the luxury cabin, the clueless Christmas card, and other stories of wildly out-of-touch company executives

by Alison Green on February 5, 2025

Last week we talked about out-of-touch executives. Here are 12 of the most outrageous stories you shared. (Also, if you’ve never wanted to eat the rich before, warning that you might after reading these stories.)

1. The renovation

The head of the org I work for has been complaining about his home renovations for months. I get it, he had to move out of his house and … (checks notes) into the *other* property he owns.

This has been happening while several employees are dealing with being illegally ousted from their rentals due to landlords not legally following the lead abatement process. But yes, your kitchen renovation that you chose to do, and temporary move into your own home is also clearly traumatic too.

2. The photo

I worked at a company once where every year the owners would throw a party right before Christmas. To be fair, it was nice. It was a two-hour catered lunch in outside tents, and they honored all the employees who hit milestones. However, where they were a bit out of touch was with their gifts for the milestones. Mostly it was branded stuff, but I remember one year for the person who had been with the company 20 years, the owners praised the employee and then started talking about how they, the owners, always go on vacation to beautiful locations and how they wished they could share that with everyone. At this point, my friend is convinced this lucky employee is about to get tickets for a trip or a cruise or similar. But nope! What the employee got for their 20-year anniversary with the company was a framed photo collage of the owner’s vacation, complete with the owners in shot.

3. Calling in “cold”

We got a very stern lecture about the importance of coming into the office and mandatory in-person attendance from an exec who was herself calling in remotely (to the mandatory, in-person meeting) because it was “too cold.”

4. The luxury cabin

In 2020 I was working at a place with a VERY unpopular leader, who decided to pass the pandemic by renting a luxurious cabin in the mountains for her family (she had college aged kids who were normally away). Every all staff meeting she would dial in with the giant stone fireplace in the background and talk about how wonderful it was to spend this precious time with her family and luxuriating in nature.

You can imagine how well this went over with the rest of the staff, many of whom were separated from their family and friends, had sick loved ones, etc. Most of us did NOT have the resources to relocate to a luxury vacation rental!

5. The recommendation

During his first all staff meeting, the COO said he had taken the last two years off before this job and that he highly recommended we all do it.

6. The car delivery

Large local employer was failing, pretty spectacularly. My spouse was still working there and I had left about a year earlier. Many, many people in the community had purchased stock (and were watching the stock prices tumble).

During the week of another round of layoffs, the relatively new CEO had her brand-new luxury vehicle delivered to the main office (which was nearly all windows). It was unloaded right out front in the fire lane while employees watched. My spouse was not certain, but felt it was utter cluelessness, rather than dickishness.

7. The Christmas card

For Christmas 2008, when the Great Recession was kicking into high gear, our CEO had a Christmas card made that was a cut-out hanging mobile of the places around the world he and his family had visited in 2008, with illustrations of cities and airplanes and his family. That went over well.

8. The trivia game

The CEO of our division just had an all-hands meeting, where we had to play trivia about her. Vote on where she was born, how many coffees she drank per day, and which netflix shows she binged. Twenty minutes of that, with thousands of employees. One of the most tone deaf and expensive meetings I’ve ever been to, especially since there was nothing about our business strategy or results.

9. The “opportunity”

VP said in a staff meeting that another VP’s recent death was an opportunity to reorganize.

10. The tip

During Covid, my country was in extended lockdown. We had an all-hands meeting intended to be a check-in on our welfare, where a senior staff member shared their tips on managing working remotely. Their tip was to keep their work items like their headset in a little bag, so whichever room in the house they were working from, they could take the bag and be sure they had everything they needed with them.

We had junior staff living in shared houses, working standing up over an ironing board because they didn’t have any private space other than their own tiny room, which was too small to even fit a table. Leaving work items in other rooms of our large homes was not something that was a cause for concern for most of us.

11. The women’s talk

The CEO gave a talk to our women’s professional group. So: the audience was his female employees. When asked about women that had helped shape his career, he couldn’t name any and said something along the lines of “all the women i’ve ever worked with got pregnant and stopped working.”

12. The rock star

I used to work at a place where the CEO would come into an all-hands meeting with flashing lights and loud music playing (Rocky theme song maybe? I forget) and all the employees were supposed to applaud and cheer.

You may also like:
{ 212 comments }

{ 212 comments… read them below or add one }

      2. MissMuffett*

        Yeah that one was … something. And then it almost gets topped by the mobile christmas card. What is it with these people that they think we want mementos of THEIR vacations?!

        Reply ↓
        1. Admin of Sys*

          That’s the bit that keeps throwing me! I kind of get (but don’t sympathize) clueless folks who don’t recognize their privilege, but who in the world thinks other people want commemorative items for other people’s vacations? That’s not even a ‘my boss went to wherever and all I got was this stupid tshirt’ souvenir!

          Reply ↓
            1. ferrina*

              Yeah, this is the rich people version of showing you their slides.
              But showing their slides at an event recognizing someone else?!?

              Reply ↓
              1. Kes*

                To me this is worse than that. With someone you know reasonably well, you might be interested in seeing pictures of their vacation. But in no case is pictures of someone else’s vacation a reward

                Reply ↓
            2. JustaTech*

              I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed a few “slideshows of my latest vacation”, but in every case it’s been family or close family friends who went somewhere with great animals, so it was really “who wants to see a Galapagos tortoise?” and not “Here’s us in front of a cafe near the Eiffel Tower”.

              But unless you’re a professional wildlife photographer, no, I don’t want to *have* those pictures!

              Reply ↓
      4. Jeff Vader*

        I try to be polite, but if that happened to me I’d probably ask the numpty owner “what the funk is this sheet ?”

        Reply ↓
      5. Dadjokesareforeveryone*

        Time for that employee to ora time their comedy routine. “Thanks boss, I never knew I needed this gift in my life. I still don’t”.

        Reply ↓
      6. Can’t think of anything clever*

        I collect Hard Rock pins. If my boss gave me one from a place I hadn’t been to I might think better than a plaque but what in the world do I do with vacation photos of people I don’t know? My most clueless boss wasn’t that bad!

        Reply ↓
    2. Deborah Markus*

      I just screamed to my spouse (who just read the list) “that’s not even a gift you should give to a FRIEND”

      and then I thought “unless, you know, you’re hoping they’ll ghost you”

      Reply ↓
  2. crying in chicago*

    #4 reminds me of March 2020 when the company I worked at went remote and team leads were trying to figure out some “team building” we could do while WFH. They came up with the idea of “MTV cribs”-style tours of everyone’s homes via Zoom … until I (and a few other folks) pointed out that it might be a little uncomfortable to see how fancy the executives’ homes were vs., say, a junior employee who shared an apartment with 3 roommates.

    Reply ↓
    1. I'm just here for the cats!!*

      Someone on my team had that thought too and it gave me anxiety. I was the lowest paid person in my team, and I don’t want to have to clean and tidy my house for work.

      Reply ↓
      1. ferrina*

        I’ve got kids. Everything is a mess. No way I’m giving anyone a tour. (though sometimes I work from a different spot, and my walls are painted different colors, which amuse my colleagues.)

        Reply ↓
        2. Phony Genius*

          Could be worse. I was listening to a music station on the radio when the female DJ was doing the news break. One of the stories was the death of “Kim Jong the Second,” as she thought “Il” was a Roman numeral 2.

          Reply ↓
    3. FricketyFrack*

      I said, “What in the Justin Hammer?” to myself reading it, but I forgot (or just blocked out for my own sanity) that we have real people like that. Elon really is a Justin Hammer, though, even though he thinks he’s Tony Stark – his products are all worse versions of something else, he’s smarmy and hateable, and he’s convinced he’s the true genius and everyone loves him.

      Reply ↓
      1. Chirpy*

        He thinks he’s Tony Stark (that Iron Man 2 cameo was cringey even at the time!) but in reality he’s Lex Luthor.

        Reply ↓
    4. AnonAnon*

      I’m the LW. Wasn’t anyone in the public eye. Although his company was an green energy darling of a couple of presidents.
      Every single all hands meeting he did this, to a different song.
      He refused to speak to anyone in HR or Finance, because they were all “useless overhead”
      I heard him speaking to his wife on his cell phone as he strode through the cube farm I was in and it was SO awful.

      Reply ↓
      1. Velawciraptor*

        Finance? Was useless overhead? I’ve seen that attitude about HR–wrong, but not surprising. But FINANCE? Useless overhead? What the entire hell?

        Reply ↓
      2. Calamity Janine*

        so we should not only get a bouquet of cute pet pictures for you in order to thank you for your service, but also a corsage of pepto bismol? makes total sense to me,

        Reply ↓
      3. I feel gross now*

        There have been some wild stories but this particular collection actually made me nauseous. Reading through all of them and choosing must have been brutal.

        Reply ↓
      4. Wendy Darling*

        This is why I do not want to eat the rich. My opposition is purely on the basis of I don’t think they would be tasty OR nutritious.

        Perhaps we should just send them all to Mars, they seem into Mars.

        Reply ↓
    4. Beveled Edge*

      Halfway through I was wishing there had been a trigger warning. I should have waited to get this mad until later.

      Reply ↓
    1. CeeDoo*

      That was my take, as well. Not only did he not receive a trip, but he received a photo collage of someone else’s trip. I’d rather have a water bottle with the company logo on it.

      Reply ↓
      1. Le Sigh*

        I read that one with my mouth agape. I had a much smaller version of this happen to me when I was a kid — parents kept talking about a big present I would like, and I was certain it was the thing I *really* wanted. Except when I opened it, it was a gag gift and I was crestfallen.

        But even as a kid, I knew it wasn’t intentional, they were being goofy and didn’t realize, and it was a relatively small gift. The person in #2 …. that was a public slap in the face.

        Reply ↓
        1. ferrina*

          Oof. I hope your parents were properly apologetic and got you a lovely gift to make up for it!
          I had a parent that liked to do weird gifts. It wasn’t even thoughtful, it was just stuff that they had grabbed in the checkout line. One year I had deodorant in my stocking. Another year it was a toothbrush. And the parent would pout if I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic.

          Reply ↓
          1. Le Sigh*

            I actually never told them. More context — they’re good parents (and good gift givers who went out of their way to find things we’d like on any budget, and generally aren’t offended if something doesn’t work out). I could tell they simply didn’t realize I had built up this gift (a CD, it was pretty small) in my head, and their jokes building up the gag gift were truly meant to be silly — so just kind of a perfect storm of miscommunication. I’m not shy about sharing my feelings, but that’s one time I held back and in the long-run, kind of glad I did.

            Reply ↓
          2. Wendy Darling*

            One side of my extended family used to do a white elephant/yankee swap every year until the year they decided to let the little kids participate. My cousin stole a miniature novelty gumball machine full of candy from his own 4 year old child. The kid reacted how you’d expect, and that was the end of THAT tradition.

            Reply ↓
      2. Carol the happy*

        My coworker and his husband were trying to adopt- but they had an offer from a relative to be a repeat surrogate (2 pregnancies! Woo hoo!) Deciding who would be the first donor, they each had to have a sperm count and function.

        Brad’s husband had gotten a company logo cup for his 10 yr “workaversary” when 5 other people had gotten high-value dining gift cards, a 3-day stay at an elegant B&B, a ski season pass- then the company was bought, and “Theodorus” was given the new company cup.

        One guess what Theo used it for….

        Reply ↓
    2. Ama*

      To me, that one screams “CEO shot down every other better idea as ‘too expensive’ and everyone gave up and left him to his own devices.”

      Reply ↓
    3. Snarkus Aurelius*

      I don’t even look at pictures of my own vacation so why would I ever want a framed picture of someone else’s?

      Reply ↓
      1. Elizabeth West*

        That one made me feel a little teeny bit more charitable toward the wealthy-ish couple who owned OldExJob. They went on a big family vacation every year to Tropical Island, but they would bring back coffee and fruit and share it with us.

        Also, they took their pets to the same vet as me, and I ran into them one day (after I’d left the company) when I was picking up my cat after I had to leave her for dental work. I asked if I could pay half then and come in that Friday and pay the other half of my bill, since I got paid on Friday. The receptionist said sure, no problem. I greeted Old Boss and Bosswife as I was leaving. The next day, the vet’s office called me and told me Bosswife had paid the rest of my bill.

        They were pretty clueless overall but clearly had occasional bursts of humanity.

        Reply ↓
        1. Wendy Darling*

          I will look at people’s Hawaii vacation photos if they ply me with macadamia nuts. This is the social contract.

          Reply ↓
    4. MikeM_inMD*

      This is worse than a “My boss went to and all I got was this shirt” tee-shirt, because the tee-shirt could have value as a cleaning cloth.

      Reply ↓
  6. Who knows*

    Re #10. I’ve been in far too many conversations with coworkers who assume *of course* everyone has a separate home office.

    Reply ↓
  7. oblivious in the west*

    Late-summer 2020, I was working remotely full-time while caring for my two pre-school children as all daycares were still closed. My company also just completed a quiet layoff; everyone was terrified and stressed. My boss invited me to the office to have lunch together at an outdoor bistro. I vividly recall sitting there, terrified I was either going to be laid off or catch COVID, as my boss complained about the stress and inconvenience of having to close on a vacation property remotely. I… could not relate and left two months later.

    Reply ↓
    2. Her My Own Knee*

      You remember the scene in True Lies when Arnold fantasizes beating the crap out of the guy he thinks is sleeping with his wife? Sometimes I do this too.

      Reply ↓
  8. Peregrine*

    You know, I used to be prickly about “eat the rich” language. Look at the aftermath of revolutions, I’d say! French, Russian, Chinese, often lots of really violent, awful things result and new dictators arise. But at this point… eat the rich.

    Reply ↓
      1. Gathering Moss*

        I’m fond of recommending composting the rich, personally. Maybe not for food crops, but waste not, want not, etc

        Reply ↓
      3. Wendy Darling*

        The botox situation alone! Not to mention whatever other drugs and supplements they might be using. Are the rich even safe for human consumption?

        I mean, no shade on botox/supplement users as long as they are not planning to become food, but.

        Reply ↓
    3. Beveled Edge*

      Right? I thought you’re supposed to get more supportive of the status quo as you get older, but the older I get, the more “off with their heads” sounds like a reasonable reaction.

      Reply ↓
      1. Falling Diphthong*

        In the past few years I have switched over to “Well of course people have lost faith in our institutions; look how terribly they have met the disinformation age! Losing faith was the rational response.” Where I used to shake my head at this sad trend.

        Reply ↓
      2. Le Sigh*

        I had a conversation along these lines when I called my alma mater to express my deep disappointment and anger about recent decisions by leadership. The alumni liaison said something to that effect, and chuckled as if either a) I’d understand when I got to be his age or b) we’re all on the same page. I told him it was quite the opposite — I was already fairly liberal, going to college made me very liberal, and everything after college is what radicalized me. (I’m not even all that radical but by his measuring stick it seemed I was on the verge of leading the next revolution.) I only donate modest amounts to need-based scholarships, so they don’t care what I think, but I refuse to joke along with such nonsense given the consequences of this mindset.

        Anyway.

        Reply ↓
      3. Wendy Darling*

        When I was 8 or 9 years old I told my dad I was bored so he handed me a copy of Animal Farm. I don’t think he thought I’d understand it but I ended up deciding I was a communist.

        All the adults in my life insisted I was not in fact a communist and I did not understand the nuances, and by the time I got to high school I was like, ehh I suppose you’re probably right.

        The older I get the more I am convinced that 8 year old me had a point. Certainly my position at this point is “capitalism bad actually”.

        Reply ↓
      1. Sloanicota*

        Ha! Everyone has the exact same definition of rich: it’s everyone in the next income bracket from you, and up.

        Reply ↓
        1. CeeDoo*

          My definition: you can buy a really nice brand new car outright, no financing. If you have enough cash to buy a new Escalade outright, I will consider you rich. And if you say, “but I saved for months and months,” I say, you had the income level to save for that level of funds. Most people do not have that level of funds readily available, and it would take years and years to save up enough for it.

          Reply ↓
        2. Her My Own Knee*

          Nah. I don’t make that much and I don’t think the people who make slightly more than me would be considered rich. Rich means you have so much money you don’t even have to think about the cost of something before you buy it, regardless of what it is.

          Reply ↓
        2. Ally McBeal*

          Absolutely spot-on. I’ll carve out (haha) an exemption for Mackenzie Scott, formerly Bezos – her money does accumulate interest faster than she’s donating it, and billionaire philanthropy is ethically dubious anyway, but she’s doing a hell of a job donating it to (IMO) worthwhile causes. AND she has to watch her ex make an absolute fool of himself while she’s donating the money she earned from their marriage, which must make life pretty sweet for her.

          Reply ↓
        3. Dr. Doll*

          Good answer, except that my money makes money fast than I WILL spend it, because I am careful and frugal and modest and prefer staying quietly at home. So please don’t eat me.

          Reply ↓
          1. Socks*

            Does your money make enough money that you could live off it without 1) additional income or 2) dipping below the original balance? Bc I’m pretty sure that’s what they meant.

            Reply ↓
        4. boof*

          And if you do that by being thrifty?
          I honestly kinda hate class warefare can we please focus on the bad behaviors rather than classism – or are all doctors and lawyers on the menu now too

          Reply ↓
          1. Wendy Darling*

            My hottest take of all is this:

            The idea of an “upper middle class” or even a “middle class” as distinct from the working class is, in practice, just a distraction to keep the doctors and lawyers from teaming up with the plumbers and electricians and fast food cashiers and grocery stockers and Uber drivers, because the only distinction that ACTUALLY matters is “people who have to sell their labor to afford to live” and “people who have so much money it has functionally become an infinite-money glitch and will never need to sell their labor again pretty much no matter what they do”.

            There just aren’t that many of those infinite-money-glitch MFers and if the rest of us peons got together and decided to f with them they would have a really bad time. So they have a vested interest in pitting the rest of us against each other — it keeps us arguing amongst ourselves rather than getting together to eat them.

            Realistically most of us, even the doctors and the lawyers, are financially closer to (and more likely to become) a homeless person than we are to Jeff Bezos. But the more people who know that, the worse it is for the Jeff Bezoses of the world.

            Reply ↓
      3. Meaningful hats*

        We start with the Musks and the Bezos of the world. The doctors and consultants making mid-six figures are safe for now.

        Reply ↓
        1. Aerin*

          I mean, just start at the top and work your way down, really. Once your net worth crosses $100M the chances of having gotten that money unethically increases exponentially.

          Personally, I think CEOs should be required to live (with their families) off the salary of their lowest-paid employee for one full month of every year. Any attempts to cheat will incur heavy fines that will be shared between all hourly workers.

          Reply ↓
      4. Magdalena*

        The upper 1% of a given society usually don’t have to work and have an outsized influence over others. So, not just high-income but powerful.

        Reply ↓
      6. Generic Name*

        I’m just gonna say that if you spend time reading a workplace blog, you are likely not rich enough to eat.

        Reply ↓
      7. FaintlyMacabre*

        I think there should only be one billionaire allowed. If you have more than a billion, you fight the other billionaire to the death and the loser’s assets get liquidated and distributed to the less wealthy.

        Reply ↓
      8. Martin Blackwood*

        ‘Eat the rich’ level rich is thinking a normal christmas party has multiple fortune tellers and mini restaurants inside it. Choirs and opera singers and so many people working it, photographers and serving staff and entertainers, theres seperate catering for the people serving the workers.
        If you have never read the article This Christmas Party was So Fun That Now I’m A Communist, it is that level of wealth people want to redistribute. And even then, there would still be wealthy surgeons and actors.

        Reply ↓
  9. Robbie*

    I desperately want to know what goes on in the mind of execs who think employees want pictures of themselves. I would be gauche enough if it was friends, if but you get a present of your boss and their great travels as a reminder that you don’t get time off or the cash to go on a cruise? I would be walking out the door at that point.

    Reply ↓
    2. Arrietty*

      I gave my aunt a photo of my son for Christmas and felt that was pushing the boundaries of appropriate. No one wants a photo of the boss.

      Reply ↓
      1. Cat and dog fosterer*

        My sibling got smart and all baby photos sent to me included the family pet. It also helped that there weren’t many of them.

        Reply ↓
      2. Alison*

        I asked my own parents if they wanted a spare school photo I had of our 8yo (their much-loved grandson) because truly I didn’t want to foist it on them if they didn’t want it

        Reply ↓
    3. Snarkus Aurelius*

      I would respond by giving the CEO a framed picture of my very cheap vacation or a staycation and see how they respond.

      Isn’t the La Quinta Inn off the interstate the best place to summer after Memorial Day? Did you see they upgraded their plastic cutlery at the free breakfast?

      Reply ↓
    4. Ama*

      Many many people are surprisingly bad at understanding that different audiences are going to interpret the same gift/joke/statement in very different ways. I bet at least some of them thought “my family and friends loved this so I will give it to my employees!”

      The others are so full of themselves that they can’t conceive of anyone who doesn’t think their life is as interesting as they themselves do.

      Reply ↓
    5. KaciHall*

      Not for employees, but Ryan Reynolds seems out Christmas cards of himself to all subscribers for Mint Mobile. and it’s hilarious.

      I don’t know any CEOs as well liked as Ryan Reynolds, though.

      Reply ↓
  10. Spicy Tuna*

    My “home office” is my garage. On a Zoom, the president of the company commented on my “high ceilings”

    Separately, I once worked for a large international company that was attempted to avoid bankruptcy. Some of the work force was unionized and some was not (I was part of the non-unionized workforce).

    The union folks would not agree to a change to their contracts unless the non-unionized folks took a pay cut. Since we were not unionized, we didn’t get a say in whether or not we would accept a pay cut. We already has very, very low wages, so this pay cut did not go over well.

    Management helpfully put out a “tips and tricks for saving money” bulletin, which included things like cutting cable, carpooling to work to save on gas and tolls, bringing lunch to work, doing your own nails, going on a nature walk for a date instead of going out to dinner.

    I remember being outraged at these suggestions because I had already implemented all of them as cost cutting measures BEFORE the pay cut!!!

    Reply ↓
    1. Rainy*

      Before we were married, my husband did tech support for a company that offered health insurance as long as you were sufficiently generous in your definition of both “offered” and “health insurance,” which basically everyone declined. (It was one of those plans that cost a ton and yet covered nothing.) The company sent around a “Wellness Newsletter” that offered health tips like “ask your doctor if they offer a lower rate for cash payments” and “if you are hospitalized, apply for the hospital’s charity care program immediately.”

      The first issue of the “Wellness Newsletter” dropped during my husband’s shift and he said he thought there was going to be a riot. There was no second issue.

      Reply ↓
    2. Meaningful hats*

      I remember a past co-worker, many pay grades above me, suggesting I trade in my car for a cheaper one to save money. I told him I didn’t even own a car – I was entirely reliant on public transportation. He was stunned that someone wouldn’t have enough money to afford a car.

      Reply ↓
      1. Dr. Doll*

        Probably because the union thought all the non-union folks were making a ton of money. It’s certainly that way in our unionized environment. If you’re union, you are a Good Person doing a Hard Mission-Oriented Job for Low Pay; if you’re not union, you are an Evil Manager Dripping in Money who Does Nothing and Has No Value.

        I’m a union member. I get tired of this trope.

        Reply ↓
    4. pally*

      Yeah, when they get to things like “Underwear has two sides. Wear each pair twice before washing.” I hafta take a walk.

      Reply ↓
    5. me*

      Reminds me of McDonald’s “financial advice” for employees that included getting a second job because their wages were so low.

      Reply ↓
    6. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I, personally, hate that ubiquitous cost-saving recommendation to make your coffee at home instead of going to Starbucks everyday. Ok, thanks, but what if – hear me out – I already make my coffee at home every day?

      Reply ↓
  11. Spiders Everywhere*

    One time our CEO decided the best way to inspire us was to call an all hands meeting and make us watch the “always be closing” scene from Glengarry Glen Ross, apparently under the impression you were supposed to admire the Alec Baldwin character and his approach. Unclear what exactly we were supposed to be closing since we weren’t actually a sales company.

    Reply ↓
    1. Snarkus Aurelius*

      That scene has a pair of fake, suspended testicles along with all the offensive pejoratives that ends with threats of termination. Highly inappropriate for work!

      Reply ↓
    2. CEDAAlum*

      lol my college debate coach did the same thing. Apparently we were supposed to be inspired to work harder. That was not the result; but we did all hate him/were scared of him.
      This was back in the day. I imagine he is no longer allowed to do that given the rampant bigoted language in the movie. Though… who knows.

      Reply ↓
  12. Librarian of Things*

    To be fair to the VP in #9, the unexpected departure of a member of senior management might indeed to be a good time to review and perhaps reorganize the structure, because a sudden departure is going to show you where you have gaps, where you have too many or too few redundancies, and whether divisions are still accomplishing what they were meant to, as they are. This is true whether that unexpected departure is to death, deciding just to take two years off before another job, or moving to a luxurious vacation cabin. But, woof, what a horrid way to phrase it. Words matter and a VP ought to know that.

    Reply ↓
    1. Funko Pops Day*

      The only remotely comprehensible case I can imagine is that after a lengthy tribute, discussing how terrible the loss was, how hard it would be for everyone, but that the org would need to move on, and that they hoped that perhaps it could serve as an opportunity, however unwanted, to re-examine etc. …. which is still a little heartless. Without the rest of the context, though…yikes.

      Reply ↓
    2. Kes*

      Yeah, that one is definitely one where I can see both that they are probably correct and likely meant well, and that it comes across as a little cold. But I would still take the leaders from 9 and 10 over any of the others.

      Reply ↓
    3. Seal*

      Seriously, there are SO many better ways to phase it! Everyone (presumably) knows why the position is vacant and that short- and long-term decisions need to be made about covering the work and filling the position. Some may even agree that it makes sense to consider reorganizing. But publicly claiming the death of an employee is an “opportunity” of any sort infers there’s a bright side to a sad situation.

      At least it wasn’t presented as “in honor of the VP we’re reorganizing – that’s what they would have wanted!”

      Reply ↓
    1. Sparkles McFadden*

      Years ago, one of my direct reports was no-call, no-show, which really was not like the guy. He didn’t answer any calls or emails, and his spouse (on a work trip in another country) hadn’t heard from him. I called the police in his town for a wellness check. The police called ten minutes later to say the guy was dead. When I told my boss he said “This is great! I know a guy I’d love to hire and now we have an opening for him!”

      I transferred to another department as soon as I could manage it.

      Reply ↓
      1. Librarian of Things*

        Great googly-moogly. I’m glad there was another department for you and I hope you worked for a human being there.

        Reply ↓
      2. Judge Judy and Executioner*

        Holy crap, I don’t blame you. If my boss ever told me it was great my team member died, I’d be looking to jump ship as soon as possible.

        Reply ↓
      6. ReallyBadPerson*

        OMG, you might have had the same boss as my husband. A 27-year-old colleague of his went into a diabetic coma and died before anyone could get to him. His awful, awful boss said the same thing. Oh, but he totally made up for it by having the dead man’s name printed on t-shirts and having the employees wear them at a corporate road race.

        Reply ↓
    2. Kes*

      I think it depends how it actually played out. If they just straight out launched into, Bob’s death is a great opportunity to reorganize… oof. If they at least acknowledged it, as in, Bob’s death is very sad and unfortunate, and we are still dealing with it, but at the same time we also do need to keep going, and since we do need to deal with the gap this leaves in our organization, we are taking this as an opportunity to reorganize… it’s a little less sociopathic. Maybe I’m too optimistic here but I’d like to hope it was a least a bit towards the latter, or intended that way, but with some bad phrasing. But obviously it at least came across very badly.

      Reply ↓
      1. Seal*

        It also depends on the timing. Telling the staff right away who will be covering the VP’s duties while they determine next steps is one thing; telling them in essence “ding dong, the VP’s dead, now we can reorganize!” is quite another.

        Reply ↓
    1. UncleFrank*

      I feel like there had to have been some kind of backstory between the two VPs??? Not that I can imagine one that would make that comment OK!

      Reply ↓
  15. CzechMate*

    RE # 11 – when my husband was getting his MBA, his class went to visit a local business (I THINK the owner was an alum, but I don’t remember now). Owner was asked to speak to this group of MBA students about what drove him to do his work, his personal motivators, etc. He said, “Honestly? I do all of this to take care of my family. My wife belongs at home–I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if my wife had to WORK.”

    This delivered to…a room that was half-full of female MBA students.

    Reply ↓
    2. Snarkus Aurelius*

      It reminds me of that scene from Breaking Bad where Gus Fring said, “A man works because that’s what he does.” I know so many men who love that scene, but they have zero response when I say, “I work to support my family too. So have millions of women since the dawn of humankind. Where’s our ticker tape parade? What makes men special?”

      Reply ↓
      2. Elenna*

        Exactly! Look up how long it took to make, say, a single shirt, before the spinning wheel was invented. Keeping the family clothed was basically a full-time job for all peasant women (aka the *vast* majority of women), let along cooking and childcare and the other traditional “woman’s work”.

        Reply ↓
  16. Falling Diphthong*

    Lately I’ve been thinking about that scene in Severance where Irving, who has been the most devoted company man in our little Macro Data Refinement club, suggests that they should burn the whole thing to the ground.

    Reply ↓
  20. Kdub*

    #7 reminded me of a meeting long forgotten, in the 2008-09 timeframe, where a Director (1 level below VP, had at least 2-3 levels of management under him as well) related himself to the whole group by pointing out that he understood it had been a hard year (no bonuses or merit increases)… because it was just a “one new car” year for him and his wife. ….. he drove a Jaguar. And he seemed surprised by the reaction from the crowd. Totally out of touch.

    Reply ↓
  21. TechWorker*

    #11 my eyebrows hit my hairline. Seriously how does someone make it to an exec role whilst being that unaware?!

    Reply ↓
    2. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

      I mean, being clueless and unaware is in the job description for execs at anyplace large enough, it’s just usually not in that particular way.

      Reply ↓
  22. mcm*

    #10 was very similar to my org sending out a “how to set up an ergonomic home office!” flyers when very few people below senior staff have anything resembling a ‘home office’. Someone did respond “… you mean my kitchen table?”

    Reply ↓
  23. 3-foot Tall Inflatable Rainbow Unicorn*

    I’m shocked at the number of high-up execs who think their employees actively care about their personal lives.

    Reply ↓
    1. Snarkus Aurelius*

      And those same execs wouldn’t give two craps about our lives in the same way.

      Reminds me of an AAM letter where a CEO wanted employees’ families to be involved and engaged in the company’s mission and vision too. Why? My interest in my husband’s job begins and end at his paycheck.

      Reply ↓
  24. Laura*

    I remember a former VP telling a group of us about a job early in his career as a cautionary tale. He had a boss who would always want to get the people on her team wildly inappropriate birthday presents. (you’ll see what i mean in a moment. Former VP was the one who would always talk her down and redirect her to something more sane. Unfortunately this meant that there was no such person to do that when HIS birthday came around. She got him a rabbit. A live rabbit. And they lived and worked in Manhattan, so the chances of having space for said rabbit? Pretty slim. I think he had a family member who was willing to take it, thankfully.

    Reply ↓
    1. Language Lover*

      A pet rabbit is inappropriate but I have to admit that my mind went to a very different kind of rabbit until you clarified it was a living thing and not a mechanical thing.

      Reply ↓
    2. Mark This Confidential And Leave It Laying Around*

      Picturing that happening in my Manhattan office and dying. Please tell me she got laughed out of the building!

      Reply ↓
  27. Box of Rain*

    Am I wrong to think 12 isn’t… that out of the ordinary or tone deaf?

    I’ve worked in two school districts that did that for our equivalent of an all-hands meeting. My current company does that in all of our all staff meetings, although we genuinely cheer and hoot and holler vs. being forced to.

    Reply ↓
    1. KimberlyR*

      For the CEO or for each other? There is a difference.

      I have absolutely no desire or reason to cheer and hoot and holler for my CEO. If this was forced at all meetings of this nature, I would find a way to not be able to attend every single time.

      Reply ↓
    2. Your former password resetter*

      Yes?
      I genuinely cannot imagine this happening anywhere I ever worked. Even the places small enough that everyone personally knew the executives.
      At most I could imagine a polite applause when someone enters or leaves the stage, if thats the cutural standard. But cheering? For an executive making a business announcement? Like everyone is having a great time or are fand of the executive like theyre a celebrity?

      Reply ↓
    3. Dr. Doll*

      Our university president likes to boogie into the large, start-of-the-academic-year all-campus meeting preceded by our mascot in full dress, with some fun music. It’s reasonably cute. We clap for our mascot and it sprinkles over to the president.

      Reply ↓
    4. Falling Diphthong*

      Fun Stalin anecdote: You had to applaud for him. One time, all the party officials kept going, and going, and going… because it was not safe to be the first person to not clap. Finally, the manager of a small factory stopped clapping and sat down, at which everyone else instantly did so too.

      A week later he was sent to the labor camp.

      Reply ↓
    5. Not a Vorpatril*

      I mean, my school did this right before this school year started. Got a bunch of students from some club or another to line the auditorium and cheer us as we made our way into the standard dreadfully boring meeting. It was… awkward. Cute in some ways, sure, and I new some of the students and could be happy to see them, but still awkward and did not make my day any more meaningful or the meeting any less annoying.

      Reply ↓
    6. Box of Rain*

      I stand corrected! :) I feel a little like I did as a teenager when OI realized that not all families were like my family. And that my family was WEIRD.

      I will say that, like KimberlyR notes, the clapping is more for the organization as a whole and each other than the CEO specifically. We hold them a theater that hosts Broadway touring productions (so, decently sized) and they become a fairly raucous affair with some kind of food/coat/shoe collection, door prizes, c-suite folks throwing out shirts like they’re at a basketball game just minus the t-shirt cannon.

      Reply ↓
  28. whatnow*

    Less of an eating the rich scenario, more just incredibly tone deaf – on 9/11, I had a boss who sent out an email that basically said he understood it was a difficult day, but if you were having trouble focusing, consider working on some smaller “back burner projects”. I thought I was going to have to forcibly restrain people.

    Reply ↓
    1. KaciHall*

      I was in high school, and even my football coach of a word civ teacher let us vote on whether to watch Ben Hur or the news.

      Reply ↓
    2. Elizabeth West*

      I had to go to work that day. I was temping part-time at an old job to cover a mat leave. Someone brought in a little portable TV and we stayed glued to it until it was time to go home. We only had two calls the entire time I was there. If my boss had suggested we do some work, we all probably would have dragged her in the hall bathroom and dunked her face in the toilet.

      Reply ↓
    3. Distracted Librarian*

      At my workplace, it was business as usual on 9/11. We were supposed to go to meetings and act like everything was normal. It was surreal. Meanwhile, those of us with radios in our offices were glued to the news.

      I have a leadership role now, and I try to acknowledge difficult days and encourage people to take care of themselves and each other – because I don’t want anyone else to have to fake their way through a workday during a major crisis.

      Reply ↓
    4. Chauncy Gardener*

      When the Boston Marathon bombings happened, my boss asked why everyone was leaving. We were in Boston. All of us had people who were either running or were there in some kind of support capacity.

      Reply ↓
    5. Anon So I Don't Get Fired*

      I’m a state government employee in Virginia. The day of the then-Governor’s blackface scandal, an agency head, who was white, sent an agency-wide email that said, “If you’re a minority who is offended by the Governor’s current scandal, here are some EAP resources for you. Your mental health is important to us.”

      He later apologized.

      Reply ↓
  29. Anon in Midwest*

    Related to #10 (the COVID working from home tips):

    I had a high visibility job in 2020 though I was still quite junior, and regularly was on video calls with our CMO and executives at external companies. My CMO was sweet but VERY rich and out of touch.

    I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my spouse and with both working from home, I took loud meetings from the tiny balcony whenever I could to spare him the noise.

    My CMO loved to start meetings by saying “Look at Anon, she is SO good at getting outdoors time & prioritizing sunshine during this horrible pandemic!!” as if it was just a lark, and a cute habit of mine, not a complete necessity lol

    Reply ↓
    1. Archi-detect*

      not to diminish your situation of course, but I did have several coworkers work outside on decks/a gazebo and one guy just set up a card table, and they all enjoyed it

      Reply ↓
  30. KimberlyR*

    Our company hasn’t been doing great financially and it would be tone deaf to ask for a raise or any other additional pay. Our previous CEO lived in a different state from the home office and flew back and forth between his home and our corporate office almost every week…Even with frequent flier points, it just felt off that no one got extra money but we had the money to fly him back and forth. (I don’t know why he had to fly in so often. We are at least 90% remote).

    Our current CEO doesn’t believe in remote work and would love to make us all go in-office. The vast majority of the company does NOT live in the only state we still have an office in. I have no idea what he thinks will happen.

    Reply ↓
  31. They Call Me Patricia*

    #5 reminds me of a presentation we had during a mandatory all staff training. I work in a social service-type sector where the work is notoriously high stress and low pay. This presenter (who management could not stop fawning over) told us that if we were not 100% jazzed and excited to come to work every single day, we should take a 1 to 2 year “breaky-break.” (Yes, she used that term). Not sure who is going to pay my billsy-bills during my breaky-break…

    Reply ↓
    1. Little Miss Helpful*

      Social work is a sweet lady job, so luckily everyone has a honey-bunny-hubby to take care of that pesky money stuff.

      Reply ↓
  32. Calamity Janine*

    well. on the plus side.

    i am feeling so very grounded and down to earth right now, y’all. i mean by comparison i believe that i am absolutely nailing it. in fact i should totally order another tiara. i’ve got so much wiggle room before it reaches problem levels as described here, so i might even order two! i’ve hardly ever expected people to cheer for me while i enter to the theme from Rocky, after all! haven’t had a luxury car delivered to an office of struggling underlings even once! and i haven’t sent out Christmas cards with a mobile describing all my travels to my workers, either!

    i am a paragon of grace! i am god’s most perfectly humble creature! i am –

    oh god. oh no. this is how it starts isn’t it. hold on who can check to see if i got bitten by a clueless CEO in my sleep

    Reply ↓
  33. Go Sports!*

    Early in the pandemic, the CEO of the division of a large tech company (who has since become the CEO of the whole company) told everyone during an all-hands meeting that his “pandemic hobby” had been naming the newly-founded NHL team in the company’s hometown. I guess that beats the banana bread everyone else was baking?

    Reply ↓
  34. DarkShadows*

    I had a VP tell me how fortunate that they were that they had an office with so much light and windows! Having an office with windows is so great. It’s much better for your health. In their last job, they had an office with no windows and they were just depressed all the time because of it and their skin looked terrible.

    This was said to me in my office. With no windows nearby.

    Reply ↓
    1. Archi-detect*

      I am 5 cubes back from the windows which are normal height so I feel ya on that. managers who haven’t been seen in person in a month+ have window cubes though

      Reply ↓
      1. Snarkus Aurelius*

        At my old job, I knew of a woman who had an office with a door. She came to the office once a year for a big meeting so she wasn’t even *in* her office when she was there. We had an office space shortage so hers was the first to go up for grabs, and she threw an absolute fit. She needed her office with a door even if she wasn’t using it in case one day she did need it! The hoteling space wasn’t good enough! It had to be her current office.

        I’m still astounded at how clueless and selfish she was. I don’t think she cared though. Yes, she did lose her office.

        Reply ↓
  35. Youth*

    I know of a company pres who said a bunch of wild, tone-deaf things during a meeting announcing everyone would have to come back to the office on a full-time basis.

    Someone shared a clip of this unhinged rant, and it went semi-viral.

    Later, he gave an interview with some publication about how the video was taken out of context. In actuality, the video was worse in context (for example, knowing the promises he’d made in the past about how employees would never have to go back in the office).

    Reply ↓
  36. an infinite number of monkeys*

    So, so many years ago, I was working for a pretty great company where I was overall very happy. But I was also junior, very early in my career, and a single mom of two young kids, so I was paycheck-to-paycheck (if I was lucky).

    One year they gave everyone a 10% end-of-year bonus across the board, adjusted to make sure it was exactly 10% after taxes. And that was great! Absolutely no complaints! But in the breakroom one day, a senior manager advised me to make the smart financial decision to use that money as down payment on a house.

    10% of my annual income was NOT house-down-payment money. Not even close.

    Reply ↓
  37. Louisa*

    I worked for a company where probably 80% of employees made $12-15 an hour, but anyone at the director level and above was paid way above what they could expect elsewhere. When an SVP’s husband died suddenly and tragically, the company set up a fund for her family, which would have been nice for the executives to contribute to, but instead, they announced the fund in an all-staff meeting and asked everyone.

    Reply ↓
  38. Seashell*

    Here’s my out-of-touch boss story. I was working at a job that requires a professional degree. I was working Monday through Saturday and making a rather low salary. The boss rarely came in on Saturdays, but a few of us underlings were.

    The boss subsequently invited us to his kid’s 1st birthday party. It was being held on a Saturday afternoon, so, since some of us were working then, it wasn’t an option to say “sorry, I can’t make it.” The boss acted like he was doing us a really big favor by letting us go to a party instead of work.

    This 1st birthday party was at a fancy reception hall where weddings are usually held, and it was probably north of 100 guests. I got a meal out of it, but I had to bring a gift for the kid (I think I gave money) and I had no burning desire to sit there with my co-workers, so it was close to a wash.

    Reply ↓
  39. CoffeeCoffeeCoffee*

    I used to work at a research university in Chicago and we had a new AVP come from a (smaller, less well known) school in Los Angeles. At his very first meeting with our staff, he asked how we all liked living “in such a small town” since clearly if it isn’t LA, Chicago is a “small town.”

    Reply ↓
  40. Goldenrod*

    Jesus, READ THE ROOM, people!

    #10 “The Tip – Reminds me of my last job. The Chief of Staff (for HR, no less) shared her helpful tip for working during COVID. It was “use the guest room as an office”!

    Gee, thanks. Why didn’t I think of using the guest room?? Was I just stupid?

    Oh wait, I just remembered, it’s because my husband and I were both working remotely out of our ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT. Thanks for the great tip, boss!

    Reply ↓
  41. Worker Bee*

    Years ago, everyone who worked in my (now former) company’s HQ gathered for a town hall. During the presentation the CEO mentioned that he was sure we’d heard rumors that the company was moving and many of us would lose our jobs. Then he showed us a picture of his recently completed new mansion in another state and confirmed that the rumors were true.

    Reply ↓
  42. Mark This Confidential And Leave It Laying Around*

    Solidarity to #8. Once had to sit through an hour+ 2-Truths-and-a-lie gameshow with 500 coworkers where we had to use our phones to guess the C-Suite’s hobbies and sports triumphs.

    Reply ↓
  44. OopsAllMicroaggressions*

    #1 reminds me of my last organization, where the staff of mostly young people of color had written a letter to the board about problematic (racist, sexist and otherwise inappropriate/entitled) behavior from the founder and leader of the organization. The founder called an all-staff where he, presumably, intended to apologize. Instead, he went on a long spiel about how his life hadn’t been so great if you think about it, like his family was lower middle class, and did you know he’s the first person from his family to graduate college? We did, in fact, know this — and that it was true only because several previous generations of his family had attended West Point before becoming Army officers.

    Reply ↓
  45. abitahooey*

    My (cis white male) department head never shuts up on a good day. While we wrote him off as just a talker who was out of touch but mostly harmless, recently at a work event he declared that it was high time people realized that DEI was racist and bad for business. He was stunned when his (majority women and people of color) team answered this remark with stony faces and icy demeanors. Several people straight-up left without a word. He used to be well-liked, now he’s scrambling to make nice so people don’t quit — which he really can’t afford. At least he has learned to shut the fuck up.

    Reply ↓
  46. DramaQ*

    I think #12 is now at my company.

    It was Taylor Swift music and we has to stand up and give a “big loud cheer!” when he entered complete with high fives.

    Later on several people jokes about not drinking anything already opened for us just in case.

    It was very cult/MLM scheme vibes all day.

    Reply ↓
  47. Leslie*

    These stories remind of a veterinarian I took my puppy when I was 19 years old. The veterinarian had a huge binders of all of her International trips in the waiting room, no magazines.

    Reply ↓
  48. umami*

    LOL the one about the luxury car reminds me of a former boss who kept telling me I needed to upgrade my (admittedly aging) car to a Lexus like his, saying I ‘deserved a new car.’ The last mention was about a week before I got notice I was being RIFed, meaning the plan had been in progress for a couple of months.

    Reply ↓
  49. Science KK*

    By comparison my boss isn’t too bad, but she always makes the comment “If I have time, YOU have time”. Ma’am I don’t have a husband who’s willing to help with dishes/laundry (I don’t have a husband/SO at all), I can’t afford a WEEKLY housekeeper (or any housekeeper), or to go out every time I’m too tired/overwhelmed/don’t want to do dishes.

    I want to remind her she’s paid 6 figures because she needs to outsource that stuff. I am not and cannot.

    Reply ↓
  50. Janice Plumlee*

    The local builder my spouse and I worked for had a nice Christmas party with food, drinks, and games. We were seated at the table with the owner and his wife. He stared at us as if we should not be there. We introduced ourselves and stated which neighborhood we worked in. He never acknowledged us and continued to stare at us during the meal. At the end of the meal, he stood up to deliver a welcoming speech. Instead he thanked everyone (who included lowest paid builders to highest commission sales) “for making everyone in his family millionaires!!” So tone deaf.

    Reply ↓
  51. For Real Life!?*

    For my fellow parents and caretakers of young children, #12 is straight out of a Bluey episode!

    “Ok, listen up. Whenever I walk into a room, everyone has to clap and go, ‘Whoo! Yeah! It’s Dad! Alright! That guy’s awesome!’ Got it?!” -Bandit Heeler

    Reply ↓

Leave a Comment

Before you comment: Please be kind, stay on-topic, and follow the site's commenting rules.
You can report an ad, tech, or typo issue here.

Subscribe to all comments on this post by RSS