a real-life salary negotiation (with emails!)

by Alison Green on April 17, 2025

A salary negotiation success story from a reader:

Due to a lack of backfills, I’ve absorbed the work of some attritions over the last couple of years and have been operating for some time as three raccoons in a trench coat. I’ve far exceeded expectations and have been recognized in performance reviews (although not raises — my company has been well below cost of living for some time, with my department averaging around 2% annually since 2020). Now the very rare event for my company has happened where they’ve decided to permanently promote the job level of my existing role — to take what I’ve made it into and actually give it the appropriate title and pay. Hooray! Due to some transition on the team, I am also about to be the longest-tenured teammate, and have been asked to commit to a specific minimum period of time in role with some additional leadership responsibilities so that everything doesn’t go tits up while I train a whole new crop of folks.

My boss came to me with an official promotion date and proposed salary. I’ve done a ton of research over the last year as I’ve been interviewing externally (knowing I’ve been underpaid) and doing research internally, so I had a number in mind that we’ll call $X4, which would have been a 40% increase over my current pay. In my mind, I was aiming for $X3, a 30% increase. Boss shared a number that got me partway there, $X2. After I asked if there was wiggle room, he asked if I had a number in mind. I said yes, and that I’d send him an email. This is what I sent:

Hi Boss – Thank you again for the recognition of my hard work and leadership on the otter analytics team. I am excited to step into a more formalized leadership role and remain dedicated to ensuring the success of this program while growing the capabilities of the team.

I’d like to have a discussion about my compensation. Based on my internal and external research, the proposed base of $X2 is not aligned to what others in this role have been paid, nor the market rate for comparable jobs/experience. Attached is some of my research for similar and even more junior roles. (I had attached four postings with salaries listed, some even with target starting ranges; two were within our direct industry, including one with a direct competitor. My role is very niche and not all companies have it, not even all companies within our industry, so market research can be tough.)

Ultimately, I’m looking for my base salary to be $X4.

In addition to the overall scope of this role, I feel this reflects the value I bring to the team: my experience, capabilities, institutional knowledge, and proven performance.

I look forward to further discussion and seeing what the future holds for this team!

Thank you,
Me

A day went by and he called me with a number that was not $X4, but was now $X2.7 — they had come up, but not to that $X3 number I was really holding out for. He could tell I wasn’t thrilled and asked me to think on it over the weekend. I did, then went back one more time:

Thank you again for the update on my promotion. I would like some additional consideration on my base compensation, targeting closer to $X3.3-X3.5.

The current amount of $X2.7 does not reflect the full scope of this role. I have committed not only to leading [program] through the 2026 cycle to ensure continuity, but also to spend significant time both training multiple newcomers and working through [major strategic project that has a ton of company dollars and eyeballs attached to it], which relies both on my [program] knowledge and my experience working as a product owner for [internal tools he was previously unaware of my experience on].

Additionally, I’ve led the team through over X hours of [efficiency program] savings over the last two years which conservatively save over $X in labor annually while reducing both risk and speed to delivery in multiple facets of our process. I remain committed to furthering our efforts to simplify, automate, improve, and reduce risk, and in fact have already done so in 2025 through both [two major projects I’ve already identified, initiated, and completed on my own this year].

I look forward to further discussion.

Me

Unfortunately that email did not net me anything additional. I got a short speech about the political capital it took to get me from $X2 to $X2.7, but did get a commitment to revisit both my title and pay at year end. I could tell my boss was nervous I would walk over the lack of additional funds; while I was/am disappointed to not have hit $X3, there are more factors at play than can fit into this email and I am happy enough for the time being. Because I committed to a certain length of time in this role, I do have a loose “out” date set and, whether it’s within this role or the next, there will be another reckoning with compensation soon enough. Meanwhile, I’m all but guaranteed a bump in title and a decent bonus at year end as long as I don’t completely destroy the program in my first year as a leader!

This language and strategy worked for me because I knew they were in a serious bind if I walked. They are motivated to keep me not only in my role and on my team, but at this company. I am one of our top performers globally and would be considered a loss in terms of talent planning. I had leverage, and I used it about as well as I could have without damaging my reputation. Advocating for myself was incredibly uncomfortable and my heart rate skyrocketed more than once while writing these emails and having these conversations, but they were necessary to get me anything close to what I am worth — a 27% increase isn’t nothing, even if it was on an underpaid salary to begin with.

Thank you, Alison and the AAM commentariat for your years of collective wit and wisdom — they’ve been both valuable and invaluable!

You may also like:
{ 61 comments }

{ 61 comments… read them below }

  1. ActuallyOP*

    OP here! I left a bunch of stuff out of my note to Alison for the sake of keeping things somewhat pointed, but I love when OPs drop additional context in the comments and wanted to take a moment to do the same. Let me know what else I can answer – I’m slammed at work today (and it’s one of my in-office days, so can’t keep this up on a second monitor) but will come back at the end of the day at a minimum to respond.

    * I realize the title bumps I speak of might be confusing. Basically, our titles have two parts: an officer title (e.g., AVP), and a functional title with level (e.g., Otter Analytics Consultant I). While the two are loosely tied together to ensure that they roughly align in terms of seniority/level, they are not linked per se. This promotion bumped my level (Consultant I > II). The criteria for moving from AVP > VP has been met, but those titles are only awarded once a year through a specific process except in exceedingly rare circumstances. So while I asked for an exception and was predictably denied, I am almost guaranteed to be promoted to VP in the upcoming cycle.

    * Why did my boss not know about some of my previous, now relevant experience? He inherited my team not too long ago, prior to this strategic project being approved. So until there was funding, there wasn’t a need to assess staffing. Don’t worry – it’s on my resume :)

    * A 40% bump for an internal promotion in my department is basically unheard of, and I recognize that 27% is also a lot. That increase is on an underpaid salary to begin with, though. Predictably, management did try to spin it favorably as “big percentage = good” and “can’t control what you were paid/how you were leveled before you got to us,” which… fair. But it led to some good conversations on my current department head’s philosophy on raises, which seems to differ enough from that of my prior department head that I have hope for meaningful increases down the line (not so much before). I did find out through back channels that my new salary puts me in the middle of the pack for my job level within my department – so with folks who have been in role probably 3-5 years. Considering I’ve been functionally working at this level for 2 years already… Thank goodness I went back and asked for more, or I definitely would have been on the lower end.

    * I have started keeping a spreadsheet of market research since my role is so tough to come by in the wild, and each posting on that spreadsheet is also saved as a PDF to Google Drive so I have the full JD to reference in the future if needed. I also have crafted a salary and benefits comparison worksheet over the last year and a half which helps me see what the true differences are between my current and a proposed future package – I’m nothing without data-driven decision making! Both files were heavily employed during this negotiation.

    * If I present an external offer, my company will likely match or exceed it – that usually comes from a different bucket o’ money, and they are very much up the creek if I walk. But I don’t have the energy to keep interviewing right now and am treading lightly in terms of politics/relationships for a bit while the dust settles. My industry is large but runs in tight circles, and I live in one of the most prominent industry cities in our country. I have my reputation as a whole to consider; while a play like that is not uncommon, it’s not one I want to necessarily be known for having made. That said, it is widely known in my department that the proven path to a hefty bump is to leave and come back – countless times we have witnessed coworkers go to a competitor and come back even just a year later at a higher job level and with substantially more pay. And note that we are not in sales or anything revenue-generating – we are under the HR umbrella!

    * A lesson for all of you in succession planning: When someone tells you they aren’t the succession plan and don’t want to take over X role when it is eventually vacant – believe them. Especially when they say it emphatically and repeatedly over the course of several years. It doesn’t matter how well-suited you think they are for that role; if they don’t want it, you should not be mentally penciling them into that future vacancy. But if you do that anyways and then are left scrambling to fill that role… Well, everyone has a price. Mine happened to also include a list of duties I refused to take over.

    * My company is one of the few in our industry who has not conducted any major layoffs since before the pandemic, and they remain committed to doing so (which is how I ended up absorbing the attrite work – not backfilling is how you avoid cuts). We aren’t competitive to the market on salaries; however, our benefits are good (if expensive), I have a strong network and reputation here, and job security means more to me right now than a few thousand dollars extra (hello, recession). Additionally, I have quite a bit of flexibility in terms of schedule to manage caregiving responsibilities as well as my own complex healthcare needs – it’s not all bad! My spouse also works for the same company (different department) and is underpaid/overperforming; it’s now their turn to make a move either up or (more likely) out now that my role is settled for the near future.

    Cheers!

    1. Clearlier*

      You got 90% of what you wanted OP. Well done, that’s a successful negotiation.

      When you reflect on everything is there anything that you would do differently?

      1. ActuallyOP*

        Thanks! Honestly, not much. I continue to keep scope of role and succession planning (as well as my workload and mental health) a topic of frequent conversation in 1:1s with my boss so that I can try and make things a little bit better for whoever takes over once I walk away. All things considered, while there are things I could have done differently, they would have come with costs that I wouldn’t have loved.

    3. Anon a preferred successor*

      I so appreciate what you said about succession planning. I am definitely the preferred succession plan if my boss leaves our office, and I will absolutely not take that job. Honestly, for me there is no price I know they can offer since we are federal, and well.. all that that comes with at the moment. I’ve told many people over the years, including both times when I covered for my boss during medical leaves, that I am not the plan B if someone needs to do more than patch a hole.

      I’m glad you got what you were ultimately satisfied with out of this process!

        1. Judy*

          Yeah, I didn’t see that story as a success. Internal promotions rarely result in much of a pay increase. They’ll just give her more nonsense at the end of the year. She should continue to job search.

    4. LaminarFlow*

      Popping in to say congrats, extremely well done, and thank you for sharing this out! I love how you took the time to research comp for your role within the company and industry, and how you communicated that info to your boss.

      Your company is lucky to have you, and I hope all goes well with your promotion!

    5. Artemesia*

      I hope you are looking hard and will take the right job even if it comes within the time you
      ‘committed to’ since they didn’t commit to you.

      1. ActuallyOP*

        Taking a beat to get through our busy season and recover from the stress from this whole process + the season and will be back at it actively. Keeping my ear to the ground always!

    6. Reluctant Mezzo*

      Consider walking anyway. Something better than you have now may well drop out of the sky, and to mix a metaphor, set that soup bowl out just in case.

      If something happens to your company, which is a real possibility, you’ll have to look anyway. Keep the feelers out.

  2. RedinSC*

    Good job in the negotiation.

    But I’m disappointed for you not getting to the #X3 amount. I might have closed with, since we’re not able to get to the $X3.3 amount, I will need to remove the length of time guarantee. Because, as you said, you’re niche, competitors are paying more, I think committing to this for a year+ isn’t necessarily in your best interest.

    I get that your boss used capital to get you to the $X2.7, BUT underpaid is underpaid, AND they’re getting a LOT of value of you there.

    1. Ally McBeal*

      That’s where I’m at. Although I suppose OP doesn’t have to say it outright unless they’ve signed a contract committing to that length of time. If OP leaves in 6 months because they’ve found an employer that can pay its workers properly, their current company almost certainly can’t claw back 6 months of increased wages.

      1. ActuallyOP*

        No contract, no clawback – just good faith (simultaneously risky and comforting). Potential for me to get out earlier depending on staffing, availability of whatever my next role ends up being and what transition plan can be worked out (if I stay internal), etc. My “out” date is really a sixish month window – I would like to be out in the early part of it, and my boss is hoping for somewhere in the later part. We shall see.

    2. Beth*

      I feel like this is often reality, though – we do our research and set our goals, and then we actually enter the negotiation and see what happens, and sometimes we don’t get everything we aimed for.

      It sounds like OP pushed hard and really did get everything that’s possible at this time. We can debate in a void whether more should have been possible, but it’s not unusual in practice for organizations to have caps on what they can fit into their budget for a role. In this case, it sounds like OP already knows that without tapping into the “I have an external offer, will you match it?” pool, this kind of increase has some known limits at their org. (And given the economy, I can’t blame them for not looking for an external offer or a new job right now!)

      If I was OP’s boss, I’d be 1) thanking my lucky stars that OP accepted this deal despite it clearly being lower than they wanted, and 2) I’d be looking hard for ways to increase OP’s compensation over the next few years, since I now know this is a point of dissatisfaction. I hope that matches what their boss is actually thinking, and they see some serious salary growth soon.

    3. Great Frogs of Literature*

      While I’m disappointed for OP too (great job on the research and negotiation, OP!), I actually think the length of time guarantee isn’t necessarily a bad thing (even if it does lock OP in — as they said, there are other good reasons to stay). It means the employer now has a bit of a deadline to pony up more money — they know OP wanted more, and OP committed to THIS much time at $X2.7, but if I were OP’s manager I’d really be looking for a way to come up with a salary closer to $X3.3 by the time that year+ elapses, for fear of losing someone very important to the team after that.

      1. KitKat*

        I agree with this POV. There’s only so much you can do when they are determined to think of it in terms of percent increase (which is NOT a fair way to determine compensation). OP pushed as firmly as they could while still reserving their leverage for the next fight.

    4. Laser99*

      I am also annoyed on her behalf. Considering she is doing the work of three raccoons—I mean people—it should have been more.

    5. Sloanicota*

      Yes, but I also think it’s quite realistic and a good example. OP negotiated and got a lot more than what they were initially offering. OP didn’t get everything they want and deserve. The sky didn’t fall, and they’re in a good place to keep advocating for themselves in the future.

      1. Reluctant Mezzo*

        And there’s no law against keeping feelers out anyway. Just because she thinks her job is secure doesn’t mean that her company is.

  4. Just a Pile of Oranges*

    To this day, I have yet to have the courage to negotiate. Maybe one day I will absorb enough courage vicariously from the awesome success stories here.

    Great job OP, you really advocated for yourself.

    1. Ally McBeal*

      Start small! When I moved over from a for-profit to a non-profit, they initially offered me exactly what I was making at my for-profit, ~$60k. I ginned up all the courage in my body and asked for $62.5k because I didn’t want to jump ship without SOME sort of a raise. They agreed to it immediately and frankly I probably could’ve negotiated $65k.

      1. SansaStark*

        The nice thing about starting small is that the worst thing is that they can say no. I’ve heard no more than I’ve heard yes, and that’s ok. But those small ones prepped me for the big one and I got a yes on that one!

    2. Hlao-roo*

      Check out the previous post “you should ask for more money when you get a job offer. here’s how.” from August 25, 2021! It has links to other success stories, and also links to other useful posts that talk about setting salary expectations, how to negotiate, etc.

      I’ll post a link in a reply.

    3. ActuallyOP*

      Thank you! It was really scary but incredibly necessary. It helped that I had a good friend/mentor in my ear the whole time who was pushing me to go for more, and having the leverage I did knowing they were in a bind without me also gave me a bit of confidence.

      Know your circumstances and your audience well enough to read the situation, but go forth and ask! Alison has posted great advice over the years not just on how to ask, but on timing, researching your worth, etc. If you play it smart, the worst they say is “no,” and that’s valuable information.

      Onward!

    4. LBD*

      Sometimes, what we need even more than courage, is a good script. Or at least, a good script to bolster our courage! AAM has some good scripts, and it never hurts to rehearse even if you don’t plan on asking at this time.

  5. r..*

    LW,

    I hate to be this guy … but if your average raise since 2020 was around 2%, more than half of that 27% goes towards just putting you where you would have been, had you been given CoL raises in line with actual inflation.

    I can understand that, especially with the current state of the US economy, you are happy with the raise due to other considerations. However that doesn’t change the fact that you got a ~10% raise in real terms for the title change, the additional work, and the additional responsibility.

    Likewise, future pay increases. If a company wants to dangle the perspective of future raises to compensate for lower raises right now, they can commit to them in writing; we do “your monthly salary is for the first six months after promotion/hire, with an increase of y (for a total of ) after the first six month” and similar agreements all the time.

    This is why I always recommend to people they should track their compensation in constant-year currency of the year they took the job: To keep track of your wage in real terms, and to understand that any raise below inflation is a paycut in real economic terms.

    Again, you may accept that paycut due to circumstances, but you should never lie to yourself by not admitting you’re taking a paycut, and you should not allow others to gaslight you into lying to yourself by claiming they were giving you a nominal pay increase.

    1. ActuallyOP*

      For sure, and I’ve done that monster math. Reality is that this is where I am at for now. Chances are decent that I leave the company after my committed time. Right now the increase I did end up with is not insignificant for my family in terms of the breathing room it gives us, and that’s a lot more than I can say since our salaries have not kept up with COL. Suddenly being brought up to COL and then a tiny bit more is mentally a game changer (Sam Reich has been here the whole time).

      1. Reluctant Mezzo*

        Pay down debt and save every penny. There’s no guarantee your company will survive the upcoming economic storms.

    2. Sloanicota*

      Well, I’m not OP but none of my recent jobs have offered COLA; they’re all struggling to keep the lights on (I am in a field likely to be affected by the federal cuts). I can’t force them to pay me what I think I’m worth if the money just isn’t there. So OP did well to advocate for their raise, IMO.

      1. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

        r.. isn’t talking about forcing someone to pay more. This is for OP to acknowledge to themselves. They didn’t functionally get a 27% raise since they were essentially owed back raises that never happened. Each time they took on more work without more compensation. Each time they got a great review praising their over and above work without more compensation.

        You/they can still accept what money is offered now, but you shouldn’t accept the company’s framing of the numbers offered along with it. Know that you are still underpaid, no matter what TPTB say.

  6. Emily Byrd Starr*

    You lost me at “three raccoons in a trenchcoat.” I assume that is a metaphor, but what does it mean? At least, I sure hope it’s a metaphor, because the alternative would be very weird!

    2. ActuallyOP*

      Definitely a metaphor for how chaotic it has been and how many FTE I have been effectively operating as!

    3. Debby*

      Emily Byrd Starr: Literally, three racoons working as 1 person (to impersonate a human). Figuratively, it means one person (the trench coat) doing the work of three people (the three racoons). Don’t know if that helps or not :)

      1. sparkle emoji*

        Yes, with the mental image being the common gag in children’s movies with {kids/muppets/raccoons} stacking on each others shoulders and wearing a trench coat to hide it.

    4. MyStars*

      imagine 3 raccoons standing on each other’s shoulders to approximate human height, and hiding the deception with a long trenchcoat. In movies and cartoons, typically hilarity ensues.

  7. Notional Ne'er do well*

    OP, I have to say, I am a little irked on your behalf at your boss coming back at you complaining about how much “political capital” he spent to get you less than half of what you were worth.

    He should have been happy to bring your case upline!! Hopefully when he talked to you about this, he did so without much attitude because if I were in his role I would have NEVER bothered mentioning it. That reply is him whining you made him do something he was uncomfortable with (confronting the higher-ups with facts) and trying to guilt you into not pushing back in the future.

    Hopefully he’s a better boss at other things.

    1. ActuallyOP*

      Hit or miss tbh. Ineloquent as it was, he was trying to firmly make the point of “asked and answered”.

      He doesn’t have control over my salary; this all gets orchestrated by our comp department and HR partner. And apparently they went and pulled in some people high up enough on the food chain that it ruffled feathers… Whatever. I have zero patience for corporate politics, which is why I have zero aspirations to ascend to higher leadership here.

    2. MsM*

      It might not have been framed as a complaint. I’ve had bosses really stress how hard they went to the mat for me by way of apology – and maybe once or twice as their way of flagging “you and I both know you’re worth more than this, but you’re not going to get it here.”

      1. Notional Ne'er do well*

        I get what you’re saying, but “complaint” was how it read to me due to “short speech”.

        Thanks to ActuallyOP for replying; I think you took the right approach and glad you got an outcome you can live with for now.

    3. fhqwhgads*

      Yeah given the data OP went in with, that boss should’ve been mortified and scared shitless OP’d walk immediately.

  8. ILoveLlamas*

    This is so timely for me! I have an upcoming negotiation so I appreciate the IRL example. Congratulations on your win!

  9. Debby*

    PO, I can but only admire you! The 27% you got is wonderful! I calculated it using my current pay and it was a significant jump in pay. I wish I had your courage-I haven’t had a raise in almost 5 years. The Plant Employees have gotten three since I started; I am the only one in admin, and manufacturing doesn’t place a huge value on admin. I know I need to muster up the courage to ask, and you are an inspiration :)

  10. Anon for Today!*

    Okay, I just spent 45 minutes looking for the emails that I hoped existed from a promotion I got back in 2018. They did, so I wanted to share:

    At my organization, the supervisor makes a salary request when they make the promotion request. I’m the one who filled out all of my paperwork with a little input from my supervisor, so essentially, I was making my own requests.

    In 2016, I received a one pay grade promotion that was accompanied by a 26% raise that I didn’t ask for or negotiate. (I was elated, naturally)

    In 2018, when applying for another promotion that was a two paygrade jump, HR advised us to request a 10% increase (they told me 5% per pay grade was standard) or only jump one pay grade so I had room to grow, then follow up with a equity salary adjustment post-promotion. My response was:

    “My primary concern with taking the lower position would be the evolution of my duties as they are versus where I expect them to be in the next 12-18 months. My position has evolved faster than we anticipated when we promoted the last time. Considering the standard job factors, the work I am doing is that of a [two paygrade promotion]. I worry there won’t be a significant change in 12-18 months that would warrant another bump.

    I was expecting more than 10% – the last time I was promoted I received a 26% increase with the rationale of equity with similar positions.”

    I ended up submitting a 15% increase and was granted a 15.57% increase with no further haggling.

    1. ActuallyOP*

      Whoa – way to advocate for yourself (and thanks for saving/sharing those messages)!

    2. Shiny Penny*

      Thanks for sharing! You and today’s OP are rockstars of (stressful!) self-advocacy! It’s so useful to see some exact wording

  11. Agile Phalanges*

    Good for you, OP! Hopefully the title and pay bump up even more at the end of the year.

    I’ve asked for raises twice at my current company, and provided the backup like you describe–spreadsheet with job openings and salary ranges, job descriptions saved as PDFs at the ready. Each time, I asked for an amount, and then accepted when they came back with a slightly smaller number, and didn’t negotiate after that. But I probably didn’t have quite the leverage that it seems you do. :-)

    1. ActuallyOP*

      I definitely approached it as ‘ask for more than you expect to settle for’. If you ask for X and they immediately grant it without question, there’s definitely money left in the banana stand.

      1. Tangerine Protumberance*

        ActuallyOP, I have to commend you on your research, negotiation skills, writing style, and the excellent Game Changed and Arrested Development references. Truly loving everything about both this post and the comments today!

Comments are closed.