weekend open thread – January 11-12, 2025

by Alison Green on January 10, 2025

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand.

Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

Book recommendation of the week: Long Bright River, by Liz Moore. It’s SO GOOD! It’s the story of two sisters, close as children but estranged as adults. When one becomes a police officer while the other struggles with addiction. When the younger sister goes missing, the other tries to find her. I thought this would be a gritty police procedural, which isn’t normally my thing, but it’s a beautifully layered literary exploration of family bonds and addiction that will get you right in the gut. The best book I’ve read in months. (Amazon, Bookshop)

* I earn a commission if you use those links.

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{ 106 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    The weekend posts are for relatively light discussion — think office break room — and comments should ask questions and/or seek to discuss ideas. “Here’s what happened to me today” personal-blog-style posts will be removed (because they got out of control in the past). We also can’t do medical advice here.

    These threads are no politics.

    Please give the full rules a re-read.

    Reply ↓
    1. Falling Diphthong*

      The flying spaghetti monster is a real thing, the name given to a bathyphysa conifera. A carnivorous colonial creature that hangs out at great depth. (In a colonial organism a whole bunch of zooids are like “Hey, how about if we all hang out together and act like different parts of the same animal? Like Bob can be a tentacle.”)

      Reply ↓
    2. theinone*

      I’m in a very small organic chemistry lab this term (8 people per lab session, I think 48 students overall in the class) and I am inordinately happy to have my own drawer of glassware in the lab for the term. It’s MY glassware, it has MY name on the drawer, nobody else can contaminate it by not washing it properly!

      I also turned 20 today, so that’s exciting. I never have to be a teenager again!

      Reply ↓
    3. chocolate muffins*

      I had a lovely lunch with a friend, which was its own joy, but also I showed up early and was exploring the area a bit and discovered a new-to-me cupcake shop. Yum! They were very patient with me while I figured out a somewhat reasonable number of things to buy (unfortunately I decided against buying everything in the store, which was my first impulse) and I am excited to try all of these treats.

      Reply ↓
    5. Aphrodite*

      A half-hour ago I donated $100 to the Pasadena Humane Society for the 400+ cats, dogs, bunnies they are selflessly treating. It has made me feel so good after yesterday being one of the worst days of my entire life. Now I have done good. I love it.

      Reply ↓
      1. Six Feldspar*

        On behalf of Australia, I’m pouring you and everyone else impacted by the LA fires a very large virtual drink of your choice – “most bushfire-prone landscape” isn’t a club anyone wants to join…

        Reply ↓
    6. goddessoftransitory*

      I’m finally getting over this damn cold that I managed to catch for the new year. I also got my hair cut after over two months and no longer look like I’m auditioning for the tomboy girl who wants to join the softball team in a seventies kid’s movie.

      Reply ↓
    7. Falling Diphthong*

      On Globle, I always start by guessing Mali. Approximately twice a year I get the thrill of getting the correct country on the first guess, which I experience all out of proportion to any skill involved: I completed the pattern with maximum efficiency, and that hits some sort of feedback loop.

      Today was one of those days.

      Reply ↓
    8. fallingleavesofnovember*

      Got back into my end-of-the-work week routine of going to the pool tonight. We still have our Christmas tree up, so I followed up my swim with reading while drinking my favourite gluten-free beer with all the twinkly lights and that wonderful balsam fir smell!

      Reply ↓
    9. Jenesis*

      I discord voicecalled with an old friend and we rewatched Gladiator together (and made my husband sit through it as well) in preparation to see Gladiator II before it leaves theaters.

      I then went wikidiving and found some hilarious facts about the background of the production. Did you know that queer giraffes are actually a thing?

      Reply ↓
    10. velveteen rabbit*

      1. I successfully beat back a cold before it really got a foothold by taking to my bed like a Regency heroine for a full day. Alas that I was not able to do it at the seaside, but one cannot have everything.

      2. After completely forgetting about it for 2+ years I dug out the San Francisco Giants fleece and made a very warm and snuggly throw blanket for a dear friend’s birthday. It was my first time making anything in a very long time and it turned out so well!

      3. Lemon curd exists and when made with Kerrygold butter it’s extra luscious.

      Reply ↓
    11. CTT*

      It snowed the exact right amount! I’m in the southeast US and snow either (1) is gone after six hours or (2) disastrous. We got an amount that (fingers crossed) looked pretty and was great for snowmen today and will stop being a problem by Sunday.

      Reply ↓
    12. RagingADHD*

      We got several inches of snow this morning, which is pretty unusual here. My daughter made a snowman and dressed him up in a hat, scarf, buttons, the works.

      His name is Samuel.

      Reply ↓
    13. WoodswomanWrites*

      After a month and a half with a broken heater, my landlord got the back-ordered new one installed. While winter temperatures in the SF Bay Area aren’t subfreezing, it’s in the 40s at night and when it was cloudy or rainy my apartment never fully warmed up. No more sitting next to my space heater while the indoor temperature was in the 50s.

      Reply ↓
    14. Bike Walk Barb*

      Today it was realizing, at the end of the day around 8pm when I was sitting on the sofa feeling out of juice, that it’s Friday and not Thursday. Apparently I’d been feeling very Thursday-ish even though I’d done several Friday things.

      A long walk in the nearby wooded park a couple of days ago. So many shades and shapes and textures of green!

      Listening to Robin Wall Kimmerer read her essay about serviceberries from Emergence Magazine’s podcast, the piece that led to the book she later wrote.

      Reply ↓
  3. Employee of the Bearimy*

    I’ve come up empty everywhere else, so I might as well ask here: Where can I buy men’s sweatpants/joggers with an extra long inseam? My oldest kid has a 33″-34″ inseam and most sweatpants seem to top out around 31″ and I have no idea why. And he’s a men’s M so “big and tall” cuts don’t really work. Thanks!

    Reply ↓
    1. Falling Diphthong*

      REI women’s, which is where we got them for my tall thin husband. Women’s legs tend to be longer than mens, apparently.

      Reply ↓
    2. literary mathematician*

      Lululemon has a variety of inseams… for men, anywhere from 27-37, although options are limited on the higher end. My 6’4″ husband (tall but not super big) has been happy with the options.

      Reply ↓
    3. beetlecat*

      American Tall! This 6’ gal finally found pants with 35” (and even 37”!) inseams. They also have men’s clothing on the site too but I can’t speak to exact inseam lengths there.

      Reply ↓
    4. Not A Manager*

      Amazon has a bunch of hits for “extra long mens sweatpants.” I see a medium with choices of inseam from 30″ to 40″ in 2″ increments.

      Reply ↓
  4. Tradd*

    The California fires are a good reminder to have your important documents, photos, etc., backed up. Some people do physical copies spread out multiple places. I’m a digital gal. I use iCloud (Apple), Google Photos/Drive, and OneDrive (MS). I know some folks who don’t even backup the photos on their smartphone. When phone breaks, they’re in a bad way. So many people have a MS Office 365 subscription at home. You get 1TB (that’s a lot!) of storage space with the 365 subscription. The OneDrive app can easily back up your phones/documents on your phone, as well as on computer. The MS OneDrive/OneNotes for iOS are really nice. Redundancy is good, whatever your methods? How do you backup what’s important to you?

    Reply ↓
    1. Aphrodite*

      Paper, iCloud and two external hard drives for my Mac laptop. I don’t take photos with my basic phone so I have nothing on it that isn’t easily replaceable.

      Reply ↓
    2. goddessoftransitory*

      In a related topic–have at least some hard cash on hand for immediate needs. ATMs and the like often are not accessible during a disaster.

      Reply ↓
    3. WoodswomanWrites*

      I have two back-up systems in the cloud for my PC and another for my phone. I live alone so I also have a paper document with every imaginable bit of info–bank accounts, social security number, employer, family contacts, computer password, location of extra key, etc. I update it a couple times a year and give it to my friend in a nearby town in case there’s a fire or earthquake so it’s not destroyed.

      Reply ↓
    4. AcademiaNut*

      The classic rule for backups is 3-2-1. At least three copies of your data, in two different formats, at least one offsite (ideally geographically remote). That way if one of the backups fails, you’ve got a second option. The offsite means that in the case of a widespread natural disaster, or even something like a house fire or robbery, you don’t lose all your backups at once.

      Reply ↓
  5. chocolate muffins*

    What is a life lesson that you learned in 2024? How, if at all, are you wanting/hoping for that lesson to shape your upcoming year? I need to think more about my own answer to this question and would love to hear from all of you in the meantime!

    Reply ↓
    1. WellRed*

      I’ve learned to care less, particularly about these I can’t control, like certain work stuff but it applies in real life too. By caring less ( not about big things like the environment or society or whatever) I don’t ruminate or feel slights where none us intended.

      Reply ↓
    2. Falling Diphthong*

      Broad/societal: I can choose where I direct my attention. There is a lot of good around me, beauty, hope, people trying to improve one little local corner that is within their ability to affect: what if my view of the world was shaped by focusing on those things?

      Reply ↓
    3. Falling Diphthong*

      Personal: I need to get better at stepping back and looking at the big picture. Like if I’m having trouble doing X, is X a thing I even want to be doing?

      Reply ↓
    4. fallingleavesofnovember*

      I know it’s sort of cliche to say ‘to be kinder/ gentler with myself’ but I think 2024 was the year I finally started being able to do that, especially for a more extended period. I’ve been better able to accept that I can’t always do it all and it’s not a failure to sometimes take the easier path.

      Reply ↓
    5. EA*

      Being busy with fulfilling activities makes me more productive at work and a better parent. A big thing for me was realizing that not all “me time” is equal; while scrolling for hours might give me a break, it is way less helpful for my overall wellbeing that making time to do the exercise-related hobby that I’m passionate about. Prioritize and fight for those hobbies even if they seem expendable with so many other priorities.

      Reply ↓
    7. LemonDrops*

      I finally admitted that my elderly troubled parents are not the parents of my youth, nor are they the parents I want them to be now. I’m learning to let go of what I want them to be and I’m trying to find something good in them now so I can spend quality time with them and have less regret when they are gone.

      Reply ↓
  6. Nicosloanicota*

    Question for those who were single for a significant period of time as an adult, and later entered a long-term committed relationship: how do you feel now about that single time, when you look back? Maybe if you had to use a word to describe how you feel about it, what would word would you pick and why?

    Reply ↓
    1. Nicosloanicota*

      Context: I am someone who has mostly been single, trying to think about getting back out there, but change is hard and I’ve been comfortable the way things are, and worry I’ve gotten too set in my ways.

      Reply ↓
      1. Pickles*

        I’ve been living with my husband for 20 years and have two teens. I was mostly single until I was 30 and lived alone for several years. I miss it so much. I think about how peaceful my life was and my alone time everyday. I’m sure I will look back fondly on these busy times later. But I really miss my tidy, easy life.

        Reply ↓
    2. Begonia*

      I can’t pick one word. In some ways it was easier- I was responsible for fewer people, I could have lots of post-work activities. I lived a busy active life. I’m living a much less busy active life, logistics are more complicated (etc etc), but it’s also nice to have company, conversation etc. I try to grow where I’m planted, I guess.

      Reply ↓
    3. HannahS*

      Interesting question. I was single for about nine years before I started dating my husband. My word would “bittersweet.”

      I remember my single years pretty vividly–I’ve only been not-single for about six years. I was at times occupied with other things (work/education, health problems) and at times actively trying to find a partner and disappointed by the dating world. Throughout that when period, I was alone a lot. Not always lonely! But alone a lot.

      At one point, I remember having a firm conversation with myself about the need to grow as a person and enjoy myself and my life as a single person, knowing that it probably wouldn’t last forever, and that one day I would miss the positive things about being single. I’m glad I did, and my bittersweet feelings come from missing the freedom of owning my own time and energy and being the only person in my space. Though to be clear, I am happy with my choice to marry and have a child. But man, those weekends of doing what I wanted…

      Reply ↓
    4. RagingADHD*

      Productive.

      I didn’t always feel good about being single, but it was the result of a series of choices I knew were right for me at the time, and it turned out to be absolutely necessary for becoming the person I needed to be.

      Reply ↓
    5. SemiAnon*

      I look back on it fondly. I moved around for work, had interesting jobs, and an active social life. I’m happy with my married life, though, and don’t regret no longer being single. I do regret that by the time I met someone, got married, and tried to have kids it was too late. It was worth waiting for a right person, though.

      My husband and I both occasionally travel for work, so we each sometimes get a week of what we call bachelor life, which mostly involves idiosyncratic cooking. And when I was single, I lived with roommates, so going to living with a partner was a step up in comfort, and I wasn’t used to being able to control my entire space.

      If I had gotten married earlier, I certainly wouldn’t have ended up where I am now, as that involved career decisions and moves that would be hard to do with a family in tow, particularly a husband.

      Reply ↓
  7. Msd*

    I watch a lot of HGTV especially House Hunters. Is anyone else annoyed by how many of the people are looking for houses “right on the beach”. It’s like they don’t even consider hurricanes. A recent episode was a family buying a house on the beach where the town was pretty much destroyed by a recent hurricane (the 3rd one in 10 years). I don’t get it. Well, I kind of do because the places are fabulous but still…..

    Reply ↓
    1. Ginger Cat Lady*

      Not really something I consider worth being annoyed at. And you know those shows are fake, right? The one they “choose” is the one they owned all along. And beach houses are probably popular. May have chosen to do the show to help pay off hurricane repairs or something.

      Reply ↓
      1. Msd*

        I know it’s fake but still watch it. I also like how most episodes end with a scene of the family happily playing together in the back yard. Probably the only time they do. A friend of mine was always flabbergasted at how many people jump into the tub, make jokes about the man not getting any closet space and the overuse of “make it our own”

        Reply ↓
        1. LemonDrops*

          I got irritated of so many people complaining that house wasn’t livable when it really was! maybe it wasn’t to their taste or was outdated, but the plumbing and electricity worked, kitchen functioned, and there were no health hazards apparent

          Reply ↓
  8. Jazz and Manhattans*

    I have two questions but will post them separately even though they are related.

    I love to crochet and cross-stitch but my neck is causing me big issues and I developed some nerve issues after a project that I did a lot in a short amount of time. I heard that there are glasses you can wear that allow you to keep your head straight but can see down – prism or belay glasses?? I would love some recommendations from people who have used them in a craft setting. (I’m in the U.S. for purchasing/shipping purposes)

    Reply ↓
  9. Jazz and Manhattans*

    I’ve had an issue with my neck for some time that was exacerbated by a short-term intense craft project that kept me looking down. I’m seeing a physical therapist and she suggested a posture shirt. She can’t recommend a brand herself so I’m seeking recommendations from people who have used one to help their posture. Of particular interest is if the size is true to other shirts you have worn. (I’m in the U.S. for purchasing/shipping purposes)

    Reply ↓
    1. My Brain is Exploding*

      Interesting, I went to a workshop by my myofascial release therapist (who is an occupational therapist) and she DOES NOT LIKE THEM. She prefers exercises and and stretches to improve your posture. Posture shirts might be good for short term use but you need to train your muscles and a posture shirt does all the work so you don’t have to, and could eventually get weaker muscles.

      Reply ↓
        1. My Brain is Exploding*

          Apologies, what I answered is not what you asked. I figured there was a good reason but got interrupted in my reply…anyway, I hope you find a good one, I know that if you are a bra-wearing person there are posture bras!

          Reply ↓
  10. Falling Diphthong*

    What are you watching, and would you recommend it?

    Missing You on Netflix, 5 episode thriller that opens with a police detective in the missing persons unit matches on a dating app with the fiancé who ghosted her 10 years ago. Various cases old and new percolate up. Stars Louisa from Slow Horses. I liked that the coincidences and small mistakes happened early in the timeline–that it was what set off events and caused someone to look over here.

    Squid Game Season 1. It’s really interesting to me that the two big hits to come out of South Korea recently–this and Parasite–are scathing indictments of capitalism.

    Reply ↓
    1. Jenesis*

      My Adventures with Superman, on Amazon Prime. I give it a recommendation if you like old (’90s/early aughts) superhero cartoons. The animation definitely feels older/more choppy than it ought to in 2023 and the plots are fairly simplistic, but 5 episodes in the characters are growing on me enough that I’m looking forward to seeing what happens to them. Also love that there are SO MANY POC and they’re not stereotyped either!

      Reply ↓
    2. My Brain is Exploding*

      Football, and as usual I am disappointed with it. Although my D3 football team did win the national championship, that’s it. Also The Irrational is back and I love it and I CAN’T WAIT for All Creatures Great and Small!

      Reply ↓
    3. Six Feldspar*

      The first series of the Brother Cadfael mysteries with Derek Jacobi – definitely recommend if you like British detective series and/or historical dramas and/or spotting baby actors.

      I’ve picked up Elementary again from the library – I loved the first series when it was showing for the first time but got distracted from the rest over the years, and it’s great to watch again and remember how much I enjoyed it. Added bonus: Johnny Lee Miller appears in the Cadfael series as a very young actor.

      Reply ↓
    4. CTT*

      Finally watched Challengers and I liked it but did not love it. I look forward to its deserved Best Score Oscar win and am browsing camel-colored cashmere sweaters.

      Reply ↓
    5. goddessoftransitory*

      We’ve totally gotten into Bob’s Burgers! It’s amazing how long it’s been on. Love how the kids are so distinct: Louise is a chaos agent, Gene this cheerful sunsuit/hedonist, and Tina seems to be a rules following good girl but filled with lust and cold as a snake when occasion warrants.

      Reply ↓
        1. Bike Walk Barb*

          A cheerful sunsuit feels like something I could buy online, likely advertised in a pop-up ad for a nonexistent company. Thanks for the chuckle!

          Reply ↓
    6. ThatGirl*

      We just finished season 2 of Shrinking on Apple TV+ and it’s so good. It’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s honest. The cast is fantastic.

      Reply ↓
    7. Dark Macadamia*

      I decided to rewatch LOST and was surprised by how good the early seasons still are vs how bad it gets by the end. There are some early twists and reveals in season one and two that were still really fun to watch, but the last season was such a slog.

      Reply ↓
    8. Bike Walk Barb*

      The Equalizer with Queen Latifah in the lead role. We like things that fit into a genre we labeled “women who kick a$$” and she’s great in this. I especially appreciate that they pay attention to her role as mom and what her mysterious work is doing to her relationship with her daughter and Aunt Vi who lives with them.

      Also just rewatched Wakanda Forever (another one full of women kicking patooties) and cried yet again at the tribute to Chadwick Boseman.

      Reply ↓
    9. Nonny*

      We devoured Nobody Wants This (Netflix) which is hilarious and yet too close to home for some in the family. Cannot wait for season 2!

      I love Parasite and Squid Game, despised capitalism even more when I learned Hwang Dong-hyuk (Squid Game creator) made so little money on it.

      Reply ↓
  11. fallingleavesofnovember*

    Anyone done a European River cruise and have any tips? I (mid 30s) am planning to go with my (early 70s) Mum. I’ve travelled quite a bit, including in Europe, and so has she, but she is a lot less mobile than before. we are mostly looking at Danube River cruises. There are so many companies, my head is spinning!

    Reply ↓
    1. Aphrodite*

      You might want to check out “Tips for Travelers.” He is a constant cruiser, and he has done river cruises.

      Reply ↓
    2. Manders*

      My parents have done a number of Viking River Cruises, and my mid-30’s friend did one as well for her honeymoon. Both pairs really, really loved them. Lots to do, small ship, interesting cities, cultural info onboard, etc.

      Reply ↓
    3. Msd*

      I’ve taken several Viking river cruises. They are pretty good. One thing to be aware of is the problem with water levels. If it rains a lot in the soring then water levels are too high for the boats to go under bridges. If the summer is hot and dry then the water levels are too low for the boats to go at all. What happens is you’ll get bused from port to port and stay on a different boat each night. This isn’t just Viking it’s all the different companies. I’d recommend going in the fall when water levels tend to be “normal”. Viking has a minimum age of 18 for their cruises so there’s lots of folks your mom’s age.

      Reply ↓
      1. RedinSC*

        ^^ this. My MIL was on the Water Too Low cruise and it was really sad. They also missed a few stops they wanted to go to because of this.

        Reply ↓
    4. Kay*

      Think about how much time you want to spend in places. On a river cruise there often isn’t very much time to actually enjoy the places you are visiting, if that is important to you, and many of them travel at night so you don’t actually get to see the countryside. I would decide what you want to accomplish and plan from there.

      Reply ↓
  12. anontoday*

    Not looking for medical advice, just emotional support around a medical issue. I’ve had gynecological problems ever since I began menstruating, and recently they’ve become somewhat debilitating for me because they’re exacerbating another chronic illness I have. I went to my gynecologist on Thursday and asked about doing a hysterectomy and she said we could do that and recommended taking the uterus, cervix, tubes, and one ovary. She noted that if I want to have a child with my egg through surrogacy, we would need to leave both ovaries. I’ve known for a long time that I don’t ever want to carry a pregnancy, and honestly I hadn’t thought that I would want to use my eggs before this conversation. I think getting one ovary removed is still right for me as ovulation is the most painful and symptomatic part of the menstrual cycle for me, so I don’t think I could tolerate the process of egg retrieval anyway, and before this conversation I had always felt that having a child that is biologically related to me is not important for me. I’m queer and nonbinary, so the idea of birthing a child myself already felt unnecessary and kind of gave me the ick. But I was a bit taken aback when I walked out of the doctor’s office with the orders for a hysterectomy. As a childless 25-year-old, I thought I would have to fight for it more. It felt like pushing hard against a door and all of a sudden it opens and you fall over.

    I think having the surgery could only change my life for the better – it will potentially help with symptoms, and it effectively doesn’t change my family planning. But I think I felt better about not having children that are biologically mine when it was because of how I am choosing to build a family, whereas eliminating the possibility medically feels like there’s something broken about me.

    I also just want to note that I won’t have the surgery until this summer, so there’s plenty of time for me to think it over.

    Reply ↓
    1. Red Reader the Adulting Fairy*

      Does it help that you are still choosing to take this step (to eliminate the possibility medically) instead of other possible options? They won’t do the surgery unless you want them to, after all. It’s a more final choice than others, but it is still your choice.

      Reply ↓
    2. RagingADHD*

      Choices always feel different when we could change our minds anytime. It’s healthy to need a pause before making an irrevocable decision. You aren’t broken, but it’s a big step. You just need time to sit with it, and fortunately you have that.

      I hope everything works out great and you feel immensely better as a result.

      Reply ↓
    3. goddessoftransitory*

      The possible becoming the actual, even when it’s positive and something we want, is hard to absorb at first, especially when it’s an issue that’s been pretty fundamental to how we’ve lived for so long. I’m not at all surprised that it’s kind of a “wow….wow” moment.

      Reply ↓
    4. My Brain is Exploding*

      To have your choices removed from you is different than you making choices yourself! Most people would be upset about that. It makes sense to me. IDK but if you continue to feel broken (and I’m so sorry you feel that way), then maybe discuss that with a therapist. I hope everything works out for you.

      Reply ↓
    5. Pickles*

      It’s hard to close a door when you are young and you don’t know what could come your way in life (even if you never would have used that door).
      I’m glad your doctor listened to you. Hugs and I hope the surgery helps. I also had a chronic condition from my period and hormones in general. Everyone complains about menopause but I love it! My life is better than ever.

      Reply ↓
  13. Six Feldspar*

    What are we cooking lately?

    I made the Poor Man’s Icecream from Dylan B Hollis last week and it’s delicious but I’m glad I cut down the sugar.

    Reply ↓
    2. goddessoftransitory*

      This week it was creamy chicken chili and spaghetti! Oldies but goodies. Husband is supposed to be making cookies today while I’m at work.

      Reply ↓
    3. Anono-me*

      I made crockpot rice pudding last weekend. Turned out well and I am liking warm comfort food in this cold weather.
      I’m going to try the broiled cabbage slices this weekend. I have a couple of pintrest recipes to choose from, but if anyone has a favorite or some advice, I would welcome it.

      Reply ↓
    5. Elizabeth West*

      I haven’t felt up to it since cooking myself a big Christmas dinner, but it’s been pretty cold lately so I’m thinking of making some tomato soup on Sunday.

      Reply ↓
    6. Bike Walk Barb*

      A vegan version of Helen Rosner’s Roberto soup that I froze in Souper cubes. I purchased those thanks to someone recommending them here and yes they’re awesome for freezer storage! The funny moment was going to the freezer with part of this big batch of soup and realizing I *already* had a batch of frozen Roberto, neatly hidden away because the frozen cubes don’t take up nearly as much room as my stacks of things frozen in various glass containers that remind me they’re there. Feeling truly souper these days.

      Reply ↓
  14. Forensic13*

    Can anyone recommend any shorter nonfiction articles/videos that are about somebody investigating a seemingly trivial piece of information, mostly for the joy of figuring things out?

    Things along the lines of Reply All’s “The Case of the Missing Hit,” hhbomberguy’s look at the Roblox “Oof” noise (though hopefully shorter,) etc.

    Thanks!

    Reply ↓
  17. Esprit de l'escalier*

    I have a question about my neti pot. It’s a NasoPure (a plastic tube with a spout), and I was fairly regular about using it until the spout stopped working properly after years of use. I dithered about what to get to replace it and finally ordered another NasoPure container, but there was a gap of a few months with no neti pot. Now, I experience a very unpleasant burning sensation in my nostril when I squirt the saline solution in, which was not a problem previously. Any suggestions for ameliorating this?

    Reply ↓
    1. Shiny Penny*

      For me the burning has always been caused by the salt being wrong— both too much salt, and too little. Could it be that for you?

      Reply ↓
  18. Jackalope*

    Reading thread! Share what you’re reading, and give or request recs.

    I just finished a book I learned about from this thread: The Teller of Small Fortunes by Iulie Leong. It was a delightful cozy fantasy read and I loved it. I wish I could go back and start it over again for the first time.

    Reply ↓
    1. Dark Macadamia*

      I just finished The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane for book club. It was fine. Parts of the story were really compelling and it was a great way to learn about a culture I’d never even heard of before, but it also feels like one of those historical fictions where the author doesn’t want any of their research to go to waste so they just info dump whether it helps the story or not. It was also themed around the idea of coincidences and while some of them made a lot of sense and added to the story, it got pretty eye-rolly by the end.

      Reply ↓
    2. Me And I*

      I also just finished The Teller of Small Fortunes! I adored the first half but felt the back half was a little rushed and too tidy. Still really enjoyed it.

      Also recently finished The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst – another nice comforting read.

      Reply ↓
  19. Be the Change*

    I have a dilemma. I am intensely introverted. My husband is quite extroverted and wants all the time and attention, he talks *a lot* and loves attention and active company. In the past I was happy to have a little time apart when he or I would travel or something!

    But now with everything going on in the world (gestures sadly around), I cannot stand to be apart. I canceled a conference talk this weekend because I didn’t want to leave him (admittedly we are rather near to the LA fires, too).

    Two mutually exclusive needs. How to balance?

    Reply ↓
    1. Double A*

      I actually don’t understand what needs are conflicting here. It sounds like he’s happy to have attention all the time? And you want to be around him all the time? Is it that he wants to also be around other people and you don’t?

      Reply ↓
  20. Jackalope*

    Gaming thread! Share what you’ve been playing, and give or request recs. As always, all games are welcome, not just video games.

    Also, a question for you: are there any stock game motifs or rules or whatever that you personally really enjoy or dislike? For example, I don’t like the one person in charge of making a popularity vote which is what Apples to Apples feels like, and many other similarly styled games. But I do enjoy games like Pandemic where you’re racing against the clock with your fellow gamers to achieve a goal. Or in video games, I really enjoy the characterization of the characters in RPGs, but am less fond of games that don’t let you grind a bit and force you to be clever instead. Things like that.

    This week I spent a lot of time playing Fell Seal: Arbiter’s Mark. It’s a fun game in the style of Final Fantasy Tactics, and I’m enjoying working my way through it.

    Reply ↓
    1. Amber Rose*

      I developed an obsession with My Time at Sandrock and have not been able to stop.

      I haven’t got the ability to focus on more intensive games these days, and although I enjoyed Metaphor Refantazio I ultimately didn’t finish it, so I’ve been focusing on cozy games. Once I manage to let go of Sandrock I plan to start Potion Permit.

      Reply ↓
  21. Esprit de l'escalier*

    I have finally used up my stash of No. 10 self-sealing security envelopes (for my personal use at home). I bought a box of Mead envelopes via amazon but I don’t like them at all. Compared to my old envelopes, the paper is very thin and lightweight, and they feel awfully cheap and flimsy. I’m kind of a stationery nerd and I want more substantial No. 10s than these Mead envelopes, but I can’t confidently evaluate what’s available online.

    Can anyone recommend a good-quality brand of these envelopes or a more specialized source that would carry better quality envelopes? I am not hunting for the lowest possible price since a box of 100 will last for years. (They don’t seem to come in fewer than 100.)

    Reply ↓
  22. WoodswomanWrites*

    For all affected by the Los Angeles fires, whether personally or supporting loved ones, I don’t have any magic words but this internet stranger is thinking of you.

    Reply ↓

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