it’s Leap Day! let’s discuss ridiculous workplace policies

by Alison Green on February 29, 2024

It’s Leap Day and so in honor of the Leap Year employee who finally gets her birthday off this year, we must talk about bizarre, nonsensical policies your employers have had. Did they ban humor? Refuse to let you say “how are you?”  to customers? Tell you that you couldn’t wear your wedding ring because it wasn’t gold or silver? Only let employees born on Leap Day have their birthday off once every four years?

Please share any particularly ridiculous policies you’ve encountered at work in the comments.

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  1. Juicebox Hero*

    I just want to wish the Leap Day birthday employee a very happy birthday, and I hope she’s working someplace less bananpants where all birthdays are celebrated equally (or none or celebrated at all.)

      1. Oxford Common Sense*

        I also mentioned her at the breakfast table today! May she be having a wonderful day off today, and I hope she is working for a less pig-headed employer!

      2. GammaGirl1908*

        I also thought about her today! I hope she is on a beach with a pina colada today, and has new, sane co-workers.

    2. Czhorat*

      One of my favorite types of letter here is the clueless manager saying “My otherwise excellent employee is mad about something objectively unreasonable the company is doing. How do I gaslight them into thinking they’re wrong and get them to shut up about it?”

      1. Juicebox Hero*

        Me, too, and bonus points when the LW turns up in the comments to be all “but reasons!!!” and won’t budge in the face of reason, criticism, or exasperation.

          1. ChiliHeeler*

            Just because something is legal, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Requiring people to take the day off was weird but the doubling down was what really stood out as unhinged.

            1. OMG It's 2024*

              Especially since they specified that other employees didn’t always take their ACTUAL EXACTl Bday off, if it fell on a weekend/holiday. Why on EARTH would they not treat her Bday like that during the intervening years? “But there’s no 29th on this year’s calendar, so it doesn’t exist” is just so… God I hope she got outta there and left them in the lurch when she walked!

              1. Audrey Puffins*

                I would 100% have said “in accordance with company policy, as my birthday is not a working day, I will be taking the next working day off, which is the 1st of March”. I absolutely don’t understand how the LW was intelligent enough to write a coherent letter to Alison and yet not intelligent enough to see how very in the wrong they were

                1. Dek*

                  It’s something that just scrambles my brain every time I remember it.

                  Like, absolutely the Patrick ID meme.

          2. Project Maniac-ger*

            Is it normal in some industries to force people to take their birthday off? At my org we accrue one extra PTO day the month of our birthdays. Most people do not take their birthday off unless it’s part of a larger vacation.

            1. AnotherOne*

              I assumed this was supposed to be a benefit except to the one employee that it was a punishment because everyone got their birthday off except for her.

            2. So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out*

              The only org I ever worked that gave birthdays off, it was that day or the nearest weekday.
              If you can take it any time in the year, you might as well just increase the annual leave allocation at that point. (I often wonder why companies don’t do that with flexible holidays)

              1. Jamoche*

                I worked at one that did – in addition to PTO, we had a small number of days that could be used for holidays, birthdays, or other significant days. I don’t think they actually verified that it was a recognized holiday. (That just reminded me of an elementary school book where one character exploited a “you can take off religious holidays” rule by claiming every one she could find.)

              2. I am Emily's failing memory*

                At my employer, I don’t know if there’s a limit on how many floating holidays you could use consecutively – I’ve definitely seen people take two days in a row with them – but I do know we can’t supplement vacation PTO with floating holidays to create extra-long vacations.

                The idea behind them is that they’re really intended to be for those odd days here and there you need off for some kind of personal obligation that wouldn’t be covered by medical, jury duty, or similar types of special leave categories but aren’t exactly fun leisure time either, so the floating holiday prevents you having to dip into vacation PTO if you have those kinds of obligations.

                In practice the only way that is really enforced is by not allowing them to be used to extend PTO – I’ve never known anyone to be grilled around whether they were taking their floating holiday for a religious holiday, a kid’s college graduation, or an “I’m not going to make it to my next scheduled vacation without losing my mind if I don’t get a day off somewhere in between” day.

            3. Petty_Boop*

              Never anywhere I’ve worked. Most gave us 2-4 “Personal” days on top of our PTO and Holidays to take for Bday, Anniversary, whatever. No reason needed to be given. But I usually work my Bday since we celebrate usually the adjacent weekend, or go to dinner and also, I’m 50+ and don’t feel the need to be all IT IS MY BDAY TODAY!!!

            4. Lauren*

              I always take my birthday off if I can, and don’t generally have other days off around it but I seem to be in the minority in the last few places I’ve worked.

            5. goddessoftransitory*

              Mine’s on a federal holiday, so I never went to school on my birthday, and basically carried that over into my working life. I’ve only worked on my birthday once, and that was at a brand new job that I’d started only a couple weeks before. Otherwise I make sure to put my requested PTO in good and early (luckily it’s not some huge holiday that tons of people take off!) But yeah, it’s not special; anybody can request their birthday off if they want to but it’s not automatic.

              1. pandop*

                Mine’s around Easter, sometimes, what with Easter being a moveable feast, so I take the day off if I need to, but often I’m not at work anyway.

            6. Chirpy*

              My company gives us a free vacation day for our birthday, but it must be taken in that week or you lose it.

          3. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

            Thanks for the link. I had forgotten just HOW obnoxious and irritating that manager/LW was, ACK!

        3. Mel*

          “Every employee in the organisation but one gets a paid day off and a gift card for their birthday. However, we’re doing nothing wrong in denying that one employee the same benefits as everyone else for no other reason than her date of birth because we don’t publicly acknowledge birthdays — we just give every other employee those extra benefits instead.” It may not meet the legal definition of discrimination, but ethically and morally, that’s what it is.

      2. Artemesia*

        The thing I loved about that letter is that they did provide the benefits to employees whose birthdays fell on the weekend — but not to the person born on Feb 29. And she doubled down and presumably it wasn’t just one loon in that company but several to push a ridiculous policy like that.

        1. MigraineMonth*

          Yeah, that’s what pushed it from “bizarrely strict rule-following” (which is ludicrous but you can follow the logic) to “a-hole behavior”.

          Like the manager who wouldn’t let their best employee attend her own graduation because of Rules. I really started seeing red when LW revealed that they’d allowed other employees to break those same all-important rules to attend a concert.

            1. Graduate, Hard Knocks University*

              Ooooh yes! I remember that one! Because, obvs, neither money nor time was spent on getting a college degree. /s
              That LW could not see where their reasoning was just *wrong*

        2. GammaGirl1908*

          It was just too weird that they were being so objectively obtuse about the fact that obviously there is a day that she legally changes age every year, even if that year is not a leap year. Just, **facepalm**.

          2. Firefighter (Metaphorical)*

            I mean… I am on Team Leap Year Employee, but in my (sometimes overly-literal and rigid) brain, there is a clear difference between a birthday, which celebrates a specific calendar date, and “getting a year older”. The point is obscured because most of us celebrate “getting a year older” on the calendar date of our birth, but the two things are separate, as the outlying case of Leap Year birthdays shows. So the policy, in Overly Rigid Leap Year Manager’s mind, refers specifically to calendar date and not the anniversary of a birth.

            Actually the more I type this out, the weirder it is and maybe I don’t get it after all. I was going to say that birthdays aren’t always celebrated exactly 365 days after one’s birth, or all of us non-Leap-Day babies would have to shift the date back one day every Leap Year* (again showing the theoretical separability of dates and anniversaries) but then I remembered that years are actually not a whole number of days in the first place, so the whole thing breaks down at a certain point. Hmmm.

            In any case, # JusticeForLeapYearEmployee!

            1. Firefighter (Metaphorical)*

              I guess this is it: your birthday is calendar time (date on human-made system with socially constructed rules), getting a year older us cosmic time (earth goes round the sun).

            2. Random Dice*

              Birthdays are a holdover ancient Roman worship tradition, and early Christians (and a few current ones) banned birthdays accordingly.

              Just an interesting non sequitur.

            3. Jasmine*

              “ birthdays aren’t always celebrated exactly 365 days after one’s birth“

              In Taiwan people count themselves a year older when they pass Lunar New Year. I noticed on a prescription that that listed me as 65yo in February but I will not really be 65 til March 26.

              1. Azure Jane Lunatic*

                And Thoroughbred horses have a birthday of January 1 (Northern hemisphere) or August 1 (Southern hemisphere).

            4. Time*

              The reason we have leap years (and leap seconds!) is to keep time consistent with where the Earth is in relation to the sun. Ergo, on the anniversary of of one’s birth, the Earth is in almost the exact same spot relative to the sun as when one was born.

              *I* can’t prove it to you, but the proof does exist!

        3. Wilbur*

          I hope they turn themselves in for violating child labor laws since their employee hasn’t even turned 10 yet.

      3. Abundant Shrimp*

        I just re-read the letter and update and it is so wild to me. How does LW not see that they essentially gave Leap Day Employee a paycut? Throwing words around like “if it were public, I would understand, but it’s not”, “it is unprofessional”, “borne of inexperience”, but I bet LW would be singing a different tune if their compensation was suddenly cut by one paid day off and whatever amount the birthday gift card is.

        You’re right about the “asking for advice on how to best gaslight” part – LW’s letters reminded me of that one boss that didn’t give her best employee a day off to attend her own college graduation, and when the employee quit on the spot, wrote in to AAM asking how she could’ve better educated the employee about the work norms.

      4. Not Jane*

        And I work for someone like this now and it’s so hard to explain things to people who dont use logic reasoning yet use their power to ‘be right’

      5. I am Emily's failing memory*

        The one I really felt for was the small business owner who had two employees and wrote in about problems with Long-Term Employee that had largely been raised by New Employee, and it was immediately obvious to most of the commenters that NE was manipulating the owner to try to drive out LTE, and NE was actually the problem. The LW’s update some time later confirmed that the AAM community’s hunch had been right, and not long after the letter, NE had shown her true colors in some way that I don’t remember the particulars of – left the owner high and dry at a critical juncture after running off LTE, or maybe trashed the owner to mutual colleagues in the industry, something along those lines.

        1. Dr Sarah*

          It’s this one: https://www.askamanager.org/2021/08/my-employee-gave-me-an-its-her-or-me-ultimatum.html (that’s the original post).

          In the update, LTE had had enough and quit without notice, NE then also quit and took another employee (whom she’d recruited) with her, and NE and friend of NE trashed the company on social media, basically destroying it. This one did end with the OP realising that she’d been the one in the wrong. (I also like OP’s BIL’s callout in the update.)

      6. Laser99*

        “My employee keeps asking to be paid. How do I make her realize she is too big for her britches?”

    4. AnonInCanada*

      Tell me about it. I was thinking about that poor Leap Year employee yesterday. Hopefully she’s celebrating her (I’ll presume from that ridiculous letter she was born in 1988) “9th” birthday, far away from that ridiculous company.

      Happy Leap Day!

      1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

        I finally am working with my first Leap Day coworker and got to wish him a happy “18th” birthday! And gently chide him about how much longer he has until he turns 21. ;)

        I kid- he’s a sweetheart and presumably has been drinking for literally 50 years. ;)

        1. Juicebox Hero*

          My brother and his wife were married on 2-29-92 so I made sure to tease them about their 8th anniversary this morning.

          1. GhostGirl*

            Our dating anniversary is 2/29/1996, so husband and I are going out for a steak dinner for our 7th anniversary. :-D

          2. Richard Hershberger*

            I pushed for a 2/29 wedding, but my wife knew perfectly well that this was a gambit to have fewer anniversaries.

        2. No Longer Gig-less Data Analyst*

          I just found out I have a Leap Year birthday co-worker. If it weren’t for the OP saying they were Canadian I would have wondered if it was her.

          1. whingedrinking*

            I don’t think the OP is Canadian (or at least doesn’t live/work in Canada). She mentions living in a place where Jehovah’s Witnesses are considered a cult and the religion is banned, which it isn’t here.

            1. BubbleTea*

              I’m not sure we can take the LW as a particularly reliable narrator. Someone as egregiously wrong about logic and fairness might well have misunderstood the law.

              1. Lalouve*

                JW is banned in a few places (China, Russia, Singapore, I think) so it might well be the case.

        3. Elizabeth West*

          We had something that had to go out this week and everyone agreed that it NEEDED to be dated today, haha.

        4. Salsa Your Face*

          My friend just gave birth yesterday on leap day, and I said “congratulations, I look forward to attending his 1st birthday party in 2028” :D

      2. SlothLover*

        Yes. I’ve been thinking about her “age” as well. Since the company sees her as only having a birthday every 4 years, they are clearly engaging in child labor, as this employee isn’t even 10 yet, in the company’s eyes.

        Also, I really hope that this person somehow finds these posts, recognized herself, and gives us an update that she is working at a much better company now!

      3. Quill*

        As a teenager I knew a girl who was born on leap day and absolutely did not appreciate us making her a card for her “fourth” birthday.

        1. Rebecca*

          We did this too! I remember her as a very assertive woman, even as a teenager, and I fondly picture her giving that boss a piece of her mind every time that story comes up. Makes me smile every time.

        2. WriterDrone*

          I knew a family who considered themselves to have three “10 year-olds” at once. The dad was a leap day baby and turned 40 not long after his second child turned 10 and not long before his oldest child turned 11, so all three had technically only had 10 birthdays for those few days.

        3. Minimal Pear*

          I was supposed to be born on Leap Day and, knowing what my parents find funny, I’m SO glad I ended up being born on a different day.

          2. Cyndi*

            I was supposed to be born on Leap Day, but the anesthesiologist for my mom’s C-Section got double booked somehow so I’m a plain old March 1 baby.

        4. Elio*

          My great-aunt was born on Leap Day and I was very confused as a kid when she kept telling me she was 16 years old.

      4. AnonORama*

        I had a coworker with a Leap Day birthday and we’d find her funny “you’re 13!” cards and such. (There were no work-sanctioned birthday benefits for her to potentially miss out on, but we always gave her a card and a cupcake or similar on the 28th in non-leap years.)

    5. Nay*

      My sister and I have been giggling all month about the Leap Year post, but we truly hope that poor employee is working somewhere that is far more reasonable and logical.

    6. Paulina*

      My mind boggles at the contortions that that workplace had to do in order to have a cake that honoured everyone with a February birthday, but specifically exclude someone with a Feb. 29 birthday in years when that date didn’t exist. It’s still a February birthday!

      Either that or they did a very bizarre implementation of their process — like first label each date with who had a birthday that day, and base everything else on that labelled calendar — and dug their heels in, defending it.

      Happy birthday, Leap Year birthday employee. I hope you get all the cake (or other treats of your choice).

      1. MigraineMonth*

        “Happy Birthday to everyone with February birthdays EXCEPT SANDRA WHO DOESN’T COUNT THIS YEAR” is a pretty long message to write on a cake.

        1. GammaGirl1908*

          A friend and I joked that because each year is actually 365.25 days long, she should get a mini-muffin off to the side with her initials in year 1.25, a cupcake off to the side with her first name in year 2.5, a baby-smash-sized cake with her name in year 3.75, and then be on the regular cake in year 4.

          I also liked the suggestion to have her first name on the February cake and her last name on the March cake, heh.

    9. Not Totally Subclinical*

      Yes! Happy birthday Leap Day Employee! Many many AAM readers are sending you best wishes!

      2. OMG It's 2024*

        There was only the one where the OP double down on why their policy was correct and the employee was petty and stubborn and unprofessional. Alison, correctly and succinctly commented that it was lunacy.

    11. Heffalump*

      Some years ago I was working for a large company, and around Leap Day the cover of the company newsletter had a headshot of an employee captioned “Six Years Old.” Of course, she was a Leap Day baby, so she was really 24. This company didn’t give employees their birthday off. But they weren’t bananacrackers in general, and I’m sure that if they had, this employee would have gotten her birthday off every year on 2/29, 3/1, whatever.

    15. starsaphire*

      I think of her at this time of year. And I often wonder how bizarre it would be to suddenly find out that a huge number of people, somewhere on the Internet that you previously knew nothing about, have been celebrating you for years. :)

      1. Random Dice*

        That would be so wild.

        Every now and then people say they found a letter that was clearly about them.

    17. Rachel 2: Electric Boogaloo*

      I was thinking of the Leap Day birthday employee today, too! I hope she’s having a wonderful day.

    18. Look User! Even the Shop is for Sale!*

      I also wish her a Happy Birthday and I really hope she works somewhere else

    19. Reluctant Mezzo*

      I also want to congratulate all the 44-year-old people who finally got their Hogwarts letters! Eleventh birthday, remember?

      1. BubbleTea*

        Surely anyone born sooner than August 31st, and not living with fools who block the delivery of post, would have had their letters much sooner than their 11th birthday? It was secondary school place allocation day this week in the UK. I realise Howarts isn’t a state school but still, they’d be very out of step if they didn’t notify prospective students around the same time as other schools do.

    21. OMG, Bees!*

      The Leap Day birthday employee will forever be an AAM classic for me, alongside the manager who wrote in that he refused to let his best employee have half a day off for her graduation so she quit.

    22. Greta*

      I hope she went elsewhere and her replacement did not have a February 29th birthday. Or else that would wreck their budget.

    2. ChaoticNeutral*

      Same it’s literally the first thing I think about every Leap Day now. I was born in a leap year and had TWO childhood friends born on February 29 so while it is uncommon it’s obviously not impossible….justice for Leap Day Birthday OP!!

      1. Berkeleyfarm*

        One of my high school teachers had two children four years apart … both born on Leap Day.

        I am old enough that these kiddos have definitely been in the workplace so I hope they are not somewhere with those bananapants policies.

      2. Veryanon*

        I went to high school with twins who were born on Leap Day. In non-leap years, one celebrated her birthday on Feb 28 and the other on March 1. I always thought that was a very creative idea

        1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

          That is a great idea. Not only their own special day 3/4 of the time, but makes the actual Leap Day joint birthday a bigger celebration. I love it.

          1. Zephy*

            If they’re like the sets of twins I know, they’re very aware of who was born “first” (and by how many minutes), so I’m guessing Ms. 2/28 was Ms. 2/28 every non-leap year.

            1. Impending Heat Dome*

              I always liked to joke that last out was first in. (I’m the one who was born second, by 3 minutes.)

            2. GammaGirl1908*

              Agree. I assume whoever is 4 minutes older is 2/28, and the “younger” sibling is 3/1.

              (I even know a set of twins who are like 7 minutes apart, but those 7 minutes cross midnight, so they have different birthdays.)

            3. OrganGrinder*

              I knew twin brothers at college. The older one would always say to the younger, “When I was your age…”

      4. Elle*

        Me too! When leap day comes up I have to restrain myself from immediately telling people about this story without gauging whether they actually are interested first

      5. Butterfly Counter*

        My brother was born on March 1st. If he had been born the year before, he’d have been a leap baby! It’s the same day, just a little different. :D

      6. goddessoftransitory*

        I saw an article in today’s paper about a Leap Day Baby cruise–a bunch of people all got together and took a birthday trip, and had so much fun they got together again this year!

    4. ecnaseener*

      Every time I go back to read it, I’m whacked over the head with the reminder that LW said everyone gets their birthday “or the day after if it falls on a weekend or holiday” off — so it’s not even that they’re very strict about this only applying when your actual birthday is a workday! Gah!

        1. Pastor Petty Labelle*

          That the writer could not even see the contradiction right there in front of their face. Well leap day’s birthday was obviously not a work day so give her the next work day off. It really isn’t hard. A less strictly by the letter manager would have figured it out. But since the policy didn’t say specifically anything about leap day birthdays — welp nothing the manager could do.

          1. Quill*

            Yeah, like… a reasonable person would have said “you’re march first 3/4 of the time” or “sorry, the system won’t let me flag you as two different dates so I’m going to put you down as march 1” rather than “you, and only you, are denied a known workplace perk.”

          2. AngryOctopus*

            Plus denying her the gift card!! No cake, no day off, no extra perk–I hope she’s having an amazing birthday and got out of that insane job!

          3. goddessoftransitory*

            It’s “there’s no rule that says dogs CAN’T play basketball” taken to an infuriating, not cute movie extreme.

      2. Paulina*

        It sounds like their first step is to write everyone’s birthdays on the calendar. In non-leap years, there’s no Feb 29 box to write that employee’s name, so they just don’t. Yikes.

        1. AnonORama*

          This person should work at my employer! People here go HARD for birthdays and it’s difficult to convince them that no, really, you don’t celebrate. (Saying you would strongly prefer it be ignored is apparently read as a sneaky attempt to get a surprise cake and decorations in your office, possibly including a party hat that you’ll feel like a bad sport if you don’t put on.)

          As someone who hasn’t celebrated a birthday since 21 — a long time ago and possibly in a galaxy far, far, away — it was super irritating until I convinced HR to take it off the calendar. I honestly said if people are missing out on the free cupcakes, I’ll get some! I don’t eat sugar, but I don’t want my birthday hatred to deny everyone else free snacks.

          1. Richard Hershberger*

            You are my twin! Then there was the issue of my bachelor party, back in the day. My preference was not to have one, but this cause much distress. I eventually figured out that what was needed was to have some sort of event and declare it to be the bachelor part. We went to a minor league ballgame.

            1. Evan Þ*

              Reminds me of my friend’s bachelor party where we spent the evening playing board games together. It was fun – and appropriate too; he and his wife had first gotten together at a board game night where only the two of them had shown up.

    5. Miss Chanandler Bong*

      That letter was so bannapants. I can’t believe this was my first time seeing it. Just the whole thing…wow. I’m one of Jehovah’s Witnesses (so I concur with another commenter that based on the update, it sounds like the LW was in Russia) and I work for a company that gives us off on our birthday. We don’t actually have to take off on our birthday, but we can take off any day during that month. I consider it part of my benefits package, so I absolutely take a day off that month, and if I become a manager someday at this company, I will encourage others to use that benefit. Also, being able to use it at any time during the month ensures no one is excluded. My mind was blown at that letter.

    6. Manic Pixie HR Girl*

      I had a friend who gave birth just after 1am today and it was the FIRST thing that came to mind! (Aside from the usual, obviously!)

      1. S.H.I.E.L.D. Employee Playing Galaga*

        My sister is due any second, and it’s still possible where she lives to have her baby before the end of Leap Day. Hopefully, if that happens, the kid won’t have to deal with this level of insanity in their workplace.

    8. Phony Genius*

      What I remember about that letter is that, based on their update, they work outside of North America. There are some parts of the world where the normal workplace culture is that you are always to appear happy about your job and you never question your employer’s policies. In these places, respect for your superiors/employer is valued above all else. It seemed to me that this LW was deeply embedded in that culture and felt that this employee needed to “get with the program.” Looking at it from that perspective, it does not make the birthday policy any more reasonable, but it does explain why the LW and their manager wouldn’t budge (assuming that they are not empowered to change the policy).

      1. ColdClimes*

        The LW was working outside of North America, but she was Canadian and this is definitely a bananas concept to a Canadian. (Or, at least, to me. A Canadian.)

        1. Jane Gloriana Villanueva*

          In the original letter, the LW explains that she was the employee’s manager, but also that *her* manager thought Leap Day Birthday Gal was being “petty.” It was so frustrating to me as a reader (and at time of publication, a new manager as well) that they couldn’t see this policy needed to be amended, because every human being has a birthday. I don’t know all of my coworkers’ birthdays, but they still age every year! The LW and her manager doubled down on this wrongness, and then LW sent an update to still defend her utterly stupid position! I thought about LDBG last night and hope she’s gotten extra special birthdays in 2020 and this year and forevermore.

    9. HB*

      I’ve been looking forward to this post for about 3 days now.

      My dream is that the leap year employee will one day see the post and update us. My guess is this policy wasn’t the only bananabeepants going on at that company. Or I’d really just love a breakdown of the conversations they must have had.

  3. Daisy*

    Friend’s boss (female) wouldn’t let friend wear makeup or high heels because (and she really said exactly this) then friend would be more attractive than her.

    Said boss also told me that men were to be pounded and massaged like a cheap piece of beef.

    2. Wolf*

      That’s an impressive amount of sexism against both men and women. (I don’t dare to ask if she had any opionion on enby, but I’ll assume it wasn’t better.)

      1. Jolie*

        I would guess she’s the kind of person who would say “Why, I don’t believe in enbies”. The correct answer to that is “Oh, enbies don’t believe in you, either”.

        1. not nice, don't care*

          Correct answer is ‘hopefully the lawyer managing the discrimination cases will educate you’.

          1. Jolie*

            The judge doesn’t believe in your ability to get out of it scot-free, and after you’re done paying rightful compensation let’s see how much the bank will believe in your credit score.

          2. Dr Sarah*

            I managed to read this as ‘hopefully your lawyer will believe in you’ and LOL’d.

        2. N C Kiddle*

          Yeah, that level of sexism relies on a rigid gender binary so of course they aren’t going to acknowledge the existence of anyone outside it.

    3. Caliente Papillon*

      But how do you “let” someone wear make-up or high heels? I would love for someone to try that with me because I can’t even imagine how that would work, I feel like I’d laugh because that’s fricking hilarious.

      2. Lenora Rose*

        I pretty much can’t wear high heels but boy would a comment like this hit my “Okay, tomorrow instead of my usual no makeup I am DOLLING UP.”

        1. Glitsy Gus*

          Right? I only wear the most minimal makeup day to day, but in this case? FULL FACE O’ SLAP FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!

          I know the person in this situation probably just wants to get by until they can find a better job, and I wouldn’t blame them from just complying until then to avoid drama, but I would be so tempted.

      3. Pennyworth*

        In London some years ago temp agencies uses to mandate high heels for women. I think it took a court case to overturn the mandate.

    4. Observer*

      Friend’s boss (female) wouldn’t let friend wear makeup or high heels because (and she really said exactly this) then friend would be more attractive than her.

      Was this a 2 person company with the boss being the owner? Because otherwise, I can’t see how she could get away with this.

      Also, this is a level of bad judgement and insecurity that makes me wonder how she ever got to a “boss” status.

        1. allathian*

          Yeah, well, heels would be disallowed for safety reasons in a lot of research labs. The one my parents worked at required close-toed flat shoes that also covered the top of the foot to be worn at all times, so flat dress shoes were also out. A lot of the time they were also required to wear PPE, and it was simply more practical to avoid makeup altogether. I’ve never seen my mom wear anything other than lipstick, which she last wore at my wedding. It’s very hard to tell either from her graduation or wedding photos if she wore any makeup on those, both were monochrome and possibly retouched.

          I’m not questioning the decision to disallow heels or makeup, but the reason for the ban is unreasonable.

          1. Glitsy Gus*

            I sometimes need to do site visits to labs and I learned the hard way to go ahead and wear my “professional lady flats” in the conference rooms and to keep my “clean room sneakers” in my bag so I can change for the tour.

    6. Ellis Bell*

      If this was the pilot, I’d definitely watch the sitcom. I hope your poor friend was okay working there.

  4. A. Nonymous*

    I once had a humorless, socially clueless peer attempt to institute a no small talk rule. No one was even willing to humor such a silly request, but it was fun to watch her steam about it.

    2. Bast*

      I worked somewhere that got really bad towards the end (as opposed to only normal bad in the beginning) and instituted what was essentially a no talking policy. Even a simple, “good morning” would get you nasty glares from some individuals. A completely work related question would get you a a “be quiet” unless it was something that could be answered with a simple yes or no — you would be told to just email the person, who was often sitting right next to you. Of course, this did NOT apply when certain people wanted to discuss the Superbowl at length, or take a half an hour discussing where to order from for lunch.

      1. Middle Aged Lady*

        Yes, I worked at a place like that. I was once at the receptionist desk discussing work and one of the bad managers came over and asked, “Are we working, ladies?”
        You talked on your break, outside the building. But then they got to where they didn’t like a group of us going out to lunch together because we were ‘conspiring.’ The place didn’t have a lunchroom. They wanted us to eat at our desks.

        5. Emily Byrd Starr*

          But you were discussing work, so the correct answer to that question is “Yes.” The no lunch room rule is weird.

          1. Middle Aged Lady*

            There were so many things wrong with that place. The same ‘no talking’ big boss spent about an hour a day chatting with her admin with her door open so we could hear all about her kids, vacations and shopping trips. It was Hypocrisy Central.

      2. Arglebarglor*

        I worked as a production editor at a smaller imprint of a big famous publishing company. At some point our little imprint (that was mostly Sci-Fi/fantasy, romance, mystery, self-help books and some biographies and trendy nonfiction) was merged with the namesake imprint of the company. Their production staff were moved to our floor. We were a very nerdy, fun, chatty group who always got their work done but got along well and had a good time doing it. When the other imprint (whose staff took themselves VERY seriously) moved in, they essentially “told” us that we were having too much fun and were too loud, and that the floor should essentially be run like a library with ZERO TALKING AT ALL, and then ONLY in whispers or a very low voice if ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. This did not go over well, since most of the newcomers were given their own offices with doors that they could close (so close it if you don’t want to hear our normal-level “hi, how’s your day, can you take care of this for me” type conversations) AND our little imprint made the popular novels and series etc that basically brought in ALL the money for the whole company and basically funded their “serious LITERATURE.” There was a lot of eye rolling and our manager told their manager to stick it. It was a lovely day.

        1. Former Locus staffer waves in sf solidarity*

          One of those days I wish we could go offlist for a direct message.

          1. Enai*

            Start a discord or something? This has got to be doable without just dropping your emails on the open web.

            Or use mailinator for the first messages and then move on to your private emails?

      3. Adds*

        That reminds me of Old Job. My department head tried to institute a rule that ALL communication outside of our department had to go through her, in the most asinine, and ridiculous version of Telephone you’ve ever encountered, and never thought you would have to as an adult working with “professionals.”

        Example: I handled purchase orders (and AP) and if I had a question about a PO request from Bob in Sales, I was supposed to tell her what my question was and then she’d ask Bob’s manager (or maybe Bob directly, but probably not) and give me the answer when she heard back. We refused to comply because it was insane.

        She also briefly tried to tell the other departments that if their staff had questions for her staff the questions must be brought to her by the department heads. The other department heads told her to GFY in no uncertain terms.

        That place was awful and so full of egos trying to prove that they were The Most Important Person but she was especially unhinged.

        1. AnonForThis*

          My previous manager had become the department’s Information Gateway, and once got visibly upset and called a project manager “uppity” for asking me directly about timelines. It was bizarre and made me so uncomfortable that I kind of laughed before I realized he was serious.

          In a much colder tone I told him not to use that word, that I thought the project manager was brilliant, and that it saved everyone time if she brought her questions on our shared project straight to me. I never fully trusted him to deal with women fairly after that, either.

      1. A. Nonymous*

        No small talk at all, among anyone, near her or otherwise. A completely unreasonable request in a modern office that wasn’t honored by anyone with an ounce of social graces.

        1. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

          Years ag0 (before cellphones) I had a co-worker who forbid talking, radio or music during the carpool rides to work. She wanted complete silence. When I met her she had just lost her second carpool group and was looking for another. She as a passenger not a driver.

          1. ITT non tech*

            No music or talking in my own car? Yeah you would be walking. Get your own car if you want complete silence.

            1. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

              She didn’t have a car so she was at the mercy of the drivers but she never clued in that maybe she didn’t have any power about noise in someone else’s car.

              1. allathian*

                In the era before cellphones there were no noise canceling headphones either. But yeah, I would’ve recommended a set of those hearing protectors that construction workers use and some lucky noise-sensitive kids get to wear in daycare and kindergarten, or shank’s pony.

                I mean if she doesn’t want to do small talk, grunts or one-word responses will get the driver to stop if they’re the only other person in the car, unless they’re the sort that can keep a one-sided conversation going for as long as the journey takes, but the decision to switch on the radio or listen to other music is up to the driver, at least as long as the volume isn’t high enough that you leave the car with temporary tinnitus.

                She seems to have trouble telling the difference between a carpool and a cab.

          2. Seeking Second Childhood*

            Wow, no… music or not is entirely at the discretion of the driver. You know…the person who owns the car and is doing all the work and is keeping you safe at highway speeds!?

            1. goddessoftransitory*

              I mean, I could see someone requesting that the volume be turned down if it’s BLASTING or something, but still, if one is dependent on others for rides? Beggars can’t be choosers.

          3. Random Dice*

            DC has a carpool system, “slugs”, and the rules specifically say that the driver chooses all – temperature, media, chitchat vs silence.

        2. Leenie*

          Honestly, I wouldn’t consider it a rule if she just wanted to refrain from small talk herself. I think that’s a personal boundary, unpleasant or not. It seemed pretty clear to me when you called it a rule that it was an office-wide attempted rule. And that’s just not something that an individual can dictate based off of their personal preference. I’m glad you all ignored it.

    4. JF*

      I worked under a boss (not technically my boss – I was a ‘float’ in the location – but ended up stuck there for a long time because they mysteriously couldn’t keep people on staff…) who instituted that policy once. Even when there were no customers present, she wanted us to sit silent and stone-faced unless we had something work-related to say.

      Other policies she tried out included rolling out her own personal script for how we should answer the phone (this was an international company. She came up with something for just her own location.) Which was so long that customers would hang up about partway through, presumably under the assumption that they must have reached a recording because surely no human would waste a solid minute of their time with this extended nonsense greeting.

      And the time she tried to enforce her personal policy where there must be two people behind the counter at all times. There was a counter staff of three people. So during lunches, or if someone had to step away to help a customer, we couldn’t step away to use the restroom or anything until the third person came back.

      This policy backfired on her one day when only two of us were behind the counter and nutso manager tried to make herself a cup of mac n cheese or something in the microwave. She forgot to add water. The microwave started to smoke. The smoke alarm went off. We were just sitting there, with a full view into the kitchen, watching her run around like a chicken with her head cut off. We couldn’t help her, because then someone would be alone behind the counter!

      I want to note that, after I moved on to another position at a different company, I heard she had been fired. Like hardcore fired, like HR showed up at the location with security to walk her out fired. I am not surprised. Every time I’ve run into a boss who acts like this much of a tyrant, it’s always turned out that they were stealing from the company. I strongly suspected that she was when I was there, as well, but I wasn’t able to get any evidence before I left. (I wasn’t trying too hard. Everyone above her knew she was nuts and they were just letting her run her little show, and I ended up stuck there with her because her staff kept quitting. I wasn’t feeling super inclined towards doing a lot of sleuthing. I just did what was required of me as far as oversight and reporting – like normal daily security checklist stuff – and even that she often got weird about, which was why I was so sure she was stealing.)

    5. JustaTech*

      I once had a coworker insist that we could only have “”intellectual” conversations at work (while we were trapped in the clean room for hours on end waiting for something to warm up, cool down, fill or empty).
      I guess he was mad that our other coworker and I had been talking about the logistics for her wedding.
      I, being a very young smartass, decided to offer up Russian literature as our next conversation topic, since that would be “intellectual” (and I knew just enough to hold my own for a few minutes).

    6. I am Emily's failing memory*

      Ahh, remember the “No Jokes Allowed, At All, Ever, In Any Context” workplace?

  5. Carlie*

    I had a part-time job during high school in a supermarket, where many students also worked in the evenings and weekends. Students weren’t allowed to do homework in the staff canteen (the only place staff members had available to sit in), either before our shifts started or during breaks, as it “wasn’t restful” for the full-time staff to witness.

    1. Chocoholic*

      I had a job in college where I was not allowed to do homework on my breaks. I never got a good reason as to why. I said it was my time and I was allowed to do whatever I wanted. They said I wasn’t allowed to do homework. Ridiculous. I didn’t stay there too long.

      1. By the Book*

        I worked at a phone bank in college. We were supposed to let the phone ring 10 times before hanging up; that was about a minute each time to study my A&P vocabulary discreetly tucked inside a drawer or from an open textbook on the floor under the desk.

    2. Strict Extension*

      I was an occasional drop-in staffer to an engaged-to-wait-style desk job for a while, and the policy there was that students could do homework, down to spreading out multiple textbooks and writing papers on the work computer, because it was good and inspiring for the patrons to see them working so hard, but if you were not in school, you could not do anything involving personal items, like reading a book, because you looked distracted. You could, however, use the organization’s computer to scroll Facebook all night, as long as you weren’t ignoring work that came up because patrons couldn’t see the screen.

    3. Elle*

      Because usually the break room at a supermarket would be a very restful place (insert massive eye roll here)

      1. Broken Lawn Chair*

        Mine sure isn’t. It’s too small, and at any given time, there’s at least one and usually two or three of the following going on at the same time:
        – coworkers having annoying conversations
        – something obnoxious on the TV
        – someone having a personal call on their phone
        – someone watching something noisy on their phone

    4. MountainAir*

      Why are supermarkets like this with weird employee policies? I also worked part time at a supermarket during my first college summer, and their weird rule was that if you didn’t have customers you had to stand at the end cap by the register and weren’t allowed to talk to any of the other cashiers….regardless of if any customers were in the store. So at dead times of day 2-4 were all supposed to be standing like…8 feet apart and not talking.

      1. ZugTheMegasaurus*

        I worked at a Lowe’s like 15 years ago and they had the same policy. I had so many customers ask about it; it was embarrassing.

        1. MountainAir*

          Because this would have been in the same timeframe (15ish years ago) I’m now wondering if this was some concept propagated at a conference a whole bunch of retail managers attended. Because it truly makes no sense!

          1. goddessoftransitory*

            I would guess it started as “always have an employee in sightline, ready to help.” It sounds good, but of course you end up with your staff standing around like extras in a zombie movie instead of doing things like stocking.

      2. goddessoftransitory*

        But not restocking, or cleaning, or anything else that they theoretically were paying you to do??

        1. MountainAir*

          Nope! And honestly, cashiers mostly weren’t supposed to be doing those things. (The main thing they would have us do is go down aisles and face products outward, otherwise other staff handled those other tasks. Or also, take pop quizzes about where items were located in store (by aisle number) so that we could direct customers.) For a grocery store that always had a few lengthy periods during the day where it was pretty dead, the time and employee management practices were suboptimal!

      3. Bleep Blorp*

        We had that at the grocery store I worked at, too. We were told we should be out “fishing” for customers. As if we needed to tell them to come to an open register to check out because they couldn’t figure it out otherwise. I picked up a magazine to glance through once while I was standing there and was told I wasn’t allowed to do that. Just to stand there and say hi to customers until one was ready to come through my line.

        1. MountainAir*

          It is so so wild. The “fishing for customers” thing is hilarious, because I think that was the idea for us too, but it’s not as if grocery stores really rely on employees giving a hard sell/convincing someone to check out in order to close the deal? Like…if someone is pushing a cart around, they are gonna come to you eventually.

          1. MigraineMonth*

            That sounds less like fishing and more like shooting fish in a barrel.

            Did they really think there were lots of customers who a) traveled to the grocery store; b) entered the store; c) started placing items in a cart; d) couldn’t find a way to pay for the items; and f) abandoned items when they left the store? If I’ve *ever done* that in my life, it was only because I realized I’d forgotten my wallet and had no way to pay.

            1. Chirpy*

              To be fair, I work in (non-grocery) retail, and people will absolutely abandon carts they spent an hour filling because there were 2 people ahead of them at checkout and they couldn’t *possibly* wait 5 more minutes.

        2. Glitsy gus*

          that’s one of those weird things where the seed of the idea makes sense- step forward and make sure customers aren’t all lines up atone check stand and if you see people bunching up wave and let them know you’re free to help. Because Retal, though, it morphs into “stand here like a breathing mannequin, don’t talk or move, and freak people out.”

    5. WeirdChemist*

      I had a retail job in college where I worked in the back away from customers, and mostly sat in front of a computer. I wasn’t allowed to do homework out of a physical textbook, but could do literally anything I wanted on the computer, including homework. So I got in the habit of finding pdfs of textbooks and working from there. The computer screens were very visible to management as they walked by (not customers). We would be openly on Facebook/Reddit without issue, but the second a textbook (or newspaper, or regular book) came out we all got in trouble. I think my manager was just super tech illiterate (he once asked me how much an e-mail cost to send)

    6. goddessoftransitory*

      Okay, they can stare at their phones like normal people! Were the students performing elaborate, Frankenstein-level experiments of a dark and unholy nature, the profane secrets of which would destroy all who gazed upon them, or something?

  6. dietcoke*

    My last job (small museum) would not let us work in our offices for a period of about 8 months. One person (literally one person) commented on our FB page that the public floor did not have enough staff to assist people. The director flipped out and declared that no one was allowed to work in their office until we had 100% positive feedback. We had to take our laptops out and find a place to sit. I left well before the ban lifted, but one of my coworkers indicated that another person had left a 3-star review shortly after office work was reinstated, and they all had to go back to working on the public floor.

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      That makes sense. My favorite part of going to the library is sharing a table with other people. Especially people who are working. That must have been a new level of awkward for everyone. I’d feel like I was interrupting your work if I had to sit near you.
      There is no way I would feel like I could interrupt you if you had taken a spot with your laptop. You must be there to get work done. So I will find someone else.
      Oh, you are all working sitting with laptops. Guess I’ll help myself.
      I wish I’d been at your library. This is my first thought and I would have left it in my review.

      2. dietcoke*

        Exactly! It didn’t even make sense as a solution. Not to mention, sensitive work/emails/phone calls. We were allowed to use a private room for sensitive phone calls ONLY if necessary, but even having private emails or data (like, committee decisions that were not yet public) on my laptop screen in an open, public area… ridiculous.

    2. Devo Forevo*

      When I worked at a small museum about a decade ago, management’s MO was that any incident had to have a new rule made. At one point we were told that while in the galleries we had to stand two arm lengths apart, and measure that every time another employee came in the room.

      4. Leenie*

        Huh. I’m really short, with proportional limbs. Would it be calculated on my arm’s length, or yours? Or one of each?

      5. kendall^2*

        At one point I volunteered at a makerspace where the manager’s rule 0 was “don’t do things that will make us make more rules.” Which turned out to be quite useful for quite a long time.

        1. JustaTech*

          That sounds a lot like my high school and college’s unofficial but very spoken rule 0: don’t be a jackass.
          Rule 1 in high school: no roller skating in the building (which made sense, it was very small and all stairs, but oddly specific).
          Rule 4 in college: no making napalm, ever.

          1. Protoa*

            rule four for college is more reasonable than you might think, never trust chem students, they will make brownie napalm

            1. Enai*

              Umm. Is there a recipe or is it just what you get when you unwisely use the oven in the lab for your actual food baking?

              2. BeeKay*

                I’m not sure how true this is, but I heard a story in college that a chem professor walked into the lab to find a student heating a beaker full of almost a liter of liquid over a Bunsen burner (open flame). “What’s in the beaker?” asked the prof. “Oh, it’s just nitroglycerin.” was the reply.

                They had to call the bomb squad.

              3. Protoa*

                leave brownie in oven until batter molten hot, remove, sticky as all heck and hot as it too

        2. St. Mary’s Institute of Historical Research*

          This is…. Actually incredibly useful and I’m using it in my classroom next year!

        3. MigraineMonth*

          Safety rules are written in blood… or the fifth shot of cheap vodka. The quality/obviousness of those rules varies accordingly.

      6. Hydrangea MacDuff*

        I used to work for a company that printed school handbooks and planners. We skimmed over hundreds of school handbooks prepping them for print. You could always tell the schools where every incident creates a rule rather. I remember one very convoluted weapons policy that specified in great detail and with multiple examples that anything that’s used as a weapon is considered a weapon even if the object wasn’t created to be a weapon, like a pencil or a baseball bat. It was bananas

        2. Laser99*

          I can just imagine. “Well it doesn’t SAY I can’t make napalm! Show me where it says I can’t make napalm!!!”

      7. Gumby*

        Finally! A professional use for all of my drill team experience in high school! (I sincerely hope you measured the arm lengths with a ‘clap-clap-T’ move complete with people on the end putting their outer arms – the ones with no one o the other side – behind their backs.)

    3. Accidental Itinerant Teacher*

      This reminded me of my ridiculous museum policy!
      I worked at a small museum giving tours of historic homes. We had a guest complain that the guide had answered another guest’s question about whether the house was haunted.
      So we were forbidden from ever mentioning ghosts- even when directly asked about it by guests.

      1. Seeking Second Childhood*

        We at the (museum acronym) can neither confirm nor deny the presence of ghosts in the building.

        But gee think if the next complaint is that you DIDN’T answer a question. You may have generated perpetual motion. Or at least protected earth against AI overlords.

        1. Chirpy*

          I can confirm that people will be really disappointed if you tell them there are no ghosts in the historic house.

          I never even had a mildly creepy experience in there, even at night. Sure, the original owners did die in there, but I’m guessing if there were ghosts, seeing their house well-kept just as they left it would keep them happy? There weren’t even any critters getting in to make weird noises?

    4. TopBanana*

      This reminds me of when I worked at a hair salon long ago.

      The owner’s chair was right next to the reception desk (likely the root of the issue). If I was performing other duties when the phone rang or a client came in (like sweeping, dusting product shelves, washing towels, etc) I was chastised for not being instantly available. When I intentionally started to finish my other work more quickly and sat at the desk waiting for clients, I was told it was a bad look for the salon that I wasn’t more busy.

      For the record, I always went above and beyond in my work, and never had a client complaint lodged against me.

    5. Mim*

      I would have been tempted to leave a negative review of the museum because there weren’t enough places to sit due to all the people working on laptops in exhibit areas.

    6. Raida*

      One of my mates’ workplaces attempted something similar.
      They backed down immediately upon realising they’d be clearly instructing staff “to work without the necessary tools to perform their job safely” IE the desk, monitor, keyboard, chair, etc are all set up to *not* create RSI or strain.

      Their only option was to install pods for staff to work at, and that would cost money so…

    7. Glitsy gus*

      pay a friend to leave a review saying, “it’s so awkward, all of the employees are working on laptops on the floor. One would.think they would have an office for them to use.”

  7. Football fan*

    A supervisor once told us that we couldn’t mention or discuss the Super Bowl at work because to do so was akin to supporting domestic violence. (Around this time, there was a prevalent myth going around that more incidents of domestic violence occurred on Super Bowl Sunday.)

    1. ChurchOfDietCoke*

      Is that a myth? Or is it fact?

      Certainly here, the incidence of domestic violence increases significantly when England plays in the World or European Cup.

      Research by the University of Lancaster shows violent domestic abuse incidents increase by 38% when England loses football matches. Rates are also 26% higher when the team wins or draws.

      1. Juicebox Hero*

        It’s one of those situations where there’s a lot of anecdotal evidence, but no statistical correlation has been shown.

            1. Beany*

              Juicebox Hero responded to CODC’s comment about a statistical correlation for soccer in the UK with a comment that “no statistical correlation has been shown” (no qualifier).

              Now perhaps JH meant that no statistical correlation has been shown *for American Football*, but the placement of their reply indicates otherwise to me.

        1. Sheworkshardforthemoney*

          Based on what I’ve seen on social media, there are a lot of men who destroy their TV when their team loses the Super Bowl so maybe men shouldn’t be allowed to have TVs.

          1. Zephy*

            Wasn’t there an ad for some streaming service during last year’s Super Bowl that made it look like the cable went out for a second (with the upshot being “with our service THIS won’t happen to YOU!”)? I remember hearing something about a spike in DV calls at halftime or something but I don’t recall all the details, that may have been someone’s idea of a joke or something.

      3. Czhorat*

        There was a very alarming statistic about DV incidents during the Superbowl which was apparently stated in a TV interview without any data to support it and has been debunked.

        That said, there are also various real connections between sporting events – especially involving upset losses – and domestic violence.

        So I suspect that it’s a mixture of true and false. My own uneducated observation is that people tend to drink more heavily than usual on Superbowl Sunday, but are also more likely to be in semi-public at a Superbowl party or gathering. One of these would make violence seem more likely, the other less.

      4. Stuff*

        Anecdotally, I can tell you that when my city lost a hockey game when I was a kid, I had to walk on eggshells around my stepfather if I wanted to avoid his temper, and I was particularly afraid of him when there was a game on.

        1. Lexie*

          A CPS worker told me they would see an increase in calls to the child abuse hot line when the local schools distributed report cards.

      5. Student*

        I lived for a couple years in a US city that threw an annual riot when certain local sports teams lost. It was ridiculous. It was also very predictable. I remember barring my door, having to reroute around riot activities while driving, and having to deal with the mess the rioters left behind everywhere. It was truly abhorrent.

        The one year that people didn’t riot on their own for whatever reason, the police (caught on many cameras) instigated a riot on purpose.

        After that debacle, the city finally stopped issuing permits for the annual event that always precipitated the riot. Yes, the city had been issuing permits for what was essentially a pre-planned sports riot.

        1. Boof*

          I mean… waht? Why did the police riot? Was this their personal purge event or something?
          (and that’s not even asking the other really logical question of why this went on for more than, oh, say, 1-2 riots in the first place)

          2. MigraineMonth*

            I’m not sure why they did in this particular case, but police riots have a long and colorful history in the US. The violence by police at the 1968 Democratic National Convention and the 1992 “Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association Riot” in NYC come to mind. (The latter was in protest of additional accountability measures.)

            As for why they had annual riots: TRADITION! It may be foolish, it may be awful, but we’ve done it before so we’ll do it again.

    2. thinkirememberthisstudy*

      My recollection is that _reporting_ of domestic violence, or calls to shelters, tends to go up during major sporting events, because it’s a time when many perpetrators are distracted and the victims can get away safely to ask for help. The sporting events themselves are not encouraging violence.

      1. Not Alison*

        You missed the point. It is not the sporting event itself that causes domestic violence – it is people getting extremely angry that the team they support (or bet on) has lost. If their team wins, they see themselves as a winner. If their team loses, they see themselves as a loser and the domestic violence occurs to make themselves feel like less of a loser or to get their anger out at losing.

    3. Ama*

      A lot of people are missing the point here — the point isn’t whether or not the fact is true, the point is that this supervisor is acting like the “don’t be excited for snow because it causes issues for some people” manager from a few days ago and trying to decree that just because some bad things might happen in conjunction with a larger event no one is allowed to be excited about the event. Which is ridiculous.

    5. Gumby*

      That is not where I thought the supervisor was going there. From the first sentence, I assumed it was one of the cases where a player had been benched because of a DV incident but had been allowed back after a short suspension.

      1. Enai*

        Yes I expected that too. It would’ve made a roundabout kind of minimal sense (celebrities often get away with even very public spousal abuse, the sportsball player is only a celebrity because he plays in the superb owl. Not watching the superb owl would therefore lessen his celebrity status and diminish his cover from The Law. If enough people won’t watch Mr. Wifebeater, maybe his team will fire him). But “many men beat their wives when their favorite team loses” is not even slightly influenced by how many other people saw the game.

    6. This Daydreamer*

      Hi. I work at a domestic violence shelter. Your supervisor is full of bat guano.

  8. L-squared*

    I worked at a company a while back who had weird reimbursement policies. They were also super cheap, so they’d try to “incentivize” you to save them money. So for example, if you were traveling for work, and you split an uber to/from the airport you got some kind of incentive. I want to say it was $10. Nothing major, but it was fine if you were going the same place anyway, when I probably would have split unless I really didn’t like the person.

    Well, I learned that it was ONLY for airport travel, nothing else. I learned this because me and a coworker (we live in a major city, so its not uncommon to not have cars, and we didn’t) lived fairly close to each other, but had to go to an onsite meeting on the other side of town. We ubered there separately, but split one coming back. So I put my incentive on my expense report, and was given it. Well a week later, I was pulled into a meeting where they said they were taking it back, because it was only meant for airport travel. So I basically said “so instead of giving me $10, you would rather had both of expense separate $50 ubers”. And they basically said “well that would be your choice”. I told them how ridiculous that was, but that it was more ridiculous that you wanted to claw back the money you gave me and not just tell me that I couldn’t do it going forward.

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      I am so irate I am sputtering with my keyboard. “It’s your choice” to what, screw over the company? Well, right back atcha, fellas.

    4. anonymous anteater*

      oh travel reimbursement rules can be so wonky! Domestic trips here are pretty straightforward, but when you need to go abroad, the paperwork ramps up immensely. If you attempt to be conscious of spending our (public) dollars, and put any form of public transit in your itinerary, they need to know which subway you will take and exactly when it will arrive. Doesn’t matter that you tell them, this is a big city, the train goes every 10 minutes, I will take whichever one comes.
      If you decide to spring for a rental car or taxi for multiple times the cost, no questions asked.

      1. SemiAnon*

        Oddly enough, ours are more complex for domestic travel. For international, we are expected to take public transit when feasible, and just claim the amount, take taxis/Ubers when needed and provide receipts, and list rental car costs on the travel approval form.

        Domestic travel comes with rules like you can only take high speed rail if it saves you a night in a hotel (typically HSR takes 1-1.5 hours compared to about 3-6 on regular train), and for a local talk you can accept an honorarium or claim expenses, but not both.

    5. Wilbur*

      My old company offered $100 every year for safety shoes (steel toes). It’s not quite enough to cover a decent pair. I work in a lab, so it’s not very hard on shoes. I asked if I could have the full cost of my shoes reimbursed ($125), since I was only going to get a new pair every other year. Nope, couldn’t make that happen, so I just bought a new pair every year.

      Just bought a flight for work. They use Concur for booking flights, and anything that’s $1 more than the least cost logical flight gets flagged. I’m flying overseas, it decided the least cost logical flight was a 40 hr option with 3 layovers. The options that only take 20 hours and cost $20 more are automatically flagged to be reviewed by a VP. Do they want me to spend an entire extra day in an airplane/airport?

      2. PaulaMomOfTwo*

        Tip: Change your window of departure, and you can optimize a good flight without getting flagged.

      4. Martin Blackwood*

        Makes me thankful for my company’s policy for steel toes ($80 a year or $170 every two years) Theoretically I can get the discount At The Partnered Store but the guy was totally unable to find me on the supplied list. I talked to my manager about it and she found me on it in two seconds. So I had to wait for another paycheque for that 170 bucks.

      5. Lizzianna*

        We use Concur and I often need to fly to another part of the state. I’m on the West Coast. There are 2 direct flights a day, it’s a 60-90 min flight, depending on if you have a tail wind or not. Concur will often route me through the Rocky Mountains for this trip, and flag the direct flight as not meeting travel policies because it’s $20-$30 more. Not only does the itinerary make zero sense, the fact that I’m often flying back in the evening means my risk of getting stuck in Denver overnight if there are any delays or weather at all goes up significantly.

    6. Jamoche*

      I was on a joint project between two separate companies in Silicon Valley, and I spent all my time at the company I didn’t work for. We all went to Australia for a week-long business related event. The other company’s travel rule was that you could upgrade to business class based on the length of the flight, which of course Australia qualified for. So I ordered a business class ticket too, sitting with my team, well in advance of the flight.

      Turned out my company’s rule only kicked in after a certain number of flights of any length, which benefitted the sales team that made frequent short trips, but meant I was required to cancel my business class ticket and get one in the back of the plane. Of course by the time they realized this, the economy tickets were as expensive as the one I’d just cancelled.

      My personal rule after that experience is never to cross an ocean in economy class.

    7. Lizzianna*

      Travel reimbursement is so weird.

      When we moved across the country, my agency said they’d cover lodging for me for the drive. I had my husband and cats with us, so we picked inexpensive motels that allowed pets. Unfortunately, some of those motels charged an extra fee to have 2 adults in the room, and that was reflected on the itemized receipt.

      So even though we were well below the overall approved per diem, they wouldn’t reimburse the $10 fee for my husband. But had we stayed in lodging $40 more that doesn’t charge for an extra adult, there would have been no questioned asked.

      (Also, having another adult with me allowed us to get there faster. We’re only supposed to drive a certain number of hours a day, if we have a second driver, we can go 4 or 6 more hours. They would have ended up paying for at least one more night of lodging if I’d been the only driver and stuck to that rule strictly).

  9. It was me*

    Had a manager who would publicly scold employees who referred to her as “my manager “ or “my supervisor”. She said it was extremely disrespectful for someone to describe her as “my manager” because the possessive language implied the employee somehow owned her. We all walked on eggshells around her for years.

    1. Juicebox Hero*

      What did you call her, then? Refer to her by name every time? She who doth manageth? The top banana(pants)? Pazuzu?

    2. Medium Sized Manager*

      I had a manager who would do the opposite: everybody was “colleague” because referencing that somebody reported to you was gauche. Still unlearning a lot of the weird things he taught me.

      1. WavyGravy*

        Yes, same thing happened to me – I was not allowed to call my boss, my boss because “that would sound like he was in charge of me, but we’re friends.” We were not friends. He was, in fact, very much in charge of my work.

          1. MigraineMonth*

            Hmm, I come from a background that de-emphasizes hierarchy, so I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, it’s silly to pretend that my manager isn’t my manager; we’re not friends, we’re not coworkers, they manage my work and I do the work they assign me.

            On the other hand, if I had to call my manager by a special title/honorific (Doctor, Your Honor, etc) or constantly defer to them, I think that would negatively impact our ability to work together. A lot of lives are lost every year because highly-respected people such as surgeons and airplane pilots mess up and no one challenges them.

            1. Medium Sized Manager*

              Absolutely! Managers should be careful in using discretion and not abusing it, but this would even occur when I asked how to write things for HR to review so I could place an employee on a PIP.

      3. noncommittal pseudonym*

        I see we have the same former boss. She would insist upon calling everyone a colleague, but her concern about avoiding hierarchies did not extend to treating everyone collegially.

        2. whingedrinking*

          I was reading some stuff about the HBO series Chernobyl and how the writers struggled with the way the characters would address each other, because Russian and Ukrainian naming conventions are often confusing to English speakers. Consultants said well, if that was too much trouble, it *was* the USSR – people in a professional context would absolutely be referring to each other as “comrade” all over the place. The showrunners said that was even worse for a serious drama, since Americans were used to thinking of that as a hilarious joke and not something people actually did.

    3. Keyboard Cowboy*

      I had an intern once who was similarly very offended that a project lead referred to “my developers”. I had to talk her down from that one. It’s the same – I’m not sure what you’re supposed to call them instead to differentiate them from the ones you don’t work with!

      1. Hlao-roo*

        Obviously the project lead missed the memo on the un-offensive, non-possessive phrase “the developers who are working on the project I am leading.” (/joke)

      2. Smurfette*

        i had a similar response from a colleague when I referred to “my team”. I was asked (aggressively) whether the team reported to me. I explained that they were “the team I worked with” as opposed to “the team(s) I didn’t work with”. FFS.

        1. Putting the Dys in Dysfunction*

          Someone in my organization but nowhere near my part of it sends (numerous and excessive) emails out to hundreds of people, starting the body with “Team”.

          It just rubs me the wrong way, I’m not on any Team of hers, but I suppose this could be BEC.

        2. AnonORama*

          I admit I get annoyed when a former coworker introduces me to people by saying I was “her” grants manager when we worked at the same org. We were 100% on the same level, reporting to the same boss. But, that’s really just a cherry on the top of her condescension sundae, so I’m probably reacting more to her as a whole.

          1. Impending Heat Dome*

            Hmm…well, I definitely refer to the people on my team as “my project manager” or “my writer” even though we’re all peers, but tone counts for a lot. It would definitely bug me if someone was using that wording to insinuate that they had authority over me.

      3. Anonymous Member of Mike's Team*

        I am not an intern but I actually find this construct mildly offensive in some contexts. Though mostly when it is used in the third person, e.g. a VP referring to a team as “‘s Team” because VP isn’t bothering to learn the existing name of the team so he is just using the name of the only person he interacts with and has bothered to learn the name of.

        1. Anonymous Member of Mike's Team*

          “‘s Team” was supposed to be “Mike’s Team” but it got eaten because I tried to use symbols

          1. Nomic*

            And now in the company directory the team is referred to as “S Team” because you messed up that one email six years ago and no one wanted to correct the VP.

            1. Anonymous Tech Writer*

              So help me the next time we spin off a new scrum team and have to generate a name, I’m going to suggest this.

      4. amoeba*

        Hmmm, at least I find that one a bit weirder than “my boss” – probably because “boss” is a term that actually relates to a relationship between people, so yes, you’re not just “a boss”, you actually need to be “somebody’s boss” for it to make sense grammatically. While “developers”… isn’t (they’re not developing you) and yeah, it does feel a bit more possessive to me because of that! Not enough to complain about, but definitely different from “my manager”.

      2. Chick-n-Boots*

        Ha! You get a cookie. Or perhaps a s’more (with Stay Puft marshmallows, of course) would be more appropriate.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        I deal with a version of this when talking about the families who use our services. Some of our leadership doesn’t like “your” in reference to a child. (Tbf, it can be inaccurate sometimes, as the caregivers might not be parents.) We end up with some very awkward phrasing.

        1. linger*

          And yet the child would be “their responsibility”.
          (PSA: the English ‘genitive’/’possessive’ is extremely poorly named. It covers (and has for centuries covered) a wide range of relationships of association, not merely literal possession. See for example Christine Johansson (1995) The Relativizers Whose and Of Which in Present-Day English for a very long list of the actual functions of whose, with examples. Thank you and goodnight.)

          1. Susan Calvin*

            Sorry, you have activated my trap card – badly, or at least confusing-to-the-layperson named linguistic concepts are the bane of my existence.
            To add my (least) favorite example; Gender – already a hotbed of Bad Takes, additionally complicated by the fact that English only has the tiniest vestiges of it left, and you have me holding onto my patience with both hands explaining the difference between gender identity and noun classes.

            (not exactly a citation for the above, but if we’re including lit recs, “Women, fire and dangerous things” by George Lakoff is a relevant classic)

      2. Laura*

        I knew someone who didn’t like saying “my boyfriend” because she thought it sounded possessive. I was like, ummm, sure.

      3. whingedrinking*

        I’ve actually encountered someone who tried to argue that if Alice moves in with Bob, and Bob already owns a bed, Alice has no claim to call it “her” bed or even “their” bed, even if she sleeps in it every night for the rest of her life. It’s Bob’s bed forever and ever, amen.
        (And yes, there was absolutely some sexist/AFAB-phobic motivated reasoning going on related to getting period blood on linens.)

    7. Ariaflame*

      Shame it wasn’t somewhere Gaelic speaking, you could refer to her as “a’ mhanaidsear agam” (the manager at me) since Scottish Gaelic at least has different possessives for things that are important to you, as opposed to things temporarily with you or at you. Oddly clothes appear to be things that are considered important, as are country, language and children. Wife is, but husbands apparently are considered temporary (an duine agam instead of mo dhuine).

      But yes it’s silly because in English we use the possessive pronoun for relational things without necessarily implying ownership. Did she at least refrain from talking about the employees as her employees or her staff?

      1. Cyndi*

        I’m a fairly new Gaelic learner and I had NO idea what the distinction was between these constructions, so this has actually been very helpful! Tapadh leibh.

      2. Irish Teacher.*

        I’m now trying to think how it’s said in Irish, given the similarities between the two languages.

        And I find it amusing that wives are forever but husbands temporary.

        1. Quill*

          I am fascinated to know if that’s a “these words sound better together in this specific instance” thing or a fossilized meme still present in the language.

        2. ferrina*

          I’m really interested in what led to the wives being forever but husbands being temporary. Did women have longer lifespans and go through more husbands? Was it to encourage men to stay with their wives and kids, whereas if the man left the woman was encouraged to remarry? I need a historic anthropologist!

      3. Cyborg Llama Horde*

        I assume that clothes being important is a relic of a time when clothes were much more valuable, but now I’m curious and would love to see an analysis of this.

      4. kendall^2*

        About the clothing, I’d guess that it’s an old enough construction that for most people, clothing was among the most expensive things to own, especially if not upper class. It takes a lot of work to shear sheep, card, spin, weave/knit wool, then cut and sew, etc., and linen/flax are complicated, too.

        1. Enai*

          I recently found a paper about the recreation of a woolen tunic from around 800 AD that had been found frozen in Norway. They stopped hand spinning right quick (much, much too time consuming), but did all the other steps the same way they would’ve been done back then. If everyone had gotten minimum wage, the garment would’ve cost something in the low-middle five figures. Time for hand spinning was extrapolated, of course. The ballpark figure is extremely impressive.

          2. goddessoftransitory*

            I’m reading Emily Wilson’s translations of The Odessey and The Iliad right now, and once you start thinking about the sheer amount of labor involved in textiles of any kind, you can see why the emphasis on spinning and weaving for any female character is so stressed; it was a universally understood shorthand for “valuable asset.” Even Helen’s worth was extrapolated from her skill with wool as much as for her beauty.

    8. anytime anywhere*

      At my current employer, we’re not allowed to talk about “my” anything. It’s not “my team” because they don’t work for ME, they work for the organization. It’s not “my project” because it belongs to the organization, not me personally. (Insert eye rolls.)

      1. Rex Libris*

        I had a former supervisor who went off on this every time someone described an achievement or project as “theirs”. I later found out it was because they wanted to take personal credit for everything the team did with their own supervisor, and didn’t want anything to contradict that.

      3. hereforthecomments*

        At a former workplace, I was told that thinking of our customers/clients as “people” was wrong. The organization’s policy was to think of them as paying customers (they didn’t pay, it was grant-funded, not that it mattered to me). Believe it or not, I always do better work thinking of the people I interact with as “people!”

        1. But what to call me?*

          Leadership in the (public) school district I used to work for liked to call parents and students our “customers” as if that would motivate us to provide better service – as opposed to, you know, the desire to educate young minds and start kids off on a path to a better life that motivated most of us to get into that field and put up with everything we put up with in the first place.

          1. goddessoftransitory*

            Have you read Jane Smiley’s novel Moo? It’s got a character in it that does exactly this; he’s the hotshot economics professor at the big midwestern college the story takes place in.

          2. AnonForThis*

            I work in Medicare-funded services, but instead of “patient” we refer to the people we serve as “clients” or “customers”. Okay, whatever, we can use retail terms. Except every couple of years someone tries to get us to call the people we serve “consumers”, like they’re using up the services, which just seems like the worst possible take on that relationship.

        2. Zweisatz*

          A hospital in our city started using this company line as well and I have to concur. I sure feel it’s more beneficial to think of “patients” or “people” as opposed to “customers” :/

          (To be clear I’m not in the US)

          1. ThatOtherClare*

            Is that the reason my local the hospital nearest to me has started doing this? I just assumed the highest levels of management had decided to fully dehumanise the patients to reduce the guilt for all the poor treatment outcomes due to cost cutting and understaffing. Nobody feels compassionate towards customers. They’re at best neutral and often annoying.

            (For all the people with no humour who seem to be roving the comment sections lately, those last two sentences were intentional hyperbole for humour and impact, and I am fully aware that plenty of medical staff and salespeople feel very kindly towards their patients/customers.)

            1. Zweisatz*

              It seems it’s one of these trends that go through the business world and everybody has to hop on with no rhyme or reason – especially as I believe this hospital is mostly publicly funded.

            2. Chirpy*

              Meanwhile, in retail, corporate wants us to call customers our “neighbors” instead….

              …I mean, could be true, but neighbors and customers are very different things…

        3. JustaTech*

          When I volunteered at a soup kitchen/meal delivery place I liked that we referred to the people who got our food as our “clients” – it seemed somehow fancy and nicer than “patients” (since while these people all had a chronic medical condition we weren’t medical providers).
          Probably a hold over from all of those years of listening to my dad talk about his consulting clients.

      4. Michelle Smith*

        I am ON the team, therefore it *is* my team, as opposed to like the accounting and communications teams that I’m very much not a part of. Just like when I take an Uber to work, my description of what “my Uber driver” said does not imply that I somehow own Uber, the driver, or the car. So silly!!

      5. Worldwalker*

        So you can’t say “my family” because you don’t own them? Uncle Fred isn’t “my uncle”? And you can’t do something “after my break”?

        Is it at least your banana they made those pants out of?

        Note: the English “my” has numerous meanings, and only one of those indicates possession.

    9. ABC*

      Oh wow, this has come up in the comments section here! Although I think it’s usually the other way around: commenters who are deeply opposed to their managers’ use of “my direct report” or “my staff” because of the implication of ownership.

      Definitely odd.

      1. Irish Teacher.*

        In Ireland, there is often annoyance at teachers (especially primary school teachers who work with the same class all day) referring to special needs assistants as “my SNA,” meaning the one who works with a student or students in my class, but there is some logic to that as it implies the SNA is working for the teacher rather than being a colleague.

        1. Nightengale*

          I try to be mindful of this in my office (no problem saying my office) as a doctor talking about nursing staff. I try not to say “my nurse” because I do feel that implies more of a hierarchy than coworking relationship, even though yes the physician gives orders that nurses follow. I will say “our nurse in [specialty name]” or “the nurse for our practice.”

          2. amoeba*

            I feel like there’s a difference. Like, “manager”, “coworker”, “colleague” are all words that describe relationships between people – you can’t just be a “colleague”, you’re always *somebody’s* colleague! “My nurse” does read differently to me, especially not coming from the patient (where it again signifies a relationship, I guess?), but from their boss/somebody higher in the hierarchy…

      2. StarTrek Nutcase*

        I find this so ridiculous and people who do this have other deep-seated issues. I no more “own” my manager than I own my neighbor or I own my country. People who pretend “my” only implies ownership are deliberately ignoring “my” can imply association. But I recognize people in my world can be petty as f*ck.

      3. StarTrek Nutcase*

        Weird because those people are to ignorant or have other deep-seated issues that make them believe “my” only indicates possession and not also can imply association with. But many people in my world are petty AF.

    11. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      whoa….wait, the manager thought being called the manager implied that her position was lesser? That is some gold medal worthy mental gymnastics.

    12. Cat Tree*

      What about when I talk about “my child”, “my brother”, or “my city/state/country”? Wow that is really ridiculous.

      1. ecnaseener*

        “The offspring,” “that guy who was born of the same parents as me,” “the city which I call home, just not MY home don’t be absurd…”

      2. Seashell*

        I have seen people nitpick about someone saying, “my child” instead of “our child” in reference to their spouse/partner. Both are correct, really.

        1. Jay (no, the other one)*

          I knew a man who said things like “my wife is picking up my child.” His wife was the mother of the child in question. It was never “our child” and he rarely used the kid’s name. It was very odd and gave me serious controlling/possessive vibes.

          If someone says “I’m picking up my kid” that’s entirely different. Referencing the child’s other parent and still using “my” was disturbing.

          2. Dicey Tillerman*

            My dad and stepmom have been married 22 years and I can count on one hand the number of times she has referred to me as “our daughter.” (Three, for those playing along at home.)

    13. AnonInCanada*

      Wow, that’s a new level of ridiculous. So how did you have to refer to her? “Queen Banana of Bananapants Inc.?”

    14. Miss Muffett*

      There was a letter here on AAM about that once too, and Alison was like, this is a completely normal construct in English. No one thinks you actually own the person/team/whatever! What a strange hill to die on (of course I’m sure she’d argue she isn’t ACTUALLY dying and it’s Nebraska and there are no actual hills…..) :)

        1. Goldfeesh*

          Hey, are you trying to take possession of Iowa’s Loess Hills??? You guys have Omaha, not Omaha Bluffs. ;)

          (I know Nebraska has some, this comment thread is making me feel possessive of my hills, ha ha).

    16. RussianInTexas*

      People in this comment section get incensed sometimes when someone uses “my company” when they aren’t owners but employees. Because it’s promotes capitalism or something!
      Or, I don’t know, it’s faster than “the company I work for”.

      1. Worldwalker*

        I’m sure it’s happened, but I can’t recall anyone seriously getting upset about someone saying “my company has a ridiculous PTO policy” or something.

    17. Rock Prof*

      This reminds me that I’ve known a couple people who really hated terms like “my boyfriend” or “my wife” or even “my sister” because it implied ownership. Like, yes, relationships and marriage have historically been and can still be unbalanced but like, possessives don’t just mean ownership they can also just be relational! I can say “my hometown” and no one is going to think that I own it!

      2. Loreli*

        My dad (oops, sorry) would refer to my mother as “the wife” when mentioning her to others in conversation. I think this is an old construct -Dad was a WWII veteran.

      3. Worldwalker*

        So “my father” means you own your father?

        Yeah, no, “my” has multiple related meanings, and only one of them involves possession.

        My mother, my teacher, my favorite singer, , my doctor, my friend…nobody is implying that they own any of those.

      4. Distracted Procrastinator*

        I think this mentality is where the issues with work language are coming from. People going too far with personal relationship language and applying the same mentality to work relationships.

    18. not nice, don't care*

      On the flipside, managers who refer to ‘my’ team/employee in a very ownerish way are super common.

    19. I Have RBF*

      She said it was extremely disrespectful for someone to describe her as “my manager” because the possessive language implied the employee somehow owned her.

      WTF? Was English not her native language, or was she just… weird. Because “my” can mean “in relation to me”, not just “a thing I own”. Sheesh. Or does she think she owns her family – “my mother”?

    20. Worldwalker*

      I like playing around with conlangs. In the one I keep tinkering with, I have five different words for “my” depending on whether it means a possession (my hat), a part of yourself (my head), a relationship (my mother), an abstract thing that can change (my citizenship) or something internal (my opinion).

      Unfortunately for this person, it also has different forms of speech depending on relationship, and she’d probably get upset that she wasn’t being addressed in the mode used by the lowest social level addressing the emperor.

      I really do need to write up more details for that some day. It’s a very complicated, but quite logical, language. Except when it isn’t.

      1. linger*

        The status marking can’t be much more complicated than actual examples such as Javanese (which uses at least three distinct levels of vocabulary, plus a range of additional grammatical markers, to signal relative status of speaker and addressee).
        The thing is, when language systems get too cumbersome, societies find a workaround.
        Javanese was so inflexibly impractical that it has now been almost entirely replaced, in most practical contexts, and with a palpable sense of relief, by Bahasa Indonesia.

      2. linger*

        Oh, one classic fictional example is Jack Vance’s short story “The Moon Moth”, set in a society in which all language must be in a style appropriate to the addressee’s strakh (which roughly corresponds to mana), and with appropriate musical accompaniment on the appropriate instrument, and with the speaker wearing a mask signalling their own personality and status. Omitting or fumbling any of those elements results in communication failure: the speaker will be ignored or outright shunned.

    21. allathian*

      There’s an Agatha Christie novel (Sparkling Cyanide) where the plot partly turns around the different levels of possession indicated by the possessive case.

      My ear is an integral part of me that can’t be removed short of surgery or a severe accident. My watch is the watch I habitually wear although I can lend it to someone else at a pinch. My glass is the glass that I’ve recently used.

  10. Rabbitgal*

    I’ve spoken about it in an open thread before, but I once got pulled aside to be told that I couldn’t call my significant others my partners because someone might get offended. I noticed later that only I & one other visibly queer people were told that. I ended up making a one-page thesaurus of weird titles to call my partners instead. Nobody said anything about it until a year later in a 1:1 with my supervisor. By that point, the person who told me not to say “partner” was gone. I figured it was safe to ask by then. Turns out that the person who gave me the command misinterpreted what the grandboss asked her to relay.

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Can you tell us what the intended message was?
      I’m asking because I’m nosy as hell.
      I am wondering if it was harmless, like “partner sounds like you are talking about a company partner, can you find a way not to sound like that?” because you don’t sound like it turned out to be homophobic.
      And my petty spirit bows before you.

      2. Rabbitgal*

        The message sounded homophobic when it was relayed to me. It was supposed to be more like “keep personal life talk to a minimum in company-wide meetings.” Which also wasn’t great because I felt singled out while not being an offender.

        1. Ama*

          Yeah … I think there still was some homophobia going on there, if only you and the other visibly queer people were being asked to keep your personal life talk to a minimum. Maybe not as overtly awful as “don’t say partner” but still not great.

    2. Database Developer Dude*

      Do you think it might have been because you have more than one? Polyamory does still carry a stigma in the corporate world…undeserved, but it’s there.

      1. Rabbitgal*

        In retrospect, yes, just because the person who told me not to call them partners knew about it outside of work. I think it had a touch of homophobia, though. It only became a big deal once she realized that I was also in a same-sex relationship.

    3. Ostrich Herder*

      Perfect malicious compliance. I would love to hear some of the alternative titles your partners had in the meantime!

      1. linger*

        Selecting for gender- and number- and officially-recognised-relationship-status-nonspecific options not including explicit expletives, my thesaurus suggests:
        bedmates, co-conspirators, collaborators, comrades, concubines, consorts, significant others, confederates, helpmates, life-partners, lovers, mates, (main?) squeezes, sidekicks.
        Which seems enough to keep ringing the changes at work for a few weeks. But more inventive options must also be available.

    4. Twix*

      See, I’ve always used “partner” at work because “girlfriend” has connotations that don’t really fit a relationship where you’ve lived together for 10 years, habe completely shared finances, etc but weren’t married.

      Although I’ve worked at my current job for 11 years and in that time I got married to my female partner, got divorced, and started dating my current male partner. My team occasionally has social events that peoples’ partners are invited to, and my boss always used to remind me that “don’t forget, your girlfriend/fiancee/wife is invited too!” Now it’s “don’t forget, your friend is invited too!” (Although to be clear, he’s a great guy and I like him a lot. He just clearly grew up in a time when same-sex relationships were Not Discussed.)

      1. AnotherOne*

        my grandmother has been known to refer to everyone in the family’s SOs as their friend. it started when a family friend’s son started dating his now husband, i’m pretty sure. but she sorta kept it going to matter anyone’s gender or how serious the relationship was.

        my cousin and her now husband were just shy of engaged and my grandmother still referred to him as cousin’s friend.

        it was hilarious.

      2. Seeking Second Childhood*

        My Greatest Generation mother referred to the characters on Golden Girls as “girlfriends”.

        She used the same word for my college friends that I got together with regularly when we worked in the same city.

        This led to my mother in law telling my teen I was bisexual. I laughed so hard… not offended, just amused at how words change.

    5. Emily Byrd Starr*

      Before same-sex marriage was legal, it was common in the part of the world where I live for gay people to refer to their partner as “my partner,” but not for straight people. This was because they thought that “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” was an odd way to describe someone who they’d committed to love and live with for the rest of their lives; and they didn’t feel right saying “husband” or “wife” because it wasn’t legally recognized. Sometimes, a straight person who was in a similar long-term relationship but wasn’t married would also refer to their partner, but for the most part, when someone talked about their partner, you assumed they were gay.

      1. not nice, don't care*

        Been married to my wife for a decade now. I still use partner instead of wife, because having survived two opposite-sex marriages, ‘wife’ feels oppressively heteronormative to me now.

        1. L*

          Depending on my audience and how much they know about my personal life, I sometimes refer to my husband as my partner because I’m worried that otherwise someone will mistake me for straight

      2. AnonForThis*

        I live with someone who I sometimes refer to as my platonic partner because “roommate” is too casual and “zucchini” is not in the common parlance.

  11. Jane Bingley*

    I used to work for a company where employees accrued vacation days based on months worked… for the following year. What this meant was that your first year, you had zero vacation, absolutely no way to take time off – which sucked for employees. It also meant that anytime an employee left or retired, the company had to pay them out for their unused vacation, which was at least a year’s worth plus whatever they hadn’t used in the current calendar year. So it was a huge financial liability for the company and a headache for the accounting team.

    No one liked it – not employees, not managers, not accounting. But the CEO insisted it was the only reasonable vacation policy, and would not hear anything to the contrary.

    1. soontoberetired*

      oh my. That was our policy for a long time. I told the HR person after I started working (and never thought to ask what the PTO policy was before I was hired) that wasn’t very competitive based on what I knew of the the area. 5 years later the finally changed it when they could not hire experienced people. I started right at the cut off point so I had 12 months of no vacation time. It sucked.

    2. amoeba*

      Was she Belgian, by any chance? Apparently that’s how it’s done there… (The jobs I applies to had extra holiday offered by the company and other ways around that so you wouldn’t actually be without time off for the whole year. Still, pretty wild, especially in Europe!)

      1. She is flemish first Belgian secon*

        I am not sure what you have heard about Belgium, but…. I am Belgian and I can tell you that it does not work like that in Belgium or for the rest of Europe. The standard amount of paid holiday is 25+ in most good companies. Also, I have lived in the UK for nearly 40 years and, yes, in some companies you need to “accrue” holiday but not for the following year. It is more of an accounting tool than a real accrual. A good empl0yer will let you take your annual allowance in the first year (legal minimum in the UK is 20 days/year = 4 full weeks) for ANY employee, no matter the length of your tenure at the employer. If you leave and have taken more than your “accrued” amount of holiday, the employer deducts is from your last salary payment and some employers do not even do that!

        1. also Belgian*

          I am belgian and it does work like that. When you leave a Company to go to another, your previous company has to pay your vacation days that you use the next year (usually all at once instead of spread out when you’re using them).
          There’s a special holiday rule for people under 26 who just enter the workforce (jongerenverlof) where half of your second year holidays are payed as the holidays off the first year and the second year also.
          In practice you have your regular holidays each year (if you start work too old for jongerenverlof, you take the holidays unpaid the first year) but they are only paid out by the previous year.

          1. also Belgian*

            How many paid holidays you have in any year depends on how much you worked the year before.
            It’s just not company specific : if I change jobs but I worked full-time previous year, I get the full amount this year. If I work full time now but only half time last year, I only get half paid holidays this year.

          2. MassMatt*

            Wow, this is weird–so no one gets holiday time in their first year, unless they are basically “borrowing” from their next year? And holidays continue to be paid by the former after someone leaves them?

            Is the former employer actually approving as well as paying for holiday time for these people? Do I have to get in touch with last year’s employer as well as this year’s to take time off? Am I getting checks from two employers?

            Or is the 1st employer simply paying out unused/accrued vacation time in a check when I leave them and it’s up to me to tell the 2nd employer I’m not working the first week of April?

        2. Name Required**

          I work in Belgium and this is exactly how it works. You start a new job with zero days if you haven’t worked in Belgium before, because you haven’t accrued any previous year leave. Also, 25 days is not the norm, 20 is. I have to wait till 2025 to get any proper time off; it’s an insane system.

        3. amoeba*

          I mean, I’m from Germany and have that information straight from HR at jobs I was a finalist for in Belgium, so as also stated below, unfortunately it’s actually true…

          However, I need to add that that company actually had an extremely attractive overall package! They offered 25 days (accrued by said system), but an additional 12 from working 40 h but having only something like 37.5 actually in the contract – so overall, you had 37 days off after the first year (and yeah, I believe they offered either additional unpaid or borrowing from the next year for that, not sure anymore). So I wouldn’t have minded at all, but still found that a wild system.

      2. Emmy Noether*

        France, also. It’s not quite that bad, because part of your “holidays” are actually accrued overtime: most white collar jobs you work 40 hours/week instead of the “base” 35, and those 5 hours accrue immediately. Also, the year for vacation accumulation, and only that, starts in May. Don’t ask, it’s a historically grown system.

    3. Strict Extension*

      I worked somewhere with a similar policy in that there was no PTO for the first year you worked there, then at the end of your first year, you suddenly had five personal days and five vacation days, all front-loaded. You stuck with five personal days a year, but at the start of year three, you were issued ten vacation days. Each year after that, you got one additional vacation day until you maxed out at fifteen days. Everyone was on a separate PTO calendar based on their individual start date. All time was use-it-or-lose-it. There was no payout for exiting employees (which is legal in my state). There were also all sorts of unwritten rules, like what counted as a personal day versus a vacation day, and the fact that officially we couldn’t ask for planned PTO in the fourth quarter, but there were actually instances of doing that that were just fine.

      1. SemiAnon*

        My current job had that when I started, except you got the personal days and sick leave from the beginning, and a much higher max out. But postdocs are 2-4 years, so most new employees would never stay long enough to get decent vacation.

        The government rules were amended recently, so it’s now more reasonable; you get a pro-rated amount to start, and the starting amount is larger.

    4. Elle Woods*

      And I thought the place I worked where you didn’t get any PTO until you’d worked a full six calendar months was bad!

      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        My only experience was three months. And I thought THAT was crazy even though the first three months blew by.

        1. Potoooooooo*

          I had one where you got a prorated number of days based on when you joined the company in the first year, but you couldn’t use any of them for the either first 2 or 3 months. Everybody got a fresh allotment on January 1 of each year.

          I joined the company just in time to have Christmas off, but with almost no flexibility in the timing of when I could use my days for that year.

        2. Mad Harry Crewe*

          My old company, you started accruing from day one, but you couldn’t take PTO until you’d been there 3 months. Unpaid days for doctor’s visits or personal emergencies were fine, though – they mostly just didn’t want folks taking a vacation right after starting. And yeah, 3 months goes by pretty fast.

      2. Space Coyote*

        A friend of mine works for a company that until just last year (when it was finally sold to reasonable people) mandated that no employee had any PTO, at all, until they had worked for the company for FIVE YEARS.

        Then they received 16 whole hours.

        I have no idea how they found anyone willing to work for them. The policy didn’t apply to the owners or upper management, of course…

    5. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Well, yeah, because…
      the company got away with you working a year without vacation.
      …wait. WAIT.
      So you start Jan 1 and your last day is December 30…the company PAYS you for days you accrued all year but weren’t allowed to use, even as you accrued them.
      Ba nan a PANTS

    6. Miss Chanandler Bong*

      I’m an accountant and I’m struggling to wrap my brain around how we’d even account for that. That’s just…awful.

    7. Mill Miker*

      I worked at a place like this once too, combined with strict hours, lots of unpaid overtime, and no way to bank hours. If you worked Monday 8:30am until Tuesday 7am, went home, got showered, and came back at 8:45am, you’d be in trouble because you were AWOL for 15 minutes, and (in your first year) didn’t have any leave time to pull from. You’re only option was to beg the CEO for forgiveness so they could put an entry in you timesheet for that slot (otherwise “they couldn’t process payroll, because of the gap”). This was a completely salaried position where your pay was always the same regardless.

      I once “missed” 16 hours over the corse of a month, because I was dealing with a family emergency. (ie. I worked the time, but not at the right times), and they very generously let me borrow 2 days vacation from next year, instead of docking my pay.

      1. Observer*

        I once “missed” 16 hours over the corse of a month, because I was dealing with a family emergency. (ie. I worked the time, but not at the right times), and they very generously let me borrow 2 days vacation from next year, instead of docking my pay

        If you were correctly classified, it would be illegal to dock your pay.

        1. Mill Miker*

          Oh, I was well aware of that at the time. This job had prompted me to become very well acquainted with the labour laws for my province, including calling a hotline an double-checking a few things.

          They actually gave me the choice of the docked pay or borrowing vacation time. Since they made the offer in an interrogation-style setup, I felt it unwise to quibble on the legality of the one option, and just picked the other. Another company was trying to poach me anyway, so I didn’t actually need any of that accrued vacation.

    10. Rebmil59*

      was it Hallmark corporate in the 1990s? I started in May of year 1, had to work entire year 2 before I could take vacation in year 3. this from a company that touted itself as a employee – friendly place to work.

    11. Martin Blackwood*

      I don’t fully understand my company’s PTO policy. we accrue from July to June, but the two weeks have to be taken according to the calendar year, i.e. January to December. Theres two time codes in our system. It just feels unnecessarily complicated.

    12. Eastern Seabored*

      My job is similar to that. You don’t get your vacation time until the next fiscal year and it’s prorated based on when you start.

  12. Carlie*

    I used to work at an org where many staff attended conferences and took display materials for booths etc. There were a few assistants and we were responsible for packing up materials such as books, leaflets and so forth for shipping to the conference venue. One senior staff member got so annoyed by the sound of scotch tape that we were no longer allowed to pack materials within anyone’s hearing distance, and had to carry all the stuff to send (books are heavy!), packing boxes, tape, etc etc over to the other building, usually requiring multiple trips and making the whole process take three times as long.

    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      The Prince and the Packing Material. A Modern Fairy Tale.
      There once was a prince who, through a series of unfortunate events, found himself disheveled and discombobulated. He wandered the city streets looking for a place to rest.
      He appeared at the offices of Dewey, Screwem and Howe.
      The staff brought him in, gave him styrofoam cup of coffee with powdered creamer. Our wayward hero, looked askance at the lukewarm largess but attempted to imbibe because, despite his appearance, he was a gentleman.
      Suddenly, his body shuddered. The now cold coffee flew from his hand and he bellowed, “what is that infernal sound?”
      A clerk peered meekly over a cube wall and explained he was packing marketing materials to mail for a conference.
      ‘Well, do it somewhere else,” the now red and righteous stranger shouted.
      That noise brought the partners from their offices.
      “What is the ruckus?” asked Dewey, always the first to speak.
      The office manager explained that they offered aid and comfort to a poor soul wandering the streets, but when he heard the packing tape unroll he became distraught.
      Dewey, Screwem and Howe looked at each other and then at the man.
      “You, sir,” said Dewey, “must be an executive. Come, take this office. And you, you with the tape, to the basement with you!”

    2. Desk Dragon*

      Yipe. I find the sound of pulling packing tape off a roll more painful than fingernails-on-a-blackboard, but as long as people aren’t constantly doing it directly beside me I would just put on headphones or something. And if I *were* right next to the packing station, I would request to move myself rather than making everyone else deal with my issue.

      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Exactly! I don’t hate the sound myself but I would definitely be distracted if it were happening repeatedly nearby. Hence…you know…earplugs.

    4. I Laugh at Inappropriate times*

      If you’re allowed a choice of shipping materials, Duck EZ Start tape is much, much quieter than standard packing tape. It costs a little more, but perhaps it would be considered a justifiable expense.

    5. Glitsy gus*

      oh no. I had one office where we were doing enough of that that we.moved all the shipping supplies to a room with a big table and a door so the sound was minimal, but having to take ALL of it to another building each time?! Good lord.

  13. ChaoticNeutral*

    I worked at a nice cafe in a rich people vacation/retirement town in undergrad. It wasn’t a policy per se but my manager (a real a-hole) was super strict about the music we played, but he ALSO refused to just preemptively approve a playlist/genre (like classical). So it was a real whack-a-mole of what music was deemed “acceptable” for our clientele and their delicate ears. The one that really stands out is Rumors (Fleetwood Mac) was acceptable but the specific song “The Chain” was not. No problem, I just won’t play Rumors at all. No, he likes Rumors, so I should play it, but just skip “The Chain” when it comes on. But what if I’m in the middle of serving a customer? Well, make sure you time it so you are available to change the song when it comes on.

      2. Charlotte Lucas*

        It’s one of my least favorite on the album. But not worthy of a ban. (And my least favorite song on a great album is hardly a condemnation.)

        Maybe it’s like my father’s absolute hatred of Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration.” He’s fine with all their other songs but used to leave the room when it played.

        1. allathian*

          Funny, it’s probably my favorite of theirs and certainly the only one I can identify off the bat as theirs.

    2. Ama*

      Was it the use of “damn” in the lyrics of the second verse? I can’t think of anything else about that song that wouldn’t apply to the rest of the album.

    3. Ostrich Herder*

      And I’m sure that, if you had been caught delaying service so you could skip The Chain, you’d have been told not to leave customers waiting!

    4. greenlily*

      Did he have a problem with “The Chain” specifically because of the part that goes “damn your love, damn your lies”? Because that almost, almost makes sense. It is sung very angrily, and retirement-aged people who had a thing about salty language might think it was being used as a swear rather than in the sense of “condemnation”.

  14. urguncle*

    – PepsiCo wanted us, the employees of a small amusement park, not to drink water from anything except their Pepsi cups.
    – Team members could not have the largest size cups since we were drinking water and water was only to be consumed in the smallest 6 oz cups.
    – Cups could not show signs of re-use.
    – Team members could not get their own water.
    – Managers can’t spend all day getting water for people.

    July 4th being well into the 90s and sunny was a turning point.

      1. urguncle*

        I personally vomited from heat exhaustion on the fareway after 3 hours of no water or bathroom or shade. At least one other person got a worker’s comp wee-oo wagon ride.

      1. urguncle*

        We weren’t even allowed to have soda that we bought at our stations, either! They wanted the magic of Disney with the pay and prestige of a 19th century traveling carnival. Magically, staff should not be caught eating, drinking or suffering.

    3. AnonInCanada*

      This has OHS violation written all over it. All the more reason why the only carbonated (well, not carbonated by the process of combining water, barley, yeast and hops, anyway :=P) beverages I consume come from the Coca-Cola company.

      1. Mad Harry Crewe*

        I mean…. Coca-Cola has done some truly horrific things in this world. I don’t know that that’s something to be proud of.

        1. Enai*

          It does appear as if PepsiCo doesn’t fund actual death squads in Colombia, unlike Coca Cola. I’m surprised, I thought it was just a thing US companies did (see also: Dole).

          1. allathian*

            Yeah, and PepsiCo is still active in Russia, as is Mondelez. As a consequence, a number of stores here have stopped stocking their merchandize and some food franchises have switched to other providers.

    4. NothingIsLittle*

      Oh my gosh, I remember working at McDonalds we couldn’t be visibly drinking in front of customers! I passed out working the window because it was stupid hot and I couldn’t step away from work at all between 12 –1 even to drink water because that was “critical time”

      1. FG*

        Not having beverages at workstations in restaurants is usually a food safety rule. You can get dinged on a health inspection for it.

        1. I'm just here for the cats!*

          Where you are cooking food yes. but not at the window. And I’ve worked in different food service jobs in 2 states and we could have beverages if they were in a lidded container. You just couldnt be drinking over where you were prepping or cooking.

          1. ferrina*

            I don’t know the food codes, but when I worked at a coffee shop we were encouraged to have our own store-made beverages that we would drink from. Theoretically it helped us be better acquainted with the products, and realistically it kept us hydrated and caffeinated. Lids were required though

    5. I'm just here for the cats!*

      If branding was such a big deal pepsi should have provided you all with 32 oz pepsi branded reusable bottles!

    6. doreen*

      Did Pepsi own the park? Otherwise, I don’t see why the park would go along with Pepsi’s demands. The cups don’t seem so unusual to me for people working in a food service location – but I feel like I remember people working at the rides and games at amusement parks having large water bottles years ago.

      1. RegBarclay*

        It’s like all the rules are reasonable in isolation (or at least I can imagine circumstances where they’re reasonable) but together they add up to heat stroke.

        The water in 6 oz cups rule in particular was probably meant for customers, not workers, anyway. Restaurants often put water in smaller/flimsier/obviously different cups. Wouldn’t Pepsi want people thinking the worker is having a lovely refreshing Dr Pepper or Sprite (7Up? I don’t know who owns what) in that 32 oz cup anyway, rather than just water in obvious water cups?

        1. urguncle*

          The reasoning for not allowing anything but their water was that they wanted to make sure we were ONLY drinking water and not filling it up with alcohol.
          It was definitely all like a monstrous Venn diagram of rules that were enacted for different purposes but came together to create heat exhaustion. This place was notoriously bad for labor practices, too. I stopped taking lunches because the rule was 30 unpaid minutes for every 8 hours, so if you asked for a lunch at the start of your 9am shift, they’d give it to you at the very tail end, so you’d be working for 6-7 hours without a break, take your “lunch,” come back for 30-60 minutes and get relieved. If you came for the later shift, they’d have you take your break 30-60 minutes after you got in, and then that was time you’d not get paid if you were sent home early. The whole set-up discouraged taking breaks.

      2. Glad I'm out of the rat race.*

        Oh, there are lots of places that get stuck with that sort of nonsense when they make a vending contract with one of the big two soda makers. To get the best service contracts, the “customers” will have to sign agreements that don’t let any commercial water bottles except “their” brand be seen being used. My children’s school district, which had a contract with Coke for the teacher’s lounges and the athletic games, was not allowed to have any water available for purchase in the cafeteria except Dasani, nor were they allowed to have any other brand of water DONATED BY PARENTS for field trips or celebrations. Yup, every donations list had to have that caveat printed on it, even if it was for a booster parents group for some athletic away game, because of course whether you’re grabbing water to donate to a kindergarten class of 25 or a marching band of 100, you want to do it as inexpensively as available.

        1. Doreen*

          I understand that happens – but I didn’t understand the comment to be saying that they couldn’t have some other commercial brand of bottled water. I understood it to mean that between Pepsi’s rules and the employer’s they could only drink from a 6 oz Pepsi cup and not from an unbranded personal reusable water bottle filled from a water fountain or soda dispenser.

          1. urguncle*

            No bottles were allowed at all because of re-use. I could have bought a bottle of water on Monday, then refilled it with vodka for Tuesday’s shift and they wouldn’t know if it was a fresh bottle of water or not.

    7. Albatross*

      I’m now seeing the upsides of the amusement park I worked at being a single arm of a giant “mediocre mid-size amusement park” company – they had a small army of lawyers who understood local workers’ rights law and what was practically required to keep people working. Water and ice were freely available, either from the employee cafeteria or from the coolers at every station, and we could use any cup or bottle we liked as long as it didn’t have anything offensive on it. I used a one-liter Nalgene, and it was just the right size to cover the two hours between my breaks.

      And so, we did not have anyone pass out or throw up.

    8. Art3mis*

      I worked at a theme park in my teens and we weren’t allowed to drink water AT ALL unless it was a very hot day. Or if it was very cold, we were allowed hot chocolate.

      1. Kay*

        This is just insane!! Where were parents in all this nonsense!? I don’t have kids but if some employer told my kid they couldn’t drink water at work I would seriously lose my $hit.

  15. Medium Sized Manager*

    In college, I worked for a British woman who refused to pay holiday pay on the 4th of July because she didn’t celebrate. She also refused to close on that day (even to make it an unpaid holiday), which resulted in me getting paid to sit alone for several hours because nobody takes their child to an indoor play facility on the 4th of July.

    1. NothappyinNY*

      OMG, years ago I worked for an older British woman who as a child lived through WWII. She would take her small US flag and wave at parade. She said but for the Americans, she would have starved or be speaking German.

      1. Possum'smom*

        I worked with a British war bride ( her description ) who also said that, and made sure her house always had a fresh US flag flying year round

        1. brighton baby*

          As an aside, war bride was/is very much an accepted common term (sometimes including in immigration legislation) for women who married soldiers stationed in the women’s home country and then immigrated to their husband’s country. My grandmother was a british war bride, and her army discharge papers say something like discharged for abandoning her country. /eyeroll

    2. londonedit*

      Isn’t it a national holiday? That’s just bizarre.

      And before we get into a thread of ‘those crazy Brits’ please rest assured that we’re not all completely bananacrackers.

      1. NMitford*

        It’s a federal holiday. What that means, however, is that literally the only people who must by law be paid for the July 4th holiday are those who work for the federal governement. Otherwise, pay for any holidays is at the discretion of the employer and treated as a fringe benefit.

        1. anonymous anteater*

          hence all the retail employees who you see when you run out in the fourth of July, when you grab another packet of hot dogs or whatever, and you tell them ‘what a shame you have to work today’ and they just go :-/

          1. Constance Lloyd*

            Yeah, when I worked food service that whole week was blacked out, meaning nobody was allowed to take any days off and we all worked doubles. On the 4th itself I would arrive at 5am and leave at midnight if I was lucky. Breaks were automatically deducted from out paychecks even though we were never able to take them, but that’s a different story entirely.

        2. KathyG*

          “It’s a federal holiday. What that means, however, is that literally the only people who must by law be paid for the July 4th holiday are those who work for the federal governement. Otherwise, pay for any holidays is at the discretion of the employer and treated as a fringe benefit.”

          That in itself seems full-on bananapants to me. All our federal (” statutory”) and provincial holidays are paid for all full-time and some part-time (if it is otherwise a regular day of work for them); if you have to work on a holiday, you ALSO get paid time-and-a-half for the hours worked.

          Anything less just seems exploitive.

        3. Librarian of Things*

          I worked for a local government for a while. One year, July 4 fell on a Sunday and July 5 was the official Observed Holiday. The local government was closed on July 5, as well as the Federal government. However, we were open on July 4 because, “it wasn’t fair if library staff got off two days when it’s only a single day for the holiday.” Never mind that the rest of the county employees also got off July 4 because it was a Sunday. So, I sat in my utterly empty public library and got to celebrate with a traditional July 5 barbecue . . .

      1. Medium Sized Manager*

        I genuinely don’t remember if we joked that’s why or if she actually said it, so I’m going to say yes.

      2. The Prettiest Curse*

        Maybe she was just mad at Americans jokingly asking her what she was doing to celebrate 4th July. I got that question almost every year while I was living in the US and it was a bit annoying, but nowhere near bad enough to take this type of revenge! Or perhaps she just wanted to save all her fireworks for Guy Fawkes’ Night instead.

        1. Ellis Bell*

          Yeah I’ve had Americans ask me that and I’ve always said we’ve barely heard of the revolutionary war; literally no one cares. I guess I was wrong! How nuts to go against a local holiday like that. If she’s not willing to give you Boxing Day, August Bank holiday, Good Friday and Easter Monday, she’s just cheap and coming up with excuses.

    4. Sitting Pretty*

      I’m sure, being the fair and reasonable person she was, that she gave you paid time off.on all the British holidays.

          1. Ally McBeal*

            I spent Boxing Day 2023 at a bowling alley (in America) that was astonishingly understaffed. Like, there was one person running both the main register AND the entire concessions area. Took me almost an hour to get a pitcher of beer. I don’t understand why they didn’t realize the day after Christmas is when everyone (who doesn’t have to work) gets out of the house and does stuff with their families.

        2. Medium Sized Manager*

          Regret to disappoint you both that we got zero paid holidays (minimum wage & part-time, woohoo), and she was shocked that we college students would want to go home for holidays. I think I worked there a total of three months before finding literally anything else.

            2. linger*

              Tell that to e.g. the UK, many Commonwealth nations such as NZ, or other nations with a monarchy such as Japan (Emperor’s Birthday).

    5. Lucy*

      This is super weird! Like, I kept looking for the bit where you worked here in the UK, because it’s not a holiday here (though you could still take it as one, with your own leave, obviously). But, it was in the US?! How completely bizarre. I can see doing it once, if you totally misunderstood how people were most likely to celebrate (“everyone is off work – there’ll be a queue out the door!”) – but surely you’d learn after that?!

      Maybe she was just the kind of person who couldn’t accept being wrong and liked to double down. I swear we’re not all like that.

      (Also, there’ll be inevitable “ha – you can’t handle losing” comments and like, yeah, possibly! But also, they deliberately refuse to teach us in school about any times Britain lost anything, or wasn’t the good guy (…) in history, so most of us don’t even have enough knowledge to be salty about it. Like, maybe until Hamilton came out anyway!

      1. UKDancer*

        Yeah that’s very weird.

        I mean if you work in the US then you should expect to observe the local holidays not the ones in your country of origin. I mean when I lived in Belgium and worked for a UK company based there we observed Belgian holidays not UK ones. So we had Belgian National Day off and the company shut.

        1. Medium Sized Manager*

          It was also weird because it was the only one she complained about. To my knowledge, Britain doesn’t celebrate holidays like Memorial Day or Thanksgiving, but those were reasonable days to close for a day.

          1. Lucy*

            We have our own Memorial Day (though we call it Remembrance Day – might be the same date, as I don’t know when yours is?), and it’s not a bank holiday, we just have a minute’s silence at 11am. Definitely no Thanksgiving, and even though we know what it is from TV, it’s not one of those that’s kind of caught on and spread.

            The only thing I can think is that when she first moved there, she got a few jokes about losing the war, overreacted (possibly because they don’t teach us anything about it and it was the first she’d heard of it), and decided to get her revenge by treating it as a day of mourning or pettiness or something!

            1. Lucy*

              Also, now I think about it, we have this view of ourselves in Britain as being too self-deprecating for a real culture of patriotism (obviously, that is relatively new – I’m sure we were patriotic in the days of Empire or whatever). I’m sure this is variable depending on the person, area, social group, etc, but the majority of my social group is fairly ashamed of Britain. However, when I lived in France, it was much, much harder to take the critiques. It’s not just the, “I’m allowed to say it!” thing, it’s also that when you’re on your own, surrounded by people who associate you, specifically, with the place they’re criticising, it feels like they’re associating you, specifically with the bad thing, and even blaming you for it. Or at least implying that you and yours are inferiors, to be pitied, for growing up in such a failure of a place. And even though you’d be the first person to raise how bad [issue] is, if you were back home, your brain kind of jumps to, “well, they think *that’s* bad, but they don’t notice their culture’s [bad thing]”

              So, actually, the more I think about it, the more I can see how if you were already a little… Unreasonable and reactionary… It might be possible to hear a couple of jokes and immediately jump to abusing your power over your employees as a punitive measure. Not nice, but I’m starting to understand a mindset that might lead to it..! Like, when when the 9-year-old I was looking after in France came home from school talking about her history lesson and mocking me about Napoleon and his “righteous battles against the English”, I was weak-willed enough to smirk back and ask her who won the Napoleonic wars. I’m guessing it was a similar impulse but worse and harsher and less funny .

              1. Medium Sized Manager*

                You are right on the money – she also paid us inconsistently and would get upset if we questioned it. A perfect example of small things being indicative of larger issues.

            2. Random Bystander*

              Memorial Day in the US is at the end of May (last Monday) and Veterans Day is observed November 11th.

      2. MigraineMonth*

        The US school system follows the same strategy of not teaching any history where the US didn’t win/wasn’t the good guy. Most US citizens don’t know we lost a war to Canada and an increasing number are confused about why we fought the civil war (something something state’s rights).

        WWI is skipped right over, no one remembers Korea and the Vietnam war is too controversial to teach, so we spend a really long time learning about the parts of WWII we were involved in. On Martin Luthor King day we learn that he died for our sins and now racism is over, and that’s it for US history.

        1. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

          When I was in high school, it was the 1970’s and the American history textbooks ended with the end of WW2. They *might* have gone to 1950. Partly they were out of date, and partly when history is too recent, it’s actually politics. But my teacher had been in college during the Viet Nam war, and during the last week of the semester, he taught us the history after where the book stopped, including his own personal experiences of anti-war protests during the 60’s.

        2. Lucy*

          Yes! World War II for us too. And goodness knows, I don’t advocate for disrespecting the dead but the absolute obsession creates a really scary mob mentality around nationalism. I remember a Year 7 child having a mob show up to her house to get her out to “fight” (be beaten up), after sharing a picture of herself with a poppy wreath in her head. Her parents kept her off school, and we had to put extra safeguarding measures in place to keep her safe there. Totally ridiculous – she was 11 and had missed most of primary school. She had no idea of the implications. And, though I was very angry with the mob of kids at the time, really it’s entirely the fault of our selective learning and the culture of self-righteousness it’s created.

          I’m guessing we’re not supposed to get too political on here, so I won’t go on. In any case, I learned about the World Wars about six times before university, and when they decided to teach inequality, we learned about the fight for civil rights in the USA. Including that there was no slavery in Britain (inaccurate even taken as literally as possible). I didn’t really know what the term “British Empire” truly meant until University…

          1. Lucy*

            Poppies have been the symbols for remembrance here since the First World War actually, so my using it as an example kind of shows how the two world wars are sort of squished together in our cultural consciousness! We learned at about 16/17 that soldiers in WWI were betrayed by the powerful into a futile war – but then they rush to reinforce our nationalist impulses by going in really heavy on our righteousness in WWII as I remember it!

      1. Big Pig*

        I have had a US colleague who could not wrap her head around the fact that the British don’t celebrate 4th of July. I had to ask her to think about who she was celebrating Indepence from.

  16. MP*

    Worked at a coffee shop in high school where they called your training period an “internship” and didn’t pay you for your first 25 hours. I highly doubt they’re still pulling that crap but you never know!

    2. ThursdaysGeek*

      Oh, like that motel my friend worked at in college. They got paid less than minimum wage while they were ‘in training’. Once they were fully trained, they got moved to minimum wage (and had their hours cut drastically, so new people in training could be hired).

      1. Affreca*

        My first job pulled this. Actually that was what they did after being caught paying everyone under minimum wage.

      2. Ms. Elaneous*

        There’s a theater in Maryland who did this for years. ( They claimed Rehearsals were “voluntary “).

    3. Ama*

      This is unfortunately still common at small bakeries and cafes, last I heard.

      I really think we should teach a course on basic labor laws in high schools, places like this count on people who are too inexperienced to know they are being cheated. In my first job out of college I was illegally classified as an independent contractor but didn’t know that, and paid more than my share of taxes for two years, since my employer wasn’t paying them.

      1. OtterB*

        Or maybe as a unit in a personal finance course.

        This seems like a good idea. Not only could it help keep people from being cheated, it could also counterbalance the flip side of “can my boss do this? Is this legal?” when the answer is yes, it’s legal. Possibly it’s bad management, possibly it’s pretty normal, but in any case it’s legal.

    4. Hermione Danger*

      This reminds me of the friend who worked at a deli that required him to work 50-70 hours a week but never paid him overtime because they considered a “week” to be however many days he worked to hit 40 hours. So if he worked 40 hours Monday through Thursday, his next “week” began on Friday and ended whenever he hit 40 hours. I kept trying to convince him that he needed to talk with the State Labor Board about it, but I don’t know if he ever did.

  17. Green Goose*

    I had a teaching job that was 9-6, but since we only had one computer for the entire teaching staff I had to come in 30-45 minutes early to print. One semester my last class ended at 5:15 and my free period was 5:15-6. Since I did all my printing in the morning I asked if I could go home at 5:15.
    They said no and said my morning work “didn’t count” so I sat at my desk and stared at the wall for the last 45 minutes simmering in frustration all semester. Also the printer was never free from 5:15-6 so I couldn’t use it at that time anyway.

    1. Artemesia*

      You had a teaching job where you had nothing to do for 45 minutes at the end of the day? Lucky you. I found teaching the hardest job I ever had and I put in hours every evening and weekend preparing material for class or grading student work. It is a never ending job in my experience.

        1. Artemesia*

          Show me a teaching job where long hours are not part of the salary? These are not hourly positions. Coming in early is not ‘unpaid;, it is part of the salaried job. They may or may not be well paid; they almost always these days have amazing benefits compared to other employers. (my oldest friend had an outstanding medical insurance policy in retirement for example, and full dental and health care without co-pays during her working years)

          1. Kevin Finnerty*

            I’m a teacher right now and my pay and benefits both suck. Your friend is being paid retirement benefits based off a contract no doubt negotiated 20+ years ago. Those days are aggressively gone.

      3. Ellis Bell*

        I had the same thought! Mad props to Green Goose for being in the lead of the never ending game. That must have made it extra annoying to sit there if they’d pulled all the rabbits out of the hats already.

  18. Ashley Armbruster*

    I don’t have any weird policies to add, but I could add several regarding “unofficial” policies or culture norms!

    That might be a fun ask the reader question for a future date!

      3. Hlao-roo*

        Office shrimp:

        My office has a “talking shrimp” that we use instead of a “talking stick” in brainstorming meetings where we otherwise run the risk of all talking over each other. It’s a foam replica of a cooked jumbo shrimp — headless and legless but we’ve added googly eyes. The tradition has evolved to the point that now in virtual meetings people will sometimes put a shrimp emoji in the chat when they want to talk and the meeting leader will recognize them saying “you have the shrimp.”

        From “the adult bibs, the talking shrimp, and other unusual office traditions” post on October 23, 2023.

  19. Chairman of the Bored*

    I’ve heard companies are starting to require people to get dressed up and spend hours commuting to something called an “office” in order to do work they have accomplished successfully from home for several years.

    Seems pretty ridiculous to me.

    4. MigraineMonth*

      That makes no sense to me. Why would people need to get dressed up? As long as it’s not a safety or public nudity concern, how would my outfit possibly affect my work output?

  20. WellRed*

    I’m not sure which is weirder: Pepsi dictating the cups employees of a different company could use or that water was limited to 6 ounces at a time or that employees had to ask managers for water. Please do elaborate on that 4th of July. It sounds hilarious.

  21. Mouse named Anon*

    One our long time best friends has Cerebral Palsy. He can get around short distances with crutches, esp if he will have a place to sit wherever he is going. However, if he is going long distances, going to be on his feet all day he will bring his wheelchair. Example – in college he usually brought his wheelchair to campus to use during school hours (as we went to a big state school). However, on the weekends, if we hung out he would use crutches.

    In college he got a job at large retailer. For some reason he was not allowed to use his wheelchair at the register but was given an actual stool/chair instead. Someone saw it and complained, and he was never allowed to use it again. So, he quit. He was young and didn’t really have the forethought to take legal action. I always think how awful that was.

    1. Manic Pixie HR Girl*

      I will never understand why people are so offended by cashiers sitting down. Makes zero sense to me.

      1. Watry*

        IMO it’s a cross between expecting subservience and (since retail workers usually aren’t very wealthy) the idea that poor people should work extremely hard to deserve being paid.

        1. Wilbur*

          I only check out from cashiers using the walking desks/treadmills. If they’re not willing to walk to the moon for their customers they lack passion. /s

      2. Name (Required)*

        Only in the US!! And maybe a few other bassackwards countries. I know in Sweden, the cashiers were already sitting by 1982.

        2. allathian*

          Yes, I worked retail in the early 90s in Finland and I was always allowed to sit when I was a cashier. Here customers also always pack their own groceries.

      3. PepperVL*

        I had a second job at Target, geeze, almost 20 years ago now. I broke my foot. Came in for my first shift after that happened in my crutches and was sent home because I wasn’t allowed to have a stool at the register, nor was it acceptable for me to do the light duty assigned to everyone other than cashiers – man the dressing rooms/phone.

        Fortunately for me, as I was like 24 at the time. my stepdad was more than willing to spend time on the phone. He managed to get through to Target corporate (I tried, but I was also working my office job so time was limited) and not long after that conversation I got a call from my manager apologizing. I got paid my scheduled shift for the day they sent me home and got a stool for the rest of the time I was in my boot.

      4. kiki*

        Yes! Honestly, if this is the biggest complaint you have, your experience as a customer must have been pretty great! Why would you be mad that workers can sit somewhat comfortably for hours ant an time instead of standing? Is it because the customer is not also able to sit for the few minutes they are at the register? Is it jealousy?

        1. Ama*

          The thing that drives me nuts about this is that same customer, if they were in a store where the cashiers were instructed to tidy their endcaps up if they had no one checking out (as we were when I worked at Target in high school), would probably complain that the cashier had to take a few moments to move back to their register and log back in.

          Some people just want to complain.

        2. Chirpy*

          The thing that gets me is the people complaining about retail workers sitting at any point during a day tend to be the ones who sit at desks themselves all day. If you mandated entire offices to stand at awkward height computer kiosks, they’d rightly riot or call OSHA.

      5. Observer*

        I will never understand why people are so offended by cashiers sitting down. Makes zero sense to me.

        I would repeat this 1,000 but I don’t think Alison would appreciate it :)

        But, this is seriously true. What on earth is the issue?!?!?!?

        1. I Have RBF*

          I don’t know. I have found that when cashiers can sit on a stool when at their register they are more friendly and less likely to make mistakes. It’s like being comfortable at work makes them better workers or something… It’s a mystery! (Not)

          1. Jane Gloriana Villanueva*

            I think their managers may have customer-facing worries that relate to your user name. If cashiers can’t rest, no BF! lol

            1. I Have RBF*

              LOL!

              I’ve found, however, that no rest means actually more BF. My tired and hurting face is even more of a BF than my RBF.

      6. Emily Byrd Starr*

        See, I thought someone was offended by seeing his wheelchair because it made them sad (yes, there are some people who are bananacrackers enough to say such a thing).

    3. spotphilo*

      Ugh yes, this is such a Thing. I badly sprained my ankle during my stint as a cashier, and was told I wasn’t allowed to sit on a stool at the register and if I wasn’t well enough to stand for my entire 6-8hr shift I should stay home. Take a wild guess whether that job offered any paid sick time…

      1. ITT non tech*

        That’s a “can you put that in writing please?” That is a lawsuit that will cost way more than the best stool money could buy.

      2. Your Mate in Oz*

        My experience has been that that kind of stupidity isn’t really related to pay. It sucks extra hard to be told you can’t work when you desperately need the money, but…

        I had a salaried job with sick leave and when I broke my collarbone the company owner said “you’re either working full time in the office or you’re home on sick leave” in response to me working part time from home. My team leader was really annoyed but them’s the rules. LIke, he’s going to be paying me either way, getting some work out of me is surely better than none? (I was stuck at home bored. Bored bored bored. I kinda like my job, and it definitely beats watching daytime TV)

    4. lilsheba*

      doesn’t help now but that is an ADA violation, they can’t deny someone their wheelchair that’s insane.

  22. NMitford*

    No coat racks for employees’ coats and no hanging coats on the back of your chairs.

    I worked for a company where the CEO worked with a designer to design a brand-spanking-new open concept (blech!) suite of offices with blinding white walls and light beige furniture. After we moved in, the CEO wanted to keep the place looking like a picture from Architectural Digest, which led to a number of ridiculous policies, but the no coat racks policy (having a jumble of multi-colored coats would be horrible! horrible!) really took the biscuit for me. We were told that we could leave our coats in our cars since it wasn’t really that long a walk from the parking garage. It actually can get cold in the the DC area in the winter, and it also can rain a lot, for which you might want a raincoat, as well.

    You know how big office buildings have random columns in them for beams. I had one coworker, who was not the least bit popular on our team, walk in one morning with the biggest Command hook she could buy, slap it on the back of one of those columns where it wouldn’t be visible from the rest of the floor, and hang up her coat. We still didn’t much like her, but we respected her a whole lot more for that.

      1. NMitford*

        HR finally gave in — slightly — and agreed that employees could put their coats in the very tiny guest coat closet behind the receptionist’s desk, where the company also stored things like easels for the conference rooms. There weren’t enough hangers and, besides, the closet was on a different floor than where everyone actually worked.

      2. KR*

        Or a coat room! That would actually be low key genius in a state that gets slush and snow to have a locker room or coat room that employees can stash their things in!

    4. Coverage Associate*

      OMG. A coat rack was one thing I mentioned in our anonymous employee survey recently. We’re in California, so I think it was just forgotten. My managers are reasonable.

    6. Birdie*

      No coats in DC?! The place where you get the full spectrum of weather?

      I take it this wasn’t a metro-accessible location? Or was this just more out-of-touch CEO garbage? Heavy cost, gloves, scarf, big Canadian-style hat…..the CEO would have hated me. Oh, and the heavy boots! I’m not standing outside with -10 windchills without protecting my dear little toes.

    7. Ama*

      I’m pretty sure when we got our new offices in 2017, our CEO insisted we have a small coat closet cabinet at each cubicle because she got annoyed by how everyone just threw their coats over their chairs in the old office (we had a very small coat closet but it was way up at the front of the office and most people didn’t use it).

      She also would not let people put anything on top of that cabinet that stuck up over the cubicle, which was annoying because if you weren’t right next to the window, you had to get rid of your plants since there was no other way to get them daylight.

      1. Worldwalker*

        My home office is in the northeast corner of the house; the only window is on the north side. I have USB-powered plant lights. They make my ponytail palm look weird but it seems healthy.

    8. VintageLydia*

      I’m literally an interior designer working in an interior design firm in an office we designed with weather similar to DC and I’m staring at our (decorative but functional!) coat racks with coats on them and my coat on my chair.

      Good grief your boss was… something.

    9. kiki*

      Ugh, this is something that irks me about some modern design– they want to achieve a clean and uncluttered aesthetic but they didn’t include anywhere to put stuff. People have things, offices need lots of space to keep supplies. If the goal is to have a minimalistic aesthetic, you have to maximize the amount of closets and storage space. You can’t just hope all the stuff disappears!

      1. NMitford*

        This is so true. We only had three small drawers in which to keep everything, and it was so frustrating.

      2. Angstrom*

        Heck, the Shakers achived a clean and uncluttered aesthetic 150 years ago, and had LOTS of places to put stuff. That’s how you keep the main space uncluttered. ;-)

    10. ICodeForFood*

      Back in the 90s, the insurance company where I worked had a re-design of the office… new carpet, new cubicle panels, etc. Our senior vice president decided that the only way to retain that “completely re-designed” look was to prohibit employees from having any personal belongings on their desks. No family photos, no paperweights made by their children… none of that.
      Luckily, my manager at the time was in some ways (not all, but some) reasonable, and she said something along the lines of “Give it a couple of weeks and he’ll forget all about it.” And that was exactly what happened. Over time, we all “snuck” back in the things that made our spaces ours… and the SVP never noticed or complained.

    11. I Have RBF*

      I worked in an open plan hell pit where it was more important that all of the desks were “uniform” than people actually being comfortable. They wouldn’t allow us to bring our ergonomic chairs that were specifically bought for us because “the new office chairs are ergonomic” – but they didn’t fit about a third of the people. We also were not allowed to hang our coats on the backs of our chairs. We were supposed to put them in our lockers (that were not ready until six months went by) or hang them in the printer room.

      In the move I had been half-way smart. I goofed by not grabbing and transporting my own ergo chair (the new chairs hurt, they were so bad.) However, I did disassemble and pack up my coat rack. When there was no place near our desks for coats, I assembled it and put it in an unused corner between my desk and a conference room. My entire team, including my boss, used it. When I left I willed it to my boss. It was a classy wooden one I got for relatively cheap on Amazon. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00474ILUQ/) It looked like it belonged there. No one said a word about it.

    12. JustaTech*

      Oh man, my office did this too!
      We’re in a very wet part of the country so we had hardly even moved in before the vigorous complaints went up from everyone that there was nowhere to put our wet coats. The new desk walls (not even cubes) were too short, so we ended up with some very classic black free-standing coat racks.

      We were also told to put NOTHING on the walls, not even work-sponsored posters, because the COO liked the “clean aesthetic”. That was five years ago, and just last week (long after the COO quit) the VP comes down like a tornado “why aren’t our posters up?!”
      Dude, I have been asking to put them up for years, stop acting like it’s our fault they aren’t up.

    13. Yzziefrog*

      Living in Canada, you’d think every office would have a place to leave your parka and heavy boots, and you would be so, so wrong. Pretty much everywhere in the winter you walk around and all you see is big floofy coats hanging outside every cubicle. I used to have my own boot mat to place under my desk because I hate wearing winter boots all day, makes my feet all sweaty

      1. Humble Schoolmarm*

        I’ve asked so many times why we can’t have a locking staff room or at least use a student locker to store coats, boots and purses. Principals (you know, the ones with locking offices) just keep looking at me like I’ve taken leave of my senses.

    14. Cedrus Libani*

      This reminds me of a designer fail from a previous job. There were fewer cubicles than there were employees to fill them. There was room to add more, but all cubicles in the building had to use the fabric specified in the architectural plans. This was somehow embedded in a bunch of donor agreements and would have cost a mint in administrative / lawyer fees to change. Alas, the factory that had once made this precious material no longer did so. The factory was willing to re-start production, for a $30,000 retooling fee (and this was 2010-ish) plus a minimum order that could have met our cubicle paneling needs until the end of the world. So…no new cubicles in that building, ever.

    15. KevinB*

      I work for a company in the midwest, so we have a lot of cold days. There are no coatrooms and they took away cubicle walls (where people used to hang coats). I’m petty so I put it on my laptop obscuring part of the camera we are supposed to always have on.

  23. Sosie*

    Ooh boy so much:
    We couldn’t eat at our desks. We could only drink from cups with lids. Could not walk through the empty, open conference room to get to the kitchen. Blinds all had to be at equal length. Nothing allowed on the walls (pictures, cork boards, white boards). Had to leave five minutes late every day as to not give the impression we were watching the clock to leave. Everyone from VP down had to clock in and out (white collar industry ). If you traveled for work and you flew in or out on a work day you still had to go into the office if there were hours left in the workday. Flight leaves at 11am? Had to be in at 8am and then leave for the airport from the office. Get in at 3pm? From the airport straight to the office. I could go on.

    1. TechWorker*

      Omg my company did that last one too, because we were contractors and they got paid by the half day that people were working. They literally expected someone who got in from a 11hr flight at 1pm our time to travel the 2 hours from the airport to the office to work for another 2-3 hours, or use PTO if they wanted to go home and sleep.

    2. Charlotte Lucas*

      The only one that makes some sense is the cups with lids. I’ve seen that rule to keep people from spilling on office equipment. And I’ve had to clock in and out for white collar jobs while working for a place with federal contracts. It’s for reporting.

      The rest is just ridiculous.

      1. UKDancer*

        Yes. Cups with lids makes sense. I’ve worked somewhere with that rule to manage the issue of people spilling tea and coffee on the new computers.

        1. OtterB*

          Some years ago my then-employer moved into a newly constructed building. A rumor went around that we would not be allowed to take cups of coffee or tea upstairs from the kitchen and people lost it. Clarification came quickly: to carry a full cup out of the kitchen, it had to have a lid on it. They wanted to protect the new carpet, not keep us uncaffeinated.

    3. Lunchtime Doubly So*

      I worked at a place where we couldn’t eat at our desks, but it was because the CEO wanted everyone to eat in the kitchen so he could hold court. Everyone was forced to eat their lunch while smiling at his thoughts on matters of the day.

    4. Ellis Bell*

      Id be so tempted to say I wasn’t watching the clock well enough to know what time I got back from my trip. Then, if I struck lucky with job hunting I’d put all the blinds at very slightly uneven lengths just before handing in my notice and leaving at 4.59.

      1. DannyG*

        I would just complain how long it takes to clear customs and get my luggage, just enough time to eat up the rest of the day.

      1. Texan in exile on her phone*

        Oh man I hate Uline so much. They tag their jobs as Milwaukee even though they’re like 40 miles south of town.

        (And their politics)

  24. UglyFeet*

    I worked for a resort run by a delusional general manager in the early aughts. The resort was in an area know for extreme weather including massive snow storms and intensely hot, muggy summers. We had outdoorsy clientele like hikers and extreme winter sports enthusiasts. The place was desperately in need of upgrades as most everything was very country-kitsch with bears and trout and black and red plaid, and renovations hadn’t been done since the late 80s, but our clientele weren’t the type to give a hoot. That didn’t stop the GM from putting out bonkers dress code policies to try and class the place up including (see if you can find the pattern):

    Female staff had to have their hair in a bun or a cut to a page-boy.
    Female staff could not wear heavy winter boots regardless of weather or tasks.
    Female staff could only have clear nail polish.
    Female staff must wear pantyhose under their clothing, even if they’re wearing slacks.
    Female staff shouldn’t wear slacks, regardless of weather or job title.
    Female staff could not wear open-toed shoes (this was because our GM was worried about “ugly feet offending the guests”).

    During my orientation I also got a pamphlet on acceptable makeup styles. I was on ski-patrol and I asked my boss how exactly I was going to do my job in a skirt and heels and how makeup prevented me from creating a safe and fun experience for our guests. He just muttered something about ignoring it. The reception staff got the worst of it by far. I’d say that’s the only time I enjoyed a mom and pop business getting bought out by a major corporation.

          1. Ally McBeal*

            I just googled it and read a PBS interview with a lady named Barbara “Dusty” Roads, who was a flight attendant/stewardess:

            “We wore high heels and hose and we were supposed to wear girdles. Occasionally they’d do a girdle check… they’d come up and give you a little finger on the rear-end. If you didn’t have a girdle on, you’d be called into the office — even if you didn’t need one”

            1. skunklet*

              I firmly believe that those 2 hours are something EVERY person needs to watch (American Experience, PBS, all about flight attendants)

      2. pally*

        How about those panty hose checks for the men? Bet those didn’t go over well.

        Yeah, I know, there weren’t any.

    3. Margaret Cavendish*

      I used to work in a business bookstore that had a fairly strict, but undocumented, dress code policy. The owner would really have preferred to have us all in suits, but since she was employing a bunch of broke university students and paying them minimum wage, she had to be content with business casual.

      Until one day, she saw my tattoo. It’s small, about the size of a golf ball, on the outside of my ankle. I was wearing nylons, and the only reason she saw it was because I happened to be sitting on a raised platform in the back room, nowhere near the customers. Nevertheless. A *gasp* TATTOO! She completely lost her shizzle. The manager, who was a much saner person, said he was aware of it, I had it when I was hired, and there was no official policy against them. He also pointed out that I was an excellent employee, despite the presence of a small amount of ink on my body.

      So the owner calmed down from her initial outrage. But still, it was clear that we needed a Policy. So she created one – *nine pages long.* Nine pages, for a minimum wage part time job. It included no tattoos, obviously – but also if you had a tattoo you couldn’t cover it up, so I’m not sure exactly how that was supposed to work. It also specified only one earring per ear (oops, I was out of compliance there as well, due to the second piercing in my left earlobe!). Also only one ring per hand, maximum length of fingernails, no nail polish, acceptable hairstyles for both genders, and included the phrases “must wear deodorant” and “appropriate undergarments.” It was… a lot.

          1. JustaTech*

            This sounds like what happened at my private girl’s school when someone in my class got an eyebrow piercing (late 90’s). The school, which already had a uniform and pretty strict dress code, came down like a ton of bricks “no facial piercings, only one earring per ear”. (They already had a rule for the elementary school that those girls could only wear post earrings, dangly earrings were a privilege for older kids.)

            Now, like I said, this was a private school. So most people’s parents were in high-paying professions, like doctors. And lawyers. And we had a reasonably diverse student population. Including people from places where nose piercings are part of their religious/cultural heritage.

            Apparently there were some *very* tense phone calls involving lawyers and the rule was revised to be “no facial piercings unless it is your cultural heritage”. The girl with the eyebrow ring had to switch to a bit of clear fishing line to keep her piercing.

      2. AnonORama*

        That sounds like the interview dress style guide from my law school (early 2000s). Not surprisingly, the women’s side had suit color and skirt length “suggestions;” prohibitions on wearing a pants suit; directions about what could be worn underneath the suit jacket (no sleeveless shells, even though you weren’t supposed to take off the jacket); pantyhose suggestions; heel height suggestions (not too high, but no flats); jewelry, nails and makeup suggestions; purse/briefcase suggestions; hairstyle rules, and even something about acceptable resume portfolios. The men’s side was basically “wear a suit.”

        1. Enai*

          You know what amuses me right now? I once read an etiquette book which had the reverse case for black-tie events: men exclusively in a smoking complete with cummerbund and so on, and women “I’m afraid you’ll have to trust the ladies”, as apparently what an “evening gown” even was had evolved so much, no coherent rule could be constructed.

      3. Seashell*

        When I was in high school in the 80’s, I applied for a summer job along with a friend of mine. I got the job, and my friend didn’t hear back from them and couldn’t figure out why. When I was in training, they said the rule was one earring per ear for females and no unusual hairstyles. I had two holes in one ear, but often only wore one earring per ear. My friend had multiple holes in both ears and short hair with a long rat tail braid in back. That explained why she didn’t get the job.

      1. Perfectly normal-size space bird*

        During my senior year of undergrad, one of my instructors was a working attorney for the city. She spent a lot of time describing the ridiculous dress code rules judges would impose on women. Rules about what kind of makeup to wear, heel height, hairstyles, and of course, clothing. One judge in particular refused to allow any woman wearing pants into his courtroom. Didn’t matter if the woman was the court reporter, defendant, plaintiff, a lawyer, a courtroom guard, witness, or spectator. They were barred from the courtroom if both legs were separately sheathed.

        I’d like to say I graduated in 1914 but it was unfortunately 2014.

        That judge is still working and still imposing the rule.

        1. JustaTech*

          Snort.
          Back in the 80’s my parents had a tenet who lived upstairs who’d gotten a part time job as a bailiff at the juvenile court in the city (I think she was a law student). Her first day of work she showed up in a classic 80’s power suit, with heels. The judge took one look at her and said “go home and change, I need you in sneakers”.
          Turns out the judge had hired this gal partly based on her having been a varsity lacrosse player, and therefore a very fast runner, because part of the job of the bailiff in juvie was to catch the kids who would try to just run out the courtroom. She did a lot of running.

        2. Your Social Work Friend*

          I knew of a judge in my hometown who would not allow women to appear in his court room in open toed shoes. You also couldn’t appear in that court house in jeans, with sunglasses on your head, or without a tie–no matter the judge.

          1. Bast*

            No jeans or sunglasses in Court is still pretty much the rule around here. Certainly no attorney would think to show up like that, but we try to counsel clients to, at the very least, wear khakis and a button up or polo. You don’t have to go out and buy an expensive, special suit and tie, but dress a little better than you usually do. Of course, we have clients that ALWAYS look like they stepped out of a Mens Warehouse catalog; those aren’t the ones we need to have a pep talk with.

        3. MigraineMonth*

          I know a male lawyer who noticed that his female colleagues were always getting chided by the judges for their clothing, whereas his suit and tie were never criticized. He was so outraged, he stopped wearing a tie in solidarity.

      2. Emily Byrd Starr*

        I have heard people call it that and used it myself, although I believe the correct term is Noughties.

    6. Csethiro Ceredin*

      Good lord. Could the men just wear whatever?

      I would quit if someone made me wear pantyhose daily. I had to wear them if I worse a skirt in retail jobs in my 20s, which was ridiculously old fashioned even then, but UNDER PANTS??

      My inseam is 36″ and pantyhose means horrible, distracting Crotch Creep all day.

    7. Emily Byrd Starr*

      Someone should have protested by showing up in pantyhose, underwear, and heels, but nothing else below the waist. “What? You said we weren’t allowed to wear pants, so I’m just following the dress code!”

    8. Warrior Princess Xena*

      I’ve heard of some stupid rules before but skirts and heels for SKI PATROL might be the stupidest. I’ve never seen any sane person out on the slopes in anything less than full winter gear unless it’s spring and sunny enough to take one’s coat off.

    9. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

      “Female staff had to have their hair in a bun or a cut to a page-boy.”

      Wait, what? Were women not allowed to have shorter haircuts? Enquiring minds want to konow!

  25. Dr. Rebecca*

    A “look busy” policy for an order picker/packer. I was incredibly efficient at my job, and would pick the days orders in half an hour, have them packed up in the next 45 minutes, and then need to sweep the warehouse or make glue/glass cleaner samples for the rest of the 8 hour day because they didn’t want me standing around doing nothing (and god forbid I SAT around doing nothing…) I got really good at finding obscure corners of the warehouse out of peoples’ line of sight.

    1. econobiker*

      And the warehouse management surely never thought to ask “why is Dr. Rebecca better than the rest of the crew” and “how can we train the rest of them to duplicate her speed and success…and cut down on the actual paid time or amount of employees we have to use to pick and pack.”
      Of course they did not think that…
      They always knew better…
      So…
      “Get back to sweeping Dr. Rebecca! No standing around doing nothing!”

  26. Mosquito*

    I work an essentially blue-collar job, w most employees having never held an office job before. I also have never, but I have some adjacent experience and I read this site. Our HR -who has never done HR before and is really in sales – is so universally reviled that no one will talk to them, and so people bring HR tasks to me, a random shop floor-type employee. I was referred to as a “guerilla HR” yesterday, much to my horror. I am paid extra for these tasks, although that’s a secret from Real HR, because much like Game of Thrones, my claim to the throne is backed by several powerful people. I have done almost nothing to advance my campaign, this is just sort of happening at me.

    7. iglwif*

      This is amazing and I would read an entire book about your adventures in Guerilla HR.

  27. notscarlettohara*

    I’m not even going to try to anonymize this one, cuz I don’t really care if they find out. I used to work for a veterinary ER that could not find staff (because they were terrible). When they could not find a doctor or a nurse for a particular shift, instead of taping a closed sign to the door and turning the phones off like any normal place, they would pay a person (sometimes an extremely highly paid doctor) to sit there all night, 100% alone in the building, not doing anything except answering the phone and telling people we couldn’t see them because…. we didn’t have the staff? Oh no, we had to tell them “we’re at capacity”. Which goes over super well when clients are looking at an empty parking lot and an empty building. They were simultaneously actively losing money, losing staff who were tired of being constantly screamed at, AND alienating their entire client base.

    1. Siege*

      This appears to be the policy at my local emergency vet – claiming they’re at capacity, I mean – and it created some chaos for me and my cats. The good news is they appear to have finally hired enough staff; the bad news is when I took my cat in last week after he panicked in a blood draw at his regular vet and wasn’t getting better, they wrote down that we were there for decreased appetite. No, it’s the fact he’s not moving and the one time he got up he laid down in his litter box to die that we’re here for. (He’s much improved today, but … way to miss the actual problem!)

      1. Raida*

        yeah Emergency Vets churn through staff, especially the front desk.
        It’s high pressure, it’s emotionally draining, and every. other. day. someone is crying while carrying their bleeding beloved pet into the lobby, begging for someone to help.

        The one my mate did HR consulting for basically had to stay over-staffed whenever possible to be able to run normally as people left and were hired in.
        They’d still end up under-staffed periodically

        1. MigraineMonth*

          I live in a medium-sized city, and when my friend had a pet emergency she had to drive well over 2 hours to the nearest Emergency Vet that was actually accepting patients. Then they didn’t have the right kind of insulin, so my friend drove back home to get the insulin, and back to drop off the insulin (6 hrs driving). Then they kept the animal overnight, so the friend drove back home to sleep (8 hrs driving) and went to pick up the animal the next day and bring it home (12 hrs driving).

          WHAT.

    2. Turtlewings*

      That seems especially horrifying for an emergency facility, when someone’s pet might be actively dying in that empty parking lot!

    4. Boof*

      hahaha…. I mean I guess if your capacity is zero because you do not have staff then you are at capacity with no patients but… wow.

  28. Brian*

    We had to sign in upon arrival or be counted as late. But the log book was in the boss’s office, and she was always late. We were expected to hang around her door until she showed up (instead of getting a jump on the day’s work–we were salaried teachers, so we’d always arrive early). If we showed up before the boss and just started working, we’d be counted late.

      1. Ostrich Herder*

        Agreed, this is the exact combination of strange, petty, and easily-solved that I came to the comments for!

    2. Margaret Cavendish*

      I…can’t follow the logic here. How does this make any sense?

      (I know, I know. It doesn’t. But my poor brain is still going to try!)

    3. hereforthecomments*

      A former workplace instituted a policy to email your direct supervisor when you got to work because they couldn’t be bothered to notice if you were in or not. One morning my boss walked by me, we said hello and then five minutes later she came back and told me I forgot to email her that I was there. I said: You saw me; we spoke. Her: Email anyway. No, nothing was ever done with the emails and they weren’t kept for any kind of official record or timekeeping.

    4. In the middle*

      I had one principal who would check the cameras to see when we arrived. I was usually about half an hour early. One day I was two minutes late (because of the panic attack I had on the drive because work was so awful) and I got a written warning.

    5. Raida*

      We had something similar with schedules being in the office, and the managers closing the door to work.
      Someone one day just walked in, picked up the schedules, and put it in the staff room instead. Manager protested, was told (hah) “You’re outnumbered twenty to one, I’ll just put it back in the staff room if you move it.”

    6. Dark Macadamia*

      My first principal used to print out our time sheets and highlight every time we clocked in late. I’d sometimes have a couple 2-5 minute lates from traffic, weather, etc but no acknowledgement of how I stayed 10-30 minutes extra for grading, printing, and the WEEKLY staff meeting that almost always ran over -_-

  29. Betty Spaghetti*

    Our upper management decided that if employees weren’t spending a majority of their time working from the office (vs remotely working), they would forfeit their offices and be moved to a cubicle. Dear reader, our building had no cubicles.

      1. Betty Spaghetti*

        I have a feeling someone pointed out that, due to the lack of cubicles, the punishment for doing too much work remotely was…to only work remotely? That or the entire idea was forgotten, much like the multitude of other dead initiatives of years past.

        That reminds me of the initiative where management directed my department to create step by step manuals for every. single. task. we ever handle. Much of our positions is based on professional judgement, experience, etc. It was an impossible task. But hey, we stalled long enough and management forgot all about it.

  30. Mouse named Anon*

    I worked a temp job at a small niche call center type place. It was mainly info gathering type of thing. It was honestly awful and only meant to be in between type thing for me. Anyway. They had many silly rules.

    1. We couldn’t walk around during the day, except to go to the bathroom.
    2. We also had limited bathroom breaks and were scolded for taking too many.
    3. We weren’t supposed to use the kitchen except for between 12-1 for lunch.
    4. We technically weren’t supposed to have food or drink at our desk. But I did anyway bc a girl needs snacks ok. I also need coffee if you want me to functioning member of society.
    5. I wouldn’t call this a rule but once someone left the coffee on a burner too long. It burnt so badly that it dried up and stunk up the whole office. Which I get is annoying. A senior sales rep walked around and (LITERALLY) shoved it everyone’s face. Saying “SEE THIS??? WHO DID IT??”

    1. Bast*

      Limited and monitored bathroom breaks… Sounds more like a kindergarten classroom than a business staffed with adults. Ugh.

      1. La Triviata*

        Many years ago, a high school (in NJ I think) decided rather than giving students hall passes each time they’d ask to use the rest room, they’d allow everyone a specific number of times they could use the rest room. Well, it turned out that a number of students (mostly girls) would hoard their permitted uses, not wanting to run through them before they expired. The result was a lot of girls with urinary tract infections. That policy was abandoned after the first semester/year.

        1. Quill*

          Well, you need all of them in one week, often…

          We used to have 5 hall passes, total, for the year. With a ten minute passing period that made it basically impossible to both cross the building to your class and use the restroom.

          Most teachers just “forgot” to date and time the hall passes (they were in your assignment notebook) so that you could leave when necessary.

          Best I witnessed was when a male health teacher refused to issue a hall pass because “you’ve used one twice already this week” and a girl stood up and said “sir if you don’t know why a girl needs to use the bathroom every day of the week you’re not qualified to teach health.”

            1. Quill*

              From my memory, with a mixture of embarrassment and churlishness. Nobody got in any long term trouble, and he did shut up, for a while anyway, about being asked to issue hall passes. (Dude you are in the GYM STORAGE ROOM why do you think nobody can pee during passing time? You’re a million miles away from the rest of the school)

          3. Galadriel's Garden*

            God, this reminds me of my high school speech class. It was a mandatory class everyone had to take, and the teacher had a bit of a complex about it – so in order to ensure students weren’t trying to spend all of their time *out* of class, he taped both bathroom hall passes to literal, actual toilet seats. Yes, to go to the bathroom, you would have to carry a toilet seat with you. There was one boy’s, and one girl’s, and if you needed to use the bathroom at the same time as someone else of your gender during your 50 minute period? Well, sucks to be you.

            One time, as was wont to happen to a teenage girl, I desperately needed to use the bathroom for period-related reasons…but the girl’s hall pass was in use. The boy’s one, however, was not. I asked once, discreetly, if I could use the bathroom as it was a bit of an emergency. No can do, hall pass in use. Five more minutes go by, my classmate has not returned, and I go back up to the teacher’s desk and let him know that it’s a bit of an urgent situation, can I *please* just use the boy’s hall pass?

            No. I, a straight-A student who actually took his class seriously, was clearly trying to get out of work, according to him. I pleaded with him, letting him know this was a sort of girl-related emergency. Nope.

            So I marched back to my desk, ripped a tampon from my backpack, held it aloft, and announced to *the entire class* that I needed to change my tampon, and Mr. Teacher’sname was not going to stop me. When stopped by a hall monitor after leaving the room, as I had no hall pass (or toilet seat, in this case), I told this wizened old man that Mr. Teacher’sname wouldn’t let me leave to change my tampon and I was going to bleed all over my seat, loud enough for my entire class to hear it. Weirdly enough, he let me pass, the teacher did not say a word to me, and I literally never did anything like that again.

            1. Bast*

              It’s absolutely ridiculous that someone should have to spell out WHY they need to use the restroom, particularly at an age where it’s clear they aren’t in there unrolling the TP all around the bathroom. it also tends to be the people who never cause issues that get the issues from teachers, supervisors, etc, and the people actually who do abuse it get no flack, which again, I just don’t get. The passing period in between classes in most schools is so miniscule you don’t have time to use the restroom, and it makes it doubly impossible if your next class is clear on the other end of the building.

              I remember having to explain that at a retail job — my period started at an inconvenient time, so I buzzed over a supervisor to watch my register for 2 minutes while I could put in a tampon. Supervisor comes over (a woman) and I tell her I need the restroom. She asks if it can’t wait for my break, and I say no, it’s an emergency, “Well what kind of emergency?” How many different types of bathroom emergencies are there, and do you really want to hear about ANY of them? “I’m about to bleed all over the floor.” Same supervisor was also really crappy when I was pregnant and needed to pee all the time. “But you just had a break, why didn’t you go then?” “I DID, but I literally am peeing all the time now, I can’t help it!”

          4. MigraineMonth*

            My middle school had an infamous incident where, immediately after giving a female student permission to use the bathroom, the male teacher demanded to know what she had gotten out of her backpack to take with her.

            At the time I would have died of embarrassment if I were that girl, but at my current age I’d like to think I’d make it a “learning opportunity” for the teacher. Give a quick overview of the pros, cons and insertion methods of various menstrual products, for example.

          5. BeachMum*

            My kids had a ten minute passing period in high school, which never made sense to me. Way back when I was in high school, I had time to use the restroom and smoke a cigarette (it was the 80’s) between classes. I don’t understand the reasoning behind the super-short passing periods.

            1. Chirpy*

              Everyone with 10 minutes between classes sounds amazing. I had 5 in high school and THREE in middle school…and not in small buildings, either. So basically, you had to carry a backpack all day and hope you had a class near your locker if you needed to switch out the books.

      2. whingedrinking*

        I’ve had one or two bosses who tried to insist that we needed a “bathroom policy” for students.
        I have only worked in adult education.
        (Luckily, every teacher just completely disregarded this policy. Seriously, one of the *benefits* of working with adults is that supposedly you don’t have to do as much classroom management.)

  31. No Tribble At All*

    One that we fortunately pushed back on: I worked shifts for a place that had two 24/7 centers. A shift had me, in my room; two other people a continent away; and another team of four in the room next door. When all we were supposed to do was monitor, we’d hang out in the room next door because, yknow, socializing with other humans.

    Apparently the team in the other site got tired of having to call the team of four to come find us (eating, hanging out in their room because it was NIGHT SHIFT and NOTHING HAPPENED). Their manager suggested we make a virtual status light that logged when we were away from our console.

    We got them to drop it because, as I said, “I am not having an entry in the official logbook that states how long it took me to poop.”

  32. Elle Woods*

    I once had a manger who only allowed employees to use blue ink pens. She absolutely refused to read or review anything that had been written in a different color.

    1. Problem!*

      I used to work at a place that required everything to official be done in blue pen so it was easy to distinguish between originals and photocopies. To this day I have a difficult time doing anything work-related in non-blue pen but I don’t get weird about it to other people.

        1. Elle Woods*

          That makes sense to me. This manager’s insistence on blue ink wasn’t anything like that though. She said black ink didn’t stand out on printed docs (fair enough), green ink was too faint (OK), and red was an attack on her work (she was horrible at taking any sort of criticism). All of us reporting to her went along with it; it was only an issue when she had to review a document with notes from someone outside the department.

          1. Pizza Rat*

            I would have found something in turquoise. That’s a shade of blue. This kind of BS just screams for malicious compliance.

              1. Mim*

                My fountain pen collection is so up for this challenge. I’m envisioning a spreadsheet to track that manager’s reactions to various blues, veering off all the way into turquoises on one end of the spectrum and puples on the opposite end. I wonder if they could be slowly conditioned to accept purples if you work them up to it. Frog in boiling water theory + color theory!

            2. Total*

              I once worked somewhere that dictated we use blue or black only. I had a purpley blue pen. It was great because I could easily flick back through and see my entries. Other staff liked it too for the same reason. Staff commented on how good it was that I used a slightly different color, in front of a manager who had decided she wanted to make my life misery. Despite it having been fine for a year, suddenly this color didn’t meet audit requirements. Initially she was going to have me re-write all the notes until I pointed out the illegality of editing past notes!

          2. Not Alison*

            I totally get her not liking red. I don’t like it either and always made comments on my staff’s work (our dept did a lot of writing) in green.

      2. Blue ink forever*

        I used to work with attorneys and that was something I learned. I’m an only blue-ink person myself (even before that job), but I don’t impose my blue-ink preference on others.

      3. Cyndi*

        Honestly when I worked in mortgage post-closing we wanted this policy so badly, but had absolutely no power to actually get the closing department to do it. Instead we were trained to lick our thumbs and touch the signature to test whether it smeared.

        I think a lot of us low key thought of closers and loan officers as the enemy, because our job was to catch their mistakes, and also to pull staples out of all the bizarre places things got stapled (in the dead center of a one-page document?) because even one missed staple could destroy our bulk scanners. They certainly did treat us adversarially a lot of the time when we had to ask them to redo things.

    2. La Triviata*

      I once had a manager that chewed me out because I had stapled some documents with the staple parallel to the top edge of the paper. She insisted all staples had to be at a 45 degree angle.

      1. Margaret Cavendish*

        I had a manager who insisted all documents had to be printed in portrait format – never landscape. Despite the fact that I was printing a table, and it had to be landscape in order to make it, you know, legible.

      2. Cyndi*

        At an old job, an OUTSIDE BANK once called my manager to complain about me because I was paper clipping documents instead of stapling them.

      3. Paris Geller*

        I didn’t have a boss like that, but I did have a teacher! She would literally take a ruler to see if you stapled your pages correctly and if you did not, you got docked points.

      4. Broken Lawn Chair*

        She must hate those copiers that do their own stapling, since the ones I’ve seen usually put them parallel to a paper edge.

    3. Another CPA*

      I have a director who will not sign anything using a pen handed to him. He will only use his own pen – which comes from the same supply cabinet as all the other pens in the office. He also only signs in blue. He claims that blue proves that it is a “wet signature” and not a photocopy.

        1. Observer*

          There was a time when this was a reasonable rule. Even now color copiers are not anywhere near as common as B&W, and the color copiers also are also surprisingly bad quality, especially the higher capacity ones.

          The one major exception and low / moderate volume all-in-one machines that use the high resolution inkjet printer mechanism, but even then it’s not universal because is also requires much better scanning than the typical fax machine.

          So, annoying, but not as insane as some of the others.

    4. Ugh-o*

      I had a micro manager like this, only he dictated the type of ink that must be used. We couldn’t use gel ink because “What if you spilled water on it?????”

    5. JSPA*

      I dealt with an admin who had opinions on what constituted normal vs “too blue” shades of blue.

      I cut her slack because older photocopiers were (by design?) unable to see “non-photo blue” (which was then used for mark-up). But it turned out that she had internalized rules about shades of blue from her earliest working years, and understood them to be a yardstick for professionalism, rather than a technological limitation.

      Our photocopiers were just fine with “too showy blue.”

      1. Observer*

        I cut her slack because older photocopiers were (by design?) unable to see “non-photo blue” (which was then used for mark-up).

        Yes, this was by design.

    6. My Boss is Dumber than Yours*

      I had a boss who insisted that only her notes could be on yellow legal pads (8.5 by 14), and her sales staff all had to take notes on white paper at letter size (8.5 by 11). She also insisted that whenever we ordered new pads of paper, we order equal amounts for her…this naturally resulted in us having an insane amount of unused yellow legal pads, since six sales people obviously go through way more smaller pages of paper than one boss. The guy who trained me rolled his eyes when he explained the rule, then opened a desk drawer to show a whole stack of the yellow legal pads. He told me to make sure to save space in my desk for them, because boss regularly ran out of room and stashed them in the employees’ desks, but to under no circumstances ever use it. If I accidentally did, he said to sneak the whole legal pad out of the office, because boss would lose it if she saw a missing page and/or a piece of yellow paper in a trash can.

      2. MigraineMonth*

        I’m kind of amazed by this. Just the sheer dedication it takes to have so many pads you have to put them in employees’ desks but still not allow the employees to use them. This is true dedication right here.

    7. I Have RBF*

      My first job was working for a medical diagnostic pharmaceutical company. All, and I mean ALL, of our documents had to be written in blue or black ink, no pencil, no whiteout, no highlighter, nothing but dark blue or black ink, preferably indelible ink at that. Even now, medical records and research have to be in blue or black indelible ink, with black being preferred. (See https://www.uhhospitals.org/-/media/Files/For-Clinicians/Research/alcoac-documentation.pdf for an example.)

      I still use indelible ink – Uniball Signo 207 with purple ink – but sometimes will use the Pilot Varsity disposable fountain pens with purple ink. Yes, I’m a bit of a pen snob.

      1. Yzziefrog*

        I worked several years for a pharma distributor and the GMP rules of documentations are seared into my brain. I still label the stuff in my freezer as 01-FEB-2024 and I do not own a single gel pen :)

    8. Lonesome Beet*

      That’s freakin hilarious—at one place I used to work the owner’s wife made a rule that blue pens were forbidden and sent the (naturally horribly embarrassed) office manager around to collect any we might have. Apparently she’d come to believe that blue ink wouldn’t photocopy properly.

      I wish I’d thought to keep a copy of the employee manual because it was full of weird arbitrary dress code rules. We weren’t allowed to wear denim or T-shirts, but shorts were okay.

      1. MigraineMonth*

        I worked as an election official in 2022. We were pretty nervous given how high anti-election official sentiment was running in the country, but fortunately the only “incident” we had to log was someone putting blue pens just outside the polling area with a sign saying not to trust the provided pens because they were black.

        As far as election conspiracies go it seemed pretty harmless, but I couldn’t figure out how it was supposed to work.

    9. Chirpy*

      In middle school I had a teacher who only wanted blue or black ink.

      So I used a turquoise pen…it’s blue…

  33. desk platypus*

    I worked in the back offices at my previous job but I would sometimes come out to help at the public service desks to cover lunch breaks. I would wear headphones with low volume to help me concentrate on work and get into the zone for long stretches of work, but only one bud in so I could still hear my phone or anyone needing to get my attention. The workers at one of the service desks complained that it wasn’t fair I could listen to music at work and they couldn’t. I thought it was obvious as to why you can’t wear headphones when dealing with patrons. I pointed out that I took them off on the floor and I was easy to reach. I never missed phone calls and my chair was positioned so I could always see people approaching my back desk.

    They pitched such a fit I wasn’t allowed to listen to music at work anymore. I should have pushed harder on it, but I ended up getting a fairly expensive bluetooth earbud (when they weren’t easy to find) in a color close to my skin tone and covered my ear with my hair. No one found out!

    1. WDD*

      This reminds me of an old workplace where we weren’t allowed to listen to music with headphones, just in case a colleague needed our attention, but we were allowed to wear those giant ear defenders you only find on building sites or airport runways… the ones designed to block out any and all sound.

  34. Ama*

    Well currently at my work (which is mostly a three days in office hybrid schedule), we get a handful of extra WFH days (which we got begrudgingly after a LOT of junior staff push back when we went back to the office). But you can only take a full WFH day, not a half (all our other PTO can be taken in full day or half day increments). Which completely negates the main reason people wanted extra work from home, if you or a family member has an appointment closer to your home than the office and it would be easier to WFH half a day and take PTO for the other half.

    I suspect some people take a WFH day and just go to the appointment without charging PTO if they think no one will notice (which since we can all get Teams and email on our phone is highly probable) and I really don’t blame them.

    1. spotphilo*

      Bizarre! When I was hired, my work place let you use sick time by the hour, so for example if you had to come in one hour late for a doctor’s appointment you could use 1 hr sick time and the rest was time worked. But unbeknownst to me they switched for a while to only letting you use sick time in half day increments, which I discovered because I was pregnant and carefully scheduling my monthly OB visits as early as I could in the morning so I could get back to work around 10am, and my paychecks kept being larger than normal because they would pay me for half a sick day, plus the whole day minus 1hr I actually worked. Which was sort of nice at the time, but I ended up giving birth AND having COVID during the same fiscal year, and running out of sick time 3 months from the reset date, which when you’ve got an infant in daycare is a long time to bank on not getting sick. They’ve since switched back to letting you take it in 2hr increments, thankfully.

    2. Bast*

      My current job only allows days off in full increments as well. To be fair, I am salaried, and we have a little bit of flexibility– ie: I can come in two hours late OR leave two hours early for an appointment without it counting against my PTO, but anything beyond that, I have to use a full day of PTO for.

  35. Barb*

    When I was an MBA student, I had a student job working for the Executive MBA program. I’d come in at 6:30 am on the two days a week that they met and unlock the suite where the classes were held, then go to the program office to get all the supplies for the executive classrooms. There was a utility cart but I was told by my boss that I could not use it because it looked unprofessional. So I had to carry everything and make many trips back and forth.

    It turned out this was just my irritating boss being irritating. I was also reprimanded for putting sharpened pencils in a cup point side up because someone might be injured. I refrained from responding that anyone in an executive MBA program ought to be smart enough to not get stabbed by a visible pencil point.

    Anyway, during the year that I worked there, my boss was fired. And HER boss asked why I never used the cart. A few months later, that boss was fired as well. So much drama.

  36. Wolf*

    Working in academia has weird standards. My old boss hated the colour aqua/turquoise so much she banned it.

    Our institute’s logo and the whole corporate identity merch was that colour.

      1. Wolf*

        I don’t know! But trying to ban the colour that all our official signage, pens, mugs, even the meeting room chairs were… it was so petty!

  37. Velomont*

    Regarding the no-humour/no-jokes office, I have a hard time picturing them wearing anything other than very conservative funeral-wear, or dark hooded robes. I wonder if they’re allowed to smile even?

  38. Brain the Brian*

    Non-exempt employees who work extra hours in an emergency without their direct supervisor’s approval can’t be paid for those hours. Which sounds reasonable until you have to work a life-or-death emergency while your boss is on a dayslong hike with no Internet or cell service and thus cannot grant approval until the emergency is over. I’m still bitter about HR’s inflexibility years after this particular incident.

      1. Brain the Brian*

        Yes, as I pointed out to them. They refused to listen, and ironically they cited the “audit risk” that an employee working without their supervisor’s approval presented. I guess I was just supposed to let this student (we’re education-adjacent) die?

          1. Brain the Brian*

            I almost did. Too long ago now to bother, and I think our new HR folks have reversed stance on this point of their accord.

      1. La Triviata*

        Years ago, I worked for a trade association that would have conferences. At the time I was there, the director of conferences would have a directive with the venue that only she could give guarantees for meals and such. She had a habit of disappearing – going shopping, getting a massage, having her hair cut, etc., and being unreachable. And, of course, the venue would need the guarantee, or we’d need a decision on something right when she was unreachable.

        1. MigraineMonth*

          I once worked at a small toy store owned by a woman who worked another job and never answered her phone. There was at least a 3-month stretch where a customer called long-distance almost every day to ask about a special-order doll and I told her a) I didn’t have the authority to place the order, b) the owner hadn’t responded to the last 10 messages and I doubted she would to this one, and c) all I could do was refund the money we’d accepted from the customer. Nope, the customer only wanted the doll. The customer would then go on at length about how inconvenient and costly the call was.

          In one insane situation I will never cite as an example of good customer service, I stopped by the store during a busy street fest (because I suspected my coworker was alone and otherwise wouldn’t get any break) and found her talking on the phone while also trying to check out a long line. I offered to help, and she just… handed to phone to me and left me with the checkout line while she went to do gift-wrap. My “Uh…” turned into “uh-huh, sorry, uh-huh” as soon as I recognized special-order customer. I was pretty slow typing in the barcodes for the customer (yes, typing in the barcode: our scanner didn’t work and the “solution” was to type in the barcode for every item) since I was multitasking. After a minute the first person in line got impatient and grabbed the phone out of my hand, said, “uh-huh, so sorry about that” into it, and waved for me to finish checking her out, so… I did! The phone was passed back to me, with the special order customer still complaining about the expense of the long-distance call, apparently unaware that they’d been talking to three different people, two of whom weren’t actually supposed to be working at the store at the time.

          In the least surprising twist of all time, the toy store went under two years later (without ever sending me my W-2 for the year), and I am quite sure that special order customer never did get their doll.

  39. Chairman of the Bored*

    I worked with a guy who had an prosthetic foot due to a motorcycle accident, his prosthesis was one of the “blade” types that is very obviously not a biological foot.

    We were visiting a construction site with a zero-tolerance requirement that everybody wear steel toes. If you didn’t have your own they would give you loaner toe caps that were held on with a big rubber band.

    Did this site make him wear a safety toe on his prosthesis? You know they did.

    Because the rubber band didn’t fit he wound up having to tape it on, resulting in an awkward assembly that he said increased his risk of a trip-and-fall injury but their stance was “rules are rules”.

    1. JSPA*

      Pretty sure OSHA rules are that every human foot must be protected, not that every person must have two protected feet, whether or not they have two feet.

      1. ScruffyInternHerder*

        I’m 99% certain that you’re correct.

        I’m 100% certain that I’ve come across power tripping ego-maniacs in the role of safety director on more than one jobsite, who would absolutely make ish up as they went along. Suffice it to say that though not the majority, also not outliers.

    2. ST*

      I’m baffled. Were they concerned about about a potential injury to his feet and toes that…don’t exist??

      1. Chairman of the Bored*

        I think it was just a case of middle-management flunkies who were following the absolute strictest interpretation of the rules because they were unable/unwilling to use their brains.

      2. Quill*

        I can see electrical risk (electricity could conduct in a prosthetic) but if it’s slip protection? Even in ludicrously stupid retail situations I have managed to get it across to management and health and safety that your slip-proof shoes will *increase* my likelihood of needing worker’s comp, I cannot reliably stand or walk in anything that does not properly support my collapsible ankles.

      3. N C Kiddle*

        The optics of someone walking around not in compliance with their overly strict policy, perhaps? Very silly.

    4. Database Developer Dude*

      That is justification for quitting on the spot with nothing lined up. I’ve got to be in more danger of injury because of your rules? Then you no longer need my services.

    5. LCH*

      get them to sign something stating they are making him do this so that in event he does injure himself because of this requirement, it is recorded that it was a requirement so he can sue.

      1. MigraineMonth*

        Yeah, the entire foot is steel! He’s gone above and beyond in the name of safety.

  40. Evil Queen of Dysfunction*

    I worked for a franchise company that owned a half dozen Fast Casual restaurants. So Lots of team members, lots of names.
    I was on the senior staff and we literally had a 4 hour meeting because the lady who ran payroll and one of the owners would not allow people to go by their nicknames or have nicknames on their name tags. Everyone had to be referred to by their full first name.

    I am not talking like cutsy nicknames like “My boyfriend calls me sweetie bun. I want that on my name tag.”

    They did not want people to go by actual shortened versions of first names like “My parents named me Antigone but I go by Annie for short. ”

    OR someone is named after their dad like Augustus Ceaser but dad goes by Augustus and the son goes by Ceasar. Augustus Ceasar could not go by Ceasar because it was not his legal first name. Even though he had been called Ceasar since the day he was born.

    The payroll lady didn’t like nicknames because if by some chance someone was referred to by their nickname it was harder for her to find it in the system.

    The owner didn’t like nicknames because he “did not approve of nicknames. ” I suspect this was from some sort of trauma from childhood where he was tormented by the Banana Fana Fo Fana song.

    3. new name blues*

      lol I changed my name legally and began to go by my middle name. I had this put on my employee ID. When my boss introduced me to a new coworker using my old name, I corrected her with my new one and she said “yeah, but we don’t know if that’s what we are going to call you.” It was so weird. Happened almost a decade ago but I think about it all the time.

      2. NotSoRecentlyRetired*

        My mom went by a nickname of her middle name for her entire life. Even her HS annual shows her by that name, which I only found out after she passed 5 years ago. When she got married in the late ’50s she legally used her maiden name for her middle name, she no longer had even the initial of her nickname in her name. (think Jennifer Kathleen Johnson, became Jennifer Johnson Smith, still going by Kathy).
        When she was in a rehab facility after her stroke, her friends couldn’t get in touch with her because they didn’t have a “Kathy Smith” registered, and they had more than one “Mrs. Smith”.
        She also had an “aka” registered with her bank so that she could accept checks as Kathy Smith.

      3. Avery*

        Oh, that reminds me of when I started going by my chosen name, which I was playing off as a nickname for anyone I wasn’t ready to come out to. This included management at Goodwill, where I was a retail grunt at the time.
        I asked if I could switch to using my new name on my work shirt.
        The answer? Only if ALL my work shirts used my new name. Which meant getting rid of my old work shirts and buying all new ones. Out of my own pocket, naturally.
        I… did not switch to my new name there. And quit not too long after, though for mostly unrelated reasons. (Being a retail grunt did not suit me.)

    4. Scarlet ribbons in her hair*

      I’m reminded of a former company where there was a list of employees and their extensions, and one employee was listed as Debbie, because that was what she wanted to be called, and that’s what everyone called her. One day, when Debbie was out to lunch, a client called and wanted to know the spelling of Debbie’s name, because she wanted to send Debbie a letter. I spelled Debbie’s last name, but the client insisted that I tell her if Debbie’s first name was spelled Debra or Deborah. I didn’t know. I said that the client could address the letter to Debbie LastName, but she insisted that she needed Debbie’s proper first name (not a nickname!). I suggested that she address the letter to D. LastName, but that wasn’t good enough. She kept insisting that she needed the spelling of Debbie’s proper first name (not a nickname!). I asked everyone in the office if they knew if Debbie spelled her name Debra or Deborah, and no one knew. The client was furious. I don’t remember what happened, but I’m guessing that the client had to wait for Debbie to call her back to tell her how to spell her name.

      1. NotRealAnonForThis*

        That reminds me of a ten minute go-round in high school that I witnessed:

        Teacher “Jennifer King?”
        Jenny King “My first name is Jenny; here.”
        Teacher “I will only use legal first names for roll call”
        JK “Fantastic, as the name on my birth certificate is Jenny”
        Teacher “No it isn’t, you can’t use a nickname on a birth certificate”
        JK “But its not my nickname, its the name that my parents gave me”
        Teacher “No they didn’t”
        JK “Um…yes they did”

        This…went on.

        This was ridiculous to the point that JK requested permission to go to the office, and returned with her enrollment papers/record (and a vice principal who wanted to know WhatTF and WhyTF.). Guess what? Her name was NOT Jennifer. Even after that, I think it took a phone call from Jenny’s MOM and a week’s worth of malicious compliance (think….audible “who? We don’t have a Jennifer….”) from the whole room to get her to stop calling her Jennifer.

        That teacher was very unpleasant.

        1. Glad I'm out of the rat race*

          My mom was Roberta, went by Bobbie, got called “Bertie” by some of her more malicious high school classmates which she hated (this was the ’50s, the adults shrugged it off) and so was DETERMINED that I should have a given name that no one could turn into a nickname.

          And I spent the first few days of every school year convincing my teachers that no, the class enrollment list did NOT show my nickname, that was my actual given name on my birth certificate. It got to the point where I’d make Mom dig out my birth certificate right before school started every autumn. This was the ’60s and ’70s so copiers weren’t that great and it had an embossed state seal on it, so no way they could accuse me of presenting an altered one.

          1. Seashell*

            I know someone who was named Tricia on her birth certificate, because her mother feared that Patricia with the nickname Tricia would be turned into Patty and Mom hated the name Patty.

          2. Broken Lawn Chair*

            Long ago Readers Digest or some similar publication had a story of parents who carefully chose a name that they thought couldn’t be made into any nickname: Amber. When Amber got home from the hospital, her big brother said, “Hi, Amberger!” If people are determined to make a nickname, they’ll find a way.

            1. It's not short for anything.*

              My parents (both of whom have spent their lives with names that have multiple variations of nicknames) purposely named all three of their kids with names with no established nicknames (think “Brian” or “Helen”). All three of us ended up with nicknames that are totally unrelated to our actual given names. I gave my son a common nickname for my dad’s full name (not the same nickname that Dad uses, since I didn’t want my son to have to share his name with anyone). Darned if people don’t assume that “Van” is actually short for “Sullivan,” like his grandpa who goes by “Sully.”

              1. Mother of Corgis*

                My parents did this too because my mom hated her name and always went by a nickname. My dad met her in a class with multiple people with his first name, and decided to go by a middle name that just stuck. Joke was on them. While I never got a nickname, my brothers ended up with the nicknames “Brillo” and “Xerox.”

        2. ThursdaysGeek*

          My brother-in-law’s legal name is Danny. And my brother Terry is really annoyed when people think they should call him Terrance.

          1. Avery*

            Similarly, my mother’s name is Beth. Not Elizabeth, not Bethany, just Beth. It’s her full name, not a nickname.
            I can only assume that my grandmother Betty had similar issues. Yes, Betty was her name on her birth certificate.

            1. BeachMum*

              Yet my child Elizabeth always gets asked what people call them. Really and truly, they’ve only ever been called Elizabeth…except when my husband or I add their middle name. Fortunately, people finally believe Elizabeth now that they are (mostly) a grown-up.

        3. Adds*

          Ugh. My daughter’s Kindergarten teacher was like that. We call my daughter Nolie, it’s a shortened name. She was not allowed to go by Nolie in class by her teacher because “I don’t know no Nolie. In MY class she can only be [full name]. If you wanted her to be called Nolie at school you should have registered her as that name.” And she was mad I had labeled all her (non-communal) supplies with “Nolie.” Said child graduated from high school last May and that awful teacher was The Only teacher in 13 years of school who ever had a problem with it.

      2. FricketyFrack*

        Ooh she’d hate me. My legal name is a common nickname for a longer name, but my mom specifically gave me the short form because she haaaates the other common nickname people use – think naming me Beth instead of Elizabeth because she never wanted anyone to call me Liz (obviously not my real name). I’m guessing that client might have had an aneurysm at the suggestion that Debbie was the employee’s full name.

      3. MigraineMonth*

        I briefly ran errands for a woman who insisted all correspondence to married women should be addressed to her husband’s name, e.g. Mrs. Joe Smith. Since my mom didn’t change her last name when she married, it seemed particularly ridiculous to use my dad’s full name when writing to her.

        Then again, recently I’ve been receiving official government correspondence addressed to “Spouse of MigraineMonth”. Since that person doesn’t exist, I’m not 100% sure if I’m allowed to throw it out or if that counts as tampering with the mail.

        1. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

          Write “ADDRESSEE UNKNOWN” on it and put in the outgoing mail. The Postal Service will send it back where it came from. Easy-peasy! 8-D

    5. RetiredAcademicLibrarian*

      My great-grandmother didn’t approve of nicknames, so gave her children names that couldn’t be shortened and no middle names. Her daughters all had nicknames unrelated to their real first names (like Peggy for Jane). Her son did go by his given name.

  41. Hawk*

    From my old job:
    No directional signage was allowed in a museum open to the public that was on the lower level of a business complex owned by the company. We didn’t have hours listed until I had been there over a year and the hours were the size of a 3×5 note card on one of the entry doors.

    From my current (government) job:
    You cannot leave to work for a new job unless the new job has been approved by the government ethics committee. I understand if you’re going to work multiple jobs why they might be strict about that, but leaving for a new position in a different organization? We’re smaller than state level.

    We also are supposed to call library patrons “customers” and I hate it.

    1. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

      > You cannot leave to work for a new job unless the new job has been approved by the government ethics committee. I understand if you’re going to work multiple jobs why they might be strict about that, but leaving for a new position in a different organization?

      I actually wouldn’t classify this one as ‘ridiculous’, because the intent of that policy must be to prevent (or at least get on a risk register of some kind) cases where someone leaves the government org with some ‘insider’ knowledge, that they then use to the benefit of the new employer but the detriment of the government… such as “how assessment criteria work for program x, so we can find loopholes in it at company y”.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        Or if they had a problem in the past with people leaving the government positions to work at other places as a kind of kickback for favors.

      2. NotRealAnonForThis*

        I can understand that reasoning, but at the same time, I’m not sure how their application of the reasoning can be legal (in the United States).

      4. Librarian of Things*

        This might be reasonable if you are working for, say, a bank regulator and there could be an ethical issue raised about a bank courting your to work for them next. Maybe. But, the fact is that bank regulator employees use the revolving door to bank compliance departments every day.

        This is not reasonable if you work at a public library, no matter how big or small. There are no insider secrets of libraries that publishers/book jobbers don’t already know. (Top tip, free for the taking without ethics complications: if you want me to buy your book, make sure you get it reviewed by Kirkus, BookList, School Library Journal, New York Times, etc., not your next door neighbor.)

        1. Emmy Noether*

          I happen to know a bunch of people who work(ed) in banking authorities, and the rule is usually that you can’t go work for those banks you directly supervised/audited. They have to let you go work for the rest (even though you may be, say, good friends with the guy who supervises them), because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to leave at all without completely changing careers.

      5. Laura*

        How is this legal? There can’t FORCE you to stay in a job. And why would this apply to library jobs anyway??

    2. Pikachu*

      Customers! I hate that too! Libraries are one of the few places left we can hang out and not be expected to spend money. Calling us customers feels icky.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        I hate it, too!

        And it seems weird since now a lot of businesses now call their customers “guests.”

    3. Pretty as a Princess*

      The ethics thing actually makes sense to me, but the implementation is a little backward from what I am used to.

      We are on a government contract and if we are extending an offer to an external candidate who works for (or has worked for within X time) the government in question, there is a requirement that their E&C office fill out some paperwork with them to ensure that the hire is legal. There are certain types of jobs you can’t legally go to immediately from government organizations – in general this boils down to a verification that you were not in a position to influence the external organization in exchange for a job/favorable hiring consideration. (Google “Darleen Druyun Downfall” for a great example.)

  42. Ann Onymous*

    One person chose not to put on sunscreen on their legs and got burned, so nobody was allowed to wear shorts anymore. This job was outdoors in the summer, and it was miserable to be in long pants all day.

  43. ChemistbyDay*

    At a past job (at a review!), I was told I couldn’t read books during breaks because it showed “workplace disassociation”. Chatting was ok, but reading was off the table. Not surprisingly, I 1. began looking for a new job and 2. began taking all of my breaks off site.

    1. Magnus Archivist*

      This reminds me of a call center (incoming calls only) job I had where coworkers brought in coloring books for when it was slow. I brought in knitting and my manager reacted with both horror and distain (did I break an unspoken workplace rule? still not sure, 20 years later.). I was quickly whisked away to a closet to stuff envelopes while my colleagues got to keep coloring. Still annoyed about it.

      1. Mad Harry Crewe*

        Given that I used to knit through all of our All Hands Meetings, no. There is no unspoken workplace rule that knitting is worse than coloring books.

      2. N C Kiddle*

        Our call centre was more consistent in that any activity while waiting for the system to be functional was frowned upon for nebulous reasons. We weren’t being paid enough to care, so my colleague kept working on her beautiful appliqué and I kept making notes on the novel I was revising.

    2. Euphony*

      My work requires receipts for all expenses to be claimed back. They also require all transport options to be the cheapest reasonable option for your travel plans. Failing to do either of these consistently will get flagged to your manager – all sounds very sensible so far, right?
      If I need to visit our London office, I can buy an all day Travelcard for the London Underground for £15.20 and get a receipt. Or I can use my contactless debit card at the barriers for a total cost of £5.60, which does not give a receipt.
      Either option results in a policy exception needing to be signed off.

      2. NotRealAnonForThis*

        Proving that what absolutely sounds sensible (receipts and cheapest reasonable options) can really be ridiculous in practice!

        Had to get a review and sign off once because the cheapest option in the system was not reasonable, but had to be input as not reasonable by a manager (an 8 hour layover 2 states out of the way instead of a 2 hour direct flight….that was the level of ridiculous. Yes, it was half the cost…but even the more expensive cost was under a thousand round trip!)

      3. perstreperous*

        If you register your debit card with Transport for London you can get a receipt. (A PDF of the last 7 day’s travel which you can download from your account).

  44. Alex*

    I know this is common in the industry, but when I worked in a gym, I was not allowed to tell potential members how much membership cost. Not on the phone, not if they walked in and asked, nothing. Management insisted that they were only told if they met with a membership specialist and got a tour of the facility. But they were not always available to do so, so I spent a lot of time just telling people sorry, they were out of luck unless they wanted to make an appointment to come back on another day for the tour.

    In practice, this resulted in large numbers of potential customers walking out in anger or hanging up on me in disgust. Management insisted it was a better way to do business because they didn’t want the price to scare people away. The kicker is that it was one of the better gym deals around.

    2. Bast*

      One of the biggest turn offs for me in… well.. ANYTHING is when I cannot find a price. Go online to look at a menu and can’t find prices for a new place? Will go somewhere else. Looking at yoga class members where they don’t even give me a rough idea of how much it costs? Will go somewhere else. I don’t like surprise prices, and I think it wastes everyone’s time when something is totally outside of an individual’s price range and they’ve wasted all that time trying to woo them to sign up for something only to discover it isn’t feasible at all. Not to mention, convenience is king these days. For every place that refuses to list their prices online and makes you go through the whole hassle of calling this person and that person, touring, showing up, etc., I can go online and find 5 other places that do list prices.

    3. Daria Grace*

      Researching gyms now and this drives me mad. It’s not even the talking to someone in person that bothers me, seeing what their customer service is like is part of what I’m wanting to find out. It’s the handing over my contact details which will likely result in me getting spammed and cold called by them until the end of time

  45. Poison I.V. drip*

    I had a manager who insisted that sentences could not begin with the word “No.” If I wrote “No hazards were detected,” he’d have me change it to “Hazards were not detected.” I never understood why. Was it for liability? Some imaginary grammar rule? I never found out.

    1. Similarly situated*

      This isn’t quite as bad, but I worked what was essentially a claims examining job where we couldn’t say “failed to.” It was deemed too mean.

      1. Goldenrod*

        This wasn’t a policy – so not totally crazy – but there is strong cultural pressure to never use the word “problems.” We never have problems, only “challenges.”

        1. Agnes Grey*

          I used to have a boss who wouldn’t even use the word “challenge” – it was an “opportunity”! The toxic positivity was strong with that one….

      2. Sorry About That*

        I worked at a taco place in college where we weren’t supposed to say “Sorry about that” because it sounded “insincere.” My friend worked down the street at a western-themed hamburger place where she had to say “Howdy, Pardner!” to greet people at the drive-through.

    2. Ali + Nino*

      Probably to maintain an air of “positivity.” At one job our boss recommended we sign off emails with “If you have any questions…” but not “If you have any questions or concerns” because the latter might prompt a client to come up with something they’re unhappy about.

    3. The Gollux, Not a Mere Device*

      *sigh* If someone told me “hazards were not detected” I would be wondering “OK, where are the hazards hiding?” I suppose “zero hazards were detected” or “we detected no hazards” wouldn’t have been acceptable either.

    4. Emily Byrd Starr*

      The only thing that I can think of is that he thought someone might mistake it for the abbreviation for number.

      1. Evan Þ*

        Or, conceivably, a speck of dust might be mistaken for a comma?

        “No hazards were detected.”
        “No, hazards were detected.”

      2. lazuli*

        I actually wondered if he had heard/read somewhere that sentences shouldn’t start with numerals, and he confused “numerals” with “nos.” with “No” somehow.

    5. Abundant Shrimp*

      I had a boss who told me (and a few others) off when during meetings, when asked a question, we’d start our answer with “I think”

      “You should KNOW”

      Sir, we are SWEs. We are paid to think.

    6. Little Miss Sunshine*

      I remember reading one of my daughter’s syllabi when she was still in high school and the teacher had a very long list of “DO NOT…”. I hated the woman before I ever laid eyes on her. I rewrote the list in a more positive tone to demonstrate for my daughter how you can completely change the tone by simply rewording the rule, and thus be more successful in persuading your audience and influencing behavior. I suspect this rule from your manager is a perversion of this guideline.

  46. Call Center*

    I worked at a call center during graduate school and like every call center they were about calls per hour and time away from your phone. We had scheduled bathroom breaks and if you went to the bathroom before your scheduled break you had to stay 5 minutes late. We didn’t accrue vacation or sick time, but we’d accrue “credit points” and every credit point was worth 30 minutes of PTO and you could only accrue four credit points a month. Every time you called out or scheduled time off, you used credit points. If you called out two days in a row, your credit points were all eliminated regardless of how much time you’d accrued. They had a policy of not accepting FMLA, doctor’s notes, or allowing bereavement leave. They also strongly recommended pregnant employees quit. That was only seven years ago.

    2. Ostrich Herder*

      Four credit points a month? At 30 minutes a pop? You could accrue a maximum of TWO HOURS off a month? A day off every four months, if you didn’t use a single one of your ‘points’ before then? I’m absolutely gobsmacked.

    3. Anon for this*

      Oh I’ve remembered one! At my partner’s call center job, there was a married couple who were both on the phones there. When the wife got up to use the bathroom, she would wave at her husband as she went by his desk. That’s it – just a wave, no chatting. It’s a small room so you basically have to go by everyone to get to the bathroom. The Powers that Be didn’t like her having such a fun time on her way to the bathroom that they wrote her a prescribed route to the bathroom that wouldn’t go near her husband’s desk. You know, so she wouldn’t be stealing from the company by…waving to her husband.

    5. lilsheba*

      This is why I will never work for a call center again, especially for a bank *cough WF cough* They treat you like children and make it a huge pain in the butt to take pto, bitch at you about going to the bathroom outside of your scheduled breaks, it was impossible to ever get a day off on a holiday. It used to be ok in the 90s and early 2000s but now it’s demoralizing and will make you want to go live on another planet.

  47. Reedy*

    When working at well known private university (you’ve definitely heard of it) you had to apply for a posted job to get a promotion/raise. So that means even after your boss approved your raise or promotion, you had to wait for HR to open a new job posting, post it on their public jobs board, keep it open for 30 days, go through all of the hoops of applying (cover letter, resume, application which was about 100 questions long and mostly just rehashing your resume) and then wait for HR to decide you were a good fit. Again, this was after all the internal approvals and sign-offs with HR and finance and your boss had already happened. Sometimes they required a phone screen. Even if your job title wasn’t changing and you were literally just getting a small salary bump, you had to complete this process and reapply for your job. When I asked I was told it was an effort to “keep everything fair.”

    1. Brain the Brian*

      Sigh. We used to do this where I work (aside from annual COL increases). A new HR director eliminated it a couple of years ago, thank goodness.

    3. Cyndi*

      This happened to me at my old job except that the “promotion” was to the job I was already doing, to solve a bureaucratic mixup where I somehow had a job title a level below my teammates and was in a lower salary band as a result. My manager and I both thought this was incredibly goofy but HR insisted.

    4. JS*

      We do “re-classify” which involves proving you’re doing a certain amount of extra work and already doing it before you get the title change. Which does not always come with actual pay. *roll eyes*

    5. So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out*

      Even for just a raise? Did you have to do this once a year or did they at least give COL increases?

    6. Ama*

      I’ve heard of so many institutions that do this.

      One institution where I knew several researchers (I work at a nonprofit research funder), that research unit got tired of losing all their good admins every couple of years, so they would just arrange to basically do musical chairs with the admins — they’d all just get “rehired” at the promoted level and work for different researchers but at least within the same department so they at least knew how all the department level processes worked. It also had the added bonus that if admins went on vacation or leave it was way easier for the other admins to cover for them.

  48. Chalant AF*

    I worked for a financial services firm that made it a standard practice to lie to financial advisor candidates and tell them that they were interviewing for a regional director job, “but it’s a technicality that you have to spend a little time being a financial advisor at one of our offices first.” There was never a regional director job opening — it was all an act to flatter their egos and get them in the door. My audits with these folks were always very awkward when they would explain condescendingly that I shouldn’t waste too much time on them because they were only here until their REAL job started…

      1. linger*

        Guessing a new “regional director” ad went out for a new short-term financial advisor; rinse and repeat…

  49. Harper*

    At my last company, we manufactured personal care products (in the U.S.) and had a European customer that required employees in the manufacturing area to wear hairnets. Then, the company I worked for ended the relationship with that customer. No other customers required hairnets, and no companies who made similar products in the industry required their employees to wear hairnets. But two director and VP-level people at our corporate office (in another state) wanted to keep the hairnets because they thought it made the employees look “serious” about the quality of the products, and would impress customers when they visited (which was typically less than 3 or 4 times a year, total). The manufacturing area wasn’t properly air conditioned, and the style of hairnets actually trapped a considerable amount of heat against the wearer’s head. Making employees miserable every day for appearances’ sake and to impress customers 3-4 times a year, who didn’t even care to begin with, was the absolute dumbest reason for a policy I’ve ever heard.

  50. MikeM_inMD*

    My company has a large pack of annual mandatory training courses. You’re required to do it in your birth month. Yeah, nothing says “happy birthday!” like 16 hours of boring powerpoints presentations, where over half of it has no bearing on your actual job.

      1. MikeM_inMD*

        Unfortunately, it’s tied to your birth *month*. The bureaucracy doesn’t play “The Pirates of Penzance” game.

    3. Ama*

      ooh I would extra hate this at my current job where I spend one week of my birth month running an out of state conference every year so I’d have one fewer week to do this.

    4. Annie*

      Wow, not even a “We can’t schedule based on date of hire because we don’t hire continuously throughout the year, and we can’t schedule everyone’s training for the same time of year because of limited availability of training resources or competing demands with other job duties” justification?

      1. MikeM_inMD*

        Ironically, my start date is the day before my birthday. But using that *might* remove the feeling of being served a slice of birthday cake with onion icing.

  51. AC*

    I once had a salaried job where you would get comp time for coming on time and staying late, but not coming in early and staying until your usual end time. It didn’t matter what your shift was.

    This worked out great for the people who worked from 8am-4pm and were quarterly asked to stay until 6pm. Not so great for me and some others, who regularly worked 10am-6pm, and were quarterly asked to come in at 8:00am and stay until our usual 6:00pm.

    At the end of the day, we’d all work the same 10 hours. But nope, the policy only gave comp time to those who stayed late.

    2. Comp time anon*

      I worked a salaried job where we got comp time (up to a cap that I quickly hit, but it was nice to not use PTO for occasional appointments, so that was fine). I was then transferred to work under a different manager at the same job who thought all comp time had to be approved two weeks in advance and didn’t like doing that. He switched me to a different compensation system, so I lost those accrued hours and wasn’t paid for them. That was probably wrong, but after confirming that there hadn’t been a mistake, I wasn’t in a position to rock the boat.

      We all worked the same hours under this new manager, we just didn’t get comp time or any schedule flexibility. Come in an hour early, leave an hour late, and want to take 45 minutes instead of 30 for lunch? That’s 15 minutes of PTO. I would’ve been okay with that system except that I’d had years of being more productive in the same job without that degree of clock-watching.

  52. ConstantlyComic*

    My first job was at a state historic site that was a moderately popular tourist destination. We were open Tuesday-Saturday, while some other sites were open Monday-Friday, and of course we were closed for holidays. One year the 4th of July fell on a Saturday, and the state said for us to close on Friday, July 3rd, in observance of the 4th. We were then open on the actualy 4th of July.

    To this day I don’t know if the site manager didn’t have the power to close us on the 4th and was jerking the staff around by saying he was thinking about it or if he actively chose to have us be open on the actual federal holiday, but nobody was happy with him for it.

    1. Ama*

      It kind of seems like the state maybe messed this one up here and didn’t realize you guys weren’t a M-F site.

      1. ConstantlyComic*

        It was more that they were applying the same blanket policy to all sites, whether they were open Saturdays or not

    2. Cat Tree*

      Somewhat related thing happened at a previous job. This was manufacturing, but I was an engineer so I worked generally days M-F like a standard office job. The shop floor was different. They used to manufacture 24/5 with weekends off, so the union negotiated to have Good Friday (the Friday before Easter) as a paid vacation day. Eventually they moved to 24/7 manufacturing. But they still had Good Friday as a paid holiday and had to work (or take PTO) for the actual Easter day.

  53. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

    Not a policy so much as a consequence of one – absolutely no personal possessions could be left in the office overnight, not so much as a notepad or a coffee mug. This is the obvious result of a hot-desking policy when facilities hadn’t gotten around to installing lockers yet, or once they were finally installed to actually assigning them, but nobody was in any hurry to fix it – it was over a year from when the hot-desking policy was adapted until we finally got lockers assigned.

    1. lilsheba*

      That is the most horrible situation I can think of. I hate not having a personal space.

  54. RPOhno*

    I remember a former employer released a new policy that, the way it was worded, required anything any employee did outside of work that generated money to be reviewed and approved in writing by General Counsel. Not the Legal Department. Not HR or the ethics committee. General Counsel. I assume it was just unintentionally broad phrasing, but I am gleefully imagining the chief legal rep for the company being flooded with emails to the tune of “I am planning to sell my bottlecap collection on ebay. I expect to generate revenue of approximately $0.37. Please indicate in writing your approval of this action.”

    1. Bumblebee*

      Our first attempt at a Conflict of Interest policy stated “All outside-of-work activities must be approved!” Luckily there was no malicious compliance outside of some laughter . . . “tonight I’ll be at aerobics and then dinner . . .”

    2. Venus*

      I once had something similar except that it also included any volunteer activities. Thankfully they announced it in a meeting and got some quick feedback about the reality of what they were asking. Very shortly after that we were told that it should be limited to similar employment that could result in conflicts of interest, which happened to be the original policy.

  55. Magnus Archivist*

    I once worked at a museum where visitor services staff weren’t allowed to sit down or lean at the ticket counters, so we had to spend our 6-8 hour shifts standing on hard marble floors. I know it’s the same *everywhere* in American retail, but definitely a ridiculous policy.

    2. Cyndi*

      This is how my mom once got heatstroke working as a museum guard in NYC in the late 70s or early 80s. I think she loved that job otherwise, though.

    3. Ama*

      Ugh, my nonprofit work used to have our big fundraising gala in a place with marble floors and standing on those for just one evening killed my back — I can’t imagine having to do that regularly!

    4. Esmae*

      “If you’re leaning, you could be cleaning!” I used to windex my checkout counter just to make myself look busy enough.

  56. Elle*

    At my first job in an NYC museum most staff were not allowed to attend large Museum events because our appearances were not good enough for rich donors. I made $20k a year in the year 2000. All board members were million or billionaires

    1. Washi*

      I posted in one of the food threads about an annual donor event at the nonprofit I worked at as an Americorps member where we were expected to go but not allowed to eat the food.

      1. AnonORama*

        That’s RUDE to do that to the AmeriCorps! I never get to eat at our events, but at least I’m staff so I’m kind of paid a sort of semi-decent wage.

        (Side note: if you don’t want donors to see staff members sneaking a handful of trail mix into their mouth from a bag under the table they’re working — let staff eat! And OF COURSE the AmeriCorps folks.)

        1. Elle*

          But we should have been grateful that we got to work in such an important place that does such good work in the community.

  57. Lisa*

    I worked for a company once who made you plan all of your vacation days up front at the beginning of the year and wouldn’t allow them to be changed if something came up. Weirdest vacation policy I’ve ever heard of and there was literally no logical reason for it other than the person in charge was a control freak.

    1. JanetM*

      That was the policy at the grocery store where my husband worked: all vacation time for the year had to be requested by mid-February, and it had to be taken as full weeks (Sunday-Saturday) only. We missed both times his brother got married because they didn’t announce the dates a year in advance.

    2. doreen*

      Choosing the dates up front is actually pretty common in some fields , and so is possibly being unable to change if something comes up – but there’s a difference between ” You can’t change because someone else has that week and we need coverage” and “You can’t change even if no one is off the week you want to switch to. ” The latter is definitely a control freak.

    3. Lis*

      One place I worked the HR person decided to implement this policy on our site, no other site in the organisation did this. If you did change vacation days it could be allowed in certain circumstances but counted against you in your annual review. Then I started working there and pointed out that 3 months previously I had signed a contract which stated that there were notice periods required for vacation time (think one week for 1-2 days, 3 weeks for 1-2 weeks and 2 months for >2 weeks) and having to give 9+ months notice for a week off in December was definitely not in keeping with my contract.
      The policy died a quiet death that year. Was totally a power play by the HR person and when I was clear I wasn’t going to let it go, well the policy went away before it got kicked up to corporate.

  58. Three Cats in a Trenchcoat*

    I know that it is fairly common for business (particularly retail) to mandate that hair not be unnatural colors. However, it felt very silly when the movie theater I worked at instated the policy, given that we were required to wear branded baseball caps, and so very little of our hair was actually visible.

    1. Three Cats in a Trenchcoat*

      The uniform was also quite odd there, we had shirts that were issued but were allowed to wear our own black pants provided they DID NOT have pockets. I assume in order to prevent theft but it seemed like an absolutely bizarre way to do that.

    2. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      that’s actually why I dye my unnatural colors from the shoulders down (even though now I work from home at a company who’s dress code doesn’t prohibit them anyway) – so that when I put my hair up in a bun to go to work, you pretty much can’t see the unnatural colors anymore :)

    3. The Rafters*

      Semi-serious question: to the policies specifically state natural *Human* hair colors? Because purple can be found in nature and so can Tony the Tiger stripes.

      1. MC*

        I used to work at a movie theater with the same policy and one of the managers tried to get me in trouble for my “unnatural” hair color. It hadn’t been dyed for at least a year at that point. I just have red hair which apparently no one can have naturally

        1. Charlotte Lucas*

          I naturally have red-blonde streaks. So many times people have assumed it’s dyed. (Based on my skin tone, I’m not sure what color people think my hair would be “naturally.”)

          1. Avery*

            I feel you. I have one bright blonde streak in my otherwise darkish brown hair. It is very common for people to assume I got highlights. Nope, my hair just does that naturally.

      2. Enough*

        That was my response to my daughter’s school about natural colored nail polish. I pointed out orange was a natural color. What they really
        wanted was clear and pale pink.

      3. LadyVet*

        The Army’s policy, at least while I was in, was it had to be a color that was a natural hair color… but it didn’t have to be *your* natural color.

    4. Turtlewings*

      My bff had to wear a hairnet at work, since she was preparing food. She got away with pink ombre hair for over a year!

  59. reg*

    this wasn’t exactly on the books, but when i did overnights at target, people caught violating safety precautions had to wear a rubber chicken for the night.

  60. Lady vLookup*

    The interview process at my former place of employment.

    HR was obsessive about being “fair” to all of the candidates, so everyone was asked the exact same set of questions with NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS ALLOWED. Want to probe deeper into someone’s technical knowledge or management experience? Sorry, you’re out of luck! But at least everyone had the exact same interview experience.

    1. old curmudgeon*

      That is the case for the entire state government (over 50 different agencies, about 35,000 employees) in the state where I live. Hiring managers have to get the position descriptions approved by HR, the job description for the hiring website approved by HR, the metrics to gauge the resumes approved by HR, the interview questions approved by HR, and then the notes taken by every interviewer (because all interviews are done by a panel of three people) reviewed in depth and approved by HR, before an offer can be made to a candidate.

      Any guesses how long it takes to fill a vacancy in my state?

    2. doreen*

      OMG, did you work for the same government agency I did? We could neither ask follow up questions nor clarify the questions we did ask. We could only repeat the question because if we clarified, that candidate would have information the others didn’t.

    3. Bumblebee*

      We have this rule for my state agency as well (education). It is to prevent us from asking anything remotely diversity-related.

    4. SG*

      My experience is that this is pretty much standard operating procedure for most government hiring, whether it’s county, state, or federal. Maybe less so for municipal hiring.

  61. Elle*

    Maybe we should collect all the crazy museum stories in one place? Or is that more of a Friday open post thing.

    1. Pikachu*

      As someone trying to get back into the field, I want a whole Friday post so I know what I’m asking for LOL

    2. NothingIsLittle*

      As someone who currently works in a museum, I find it hilarious and absolutely as expected that so many of the stories are related to museums. It takes a certain type of person to handle running a museum and some of them are more high strung than others…

  62. Joyce to the World*

    I was one of several temps at a hospital The break room we were told to use had windows on all 4 walls. So you could see in, nothing was hidden. I was banned from having the same lunch and break times as another temp. Only the one other temp; who was an 18 yr old male. I was a chubby mid thirties female. Apparently it was unseemly for us to be in the room together at the same time.

  63. Fleur*

    I used to work at a college dining hall where I was only allowed to work 18 hours/week because “otherwise the dining hall would need to offer me health insurance.” We’re in the U.S. This was false and I pushed back on it, but to no avail.

    I used to work at a daycare where management (the director and assistant director) refused to do anything about staff concerns. If a staff member raised concerns about each other, the response from management was always “There’s nothing we can do. Just tell the other staff members that they’re wrong.” The daycare had live feed video cameras in each classroom. Management refused to watch the cameras unless there was a parent complaint (and sometimes not even then). Management would just sit at their desks all day – they rarely walked around the building to see what was actually going on in the classroom. They were surprised when I quit working there (after I worked there for 1.5+ years).

      1. Ama*

        I do wonder if the 18 hours was correct but they got the reason wrong — if the dining hall employed primarily students and had federal student work funds there can be hourly restrictions because the feds are intending those funds to make it possible for students to do part time work to supplement their studies, it’s not supposed to allow institutions to hire full time staff under the guise of student work.

        1. Fleur*

          This wasn’t the case – there was no valid reason to restrict my hours to only 18 hours/week.

  64. Cyndi*

    I have definitely talked about this in the comments before (including on the post before this) because I have to talk about this job routinely or I’ll start thinking I hallucinated the whole thing. I used to work in back end data entry at a megabank–not FOR the megabank, I was a “temp” assigned from a staffing agency for over two years. My team was about 20 permanent employees and 30 temps who all did fundamentally the same work, and the temp-to-perm pipeline was that every time a perm left (surprisingly rare) all the temps had to apply for that slot; as a result I applied for my own job, and was rejected, three times in those two years.

    The work environment was absurdly controlling.

    * I was once sent home to change, like a child, because I’d worn a pair of knee high flat boots I wore to work often–but they’d changed the dress code to only allow ankle high boots and hadn’t announced it. (Not heel height–shaft height.)
    * All personal items had to be left in lockers except a clear spillproof drink container (not translucent! clear!) a mp3 player that couldn’t be connected to your work computer (when I started, in 2017, the rule was ONLY gen 4 iPod Shuffles, but a few months later they generously loosened the policy and I got a SanDisk) and wired headphones.
    * These items had to be passed through security and inspected every morning. If you needed medication with you it had to be inspected and cleared by your manager.
    * You couldn’t have food of any kind at your desk, but you could bring hard candy or gum for everyone if security and your manager checked it first. Mostly we got whatever candy the company bought us in bulk. I ate so many Starbursts at this job that I can’t stand them any more.
    * When you exited through security, which you had to do to get to the bathrooms from your desk, you had to push a big red randomizer button, and there was a random 1/10 chance you would have to wait to be searched before you could leave the floor.
    * Your time was tracked to the minute and you were penalized for more than about 20 minutes/day “gap” time (any non-typing time outside scheduled breaks, like getting up for coffee, or that trek through security to the bathroom).
    * Also, we were once sent an envelope of mystery powder and the building had to be locked down and SWAT brought in, and the next week they handed out commemorative t-shirts(???) to congratulate us(?) for being omg so brave to come back to work the next day. We were paid hourly and none of our staffing agencies offered PTO so, like. What did they want from us.
    *I’m certain there are more policies that I’m forgetting.

    It was an absolutely unhinged level of control for $11-13/hr workers, especially considering we had to keep up such a high work pace that it was impossible to retain anything that went by anyway, and I’ve worked a lot of other places that handled similar levels of PII and didn’t treat employees like this at all. It was “butt in seat, type at top speed for 7 hours a day and we MEAN 7 hours a day” and for me, a person whose ADHD makes my brain start chewing on itself as soon as it has nothing else to do, it was absolute hell. I couldn’t even offload by writing stuff down for later, because while I was there they banned bringing scrap paper in and out.

    I used to tell people I worked in the opening scene of Brazil.

    1. Cyndi*

      Another one: in mid-2020, after I left this job, I ran into a guy who still worked there. He told me that the only concession they’d made to Covid safety, in an open workspace with fifty people crammed together, was putting everyone on a 4×10 instead of 5×8 schedule. Not sure what the thinking behind that was, or what good it did.

      1. Cyndi*

        I never had medication I needed to bring in personally so I don’t know how thorough it was, really, but the whole process was nonsense and over the top. I got talked to by my manager once because I had put a Chapstick up my sleeve, forgot it was there, and security spotted it when I was handing over my mp3 player on the way in.

        I did have to have a molar pulled while I was working there, and of course after you get a tooth pulled you’re not allowed to use drinking straws on pain of death or, worse, dry socket, but the only policy-compliant drink container I owned was a water bottle with a straw. I refused to buy another one, on principle, and for a couple weeks I was hydrating by furtively unscrewing the lid, taking a quick sip, and screwing it immediately back on.

        1. Corrigan*

          Yeah definitely all of that sounds way over the top! That’s just the hill I would choose to die on.

  65. Llama Llama*

    My giant company’s software can’t calculate people’s PTO if they were hired on Leap Day (and some other problems related to start date). So they ask that people don’t start that day.

    1. nora*

      I work for a state gov and we’re only allowed to start on the 10th and 25th of the month (first day of the pay period).

    2. Warrior Princess Xena*

      The amount of manual adjustments that go into any system dealing with calendar math is pretty staggering. It seems super simple at first, but then if you start adding state tax/labor laws, federal tax/labor laws, assorted paydates (bonus points for having different groups of employees paid on different schedules), pay types, etc etc etc – it becomes a complete mess. I have significant respect for every payroll person I’ve met who can competently deal with it.

    3. MonteCristo*

      Both companies I worked for were so bad at doing anything payroll related that differed slightly from normal, that they both only allowed hires on the first day of each payroll period, so basically only on the 1st or the 15th of the month.

  66. Anne of Green Gables*

    I know that Leap Day Employee gets a lot of mentions on this site, but Only Silver and Gold Jewelry LW is one that I think of often, and I ask for an update every time Alison asks which letters you hope for updates on at the holiday season. OP, if you are reading, what happened?? Did you get to wear your wedding ring at work??

    1. Wordnerd*

      I have somehow never heard of the jewelry letter until today! My engagement ring/wedding band are white gold but with a big amethyst and pave amethysts respectively, so I feel extremely connected to this person! I now join you in wanting an update!

    2. Csethiro Ceredin*

      I don’t remember this one either! I have several rose gold pieces – I wonder if they would ave been allowed? Not to mention various gems and stones of course.

  67. Problem!*

    I worked for a company that had two main major clients. The projects were large and complex enough that the clients had representatives on site full time. The clients did not get along with each other, and decided neither wanted the other’s reps to see details of each other’s projects. So it was decreed that if you were working on Project A when Project B’s people were nearby, you had to minimize all windows showing anything regarding project A and vice versa. We had an open floor plan office so you could see everyone’s screen’s without standing up, and the cubes were small enough that you could easily read your neighbor’s screen. I worked exclusively on Project B, but sat next to the lead for Project A. As a result the Project A rep spent most of his day in the cube next to mine so per policy I had to sit there with a blank screen doing nothing. This made the project rep for Project B furious because I was charging my time to his project but doing absolutely nothing to work on it because I was forbidden to do so by company policy requested by the clients. We did not have laptops so I could not get up and move either. They eventually got us privacy screen covers for our monitors and people gradually stopped following that rule because it was ridiculous and terrible for productivity.

    1. Mad Harry Crewe*

      Why wouldn’t they just group the employees by project? There was no reason that had to be your desk? ???

  68. Anon for this*

    I’ve experienced a lot of pointless BS policies in my working life, but nothing topped the first job I ever had at 16 because I wasn’t wearing a bra. To be clear, I was wearing a tank top under a sweater that covered everything completely, and I was as flat as a 12 year old boy, so there was no visual evidence of any cleavage, etc. I don’t even know how the manager knew I wasn’t wearing a bra. I still get annoyed thinking about it 40 years later.

      1. L*

        Like the time i was sent home from clerking in a department store, for wearing a maxi skirt (1970s). Just like the maxi skirts i was selling . . . .

        1. Enai*

          What was the problem with wearing a maxi skirt? I can sort of see “A mini skirt is too revealing, cover up you hussy”, but a maxi skirt? Is the problem that you might scandalously flash some ankle?

    3. BralessInTechland*

      ugh. I’m medically unable to wear a bra. This typically doesn’t come up, but I had one contract that complained so I had to get a note from my doctor. He was flabbergasted and told me these guys should be forced to watch film from the 60s and 70s all day until they normalized lack of bra as not a big deal. To make it worse, I had to have all of the related conversations with my male boss who was clearly really uncomfortable and was upset that it didn’t go away after a quick directive to wear a bra.

  69. Cruciatus*

    Not really a workplace policy, but I got yelled that “we don’t have time for that!” when I looked out a window for approximately 20 seconds watching cars slide down an icy hill nearby. I did, in fact, have 20 seconds to do that. But this was just the tip of the iceberg with this supervisor, as I’m sure you can imagine. So glad that supervisor is 2 jobs ago and she has moved to Florida now (sorry, Floridians!)

    My last supervisor created insane WFH policies for the 2 of us who were her direct reports. It was 3 pages of rules like “Can’t WFH on a Monday or a Friday, can’t WFH if the weather will be bad (use a vacation day instead), can’t WFH then have a vacation day the next day. Three Microsoft Word pages of these types of rules! I actually did mostly like that supervisor but those rules were intense and unnecessary.

    1. Goldenrod*

      “Not really a workplace policy, but I got yelled that “we don’t have time for that!” when I looked out a window for approximately 20 seconds watching cars slide down an icy hill nearby.”

      I strongly object to this! There are few things more riveting than watching cars slide down an icy hill. There is ALWAYS time for that, sir!

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        Just wondering if the supervisor moved to Florida so that she wouldn’t have to worry about staff watching cars slide down icy hills.

    2. Bast*

      So basically, we really don’t want you to work from home, so we’re going to make it nearly impossible to do so, but we’re going to pretend it’s a perk we offer to make us sound like a flexible place to work.

    4. allathian*

      Your first boss clearly hasn’t heard of the 20-20-20 rule to prevent eyestrain: every 20 minutes focus your eyes for at least 20 seconds on something at least 20 feet away.

  70. clique clack*

    This was in a fundraising office of a college. People tended to leave for lunch, and would sometimes leave the office early depending on the schedule for the week (had to work an event that evening, had had a long travel day earlier in the week, etc). We got feedback that people weren’t allowed to leave the building and be seen walking to the parking lot at the same time, because it made it look like (to whom??) we were leaving work to go socialize with each other, which made us look exclusive and lazy.

    So, one person would leave…we would watch them from the window…once they reached the parking lot, another person would leave…repeat.

    1. Reedy*

      THIS same thing happened to me, but it was while working on the fundraising and membership staff at a planetarium. Our offices were below ground, the general public never actually saw or interacted with us but still, we had to wait 15 minutes before leaving the office if someone else had left before us.

    2. Zweisatz*

      Also reminding me of Severance, if I’m honest. (though they leave separately for different reasons)

  71. LCS*

    The staff break room had lockers. Theft from the breakroom was endemic, so many started bringing locks to use for the duration of their shift so that wallet, phone etc. (which you couldn’t have with you on the floor) wouldn’t get swiped. Locks were banned and would be cut off because it was a “visual representation of mistrust between colleagues”. I quit shortly thereafter, I was going to work right from university so had to bring stuff with me and the minimum wage paycheque wasn’t enough to cover my losses.

    1. RetiredAcademicLibrarian*

      I have a suspicion that the person doing the stealing was the same one who made the rule banning locks.

  72. Cookies for Breakfast*

    I worked at a place that had “spend company money as if it was your own” as the main rule of their reimbursement policy. In practice, that meant “how much you can expense depends on how much of a stickler your manager is”.

    Sales people would expense taxis to client offices that were a 5-minute walk away. If you travelled to a client meeting with a salesperson, you could get away with anything as long as you let them pay (more expensive direct trains, fancy lunches, three coffees a day, you name it).

    People in my department expensed all travel and meals for offsite client meetings, for amounts that are very reasonable in this country, and no one ever asked a single question.

    The other, bigger client-facing department we worked with had it much harder. The managers came up with the rule that meals costing more than £5 would not be reimbursed (you can barely get a sandwich for that), and the very rare times travel was overnight, people would bend over backwards to find the cheapest option. This led to:

    – Me paying for a colleague’s breakfast in a city with much lower cost of living than where we worked, because she was adamant her manager would never approve the expense. Guess who cared that I charged a higher cost to my department’s budget? Exactly, no one.

    – A colleague choosing the cheapest hotel for an overnight trip, and picking a place which was a) in complete disrepair b) possibly an Eastern European mafia front c) on the opposite side of the city from where we needed to go (we had to get a taxi at rush hour and arrived late, great start given the client already hated us). Had I not been on holiday when she booked, I’d have taken care of it, and we would at least have had a functioning shower.

    The other bonkers thing they did at one point (after years of it being absolutely fine) was refuse to reimburse expenses that had an online order confirmation or paper ticket as a receipt. They wanted an official invoice for everything. If you tried to explain there was no way in hell to get one, and the receipt you had already had every detail, someone from Finance would argue with you for days on Slack. For a company that spends a lot on same day staff train travel and wellbeing / home office stipends, it was absolute madness.

    1. Euphony*

      My work requires receipts for all expenses to be claimed back. They also require all transport options to be the cheapest reasonable option for your travel plans. Failing to do either of these consistently will get flagged to your manager – all sounds very sensible so far, right?
      If I need to visit our London office, I can buy an all day Travelcard for the London Underground for £15.20 and get a receipt. Or I can use my contactless debit card at the barriers for a total cost of £5.60, which does not give a receipt.
      Either option results in a policy exception needing to be signed off

      1. Cookies for Breakfast*

        I’m mentioning this because it sounds like you don’t live in London, but you may already have tried it, in which case apologies! You can set up an account on the TfL website and register your contactless card on it, so your journeys get linked to the account. That also gets you an official PDF with all your journeys and payments broken down, that you can access at any time. I’ve had luck highlighting the relevant journeys on the PDF and submitting it as the receipt with my expenses. All reimbursed, no questions asked, anywhere I’ve done it.

        1. Euphony*

          thank you – I did not know that! I travel to London for work about 3 times a year, so next time I will try this out

    2. Almost Academic*

      The detailed receipt bit drives me bonkers! I once had a finance person insist that I could not get my internet reimbursed unless I provided a fully itemized receipt from my internet provider to explain why a deposit was market as a negative balance item (i.e., reducing the amount they needed to pay back). This was from Comcast, which has absolutely horrendous customer service.

      I calculated the time spent trying to get the correct receipt and arguing with our finance person. To agree to pay me back $25 (including the $20 discount), rather than the $45 (which they wouldn’t just do when I asked since it didn’t match the total on the invoice; no they had to know the exact breakdown) they wasted $468 of my salaried time (because like hell was I going to take my own time to get this receipt).

    3. Cheesy*

      At my last job I had to argue with Finance to cover my mileage to the annual Manager’s meeting. Not because I didn’t qualify or anything like that, but because I drove up Sunday night instead of Monday morning, and they didn’t have me listed for a hotel. Except I did have a hotel, but our useless DM randomly assigned everyone to share rooms (after originally telling us we were all getting our own room) and the room I was sharing was under my new roommate’s name with my name nowhere on it. I was lucky that my roommate had arrived first and checked in already!

  73. The ashes fiasco*

    This was in college.

    I showed up with ashes on my forehead because it was Ash Wednesday and the only mass option I could make it to was right before work. While no one asked me wipe them off, there was a group photo of everyone being taken for a newsletter. I was asked to stay out of the photo because the ashes were “obviously offensive” to everybody and they didn’t want anyone knowing they had Catholics in the org. The org was in BOSTON.

    1. Mardi Gras Before Ash Wednesday*

      Just offering validation.

      I am from there and I knew people who did not like or associate with Catholics because Catholics were “overrepresented” in Boston.

      1. Admin of Sys*

        That shouldn’t matter. Deciding that members of a religion should be derided for the choices of other members or leaders of the religion is discrimination. Being catholic doesn’t mean you support the abuse members of the church committed, anymore than being from a country means you support the leader’s decisions. Thinking that way is a hallmark of discriminatory thinking, as it means you are judging an individual by the actions someone else did, merely because they share a group.

    3. Martin Blackwood*

      as someone who was raised catholic: the reasons people are weird about catholicism are never the ones I expect

    4. allathian*

      That sort of behavior is discriminatory and horrible, and I’m sorry you had to experience it.

      That said, I’m sort of surprised that they didn’t simply reschedule the photo shoot if they felt that strongly about the issue. Ash Wednesday happens once a year, after all. I just googled it and Boston’s something like 47 percent Catholic, and I’m willing to bet that you were far from the only practicing Catholic working for that org. I suppose the others went to mass after work instead.

    5. Gumby*

      Also? Roman Catholics are not the only group that practice the imposition of ashes on Ash Wednesday. So it wouldn’t even prove the org had Catholics. Just at least one person who was some variety of Christian.

  74. nora*

    I worked at a movie theater in college. I severely sprained my ankle outside of work. The urgent care nurse wrote me a note saying that I had to be allowed to sit down at all times during work shifts. Corporate policy forbade me from using a stool or leaning on anything as long as I was visible to the public (so, all the time) and the GM decided that a medical note didn’t trump that. In one of those truly wonderful moments that only happens in the movies, I got a job offer (at a sit-down job!) the same day I was denied accommodations. I limped back into his office a couple of hours after our first talk and he said, what now, you’re having something amputated? I said, nope, I quit. Cue shocked Pikachu faces all over.

  75. Similarly situated*

    Worst was a large federal agency that required a two-page authorization to plug anything into an outlet. This wasn’t a secure facility, and it wasn’t about plugging stuff into the computer. It was a rented building. But if you wanted to charge your phone, you needed to wait four weeks for someone to approve it. Talk about government waste!

    I’ve worked at several agencies since, and no one has ever heard of a policy so ridiculous.

    1. Anon for This*

      We had a small fire caused by a frayed cord in an outlet once. I bet your organization had something similar, thus the requirement for approval. Stupid policies usually come out of stupid actions…

  76. Mouse named Anon*

    I had a boss that was crazy particular about emails, fonts and spacing.

    I could not write an email like this:

    Dear Boss,

    Please see the attached report. Thank you.

    Mouse

    It had to be like this-

    Dear Boss,
    Please see the attached report. Thank you.
    Mouse

    If you didn’t do it her way, you would get reprimanded, HARD.

      1. Mouse named Anon*

        Actually what’s funny is she left first. However she left and went to a position at a company that we dealt with on a very regular basis. We weren’t exactly a client. But she wasn’t my boss anymore and couldn’t say anything if she didn’t like my “spacing”. So I made it a point to write emails how she didn’t like.

        I forgot another thing she didn’t like. For some reason my outlook defaulted to a navy blue color font. I am not sure why, but I would not have chosen navy blue as a default color. I also have a hard time telling the difference between navy blue and black. I honestly couldn’t tell the difference. She reprimanded me for that too. I told her I didn’t notice and she laughed at me.

        1. Some Words*

          The blue font I’m pretty sure is the night time display setting. It slightly dims the screen and makes one’s font blue. It’s supposed to counteract the types of light that keep one awake when looking at screens.

    2. Cookies for Breakfast*

      At my first job out of university, which had nothing to do with writing or editing, I once got reprimanded for using a bulleted list instead of a number list in an internal document. The feedback, delivered by my boss in a very disappointed tone, included something along the lines of “I thought you were the kind of person who would know how this is done.”

  77. H.Regalis*

    I worked at a nightclub where the owners made the DJ censor swearing in the songs if the artists weren’t white.

    1. SuprisinglyADHD*

      That’s just… Wow! How could the owners tell, did they require photos of every artist to be played during the night ahead of time?

      1. H.Regalis*

        Basically how it worked out was if it were a rock song, swearing was okay; but hip-hop and EDM got censored. They could play “Crazy Bitch” by Buck Cherry all night, but all the rappers sounded like they were stuttering.

        I should also note: Only white male artists were allowed to swear. Female artists of any race also got censored.

  78. Nicki Name*

    Once upon a time, an ex-employer decided that everyone working in a particular building would be assigned a parking spot in one of the adjacent lots. Spots were assigned randomly, and then people could trade with each other to get their final locations.

    One thing was overlooked, though: our tech support crew had a van for transporting equipment around the facility (we’re talking a large manufacturing facility with many buildings spread out from each other), and the van’s home base was in that parking lot, next to the door to the tech support office. Since it wasn’t associated with an employee, the van wasn’t allocated a parking spot. This point was raised to management but to no avail.

    Luckily this was ameliorated by the fact that I, a person who traveled entirely by bike and transit, was assigned a parking spot. So our workaround was to get my parking spot traded over to the spot by tech support’s door so the van could keep using that spot.

  79. tangentwoman*

    I had never seen the letter about “How are you?” being verboten at Boston Market, but I was told the same thing the summer I worked as a bank teller. We were merging with another bank, and a muckety-muck from the acquiring bank came in for a few days to observe us and train us on their protocols. She said I was never to ask the elderly customers, “How are you?” because they’d talk for too long and hold up the line. I silently rolled my eyes and absolutely didn’t follow that instruction once she left.

  80. M56*

    I remember a manager saying she would not hire anyone from a Christian university because the university promoted biblical principles that were at odds with the manager’s atheistic views.

    1. Ally McBeal*

      Not great, although depending on the university, there might’ve been a hidden second reason behind her aversion – namely, that some of those colleges are barely accredited and teach incorrect information in deference to religious dogma. Bob Jones comes to mind, as do the many “Bible Colleges” littered around the South. I have a lot of friends who went to Liberty who’ve seen the value of their degrees plummet after Falwell Jr’s scandals, although I think the educational rigor there is still better than at BJU.

      1. Hola*

        I could see that. But then you have people like me who got a masters degree from a religious college because they were the only one who offered flexibility and evening classes for working adults. Dogma wasn’t part of the coursework and most of my classmates weren’t religious.
        This does validate my instinct to try to slip in counter information on my resume to hopefully combat potentially incorrect assumptions. I know me being a member of progressive organizations isn’t impressive in and of itself, but I hope to send a message about my beliefs and values.

        1. ZugTheMegasaurus*

          Yeah, there’s a big difference between a historically-religious institution and a bible college. I went to a Catholic university for law school and have never been Catholic; I was actually pretty active in the atheist community at the time. There was a chaplain with an office in the building and they would conduct small events on Christian holidays for those who wanted it, but it was absolutely not a part of the actual curriculum. I did find it kind of funny discussing the ethics of capital punishment when there was a crucifix hanging on the wall though.

          1. Richard Hershberger*

            Historically, a wide array of utterly mainstream private schools started life as religion schools. Look at Harvard and Princeton. For more recentish examples, it is instructive to compare and contrast Oberlin with Wheaton. But on the other hand I am instantly skeptical of any religious college or university founded within living memory.

          2. Rage*

            My bachelor’s is from a Quaker school – it’s the only one that offers the specific degree as a 4-year program (everywhere else is 2-years).

            It was a zoology degree, and it was especially weird in 1999 to be discussing the theory of evolution…at a Quaker school…in Kansas (who had just removed the teaching of evolution from the required state curriculum).

      2. Not on Board*

        Being in Canada, I’d never heard of Bob Jones or Liberty until I started listening to the Leaving Eden podcast. The whole thing about these Christian colleges is how fascinating and totally bananapants they are. I can’t think that the quality of education at these places is particularly good.

        1. I should really pick a name*

          While they’re not the same thing, we do have religious institutions, and there have been issues. The law school at Trinity Western University wasn’t accredited because of their “community covenant” which among other things banned sex outside of marriage.

          Link attached in my reply.

        2. dawbs*

          Yeah, but it also kinda sucks when things change.

          I got (IMO-probably not objective) an excellent education at a college that wasn’t notorious about it’s….lets call it “religiously adjacent agenda”.

          There was an administration change in the last 20 years, and currently, they are fairly notorious and it REALLY sucks when I update my resume that people will look at it and assume “challenging coursework, but she’s probably brainwashed”
          *sigh*

          1. Zephy*

            You could maybe get around that by listing your graduation year, but then you run into potential age discrimination. There’s no good answer here, that sucks.

      3. ITT non tech*

        While it wasn’t a religious university, my coworker was told he was more employable but not mentioning his masters from University of Phoenix. Another IT guy said the same thing about ITT tech. Once a school’s reputation is trashed there is not much one can do

      4. Quill*

        There’s no reason for the weird and dismissive reason though, barely accredited is barely accredited. People consider whether you went to a university that is known for actual coursework instead of just ripping off students all the time!

      5. Observer*

        there might’ve been a hidden second reason behind her aversion – namely, that some of those colleges are barely accredited and teach incorrect information in deference to religious dogma

        That makes no sense. Why would this be a “second” and *hidden* reason? If this person actually cares about that, they could say so. Sure, some people might argue, but worrying about the academic rigor of a program based on publicly available information is such a *normal and reasonable* issue that it’s not not at all credible that anyone would feel the need to hide it behind a veneer of possibly illegal religious bigotry.

    2. Oregon Girl*

      Saying that out loud doesn’t seem wise, but that doesn’t seem totally unreasonable. All of the Christian Colleges I know promote pretty hateful views. It may not be the best practice, but it doesn’t seem like the worst.

      1. Rondeaux*

        I assume it would be illegal? Not a lawyer but is refusing to hire someone from a Christian college the same as refusing to hire a Christian?

        1. Charlotte Lucas*

          I’m wondering if she’s referring to an unaccredited college, which I get.

          But not all the students in a Christian university are Christian (Loyola, for example), nor are all students at a non-religious school non-Christian. (FTR, I am using Christian to refer to all the versions of Christianity, not in the sense of one particular conservative brand of the religion.)

          1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

            Yeah, that’s a slippery slope- I went to a VERY well respected Catholic university and if someone denied candidates based on that, especially in my area where there are multiple very good Catholic universities, they’d be doing themselves a grave disservice by unnecessarily narrowing their talent pool.

            1. Resident Catholicville, U.S.A.*

              Also, not everyone attending a Catholic school is Catholic- particularly in college/university level but with vouchers now expanding, it’s becoming more common to see non-Catholics even in elementary and high school classes. But I had an EXTREMELY conservative Catholic professor in college who was gobsmacked to find out not everyone in his class was Catholic. It was a literal shock to him to find out that not everyone was practicing (I had at least been raised Catholic) let alone hadn’t been raised in the religion. That seemed to be a rare thing though- most people knew there were non-Catholics amongst us.

              1. Picked Beets*

                I went to a Catholic college because it was the only US college that had that degree program at the time – it took another 15 years for any other universities to start similar programs. They were also well-known and respected for several other hard to find majors. None were religious majors.

              2. RussianInTexas*

                Parents friends’ daughter went to Baylor, which is a private Baptist university in Texas, and a very respected school.
                She is Jewish! She had no issues with being in a Christian college.

            2. Emily Byrd Starr*

              I also went to a Catholic college which offered Catholic Mass, etc. for the students on campus who were Catholic (naturally, most of them). However, it was also very liberal as far as Catholic colleges go. They were hiring openly gay employees and even had an official gay pride group on campus, and the priests were fine with it. This was back in the late nineties/early noughties when such a thing was unheard of, even in some schools that weren’t religiously affiliated.

          2. doreen*

            I wonder if part of the issue is that “Christian” is often used to refer only to schools/colleges/universities affiliated with a specific type of Christianity. For example, Georgetown and Loyola are generally referred to as Catholic/Jesuit. Bard is affiliated with the Episcopal Church but I’ve never heard it referred to as “Christian” and the same goes for Lutheran colleges ( which often have Lutheran in the name).

            1. samwise*

              I think OP has one particular university in mind and is purposely leaving out the name: “a Christian university because the university promoted biblical principles “

            2. Rocket Raccoon*

              I went to a university that was originally Quaker, but by the time I attended it was completely secular – they didn’t even offer religion courses. Right next door was another school with Lutheran in the name but similarly secular in it’s present day incarnation. I doubt either of them would have put anyone’s hackles up.

            3. Richard Hershberger*

              I took “Christian” to mean “White American Evangelical Protestant.” This is, after all, how White American Evangelical Protestants use the word, and they have spent the past half century promoting the slander that this is what the word means.

            4. It's Marie - Not Maria*

              I went to Concordia University for one year back when it was Concordia Lutheran College. So glad I did not finish my degree there, but finished at a State University. It has saved me a lot of hassle over the years, especially because I converted to Judaism several years ago… Awkward.

        2. Phony Genius*

          I would say this: you can refuse to hire people from a given college for academic or other reasons. But if it’s only for religious reasons, it would probably be illegal. The hard part is proving it. One way would be if an employee who heard the boss make such a comment were to testify that he said he would discriminate against that college’s graduates for religious reasons. (Although hearsay could come into play, so I’m not sure such testimony can be used.)

          In summary, people who brag about discriminating often get caught.

        3. Observer*

          Not a lawyer but is refusing to hire someone from a Christian college the same as refusing to hire a Christian?

          In some ways it’s worse, because you are making a lot of assumptions about someone’s beliefs.

          1. AngryOctopus*

            It can depend. I don’t see anyone out there refusing to hire people from Notre Dame, or Boston College, or BYU. These institutions are definitely religious, but they also have a very high academic standard. I think the “refusing to hire” may come in when someone has a degree from Bob Jones, or Liberty–these are overtly religious institutions BUT they also lack academic rigor. I can see my workplace rejecting someone with a degree from Liberty because they’re unlikely to actually know what we need them to know, because they don’t teach real science there.

      2. Jane Bingley*

        I’m not crazy about assuming that students agree with their college’s beliefs, religious schools or otherwise. Some students likely agree, of course, but there are other reasons students might choose that school – I know lots of people whose religious parents would only pay for their education at a religious school, even though the student strongly disagreed with the school’s beliefs. People also grow and change from the beliefs they held at 16 or 17 when they applied to university.

        1. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain*

          This. But also, what does she count as a Christian university when there are so many different sects of Christianity? Notre Dame? BYU? Loma Linda? Cornell? She’s going to eliminate a lot of candidates.

          1. Christmas Carol*

            The definition of athiest: soneone who doesn’t care who wins a playoff game between Notre Dame and BYU.

            1. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain*

              Cornell University was founded by Friends (Quakers) but has always been non-denominational, which is why I listed it. “Christian universities” is so broad it’s meaningless and includes many schools that wouldn’t fit her stereotype, or maybe it would. I can guess she probably meant evangelical sects, but maybe not —where’s her boundary?

          3. Quill*

            Sects and churches which call themselves “christian” with no other descriptor are more likely than not to be fundamentalist and smart enough to know that saying so turns people off.

        2. General von Klinkerhoffen*

          And people don’t always get a full range of choices until they are financially independent, either of their families or just generally.

        3. Helewise*

          In addition to this, colleges themselves change. My alma mater has gotten more conservative in ways I consider undesirable even as society has gotten more progressive. I still got a good education there, but I’m not encouraging my nearing-college-age kids to put them on their lists.

        4. She of Many Hats*

          My definition of a “Christian” college is one where the dogma drives & infuses the curricula while a Religious college is shaped by it’s religion but the curricula is driven by the subject(s).

      4. PurplePeopleEater*

        I know that I’m biased because I’m queer and went to an ELCA Lutheran-affiliated college for undergrad, but I do think there are some that don’t send the same signal as say, Liberty or a Catholic university. The head of our religion department was Buddhist, the chaplain was a woman, we had openly queer faculty and staff. We had policies to make sure that queer students could find a safe roommate. There were organized campus events to write to legislators about marriage equality. It definitely had its blind spots and problems, but they are different.

        1. Leenie*

          Even within your distinction, there’s a massive difference between Liberty and most Jesuit colleges, in both quality of education and prevalence of strident conservatism.

      5. Oh, yeah, me again*

        Duke University? Emory? Guilford College (or any Quaker school)? There a many, many Christian colleges. In fact, I venture to say that not just the majority, but almost all private, not-for-profit colleges in the US are church-affiliated, with a few rare exceptions (Stanford, perhaps, & most or all of Ivy league, maybe Oberlin?)

    3. Kiv*

      As someone who is not Christian and has no love for the kinds of things taught at many “Bible Colleges,” that’s 100% unfair and illegal discrimination.

      1. Name (Required)*

        I doubt that – not hiring someone based on the college they went to is not illegal discrimination. Not hiring Christians specifically would be illegal. Not all Christians went to crappy colleges so it’s not a ban on Christians.

        1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

          This was my question. Students from “a [specific] Christian college” is not the same as “from Christian colleges.” But it’s very close and manager should really keep it to herself. Although, there were people willing to go on record after the Jerry Sandusky news saying they will not interview or hire Penn State students.
          So people get het up and say things.
          (and no, I don’t understand punishing students because one of the employees of the university violated the law as well as the college community. Don’t donate money. Don’t send your kids there. Don’t watch their sports teams. But not hiring a grad? That’s really punishing the wrong party.)

          1. amoeba*

            Eh, I’d read it as shorthand for “Christian colleges with fundamentalist, hateful teachings”, which, fair enough.

        2. Jackalope*

          I’m wondering about this. Since religion is a protected class, would this be something that would count as discrimination? I know there’s something to the idea that if you input a policy that has discriminatory results then it can be considered illegal even if the policy doesn’t directly say anything illegal. For example, if she refused to hire students who had attended an HBU (historically Black university), or students from a formerly all-women’s college that now allows men but only has a small percentage of men in its student body, I believe that could be considered discriminatory. I know that Christians are not a persecuted minority in the US, but this would still be refusing to hire candidates based on religion which would be hard to prove but it seems to me still illegal.

        3. anananana*

          It can be illegal by way of disparate impact. “Disparate impact, judicial theory developed in the United States that allows challenges to employment or educational practices that are nondiscriminatory on their face but have a disproportionately negative effect on members of legally protected groups.”

        4. Observer*

          not hiring someone based on the college they went to is not illegal discrimination. Not hiring Christians specifically would be illegal

          Yes, but in this case it is explicitly based on the religious aspect. The boss didn’t “I won’t hire from this school because is a crummy school” but “I won’t hire because they teach religious ideas I don’t believe in.”

    4. Artemesia*

      It would take thousands of examples like this before it came close to the very real religious discrimination by Christian managers. At my first job, where you went to church was a big deal and many people joined churches because the discrimination was so clear — but not so overt that it was a legal issue. People who were not Christians were assumed to lack character and be unpromotable.

      Non-Christians are discriminated against in the workplace in the US routinely.

      1. Jackalope*

        So here’s the thing. Discrimination is based on specific categories, but it isn’t limited to the people who are minority groups in that category. Even if the person is in the dominant group, it will still count as discrimination if they’re targeted for negative action (in this case, not being hired) because of a legally protected characteristic. It sounds like your first job was engaging in illegal discrimination, although given the region it would have been hard on a practical level for you to make that complaint go through. But whether it’s against Christians or members of other religion, the law is the same.

      2. Michelle Smith*

        Yes, we are. Still doesn’t make what that manager said acceptable. You know, that whole cliché about two wrongs not making a right?

      3. Typing in Triplicate for the Lord!*

        This was a billion years ago, but when I was in high school, I worked as an after school secretary in an office that only hired very certain types of Christians. I got the job because they advertised at my Christian school. Everyone in the office went to specific types of Christian churches. The leadership was all men. We prayed before each meeting and had Bible study on Friday. It was not a Christian organization, although it was a small office. I think they hired pretty much by word of mouth at their churches. We did not work with exclusively Christian clients- but we were supposed to be a witness to anyone who came into the office. I am no longer in this world, but it did not seem odd to me at the time. Now, I look back and I’m like…wowwwwww. (Note: It was also in a religious town- the headquarters of Focus on the Family during its heyday.)

      4. Observer*

        It would take thousands of examples like this before it came close to the very real religious discrimination by Christian managers

        Which has nothing to do with the issue at hand. It’s illegal to discriminate based on religious beliefs, even ones that belong to the religious majority.

      5. evens*

        It sounds like you maybe think discrimination is okay if it goes the way you agree with. That’s not the definition of tolerance.

    5. learnedthehardway*

      That’s a very discriminatory and intolerant attitude – kind of like the one the manager is saying she’s trying to prevent, in fact.

      Might not be illegal discrimination, in and of itself, but it does indicate that the manager WOULD illegally discriminate against people of Christian (or ANY religious faith), if she were aware of their faith.

      Put it this way, it’s not a good look. It ignores the fact that many people go to schools that are local, available, affordable, that their parents approve of, etc. etc. And also ignores the fact that many people belong to a religion but don’t adhere to every last one of the tenets or all the opinions held by its institutions.

      It would be enough to bring it to HR’s attention, for sure.

      1. Liza*

        I agree, but at some point your choice of education reflects on your decision making abilities. If the college is lacking accreditation or is known to teach incorrect information relevant to the job discounting its students with no further qualifications seems fair.

        1. Michelle Smith*

          I hope you read the other comments explaining why this is not correct and reconsider your opinion. Not every 17 year old kid has the option to choose not to go to a particular school and I am eternally grateful that I’m not still being held professionally responsible for the questionable decisions I was making at that age.

          1. ReallyBadPerson*

            ^^Exactly. I know a young couple who both graduated from Bob Jones. They grew up in fundamentalist families and were not allowed to go to any other college. So it was Bob Jones, or no college degree. In their situation, I might have made the same decision they did, although I would have been unlikely to follow the school’s very strict rules and been dismissed.

          2. A. Nonymous*

            Sure. I’m still refusing treatment from a Liberty University educated doctor, though, and to pretend otherwise is to put your head in the sand.

        2. Observer*

          but at some point your choice of education reflects on your decision making abilities

          What the others say is true. But also, even that only applies at the beginning of college. By the time someone has been out of school for more than a couple of years, you really cannot draw any conclusions at all about someone’s *current* “decision making abilities”.

    6. Rachel*

      There was a letter here from a manager who didn’t support hiring for a woman’s college. That letter writer was eviscerated in the comments.

      I do think there was an opportunity to discuss bias in the workplace and how we all have it, but the feelings about that person were so strong there was no cutting through it.

      This comment reminds me of that. For so many people, discrimination is fine as long as it is their discrimination. And people are not as objective about this as they think they are.

      1. Liza*

        Regardless of college it would be better to be very clear up front about what kind of bigotry won’t be tolerated and let candidates sort themselves out. In other words if you are going to create a toxic environment for queer people you can fuck off now and save us all the trouble.

    7. ThursdaysGeek*

      The education I got at Northwest Nazarene was vastly superior to that at Central Washington, where I ended up when I couldn’t afford the private college tuition. But sure, illegal discrimination is cool.

      1. Siege*

        There is a world of difference between a school like Notre Dame or Northwest Nazarene and Bob Jones University, and that fact is obvious.

        1. Irish Teacher.*

          Yeah, it’s not really clear whether the manager was refusing to hire people from a specific college that had views that were either generally considered bigoted (such as discriminating against people who were gay or transgender or maybe expelling young women who got pregnant) or which contradicted evidence (such as a college that thought creationism as fact) or whether the manager’s objection was to anybody who went to a college that was even nominally religious, on the grounds that religious belief was against his principles as an atheist.

          If the company is a scientific one and the manager is refusing to hire people who have been taught that creationism is science or anything along those lines, then I can see where he is coming from. If he objects to a university because “I’m an atheist and therefore belief in a god or gods is against my principles and I will not hire anybody who I suspect may believe” then that is a lot more problematic.

          I’m guessing the stance may have fallen between these two extremes.

      2. Irish Teacher.*

        Yeah, my little Catholic college gave me a much better education than the year I spent doing my teaching qualification (not sure if it’s the same elsewhere; in Ireland, to teach secondary school, you do a degree in the subjects you want to teach, then do a year or two (was a year in my day, it’s two now) postgraduate to get the teaching qualification) and it is also apparently statistically one of the colleges with the greatest percentage of students coming from lower income backgrounds.

        And the fact that it was a Catholic college didn’t mean that all our lecturers were Catholic. Some were, but we had at least one who was pretty scoffing about Christianity in general.

      3. What's my name again*

        Funny how commenters here will bend over backwards to invent fanfic on how maybe something is happening due to “discrimination”. But here, when we have an actual example of actual discriminations the response is “meh, that’s fine”.

      4. DenimChicken*

        Take it from a Nazarene-you are lucky it wasnt ONU or Trivecca unless you’re totally cool woth LGBT students being marginalized daily or listening to hate speech during mandatory chapel.

    8. Hiring Mgr*

      I would discriminate if I caught a candidate listening to Sister Christian by Night Ranger. Permanent no-hire list

    9. KTinDC*

      There’s so much variety in Christian universities that this seems extremely limiting. I went to a college affiliated with the Church of the Brethren, which is a relatively conservative church in many ways. I was not Brethren, nor were most of the people who went to the school. Actual impact on my day to day life there was pretty minimal. No required church services, no required religion classes. There were some things that did have church influence – like the lack of a football team, football having been deemed too violent for a school affiliated with a historic peace church. But overall, my experience wasn’t terribly different from that of someone attending a secular university. This is miles away from the experience of someone who went to Liberty or BJU.

      1. Irish Teacher.*

        Yeah, same with my little college. I had one priest lecturing me (and as far as I can remember, while he may have touched on religion when teaching medieval literature, it was in the sense of “this poem is referencing the tradition of pilgrimage in that century” or “this character would have been recognised at the time as relating to such a character from the Bible” but I don’t remember him ever saying anything to even indicate a personal belief in God, though obviously, as a priest, we could assume he did).

        There was an opening Mass in the first few weeks of every college year, but there was no obligation to attend and most people didn’t.

        You could choose religion as a subject if you wished, but there was no expectation and it wasn’t even a popular subject choice.

  81. Mrs Vexil*

    Worked at a University bookstore that closed at 4:30 pm. Around 4:25 there was a closing announcement over the intercom, something like “The X University bookstore will be closing in 5 minutes. Please make your selection and proceed to checkout” . But if a customer had not heard the announcement or deliberately ignored it, we weren’t allowed to approach the person to ask if they needed any help since we were closing. So at least one sales associate and one cashier could be hung up for like another half hour till the customer noticed the lights had dimmed and no one else was there.

    1. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat*

      Why are people like this??? I’m sure you were all milling about with your coats on and purses in hands staring daggers at them and the door, do people not get the hint that you’re supposed to be closed?? As if any potential sale you could get from them is worth all that aggravation!

      1. Admin of Sys*

        Legitimately, some people are /really/ oblivious. But that’s why they should be allowed to approach customers and gently point out that the store is closing.

        1. Chirpy*

          I once had a customer keep shopping for HALF AN HOUR IN THE DARK after we closed…the manager turned off the lights because this guy had turned down like 10 people’s help, and the guy still wouldn’t leave. He’d come in before closing, so he was going to take his sweet time shopping, I guess. IN A TOTALLY DARK BIG BOX STORE. Where multiple people had told him we were now closed.

    2. Accidental Itinerant Teacher*

      I had a job like that once.
      We weren’t allowed to ever tell a customer we were closed.
      We could tell them our hours if that’s what they asked, but if we were asked “Are you closed?” We had to say “No” and sell them whatever it was they wanted.
      Like if I was in the middle of locking the doors about to head home and someone showed up I was supposed to open back up sell them whatever it was then re do all the closing procedures.

      1. AngryOctopus*

        We sort of had to do that at First Retail Job, but also we had a pharmacist who Wasn’t Having Any Of That Nonsense. If someone tried to get in or shook the locked door after close, she’d go right up to it and yell “We’re closed!! Read the sign!!”.

    3. Mouse named Anon*

      At worked at Walgreens in college. Technically we weren’t supposed to approach anyone either. People were usually pretty good about getting out. One night there was a lady who wasn’t getting out. Bc I couldn’t approach her and wanted to go the frick home, I started announcing every minute after 11:55 that were closing.

    4. anneshirley*

      I worked at an American Eagle (don’t care to anonymize, they sucked so bad) that had this policy in college except no announcement, no dimming the lights, nothing. You just sort of had to wait for everyone to leave and jump to lock the door when the last customer left. And since the front doors couldn’t be locked with customers in the building, more people could and would wander in in the meantime.

      The only time I ever (I lasted about eight months) saw the store manager say something was almost 2 hours after closing, after which we got snapped at to clean up as quickly as possible (since you couldn’t vacuum, dust, etc with customers in the store!) because we were over ours. Idiotic policy.

    5. Glad I'm out of the rat race*

      Ooh, we were given that order at the (chain now defunct) Dressbarn I worked in. Could tell the customer our hours when asked (and hope they knew the time); couldn’t tell the customer that we’re closing soon or already closed, couldn’t close either till, couldn’t vacuum, couldn’t dim the lights, couldn’t lower the music. (Luckily they did let us lock the exterior front doors.) Two of us stuck there, waiting for someone to decide they’d had enough. Half the time they didn’t even buy anything. Drove the store lead bonkers, because she was only given budget for 1 hour (2 people @ 30 minutes) past closing to clean and close the tills, and her performance evaluation was docked for how much over budget she was.

      We developed the passive-aggressive decreasing-time-changing-room check for the egregiously loitering: during open hours it was normal to run by the rooms every five minutes or so (depending on how busy the store was and how many pieces they were trying on) to see if another size was needed. Assholes who hid in a changing room WELL past closing got every three minutes for a while, then every two, then Every. Minute. There were two of us in the store being held hostage so we’d alternate, and if called on it claim we were in another part of the store and no idea, really!, that they’d just been checked on one minute earlier by the other. By the time we got to every minute, it was so late that we DGAF if they bought anything. I Do Not Miss That Job.

    6. Charlotte Lucas*

      I worked at an ice cream store with a similar policy. We couldn’t kick people out at closing, but we could put up the sign, lock the door, and turn out the lights. Luckily, the front closed an hour earlier than the drive-in, so it wasn’t a huge inconvenience, but we did have to clean that area. Most people were pretty nice and finished up and left by 10 after. But once a group literally sat in the dark eating ice cream for like 45 minutes. The lead worker has someone clean off the other tables (with bleach!) and sweep around them. They did finally leave, but everyone was wondering what to do if they hadn’t!

  82. KateDee*

    My company has really low reimbursement for meals when traveling for business, but lunch is the most offensive. They don’t cover lunch. Why? Because you buy your own lunch when you work anyway. My explanations of “Yeah, at the grocery store at home, not in a convention center across the country” have fallen on deaf ears. I’ve intentionally traveled less in the past year after looking at what I was spending that wasn’t covered (caps for other meals are insulting too).

    2. Broken Lawn Chair*

      Wow, silly. First Job had a much more reasonable policy: if you were on a day trip lunch wasn’t covered because you could bring it from home just like any other day. Any longer travel it was covered.

      I do wonder if they’ve modified it since TSA rules are stricter. I did some short day trips around the state by air and it would be annoying these days to bring a lunch when flying.

    3. Sparkly Librarian*

      I’ve made it a personal (professional) policy to only travel for work if the registration, travel, and lodging are fully covered. (I’ll accept having to pay for my own meals.) This pretty much rules out any conferences that require overnights/flights, because the reimbursement limits are much lower than the actual modern-day costs. I wouldn’t pay for myself to attend a library conference on my free time, so if my employer wants me to go and represent the library, that’s up to them to fund it. I don’t see it as a perk that I can travel on a workday, work the rest of the weekend, and be reimbursed 60-70%.

  83. Sheba*

    My partner used to work at a bar that only played rock music. “Non-rock” was Not Allowed. If any staff member added a song to Spotify that wasn’t rock music, the owner would yell “who put this non-rock on!”

    1. Emily Byrd Starr*

      And I bet that led to a lot of debates as to what is actually considered rock. For instance, my sister refers to anything that isn’t classical or jazz as “rock.”

  84. Dawn*

    The first one that jumps out at me was the General Manager (so, responsible for all ~150 employees at the company) who didn’t believe that migraines were real, and made it explicitly clear that you couldn’t call in sick for a migraine, even with a doctor’s note, because that’s “just a headache and I work with headaches all the time.”

    2. don'tbeadork*

      Yeah? I’d like to see him work through one of MY migraines and then say “it’s just a headache”.

  85. NotARealManager*

    I got reprimanded in a performance review for not wearing the company uniform. I got very high marks otherwise.

    The uniform cost a minimum of $60 and for the work we’d realistically need at least two uniforms. We made $9 an hour and most of us were students so we could only work 5-20 hours a week.

    I told them they had three options
    1) Significantly raise my pay
    2) Buy the uniform(s) for me
    3) Fire me

    They did none of the above. I wore what I was wearing before, I never heard it mentioned again, and I quit when I graduated.

  86. Je ne sais what*

    Worked as a public school teacher at a high school in a large metro area in the South. Very often during “spirit weeks” before homecoming, etc, teachers would be encouraged to participate in the themed dress-up days. Without fail, one of the days was football-related (think, dress as your favorite team, wear your favorite player jersey, etc). After a couple of years of not participating, one of my admins mentioned in an evaluation that my lack of sports enthusiasm was making me unapproachable for students and staff–to be clear, I taught a humanities subject, I was not coaching anything other than the debate team. He basically told me I had to participate the following year.

    I cannot tell you how little I care about sports, but football especially. I wasn’t raised in a sports family, I barely understand the rules of the game, and I went to a historically women’s college without a football team. When I told this admin that it really wasn’t my thing, but that I’d go all out for “fictional character” day or something, he scoffed, and goes “omg how hard is it to wear your college team shirt or something! Why are you being so difficult?!” He didn’t believe me when I told him we didn’t have a football team (it’s important to note that this instance specifically called for football team spirit, not other sports, though honestly idgaf about most sports, so it wouldn’t have mattered much) at my college. So I go onto my college website and see if I can find something to make this craziness stop, and ended up buying a shirt.

    The shirt has a big football on it, then “[college name]: UNDEFEATED since 1889”

    I wore it on the day. Admin was not amused. I did however get a good evaluation that year! I’m not teaching anymore, though. I wonder why…

    2. Anonymous Pygmy Possum*

      I’d ask if we went to the same college, but I’m pretty sure that joke is fairly common among colleges without a football team. I love it anyway.

      1. Avery*

        It’s definitely a common one. I was a little sad when my college got a football team in large part because we had to retire that joke…

    4. Lala762*

      Oh how I wish your story had ended in, “…so I wore the scantiest cheerleader uniform I could find.”
      And bonus points if you’re a man.
      I would also have been thrilled by a mascot get-up.

    5. lilsheba*

      Yeah that’s something that a place would have to just deal with when it comes to me. Sports are dumb, I have zero interest in them or in behaving like a “sports fan”. NOPE.

  88. Carlie*

    I worked for a publishing company that published a variety of print media. One of the senior managers in the books team implemented a rule that marketing material could not use the word “book” or “books”. So we had to promote the books without saying they were books. Fwiw, this guy was a classic example of the Peter Principle and didn’t have a clue what he was doing.

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        Maybe he confused the term “book publishing” with “book making.” Didn’t want to alert the fuzz.

  90. Corrigan*

    I worked completely remotely (like a 10 hour drive away) for a department of all women and was constantly told how much they supported working mothers. I was told that I was allowed a 15 minute break in the morning and in the afternoon. However I was was reprimanded for using that time to take a shower because I’m “supposed to be available during business hours.”

    I asked exactly what times I needed to be available and they said “Oh we’re not micromanaging your time…” Well, you are because you’re telling me that I’m not allowed to go into the next room and complete a task that will take less than 15 minutes on my 15 minute break. It’s such a weird policy. “You can take a break…but not for that!”

    2. anywhere but here*

      Did they have to know what you were doing? I’d shower anyway and just pretend I hadn’t. It’s not like they know what happens in your home.

    3. lilsheba*

      Yeah I use my break to shower all the time but I don’t tell anyone that, they don’t need to know. Luckily they don’t care what I do on my break but still. My time my business.

  91. lynn*

    I worked somewhere where the owner’s wife was very involved and very particular about how everything looked, including at people’s desks. She did not like that people brought in framed personal photos, because the frames did not match the look she was going for. So she asked everyone for the dimensions of the photos, and had one style of frames made for each person’s photos.

    1. Cookies for Breakfast*

      That reminds me of when I was the admin at a place where the owners were husband and wife, and the husband (my direct boss at the time) tasked me with buying a new coat stand for the lobby. Online shopping was not as commonplace at the time, so I asked what kind of coat stand, where from and with what budget, and all he said was “just make sure it doesn’t look cheap, Wife hates cheap stuff.”

      But…they were cheapskates, at least when it came to spending money on employees and the office, so I got a coat stand from Amazon at a price in line with other purchases they had allowed before. I’m pretty sure Wife hated the sight of it. I now know enough about the stores People With Money consider “affordable”, and they would never have allowed me to buy from one of those places with the company card.

    2. AnonORama*

      Irritating and waaaaaay oversteppy but at least she put her money where her mouth was! I can imagine her going “this is the kind of frame I like, it’s $100” and everyone having to pay. (Assuming they didn’t?)

    4. Ama*

      Oh this reminds me of the grad school I worked at that was funded by one particular donor. She hated the way PC desktop towers looked, so she wanted to require us to have Macs (this was back in that period where the iMacs were built to be all in one with the monitor). But several of our university systems (specifically our budget system) didn’t work on Macs, so she paid even more for software that ran a “virtual PC” for all the administrative staff computers so we could actually access our budget info. It took a full ten minutes to open up the virtual PC software and log in, then to navigate to the budget system and log in to that (as you may have guessed, the budget system was outdated and extremely inefficient). Plus the software was VERY expensive. But I guess you get to be picky when you have enough money to fund an entire graduate school’s operating budget.

      1. My Boss is Dumber than Yours*

        Fun fact: when Sprint first got iPhones on their network, the web applications to activate new customers and phones could only run in Internet explorer. So every Apple Store had to have at least one display iMac with a virtual machine. This did not inspire confidence in the customers.

      2. Observer*

        THIS is a perfect example of why many non-profit professionals have been pushing back on the idea that you always have to placate big donors. This is bonkers and wasteful in the extreme.

      3. Deborah*

        Where I work we use iPads and a fake Windows desktop app to access our Windows-compatible electronic medical record. But it only takes like 2 minutes to load.

  92. Bitsy*

    I managed college residence halls for many years, living in an apartment within the building. The apartment had a fully equipped, totally normal kitchen.

    Student residents were not allowed to use small appliances such as toasters, George Foreman grills, and the like, due to fire safety regulations. It was decided that if students could have them, hall directors couldn’t either.

    I argued that while using a toaster on a student desk cluttered with paper, or on a carpeted floor, was surely a fire safety risk, using one on a normal, clean, counter top in a normal, clean, kitchen was not. I did the math and found that all of the hall directors would need to be making toast constantly for several hundred years before we’d equal the fire safety risk of a toaster in a student room. I was still told no, I was not permitted to have a toaster.

    I’m still bitter about it.

    1. Quill*

      I wonder if your wiring wasn’t up to code? Mine wasn’t in the dorms.

      (I was also the only person there who knew what a fuse box was… aside from the RA. Our fuse box was never locked, because it would be 48 hours to get maitenance to come, unlock the fuse box, and flick the switch to restore power to any given pair of rooms. I was… less evil than I could have been about this knowledge but I DID trip the switch on the people who had music blaring at 3 AM. Learn to use headphones.)

      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        I would think that a working kitchen would have to be up to code.

        Also, the hall directors were way less likely to use appliances after a night of drinking.

        1. Quill*

          Our buildings also had working kitchens but only in the residence director’s apartment. If one part of the wiring isn’t to code, none of it is… (Res director at least got their own fuses…)

      2. Bitsy*

        I was in a brand new building. But all of the apartments were equipped with electric stoves and refrigerators. So the wiring had to be good enough.

        I think it was a consistency thing. “If students can’t have X then nobody in the building can have X.” Which, ok, fine, I’ll deal with not burning candles, say. But not having a toaster in a kitchen that does have a stove was dumb.

    2. nekosan*

      When I was in college, we had to sign a little paper that said that we understood that we weren’t allowed to have items with heating elements in our rooms (hot plates, toasters, coffee makers, etc.) due to fire risk.

      Then the (required) freshman physics class issued soldering irons to each student, for at-home labwork.

      So it goes!

  93. Bethany*

    I wish it was funny, but it so, so isn’t: In terms of ridiculous policies – I have a CFO who is trying to implement a policy that if employees -OR their Supervisor – fail to approve a time card, that Payroll will be instructed to NOT PAY THEM. (Our pay system locks the time card when payroll is processed, so they have no ability to approve it later, except to print it out and sign it!) I have explained repeatedly that this violates Federal and state labor law, but “well, we did it at (his last employer, a large religious medical institution), so you must be wrong.” I’m at the point where I’m ready to hold up signs that say, “I won’t go to jail for your terrible ideas.”

    2. Panicked*

      My current boss tries to get away with things all the time, from just bad policy to straight-up illegal things. I tell him often that he can do what he likes, but I won’t have a hand in it. I’m not putting my name or reputation on the line for one of his flights of fancy.

    3. Abogado Avocado*

      You don’t need to hold up a sign. Just say, “I withdraw from the conspiracy.” That’ll get his attention.

        1. Zarniwoop*

          It means a group of people talking about doing something illegal and then doing it are all at risk of criminal charges for the illegal activity, and the speaker wants no part of it.

    4. It's Marie - Not Maria*

      100% Report this. It violates Federal Law and most State Laws. The fines associated are really high, and will quickly teach this CFO this IS NOT a hill to die on.

    5. Observer*

      I have a CFO who is trying to implement a policy that if employees -OR their Supervisor – fail to approve a time card, that Payroll will be instructed to NOT PAY THEM.

      So he’s suggesting that you break the law to punish people for things that they have no control over?

      How does someone that stupid, ignorant and horrible get and keep a job at that level.

      I did just recently have a bit of an argument with someone who felt that we should delay paying people till the next payroll period if time cards were not properly approved. But that was NOT the CFO, and they did not have any level of authority to make or even push policy. All that discussion was them venting and my explaining why the bosses would never agree to such a thing.

  94. Bluebird*

    This is small potatoes, but I worked at a very small business where I was sometimes required to mail things. My boss insisted that I use the FedEx account for everything. Sometimes I needed to mail things to P.O. Boxes, which at the time was impossible using FedEx. I just could not make her understand this.

  95. Margaret Cavendish*

    I worked for a place that allowed 20 sick days in a year, but only 3 “occurrences” before you started getting in trouble. So people with any kind of chronic condition were always getting “counselled” for using too many sick days.

    One year I got pneumonia, and ended up taking two weeks off. Only one occurrence, and it happened to be my first of the year, so I should have been good, right? Wrong! Because you also get “counselled” once you reach 50% of your allotted days for the year.

    So, you have lots of sick days – but you can’t use them all at once, and also you can’t split them up. The only possible way to comply was to just not get sick.

    1. Cat Tree*

      I worked at a place that nominally had unlimited sick days. Fortunately one of my coworkers who had been there a long time advised me that you get a stern lecture if you use more than 4. They should have just said it was 4 if that’s their limit!

    2. Bast*

      I’ve always wondered what the point is in giving people all of those sick days if they’re going to be in trouble for using them.

    3. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just good at it*

      Philadelphia Inquirer

      Philadelphia School District’s longstanding policy on sick days. Teachers have 10 sick days per year, but they are progressively penalized for taking them. This rule is coming under fire as Philly faces particularly high levels of educator attrition and as the district faces a shortage of teachers.

    4. Jaid*

      There was an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about teachers getting “counseled” for every three sick days they use with increasing penalties…

  96. Reality.Bites*

    I used to work for a company that had a floating holiday in addition to the statutory holidays and vacation time. At some point there was consideration to making it people’s birthday, which was dropped without being implemented.

    I truly couldn’t see any point to a mandatory day off on my birthday when everyone I knew would be at work and would often not even be adjacent to a weekend. And of course anyone who wanted to take their birthday off already could do that using their floating holiday.

    1. AnonORama*

      I’m glad they didn’t do that. Personally as someone who dislikes/ignores my birthday, I’d much rather be at work! Hell, I volunteered for an event on that day this year so I’d be working super hard and NOT thinking about it.

    2. Bast*

      I prefer to pick and choose my days off myself, but I can’t say that if my employer said, “Go home, it’s your birthday, enjoy the day” that I would be upset to have an extra day off. Another floating holiday would probably be more ideal, particularly if you have a leap year birthday, holiday birthday, weekend birthday, etc., that would result in not getting the extra day off, but frankly, any extra day off is not something I’d fight.

      1. Reality.Bites*

        It wouldn’t have been extra.

        You got as an entry-level employee 15 days paid vacation, the statutory holidays, *AND* a floating holiday that was used whenever you wanted, including your birthday if that’s what you wanted. The proposed change would have eliminated your choice of when to use that day you were already entitled to – no extra day involved.

  97. Caz*

    My former employer had a rule – spelled out in the dress code policy – that “unnatural” hair colours were not allowed. They tried to use it against me when I dyed my hair red, I pointed out it was the same colour as Ed Sheeran, therefore it was a natural colour (if not my natural shade). There were a number of people with naturally dark hair who coloured their hair blonde, not a word was said to them…

    1. pally*

      They simply need to not hire anyone with a 29 February birthday. Solves that problem.

      Can you imagine being rejected for a job solely because of your birthdate?

      Either way they go with such a policy, that management is nuts.

  99. Goose*

    At a rooftop restaurant, staff weren’t allowed to:
    -sit while doing side work
    -use front of house elevators (there was one in the back and three in the front)
    -drink water on the floor
    -drink water or eat anything in the kitchen
    -I’m still not sure where I was supposed to drink water
    -take a break that wasn’t a smoke break

    1. Caliente Papillon*

      You had to be a smoker to take a break?! Leave it to a restaurant to reward unhealthy behavior and not those simply in need of a break.

      1. Distracted Procrastinator*

        This is the unspoken rule at restaurants everywhere. Technically, you get your state mandated breaks. technically. But you know, try taking one and see what happens. Now if you smoke, you can go outside whenever you want and shoot the breeze with the other smokers for as long as you like and no one cares as long as it’s not right during the rush.

        don’t smoke? whatever, get back to work. they don’t pay you to sit.

    2. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just good at it*

      drink water or eat anything in the kitchen

      probably health department regulation

      1. Look User! Even the Shop is for Sale!*

        But isn’t the employer obligated to protect employees from getting heatstrokes and such? I’ve worked as a chef and a kitchen can get really hot especially in the summer and I always was allowed to drink, I just had to place my bottle away from my workstation so I wouldn’t accidentally knock it over and spill my drink over the food I was preparing.

  100. NotyourGrandma*

    Also, Happy Birthday to the cheap year employee. I hope you left that crazy company in the dust as you successfully moved on to a more sane workplace!

      1. Margaret Cavendish*

        I thought you did it on purpose – it’s not wrong! “Cheap” is among the nicer adjectives I could use to describe that company…

        1. AnonORama*

          If two of the best stories on here (cheap-ass rolls and leap-year birthday) had a baby — this is what it would be: cheap year!

  101. The Other Maggie*

    I was young, less than a year out of school, and landed a very junior, very entry level role in my major. I was desperate to be successful at the job.

    It was a small company of about 20 people. The co-owners were a married couple – Jack and Maggie*. I am also named Maggie. I knew Maggie from my childhood. She was one of my elementary school teachers.

    Jack and my hiring manager who reported to him both asked in the final interview if I could go by “Marge” at this job, since there was already a “Maggie” working there. I agreed, because I was eager and willing to sacrifice my name to land the job. It was weird though, because Maggie had called me “Maggie” for years when I was a kid, but apparently wasn’t comfortable with that anymore. Plus, my full name is “Maggie”, when hers is actually “Margaret”.

    On my first day, I realized that there was another Jack in the office – and he apparently was not asked to alter his first name. Why was my name the exception???

    I worked there for a few years, never questioning the first name assigned to me. Decades have passed since then, and it’s funny because there is still a small group of people who call me “Marge”. It’s the only evidence of this odd time in my life.

    *Maggie is not the real name, but it is similar because of how it is derivative of a full name that has multiple variations.

    1. Just a Moving Truck on Storrow Drive*

      That is bizarre – couldn’t they just say like “Maggie D.” for you? First name last initial to differentiate you from the owner.

      1. The Other Maggie*

        I guess she wanted to be fully unique. *shrug*

        People didn’t notice when using email, though. I frequently got sensitive correspondence meant for her.

      2. MonteCristo*

        This sounds like a problem specific to that “Maggie” owner LOL. I worked at a place once where literally 1/2 of the management team was named Dave/David and we all muddled through easy enough (I’m talking like 8 guys with the same name).

        1. Brain the Brian*

          One of my company’s field offices is entirely staffed by people with two names: all the men have one, and all the women have the other. They agree it is hilarious.

    2. Emily Byrd Starr*

      As fans of a particular young adult book series know, my screen name is not my actual name. My actual name is a name that is also frequently shortened to two different names, and I go by one of them and always correct people when they call me the other (think like how Elizabeth can be shortened to Liz or Beth, and I go by Liz and always correct people who call me Beth). If a workplace insisted that I go by “Beth” because there was already a “Liz” working for them, I’d either refuse, or just ask them to call me Mrs. (my last name).

    3. Ama*

      The only reason I could think that isn’t awful is they just didn’t want people assuming you were the Maggie married to Jack.

      When I was in my late 20s/early 30s I worked somewhere where I had the same name as the big boss’ wife (they were both in their 60s). We have a somewhat unusual name, too (you’ve probably heard it before but you may have never encountered a real life person with that name). My role also required me to sit at the reception desk directly outside the big boss’ office. More than once, I introduced myself to someone just by my first name and could absolutely see by the look on their face that they thought I was the boss’s wife (hard to describe but you could see them thinking “oh! she’s *much* younger than I thought” and then trying quickly to hide their surprise). I did sometimes just say “I’m the department secretary, I’m not [full name of big boss’ wife]” and most people would relax and admit that was *exactly* what they had been thinking.

      Big boss was amusingly horrified when I mentioned this to him once, but he didn’t ask me to change my name. (I honestly just thought it was very funny.)

      1. The Other Maggie*

        But what about the fact that there was another Jack in the office who wasn’t married to Maggie? No one seemed to mind that.

    4. Not Julia*

      I’ve known a few people in that situation. In one case, I was introduced to my co-worker “Julia” and called her that for about a year before she told me that her name was actually Julie. When she started there was another Julie; our boss thought it was too confusing to have two of them, so made her start going by Julia. The other Julie had been gone for years when I got there, but by then everyone was used to calling her Julia, so she just let it be. I do not understand bosses who think people’s names are just not important to them.

    5. Jules the First*

      I worked for several years for a company where the owner’s name was very common but for some reason he was the only one at the company with that name. Then I attended a colleague’s wedding and discovered that it was only his work friends who knew him as “Apollo” and that his legal name was actually John. Apparently the receptionist had informed him on his first day that he had to pick a work name because that was policy for anyone named John…he thought she was joking, so picked Apollo as a joke. The truly hilarious bit is that he is now three jobs (and 15 years) further into his career and still known professionally as Apollo Watson because too many people met him under that name in his early career…

  102. Cheesy*

    I had a job during the recession that refused to let you leave the building once you were clocked in, even on your 30 minute lunch break. The only exception was if you were taking out the trash. They would write people up for running to grab something from their car during their break. According to the manager people would return late from lunch breaks sometimes in the past so they stopped letting people leave. Then people were taking a bunch of smoke breaks so no going outside at all. We were a restaurant, not a prison! The place was a nightmare to work for, with a “Mean Girls” clique of all female management that treated everyone like they were college kids looking to make a few extra bucks and not people with lives, families, and bills, and held any and all transgressions no matter how small against you for months. They indefinitely postponed training for something I was specifically hired for because I was a tiny bit late twice in my first 4 months (5 min late and 10 min late) and claimed “they wanted people who would actually show up” when I asked about the training, completely ignoring that one of them had strolled in over an hour late that very morning.

  103. What Does Accountable Mean?*

    I used to work at a company with a policy that all phones had to be put in a basket outside the room the door when you entered a meeting.

    Now this could be to prevent distraction. Or someone’s pet peeve.

    But it was enacted after a former employee recorded promises made in a meeting about sales bonuses and sued when the company reneged and said they never said that.

    So it was instituted as an anti-accountability measure.

  104. Always Bring Pickles to a Potluck*

    Very minor, but my company decided that it wanted to align customer greetings. So we are now required to greet everyone by saying “Welcome to Company”. This makes sense when you are greeting people in person. It is ridiculous when you are answering the phone or responding to someone in a chat.

  105. Just a Moving Truck on Storrow Drive*

    For a very long time, a smaller company I worked for had an 8:00 full-company stand up. Think about having to hear what everyone in the (50-75 person) company was doing, including a ton of information that was completely irrelevant to 90 percent of attendees, at 8:00 am.

    The company was distributed across four time zones, so that meant that it was someone’s 7 am, 6 am, or 5 am….

    An individual was assigned to take notes on this meeting for a month, then it (might) move to the next assigned person. One person seemed to be assigned to this duty for 6 months straight. This person was in a western time zone (so logging on at 5/6 am to take notes for this dumb meeting).

    Thankfully, they stopped this practice in favor of team-specific updates, and nobody misses it.

  106. Anon and on and on*

    In the early 2000s, I worked in a newly-opened store in a mall that was dying for the third time (it kept being bought, remodeled, and Grand-Reopeninged). Not surprisingly, the store wasn’t doing well, so the manager decided we needed to save money. Apparently, the best way to do that since we couldn’t slash hours any further was to institute a ban on flushing the toilet unless you had gone #2. Yes, there was a sign with the famous “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” rhyme. There were also spot checks. It was the most ridiculous thing I’d heard after working retail for five years, so I ignored the instruction.

    He did ask, after I’d exited the bathroom if I’d really gone #2, since he’d heard the flush. I just stared at him, and he eventually moved on. There was no write-up, which I’m sort of sad about. Seeing that one being explained on paper in my permanent file would have been glorious.

    1. anywhere but here*

      I wonder how the flush policy applied to menstruation. I’d be tempted to either empty a reusable menstrual product into the toilet or leave a tampon floating in there and not flush.

    2. Observer*

      There was no write-up, which I’m sort of sad about. Seeing that one being explained on paper in my permanent file would have been glorious.

      It might even have bitten him, if there were any sane people in management.

      It reminds me of the manager who wrote someone up for freaking out over a *TERRIBLE* stunt the manager had pulled. Later on, a higher up person saw that write-up realized that something was very wrong and investigated. It did not go well for the prankster.

      Links to follow.

    3. Observer*

      https://www.askamanager.org/2022/12/boss-pretended-to-be-calling-from-child-protective-services-required-to-sing-on-camera-and-more.html

      https://www.askamanager.org/2018/12/updates-the-boss-who-pretended-to-be-from-child-protective-services-and-more.html

      Key quote:

      The offer called Wendy’s workplace to get a reference (not from Winnifred) and Other Boss decided to take a look at her file… and stumbled upon the rather odd write-up involving gossiping over a bizarre prank.

      Winnifred has been fired and hopefully the rest will all live happily ever after.

  107. Filosofickle*

    I was a city lifeguard in my teens. During open hours we rotated through the positions — Every 15 or 20 minutes you move to a new station around the pool zones then back inside the guard shack for cashier duty and cleaning etc. Technically we got zero breaks or lunch — all time off the stand was supposed to be a “working break” and rules prohibited eating inside the guard shack. So…that meant that per the rules we had no opportunities for actual breaks or food in an 8-hour shift. In 100 degree heat.

    Like normal people, we simply ignored the rules and had a grand old time snacking inside. But every year without fail there was at least one incident where a resident on the rich side of town would see a guard having lunch (the audacity!) and call the city to complain. Get a life. (I very carefully did NOT work on the rich side of town.)

    1. Filosofickle*

      No food in the shack was likely an extension of the ban on food in the pool facility. Which, okay, makes sense. But I can’t take my lunch out to the park if there are zero non-working breaks!

    2. Leenie*

      I cannot imagine what goes on inside a person’s head to make them think that calling the city to complain that an employee was eating was not just the right thing to do, but really, the highest and best use of their own time.

    3. Zarniwoop*

      “Technically we got zero breaks or lunch”
      If this is the US that’s probably illegal.

  108. Dawn*

    Oh yeah, there’s another one, I worked somewhere not customer-facing – a call centre – where part of the uniform code was that we were required to wear black dress shoes. We all sat in covered desks, meaning that our feet were never visible.

    I had a supervisor once get down on his hands and knees, bend further down to look under my desk, then reprimand me for not wearing black dress shoes.

    With the clarity of hindsight I do realize that I should have just been following the dress code, of course – I was about 21 – but the man was massively petty about enforcing a meaningless requirement. He also insisted on everyone calling him Mr. Lastname; again, he was a call centre supervisor.

    1. Rusty Shackelford*

      Ha! I had a boss who insisted we all call her Mrs. Lastname because “that would make us respect her.” Reader, it did not work.

    2. Dawn*

      Thinking back on it I should also mention that they paid us as little as they possibly could in this job and the question of whether I could afford a new pair of shoes was an open one.

  109. NotHannah*

    I have two.
    The summer before college, I worked as a car hop at a privately-owned ice cream stand. All the car hops were young women and our uniform was scoop-neck yellow tees and baby-blue satin baseball shorts and … sneakers, because having us on roller skates would be too much of a liability. The owner, a man, decided that all the car hops should wear yellow helium balloons tied to our aprons throughout our shift. This would improve business by making us more visible from the highway. In practice, it was a disaster. Any little breeze bumped the balloons into our faces, the ice creams we were carrying, etc. Kids begged their parents to get them balloons. I finally led what I call the Great Car Hop Balloon Rebellion and we stopped having to wear them.

    My second example, pre-Covid. I worked in a support office at a public health organization. My team’s job had nothing to do with actual healthcare (think, accounting) and we were in a separate building from where all the healthcare took place. But we all had to have flu shots or wear a mask from October through April. Fine by me, but one of my team members was an older woman who had a medical condition that prevented her from getting a flu shot. She was required to wear a mask at her desk in our offices for seven months out of the year. I couldn’t get an exception, even though her role was not patient-facing and there were no patients seen in our building. The woman felt that wearing a mask made her disability visible and was extremely embarrassed by it. That was a tough one.

      1. linger*

        Manager: Where’s your balloon?
        NH: Some parents took it for their child.
        Manager: That’s 99 balloons gone today!
        NH: What do you want us to do? We can’t stop it while holding ice creams.

  110. Quill*

    Worked for my college’s food service for a semester and a half. As the Sunday cashier at the “convenience store” AKA the place where you could buy asprin for real money and a protein bar and soda for a day’s worth of your meal points.

    Here’s how that went down.
    – You can never leave the cash register (okay, this is only stupid in context with what is to come
    – Not only can nothing ever be dirty or out of stock, nothing can ever be seen on management’s inspection to have ANY stock missing or ANY signs of slight dishevelment. Seriously. If your manager walks in on you ringing up a mountain dew that mountain dew display had better still be full.
    – Not only this but after over a month? Of being told to get keycard access to the storerooms on another floor of the building on my own time? And security going “no we need a work order”? I was told I didn’t work enough hours for that access to be granted.
    – You know where we clocked in? INSIDE the door that I “didn’t work enough hours” to be granted key card access to. Fortunately the smoothie shop people usually let me in on time.
    – Get lectured about clocking in at inconsistent (+/- two minutes, ish) times. Reiterate that I need key card access to clock in.
    – Finally quit at spring break but not before getting in a screaming match with my boss about why you do NOT sneak up behind someone getting something out of an oven to scream in their ear.

    You know, just retail things.

  111. Abogado Avocado*

    Back in the time of President Ronald Reagan, I worked for a daily newspaper that refused to provide free coffee for the newsroom, but purchased a microwave-size vending machine (clad in faux wood-paneling) that charged 25-cents for each paper cup of brewed sludge. Reporters, being enterprising people, figured out ways to get coffee without paying for it. Management responded by taking away the machine. And then the newspaper went out of business.

    Correlation isn’t causation, but. . .

  112. Fuzzfrogs*

    At my public library we are not allowed to buy t-shirts (for programs, giveaways, etc). The reason? The county finance department defines t-shirts as underwear, and we can’t buy underwear with public funds.

    It’s as stupid as it sounds. (And in an interesting twist, the county neither has official control over us nor any of our funding—we get tax dollars directly, and we have our own finance department. But our finance department isn’t blameless either—they refused my request to buy a $4 sack of potatoes for a potato stamp class, on the basis that I might defraud the library and take home leftover potatoes.)

        1. evens*

          I think the problem is more if someone knew they needed 5 lb worth of potatoes but deliberately bought a 20lb bag. That’s what they are trying to prevent. It ends up being ridiculous, of course.

    2. Jigglypuff*

      It’s a good thing I didn’t work at that library when I did a children’s science program that involved bowls of uncooked rice. I don’t remember what the program was about, but later on I took home the “science rice” and fed myself and my spouse with it for a week because librarians are not rich and student loan bills are terrible.

  113. NobodyHasTimeForThis*

    I worked as a process engineer at a company where test material was almost impossible to come by. Our area you could usually clean and reuse the test parts so they would not give us more test parts. So we calculated in one year they had almost $100K in engineering time spend looking for test parts. And that was just for our team.

  114. EverydayIRefreshMyEmailForWhat*

    At a library I used to work for, a patron jumped the counter and tried to assault another employee. Obviously, we were all terrified and asked management what could be done to prevent another incident like that from happening again. We suggested security be moved closer to the counter, the COVID plexiglass being reinstated, etc. Their response? “For now, we’re putting the book carts in front of the counter so it would be harder to jump over.” Would this mean patrons checking out books would have to reach over said carts? Yes. Would it be a tremendous fire hazard because they wanted to place them in front of the counter entrance as well? Also yes. I left soon after.

  115. Almost Academic*

    Happy birthday leap year employee!!!!

    My workplace has really stringent travel reimbursement policies (i.e., economy tickets only, when the majority of work travel is 8+hour overnight flights – won’t pay for seat selection, baggage, etc). This is a Fortune 500 company that dominates their market and generates billions in revenue each year. They routinely highlight that we should be fiscally conservative and seek to minimize expenses (sure, aligned in theory).

    The last work trip I was sent on was a 14.5-hour flight, last-minute booking, overnight, restricted timing, large meeting upon arrival. The least expensive ticket available actually turned out to be a premium economy ticket (~$500 cheaper than the economy fare offered), I’m assuming because the economy section was so oversold by that point.

    Yes readers, my finance department wouldn’t let me purchase the better, less expensive ticket because it was “outside of policy”.

  116. NearlyStranded*

    In an old job which required occasional travel, the rules for what travel the firm would reimburse were insanely stingy. If it wasn’t literally the cheapest option available, we had to pay out of pocket. Some examples:

    – Travel within the region had to either be by car or by bus. Which made no sense, because the region in question is the U.S. Northeast and Amtrak was a legitimate option for most travel. Depending on where you were going and how early you booked, it was often cheaper than driving after tolls were considered. Interestingly, there was no requirement to avoid tolls, so costs for some of the most expensive toll roads in the country (NJ Turnpike, PA Turnpike, DE Turnpike) and some less expensive but still significant ones (PA Turnpike NE Extension, NY Thruway) were covered without batting an eye.
    – Out of the region, you could fly, but only basic economy. We sometimes even booked on Frontier or Spirit. Yes, for business travel. This sometimes led to us using some weird dinky airports with bad connections to…anywhere really.
    – One exception to the aforementioned “no Amtrak” rule was that you could take Amtrak as a code-share for your flight out of the region if it made your overall flight cheaper. This caused a near-scare once when a flight out of O’Hare that was supposed to connect to Amtrak home was cancelled due to weather. Fortunately, the gate agents saw I was booked through to my home airport and put me on a direct flight home…leaving out of a gate 2 concourses away that was starting boarding in six minutes. I ran like the McCallisters at Christmas, but I did make that flight.
    * At one point, they insisted we try to skiplag* to get to our destinations, despite all the risks that carried both to the immediate trip (in case a flight was cancelled and our itinerary booked us to the “official” destination we had no intention of going to) and our personal travel futures (because airlines can and will ban a passenger caught skiplagging). The one time I did this, a snowstorm cancelled my original itinerary and I had to frantically work to make sure I was rebooked on a flight the following day that got me to my home airport. This only worked because the thing I was traveling for happened to be in the city where my parents lived and so my lodging cost was $0.00. The experience was so harrowing that I categorically refused to skiplag again–one of the few instances where pushback got results.
    * To keep lodging costs down, if it was even remotely possible to go and come back in one day, that would be required unless you either paid lodging out of pocket or stayed with friends/family who were willing to put you up for free. Even if whatever you were traveling for was first thing in the morning.

    Oh, and this wasn’t for a nonprofit or something. This was a reasonably successful private business–but one where the owners insisted we were all family, and wouldn’t you want to make sure your family saves money? (They tried to justify it by saying that margins were thin, but that’s no excuse for risking bad and potentially expensive results on business travel.)

    *Skiplagging is the practice of booking a ticket to somewhere you have no intention of going with a connection at your actual destination, then just missing the flight to your “actual” destination. It can save money–sometimes a lot of money depending on the route–but it’s specifically prohibited by the contract of carriage at pretty much every major airline.

    1. NearlyStranded*

      Forgot to add: It was also surprisingly difficult to get anything booked with the company’s account or credit card. Almost all travel would have to be paid out of pocket and then reimbursed.

  118. Captain dddd-cccc-ddWdd*

    Worked in retail – now that I think about it, I don’t know if this is an odd policy or not! When doing stock replenishment from the stockroom onto the shelves, you couldn’t go in the lift/elevator with the merchandise but instead had to load the stuff in there, go to the other floor and “call” the lift from where it was. Apparently this was so that people couldn’t get stuck in the lift and be unavailable to work…

    1. AngryOctopus*

      Funny, because you have to do that for safety reasons when transporting dry ice or CO2 tanks! But it’s so you don’t suffocate from the gas buildup if the elevator gets stuck, no that you’d miss work time.

  119. LadyByTheLake*

    I worked at a company that had a lot of ridiculous policies. Among them:

    1. No Post-It notes because the co-CEO of this Fortune 500 company thought they looked messy.
    2. Nothing allowed on anyone’s desk except the company-issued equipment and two personal photographs in 4×6 bent plastic frames.
    3. By nothing allowed — you were allowed to keep ONE item you were actively working on on your desk. But, for example if the work involved comparing what was in one notebook to another, you couldn’t have both notebooks on the desk and open at the same time.
    4. Employees could have a bulletin board with ten items, held in by a clear-head plastic thumbtack. There was a sect that believed that the phone list was an allowed extra item.
    5. All window shades were to remain down and partially closed at a 45 degree angle.

    All of these rules were utterly and completely ignored by everyone unless word came down that the co-CEO was going to be on the floor. Then it was a mad scramble to hide everything. The day I started such a visit was imminent and my (previously unused) office was crammed full of peoples’ extra stuff.

  120. TotesMaGoats*

    I had a grandboss that didn’t like to see women with sunglasses pushed back on their head. My boss told me to not let grandboss see me with sunglasses worn that way.

    Once got a lot of flack for having a Christmas tree, small tabletop sized in our lobby. We were a remote site of a large state university. Main campus had beautifully decorated trees at least 7ft tall, garland, wreaths. You name it decorations. We had a little tree with ornaments with everyone’s name on it. We did push back. Never got the giant beautiful trees but no one said anything else about our little one.

    Personally, I’d decorate for every holiday known to humanity, if I could. We were just super annoyed that main campus could do it but not us.

    1. TotesMaGoats*

      Oh and in high school I worked at Ace Hardware. I was a cashier and worked inside only. Where there was 10+ fireplaces pumping out heat all year round. In winter it was great. In summer it was awful. But ONLY the boys (yes, only boys) got to wear shorts because they carried stuff outside. I sweated inside in jean with no fans. But I couldn’t work outside because…female. Look I can lift a 20lb bag of mulch too.

    2. WestsideStory*

      I was reprimanded and made to remove a pumpkin I’d put on my desk to celebrate Halloween.
      Because “people might complain this is devil worship.” I’m not kidding.

  121. Kstruggles (Canada)*

    Employer subtly requires everyone to smile, even when not dealing with customers face to face. “because it will affect how you respond”… Yeah by sending me into a mental hospital (and I mean that literally. That level of micromanaged masking is extremely hard on my mental health.)

  122. kiki*

    One summer I worked at two retail chains that apparently were really strict about what phrases you used to greet customers and say goodbye. Unfortunately, both these jobs were not strict in the same way– the allowed phrases were different and had no real overlap. One job was a faux-beach cool atmosphere so we had a lot of insufferable phrases we were supposed to use like, “Welcome to the pier!” even though we were in a landlocked midwestern city in the dead of winter. But there were some options that were normal, albeit a bit casual. One of those phrases was, “Have a good one!”

    Well, one day I had the audacity to say “Have a good one!” to a client who was leaving at my other retail store. I don’t know if the customer actually complained or if a manager just overheard me, but a few shifts lager I was given A PRINTED LETTER telling me how inappropriate it was of me to have said, “Have a good one!” to a customer and that doing so again would lead to my termination. I clarified that it was just this phrase I used, there was nothing else I had said that contributed to this. They said that “Have a good one” is both a command to the customer and slang and therefore inappropriate to use in the workplace with a customer.

    I get that we all have our pet peeves with language, but come on! I’m trying to tell somebody that I hope they have a nice day! And I don’t think that this had been new or groundbreaking slang for at least twenty years when I said it.

    1. kiki*

      And for reference, the second job wasn’t some sort of really fancy shop or a retail store that handled something relating to a serious or somber subject matter. It is a strip mall retail chain that sells household decor and kitchen things.

  123. LabSnep*

    I got written up one day (as did my bff coworker) by a bananapants bullying coworker for “having too much fun at work”.

    I was having an animated conversation with said friend and we were not slacking off. Just too much fun.

    The write up form was not to be used for punitive reasons or revenge and should have just been tossed out, but management actually told us both about it.

    They lost two really good workers not long after that, btw.

  124. Margaret Cavendish*

    I have so many of these, now that I’m thinking about it! I had a colleague once who was leading a half-day workshop in another city. Travel options were:

    A: Leave home the day before, drive 5 hours, stay overnight, (do the presentation), drive 5 hours home. Total: 2 paid travel days, 1 night in hotel, 10 hours travel.

    B: Leave home the day of, drive 1 hour to the airport, fly 1 hour, (do the presentation), return flight 1 hour, drive home 1 hour. Total: 1 paid travel day, 4 hours travel.

    I’m sure can all see where this is going. She was required to pick option A, because driving is cheaper than flying! *eyeroll*

    1. Jenn*

      I can actually see the logic in making her take option A. What happens if her flight is delayed/cancelled?

      1. My Boss is Dumber than Yours*

        Yeah, and it’s also not just drive one hour to airport+fly one hour. It’s drive one hour to airport, arrive at least one hour early for checkin/boarding, fly one hour, deplane and get to hotel for easily another hour. You’re really not saving more than one hour each way at absolute best, while also introducing more risk of missing the presentation.

  125. Achoo*

    I one worked for a city/local Health Dept (pre-Covid). We went to different elementary schools each day to teach the kids about safety and health. I immediately started getting sick all the time, picking up every single germ & cold & strep bug, so I started teaching the kids who were sneezing & coughing how to cover their mouths “vampire style” with their arm sleeves, use tissues, etc, but immediately got reprimanded & in trouble for “deviating off script.” The HEALTH DEPARTMENT banned me from trying to teach kids how to avoid spreading communicable diseases. Five seconds of showing a kindergartner how to cover their mouth when sneezing was deemed disciplinary & they tried to fire me over it. I’ve never been so happy to quit a job as that one. Nonsensical dictators, no thanks.

    2. Caliente Papillon*

      I can’t think of an example right now but I remember having many – that makes no sense moments over certain requests during my work life and having the trainer/supervisor be like “I know but we have to…” it actually is really cringey.

  126. DivergentStitches*

    Just a silly one in that any time my manager sends an email telling us something new, we are ALL required to REPLY ALL saying that we received the message, “thank you, noted”, or some such. Same thing with a Teams message.

    Not to mention the “thank you!” “you’re welcome” back and forths in email and Teams. It’s exhausting.

    1. Ama*

      With the Teams message, couldn’t you all just thumbs up it or something? You can click on the emoji and see who has given one (sometimes we’re required to do this at my work when they put important news in the all staff channel, so they know we’ve seen it).

      1. NotSoRecentlyRetired*

        Back in the late 1990s I sent an email asking my supervisor something that I thought was somewhat time sensitive. I got the read receipt on it and expected an answer, waiting somewhat impatiently. After two hours I walked over to his desk and asked if he had an answer for me. He replied that he never actually read emails until he had printed them out and could read the printed copy.
        If I remember right, the answer was “no”, but I don’t remember now what the question was.

  127. Hillary*

    My favorite was a place that had an extremely detailed global dress code (this was ~2005).
    – if you’re wearing a skirt you have to wear nylons (but my boss said on my first day he ignored that one)
    – open-toe or open-back shoes were ok but not open-toe and open-back
    – no leather skirts, vests, pants, or blazers
    – if a man wore a v-neck sweater he had to wear a collared shirt underneath
    – no golf shirts unless you’re golfing that day
    – no cowboy boots (Texas HQ)

    1. frida*

      I worked at a company that had a very casual dress code but specifically only allowed sports team clothing on Fridays. The HQ was in another country, in a city that I found out had an insane sports rivalry, so I think it was genuinely to keep the personal drama to a minimum, but it started getting questioned when people showed up in like, F1 gear you *could* claim was a car brand, not a sports team.

  128. Sangamo Girl*

    I’ve been lucky but Mr. Sangamo Girls has had a few doozies. He worked the telecom help desk for a state agency that had an online ticket system. One day someone jotted down a note and forgot to transcribe the info into the system. The manager (affectionately known as The Broom) was furious about the lapse. Her answer was to go to every cube in the office and remove all writing utensils from the desks. Yep, no pencils for you!

    Help desk work is many times feast or famine; too busy to breathe or crushing boredom. During crushing boredom times Mr. SG would read manuals for the systems they supported figuring is he could solve the problem at the Tier 1 level it would save everyone time. He thought wrong. The directive came down, “No reading at your desk.” You would think she meant Danielle Steel novels. Nope, she meant everything. She took them all away.

    Fortunately this one has a rare and lovely karmic ending. Two of her best staff were military retirees already collecting pensions. After the pencil edict they went to lunch together. They came back with completed retirement packages, put them on her desk and said our last day is Friday. It was during a hiring freeze.

  129. DivergentStitches*

    Oh also I got written up and called “unethical” for telling a coworker that I was not happy in my current position and looking for another job. I worked in HR and it was the head of HR who called me unethical.

  130. Meyers and Briggs were not real doctors*

    My mom is a leap baby, happy 76th birthday mom.

    We were both 12 years old for several months at one point.

    She has made the local paper several times as she’s been interviewed for a front page story as a local leap baby, including at her front desk at her office job. She’s holding a calendar with the date circled. So i can only guess she was a celebrity at her company on leap days.

    She once got OUT of a speeding ticket because the cop had the same birthday! but it got her a ticket another time when she lipped off asking if they dont teach leapyear anymore in school to a clueless cop.

    I was once told that I could not discuss any significant others at work unless it was my spouse (the hetero kind). I knew it was bonkers and due to my manager’s religion. if you said “my boyfriend is here” youd be reprimanded, so u had to say “my ride is here”. The manager lowkey did not approve of unmarried women being alone with men or driven alone with men that were not her family either. If you lived with an SO you basically couldnt discuss it at work or on the floor. I was single when I worked there. everyone followed this rule, but only when she was around. I was only at that job 3 months thankfully. I think no one wanted to deal with reporting her, or the unnecessary audits that would then be brought on a small town small hospital kitchen. This was around turn of the century ago.

  131. In the middle*

    We had an entire professional development day about how to best serve our customers. Reader, we were a public school. When I asked who our customers were, I was told “the students”. No, there is already a word for them. It’s student. They are NOT customers. I’ve had a lot of bad principals, but that one took the cake.

    1. Quill*

      As a teacher’s kid I’m pretty sure the “customers” are the parents…

      Based on, you know, level of ridiculousness and demandingness. (Yeah my mom worked for a charter school…)

    2. BookMom*

      When my kids were in elementary, the longtime principal was moved to another school and replaced by the new superintendent’s crony. He started sending satisfaction surveys to the parents. Rate scale of 1-10 stuff. I returned it saying “Our teachers are professional educators and should not be subjected to these surveys.”

  132. TechWorker*

    My friend was told by the CEO of their smallish company that he needed to get buy in from senior people before publicising a project plan. He then asked who the senior people to get buy in from were & the CEO was like ‘oh well I can’t *tell* you that because it’s a bit sensitive and people might be offended they’re not on the list’. What?!

  133. Varthema*

    I was 22 years old, newly certified with a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certificate, just moved to Italy. Got my very first post-college teaching job at this tiny little place owned and run by a couple, that offered, like, hobby classes – English, Spanish, and a smattering of other languages, yoga, painting, computers (lol yes just “computers” – it was 2007)… you get the idea. There was one other English teacher whom my boss asked to show me the textbooks and give me a sense of what was going on. She was also American so we exchanged numbers and hung out sometimes. I also got to know just a little bit the Spanish teacher who finished class at the same late hour (10:30 pm) because we ended up catching the bus together. There was no breakroom or office or anything like that, so *max* we’d just exchange a couple friendly words in the hall before class or something, but it wasn’t like there was anywhere to have a conversation or anything.

    Then I was told somewhat severely by my boss that I wasn’t to speak with the other teachers when students were in the building because it wasn’t professional. This was the rule.

    I’ve never, before nor since, worked at a place of learning where the teachers weren’t allowed to speak to each other. They were odd in lots of other ways, but this was the big one!

  134. Other Alice*

    I hope Leap Year Employee is having a fabulous birthday!

    I’m not sure if it counts as a policy as it wasn’t written down anywhere, but ages ago I worked for a sales director who flat out forbade us to say no to clients. We couldn’t refuse any requests, regardless of how insane or literally impossible they were. I was part of the technical team that had to evaluate the requests and then implement them, so you can imagine how frustrating it was to know that something was simply not possible but being unable to say so.

    I had an older guy (I will not call him a gentleman because he was not) who wanted to place an ad on the front page of Facebook for his dinky local business. Not a normal ad that gets shown to X many people, he wanted a banner that everyone who went on facebook dot com would see. I think my answer, delivered with a straight face, was something along the lines of “I’ll see if [Sales Director] can get in touch with Mr Zuckerberg to get you a quote”. (Spoiler: he couldn’t.)

  135. rosieinlondon*

    I used to work at a Big Finance Company, though not in a finance-related role. This was the type of company that had tonnes of perks at every office, like free lunch, childcare on site, and an onsite gym. After I left, the HQ in another country decided all onsite office gyms would only be open for staff use outside of local trading hours, regardless of whether or not that was relevant to your particular role. So no gym-going during your lunch break, because the markets were open. Even if you were, like me, an HR person who did not do anything involving financial markets. Needless to say people were mad. I’m sure the decision was made mostly to reduce the staffing/cleaning/insurance costs for the gyms, but it resulted in a lot of staff buying dumbbells and keeping them at their desks so they could get a workout in.

  136. iglwif*

    At one point many years ago my whole department moved from one side of our building to the other, as a result of which a whole bunch of us got offices who had never had offices before. Nobody in this building had nameplates on their cubicles at that time–you were just supposed to somehow know where people sat if you needed to speak to them. (Yes, that worked about as well as you’re thinking.) Note that people at the company’s other location had both offices and nameplates on their office doors.

    So after we made the move, I printed out everyone’s name and job title on ordinary letter-size paper and stuck the sheets of paper to people’s office doors, so that everyone would have a clue where to look for specific colleagues. The president came into that building the next day (he had offices at both locations) and flipped his lid because it looked “messy”, and I had to take them all down. It was another couple of years before people in that building got nameplates.

  137. Heffalump*

    At OldJob, Fergus, the CEO, was an all-around jerk, control freak, quite a few other things. Either AAM didn’t exist, or I wasn’t aware of it when I was working there, or I would have submitted PDFs of his emails to Alison.

    One day he sent an email saying that making and receiving personal cell phone calls outside of breaks and lunch was forbidden. If we needed to make a call, we were to get permission from a manager and then make it from a company land line. His closing sentence was something like, “People didn’t make cell phone calls before cell phones were invented, so they don’t need to make them now.” Fortunately for my workgroup and me, my department wasn’t physically close to the executive suite, and our manager wasn’t a control freak like Fergus.

    At the risk of being uncharitable, I wasn’t terribly sorry when Fergus died at age 59.

    1. Emily Byrd Starr*

      “People didn’t make cell phone calls before cell phones were invented, so they don’t need to make them now.”

      That’s right. They made personal/family/medical appointment calls on their work phones.

  138. iglwif*

    Just thought of another one! This is from my spouse’s company. They’ve hot-desked for many years now, but in the pre-hot-desk days, there were rules about what you could display on your desk, and one of the rules was that if you had a calendar, it had to be the company-issued one. Not just “no scantily clad people” or “nothing NSFW” — you also couldn’t have landscapes, kittens, flowers … Not even if you hung it up with only the calendar part showing.

  139. Knighthope*

    After interviewing me, an elementary principal drew himself up next to me and asked, “How tall are you? I don’t hire anyone taller than me!” He was serious! Stunned, I blurted out, “Well, I guess I’d have to wear flats if I worked here!” and mentally thanked him for showing me who he was.

  140. Kathy the Librarian*

    I worked one place where we had one person who had no sense of humor but most of us did. Guess they complained. A written policy was soon handed out “Telling jokes was no longer allowed.” Well, I don’t smoke but I took smoke breaks with my friends outside just so we could tell each other jokes! Never NSFW, but still funny!

  141. raincoaster*

    I worked at a coffee place that was petrified of being sued by someone who scalded themselves on the coffee. We HAD to tell every customer “be careful, that’s really hot” even if they just got a glass of tap water. Even if they got iced drinks. A coworker was written up for not saying it to a customer who had an iced drink. Eventually the media called HQ for comment and the policy died.

    2. Emily Byrd Starr*

      I was about to tell you that this policy wasn’t all that bananacrackers, because someone actually sued McDonald’s when she spilled coffee on herself and got burned, but then when I read the part about ice drinks…..yeah, bananacrackers.

      1. CrazyLlamaDrama*

        Oh, I had to learn about the Stella Liebeck v. Mc Donald’s case in grad school! I had completely thought I knew the case details until we really delved into the lawsuit. What a horrible situation for that woman. She was hospitalized and had to get skin grafts because the coffee was excessively hot.

        1. Broken Lawn Chair*

          Also, people usually assume she was driving and trying to juggle the hot coffee or something, but she was not. Passenger, parked, and she was holding the cup between her legs (car had no cupholders) to not spill it while she was trying to get the lid off to add cream and sugar.

      2. Observer*

        I was about to tell you that this policy wasn’t all that bananacrackers, because someone actually sued McDonald’s when she spilled coffee on herself and got burned, but then when I read the part about ice drinks

        Even without that, it was a ridiculous policy. The McDonalds case played out the way it did because the coffee was too hot *in general*. On fact, management had been warned that it was too hot, it was hotter than any other chain kept their coffee, and there was a known history of burns from their coffee.

        Keeping beverages at appropriate temperature is a MUCH more effective way to avoid getting sued than warning people.

  142. Patches023*

    I once worked at an office where you accrued leave in dollars. If you were paid $10/hour and had 10 hours of leave, you had $100 banked for leave. If you got a raise, your money banked for leave did NOT increase. If you are now making $11/hour but still have $100 banked for leave, you can now only purchase 9 hours of leave. The owners gave someone a big raise and that person had a lot of hours banked for leave. The worker left right after the raise and the owners never got over the “injustice”.

  143. BellyButton*

    Early 2000s major tech company- in a smaller regional office. We weren’t allowed to have customized backgrounds or screensavers because ONE person, a few years prior, had used something inappropriate.

    3. Distracted Procrastinator*

      I would be so sad. I love my custom backgrounds. I take landscape pictures and upload my favorites into Teams. I change them depending on what I’m feeling that day. People have commented on them.

      It’s so dumb when management feels the need to make a blanket rule instead of just dealing with the individual who is the problem.

  144. Healthcare Manager*

    That overtime had to be completed before a staff member could leave early.

    Well technically, yes, this is how TOIL works in a ‘no unpaid leave’ workplace, enforcing it wasn’t beneficial to the employer or the employee.

    Context, we needed someone to do overtime to hit a target, they were happy to do it but wanted to take time off before the overtime date. Completely denied.

    Even though that flexibility benefited both employer and employee (win-win), the policy meant that the overtime had to be accrued first and they wouldn’t allow it. So the employee didn’t do the overtime request and it was a lose-lose.

  145. km85*

    During COVID our field staff could ride no more than two per truck. OK, I get that. But, the second had to sit in the back seat, because obviously that lessened the chances of transmission.

  146. Carl*

    Law firm, and spent a year working for a horrible sadistic dictator who made up insane rules just to have a reason to yell at people. A few favorites:

    1. Never end an email with “have a nice day” bc that is a “truly nasty thing to say.” A paralegal did this once, and oh my god, that poor girl. Immediate scolding email, copying 50 or so people. Went on for multiple pages about how “nasty” she had been and how she had tarnished firm reputation for saying “have a nice day.”

    2. No blue highlighters. Ever. For any reason. Even if your life depended on it. In court, something needed highlighting, and the court clerk held up a blue highlighter. Everyone on case was aware of how this was a SET IN STONE LIFE OR DEATH RULE for crazy boss, that the reaction was…**record screech**. The other partner on the case, who was sitting at counsels table in court, even audibly gasped!

    1. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

      Highlighters — you can’t leave us hanging! Did the partner ask for a sidebar with the judge to explain why they needed to get a different color?

      1. Carl*

        Haha. No, this was a federal judge who may have been the only person in the room more temperamental than crazy partner. The gasp/reaction was involuntary. Bu as crazy as partner was, no one would dare risk upsetting judge to please her.

    2. Leenie*

      I’m trying to figure out how wishing someone a nice day could possibly be characterized as nasty. Like if someone said it was banal or unprofessional, I wouldn’t agree and I’d think the person claiming that was unkind. But I wouldn’t actually question whether their tether to reality had become unfastened. Is it just that they were so nasty themselves that they thought all well wishes were insincere?

      1. Carl (a woman!)*

        She is, indeed, a very unhappy miserable person. Big firm litigation partner who at the time had been there 32 years (now 42 years…and counting – just looked her up!). No family. No hobbies. No life outside of work. Eats new paralegals for breakfast. Just…the worst. Yes, saw the world through her lens of unhappy, where every kind word must be sarcastic, etc. But also, I don’t think that’s what this was about. She was just bully who took her unhappiness out on people who couldn’t push back.

  147. Eloise Feather*

    How about a ridiculously GOOD policy? Leaders get supervisor coaching. What would you get coaching on to improve your people management?

    1. WellRed*

      Honestly I think my employer should offer some people management training to managers but all they ever seem to do is “ leadership” training which isn’t quite the same thing.

      1. MonteCristo*

        I got sent to a week long management training at my first job. I was not a manager, I was an entry level employee right out of college, but the considered all their exempt “managers”. Almost the entire week was spent on how to spot and thwart a union attempt.

    2. Dinwar*

      Management training in general seems to be considered a ridiculous policy. I was thrown in with a “You’ve done 90% of it, you’ll figure the rest out.” That 10% doesn’t seem like much, but it’s the stuff that would get you jail time, so it’s rather significant.

      Also, firm and enforced boundaries on jobs is one of my fantasies. I took a week (off and on) to write out what I expect different people in different roles on site to do, because we were bringing on someone to take over my role and my job description was (and mostly remains) “Do whatever needs done whenever it needs done to get projects done, possibly by magic.” We only half-jokingly say that it takes someone with the right kind of insanity to take on this role, and the only reason I’ve survived my role is that I view it as a religious observance (as a Pagan, a career literally healing the Earth is sort of a good thing). But boundaries mean increased staff which means increased costs which means lower margins…..

  148. Governmint Condition*

    I’m not sure if this counts, but I call today “Work for Free Day.” If you are salaried and not paid an hourly wage, your salary is stated as an annual amount. If you are paid every two weeks, you get that amount multiplied by 14/365 every paycheck. But in leap years, the calculation is 14/366. If your annual salary is $100K, this amounts to a little over $10 per paycheck. Essentially, you are working today for free, but the salary adjustment is spread out across the whole year. (If you are on an hourly wage, you are paid for actual hours worked, so it will not impact you.)

    2. lilsheba*

      I still don’t see how that can be true. I’m not really paid for time I’m paid for output and it’s a yearly amount, I don’t see how one day makes a difference in that.

  149. ScroogeMcDuck*

    CFO’s with interesting rules:
    – No one in the accounting department could use PTO during the first or last week of any month, during December, or anytime during the first quarter of the year.
    – Tipping for meals was limited to 15% and must be calculated on the total before tax and exclude any alcohol expense. Failing this would have your paycheck docked by the overage…even if the location automatically added in a tip that exceeded the rule and you had no control over it.
    – Transportation and hotels were measured against the lowest cost submission for anyone traveling. Meaning, they would wait until all expense reports were submitted for anyone going to XYZ conference, find the lowest cost for every category of item (flight, hotel, taxi, etc.) and that was the new maximum allowable expense for everyone at the company. Except of course for the CFO and CEO who would travel Business/First Class and stay in their preferred points hotel.
    – Air B&B, Uber, etc. were strictly forbidden – even if it is shown to be less expensive.
    – Employee Handbook: “Receipts must be submitted for any expense over $25.”
    CFO: “Expenses of any amount claimed without a receipt will not be reimbursed. Bank statements are not receipts. Neither are confirmation emails.”
    – All expenses for an event must be submitted at the same time. If anything is submitted later, it is denied. This was particularly fun for events you had to register for 3-6 months in advance, buy airfare months in advance (see: low cost rule, above), etc., etc.

    But, on the positive side, they never made employees share a hotel bed on trips, so…win?

  150. BellyButton*

    These are examples of policies that were just for me— I was once told that I dressed too nice for my position. I was a medical management software trainer going out to doctors’ offices, clinics, hospitals to train medical and support staff how to use the software. I have always liked dressing nice, wearing lots of dresses, heels, cardigans, or blazers. My peers were all former teachers or IT professionals in their 50s, a good 20+ yrs older than I was. They wore a lot of khakis and polo shirts. Even now, at 50, I do not wear khakis and polos or “sensible” shoes. It isn’t my style! But it was even much further away from my style when I was in my early 30s.

    I was also told it was unfair that other teams were asking to work with me instead of my peers- that we should all deliver the same level of service . Basically that I was out performing and better at my job that my peers, and it was unfair to them that the implementation teams were requesting me. I needed to perform at a lower level.

    And finally, I was told I didn’t go to lunch or after hour happy hours enough, I was a single woman in my early 30s- I had my own very active social life and tiny dogs I needed to get home to. I was told I was require to have lunch with the team at least 2 times a week and to attend at least 2 happy hours a month.

    All of the above was on my 6 mo review and was told if I didn’t dress less nice, perform at a lower level, and attend the lunches and happy hours (on my own unpaid time- because I was salary) I would be put on a PIP.

    1. WestsideStory*

      ….So…how long was it before you quit? Just asking, I feel you.

      Not too long ago, my sister-in-law, who is a genius at retail, and always VERY well turned out, applied for a job at Cracker Barrel – the restaurant known for its vast and kitschy gift shop. She was told that if hired , she would need to wear only khaki pants and a company polo, no jewelry except a watch and a wedding band, light lipstick and only clear nail polish on her fingernails. No exceptions.

      My SIL is a stylish woman. “I just couldn’t see it,” she said. NB, she wound up behind the jewelry counter at a strip mall store and really shone there.

      1. BellyButton*

        I quit within about 3 weeks after my 6 mo review. I am not someone who can not perform at my highest level. I like working, I like what I do, I like being really good- and any place who wants you to not is no place for me. In Friday’s OT I’ll about how I quit– it was on my proudest moments, and kind my only mic drop moment. LOL

  151. BCC*

    Many years ago, I was employed by a small town. My boss, the department head, had years-before gotten the position by nefarious means (he did something to torpedo the other candidate’s chances for the position and the other candidate was still employed by the town) so he was a bit paranoid. As such, no one was allowed to go up to the city hall building without his knowledge, even if it was job-related, for fear that you might bad-mouth him to the city manager or mayor. Also, everyone in the department was required to take their breaks at the same time everyday and take the break at the city shop building. So, if you were out working and it was break time, you had to pack up, drive back to the shop, take your break, and then go back to where you were working. The only exception to that one was emergency situations like a water-main break.

  152. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    My Company offers Time Off Without Pay, but leadership refuses to put any guidelines around how much can be used in a year, or how it should be used. And then these same members of leadership complain when people use 200+ hours of this Time Off Without Pay in a year (in addition to the Paid Time Off everyone receives during the year). When they complain to me (I’m in HR), I always remind them I have repeatedly requested they put a cap on the number of Time Off Without Pay Hours someone can use in a year, and I have also repeatedly shown them how much we are spending in Overtime Costs to cover these hours. But they continue to refuse to set a limit, even after we had a couple people use almost 500 hours of Time Off Without Pay each last year.

    Set a cap or quit complaining – Those are your options leadership team.

  153. Dragonfly7*

    My department director had a personal policy of not approving meal reimbursement for professional development events, like a conference, unless you were staying overnight. This was regardless of the length of the single day event or if the conference was local and meals for the week would cost less than a single night in a hotel. Other departments in our organization worked differently.
    One of my colleagues ended up on the committee that was reviewing the organizations reimbursement policies and asked us for feedback. I definitely included that I normally had 10-14 hour conference days where I wasn’t permitted to be reimbursed for meals. The following year, our organization had a policy that explicitly spelled out meal reimbursement amounts broken down into four hour increments.

  154. Jigglypuff*

    I had a director write in my annual review that I needed to make sure to greet her first rather than just replying to her greeting whenever she walked into our work area. I did not verbalize, but did think, that perhaps if she wore a bell around her neck like my cat did, I’d be able to hear her coming.

    Another director at a different (but just as dysfunctional) organization told me I had to stop “looking grumpy” when I disagreed with her.

    2. Skippy*

      I had a director who gave me a stellar performance review — except for the fact that he didn’t like that I would apparently make a face if he proposed a bad idea in a meeting. I was sorely tempted to tell him to stop proposing bad ideas, but instead I worked on my poker face.

  155. Office Drone*

    Years ago I worked at an office that was very sleek looking — everything was white and glass (and impractical). The office manager was very focused on keeping the office pristine, to the point where there were rules about personal items on desks (nothing unless it was a company logo mug), rules about post it notes (a big no no) but the one that affected me the most was about computer mice. We had wired computer mice, and since I am left handed, I had my mouse hooked into the left side of my computer with my mousepad on that side (as you might expect!!!). My first couple of weeks working there I kept coming into the office from meetings and finding that someone had switched my mouse. At first I thought it was because someone else had used my computer for some reason, but then the office manager sent out a note saying that all office mice must be on the same side of the computer unless you were actually using it. Which meant whenever I left the office I had to switch my mouse to the right side (or the “wrong side” if you are a lefty).

    I didn’t last very long at that job.

  156. Nat20*

    Not unheard of (unfortunately), but I just often think about the hotel front desk I worked at where we weren’t allowed to sit down. Didn’t matter how slow it was, didn’t matter if there was literally no one in the lobby. We always had to stand at the desk and they forbade bringing any chairs or even stools back there, because sitting down “looks unprofessional”. Of course, leaning waaaay over on the desk to try to get off your feet after 7 hours of standing obviously looks much more professional…

    I’ve worked at 4 other hotels and each one had a policy that sitting at the desk is fine, and you just have to stand up when someone walks up to the desk. And that worked great. This was at much nicer properties too; the standing-only rule was at the crappiest hotel I ever worked at.

    I see other front desk/customer service type industries with similar rules and it’s always ridiculous.

    1. iglwif*

      I recently helped run an event at a hotel, and the staff coordinator guy asked us if it was okay for the staff member running the coat-check to have a stool or chair to sit on. We were all flabbergasted and said “HE DOESN’T HAVE A CHAIR? PLEASE GET HIM A CHAIR!”

      Well, it turns out that some companies who do events at this hotel do not like the coat-check guy to be seen to be sitting down. Revolting.

    2. ElliottRook*

      This is a trend that I hope to see die out in every industry. People should get to sit!

  157. Jigglypuff*

    I worked for a religious organization the combined a church and a school into one umbrella ministry.

    1. The women were told we were not allowed to have any bras hanging out to dry in our (ministry owned) homes, because if a maintenance worker had to walk through your house (no, there was no 24-hour warning or anything like that), then they’d see the bra and think about what goes in a bra and then they would sin in their thoughts and that would be our fault.

    2. Every year the ministry put on a couples’ retreat around Valentines Day. The unmarried staff were voluntold to babysit the children of these couples. For the entire weekend. For free. At the end of the weekend, there was a (required) activity for the singles to attend as a reward for all that work. They would bring in the same speaker who had been featured at the couples’ retreat and he would give a sermon like this: “You are single because you are bitter about being single. Once you embrace and accept your singleness, god will send you a spouse.”

    3. Since the church and the school were tied together, the deacons tracked whether or not school staff tithed on their income. We were required to tithe at least 10%, it had to be given in the form of a check (not cash), and it had to be put in the offering plate so others could see us doing it. One of my friends played in the church orchestra and was chastised for not getting up in the middle of the offertory to put her check in the plate.

      1. Ms. Murchison*

        The ministry can’t tell them how to dry their brags because then they’d think too much about what goes in bras and end up sinning. They probably expected women to find a way to magically make it happen without inconveniencing the men with our existence.

    2. Emily Byrd Starr*

      And now I know why so many young people are leaving religion…..because they were raised in churches like that one.

      1. lilsheba*

        Yup, this is why I was never in religion in the first place. I won’t put up with those pointless and stupid restrictions.

  158. Anney*

    I was told by a female boss that I couldn’t carry something somewhat heavy because I might want kids someday.

    1. ElliottRook*

      Maaaaan if anyone tries that on me, they get to hear all about how I’ve begged for a hysterectomy since I was 19 and how my wife and I bonded over not wanting kids and what shitty parents we’d be if we tried. Even when I was younger and thought maybe I’d “mature” into wanting kids, I wanted to adopt rather than suffering through the horror show that is pregnancy.

    2. Chirpy*

      I’ve always wanted to ask these people if I should just not ever lift a small child of the same weight, then.

  159. a former scientist?*

    I once worked at a veterinarian’s office where the doctor required you to memorize scripts for your end of phone calls and take every phone call exactly the same way, down to the words. He made you say them over and over until you memorized them. Even if a customer asked a question, you couldn’t respond unless it was in the script.

  160. Professor Ronny*

    I teach at one of the top 50 largest public universities in the country with over 40,000 students. I teach in the business program and the two courses I teach are both tough. It’s my job to teach the material to students well enough that one time through the course is enough.

    However, every year I have to take about a dozen courses because the university does not think we can go for more than a year without redoing the exact same course. Some of these courses include ethics, the Clery Act, FERPA (student rights), safety, internet security, and so on.

    To make matters worse, the software they use often does not register your completion. For one course, I had to “take” it six times before the system recognized I had actually taken it.

    To make matters even worse, there is no real customization in the course content. So, I’ve had to take a safety course where I was taught how to lift properly (a textbook?) and how to properly use power tools (an electric pencil sharpener?) The safety course had absolutely no information on what to do with students if there was an emergency (active shooter or tornado, for example). For departments with labs (chemistry, engineering, physics, and so on…) there was also no information on how to run the labs safely.

    Every year, I have to take a course on safety in a university vehicle and what to do if you have a wreck. I have been there 25+ years and have never driven a university vehicle.

    The State has a law against using public money for food or drink so a manager I know got in trouble for buying Gatorade for groundskeepers on a day it was over 100 degrees outside.

    1. Pobody’s Nerfect*

      I think I used to work at that university. Had to take a very intense 4-day emergency response training even though I was never an emergency responder or anything close to it. Ain’t bureaucracy grand.

  161. Lia*

    When our manager asks a question, we are not allowed to respond in any way that suggests the answer is something simple or easy. So never use the word ‘just’, as in, “you just have to…” or “you should just….”. Nothing like “all you have to do to do is (thing)” or “oh, that’s simple, just (thing).” I have explained that no one is using it as an insult, nor does anyone think they are stupid, it’s really more about reassuring them, but they were not convinced. So anytime you talk to said manager, you have to carefully watch what you’re saying or else they get upset.

    There is another manager who demands opening small talk when you call them. Not just “Hello, Manager, (question)…”, but a “Hello, Manager, how are you today?” and so on. They will not answer any questions until they feel they have been greeted appropriately. Also, they will not speak to you in person unless you are not doing ANYTHING else. Not typing, not searching for an email, not looking up some notes, not putting stamps on the mail – you have to be facing them and looking at them for them to talk. We waste a lot of time in service of management egos.

  162. SeekYou*

    I worked briefly as a staff member of a well-known youth serving organization in the US and whenever anyone yelled “How ya’all feeling?” we were required to yell back “Fired up!” to show our youthful positivity. Not only was this required AT work, it was also required out in public. I would be walking down the street as an adult person by myself and would be required to yell this when strangers on the street yelled this at me (and they did).

  163. Jonathan MacKay*

    At my previous employer – (the one which gave me the FULL MOTIVATION to pursue HR as a career path – I started the program the year I left the job, and am currently working on finishing the final course for a Certificate in Human Resource Management. Next step – finding a job in that field!) there was the expectation of concealing supplier information. On one hand, that’s entirely reasonable, as you don’t want your customers cutting you out and going directly to the source….. except that wasn’t the reasoning….

    Stuff came in from China – and we were instructed/required to rebox/relabel/cover everything that even remotely had Chinese lettering on it – (To the point of even sticking stickers on skids! ) prior to shipping things out to our customers in the US. (Note: There was a US location – but this was the Canadian ‘Head Office’…)

    On US Customs Paperwork, the country of original origin was then put as Portugal.

    Regrettably, I stayed there for almost a year, with my conscience growing more and more pricked by the unethical practices I saw until I walked off the job without a backup plan in place.

    Ended up where I am now because the guy they wanted to hire canceled his acceptance of the job the day before he was supposed to start. Worked out for me!

  164. Michelle*

    I was let go from an organization whose policy was for the direct manager of the fired individual to be the one to escort them through the building and out the door. Alone. In my case, as well as I’d imagine most others, the direct manager of a fired employee likely had a hand in firing them – and even if they didn’t, they’re likely to get the brunt of the employee’s initial shock and anger!

    It was a long, awkward walk down two hallways, a slow elevator, and a large lobby to that front door. I was FURIOUS with her and had to work hard to keep my emotions under control – I can only imagine how she must have felt! What a weird, dumb rule.

  165. Local Neighborhood Introvert*

    One small nonprofit I briefly worked at had a “Friendliness policy.”
    It was fine in practice. We were expected to greet people who came in (even if it wasn’t our job) and be friendly to each other.
    Wild that they called it a policy, though. It certainly reinforced some of those cult vibes.

  166. So they all cheap-ass rolled over and one fell out*

    I worked at a publicly traded company that had among their many, many written policies that if you were found to be job hunting, you could be considered at the company’s discretion to have voluntarily resigned your position.

  167. R Flaum*

    After re-reading that Leap Year post and its follow-up I have to say that the original submitter should be commended for their hard work combatting the stereotype that Canadians are nice.

  168. merula*

    I have a coworker who is currently working on a project with a trademarked title, like “Netscape Navigator” or “Gimbels Parade”. The name of our company is, under the trademark filing, part of the trademark, so it’s like WakeenCo LlamaSoap.

    This coworker is waging a campaign inside our company to prevent anyone from referring to the project as “LlamaSoap”, and trying to fine people $5 if they say it without the “WakeenCo”. We’re all WakeenCo here, the WakeenCo part should be implied. People are starting to talk more about this fine campaign than the actual project.

    That last part is particularly impressive because this project has now been delayed for 3 months at the very last minute, and a fairly critical error was discovered that won’t be able to be fixed by the time it launches (even with the late launch; they’re unrelated). It is baffling to me that someone is spending so much time on a pet peeve around the name when there are clearly bigger fish to fry.

    1. NMitford*

      I worked at PricewaterhouseCoopers shortly after the merger of Price Waterhouse and Coopers & Lybrand, which resulted in all new branding for the new company, and we were most emphatically NOT allowed to abbreviate it to PwC, even in graphics where it was impossible to fit PricewaterhouseCoopers. Since I left the company seems to have given up that battle and is now branded as PwC, but the memos about not abbreviating it — ever — were epic back in the day.

      Side note — people were told to get rid of all “legacy” branded materials, so no pens or padfolios or whatever that said Price Waterhouse on them (I worked in an office that had been Price Waterhouse, so that’s what we had on hand). That also rankled the employees. I stumbled on a missed box of Price Waterhouse yellow highlighters and could have auctioned them to the highest bidder and gone on vacation because the Price Waterhouse lifers were so upset about it.

      1. General von Klinkerhoffen*

        I worked for a BigLaw firm whose name had a homophone in it. For the sake of the example let’s call them Hartland LLP.

        They had an enormous international rebrand in which everything had to fit the new house style including changing all the chairs so the upholstery would have the new colour scheme, every scrap of paper, ballpoint pen, etc etc.

        Anyway I wandered back into the office one day after lunch and cast my eye over the enormous decal which had been added to the glass wall in reception.

        “Huh,” said I. “I didn’t realise we spelled it with an E.”

        We did not. The firm name was misspelled in foot-high letters. The office manager changed colour; the decorators’ eyes bulged; and the carefully applied decal was equally carefully removed. We had to check every bit of physical merchandising to be sure the error hadn’t been replicated elsewhere.

      2. iglwif*

        My spouse works in a facilities-adjacent role at a Large Multinational Corporation, and every time there is a rebrand he ends up having to yeet massive amounts of perfectly good corporate swag, stationery, conference both stuff, etc. because it’s no longer on brand. We have had a lot of no-longer-on-brand pens, highlighters, notepads, post-it notes, etc. in our home over the years because it’s considered fine to take it home and use it as long as nobody out in public sees it. Somehow.

  169. Mill Miker*

    I worked at a place once where a new VP had signs put up in the meeting rooms with rules, and the one that always stuck out to me was: “Do not raise the same issue multiple times in one meeting, that’s politicking and strictly forbidden”

    What this meant in practice was that if you asked about something, and that VP went on an unrelated tangent, or gave an unclear answer, you’d get in trouble if you tried to bring him back on topic or ask for clarification. He could harp on about whatever he wanted though.

  170. Frango mint*

    Years ago I worked for a federal agency that had its own 9 story building. There were 6 teams per floor, and a cafeteria on the ground floor. When I started working, employees couldn’t have a team refrigerator or coffee maker because the public would be outraged that we were using electricity for personal use. After 10 years there, we were allowed to have a fridge and coffee makers for our team, but we had to pay for them ourselves. There were committees appointed to figure out pricing and purchase of the refrigerators. And a list of the approved users of the fridge, because some folks refused to pay.

  171. AnonyNurse*

    Hospital nurse. We were required to wear a specific color scrubs. Caribbean blue. I am very petite. It was extremely difficult to find pants that fit in Caribbean blue. They were constantly sliding down.

    Can I wear black scrub pants? No. Patients rely on color-coded staff to know who we are. They need my legs to be the same color as my top to make this assessment? Yes.

    If you wanted to wear a long sleeve shirt under your scrubs, it had to be Caribbean blue, white, or black. Not gray. Not navy.

    My last shift I wore a bright pink long sleeve shirt under my Caribbean blue scrubs. Boss told me to take it off. I said send me home. She relented.

  172. Jellyfish Catcher*

    I’m hoping to hear if the woman with the amethyst wedding ring – if she took that &%$# job and/or got to wear her Actual Wedding Ring. I have an unusual wedding ring, and worked in the same large building as my husband, on the opposite ends, didn’t see each other during the day. I alsoused my original last name.
    Then came the annual golf day….apparently my husband put his arm. over my shoulder sometime during the day, and rumors were on! My area and boss thought it was hilarious; out in the main halls I occasionally said: “Yes, I do know he’s married – I was at the wedding. Have a nice day!” and breezed by.

    1. Cyndi*

      Wait, what was this story? My mom has an amethyst wedding ring, but she hasn’t had a regular office job since about 1990 so it can’t have been her.

      1. Hlao-roo*

        Amethyst wedding ring story: it’s linked in the first paragraph of the post, where the text says “couldn’t wear your wedding ring.”

        You can also find it by searching “new employer says I can’t wear my wedding ring, does it look bad to send emails late at night, and more” on this site’s search bar (it’s the first letter in the post from September 5, 2018).

  173. Stella*

    This is low stakes but a zillion years ago, I worked as bookkeeper for a small, ladies clothing store. The owner, manager and most of the customer were VERY old school.

    The owner chastised me (gently) for not using the subtotal key and saving an extra step (didn’t even save a full second, but…) and yet I was required to write out the FULL STATE NAME while addressing envelopes to send bills to customers even though the Postal Service prefers official state abbreviations (and Miss Manners would probably be fine with it as well.)

      1. Stella*

        The store was actually located in Massachusetts and most of its clientele reside in-state or Connecticut, so imagine the fun of handwriting that out instead of MA or CT…

  174. Put the Blame on Edamame*

    I heard a story today about the new CEO of a well known UK supermarket chain- Brits, think Return of the Mack – who demands the 100+ people in his top leadership team join him in daily calls at 7am and 7pm. In these calls they review any customer complaints and the leader of the relevant area of complaint needs to call the customer directly to make amends.

  175. melancholy*

    At a college library, our equipment policy for years had a line that Athletics department staff were not allowed to check out a/v equipment. I asked around, everyone agreed that was weird and no one knew why. I figure there has to be some story there.

  176. Employee of the Pointy Haired Boss*

    The boss at the design company I work at sent out a slack message on the all company channel one day (with an all caps many exclamation points title) because he was outraged that the design team were asking for feedback on designs throughout the day. He then implemented a new policy where by he would be available for only 90 minutes per day for giving feedback. Any creative needing his feedback would need to book time within this slot and they would only be allowed 30mins, so for a company with many projects happening at once only 3 got feedback per day. To make sure that they kept meeting times down the staff had to send him a presentation ahead of time so he could review it. The thing is he had final say on all creative work so nothing could go ahead without his feedback so this policy just made everything super slow and inefficient. Rather than being able to quickly ask ‘what do you think about this?’ in a message or 5min call the staff all had to waste time, booking meetings, making presentations and then waiting possible days for feedback.

  177. kupo*

    We weren’t allowed to show up on a report of the top X% of internet usage for the company, which means that X% of employees were on a warning at least at all times. This even included using the internet to perform our job functions, as I still got chastised for it even after I stopped using my work computer to do anything on the internet that wasn’t required in my job duties. At that time I did have a project that required going to multiple external websites to gather data, which I could have gotten more accurate data from another department but they simply never replied to my emails and my boss wasn’t willing to even try discussing it with them. After I explained all this to my boss and could show him what specific information I was gathering off each of the urls tracked in my usage data, he dropped it and I was allowed to keep doing my job.

  178. MountainGirl19*

    The stupidest sick leave policy at a very large, very well-known healthcare care provider: You were allotted so much sick time per year BUT you got ‘points’ taken off if you used it, in a way that made no sense, which affected your annual reviews/performance and would receive verbal and written warnings that could eventually get you fired. Say you were given 10 sick days per year (1 point for one day), so if you called out one day, you got one point docked. If you called out two days in a row, you got two points docked. BUT if you called out three days in a row, they’d roll it back to one point docked because that means, ‘you must be really sick and not faking it.’ So if you went beyond the 10 days/points for the year, you received a written warning that I guess you better not ever get sick again? I asked my manager what was the incentive then to not call out that 3rd day even if you were better and she said it was out of honor and dignity that we wouldn’t. I also pointed out the policy encourages people to come in sick. No response. People, we are nurses. WTF?

    1. lilsheba*

      I will never understand sick policies like this in general, but especially in healthcare! They of all people should know better.

  180. Ruby Slipons*

    I quit a job a few years ago because the manager was big time spiraling and instating all kinds of crazy rules. The worst one? No talking in an open concept office space because, and I quote, “The only thing you should be talking about is work, and all work discussions can happen in scheduled conference room meetings.” He also banned personal items on our desks. This was at a performing arts center, so hardly a place that required a uniform look!

    He was finally fired about a year after I left for falsifying information related to a medical leave.

    1. lilsheba*

      Once again I am so glad I work from home. My desk can be the way I want it, and it’s full of toys/crystals/candles/incense etc. And no harsh overhead lighting. And what do you know I’m happy and cozy all day which makes me want to work more!

  181. Pool Noodle Barnacle Pen0s*

    From an old job – No one in my department was allowed to put an out-of-office auto-reply on their email when they were on PTO, because ONE TIME, a customer got someone’s auto-reply, panicked, and somehow their issue got escalated all the way up to the president of the company, who was annoyed at having to help a customer.

    So because ONE customer was too stupid to figure out what to do when his usual point of contact was out of the office, the rest of us had to use a complicated, highly politicized work-around of auto-forwarding to shared email boxes rather than just have an auto-reply stating whom to contact in our absence.

    It didn’t help matters that my manager at the time could not for the life of him keep track of who was going to be on PTO, despite the fact that our payroll/HR software had a calendar that displayed all of that information. All he had to do was look at it. But that was too hard I guess.

  182. Budgie Buddy*

    I wonder what the policy would be on rose gold for the company with the super strict dress code. I argue that since it is a type of gold then by definition it is gold colored. They might say that since copper is involved, rose gold doesn’t count.

  183. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just good at it*

    Former Inner city high school business teacher. During lack of professional development days I was often assigned to the science department because there are so many similarities teaching chemistry and typing.

    The HVAC, Welding and Auto Shop teachers were dumped on the English department because dangling mufflers and dangling participles were almost the same.

  184. Lou's Girl*

    CEO of large regional, multi state company with 13000 employees, decided we wasted too much money on supplies. So he decided that all supply orders would go through him. ALL OF THEM- every single pen, box of paper, roll of tape, etc. That rule lasted about 2 weeks.

    He retired, new CEO decided that women were not allowed to wear ‘colored’ shoes (his wording). Only black, dark brown, or navy (those of us that worked in corporate typically wore suits with dress shoes). He specifically mentioned women since men (he decided) only wore black, brown or navy dress shoes anyway. He did however, drop mandatory pantyhose from the dress code at that time as well, so a win?

  185. Anon4This*

    I really wish Alison had named and shamed the company and manager with Leap Day employee. They deserved to get piled on, and not just in the comments.

    1. linger*

      Not ever going to happen, because the LW was the manager, not the employee.
      LW anonymity is sacrosanct on an advice site for very good reason.

    2. ElliottRook*

      Bold of you to assume she has that info, even if un-anonymizing letter writers wasn’t a terrible idea.

  186. MountainGirl19*

    I got reprimanded/written up for violating the ‘no personal phone calls’ policy back in the early 90s pre-cell phone era at a pizza restaurant I worked at because someone called to place an order and I picked up (since that was my job) and ends up we were old coworkers at a prior restaurant and she asked me how I was doing and I did the usual, great, getting ready for summer, so good to hear your voice, how have you been? And what would you like to order? The whole convo took 2 minutes. We were not timed on taking orders so that wasn’t the issue. Kat, the manager, overheard this short, friendly convo and thought what a perfect opportunity to put me in my place. She had it out for me from the beginning (she made that pretty clear). Kat, I still think you are a Rotten Egg, lol :).

  187. Mary Mary Quite Contrary*

    Long ago I worked at a publishing company in a large city, where most of us commuted to work by public transportation. All of the editorial staff reported into one manager and all of the sales staff reported into another.

    The sales staff was allowed to leave at 4:45 so they could get a seat on their way home. The editorial staff was forbidden to leave before 5:00. I was on the editorial side.

    It sounds small but honestly that 15 minutes meant finding a seat or standing for 30 – 45 minutes to get home.

    We banded together and went to our boss with reasons why this was not only unfair but also creating some bad feelings between our teams. We pointed out that everyone worked late as needed when deadlines required it. We mentioned that lots of people started early. We said it really wasn’t fair that half the team was getting a perk that the other wasn’t. Our boss (one of the few people who drove to work) refused to hear a word of it…the working day ends at 5 and not a minute sooner.

    Editorial had a lot of turnover.

  188. Anony*

    We can’t take single days off. Only full weeks of vacation. I told them I was taking a single day off this year for the first time in about 5 years and they could deal with it or I can call off. I’m in a field where I need coverage to take a day off.l, so that’s not a good option either. They relented.

  189. nothankyou*

    Working as a bank teller we were not allowed to say “no problem” as a response to customers when they thanked us during a transaction. I guess they felt that it implied that there was a problem in the first place instead of just an incredibly normal, casual way to respond to someone when you assist them with something.

    1. No problem is the problem*

      Not gonna lie, I really dislike when people say “no problem” rather than “you’re welcome.” As you said yourself, it’s casual. And in the context – usually said in response to someone saying “thanks” – it doesn’t even make sense.

      1. C Baker*

        Phatic expressions don’t have to make sense. “You’re welcome” makes no more intuitive sense than “no problem”, does it?

      2. iglwif*

        It’s all culture. There’s no logic.

        My mom lived part-time in South Africa for a while, and while there she was chastised for saying “you’re welcome”. The accepted phatic expression there is “a pleasure.” Which is a lot like “no problem”, if you think about it.

    2. Look User! Even the Shop is for Sale!*

      That’s weird. I always thought that saying ‘no problem’ means something like ‘it didn’t inconvenience me to help you/give you that information/do you that favor/etc.’

    3. Name (Required)*

      It’s usually older people that have an issue with “no problem”, I have found (as also an older person who it used to bother but now does not).

  190. Porch Gal*

    I worked part time on phones for a mutual fund company. There were certain transactions that required a physical signature from a supervisor, or something had to be faxed. In those cases we told the caller it was being processed, gave them their confirmation number, then when the call ended we’d put our phone on “wrap” status and go to get the signature or send the fax. Welp, management complained that we were spending too much time on “wrap.” So the new policy was to put the client on hold during the call, go get the signature or send the fax, then return to finish up the call. Didn’t get anything done any faster or any differently, but now the client (or their broker/advisor) had to sit around on hold and wait for us to return so they could get their confirmation number.

    But at least our percentage of “wrap” time went down, which was all management cared about.

    1. linger*

      So wrap time (waiting for a supervisor) signals inefficiency of management, not workers.
      Of course management wants it reduced without having to do anything about it themselves, like maybe hiring more supervisors.

  191. Nessness*

    When I worked for the government,
    I spent a few days doing surveying on land owned by a mining company. They had a rule that everyone who worked on site had to take a two-hour safety course and wear a hard hat at all times.

    All of our surveying took place in open fields, miles from any mining operations. It was also super hot, so we asked if we could get an exception to the hard hat rule, but nope. The craziest part was, they had mine employees make unannounced visits to make sure we were wearing our hard hats (again, this was an open field with no current or past mining operations).

  192. Clearly Hysterical*

    I once worked a customer service job (email facing) where our supervisor (hereby referred to as Big C) imposed a “no freaking out” rule. At first this seemed reasonable: if there’s a problem, don’t immediately panic and start saying “I can’t do this I can’t do this!”. The catch was that Big C extended this policy to include ANY instance where an agent underneath her would say “I can’t do this.” This included things like bringing an escalated case to her that we were literally told not to handle (think, ‘customer threatening to sue’ level threats), letting her know your computer crashed and you can’t work an email box until you call tech support, being unable to cancel Saturday obligations because her Mandatory Overtime hours weren’t announced until that Friday… Bringing anything that you “couldn’t do” to her attention would often be met with a “no freaking out”, regardless of if you were panicking or completely calm, and it often took a good five minutes to badger her into offering you any assistance.

    I think the peak of this “no freaking out” policy being enforced was the day one girl came in, VERY CLEARLY in visible pain, and tried to go to Big C to let her go early. Big C told her more than once “I can’t have you crying at me this early in the morning, no freaking out” and would keep sending her back to her desk until she ‘calmed down’. I think the poor girl worked for another full hour before the team lead came in and managed to talk Big C into finally letting her go. She came in the next day with antibiotics for a tooth infection and a doctor’s note for a scheduled root canal so her “last minute PTO” would be approved two weeks later.

    It became a bit of an office in-joke among the floor and the team lead to ask if a problem you’re having was worse than a tooth infection, “so I know if I’m allowed to freak out”. Big C never saw the irony in this.

  193. Nautical by Nature*

    The last place I worked we weren’t allowed to turn the lights on because one person requested an accommodation for migraines. Rather than provide them with more flexible work from home time as requested, we all had to work in dark. I thought my supervisor’s head was going to exploded when I requested an accommodation to turn the lights on.

    1. Bamboo plants need light too*

      I’m starting to wonder if you and I worked in the same office, because we were also routinely forced to work in the dark for hours at a time because “office lights give people migraines”. As if having no light but the bright computer screen shining directly in your eyeballs didn’t also give people headaches…

    2. Skippy*

      In my last job I worked next to someone who wouldn’t let us turn the overhead lights on in our cubicle area. Most of the time it was fine as we had lots of natural light, and I had a desk lamp, but in the winters when it got dark early it was like working in a cave.

      I also could never wipe down my desk when she was there because she didn’t like the smell of cleaners. I had to wait until she’d left for the day.

    3. lilsheba*

      When I worked in an office I would have welcomed this. Those overhead lights are NOT necessary, you can get a desk lamp.

  194. AnonForThis*

    Most of my examples are a result of working for the government, and have been legislated on the grounds of government employees not being allowed nice things, combined with some weird bureaucratic quirks.

    Some examples
    – we need to take PTO to attend the holiday party if its during the work day.
    – we are legally prohibited from spending department money on food for internal events (this includes offering free coffee). Our weekly coffee social hour is privately funded by employees.
    – employers are legally required to pay out unused vacation at the end of the year/when leaving, but the government did not give us any extra budget when this was instituted. So people will be listed as an employee on vacation for weeks after leaving the job, as they get paid out. However, if they’re moving abroad this makes getting the last paycheque very difficult, as the required bank for depositing pay does not allow you to transfer the money out from abroad.
    – my spouse and I are coworkers; she is faculty, I’m staff. Her vacation time rolls over in August, mine rolls over in January, which makes planning long vacations interesting.
    – We got official wedding leave when marrying (a government thing). I got 8 days, she got 14, based on our different job categories.

  195. Ann Perkins Knope*

    My workplace has flexible (new since Covid) work hours: you can start anytime between 7:30 and 8 and then leave at the corresponding time in the afternoon after your 8 hours of work. you get 45 minutes for lunch: 15 minutes paid, 30 unpaid. oh, we’re salaried and exempt. I am often late (no regrets). my two levels up boss has had a talk with me and a “counseling” which is “non-disciplinary” but could escalate to a verbal warning, than a written, than an unpaid suspension. the counseling says for the next six months I’m required to check in every morning, with my supervisor or him, or find another supervisor if neither of them are available. they do not check what time I leave; they are out the door on the dot and out of sight out of mind. presumably quite literally for them: if they allow us to work from home (you can for reasons of waiting for a package or delivery or having your car in the shop but NOT for being minorly sick or inclement water), you must send a list of what you’re working on that day. they do no follow up on this; or ask nothing of what you do if you come in. legend speaks of a man who did absolutely nothing but come in every day and he lasted two years.

    another one: we have required safety equipment for our work in the field. it’s expensive, I’m sure, but niche and high maintenance. three coworkers lost theirs one day, tried to find it (has gps tracking), got pulled in for a “counseling” – they are pissed, she, go to hr. leadership say, this is how we’ve /always/ handled equipment loss. oh, by the way, that exact same equipment you lost 6 months ago that we were well aware of and didn’t do this for? we’re going back now and require a statement and are going to do a “counseling” for
    you two.

    bonus: DEIJ focused org with lots of programs and events for employees and ERGs and committees for employees to do the work for the org and literally every program and event from a 15 minute lunch event to a commitment to a multi hour a week program to a weekend volunteer program includes the caveat “ask your supervisors permission to attend” which may not seem like a lot but combined with the oppressively inflexible and monitored work environment is banana in pajamas.

    my manager, who is entirely, 100% superfluous, once sent an email telling us not to “put the wrench down” to come back to base for our lunch, instead we should keep working, or have lunch out there or bring our lunches. was this ever a problem, of course not, nor would this fix it if a problem did exist even, or, further, if this was a reasonable thing to ask. of course we are absolutely categorically also not allowed to work through lunch and leave early (if you have a very good reason and do work through lunch, if you get your supervisors permission, you can leave 30 minutes early – no longer entitled to that 15 minutes of paid lunch, obviously.) we were also advised that if we are eating other than between the times of 11-1 to let our supervisors know, so they can “cover our butts”. at this point you may be forgiven if you forgot that we are salaried exempt workers.

  196. EmailNotApproved*

    At my first job we had to fill out a paper email requisition form if we wanted to send an email to someone outside of the company. We had to write out the entire message and the reason we needed it sent. One person had access to the single outside connection, reviewed the requests, typed them in, and sent them if approved. They rejected most requests and, to the best of my knowledge, there was no mechanism in place for receiving external emails, either new ones or responses to approved outgoing mail.

    2. Look User! Even the Shop is for Sale!*

      Okay that’s really ridiculous. I mean I get it if you have trouble with writing and ask for help with writing emails from time to time but for a whole company? And that you couldn’t receive external mails makes the whole thing kinda useless. Did you ever find out why?

  197. HB*

    I once had an awful job at a gym’s corporate headquarters. I typed up entry forms from people who were entering to win a free one year gym membership, and then a salesman would call them and tell them they were the big winner…of a free week’s membership. It was not satisfying work, but it was the manager who made the job unbearable.

    The dumbest policy, which she STRICTLY enforced, was that you had to bring your lunch in a company-branded lunch bag. You were not allowed to put anything in the refrigerator if it was not in a company-branded lunch bag. You were also not allowed to keep any food at your desk. They were out of company-branded lunch bags when I started, so I never received one. I didn’t drive to work so I couldn’t keep my lunch in my car, and my lunch break wasn’t long enough to walk anywhere and buy something, so I didn’t eat lunch for the two and a half weeks I worked there.

    The manager was obsessed with the dress code, and the various ways the evening shift would break the dress code. She would interrupt our work regularly (even though we were the day shift) to lecture us about the dress code. She briefly mentioned the people who wore tattered or revealing clothing, but devoted most of her ranting to corduroy. She was personally offended that anyone would think corduroy was a professional fabric and appropriate to wear to the office. I obviously went out and bought a matching corduroy jacket and pants after her first rant, because I knew I wasn’t long for this job anyway, and I thought it would be funny.

    Since I couldn’t bring a lunch, I was starving in the afternoon, so I started chewing gum. I spent my 8 hour shifts silently typing, so I didn’t think she’d even notice. She did notice. Somehow she overlooked the corduroy, and I got fired for refusing to spit out my gum. I was miserable and hangry and I have no regrets.

  198. TanksTanksTanks*

    Not super bonkers, but I work remotely for a state government that is not the state I live in. This week, I attended a conference 50 miles from my house. I had planned to drive in every day, but the mileage reimbursement rules have some weirdness because my official worksite is 800 miles away from my house. So I stayed in a hotel, instead, many times the cost of my mileage.

  199. Tiny Clay Insects*

    I worked as a research assistant at a university part time, while also teaching as an adjunct part time at a different university and doing some other things to make ends meet. The research job was a 40% appointment, so, roughly 8 hours a week. After about a month of work the professor whose lab I was assisting in (an awful woman for lots of reasons, I had quickly found) explained to me that I needed to be working 40 hours a week, that the term 40% just meant I was in a less important job than hers, so I only got 40% of her salary, but still worked full time. Besides this obviously not being what a 40% appointment meant, I also made nowhere near 40% of her salary.

    The job did not last long.

  200. Lexie*

    I worked at a place that did classes and activities for kids. They had gymnastics, dance, parents night out, birthday parties, etc. The owner had a rule that if someone was coming to the door a staff had to jump up and open the door for them. She basically wanted us to drop what we were doing and run to the door. When classes or events ended someone was to stand there and hold the door open while everyone left. More than once I opened the door to let someone in only to have them step aside to let me pass because they thought I was leaving. Also the doors opened out and it was very awkward to be standing inside holding the door while people tried to squeeze past you, especially if they had a stroller with them. We couldn’t step outside to hold the door because another policy was that we were required to be barefoot while working.

  201. Ms. Murchison*

    I worked at a department store that had a break room up on the top floor, far away from where most of us worked. It took several minutes to walk there and we had 30 minutes for lunch. Your break was counted as starting the moment you left your department, even though you were still expected to help customers if they asked you questions while you were walking to the break room. We weren’t allowed to tell customers that we couldn’t help them because we were on a break. And somehow customers always knew you were an employee, even if you took off your name tag. So theoretically you could get up to the break room and only have 5-10 minutes to wolf down your lunch.
    And management looked at the time we clocked in and out in the break room and would hassle you if they saw you were clocked out for the full 30 minutes, i.e. if you were in the break room for a full lunch break instead of counting travel time across the store as part of your break.

  202. Zulema K*

    I work for a large educational institution. We were launching a new program where we invited alumni of our school to apply for roles as unpaid interns for a bit of work experience during their gap period before university. One of the benefits provided to employees was lunch on the work site as well as central transport to our remote sites on days we needed to work from the those sites. I gladly opened a role for an intern and made an offer to a strong former student. I then was told by our HR Manager that because this intern was not a full time employee, they absolutely were not to be provided with the benefits of the employee lunch or the central transport, and would need to bring their own lunch and find their own transport to our remote sites.

    I pulled rank in a way I’d never done before, cc’ing several higher-ups in an email explaining exactly what message this sends our former students about our workplace, to deny a benefit to unpaid interns who would rely on it the most, and to be noticeably excluded from our daily team lunch for an internship designed specifically to give former students greater connections in the working world.

    The HR manager then suddenly found the budget for this intern’s lunch and seat on the bus.

  203. Look User! Even the Shop is for Sale!*

    Well, the rue itself wasn’t ridiculous, but the boss didn’t follow it so it was basically useless: In a previous life i worked as a chef. One of the hotel kitchens I worked at hat the rule that staff wasn’t allowed to smoke in the kitchen, which makes total sense since it’s unhygienic and would get the hotel in big trouble when authorities find out. Well, the boss smoked too and did so in the kitchen. Yes the hotel kitchen. He had a small desk in there with an ashtray on it which was clearly used.

  204. Bleep Blorp*

    I worked at a large organic/healthy grocery store chain that had regular audits by an outside company to make sure food safe practices were being followed outside of health department inspections. When I started, we were told our drink cups had to have lids and straws. Plastic wrap rubber banded around the top of a soda can with the straw stuck through was not allowed which was understandable as it could get knocked over and spill. However, a Camelbak water bottle with a built in, pop-up straw mouthpiece with a tab used to pop the mouthpiece up was not allowed. I had bought it thinking it would be perfect and fit the criteria. When I asked why it didn’t meet the requirements, I was told it was because you could touch the mouthpiece. As if you couldn’t somehow touch the top of a straw?! Popping the mouthpiece up without using the tab designed for that very purpose was pretty much impossible. No one could give a good answer in response to that. It was one of many silly rules that when challenged made no sense but were “just the way it is.”

  205. Orchestral Musician*

    I work as a freelance musician with a number of orchestras. One of them recently got a new hall, a new name, and new branding, and with that, decided they needed to update some of their policies. The two most egregious rules are:

    1. You are not allowed to warm up on the concert music onstage before a concert. The music director compared it to being spoiled for a movie. Playing scales or something not included in the day’s concert is ok, but not running through the tricky parts you might actually need to look at!
    2. At the end of the concert, during the applause, musicians now need to high five each other. (This is extremely non-standard behavior, for the record!) The justification was “part of being a performer is that you need to act like you’re enjoying the performance and enjoy playing with each other.” Which is arguably true — but maybe doesn’t need to be expressed via a high five!

    1. iglwif*

      Holy moley.

      I have literally never been at a concert with instruments — either on the stage or off it — where someone wasn’t preluding tricky bits during the period before tuning up. Do … do they think people don’t know what music they’re coming to hear???

      And I’m not gonna lie, I would be very weirded out by seeing all the performers high-fiving each other during the applause. As a chorister standing behind the orchestra, I would have a hard time not laughing, and as an audience member I would just be flummoxed, like, were these guys all smoking up at intermission or … ?

      Also also I have Concerns about damage to expensive instruments during these shenanigans.

  206. Angelinha*

    I worked at a nonprofit where they rolled out an official policy that managers could not give references. They also had a policy that when hiring, managers MUST collect three references.

    1. Massive Dynamic*

      I worked somewhere with those policies too!! So bananas. When I left, I made sure to tell my team that I was no longer bound to that rule and would gladly be a reference for any of them.

  207. Allison Marie*

    I worked in a small office in my twenties where only the women were required to clean up the kitchen area and coffee urn…even though we did not make or partake in the disgusting coffee. I’d like to point out this was in the early 2000’s.

  208. ijustworkhere*

    I once worked as an assistant director for a nonprofit with a workaholic executive director. We were salaried exempt employees. I had an employee who had worked several Saturday events after working a full workweek, booking at least 50 hours each week. (we also had to keep time sheets).

    The following week she turned in a time card that had 39 hours He wanted me to make her use an hour of paid leave to make her time sheet hit 40 hours because “40 hours is a minimum.” I told him I would not do that, he was being petty and if he wanted her to use an hour of paid leave he could tell her himself.

    He droned on and on about how he worked harder than anyone else in the office (which he had done many times) I said, “and I thank you for reminding us of that frequently.”

    I realized the clock was now ticking on my job after that comment, so I found another one quickly. So glad I did. I love where I work now and we don’t have petty bosses like this one.

  209. Global Cat Herder*

    About 20 years ago, the company I worked at got a new head of IT who made a series of decisions that ended up in the stupidest most rigid policy ever, especially for an IT organization.

    Decision #1: Email is evil, people should talk face to face. We can no longer email work requests to other IT people, we can only use email to communicate outside of IT.
    … But IT is spread out through 3 different buildings, so email is how work gets done.

    Decision #2: Move everyone in IT into one building, which means putting 2 people into each (smaller) cube.
    … But even though people are making requests of each other in person, they don’t seem to be working on the right things. NewGuy’s pet projects aren’t getting done as fast as he wants.

    Decision #3: Since these managers can’t keep people working on the important stuff, they need to be replaced with NewGuy’s friends.
    … But we’re in a highly regulated industry, and none of the new managers have previous industry experience, so we spend a lot of time explaining regulatory requirements. So NewGuy’s pet projects still aren’t getting done as fast as he wants.

    Decision #4: People must be working on stuff for their friends instead of working on important stuff. If you want something from another department, you MUST ask your manager first (to make it’s something that needs to be done), who will ask the other manager (to make sure it should be done in their department), who will assign the person to do the thing.
    … And at this point pretty much everyone in IT committed their entire selves to malicious compliance. As an example …

    Every week I had to run the TPS Report, which required numbers I collected, and numbers that Jane collected, but Jane worked in a different department. Every week this is what this looked like:

    1. I announce “Backing Up!” so my cubemate could scoot her chair in and I could leave the cube.

    2. I walk from the southeast corner of the building to the southwest corner of the building to tell my boss I need the numbers for the TPS Report from Jane. Explain yet again that no, it is not possible to NOT do the TPS report, because the regulatory agency will literally padlock the door and put us out of business. No, we can’t do this weekly report next month after PetProject is done, because padlocks. No, we can’t just make up the numbers, that’s a felony, and people go to jail for that.

    3. Boss walks from the southwest corner of the building to the northwest corner of the building to Jane’s boss.

    4. Jane’s boss walks from the northwest corner of the building to the southwest corner of the building to hang over Jane’s cubicle wall with his coffee mug (!!) and ask Jane what this TPS thing is and whether we can just not do it. Jane explains yet again that no, it is not possible to NOT do the TPS report, because the regulatory agency will literally padlock the door and put us out of business. No, we can’t do this weekly report next month after PetProject is done, because padlocks. No, we can’t just make up the numbers, that’s a felony, and people go to jail for that.

    5. Jane’s boss tells Jane she should give me the TPS numbers, pats the top of the cube wall twice, and wanders away.

    6. Jane hits me in the arm with the file she already has ready. (Jane is my cubemate.)

    Now imagine all of IT committing to this level of malicious compliance in ALL the things. Dozens of interactions a day across departments, for each of 120 IT people. Hey boss, I need to install a database on a server, could you please ask Server Manager if I a lowly database admin am allowed to talk to a server admin? Hey boss, the company has a new hire, am I a lowly laptop person allowed to talk to the email department to get the email account set up on their new laptop? Hey boss, the interface between SystemA and SystemB doesn’t seem to be working, could I a lowly SystemA programmer talk to someone on SystemB about it?

    NewGuy lasted about 6 weeks after that.

    1. Bird names*

      I’m really sorry you had to deal with this nonsense but I am glad that this approach eventually payed of for all of you… and of course Jane was your cubemate *snortlaughs*

  210. Sam*

    This was the late 80/early 90’s at big accounting and management firm where we were mostly working at client sites:
    * No bringing lunch from home. Rumored to be a fireable offense.
    * We all wore suits; could not be seen with jacket off within 2 blocks of office
    * A couple times a month the staff would leave for Friday afternoon golf. But only the male members.
    * No red or bright nail polish
    * Business casual = no tie
    * Employees not allowed to frequent fast food restaurants at lunch.
    * We were not supposed to speak to consultants from another company that were on same floor for a different job. Not even “hello” in the elevator.

    Image was so important to these guys. It was crazy. Half our team was from out of town and had a per diem that included food. We went to lunch AS A GROUP of 14 pretty much every day and the travelers usually chose the restaurant. Nice restaurants. Local members of the team spent a fortune on lunch.

  211. cloudy*

    Ooh so one of my coworkers a while back told us about how her first job was answering the phone for a scam water filtration company (they faked water quality tests to sell filtration systems people didn’t need). It featured what is perhaps the most bizarre policy I’ve ever encountered:

    It was forbidden to say the word “week” during any team meeting or at all in the building. It always needed to be replaced with the word “strong”. So, for example, if you were presenting the sales charts for the week, you had to instead say the “sales charts for the strong” and so on… It meant the whole office used lingo like “sales are up this strong” and “what days are you working next strong.”

    1. NotHannah*

      that reminds me of a volunteer gig I did once for at-risk youth. We were instructed only to ever refer to these kids as at-promise. The way we torture language …

    2. Butterfly Counter*

      That is completely insane.

      It’s a homonym. It doesn’t mean the same thing. IT’S. A. HOMONYM.

        1. linger*

          You’re fine. Homonyms cover any case of same form, different meanings. Homophones are specifically soundalikes, homographs lookalikes.
          The opposite (different forms, same meaning) would be synonyms.

          1. linger*

            * Well, strictly, homonyms = same (written and/or spoken) form, different words … but defining a “word” is to open a large and squirmy can of worms. Native speakers don’t carry around in their heads the fact that e.g.
            cleave has two opposite meanings because it is a collision of two originally distinct Old English words (cleofan ‘join together’, cognate to glue, and clifian ‘split in two’, cognate to cliff) that became homonyms,
            whereas fast has two opposite meanings in context (cf. “stuck fast”, “run fast”) that derive from a single source, because it originally meant ‘strongly’, which when applied to verbs meaning ‘hold’ gave ‘immobile’, but when applied to verbs of motion gave ‘moving rapidly’.

  212. EttaPlaceInBolivia*

    I teach in a public school. Our district has announced several times in board meetings that teachers all read from a purchased curriculum and we have lost the art of teaching. I have never even had a textbook for any of the classes I teach, much less some sort of “purchased curriculum.” Also, the person complaining about our curriculum was the assistant superintendent…in charge of curriculum and instruction. Who bought the curriculum.

    Now we are all required to write daily lesson plans on a standardized template that doesn’t really work for anyone. Kindergarten teachers are writing their plans in the same format as high school AP teachers. And while most teachers teach the same thing all day long (6 sections of freshman English, for example), I teach 7 unique classes in 6 class periods. TL;DR: I am now required to write seven lesson plans for each day because the board is mad that there are teachers who read from a curriculum that our assistant superintendent chose and bought for them, all while my district refuses to even provide textbooks for my classes.

    1. linger*

      Condolences. At one former org, my department changed and semesterised its curriculum, but still had students registered under the old full-year one. I was assigned to teach 12 different course titles, so had to enter 36 course descriptions and lesson plans into the system.

  213. an infinite number of monkeys*

    My former employer had a policy where all mail to any employee was first opened by our division admin, then given to the employee’s direct supervisor.

    Overbearing, but didn’t really become an issue until I applied for a job in another division. HR sent a form “thank you for applying” letter to my home address on file, but there was a typo in the address so it got returned. So they just re-sent it to me at work – where it was opened by our division admin and then given to my boss. :/

  214. BeeKay*

    I once worked at a startup that was falling behind on its schedule, so the engineering manager announced that we would all work into the evenings, so they would be bringing in a catered dinner every day, AND taking attendance, like we were in middle school. I was not the only one who would eat dinner (sometimes very good!), be counted, and then immediately go home.

  215. Choggy*

    A woman who worked in our Corporate Communications department was told by her VP manager she was not allowed to bring a brightly colored handbag to work again. It was a Coach or Dooney Burke bag in a color other than black/brown/tan. Um, what?

  216. Nik*

    For the Leap year baby…March 1 (or 2 or 3) is the next working day after her birthday so she should get that off every year. Why is that so confusing?

    1. N C Kiddle*

      It’s not confusing to any sane and reasonable person, but the original letter writer is … how to put this … not one of those

  217. Megan*

    One summer between college semesters, I had a job as a counselor at a kids’ day camp. The camp would go on field trips once a week to various places, including a water park one time. The employer had really strict rules about ratios of staff to children for both on-site and off-site activities. This all makes sense for safety reasons, but what didn’t make sense was then applying this rule so strictly to the letter of the law that is actually made children less safe in some situations. We had like one staff member for 7 children on field trips and the rule was we had to take all of our kids with even if one had to use the bathroom or even if the staff member needed the bathroom rather than just having another staff member watch two groups for a few minutes while the other took a kid to the restrooms or went themselves. This was to the point that even at a pool, when I had to go to the restroom, I had to leave a group of young children unattended for a few minutes while I was in the stall. The camp was way too long for staff or kids to avoid using the bathroom all day. We also attended a MLB game for one field trip where the entire camp from multiple locations was all sitting together in one area. I had to take my entire group through a busy concourse just so one kid could use the bathroom instead of leaving them sitting in their seats near the other kids and staff members while I took the one kid that needed to pee. Same camp also would harp on us about these ratios all the time to the point of getting mad if we were momentarily out of compliance with them just because a staff member ran into a closet for a minute to grab equipment, yet they frequently under scheduled staff to the point we often did not have enough staff to stay in compliance with the required (lower) ratios for swim time. We were required to take the kids swimming daily even when it was cold outside and we were understaffed.

  218. focrlgog*

    Spouse worked at a company that not only had a “clean desk” policy, but also a “clean home directory” policy. Yep, someone actually checked out clean? organized? your home directory was.

  219. Pro Rata*

    Happened today – I’ve been with this company three months. Predecessors left nearly no documentation of processes, accounting history, etc. Finding previous month-end accounting files is nearly impossible, so new Accounting Manager (Me) goes out and creates monthly folders for reports, JE’s, etc. under the “Month-End” folder under Accounting on the network.

    IT pipes up a few hours ago they have to be moved. Seemingly, the Accounting Month-End folder isn’t to be used for Accounting Month-End records.

    So, the month-end Accounting files created since I started are now saved on my personal network space, thus making them unavailable to the rest of the Accounting Team. With luck, I’ll be able to find acceptable Accounting Department network space for them on Monday.

    And my doctor wonders why my hypertension is hard to manage :-)

  220. Apparently it was "so people wouldn't charge unapproved overtime during travel"*

    Pretty low-level in comparison to some of these, but still makes me pretty mad when I remember it…

    I used to work for a company that had fairly stringent time & attendance reporting policies, where each week we had to report the exact amount of time we spent down to the half-hour on each project with a note saying exactly what we were doing (nonprofit, but I’ve never had to report time to quite this level in any other nonprofits) . This company was in an industry where employees regularly traveled to project sites (relatively local, usually) and conferences (often across the country or overseas).

    Management announced with no warning that they had updated (well. they said “clarified”) our travel policies such that the only billable time during travel was when employees were actively on their laptops working.

    – on the airplane, in the air, not actively with your laptop out and working? Either take PTO or don’t get paid.
    – on the airplane, in the air, no wifi and no work you can do offline? Take PTO or don’t get paid.
    – get held up in airport security for hours? You didn’t have your laptop out, so take PTO or don’t get paid.
    -spent an hour rushing through the airport to make your connecting flight? too bad, take PTO or don’t get paid for that hour
    – in the Uber from the airport to your hotel? If you don’t get your laptop out in the backseat, you’re not billing that time, and they *will* be checking. However, if you personally are driving, you *can* bill that time, which is just icing on the cake.
    – conference proceedings don’t actually go all day so you spent the spare hour or two informally networking with people from other companies? That was valuable time you could have spent on your laptop.

    One employee said she got carsick/motion sick and was unable to work in cars or on airplanes unless the company wanted to replace her vomit-covered laptop afterward. She was not provided with a solution.

    I didn’t stick around for much longer after that (unrelated reasons) but I got the impression that everyone was going to lie on their timesheets as much as they could possibly get away with for the major conference in the Netherlands that was coming up.

  221. Covid Trauma*

    During covid, I was forbidden from speaking to anyone other than management face to face because my workplace had set “social distancing groups.” Some had 4 people, some had 8, some had 2 (you couldn’t speak to anyone outside of your group face to face unless they were a manager.)

    My group had 2 people and the other person resigned, so I was alone for months. My colleagues would constantly sneak into my office to talk to me and I would get in trouble for “allowing them in my space.”

    I’m a really social person and I love working on site, so it really destroyed my mental health.

    1. Covid Trauma*

      I just want to say, I know everyone had trauma around the loneliness of Covid. It was just very hard every morning to look across the office at everyone in their groups laughing and joking around together, whereas I had to come in and sit down and watch from afar. The only time I could speak to someone was for performance reviews and goal settings with management, who insisted it was for my best interest that I couldn’t be added to one of the other groups. My job also refused to allow us a work from home option.

  222. Dr Sarah*

    I once had a manager insist to all of us that we had to make sure all the different notes in a stack in the cash register were facing the same way.

    As far as I am aware no-one ever actually tried to implement this policy, ever, because it was so self-evidently bananas. But I still remember him ranting about it as part of a long lecture with many complaints which he was giving after closing time on a Saturday (it was a cinema, so closing time was something like 1 am), brandishing a couple of notes from his pocket as he exclaimed “You see! I’ve *always* made sure my money is faced! Even when I just keep notes in my pocket, I make sure it’s faced! Maybe it’s just because I’m strange!” while everyone just stared blankly and waited for him to be done.

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