update: my coworker responds to everything I ask him to do with profanity and “your mom” jokes

by Alison Green on December 21, 2017

Remember the letter from the person whose coworker responded to everything she asked him to do with profanity, name-calling, flat refusals, and and “your mom” jokes? She updated earlier here and here and here, and here’s the latest.

The good news: RudeClerk still works here, but we basically never see each other ever. The upstairs (where he is) and downstairs (where I am) parts of our building are like two different worlds sometimes. We only ever cross paths if I go up there to deliver a report and he just so happens to be in the hallway, if I’m covering the front desk, or in the once-a-month staff meeting, maybe. Actually, I think he saw me hanging out in my car during my lunch break, because he was parked next to me and headed out to do the same thing? I rolled my windows up and rolled over to take a nap so we didn’t talk. ;) When we do see each other, we don’t usually have time to say more than “eyyyy” or “what’s good?” before we pass by. On the occasion that we do have time to chat, it’s brief, friendly, and not wildly inappropriate. He seems like he’s doing well, so I’m glad for him. So *that* saga is officially done and overwith, at least!

It took us until August to find a replacement for RudeClerk, though. That was kind of a nightmare because I wound up doing his job and mine (plus a bunch of other stuff). But now we have NewClerk and she’s wonderful! She’s about my age also, but not as, uh, horrible. Boss has given me the green light to act as a supervisor to her, kind of like how I thought I was with RudeClerk in the first place. I trained her and delegate her work and pretty much supervise everything she does outside of her timesheet. She has previous experience doing this stuff, too, so she’s been able to jump right in and take a huge load off my shoulders, so that’s great.

I’ve really worked hard to keep my communication professional with her. I’ve worked on that with all my coworkers, actually. No social media, friendly but work-appropriate dialogue, etc. It’s gone over pretty well! NewClerk was just saying the other day that she thinks of me as more of a boss than Boss, and that she likes working with me because I’m “chill but know what I’m talking about.” So… that’s good feedback, I think? It’s definitely been easier to maintain my work relationships because I’m not caught up in drama or encased in my personal feelings when trying to deliver feedback, so I can be more assertive and effective. Good stuff!

The wtf news: Uh… where do I start without getting long-winded? They created a new supervisory position for the reports folks, which bummed me way out because I wanted that job! You’ll remember Boss tempted me with a possible raise/title bump in my last update — that new position would have basically been what she was getting at. So, yeah, that didn’t happen. I’ve been on many interviews over the summer, but none have really been what I’m looking for. I’ve had to remind myself not to jump at the first thing that isn’t this place, to wait until I find the right thing. But then, just a few days ago, my new supervisor got fired and nobody (except them what did the firin’, I suppose) knows why. It was really shocking! She’d only been in the position for a month, after working here three years or so. So crazy. But I’m feeling a little bit hopeful that I might have a shot at that job now that she’s gone, based on some conversations I’ve had in the aftermath. The trouble is deciding whether I want it after all this. I figure, while I’m here, I may as well take any opportunities I can get until it’s time to go. More money is more money?

It’s been a crazy year, probably the most stressful I’ve ever had. But I know I wouldn’t be where I’m at now, balancing on the precipice of either a promotion or a new job, without the help of your blog and readers, so I’m grateful for that. It’s not the “thrilling conclusion” I thought it’d be when I wrote in last, but something good is coming for me soon, so I’m keeping my chin up.

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{ 111 comments }

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  1. Lil Fidget*

    My advice to OP is definitely to do both. Apply and advocate for yourself to get this new position AND aggressively apply to new things so you’re not pinning all your hopes on something that may or may not happen. Remember that they passed you over in the first place, and keep your eyes open for something better.

    1. Specialk9*

      I’m beyond be appalled. This guy called you a bitch, c*nt, feminazi, fat f*ck, ugly, heaped horrible abuse on your head, refused to do work you gave him, and your boss allowed it (encouraged it by her silence) and HR allowed it (‘do you think his behavior is because of X’ instead of ‘I will put his death yawning skull on a pike of our battlements to warn others’).

      It’s… Beyond appalling. This is NOT NORMAL and you need to get out. Even if things seem better, you are bathing in sewage.

      2. Hey Nonnie*

        +1. I am so depressed that this guy was allowed to create a hostile work environment that was sexist AF and the consequence to him was… a promotion to a job he likes better THAT IS PUBLIC FACING AND ALLOWS HIM TO INTERACT WITH PATIENTS.

        There is not enough WTF in the WORLD for this place.

        Take advantage of as much as you can get from this place while you’re here, but do not stay one second longer than you have to.

    2. designbot*

      Clicked through to say just this. Also when you develop the opportunities at your current job, you’ll gain options, confidence, and feel stronger going forward. Those interviews will become take it or leave it for you, and the confidence you exude because you know you have options will be much more attractive to other potential employers as well.

  2. Addison (OP)*

    I actually have an update to this update! NewClerk got fired last week. The timing couldn’t possibly be worse, because I’m out on vacation all next week and our receptionist also moved on to greener pastures, but it was unfortunately warranted. She had performance issues that multiple discussions both with me and NotBossAnymore couldn’t seem to resolve — too much phone use, always late, not prioritizing her work. I didn’t really think it warranted a *firing*, personally, but she was only temp and apparently HR said just cut her loose instead of having yet another talk. So… ok!

    I’m currently doing three jobs — mine, front desk, and medical records. We’re hiring someone for the empty spots soon, I hope. I just had my annual review with NotBossAnymore (since she was my boss up until NewBoss came and went — now I… kinda don’t have a boss? Idk?) and it went really well. She can see the change in me and plans to push aggressively to get me better pay and also my foot in the door for that supervisory position. I plan on pushing aggressively myself, but her backup can only help me in this case, as she has a lot of pull here. Here’s hoping things turn out well!

      1. Addison (OP)*

        Yeah, unfortunately it’s pretty normal. People come and go all the time, and even when they don’t, everybody here “wears a lot of hats”. Someone was saying in a quality assurance meeting for staff the other day that it takes a certain kind of workaholic/masochist to work here and I’m pretty sure that’s accurate. It’s definitely a Place For Doing Many Things A Lot.

        1. Dawn*

          Those are some Huge Waving Red Flags The Size Of Houses for your workplace. “People come and go all the time”- that is NOT NORMAL. 2015 average voluntary turnover across all industries was around 11.5%, so if you’re seeing enough turnover to say “people come and go all the time”, that’s way way wayyyyyy off base!

          GET OUT SOON!!!! I’m rooting for ya OP!

        2. Bea*

          No. No. No. I’m a workaholic and have killed myself for employers who in turn still have my back years after I’ve moved on. These people are disgusting cowards who abuse each other and look the other way.

          They will fire you one day. I am shaking knowing that you’re in this setup that I’ve seen first hand. You are a hard worker and dedicated. You can find an employer who respects you

      2. MsSolo*

        Oh jeez,that’s like a tick list for this situation.
        Keep the crises rolling. Constant staff turnover.
        Things will be better when… they finally promote OP.
        Keep real rewards distant. Dangle the promise of promotion over OP’s head.
        Establish one small semi-occasional success. RudeCoworker moves to another department.
        Chop up their time. Do three jobs at once!
        Enmesh your success with theirs. But remember, it’s all about the patients. Your failure will hurt them.
        Keep everything on the edge. Fire NewCoworker so that OP has to keep struggling on.

        OP’s line further down about the feeling of accomplishment is just heartbreaking, because that’s part of the sick system. OP is rewarding herself for surviving, but that reward is part of the trap keeping her there.

    3. CatCat*

      Too bad NewClerk didn’t work out. Seems like there are a lot of issues at this workplace with all that we’ve seen going on! I agree with Lil Fidget’s strategy, above.

      I hope you’ll keep updating us.

      1. LSP*

        OP said the receptionist was fired, not NewClerk, and I may be wrong, but I don’t think that’s the same person.

    4. Detective Amy Santiago*

      Oh man! At least you seem to have a good attitude about it. I hope things work out for you.

    5. Delphine*

      I cannot believe that the new clerk was fired and the rude clerk–after his continued sexual harassment–simply got to transfer to a different position. I honestly gobsmacked.

    6. Kiki*

      I’m boggled that NewClerk got fired for troublesome-but-improvable performance issues but that OldClerk still has a job there. I really hope you find a newer job that suits you soon, OP. Good luck.

      2. santa baby*

        that’s really the kicker for me . . . OP’s job just sounds horrible to me, improvements or no

    7. Snark*

      “I actually have an update to this update! NewClerk got fired last week.”

      Will the orphan and puppies recover? Because I assume he had to do something real bad to one or both of those to actually get let go.

      1. Addison (OP)*

        No, sadly, this is NewClerk, the replacement for Rude Butthead. He *would* have to do something pretty impressive to be let go at this point, though, I think. He’s actually really well-liked up here.

        1. Pollygrammer*

          I wouldn’t say “it’s always the charming ones.” But sadly it is really frequently the charming ones.

      1. Addison (OP)*

        NotBoss has worked here for… 15? years? So I don’t know if she, uh, knows *how* to find work elsewhere. @_@

    9. Specialk9*

      Wait so phone use gets a woman fired but a pattern of vicious abusive misogyny doesn’t?!

      I’m guessing you don’t know anymore how rotten this is.

      It’s like those decay farms where dead bodies (donated to science) are left in a field to teach various forensic and science students lessons about human decay. That’s where you work, OP. Right next to the 3 month corpse.

          1. Paquita*

            Ooh! I just got this from the library! I have a fear bordering on phobia of bodies, but I love to read this kind of stuff. Weird?

            1. Specialk9*

              The book actually made me more inclined to donate my body to science. The number of ways they’re used for training is startling and kind of incredible.

              1. Middle School Teacher*

                That book was so good! I kind of want to have my body turned into tree food, like they do in Sweden.

        2. anon24*

          The body farm is real! It’s at a university somewhere in the US. I don’t remember which one, it’s been over 10 years since I studied forensics in high school

          1. JanetM*

            The Forensic Anthropology Center at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville: https://fac.utk.edu/ . (This was featured in Patricia Cornwell’s book _The Body Farm_, which I enjoyed except for one glaring error. The author had Kay Scarpetta driving into Knoxville on a Football Saturday, finding parking downtown, walking into a downtown hotel, and getting a room without a reservation. No way.)

            According to a 2010 article in _The Atlantic_, there are five body farms in the USA: UTK; Western Carolina University in Cullowhee, NC; Texas State University in San Marcos, TX; Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, TX; and one that was just being constructed in 2010 at California University of Pennsylvania in southwestern PA. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/12/down-on-the-body-farm-inside-the-dirty-world-of-forensic-science/67241/

            1. Anna*

              Interesting they’re all east coast. The UTK is the most famous one, I think, and the whole thing is FASCINATING!

              1. Cercis*

                2 are in Texas, not exactly East Coast …

                I’ve been telling my family for years that I want them to donate whatever organs and other body parts they can and then donate the rest of me to a body farm (assuming they’ll take someone without organs). They get creeped out by it, but I find it fascinating and don’t see why it’s any more creepy than burning someone in a fire (cremation) or letting them rot underground.

        4. Violet Rose*

          It’s also come up on Forensic Files a few times, because, as you could imagine, a *ton* of research comes out of there. I’m surprised it hasn’t featured on an episode of Bones to be honest.

          Anyway, I’m glad Specialk9 framed it in that way, because I had just skimmed the update’s update and completely missed why clerk was fired. That’s… yeah, “rotten” is a good description of that kind of workplace culture.

      2. Not Mad Just Disappointed Scientist*

        De-lurking just to pop in – I’m a master’s student at one of those universities, and I personally love it. FWIW, the week-old corpses are much worse than the 3-month ones. ;) (Now just trying so so hard to find a job, but I’m either under-qualified or over-qualified for everything. :/ But since following Allison’s blog, I’ve started getting interviews! Still no offers though.)

    10. Bea*

      I just escaped a office where I did 3 jobs and was treated like garbage but none of the abuse you took from the original Clerk From Hell. You need to invest in getting out. I know you’re trying but truly do not try to cherry pick, I took a leap and haven’t been happier. You’re going to find yourself deeper and deeper into that pit.

      You’re younger and have more stamina than my old ass but it’s so nice to be in a peaceful work place and not going home exhausted. And for what? Fuck that place.

    11. MsSolo*

      Just remember, NotBossAnymore is not a good manager. She encouraged you to take on her work supervising RudeCoworker so she wouldn’t have to, failed to advocate for you to get a bump in pay or title to evidence the extra work you were doing, failed to back you up against him, then got you to supervise the new hire so she wouldn’t have to as well. She keeps promising you the earth while delivering mud. Yes, you absolutely deserve that supervisor position, and you have the experience to do a great job at it, but do not count on her backup to help you get it. Sure, she’s been there a long time, and she’s got pull, but she doesn’t want you to have another job when you’ve already proved you can do so much of hers for her on top of your own and your coworkers.

      Honestly honestly, try and get out of this organisation. They don’t value you the way your deserve. Your colleagues who keep leaving know this. You’d be amazed what the world looks like in a functional organisation, where misogynists get punished, supervisors get paid accordingly, and you only have to do the job you were hired for.

    12. CaribouInIgloo*

      OP, your company has huge problems with ethics. Nepotism, turning a blind eye towards harassment and manipulating their employees to stay by false promises, just to name a few.
      I hope you can find another job very soon. Your company is skewing your perception of normalcy. The longer you’re there, the harder it is for you the get out.

  3. Myrin*

    Can I just say that I love that you’re continuously providing updates for us? I feel like I’m watching a very exquisite TV series and I’m liking it.

    1. Addison (OP)*

      I’m glad! The last couple times, I felt weird sending in updates because I wasn’t sure if I was just going super overboard with the Addison’s Modern Life saga.

      1. No Parking or Waiting*

        Oh, no. Update early and often.
        Because you work for loons and that’s good readin’ right there.

      2. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock*

        I love the updates, although I’m still convinced your employer is insane. But I appreciate that you come back and keep us posted! If it were not your life, it would be an amazing tv miniseries.

      3. Pollygrammer*

        I really enjoy your updates, both the content and your writing style! “Them what did the firin’” really made me laugh. Fictionalize this and I think you could be the workplace version of “Cat Person,” honestly.

  4. Irishgal*

    OP I don’t understand why you are being polite and engaging in polite chat with Rudeclerk. He was obnoxious to you and doesn’t deserve polite. If you have to engage on a work context be professional but otherwise treat him like he doesn’t exist; to do otherwise means you are still accepting how he treated you.

    1. Weekday Warrior*

      I don’t agree with this take. It never hurts to take the higher road. That is the power position.

    2. JessaB*

      because a: O is the better person and b: if you want to become a supervisor and OP does, you need to BE the better person and model good behaviour for the other staff.

    3. Antilles*

      She’s being polite and engaging in polite chat with Rudeclerk because unfortunately that’s probably the practical realities of the situation.
      If the guy works in the building, she’s going to encounter him every now and then. And if that happens in earshot/visibility/whatever of other people, OP needs to act polite and fine, otherwise people who aren’t aware of the history (most of the company, probably) would think *OP* was being weird/jerky by not saying hello in the hallways or ignoring simple hows-the-weather chitchat questions or etc.

    4. Alpha*

      I agree. I’m irrationally annoyed that he was able to speak to her in such a nasty, vulgar, disgusting way and was not even punished for it. He consistently acts that way because he was never reprimanded for his actions, therefore he thinks he is untouchable. He’s probably harassing someone in his new department as we speak. OP is much nicer than me, I woudn’t tolerate him, even in the slightest.

      1. Pollygrammer*

        If other people are witness to his vileness (as in, telling her ~in a meeting~ that “nobody can’t f***ing stand you”) then others are definitely, definitely victims as well.

        1. Specialk9*

          I think she was alone with him for that meeting.

          But, I mean, management and HR know he called her a bitch and c*nt and refuses to do work… OP has a log of what he said. I’m not sure anything could trigger them to act.

          Please Addison, please sue them. For all women everywhere.

  5. Mary Ellen*

    I just cannot get my head around the fact that Rude Clerk didn’t get fired for his behavior. It was abusive and sexist, and instead of getting fired, he gets moved into the job he wanted? That’s just… ugh.

    1. Addison (OP)*

      Nepotism is alive and well! But at least he’s a lot less of a massive butthead now that he’s doing something he doesn’t hate doing. Not that it excuses his behavior before, and it’s hardly fair that he was rewarded with something less crappy for being crappy, but you know.

      1. Aurion*

        I admire your positive attitude throughout this madness, because I sure as hell can’t do it. (Just rereading your old updates skyrockets my blood pressure. If I had been in your shoes I probably would’ve spontaneously combusted from the “men are talking” remark alone.)

        I’m glad things are going better for you, and best of luck on the interviews.

      2. AKchic*

        Do you think Mommy actually knows exactly what darling baby boy is doing on the clock? A lot of times, older family members don’t know what their younger ones are doing, and that protects them from getting canned. People tiptoe around the problems, thinking they’ll get in trouble, or the younger one is somehow protected because of the older relative in a higher role within the company, but in actuality, if the older relative knew, they’d be mortified and would fire the younger one themselves.
        Not always, but it does happen. I’ve worked for a few family-run businesses and they were always dysfunctional (like the families that ran them); but the bigger companies with a few family members that worked together, the younger one that screwed up was never protected.

        I currently work with my mother. You can’t tell unless you look at us side by side that we’re related. We don’t even mention it. We both happen to have the right skills for the jobs that we were hired for.

        1. Addison (OP)*

          They don’t (and haven’t) work together directly, so it’s pretty plausible that she has no idea. I’m definitely positive she had no idea about what was going on when he was harassing me, that’s for sure. He lives on her property in a separate guest house and apparently they don’t talk much in general, let alone about work, which I believe, too. So yeah, I’m sure she doesn’t know.

          On the other hand, I don’t think she’d be appalled and clamoring for him to be punished or anything. She’s a very laid back person, to the point where I sometimes want to poke her with a stick to make sure she’s still breathing. She handles behavioral, violent, verbally nasty patients all day too (she has the most behavioral caseload of them all) so I doubt anything RudeClerk said to me would make her flinch.

          1. AKchic*

            That really sucks. I almost want to say that when you reeled back your camaraderie and became more professional, you may have reminded him of his mother and it made him mad, but that sounds way too Freudian for my liking, but…
            He really seems to be stuck in a state of semi-adolescence. “Your mom” jokes, teenage defiance towards authority, pick and choose who he’ll listen to, still (technically) living at home… it all paints a vivid picture for me. I’m not diagnosing (I’m not qualified). I’m armchair painting.

            1. Specialk9*

              Not Freudian enough. Given the gendered nature of his insults, and how hard he attacked OP’s desirability to him/all men as a proxy for worth as a human, I’m guessing he wouldn’t be able to handle any woman in a position of authority.

              He’s such a raging poop-eater. (I need better non swearing insults.)

          2. Becca*

            You know her better than I, obviously, but I wouldn’t confuse “laid back and required to act professionally toward rude patients all day” with “will accept rude behavior from her loved ones.”

            But what you describe sounds less laid back and more apathetic, so the question becomes what is required to break her apathy. (Wouldn’t be shock factor, necessarily. I can care quite a bit about things that don’t shock me.)

            1. Anna*

              Yeah. Just because she’s chill and has heard some bad things from patients doesn’t mean she can’t recognize behavior that crosses the line. She might know pretty well what it looks like, in fact. I’d guess there’s a really good reason they don’t talk much.

          3. Bea*

            Oh. He’s probably abusive to her as well but she still is the mom who rolls with it. I know these kids who don’t speak to their parents but live on their property and tied to the family funds.

      3. Pollygrammer*

        I have so much respect for you. I would probably have been fired for punching the guy long ago.

        1. Addison (OP)*

          I was actually kind of shocked how much I identified with the OP of the “bit my coworker” post — the update really made me realize how close I was to taking a chunk out of the guy back when this was going on, myself. Sometimes I count myself lucky he went Away From Me before anyone saw blood.

      4. PersephoneUnderground*

        Well- to be fair, you don’t know he’s changed. He’s not being awful TO YOU any more (caps=emphasis, not shouting) because he’s not working with you. But he could very well be harassing and being completely awful to the women in his new department. Even worse if his move means he supervises anyone. This whole thing is so messed up, I really wish there were something that could be done. My only thought is filing an EEOC claim or suing the company after you leave for doing nothing about this jerk. You’ll likely see more people come out of the woodwork who he’s harassed once you speak up publicly.

        Or maybe tell his “mommy” exactly what he said to you and how he treated you after you leave, once you no longer have to worry about her having the authority to get you fired. If it’s her retaliation everyone was worried about it seems logical to just explode that ordnance on the way out the door- “Oh, by the way, your son did all this and no one fired him because they assumed you’d side with him. I hope they were wrong, and thought you should know what went on.” Something like that.

        1. Specialk9*

          I would be shocked if he were not. Looking at the past situation as a training exercise, he was allowed, encouraged, and then rewarded for vicious mysoginistic anti-professional not-working. Why on earth would he have learned that was not desirable behavior, since it paid off so well for him?

          1. PersephoneUnderground*

            Yeah, that’s why I’m so worried about it. There have also been plenty of studies that back up that sexual harassers very often are habitual- if someone has a pattern like this with one person, he/she will repeat it with others in the future and probably has done it before. (Related but inflammatory/sad thing- apparently the average rapist attacks 7 people before being stopped. This is from a study using an anonymous questionnaire where the answers were self-reported. The questions didn’t use the word “rape”, just described one e.g. “forced someone to have sex with you”. I am not implying by this that co-worker is a rapist, just seems parallel in terms of behavioral patterns around sex and power and (dis)respect for others.)

            I don’t know what recourse there is, but somehow this guy’s future targets need to be protected if at all possible. What if the next person he bullies is an 18-year-old receptionist who can’t handle it like you could? I’ve been the 18-year-old dealing with harassment at work, it’s hell. OP – please, talk to a lawyer or advocacy group and find out if there’s anything you can do. Tell the world once you leave. Please. I know “all” he did was insult and demean you verbally, but (1) that’s bad enough and (2) if that didn’t hurt him he is likely to escalate his bad behavior over time, you don’t know where it could end. This has to be taken seriously NOW before it ends up in something even worse.

  6. Mary Ellen*

    AND I just saw the update where New Clerk got fired, but Rude Clerk still has a job! That’s awful!

    1. Brittasaurus Rex*

      It’s truly appalling. He should have been fired long ago. That workplace must be like the kids’ room in Poltergeist.

  7. lost academic*

    Unrelated, but today every post and even the main page are redirecting to an ad/scam that is very large and has a very loud volume that overrides even muted volume settings. What’s going on with the ads today? They’re always pretty rough and crash Chrome but this is kinda over the top.

  8. Trisha*

    Op, Money isn’t money if it takes your soul to earn it. If you are offered the supervisor position, please give the entire thing due consideration before accepting. Your workplace sounds…..less than ideal. Be careful about heading up the ladder, especially since the last supervisor was fired and you have no indication as to why (and after such a short period of time)…warning bells are ringing).

      1. Becca*

        Depends on what they’re saying. To me they’re saying that if an employee of several years was fired after only a month in the position perhaps they’ve created unreasonable expectations around it and the same will happen to OP if she takes it.

      2. MsSolo*

        Honestly, I don’t think OP will get the promotion. NotBossAnymore has a lot of pull, and likes OP doing all her supervisory work for her, as well as OP’s own work, and now coworker’s work as well. If she truly supported OP’s desire to move up the ladder, the first thing she’d have done was try and negotiate some level of recognition for the work OP was doing managing RudeCoworker (even just an honorary title or change to the job description). If OP does get it, I wouldn’t count on her current role getting filled; she’ll just be expected to do that too.

  9. Observer*

    OP, I’m going to echo the others that say take the promotion and keep aggressively searching.

    There are a LOT of things wrong with your company. And, you don’t have to feel like you need to stick around extra just because of the promotion – they didn’t seem to hesitate about laying someone off after a month, and they fired someone despite knowing the you were already short staffed.

    All you owe them is standard notice when you find a job.

  10. Lynne879*

    I haven’t read all the updates (but I remember reading the original post) but ugggggggggggggggggggh OP why are you still working there?

    1. Addison (OP)*

      Mostly because my home life situation has become more intolerable than my work one ever was by the longest shot imaginable and I need money so I can get out. Hence the aggressively trying to get paid more/promoted/finding something that pays more even if it sucks. I’m stuck where I’m at until I pay off debts and save up, so I’m not about to do anyyything to mess up my income.

      And also because I’m a little bit of a lunatic probably. The fact that I’m not foaming at the mouth and walking on the ceiling after working here day after day makes me feel accomplished(???).

      3. Bea*

        Oh my good lord. So you’re getting it from all sides.

        I truly hope and pray for you to get away from every horrible evil that’s hurting you right now. You are worth so much more than all this that’s going on in your life.

    1. The Supreme Troll*

      She definitely has; Addison has taken the high road all along, and I hope that the good fortune that she deserves finds her in 2018.

  12. I Coulda Been a Lawyer ;)*

    OP take the supervisor position if you can get it but keep looking for ways to get out. I managed to get promoted to supervisor in a highly disfunctional office, and 1 year later was able to lateral to a much more sane bureau with only potential supervisory duties if staff increases. They wouldn’t have taken me if it had been a 2 pay grade promotion- I probably wouldn’t have qualified to even apply.

  13. Anlina*

    OP, thank you so much for your updates. I’ve been having all the feelings watching your story develop.

    I find myself wanting to see a good Hollywood ending to this, where you get a new job and then burn down your current workplace, and in slow motion, walking away cool and collected with the ever expansion fireball in the background.

    Because your workplace sucks that much.

  14. Lady Phoenix*

    u would get out. I think that you wuill not get the premotion and there is a high chance you’ll be fired anyways.

    This company knows it can throw all these different duties at you with needing to raise your pay or title. Meanwhile, they bend over backwards for another Whinestein. I bet cha they will fire you the moment it looks like you are threatening his job.

    And I wouldn’t put your hopes on fired boss. She is pretty much the company: adding reaponsibilities, broken promises, a blind eye to sexual harassment.

  15. Candi*

    LW, you know that fable of the frog who is placed in cool water, and then the pot is slowly heated? The frog adjusts to the temperature as it rises, and eventually cooks.

    You’re the frog.

    Please read this link. I reread your letters, and your situation sounds frighteningly like the points outlined.

    https://issendai.livejournal.com/572510.html

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