow down my choices of what to grow this year.

    So tell me what seeds/plants/new things you’re trying this year!

    I’m using the seed snail method for much of my seed starting this year.

    I’m looking forward to trying Biquinho peppers this year too. They’re super cute and supposedly good to pickle.

    Reply ↓
  10. Teapot Translator*

    I got myself a brand new deck of playing cards. What are you favourite card games to play alone? I’ll look them up on the Internet.

    Reply ↓
    1. Peanut Hamper*

      Plain old solitaire always works for me. I think it’s the “Klondike” version, but I’m not entirely sure.

      Reply ↓
    2. Charlotte Lucas*

      I like 13, also known as Pyramid.

      I love Free Cell as a computer game but have never tried to play it with real cards.

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  11. Don’t make me come over there*

    I asked for podcast recommendations recently and you all came through! Really enjoying 99% Invisible, and looking forward to checking out the others. Thanks!

    Reply ↓
  12. Peanut Hamper*

    I have (ironically) a weird question about peanuts.

    A few months ago, I bought a container of Fisher dry-roasted peanuts at Menard’s. They were delicious for a few days, but then I noticed they had a musty/moldy smell. Well, peanuts can grow mold and I figured that’s what I get for buying a cheap brand at Menard’s, so I threw them out.

    Then I bought some at Walmart (the Great Value brand) and had the same experience. Tasted great for 4-7 days, then had a musty/moldy smell. I thought that maybe they were from the same manufacturer (a slim chance, but still a chance) so I threw those out as well.

    A month later I bought name-brand dry roasted peanuts. And the same thing happened: fine for a few days, then a weird musty/moldy smell when I opened the container. Out they went.

    After that, I noticed that my jar of peanut butter from Aldi (which I love and have loved because it’s the bomb and thus I have been eating it for years) had the same smell. I did not throw it out, because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    Fast forward until this week, and I opened the jar of peanut butter and the smell is gone. Tasted a bit and it tasted fine.

    My question is….is there something weird going on with peanuts that I don’t know about? (A peanut recall I missed, maybe? I didn’t find anything at the other end of a google search that affected the smell of dry-roasted peanuts.) A bad year for peanuts? Possibly storing them wrong? (Although I’ve used the same pantry for years now.)

    I could think that I am imagining this, but it was just weird. Has anyone had a similar experience with a particular food? I’m completely perplexed. Googling “weird disease that makes peanuts smell bad” just brought up a lot of articles about peanut allergies and I am definitely not allergic to peanuts. (As proved by the large number of peanut butter cookies I bought from the store last week and ate.)

    Not looking for medical advice, just clues. Nothing else has smelled off to me in the past year.

    Reply ↓
    1. Not A Manager*

      When you open a peanut product, try storing it in the freezer (nuts) or fridge (peanut butter). See if that helps.

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    2. ThatGirl*

      Is there anyone you could ask next time? You don’t mention a partner or roommate but maybe a friend or coworker? I’d be curious if anyone else smelled it.

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    3. Washing Walls*

      Did you get sick in that time that could have caused allergy-like symptoms to peanuts? Maybe the smell was only in your head (not mentally, but I couldn’t find a better term).

      Reply ↓
  13. BeachyKeen*

    Looking for feedback/stories from folks who moved to a new city for a better climate/nature- do you feel it actually improved your QOL?

    I currently live in the Northeast US. I like where I live- good COL, exciting urban life, culture etc. I have lots of friends and a good community here which means a lot to me. I live 90 minutes from the beach, which I get to go 4 months out of the year because we have all four seasons.

    During those 4 months, and from trips I’ve been on in beach towns/cities, I realized my days feel more worthwhile and I just feel better when I “end” my day on the beach. It feels kind of sad to be living for those 4 months when this could be my life everyday if I had the guts to move and give it a try.

    I consider myself a realistic person- I know if I moved, I probably won’t go to the beach as much as I think, no place is perfect or comes without its flaws and the beach isn’t going to make everyday better. I also know I’d be looking at higher COL, home is where you make it and building community isn’t easy. I am single, without kids so I don’t need to worry about community the way some others do.

    I really have no desire to leave my current city besides this so would love to hear from others if making a change like this actually made an improvement in your quality of life

    Reply ↓
  14. Charlotte Lucas*

    What are some of your favorite films or TV shows that retell classic stories/books/plays from a fresh/different/modern perspective?

    Here’s a short list of what popped into my head (I will probably think of more later).

    Ball of Fire – A screwball comedy based on Snow White with Barbara Stanwyck as a gangster’s moll in hiding and Gary Cooper as the head of a group writing an encyclopedia. Instead of singing and cleaning house, she teaches them slang.

    Clueless – Best retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma.

    The Haunting of Hill House (TV series) – While I wasn’t crazy about the resolution in the final episode, I think this series was respectful of the source material while also turning it into an extended meditation on grief and loss.

    The Muppets’ Christmas Carol and Scrooged – Both great retellings for different reasons.

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    2. Dark Macadamia*

      Lizzie Bennet Diaries! In a way it’s the most accurate Pride and Prejudice adaptation. It’s very true to the characters and themes while modernizing it to be relatable to our current social norms. They also develop the sister relationships really well, especially Elizabeth and Lydia. I watched it as it was originally aired (on YouTube with fun social media character stuff too) and it was soooo good.

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    3. Professor Plum*

      Moonlighting’s episode that is a retelling of The Taming of the Shrew.

      O Brother, Where Art Thou? is an adaptation of Homer’s Greek Epic, The Odyssey.

      Gregory Maguire’s books retell classic fairy tales with a twist. I read his book Wicked after seeing the musical on stage, and now of course there’s the new film in theaters. Can’t wait for part 2!

      Reply ↓
  15. Aphrodite*

    Is anyone else a huge Jeopardy fan? I don’t own a television but watch it each night on YouTube. How do you think Ken is doing? It certainly seems to have change, which is not a bad thing. But the types of championship games, the pace of Ken’s speech, even the questions seem different somehow. I enjoy it, t just feels very different.

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  16. Marie*

    Does anyone have any dish towel recommendations? I bought some from Target and Kohl’s, but they seem to repel water.

    Reply ↓
    2. KayDee*

      I have noticed recently when shopping for dish towels for myself that a lot of them are a cotton/poly blend. I prefer 100% cotton for absorbency. And don’t use fabric softener when you launder your towels, kitchen or bath, and they will be much more absorbent. Just anecdotally, I bought some towels from Costco a whole back and at first they seemed to repel water, but after being washed a few times they became very absorbent. Don’t know if there was some kind of sizing or treatment on them or what, but maybe give your towels a few washes to see if that helps?

      Reply ↓
  17. Bookworm in Stitches*

    I want to do a hot cocoa bar! My plans so far are mini marshmallows, chocolate dipped spoons, a bottle of Irish Crème, mini gingerbread cookies that can hang off the sides of the mugs, and candy canes. What else would be fun to include?

    Reply ↓
    1. Jay*

      I love Rumchata in hot cocoa, also Rumple Mintz peppermint schnapps.
      Gingersnaps are great. If, by some minor miracle, you have access to Moravian spice gingersnaps, they are wonderful with hot cocoa.
      Home made whipped cream, especially vanilla whipped cream.
      Cinnamon sticks.
      Try making it with cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice.

      Reply ↓

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