my employee keeps telling me his “expectations” of me

by Alison Green on March 3, 2025

A reader asks:

One of my employees is positioning himself to move up in a couple of years. He would still report to me, but the working relationship would be a little different, and it could have a major impact on my work and the organization if that relationship is toxic. The problem is that he thinks he is a lot smarter than me. He apparently read something about “managing up” and now he is trying to manage me. He is very, very bad at it. His attempts to manipulate me are clumsy, but he doesn’t realize that I know what he is doing (because he’s sure that he is much smarter than me). There’s also some sexism going on here (I’m female, and he seems to have problems with that sometimes). Every conversation degenerates into incredibly irritating condescension and smugness on his part. For example, he has said things like:

• “My expectation is that you will give me a hint if you think there may be a change coming up.” Me: No, not happening. I try to squelch rumors, not spread them. And if there is a change coming, your department head will know first.

• “My expectation is that you will change the meeting time.” Me: No, a meeting that involves 27 people and has been scheduled for a month will not be rescheduled just for you.

• About a minor snafu with another team: “I’m sure you understand why you need to have this person fired.” Me: Let’s just talk about how we are going to handle a fairly small problem.

He always ends with a smirk and a slow nod. Right now, I just smile, ignore it whenever possible, and get back to the issue at hand. Occasionally I have addressed it head on, when I need to clarify that he will definitely not be getting what he wants this time.

I want to call him on this, because it is getting very tiresome. It also sidetracks the conversation away from the important stuff we need to be discussing. And I don’t enjoy being treated with such disrespect. I’m tempted to give him a book on the topic and tell him he needs to study some more before trying this again. But in calmer moments, I know that level of bluntness will just embarrass him and put him on the defensive. How can I stop this behavior without doing too much damage to our work relationship? Or do I just have to put up with sentences that start, “My expectation is that you will…” forever?

A complicating factor is that he’s popular with his colleagues, who will be the ones considering him for the promotion in a few years. I could potentially veto their decision, but it would destroy my credibility with the rest of the department so I would rather figure out how to make this work if I can.

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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{ 124 comments }

{ 124 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Hello, Nurse*

    Movie quote he really needs to take to heart:

    “The boss isn’t always right, but he’s always the boss.”

    Reply ↓
    1. Tiger Snake*

      Being able to understand that is a really important skill, because understanding and adapting to that is what managing upwards is actually about.

      Reply ↓
    2. Productivity Pigeon*

      Yay, thank you and WELL DONE OP!

      I’m so glad she was able to speak up and show him who’s boss!

      Reply ↓
    3. Anon Again... Naturally*

      Thank goodness she was able to get him to stop. What a jerk. I’m guessing most of his colleagues who would have selected him for department chair were also men, based on the ‘ball-busting women’ comment.

      Reply ↓
          1. Ally McBeal*

            Oh, disagree. Nuclear-level bigots like Elon require and deserve a lot harder of a punch than a garden-variety smarmy academic. Punching N-zis takes every ounce of strength in my tiny body, the guy in this story is barely worth a slap.

            Reply ↓
      3. Verity Kindle*

        And yet, given he got so huffy about being told his boss was, in fact, qualified for her job- a very fragile, snowflakey jerk?

        Reply ↓
      4. Reality.Bites*

        When I read the original letter I did think to myself, “I bet he doesn’t end up in that job.” My thinking was someone with his attitude, and seemingly so clueless about getting along with colleagues, is going to annoy way more people than OP by the time promotions came about.

        Reply ↓
      5. Leenie*

        My takeaway is that he wasn’t getting the support from his colleagues for the Chair position that he expected to get, even if they were mostly men. And that maybe the LW overestimated how well-loved he was. A guy like that probably wouldn’t remove himself from consideration if he thought he’d have a real chance. Also, the fact that the comments got back to her doesn’t make it seem like the people involved value him over the LW.

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      2. There you are!*

        Great to see you posting again, Czhorat! I, for one, have always appreciated your cheerful, sensible, practical and generally kind perspective.

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    5. Prudence Snooter*

      Ok, I might just be stirring the pot here, but does anyone else think it was strange that OP ended the update with “The advice from the commenters was very useful, and I appreciate that you gave me the opportunity to hear from them” without mentioning Alison’s advice? Not that it truly matters – it just stood out to me.

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      2. Reba*

        yeah, reading too much into it. Also, we don’t see the polite preambles that presumably come with emails (the writer’s probably don’t start cold with “here’s what happened”).

        The OP engaged in the comments quite a bit, so it makes sense she would acknowledge that!

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      3. Productivity Pigeon*

        I don’t know that it’s something to read into.

        She might have thanked Alison privately since she had a direct way to do that.

        Showing appreciation for the comments in the update is a fast and easy way to ensure as many as possible see it instead of thanking each commenter individually, especially since they’re likely not to see those replies unless they go back and check the thread for some reason.

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      5. MigraineMonth*

        It’s also possible that the LW had written for advice before and Alison responded privately (something she does sometimes when the advice is too specific to be blog-worthy), so this time the LW was appreciating that it was published and she could get suggestions (or just support in her rage!) from the commentary.

        Reply ↓
    7. Anon a fed looking for silver linings*

      I LOVE the LW’s response to what annoying employee said in this. The way they’ve put it sounds entirely professional to me, and still delivered the punch I was really hoping for in an update here. MUCH more satisfying than having him be promoted and still acting like this with his superiors (ick).

      Reply ↓
    8. Slow Gin Lizz*

      Awesome update and thank you for finding it! I want a more recent update…where is OP and this guy now?

      Reply ↓
    10. Ms. Eleanous*

      OP gets bonus points for being tactful and diplomatic. Waaaay more than I would have been.

      This jerk is up for Most Clueless Worker of the Year. IMHO.

      Reply ↓
    11. many bells down*

      I can’t help but notice he never answered the question “Why would you expect that”. Just immediately tried to deflect it back to OP.

      Reply ↓
  3. Czhorat*

    a pox on whoever taught this guy the phrase “managing up”

    a part of me wonders if his popularity is the kind that would really lead to a promotion, or if he’s generally considered likeable but not a good fit for the next role up.

    Reply ↓
    1. Anon Again... Naturally*

      Isben Takes Tea has the update link- it sounds like the promotion would be to a college department chair. Working in academia, I can assure you that these kind of blowhards get voted into these positions all the time.

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      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Yeah, I would hope that he is only superficially popular, not actually popular with people who really have control over his career. (Though I see that he took himself out of the running for the promotion anyway.)

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      2. MassMatt*

        I imagine his smug pomposity is reserved for the LW, and he acts very differently around LW’s colleagues. It stinks that LW felt that vetoing him from the promotion would be detrimental to her career but sadly it was probably a reasonable concern.

        I’m glad this jerk is out of the running for promotion, whatever the reason.

        Reply ↓
    4. Not a Girl Boss*

      My favorite counter phrase for what this guy is doing: “Thinks he’s playing chess when he’s really playing checkers.”

      Reply ↓
  4. Nomic*

    “One of my employees is positioning himself to move up in a couple of years. He would still report to me, but the working relationship would be a little different, and it could have a major impact on my work and the organization if that relationship is toxic.”

    This already sounds pretty toxic. Whether it’s because he’s a misogynist, or thinks he much smarter than you (or both), the fact remains that there is a ton of disrespect going on here. If he’s that disrespectful to his boss, I can’t imagine how he would treat subordinates who he has the same (misogynistic or “smarter than”) feelings about.

    This doesn’t warrant a promotion, it warrants a PIP.

    Reply ↓
    1. Strive to Excel*

      Based on the update quote (Isben Takes Tea upthread got the link!) of “having to be around ball-busting women all the time”, I’m going with misogynist. Blargh.

      Reply ↓
    2. Ellis Bell*

      See, I would have said something like this in ‘I’m coaching you mode’; something like “You really shouldn’t use that phrase with your boss, either now or in the future. It reads really disrespectfully like you’re telling them what to do and it will make them worry you’d be too disrespectful with subordinates to become a manager”, but honestly OP did so much better with tone and wording than what I would have suggested and was perfect in taking him down a peg.

      Reply ↓
    2. AthenaC*

      Ishben Takes Tea posted above.

      Honestly, it’s probably the best update you could reasonably hope for. Doesn’t happen often, but occasionally when a sexist dude gets directly called out, he’ll back off the behavior (instead of escalating).

      Reply ↓
      1. Productivity Pigeon*

        It also shows that even obnoxious people are capable of change if they’re actually called on their behavior!

        Reply ↓
        1. Elbe*

          Eh, change is a strong word. I think this guy is still the same, he’s just dialing is back with the LW because she stood her ground. It’s better for her, which is great, but I imagine every other woman he works with is going to encounter something similar.

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          1. Silver Robin*

            I mean, the change happened. It might not be rooted in a change of *heart* but people can change behavior if called on it and this is a good example.

            Reply ↓
          2. Productivity Pigeon*

            I’ll take what I can get!

            He probably still thinks all these things in his heart of hearts but he stopped the behavior after she told him off.

            Is it ideal? No, it’d be way better if he saw the error of his way but for practical purposes, this is enough.

            Reply ↓
            2. Elbe*

              Yes, I think that the LW handled it well and even just changing his behavior is a good outcome for her.

              It’s just awful to know that people like this will eventually get promoted and have power over other people. If this is how he treats his boss, how would he treat a woman he supervises? It’s so sad that nothing can be done about severe issues that basically come down to an attitude problem.

              Reply ↓
              1. Productivity Pigeon*

                I know. It sucks.

                But at least this is a first step. He cared enough to stop behaving badly (in OP’s presence at least.) Maybe he will continue to grow later on?
                Hopefully, he’ll be called out by others if he continues and eventually, maybe it’ll stick.

                Reply ↓
            3. UKDancer*

              Yes trying to get people to change what they think or believe is a lot harder than getting them to change behaviours.

              As long as hes behaving as needed it’s less important what’s going on in his mind. He may change his views or not. All an employer can do is set and enforce behaviours.

              Reply ↓
  6. Zona the Great*

    I had a coworker who tried positioning herself for a promotion into supervisordom by….no longer doing any of the work of an individual contributor. I think she saw that the managers didn’t take clients often so she stopped too. Except there was no higher order tasks for her to do like a real manager so she just sat in her office. She was very outspoken about how she’d been “passed over” for a promotion. People sure have a funny way of viewing the world.

    Reply ↓
    1. Fluffy Fish*

      “People sure have a funny way of viewing the world.”

      Yes! I have often said of the occasional colleague that they seem to operate in an entirely different reality than everyone else. Those people also never seem to realize that wherever they go, there they are ie that the problem might be them. Interesting those people all moved along voluntarily or not. Several of them move along very often based on their linkedin.

      Reply ↓
  7. JP*

    I’ve run into two or three dudes over the last twenty years of my career who, despite being less experienced and educated than me, give off the “I expect to be your boss someday” vibe. This, though, is next level.

    Reply ↓
    1. BlueSwimmer*

      I worked with a guy like this. He and I were competing for a promotion. When I got it, he went around telling people bitterly that “She just got the job because of her resume and experience.” Ummm…exactly? He left soon after, telling everyone he wouldn’t work somewhere that didn’t recognize his natural talents.

      Reply ↓
  8. A. Lab Rabbit*

    Oof. I would have put the kibosh on this the first time it happened. “Excuse me…” used to work wonders on middle schoolers. I have a feeling it would work here as well.

    Reply ↓
    1. Zona the Great*

      With this guy, I have a feeling he’d deem her sensitive and power hungry. Liz Ryan’s advice of “your boss is afraid of you” would have been the advice this guy took and ran with.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lady Lessa*

        I actually had a woman boss who thought that I was after her job, just because I shared the title of a book I thought would be helpful. It was about women in management. (Don’t remember the name since it was 3 states ago.)

        Reply ↓
  9. toolegittoresign*

    I still would love to know whether the “managing up” technique he read about was truly terrible or if he just interpreted it in the worst possible way.

    Reply ↓
    1. DisneyChannelThis*

      Managing up is a totally different thing. It’s like noticing your boss prefers updates in slide deck form, or emails, or solely verbally and adjusting your own style to match. “Mirroring” I think was the word for it, adjusting your communications to match them.

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    2. Also-ADHD*

      Managing up is basically just being proactive and assertive, like asking about upcoming (predictable) needs or priorities. Assertive like pointing out risks and needs, not like this guy was. For example, if I’m going on approved vacation, and boss schedules a big meeting with 27 people while I’m gone, I might raise to my boss, “I won’t be at xyz since I’m on PTO, so how should I get the info from that meeting?” (Not to move it, unless my attendance was essential/it made more sense.)

      Reply ↓
      1. toolegittoresign*

        I know what managing up is — I just would love to know how HE thought this was the right way to do it.

        Reply ↓
    3. Amber Rose*

      I doubt he read more than the words “managing up” and assumed that meant just treating your manager like you are their manager.

      Reply ↓
      2. Irish Teacher.*

        Yeah, that’s my thought too, that somewhere along the line, he heard the term “managing up” and thought it meant “act like your manager’s boss.”

        Reply ↓
    4. iglwif*

      I would like to think that no one would give advice like this and he must have wildly misinterpreted it. But I got so much genuinely terrible advice from a professional outplacement services agency during my job search last year that I am not 100% confident.

      Reply ↓
  10. Purple Tiger*

    *in best mom voice* Well, I am your boss, so you can expect whatever you like, but what actually happens will be my decision.

    (I know this would be a terrible thing to say in a normal management relationship but boy it would be tempting in this case )

    Reply ↓
    1. HonorBox*

      The OP provided an update and you damn near nailed it. Not sure about the tone/inflection, but the words are almost spot on

      Reply ↓
  12. Cats Ate My Croissant*

    Reasons I’m not a manager, no.673: I’d start playing “you can’t always get what you want” on my phone every time this bloke opened his noise hole and let his tongue flap about.

    Reply ↓
    1. Don’t put metal in the science oven*

      OMG. I actually sang this song to my major professor / boss in grad school every time he told me EVERYTHING was a priority. Of course we had a great working relationship and this was sung in a lighthearted way. So, totally different vibe.

      Reply ↓
  13. Elbe*

    I remember this letter because it absolutely made my blood boil. The update to the letter was great (the LW did an amazing job of shutting this down!) but I was disappointed that this guy never really experienced any consequences for this.

    Reply ↓
    1. BellStell*

      I feel the same. With so many of these incidents where a person like this guy is so far out of line, yet never gets any kind of schooling on the behaviour, I get irrationally upset that they never get really shut down to learn a lesson. Maybe he did, but sounds like it was not the case. I am also really sad about it in general esp in today’s world.

      Reply ↓
    2. bananners*

      Once you realize that the setting is faculty at an institution of higher ed though (the promotion he is gunning for is department chair; it sounds like the LW is in the dean’s office), it makes sense. The best you can do sometimes is manage egos. No one actually experiences real consequences.

      Reply ↓
    3. Observer*

      I was disappointed that this guy never really experienced any consequences for this

      Well, he did, though. I mean losing a potential promotion is a loss. The fact that he did it to himself doesn’t change that.

      Reply ↓
      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        I want a more recent update. How did he do after being at that job for a few years? Or did he resign quickly after he realized he wasn’t able to “manage up” the way he wanted to? Note: he definitely wasn’t managing up, he was being a condescending a$$.

        Reply ↓
  14. Honoria Lucasta*

    One of the most important skills I’m learning by reading AAM is how useful it is to simply have natural reactions to things. Do you appreciate someone? Don’t repress that goodwill, say something! Is somebody behaving bizarrely? Don’t repress that reaction, say something!

    We learn a lot about moderating our behaviors to be socially acceptable at work (don’t yell, don’t swear abundantly, don’t talk about your sex life) so it’s helpful to also have the coaching about when it’s right to trust our impulsive reactions.

    Reply ↓
    2. Sir Nose d'Voidoffunk*

      We recently hired a new employee on my team who played a big role in editing my most recent major project. We reviewed it with our CEO the other day, and he mentioned how good the content was, and I told him, “It’s funny you mention that, because Helly E. was involved in that process for the first time this go-round, and she made a huge difference.” CEO stopped his reading and thanked me for telling him – he said it was so rare to hear that kind of feedback on new employees at his level.

      I passed on the sentiments to her as well!

      Reply ↓
  15. Mark This Confidential And Leave It Laying Around*

    It’s situations like this that make me appreciate working in a place where that act would get verbally body-slammed on day one.

    Reply ↓
    2. MtnLaurel*

      I would totally think that. Not say of course, but totally think that. Higher ed for most of my career.

      Reply ↓
  17. Diomedea Exulans*

    Yep this guy does sound obnoxious.

    But, related to this, and it’s a genuine question, how do you communicate your expectations to your manager in a way that you don’t sound obnoxious (when your manager seems to be oblivious to his/her duties as a manager)?

    Reply ↓
    1. A. Lab Rabbit*

      I used to get this with my old boss. He would give me something to work on, and then 45 minutes later hand me something else to work on. So I would ask “I’m still working on Project A you gave me a little bit ago. Do you want me to finish that first, and then work on Project B, or should I pivot and work on Project B first?”

      Of course, none of the situations LW described actually required managing up. This guy was just being an ass.

      Reply ↓
      1. MtnLaurel*

        What A Lab Rabbit is describing is actually “managing up,” not what the faculty member was doing.

        Reply ↓
    2. Great Frogs of Literature*

      I would put a LOT more softening language around it, and try to frame it as “Maybe I’m wrong and would like to get clarity,” or “This is a thing that’s confusing/difficult and I would like your help sorting it out.”

      This may not be the best wording, but something like, “I have a question about the llama work assignments. Since you’re the one who schedules the visits and knows how many llamas we will have on a given day, I generally expect that you will assign someone to work with each llama. Am I wrong in that assumption? Is there another way that I should be figuring out how many llamas I’ll need to fit into my schedule?”

      Reply ↓
    3. Clementine*

      You may have a terrible manager who is beyond hope. But even so, never use condescending language. I’d suggest to use language that puts the expectation focus back on yourself, so that you aren’t overtly “expecting” anything of the manager. And you can also phrase polite requests.
      Taking from the letter’s examples:
      With the meeting time example:
      Dear Boss – I won’t be able to attend the Thursday 2 PM meeting due to a root canal appt. I know it would be difficult to reschedule that, given there are 27 people invited. I’ll send you an update so you can tell the group in my place, and please also ask them these questions (…). Happy to provide more details if needed.

      With the minor snafu with another team:
      Dear Boss – I’ve had issues with that team because they don’t post timely updates, so I’m never sure what’s happening, which led to (embarrassing situation). Do you have any suggestions as to how I can work with them to efficiently get the information I need?

      Reply ↓
    4. cosmicgorilla*

      Diomedea Exulans, I would change the wording from expectations to understanding. Go in with a questioning, clarity-seeking attitude, rather than a “telling them what to do” mindset. Think of it not as “communicating your expectations” but as “asking what can I expect” or ” asking how should I handle.”

      You shouldn’t be telling your manager what YOU expect. That would definitely be obnoxious. You can say, “this is my understanding of how to handle x situation. Do I have it correct?”

      And you may have to add additional detail. “My understanding is that I should do x by Friday AM, so the llama teapot glazers can put on the final glaze on Friday afternoon, so the fired piece will be ready for the showroom floor by Monday AM.” Maybe you’re wrong, and your manager doesn’t want you concentrating on that task on Friday AM. Maybe that’s not your priority. Maybe you’re responding to pressure from the glazers to meet that deadline, but perhaps there’s a reason for allowing the inventory to be delayed that wasn’t communicated to you (or to the glazers). Or maybe the glazers just don’t want to work late on a Friday, hence the pressure on you, but that’s the expectation from THEIR manager.

      Silly example, but my point is that you may be operating under one set of assumptions about your priorities and expected deadlines, and your manager may have another. Asking for clarity, spelling out the roadblocks (in order for x to happen, my understanding is that y needs to happen), asking for help in managing expectations and deadlines…this will get you a lot farther.

      And also – “manager, how would you prefer I communicate this to you?” It could be a daily email, a weekly meeting, Slack messages… Present yourself as willing to work with them and willing to seek their advice.

      Reply ↓
    5. A Manager for Now*

      “I was wondering if we could”
      “It would help me accomplish my goals if”
      “I’d like to try”

      just off the top of my head without knowing exactly which duties are being neglected

      Reply ↓
  20. Palmer*

    I think a piece of advice I’d include is letting him know how self sabotaging he’s being as that will help make this bad behavior go completely extinct, rather than needing to deal with it each time.

    “Mortimer, it seems your expectations of your direct manager are often significantly unaligned with their perspective on how best to move forward. Being so vocal and exacting about those expectations is something that can really harm your long term prospects and career aspirations. I do not mind correcting you or conveying why some expectations are ill-advised, but other superiors might question your competency or organization managing political skills.”

    Basically say “It’s okay, but you should stop this as eventually you’ll run out someone’s patience”

    I’d workshop this statement a few times, but the goal is to say “You’re bad at managing up, doing this will harm your chance of leadership or promotion”

    Reply ↓
  21. Christmas Carol*

    And if you’re tired of women busting your balls, try keeping them in your pants instead of pulling them out and waving them around all the time.

    Reply ↓
  22. ArtK*

    “Smile and ignore” just gives him permission to continue. This needs to be stomped on, with hob-nail boots, quickly. Alison’s responses in the article are good.

    Reply ↓
      1. Tabby Baltimore*

        I want an update letting us know how things are going *now* and whether this employee eventually left, or are he and his unspoken expectations still hanging around?

        Reply ↓
  24. COBOL Dinosaur*

    I wonder if we as women are going to see more and more of this behavior as white men continue to label all women as ‘DEI Hires’ and insinuating that we don’t have our jobs because we are qualified to have them and only have them because we were a ‘DEI Hire’.

    Reply ↓
      1. A. Lab Rabbit*

        I think assuming that COBOL Dinosaur meant “we as the readers of this blog are all women” and not what they actually said is a very weird take. You are making a straw man argument here. The question they are asking is valid, and one that is very worrying.

        Reply ↓
      2. Productivity Pigeon*

        That’s not what COBOL Dinasaur is saying.

        She’s saying that women as a group, that she and others in this thread belong to, will be seeing trouble from white men.

        COBOL Dinasaur can’t speak for men or non-binary people. So she didn’t.

        Reply ↓
    2. A. Lab Rabbit*

      Yes, I think this is going to happen a lot more. Labeling someone as a ‘DEI Hire’ takes the focus away from their skills and knowledge and opens the door to hiring mediocre white men, because of course white dudes are just automatically qualified from birth. It’s ensaddening.

      Reply ↓
    3. Elbe*

      Yes, and also with the manosphere stuff that is showing up in schools. Apparently it’s become common in some areas for young male students to refuse instruction from female teachers.

      Reply ↓
      1. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

        Whaaat! Don’t the students get told they don’t have the option of refusing instructions ? Do they get an automatic F grade?

        Reply ↓
  25. Funbud*

    In response to this guy:

    “Well, MY expectation is for you to STFU!”

    I never would have made it in academia.

    Reply ↓
  26. Foreign academic in the US*

    This was all coming across as very condescending — and I was prepared to fully agree with LW — until I read the update and realised that the setting for this drama was academia.

    LW and the ’employee’ appear to be faculty members at the same university department and were in the running to be department chair. That also implies both were tenured, which adds to the ‘burying the lede’ aspect of things.

    Things are different in academia than elsewhere. He may technically have been an employee but faculty, particularly tenured faculty, are not necessarily deferential to the chair and deputy chair in the way that junior employees are deferential to senior employees in the private sector. They view themselves as peers regardless of the organisational chart and this is accepted practice.

    Reply ↓
    1. MassMatt*

      OK, but this guy saying “my expectation is you will change the time of the meeting” is still obnoxious.

      Reply ↓
      1. A. Lab Rabbit*

        Exactly. Things may be different in academia, but this guy didn’t view LW as a peer at all. He was just a straight-up ass.

        Academia may be its own world, but being is academia is still no excuse for being rude.

        Reply ↓
  27. Spiders Everywhere*

    This is the business manifestation of pick-up artist brain and I feel terrible for anyone who has to deal with this guy in a social setting

    Reply ↓
  28. remington*

    I don’t have anything to suggest, just wanted to add you have a surprisingly calm attitude about something that just hearing about spiked my heartbeat and made me furious. You don’t sound like a manager who needs to be managed-up at all. Best of luck, OP!

    Reply ↓
  29. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    An old letter, but topical. Mediocre white male pushing his way to the front. Likely to appear more and more in your office as women and people of colour get pushed out.

    Reply ↓
  30. Bad Wolf*

    I had a student like that. I was teaching a graduate level class. He was an older student (10-15 years my senior). First day, he stayed after class to critique my performance and offer advice. I cut him short and asked if there was anything specific he needed from me. He stammered something about just trying to help. I shut it down. And to his credit, he did not try again… Until the end of the semester when the course completed, he asked me out on date. Ugh. My eyes rolled back so far into my head I thought I’d lost a contact lens. Of course, I said no.

    Reply ↓

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