Ask a Manager

It’s your Friday good news!

1.  “After many years freelancing part-time while being a full-time parent I decided to return to the workforce. Job-hunting is stressful and full of disappointment. I’ve been ghosted more times than I can count and I stopped counting how many jobs I applied to a long time ago. To say I am discouraged and suffering from ‘job-related low self-esteem’ is an understatement.

So when I got an email from a recruiter about a seemingly-perfect job I was over the moon. I bought your guide on how to get a job and poured over the interview tips. Alison, I went into that first interview more prepared than I have ever been for anything in my life. I absolutely nailed it. I was immediately invited back for a second interview, and then a third.

But thanks to all my prep work, I wasn’t nervous, and I wasn’t thinking about how to make them like me more. I was able to also focus on whether I liked them. And the more I talked to them, the more I got the sense that all was not right in job-land. When I did a team interview, the tension was palpable. They were evasive when I asked what happened to the previous person in my role. In an interview with my would-be manager I felt empowered to interview her right back and asked all kinds of questions about her management style. When I asked her if she had ever received any feedback about her management style that really resonated with her, her face visibly darkened. All in all, I left each interview with a feeling of dread instead of enthusiasm.

They offered me the job and I asked for the weekend to think it over. In the past I would have shoved all those doubts aside and jumped at the job, and somehow convinced myself it would all be ok. On Monday I called them back and said I did not think the role was going to work for me and thanked them for my time.

Thank goodness I trusted my gut! I found out later through a professional contact that my would-be manager is notorious for burning through staff at an alarming rate. She turns hot and cold on a dime and goes from ‘you are the best employee I have ever had’ to firing you in under a week. Apparently ex-employees of hers found each other on LinkedIn and formed a small support group. Especially after reading so many horror stories of bad employers and toxic workplaces, I decided that my mental health is not worth a paycheck.

So, I am still unemployed with no real leads on the horizon but I feel really empowered now. I took control of my career instead of jumping on the first offer that came along. And I know I can really kill it in an interview. Hopefully someday soon, a mentally stable hiring manager will call me and I can wow that person too.”

Update from yesterday: “I have an update to my good news! I just (an hour ago) accepted a great new position! I am so glad I held out for something better. The job pays 25% more than the one I turned down and the team I am joining is a really great group of people that I am legitimately excited to work with.”

2.  “Loooong-time reader and credit your site for helping me grow as both an employee and manager. Years of reading your salary negotiation posts as well as how to frame things effectively paid off for me about a year ago. I was offered a transfer to our European office. I understood it as a lateral move so I assumed the salary would be whatever the going exchange rate was of my US salary. Instead I was offered the equivalent of a 5% pay cut (7% when factoring in cost of living increases). The HR person acted surprised when I pushed back and said, ‘It’s a good living.’ When I was newer in my career I would have just accepted it (I’m fulfilling a dream and moving to Europe after all!). However, I instead laid out all the figures of how much of a difference it would make and escalated it. I was told HR made a mistake and I was actually getting the equivalent of a 10% raise! Which really hammered home the importance of questioning things and knowing my worth. I have been in Europe for just over a year now and it is everything I dreamed.”

3.  “I have never written in before but read your column all the time. I was previously working at an extremely toxic company which was compounded during Covid. Since this is a good news post I will spare you the details, but the final straw for me was when I was told at a year end review that I had not been promoted the previous year because I was on parental leave, and that I would not be promoted that year because I was pregnant. I was terrified to be job searching during a pandemic while pregnant, but I read your all of your guidance (particularly about interviewing while pregnant!) and landed an amazing, fully remote role at a company that I’m actually excited to work for. The 25% pay increase and amazing benefits helped too. I enjoyed more paid time off when my daughter was born than I’d had at any previous job as well, and with the way things ended up working out I had only worked there for six weeks before she unexpectedly made her appearance a few weeks early.

I’m nearly two years into my new job and while this place has its issues like any other, the change in my mental health is profound. I no longer spend Sunday night laying awake dreading going to work the next day, I have more flexibility to be with my family, and I work with really awesome people who are supportive and care about my professional development. Without the help of your site I would have stayed at toxic job at least until my daughter was born, and I would have completely missed this opportunity. So thanks for all of the help you provide, you’re out here changing lives!”

4.  “I was working in an industry that was drastically affected by the pandemic; it basically relied on people going places. I returned to work from my first maternity leave in January of 2020 and had been trying to secure a new role during my maternity leave and had no such luck. I had been invited for an interview at the beginning of March and had made it past the first round but the position was cancelled. I kept working but my position was basically eliminated as no one could go anywhere. Luckily my company had other ventures so I transferred departments. My original position paid salary plus commission, so with no commission coming in my income dropped 12K. We managed but it was hard.

I was determined to get out, and found out I was pregnant again. I’m in Canada so I was able to take an extended maternity leave for 18 months, which I hoped would enable the world to get somewhat back to normal and I could go back to what I was originally doing, just maybe with a different company. At the end of my leave in 2022, I was randomly scrolling indeed and came across a position that matched my experience perfectly in a totally new and different industry, so I thought I would give it a shot. I reworked my cover letter and resume using your advice and was invited for an interview. I had been sent interview questions, which I made my husband and my best friend ask me. I practiced in the shower and out loud in the car — I think my 3-year-old thought I had a screw loose.

I nailed the interview and when I got the offer letter, I cried because I more than doubled my previous salary, didn’t have to work weekends, and our office is closed for the holidays at Christmas. I have been in my new role for 3 months and honestly it’s a dream. I’m pretty much fully remote but sometimes need to be able to come into the office, my team is amazing and I hit the jackpot with my new boss. She’s everything I wish my 20-year-old self had in a boss. I didn’t realize how underpaid and how much my previous boss had been holding me back with her weird micromanaging.”

5.  “I’m so happy to finally join the good news club!

At the end of the summer I was abruptly let go from my job when they decided they wanted our department full-time in-office only, with no exceptions whatsoever (despite the fact I had been working remotely for many years prior to the pandemic). No, this definitely was not actually necessary for what we did. I could have written in with dozens of questions and anecdotes from my bonkers time there, and I can’t deny that I was ready to leave, but the way it ended still hurt a lot.

While I’ve been a long time AAM reader, I dove deep into the archives during my unemployment to do everything from update my resume, write fresh cover letters, and even find book recommendations to help fill my free time (Hench? Incredible. I still can’t stop telling people to read it.)

Today I signed the offer letter to accept my first management position! I never would have made it through the 5-round interview process without all the advice I’ve held onto over the years, most especially the tip to not read too much into anything! After each round I was able to just take a deep breath, say ‘whatever happens happens’ and not dwell. I kept my expectations in check and just laughed and shared the couple of odd things with friends instead of freaking myself out about them being secret red flags about the company.

I’m so excited for my fresh start. Now I’m off to comb the archives again to figure out how to re-acclimate to working in an office again after being at home for 7 years! (At least the new position is hybrid, so my cats won’t miss me too much!)”