update: my new boss treats me like his assistant … which isn’t what I was hired for

by Alison Green on January 9, 2025

Remember the letter-writer whose new boss treated her like his assistant … which isn’t what she was hired for? Here’s the update.

I did follow your advice and speak with HR. They listened to my concerns and to their credit they launched an “investigation.” I know that at some point they found my claims credible and spoke to my boss, “Kevin,” because he did come back to me and say that going forward he would handle his own expense report submissions and wanted me to take on more substantive projects. However, this was short lived. Once he felt the attention of HR removed, he immediately returned to his old tactics of treating me like an admin, refusing to give me substantive projects and resorting to expense submissions, calendar management, and other similar tasks.

I once again attempted to speak with HR after he went back to his old ways but they were far less helpful this time and just said that I need to work on communicating with my boss. We then had mid-year performance reviews and while I received exceedingly positive reviews from my peers and stakeholders, Kevin gave me a negative rating. His negative feedback was regarding his complaints about my expense submissions not being timely and my securing restaurant reservations not booked far enough in advance. (I wish I was kidding). I was warned by my predecessor Melissa that he had done this to her before and she had to show HR that she was indeed a high performer and was qualified for the high rating. I did the same and was able to speak to my abilities and performance.

Kevin then attempted to put me on a “Performance Improvement Plan” but HR told him he could not do so since I was meeting expectations and my reviews were very positive. He then attempted to skirt this by putting me on an “informal coaching plan,” resulting in him scheduling meetings three times a week to provide “feedback” on where he thought I could improve. The feedback was largely centered on expense submissions, booking travel, and reserving conference rooms. One of his complaints or “feedback” to me was that I booked conference rooms for meetings that he had trouble finding. I pointed out that the floor of our building has multiple maps that show where each conference room is located. He said he didn’t have time to consult a map and my doing so resulted in him being late to meetings. Trust me, this was not why he was late.

I should also add, if it’s not already clear, Kevin has a widely known terrible reputation at the company. His team has by far the largest turnover compared to any of his peers and within the past year prior to me 50% of his team have left with many more planning to leave soon. In his mid-year reviews and in team and company surveys, this has been expressed by multiple team members, but management seems unwilling or unable to address this situation.

This process ultimately proved unbearable so I made the decision to leave. I know it’s for the best and am grateful to not have to deal with Kevin anymore. I did complete my exit survey and exit interview and, while I’m not confident my feedback will be taken seriously, I did state that whoever they hire to replace me should have an administrative assistant background. I’ve learned that in my absence he spoke to his boss’s chief of staff with a request for her to submit his expenses on his behalf and assist with administrative requests. It’s to be determined on how that’s worked out for him.

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{ 175 comments }

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  1. Sovreignry*

    I’m sorry, he went to his bosses Chief of Staff? Does he not know what people’s job titles actually mean?

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      2. Le Sigh*

        I’d really like to know myself — my eyes bugged out at that. If he had done that to the Chief of Staff in my office, I would be grabbing popcorn.

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        1. Elizabeth West*

          Right?!?!?!?!

          I’m imagining being outside the boss’s door, and the CoS goes in, and then a couple of minutes later, hearing a thundering, “OH HELL NO!”

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        3. LaminarFlow*

          Omg same! I had to read it a couple of times because….who approaches their manager’s chief of staff to submit expense reports that they should be doing for themselves?!

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      3. Bruce*

        Flashing back to 35 years ago when our VP was sidelined for the relentless sexual harassment of the much younger admin who worked for him, rather than firing him outright they assigned him to time filling “special projects” and put him under the watch of a much older, very formidable senior admin who would not suffer fools at all. He did not stick around. I’m sorry I don’t know what compensation was given to his victim, she went away and I hope she got a good payout. That company was toxic in many ways but I believe they tried to do the right thing in this case, I just wish they had booted him out on his ass in a public way.

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      3. Sam I Am*

        The letter says “with a request for her [CoS] to submit his expenses on his behalf ” so we know it’s a woman! Kevin is truly a delight.

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      4. Typity*

        Chief of staff is female “…a request for her to submit his expenses.”

        Kevin finds it convenient to pretend all his female co-workers are all admins and treat them accordingly. Yet he’s still working there, and will no doubt go on doing exactly what he’s been doing.

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        1. goddessoftransitory*

          OMG, this. As long as Kevin keeps his job he is simply going to dismiss any and all corrections, dismissal of his “concerns” and outright rage directed his way as no big deal. The Kevins of the world simply cannot process that they do anything wrong until security is escorting them out.

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      5. LoraC*

        I wonder if that could fall under sex discrimination? If Kevin’s only doing this to women and men, isn’t that something the company is legally obligated to address?

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          1. Crooked Bird*

            In the supposedly progressive small organization I still work for part-time, a friend of mine was on the board & was asked to take minutes. She showed reluctance and this very nice older man whose daughter is also a friend of mine said, “But you’re the only woman,” in a confused sort of tone. My friend is not very good at saying no, but she did manage to say “Well, I’m terrible at taking notes, so if I take them the minutes are going to be terrible.”

            Someone else took the damn minutes.

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      1. Bitte Meddler*

        OP says in her first letter that the company doesn’t allow admins. So Kevin hires women for a “project manager” position to get around the “no admins” rule, and then only assigns them admin work.

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        2. goddessoftransitory*

          That explains that–my first reaction was just HIRE an actual admin, Kevin. Although the only people I would want condemned to such a fate wouldn’t be taking that job.

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      2. Kevin Sours*

        No. In the original letter it states that people at his level don’t get one and rather than deal with that he fraudulently hires women and makes them do it. And the company looks the other way when he does.

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      3. Catwhisperer*

        nope, the original letter notes that he comes from an environment where he had one but since it’s not the norm for the company he has decided to repurpose the program manager role to do admin work

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        1. GammaGirl1908*

          Especially because he clearly thinks he’s above submitting his own expense reports and other admin-type tasks that he hates. That’s anyone else’s job, as long as they have two X chromosomes.

          Any time you change jobs, you find out what they do differently at the new place. Sometimes they have an elaborate time sheet process, and now you have to account for every half-hour when before you just checked whether you worked or took PTO that day. Sometimes you now can just give your receipts to an admin and s/he will take care of expensing, when before you had to do an elaborate report and chase down every penny. Sometimes they don’t care if you go home in the middle of the day, when before you had to sneak out when no one was looking and leave a decoy purse and coat on your chair.

          So this guy got to this job and realized the thing that was different was there was no admin support, and he thinks admin tasks — even his own — are beneath him. He was like, “Well, THAT won’t do! Obviously I am too cool and important to file my own paperwork, so I’ll have to make sure there’s a woman doing that for me.”

          Ugh. I don’t know this guy and I want to stick out my foot and trip him. I hope Ms. Chief of Staff hands him his arse, and quickly.

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    5. goddessoftransitory*

      He apparently just overrides it with “WOMAN=WORK FOR ME” and blinks in confusion as he is violently corrected.

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    6. beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox*

      I had to reread that part to make sure I hadn’t imagined it. What on earth.

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    1. hypoglycemic rage*

      that is SUCH a good show! well, the first season was better than the second, IMO, but I still think about the last few scenes in the series finale from time to time (it was an excellent ending).

      sorry. ahem.

      I am also wondering how this plays out for kevin!

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      2. Jezebel*

        Funny you say that – I thought it was a great premise but found the higher proportion of the sitcomy scenes in the beginning really annoying, as the show within the show was not ever something I would have wanted to watch. I liked it much more the more it went on, as it switched to a higher proportion of the darker, realistic scenes.

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    3. I Have RBF*

      Kevin clearly needs repeated kicking in someplace sensitive, until he learns to do his own damned expense reports and meeting scheduling. Fucking male chauvenist pig is what I would call him.

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  3. Pastor Petty Labelle*

    Good for you. Kevin clearly wants an EA and by gum and by golly he is going to have one.

    Honestly this is on the company. They know what he is like and what he does, but choose to ignore it. they don’t care about the turnover or anything else as long as they don’t have to actually manage Kevin. Either he is a unicorn rockstar that is literally irreplaceable or the place is badly managed. Either way, you are much better off out of there.

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    1. SHEILA, the co-host*

      Exactly what I was about to write.

      Kevin wants an assistant and even if he isn’t allowed one, will shoehorn someone into the position. And he’s done this multiple times and HR knows, so things are not going to change (unless the Chief of Staff has enough sway with the boss to get him to finally put a stop to things).

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      1. goddessoftransitory*

        And he is costing the company a fortune in turnover, training and dealing with the complaints he generates!

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    2. slr*

      Kevin doesn’t want an EA, he wants a old-school secretary. If I ever complained to any of the EAs that I’ve worked that I couldn’t find the conference room they booked for me, they would have torn me a new one. And rightly so!

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      1. RVA Cat*

        Kevin wants his father or grandfather’s job straight out of Mad Men. Does he also expect alcohol and cigarettes in the office?

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        1. PropJoe*

          Don’t forget the tackling women & pulling up their skirts to see what color underbritches they’re wearing. Or the abandoning dogs. Or the pervasive littering. Or any of the umpteen other things that made me glad to miss out on that setting.

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          1. goddessoftransitory*

            I used to post on the old Television Without Pity site and the boards went NUTS, NUTS at that littering scene!

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      2. hbc*

        I’m simply astonished that he actually went for “I don’t know where the rooms are on the floor where I work every day and can’t read basic diagrams” as an excuse. Like, I can imagine someone having real trouble with orientation, but it’s the kind of thing that most people try to hide or try mightily to not make into an issue for others.

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        1. Sovreignry*

          Did he want her to tell him, “First right, second left, third door on the right?” At some point you need to figure out how to get from A to B.

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          1. Jam on Toast*

            Or for OP to answer “B103? Yeah, you go down the hall, turn left and then take a flying leap out the 14th floor window!”

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          2. Jules the 3rd*

            What he wanted was for her to always book his preferred conference room.
            Which would, in most places, require her to book the room far in advance.
            Probably in advance of identifying the need for a meeting (ie, he expects her to reserve some room 9 – 5, M-F, at least a month in advance, then cancel when he doesn’t use it. Or just not cancel, he doesn’t care).

            I wonder what this guy has on the CEO that he’s being kept around, because that trick will cause problems for other managers, and I bet he’s gotten someone to do it in the past.

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          3. Kisa*

            He wanted her to walk him personally to the room, in a manner which made it clear that HE was leading her. And while at it, she would prep him in detail what to do to impress everyone with his knowledge. And take his cloak.

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          2. Jules the 3rd*

            He’s trying to manipulate her into doing what he wants (reserving some specific room 9-5, M-F) without saying it explicitly because I’m certain it’s against the rules. This way he can blame the person booking if the use is challenged.

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          3. Jojo*

            Weaponized incompetence. He probably wanted her to schedule them in one specific room that he liked and didn’t have to walk very far to get to. I hate to think his jerk might have a wife. Yikes.

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            1. Hey, I'm wohrkin heah*

              I worked with the High Priestess of Weaponized Incompetence. She “couldn’t” [despite being offered help to learn upmteen times] add paper to the copier, use G calendar or even save documents to her drive. We lost 10 years of data bc she saved everything to her desktop and got a virus.
              I’d love to see her and Kevin in a room together- during summer with the AC off. Fast forward to the double wide ambulance for heat prostration.

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          4. MigraineMonth*

            I get turned around very easily, which can be a nightmare in certain very large or very “every part of this building looks exactly the same” campuses. I either leave early or walk with someone who knows where they’re going; I don’t insist the meeting be relocated.

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          5. GammaGirl1908*

            I assume he thinks the flex is some combination of :

            *I’m so critical to this **really** important and all-consuming thing the business does that I can’t be bothered with details of any kind, and need someone else to manage even minor details for me;

            *I always want my favorites and only my favorites, and I’m important enough to force that to happen; and

            *Some woman needs to take care of me all the way down to the nitty-gritty, because don’t they know they are inferior and taking care of men — or, at least, THIS man –is their place?

            All of which, ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

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        3. boof*

          I can only guess kevin really wanted LW to reserve at least 3 conferences rooms adjacent to his office for express purposes of maybe kevin has a meeting, forever. And then put a flashing light over whichever one was currently in use prior to his arrival.

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        4. Ama*

          I would have been tempted to give him extremely hand holding directions (literally starting “stand up from your desk, turn (left/right) and walk to the door”) just to see what he blamed his lateness on after that. Because it’s not that he can’t find the conference room it’s that he wants to blame OP for being late.

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      3. Snarkus Aurelius*

        When I worked at a trade association, I once caught a glimpse of the briefing book that Board Chair’s EA put together for him and OH MY GOD!

        He was in DC for quarterly meetings, and he had a daily itinerary down to the minute. Then she had directions for him on where to go. As in, walk off the airplane and look for the exit. Go to the taxi stand on the right and hail a cab. Give the cabbie this address for the hotel. Walk down M Street. Turn left on 23rd Street. Details like that. Her phone numbers were on every page so he could call her if he had questions.

        Keep in mind this guy had been coming to DC four times a year, every year for at least a decade.

        This guy was a CFO of a Fortune 100 company that everyone has heard of and bought something from at least once in their lives, and I thought he was the biggest dumbshit ever. I would hate to be his wife.

        That woman wasn’t his EA; she was his full on babysitter.

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        1. Susan*

          I once worked with someone who was super bad with directions and couldn’t even get around his own town without directions. But he owned up to it and totally knew it was on him. He had many other amazing qualities. Maybe this CEO was like him. Kevin, on the other hand, sounds like a dud.

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    4. Generic Name*

      I agree. This is a completely predictable outcome. But I’m sure management was shocked when OP submitted their notice.

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    5. HonorBox*

      I was waiting patiently for the second visit to HR bringing some resolution to Kevin’s antics, but them suggesting LW work it out with her boss is ridiculous. What’s to work out, HR? He’s circumventing your rules, acting in bad faith, and is just an ass. Maybe he’s a rockstar unicorn who is untouchable. Or maybe his antics will come back to bite him. I can only hope for the latter. He just needs to work at a place where he has an assigned EA. And I really hope that he’s nicer to that EA than he appears to have been to LW and her predecessor.

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    6. Hoya Lawya*

      If he is a “unicorn rockstar that is literally irreplaceable,” then the company should hire an executive assistant for him, or at least one that partly covers him.

      Also, industry standards are a thing. It may be that similarly-situated executives at other companies have personal assistants.

      The company is playing a role in this fiasco, and sanctimonious complaints about “he’s too high and mighty to do his own expense reports” fail to address that point.

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  4. mango chiffon*

    Ugh so sorry you had to deal with this, but glad you are out. I can’t believe that companies would keep someone on like Kevin. I hope the chief of staff puts him in his place.

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  5. Jackie Daytona, Regular Human Bartender*

    His team has by far the largest turnover compared to any of his peers…

    I’m always amazed when this is allowed to slide. Doesn’t squandering talent get expensive for the employer?

    Good for you, OP, standing up for yourself. You took the right steps. The company sucks though, which wasn’t something you could do anything about other than exit.

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    1. TrackingCookieMonster*

      Sometimes you’d be surprised how far up a company ladder managers are willing to eat some profit losses if it means not having to put in real effort to deal with problems.

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      1. Box of Kittens*

        I also think often it is less about dealing with the problem and more about people never being able to admit there is a problem. No one wants to be blamed for problems by management so they make it much worse by ignoring it altogether. Very sustainable and healthy practices in business and in life, yay

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      2. Alton Brown's Evil Twin*

        Whoever wanted to hire Kevin originally doesn’t want to bear the blame for making a bad decision.

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        1. MigraineMonth*

          Why is this so hard to admit? Particularly in a situation like this, where a lot of the issue seems to be that he couldn’t adapt to the new company’s no-assistants culture, can’t you just say “we were working on limited information when we made the hiring decision, now that we have more we’ve made a different decision”?

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    2. Sloanicota*

      In this case it’s clear HR doesn’t care much – the prior person having to argue to get their reviews sorted out, followed by the incumbent having to do the exact same thing, should have tipped them off if they cared at all. They have their head in the sand here. My guess, Kevin has “valuable relationships” or somehow brings money in, or is believed to be the kind of person who could bring money in, which is worth more than happy staff. Been there.

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    3. Ama*

      The two Kevins I have encountered in my career were very good at managing up (including one who outright lied to their boss about the status of projects they had mismanaged).

      Both were taken down when they messed with a long tenured admin (different person each time) whose C-level boss knew they wouldn’t be raising the problem if it wasn’t a real problem and started an investigation. (Although in both cases they were just reassigned to roles where they had no people management instead of fired like they should have been, but at least they weren’t making everyone below them miserable any longer. )

      Reply ↓
  6. CeeDoo*

    That makes me wonder if the person he is hiring gets paid Project Manager money or Executive Assistant money. If nothing else, it seems like HR would reprimand him for costing the company so much money for an EA that’s not supposed to be an EA. (In no way would the salary make up for the disrespect, but I wondered.)

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    1. boof*

      I thought EAs were relativley well paid? Being EA for Kevin certainly would have to be on the upper end of the EA salary range XD

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      1. Strive to Excel*

        Around here, depending on which board I’m checking, there’s a $20k difference where project managers are paid higher. The EA salary is nothing to sneeze at either.

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        1. boof*

          Hm. Well I’m sure somewhere out there there’s an EA who wouldn’t mind being a PM on paper only if the company really is ok with going that route; fire kevin or hire an actual EA who likes being an EA as Kevin’s “PM”

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          1. Goldenrod*

            Exactly, this. I’m an EA and I like being an EA. So that’s the first problem – if it were an EA position, that person wouldn’t mind doing EA work. (Also, for the record, I’m extremely well-paid, although this can vary, obviously.)

            The other problem, though, is that Kevin sounds like an ass. I suspect that even if his expectations for the role were better aligned, he’d still be an ass.

            As an EA, I’ve supported people like Kevin – people who blame you for not being able to read a map, for example, or who blame you for their own lateness – and it sucks. He just sucks.

            I suspect no one would enjoy working for Kevin, in any capacity.

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            1. Strive to Excel*

              I’ve definitely been in a few buildings with abjectly terrible internal maps. Mostly on my old college campus. But it’s still not the EA’s fault if the building is confusing!

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              1. fhqwhgads*

                Plus, he’s worked there longer than she has…so if she doesn’t find things hard to get to, he’s got way less reason to.

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            2. boof*

              “Kevin sounds like an ass” yes, that’s why I imagine even for someone who was happy to be an EA in general it’d have to be a high salary to put up with it – dunno if 20K is enough extra :P

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          2. AcademiaNut*

            The problem is the LW was *also* doing all the project manager duties (and doing them well). Kevin really wants an old school secretary, who does all his admin stuff and makes him coffee, but he can’t hire one. So he tacks the work onto the project manager role he is allowed to hire for. Hiring an EA and dumping full project manager duties on them would be pretty mean to the hire.

            What they need to do is hire a man for the job, and watch Kevin’s tiny little brain explode. Or, as I suspect, see him look for the nearest woman shaped object to try to dump the work on.

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      2. Targaryen*

        Pfft, nope. We’re still “the help” and get paid accordingly.

        If we were a profession associated with college educated white boys? We’d be called business partners.

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    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      I’m hearing this in the voice of whichever character says it in Spinal Tap (I think it’s Michael McKean’s character) and even though I know his isn’t a real British accent, it amuses me very much.

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  8. Murr*

    I would’ve been so tempted to book him travel to the wrong city. Sorry, I’m not a EA, I have no experience with making travel arrangements.

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    1. Strive to Excel*

      Who was the one LW who sent their executive to the wrong country by accident? I’d have done that.

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      1. Lady Lessa*

        Yes, that was to Naples. It should have been Florida, but he ended up in Italy. I think it was from Canada, so both would have been international travel.

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    2. Bronze Betty*

      Ooh, I love this. Only OP would have to do it right before she left, since Kevin would most certainly cite this in her evaluation.

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    3. pally*

      I would be the author of the first expense report that resulted in the employEE (namely Kevin) having to pay the employER for the expenses incurred.

      Yep! I’m that good at accounting.
      The Kevins of the world best not try me.

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  9. DisneyChannelThis*

    This company is the real failure. Who allows this to keep happening?? I feel awful for the LW , I hope it works out for them.

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      1. Jackalope*

        It really is, and it’s so stark in this example. People talk above about how no one wants to deal with the problem, or recognize that it exists as a problem, and that’s true to a certain extent. But it’s also that in the minds of many people, “random white dude” has so much more value than “person who isn’t white or a dude” that the actual, real costs of losing all of the staff they’re losing don’t weigh as heavily as, “But what if we made Kevin mad/lost Kevin/had to actually enforce boundaries w/ Kevin/etc.?” I find it unlikely that the amount of money/expertise that he’s bringing in outweighs the amount of money he’s lost them, both in direct costs (having people leave the company and needing to retrain new people) and indirect (those people who leave the company and tell their new employers not to work with original company A because they know how awful Kevin is, for example).

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        1. Snarkus Aurelius*

          This was Matt Lauer’s argument to NBC for why they couldn’t fire him. Then they did, and the sky never fell. Go figure!

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      2. JSPA*

        They may well have promised him a pseudo admin, and thought they’d put up enough flashing lights to clue in the top applicants that “the actual job doesn’t match the job description.” The LW thought they were getting a warning that they’d have to fight to have project manager duties, but another reading is that boss and company were scratching their heads that she didn’t understand this was to be 80% admin duties at 100% project manager salary.

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    2. WoodswomanWrites*

      Yes, there’s a particular form of irritation I feel when reading letters like this where management just goes through the motions.

      The letter writer legitimately complains, HR agrees, HR talks to the terrible manager, and leadership does zero. They know there’s a problem, recommend a solution, and shrug and do no follow up. LW, I hope you’re out of that mess and in a great role soon!

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  10. TeapotNinja*

    I wonder how Kevin would handle his non-executive assistant employee flat out refusing to do admin work they weren’t hired to do?

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    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      He put tried to put OP on PIP when she (I’m pretty sure) DID everything he asked. And when it was shown by HR that OP was doing her job on top of his BS, he wasted her time with an hour meeting every other day to waste her time and convince her there are five lights.

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    2. 2 and a Possible*

      Per the letter, LW went back a second time “with HR after he went back to his old ways but they were far less helpful this time and just said that I need to work on communicating with my boss. ”

      I could easily see that person being fired by this organization.

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    3. Mad Harry Crewe*

      Well, based on the letter, he’d handle it by giving them a terrible review, attempting to put them on a PIP, and then “coaching” them about only scheduling the most convenient of conference rooms and booking the most pleasant of restaurants.

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  11. Binky*

    One of the many things I don’t understand is, if you’re willing to keep a Kevin who’s so obviously making a hash of the job, why not just let him have an EA so you can stop the bait and switch drama?

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      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        Honestly, maybe. If you were hired to be an EA, if you were not lied to, then handholding could be part of the job. Like, “note to self, never shedule conference room B or F because he can’t find them. Never schedule back to back unless. Always make three copies of expense submissions and email one as well.”
        A skilled EA could navigate this guy. A person constantly being told, do this and then I’ll gie you that is not in the mindset, nor has the skillset for this.

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    2. Sam I Am*

      This. All the turnover (and lost productivity of a PM not PM-ing) is surely costing them more money than just hiring an EA for Kevin would.

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      1. Wilbur*

        I’d be more concerned that his pattern of hiring female project managers and trying to strong arm them into being admins would be setting the company up for a lawsuit. Why reward a poor performer?

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    3. SHEILA, the co-host*

      Because then someone else at Kevin’s level might want an EA. And while one EA might be cost effective, adding a bunch of them might be.

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      2. Selina Luna*

        Additionally, the fact that Kevin IS able to get a project manager implies that there is a need for a PM in his department. Indeed, OP seems to have done at least some PM stuff as well as the EA stuff that wasn’t her job. So they would have to hire a project manager AND an executive assistant.

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        1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

          I wonder. He wants an EA. The company has a blanket rule, no EAs.
          What can my department have? Project manager, TSP manager, other position.
          Oh, well in that case, I need a project manager.
          You have to justify that.
          OK, how do I justify that.
          Write a list of what that person in that position does and why you need a dedicated person do that.
          Oh, great. Here you go.

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      3. Hoya Lawya*

        Because then someone else at Kevin’s level might want an EA. And while one EA might be cost effective, adding a bunch of them might be.

        So have one PA split duties among several executives. Problem solved.

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    4. Fotze*

      Sure. But does Kevin deserve an EA? Doesn’t sound like he’s the first manager you’d put on the list to start making exceptions for.

      Reply ↓
    5. Nonsense*

      Because no decent EA would put up with that level of entitlement and attitude, and a bad EA still doesn’t deserve having to work for Kevin. And also, Kevin doesn’t have the kind of job that needs an EA. He just doesn’t want to do the menial work.

      Reply ↓
  12. Falling Diphthong*

    This has been expressed by multiple team members, but management seems unwilling or unable to address this situation.

    This right here is the part that matters. OP can be righter than right and Keven wronger than wrong, and if no one with the power to do something about it cares, then it will go on forever. (Or until a rampaging llama herd defenestrates Kevin, but do not wait around hoping to manifest that llama herd, the way Kevin is trying to manifest an admin to book him easy to find conference rooms.)

    Reply ↓
  13. Dawn*

    Bear in mind that this is to some extent me being spiteful, but I’d definitely leave the company a Glassdoor review outlining all of this so that any future potential hires can see it.

    Reply ↓
    1. Strive to Excel*

      I don’t think it’s spiteful, and I would absolutely leave the review being as factual as possible.

      Reply ↓
  14. Targaryen*

    I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. This also happens very frequently to admins who want to rise up in their careers, and I’m sorry you’re now a part of our group despite not even choosing to be.

    Reply ↓
  15. Fotze*

    I’m curious what the role pays. I mean, that is one expensive freaking Admin if they’re being paid a Project Manager’s salary… I would think that alone would be something HR would care about.

    Also, continually amused at how the Kevins of the world can be so incompetent and jerk-y and do just fine in life, while the rest of us get PIPs for sneezing wrong. I certainly am jaded, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to throat punch Kevin.

    Reply ↓
    1. Slow Gin Lizz*

      Agreed. Or biting him in the face. (Hat-tip to Stephen Colbert, who made this joke about monkeys doing that to an orchestra conductor. As a classical musician, I want to make this joke about all bad leaders henceforth, musical or not.)

      Reply ↓
    2. Parenthesis Guy*

      HR does care, as they made sure this person could be a PM and told Kevin he needed to let her work as a PM.

      But how much can HR really do about the situation? I mean, they can’t make Kevin give her PM work. If they can’t fire Kevin or the PM, which they probably can’t, their hands are probably tied.

      Reply ↓
      1. saskia*

        They can discuss this with Kevin’s boss, for one thing. They have exit survey data and consistent feedback about his issues. One of Kevin’s yearly goals can be tied to how many successful projects his PM presides over (or whatever). Goals/KPI process usually involves HR. There’s plenty they can do. They can also be way more up front during hiring! HR misrepresented the job completely.

        Reply ↓
        1. Leo McGarry*

          HR may not have misrepresented. Kevin requested a PM because he knew he could get that and not an EA.

          I think the conversation with Kevin’s boss (and maybe even higher, if applicable) should showcase the incredible amount of turnover in his department. We always read on AAM that if someone can show the work impact of someone’s actions, that’s a great thing. So HR lead should show Kevin’s boss the amount of additional time spent on hiring, onboarding, exit interviews, etc. in Kevin’s department versus other departments. That is costing the company money.

          Reply ↓
      2. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        “I mean, they can’t make Kevin give her PM work.”
        Is this true?
        If Kevin had three engineers and each engineer was supposed to engineer and X, he can just have engineer 3 submit reports and pick up lunch?
        I think not allowing a manager to waste the salary of a skilled employee is under their purview. Not to mention the optics of every other project manager being a man and OP being a woman who is refused opportunities. I think this is an HR nightmare.

        Reply ↓
      3. MigraineMonth*

        An HR with upper management support could do a LOT.

        HR could insist that they’re copied on every email and sit in on every meeting between Kevin and OP. They could send Kevin for additional management or anti-discrimination training. They could launch additional investigations, and probably insist on a leave of absence during those investigations.

        Reply ↓
        1. Strive to Excel*

          Except HR already knows what’s going on. They don’t need to investigate, or train him. Upper management needs to step in and tell Kevin to knock it off, and keep telling him until Kevin either gets the picture or is fired for gross insubordination.

          Reply ↓
    3. CommanderBanana*

      Also, continually amused at how the Kevins of the world can be so incompetent and jerk-y and do just fine in life, while the rest of us get PIPs for sneezing wrong.

      ^^ this.

      Reply ↓
  16. Alex*

    Aw, poor Kevin! Obviously submitting expense reports and making reservations is LADY WORK! How is he supposed to do that himself? His d**k is in the way!

    Reply ↓
    2. cat herder*

      ^YESSS omg lol. I spit out my coffee on that one, pure gold!

      As a career EA, it is a known fact that I am only able to complete my LADY WORK because I don’t have a d**k getting in my way. OBVI

      Reply ↓
      1. Strive to Excel*

        Well of course, all of us ladies know it’s our lilting voices and fluttering eyelashes that get things done, especially when doing those nasty expense reports. If a man gets near them they get all feral. You have to tame them with a virgin, like unicorns.

        Reply ↓
  17. Anony*

    I worked for a Kevin. I suspect that I was hired as a PM because it had been observed that there were no women in senior level positions in my department. The company culture couldn’t handle women in management roles, not even project manager. (Of 100 managers in the department, the three woman “managers” had no subordinates.) I was PMI-certified but relegated to scheduling meetings to be run by men, writing minutes, and making “artifacts” (documentation of proper project planning and communication.) The documents were snowjobs to hide the fact that the actual managers of the projects were just winging it. I left because other women PMs who were not allowed to actually manage the projects assigned to them were fired when their projects failed. I have to wonder if this was OP’s situation.

    Reply ↓
  18. London Calling*

    Kevi sounds a complete ass who’d be very much at home in the 1970s. I sincerely hope that the turnover in his dept is ringing HR chimes and that questions are being asked as to WHY so many of his people leave.

    Reply ↓
  19. Lana Kane*

    “I’ve learned that in my absence he spoke to his boss’s chief of staff with a request for her to submit his expenses on his behalf and assist with administrative requests. It’s to be determined on how that’s worked out for him.”

    I’d like to request an update if you find out!

    Reply ↓
    1. Leo McGarry*

      My title is not Chief of Staff, but that is basically my job. If someone came to me to get me to submit their expenses once, I might be willing to help them out. Like they’re working on two major projects, will be traveling for work a bunch, and had some emergency issue come up. But knowing our team, there would be context provided. If someone came to me with the expectation that I’d just do it for them because they didn’t want to or couldn’t figure it out, you can bet I’d be walking into the CEO’s office and telling them that we have a problem. He also would not be pleased with the situation.

      Reply ↓
  20. saskia*

    Sounds like a spoiled, sexist, ineffective employee. It’s good you left, but what the heck…

    ” He also announced at our most recent team meeting that he had hired a person with a project management background to help with projects so I’m suspecting that he truly has no intention of me taking on the role I was hired for.”

    ^ I wonder whatever happened to the PM Kevin hired that was mentioned in the previous letter. Are they still around?

    Reply ↓
    1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

      Kevin’s mini-me is doing just fine in a company that props up adequate men at the expense of women.
      I imagine his less knowledgeable hire is given training and support while doing the work he was hired to do instead being forced into a lesser position. Every success of Kevin’s mini me is a success for Kevin, so his plan was to have OP do the work and he and male minion did the modern equivalent of martini lunches and golf.

      Reply ↓
  21. HCworker*

    What cracks me up is he doesn’t have time to look at a map on the way to a meeting, but he has time for three performance improvement meetings per week just to flex his authority on the LW.

    Reply ↓
  22. Susan*

    I might roll with some of these because sometimes I like having mundane tasks to break up the harder ones. But the complaint about booking meeting rooms that he couldn’t find takes the cake! It is so weird that I am positive it is true. If he gets lost that easily, no wonder he has trouble with so many other tasks he was handing over.

    Reply ↓
  23. Elbe*

    So it turns out that everyone was right after the first letter – Kevin IS the worst.

    It doesn’t sound like HR is completely useless in this company, so it makes me wonder how this guy still has a job. If he’s blaming his assistant’s room selection for his lateness, I can’t imagine he’s doing a very good work. How is this guy allowed to get away with this while also driving so many staff members to quit? Is he blackmailing someone?

    Reply ↓
  24. DJ*

    Kevin sounds terrible. And good his staff are leaving but bad they have to.
    However this pushing admin onto a skilled and qualified woman is common due to the lack of value placed on actual admin staff meaning those position don’t get filled (or created)

    Reply ↓
  26. Sparrow*

    Oh my god, hearing about Kevin is like seeing an alternate timeline where the LW who wanted to “borrow” the CEO’s assistant never realized they were in the wrong and just kept on behaving like that forever. Shout-out to that LW who was humble enough to realize they were in the wrong, and boo to Kevin for never doing the same.

    Reply ↓
  27. Sorceress17*

    I write this knowing women in my family do not suffer fools and I am also a cynical smart-@$$ with no more fracks to give: if I was in this situation and Boss told me he couldn’t be on time for meetings because he didn’t know where meeting rooms were, I would go to Boss’s office a few minutes before the meeting and lead him by the hand to meeting room. I would loudly navigate the experience with the most insufferable, condescending tone possible, including asking if he needs to use the potty before the meeting. Once he was safely in the meeting room, I would tell him he can call me if he thinks he can’t find his way back to his office on his own. Then I would leave and go back to my desk.

    If I got fired, it would be worth it.

    Reply ↓
    1. Head Sheep Counter*

      Oh god I wish we could all get away with something like this for whatever condescending nonsense we are facing. I’m afraid in this case… he might actually like it…

      Reply ↓
  28. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    I am a Senior Level HR Professional. A General Manager at one of our Partner Companies thought it would be fun to try to treat me like his Admin, and asked me to perform some administrative tasks for him he was perfectly able to perform for himself (booking conference rooms, scheduling meetings, etc.), because HE didn’t feel like doing them. He was quickly issued a FAFO by me, and whined to my Manager, the CEO. She also put the smack down on him, and told him if he couldn’t perform these tasks for himself, she would find someone who could and replace him with that person. He immediately stopped his nonsense, but hasn’t stopped complaining about it since.

    Nothing but respect for the Admins in the world, most companies cannot function without them. But I am a Director and schedule my own meetings and conference rooms – Dude you can too.

    Reply ↓
  29. tamarack etc.*

    I guess this is a perfect illustration of the beginning end of a snowball effect when a company doesn’t take action against an asshole. Good luck to the OP.

    Reply ↓
  31. GoodNPlenty*

    I once worked for a real tool who specialized in browbeating women. He saddled my boss with an illegal fund raising project. He’d randomly assign bizarre tasks to people. He’d been on Jeopardy and thought that made him king of the hill. And when all his horrible behavior caught up to him, he’d get promoted to another division. It was pure teflon masculinity, like OP’s boss. You can’t work with these men, you have to get away from them.

    Reply ↓
  32. Jasmine*

    He couldn’t find a conference room in the same building you work in??? How old is he? Kindergarten age? Seriously.!!!!????

    Reply ↓

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