should we get the day after the Super Bowl off, asked out on LinkedIn, and more

by Alison Green on February 5, 2025

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should we give everyone the day after the Super Bowl off?

I live in Chiefs territory and run a small business. My colleagues have requested that I close the office the day after the Super Bowl. I’m not inclined to grant this request, as our leave policies are very generous. I think everyone has plenty of time to take off if they choose. How common are Super Bowl office closures?

Not very common. It’s certainly a nice thing if you want to do it, but it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to use PTO if they want the day off.

Related:
is my employee lying about using sick time for the Super Bowl?

2. I was asked out on LinkedIn

I had a perfectly pleasant conversation with someone at a cafe I frequent near my workplace. We traded names and a few quips, and then my food was ready and I popped out after saying I’d see him around. I thought I heard him ask the cashier if I was single as I trotted out the door but shrugged it off, thinking it was for the best to not be too vain and I could have misheard (and I’ve never seen him before, despite the two of us apparently both being regulars). I’ve got a good rapport with the staff and figured there was no way I hadn’t mentioned my long-term partner at some point over the last two years I’ve worked in the neighborhood. Someone would tell him, right?

I proceeded to not think about it for the rest of the weekend, checked my email bright and early Monday morning, and found a very flirtatious message attached to a LinkedIn invite. That’s when I remembered I was wearing my branded work jacket that day. Heck.

Do I ignore it? Delete it? Take a hiatus from my favorite cafe and hope I don’t see him around the neighborhood? I can do all these things, I’ll just be depressed to take a hiatus from the best cappuccino in the neighborhood. I know it’s not a crime for someone to shoot their shot, but … agh! That’s my professional LinkedIn!

Yeah, it’s not great for someone to use a business networking site that way — especially if he did hunt you down via your branded work jacket. But it happens, and the social/work line on LinkedIn has been getting awfully blurry for a while.

There’s no reason you need to stop going to your favorite cafe. If he’s in any way creepy or harassing to you after this, you should feel free to inform the cafe where you’re both regulars, but otherwise you don’t need to plan on avoiding him; cross that bridge if and when you have to.

As for the message itself: if you prefer to ignore it, you can! Plenty of people don’t check their LinkedIn often or ever. That said, unless he’s given you a reason to think you would be better off not engaging, I’d figure a quick “no thanks” means that if you do run into him again, that will already be out of the way.

3. Company is trying to make low-performing coworkers job harder so they’ll quit

I was recently in a meeting with a senior manager. Although I’m not in management, the work I do requires working with them regularly and requires a certain level of confidentiality. Something that was mentioned outside of our work scope really bothered me: I had mentioned that I’d heard an employee a few levels below them was struggling. They told me that yes, that person’s manager was told to make their job difficult so they would quit. Hence why they were struggling.

This really bothered me from an ethical standpoint. And it’s actually the second time I’ve heard it, although there were some extenuating circumstances with the first person.

Is this a normal thing to do? Is this just bad management practice? I’ve managed people in the past and would not feel comfortable with this. To date this company has been great, but they do have a track record of not firing people despite years of repeated poor performance. You have to almost break the law for then to consider firing you. But this? It just feels wrong on so many levels.

Yes, it’s wrong, and it’s terrible practice. It’s terrible practice because it’s unethical and inhumane, and because it’s a fundamental dereliction of duty; managers are responsible for giving clear and actionable feedback, letting people know when they’re falling short, working to help them improve, and then letting them go if after that they’re not performing at the level needed.

It’s not at all surprising that an organization that won’t fire people would resort to this; both of those things (never firing, no matter how warranted, and mistreating someone until they leave on their own) are symptoms of management that’s incompetent and unable to appropriately exercise authority. (Also, what if the employee digs in and never leaves? Their manager will just accept bad performance forever, no matter how severe?)

You should be very, very wary of a company that operates like this.

4. Coworker is opening mail and packages addressed to me

Is it okay for a coworker to open work-related mail and packages that I have ordered and have my name on them? If it were me, I would just put the unopened package on the coworker’s desk but maybe I’m overreacting.

It depends on your company’s practices. From a legal standpoint, it’s fine; postal regulations say that mail delivered to an organization, even if addressed to a specific person, is delivered to the organization itself, and the organization can decide how to distribute it from there.

But is this person charged with opening and distributing mail for your company or are they just being nosy? If they are charged with it, you can try asking them to simply deliver your mail unopened, although it’s possible they’ve been specifically told they need to open things. On the other hand, if they’re just being nosy, you can ask them to stop.

5. The sleep shifts I depend on for income have been taken away

I have recently been covering in a different location due to the area needing a team leader. I work in care and often need to do sleep shifts (shifts where you sleep on-site so you are available in case of emergency). These sleep shifts have been a regular source of income for the past five years, and I depend on them to get by.

When my boss first approached me about covering in the new area, they made a verbal promise that I would still get my sleep shifts. But now, three months later, my sleep shifts are non-existent and I am losing wages that I desperately need.

My sleeps cover my car expenses and, as I am covering in a different area that requires me to drive there to work, I am afraid that when I get paid next I will be unable to get anywhere due to not being paid my promised sleeps. This would mean resigning, as I would not be able to travel to the area I am covering. The area I am covering in is 100 miles away from my normal place of work.

Because this is no fault of my own, would I be able to take my boss to court for lost earnings and essentially being forced out of a job due to my boss going back on their promise and making me quit due to my wages being severely cut through no fault of my own? I have a young family and this unexpected wage cut is going to severely affect me and my children.

There is another team leader who is also covering in the same area as me and is still getting there sleep shifts, so why have my sleep shifts been taken away and theirs haven’t? It feels like a personal attack, favoritism, and I am being set up to fail. I have approached my boss several times over this issue and I just get fobbed off each time.

There’s no legal cause of action unless (1) your sleep shifts were taken away for a discriminatory reason (like because of your race, gender, disability, or other protected characteristic) or as retaliation for exercising a legally protected right (like reporting harassment), or (2) you have a written employment contract promising those shifts for a specific period of time (although most U.S. workers don’t have contracts and I’m guessing you would have mentioned it if you did).

I know you said you’ve approached your boss about the issue, but have you spelled out explicitly that you literally can’t stay in the job without the sleep shifts? If not, it’s worth making that clearer (as long as it’s really true — you don’t want to say that if in reality you’d stay until you find something else).

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{ 35 comments }

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Jackie Daytona, Regular Human Bartender*

    How common are Super Bowl office closures?

    I’ve literally never heard of this and the request struck me as quite odd.

    I’m not a sportsball fan so maybe I’m missing something. Is there something about the Suberb Owl that it would make sense to close the next day?

    Reply ↓
    1. Person from the Resume*

      People are often up very late the night before. Lots of people in the city where the teams are from will be up late possibly extra late if their team wins and they celebrate.

      But anyone who’s a huge fan of has a big party planned can just take PTO.

      Might want to save the day off in case your teams wins and there’s a victory parade especially if the parade is near your office.

      Reply ↓
      1. Person from the Resume*

        Also for some reason the game starts far too late into the evening on a Sunday night! They should hold it on Saturday late afternoon or at the very least Sunday afternoon because many many many people go to Super Bowl parties.

        Reply ↓
        1. Mike*

          The game starts late because they don’t want it starting too early on the west coast. If you’re in CA, the game does start late afternoon. But I agree, there’s no reason it couldn’t start a couple hours earlier than it does – some regular season games start much earlier and people still watch them!

          Reply ↓
      2. Sans Serif*

        That’s what I was thinking. If you win, there’s going to be a parade, probably Wednesday or Thursday. You’re going to end up with people out for two days. If you really wanted to give an extra day off, give everyone a choice of the day after or the parade day.

        But this Eagles’ fan is letting you know that we’ll be the ones taking the Wednesday after the game off. :)

        Reply ↓
    2. Teapot Connoisseuse*

      The Superb Owl becomes very grumpy due to a sore head and there’s a risk of it attacking human prey in a similar way to, well, vampires (though those are, of course, entirely imaginary and don’t ever set themselves up as, um, bartenders).

      Reply ↓
    4. T’vana the Vulcan*

      It’s possible that the employees want to attend the (potential) victory parade that would take place if their team won. Also traffic. I wouldn’t find it odd if a business in either Kansas City or Philadelphia would close the next day, depending on how near they are to the parade route.

      Reply ↓
      1. Person from the Resume*

        I don’t think the victory parade is usually the very next day, but I suppose it depends on the city.

        Reply ↓
    5. Viette*

      It’s just that it’s a party, and the colleagues are expecting that if their specific local team wins, they’ll really party hard. No, it’s not normal to have the day off afterward any more than it is normal to have the day off any other large party.

      It is relevant that the LW’s local team is one of the teams in the Super Bowl. The idea is that if your local team wins, you will be happier and partying more than if you’re watching two teams not local/connected to you and one of them wins. I don’t know if that’s relatable to someone not a fan of sports or who dislikes sports beyond that people care a lot more about their local/family team than they do about the sport in general.

      Reply ↓
    6. Witch of Oz*

      In Victoria, Australia there are public holidays for: the AFL Grand Final and the Melbourne Cup (a horse race that takes about 3 minutes)!
      As a non Victorian I’m quite jealous!

      Reply ↓
      1. Elf*

        With the kicker being the AFL Grand Final public holiday is actually the day before the game! Theoretically for the parade that no one cares about.

        Reply ↓
      2. Teapot Connoisseuse*

        I still don’t understand why the Melbourne Cup is such a big deal in Aotearoa New Zealand. A 3-minute horse race in another country, more than 3 hours away by plane.

        Reply ↓
    7. RCB*

      I’m a pretty liberal boss and like to be as generous as possible with time off, and even I would struggle to approve this. The big exception to this would be if our home team was one that rarely went to the Super Bowl so this was a pretty big deal for us, then I think I’d be more in favor as I know that it’s much more likely that everyone is watching it, even non sports fans, because it’s (community) history as well.

      Reply ↓
  2. Ninersfsn*

    Regarding OP 1- there’s a big difference between Giving your company the day off after the Super Bowl just because it’s the Super Bowl, and giving your company The day off because one of your cities teams is playing in the Super Bowl. Here in San Francisco the times that the Niners went to the Super Bowl. I don’t know if any place that insisted people come into work on Monday. OK probably banks, etc. that couldn’t close, but when your team is in the Super Bowl, it’s a bigger deal than just the fact that it’s happening.

    Reply ↓
    1. MK*

      So thr city semi-closes down? Also, there is a difference between not insisting that people come to work and closing down the workplace. Are you sure the businesses that are closed on that day actually gave workers an extra day off instead of just having the employees take PTO?

      Reply ↓
      1. Alz*

        Yeah, this. If you were feeling generous then announcing that everyone who wants it can take leave would be nice. In my job we don’t need coverage as such but my immediate team still tries to coordinate leave so there is someone around. Obviously depends on the business though- if there is a critical mass of people required to stay open then that wouldn’t work.

        And, as a non-sport fan I would be put out if I had to take a leave day at short notice just because everyone else was out if it is a bonus then yay but all my leave is earmarked for trips and family things

        Reply ↓
    2. dz*

      I’ve had many jobs in Boston and never got the day after the Superbowl off. Maybe because the Pats were in it so often ;)

      Reply ↓
  3. Oniya*

    LW1 – I can assure you that certain businesses will not only *not* close the day after the Superb Owl, but will reopen *right after the game* if the local team wins. My place of business has been announcing this practice to all our customers, and I expect there are outlets in your area doing the same.

    All depends on what industry you’re in.

    Reply ↓
  4. Jillian with a J dammit*

    #4 Early in my career, one of my assigned tasks was to open, sort, and distribute mail to about 60 people. (I handled accounts payable and all the bills were mine to deal with). By “open”, they really meant open everything – even if marked personal or confidential, since most of those were for HR from people seeking employment. Most of the time I could just slit open the envelope without looking at the contents. But EVERY DAMNED DAY, I had more than one person yell at me for opening mail addressed to them. All I could do was refer them to the CEO who gave me the instruction.

    Reply ↓
      1. Ellis Bell*

        Not the original commenter, but back in the day when I was office junior, it was far more efficient to just open all of the post and distribute based on contents, rather than read the envelopes. This felt strange at first, but it’s how I was taught to do it and I quickly saw the sense in it. A lot of office post was addressed to the wrong person, because people had put on the names of predecessors who had left, or who were still with us, but had moved into a different role. Sometimes responsibility for x type of mail has shifted from x team to y team, without the sender becoming aware. Occasionally you would see a personal item (hard to explain, or even remember how I would know, but it was usually pretty obvious when an item was personal rather than work related), and those were typically the only items I wouldn’t open before sorting.

        Reply ↓
  5. Mike*

    #1 – how small of a business are you talking, and how many of the employees want the day off? If it’s enough that the business can’t really function if they all take the day, you might consider closing the office and charging everyone’s PTO for the day instead. For anyone who wanted to work and keep their PTO, make sure there is work they can do with specific deliverables (so you know they actually did something) and don’t charge those employees for the day.

    Reply ↓
  6. Double A*

    I wonder if LW #5 is getting reimbursed for mileage and if not if they could inquire about that. Between the lost shifts and the massively increased commute (I’m assuming this is a lot farther than your normal office), you’re losing a lot of money. Could you asked about mileage reimbursement and if they won’t do that, can you tell them you can no longer cover in the second location?

    Reply ↓
  7. Looper*

    LW1- It’s not a “thing”, but since you’re in KC-zone, if you have a significant number of employees interested in having the day off and there would be minimal business impact, would it really hurt? That said, this isn’t 2020. They’ve won 3 of the last 5 Super Bowls so this isn’t a particularly unique opportunity for civic pride.

    Reply ↓
  8. Nodramalama*

    Lol LW1 reminds me of when Australia’s prime minister Bob Hawke said that any employer who didn’t let people take the day off after watching Australia win the America’s cup was a bum.

    Reply ↓
    1. MK*

      He sounds like one himself; he is prime Minister he can declare a public holiday if he wants to, instead of trying to shame businesses into closing.

      Reply ↓
      3. Daria grace*

        Public holidays in Australia have substantial legal implications (most notably that employers are obligated to pay anyone working that day substantially increased rates and employees have some rights to refusing unnecessary demands to work through a public holiday) so declaring a random public holiday at very short notice is not something that can be done. Then there’s that the Australian prime minister doesn’t have powers to unilaterally degree stuff without putting it through the parliamentary process like is possible some places

        Reply ↓
  9. Chocolate Teapot*

    I remember there was talk in the UK about days off if the men’s and women’s football teams won their respective finals, but in both cases they came second to Spain.

    The only other example of days off I can think of are for major royal events such as William and Kate’s wedding and the funeral of Elizabeth II, which were planned some time in advance.

    Reply ↓
    1. Disappointed Australien*

      My mind can’t help comparing that to the monarch’s birthday public holiday. “Regardless of when she actually dies, we declare the 16th of August 2030 a public holiday to commemorate her death”.

      In Aotearoa someone commented that if they’d known we got a public holiday every time one dies they would have expedited a whole series of them. And then the King died and we didn’t get a public holiday. It’s not racist, but.

      Reply ↓
  10. Indolent Libertine*

    LW2 – Respond, briefly and to the point, as if *of course* he’ll find it totally reasonable for you to decline (as he should). “This was… unexpected. I’m with a long-term partner. I’m sure we’ll run into one another at Cafe Whoozit one of these days. Best, LW2.” And then block or ignore from there.

    Reply ↓
  11. Irish Teacher.*

    LW1 reminds me of the school I did my teaching practice in. At the end of the year, the principal put a note up on the whiteboard in the staffroom, asking for suggestions for what days the school should close the following year and somebody wrote, “take the Monday after the All-Ireland hurling final off.” Then there was a reply under it, asking, “have ye given up on the (Gaelic) football?” and another suggesting, “take the Mondays after both finals off.”

    But they were jokes (I think) and pretty sure the school didn’t close for either. I don’t know much about the Super Bowl, but I think it’s reasonable enough to expect people to use PTO.

    Reply ↓

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