my coworker is setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom

by Alison Green on October 3, 2024

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019.

A reader writes:

I work in a small office (about 20 people at this branch of our company) and we have two individual restrooms (as opposed to stalls) in our central hallway. There is certainly a smell situation because the hallway leads to all major sections of the office, but in general, people try to control this with air fresheners, PooPourri products, etc. Sometimes a book of matches is left there, which seems to help the most.

In the last few months, however, a coworker has begun to — from what we can best understand — light clumps of toilet paper on fire, throw the burning toilet paper into the toilet, and flush. Ashes often skitter down the hallway, like smoky tumbleweeds. The whole office begins to smell like a poop barbeque. This has begun happening at least twice a week, often more.

Now, I thought people understood that matches work to mask odor because of the sulfur released, not because of the fire. Clearly, this individual does not realize this. We all know who it is, because he’s one of the few smokers (i.e., carries around a lighter) and also has been seen walking away as the ashes go flying.

I have asked my boss (not this person’s direct boss) to speak to him, but he deflects and says we don’t actually have proof, and nothing wrong has technically happened yet. This person’s actual boss is the least confrontational person in our company, so I know he won’t do anything either. My boss said, “We’d have to email the whole company and ask them to stop lighting toilet paper on fire,” and I said, “That’s fine! It’s dangerous and disgusting! Explain the science of matches to them!” but my boss keeps deflecting.

Do I need to just let this go, or should I continue pushing my boss to do something? I’m seriously worried this person is going to accidentally set our building on fire from the bathroom out.

I am picturing your coworker striding out of the bathroom with smoke and ashes billowing around him as strobe lights flash and Metallica plays.

It is magnificent.

But only because I do not smell the poop barbecue.

I don’t see any reason you can’t just say something to this guy directly the next time you see him emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of ash. Like, it’s totally reasonable that you might comment on that! In some ways, it’s actually weirder not to say anything when you see that.

You could say, “Holy crap, did you light something on fire in there?” or “Whoa, are you okay? What’s with all this smoke and ash?” … followed by, after whatever weird response he gives you, “You’re not actually lighting anything on fire in there, are you? That would be dangerous. The matches aren’t intended to start fires, they’re just supposed to be lit and immediately blown out.”

Your boss’s reluctance to address this in any way is weird. You don’t need “proof” to say to someone, “Hey, are you setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom? Please don’t do that if so; it’s dangerous.” (And this wouldn’t be based on just a hunch; you have seen the ashes.)

In many offices, if you hadn’t already talked to your boss about this and explicitly been told that he doesn’t want something sent to the staff email list, you could have just sent that message yourself (assuming your office is small enough that it wouldn’t have been bizarre for it to come from you rather than an official facilities spokesperson or so forth). But now that your boss has vetoed it, that’s more complicated.

Really, though, if no one around you is willing to take this on, you can just say something to the guy yourself.

You may also like:
{ 127 comments }

{ 127 comments… read them below or add one }

  2. Ess Ess*

    Since it’s a branch of a company, there must be an HR at the main company. Since the boss won’t do anything and this is a definite safety issue, it is absolutely the time to call the headquarters/HR or if there’s a safety office and let them know that an employee keeps lighting fires in the building.

    Reply ↓
  3. I've Escaped Cubicle Land*

    I had just taken a drink of water before reading AskaMangers reply. Now I’m cleaning up water from all over my desk. That was awesome!!

    Reply ↓
  5. DramaQ*

    If you can’t beat them join them! Start blasting “Great balls of fire!” on speaker every time they come out of the bathroom.

    Reply ↓
    10. Larry, I'm on Duck Tales*

      Somebody must have done a Beavis mix including “TP for my bunghole” and “FIRE!” by now.

      Reply ↓
    2. Myrin*

      Yeah, OP chimed in in the comments that she was determined to say something next time it happened but we sadly never got an update afterwards.

      Reply ↓
  7. I wear my sunglasses at night*

    …it never occurred to anyone to just call the actual fire department the next time it happened???

    Wow, we really can’t blame COVID for every case of diminished brain capacity I guess especially since this was first published in 2019

    Reply ↓
    1. I should really pick a name*

      I don’t think the fire department would be impressed when they learned the reason for the call.

      Reply ↓
      1. 1-800-BrownCow*

        As the spouse of an EMS/FF, I concur, they would not be impressed.

        I can guarantee this based on my spouse’s recent reaction to the person who called for EMS to a local drug store because they couldn’t figure out how an off-the-shelf medical device worked and the store cashier didn’t know either. The call for EMS stated person was unconscious in the parking lot. They arrived and person was perfectly fine, just wanted someone to explain how to use the medical device. When the EMS crew asked the person if they had read the instructions that came with the device, the person said no, they had not, they just rather have someone else to show them how instead of reading the instructions themselves.

        Reply ↓
          1. Michelle Smith*

            There is, but you have to invest even more government resources to pursue those criminal charges and it’s not always worth the expenditure.

            Reply ↓
    2. Magpie*

      How would the fire department have helped? There wasn’t ever an active fire that needed to be extinguished, just a burning smell and some stray ashes. It would be a waste of the fire department’s time and resources to respond to a call like this and they would probably not be thrilled about it.

      Reply ↓
    3. Yadah*

      Why should they take the fire department’s time for a non-emergency situation?
      This would not be a valuable use of their limited resources, it would be like calling the police because your coworker takes home a half-full carton of cream from the communal kitchen every Tuesday.

      Reply ↓
      1. Mentally Spicy*

        In many areas and jurisdictions fire departments are not just an emergency service and they will happily advise on fire safety, whether that be checking all in-office fire fighting equipment is serviceable, checking buildings are compliant with the local fire code or even just educating people about fire safety.

        Fire departments would much rather advocate for and assist with fire safety than be called out to a burning building.

        Reply ↓
        1. 1-800-BrownCow*

          Yes, very good point. But very different from the suggestion made above to just call the FD when the individual does this. For assisting in fire safety training, FDs prefer to be scheduled ahead of time.

          Reply ↓
      2. NurseThis*

        I have two friends (married to each other) who call the fire department every time they get on the floor (not fallen) and can’t get up. I showed them some yoga moves that make it easy to get up but they still do this. I’d be pissed if I was a taxpayer in that area.

        Reply ↓
    4. 1-800-BrownCow*

      Please don’t!! It’s not the fire department’s responsibility to teach a lesson to this one individual.

      Meanwhile, a house catches fire but the fire department is too busy responding to false call to the company and by the time the neighboring fire department arrives, it’s too late.

      In some areas, making a false call to the fire department like this could lead to a fine.

      Speaking of cases of diminished brain capacity…

      Reply ↓
    5. StressedButOkay*

      That is one way to really irk the local fire department and to limit community resources in case of a real fire. Maybe an option would have been to get schedule them to do fire safety class (and make sure Mr. Poop BBQ attended), which many of them offer, but the solution isn’t calling 911.

      Reply ↓
    6. Goody*

      A call to the non-emergency line to possibly schedule a safety training or similar might be an idea, but calling 911 for ashes and poop-B-Q could border on false reporting.

      Reply ↓
    7. Starbuck*

      this would be a wild overreaction before even trying to talk to the guy himself about it, which it sounds like no one ever did.

      Reply ↓
  8. Jester*

    I thought I read AAM religiously, but I somehow missed this one when it was originally posted. I am both glad and distraught.

    Reply ↓
  9. RLC*

    This one would have landed very differently during the toilet paper shortages early in the pandemic mere months later.

    Reply ↓
    2. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      My friend sent me an article yesterday say that Sam’s Club is facing an errr, umm, run on toilet paper again because the hurricane hit states with factories.
      Here we, err umm, go again.

      Reply ↓
      1. cottagechick73*

        Someone posted on a local Reddit thread a picture of the bare TP shelves in Costco yesterday evening.

        Reply ↓
        1. WillowSunstar*

          Not only the hurricane, but the East Coast strike. I am dreading what the grocery store shelves will look like in a few weeks.

          Reply ↓
          1. RabbitRabbit*

            The vast majority of toilet paper for the US is made within the US (with only a couple of facilities in hurricane-affected regions and more outside of it) or in Mexico or Canada. Those aren’t shipped.

            Dockworker strikes will affect imports like bananas, electronics, and some car parts, among other import issues.

            Reply ↓
            1. WillowSunstar*

              Right, but the news sites are still reporting the start of TP panic buying due to the strike. Some people just do not think logically.

              Reply ↓
        3. Worldwalker*

          I was at the Augusta GA Costco an hour ago. I got one of the last packages of store brand TP from the last couple of pallets. (I’m not hoarding TP or something; I’m just almost out, routine restock) They had a bunch of Charmin left, but that won’t last long.

          Yes, hurricane-damaged area. Though I’ve got my power back, and occasionally Internet.

          Reply ↓
  10. mango chiffon*

    Am I the only one who would’ve looked at a box of matches in the bathroom with confusion? I have never heard of lighting matches as a way to stop smells.

    Reply ↓
    1. mango chiffon*

      That being said I would not light toilet paper on fire!!! But I would never have guessed it was for a smell thing. I probably would’ve assumed someone left it behind.

      Reply ↓
      1. Myrin*

        I would’ve had the same reaction. I know I read this letter when it originally came out so I must’ve learned of this technique back then but I’m certain I hadn’t heard of it before and must’ve promptly forgotten it again afterwards because it was news to me again right now, too.

        Reply ↓
    2. Juicebox Hero*

      Supposedly, the smell of the match is stronger and less offensive to the nose than the smell of #2, and doesn’t bother sensitive people the way scented air fresheners etc do. Personally, I’ve never used matches that way.

      In an office, it just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, mainly by not making sure the thing is completely out and setting the wastebasket on fire, or someone burning themself. Or some knucklehead lighting handfulls of TP on fire.

      Reply ↓
    3. Spicy Tuna*

      Air fresheners end up make the room smell like fecal matter mixed with flowers (or whatever scent the air freshener is). The sulfur in the matches just kind of takes the whole smell out entirely. They are very effective.

      Reply ↓
      1. ReallyBadPerson*

        We use them after scooping the cats’ litter box. They work really well to mask the residual poo odor.

        Reply ↓
        1. I went to school with only 1 Jennifer*

          I don’t think it’s masking! I think it’s doing something chemical, in addition to how the flame will burn any stray methane molecules.

          Reply ↓
      2. Bananapants*

        I was introduced to this trick by a roommate. It absolutely destroys the residual poo smell without being gross and flowery!

        Reply ↓
    4. Ama*

      I did not know for years that it was just the matches because my grandmothers both had a matchbox next to a candle in their bathrooms; I thought it was lighting the candle that did the trick, I didn’t realize the candle was just there to provide an outlet for the struck match.

      But I’ve never seen matches (or candles) in a workplace bathroom. Seems like too big of a liability risk.

      Reply ↓
      1. Mentally Spicy*

        It’s a huge liability risk. The only way to effectively control smells is by good ventilation. Making sure that the air in the room is ventilated to the outside. That’s really the only effective thing to do. Matches are a fire hazard and air fresheners just mask the smell, while also adding their own smell which many people (Hi!) find just as offensive.

        Reply ↓
      2. Arrietty*

        Allowing anyone to start fires or even light a match inside would be a violation of our office lease and the entire organisation would potentially be barred from the building, so I’m astonished the manager’s response wasn’t “Why are there matches in the bathrooms?!”

        Reply ↓
    5. Yadah*

      I knew what they were for but my first thought was that there are probably a few people in that office who have never heard of using matches for bathroom smells, most of them probably just defer to other scent-covering methods.

      It’s risky in an office to begin with because… fire, but it’s also not an intuitive method either, I think if they want to keep matches in the bathroom it should come with instructions and a special fire-safe/water filled disposal jar to avoid a trash fire.

      Reply ↓
      1. Edwina*

        yeah, you definitely don’t want people putting not burning but still hot matches in the trash. And you don’t want them in the toilet either. I run water from the sink over the used match before I throw it away. And yes, I have given this a lot of thought :)

        Reply ↓
        1. Anita Brake*

          I’ve used matches, for the sulfur, in the bathroom for odors for years…but I hadn’t heard that they shouldn’t be in the toilet. Do they cause clogs (I use the matchbook ones, not the wooden ones)?

          Reply ↓
    6. raktajino*

      I had heard of the matches thing and didn’t realize it was because of the sulfur. I had conflated it with the advice to cut onions near an open flame to burn off the compounds that make your eyes water (also sulfurous, coincidentally). In my head it was just “fire breaks up the gases.”

      (The open flame trick doesn’t work for me and onions either. Freezing and goggles/contacts are my go-to.)

      Reply ↓
      1. Forrest Gumption*

        I was told it’s not because of the sulfur, but because lighting a match uses a lot of the available oxygen in the room. So your match is literally consuming the poop-scented air and eliminating it. I’d love for a scientist on this forum to weigh in regarding whether this makes sense!

        Reply ↓
        1. LizardOfOz*

          It’s certainly not that the match consumes a lot of oxygen. If it were, smells wouldn’t be affected, because they’re caused by volatile compounds (aptly called aromatics) in the air unrelated to oxygen. Oxygen doesn’t really have a smell, though funnily ozone (which is just oxygen in a different formulation) does.

          Also, if matches were able to consume a lot of the oxygen in a room, lighting a match or two in a closed room would be very dangerous, because we need the oxygen for important stuff like breathing. That’s not to say that it doesn’t use up some oxygen, but not in large quantities.

          Reply ↓
        2. Worldwalker*

          Simple experiment: put a jar over a burner tealight candle and see how long it takes for the candle to go out. Now remember, that’s the volume of air inside a jar, not a whole bathroom!

          If a match could use up all the oxygen in a bathroom, the next person to come in would suffocate.

          Reply ↓
    7. H.Regalis*

      I didn’t hear about that for years but it does actually work. The way it was explained to me was that stuff in the fire is interacting with compounds in poopy smell. I use a lighter though. Also, it does not work on cat shit.

      Reply ↓
    8. WillowSunstar*

      I have done it a couple of times in my apt. because when mice die, they go down the drain. But I lit a scented candle, not just the match.

      Reply ↓
    9. Ineffable Bastard*

      It’s very common in Brazil and it works wonders. Light one, then almost immediately shake it to make it go out smoking. If, like me, you worry about safety more than needed, put them under tap water before disposing.

      Reply ↓
    10. Hroethvitnir*

      Matches are the only thing I would call remotely effective for mitigating the smell. I am not clear on the mechanism, but I’m a big fan.

      Incidentally, I feel strongly that the smell of a bowel movement alone is preferable to that + a cloying artificial scent.

      Reply ↓
  11. Successful Birthday Rememberer*

    I am disappointed that Poopeque / PPQ did not become a word after this. Also hoping for an update.

    Reply ↓
    1. FlyingAce*

      An update would be awesome! Alas, since it was 2019, I’m guessing it would be “pandemic hit, WFH, issue solved itself”.

      Reply ↓
      1. Juicebox Hero*

        I can’t help but wonder if Mr. Poopy Paper Pyro went on lighting the TP on fire at home. Although given the shortages, that would have been even dumber than doing it at the office.

        Reply ↓
  12. Our Lady of Shining Eels*

    Part of my job involves teaching teenagers How to Be Awesome People at Work.

    This is going into the “so for things you shouldn’t do at work” slideshow.

    Reply ↓
    1. 1-800-BrownCow*

      I feel like your slideshow could get reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy long if you made a list of all the dumb things people shouldn’t do at work.

      But for entertainment purposes, this definitely be included.

      Reply ↓
      1. Strive to Excel*

        It could be a wildly entertaining segway into appropriate treatment of shared facilities & bathroom etiquette.

        Reply ↓
  13. Spicy Tuna*

    This guy’s poops are lit!

    OP could put a sign in the bathroom instructing on proper usage of matches to mask odors

    Reply ↓
  14. toolegittoresign*

    Good lord, if the bathroom is so poorly ventilated that there’s that much of a smell issue — I would hope the company would foot the bill to put an air purifier in there.

    I would also put a battery operated smoke detector in there. The public embarrassment of the alarm going off would help stop the habit.

    Reply ↓
    2. Mentally Spicy*

      That was my thought when the original letter was posted. Ventilation is the only effective way to eliminate odours. I wonder where this office is located. In my country toilet facilities have to by law be ventilated to the outside with mechanical fans.

      Reply ↓
      1. Paint N Drip*

        I also wondered about the ventilation and whether the office might be afoul of building codes for that. My current office has a horrendous system where the bathrooms are vented into the elevator shaft, which I think covers ventilation but also introduces a lot of *public* information sharing! I actually don’t want to hear or smell EVERY bathroom on every floor, and that might make me a weirdo but so be it

        Reply ↓
  15. Fraggled*

    Poop Barbecue! An unfortunate addition to my vernacular now.

    I have a bit of a different but similar story. My old office’s toilet situation was almost identical except one was for men and one for women.

    The men’s bathroom had a closed toilet and 2 urinals (therefore not private) but the women’s bathroom was just a toilet for 1 person at a time.

    The men liked to shit in private (who doesn’t?) so they always used the women’s bathroom but kept clogging the toilet every damn week, sometimes multiple times a week. My subtle hints at getting enough fiber went unheeded.

    They couldn’t stop the men from using the women’s bathroom (which was fine, there were more men than women in the office) so they installed a commercial power flush toilet.

    The flush activation was also very sensitive so if you were still sitting when it went off your butthole got a sudden chilly blast as a bonus. That’ll wake you up after lunch.

    Reply ↓
    1. Starbuck*

      Dang, unless you’re the person who wrote in a letter about this – apparently this is a common problem because I totally remember reading a post here about this exact issue! But I don’t remember that one getting solved actually.

      Reply ↓
  18. Rainy*

    I realize that sometimes I let my intrusive thoughts win, but I think I would have made it like two times of Pooper McGee leaving the washroom in a swirl of stench and ashes before I blurted something like “Pooper, are you lighting something on fire in there??? Stop it!!!” loudly enough to wake the dead.

    Reply ↓
    1. Mentally Spicy*

      I am both on the autistic spectrum and middle-aged so my field of fucks is doubly barren. And I would absolutely HAVE to say something to this person.

      Reply ↓
    2. Juicebox Hero*

      Yep. My coworkers are a bunch of screwballs (as am I, to be fair) but a lot of these letters make us look as normal as tree stumps.

      Reply ↓
  22. learnedthehardway*

    My flabber is just ghasted at the unwillingness of the manager to do anything because “nothing has happened yet” – I mean, really! Someone is lighting fires in the bathroom, but we need to wait until what? Someone gets hurt? The fire spreads and consumes the building? before acting on a reasonably foreseeable dangerous situation.

    Quite aside from the utter ridiculousness of the Poopeque situation, which should be addressed as well.

    Reply ↓
    1. Strive to Excel*

      I agree! “Nothing has happened yet” be danged. There is a person *lighting poop on fire in the bathroom*. Shit is quite literally happening. The goal should be to *prevent* the completely predictable consequences of *lighting things on fire in an indoor space*.

      Reply ↓
  25. MsM*

    I like how the “related stories” feature is also so boggled by this that it’s recommending the original post.

    Reply ↓
  26. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

    We’d have to email the whole company and ask them to stop lighting toilet paper on fire,”

    That is absurd, a manager too conflict-averse to do his job – many posts have this aversion as the core problem for a manager or employee.
    He has reasonable grounds to call in the obvious suspect – who is blithely walking away leaving a cloud of poop ash behind – if he is doing this and to tell him to stop. Full stop.

    I’m not in the US, but I’m sure poop-burning is not a protected characteristic.

    Reply ↓
    1. Paint N Drip*

      It’s also a crazy response because… you could just do that!! A manager SHOULD address it directly with the single person responsible BUT can in fact email everyone and make a request about how employees act in the workspace
      (I am in the U.S. and it’s also my understanding that poop-smoke is not protected)

      Reply ↓
  28. H.Regalis*

    For LW’s boss claiming they can’t do anything without “proof,” to catch someone red-handed they’d more or less need to install a hidden camera in the bathroom, which is all kinds of Not Okay. “We need an eye witness” is such a ridiculous excuse for not handling this.

    Reply ↓
    1. NurseThis*

      Yeah and the “we’d have to send a memo out to everyone” is the worst of head in the sand management thinking. No you don’t have to wallpaper an organization with emails when it’s one guy. It’s sad that this still goes on.

      Reply ↓
  29. ReallyBadPerson*

    The boss’s response is a perfect example of how not to manage a difficult situation. If the person is known, he could just say, “Hey, many of your co-workers have noticed flaming toilet paper tumbleweeds following you out of the stall after you exit. You need to end that practice today.”

    We had a situation at my gym where someone was peeing in the sauna. At first, the teen lifeguards made a funny sign, but when the older adult head lifeguard learned who the pee-er was, he confronted him directly and the problem stopped.

    Reply ↓
  30. Worldwalker*

    I remember this one, and the immortal (and evocative) words “poop barbecue.”

    2019? Has it really been that long?

    Reply ↓
  32. sleepiest*

    Thank you so much for playing all the hits this week – it’s been a rough one over here and so the extra-WTF letters are very much appreciated!!!

    Reply ↓
  33. Pool Noodle Barnacle Pen0s*

    This entire company desperately needed a dual class in fire safety and restroom etiquette (courtesy flushes, y’all). I wish we could have gotten an update on this one.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Comment

Before you comment: Please be kind, stay on-topic, and follow the site's commenting rules.
You can report an ad, tech, or typo issue here.

Subscribe to all comments on this post by RSS