is my boss crossing lines, coworker injecting medication at their desk, and more

by Alison Green on February 26, 2025

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss is great in some ways but is he crossing lines?

I’m trying to figure out if my manager is interested in me as more than a coworker, or if the lines he crosses are just a part of his personality. I’ve been with my company as a general manager for eight months, hired into a lower position and immediately promoted by this man. He is always kind and funny with me. He calls me awesome, amazing, sunshine, tells me how funny I am, tells me I’m tough, and that he wants to make my life easier. And these are just the things he regularly says. He is never sexual, and mentions his wife casually in group conversation we are both involved in. He is very stern with other people, but still outgoing and friendly. He isn’t stern with me. He makes sure I’m set up for success in every situation he can.

Now to the parts that are a bit on the fence, so to speak. He often asks me to come and see things on his laptop at a hightop table; I’m 5’2” and he is about 6’4″ and he keeps the laptop in front of him, even if asking me to type something for him, which leads to very close contact. While we speak, he keeps non-broken full eye contact the entire time. He often stands so closely behind me that when he breathes deeply, I feel his chest as he inhales. Other people claim he is “different” with me.

He is an extremely extroverted person, who in my opinion is usually more openly friendly with others than with me. But he makes sure we speak every day, even if one or both of us is off. Flip side, he visits other locations more often than mine. He brags on others more openly than he does me. But something has gotten strange. Does this seem like normal extroverted behavior? Could I just seem like a child to him, paternal affection type stuff?

I just don’t know if maybe I’m misreading and it’s just that I have the best boss ever, not a potential issue.

You have alarm bells going off for a reason; don’t talk yourself out of it.

I don’t know exactly what’s up with your boss, but standing so close that you can feel his chest when he breathes is not normal behavior, and is in fact very creepy. The laptop thing could be simple lack of consideration or it could be pervy, I don’t know — but in combination with standing practically against you, it alarms me. In both these situations, you should feel free to create more physical separation between you. When he’s standing behind you practically touching you, move away! You can do that without announcing it, or it would also be fine to say, “Oh, let me move so we’re not so crowded.” With the laptop, you can say, “I can’t easily reach it from where I am, let me move it closer to me if I need to type” and then move it somewhere where you can access it without leaning into his lap (or whatever is going on in this configuration that he’s arranged).

I suppose it’s possible that you have an otherwise good boss who is remarkably oblivious about physical space issues, but I doubt it. Is he breathing all over male colleagues? If he does it to everyone, regardless of gender, perhaps he simply has no sense of physical boundaries. Otherwise, he knows what he’s doing, which moves him solidly out of “good boss” territory (and, frankly, into “not a good person” territory, too).

2. Coworker injecting medication at their desk

I work in a small office with about 15 people. One of my colleagues has diabetes and has to regularly monitor their blood sugars, which is of course of absolute importance. However, this colleague regularly pulls up their shirt to inject themselves in the stomach while sitting at their desk, and has once or twice done this in front of clients. I completely understand that this is a medical issue that they have to act on urgently, but part of me wonders whether it’s appropriate to ask them to do this in a private space. I’m not weirded out by injections, but some people can be, and I don’t necessarily want to see so much of my colleague’s skin on a regular basis. I have a feeling that this is a me problem and I should just ignore it, but any advice on how to appropriately support my colleague would be gratefully received. (To note, this is an early professional job for my colleague, who is still learning business norms, and helping them learn these is part of my role.)

I’d leave it alone. You’re right that people can be squeamish about needles but there’s no way for you as a colleague to know how urgent the situation might be and they need insulin to live. So it makes sense to err on the side of assuming that if they’re doing it at their desk, it’s because it needs to happen right then (and they might feel a public bathroom isn’t a particularly sanitary place to inject something into their body).

To be clear, if your coworker were the one writing to me, I’d tell them that if they’re able to avoid doing it in front of clients, that’s preferable (with the caveat that it might not always be optional). But as a colleague, I’d stay out of it.

3. Reference for an employee who didn’t perform well

I’m in a situation where I may have to respond to reference checks about a mediocre employee.

My direct report was with us for about nine months. In that time, I quickly discovered some of her basic skills were not as good as her resume or her small test had revealed. I invested a solid chunk of time in training her, and I saw a trajectory of improvement that was slower than I’d have liked, but still reasonable.

However, she recently made a few egregious mistakes. I gave her very serious feedback in the moment and also discussed the situation with my manager and HR. We decided a formal PIP was needed to more formally codify what she needed to fix and improve, and how soon. We all agreed that she had the potential to get there, and this was not a performative PIP where you go through the motions because you want to fire a person. We had not finished drafting this plan and communicating it to her when, for entirely unrelated reasons, many people on our team, including her, were laid off. I was not involved in the decision-making, but it made sense to me given the circumstances of our organization.

She has mentioned that in her job search, she’ll be asking me to be a reference. I don’t feel like I can recommend her without reservations. She has potential, but it was a lot more work to bring her along and train her than I expected or think should have been necessary. If I receive a reference call, how do I respond? Despite my feedback in the moment, I’m not sure she’s fully aware of the pattern of errors she was making, because I was expecting to emphasize that during our PIP discussion that never happened.

Do I talk with her about this? Refuse to be a reference? Act as a reference but be up-front about her strengths and weaknesses? She’s a good person, and I don’t want to be careless and damage her chance at a new job. But I don’t want to give a great recommendation that makes people doubt my judgment, either.

Talk to her and let her know so she can decide whether she wants to offer you as a reference or not. I’d frame it this way: “I want to be transparent that the reference I’d give would be mixed because of what happened with X and Y. The layoffs cut off our discussion about those issues, but otherwise we would have needed to move a formal improvement plan because those concerns were such serious ones. In a reference I’d be able to share that I saw A and B as strengths, but would need to be honest that I wasn’t seeing what I needed in C and D. I want to be up-front with you about that so you can decide whether it makes sense to share my name as a reference or not.”

On my first read of your letter, I was going to add that it’s really important to be giving feedback all along so that the person isn’t blindsided by something like this if it comes up later. But in this case, the way things unfolded made it more understandable that you didn’t: you thought she was coming along, just more slowly than you’d expected, and then when things became more dire you were preparing to address it, but then the layoffs cut you off just as you were about to. It’s not ideal but it sounds like that’s largely a consequence of the layoff timing, not a mistake on your end.

4. Are the federal layoffs causing layoffs at private companies?

I was discussing the federal layoffs with a coworker and she said her in-laws who work at (a) a big private financial services company and (b) the Bezos space company have all seen layoffs recently. Is this in reaction to the federal layoffs? I had thought my and my husband’s jobs in the private sector were safe for now, but now I’m worried.

I can’t speak to the layoffs at those specific companies, but in general, yes, there will be layoffs at private companies as a response to the federal government cuts. Loads of private companies have contracts with the government and so will be affected by the cuts there. And then it’s likely to trickle down further; heavy job losses in any large sector will start affecting other businesses because people will begin restricting their spending (either out of necessity because their households have less or no income or out of caution at what’s happening around them and uncertainty about what’s to come). It’s all intertwined, so what’s happening federally is likely to affect a lot of people in the private sector as well.

5. Alternative to Facebook for discussion groups

I am hoping you can put this out to the readers of AAM for some solutions. I work in payroll for the movies and run a couple of Facebook groups for people doing payroll for both film and television. Not to get too political, I would like to move my group off of Facebook, but I have no idea what other options are out there. I’m Gen-X so comfortable with computers but not so much with social media that isn’t mainstream.

Could someone direct me to a site where a group can have discussions, share files/documents, and limit access to members only? Basically, FB without the political ramifications.

I’m happy to throw it out to suggestions from readers, but take a look at Discord.

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{ 61 comments }

{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    A reminder: We’ve had a recent increase in trolling here, and you can help me by NOT RESPONDING to it. If you engage, you are ensuring that troll will reappear. Instead, please flag the comment for me (just reply with a link, which will send your comment to moderation so I’ll see it).

    A change to previous requests: please don’t reply “reported.” Enough people report these comments that you can trust it will be dealt with. Do not engage at all. Thank you.

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  2. Daria grace*

    #2, i agree with Alison to leave this one alone. I don’t know what specific type of medication your coworker is using but if it’s delivered in the pen style many diabetics use it doesn’t look enough like a needle that it’s likely to creep most people out. The showing more skin that necessary is maybe not ideal in an office environment but is something I’d hope everyone else could be mature about since it’s for a good reason.

    I don’t like doing my injections in the bathroom as I’m forced to either hold all my supplies while injecting or to put stuff down on a surface that may be damp or dirty.

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    1. Alz*

      Yeah, I wouldn’t suggest bathroom- but is there anywhere else they could do it? do you have a nursing room or a break out room they could use? They might not love doing it at their desk either but don’t want the bathroom and don’t feel they have an option. If you do bring it up I would only do so as an information thing and only once “hey, don’t want to intrude and I want to be clear that it isn’t a problem what you are doing, but would you like a more private space to inject? If you would like we can give you a draw in the [whatever] room where you can close the door and store your equipment, again, not an issue with what you are doing, just want to make sure you are comfortable”

      But, if you don’t think you can pull that off as supportive and non-intrusive then I would leave it alone.

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    2. Martin Blackwood*

      Yeah, I give myself IM injections/ am generally really good w medical stuff—but assuming its a pen type injector, those needles are SO SMALL I think youd really have to watch to regester that its a needle. I remember my diabetic friend giving herself an injection across a restaurant table from me—it was over so quick I dont think I actually saw the needle. Not ideal in front of Clients, sure—if OP is in a position to keep the conversation going, I think thatd be a good way to keep the focus off coworker, but not necessarily necessary to talk to them about it.

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  3. IT Relationship Manager*

    Oh no, I’ve taken insulin at my desk. I don’t have an office but I do turn away from the one coworker who can see me. It’s much easier to do than than go across the building to take it in a bathroom.

    I do use the bathroom at restaurants because I don’t want to do that at a table (there’s a lot of things you shouldn’t do there!). But at work I can do it discreetly and without bothering my coworker.

    I’m a little desensitized to needles and medical things from my life so maybe I’m not a good gauge for how others might feel, but it wouldn’t bother me if I saw skin of a coworker of they needed medicine.

    I agree with Alison that if this person was writing in, I’d say don’t do it in front of so many people and especially people that aren’t part of a closer circle to you like clients.

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    1. MassMatt*

      If I might ask—how time-sensitive is it to get insulin, is going to a rest room or unused conference room potentially too long?

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      1. Daria grace*

        It’s unusual that it would be a can’t wait a few minutes kind of issue. However bathrooms can be suboptimal places to inject due to no-where clean and dry to put down your supplies and in some office finding a spare conference room can take a while

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        1. Storm in a teacup*

          If the office has a wellbeing room or space maybe that’s an option. If they’re still learning office norms then it may help them to know it’s ok if they need to step away for a few minutes even if with a client.

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      2. Goreygal*

        also.. it’s something that takes a few seconds to actually do. managing diabetes can already be quite a cumulative burden…why ask people to add 5-10 mins of logistics to each injection.

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    3. Nodramalama*

      I personally think it’s fine. But anecdotally, one of my diabetic colleagues injected during a meeting, and one of the other people in the meeting was extremely afraid of needles and fainted, and was very embarrassed by it.

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  4. BadMitten*

    LW 5, I agree with the discord suggestion and also will throw in Bluesky (where you can also follow @askamanager). Also Signal, depending on how your group talks.

    I know so many small businesses that only have a Facebook site, it’s a shame that meta has gone downhill. Even ignoring the terrible politics, its feed is awful, and over half the ads seem like scams. It’s just very unfortunate.

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    1. Katie Impact*

      It sounds like Bluesky doesn’t have the features to suit OP5’s needs right now: it doesn’t currently support making discussion groups, has pretty limited file-sharing capabilities, and all posts are public by design.

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    3. Lizzo*

      +1 for Signal, though Discord may be a better interface for larger group chit-chat. Signal wins as far as privacy, though. One of my groups that focuses on a sensitive topic left WhatsApp for Signal so that we can be completely disconnected from Zuck.

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      1. Katie Impact*

        One option for the OP if they want a group chat with a Discord-like interface but better privacy and security would be to self-host a Mattermost instance, although that might be deeper into the weeds than they want to go in terms of technical know-how.

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    4. Librarian beyond the Shelves We Know*

      There’s a Discord alternative called Revolt that is free and open source, if you’re looking for something similar without the big tech issues.

      If you use Signal, you can have multiple channels with different topics and different deletion rules, but it’s not as aggregated as Revolt or Discord. You can make folders via the app to put specific chats in, though.

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    5. Name Anxiety*

      If you’re not worried about Privacy privacy, just wanting a members-only discussion list, you might check out Google groups. It works basically like an email distribution list, but if members have a Google account they can also access the home page where you could link to shared documents.

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    6. Kleiner Leiter (MinorTeamLead)*

      LW5 might be interested in sites, which are not run by big companys, owned by some rich guy, who may turn proto-fascist any time. So I recommend the fediverse aka mastodon. Having a brief look into the instance list I found mastodon.art where movie proffesionals might feel welcome.
      (check joinmastodon.org for more info)

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    7. English Rose*

      This may seem a bit old school, but look at LinkedIn groups as well. They can be set to private and easy to moderate, with the ability to share documents and other media.

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    9. MJ*

      Some other options:

      Google Groups – can be set to private, works like email, files can be shared, free. Not the slickest interface in the world but very reliable.

      Slack – free plan should probably do the job. Pretty user-friendly. Allows file sharing. Messages disappear after 90 days on the free plan so you’ll need a paid plan if you want to maintain an archive.

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  5. Raida*

    1. My boss is great in some ways but is he crossing lines?

    The standing-too-close-thing is the easiest way to clearly make space:
    step back. Accentuate leaning back your head to look at him (thanks height difference!) and make is clear you are more comfortable at a distance, one step away is completely normal.
    If he’s doing it while you are seated, you have to say “Hey, back up a bit there [boss]” and if need be then use the word “looming” to indicate You Are Too Close Matey!

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    1. Ginger Cat Lady*

      His response to this pushback will be telling. If he apologizes and stops doing it, that’s reassuring. If it keeps happening because he keeps “forgetting”, tries to claim it’s necessary, or tells you that you’re overreacting, that’s a huge red flag. HUGE.

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      1. Mockingbird*

        That part. You could just remind him of his female family member and it’s causing him to give you extra attention, but it doesn’t matter why he’s doing it if it makes you uncomfortable. Give yourself more space, and if he’s creepy about it, start stepping on his toes, hard, when he’s that close.

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      2. Joron Twiner*

        Yes, if you still want to assume goodwill on your boss’s part: someone who hasn’t noticed that their crush is becoming obvious, or that they have been accidentally making someone uncomfortable, they will be embarrassed when they realize this. They will back off and not get close to you anymore. This is a mortifying social experience for normal people.

        Someone who continues to do this is not doing so by accident. It means they don’t respect physical or professional boundaries, and they are not safe to be around.

        So you don’t need to be “objectively right” or know what’s in your boss’s heart. It is enough that you feel uncomfortable, and if that is not respected, it is enough for you to raise the issue with HR or someone higher.

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        1. Jopestus*

          AND if he is of the type that is respectful to people in general but not to ones who catches their eye, he is of the most dangerous kind of people. That is the kind that seems to get away with anything with impunity since nobody believes the victim.

          -> Clear boundaries and if he follows them, all is good. If not, RUN FOR THE HILLS!

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        2. BattleCat*

          I wouldn’t be assuming goodwill personally. I can’t believe that anyone could “accidentally” stand so close behind someone that they’re basically touching, unless they’re in a mosh pit or on a really crowded commuter train. I’d try it out yourself OP (on someone willing to be experimented on!) so you can see how deliberate and boundary-crossing someone need to be to get into that position.

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          1. Mark Knopfler’s Headband*

            I could see a person on the spectrum making that mistake (I have similar problems with the volume of my voice). If it persists after an explicit reminder, that’s a bit different.

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  6. Nicole*

    as a diabetic I want to echo Alison’s advice. Unless they’ve lived a very different life than I have, they have heard multiple comments about the needles and other necessities of being diabetic. (including strangers at the grocery store, gym, etc.) personally even knowing it’s coming from a good place I would feel immediately defensive in a similar situation – the options are limited and all bad typically (wait until I’m actively sick to take medication? don’t eat at all during the day?) I think if there’s other ways this worker isn’t following workplace norms it could be brought up in that context, but even then I’d hesitate.

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  7. Daria grace*

    #5 discord is great for discussions but not so great for sharing files. It caps the upload size for people without paid accounts pretty low

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  8. Kotow*

    LW2: I say this as someone who is so very afraid of needles that throughout 2021 I truly couldn’t look at the numerous closeups of people getting the Covid vaccine, let alone get it myself (it would have genuinely resulted in a panic attack, fainting, or both and medical professionals are unfortunately anything but professional when that happens in my experience). So I absolutely would not want to see this at work! But I don’t see how you can ask her to stop. In general, I’d assume that someone doing so at her desk needs to do it there–and honestly I wouldn’t trust a public restroom to be sanitary enough and absolutely understand why someone wouldn’t be comfortable there.

    FWIW, if I were a coworker and it occurred at predictable times, I would either find reasons not to look (look away, focus on something else, schedule meetings at different times, etc.) or excuse myself (I do this when my mother in law injects insulin at restaurants). All of these can be done with minimal to no commentary. If I were a client I’d look down and not make eye contact, or try to excuse myself for a few minutes. I wouldn’t say anything about being afraid of needles because it’s not taken seriously and not even necessary to do. So I’d leave it alone. There are almost always workarounds for someone who truly can’t look!

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    1. ghost_cat*

      FWIW, I have donated plasma over 200 times and I still have to look away when they are preparing to poke me. I think I’d be okay with an insulin injection as they typically involve a pen, but I get being squeamish!

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    2. Account*

      This is good perspective! And of course you’re right— the phobic person can simply pretend to check their phone for a second (injecting insulin is a way quicker process than getting a vaccine) or otherwise get through the experience, much more easily than the diabetic relocating to another area.

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  9. Raida*

    2. Coworker injecting medication at their desk

    If part of your responsibilities is teaching them office norms, then tell them “I’m fine with the injections, you may work with people at other times and places where they are not okay with it, don’t assume that because we’re cool here that it’ll always be all right. Could be baring skin, could be hygiene, could be ick, could be ‘that’s a private medical thing so do it in private’ but you’re likely to run into people in your career where it won’t be a given. If it is an issue then be *gracious* and offer understanding, not combativeness or any mind-ur-own-business mentality. You’re far more likely to successfully negotiate not having to go to the EOFT or bathrooms or an office if you come at the subject that way.”

    And separately “A rule of thumb – don’t pull up your shirt with Clients around, and don’t inject in front of them. We can as a team figure out any squeamishness or hygiene concerns within the office, but we can’t manage how a client feels.”

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    2. Cat*

      Diabetes is a disease that is covered under ADA. Just as it would not be appropriate to tell someone who uses a mobility device how to use it in the office or around clients because of “ick” or how the clients feel, don’t tell a diabetic how to manage their diabetes. Restrooms are also dirty and should not be suggested as appropriate places to take insulin.

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  10. Yellow lab*

    Re: insulin, I disagree that this person has a “right now” emergency. People confuse the need for insulin — to regulate high blood sugar, with the need for glucose — to regulate dangerously low blood sugar. It absolutely is potentially a seconds matter emergency if your blood sugar is too low. But high blood sugar, while of course critical to address, does not have the same urgency. That would take hours to develop into a medical emergency. Anyhow, this probably wouldn’t change the answer but I do take issue with the notion that this must be done right at this very moment.

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    1. Daria grace*

      If someone has a few minutes between meetings, it may not be appropriate to wait until the next meeting is over to inject.

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  11. Queer Anon*

    LW5, you could look at groups.io. The free version does have limitations on total file storage space and number of members, but it meets your three criteria. It works through email (though people can also post directly from the site), and I find it’s better for discussions with longer messages than Discord or Signal.

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    1. Pan Pan*

      “I’m Gen-X so comfortable with computers but not so much with social media that isn’t mainstream.”

      LW5, please retract your ageist comments. Plenty of people who are Gen X are perfectly comfortable with “social media that isn’t mainstream.” Plenty of people older than Gen X are comfortable with both computers and social media. Judging from the anti-social media comments on an earlier thread today, plenty of fragile Millennials and Zoomers dislike social media.

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  12. Bilateralrope*

    For LW1, is it just me, or are these also worrying signs:

    >hired into a lower position and immediately promoted by this man

    >He is very stern with other people, but still outgoing and friendly.

    It sounds like he’s treating the LW better than other employees. That is not the sign of a good boss.

    > But he makes sure we speak every day, even if one or both of us is off.

    Also not a good sign. You do not want a boss who calls you on your days off, unless it is something so urgent that it can’t wait until you’re back at work.

    But my advice is the same as others have given. Push back on how close he stands behind you. His reaction will tell you how worried you need to be. The only thing different I’d suggest is to ask other employees if he also calls them every day.

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    2. 1234*

      Oh yes! LW – trust your instincts. As women we are often told not to trust ourselves, gaslit into not listening to our gut. If this man had only good intentions, you wouldn’t have written this letter.
      And be very aware of any retaliation when you ask him to back off – little comments, reduced exposure, changing the goalposts.
      Be careful.

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      1. Mark Knopfler’s Headband*

        Without seeing how he reacts to being asked to keep his (physical) distance, it doesn’t seem to me as if it’s possible to say whether he has good intentions or not. I actually don’t think he does, based on the letter, but that’s an educated guess.

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  13. michaela*

    Re: Layoffs
    100%
    I work in a federal adjacent sector, think companies who provide services for e.g. USAID or CDC. The consequences are brutal. Layoffs and furloughs are legion.

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    1. BellStell*

      My NGO is facing layoffs due to the cuts, but also in many cities (obviously incl DC) where there is a Fed presence, I have heard a statistic that for every 1 Fed worker, 3 jobs in other sectors are linked. So, yeah. I am seeing it already is some other orgs too. The layoffs are only part of the bad stuff happening and the economic consequences are going to be bad, globally and especially in the USA.

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    2. Brain the Brian*

      Likewise. I’m extremely lucky to still have a job right now in my sector. I have so many friends who have lost their jobs at private companies because of the speed with which the federal dollars that until last month helped fund their positions are being frozen. Sigh.

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  15. Rain*

    I am continually amazed at Alison’s ability to give a well-thought-out answer to these “is this person being a creep” descriptions while also holding on to the (imo, slim) possibility that the person is really just clueless. My reaction is usually just an incoherent “AAAAAAH” followed by Whoopi Goldberg’s line from Ghost: “You in danger, girl!”

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    1. Mark Knopfler’s Headband*

      I could see someone on spectrum making that mistake, so I would say a gentle reminder is usually worth trying. Once.

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  16. Ellis Bell*

    OP1, this is so unfair to you if your instincts are right (and I believe them because most of its just accurately reading weird and inappropriate stuff). Some key phrases for this situation, that you might find helpful: “I’ll just slide the laptop over here, I don’t want to get you sick” (even better if you’re obviously not sick), “Oh I’m so claustrophobic, can you just back up a little”, “Oh, okay, can I have a little elbow room though? thanks!”, “Oh there isn’t room for me, can you slide over?” On the eye contact thing, try to tie it to the context of what’s being said, as though obviously it’s not a hidden message and you just want to understand. “Why do you look so serious, though if the reports are all fine? You’re hardly blinking, what I am not getting?” or “That’s a nice compliment but you look so serious that I’m confused! Everything is okay right?” On the irrelevant compliments and endearments, pin everything relentlessly to the work and to professionalism “It’s nice that you think I’m amazing, but I’m not sure exactly what we’re referring to?” “I always appreciate your support, but I’m getting very general feedback; sometimes I’m struggling to pinpoint exactly what I did right.” and “Ha, it’s so friendly how you call me Sunshine, but I actually prefer Xena”. If he contacts you on your day off, don’t respond until the next working day if possible”Oh I was unplugged yesterday, but thanks!” Good luck OP, and these are just suggestions because your instincts will know best.

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  17. Mouse*

    Slack could be a good solution for LW5! I don’t know what the pricing looks like, but I’m in a few communities that use it and you can share files and restrict access.

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  18. Beth**

    #4 could be one of several things.

    Some industries seem to have regular layoffs as part of their business model. They are constantly changing strategy and that means some roles/people are no longer needed.

    In some cases, there will be knock on effects from the federal cuts. Government gets a lot of services from private sector companies and they may be seeing the writing on the wall and starting to make cuts.

    Then there are the completely unrelated companies selling services to individuals, some of whom are federal workers. If your job is at risk/gone, you’re probably going to postpone that kitchen renovation, Lasik surgery or trip to Disney World. You will probably also spend less on eating out, buying clothes etc. These changes will take longer to come through, but they will lead to job losses at some point.

    Anyone who thinks you can indiscriminately cut trillions from the federal budget without affecting the private sector or economic growth has an interesting understanding of economics.

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    1. Mark Knopfler’s Headband*

      If you want to squeeze inflation out of the system, these kind of cuts are great for exactly this reason – they dampen growth. The human cost, though…

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  19. Disappointed With the Staff*

    #5 depends a lot on what “discussion” means. If you want a public forum for random chat Mastodon is good. For topic-specific or closed groups where search/archive isn’t wanted Discord works. For topic specific with archiving/search web forums are IMO better. If people post a lot of images/files a web forum you control might be better (there are hosting providers who have this as a “tick the box” level setup)

    There are old school BBS/web forms around and those are not too hard to setup up, or more likely find one that suits your usual topics and go there.

    Joining a mastodon server would be another useful social space. Each one tends to have a focus but relatively few restrict users to that focus. The archiving and search are better than discord and there’s decent facilities to maintain a cordial environment. If there’s more than a thousand of you it might be worth paying someone to host an instance for you (and even set up and do tech support for you, if that’s not already something hosting providers offer)

    One problem with BlueSky is that Jack Dorsey has form for selling social platforms to problematic people. So while it’s ok right now, don’t get too attached.

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  20. Michigander*

    I find “he makes sure we speak every day, even if one or both of us is off” to be one of the more worrying aspects (along with standing so close that you can feel him breathe, which would immediately send me jumping 2 feet away). No matter what his intentions, it shows bad boundaries. Does he message EVERYONE when he’s off/they’re off for the day? He doesn’t properly understand what a day off means and doesn’t have a good work/life balance. Does he only message you, but he has platonic intentions? He doesn’t understand that managers shouldn’t single out an employee to try to become friends with like that. Does he only message you because he has romantic intentions? Bad for obvious reasons.

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