boss told me to bring my sick four-year-old to work, coworkers saw my NSFW phone screen, and more by Alison Green on February 27, 2025 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me to bring my sick four-year-old to work with me I want to start off by saying I am the absolute backbone of our store and everyone, including my boss, knows it. My boss has the flu right now and my four-year-old has been sick. She woke up crying, feverish, snotty, etc. I texted my boss at 4 am (I was scheduled to open at 10:30 am) explaining that my child’s sickness had taken a turn for the worse and asked if there was a possibility that anyone else could cover. She responded that there was no one besides me who could work and I would just have to bring my sick daughter with me. I’d been up all night with my child as well, which I also stated to my boss. I don’t feel like this is fair. My sales are the highest, I feel I work the hardest, and I’m often told how great I am. Even corporate has reached out to me about my amazing sales. Am I overreacting? No, you’re not overreacting. It’s not reasonable to expect to you bring a sick child to work (nor would customers be likely to appreciate it). I think where you erred, though, was in asking if you could take a sick day. If we had a time machine, I’d send you back in it to instead say, “Jane is very sick and I’ve been up all night with her, so I won’t be able to open the store today.” Don’t ask, which implies you’re open to hearing “no” — say you wouldn’t be there and why (just like you’d presumably do if you yourself were throwing up or in the ER or so forth). There are some situations where you simply cannot come to work because of sickness, period. In those cases, it’s better not to cloud the situation by presenting it as optional. 2. My coworkers saw porn on my phone’s lock screen I graduated from college last May and got my first office job. I have my work iPhone and my personal phone. I only ever use my work phone for work things, of course, but my problem came from my personal phone. I downloaded something on my personal phone so that every time I turn on the screen, the lock screen background is an AI porn pic. A new pic comes up every time. Aside from obvious benefits, this motivates me to never take out my phone at work. I won’t even check my phone until I get to my car. (The reduced phone use was my New Year’s resolution, and it has made me noticeably mentally sharper.) But today, my phone was ringing from my backpack while I had three coworkers in my cubicle talking about a project. I usually keep it on silent but forgot this time. It kept ringing, and one of them asked if I needed to get it. I said no, and tried to turn my phone on silent with my hand still in the backpack while I peeked inside it. One asked why I didn’t just take my phone out, and I said it was fine. But I was struggling to hold the backpack and unlock my phone at the same time, and the backpack slid down and fell on the floor with my phone still in my hand. The porn was only there for a split second, but everyone there saw it. Everyone went dead silent, and they were looking between me and each other. I put the phone away immediately and tried to start up the previous conversation again, but everyone was giving minimal answers. The meeting ended shortly after that. After half an hour of silently panicking in my cubicle, I said I was sick and left to work from home the rest of the day. I’m working from home the rest of the week. I have no idea what to do. I hate how everyone is judging me for something that is not deontologically bad, but I never would’ve shown it at work. Everyone is looking at me like they think something’s wrong with me, and I’m terrified it will get to my manager. Will I lose my job? Does everyone hate me? What do I do now!? First and foremost, you should take the porn off your phone’s lock screen. Yes, you didn’t intend to have it out at work but, as this experience showed, there are ways that can still happen and the consequences are too severe if it does. Moreover, even if you never intended to bring your phone out while you were there, you were bringing pornographic material into your workplace! Find another way to reduce your phone use. (That’s before we even get into the reality that as you go about your non-work life and are using your personal phone, you’re probably exposing other people to pornography against their will, which really isn’t okay to do.) As for work … all you can really do is to make a point of being scrupulously professional from here on out. It’s unlikely that people hate you, although some of them might feel a little icky around you for a while until that impression gets overridden. You’re probably not going to get fired (although you might get spoken to about what is and isn’t appropriate to have at work). But yeah, you made people really uncomfortable because you exposed them to something sexual against their will! Demonstrate through your actions that it was out of character and that you’re professional and respect boundaries, and it shouldn’t be impossible to live down. 3. Can my out-of-office messages say that emails sent while I’m out will be deleted? I am going on vacation for just over two weeks with my husband — our first decent holiday since before the pandemic. Given the amount of emails I normally receive (about 100 daily), I want to leave an out-of-office that will politely say that I will not be reading my emails and therefore they will effectively be deleted. I will give details of a team member who can handle urgent requests (which she is happy to do) but beyond that I would just want to ask people to resend anything non-urgent on the date after my return. I have seen OOO emails along these lines but sometimes they come across as a bit aggressive. What is your advice on how to word this? This will be the first time in 17 years I haven’t taken work or my laptop away with me and I so need the break. And also not to come back to several hundred emails to wade through! There are jobs and companies where you could do this and jobs and companies where you couldn’t, so the first thing to figure out is whether this will be okay in your job and in your company. In some jobs, this would be seen as off-putting to clients (since it puts the burden on them to remember to contact you again in X days, which won’t necessarily be seen as reasonable or client-friendly) and/or out of sync with your company’s culture, or it might result in you missing things you really needed to know (if someone doesn’t bother to resend later as instructed, which is highly likely in some cases, especially since a lot of people don’t pay attention to the actual content of OOO messages). So you really need to know if it’s going to be been seen as reasonable in your office. If you’re not sure, ask your boss. But if you’re confident it’s fine in your particular context, then I’d word it the message way: “Emails sent to this address March 10-21 will not be read. For anything urgent during that time, please contact X at Y. Otherwise, please resend your message after March 21.” Related: my colleague’s auto-reply says she might never answer your email 4. Using an inhaler during a job interview For reasons I won’t go into, my employer is in the process of downsizing. I am currently a full-time, salaried employee, but within the next month I will either be changed to a part-time hourly employee or let go. I am actively looking for a new full-time role, and my employer is supportive of my job search. My issue is that recent cold winter weather, work stress, and other stressors have caused my asthma to flare up. Currently, it is difficult for me to speak more than a few words before I start wheezing. My doctor’s advice has been to continue my daily medication and use my rescue inhaler as needed, which I have been doing. This is a flare-up, it will eventually pass. Do you have any tips on how to navigate job interviews when I will likely start wheezing and need to use my inhaler in the middle of the interview? Is it appropriate to let the hiring manager know ahead of time via email that I’m okay, I’m healthy, I’m just having a temporary flare-up and they shouldn’t be alarmed if I have to use my inhaler during the interview? At the level I’m at in my career, interviews could easily last up to an hour. You can absolutely let them know that. At the start of the interview, you could say, “I’m having a temporary asthma flare-up from the weather. It’s nothing to worry about, but I might need to use my inhaler at some point while we’re talking and I don’t want you to be alarmed if that happens.” People will generally take their cues from you on this kind of thing, so the more your vibe is “I have this under control,” the more likely they are to take it that way. 5. Should my resume have an objective at the top? I am applying for an internal department director position at my organization. I’m doing a redesign of my resume since it’s been a while. Is it appropriate to put “Objective” at the top? I’m seeing this in a lot of templates, but it seems like overkill to me – I mean, the objective to get the position, is it not? Objectives at the top of resumes were outdated 15 years ago, and it’s bizarre that they’re still showing up in resume templates. You do not need one, and should not use one. They’re unnecessary, take up valuable real estate that’s better spent on something more important, and will look dated. You may also like:I think my coworker is lying about having a sick kidmy new employee is the parent of my child's bullyI saw my employee's X-rated chat { 70 comments }
Ask a Manager* Post authorFebruary 27, 2025 at 12:08 am A reminder: We’ve had a recent increase in trolling here, and you can help me by NOT RESPONDING to it. If you engage, you are ensuring that troll will reappear. Instead, please flag the comment for me (just reply with a link, which will send your comment to moderation so I’ll see it). A change to previous requests: please don’t reply “reported.” Enough people report these comments that you can trust it will be dealt with. Do not engage at all. Thank you. Reply ↓
Daria grace* February 27, 2025 at 12:15 am #2, i’m sympathetic to needing to take extra steps to minimise your phone usage but what you’re doing is weird and inappropriate. If you’re an iPhone user, I highly recommend the free app ScreenZen as a tool for reducing your screen use. You can set it to completely lock you out of apps during certain times, limit how long you spend it apps, only let you open selected apps a certain number of times a day, make chosen apps wait a set period of time before loading and a bunch of other things to break your phone habits. Reply ↓
Joana* February 27, 2025 at 12:46 am Yeah, things like that (ScreenZen isn’t the only app that does it, I’ve seen others, so there are a few choices) are definitely better and less intrusive than having porn on your lockscreen. There are plenty of choices people make that aren’t anyone’s business but their own, and in theory no one should be looking at your phone screen without permission, but it’s hard not ot in public and something like this is really hard to justify. Think of all the stories we hear about that creeper who was caught watching p0rn on a public computer in a library or similar place, for instance. It’s not a whole lot better even if the person is just carrying it around and not doing something else inappropriate. Reply ↓
Dahlia* February 27, 2025 at 12:49 am ScreenZen works on android, too, fyi. Also there are. A lot of ethical issues around AI porn that we don’t have time to unpack, but YOWZERS I didn’t expect to read that sentence today. Reply ↓
D* February 27, 2025 at 12:55 am I am baffled trying to figure out what the “obvious” benefits here are for something like this. It just seems like a way to get judged by everyone immediately. Reply ↓
Polyhymnia O’Keefe* February 27, 2025 at 1:06 am I took that to mean the obvious benefits of porn itself to this individual, and then extrapolating that to the benefit of having porn at one’s fingertips, so to speak, when taking the phone out for that purpose, rather than having to click through to an app or website. Reply ↓
D* February 27, 2025 at 1:10 am “The obvious benefit of having randomly generated porn at my fingertips at all times without even needing to have an intent to look at it,” just makes the this all sound creepier, honestly. LW, don’t…say that to anyone you want to respect you. Just change the program and try not to be too mortified about this in ten years. Reply ↓
Joana* February 27, 2025 at 1:14 am Yeah I’m all for people being less squeemish when talking about sex and sexuality, but this is different. It kind of falls into previous discussions about ‘it’s fine to have your own kink, but don’t make others unwilling participants in it.’ Maybe OP isn’t into having people “accidentally” see porn images, but it might come across that way to others. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:18 am Yes, which sucks – because everyone who sees you take your phone out is going to see it, children included. OP, you cannot do this. It’s selfish and creepy. Keep your porn at home and out of sight, like a considerate person would. I won’t even get into the ethics of AI, but I really hope everyone whose real image might have been used has consented to this. Honestly, if this happened to a co-worker of mine I’d try to put it out of my mind, but it would make me question their judgement. It kind of depends on what kind of porn it was though. If it was really bad… well, I’d consider a quick apology to those who saw it. Something along the lines of, “I did a stupid thing while trying to prevent myself from using my mobile phone at work, and I’m terribly embarrassed. I have of course changed my lock screen. You won’t see that again”. It also makes me think OP is woefully ignorant. They obviously never expect to be contacted for an actual emergency while they’re at work. I’m guessing they are very young, and very naïve. Reply ↓
Irish Teacher.* February 27, 2025 at 2:49 am Yeah, the LW said it’s not deontologically bad, by which I guess she meant porn in general or looking at porn, but I would say that having porn where non-consenting people can see it is objectively bad. I don’t mean the LW is objectively a bad person. She just sounds young and possibly a bit lacking in social skills, but just that the action was thoughtless and something that would effect others negatively. Reply ↓
Ellis Bell* February 27, 2025 at 3:24 am I don’t know if OP would describe themselves as impulsive generally, but the process behind this particular decision seems very impulsive. I disagree with people who are saying OP thinks it’s okay to have porn in public, I think that part of the equation simply wasn’t done in the thrill of conceiving such a nifty solution. OP thought “What benefits do I want out of my phone + what are its drawbacks?” They hit on a two-for-one solution, and the novelty and excitement meant they skipped the absolute most important part of making decisions which is the “what could go wrong?” stage of brainstorming. For those of us who do, (or have learned to) consider what can go wrong, a phone with a porn lock screen would obviously become a radioactive thing which would never leave the house. Reply ↓
Caramel & Cheddar* February 27, 2025 at 1:14 am Forest is a good option for Android users that has similar features. Reply ↓
wormentude* February 27, 2025 at 3:05 am I like the Minimalist Phone Launcher on android. Takes the visually stimulating icons out, can block apps at certain times and makes you wait before some apps will open. Reply ↓
Viki* February 27, 2025 at 12:16 am 3. The amount of emails I get per day and how fast things change, means if I’m out for a week, it’s usually irrelevant when I get back. I personally have a rule where all emails that aren’t from my boss, or my team are directed to a folder and I will peruse at my leisure (aka mostly likely mass delete unless the subject line catches my attention.) Check if your work place is one of those, and then maybe not put delete in the auto reply, but only those pertinent when you return on x date will be addressed. Or something like that Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:22 am Bah, I just go through the potentially thousands of emails once I get back. Does it really matter if it takes a few days, when you’ve been out for more than a few weeks anyway? Most of them you can just skim, but occasionally, they’ll be something you need to know about (e.g. someone’s resigned, or a project’s been cancelled). Reply ↓
Mutually Supportive* February 27, 2025 at 2:48 am I go through them all too, but I’ll also start with having a quick catch up on the first day back with key colleagues so if there’s anything as important as “the project is cancelled” I’d expect someone to tell me before I’ve spent 3 days wading through emails! Reply ↓
Anon for this* February 27, 2025 at 12:18 am To me, someone having porn set to their phone screen is just as bad as those people who wear jackets with the anime porn faces on them. If I were a hiring manager, I would not hire someone who thought that was tasteful clothing to wear to a job interview, and the same rules kind of apply to phone screens too. I would also be incredibly annoyed to learn a coworker was bringing porn into the workplace, because, well… what are they doing with the porn? Porn is generally intended to be used for completely non work related activities, so aside from the discomfort of being made to look at it, there’d also be the wondering how much of their shift they’re wasting on looking at that and doing things when they should be working. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:25 am I saw someone once with an explicit porn tattoo on their calf. It made them look really sad, like they must have given up on having any kind of place in society. Plus, it looked really out of place in a supermarket. Reply ↓
H* February 27, 2025 at 12:22 am Using a deontological framework to justify the decision to have porn ai as your lock screen is an intriguing choice. Reply ↓
Silver Robin* February 27, 2025 at 12:40 am yeah that was an entertaining sentence to read. If anyone wants a quick definition: 1. Ethical theory concerned with duties and rights. 2. The science which relates to duty or moral obligation. 3. The ethical study of duties, obligations, and rights, with an approach focusing on the rightness or wrongness of actions themselves and not on the goodness or badness of the consequences of those actions. Reply ↓
Tio* February 27, 2025 at 12:41 am Yeah, like, there’s nothing deontologically wrong with wearing stained sweatpants at work, but you can’t do that either. There are rules, you broke them, and in a way worse way than the sweatpants because other people are more affected by seeing random porn than old sweatpants! OP, you knew this was not ok, and that’s part of why you used it – as a disincentive. It worked out badly. Take it off your screen and work really hard to be the perfect professional from now on. Reply ↓
Mid* February 27, 2025 at 1:30 am I snorted at that part of the letter, and have a strong suspicion this person could be my ex. (Well, it’s unlikely, but it deeply sounds like something my ex would do/say/write.) But for the LW, regardless of your personal philosophies, porn is never okay in the office, so it’s best to not have on your phone screen even if you don’t intend to look at it. Phones have built in time restrictions you can set (you could even have a friend set up the password so you can’t access it), there are numerous third party apps and devices (lock boxes, etc) that can stop you from accessing apps or your entire phone. Exposing everyone around you to porn without their consent is not the best, most reasonable solution. Reply ↓
Dark Macadamia* February 27, 2025 at 1:40 am Right??? Granted, 99% of my understanding of philosophy comes from watching The Good Place, but I feel like “don’t non-consensually expose people to porn in public” is a pretty reasonable ethical rule. If your justification for something is “it’s technically allowed” you probably know you’re in the wrong, and it definitely makes this feel extra creepy to me. Reply ↓
123* February 27, 2025 at 12:25 am #2. Full transparency you will now have to work extra hard to lose any reputation about being perceived as icky or creepy. I’m sorry, but no matter what reason you give people it comes across really gross having porn as your Lock Screen. Not trying to be mean but trying to be honest about truely how bad this looks to basically everyone around you… even outside of work in every day life for anyone who sees it. Reply ↓
Daria grace* February 27, 2025 at 12:34 am I suspect trying to give your coworkers a reason/context for this risks making things worse not better Reply ↓
Silver Robin* February 27, 2025 at 12:44 am yeah… folks are likely assuming this is an issue of forgetting to close out of an app or something. And while that is not something one should be looking at during work hours, it is easy enough to imagine as a mistake. Sure, lapse in judgement, but one that is common enough that people can comprehend and move on. Explaining that you put it there on purpose to reduce your phone usage…that is a bigger and weirder error in judgement that would make folks remember for way longer. Reply ↓
Ellis Bell* February 27, 2025 at 2:11 am This is true. Plus it was fairly obvious, given a colleague commented on it, that OP was not being very smooth or organised with their phone. It’s going to come over more like an embarrassing accident than deliberately creepy exposure. If OP gets into the weeds of discussing it, it instead risks raising the prospect of their judgement and the fact that exposing people to porn non consensually was due to their thoughtlessness. Less said, soonest mended. Reply ↓
bel* February 27, 2025 at 12:44 am Yeah. There’s no good explanation. Apologize if it comes up (your coworkers might prefer to pretend it never happened) and make damn sure that it doesn’t happen again. That means no porn on your phone. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:27 am I think an apology might help. At least it would signal that the behaviour is not likely to be repeated, and that they get that this was unacceptable. Reply ↓
Heidi* February 27, 2025 at 12:50 am “Everyone is looking at me like they think something’s wrong with me…” I wonder how LW2 knows this if they left work right away and have been working from home since. Reply ↓
nnn* February 27, 2025 at 12:54 am Since it says they wrote the letter the day it happened I read that as meaning that’s how people were looking at them in the meeting where it happened. Reply ↓
Meow* February 27, 2025 at 12:50 am #2, I’m more concerned that somehow you believe you’ve done nothing wrong or unprofessional, and believe you are the victim, than the already at minimum bizarre situation you got yourself into. I’m seeing a real lack of insight and accountability here. Reply ↓
Forensic13* February 27, 2025 at 12:54 am #2: this may not be an issue, but I would be extra wary about using AI-generated pornography. I wouldn’t trust it to know what would constitute especially taboo or illegal content, so there would be the risk that on top of something being NSFW, it might be something truly offensive even outside of work. Reply ↓
Joana* February 27, 2025 at 12:59 am Ooh I didn’t even think of that. Mostly in my mind when I think of AI images, I think of the bizarre ways they go wrong: extra limbs, people fused together, AI’s absolute failure at rendering discernible text. But I’ve definitely heard of it creating/promoting material that is ‘report to the police’ level of bad if you saw someone with it. Embarrassment is probably the least of someone’s problems in that case. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:31 am It was the first thing I thought of. Mainly because the way OP described people’s reactions sounded a bit over the top for a regular image. So I either assumed they worked at a Catholic primary school, or more likely, the AI algorithm comes up with some truly weird stuff. Reply ↓
Caramel & Cheddar* February 27, 2025 at 1:11 am There’s also a lot of revenge porn being done via AI now, which seems like another thing you wouldn’t necessarily want on your phone. Reply ↓
RC* February 27, 2025 at 1:32 am Yeah this was my thought as well; AI is already icky for the usual art, IP, and environmental reasons, and if you’re using it for porn I’m not surprised if it’s super extra icky and nonconsensual, be it revenge porn or CSAM that it might come up with. Reply ↓
Roland* February 27, 2025 at 2:15 am AI images cannot be CSAM. CSAM is bad and illegal because it requires the abuse of a child, not because it’s icky. Reply ↓
bamcheeks* February 27, 2025 at 2:27 am From the ethics of making it / it existing, yes, but in this situation where LW is exposing someone else to that visual there’s know distinction because they don’t know it’s AI. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:33 am It perpetuates the market for that kind of material. Where I live, you can absolutely be prosecuted for having an AI image on your phone depicting child abuse, even if there was no real child involved at any time. Reply ↓
Roland* February 27, 2025 at 3:20 am I believe you that it is prosecutable where you are, but it is still not CSAM. CSAM is a very specific term created to highlight the fact that it’s evidence of child abuse, which previous terminology didn’t really do (source: RAINN). I think this distinction is not nitpicking and really really matters so that we remember that “this is evidence of a horrific crime” is the main problem here. Reply ↓
Disappointed With the Staff* February 27, 2025 at 1:38 am “offensive” meaning strict liability offense under the law? Yes, definitely that can happen. I’m waiting for the first case where a user is convicted for possession of something that provably comes from one of the major public AI companies public servers. If possession is illegal manufacture is even more so. But are AI companies subject to the law? Only time will tell. Reply ↓
Roland* February 27, 2025 at 2:17 am In the US at least, depictions of illegal acts are not illegal. There’s lot of good reasons for OP to stop but that’s not really one of them. Reply ↓
yvve* February 27, 2025 at 12:58 am This One Weird Trick Will Reduce Your Phone Usage At Work! You Won’t Believe It Reply ↓
Potato Potato* February 27, 2025 at 2:16 am Next: How To Reduce Your Incoming Messages Because Nobody Wants to Talk To You Reply ↓
D* February 27, 2025 at 2:39 am If it came off like this to coworkers, I can only imagine what a date would think if they caught sight of this mess, which is significantly more likely. Conceivably LW’s friends might be the type to be into this or think it’s funny. A date is much less likely to, I think. Reply ↓
Teapot Connoisseuse* February 27, 2025 at 2:45 am Glad I didn’t have a mouthful of tea while reading this, or it might have forcibly reduced my phone use until I could save up for a new one! Reply ↓
FunkyMunky* February 27, 2025 at 12:59 am LW2 sounds very young and immature. Hopefully there will be lessons in this going forward! Reply ↓
Ellka* February 27, 2025 at 1:06 am Porn as your wallpaper is an overall bad idea. What if a child happens to see it (outside of work, obviously). Your coworkers could take this to HR, but even if they don’t, be prepared for this to be a topic of gossip for a bit. Reply ↓
FanciestCat* February 27, 2025 at 1:15 am On #5, I agree with they’re totally outdated in the US but I was looking at some CV templates for NZ and they contained objectives (although it did say it was optional). Are they outdated there too, or still more of a thing? What about other countries? Reply ↓
Andy* February 27, 2025 at 2:09 am In late 90s Australian high school this was never a thing when we covered resume writing. I was surprised to see it on resumes that came in while I was working part time in college less than a decade later (not least of all because it was a retail job!). I’ve never used it when applying for any job; I would have thought that was covered in the application letter. Reply ↓
Jill Swinburne* February 27, 2025 at 2:12 am I live in NZ and don’t have one and have never been asked about it. Reply ↓
bamcheeks* February 27, 2025 at 2:30 am UK – I don’t like objectives but I do look for / use a summary at the top, typically 3-4 bullet points summarising professional identity, length/relevance of experience and what you’re looking for. I find it really helpful to have an at-a-glance summary of someone’s experience and understand how they see this job fitting into their overall plan. Reply ↓
Tau* February 27, 2025 at 1:24 am #4, I just wanted to cosign Alison’s statement here – People will generally take their cues from you on this kind of thing, so the more your vibe is “I have this under control,” the more likely they are to take it that way. Very different situation, but I have a stutter. When I left university and started looking for jobs, I decided to try addressing it openly at the start of interviews etc. It helps a ton – not only does it reduce stress a lot on my part because I’m not worrying about when people notice and what they think, but I’ve had no negative along with some really stunningly positive reactions to it, along the lines of the atmosphere in an interview instantly feeling several degrees warmer after disclosure. I think there’s something about disclosing like this that can make you seem both professional and in control (because that’s the message you’re sending – “hey, I got this”) but also open and approachable (because you’re sharing a “vulnerability”), and a lot of people react well to that. At this point I disclose whenever I meet someone new if there’s any way of fitting it into the conversation, and would recommend it to anyone with a similar thing going on. Reply ↓
Mass Debater* February 27, 2025 at 2:07 am Parental controls: LW2: “So anyway, I downloaded porn.” Reply ↓
ElliottRook* February 27, 2025 at 2:12 am #2…this is a natural consequence of thinking it’s okay to use generative AI. Reply ↓
ChatGPT, dude* February 27, 2025 at 2:15 am I use generative AI a lot – particularly to help me generate programming scripts – and have never once had the inclination to use it remotely like LW2. Reply ↓
Ellis Bell* February 27, 2025 at 2:16 am OP1, while your boss should definitely have had the wherewithal to say “Oh obviously you can’t come in.. say no more”, they clearly don’t. If it’s something you can’t do, make it clearer you’re not asking for permission, the fates have already spoken. The fact that you’re a superstar should embolden you here. Your word will be trusted if you say something is impossible. Reply ↓
Ellie* February 27, 2025 at 2:39 am I don’t think its too late though. You can always text back and say, “After having another look at her, I’ve realised I really can’t come in. She will vomit on the floor, and I have to get her to a doctor. I won’t be able to come in today”, and then just stick to it. Reply ↓
JJ* February 27, 2025 at 2:33 am OP2. Yeah, this made me laugh. Particularly the part that you did this to avoid phone overuse, like, surely there are better ways! It’s like setting a mouse trap in your snack bar and losing a finger. Anyway, I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson. As for damage control, I’d write to the people who witnessed the background and apologize, saying you got a weird virus on your phone or that a friend pranked you with an AI generated background “surprise” app, or something. And just for heaven’s sake don’t do this again, but if you do, please do tell. Reply ↓
Ron McDon* February 27, 2025 at 2:51 am I was coming here to suggest something like this – if I saw this on a coworker’s phone screen I’d feel very uncomfortable being around them, but if they explained their phone had been hacked that morning and they were trying to find out how to reset it, I’d feel very understanding, and probably sympathetic towards them. If they said they’d added a porn background screen to stop them using their phone so much, I’d think they were a bit weird and want to avoid them going forwards. Sorry, OP2. Reply ↓
Empress Ki* February 27, 2025 at 3:12 am I don’t approve what LW did, but avoiding someone for this seems a very strong reaction for me. Reply ↓
Bluz* February 27, 2025 at 2:34 am LW2-just ew. What did I just read??? If I was one of your coworkers I would definitely judge you and then wonder if you were doing something at work with the porn. I don’t know what possessed you to download porn thinking this was a valid solution when you could have downloaded an app to help limit your screen use. You will definitely have to be very professional since as a coworker I would look at you in a different light from now on. Hopefully people will forget and move on. Reply ↓
Leenie* February 27, 2025 at 3:07 am Professional life aside, it’s really inadvisable to have porn on your lock screen if you ever want to date or even just hang out with actual people in real life. Or you know, ever answer your phone at Target while unsuspecting people are nearby. Or interact with humans in person on any level ever. Online edgelord behavior doesn’t translate well to real life. Reply ↓
mountain lookout* February 27, 2025 at 3:15 am ⠀ ⢀⣤⣶⣾⣷⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣤⣄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣶⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠉⠉⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠚⠻⠿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Reply ↓