update: HR won’t do anything about a coworker who’s angry about my weight loss by Alison Green on June 12, 2023 It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back– there’s more to come today! Remember the letter-writer whose HR wouldn’t do anything about a coworker who was angry about her post-surgery weight loss? Here’s the update. (First update here.) I got an offer from a local company that’s going fully remote with administration and management meeting up once a month. The salary was right, it’s 90% remote, it’s a good fit, so I’m happy with it. My role is HR adjacent as head of payroll. I report to the COO and was hired by the CEO and COO. I walk in to our first admin meeting and who is sitting across from me but the HR Director who told me medical documentation doesn’t matter and orchestrated my red-flag meeting, let’s call him “Bob.” Bob is the interim HR director for this company. Bob looked very uncomfortable when he saw me. We went through some employee files, including several who are on maternity leave and two who were injured on a job site. Bob got quieter as we began reviewing medical documentation and approving paid leave. I smiled and looked him in the eye every time I asked, “And does Jill have her medical documentation? Great! Medical documentation holds a lot of weight. That’s important stuff to have.” He looked like he wanted to melt into his seat. At one point he tried to argue against someone using their PTO to provide end of life care for a parent when they had ample PTO. I smiled and said, “You’re right, our employee support fund should cover half this time. It’s a shame for them to have to lose all their PTO when they’re obviously going to need it to heal and grieve over the next few months. Why don’t you get me the paperwork for the support fund this afternoon? That’s so generous.” Everyone was happy and in agreement. He looked like he swallowed a lemon but everyone was like “OMG Bob how thoughtful.” He had to eat it so bad and got me the documentation an hour later. Bob can suck it. Bob is also only a contractor so he’ll be moving on soon anyway. Medically I’m doing better, and very happy to move on from where I was. Aubrey’s been full-on radio silence which is perfect for me. Thanks AAM team and commenters! You may also like:most popular posts of 2023HR won't do anything about a coworker who's angry about my weight lossvote for the worst boss of 2023: the finals { 236 comments }
Artemesia* June 12, 2023 at 3:00 pm Just an unbelievable story — jaw drops every time I read it. HR doesn’t always attract the brightest bulbs but yowza, this place really hit the jackpot on useless. If I were you, OP, I would talk to the right people about whether they planned to make that contract position a permanent one and give them a short version of what happened 1. what they did 2. that they were ultimately dismissed for it. and not your concern about hiring Bob for the role.
Where’s the Orchestra?* June 12, 2023 at 3:21 pm Agreed – and being HR Adjacent at this job – you need to be able to trust and feel safe working one on one with – and at least for me that could never be “Bob.”
Rachel* June 12, 2023 at 3:32 pm The twists and turns in this story are amazing!!! I could not have dreamed up a better ending!!!
Barb* June 12, 2023 at 3:47 pm Same here!! There have been so many, many bananapants stories here on AAM, but this story is in the top 1%. The ending, however is possibly the MOST satisfying and happy one I’ve ever read!! Huge, huge congrats for the OP for coming out on top with this one. And Bob looking like he “swallowed a lemon” while everyone else was praising him for being “so thoughtful” – well, that just made my day <3
Mad Harry Crewe* June 12, 2023 at 5:18 pm Agreed – fill whoever is in charge of Bob in with an abridged version of what went down.
cleo* June 12, 2023 at 3:04 pm Right?! I’m grinning from ear to ear. LW, you are a hero for sticking it to Bob so sweetly.
Elle* June 12, 2023 at 3:22 pm Came here to say exactly this. So incredibly satisfying. I hate how this started for OP but I love how it’s ended. If only skipping the whole nightmare had been an option :-(
goddessoftransitory* June 12, 2023 at 3:40 pm This was like a warm bath while having my shoulders massaged by Chris Hemsworth while he tells me funny stories!
Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.* June 12, 2023 at 4:56 pm Tell me what chocolate you’re eating and what candles are burning too. *sighs in contentment*
goddessoftransitory* June 12, 2023 at 5:16 pm Hmmm, a nice lemon verbena candle? For that fresh note. And let’s see–nothing too messy; maybe frozen peach slices with a lovely honey based dip, or strawberries… and a huge vat of sangria.
JSPA* June 12, 2023 at 5:42 pm except it made him look a) competent and b) humane, when we know he’s neither.
The Shenanigans* June 13, 2023 at 12:07 pm Nah. It’s clear that it was her idea. I wonder if some of that OTT gushing over Bob is really about putting him on notice. It definitely is for the OP, and frankly, this is an incredibly effective way to neutralize an enemy. We all know he’s not gonna live up to this, but now he’s got a lot to lose if he doesn’t. His only option is to keep his head down, work out his contract, and quietly leave. And, hey, he might actually learn something from this.
I’m screaming inside too* June 12, 2023 at 4:04 pm So satisfying! It’s right up there with the update from the LW whose coworker stole her spicy lunch, accused her of trying to poison him and then got his HR girlfriend to investigate and threaten her.
I’m screaming inside too* June 12, 2023 at 4:06 pm And LW, I wish I could have been in the room to see Bob get quieter and smaller every time you made your point! You’re amazing!
Tinamedte* June 12, 2023 at 2:05 pm Yessss! I can’t stop laughing. Doing good for others while getting sweet, sweet revenge. Well played.
No Tribble At All* June 12, 2023 at 2:06 pm Heck yeah OP!! And I’m glad to hear Bob is moving on and has, somewhat? maybe? learned his lesson?
Her name was Joanne* June 12, 2023 at 3:39 pm Let me try that again. People like Bob never learn their lesson. They just go someplace else and screw things up there.
Storm in a teacup* June 12, 2023 at 4:37 pm An pick on people for getting extra guacamole in their lunch
BasketcaseNZ* June 12, 2023 at 5:04 pm So much. Deeply satisfied by this beautiful standing up to a previous bully.
allathian* June 14, 2023 at 12:37 am Absolutely! This is one reason why I love update season so much.
ShysterB* June 12, 2023 at 2:09 pm I can’t imagine a better update than this. OP, you are BANANAPANTS AMAZING.
LizardOfOz* June 12, 2023 at 2:09 pm Don’t often post – I’m more of a lurker, but I just had to say: Hats off to you, OP, you’re my hero and I want to be like you when (if?) I grow up.
Moo* June 12, 2023 at 2:31 pm Also a lurker, also commenting because I am utterly flabbergasted and amazed and amused and all the things about this update!
soontoberetired* June 12, 2023 at 2:10 pm yeah for you! and boy does this fall into the examples of what people shouldn’t talk about at work.
ecnaseener* June 12, 2023 at 2:10 pm Omg, what a delight to read this. I can only imagine how satisfying it was for you, LW. Best of both worlds, sticking it to someone who screwed you over BY advocating for your employees!
Owlet101* June 12, 2023 at 2:10 pm That’s amazing. And it’s great that you get to make sure that other’s aren’t treated the way that you were.
Wendy the Spiffy* June 12, 2023 at 3:01 pm I think that’s the part I like best, but the whole thing is gold. GOLD.
my cat is prettier than me* June 12, 2023 at 2:11 pm I love this journey for you LW. This whole saga has been insane.
Panda* June 12, 2023 at 2:11 pm THIS IS AWESOME! I love that he had to eat crow right in front of you!
hereforthecomments* June 12, 2023 at 2:12 pm That made my entire week! You are awesome, Bob is scum and congrats!
jane's nemesis* June 12, 2023 at 2:12 pm Incredible update! Being confronted with Bob at your first meeting could have been a nightmare scenario, but OP, you handled it SO WELL! Impressively well. so glad you got out of that workplace full of murder bees!
Peanut Hamper* June 12, 2023 at 2:17 pm Yep! OP handled it perfectly, and without flinging a single zinger!
Rainy* June 12, 2023 at 3:47 pm Oh, I don’t know about that–“medical documentation holds a lot of weight” is the zinger to beat all zingers.
Warrior Princess Xena* June 12, 2023 at 4:28 pm Oh yes but it’s the perfect zinger because it’s the sort of thing that only stings if you have not been doing it right! To everyone else in the meeting it would be (and in fact is!) the sort of supportive HR that helps build a strong and healthy company. To the person who denied you supportive HR in a previous role, it’s rubbing their nose in all the ways they went wrong, with huge bonus points in that the rest of the C suite is going to agree with you without knowing that they’re increasing the sting!
New Jack Karyn* June 12, 2023 at 4:57 pm Ooh, but it’s only a zinger to Bob! No one else at the table knows the backstory, so they don’t get the context. OP got to indulge a bit of pettiness without *looking* petty. It’s perfect.
tw1968* June 12, 2023 at 2:57 pm If I were in your shoes I don’t know how I would have been able to hold back telling everyone what went on at your previous emplyer!
Hills to Die on* June 12, 2023 at 2:13 pm …Just one thing though – are you going to tell anyone at your new company what Bob and the other HR derelicts at the other company did? I would hate to see any of them get a job / another contract at the new place. Is there a ‘do not hire’ list Bob et all can be on??
Emily* June 12, 2023 at 2:40 pm I think LW would need to approach that with some caution do to being so new. I think the way LW handled it is perfect (it was so, so satisfying to read this update, LW)!
IrishMN* June 12, 2023 at 2:52 pm Normally I would agree if nothing official had been recorded – but given the magnitude of the issues at LW’s former employer (having to engage a lawyer, and the actions taken by the former employer after the higher ups finally learned what was happening), it might be better to mention it sooner rather than later. I would be curious to see what people more familiar with legal/HR would say. LW – I am so happy for you!
Emily* June 12, 2023 at 3:06 pm I really think this needs to be LW’s call. LW seems pretty certain that Bob will be moving on soon, but if she sees that is changing or that Bob is “poisoning the well” in other ways than I think it is worth it for LW to speak up, but I think it ultimately needs to be up to LW’s judgment. LW knows the situation better than any of us.
Jesshereforthecomments* June 12, 2023 at 5:04 pm I agree. AAM has some similar scenarios in which Alison has given good advice and I think OP should find a way to wave all of Bob’s red flags at the HR leadership so he’s never hired on as a full employee – he shouldn’t even be a contractor.
Where’s the Orchestra?* June 12, 2023 at 2:52 pm This is kinda my thought as well. Is there a way to block HR idiot from ever coming back to the new Org? I’m fairly sure CHRO already blacklisted all the HRidiots at the old Org.
animaniactoo* June 12, 2023 at 2:15 pm From way over here, I just want to say that the schadenfreude is DELICIOUS.
Zelda* June 12, 2023 at 10:27 pm It calls for pie! https://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/09/26/how-to-make-a-schadenfreude-pie/
Rob* June 12, 2023 at 2:15 pm Great update, but it’s beyond scary to think that HR guys is just contracting from company to company doing what seems to be his best to do whatever he can to harm employees at whatever company he is at.
Nebula* June 13, 2023 at 4:46 am Yeah, he’s going to move on from this role, but without LW in his next position he’s going to be free to screw people over. However, the fact that LW and Bob both ended up at the same place makes me think that maybe this is a relatively small pond (due to location, field, or both) and if so, this won’t be the only time his reputation catches up to him. That’s my hope, anyway.
foolish.hobgoblin* June 12, 2023 at 5:31 pm OMG the banana feather in the banana cap to complete the entire banana ensemble. Perfection.
Coin_Operated* June 12, 2023 at 2:15 pm Thanks so much for this… ugh this is the BEST Petty revenge one typically only dreams about getting. Good for you!
SK* June 12, 2023 at 2:15 pm This story and it’s associated updates has been one of the most interesting and satisfying reads on AAM. Congrats to OP for finding a job that fits and healing.
Spero* June 12, 2023 at 2:15 pm Are you sure Bob will move on soon? If he is interim he may be applying for the permanent role as well. It might be worth it to mention to your supervisor that you were surprised to see Bob here as your understanding was that he was let go from a similar role at your previous company for cause in a matter that you were personally involved in. And that your attorney from that matter OR Bob’s former CHRO could provide more details if they were considering him for the permanent role. If he was placed with them by an agency they may not have checked his previous references and too many companies skip that step when going from temp to full time employees
Observer* June 12, 2023 at 2:50 pm Yes, I was coming to see if anyone else would mention this. See if you can put a bug in someone’s ear. At least others were in the room when he tried to argue against someone using their PTO. Also, there could be a legal agreement in place between Bob and your old employer, but see if you can make sure that they can reach your old mentor and former boss (the one who is retired, so that he’s not beholden to them.)
Clyde* June 12, 2023 at 3:01 pm Hmm, the issue I see with mentioning the PTO thing is how several peoplebin the room might remember this as Bob suggesting the alternative option (unless them saying Bob was so thoughtful was sarcastic) – human memory is fallible like that, it’s the same principle charlatans use to trick you into thinking they know more about you than they do.
Not Tom, Just Petty* June 12, 2023 at 2:59 pm Yes, if he’s a contractor, you should have a business reason to see if they will extend his time or offer him FT. Or include his recommendations for a replacement. Stay involved.
Where’s the Orchestra?* June 12, 2023 at 3:01 pm At the very least I would make a point to new company that you don’t ever want to be alone with Bob, as there was a very problematic incident in your past that ended up requiring legal representation to get fully sorted out, and thus you are not comfortable being alone with him.
FairweatherAdventures* June 12, 2023 at 4:26 pm I think this gives the wrong impression of the issue – it isn’t clear enough that Bob is a problem whether or not LW is around.
Kit* June 13, 2023 at 7:25 am Yeah, no – to me, this phrasing heavily implies that the problem was sexual harassment/assault and doesn’t at all convey what the actual issue was. Being alone in a room with Bob isn’t the problem, it’s Bob having HR powers when he clearly hasn’t learned anything.
Observer* June 13, 2023 at 9:33 am Yeah, I don’t think that this is useful. It also really creates a wrong impression of what the issues with him are / were.
Chilipepper Attitude* June 12, 2023 at 3:59 pm Yeah, I’m worried that Bob will NOT move on. What if they love him because of the way OP made it look like his decisions were so great in that meeting and want to keep him on!?! Can OP’s lawyer help with advice about what to say or not say? Also, I really want an employment lawyer to post all the stories! They must see some things.
New Jack Karyn* June 12, 2023 at 4:59 pm I suspect that Bob will want to move on, now that OP is the new sheriff in town.
Where’s the Orchestra?* June 12, 2023 at 11:02 pm Also hoping this is the case – but if it’s not – it’s probably time to talk to upper management about how badly HR screwed the pooch at your prior job – oh, and sadly Bob was part of the HR group.
Lana Kane* June 12, 2023 at 5:22 pm What if they love him because of the way OP made it look like his decisions were so great in that meeting and want to keep him on!?! I immediately had that thought. He should be getting ZERO credit.
Emily* June 12, 2023 at 10:29 pm That is a lot of speculating that is not really helpful to LW. I see a lot of comments dumping the responsibility of dealing with Bob on LW, and I don’t think that’s appropriate. LW has been through a lot, and it’s the company’s job to do a thorough background check. While Bob is clearly terrible at his job and also sounds like a terrible human being, this does not fall into “LW has a moral duty to report this to her bosses” territory for me. Nothing in LW’s letter indicated that Bob seems out to get her at her current job (if it did seem that way I would definitely encourage LW to talk to her bosses). LW can talk to her bosses about Bob if she wants to/feels the need to, but I think implying/stating that LW *has to* is not appropriate.
Where’s the Orchestra?* June 12, 2023 at 11:08 pm I think a lot of us who are mentioning talking to management about him are doing so from a place of “Bob has proven in the past to be horrible, he’s shown in a meeting here that he learned almost nothing from being fired, can the OP trust Bob enough to work with him the way payroll and HR need to work together” all combined together. And the fact that Bob and fellow idiots screwed up so spectacularly and put it in writing, well it’s easier than normal to prove the problematic behavior happened.
Emily* June 13, 2023 at 12:33 am It still needs to be LW’s call. There are a lot of comments stating/implying that LW should/must do something, and I don’t think that’s appropriate.
Alexander Graham Yell* June 13, 2023 at 4:26 am Agreed, and I also feel like LW has shown that she is MORE than capable of taking the necessary steps to resolve issues with Bob. Do I believe that, if she gets the sense that Bob might end up sticking around, she should drop a couple of carefully placed words in the right ear? Yes. Do I have total faith she knows to do that and has a good read on her own situation? Also yes.
Rosemary* June 13, 2023 at 11:29 am I agree that if LW does not have the emotional bandwidth to take this on she shouldn’t have to, but I also don’t see why she can’t just directly report what happened to her (vs “carefully placed words”). This is not hearsay, this is not gossip, this is not a personality clash – LW got a LAWYER involved, and Bob was fired for his incompetence and, I presume, for putting the company at significant legal risk. If I were the new employer and were even remotely considering hiring Bob in a more permanent capacity, I would for sure want to know. And even though LW isn’t necessarily obligated to divulge, if I were the new employer and something were to happen down the line with Bob, and I learned that LW had held back this information…I might be giving her some serious side eye.
Usagi* June 12, 2023 at 5:36 pm I would agree with this, you may not always be around to protect from the damage he could do to less powerful people. His boss needs to be made aware.
Llellayena* June 12, 2023 at 2:17 pm I worship at your feet. Your response to walking into the meeting and finding Bob there was *chef’s kiss! I think my version would have derailed the meeting before it started.
NoOneWillSeeThisComment* June 12, 2023 at 2:18 pm See! passive-aggressiveness TOTALLY can be appropriate!!!!
NeedRain47* June 12, 2023 at 2:44 pm If doing an excellent job in front of someone who does a crummy job is passive aggressive, I’m all for it!
Zombeyonce* June 12, 2023 at 3:06 pm I think the trick here is that, to everyone but Bob, it seemed kind and thoughtful, not PA.
Boof* June 12, 2023 at 6:55 pm Honestly I would call it assertive? I’m not sure what’s passive here; maybe a scotch aggressive just because of the backstory, but not really. “So have you gotten the paperwork for patient support?” would be more passive aggressive than “you’re right we should get patient support, can you do that?”
Avalon Angel* June 12, 2023 at 2:18 pm OP, I am so happy for you! Getting to move on to a better job AND serve some crow to Bob? This is the kind of resolution I love. I hope the future holds far less Bobs and Aubreys for you.
ChemistryChick* June 12, 2023 at 2:20 pm Holy. Mother. Of Pearl, OP the way you handled Bob is so freaking awesome!!! So glad you’re doing well!
learnedthehardway* June 12, 2023 at 2:21 pm O.M.G. Well done you for dealing with this on the spot. Please DO talk to the leadership at your new company to raise the concern about Bob’s employment as an HR anything. I would seriously make an appointment with the COO and CEO to tell them. Let them know what happened with Bob at your prior employer. You have the documentation and you can undoubtedly refer them to the CHRO at that company, if they need to do an unofficial reference on the guy (which would be a good idea for them to do). I would be concerned that Bob will try to sabotage you, whether or not he is a serious candidate for the permanent HR role at your current company. Besides which, your new co-workers deserve to be protected from him.
Observer* June 12, 2023 at 2:51 pm Good point – if you have a copy of the email where he told you that legal stuff doesn’t hold much weight, that will be gold.
Susannah* June 12, 2023 at 2:22 pm I don’t know what to say except… you are my HERO! Thanks for the wonderful updates, and best of luck on your continued recovery, LW!
Emotional support capybara (he/him)* June 12, 2023 at 2:22 pm “I smiled and looked him in the eye every time I asked, “And does Jill have her medical documentation? Great! Medical documentation holds a lot of weight. That’s important stuff to have.” He looked like he wanted to melt into his seat.” This needs framed and hung in the Louvre. Eat dirt, Bob.
MicroManagered* June 12, 2023 at 2:24 pm As a payroll manager, this update is so extra-satisfying to me! There are so many times “we” (payroll) know HR is doing their job wrong but don’t always have the standing to stop them.
Elsewise* June 12, 2023 at 2:25 pm A banana cap for the banana ensemble that has been Bob’s legacy. Congratulations on the new job! Keep feeding lemons to the jerks.
Morning Flowers* June 12, 2023 at 2:31 pm OP, this is the most pure form of “living well is the best revenge” (and its cousin “kill ’em with kindess”) I’ve ever seen. Bravissima.
Somewhere in Texas* June 12, 2023 at 2:33 pm So, when is this being turned into a movie and how quickly can I buy tickets? This is a masterpiece! Also, definitely loop in upper leadership to make sure Bob doesn’t get a full time position.
Goldenrod* June 12, 2023 at 6:23 pm Omg! That’s what I came here to say. Bob CAN suck it! What a wonderful update. I love everything about it. It’s really so true: revenge is a dish best served cold. (Also: Suck it, Bob!)
Dawn* June 12, 2023 at 2:42 pm I thought the last update was The Best Update, but this one blows it out of the water. May Bob get everything he deserves in life.
SLR* June 12, 2023 at 2:45 pm OP, I marvel that you kept your cool and wielded your righteous power over Bob with such an even hand. I would be DRUNK WITH POWER in this situation. What a marvelous feeling it must be to make that man quiver with fear every time you speak.
Slightly Less Evil Bunny* June 12, 2023 at 2:45 pm I was already doing a happy dance for you in my chair as I read your description of handling the medical requests. Then – as someone who recently lost a parent – fire shot out of my eyeballs when I read that Bob The A*Hole wanted to deny an employee’s use of their PTO to provide end-of-life care. What kind of sad, sick, twisted human being does that? Bravo to you for handling Bob so well, and to you and your company for helping that employee when they needed it. Oh, and Bob can TOTALLY suck it.
Observer* June 12, 2023 at 2:55 pm Yeah. This is just . . . I don’t have words for this. Because why? I can see a horrible boss who doesn’t care about humanity or legality acting like garbage over something that could conceivably cost the company money. But this? To deny it just because?! That’s cruelty for the sake of cruelty. This is a classic wing puller. He shouldn’t have authority over any living thing.
Clyde* June 12, 2023 at 2:57 pm I absolutely adore how the LW spun this as OF COURSE you mean this better option Bob! How nice of you to think of that! Once everyone was complimenting him on how good thinking that was when it wasn’t at all what he meant there was no way out for him anymore and I love it.
Juicebox Hero* June 12, 2023 at 2:49 pm It’s schadenfreude! It’s delicious! It’s lemon-scented schadenfreudelicious!
But Not the Hippopotamus* June 12, 2023 at 2:53 pm After reading this, does anyone else want a vote for Best Update at the end of the year ?
anonymous 5* June 12, 2023 at 3:00 pm YES. Yes pretty please with…uhh…a banana split? ;) (also, I actually used the phrase “full-on banana ensemble” in class this morning and then returned to my office to read this. Coincidence, or something more…?)
Margaret Cavendish* June 12, 2023 at 3:33 pm I definitely do! Because if it’s not this, it’s going to be something even *better* than this, and that would be amazing.
SBDavin* June 12, 2023 at 2:55 pm Oooh, that was a very satisfying read. OP, I hope you’re doing well and *chef’s kiss* on how you handled Bob.
Danish* June 12, 2023 at 2:56 pm Delightful! Good luck at your new positing and thank you for providing this delicious update.
Sandals and sneakers* June 12, 2023 at 2:57 pm I think this has got to be the best update I’ve ever read on AAM. Or at least top 3.
BookishMiss* June 12, 2023 at 9:08 pm Right up there with the hellmouth saga, for sure. SO happy for you, LW! Congrats =)
Jules the 3rd* June 12, 2023 at 2:59 pm I just shouted “YES!” so loud that my dog jumped and my husband came to check on me. This is fantastic.
Not Tom, Just Petty* June 12, 2023 at 3:02 pm Guacamole Bob and Lemon Bob walked into a bar. Still didn’t knock any sense into them. It’s not YOUR money. It is the employee’s money. They are entitled to it. You are a being an ass.
Ruthie* June 12, 2023 at 3:03 pm I’ve seen a lot about weaponized incompetence, but this story now defines a new term: Weaponized Competence. Thank you for sharing this incredibly satisfying story, OP!
BellyButton* June 12, 2023 at 3:18 pm OMG best update ever!! Karma for the win with LW getting to kill Bob with kindness and professionalism. I love it!
BringBackMyLuggageCart* June 12, 2023 at 3:19 pm stopstophesalreadydead.gif Just kidding, don’t stop. You’re awesome, and I’m so glad that worked out for you!
Rage* June 12, 2023 at 3:23 pm I have often said that Karma will get people in the end and – sometimes, if you are extremely lucky – Karma will allow YOU to be the instrument of that justice. It is oh, so satisfying! The universe certainly handed that to you on a silver platter. And I love what you did with it, to support that employee who is providing end-of-life care. When life gives you lemons, make Bob suck on ’em!
Elle Woods* June 12, 2023 at 3:29 pm Such a satisfying read. Thanks for the update. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well health-wise and are working at a place that values you.
The Unspeakable Queen Lisa* June 12, 2023 at 3:32 pm OMG, OP you are my hero! I just told my husband I have to leave him because I am in love with you. :-b
Canadiangal* June 12, 2023 at 3:33 pm Just give the CHRO the phone number of your previous CHRO and let her know that if they ever consider hiring BOB they should call her. Also let your previous CHRO know where you now, and who is there now, and give her permission to share the story. Maybe she can even share the story without even mentioning the OP?
Giblet* June 12, 2023 at 4:23 pm THIS. And yeah, there shouldn’t be a need to say it all involved you personally, LW, and in fact I wouldn’t unless absolutely necessary. New company doesn’t need to know. But any chance of him getting the permanent job should be nipped in the bud, stat. Also: hope you are feeling healthy and well.
Critical Rolls* June 12, 2023 at 3:34 pm The best use of Alison’s oft-repeated “act as though OF COURSE they were going to to the legal/ethical/correct thing” advice.
Margaret Cavendish* June 12, 2023 at 3:34 pm Standing ovation for you, OP! What an incredibly satisfying ending to this incredibly bonkers story. Well done!
SpaceySteph* June 12, 2023 at 3:46 pm I enjoy a lot of the AAM posts, but THIS is the kind of content that has me addicted for life.
Lurking Tom* June 12, 2023 at 3:49 pm Bob getting another position in HR, even as a contractor/consultant, feels like a huge failing of the reference check system! Nonetheless, he’s probably had at least one well-earned fitful night’s sleep :).
David* June 12, 2023 at 4:02 pm In my mind this is firmly cemented in the AAM hall of (in)fame as the “hold-on-to-your-bananapants saga”, so I am extremely grateful to you (and your lawyer?) for sending another update, especially such a satisfying one. Great job dealing with Bananapants Bob! No obligation of course, but I would be quite happy if someday I get to read another update about whether he stays on at the company and whether you decide to reveal anything about your past dealings with him.
Catabouda* June 12, 2023 at 4:17 pm Triple check, then check again that they have no intention of converting him to a permanent role. if there is any chance, tell someone what a horrible HR manager her was, how he got let go, ensure he does not f u your new gig by existing there.
But Not the Hippopotamus* June 12, 2023 at 4:26 pm I would not have been able to resist adding something like, “can you believe Some People don’t think medical documentation carries much weight?!” but then I’m not as professional as OP
Wem* June 12, 2023 at 4:32 pm That is hilariously awesome and extremely satisfying! Thanks much for the update!
Old Woman in Purple* June 12, 2023 at 9:32 pm I would not be unhappy if “Bob can suck it” becomes another AAM commentariat meme-worm.
yala* June 12, 2023 at 4:44 pm They say the best revenge is living well, but the apparently even better is living well AND making other people’s lives better in the process!
Bob-White of the Glen* June 12, 2023 at 4:55 pm 1st letter: Problem 2nd letter: Cure 3rd letter: Avengement What a great update! Hope Bob is learning, but I doubt it.
Captain Swan* June 12, 2023 at 5:11 pm Monuments should be erected in the OP’s honor commemorating how she dealt with Bob.
moving on...* June 12, 2023 at 5:20 pm I don’t believe I have ever been so entertained by Ask the Manager! Glad you are doing well.
Mimmy* June 12, 2023 at 5:46 pm I remember this (and just re-read both the original letter and the update). How did I not comment then?? Such a crazy bananapants situation on all fronts! OP, I am so glad you are in a much better place both physically and in terms of better employment. Best wishes to you!
Emelius* June 12, 2023 at 6:15 pm wow! this has to be one of the most satisfying ends to any situation I’ve seen on this site. I could not imagine walking into a new job and seeing that person working there. I don’t think there’s any way you could have handled that situation better!
TeaCoziesRUs* June 12, 2023 at 6:45 pm There are not enough heart and star-eyed emojis in the world to describe how absolutely BEAUTIFULLY the Higher Power dealt that particular hand!! And you played your hand perfectly, as well! Good on you for so generously enforcing the rules of what GOOD HR should look like and how you can support it financially as a company. So GOOD.
TeaCoziesRUs* June 12, 2023 at 6:50 pm Also, the only thing that would make this even more *chef’s kiss* is if RSlash gets his hands on it. :) He’s done a few AAM update posts. :D
Kara* June 12, 2023 at 8:10 pm You never know! With Reddit in blackout this would be a good opportunity!
Flying Fish* June 12, 2023 at 7:35 pm What a fantastic update! Wronged party validated and righted, jerk prevented from causing harm to others AND jerk put squarely in his place.
CommentKoi* June 12, 2023 at 8:09 pm Holy crap. The first update was already crazy and satisfying (eventually), and now this… amazing. Its like even more icing on an already-iced cake. Thank you for sharing.
Moonstone* June 12, 2023 at 8:10 pm This was absolutely delicious! I’m so glad you were able to put Bob in his place and I hope he moves on very soon – he shouldn’t be anywhere near HR and I hope he doesn’t cause too much damage while he’s there. Congrats on the great new role LW!
Michelle Smith* June 12, 2023 at 8:12 pm Okay, this is one of my all-time favorite updates. You are my hero!
Calamity Janine* June 12, 2023 at 10:02 pm while it is rude to comment on another’s eating, i for one am enjoying Bob’s new diet of humble pie.
Bubbles* June 12, 2023 at 11:51 pm This is the most perfect update! OP, I was so sorry about terrible ordeal you’ve gone through with your long medical journey and the horrible last company, but I have to say…. your former two posts were infuriating but also amazing to read. I think most of us have experienced our share of nasty and unfair companies, managers, HR personnel and/or colleagues, but your situation was extreme and your way of dealing with it has been inspirational to read. I’m so happy that you found a great new company and didn’t back down from showing this HR Director how it’s done. You should be very proud of yourself. Keep on kicking butt!!
Insert fun name here.* June 13, 2023 at 1:56 am Fantastic! I just want to know, are you going to sue the old place? And did they say anything when you quit?
Old Admin* June 13, 2023 at 4:16 am * clap clap clap * OP, you really killed Bob The Evil HR Director with kindness and graciousness. Well done! All the best for your full recovery.
Ask A Manatee* June 13, 2023 at 7:59 am LW, in addition to the amazing way you handled this, you’re a really entertaining writer! Applause for both.
Bill and Heather's Excellent Adventure* June 13, 2023 at 8:24 am Nooooo, oh my God! I can’t believe Bob was sitting there in your new job. So glad you got to make him squirm by doing nothing more than your job, OP!
Dust Bunny* June 13, 2023 at 9:53 am I am so, so, sad that I was not there to witness Bob die internally.
1-800-BrownCow* June 13, 2023 at 12:59 pm Wow, wow, wow!!! OP, I’m happy dancing like a fool just for you!!! This is awesome update. The icing on the cake would be to learn Aubrey’s cult was sued, went bankrupt and she lost everything. Okay, maybe I’m not that cruel to wish horrible things to another person, but some karma at least would be satisfying. I feel like it’s coming as karma sure showed up with Bob. Thanks again for keeping us up-to-date and I wish you continual success in the future.
ProducerNYC* June 13, 2023 at 1:07 pm This is one of my favorite updates ever. OP, I hope you replay this often and feel the delicious, delicious taste of VICTORY. I’m so pleased for you on all angles!!
Emoo* June 13, 2023 at 1:53 pm What’s that? The smell of TRIUMPH. I’m actually cackling at your interaction with Bob. AND you helped out another employee in the meantime, saving some of their PTO! This is so delightful.
Ardis Paramount* June 13, 2023 at 4:16 pm I am literally smiling through this whole post, OP. I love it when justice shines.
Nemi* June 13, 2023 at 4:27 pm Oh my, this was the ice cream, cream and cherry on top of the split you made of that bananawear pair. Go LW!
IneffableBastard* June 14, 2023 at 8:44 pm This is the dream update of all updates! Medical documentation indeed holds a lot of weight — at least 18lbs and an amazing recovery. You rock it, LW!