where are you now? (a call for updates)

by Alison Green on November 3, 2016

At the end of each year, I publish a slew of “where are they now” updates from people whose questions I answered here in the past. So…

If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? Leave no juicy detail out! I’ll post updates as they come in. (Don’t post them here though; email them to me.)

And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly.

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{ 271 comments }

{ 271 comments… read them below }

  3. SophieChotek*

    Also the one about being forced to test if one was a compatible donor…I don’t think there was an update to that?

      1. Artemesia*

        I can’t believe that one either — but there are a lot of strange people in the world so maybe so.

        1. DG's gal*

          I know someone that had to go through this and there are certain legalities in the process. One of his friends posted out there on Facebook for people to see if they could be tested for compatibility. She was told to take it down because that wasn’t legal.

    4. offonaLARK*

      I would love to hear an update to this one too! That was the first story that brought me to this site.

    6. Ami*

      What about the boss who had an employee fake cancer for FMLA and the boss learned it by contacting the dr office. I am interested how that played out

    1. misspiggy*

      Ooh yes – I think there was some update on that initially, but it would be great to know how things are now.

  7. jhhj*

    Liver donor tester. Cancer treatment boss who showed up while she was at the clinic. Employer who didn’t let her best employee go to her graduation but let someone else go to a concert.

    1. AMPG*

      Definitely this last one. It’s not every day you get a candidate for Worst Boss of the Year letter written by the boss herself.

      1. Dzhymm, BfD*

        Definitely the last one. I always wanted to know how they were able to cover that oh-so-vitally-important shift that they couldn’t spare the employee for after said employee quit.

  8. Jennifer M.*

    I would love to hear from the manager whose best employee quit because she wasn’t allowed to attend her graduation ceremony. The comments were harsh (understandably!), but I would like to know if the OP got where all the commentators were coming from.

    1. AD*

      I kind of want to hear from that OP, and I kind of don’t (the OP’s letter was so tone deaf I doubt they had a chance of heart/viewpoint).

      1. Ask a Manager* Post author

        I don’t have any reason to think it’s fake! In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s real, although obviously I can never be positive with any letter.

        1. Sami*

          Have you ever published a letter and then later found out it was fake? I know there’s occasionally speculation that a particular letter/situation is fake.

          1. Ask a Manager* Post author

            There was one letter where afterwards someone contacted me and said the letter-writer had significantly misrepresented facts and it was causing a lot of drama in their small industry, and I actually ended up taking it down as a result. But that’s it!

            1. Snork Maiden*

              I was wondering when this would happen. The chocolate teapot industry is notoriously insular and we’ve been dissecting their issues in an awfully casual fashion for several years now!

      2. Dangerfield*

        I think a few of the commenters suspected that it had been written by the graduate rather than the manager, but that the situation described within was real.

        1. Lissa*

          I did think that, to be honest, and I couldn’t even really put my finger on why, which is often the case when something “rings false” to me. It’s rarely about the actual situation being ridiculous, because more over the top situations have not felt that way to me . . . it’s just something about the wording, I guess.

  9. Sunflower*

    The poster who wanted to know if he should tell his employer he was bringing a legally concealed weapon to work. I thought that post was really interesting.

    Any of the ones where LW’s were so sure of themselves and it was just very very off (please add any to these that I’ve missed!)
    -The LW who went over her bosses head when she was on vacation and thought she was fired for taking initiative is my top one though!
    – The intern who wrote the proposal about the dress code and they all got fired
    – The person that didn’t respect her manager’s degree from 2 decades ago

    1. AD*

      A big yes to this!

      -The LW who went over her bosses head when she was on vacation and thought she was fired for taking initiative is my top one though!

    2. drpuma*

      +2!

      -The LW who went over her bosses head when she was on vacation and thought she was fired for taking initiative is my top one though!

    3. Dot Warner*

      Yes to all of these!

      And if by some chance anyone else who was involved in the dress code intern story (either the managers or the lone intern who didn’t get fired) is out there, we’d love to hear from them too!

    4. Jessesgirl72*

      The intern letter is what got me to be a regular reader here, and is the column I talk about in the rest of the internet. I’d love to know if that snowflake got what went wrong, or crawled back into her safe space.

        1. Jessesgirl72*

          You are right, that was unkind. That OP was pretty egregiously unprepared for life outside of academia, though, and so very sure she had done everything exactly right- just as she was taught by her professors, despite being fired and getting the bulk of the other interns fired with her.

          A more kind thing to wonder would be if she realized that the best place to seek advice about an industry should be from people with real experience working in it, instead of those who teach about it. I am also curious to learn if she has considered whether she should make alternative career plans, now that she’s had a taste of how rigid the rules are in that world, and how unhappy living within those rules made her, even on a short-term basis. It’s always a hard come down to learn that something you’ve built up in your mind isn’t as awesome as you idealized it to be. Even when the industry is wonderful and glamorous, those entry level jobs are still pretty stressful and as glamorous as possible. It’s too bad the OP had to learn this lesson in such a spectacular way, but at least she “only” lost an internship over it. The lessons available for her to learn from that could save herself and her next hiring manager a lot of headaches.

      2. Mustache Cat*

        This kind of meanhearted comment is exactly why she probably would not be likely to provide an update. And rightly.

      3. likeOMG*

        Mmmm, did you know that Alison had to filter the comments for the word ‘snowflake’ in the aftermath of that post?

      4. pope suburban*

        A thought: people new to the workforce have always had an adjustment period while they learn professional norms. Even people who would like to think they did not. Even people who had a relatively smooth transition into working. Given that, there is nothing particularly insightful, necessary, or mature about bagging on new workers, or calling names.

        1. Artemesia*

          This. I can think of so many things I did in my first jobs that I now just can only think ‘what on earth was I thinking’ — and always earnestly and trying to do a good job.

          1. Cube Farmer*

            Yes. When I find myself shaking my head at the interns and asking, “Was I ever so naive?!”, I have to remember, yes, yes I was. Cringe is not strong enough of a word for my present reaction to my old-self’s “knowledge”.

        1. Artemesia*

          I thought this was so weird — the idea that one’s education is finished with the degree. I always laugh at people who get a second PhD (unless in a drastically different field) If anything a PhD prepares someone to be a continuous researcher/learner — you need once you have it to be a knowledge creator not a someone sitting in another classroom.

      3. pope suburban*

        Oh, lord. As if any degree gives you the specialized skillset you learn on the job! There is so much that can only be learned from experience, especially if we’re talking about a career track within one particular organization. Degrees are great, don’t get me wrong, but the idea that they’re some kind of end-all, be-all is just silly.

    6. Venus Supreme*

      Woah! I don’t remember the one about the legally concealed weapon. Was it this year? (I became a regular reader around February)

    7. Yikes*

      Allison eventually said somewhere (the comments?) that the intern still stuck up for decision despite all of the negative press.

    8. paul*

      I wish we could. Hell, I had to argue with HR that my (single blade, ~2.5″ ) pocket knife wasn’t a weapon so I’d be allowed to carry it.

      It’s a rare week we don’t call the cops, and while no one–client or staff–has been seriously hurt *yet*, it’s one of those things that seems like a matter of time. We have security, but we’re a non profit so they’re essentially cheap rent a cops that are expected to be good witnesses more than providing any physical security.

  10. (Another) B*

    1. I emailed my girlfriend’s boss to complain that he encroached on our relationship

    2. my manager stole a family heirloom from me and gave it as a gift to someone else

    3. my mother wants to write to the newspaper about my “tragic story of shattered dreams”

    4. my coworker wants us to call her boyfriend her “master”

    5. my new boss cheated in college — and I was the one to investigate him

    Please! :)

        1. babblemouth aka One Of The Greatest Minds Of The 21st Century*

          link to that one? i can’t remember it…

    6. Dankar1208*

      I couldn’t remember which ones I had been interested in and you literally listed all of them in one go! (Particularly the family heirloom one.) So, seconded to all of these, I guess. And thanks!

      1. Mallory Janis Ian*

        I did, too. All I could hear from the boss in that story was, “Having your job would really help out this promising young man I’ve taken under my wing!”

    2. CM*

      She gave a partial update here, in case you didn’t see it: https://www.askamanager.org/2016/08/i-said-eeoc-and-made-it-weird.html#comment-1191664

      Personally, I disagreed with the crowd on that and think it’s perfectly valid for her to have brought up the EEOC, especially in the off-the-cuff context that she did it (which was not “I’m making a complaint to the EEOC” but “sounds more like an EEOC issue that career development”). But then, I’m a lawyer and don’t mind a little conflict for a good cause!

  12. ThisIsNotWhoYouThinkItIs*

    This one was in an open thread (does that count?), but the one where the poster said there was major drama at work that day because the HR person (later fired) sent out salary info that showed the women were being dramatically underpaid at the same level in the company.

    I think the email ended with “now I can sleep at night”. I don’t remember seeing a followup….

  13. Cordelia Naismith*

    I know we already had an update to the LW whose co-worker used profanity and “your mom” jokes to respond to
    “being told what to do,” but I’d love another one, if possible.

  14. Not me*

    Oh shoot! This is so pathetic. I submitted a question that was answered, but I can’t remember what it was!

            1. Natalie*

              I’m assuming the exclamation point means its at least a neutral update if not positive. Hurray!

            3. OhNo*

              Yay! I really liked that OP – they seemed like they were trying to do the right thing, even though it was tough. Fingers crossed that it’s a positive update!

      2. Not So NewReader*

        Oh cool, I hope that situation is going better now. I was kind of cheering for the OP, I have hopes for his situation.

      1. Chocolate Teapot*

        Is that the same one as the employee who spent tens of thousands on a company credit card? I seem to recall an update in which the company arranged a repayment plan, part of which was forfeiting some paid benefits. (?)

  17. Tax Accountant*

    I cant remember if this is from this year or not, but the one with the guy who hated all jobs he had ever had and hated working in general and felt like he was always doing the bare minimum.

      1. Anon Accountant*

        I realize you weren’t referring to the LW so this really made my Friday morning! Thanks for the early morning laugh. I needed that

  18. GigglyPuff*

    Soooo many
    pretty sure these don’t have updates
    -pregnant OP with the political break room
    -I was fired for taking initiative (and undermining my manager)
    -my boss freaked out when he saw my menstrual products and called me unprofessional
    -I was fired from my internship for writing a proposal for a more flexible dress code
    (although I could totally understand why they wouldn’t want to update)
    -coworker with anxiety keeps asking us to drive her home and stay there with her
    -my employees argued over gay rights and now they want their coworker fired

    2. GigglyPuff*

      Checked the archives got more:
      -an employee walked away from me while I was trying to talk to him
      -my coworker is a rude, inconsiderate bully — but am I being too sensitive?
      -I emailed my girlfriend’s boss to complain that he encroached on our relationship
      -I have an inappropriate coworker and our mothers are friends

      Also I don’t think it’s from this year, but was there ever an update from the article about the husband who contacted his wife’s employer and quit for her?

      1. KWalmostB*

        That last be was a doozy! And the OP was quite defensive and didn’t seem to see where the massive majority of the comnenters’ concerns were coming from. I don’t think she’ll respond at all.

      2. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

        There was (sorta)! The original post was from 2012 and had no update—any follow up came in the comments, wherein OP was basically super defensive about why her husband’s behavior wasn’t batshit crazy. Since then, however, I don’t think we’ve heard any other updates…

  19. CBH*

    I’m not sure if these were from this year or not (I read AAM archives on my breaks! the years get mushed together)… I’d love updates on:

    – the nanny who was caring for a special needs child; the child’s mother wanted her to come on vacation
    – the intern who wrote the dress code proposal (I think there was an update, but wonder how things are going)
    – boss insisting on everyone being tested as a liver donor for a family member
    – the boss who wouldn’t let his employee go to their college graduation (not asking for harsh comments again; just curious if the boss learned anything, how the department adjusted and how college student succeeded)
    – lady who manages her daughter and someone complained.

    Love your sight Alison; it’s very informative

    1. CBH*

      Yes this one! I keep reading the comments, there are so many stories I forgot about. I enjoy reading the updates. I hope Alison gets a lot this year!

  21. ZenJen*

    here’s the 2 I’d love to hear updates on:

    –the employee who was being bullied into dropping truth bombs on the CEO

    –the employee sharing an office with a hoarder (and NOBODY else would do anything about it)

  23. Fridaaaaaaaay*

    What was that one where the OP’s boss wanted to host some huge mandatory work event…on election night! As we near the finish line, I hope that OP doesn’t have to work any event on Tuesday!

  24. Miss Elaine E*

    I too would love to see an update about the heirloom train story — and really hope the OP got the train back
    Also, an update on the boss who denied the employee an hour off to attend graduation. (Though, I doubt the boss will respond to a request for an update based on the responses to the original post. I’d like to think the boss has that much shame at least.)

  25. Liz*

    I can’t remember if this was this year but I’d love to hear back from the manager who had to tell her employee to stop harassing the person with the prosthetic leg (I think I have the details right). I felt so bad for that employee (with the prosthesis), I hoped the manager was able to do something about it!

  26. SaaSyPaaS*

    Oh, I’d also love to hear an update from Monday’s OP who had an employee in a neighboring department trying to bully her into letting him on her team.

  27. Lady Phoenix*

    1. Another update on the OP who was forced to “manage” a misogynistic POS while her manager did nothing to help.
    2. The OP who was threatened to donate his body part
    3. An update not by the OP, but by the Employee who quit her job because her boss refused to give her time off to graduate
    4. OP who found a bullet case on their desk
    5. OP with the Boss that abused her step-child and pet
    6. OP who thought his gf’s boss was getting between their relationship
    7. The OP who was fired from her internship for making a dress-code petition
    8. The OP who was being abused and not paid for designing: https://www.askamanager.org/2016/08/my-boss-is-verbally-abusive-and-wont-pay-me.html
    9. The OP who was dealing with an asshole who wouldn’t stop talking about someone else’s prothetic limb
    10. The OP whose ex shared nudes of her at work: https://www.askamanager.org/2013/06/my-coworker-shared-nude-photos-of-me-at-work.html

  28. Cody's Dad*

    It was last year but we NEED another update on the duck club!!

    For new readers a letter writer wrote in on how to handle an office sex club where employees would “quack” at one another to signal interest and earn points for having sex at work. The update reported the OP’s boss’ boss dismissed it and “quacked” on the way out leaving the OP baffled. Definitely worth a read in the archives!

        2. Murphy*

          Thanks! :-D

          And uh…wow. I don’t think there’s anything I can say about that. How wildly gross and unprofessional. (Especially the possibly breaking into other people’s cars stuff.) I can’t believe the OP saw it as NBD!

  29. ZSD*

    The liver donation boss, obviously
    The person whose boss showed up at her chemo treatments (which somehow led to the receptionist, not the boss, getting fired)
    The person who went over their boss’s head and said things like, “Obviously sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, right?” (This is the one where I derailed the conversation by suggesting that the letter was fake.)
    The person whose employee said she’d taken another job, offered to keep working for the current company for one day per week, and insisted that if they declined the offer, it was a “termination” rather than resignation
    The person whose co-workers wanted to send a group photo to a grieving co-worker – did they manage to convince people that this was a bad idea?
    The person who was managing her daughter and wanted to know how to handle a complaint about said daughter from a co-worker; you told her that, duh, she shouldn’t be managing her daughter
    The person who wanted to know how to follow up on a job but mentioned in passing that the company had threatened legal action if they contacted the HR person again, and didn’t seem to get that this was indication that they should stop contacting the company in general
    This was posted on an open thread – an HR assistant emailed everyone in the company information showing that women at the company were systematically paid less than men and ended the email saying, “Now I can sleep at night.” She got fired. (She wasn’t the person who posted this to the thread.) Did the company rectify the pay differences? (Poster name was “Anonymous Guy”)
    The Drano incident (though I’m kind of loath to hear more since I almost had to throw up the first time)
    The former intern who was fired for starting a petition to have a less formal dress code
    The manager who wouldn’t give her best employee two hours off to attend her college graduation, and then was upset that the employee quit
    The person whose boss was bragging about abusing her stepchild and dogs
    The 20-something woman whose mother wanted to write a letter to the newspaper talking about how horribly her daughter had been mistreated in the tech world
    The person who received a bad reference from a manager, only to learn that that same manager later hired the person she’d given the bad reference for. (Posted 10/18)
    The person whose boss was pressuring them into sharing food (11/2)

    1. marymoocow*

      I’m having trouble finding the post about calling it a resignation if the company won’t allow the LW to consult once a week. Would you mind linking that? It sounds interesting.

    2. Natalie*

      Drano, drano… clearly my brain has forgotten that one to protect me from some kind of grossness.

    4. I GOTS TO KNOW!*

      Link to this one?

      The person who wanted to know how to follow up on a job but mentioned in passing that the company had threatened legal action if they contacted the HR person again, and didn’t seem to get that this was indication that they should stop contacting the company in general

    5. outofcontext*

      I came to this post just to ask for an update on the chemo letter! I am so concerned about the writer (and also really really hoping their company was sued into oblivion…).

  30. Sherm*

    1) The 12-paragraph rant about office supplies

    2) The boss who accused his employee of faking a panic attack to get out of a meeting. (I know there’s been a couple updates, but it seemed like an ongoing situation.)

    3) The verbally abusive boss who wouldn’t pay his employee.

    4) The workplace where nails have been found in people’s tires (and the OP wrote in mentioning signs that his employees may be actively trying to sabotage him).

    5) The horse letter from today.

  31. Dot Warner*

    -The manager whose new hire sprang a big vacation on them at the last minute
    -Funeral interrupting boss (from an open thread back in April)
    -The manager with a junior team member insisting on a window seat
    -The OP who wasn’t sure if their coworker was actually ill or just vacationing
    -The OP who didn’t speak French but their job required it
    -The coworker who was intentionally putting nails in people’s tires
    -The lady who cleaned the break room sink with Drano
    -The OP who asked if they should go to law school when they don’t want to be a lawyer
    -The OP who works in healthcare and wanted to to turn down a job offer because flu shots are required

  32. Observer*

    What about the workplace where people were being required to participate in birthday parties etc. and WOMEN were being required to organize showers.

  33. Dot Warner*

    One more: the OP who was in dire financial straits but had been offered a job a the company where her abusive ex works!

  34. Lizbeth*

    I think other comments mentioned most of the ones I’m curious about (prosthetic limb, donor, car tires with nails, drano, etc…).

    I’d also like to add:
    1. “my coworkers deleted my part of a report”
    2. “my boss is constantly commenting on my face and telling me to smile

    2. ThisIsNotWhoYouThinkItIs*

      Oh yeah, the report deletion! I’d forgotten that one. Yes, an update would be great!

  36. Caledonia*

    I will take any and all updates because I wish that all OP’s in crap situations have managed to get out and now have wonderful new workplaces/co-workers/managers.

  37. aj*

    I’m curious about the letter writer that was offered the overseas job and was moving her family. What has it been like adjusting to living in a different country.

  38. Elsajeni*

    I’d like to hear from:
    – “banning trash cans unless we sign a pledge never to put food in them”
    – “new vendor keeps sending religious quotes on invoices”
    – “my great employee is upset that he’s not getting a bonus for going above and beyond”

    I don’t think there have been updates from any of these folks already.

    2. Melody Pond*

      Oh yeah – definitely want to hear an update on this one. I want to know whether the OP stayed with their employer, or how they handled that meeting with the boss and grand-boss.

    3. Mimmy*

      That one got a huge response – I really hope we get an update on that one soon…one of the more heartbreaking posts this year :(

    1. Mimmy*

      Oh yes, I remember that one! I was just finishing up a class on disability law & policy when this letter was published, and I was so pleased that an employer was so willing to put up the money for this employee. I really hope this one ended positively.

  41. Hibiscus*

    From open comment threads, I want to hear about the one where the female boss was going to rip the boxes for menstrual supplies out of the women’s room stalls.

        2. Murphy*

          I’m starting to feel like I can never complain about my job again after reading some of these. Wow.

    3. Beem*

      Please tell me you have a link. The doctors say I won’t last much longer without a link to this horrific story.

      1. IN ICU*

        Same! I’ve currently been diagnosed with the same grave illness and am on life support. Please think of us!!!?? LINK!!!

  42. Jo*

    The liver donor story
    Today’s horse story
    The person who kept going on about their colleague with a prosthetic limb
    The interns wanting the new dress code
    The manager who wouldn’t let the employee go to their graduation
    Not sure if we’ll get an update from the last 2, I’d understand if we didn’t but would be interesting to hear how things turned out and if they did take anything away from the replies

  43. Critter*

    Alison – I’m curious what it’s like when you’ve got a question where you kind of have to dress the LW down. I’m always kind of embarrassed for them. (Even if they deserve it.)

    This is why I can’t watch reality TV. I feel bad for everyone.

    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I try to be sparing in that, and avoid it if the person shows any self-awareness/remorse. Like the guy who racked up all that debt on his company credit card; that was really awful, but he clearly already felt guilty about it; he didn’t need me rubbing it in. But it’s different with someone who’s totally oblivious to the impact of their actions.

  44. Biff*

    I’m don’t think this was a LW. I think it was a response to one, but I recall one person saying that they had just gotten their dream job at an office that allowed pets, and she was finally able to have a dog. IIRC, she made a bunch of other life changes based on the job. And then they hired someone new who ‘developed’ allergies (there was some question as to whether they were faked or not) and the benefit was taken away. I’d love to hear an update from her, or frankly, any of the people who shared their crazy allergy stories with that poster. There was one lady who said her office was making her purchase and keep an entire wardrobe at the office so she wouldn’t spread dog dander via her clothes.

  45. Runemarks*

    Update on the cancer patient that the boss kept harassing while she was getting chemo and the one that the boss stole a family heirloom from her desk.

  47. Beem*

    In addition to so many others already posted:

    +my work studio is being used as a nursing mothers’ room
    +I dread meetings with a snotty coworker who calls me by the wrong name
    +My coworker refuses to learn how to use a computer or a printer
    +we can be fired if our friends and family don’t follow the company’s religious values
    +my coworker booked all the best vacation days for the year and no one else can have them
    +how to deal with a coworker in a small office who forces loud political rants on me
    +my employees refuse to call their coworker by her real name
    +My coworker keeps telling me he’s praying for me
    +While I was hospitalized, my workplace contacted people I haven’t seen in years

    1. Kwb*

      Could you please share the link to the religious values one? This might be the same as a friend is facing here in the CA, with the only difference being that most people from here are quite religious anyway.

        1. OlympiasEpiriot*

          OH MY YES!! Please pass on an update, OP-who-works-with-a-conservative-higher-education-company.

    2. ThisIsNotWhoYouThinkItIs*

      The vacation days one. Yes!

      Man, there have been a LOT of interesting ones this year….

  48. Mimmy*

    I can never remember specific letters until you guys list the ones you want updates on! There are a few topics mentioned that I do recall to which I’ll add my vote:

    -The one who’s coworker with the prosthetic limb was getting harassed
    -The shell casing one
    -Today’s horse story
    -Employer wanting to sponsor service dog

  49. Cat steals keyboard*

    I’d like an update on the suicide to-do list.

    And the one from the open thread from the person who got in trouble for walking from the bus station with a senior exec and being late, then got in trouble for not walking with him to avoid being late, then was fired after the exec threw a massive public tantrum and was removed from the bus station by police.

    2. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I heard from the coworker who wrote the suicide to-do list! She messaged me and said she saw the post and it was a very old list, and she has a therapist.

      2. A Non*

        Were you able to confirm that it was definitely the same person? I’m so glad that she’s doing better.

      4. OlympiasEpiriot*

        That is excellent news! So glad for her. There’s been a lot of suicide in my mother’s family and I was worried for her and her coworkers.

      6. Michaela T*

        Oh, I’m so glad. Hopefully she got some good resources from your post and the comments if she needs them in the future.

  50. Chaordic One*

    The one from the manager at a neglected branch office. Everyone in the branch was out-of-the-loop, unappreciated and underpaid and then they all resigned in mass. I wonder what the fallout from that one was?

  51. BeautifulVoid*

    I was just thinking of the “you have to work out of town on Election Day” letter today. Ugh, this election is making me (and everyone else) nuts!

    There are so many interesting ones to choose from, but I’d love an update on the stolen heirloom. I’m a sucker for sentimental stuff sometimes….

  52. Sarah G*

    Another vote for the OP whose spicy food “poisoned” a co-worker food thief, the purloined heirloom train, and yes an umpteenth vote for an update from the boss who wouldn’t let her employee take time off for graduation. And I thought of today’s horse story too (so horribly sad!), but I would think OP probably needs a little time to sort things out.

  53. Sarah G*

    Oh yeah, this recent one – “employee is trying to force his way into a job that I don’t want to hire him for”

      1. SheLooksFamiliar*

        I fervently hope I get an opportunity to use the phrase ‘clue-by-four to the head’ tomorrow. Thank you, Biff, and I’ll give you credit.

  55. Other Duties as Assigned*

    I don’t believe there’s been an update on this one from last November—the one titled “My Mother is a Destructive Force in my Professional Life.”

    I often wonder how the LW fared and if she escaped her situation. I have it bookmarked and have returned to read the responses from time to time, hoping for new information.

    Also, reading the responses are a tonic for me, serving as a reminder of what simple human decency looks like. Few things have moved me as much as the outpouring of empathy, good advice, offers of help, and other support the readers of this site offered to a total stranger.

  56. Junior Dev*

    I think there were a few letters involving some sort of “mandatory fun” activity, but the most prominent in my mind involved some sort of secret camping trip–people would have to bring athletic clothes but weren’t told in advance what for, and OP had a disability.

    As someone who has worked for a boundary-challenged startup I could relate to that one.

  57. Merry and Bright*

    Was there an update from the employee whose boss wouldn’t stop talking about her prosthetic limb?

  59. drpuma*

    I don’t remember if it was this year – but what about the OP with the summer intern, where the intern’s boyfriend contacted the OP asking for intern to get time off to go to boyfriend’s family reunion? It seemed to me like the intern didn’t really want to go but couldn’t tell her boyfriend and was trying to get the OP to deny time off or otherwise “force” her to stay and work.

    1. KL*

      Allison most likely has the askamanager dot org domain whitelisted so as long as we’re linking to other posts on this site it’s no issue – I would hope so, anyway!

  61. Muriel Heslop*

    It looks like most of the ones I want to hear from have been mentioned except for the “my boss thinks I faked my panic attack” one. I know OP sent an update that he was looking; I would like to hear if he has a found a new place to work!

  62. Christine*

    I would love to hear about the recent one submitted but the boss wanting the employee’s lunch than telling them that they are greedy for not sharing.

  63. Beem*

    I was just looking at 2016 posts, but I’ve always wondered about “my coworker treats me like his assistant” from 2014.

  64. INTP*

    This one was recent but I’d love to hear from the teenager whose boss wrote her up for having her period/using his non-preferred euphemism for period.

  65. Marche*

    I only just stumbled across “I feel insulted by my raise — and I let my boss know it” from last January, but I think that would be an interesting update!

  66. I GOTS TO KNOW!*

    I would love an update form every one that has been mentioned, but especially the heirloom one, the prosthetic limb one, the chemo one (that I just read – what the what….), and the college investigation one

    But really every letter that has been mentioned and probably some that haven’t

  67. Volunteer Enforcer*

    Definitely the one about the boss forcing liver donation, and the horrendously atrocious HR manager.

  68. Rachel*

    Did anyone mention the one with company that wanted 5-10 references, including at least one from a coworker who didn’t get along with the OP? I would love an update on that one. I especially want to know if the OP took Alison up on her offer to be a reference. : )

  69. Michele*

    Definitely the one on the guy who kept on trying to get the admin software job (saying he got experience through volunteering) and he demanded that OP gave him a shot?

  71. Maxwell Edison*

    I know it’s a bit late, but I want an update from the OP who was mad because an employee didn’t want to participate in the “fun” blog that would give personal information about the participants.

  74. Jo*

    This wasn’t a recent one, it was from last year, but would be interesting to hear if there’s any update to the story of the manager who wanted to buy underwear for her employees and approve it first

  75. Dot Warner*

    A bit late but I thought of another one: the letter writer who knew that two of her colleagues were having an affair and one was interviewing to be the other’s supervisor.

  78. CognitiveManager*

    I want an update from the person whose boss was trying to force their nephew to stay at the employee’s house

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