open thread – February 21, 2025

by Alison Green on February 21, 2025

It’s the Friday open thread!

The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers.

* If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer.

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  1. TeenieBopper*

    Okay, so, some background. I was hired almost two years ago by company A. Company A shouldn’t have hired me. They thought they had projects in the pipeline that never came to fruition, most of these with company B. To their credit, they did keep me employed for 21 months (with the exception of four months where they reduced me to 40% time). Heading into 2025,they told me they didn’t have the budget for me. To the CEOs credit, he got me a job at company B, where the bottleneck on these projects was.

    This job, however, is a serious step backwards in my career. Not that the work isn’t important; it is. But it’s basically entry level on a completely different career track (I’m a data analyst by education and training with 10 years experience, this is basically a help desk position). I accepted because it’s a job and I like buying groceries and having a place to live. But the job… Kinda sucks. I was told that the job would be more aligned with my skill set and experience with multiple people saying that I really should be on the analytics team (including the person training me, my manager, and the manager of the analytics team). I don’t want my current skills to atrophy. There’s a non-zero chance I could carve out a role that benefits everyone, but I’m not hopeful.

    It’s only been three weeks, but my eye is on the door. I haven’t even listed company B on my LinkedIn. The issue is that there are opportunities within company B, or under the umbrella of the company that would be great fits for me. Given the tenure, should I be applying to these roles? Do I apply as if I’m a current employee? Should I talk to my manager about my reservations and see what changes can be made with my duties (I don’t mind doing troubleshooting and tech support, but they keep saying I’ll be part of the on call rotation and mentioning about stressful issues that keep them at work late and screw that noise). Any advice on how to navigate this?

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    1. ThatGirl*

      I think this something that COULD be approached with your manager, although a lot of companies won’t consider internal transfers until you’ve been there a set amount of time (like a year).

      I sympathize, because back in 2017 I took a job I thought had some really interesting potential for my skillset and it turned out to be a glorified customer service role; while I did some things I was proud of, the full potential never materialized. I did transfer into a role that fit my skills better in the same company, but I’d been there a couple years at that point.

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    2. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think you should find out if there are rules about newly hired staff being allowed to apply for other roles within a moth / year / whatever period. That you’ve only been there three weeks and haven’t updated your LinkedIn does not make you an external candidate, so you have different expectations to work around.

      Independent of the above, I’d talk to your boss since they’ve already said the think you should be doing higher level work. If the job as presented to you was misleading that you would be doing higher level work, I think you can leverage that in a “I understood I’d be doing Data Analyst Tasks A, B and C, but I’m doing Help Desk Tasks X, Y and Z” kind of way. But if they told you it was a help desk job and you knew that going in, I think this will be a tougher sell unless it’s clear to them as well that they got your fit dramatically wrong and there’s a position to immediately move you to.

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    3. Required*

      I would say apply as a current employee and talk to your manager that you want to apply to these positions. Lay out why you think it would be a benefit to you and the company. A good manager would either support your applications or help you move into a better role without the application. A bad manager will likely dismiss it and tell you to stick to what you’re doing now. Either way, you get good information about what to do.

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    4. learnedthehardway*

      Most companies of any size will have a policy that employees have to be in a role for X number of months before they are eligible to move within the company. I would check what that number is. There’s no point approaching your manager right now, if the policy is that you have to be in your role for 1 year, for example. In that case, you’d be better to look outside while doing your current job. If you don’t find anything, start looking internally at about 9 months in.

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    5. Parenthesis Guy*

      Talk to your manager. Your manager, and the manager of the analytics team seem to think you’re misplaced, so they won’t be upset that you do also. I do wonder, however, if they could move you then why wouldn’t they? But if you say there are opportunities, they should either let you make the switch or tell you that you can’t.

      You can also talk to your manager to see if this will get more into your wheelhouse or if there are frequent re-orgs that will get you moved to the right team. But otherwise, a frank conversaion is the way to go.

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      1. Momma Bear*

        I agree. I’d follow up with the manager of the program where you probably better belong to see if they could help facilitate a transfer. Not the same thing but years ago I had a manager who saw my skills and started passing me fill-in work to augment the lower-level work I was doing. I proved myself on those one-offs and she was able to offer me a full time role doing the other work as soon as a position became available. See if you can build connections within the new company to improve things.

        I’ve also taken roles just to keep the lights on, so no judgement there. That said, maybe take a step back and evaluate if how you feel is the shake up/how you landed there or if it’s really that bad of a gig. That “lights on” job I took was hard because it was a terrible commute, not what I was told I’d be doing, not full use of my skills (sound familiar?) but it met a need at the time. My job transfer was not about me being a bad employee, but the end of a contract. Once you get yourself settled and have a few more chats you can decide if you start looking or if you navigate these new waters to a better job ahead.

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    6. Someone Else's Boss*

      3 weeks is not a very long time, but I understand not wanting to waste more time, if it turns out to be a waste. I’d suggest talking with your manager, but keeping it light (in case you want to keep working there either way). I’d plan to say, “I’m really enjoying X and Y and the team has been great. It was previously discussed that I’d have the change to use A, B, and C skills here, but those haven’t come up yet. I’m curious to understand when and how you think those skills will come into play.” From there, you can determine if it’s reasonable to ask about applying to internal roles. There also may be an official company policy somewhere about how long you have to be employed before internal transfers are possible – see if you can track that down. In the meantime, it’s probably wise to start looking elsewhere, so you have an idea about the market in case you need to reenter it.

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    7. Venus*

      I try not to see gender in things, but if you’re a woman in a tech-type role then advocate for yourself early and hard. There is a bad habit of assuming that women are okay in a support role, so they are likely to leave you there and your skills will atrophy, and then they’ll be justified in saying that you’re best at support.

      If your manager and the analytics manager both think that you should move there then talk with your manager to see how best to make that happen, and if they aren’t moving on it within a month or two then start looking elsewhere. Don’t assume it will get better!

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      1. TeenieBopper*

        Aha, not a woman in tech. I think there might be some details about the situation that might make it seem like it, but nah, I’m not a woman.

        I am, however, scared to advocate too hard for myself for fear of them being like “welp, there’s the door!”

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        1. Venus*

          Sorry for any confusion as it wasn’t anything that you said, I’ve just seen it so often that I wanted to flag it. My advice remains the same irrelevant of gender as I think it’s really important for people with skills that can atrophy to advocate for yourself. Given that both managers agree, it’s very reasonable to keep advocating.

          If it helps, I tend to advocate by asking questions so that I don’t appear pushy. “How would I do this?” “What are timelines for ?” “What would you suggest I do to advocate for myself?”

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    8. Hiphopanonymous*

      As a counterpoint to most of these comments, as a manager I’d be pretty miffed if a new hire came to me 3 weeks in and told me they wanted to apply to other roles in the organization. I hired you for THIS role, and as long as the role was accurately presented in the job description and interview process, I’d expect a new hire to plan to be in the role for a minimum amount of time (at least a year in my industry, could be longer/shorter in others) before looking for their “next thing.” I’d have pretty grave concerns for your future at the organization if you were barely trained and already trying to move out and up.

      So I probably wouldn’t approach your manager with any of this unless you decide it is the only way you’d stay in the organization. Find out if your company has a minimum time in role policy (but don’t do this through your manager), talk to other peers in the company about what they’ve seen with internal transfers, etc. But unless the role was mis-represented, and you legitimately thought you’d be using your skillset and now aren’t, I’d be very hesitant to bring this up to your boss. If someone came to me with this, I may ask them if they wanted to set a mutually-agreed upon last day with the organization, but I wouldn’t help them move to another group barring an extraordinary set of facts. This would be as much to protect my own reputation and political capital with other groups/managers.

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      1. Venus*

        I think you missed a couple points. It wasn’t a posted job, it was described differently (i.e. “as long as the role was accurately presented in the job description and interview process” isn’t true), and two managers think that OP isn’t in the right job.

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      2. TeenieBopper*

        Yeah, so, there were some details left out for brevity. Most of the projects were being held up by a bottleneck on company B’s end. I was offered up as a resource. Company responded that I couldn’t be utilized unless I was an employee. Things were set in motion largely outside of my control and without my input to make that happen. The bottlenecks were workload issues for a specific team in company B, so higher ups decided I was going to be out on that team to help with *all* their workload issues, my complete lack of experience be damned. During the “interview” process, my manager was like “We’re not sure why you’re applying for this position” when the truth was, I kinda didn’t. After that first meeting, I expressed- multiple times- that the role wasn’t a good fit and that my experience was A, B, and C and that if problems X, Y, and Z were being encountered in this department, they’re likely being encountered in other departments and solving those problems as well as the specific bottleneck issues would be a better use of my skills.

        I guess a tl;Dr is that I wasn’t really hired for this role (my manager still doesn’t really know what to do with me) and was more put there as an agreement with two people with C in their titles.

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        1. TeenieBopper*

          Forgot to mention this: after I expressed my reservations I was told that the job description wouldn’t be changed because it’s boilerplate but that my day to day duties would be more in line with my skills and experience.

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    9. Oh January*

      The part of this situation, to me, that changes the answer from “you can’t move out of a job that fast” is that “[the CEO of Company A] got [you] the job at company B.” Depending on how blatant the “getting you the job” was (did the CEO call in a favour? send an email recommending you? basically, was the CEO more active in getting you the job than emailing you the posting?), I think you could absolutely frame it to your manager as ‘I’m so grateful that CEO made moves to keep me employed when Company A had to lay me off/restructured/whatever the language was, and also this job isn’t what I’m trained for/doesn’t make use of my skillset in X, which I believe CEO thought that it would. Do you think I could be useful to [company B] in that capacity, or is the main personnel need here at the Help Desk? I’m happy to do this work for now if that’s where I can be most useful, but ultimately I’d like to get back to doing X within [timeframe].” And frame it as asking your manager about the lay of the land. You’re making it clear that you aren’t planning on quitting if asked to stay on Helpdesk, and setting up your manager as someone whose opinions you trust.
      I might have advantage on delivery of a message like this because I’m Autistic and so I verbally tag all of my questions with stuff like “Genuine Question:” and “For Information Purposes Only:” which you may or may not be able to pull off but if you generally come off as sincere to others I believe in you!

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    10. Mark This Confidential And Leave It Laying Around*

      There’s advocating for yourself—but there’s also simple in-house networking. When you’re new, it’s totally normal to set up coffees and lunches everyone you can. You don’t have to use every interaction to look for a transfer: just become a known quantity. It will help.

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    11. Cheap ass rolling with it*

      I work remotely and am never camera-ready. I can’t be bothered.

      But — I check my email at 7 am, and am working on putting out fires and get people’s needs addressed. And my coworkers have never commented on how I looked (just come back from a workout, just woke up) because it is more important when we meet that we get shi* done (and we do).

      If I was told to be “camera ready” , then I’d take it into account in my working hours — expect 15 minutes less work from me. Because you’ve made it a work requirement that’s not necessary — I start immediately getting into work mode in the morning, but the distraction of showering, selecting clothes, putting on makeup so I can look pretty for the camera — well, I’d roll my eyes at where my manager’s priorities lie, but sure I’d do it. I’d also be slightly LESS dedicated to my work because it shows me where your priorities lie. It would show me you care less about my output and more about appearances.

      The flip side — what if there are no pre-arranged meetings that day, and an emergency comes up. Do you want to wait 30 minutes to 1 hour to have that emergency meeting while I doll myself up for your camera?

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  2. Elle*

    I’m not going to address this with my team but I want to rant. It drives me crazy when I call my staff after their usual start time and they’ve clearly just woken up. I can see them in Teams in their pjs, sleepy eyes, hair a mess, room is dark. It happens all the time. Is it too much to wake up 10 min early to splash some cold water, comb your hair and put on a different top?

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        1. WantonSeedStitch*

          It’s up to you whether it’s worth it to you or not, but I feel like it’s not unreasonable to decide that it IS worth it and you expect them to be dressed and ready for work at their start time. After all, what if someone higher up than you contacts them at that hour?

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    3. Stuart Foote*

      It baffles me you wouldn’t address this with the team! They are stealing company time and making it harder for those of us who are actually productive at home. I’d say you are neglecting your duties if you don’t put a stop to this.

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        1. Unconscious bias*

          I have days too where I skip from bed straight to my desk and only change into normal clothes at lunch time. But I would avoid be seen like that on camera and would either put in minimum effort or ask to have the camera off. Because, after all, this still shapes how boss (or other people in the organisation) perceive me and I am not going to ruin this without a need.

          Are they a lot younger? Are you the only one to communicate with them? How is the rest of the org on their days WFH – are you out of sync or them?
          I can’t really tell if you are right to be bothered or if it is OK letting this go.

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          1. ImHereForTheUpdates*

            i really like this comment. yes they are at home but they are also working and if the company is “cameras on” then they should be presentable.

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      2. ThatGirl*

        They’re not “stealing company time” if they’re ready to work and on top of their tasks (I really hate the idea of time theft).

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        2. Pool Noodle Barnacle Pen0s*

          Same. You’re stealing my time by making some rule that I need to spend 10 unpaid minutes doing something for your personal benefit (making myself pretty for you) before I do actual paid work.

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          1. A Book about Metals*

            I don’t think they’re stealing time, but LW isn’t asking for anything outrageous, just to look presentable and put together when they’re working. I don’t think anyone’s being asked to make themselves pretty, just don’t look like you woke up five seconds ago

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          1. Audra*

            Except for the showering part, all of that takes as much time as using the bathroom or making a snack, which is a normal part of the work day. This is ridiculous, sorry.

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      3. StressedButOkay*

        How’re they stealing company time? They’re answering right at the start of their start time – they just aren’t “camera” ready.

        I’m a manager and *I’m* rolling out of bed some days at 5 minutes prior to my start time. My boss and I will sometimes both be in PJs if we have to jump on a quick call right at 9 – external calls are different, as are external department calls but internal calls with my direct VP or the folks I manage, as long as you’re dressed (aka not naked) and there, ready to go, meh.

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      4. Kay*

        I can’t imagine a good employee struggling to be productive because their co-worker has bed head. It may not be the most professional look, but this is a cameras on company with wfh employees. If they are all presentable in meetings I don’t see how the cameras on is necessary.

        It certainly isn’t stealing time if they are working, and… neglecting duties if it isn’t stopped!? This take is really wild all around.

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        1. Zona the Great*

          It would likely drive me a little batty as well. But I like that you seem to have a good attitude toward the people themselves. Probably one of those two-things-are-true things where you hate it but realize it isn’t worth changing. Le sigh.

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        2. misspiggy*

          Why though? I’m interested in your perspective, as somebody that cannot be camera ready in the morning but is good at my work. What’s wrong with that?

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          1. Elle*

            I don’t know! That’s why I’m ranting. There’s nothing wrong with it but it bothers me. Maybe I’m bitter because I have to do school drop off and am awake long before them.

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            2. Dasein9 (he/him)*

              I’m sitting here with my elderly cats who have complicated feeding and medicating schedules feeling envious of people who get to sleep until right before work too.

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                1. Saturday*

                  Yes – and OP has even said repeatedly that the problem is with her (which I don’t even fully agree with). I don’t get why people are being so snippy about this.

            4. Quinalla*

              It’s good that you are exploring it and trying to sort it out and not take it out on your team.

              If there is a real need for them to be more camera ready (video calls with clients for example), I would address it, but if it just something that irks you, I think your approach here to explore that more as a you problem and not bring it up is great.

              I know there are several people I work with who do not like that folks have continued the very casual dress code that everyone jointly without talking decided to do during COVID lockdowns. Their attitude is folks are allowed to WFH at our place as much as they want, the least they could do is put on a business casual shirt for when they are on camera. My attitude is very much who cares unless they are on camera with clients that care. I think for them their is some I had to do it for years, why can’t they just do it? even if it doesn’t matter.

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            5. Kyrielle*

              If it helps, I have done school drop off with bed head. I *would* get dressed and brush my hair before a cameras-on meeting at work, but that’s my paranoia about appearances at work. It’s otherwise entirely possible for me to be up half the day before I brush my hair. (I try to brush it before school drop off – but if we are running late, I will swipe it back and make sure he gets there on time, not delay for my hair. And if it isn’t done by then, well, I’ll get to it when I do or when I have another commitment where it’d be nice.)

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            6. HM*

              Honestly, I’m on your side on this one. Room dark? Clearly having just woken up? Let’s take the appearance out of it, because someone could be in PJs at any time of day and still do a good job. But how many people in this world can jump out of bed and be at full capacity, ready to go in an instant? Most folks need to have a cup of coffee, stretch, and just mentally wake up for a bit before they’re ready to take on the day. I don’t consider someone as ready to work when they need the first 30 minutes or so to wake up.

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          2. NaoNao*

            I think it’s a total picture thing. There’s a difference between obviously alert but wearing leggings and a hoodie with unbrushed hair vs. very obviously just woke up, not dressed, groggy, etc.
            It’s one thing if the employee *very occasionally* gets a call at their start time (or whatever) and is off guard/didn’t feel well, etc. But I tend to agree with the overall idea that work is separate from your other life, and WFH already suffers this misapprehension that people work from their bed, take naps, roll around on the floor, are slobs, aren’t really working, and so on. Coming on camera with unbrushed hair, in pj’s, obviously groggy, in a dark room, is not contributing to a “I get my work done, I’m just not dressed in smart casual”.
            Plus it’s a respect thing. Unless the people in question have a reason why they can’t wake up and get *dressed* even if it’s in loungewear, sweats, whatever, showing up to work on camera in their PJ’s is disrespectful, IMHO. It says they can’t be bothered. And this doesn’t seem to be a case of computer programmers frantically coding all night and being called at 2 PM after going to bed a 6.

            I too would be a little irritated. It feels like a lack of respect.

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            1. KitKat*

              I am also someone who views getting dressed (or dressed up, depending on the occasion) as a respect thing.

              But I think that qualifies as a “you problem” as OP is thinking (since it’s internal only), doesn’t meet the bar of requiring them to do something different.

              Thinking of it this way might help if it resonates with OP. If you view it as a respect thing, you may view their not doing it as a *disrespect* thing. Which might be why it bothers you. But to them it might not be a respect/disrespect thing at all, so if you can step outside that framing it might help!

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        3. Ally McBeal*

          If you’re the team leader, I think you probably have the authority to tell your team that your company’s “cameras on” guidance doesn’t need to apply for internal team meetings or one-off calls.

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          1. RC*

            This. If it bothers you to look at and they’re otherwise coherent at work, can you just pretend it’s olden times and do a straight phone (audio) call rather than video on? That used to be something people did all the time, right?

            I also don’t prioritize camera-ready in the mornings, fwiw, so maybe I’m biased; but I won’t have my camera on for calls then.

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    5. MissGirl*

      I’m currently in my workout clothes with a messy ponytail because I went straight from gym to radiation treatment. I haven’t showered yet because I have emails to answer and send and a meeting shortly. I’d be pretty irked if you judged me by this and not my deliverables. You don’t know what their morning was. Maybe a kid was up all night puking. Maybe they were.

      If you were working with clients or they were presenting then I’d say you could be irked. If this isn’t worth speaking about to them, then it isn’t worth being upset about. It’s not fair to silently judge your employees. You might be subconsciously holding them to a standard you’ve never communicated to them.

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      1. Elle*

        I’m not judging them. They do a great job. It’s just I wish they looked a bit more awake when they know I’m calling. If they were in workout clothes that would be different (for some reason I can’t put my finger on).

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        1. StressedButOkay*

          Maybe, as a non-morning person myself, that this might be spillover from the idea that non-morning people aren’t as productive as morning people? So if you see that someone was in workout gear vs that they might be still waking up, the person who worked out was “more productive”?

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          2. Janeway, Her Coffee In Hand*

            That sounds right. If there’s some reason that the folks on your team really need to be morning people, like early meetings with overseas clients, you need to look for that in your hiring process. If it’s just a personal judgment of thinking they’re less productive because they seem sleepy in a one on one chat, that’s a you issue.

            Consider how you would feel if all your coworkers were late night party hard folks who judged you for seeming tired during evening client events and getting up early. “Aw Jessica, you’re such a party pooper, don’t leave” “Wow, Jessica isn’t committed to making sure our clients have a good time, she leaves at 10 and we all stay until midnight.” It wouldn’t feel good.

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          3. Reluctant Mezzo*

            Well, of course morning people are more productive! Not, but that’s the propaganda that the dawn patrol people have managed to infect Western Civilization with. I must admit I was always amused when I was cranking at max at 3:30 pm and my Early Person boss was wilting.

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        3. lunchtime caller*

          Is it that you feel like you’re bothering them when they’re so visually sleepy? I know I would instinctively feel intrusive in that context which might grate when you’re also thinking “I shouldn’t feel like I’m interrupting your chill time!” But that’s why my organization is cameras off unless it’s client facing or otherwise a big meeting.

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        4. Hannah Lee*

          “I’m not judging them. … It’s just I wish they looked a bit more awake when they know I’m calling. ”

          So there is a part of you that *is* judging them, as not looking awake enough to participate in scheduled meetings.

          Venting here about it is perfectly fine.

          But as far as what to do about it with your staff, if anything, I’d suggest first really thinking through your reasons for thinking this way: what it is about this behavior that’s grating on you: it comes across as a lack of respect towards you? or as being unprofessional in some way? or of not taking their job, or job responsibilities seriously enough? or you’re concerned they show up on calls with other stakeholders in a similar state, and that could reflect on the organization or you as a manager?

          Then, think through how this issue compares with your overall impression that they all do a great job. Is their appearance important for some work reason? Is it even worth mentioning if everything else is fine?

          Note, even if it isn’t an actual big deal that impacts their performance, as their manager, you’re allowed to establish some guidelines about appearance on video calls just as you would for in-person meetings … something as simple as saying you want them to be dressed vs in sleepwear, and to appear awake, alert and ready to work barring unusual circumstances. But you should have thought through your reasons, and any actual work impacts before bringing it up.

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          1. Hannah Lee*

            Ah, I missed the part about these being ad hoc calls, instead of scheduled calls.
            If so, still consider what I said, but also think about whether your first thing in the morning calls NEED to be video calls, or if they could happen a little later.

            On that last point, I used to work for a guy who purposely set his work hours to start be 45 minutes later than his staff’s/the company’s normal start time. While his justification to his manager was that he wanted to be able to stay later to support the offices to the west of ours in a different time zone, his other reason was that although the company management wanted mid-managers to be sticklers for staff showing up at 8 am, he didn’t care if we were 5, 10, 30 minutes late as long as we did solid work, and if he wasn’t there at 8 to see when we arrived, he didn’t have to document it or write us up for being late. As long as we were all there, up and running and working by the time he got in, things were fine.

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          2. Reluctant Mezzo*

            My dawn patrol boss kept asking me hard questions at 7:30 am and always seemed distressed that my brain wasn’t totally on at that time (she’d been up till 5, of course). I tried to tell her if she waited an hour till my coffee kicked in… but no. It was virtue signaling after a while.

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        5. MissGirl*

          Wait so you’re not judging them on lacking a professional appearance, which I understand and could see addressing, you’re solely judging them on not waking up at the hour you deem appropriate? So an employee can look messy if they just had a workout but can’t look messy if they slept in? You need to figure out why this is bothering you.

          In the meantime do what my grand manager told my manager to do when she got annoyed at workers talking about non-work stuff. Take a moment and ask yourself if the work getting done. If yes, let it go.

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        6. Saturday*

          Well if they just worked out, they’re fully awake, and if they just rolled out or are still in bed, they’re not necessarily. That would make sense as a distinction to me.

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    6. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think even if you don’t want to address the rest, I think you need to address the dark room thing because if you’re a cameras-on company, then part of that is actual visibility. Looking like you’re calling in from the depths of a cave seems counter-intuitive to that.

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      1. All I Want to Do is Zoom, Zoom, Zoom*

        Yes, this is a good point. Having a company background should help with the cavelike appearance and/or other background distractions. I can Zoom in front of a bookcase decked out with Pokemon figurines and plushies, featuring books with titles like “How to ADHD”, and no one cares- because no one sees any of it.

        Reply ↓
    7. TheGirlintheAfternoon*

      If you’re looking for a mental reset for yourself on this topic, maybe try thinking of this as a great perk your team offers: not requiring team members to dress up for the day when they’re working remotely. I’m intermittently camera-on during my remote days and I look notably disheveled on those days; I consider it a perk of the work.

      But venting about it here is also obviously fine :)

      Reply ↓
    8. Dinwar*

      What does their output look like?

      Not going to lie, I could be one of the people you’re complaining about. I’m currently in my pjs. My hair is a mess because I’ve just gotten out of the “Sideshow Bob” phase of growing it out (brushed it twice today), and my room is dark because yesterday I had a migraine and I like it dark. I also started before 7, got a rather complicated project out the door, and dealt with a major issue at a jobsite, so no one in my organization cares.

      Also, can you schedule the calls? There’s a big difference between a scheduled meeting vs someone who just calls you out of the blue, even if that call is routine. If I had a call with my boss on the books I’d probably get dressed earlier, despite the camera being off, because it’s respectful. In contrast, if he’s going to call me out of the blue, he’s going to get me as I am. I think most people would have the same mentality; we’re pretty much hard-wired to be that way.

      I get the frustration. It presents the appearance that your workers don’t care about the job. But it’s only one datum; what does the preponderance of evidence suggest?

      Reply ↓
      1. Wingo Staww*

        I showered at 1pm today. I don’t work on a client facing team and am often in my jammies until lunchtime unless I get a lull earlier in the day and can jump in the shower for 5 mins. I was hired for my brain and my skills, not my appearance. My team is cameras-off.

        Reply ↓
    9. EngGirl*

      I think if they’re WFH, they’re on top of their work, and this is an issue you’re seeing mostly first thing in the morning, this is mostly a you issue.

      I’m in office and I am not a morning person. There are days when I see myself in a mirror 3 hours after I start and go “Oh my god THAT is what I look like today?!” because I was simply not aware enough in the morning, even though I took half an hour to get ready. If I could do the first couple of hours of my day in my sweats with my hair in a messy bun while my brain kicks on, and then take a 15 minute break to get myself in order, I would look sooooooo much more professional lol.

      Reply ↓
    10. Beth*

      Are these scheduled meetings, or are they ad-hoc calls you’re making? Unless I have a scheduled meeting on my calendar, my first 30 mins of work are often me handling email and etc in my pajamas, coffee in hand. I polish up before my first scheduled meeting, but I don’t feel the need to be camera ready hours before I’ve planned to be on camera.

      Reply ↓
      1. Elle*

        Ad hoc calls. Scheduled meetings they are camera ready. But I think your working hours are fair game to get an unplanned call.

        Reply ↓
        1. Spider Plant Mom*

          I’m the same as Beth, a little disheveled before my first planned call of the day. I try to keep a blanket shawl close at hand to “dress up” my pjs if it comes to it.

          For me it hits similar to being dressed and ready in case someone unexpectedly shows up at my door. If I’m not expecting you, you should expect pjs lol

          Reply ↓
        2. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

          Clearly a cultural difference, because at my workplace I’d never expect an unscheduled call unless it’s a true emergency. And you say they are ready for the calls – they’re not missing them because they’re away from their desks, right? – so I think that “messy hair” and “sleepy eyes” (that’s the one that really gets me – they haven’t had coffee yet? They aren’t covering under-eye circles to your liking? What does that even mean?) are not a huge deal. They can put on an actual shirt, though, rather than showing up in PJs.

          Reply ↓
          1. Caramel & Cheddar*

            Yes, this! Also there’s a difference between adhoc and unplanned. To me, adhoc means you messaging me and saying “Hey, can we have a quick chat?” and I say “Sure, can we do it in five minutes?” Versus you cold calling me without warning and expecting that I’ll be ready to talk.

            Independent of the “early morning readiness” of it all, I’d just be annoyed if my boss was regularly cold calling me. If you’re cold calling me precisely at 9:02am just because my working hours have started, it better be the worst emergency we’ve ever encountered at work.

            Reply ↓
            1. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

              Yeah, “are you available for a quick chat” is fair game for me, and would let them put on a shirt and comb their hair. A ringing phone out of nowhere is very different.

              Reply ↓
        3. juliebulie*

          It sounds like they are making the effort when they know ahead of time. If it irks you, maybe make the ad-hoc calls “camera off”.

          Reply ↓
        4. Beth*

          Oh, it’s absolutely fair game to get an unplanned call! But I don’t think it’s fair to expect people to be camera-ready when they weren’t scheduled to be on camera. Frankly if I called my manager in her first 30 mins of work, I’d also expect to find her in a hoodie over her pajamas with a coffee in hand!

          Reply ↓
          1. Saturday*

            I get occasional unplanned calls in the morning, and I just make sure I’m not in my pajamas and don’t look like I just rolled out of bed – same as if someone stopped by my desk in the morning in the office. That really does not seem like an unfair expectation to me.

            Reply ↓
        5. Lemons*

          I really think you need to get over this…give them a heads up you’re going to call in 15 minutes so they have time to dress if this is so important to you.

          Points to consider:

          1: “Looking polished” is a greater burden for people who are societally expected to put in more effort, AKA women in hair and makeup take ten times longer to get to standard work ‘polished’ than a man who can throw on a shirt and run a comb through his hair.

          2: You’re likely getting more work out of them when they don’t take time to dress since they are spending time working not primping, AND you’re getting their immediate responses.

          3: Not being a morning person is genetic, and there is not anything anyone can do about that. If their work is good, cut them slack in the mornings. Doubly so if they’re in an earlier time zone than you!

          4: You’re being overly rigid about cameras-on, you could cut slack here for impromptu calls.

          5: You seem jealous about people who don’t have the same morning commitments you opted into. That’s not fair to put on them.

          Reply ↓
          1. Wingo Staww*

            Super good points!

            -from a woman who gets hyperfocused on her work sometimes when she is still in PJs, doesn’t have morning commitments, and whose brain might not fully wake up until 10:30am. I would not succeed on OP’s team

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    11. Saturday*

      I would be irked too. I’m a long time remote worker, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expecting people to be minimally presentable (and fully awake) at a time when they might get a work call.

      Reply ↓
      1. Annie*

        Right. I agree with this. If you’re a “cameras on” company, I would expect that you would be presentable at your starting time. That may mean putting your hair in a ponytail or wearing a baseball cap and a top that doesn’t have baby ducks on it. It’s not asking that much, I don’t think. The OP isn’t saying they have to be dressed for a business meeting, just presentable for a work meeting.
        All that said, why is there this requirement to be camera on for an ad hoc meeting. That seems excessive. If you have a planned team meeting then I can see having cameras on.

        Reply ↓
        1. Mango Tango*

          Yeah but the main complaints are “sleepy eyes” and “dark room” which are a different scale of nitpick than “shirt with ducks”

          Reply ↓
      2. Alternative Person*

        Same. I’m all for Act your Wage and examining how much certain ingrained expectations need to change, but some people seem determined to go far, far in the opposite direction.

        Reply ↓
    12. Workerbee*

      Are their brains working? Are they getting to & completing their tasks? Are they otherwise doing their jobs?

      Since you say below it’s a visual thing for you, I think you do have to put in the work on yourself to just let this one go.

      Reply ↓
    13. Conference Room*

      I think it depends on why your company is a “cameras on” org even for ad hoc calls. Was the policy made specifically because employees are expected to be presentable at all times, or as some weird way to show respect thing? Either of those would be grounds to speak about it. If the CEO is annoyed that people may be working from the beach, then I’d let it go.

      Reply ↓
      1. I Have RBF*

        Our CEO tried to impose a “cameras on” culture. We have a long time “cameras off” culture. It is not taking, most meetings are still “cameras off”. I think that it is silly to want a “cameras on” culture when the place has a “cameras off” culture.

        Reply ↓
        1. Janeway, Her Coffee In Hand*

          I don’t understand the point of cameras on culture beyond using it to micromanage and be nosy. If you can make a phone call, you can have a cameras off meeting. I’m neurodivergent and got weird, nitpicky comments about my expressions and body language from neurotypical managers in a cameras on org that had nothing to do with my actual job performance and work quality. It was incredibly stressful to have to “perform” in every meeting rather than focusing on the content.

          Reply ↓
    14. Someone Else's Boss*

      How long after their start time? Your team should be online and ready to take calls when they start, probably, but is there reasonable room to be flexible about that? Are they salaried? Do they get their jobs done? Maybe you could change your approach and not call them until at least 1 hour in? Of course, that depends on things I don’t know, but just a thought. I’m a very dedicated employee and I work a lot of hours, but I’m usually not looking bright at start time and if that was overly important to my boss, that’d be a bummer.

      Reply ↓
    15. Head Sheep Counter*

      Is being awake and a work productive environment really that high a bar? I think its fair to have folk be awake if they are available for calls. I think its reasonable to expect them to be not in a cave. I don’t think its shocking to expect not obvious PJs. There’s something dismissive about answering calls literally from bed on a normal work day.

      I get that the WFH folks are game for feral but its not some minimum expectations aren’t actually unreasonable. They are colleagues/workers etc not sleep study patients.

      Reply ↓
      2. Velociraptor Attack*

        This might partially be a routine thing for me because my morning routine includes a shower and a good 30 minutes of getting dressed and polished. I can’t imagine doing that during my workday if I’m working from home. That’s something I should be doing on my own time, not on work time.

        Reply ↓
    16. Elle*

      I love that my pet peeve has sparked discussion! I will not bring it up because as a manager I’ve learned that you pick your battles. They do a great job, don’t get paid a lot and seem to like me. I don’t want to rock the boat for something that is relatively minor.
      That being said I have high standards for interview and presentation dress.

      Reply ↓
      1. Soft clothes*

        Just wanted to say that you are allowed to have pet peeves and vent here! Everybody in these comments is trying to analyze and give advice, but you just wanted to vent – and specified you weren’t going to pick this battle.

        I am here to validate that it sounds annoying, and you’re doing a good job by not picking this battle. You don’t need to “cure” a pet peeve or find a way to be less annoyed, as long as your private annoyance isn’t affecting how you treat people (and it sounds like it’s not).

        Reply ↓
        2. Unconscious bias*

          “Everybody in these comments is trying to analyze and give advice, but you just wanted to vent – and specified you weren’t going to pick this battle.”

          That’s what came to my mind after sending my comment. Giving an opinion where no opinion was asked in the first place.
          Still an interesting little discussion :)

          Reply ↓
      2. Ann O'Nemity*

        You’re totally allowed to have pet peeves!

        And honestly, I kind of get it. The whole idea of looking “put together” for remote meetings is shifting, but it still matters when it comes to workplace culture, professionalism, and team dynamics. Sure, the days of needing a suit and tie for internal video calls are (mostly) behind us, but rolling into meetings in pajamas with bedhead? That can send the wrong message.

        At the end of the day, it’s less about strict dress codes and more about showing up in a way that keeps things professional, respectful, and engaged. A “presentable casual” vibe—comfortable but still workplace-appropriate—strikes a good balance. It keeps things flexible without letting things get too sloppy.

        Overall, though, this isn’t a hill to die on, especially when you’re happy with performance and acknowledge that pay isn’t the most competitive.

        Reply ↓
      3. Heidi*

        Maybe thinking about it a different way will help. These employees feel comfortable and safe enough with you that they don’t feel stressed and afraid about looking like their real selves in front of you.

        Reply ↓
    17. Qwerty*

      The conversation I would have with these employees is addressing the pattern that when we have unplanned calls in the morning, I’m getting the impression that I have woken them up and reiterating that the expectation is for them to be fully work ready at . Have this conversation later in the day when you know they will be dressed and awake.

      Don’t talk about details like hair being a mess, but the high level overall impression. Because if you are waking them up, that means they aren’t working at StartTime. Try to think about in-person issues where someone might give a perception that they aren’t ready for work and how you would handle it, because this is partly a perception issue that the employees are responsible for.

      Reply ↓
      1. Momma Bear*

        This. Address the work issue and not the visual issue. We don’t do cameras on most of the time here and that suits me just fine. There was one time that the CEO said something about cameras and we all thought he meant everybody. I’ve never seen so many of our Engineers in button up shirts before. CEO realized his error and we all went back to little circles after that, unless we were presenting. Anyway, +1 for addressing the work product issue and maybe just let them be circles until a scheduled meeting.

        Reply ↓
    18. Anon-E-Mouse*

      I think there’s a difference between being sleepy and looking sleepy.

      If they look like they just woke up but they’re as fully effective and alert at the start of their day as you’d expect someone who’d come into the office showered and dressed in work clothes, then you should just let it go. This behavior isn’t affecting their work, it’s just aesthetic.

      But if they are acting sleepy / groggy / not alert, then it’s a performance issue and it’s appropriate to raise it. They should be alert and ready to work at their start time.

      Reply ↓
    19. Working Lawyer Lady*

      I would not be comfortable seeing my team members in their pajamas. It is a totally acceptable request to ask that people be dressed appropriately for work, whether that work is remote or in-office.

      I don’t require makeup, hair done a certain way, etc. But adherence to a dress code is a pretty common expectation for a job…and wearing pajamas to work is a pretty clear “not acceptable.”

      Reply ↓
    20. I Have RBF*

      Yeah, that’s weird. I work 100% remote, and I get up a half hour before my start time. When I log on I’m dressed, have my coffee and am ready to work. Sure, if you call me outside my regular hours I’m likely to be not “on”, but when I log in I’m ready for work.

      Reply ↓
    21. Who Plays Backgammon?*

      My boss makes it clear that for our informal morning meetings (short team check-ins 2-3 times/week) she wants us “camera ready,” meaning combed, wearing real clothes, and awake/ready to take part. lots of clean, nice tee shirts and hoodies, which is ok. for more formal meetings she wants business casual, but she tells us in advance. she’s not asking for 3-piece suits and full makeup!

      I don’t think you’re asking too much and it might be worth a friendly mention.

      I’d be mortified if my boss called and I didn’t at least have on a decent shirt and tidy hair. I probably fix up a little more than many WFH folks, but it’s for my own morale.

      Reply ↓
    22. Anonforthis 2025-2-21*

      I took a call in the chicken coop earlier this week. Wrapped up against 20F and 40 mph wind gusts.

      Thankfully off video and my coworker somehow missed the rooster crowing and egg songs in the background…

      (This is not a normal occurrence, she did not know I had left work to take care of a family issue then took the rest of the afternoon off)

      Reply ↓
    23. Educator*

      It is certainly reasonable to pick your battles. But as someone else who works for a fully remote organization, I think it is also totally reasonable to have expectations for your employees about what remote work looks like.

      At my organization, we have a section of our handbook, which everyone is required to read and agree to when they start, that explains why we are fully remote, expected hours and when that can be flexible, dress code, when cameras need to be on, when we need to be available on Slack, how to let people know when we are away from our desks, dependent care requirements, internet speed etc.

      Especially when I was new to the organization, having those basic expectations in black and white really helped me, and I don’t know how people newer to the work world could possible be expected to intuit all these unwritten rules. Companies and managers do employees a disservice when they don’t set clear expectations for remote work, just like they would or in-office work.

      Reply ↓
      1. Irish Teacher.*

        I wouldn’t really frame it as being “allowed” to work at home, which makes it sound like it’s some special concession. Work from home has advantages and disadvantages over in-office work. There are people who have a preference for each.

        They are doing a job that is done from home.

        Reply ↓
    25. EA*

      Ummm, just want to say that it’s actually really weird to answer a video call in PJs in the dark. If I were them, I would just not turn on the camera in these circumstance (“Sorry, not quite camera-ready yet!”).

      Reply ↓
    26. CamerasOff*

      Why oh why do people still think cameras on is a good way to go. Just turn the cameras off and judge people bgg y their work not their appearance.

      Reply ↓
    27. 653-CXK*

      Where I’ve been working from home for five years, my first order of business is to get dressed as if I were to go to the physical office. I don’t feel right in pajama bottoms and not cleaning up a bit before work.

      In my honest opinion, as long as you’re productive, you could work in a purple-and-white polka dotted burlap sack and I wouldn’t bat an eye, but on the other hand if you’re dealing with clients, I would get side-eyes if I looked like that.

      Reply ↓
    28. Little Miss Sunshine*

      As someone who sometimes starts meetings at 7AM, I am usually not totally camera ready when I log on from home. That is why I leave the camera off! 9AM to me seems like plenty of time to wash your face and comb your hair before starting work. Camera fatigue is real and we should be flexible while still encouraging cams.

      Reply ↓
  3. ChemistryChick*

    I could swear there was a post discussing whether you should include a cover letter if one is not specifically requested, but I can’t seem to find it.

    Can anyone point me in the right direction?

    Reply ↓
    1. Hlao-roo*

      Maybe it was this post: “this is why you need a good cover letter” from August 5, 2021?

      From the post:

      Our online application system doesn’t require a cover letter, but applicants can add them if they want. I have a relatively small pool of applicants and quite a few of them have varied work histories that don’t obviously lead to the position that they’re applying for. … For the few folks who have cover letters, these questions are usually immediately answered. Several times, I was about to dismiss an application based on not understanding how the experience in the resume would make them a good fit, but then I read the cover letter and it suddenly made sense — into the interview pile they go!

      I’ll link to the post in a reply to this comment.

      Reply ↓
      2. XX*

        The last time I was applying to places, I was trying to get out of a specific niche in my field and explicitly said that in the CL, and also what specific workstyle change I wanted as an explanation. I addressed a year-long job gap with a short sentence about studying for and passing some very important certifications for my field, and also mentioned that I was working a temporary retail job while looking for jobs in my field. I think that, for a lot of hiring managers, a gap in your resume seems like you weren’t working at all, and is a worry about how well you could adjust back to working full time (on top of experience & skills atrophying).

        Reply ↓
      3. CoverLettersOnlyHelpIfTheyreRead*

        Just be aware that many interviewers never see your cover letter even if you include one (in my experience, almost never, but ymmv).

        Reply ↓
    2. A Simple Narwhal*

      Hlao-roo shared the AAM post, but my two cents is that it never hurts to include a cover letter (unless you are in a specific field where cover letters are Not Done) with your resume and it only benefits you. If there’s only one submission slot you can combine your cover letter and resume into one file (plenty of free and easy pdf combiners available in browser) so they’re submitted together.

      Reply ↓
      1. Jennifer @unchartedworlds*

        One small warning though: I used a PDF combiner one time, and the result looked fine to me but wouldn’t work at the other end.

        Not saying don’t do it – just that next time I’d want a recommendation for a reliable one, from someone who uses it a lot.

        Reply ↓
    3. FromCanada*

      Personally, cover letters mean a lot to me when I hire. I have had to bend as I realize not every good candidate will include one (as much as I personally believe they are required). But the cover letter needs to be good or it doesn’t help.

      If there is something in your resume that needs to be explained, I believe a CL is critical. Example, in Canada we don’t move provinces a lot for work – if you’re applying to my in person job, you need to explain why you are applying from BC for an ON position.

      Reply ↓
  4. Lunch Lady Update*

    A while ago I had posted asking about remote office workers with an 8:30-5:30 schedule and one hour lunch. I wanted to circle back and update. As I suspected, “lunch” is not a real thing that people do. It’s a national org so it would be impossible to respect everyone’s lunch hour anyway, given that it would be like a four hour window. The culture is obvious as, before I even started, my boss had booked me into training sessions that ran 11-2 every day. So far there’s been zero pushback on me just starting at 9 and working till 5-ish and not having a formal lunch, which is kind of what I figured as it’s been that way at every past office job. It was interesting that a lot of commentors really do get a lunch though! This must be regional or something. Personally I associate lunch with either union job, blue collar work, or non-exempt roles.

    Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        I just eat at my desk while continuing to work. Grab a bite between meetings or whatever. As in these trainings, I just chomped while training (it was cameras off anyway) I guess if you wanted to be a jerk, you’d dock me the five or ten minutes it takes me to heat up my soup and bring it back to my desk, but I’d take that as a sign of a pretty sick culture.

        Reply ↓
        1. Kathy (not Marian) the Librarian*

          I have a mini Lunch Crock. Plug it in and 1 hour later soup is hot! No need to leave my desk.

          Reply ↓
      2. Mad Scientist*

        I used to just not eat during the work day most days. It was super normalized in my previous jobs. I would occasionally block off time to run an urgent errand mid-day though. Now that I work somewhere where everyone takes a lunch break almost every day, it’s actually been hard to adjust. I’m trying to remind myself to take bio breaks so that my coworkers don’t think I’m a robot.

        Reply ↓
    2. Junior Dev*

      I would push back on this if it were me. I have scheduled a daily reoccurring meeting for my lunch break when I was in danger of not getting one so people couldn’t schedule me then. If you’re ok with it I guess that’s fine. But my personal experience with skipping lunch as a remote worker is it’s really bad for my health.

      Reply ↓
    3. ThatGirl*

      I “get” a lunch in that it’s normal for people at my office to take a formal hour-ish break to eat, run errands, etc. But I don’t usually TAKE one, and that’s also OK.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        Do you block it off on your calendar? Would you say “sorry, that’s my lunch” if someone tried to meet with you during that time? There are certainly slow days where I might run an errand around noon but only if I have no other obligations, and not as a standing daily thing that I feel entitled to.

        Reply ↓
        1. ThatGirl*

          I don’t block it off, but a lot of my coworkers do. I typically eat around 11, but am willing to wait till noon, and people don’t usually schedule meetings over the noon hour. On the rare occasions my day does fill up between 11-1 I do push back or ask if something can be rescheduled when possible.

          Reply ↓
          1. Lunch*

            that depends on your company/industry. It is very normal to schedule calls at noon here and it would be frowned upon to decline a meeting so you had a real lunch break. If you don’t have something scheduled and want to take a break that’s fine. If you always block your calendar you’ll get asked about or asked to move/skip your conflict so blocking it out isn’t an answer, and if you blocked the same time each day around lunchtime it would be frowned upon unless it was a real mtg not lunch.

            Reply ↓
            2. Mad Scientist*

              That was my experience in previous jobs, and now that I’m working somewhere with more work-life balance, it feels crazy in retrospect.

              Reply ↓
        2. Sneaky Squirrel*

          I block off my calendar everyday and I will absolutely tell someone that “sorry, that’s my lunch break” even if I don’t fully intend to take the hour long break. I need to eat at some point so even the few minutes to heat up food is welcome and sometimes I schedule my appointments in that hour. The only exceptions I make are if I can tell this is something so urgent it can’t wait in which case I’ll just take the break later if I want it.

          Reply ↓
        3. Tammy 2*

          I often block 30 minutes off to remind myself to have a break and in an attempt to avoid having meeting I can’t eat during scheduled straight through from 11-3, but I’m always flexible.

          When I work from home, I feel like it takes about the same amount of time to go downstairs, fix something, eat it, clean up my dishes, and go back up to my desk as it does to go downstairs, fix something, take it upstairs, work with divided attention, and take my dishes back downstairs–and when I do the former I feel more refreshed for the afternoon.

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    4. Sneaky Squirrel*

      If you’re an exempt employee, it doesn’t surprise me that what’s shown “8:30 – 5:30 with 1 hour lunch” isn’t what’s actually happening culturally – I think many exempt staff would actually choose to forego lunch/eat while they work and get out sooner and if enough staff choose that it becomes culture. But if you preferred the lunch break, you absolutely should push back with your boss and let them know that.

      Some days, I absolutely choose to take my lunch break and some days, I skip it and work through. A good manager should be flexible and advocate for employees to take their allotted time.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        Yeah, luckily I’d prefer a shorter workday, and that seems to be possible in this role. I was worried it’d be the “worst of both worlds” where my boss was up and at `em starting right at 8:30 and still expecting me to be responsive at 5:30 *and* taking my actual lunch hour was a fight – if that was the case, I would absolutely go to the mat over actually getting my hour. But it seems my boss feels the same way I do so there’s no problem.

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    5. Beth*

      I’m also surprised so many commenters really get a lunch! I schedule a “lunch” block on my calendar if I see it filling up with meetings, to make sure I have time to eat something…but even then, I typically work through it, it’s just off-camera time. If my schedule is less packed, I don’t worry about it at all.

      As an exempt worker, I’d be pretty concerned about an employer insisting I work specific hours including a specific amount of break time for lunch. From my perspective, the trade-off for not getting overtime pay is that I have control over my schedule. When my workload allows, I work shorter hours; when I need to, I work longer hours; and either way, I get to decide whether it’s worth my time to take an hour for lunch or whether I’d rather just start later/finish earlier.

      Reply ↓
    6. Llellayena*

      I’m 8-5 and I take a lunch away from my desk, but it’s not an inviolable time. If noon is the only time a meeting can happen, noon it is. There are people in the office who eat at their desk while working but I don’t know if they shorten the total day because of it (we’re all exempt and in a field known for long hours, though my company doesn’t push it like others do). I don’t think it would be frowned on if they did (I have done so occasionally when I work through lunch, but not regularly.

      Reply ↓
    7. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      I don’t understand why a national org wouldn’t be able to respect everyone’s lunch. If there is coverage issue other people cover while someone goes on lunch and then rotate. If your talking about meetings and such then unless you have back to back meetings you should be able to have a lunch at some point. Lunch is not just about eating. It’s a time to rest and recharge. Even salaried or paid lunches should allow you to disconnect from work for a bit. It benefits everyone.
      What would happen if you put a block on your calendar?

      Reply ↓
      1. WellRed*

        I didn’t get that either! Also, salaried person who takes lunch, sometimes quicker or slower. I get paid the same salary whether I do or don’t so why wouldn’t I?

        Reply ↓
        1. Lunch Lady Update*

          Well, it’s a question of either working a longer day (8:30-5:30 but an hour of that is lunch) or a shorter day (9-5 with no set lunch) for the same pay. If it’s all the same, I’d rather have the shorter day on the clock and maximize my morning/evening time. I’m not trying to argue with anyone who prefers it the other way though. Although I *would* try to argue if my org turned out to be expecting 8:30-5:30 and not *really* have a true, off the books, hour long lunch.

          Reply ↓
      2. Beth*

        I think OP means it’s a time zone thing for scheduling meetings with teams that are located across the country. Let’s say your team has someone (A) on the east coast, a couple people (B and C) in the middle, and someone (D) on the west coast. You can easily end up with:
        – D doesn’t start until 12pm ET (9am PT)
        – A is on lunch break from 12-1 ET
        – B is on lunch break from 1-2 ET (12-1 CT)
        – C is on lunch break from 2-3 ET (12-1 MT)
        – D is on lunch break from 3-4 ET (12-1 PT)
        – A wraps up by by 5 ET

        And voila, there’s only 1 hour in the day where your whole 4-person team is in office. Obviously this is a simplified example–most people work with more than 4 colleagues, most exempt roles allow some flexibility around start time/end time/lunch break time–but you can see how it can get really hard to schedule calls if a whole remote team insists on taking a scheduled lunch break.

        Reply ↓
        1. Educator*

          I’m writing this from my lunch break! I have team members in every US time zone, and we are all just a little flexible about when we take lunch. When there need to be meetings when right when the West Coast folks come online, the East Coast folks just eat a little later. Not a big deal. We just find a quiet moment, put up a status that we are getting food, and step away. Sometimes I eat at 11, and sometimes I eat at 2. Still glad to have the break.

          Reply ↓
        2. Annie*

          I’m in a different timezone than my manager, and she often schedules meetings over my lunch break. So I just shift my lunch break until after the meeting. Or sometimes I’ll just eat lunch during the meeting and then log off a little early (since she’s ET and I’m PT). I still cover my hours but I’m not going to win any argument about not working from 12-1 when it’s 3-4 her time.

          Reply ↓
    8. Radish Cake*

      I’m non-exempt and my organization also has people scattered across many time zones. Our policy is to just avoid scheduling meetings between noon-1 PM for a majority of the attendees, and not expect rapid message/email responses during that time period. It’s also common for people to take a late lunch if they’ve been in meetings all day. I share an office with several teammates so even when we’re eating at our desks we chat and are not glued to our monitors.

      Our management is pretty hands-off when it comes to work arrangements, so YMMV.

      Reply ↓
    9. Busy Middle Manager*

      There’s nothing wrong with taking breaks though! People “working through lunch” was a pet peeve of mine when I was a manager. Not because I wanted to dictate their moves, it was just a blind spot many otherwise smart people had. They’d shuffle paper around, get up ten times to go to the kitchen and then clean their desk and maybe get a paragraph read over the course of half an hour – then truly believe they worked through lunch. Would much rather they just take a breath and step away, even for 20 minutes

      Reply ↓
    10. Dasein9 (he/him)*

      Yikes! I do 7:30-5 so I can have 90 minutes of break during the day. I am 100% wfh, though, and this gives me time for errands and to get outdoors when the sun’s up in the wintertime. I block most days’ lunch breaks as “tentative” on my calendar and move those around as needed. Two days a week have standing appointments and those are on my calendar as “busy.” Nobody’s had a problem with it.

      Reply ↓
    11. Mutually supportive*

      I don’t block off lunch normally but do take at least half an hour. I need to eat, but not blocking it keeps my time most flexible.
      If a particular day is getting very full and theres a risk that I’ll end up with meetings over the whole of the period when I’m happy to have lunch (about 12-2 ish) then I’ll absolutely block out half an hour to make sure it stays free for me.

      Reply ↓
    12. TechWorker*

      My job is not blue collar, union or non-exempt (I mean I’m in the U.K. but same role in the US definitely exempt). Everyone takes lunch. Once in a blue moon I might work through if I have to leave early but it’s accepted you do not schedule meetings over lunch.

      Reply ↓
    14. Quinalla*

      We have a pretty strong culture about not booking during lunch. We have only 2 people that aren’t in the EDT time zone so that makes that easier. I do sometimes work while eating, but I don’t feel that I have to. I’m exempt, so I take breaks whenever I need them and skip breaks sometimes too to get stuff done. I usually only take about 30 minute for lunch as well because if I am reheating leftovers, 30 minutes is still a nice break :)

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        Yeah I’m in the minority in my team being ET so I get why it’s hard for everyone in PT to remember my lunch hours.

        Reply ↓
    15. fhqwhgads*

      I think maybe you’re drawing a concrete conclusion where there isn’t actually one. I’ve never seen the expectation that any given 1 hour block is “reserved” for lunch for everyone, but that’s not at all the same thing as “you don’t get an hour at all”.
      I’ve been working remotely at multiple jobs for over 10 years and everyone takes their hour lunch, whenever it works for them. You put up an away message in slack (or IM system of choice) and just walk away from your desk. Yes sometimes there will be meetings from 11-1, or 12-2 because we’re in enough time zones that it’s always lunch time somewhere, but then people still just take a break some other time.
      You may be right that where you’re working right now the one hour lunch isn’t a real thing, but please don’t take away that this is always the case with remote office workers. It’s not.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        Yeah, I don’t know, I don’t *love* the idea that your start and end times are set in stone – you must be logged into your computer at 8:30 on the dot, in your business casual clothing, having already eaten/made your coffee – and you can’t log off until at least 5:30 PM – but your lunch time is supposed to be flexible and scheduled around other people’s needs. Either the break is real and respected, or it’s not, right? I don’t know, maybe I’m really weird about this!

        Reply ↓
    16. Clisby*

      I worked for some years as a computer programmer and had a 30-90 minute lunch, which I took every day. At least for the almost 9 years I worked in-office, the guidelines were: Arrive between 7 and 9 am. Take at least 30 minutes for lunch, but up to 90 minutes. Work 8 hours a day outside of the lunch. So I could come in at 7 am, take 30 minutes for lunch, and leave at 3:30 pm. Or I could take 90 minutes for lunch and leave at 4:30 p.m. Or come in at 9 am, take a 90 minute lunch, and leave at 6:30 p.m. And so on.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        This whole thing reminded me that my second job ever had a 35 hour work week (nonprofit) and I was quite excited about it – but it turned out they took a formal hour long break midday in the break room, all together. The boss would like, read the newspaper and hold a discussion, or there was IIRC a jigsaw puzzle set up. So it was 35 hours in theory but you were still there 9ish to 5ish doing basically worklike things. (You *could* also go run errands but it was an office out in the suburbs so there weren’t that many places you could go and be reliably back in an hour. A few people took a walk but it wasn’t much of a walking area).

        Reply ↓
    17. Rebpar*

      If I’m booked through lunch, I eat at my computer and then leave 30 minutes early. Why give your organization a free 30-60 minutes?

      Reply ↓
      1. Lunch Lady Update*

        Yep. And that’s actually my preferred schedule. I value being off earlier than getting the full hour at lunch, although I know others may feel differently.

        Reply ↓
    18. allathian*

      I have very flexible work hours, as in 6 am to 11 pm, with core hours 9 am to 3 pm. We can schedule time off during that period but it has to be noted as an OOO in the calendar. The one firm requirement we have is a 30 minute unpaid break at some point during the day.

      Reply ↓
  5. my cat is prettier than me*

    I’m currently facing a dilemma. On Wednesday and Thursday, Head Boss was sick but insisted on coming in anyway. This morning, he tested positive for Covid, and HR told him not to come in. Head boss conducted 4 interviews in his closed office over the last two days. I know he wore a mask on Wednesday, but he didn’t yesterday.

    I asked HR (who is my direct boss) if we would be telling the candidates, and he said no. This doesn’t sit right with me. If I was directly exposed to Covid, I would want to know. I want to push back, but I’m currently on a PIP (a real PIP, not a “we’re going through the motions before we fire you” thing). I’ve received feedback that I’m really improving, but I still don’t want to rock the boat.

    What should I do?

    Reply ↓
    1. Stuart Foote*

      I would just sit tight. Obviously the boss shouldn’t have done this and HR should probably have let the candidates know, but I doubt you can really do anything about it and trying to would hurt you and not help anyone that much.

      Reply ↓
    2. The Big Apple*

      Aw, I’m sorry, but I just wouldn’t take this on if I were you. It’s not your problem to solve IMO – hopefully all the job candidates are fully cognizant, as everyone should be by now, that sitting unmasked in a closed room with someone who is also unmasked is always something of a risk (plus, did they take public transit to get there / what other risk factors do they have going on – you have no idea – if they have school-aged children etc).

      Reply ↓
      1. Nice cup of tea*

        You need to focus on you and your PIP. Whilst I agree with you, being right doesn’t pay your bills.

        Let this go.

        Look for a different job if you hate it there.

        Reply ↓
      2. Alice*

        Ah, so if there are other *potential* exposure pathways, it’s ok to refrain from telling them about an *actual* exposure.

        Reply ↓
    3. spcepickle*

      Were you the person who scheduled the interviews? If so I would just email the candidates and tell them they were exposed. If not I would not do anything, it sucks but it sounds like it is outside your sphere of influence. But I would use this as a data point to a) question your bosses judgement and b) question your company’s desire to protect anyone. As a candidate if I interviewed in person with anyone who was sick it would be a huge red flag for me as I would assume that means the company a) wants me to work sick and b) wants people to come in sick which increases my chance of getting sick.

      Reply ↓
    4. NothingIsLittle*

      I don’t think you have any moral obligation to act here, so you can put it from your mind.

      For someone who is directly impacted by contagions (as opposed to someone worried about sharing Covid with someone susceptible), there’s not much that can be done at this point. The exposure happened, and they’ll either get sick or they won’t.

      I’d want to know he came to work sick so that I could factor that into whether I’d want to work for a company, but I’d have noticed in the interview if he was visibly sick. If he wasn’t sick enough for me to notice, that’s just the same base-level danger I’m in in any public setting. (I’m immune suppressed.)

      Reply ↓
      1. Alice*

        “there’s not much that can be done at this point”
        The people who were interviewing — they are infected or not infected, yes. But if one of the candidates is planning to spend Saturday volunteering at the quilting bee at the local retirement home, etc, then the fact that they have a recent, high-risk exposure is pretty important info.

        Reply ↓
          1. RC*

            Yes, and they could pursue testing (which is pretty nonexistent at this point) to know when they are out of the woods (RAT accuracy is a whole other question but anyway).

            I would want to know if it were me, but also I think your best move is to not say anything (unless, maybe, you were already corresponding with them). But those of us who are still concerned, figure that this kind of stuff is happening All. The. Time. but it’s just we don’t explicitly know about it (this is why I still mask everywhere indoors).

            Reply ↓
          2. Jennifer @unchartedworlds*

            This, yeah.

            Unfortunately this kind of situation is extremely common, in part due to having been role-modelled by leaders for the last 4 to 5 years. Like “it’s only a cold, but some weak people will fall by the wayside, oh well” instead of deciding that people’s health actually matters.

            The HR person saying “we’re not gonna tell them, and we don’t want you to tell them either” is placing you in a position of moral injury, by (indirectly through your need for a wage) coercing you not to tell, when telling the people has the obvious potential (though not a guarantee) to save someone’s life.

            Reply ↓
        2. NothingIsLittle*

          That’s why I said “for someone who is directly impacted by contagions.” I am speaking for myself as someone who is immune suppressed, but not frequently in close contact with others who are at high risk. And even if I were, the actions I take to protect myself also protect everyone else. (I should have said “for someone who is high risk” but couldn’t think of that phrase at the time)

          I still don’t think OP has a moral duty to report it, regardless, because they observed the situation but weren’t involved.

          Reply ↓
    5. Beth*

      This sucks, but it’s not on you and you’re not in a position to fix it. You should file this away as info you now have about your own boss and leave it at that.

      Reply ↓
    6. Qwerty*

      There’s nothing you can do here without jeopardizing your job and this doesn’t seem to be worth that. The people in the Wednesday meetings know something was up because of the mask.

      Realistically, at this point everyone should assume they are being regularly exposed to Covid, the flu, the current cold, etc, especially in winter. Those who have extra concerns around avoiding exposure proactively ask and manage their environment.

      Reply ↓
      1. moql*

        I don’t think your second paragraph is reasonable in a job-seeking situation because of the power dynamic. I am immunosuppressed and wear a mask everywhere, but I would not for a first interview to avoid prejudice. It’s not something I would bring up until I had a written offer.

        Reply ↓
        1. I Have RBF*

          See, if I were interviewing in-person, I would wear a mask, and if they didn’t like it, it would tell me a lot (all of it bad) about the work environment. I would not want to work in an environment where wearing a mask would cause prejudice, or have peer pressure not to mask because they think it’s “just a cold”.

          Reply ↓
          1. moql*

            Eh, unfortunately I live in a place where masking is very stigmatized. I would have to move (not financially possible) if I wanted to find a company where masking would not cause prejudice.

            Reply ↓
        2. Dogwoodblossom*

          I masked during my interview, and I mask at work every single day and also every time I go out in public. Because I mask *everywhere* I would *especially* mask at an interview because if it’s a problem for them, that’s not an employer who will work for me. With the caveat that I’m in a place where there are quite a few people still regularly masking and I’ve never been hassled about it.

          Reply ↓
          1. NothingIsLittle*

            I’m in Florida and no one masks. I would be asked about it if I chose to (and am). In social situations, I don’t mind saying, “Yeah, I’m immunosuppressed so just being extra careful!” but in an interview I’d be worried that would be a mark against me. Even in a company that is generally responsible with a manager who would respect my personal risk, there might be a yahoo on the interview panel who would torpedo my chances.

            Reply ↓
            1. Educator*

              I have a medical need to wear masks too, and I have been using “I need to help an elderly relative with [insert time-sensitive task, like doing her taxes] this weekend, so I’m being extra careful.”

              Some people are still jerks about it, but the number has gone down significantly since I invented this entirely fictional grandmother–it’s harder for the jerks to fault me for being altruistic and family-oriented than self-protective. Happy to share “grandma” if anyone else wants to help her with a nonexistent project.

              Reply ↓
      2. The Gollux, Not a Mere Device*

        If I met with someone and they were wearing a mask, I’d assume they were being cautious, not that they knew they had covid. That sort of caution is why I’m wearing an N95 indoors, including on transit and at the supermarket. I’m less worried about the person who knows they have covid or the flu, than about people who have no symptoms (yet) but can spread the virus.

        Speaking of which: everyone, if you haven’t already had two doses of the MMR vaccine, please get the vaccine. Measles is also airborne, and that virus can hang around in the air for a couple of hours after someone with measles leaves the room. There’s a current outbreak in New Mexico, including two patients who aren’t sure if they were vaccinated against measles as children.

        Reply ↓
        1. Cedrus Libani*

          Even if you’re sure you got your childhood shots, MMR is one that might need a boost. Apparently one shot was the standard until 1989, so if you’re a pre-90s baby, you might not be as measles-proof as you think. (There’s also a routine blood test for measles antibodies. I’ve had this done repeatedly, due to occupational risk – I’ve always passed, but the testing is done for a reason, people do fail.)

          Reply ↓
    8. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think it’s not your job to do anything even if you weren’t on a PIP, but I think this is incredibly shitty of your boss and HR.

      That said, since such a large percentage of the population refuses to take any kind of precautions, I think the average person walking around unmasked/unvaxxed should expect that they’re coming into contact with infected people pretty much all the time. If not your boss, then they’ve been exposed at the grocery store, on the bus, at the movies, wherever. It’s a kindness to let people know when you’ve exposed them, but also at this point I’m not sure it would make much of a difference to the average person who would probably just shrug anyway.

      Reply ↓
      1. Alice*

        On the one hand, you’re right — that’s why I wear a mask in all indoor public settings and most private indoor settings.
        On the other hand — why do the company/boss want to keep this info away from the candidates, if if the average person would shrug it off?

        Reply ↓
        1. Caramel & Cheddar*

          I think “most people don’t care to stay safe” is a different calculus from “we actively made someone unsafe” and thus there are different levels of wanting to hide what happened. There’s also just a lot of inconsistent behaviour around COVID, so you might think you don’t care until you get exposed and suddenly it’s a big deal (because it is) etc.

          Reply ↓
    9. A Book about Metals*

      If you’re feeling like saying something further would be rocking the boat and you want to stay there, given you’re on a PIP i would do absolutely nothing

      Reply ↓
    10. Hyaline*

      You do nothing, except file away this information as “evidence of behavior and decisions I find unethical about these people” in case you ever are in the position to make decisions–staying/leaving, agreeing/disagreeing, pushing back/not–in future. Unless I’m misreading this, in no way is this up to you, and you probably can’t *do* anything anyway. This is not something you can effect change about, most likely, so even though IMO someone ought to send those candidates a “you may have been exposed to COVID” message, there’s no way you making a squawk is going to accomplish that.

      Reply ↓
    11. PeopleSuck*

      And this is why people like me still can’t interact with the world. Sigh. It is very much not fun to be both immunosuppressed and medically unable to wear a mask.

      Reply ↓
  6. Toxic Waste*

    I work in a toxic environment. Boss is upset with me because I didn’t complete a teapot inventory that she never told me needed to be completed. We had a meeting with my manager to go over things that we’re currently working on. Boss brought up the teapot inventory and she and my manager were making passive-aggressive remarks about other work of mine. The department is understaffed and everyone is doing the work of 2-3 people. We’re always working on something, but there isn’t enough time to complete everything. The bosses get mad if something isn’t done, but it usually means we’re working on something else instead.(Either way we’re in trouble for something.)

    I’m not perfect, but I’m a hard worker and they’ve acknowledged this so why am I their target? My manager will also bring up past (minor) mistakes and complain to my boss about me. If I make a minor mistake the boss will lose it and have a meeting where we go over what we’re working on and micromanage me. I notice the managers standing by my desk watching me work. My boss and managers have been in trouble for serious things, but it seems like they like to nitpick hourly employees and go after us about minor stuff and trash talk all of us in her office within earshot.

    Besides finding a new job and getting out as fast as I can, does anyone have any advice?

    Reply ↓
    1. NothingIsLittle*

      They’re likely picking at your work because they’re blind to their own incompetence (or in denial) and think it makes them look on-the-ball to point out mistakes. It might help to remember that this isn’t a reflection of you failing, but of them failing.

      Reply ↓
    2. Zoe's mom*

      Since you are stuck for the time being I recommend setting up some reachable goals in your head on how to get out of there. For example, “Today I will look for 3 job websites that I will use to find a new job.” When I was stuck in a bad situation it gave me a feeling of accomplishment to do SOMETHING that was getting me the hell outta there. Use the smaller goals to come up with a reachable plan of exit.

      I’m sorry you are in this situation. It sounds intolerably shitty. You CAN get out. Make it happen. Be your own advocate.

      Reply ↓
    3. MissGirl*

      Just spitballing but what if you micromanage them back. Start everyday with a list of what you’re going to work on. Checked in with them more often. I know that’s probably cumbersome but then you have the email to say, you never asked me about x and I told you I was working on y.

      Reply ↓
      1. Midwest Manager too!*

        ^ This!
        Also, if you go this route, include “Any other tasks I should know about?” That gives you something to point to when they say “why didn’t you do the inventory task?”

        Reply ↓
    4. Beth*

      My last job was awful, and my main coping strategy was working towards getting out. The job market in my industry has been really rough, which was discouraging when I felt such a strong need to get out. I handled that by focusing on in-my-own-control goals (“apply to 2 jobs/week”, “update my resume by Friday,” “reach out to old colleague tonight,” etc.), which made it easier to keep moving forward while getting a lot of rejections.

      Because of the job market, I knew I’d be stuck there a while even though I was actively working on leaving. Over the last 6 months of my tenure there, I tried a lot of ways to handle the stress and negativity. I stepped up my work even more than usual, in an attempt to get ahead of it and do something right for once; this didn’t work, there really was no doing right in that culture. I tried connecting with other teammates at my level; this helped a little (in that I realized we were all under the same stress and pressure, so I felt less alone in it and could take the criticism less personally), but realizing that my entire team was crumbling under the pressure ultimately made me feel even less secure. I ultimately checked out pretty severely, in a last-ditch effort to minimize how badly the stress was destroying my personal life. That was the most effective thing I did for my own well-being, but I don’t think I could’ve kept the job for as long as I did if I started there–I was truly doing almost no work by the end.

      I logically know that my new job is a pretty normal job in a pretty normal environment, but after that experience, it feels glorious. There is a light on the other end of the tunnel–you just have to hold on long enough to get yourself there.

      Reply ↓
    5. anotherfan*

      i can offer my sympathy, having been in that spot myself. I found there was really nothing I could do in the moment. I pretty much figured I was going to be fired, so I just decided I would do the absolute best I could at my job and let the chips fall where they may. I was out anyway, there was no reason why I couldn’t just concentrate on stuff I did well and disconnect from the micromanaging. It worked out in my case — my manager was transferred before things came to a head and I was transferred to our office that held the rest of the political “outs” and was able to rehabilitate myself — but that was never an assured thing. I felt I should go out with my head high having kept to the highest standards I had for my work.

      I will say that Living Well is the Best Revenge is one of my mottos.

      Reply ↓
    6. Beth*

      I’ve embraced a suggestion from an earlier comment thread: Bad Work Bingo. Each time something awful happens, it goes on your bingo card (real or imaginary).

      The day I read that suggestion, my bosses collectively commited a small but gross act of casual rascism, and putting that item in the center of my new (imaginary) card got me through the event. Whoever suggested it has my DEEP gratitude.

      Reply ↓
    7. Lemons*

      First, sorry you’re going through this. This is NOT ok and NOT professional behavior by your managers and NOT everywhere is like this!

      Second: Divorce yourself from the success of this company. Allow yourself to not take on that personal responsibility, because your bosses are going to find a way to complain no matter what you do, so stop going above and beyond, do your job to the letter and no more.

      Third: Exit strategy! Beyond job searching, are there any side gigs you can do to save up in case you have to leave suddenly? Sit down and really do your budget, can you cut some expenses now to save up more too? Having a good financial cushion will make you feel safer about the inevitable departure from this company. Also don’t forget to take your time off!

      Good luck!

      Reply ↓
    8. Hyaline*

      1) You are stating that they’re picking on you, but it also sounds like they’re crabbing at everyone–“we’re in trouble, we’re always working”). So–depersonalize this! Your workplace blows and your bosses are being awful. That’s in no way about you or your work, and it sounds like it’s not even focusing solely on you–which tells you it’s systemic. When they nitpick or harangue, repeat in your head, “This isn’t about me.”
      2) Start looking for a new job if you haven’t. Yes, getting out is the solution here, but even before that happens, taking active steps to get out will reorient your frame of mind about this. Knowing that your life is NOT tied to this place makes it easier to brush off their misplaced blame. Boss digs you about not doing something? Eh, whatever, boss is a jerk…instead of feeling the sting of it.
      3) As best you can, separate yourself from your workplace. I’m reading between the lines here that you like to feel you’re valued and doing a good job (who doesn’t?), and this place is not only not giving you that, it’s undermining it. Find someplace else to give some of yourself to on a regular basis–volunteering, religious services, game night meetup with friends, whatever–that reminds you that you have value as a person OUTSIDE of teapot inventories.
      4) While you’re stuck there, if you think systemic innovations like a weekly checklist, or a daily priorities log, or something like that would be helpful, bring it up! See if your bosses would try different ways for attacking workflow! But if the place is just chaos and they suck and are looking for someone to blame, don’t break your back over it.

      Reply ↓
    9. Toxic Workplace Survivor*

      For in the meantime if you can’t get out, my best advice for dealing with micromanagers is to over communicate. So much of their anxiety can be better managed (by them) if they feel like they know what is going on with you. That can look like a variety of things: an office-pop-in where you chat about the weather, a status update on a project of your choice, a question about prioritization for 2-3 tasks, a comment about something they appear to have done well that shows you are paying attention to them …

      None of that is fully about your work but I have found it often circumvents the “I wonder what Toxic Waste is doing?” question in their mind that is where the trouble starts. They feel like they have a better handle on you. The con is that you have to play strategically in a way you shouldn’t have to spend that much time thinking about. The pro is that it tends to at least mitigate things even if it isn’t a magic solve.

      For people who change their minds all the time about a given priority while insisting it was always that way (which is so toxic but definite a thing I’ve experienced), you want a frequent check in. You either have to be explicit about “it sounds like A is the most important thing; that’s no problem but I want to flag B may take a few extra days in that case” or just straight up say “which of these three things do you want to handle first?”

      When you’re working with someone who changes their mind all the time email exchanges CYA best. I find a pop-in also helps smooth those water though when possible because it feels friendlier and is less likely to create a defensive reaction where they dig their heels in.

      And as with all difficult personalities, the words “misunderstanding” and “miscommunication” are your best friends because it acknowledges there are two stories without arguing about who is right. It can still land you with the blame some of the time but because it mostly removes fault, the difficult person is less likely to get defensive or otherwise derail things. It tends to be a good way to bring the conversation back to “how shall we resolve this?”

      Good luck!

      Reply ↓
  7. Dumpster Fire is where I work*

    This is another “my manager won’t manage my slacker teammate” post…

    Background: My manager Tom started a few months ago, and he reports up to Jerry who is VP of our entire department. My slacker teammate, Andy, doesn’t follow basic directions, doesn’t do his basic tasks and can’t communicate professionally. The main issue is that for some reason Tom and Jerry don’t hold him accountable and instead give vague praise when he does another half-baked attempt at his tasks. Another piece I want to call out is that Tom and Jerry recently fired another person in our team (who had a much different role than Andy and me) for “poor performance”, when in reality that role was set up to fail. Tom framed it like “HR said it was performance related, and Jerry and I agreed”. No accountability for themselves…so they aren’t afraid to fire people, but are okay with Jacob being coddled. I’m also at a slightly higher level than Andy, but have no managerial authority over him – this is important.

    My question: I manage glass teapots and Andy manages ceramic teapots. About a year ago (before Tom), Jerry and our manager at the time assigned Andy and I those types of teapots. When Tom came on, he was told this, that I manage glass and Andy manages ceramics. However, when projects come down the pipeline, Tom will say to me “we’re launching project A, B and C, chat with Andy on how to split them up, you two work so well together.” He will not actually assign or delegate the tasks between us even though we manage different types of teapots.

    For example, he just sent out an email to us, “team – please add this into the clay teapots”. Clay teapots fall into Andy (as ceramic), so he should have reached out to Andy, but he’s again trying to pull me in because he’s trying to make me hold Andy’s hands through everything.

    How can I best protect myself when our manager won’t even delegate basic tasks to us separately and tries to make it my problem? I don’t trust Tom and Jerry either.

    Reply ↓
    1. snowglobe*

      The next time Tom tries to assign something to both you of can you reply all to the email with something like “Clay Teapots fall under Ceramics’ purview, so I’ll let Andy take point on this one. I’ll jump back in if we decide to include glass elements.” Just something to make it clear that this isn’t your responsibility but that you will pick up work in your wheelhouse?

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      2. MsM*

        Great suggestion. Unfortunately, though, OP, I think this is one of those problems you’re not going to be able to fully solve as long as Tom and Jerry are in charge, which means keeping an eye open for other opportunities.

        Reply ↓
        1. Dumpster Fire is where I work*

          Sadly I’ve been looking since October and have had no requests for interviews. Honestly with everything going on, I’m wondering if many companies are nervous to hire right now.

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          1. JustCuz*

            There are definitely holds on hiring I have noticed since last October. I would also like to throw out some speculation here that Tom and Jerry like Andy so much because Tom, Jerry, & Andy all are dishonest people who like to manipulate situations over being honest and accountable. They all share this common moral approach to work. It is just who they are. I do hope you can find something soon, because these guys have a very different outlook on life and how to treat other people than what most people like to work under. And I will say, people will tell you to document document document, but honestly if they want you to suffer, you will suffer and there will be no consequences for them. It will take a very clear, intelligent, discerning person to come in over them to make it change.

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      3. NothingIsLittle*

        Thirding this! What you’re relying on here is Tom and Jerry’s inaction. If they don’t want to manage Andy, they’re counting on social pressure to force you to do it. They also don’t want to manage you so if you just decline to participate in the farce, it’s likely to be too much work to force the issue.

        If they try to say you didn’t do what you were supposed to, the email establishes that they were aware you weren’t taking action and why.

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      4. Dumpster Fire is where I work*

        This is a really good suggestion….I don’t want to come across as “abrasive”……..or uncooperative, so I’ll have to think of ways to make it less threatening to Tom and Jerry. Jerry especially has the feelings of a delicate flower.

        Reply ↓
        1. Dumpster Fire is where I work*

          And also (I forgot to add), Tom has been told multiple times about what falls under who (and of course Jerry won’t correct him), so my original thought was that it was safer to not saying anything in case they think of me as pushing back. But this advice could help cover my booty, in case they try to pull the rug under me.

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          1. Beth*

            Definitely don’t be silent; silence will be taken as agreement with the mistake.

            You’re responding to the input by confirming “Yep, I see this and have noted that it’s on Andy’s list as a Ceramic Teapot Thing”. You can phrase it as agreeing, even though you aren’t actually doing so. Be bland and boring and consistent.

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        2. NothingIsLittle*

          In that case, try something closer to:

          Hi Tom,
          Thank you for letting me know! [I’ll head up project C, since I specialize in glass. I expect to see blah, blah, blah in whatever timeframe.]
          Since Andy is the expert on ceramics, I’ll let him take the lead on projects A and B.
          Andy, let me know [when you’re ready for x,y,z/what glass pieces you’d like to incorporate/if you need any help].
          Thanks!
          Dumpster Fire is where I work

          Reply ↓
          1. Lily Puddle*

            Yes, this is how I handle this kind of thing.

            “Jerry, Absolutely, we will get that added.

            Andy, if there are any glass components needed as you develop this project, please let me know, and I will get working on them right away.”

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  8. Back from mat*

    I can’t remember what name I used when I posted last time and it was a few months ago but I wanted to say a big thank you for advice people gave me about returning from a year’s may leave (UK).

    I’ve been back for a couple of months now and it’s going OK. workload is high but there’s possibly progress to split my job into separate roles.

    Biggest change, that I’ve found hard, is having to build my reputation at being good at my job among people who started while I was off but hopefully time will help that.

    Reply ↓
    1. WellRed*

      Hopefully they’ll check their attitudes at the door if your read on needing to build your rep is accurate. Why not just assume you’re good at your job?

      Reply ↓
      1. Back from mat*

        My read might be off and it might be that they don’t understand I can do more than my mat cover (they couldn’t find someone to do my full role).

        What they definitely do is try to do things off the system/without looping me in when they should. When I do find out they need something they always seem surprised when I say I’ll do it or fix it. I don’t have the same issue with any one who was there before I went off.

        I think time and seeing my work will fix it but it’s a bit frustrating!

        Reply ↓
        2. Ama*

          Would it be feasible to propose a orientation meeting with the new folks? You can even say since they only previously interacted with the cover person in your role you’ve realized they might not know all of the resources you normally provide. That might speed up the process.

          Reply ↓
          1. Back from mat*

            That’s a good way of phrasing it, thank you. I’ve suggested meeting but I think they thought it was more of a saying hi and kept cancelling on me.

            My manager is aware as well and is inviting me to meetings when she sees I’ve been missed.

            I’m delivering a couple of projects in March which should make my work more visible and once done will also mean I have time to chase up if people cancel.

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  9. Angelic Pigeon*

    I manage a remote team of nine. This team became remote at the beginning of the pandemic and has remained so because they are incredibly effective working from home and do work that does not require them to be in the office.
    Eight of the nine team members live less than an hour from the office and can attend twice-a-year, in-person meetings with our larger 60-person team. The ninth is a more recent addition and lives a four-hour flight away. I’d like to fly him in for our next meeting in July, as none of us have met him in person before (though we have now worked together for almost two years).
    The meeting itself usually lasts from 10AM – 4PM, and includes meals, snacks, and activities. However, I think it would make sense to have my team member stay in town for a couple of days, given the length of the flight. Beyond meeting up with him at our primary location and giving him a tour, I have no idea what else to do with him. The rest of the team will be back in their home offices after the large meeting. Do I show him the sites of our city? Pull the rest of our immediate team into some space at the office and all work in person for a day or two? The fact that I’m a woman and he’s a man is also making this feel kind of awkward. I am at a loss and am wide open to your ideas.

    Reply ↓
    1. AvonLady Barksdale*

      Four hours is not a terribly long flight. If he wants to stay for an extra day and work from the office, then ok. But I don’t think you have to entertain him.

      Definitely fly him in the day before the meeting and have him stay the night of. Chances are he’d rather go home anyway. If he wants to stay and visit the city or if he knows people there, that’s a different story. But either way, you don’t need to set up extra activities for him.

      Reply ↓
      1. ThatGirl*

        Four hours is long enough, especially between needing to get to the airport early and it taking time to get home. I would account for a travel day on either side of it! You could also ask if he’d like to stay an extra day and work from the office or meet with folks.

        Reply ↓
      2. Rusty Shackelford*

        Four hours isn’t a long flight, but considering how early you have to get to the airport and everything else associated with that flight, it can be a much longer day. For me it would be a minimum of a seven hour day because of the distance from the airport.

        Reply ↓
    2. Eleri*

      I managed a fully remote team for a while, and while we did have occasional department-wide in-person meetings, I liked to have some in-person time for just my team. It helped us connect with each other and talk about work things without the entire department there. I would probably just do one additional day of working on-site together, or at least a lunch-time meal with the whole team. I would only do “work” together if you are actually collaborating together, not just sitting on computers or web meetings in silence (let people do that at home). I think an extended lunch works well for this.

      I wouldn’t do evening meals unless your whole team wants to, just because people tend to be exhausted at the end of the day.

      Reply ↓
      1. Guacamole Bob*

        This is what I would try to do. One extra day, if you can identify meetings that would be genuinely useful or relevant, would make sense in my team’s context to make the most of the trip. Can you move meetings around to do regular team, project, or checkin meetings in person for that day? Talk about some team strategy topics? You don’t have to aim for wall-to-wall meetings, but interacting with smaller groups of colleagues in person over the course of the day with some time for informal chat could enhance those relationships.

        If the work doesn’t lend itself to this, then I wouldn’t force it.

        Reply ↓
    3. The teapots are on fire*

      I wouldn’t have him stay a couple of days just because of the length of the flight if you don’t have an idea what you want to do with him. Check with him and see if he’d like to just fly home the next day. Or have the meeting shortly before the weekend so if he wants to stay and explore the city on his own, that’s fine. But I would give him the option.

      I would be more than happy in his shoes to turn right around and fly home the next day,and sleep in my own bed.

      Reply ↓
    4. But Of Course*

      My answer depends on how tourist-appealing your city is, and who your colleague is. (For example, I personally would not want to tour a city where, as a gender non-conforming woman, I risked harassment.)

      But also, I feel like the real answer is talk to him. An overnight, or possibly two nights, makes sense because of the length of the flight, but it might be that he would rather fly in the night before and fly out after business us concluded because he sleeps better at home or has cats or has an immovable D&D game the next night or whatever. Basically, frame it as what you’re willing/able to offer in terms of accommodation, work requirements, tourism time, and see what he thinks makes most sense. “I have the budget for up to three nights’ stay and would love to show you around Quaintsberg if you’re interested – would you like to do that or do you prefer a different schedule for this trip?”

      Reply ↓
    5. Nice cup of tea*

      I’d rather go home than hang about in an office for a day for no particular reason.

      You could book him on an evening flight the night before if it is too much travel in one day.

      Reply ↓
    6. Elsewise*

      I’d let him take the lead on figuring out what to do with the days around that, but make yourself available! He might have a specific project he wants to see in person, or coworkers he wants to work with, or a tour he wants to take. Or maybe he wants to fly in, do the meeting, crash at his hotel, and fly out. Maybe he wants to stay for a few days so he can go to a concert he’s been wanting to catch, but he’s fine doing his normal work from his office in the meantime. Let him know you’re happy to give him the tour or help him schedule things, and plan to work in the office for the days he’s in town, but otherwise I think you can let him be the driver of how he spends his time in your city.

      Reply ↓
    7. spcepickle*

      Ask him, I think part of this question is really dependent on his social battery and likes! If this was me my ideal situation would be – fly in the day before get myself to my hotel room, do a little work in my hotel room, go to bed early. The day of the meeting it would be fun for me if my team met for breakfast – if your big meeting does not start till 10 can you all do an 8am meeting with catered breakfast, make it informal but still kind of focused on work. Do the meeting. Then please let me go back to my hotel, I would not want to have dinner because I will be burned out from so many people all day. I would then fly home the next day, I would try to schedule an early morning flight.

      If the flight timing worked and it could be nice to meet the full team at the office if there is room for you all the work. Maybe do a project meetings in person the day before in the afternoon or the day after in the morning. This would also depend on your team wanting to come into the office an extra day or two.

      Long story short – flying in for a single meeting is not odd and there is no reason to assume he will want to stay longer. Unless you have a business need I would not ask him to. Also with a 4 hour slight there is a strong chance of changing time zones – so be kind to throw off sleeping schedules.

      Reply ↓
    8. MSD*

      I agree with most of the comments. Fly in the day before. Fly out the day after unless they specifically want to stay longer (although be clear that additional nights/expenses would be on them not the company). I’d suggest that you take them out to dinner on the company dime. Either just the 2 of you plus any of the rest of the team who are interested.

      Reply ↓
      1. DJ*

        I agree and offer it to all staff. Make it drinks then an early dinner so those nearly an hour away aren’t just hanging around. Also the reason I suggest drinks then dinner is some may be able to stay only for the drinks.
        Also fly in coworker can still get an early night to fly back the next day!

        Reply ↓
    9. Beth*

      In his shoes, I’d be fine with taking the afternoon the day before the meeting for travel, staying in a hotel overnight, attending the meeting (and maybe a team happy hour afterwards), and then either traveling home or staying in a hotel overnight and taking the following morning to travel home. I wouldn’t want to add on a couple of days if there’s no work reason to stay. Work travel isn’t like personal travel–you don’t need to stretch your time in a destination to justify the travel time, you just want to do your work and go home.

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    10. Parenthesis Guy*

      A four hour plane trip isn’t bad at all.

      But if you feel bad sending him home right away, I think you could do a team building exercise or team planning in person. If you had to, you could find him a place to work in the office for a day. I wouldn’t do anything alone with him though.

      Reply ↓
      1. ThatGirl*

        It could be a pretty late night though. For me, for instance, four hours gets me to California. So let’s say the day ends at 4, and I go right to the airport. If the flight leaves at 6:30 to bring me home, that’s 10:30 CA time and after midnight in Chicago, and I still have to get my bags, find an Uber or taxi and get home. I’d be fried.

        Reply ↓
        1. Parenthesis Guy*

          I love Chicago!!!!!

          Agreed it’s not fun. I’ve worked places perfectly willing to make me and others take a red-eye flight home. So, leave at 8 PM and get to the airport at 6 AM. I’ve also worked at places that liked to do that but didn’t like giving travel time off. So, you get home at 8 and are expected to work that day. Fun!

          If he wants to leave in the morning, I’d try to let him. But I don’t think most companies would go for it.

          Reply ↓
      2. I Have RBF*

        For me, a four hour flight is an eight hour travel day, between getting to the airport, going through security, waiting for the flight, flying, getting my bag at the destination, trying to get transport at the destination, and then checking in to the hotel. For anyone, the absolute minimum time for it is five hours, and that’s if they live just outside the airport and the office is just outside the airport.

        So yeah, for me it would be fly in the day before, get my hotel room, plan a full day in the office/with the team, go back to my hotel, then fly out the next day after a full night’s sleep. If I don’t have the rest, I’m cranky AF and that would ruin the purpose of the trip.

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    11. Spreadsheet Queen*

      All the advice about finding out what this employee would want to do are spot on! (Except for meeting everyone for breakfast before the meeting-meetings. Oh, no no no. If he flies in the day before and there are delays that get him in town later than planned, he might need that extra hour of downtime and/or sleep. Also, I’m not a morning person, so I will never vote for breakfast before the meeting-meetings. But I’ll happily have dinner.) Of course, you also would need to take into account what your in-city people might be up for if you add an outside work-hours social activity. (I don’t think it’s out of bounds to have one outside work-hours social activity when you have an annual full-team meeting, and as an employee I would be fine with that, even welcome it, but you know your team and they may have other responsibilities that would make that difficult for them).
      And yes, if you’re in a city that is appropriate for tourism, working with your employee on scheduling in a way that they can stay the weekend if they want to do tourist things – probably on their own! – is a nice thing. I’ve gone for meetings before and tacked on some PTO for a long-weekend in the destination city. Obv meals and lodging for the “vacation” portion were on me, not the company, but staying over Saturday night will often get a cheaper flight and the company is just fine with that.

      Reply ↓
    12. Caramel & Cheddar*

      Just ask him how long he wants to stay (up to X days that the company is willing to foot a hotel bill for). If he works from home I’m guessing he has a laptop he can bring with him, and if he wants to stay longer without using any PTO then he can just work from your office those days. Or if he wants to use PTO, then let him use PTO. There’s no reason to make others stay just because he’s got a longer journey than everyone else, and you’re not really under any obligation to entertain him during the downtime.

      Others have said that four hours isn’t a long flight, and maybe it isn’t, but I know I wouldn’t want to spend four hours flying somewhere and then immediately come home.

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    13. Hillary*

      I’d bring the team together in person the day before or the day after, for at least half a day. I’d probably make it more social than work since the goal is to get to know each other as people and bond as a team. You don’t need to make it super structured, but it should be during the day so your local folks’ schedules are less disrupted. An optional dinner the night before your larger meeting or after it would also be good.

      Beyond the immediate team, who else should he spend time with? Does he work with other departments?

      I used to do a lot of site visits, one of the things I would do was just schedule half an hour one on ones to catch up with people. Maybe we’d been on a project before, or I worked with people in their role at other locations, or we thought we should get to know each other. Admittedly it was a highly crossfunctional role and knowing people was a big part of my job, but it’s valuable a lot of the time.

      also, if your company policy allows, let him travel when he prefers. it stinks to get in late at night and get up for meetings, especially in a new time zone. Travel time is legally work time for non-exempt folks, when I was exempt we usually did informal comp time (like taking a half day Friday because I was traveling Sunday night).

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    14. Qwerty*

      My vote would be to have the whole team work in person for a day or two for this trip because you have a new team member. For future ones, allow him the option of staying longer to work from HQ but do not require the others to join him. Odds are 2-4 people would probably come in for the optional day, especially if you are ok with them splitting their day between office and WFH.

      Lower your expectations for the days the whole team is working in the office. All of the usual office distractions like socializing and side conversations are part of the reason for getting them together. I usually do this right when the new person joins so I set the bar pretty low to give everyone time focus on onboarding and bonding. You don’t want them worried about deadlines or work stress.

      Reply ↓
    15. Funko Pops Day*

      I’d focus more on bringing him out a little early (i.e., scheduled to arrive by ~2 pm the day before the meeting at the latest) so that there’s a travel buffer in case a flight is delayed/cancelled. If things go smoothly and you get to use that time for a tour/in person prep for the big meeting, great.
      I would not ask him to extend the trip without a business reason, which it sounds like you don’t have. I think it’s OK to ask him to book a flight the next morning instead of that night if there’s a culture of informal socializing after the meeting, it has a tendency to run long and he can’t actually count on being in a cab headed back to the airport at 4:15, etc.
      I travel reasonably frequently for work and pre-kids, having extra time to check out the city would have been great; now, it varies between less-appealing and actively-disruptive to have extra time away.

      Reply ↓
    16. A Book about Metals*

      Having the team work in person together for a day or two is a great idea. If it’s only a couple times per year it shouldn’t be too big of a burden for the WFHers

      Reply ↓
    17. DefinitiveAnn*

      I was a remote worker for several years before an acquisition, and then a few more years after. I was one of very few remote workers both times (this was all pre-pandemic). I VERY much liked my annual trips to the office(s) to meet with members of my team as well as others in other departments! It was a good way to make connections with marketing and documentation and tech support instead of just my manager and the few team members I needed to interact with.

      Rather than offer to show him around outside of your meeting, ask if he’d like to work in office for a few days (if it’s in your budget) to get the lay of the land.

      Reply ↓
    18. Hyaline*

      I know “team building-ish” kinds of things are deeply suspect for good reason, but if there are fun things to do in the area, could you float a “required meeting day plus optional ‘team camaraderie’ day” schedule–especially if there’s any chance you can pay for outings and meals? Like–I think we default to assuming that the other teammates would resent doing a day of “required fun” but if it’s a) not required and b) covered and c) actually interesting/fun and they get along and they’d like to get to know their far-flung teammate better…maybe it’s worth a shot. I’d resent that less than “Bob is in town so…for no other reason than Bob is in town, we’re all going to work in office for a couple days.” (Unless there’s a good reason to do so–like there’s a particular project where in-person collaboration could be really valuable. Then I’d say, do that! Call it a two-day meeting with second day in breakout/project mode.)

      I wouldn’t, however, make the far-flung teammate stick around….just to stick around. If you’re positive others won’t want to join in on a baseball game/museum/architecture tour/ice cream tasting/whatever day, and working in office really has no benefit besides making you feel like his travel was worth it, just ask him his preferences for how he wants to handle things and be willing to put him up for a recoup day or two.

      Reply ↓
      1. Hyaline*

        Oh–and lots of great suggestions made here about “fly in at this time so you can X after” or “flight home at Y time after Z” but depending on where he is and where you are, you may not have the luxury of a bunch of perfectly timed direct flights. There are plenty of places that are a “x hour flight” from me–but the only direct flight is at 6 am or 7 pm, and the connections make travel more like a day-long affair! So unless we’re talking travel between two major airline hubs (and even if you are), don’t assume you can make the flights conform to an ideal schedule.

        Reply ↓
      2. Wingo Staww*

        Could even be as simple as, “I’d love to have the team go out to lunch together when Bob is here (on company time and dime).” Then it’s maybe 2 hours of chilling and eating together rather than mando fun.

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    19. Saturday*

      I would ask him what he wants to do regarding flying in and out. I definitely wouldn’t worry about trying to fill his time – the main things he’s coming for is the big in-person meeting. That’s a reasonable agenda for a work trip.

      Reply ↓
    20. EA*

      Don’t keep him if there isn’t a work-related reason to do so. If it would be beneficial to your team to do a half day or full day in the office, do it. But don’t force it if it isn’t necessary!

      If not, I’d just give him the OPTION to fly in a little early or fly out a half day later if you’re in a fun tourist place.

      Reply ↓
  10. The Big Apple*

    Zomg I feel so stupid but just wanted to put this out there – I have started a new job and my company has provided me a Mac computer. I wasn’t expecting this to be a huge transition, even though I’ve always been a PC person, because I do have an iphone / used apple music etc. WOW, was I wrong. It’s like everything is taking me 3X as long at the moment because I can’t do the stupidest stuff, like minimize a window, scroll down, or find the thing I’m trying to open. I didn’t realize how often I use hot keys that are now all different. And the backwards-delete! I have come to hate the placement of the “command” button on the keyboard. Please give me tips / good wishes/patience as I muddle through this period of adjustment …

    Reply ↓
    1. bananners*

      Just wishing you luck. I made the switch over a decade ago and it’s embarrassing how bad I am at navigating a PC now. I unexpectedly had to use one in a meeting in front of someone important a few weeks ago and looked completely computer illiterate. They don’t seem that different, but apparently they are!

      Reply ↓
    2. Lily Rowan*

      It will get better! But I don’t know that my fingers ever fully adjusted, the one job I had with Macs — I use more keyboard shortcuts than I realized. But it will get better.

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    3. learnedthehardway*

      Totally get it – it takes time to adjust. I would mention this to your manager as it’s going to be part of your ramp up to full productivity.

      Reply ↓
    4. Database Queery*

      You can also remap your keys to what you’re used to! I did this when I needed to get a running start on a Mac after never having used one, so I set up familiar keyboard shortcuts and swapped Ctrl and Cmd. Definitely worth 30-60 minutes of your time, and as a bonus, it deters anyone else from using your laptop (if that’s a thing where you work).

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      1. Mid*

        Seconding this! I have a Mac for personal use, and Windows for work, and I remap the keys to match between systems. It truly doesn’t take long, and is worth the time to save you the frustration!

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    5. NotaMac*

      I’m pc at work and Mac at home due to partner’s setup – I hate and cannot get the Mac file structure, it seems inverse to pc or something?! I think the commands will come quickly if you can get over using hot keys but I absolutely know what you are saying – ‘Mac is so intuitive’ is just not true for those used to pc and I feel like a dinosaur saying so!

      Reply ↓
      1. Rusty Shackelford*

        Ugh, this was me for a while. I finally told Mr S that we had to get a PC because I couldn’t get anything done on the !@#$ Mac.

        Reply ↓
      2. The Big Apple*

        I should be used to this because of the phone, but I think the thing tripping me up the most right now is how hard it is to ever find the “settings” or controls in any program (because they’re often hidden unless you scroll over them on purpose). Today I’m bedeviled by sidebars that keep opening when I don’t want them to, but I can’t find when I do want them, lol. But I’m soooo happy for the people who love the ‘clean-looking’ screen or whatever haha!

        Reply ↓
        1. JustaTech*

          Don’t be hard on yourself about the phone thing: the operating system for an iPhone is super, super different from an actual Mac, so it actually isn’t much help at all.

          Give yourself as much grace as if you’d suddenly moved to Linux or some other operating system – everything is in a different place, none of your muscle memory works, and the deep structures are different.

          (I’ve used both at home and at work for aesthetic and non-aesthetic reasons and unless you’re using both every day they’re going to trip you up, especially if you’re a power user and not just like, opening a web browser.)

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    6. spcepickle*

      My company switch from AutoCAD to MircoStation (drafting software) and it took me an intensive 2 week training course followed by 6 months of daily use to regain my drafting skills. One of the odd things that helped was finding memes on-line, printing them out and posting them around my cube. It oddly made me feel not as alone and knowing that other people had enough of an issue to make a meme made me feel better.

      Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        Yeah I think it was my out-of-synch expectations that was really bumming me out at first. I just hadn’t anticipated it would be SUCH an issue. It is more common than I thought so I feel a little better. And I would like to be ambidextrous in both systems which seems like is what will eventually happen, since I still use a personal PC, so that’s going to be a nice benefit eventually.

        Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        Yes! Right now I’m doing it bite-sized (like, “how to open X on a Mac” and then watching that video / tutorial) but I need to get the big-picture sense of it, I think, as I go deeper. My actual org uses gsuite, which I’m very familiar with, and everything’s web-based really so I shouldn’t have to go toooooo deep but the file system is something I need a better big-picture overview of.

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    8. AnonAnon*

      Welcome aboard! LOL It will get easier. I’ve had a Mac for personal use for the last 15 years but I don’t use it enough to be quick with it, either. I still have to google the shortcut keys for taking a screenshot.
      They do make cheat sheets for the commands that you can buy, or I’m sure find online and print out if that helps.

      I agree…what is up with the delete key?!

      Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        aha screen shots was something that had me grumbling yesterday!! Some of the hot codes are truly not as good (“paste without formatting” was another grumbler) so I may end up reconfiguring them as others have recommended.

        Reply ↓
    9. Percy Weasley*

      You have my deepest sympathy. I understand how frustrating this is! A few years ago I had to work briefly on a boss’s Mac on either a spreadsheet or a table, entering product codes that sometimes began with 0 or 00 (you get the idea) and could NOT find where to designate that I was entering text, not numbers. It kept dropping my leading zeros and I very much needed them to remain. Every simple thing I had to do on that computer turned into a major production.

      Reply ↓
    10. I take tea*

      I have this Mac-friend that just started a job were she has to use a pc. She’s extremely frustrated, because everything is so hard. Sometimes she calls me, because I’m a pc user. You’re no way stupid, they are just different and it takes time to get used to the other version.

      Reply ↓
    12. Strive to Excel*

      I swapped to PC a while back since I needed to run a number of programs that Mac doesn’t support and didn’t want to use an emulator. I still hate Windows entire OS with a burning fiery passion, especially the $)(*& smart search bar and the entire File Explorer system. I find the actual underlying organizational structure feasible but if you’re in a situation where you can’t customize with 3rd party software (work computer) it Sucketh.

      But relearning all the keybinds is a PITA.

      Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        I remember being so annoyed with GSuite’s file system at first (“why isn’t this more like windows??”) and then after using it for a year or so there are things I actually think are better than windows and now I get annoyed the other way, so I’m confident I’ll eventually get there with my Mac too. Just … not today …

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    13. Hannah Lee*

      I had a similar issue when I was issued a work phone that was an Android/Samsung phone instead of an ios/Apple phone.

      I don’t need to use it every day, just occasionally, but to took me nearly a month to be able to figure out how to answer incoming calls and simple things like closing apps, accessing the keyboard, etc were SO counter intuitive. I was searching for instructions for even the most basic things.

      One thing that helped my mindset, helped me wade through the sense of incredible incompetence and frustration that simple tasks were now time consuming and impossible, was to frame it as an opportunity to exercise my cognitive flexibility … I’d worked with some older co-workers who were really resistant to new tech and I never wanted to be that person, so I made myself power through even though it was really hard.

      Another thing was realizing that my usual rapid fire / multi-tasking approach to things was NOT the way to do go any time I was using the new thing … it needed 100% of my focus, concentration ANY time I was using it, at least at first. And that things WERE going to take longer, be harder because I had zero experience with that environment.

      Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        I was looking at my search history today and just laaaughing. “How to close Safari Mac” was one of the first things I searched … after digging around for about five minutes trying to figure out how to open a new tab so that I could search that hahah

        Reply ↓
    14. Lemons*

      You can fix the backwards scroll thing, I hate that too! A laptop is not a tablet!
      System Settings: Trackpad > Natural scrolling > Off

      Reply ↓
    15. Rotating Username*

      I feel you! Can only give good wishes unfortunately. I myself would also enjoy some tips. :-) Every now and then I have to navigate from my usual Windows environment to struggling with Macs, and I am equally “at sea”.

      Reply ↓
    16. Beth*

      I’m having this challenge the other way–I just started a new job and am back on PC for the first time since 2017. It’s an adjustment! I inversely hate NOT having the command button (yes, I know I just need to sub in ctrl in my hot keys–but my fingers aren’t on board yet!) and it takes me three times as long to find anything.

      Most weirdly, I feel like there’s somehow way more windows and way less screen space. It’s the same size as my old apple laptop, so this has to be in my head, but it feels real! Why does outlook open a new window for every email? Why is each PDF I open in its own window? I feel like I can’t do any real work without sitting at my desk with my monitor.

      Reply ↓
      1. I Have RBF*

        Outlook doesn’t have to open every email in a new window. If you double-click on the email it will open in a new window, which is annoying. Check your settings, too.

        Reply ↓
    17. Karo*

      I switched to a Mac about 2 years ago (also for work) and the backwards delete almost broke me at first – but now it feels totally normal and I couldn’t remember what the other button was called.

      Reply ↓
      1. I Have RBF*

        PC has a forwards “Del” and a “backspace” backwards delete.

        I personally hate Mactop keyboards, since they are chicklet keys and an abbreviated keyboard.

        Reply ↓
        1. The Big Apple*

          I guess I do understand why the backwards-delete could just be a function key difference from the usual delete, especially if you’re really fixated on having fewer keys on the keyboard or whatever (or freeing them up for something else, I guess, as I’m not at all sure there are actually fewer keys). That one was frustrating at first because I couldn’t figure it out intuitively, but once I found the hot keys I have it.

          Reply ↓
    18. Who Plays Backgammon?*

      online tutorials, and a trip to a bookstore for a basic book on Mac skills. if you’re on-site, an occasional question to a coworker about how to do something in mac isn’t out of line.

      I’ve gone back and forth between pc and mac a couple of times, though it’s been about 20 years since i was in a mac workplace.

      Reply ↓
    19. Chauncy Gardener*

      I made the switch about 10 years ago and boy, did my team learn some new combinations of swear words while I acclimated!
      I think the main thing is to train yourself to look in the upper left hand corner. Also, fix your setting so you can see your apps (excel, word, outlook, etc) on the bottom of your screen. You’ll be there in no time!
      Good luck!

      Reply ↓
    20. I Have RBF*

      I feel you. I loathe the “single button” trackpad. I prefer Linux, when I can set up a two-button “chord” to emulate a three button mouse, so being reduced to one button and lots of complicated “gestures” slows me down. The only thing I like about Mac is that the shell handles most normal Linux commands just fine. But having to switch back and forth between Windows and Mac (and Linux on my personal machine) drives me crazy.

      Reply ↓
    21. The Big Apple*

      Update: yep, just cried again (2 for 2!) trying to a, download b, edit and c, upload basic documents. Just so frustrating. I’ll get it someday.

      Reply ↓
    22. Annie*

      Don’t feel stupid. If you’re working on PCs, Macs aren’t intuitive at all. They hide a lot of information so it’s easy to use but hard to modify any settings. I use iPhone and used to use Macs a long time ago, but now use PCs exclusively except when I have to help my parents, who have a Mac. I think they’re nearly impossible to navigate and make no sense at all. Ugh! I have to relearn every little thing and yes, I spend most of my time googling on how to do simple things. And I’m a very advanced computer user (not IT level, but pretty much anything up to that level).

      Reply ↓
      1. The Big Apple*

        It does seem really hard to find and alter the settings in the Mac, compared to my PC where there’s always a fairly obvious “settings” button. I swear there seem to be fewer editable settings even in programs I’ve used on PC (like Adobe) but maybe I’m just not finding them yet.

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    23. Joe Runner II*

      I feel for you! I think my past company had trouble with retention because new employees (remote) didn’t realize how difficult switching to a Mac would be if they were coming from a PC. What helped me a ton, even though I was a previous Mac user, was an external keyboard that was more like a PC keyboard, but was Mac compatible. So it had backspace and delete buttons in the typical way the other thing that helped was a mouse, not a Mac mouse, but one that is compatible. 100% easier to do right clicks when needed. And then, if your company didn’t set it up for you, you’ll want to go in and change default programs. In our case, we wanted to make sure that Gmail, Excel, word, etc. were the default programs and not the ones built in on the Mac. Also, we used Adobe pro so we did not want Preview to be default.

      Hope you are able to get it set up so you can be productive (and not frustrated)!

      Oh and – I didn’t need this much but in place of control alt delete, use Command+Option+Esc when you get the spinning wheel of death.

      Reply ↓
  11. Exhausted with a capital E*

    Not a question just an appeal for commiseration really. I am *exhausted* with work at the moment. We’re stuck in this cycle of wanting to change, gathering ideas on how we can change, discussing those ideas for change ad nauseum, failing to reach a consensus, letting everything drop because people are so busy, realising we’re all so busy because processes are inefficient and we need to change and … back to step one again. I’m part of these discussions given the nature of my job but without any authority/influence to drive change forward. I’m just so drained by it all …

    Reply ↓
    1. bananners*

      I was hired into a job like this and only lasted two years. I was drained after three months and started interviewing after a year. (I received an offer a few months after I started looking but had to wait to start because of a funding issue I was willing to wait out.) My commiseration for you is strong.

      Reply ↓
    3. Qwerty*

      Do you have anything fulfilling going on outside of work? I find this type of thing tends to stick in my brain so I’m still ruminating outside of work, venting, trying to come up with new methods, etc. But if I have something I’m really looking forward to or enjoy outside of work, I can recharge in the off hours and feel less responsible for things outside of my control during work hours.

      Reply ↓
    4. CI prof*

      I’m a continuous improvement engineer so this is basically my whole job. I am also exhausted.

      I almost just quietly left a meeting the other day because we had the “well is this a valuable meeting” talk for like the 5th month in a row and I felt so defeated. I have asked to cancel this meeting and been told that people find it useful. I have then reformatted the meeting multiple times to account for the dead air. It works for a week or two before everyone just slips back into the original cadence.

      Reply ↓
    5. Dinwar*

      Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

      What I’ve found needs to happen is that you need a few people committed to the changes and just keep pushing them. Eventually people realize it’s much easier to do things the right way–no double-handling of data, everyone can find it without pestering each other, all that good stuff. Don’t bother with the committees and discussions and such; work with one, MAYBE two people per idea, and just do it. The odds of success decrease in geometric proportion to the number of people involved. And once you’ve decided on a path forward, make it an “Of course you’ll do it this way” sort of thing. Obviously you’ll be using the latest version, here’s a copy in case you don’t have it, let me know if you see any changes that need made.

      It burns some political capital, yes. But if it’s successful it earns you far more than it burns, and after a few successes even a misstep will be seen as just part of the process.

      The downside is, you’re taking ownership of it as soon as you do this. That’s not necessarily a bad thing–it’s a way to show the higher-ups that you’re thinking big picture!–but it’s something to consider before starting. If you’re not comfortable being the person in charge of these things, you’ll need to find someone to delegate that to.

      Reply ↓
      1. Eleri*

        Same here. I also found that drastically narrowing the scope of change will help things actually get done. Pick one thing – and make sure it’s concrete enough to actually be doable – and focus on that until it gets to a “good enough” point. The other thing that I’ve found hampers any real change is getting caught up in trying to perfectly solve 100% of all scenarios. I try to avoid that go for the 80% “good enough” (or even lower if that’s what it takes) to cover most situations.

        I work in higher ed so I am very much familiar with the insanely slow crawl of change and how it’s hampered by having committees/consensus on EVERYTHING.

        Reply ↓
      2. ImHereForTheUpdates*

        I wanted to make the same suggestions – strengths in number. Get a few willing participants together and make a plan (start small and work your way up). Agreed that it a) uses your capital at work and b) makes you automatically responsible. If you have a few kindred souls to work this, that might help. Good luck!

        Reply ↓
    6. Zoe's mom*

      I was in this position at a job many years ago and honestly after I reached saturation point I mentally checked out. I nodded when appropriate but was totally disinvested.

      Reply ↓
    7. Ally McBeal*

      I work at an agency, so this is my daily experience – on any given day at least one of my clients (usually more) is in this position and it’s my least favorite part of agency life. No advice, just commiseration/sympathy.

      Reply ↓
    8. MSD*

      The problem is the “wanting to change” isn’t really true. So truthfully I would just check out of these meetings. Attend if you have to and make one suggestion then stop paying attention. Your frustration should go down once you accept that people love to talk (and talk and talk) about change but don’t want to implement it.

      Reply ↓
    9. Mockingjay*

      I’ve been involved in a number of change management and process improvement efforts over the years. The only few that succeeded were the ones in which upper management were not afraid to make a decision: “use New System going forward” and holding everyone – I mean everyone – accountable to use it.

      Current Project is hopeless in this regard. They discuss ad nauseum How To Do Things Better and never change anything. I wrote a lessons learned on one failed reform effort, only to realize that 4 years earlier I had written a nearly identical memo on the same effort.

      Advice: I’ve learned to work using the inefficient processes. The project’s tasks still get done, albeit slowly and always behind schedule, and we email reports and data around like it’s still the 90s, then we wait for the Gatekeeper to “officially” close the task (you know, that one employee who’s been there forever and refuses to modernize because it would take away her petty powers).

      The tasks themselves are enjoyable, so I focus on that.

      Reply ↓
      1. QE guy looking for a QE job*

        Endorsing this comment (and commiserating with the exhausted as well).

        The state of the improvement sounds so far away from succeeding that I recommend opting out of contributing in any way. This sounds like a big change item without a real owner and without a powerful sponsor. These don’t succeed– at least I’ve never done or seen one work.

        The ‘I found my post-mortem from four years ago’ is brutal. Longest identical one I had was only two years old (and that was depressing as hell)!

        Reply ↓
    11. Shipbuilding Techniques*

      Agree so much with this description of the problem.

      I think the only thing that will mobilize me to implement the changes I have in my head is if a new person joins my team. Sheer embarrassment at the state of our documentation and processes will drive me to put in the many extra hours beyond 40 that it would take to set things right.

      Reply ↓
  12. Unstable marshmallow*

    I posted last week about applying to masters programs in the UK and overthinking the reference requirements. Thank you to everyone who replied encouraging me to contact the admissions team! I emailed them a couple nights ago and am waiting to hear back.

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  13. Watry*

    Low-stakes question: for those of you whose workplaces do them, how often do you get phishing test emails?

    I’ve recently gone from getting one a quarter to one a month. I’ve never failed one in the 6 years I’ve been here. Meanwhile my coworkers are getting them anywhere from one a quarter to one every six months, regardless of pass frequency, so I do kind of wonder if I’m being used to up the percentages of people who catch them, but either way once a month feels like a lot!

    Reply ↓
    2. ThatGirl*

      My org sends them about once a month. We also have to change our passwords every six weeks. I find both of those things mildly annoying, but not a hill worth dying on.

      Reply ↓
      1. I Have RBF*

        My org makes us change our password every 45 days, and starts nagging you ten days before it expires. We also have 2FA on everything. It’s exhausting. Even the government only demands you change every 90 days. NIST recommends every six months, if that. Everyone but security team, and even some of them, complains about it, but management won’t budge. IMO, it’s security theater.

        Reply ↓
        1. Quercus*

          NIST actually now recommends against requiring changing passwords on any schedule. Weird how unwilling anyone is to give that up though.

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    3. PropJoe*

      We get them about once a year. They’re super easy to spot though, as our spam filters are pretty good and the test emails themselves are blatantly easy to spot.

      Reply ↓
    4. The Ginger Ginger*

      I get them once a month or so. But are your coworkers self reporting that they get them less frequently or do you KNOW they’re getting them less frequently? Because they could just be missing them when you’re not.

      Reply ↓
      1. CTT*

        Seconding this; we got our “assessment” of how we respond to those tests during annual security training and I was surprised to see that there were several I never reported, but also didn’t open. I imagine they looked like spam and I deleted them without thinking twice.

        Reply ↓
      2. Watry*

        Self-reporting, but if they clicked the link or deleted them they’d immediately receive another email requiring to re-take our yearly phishing training.

        I’m not discounting the idea that they’re just not remembering correctly, but this is more of a curiosity question than an actual issue–it’s five seconds and an eyeroll once a month, since the tests are so obvious.

        Reply ↓
        1. Kesnit*

          Why would deleting unread mean they have to take the training? It’s the point that people are ignoring phishing emails, regardless of how they are ignored?

          Reply ↓
      1. Database Queery*

        I get them about once a month – I only missed one once and that was years ago. But I do feel quietly annoyed that one colleague (who I adore) seems to have never been added to the mandatory phishing training roster so the rest of us have to watch multiple videos a year and she never does!

        Reply ↓
    6. Qwerty*

      My job upped it to monthly because too many people failed the quarterly test. The idea was to partly to see if our cyber training was having any effect and also get people in the habit of regularly reporting phishing messages so that it is muscle memory when a real one shows up.

      Reply ↓
    7. ScruffyInternHerder*

      I’d guess every two weeks or so. And similarly, I’ve not failed one, because they’re usually super obvious.

      Reply ↓
    8. Jazz and Manhattans*

      Once a month does seem a lot. I think we get them at least once a quarter. Problem is, now people are reporting safe messages from the org as well. For example, there will be an audit from a 3rd party that uses a different domain and since HR doesn’t tell us until after the audit starts, people mark them as suspicious. Makes me laugh every time!

      Reply ↓
      1. JustaTech*

        We’ve had that happen several times and the first time was our new CEO sending out gift cards (in lieu of a holiday party because 2020) and he was *pissed* that everyone reported it as phishing.

        Never mind that the last time we got ransomware’d it was because someone in the C suite clicked a link. The C suite which is far too busy to take any of that kind of training.

        Reply ↓
    9. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      I work at a university so we have to send them out usually during the beginning of semesters because there is always students who just do not know about scams and good email rules.

      Reply ↓
    10. juliebulie*

      I get them about once a month, but it is on an irregular basis. I just delete them. They are a waste of my time. I get enough ACTUAL spam and phishing in my personal and work email.
      I get what they are trying to do, but it is a poor way to build trust and confidence. People are paranoid to open and read legitimate internal emails.

      Reply ↓
    11. Alldogsarepuppies*

      Once, our local it person didn’t know a test email went out and emailed our local team (60ish folks, part of a F500 company) to not open it. Good tomes

      Reply ↓
    13. Ruby Tuesday*

      My previous company did them monthly, some times they’d through in a random one here and there. The results would be published by group. We took it very seriously, since we’re a bunch of competitive nerds who actually cared about being Ultimate Heroes – meaning we reported 100% of them, no clicks. I was quite proud to be an Ultimate Hero lol

      Reply ↓
    14. SophieChotek*

      I think we get at least one or two a month
      I’ve never failed but I have been told by management if you fail you will be required to take some sort of training (online? read a PDF?) on cybersecurity/email security, etc.

      Reply ↓
      1. Middle Name Jane*

        Ha! Do we work for the same company? Our policy was just updated to say that if you fail, you’ll be reported to your manager and then required to undergo training.

        Reply ↓
    15. Whoopsie*

      We’re down to about once a quarter now, though when we switched to this security system we were getting test emails every couple weeks. However, my team is back to once a month after one of our subconsultants’ emails got compromised and a malicious email not only got past our systems, but a team member committed the ultimate security sin – he entered his password in the linked website.

      Thankfully our IT got things locked down quick, but yeah, we’re in remedial lessons for a while.

      Reply ↓
    17. Middle Name Jane*

      That’s a great question! We get them regularly–maybe monthly? Every other month? I know they updated the policy this year to crack down on consequences for failing a test. I’ve never failed, but I’m starting to wonder how many have been failing to make them change the policy as much as they did.

      Reply ↓
    18. ImHereForTheUpdates*

      we get them randomly – funny story (now but not then…) I got a LinkedIn email to my work email but have my personal email on the account. I thought they harvested my work email and went via the email to LinkedIn… well, that was not good! I mean, nothing bad happened per se but I got an email from the IT company basically scolding me for clicking through the email. It looked so real!!! Point is: Trust nobody that you are not expecting an email from.
      As a side note: we just got an email requesting payment with attached invoice, W9 and a long email thread below looking legit as all out. Only reason I was cautious was the previous LinkedIn incident and the company person wasn’t using our complete email signature, just their name.
      Be careful out there!

      Reply ↓
    20. Annie*

      I’d say we get them about once a quarter. Most of them are pretty obvious. I only messed up once when they sent out a holiday calendar and I was expecting it to be sent out, so I clicked on it without thinking.
      I’m not sure they increase them for anyone individually if the person isn’t catching the phishing test, but I don’t keep track, so who knows?

      Reply ↓
  14. Tea Monk*

    How do you self assess how productive you are? I know I have days where I think I haven’t done anything and days that I spend all day driving and thus don’t get the rest of my work done. I try to do a to done list but I’m never sure what is an adequate amount of work to do. I’d like to cut out days where I am not productive but can’t relax because of that.

    Reply ↓
    1. The Big Apple*

      Personally, I try to think of it at the macro level … one unproductive afternoon or even whole day is to be expected sometimes given the type of work I do (sometimes I really just need to think about something a long time before an answer or approach comes to me). I have a daily and a weekly to-do list but I try to keep it to like three big things a day and consider the rest “bonus” – but I do try to make sure by the end of the week I did everything I said I was going to do. If not, I’m probably going to end up working a bit late on Friday or Sunday to make it up.

      Reply ↓
    2. Unstable marshmallow*

      Something I’m trying out this week is a simple tally of tasks that are added to my plate on a given day vs tasks that I finish that day.

      My goal is to have the “done” tally be larger than the “added” tally, which (theoretically) should mean a net reduction in my to-do list. No writing down what the tasks are, and I can start fresh every day. The hardest part for me has been remembering to tally things added to my plate, but we’ll see where it goes.

      Reply ↓
    3. Nice cup of tea*

      Driving has to be done. Rest is important. Don’t overthink it. As long as you average out to getting enough done over a week or whatever its fine.

      Reply ↓
    4. Sharon*

      Are you setting realistic goals ? You need to know where you’re heading to know whether you got there or not. And remember, the point is to meet the goals you set – not to churn as much work as humanly possible every minute of every day.

      Reply ↓
      1. Tea Monk*

        I don’t know. My job is the type of job where you could work 16 hours a day and never complete everything you were supposed to do and if you did, someone would ask for just one more thing! So I have no idea what’s realistic to expect.

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    5. Mid*

      I measure how much I get done on a monthly basis, not daily or weekly. My job tends to have two really really busy weeks a month, and two slower weeks per month, so sometimes I’ll feel like I’ve done nothing for a week and sometimes I work 12 hours in a day. I keep a list of background tasks that I want to get around to when I’m not feeling inspired by my normal work/don’t have much to do, and since I WFH, I also do chores around the house when work isn’t clicking. As long as my main job duties are done, which they are, I consider everything else I do to be part of my job, because resting and getting other tasks done allows me to focus on my main work when I need to.

      Rest is normal and important! There’s some study that says people average like 4 hours of “real” work per day or similar.

      Reply ↓
  15. PropJoe*

    These are more of meta questions about AAM itself, than a workplace issue for me. Feel free to remove if not appropriate for this thread.

    Have there ever been descriptive stats published about AAM? Such as:
    – As of date X, Y total posts have been published.
    – In 2022, posts had N comments on average, with standard deviation S.
    – If you consider all Y total posts as a graph, and the linked posts at the bottom as edges linking two nodes, the average path length to crawl all Y posts is L.
    – Of all N reader letters posted, M received a followup in a separate post (whether as a solo post or a “here’s 5 letter updates” thing).

    Reply ↓
    1. Volunteer Enforcer*

      I am aware of a few questions and columns on here that address similar information. Semi-annual posts ranking top 10 posts for comments and page views, and a few questions along the lines of “How do you pick questions and schedule posting Allison.” Plus a few announcements of new features in housekeeping posts, like being able to collapse comment threads. Unfortunately I haven’t seen exactly what you’re asking for though.

      Reply ↓
    2. Hlao-roo*

      Like Volunteer Enforcer mentioned, there’s an annual “Most popular posts of [year]” post with the top ten most viewed posts and the top ten most commented-on posts (excluding open threads). Up to 2016, those posts included a graph of website visits (and the number of unique visitors and number of page views for that specific year, not graphed).

      There are currently 1,512 posts in the “updates” category. Some (probably most?) update posts are updates to multiple letters, so my guess is that somewhere between 2-4 times that number of individual letters have updates (about 3,000 to 6,000).

      My very rough estimate on the number of letters is 20,600 (I added up all of the categories excepting “Friday good news,” “me, media, etc.,” “open threads,” short answers,” “sponsors,” and “updates” and divided that number by 3–because many posts are tagged with multiple categories–then I multiplied the number of short answer posts by 5–because that’s generally the number of questions on a short answer post*–and I added those two numbers together to get about 20,600). So using my two estimates, maybe 14-30% of letters have updates?

      *Years ago, the short answer posts were 7 or 8 questions per post, but they’ve been 5 questions Mon-Thurs and 4 questions on Fri for several years, so I used 5 for a quick (and very rough) estimate.

      Reply ↓
  16. flora_poste*

    I’ve been offered a job and keep going back and forth over whether to take it or whether to stay in my current role. I’ve drawn out multiple pros and cons lists, consulted far and wide – and feel I am none the wiser. My current manager is being extremely gracious about this (and I trust him), but I feel everyone’s patience is starting to wear somewhat thin, not least my own with my own indecision. Broad pros and cons list as follows:

    Pros of moving:
    – Higher salary and more senior position.
    – More focused work on one concentrated area, so could become more of a subject-matter expert.
    – Manager seems is very pleasant, will also be new so an opportunity to shape the team together.

    Cons of moving:
    – I enjoy my current job in terms of breadth of work.
    – I really like my manager and current team, and organisation as a whole – it’s a good culture fit for me, whereas the new org would be a big change (for good or bad).
    – I’ve been here for two and a half years, and feel I’m getting into the swing of being good at my job. Some of the aspects of it that I am less keen on would be exactly the same in the new job.
    – The area of focus of the new job is quite an intense area – it would be a steep subject matter learning curve, and I am not sure I can match the intensity of those in it.

    Any advice very welcome!

    Reply ↓
    1. Jiffy #6*

      So my 2 big questions would be —

      Are you interested in the work you’d be doing for the new job?
      Do you feel there is room for growth at your old job?

      If the answers are yes and no — take new job.
      If the answers are no and yes — keep the old job.
      If the answers are yes and yes — I would have a conversation with your current boss to put you on a path towards promotion or whatever it is you want.
      If the answers are no and no — Well, that’s a pickle. Follow up question is whether the new position puts you on the path you would like to be on. If the answer is still no, keep the current job.

      Reply ↓
    2. MSD*

      Often a higher salary is based on higher cost of living. If that’s the case then the $$ may not be a factor. In both cases managers and teams change – people leave, new people start. I have to say that to me there doesn’t seem to be a compelling reason to leave your current job. The plus of a higher salary & more senior position may not be such a plus. Also moving is way more disruptive than people think. Having to find a place to live, new doctors, dentist, grocery stores, friends, and on and on and on. It’s always difficult to make a decision when there’s no clear right answer so you could just flip a coin but I recommend that you stay at your current job

      Reply ↓
    3. Rusty Shackelford*

      Did you actually apply for the new job or are you being recruited? If you’re looking, and your current job is aware of that, how will that affect the cons list?

      Reply ↓
    4. Zoe's mom*

      I would add in a couple other questions
      Are you mentally in a good space to handle the “steep subject matter learning curve” that’ll last anywhere from 3 months to a year? Do you have a really stressful home life or a place where you can rest and recharge? Do you have emotional supports in place you can lean on when you feel like pulling your hair out?

      Reply ↓
      1. Dasein9 (he/him)*

        Yeah, I’d focus on this, too.

        Does the idea of the steep learning curve make you feel activated and excited or tired and drained? Listen to your gut on this part.

        Reply ↓
    5. Retiring Academic*

      It sounds as though the pros and cons are very evenly balanced. This is what I would do: toss a coin, heads you stay, tails you go (or vice versa), then pay really close attention to your first, instinctive reaction when you get the result. I find that helps to clarify what you REALLY want, when you’re too bogged down in trying to be rational about it. Of course you don’t have to follow what the coin tells you to do, it’s just to clarify your feelings.

      Reply ↓
      1. Flower*

        THIS. I was in a similar dilemma, had made numerous pro/con lists, etc —and finally after that didn’t work, I asked myself how I would feel saying yes. Then how I would feel saying no. That worked.

        Reply ↓
    6. Charming Kitten*

      something that might be worth considering if you’re in the U.S. is The Current Unpleasantness. Which job relies more on government programs, political connections, or stable international relations?

      Reply ↓
      1. Midwest Manager too!*

        I disagree with this principle. There are plenty of reasons that a soft yes is better than no. A perfect example is my own upcoming transition. I accepted a role that is a lateral move. The new role will be challenging, steep learning curve, and a LOT of work. I’m comfortable in my current role. But my current role has no upward movement. The lateral move puts me into a path for clear progression in a few years, and gives me visibility on a stage I haven’t been on before.

        Is it the move I wanted next for my career? Not really. Is it the move that will make my next step less of a hurdle to achieve? Absolutely. A “no” would have stuck me in this stagnant place.

        Reply ↓
    8. KitKat*

      Here is my husband’s method where a simple pro/con list isn’t doing the trick. He calls it 10-50-90.

      You can think of it like, there’s a range of how well or how badly each option could go. If you take the new job it could go great, or it could go not so great, you can’t be sure. You DO want to keep your brain away from absolute worst-case/best-case scenarios and think about what’s likely to happen, and you DO want a way to evaluate the choices without knowing for certain whether they’ll go well or not.

      So for each possible choice (take the new job, stay in current job), imagine what life would look like:
      – At the 10th percentile outcome for that choice
      – At the 50th percentile outcome for that choice
      – At the 90th percentile outcome for that choice
      Where the 10th percentile = it goes pretty badly, but not like “asteroid hits the earth” kind of bad. Bad but realistic. The worst *likely* outcome. 90th is the opposite, good but realistic, best *likely* outcome.

      Then you compare 90th percentile “stay in my job” vs. 90th percentile “take the new job”. Which one seems better to you? Compare 50th vs. 50th, 10th vs. 10th. You don’t have to be super formal about it but what you’re trying to get to is, does one work out better only if things go really, really, well? Does one basically win whether it goes well or poorly, you’re just still stuck on super unlikely/unrealistic aspects of it?

      Reply ↓
    9. Oh January*

      A different sort of approach, and only you’ll know if this could be helpful, but it has been for me —

      How old are you?
      and/or
      How many years have you been in your industry?

      If you’re in your 20s, you’ll have so much time and opportunity to move to a more specific role throughout your career. Now, at a job you love and are comfortable in, is a great position to get really good at what you do, maybe try some new things and figure out exactly what specialization is right for you.
      If you’re in your 50s, that calculation is different as you have less Working Years remaining.

      Same kind of thing if you’ve been in the industry 2 years versus 30.

      Big picture, what stage are you in?

      Reply ↓
  17. Junior Dev*

    Remote worker here and I’ve recently found my concentration is way, way better when I can go for a walk before starting work.

    What have you found that affects your concentration? What routines or practices help?

    Reply ↓
    1. The Ginger Ginger*

      I’ve tried different playlists for different tasks and had some success. So something upbeat and fun while I’m reviewing the product backlog, epic fantasy instrumentals while I work on documentation, that kind of thing. Changes things up, but after a while also sort of reminds my brain of the current task via sound cues.

      Reply ↓
      1. The teapots are on fire*

        Number one is sleep. An extra half hour of sleep gets me home at least 30 minutes earlier because I’m faster and smarter.

        Reply ↓
    2. PropJoe*

      I have noise cancelling headphones and my prescribed adhd medicine (atomoxetine).

      Without those, trying to concentrate was like wrestling a greased up pig or nailing jello to a tree.

      With those, I tend to have 3 to 5 hours of productive mental focus per day where I’m actually getting things done while wondering “is this what normal people feel like all the time”

      Reply ↓
      1. Mutually supportive*

        We don’t! An average of 4 hours of productive mental time per day is pretty decent, the rest is fluff. Very few people can maintain quality focus for a full working day, and even fewer on consecutive days!

        Reply ↓
    3. Percy Weasley*

      Taking my lunch break in the middle of the day is crucial! Getting away from my desk to eat/take a walk/clean the bathroom/etc. makes a huge positive difference for me.

      Reply ↓
      1. Cookie Monster*

        Yep. I not only take a walk, I listen to a podcast too. Nothing too intense, usually something funny. That way my mind isn’t racing with 100 things I have to do when I get back to work. I only focus on my surroundings and the podcast, which helps me hone my attention span for the afternoon while getting some fresh air.

        Reply ↓
    5. Medium Sized Manager*

      A playlist that I know I like so I’m not futzing with what to listen to.
      Phone in the other room (increasingly more difficult with all of the two-step authenticators)
      Doing my “deep think” work first before getting distracted by questions, emails, etc.
      Front-loading my week because I know my concentration will be nothing by Friday.

      Reply ↓
    6. cat herder*

      Hybrid worker here and I go for a brisk walk nearly every morning. If I miss it for whatever reason (overslept, wind chill is -50F, etc.), I am definitely less awake / less focused. This is definitely a thing!! Listen to your body and go with it if it works for you!

      Reply ↓
    8. Sola Lingua Bona Lingua Mortua Est*

      I’ve been remote since 2011. It’s counter-intuitive, and the optics are horrible, but I’ve found that, when faced with a distraction, my best way to get back on track is just resolve it and pick the task back up. The harder I try to ignore them and power through, the worse my concentration is. A 5 minute detour often has shaved an hour or more off my ETA.

      Reply ↓
    9. OrdinaryJoe*

      Remote since 2017 and feral at this point – living under a bridge vs in an office would be a a tough call LOL – but for me, any routine, just like pre-remote days … I get up at the same time, shower, dress, breakfast, ease into work by reading online for 5-10 minutes, clean out emails, lunch at basically the same time, etc. Very similar to if I was in an office except no commute and laundry is often done during my lunch break :-)

      Reply ↓
    10. Fluff*

      AuDHD here

      I find getting a mid morning or early afternoon (ok any workout) does something amazing for my brain. Who knew? I am limited by work though so not easy to get it in. My goal is 1-2x a week. (too bad I need job).

      Parallel play / body doubling at work. I use online groups. That sometimes helps too.

      Changing my environment. Sometimes a Chic Fil A (un limited tea) for 1-2 hours or a coffee house or reserving a library room. There you also have a nice reward of walking in the stacks.

      Still trying to learn more useful routines. I do rotate my timers because I need some new and shiney variations. TicTic, Time Timer, some apps (Forest, I like growing trees). I do ebb and flow on the apps though – again for new and shiney.

      Reply ↓
    11. EA*

      Agree on exercise! I’ve been trying to become a Morning Gym Person and it’s actually been great for productivity.

      Also, kind of counter intuitive, but being busy actually helps me concentrate better. Making a nice to do list and then crossing them off!

      Also, coffee…

      Reply ↓
  18. Name name name*

    If I’m asked about a job I applied for but didn’t end up taking, what’s the best response?
    I work for municipal government. Months ago I applied to a Fed job, and went through the whole security clearance process and they called several former supervisors I still work with, including one who now runs the division I work for. We get along well with a long professional history and he was supportive, that was fine…I told him it was a backup plan only (which made sense for reasons). With the election, I didn’t take the job. It seems like it will inevitably come up, and I’m curious what the best answer would be. Say I decide to stay because it was only a backup plan? Say I was tempted by the pay and responsibility increase but stayed after the election? I’m feeling a little sidelined into useful but boring and less prestigious work in our department reorganization (why yes I am a woman in a male field). I have enough job protections that I could at most be demoted or given less interesting work, not let go.

    Reply ↓
    1. Nice cup of tea*

      It depends who you are talking to.

      You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you don’t feel they will understand your reasons just be vague.

      Reply ↓
    2. JustaTech*

      I think that a general *gesture at the state of the world* is a pretty sufficient answer, though for some people you might need to come out and say it a little more clearly “what with the current instability I decided this wasn’t the right move for me”.

      Especially with your current-ish supervisor you don’t need to say *why* you were looking elsewhere if you think there’s any chance of even minimal blowback.

      Reply ↓
    4. MSD*

      Why would a job that you applied for but didn’t take come up? It’s not on your resume so who would bring it up? Certainly you shouldn’t.

      Reply ↓
      1. MSD*

        Oops didn’t realize you were talking about folks at your current job. At this point I can’t imagine anyone would ask why you didn’t take it. They’d most likely say “phew! Good thing you didn’t take that job”

        Reply ↓
        1. Name name name*

          Yeah I just mean eventually I might get asked by people at my current job leadership “hey what ever happened with that?” since they both know about it and we have a friendly enough relationship that it wouldn’t be weird to ask. I’m not going to bring it up myself.
          Part of me wants to emphasize I’m loyal, I stayed! And part of me wants to let them see I’m willing and able to leave for bigger things if I’m not getting them here.

          Reply ↓
    5. Radish Cake*

      Given the absolute state of things now and pre-election talk about mass layoffs I don’t think anyone reasonable would fault you for turning down a federal job.

      Reply ↓
    6. Fedie*

      If it came up you could say you decided to decline it because you enjoy your current workplace and also with the new president’s stated intention to reduce the size of the government even around the time of the election you weren’t sure if as a new hire you would have been retained. Given the fact that almost all probationary employees have been let go from the federal government and it’s been widely reported in the news, I think anyone would understand your wise decision.

      Reply ↓
    7. Educator*

      “I was glad to have the chance to explore the federal opportunity, and I cannot thank you enough for your support in the background check process, but I ultimately decided that my current role is a better fit for my professional goals. I’m particularly enjoying our work on [project x] which will help me better [professional skill y]”

      Ideally, I think you would say this in a thank you email to the people who were called for your clearance check. I would want to be proactive about telling people I am happy where I am and not looking to leave in general.

      Reply ↓
    8. Hyaline*

      Who’s asking, and in what context? If this were to come up in some kind of more formal workplace/promotion/job interview situation, then yes, have a polished answer like “I was interested in the increased scope of responsibility as a Llama Specialist, but ultimately decided that the stability of my role here as a Gerbil Habitrail Builder was my priority at that time.” If it’s just idle asking, you don’t owe anyone an answer, but if it’s someone who has some sway over your work (and how you might be utilized in the future), I might take the opportunity to emphasize what drew you to the role you applied for–maybe hearing you’d like to take on more responsibility, or specialized work, or whatever, could be helpful to you breaking out of feeling sidelined.

      Reply ↓
    10. Annony*

      I would be surprised if you were even asked why you didn’t take the job. It’s pretty obvious that federal employment isn’t great for job security right now. That isn’t a controversial or political viewpoint. It is a simple fact that anyone who isn’t living under a rock knows.

      Reply ↓
  19. Alice*

    I read a great blog post from one of the government workers who is caught up in the DOGE purge — Ethan Marcotte. I’ll put a link in a reply. The key part that struck me was:
    “A friend suggested that while things were calm at work, I should write down some lines I wouldn’t want to cross: things I’d want to watch out for that, if they materialized, might be a reason to leave. This was wonderful advice, and I’m grateful to them for it. Equipped with a plan, even a small one, I started thinking through what my lines would be.”
    I am wondering — what are your lines? Do you have lines?

    Reply ↓
    1. Anononononononononymous*

      State employee here in a job that involves both HIPAA and FERPA covered data. I’ve always had a line that I would quit if anyone tried to make me to violate either of those laws. I’ve now added that I will quit if they try to force me to provide data on our clients to ICE or anyone else looking for undocumented residents.

      I would chain myself to our servers if they try to have someone from outside come in and connect into our data system ala DOGE.

      Reply ↓
      2. Lucy Librarian*

        I’m not government — I work at a private university. But I’ve already seen some private universities remove DEI references. I decided I would not remove anything I have control over that someone else defines as DEI.

        Reply ↓
    2. No Tribble At All*

      Ooh, this is very interesting to me, especially since I’m in the defense industry. This is hard to answer because a lot of our customers are internally obfuscated, so something I’d feel comfortable doing for Group X isn’t a line I can draw for Group Y — because I have no idea who these people are!

      In some ways my lines got a lot blurrier after having a kid, because my priority has to be providing stability.

      Reply ↓
      1. Starbuck*

        I guess I’m a bit surprised someone working for a US defense contractor would have like, moral/ethical lines about the work itself since it already is what it is.

        Reply ↓
        1. RagingADHD*

          Defense contractors also do stuff like feed people and provide shoes and vaccines, you know. It isn’t all weapons development.

          Reply ↓
    4. JustaTech*

      I work in biotech and I keep a picture of Frances Oldham Kelsey on my board. (She’s the FDA scientist who said “where’s the safety data?” for thalidomide and thereby saved the whole US from horrible birth defects.) I put her picture up when my company was owned by some deeply unethical people, to remind myself of the reasons that there are rules, regulations and standards in my field, and to hold fast to my personal ethics.

      So my hardest line is safety, and with that my second hardest line is unsupported stem cell treatments.

      Soapbox Tangent: Right now the ONLY safe and effective use of stem cells is a bone marrow transplant for specific blood cancers. All those clinics selling “stem cells” for your eyes or your knees? Dangerous, dangerous quacks. At best you’ll get no benefit and waste thousands of dollars. At worst you’ll go blind or get a whole bunch of tumors. End Tangent.

      My company has done some safe, sensible, early stage stem cell work that is legit (as in the science is good, it still needs to be tested in clinical trials, and it wasn’t actually putting stem cells in people). But at one point my boss said oh maybe we’ll work with this company that wants to [do a very questionable thing with stem cells] and I said if we did that I would be out so fast I’d leave a Wiley E Coyote hole in the wall. (We did not work with that company.)

      Reply ↓
      1. anonny*

        I used to work at a medical spa while I was getting my career started. It was amazing the bs they would sell to people. The ‘Vampire Facial’ where the doc would take your blood and ‘remove the stem cells’ and smear it all over the patient’s face. Zero studies, zero backing…just some guy in California made up a buzz word and started doing it. Then trained more docs to do it.
        Geez, and the bs products with stem cells!
        It’s gross to swindle people for the sake of beauty, but horrific to make these claims for lifesaving therapy.
        I’m right there with you.

        Reply ↓
      2. BellStell*

        Thank you. I worked in the early 90s for CellPro in Bothell, WA. Stem cell transplants save lives as you said from some cancers. :)

        Reply ↓
      3. BMT Parent*

        There are many stem cells “treatments” that are preying on people at the worst moments. However, stem cells BMT is not just a treatment for certain blood cancers. My son had a BMT to treat an immune system deficiency. There were some dark days after his diagnosis where reading this would have confirmed my worst fears. I was reading this site all the time as a distraction at that point so just wanted to comment in case there is anyone out there in the dark times.

        Reply ↓
        1. Annony*

          Yes. BMT is a legitimate treatment for more diseases than most people think. But I do agree that I have not come across any other “stem cell therapy” that was legitimate.

          Reply ↓
        2. JustaTech*

          Right, sorry! It’s just that people hear about a friend who had a BMT and then think a spa will put “stem cells” into their knee, and it’s so hard to quickly explain the nuance.

          I hope your son is doing better!

          Reply ↓
    5. Head Sheep Counter*

      I will not give access to my office unless instructed to do so from my boss.
      I will not give access to my computers with my own passwords.
      I will not open the door for you if you do not have the appropriate badge.

      I will call security if I see something unusual.
      I will leave if needed to not compromise myself.

      Reply ↓
    6. Head Sheep Counter*

      I honestly am baffled and concerned about the access granted so far. How? I need somewhere like six passwords before my day starts. That’s a lot of fail-safes that failed.

      Reply ↓
      2. Charlotte Lucas*

        There are federal laws that protect the access to and use of a lot of that data. Much of what is going on with data is a clear violation of those laws. And then there’s the clear conflict of interest angle.

        Reply ↓
        1. Head Sheep Counter*

          The thing is I work with secure data… and… that’s why the six passwords. Two of those are simply to get into my office.

          I have questions. Sympathy for the folks living it but… also… questions.

          Reply ↓
    8. Banker of the Food Variety*

      If the work changes. I signed up to do a job, and that job serves everybody. My employer is loud about DEIJ and we’re going to be in the firing line, and I know that we’re going to fight any orders that will prevent us from doing our jobs. But that’s the lawyers and the political advocates and the leaders. I’m just a peon. My job is to help people, and until helping people is illegal – actually illegal, not just threatened – I’m going to keep on doing that.

      Reply ↓
    9. Former Preschool Teacher*

      My first aid position, they told me during on boarding they weren’t going to follow mandatory reporting laws. They said we couldn’t make a direct report, we could only tell our supervisor who would make the determination. This is the exact opposite of what the law says. We are mandatory reporters because we are required to report suspected abuse, and liable if we don’t. When I pushed back, the person said she’d been reprimanded when an employee made a report. I didn’t stay in the position and I made sure to ask the mandatory reporting policies in my next interview.

      Reply ↓
        1. Former Preschool Teacher*

          A staff member had reported a child’s parents. The administration didn’t want to upset parents so they wanted to screen any future reports, protecting the program instead of children.

          Reply ↓
  20. My Back Hurts*

    My workplace – public library – made the ridiculous decision to begin requiring uniforms starting next week (was announced Monday of this week). We are going from business casual to requiring branded shirts, pants, and tennis shoes. Our order for five branded shirts is due Monday — the same day that the uniform requirement is supposed to begin. There are people who have to request medical accommodations for the required footwear or for sensory reasons (thus disclosing medical information that was previously unannounced). People are having to go out and buy pants and shoes — so many people only ever wear skirts. In theory we have a reimbursement policy for uniforms but they did not mention when rolling out the policy — I think they are hoping we forget or will search for a loophole to avoid payouts. We think we’re going to be required to wear the uniforms for our statewide conference presentations in April (!) instead of business formal. (And I won’t even get into the reason I think this requirement has started, which is discriminatory.)

    I’m collecting information to determine if there is any way to push back on this. Has anyone ever heard of public library staff wearing uniforms? Do you have any suggestions for collective action?

    Reply ↓
    1. Lunch Lady Update*

      Wow, what a poor use of limited budgets. That seems like a very strange thing for them to be worrying about right now.

      Reply ↓
      1. My Back Hurts*

        Apparently the decision came from city council — and we literally just finished a six-month hiring freeze with no cost-of-living increases due to alleged budget shortfalls across the city.

        Reply ↓
        1. MsM*

          Feels like it might be worth it to round up as many people as you can to go visit city council and insist on speaking to whoever thought this was a good idea. Bonus if they actually represent any of you as constituents.

          Reply ↓
        2. Charlotte Lucas*

          I would have guessed “library board.” But I am curious what they hope to achieve. It’s a weird place for uniforms, and I would wonder about it if I were a patron.

          Reply ↓
    2. AnotherLibrarian*

      When I worked in academics at a small private school, we had branded polo shirts that we were “encouraged” to wear on Fridays and on Homecoming Week, Parents Weekend, other sorts of outreach events.

      I have never heard of a public library having full on uniforms.

      Reply ↓
      1. My Back Hurts*

        No union, but I’m now seriously considering helming an effort there. I need to look into legality of whether we’re even able to unionize and what options we have at that point.

        Reply ↓
        1. moql*

          If you’re not sure where to start I recommend just reaching out to *a union, any union.* My husband reached out to a local union for advice in your situation and they were extremely helpful even though his company didn’t make sense to be added as a chapter of their union. Gave him where to start looking, what he would need to do things legally, and some recommendations for other unions that he would be a good fit for.

          For now, stick to not even googling on your work computer. Do everything at home and face to face between coworkers.

          Reply ↓
        2. Indolent Libertine*

          My best guess is that AFSCME is the place for you to start. American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees. Their website says they represent more than 25,000 library workers nationwide. I’ll put the actual link in a reply nested underneath this one.

          Reply ↓
    6. Ally McBeal*

      Show up as a group at city council meetings. Reporters often attend those, so not only will you be able to push back directly on the people who made the decision, you’ll have the ear of local news, who will certainly be interested in taxpayer dollars being deployed toward uniforms for librarians.

      Reply ↓
    7. Zoe's mom*

      Speaking on behalf of the Dane and Rock County WI public library systems, no there is no uniform. I agree with the commenter who said it is ridiculous use of limited funds. Our hours are truncated due to the budget, why the heck spend money on uniforms?!

      Reply ↓
    8. My Back Hurts*

      I found out more information that makes it incredibly clear that the motivation for this move is transphobia. I’d already thought it was to soft-ban pronoun pins (they have been allowed but could not be attached to city-branded clothing). The pants/sneakers requirement is targeting at least one trans-fem individual.

      Reply ↓
      2. Dasein9 (he/him)*

        That is so gross. If I could, I’d pitch in for all of you to have matching lanyards in the trans flag colors.

        Reply ↓
      3. Educator*

        If this is a community effort to target a particular individual, I think, before you do anything else to organize, it is critical to talk to her, share what you are thinking of doing, and ask if she feels safe/comfortable with it. She needs to have the agency here, since that is really what the city council is trying to take away from her. The world is really scary right now for targeted groups.

        Reply ↓
        1. My back hurts*

          Oh, definitely agreed. We have a number of trans people here, myself included. I have never met the person I suspect is a more visible target as that work at another location (also don’t know pronouns). I’m going to take personal action in my own name as a form of resistance. however, in the long run I don’t see a way forward that doesn’t involve some sort of collective action.

          Reply ↓
          1. MSD*

            I am so sorry. I really don’t get why this is such a hot button for people. It’s like they’re foaming at the mouth.

            Reply ↓
      5. Jean (just Jean)*

        Please include me as one more AAM reader/Internet stranger who thinks this transphobia-motivated uniform idea is horrendous as well as a complete waste of library resources and staff bandwidth. I hope you are able to gather other coworkers and citizens to squash this idea. If you have any sympathetic elected officials, you might want to alert them–as well as local news outlets (print, online, radio, TV, podcasts) to what’s happening.

        Reply ↓
    9. Zona the Great*

      Alert community activists who watch the local gov and show up at council meetings. Have them ask why on earth tax payers are paying for professionals to wear what sounds like Best Buy-style garb.

      Reply ↓
    10. foureyedlibrarian*

      I’m so sorry to hear this. I work at an academic medical library and I can’t imagine being asked to wear a uniform. And at a public library? Definitely not. I feel like if any thing, public libraries would be the place to express yourselves through fashion and my library would require a uniform. No advice, just support and good vibes!

      Reply ↓
    11. Wilbur*

      Librarians in my town have an ID badge, and even if they didn’t they all have librarian vibes. I’d much rather have my library spend their limited resources on literally anything else.

      Reply ↓
    12. Librarian of Things*

      I can’t imagine you have a whole lot of wiggle room to push back. Other departments have uniform requirements (fire, facilities, streets, etc.), so certainly a government could require the library staff to wear them, too. My old library was looking into it at one point because they were struggling with getting people to dress appropriately for work. (No, really, you can’t wear your Budweiser frogs t-shirt to work in the library. And yet.) I was glad they didn’t because I look BAD in a polo shirt!

      It’s definitely lousy and extra lousy with the short notice and lack of transparency. I literally do not own sneakers I could wear to work (they’re mint green, clearance rack, shoes). I’m a suits-and-heels librarian myself.

      Reply ↓
    13. Annie*

      That seems bizarre to me. I could maybe understand a branded shirt so that customers can identify you easily when they need to ask for help, but there’s no reason for pants and tennis shoes. That’s just overkill. And even the shirt is overkill if you wear name tags or something else that makes you easily identifiable as a worker and resource person.
      If it is a big deal to you, I think organizing and pushing back by a large number of employees is a good thing, especially if, as you say, it’s because of a trans person.

      Reply ↓
  21. Jiffy #6*

    Admittedly I have imposter syndrome. Also true is the fact that I’ve had not great experiences throughout my career. One could both argue that I’ve had not great supervisors who took their lack of experience and confidence out on me… or that I just wasn’t the rock star that my bosses wanted. (I work in PR where success is both subjective and occasionally not controllable) My career and profession have never been a good fit. I’ve made do. I’m competent. But if you’re expecting creativity and rock star work, I’m not your girl. I get things done. That’s always been my claim to fame.

    I’m older now and able to shuck off some of my need for validation. But, it’s still there. As I get closer to retirement (but still quite some time away) I’m wondering how to navigate the fact that I will never reach the top of my field — and to be honest, I don’t really want to be in demand that way. I’m comfortable doing my job and going home at the end of the day. But, those jobs are hard to find.

    And the expectations and needs of my career are starting to weigh on me. Issue is the field I’m considering shifting to is not a great option at the moment. (The federal government, federal funding, the world being somewhat a cluster f*** right now)

    So I guess I’m curious about what folks would recommend to keep doing what I’m doing while trying to maintain some semblance of a life. I’ve ignored myself for about 20 years, so it will take a while to build that up, so I need some structure to support it. Setting boundaries is a problem, as I’m basically always on-call and my schedule depends on whatever crisis or news pops up during the week.

    Reply ↓
    1. Zoe's mom*

      “I’ve ignored myself for about 20 years”

      That is your starting point right there. Start yourself on a quest to find out what brings you joy, what fills your cup. It sounds hokey and cheesy but there is real value in it. What is accessible to you that you can investigate? What interests you?

      I will give you an example. When the election happened I was just starting a new job. An important job to me and there was a steep stressful learning curve. I had also stopped drinking so couldn’t use that as a crutch any more. I had to cut out politics completely from my life because I simply could not mentally handle the stressors of work and politics together. So I started focusing on what makes me happy. My dogs do so I increased their walks, brushing etc. I literally lay on the floor with them and watch them eat bully sticks. It brings me peace. I also like to cook so I’ve been exploring the world of cooking. I do this at my own pace and pursue what I want. It makes me happy. I don’t watch the news at all now except for the weather. Too much stress. I need to focus on me, getting through this rough transition and taking care of the ones I love. Go on your own journey.

      Reply ↓
      1. ID Gal*

        This is great advice! PS – my brother likes to cook for his (rescued / formerly abused) dog and it brings them both a lot of happiness!

        Reply ↓
    2. Charming Kitten*

      Your career doesn’t have to be the place where you shine. You can shine in your art, in your circle of friends, in your community, in your activism, in the eyes of a friend or a kid or even a cat.

      What boundaries can you set on the on-call nature of your work? Can you ask not to be called on Sundays? Can you stop picking up the phone after 6 p.m.? If you can carve out a time for yourself, that’s a great start. Even a weekly therapy appointment (which might be a good idea if you’re not already doing it) can give you a respite from the on-demand cycle.

      Reply ↓
    3. Jiffy #6*

      I do have my weekly therapist :) And try to lean hard on activities I enjoy.

      But, I don’t really have a designated off time. If I’m unavailable over the weekend or after hours, I usually have to let people know or I run the risk of them contacting me with a situation where no response would be not good. To be fair to the people I work with, they’re all lovely. It’s just the nature of the work I do. I will occasionally stall a response so people don’t have the expectation that I’ll respond in minutes. But, I wish I could say that I’m able to carve out time. The truth is that I can’t. When I go to bed, I make sure my phone is not silent, in case there’s an emergency overnight (which has happened).

      (These are all reasons why I was trying to shift out of my profession, but again… the world kind of sucks right now)

      Reply ↓
  22. Nonprofit (Dis)Organization*

    For folks at small-to-medium companies or nonprofits, does your org chart / reporting structure make sense? I’ve been trying to learn more about the reporting structures at peer nonprofits and boy oh boy, do they all seem… idiosyncratic.

    Reply ↓
    1. Sloanicota*

      Ha! Mine is completely odd to me. Clearly very much a legacy thing, where different department leaders were more or less about empire-building. One thing I’ve always chuckled about in my roles is the very overlapping department names. We always have something like “Science” and then something like “Water Quality Monitoring” which is under some other random department like “Toxics.” Why the heck would these science-seeming things not be under “science”? It’s not like we have an ivory tower academic research-for-research’s sake department at my small and scrappy nonprofit.

      Reply ↓
    2. Dust Bunny*

      Ours does (40-ish person nonprofit):

      Executive director
      Department heads
      Everybody else, with subtle distinctions within departments
      – – – – – I’m an assistant so technically I have three superiors within my department, but the department head is really the only one who gives me orders, so to speak. The other two are welcome to ask me to do things but in practice only do in extreme circumstances. The other assistant has less experience than I do and acts as though I’m her superior, but I’m not, and I wouldn’t ask for her help without going through the department head first.

      Reply ↓
    3. Buni*

      Ours has ~10 employees, and almost every single one of us has a specialised job. So technically there’s a hierarchy and technically there’re one or two people above me who could say ‘Hey, could you do this / do this in this way’, but if I were to push back with a legitimate reason then it’s not like anyone else could step in and take over. Generally speaking I’m told a desired end result, but execution is entirely up to me and so long as it gets done no one inteferes.

      Reply ↓
    4. MaryMary*

      No – not really and it’s crazy!

      It’s very flat with an ED who doesn’t want to manage anyone or address any issues … except they are technically everyone’s boss … so … LOL

      We also have “Directors” who have no one under them with very little responsibilities and Coordinators who do a ton, so no real consistency with job titles.

      Our ED also gave a temporary INTERN the title Office Manager?? in their email signature??? Makes zero sense to anyone.

      Reply ↓
    5. Generic Name*

      I used to work at a 75 person consulting company, and the org chart/company organization seemed to be some kind of 3rd rail/taboo. For a long time, the company just didn’t ever put out an org chart. People had no way of knowing who someone’s boss was unless you asked them. Part of that was when the company was smaller, the structure was basically “The Owner” and “Everyone Else”, who reported to her. As the company grew, there was an informal structure, but if you dared say the quiet part out loud, you’d get roundly corrected by one of the favorites (who would later become the leadership/owner group of the company). I still roll my eyes at the time I got corrected when I referred to the person who assigned me work and evaluated it as my “supervisor”. I was loudly told that this person was actually my MENTOR. Just weird.

      Reply ↓
    6. Yes And*

      The bird’s eye view of my medium-sized nonprofit is clear and rational: two co-equal executives oversee seven departments. Each department has a mostly clearly delineated and intuitive portfolio of responsibilities, and each executive has primary oversight of about half the departments. So far, so good.

      It’s within the departments that things get weird. Some departments have a rational structure and some do not. Managers who don’t manage anything but were granted a fancier title, people whose line of report to the department head is unclear, and a couple of functions that are just in the wrong department as a legacy of someone who used to have that job. (That last one will actually be cleaned up in the new fiscal year.)

      It’s the old story of an organization that shaped itself around the people it had when it was small, and took a while to catch up to the necessities of growth. Fortunately the ED also sees it that way, and we’re on the right track to fixing it.

      Reply ↓
    7. Wordybird*

      I work for a small company (about 150 employees), and we have a dozen VPs including multiple VPs in the same department. I think that’s silly but I also suspect it’s their way of not paying people as much when they’re promoted (“But you’re a VP now!”). Directors, of which there are several, and VPs seem to be at the same level but some supervise people and some do not and sometimes they report to one another.

      Reply ↓
    8. Parakeet*

      Mine is pretty straightfoward, I think. We have CEO -> Vice Presidents -> some Assistant Vice Presidents -> Directors -> Project Managers, specialists, and coordinators

      Reply ↓
  23. Art3mis*

    My “official” title is “Teapot Support Specialist” which implies, correctly, that I work in a call center. I hate working in a call center and if the words “call center” had been in the job description or mentioned in the interview, I never would have applied or accepted this job. But I’ve been here long enough that I can’t leave it off my resume or LinkedIn. So can I use a different title so that recruiters aren’t contacting me about other customer service or call center jobs?

    Reply ↓
    1. Everneverbe*

      I wouldn’t fudge the title – probably just need to ignore the call center recruiters or politely turn them down (assuming you don’t want to just set your LinkedIn to Not Looking mode or whatever it is).

      Reply ↓
    2. ecnaseener*

      You can try, but IME, there will always be recruiters spamming anyone who has a vaguely related keyword anywhere on their LinkedIn. (I once had an agonizing back-and-forth with a recruiter who saw “administrator” in my job title and insisted that meant I was a match for his “administrator” opening and wouldn’t give any further details…)

      Why can’t you leave this position off your LinkedIn, though, if you don’t want recruiters to factor it in at all? LinkedIn doesn’t have to match your resume.

      Reply ↓
      1. Art3mis*

        I’ve been here a year and a half. Partially due to a cancer diagnosis, I couldn’t/can’t leave until treatment is done. So it’s long enough that I’d have a big gap. And FWIW I interviewed for a different role, which is also call center but had a different title, so that’s why I didn’t catch the “Support” thing myself.

        Reply ↓
        2. Cookie Monster*

          Sorry, but I disagree with ecnaseener. Alison has answered questions like this before – you cannot lie about your title (which, I’m sorry to say, is what this would be – a lie). If a job prospect calls to verify what’s on your resume and they find that the job titles don’t match, that’s going to be a big red flag against you that they can’t trust you.

          Reply ↓
    3. MSD*

      Maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t assume that title meant call center work. I worked in IT and a support specialist could be all sorts of things not related to a call center.

      Reply ↓
    4. Charlotte Lucas*

      I worked in a call center over 20 years ago and still get those messages. (I later trained call center reps, so it’s still referenced in my resume.)

      Just delete the messages. People hiring for call centers are desperate. On the other hand, it means you have some great soft skills to add to your resume.

      Reply ↓
  24. JustaTech*

    Does anyone have a technical writing class that they would recommend?

    I work in biotech and my department writes a lot of reports. Some of these are like scientific papers, and we’re pretty good at those, but we have a bunch of newer types of shorter reports that we’re not as good or fast at yet.
    My company has had writing instructors come in and lead classes in the past, and we were supposed to have one in 2020, but that didn’t happen.
    It doesn’t have to be in person, but we do want it to be live so that it can be specific to us and our reports.

    Thanks!

    Reply ↓
    1. SofiaDeo*

      I took “Scientific and Technical Writing” from a local branch of a state university. At that time, you didn’t have to jump through hoops if you weren’t applying for a specific degree, just wanted to take a few classes. There may be online colleges that would allow this, you can ask. If it allows people to work at their own pace, so much the better.

      I’m not sure why, or if, someone coming in “live” might be the best idea. People often are at different levels, some think & write slower than others, and a course instructor often needs more than 1 writing example to identify continuing problems. Letting people learn at their own pace is less stressful IMO.

      Reply ↓
    2. Mockingjay*

      Templates might be a better bet, in the short run.

      There are loads of good scientific writing manuals for big reports – ANSI, etc., providing outlines and content requirements, and as mentioned by other, most local colleges offer tech writing courses and certs.

      But the small docs tend to trip people up. People often overwrite because they only have “big, important” reports as samples. Pull a few good short documents, sort them by type or use, and use the section and subsection headers to create a standard outline for each kind. Post in a central file location for all to use. You can even create fill-in-the-blank forms for routine items. You’ll get consistent presentations and you can focus on filling in accurate details quickly.

      Reply ↓
      1. JustaTech*

        The issue is that while we have templates we really need the people writing those reports to be thinking critically bout what they’re writing (does it make sense, is it the right amount of information, do their verb tenses match), and when folks use the templates they have a tendency to slide into copy-paste until it doesn’t actually make any sense at all.

        Also, some of these reports need to have 2 sections and some need to have 8, and we need folks to think about when they need 2 versus when they need 8, and most of all, write the logical progression clearly.

        We’ve got a lot of reports where it’s “because A, then F” and we need to explain A then B then C then D then E then F, but in a concise way and not just spew A-Z in every report.

        So what we need is for people to be better writers, hence a class. And I think that writing well is one of those skills that is useful to most any job.

        Reply ↓
        1. Mockingjay*

          Okay, I see what you’re getting at. A class would be better. There are a few things you can do right now.

          Separate the writing and editing steps. Provide a problem statement for the draft to scope it (literally what you stated above: “explain A, then B, and provide conclusion C”). Get the draft done, have a second person look at the content to ensure it’s adequate/valid. Clean up grammar and format last. If you try to do everything at once, you’ll focus on the wrong/less important details. This should help for now.

          Reply ↓
        2. Charming Kitten*

          Talk to your local community college. They may be able to set you up with an instructor or even arrange to provide the class for you.

          Another option would be to search LinkedIn or somewhere else online for “[name of industry] technical writer” and see if there’s someone who has specific expertise who’d be willing to put on a class for you.

          Reply ↓
    3. TechWritingByCommittee*

      I’m a tech writer who has taught scientists and programmers to write technical documentation of various sorts and also acted as an editor to such groups. One thing to realize is that it is a skill and not everyone will find it easy to learn (or be interested). Many people will never write comprehensible stuff or pick up how to improve their drafts even if you show them the same thing a dozen times because writing just isn’t important to them. If you’re in an environment where the quality matters, you may be better off hiring actual technical writers with a background in your field. At a minimum, I would strongly consider an editor (who could also help others learn).

      Reply ↓
  25. Disappointed!*

    Ugh. Just found out the promotion I was planning on has been rescinded because of the reduction in indirect costs for NIH grants. Boo! I blame President Musk.

    Reply ↓
    1. JustaTech*

      I’m sorry, that sucks.
      I’m still trying to figure out where all this “saved money” is actually supposed to go…
      Not in any scientists’ pockets, that’s for sure.

      Reply ↓
      1. Kay*

        I’ll help with that – there are some great tax benefits (if you are in the 1%) set to expire and they need money to continue funding them!

        Reply ↓
      2. Starbuck*

        It’s to (only partially) fund their tax cuts for the ultra wealthy individuals and corporations, of course. Workers aren’t going to see any of it.

        Reply ↓
      1. Disappointed!*

        I’m guessing our rate will still come down to somewhere in between where it is now and the 15% that the administration wants. And that puts all sorts of financial restraints on how money is spent. I’m thankful I still have a job though, lots of people in the federal government are feeling this pinch way worse than I am. Just really disappointing.

        Reply ↓
      2. Not a Vorpatril*

        Not guaranteed, and the amount of concerns that the grant-receiving places, particularly where it was not argued against (only 22 states pushed back), caused many institutions to simply start trimming staff heavily. My spouse is losing their job in two months, regardless of the outcome of the multiple grants that they’ve put in for, because of this crap.

        Reply ↓
  26. Qwerty*

    I’m looking for free or low cost resources for learning how to be a board member, both for companies and non-profits. I’d love to start with something really basic like “Board Members for Dummies” and work up to the more advanced items. BoardLearn isn’t working so I’m coming up with an alternate plan (not sure if it is a site issue or my account because they are non-responsive).

    I am not on any boards yet, but I’ve been asked to temporarily join one for a non-profit that is basically a networking group in my industry and there are some swift approaching opportunities for tech startups but only if I get myself trained ASAP.

    Assume zero help from anyone I know or have access to and that I’m doing this on my own, hence why I’m turning to the internet. Not going to get into the reasons here.

    Reply ↓
    3. Semi Retired*

      Book “Policy vs Paper Clips”. Helps clarify the role of the Board and how to prevent getting bogged down in the day-to-day.

      Reply ↓
    4. TCO*

      Check out The Non Profit Times or your state’s local council of nonprofits for trainings. Nonprofit and corporate boards can be so different that I wouldn’t expect full crossover between those two for training purposes.

      Reply ↓
    5. Ann Gaasch*

      Hi, thank you for considering board services. It is so important.
      Look at BoardLead for some great information. Also Propel for Nonprofits has some great resources.

      Reply ↓
  27. Allura Vysoren*

    I’m looking for commiseration/reassurance.

    I work for a small company owned by a much larger corporation with a number of subsidiaries. It was announced a few weeks ago that my company will be integrated into a larger company and everything is filled with uncertainty. I jumped ship from my last job because of a merger (a year later, they laid off almost everyone at my old office) and the messaging around this integration gives me deja vu. I’m putting out feelers just in case, but the job market is BRUTAL out there. I don’t want to look for another job, but I’m the sole breadwinner of the family and I can’t afford to lose it just because another company didn’t feel like building a new brand from the ground up.

    Stories of integrations that didn’t result in everyone losing their livelihoods are very welcome.

    Reply ↓
    1. bananners*

      I recently worked with a small company (~10 employees) that was integrated with a larger company but still retained their branding (sounds similar to what you’re talking about). They LOVED the experience. They still have their small team, but have access to shared resources for payroll, HR, etc. and a much larger benefits pool. The large company also provides additional benefits they never would have been able to access before (on-site daycare, fitness, etc). TBH, I’m considering contacting them to let me know if a position opens up there…

      Reply ↓
      1. Allura Vysoren*

        The vibes indicate that isn’t likely to be the case here. They’ve already hired someone to oversee the new brand direction and my boss has told me straight-up that the most likely scenarios are we’re going to get hired into the new company or we’re going to be let go.

        Reply ↓
    2. Database Queery*

      This may only be partially relevant, but I work for a medium-sized manufacturer that owns some factories. We bought a major competitor (roughly half our size) when their primary customer went out of business and they were at risk of closing. The process of integrating the two businesses has been complex and difficult but almost everyone kept their jobs – my company is almost doubling our local manufacturing capacity and we benefited a LOT from having long-term employees on staff at the new facility who knew the intricacies of their specific building and equipment. It’s been tough at times but I’m thankful for the commitment they’ve shown to both sets of workers.

      Reply ↓
    3. Spreadsheet Queen*

      I’ve been through multiple mergers and acquisitions, and they are definitely uncomfortable. And no matter how “well done”, there is always uncertainty and more than a little chaos. I’ve seen the biggest risk in overlapping business functions (e.g. you don’t need multiple accounting departments, multiple PR departments, multiple HR departments, etc.) but overall I did not see a lot of lay-offs in these functions because:
      For continuity, there generally is going to have to be a period of overlap. It takes time to transfer records to new systems, you generally don’t make big changes until you head into a new fiscal year anyway (benefits and such), it takes time to novate contracts, etc. etc. Some people will leave on their own during this time.
      Then you’re often going to have other appropriate openings. Sometimes people will move to a new department that utilizes their skills or they’ll get new skills – I’ve seen people move from accounting into project control (the budget and cost tracking side of project management), from project control into subcontract management or proposal pricing, admin into facility security and purchasing, contracts into proposals, etc – good companies will identify the good people they want to retain and try to find a way.
      Obviously, YMMV. It’s a good time to update your resume and look around regardless. A lot of times, we don’t look because it’s “the devil you know” vs “the devil you don’t know”. During/after a merger/acquisition, it’s “this devil you don’t know” vs “this other devil you don’t know”. So we have more of a catalyst to consider change, even if our jobs are safe and our benefits aren’t changing measurably at the current place. Good luck!

      Reply ↓
      1. Allura Vysoren*

        Thanks! My resume is updated and I am looking, but the market is bleak. The only positive in all the uncertainty is that our benefits come from our corporate overlords so those won’t change regardless of how internal processes shake out.

        Reply ↓
    4. Hillary*

      I used to work for a manufacturing conglomerate. I worked at corporate and supported businesses worldwide. You didn’t say what you do, apologies this is pretty general.

      When we did an acquisition, benefits and safety were day one. Everyone moved onto our (generally much better because larger employee pool) benefits and any safety concerns were immediately addressed. Integration came later and more slowly, but in general the only affected roles were very senior (former owner), natural attrition, or transfers. It was common for their good employees to move into similar roles in other parts of the company and folks from acquired businesses frequently ended up in charge.

      Reply ↓
  28. Nicki Name*

    For those who miss Good News Fridays, how about a good news thread? I have something to share that I can come back and post in a bit.

    Reply ↓
    1. Nicki Name*

      I’m moving to a new team within the same company as my old one. The new team has some big challenges coming this year, but I’m excited to tackle them and the last couple weeks have been one moment after another of gratitude for what I don’t have to deal with anymore. I will never again have to listen to that one guy take up 90 minutes of a 60-minute meeting! No more flailing through the increasingly chaotic release process! No more dealing with the person who keeps breaking into discussions with complete non sequiturs! So many things that are not my problem anymore!

      Reply ↓
    3. ghostlight*

      I’ve been job searching for over a year and am putting in my notice at my current job today! Moving on to a job that’s an 20% increase in pay and I’ll never have to work a weekend or an evening. I am so looking forward to leaving my current job!

      Reply ↓
    5. Charming Kitten*

      I’m 1 month into my new job and I love it so, so much. Everyone is super nice to me, I’m doing work I enjoy and do well, and I’m leaning into a firehose of new learning from some of the top people in my field.

      Reply ↓
    6. ImHereForTheUpdates*

      i’ve been with my company for over 20 years. people have come and go but we are a good team and get along well. every once in a while, somebody will see something (usually food related) and bring it for me. they are out and about in their off work life and still think of me occasionally when they see something that i might like. it warms my heart and makes me feel appreciated as a person within my work place.

      Reply ↓
    7. A Teacher*

      I got an excellent on my summative year teaching evaluation.

      That means that next year I don’t have to be formally evaluated.

      Oh, and I live in Illinois and my governor is doing his best to stand up to all things vile going on.

      Reply ↓
    8. some dude*

      A year after a cancer diagnosis, lumpectomy, radiation, and a lot of medication, my wife’s mammogram came back negative for cancer.

      Reply ↓
    9. GreySuit (they/them)*

      I found out my company reimburses $7.5k of college expenses per year- including textbooks and registration fees. I never finished my Associate’s, but school, here I come!

      Reply ↓
    10. DTC*

      Got to catch up with a coworker I’m friends with who I hadn’t seen in a couple weeks (not unusual). It came out that we both have to come in for a few hours over the weekend, so we’re going to hang out in the park together afterwards if the weather stays pleasant

      Reply ↓
  29. JustaTech*

    Real talk for all the scientists: do we think conferences are still actually going to happen this year in the US?
    Or are all the academic folks going to have to cancel because they’ve lost grant money (or travel stipends out of their grant money), and the feds can’t come because they’re either not allowed to talk or they’ve been fired, so it will just be industry folks milling around?

    So far none of the big medical conferences my company goes to have been canceled (and I would think they would be last), but I’m trying to figure out how invested I should get in conferences in the fall if they’re going to be missing a third of the usual participants.

    Reply ↓
    1. Elle*

      This has been a big topic in my public health org. Conferences are going forward. I just got a few invites this week. We’re moving forward with ours because we haven’t been told otherwise. That being said I don’t know what registration looks like. I’m surprised some of these haven’t gone virtual.

      Reply ↓
    2. Dinwar*

      The official stance of the Geologic Society of America is that wars are political, and GSA isn’t getting involved in politics. I imagine they’ll have their conference regardless of funding; a group that is willing to be taken prisoner for espionage (it’s happened) isn’t going to let something like this stop them from getting together.

      I imagine that things will change, though. Fewer people attending, more focus on regional meetings (easier to travel to and afford), that sort of thing.

      Reply ↓
      1. DTC*

        they’re turning the frogs gay!

        but also, I get the sense that the People In Power aren’t too fond of conservation either so could just be that :/

        Reply ↓
    4. Anon here*

      I’m not a scientist, but I work in a research adjacent field with a heavy fed presence. As of now, we’re still planning on a conference but it’s looking somewhat dicey, and I imagine it’s at best going to be very pared back in terms of attendance and presenters. Sort of the least of the current issues but I’m a little bummed.

      Reply ↓
    5. Disappointed!*

      Travel will be harder going forward, I think, for grant-funded people. At my university the PI gets 10% of indirects into their own account for purchasing items that cannot be bought on a grant (computers, lab coats, soap, travel to meetings – all prohibited unless that specific grant allows one of those types of items). Today we were given a directive to stop purchasing from those accounts, and no money will be put into them going forward until things are figured out. So I would love to go to a meeting this year, but I don’t know how we would pay for it.

      Reply ↓
    7. StillHappening*

      I just attended an annual health equity conference. The conference was renamed but didn’t change the programming. There was a session to talk about the current environment.

      Reply ↓
  30. Amber Rose*

    There’s a company location with much drama. The manager just walked off the job one day quite a while ago, and they’ve only just now posted an ad to replace her. In the meantime, they promoted a seriously problematic person to temporary manager. The generic company emails received a furious rant from one of the employees there early this week about how there’s been no communication, there’s barely any management, the temp is awful, and massive safety issues are going completely ignored.

    I can’t speak to a lot of that. That’s all HR. But I can speak to safety issues, and so I had a fairly lengthy back and forth with that person about what to do in future if unsafe things are not being addressed and what their legal rights are. At the end of that exchange I found out that nobody had responded to this guy except me.

    Now I’m getting passive aggressive emails about how training up there is lacking, like they’ve forgotten I’m not even out of my three months and how am I supposed to fix an entire company’s garbage training system in the equivalent of five minutes? I guess I’m offering the bad kind of training (worker’s rights) as opposed to the good kind (the company is right)? I want to respond but I can’t think of any wording that isn’t ragey so I just haven’t said anything.

    Look, I know the answer is leave and if it were that easy I’d ghost. But right now I’m stuck. I don’t know what else to do except ignore the nonsense.

    Reply ↓
    2. Teal Tshirt*

      Well done on helping them learn their rights! The training program might be a way for you to specialize/ document skills.

      Reply ↓
  31. Strange the Librarian*

    I’m 100% over-thinking this, but I’d appreciate any outside opinions. My SIL’s new long-distance gf (they met, started dating and then the gf moved to my state) is in my niche-ish field. I haven’t met her yet since 1) the relationship is so new (definitely not in the meet-the family stage) and 2) my SIL lives far away so there also hasn’t been an opportunity for a double-date with them and my husband. We have a local conference coming up in the spring where there’s a SOLID chance this woman will be. I feel like I can’t actively avoid her bc that would be rude (I also don’t know what she looks like.) There’s a huge chance we’d run into each other either in sessions or the social stuff (my boss and coworkers are highly social so we get roped into allll the extracurriculars. AND the gf is coworkers with a good friend of mine.) How should I handle this to 1) respect *her* work/life boundaries and 2) respect my SIL’s personal boundaries? (Adding in that there’s also a chance they might be broken up by spring. OR I might have already met her, rendering my overthinking everything moot.)

    Reply ↓
    2. NotaMac*

      How about you message your sister the week before and say ‘hey, just relaxed maybe GF will be at the conference next week – please let her know I’d love to say hi!’. Then leave it to them. It’s not all on you.

      Reply ↓
    3. Iusemymiddlename*

      Just before the conference, ask your SIL whether she wants you to introduce yourself to the gf as a SIL. If not, and you happen to meet gf at the conference, just treat her as you would any other conference colleague.

      Reply ↓
    4. TheGirlintheAfternoon*

      If they’re still dating around the time of the conference, tell SIL that you think you’ll probably see her GF at the conference because one of her coworkers is a good friend of yours and that you would love to say hi or grab a cup of coffee if GF is open to that – but that you totally understand she’s there for work and may not be able to hang out in a non-professional capacity.

      This gives SIL the chance to say she’s not comfortable with that, if she isn’t. It gives GF a plausible out if she doesn’t want to/can’t meet up. And if establishes you as a low-anxiety contact for GF if she does want to meet up.

      Reply ↓
    5. Tio*

      This is a lot of overthinking to me – I would just treat her like any other colleague, with maybe a “Oh if you’d like to hang out for dinner after the conference it would be nice to get to know you a little better! If you’re busy totally understandable!” And then she will choose to get together with you or not. And if you do have dinner and they break up later, oh well, she’ll just be a colleague you know a little better than others.

      Reply ↓
    6. Hillary*

      You’re definitely overthinking it. :-) My favorite phrase for this is “we know each other socially.” It helps folks understand the lack of professional relationship but also warns them there is a connection.

      Since you have so many connections in common, I’d check in with your SIL a couple weeks before the conference (if you haven’t met SIL’s GF by then), check if GF is going to the conference, and ask SIL to introduce you virtually, help set up a coffee, whatever. Essentially treat it just like you would for a friend-of-a-friend in your field to get potential awkwardness out of the way.

      Reply ↓
    7. Hyaline*

      I guess I don’t understand how there’s a violation of boundaries here? Regarding the GF, let her lead on “how I know Strange” if it comes up, or just say “we’re friends with some of the same people” (you in fact, are! Your coworker!) As for your SIL, there don’t seem to be any risk of violating boundaries with her either? You’d be…running into a person who works in your field, at a conference for that field, and possibly socializing in conjunction with that conference…that all seems normal? And not weird? You even already know the same people! You’re not like…calling her to meet up just because you’re in town or trying to finagle extra time with her when you wouldn’t ordinarily see her. If your SIL would be weirded out by normal convention dynamics, she’s being weird, not the situation. Seriously, the only appropriate response from SIL is “LOL small world!” not getting upset that her “boundaries” were violated by a workplace event. Don’t sweat it!

      Reply ↓
    8. RagingADHD*

      Ask your SIL to mention to the gf that you are good friends with the coworker, and if gf is going to the conference, you’d love to meet up.

      Ball’s in their court.

      Reply ↓
  32. Nice cup of tea*

    Driving has to be done. Rest is important. Don’t overthink it. As long as you average out to getting enough done over a week or whatever its fine.

    Reply ↓
  33. cactus lady*

    Americans – has anyone had luck finding a remote job that will let them live abroad? I am finding a lot of remote-anywhere in the US type jobs, but I specifically want to move abroad. I am thinking this is one of those things that should wait until the offer stage – but should it? Is it a waste of my time and theirs if I interview knowing I wouldn’t take it if it required living in the US?

    Reply ↓
    1. Sneaky Squirrel*

      I would say that given that many companies don’t want to deal with employment laws, tax implications, and visa needs in other countries, you would be wasting your time if you waited until the offer stage, yes.

      Reply ↓
      1. Antilles*

        I agree.
        I would also say that because of all those things, you should be focusing your search on companies which already *have* a presence in your chosen country. There’s a huge upfront investment of effort, hassle, and money for a company to starting up new operations in a country – far more than can be justified for a single new hire. But if they already have a branch in the country, then it’s more viable.

        Reply ↓
      2. Ama*

        Yeah unless you’re working for a multinational company in one of the places they are already set up to operate it’s a lot of expense for a company to have just one worker in a specific country. If you were willing to work freelance you might have more luck. I had a part time report who was a military spouse and when her husband was stationed in Germany we had to reclassify her as a contractor and couldn’t pay her directly through payroll. (Since she was part-time she didn’t receive benefits anyway so it didn’t affect her too much other than having to submit invoices instead of time sheets.)

        Reply ↓
    2. Tio*

      Living in another *country* is such a dealbreaker and so unlikely to be allowed that I would definitely bring it up immediately. You are not likely to find a lot of companies willing to have an abroad employee outside of whatever structures they may already have (such as expat workers at one of their other global HQs, like my company does)

      Reply ↓
    3. Strive to Excel*

      International tax law and regulations make the interstate nexus and locus ones look like middle school makework by comparison, and that’s before you add remote work into the mix. It’s not technically impossible but I wouldn’t consider it a more viable strategy than moving abroad and finding a job on location.

      Reply ↓
    4. spcepickle*

      I also think it is waste of time to wait till the offer stage, because in addition to what Sneaky Squirrel said there are all kinds of IT security risks that get complicated with having a remote worker internationally. If abroad means Europe or Asia there are the time zone complications so you either need truly asynchronistic work or you are going to have to have a difficult schedule. All that said I live in Washington state and if you wanted to live and work in Canada nobody would notice or care (expect for Canada from whom you would need to get all the visas and whatnot from)
      A different way to move abroad is to apply for jobs with big multi national firms that are hiring Americans and then helping them move abroad. My friend in finance is working on this, she has been applying to firms like coca-cola and big banks. She has done a ton a research and while you need to be a strong candidate there are good opportunities.

      Reply ↓
    5. Tater tots*

      It would definitely be a waste of everyone’s time if living abroad is a must-have for you and you don’t bring it up until the offer stage.

      A friend of mine is trying to do this and it’s a huge challenge. She’s approaching it by looking at fully remote contractor positions and being up-front during initial screenings that she will be moving to Europe, and she specifies the country, in the next few months. So far, she’s still looking, but if there are remote contractor positions in your field, that might be the approach to take.

      Reply ↓
      1. Tio*

        If Cactus does go through with this, I would say after you move ensure you get very good accountants in both countries, as a lot of them will require you to pay taxes in both. (Although it doesn’t sound to me like Cactus wants contractor/freelance work, but I could be wrong)

        Reply ↓
        1. cactus lady*

          I think it depends! I’d be open to either but the security of employment is more appealing to me if I had a choice. I have friends working contracts and friends who are employed. (My friend group has mostly migrated to one spot abroad, I’m one of the last ones still in the US.) However, all of them who are employed negotiated to work abroad during the Great Resignation and I know it’s much harder now.

          Reply ↓
    7. Hillary*

      Short answer, offer stage is way too late. This is going to be a dealbreaker for many companies.

      Longer answer, it depends. Will you need visa sponsorship? Sponsorship is difficult and expensive in most countries, in my experience it’s rare for companies to offer it to new hires if not explicitly listed. I’ve only ever seen it done for valued employee transfers. Do they have a legal entity and employees in your target country (both are important, it’s common to have an entity for sales purposes that doesn’t have employees)?

      If you don’t need sponsorship and they have an entity/employees, it turns into the practical questions. Are the time zones workable? Are there any IT/data security concerns?

      Reply ↓
        1. Generic Name*

          Dumb question, then why not look for a job (remote??) in your new country? I assume by not needing sponsorship it means you are a citizen or at least otherwise authorized to work there? Why the need for working for a US company?

          Reply ↓
            1. Starbuck*

              Yea, lots of people would love to port their US salaries to a lower cost of living country abroad. The point is explicitly to not have to work for local wages. Some countries have digital nomad visas; otherwise you’re going to have to go through whatever the immigration process is which – good luck!

              Reply ↓
    8. Medium Sized Manager*

      I work for an American company while living in Canada – it took several layers of approvals, tax law, and other issues that I would be surprised if you found anything off the jump. I have had people try to do it before and after me at the same company, and they were denied because they did not meet a threshold of potential replacement value.

      Reply ↓
    9. Chauncy Gardener*

      I can’t imagine a US company without a current presence in whichever country you’d like to move to allowing that. The tax and financial ramifications are epically bad for the US company. There is literally zero reason they should or would allow that.

      Reply ↓
    10. Glomarization, Esq.*

      It’s not clear to me whether you have legal authorization from the non-U.S. country to work while residing in the non-U.S. country. You cannot work abroad if you don’t have a work permit or digital nomad visa or citizenship or some other legal means to perform work while you are outside the U.S. Whether the U.S. company will allow you work abroad is almost irrelevant.

      Reply ↓
      1. cactus lady*

        Yes I am aware! I am qualified for a work visa in this country but I don’t want to move without a job. I would prefer to work a US job and hopefully keep east coast hours.

        Reply ↓
  34. Not A Manager*

    Yesterday one of the suggested links was “I now manage the guy who hired me — and I’m afraid he might quit over it.” I’m completely in love with Tom in that letter and the two updates. What an amazing example of class and grace!

    Reply ↓
  35. Anonymouse*

    I’m beginning a job hunt, and am trying to figure out how to fit interviews around my job’s newly-instituted PTO policy. Sick leave and PTO are all one pool, and accumulate throughout the year. To take scheduled PTO, we need to give 2 weeks notice. If we give less than 2 weeks, it’s considered unscheduled, and we need to provide a doctor’s note. If we take more than 3 unscheduled days in 3 months or 6 in a year without providing doctor’s notes, we’re subject to disciplinary action. Flex time (starting late or leaving early) is technically allowed, but my manager has said that it would be best to give 2 weeks notice for that as well, and that they can be flexible but “I can’t imagine you’ll have many appointments that are scheduled less than 2 weeks in advance.” I have a 30 minute lunch break and cannot exceed that time window.

    So …. how am I supposed to schedule interviews? In my last job hunt, I had about an interview or two a month for 6 months, and often got to a 3rd or 4th interview before being rejected, so I don’t want to take my chances on unscheduled PTO without a doctor’s note.

    Side note: at the end of March I’m eligible for FMLA due to a chronic health condition, and once my FMLA is approved I will be able to take unscheduled PTO without a doctor’s note. but obviously this is meant to be used for sick days, and I’d prefer not to take a full PTO day whenever I have an interview

    Reply ↓
    1. Anonymouse*

      Secondary question, more out of curiosity. Is this new PTO policy actually legal? My gut instinct is “legal but a dick move”, but it’s really a very onerous requirement for me and my fellow chronically ill and/or disabled coworkers. We’re a nonprofit with 100-200 employees in NY state. And yes, the new policy is a large part of why I’m job hunting.

      Reply ↓
      1. Nina from Corporate Accounts Payable.*

        My brother works for a company with a few thousand employees that has always had a similar policy with locations in several states. My brother’s role is coverage-based, but I believe he mentioned the advanced notification for PTO is also applicable to non-coverage based roles as well. So seems to be legal, but dickish and ridiculous because sometimes life happens.

        Reply ↓
    2. Reba*

      I’d go back to your boss and explain you agree with her saying you won’t have “many” appointments that come up without 2 weeks notice, but you will have “some.” I would explain that you may have urgent appointments that are difficult to schedule, and you will need to take them when they come up. Let it be implied that they are medical or whatever, or say something like “I am dealing with a family situation.”

      If you have a coverage based role you could make a plan for the unscheduled leave with coworkers so you can say to your boss that there is a solution for that.

      This policy is bananas, I’m sorry you have to deal with it.

      Reply ↓
      1. Anonymouse*

        I do not have a coverage-based role, and I spend about half of every work day with nothing to do so I’m not too concerned about keeping up with workload either. Thanks!

        Reply ↓
    3. Kay*

      Good lord this is ridiculous and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. I would probably try to deploy a few different strategies – feeling ill in the middle of the day and needing to leave early one day, a repair guy another – for the flooding that randomly occurred another. Do you have a pet that needs emergency surgery? (And can you create a fake invoice in Word since I’m sure they will be asking for that along with your “pets” medical records? Ugh, sigh)

      Reply ↓
    4. Kay*

      I’m not sure where my other comment went but it was basically – can you come up with a few different reasons and deploy them intermittently? You aren’t feeling well part way through one day and need to go home, a house/pet/family/car emergency for others with creative uses of Word if they need to see how much you had to pay for Fluffy? I usually wouldn’t advocate for such tactics (re documents) in the workplace but this policy is so bonkers I think this gets a pass.

      Reply ↓
      1. Anonymouse*

        Once I reach my FMLA availability, I can definitely go home “sick” partway through the day or go in late, but before then we need 2 hours notice and a sick note. I’d also prefer not to directly lie as I would like to be able to use this job as a reference (it’s my second full time job so I don’t have a ton of reference options). I have had continuous migraine symptoms since December so I can get a legit sick note through our insurance’s virtual appointment service if push comes to shove, but until April it would have to be a full day off.

        Reply ↓
        1. Analytical Tree Hugger*

          “we need 2 hours notice and a sick note.”

          Not targeted at OP at all, but…

          What.

          “Oh, yeah, I’m vomiting and making friends with the porcelain, but gotta stick it out for two hours before I can leave.”

          “Migraine attack means I’ve literally crawled into the supply closet to hide from the light searing my brain pain, but it’s fine, I’ll just wait two hours.”

          “Oops, I’m bleeding, but it’s fine, I’ll just McGyver a tourniquet with tape and old memos for the next two hours.”

          Sheesh, your company is out of touch…

          Sorry, I know this isn’t helpful.

          Reply ↓
    5. Zephy*

      It’s not ideal, but at least for phone screens/virtual interviews, could you take calls of that nature from your car? Like, since your position isn’t coverage based, would it be reasonable for you to just be away from your desk for a bit while you “deal with an ongoing family situation”? Your “family member” having the “situation” is in a very faraway timezone, Hawaii or the opposite coast or what have you, hence the calling during business-hours-for-you.

      You can never predict how long a job search will take, so even if you start putting in applications now, there’s no guarantee you’d even need the subterfuge before your FMLA kicks in – that’s going to be your best cover option, I think. I get not wanting to burn the bridge, and actually having a legit medical need for the leave anyway, but it’s also not illegal to job-search on FMLA. So. Do what you gotta.

      Reply ↓
      1. Anonymouse*

        I’m an hourly employee, so if I leave the building I have to clock out. I can ask my manager, but HR is checking people’s hours and will definitely see I’ve clocked out/want an explanation. I’ve unfortunately already kind of put a target on my back by asking for flexibility on the 2 hours notice and doctors note policies

        Reply ↓
    6. JustaTech*

      Can you try to schedule interviews for very early morning or at the end of the day and then take them from your car (preferably in a different parking lot)?
      Some (not all) interviewers understand that you still have a day job and can’t just pop out for an hour at 10am or whatever. I’ve had reasonable success with that, especially for things like phone screens.

      Good luck! (And this policy is bonkers.)

      Reply ↓
      1. Anonymouse*

        I’m definitely going to try, but our hours are 8-4 and if we arrive at 8:01 or leave at 3:59 well be penalized. (This is also in the updated policy, and my boss has told me that they’re being made by HR to enforce it .)

        Reply ↓
        2. JustaTech*

          Ugh with the so picky about hours, but hey, 8-4 leaves more time than you’d think for interviews, especially if people are willing to work a little bit late so you can interview at 5 or 5:30. Maybe not for in-person, but more likely for things like phone screens or Zoom meetings.

          Reply ↓
    7. Starbuck*

      “If we give less than 2 weeks, it’s considered unscheduled, and we need to provide a doctor’s note.”

      Boooo! What is one supposed to do for any personal emergency that isn’t an illness? Like the plumber is coming or your kid is suspended from school or what have you. Sorry this is such a crap policy.

      Could your unscheduled FMLA time not be used for appointments? Sometimes those can happen/change dates with short notice ;)

      Reply ↓
      1. Anonymouse*

        That’s my hope! I just have to cross my fingers that no really great interviews come up before I’m eligible for FMLA

        Reply ↓
  36. Tradd*

    Forgot to post an update from a comment a couple of weeks ago about how friends of friends on FB had taken exception with my posts about the bad implementation of the new tariffs (I’m a customs broker and they have significantly complicated my workload). I got a call from the local CBP office from a long term contact. I was told they had gotten several calls complaining about my lack of support for the new administration. Contact told me they only called as we’ve dealt with each other for years. Contact was very surprised and we both had a laugh.

    Still amazed someone thought to try to get CBP yank my customs broker license over this. I’ve locked my social media down and really thinned out friends list. Still don’t know who on my friends list sent the posts to their friends.

    Reply ↓
    2. Tio*

      WOW

      Yeah you have some seriously bad friends hiding on your list. Who calls an agency to complain that someone is complaining about policies on social media??

      Half of me says that this is someone who’s in the industry, because if they weren’t, I find it hard to imagine they managed to navigate the horrible directory of customs to actually complain, but if it is… how do they not know how dumb this is?

      Reply ↓
      1. Tradd*

        I’m trying not to get political. The new administration’s unofficial online minions apparently know no boundaries. It’s easy enough to call the main number and leave a message. The only person on my friend’s list in the industry is a fellow broker and a good friend for years. He would not do this.

        Reply ↓
    3. WhenIsRetirement*

      There are public “DOGE” FB groups on FB that allegedly are looking up people’s profiles. I read an interview with someone who was let go this week who was told he was reported.

      Reply ↓
    4. RagingADHD*

      Nobody had to “send” your posts to anyone. If they reacted to your post, and it was set to Public or Friends of Friends, then everybody who was even tangentially connected to them would get shown what they reacted to.

      Reply ↓
  37. Zillah*

    I work at a US university, managing a department within our library. Most of my staff are graduate students, and they’re amazing. They’re also preparing to go on strike, which I fully support. My question is: how can I best support them as a supervisor? Personally, I’ll be contributing to their strike fund, etc., but I’m wondering what I can do in my role that won’t undermine them and will make clear how important their labor is. The strike push is public, so I’ve already told my boss that I won’t be hiring anyone to cover their responsibilities. Any other ideas?

    Reply ↓
    2. AnotherLibrarian*

      First off, you need to CYA a bit, because depending on your uni or union status, there might be rules about what you can or can not do. So, make sure you know your rights and situation. When our grad students struck, we weren’t allowed to say anything about it publicly, but several fully tenured professors shut down classes with signs explaining why. They were union and they had the backing of their union. I was not and was at higher risk.

      Bring coffee to picketers. Don’t cross the picket-line. The usual things I think. Donate to the strikefund (which I did). Allow them to make copies in your office (which I also did by reminding them they could use the copy machine for personal purposes, within reason, and then leaving the room so I never “saw” what was copied.)

      I wish them luck.

      Reply ↓
      1. NotaMac*

        Greet them on the picket line! You may have to cross it bc you are management / exempt, but showing that you value them personally and their right to withdraw their labour can be reassuring. Be careful though, bc your loyalty is legally with the employer and you must cover whatever duties you’re told to. When it ends, greet them with a welcome back sign and treats if you can. It made a big difference when my city staff walked out. Union members felt like they might be unpopular post strike so having management warmly greet them and give a bit of time to ease back in made a big difference.

        Reply ↓
        1. NotaMac*

          Also if you think someone is truly suffering financially, slip them a grocery gift card on the quiet if you can. And if you have the kind of relationship where you have their personal numbers, you can do quick ‘thinking of you’ check in. Don’t overdo it though bc in this situation you represent The Employer that they are in dispute with – you’ll have to be sensitive to whether this is welcome.

          Reply ↓
          1. Rusty Shackelford*

            I love this idea. I might prioritize the GCs over the donation to the strike fund, since it’s a way to directly impact your staff.

            Reply ↓
            1. Zillah*

              These are all such great ideas – thank you! Most staff here aren’t unionized, so we’re trying to be careful, but are starting to pool personal funds for the students if the strike happens. And the students know that I don’t pay any attention to what they may or may not be printing etc.

              Reply ↓
    3. Cynthia*

      Many years ago I lived in a city where the bus drivers went on strike for several weeks/months, and the anti-union people tried to claim that the city didn’t need to give into their demands because traffic hadn’t been significantly impacted. An ally in the city administration responded with detailing all of the money and effort that was going into keeping traffic flowing, and pointing out that the city couldn’t afford to keep it up forever. Maybe an opportunity like that will arise if your grad students are on strike long enough? Like you wouldn’t need to make a public statement, just emphasize to anti-union administrators all of the valuable work that isn’t getting done in your department without graduate employees and that you’re all trying your best to keep the lights on but administration really needs to settle the strike soon.

      Reply ↓
      1. DTC*

        this is such a good thing to do! my union’s voted to strike next week and I’m nervous that my role isn’t important enough to impact function/expense (the goal of striking!) and my absence will just hurt my reputation.

        Reply ↓
  38. Expensive Bones*

    Curious about accommodations for panic attacks. My manager’s behavior reminds me of my abusive ex – passive aggressive, manipulative, petty, shuts people down, etc. I can get through meetings that he’s not in just fine, but when he’s in the meeting, I have a panic attack. I’m working on getting a doctor and a diagnosis, but I don’t even know where to start with accommodations at work. Can I be moved to report to someone else on a different team?

    FWIW, my company went through a merger and I was placed on this team. I did not interview with him, or I would’ve run.

    Reply ↓
    1. AnotherLibrarian*

      Now a lawyer, but a person with panic attacks. My understanding is that accommodations are supposed to be interactive and reasonable. I don’t know if your employer would consider reporting to a new boss to be a reasonable accommodation.

      My accommodations are time off for therapy and the knowledge that sometimes I have to go home, because I cannot function at work, but my triggers are more amorphous than a single person.

      Reply ↓
        1. Expensive Bones*

          Appreciate the info. I figured the definition of “reasonable” would be the key in this situation. I’d really like to leave, but interviewing with panic attacks is pretty tough.

          Reply ↓
          1. AnotherLibrarian*

            Work is very triggering for me (in general) and since I have to work (because I have bills to pay), being in therapy, having lots of experience with how to calm myself down (breathing exercises), having meds when I need them, keeping up with my yoga routine, and feeling comfortable bailing when I know I can no longer function is part of the process of stabilizing my symptoms. I think of anxiety disorder as a chronic health condition and I have to manage it, just like someone with migraines has to manage them. I realize everyones’ situation is unique, but I would be wary of assuming reporting to a new boss is going to “fix” your symptoms. It’s been a life long thing for me. So, I guess what I’m saying is, I hope you’re in therapy and have a good support network.

            Reply ↓
  39. abca*

    I interviewed for a job and the interviewer mentioned how they had unlimited PTO and really encouraged people to use it, and that that can be tough because everyone is used to working so hard. It was brought as a positive thing. Unlimited PTO! And you may have heard it’s a scam but really we do encourage you to use it! But with all that encouraging people then take two whole weeks off. It wasn’t even the time off itself that made me doubt, but more the off handed “we have to force people to take time off because everyone loves working so hard” part. I currently have a job. How much of a red flag would this be for you?

    Reply ↓
    1. MsM*

      Eh, yellow flag, I think. Could be true, could be them protesting way too much, could be mixed messages from different sources. Will there be opportunities for you to talk to other employees and get their perspective on what the culture/work-life balance are like?

      Reply ↓
    2. Strive to Excel*

      Here’s what I’d want to know: are they having trouble getting people to use PTO? Or is one of their job requirements that people have to take two consecutive weeks of PTO during the year? The first one would be a yellow flag to me. Are people too busy, managers unsupportive, etc etc. The second one is a sadly uncommon anti-fraud tactic/way to keep a business healthy without relying on one person too much.

      Reply ↓
      1. Hannah Lee*

        Yeah, I remember the 2nd one from when I worked at a local bank. Certain positions HAD to take 2 weeks vacation so that someone else would be in the role long enough for any irregularities.

        Ironically, one of the departments that did NOT have to do that was the loan department, which several years later was found to be committing massive fraud involving senior bank officers, bank board members, and local property owners, construction firms, developers, appraisers in conspiring and committing massive fraud and other crimes involving over valuation, falsification of documents, conflicts of interest etc etc. Several bank executives, including the CEO, went to jail and many others involved had to pay massive fines to avoid jail time, and the bank went under.

        *when I’d worked there part-time while a teen in high school, I’d wondered about the ethics, legality of the CEO’s exec assistant flagging me down and giving me money from petty cash to go buy some scallops for the CEO at the local fish market. I was paid to do bank work and petty cash was for bank business … why is the CEO getting to use this for his personal benefit? Little did I know that was just the tip of the very big iceberg.

        Reply ↓
        1. Strive to Excel*

          Unfortunately, once you have several people working together in a fraud it becomes so much worse. Collusion is the biggest danger for anti-fraud controls. Your part-time teen self had the right idea.

          Reply ↓
      2. abca*

        It’s not about fraud, it was a “you know how it is with enthusiastic people who love their jobs”. I’ll try to find out more from people working there.

        Reply ↓
    3. A Book about Metals*

      I’d say the flag is not the unlimited PTO, it’s the “we have to force people to take time off because everyone loves working so hard”

      Reply ↓
      1. WellRed*

        That was the flag for me as well. Why aren’t people actually taking time off and what does that say about workload or culture?

        Reply ↓
    4. Hyaline*

      I don’t think there’s enough there for it to be a red flag, and the flag could mean so many different things that it’s hard to know if it’s an issue for you! It could be a “we have a toxic workplace where we claim to have unlimited PTO but good luck taking it, no one will cover your work and it’s hell to come back to” or “no really a lot of workaholics work here and it’s murder getting them to take time,” or “I’m trying to sell this place but I’m very bad at making jokes lol haha people love work more than vacation here!” or “Actually our boundaries are crap on work-life balance” etc. I’d keep my eyes and ears open but I wouldn’t be making any judgments from this comment alone.

      Reply ↓
    5. WantonSeedStitch*

      I would want to talk to people below the interviewer’s level about the PTO culture in the office if possible. See if they’re like “oh, yeah, we know we can and they always tell us to, but it never seems worth it because vacationing with a toddler is more stressful than work,” or “oh SURE we can take it. As long as we get all our work done. And they give us way more work than we can reasonably do.”

      Reply ↓
    6. tabloidtainted*

      You don’t have enough information to decide, really. For all we know, the interviewer said they encourage people to use PTO, and then didn’t want you to think it was a company where everyone was on vacation 24/7, so added the bit about how everyone is always working hard. People misspeak, explain things badly, etc.

      The best thing to do would be to discuss it further in another interview.

      Reply ↓
    7. Tammy 2*

      To me, this is an Enjolras-on-the-barricade level red flag.

      I don’t want to work with people who don’t want to take time off. I want to work with people who value work-life balance.

      I also want to know how much PTO my employer is willing to let me take and be able to roll it over/get paid out if I don’t use it all.

      Reply ↓
    8. MSD*

      So if people don’t take time off or at most just two weeks then I seriously doubt you’ll have unlimited PTO. What if you wanted go take 3 weeks off for vacation and then later another week for another vacation and then time off during the holidays. I bet that would be frowned upon because the culture is to not take time off. Frankly that is why standard vacation time off is better. If you have seniority for 4 weeks vacation then you can take it. I doubt most companies expect employees to take 4 weeks (or more) “unlimited” PTO.

      Reply ↓
  40. Blue Pen*

    My husband started a new job in December that he absolutely loves, taking to it like a fish in water. From what I hear him say, his manager/colleagues are raving about him. Everything is going well. A job one step above his just opened up, which encompasses mostly everything he’s doing now at maybe a slightly higher (but not advanced) level. He doesn’t see anything listed that he doesn’t already know how to do or couldn’t learn to do given the circumstances.

    His probationary period with his current position is up in March. Should he have a conversation with his manager about this new position, or would that be weird given that he’s only been on the team for a few months now? If so, what do you think he should say? I’m leaning toward him having that conversation, but I don’t know if that would backfire.

    FWIW, it would be working with the same team and there really shouldn’t be too much additional onboarding involved.

    Reply ↓
    1. SofiaDeo*

      Would the new position be under the same manager? If so, it seems a “I was wondering if the company would consider someone as new as me for this position” wouldn’t be out of line. If it’s a different manager, then this may or may not be OK to ask.

      Reply ↓
    2. 3 months*

      Does he, with 3 months knowledge, really know what this job actually would encompass?

      If my new colleague did this, it would probably sour my opinion of him and it would give me the impression he is constantly ready to jump ship as soon as a new opportunity arises.

      Reply ↓
      1. NotaMac*

        Eh, a colleague told me ‘a good manager wants employees who are thinking of their next job’ – bc it means they are trying hard to prove themselves. I think it can be phrase as ‘looking forward to moving up in this company’ not ‘oblivious to what I don’t know yet’.

        Reply ↓
        1. 3 months*

          OP’s husband got on board, learned about the company, people and procedures. He can be pleasant and quick to learn and very engaged, and still not proven himself.
          For example in my company, we work on projects that typically last between 6 and 12 months. With 3 months in, a new person barely would have started to work on their own and mainly giving support to other employees in existing projects. The husband might be in a different industry where it is easier to get results. But I’d find it difficult to ask for a promotion without having actual accomplishments.

          Reply ↓
    3. M2*

      He should talk to his manager. He should also read the employer’s policy.

      Where I work you need to be in your role one full year before any promotion. They recently went around that policy for one person who they promoted only 6 months after another promotion. It caused a lot of problems since the person wasn’t that good at their job and only got the first promotion because they had another job offer. The position needed to be filled, so they just promoted this person into it. It has caused a lot of issued with excellent employees wanting to leave.

      I personally don’t love the 1-year rule. I think it should be at a manager’s discretion, but I do understand why some companies have that policy.

      Reply ↓
    4. DTC*

      A way to open that conversation might be something like “I heard about the X position that’s open. From the description, it sounds like where I want to be next; could you tell me more about it?” or otherwise framing it as a career exploration/learning more about the company question to start with, and seeing how the manager reacts before moving to “do you think it would make sense for me to apply?”

      Reply ↓
  41. scrappy anon*

    My company is including a “total compensation statement” in our annual reviews for the first time. Has anyone else seen this at their company? Is this a new thing?

    I’ve never heard of this before, especially for current employees. And I have to admit, while it was presented as more transparency, it just made me grumpier about compensation issues.

    (For those wondering about what a total compensation statement is, it’s an outline of how much the company pays for things like insurance, benefits, retirement contributions, and so on, in addition to an employee’s take home pay.)

    Reply ↓
    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      My employer does this. It’s a good thing if you have amazing benefits that make up for less amazing pay… helps you see the whole picture.

      Reply ↓
    3. A Simple Narwhal*

      I get a benefits summary letter every year from my company that includes the breakdown of my total compensation but it’s never included in the review process. The real question is are they including it for an FYI or are they using it to say “see how much you actually get paid, you couldn’t possibly ask us for more, you actually get sooo much so you must be happy”?

      It seems like there are already issues with compensation so my thought is that even if it’s just your standard benefits summary and nothing more it doesn’t really matter, you’re just not happy with your job.

      Reply ↓
      1. MsM*

        Yeah, my job’s done this since I got here. I don’t use a lot of my benefits, so getting it is basically just a “cool; thanks.” If yours is just bringing up disgruntled thoughts, that’s probably a sign it’s time to look elsewhere.

        Reply ↓
      1. Educator*

        Yep, common in education.

        (Where they hope it will make us forget that our salaries are artificially low for people with our level of education, apprenticeship experience, and certification because the teacher workforce has historically been mostly female. Makes me angry every year.)

        Reply ↓
    5. Can't Sit Still*

      Our total compensation letter is only about monetary compensation: base pay, salary increase, bonus calculations, and stock grants.

      Immediately after the benefits enrollment period, we receive an annual total rewards letter which includes all of our benefits, but no salary information is included.

      Reply ↓
    6. ThatGirl*

      Yep, I always figured it was a way to say “look, you may think your pay is low, but look how many things we ALSO pay for!”

      Reply ↓
    8. Percy Weasley*

      I used to get these from the company I worked for back in the 90s. It was pretty cool to see everything we were getting all neatly spelled out.

      Reply ↓
      1. Shutterdoula*

        It’s not bad, really, but it is annoying when it’s done in response to employees saying “inflation is at 8%, a 1.5% COLA adjustment is not enough” or “we haven’t had merit raises since before COVID and it’s time to bring them back” – because it’s very tone deaf to what employees are saying.
        Comes off as “you are all ingrates, look what we do for you that you don’t even appreciate!”

        Reply ↓
    10. Lifelong student*

      When I was the finance director at a NFP I did this for employes. I thought it provided useful information to them since our finances were tight and perhaps helped them recognize the cost of employment to the goals of our agency.

      Reply ↓
    11. Charlotte Lucas*

      My old job did this every once in a while. Since our pay was low for the area, we assumed it was to justify that. And a lot of people suspected that they were inflating some numbers. But our kinda OK benefits got worse over time. I don’t think they were still doing it by the time I left.

      Reply ↓
    12. Always Tired*

      We do that and I hate it and can’t convince my boss (company owner) to drop it. He does it so he can justify to himself not giving bigger raises, because look at the total comp! As if that pays for the cost of groceries going up. Most people just feel insulted when he brings up total comp when they ask for a raise.

      Reply ↓
    13. WantonSeedStitch*

      We’ve had one for years. I don’t find it terribly useful to me, but I have no issues with it either. Then again, I work in a place with really great benefits.

      Reply ↓
    14. Toxic Workplace Survivor*

      It might help to reframe this as an equity procedure. I once worked at a unionized company that still had a massive gender pay gap and once they started trying to figure out why, many of the (white cis) male employees had managed to negotiate or be granted side bonuses or merit pay that stacked on top of the publicly available union grid. Many employees had no idea this was even possible. It had been used in the past for the Old Boys’ Club to keep their favorite people around and definitely led to some serious inequity in terms of actual pay, as well as increased the systemic problems of the organization itself.

      Reply ↓
      1. Toxic Workplace Survivor*

        whoops, meant to add that “seeing all forms of compensation laid out would have allowed for some of those problems to surface/be remedied faster.”

        Reply ↓
    15. Starbuck*

      I think it’s really good to have that info as a point of comparison whenever you’re considering a new position and have to weigh if the benefits + salary are an improvement or not. I’d be glad to have the info all in one neat outline.

      Part of me thinks, wow I’d like to be making more hourly… then the other part of me sees the employer contribution for my health insurance ($$$) and I think thank goodness that’s not on me.

      How you feel about it may vary but the info itself seems obviously valuable.

      Reply ↓
      1. Isabel Archer*

        This. At OldJob, my salary was decidedly average, but the top-tier health insurance that cost $8,400/year only cost me $50/month. That’s not a typo. We also had company wide incentive bonuses and profit sharing, both annually, which combined added another 10 to 15% to my income.

        I realize this example is more generous than many people experience, but I do think it’s a bit disingenuous to universally crap on the employers for showing total comp. The math is the math, and it can be in the employee’s favor.

        Reply ↓
    16. RagingADHD*

      My husband used to get these where he worked 20 years ago. I’ve never had one.

      It’s not new, but some places do them and some don’t.

      Reply ↓
  42. Can't Sit Still*

    Employee Appreciation – I need suggestions, please!

    It has to be in-person at the office. I can’t give time off or WFH days or gift cards. It’s supposed to be after work, but I’m having it during work hours and attendance will be optional. (What could be more fun than a mandatory employee appreciation event after work! /s) Food may be provided, but can’t be the only thing.

    Any suggestions? I have a budget of $45 per person.

    Reply ↓
    1. Dust Bunny*

      Our employee appreciation days are during lunch, more or less, with boxed lunches provided (food options are emailed about a month in advance) and small games (participation optional) like bingo, with gift cards as prizes. Attendance is optional, of course, since it’s during the workday, and it’s all very chill.

      Reply ↓
    2. A Simple Narwhal*

      Fwiw having it during office hours is already a big boost. Does it absolutely have to be more than just food? I enjoy a team lunch with my coworkers where we can take time to just chat and not think about work stuff. And $45/person could be a pretty good lunch!

      Reply ↓
    3. Elle*

      Lunch and then maybe a fun game. You can download a jeopardy template for free and break up into teams. Prize for the winners.

      Reply ↓
    4. The Office Vegan*

      In the past we’ve usually paid for an ice cream truck to come, and it’s always so fun. We make sure they have vegan options and usually book them for like a 2 or 3 hour window in the afternoon, and employees can go eat as much ice cream as they want (the truck we book always has cold coffee floats as an option, and root beer floats and people LOVE them, esp. the coffee floats). Get a little music going with a bluetooth speaker and it’s a good time. One of our employees has some lawn games that he will bring in (corn hole, giant jenga) and we’ll set those up. Ultimately a handful of folks play games, some people get ice cream and then bounce, and others hang out and eat ice cream and chat with friends. It’s low-key and a nice time overall.

      Reply ↓
    5. Can't Work With Beers I Guess?*

      Just don’t give people a hard time if they opt out…we used to have in-office happy hours on Fridays, but were so busy more people would grab a beer, chat for 5 mins, then return to work. The COO who arranged it dramatically canceled it because No OnE aPpReCiAtEd HiM. Like bro, people are being diligent? wat.

      Reply ↓
    6. Qwerty*

      We had an ice cream social that was a big hit. One of the important aspects was our C-suites and VPs manned the serving stations, so as you went down the line you got thanked at least 3 times by important people. (Our company is ~100 people, so this might translate to directors and senior managers if you are a bigger company).

      So I think whatever you do, make sure important people are actually visible and actively appreciating the employees. Feeling seen is really important.

      Reply ↓
      1. Charming Kitten*

        Work with a local bookstore to hold an in-office book fair? Bring in a litter of shelter puppies for cuddling?

        Reply ↓
    7. linger*

      Some public recognition of individuals’ contributions? Which may be more or less useful depending on total group size; can’t imagine sitting through a hundred iterations of “Stevina performed brilliantly on the Muskrat account”. At the more social end, this could be gamified by soliciting, in advance, fun (and, I cannot stress this enough, positive) titles for individuals from their immediate colleagues. Could range anywhere from the more quantifiable/directly task-related “Most able to bend the photocopier to their will” to the more whimsical “Most useful source of brains in a zombie apocalypse”.

      Reply ↓
  43. I'm just here for the cats!!*

    Any help for working at a front desk and your feeling overwhelmed, even after the immediate hustle has died down. I don’t know if I just didn’t get enough sleep or what but we had several people come in at once, calls ringing off the hook and I was on the phone with a client with a situation I didn’t quite know what to do with. No one was angry or anything. But that was over 2 hours ago and I’m still feeling on edge. I can’t just go for a walk right now. How do others just take a breathe when they still have to stay at the front.

    Reply ↓
    1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      It was also just one of those days where my assistant wasn’t in yet (they come in a few hours after me) and there was no one else available for help. That doesn’t happen much.

      Reply ↓
    2. Strive to Excel*

      Can you get up and make a coffee/tea? Refill the printer paper? Water a plant? Do anything else that gives you a physical change in routine? Sometimes I’ll go and make tea not because I want tea but because it gives me something to do with my hands for a few minutes. Alternatively, organize something. We’re not paperless so I’ll sometimes just take a few minutes to tidy my client files or organize some backlog. If you’re digital, maybe your work folders could use a quick naming convention review. It can help to put something in order, even if it’s a tiny thing.

      Reply ↓
      1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

        These are all great ideas. Sometimes I think I just need to remember to breathe! :) This morning was one of those days that every time I turned around something was happening. Nothing bad. Just a lot of odd ball questions and situations that were either above me (and the person wouldn’t let me go get who could help them) or I didn’t have support in the moment because people were in meetings out of the office.

        I’m an admin and have been in this job for several years now. But my first 8 years of work experience after college was call center type work, and a toxic one at that. I still sometimes have these habits that EVERYTHING needs to be answered NOW or ELSE! but it’s ok if someone has to wait, or you have to call someone back, etc. Just shows how toxic bad offices can really mess with you. I’m all good after a relaxing lunch in a spare office.

        Reply ↓
    3. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

      This is the kind of thing that restaurant/bar/retail people go through often enough. sometimes all you can do is defocus your eyes, surreptitiously stretch, etc.

      Reply ↓
  44. Any Given Fergus*

    Does anyone have recent experience job hunting? Any success or horror stories they can share? I’m getting laid off on May 2 because my role is moving overseas. I’m getting a retention bonus to stay until then, and an ok severance, and I am also eligible to apply for any open roles in the company. Except that I don’t think that I want to stay with the company for a variety of reasons (not least of which is the fact that transitioning my role overseas is going to be a disaster and I don’t want to be around for the aftermath). I would really just like to make a clean break and part ways as of May, but I worry that, with everything happening right now, this is not the time to be job hunting if it can be avoided. I have a high probability of securing a new role in the company, and it’s probably the safe course to pursue. But gosh, I really don’t want to.

    Reply ↓
    1. ecnaseener*

      Unless I’m missing something, you have no particular reason not to start looking except that it’s daunting, which, understandable! But if it’s a bad market, the thing to do is start looking earlier, not later.

      Looking doesn’t mean you have to take what’s offered. If you get an offer that doesn’t seem worth losing your retention bonus, or that seems worse than an internal posting you could get, then you don’t take it.

      To answer your question, my recent job hunt (ended last year) was around 6 months, being pretty picky as I was fine in my previous job. Wasn’t too painful!

      Reply ↓
      1. Any Given Fergus*

        I’m putting the finishing touches on my resume this weekend and will start applying in earnest then. I would happily give up the retention bonus and severance if a promising new job came my way before then. I guess I’m trying to figure out if I should also apply to current opening in my company at the same time. A 6 month job search doesn’t seem bad and gives me some hope. Congrats on your new role!

        Reply ↓
    2. Tio*

      If you mean now is not the time to be job hunting as in it’s a bad market, yes it is, but that just means it will take more time and energy from you. Which means you should start sooner rather than later, especially if your goal is to be out by May (which, unless you have a pretty decent skillset, might not happen, just FYI. I have had friends on the market for nearly a year now who are full professionals employed for over a decade continuously still hunting)

      Reply ↓
      1. Any Given Fergus*

        “I have had friends on the market for nearly a year now who are full professionals employed for over a decade continuously still hunting” – yeah, that’s what worries me. Between savings and severance, I’ll be ok for about a year and a half, maybe two if I’m really careful. But being almost a year into a job search has to be demoralizing and stressful.

        Reply ↓
  45. Ann O'Nemity*

    I’m interested in hearing from those working in education about how your school is responding to the recent “Dear Colleague” letter from the U.S. Department of Education regarding the ban on DEI initiatives.

    For those unfamiliar, the Department of Education issued a four-page letter last Friday, stating that schools must eliminate diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives within 14 days or risk losing federal funding.

    Reply ↓
    1. Mid*

      My partner’s school is more or less ignoring it until there are actual consequences, anticipating court challenges holding up the implementation.

      Reply ↓
    3. bananners*

      Higher ed here- our state had already dismantled DEI ahead of the DOE letter. Guessing our govt leaders knew it was coming in advance.

      Reply ↓
    4. Rara Avis*

      My cousin is affected. Her facebook post:

      “On Friday, the Department of Education issued a “dear colleague” letter to all educators, K-12 as well as higher ed, who work at institutions that receive federal funding, issuing a warning that they would be cracking down on what they called “race, color, and national origin discrimination.” What does that actually mean under this administration? Well, the letter says that “educational institutions have toxically indoctrinated students with the false premise that the United States is built upon “systemic and structural racism.”
      This semester, I am teaching 150 undergraduates a Constitutional law course. I ask you, how on earth would I teach that course without:
      1. explaining that the original Constitution was completely and totally designed to privilege the interests of slave states, giving them disproportionate power in the new country, which certainly prolonged the practice of slavery.
      2. letting them know that the very first Constitutional right that was ever protected was the right of slave owners to have their [human] “property” brought back to them across state lines, privileging the right to own humans and terrorize people over the right of free Black people in the North not to be kidnapped off the street.
      3. reminding them that the Dred Scott decision in 1854 declared it to be impossible for a person with Black skin to ever be a citizen of the United States, even though there were tens of thousands of Black citizens at that time.
      4. going on to let them know that after a Civil War in which 600,000 people died, the US Supreme Court refused to read the new Constitutional Amendments that were added, with the words “Equal Protection” to mean that states couldn’t completely segregate public life.
      I generally also find it difficult not to inform my students that the land on which our University sits used to be inhabited by Indigenous people, that our school is named for a man who rose to fame and prestige because he was the mastermind of a policy that deliberately infected blankets with smallpox in order to speed up the eradication of Native Americans, and that the University buildings were actually built with money raised from selling parcels of land out west that were stolen from more Native tribes, making UMass Amherst built on genocide in three different ways. It strikes me as an important aspect of becoming an educated member of our campus community.
      I could go on, and on, and on. My point is, I literally would have no idea what to say if I couldn’t talk about racism. It’s baked in. So yeah, that’s pretty systemic and structural. I fail to see how pretending that isn’t true helps anyone. And I will never, ever stop telling the truth about my country, which I happen to love, despite it all. Happy President’s Day.”

      Reply ↓
    5. Kimmy Schmidt*

      My university is leaning heavily on our statewide university system and state attorney general office. So far, no concrete steps have been announced but everyone is panicking.

      Reply ↓
    7. Educator*

      Education nonprofit–we are blatantly ignoring it because it directly contradicts our stated mission. They don’t even really understand what DEI means. Let them try to stop us.

      Reply ↓
    9. Teacher Lady*

      I teach in a large, majority-minority school district. We are ignoring it. We actually did have a huge PD grant get canceled because of it, and the union and the district immediately found a way to jointly fund it through the rest of the academic year. My school, along with others in the district, is also planning a series of Know Your Rights events for our families.

      Reply ↓
    10. Starbuck*

      My state is ignoring the federal government on this one as it’s embedded in our state law. The superintendent has urged schools & districts not to comply. We will be resistors :) Contingencies for making do without federal funds are being planned… if it comes to that it won’t be pretty but I’m as confident as I can be that we’ll find a way.

      Reply ↓
  46. Blurgh*

    *TW domestic abuse

    Our employee Sarah has a husband, Rob, who regularly calls her 30-50+ times a day. Sometimes she will block his number after they have a fight. This will cause him to come to her workplace and harass other employees to help track her down. He was eventually served with a trespass notice.

    Although he can’t come to Sarah’s work any more the calls have continued. This causes Sarah to be visibly distracted and upset. In addition, these incessant calls are distracting and upsetting for other employees even when Sarah doesn’t answer.

    Sarah needs to have her phone for work. We’ve considered giving Sarah another work phone but it’s way too easy for Rob to find out the new phone number.

    I have filed a report with police and offered support to Sarah, but not much can be done as she declined assistance. In relation to other issues that have arisen from Rob’s insane behavior, is it unreasonable for me to ask Sarah to block Rob’s phone number while she’s at work? Aside from offering EAP, is there anything I can do to support Sarah’s coworkers who are upset by her situation?

    Reply ↓
    1. Mid*

      Do they live together?

      If so, having him blocked will likely end up with escalation at home. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable idea from a business standpoint, but I do worry about the consequences for her. And if you make her not taking his calls a condition of her employment, he likely gets what he wants because she would have to be fired.

      Why would it be easy for him to find her new work number? Could you keep it unlisted?

      Have you talked to a local DV org or your local police about safety planning for the office? Have you asked Sarah what she wants?

      Reply ↓
    3. Search function*

      There are some insightful posts on AAM on abuse. Just use the search function and “abuse”! I really recommend to read the comments too!
      (Links will go to moderation, that’s why I am recommending the search function)

      “dealing with domestic abuse in the workplace” – Jul 22
      “I think my employee is being abused by her partner” – May 23
      “overheard a possibly abused coworker, telling an employee I’m moving her office, and more” – Nov 15

      Reply ↓
    4. WoodswomanWrites*

      What an awful situation for Sarah and all of you at work. Because domestic abuse is complicated, I suggest you ask the experts at the Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-7233.

      Reply ↓
        1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

          Also many areas have 211 assistance. Just dial 211 or google 211 and your area and you will find the 800 number. its a 24/7 resource that will have info specific to the area including shelters, mental health resources, and more.

          Reply ↓
    5. CommanderBanana*

      This is a terrible situation to be in, I’m so sorry. I’m a 9-year domestic violence shelter volunteer and here are my thoughts:

      – Rob coming to your workplace is incredibly dangerous. Many workplace violence incidents begin as domestic violence. It’s great that you have a trespass order against Rob, but I would think about what else you can do to help keep your colleagues safe. You may want to call your local or state DV hotline and get their advice. A few things I can think of offhand: make sure every employee knows who Rob is and what he looks like, what car he drives, and that there’s a clear protocol for what to do if they see him (lock doors, alert staff, call police). Document anything and everything that happens.

      – You can keep information about local DV resources available and accessible in your workplace.

      – Please try to minimize the effect on Sarah’s coworkers. You may need to have a conversation with Sarah about what she and you can do, whether that’s asking her to keep his number blocked when she’s in the office, only answering in a private office, whatever keeps her coworkers from having to be exposed to Rob.

      – Revisit giving her a new phone and what options there are to keep the number private. Maybe a Google voice number? Again, a DV hotline may have some ideas.

      I want to be very clear that your staff are in danger from this person. Domestic violence doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and Sarah is not the only person at risk here.

      Reply ↓
    6. DJ*

      Do give her a work phone/number so she can answer work calls. EAP a great idea. Other staff perhaps a group session with EAP about DV issues including supporting those in that situation.

      Reply ↓
    7. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      Could you block his number for all lines for your office? You wouldn’t need her permission to do this since it’s a problem for everyone. I’m not sure if this is a cell phone or landline type of phone system, but there should be a way. I’ve worked places where problematic people have had to be blocked or reported because of their behavior towards staff.

      If you haven’t I would also speak to your company legal team or a lawyer for your company about getting some type of restraining order for the company saying he can’t call or harass employees. This could also include Sarah.

      As someone who was in a family with DV it is incredibly hard for the victim to get out. It sounds like you are the manager so if you haven’t, make sure that you have told Sarah that her job is secure, offer any assistance (such as having someone escort her from the office at night, flexible time for appointments with lawyers or counselors,). Does your company have any emergency assistance type of thing? Sometimes companies will have a program where employees can get help with housing, etc. I’ve seen it for someone who had a fire and they had to relocate. The company helped with hotel, etc.

      I think you should also talk with your other employees, to make sure they understand that they can use the EAP if this is causing issues for them (you never know who may have been a DV survivor and it could be triggering for them). And make sure there is no retaliation from others to Sarah because of the issue. Shut down any gossip, etc that you hear.

      Reply ↓
    8. Ann O'Nemity*

      Please do share and re-share the EAP.

      It is not unreasonable to set workplace expectations for personal calls. Present Sarah with some options: (1) block Rob’s number during work hours, (2) set up a Google voice number to easily separate personal vs business calls and/or explore blocking software that does this, (3) offer a separate work phone.

      If you don’t already, set up a safety plan in case of escalation.

      Reply ↓
    9. Glomarization, Esq.*

      You probably have a legal duty of care to your employees to protect them from foreseeable danger from Rob. I think you should call in a lawyer immediately to discuss what your state and local laws require you to do (and forbid you to do, as some states make it illegal to fire someone in Sarah’s circumstances).

      Your issue is beyond the scope of this comments section, I think.

      Reply ↓
  47. CC*

    My company just hired an employee who is gray scale color blind. Does anyone know of any reputable software that they could use to determine color of physical objects? It is a necessary part of the job. There are plenty of phone apps just wondering about something more “official”.

    Reply ↓
    1. Mid*

      To they need to determine the color of objects on a screen or around a room? Are they going to be walking around or stationary while determining colors? How accurate do they need to be in color IDing? (Eg do they just need ROYGBIV colors or specific hex codes?)

      Reply ↓
      1. CC*

        It would be objects on their desk. They would be stationary. Just objects in their desk area. It would just be ROYGBIV colors.

        Reply ↓
    2. Dinwar*

      Off, I can feel this. I’m not color blind, but repeatable identification of color is something we do a lot (lithology for soil borings), and the fact that different people see things slightly differently is a HUGE problem with that whole “repeatable” thing. And the really fun thing is, color isn’t just wavelengths of light. If it were things like brown and gray, or literally any color not in the rainbow, wouldn’t exist. There is a variety of ways to assess color, based on either physical properties (like radio telescopes do, essentially) or perception (the Munsell Chart).

      The problem is, there’s no reliable way to automate this. The color we see is based on the reflection of light off the surface of the material (mostly; there’s a lot of complexity here that probably doesn’t matter for you so I’m skipping over). Different light sources can dramatically impact this. Remember the whole “Is the dress white and gold or black and blue?” thing a few years back? That’s an example of how powerful this can be. Angle can also make a big difference. And there’s a lot of other factors. At the end of the day, there’s just no good automated software that can do this in real-world settings.

      One option that may be possible is to make it a non-real-world setting. What I mean is, you control the variables. Stage it like a photograph–white lights, diffusing screens, set and repeatable angles, all that. Then you can take a photograph and use software to determine the color of individual pixels. You will need to calibrate this, either periodically or each photograph (I’ve seen setups that do both).

      Prices range from relatively cheap (DIY using cardboard boxes, tissue paper, and tape, plus some carefully selected light bulbs) to really expensive (the cameras used in satellites, which is where I encountered the setup I got to play with).

      Finally, I have to ask: Is this guy the right fit for this job? I understand that discrimination is inherently wrong, but there are some tasks that require certain capabilities such that if you’re not able to do them, you can’t be in that role. My anosmia has kept me from doing certain projects, because I couldn’t detect the contaminant and the technology to allow me to do so was either prohibitively expensive or intrinsically unsafe (flame-ionizing detector for hydrogen sulfide equals boom). It may be worth asking yourself if a colorblind person is able to do this job.

      Reply ↓
    3. Peanut Hamper*

      The device you are looking for is a colorimeter. You can get small, hand-held ones for anywhere from $100 to $500. They are similar to what paint stores use to match paint samples.

      Reply ↓
      1. Roy G. Biv*

        Seconding the colorimeter. Let technology do the work. Just make sure the app lists or at least cross-references a name for a color, vs. only displaying numeric values. For example, bright orange, vs a Pantone reference number, or L*A*B* values.

        Reply ↓
    4. Janeway, Her Coffee In Hand*

      Have you asked them how they know which colors are which in their everyday life? Someone with that severe of colorblindness probably knows a few tools that work for them. If they don’t and rely on other people to tell them, I agree with the user who mentioned making some kind of lightbox situation. Lighting in an environment can totally change how a color reads to a camera. I tried one called Color Blind Pal and it did alright. If you can test the solution out ahead of time to confirm it’s reading colors correctly, do that before handing it off.

      And good on you for not letting their disability make you count them out. It would be easy to make that excuse for not hiring this person and refusing to is a sign of an inclusive work environment.

      Reply ↓
  48. Mrs. X*

    I went through 5 interviews for a position and was told I was essentially the runner up to the person who was chosen and that if things changed they would reach back out to me. Two weeks later I see the EXACT SAME JOB I interviewed for posted. I haven’t heard anything from my contact there since the job has been reposted. Do I reach out to them or just wait and see?

    Reply ↓
    1. Mid*

      Wait and see! It could be automatically reposted, it could be for a second identical position, it could be accidentally reposted, it could be for a slightly different position but the language is identical because someone wasn’t paying attention, it could be that they decided they didn’t want to hire you or anyone else in the candidate pool, etc. 2 weeks isn’t a long wait in business time, even though it feels horribly long to you.

      Reply ↓
    2. Busy Middle Manager*

      Did you give salary expectations? Maybe they want someone cheaper? Maybe I’m projecting a bit, but since I also had five rounds at a place, I thought I’d get an offer. They reposted the job. The manager was communicative, so I scheduled another call, he said in a round-about way that they want to pay less and also wanted to outsource and were willing to shave off requirements if the cost saving for outsourcing were enough (obviously he beat around the bush and didn’t literally say this).

      Put another way, they are probably very aware of your candidacy and you did nothing wrong

      Reply ↓
    3. spcepickle*

      How big the place you are applying? I work for state government. All our job posts look exactly the same BUT they are for different offices that don’t talk to each other. So I could have interviewed you and liked you but gone with someone else and then you could see the same job post that I have nothing to do with. If you reached out to me and said something like hey I enjoyed talking to you in our interview and I wanted to let you know I applied for this other position as well. I would find out the hiring manager and make sure they knew your name and that I thought you were a good candidate.

      Long story short – Even if it were for the same job with the same hiring manager I would totally apply again without them reaching back out.

      Reply ↓
      1. linger*

        Definitely apply again, but maybe reach out to to them first to confirm that this is an actual open position rather than an accidental re-posting.

        Reply ↓
  49. Everdene*

    UK Job Hunting

    Like the poster this week, I am considering moving out of the third sector. this might be a silly question but where do I look for non-Charity jobs in the UK? Indeed is apparently popular but seems unwieldy. I work on the service delivery side of charities and currently am a senior leader, but not director. If I’m honest, I’m not even sure what job title to put in search engines.

    Any advice is very much appreciated please!

    Reply ↓
    2. The Prettiest Curse*

      LinkedIn isn’t bad, but you will need to train the algorithm to show you jobs that you want to see. I’m fairly certain you can set up job alerts on both Indeed and LinkedIn with various different criteria. Following specific potential employers on LinkedIn may also be useful.

      Reply ↓
    3. Call Me Wheels*

      I used indeed, reed, and jobs . ac . uk (as one url) since I knew I wanted to work in an education setting. This was 6 months ago

      Reply ↓
  50. Linzer Tort*

    I got laid off in November and started a new job a month ago. I am very luck, yay!

    New job is working for former boss A at the startup where she is now CEO. Things are chaotic, but there are plans to make it less chaotic. The role isn’t what I really want to do – it’s a role grooming llamas and making sure llama farmers are happy with our work. My background/interest is more in creating the tools used for llama, sheep, and dog-grooming, managing team of llama groomers, and setting up internal processes for the groomers to follow.

    Boss B who laid me off was very angry about the fact that she had to do so, and left that org not long after I did. She also took a c-suite job at a small start-up, and right before I accepted the other offer indicated that she wanted to hire me but that she was limited by location.

    Boss B texted about an hour ago that she has permission to hire me now. I’m more interested in the work her company does, and the role working for her would be perfectly aligned with my career interests. BUT at this point if I leave my current role there is a strong possibility Boss A’s company would lose over $2M in annual revenue, and the fire I started burning the bridge would be uncontrollable. So I’m stuck, ugh.

    It is, at least, a compliment that 2 former bosses are so interested in working with me I guess.

    Reply ↓
    1. linger*

      How soon can you responsibly leave A? Noting that “responsibly” here would mean, leaving enough documentation for others to continue your role, rather than waiting to hire and onboard a replacement. You ultimately cannot be held solely responsible for A’s success, so that’s not a compelling reason to ignore other offers indefinitely.
      And since B has needed months to get approval, can they now wait to hire for that position? Timewise, the conflict may end up more manageable than it appears; and if the position with B is specifically tied to you, you likely have more than a little control over the timing.

      Reply ↓
  51. DEIsparate*

    DEI question-I work for an organization that provides workshops. Some are custom for a single company/institution. Others are open to all and have a mix of attendees. We were just told by several institutions to remove anything DEI in attendee materials. If we don’t, we will lose business we cannot afford to lose + can’t help an important issue being addressed by our workshops. I am struggling so much with it. How are others handling this? Do we remove DEI from materials specific to institutions that require it? Do we offer two versions of materials overall (so it doesn’t prevent attendees from institutions banning DEI from coming to the “open to all” workshops)? I don’t want to just remove DEI -it would be wrong and also justifiably alienate a portion of our audiences. And how far do we need to go if we choose to have 2 sets of materials? For example, our registration has numerous gender options and open space to self-identify and mentions our inclusiveness (we have a reason to ask about gender). Is just seeing commitment to DEI on our website or seeing DEI version of materials along with DEI-free going to ban us? Please let me know any solutions you have!

    Reply ↓
    1. TerminologyChange*

      You’re not going to win. No matter where you draw the line – fully inclusive, excise everything, or somewhere in between – you’re going to alienate some people. So, without knowing what you’re training specifically I don’t know what your line should be, but in general I’d remove explicit mentions of the terms DEI, diversity, and inclusion but keep the general concepts. Keep an eye on what people complain about if you get any complaints and consider additional changes based on that feedback.

      Reply ↓
    2. Generic Name*

      Can you do a find+replace of the “DEI” term and replace it with something else? That’s how I’ve been seeing other institutions deal with this.

      Reply ↓
  52. Everneverbe*

    I worked in content creation for over a decade at a big-name place, but I’ve recently transitioned into more of a strategy role at smaller firm. Our sector is very connected, and many of the junior writers at my new company are aware that I used to be one of them and was quite successful.

    The manager of the content team at this company, James, is notoriously hard for his team to reach. He is constantly on trips and running from meeting to meeting and can take hours to respond to their messages, if he responds at all. What answers he does give are often rushed and off-the-cuff.

    This wouldn’t really impact me — except that a few of the junior writers, assuming they won’t get what they need out of James, have started coming to me for advice on ongoing projects. Their questions are very common ones for junior writers to have: which information to include in the introduction, how to approach the conclusion, the best way to phrase a very technical section, is this title catchy enough? etc. I really want to help them out — I had invaluable help from multiple mentors in my early career that I want to pay forward, I’ve always found it very rewarding to help new creators grow, and there’s a decent amount of downtime in my current role anyway so it doesn’t interfere with my assignments.

    I worry, though, that it might be a problem if I give advice that ends up contradicting what James ultimately wants. For example, the other day a writer, Charlotte, asked me which of two statistics would be better to highlight in her introduction. I recommended one, detailing my reasoning, and she went with it — but James, in his cursory glance at the project right before it went out, swapped it for the other. I worry that this might’ve been confusing or frustrating for Charlotte, and I certainly don’t want to be seen as trying to undermine James’s authority.

    When I give this advice, I always try to add caveats like “This would be my approach if I were doing this project, which doesn’t mean it’s the only way of doing it,” or “I can’t predict what James will want, but I would suggest X.” But is that enough? Are there some questions it’s appropriate for me to answer and some I should defer? Or should I just be recommending that these folks direct their questions to James, even though I know he’s not helpful?

    Reply ↓
    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      Personally, I’d stop trying to fix this problem. I’d tell them “I’m sorry, I don’t know what James would have you do, so you need to get an answer from him.” The ultimate solution might be that James needs to be more available to his writers, or that this particular authority might need to be shifted to someone else. But right now you’re semi-successfully hiding the fact that there is a problem in the first place.

      Reply ↓
      1. Agree*

        “But right now you’re semi-successfully hiding the fact that there is a problem in the first place.”

        I am a strong proponent of sending problems where they belong – instead of constantly working around them. I completely agree.

        Reply ↓
    2. Reba*

      I think you’re overthinking it. I’m not in your field, but I feel like the episode you’re worried was “confusing or frustrating” was…extremely normal? It’s writing, there are always different ways it could be done and not one Right Way, and you’re doing well to underscore that when you give advice.

      Put on your performance evaluation that colleagues seek you out as a sounding board.

      Reply ↓
    3. Not your monkeeeeys*

      These questions seem really specific for someone no longer at the company, and maybe even things that they shouldn’t be sharing with you for confidentiality? I would strongly encourage you to tell them to talk to James (or to agitate up) – this is absolutely not your circus.

      Reply ↓
    4. Starbuck*

      I would start re-directing all those requests to James, since you don’t have any authority to approve the specifics it seems.

      You can offer time for general coaching/mentoring if you’re feeling very generous, but it sounds like you need to stop answering specific work task requests.

      Reply ↓
  53. Bookworm*

    Question for the federal employees –

    I was confused when I saw a news story about workers RTO at the Washington Navy Yard office. Lack of parking (many took public transit), etc. Were the employees remote well before Covid or were they made remote when Covid happened? I was wondering about the lack of space.

    Reply ↓
    1. Dinwar*

      Not a federal employee, but I am a federal contractor. I’ve seen a fair bit of construction going on at various installations over the past few years. Buildings that were old but kept because getting rid of them would be too inconvenient, that sort of thing–when people went remote it was no longer inconvenient to get rid of them, so they did. And when they were replaced they were sometimes replaced with non-office space. Testing facilities, warehouses, maintenance facilities, that sort of thing.

      I can easily see a base that was preparing for long-term remote work running out of parking space due to the rapid 180 on WFH.

      Reply ↓
    2. DJ*

      Not a federal employee and also from a different country. My workplace centralised staff in a main office. As at the time the policy was mainly WFH they didn’t organise any parking for those who would need it (staff with disability needing it as an accommodation). Now that they want ppl in the office the majority of time it’s a real issue for this group.

      Reply ↓
    3. A Significant Tree*

      RTO is not being handled well by many organizations, federal gov’t as well as industry. The dictates to return to office have been forced ahead of ensuring there are enough desks, much less parking, for everyone. It seems to be a combination of factors – long-time remote employees who never had a desk now having to go to an office, increased hiring to newly remote positions during Covid, revoking WFH and hybrid schedules that took pressure off of parking/desk allotments, and selling off or dropping leases to company buildings.

      Reply ↓
    4. But not the Hippopotamus*

      Former federal employee and current federal contractor.

      Navy Yard is a military space, so many of yhe folks working there pre-covid (military) are likely no longer there as they tend to have 3 year assignments and covid shutdown was 5 years ago.

      Also, all the pre-existing carpool and van-pooling arrangements likely no longer apply for the civilian workforce as they probably fell apart and can’t necessarily be put back together in a couple weeks… not to mention a percent of folks who moved on, retired, or had contracts end.

      And… public transit has been tweaked and changed since then, and will take time to adjust to new ridership patterns.

      In short, lots of the parking-spot savings mechanisms have to be re-established.

      Reply ↓
    5. Over It*

      Speaking for myself, I’ve been a federal employee for thirteen years, twelve of which have been working from home. The majority of my job is to review records and assess for compliance and safety issues, which can be done anywhere with a computer, Internet access, and a secure connection. The team I work with travels across the state to go to patients houses. In addition to record reviews, I also help to field calls from my team if they have any questions about a patients history while they are in the home. So now thanks to these new plans I am driving in to an office to sit alone in a room on a computer and answer calls exactly as I did at home. Of course, I don’t have an office, or a computer, or a desk, or a place to park. So that’s fun and definitely not at all a waste of government resources s/.

      you know that team I talked about who drive around to patients houses? To comply with the new requirements my team now has to drive in to the facility (up to a two hour drive for some of them) only to turn around and drive two hours BACK to their area for home visits, then drive BACK to the facility by the end of their shift. Some of my team lives nearby, but like I said some live two hours away. Thanks to this new initiative to reduce waste, fraud, and abuse, four hours of their work day will now be spent driving to and from an “office” that used to be spent with patients. Plus that’s an extra parking spot required for all of them.

      as our supervisor said to us last week, anyone with half a brain would realize this isn’t really about reducing fraud, waste, and abuse. This is about power. The more idiotic and senseless the order, the more powerful they will feel when people comply in the face of all common sense. I apologize if my response comes off as blunt or snarky. I’m feeling very snarky these days!

      Reply ↓
  54. I'll have a double double*

    I learned this week that I did not secure a job opportunity due to an error made by one of my references. This reference was a former manager from five years ago. Before the reference check, I contacted her to confirm her willingness to serve as a reference, and she agreed.

    The hiring manager mentioned that, during the reference check, my former manager indicated I had worked with her at ABC Corp, while my resume states that she was my manager at XYZ Inc. In fact, I have never worked at ABC Corp; my former manager did, prior to her role at XYZ Inc with me. The hiring manager even inquired if she might be confusing the company names, but she maintained that we worked together at ABC Corp, which is inaccurate.

    The hiring manager acknowledged that my former manager provided a positive reference and strongly recommended me. However, due to the confusion regarding the company name, he expressed concern about the reliability of her reference, suggesting that she might have been referring to a different former employee. He noted that while my other two references were solid, the miscommunication from this reference had a negative impact on my candidacy, especially since another candidate had three well-substantiated references.

    I recognize that this opportunity has passed and cannot be recovered. Should I reach out to this former manager and ask what happened?

    Reply ↓
    1. Someone Else's Boss*

      Man, I’d be so curious to hear Allison’s thoughts here. My take is – this employer is focusing on the wrong thing. Making reference calls is a big chunk of my job and this wouldn’t have even phased me. I guess maybe I would have asked you about it, but I can’t imagine it would have caused me to go with another candidate (unless I was digging deep to find something to set the two of you apart). If you want to continue using this person as a reference, I would follow-up to clarify the details, but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Alternatively, if you’re in a position to pivot to a different reference, this may be the time. The fact that she doubled down when the mistake was pointed out is my primary concern. What else might she forget?

      Reply ↓
    2. M2*

      Yes. And don’t use that reference again I would say.

      I had this happen years ago and was told that my reference said they only worked with me at graduate school and not irl. That wasn’t true! This person was well-known in their field (and my manager), but also taught at a top university due to their knowledge on a certain subject. They were confused or something and even though they offered to be a reference and gave me a glowing recommendation they made it seem like I worked with them in grad school and not at work. This caused confusion and HR basically asked me why I lied! I told them I did not lie and that maybe he confused me for a grad student since it was at the end of spring semester and maybe he had other references he was doing that day. Needless to say I did not get the role and I was gutted. I never used them or asked them for a reference again and found someone else. They were older and I don’t want to say it was due to age, but it was frustrating that they clearly were confused on the call.

      Reply ↓
    3. Busy Middle Manager*

      I’ve been seeing so many stories that show companies don’t actually want to hire or don’t know how to hire, these days. This all seems like an excuse or bad practice at the hiring company. I do not see some big confusion that someone of average intelligence (at the hiring company’s end) couldn’t figure out. This is on them, there really isn’t anything the former manager can do.

      I feel like due to how lousy the white collar job market is, companies have gotten lazy when it comes to things like responding to applicants, and filter out candidates for reasons that make little sense.

      Reply ↓
    4. Antilles*

      I would absolutely reach out to this former manager. I would also include the entire story so they know that their weird confusion over the names caused problems.
      I would also note that this feels like a ridiculous overreaction or weird justification on the part of the hiring manager. “We think she might be referring to a different employee” based on a minor confusion about the company’s name/timeline feels like a huge mental leap. Did they not ask what you two did together? Did they not ask specifics about you and how she knew you? If they’re actually doing a real reference check, feels like they should have very quickly realized that yes she was talking about double-double just a brain fart on the exact timetable.

      Reply ↓
      1. Sneaky Squirrel*

        Yes, I think that its rather ridiculous to be denied an opportunity to move forward with a job opportunity on the basis of a reference mixing up the company names. “We think she might be referring to a different employee” is quite a leap indeed when this is someone you’ve presumably kept in touch with and spoke to directly about being your reference in advance.

        They could have just asked you to supply a 4th reference if they were questioning the reliability of your reference.

        Reply ↓
      2. Kay*

        I wouldn’t call it a ridiculous overreaction/justification. This person was serving as a reference and the details are very important – if they were adamant that the employee worked with them at a completely different company I would say it is actually pretty reasonable that they questioned whether the reference was thinking of a different employee!

        It really sucks for the OP but it is absolutely a reasonable thing for a company to question. I think it would have been reasonable for them to ask for another reference, but considering they had another good candidate with excellent references it also makes sense that they just decided to go with that one.

        Reply ↓
    5. juliebulie*

      Maybe reach out and TELL this former manager what happened. Because if you need to use this person as a reference again, you’ll want them to have their facts straight.

      Reply ↓
    6. Lou*

      When I’m asked to give references, I always ask the person to send me an email outlining when they worked with me, what their title was, and if there are any projects they might like me to speak to. Even though I remember the details of someone’s strengths or how good an employee they were, I often forget the harder details of their dates of employment, etc. As someone asking for a reference FROM someone, maybe sending each an outline of when and in what capacity you worked for them would be a good way to head off any mis-remembered details.

      Reply ↓
      1. Starbuck*

        Oh dear. Yes, when I’ve asked someone to be my reference in the past, I’ve sent them my resume for reference. Or at least the chunk of it that’s related to my position with them. And I always appreciate the same from people asking me to be their reference.

        I do keep a spreadsheet for myself to track some basics for everyone I’ve supervised (I hire for a lot of short-term early career positions so it happens a lot) because I personally know I’m bad at on-the-spot calls and need to have something in front of me to reference.

        Reply ↓
  55. hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

    Hi! I need to know if this situation is a “me” issue or a “boss” issue. My boss is the office manager.

    Basically, part of my job is working on a project that involves scanning old real estate closing binders. I started this in the fall and am hoping to be done within the next week or so. When I started, there was no end date given, but I was also not the only clerk. Once the other clerk left, progress slowed waaaaaay down because I now had to do everything myself.

    A couple weeks ago my boss said that her boss said I need to “step up” the scanning because I’m going to have another project to work on (we’re also moving in a couple months, which we didn’t know when this project started).

    I emailed her the following day and said that I would prioritize scanning, but things like deliveries and phone calls and messenger runs (multiple a week, and they might take 30 minutes or 2.5 hours), and meeting setups would take priority. She responded with “yes I know all this.” Since then, I’ve prioritized this project as much as I can, but it’s apparently still not moving fast enough because she asked me for another update earlier this week and keeps tending me to prioritize this.

    I send an update to the real estate paralegal and her a couple times a week with what I get done, so the paralegal can take it from there (she has to upload to a specific software I don’t and can’t have access to).

    But I can’t not answer phones or get deliveries or do messenger runs, and she’s never offered to take any of this off my plate. Even just getting deliveries in the morning or something would be a huge help, but I’m expected to balance it all. Which would be fine if she weren’t putting pressure on me to get this done yesterday. Another clerk just started and hopefully can start doing some of my tasks on her own, but for a couple weeks, I imagine I’ll be doing a majority of the work still.

    I just don’t know what else to do. Short of closing myself.

    Reply ↓
    1. Someone Else's Boss*

      When she asked for the latest update and told you to prioritize the project more, how did you respond? I think I understand that the time before that, you listed out some things that would continue to take priority, but what did you say when she pushed on it again? One way I advise people to handle this kind of situation in general would be to say, “I completely understand that scanning is my top priority, after time sensitive tasks such as X, Y, and Z. I’ve been prioritizing that way since we spoke in January. Is there someone would can cover X, Y, and/or Z so that I can spend more time on scanning?” The point here being – lay out the situation plainly and ask them what they want you to do about it. If they can’t tell you what changes to make then there’s nothing more you can do and you may simply need to accept that their expectations are out of line with reality. Sometimes asking them to help you do that reprioritization can help bring that to their attention.

      Reply ↓
      1. Hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

        The first time she brought it up I said something like im doing the best I can, but I did t know it was supposed to be a priority. Then I sent the email saying that I would prioritize this going forward but that I still had to do x y and z as my job. But I haven’t asked if there’s someone that can take over tasks, largely because I know she’ll say nk based on when I’ve asked for help in the past. So maybe I need to accept that her expectation’s are just out of line with the reality of my job.

        Reply ↓
    2. Rusty Shackelford*

      No, that’s a boss issue. The next time she tells you to prioritize this project, I’d explicitly ask her. “When you say to prioritize scanning, does that mean you want me to stop answering phones, setting up meetings, getting deliveries, or doing messenger runs? Because those are the tasks taking me away from scanning right now.”

      Reply ↓
      2. A Simple Narwhal*

        I agree, I’d also ask her to clearly define what she means by prioritizing. Because it seems like you are prioritizing the scanning, but she actually means “get it done faster”. And if you’re supposed to do all of those other tasks and yet somehow do it the scanning faster, there’s no way to do that without eliminating the other tasks.

        It might not help but sometimes having someone clearly spell out their own request helps them realize the ridiculousness of it.

        I remember clearly a coworker who would always tell me to “use my best judgement” on certain project parts and then get angry that I hadn’t somehow read her mind and done it exactly how she pictured it. It took me pointing out that “use my best judgement” never produced the results she wanted and I could see it actually see it on her face when she realized I was right.

        Reply ↓
        1. Tio*

          I would also come prepared with an estimate of how much of your work time is actually spent doing the phones and deliveries and whatnot – ex “We get about 30 calls a day, and on average I spend 3-4 hours answering them, 1 hour checking in deliveries, 2 hours on messenger runs, and that leaves 2 hours for scanning. I’m getting about X documents scanned per day. Do you want me to adjust the priorities, like holding off on messenger runs or something similar until the scanning is done? Otherwise at this rate assuming no additional interruptions I estimate it will be done by [date].”

          Reply ↓
          1. A Simple Narwhal*

            Yes, the more specific the better. If she thinks that all of your other tasks only take a minute or two but it actually takes hours her expectations are way off.

            Be sure to include if there’s extra time added because of the interruptions. Like if two straight hours of scanning would get you more done than two hours spread out throughout the day broken up by ad hoc requests because you have to restart the machine, lock and unlock the records room, etc, that’s important to note as well.

            Reply ↓
            1. hypoglycemic rage (she/her)*

              thanks, yall! I haven’t kept a detailed log of what all I do all day, but maybe I should give an estimate if asked about an update again.

              god, I’d love to get 2 hours of uninterrupted scanning time….. :’)

              it’s unfortunately not just scanning, but I also have to go back and edit all the document scan names before I send a message to the paralegal that a binder (or binders) is done. I could rename it at the scanner, but it’s slightly quicker for me to type in the tab number, scan it to the drive folder, and then sit down and rename it. the interruptions are still annoying when I’ve got a groove going, but for some reason I’d love to just have a chunk of scanning time.

              Reply ↓
              1. Starbuck*

                If you don’t have a log of what you do all day and how long it takes – your boss definitely has even less of a clue. This would be really valuable since like others have said, it sounds like the underlying directive is actually “go faster” but they still want you to do everything else you’re working on.

                Reply ↓
  56. Your Oreo Friend*

    I’ve talked on here before about how when I started my new position in the company, after replacing a long-time, much loved person, I began to build goodwill and get to know people better by buying packs of Oreo flavors and going around and letting everyone try different flavors. Not often, just every few months when I’d find a new Oreo flavor. I’ve been in my position for about a year and half now, and this week went around with the new Post Malone swirled salted caramel Oreos for everyone to try.

    It was really fun and heartening to see people light up when they saw me walking by with a pack of Oreos in my hands. Lively discussions ensued if the Oreos were actually good or not, or too sweet, or if they were better or worse than the last flavor (Coca-Cola Oreos). A few people told me how much they enjoy these “spontaneous Oreo afternoons” and that made me feel good.

    Anyway, if you’re looking for a low-cost bonding activity, flavor testing new Oreo flavors is a hit.

    Reply ↓
    1. Pam Adams*

      I bring in fruit. Pomelos from the tree or tangerines from my campus farm store. My doctors office gets them regularly too.

      Reply ↓
    2. Strive to Excel*

      I did this with a friend group with weird popcorn flavors many years ago! Can confirm, this is a fun low-stress way to get to know people.

      Reply ↓
    4. Cordelia*

      now I am very envious, we don’t get any of these flavours in the UK as far as I know – if any UK people know different, please let me know!

      Reply ↓
  57. Stephanie*

    I’m hoping to get some insight. My son is currently in his first year teaching high school math. He’s looking to change careers and is interested in becoming a financial advisor. He is looking at getting a master’s degree in finance. Is this a realistic path forward? He has a bachelor’s degree (obviously), but is unsure if getting the master’s in finance would be the right step. (He’s going to pursue a master’s regardless because he’ll make more teaching with a master’s, and plans to continue to teach for at least two more years.)
    Any thoughts would be welcome.

    Reply ↓
    1. Rainy*

      Has he looked at the financial advisor credentials and whether a master’s in finance is even necessary? If he’s getting a master’s with an eye to bumping his teaching salary and being useful, he might do better to drill deeper into math with a master’s in math, applied math, or statistics, if one or more of those would also help him pass the financial advisor certs.

      Reply ↓
      1. Stephanie*

        Good thought. I’ll let him know.
        He’s still in the early stages of all of this. And with regard to teaching, they don’t care at all what your masters is in, you get the pay bump regardless. But it’s definitely important to make sure he goes in the right direction if he wants to change careers.

        Reply ↓
        1. Peanut Hamper*

          Be very careful with the “they don’t care at all” if that’s just coming from a colleague.

          Check the contract. I’ve seen some contracts that specifically spell out that advanced degrees have to be in a teachable area. If he’s getting this information from a colleague, it’s possible the colleague got their master’s when the rules were a lot less strict. Many school districts have tightened their requirements for this in recent times.

          Reply ↓
    2. DisneyChannelThis*

      Advice I give to students, look up the people who hold the type of jobs you want. Look on linkedin, look on company websites, you’re looking for what are their job titles.

      Then look up those job titles in job ads, what do they say you need to be qualified for this type of role? You can also look at the qualifications of those people too.

      One bit of unasked for advice, at some point you have to step back from your kids career planning. Let them steer that ship on their own.

      Reply ↓
    3. Strive to Excel*

      If this is the US, I’d strongly encourage that he take a look at the educational requirements for a CFP (certified financial planner). My understanding is that it’s the finance equivalent of a CPA for accountants. If he’s going to do a master’s anyways, he should cross-check the classes he wants to take with the educational requirements for a CFP to make sure he’s covering his needs.

      Reply ↓
    4. Chauncy Gardener*

      My husband is a financial advisor and you for sure do not need a Masters degree to get this job. He needs to look into the requirements for the job, such as SEC certifications and the like.
      Also, is he planning on working for a big company or out on his own? On your own is REALLY hard in this regulatory environment FYI.
      He may want to try working for a big company to check it out first. Or at least look at job postings to see what the requirements are. I don’t think he’s done enough research yet.

      Reply ↓
      1. Stephanie*

        Yes, he definitely needs to do more research. He’s looking at a masters because of the related pay bump he’ll get as a teacher. (He has to teach for at least two more years, practically speaking—for reasons that aren’t worth getting into.)
        He’s in the early stages of looking into this and has been asking me and my husband for advice. I thought I’d ask the readers here, because this is such a nice, helpful, knowledgeable group of folks.
        Thanks for the info. It’s helpful.

        Reply ↓
  58. aaaargh*

    I just need to vent. My office is across from a factory in the middle of a city. There’s a truck that comes to the factory for several hours a day and pumps materials into the factory–it sounds like a vacuum cleaner, but louder. The workers also bang on the outside of the truck with a metal implement to get the materials out of the truck.

    The noise is driving me crazy, especially since I work right next to the window and the windows are poorly insulated (old building). It’s impossible to concentrate and the noise is giving me anxiety. I come home with my jaw hurting because I’ve been clenching my teeth all day.

    I submitted a noise complaint with the city but the noise office refused to open a complaint because the area is zoned industrial. Our office lease is 7 more years. Other than this, I like my job and don’t want to quit. I can’t work from home any more than I am now because I’m an office administrator who handles facilities stuff, office supplies, etc. I hate this.

    Reply ↓
    1. A Simple Narwhal*

      Oh that sucks! A couple suggestions to consider:

      -Can you have your desk moved?
      -White noise to drown out the sound – try playing white noise from your phone or computer first to see if works before buying a machine
      -Noise cancelling headphones
      -Thick curtains to dampen the sounds
      -Do you have tasks that take you away from the window that you could save for when the truck comes by?

      Reply ↓
      1. aaaargh*

        There isn’t really room in our office for me to move to a different desk or take tasks away from the window, unfortunately. White noise and noise canceling headphones don’t dampen the metal banging noise, which is the part I find most stressful. Curtains really aren’t in our budget right now, unfortunately (federally funded nonprofit).

        Reply ↓
        1. WellRed*

          By there isn’t room, is there literally no other space? Or is there someone who might not be bothered by the noise willing to switch desks? If there’s nothing you can do the physical space and white (and brown and pink and fans and other options) don’t work, can only suggest some sort of … therapy (CBT maybe?$ to try and learn some coping mechanisms. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I have a barky neighbor dog driving me right around the bed but that’s nothing compared to industrial banging

          Reply ↓
      2. But not the Hippopotamus*

        maybe combine white (or pink or whatever color best mutes the irritating sound) with noise canceling headphones? or background music?

        sorry you are dealing with this

        Reply ↓
    2. Strive to Excel*

      Side note on jaw clenching – if you’re doing that a lot, talk to your dentist! That can cause some long-term health issues. There are bite guards you can get that will take the strain off.

      Beyond that – get a phone or recording device capable of measuring decibel level and put it next to you for a few days. If it’s over 85 decibels on average, OSHA requires employers to put in some sort of noise conservation program. Get a reading. If it’s over 85, go to your management and bring your evidence. You may not have budget to re-curtain the whole building but you might have some budget for necessary medical accomodations. Similarly, you should check what specific noise levels are allowed under your city zoning. Finally, check your lease documents; does your landlord have any contract requirements to keep noise down?

      All that said – if they’re doing it intermittently it might be under the noise limits and no one is legally required to do anything. If that’s the case, can you look into affordable sound-dampening panels or curtains on your own budget? This isn’t a ‘good’ solution by any means – it should be your management doing it – but it might be better than nothing.

      Reply ↓
      1. aaaargh*

        No lease requirements about noise, and the DB level is definitely below 85 indoors–it’s not damaging to my hearing, just stressful to be exposed to for most of the day. Curtain projects are expensive (the windows are tall, nonstandard sizes, high up, and the walls are brick), and I definitely don’t have the budget to pay for that out of my own pocket. Again, I do admin work for a nonprofit. I’m not wealthy enough to finance improvements to my own space, let alone my employer’s, haha.

        Reply ↓
    3. Jeneral*

      Be sure to get a night guard to protect your teeth. You can get them over the counter for $15-$30. I recently went to a new dentist, and she told me just how much damage the clenching has been doing to my teeth, in ways I didn’t realize and that aren’t reversible.

      Reply ↓
  59. Harrowhark Nonagesimus*

    Hello! I’m in a professional organization with a DEI subsection. We’ve lost some funding due to the name of our subsection. Does anyone have any suggestions for pushing back on this?

    Reply ↓
    1. Fergus*

      Was it federal funding that you lost? Probably not much you can do to push back on it although you may check to see if there are any legal actions happening in the courts related to this issue that you might follow.

      Reply ↓
    3. Educator*

      Given the stupidity of the people making these decisions, can you just change the name of your subsection to something less politically charged? The Workforce Promotion subsection or similar?

      Reply ↓
  60. foureyedlibrarian*

    My department started with 9 and is now down to 3 (numbers are fudged in case coworkers read this). How have you survived a drastic reduction in workforce? Any scripts you suggest for the following scenarios:

    -Bosses still expect you to be a “go getter” and voluntell you to do something but you don’t have the mental capacity or time for it
    -People ask why so many people left (management issue)
    -Direct their anger at you, because most of their targets left

    Reply ↓
    2. Rainy*

      Lol. I put up with it until I couldn’t anymore and then I found a job with more reasonable expectations. My old workplace treated me EVEN WORSE during my notice period and after.

      Do a lot of “If you want me to do C I have to drop A or B” for the tasks.

      I wouldn’t answer “why are people leaving”. “You’d have to ask Jane about that.”

      Refuse to be treated poorly, and make it unsatisfying when they do.

      But basically, you gotta get out of there.

      Reply ↓
  61. Definitely Rage Applying*

    First timer here but has anyone had a new manager give a performance review that left you blindsided, after 5 years of solid ones by a former manager, and generally felt the issues brought up were either untrue or misleading? What did you end up doing?

    Reply ↓
    1. DJ*

      Years ago I had a manager try to extend my probation after former glowing reviews. This manger had raised why one of my reviews was particularly glowing. It was also a traineeship and I’d passed all assessments.
      I believed very strongly my performance was excellent so appealed under the orgs grievance procedure. Also involved the union.
      I transferred to another office within a few weeks and within days that manager was calling me into her office for me to sign off on her recommendation for successful completion of probation and permanency.
      Find out the procedure if you wish to appeal. Figure out whether it matters. See if you can make comments. And keep records!

      Reply ↓
      1. OP*

        Not sure if I can appeal, but will look into making comments and definitely looking over my paper trails for proof! Thank you.

        Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      I got very upset, treated my new manager as an adversary out to get me, and eventually got myself fired. Maybe don’t do that.

      If you want to make this work (at least until you find another job), I think you’re going to need to put aside the rage and be curious. What is this new manager’s perspective? Exactly what are their expectations? What do they precisely mean by that piece of feedback? Can they give examples of what they’ve seen, and what they’d prefer to see?

      Do *not* go into this with the goal of changing your new manager’s mind or providing counter-examples. IME, if they think you aren’t listening to their feedback, they will not listen to your defenses. It’s also really hard to listen and argue at the same time. At *some point* they might be open to hearing your point of view/counter-examples/what your last boss thought, but it isn’t now.

      I recommend Thank You for the Feedback for how to dig in and understand feedback even when you strongly disagree with it.

      Reply ↓
      1. OP*

        I love that book, I may need to re-read it now that I actually need it! I appreciate this advice of being curious, as curiosity is my strength and I’m not quite ready to add more flames to the fire. Thank you!

        Reply ↓
  62. DisneyChannelThis*

    I’m academia adjacent, affected by the indirect cost NIH stuff. Our department is cutting snacks for meetings, reducing coffee budget, and asking us to brainstorm how to save money. Is this a red flag for incoming layoffs?

    Reply ↓
    1. bananners*

      I think that question will vary greatly by university – what proportion of the overall budget is NIH money? How are they using the IDCs for (in addition to snacks/coffee)? How is it distributed? How is your position funded?

      Reply ↓
    2. Who Plays Backgammon?*

      how much is your budget for refreshments and coffee and how large is your department? those sound like trivial amounts in an overall budget. i’d say red flag for either (1)reasonable frugality coming but the powers that be don’t know how to do it, OR (2) if they can’t/won’t pay for coffee, we’re in big trouble.

      i once worked at a large public university and i never saw so many phd’s who didn’t know how many pennies were in a dollar and how to appropriately manage money. they just spent money like it was a limitless resource.

      Reply ↓
  64. SophieChotek*

    Reviews/COL/raises
    Question for HR people.
    Let’s say we get graded on a A, B, C, D, E, F scale.
    Some colleagues have been complaining that they felt they were deliberately given Ds (instead of least Cs) even though they do at least “C” work because a) the manager wants an excuse to fire then sometimes this year and/or b) the manager was given a specific budget for any raises/COL increases and had to meet budget so they graded some people low so they had money to give to others. If you score a “D” or lower, you likely will be put on a PIP
    I’m curious for those with a window in HR – is there any validity do you think? Or do I have colleagues that just over-estimate their skills/abilities?

    Reply ↓
    1. Mad Scientist*

      I think (b) tends to be true in a lot of organizations, but that would generally mean the difference between a C vs. B, not giving someone a below-average rating that would result in a PIP. If they’re getting below-average ratings and going on a PIP, then that probably has more to do with their own work than the possibility of the manager wanting to give raises to others. But going from a B to a C to balance out the overall budget for raises is not unheard of. (I don’t have a window into HR, but I’ve had supervisors who were very open about how this worked in the past.)

      Reply ↓
    2. Qwerty*

      b is very unlikely in this situation. That’s moustache-twirly villian to give multiple people a PIP rating in order to give someone a bigger raise. More likely in a budget constrained scenario is most people get stuck at C with the manager forced to be selective on who gets an A or B

      I have worked at a startup that where there was an unofficial rating of A, B, C, D (not shared with employees) where rather than laying off group D, they forced them onto surprise PIPs, and would have repeated the same on Cs then Bs as they ran out of money. But that was a crappy startup whose head of HR was a former recruiter with no knowledge of employment law and fired anyone who knew actual laws. She thought PIP = firing for cause so the company wouldn’t have to pay unemployment and was trying to get around the WARN act.

      What is most likely is (c) collegues have a higher valuation of their skills than their manager
      – Level setting across teams means the rating definition changed
      – Performance issues weren’t dealt with “because of the pandemic” and the company is course correcting (this hit a lot of people about a year ago)
      – Coworker and manager value different aspects of their job. Common example is bad soft skills or attitude can hurt somone who is technically meeting their metrics. Or manager undervalues something the employee is good at.

      Reply ↓
      1. SophieChotek*

        Thanks – had not heard thought about the pandemic and issues not being dealt with earlier / read about this hitting other people

        Reply ↓
    3. Antilles*

      It’s impossible to tell without more knowledge, because all of those options are possible.
      a) Some managers do like to intentionally give subpar performance reviews to build up a case for firing. Especially if your policy is to put “D”s on a PIP, that can be a way to dump employees because they’ll often start looking rather than sitting around on a PIP wondering if/when the axe will fall.
      b) There are some (dumb) companies explicitly force managers to follow bell curve rankings or limit budgets. Or where managers get in trouble for giving out too many good grades, even if you do indeed have all A-tier performers.
      c) Plenty of people do over-estimate their skills/abilities and are completely blindsided when they get a legitimately fair “uh actually you’re struggling” review.
      If you want to investigate it, my suggestion would be to dig into the details of the contested reviews. If a manager is giving out a D and effectively suggesting someone be on a PIP/firing track, I’d expect there to be a solid explanation that you can read and back-check. If the review just says “needs improvement on timeliness” but nothing else, that’s a lot more questionable than if it’s got a detailed explanation of how Bob regularly misses deadlines, his technical work requires extensive rewrites, etc.

      Reply ↓
    4. Kay*

      I would expect a D to be the result of most likely 1) performance issues or less likely but still an option, especially in this climate 2) need to cut staff due to business needs. It could be a bit of a combination but the part where you said “at least C work” does not produce the vision of a great employee anyone wants to keep except as a backup. Without knowing more about how the business is doing financially or their goals, what your colleagues work looks like and how your company usually handles these things it is impossible to say any of this with certainty.

      Reply ↓
  65. Higgins*

    Not a question, but I’m proud of this, so I’m sharing with internet strangers! I reached out to HR a few weeks ago because a coworker of mine was having trouble getting a procedure covered on our insurance. Which isn’t very noteworthy, we work at an organization that does advocacy about how insurance should cover this very procedure, and her claim was being denied for discriminatory reasons. I just heard this week that her claim has been approved, and HR is going to be working to change the language in our plan to make sure other people don’t face these denials, and get monthly reports of denials going forward so they can proactively address them! Some more proof that speaking up can get a lot done!

    Reply ↓
    1. MigraineMonth*

      Bravo from this internet stranger! Well done. I love that not only have they fixed it for this one employee, but they’re taking proactive steps to keep it from happening again.

      Reply ↓
    3. PrivacyRules*

      Did you get her permission? Otherwise this is a huge privacy violation, one that would get you fired at many orgs. Also, for most types of insurance, it would be a huge overreach for HR to see denial info on employees (depending on the way the insurance is funded there might be one employee who is allowed/expected to see such info, often partially or fully de-identified). I would be horrified by these privacy invasions if it were me.

      Reply ↓
        1. PrivacyRules*

          well, they said HR is going to monitor stuff which typically is a big no-no, and everything about this post gave me hives on the privacy front.

          Reply ↓
  66. Omelas Employee*

    New manager here, and I need help! I have two employees today who separately told me their coworker Jane did not open the front door for them when she clearly saw them and they were locked out. They both claim she just stood there and stared at them. I spoke to Jane and she said in both instances there was someone else in the office who got out the button to unlock it remotely, so she didn’t need to run over and open it (our office has a winding ramp to the front door so it isn’t a simple walk over).

    Do I tell Jane she has to try to open the door for everyone she sees at the window? Do I tell my other employees that it isn’t personal? There has been a little tension between Jane and these two that is definitely coloring this experience for them.

    Reply ↓
    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think everyone here is behaving incredibly weirdly. Is it Jane’s job to unlock the door? If yes, can she have the remote unlock button so it’s less annoying for her? If no, did the employees get in okay in a timely fashion? If yes, why does any of this matter?

      I feel like everyone should feel a bit embarrassed for involving you, to be honest. I realise that doesn’t solve your problem, but “Jane didn’t personally let me in but someone else did” is just the weirdest thing to go to your boss about.

      Reply ↓
      1. bananners*

        I had two employees who didn’t like each other, and one morning I was pleasantly chatting with Employee A and Employee B came in and reemed out Employee A for “intentionally” locking them out of the office the previous afternoon.

        What had happened was Employee A was regularly the last person in the office, and since A and B ignore each other to the point of only speaking over instant message, when Employee A went to leave for the night, they thought they were alone. Employee B had left the suite to use the building’s restroom and didn’t take their key. A shut the door, B couldn’t access their things in the office (including car keys), couldn’t get building maintenance on the phone because it was after hours, and their spouse had to come pick them up for work. Incredibly inconvenient, but definitely couldn’t prove A did it on purpose.

        B wasn’t my employee, A was, but what I did was address what I could objectively see – B yelling (raised voice) at A. In a way, it was lucky it went down like that, because B’s usual style was to tattle about A versus explode at them to their face.

        At the end of the day – what you need to address here is not that Jane didn’t open the door – it’s that your employees should be civil enough to one another to be able to have this conversation without involving you. If you don’t nip this right now, they are going to come to you ALL. THE. TIME. with complaints about Jane. (Ask me how I know.)

        Reply ↓
        1. bananners*

          follow up to this because I’m one of those people who worry they give wrong impressions when really I’m just giving too much detail –

          Employee A 100% could have locked out Employee B. Wouldn’t surprise me. But I have no way of knowing.

          I wrote this as though I favored Employee A. Not at all the case. I felt equally terrible about having to manage A as I did having to work with B. Couldn’t get out of that cesspool fast enough.

          Reply ↓
          1. Omelas Employee*

            Thanks for the response! One of the two staff does not get along with Jane at all and has a history of complaining about her in every small way she can. They already do come to me all the time with complaints and my supervisor has interestingly the opposite take as you.

            My supervisor Leah says I should be making sure they come to me because they cannot work it out themselves and it shouldn’t be a battle of their wills. Leah has been coaching the team to come to me with all the issues they can’t solve, so I feel like I am balancing AAM’s advice to make them work it out themselves and Leah’s take.

            Reply ↓
            1. bananners*

              Ooh, and as a new manager, you probably don’t have a lot of standing to push back on Leah. That’s tough. My boss (who was also Employee B’s boss) was conflict avoidant and thought these were “women’s problems,” which is part of the reason I served as office therapist for as long as I did.

              One activity I did that was actually productive was to put the two of them in the room and set some rules of engagement for moving forward. I had each write their expectations on their own, and then we compared the two and arrived at a shared understanding of what “collegial” meant.

              The other thing I did – to save myself some time and energy – was to ask them, if they had a concern, to document it in an email to me. It cut down on the amount of time I had to spend with them in my comfy office chair complaining, and also created a paper trail in the event that something was happening where I needed to bring HR in.

              Reply ↓
            2. Tio*

              If they’re coming to you constantly, I think you need to level set some expectations. Like for this, did you tell them “Jane saw someone else getting the door remotely so she didn’t need to run over and open it. It sounds like you were let in pretty quickly. I think this is the kind of thing that doesn’t warrant a complaint when there was no harm done here”? It sounds like you’re the boss, that means you can push back if they’re just being petty about things

              Reply ↓
              1. WellRed*

                Yeah why do they think it’s ok to come to you constantly with this piddly nitpicking. Don’t give them the satisfaction,

                Reply ↓
            3. MigraineMonth*

              Just weighing in that I *don’t* think the correct response is to make them work it out for themselves. They aren’t children who don’t realize they’re being petty; one of these employees has already made a hostile workplace complaint against another and seems to have gotten another employee involved in a campaign to get that person fired.

              If your hunch is correct and this is targeted harassment against Jane, you should *not* tell her to make nice with the ones harassing her or treat this as “women’s problems” or “interpersonal conflict” they should resolve on their own. However, you can tell *employees A and B* that their complaint is petty, unreasonable and reflects poorly on them, and make it clear that you only want to hear about actual issues with Jane.

              Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      Can you give a bit more context? Do these employees usually have keys/remotes which they forgot, or is the usual procedure to stand outside and wait for someone to unlock the door? Is Jane the closest to the door and therefore expected to do so all the time? Does Jane have a remote so she could unlock it?

      Assuming the two employees were quickly let inside via remote, this does seem like a lot of todo about nothing. It isn’t reasonable to expect Jane to stop what she’s doing and run to get the door for them if there’s a more convenient way to let them in.

      Reply ↓
      1. Omelas Employee*

        The first staff lost their badge and needed to be let in and the second forgot theirs inside when they stepped out for a minute. All staff have access to a desk that has a remote, but Jane is not in charge of the door. It is a lot of to do about nothing and I am beginning to realize staff are emotional about something else and this is the small thing that is creating a blow up.

        More context: one of these staff has accused Jane of creating a hostile workplace but after a lot of staff interviews, their previous manager and myself concluded that this was not the case. I beginning to think now that one of the staff might be trying to do everything they can to get Jane fired.

        Reply ↓
        1. Rainy*

          So you have two staff members who are careless with office property that’s important for security blowing up at someone whose job isn’t to stand by the door letting people in…

          Have you thought about whether the first two are trying to deflect any criticism around losing office property literally necessary to access their location of work by blaming Jane?

          Reply ↓
        2. Who Plays Backgammon?*

          I’ve sorta been in Jane’s shoes, pre-covid.

          everyone in our suite was issued a door badge, but certain people often left theirs behind and had to be buzzed in all day long. yes, i had a door button on my desk, but i wasn’t the receptionist (back office) and i wasn’t just sitting there doing nothing. I had job duties and phone calls to manage, and the distraction of the door buzzer was not a small thing. they’d laugh like it was a big funny joke, but it was a silly disrespectful power game.

          Reply ↓
  67. Trying to Plan not Panic*

    How have folks prepared for potential layoffs at your organization. My employer has had several federal projects terminated in recent weeks, and layoffs are imminent. My projects are still intact, but it is uncertain for how long, and I will likely lose my job if that work is terminated.

    What would you recommend to prepare for possible layoffs in terms of capturing work information? I am a mix of project manager on federal grants and program staff. I’ve downloaded paystubs, tax information, key email contacts if I want to maintain relationships?

    I will likely get severance and may take a moment to catch my breath before job hunting, but I do want to be prepared. I am also sending good thoughts to other people who are in a similar situation.

    Reply ↓
    1. Bookworm*

      Not currently, but here’s how I prepared for layoffs in the past:

      Download all payroll/HR related info.

      If you have any reference materials that you put together yourself that aren’t unique to just that company, download/make copies.

      If you have any industry subscriptions, email lists, etc,. that are tied to work email, change them to personal email.

      Take home all personal stuff, only keeping the bare minimum you need daily.

      Reply ↓
    2. DJ*

      Has your organisation broached this topic with staff. What are your coworkers saying? Talk with your supervisor/manager.
      Brush up your resume. Identify referees so that you can swap contact details. Identify transferable skills. See if you can some career counseling/do a carer course. If you have an EAP see if they offer this.
      Identify coworkers you’d like to keep in touch with after a possible layoff. Might be good to set up a private social media page for coworkers to join. If it impacts on your already shaky job security then wait until the axe falls.
      I’m so sorry you and others are in this situation!

      Reply ↓
      1. Trying to Plan not Panic*

        Senior leadership has held several meetings and indicated that layoffs are likely (I don’t remember the exact words, but most of had that takeaway.), and anyone with business sense and basic math skills knows the current situation is not sustainable. They have been as transparent as they can without causing a panic, and I am grateful for that. If I do get laid off, I will likely lean hard into my project management experience, as most other organizations in my field are also hemorrhaging funding at the moment.

        Reply ↓
    3. Hlao-roo*

      If you have access to yearly performance evaluations, print/download those. It will make brushing up your resume easier.

      Reply ↓
  68. Ruby Tuesday*

    I know this has been asked before, but I don’t remember any of the replies.
    I need to make more money. My regular job pays well, but not enough, and I’m salaried so there are no overtime opportunities.
    It sounds like a lot of people freelance doing writing, web design, stuff like that, but I don’t have any freelance-able skills. I’m a scientist by education, working as a project manager in pharmaceuticals.
    I’d love to find something easy and flexible, that I can do on weekends or evenings from home. But I don’t really know if there’s anything out there that would fit that and not require any special skills. I thought about selling clothing and stuff I don’t use on eBay or Poshmark or something, but I’m not willing to part with the few covetable things that I have, and the rest probably wouldn’t fetch much money.
    Any suggestions where I can look?
    Thank you!

    Reply ↓
    2. SophieChotek*

      Are you allowed to work at in-store pharmacy in the weekends? For example, a Pharmacist at my local pharmacy told me the pharamcists make time-and-half on weekends b/c no one wants to work weekends. And a relative is a CHpT and makes well over $20/hour he claims for PT

      Grading state exams or SAT or ACTS may be remote/evening weekends.
      Some companies that I have heard do this include Pearson, Data Recognition Corp, etc. I have done this myself in the past (both going to a scoring center and remote). The companies I named are more Midwest

      Finally I have heard writing subtitles/closed captions can be a remote/paid by piece job. I have a friend who did this; wasnt enough to live on FT but as a second income?

      Reply ↓
      1. FrazzledFed*

        It’s not STEM, but if you can (don’t have mobility or allergy issues, have reliable transportation and like animals) check out being a part time dog-walker. They can make upwards of $40 bucks an hour. Especially if you’re near somewhere that workers are being forced to RTO – the demand for dog walking is way up, and our dog walker has quite a few clients in the area.

        Reply ↓
  69. Hannah Lee*

    Is it rude to just tell someone “I’ll read your email and let you know (or let you know if I have questions)” and leave it at that?

    I’ve got a co-worker who almost always will come see me immediately after sending me an email.
    My work involves doing a lot of different things, some detailed research, analysis that requires blocks of uninterrupted time, so I’ll usually check my mail once an hour or so, but don’t react immediately to every solitary email or I’d never get anything done.

    This guy is not a great (or clear) verbal communicator (not just with me, others struggle with him too) so usually when he pops up to say “I just sent you an email … someone is asking xyz and here is G and H and L info” with G H L having no obvious logical connection to xyz or any customer situation I’m aware of, I’ll respond by asking him questions to clarify, figure out the context, urgency … he’ll give confusing or incomplete answers, both of us get frustrated and inevitably I’ll say “let me just look at the email” I usually turns out it’s just a customer sending a new PO or asking for a copy of an invoice or something really straight-forward and not time sensitive. (or something that doesn’t involve me at all … I suspect sometimes he sends stuff my way because it’s more ‘safe’, less scary than asking his boss . I’m a female manager in a completely different department … he and his boss (my peer) are both men) It interrupts whatever I was doing, causes me to immediately respond to his every request (even if I’ve got other stuff in my queue ahead of that) and I wind up groaning internally every time I see him headed my way because I anticipate I’m about to get irritated and have my time wasted.

    I’m thinking the next time he pops up to say “I just sent you an email” I’m going to reply “okay … I’ll read it after I finish what I’m working on.” and immediately shift focus back to what I was doing.

    I’d do it nicely, certainly with less irritation in my voice than I had yesterday when He Did The Thing, it led to a me asking a series of questions, him giving garbled answers, me asking a simple question like “is this for the shipment from yesterday?” him starting to say something rambly and me holding up my hand and saying “stop! wait! that was a YES or NO question … is this for the shipment from yesterday?” (I am RARELY that blunt at work but I just could deal in that moment … I want to avoid doing that again)

    Reply ↓
    1. juliebulie*

      I think your proposed statement is fine and not rude. Or I might say “I saw your email, and I’ll get back to you when I’m finished with this.” Whatever you do, definitely do not reward him for interrupting you.

      Reply ↓
    3. DisneyChannelThis*

      My coworker does this! And he’s self aware, he’ll start off with “I know you haven’t had a chance to read my email yet” like sir, it’s not even made it past the spam filter settings yet.

      Reply ↓
    4. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think your proposed approach is fine, but also I think you need to deal with the thing where he emails you about stuff that has nothing to do with you just because you’re more approachable. It’s wasting your time! I’d be tempted to ignore those emails, but I’d probably reply with “I think you sent this to the wrong person, this isn’t something I’m working on.”

      Reply ↓
      1. Hannah Lee*

        Great point!

        As someone who’s been with the company for years, and the designated HR, employee relations person, I’m often the go-to for new employees when they have “I don’t know who to ask about this” or “I have an issue that involves 3 departments, systems, what’s the best way to approach it?” kind of questions, and that’s part of my job.

        This guy *was* the new guy, and probably got in that habit. But he’s now been here almost 2 years (wow, time goes by, didn’t realize it’s been that long) so you’re right, I should be redirecting him at this point.

        As juliebulie pointed out, I need to stop rewarding him for defaulting to me because I’m it’s the easy, more approachable path.

        Reply ↓
    5. Kay*

      It is very common to hear a variation of “I’m in the middle of something at the moment, I’ll get back to you in a bit” in every office I’m in, and I use it myself all the time. It really is pretty standard, I would deploy it immediately and continue in a sustained fashion. Since you already know it is an issue with this guy, just do it every. single. time. You have my permission to cut him off as soon as that initial ramble starts.

      I might sit with why you didn’t feel you could do this before, or why you feel like you needed to ask here if it is okay.

      Reply ↓
  70. You Now Know What I Make*

    I am a city employee. We found out this week that the city, in the interested of “transparency” posted the salary of every full-time city employee in a spreadsheet on the city’s Web site. By title and name. On a link that is accessible to anyone. Apparently this was done a few weeks ago, but we didn’t find out about it until a few days ago.

    It is supposedly to avoid having to respond to FOIA requests.

    Reply ↓
    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      My university has it’s own salary website. I didn’t like it at first, felt invasive. But it’s very helpful for figuring out what’s the salary range and asking for increases.

      Reply ↓
    2. AnotherLibrarian*

      Every state government and public Uni I’ve worked at has done this. So, I guess I don’t find it surprising. Most people don’t look. It’s really helpful for pay transparency if you ever want to try to pitch yourself for a raise.

      Reply ↓
    3. Peanut Hamper*

      Former teacher here. My state requires every school district to post all their financial information on their websites, so this information is always available.

      It was absolutely great when some blowhard would come to a school board meeting to complain that the school is keeping everything a secret, that nobody knows where the money is going, etc., etc., and then the school board president would tell them that it’s all on the website and to basically sit down and shut up. Those were very satisfying experiences.

      Reply ↓
      1. Teacher Lady*

        My district does the same thing, and our anti-education local media loves to generate a few days’ worth of outrage clicks complaining about how high our pay is when the list gets updated every year. I say, stay mad, my dudes – or maybe remove the school department filter and check out how much the police get paid…then let’s talk.

        Reply ↓
    5. CountyWorker*

      I’m sorry it feels invasive, but this is common in public and nonprofit sectors. You can look up my salary by googling my first and last name, the name of the county I work for and “salary”. The first result even compares my salary to the mean and median salary for the county.

      The same is almost certainly the case for state university employees and the top employees at nonprofits. When the public is paying your salary, they have an interest in knowing it.

      FOIA requests can go much further than this, including performance reviews, disciplinary records, emails and slack messages you send, etc. (Which often seems overkill for a county clerk, but can be pretty important when investigating a police department for a pattern of racial profiling and not disciplining its officers even when they’re found to violate citizens’ rights.)

      Transparency is frequently embarrassing! The reason we have the Florida Man stereotype is because of Florida’s Sunshine Laws require transparency in reporting arrests. However, you aren’t alone; a lot of us are just as exposed.

      Reply ↓
      1. Educator*

        There are some FOIA exemptions for things like identifiable personnel records. But when I worked in the public sector, I assumed everything I wrote could be a newspaper headline one day, and proceeded accordingly.

        But for things like salary, I would not worry to much about it. The only people who are spending a lot of time in those records are likely doing so to advance an agenda of their own, not to judge you personally.

        Reply ↓
        1. Kay*

          Eh – this isn’t always so true about the only people who are looking at this information. It isn’t the norm, certainly, but it isn’t always innocent. I say this just as an “its always good to be aware and proceed accordingly” kind of way.

          Reply ↓
    6. Who Plays Backgammon?*

      this shocks me. i’ve heard of posting salary ranges for a person’s position, but outing their salary by name and dollar amount?

      tell me where this place is so i can avoid it.

      Reply ↓
      1. Zona the Great*

        The public sector. Even if it isn’t outright published, it is all findable. And easily. I see no problem with it.

        Reply ↓
        1. Peanut Hamper*

          And honestly, it makes sense. I want to make sure that my government employees are making enough money that they won’t be doing something nefarious on the side to make ends meet.

          Reply ↓
  71. strawberries*

    I’m a state employee. There’s a whole database for state employee salaries, going back 30+ years. You just kinda get used to it, I guess. I use it for comps when I go for promotions or switch jobs.

    Reply ↓
  72. froodle*

    Small victory for me this week using some of AAM’s tips and tricks!

    I’m currently undergoing some pretty lengthy, invasive and draining medical procedures, and my hospital appointments regularly start late and overrun.

    On those days, I’ve been WFH and flexing my hours – starting early the day of, but also working the time back “in advance” by doing extra hours in the run up to the appointment days and then taking it as lieu time rather than OT

    So, end of last month I have two days with multiple appointments back to back.

    I get permission to WFH and flex my hours. I note that in WFH/Flex on our in-office whiteboard, my Outlook calender, the all-office Outlook calender, and the departmental spreadsheet used to track holidays / WFH / etc.

    I work an extra 14 hours in the run-up to my appointments. I record them in my timesheets under the days I’ll be flexing, exactly as instructed in the most recent timekeeping memo from Great Grand Boss.

    The Days of the Hospital arrive and I dutifully show up to be poked and prodded and have bits of me taken away for examination.

    I come back and there’s multiple Teams messages and emails from my boss and double-boss on those two days, wanting to know where I am, why aren’t I on Teams, could I please change my message on Teams.

    I’m pulled into a meeting with my boss, who criticizes my lack of responsiveness and tells me my double-boss almost turned up at my house when I wanted online or responding.

    I am Very Annoyed. For the next few weeks, I am quietly updating my CV, sending it out, applying for jobs. At work, the creak of dentin and enamel straining under a clenched jaw is my constant companion.

    My 1-2-1 rolls around, and I’m asked if I have any concerns.

    I explain that I was “taken aback” by their reaction, “disappointed” in how I was treated, and asked if I had “ever given you cause to question my integrity when it comes to remote work”.

    I’m assured that no, of course not, they would never, they were only concerned.

    I point out that I asked and received for permission, that I detailed what I was planning to do, that I did fourteen hours of work in advance in order to minimize any disruption caused by my absence, that I recorded the lieu time as instructed and that I flagged myself as WFH/Flex in four different places as required.

    I ask if there’s something they’d like me to do differently, to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

    No, no, it’s fine, I’ve done everything right, it was a miscommunication on their end.

    I stress that turning up at my house would be extremely unwelcome and that under no circumstances do I want or consent to that. They agree that this is very reasonable, it was an inappropriate thing to suggest, they were just concerned.

    (Which… press X to doubt, but I’m willing to concede the *possibility* that it was intended kindly – tone is hard to judge in tone and email,and six messages over two days might not seem that bad when you’re the one sending them but look very overwhelming when you’re the recipient seeing them all at once.)

    I walked away from that meeting pretty sure that I’m still going to leave over this (and also pretty sure I’m taking the next round of appointments as sick leave).

    But I also walked away having made my point, calmly, appropriately, without bursting into tears or losing my shit, no matter how much I wanted to.

    So thanks, Alison, for the scripts and the years of good advice.

    I’m still Big Mad, but at least this time I was Big Mad while in control of myself.

    Reply ↓
    1. Hannah Lee*

      Well done!
      Sorry you had to deal with that.

      Being able to keep your make your points, get them to admit they were off base AND keep your cool while in the midst of a draining medical/appointment gauntlet is really impressive.

      Sounds like using sick leave (and no longer jumping through hoops for their benefit by working extra ahead, doing extra administrative work) plus firing up a job search are great next steps, and the logical consequences of them mistreating your good efforts.
      – They have apparently mistaken your benevolent, hard working nature for weakness, and assumed they had all the power in the relationship.

      Reply ↓
  73. Jill Swinburne*

    Had a final interview on Wednesday! Very good noises have been made through the process. Now I am anxiously playing the waiting game – and with so few jobs currently available where I am I don’t have the luxury of ‘just keep applying’.

    What I don’t get is: I’m smart, have skills, want to get shit done, and I’m approachable and amiable. So why am I struggling through this ridiculously long job hunt when all the Ferguses are merrily employed causing chaos and rancour?

    Reply ↓
    1. ecnaseener*

      Crossing my fingers for you!

      I’ve long thought that there are two completely different job-searching universes that we filter ourselves into. AAM-style job-searching (mostly honest, looking for a job you’d be good at, screening for managers who are good at hiring and managing) gets you hired by completely different people than chaotic-Fergus-style (bullshitting, gumption, screening for managers who don’t know enough to see through it).

      Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      Probably because most people aren’t great at their jobs. Combine this with the fact that managing seems to require both training and experience and most managers start with neither, and there are a lot of ineffective managers.

      Ineffective managers don’t know how to hire the right people, so they get impressed by the Ferguses of the world and hire them. Ineffective managers also don’t know how to manage their employees, allowing proto-Ferguses to blossom into their full glory, and they don’t fire anyone.

      When an ineffective manager gets promoted, they propagate this into the lower ranks by hiring the wrong people, undermining them in managing their employees, and blocking them from firing anyone.

      Soon, all the people with other options have left, and the Ferguses are the only people who know how to keep the company running. They have reached the other side of the checkers board, been kinged, and now you have an Irreplaceable Fergus. Your only choice at this point is to wait for them to retire or for the company to fold under their increasingly outrageous behavior, whichever comes first.

      Reply ↓
    3. Irish Teacher.*

      Quite frankly, there’s a lot of luck involved. Some of it is what area you live in or what field you are in and how many job opportunities there are in it. Some of it is the Ferguses having the “right connections” and having a network that helps them get a job – the whole “jobs for the boys” thing does exist in some areas and some industries. Some of it is coming on the market at the right time; it’s often harder to fire somebody than it is to not employ them. Some of it is racism/sexism/classism – a straight white able-bodied cis male with the “right” background and accent will often find it easier to get a job than even a more able immigrant or person from a “bad” address (by which I mean something considered to be a bad address, whether or not that is accurate). Some of it is how people perform in interviews. There are some really inefficient people who are very good at “selling” themselves well. And some of it is just sheer luck.

      I know none of that is much consolation though.

      Best of luck with the final interview.

      Reply ↓
  74. Anon for This*

    So my small team has been understaffed since a co-worker resigned about two months ago. My (micro) manager has already rejected several candidates to backfill. Now I’ve realized I am covering far more than my share of work to cover and my boss has been more nasty than usual. Think I’ve become her new bullying target after she forced my co-worker out. Any advice? Obviously I need to job search. I’ve been there over a decade with this same hot-and-cold boss so what do I do about reference, etc.?

    Reply ↓
    1. KitKat*

      Hopefully someone with similar experience chimes in :) Generally I’d say not to worry yourself too much about references, you can explain when you’re in the process. If you can it would be great to be able to offer a trustworthy coworker or former coworker who you’ve worked closely with, especially if they are senior to you, and double especially if they are also a people manager.

      Reply ↓
    2. MigraineMonth*

      It’s almost always the case that you can’t use your current manager as a reference, and fortunately most places hiring completely understand that. Are there any coworkers (or better, former coworkers) who had any supervisor-like role with your work? Project managers, team leads, seniors in your role, grand-bosses, etc? Those references will carry a lot more weight than a same-level coworker.

      Reply ↓
  75. Syl*

    I started a new job this week! It is a 6 month contract with potential to be hired permanently.

    1. When should I ask about becoming permanent? I will need to start looking in about 3.5 months if they are going to let me go.

    2. Give me all your tips on doing my best so they hire me permanently! It seems like a great place to work so far.

    Reply ↓
    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      A six month contract is one where they should assume you’re still looking for work regardless of whether or not they plan to hire you on permanently. If they can’t give you that assurance, then it’s unreasonable for them to think you’re not looking.

      That said, I’d probably follow up 1-2 months in advance? Or if you have a mid-contract check-in with your boss to see how it’s going, ask then in a “I’ve really enjoyed working here so far and feel like I’m really contributing re: XYZ, so I wanted to chat about the possibility of me staying on past the end of my contract date.”

      Before doing that, though, I would get a better sense of what “potential to be hired permanently” means in this case. Is it hired into the same role? Do they just mean there may be jobs available at the end of six months somewhere in the company that you’d be welcome to apply to? Something else? I’ve hired a lot of contract staff over the years and I always wanted to be clear that while they wouldn’t turn into permanent employment, they were welcome to apply for other jobs that might open up (but there were no guarantees that they’d get them).

      Reply ↓
    2. cat herder*

      Congrats!!! Having done temp-to-perm successfully myself, my advice is:

      1. Be eager to learn, ask questions to clarify if you’re not sure about something, and have a positive attitude. (Which is kind of “duh” at every new job, but I had to say it.)

      2. Depending on your role (I have an admin support background), if you find yourself with downtime, ask your manager if there’s more for you to take on once you’ve got your core job duties under control. Most places have back-burner / low urgency projects and are grateful when the new person steps in and offers to help with the backlog.

      3. Ask for feedback after 30 days, 60 days, 90 days (one or all three, depending on your new job’s culture — read the room and act accordingly). It shows you’re invested to getting off on the right foot, and are are being proactive to set yourself up for a future there.
      Side note about feedback: try to think of any less-than-positive feedback as constructive criticism, rather than simply “bad”. Assume that the person delivering it (manager, colleague) cares enough to see you succeed that they’re having the awkward conversation with you at all. That mentality has really helped me correct my thinking about my own mistakes, actively correct my behavior down the road, and maintain a good attitude at work (and also not berate myself for making mistakes — being a human is messy sometimes, and that’s OK!). Remember to be kind to yourself. :)

      3. This depends heavily on your manager’s vibe (feel them out), but if you have a good rapport with them, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be direct in this situation and ask a few months in what the read is on a permanent placement, especially if you’ve been getting great feedback, feel like you’ve gotten the hang of the job, and are meshing well with the team.

      4. Sorry/not sorry but it doesn’t hurt to hedge your bets and start looking/applying to other stuff after 4 months. You’ll feel better about the whole situation, even if they do absolutely love you, you’re killing it, and they hire you FT. :) Best of luck!!

      Reply ↓
    3. Kay*

      Others have given great pointers but I’ll add one thing.

      Can you get a feel from the employees who work there on how this usually plays out? They will often be more willing to tell you if this particular company always fires the contractor at the 6 month mark so they don’t have to (insert reasonable practice here) or if it is more of a formality. Really pay attention to body language and the actual language they use here. Obviously I would keep looking in this market no matter what because that timeframe is too short to risk your livelihood on a company that wants to try you out instead of hiring you from the get go.

      Reply ↓
  76. Helly R*

    Anyone have advice on attempting to return to a former company? I left this company about a year and a half ago to pursue grad school, but that didn’t end up working out. I left on really positive terms, and I’ve continued to freelance for my former team regularly (on a weekly basis). I’ve had a sudden change in financial circumstances and need a staff role (freelance won’t cut it anymore). I see the company published a job listing two days ago for a role on my old team with a similar title to what mine was. The responsibilities are slightly different, but I still think I’m a solid candidate for the role. I’m just not sure how to approach my old manager/team, so would love any thoughts from the group!

    Reply ↓
    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I’ve gone back to a former company, though not to a similar role. I think if you’re still freelancing for the former team, then they’re still highly familiar with your work and it would be totally fine to reach out to the manager and say “Hey, I saw this job got posted and I’d love to put my hat in the ring!” If they ask why, just say you’re looking for something more stable/consistent/whatever than the freelancing is able to give you and you’d love to work with the old team again.

      And then just apply as normal if they don’t give you any weird vibes about it.

      Reply ↓
    2. bananners*

      Sort of similar – I left my unit for another (big university, so kind of like leaving the company). There was a job I’d be a good fit for back in my old department but under a different boss. I just reached out to my old boss via email and asked what they knew about it because I was looking to make a change and would love to be back in my old unit. In my case, my old boss didn’t know anything about it but asked the hiring manager and gave him a great recommendation for me before I even applied. I think it’s totally normal networking especially since you left on positive terms and are still in regular contact with them.

      Reply ↓
    3. Defective Jedi*

      I’ve gone back to the same company several times after changes in circumstances and it was no big deal. Caramel & Cheddar’s phrasing is great – good luck!

      Reply ↓
    4. Starbuck*

      Go for it! I’d apply through whatever formal process there is and then probably also send a note to your old manager if that’s who is still involved there with a note about how you’ve been looking to get back into full time work and were excited to see the X position posted and have applied for it. Presumably you’re in regular communication with them anyway if you’re freelancing.

      Reply ↓
  77. HistoryChick*

    I’ve been applying for jobs for the past 3 years. I have a job that is fine right now. But there was a period of time that was truly terrible and caused me to go out on a medical leave for a bit. That said, the company did manage the issues and actually got rid of the problem executives and I’ve been impressed that the Board is listening to the employees, even if it took time. That said, I don’t entirely trust the company and it’s time to move on. I give this back story to say I haven’t been applying to anything and everything. I’m trying to only apply to jobs I think I’d excel in and that I’d like. Last year I applied to 45 jobs, I only went through an interview process at one company (and that was bc I had a friend with influence making sure I got an interview). In the end that job went to an internal candidate. Everything else I was rejected or didn’t hear anything in response. Sometimes I am rejected immediately or within a day. It’s to the point where I think it’s me. I think I’m doing something wrong. I just got sent a job listing from my mentor at her company. She sent my resume to the director hiring. (For the record he didn’t respond to her reach out in any kind of way – encouraging or discouraging.) I officially applied in the system last night at 9:30 p.m. and by 9:30 a.m. I was marked in the system as inactive and not under consideration. I thought for this one I’d at least get an interview because I tried this one through “my network” and not just cold applying. I know without anyone seeing my resume and cover letter and application, you can’t say what I’m doing wrong. But – what am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me? I’ve worked and reworked my resume. I’ve tried to follow all the AMA advice. I write a custom cover letter for everything I apply for. I’m just feeling so dejected and any advice would be great.

    I do have a job – although an unstable one that has impacted my health. I do know so many people are out of work and even more with the federal layoffs so I am writing from a place of privilege. Maybe I’m just hoping for words of encouragement.

    Reply ↓
    1. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I don’t think you’re alone in what you’re experiencing, so it’s not just you.

      I would follow up with your mentor about that job, though, because it’s super annoying when someone deliberately reaches out to you (not the other way around) and then something like this happens. Did she misunderstand the job? Was there a key requirement they wanted that you didn’t have? Is she not well regarded there herself so her recommendation doesn’t carry much water? It’s the one place you have an in and I’d be curious if she could shed any light on what happened, and how you might have been able to position yourself differently (if at all).

      Reply ↓
    2. Hlao-roo*

      A few thoughts:

      1 – Do you know how hiring is in your industry in general right now (assuming the company you currently work for and the places you’ve been applying to are in the same general industry)? Have you heard that positions at your current company have been swamped with applicants? Do you know anyone who works in a hiring/management position at another company in your industry who could give you a general feel for things (ex. do the positions you’re targeting generally have 5 applicants or 500 applicants)? Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s tough out there for everyone right now.

      2 – If you do know anyone who works in a management/hiring role in your industry, can you ask them to take a look at your resume/one of your cover letters to see if there’s anything glaring that’s holding you back? Again, maybe there is and maybe there isn’t.

      3 – Is there any pattern to the “rejected immediately” jobs? If you’re applying to places with an online application that asks some screening questions along the lines of “are you authorized to work in the United States?” and “do you have a college degree?” and you answer “no” to any of them, that will (usually) knock your application out of consideration immediately. This can be horribly unfair in some cases (I think after a certain amount of work experience a college degree is pretty irrelevant for many roles, for example) but if that’s how the ATS is set up there’s not a lot you can do about it.

      4 – Rejection (and non-responses) are dejecting! Maybe it’s time to take a few weeks or a month off from job searching? Your job right now is fine, so some time off from the grind of job searching could help with the feelings of dejection. Intentionally spend some of your no-long-job-searching personal time on hobbies you find fulfilling and spending time with friends and family. Refill your cup before you continue on with your search.

      Good luck out there!

      Reply ↓
    3. DisneyChannelThis*

      Have you had a friend check over your resume? How are your cover letters? You may have too many typos or an outdated format or something like that that’s moving you into the reject pile. Get a real person to look at it with you!

      Things I look for when helping a friend with a resume:
      No actual address (maybe a city); No summary/objective line (wastes space not relevant); No photo/marital info; no high school info; no clubs/hobbies info; no irrelevant memberships (professional org yes, bowling league no); no religious or political references; No font changes except size and maybe bold/italics; consistent margins/spacings/indents (easy to scan/read).

      Does it have: phone + email (personal but professional, gmail, not aol); job titles and an achievement per job with years; education highest degree (no gpa if non entry level); additional degree only if adds something (math phd dont list math masters, math phd do list engineering masters);

      Job specific: Do the key skills named in the job ad make an appearance? Good at public speaking in job ad, make sure one of my job title achievements includes something about presenting (Increased community engagement by presenting in regular town hall meetings).

      But most importantly: Is it easy to get all the relevant info in 30 seconds or less -> if no, how can we reduce complexity and rearrange it.

      “What’s wrong with me” – shouldn’t even be a question you ask yourself when it’s your resume getting kicked out. But also therapy

      Reply ↓
      1. Chauncy Gardener*

        Came here to say this. And also email your resume to yourself and a friend or two. You’d be surprised how formatting can change.

        Reply ↓
    4. Busy Middle Manager*

      No one hiring and ghost jobs is your problem. Not sure if this will make you feel better or worse – but google BLS (Bureau of Labor statistics) reports. For example, “THE EMPLOYMENT SITUATION — JANUARY 2025.” You will see most jobs created have been in hospitality, food, and healthcare.

      Many sectors such as Accounting have basically been flat.

      My opinion is, it will be good if this is just the beginning of a recession. The real scary situation will be if this is a structural change and jobs just don’t come back.

      Reply ↓
    5. A Book about Metals*

      I think it really might not be you. This just seems so common right now. Believe it or not yours are rookie numbers compared to others I’ve seen – applying for hundreds or even thousands of jobs with very few interviews. It’s obviously industry and region dependent, but this is not unique to you!

      Reply ↓
  78. Interviewee9000*

    Is this a red flag?

    The job description listed telecommuting as one of its benefits, but, during the interview, I was told this particular position would be onsite only. The interviewers did ask to ensure if I would be okay with this and whether I’m still interested, but I feel iffy about it.

    Reply ↓
    1. Annony*

      I wouldn’t consider it a red flag considering they were upfront about it. Definitely a sign to withdraw if telecommuting was important to you but if you don’t mind being onsite only I don’t think it affects anything. Often the person writing/posting the job description is not actually the manager of the position and can get things wrong so I would not assume intentional deception to increase the applicant pool. It wouldn’t work since anyone who wants telework would just withdraw their candidacy.

      Reply ↓
    2. Caramel & Cheddar*

      I think workplaces love to use job posting templates and only tweak things like requirements or responsibilities, so it’s very possible the telecommuting thing was left in by mistake or that they mean something differently by it, so I would consider it a yellow flag for sloppiness.

      Did you have the opportunity to ask for clarification? e.g. “The posting online listed telecommuting as a benefit, but you mentioned this role is 100% onsite. Can you clarify how the telecommuting works in that case?” Like, maybe they mean it’s a once a month thing, maybe they’ll have a sudden realisation they didn’t mean to leave it in the posting, maybe they’re confused about what job they’re hiring for, etc.

      Reply ↓
    3. MigraineMonth*

      Maybe a small yellow flag. I’d ask for an explanation of why the role was different from the description and pay attention not just to the reason but the tone of the response.

      I’d also keep an eye out for any other deceptive practices to see if this is a sign of a pattern.

      Reply ↓
    4. Qwerty*

      Given how open they were about it, it reads to me as an oversight. Probably the position used to be remote, there are multiple positions which use the same JD, or they used a different job’s posting as the template and didn’t think to check the benefits section.

      As a hiring manager, I’m also amazed at how many mix-ups there are between my conversations with the recruitment team and what actually gets posted.

      Reply ↓
  79. but I'm le tired*

    Has anyone here used fiverr or taskrabbit or a similar site for doing freelancing? I’ve been going back and forth on freelancing on fiverr; I came up with something I can do that would fit my schedule, but I’m not sure how much demand there is (there are 2 other people on fiverr offering the same thing), and even if I did get demand… I’m not sure doing 1-2 commissions for 10 bucks each, where fees are 20%, is actually worth the time it takes for me get everything set up and then just … wait for people to contact me, and then have to get back to them within a set period of time, not knowing when or if things will come in. And it’s like, at most I think in a year I might make 100 bucks, because the amount of money coming in from this is going to be so low per commission.

    Does anyone have direct experience with doing this? Is it worth it? The thing I decided to do — let’s say resume review — is something I can do in enough time that charging people $10 for a short resume and $30 for a long resume — is within minimum wage, if we do not assume 20% taken out and then any taxes after that.

    Reply ↓
    1. Shutterdoula*

      Those places are where all the cheapskates go – I wouldn’t go there unless you want to participate in the race to the bottom of the income pile.

      Reply ↓
    2. Kay*

      Definitely account for taxes and anything else being taken out, as you are going to get some weird people who are going to inevitably put a dent in your profitability. I’ve personally never used them, and all the people I know who do are working for absolute peanuts while constantly complaining about it. (when in your country working for $2/hr is acceptable, that says something about your competition) Unless your thought process is “anything is better than zero” I personally wouldn’t do it, and I would charge a reasonable amount. If you are serious about the $100/year figure that is a pretty tough sell.

      Reply ↓
  80. C*

    Updating my resume due to layoff concerns and trying to figure out how to reflect my current position. I took a lateral transfer last year where my job title was the same but my duties are different enough to be notable. (Think something like I’m a book editor who changed from the young adult fiction department to college textbooks). I just recently got a promotion, but my duties won’t really change. I’m trying to figure out how to reflect both my internal transfer and promotion in a way that isn’t confusing.
    My best idea so far is like this:

    Teapots Publishing

    Senior Editor, Textbooks Month 2025-present
    Editor, Textbooks Month 2024-Month 2025
    -Bullets

    Editor, Young Adult Month 202x-Month 2024
    -Bullets

    Is this clear enough?

    Reply ↓
  81. noncommitally anonymous*

    I’ve written in before about how my direct boss left, and I’ve been doing her job for the past 8 months. I have a colleague who also reported to my former boss – he and I are at the same level, but he works very part-time, having retired as a EVP at a large corporation. We’re in academia, so his transition was, to put it mildly, rough. Former boss had to tell him several times that I am not his secretary and he can’t expect everyone around him to kowtow to his ideas and pick up balls that he drops. (He once tried to get a Vice-Provost to do some administrative work for him. It went badly.)

    We finally got word that former boss’ position is about to be advertised. I’m planning on applying. The person running the search mentioned off-hand in a meeting that she’s already gotten a couple of resumes, despite the position not being posted. These have to be industry buddies of my colleague’s who have gotten a head start because he sent them the job ad before it was posted.

    I’m irritated. I know getting your resume in early doesn’t really translate to being more likely to be hired, but I really, REALLY don’t want to deal with one of these guys. I’m optimistic about my chances, but I know the Dean would prefer someone with some industry experience, and I don’t have any. OTOH, having no academic experience is likely to be problematic, as well. Plus, I’ve had my position for nearly 5 years and I think I’ve demonstrated an ability to form and maintain industry contacts. Former boss had a mixture of academia and industry, but was something of a unicorn in that.

    I’m just desperately hoping that if I don’t get the job, it’ll go to someone I can work with.

    Reply ↓
  82. Purple Stapler*

    Can anyone recommend a decent wireless headset to be used for Teams calls? I’m not on them a ton so I don’t need something really pricey. I hate the awkward wired ones the office provides. Thanks!

    Reply ↓
      1. Purple Stapler*

        I’d prefer earbuds, the ones with silicone tips. I love my Apple AirPod Pro 2, but they don’t play well with the Windows PC at work and they end up unpaired from my iPhone whenever I’d tried to connect to work PC.

        Reply ↓
    2. 653-CXK*

      If you’re talking about the Logitech ones with the boom microphone, that barely fit your ears, and dig into your head, I’m with you.

      I often use the plug-in headphones, but Target has a decent pair of wireless earbuds that do work. I bought those for ~$25.00 a few months ago and they’re great.

      Reply ↓
    3. Rick Tq*

      I have a pair of JBL LIVE670nc headphones I really like. Not too expensive, bluetooth, good battery life, good microphone, and they are on the ear which works well with my hearing aids.

      Reply ↓
  83. hexagons*

    For electrical engineers in the comments: where do people in the industry look when job searching? My lab has been trying in vain for a few months to hire a front end electronics engineer for a project, but we’ve gotten next to no serious applicants. I know we’ve tried LinkedIn ads, as well as some academic job listing sites, but we’re at a loss for what to try next. Is it simply that there’s a dearth of people trained in FEE design, or are we just not getting to the right people? Any advice appreciated!

    Reply ↓
  84. Talk to HR or not?*

    I work at a nonprofit where things typically go smoothly with good systems, clear communication, and highly capable staff. I’m now having an issue with my manager and I’m trying to decide if I should discuss it with HR. I’ve been in the workplace overall for decades but have never been in a situation before where I’ve considered elevating something to HR.

    We hired a new C-suite chief for our fundraising department about six months ago after a lot of upheaval before that including a year with no one permanently in the role. She is on our executive team. Typically she would be my grandboss but I’m reporting to her directly for a few months until we replace my boss who retired. Overall she’s been great, which is why I’m on the fence.

    The issue is that she’s a micromanager. My peers and I understand that she has needed to immerse herself in our work to learn and we’ve of course involved her in everything. But after six months, she told me she needs to be in every meeting I have with another member of the executive team. She wants to be copied on any emails I send to any of them. She wants to review my emails to donors before I send them. And this is slowing our work down.

    As context, there are no issues with my performance. I’ve been in my field for many years and know how to communicate with donors. I also have been working closely with our program head for years directly, her peer in the C suite, for a long time. I know about the times when she needs to be involved and when she doesn’t. My peers are encountering the same challenges. Not only does it make us feel not trusted, but she’s too busy with the important parts of her job to do all these little things and it’s holding things up.

    While I personally will eventually report to my boss instead of her as my grandboss, this may continue. I’ve learned this is an issue for my peers as well, and one of them told me they have already talked to HR about our director for a related issue. HR is great and I trust them. Should I bring this up with them?

    Reply ↓
    1. Talk to HR or not?*

      One more thing. I can’t make most decisions on my own, either. For example, I accepted a meeting with someone on my team and others. It turned out when I attended that this particular one wasn’t relevant and I let her know about it to loop her in since she didn’t know about it. I was surprised when she asked why I accepted the meeting. I mean, this was a routine invitation for a topic I’m often involved in. It felt like an interrogation. She then said that I should check with her first when I get invited to meetings before accepting them.

      Reply ↓
    2. Chauncy Gardener*

      I would bring it up to HR as well. I think this will add weight to your coworker’s complaint. If others will go to HR as well, (see AAM’s advice on doing things as a group) they’ll be able to clearly see it’s just a personality conflict.

      Reply ↓
    3. Reba*

      In workplaces I’ve been in, this would be not an HR thing exactly but more something for whoever oversees your supervisor. But, I also think you should talk to this manager about it, too.

      Like, “Do you have any concerns about my communication or work generally? I have been writing emails to donors for over 10 years, and I’ve worked closely with X and Y directors very successfully. So it’s been a change for me to do [things she is asking for]. Is there something that makes you concerned about my work?” and then talk about the slowdown, and ask if she would be open to setting some new norms for reviews and checking in.

      Worth a shot. I suppose I don’t think it’s likely that she’ll change fundamentally, but if you do report this to some other authority figure they will probably ask if you have addressed it with the boss first. Good luck.

      Reply ↓
    4. Starbuck*

      Hmm…have you talked to the exec herself yet?

      “he told me she needs to be in every meeting I have with another member of the executive team. She wants to be copied on any emails I send to any of them. She wants to review my emails to donors before I send them”

      I’d give those examples and say something like, I understand you are taking on the supervisory role for my position while the role is unfilled, but this level of review is beyond what my previous boss required and seems to be slowing down x, y, z. – can you give context/reason for that. See how it goes.

      In the moment, have you tried a sequence like 1. Hey boss, here’s the email for X donor that we need to send out by the end of this week. 2. Bump it up once 3. Hey boss, since I haven’t heard from you on this one and it’s due tomorrow, I’m going to send as planned unless I hear otherwise from you

      Reply ↓
    5. Kay*

      Yes, talk to them. They can’t do anything about it if they don’t know there is an issue. If you stay quiet, when your new boss is hired it will likely take them a while before they decide to go to HR and HR might then think “but OP worked with her for X time and never said anything, it could be that the new boss is the problem!”

      I would also talk to her and use some of the framing others have suggested like “There have been delays when I’ve had to wait for approval on things. You may not know but I’ve been sending out donor letters and working closely with “other director” for years without having to obtain this kind of approval. I just want to make sure there isn’t a concern with my work and I wonder if you have any ideas on how we can streamline some processes so we can eliminate the delays we are seeing.” to see if you get any results there. Even if you do this I would also talk to HR because micromanagers typically don’t change coarse of their own accord and as a new employee HR would want to know of any issues, which it sounds like you and your peers are seeing many.

      Reply ↓
  85. DTC*

    How do you know when you’re taking too much sick leave? At your workplace, where would you guess the lines are between “normal sick leave” vs “you need a formal accommodation for a medical issue” vs “you need to drop to part-time”?

    When you answer, I’d appreciate if you could indicate your general field and level, so I can get an idea of what the different norms are across the working world.

    I’m a recent college grad working in academic research. I’ve recently developed three different chronic medical conditions that flare up to varying degrees, plus I’ve had more than my usual amount of infectious diseases/food poisonings/bureaucratic paperwork issues/etc. and I’m burning through PTO at a rate that’s making me worry about being taken seriously as a professional (and about whether I’ll ever be able to use vacation time to take an actual vacation!). Obviously I’d prefer not to discuss my medical issues with my boss unless strictly necessary, but I have no frame of reference for “strictly necessary” due to being so new.

    Thanks for your help!

    Reply ↓
    1. Qwerty*

      It really really varies, not just by industry but by company and sometimes project. Can you talk to HR directly? You don’t need to reveal anything at this time. Being new to the workforce is actually in your favor here. You can mention that you’ve had a run of bad luck healthwise and ask for help better understanding their policies around sick time so that you are handling everything appropriately. A call or meeting is best for this so that its a conversation.

      I’m in tech which is pretty easy since working from home is often an option. But my first year out of college I kept getting sinus infections and pneumonia. My talk with HR was super helpful despite her being a scary person and I actually got a little help finding a better primary care doctor.

      Reply ↓
    2. Mid*

      Normal amounts of sick leave vary SO much by industry and workplace, and even team to team in workplaces, so it’s really hard to give a good answer.

      If you’re working functionally 3/4 or half time, then you’re likely well into “needs a formal accommodation” territory, but it also depends on if the reason for your illnesses is something likely to continue at a similar frequency or if it’s going to decrease shortly. It also depends on if your work needs to be done in person/during business hours, or if there’s more flexibility available about when and where you get things done. Are you missing deadlines or having other performance issues? Are you managing your full workload or are other people having to cover for you?

      It’s likely a good idea to talk to your manager or HR about sick leave policies and see if it’s a good idea to get accommodations as you work to get your chronic conditions to a more manageable place. Academia can have more flexibility and tolerance than some corporate positions, but is also prone to politics and a bit of a martyr complex as well, so it’s really hard to guess what the situation is at your workplace. You don’t need to tell your boss about specific medical details, but letting them know you’re having health issues and are working to resolve them, and if possible, give some sort of timeline or expectations for your attendance moving forward. (And as someone with chronic health issues, I totally understand how unpredictable that can be! You aren’t committing to anything in stone, more giving a general idea of what’s going on and what you might need moving forward.)

      Also as a note, moving to part time might not be possible for your specific role. If you’re grant funded, you might not be allowed to go to part time to meet the requirements of the grant/study. So keep that in mind as well.

      Reply ↓
    4. Sloanicota*

      There’s nuance to my answer because one sucky thing is that newer/more junior staff get less leeway than people who have already demonstrated they are dedicated or valuable through past performance. And coverage based roles will also never have any leeway. White collar jobs generally more. But witness even in this blog we had a recent letter with people debating whether it was okay to take any PTO at all in your first six months / year,

      Reply ↓
    5. RagingADHD*

      Do you not know your PTO balances for the year? In my industry, you get allotted sick leave for the year, and if it looks like you’re going to use it up quickly for a chronic issue you talk to your manager and / or HR about applying for intermittent FMLA.

      You don’t have to say what the condition is, but you do need to give general info about the impact, like “I’m working with my doctor on some health issues that look like they may be chronic, and I’d like to get a plan in place so I don’t just burn through my sick leave and put the team in a bad situation.”

      Reply ↓
  86. JustaTech*

    Honestly, just want to vent, but maybe there’s a question in here somewhere.
    My company has recently started requiring that if you take sick leave your last working day before or after a holiday, you must have a “good excuse” or your holiday pay will be docked.
    As far as I can tell this is because there is part of the company that has a minimum number of people who must be at work in order for the plant to function, and some of those people were calling out sick to extend their holiday even after they had been denied time off.
    OK, fine, if we need coverage, we need coverage.

    But norovirus does not care that it’s the Friday before President’s day – and I had to take off the morning to care for my sick kid. But I came in for the afternoon (and this was clearly recorded on my PTO request sheet). (I am salaried and do not work at the plant.)
    But I got an email saying “do you have a doctor’s note for the four hours you missed?”

    Excuse me? A doctor’s note for 4 hours? Of course not, who has the time or money to get a doctor’s note for 4 hours of taking care of a not-that-sick-but-too-sick-for-school kid?

    The HR person was willing to accept that I had come in for the afternoon (and therefore was not taking an extended holiday), but what am I supposed to do if I have to take the whole day off for a sick kid? Photograph his diapers?

    This is why we have culture issues at my company, because they treat everyone like delinquent teenagers instead of working professionals.

    Reply ↓
    1. Chauncy Gardener*

      Geez. So why don’t they just, you know, actually manage the people who are calling out?
      Oh wait. If they did that, we might not have AAM….

      Reply ↓
      1. JustaTech*

        LOL. Seriously.
        Also, you’re allowed to have different rules for the people who work night shift 3-12s hourly than your salaried staff at another site.

        Reply ↓
    2. Seashell*

      I agree that it’s a silly policy. Some things don’t require a doctor’s visit.

      My only recommendations would be to try to get acquainted with the receptionists and nurses at the pediatrician’s office (sometimes they can help out in a pinch) or see if the doctor would take pity on you and send a note via email.

      Reply ↓
  87. Big Block of Cheese Day*

    I’ve been working for the US federal government for about 10 years, but not in an area that’s controlled by the executive branch thankfully.

    This seems stupid, but…. how do I know if there’s a union out there for people in my (mostly administrative) role? It’s never been brought up, and I don’t know if that’s because there’s not one, there’s one people in my office aren’t a part of, or because in general, I work in a state that’s kind of hostile to unions. Anyone have experience with something like this?

    Reply ↓
    1. Crashing into Middle Age*

      Do you get SF-50s? If so, check box 37. If you have 8888, you are not bargaining unit eligible (BUE). If you have 7777, you are BUE *but* are not currently represented by a union (but could organize to join one!). If you have a different code, that’s means you’re part of a bargaining unit. You do not have to be a dues paying member to be represented by the union*. There’s an OPM website you can search to find out your union based on that code. If you don’t get SF-50s, I’m not sure. But hope that helps some.

      *this is actually a union busting measure– unions have to represent all BUEs, whether or not people pay dues… which means people often don’t pay dues and unions are starved of funding. But if you’re in a bargaining unit, you benefit from any collective bargaining unit agreements, dues or no dues.

      Reply ↓
  88. Nurse Nunya*

    I’m a clinical coordinator at an ambulatory surgery center. I am fairly new to the role and will have been doing this for a year in April. I work on the pre-op and PACU side with no operating room experience, but it wasn’t needed because there is also an OR clinical coordinator. My manager had OR experience but no pre-op or PACU experience. I felt a little overwhelmed with everything she expected me to do but thought it was because I was new to the role and tried to hang in there. She went out on FMLA late September and I found out that she was basically having me do everything she should have been doing plus my responsibilities because I had to help the OR clinical coordinator learn how to do a bunch of things that she never had to do because they were the managers responsibility, the only difference is our areas of experience. The current director, my managers boss, never put an interim in place and continued to have us do everything plus learn how to do interviews, counsel employees, etc. When I ask for help I am treated like I should be doing all of this and not to ask for help. I am constantly crying from being overwhelmed and burned out because I feel like I am working all day every day to keep the unit running. I was off this past Thursday and four employees call out because of the snow and she kept texting me to come in. I had two doctors appointments that I could not cancel and would have ignored it but I got the message from one of the nurses there that I she was telling everyone that I was handling it and that I was supposed to be there. I share my schedule via outlook calendar, and I told her face to face earlier in the week that I was off and not to mention the sign on my door that said I was off. I’m at my wits end and have been applying for other jobs but nothing has called me back yet. Do I have any foot to stand on to go to HR about this? I’m lost at what I should do but I’m really going to have a mental breakdown soon.

    Reply ↓
    1. Always Tired*

      You absolutely should take this up the chain. It is ridiculous to have someone in your position take on so much managerial responsibility without compensation or relief. The Director should be taking on quite a few of those duties if they are unwilling to hire a temp for the manager role. It’s so egregious how medical settings have some of the worst treatment of workers, when patient’s lives are in their hands.

      Reply ↓
  89. Liz*

    I’m a masters’ student, finishing soon, who worked for several years in an NGO before going back to school. I’ve been looking for research/policy stuff in a nonprofit, or perhaps in state or local govt., but given the state of things its probably smart to diversify my applications. What are some industries where these skills could be transferable?

    Reply ↓
    1. Rick Tq*

      Your request doesn’t provide much information on the skills you are asking about. What is your Masters in? What did you do at the NGO, and what was its focus?

      Reply ↓
  90. Anon1234*

    Question for those who are neurodiverse

    How do you handle situations where people ask you what makes you so proficient/efficient at your work and it’s because of your neurodiversity but you can’t admit it because the field isn’t friendly to ND/Mental Health type issues

    So far I’ve been able to be coy about it but it’s coming to the point where people are starting to push past that and asking me to develop/deliver training etc

    Reply ↓
    1. Snow Angels in the Zen Garden*

      Are you able to be more specific about the part of your neurodiversity that makes you so good at it so we can better help with examples? For example, pattern recognition, a tool you use to overcome something, etc.

      Reply ↓
    2. RagingADHD*

      “I just find it very engrossing.”
      “I have a system that works for me. I’m not sure if it would work for anyone else.”
      “It was a lot of trial and error.”

      I would urge you to unpack your own thinking around your ND traits, though. They can predispose us to find some things easy that NT people find difficult (and vice versa), but if you are performing work, then you are using skills and processes that could at some level be described, demonstrated, or taught to others.

      If you aren’t comfortable developing training because you can’t articulate your methods, perhaps you could let someone shadow you and see if they can document parts of your process that could be replicated by others.

      I think it always behooves us to remember that ND traits are common human traits that everyone experiences to some degree, under some circumstances. It’s just that ND people experience them more frequently and intensely.

      Reply ↓
  91. Not That Kind of Doctor*

    I’m in communications. Today in a meeting a client honest to goodness said they prefer crummy slides because they’re more authentic. What were everyone else’s jaw droppers this week?

    Reply ↓
    1. Snow Angels in the Zen Garden*

      My retail clothing company held a workshop for part-time staff on how to improve our outfits to appear more inspirational to customers, especially by adding more layers and accessories. The two example ideal outfits would cost approximately $140 each AFTER our employee discounts. We make roughly $12-$13 hourly, and I am lucky if I get more than 10-12 hours a week.

      Reply ↓

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