my team member won’t stop talking about their Keto diet

by Alison Green on November 18, 2024

A reader writes:

I manage an employee, Casey, who has developed a passion for a Keto, fasting, and all things carnivore lifestyle. It is great that they have found a lifestyle that they love, but they are a bit overly passionate and it is a little overwhelming in our office.

What makes it difficult is that Casey will pull everyone into conversations about it, and makes lots of vocal statements when anyone brings anything they don’t eat into the office. As an example, with any new person we hire, on day one Casey will start telling them about their Keto lifestyle and asking them if they are interested in supplements or if they want to hear about eating Keto. There isn’t a day that goes by that they aren’t starting new conversations with people.

These are examples of statements that are 99% of the time unsolicited:

• “Have you seen these new chomps that are high-fructose-corn-syrup-free?”
• “I don’t eat sugar anymore, but when I did those used to make me feel terrible.”
• “I have supplements that will help you manage past your cravings if you want some.”
• “I’m a carnivore so I won’t eat those but if you get me bacon I’ll eat that.”
• “I’ll bring Keto waffles to the pot luck” – then drones on and on about the ingredients and how great they are.
• “I have a great recipe from a Keto workshop I attended….”
• “You won’t even need caffeine once you’ve been fasting.”
• “I have some great books on Keto lifestyle.”
• “I went to the butcher last night and got amazing deals on all the meat I’ll need for this week.”
• “I’m going to go snack on my amazing Keto-bread.”

The issue I have is not everyone wants to hear about it AND it is really distracting from workplace activities. I sense people try to avoid walking by Casey’s office to prevent unwanted conversations about it.

How do I politely let Casey know that their personal passions need to be saved for time/space outside of the workplace? Advice on how to kindly and supportively ask for this to be toned way down?

If Casey were this obsessed with evangelizing for something unrelated to diet and health — like, I don’t know, the Dallas Cowboys or Daylight Savings — it could still reach a point where you’d need to rein it in, but it being about diet and health gives it an extra layer of obnoxiousness and adds additional urgency for you to tell them to cut it out.

Constant Daylight Savings evangelism would be annoying too (as well as pretty weird) but at least it wouldn’t involve judging other people’s diets and pushing unsolicited health advice. It would be irritating and boring, but it wouldn’t cross boundaries in the same way.

To be clear, some of Casey’s comments are okay. Saying “I got fantastic deals from my butcher” or “I’m going to go snack on my amazing Keto-bread” may get tiresome, but people are allowed to be a little tiresome, within reason. On the other hand, comments on what other people are eating and unsolicited diet advice do cross a line, and that’s where you should focus.

So: “Casey, I understand you’ve found a diet that you’re passionate about, but I need you to rein in how much you talk about it at work. Diet and health are personal topics, and you cannot critique other people’s food choices or offer unsolicited diet advice. A lot of people find that unwelcome and intrusive, and I can see it affecting your relationships with other members of the team. If someone approaches you privately and asks for your input, you’re of course free to provide it, but the team needs to be able to work without so much unsolicited commentary on food choices.”

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          2. one of the annas*

            Hahah, I literally had a blank moment and was like, oh no, is there something problematic with the Merlin app?! (I hope with enough time I won’t even remember any other ‘bird app’)

            Reply ↓
            1. BirdNerd*

              Yes whenever I hear about “the bird app”, I’m like, I had no idea there was so much drama on eBird until I remember that one app exists. The birding brainrot is real

              Reply ↓
          1. AnonToday*

            I’m not who you were responding to but in my experience, yes. I have a former coworker that had a super broad variety of interests (roleplaying, outdoorsmanship, art, travel) but once they found running/marathon training they only ever talked about that, excessively. That isn’t the only person I’ve known who has marathons as a central piece of their life and wants everyone to get involved (I used to be like that about my pets but am much better now so I’m not judging them, but it certainly seems to be A Thing).

            Reply ↓
            1. Jinni*

              The woman in the office next door. It’s how I learned about L.A. Leggers. Qualifying races. Age brackets. Etc.
              I could write a book on it.

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          2. caryatid*

            One of my favorite jokes:

            How do you know if someone’s run a marathon? (Substitute “run a marathon” with “CrossFit” “vegan” etc)

            Don’t worry, they’ll tell you

            Reply ↓
            1. The Prettiest Curse*

              Ditto wild swimmers, so I’ve heard. I kind of admire wild swimmers, though – it takes some dedication with the current level of pollution issues we have in the UK’s lakes and rivers.

              Reply ↓
            2. Sillysaurus*

              I hear this, but it’s honestly tough not to talk about it when everyone asks you what you’re doing this weekend and the answer is always running a ton of miles. It gets much worse when you’re training for an ultra, though since those are on trails you at least get to tell people about the cool mountains you were running on over the weekend.

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          3. darsynia*

            They sure can be, and the funniest thing about it to me is that my husband is big into the gaming community for the Bungie game Marathon, and is a member of the discord channel about it, which is public. Every so often someone joins and starts talking about running (the original Marathon is a first person shooter from the 90s), and they take turns gently breaking the truth/trolling the person depending on how sanctimonious they were.

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      2. Nina*

        I’m in a bit of a cleft stick here because I do use Linux, but it’s to keep a 12-year-old laptop functional rather than because I inherently prefer it, so I feel somewhat obliged to defend Linux users here, while also having been made to feel very much not one of them.

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          1. Alan*

            Yeah, I’ve used Linux for many years and it’s great for what it does, but I’ve never understood the almost-rabid support for it from some people. The claim that it’s a better desktop environment than Windows in particular seems absurd to me.

            Reply ↓
            1. AF Vet*

              Ehh… they have to differentiate from the Apple needs somehow while still being able to mock the plebs using Windows. :)

              Reply ↓
        2. Alan*

          I remember I used to keep an old (486) laptop in my desk, a laptop so old that it wouldn’t run Windows, but it would run Linux like a champ.

          Reply ↓
        3. JHunz*

          Like all choices that can be made for both idealogical reasons and prosaic or pragmatic reasons, the people who choose based on idealogy tend to be more vocal about it.

          Reply ↓
        4. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

          The only disagreement me and my husband have ever had is over operating systems. Both of us work in IT.

          After 20 years of marriage though we just accept that every computer in the house has a different OS for different reasons. Although that does lead to the ‘I can ping it but I’ve forgotten where in the house it actually IS’ discussion..

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    2. JFC*

      My thoughts exactly! I still shudder when I think about how obsessed everyone was with CrossFit at OldJob and insisted on talking about it ALL. THE. TIME.

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    3. Artemesia*

      my keto obsessed friend is also into other obsessive food choices — ivermectin anybody? He got into tumeric as a cure all and ended up in the hospital with kidney damage as result. Turns out lots of good things are not so good in excess.

      Here he is making people uncomfortable about their diets and their bodies; this needs to be shut down asap.

      Reply ↓
      1. Ellis Bell*

        I’ve had a number of specialised diets in my life, as I’ve tried to get to grips with certain things, and some of them were amazing for me. The problem is when they’re presented to the masses as The One True Way, and as in your friend’s case, when it’s just the snake oil hour.

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    4. Putting the Dys in Dysfunction*

      If I were one of his coworkers I’d have a real beef with Casey — or a bone to pick, I’m not sure.

      Reply ↓
    1. Elizabeth West*

      I had the same thought. Even if she’s not, it’s coming off the same way, and it’s past enthusiastic and into obnoxious.

      Reply ↓
      1. Unkempt Flatware*

        I actually think this could be a way to communicate that this needs to stop. “Are you selling this stuff, Casey? You’re starting to sound like an infomercial.”

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          1. Bilateralrope*

            Now all the talk about keto has shifted from being annoying to operating another business on company property. Maybe even while on the clock.

            Hopefully the employer has rules about that.

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        4. bamcheeks*

          This would be a reasonable suggestion if the problem was “my co-worker keeps going on about…” But LW is a manager. They don’t need clever comebacks or ways to drop a hint: that’s actively a bad way to manage. They can and should tell Casey to stop.

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    4. Three Flowers*

      Yes, and the “keto lifestyle”, like MLM essential oils, is faddish crap. (Keto diets are a medical intervention that can be extremely effective and also very dangerous if not supervised medically. This keto bull is just low-carb on steroids, and misleading.)

      Reply ↓
      1. Guacamole Bob*

        Didn’t it start as a medical diet for some severe forms of epilepsy that weren’t responding to drugs? If it works for those patients, then that’s great news! But that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy diet for everyone that will make everyone feel great, and it’s a pretty unpleasant way to eat if you’re strict about it.

        Reply ↓
        1. CowWhisperer*

          I think it also was the original diabetes diet prior to injectable insulin. It worked to help diabetics survive longer and with fewer bad outcomes – but insulin works a lot better.

          Reply ↓
          1. darsynia*

            The only ‘bad’ part about Maintenance Phase is the scope of the podcast! I’d listen to them talk about anything.

            Reply ↓
        3. Three Flowers*

          Yes. And doing it right to induce and maintain ketoacidosis safely is super complicated and not at all like the “keto” incarnation of low-carb dieting.

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      2. Anon for this one!*

        My dr. recommended it to help me manage my fatigue, anxiety, depression, and weight gain the last few months. Sort of a low carb/keto combo. It’s not exactly a super awesome fun way to eat… but it’s vaugly do-able as long as I allow myself a lot of grace and some mini m & ms. I find that all the specificly “keto” branded products are gross.

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    7. LaurCha*

      This was my thought based on the “I have supplements….” comment. Trying to sell your MLM garbage at work is a HUGE no from me.

      Reply ↓
    8. Middle Aged Lady*

      I thought the same thing. The talk is bad enough, but offering supplements crosses a line: even if they aren’t selling them.

      Reply ↓
  3. Justme, The OG*

    It would take one time form her to recommend supplements to me before I lost it. Just saying. She needs to stop.

    Reply ↓
    1. Antilles*

      Seriously. The overly passionate discussions are annoying but at least in a commonplace way, but actively offering supplements feels like it’s an added layer of over the top.

      Reply ↓
    2. Nonanon*

      The only response to people selling supplements is “Oh, no, I get enough nutrients from the food I eat. Do you not get that with (diet type)?”
      (Reader, I do in fact need a multivitamin and vit d supplement, but they shouldn’t be telling me what I should and shouldn’t do)

      Reply ↓
    3. cindylouwho*

      Literally same. As someone who has had a bit of a weird relationship with food in the past (but is mostly fine now), I would be so incredibly frustrated by this. And I am not sure how I would react.

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  4. English Rose*

    And this constant harping on about food and eating is likely to land really badly with anyone who has a current or past eating disorder, it could be actively damaging. OP definitely needs to shut it down.

    Reply ↓
    1. Ostrich Herder*

      This is exactly what I was thinking. Talking about food and diet that much might just be passion on Casey’s part, but for folks with eating disorders, it mirrors the 24/7 obsession with what you ate, what you’ll eat next, when you’ll have it, where you got it, how you’re preparing it, whether it’s “good” food or “bad” food, whether you’re “allowed” to eat, etc. Constantly hearing about a restrictive diet where some foods are “bad” and a tightly-controlled eating schedule would have been debilitating for me when my ED was active or even in the first few years of recovery.

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    2. Busy Middle Manager*

      I’m seeing this sentiment in a bunch of comments but don’t see how that’s specific to this letter or keto. I don’t think this is the route to take with Casey since it’s not specific to them so it won’t mentally register to them. In fact, I would argue that most regular holiday seasons would be way more triggering than someone saying they eat keto/don’t eat sugar. The holiday are already two months of dodging endless cakes, cookies, candy, alcohol, leftover piles of meat, more candy, people trying to dump their excess candy on you, etc.

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      1. Elle*

        Because for someone who is trying not to unhealthily restrict their food intake, constantly hearing someone frame their own extreme diet as healthy for everyone and others’ diets as unhealthy could really screw things up. We’re talking about people whose food issues are “I’ve struggled with healthy attitudes about food/getting appropriate nutrition” not “It’s so hard for me to say no to Christmas cookies”

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      2. peter b*

        I mean, it doesn’t change the advice but sharing this concern emphasizes why it’s important to address specifically because it’s unsolicited diet talk. Alison’s script is really great for how to handle it. Also, it varies – holidays may be broadly challenging, but someone telling me specifically to fast or judging my food choices would be not just painful but triggering, especially if I was already struggling during the holidays. Speaking from experience.

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      3. Ally McBeal*

        Keto and other restrictive diets often act as a cover for eating disorders, and people who are in remission from an ED don’t need to be triggered by a coworker constantly rules-lawyering about their own diet.

        Reply ↓
        1. Let’s make a deal*

          “Keto and other restrictive diets often act as a cover for eating disorders“

          I follow a ketogenic diet. How about in exchange for my not obnoxiously evangelizing it like the guy in OP’s office, you not start making unwarranted allegations about people who follow ketogenic diets?

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          1. Ellis Bell*

            I think you’ve misunderstood that comment as being specific to keto though. There are many diets which are annexed as cover ups for people who have ED, and yes, keto is one of them. The same can be said of my diet. I follow a gluten free diet because I’m allergic to gluten, and it really annoys me when people think I’m making it up, or that the reasons for doing so are in my imagination. However, it’s really obvious to me when someone is “gluten free” for reasons more to do with emotional food issues. Evangelising the diet is a pretty big red flag of other stuff going on beyond “I like this diet and it suits my body”, but not always, obviously.

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          2. Sillysaurus*

            Restrictive diets do often act as a cover for eating disorders. Often, but definitely not always! If it doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply to you.

            But it’s important to know that this can happen, because people can be very sick with an eating disorder and fool those around them by claiming they are following a specific diet for health reasons. A lot of people take stuff like that at face value, and might not catch on that someone is dangerously ill until it’s gotten very out of hand.

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      4. Observer*

        I’m seeing this sentiment in a bunch of comments but don’t see how that’s specific to this letter or keto.

        That’s kind of the point. The LW needs to address this as an issue in general, not about keto.

        Casey could have the *PERFECT* diet, with a bazillion gold plated studies to back it up, and it would *still* totally inappropriate to go on and on and ON . . . the way they are.

        I would argue that most regular holiday seasons would be way more triggering than someone saying they eat keto/don’t eat sugar.

        This is not relevant. The LW did not write in because Caset sometimes says things like “I don’t eat sugar” or the like. They wrote in because Casey just will. not. let. go. They keep on badgering people and making judgemental comments to people about what those people are eating. That’s a whole different level.

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      5. MigraineMonth*

        Hmm, you’re framing the presence of unhealthy food (endless cakes, cookies, candy, alcohol, leftover piles of meat, more candy) and people talking about extremely restrictive diets as both being triggering for eating disorders.

        Could someone with more knowledge about eating disorders address this? Is the presence of demonized foods (e.g. cakes, cookies, candy) as triggering as diet talk (including judging food as good/bad, restrictive diets, and policing others’ foods)? Does this change at different points in the recovery?

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        1. Ellis Bell*

          I don’t have an ED, but whenever I’ve been trained on supporting people with them (I teach teenagers), we are always told to keep in mind that the different types of eating disorder manifest very differently to each other, (you can have eating disorders which avoid food too strictly, and eating disorders which binge on foods for example) and triggers are very individual to each person. Perfectionism of one’s diet, and shaming the food choices of others are never going to be great, though. While it’s not great to have piles of food everywhere, or to push food on people unthinkingly, you’re not going to be able to eliminate food entirely from people’s work environment in the same way that you can (pretty easily) avoid food-shaming and food-judgement.

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        2. Middle Aged Lady*

          Yes! I have an unhealthy relationship with sweets and all the cookies, pies, cake, chocolate and candy dishes are so tempting to me that I have gained unhealthy amounts of weight whenever I work in an office that has that food openly available and touted as a treat for our hard work.

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    3. LaurCha*

      Yup. This. It would for sure send me into orbit the second time she started talking about what I eat. She gets one intrusive comment, and then I tell her to put a sock in it, and that’s it. No three strikes.

      Reply ↓
    4. Grumpy Elder Millennial*

      100%.
      I mean, I don’t even have an ED history, but I’d be super weirded out about all of this. And would probably assume – rightly or wrongly – that this person was judging my body in addition to my food choices. Definitely not a recipe for a warm relationship with that colleague. (Pun aggressively intended).

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    5. AF Vet*

      That was my first thought, too. I have my own minor trauma around food and body issues thanks to simply being a teen in the 90s. I don’t need that crap triggered by any Betsy Bop Around trying to shill an MLM.

      Reply ↓
  5. I wish I could snooze life*

    I think that’s an important point to make. It’s okay to talk about something you’re passionate about, (whether it be food, sports, religion, and relationships) but you should not give criticism or unsolicited advice, especially on sensitive topics.

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    1. Presea*

      I’d probably honestly really enjoy talking recipes with them as long as they could respect that I don’t actually do the full blown keto diet thing, but I would be very skeptical that they would in fact respect that. So they’re likely even alienating people who share a passion for keto/recipes/cheese/whatever else.

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      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        Yes, there are people who have an academic interest in different diets, people who like to talk food, people who like to talk recipes and even people who like to talk health. Being a one trick pony is alienating everyone equally.

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      2. Alexander Graham Yell*

        Yep. I have a friend that got me interested in vegan cooking and while he knows I’m not vegan, he’s great about making recommendations based on our previous conversations about foods he knows I like. If I felt somebody like Casey could do that – respect that I just like good recipes – then cool, send me all the interesting recipes you find! But once you hit this level of evangelism in just about any hobby or interest I’m probably going to walk the other way when I see you coming.

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      3. Guacamole Bob*

        Yeah, my son has type 1 diabetes and celiac disease. A lot of gluten free baked goods are super high carb with high glycemic index and really spike his blood sugar, so some of the keto products out there have been helpful when he wants specific foods at times when it’s already difficult to manage his blood sugar (e.g. to send in to school for a class party). Recipe talk could be interesting to me.

        But my son also eats plenty of non-keto food, including plenty of carbs, and Casey trying to sell me on the whole diet would be maddening.

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    2. RIP Pillowfort*

      Yeah the keto recipes, deals, etc. That’s not nearly as grating as the criticism about sugar, pushing the diet on new hires, or that cravings are bad.

      Like I have health issues that preclude a keto diet (not that it appeals to me anyway). But I’m okay with telling Casey and other people that have pushed diet trends on me that I’m fine with the way I’m eating, and you really shouldn’t make this your whole personality.

      I had a coworker that harped on about how I /needed/ to go to her gym and join her classes to help me lose weight. She was a bore about it, and I let her know that if I ever wanted a gym, I’d ask her but she needs to drop it. We found other things to talk about like her pets. Just push back- if Casey gets bent out of shape that’s her issue.

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    3. Seashell*

      I agree it’s OK to talk about something you’re passionate about, but only if it is workplace appropriate. “I’m going to a Bible study this weekend” or “I’m dating a new guy” is fine. “Jesus said (whatever)” or “Here’s what me and the new guy do behind closed doors..” is not.

      Also, people need to read the room. If your only topic of conversation is something that no one else is interested in, then expand your topics. I’d prefer “How about this weather?” to Casey’s 3rd comment about her diet plan that day.

      Reply ↓
      1. HannahS*

        This is where I land. I think sometimes this commentariat swings too far into “You can’t talk about [topic] at work, ever, because it’s annoying/intrusive/might trigger someone” where actually there are a lot of topics that are fine to discuss, as long as you do it in a work-appropriate way and are receptive to being told (directly or indirectly) to change the subject. I’ve had many mundane, totally workplace appropriate conversations that touch on diet, exercise, health, pregnancy/parenthood, mental illness, religion, and politics.

        I would say that a lot of those off-limit topics can be things that people are not even passionate about, but are a fact of life that sometimes come up in conversation.

        Reply ↓
        1. Statler von Waldorf*

          I strongly agree, and I actually find it kind of adorable. I honestly think most of this commentariat would quite literally lose their mind if they heard the kind of conversations that go on in every blue-collar job I’ve ever had.

          It was a culture shock moving into my first office job. I remember my new boss taking me aside and telling me that unlike my previous work in the oilfield, we didn’t use profanity as punctuation at a lawyer’s office.

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          2. Bast*

            I’ve been at plenty of law firms. In half, it was the most swear happy place you’d ever be in. The others were a little more buttoned up, and while “Damn printer is backed up again” or “Shhht I can’t believe he’s calling again” would be acceptable, constant F would not be.

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          3. Kella*

            What makes you think the commentariat hasn’t experienced the kind of work environment you’re describing for themselves, *and didn’t like it*? I feel like it’s a common mistake for people to assume that if I say “Oh, x topic isn’t appropriate for work” that means I’ve never been exposed to X topic at work, rather than, I’ve been repeatedly exposed to X topic and it made me uncomfortable every time.

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        2. Starbuck*

          Well, people only write in here about those topics coming up at work when it’s become a problem. And the easiest, least nuanced response is to just ban conversation on that topic… because usually the problem person has demonstrated that they already don’t understand the nuance of how to talk about it in a work-appropriate way!

          So sure, these things are discussed in workplaces all over the place and a lot of times it won’t be a problem. But here, it is a problem.

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        3. Ellis Bell*

          The part about willing to be told no, is the key part here. Has anyone in OP’s workplace just said “Oh I don’t eat meat” or “Uh no, not for me” or “I don’t do diets” or “Can we not talk about diets?” It sounds like people are simply running away, because it’s such a faux pas that people are embarrassed to correct it.

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    4. Keymaster of Gozer (She/Her)*

      I’m reminded of the coworker I had years ago who became a new parent and was overjoyed about it. Which was fine until she started proclaiming to the rest of us that we HAD to have children and that our lives were meaningless without them.

      By all means be happy about your own life and choices therein. But it’s like religion – okay to have it yourself, okay to say it adds to your life but not okay to try and convert others. Especially at work.

      Reply ↓
  6. Lab Rabbit*

    At least Game of Thrones eventually came to an end. Keto and other diet talk can go on forever.

    I sometimes have pushed back on these types of people by asking them “Why are you trying so hard to convince yourself this is the right choice for you?” Because like most evangelism, if you were 100% of your beliefs, you wouldn’t feel as great a need to push them off on other people.

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    1. Apex Mountain*

      I don’t know – that sounds equally as rude as the original comments. Plus why would you want to get in a back and forth about it? Just ignore

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        1. Guacamole Bob*

          It’s always surprising to me how many otherwise functional adults believe that just because something works well for them, it would be fantastic for everyone. It takes about 10 seconds of thought or research to realize that with various medical conditions and lifestyles there is no diet, exercise plan, or other health or wellness practice that will work for 100% of people. People are different!

          Reply ↓
      2. Zarniwoop*

        Sometimes rude is appropriate and deserved when responding to ongoing unsolicited rude, especially when politely asking it to stop has failed.

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    3. Radioactive Cyborg Llama*

      I’ve made dietary changes that have had a huge positive impact on my health and well-being. I can see someone getting evangelical about it. They need to not do that, but it could very well come from a feeling like it’s been miraculous for her so she shares that, rather than she’s trying to convince herself.

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    4. Liz the Snackbrarian*

      While it’s a fair point, that can come across as combative. Plus the primary goal here is to shut Casey down, not open up more conversation. I would only go for this approach if LW is reasonably confident Casey won’t have a good comeback.

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      1. Observer*

        I would only go for this approach if LW is reasonably confident Casey won’t have a good comeback.

        I would leave out the “good”. Because it doesn’t matter if Casey’s comeback is good or not – if they have any comeback, you’re going to be stuck in an even worse conversation.

        This is where “never JADE” makes sense. Just “My diet is not up for discussion.”

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    5. Lilia Calderu*

      “like most evangelism, if you were 100% of your beliefs, you wouldn’t feel as great a need to push them off on other people.”

      Wow, I hadn’t thought about it that way, but it rings so very true.

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    7. Bast*

      Trust me, if someone really loves a topic they can keep going FOREVER. We have one co-worker who has watched a once popular sitcom (think Friends) that has been off the air for 20+ years. We have expressed to him, on at least 50 occasions, that none of us have seen that show, iconic though it may be, nor do we have any interest in seeing it, yet multiple times a week he will pass by and say, “Remember that episode in SHOW where ____?” “Hey, did you see what ACTOR from SHOW is doing now? Definitely not looking the same as he did back in the day, remember that hair cut he had in SHOW?” I’m not sure how much you can keep talking about a show that has been gone for that long and where only one party is keeping the conversation going, but he manages.

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    8. Observer*

      Because like most evangelism, if you were 100% of your beliefs, you wouldn’t feel as great a need to push them off on other people.

      I hear that all the time, and to be honest, it’s just not true. Sure, that is sometimes the case, but not always but a long shot.

      And it’s also a *highly* non-helpful framing. In my experience, regardless of what the reason for the evangelism it, this kind of question does not shut down people who think it’s appropriate to start this kind of pushiness in this kind of context.

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    9. Hyaline*

      Dang, definitely not an appropriate response here! For one, this is very combative and adversarial for a first attempt at curbing the talk. It’s unnecessary. And second, this is a manager trying to find ways to talk to an employee—clapping back like this is not ok in that context! I can see pulling this out as a peer if multiple polite redirects or a direct request to not talk duet failed, but definitely not from a manager in their first attempt at conversation about the situation!

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  7. Antilles*

    As an example, with any new person we hire, on day one Casey will start telling them about their Keto lifestyle and asking them if they are interested in supplements or if they want to hear about eating Keto.
    If I started at a job and this was my first day, I’d be seriously rethinking my acceptance. Not that I’d necessarily bail out, but it *would* immediately make me wonder what’s wrong with this workplace that Day 1 someone is critiquing my diet, providing unsolicited health advice, and trying to sell me supplements.
    Either you’re totally cool with this or management is spineless and in either case, I’m blinking extremely hard at this being my first impression.

    Reply ↓
    2. darsynia*

      I think is a good comment for the LW to see and consider as the impetus to shut Casey down. Hiring and retention are tough enough without incidental sabotage.

      Reply ↓
    1. Tracy*

      I realize that it’s annoying to repeatedly hear about other people’s current obsessions but I was not expecting such hostility in the comments. Wow.

      Reply ↓
      1. AF Vet*

        Food, diet, and exercise can all be pretty triggering, and it can be exhausting trying to avoid the discussion all the time and everywhere. It has taken me over 5 years of actively learning to love my body, listen to its needs, and accept my current reality as it is right now. 5 YEARS. And I didn’t have any kind of eating disorder, just a body too large for fashion in high school that also failed me in the military. And I still default to “Ugh” more often than gratitude!

        Among other things, this forum is a place where people’s masks can slip a bit and they can vent the frustration that they can’t at work. Nutrition is one of those places where venting is more common. Unless you’re Casey from this story, it’s not being vented AT you. If anything, you’ll hopefully learn from the stories on here why it would be frustrating to be around someone evangelizing in this way. It can be frustrating in the real world to grey rock around every Casey whose manager is unwilling to rein them in.

        Reply ↓
      2. Observer*

        I realize that it’s annoying to repeatedly hear about other people’s current obsessions but I was not expecting such hostility in the comments.

        Some of it is a bit much. But you should really read what people are writing here. What they are saying is that the diet talk and judgement, and pushing of supplements (that they sell?) are more than just “annoying”. This stuff can be actively harmful to people.

        Reply ↓
      3. The Unspeakable Queen Lisa*

        You must live a very privileged life where no one has ever criticized or tried to shame you for what you eat/what you don’t eat.

        Reply ↓
      4. Dinwar*

        I’ve been in my body for 40 years. I’ve learned what it can and can’t do, I’ve learned the tells that show I’m getting close to the edge of its operational envelope. And I’m the one who has to live with the consequences of it. I’m also an adult and perfectly capable of managing myself and dealing with the consequences if I screw up. Further, I’m a paleontologist who’s specialized in the Tertiary of North America–the time period that keto and paleo dieters think is ideal for human diets.

        Someone telling me how to treat my body–without any more information than “You work in the same office as me”–is infantilizing and deeply insulting on a personal and professional level. There is no reasonable justification for doing it; it is inherently insulting.

        If you’re going to insult people you have to expect them to be offended.

        Further, this isn’t a diet argument being made. It’s an ethical one. The person presenting the argument is, outside of dieticians in a medical setting, in fact saying “You are evil if you do not eat the way I tell you.” I’m all for having a robust and vigorous debate on the subject of ethics–no joke, some of the best evenings of my life were spent drinking good bourbon or cheep beer and having loud discussions about ethics–but if you’re going to come out the gate swinging you’ve got to expect people to swing back. It’s fine if you want to call me evil for eating a different way than you–but expect me to point out the moral failure inherent in presenting yourself as possessing superior knowledge when in fact you haven’t done the amount of homework I’d expect a reasonably intelligent high schooler to conduct before presenting an argument.

        I will admit that until I developed (or recognized, hard to say in my case) a food allergy I didn’t realize just how annoying this sort of thing was, or how infantilizing it is. I understood it was wrong, but there’s a world of difference between knowing something on an intellectual level, vs. having the experience of being told what you can and can’t eat as if you were a child merely because one class of organisms is not an option. I cannot describe the frustration of being told “We can’t eat here, you have an allergy” when you’ve eaten at that place a dozen times with that person.

        Reply ↓
      5. Kella*

        The hostility you’re seeing is likely not actually directed at Casey but at the many people in those commenters’ lives who have shamed them for what they eat, been controlling of their eating habits, or dismissed and ignored their dietary restrictions in favor of their own dietary agenda. Food is an emotionally charged topic and necessary for survival, which can make it way more than just annoying when someone interferes with your choices around what you eat.

        Reply ↓
      2. Cohort1*

        Don’t you just love auto correct? I view as a like an online game where you have to figure out what the writer actually meant to say. “Butter” took me a sec.

        Reply ↓
  11. Jen MaHRtini*

    If someone said “I’m going to go snack on my amazing Keto-bread.” to me, I would make it a point to never speak with them again.

    Reply ↓
    2. Dinwar*

      I’ve had coworkers on keto who bragged about snacks and it wasn’t very annoying. Discussions of snacks are pretty common in my group, so it was pretty natural. And “I’m trying this new snack, it’s keto-friendly and really tasty!” is more polite than “Why would you by non-sour-dough pretzels? Can’t you afford the good stuff?”

      I try not to be annoyed by other people being excited about stuff. If the conversation is “This is something I consider a good point about this snack”, it’s just them trying to share joy. It’s the “How dare you eat that, it’s a personal insult to me” comments that I dislike. YOU can eat as much keto as you want, but keep your hands (and opinions) off MY muffins!

      Reply ↓
      1. MsM*

        Yeah, my husband gets very excited about new keto snacks because it’s hard to find stuff that’s actually low sugar enough to satisfy his doctor-mandated restrictions and tastes like what it’s supposed to be. He’d still much rather eat what everyone else is eating.

        Reply ↓
        1. AF Vet*

          I feel the same way about vegan cheese. Late in life milk allergy means I KNOW what excellent cheese tastes like… and currently there’s no THERE there.

          Reply ↓
      2. Nightengale*

        also. . . because I don’t like sourdough?

        Reminds me of my childhood where my mother talked about occasionally splurging on the “good” dried apricots but I preferred the cheaper ones. (Years later figured out she liked the Mediterranean ones and I like the California ones.) Taste is subjective. Some of us can afford sourdough and Mediterranean apricots and just prefer the other kind.

        Reply ↓
        1. Dinwar*

          It was even dumber in my case. I kept a jar of pretzels on my desk, both to snack on and to encourage others to snack on–if someone comes into my office I can say “Hey, while you’re here, can you tell me X/help me with X?” and they’re much more likely to do it. Unfortunately the store I went to was out of the “good” pretzels (the ones in the plastic barrel with the green lid), so I got a bag of random ones without thinking about it. That was a year and a half ago and I still get picked on for it! My general response is “Hey, if you don’t like it, you buy the stupid things.” I mean, who complains about free snacks? (I know, I know….)

          Reply ↓
      3. Jen MaHRtini*

        I have no issue with people who choose to eat keto, and if it came up over lunch, like “That bread looks great.” “Can you believe it’s keto?”, fine. It’s the performative “I’m going to go snack..” announcement.

        Reply ↓
        1. Dek*

          Yeah, I can’t really see myself saying “I’m going to go snack on my amazing maple cookies” or “time to eat my delicious cheese and nut pack!”

          Reply ↓
    4. Salty Caramel*

      I think the refrain I’d be using with Casey would be, “I’m glad that’s working out for you. I need to go do X now.”

      Reply ↓
  12. CheesePlease*

    I also think you can support your employees that are avoiding Casey.

    Are you aware if anyone has said anything directly? I know I personally don’t care about peoples diets and shut them down politely if they say anything to me directly “my diet works for me – thanks! Have you gone to the new walking trail?” or “yeah, thankfully I feel great after eating cookies, did you hear back from Ralph on the report?” or “No supplements for me – thanks! Did you watch the new documentary on sunken ships?”

    Reply ↓
  13. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

    As someone with a really fraught history with anorexia this would send me straight into several days of eating nothing.

    To most people this kind of talk is annoying but harmless. To some of us it could be fatal.

    Definitely point out to Casey that other people’s food, diets and lifestyles are OFF LIMITS.

    Reply ↓
    1. Nah*

      “If you buy my definitely-not-a-MLM supplements you won’t even need to eat! Get rid of those ~pesky cravings~ for food!” NO! NO! NO! GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL AND DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS!

      I’m honestly SHOCKED that LW has allowed this to go on for so long, especially when it sounds like their report is directly trying to sell stuff on top of proselytizing?

      Reply ↓
  14. Seashell*

    Casey: “I’m going to go snack on my amazing Keto-bread.”

    Coworker: “And I’m going to go snack on my amazing Doritos.”

    Casey sounds unbearable.

    Reply ↓
      1. cottagechick73*

        As you stare her intently with a dead pan look as you crunch those tasty Doritos, wave the bag around to disperse the spicy air

        Reply ↓
  15. Former Young Lady*

    OP, good on you for asking about this. When someone behaves this way at work, it absolutely reflects on their manager and the overall workplace culture, so it’s crucial to address it with Casey ASAP.

    Reply ↓
  16. beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox*

    Goodness, not only does this sound exhausting, it can also be actively triggering to people with a history of restrictive or disordered eating. Like, I know we’re all in charge of ourselves, but depending on where I was in my recovery, I would also have probably avoided Casey entirely at different times for the sake of my own mental health. Heck, I used to eat lunch in my car a lot when I worked at an office where people spent the lunch hour bemoaning their weight and food choices and swearing they were going to burn the calories they were actively eating at the gym later because it was simply too much for me.

    Alison is right, though, this would be frustrating even if it was about a rather benign subject. Letting Casey know that they need to pull WAY back and also that you’ve noticed this affecting how others interact with them hopefully will do the trick. It’s possible they don’t even realize how often they’re talking about it? Maybe?

    (Also, as someone who hasn’t had gluten — at least not on purpose — for nearly 12 years, I find the whole announcing that you can’t eat something a bit much. Maybe I’m just used to not having options or something, but at this point, the only time I offer that information is if I’m being asked about dietary restrictions or if someone is aggressively offering me something that would make me ill and keeps asking. Like, it can be a bummer if I’m left out of treats being brought to the office or whatever, but I don’t expect others to always consider buying something special — and often more expensive — for me. I admittedly have kind of a weird relationship with food, though, so that could just be me. I just…if I want to know for SURE that I’ll be able to eat at a function, I’ll either ask the person in charge of food or I’ll bring my own. I don’t announce it constantly about food others have brought.)

    Reply ↓
    1. FricketyFrack*

      I don’t think that’s just you – I’m vegan and I always make sure I have my own food because I know it can be a pain to provide it and I never expect anyone else to accommodate my diet. My coworkers are actually really sweet and do try to bring snacks I can eat, but I don’t make a fuss if they have donuts or something. Casey is the outlier here, I think. I hope, anyway.

      Reply ↓
      1. Cinnamon Stick*

        Fortunately, there are plenty of people (and you sound like one of them) who are on specific diets who don’t evangelize and can discuss food without being judgmental or holier-than-thou.

        Reply ↓
    2. Guacamole Bob*

      In general, I find that people who have restricted diets by medical necessity are, as a group, less interested in talking about their food restrictions than people who choose limited diets.

      I’ve been a vegetarian for ~15 years and I hope I’m quite chill about it, but there are far too many Caseys in the world.

      Reply ↓
      1. Paint N Drip*

        I could not agree more. When my food allergies come up, some people lose their minds about the length of the list “I haven’t noticed!!” like yeahh… I’m not in the habit of ANNOUNCING all the swaps or limitations or bland choices I make for my own lunches, but I’m succeeding in feeding myself so no need for alarm

        Reply ↓
    3. Annika Hansen*

      I am vegetarian. It rarely comes up. We rarely get lunch bought for us (state university). If we do, I just check in with person coordinating to make sure that there will be something for me. I have also asked to go to the front of the food line to make sure I get my vegetarian option. I have had issues where non-vegetarians have eaten all the vegetarian pizza before I had a chance to eat. I know they didn’t do it out of malice. They saw food that looked good and ate it.

      I have had co-workers who had no idea that I was vegetarian because it just never came up.

      Reply ↓
    4. Keymaster of Gozer (she/her)*

      It’s been decades of off and on treatment for anorexia and I still will never eat at work. The ‘oh you’d be healthier if you ate X’ or ‘is that all you’re having?’ and so on did an absolute number on my mental state.

      I’m fine with people eating whatever they want in front of me. I’m fine if they make appreciative comments about how it tastes nice. Heck, I’m totally fine with ‘I got this great new bread at place X’ too! But as soon as it becomes comments on my food (or lack thereof) or what I should or shouldn’t be doing then…no.

      Reply ↓
  17. Clisby*

    I’d definitely make note of the butcher who has amazing deals. And then I’d make a point of bringing Cheetos for my snack every day.

    Reply ↓
    1. Lab Rabbit.*

      Every time Cheerios go on sale, I make sure to buy them because they are amazing to me. I’ve tried many of the store brands and they just don’t match up at all.

      Reply ↓
      1. Clisby*

        And don’t get me started on the times the store only has the Cheetos puffs or the Flaming Cheetos. I want the original Crunchy Cheetos and nothing else will do!

        Reply ↓
    2. Dek*

      I will admit to being slightly evangelical for a local butcher that makes sausage out of their ribeye trimmings. It’s just *so good.*

      But that’s different that needing to comment about diets et al.

      Reply ↓
  18. Person from the Resume*

    How do I politely let Casey know that their personal passions need to be saved for time/space outside of the workplace? Advice on how to kindly and supportively ask for this to be toned way down?

    You are a manager. It doesn’t sound like Casey is polite or kind or supportive with their comments; they’re annoying. People are actively avoiding them. As a manager, you should be firm and professional and not unkind (which doesn’t mean kind; I mean neutral). Don’t worry about being polite or kind and supportive.

    Reply ↓
    1. XF1013*

      Yeah, I feel like the “people are actively avoiding Casey” part is being overlooked here. This needs to be nipped in the bud before it affects people’s ability to do their job and some projects are impacted and eventually the best people are drawn to Casey-free workplaces.

      I’m not saying that Casey is on the spectrum, but I am and I sometimes ramble about my fixation without realizing it, exactly like Casey is doing. Telling me “you can’t criticize other people’s food or offer health advice” could easily sound to me like “you can still talk about keto all you want as long as you don’t do those two specific things.” Casey should be told to drop the keto subject entirely, which might be a difficult adjustment for them (a few reminders might be needed) but ultimately serves everyone’s best interests.

      Reply ↓
      1. Lab Rabbit*

        I don’t think autism has anything to do with it. People with food obsessions can be incredibly annoying about it, whether it’s keto or veganism.

        Reply ↓
        1. Guacamole Bob*

          I think the point here is that a person who is harping on one topic and already not noticing social cues that it’s unwelcome may need a less subtle “knock it off” message. OP sounds like she wants to be nice about it, and it’s a real concern that with how Casey is described, they might not really get the message if it’s soft-pedaled too much. Better to be direct.

          Reply ↓
    2. bamcheeks*

      Yes! This isn’t a friend of a friend or your sister’s partner or even a peer that you have to sit next to. You have management authority and it’s OK to flex it!

      Reply ↓
  19. Apex Mountain*

    I wouldn’t care if they were just talking about their own diet, but when you start giving others unsolicited advice that needs to be shut down

    Reply ↓
    1. Irish Teacher.*

      Yes and the stuff like “this can help you push past your cravings” is extremely inappropriate and almost a bit insulting unless the person has mentioned that they are struggling with cravings. Otherwise it comes across as, “well, obviously, nobody would WANT to eat the way you are, so you must be unable to resist your cravings and be anxious for help doing so.”

      Assuming how somebody else feels/what they want and giving them advice based on those assumptions is pretty dismissive of their reality. How would Casey feel if somebody started advising her on how to “resist” her “obsession” with Keto? I would guess she’d feel pretty invalidated and even insulted.

      Reply ↓
        2. metadata minion*

          Seriously! My partner does a (much less obsessive) low-carb diet for a number of reasons and it works really well for him. I tried it in the spirit of scientific inquiry and within a couple of days I was ready to do murder for a slice of bread. Turns out, bodies are different, and mine is clearly adapted to be able to survive indefinitely on bread and cheese :-b

          Reply ↓
  20. Two Days at a Time*

    She should not be soliciting business during work! That alone should be banned- no more offers to sell people supplements. Especially new people, who are not yet in the know about who they can push back on and who they can’t. Sheesh.

    Reply ↓
    1. Artemesia*

      This of course BUT to focus on selling supplements misses the main point that he needs to shut up about diet and critiquing other people’s food choices. If the manager leads with ‘selling supplements’ and it turns out he isn’t selling — that blunts the main message which is SHUT UP you clod. (phrased more graciously but nevertheless bluntly enough to be clear)

      Reply ↓
  22. H.Regalis*

    Ugh, annoying. I hope Casey moves out of that phase of New Hobby/Lifestyle Thing soon. I think we’ll all been there but it still gets tiresome for everyone around you.

    Reply ↓
  23. Rex Libris*

    …and I’ll be really disappointed if someone hasn’t claimed “Amazing Keto Bread” as a user name before the end of this thread.

    Reply ↓
    1. The Prettiest Curse*

      I, for one, can’t wait to see whether the Amazing Keto bread gets into it with all the usernames that are a variant on cheap ass rolls, or whether solidarity between different bread products prevails.

      Reply ↓
      1. Not on board*

        Someone needs to adopt “Cheap Ass Keto Bread” as a user name now. The oxymoronic quality of that name is amazing.

        Reply ↓
      3. Cheap Ass Keto Bread*

        I love my carbs!

        Aldi has a multi-grain bread that is essentially whole wheat bread with bird seed in it, and it is amazing! I need to pick up another loaf after work today.

        Reply ↓
  24. Ann Onymous*

    The keto diet intentionally induces a mild form of ketoacidosis which is the condition that kills people with type 1 diabetes who don’t get enough insulin. I acknowledge people’s freedom to make choices about their own diet and lifestyle, but as a person with type 1 diabetes, I find proselytizing about the keto diet to be off-putting at best and offensive at worst. I would have very little patience for a coworker who was behaving like Casey.

    Reply ↓
    1. Three Flowers*

      Seriously. The real keto diet is an amazing intervention when used carefully in medically necessary situations. It can also kill you. OP needs to treat this like somebody promoting snake oil or spreading vaccine misinformation and shut it down.

      Reply ↓
      1. greyling*

        My dad ended up in the hospital for several days after starting DIY keto. It’s definitely more intense than your average diet.

        I like Alison’s point that people are allowed to be a little tiresome sometimes, even around food. I’m chronically ill and well aware of how harmful obsessive diet talk can be and I still catch myself sharing too much about my dietary preferences from time to time. Directness is kindness! I hope Casey is responsive and reins it in with minimal drama.

        Reply ↓
    2. Guacamole Bob*

      +1

      My son has type 1 diabetes and celiac disease, and we do buy some items marketed as keto because they’re low carb and gluten free (especially breakfast cereal, since regular cereal often spikes his blood sugar first thing in the morning), but as a full diet it’s absolutely not appropriate for him and encouragement that everyone should be trying it (and fully eliminating sugar, which is sometimes medically necessary for a type 1 diabetic to consume) is very off-putting.

      Reply ↓
    3. Apex Mountain*

      Not to be confused with Lactic acidosis, which is what killed Private William Santiago, after a code red was ordered by Lt Jonathan James Kendrick, who was ordered to do that by Colonel Nathan R Jessup

      Reply ↓
      1. Pool Noodle Barnacle Pen0s*

        Thank you. Ketosis is NOT a “mild form” of ketoacidosis. This is not the appropriate place for misinformation.

        Reply ↓
    5. FrivYeti*

      There are a *lot* of people that keto can kill. In addition to diabetes, it’s extremely bad for anyone with liver, kidney, or heart problems, which is a huge swath of the population.

      Reply ↓
  25. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

    “and makes lots of vocal statements when anyone brings anything they don’t eat into the office.”

    That’s enough of a red line right there.

    Reply ↓
    1. Paint N Drip*

      Totally agree. Along with people are avoiding Casey – obviously we have crossed into ‘this situation needs to be managed’ territory

      Reply ↓
  27. duinath*

    I think the most important thing is to make clear Casey cannot comment on people’s food anymore, and secondly if at all possible try to shut down supplement talk.

    I can imagine many, if not most, of their coworkers are incredibly uncomfortable at this point.

    Reply ↓
    1. Nah*

      Incredibly uncomfortable *at best* if they’re all actively avoiding Casey at this point, possibly getting scammed into buying snake oil MLM supplements, and being *actively triggering* at worst. I feel so sorry for the coworkers that LW has allowed this to go on for so long, but hopefully after this letter LW puts a hard stop to this behavior.

      Reply ↓
    2. Observer*

      secondly if at all possible try to shut down supplement talk

      I don’t think this is secondary. And I also think that this is mandatory. This is not “if possible” – it *needs* to happen. Because not only could this be triggering, Casey is peddling some fairly unsafe nonsense *and* they are apparently pressuring people to buy stuff. And that’s a major no-no right there.

      Reply ↓
  28. Susie and Elaine Problem*

    Me, I’m on the paleo diet. No, not paleolithic, paleozoic. I’m only allowed to eat trilobites but I can eat as many as I want.

    Reply ↓
    1. Cheap Ass Keto Bread*

      I am beyond disappointed that I will never ever get to see a living trilobite. They were such cool creatures!

      Reply ↓
      1. Hastily Blessed Fritos*

        They’re not actually very closely related, but horseshoe crabs are similarly ancient and definitely have trilobite vibes.

        Reply ↓
      2. Slow Gin Lizz*

        Same! I hold out hope that someday we’ll discover a population of them living deep in the ocean where no one has been yet, a la the caeolocanth.

        Reply ↓
        1. Artemesia*

          hope so — there were so many types and they endured for so very long that it is kind of odd that no descendants seem to be left. It would be very cool to find some out there still surviving.

          Reply ↓
          1. MsM*

            The Permian Extinction was incredibly thorough, and they’d been declining prior to that. :( (But yeah, rooting for some secret cave population.)

            Reply ↓
    4. Dinwar*

      You can still eat brachiopods, bryozoans, and crinoids, though!

      I mean, brachiopods taste like mud, bryozoans have less nutrition than the average smartphone screen, and I’m not sure crinoids have enough roe to be worth eating. But you CAN still eat them!

      Squid and sharks are options as well. Nautilus is close to the nautoloid cephalopods that are so familiar to anyone who’s worked in the shallow marine deposits of North America. I know there were giant mushrooms and ferns as well, though I’ll confess my paleobotany isn’t what it should be.

      Reply ↓
    5. metadata minion*

      Ok, with this subthread everyone needs to go read the SF short story “More Tomorrow”. It features both trilobites and Doritos.

      Reply ↓
  29. Alan*

    Some people here are offering potential responses. Please note that almost any response other than “Please stop talking to me about this” will be seen as an invitation for discussion. Anything you say. “My doctor says I shouldn’t do Keto.” -> “You should see my doctor.” “My body can’t process .” -> “Keto will fix that.” “Studies show that Keto isn’t healthy for you.” -> “All those studies are done by the carb industry.” The only response that will work I’m afraid is avoidance or “Please stop.”

    Reply ↓
    1. H.Regalis*

      Yeah, sometimes people either refuse to pick up on the hint or are so into [whatever] that they seemingly can’t.

      I have a hoarder friend who has tried to extend her hoard to other people’s houses. Responses like, “Oh, I don’t have enough shelving to store all of these figurines” get met with “That’s okay. I’ll go to Ikea and buy and install shelving in your home for you” but a direct “no, thank you” will get her to back off.

      Reply ↓
    2. Juicebox Hero*

      Especially if the person is shilling for MLM. During the MLM “training” they are told to nitpick the hell out of any answer you give them until they find an opening they can exploit in order to make you buy something, hold an event for them, recruit you, whatever.

      Be especially wary if they ask you a leading question and then go silent. Their rule is “whoever speaks first, loses” and they’re counting on you being too polite to let the silence go on way too long.

      But, really, the answer to OP’s question is for them to do their job as manager and stop Casey from badgering their coworkers.

      Trust me, the people who are going out of their way to avoid Casey at all costs are resenting the hell out of you for not doing anything to stop it, and an ugly HR event will happen at some point.

      Reply ↓
  30. Alan*

    I had a coworker who was just like this with paleo. Any interaction we had. “I’m off to eat my paleo lunch.” “I feel so much better when I eat paleo. You should try it.”

    Reply ↓
  31. learnedthehardway*

    I think that Allison’s suggestion is a very good one – ie. have a direct conversation with Casey that commenting on other people’s food choices and marketing supplements to coworkers is NOT allowed and will become a performance issue, if continued.

    And then follow through on that if Casey doesn’t stop – make it clear that unsolicited diet advice is unwelcome and inappropriate, the same as any other kind of harassment.

    Reply ↓
  33. Not on board*

    When someone goes on a diet that is really working for them and they feel good about it, it can be hard not to enthusiastically share that with other people. I’ve been there. But for crying out loud, cut it out at work and stop commenting on other people’s food and/or choices and definitely don’t give advice. Also, Keto can be quite controversial as a diet (but also has merits, particularly for epilepsy) and is super restrictive.

    Reply ↓
  34. sciencelady*

    Keto evangelists always read to me a little like Fight Club.

    “The first rule of Keto: You must talk about Keto.
    The second rule of Keto: YOU MUST TALK ABOUT KETO.”

    Reply ↓
  35. Former Retail Lifer*

    As a vegetarian with a dairy allergy and a love of bread, I am a Keto fanatic’s worst nightmare. There is a 0% chance of converting me, and if Casey didn’t give it a rest after asking a few times nicely, I’d be escalating this. I have a moral opposition to some of the diet and an allergy to another part. I am NOT entertaining this. Whether or not anyone else has spoken up about it, you most certainly have people that are not only annoyed but have similar oppositions to mine, so thank you for addressing this.

    Reply ↓
    1. Busy Middle Manager*

      Agreed! I did keto for a while and my cholesterol went up and I got my first heart plaque. Never hear youtubers on the topic talk about health risks like that, they make it sound like all health issues magically go away because it’s “natural” (while ignoring that our ancestors didn’t eat meat 3X a day).

      I firmly believe that the success stories come from what the dieter eliminated, not what they add. You can be allergic or intolerant to the most random things and keto becomes your elimination diet and you don’t even realize you feel good because you eliminated an allergy trigger

      Reply ↓
        1. Rex Libris*

          I’ve always loved the argument that “because our ancestors did it” somehow makes it a more healthy lifestyle choice. Our ancestors also thought lead based makeup and mercury health tonics were a good idea.

          Reply ↓
        2. Dinwar*

          Common misconception. The average lifespan isn’t the same as the expected lifespan at any given age bracket. If you made it to 15 you were likely to live to see 60, 70, even 80 (women somewhat less so than men). The issue is that infant mortality was astronomical compared to today, up to 50% or even higher in some cases. I’ve read about cultures that didn’t even name children until they were a few years old on the grounds that there was no sense getting attached, most of them would die anyway. This tends to drag down the demographics.

          That said, survival isn’t the only issue here. As much as I love the Middle Ages, I fully agree with the quote from Timeline “The only thing worse than dying in the Middle Ages is living in them.” Even as late as the 1920s a significant portion of the population of the USA was living in a constant state of malnutrition (vegetables sold for good money, and you can’t sell them if you eat them).

          For my money, success stories come from two sources:

          1) Any diet will make you more mindful of what you eat. Most people don’t think about what they eat very much, and today’s society makes the default options pretty bad for you (super high in sugar, super low in nutrients). Literally any diet will, by its nature, make you consider what you eat, which will improve that situation.

          2) Diversity. Humans can survive on nearly any sort of diet. For any diet you’ll find some physiology that works well with it. Unfortunately, this means that no success story (or failure story) is really relevant to you specifically–unless your physiology is extremely similar to the other person’s, it simply won’t matter. It’s like hair: What works to keep super-curly hair healthy isn’t necessarily going to work for someone with super-straight hair (outside some very basic minimum standards).

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      2. Rex Libris*

        I suspect the success stories come from a combination of moving from an even worse diet (“I used to live on nothing but soda and chips, but now with keto, I feel amazing!”) and simple metabolism/genetics, meaning that it’s not that keto is objectively a great diet, just that it works for the people it works for, who then assume it will work for everybody.

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      3. Anonymask*

        Absolutely agree about the elimination part of the diet. Elimination diets are a super useful medical tool to help find allergens/things that don’t agree with you. I think a lot of the super restrictive fad diets rely on people feeling better because they cut out an allergen, which then helps perpetuate the cycle of “this diet is so great and you should do it too!”

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  36. He's just this guy, you know?*

    There were a bunch of people who were into Keto at my last job. They went on and on about it so much (to each other, thankfully, although it was an open office so anyone within earshot – like myself – could easily hear them) that I was half convinced they must have been in a cult or something.

    Reply ↓
  37. Bonkers*

    Personally, I think more of us should start proselytizing about moving permanently to DST. But maybe that’s just because I have multiple little kids, and am sick of people crowing about that “extra hour of sleep”.

    Reply ↓
    1. HonorBox*

      I have older kids, so I was fine there. But my two dogs didn’t seem to get the “extra hour of sleep” memo. I’m right there with you. DST can fly a kite for all I care.

      Reply ↓
      1. Mrovka*

        On the topic of monkeying with time – Heather Cox Richardson has a fascinating bit about the extreme reaction to conversion to Standard Time in the 1800s. She posted it on her FB feed – highly recommend.

        Reply ↓
    3. Rex Libris*

      Actually, many sleep specialists recommend going to permanent standard time. Most arguments I’ve read for going to permanent daylight savings time are more economic based than health based. Personally, I’d just be happy if they’d pick one and stop moving back and forth, whichever it is.

      Reply ↓
    4. Scholarly Publisher*

      I fully support picking one time and sticking with it year round and will sit back with my popcorn while the Always DST/Always Standard folks battle it out..

      Reply ↓
    5. Clisby*

      I have a slight preference for standard time, but boy, I could start proselytizing about moving permanently to one time or the other. Just pick one and promise me it’ll be the same time all year round.

      Reply ↓
    6. Bike Walk Barb*

      The switch to standard time increases serious/fatal crashes involving pedestrians. The week after the fall-back date is historically the most dangerous week of the year to travel on foot. I wouldn’t bring this up every time I saw people in the break room but I do have strong feelings about forcing vulnerable people to be out in darkness in order to get to and from work. Sleepy drivers commuting in the dark aren’t good for anyone, really.

      My TED talk about why we should stay on daylight saving time to save lives in our current transportation system:

      It could be different if:
      – drivers all had better headlights (European standards are higher than US),
      – all streets had pedestrian-scale lighting (not the high-up lights that cast shadows),
      – speed limits were set so drivers genuinely had time to see and stop in time with road designs that support driving at those safer speeds,
      – crosswalks were fully marked, signed, and designed for visibility…
      – Bonus: This will make streets better for everyone year round no matter what time it is.

      A lot of ifs between here and there though.

      Study from Carnegie Mellon University: Pedestrians walking during the evening rush hour are three times more likely to be struck during the week following the time change than they were the previous week.

      Insurance Institute for Highway Safety: Each year, the time change costs approximately 200 pedestrians their lives,

      Reply ↓
  38. Indolent Libertine*

    Casey is likely to hear “the team needs to be able to work without so much unsolicited commentary on food choices” as meaning that the topic itself is fine, they just need to do a tiny bit less. I’d take “so much” out of the above altogether. Casey sounds exhausting to be around and I’m glad not to be there!

    Reply ↓
    1. HonorBox*

      I think you’re right. Casey needs to drop the talk altogether. If it hadn’t gotten this far already, the mention of keto waffles or something seemingly innocuous would be just that. Casey making an innocuous comment and people can roll their eyes. But even opening the door a crack – both with “so much” and with “unsolicited commentary” gives Casey the opportunity to continue. I think shutting it down is the only way to go because if people are avoiding Casey, there’s direct impact on the business.

      Reply ↓
  39. BatManDan*

    People that aren’t 100% confident of their life choices frequently try to recruit others to their lifestyle as a form of validation / decreasing their need to look more closely at themselves.

    Reply ↓
  40. hedonist pescatarian*

    Desperately hoping they hire one of those ‘militant vegans’ people like to complain about online (all the vegans I have actually met IRL are lovely and very live-and-let-live) and let these two fight it out.

    Reply ↓
  41. 40 Years in the Hole*

    Shortly before my (final) retirement a cube colleague was blessed and beloved by the keto gods – and.let.everyone.know. In his cube; in the hallways, break room, conf room. Anywhere he could set up his soapbox.
    I just politely ignored him as he banged in about how I could be eating better, how great he felt (thankfully no supplement push). Come my retirement lunch with the team, he still went on about what folks chose for lunch and why keto was “it.” I doubled down on my fish and chips order. No regrets, 12/10 would do again.

    Reply ↓
  42. Nuke*

    Not work related but I had dinner with a lifelong friend and her mom last night, and her mom is very much Like This with the added fun of “I don’t do Western Medicine(tm) anymore”. She made sure to let me know, after I casually mentioned I like almond milk more than regular milk, that almonds are terrible for “inflammation” and are probably definitely causing all of the health problems I’m dealing with. And she had health problems, but she cut all this stuff out of her diet, and now she feels great! So I should try that, too, because so many foods are Evil and Bad (she legit said “Bad Foods”), and boy you’d feel so much better if you just changed your diet instead of attending physical therapy for tendinitis–

    It’s so awkward and unwelcome in ANY situation. I’m very happy for people who feel better after diet changes and identifying their issues, but I’m sorry, my scoliosis is not going to be cured by not drinking mountain dew! (real suggestion made by an old coworker…)

    Reply ↓
    1. Blue Sparks*

      Not to derail the conversation from work too much, but I can commiserate about people like this in the personal world too. My mother-in-law is one – she thinks that consuming the right combination of spices can cure cancer (do you REALLY think that science wouldn’t have discovered it yet if the cure to cancer was that easy??). There is no arguing with her – if you disagree that just means you “aren’t ready for the truth yet.” Ugh.

      Reply ↓
    2. Dinwar*

      My go-to for this is to explain that humans have adapted to a huge variety of diets, and to go on in detail about the evidence for this. I’ve done some research (both for these conversations and just because it’s come up, both professionally and via some hobbies of mine), and I’ve found that most people who want to evangelize about life choices can’t really handle a real discussion about actual evidence.

      I’d also be tempted to go the “herbalism and correspondences” route, because most of the time even by this logic the statements these people make are nonsense. But that’s a somewhat more dangerous line of discussion for the next four years.

      Reply ↓
  43. WantonSeedStitch*

    Some of this stuff isn’t awful–deals on meat make me excited too, and I’m not anything approaching keto. The bit about keto waffles at the potluck sounds fairly innocuous too. I would frame feedback to her from a point of view of “it’s nice this is making you happy and it’s fine to, say, tell people you’re bringing keto waffles to a potluck, but remarks you’ve made like X and Y have a judgmental tone, and that’s causing your coworkers to want to avoid talking to you. You’ve also said things like A and B that come across as pushing your dietary choices on others, which is also causing people to avoid you. Please make a conscious effort to avoid being judgey about food and evangelizing about dietary practices to your coworkers.”

    Reply ↓
  44. HonorBox*

    Maybe this is being a bit picky about wording, but I don’t think shutting down unsolicited comments is enough. Casey is not trained to give out advice about a diet that is super restrictive and can be unhealthy if not implemented and monitored well. Casey is also creating an environment in which teammates are unwilling to be around them. OP, I think you can probably put an overall moratorium on diet talk in the office. That’ll stop Casey now, and will give others opportunity to push back when the next person happens to find the diet of their dreams that they want to preach to others about.

    Reply ↓
    1. Aggretsuko*

      Yeah, I think Casey needs to be told there’s a blanket ban on keto talk, and that OP will have to have that talk a few more times before it kicks into Casey’s brain (if it does).

      Reply ↓
      1. Lab Rabbit.*

        A blanket ban on keto talk should just be blanket ban on diet talk in general. That’s just not appropriate in a work setting. (And if you call out keto in particular, Casey could feel that they are being picked on.)

        Reply ↓
        1. HonorBox*

          Yep. Don’t single Casey out. Without really knowing someone far beyond how well you should know someone at work, dispensing advice about diet and exercise is a bad idea.

          Reply ↓
  45. Never a dull moment manager*

    Thank you Ask a Manager – I’m the manager in this real situation and it is 100% not an MLM thing, they are NOT trying to sell anything – it is just a real obsession about a healthy change they made that they want to share with everyone. It is delicate for sure and many of the helpful comments are going to support me on this conversation. Truly thanks for the thoughts and especially the notes how many deal with mental/physical health issues related to food so we should avoid talking too much about it at work especially in a public setting.

    Reply ↓
    1. Lab Rabbit.*

      I don’t think it hurts to point out that while Casey feels it is a healthy change for them, it is not a healthy diet for everyone else. This would be just as annoying and inappropriate as they were banging on about the chocolate chip cookie diet, which is a diet I fully approve of.

      I hope you are able to get this under control. Please give us an update sometime!

      Reply ↓
      1. Busy Middle Manager*

        While I am not the hugest fan of keto since it is often frames as a cure-all when, after I did it, it felt more like an elimination diet to find what you’re allergic to – I agree. My first two jobs pushed sweets/pizza/bagels/cupcakes for someone’s birthday/anniversary or upcoming holidays constantly, I hated it. I wasn’t even eating super healthy or that thin, just average weight, but people would constantly comment on how I must have a fast metabolism, why was I “dieting” when I was thin, how a cupcake wasn’t going to hurt me, etc. Constantly. It was just too much. And to the OP’s point, you’d end up avoiding people or waiting a few days, if you knew they were going to be pushing cookies or boxes of chocolates on you.

        People here say a polite no should work but in some places, it’s so cultural, it’s a constant battle. Was blessed when I got into a company that ordered healthy food/didn’t just put a token half-stale grocery-store fruit try on the side

        Reply ↓
        1. Manager No More*

          Yes Busy Middle Manager! I don’t particularly like sweets as much as other people and I’m not going to force down some stale cupcake just to be part of the group – or god forbid, just have a bite – only to have people wax on and on about how much self control I have (which I really don’t) or how I can “afford” to eat more. It’s so odd and I don’t see it foisted on men as much as women.

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    2. Nah*

      I’d replace the “too much” with “at ALL” in that statement, personally. But thank you for working to make your work more including to those with issues around diet talk.

      Reply ↓
    3. HonorBox*

      I’m sure Casey is probably super passionate and that keto is great for them. But there are so many physical and emotional things tied in to diet (and exercise for that matter) that it can be really problematic for discussion of this at work. I hope you can shut things down completely, because a) Casey shouldn’t be singled out and b) you need to stop future Caseys before they start.

      Please let us know how things progress!

      Reply ↓
    4. Artemesia*

      I think the only thing that will work here is to shut it down entirely. It has gone too far to talk about talking about it less.

      Reply ↓
    6. JMC*

      I wonder if they would provide a counter balance for a vegan who I promise would be just as annoying with THEIR diet choice.

      Reply ↓
    7. Observer*

      Thanks for joining in.

      I don’t think that the MLM issue is the most important thing here. What is hugely important is that what they are saying and doing is a real problem. Just all of the “conversations” and constant talk is a problem. The issue of supplements is another whole level of not ok. Even if they are not selling the supplements directly, pushing people to take / buy supplements when you are not their medical provider is waaaay out of line.

      we should avoid talking too much about it at work especially in a public setting

      I’m glad that you are taking this all on board, but to be honest, this is too soft for the current situation. Casey needs to completely cut it out. No evangelizing, no judgment, no starting in on this to every coworker who starts with the company, no “pulling people into discussions”, etc. *All* of it needs to stop. Completely.

      Reply ↓
  47. Elle*

    Things are feeling very medieval, with the recent plague and oligarchy and discussing limiting our diets so as to be more virtuous.

    Frankly, I hate giving attention to diet people, since it can give the impression that one is, well, impressionable. I go with some variation on “That’s not for me/I don’t believe in that kind of thing” when people really want to push. Otherwise, the only thing you’re getting from me in response to your claim that you haven’t eaten in whatever hours is a surprised “oh! OK” and a dearth of follow-up questions.

    Reply ↓
    1. Bird names*

      Really like answers like “That’s not for me/I don’t believe in that kind of thing”, because it gives them so little to work with.

      Reply ↓
  49. Clisby*

    And don’t get me started on the times the store only has the Cheetos puffs or the Flaming Cheetos. I want the original Crunchy Cheetos and nothing else will do!

    Reply ↓
  50. JMC*

    Count me in as one of the people who want constant daylight saving time. I hate standard time, especially during this part of the year. I just want to lay in bed all the time. I wish they would abolish standard time already!

    Reply ↓
    1. Jessica T.*

      Same! I’m absolutely that person. I try not to evangelize at work to the point of being annoying. More light at the end of the day!

      Reply ↓
    1. HannahS*

      That’s really interesting, though! Could you maybe share what other people did or said that helped you stop doing what Casey is doing?

      Reply ↓
  52. Extremely bored expression*

    Channeling Cold Comfort Farm’s heroine, Flora Poste, dealing with Mr. Mybug, extremely bored expression on one’s face:

    “I’m afraid I’m not very interested.”

    Reply ↓
    1. Sister George Michael*

      For a while my mom and I would quote the dad in Cheaper By The Dozen, trying to curate conversation with his teenagers at dinner: ‘not of general interest.’

      Reply ↓
  53. DST Zealot*

    So I actually decided not to switch from daylight savings time this year. I live alone and generally don’t have evening commitments so it made sense for me. I get up at 4am instead of 5am to get my workout in before work, wrap up work at 4pm instead of 5pm, and go to bed at 8:30 instead of 9:30. It’s great so far– doesn’t feel like it gets dark quite so early.

    But you know what I haven’t done? Told my coworkers or tried to get anyone else to do it. In part because I know it wouldn’t work for other people. But also because I don’t want to be known as the weirdo proselytizing about DST. I swear, some people (like Keto dude) could stand to be just a bit more self conscious.

    Reply ↓
  54. Seven If You Count Bad John*

    If I got accosted my *first day* at work by a keto evangelist about the contents of my lunch pail, I would have some Feelings about my new workplace, and those Feelings would include “good thing my resume is still up to date”

    Reply ↓
  55. Observer*

    How do I politely let Casey know that their personal passions need to be saved for time/space outside of the workplace?

    Stop worrying about being polite. You are the manager and *your job* is to *manage*. And sometimes that includes explicitly and clearly *telling* people how to behave.

    You need to *explicitly* lay out what Casey needs to stop doing.

    ** Stop “telling” new hires about the Keto diet and “offering” to sell the supplements.

    ** Stop the comments on the foods they don’t eat / don’t approve of.

    ** Stop trying to pull people into “conversations” about Keto.

    ** Do NOT replace any of these with speeches, diatribes, rants, or “conversations” about “healthy diet”, “optimal weight”, “good / bad foods”, “food cravings” or anything else diet and food related.

    ** Do not make comments about anyone else’s health, diet, weight, body and / or specific food choices.

    Then treat this a performance issue like any other.

    And let people know *explicitly* that they should shut Casey down when they start this stuff – especially if it’s with a new hire or someone low enough in the hierarchy that they may feel like they can’t push back.

    Reply ↓
  56. ReallyBadPerson*

    This is essentially a religion for Casey, and you should shut it down as if she were handing out tracts telling coworkers they were going to hell.

    “Ooh, I’m going to press mute on the diet talk, Casey. We don’t allow that or MLM sales in the office. Can you check with Darla about her progress on the Pensky project?”

    There is no reason at all to tiptoe around this annoying, distracting, and possibly dangerous nonsense.

    Reply ↓
  57. Chill Kat*

    What’s really annoying about Casey is that there is no way to actually engage her in conversation about food since she’s so passionate about her way of eating, and thinks there is no other way for people to eat. I follow the opposite way of eating as Casey – whole food plant-based with a large emphasis on veggies. Tons of awesome carbs in my beans, whole grains, and fruits! It makes me feel fabulous and keeps me very healthy. If she ever tried to give me her weird nutrition advice, she would get a whole lot of advice thrown back at her since I don’t suffer keto fools.

    Reply ↓

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