is it a terrible offense to include profanity in a resume? by Alison Green on February 4, 2025 A reader writes: My husband is a blue collar worker, and he’s very experienced in his field. A little less than a year ago, he decided to switch jobs. He went from doing residential work in people’s homes to commercial work on big buildings. He had over two decades of experience doing the residential side of things, but very little commercial experience. So, in some ways it was like starting over again and having to train from the ground up. At the time, he had two competing job offers: one with a residential company that was offering a slightly lower base pay, but more potential bonuses and benefits, and the commercial company he ultimately went with. To leverage the other offer, he talked to the commercial company and they decided to hire him at a slightly lower rate than he wanted but with an extra week of PTO, and they said they would look at a raise at his 90-day review to bring him up where he wanted to be, based on his performance. At his 90-day review, his boss told him that he was incredibly impressed with how fast he was learning the job. His exact words were, “You’re kicking ass and taking names!” He told my husband that they were not only going to give him a bigger raise than promised, they were also going to give him a new work van and send him to be trained for bigger, more complex systems and look at another significant pay bump at the one-year mark if his trajectory continued. When my husband showed me his glowing review, I told him to make sure and include that on his resume. He’s not actively looking for a new job at the moment, but he is going back to school and needs an updated resume for that (as well as just keeping his resume fresh). We have a relative who is a hiring manager in a white collar industry (think banking/finance). At a recent family gathering, my husband was talking to this relative and asked for their opinion on his resume. When they saw that he had written that his boss had said he was “kicking ass and taking names” at his 90-day review, they told my husband that that was unbelievably unprofessional and that they would have thrown his resume directly into the garbage the second they saw that. They said having that comment on his resume would make them seriously question his judgment, and they would never, ever hire someone who thought that was acceptable … and in fact, they would consider reaching out to their industry contacts and telling others to avoid that person as well because it was so wildly inappropriate. My husband was very taken aback and upset by this, but I told him that this feels like (1) a bit of an overreaction, and (2) a difference in industry norms. I said that he was just quoting his boss and the feedback was literally written on his evaluation and told to him verbally, and other people in the same industry wouldn’t be thrown by it at all. I said he could take it off of his resume if he wanted and just leave the other details, but personally I thought it was charming and showed how enthusiastic his employer is about his work. I work in healthcare, so I feel like I’m predisposed to lean more towards being conservative, but even I thought that the response my husband got was over the top. If I saw that on a resume, my first thought would be, “Clearly, their last boss was very enthusiastic about their work!” (We do live in a more culturally conservative area, though where my husband and I work has become quite a bit more progressive in recent years.) He seems to be a bit deflated by this, so I wanted to seek other opinions. Is this a “never ever under any circumstances” type of thing, or is this something that can be more industry-dependent? Your relative’s reaction was over the top. I wouldn’t include “kicking ass and taking names!” on a resume, but that’s largely because it’s not specific enough, not because it’s an outrageous offense. I mean, it’s true that you normally shouldn’t include profanity on a resume, and the bar is pretty high for doing it. (There are times when I’d consider it, though! If Barack Obama or, I don’t know, Tom Hanks put in writing that I was “incredible at getting shit done,” I’d seriously consider putting that on a resume. But again, that’s a high bar — and even then some people might raise their eyebrows at it, but that would be outweighed by the number of people who loved it.) My take on the quote your husband used is that it doesn’t convey enough about why his employer felt he was kicking ass and taking names, which is ultimately the part that matters. It would be more effective to write about the work specifics that made them feel that way. For example: “In first 90 days, exceeded team’s previous sales by 20% and brought in two new six-figure contracts, earning kudos from management and an unusual out-of-cycle salary increase.” (That said, I could see using the “kicking ass and taking names” quote in a cover letter if there was a way to work it in organically.) Regardless, though, your relative’s reaction is absurd. They’d reach out to industry contacts to tell them never to hire him? That’s ridiculous, and that tells you that this is someone with no sense of proportion and with bad judgment. It’s absolutely useful for your relative to share that the wording would be considered unprofessional in their industry, but once they went beyond that, they were teaching you something about themselves more than about resume-writing (and that lesson is that you shouldn’t take professional advice from them). You may also like:I said something profane to my boss, should I tell my manager my coworker is in jail, and moremy coworker drops F-bombs all day longmy boss asked coworkers if my husband has violent tendencies { 134 comments }
Wendy T* February 4, 2025 at 2:29 pm The only thing cringier than inappropriate cursing is implying that you’re cursing but not actually saying the word Reply ↓
Honey Badger* February 4, 2025 at 2:52 pm Yes. Leave all of it off the resume. Relative went overboard but many companies would throw it in the trash. Reply ↓
Lana Kane* February 4, 2025 at 3:52 pm Yeah the relative lost me at cold-calling people in the industry, like wtf. But unless this is super normal in the industry, I’d be unpleasantly surprised at that being in a resume I was reviewing. The person would have to seem like a perfect fit. Just explain how the ass-kicking and name-taking happened! Reply ↓
Aggretsuko* February 4, 2025 at 2:55 pm It looks lame, but lets you skate by on a technicality. Which might be what should be happening here in case anyone runs into Snitty Relative. Reply ↓
Helewise* February 4, 2025 at 2:42 pm Online maybe, but in a professional communication that’s exactly the way to go. Reply ↓
Antilles* February 4, 2025 at 2:58 pm If using the actual word would be too out of line for the professional communication you’re sending, you should think hard about whether you actually need the direct quote in the first place. Reply ↓
Festively Dressed Earl* February 4, 2025 at 2:37 pm My thoughts exactly. If you’re combining that with Alison’s advice, you’d follow up your accomplishments with ‘In my review, my supervisor said I was “kicking [patootie] and taking names!”‘ Reply ↓
Momma Bear* February 4, 2025 at 3:27 pm Agreed, but also to Alison’s point, he should specify why he was praised for this work. What did he do to warrant that praise? I also very much agree that the relative was out of line. What? That’s too much. Reply ↓
ecnaseener* February 4, 2025 at 4:55 pm Maybe I’m hopelessly unethical, but I would just…change the quote without brackets. (If I were to include it, which I might do on a cover letter but not a resume) I’d write “kicking butt and taking names” and trust that my former manager wouldn’t mind. Reply ↓
Successful Birthday Rememberer* February 4, 2025 at 2:06 pm ….Does your relative like your husband? Or is the relative known for being combative? That was so…unique. Relative was being A Butt. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:10 pm That was my first thought: Relative is a snob and looks down on Husband. This is not a Husband problem, it’s a Relative problem. Relative was being disgustingly rude. Reply ↓
Three Flowers* February 4, 2025 at 2:23 pm Yeah, I think part of Relative’s extreme overreaction is an “ugh, these trade guys are so *stupid* about how real adults should behave in the workplace. I with my white-collar job should give him an education.” Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 2:34 pm This is completely on the mark. *Absolutely* a Relative problem. Reply ↓
Barry* February 4, 2025 at 2:23 pm It is an over the top reaction but honestly this would be incredibly unprofessional on a resume in many industries. It -may- raise a smile and be appreciated by some hiring managers, but equally it may mean the resume is immediately at the bottom of the pile. Why take the risk? Just add a sanitised statement that he had exceeded targets and expectations rather than a direct quote. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:28 pm Relative could have phrased it more nicely, and, dare I say, professionally: “John, your average recruiter for llama groomers would think this phrase too casual to put on a resume.” Not “YOU IGNORANT LOUT HOW DARE YOU USE PRO-FAN-I-TEE!” Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 2:36 pm It is an over the top reaction but honestly this would be incredibly unprofessional on a resume in many industries. Well, that’s the thing. If the relative had simply said that, the LW would not be writing in. But the Relative’s reaction is beyond over the top. This is not an overly intense reaction to a problematic item, but verging on simply unhinged. Reply ↓
Lacey* February 4, 2025 at 2:30 pm Yeah. Even if this was a total no-no, it still doesn’t make sense to react like that. All the relative needed to say was, “Oh, I’d be careful with that, in my industry that would get you put on a no-hire list” Reply ↓
Landry* February 4, 2025 at 2:52 pm Except it might not. Even in more white collar, conservative industries, there could be some businesses and hiring managers that wouldn’t bat an eyelash at it — or if they did, it wouldn’t immediately go into the reject pile. Reply ↓
Le Sigh* February 4, 2025 at 4:11 pm I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if the rest of the application was good. I don’t know that I would move them to the front of the pile, but I also wouldn’t reject it — it would depend on the rest of the application. Reply ↓
Lydia* February 4, 2025 at 5:52 pm Even a no-hire list is not accurate. It would be far more appropriate to hedge the language all over the place. “Oh, I’d be careful with that. In my industry they would probably pass you over because of that.” It’s measured and accurate. Some might not and just think it was a weird oversite; some might be put off and pass over the resume. Wondering if Relative also clutched their pearls and swooned. Reply ↓
ferrina* February 4, 2025 at 2:41 pm I’m also curious what field the relative works in. In my industry, it would be seen as not great judgement but to blacklist someone for it would be utterly ridiculous. Does relative work in an extremely conservative industry? Or in an industry that is known for softening language? Is the relative currently working? Side note- my relatives that are loudest about Knowing Professional Norms are also the ones that have the most questionable career record. Would be curious if this is just my extended family (which is admittedly quite dysfunctional) or if this is true for other people too. Reply ↓
Coverage Associate* February 4, 2025 at 3:01 pm I was also thinking this relative either has too much free time or doesn’t actually participate in hiring. Very few hiring managers have time to call all the other possible hiring managers to try to black list someone from an industry. Especially someone that they haven’t met, let alone worked with. Reply ↓
Le Sigh* February 4, 2025 at 4:14 pm I’ve gotten some applications that made me question the applicant’s judgment and caused me to reject them, but that’s the beginning and end of it. I simply click “reject” and move on with my day. Reply ↓
Artemesia* February 4, 2025 at 3:37 pm The ‘contact everyone on earth to put you on a blacklist’ part was stupid. but the advice is not bad i.e. don’t quote it. The quote introduce an unnecessary vulgarity and still doesn’t actually say what he did to be rewarded. Noting the early raise and high praise because he did X Y and Z to ABC effect is more powerful than the vulgarity. Sure most people are not going to overreact but why turn off those who will — when job hunting. Reply ↓
ndawn90* February 4, 2025 at 4:20 pm OP here, and that’s actually a great question. The answer is: I don’t know. I genuinely do not know where my husband and I stand with this person, even after 10 years. They are one of those people who come across as standoffish and cold and judgemental, but I can’t figure out if they are actually like that, or if that’s just a knock on effect from being shy. I will also say that they are currently experiencing a temporary medical condition that has a somewhat definitive end date (this summer) and is known for causing fluctuations in mood, and that may be a factor here. I would actually totally believe that they look down on blue collar workers, except that their spouse works in the same industry as mine, as well as most of my husband’s family. In fact, his last job was working for the family business with this person’s spouse. At the same time, I would say of the relatives in the industry/family business, this person’s spouse is the least involved, and does do side work in a different (but still technically blue collar) industry. All of which is to say – I genuinely do not know. This person truly stumps me. Reply ↓
Nobby Nobbs* February 4, 2025 at 4:39 pm They don’t sound like somebody to take social skills advice from, professional or otherwise, for sure! Reply ↓
iglwif* February 4, 2025 at 4:37 pm That was my reaction exactly. Specifically, that Relative feels Husband is too blue-collar for OP, or something like that. Reply ↓
Zona the Great* February 4, 2025 at 2:08 pm I remember a great cover letter Alison shared here that had the phrase, “so I thought, Fuck It, and applied”. You just need to know your audience as best you can and be yourself. Reply ↓
Ask a Manager* Post authorFebruary 4, 2025 at 2:15 pm Hmmm, that was not in any cover letter I’ve shared here (I just doublechecked in case I am losing my memory). I wouldn’t recommend that — much too casual and also unnecessary! Reply ↓
So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out* February 4, 2025 at 2:31 pm It also seems to me to fall under the same non-swear objection: it doesn’t add anything to the letter. It wouldn’t be much better if it was written “so I thought, why not, and applied” Reply ↓
Cease and D6* February 4, 2025 at 2:38 pm I’d say it does more than adds nothing – it detracts! One typically does not want to imply in a cover letter that they are just applying on a whim, rather than for a good reason. Reply ↓
Honey Badger* February 4, 2025 at 2:55 pm Ive read this column every day for years and I’ve never seen her say that. Reply ↓
I should really pick a name* February 4, 2025 at 2:08 pm I’d say this is a never thing. There’s just no benefit to it when you can convey the same thing without profanity. Sure, some employers will be fine with it, by why risk it when some definitely would not be? There’s no need to provide a verbatim quote on a resume. Reply ↓
Venus* February 4, 2025 at 2:20 pm I have included comments from clients when asking for a raise, but agreed that I would never do so on a resume because I stick to more specific details. I agree with Alison and others that the relative is completely out of touch. Reply ↓
Falling Diphthong* February 4, 2025 at 2:32 pm The first relative is perhaps wrong, but the other is even more wrong. Reply ↓
AngryOctopus* February 4, 2025 at 2:21 pm Right? You can say “enthusiastically lauded by boss for [achievments] in a short period of time, resulting in an off cycle raise and [whatever else happened]. There’s just no reason to put in something so casual, off the cuff, and general as a verbatim statement. You can tell it as a funny story to people, but it doesn’t go on the resume as such. Reply ↓
MsM* February 4, 2025 at 2:09 pm I think I’m somewhere between Alison and the relative. A resume isn’t the place for personal endorsements, and I do think it demonstrates questionable judgment to include profanity in an application unless you know that’s something your audience will be okay with. Even if it is a quote from Tom Hanks, you can always just bracket it as [stuff]. I wouldn’t go around blacklisting someone for it, though. Reply ↓
learnedthehardway* February 4, 2025 at 2:19 pm Agreed. I would (as a recruiter) certainly look with askance at a resume that included a profanity-laced quote, but then again, I also side-eye resumes that have a lot of personal endorsements. I’m going to do a reference check, if I want to know what a former manager’s opinion of someone was – a) to be sure I’m really getting their actual opinion and b) to make sure their input is relevant to the job I’m hiring for. At the interviewing stage, I want to know about the candidate’s qualifications and experience. The relative’s opinion is a bit over the top, but I will say that I have hiring manager who have knocked candidates out for being “too rough around the edges” – and that doesn’t even include profanities. I would personally save that anecdote about the manager for an interview and would gauge whether to quote verbatim or whether to paraphrase as “My manager praised my efforts and told me I was doing a great job.” Knowing your audience is important. Reply ↓
Honey Badger* February 4, 2025 at 2:58 pm Yes. Personal endorsements themselves on a resume seeming reaching. Reply ↓
Seashell* February 4, 2025 at 2:19 pm I agree. It’s easy enough to report the boss’ appreciation without profanity or even any direct quote & in a cover letter. Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 2:35 pm This is where I land, too. I’m not sure I love personal endorsements as part of a resume in general. I might look sideways at a quote from anyone on a resume. Give me some measurables versus, “this person is the hardest worker I’ve ever met.” But I also can’t imagine reacting the same way the relative did. That reeks of looking down on the kind of work the husband is doing. Reply ↓
ferrina* February 4, 2025 at 2:45 pm I agree with the personal endorsements- it just doesn’t add anything to a resume. But know your industry before adding brackets. In my industry that would be seen as very odd, and we’d question why you thought it was necessary. But if you worked in, say, childcare, the brackets would absolutely make sense. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:09 pm I would not include a “cluster f bomb” type of profanity on a resume, but what your husband put was not even something I’d consider profane. Casual, slang-y, certainly, but not profane. Your relative clutched his pearls way too hard, and you can tell him an AAM reader thinks he’s being Ned Flanders. I don’t think a phrase like “kicking a**” is going to send a resume to hi-diddly- round-file unless it’s a very conservative industry. Alison is right that what is lacking is being specific. *How* did your husband accomplish his kicking a** and taking names? I think that’s more what recruiters and future bosses want to hear about, rather than a nebulous statement of “I’m great!” (And yes, if someone like Barack Obama said that to your husband he can include it! That’s a specific compliment from a specific person.) Does your relative look down on your husband in general? You mentioned your husband is blue-collar and relative is in a prestigious white collar job, so, I am inclined to think that your relative is just being a snobbish jerk to your husband, and trying to make him feel bad. Support your husband, tell him you think Relative over-reacted, you are on your husband’s team all the way. And maybe think twice about interacting with this unpleasant relative in the future; certainly don’t seek any career advice from him! He’s not well-meaning at all. Reply ↓
Colette* February 4, 2025 at 2:27 pm This is kind of where I land. This is a descriptive quote, and it’s very, very low-level profanity. I don’t see that it’s a problem for that reason – but I don’t think it would be helpful on a resume. It might be something to work in to a cover letter, though. Reply ↓
Turquoisecow* February 4, 2025 at 4:59 pm It might be that I work with casual (white collar) people but I’ve had bosses use the word ass and an occasional f-bomb in manners similar to this sentence and I didn’t bat an eye. (Like in a euphemism like “you kicked ass at that” or “what the (F) is happening here?”, not directed at an individual or meant as an insult or anything like that.) I think a resume including mild profanity would indicate that the applicant was new to the professional world (and in this case would obviously show a more blue collar background) and maybe hadn’t yet learned the art of code-switching; ie speaking differently in different environments and to different people. Not insurmountable unless you’re hiring an executive or someone who’s going to be dealing with the public. If they’re otherwise qualified and professional in an interview then I wouldn’t think anything of it. I do agree that it’s not the sort of thing you’d put on a resume, unless you were somehow adding a bunch of like endorsements from bosses and coworkers and such. Maybe a cover letter, but those are usually focused more on how you will do in the new job rather than the old. (“I hope to continue to, ass Old Boss put it, kick ass and take names with Llama Corp,” maybe?). But yeah Relative is a bit overboard black listing someone from the entire industry for daring to put the word “ass,” unless they’re, like, a member of clergy or something like that. (Maybe childcare?) Reply ↓
Not a Vorpatril* February 4, 2025 at 6:27 pm I mean, it’s just really dependent on the person reading it, which you’ll have no way to notice. I am fairly certain that I have some colleagues who would find “ass” to be mildly charming, many (like me) who wouldn’t even register the word one way or another, and some who would take great offense (and has done so with that exact same phrase, in fact) over its inclusion. And those are all teachers of about the same age teaching similar subjects! Reply ↓
Bruise Campbell* February 4, 2025 at 2:10 pm My husband is also a life-long ‘blue collar’ person and that sort of statement is a huge compliment and no one in his industry would even bat an eyelash, also I work in banking/finance and while I may not put that on MY resume it still would not result in the pearl-clutching your relative is displaying. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:30 pm That’s why I suspect there are issues between Relative and Husband that go beyond job advice. Relative could just have said that Husband should use more formal language in his resume, or something like that. He could have been tactful. Instead, he was a condescending jerk. Reply ↓
Anonym* February 4, 2025 at 2:31 pm I’m in the same industry as you, and this would register more as a “Huh.” than a real concern. I might keep it in mind in case the person also uses profanity in the interview, which would be out of step with how people speak to each other at the company, but otherwise it’s neither here nor there. It’s just not particularly informative – lots of great suggestions from Alison and the commenters on how to strengthen it with specifics so readers learn more about him as a candidate. Relative sounds like a real jerk, and full of crap. Who would call around to alert their network that a job candidate used a phrase they didn’t like on a resume once? That’s just BSing for the purpose of being mean. Imagine if someone you used to work with was like, RED ALERT A GUY SAID THE A-WORD ON A RESUME. Please don’t contact me again. Reply ↓
I should really pick a name* February 4, 2025 at 3:42 pm The relative is overreacting, but swearing in person and swearing on a resume are two different things. Reply ↓
tina turner* February 4, 2025 at 2:10 pm If you HAVE to use the quote, the place for it is in the cover letter. With an apology “for language.” Even better, only verbally in the interview where you can “erase” it by emphasizing it’s a quote. Only use it if you have examples that go w/it & illustrate its relevance. Reply ↓
Venus* February 4, 2025 at 2:27 pm I find it interesting, because I wouldn’t even consider it profanity and would find it weird if someone apologized “for language”. I would have issue if someone used that term to be critical of a person, but in the context it is used that wouldn’t be an issue for me. I would have the same reaction if someone included a quote from their boss that they were “the best performing new employee by far that we’ve ever had”, which is to provide me details to prove it. Reply ↓
But Of Course* February 4, 2025 at 3:00 pm In my workplace (f-bombs are relatively common even though it’s white collar) disclaiming “ass” as language would go the other direction and make me wonder if the person would be horrified by the language we use. FTR, this language is absolutely what you would think of when you thought of my industry, and by that standard we’re actually more mild than most of our peer workplaces. Reply ↓
Anonym* February 4, 2025 at 2:36 pm I can see it fitting into an interview either as is, or with a slight modification: “My manager actually said, in a slightly more colorful way, that I was kicking butt and taking names.” Reply ↓
iglwif* February 4, 2025 at 4:39 pm I agree it should go in the cover letter (and only if it can be worked in seamlessly), not on the resume, but in my world “kicking ass” is not language you have to apologize for — it’s language that might seem too casual but is in no way shocking or offensive. Reply ↓
Goldenrod* February 4, 2025 at 4:58 pm Yeah, I was thinking I would likely mention it in the interview – if I could sort of “read the room” and got the sense that it would land well. Personally, I wouldn’t put it in writing. Reply ↓
stacers* February 4, 2025 at 2:12 pm First off, I’d put ‘ass’ on the lowest tier of what qualifies as profanity, right there with ‘pissed off’ and … ‘mad as hell.’ Secondly, I work in a white-collar professional setting in which, amongst ourselves, you’ll hear the F-word in casual conversation every day, including in meetings, and you’ll hear colleagues use it on the phone with actual billionaires and real CEOs of America’s largest companies. Though I agree that my first reaction to the LW was to think that it could be worked into a cover letter far more easily than an actual resume, but for the husband’s type of job, cover letters may not be common. Reply ↓
Folklorist* February 4, 2025 at 2:13 pm Huh. I just had a second-round interview for a job where I wrote that I was a “total badass” in the first line of my cover letter (and then backed it up with actual evidence). I would say that this was the reaction of an overly stodgy industry representative, and a clue that, if husband likes working where people can be more genuine, he might not jibe. It seems like one of those things where you’d be helping to self-select for a culture you would thrive in vs. one that would punish you for being yourself. Reply ↓
Paint N Drip* February 4, 2025 at 3:50 pm Agreed that it is a functional self-select that MAKES SENSE. There will be some blue-collar bosses who think ‘hell yeah, I want someone like that on my team’ and dollar to donuts, husband will have a better experience working with that boss. Especially as some blue-collar work is shifting more corporate (giant companies versus a solopreneur/ expert-led team) I frankly think blue-collar workers will want to be screening for culture more and more Reply ↓
ndawn90* February 4, 2025 at 4:44 pm LW here I actually really like this take! My husband was really struggling at his previous job (the family business), and one of the reasons why I pushed him to take this commercial job is because I overheard some of his interview (I had to crawl around like a snake on the floor to grab something I forgot in our bedroom while he was doing a Zoom interview, LOL!), and his boss came across as a really warm, chill, caring guy who really wanted to support his “boys”. He heavily emphasized work/life balance which, after my husband being essentially on call 24/7/365 for 7 years and once worked 7 weeks straight – 7 days in a row for 7 weeks – (which his parents/former employers deny ever happened), hearing that was music to my ears! He has really flourished at this company, it’s been a night and day difference in his mental health, so I think the “self selecting” piece is huge. Besides which, he has never struggled finding a job. This was the first time in his entire career he actually applied to jobs. He sent applications on a Wednesday, had interviews Thursday and Friday, had two excellent offers on Monday, spent Tuesday negotiating with both, and accepted this job on Wednesday. In the past, he’s been poached, and I’ve even had people offer him a job *THROUGH ME* without even meeting him, and all I said was what he does and how long he’s done it. So, he can afford to be a little picky. Reply ↓
Endless TBR Pile* February 4, 2025 at 2:17 pm Ok, so I work at one of these blue collar industries with a focus on commercial customers – plumbers, if that matters. If a candidate came in with something like this on his resume, not only would we call him for an interview, he’d be asked about it directly. I’m sure in a more conservative field this wouldn’t fly. But if he’s staying in the industry (or one adjacent to it) this feels completely appropriate and “on brand”. Your relative is out of touch with industries not their own. Which is fine, but their reaction was way over the top. Tell your husband to include it, quote it, and be prepared to talk about it. Reply ↓
Not Blue Collar, but Adjacent* February 4, 2025 at 2:29 pm I, too, work adjacent to construction, and if I saw that on a resume/cover letter of a craft worker, foreman, or superintendent, I too would want to interview them! In our industry it means someone who can be trusted with the work. Reply ↓
Consonance* February 4, 2025 at 3:58 pm And maybe I’m an outlier here, but if I received a *well written* cover letter that included this direct quotation, I’d be delighted. (For context, I work in academia.) I don’t register “ass” as profanity, just a bit crass, but in the right context I think it communicates very effectively. If I received a *poorly written* cover letter with this included, though, I’d discard the application and consider the crassness consistent with other lack of professionalism/judgment. I think the key is whether it shows good judgment given their writing style, intended audience, etc. It makes it a risky move, but not an inherently pearl-clutching offense. Reply ↓
ndawn90* February 4, 2025 at 4:47 pm LW here You could say his industry is the sister industry to plumbing, in fact he does a lot of plumbing work. So, this feels like an accurate industry perspective to me! Thank you! Reply ↓
Jackie Daytona, Regular Human Bartender* February 4, 2025 at 2:18 pm and in fact, they would consider reaching out to their industry contacts and telling others to avoid that person as well because it was so wildly inappropriate. Lolwut. The relative’s industry contacts would think the relative is a loon. What a weird thing to spend one’s personal capital on. Reply ↓
Ellis Bell* February 4, 2025 at 2:28 pm I think if the OP’s relative is going to be making calls to people in the trades, I kind of want to be a fly on the wall to see the reception of him saying OP’s husband is a dangerous pottymouth. Actually that’s a great basis for a reality TV show. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:40 pm That was so over the top! Not only would Relative round-file Husband’s resume, he’d *actually try to get Husband blackballed*? WTF? Even if it was a conservative, buttoned-down industry, I think the “industry contacts” would, rightly, think that Relative had some kind of personal vendetta against Husband, and not take Relative seriously. They might even think “what, Fergus is telling everyone not to hire John because John put a colloquial, and, at worst, mildly vulgar, phrase on his resume? Why does Fergus hate John so much? What is wrong with Fergus?” Blackballing, or attempted blackballing, is for someone who has committed some seriously criminal or unethical behavior, or is impossible to work with. Not for someone whose language is less than squeaky clean and Helen Lovejoy-approved. Reply ↓
Exit Persued by a Bear* February 4, 2025 at 2:43 pm Resentful Oreos, you said exactly what I was trying to put into words, while I was typing my answer! Also, great name! Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 2:41 pm The relative’s industry contacts would think the relative is a loon. What a weird thing to spend one’s personal capital on. Exactly this. It’s one thing to see the quote as inappropriate. And even to toss the resume. To even *consider* reaching out to industry contacts? That’s just insane. Reply ↓
Exit Persued by a Bear* February 4, 2025 at 2:42 pm Yeah, this is an absurd thing to do. If someone reached out to me and warned me not to hire someone over this I’d assume the person doing the warning had some kind of vendetta against the other person. The bar for where that’s appropriate behaviour is So Much higher than this, in any industry. Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 2:52 pm I have a pretty solid imagination and I’m almost entirely stuck trying to imagine what could be on a resume that would cause me to reach out to industry contacts to advise against hiring someone. That list of possibilities is pretty darn short. I have too many other important things to do (and when I say important I mean important things like reading AAM, eating lunch, checking the thermostat, etc…let alone actual important things) to pick up the phone and advise colleagues against hiring someone because there was a minor curse word on a resume. Reply ↓
Coverage Associate* February 4, 2025 at 3:11 pm This. The only time I could see someone providing a negative reference out of the blue is if that someone was the former manager and the former employee had done something unethical that could damage the reputation of the industry. This is something that the legal profession at least gives lip service to, that we’re officers of the court and not just hired guns, etc. But like even if someone had been fired for using profanity in front of a client, it doesn’t strike me as something where a former manager would make phone calls of their own initiative (sua sponte so to speak). Reply ↓
Bee* February 4, 2025 at 4:24 pm It would literally have to be (as I experienced very early in my career) “this person called us and made threats of violence after we rejected them, do not make contact.” Everyone in my industry was indeed passing that name around! But importantly, that’s information they couldn’t get from his initial email – everyone else is perfectly capable of seeing the word “ass” on a resume and drawing their own conclusions. Reply ↓
Two-Faced Big-Haired Food Critic* February 4, 2025 at 2:58 pm Maybe Relative is thinking in terms of sexual harassment policies? Like he made the leap from using the word “ass” in a non-sexual context, to projecting that Husband would have no compunction about telling a female coworker she *has* a great ass? Which is a ridiculous leap, but people sometimes overcompensate. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 3:59 pm That would be like thinking: “John says he keeps abreast of current industry trends. Oh Em Gee, he’s going to make an inappropriate remark to his woman coworker!” Does Relative perhaps think that all blue collar men are vulgar and inappropriate around women? “John’s a blue collar guy, no way can I trust him to be polite and professional in a diverse environment! His kind are racist and sexist and all kinds of bigots!” That, or Relative is a real weirdo with terrible judgment. Or both. Because the leap from using “ass” in a colloquial sense to telling a coworker she has a great one is…quite something. And only explicable to a normal person if Relative thinks that all blue-collar men are louts. Reply ↓
iglwif* February 4, 2025 at 4:44 pm Right?! Absolutely bananapants. I work in a very white-collar context, and if I got a cover letter with the phrase “kicking ass and taking names” in it I would go, “hmm, I would like more details on how, specifically,” but in a cover letter otherwise populated with relevant and specific information it would not raise even one eyebrow. Whereas if I got a message from a business contact clutching their pearls about the use of this phrase in some other person’s cover letter, I would immediately be in my team’s group chat going “OMG you will not believe this unhinged message I just got!!!” Reply ↓
Caramel & Cheddar* February 4, 2025 at 2:19 pm I wouldn’t put this in for the reasons mentioned in the answer, but also it skews too closely to weird start-up culture stuff for me? Like I’d expect to see this on a resume from someone who had a job title like “Time Ninja” instead of “Payroll Administrator.” I’d keep reading the resume if the rest was fine, but this would certainly make me roll my eyes a bit. Reply ↓
Paint N Drip* February 4, 2025 at 3:53 pm Okay that’s a fair point actually. I think if it can be framed as quick-learner it could be a successful addition to the resume, but there is a risk of coming off.. just dorky I guess Reply ↓
Certaintroublemaker* February 4, 2025 at 2:20 pm AAM has had numerous examples of blue collar and construction job questions that demonstrate that that field has extremely different norms around language. I doubt “kicking ass” would even register as profanity to a hiring manager. Reply ↓
Rebeck* February 4, 2025 at 2:32 pm I’m a white collar professional and “ass” doesn’t even register as profanity to me. I do live in Australia, though… Reply ↓
Good Enough For Government Work* February 4, 2025 at 4:59 pm UK and same. ‘Ass’ is slang, but profanity it ain’t. Reply ↓
GammaGirl1908* February 4, 2025 at 2:22 pm Agree. It’s less that the word “ass” is so shocking, and more that the quote doesn’t belong on the resume at all. This is a story you tell in an interview, not a thing you put on a resume. The relative is indeed wildly overreacting to the word … but does this hint that the resume may have other issues of professionalism? Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:54 pm Even if the resume has issues of professionalism, the relative could have been tactful about pointing it out. If he had just said “There are different norms in the llama grooming industry versus the guanaco herding industry and your resume should reflect that. Here are some examples” then that would have been fine. “You might want to get your resume looked at by a llama-grooming professional” also would have been fine. But yelling and screaming and carrying on and threatening to blackball the husband? Not fine. Relative was pretty nasty to Husband, and that was definitely not called for at all. You can critique and give feedback without being abusive. Reply ↓
Yorick* February 4, 2025 at 4:13 pm I didn’t see anything at all in the letter about yelling and screaming. And the relative didn’t actually threaten to blackball the husband, he said he’d do that to a prospective employee if he received a resume like that. Reply ↓
Mike* February 4, 2025 at 2:22 pm The mild profanity is beside the point. The fact that he would put it on a resmué is cringe AF. Were I a hiring manager, I would assume he’s trying to fill space due to a lack of actual merit. Reply ↓
Colette* February 4, 2025 at 2:31 pm That would be a weird thing to assume. Most people write resumes very infrequently, and there’s lots of neutral-to-poor resume advice out there, There’s no need to assume any intentional deception is going on. Reply ↓
NotAnotherManager!* February 4, 2025 at 2:30 pm Including verbatim feedback from performance reviews seems a little odd to me as a resume bullet, but that could just be a difference in industries. In my field that would be more of a “selected for expedited advanced training on [complex system] based on outstanding performance at 90-day evaluation” sort of thing. I generally wouldn’t be impressed by profanity on a resume, but in this context, it’s hardly the scandal the relative is making it out to be. Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 2:43 pm This is pretty much what I think. Which just makes their reaction kind of eyebrow raising. Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 2:33 pm Regardless, though, your relative’s reaction is absurd. They’d reach out to industry contacts to tell them never to hire him? That’s ridiculous, and that tells you that this is someone with no sense of proportion and with bad judgment This from Alison’s response is the key. This is someone with absolutely no sense of proportion. They also sound like someone I would never want to work for. The idea that someone would respond with such a level of vindictiveness over a “unprofessional” resume is just mind boggling. It’s also incredibly arrogant. Because it assumes that no one else looking at a resume is capable of drawing their own conclusions. I mean even if the resume were objectively *offensive* I would not feel a need to reach out to industry contacts. Because I have no reason to believe that others would be unable to figure out that this person is bad news if they do that on their resume. Anyone who would ignore a racist slur, for example, is not going to listen to me. But anyone who would care enough to listen to me doesn’t need me to reach to them to keep them from missing what’s on the resume. When talking about something like “level of professionalism”, what makes Relative think that *they* are the arbiter and only one who can correctly gauge the proper level of professionalism? Reply ↓
Chris* February 4, 2025 at 2:34 pm If there was a blanket ban on including profanity in a resume, nobody who ever worked for “The Rent is Too Damn High Party” would ever be able to get another job. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rent_Is_Too_Damn_High_Party Reply ↓
Katie Impact* February 4, 2025 at 6:50 pm There’s a toilet paper company in my country called Who Gives a Crap. I also know quite a few people in creative fields who’d have profanity plainly visible in their portfolio because of high-profile projects they’ve worked on. The norms on this kind of thing vary so much across companies and industries. Reply ↓
Jiffy #6* February 4, 2025 at 2:34 pm So timely. I recently received my first performance review at my new job (been here slightly under a year) and it was very good. Some of my personal attributes were highlighted as deeply appreciated — the nature of my job means there are urgent or problematic situations that require a cool head. For years, I’ve been told I project a certain level of calm that comforts people facing such situations… but never considered putting it on my resume. Maybe I should?! Reply ↓
Anonym* February 4, 2025 at 2:41 pm I think so! More so in a cover letter than the resume, but if you’re not doing a cover letter I could see it tucked into the resume. If it’s paired with the usual measurable, impact focused resume bullets, it could be helpful context for understanding why you’re so good at the job. Reply ↓
CzechMate* February 4, 2025 at 2:35 pm Honestly, seems more like the kind of thing you *might* put in a cover letter (not a resume) if it seems like the right audience–something more like, “I am able to pick up new tasks very quickly. In my last performance review, my boss said that not only was I excelling in the new role, I was ‘Kicking ass and taking names.'” But yeah, this actually wouldn’t be egregious even in some office-type jobs. My husband used to work for a digital marketing agency whose (short-lived) tagline was “Do dope shit,” so “kicking ass and taking names” would have gone over VERY well during the hiring process there. Reply ↓
Lacey* February 4, 2025 at 2:35 pm It’s interesting to see the diverse reactions here, because I think at any of the fairly conservative companies I’ve worked at – they would have loved this. Possibly not in a resume, but in a cover letter. Yeah, it would have tickled them. Reply ↓
Resentful Oreos* February 4, 2025 at 2:46 pm What was striking to me was the relative’s absolutely over-the-top excoriation of the husband, and how he was SOOOO out of line that Relative would have attempted to blackball him! This really isn’t about using one little phrase in a resume, this seems to be more about what a jerk the relative is and how he might feel about the LW’s husband. Reply ↓
christy* February 4, 2025 at 2:37 pm I wonder if this is an issue of knowing your industry? My husband is also a blue collar worker and if he was looking to hire and a candidate had that quote on their resume, he would get called for an interview immediately Reply ↓
Apex Mountain* February 4, 2025 at 2:39 pm My supervisor once wrote on my performance review: “Like Rowdy Roddy Piper, Apex Mountain comes to work to do two things, Kick Ass and Chew bubblegum. Looks like we’re all out of bubble gum” Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 2:46 pm Me, sitting here smiling and applauding your supervisor. Reply ↓
Phony Genius* February 4, 2025 at 2:41 pm The only circumstance I can think of to use it is if you worked on a project that had a profanity in it’s name, which would probably only apply to the entertainment and publishing industries. Reply ↓
PicklePants* February 4, 2025 at 2:42 pm Not me praying that Barack Obama reads this advice & writes “incredible at getting shit done” for the next person asking for a reference from him. Reply ↓
anon here today* February 4, 2025 at 2:44 pm Honestly, I think the bigger issue is that being a supervisor being pleased with an employee at the 90 day mark doesn’t tell me much? Just seems like too short a time-frame to really be implying the thing OP/Husband think it’s implying–I would have questions about whether it’s “You’re doing great at this job” or more like “You’re doing great at this job considering how long you’ve been here.” While it’s always nice to exceed expectations (if indeed that is what he is doing), I think those expectations are usually (and reasonably) lower for people who have just started a new job, especially one in a new industry/area. Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 3:04 pm Given the rest of what went with the feedback – more money, more responsibility, etc. – I think this is more than just exceeding the lower expectations that might be in place for someone just starting out. But you’re right in that I don’t know that I’d look at feedback from my 90 day review as anything but confirmation that I’m off to a good start, or that I need to refocus my attention on some other stuff. Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 2:45 pm This is not profanity in my book. But that book is filled with a multitude of f-bombs, so I may not be the best judge of what toes and what crosses the line. Having said that, I wouldn’t be inclined to round-file a resume that had the word ass on it. It might actually make me smile. But I would be left wondering what that actually means. I’ve heard “kicking ass and taking names” used in so many different contexts that it makes it difficult to really understand the meaning. I’ve heard it in work settings to be sure, but there’s generally context around it. “Hey salesperson, you had a great quarter and your sales are 176% of your goal. You’re kicking ass and taking names.” Or, “Hey, HonorBox, your medical treatment is moving along faster than we expected and you’re tolerating the treatment really well. You’re kicking ass and taking names.” There’s something more than just that one phrase in both contexts. LW, I’d suggest your husband not include the phrase on his resume. Not because of the word ass, but rather because he should put something measurable and tangible there instead. Let the numbers do the talking. And if it comes up naturally in conversation during an interview, he can quote his boss. If his boss wants to say it as part of a reference call, email, letter, let it rip. Reply ↓
MsM* February 4, 2025 at 2:58 pm Yeah, I think it’d mean a lot more coming directly from the boss than reported secondhand. Reply ↓
HonorBox* February 4, 2025 at 3:01 pm If it was during a phone call or email exchange with the boss, especially, because it would allow for some follow-up questions. Reply ↓
r..* February 4, 2025 at 2:53 pm I usually manage white collar professional service employees, but I also have exposure to a lot of blue collar work. It is incredibly tame by those standards in general. There’s also some subsets of professional services culture where it would be or would have been … tame at least in content. I still have business cards from a job in the 2000s where my professional job title was ‘BOFH’, which everyone in the industry knew stood for Bastard Operator (‘operator’ being an old word for systems administrator or datacenter specialist) from Hell. To be perfectly honest I am not sure people outside of the US would even consider this to be profanity. Bad mannered, maybe; profanity, no. Would I think it to be appropriate for a white collar professional application? No. I honestly would not. But certainly not to the extend to LW’s relative did, and most crucially, LW’s relative is a hiring manager; as such they should be culturally aware enough that this may be down to different industry norms, and able to gently explain that while this may sound like a ringing endorsal in some industries, in others this type of language might or would be frowned upon. That they didn’t really speaks much worse words about them than what putting that type of language on a resume speaks about you; that they would go as far to also blackball them among other people definitely makes them into the … donkey on the dinner table. Reply ↓
L* February 4, 2025 at 2:59 pm I wouldn’t call all my industry contacts about it, but personally I would also really question the judgment of someone who put this on a resume. Putting a quote from your manager in general is a little atypical, but this seems inappropriate to me. I’m in a more conservative white collar industry though so I can’t speak to how it’d go over elsewhere. Reply ↓
Off Plumb* February 4, 2025 at 3:05 pm Irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, but I’m amused at the idea of calling around telling people not to hire someone on the basis of something on their resume. Like… that’s not privileged information. If these industry contracts are considering hiring someone, they already have the resume and have seen it for themselves. It’s just such a ridiculous, over-the-top reaction that isn’t grounded in reality at all. Reply ↓
Observer* February 4, 2025 at 3:56 pm Yes, just not grounded in reality. I also noticed the absurdity of “warning” people about something that’s in plain view. So, I am totally not surprised that some people would consider this unprofessional or bad judgement on a resume. It makes a lot of sense for a number of reasons. But the Relative is just on another planet. Which is why I would not take advice from them. Reply ↓
Saturday* February 4, 2025 at 3:11 pm There’s a certain kind of jerk who, when asked to share their expertise about something, sees it as an opportunity to be an arrogant ass. The relative is one of those people. And he doesn’t know the husband’s industry. As other people have commented, this would work well in a lot of blue collar workplaces, so relative is off-base. Sure, share your cautions and concerns, but acting like no one would ever hire a person with a resume like this and would try to make sure no one else did either… relative’s “expertise” should be ignored. Reply ↓
Hiring Mgr* February 4, 2025 at 3:11 pm I have some good friends who are blue collar workers – I’ll run this by them tonight at our bowling league and see what they think Reply ↓
office hobbit* February 4, 2025 at 3:11 pm I would combine Alison’s language and the quote. Give the specifics that led to the manager’s enthusiasm, but include the quote as well. I think it’s charming and conveys management’s enthusiasm much more strongly than a paraphrased version like earning kudos. For context, I’m white collar but in a casual region. The phrase “kicking ass” would not register as real profanity to me. Reply ↓
Dawn* February 4, 2025 at 3:16 pm For what it’s worth, I do include a non-specific quote from my former grandboss on my resume – to wit, “Dawn, simply put, is amazing,” but I do so in the midst and context of explaining why he said that. And even at that I know that it’s the kind of thing that some readers are going to love and others, not so much. Reply ↓
Hroethvitnir* February 4, 2025 at 3:16 pm This is pretty funny, in that Alison’s (balanced, as usual) answer addresses differences is industry norms – yet there are a bunch of recommendations on here that really don’t seem like they have taken that into consideration at all. I really think some of the more formal language suggested here would not behoove a construction industry worker. Not because they can’t understand it! It’s just more likely to be culturally out of step than the word “ass”. I definitely cannot speak for the LW’s husband’s specific situation, but in my second-hand experience of similar industries I actually think including quotes like that would go down very well, non-specificity notwithstanding. Including hard data too is great! But the corporate language alone is off-putting to a lot of people. Reply ↓
Spooz* February 4, 2025 at 3:30 pm Profanity is so cultural. (NB: I’m English, brought up upper middle class in the south.) I often use “would I be OK with hearing my young children say this?” as an absolute “is this AT ALL rude?” I would not be OK hearing them talk about “kicking ass”. But I would also not be OK hearing them say “butt”. We didn’t say that when I was growing up, and hearing Bart Simpson say “kiss my ass” or “kiss my butt” was kind of shocking. But I am given to understand that all the “bloody hell” in Harry Potter was shocking in other countries. It’s a normal thing to say here. No, I wouldn’t like my young kids to say it, but my GRANDMOTHER used to mutter “bloody hell” when she thought we couldn’t hear ;) So that’s the line one rung up: can I imagine my grandmother saying it? I’m very conservative in this regard. I avoid profanity of all kinds except around certain close friends and relatives, and even then I try not to if there are other works that will do. (Sometimes there aren’t! Sometimes a whole string of f bombs used in every possible grammatical slot in the sentence is the only thing to adequately describe the situation.) But that’s just where I’m choosing to position myself relative to my culture. I think you can choose to position yourself differently. And it’s always a relative position, never an absolute one. Old Disney movies never have any “language”. Modern kids films are full of “OMG” everything, which I hate. But culture evolves. Blasphemy has no meaning to most people any more. I realise that. Profanity is always cultural. Reply ↓
JustaTech* February 4, 2025 at 5:34 pm Back when I took Spanish in high school, at the end of the year my teacher decided that if we did something well (I don’t remember what) our prize would be a class of “bad words”. He ranked the “bad words” by “OK around your grandmother”, “OK around your parents”, “OK around teachers”, “Very Serious Swear Word”. Which is a useful way to rank swear words, but does make assumptions about everyone’s grandmothers. (Now I would add in a note about “gendered swear word” to the ranking.”) When I went to summer camp in Texas as a tween my first counselor gave very specific rules about swearing, and her strongest prohibition was any kind of blasphemy – which included saying “jeez”, which that day I learned was a minced oath (technical term) for Jesus. I was a totally goody two shoes who only barely had any swear words at all, but “jeez” was part of my lexicon and not saying it around the counselor took real effort! Reply ↓
Helewise* February 4, 2025 at 3:31 pm Norms around swearing in the workplace have changed in the past twenty years, but it’s still not appropriate in most professional communications. With that said, in the trades it’s different and this is a “know your audience” thing. It would give me pause if there were swearing in a resume applying for the role that interfaces directly with the trades – because the language expectations in office communications are different from those in the field, and I’d be concerned that they wouldn’t be able to appropriately judge what’s acceptable where. No one has time to call around and tell everyone not to hire somebody they don’t like, though; that’s nuts. Reply ↓
The Other Evil HR Lady* February 4, 2025 at 4:10 pm I’ve gotten a few resumes like that because I hire a lot of blue collar workers. I do think it’s a tiny bit unprofessional, but not “blacklisting level” unprofessional! Taking everything else into consideration – experience doing the work, length of stays at jobs that are the same/similar to what I’m hiring for – the phrase would be humorous to me, more than “pearl-clutchy.” At the very least it shows me that the applicant wrote their own resume. Barring weird things on the resume (like mix-and-matching the dates on jobs rather than have them flow in some kind of order, or writing that the reason they left was because management sucked – true story), I would consider the applicant is worthy of an interview. All that to say, your relative is not the best judge of what makes a blue collar applicant hireable, so I wouldn’t pay too much mind. This HR lady says so ;-) Reply ↓
ndawn90* February 4, 2025 at 4:12 pm OP here!! It’s actually kind of funny that my question was published today, because my husband actually had his annual review today, and it was – once again – glowing! They are giving him another significant raise, and have been sending him on trainings for very complicated systems that will really expand his skills base! (Incidentally, he said another employee quit today, likely in response to a poor review, so make of that what you will.) I didn’t want to get too far into the weeds in the original post, but my husband did include more detailed information from his review on his resume, and he continues to update it with the new systems he’s learning. The phrase in question was used to basically conclude the more specific feedback he had received. (I also never told him to put that exact phrase in his resume, I just told him to update it with details from his review.) I think a big thing to point out is that, prior to this job, my husband actually never had a resume. Every job he ever had, he either originally got as a teenager because of his dad and worked there for several years, or he worked for family, or he was directly poached. This was the first time in his entire career that he actually applied for jobs, so this is his first ever resume. Which is why I helped him with it. As for our relative, it’s one of those things where I’m not entirely sure where either of us stand in this person’s mind. They are one of those people who are very standoffish and come across as cold and judgemental, but I can’t decide if they are actually like that, or of they are just introverted, shy, and/or neurodivergent (I say this because my husband and I are both introverted, shy, and neurodivergent, and we’ve both been known to come across the same way, not because we actually think we’re better than other people, but because we don’t do well in large groups and silence feels safer.) I also will say that they are, how do I phrase this, experiencing a temporary medical condition that may cause fluctuations in mood, and has a somewhat definitive end date, and I’ll leave it at that. So, this overreaction may have been related to that to some extent. The crazy thing is that this relative’s spouse works in the same industry as mine (in fact, almost everyone in my husband’s family does, in fact his previous job was working at the family business with this person’s spouse), so I would not have thought that they looked down on the industry, considering it pays their bills as much as it pays mine. I guess we shall just have to see what happens, but I appreciate the post and the comments! It’s helpful for me to get perspective, because honestly, my first response was to “defend my man” because this incident really upset him. I’m glad that my instinct that this was a bit over the top was correct, and that helps me better help my partner. Reply ↓
ABW* February 4, 2025 at 6:00 pm I enjoyed reading your followup. In general, I’m not sure about putting “glowing reviews” on a resume because they’re not that specific. Some bosses just have a gushy way of talking, so if a hiring manager is reviewing resumes, seeing “My boss thinks I’m awesome!” doesn’t tell them much–unless it’s tangible feedback, like “I was employee of the month six months in a row.” But then, I don’t know, for certain fields it could be a kind of branding. People hiring blue-collar workers aren’t looking for analytical information on a resume, so if “kicking ass and taking names” makes someone chuckle, it might be a plus. Like if your neighborhood pizza joint advertises “Damn good pizza” you know it’s not fine dining, but it might be a damn good choice for your movie night. Reply ↓
Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow* February 4, 2025 at 6:20 pm Understandable that your bloke was upset, because his relative’s comment sounded spiteful and was a massive overreaction, likely intended to hurt or put your husband firmly back in his place. Could the relative resent your husband’s new success? Maybe he is used to feeling superior to him career-wise and doesn’t like the changed status. imo, whether to mention the quote in a cover letter or interview likely depends on the field and the culture of the particular employer he is applying to. If unsure, I’d tend to omit it, but at worst it could damage one job application; it would be extraordinary if an HM mentioned it to anyone outside their own org – just don’t apply to work for your nutty relative! Reply ↓
Pom Mom* February 4, 2025 at 4:21 pm Conservativish baby boomer in an area where skilled trades people can be hard to get. Send his ass my way! Hire him in a second. Reply ↓
H.Regalis* February 4, 2025 at 4:22 pm OP, does your relative have a social media channel where they film their OTT reactions to things? Because I would watch that. Reply ↓
Anon, anon* February 4, 2025 at 4:22 pm Okay, so I actually did get a compliment from Barack Obama. Should it go on my resume? And if so, under what? (I’m totally serious here, but I do know he probably compliments a lot of people.) Reply ↓
Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow* February 4, 2025 at 6:24 pm If it was a compliment directed specifically to you, or your small team for your work, I suggest you include it – but not if applying to a known conservative employer. Also not if it was a more general comment about your whole org or a large group. Reply ↓
Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow* February 4, 2025 at 6:28 pm I think it belongs as one of your achievements in that role, i.e. so good you received this compliment, rather than in its own section. Maybe bold this bit to catch the eye. Reply ↓
earlthesachem* February 4, 2025 at 4:25 pm When I still included my time at Home Depot on my resume (it is not relevant to my current career) I listed as one of my duties ‘performing magic’. Not the Penn and Teller/David Blaine/sleight of hand kind of magic, but the magic required to keep all the special order merchandise organized and findable. Reply ↓