my new job is making me work far more weekends than I was told when I was hired

by Alison Green on February 19, 2025

A reader writes:

In August of 2024, I left behind TV news reporting to become a social media manager for museums in my city. My career in TV news was full of manipulation, toxicity, long hours, and missed holidays. My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed.

The local theater and museum (they are combined and owned by the same company) took an interest in me, and the CEO offered me a job with them. I was told I would need to work weekends about once a month for shows, and I was okay with that. After looking at the schedule posted to the theater’s website, I decided I was okay with working a few weekends. So, I accepted, excited for the opportunity to grow in this company. I emailed my soon-to-be boss a list of dates I was unavailable that I knew shows were on. I asked for a schedule of all events, but was told, “We’ll talk about it when you start here.”

Well, I started in January and they gave me the event schedule, and I see why they waited to do it until after I started. There is something every. single. weekend. This schedule is DOUBLE the amount on the website. Everyone failed to mention that we host private events, some two weeks long. There were things like my baby sister’s birthday party that I didn’t ask off for and family weekends because I thought we were closed! I feel betrayed and lied to. And when I brought it up, I got the stereotypical “we are an events venue and you are expected to be at these events.” It felt very reminiscent of my job in TV news, where we were expected to devote our life’s to our jobs.

If I had known about the private events (some of which are 12- to 16-hour days), I would have never accepted this position. My new boss told me I would only work two shows a month on my first day, but when I asked for additional days off after receiving the schedule, I was told, “Aside from the days you previously sent me, I would expect to work every other event day.” I didn’t leave TV news to still be unable to see my family.

I can’t tell if I’ve been fooled or if I should have expected this, and I don’t know what to say to anyone that won’t result in me being fired.

I don’t see why you should have expected it when you were told you would need to work one weekend a month.

You took them at their word.

The problem is they apparently lied to you.

The question now is: if these schedule requirements aren’t going to change, do you still want the job? What you should do depends on that answer.

If you’re willing to leave over it, you can be extremely assertive about it. Sit down with your boss and say: “When I was being hired, I was told I’d need to work one weekend a month and I accepted the job on that basis. I couldn’t have accepted if I’d been told I would be expected to work every other weekend. Since that’s not possible for me with my commitments outside of work, how should we proceed?” If she says it’s not flexible and you’ll need to work every other weekend regardless of what you were promised, then you should say, “If there’s no flexibility on that, it’s not a position I can stay in. What is your preference on how we proceed from here?”

A big caveat: even if your boss says she’ll let you off the hook for some of these events, you should still proceed with a lot of caution. Unless her attitude is “this was a terrible miscommunication and I’m so sorry it happened and we want to work this out,” it’s highly likely that you’ll end up being pressured to work more weekends than you want to, regardless of what she says now.

If you’re not willing to leave over it … well, first, I think you should be! They lured you into this job under false pretenses, so even if you’re not in a position to leave tomorrow, you should be actively looking for another job so you can get out. But if you need to stay meanwhile, you’d do a softer version of the above, which would mean something like: “When I was being hired, I was told I’d need to work one weekend a month and I accepted the job on that basis. I couldn’t have accepted if I’d been told I’d be working every other weekend. What’s the best way to resolve this?” If she says there’s no changing it now, you could say, “I can try to find some flexibility in my schedule, but since I was brought on with the promise of one weekend a month, are you able to give me some flexibility in return? Can we work out a schedule that is closer to what I was told would be required?”

Maybe that will cut down on some of your weekend scheduling while you’re stuck there, maybe it won’t, but it’s worth a try.

Also! Who told you originally that you’d only be working one weekend a month? If that was a different person than your current boss, and if they are higher up than your current boss is, it’s worth going back to them, explaining what’s happened, and asking if they can intervene on your behalf, as the person who promised you that. They may or may not be willing/able to, but it’s worth a try given their role in what happened.

You may also like:
{ 176 comments }

{ 176 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Bird names*

    I’m so sorry LW. I hope they either see the light or that you can line up something with a schedule that actually works for you somewhere else. If you end up leaving over this and they give you grief? Please don’t let them guilt you. You accepted in good faith.

    Reply ↓
    1. MigraineMonth*

      “Dear Alison, my new employer lied to me and is trying to exploit me. How is this my fault?”

      It isn’t, LW. Your new boss just sucks.

      Reply ↓
    2. Kevin Sours*

      Short of somebody higher up going “what the hell, we’ll fix this immediately” I’m not sure what seeing of the light can possibly be trusted. Eject, Eject, Eject!

      Reply ↓
      1. Sam I Am*

        It sounds like the CEO recruited OP and brought her on, so go directly to the top with this! If that doesn’t result in immediate change, I agree OP should make plans to get out.

        Reply ↓
        1. Anon Just for This*

          This. Try to resolve it in the typical ways. If not, talk to the CEO. That person wanted you to join enough to actively recruit you, LW. I hope that this person is unaware of what your now-boss is telling you about scheduling and will step in and fix this.

          If nothing else, working weekends should mean you get other days off! Though it’s entirely reasonable to want your days off to be weekends and to choose jobs based on that.

          Reply ↓
        2. londonedit*

          The trouble is that the CEO might not have in-depth knowledge of how everything actually works in practice. Maybe the CEO goes to one event a month, so in their mind it’s ‘Oh, we do the occasional weekend event, maybe once a month’ and that’s what they told the OP. And then the OP’s actual line manager says ‘here’s the schedule’ and lo and behold there’s an event every weekend.

          That said, it definitely sounds like the line manager knew the OP wouldn’t be happy with the events schedule (which sounds exhausting, especially if you weren’t expecting it!) and deliberately fudged the details until the OP was on board. I’d escalate it to the CEO and see what they say, but fundamentally if the events schedule is such that the social media manager needs to be available every weekend, then the OP should definitely be planning to leave this job.

          Reply ↓
          1. AnotherOne*

            I also have to wonder if whoever said this- if they were more senior- weren’t being logical (why would a social media manager need to be at private events) while someone further down the food chain has used the previous social media person as a hot body to handle stuff at events.

            I mean I have no clue what a social media manager does but I can’t imagine they’d be needed that much at a private event.

            If I’m having a wedding at a museum, I’m probably not looking for 20 photos from the event to be plastered all over social media.

            Reply ↓
            1. social media manager 5+ years*

              As someone who works as a social media manager, it’s helpful to get a lot of extra videos and pictures especially if you want to continue promoting special events. More is more in social media so if you ever have a slow period you can pull from old events. Good Social media managers / places will have a clause about what they can share from private events and will communicate it with those hosting the event there.
              That being said, still sketch of them to lie about how often they would need her.

              Reply ↓
          2. LL*

            I don’t understand why a social media manager needs to work weekends at all. They can just schedule posts to go out on those days.

            Reply ↓
      2. Bird names*

        Oh sure, I don’t think the likelihood is very high. Alison also added the important caveat of further pressure herself.

        LW, you’ve made the choice to leave your last job for a good reason and clearly put some thought into how to proceed. That you were misled is not on you and I’m confident you’ll find a good solution. Even if I suspect that you’ll find that elsewhere in the end.

        Reply ↓
      2. Fitz*

        Is that effective in the US without a signed contract though? My understanding is that employers can change duties/schedules as they see fit unless you have an employment contract, which I think is rare in the US. It’s just as unfair as doubling a salaried employee’s workload without any additional compensation, and I don’t think US employees have recourse in that situation either?

        Would LOVE to hear that I’m wrong on this.

        Reply ↓
        1. Lexie*

          There’s usually something along the lines of “other duties as assigned” in the job description. But having stuff in writing can be helpful if the people you are dealing with have some level of integrity.

          Reply ↓
          1. Ama*

            Yes having it in an email or other written document means you have a counter if someone claims they don’t remember telling you something.

            It may not stop them from saying “well we can’t actually honor that, we need you to work more weekends” but at least when I worked for bosses like that, it helped preserve my sanity to get them to admit they were changing their minds, *I* hadn’t just misunderstood them.

            Reply ↓
          2. Dog momma*

            Yes, we have that in healthcare. I’m a retired nurse, facilities and offices included no mater if its shift work or M-F

            Reply ↓
        2. ianyl*

          This isn’t legal advice, but a change in scheduled hours or other conditions could affect eligibility for unemployment. Having what the employee was promised in writing makes it easier to show that the employer later deviated from it.

          Reply ↓
        3. Ellis Bell*

          Sometimes people get into persuasion mode when they’re hiring, and they pad the truth about the job, even in the UK where hours are commonly enshrined in the contract (but so is a clause about flexibility for ‘business needs’ too, usually). If you make people spell it out, exactly what they’re proposing, in writing “As per our conversation, I can work weekend shows so long as they are only once a month and I’ve attached a list of those conflicts that I can’t make. Can I confirm this is the right schedule and frequency of events?” etc etc. Doing this can stop people doing the verbal flufffery of “oh I think it’s roughly every month” and remind them you’re probably going to refer back to their exact written words. But it sounds like OP did a lot of this, and they really shouldn’t have had to.

          Reply ↓
    4. goddessoftransitory*

      Absolutely. Either this organization is fatally disorganized or the only way they can hire staff is to lie to their faces. Right to their faces. Either situation is 100% not on you, LW.

      Reply ↓
  2. e271828*

    Surely anyone hosting a private event has their own social media feed and media manager to cover it. I don’t expect to hear about every conference, corporate party, or whatever put on at the local museum or theatres and I doubt anyone does!

    I hope LW has their question about weekends and the answer in writing, at least in an email.

    Reply ↓
    1. NothingIsLittle*

      I suspect they aren’t expected to just be doing social media at these events, but other odd staff jobs as well. When I was a Social Media Manager, while I was expected to be posting at our events, I was also expected to be a relief shift for several stations or to rotate with other staffers.

      Reply ↓
      1. Pay no attention...*

        I agree. Even if the OP isn’t expected to do any official social media, at minimum they’ll probably be expected to be an official photographer and share them with the private guests for their social media, and when they aren’t busy with that, they’ll be asked to set up tables and chairs, etc.

        Reply ↓
        1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

          I’m getting the feeling this place is “like family” and it’s understaffed, overworked staff put on many hats, aprons and vests to cover any part of every event.
          Surprise!

          Reply ↓
          1. goddessoftransitory*

            Yeeeeeppppp. This feels very “We all wear multiple hats/by that we mean get six peoples’ jobs out of you.”

            Reply ↓
      2. Dirty Martini*

        This. Our social media manager also works some special events in different capacities as a member of our External Communications/Marketing team. Oftentimes, the social media manager takes pictures, does live feeds during the event, etc. Of course, we are in a different business altogether and don’t have events every weekend. We are also very transparent in the position description and during the interview process that there is an expectation that they will work some evenings and weekends. And there is usually plenty of notice given for advance scheduling.

        Reply ↓
    2. Sandi*

      They left a job that involved social media, but there is no information about the new job other than the bananapants expectation of hours worked.

      Reply ↓
        1. Myrin*

          No, the social media manager job was with the museums of OP’s city, where she was from August until January.
          The letter is about another job we don’t know anything about other than that it’s with the local theatre and museum. Given OP’s previous jobs/her apparent overall career trajectory, it stands to reason that it’s in something social media-/PR-adjacent as well, but the letter doesn’t actually say that.

          Reply ↓
          2. Dirty Martini*

            No, I’m pretty sure it is a social media position with the museum and a theater that are owned by the same company. I believe she left the TV news position in August but for whatever reason not specified, she didn’t start the new position until January.

            Reply ↓
            1. Myrin*

              No, because, of this: In August of 2024, I left behind TV news reporting to become a social media manager for museums in my city. […] My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed.”
              That’s TV news reporting -> social media manager for museums (plural, I’m assuming there’s an umbrella organisation managing several museums, which is a setup I’m familiar with)

              And then: “The local theater and museum (they are combined and owned by the same company) took an interest in me, and the CEO offered me a job with them.” is a different job AFTER the boring one.

              So it’s: TV news reporting (= toxic hellfire; past-August 2024) -> social media manager for several museums (= boring job OP needed after toxic hellfire; September-December) -> unspecified job at theatre-and-museum (toxic hellfire of another kind; January-present)

              I guess the crucial point here is OP’s usage of “was” regarding the social media manager job. She didn’t say “was supposed to be” or “was advertised as” or whatever (which would indeed point to the two being one and the same), but a simple “was”, which marks it as something which 1. she did in fact experience and which 2. clearly wasn’t the dumpster fire described in this letter.
              Also, it makes more sense for the CEO of a theatre-and-museum corporation to notice her if she’d already been involved with museums and not just a random TV news reporter.

              Reply ↓
          3. Lexie*

            The way I’m reading it is the initial description of a “boring” job was what OP was expecting and then the rest is what actually happened.

            Reply ↓
            1. LadyVet*

              Except they’re two different jobs. The LW was working for a museum group and then got poached for the theater/museum org. The LW had what they wanted — 9-5, boring — from Aug. through December, and started the every weekend job in January.

              Reply ↓
              1. Little Miss Helpful*

                I was envisioning a sort of internal transfer to a specific museum within the museum/thester group (ie she worked in the Smithsonian main office as one of many people grinding in the MarCom Dept and now she works as the SM Mgr at the Air & Space Museum for example)

                Reply ↓
              2. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

                I believe this is correct. I don’t understand why some people are getting the idea that the current museum/theatre job with the terrible hours is the same “boring” 9 to 5 job the LW took after leaving the TV reporting gig. It’s clear that this latest job is the third in a series of 3 jobs.

                Reply ↓
                1. Grizabella the Glamour Cat*

                  In case it’s not clear, my reply above was directed to LadyVet, whose understanding of the situation is the sample as mine.

                2. Myrin*

                  I reckon it’s because both have to do with museums; because OP only mentions two job titles (“TV news reporter” and “social media manager”); because of OP’s parenthesis which somehow makes people think “combined and owned by the same company” refers to all instances of “museum” mentioned before that when it’s actually just that one theatre-and-museum; and because people are reading “My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed.” not as an actual retelling of how the job actually was but as what she thought her impending job was supposed to be.

                  I do think OP could’ve phrased this more clearly – especially as someone working in communications, although she’s clearly really frazzled and shaken by all that is going on – but I still think that in the end, the whole thing only makes sense if there were three jobs.

  3. Typity*

    Some employers pull this kind of bait-and-switch because they know it would be very difficult to get people to accept the job otherwise, and figure that once the person has started they’re not likely to walk away over it. It sucks, but it probably works more often than not.

    Reply ↓
    1. Antilles*

      I doubt it works very often, actually. This is a level of bait-and-switch that will cause people to walk away over it. Working 12+ hour days every other weekend on top of the normal 9 to 5 is firmly unsustainable for most people and would cause them to instantly restart their job search. Maybe not quit-on-spot depending on finances, but certainly start looking for an escape hatch ASAP.

      Reply ↓
        1. Antilles*

          True. I would argue that long-term, having constant turnover and mentally checked-out employees probably ruins any benefit you’re getting from this strategy. But I suspect an employer pulling this sort of thing isn’t thinking of anything more than the most immediate problems.

          Reply ↓
        2. Smithy*

          Sure, but they’re still looking at having some pretty significant gaps between hires. And that’s assuming that the onboarding period is possible to be relatively short. So you are short staffed for a period of 1-3 months, and then need to onboard, and then risk losing people pretty quick.

          Additionally, having to regularly ask other staff to fill in for those short coverage periods also risks burning out those staff. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the offer was made in partial good faith because someone high up assumed the person currently covering events would continue to do so – or at least in part. And then that person either quits or pushes back and says they’ll quit unless it’s taken off their plate. So it becomes an ongoing game of musical chairs vs properly managing the role and its expectations.

          I knew someone hired to work in an Eastern Hemisphere time zone, with a number of external contacts based in that time zone. When she joined the team, it turned out that their primary management was currently being done by a consulting firm based in the Western Hemisphere for a set block of hours – that for her were 8pm to midnight. So to both reach her external contacts and the consultants working as her manager – she was basically working 12 hour days.

          She almost immediately began to job hunt, was able to leave after about 4-5 months.

          Reply ↓
          1. Kevin Sours*

            Eh. I would be shocked if there was any good faith whatsoever. Between being cagey about the actual work when asked and the pressure to work a schedule different that what was agreed to without any acknowledgement of change it sounds like a classic bait and switch.

            I mean does anything about this sound like a company that cares about burning out staff? You are looking at this in comparison between what a reasonable employer would want and do and the hodge podge that results when you misrepresent the job and people bail. But if you aren’t willing to alter the job and salary so that people are willing to it with their eyes open and you are willing to lie your ass off to get people you can get staff at least part time.

            Reply ↓
            1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

              Having a double secret probation, I mean event list for the OP after being told during the hiring process to “check the website” full stop, not, “check the website for the public events” was a lie or obfuscation.

              Reply ↓
      2. goddessoftransitory*

        The only people I can see staying are very young, single adults in their first jobs who want to build their resumes, and even they will hopefully see it as a “building block.”

        Reply ↓
        1. Mango Tango*

          Spot-on! My first job required 9-5 + unpaid frequent nights and weekends … they only retained people if it was their first office job (who were either right out of college or switching to white collar work from the hospitality sector).

          Reply ↓
      3. Ellis Bell*

        It doesn’t work when it’s a hard no for people with options. But it works on someone with less experience who has to tough out a crappy job in order to gain the experience; they were looking at a host of poor options and this one seemed like a life raft. Now, that it’s not, they definitely might start a job hunt but they’ll probably be stuck there for a while until something better comes ay. It’s a recipe for turnover, of course. OP seems to have options fortunately.

        Reply ↓
    2. Possum's mom*

      It’s so common to try to dump more weekend coverage on the newest employee (especially a young one inexperienced in workplace norms) because they count on less
      (or no) resistance from them as the low person on the totem pole.Talking to the person who interviewed OP should clear up any confusion and then OP could decide from there whether this job is worth staying .

      Reply ↓
      1. Ontariariario*

        FYI, that’s a bad expression mostly because the lowest figure on a totem pole is actually the most respected!

        Reply ↓
            1. JustaTech*

              I’m fond of “bottom of the pecking order”, particularly in situations where it feels like I’m being pecked to bits by a flock of chickens.

              Reply ↓
        4. Lizcase*

          off topic: I love your username. I had to memorize that song as a girl guide to sing at some big event. No idea what the event was, but I still know all the lyrics.

          Reply ↓
    3. Ann O'Nemity*

      Eh, you can find people who want to work evenings and weekends *IF* you offer flexible schedules or pay really well. Just be super transparent in the job description.

      The problem is when you advertise a normal MF 8-5 job and then suddenly expect a bunch of extra hours. You can’t expect someone to work their regular 40, plus two extra-long weekend shifts – that’s two FT jobs, not one!

      Reply ↓
      1. Disappointed With the Staff*

        I wonder if part of the point is that it’s really hard to find another job if you’re only able to interview on random weekends?

        Reply ↓
    4. Beth*

      It might work for a few months, because many people don’t have the financial stability to walk away until they get something else lined up. But this approach means you’re going to have high turnover, and that whoever is in the role is likely to be frustrated and not very invested for however long they’re stuck there. It’s a terrible hiring strategy. If you need to hire for a role with really unappealing hours or whatever, it’s better to offer enough to make it worth someone’s while to take it on knowingly.

      Reply ↓
    5. Pay no attention...*

      It could be intentional bait-and-switch but it’s maybe likely to be ignorance and indifference — the CEO has no idea the hours of a person in OPs position or what’s going on a daily basis at the museum/theater. I don’t normally hear a CEO title for museums and theaters — maybe the OP was trying to stay anon — but IME the top level person very rarely knows what the rank-and-file actually do all day or any events beyond what’s on their calendar.

      Reply ↓
      2. Strict Extension*

        Apparently it’s increasingly popular in non-profits to switch from Executive Director to President & CEO in order to attract top candidates. At least that’s what the external hiring firm told us when they changed the title at our organization before the job was posted. Your point stands about the person at the top, though.

        Reply ↓
  4. ghostlight*

    LW, this definitely sucks, but as someone who works at a large theatre with events and shows happening nearly every night… why is the social media manager required to be at every event?? Our social media manager is fully remote, and their posts are pretty much all scheduled in advance.

    Reply ↓
    1. Cassi*

      I used to do social for a venue & besides several shows that we owned (highly abnormal in this space) I did not work weekends.

      Reply ↓
    2. NothingIsLittle*

      I mention this above as well, but I suspect they aren’t expected to just be doing social media at these events, but other odd staff jobs as well. When I was a Social Media Manager, while I was expected to be posting at our events, I was also expected to be a relief shift for several stations or to rotate with other staffers.

      Reply ↓
      1. KitKat*

        It’s also not 100% explicit in the letter that the current position is still Social Media. It could be some other event/marketing related job that would have higher expectations for attendance, although I’m struggling to think of anything that isn’t specifically event management where you’d need to be at *everything*. Even when I worked FOH at a theater, not everybody was at every event.

        Reply ↓
    3. Antilles*

      I’m guessing that “working the event” isn’t simply about having some social media posts and photos, but that OP is also expected to assist in other normal event staff duties. Checking tickets, handing out programs, pointing guests towards the restroom, etc.

      Reply ↓
    4. constant_craving*

      I don’t think that’s the actual position. She left tv news to do social media, through that became known by the company, and then was hired for this new (unspecified) job.

      Reply ↓
    5. Funfetti*

      I was surprised by this too have social for every event. Social media person is responsible for posting and collecting the content – not actively making it all the time. I worked with companies that had other colleagues who were already on site take the photos based on what the social media person wanted, and then again they posted it. Could that be a solution too? Also their marketing/sales strategy sucks if they think having a social person on site for 12 hours is going to do anything for the company business wise. Social one channel not the ONLY sales channel.

      Reply ↓
  5. Rowan*

    Alison has interpreted this letter to mean that they’re asking her to work “every other weekend”, as in, alternating weekends, or two weekends a month, which is only (only!) double the original requirement.

    The way I’m reading it, they’re asking them to work *every* weekend. There’s an event every weekend, and they expect LW to be there other than the days they specifically requested off. So 4x the original requirement!

    Reply ↓
      1. Helen*

        I reread it a couple of times and I think Alison meant “all other weekends”? As in, you have to do the one weekend you agreed to plus all of the other ones.

        Reply ↓
    3. Massive Dynamic*

      Me too, which is absolute bananas. No days off at all, or six days on, one day off? It’s social media, not an oil rig!

      Reply ↓
      1. JustaTech*

        And even on an oil rig, don’t people get to go home at the end of their stint, rather than staying on the rig for years at a time?

        Reply ↓
    4. Magdalena*

      Yes I think the OP meant they went from agreeing on one weekend per month to promising “only” two weekends a month to expecting her to attend every weekend event (so, all of them).

      Reply ↓
      1. Not Tom, Just Petty*

        especially when OP explains some events are a week or two long! like that’s your job for the duration and then the next one start. Those people don’t care that you’ve been flat out for 14 days, they are ready to go.

        Reply ↓
    5. boof*

      Yea looks like working every weekend except the ones they thought to ask for off because of direct conflicts with public events
      LW please tell them no – if you’re worried about the lay of the land you can phrase it as “oh I am so sorry, I accepted under the understanding I would only be working one weekend a month but I cannot do more than that and apologize for the misunderstanding!” (they are the ones who should be apologizing but if for some reason you’re worried someone will take your backing out personally you can try the “oh it’s me not you so sorry!” thing)

      Reply ↓
      1. Big 'ol dogs*

        OP should absolutely NOT apologize for the “misunderstanding.” There was no misunderstanding. The company told her she would only need to work one weekend a month and reneged on that deal.

        I have no problem with jobs that need people to be hardcore, but it should be disclosed in advance so that the employee can determine whether the compensation suits such an arrangement.

        Reply ↓
    1. No Tribble At All*

      This isn’t a solution for OP, who has other commitments on regular weekends and does not, in fact, want to work an adjusted schedule

      Reply ↓
    2. ReallyBadPerson*

      But that still wouldn’t allow LW to attend events hosted by friends and family, since these fall on weekends.

      Reply ↓
    3. Beth*

      Weekdays off (when most people are at work or school) is not a replacement for weekends off (when you can actually make plans with your friends and family).

      Reply ↓
  7. Tio*

    LW, can you contact your old job maybe? If they haven’t filled your position and liked having you there, and you left on good terms, they may be willing to let you come back. You can just give them a soft “The schedule we agreed on when I accepted turned out to be completely different when I came in, so I couldn’t stay with them” if the ask. They’ll probably understand if you’re calm about it when asked.

    Otherwise, time to start job hunting again

    Reply ↓
    1. becca*

      The whole reason why OP left the old job was because it was toxic, manipulative, and full of long hours. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to go back.

      Reply ↓
      1. Respectfully, Pumat Sol*

        No, there was a job in between at the museums, not the theater. OP could try to go back to the museum job.

        Reply ↓
      2. Ellis Bell*

        I read it that way too (as though the ‘boring job’ was this prospective job) but the months referenced make it clearer: they left their old industry for this new industry in August and started this particular role in January.

        Reply ↓
    3. Alan*

      That was my thought too. Although they weren’t there for long, and the old employer might not appreciate how quickly they left the first time.

      Reply ↓
      1. linger*

        OP was offered this current position because it’s the same upper management for both (shared ownership), so that might not be an issue.

        Reply ↓
        1. Myrin*

          I don’t think it is – the place that shares ownership are the local theatre and the local museum (I’d assume OP phrased it that way because otherwise, people would ask “Well, what is it? Do you work for a theatre or for a museum?”). The social media manager position was with another company simply dealing with “museums in [OP’s] city”, which doesn’t mean “every single museum here, and as such, also this theatre-and-museum combination”.

          Reply ↓
  8. NothingIsLittle*

    OP, would you be open to weekends if it was a regular schedule? I worked Tuesday through Saturday at a previous job as a Social Media Manager and it was perfect for me due to health obligations I could handle on Mondays. Obviously, since you’re mentioning family weekends it sounds like that might not be a fit, but I thought it was worth mentioning if it might help!

    Reply ↓
    1. Funfetti*

      THIS – I also worked in events and had this schedule so I could feel sane. Plus Monday is considered an “off” day in the events industry too.

      Reply ↓
    2. Katherine*

      Back in my restaurant days, I also worked Tuesday through Saturday, and it was great for getting errands done on Mondays.

      Reply ↓
    3. Skytext*

      OP was pretty clear she was fed up and done with missing family events, that mostly take place on weekends. So no, working a Wed-Sun schedule or whatever is not the answer for her. I worked retail for many years, working every weekend, and while it is nice to have some weekday days off for Dr. and other appointments , it doesn’t make up for all the weekend family and hobby stuff you end up missing.

      Reply ↓
      1. Not my real name*

        I had a job where I think I worked every sixth weekend. I liked the occasional day off during the week. Now I “work” a lot of weekends but it is different. Without sharing too many details there are events and activities that I attend on weekends, if I choose to. But how I structure my schedule is very much up to me, except when it isn’t.

        Reply ↓
      2. NothingIsLittle*

        Family events might be scheduled differently if they knew ahead of time that every Saturday she’d be working, as opposed to functionally every Saturday. When I changed jobs, we swapped most of our family events for Sundays instead of Saturdays and it was fine. It seems to me that the problem is the bait and switch and that prescheduled family events aren’t being honored, so I wanted to offer a solution that worked for my family.

        Of course it won’t work for everyone! (And the subterfuge is reprehensible. You need to know ahead of time if you’re committing to an atypical schedule.)

        Reply ↓
  9. oaktree*

    The “We’ll talk about it when you start here” comment is informative. At the least, they withheld information from OP with the intent of keeping them from knowing the expectations of the position until they were already on board. If you stay in this job, I’d bet you’ll find other toxic expectations.

    Reply ↓
    1. Kevin Sours*

      Managers not wanting to talk about work conditions until your start date should be viewed a serious warning sign.

      Reply ↓
  10. duinath*

    And if they’ll lie about this (if indeed that is how it happened, which based on the info we have sure looks likely), what else will they lie about if that’s what it takes to get the results they want?

    Reply ↓
  11. No Name Today*

    I took a job with “occasional” weekends which quickly turned out to be more than I wanted. On top of that, I’m non-exempt, but they wanted me to “flex” my time during the week to be available for these half days on weekends, which basically meant I was working 6 days/week, even if two of them were half days.

    But then I realized I am in charge of booking most of these events! I can just… not book an event if I don’t want to work it. So that’s where we are now. And since I haven’t gotten a raise in two years, I’m booking even fewer this year (these events are a small portion of my job so I’m not worried I’ll run myself out of work) but there is no incentive for me to “grow the business” like they originally wanted.

    Reply ↓
  12. not nice, don't care*

    Sometimes just not being available is the way to go. My partner’s workplace tried schedule nonsense like this and had to pivot fast when everyone had hard calendar conflicts planned based on the bait part of the bait & switch.

    They also had help from their union.

    Reply ↓
    1. Ellis Bell*

      Yeah, I would probably combine this with the advice from Nonprofit Lifer below, a sort of “I’m not free, you told me you’d be closed at weekends + I’m not needed anyway”. If OP has an upcoming wedding, that’s a nice firm basis to show how much this bait and switch fooled them, and unfortunately made them super unavailable. “If I’d been aware of these events, I would have informed you I had hard conflicts, but I was told there were no other weekends we were open, and no dates to keep free. In fact there was so little planned on advance, that I was told it wouldn’t even need be discussed until after I’d started the role”. Then pivot quickly to “Fortunately I have a solution. I’ve queued up posts for this weekend’s events using photos and video from dress rehearsals and prior events. I’ve also got instructions here, for those staff members who are there already to take photos or videos that I can turn into content later.” Make them spell it out exactly why they need you there in person so urgently, but not urgently enough to have given you so much as a save the date.

      Reply ↓
  13. Former Museum Employee*

    I’m very sorry. This is typical of museums, unfortunately. Both to not be upfront and to expect you to devote your life to it. I left my museum career to gain my life back.

    Reply ↓
    1. Mrs. Pommeroy*

      Yeah, that’s my impression too, when it comes to museums and such. I recently saw a job ad for something like a museum and the requests of “must be able and willing to” for amounts of time at basically ANY time of day, week, month or year was bananas. They expect you to be fully invested in only them, basically.

      Reply ↓
      1. Starbuck*

        Yeah, a lot of museums have been slow to respond to things like the overtime exemption threshold being raised – a lot of weekend and evening event hours were basically free for the employer since they had people working salaried but paid very little who would do them. And so program & staffing plans were built around that. Plus, even though it’s still a passion career for many, with rising costs of living there is a smaller pool of people who are willing to take a part-time but all-hours job arrangement to get their foot in the door.

        But things are changing and I wouldn’t say it’s typical, at least in my region – these types of off-hours events positions are usually hired for specifically with a weekend/evening regular schedule mandated.

        Reply ↓
      2. Not my real name*

        I was on the hiring committee for a non-profit many years ago. We hired someone as our Development Director who had previously worked for a museum. We knew that the museum job hadn’t worked out. When I asked someone involved with the museum as a volunteer, I was told that the employee was hired thinking he would be fundraising, but that they were expecting him to feed the goats.

        Reply ↓
        1. NothingIsLittle*

          Ex-museum employee here and I would have loved feeding goats! Would have wanted to know that was an expectation before being hired though…

          Reply ↓
  14. Midwest Cheesehead*

    Hi! This really sucks. Some practical advice as someone who used to do social media for clients. There is no reason for you to be onsite for everything. If they want footage – discuss having the event organizer or someone else take a few photos or footage for you. You can create a quick tutorial with them, but it’s way out of bounds for what I’m sure they’re paying you.

    You can commit to maybe posting the footage that’s been sent to you, but stepping away to post something or repost things is quite different than needing to be onsite for each event. This may be the best way to handle. You can commit to “big events” but stick to only being there once a month.
    Best of luck – this is hard! Especially if you’re one of the first full time social media people they’ve had.

    Reply ↓
  15. Just Thinkin' Here*

    OP, sounds like the discussion about schedule was with the CEO. Go back to the CEO and state that the management team is not honoring the hiring conditions. Otherwise, I would call a labor lawyer for interference and/or fraud. The hiring company can continue to pay you while you resolve the matter.

    Reply ↓
    2. Starbuck*

      Call a labor lawyer? Unless LW lives in one of the few states that has schedule-notification laws, what is actionable here? Unfortunately in most states you’ve got no protection from your employer requiring a change in your schedule. Some states might consider mandating, like, an overnight shift to be constructive dismissal for the purposes of getting unemployment… but you’d probably have to fight for that and the change from “some weekends” to “nearly all weekends” might not meet that bar.

      Have you ever successfully hired a lawyer to sue for interference/fraud in a scenario like this?

      Reply ↓
    3. Pierrot*

      If LW in the US, it is highly unlikely that she would have any sort of legal case from the weekend hours situation because most workers who aren’t in unions or in contract based positions are at will. Unless LW signed a binding contract (which is different from an offer letter), this approach would likely be fruitless.

      Reply ↓
  16. Cyborg Llama*

    LW, if you want to know if they were trying to fool you, just look back at the part where they didn’t give you the real schedule when you asked for it.

    Reply ↓
  17. el l*

    Were you promised once a month in writing? By who? Because if it’s in writing, and it’s from your boss (or someone similarly senior), I’d print that out and throw that back in their face.

    But in the end, I think you need to be willing to leave over this. And don’t feel guilty about it. There’s a certain amount of trust required here, and they’ve broken it already.

    Reply ↓
  18. cele*

    Oooo. This happened to me. It was “One weekend a month” when I took the job, and then it changed to “Actually, two weekends a month” and then it changed to “Weekends whenever we tell you” and soon enough, it was every weekend. There was an odd, guilt-trippy attitude that *of course* we’d be willing to work every weekend “for the mission,” despite a very clear one-weekend promise at the start.
    Unfortunately, even with pushback, it never improved. OP, I would just be very honest with yourself about whether this can work out long-term.

    Reply ↓
    1. not nice, don't care*

      People who are high on vocational awe get really cranky when dealing with coworkers who are not afflicted by that condition. Instead of advocating for sustainable, consensual working conditions, they snark and badmouth coworkers with boundaries.

      Reply ↓
    2. Steve for Work Purposes*

      A similar thing happened to me at my first post-PhD research job. When I was hired I was told no weekend work and I was to be assigned to a specific project related to my PhD. Then it became the occasional weekend, and the project I’d been hired to do fell through so I was moved to a different project that involved skills/work I was very unfamiliar with (and no time to train me in it properly). Then it became 12 days on, 2 days off, and sometimes even longer without a day off because they had a hard time finding staff, and not much budget, so the boss’s idea was to just push it all onto the salaried exempt folks, so 12-hour days became the norm (she was not working hours like that, just everyone else).

      It was a bit of a frog in boiling water situation for a while but I started job hunting and reaching out to my network after only a few months…the final straw was seeing the next set of rosters on the shared Teams folder and seeing that I’d been scheduled for 6 weeks without a day off (legal in that state, unfortunately). I turned in my 2 weeks’ notice the following Monday.

      Only time I’ve ever quit without a job lined up but lucky for me I got a call back from a job I’d applied for and was able to make the transition fairly smoothly. And during my exit interview I told the HR person that if my boss had been honest about the job hours/duties/work I would never have taken it. I did learn a lot about how many different things can go wrong on fieldwork at least, but it was possibly the worst-organised/most stressful way to do so.

      Bosses that do this won’t usually listen to pushback. OP needs to find a way to get out of there and land someplace else, and I am so sorry you’re in this position, OP.

      Reply ↓
  19. Teapots are a ladle type*

    LW, this isn’t going to change if I were to bet on it. You did nothing wrong, except believing liars you did not know were liars yet.

    400% increase in full weekends on the job, not so bad they’ll tell you, aren’t you committed? (Etc etc). You can ask about overtime, which they’ll say ha you’re exempt, or ask for a XY% raise which they’ll imply you’re a bad person (etc etc)

    Abandon ship this place is dead to you. And it’s not your fault. And it’s neither your fault you can’t fix it.

    Reply ↓
    1. yllis*

      Non profits tend to do that with their salaried folks. The guilt tripping can be intense if you try have reasonable boundaries.

      Reply ↓
  20. Calamity Janine*

    to echo and emphasize Alison’s far more sage advice – trust is, as many trusims remind us, easily broken and repaired only with great difficulty. pulling this kind of chicanery is something that is a major red flag for good reasons. if this employer is willing to lie to you about your schedule… what *else* are they willing to lie to you about?

    can you trust them to keep a workplace as safe as they say they do? what about trusting that they’ve classified you correctly as the right kind of employee? can you trust they’ll really be matching 401k contributions? if their modus operandi is “yeah, we lied to you about what the job was like, now go along with it” about hours, how long until they find it acceptable to repeat the same trick with how much they’re paying you, and if that paycheck actually gets into your account or not?

    yes, i am being a bit histrionic in my worries. i am sure there are plenty of workplaces which are safe and otherwise everything on the up-and-up except they’re willing to lie to employees about scheduling. the real problem is that there’s simply no way to tell if you’re in a workplace that will lie about just one thing, or a workplace that lies about many things – at least, not a way to tell before it becomes a bit too late to act on the information.

    i am not learned in many things (aside from nattering in very specific subjects and huffing my own farts). but i feel like the following is a good general rule: if in your business life you start to feel like Lando Calrissian on Cloud City because Darth Vader has just informed you that he is altering the deal and pray he does not alter it further? that’s your cue to also take Lando’s lead and get out of there. your contracts with the Empire are already not worth anything, so time to scramble and see if the fine folks at Rebel Alliance, Inc. are hiring. Darth Vader is many things, but a good boss is not one of them*

    *yes, he does lift people up when they’re down, but usually by the neck. it creates an awful lot of paperwork, i hear, but that’s what Imperial HR gets after deciding he has murder as a religious accommodation

    Reply ↓
    1. Grenelda Thurber*

      This. I learned a little late in life that a person who can and will look you directly in the eye and lie to you is a person who can never be trusted. Ever. Because they’re acting like a sociopath. If an entire organization operates that way, run like the wind! (love the Star Wars parable)

      Reply ↓
    2. NothingIsLittle*

      I can’t help but wonder if an out-of-touch recruiting CEO said “of course it’s only one weekend a month,” no one actually lied, and the direct manager is the bad actor for not disclosing the schedule preemptively. To be clear, waiting to until after an employee starts to discuss their basic schedule is bananas (and absolutely purposeful)! But I’m curious how much of the problem is inept as opposed to intentional.

      Reply ↓
  21. Burnt Out Librarian*

    There was a process (read: crime) once upon a time called “crimping” where people would literally get kidnapped and taken to undesirable working environments like ships and work camps. This isn’t as extreme but still involves some deceptive practice to get you to do a job they know is unlikely to get filled willingly because it’s exploitative.

    Honestly, I would talk to a lawyer. If they documented the original offer of one-weekend-a-month, even more so. While I would not want to stay at any employer who uses these kinds of practices to recruit, you might have a case to get paid and work the shift you originally agreed to while working on finding somewhere more legitimate to work.

    (My job did something slimy with taking away our ability to flex our schedules as exempt staff after I’d been there for a few years. I’m still super salty about it and am looking elsewhere because I’m being nickeled-and-dimed out of PTO and monitored like a child despite being extolled as an “exempt professional.”)

    Reply ↓
    1. Zona the Great*

      Oh I’ve def had this happen without the crime aspect of it. I was asked to do the bookwork for an independent contractor. First day, he loaded me up with the guys and had me do roof tarring for a whole day. I was held captive in a rural area all because I didn’t speak up in time.

      Reply ↓
      2. Burnt Out Librarian*

        I have never been held against my will at a roofing project but some of my jobs felt like abductions… Mostly when I was temping and had no idea what I was signing up for at some businesses.

        Reply ↓
      3. Cai*

        Oh, yeah, I had one of those. I was hired to do post-construction housekeeping at an apartment. I showed up and they load me into a van along with some other guys – oh, is the apartment not in this building? We drive for a bit and get out at a house in the woods. No cell reception and we are miles out of town.

        Turns out to be a mold remediation job. I spent 13 hours wiping kitchenware with some kind of anti-mold cleanser, for minimum wage. When I said I wanted to leave, they told me we’d leave when the job was over. When I pointed out I hadn’t brought anything to eat, they told me the homeowner had said we could eat the food in the kitchen if we wanted.

        Reply ↓
    2. Annie*

      Right. The hours the OP is working is also excessive by any means. Is she really exempt and is she really getting the pay that she deserves if she has to work these extra weekends and extended hours?

      Reply ↓
    3. Grenelda Thurber*

      This happened to people on the west coast of the US in the 19th century, when ship owners were having difficulty crewing their ships. There’s even a word for it, being “shanghaied.”

      Reply ↓
      1. Burnt Out Librarian*

        Yep! It was called crimping and sailor thieving too, which I defer to in case the third term’s etymology involves any casual racism. Apparently it was called that because Shanghai was one of the places folks got taken, but certainly not the only one.

        Reply ↓
        1. Bay*

          It still happens, but the locations and jobs have changed! Now it’s often people going for job prospects in southeast Asian cities and ending up in secret sites in the jungles of Myanmar scamming people over smartphone apps. (Pig butchering scams get a lot of their labor force by kidnapping.) Also tuna boats are notorious for this.

          Reply ↓
    4. NothingIsLittle*

      IANAL, but I don’t think there’s any legal standing to contact a lawyer about the schedule. OP is almost certainly not under contract; you don’t get these offers in writing to sue, you get them to establish the company is keeping their promises as an optics issue. And even then they can change the terms of your employment at any time as long as they don’t retroactively change your pay, and it’s not associated with a protected class.

      An employment lawyer could be the right choice for establishing whether OP is correctly classified as exempt, but the bait-and-switch schedule almost certainly has no legs.

      Reply ↓
  22. Orange Cat Energy*

    LW, I’m so sorry this happened. Museums and theaters do have lots of private events because those help pay the bills, but they really should have been honest about the expectations for the role. Why do they need you for Saturdays? Are you just there to do staffing like check-ins because they’re small staffed?

    If you truly can’t get out of working weekends, maybe ask about flexible scheduling? For example, if you’re going to have a 16-hour Saturday, maybe you can leave work early on Friday? I realize they might say they don’t have to have flex for you if you’re exempt, but it’s really about fairness. Of course, you run the risk of being shown favoritism if no one else at your job was given flexibility.

    Reply ↓
    1. BigLawEx*

      This is interesting. I kind of always assumed the people booking the event had to hire their own staff because that’s what was presented in the little event booklet for most places. Sometimes you could bring people in. Sometimes you had to hire their caterer, etc., but I’d never heard of the actual staff (outside of someone with keys/access to HVAC/lights) having the work the event.

      Reply ↓
      1. Ama*

        At a museum there often has to be a full-time staff person on site for the whole event for insurance reasons, especially if the event has access to exhibit halls with valuable pieces. Most of the time it has to be someone with more operational authority than a security guard or custodial staff. (The place I worked that hosted exhibits and events, our custodial and security staff were contracted through an agency so they wouldn’t have met the conditions of our policy anyway.)

        That said that employer did have a primary staff position for events but all of the administrative staff were expected to pick a few that we’d work in her place so she didn’t have to do all of them. And our event calendar was a lot less packed (more than 4 evenings a month was a lot, and we tried to avoid weekends as much as possible).

        Reply ↓
        1. BigLawEx*

          Interesting. I’ve been to SO many of these in LA and NYC. Plus have been on planning committees for volunteer events. It feels like everything else where we don’t know how the sausage is made and may not be made ethically. I’d hate to think some fundraiser at the library or any museum has people on the hook…non voluntarily.

          Reply ↓
  23. toolegittoresign*

    12 to 16 hour days! Please be sure to check your state laws and see if you’re entitled to overtime at all. due to the number of days and hours you’re actually working. Also, double-check your job description to see if there’s anything you’re doing that’s outside of it. These can be helpful in any conversation about adjusting your schedule.

    Reply ↓
  24. theothermadeline*

    As a director of marketing in the arts for a heavy-events based medium, I can’t possibly imagine why they would want or need their social media manager present for all of these things, especially private events that aren’t mission-specific. That’s not even approaching why the social media manager would need to be there for the full 12-16 hour event day, which can be common but only because they include elaborate set up and tear down. This sounds like a terribly toxic place that feels far to comfortable exercising other duties as assigned as a very broad concept.

    Reply ↓
  25. Emily Spinach*

    I work a job that requires a lot of weekend work and has changed significantly since my assistant’s job was eliminated (we would split nights and weekends), so I’ve had to do A LOT of re-establishing boundaries so that I’m not working every night or every weekend. Each quarter (or so) I sit down with my boss and tell him the days/evenings I cannot work, even before events are scheduled. I put those dates on our shared work calendar and list myself as unavailable, so that it’s documented somewhere. Then, when event requests do come up, we take my schedule into consideration when giving yeses and nos. If we really want to do an event on a day when I’m out? That’s great, but someone else needs to work it. It’s helped us be more mindful of what/how much we’re scheduling and has helped me maintain a relatively consistent (or at least non-surprising) work schedule.

    Reply ↓
  26. I'm just here for the cats!!*

    I don’t understand why the OP has to be at every event? Even if they are the events manager or coordinator or something it sounds like there are too many events for 1 person to work.

    Reply ↓
    1. WS*

      I would suspect it’s because other employees (reasonably!) don’t want to do it and they’re counting on the newbie to not be able to say no.

      Reply ↓
  27. Former Non-Profit Development Associate*

    LW, I am giving you all of the hugs in the world. I am a former non-profit performing arts employee and while this kind of workload is common practice in the industry, there was no realistic way you could have known about this given your previous career. When you asked for information about scheduling, they flat-out lied to you.

    Unfortunately, working in this industry means long hours, low pay, and the expectation that *you will be grateful for the opportunity ✨*.

    Eff that. Hold them accountable for not giving you all of the information you needed to make na informed decision about accepting this job, push hard for flexible working hours/extra support, and start making plans to GTFO as soon as possible. If you can afford to quit without having another job lined up, I would seriously consider doing it. In my experience, these organizations are designed to rely on employees who are willing to sacrifice their personal lives and earning potential. I’m really skeptical that this will be a good fit for you in the long term.

    Reply ↓
  28. Jonathan MacKay*

    Having been hired under false pretenses myself, I’ve developed a bit of a kneejerk reaction to such things. While there is usually some wisdom in having a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude, sometimes it is the exact wrong approach.

    When you miss a chance to say farewell to a dying relative because they insist they can’t spare you, Delenda Est comes to mind…

    Reply ↓
  29. LaurCha*

    As a former museum professional, I can think of no reason why the social media manager has to be at every event, particularly private events. Her job is to publicize the mission-related events, not people’s weddings.

    I have a feeling she’s going to show up and they’ll want her to take tickets or set up chairs or some kind of nonsense.

    Reply ↓
    3. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      This. I’ve been a comms director and I’ve done a ton of events organizing and social media work for public agencies and nonprofits. If I were holding a private event at a venue I wouldn’t even want the venue’s social media manager present, much less social media-ing about us. My organization as the actual host is the one that decides what to photograph, quote, post, etc. That’s not really something the SMM for the venue can decide in terms of what’s the best fit for a mission or brand that isn’t their own.

      Are these event-holding entities asked if they want this? Is this something being invoiced for as an added value? In that case, this is a revenue source and that gets even more interesting for what was withheld in the hiring process. So many questions.

      This feels like a thinly disguised events coordinator position masquerading as something fancier with the title.

      Reply ↓
    4. Nonny Muss*

      yeah, my guess too.

      I work at a small children’s museum and most of us wear MANY hats. During my weekend shifts, I do everything (OK, I usually don’t fix toilets or shovel sidewalks. but i have done both)… but we all rather know that going into weekends and events- and we have a rota for weekend and events that’s worked out in advance.

      imo, that’s the only fair way to do things and it’s the only way to handle things like “what is dress code” (because i will shovel snow in a pinch, but not while wearing heels. and i also will take pictures because the social media person is in the opposite side of the rotation (although hers are better than mine).

      And it only works if it’s REALLY that way for everyone- my executive director has ALSO fixed toilets, covered for sick staff, wiped up throw-up, directed traffic in extreme temperatures,
      gone to buy mealworms, etc. If she didn’t, it would rankle more when i have to.

      Reply ↓
  30. Landry*

    I think this is a rare case of Alison’s wording in the response being confusing. She mentions “every other weekend” not as in “one weekend on, one weekend off,” but meaning that it’s every other weekend aside from the one per month LW was expecting. The end result is that LW is working every weekend, which is untenable.

    LW, I’d start looking for greener pastures. This seems an awfully lot like you were misled, and now that you know how they operate, there’s no telling what else they might mislead you about in the future. In hindsight, it would have been better to push harder when they said “we’ll talk about that when you get here.” Something to file away for next time, perhaps.

    Reply ↓
  31. Nonprofit Lifer*

    I’ve also done social media for a museum. It sounds like they may have a warped idea of what a social media manager does. A lot of non-marketers think of social media as basically a public diary where you document everything you do. Whereas it’s better understood as a way to guide the public’s interest, and even the most ardent supporter of an org isn’t equally interested in everything that happens every day. A social media manager should be curating the content to engage, and that does not require new content from every event.

    I don’t know what kind of content they’re used to, but you should be able to queue up posts for weekend events using photos or video from dress rehearsals or prior events. If they feel like you MUST have content from every weekend event maybe you can work out a system where other staff members who are there already can take photos or videos that you can turn into content later. And when there are a series of similar events, you personally go to the first one to get high-quality material for content for the rest.

    It often helps to come up with ‘comparables’ from other orgs whose social media content (and numbers) you like, and ask your boss which other orgs they think of as comparable (similar size and resources) and as aspirational (doing it really well but might have more resources.) You might be able to use their own examples to show that the behavior they’re asking for (documenting every event) isn’t needed for the kind of social media presence they would actually love.

    Reply ↓
  32. Artemesia*

    They don’t need a social media manager there for every event. It is somehow making it easier to exploit a new hire. The time to put your foot down is now. Have some things that ‘can’t be moved’ that I committed to when I was told what my schedule would be. Push them to have to cover those with others – make sure you do your social media job related to the event.

    If they push you into this early, you are sunk. But resisting early might force them to find other solutions than dump on the new hire.

    I know people who had to come into the office at 5 in the morning in order to get a daily report done by 11 am when it was ‘needed.’ They eventually quit over the schedule. The new person hired literally said ‘It won’t be possible to get this report done by 11, so we need to find another deadline’ and was soon producing the report at 3 every day.

    You might be surprised what is possible if you firmly push back early (because my schedule for some of these weekends is already full)

    Reply ↓
  34. Kimmitt*

    LW, start your job search and use your sick and PTO time strategically to keep yourself sane until you’re out. I wouldn’t try to change any of this internally. A bait-and-switch of this magnitude is generally planned and agreed upon.

    Reply ↓
  35. Ugh*

    I’d frame it with a slight hint of litigation. “I left my previous job, which was a decent one, to work here based on what you confirmed to me in our interviews. I was wilin got work one weekend a month as you mentioned. I had no reason to think the schedule would be anything other than what you had described. Working every weekend means i have no days off, and I feel like I was taken for a ride here. I’m in a situation where I cannot work this many hours, yet I was persuaded to give up a previous job to which I cannot go back. I’m in a bind here, where it feels like I fell for a classic bait and switch. I like the work, but would prefer to stay because the job is what you presented it to be, and because I like the work, not because I have no other choice. How can we proceed?” Not that many words of course, but that idea.

    Reply ↓
  36. MuseumChick*

    I’m so late to this today! Sadly, this is *super* common in the museum field. Museums attract people who care very deeply about history and doing all they can to ensure its preserved. This is often weaponized by leadership and is very common for people working in museum to work much longer than their official hours and not complain. Especially for special events.

    I’m so sorry you are experiencing the toxic side of my field! My advice is to get out as soon as you can. It’s very unlikely the schedule will get any better or anyone will care what you were told when you started.

    Reply ↓
  37. Scarlet ribbons in her hair*

    I’m reminded of my very first job, where I was told by the owner that I would work Monday through Friday 9:00 AM to 5:30 PM, only to find out (from the owner) on my first day that my hours would be 9:00 AM to midnight Monday through Friday, 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM on Saturday, plus Sunday mornings if necessary. And I wouldn’t even get paid overtime! I was told that they would keep track of all of my hours, and I would get time off when the company could do without me.

    I should have walked out, but instead I worked until 9:00 PM (and had to beg to be able to leave), and I told them on my second day that I would work Monday through Friday from 9:00 to 5:30 PM as I had originally been told until they found a replacement for me. Two days later, I was told not to come back. I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason that they hired me was because they knew that it would be my first job, and they figured that since it was my first job, I would stay there for a year.

    Bait and switch companies are the worst. All I can say is get out of there ASAP.

    Reply ↓
    1. Lenora Rose*

      Well, and what they were asking was flat illegal as well as bait and switch, and they knew it.

      Do they really save so much by not just hiring 2 or 3 different people to take shifts? People who want to work evening shifts are relatively rare but not impossible to find.

      Reply ↓
  38. PDB*

    I used to work in TV news at both the local and network and yes, you can kiss weekends and holidays goodbye but I never worked at a place like the LW. In fact I really liked it, especially at the network. They would cater Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners and before you say, poor caterers, we were making triple time and tipped lavishly .

    Reply ↓
  39. RCB*

    In 2012 I took a job at a theatre and it was TOTALLY a bait and switch too, so I think this is par for the course for theatres, unfortunately. It was the most toxic place I’ve ever worked, just absolutely horrendous in every single way, I left in less than 10 months.

    Reply ↓
  41. Brad Deltan - Former International Man of Shitty Event Management*

    Your boss sucks, not you.

    Your new company sucks, not you.

    HOWEVER, this is an excellent teachable moment: welcome to the entire goddamn world of event planning, which is choc-a-block full of assholes like this. There is no such as a job in event planning that doesn’t end up requiring at least…AT LEAST…90% of your weekends. Often working five days a week, too.

    You might rightly wonder why on earth anyone would work in this field?

    Desperation to pay rent. It’s a common one. But also it does have certain unique attributes certain people find worthwhile:

    1. If you have no social life to speak of, now your work can be your social life!

    2. If your food and alcohol budget hasn’t decreased by 80% within a month of starting the job? You’re doing it wrong. The goal here is to stop just shy of lining your coat pockets with rubber so you can steal soup. Anything below that is fair game. They ain’t paying you enough to throw all these delicious hors d’Oeuvres away!

    3. Depending on the events, you can sometimes sneak in valuable networking conversations with various important and powerful people. A lot of this will depend heavily on the event, how attentive your boss is, how disdainful of “the help” the people you’re trying to talk to are, and how shameless you can be. Also whether it’s a cash or open bar.

    3b. If you’re REALLY shameless and it’s a good open bar, it’s a fabulous opportunity to get laid, too. You WILL regret it the next morning, but hey, you got laid. Go you! :)

    If this sounds freakin’ awful…and to anyone with a soul, it ought to…then a career in event planning of any kind is not for you. Ask your old boss for your job back.

    Reply ↓
  42. Nat20*

    Please update us about how this shakes out, OP. You have everyone’s sympathy and well wishes; I’m sure I’m not alone in being interested in how it goes from here.

    Reply ↓
  43. Bookworm*

    I was there, OP. Not in media/journalism but I still sincerely remember having a convo with the business owner about how she only expected us to have normal, business workday availability (so 9-6) except during specific times that was known, expected, standard for our line of work, etc.

    Fast forward to a little over a year later and a misunderstanding about project blew up into her saying I had to be available by phone no matter what. I still do not know if I am misremembering, if she changed the policy, if this was a specific requirement imposed on me because I couldn’t get an answer as to how/why this change was happening.

    I refused, saying this wasn’t what I agreed to, pointed to that specific conversation and asked that at minimum, if I could have a cut-off time (8PM? Other to be negotiated at specific times?) and she wouldn’t do that either. In retrospect I should have known she was going to fire me after having a couple of team meetings afterwards without a word about any change (these were regular meetings and nothing special).

    I wasn’t looking to be fired (for being inflexible was the explanation) and really did just want a cut-off time as a reasonable compromise but to be honest I really didn’t like her as a manager and even on a personal level (seemed like a Queen Bee-type) and I do think that was reciprocated.

    I know this probably doesn’t add much but I think overall Alison’s advice is sound. Micromanagement/bad management, etc. who knows? Good luck to you! I’m sorry you’re going through that.

    Reply ↓
  44. ArtsCommsManager*

    Social media is online! A good comms plan should not require one person to have to be at all the events all the time. Posts can be scheduled in advance, venue staff or event photographers can send images during events to the social team to post remotely, partner media can be reposted/shared….this is nonsense!

    Reply ↓
  45. YoungTen*

    OP, your company straight-up lied to you! GET OUT!!! If they’re willing to lie about the actual job, imagine what else they’ll lie about. If this was a relationship and you found out the person you’re dating lied about a key factor of their life that could affect you, wouldn’t you leave asap? it’s the same thing. I hope you find something better soon.

    Reply ↓
  46. Amy*

    What sort of work would OP be doing at private events? If it is social media (I’m unclear on that aspect of their job so I’m making assumptions), why would they need to be taking photos and collecting content for private events? That leads me to believe that they are expected to fill in other event roles as well.
    Or is this a salaried position, therefore management is trying to squeeze out every last drop from OP?

    Reply ↓
  47. NotARealManager*

    I took a job that misrepresented the schedule once. Even after we agreed I could no longer work weekends (I did a for a while) and please don’t ask me to cover for others on weekends, they still called me all the time to try and cover for weekends. They were bad in a lot of ways, not just regarding scheduling so I’d look elsewhere.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Comment

Before you comment: Please be kind, stay on-topic, and follow the site's commenting rules.
You can report an ad, tech, or typo issue here.

Subscribe to all comments on this post by RSS